Tumgik
#but i cant afford to be Completely over it lol
quaranmine · 6 months
Text
waow....trip in two months :]
5 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 2 months
Text
ཻ۪۪♡.
#i want to learn how to vent healthily#bc i have this incessant pathological need to like share every thought i have#and if i dont i get this restless uneasy feeling in my chest and i get restless and worried and like wtf?#whats wrong w me? maybe it has smth to do w that during my entire life i have never been listened to or been helped#like during my life i've asked for help repeatedly but when i have i've only been dismissed or not believed etc etc#so maybe that translated into my head to just feel the need to share it in a public space.....#bc i used to write rverything in a diary but i filled them too quickly and i cant afford the money or space to do that#so i started using twitter and now tumblr... but that has only resulted in me like feeding into it?#it's not healthy to feel the need to share EVERY thought or else u feel crazy. i also shouldnt focus or dwell on thoughts sm#i do have issues bc of my disorders and anxiety. plus avpd in swedish is literally called 'anxious personality disorder' 💀#so it is in me to be anxious and worried and neurotic#but still i want to learn how to not be fixated on thoughts and feelings (also a challenge bc bpd makes feelings feel all consuming)#if i think smth - that also can be totally untrue and only based on my worries -#i can just think it and let it go. idk have to dwell on it and obsess over it. (im trying mindfulness for years lol)#bc most of my venting is like me getting stuck in feelings and idk why i feel the need to express it constantly?#it isnt worth it. bc actually it has caused rifts and missunderstandings in multiple connections i've had online...#i do feel like venting isnt smth bad.. and i think emotions are PERSONAL and like completely unrelated to truth and other ppl#but i get it.. esp when u only know eo online and dont know everything going on in eo's heads#then u only get that as a full image when it isnt the whole picture#so like idk. i WANT to be able to get a healthier outlook on it.. bc this isnt working#both bc of myself and for myself but also in relation to others#and like. why do i like never see anyone else on thmblr/twitter that post EVERY thought like me???? (i dont think its wrong to do bc *i*#have a different pov on it and idc abt other ppl's vents but .. yeah idk why do i do this but no one else does it at the level i do?#so idk i've just been thinking of this lately bc yeah.. yeah i just dont know i dont know.... :///#i actually want to be able to not ruminate and get stuck in it but idk how to break free?#plus expressing positive emotions & thoughts is terrifying to me like idk why but i cant????#why??? i feel like im undeserving of good things that i cant even express smth nice bc im like .. i dont deserve to think/feel that??
9 notes · View notes
29121996 · 3 months
Text
.
0 notes
unusual · 1 month
Text
idek how much i’ve talked about this entire situation on here but i need to get this off my chest and maybe even get some advice…? ty if you end up reading this i really genuinely appreciate it
tldr im estranged from my adoptive mother because she doesnt respect me at all/never considers me part of the family and is extremely on and off with her affections depending on how successful or impressive i am to her (in the sense that when it comes to things like getting good grades or going into remission or getting into college shes “happy” for me because she thinks my success is a reflection of her own ability to parent me and “turn me into a winner” while completely turning on me when im doing poorly or need help and calling me a manipulative demon etc lol)
shes financially abusing me and my dad right now and has been for about 3 years because she hasnt worked a day in her life and my dad for a few years was having success at his job so when she divorced him she took all of our money from us and said she needed more for reasons that were not real (like she asked for 50k to pay for my college and then refused to actually do it so we had to take out a loan etc) its to the point where she makes more money than my dad does working basically 24/7 on call just because we have to pay her so much every month, it was really painful and stressful trying to put me into school because we actually don’t have a place to live rn and cant afford to get one because of her strange actions
about five months ago my dad literally begged her to let me stay with her for all of july because he wanted to make sure i had a place to sleep and he was traveling on business for all of that month, and after a lot of convincing (literally until like the day before i was supposed to go) she said yes and then started ignoring me and refusing to feed me after like four days because i asked her for help with the financial aid stuff.. so we had to reorganize all our plans and stuff like are you noticing a pattern where everything she does is entirely self serving and always ends up inconveniencing us majorly to the point where our livelihoods are at stake. anyway she did that like just over a month ago (july 5 was when my dad was like this is isnane im just going to pick you up and we’ll figure something out) and locked herself in her room like a baby and texted my dad all these things about how i was evil (verbatim) and a mistake and deserved to die from cancer and shit like that BECAUSE I ASKED HER FOR HELP WITH STUFF AHE SAID SHE’D HELP WITH… and now (like as of a few days ago) shes doing this thing where shes texting me cat memes and sending my little brother (who lives with her and who i really care about) to tell me to call her because she wants to hear from me etc and i genuinely am kind of at a point where i don’t ever want to talk to her again under any circumstances because of everythign she’s done to hurt me and my dad (including like 98% that i didn’t even mention here) but i feel semi obligated to because im lonely and shes kind of really good at making me feel guilty… my dad said dont even worry about it because im supposed to be locking in this semester and focusing on my own success and he thinks shes going to drag me down like she always does but idk what to do in this situation
5 notes · View notes
goth-oatmilk-latte · 1 year
Text
tiktok is good for a lot of things but what i really hate is the tiktokers who are like wieiad as a person healing my relationship with food BECAUSE many of these people have access to nutritionists, which they dont mention. so yeah, of course your fOoD hEaLiNg JoUrNeY is going so so well becky, you can afford the medical professionals to help, and you have the money to make your $50 smoothie bowl every morning. you have the income to support you $200/session personal trainer. you can afford fresh produce and to put together nutritionally complete meals. a lot of people cannot afford any of that. thats why some of us arent healing. we cant even afford to start.
likewise with ppl who are grieving and post what theyre doing to help themselves. self help is great dont get me wrong, but of course youre gonna feel 10000x better when you can afford to have your basic needs met AND go out for retail therapy, or some form of spending to help your process every day. everyone would much rather cry in a nice, clean home where they can afford to spend $200 redoing their space on a whim than to cry while stressed out over which bill is getting paid and how are they gonna put gas in their car. like no shit your grief healing is going great, mine would also be fan-fucking-tastic if i could afford to hire someone else to clean my house or afford to do up my garden or if i had money to go out to eat with friends like????
none of this is realistic for the avg person but the way tiktoker influencers are they make you almost feel bad for not being able to do stuff like that idk if its just me tho. but it pisses me off lol like i dont think these ppl realise the unreal privilege they have.
14 notes · View notes
juniper2896 · 3 months
Text
I’m inconsiderate?? For deep cleaning the entire kitchen and organizing cabinets and declutterring to make the kitchen more open and happy…?? Because I moved a FEW items. Not to a completely different place either, just behind something in the same area… I made sure that the things we don’t use were towards the back and the things we use more are in the front. NOT to mention I put my things in the back or higher up and HER things closer and lower because she is short. I am so inconsiderate right??
I’m going to give you a list of inconsiderate things her and her husband have done…:
To start I took her in because she was getting a divorce and needed a place to live (I said she could live with me for 6 months rent free since she didn’t have a job)
Very first night, cant remember if he showed up or if she asked first but her new love interest had to sleep the night because she was scared alone and she felt safer with this guy she had known for 3 years but not in depth and had only been idk dating like a week?? So I said yeah sureee I want you to feel safe and comfortable here…
Sooooooo this new guy at that point had told her he would take care of her financially and she wouldn’t have to get a job, she could go to her exes house and play stay at home mom…So this guy has a job and is basically living with us right? So I should start making them pay rent right?? No I told her 6 months rent free…🥲🙃
So over those first months they slowly bring his things and buy new things and just start putting them anywhere… without asking me….
They start paying rent but can’t afford exactly half so I say I could pay 100 dollars more than them, oh and they can’t afford ANY bills (Electricity or wifi)… I am like okay cool its fine I make significantly more than him and can afford living here alone anyway so its totally fine🙃. But really it is because I am just like that, a good friend 😇.
Soooooo then they start moving the thermostat wherever the fuck they want it and turning on fans in rooms they aren’t in and plugging in something in every fucking outlet. OH!!! They closed vents in the living room and kitchen And went into my room to close my vent in my bathroom area so that they could get more air (Their room really is hotter than the rest of the apartment) Oh and their room didn’t have a ceiling fan but no worries, he is a handy man and installed one 👍🏻
They leave trash bags out on the porch 🤷🏼‍♀️
One morning I was on my lunch break at work and she called me saying soooooo last night me and P (Her lover/other roomie) rescued a kitten, It’s with me now (at her exes house while she watched her kids… a stray un vaccinated cat🙃) I am pretty sure she didn’t ask if it was okay if they could keep it, they just did. I had a pet cat btw that I adopted who was vaxed and fixed and payed for the pet deposit… but, I was like awh cuteeee😅
A month later I found a kitten in my parking spot and called Her down and she picked it up (I was having a hard time) and claimed it for herself💁🏼‍♀️ Cuz that makes sense. I wanted to take it to a shelter and she said welllll I picked it up so its mine anndddd then we had a second cat…
That first cat was a male (We thought it was a girl) and this new cat was definitely a girl… sooooooooo yup, they couldn’t afford to fixed them sooooo yeah they fucked all the time. I should have said lets rehome them but I honestly didn’t think I had a say… so now she is pregnant and they can’t afford anything to make sure she has a healthy pregnancy…Side note they won’t be able to afford the pet deposit when we all move in two months and she had the audacity to ask if I could foster them until they can afford them… wtf? I obviously said NO….
Lol is anyone actually reading all of these😅😅😅💁🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️
Sooooooo I have a house ready for me (My dear mother bought a house in the town I work in and I am going to rent it from her). I could totally break the lease and leave, I could have done that back in February… but they don’t have a place to go so I am waiting till our lease is up (They knew I was leaving and not renewing since September 2023) I am so inconsiderate right?
Back in February I was able to go stay at that new house for a month to make sure everything was working before we had renters move in… when I came back they had moved my apple TV plug into their room and told me right when I got home… she said “I hope that’s okay” not “Is that okay?”…. I had it in the living room and never went out there to watch tv and don’t really watch tv at all so I said it was okay…. It still is, but the point is they didn’t ask!
Also they had closed all my vents to my room so they could get more and never told me till I complained a week later about how hot my room was…
I’m sure there is more but my hand is cramping from all this I texted😅😅😅
So am I inconsiderate for moving a few items?? OH ALSO MOST THOSE ITEMS WERE ACTUALLY MINE🙃🙄
I know, if it bothered me I should have said something sooner right?? Well it didn’t really because I am very tolerant and just used to being pushed around without even realizing it. What bothered me was her saying I am “inconsiderate”…. When all I do is fucking people please to the point of overlooking all of my own wants and needs….
Okay I am done
5 notes · View notes
storiesofsvu · 6 months
Text
Alright. It’s Thursday let’s see how tonight goes…
Weird opening that’s for sure
That blue suit on mechad is fucking gorgeous
Wtf is happening?!!!!?? Is this gonna be one of those twisty episodes? We’re only halfway through…
YES! SAM! Give her more screen time PLEASE
The like, main thing here would be finding the dancer, yes?
The lawyers have a good point with this recording, but it’s all speculation at this point…
I KNOW I know this defence attorney from somewhere… hold pls while I try to figure it out lol
Goddammit it’s not on imdb yet…
Okay so defence found the witness and honestly that just made everything way more complicated. YES, he killed the guy in (self) defence/trying to help/save the girl, BUT he’s still a racist pos who strangled the guy for three minutes after he stopped breathing. Also what was going on with the vic on the train? Cause he defs seemed out of it…
Ohhkay, an asthma attack, that makes sense. Reaching for the inhaler. Got it
Okay, y’all I’m sold on the new DA guy who came from scandal.
What is it with cop shows having very racist/sexist people/witnesses and choosing to send in their poc/women to figure details out.
OOHHH WE LOVE A GOOD UC STORYLINE! IS THIS GONNA BE A MULTI EP ARC?! A CROSSOVER?! (I know im clowning over a crossover, you don’t need to tell me)
That was a really good ep tbh.
*
Okay we all know I’m ignoring TO.
If anyone has any good ideas for a relatively affordable vacation over July/august that wouldn’t be too fucking hot, pls lmk.
*
Svu time!
Woof talk about a dark open
Also… it’s giving little mermaid…. The whole hazy can’t see her but she’s rescuing him and keeping him safe??
…pants around the ankles? Okay wait so something else happened in there?
WHERE! IS! VELASCO!
FFS
“EVERYONE IS ON MANDATORY OT” REALLY?! I REPEAT WHAT I JUST SAID!!
If they’re gonna be fucking rotating cast members, they should be rotating the ones who aren’t officially part of the squad. Curry was on last week, she should be gone this week.
Oh it was a man in the little mermaid vibes, my bad lol
….at least bruno’s here..
Okay… this girl’s apartment layout is the same as olivia’s (old?) one? (the one where noah was a toddler and up on the counter stealing cookies..) they really all about reusing sets aren’t they? Yet they make olivia’s apt completely different each ep…
Also I lowkey love all the fairy lights and art she’s got up, she’s made this place super cozy and calming and I dig it. Like I legit want that little tree with the fairy lights she has… catch me on amazon later.
Okay but like, if you were beat that bad and fighting for your life, there’s definitely a chance of hallucinating someone..
Bruno can yell at me any day…. Just sayin.
Why cant the girl with agoraphobia just fucking zoom/face time into the trial??? Like, they did that shit for younger witnesses/victims, for people already in prison/stuck in hospitals and that was all BEFORE covid…. I get that this is some kind of progress for her/olivia and more building for liv but it’s stupid…
Shout out to liv for making her office a complete safe space with the blinds drawn and candles and shit. Cute.
Okay that was an okay episode, we’re getting there slowly. I just wish we would go back to court for once. I miss my defence attorneys…
*
Lowkey hate this flashback, ngl.
 Okay…I NEED to know how old joe stabler is supposed to be. Cause the actor’s age isn’t listed on wiki/imdb, but there’s a couple pages/articles that say he’s super late 40’s, early 50’s but he could pass for late 30’s so im SO confused lol.
Ahh… okay. Glad the drugs are his and not eli’s lol
Ugh I love bell so fucking much
I really hope Bobby’s leave was written in cause the actor had another offer that he wanted to take and not one that screwed him over.
Yaaasss cragen with the distraction save!
“I thought it worked…” bruh it sure did lol
God I miss cragen’s sass and quips. Im super glad he’s open to guest star
Bell being a complete bad ass like always. Yaaas queen
Speaking of bad ass women… nicely done chief…
Oh fuck….
Okay, well that was a decent night of l&o tonight!
4 notes · View notes
comvi · 7 months
Note
Tumblr media
this, is a vulture. They are air predators with wings. They will spawn off the map and look down at they're prey to hunt them Flying down they will grab all types of shit. including lizards Though intimidating, Vultures are somewhat cowardly and often retreat after taking only 2-3 spear hits before running away, stealing your spears. If you can get one in time 9-11 spear hits to kill fully.
Tumblr media
your warning of them coming are shadows.
attempting to run is bad
Tumblr media
they will block your way and snatch you Just like lizards, they have a lethal bite chance giving you the time to escape. They will kill anyone and anything. but they ignore green lizards, and will run from red lizards (But... they dont give up that easy.)
Tumblr media
They hold a very cool item you sche... see that mask? yeah its just a mask not apart of they're body. THAT. can be stolen
Tumblr media
and what may this mask do..? Well... not gona tell u justtt yet but lets say its a warding signal for everything...(but...red lizards)
Tumblr media
^ un masked
Tumblr media
^ a REALLY rare albino vulture
honestly a part of me thought they might be a bit clumsy because of how much they flop around in the air with their wings, but i feel like i was VERRYY mistaken after reading this
im guessing these are the types of predators/enemies you HAVE to fight, whether you want to/can afford to, or not. like you said- if you run, youre basically dead nomatter what. Theyre so big you CANT get infront of them. so you HAVE to try to scare em off with spears!
the only thing i can really think of that might prevent an encounter is hiding under something/hiding somewhere they cant access, but thats probably either not a function in rainworld, or just EXTREMELY hard to come across a place/opportunity like that.
man. I just know that if spears are included in the trading system of rw, these guys must SUCK to encounter. i dont know if you have to craft spears, find them in places, or anything else but either way, you spent all that time bringing a spear over to trade with a guy ONLY FOR THAT HUGE GUY FORCING YOU TO USE EM ALL!!! I know that would be ENDLESSLY frustrating LOL
and actually, a few times in the past, ive seen pictures of slugcats wearing masks. wondered where they got em & why they use them, i just didnt know they belonged to VULTURES, THESE GUYS!!! And that they have warding abilities for. Literally every enemy ‘sept for one!!
unmasked vultures also look very silly. they look like theyre thinking “whoopsy daisy, that wasnt meant to happen”. weirdly snail-like to me too? not completely sure why but they really remind me of snails when un-masked
+ i think my favourite colour variation of these strange fellows are orange, pink, and ofCOURSE albino!! Orange since they remind me of solar eclipses, pink because. i mean its such a pretty pink. can never go wrong with pink.. and albino because they seem so oddly “delicate” in an almost morbid way. they look sort of ethereal & gorgeous to me, but knowing that they would attempt to kill me with no hesitation puts me off on using that label for em
4 notes · View notes
protagonistheavy · 2 years
Text
Owl House season three, really good. It just came out so I dont want to get into heavy spoilers just yet, and honestly I dont think I have anything too big to say that would be a spoiler.
I will say this special is very touching in a few different ways. The whole experience felt very melancholy, not just the show itself, but knowing its production woes -- that they had to cut down on so many ideas, reduce their whole production and plot to just a meager few specials to finish up telling such a great story and building up an amazing world. This resonates most obviously in the introduction montage sequence, where you can so plainly assume that all these moments couldve been their own fleshed-out episode, and you can then sense it elsewhere where moments feel hurried or like they couldve been greatly expanded upon.
But yeah the content itself, oof, a lot of sadness! I love how Owl House addresses trauma and emotion in such a relatable way, that actually speaks to realities kids face. You know I think a lot about how Steven Universe became infamous for how traumatized its portrayal of Steven became, but I wasnt fond of that result, where it felt like the trauma was really hard to sympathize with -- Steven being the child/reincarnation of a mystical warlord is just, hard to connect with lol. But the experiences Luz and the others go through is portrayed very close to the experiences kids actually go through, at least in ways I could very much relate to, so the connection is a lot stronger. I also love, so much, that they took the time to characterize and explain Camila. So many kids shows that want to have depressed/mentally ill children just sort of gloss over the involvement of parents, either quietly suggesting the parents just aren't responsible or, contrarily, that they're COMPLETELY responsible. But Camila was shown to have so much real depth that an adult could sympathize with; an adult making decisions as best as she can, recovering from her own traumas, having inarguably good intentions for the choices she made. This one special doesnt have too much time to afford Camila in this regard but is very effective with the time it does have; Im left wondering a lot what a Camila-centered episode couldve looked like, possibly diving into her past more graphically to see her upbringing. That said, part of it also feels like a last-second shot at the writers to make Camila more "forgivable," which feels like a necessity since the show took such a more serious tone shift between the first episode and now lol.
There's so much to speculate on but I'll admit that Im not very invested in trying to guess too much at what will happen lol. Owl House is very magical in that almost anything can happen, and the writing can bend enough to sort of surprise us with anything -- I dont think we're going to get any super moments that were incredibly foreshadowed ages ago that weren't totally obvious from the beginning or something. That said Im so excited for the next part, especially having gone so long without Eda and the others; I am fond of the kids group and their dynamic, but wow Eda is such a strong personality to be missing, same with King. Cant wait to see them and what's been going on in their side of the adventure.
2 notes · View notes
imunbreakabledude · 1 month
Note
Late congrats on the bowfa, it really is a game changer and i cant imagine much better it is on an iron. Any idea on what you want to farm out first? I dont know if you found this guide but there is a method to do sara gwd without chugging stams here's the link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaqZaAw0DHk
But i dont know if its worth doing sara or kree, i think acb would only get used at like nex since you have bowfa now and armadyl is such a meagre upgrade over blessed dhide, if you have that, that i think it would only be worth it to get if you have masori to upgrade already. I think the items they drop are just more important later in progression vs the now that bandos and zammy are. But i think kree and sara are considered easier because kree is kinda just sit and hit and sara you just run around not taking any damage from the boss.
Also I didnt see that makeover update osrs did since i've been playing rs3 but that is a pretty sick update. I'm right there with you on wanting the ability to swap between how the armour looks and maybe similar updates for rs3 if the player model update ever happens. Newer armour sets havent been as bad but some of the older ones are like, why? At least let me dress up the dudes the same way. But rs3 has been fun otherwise, cool quests and skilling. Getting stomped by the harder bosses isnt as fun but super satisfying when i finally get the clear, hard mode sanctum is the biggest example of that. I will say though iron is easily the best way to experience the game, there are a lot of interesting bosses, minigames and quests that you can just skip if you sit at one boss hard enough and buy everything. Group iron would probably be better when that comes out in a few months since you get to completely side step solomons store and share some of the horrible grinds.
Also also if these asks are weird please tell me, I don't mean to be creepy or anything i just like talking about runescape
thanks! I am definitely happy to have the bowfa, almost less because of what I want to do now and also not even because I was tired of gauntlet but because it removes the fear of going super dry at gauntlet and getting miserable and wanting to quit the game. as far as I can tell there's no other drop that "locks" you into one place for so long if you don't get it on rate (i know it doesn't really "lock" you from doing other content, but i mean, everyone knows, red prison is a prison bc it just Makes So Much Sense to keep going and get bowfa before most other PVM that it FEELS BAD to not have it)
thanks also for the guide, watching it once it already looks like a pain to me (i am lazy as fuck and any guide that has multiple colors of tiles or like, more than a couple sets of super intuitive tiles to step on looks like way too much to worry about to me lol. I'm sure I will appreciate it some day though).
also to clarify I don't plan on "grinding" kree or zilyana at all. I just wanted 1kc of each GWD boss for both fremmy elite + unlocking nex (which I got, last night!) I might do a bit more of each of them to see what combat achievements I can get, though. Because to answer your question, that's my next plan - going for Elite combat achievements. I'm quite far off from them and it will require me to get a lot more experience at a variety of bosses I haven't done much/at all. so that's my goal and I'll hope for useful drops along the way. but I want to enjoy the variety that is now afforded to me.
my other goal is diary cape, which requires 93 slayer (and I want 95 eventually for hydra, too), so basically I'm doing slayer and trying to use any tasks I can use for bosses OR other important drops (like, if I get a greater demon task, which i haven't for a WHILE, i'm kind of suspicious lol) then I'll do TDs. or Kril after I get 2-3 synapses. Black demons I'll do demonics of course. Anything (besides those) I can do in catacombs I'm doing there to amass ancient shards for eventual emberlight.
there's some content I can't get slayer tasks for (don't plan on unlocking boss tasks anytime soon) - like Zulrah, Bandos, and ToA, which all have key drops I ""should"" be prioritizing, so I guess I'll mix them in whenever I'm feeling up to it.
I'm glad rs3 is treating you well :) I didn't realize that rs3 didn't have group iron yet. that should be fun. and no worries about sending these asks, not weird, it is fun indeed to talk about runescape :)
1 note · View note
bunnihearted · 10 months
Text
📖🖊❄️
#journal dump bc i have too much on my mind#1) i HATE my neighbors. theres never one quiet moment. they stomp around and slam cabinets all the time it feels like#2) ​i've been reading more recently even if concentration's hard bc of noise. but i also feel like there r too many books i wanna read#but yeah. too little time. so instead i cant settle on a book and kinda dont even read as much as i want to. a stupid problem really#3) it's crazy to say but i wish i had a part time job. sitting at home 24/7 for 5/6 years has been SO terrible for me.#everything feels meaningless. every day is the exact same. im not LIVING. im rotting away and all my issues get worse. im also so fkn bored#and i dont wanna sit at home and do assignments (even if thats what i technically should be doing)#i want a job to go to which takes me away from home + gives me money#then i can come home and sit and rot and ENJOY it. bc now my lazy time is only smth negative and bad for me :/#ofc i hate the mere thought of having some soul sucking utterly pointless job and our capitalist society is a slave hellhole. but.. as it is#im not even able to enjoy ANY of my time bc all my time feels bad. plus im only getting poorer and poorer so i cant afford to buy anything#4) im so fkn bored and going crazy from eating the exact same food every single day for the third month now. im sick of it#everything tastes so bland and disgusting. it's genuinely making me depressed 😭 i wanna eat REAL food. im so tired bc no nutrition :((#i cant do anything except wait for my appt w the doctor next week and hope they put me on a waiting list for surgery.. but ong im sick of it#5) i miss my sisters :/ we live in the same apartment but its like i've completely ceased to exist to them#except when they need to be passive aggressive to me. lol. i miss them. but they just dont wanna talk to me :/#but tbh. most of all... i just want my health issue to be over so my body can function normally again.#i can face anything in life if i can come home to a cup of coffee nd some chocolate ^-^ <333
11 notes · View notes
mintyvoid · 1 year
Text
so i bought and have now recived my anti planner, and while i imagine a bunch of the tools wont do anything- im hoping something helps. And ill try to speak up if anything does.
For some context i suppose if you dont regularly read my depressed rants, i was diagnosised autistic in 2020 but had been in therapy on and off since 2010 for anxiety and depression. I found a majority of resources not helpful or treading over ground ive already done years into- when I started researching 'okay so im autistic what the fuck do i do now, how do i get better'.
(I just keep ranting how shit doesnt seem to want to work for me below)
Most likely cause of all the years ive done work on myself, i am very self aware and quite good at communicating how im feeling. But found that none of the tools I learned helped long term or even enough to better my quality of life(now knowing this was because all those tools help people without a neuro disability, they simply were never going to work).
I've also found that a lot of the resources out there, include this book, are catered towards those with adhd, which while having a lot of simularities to autism- they are not the same. And though I had previously thought i was adhd, im like pretty sure this isnt the case(like in terms of a duo adhd n autism diag). So a lot of the stuff i end up finding /also/ doesn't work.
Though i cant reaally tell if its due to the autism or depression. A good example is the 'trick your brain' angle i see abundantly. To do things like 'set a timer to create a deadline or force panic' or similar time constrainted things simply dont work. I can feel incredible stress to complete something from a deadline or disappointed friend or angry manager and it do little to nothing to motivate me to do the actual thing. If i dont want to do something(or even if i want to do something but my brain for whatever reason doesnt let me), it doesnt happen- concequnce be damned.
I can break tasks into smaller chunks for days, but if i cant get up or move my arm to start said small task then it doesnt really matter does it? The one thing i can do is organize lol, but its the one thing that i see the most as advice- which is totally understandable as its not something taught so a majority would lack the skill. I was really lucky to seek help when i did and to then get actually good advice. It's probs been the only moment where help and support did actually help my quality of life.
Most likely I wont see any improvement in my life till I either go back therapy(actually find someone who can help someone like me, probs needs to be on meds again too) or can afford to create an environment thats supportive of my needs...or more than likely a combo of the two lol. Neither of which i see happening as both need money and i cant work nor get much from my disability program and cant work enough on online stuff to make that my income.
As an aside, i do know that many if not most, have it worse than i do. And i often feel that i simply cant complain about my own situation because im have a loving family that supports me as much as they can, im no where near homelessness, im not bipoc or a trans person, i could technically work but i would only be able to just work(aka id have to give up doing what i ant for a living and went to school for and actually am passionate about, and honestly typical work stresses and sucks so much energy out of me ugh id probs just burn out again n quit). I dont feel i can ask for money or support when there are others i feel need it way more than i do.
And i absolutely hate that what i have isnt enough, and that fact is also why i feel i cant vent. Srry this kinda went off the deep end.
0 notes
Text
Making overlays and emotes for channel
Tumblr media
Making overlays and emotes for channel 
Giving your viewers something to spam   We all love the emotes or overlays that streamers  have but cant afford the price tag people are asking well  what if I was to tell you that you can make your own overlays and emotes for free ya I know your not a graphics designer  but hey eader am I and I mead my own overlay lol and emotes for free and all so did a few others  so let me show you were to go and how to make a overlay/emotes  for your stream There are many Sites that offer free services  but the one we are using today  will  be Canva as this is my personal fav lol but i will  have a list of other sites that offer the services for free :)
what we will be using to make our overlays and emotes
Right guys first you will  need to sign up to canva  you can sign up by clicking here once u have your account in the search type Twitch overlays  or click here Twitch overlays
Tumblr media
This is the page you will  be brought
Tumblr media
Now it will gave you a lot of options to edit so pick a overlay and start editing for this one Iv chosen Dark Gray Playful Gaming Twitch Overlay  template . Frist we will  edit the name on the top of the over u can do this by double clicking the text
Tumblr media
Now we can change the background so if u go to the sidebar and click elements  I'm picking Halloween as hey its nearly here lol
Tumblr media
now we pick out background I'm going with the one with the bats in the moonlight just drag it over and right click replace background but this theme we can not change the background so u can add anything really  to the overlays by removing the default element's :)   Now if your happy with the design  in the top right of the screen  click share and download Then upload the overlay to https://streamelements.com/  
Making your emotes
Now were are going to work on the emotes just like the over type twitch emotes to the search bar
Tumblr media
This will  bring you to  this page were there is a wide range of emotes for you to pick from
Tumblr media
Editing the emotes is the same as editing your overlay.   List of other free editing sites as i said at the start they are many other sites that offer free editing services so here is a short list of said sites :) - staCreate is not the only option for Display Ad Design Software. Explore other competing options and alternatives. Display Ad Design Software is a widely used technology, and many people are seeking sophisticated, productive software solutions with infographics. Other important factors to consider when researching alternatives to VistaCreate include social media and videos. We have compiled a list of solutions that reviewers voted as the best overall alternatives and competitors to VistaCreate, including Canva, Marq, Adobe InDesign, and Microsoft Publisher. - Adobe Spark is an online Adobe tool for quick graphic design. It’s definitely not Adobe Photoshop or Illustrator, but as one of the best alternatives to Canva, it does the job quite well. The interface is clean and simple and the onboarding to new projects is streamlined. You can create social media graphics in most of the common sizes. - Design Wizard is an easy-to-use Canva alternative for creating static graphics or short videos. The tool offers templates for most social media assets plus some documents and presentation-style projects. Inside the editor, you have a choice between a static graphic editor and a video editor. They are two completely different editing spaces. :) Read the full article
0 notes
ravencrantz · 3 years
Text
i had the Thought that itd be Cool and Fun to stream my first playthrough of botw because ive never played a zelda game before and thought it'd be entertaining but i know NOTHING of streaming and now i feel like im gonna be stuck in a loop of i cant play botw until i can stream it and thats so dumb i wanna play it but i wanna play it with friends
5 notes · View notes
lazyfox411 · 4 years
Text
.
1 note · View note
pepprs · 6 years
Text
i kno ive been doing nothing but making personal posts all day and i apologize but i just came 2 the realization that by the end of 2019 i need to either have a car / be able to drive or be living on campus. and i think living on campus is gonna b the most realistic option but it’s the scariest one. all i kno is i Absolutely Cannot keep living like this anymore and being a burden to ppl bc i still live @ home w my family and don’t even have my learners permit yet. i need to get on w my life and learn how to be independent and it’s going to be hard and painful but it’s going 2 make life a lot easier for me and the ppl around me
#i cant do drivers ed until summer bc they only offer 2 week intensive classes around me like u cant do twice a week or 3x a week its#litcherally 14 days straight of being in the same place every day ahd i wont have that kinda flexability until summer. i could have tried to#do it over break but didnt bc my life fucking fell apart an di should have#but living on campus doesnt require that flexibility just.. me to grow up. which is harder and will hurt more but also i need 2 do it bc#being a commuter fucking sucks all of my friends live on campus and i miss out on so much i dont rly have. a social life or anything and tht#would help a lot i think. but i would need 2 find roommates who r vegan or can accommodate me eating that way and can also drive me 2 get#food bc i provably wont b able 2 drive by august when classes start bc in my state u have 2 wait 9 months bt getting ur permit + ur lisence#regardless of whether u got all ur hours done or not lol lol lol! so i need 2 meet new ppl. the ultimate goal i think is 2 live in an#on campus appt where i can have my own bedroom bc ive never had that b4 and i would share a kitchen space w my roommates#but theres a lot that has 2 b done 2 get there and my fanily wont want me 2 bc itll mess stuff up and idk if we can even afford it lol!#but like. i Have to be independent by this time next yr bc i’ll b abt 2 st*dy abr*ad and i’ll b completely on my own then and i dont want#that 2 b my first experience of it u kno... plus trying 2 find a ride rn fucking sucks!!!!!!!!#anyways. i Will Shut Up but everyone here js skck of me talking abt it and i just need to like talk ad talk and talk and then cry#purrs
10 notes · View notes