#but i had a lot of funn with this

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

actually what is this guy's problem

(for @springlock-suits's DTIYS thingy :))

[i-will-change-this-someday]

I’m almost done listening to Wooden Overcoats, s4 ep2, and I’m crying about the Funns’ childhood.

In S3 ep3, they got called weird and were kicked out of the scouts.

In s3 ep4 the worst five-word sentence they could think of was “Mum. And. Dad. Are. Back.” Like, what? The worst thing you can imagine is your parents being around? I mean same, but dang, your parents sucked.

And there are other hints that their parents weren’t great, but season 4 episode 2 really just shows how awful their entire childhood was. They were outcasts in the village and everyone hated them, to various degrees, their parents, their peers, their teachers.

At the beginning of the Rudyard’s story Mr. Funn took Rudyard’s lunch money.

In their previous school the other kids called them weird and threw them into ponds. (The previous episode said that Rudyard can’t swim.)

They have a game they play called “happy families”

They got forced to be more active than they physically should have.

They had angry dogs chase them around the school.

Rudyard was told to ignore his imagination to avoid disappointment.

Antigone gets bullied by her peers.

I guess Rudyard was wearing a skirt, but at least that’s not what Mr. Askey had an issue with. No, his issue was Rudyard existing, so he had all the other kids to kick soccer balls at him as hard as they can.

Rudyard gets bullied by his peers, until a teacher comes, and then he’s bullied by his peers and his teacher.

Then Rudyard gets chased around the school by both his teachers.

At least, Ms. Khatri wasn’t really that bad, she encouraged Antigone, and even though she threw away the gerbil, she didn’t show outright disgust in front of Antigone.

[o-i-w-u]

oh.mygod

[ask-artsy-oncie]

Man the 3DS Era was so fun, I miss it.

[kandibatz]

btw. one of those ocs i never post

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

me: okay im pretty tired so im just gonna find something light to watch

video about the rms laconia: exists

me: oh hey, i know that one pretty well, i wont end up angry crying about it this time. clicks on video

an hour later

me: is angry crying about it this time

[transgenderbobdylan]

7 and 24 :]

7: a song i’ll never get tired of listening to

24: a song i want to be my theme song

[ilwonuu]

𐦍༘?can i 𐦍༘⋆

↬ choi seungcheol

𓇣 pairing- nonidol!cheol x fem reader, dom!seungcheol x sub!reader, bestfriend!cheol x fem reader, friends to lovers<3

𓇣 summary- your best friend calls you late at night for something other than a innocent hangout.

𓇣 warnings- dumb confessing love to each other, oral sex (m receiving), fingering (f receiving), dirty talk, cum swallowing, kissing, MDNI, lmk what else

𓇣 a/n- this is just a random fic that u wrote a long time ago.. i liked it enough to post so lmk what you think!! should i write a part two? ALSO IM BACK FROM LITERALLY NOT POSTING FOR DAYS!!!! im posting a lot of fics today<3 luv u guys 😡

tossing and turning in your bed has gotten you wide awake. you’ve been trying to fall asleep for the past hour. it now being 1:30am as glance at your clock.

you sigh closing your eyes again before you start to get a call. you groan reaching for your phone. seeing it’s seungcheol you make a confused expression, pressung answer.

“cheol? it’s so late what’s up?” you question and he just sighs. “okay- um this is gonna sound crazy but can i pick you up? i’ve been thinking you all night.” he confesses. his voice sounding tense but lust filled.

“thinking about me? what do you mean?” you are beyond confused now, wanting him to explain it. of course cheol has said something like this to you before, but this time it feels different.

“just let me come get you and i’ll explain then. can i?” he asks. you don’t even know why but your mouth is immediately saying that you would love for him to pick you up.

you having no control when it comes to cheol. you sigh again as you force yourself out of the warmth of your bed to grab some pants to throw on.

quickly changing as you know cheol, how fast he would get to your house. speaking of, your phone lights up with a text from the boy telling you he’s outside. you slip on your slippers and head out of your house into his car.

“well good morning to you.” you say sarcastically as you get into the passenger seat. “can i just drive and explain? it’s kind of a lot to take in.” he starts to drive to your guys usual spot to watch the sunset. you couldn’t do that now obviously…

“so.. were you asleep when i called?” “no unfortunately i haven’t been sleeping very well and these were one of the completely sleepless nights.” he sighs not taking his eyes of the road.

“i’m sorry i hope you can sleep better tomorrow.” he says looking at you for a moment to give you a soft smile before finally arriving at your spot.

“are you gonna tell me why you wanted to pick me up at 2 in the morning?” you turn your gaze to him and he just nods. “don’t freak out okay-“ he cuts himself off.

“y/n- i’m in love with you. and everyday i’m more and more in love with you. i couldn’t get confessing to you off my mind. i wanted you to know in person.” he says looking at you for a reaction, response, anything.

“cheol i-“ he sighs thinking he already knows what you’re gonna say. “i know you don’t feel the same. i had a feeling you didn’t but i just need to tell you okay? it was killing me and i just don’t want anything to be weird now-“ you stop his words with your finger.

“cheol shut up. i’m in love with you too.” you confess as well catching him completely off guard. “wait are you serious? don’t mess with me that’s not funn-“ you cut him with a kiss against his lips.

“you believe me now?” he nods pulling you to kiss him again. “you don’t know how bad i wanted to do that.” he admits with a deep sigh.

“cheol-you know-i- me too.” his hands intertwined with yours. you feel so safe with him. you want nothing more than to be his. you want him to be yours.

“y/n i- please let me kiss you again.” and that’s how you ended up here. on your knees in the backseat next to your best friend, reaching for his dick as he fucks his fingers into you.

“cheol-“ he smirks down at you. “feel good baby? keep going.” you nod at his words finally pulling his dick out of his pants. shocked at the size of course. you have never been with anyone with a dick this big- nearly coming on his fingers.

“go ahead, let me see you baby.” he’s looking down at you with intimidating eyes. you give his dick a couple strokes causing him to hiss but mindlessly ruts his hips up with your hand.

you kitten lick the tip of his dick not breaking eye contact with him. a load groan erupting from him. his fingers are starting to fuck into you faster. your moans against him making him crazy.

“fuck just like- that. feels so fucking good.” his hips moving with your mouth as you fuck yourself back onto his fingers.

“look at you. o-oh fuck” your mouth speeding up on his cock. his fingers curling inside of you causing you to moan. you gag on his dick as his hips start to meet your mouth.

you cum on his fingers hard as you feel him start to fuck your mouth. he fucks his fingers into slowly before pulling them out to bring them up to his mouth.

he hums before groaning when he sees you looking up at him. he pulls his fingers out his mouth, his hand inching to your ass rather quickly.

“i’m gonna- fuck i’m coming. you’re so beautiful.” his cum shooting deep into your mouth as his hips fuck up with his groans.

you keep eye contact with him as you swallow. he groans trying not to fuck your mouth again. you sit up to kiss him.

“you’re so pretty.” he gives you a big smile as the two of you get dressed. you blush and look away from him. “want to come to my house?” he smiles at you.

[bxeckersz]

Bratty | Paige Bueckers x Female Reader

Based on this request

Summary: Y/n goes out with Paige and her team but catches an attitude and gets jealous when she sees paige engaging with another woman.

Warnings: Language, drinking, strap

A/n: bro idk what this title is so 😭😣. also BARE w MEEE, i am not good at smut so like pls, bare w me 😭. Had to rewrite this 38372 times cause tumblr kept deleting it 😣.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

“Y/n pleaseee” Aubrey pleads as we walk out of their practice. I came to Paige’s practice today since I had nothing better to do. Aubrey and Jana were currently begging me to go out with them.

“It’ll be so much funn” Jana says. “I don’t know guys. I have homework” I reply. “Y/n, you haven’t gone out with us in like.. forever. cmon. please? you need a break” Nika butts in.

I bite the inside of my cheek, thinking about Nika’s comment. She is right. The last time I had been out with them was for Paige’s birthday. It’s June.

“you still owe me from when you didn’t come with us on my birthday” KK says, wiggling her eyebrows. Fuck, she is right.

“Pleasee” Jana pleads. “Fine” I say, cracking. The team erupts into cheers and laughter. “we’re gonna have so much fun” Jana says, throwing her arm over my shoulder.

“yeah I guess, but get off me your sweaty” I say, throwing her arm over me. “can’t believe your coming out tonight” Paige says, putting her arm over my shoulder and laughing quietly.

I watch as Jana’s jaw drops. “Wow. So i cant do it, but Paige can? Fake” She says, putting her hand over her chest.

“Yeah, she can.” I say, nodding as we walk into the parking lot. “The favoritism goes crazy” Jana says, putting her hand up.

“she likes me more than you” Paige says, unlocking the car door. “That is so not true”.

“Oh whatever” Jana rolls her eyes, getting in her car.

☆☆☆☆☆

The music blares through the cluttered and humid club. Me, Jana, Caroline, and Ayanna are at the bar. KK, Aubrey, Aaliyah, Nika, and Azzi are dancing. Paige and Ice are interacting with fans as always. And Ashlynn, Qadence, and Amari are somewhere keeping the team alive with their soberness cause lord knows they won’t drink for shit.

“I’ll be right back” I say as I see Paige wrap her arm around this girl. “okay” Yanna nods.

“Who’s this?” I ask, walking up to Paige.

“Hey baby. Uh- this is Ari. we used to go to high school together. This is my girlfriend, Y/n” Paige nods, introducing us.

I nod, looking the girl up and down. Paige’s arm was around her shoulder, Ari’s hand was around her hand. The shit made me furious to say the least.

I roll my eyes, “Well i’ma go back to the bar”.

“Alright” Paige furrows her brows. I can notice the girl looking at me weirdly.

I walk back to the bar, hopping on the bar stool. “Who’s that” Jana asks.

I shrug, “Some girl Paige used to go to school with.”

“Mm” They nod. “You good?” Caroline asks, noticing my demeanor. “i’m good” I purse my lips together.

“What’s up with you?” Paige jogs to me.

“Nothing” I shake my head. “Bull shit” Paige sighs. “Uhm- cmon guys let’s go with KK” Jana says, grabbing Caroline and Ayanna.

“Why’re you over here anyway? go talk to Ari” I roll my eyes. “Oh so that’s what this is about?” Paige raises her eyebrows.

I look up at her, “What do you mean”

“This attitude shit you’ve got going on. It’s cause of Ari, hm?” Paige motions to Ari.

“I don’t have an attitude.” I scoff, my tone sassy. “Watch that tone” Paige hops on the stool next to me.

I roll my eyes in response, turning my head the other way. “You never answered my question. This attitude you’ve got is cause of Ari, huh?” She repeats.

“Again, I don’t have and attitude”

“You better watch that tone and attitude before I fuck it out of you.” Paige whispers in my ear.

“I don’t have a fucking attitude, paige.” I remark.

The next thing I know i’m bent over our bed getting absolutely destroyed by her strap.

“told you to watch that damn attitude.” Paige groans. All I can do is moan in response.

“Fuck.” is all i can manage to get out.

“feel good, hm?” Paige coos.

“mhm” I moan out.

“Use your words” Paige spits out.

“Fuck. yes, feel so good” I moan, gripping the sheets whilst Paige shamelessly thrusts into me.

Paige grabs a hold of my waist, speeding her thrusts up. “Paige. fuck, feels so good” I moan out.

“told you to watch that bratty attitude of yours. Now look at yourself. fucked out on my cock” She groans. She was right- i was so fucked out.

“Fuck- don’t stop. so close” I moan, gripping the sheets hard enough for my knuckles to turn white.

“Let go, baby. cum all over my cock.” Paige spews out, speeding her thrusts up more.

Her words combined with the speed of her deep thrusts causes me to let go. The knot in my stomach breaks. “Oh, fuck.” A string of pornographic moans leave my mouth as I cum.

Paige rides me through my high, “that’s good.”

She eventually slows down and pulls out. “God dammit, paige.” I catch my breath, turning over.

“Can’t say I didn’t warn you.” Paige says, a cocky smirk growing in her face.

“Oh, shut up.” I groan.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

thanks for reading all the way through!

yall i literally had to re write this so many times.

[innuendostudios]

new video about Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy, and how everyone* keeps getting them wrong! this video is sponsored by Nebula, a place where you can watch the original version of this video before I had to tweak it for YouTube's copyright bots. (by clicking that link, you can get an annual subscription for 40% off.) or you can just back me on Patreon, which is also cool and good.

transcript below the cut.

I adore Edgar Wright’s Cornetto Trilogy. I flirted with making a video about it ages ago, had a draft of a script, but ultimately decided it wasn’t about anything except “here’s a thing I like, and here are its (I thought) very obvious themes.” So I shelved it. But, in the years since, I have seen multiple video essayists on this here website claim that these movies are about growing up and taking responsibility. (I say “multiple.” It’s not a lot. But it’s more than one! And that’s enough.)

These people are 100% wrong.

Lemme lay it out: the Cornetto Trilogy is not about growing up. It is not about taking responsibility. It is the exact opposite, and that’s not subtext. It is three movies about stunted manchildren thrust into extraordinary circumstances, and each, in the end, is saved - is redeemed - by abandoning his character arc and failing to grow or change. It is a three-part love letter to immaturity.

And I guess I have to set the record straight.

Sometimes making a video about a thing you love is an act of appreciation. And sometimes it’s out of spite.

The Cornetto Trilogy is three movies: Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End. All three are written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright; Pegg stars, and Wright directs; all three center on a relationship between Pegg and real-life best friend Nick Frost, which makes each film a reunion of the core team behind Spaced (excepting, but for a small role in Shaun of the Dead, Jessica Hynes). The three films span three genres: zombie apocalypse, buddy cop, alien invasion; each features a Cornetto ice cream cone: strawberry to represent blood, original blue to represent the police, and mint to represent little green men; this is a joking nod to Krzysztof Kieślowski’s Trois Couleur films, Bleu, Blanc, and Rouge, which were based on the colors and themes of the French flag (I don’t care what you say, Emily: #TeamRouge); that nod is funny because Trois Couleur is high-art drama and these are comedies. All three are parodies of, tributes to, and actually surprisingly good executions of their respective genres. And the hook, the gag at the center of all these movies, is that Simon Pegg plays a character wholly unsuited to be starring in this kind of film.

Shaun, the burnout, is the wrong person to survive the zombie apocalypse; by-the-book British bobby Nicholas is the wrong person to lead an American-style bombastic actioner; and alcoholic asshole Gary is the last person to save the world from aliens.

And I think that’s where people get stuck. Because “schlub finds himself protagonist of a genre film” is the elevator pitch for like a dozen Adam Sandler movies. The genre trappings may be as mundane as parenthood or mandated anger management classes, or as high-concept as action movie, whodunnit, or time travel It’s a Wonderful Life if Clarence were Christopher Walken as the angel of death (that… that makes it sound good, it’s not, don’t see Click; leave Frank Capra alone, Adam). But all these movies have the same basic shape: an extraordinary situation forces a guy to confront his shortcomings, which always stem from having never grown up. And you probably haven’t seen all of these movies, but if you’ve seen any, I bet you have assumptions about how the rest end: even though “Adam Sandler acts like a child” is generally the selling point of an Adam Sandler movie, they all end with some lip service toward becoming an adult: hey man, grow up a bit; appreciate your family a little more; square your shoulders; clean your room. This is so standard, it was parodied mercilessly in Funny People.

And this was a formative microgenre for my generation! Whole universe turns itself upside down to teach some shitty dude to, like, do the dishes and pay his wife a compliment now and then - Liar Liar, Bruce and Evan Almighty (all directed by the same guy, by the way). So I don’t blame people of a certain age for seeing the first act of Shaun of the Dead and thinking “I know where this is going.” And when, at the last minute, it swerves and goes someplace else, you could read that as a gag, a final subversion of expectation, still the same basic shape. But no! No! Once is a gag - thrice??? Thrice is a thematic statement!

So lemme make my case. I’ma take you through these movies one by one - we’ll talk about the manchildren and the expectations set by the genre, and then we’ll talk about that last-minute swerve and what it means. And then you’ll tell me I’m right and apologize!

Shaun of the Dead:

Shaun is a man in his twenties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the slacker.

What is his problem? He needs to sort his life out. Shaun doesn’t know how to take action. He hasn’t advanced since college - he’s been working the kind of job a teen takes over the summer for like a decade, lives with the same best friend, has the same petty fights with his stepdad, goes to the same pub every week with the same group of people. He can’t make a reservation, he can’t manage a calendar, he’s a washup. This makes his girlfriend, Liz, feel stifled, trapped; he is a weight around her ankle, taking her on the same date week after week, keeping her from living her own dreams, having her own adventures. She gives him one last chance to prove he can sort his life out, and he blows it, and she dumps him.

And then: a zombie movie happens.

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: to survive, and save his loved ones, he’ll have to take action, make plans, be decisive. This is a common fantasy: when you feel ground down by the mundanity of life, you might imagine, oh, if only a crisis would happen, like a zombie virus outbreak, where my normal-life problems like “am I gonna make rent,” “is my girl gonna take me back,” “is my roommate gonna kick out my stoner buddy who’s crashing on the couch” become meaningless, and it’s immediately clear what’s really important, what matters. Then I’d know exactly what to do. It’s why disaster movies work as escapism: a necromantic plague - or at least the fantasy of one - is sometime preferable to normal life.

Hot Fuzz:

Nicholas is a man in his thirties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the hall monitor.

What is his problem? He can’t switch off. He is a hypercompetant police officer with a rulebook where his brain should be. He’s so good at being a cop that he’s spotting and unraveling crimes even on his day off. He can’t maintain a relationship, has no friends, all his coworkers hate him because he keeps finishing their work for them, and his stats show up the rest of the force so badly that they scuttle him out to the country.

Now you might be thinking, “Mmm. A fastidious police officer who can’t have fun? How is that a manchild? Sounds pretty grown-up to me. You’re reaching, bud.” Ohhhh ho ho, smartass, do you remember this scene? [bar scene] Yeah! Nicholas Angel has a five-year-old’s notion of law and order. He’s still playing cops and robbers.

And that’s a problem, because then: an action movie happens.

It doesn’t happen all at once: he goes out to the country and finds they do things a bit differently there. They are (ostensibly) less concerned with rules than what than the rules are for: if the purpose of drinking laws is to keep the streets safe and orderly, and letting some people off with a warning or allowing kids drink so long as they do it inside achieves that end, the rule can be bent. That’s a judgment grown-ups can make; I mean, they’re the ones who wrote the rules in the first place. So be lenient with shoplifters, don’t hassle people for speeding; this isn’t the Big City, you can use your better judgment. But Nicholas never got past doing whatever Mom & Dad said; obedience, and trusting whoever’s up the chain, is his entire moral framework. He can’t accept that bending the law could be more righteous than following it.

But also maybe there’s a criminal conspiracy murdering people and writing it off as accidents and the police chief might be in on it. Or maybe Nicholas is so desperate for a big case with no moral ambiguity that he’s seeing things where they aren’t. 

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: either there’s nothing going on and he needs to chill out about procedure, or the department is corrupt and he’ll have to go rogue like it’s Point Break - and this is how he experiences Point Break. [“paperwork”]

No matter what, he’ll have to bend the rules, which he constitutionally cannot do.

The World’s End:

Gary is a man in his forties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the delinquent.

What’s his problem? Pfffft. What isn’t his problem? Gary is a manipulative, narcissistic, lying, self-destructive, ignorant, violent, thieving, shit-talking, unapologetic asshole who peaked in high school when being all those things was still kind of badass. The greatest night of his life was the drunken pub crawl after graduation he and his friends didn’t even finish, and he’s been tumbling downhill ever since. He’s spent his life ruining everyone who knows him until there’s no one left to ruin but Gary King. So now it’s time to bully the old gang into going back home with him to relive that night by finishing the pub crawl, because, in his own words, it’s all he’s got. And he and his friends have to confront how home has changed since they left - the bars have gentrified, not everyone recognizes them; the defining, epic deeds of Gary’s youth have been forgotten. You can’t actually go back because that place doesn’t exist anymore.

And then: a sci-fi movie happens.

Turns out the town’s been taken over by aliens, and all the people who couldn’t conform to their new order have been replaced with robots! That’s why no one recognizes them! And that’s why the pubs all look the same: the aliens are homogenizing everything! And it’s clear, if they can’t get Gary and his friends to play ball, they’ll roboticize them as well! The obvious move is to get the hell out of town, but Gary keeps inventing excuses to stay and finish the pub crawl, and they sound pretty sensible because the group’s already five pints in. The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: sooner or later he’s gonna have to give up on recapturing his youth and do what’s best for him and his friends now, even if it means running back to the city where all his problems live.

So there we have it: the characters cross the threshold into an unfamiliar world where an external conflict cannot be addressed without resolving the tension within. The slacker will have to get his shit sorted, the hall monitor will have to break the rules, and the delinquent will have to do what’s good for him. And, to an extent, all three know this! The movies Wright and Pegg pay homage to exist in these stories - Shaun knows what a zombie is, Danny keeps Nicholas up watching Point Break and Bad Boys II, and Gary and friends know bodysnatcher movies so well they have philosophical debates with the robots about whether “robot” is the PC term.

So, yeah, if you turned the movies off there, I could forgive you for thinking that’s where they’re headed. But you goofballs watched them to the end and then made content about them, what is wrong with you???

What actually happens in the second halves of these movies?

Shaun twigs that he’s in a zombie movie and, at first, tries to play the part - his survival plans are miniature hero’s journeys with him as protagonist, wherein he’ll save the day by neatly confronting all his flaws. He’ll resolve parental conflict by saving his mom from his zombified stepdad, resolve romantic conflict by showing his girl he can come through when it counts, and resolve internal conflict by being a man who saves the day. And all his plans suck! It’s just the same plan he always comes up with! Dragging around the same useless liability of a bestie, collecting the same group of people, and holing up in the same pub! He doesn’t save his mom: his stepdad apologizes, resolving their conflict for him, and then survives in zombie form but Shaun’s mom gets killed; most of the friend group gets killed because the crisis does not actually suspend but in fact amplifies their personal grievances; and he doesn’t save the day, just manages not to die long enough for the military to show up.

But… well, Liz wanted adventure and now she’s had enough for a lifetime, so… she’s down to just be boring with him for a while - sit on the couch, watch TV, hit the pub. Beats running for your life. Tensions with the roommate are gone cuz roommate died, but rent is covered cuz Liz moved in. Zombies don’t get eradicated, just folded into normal life, so Shaun can mindlessly play video games with his bestie forever, and it’s not a problem that bestie doesn’t have an income cuz he doesn’t need food or shelter.

The zombie apocalypse doesn’t make Shaun sort his life out, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

When Nicholas discovers that, yes, there is definitely a murderous criminal conspiracy inside the police department, he recognizes the only way to bring about justice is to become what Danny has always wanted and go Dirty Harry on the town. It’s either that or just swallow the crimes. But he does neither. He and Danny go on an epic shooting spree, recreating famous movie scenes, taking out the entire criminal organization against all odds, and spouting badass one-liners… but everyone who helps them is a cop, they don’t actually kill anyone, all perps are formally arrested, and they fill out all the paperwork. I think he even properly signs out the weapons. He never switches off, never breaks a rule, does absolutely everything by the book, only… louder. And this violent showdown saves him from the chill town with lax rules he thought he’d moved to. Now he, with his five-year-old notion of right and wrong, is in charge of the police department.

The buddy cop actioner doesn’t make Nicholas bend the rules, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

Gary knows exactly how a movie of this sort is supposed to go and spends the whole movie running from it. Friends and secondary characters keep sharing these poignant moments with him, because they know this story, too: yeah, he’s gonna reject help at first, but sooner or later he’ll hit rock bottom and then someone will get through to him. And, as the night goes on, and the characters get drunker and drunker, and Gary passes up more and more opportunities to abandon the pub crawl and go home, these moments take a tone of desperation. They start to sound more like interventions; like, Gary, we all know you’re going to come to your senses but could you hurry up with it??? How many of your friends need to literally die for you to shape up? Are you gonna get them all killed?

And the answer is: Gary will never shape up! To Gary the Human Dril Tweet, his friends trying to save him, psychiatrists trying to treat him, and aliens trying to assimilate him are all the same thing. He doggedly makes it to the end of the pub crawl and confronts the alien overlord who tells him all the technological advancements of the past few decades - all the efficiency and homogenization that’ve changed the face of his home town - are their doing. The Information Age is an intervention on behalf of Earth, a pan-galactic effort to save humanity from itself. And the reason they’ve been replacing people with robots is some people are too fucked up to go along with it.

And here’s Gary, King of the Fuckups, brashly declaring that fucking up is what makes us human. There is no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life. We are endowed by our creator with the right to be drunken, ornery pieces of shit.

He tells the aliens to piss off and he’s so fucking annoying that they do, and they take the Information Age with them.

Now… I know… ugh… I know a lot of people love this movie, say it’s the best of the three. Some friends who’ve struggled with mental health or just being an adult under late capitalism really identify with Gary, and the valorization of being a mess. I see you, you’re not wrong, I get it, I really do. But can we just… not “but” but “also” can we… can we also admit that this ending is… this is Space Brexit.

Like, literally it’s an alien invasion but symbolically this is Gary rejecting the adult world of rules and authority and doing what’s best for the community and that’s how Brexiters view the EU. And people keep telling him “Gary, this is in your best interest” and Gary says, I don’t want my best interest! I am registered in the anti-Gary’s Face Party and I will cast my vote by cutting my nose! I choose to do what’s bad for me.

And, like a true Brexiter, he chooses for everybody.

Now tell me that’s a movie about growing up. Gary collapses human civilization in its entirety rather than change, and in the world that follows, he thrives… by being an immature, irresponsible bag of garbage.

To Wright and Pegg, growing up is death, and these are movies about being alive. These characters don’t cross the threshold back into the ordinary world with the ultimate boon of character growth; all three stay in the extraordinary world. The zombies remain, the robots remain, Nicholas is offered his London job back and chooses to stay in the country. These are stories about normal life spontaneously turning into a genre film, and they are made with deep love for those genres; why would they end with leaving those genres behind? Because it’s what Adam Sandler would do?

So there you have it. I rest my case.

“Okay Ian. Why does this matter?”

…what was that?

“You’ve made your point: these movies aren’t about growing up or taking responsibility. So what?”

Uhhhh.

“Bring it home for us.”

…

“Why do you care so much?

[breath]

I wrote the first draft of this script when I was around Shaun and Nicholas’ age, and “so what?” is why I shelved it. Now I’m Gary’s age, this video’s been in the back of my brain the whole time, but I got this far and “so what” is where I got stuck, again. This is why the CO-VIDs came out quicker, cuz I let myself end with “so that’s interesting!” and got on with my life. But there’s clearly something sticky here, more than “someone is wrong on the internet.” (Also, to the YouTubers I’m vaguebooking, who said these were movies about growing up - I’m way more annoyed at the folks I’ve argued with on Twitter about this, you just made a better rhetorical device; you do not owe me an apology!) (Also, to the commentariat: I am not extrapolating this from like two data points, this is chronic and recurring and has been bothering me for years.)

There are a few directions I could take this to give it some “cultural weight.” I could put on my social justice hat and talk about how the “crisis of adulthood” doesn’t play as broad comedy unless you look like Adam Sandler or Simon Pegg, or put on my class analysis hat and talk about how signifiers of adulthood are, traditionally, ways of spending and accruing capital which are, today, often inaccessible to people under 40.

And that’s all legit, but here’s the real deal: I’m just mad at Gary. The world changed around Shaun such that he could stay a child. And Nicholas ended up somewhere he could stay a child. If you missed that, you’re wrong, but whatever. But to say that Gary grew up grinds me, because Gary chose this. The whole movie is people telling him to grow up, and he says no! He says it out loud! He says it to the literal end of the world. To walk out of the theater and say “that’s a movie about growing up” is more than a mistake, it’s a refusal. It’s trying to “fix” the movie by fitting it into a more familiar shape, so it doesn’t say what it says, so Gary isn’t who he is, who he chooses to be.

I’m being cheeky when I say this because he’s a fictional character, but saying Gary grew up is enabling.

Gary says there’s no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life, which is the problem with alcoholics and libertarians: it’s not just your life, Gary! You live in a community, a culture, and an ecosystem! Your actions - everybody’s actions - impact other people! That’s just the way the world is! You can’t shit yourself at the bar without other people having to smell it. We’re all fuckin’ connected, man! You don’t want anyone’s will imposed on you; you spend the whole movie imposing your will on everyone else! You say humans don’t wanna be told what to do, and then you decide humanity’s future by yourself with no input or consent from anyone!

People point to Gary ordering water in the last scene instead of beer as evidence that he got sober, like that’s proof that he did grow up in the end, which are you fucking joking??? Getting sober is a shorthand for maturity the way buying a house is, it doesn’t signify anything in and of itself! Gary drank to escape the adult world of rules and responsibilities! So, yeah, under normal circumstances getting sober would mean he’s made peace with that world and is ready to integrate. But that’s not what happened! The thing he was escaping doesn’t exist anymore! He literally destroyed it!! People died! Probably millions! Now he lives a happy life LARPing as Omega Doom - no I don’t expect you to catch that reference! He doesn’t need to drink! He is literally reliving the best day of his life forever. And even if it did mean personal growth, the idea that a person could make what would be, unequivocally, the most selfish decision in human history, and then spend his life celebrating the outcome, oh but if he overcame a personal demon in the process then on balance that’s maturity? That is lightspeed solipsism! Who are you if you think that way? Are you all Adam Sandler???

And none of that makes this a bad ending, or Gary a bad character. I mean, he is the reason The World’s End is my least favorite, and I don’t like the ending, but I don’t think it’s bad that I don’t like the ending. Rather than watch another addict pull his life together or destroy himself, we watch a downward spiral with so much gravity the whole world self-destructs alongside him. And that’s why The World’s End is the most interesting of the three: it is a bold choice, and I think we are free to feel however we want about the conclusion Gary engineered for himself. I don’t think it’s valid to pretend it didn’t happen.

In the context of the trilogy, we see that Shaun’s immaturity is mostly a problem for Shaun: he would be, at worst, a footnote in the lives of the people who love him; “yeah, I liked Shaun a lot, but I couldn’t carry him through life anymore.” Nicholas is the kind of overachiever that is useful if pointed in the right direction; juvenile code of ethics aside, he is, empirically, helping the community (within the entirely fictional framework where that’s a thing police do). If the world hadn’t changed to turn their flaws into strengths, they would still be relatively harmless. Gary is what happens when immaturity isn’t harmless, and shows us how a world built by that immaturity would look.

There is an appeal to Gary King, a wish fulfillment. Letting your id fully off the leash because you no longer care what anybody thinks - it’s why some people drink, and it’s why some people would like to drink with Gary. But if that’s not just your Friday night, not just your twenties, but that’s your life? There is a destination at the end of that road, and it’s Gary doing something truly ugly. And we see that ugly thing the way Gary sees it: as awesome. But then you see the reality: the Monday morning after the Friday night. We went out with Gary and he did something terrible.

And I’m not telling you to hate Gary for it; I’m not saying Gary can’t be forgiven. In fact, seeing it for what it is is the only way Gary could be forgiven, because, if he “grew up and took responsibility,” there’s nothing to forgive.

I think this is the only way the trilogy could have ended. I mean, you make stories about boys who get older and older and don’t grow up, it eventually becomes a problem. There’s only two ways to resolve it: you either end with a guy actually sorting his shit out, or you go for broke and show what happens if he doesn’t. And I think some of us boys saw that and said, “no, noooo, they did grow up! all three of them!” rather than say, “haha! hahaaa! ……………shit.”

[autisticlancemcclain]

“The Exoxins are very…” Coran purses his lips, searching for the word. “Particular, let’s say.”

Hunk cocks his head. “In what way?”

“They’re quite fixated on personal appearances. They have been known to refuse alliances in the past when diplomats don’t meet their… aesthetic expectations.”

Before Keith can make a slightly mean joke about keeping Shiro on the castle, then (it’s been too long since he has been humbled), Lance snorts. Without bothering to look up from his doodling, half slumped over his station on the bridge, he says, “Well, we better send Keefers. Only way we’ll get a guaranteed alliance.”

“Okay, asshole, real funn — wait.” Keith blinks. That’s not the insult he thought it was. “Did you just — are you flirting with me?”

Lance flicks brown eyes up to meet his, eyebrows raised, amused smirk on his face. “Have been for a year now, thanks for noticing.”

Keith’s jaw drops. He feels a blush climbing up his neck like he’s a fuckin’ kettle, boiling from the bottom up, because what.

“What.”

“Keith.” The rampant redness on Keith’s face must give Lance pause, because he finally turns his whole attention towards him, straightening up from his seat and facing him head on. “I thought you were just ignoring me. You’re telling me your dumb ass has just been — what, completely oblivious to it?”

“I’m not obvious,” Keith argues, strained. He’s well aware of the snickering behind him and chooses to ignore it. “Usually your flirting is horrible and obnoxious and gets you rightfully punched, so excuse me for not noticing.” He waits a beat, and then tacks on, “Or tied to a tree.”

He’s gratified to see Lance’s smug demeanour crack at the mention of the Nyma incident.

“That was four years ago, dipstick. I was seventeen. It doesn’t take away from the fact that you are so thick headed that you are incapable of taking a hint. Did you think I kept finding reasons to be shirtless around you for fun?”

Keith sputters. He had noticed that Lance was shirtless around him an awful lot, but in his defence he was putting his braincells more towards memorizing a broad back and a glittering belly piercing rather than, like, puzzling out why the fuck Lance wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“I thought you were — hot, or something!”

Lance grins wolfishly. “You think I’m hot?”

“Go fuck yourself!”

“Is that what you want to see?”

Keith makes a hoarse screeching noise in the back of his throat. It is echoed behind him, by all of his friends, actually, but for entirely different reasons, and he hates them all and they are all written out of his will.

Lance slowly stands from his seat, soundlessly stalking over to where Keith stands, leaning against a wall. Keith considers braining himself against a hard surface so he does not half to deal with Lance stupid sexy leer and sparkling eyes et cetera.

“‘Cause if it is,” Lance murmurs, placing a hand next to Keith’s head and leaning in close, “all you had to do was ask, baby.”

“I am going to kill you with fire,” Keith croaks.

Lance chuckles. “Sure, caliente.” He kisses Keith’s cheek and saunters back to his chair. Keith considers asking his lions to help him change his bayard into an anvil and chucking it at Lance’s face. It does not help his situation.

“Well,” Coran says awkwardly, after what can only be several minutes of charged silence. “the good news is that if we send you both that alliance is as good as guaranteed.”

[squerlly]

Hi could you write for Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty and Alastor reacting to a Gen Z reader who knows how to dance really well to swing music from the 1920s/30s? Maybe Charlie hosts a party at the hotel and swing music is playing and the reader goes up to dance, and the hazbins don’t think too much of it since they think the reader is going to do some modern dance, and they’re all surprised by the reader busting out the Charleston and doing it perfectly.

this took a lot of research and a whole video BUT ask and you shall receive!!! (I deleted this write so many times by accident *cries*) also you didn't specify the readers gender so I just made the reader female.

-SFW- (f!reader)

charlie, vaggie, alastor, angel, husk, niffty

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie had recently told you about a party she was throwing to get more patrons to join the hotel and asked if you were going. happy to attend you bought a burgundy red cocktail dress with an off the shoulder neckline paired with black flats the day before. as the date of the party arrived you were rushing downstairs to catch up with the rest seeing people already swarming the snack table and bar as you head over were Charlie and vaggie were talking, hearing Charlie talk excitedly to vaggie about the amount of guests. "calm down hun" vaggie said putting her hand on charlies shoulder before spotting you "hi y/n-" "y/n!!!" Charlie said squealing as she gave you a bear hug, "Charlie your crushing me" "sorry, you look amazing!!!!" "thank you Charlie", were are the others?" "well husks at the bar, and angels being......well angel" she says pointing at angel who was flirting with another demon near the bar "alastors Satan knows were and nifftys out killing bugs-" "did somebody call my name?" a familiar radio voice called from behind you "hey Al" "hello my dear might I say you look wonderful" "thanks AL I tried not to overdress" "nonsense dear you dressed perfect for such occasion" smiling you walk over to were angel was flirting with the demon "hey babes lookin good" "thanks angel you look good as always" "of course I do, gotta look good for any extra cash if you know what I mean" angel says as he puffs up his chest fluff. rolling your eyes you suddenly hear music playing from the 1920s. you ask angel to dance but he declines "no thanks babes, but you go ahead if ya want" angel said before he walks over to the bar as you walk to the dance floor, as angel askes husk for a drink husk talks "your gonna let her make a fool of herself?" "shell be fineee, loosen up a bit would ya husky and pour me a drink while your at it" angel watches as you run up to the dance floor with the small few demons dancing, swaying to the rhythm of the music you sway your hands to match your feet, twisting a twirling with every beat of the music. as angel grabs another sip of his drink he quickly spits it out as he watched you dance "wha- were did she learn that!" "well ill be dammed" husk chuckles as he cleans another glass watching you dance, your lively energy being almost infectious as you bring more people on the dance floor. seeing all of the commotion vaggie looks seeing you dance "is that-" "y/n!!!!!?" Charlie says as her jaw drops, alastor wondering what's happening turns to see you dancing with the other demon "my I would have never guessed our dear y/n would know how to dance to such music" he says adjusting his monocle "it almost warms my cold heart to see" "ohh what's going on!" alastor looks down to see niffty looking around, "ooo that looks funn" she says before running up to you as you grab her hands to join you, twisting and twirling her making her giggle. back at the bar angel finishes his last glass "ya know husky that actually looks fun, wanna dance~" "I don't dance" "aww c'mon husky dance with me" "no!" "your loss" angel says before joining you. back with Charlie and vaggie, Charlie stands exited "lets join them vaggie!!!" she says dragging vaggie to the dance floor "slow down hun!" she says stumbling as they all join in to dance. alastors sitting and watching from afar with his classic toothy smile, almost genuine as he sees you all enjoying yourselves. alastors talking to husk says "good to know some people can still be lively in the underworld hmm old friend" "yeah whatever" husk growls as he secretly enjoys watching everyone have fun.

I cant thank you guys enough for all of these lovely requests I cant wait to finish them all, this one was so fun to make, I hope you all enjoyed this request!!!

-squerlly

[pathetichimbos]

hiiiii

was wondering if you’d like 2 do a quick “where is she” type hurt&comfort prompt with thomas and/or bo!! maybe some victim vs slasher action thatd be funn

Includes: Thomas Hewitt / F!Reader

SFW

TW: Hurt / Comfort / Reader is kidnapped under false pretenses of being 'saved' / Their slasher bf does Not Like That / Canon Typical Violence

…

Hi! Thank you for sending in this ask and I hope you're doing very well.

This... Did not turn out to be a quick drabble, haha. I, as usual, got carried away. When I checked the page count I was at 12 pages and had only written Thomas' part, so there's that. I don't want to overload in one post, or keep you waiting any longer, and I'm currently struggling to write Bo's part at the moment, so I'm going to post Tommy's part for now and update this later with Bo. I welcome any pointers for his character, by the way, I've never written for him lol. Anyways... I hope y'all enjoy!

Quick side note: I just recently reached 300 followers!! Yay!! I'm so excited and happy that you guys enjoy my work <3 I'm going to try and start writing more often so please, send in all your requests! Thank y'all for taking the time to read my stories and follow me, it means the world to me.

Thomas Hewitt:

The Texas air was hot and heavy, as it was in most August days, weighing everything from the birds to the pigs down, not much of anything caring to move about in this heat. Even Hoyt elected to take the day off, currently lounging about on the front porch, beer in hand. Though that wasn't too unusual, at least now he had somewhat of an excuse.

Luda Mae was in town, running the store, today being one of those rare days where she took Monty with her so he could “get his stinkin' ass out of the house”, as she had so graciously put it.

Not even Thomas had a lot to do today, so the two of you were taking advantage of that, currently set up on the living room couch.

You were sitting on the back of the couch, with Thomas situated between your legs, mask off and hair down so you could properly comb through it.

It was late morning by this point, so the strongest wave of heat hadn't come through yet, and you had all the windows open to try and keep the air flowing through the house before it did.

The radio played an old song from its corner, echoing a woman's voice throughout the living room. You hummed along, gently separating another section of hair and spraying a light mist of water over it with a spray bottle so you could carefully brush it without hurting your husband.

Thomas currently had his head leaning against your thigh, partly to give your more access to that side of his head, and partly because he was dozing off from the mix of humming and having you gently work through the knots in his dark curly hair.

You finished brushing out that section, running your fingers from his roots to the tips a couple of time to be sure, before pulling it to the side to place in a loose ponytail with the rest of his untangled hair.

You could start feel the soft, deep rumble as Thomas began to snore, and let out a soft laugh.

He had a habit of falling asleep every-time you brushed his hair, enjoying the close contact and the chance to take his mask off and let his skin breathe.

You let out a soft hum and bent down to place a kiss on his head, rubbing your thumb along his cheekbone as you did.

You pulled back and continued to work, putting in even more effort to be gentle and soft as to not wake him. You carefully moved his head to your other thigh and began to brush the other side of his head, the brush easily combing through the knots, a stark contrast from when you initially started brushing his hair for him a few months ago.

After another fifteen minutes or so, you were finished, and pulled his hair together to give it a final brush through before setting the water bottle and brush to the side, sitting up straight to stretch your back and arms.

Thomas was still gently snoring, face pressed against your inner thigh as he continued his midday nap. You didn't really have the heart to wake him, but your ass was starting to fall asleep and hurt from sitting on the hard surface of the back of the couch, and it was getting close to time to start on lunch.

You let your hands run down his hair and to his shoulders, giving them a gentle but firm rub as you planted a kiss on his temple, speaking softly, “Tommy, baby, wake up. I'm all done.”

Despite what most people would assume, Thomas wasn't too much of a heavy sleeper, especially when he was on the couch, and that little bit was just enough to stir him awake.

He sucked in a shallow breath and let out a yawn, stretching his arms under your legs before hooking them over your thighs, letting his head fall back to look up at you with a sleepy smile.

“Good morning.” You joked with a smile of your own.

He hummed a bit and leaned over, pressing a kiss to your thigh.

“I've gotta start on lunch soon.”

He shut his eyes and let out a soft grunt of disapproval.

“Mhm.” You hummed back, running a hand through his hair again, “And then I've gotta--”

You were cut short by the rigid sound of the telephone ringing from the table behind you.

You sighed and reached around, pulling the base up and into to your lap.

“Hello?” You answered, holding the receiver with your shoulder while you idly played with Thomas' hair.

“Y/N? Could you put Hoyt on?” Luda Mae responded, skipping a greeting as she always did. After all, she's calling her own house, why should she have to say hello?

“'Course, Mama, lemme call for him.” You agreed, covering the receiver with your hand before yelling, “Hoyt, it's for you!”

No response.

“Hoyt?”

Nothing.

“Hoyt!”

Typical.

You reached down and tapped Thomas' shoulder, catching his attention, “Tommy will you go grab Hoyt? I think he's passed out in the rocker out front.”

He let out a disgruntled sigh but stood up, reluctantly sulking out the front door.

“Thomas is goin' to get him now, Mama, I think he fell asleep on the porch again.” You explained into the phone.

“Alright.” She sighed, “Just tell him to hurry up.”

After a few moments you could hear Hoyt yell from the front porch, followed by him stumbling in, still half asleep, with Thomas in tow.

“Phone.” You set the base back down and held out the phone for him to take.

“Who is it?” He slurred out, yet still grabbed the phone.

“It's Mama.”

“What the hell does she want?” He grumbled, before repeating the question to her, “What the hell do you want?”

You silently ushered Thomas over and grabbed his mask before standing straight on the couch to help him put it back on. It wasn't your favorite thing, having your husband hide half of his face, but Hoyt was awfully mean when he was drunk and it made Tommy feel more secure.

“Uh-huh. Alright. Yea. Yea. I'll be there in 'bout half an hour.” You could hear Hoyt finish mumbling and hang up the phone behind you before much too loudly announcing, “Thomas, get ready, we got supper comin' in down at the store!”

Thomas and you both let out a sigh. Well, looks like your day off was cut short.

There was a routine in place for days like these and falling into it was rather easy. You were placed on Hoyt duty, meaning you had to get his sheriff uniform ready to go and Hoyt sobered up enough to drive, and Thomas had to prepare the basement for the arrival of new guests, to put it delicately.

The two of you set to work, Thomas planting a quick kiss to your lips before tucking himself away in the basement, and you sat Hoyt down with a plate of carbs and a large glass of water to try and sober him while you tracked down everything he needed.

By the time you finished finding all of the things he carelessly threw around from the day before, he had sobered up enough that you deemed him safe enough to leave the house.

You assumed you had quite sometime before Hoyt would make it back, so you decided you'd take the time to get a few chores done beforehand, even though you knew it would upset Thomas if he found out.

It was his request that you stay in your shared room when Hoyt brought any new victims home, always worried that something would happen.

Normally, you listened to him, but the longer you waited the more chores would pile up. Besides, it would just take a few minutes.

You started with the dishes from breakfast, what with it being a lazy day and all, you figured you could do them at lunch instead. You had a couple of other things to clean up in the kitchen and finished it off with gathering the trash to take it out on your way to feed some leftover slop to the pigs.

Only an hour and a half. You smiled to yourself as you checked the wall clock, happy that you finished the chores so fast.

You dropped off the bag in the can by the back door and dumped the leftovers into the slop bucket that you kept beside it and made the short walk to the small barn out back where the pigs stayed, passing the chicken coop on the way.

The small pink pigs squealed with delight when they saw you approach, having gotten used to either you or Thomas being the ones to bring them food.

They gathered around the long feed trout that was set up in their pen, happily squealing in anticipation as you dropped the spoiled leftovers into their pen, each of them happily chowing down on the food. You kneeled down and patted one of their backs, one of the females, if her large, very obvious pregnant belly gave any clue. Tommy had noticed a while back that she was pregnant, and you gave extra care in keeping an eye on her.

You cooed after her, ushering her to eat all she could for her and her little babies, gently rubbing her back as she ate.

You sat up after a moment, stretching your back again before standing up and grabbing the slop bucket to carry back to the house.

You cringed when you picked it up, however, this time catching a whiff of the moldy food that caked the sides. Apparently it had been a while since the bucket was washed out.

You carried it out of the barn and to the side where one of the outside hoses sat, turning on the creaky faucet to wash out the bucket.

It was a messy job, and by the end of it, the dirt you once stood on was now mud and your shirt was soaked with a large splash of water. At least it helped cool you down a bit, being out in the heat like this was exhausting and you were already sweating.

You turned the faucet off and shook the bucket out a bit more before the sound of running footsteps caught your attention.

You turned back to the house, only to see a young man you didn't know running straight for you.

You jumped at the sight, taking a step back out of surprise and fear. However, when you did, your shoe hit the mud and you slipped, landing clear on your back and knocking the breath out of you.

You tried to take in a sharp gasp of air, only to be met with pain coursing from your spine to your chest, making it tighten.

You sat up, grasping at your chest and trying to breathe, tears streaming down your face, all while the man finally reached you.

“Hey, hey--!” He called out in a loud whisper, shaking as fear lined his voice and filled his wide eyes.

You shook your head no, pushing yourself back and away from him.

“No, no, it's okay, it's okay,” He raised his hands as he kneeled down, “I-I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm gonna help, I'm gonna help.”

You continued shaking your head and pushing away, desperately trying to breathe so you could scream for Thomas.

He ignored your obvious attempts to get away from him, and grabbed your arm, pulling you up and towards the back of the barn. You finally managed to pull in your first breath, coughing as he continued yanking on your wrist, practically dragging you across the dirt and grass.

There was a second door in the back and he found it easily, pushing you into the barn and towards the ladder to the loft where the hay was kept.

The pigs squealed in surprise, running around in their pen in distress as you tried to fight against the stranger.

“Stop! Leave me alone!” You pushed and pulled against his grip as he tried to shove you up the ladder.

“No, it's okay, I-I'm not one of them, I'm not gonna hurt you--” He ignored your pleas as he spoke over you, “I'm gonna help, I'm gonna help--”

You could feel the old creaky wood bend and groan against your back as he shoved you into the ladder repeatedly, trying to force you up there.

Sharp pain shot through your elbow as it slammed into the wall, finally managing to get your wrist out of his grip.

You ignored the pulsing and shoved him back, freezing when Hoyt's revolver fell from the man's pants.

You thought about diving for it, but he was faster, his hands in the air as he knelt down to pick it up.

“No, don't, don't worry, I- I'm not going to hurt you, I got this, before I ran--” He grabbed the gun and shoved it back into his jeans, “I won't hurt you, I promise.”

How stupid could this man be? Did he still not get it yet?

You were shaking, your racing heart almost loud enough to cover up the sounds of the pigs fearful squeals and Thomas' chainsaw echoing back from the front yard.

There was no way he'd hear you, not all the way back here, and definitely not in time.

You took a shaky breath and silently cursed yourself for reloading that same pistol before sending Hoyt off just earlier today.

Your mind started racing as you tried to think of a plan, your hands grasping at the air, looking him up and down.

He was on the younger side, early twenties at most, splashes of blood covering his open red button up and gray t-shirt. He was blond, making his light five o'clock shadow almost hard to see against his tan skin. His brown eyes were puffy and red, practically shaking with fear, his chest heaving and fists curled at his side.

“We, we've got to hide--” He took two bold steps towards you, “Before they come looking for us.”

You pressed yourself harder against the ladder as he did, taking in a shaky breath and nodding. He didn't know who you were, and you needed to keep it that way until you could escape.

You turned around to face the ladder, the old wood creaking under your weight as you climbed up, pushing the thick wooden door open with a thud before climbing in.

The scratchy hay dug into your knees and hands as you crawled further into the loft, giving the man room to climb in right behind you.

He immediately shut the small door and looked around, “We should put something heavy on the door.”

“B-But what if we need to get out quickly?” You countered, not wanting to make it harder to get out.

“It'll make it harder for them to get in.” He ignored your input and walked over to the nearest bale of hay, “We need to keep them out.”

You watched helplessly as he struggled to drag the heavy bale across the dusty wooden loft, finally falling down with a thud after he managed to cover the door.

“We can wait here until we get a chance to escape.” He crawled his way over to sit beside you, still shaking but seemingly calmer than before.

He swallowed and took in heavy breaths, trying to process the last few hours in his mind as you silently begged whatever god that was willing would help you get out of this alive.

You could've practically jump for joy when the familiar sound of a idling chainsaw and heavy footsteps against the barn floor became apparent against the calming squeals of the pigs down below.

You could almost feel the man tense beside you as he started shaking his head, quietly pushing himself away from the bale of hay that covered the loft door.

“No, no, no, no...” He mumbled to himself quietly, covering his own mouth as he pressed himself into the old wall of the barn.

You looked to the floor, Tommy's footsteps slowly circling around the barn, and felt a firm grip on your arm as the man quietly pulled you back with him.

“Shhhh.” He pressed a finger to his lips and pulled out the revolver, looking back to the bale.

It was your turn to shake your head, lifting your hands as you spoke, “No, no, it's okay, don't--”

He slapped his hand over your mouth as the footsteps stopped.

Thomas looked up, to the loft.

He could've sworn he heard a woman's voice, even over the anxious pig's squeals.

He gripped the chainsaw tighter, confusion overcoming him.

The victim Hoyt sent him after was a man, so, did that mean there were two of them? Had Hoyt somehow overlooked an extra person? It wasn't completely uncommon for him to make such a mistake.

He stayed silent, listening. There were no more sounds now.

He took a step towards the ladder, noticing the mud marks leading in from the open back door, even against the ladder.

The chainsaw weighed heavy in his hands, send vibrations through his fingers as he readjusted it to hold it in one hand.

He grabbed the ladder with his now free hand, the ladder creaking loudly under his weight as he took a couple of steps up, positioning the chainsaw to press against the door.

It didn't budge, so he squeezed the trigger, the chainsaw revving up and cutting through the old wood with ease.

He pressed further, the spinning chain suddenly flinging wood chips and hay back at his face with enough force to actually leave some small scratches on his exposed cheekbones.

He ignored it and moved the chainsaw in different directions, cutting at the hay bale that was apparently left on top to deter him.

Within a few seconds he was able to use the base of the chainsaw to get enough leverage to sling what was left of the door open, the remaining hay flinging to the side with ease.

He pushed himself up, grabbing a hold of the side of the loft's floor to help him balance as he pulled himself up with enough force so he wouldn't get caught off-guard by the two victims undoubtedly waiting for him.

His chainsaw slammed on the loft floor, still rumbling in idle as he stepped into the loft, deep brown eyes darting to the man sitting across from him, to the gun pointed directly at him.

He ignored the threat as he stood up straight, chainsaw tight in his grip.

“Don't come any closer!” His voice was unsteady, his hands shaking.

He took a step.

“S-Stop!” He stuttered over himself, thumb slipping more than once as he pulled the hammer down.

Thomas listened this time, staring the man down.

“Drop the chainsaw.” The man ordered, “Now!” His voice cracked.

Thomas did as he was told, the chainsaw hitting the floor with a loud thud.

“O-Okay, now grab it!” Thomas could hear the floorboards creak as the second victim walked up behind him.

His hand flexed as the footsteps stopped.

He could use her, as leverage, even a shield. All she had to do was reach for it. The moment she did he could grab her.

His eyes darted right and he saw dirty, shaky hands grab the handle.

His hand shot out, catching her with force as he turned.

You screamed, out of surprise and pain as Thomas gripped your wrist with enough force to bruise it.

Confused eyes met yours as he stared, his strong hold loosening out of reflex.

“Let her go!” The man yelled from beside you two, still pointing the gun at your husband.

He did.

He pulled back, fear and hurt in his eyes as he tried to figure out why you were here.

You hated yourself as you picked the chainsaw up, heavy in your grip as you dragged it away from him.

You walked closer to the man, the chainsaw sending vibrations through your hands and to your arms, turning them to jelly. You were unfamiliar with handling the large tool, only ever using it once before when Thomas had taught you how.

The man hurried to stand, still pointing the gun at Thomas.

“H-Here.” You offered, pushing it out to him, “I don't even know how to use this thing, I'll end up hurting myself.”

The man nodded, falling for your lie, “Okay, then you take this,” He shoved the gun towards you, “I can handle that thing.”

You switched weapons, Hoyt's gun feeling much easier to handle in your hands.

It wasn't light, the weapon weighing heavy in your hands as you slammed the butt of it against the man's head, a few drops of blood splattering against your hands and face as he hit the floor.

You turned to Tommy, letting the gun hit the floor as you let out a heavy, shaking sigh.

“Thomas--” You stepped over the man's unconscious body, arms wide as you threw yourself at your husband.

He met you halfway and slung his thick arms around you, clinging to you as he crushed you against his body.

You choked on a sob as you buried your face in his neck, hot tears streaming down your face out of relief.

He pushed his masked cheek against your head, pressing a kiss to your mud caked hair, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to steady his breath.

He had been ridiculed, relentlessly beaten by bullies, threatened by coworkers, attacked by victims and almost killed dozens of times, but nothing compared to the fear he had when he saw you in that loft.

He couldn't understand why you were there. Had you randomly changed your mind and decided to leave him? After so long? Were you taken against your will, threatened and forced to do these things? Were you hurt, scared, afraid for your life while he was off doing what Hoyt told him to? What would've happened if he hadn't shown up? Did he scare you, or hurt you?

You pulled back just enough to place your hands on his cheeks, Thomas holding you up as you pulled him into a kiss.

You opened your mouth and he deepened the kiss, your hands snaking around his neck and trying to pull him even closer while teeth clashed and tongues fought to explore each other's mouths like teenagers sharing their first kiss.

You sighed through your nose, pressing your forehead to his as you pulled back to look at him.

“I'm so sorry.” You whispered, “I didn't think he'd be back so soon, I- I thought I had more time...”

His brown eyes were filled with fear and relief, feeling like he had almost lost you.

You cupped his masked cheek, letting your eyes flutter shut as you finally felt safe again.

It was a long time before Thomas let you out of his sight after that. He was glued to your side, overprotective and worried for months to come.

You often caught him staring at your deeply bruised wrist while it healed, angry and ashamed that he hurt you.

You constantly reassured him that you weren't angry at him, or scared that he'd do it again. He treated you like glass long after it healed, gentle and afraid, like you'd break into a million pieces if he didn't take extra care in his touches.

Needless to say, it took months before life went back to normal for you two, but after that, anytime any victims were expected, the first thing he did was safely tuck you away in your shared room before anything else.

[valiantphantomangel]

Hi since you’re not doing headcanons could you please do a fic of damon finding out human!reader is ticklish after they've been annoying him

Never mess with an ancient vampire

A/n: I hope you like it!!

"Damon" no answer

"Damon" no answer again

"Damon" you can guess it

"WHAT is so important that you have to torture my ears?" Said that person as he turned around and glared at where your sitting on the counter.

"Did you know that you're considered antique by your age?"

Damon let out an annoyed growl and turned back to making pancakes.

"Damon, Damon Damon"

"I swear to god, what do you want now!"

"How does it feel to be older then a lot of dictators?"

"That's it" he growled before stalking towards you and grabbing your waist to lift you up.

You let out an embarrassingly loud squeal when he accidentally squeezed your sides before looking at him with wide eyes.

Damon was looking at you, like a predator finding its prey, his infamous smirk on his lips "Oh your dead" he said and yeeted you onto a couch nearby.

You landed with a soft groan and immediately scrabbled off of the couch, but just as you rolled off you were picked up and pinned down.

"Oh no no no, your not getting away that easy sweetie" he said with a smirk as he sat on your thighs and looked down at you.

Slowly he started to trace your ribs through your tanktop that you wore with some sleep shorts, teasingly spidering his fingers ever so lightly over your ribs and sides.

You sucked in your belly and let out a nervous giggle, you hands shooting out to protect your tummy.

He easily caught them and pulled your wrists to his chest.

"Now what am I going to do with you, because knowing you your devastatingly ticklish" Damon said nonchalant as he put his hand over your belly button. Ready to attack.

"How about you let me go?" You said nervously.

"Let me think about that... How about no" he grinned before suddenly letting go off your wrists and attacking your sides.

You screech with laughter like a banshee and bucked your hips up to throw him off, but of course that didn't do much.

"What could possibly be so funn, stop laughing I'm trying to ask you something!" His right hand switched to your hip while the other continued it's war path over your tummy.

"GAHHAHHAHA YOUHAHHAH ASSHIHIHIH" you screamed through your laughter.

"Damm I knew you were sensitive but I've never met someone this ticklish" Damon laughed with you as he continued to constantly switch places.

He leaned forward and blew a raspberry on your belly button and ghost tickled your sides "Nom nom nom"

"SCREWHIHIHI YOUHAHHAHA" your cheeks were red and your face hurt from smiling so much.

Eventually when he noticed that your laughter turned silent he let up and looked down at you "Now what have we learned?"

"Not to mess with you" you say after you caught your breath.

"Or pay the consequences" Damon said with a smirk before standing up and walking back to the kitchen, where of course a pancake had somehow caught fire.

He ran around with the pan before dropping it in a large vase and muttered something along the lines "I'll blame Stefan"

You lay laughing as you watched him and even though he now knew your strongest weakness, you couldn't wish for a better best friend.

[yukiokami]

my tears ricochet

treech x female 7th district reader

warnings: no use of y/n, third-person narrative, angst, headcanons (9th hunger games winner, treech's family), l-bombs, violence, deaths.

summary: she did everything to prevent him from losing her too, eventually losing him herself.

word count: 859

author's note: my first time writing on tumblr, i had a huge wave of inspiration after listening to sad songs and watching edits of treech. english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes. this is a songfic to my tears ricochet by taylor swift. enjoy, loves.

her name was pulled. among hundreds of others. everything around her is in slow motion, she doesn't hear anything, doesn't see her mother's frightened eyes. she only notices treech's hand rising, he is now ready to volunteer, so she wouldn't be taken to the games. she manages to grab him with both hands and whispers, calming herself rather than him.

"it's going to be okay, i'll be fine, treech."

he shakes his head in disbelief. she can't leave him, leave her mom. die.

and she doesn't understand how she can cope. this is not a self-preservation instinct. it's an instinct to save those she cares about.

"listen, aspen is going to be with me. you can't come with me, please, i can't stand it if you die."

"i can't stand it if you die!" he repeats after her. "i can't lose you!" treech breaks down, despite the huge crowd.

burning tears flow down her cheeks, blurring the dirt on her face, and leaving long streaks.

"that's why i'm not going to die," she looks at him, reassuring. "i'm not going to die, treech. please take care of mom," she says when the peacekeepers grab her when they hold on to each other with the last of their strength.

cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

till my dying day

"i love you, okay? forever," their hands separate and soldiers drag the girl to the stage.

"let her go!" treech hisses, trying to fight the soldiers who are holding him tightly from running after her.

the doors close and she hears him scream.

we gather here, we line up,

weepin' in a sunlit room

when the counter counts down the seconds before the games begin, she can't think, there's a white noise in her head. there are no places to hide in the huge arena. here you can only fight and try to survive. she needs to survive because they are waiting for her at home. treech has no one but her. his parents died in a forest fire, as did her father.

and if I'm on fire,

you'll be made of ashes, too

she starts running towards the center with all her strength and grabs an axe, while two tributes attack two more. they die in seconds. she backs away and a guy from district 4 grazes her arm with a sword, trying to pierce it. she turns around and stabs him in the head with an axe.

the games lasted for several hours, the remaining three tributes, including her, are sitting on opposite sides of the arena, exhausted. aspen was killed by a girl from district 9.

and she's just waiting for the attack.

and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

this is not a victory, but a simple accident. but it doesn't matter now, because she's going home.

we gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

they are sitting by a small lake, throwing stones into it, which leaves circles, a month after the hunger games. they devote all their time to each other, and treech is insanely happy that she is with him, that she is alive. she didn't leave him.

"soon I'll earn a lot of money and buy us a house, and we will live there. just the two of us. and then I'll buy you a diamond ring and we'll get married," treech often voiced his thoughts, to which she always laughed and said that they would have to work very hard.

and when you can't sleep at night

(you hear my stolen lullabies)

at night, she was tormented by terrible nightmares that she was back in the arena, she was shaking and nothing could help but funny songs sung to her by her beloved lumberjack in a hat, wrapping her in a warm blanket by his embrace and words about how brave she is.

when his name is pulled at the next reaping, she can't breathe. this just can't be happening. they've been through so much together that they've been torn apart again. she's broken up by games. killed by the reaping. at that carefree time, treech guessed that such an outcome could take place, so he was ready. as much as it was possible.

"you were able to come back to me, and i will do everything to come back to you," he strokes her cheek with one hand, and with the other he puts a ring in her deathly cold ones. "i love you."

the peacekeepers take him away.

she falls to her knees and a frantic scream pierces the entire square.

when the neighbors talk about tributes returning, she joyfully runs to meet treech, confident of his victory. there are two coffins at the square, in one of which lies lamina, and in the other her brave beautiful boy. he didn't come back to her.

you know I didn't want to have to haunt you

but what a ghostly scene

you wear the same jewels that I gave you

as you bury me

[drabbles-mc]

At Least

Greg House x James Wilson

Written for the 2024 Hurt/Comfort Exchange!

Warnings: 18+, drug use

Words: 2.4k

A/N: wrote this for an exchange and i finally get to post it here! if there are any house md fanfic readers on tumblr, i hope you enjoy! 🫡

“So no one has heard from House?” Wilson asked as he stood in the doorway of the lab.

Everyone was shaking their heads, giving their version of, “No,” as an answer. None of them were looking at him at first, though, too wrapped up in the tests that they were doing. It wasn’t until Foreman realized that Wilson was still lingering in the doorway that he looked away from what he was actually doing. He still didn’t say anything, instead just giving Wilson a pointed look, eyebrows raised.

Wilson took the cue. “And that wasn’t concerning to…anyone?”

Foreman laughed, one that was more cruel than it was humorous. “Why would it be concerning? When is House not avoiding doing work at all costs? Why do you think we’re all here and he’s not?”

Wilson was trying not to take the bait, trying to keep his voice even. “But you haven’t heard anything? Not even a phone call just to distract you?”

“Nothing,” Foreman confirmed with a shake of his head.

Wilson sighed. “Right.”

He wanted to have more to say, but he came up empty. Instead, he finally turned and headed back out the door to leave the rest of them to their work. Work that House had assigned to them and not bothered to follow up on. That was as strange as any of it. Even if he didn’t really care how the patient was doing, even if he knew in the back of his head that his team wouldn’t have an answer yet, he’d still follow-up. Most times he did it just to chastise them, but it was still a follow-up. The silence was making Wilson uneasy.

The rest of House’s team was going to be trapped in the lab for the foreseeable future, no matter how late it was. Wilson wasn’t resigned to the same fate, though. He promptly headed back to his office to grab his jacket and the rest of his things, and then started for the parking lot to leave. There was a split second when he got into his car when he lied to himself, told himself that he was going home. But once he got to the first stoplight, he knew that he had to give up the act. Throwing his directional on, he turned and started to make his way towards House’s place.

He saw the motorcycle parked out front and that gave him a tiny shred of comfort. At least he was probably home. Once he found a spot to park his car, Wilson quickly made his way towards House’s front door. He was digging his keys out as he walked, but he still stopped at the door and knocked out of courtesy. Something House wouldn’t know anything about.

After a second round of knocking Wilson used his key. He announced himself as he pushed the door open. “Let the record show that I did try knocking.”

He walked deeper inside, looking at the living room as he did. Nothing really seemed out of place. There were a couple takeout boxes on the table, but that was about as normal as it got with him. The television was on, the volume low but still audible. The frown on Wilson’s face grew deeper as he continued to wind his way from one room to the next. When he didn’t see House in the kitchen he knew that there was only one place that he would likely be, and Wilson was afraid of what he might be walking into.

The bathroom door was ajar, and he could see the light creeping out through the gap. He found himself taking deep breaths as he got closer. He was trying to steady himself, prepare himself for whatever might be on the other side of the door. He reached forward, resting his fingertips against the door, ready to push it open. Instead, he pulled his hand back, closing it into a fist, raising it getting ready to knock.

“Don’t you dare knock on that door,” House called out from the other side, voice raspy with pain and exhaustion.

The breath that Wilson let out turned into something that almost resembled a laugh. Nothing about the situation was funny, per se, but there was humor to be found in the relief. The lack of House’s incessant childlike behavior and sarcasm were what alerted Wilson’s concern in the first place. To hear it, even if he was on the receiving end of it, was a relief. Nothing could ever be simple with House.

Wilson pushed the door open to find House sitting on the floor. He was contorted in a way that didn’t look like it could be comfortable at all.  But then again, House lived in discomfort, so he wondered if the bizarre position on the floor really made anything that much worse.

There was a sheen of sweat across House’s forehead, the collar of his t-shirt slightly darker than the rest of the fabric from the sweat on his neck. He was leaning back against the side of the tub, one arm braced against the toilet bowl’s edge.

“So you at least heard me knocking at the front door, then,” Wilson said as he stepped into the bathroom.

“Yeah,” House winced as he tried to shift positions, “and I didn’t answer. Most people would take that as a hint to go away.”

“Most people,” Wilson walked and crouched down in front of him, “wouldn’t be wondering if you were dead or just on a bender in here.”

House lifted his hands lamely in lieu of not wanting to expend the energy to hold his arms out. “Not dead.”

“I see that.” Wilson looped his arm underneath House’s, getting himself ready to bring House back up to his feet. “Doesn’t even look like a fun bender, either.”

House managed a chuckle as Wilson practically dragged him up to his feet. He tried to use his good leg to assist, but the drugs had him strung out in a way that even when he was trying to help it wasn’t doing either of them much good.

“It was fun at first,” House said when the two of them were finally, somewhat safely, upright. “I don’t know how we ended up here.”

“Imagine that,” Wilson said, sarcasm coating each word, “having a hard time remembering things while you’re on drugs.”

“I’m on drugs all the time and my memory is fantastic.”

Wilson knew better than to give House the debate that he was looking for but he still did. That was always the crux of their relationship—Wilson knowing better but giving in to House anyway. “You’re not on these drugs all the time.”

“You don’t even know—”

“Oh come on,” Wilson said, exasperated as they crossed the threshold into House’s bedroom. “Don’t give me that. Like I don’t know.”

“That why you came over. You just knew?”

Wilson plopped House down on the edge of his bed rather unceremoniously. Wilson wanted to be childish, to turn this back on House. He wanted to flip the script, tell House that now he was the one who knew exactly why things were happening, why they were in the situation that they were. It was worry, of course. There was always going to be worry. But there was something else too. That was the part that House knew but never talked about.

“Your team said it had been a suspiciously long time since you last harassed them,” Wilson said instead. “Figured I should stop by. Not often you give up the opportunity to be a giant pain in their ass.”

House chuckled because he knew that Wilson was right. The two of them sat on the edge of House’s bed for a moment, close enough for the outsides of their legs to be pressed against each other. Wilson had his hands clasped in his lap, head hung low as he studied the way his fingers were interlocked. It wasn’t anything interesting but it kept him from staring intensely at the man sitting on the bed beside him.

He wasn’t looking at Wilson either, not at first. His gaze was completely focused on the floor beneath their feet. He felt him starting to lean too far forward, and while he knew that Wilson would catch him if he went too far, he managed to catch himself first. His hands landed just above his knees, fingers gripping and arms locking out just in time. It kept him from falling, and the feeling of his fingers slipping between the outside of his thigh and the outside of Wilson’s got Wilson to turn and look at him.

Wilson almost pulled away out of reflex but then he remembered where they were. What would the point of it have been? He cleared his throat, looking back and forth between House’s face and his hand. “Did it help, at least?”

House scoffed, giving a small shake of his head. “Yeah, I’m cured. That’s why you had to pick me up off the bathroom floor and drag me across my apartment.”

Wilson rolled his eyes before letting his gaze drop back down to his hands in his lap again. “No, I had to pick you up off the bathroom floor because you’re strung out on drugs. I meant did it at least help with the pain? At all?”

“Why? If I say yes are you going to give me a pass to do—”

“I’m asking because, surprisingly, for some reason unknown to me or anyone on the face of this planet, I care about what happens to you. I care even if you don’t.”

House’s expression sobered up for a moment even if the rest of him didn’t. Sighing, he said, “It’s already coming back.” He saw the wounded puppy-dog look in Wilson’s eyes and he knew that he was in no place for whatever platitudes he was about to get hit with. Stopping them before they started, he switched up his tone and said, “The high was fun for a while, though.”

It worked. Wilson’s shoulders dropped and so did the topic. Placing his hands on the edge of the mattress, Wilson stood up off the bed and started walking towards the bedroom door without another word.

House wouldn’t really be able to blame him for leaving. He wasn’t giving Wilson any reason to think that he wanted him to stay. Still, despite all of that, he called after him, “Just going to go, then?”

Wilson shook his head but didn’t turn around. “Wouldn’t make it that easy for you.”

House watched until he’d disappeared out of sight. With a deep sigh and more effort than it maybe should’ve taken, he shimmied himself farther back onto the bed. He didn’t put the effort in to get under the covers, but just being able to sink back down against the pillows was a relief. His leg being welcomed by the soft mattress instead of the hard tile floor of his bathroom was another bonus, too.

When Wilson walked back into the bedroom, he had a glass of water in one hand while he was loosening his tie with the other. He handed the glass of water to House, pulling his tie off over his head once he had both hands free. He tossed it off to the side before undoing the top two buttons on his shirt.

“Water with no pills to wash down?” House goaded.

Wilson raised his eyebrows as he undid the buckle of his belt. “I don’t think you need to be taking anything else at this point. No more washing down. Just worry about,” he gestured vaguely, “washing out.”

House had to chuckle quietly at that. He took a sip from the glass in his hands as he watched Wilson set his belt out of the way too once he’d removed it. He sat down on House’s side of the bed before leaning down to untie his shoes—small comforts but nothing large like having clothes there to change into or borrowing anything of House’s. Once they were off he sighed and got up to walk around to the other side of the bed. It was his side but neither of them ever really called it that. He sank down on the mattress and mirrored House’s position—not under the covers but still slouched back against the headboard.

After taking another sip of water from the glass that Wilson had given him, House set it on the nightstand beside his bed. Sinking down a little farther on the bed, he looked over at Wilson and waited for him to do the same.

Wilson didn’t hesitate long enough for it to really prove whatever point he wanted it to. Sinking down he let himself face House. The light was on but neither of them seemed bothered enough by it to get up to turn it off.

House resituated himself, looking up at the ceiling instead of over at Wilson. He could still feel the way that the other man was looking at him though. Letting his eyes close, he asked, “Just going to lay there and stare at me all night?”

Wilson’s lips twitched into a tired smile for a moment. “That is the level of attention you usually want from me.”

House smiled too. “Doesn’t mean you need to be so obvious about it.”

He could’ve gone home. Or he could’ve slept on the couch instead. House was at least going to make it through the night without any further issues as long as he didn’t get out of bed and get into something else. And, judging by how much Wilson had to help him get to the room, he had the inclination that House wasn’t going to be getting up and going much of anywhere until late the following morning. The aftermath of this wasn’t going to be worth whatever momentary relief he got from it—it never did. But it never stopped him, and it never stopped Wilson from showing up.

Instead of coming up with another line of banter, Wilson reached over with one arm, draping it across House’s pillow above his hand. His fingers just barely brushed through the other man’s hair, but Wilson could tell that he felt it. By morning his slacks would be wrinkled and his other arm would be wrapped around House’s middle keeping them wrapped tightly together. But for now, Wilson just waited, and watched, and pretended that he wasn’t fighting off the same sleep that House slipped into so easily now that he was there.