#but i had to deal with people under influences my whole life and it's always stressful and unpredictable

[rin-hanarin]

There's something I really appreciate about Cloud Strife, and it's the fact that he's mentally falling apart half the time he's on screen. Like, people sometimes lose the plot because of 20 years of cameos and spin-offs, or love making him out to be this broody tough super soldier, or just straight up make a self insert out of him because they can't relate to him at all, but the fact that he's having all kinds of episodes every other game hour and it's not some cryptic subtext just speaks to me for some reason.

Cloud is this "legendary video game protagonist" and whatnot, but his actual story is so much more complex and choke-full of vulnerability and really down to Earth human weakness, amplified by a cocktail of all sorts of trauma and crazy alien influences. My guy is so not okay and is so messed up in the head he accidentally dooms the planet to a literal fiery death from a meteor strike, and it's just so different from what you might expect from him, considering how famous of a character he is.

I really respect the fact that he was written this way back in 1997, and the way his unstable, fractured sense of self is even more apparent in Remake series makes me really happy and really unsettled in equal measure. The OG game couldn't convey how bad it was within its graphics, but I think I managed to grasp what they were going for the first time I played it, and it is heartbreaking, with or without clear presentation attached to it.

[ruvviks]

toying with the idea of making yancey's friends not real. would that be too evil

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[frankensteins-mt-dew]

Little things I loved in Haunted Mansion (2023)

I just saw Haunted Mansion for a second time, and yall,it's good. The way they were able to blend the horror with the goofy and make it feel like the ride. amazing.

(Spoilers under the cut) here's all the little things I loved about the movie

1- this ones probably not anything but a coincidence but when Ben and Alyssa first meet the streamers are placed between them. I grew up Mormon (its complicated now) and whenever we drew the veil between life and death it was always a bunch of squiggly lines, like the streamers. Idk if that's like a thing in other religions too but I just thought it was interesting.

2- Gabby straight up saying "Nah. We're out." The second she noticed the spooky shit. Its an accurate and appropriate response that's not really used in this genre.

3- on that note I love the idea that they were basically forced to come back/stay. It advances the narrative and keeps them at the setting but it's not a bottle episode. Or movie.

4- Forced 👏 proximity 👏found👏family. They're all in the same room like 90% of the time no matter where they're at. And when they split the party for too long shit goes down.

5- Ben talking about his wife and his grief. The whole scene with him telling his friends about her and how she died, and Bruce almost immediately making a probably not appropriate joke that just made everyone laugh. It felt so real, like a real conversation. And the ghost winks. I have definently had those in my life but never had a name for it

6- Also the way they talk about grief?! Howthey show different characters dealing with it. How no matter who it is its like "you're hurting.it's ok. Let's get through it together" amazing.

7- The entire cast brought their A game in this movie. They knew what kind of movie this was and totally went with it

8- They ride references were amazing. The stretching room. the doom buggy chair. The forever hallway. Constance Hatchaway. Gracey. THE HAT BOX GHOST. Crump being the last name of one of the imagineers and his manor looking like the ride in wdw.

9- The music was so good! The jazz influence. SUPERSTITION. Grim Grinning Ghosts being prominent but not overwhelming. I wish the ending song was longer though.

10- the way they showed the passage of time with the moon phases and different outifts

11- Gabby and Ben's relationship remaining undefined. Imo this was not the time for them to get together, at least not immediately, what with (gestures broadly to everything) going on. The flowers he gives her at the end could be a romantic gesture or one of friendship and gratitude. I like that whatever ishappening between them is taking its time, because its something they both need.

I know there's something I'm forgetting but I cant think of it now so if I remember it I'll add it later. I hope more people go to see it I would love to see a sequel. Maybe they explore phantom manor or mystic manor (actually I dont remember if that one actually has any ties to the other mansions/manors)

[casurlaub]

Things fanon and I don't agree on #1

Fanon: Huge fight after "The Prank", Remus hates Sirius, doesn't talk to him for months, James adrift, dynamics of the whole Marauders destroyed, friendship possibly ruined forever until Sirius suddenly realizes what he's done and/or Remus takes pity on him after ages of him applogizing

Canon: No hint in that direction whatsoever. The opposite, more like

Please go for your "big fight after 'the prank'"-fanfictions, I love a good deal of them. But it's not canon.

There was no big fight and Sirius did not realize the wrong of his actions, at least not until after PoA

Hear me out:

Remus wasn't all that sensible a teenager as fanon makes him out to be

In PoA he says: 

"Soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check. I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did…[...]"

[...]

“That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you’d given the others the slip and bitten somebody?”  [Hermione]

"A thought that still haunts me”, said Lupin heavily. “And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless - carried away with our own cleverness."

So even if adult Remus is all reasonable, teenage Remus obviously had no qualms roaming around a freaking village as a werewolf? (And is adult Remus really that sensible? Let's not forget he did neither tell Dumbledore about an alleged mass-murderer being an animagus, nor the secret passages that led into the castle, even AFTER said mass murderer had already broken into Harry’s dormitory, supposedly with the plan to kill him.)

No, Remus basically admits he wasn’t all that bothered that he, a werewolf, almost gave the others the slip (As an adult, yes "A thought that still haunts me", but not as a teenager). And I think it’s sort of 'understandable‘ if we remind ourselves that Remus says he was  more human-like with them ("Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them."), plus that a werewolf isn’t a threat to animals ("A werewolf is only a danger to people.") They became reckless because Remus was no danger when with them.

What I take from this is: Remus was running around Hogsmeade, where people lived ("roaming the school grounds and the village by night") as a werewolf. Even though he almost slipped away more than once ("And there were near misses, many of them."). And Remus was - as I said - okay with it ("We laughed about them afterwards."), calls himself "thoughtless". 

So I think our view of Remus (whom I love by the way if that wasn't clear already, I LOVE flawed characters, don't take them away from me!) is a little contorted because we only know him as an adult (and even then he isn't always that reasonable as we make him out to be).

 

2. With that 'version' of Remus in mind him dismissing the prank is not that big a stretch

Remus might as well have gotten away from his friends and bitten/hurt another person. And if Remus was at the very least sort of okay with roaming Hogsmeade, I can see why the whole 'trick' was not that big a deal to Sirius. Because if Remus, who ought to know the risks best, whose life was at stake every time they left the Shack, didn't seem to think any of it, was acting that reckless, how was Sirius supposed to think it through, assess the possible dangers? (Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses for Sirius - he should have thought it through. I'm just trying to trace a poasible reasoning here)

3. Even if Remus was angry with Sirius after the prank, there was no big argument about it.

Adult Remus still speaks incredibly indulgently about the whole thing in PoA ("He has his reasons… you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me-” [...] Sirius thought it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape [...]").

This, I think, is a pattern, because he continues to do so in OotP, when Harry confronts him and Sirius after having seen Snape's worst memory (""Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did - everyone thought they were the height of cool - if they sometimes got a bit carried away-""). He's obviously quick to find excuses for his friends -even if he doesn't agree with their behavior (he doesn't agree with what they did in Snape's worst memory).  

Of course you could argue that  twenty years had passed between the prank and Remus's statements in PoA and that Remus has had time to get over it. But for me it doesn't add up, because of Sirius's response in PoA:

“"It served him right”. he sneered. “Sneaking around, trying to find, what we were up to… hoping he could get us expelled…” 

So Sirius says that "It served him right“. Now, I fully agree that Sirius doesn't give a fuck about Snape's emotions or even his life (which is also true the other way round), but I just can’t picture him acting like that if said 'trick' had caused a huge fight between him and Remus. 

Say fanon got it 'right':

After the prank Remus is furious with Sirius, so furious that he doesn’t talk to him. For months even. It’s unsure whether they'll be able to go back to being friends. Now, Sirius might not be the most observant person (debatable, but not the point here), but even he would have picked up on the fact that this was a really big deal for Remus if they had had such a huge fight, if he had almost lost his friend over this. And in that scenario I just can not see him dismiss the whole thing with a throwaway comment like that - even after twelve years of Azkaban fucking with his head. Not if that whole incident was such a big deal as people seem to think, not if it put a serious strain on their relationship. It'd be like deliberately twisting the knife, it'd be a testimony of him not giving a fuck about Remus's feelings on the matter, it'd be like screaming "fuck you" at Remus. I'm sorry, but I don't see that. He wouldn't say that if the prank had almost destroyed their friendship. Because there's no doubt Remus was important to him, he never intentionally wanted to hurt him. And Sirius might be reckless, but he's not stupid. He's described as very bright more than once. He's not stupid enough not to realize what his statement would do to Remus had there been a fight.

So here's what happened in my opinion (Of course my opinion isn't inherently 'right' and I'm not some kind of Harry Potter expert, so feel free ro disagree with me - but that goes without saying):

Snape is following them for ages, trying to uncover Remus's secret. We know from Snape's memory in "The Prince's Tale"  that James/Sirius and Snape have been 'enemies' since the very first Hogwarts train ride (were the nickname was born). For all we know Remus never engaged in the bullying (even though he did nothing to stop it, either). Apart from the disgusting incident in Snape's worst memory (we don't have to talk about it, they were far out of line), it sounds to me like Snape and James were evenly matched. ("“Well”, said Lupin slowly, “Snape was a special case. I mean, he never lost an opportunity to curse James so you couldn’t really expect James to take that lying down, could you?”")

Sirius stumbles into Snape, who has been snooping around again: Scenario A: He actually wants to hurt/kill Snape in a spur-of-the-moment thing, because he 'deserves it'. He just snaps. (He comes from a family who loves Dark Magic after all, I can see him having a 'dark side' that he usually has under control ("We've all got both light and dark inside us"). Ironically, I think that Sirius's drive to be 'good' is his biggest weakness, because it leads him to stupid decisions).  

Scenario B: He only wants to scare Snape. He doesn't think (because he's Sirius Black - there are multiple occasions where he doesn't think things through). To him Remus is not dangerous. Yes, he has seen the wounds Remus has inflicted on himself. But Sirius has never experienced Remus as a threat to others. He isn't to them, they are having a great time every full moon ("And they didn’t desert me at all. Instead they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi.”). He didn't think it possible that something bad could actually happen to Snape, because he doesn't see Remus that way. As a danger. (Cleary, he didn't think)

Maybe Remus is angry about the prank, maybe he isn't. Either way he doesn't start an argument. Maybe he genuinely doesn't care much. Maybe he realizes how dangerous the whole thing had been (he certainly has as an adult), but doesn't bring it up nonetheless. Maybe because he blames himself (because, how are his friends supposed to see the danger, when he himself, a werewolf, runs around the village with them). Maybe he is afraid of losing his friends if he speaks up (we know he is incredibly grateful to have them in the first place). Maybe he finds other excuses for Sirius's behavior (he didn't mean it / he never thinks so it wasn't personal / nothing happened / he is stressed out because he has to go back home soon (although we don't know whether that's the case, he might as well already have lived with the Potters at that point). I, personally, can totally see Remus make excuses for him, we know he also did it with the Snape-bullying. 

At some point Remus realizes how dangerous it all was. Maybe still as a teenager, maybe as an adult. He hates himself for letting any of that happen. 

Sirius obviously doesn't realize any of that or he wouldn't say what he said in PoA. 

Then, and this is just my personal theory: 

I think that at some point between the end of PoA and OotP where Harry discusses Snape's worst memory with Remus and Sirius they talked about it. 

There seems to have been some introspection on Sirius's part and I don't particularly see him having that reached on his own. And the way they are interacting with each other hints to me that they had a chat. 

So, Harry retells Snape's memory, says James only started to torment Snape because Sirius was bored  and then:  

"“I’m not proud of it”, said Sirius quickly.

Lupin looked sideways at Sirius, then said, “Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did - everyone thought they were the height of cool - if they sometimes got a bit carried away-”

“If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean”, said Sirius. 

Lupin smiled.

[...]

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot”, said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots! Well - Moony not so much”, he said fairly, looking at Remus." 

As I said, that's just my personal opinion, but to me it sounds as though -maybe- they talked about their past in the meanwhile. I mean . Sirius is sent to stay with Remus after GoF ("lie low at Lupin's") and then in OotP Remus is staying with him at Grimmauldplace. They surely have some time to talk about things. And if the whole prank/running around Hosgmeade thing is bothering Remus as an adult (and he just let it slip in PoA because it wasn't the place and time to address it in the Shack with Sirius trying to murder Peter), I can totally see them having that talk. Because as an adult, Remus doesn't seem to have that much of a problem to stand up to Sirius anymore ("Sirius, sit down!")

Do I think this course of events is 'right' or makes perfect sense? No. I think it would make more sense for Remus to be angry about the whole thing, even back then, as a teenager. But I don't see Remus roaming Hogsmeade either and he obviously did that. So, as I said before, please go for your "big fight after the prank"-fanfictions, I love a good deal of them. There's so much potential in the "big fight-thing.

And of course we don't have to stick to everything Rowling wrote (and sometimes definitely shouldn't!). But...

What bothers me is I rarely ever see a different approach.

[ffxivaltaholic]

Prompt #1: Steer

#FFxivWrite2024

I have endured many things in my life, those experiences taught me patience, even with the most unpleasant and difficult tasks... But this was truly a test of wills... "Hello? Hey, eorzea to Jellal? Jelly-beaaaaan." The grating tone of her voice snapped him back from his thoughts, amber eyes refocusing on the blonde woman sitting in front of him. "Hm?" A look of annoyance graced the man's face and he uttered a small sigh and composed himself. "Ah yes... Anyways, now that we've gone over the basics of the machine, you mostly need practice, preferably in a large open area without things.. Or people... That could become unfortunate pilons." A deep exhale as Jellal watched his cousin with a leery expression. She'd managed to mount the motorcycle fine, even turn it on without issue, but driving and steering it was a whole other challenge, and the vehicle was set to his specifications and power. It had some kick to it. "Perhaps I should just build you a smaller vehicle, with less power and... Guns..." Among other weapons hidden among the parts of the custom magitek bike. The look he received would cause the Seeker's ears to flatten back as Vassyl, her big shiny eyes lit up like a child's stared at him with delight at the idea. "Would you really build me one?" Since they had encountered each other during the war, neither aware of remnants of their family until then, he had always been a stubborn, crass and difficult man to deal with, regardless of being family. There were times the young Miqo'te woman wanted to yeet him off the nearest cliff, but the man had mellowed a bit since the war, getting married, and shifting his career path. He was tolerable most days, and after all, still family no matter how difficult he could be. Reaching up to brush a loose strand from her face, Vassyl offered him a cheeky little grin, awaiting his answer. Initially the man would simply huff and cross his arms, seeming to think about the suggestion he had made and the possible implications it could lead to. There would need to be some considerations made. "Yes but... On the condition you are not reckless with it. Your mother would bury me alive if you were injured by my influence." Jellal had come to terms with the fact that he would never be an overtly good person, even with his efforts to redeem those many years in service to Garlemald, a conscript and slave under their rule, and a soldier who carried the blood of many on his hands, for the war machines he had built. Even so, he kept trying to be better, in not for himself but for Vassyl who despite so much loss in the war had somehow managed to keep such a positive demeanor, and for his wife Iaella, who had seen the same horrors as him from the other side and yet managed to always wake with a smile and warm his once frigid outlook on life. The looked she gave brought out an unexpected chuckle from the Seeker and he waited as Vassyl mulled over the words before her expression matched his own. "Who me? Tch! I am far more capable than you take me for! But... I will be safe. I promise." As much as the woman enjoyed teasing her cousin relentlessly, the genuine concern in his words caused her to ease up a little. "Can you put a little snack compartment on it?" The request caught him entirely off guard and the Miqo'te flicked his tail with a mix of bemusement and annoyance all in one. "A.. Snack... Compartment...?" Jellal muttered the words and reached a hand up to run through his messy hair. Finally a deep sigh would compose him. "Sure why not...."

[rtofbs]

astrology notes 1.

note: these observations are based on the people around me and how I perceive and observe them. please let me know your thoughts and experiences with these placements too!

Aquarius in 10th house could mean that it’s crucial for the person in their career to have like-minded people around, to be a part of a community, and hates and dislikes the work environment where there is no unity between peers and sense of comradeship. 

for Libra placements the notion of the Other is very critical in their existence. for example, Mars in Libra can make a decision or take an action easier if there is another person with them. also, Mars in Libra feels confident dealing with stuff when they have a partner next to them. The notion of doing something alone stresses the fuck out of them.

the Libra Ascendant people always use the Other to navigate through life, and it shows when they ask a lot about what other people think about this or that, and take these opinions as something that they can use to make a decision, about themselves as well.

the Mercury in Libra is a very versatile placements as it depends seriously on what the sign of its ruler, Venus. Meanwhile generally they might have an eloquent speech, if the Venus is on Scorpio, then this placement spices up the Libra Mercury to be more spikey, more investigative, more obsessive, more blunt, preying, sometimes to the point of rudeness and raw honesty.

Mars is strong when placed in Sagittarius, however it’s necessary for the Sagittarius Mars to have a clear vision and goal to make a best of this placements. without the clear goal, they can procrastinate a lot.

i noticed that females with Mars in Scorpio tend to project this placement outwardly, and wait for the person with these qualities (cool, collected, passionate, problem-solving and good at decision-making) to come to their lives and handle all of their inconveniences. when they don’t project this placement outwardly, they are a power house.

Virgo placements in my opinion are the most emotional out of the Earth signs, while the Capricorn is the least. Virgo’s are great at creating an image of collected person who is in charge even when everything is getting out of control, and during these periods they are especially emotional. the wonderful thing about them, that these Queens and Kings of Chaos at the end of the day manage to bring everything under their control and complete everything with flying colours.

Virgo placements also have a huge stalker potential with their amazing investigative skills. they get easily obsessed with their partner, and think that they are inferior to what their Partner had prior to them, so they might become fixed to make sure that everything is ok, and no one is gonna take their beloved one. this might be because their second ruler, Proserpina, is in Scorpio.

Moon in Sagittarius with heavy water influence in their chart, especially Scorpio, can get easily obsessed and fanatical in love to the point of building a whole fucking altar in their soul that they will cherish and worship for a very long time. these two placements mixed in one chart are definitely not about the limits and boundaries: it goes deep and wide.

I noticed that Capricorns love sweets and candies very much, and this can be their guilty pleasure as it gives a sense of comfort for them. Capricorn can compete with Taurus when it comes to being a foodie.

[0alanasworld0]

Celebrity Crush (Pablo Gavi x reader) *request

Request: Hii can u do gavi having a crush on actress reader and he reveals it after being asked abot his celeb crush in an interview :) ♡

A/N - I know that this request has been completed before but I've always wanted to write one of these and I think that my take is sufficiently different from the other writer's -> I feel justified in posting it. I hope that makes sense lol

Warnings: none

“The love of your life is gonna be there, eh!” Pedri pokes at his best friend’s shoulder, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Pablo scoffs, one tiktok post on his screen is all it took for his little crush to become the team’s hot gossip. And it’s been a month!

“Are we really still on this?” gavi groans, throwing a hand over his face in an attempt to cover the blush of embarrassment as his teammates cackle around him. The joys of being the youngest (!)

“Hey, it's completely natural to have feelings lik-” 

“No no no no no I can’t deal with this today!” He grabs his bag and stomps out of the locker room, shaking his head with a huff. He would never dare admit this to his friends but my god if you weren’t the most stunning woman he had ever come across. Everything about you just oozed grace and elegance. Your voice was smooth and honeyed, striking eyes and a dazzling smile. You had an aura that just drew people towards you yet a shyness: there’s a little glimpse into how nervous the attention made you but you were still an infectiously positive influence on those around you. It certainly wouldn’t be surprising knowledge to anyone that Pablo had a little crush on you, many did. BUT the idea of you ever getting an idea of those feelings from the internet just made him cringe. He didn’t want to join a roster with those creeps. He didn’t even know you!

It was all an especially sensitive topic to him since you had mentioned being a football fanatic in a recent interview and you did express admiration for a certain La Liga goalkeeper that had him slightly disgruntled. However, when you also mentioned a certain Catalonian team as a favourite, he was shocked to say the least. You spoke very highly of them and it was becoming more and more apparent that you likely knew of him. Were you a fan? Did you just think of him as some stupid kid like everyone else? Have you ever been to one of his games and if so how did he not see you??

“So, you’re pretty new and upcoming so there's an air of mystery around you. I mean, we really don’t have anything on you! For a break-out star, it's a bit weird, don’t you think?” the host says, elbow propped up on the table with her head resting on their hand. 

“Yeah, I get that but suppose I’ve been a bit of a recluse my whole life uh… I don’t know! I’m not always on social media and I haven’t really done many interviews so I guess there never really is much of an opportunity? Even with the press stuff I have done, it’s all been very much focused on the show itself so y’know…” you trail off with a bit of uncertainty, wringing your hands under the table.

“Well, I’m gonna try and change that! We’re gonna treat this kinda like a first date, just a basic get-to-know-you type scenario, you cool with that?” she asks tentatively

“Yeah that sounds pretty good!”

“Okay let's start easy uh… favourite colour?”

“I feel like the range between blue and green is pretty solid, what do you like doing outside of work?”

“I’m kind of a soccer fanatic, actually! I used to be a die-hard football fan but something about soccer just makes it feel so much more energetic y’know?” You nod in agreement, smiling at the shared interest, perking up a bit.

“I have to agree with you on that one. I used to play all the time when I was a little kid and I burned out on it as a teenager but seeing it regain that energy over recent years is something so special!”

“Exactly! I really think we’re meshing here!” you both laugh as you jokingly hold hands over the table.

“Okay okay back to the subject matter, what's your favourite league?”

“The EPL.” you say, mouth twitching as the laugh threatens to break out. The interviewer narrows her eyes and takes her hands back, cocking her head to the side. The silence only makes it harder until both of you burst out into laughter, tearing up a little bit.

“Okay no be real…” the interviewer struggles to get the words out through the giggles. You finally manage to settle down and get the words out.

“Honestly I think that La Liga has really been seeing a revival. I still love the Bundesliga and Serie A but it's been super interesting to see the quality of La Liga go up so dramatically.” The interview nods and hums in interest. She raises her eyebrow with her next question.

“Any favourite players?”

“I can’t say any names for fear of it actually reaching them but the goalkeeping last season was stellar and I think that the Zamora trophy was very well earned.” ducking your head down as a small blush appears on your face. The interviewer smirks but continues.

“Okay fine but you have to have a favourite team?”

“Within La Liga, Barcelona has been super inspiring! It was a pretty tough time losing such consistent and reliable talent especially under those circumstances where they didn’t want to leave but I would have never expected a revival like this!”

“Tell me about it, and to come from such young players too?!”

“Exactly, it’s wonderful to see them be so resourceful given their… situation and it’s clearly working so I’d say that those promotions were very wise decisions on their part!”

…..

The teasing had always been there since the team found out about it but it took an upturn after that interview. Fans were picking up on the idea given the fact that the pair of you were the same age. The edits rolled in much more quickly than what he expected: the sensual  music, the mashups of his and your best moments, the illusion of the pair of you looking at each other. He doesn’t understand how they did it and he’s angry at the fact that he isn’t more offended by people imagining you as a couple. He wasn’t overjoyed by the ones of you and Pedri or a certain Moroccan goalkeeper that you referred to in the interview but nevermind. He couldn’t help but be a little curious about whether you two would be compatible. I mean it wasn’t too outlandish of an idea was it? You’re both young, struggling with fame, passionate, who knows maybe-

“Pablo, I’m begging you: get your head out of the clouds and pull it together!” his agent yells, throwing an empty water bottle in his direction.

“When are you free for a fitting?”

“... Huh?” he breathes out deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes in annoyance. The poor man just needs this one date sorted for the gala, he just wants to go home and yet here they are. All he needs is about a minute of focus.

“Okay if I have to say this one more time, I’m throwing the whole water drum at you.” the boy gulped, eyes widening at the threat, nodding vigorously as he straightened his back. Julian was a lovely guy with the patience of a saint and Pablo was grateful to have him as a publicist but he had his limits.

“Y’know that premiere Robert was going to?”

“Vaguely” Julian raises his eyebrows at that. This show has been on everyone’s lips for a good few months and to add to that, a particular name was frequently attached that would have been very familiar. Nonetheless, he chooses not to press. He just wants to get this all over and done with.

“Right well, some idiot insisted that he needed to do some promotional stuff instead so you’re going… well if you can actually cooperate and help me sort out a fitting date, that is.” he says, eyes narrowed at Gavi. Sighing out when he realises that the message has finally been received.

“Wait wait wait, why can’t pedri go?!” Julian decides that he will, in fact, push.

“Okay, I just told you that you’re going to be able to attend a premiere for the film that the love of your life is leading and you’re asking me why someone else can’t go?” Gavi looks down and plays with his fingers. Julian shakes his head, let's get this over with.

“No, magically no one else is available. Let’s get this fitting done at 10:00pm tomorrow, yeah?” any chances of being flexible are long gone, his patience running very thin. Julian hurries out of the room, holding his hand out to prevent Pablo from saying anything that would prolong the conversation.

“You do realise that this girl literally has no reason to dislike you, right?” Pedri says, looking up from his phone to see Gavi messing around with his tie and rolling his eyes. 

“Apart from the fact that I’m largely advertised as a player with a giant ego and no anger management skills?” Gavi huffs. Sure, your comments on the team were largely positive but you had to have seen some of the famous outbursts.

“Hermano, I can assure you that the way that you play completely overshadows the angry  chihuahua behaviour. If she can’t see that, then she’s not worth your time.” he shrugs. Oh if only it were as simple as that. Pedri may have been right but the fact of the matter was that he wanted you to like him. You were ethereal and the idea of you not liking him made his chest tighten. 

“See! This is what I mean! I doubt she’d have any interest in an ‘angry chihuahua’” Gavi turns around to face his best friend, aggressively air quoting.

“C’mon man, I was only joking.” Pedri gets up to give him a reassuring hug. He can sense that his friend is still extremely nervous so he releases the hug before continuing.

“Look, she seems nice enough and she likes the team. The most you have to worry about is the great wall of Morocco sweeping her off her feet before you.” patting his cheek with a smile. Gavi looks away and huffs again but is unable to hold back the smile. Okay, that was funny. He’d never admit that, though. Thank goodness, he’s married.

“Oy, apparently that Gavi kid is gonna be there!” your ears perk up at your friend’s comment. ‘That Gavi kid’ was a phenomenal footballer and very quickly caught your attention the first time you saw him play live. The guys you’re constantly having to deal with are all the same type with very little motivation or ability to do the simplest of things. The fact that there was someone around your age having the talent, motivation and passion to play for (and help resurrect) one of the most iconic teams in the world as well as his national team was so incredibly attractive to you. His doe-eyes and fluffy, chocolate brown hair definitely helped him out in the looks area as well.

“He seems like a sweet guy, I happen to think we’d get along quite well actually!” your cheeks heat up as a shy smile makes its way onto your face.

“Oh there's no doubt about that! Being swept off your feet by Barca’s golden boy is very on-brand for you! And have you SEEN those edits, wow!” She fans herself jokingly as you throw a pillow at her head.

“Okay that's enough of that. Now I beg you just choose between one of these!” you’re holding up the two dresses you spent ages narrowing down to.

“Girl, you’re going to be the star of the show, those edits will be up and out regardless of whether your dress is cerulean blue or midnight blue.” you roll your eyes as you eye the 2 dresses once more.

“What has gotten into you? You usually have this stuff picked out weeks in advance!”

“I don’t know, just having some doubts is all.”

“Look, I promise that your lover boy is going to be blown away with either of these.”

The taxi ride feels like forever. He’s redone his tie more times than he could count. He’s been keeping a close eye on every rumoured attendee’s social media to try and up his morale but finally, they make it to the venue. It’s all glammed up with lights lining up the red carpet. It leads to the doors which are strictly guarded by 2 burly men in all black. The odd nightclub visit may have felt normal to the poor boy but not this. It's a little too much and just as he thought he had calmed down, the nerves make their unwelcome return and his hands are sweating again.

The second he opens the taxi door, the cameras start flashing and people start yelling his name. Gavi takes the time to thank his driver, passing over a generous tip before slowly exiting. Why do they have to be like this? Why do I have to be like this? He asks himself. The suit that he had made to his form by the finest tailors just days prior suddenly felt too tight. It was some of the most expensive material yet it now felt scratchy and coarse against his skin. It was all suffocating: the noise, the lights, the smell; everything. He rushes down the carpet with his head down, ignoring the requests to smile for the camera. The words were barely intelligible anyway.

The temporarily converted mall is still extremely busy and loud but the lack of paparazzi and yelling was a change he felt very grateful for. The noise is more energetic chatter and less ear-shattering screeches as the walk-in was. He sighs in relief when he sees a familiar face. 

“Ah, Gavira! You made i- what’s wrong?” his teasing smile turns into a look of concern.

“What?! Nothing! Why would you ask that?” he’s rambling, still rattled from the entrance.

“Oh hermano you look like you’re about to cry!” Julian gives him a hug which Pablo gladly accepts. It’s just a lot. He has nothing to ground him or divert his attention like the pitch does. There is probably a reason why Robert is usually the one to go to events like this.

“Look, I know that the entrance was a bit much but I promise you, that was the hard part. Now it's just gonna be a couple interviews, some less chaotic photos, try to talk to some of the actors here… you’ll have fun, okay?” Gavi nods with a semi-enthusiastic smile on his face, it probably looked more like a grimace but nevertheless.

It’s been a big improvement from the first impression and Gavi is enjoying himself. He didn’t have very many photos taken at all and it’s been a relief to see footballers other than himself dotted around. Talking to them, among some of the actors, has given him some reprieve. It isn’t so bad after all.

The first interview isn’t too much of a hassle for him either. He’s used to much less friendly people than this.

“So, it must be pretty crazy to receive such high praise from such a highly coveted actress, huh?”

“I mean, yeah! She didn’t refer to me directly but it’s awesome anyway. I’m glad our team is still inspiring so many people and that SOMEONE understands the approach Xavi is taking!” he manages to get a little chuckle out of the man which releases some tension. He continues.

“No seriously, she’s an insanely beautiful and talented person so it really is an honour to hear it from someone of her calibre.” gavi says with a wistful smile on his face, cheeks heating up at the mere thought of you being aware of his existence. The interviewer smirks but keeps things rolling, that footage was going to be golden.

“On a more personal note, thank you for what you’re doing for Barca and the national team. Absolutely phenomenal coming from someone so young and I can’t begin to describe how excited I am to see how things work out for you in the future.” Well that's very different from what he’s used to hearing from older fans. It warms his heart.

“Thanks man, that seriously means so much to hear!” They give each other a bear hug before he walks off, relaxed and confident. But the second he turns around, it all dissipates. There you are, in all your glory. You’re not even doing anything intentionally model-esque, simply looking down and readjusting your dress as you wait for the journalists and camera crew in front of you to have everything set up. It's a moment he feels guilty for intruding on but you smooth down your dress, smiling as you twirl around in it. He’s mesmerised within seconds of seeing you in person, the photos don’t do you justice. At all. 

He can’t hear what you’re saying and doesn’t dare get any closer but the second you start speaking you have everyone’s attention. He can tell whenever someone is complimenting you as your hands move to cover your cheeks as they heat up. He wonders how you feel about the small crowd gathering around you. Did you ever get as nervous as he did? Was this stressful for you too? He’s brought out of his thoughts as the crowd laughs quietly at a comment you made. Oh and she’s funny too? Of course she is!

Much to his disappointment, Julian is dragging him off to another interview before he could even muster up the courage to go and talk to you, with the crowd beginning to disperse. He stills looks back at you, heart pounding as you make eye contact. He sees you offering a little wave before he loses you among the people. Your smile was breath-taking but smiling directly at him was a whole different story. The rest of the interviews couldn’t last any longer, or at least he felt that way. He just wanted to see you again now, nothing else was on his mind. 

That idea was a lot harder in practice, he learned. You’re right there, swirling your sprite can at the drinks bar, looking up and around every now and then. He’s been dawdling for about ten minutes now, “figuring out what to say.” He looks up every once in a while, you’re playing with your dress again and you still look just as mesmerising. Julian has had enough of the situation, pushing Pablo towards you and walking off before the boy could try to hide behind him.

“Oh my gosh, hi! It’s Pablo, right?” good lord you’re somehow even more gorgeous up close and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Have you seen that interview? They posted that one clip very quickly and he’s extremely anxious at the idea of you being spammed with the clip. It’s a shame he hadn’t been paying attention to the posts other than his interview clip. Or listened when he saw you being interviewed.

“That's me!” he says, laughing nervously. 

“I’ve honestly been wanting to meet you for so long!” you say with a bright smile on your face, bouncing up and down on your toes with excitement. You can’t resist giving him a hug and he thinks his heart is going to burst out of his chest any time soon. You smell absolutely divine and he’s trying to commit the whole moment to memory. You take his hand and pull him to an area behind all of the giant posters where things are a little quieter.

“I could say the same about you, I mean you’re just…wow!” He’s properly kicking himself. One chance to look cool in front of you and he’s fucked it up.

You’re so caught up in the excitement of talking with Pablo Gavi that you forget the fact that you elicit the very same feelings in him. 

“No, seriously you’re incredible! I usually find defensive tactics more interesting but you are absolutely explosive in midfield! I haven’t seen anyone play quite like that for ages!” you gush. Pablo couldn’t be more grateful that everyone forced him to come here. You liked him! You liked him!

“It's honestly just what I love doing, I suppose the passion builds into the output…” he trails off as you nod enthusiastically, giving him a reassuring smile and eagerly waiting for him to continue. You don’t like eye contact very much but his hazel eyes are truly gorgeous and you can’t bring yourself to look away.

“Hey, enough about me, this is a big day for you! You’re finally getting the recognition you deserve!” he says, gaining a bit of his confidence back and nudging you lightly. You can feel your cheeks heat up. 

“Eh, the me-fest was fun online but holy shit am I tired of it after this!” you laugh together and simultaneously realise that you’re still holding onto each other's hands. It just feels too right to let go.

“Do you hate the noise as much as I do?” you whisper in his ear. He feels a chill run down his spine from your warm breath and goosebumps form immediately. He nods softly, confused and suspicious of the mischievous look in your eyes.

“What’s on your mind, bonita?” he narrows his eyes, squeezing your hands lightly, waiting for you to elaborate.

“There’s a park literally 2 minutes away from here! if we manage to make an escape, we can get away from all the noise, look up at the stars…” you trail off, waiting for his response. He seems to have a permanent smile etched on his face with you but it widens with your idea. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and you begin to weave in and out of the crowd which has begun to disperse a little already. 

The pair of you make it out unscathed, giggling to each other as you look back to make sure you haven’t been caught. He keeps his arm where it is, again it just feels too right. You reach one of the park benches and decide to take your seats. The dim glow of the street lamp above you illuminates your features and he can’t help but stare. Your eyes are focused on the stars, you’re holding out your hand to map out the stars you were familiar with. Your other hand is gripping the bench and he inches his own closer and closer but he has an idea of his own. He doesn’t know how but he’s thankful that his confidence resurfaces once more as he stands up, holding a hand out to you. Your focus returns to him and you cock your head to the side in confusion.

“Dance with me” the idea makes you all giddy inside but you can’t help but tease

“Without music?” He sighs in faux-annoyance as he opens his phone to play a soft tune, propping it up on the blazer he opts to take off. He’s a sight for sore eyes in the crisp, white button-up. He offers his hand to you again but you oblige this time. You squeal slightly as he unexpectedly pulls you towards his body, instinctively placing a hand on his chest while his free hand finds a place on the small of your back. His hazel eyes are so much prettier up close. He simply can’t believe that this is happening. You both fall into a rhythm together as you move to the soft melody. 

“I’m a genius.”

“Of many things” he says with a wistful sigh, smiling softly. 

The butterflies in your tummy grow more and more restless as your faces grow closer together. You can feel his warm breath on your face and you can see the little scars that adorn his face. The hand that rested on his chest slides up towards his face to cup his cheek and his eyes flutter to a close for a second as he relishes the warmth. You’re both breathing heavier, almost panting, even though nothing has happened yet. Your eyes are frantically flickering over each other's features, desperately trying to commit even the most minute detail to memory. Your gaze lingers on his pretty pink lips for a second too long and like that: you’re the first to give in. you pull him towards you, finally capturing his lips in a soft kiss. He tenses for a moment, mind completely blanking as he attempts to process what is happening. Just as quickly, he relaxes and pulls you even closer to him, if that were even possible. The taste of your watermelon flavoured lip gloss was borderline addictive and the softness of his lips had you feeling dizzy. You part slowly and reluctantly for breath, your hands stay in each other's hair as you stare into each other’s eyes.

“Promise you’ll call?” you say as the taxi pulls up at your place. You really have no idea just how infatuated he was with you.

“I swear on my life, bonita. I’ll call the second I get home!” he smiles, pulling you in for the final kiss of the night before you open the car door and leave. Before entering your place, you turn around to give him a wave, smiling widely as he waves back. You kick off your heels and flop onto the couch, a wide smile plastered on your face as you recall the events of the night: he, Pablo Gavi, really liked you.

Pablo tries to close the door quietly behind him, finally returning home after going rogue at the premier with you. The lamp in the corner of the living room flickers on, spooking him as he sees Pedri sitting there, wide awake and waiting. 

“Look, I know I should have called about where I was but I swear I know how to handle myself I just-”

“Yeah yeah whatever, I couldn’t care less about that Gavira. You owe me something.” Pablo is stumped, his tired mind can’t wrap around what his friend is trying to get at.

“An apology? I was trying before I got rudely interru-” Pedri turns the laptop around so the screen is facing his best friend. 

Oh god no, this was all much quicker than anticipated. No words can be heard and the camera quality is rather shaky but the faces are obviously you and him. The camera has captured the moment where you drag him to behind the posters to talk privately, your hands resting in his, and they capture the pair of you walking off back into the crowd together in the middle of the escape. 

Pedri gets up, places the laptop on the table and goes to ruffle Pablo’s hair and then shakes him by the shoulders.

“I told you she was into you! I told you! You’re such an idiot I swear!” Gavi rolls his eyes, mouth twitching as he tries to hold off a smile. He doesn’t want to reveal all the details yet but it was a magical night, to say the least.

“C’mon you have to tell me something!” Gavi looks down as a blush dusts his cheeks.

“She said she wants to see me again,” he says, stretching the back of his neck. Pedri wraps him in a tight hug.

“I’m always right, see?” 

“Whatever!” Gavi retorts with a smile, jogging up to his room. He’s itching to call you. Pedri lets him go in peace, oh he’s going to be relentlessly teasing the poor man in the morning.

Once Pablo reaches his room, he quickly unbuttons the shirt, throwing it to the side before falling onto the bed, sighing in relief as the cool and crisp sheets felt like heaven against his burning hot skin. The effect you had on him clearly hasn’t worn off just yet. He opens his phone and immediately goes to call you. A smile immediately makes its way onto his face as he hears your voice.

“Did you make it home safely?”

“As per instruction, bonita.” he thinks he can hear your smile over the line. Oh this was the start of something beautiful.

I’m sorry this has taken so long, lovelies. I have a lot on my plate and have been feeling a little demotivated but I've been feeling a lot better recently so hopefully I can start posting more often again! I hope you enjoy this one xxx

[callsignbaphomet]

I said I was gonna talk about this so here I am, talking about it.

As of late I've been putting Angelus in a very different light. More confident, stronger (in every sense of the word), more outgoing and taking more charge and most notable not as depressive. If you've noticed (or not) since the beginning or better said the remaking of my blog I'd always tag Angelus in the most depressive posts I came across and anything depression related was instantly tagged under his tag. Any time I wrote him he was this ball of depression and anxiety but for a while now I've been changing it up especially in the AUs and they've been slowly bleeding into the Oracle version.

We're not gonna get into it here but that guy did not have an easy start to his life. He himself says his life started the second Jelani carried him out of that makeshift grave and with good reason. Lately though he's kind of changed, from being really meek and super quiet and unsure of himself to outgoing, loud and his depression has taken a backseat to the point where he even forgets it's a thing. Yeah, he has moments like with any life long illness but for the most part you can say he's beaten his demons down.

Like I said some time ago, this story I'm planning will have him meet a specific person that will add even more to his recovery. That person will actually help both him and Jelani with their internal turmoils (Angelus with being a Crossed Breed and Jelani with being the Arch-Maker).

I've never mentioned this but all werewolf breed names are kind of based on traits whether physical or something they've done.

Silver sights = their eyes glow silver and they have a bit of an ability to kind of hypnotize their prey for a few seconds (I never said any of it was clever ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭)

Mist walkers = have a bit of a passive ability to "conjure" mist and fog as a way to blen in during the hunt.

Howling ghosts = their howls can momentarily cause their prey to freeze in fear.

Stalkers = their name comes from their ability to move almost completely silently and really fast.

And then there's the Crossed breed...it was meant as an insult. You cross a Howling Ghost with a Stalker and you get a breed that's crossed. A mutt. A mongrel. A cur. You get the idea. Not a nice name but it stuck and Angelus had to live with it. Aleksey tried to squash the use of that name but even someone as influential as he couldn't stop it. At some point Angelus stopped caring and kinda did the whole "reclaim it" deal but when people wanna be hateful they will absolutely try their hardest.

In the story (I can type again lol) this person, a nature goddess, who also holds the moniker of "Mother of werewolves" isn't exactly thrilled about the name so she herself names his breed, she'd spread her influence and make it stick. She's an interesting individual, I should talk about her sometime. I've been sitting on this for weeks because I wanted something fitting and that I liked. Eventually I settled on Moonborne. So as soon as I finish said story I'll be changing the info everywhere to match the canon events tied to it. Tbh I myself am gonna start using Moonborne from now on outside of stories before this specific story.

Meeting and talking to said individual will affect both Angelus and Jelani positively and would eventually help Angelus further, at this point he was already overcoming his depression but meeting her would help further. Not to take away credit from him, you know, he struggled and was beat down but ultimately he was the one that managed to get himself out of the shit.

Honestly I just think it was high time I evolved him past the "depressed kid of the group" and let him come out of his shell. It also works to help me as well. There's a teensy tiny detail about Angelus that I have only mentioned once but it's why he is so very important to me and why he was the very first OC I made. Both he and I have grown and changed a lot since his inception when I was 14 and I think he deserves better. Both of us are still wounded and we may have our lows but yeah, I think he deserves his highs more than his lows.

Don't get me wrong he's still a lil ball of rage, fury and anger but just not as depressed lol.

[just-some-guy-joust]

alright, as requested and promised, my explanations for why everyone on side b got into the tourney

once again making the note that i was desperate for women that weren't blatantly written by a misogynist and it influenced a couple choices

starting with the most argued about characters again

mob (mp100): 1 submission, good description. "he has powers he can't be just some guy!" NOT WHAT THIS TOURNEY IS ABOUT. mob is a kid. he's just a kid doing his best. like the whole plot of mp100 is that he's just some kid isn't it??? i haven't watched it i can't argue the details but he is a very good example of just some guy

rung (transformers): 1 submission, good description. submitter got extra points for being the longest submission and being so sweet to me. rung is like, God, or something but he doesnt Know That so he's just living a perfectly normal life. he's so average people regularly forget who he is or what his name is. from the submission, "He's just the definition of 'some random kind guy you bump into in the hall and then completely forget about two hours later' I really don't know how to explain it."

han solo (star wars): 2 submissions. its like his whole thing. the rest of the team is a princess, a jedi, man i don't know the rest i haven't watched star wars in years but they are all supremely not some guy, and han's just some cunt with a van to drive them around in. yeah he's got his own shit going on but also. i dont remember how it actually went down but he really feels like he just stumbled into the plot and now he can't leave

ok now the rest of the characters under the cut

carol kohl (cateotw): 1 submission, good description. the description really moved me and i have GOT to watch this show at some point. carol lives on an earth that's going to end in a few months and everyone is trying to make their last months exciting and happy and getting to do what they've always wanted to. what carol wants to do is keep working an office job and continuing her routine. the show does not shame her for this, it's just who she is. and man..... as a chronically ill person who's had to think about that kind of thing. that really hits hard.

jaehee (mystic messenger): 1 submission. the woman situation is fucking dire. i will admit she seems to be written the way she is because of misogyny n shit but at least this submitter actually acknowledged it. mystic messenger is i believe a dating game and her route involves dealing with her shitty boss and quitting her job. the other routes have fucking wild shit going on but jaehee just quits work

paul matthews (guy who didnt like musicals): guaranteed entry

emma perkins (guy who didnt like musicals): 3 submissions. one person described her and paul as "guy4guy" and i was so enamored with this concept i gave her a guaranteed position. she works at a coffee shop and seems to not give a fuck that she's in a musical and needs to sing. major "i cant wait to clock out and go home" vibes

su moting (god troubles me): 1 submission. the child of a monster and a god so she was just born a regular human. that's so fucking funny. she has some wild roommates (a "phone god" and a "cat monster") but she's got a normal office job so she's not even around them much on weekdays

satou hiroshi (saiki k): 2 submissions. canonically the most average guy. perfectly average in every way. average grades, weight, height, family, etc etc etc. as average as possible

chilchuck tims (dungeon meshi): guaranteed entry

michelle nguyen (wtnv): 1 submission. i mean. its fucking night vale. that place is fucked. and yet michelle just runs a record shop and loves her girlfriend good for her

tad strange (gravity falls): guaranteed entry

colin robinson (wwdits): 1 submission, personal bias. he's an energy vampire that feeds off peoples energy so he will ramble to them for 6-12 hours about taxes. has a regular office job because what better place to find miserable people to torment. prides himself in his ability to be just some guy

bard (wandersong): 1 submission, friend bias. they're the protagonist of the game but they are not the hero of the story. they're on a quest to save the world but destiny does not care for them. they are trying so hard to bring people joy and that in turn is what makes them actually able to succeed. they are not a hero, but they are a friend

usopp (one piece): 1 submission, friend bias. i will be honest you i avoid one piece at all costs but he gets a pass for my buddy. unfortunately none of the info they gave me actually stuck in my brain so my explanation is gonna suck ass but he seems very scared and very weak compared to everyone else and everyone knows he's the just some guy of the group

nick carraway (great gatsby): 1 submission. i do not remember reading this book for school but idk that seemed like a correct vibe check and i wasn't gonna argue with it

link (oot): 1 submission, personal bias. SCREAMS. WAILS. POUNDS FISTS ON THE FLOOR. I LOVE HIM!!! i am extremely mentally ill about most editions of link being just some guy but i agreed heavily with the submission saying oot is probably the best example. HE'S JUST A KID!!! he thought he would never have to grow up because he was a forest kid too but then he did have to grow up what the fuckk

kazooie (I MADE HIM <3): he is my oc and i love him so fuckign much

connecticut clark (florkofcows): guaranteed entry

samwise (lotr): 1 submission, personal bias. only here because he refused to let his friend have to deal with this alone. its the whole point of the story, that hobbits are the just some guys of the world. that these hobbits were just normal innocent men now trying to end a war. and sam is the most just some guy of the bunch

hitomi (madoka magica): 2 submissions. only one that isnt a magical girl. im sure there's more to it than that but i haven't watched madoka in years and the submissions didn't give me anything else so that's it

junpei iori (persona): 1 submission, friend bias. persona characters can get fucking wild but he seems to be the resident normal dude. and tbh i just can't stop thinking about this part of the submission

tomoya (ensemble stars): 2 submissions, good descriptions. ok so like. ensemble stars has like 50 main characters or something i dont know i dont go here. tomoya is the Only One that's normal. he's just trying to be a teen idol and his defining character trait is that he is tomoya and he is here.

peter sqloint (jrwi): 1 submission. i have listened to a bit of this and while i did have to put it down cause it wasn't really my thing, peter must've made an impression on me because the Only Things i can remember from what i listened to was just how bizarrely normal peter is. yes he has the angel of retribution inside him urging him to kill the gods but his life goal is to buy a new log for his pet lizard and his job is to sort rocks and its his favorite thing. sometimes you have to wonder if peter is even aware of whats going on or if he is too busy thinking about cool rocks to notice

cabbage merchant (atla): 3 submissions. i dont care. but very few characters actually got 3 submissions so i let him in. i was trying to avoid characters that clearly just existed for a bit or are simply background characters with nothing else going on (they count as just some guy but its just not as interesting to me) but he made it in anyways.

marta cabrera (knives out): 1 submission and that submission was ME because im THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS IT (/silly). i cannot fucking believe no one else submitted her im so fucking mad her being just some guy is literally the entire point. spoilers for knives out, SHE'S A GOOD DOCTOR. SHE'S JUST A GOOD DOCTOR. SHE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!!! she was always just some guy no matter how much everyone else wanted her to be something different. i love her

greg universe (steven universe): 1 submission, good explanation. he's just stevens dad <3 he lives in his van and is an ok musician and he's very content with his life. he's hanging out

mishima (persona): 2 submissions. he's just one of your classmates. this is signifcant because other supporting cast characters have a lot of their own wild shit going on. mishima is your classmate and he's trying to help the phantom thieves look cool on social media. thatse it babey!

gingerbrave (cookie run): 1 submission, good description, personal bias. ok so its a gacha game about cookies that run. gingerbrave is the mascot and the most basic guy you can get. he's a cookie and he runs. and he's very sweet and i like him <3 he loves his friends. anyways google like any other character in the cookie run franchise and you'll understand.

arthur dent (hitchhikers guide): 2 submissions. honestly i don't have strong opinions on him and he's got a fuck ton of propaganda on the post im skipping this

elsen (off): 1 submission, friend bias. i am enamored by how this is like a species of normal guys. they are meant to reflect the struggles of average normal people. they have office jobs and a fuck ton of anxiety so you can see how they reflect that <3

tadano hitohito (komi cant communicate): 2 submissions, good description. HIS NAME LITERALLY TRANSLATES TO "JUST A PERSON" THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME I HAD TO PUT HIM IN

[inchidentally]

I've got a few asks that are all actually roughly under the same umbrella in terms of my replies - and be aware I've had to get way more serious then usual so pls skip if you're not here for that <3

mmmmm yea you can feel as you want anon but I personally am not going to want to parallel that relationship with Oscar and Lily's. my main cause when it comes to wives and girlfriends is that they all deserve to be protected against rampant, casual misogyny in fandom spaces. but also to not to project any reflected good will onto her boyfriend or husband simply because he's the boyfriend or husband. and there's so much about the 2000s drivers that makes me hope that at least some of their behavior isn't being carried on with the current younger guys on the grid :///

also just as a reminder: I was raised by intersectional feminists and I've witnessed what even supposedly "loving" het relationships can do to people who identify as women* - so I'm never going to be rooting for heterosexual relationships as far as women are concerned. I'm not overly prejudiced and I fully support any woman's choices for herself - and I don't have the smallest delusion that I have a right to an opinion on those choices <3 but equally I'm not going to lie to myself that women don't statistically always lose or sacrifice something of themselves when they become a partner to a man and that the man loses and sacrifices nothing - and if he makes the most basic effort he's praised as a god among men. especially not a man who's career has and will always take priority over his relationship and especially if the woman has to navigate or alter her life to deal with the man's profession, public image or his fanbase. I will always want women to pursue life on their own terms without men in any way dragging them down or altering their lives - that's just my opinion and it's fine if others disagree or hopefully project onto those relationships for any reason. so far, to me, the only driver's relationships that seem at all truly balanced and not negatively affecting or requiring compromises of the women that the man doesn't have to repay, are Lily and Alex and Melissa and Nando - and while I don't know much about them probably Tiffany and Valtteri. those women were already fully adults when they met these guys and would be able to leave the relationships whenever they want without having their own individual lives and incomes affected or altered in any way. I do not see any excuse for a woman to be in a relationship in any other way or with any further sacrifice and especially not because of a man, who will always enjoy economic and social power above hers.

*I know this is a whole unique point but as far as I'm concerned identifying as a woman is how I'm referring to women at any time. TERFs DNI.

-

ok so I've heavily edited these next two bc my blog is not the place to get into All That and I don't want to bring stress and negativity to moots

I think the funniest part of this rumor is how everyone's been asking for a screen recording of this and absolutely no one can produce anything other than one screencap of Rebecca at one brief time offering subscription content with no explanation for what - and that was something all models and influencers did for a while to make some money when a bunch of platforms screwed over their engagement. everyone's just running with this as if it's anyting and wtfff you're saying all she was offering were 'pictures of Carlos from the back' LIKE BFFR what are y'all even saying here ??? who was being robbed what crime was committed how is this even worth remembering ??? the reach being rought!!

but on the serious side, I'm gonna need all of you to sit yourselves in a quiet place and start taking this spontaneous and erratic morality that magically shows up when women are involved and start actually applying it to your pookie bears in F1. because not only does Carlos and the rest of the grid exploit the media, fans and sponsorships for cash, gifts, engagement and popularity - they also endorse and personally directly fund and engage with entire companies and individuals who actively perpetuate and uphold the absolute gutter of amorality and social iniquity that is the foundation of this whole sport !!

like here you guys are hunting for any tiny scrap of something to further the prejudice that these wives and girlfiends are not your ideas of Perfect Pure Sainted Angels - meanwhile you're looking at hugely problematic words and actions from your favorite driver and literally assuming that they've suddenly "had a change of heart" or are "better people now" based on ???? nothing ???? and THEN you start hoping that the girlfriend or wife is "good for him" or that she won't "be bad for him" I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind since when does a girl or woman over the age of 15 think that rich, powerful white men in hugely problematic fields of work are the ones being cruelly corrupted by the women they personally choose to date ??? if these men are shitheads then they did it all on their own babes !!

and I have to assume that even die hard Carlos fans on here are aware of how he's very much not perfect and that anyone sensible has to admit that unless he made the decision to publicly and loudly make a statement to the contrary then all of his opinions and affiliations are the same. you can absolutely compartmentalize these guys - we all do! - in order to like certain things about them or engage in content about them, but nobody should be out here so woman-hating as to take nothing of substance and use it to award these men virtues that have no foundation in reality. all while vilifying their wives and girlfriends over literally the smallest thing or making the most tenuous of connections to try and prove why they shouldn't be with your fave guy. or because while the men can fuck and cheat all they want, you've decided the women they date or marry have to conform to regressive ideas of female purity.

(just to clarify, the stuff I'm referring to "men" or "drivers" as doing is not specifically referring to Carlos or one man in particular but about the wider issue of double standards between drivers and their girlfriends and wives)

so a wife or gf of a man with an all-consuming career that involves her altering her life and plans to go all over the world just to be with him, decides to do exactly what he does and utilize a fanbase and popularity for gain? suddenly she's an evil conniving witch capable of manipulating and controlling poor widdle rich, white, powerful, influential man !! even though he dumps women and cheats on women whenever he wants and doesn't face a single bit of criticism for fans' perceptions of problems in his relationships but oh he's just a helpless hard-working victim who is nobly doing his dream job that his one percenter family and/or social status and/or race and gender made completely effortless for him and how DARE his wife or girlfriend get any of the financial benefit from a field of sports where women are so hated that even the most powerful woman is publicly accused by the highest authority in the sport of collusion based on nothing more than one gossip columnists lie !!

I could go so fucking far about how the women these men date and marry have been socially groomed from birth to be beautiful and silently supportive of their man and told they're not good enough or smart enough to succeed in a "serious" business environment - and that the drivers conveniently always end up with beautiful women who suffer at the hands of his fans who blame women for how men treat them all while he says nothing so as not to upset his base of support - then fuck it, let them all sell you people subscriptions for pictures of the drivers! let them scrape even a tiny fraction off the top of this imbalanced and unfair socioeconomic dynamic compared to the huge, unearned kickbacks and handshakes that make these men so effortlessly successful and rich. you can see those subscriptions as payment on your part for spreading rumors and hate about women and using double standards.

the rich famous man will NOT change his life to either fit your rpf ship - or to stay single so that you can continue your parasocial relationship with him uninterrupted - or choose a woman based on who you deem to be an appropriate self-insert. no matter how many rumors you believe or spread or how often you post content hating on his partner, his choice will not be affected by you. so keep those delusions and misogyny to yourself - or at least away from my blog and inbox !

honestly anon, I've already known the content of all of your messages over the past few months and I'm choosing the least offensive one for a reason to post (edited ofc so no one can accuse me of slander or whatever)

listen: if I was at all saying that Carlos is unproblematic or publicly promoting him in any way then I'd absolutely deserve what you're saying. but for myself personally, Carlos is part of am f1blr specific hyperfixation where I stay on my blog and write stupid narratives using drivers for fun. I'm not contributing anything to his overall fanbase or giving him any of my financial or personal support. I stick to fandom spaces only and not any platform that the drivers or anyone in wider F1 circles use.

and the thing is that not only would it be putting the burden of his problematicness on me if I were to post your asks bc I alone would have to answer for them, it would also probably just be informing people of what's fully and easily available to find elsewhere. everyone I mutually follow and most people I see are fully aware that we're taking these men and for the most part using them for our own fanon rather than their actual reality. so for me to pick one driver and say look at these awful realities then I'd have to do that with all of them, including the drivers who are at all friendly with known problematic drivers and people. so while I totally understand if someone wants to kick all of F1 out of their fandom experience bc Men then jfc absolutely go for it. I'm not at all pretending that what I'm doing on my blog is worth the smallest shit! but me deciding to pick one driver out of all of them to put on blast would do nothing but make me a hypocrite and rightfully have people asking me why I don't talk about this or that driver too.

and quite frankly unless someone never supports with any male-majority content and solely focuses all of their time to intersectional feminist content then there ain't a leg to stand on to blast any other fanbase or focus on one particular person. it's fully fair to be critical! but not to get on a high horse if there's even one cishet man in your list of fandom things. honestly that could even be broadened in some cases to one cis man.

absolutely, take the truth to people who are out there on public platforms trying to claim that any of these drivers are saints and perfect humans where they could potentially be recruiting to a fanbase using false narratives and covering up problematic behavior. but ask yourself if you're time is best spent mostly attacking women and girls in fanbases over this or going right to the comments and tags that squarely target the men themselves.

but on here I've got to kind of assume we all know what the score is and nobody's in denial that these are mere Rich Powerful Men and none of them deserves our actual serious allegiance yk ??? I feel like we're all aware this is us having fun and we're all accepting that while we can block and blacklist tags based on personal preferences, none of us in f1blr who likes a male driver can pretend to be superior to liking a different one. at best they're better at keeping their mouths shut but they also permit and overlook a LOT. and yes, that includes Lewis even though my god he has a gigantic lead on the rest in terms of progressive actions and deeds compared to any other man in F1. and that while he still has unaddressed problematic associations and behavior, all of us white fans need to be fucking vigilant of going after him if we're not fully going ten times harder on the white drivers.

[marbleboa]

I'd like to write a little something something sakuyama but I cannot for the life of me decide which relationship scenario is best for them. Keeping relationship secret from claw? Koyama not caring to talk abt it but Sakurai HATES him to bc he doesn't mix personal with professional life? Actually hooking up after Claw disbanded? Been an item for several years and nobody knew?? I think every idea got its potential but I can't decide. What's your personal hc for em?

Right? There's so many possibilities--but that's the fun part about hc stuff like this, you don't necessarily have to stick to one idea for everything you make! We don't get much about the Scars' histories with the organization and each other prior to Season 1, plus the unknown happenings between seasons. It's always very fun to see the different interpretations people have and how they compare/contrast.

In regards to my own thoughts, I actually had been typing up a draft on ideas for the way their relationship develops over the course of the series so. Perfect timing. Hope you find these helpful!

Claw Era: Rivalry+mutual attraction turns into what's meant to be a solely physical relationship to let off steam. Despite their best efforts, something akin to affection starts to develop deep down--expressed subtly, of course(like this). Koyama doesn't give a damn about secrecy but Sakurai makes him keep quiet, more so out of his own pride than any fear of repercussions. For Claw, the vibe I got is that HQ doesn't care about the Scars as long as they do their jobs(getting each other injured would affect) so even if the matter somehow reached them they don't really care. Some of the other Scars know something's up but, well, those two are a dangerous pair--as long as they aren't killing each other, best not get involved.

Post-Fall of 7th Division: Sakurai still insists on getting involved in Koyama’s business even though he really has no obligation to with the organization gone. To his own denial and both of their irritation, Sakurai's grown to care about what happens to him. It’s because of his influence that Koyama joins the other former Scars despite 1. not being there for Reigen’s speech and 2. Being a stubborn asshole. On Koyama's end, Sakurai’s become a pretty big weakness of his. He still doesn't trust the others, doesn't trust this weird Reigen guy they've called in who's apparently a big deal, but he trusts Sakurai. Also if he behaves he gets to make out with a hot guy, so. Win.

Post-WD Arc: Sakurai lets Koyama live with him under the convenient excuse of sharing rent and giving a fellow ex-Scar some help while he finds work--but he needs Koyama just as much as Koyama needs him. With Claw gone there's no way back, and having someone at his side while he faces rejoining society is a mortifying yet undeniable comfort. For Koyama, he has a lot of doubt about the whole 'becoming a commoner' thing and starts off feeling aimless, but Sakurai ends up give him direction. Granted, that often comes in the form of his own concerns about Koyama's capacity for change inciting this weird kind of...positive spite. He wants to prove Sakurai wrong, prove himself to him, it's like their former rivalry but more constructive. This leads into them working with each other again, and they learn to settle into a more domestic life.

As a sort-of aside, I really like the idea of their relationship being built upon things unsaid—it’s not a conventional romance by any means. They bicker like an old married couple, are attached at the hip, clearly are the most important thing in the world to each other, but then look at you like you’ve got two heads if you ask if they’re dating.

God I don’t even know when they’d get around to bringing out the L word. Sakurai has so many hangups about his capacity to love/be loved from his upbringing—hearing something so overt might make him panic and try to withdraw if it isn’t done carefully. And Koyama, for all his growth at this point, still isn’t really in touch with his emotions enough that he’d be able to have those sort of deeper conversations easily. But it doesn’t mean the emotions aren’t there, you know? And in the end they’re happy with how they are, with taking anything the other is willing to give.

[enchantress-emily]

Good Omens Fic Recs, Round 2

Time for another rec post with some excellent GO fics that have been added to my AO3 bookmarks since the first time I did this!

Multichapter:

Villainous by @ineffablepenguin

Once Upon A Time…

There was a red-haired sorcerer who lived alone in a high tower, and a blond prince who lived in a palace full of people. And they were both of them desperately lonely.

The Kingdoms of Empyrion and the Sorcerers of Apollyon have hated each other for hundreds of years, ever since the Great War. They do not interact, other than to occasionally try to kill one another. And they certainly do not make friends.

Crow is an exhausted sorcerer who just wants everyone to leave him the hell alone: for the Sorcerer’s Council to stop harassing him to live up to his potential, and for wannabe Empyrion Heroes to stop attacking his tower to try and kill him. Until one day when he meets Prince Azra of the High Fells, who doesn’t behave anything like he’s supposed to…

A splendid adventure that brings in the vibes of multiple fairy tales and fantasy stories without being based on any specific one. (See the list of Easter egg references at the end!) It's made clear that Azra is noticeably chubby and that Crow wouldn't want him to be any other way, which is something I always appreciate in a fic. The spice level (E) is higher than I typically read, but the story is well worth a little awkward skimming of sex scenes.

Morningstar Abbey by @andromeda4004

No one who had ever seen Aziraphale Fell in his youth would have supposed him born to be a hero. His situation in life, the character of his father and mother, his own person and disposition, were all equally against him. But when a gentleman is to be a hero, the attractions of a comfortable, quiet home cannot prevent him. Something must and will happen to throw his destiny in his way.

One should never forget that between a hero and his destiny, one will always find a villain.

Trusting parish rector Aziraphale attempts to navigate Regency Bath, the marriage market, and the complexities of his own heart in this take on Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey, written for the Ineffably Austen event, March 2023.

I enjoyed this recently-completed fic very much! The author put a lot of thought into creating a more inclusive version of the Regency era, detailed in the author's notes at the end of each chapter. There's plenty of Georgette Heyer influence along with the Jane Austen.

What We Make of It (Shotgun Wedding) by charlottemadison

The important thing, Crowley tells himself -- the most important thing -- is Adam, his brilliant, creative, empathetic nephew. Being fourteen's hard enough; the kid didn't ask to deal with the weight of the world on top of it.

And if taking care of Adam means Crowley has to tough it out at a job he can’t stand, so be it.

And if Crowley's job means that Adam’s charming English teacher is NOT a romantic possibility, well, that's just how things go.

But the occasional drink with Aziraphale proves hard to resist. They frequent the same pub, so who can object to them saying hello? Briefly sharing a table? Perhaps a little conversation? The painful knowledge that it can’t be anything more -- not without somebody getting fired or sued or both -- well, that can't be helped.

Until Crowley stumbles onto a terribly reckless idea...

Oh my goodness, the gorgeous emotional intensity of this fic! It's the slowest of slow burns, but the pace allows ample room for the gradual realization (for both the characters and the reader) of just how well Crowley and Aziraphale's respective strengths and weaknesses mesh with each other to make a strong, stable whole. As I said about Villainous above, the story is very much worth having to skim over some scenes that are more explicit than I usually like.

You're Just a Little Under Rehearsed by MickyRC (@one-with-the-floor)

Drama teacher Crowley loves directing the Tadfield Community Players' shows—interacting with the rest of the staff at the community center, not so much. So when he meets the new accompanist for this year's musical, he's shocked to find that he might actually like him. Possibly more than like, if he's being honest.

Aziraphale is fresh from leaving a long career as a church pianist, and hoping that a new job will get him out of the lonely rut he's found himself in. The attention and kindness of the flashy community theater director are unexpected, but not unwelcome. Far from it.

But with a community theater to run, a show to put on, and a disgruntled R.P. Tyler looking for any excuse to get rid of Crowley and his theater program, will they be able to make a relationship work? And, more importantly, can they make sure the show still goes on?

Very fun and wholesome, packed with putting-on-a-play shenanigans (Peter Pan, in this case). The Crowley is Good With Kids AO3 tag is in full force here; his interactions with the younger members of the cast, especially the Them, are really well-done.

the many-venomed earth by curtaincall (@fremulon)

It’s the trial of the century: bestselling mystery author Anthony Crowley stands accused of poisoning his former lover. He’s got means (arsenic), motive (the breakup), and opportunity (a meeting the night of the murder); his guilt seems certain.

Certain, that is, to everyone except Lord Aziraphale Eastgate, rare book collector and amateur detective. Aziraphale’s not sure why he’s so convinced of Crowley’s innocence, but he’s determined to save him from the gallows--by finding the real murderer before it’s too late.

This is a mashup with Strong Poison, one of Dorothy Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey/Harriet Vane novels, and the combination works really well. Peter’s intelligence and post-case moral qualms both transfer nicely onto Aziraphale, and the plot and characters hit the same beats as the original novel without being an exact copy.

Oneshots:

A Soft Kind of Strength by @anonymousdandelion

"Y’r soft,” Crowley mumbles one day, drowsily nuzzling into Aziraphale’s well-cushioned lap. “Ssosoft.”

Aziraphale blinks, smiles bemusedly, and ruffles his partner’s hair. “Yes, dear, I’m well aware. Go back to sleep.”

“Ssssoft,” Crowley repeats, more insistently, and it seems he hasn’t quite dozed off again after all, fixated now on whatever thought grabbed his half-asleep and half-inebriated brain. He lifts his head, rolling so he’s looking up into Aziraphale’s face. “You. Soft. S’good. Good thing. Y’know that, that, that s’good, right?”

I'm a big fan of Soft Aziraphale (in every sense of the word), and this sweet fic makes the excellent point that, rather than his being secretly strong under the softness, his softness is his strength.

Temperance by effing_gravity

In the wake of the Fauxpocalypse, Aziraphale does his utmost to live his best and pettiest life.

In which Aziraphale makes a point of both consciously ignoring Gabriel's remarks about the shape of his corporation and dispensing blessings and gentle encouragement to humans struggling with their own body image issues.

Keeping Tabs by @a-case-of-the-hiccups and FriendshipCastle

A juxtaposition of Heaven's archive of Aziraphale's miracles compared with the sadly lacking state of Hell's temptation logs.

This fic was obviously written by people with cataloguing experience! I like the OCs in charge of Heaven and Hell’s respective departments, especially the tetchy, bespectacled archivist angel Pravuil.

Adopt Don't Shop by @luckyspike

Inspired by Chekhov's cat AU comics 'Good Meowmens', here is a fanfic in which Anathema and Newt are humans, and Aziraphale and Crowley are cats. Not disguised as cats, not trapped in cat bodies, just actual elderly cats that are inseparable.

A truly excellent bit of crack! Aziraphale and Crowley’s personalities come out surprisingly clearly in their cat selves. For extra fun, play spot-the-angel/demon with the other cats at the shelter!

[ahollowgrave]

Hiiiii Pigeon!!!! I saw you comment that you like the Locked Tomb series so I had a couple questions to ask...

Are Odette's little skele friends inspired by the vibe of the series?

Does Odette herself have an inspirations that come from the Locked Tomb as well?

What's your favorite character interaction in the series so far? (Mine is the Harrow Bone Soup)

Who is your favorite of the main protags? (I've got a soft spot for Nona, but its barely above the other two.)

That's all for now, hope your day is going well! ^.^

Oh my gosh hello!! The Locked Tomb has been my favorite series since I read the first book a few years ago! I was obsessed I was full in I hadn’t been that into reading since high school when I would read in the back of every class. Never has a book made me ugly cry so hard.

The second book is the main reason I write in 2nd person POV for Odette most of the time (‘:

I’m gonna slap the rest of this under a readmore just in case people don’t want to hear about the books or don’t want things spoiled on accident !! But also this kind of turned into a long explanation of Odette’s whole deal, sorry (mwah).

But! To answer your questions!

1&2:) Yes. Pretty heavily but maybe not obviously? Like. Harrow and Odette would not get a long and Odette as she is does not fit the Necromancer vibes of the ninth house. But I was so enamored by these goth nuns being so out of place and so devoted and Harrow being so!!!!! Ready to ruin her life for her faith because she needed her faith so badly to cope with the grief.

And then the way it just all!!!! gestures.

Odette was always going to be a nun, as a result, and the psychopomp stuff felt right after I’d been playing her for a while. We run into Ashkin/undead several times in the MSQ, side quests, and fates and the like; someone being able to aid these ‘souls’ and return them to the lifestream feels like a role for Odette.

She would maybe make more sense being a nun of Nald’thal but I headcanon that each of the 12 have their own funeral rites. Nald’thal is the judge of all dead, that is his role! But each of the 12 get a say in how their faithful are laid to rest. A psycopomp’s role, traditionally, is not judgement but guidance and love knows no judgement, but she does know guidance.

The moths in her screenshots are souls themselves, flocking to Odette for aid in whatever form that means. Sometimes it means slaying their body so they can rest, sometimes it means cleaning their resting place or returning items stolen by graverobbers, sometimes it means finishing anything unfinished they have left, or solving their death or just finding them and laying them to rest. Each soul needs something different.

The skeletons originally were a metaphor and a call back to that root influence of the Ninth house. With encouragement from friends, though, they’ve become much more ‘real’ in her canon. Serving as her trust and guardians on more dangerous searches. (When None can’t join her but also sometimes with None!)

So you can see it’s a very loose influence, but the 1st book is 100% the reason Odette exists. Death nuns??? Please… What a gift.

I have a Locked Tomb AU with my friend, peep, in which Odette is the Ninth house Cav and Avidia the Third House Reject turned Ninth House Necromancer. The Cav/Necromancer relationship is sooo intense and I love reading into to them too much, as does peep, so it’s very fun for us. Would third house ever send one of their necro to the ninth house? No! Probably not! But Avidia must always be a reluctant ex-pat, and so! (It’s a complicated story but we really like it LMAO takes place far before the first book)

Ahem!

3:) The soup scene is SO good, I reread it a few times because it was just so!!! Amazing. This is such a hard question because so many of the scenes are so good.

Three-Way with God is good. Ianthe’s Arm Scene (SCREAMS!!!) The pool scene from book one is ofc a fav but ugh.

The one I think about the most is from book three and it’s a tie, I think, between tree moments at the very end of the book.

Paul’s (re?)birth and “You can’t take loved away.” and “Why are you not appeased? That is how meat loves meat.”

I can’t wait for Alecto the Ninth, truthfully !!

4:) GOSH! This is hard also!!! Nona is also a favorite of mine and I know she has influenced Odette heavily. She’s just so!!! Nona loves you!!! I hope we get to see some of her again, just glimpses, now that she’s been returned. Sobs into my hands for four days straight.

I think Camilla Hect is one of my favorites and Sex Pal, of course. Which means Paul… Paul… my love I can’t wait to know you.

You didn’t ask this question, but I do think there is a lot of Hect in my alt Prudence. That quiet competence and skill, that devotion, that dry wit.

Thank you so much for this ask and also your patience while I replied to it! I love these books very, very much and I always love to talk about them. Are any of your characters influenced by them @eorzeanflowers?

[webbywatcheshorror]

Webby Reviews Horror: Saw (2004)

You (probably) know what Saw is. On the slim chance you're one of today's lucky 10,000 who doesn't, it's a movie about a serial killer who puts his victims in deadly traps in order to teach them a lesson about valuing their lives, asking them what acts of violence or self-harm would they commit to keep themselves or their loved ones alive?

I won't lie to you. Saw is one of my favorite movies of all time, above almost all others. I've mentioned on a few other reviews how much I loved them, how much they influenced me, but this one blows them all away. It came out on video around when I was 15 or 16, and back then I hadn't had a lot of real experience with horror as a genre, but I thought I knew enough about it. And I didn't care much for it. (I used to be a huge wuss. I still am, but I used to be, too.)

Then my dad brought this movie home, and when I finally got around to watching it, I was entirely and irrevocably altered. Suddenly I realized that I knew absolute jack shit about horror. Its potential, the kinds of stories you could tell, the effects it can have on an audience. Without Saw, I would be an entirely different person, and I know how that sounds. I really do. But it's the truth.

Anyway, I said all that to impress upon you how very incredibly biased I am when it comes to this movie, so you can keep it in mind as we dive into more specific things during the review.

Another thing to keep in mind is that I am looking at this as a standalone film, and not the first of a franchise of films. (I might, sometime in the future, review the series as a whole, but not today.)

Review under the cut, and as always beasties and ghouls, SPOILERS ahead! (Yes. There are people who haven't seen this movie. Why they'd be reading this, I have no idea, but that's their business.)

Where do I even begin with Saw. I could talk for hours about it, the characters, the tragedy of it all, the in-universe details and the real life behind the scenes stuff. I am fully enamored with this film.

We'll start with the cinematography, since I'm not very knowledgeable on the topic and I'm less likely to ramble endlessly about it.

The scenes of the other victims in their traps, where it speeds up, really gives them a sense of mania, of panic. It really adds to the terror of the situation and gives these characters we get to see so briefly some needed characterization with the camera work alone. In fact, every time they do the choppy editing, it lends a feeling of tension that permeates the entire movie.

There's a scene, one of many, that has stuck with me these past 19 years, and it's the shot of little Diana Gordon sitting up in bed, half her bedroom shrouded in the darkness. On first watch, it's deeply unsettling, but even after you know who it is, it doesn't get any less fucking terrifying. One of my fears is the dark, not being able to see into a room or the entire room, because of scenes like this.

The characters. Good god, do I love the characters in Saw. They're complicated, flawed, neither good nor evil but a secret third thing: deeply human. (Except John Kramer, but we'll get to that.) They're all just People, trying to make it through the day, however they can. Adam, trying to pay his bills and keep himself fed by spying on people; Lawrence, dealing with the stress of being a doctor and a father who's lost his joie de vivre and decides to cheat on his wife about it; Tapp, wracked with guilt over losing his partner and letting Jigsaw escape, throwing everything he has into stalking the wrong man at the cost of his own health. The more we learn about these characters, the more fascinating they become to me.

Let's talk about John for a moment. More articulate people than I could tell you, in rich detail, about why he's not a savior, but I tend to just boil it down to this: you can't 'fix' people with trauma. I think John is evil, or close to it. Look at the people he chooses to punish- Paul, who cuts himself; Mark, who claims to be sick but is also seen out and about; Amanda, a drug addict. Paul could have depression or some other mental illness. Mark could have an illness that is only debilitating /some/ of the time. Amanda has an addiction problem. You know what would have actually helped them? A fucking support system. Some understanding. Not additional issues, JOHN.

John is, despite his tendency to target those already struggling, still an interesting person, as Zep says. He's also a hypocrite of the highest degree. Shaming Adam for being a voyeur, but drugging himself so he can lay in the middle of the bathroom floor for who even knows how many hours just so he can watch Adam and Lawrence fumble around? Pot meet kettle situation.

(I'm trying to keep this from becoming an entire-ass essay, I really am, but as I mentioned, I could do this all day.)

Adam and Lawrence's transformation throughout the movie is so intriguing to me. Lawrence, the logical Father Knows Best guy, used to always being the one in control of any given situation. Adam, low on the social ladder, prone to emotional outbursts, used to being kicked when he's down. By the end, they've become entirely different men.

Lawrence changes into an unthinking mess, acting on his out of control emotional state to an extreme degree, while Adam becomes a man who not only finally wants to live, but puts in the work to prove it, attacking Zep and killing him, with the kind of determination he hadn't shown until that moment.

The twist is still just so good. It was mind blowing then, and it's a great story beat today, almost 20 years later. When John sits up, Hello Zep playing in the background... it still gives me chills. To think of how Adam must feel, alone in a room with nothing but the dead for company, waiting on the promise of a severely injured man, thinking it's finally over.

Adam's screaming into the darkness breaks me a little, I won't lie. The horror of his situation finally overcomes him and all he can do is scream. That sound is burned into my brain, possibly for life. Then, the credits roll, with the calmness of the credits, Adam's cries still echoing before the quiet music begins to play, and the audience is left stunned. No relief for us, no relief for Adam.

In the years before the sequels, there was so much talk among my friends and I about what could have happened afterwards. Did Lawrence make it out? Did Jigsaw ever get caught? Did Adam die alone in that grimy bathroom? I used to make up possibilities in my head about ways Adam could be saved.

You see, I've always identified with Adam. Struggling to keep going, feeling outcast, chained in a place we didn't want to be, having to rely on others for help getting out, dismissed as juvenile, clinging to people that hate us because it's better than being alone, and wasting our lives because we weren't living them the way others thought we should, regardless of WHY. I had always hoped he made it out. Maybe in some other reality he does.

Anyway enough about that, let's move on. One thing of many I love about this movie is how it makes you think, really think, about what you would do if this happened to you. Would you, could you, crawl through a cage of razor wire to save yourself? Could you kill the family of a co-worker to save your own skin? Could you maim or dismember yourself?

There's an excellent podcast, Jigsquad Pod, that talks about this next point, but I have to mention it also. Jigsaw feels like a boogeyman figure. He sees your every sin. He judges you, then takes you from your place of safety- your house, on the way home from work, and punishes you. It can happen to anyone, anywhere. He can't be caught, can't be killed. He's a phantom. I love that feeling in this movie, the almost campfire story of it all, the way you might tell it to your friends in hushed voices at a sleepover.

I give Saw X ghosts outta ten. It may not be the movie James Wan and Leigh Whannell set out to make, it may have been rushed and stitched together out of all the footage they had and then some, but it's a masterpiece in my heart. It changed me, in hundred of ways I can't begin to understand, but I'm glad it did. (Not all of those ways are for the better, probably. I mean, I did spend several hours once, thinking up- in detail- what my personal Saw trap would be.)

As much as I love the entire franchise overall, cop-centric soap opera that it is, if it had stopped at just this one, I'd still be satisfied. I hope it never gets a remake, because there's no way it could ever be made more perfectly than it already is, flaws and all.

[stupidsexpotflanders]

Veronica mars (series) or the good place (series)?

*Stretches fingers* This anon probably wants to see me get beat up,lol.

Both of them started really strong,but somewhat betrayed their core messages and shat on their own feast.

The winner is Veronica Mars,tho. The feast wasn't wholy ruined,I can salvage by doing my own thing,and there are plenty of people whose homes I can dine at(namely,ao3 and ffn).

Controversial opinions under the cut.

The Good Place started to go downhill on season 3,but the whole "modernity is why everyone goes to the Bad Place" was the cause of death,thinking back. And I have three reasons:

It's anti-historical. Colonization,exploitation and warfare had always existed. Yes,modern Doug got dinged because his cellphone was made on a sweatshop,the roses were planted by exploited workers and the CEO was a creep. However,there was a risk for negative points to ancient Doug as well. He used tools to plant those roses. How were those metals mined? Also,the land. Maybe it was conquered on a brutal war,or anything like that;

It ignores the positives of modernity. I'm not denying the world is still horrible in many ways,but the quality of life of the average human vastly improved throughout history. The medicine,for example. People were being maimed and killed by diseases we have eradicated by now,not to mention how what we know by basic hygiene(washing one's hands,covering own mouth when sneezing) nowadays are literal life savers. Not to mention how the world wide web itself - people can help other people with what's basically pocket money,local tragedies get international support sometimes,groups fighting regional injustices get to influence other people to do the same. Also,all kinds of information,knowing people from all over the world with ease. And that leads to my thrid point. Also,human rights. Things are far from perfect,but pretending we didn't make any advancement is just as counterproductive as pretending everything is perfect;

Despite telling it's pro-human,The Good Place doesn't show it,IMO. They mentioned all the pitfalls of (modern) Earth and decided the sollution was having 4 humans on an aferlife controlled by supernatural beings,and if they earned "paradise" if the got "good enough". The Earth was basically ignored by the narrative when dealing with the whole "everyone goes to the Bad Place". There was little to no appreciation for humanity and it's flawed,messy beauty. Bonus point - it's thesis about death was stupid,IMO. "Life is meaningful because it ends" is an okay message,but having a door one can go whenever they want kinda ruins the point. For humans,life is short(8-12 decades at most) and random(diseases,accidents). Therefore,each moment is precious.

Tahani's and Michael's ending were perfect,tho. They were experimenting new things. Jason should've been chilling and meditating in The Real Good Place for eternity,like a real monk,speaking wisdom to other residents and eventually turned into stardust by spontaneously transcending(maybe his sparkles would influence people on Jacksonville to do good). Eleanor and/or Chidi should've gone to Earth in order to help people out(two writing problems solved). It would respect Eleanor's own words "I know we're doomed,but why not try? Better than not trying!". As for Chidi,he had an innate desire to do good things and (supposedly) learned anything he could've. So why not putting said knowledge to good use in a complicated environment?

Now,onto Veronica Mars. Many people said it better than me,but her character was more or less ruined in Season 4. Basically it was:character regression,glorification of trauma,narratively undermining her relationships... However,Veronica was a glorious character from S1 to Mr. Kiss and Tell. Besides,seeing her finding herself at the movie was amazing. Weevil is also consistently a marvelous character,even being shafted in S4.

Now,onto my massively unpopular opinion: I'm not fond of adult!Logan. He has amazing chemistry with Veronica and is a generally healthier,gentler person but often feels underwritten. And said problem is with him as a Navy officer and a supposed good guy.

My issue it's not that he joined the Navy nor about him benefitting the structure,but how the armed forces are treated not only as perfect but as an automatic sign of a healthy moral compass. It goes against one of the main themes of the franchise. There's police corruption,political corruption,classism,racism,sexism,corporate corruption(Veronica's lawyering job in the firm comes to mind). But somehow,the military is immune to crooked people in power misusing it or being in cahoots with bad people for their own gain. I believe there should be some sort of betrayed idealism from Logan when facing the harsh reality,if he was to be a guy who truly cares about the world and wants to make a positive difference. At the same time,Lt. Echolls could be fighting the good fight from the inside - like someone who knows the ugly truth but keeps being unwaveringly optmistic and truly believes the institution. To top it all,there's no mention of him doing charity or activism(yes,there's the "cycling to save the planet",but I didn't get a hardcore environmental discipline at uni to believe 1(one) guy riding a bicycle is going to do anything about air pollution. Really,Hollywood writers are allergic to Social Studies,lol). It becomes even worse when remebering this is a franchise with delightful good guys like Keith and Wallace 🤡 Thank god for fanfics,tho. They can make Logan an actual hero.

However,Logan's surface-level goodness can be quite interesting if not taken at face value,IMO. He never comments on Neptune's corruption nor makes any complaints about moral complications at his service(someone as outspoken and perceptive as Logan would've noticed and done someting about it - even in the shape of small everyday actions). On the other hand,Logan made a quip about "missing money and power" to Veronica in MKAT. Maybe he wasted it all in his downward spiral- spending on parties/drugs/fair-weather friends,paying off threats(he beat up a guy that belonged to the Russian Mob),probably bailing himself out of jail. And I think that's the one that happened. The Navy gave him structure,discipline and a steady income. So,he didn't give a fuck about actually doing good for anyone outside of his circle. I've seen anayses about how teen!Logan was the femme fatale(no,I won't switch genders) and turned into the solid love interest. To me,the guy manages spectacularly to be both. He's a helpful,caring boyfriend to Carrie and Veronica,but also the perfect Navy Officer. Veronica Mars(and most noir works) questions things that look too flawless and pristine and invites a second look onto it. Therefore,it's logical to imagine Logan being ambitious,ruthless and willing to do anything to get any mission accomplished. Kind of a state-sanctioned mercenary. In fact,that's more or less the angle I'm going for in my fanfic about him(shameless self-promotion).

The winner is Veronica Mars. Besides being more or less consistent with it's themes(they fail,but it's still enjoyable when rewatching scenes,whereas The Good Place is retroactively ruined and only good through gifs and memes). Also,many bad parts of VM can be fixed by making my own headcanons,whereas the bad of The Good Place irrevocably taints the whole thing. To top it all,there aren't many tgp fans unsatisfied with their own show. Glad for them,but many of the fix-it fics in the vm fandom are amazing