#but i have no idea how to help in actuality which makes her reliance so fucking terrifying man

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 3, Side A, Match 4

propaganda under the cut!

Junnana:

Oh they are so very silly and I adore them. They basically spent the anime being the most married couple there, the game amplifying that and the movie burning that all to the ground (or Nana did that) before vowing to start a new later. They're just a girl reaching for her dreams without a ton of natural talent and a girl who enjoys helping her friends shine instead of herself despite being super skilled but even though they have slightly different goals on the stage they both respect each other so very much to the point where things only go wrong in the movie because Nana lost a bit of the respect for Junna that was always so fundamental in their dynamic. The Overture manga gives a bit of insight into what their early interactions were like especially in their respective focus chapters (3 and 9), with 3 showing that Nana was planning on becoming their class president rather than Junna but stepped down just because she had so much trust in her abilities while still making it clear that Junna could rely on her while in 9 the mutual reliance came back in the form of Junna being the one to make Nana realize she wasn't alone. Carrying onwards to the anime, some time before the whole thing, Nana decided "hey time loops are pretty cool" because she was afraid of her and her friends growing up and separating. This was not a fact known by anybody but her and that one giraffe and did not affect the early plot, where for the most part Junna was more focused on due to her struggles being highlighted from the moment revues were introduced and Nana was just constantly around her. Then Junna ended up being the first person Nana actually told about them directly (and not in a very vague way in a revue because otherwise Hikari would be the first) because it was looking like said loops were about to end because the childhood friends to lovers dynamic as a whole decided to say nuh uh to her. Then she did in fact lose her next revue which made the idea of continuing her repetitions a little impossible but Junna ended up recovering from that whole shock pretty quickly, and went to comfort Nana and help her learn to start anew. 

Then there's the game which. yeah there's so much stuff in there that I can't even explain it all. In the main story we get the arc of Nana starting her overprotective bs once again, getting stopped and then being given more courage to move forward by Junna since she was realizing that she kind of messed up (since she decided to object to the concept of plays just having lead actors in general. as you do), but there's so much stuff outside of the main story. Highlights include: Junnana literally making up their own ship name, Nana deciding the best way to practice for a role centered around an observant character was to observe Junna specifically, Nana writing a self-indulgent Phantom of the Opera adaptation with herself as the Phantom and Junna as Christine in an event where it turned out she relates to the Phantom (red flag #1 as far as I'm concerned) and wrote Christine based on Junna (Junna was very okay with this but I find it hilarious that she made her adaption of a famous play basically self insert fanfiction), the actual Junnana kiss (stage kiss?? real kiss?? we'll never know), the Valentine's Day event where Junna kept saying things like "oh I'd go to any lengths for Nana" while talking about making chocolate of all things, the time Junna talked about how she wouldn't let anybody take her place of staying right by Nana's side if she had to because she loves being there completely out of the blue to Nana's ex of all people (not a canon ex but a lot of people who know about her whole deal with Nana at least agree that they had something going on. and let me tell you Junna telling the person who constantly regrets not having the strength to remain by Nana's side how much she loved being with Nana was not a smart choice, even though Hisame, the girl in question, took it very well), the Steins;Gate collab where a good chunk of the plot is just Junna being worried about Nana, a play where it turned out that the whole time Junna and Nana had both taken inspiration from each other for their roles, the time they had to actively stop themselves during separate interviews from just rambling about each other, etc. There's so much. Also I forgot to mention it during the main story part but there's also an alternate universe briefly discussed where one of their friends just does not exist so Nana is one of the two best actors in the class and gets the lead role in the play they perform every year, and there's a scene after their performance where Junna talks about how, in the play which is a tragedy involving two lesbians in love, Nana's performance made her think that, if she had stood as her co-star, she would have simply been built different and prevented the tragedy from happening. The plot ends with one character falling form a tower and another being imprisoned within it, and Junna is like "if I was this tragedy and I was with you I would have simply taken your character's hand and never let her go". They're just so married in the game and I can't believe them for it

And then there's the movie. We don't talk about the movie but I kind of have to. Okay so you remember those two friends I was talking about who act very married and ultimately have a lot of their relationship based around their mutual respect for each other? What if Nana stopped respecting Junna entirely one day? That's their movie arc. This movie covers the girls "dying" as stage girls (ie. losing what made them true stage girls/actors in the first place) and then being "reborn" as them, and unfortunately Nana is of the opinion that Junna could just simply have her symbolism death and not the other part. During their revue, Nana talks a lot about how beautiful and dazzling (using those exact words. she even called Junna heartbreakingly beautiful in the dub) Junna was when she was foolishly reaching for a role she wasn't likely to get, but put it all in past tense, and encouraged Junna to let herself die as a stage girl in a brilliant manor rather than trying and failing to grasp her brilliance and dying out like that. also she called her an ugly fruit which sure is something. Then Junna was like "???? no I won't do that actually???" and took one of Nana's swords from her to engage in a sword fight since Nana had destroyed her usual weapon. Which was not a great matchup briefly because Junna never used a sword in her life but after Nana realized that the Junna she was fighting was different from the Junna she knew, and didn't match the role she had assigned for her, Junna ended up telling Nana that her own role was something she'd define for herself and not something Nana could assign for her, and ended up winning against her. After the revue was over, Junna still wanted Nana in her life, and promised her that, one day, they'd reunite on a stage which belonged to both of them, even though they had to find their own stages before that could happen. Before they departed, Nana lamented that Junna was dazzling, contradicting her previous belief that she was only dazzling in the past, all while beginning to cry, and Junna nearly turned around to comfort her, but ultimately decided to continue onto her next stage as Nana carried onwards to her own, knowing that they would both need to grow before their reunion. I also want to mention that, during this scene, a picture of the two of them, one which Nana had stabbed through the middle as she was telling Junna how dazzling she thought she once was, had since been moved to a little pond in the background of the scene (and of the background of the start of the whole revue, so it was there the whole time) that was nearly identical to the one where Junna and Nana had had their moment of comfort at the end of episode 9 of the anime. With the middle of the picture being soaked in water, it ended up sinking just enough for the new cut in the middle of the picture to appear almost mended, showing that, while the damage Nana had done and the rift between them was still there, it was already starting to mend as they once again regarded each other as equals. This scene lives in my head constantly and haunts me daily. Congratulations to Junnana for having a divorce arc as high schoolers

Soriku:

Ultimate friends to lovers. They've been best friends since childhood but as they start to grow up, those feelings change into a more romantic nature but neither handles this well. Riku in particular has a whole villain arc about it bc his insecurities about the situation get the better of him, meanwhile Sora isn't self aware enough to recognize his feelings are romantic in nature but he spends all of his time desperately trying to get Riku back so they can be together again. Ultimately even after they come together, their love continues to be a main driving force of the narrative and it's so palpable

[potatoobsessed999]

Thinking about the commonalities in Dracula between cutting-edge (for the period) innovations and traditions from past centuries that have passed out of common knowledge. (I do want to mention that according to the text these traditions clearly haven’t passed out of common Transylvanian knowledge, but since Stoker treats traveling eastward as functionally equivalent to traveling into the past, for our Western-European protagonists it comes to more or less the same thing.) Under the cut for length.

The protagonists have been using both modern innovation and forgotten tradition to try and thwart Drac - Jonathan’s use of shorthand and even his journey by train to Budapest are both modern, but the crucifix the innkeeper gave him is more traditional; Lucy is kept alive via modern blood transfusions and traditional garlic flowers (which themselves are only available out of season from a modern greenhouse); Van Helsing has to return to Amsterdam to get his books, which presumably cover folkloric traditions such as the garlic, but he’s only able to go back and forth so quickly because of modern transportation.

I know quite a few people in the tag have already brought up this mingling of old and new, but what’s really striking to me is how much Drac operates in the lacuna between these two sources of knowledge. I remember someone mentioning that Mrs. Westenra was probably brought up believing in miasma theory, which would explain why she thought the garlic smell would be bad for Lucy’s health - but she was not brought up on the superstitions/folkloric traditions that would have warned her Lucy’s illness was not mundane, and that the garlic’s presence was protective. The Transylvanian peasants’ traditions obviously didn’t prevent Drac from terrorizing them, but they did help - if they hadn’t, he would presumably not be bothering to move to England. (I also think the relative infrequency of Drac’s and his roommates’ feedings while Jonathan was in the castle might be due to those traditional protections making vulnerable prey scarce.)

One thing that’s really interesting to me about this dynamic is that it positions the Enlightenment as - not necessarily a bad but a dangerous thing. By pivoting to a new worldview, a new philosophy of knowledge, Western Europe has discarded old beliefs that did genuinely hold great value - and even as technology improves, gaps are left where old knowledge would have served but new knowledge has not yet advanced enough to fill. The suggestion seems to be that an inaccurate scientifically-based worldview is more dangerous than a folklorically-based one - see Mrs. Westenra and miasma theory. Neither is the folklorically-based worldview devoid of truth or merit. I do think the text suggests that the scientific worldview is superior - look at the Transylvanian peasants’ cowed terror and their purely defensive anti-Dracula measures, vs. Van Helsing’s proactive blood transfusions saving someone who’s actually been bitten already - but it isn’t presented as infallibly accurate, and without a supplemental reliance on tradition it leaves dangerous gaps in the characters’ understanding. (Such as Seward’s complete misunderstanding of the reasons behind Renfield’s actions.)

Ultimately, the most important thing is knowledge, whether that knowledge is old or new - and the protagonists are best able to combat Dracula’s efforts when they combine those sources, patching holes in the one with information from the other. Conversely, Drac relies on others’ ignorance, whether that be Jonathan’s dismissal of the villagers’ warnings as baseless superstition or Mrs. Westenra’s mistaken belief that bad smells will make her daughter sicker. And it’s by friendship, cooperation, and interchange of ideas - both between individuals and between worldviews - that the protagonists are able to fight back.

[zeb-z]

this is me asking you about the qsmp star wars au so you have an excuse to talk more. I'm asking about [insert what you want to talk about here]

rahhhhhhh I’m gonna talk about Etoiles and Roier and lightsabers oh my :]

So Etoiles is definitely a Zelosian - which are literal sentient plants. They’ve got green blood that is more chlorophyll than anything, and can photosynthesize, able to survive up to two months on purely starlight and water. This is something Etoiles relies on maybe a little more than he should, during longer missions when they’re pressed for supplies.

And Roier! He’s humanoid, nothing too special about him, other than his pilot skills and sensitivity to the force. Whatever level of force sensitive that gives him the equivalent to a “spidey sense” if you will, I feel like that’s fitting. He’s definitely a frequent competitor in various ship and pod races across the outer and mid rim, the more dangerous the better - he enjoys the thrill, and the way the unpredictability of it all puts his skills to the test. At some point, he puts good use of those skills to the rebellion, eventually becoming a commander of his own squadron of dogfighters. Your classic X wing space jockey, flying by the seat of his pants with more wisecracks than the carbon scoring left on his hull after a fight.

Rivers is a fellow racer who may or may not find her way to Roier’s squadron fighting for the rebellion. She’s excellent in the cockpit, and excellent on the ground as a soldier, a fighter.

There aren’t a lot of lightsaber users right now, but I’m looking for literally any excuse to give my faves a lightsaber because that’s bitchin. Etoiles has one he took from a fallen Jedi, which he doesn’t use often. He doesn’t have any proper training other than basic similar weapons training until Phil’s little rebellion cell merges with his, and he trains him in what stances he can manage without the force. He gets shockingly good at deflecting shots, considering he’s guided by instinct and practice, and not the force.

Phil, for one of the only Jedi, actually doesn’t have his lightsaber. It fell from his belt sometime during the chaos of the Imperial raid when he had to get his family to safety - Missa had managed to pick it up, but never got to give it back before they were separated. It’s less of a loss and more of a reassurance, honestly, to know that Missa has it. Wherever his husband is, at least he’s protected by his finest weapon when he can’t be there to protect him himself. His saber never let him down when he had used it - he has confidence it won’t let Missa down.

Missa only gets by with a lot of reliance on the force. He’s not completely defenseless or helpless by any means, but he’s no trained warrior. It helps that the saber wants to work with him, the kyber core wanting to protect Missa just as much as Phil does. Like saber like wielder. And when they’re reunited, Phil still has Missa keep it on him, unless he absolutely needs it.

Pac has held a lightsaber before, but has never truly used one in combat. It was for a job he took, part of the cargo he was told explicitly not to look into for a large sum of credits. Of course he looked. But I think the idea of him, in some crazy moment of being attacked by some Inquisitor, having to use the saber in a barely survivable defense, is sick as hell. I think there’s an au of this au where he double wields in fact.

Speaking of double wielding, when Phil gets his saber back and lets Etoiles mess around with both sabers, he absolutely settles on reverse grip, think Ahsoka from tcw.

Foolish doesn’t have any sort of sabers, and he knows how dangerous they are from seeing the Inquisitors in action. However, he does have a few kyber crystals kept away, which is an impressive amount due to their rarity and value, and definitely illegal contraband he should not have. Leo’s favorite is a rather large purple one, in entirely intact and pristine condition. He’d make it into jewelry, some sort of necklace for her, if it weren’t so valued. If he didn’t get the feeling that cracking it into pieces or using it as ornamentation would somehow hurt the thing. Instead it remains at home, their most beloved possession.

Cellbit has a crystal necklace he doesn’t know is kyber, cracked and not quite red but it definitely changes hues and intensity over his life. Upon finding the significance of the force, and the way kyber connects to it, he tries his best to heal the crystal. Symbolism about trying to work through trauma and personal growth or something like that, yknow? When he marries Roier, the ring goes on the same string during investigations, so it never gets lost.

[phuljari]

incoming rant: the robotification of women

teri baaton mein aisa uljha jiya (2024) is among the latest movies in the genre of science fiction romance. it reminded me of an old itv show bahu hamari rajnikant (2016) , while i wasn't an avid watcher of the latter, i knew of it's existence. why did it remind of that particular sitcom? well, mainly because of the comedy. but it also reminded me of similar themes in english movies like ex machina (2015), wifelike (2022), archive (2020) and her (2013), which is surely a bit far fetched considering that in her, the ai never had a body. only a voice.

here, i think it's impertinent to also acknowledge male robots in indian cinema, like chitti from robot/enthiran (2010) and g.one from ra.one (2011) even though he wasn't an actual robot? i don't know if he classifies as one. so let's say, non-human, programming-based male entity (nhpbme). similar to samantha in her, a non-human, programming-based female entity (nhpbfe).

so yes, while male robots and nhpbme do exist in the sci-fi romance genre, it's the comparatively larger robotification of women that feeds the male gaze, and the patriarchy by an extention— which is ultimately problematic.

coming to the movie that i actually want to discuss, kriti sanon's sifra, in tbmauj, is the perfect lover, perfect bahu. why? she knows everything aaru (shahid kapoor) likes and wants. she has no chik-chik or tantrums like other girls. she can make cuisines from all around the world, can access everything on the internet quickly. she has perfect skin, perfect hair. probably doesn't age too. she is the dream girl of a typical man. she doesn't have her own opinions or problems, she serves him and him alone. no family of hers to care about, she can care about his family and their needs. the female gendering here acts like objectification.

the worst part of this movie was that it didn't do anything? since it was a comedy, it didn't delve deeper into the nuances of increasing technological reliance that humans have. i think it was probably meant as a warning— when sifra malfunctions and starts executing tasks that were deleted. but even at that, it fails because urmila's (dimple kapadia) company (so intelligently named) e-robots/robotex (something stupid like that), ends up launching her along with few other robots. only adds a dialogue which meant that you need to handle these robots responsibly. then, what was the point of all the testing they tried to do? placing her in different environments like india, when they don't really end up rethinking the whole idea or putting in more safety features? of course, there's no deeper meaning here. indian comedies don't really have subtext.

but it's perpetuates the same old concept of subservient women. rule-followers and caregivers. an image etched in stone. why do women ask– what do men want? men want this, an ideal version. have always wanted. fuelled by the unrealistic p*rn depictions. do they ever think what women want? aaru so casually tells off his friend who has a wife to look at how pathetic his own life is. he defends sifra's un-emotional response to a situation by attacking his friend's relationship asking if human women are any better?

it reminded me of wifelike (2022) where female robots are curated according to a person's need, a replication of their dead spouse. to love them, to serve them, to help them come out of grief. it's so funny to me how in tbmauj, sifra is shown to retain her feelings, getting jealous when aaru interacts with another woman despite getting reprogrammed; compared to how in wifelike, the robotic version of the human it was based on, always ended up leaving the husband because the human version never loved him.

isn't it interesting how female robots instantly get sexualised, and are depicted doing things that one would never ask their girlfriend or wife to do? these robots happily perform roles that are stereotypically feminine, wife-like. they're invented to put aside their feelings (if they have them) to take care of their human partners'. sifra cooks perfect food, emphasized by how many time aaru fired his maid for not cooking things the way he likes it. she probably doesn't have mood swings from periods because she's a robot. she doesn't eat, doesn't get out of shape. and most importantly, she doesn't age (cue: i'll get old but your lovers stay my age). as if the expectations from women aren't enough, that they're required to age gracefully, or best option— not age at all.

if you still don't get it, let me remind you how siri and alexa also end up on the same side of gender spectrum— female.

so the message is, guys, don't give up on your dream girl! you'll surely find a robot that satisfies all your needs! 🙄

men want perfect women, but women can't be robots. let's stop perpetuating the same image and setting unrealistic standards. real humans have real problems, deal with them.

[justanothersquidblog]

ohohoh questions!

-What are all the dynamics between kwami and holders? Does Trixx Nooro and maybe Pollen approve of what deep cut are doing? I’d think Tikki and Callie would get along. Also since Callie and Marie know each other’s identities how do Plagg and Callie get along, same for Tikki and Marie?

-so what’s your idea for how Pavo uses Amoks? Does she mostly use her own emotions or does she make amoks from other ppls emotions?

-how did Callie and Marie get the miraculous in the first place? Same for Pearl and Marina.

-can you tell me more about Tartar? What would he have his wish be? He’s very punchable I hope Ahato or Callie gets to punch him

-what point do Cerise/Pavo fall for each other?

-what is public opinion on all these guys?

HELLO IM AWAKE NOW HAHAHAH TIME TO ANSWER ..OH GOD OK I WROTE A LOT SO UM. UH- HERE'S A READ MORE THERE YOU GO EVERYTHING IS RIGHT UNDER THERE THERE'S A LOT TO GO THROUGH HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR MEAL!

-Callie and Tikki get along very well! Tikki loves the positivity! But her concern over Callie rises over time because while Callie will never get as lonely as she does between Splatoon 1 and 2 since she's got Tikki there, Tikki notices Callie's reliance on Marie and is worried over what ever may strain the two of them, so she can get a bit bossy over Callie, much to Callie's dismay. On the cuter side of things though, Callie also likes to dress Tikki up in little bows and glitter.

-Marie and Plagg meanwhile do NOT get along, usually. They care a lot about each other at the end of the day but it's usually constant arguing between them and Marie will constantly snark that Callie got the better end of the deal which Plagg will bite her hand and not let go till she takes it back. However, when Plagg serious-es up he really does and seems to know Marie better than she knows herself, so when she's at her most lost, he's there.

-Reverse though! Tikki and Marie get along nicely. It helps that Tikki is so cheerful and that reminds Marie of Callie, however Tikki always wants to have serious conversations with Marie since Callie always avoids those but Marie always finds it weird talking about serious things with a tiny fairy thing since Tikki wants to do it a lot. Callie and Plagg also get along great! She tries and fails at giving him a makeover a lot but he's a bit of a bad influence on her more impulsive actions.

While they initially think its a great idea to swap, the day they do ends in complete disaster of Marie overworking/panicking/overthinking and Callie accidentally dismantling a city block.

-As for Deep Cut! They LOVE their kwamis! And their kwamis love them! They're pampered and spoiled a lot and are never far apart from each other. From order of 'happy to crime' to 'most reluctant to crime' goes Trixx, Pollen, and Nooroo. Deep Cut's reasoning that all their proceeds are going to charity keep the kwami at least somewhat supportive (although trixx would be fine even if it wasn't for good reasoning the guy is a bit mischevious)

-Pavo uses both her own emotions and others when she's hiding somewhere- but if she's going out into town to attack as Pavo she always uses her own emotions which are usually based off of some form of suffering or stress or frustration.

-The Squid Sisters found their miraculouses in their changing rooms! Someone gave it to them secretly (it was Cuttlefish!) and they tried them on immediately just in time for Deep Cut(who got their miraculouses via their clans)'s explosive debut as criminals, whom they stopped and had a cat and mouse game with for a short while until Pavo showed up and started sending real monsters to fight.

-Pearl actually gets her miraculous from the Squid Sisters! They do the like, choose your temporary hero companion for a bit and when Marina gets captured during a villain attack, they help Pearl save her by giving her the goat. As for Marina! I think she'd get it from Octavio somehow I don't know how or why. Octavio didn't use the rabbit miraculous though he never know it was magical just a nice watch.

-Tartar is a skeeeeevy fucking guy and is constantly hovering over Ahato's shoulder. Pressing about her ratings, her success, what she'll do when she's Actually popular. His view is that perfection only exists in his view of it, and with such an insecure DJ on his hands- she's the perfect guinea pig to mold and push around. He keeps Ahato wanting the wish by supporting her dissatisfaction of herself and plans to steal the wish and reset the world in his image. Cause he's a cunt.

He will be punched don't worry.

-OUGH CERISE AND PAVO OKAY SO. I couldn't help myself but there's a BIT of a love square with that but at some point they both moderately crush on both forms of each other. It's sorta a 'fell in love first' and 'fell in love HARD' scenario for the first crush on the first persona and then the second persona. Callie had a silly lil crush on Pavo first ("SHES SO DARK AND MYSTERIOUS" "CALLIE SHES A CRIMINAL" "THATS HOT") but grew invested and tender towards Ahato. Meanwhile, Ahato had a crush on Callie first as she was one of the first people that Ahato felt was truly invested and kind to her and understood her work, but had the gay little "OH. OH." moment over Cerise which made her feel VERY embarrassed over being her nemesis.

-Cerise and Angora are equally beloved though fans constantly fight over who is better (which drives a slight crack between them). Deep Cut are hated by the government, police, and much of the public, though many are actually quite fans and see them as Robin Hood figures for their kindness towards needy civilians. Caprichaos doesn't show up often but she has a pretty punk fan base that adore her while the government don't enjoy her more radical and rough nature and Lapin is bathed in mystery which make many theorists intrigued and most of the public knowing nothing about her to care much.

[blackjackkent]

15 Lines Tag Meme

Tagged by @morganaseren

Tagging: @istibaethoriel @thedarkstrategist @astreamofstars @bardic-inspo (also retagging @morganaseren and @writer86 bc I did this slightly differently than y'all did and maybe you wanna try it this way too :D )

(Want me to tag you in work-sharing memes like this in the future? Toss a like on this post over here! Would love a bigger list of folks to tag. :) )

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well!

I just realized that I don't actually have a WIP currently running that involves an OC, which is a bit wild. (Two WIP Jaheira longfics and a bunch of one-shot ideas I haven't started yet. XD ) So I'm going to do this as not a WIP fic quote but instead fifteen different quotes from Hector across several different existing fics that are representative of his personality. (I'm not sure which the originator of the meme intended and I know prev (Lee) did it the other way XD but I'm gonna reinterpret the instructions bc this is where my brain is taking it instead.)

-----

“Where your Lady looks for emptiness, mine looks for…self-reliance,” he finally says slowly. “Which is itself…not conducive to…” He trails off. “I have not ever felt this way before.” (Happy For You)

Hector hesitates. “I think perhaps I ought to ask you to forgive me,” he says quietly. “There were– and still are– many steps along this path that I have not handled as I should have. I was…very confused for quite some time, and very afraid, and perhaps my actions betrayed too much.” (Happy For You)

“It was one of the mantras of grounding I was taught from when I was a very young boy,” he says. “To…calm myself when I was upset or angry, to stop crying or raging, take control of the feelings and quiet them.” (The Center Cannot Hold)

“I love it,” he murmurs. “And I will keep it close to me going forward, you can be sure of that.” He turns the small talisman in his fingertips, watching it catch the light. “I've seen many of these,” he adds reverently. “But never one of such fine make. And old, too. Some monk carried this through hell before it made its way to you. I suppose I will add to that tradition...” (The Mystery of the Night)

“I don’t think I can go back,” he finally says quietly. “Not after all of this. I’ve… changed too much.” (Riverbed)

“I don’t know how to do what they want me to do,” he says softly. “How to… be what they think I am.” (Riverbed)

“It is only through meditation and strength of will that we master our emotions,” he says. “So I was taught.” (What Good, This Heart of Stone?)

“Discipline,” he mutters. “To control one's body is to control one's mind.” (What Good, This Heart of Stone?)

“SHUT UP!” The roar bursts from him and cracks apart into a sob. Tears flood his eyes, blurring his vision. “Gods… please… just leave me alone. I can’t… I can’t… she is dying and she is in so much pain, and I can’t help her, I can’t stop it. If you were anything less than a monster, you would grieve with me, you would want to help her… you would give a single, solitary damn… but you don’t. All you care about is your fucking worm, and it’s all falling apart… it’s all gone… it’s all gone…” The tears are coming heavier now, choking him, blinding him. “What the hell am I going to do?” he whispers. “I won’t… I won’t do it, I won’t do what you want… I won’t become an… an abomination just to save my heart… I won’t take her choice from her… but how will I bear it…? ” ("Because of What You Are" - drabble)

He swallows the lump that forms in his throat at hearing these words. “There is so much… so much more to the world than I ever imagined…” (vision of selune - drabble)

He flinches, not meeting her eyes. “I was thinking about how I’m scared because I could die. And then I thought about how perhaps there is a certain level on which that would be the simplest outcome.” (night before the brain - drabble)

“You’re perfect,” he repeats softly, and to his shame he hears his voice tremble. “I just…have no idea what I’m doing, and you surprised me.” (Prayers and Hellfire)

“You make me smile,” he goes on when the kiss finally breaks. The words come slowly, carefully - he considers himself no orator, but there is an ocean of feeling inside him waiting to be spoken of. “So many terrible things we see out here, and yet you make me laugh. You see the good in everything, even when it looks so dark to me. You've suffered so much and you're still kind, still want the best for everyone.” He pauses, then adds with fervent sincerity, “And you are so… so beautiful…” (Prayers and Hellfire)

[docholligay]

Ep 4: Misty

Hello! This is about up to Episode 4 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 4 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the fourth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

I feel like every time I watch this show and specifically every time I watch Misty, all I can say is “Holy shit, oh my god” and though it is not very interesting, it is always right. I laughed ALOUD at the “do people write notes…before they’re murdered, or is that more of a suicide thing?” I have never identified with Misty more even though I would not be surprised if in fact Misty did kill Travis. Why? I mean, at this point I’d be satisfied with “for the same fucking reason she pulled Nat’s starter” to bring her closer

Which is sort of a tangential segue into what I wanted to talk about with Misty and her being a CNA. I am so embarrassed I didn’t see this before, but it’s just a natural outgrowth of her desire for people to NEED her, to be placed in a position where she’s the one who can help. But she couldn’t hack it as a nurse, I guess, or the schooling, so here she is, and it’s not at all what she imagined, it’s bringing jello to old people. 

This is another reason why it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Misty were at the heart of a lot of this. It’s getting the band back together! It’s reconsturcting a part of Misty’s life that, so far, we’re shown is some of the happiest she’s ever been, because she is useful, and in groups like this, she can’t be on the outs. She can be teased, but even when they tease her about wanting to give a sponge bath to Coach Ben, she is more a part of this group than she has been before. She is more a poart of SOMETHING. 

So, even to the extreme negative, I absofuckinglutely think Misty is capable of this shit, and quite willing to engage in it--we see how she has access to people who can hack email, she can track people down, and she knows enough about being caught to know how NOT to be caught. 

So where do we think her obsession with coach Ben is going? I mean, TIMES ARE TOUGH, we’re out here with exactly two guys and a lot of women who so far assume they dig on dudes and also are swelling with hormones. But I think Misty was latched onto him long before we ever boarded that plane. His leg has made him rely on her, and that reliance feels like love to her, I think, even if there is no way in heaven or hell Ben would be interested. 

Fucking tailing Nat after Nat tells her the plans are none of her business, Jesus Christ, Misty, and it’s just another example of how Misty doesn’t understand why no one likes her and why she can’t have friends. Nat is no fucking peach, and I’m the first to say that, but Misty either has no actual idea about appropriate ways to act, or doesn’t care. And really, I think it’s a little of both, i think Misty has somehow talked herself into the idea that she alone, bullied and beleaguered, has the right to act however she wants because she’s HELPING. When she stalks Nat, she sees it as HELPING, she talks herself into the fact that she is looking out for her, she ‘has her back’ this isn’t creepy, it’s helpful. I think to a very large extent, she buys her own bullshit on this. 

It’s pathetic as fuck, but Nat is the closest thing she has to a friend. It’s such a perfect moment when the gal that she takes out as a cover (brilliant, by the way, I laughed. Great touch.) tells her that she reminds her of her granddaughter and “no one really likes her either” 

The show is working with Misty in such a way that it wants to show us how a person can be lonely and unliked and to what extent do we allow ourselves to feel like they have it coming?

[bougierthanthou]

So About Ben 10: Alien Force

Story: Moving our heroes off the road and out of the rust bucket and into their hometown of Bellwood is a welcome change that could allow us to see different facets of our protagonists which informs the story as a whole. Having Ben and Gwen search for their now missing grandfather only for them to stumble upon a conspiracy by aliens known as the Highbreed to take over the earth was a premise rife with potential. Getting to see Ben and Gwen operate independently of Grandpa Max especially considering they're nowhere near as knowledgable about this world as him is brilliant. Incorporating Kevin to be a resource isn't bad but INCREDIBLY RUSHED. Him begrudgingly helping them on occasion would've been more sensible for the characters and the story instead of him coming to their aid consistently. How are we supposed to feel the loss of their grandpa Max while they navigate this alien world if Kevin immediately fills that void? What was the point of making Ben step into the role of leadership for his grandpa max to just come back anyway? Speaking of Grandpa Max they barely react to his alleged death throughout this series and Ben and Gwen's collective grief isn't even fully explored. The trio's personal lives are never given any real screen time and when it is it's far too late in the series. When Kevin isn't working on his car where does he sleep, is it in his garage? I'm not saying we need long drawn out answers to some of these questions but a throwaway line here and there or multiple episodes dedicated to these topics and questions would show that the writers are putting some actual forethought into this story. Another stray thought since the DNAliens are revealed to be humans that have been enslaved by the Highbreed we should've seen our heroes struggle with that either in combat or just from a moral standpoint. It should've realistically caused some conflict amongst the trio about how to proceed and how to properly restrain themselves going forward. Would've been a useful way to show other aspects of their personalities and upbringings. While the transition from the episodic nature of the original to serialized storytelling in the sequel is to be applauded the new ideas presented have promise but poor execution overall.

Characters & Combat: Ben is no longer cocky and impulsive, instead he sports a newfound maturity that can only be rivaled by someone in their 50s. This development completely guts him of any potential for character development. Another progression in his character that I just didn't care for was his over reliance on the omnitrix, since it doesn't time out as quickly as it used to it has become a crutch for him. We no longer see his creative mind at work when posed with an alien threat and 'going hero' is no longer an option. In the second episode of classic we see Ben takedown a mutant hamster with nothing but his wit athleticism and a motorized scooter. Gwen is no better she was my favorite in classic and is utterly unrecognizable to me now. Known for being a feisty sarcastic fiercely intelligent character whose interests in science history and tech made her useful not only as a foil to Ben to show her level of competence in comparison, but as an ally when providing him with advice on what transformation to take on for whatever problem they were facing at the time. Not to mention her background in martial arts helped her and Ben deal with less powerful enemies and her latent talent for magic after encountering Hex Charmcaster the charms of Bezel along with obtaining a spell book made her a more active combatant. In Alien Force her abilities as well as personality are flattened. Instead of casting spells to create mini tornadoes cause water spouts manifest mist levitate objects and project shields that deflect laser fire they make her into a great value green lantern. When it comes to combat she's weaker now than when she was a child, the power of her shields are inconsistent her energy discs don't do the same amount of damage as Ben and Kevin's attacks. On top of that they decided the origin of her power is alien via her grandmother. She's no longer a uniquely magical girl whose powers act as a vehicle to bring fantasy elements into this sci-fi story but another generic alien. In this show they just reduced her to the token girl which will never sit right with me. Kevin is back and no longer as murderous as he used to be when Ben and Gwen came across him when they were kids. Instead Kevin is now pushing alien tech as a dealer, weapons specifically. This isn't a horrible progression considering Kevin was a street rat and unhoused in classic plus his stint in the null void it actually makes some semblance of sense. What doesn't make sense is his willingness to help, he's a consistently selfish person so aiding Ben and Gwen happened too quick. They should've had Ben and Gwen coaxing him into helping with their mission either through providing him with whatever alien tech Grandpa Max had laying around or trading in information he'd find beneficial. His crush on Gwen was also completely out of left field the same goes for their romance which was as rushed as it was forced. If there was a buildup to it all.

Art & Character Design: The backgrounds and character design are now as flat and lifeless as Ben and Gwen's personalities. A majority of the episodes always take place at night leaving everything shrouded in a perpetual darkness that rivals the shadow realm of Yu-Gi-Oh. Character design is quite poor when you consider the leads can only make about two expressions leaving them unable to properly emote or show the full range of human emotion. Thankfully, this doesn't extend to Ben's aliens they're quite expressive too bad they're just poor knockoffs of the originals and when they aren't knockoffs they're just hybrids of the originals. Swampfire is just Heatblast merged with Wildvine, Big Chill is just Ghostfreak with cryokinesis. Chromastone is Diamondhead but he can absorb and redirect energy while Echo Echo is just Ditto with the addition of a sonic scream. Gone is the excitement and innovation that comes with a new transformation because they're just a half assed combo of what we've seen already. Actually, I take that back there are a few notable exceptions, Spidermonkey was a great addition with a great design and unique I'd even argue the same for Goop because he provides something different and is reminiscent of an alien species we saw in classic in the movie Ben 10: Secret of the Omnitrix. Most of these new transformations invalidate the originals and are too OP with no clear limits. They don't even look as alien monstrous grotesque or dynamic as you'd expect given the standard set by classic. Ben's design is fine but his fit is so generic, plain black tee paired with a green jacket that has the number ten on it and blue jeans. The simplicity of his clothes does suit his now rigid persona tho. Gwen is the worst offender sporting a white button up with a blue sweater with a black skirt stockings and short heels. It's been made apparent in classic that she loves fashion so relegating her to a school uniform seems not only out of character but completely fucking ridiculous. How did these two have more style and flair at 10 than they do at 15?

[haloburns]

a collection of tag games

hi hello i have returned from the dead (danny phantom puns abound, i know) i've felt like SHITE for months now, so i'm going to mass answer some tag games i've been tagged in by @jadenoryuu and @deathcomes4u (i know penner has tagged me in some but theyre not showing up in my notes??? i'll find them in my emails later and reblog)

these will all be under the readmore with the original post linked!!

Wip themes tag!

Core themes are in blue, minor themes are in orange (mostly because yellow hurts my eyes).

i uhhhhhhhhhh have so many wips, i'm not sure which one jade was talking about, but i'll use my invisobang!

addiction | beauty | betrayal | change vs. tradition | chaos vs. order | circle of life | coming of age | communication | convention vs. rebellion | corruption (the crime) | courage | crime and law | dangers of ignorance | darkness and light | death | desire to escape | dreams | displacement | empowerment | facing darkness | facing reality | faith vs. doubt | fall from grace | fame and fortune | family | fate | fear | fear of failure | free will | friendship | fulfillment | good vs. bad | government | greed | guilt and forgiveness | hard work | heroism | hierarchy | honesty | hope | identity crisis | immortality | independence | individual vs. society | inner vs. outer strength | innocence (and the loss of) | injustice | isolation | knowledge vs. ignorance | life | loneliness | lost love | love | man vs. nature | manipulation | materialism | motherhood | nature | nature vs. nurture | oppression | optimism | peer pressure | poverty | power | power of words | prejudice | pride | progress | quest | racism | rebirth | relationships | religion | responsibility | revenge | sacrifice | secrets | self-awareness | self-preservation | self-reliance | sexuality | social class structure | survival | technology | temptation and destruction | time | totalitarianism | weakness | vanity | war | wealth (and the lack thereof) | wisdom of experience | youth

enjoy the teaser! i'll be posting my invisobang next week!

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Author self-rec!!

This one is from death! i have 88 DP fics in two years, so uhhhhhhhh this one is a hard one. All titles are links directly to my ao3! (there's gonna be more than five, i'm sorry alkjsflksjdf)

First off:

Any thing from Phic Phight

2022 or 2023! Literally all of those are my favorites, I can't pick and I'm not adding them to my 5 because that feels unfair (to me).

of course i love you (it is my fault that you have not known it all the while)

this one was a dream-related idea i had, and it turned into danny and maddie working through the early stages of post-phantom-reveal relationship. it's one of my absolute favorites, and the title is from le petit prince, which is one of my all time favorite stories.

Summary:

Danny is still adjusting to his parents knowing his identity after the Disasteroid. It's...going. It's only been a few days, after all. But when Sam and Tucker go away on an academic convention trip, Danny's left completely alone for the first time since the accident and things do not go well. Danny does not cope well, and like usual, doesn't ask for help. Maddie finds him losing a fight he shouldn't be, but when she tries to help, she accidentally makes things worse and finds out just how bad things are for her son. She doesn't know a lot about all of this halfa business, but she does know that she loves her son. That has to count for something.

this is the moment (damn all the odds)

ohhhhhh i love this one. it's probably one of my first mateo-centric fics, and i wrote it while i had covid (lying on the floor, trying not to die, i wrote 4k and it was actually comprehensible) because i needed ghost light softness in my life. it's some early stuff as i wanted to flesh out their relationship a bit more. title is kudos to death, ironically lmao

Summary:

Mateo is hurt and a little stranded, and there's only one person he can call. Danny drops everything to help him, and that... that does something.

This is The Moment that he starts to view Danny in a different, more interested light.

there's no way out (i gotta hold you somehow)

this is a companion to "it's just another day without you (and i can't sleep)" but more zoomed in. another mateo centric fic that gives us a look into his pov during their week apart, and also gives us a peek at his family dynamic pre-this is the road to ruin. it wasn't SUPPOSED to be 5k, but i was having too much fun to stop. i love mateo with all my heart and i will continue to subject everyone to him until the itch has ceased

Summary:

Mateo is hurt and a little stranded, and there's only one person he can call. Danny drops everything to help him, and that... that does something. This is The Moment that he starts to view Danny in a different, more interested light.

when the nightmare fades

this is one of the earliest fics i came up with for this series. it changed A LOT. this is where danny and mateo's first kiss was supposed to happen, but the boys got out of control and that happened a fic or two ahead of time, so that changed the tone a bit. instead of it being so charged, it just became SOFT. it will forever hold a special place in my heart

Summary:

The terrible hunted feeling hasn't left Danny in weeks. Midterms are approaching, and the stress has finally caught up to him. A terrifying nightmare wakes him from his unrestful sleep, startling Mateo awake too. When Mateo asks if he's alright, Danny actually opens up instead of hiding away like normal.

quit telling everyone i'm (permanently) dead!

started as an ectober prompt that grew......wildly out of control. danny and teo go home to amity park for thanksgiving and shenangians ensue. it has lots of soft and cute relationship stuff that actually set me up for ANOTHER favorite of mine that ALSO grew wildly out of control

Summary:

Thanksgiving break is quickly approaching, and Danny really wants to make good on his promise to Mateo. So he invites him home for the holiday. It'll be the perfect opportunity to make up for the weekend he spent stuck in the Fenton house while Danny kinda-sorta almost died again. But, like everything else in his life, Amity Parkers don't plan on making that attainable for him, his friends and family included.

this is the road to ruin (and we started at the end)

honorable mention HAS to go to last year's invisobang. this is the end of the original pieces i had planned for the series, and it wasn't necessarily supposed to be the end, but up until posting it, that was all that i had originally plotted. a year's worth of work led me to that, and i could NOT be prouder of it. i've reread it quite a bit because i'm just. in love. maybe that's a little conceited, but i put SO MUCH effort into it, so i like to enjoy it from time to time.

Summary:

What goes up, must come down. Danny is forced to come down hard when Clockwork arrives with news he never wanted to hear. Now Mateo and their friends are in danger, and Danny has to be the one to figure out how to protect them all on his own. Mateo wants to help, but Danny's being too stubborn and ghostly to even think about accepting it. Tension between them grows as the new threat stalks closer, and Danny is forced to make a decision he's never wanted to make: kill or be killed.

my resistance was once much stronger (i can't go on like this much longer)

the follow up to "this is the road to ruin" in what was only supposed to be 10k max and ended up being just over 50k instead. it changed A LOT over the course of writing it, because i did a lot of character study in it. i will always love danny and mateo growing closer, even when they fight and don't communicate clearly

actually, the entire "road to ruin" arc up until "heaven's grief brings hell's reign" is my favorite. all of it. i'm just SO fucking proud of it.

Summary:

Danny's home for winter break, and that's all he wants: a break. But after a breakdown in front of his mom, and with the help of a certain meddling older sister, Danny reveals to his family what exactly has been happening while he was away at Berkeley. He hopes for some space from Mateo, because it'll make leaving easier in the long run, but one poorly timed phone call snowballs into Maddie inviting Mateo to stay with them for Christmas and Truce. Danny can't say no without revealing exactly why he doesn't want his boyfriend coming to spend the holidays with him, so he accepts. Now he has to balance his complicated jumble of feelings with Mateo being so close and so hard to ignore. So much for a break.

come back and let me hold you (darlin' i just got started lovin' you)

OKAY HEAR ME OUT i KNOW this is a country song title but a) i'm southern as FUCK and two) this song is SO FUCKING SWEET

i wanted to write something for ghost light recently but i needed it to be short, so i told myself i had to write less than 1k AND LO AND BEHOLD I DID. this is literally just post-heaven's grief sweetness. technically a song fic because i used the lyrics to craft the fic and maybe thats cringe, but i'm freeeeee so its whatever

Summary:

Danny and Mateo are settling into their new normal in their second semester after Christmas Break, and Mateo is reluctant to leave their little pocket of bliss just to attend classes. Danny convinces him to stay for just a little while longer.

this life is overwhelming (and i'm ready for the next one) & underneath your skin (the ghost within)

these go together, and they're just so different from what i normally write, but they're REALLY fucking good in my humble opinion. pitch pearl has a grip on me, too, and i've been writing some absolute BANGERS with them

Summaries:

Danny just wants everything to stop hurting. His parents are too obsessed with getting their ghost portal up and running to notice that he's struggling to adjust to high school. They definitely don't notice when things take a dark turn and a few new scars crop up. When they fail to get the portal up and running, it's like their children don't exist at all. Everything that had been building in Danny over the last two years finally snaps. Stepping into the portal with blood dripping down his hand had been an accident. The cutting part had been easy, but as the faint whine of a machine powering up reached his ears, he realized regretting all of it was so fucked.

AND

Danny's still alive, and he's not happy about it. After his halfway successful suicide attempt, Danny is living with the consequences of an activated Portal: ghosts targeting him, a new secret identity, and juggling high school. Things are not going well, until he discovers a new aspect of his ghostly self: his ghostly self.

Anything from Perky Beans Cafe

Emeralds and I are co-writing a coffee shop enemies to lovers au, and it's INCREDIBLE

Summary:

Phantom just wanted a hot chocolate... But Danny Fenton (aka Amity Park's very own Blue Hunter) has other ideas. Things do NOT go to plan, but neither party can say they're…unhappy…about the results.

the haunted museum job

a crossover fic that i'm STUPID proud of. i wrote it in like two hours and it's got some of the best character-voice writing i've EVER done. i would love to write mroe for it but alas the muse is in hiding

Summary:

The Leverage team has been tasked with retrieving an ancient Egyptian artefact from a small, Midwest museum. Easy job, won't take more than a Sunday afternoon to complete, and then they'll have more than enough cash and the favor of the Egyptian government on their side. But Amity Park is not your average Midwestern town, and they accidentally crash another team's heist and find themselves out of their depth very quickly.

HONORABLE MENTION

the magic that binds us series

DEATH STARTED THIS SHIT, AND IT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO WRITE holy SHIT i cannot wait to get back to working on it!! magic goth danny is BABEY

Summary:

Danny got into sleight of hand and showman's magic to spite his parents -- he never expected it to be real. It had started as a joke. His parents kept insisting ghosts were real and were convinced they were building a Portal to the other side just to prove it. Danny, being a little shit, had made a comment about the magic they must be working against to create said Portal. Then his mom had reprimanded him for believing in something as childish as magic. Danny was nothing if not a petty little bitch, so he decided that if his parents wanted to play that game, then they would play that game. He had no idea just what kind of game he was getting himself into.

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Little guy maker!!

enjoy this little mateo i made. he is ready for fall.

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Fic Stats Game!

Rules: Give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

I'm just doing my DP fics because I am NOT dragging myself like that alskjfdlksjdflksdjf

Most Hits

going...! to be in so much trouble... this is my first ever DP fic and the fic that launched me into my au......... surprised my dpxdc fic hasn't overwhelmed it, actually, but it's close!

Second Most Kudos

okay, well, it's the same fic as above, apparently, so i'm just gonna link the top kudos because it's the one that has the SECOND most hits, so like... it evens out, right??

stealing cars is a love language, too

Third Most Comments

oh wow, that's wild. i would NOT have thought it was this one!!

and they were history project partners

actually, yknow what. i'm not surprised alkdjlksdjf it's UFS adjacent, so that actually makes sense. plus it's a phic phight fic so like... yeah, that tracks lmao

Fourth Most Bookmarks

this life is overwhelming (and i'm ready for the next one)

also not a huge surprise there. it's an angsty gen dp fic, what did i expect?? lmao

Fifth Most Words

it's just another day without you (and i can't sleep)

i think this was my first BIG dp fic and it was just. pure. angst. also mateo au, so like.... that tracks

Fic with the Least Words

when you sneeze so hard you accidentally half-die in front of your boyfriend for the first time

this was crack that i wrote on my ten minute break during a particularly nasty allergy season bc i was GRUMPY. it's actually surprisingly popular, considering it's technically danny/oc fic.

OKAY THAT'S IT IM DONE SORRY FOR THE LONG POST AND LOTS AND LOTS OF LINKS LOVE YOU BYE

[filmfactors]

why did u dislike stand by me? other than the art style

While you said aside from art style, I'll say it's worse than I thought it'd be. I hate when the characters open their terrible no tooth mouths, they do it so much it's hard to ignore and it's awful to look at. Aside from the uncanny factor though, the backgrounds and scenery look nice.

As for the movie itself, I feel like it just highlights everything I don't really like about the Doraemon series? From the Nobita and Shizuka """romance""", to the weird perverted jokes at Shizuka's expense. I'm also in general not a fan of the 'Doraemon leaves/April Fools' story they used at the end, so I wasn't happy to see it again and in a movie I could care less about.

It doesn't feel like anything changes or progresses, it doesn't make me believe Nobita ever grows to be his own person that can take care of himself, that they don't set anything up for any of the payoff it gives...

They throw in some dialogue about Nobita being depressed, they use sad lighting, and they use tears but they never are actually saying anything meaningful. It just feels like tools to cheat you into feeling sad but it really had the opposite effect on me, I just felt annoyed because the emotional moments do not feel earned.

When Nobita drinks the juice that makes people hate him and Shizuka fights against it to comfort him, that should be a moment that moves you... a triumph and instead I just sit there and don't feel very moved because it didn't feel like there was any progression in their relationship to earn this? Like the idea I like, it's sweet inherently but it doesn't play out in a way that makes me engaged in the story.

Everyone takes a backseat for Nobita's obsession with Shizuka which I think, is the worst thing you could make the focus. I know it's an important part of the plot but I've never liked it, I've already discussed how Shizuka doesn't feel like her own person but just a prize to be won by Nobita in the end... when movies, episodes, etc focus on it so much- it makes me believe in their relationship less and less.

I'm sorry but putting her in a weird outfit for your benefit, trying to force her to fall in love with you via imprinting, up-skirting her in public.... it doesn't make me root for him. Those things in the series have done the opposite of make me root for them, especially contrasted with how Dekisugi treats her. It makes me wonder why on earth she'd pick Nobita in any universe, but specifically this one?

Also something, something... how marrying Jaiko was not the issue and Nobita's misery is his own fault, but yeah sure let's focus on what wife this ten year old gets in the future.

It's especially horrible hearing her say, during the blizzard in the cave, "You need someone to take care of you." As a reason to marry Nobita, as a reason to say yes to the proposal... SHE'S TOO GOOD FOR HIM IN THIS MOVIE! Sorry to say. That is not a wife, that's a mother- it's not love it just feels like pity.

Nobita needs to learn some actual self love and not betting all his happiness on a marriage years from now. Putting all his points into one person for some distant goal is a bad idea, what about the now? What about building bonds with his friends, his family? What about fixing himself as he is now.

I get the point is that somehow earning Shizuka's love will help him, make him a better person, but it doesn't feel like it. It also just feels.... not good. I would talk about the reliance on gadgets instead of self help in any way, but that's always been a thing.

Anyhow, it's a movie that exists for people who are already a fan of the franchise to trick you into thinking it's emotional because your knowledge and feel for the characters already give you depth for them. It feels like it's trying to get cheap and easy tears out of you and I don't really care for that.

It's also a whirlwind of stories I already know, done a bit worse for some in a bad art style. It was doomed to be a movie I don't like. I just can't think of anything positive I felt from it that I couldn't get better in any other Doraemon movie, chapter or even episode.

[sinkableruby]

i think i finally put my finger on what bugs me about saying that ougi wants to make araragi alone

because like, she doesn't. not exactly

in the owarimonogatari light novel (and in the anime!) she's genuinely disgusted when araragi mentions he had no friends back in freshman year. this is not the reaction of someone who wants someone to be all alone forever

there's nuance to it, i think-- in owari when araragi says he's going to wait for kanbaru, she responds: "so you're counting on being saved by others?"

recall her words in the avant of kabuki: "people think they're being watched by god when they're going under these streetlights" (when really they're not totally free from danger)

under that philosophy, putting all your eggs in the basket that someone will show up for you is too hopeful. what if no one ends up showing up? then you'd be sitting there helpless. better to learn how to stand on your own two feet before you wait for someone to pull you to them. that's what i think the idea is: "you can't always rely on the people around you, so it's best to be able to rely on yourself if you need to." being able to help yourself, in other words

of course, asking for help could be a form of self help. but just don't bank on it, is what ougi suggests here. (and not even that adamantly i might add. she's not pushing for it very hard-- this is just one point in her criticism, not the whole itinerary. which is why it confuses me when people say getting him to be alone is her goal. because it's really not)

the tsukimonogatari scene is a little different-- ougi criticizes him for relying on a "little girl" (ononoki, whom she knows is not truly a "little girl"), calling it pathetic. i think the ethos is ultimately the same here: "really? putting your problems on a little girl? why don't you learn some self-sufficiency and take care of it yourself?" araragi relies on people a lot, so it's only natural that it would be a recurring point of criticism for ougi. i think the "little girl" thing might either be to rhetorically make araragi's reliance more of a heavy thing-- corpse dolls might not be bothered as much by the weight of your problems as a little girl would. perhaps it calls attention to the idea that oddities changed based on how they are perceived-- calling ononoki a little girl makes her seem just a little more incapable, a little less able to deal with araragi's issue. or perhaps it's to produce more of a sting when ononoki designates herself clearly as a monster to araragi, create more of a rift between them (that she admits she is hoping for). but it's not clear cut, and i'd have to rewatch tsukimonogatari probably to be more sure

either way, the through line still seems to be "don't count on other people or god to help you. do it yourself." which isn't exactly bad, but again since araragi relies on people a lot, ougi criticizes him more for it, and also is just overly critical in general, so it starts to become pushing him away from his friends as a result of that. but my point is it's not "isolate yourself" for the sake of it, it's isolate yourself so you know you can help yourself by yourself

which of course would make hanekawa and meme's appearances in ougi dark all the more baffling to her. she'd been trying to get araragi to not count on a miracle, but because he decided to stay open to one, one actually did happen.

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 2, Side A, Match 7

propaganda under the cut!

Junnana:

Oh they are so very silly and I adore them. They basically spent the anime being the most married couple there, the game amplifying that and the movie burning that all to the ground (or Nana did that) before vowing to start a new later. They're just a girl reaching for her dreams without a ton of natural talent and a girl who enjoys helping her friends shine instead of herself despite being super skilled but even though they have slightly different goals on the stage they both respect each other so very much to the point where things only go wrong in the movie because Nana lost a bit of the respect for Junna that was always so fundamental in their dynamic. The Overture manga gives a bit of insight into what their early interactions were like especially in their respective focus chapters (3 and 9), with 3 showing that Nana was planning on becoming their class president rather than Junna but stepped down just because she had so much trust in her abilities while still making it clear that Junna could rely on her while in 9 the mutual reliance came back in the form of Junna being the one to make Nana realize she wasn't alone. Carrying onwards to the anime, some time before the whole thing, Nana decided "hey time loops are pretty cool" because she was afraid of her and her friends growing up and separating. This was not a fact known by anybody but her and that one giraffe and did not affect the early plot, where for the most part Junna was more focused on due to her struggles being highlighted from the moment revues were introduced and Nana was just constantly around her. Then Junna ended up being the first person Nana actually told about them directly (and not in a very vague way in a revue because otherwise Hikari would be the first) because it was looking like said loops were about to end because the childhood friends to lovers dynamic as a whole decided to say nuh uh to her. Then she did in fact lose her next revue which made the idea of continuing her repetitions a little impossible but Junna ended up recovering from that whole shock pretty quickly, and went to comfort Nana and help her learn to start anew. 

Then there's the game which. yeah there's so much stuff in there that I can't even explain it all. In the main story we get the arc of Nana starting her overprotective bs once again, getting stopped and then being given more courage to move forward by Junna since she was realizing that she kind of messed up (since she decided to object to the concept of plays just having lead actors in general. as you do), but there's so much stuff outside of the main story. Highlights include: Junnana literally making up their own ship name, Nana deciding the best way to practice for a role centered around an observant character was to observe Junna specifically, Nana writing a self-indulgent Phantom of the Opera adaptation with herself as the Phantom and Junna as Christine in an event where it turned out she relates to the Phantom (red flag #1 as far as I'm concerned) and wrote Christine based on Junna (Junna was very okay with this but I find it hilarious that she made her adaption of a famous play basically self insert fanfiction), the actual Junnana kiss (stage kiss?? real kiss?? we'll never know), the Valentine's Day event where Junna kept saying things like "oh I'd go to any lengths for Nana" while talking about making chocolate of all things, the time Junna talked about how she wouldn't let anybody take her place of staying right by Nana's side if she had to because she loves being there completely out of the blue to Nana's ex of all people (not a canon ex but a lot of people who know about her whole deal with Nana at least agree that they had something going on. and let me tell you Junna telling the person who constantly regrets not having the strength to remain by Nana's side how much she loved being with Nana was not a smart choice, even though Hisame, the girl in question, took it very well), the Steins;Gate collab where a good chunk of the plot is just Junna being worried about Nana, a play where it turned out that the whole time Junna and Nana had both taken inspiration from each other for their roles, the time they had to actively stop themselves during separate interviews from just rambling about each other, etc. There's so much. Also I forgot to mention it during the main story part but there's also an alternate universe briefly discussed where one of their friends just does not exist so Nana is one of the two best actors in the class and gets the lead role in the play they perform every year, and there's a scene after their performance where Junna talks about how, in the play which is a tragedy involving two lesbians in love, Nana's performance made her think that, if she had stood as her co-star, she would have simply been built different and prevented the tragedy from happening. The plot ends with one character falling form a tower and another being imprisoned within it, and Junna is like "if I was this tragedy and I was with you I would have simply taken your character's hand and never let her go". They're just so married in the game and I can't believe them for it

And then there's the movie. We don't talk about the movie but I kind of have to. Okay so you remember those two friends I was talking about who act very married and ultimately have a lot of their relationship based around their mutual respect for each other? What if Nana stopped respecting Junna entirely one day? That's their movie arc. This movie covers the girls "dying" as stage girls (ie. losing what made them true stage girls/actors in the first place) and then being "reborn" as them, and unfortunately Nana is of the opinion that Junna could just simply have her symbolism death and not the other part. During their revue, Nana talks a lot about how beautiful and dazzling (using those exact words. she even called Junna heartbreakingly beautiful in the dub) Junna was when she was foolishly reaching for a role she wasn't likely to get, but put it all in past tense, and encouraged Junna to let herself die as a stage girl in a brilliant manor rather than trying and failing to grasp her brilliance and dying out like that. also she called her an ugly fruit which sure is something. Then Junna was like "???? no I won't do that actually???" and took one of Nana's swords from her to engage in a sword fight since Nana had destroyed her usual weapon. Which was not a great matchup briefly because Junna never used a sword in her life but after Nana realized that the Junna she was fighting was different from the Junna she knew, and didn't match the role she had assigned for her, Junna ended up telling Nana that her own role was something she'd define for herself and not something Nana could assign for her, and ended up winning against her. After the revue was over, Junna still wanted Nana in her life, and promised her that, one day, they'd reunite on a stage which belonged to both of them, even though they had to find their own stages before that could happen. Before they departed, Nana lamented that Junna was dazzling, contradicting her previous belief that she was only dazzling in the past, all while beginning to cry, and Junna nearly turned around to comfort her, but ultimately decided to continue onto her next stage as Nana carried onwards to her own, knowing that they would both need to grow before their reunion. I also want to mention that, during this scene, a picture of the two of them, one which Nana had stabbed through the middle as she was telling Junna how dazzling she thought she once was, had since been moved to a little pond in the background of the scene (and of the background of the start of the whole revue, so it was there the whole time) that was nearly identical to the one where Junna and Nana had had their moment of comfort at the end of episode 9 of the anime. With the middle of the picture being soaked in water, it ended up sinking just enough for the new cut in the middle of the picture to appear almost mended, showing that, while the damage Nana had done and the rift between them was still there, it was already starting to mend as they once again regarded each other as equals. This scene lives in my head constantly and haunts me daily. Congratulations to Junnana for having a divorce arc as high schoolers

Kuroken:

childhood friends!!! admittedly i'm quite rusty on haikyuu so im sorry i can't provide better propaganda for the kuroken nation but i do remember that kuroo literally centered the entire nekoma high volleyball team around kenma and had this whole gay ass speech about how kenma is their brain and the rest of them are the blood like why are you as a man the blood to another man's brain??

[thegirlwiththelilactattoo]

No. 10, or Chapter 2: Electric Boogaloo

Introduction

In my first dissertation chapter, I found it exceptionally challenging to parse out what a chapter was supposed to look like and how to articulate my ideas. These are like pretty fundamental elements of writing, so my first chapter ended up being largely unfocused. I'm a write-as-I-think sort of person, but it felt pretty discouraging to turn in writing I felt wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. After sending the draft off to my committee chair for the first round of comments, I decided I wanted to address the most glaring shortcoming of chapter one in my second chapter. This manifested as two goals: remain in control of the argument and use evidence more efficiently.

Writing Chapter Two

I started chapter two largely the same way as chapter one, with a mind map. I mentioned in a previous post how I use mind maps, so I won't rehash that here (link to that post). The argument and evidence I initially planned in my mind map didn't end up in the draft I turned in...at all. Like in my first chapter, I planned to cover a robust amount of information that ended up being entirely unreasonable to cover in a chapter -- not in the sense that there were too many ideas, but that the strands of discussion didn't amount to an actual argument. I like love to info dump, so my writing often reflects me rambling with no point because I'm excited about what I learned. I ended up chatting with my advisor in the early stages of this chapter (good idea!!) to get her feedback. While I also didn't end up incorporating what we talked about in that conversation, it helped to reframe the chapter with more focus.

Another fail this time around, was my also bad habit of doing a ton of reading before I start writing. I ended up reading a lot about new materialisms because I thought I would do a literature review in this chapter. I didn't find anything particularly interesting in the literature from new materialism or other ontological turn stuff, so instead I wasted a lot of time reading for no reason. idk if I have any coherent advice for this, but I think I learned that I need to start with the data first and then read what feels appropriate to help me write the argument. I'm a firm believer in not deleting words. Instead I move them to a different word doc (I call mine "Chp X Bits") in case I want to include those words later. My Chp 2 Bits ended up being about 10k words of different stops and starts where I tried to figure out how to enter the narrative of the chapter.

After this point, I had another committee member read my draft. This was a bad idea. In my discipline, committee members typically don't expect or want to read rough drafts or be the first pair of eyes on early writing. The committee chair is considered the first line of defense who and gives comments on the initial draft. My other committee member did give some helpful comments about my over reliance on other scholars, which for her, limited my own theoretical contributions. Not sure if other people feel this way, but I've found that grad school has chipped away at my confidence to make authoritative claims that aren't couched in some other theorists' words, so this has been really challenging for me. I took her feedback and deleted entire sections that were just me talking about other scholars. Most of the deleted text didn't appear in the finalized rough draft or if it did, it was in the footnotes as additional context.

I switched gears after this second round of feedback and made an outline of the chapter just with data I collected to ground each section. I wrote a section heading with a scant description of what the data demonstrated and then from there, reorganized the chapter to emerge more organically from the data instead of secondary scholarship. As I wrote, I also used color-coding to organize this draft: words I wanted to keep (black), paragraphs that needed to be moved (green), main ideas the section needed to cover (purple/or highlighted), and stream of consciousness to be rewritten (blue).

Like I said before, I love to info dump and having the main idea of each subsection really helped me stay focused. I also find that using different colors frees me to write messily because it's not the standard text color I'll submit. If it's in blue, I know I have to rewrite it, so it's black text. (I also do this as a write anyway. I write everything single spaced and I double space text to signal to myself that it's finalized.) The color coding also helped structure my editing process because I had a better sense of the edits I wanted to make before I sent the draft off to my chair.

What I Learned/Chapter Three Plans

I won't start writing chapter three until July as I take a "break" to edit my first chapter, work on an article, and outline chapter three. I think that I'm going to focus a lot more intentionally on using the data to structure the chapter. For this chapter, I got a lot of great feedback about the theory, rather than structure because my writing was easier to follow. Without the tangents to secondary data, my writing also felt clearer and more controlled. I did qualitative coding for my data, so I have a ton of thematic codes that I haven't really used to their full potential. I'm going to start the outline from the codes/data to keep my argument consistent.

I also think that I'll check in with my committee chair more often. Usually I meet with her once the chapters done, but having her feedback when I ran into a challenge made a big difference. Especially as I attempt to make theoretical claims sans secondary sources, I want to rely on her more for direction.

Conclusion

So yeah, that's chapter two done, which means I'm halfway done with the rough drafts of my body chapters!! Writing my dissertation has been truly an Experience that I don't think coursework/teaching prepared me for. So much of it feels like throwing anything at the wall to see if it sticks, but I think with each chapter I get closer to understanding what this part of the academic training is supposed to do.

As always if there's anything you would like me to write about, let me know!

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi, Em! I was wondering if you could help me find my type. I’m fairly certain I’m a feeler, and introvert, and a sensor. I’ve always been a pretty sensitive and emotional person and tend to take on responsibilities that aren’t actually mine. Case in point: my mom has dealt with chronic illness since I was in high school, and even now I tend to plan so I can make sure she can get everywhere she needs to be, instead of living my own life. I’ve done this at work, as well. My boss found (1/5)

out pretty quickly that he could rely on me and began to push me through training for about 7 different positions within a few months and use me as a floater instead of having my own position and schedule. I do tend to rely on others’ perceptions when looking at myself, mostly because no one in objective about themselves and I’ve seen a lot of people absolutely convinced they’re one way when they’re just the opposite. My dad would say my biggest weakness is that I’m a bit of a pushover; (2/5)

my sister would say it’s that I tend to have a quick NO response and then have to warm up to an idea/person. Some of my larger conflicts have been over my not showing enough emotion/not showing the right emotion. When I first met my now brother-in-law, my sister was furious because I wasn’t all that welcoming. I’m slow to warm (and really not emotive in general, my main strength is that I keep a calm appearance in most situations) and I wasn’t going to pretend to make her feel better. (3/5)

I’ve also had issues with some family members, where I’ve managed to be polite but not much more. I’m a pretty quick learner and can get bored quickly. I have to keep changing up my workouts in order to keep myself interested (yoga for a few weeks, running for a few weeks, etc.), though I would love to be able to find one thing I really enjoy and stick with it. I don’t like a ton of change at once, but I really didn’t mind the rotating schedule as long as I got a day or so notice. If (4/5)

someone asks for my opinion, I will tell them exactly what I think. I try to keep it on the softer side, but it can come out a bit sarcastic. It drives me insane when people try to push me into something I don’t want to do. It depends on the situation, how much I’ll fight over it, but I’ll bring it up after the fact if I don’t at the time. I tend to adopt people pretty quickly, even if I don’t know them that well, and am usually the most practical in my friend group. Thank you! (5/5)

-----

Hi anon,

While I do think you're right about ISFx, I actually can see arguments for both ISFJ and ISFP here - it's hard to tell. The part about gladly telling people what you think, for example, feels more like ISFP (though if you're in your late 20s or older I'd be more willing to consider ISFJ); the part about being something of a pushover and reliance on others' opinions feels much more like ISFJ. My guess is that whichever you are, you have an enneatype that is often associated with the other type which is what's making you fall more towards the middle, eg, perhaps an ISFP 2 or ISFJ 4. I am leaning somewhat more towards "assertive ISFJ" though, given that a lot of your "sticking points" concern rapid change/newer experiences, and that you do prefer routine (switching up the workout feels very low Ne to me - needing variety in relatively safe hobby areas).

[canidfeline]

i still do not like suzan

she is a pitiful person and is generally dislikeable. as an example if you (you as in you, yourself, kleo) talk about exams, she says yeah and then makes it about herself

i do not avoid responsibility here as i do this sometimes but i hope it is known that i try to do it as a sign of me trying to relate/comfort or whatever. but i do admittedly do it

she also doesn't truly care for us because if she did she wouldnt try going to other people every time she has appearance issues. i know she addressed this when i confronted her but that was honestly a half-arsed attempt to clear up a drama i was tired of. back to suzans addressing of it, i am aware its for attention and i am thankful she is aware of it but she continues to do it.

she only cares for herself. every time she joins vc or is in a conversation she streams or makes it about herself. quite literally last time me and lily were in vc she joined immediately and started streaming BEFORE HER MIC EVEN WORKED

she brings up me saying the n word in 2020 yet said it in a genuinely nasty way to lily less than a month ago (which i applaud you for actually noticing and telling her off for)

says she wants more irl friends and is lonely and yet never tries to pursue them or make an effort to not be lonely

i will use milena as an example for how little she cares about the people around her

called her a downy and said something about cutting her wrists (unprompted and without context) and when milena was upset and ran away, she made it all about herself.

here i will quote: ''I messed up and is aid something mean without thinking to Milena and she left the school crying and now im scared she won’t want to be friends anymore so im literally crying in the school bathroom''

SHE is literally crying in the school bathroom. she's scared of losing a friend of hers for the reason that it will hurt her, not the fact that she made someone run crying out of school

and she insulted you when you tried helping which is NOT ON

quote again: ''I called her a downy and said something about cutting without knowing she’d take it to heart and she left the school and hour later with tears and then my friend told me what was wrong about what I said and my form teacher did too so now I’m scared for my behavioral grade and shit I texted Milena trying to explain myself and she only saw one part. im scared they’ll contact my mom and my mom will lash out at me. i feel so horrible''

she doesn't feel bad for milena (she had to be explained what was wrong to her by a friend) she is afraid about HER BEHAVIOURAL GRADE and her mother lashing out at her (which for once would be for good reason)

she isn't scared about losing milena as a person, she is scared of losing someone to lean on for encouragement, reliance and reassurance, and attention. that is how she views her friends (including us)

is overtly sexual while claiming to be asexual a year after claiming to be hypersexual

uses you as a cover

says slurs every time someone brings up lgbtq+ and says the t-slur every time or the f-slur (not saying i havent, although she uses it way more than me). called lily the n-word in a genuinely mean way (the one i said before that you noticed and confronted her about, yet she said to me ''i said it and kleo got onto me it was weird'' when it was deserved)

uses pictures of me saying the n word to make fun of me WHICH WAS FOUR YEARS AGO AND YOU HAVE ADMITTED I HAVE CHANGED UNBELIEVABLY IN THAT TIME. i admit i said it, but she has said it way way waywaywayway more times than me and i never used the hard r

she thinks slurs are funny and something to be made fun of (i have used them in comedic context but i mean she finds the idea of them funny)

lily also told me that when you told her off (rightfully) for saying the hard r, she says quote: ''FUCK HEEEEEEEELP HEEEELP MEEEEEEE. its so over bro kleos angry''

she thinks she is always in the right and by running to lily in dms she clearly wanted someone to back her up and go ''oh isnt this hilarious its just a joke''

i do not like her and she is a genuinely bad and pitiful person

[the-cat-chat]

March 2, 2024

Self Reliance (2023)

Given the opportunity to participate in a life or death reality game show, one man discovers there's a lot to live for.

JayBell: I think this movie has a great premise, especially for a comedy. I like how the movie uses this game as the trigger to get Jake Johnson to live and feel again and stop accepting isolation as his status quo. I like how the game motivates him to gain closure on past relationships. On the surface, the potential for a good movie is definitely there. I unfortunately think it does fail in execution.

My biggest issue is the behavior of his family. I guess their dynamic with Jake Johnson's character is supposed to be funny, but it just makes them unlikable overall. I get that they think he's lying or genuinely having a mental break, but doesn't that mean they should be more concerned instead of flippant? Instead of trying to get him real help, they bring in this lady with the sole purpose to prove themselves right and him wrong. The whole movie I was just waiting for a satisfying "I told you so" from Jake's character in the finale. But their reaction in the end is also flippant in a way. I think it would have been actually funny to have Jake's character play bits from his episode in the show to his family in the finale.

The romance just doesn't do it for me in this one. Anna Kendrick does a fine job, but the big "twist" for her character is kind of stupid and makes her character seem a bit mean spirited or even clueless.

Finally, the "ninjas" in the game appear too often to give messages to Jake Johnson's character instead of trying to kill him. That just breaks the tension because they feel like less of a threat overall.

P.S. It's crazy that Jake Johnson's character doesn't even ask for a contract or a lawyer or even bring it up or anything. I get that it's an underground game but it's wild that he accepts the terms without any real contract that states he gets money at the end of this ordeal. I would've liked some more clarity before he agrees to the game in the first place.

Rating: 4.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I just wanted to preface this review with some facts.

First. Back in the day- God strike me down- I thought Jake Johnson was so hot. Ok. I watched Let’s Be Cops too many times. Ok. Maybe it’s bc I thought he was cute and funny. Looking back the answer IS CUTE and FUNNY. Bc Self Reliance Jack Johnson is HOT. Ok. Dear Lord pls pray for my soul bc if I find one more man over forty hot I’m going to cry myself into a mental breakdown.

Second. Anna Kendrick. Somehow when I hear her name I think YES. She’s so funny. And I forget shhhee is funny. But I somehow forget every movie she’s been in. Twilight. Mr. Right. Pitch Perfect. The Voices!!!! And Scott Pilgrim. A Simple Favor?? NOW THAT THATS A HUGE VARYING SPECTRUM OF GOOD TIMES? Ok and none of those prepared me for this.

Finally. The premise. Awesome. Entertaining. Would you play? Blah blah blah.

Okkk. First. His family. Annoying. That’s all I’ll say bc if I acted like this and my family reacted like that. Wow. Okkk. Bc they should be concerned. Either he is nuts or people areeeee trying to kill him.

Second. The fact that the whhhole time I couldn’t decide is he nuts??? Or the game’s real. Which I get is the point but it drove me up the wall. And it’s a clever idea and then how he’s working through past trauma and then how you have to understand to survive and be self reliant on your own and all that good jazz with the point they are trying to make through his character. But it’s soo bizarre I don’t even care about the message of it.

And I’m just gonna leave it here about the money part. $145,000 over 200 and something months. Bc it’s a million Greenland $ and not US currency. I’d scream and sue. Like I’m am wanting to scream and sue right now. Uuuugggghhhh. That reallly just made me be entirely done with it all. And I get it he grew blah blah blah. I’m done. Totally done.

Rating: 2/10 Cats 🐈 (And yes 1 whole cat is bc I think he’s hot preknocked out tooth) I’m sorry.