#but i tried my best. soz

[soundwavemain]

Hold Your Heart In My Hands

A JazzWave fic requested by @fanficmaniatic | @karday 

General content warning for blood and tending to an injury.

In the surveillance room, Soundwave often found solace from his rowdy compatriots. No one bothered to step foot inside, not even his cassettes who were frankly too nosy for their own good. If anyone did accidentally enter the infamous surveillance room, they were subject to an interrogation from the Decepticon’s intimidating communications officer. Soundwave wasn’t stupid–he knew that not many aboard the Nemesis truly enjoyed his company. They were too put off by his stilted speech, his silent E.M. field, and his blank stare to attempt any friendly banter let alone stumble upon his secret sanctuary.

Of course, the surveillance room was the one place on the Nemesis that didn’t have any cameras monitoring it. Not even the hallway directly outside the door had a screen to display movement. With three vents leading to the room and how much time Soundwave spent inside it, it would be embarrassingly easy to off such an important member of Decepticon high command. Not that Soundwave was worried. He could handle almost anyone among their ranks and it wasn’t like the Autobots had enough gall to attack their vessel.

A tiny noise filtered through one of the vents. Soundwave stared at it as the sound of metal against metal slowly increased in volume until the vent cover popped off with a resounding slam! He sighed, covering his visor with his servo. Another clang echoed in the room as something much heavier than a vent cover landed on the floor. Soundwave dragged his servo across his faceplate. He should’ve erased the mech’s damn memory of this route. It would’ve been simple enough to restrain him, open up his helm, pick apart his processor to locate and lock the strain in his core files.

Instead, Soundwave snapped at the mech on his floor, “Jazz: not welcome here.”

Jazz smirked at Soundwave. He moved so his spinal strut rested against the wall. “C’mon, mech. You didn’t say that last time–”

“Jazz: desist,” Soundwave hissed to the spy’s amusement.

They both knew there would be no removing Jazz by physical means before he wanted to leave. Soundwave turned back to his wall of monitors. If Jazz insisted on staying, then Soundwave needed to do his best to ignore him. His optics followed the movements on the screens. Skywarp was testing her teleportation limits with Shockwave, Rumble and Frenzy were running from an oil-slicked Starscream, Shadow Striker raced through the halls, narrowly dodging mechs walking through the hallways, Hook removed a rogue missile from Vortex’s chassis–

A sharp tug at Soundwave’s processor nearly made him fall forward from the sudden abrasiveness of it. He managed to stay upright but his frame locked up. The pull dissipated to a weak pulse of energy. Soundwave had felt sensations much stronger than it many times outside the surveillance room. A damaged mech on the battlefield automatically requesting medical aid from a grievous injury, a cassette shot down while performing reconnaissance–they always released a distressing field to garner pity from nearby mechs.

Soundwave whipped around to stare down at Jazz who, while not under the Decepticon’s watchful gaze, had let his faceplate slip into a grimace. All at once, Soundwave realized Jazz’s E.M. field loosened from its tight shield held close to the mech’s plating and it was suddenly too difficult to ignore. The third in command moved without conscious thought, dropping to kneel beside the Autobot that had invaded the Nemesis time and time again.

“Jazz: injured?” Soundwave tried cautiously.

He had seen the other mech on the battlefield enough times to know that Jazz acted like a cybercat when hurt–he’d slink off when no one was paying attention to tend to his own wounds.

Once, in the aftermath of a particularly brutal battle, Soundwave went searching for a cassette that had gone missing in the fray. Instead, he had found Jazz splayed out on the ground with a giant chunk of his spinal strut sparking, incapable of movement. He could’ve terminated the mech–no one had ever caught the elusive Jazz with his guard down–but when Soundwave raised his blaster, Jazz merely tilted his helm back. As if the matter of deactivation was beyond him.

It irked him. It set off alarms across his HUD. Yet…

Soundwave had healed Jazz that day. Behind a cracked rock, Soundwave welded some wires closed–a butchered job at field medicine but it allowed the Autobot to crawl back to a real medic.

Now, Jazz winced, tilting his helm away. “Hope that offer’s still on the table. Even though we’re not… you know.”

Soundwave sighed in exasperation. Leave it to Jazz to use the worst words to describe their–don’t call it a relationship, it’s not a damned courtship–liaison. That was worse. He grabbed at Jazz’s arm, popping a piece of armor off to reveal the medical ports hidden beneath.

“Hey.” Jazz attempted to pull his arm back but his strength was waning. “Not even gonna offer a mech some energon first?”

Yes, Soundwave thought bitterly as he jammed one of his plugs into Jazz’s medical port, this was definitely worse. He ignored the other mech’s comments as he called upon the frame’s diagnostic data. His HUD lit up in an instant with notifications. He went through them, noting any concerning input before coming across a notice flashing red across his visor. A laceration in the upper chassis caused by rapid and continued movement jostling an embedded–

“You were shot?” Soundwave suddenly hissed, surprise overriding his vocalizer patch. He tried to look at Jazz in the optics but the spy kept avoiding his gaze. “Jazz: found by Decepticons?” His processor ran a mile a minute, formulating scenarios that would end in this exact outcome. He had never asked what brought the spy to his surveillance room that one fateful night, what kept him coming back for more, out of respect for both their sensitive jobs, but now Soundwave couldn’t help but wonder who among his ranks shot his–

“Not a Decepticon,” Jazz hissed. “An Autobot.”

“Oh.” That silenced Soundwave’s processor for a moment. Then it only piqued his interest. “Autobots: subject to insubordination?”

If the Autobots began attacking their own, they might be even easier to fell in a sweep led by Starscream should Megatron allow it…

A digit tapped Soundwave’s helm, bringing him back to the conversation. Right. Jazz was injured. And Soundwave was already planning the Autobots’ demise. He reset his vocalizer to ensure it didn’t needlessly glitch out on him again.

Before he had a chance to say anything, Jazz smirked at him and asked, “Soundwave: apologetic?”

The Decepticon couldn’t help the way his pauldrons hiked in his embarrassment. It was a far cry from a perfect mimicry of his voice but it didn’t need to be to get the point across. Instead of deigning Jazz with a proper response, he finally located the bullet wound and dug his digits in. Jazz hissed, batting at his arm.

“Easy, mech.”

“Jazz: not easy,” Soundwave mocked. He pressed his free servo against the other mech’s collar faring as his digits searched for the bullet.

It felt odd to be sticking his servo somewhere so close to Jazz’s spark, like an uncomfortable pinch to his sensornet’s common stimuli. This close, he couldn’t ignore the normally silent spy. Not just his words–Jazz’s entire frame seemed to work under the assumption that no one was authorized to listen to it. So the freed E.M. field, the frantic and nonsensical thought processes filtering through his audials, were… odd to say the least. He couldn’t mention it aloud, though. Knowing the intelligence officer, he’d scare the poor mech away by mentioning any of his internal functions.

Soundwave’s digits knocked against something. He checked Jazz’s faceplate and when he didn’t contort it any more than it already was, Soundwave grasped the object. It was small, solid–the bullet. As he began to remove it, Jazz’s servo covered his. He paused, staring at the Autobot’s blank visor. “Bullet: needs to be removed. Frame nanites cannot begin self-healing with alien object obstructing their–”

Jazz gritted his dentae to ignore the pain. “If that bullet comes out, you’re gonna have worse problems than a dead Autobot on your hands.”

“Earth slang,” Soundwave tutted.

At that, Jazz grinned. “This Earth slang got pretty far with you, didn’t it?”

Soundwave twisted his digits. “Desist,” he ordered.

“Scrap. I got the message, mech.” Jazz pushed at Soundwave’s arm. They were still attached. Somehow, that was more embarrassing than being servo-deep in the mech’s chassis. “‘s a tracking bullet.”

The Decepticon froze. An Autobot shot Jazz with a tracking bullet. An Autobot shot Jazz with a tracking bullet. Soundwave’s frame moved subconsciously, pressing the blaster he kept tucked away in his subspace against Jazz’s mandible. The barrel forced Jazz to tilt his helm back. He batted at Soundwave’s arm like he wasn’t being held at gunpoint. Like Soundwave wasn’t flinging his energon everywhere.

“Relax,” Jazz insisted, hissing low. “It won’t send a locator beacon.” He pushed at Soundwave’s arm–not the one aiming a gun at his helm. No. The one still forming a medical connection between the two mechs. “My security protocols deactivated my internal locator beacon millennia ago. Which means,” he drawled, visor flickering, “the bullet’s signal is blocked as long as it’s in my frame.”

It made sense, Soundwave reasoned with all of his processing that still argued to kill Jazz–annihilate the enemy, the threat to his cassettes. He shook his helm. Those logic strains were based on irrational emotions. It wouldn’t do him well to give them any credence. Still, his blaster remained where it was. “Jazz: true purpose for coming here. Answer now.”

Usually, anyone–Autobot and Decepticon–trembled at the rumble in Soundwave’s glyphs when he took on a threatening tone. Under normal circumstances, the Decepticon’s third in command could paint fear in the spark of any mech he spoke to.

Jazz was not an average mech.

His servo tugged at Soundwave’s, pulling it closer to his chassis. “Gonna make me say it, huh.” He wasn’t asking. He knew. Soundwave wasn’t the type of mech to do anything unless he was asked and he would make Jazz ask. “You’ve got those seismic waves, right? I’ve seen you use them on the battlefield. Destroyed everything in your path.” He pressed Soundwave’s servo flat against his wound. “Think you can focus that right here for me?”

Soundwaves were catastrophic weapons. They could deactivate an entire squadron of mechs in a matter of kliks. Soundwave only used the trick when under extreme stress, when he believed he had nothing left to lose. He attempted to separate himself from Jazz. “Seismic waves: incredibly damaging.”

But Jazz didn’t seem to comprehend the magnitude of his request. He pressed forward, clutching Soundwave’s servo. “When used by a random mech, sure. You’re not just anybody, Sounds.” His glyphs turned to a soft buzzing static as he said the Decepticon’s designation. It left Soundwave checking to see if the noise had knocked his gyros off kilter. “C’mon. You can focus that power here, can’t you?”

“Jazz: requires medical assistance,” Soundwave tried instead. He couldn’t escape Jazz’s iron-clad grip on his servo but knew that if Jazz persisted, it wouldn’t end well. He could deactivate him. “Soundwave: incapable of completing request.”

“Hey,” came Jazz’s gentle voice. Soundwave silently cursed how the tender intonation made it so his spark eased in its casing. The Autobot reached for his other servo, the one holding the blaster. It fell with a clatter as Jazz slid his digits across his palm and intertwined their digits. “Use that big, beautiful processor of yours. I know you’re still searching through our connection. You’ve gotta be able to see my spark readings. What do they say?”

Despite the uneasiness that continued to plague Soundwave’s field, he listened to Jazz. It was simple enough to pull the information from their link. His visor dimmed as the readings filled his HUD.

He froze.

Although Jazz was suffering from an injury, trapped under the stress from energon loss, his spark spun at an even pace. Soundwave’s visor brightened to the image of Jazz’s calm faceplate. 

“I trust you, Soundwave.”

Oh.

Oh.

And wasn’t that just a terrifying thing? Soundwave held his enemy’s life in his servos. He didn’t even want to take it–what kind of Decepticon was he? He stared at where his servo still covered Jazz’s wound, then at the rapidly dimming blue visor.

“Soundwave: will try,” he said slowly.

The smile Jazz threw his way sent his spark spinning again. He busied himself by building up seismic waves to the speed of his spark. A low, constant hum filled the surveillance room as the waves traveled through his arm. He increased the force, the hum turning into a deep, plating-rattling rumble. Multiple pop-ups filled his HUD. He cleared them before they could convince him to stop. The bullet was deteriorating from the collisions. Soundwave could do this. He could do this for Jazz. Red flashed across his optics as he doubled down. They only needed to hold out just a bit longer. He watched the last pieces of the tracking bullet evaporate, entering Jazz’s fuel lines to be discarded.

Soundwave did it.

He saved Jazz.

“Jazz–!”

The glyphs turned into a frenzied static as Soundwave finally looked at Jazz’s grey visor. All too suddenly, the sensation of the other mech’s limp grip registered to Soundwave’s overtaxed processor. An odd, warbled noise echoed in the surveillance room. It took him a moment to realize that the sound came from him.

“Jazz,” he whispered, leaning close to the other mech.

There wasn’t the comforting thrum of a spark easing into a normal spin rate, no readings going into the green as Jazz’s frame finally relaxed while its nanites worked to repair him–only silence.

“Jazz,” he tried again. “Jazz: respond.”

Nothing.

“Jazz,” his glyphs were basically static at that point, cracking from the force on his vocalizer, “respond.”

It felt like a cacophony of sensations–the hum of mechs speaking through the monitors, the constant buzz of the equipment, the erratic vents coming from Soundwave. He had to do something. But what? He was a communications officer. He managed surveillance. He couldn’t even perform basic field medicine, let alone reactivate a terminated mech.

“Jazz,” Soundwave sobbed.

His digits dug into the wound, energon already congealing at the opening. He hoped for a curse, a swat from the other mech’s servo for the harsh treatment. He searched through their medical link for any readings. The only reports that came up were the last spark notes, the speed of its spin, how it abruptly stopped–

Soundwave froze. He read the report, then read it again. Jazz’s spark skipped then skittered to a stop when Soundwave amped up his waves. Perhaps… he could use his waves to jumpstart Jazz’s spark.

It had to work.

It had to.

The release for Jazz’s chestplates was easy to find through their link. They opened with a hiss from the hydraulics already beginning to seize. Inside lay his spark–bright white, nearly blinding, but starting to dull by the klik. Soundwave pressed both his servos against it, wincing at the heat it gave off and the way Jazz’s arm came along with his. He released his seismic waves just as he had done before. His optics searched frantically for some sort of physical sign that it was working. When there was nothing, he searched through their connection. Jazz’s spark was stagnating–not brightening, not turning dull. Soundwave increased the power of his waves, ignoring the sound of their armor rattling against protoform.

And–

Frame reboot: successful.

Running diagnostics.

On instinct, Jazz dismissed the scans. His processor ached and the screenings usually didn’t tell him anything he couldn’t feel for himself.

Reinitializing diagnostic scans.

Now that was odd…

Jazz searched through his HUD for what was overriding his commands and found a basic connection formed between his medical ports and another mech. His processor lagged for a moment as it attempted to form the necessary logic strains to figure out what happened.

That’s when one hundred percent of the past however long hit him like a semi–Optimus had apologized for cycles after but, scrap, it still ached in his pelvic joints–

Jazz groaned. His helm fell back, clanging against the wall. “Pitslag. ‘s like Volcanicus stepped on me…” A firm weight shuffled in his lap. When he onlined his optics, he met Soundwave’s bright yellow gaze. “Hey, Sounds. I’m ‘nna guess everything went well.”

At first, Soundwave said nothing. Just kept his unwavering gaze set on Jazz’s faceplate. Then he raised a servo and pressed it against Jazz’s mandible, soft to start then firm once he realized Jazz wasn’t going to leave. A creaky, frail noise came from his vocalizer. All at once, he pressed forward, pulling Jazz closer.

“Jazz: functioning,” he whispered over and over again.

He pressed his mask to Jazz’s faceplate. It left the spy quite thrown for a loop. Jazz tried to turn and face Soundwave but was stopped by the Decepticon’s mouth on his–when’d he even lower his mask? His frame froze, hydraulics seizing with a whine. Soundwave was kissing him.

Soundwave was kissing him.

Since when–

Subconsciously, Jazz shook his helm. He wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth–earth slang–and offlined his optics. His arms came around Soundwave’s middle, his digits fitting into the grooves along the Decepticon’s spinal strut. The divide between his chassis and Soundwave’s was nonexistent, held together as they were. A ping came up on his HUD that he had finally reached an optimum internal temperature after rebooting. When Soundwave pulled away, Jazz felt dazed, confused. He didn’t bother to online his optics.

“You gotta tell me what happened.”

Soundwave slipped closer. “Request: later?”

“Later,” Jazz agreed. “Later.”

[inhidingxoxo3637]

Oh she's bbg

[foundfamilyappreciation]

Hey all! Since round 2 is rapidly approaching, reminder that if you think the photo for a contestant isn’t that great, especially if it’s for a non-visual medium, feel free to submit a better one! And if it’s fan art, please ask the artist for permission and give full credit when submitting, thanks!

[astonmartinii]

ice, ice baby (literally) | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x raikkonen!reader

the ice man may have never spoken, but his daughter never shuts the fuck up

based on the request from @blue-skyandstars

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, sebastianvettel and 783,409 others

yourusername: taking names and kicking asses (and getting all assignments in on time with an appropriate amount of ass licking)

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user1: i love how she is so clearly kimi's daughter

user2: the only two blondes that don't freak me out

user3: insert that paris hilton clip "can i have two more of these little blonde bitches?"

maxverstappen1: what's an appropriate amount of ass licking and can i demonstrate on you?

maxverstappen1: wait! who said that?

yourusername: in your dreams car boy

maxverstappen1: trust me i see you in my dreams all the time

yourusername: so that's why you're always in the shower when i call you in the morning....

user4: i'm new here, are they together?

yourusername: wouldn't you like to know weather boy

maxverstappen1: she's actually my sleep paralysis demon, sorry to say

user5: they're so unserious

kimiraikkonen: keep those studies up i'm paying the bills

yourusername: i promise to use my status as a nepo baby for good papa 🫡

kimiraikkonen: proud of you.

user6: we love a self aware girly

user7: the raikkonen household really is the best balance, a guy who acts like talking causes him physical pain and a girl who couldn't shut the fuck up if she tried

yourusername: no way i'd rather it be

charles_leclerc: how many versions of that shirt do you have?

yourusername: enough...

charles_leclerc: and i'm the one who is a threat to national security when i go shopping

yourusername: that trouser collection should get you on some sort of list

user8: all these f1 drivers in her likes and comments and she's not cuffed... why is she fumbling so bad

yourusername: am I fumbling or are THEY?

user9: expose the dms please

yourusername: that would not be pg13 soz!

maxverstappen1

liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 1,094,556 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: oh look who decided to come back

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user10: max is so annoyed that she decided to go to school in the us that he makes all american fans lives hell by winning all the races

user11: so true of him

landonorris: matching books? you're such a simp

maxverstappen1: is a man forbidden to be in a book club? who backwards of you lando

yourusername: just because you can't read, don't take it out on us

landonorris: i can read!

yourusername: name the last book you read

yourusername: and that doesn't include searching your name on twitter

landonorris: can you go back already, you're so mean

yourusername: don't come for our two man book club if you can't handle the smoke

maxverstappen1: what she said

user12: i love how spring break starts and y/n doesn't even go to see her dad, straight to max

maxverstappen1: kimi is coming! i am NOT a bad friend who deprives y/n of her dad

user12: you're also scared of kimi

maxverstappen1: i'm also scared of kimi

danielricciardo: you're in my building and i don't get any baked goods... i see how it is

yourusername: as if max is allowed to eat them anyway they're for dad

danielricciardo: i promptly take back anything i've ever said

user13: max has got to be down bad to have that much baking equipment in his house when it's canon he can barely cook eggs

yourusername: if he wanted to he would

user14: is this confirmation?

yourusername: i hope those are paper straws you're grasping at

maxverstappen1: why wouldn't i make sure i have the equipment to get my worker bee to make me sweet treats (don't read that rupert)

user15: i'm on to you two ... there's something shady going on here

sebastianvettel

liked by kimiraikkonen, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,409 others

tagged: yourusername

sebastianvettel: she's too old, i miss when she was a nice and polite child

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user19: annual god father seb appearance

user20: y/n please work your magic to get him to a race this weekend

yourusername: i'm working on it! watch out for suzuka

user21: the people's princess truly

yourusername: rude! i am a very polite young woman 🙁

sebastianvettel: yes you are, but also when you were ten you didn't bother me with your love life

sebastianvettel: and you weren't so fussy with food

yourusername: I AM NOT FUSSY I JUST HAVE AN ACQUIRED TASTE

sebastianvettel: you asked me to uninvite lewis to our dinner plans because you "hate that quinoa shit, i'm hungry enough to kill a horse with my bare hands"

yourusername: and i'd say it again!

lewishamilton: first of all: rude. second of all: i knew there was a reason you and max get on so well - BLAND

maxverstappen1: just because my food doesn't turn my shit green or couldn't accidentally be sold in the rabbit section of the pet store doesn't make me BLAND

yourusername: i don't trust a man who makes non-alocholic tequila THE FACT IT GETS YOU DRUNK IS THE BEST PART OF THE TEQUILA ONLY WEIRDOS DRINK TEQUILA FOR THE TASTE

lewishamilton: gasp! you said you liked it!

yourusername: i try to be supportive okay :(

user22: well that was something

user23: max always coming to the rescue ... makes you think

charles_leclerc: i am sensing some blatant favouritism here

mickschumacher: i never get invited on baking weekends :(

yourusername: snooze you lose ladies

sebastianvettel: this is exactly what i mean y/n

yourusername: my bad! i'm sorry my god father loves me more than you :p get well soon

sebastianvettel: that's not-

charles_leclerc: consider yourself in beef

yourusername: it's on babe

user24: gosh i'm so confused WHO THE FUCK DO I WANT TO GET WITH HER

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, kimiraikkonen and 809,445 others

yourusername: boy, oh, boy am i ready to finish this semester

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user26: i see tulips i do deduce that they are from max verstappen 🤓👆

user27: i hate you invasive leeches (i believe this and it is now my personal headcanon)

maxverstappen1: SEAT BELT PLEASE

yourusername: i swear i did 😫

maxverstappen1: you need to protect the precious goods

landonorris: you never tell me that 🙁

maxverstappen1: you're not precious goods, hope this helps x

landonorris: i see how it is

yourusername: don't hate the player, hate the game lando

user28: they've either got the single most flirtatious friendship ever to exist or they're together

user29: if they are just friends and those flowers are from her actual gf - i am not being dramatic but i would take a long walk off a short plank

user30: i feel like they'd be the ultimate cockblocks for each other 😭

kimiraikkonen: proud of you bub

yourusername: i am losing hair from academic stress i hope you're happy papa

kimiraikkonen: i am 👍🏻

yourusername: i am losing hair - LOSING HAIR THIS IS A BIG DEAL YOU PAY FOR MY APPOINTMENTS

kimiraikkonen: you need a college education so you're not wasting all of my money - i also pay your sorority dues so be nice to me

yourusername: i'm tired let me be the low effort nepo baby i am meant to be

user31: can kimi raikkonen pay for my hair appointments too?

jensonbutton: is that MY CAR?

yourusername: you put me on the insurance?

jensonbutton: yeah for when your car was in the shop - i thought shelby was still in my garage?

yourusername: not to victim blame but having so many cars you don't notice one is gone, that's on you

jensonbutton: @KIMIRAIKKONEN YOUR KID STOLE MY CAR

yourusername: britt gave me the keys !!!!!!

kimiraikkonen: you got duped by a 21 year old, that's not my fault

user32: kimi when y/n jokes about dropping out 🤨 kimi when y/n steals one of jenson's cars 🥹

maxverstappen1

liked by kimiraikkonen, landonorris and 2,305,689 others

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maxverstappen1: ice, ice baby (except you're smoking hot)

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user35: WHOOP WHOOP LET'S FUCKING GO

user36: max already having the approval of kimi, that's my king

maxverstappen1: make no mistake i went to the raikkonen household with many offerings before i asked for his permission

user37: and if he had said no?

maxverstappen1: i would've asked y/n regardless 🫡

kimiraikkonen: 🤨

maxverstappen1: uh? i'm digging my own grave but i love your daughter so that's all the matters right? RIGHT?

kimiraikkonen: 🙄

maxverstappen1: WOULD IT KILL YOU TO USE THE KEYBOARD I'M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN HERE

user38: the way max got given approval on live tv with more words than we've heard from kimi at any point in his career and he's still a shaking mess

user39: anxious girl representation

yourusername: you melted this icicle

maxverstappen1: eh i think you've always been a softy

charles_leclerc: like softserve ice cream? shop @lec now!

maxverstappen1: do you fucking mind?

yourusername: really? on the post of my boyfriend professing his love?

charles_leclerc: god forbid a guy chases the bag (also he called you smoking hot, that's hardly a profession of love)

maxverstappen1: you little rat

yourusername: lifetime supply of lec and a flavour named after us and consider yourself forgiven

charles_leclerc: i don't need your approval that much

yourusername: @kimiraikkonen @sebastianvettel you seeing this shit?

charles_leclerc: fine... weaponising your dad and god father is a low blow

yourusername: also! i love you baby - thank you for putting up with my constant yapping xx

maxverstappen1: i love you even more, i can't wait for you to finish college so i never have to share you ever again

kimiraikkonen: 🤨

maxverstappen1: AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY

yourusername: they love you really maxy don't worry

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 1.945,440 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i'm so talented, i brought three more championships to the family without even getting into the car

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user40: okay idk why yall were shipping anyone else, i've seen one picture of them being cute and am sold

user41: i'm so convinced this happened cause max saw people were convinced she was with other people on the grid and he had to mark his territory

maxverstappen1: yes i was jealous but can you blame me? prettiest girl in the world actually wanted me back. i will not fumble this

user42: i need my man to be this down bad for me

kimiraikkonen: cute.

yourusername: thank you papa xxx

maxverstappen1: THANK YOU KIMI, LOVE YOU KIMI

yourusername: i think he gets it babe...

maxverstappen1: first time i've got a non-emoji answer, i will savour it

user43: oh my i love them your honour

sebastianvettel: happy for you guys, see you guys soon

yourusername: love you seb!

maxverstappen1: thanks for the vote of confidence seb

sebastianvettel: you may be a literal nightmare child, but you're our nightmare child now

kimiraikkonen: what he said

maxverstappen1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (i am ignoring that you called me a nightmare child, i was 17 give me a break)

yourusername: you guys he's crying hahahahahah

maxverstappen1: i just love you guys (y/n more)

yourusername: i love you too xx

user44: so liked now we've got the relationship reveal... when do we get both y/n and kimi in the red bull garage

user45: lets up the stakes and get max, kimi and seb in the 24 hours of le mans

yourusername: oh now you've started it - he's already on the phone to adrian

maxverstappen1: am i the first nepotism boyfriend?

kimiraikkonen: you might be the favourite of the in-laws if you get me a le mans win

maxverstappen1: y/n is an only child? i'm the only in law?

kimiraikkonen: yes?

maxverstappen1: I'M ON THE PHONE TO ADRIAN

yourusername: did i just lose my boyf to my dad?

fin.

note: babe the writer's block is back. but i'm fighting it. hope yall enjoyed this!

[workinatdapyramid]

august 𐐪𐑂

steven conklin x fem!fisher!reader

WARNINGS: fighting, cursing, underage drinking, shayla isn’t in this soz, angsty teens lol, mentions from scenes in the books!, reader doesn’t like taylor, book taylor personality ( show taylor >>>> )

SUMMARY: it wasn’t belly that found out about taylor and steven, it was his best friends little sister

m’s blah blah blahhhhh: we need some more steven appreciation on here… GIVE MY SWEET BOY SOME RECOGNITION!!!

take a peak ;)

this is kind of long… i kinda got carried away LOLZ SORRT NOT SORRY

* .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

“twenty bucks she calls you jeremy again.” belly chuckles.

you, belly, and your older brother stood at the curb waiting for bellys best friend taylor at the bus stop. today was bellys 16th birthday which meant hurricane taylor visiting for the day.

you weren’t exactly fond of her ever since the summer she came to visit when you guys were 14. yes, you had to play nice with her for belly but stringing along your older brother jeremiah wasn’t exactly a good start to a friendship.

you chuckled beside the newly 16 year old as jere teasingly pushed her into you from his place beside her.

“i don’t.. i think she learned from last time.” he argued. “you think?” you teased, making a mental note that jere will infact be handing over that $20 before the end of the night.

“that’s how she flirts with you” belly mocked facing you as you both made smooching noises.

the bus pulled up infront of you guys, the brakes making a loud hissing noise.

“here she comes.” you say rolling your eyes as the short girl barely fits through the bus doors with the pile of balloons tied to her wrists.

the long time best friends squeal and hug reuniting for the first time since summer began causing you to roll your eyes even more.

jere turns toward you mouthing be nice

“belly you tart! you finally took my advice this outfit is snatched,” taylor spun the brunette in a circle admiring her dress. “isn’t belly looking like a snack?” she asked jeremiah a hint of something mischievous in her eyes.

“always.” the curly headed blonde smiled. he reached for taylor’s bag being the kind boy your mother raised him to be. taylor smirks batting her eyelashes up at the tall boy.

“thank you. you’re such a gentleman, jeremy.” she giggles.

you stood off to the side watching the interaction laughing to yourself knowing your brothers going to be $20 short when we get home.

“hey taylor long time no see.” you smiled offering the girl a polite side hug.

“omg y/n i didn’t even see you there, when did you get hot?” she questioned looking you up and down.

gosh this was going to be a long day.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

you sat beside taylor, jeremiah and belly across from you. a banana float melting in the middle of the table as belly opened her gift from her best friend. a pink bikini. jeremiah teased her about but you knew deep down he can’t wait to see her in it.

taylor takes a bite of the frozen treat as she said, “okay, so, whats the plan for tonight? where’s the party?”

“well, susannah always plans a big lobster dinner.” belly smiles as she puts the bathing suit back in the bag.

you and jere smiling towards each-other, being big fans of the birthday dinner tradition.

“boring. no.” taylor whines causing the three of you to look towards her with furrowed brows. “it’s your 16th birthday. we have to go out” the red head continued.

“no, no, no. these dinners are really, really fun.” belly tried to reason with her stubborn friend.

“yeah, and my mom had the idea to make it midsommar themed, so she got flower crowns especially made for us and everything.” you added taylor quickly glances at you then turns back towards her best friend.

“don’t you think you should be spending your birthday with people your own age?” taylor says taking another spoonful into her mouth.

“i am. you’re here.” belly said clearly annoyed by her bossyness.

“hello? am i invisible?” jeremiah cuts in trying to defuse the tension. he was really good at that. “and i guess steven.” taylor smirks. you shift uncomfortably hoping no one notcied. your brother obviously did scoffing at taylor’s remark.

you look towards belly, her already looking back. everyone in the house knows about your crush on steven the same way they knew about belly with conrad. ever since you were younger the boy was your prince charming. always being there in to cheer you up or piss you off but hey, that’s steven.

“and cams coming, too.” belly quickly changes the subject. you sigh silently thanking her.

“yay, i’m so excited to meet the guy who finally got you to take your eyes off of you-know-who.” taylor jokes.

as quickly as belly was to change the subject she quickly regretted it.

“taylor.” belly warned glancing towards jeremiah.

you coughed.

way to go taylor.

queen of making people feel uncomfortable..

“i have an idea. we can go to nicole’s big blowout at her place tonight. maybe go after dinner?” jere once again defusing the tension

you watched as taylor started at belly

“um yes!” taylor squealed in a matter of fact voice.

“woah, only if bells wants to go? it’s her birthday after all. we gotta do what whatever she wants. boring dinner or not.” you tell taylor not missing the look she gave you. you felt jeremiah lightly kick your leg under the table. you looked towards him. giving him a ‘what?’ expression.

you know how taylor can make belly feel like a side character most of the time and you’ll be dammed if you let taylor do that on her birthday.

belly smiles toward you silently thanking you for having her back.

“who’s nicole?” taylor asked jeremiah turning her harsh glance away from you.

belly smiles excited to fill in her best friend with the plans she’s made over here in cousins.

“she’s my big sister for the deb ball. she’s super nice and just really cool and fun and-

“ugh, i’m, like melting right now. can we go back to the house? i want to change into my bikini and jump in the pool.” taylor interupts belly looking at jere as she finished her sentence.

you roll your eyes standing up from the table as jeremiah says sure

taylor skips toward the car

jeremiah walking next to her as she called shot gun.

“come on bells.” you say putting your arm around her shoulders offering her a sympathetic smile.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

back at the house you, belly, jeremiah, steven, and taylor were in the pool. belly and taylor on one side jeremiah and steven on the other side.

you swam towards the two boys who were hanging off the edge of the pool deck.

“oh hey y/n/n you spying on us?” jeremiah teased. you rolled you eyes splashing him with the cold water. you hated when he called you that. stupid nickname that only reminded you of being a kid.

“stop calling me that i’m not five anymore.” you stuck your tongue out at him, he playfully did it back.

“yeah man cmon y/n’s all grown now. she’s not my little y/n/n anymore.” steven jokingly puts his hand over his heart in agony.

you dunk his head under the water in return, trying to hide your blush from him. it was moments like these where you had hope for something more. where you didn’t just feel like his best friends little sister anymore.

steven quickly comes up from the water his dark wet hair covering his eyes.

“oh yeah?” he challenged lifting you up and dunking you under the water.

you resurface hearing jeremiah and him share a laugh and a high five.

“oh screw you steve-o” you yelled splashing the boy who had your heart.

“any time any place.” he smirked.

gosh that smirk

jeremiah fake gags as your cheeks stained a pretty pink. steven always knew how to give you butterflies.

“we know you’re gossiping about us over there.” you hear taylor say causing stevens glance to change towards her.

as quickly as he gave you butterflies they were fast to be replaced with a pit in your stomach. you shift your gaze down as the two go back in forth with playful banter.

“let’s play chicken! i call steven!” taylor yelled.

you quickly moved towards the pool stairs to hide your frown from the others.

“i’m gonna go see if mom needs any help with dinner.” your voice barely above a whisper. the cool breeze causing you to shiver as you climb out of the pool

“you sure y/n/n?” jeremiah asks you, clearly noticing your mood change.

“yeah it’s fine there was an uneven amount anyways.” you grab your towel and head for the house not turning back

jeremiah turns towards belly, both teens sharing a knowing look.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

you sat on the couch of your second home sulking in your wet towel. mentally cursing at yourself for letting her get to you. you should be out there having fun. it’s bellys birthday for crying out loud.

your thoughts were soon cut short as connie, your oldest brother walks into the living room.

“hey dimples,” he says standing behind your seat on the couch, “why aren’t you out there with the others?” he asks ruffling his calloused hand through your wet hair.

you softly smile at the nickname. connie called you that ever since you guys were younger. oh how you missed your sweet brother

“taylors here.” you mutter pushing his hand away. he chuckles plopping himself down on the couch next to you. “aw, you mean your best friend?” he teases. “yeah fuck you” you shove him lightly chuckling.

“you can’t let her get to you kid. that’s just how she is” he sighs.

“yeah the same girl that hates you because you didn’t like her that summer she was like 14? that’s just how she is.” you roll your eyes doing finger quotes at the last part. connie laughs.

“why don’t you just tell steven how you feel already so you can stop sulking around all summer?” he asks.

you quickly sit up turning towards him with wide eyes. “you’re one to talk mr dark and mysterious. i don’t see you confessing your undying love for belly!” you challenge him reaching over smacking him with a throw pillow.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about… shut up.” he whispers.

you laugh shifting closer to your brother you lay your head on his shoulder. “besides he only see me as a kid anyways. i’ll always be just conrad and jeremiah’s little sister to him.” you sigh closing your eyes.

you stay like that for a while. just enjoying eachothers company. ever since april conrad’s been distant towards everyone so you miss having moments like these with your brother.

“aw my sweet angels.” you hear your mom squeal as she walked into the kitchen.

“hi mom hi laur.” you smile getting up from the couch and greeting your favorite women with a hug.

“do you need help with those?” conrad points to the brown bag full of corn on the counter.

“yes actually, we were supposed to keep dinner light but you know your mom.” laurel playfully side eyes her best friend.

“what?! it’s bellys 16th birthday.” she smiles. “and she’ll love it mom.” you smile back.

“wanna shuck these for us since your not busy?” susannah asked you and conrad pointing towards the corn.

“omg do you hear that? yeah i think bellys calling me. i gotta go hang with taylor and the birthday girl sorry love you bye!” you quickly run back outside.

“i’ll do it mom.” conrad rolls his eyes grabbing the bag.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

once outside you see steven sitting on the porch and jere climbing out of the pool. taylor and belly were probably off walking along the shore down by the beach.

jeremiah notices you and takes his leave inside claiming his need for a shower leaving you and steven outside.

“are you alright?” steven asks straining his neck to look at you standing behind him. "you kind of left in a hurry before."

you walk over sitting next to him on the porch steps.

“i’m fine conklin.” you laugh shifting your arms around your stomach. you tried so hard not to seem nervous around him but he could read you like a book.

steven chuckled looking away from you back towards the ocean. “okay.” he laughs. “but you could talk to me about anything. i’m serious i’ll always be here for you y/n/n.” he says more seriously this time.

you turn to him to see he was already looking at you. you search for something to say, anything, but you couldn't so you settle for a comforting smile. your breathe starts to quicken as you realize how close you guys were. steven noticed it too. his chest moving up and down at a fast pace.

“i just sometimes wish things were different.” you whispered half hoping he didn’t hear you but you knew he did.

“how so?” he whispered back. his gaze locked on your eyes intense.

for a moment you could’ve sworn his eyes flicked to your lips then back up to your eyes but theres no way.. right?

steven wouldn’t kiss you.. would he? no.

he just sees you as his best friends little sister. nothing more…

you're internally screaming as he slowly leans in

your eyes flutter shut waiting to feel his soft lips against yours

this is it.

finally

this is what you’ve wanted your whole life.

“oh hey y/n” you hear taylor yell as her and belly walk back up to the house.

steven quickly jumps up not saying a word as he rushed into the house.

you wanted to die.

just shrivel up and die.

you blink rappidly getting rid of the tears forming in your eyes and smile up towards the two girls.

“i’m starving! let’s go wash up before dinner.” belly smiles pulling you up from the steps and walking into the house.

it’s just one day it’s just one day it’s just one day

you kept reminding yourself as you trailed behind the hurricane pouring on your love life

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

the table was littered with plates filled with delicious food. there was vases of flowers in the middle that matched with the flower crowns on belly, taylor, and your heads. the dinning room was filled with chatter and giggles from everyone getting along.

susannah and laurel sat on opposite ends of the table refilling the hungry teenagers plates. taylor, belly, you, and cam on one side and jere, conrad, and steven on the other.

“thank you so much for having me susannah! my moms says hi.” cam, bellys boyfriend smiled holding his fork up to show his thanks for the food.

you laugh along with the others as the moms interrogate bellys first boyfriend. cam cameron was the nickname everyone called him. you liked him. it’s like he fit right in with the rest of you guys. you were so happy for belly.

“why don’t you eat meat, cam cameron?” jeremiah asked the shy boy. he tries his best to seem intimidating but ultimately cracks his signature smile. classic jere.

“i like animals.” he answered simply. not bothered by all the questions thrown his way.

you adjust the flower crown on your head accidentally making eye contact with steven. you guys haven’t spoke since almost kissing on the stairs. you intend to keep it that way not wanting to have that talk.. the 'you're my best friends little sister we can't do this' talk.

you quickly look away feeling the pit in your stomach return.

“just don’t come for my leather jacket.” taylor chuckles from the other side of the table. you genuinely laughed. she was kinda funny sometimes.

your laugh quickly disappeared once you heard steven teasing her. he just always had an answer when it came to taylor didn’t he.

you finish the rest of your lobster with a sigh patting your well fed stomach.

“that was really good mom.” you said. causing sighs in agreement around the table.

“i agree! thank you too y/n. kinda glad you went inside to help cook after all.” steven said looking at you. the first thing he said to you since what happened on the porch. you look at him with a blank expression.

jeremiah changes the subject going right back to interrogating cam cameron about eating meat which ended in him quickly pecking bellys lips.

you laugh but quickly glance towards conrad who was already looking back down at his plate.

steven and jeremiah both pretend to retch. “i’m sorry i just don’t understand why anybody would want to kiss somebody who once fully shat in the bathtub.” classic steven says embarrassing his little sister.

“i was like two years old!” belly argues

“two? more like six!” jeremiah and steven yelled at the same time. the two immature boys erupt in laughter.

you playfully roll you eyes at the two while belly yells at her brother to shut up.

“i remember when i visited last summer, and you and you dared him to pee in the fireplace, and you stink up the entire house for days. do you remember that?” taylor points towards your brothers and steven. you all laughed reliving all the memories this house held.

“you know i’m thinking.. maybe we should go to nicole’s party.” belly turns toward taylor and you smiling.

“yes!” you and taylor said at the same time.

boy did you need alcohol in your system after the day you had.

after a few more jokes and steven and bells bickering everyone decided to get ready for the party.

you were touching up your makeup in your bedroom when you heard a knock at your door.

“its open” you said not looking towards the door as you reapplied your mascara.

“hey little fisher” you heard steven say as he closed the door. you almost dropped the mascara wand. you turned around facing him uttering a small hey.

“i know we are about to leave for the party but do you think when we get back home we could talk about what happened on the porch?” you could tell he was nervous. he didn’t meet your gaze at all and he was fidgeting.

“but nothing happened on the porch” you felt a pang in your chest.

he sighed, “i know but that’s the thing..” he said stepping closer to you. “i wanted something to happen.” he finished.

you swallowed. “oh” was all you could say.

you guys stood there for a while. silence filled the room.

“i also wanted it to happen. so yes, we can talk about it when we get home” you smile. you can’t believe this is happening right now.

“okay.” he smiled

“okay.” you said as he turned around to leave your room looking back at you one last time.

once you were sure he walked away from the door you jumped up and down looking at yourself in the mirror.

“fuck yeah y/n fuck yeah.” you whispered to yourself smiling ear to ear.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

gotta give it to jere he always knew how to make a scene. you and belly sat on the couch hysterical watching cam cameron and jeremiah singing horrendously along to summer loving.

maybe coming to the party was a good idea after all. “i can’t stand to watch this any longer i’m gonna go find a bathroom.” you laughed getting up from the couch.

you squeezed through all the drunken bodies dancing together on the makeshift dance floor in the living room. you found nicole standing by the drink table.

“oh hey y/n” she greets you with a tight hug. “are you having fun?” she asks taking a sip from whatever was in her cup.

“actually i really am. you sure know how to throw a banger.” you said cringing at yourself. god why are you so awkward.

nicole just smiled

“hey um where’s the bathroom?” you asked actually needing to pee after all.

“the one downstairs has a line it hasn’t moved in ages so just go upstairs! it’s right to your left!” she said.

you thanked her as you made your way towards the stairs. jeremiah, belly, and cam standing near by.

“hey have you seen taylor?” belly asked you. you shook your head no. “i'll help you find her after i use the bathroom?” you ask. she thanked you.

the music faded as you walked up the stairs of nicole’s house. yeah the beach house was big but nothing compared to this. if you didn’t ask nicole where to go you definitely would’ve gotten lost.

you opened the door on the left but it was preoccupied by a couple hooking up. you quickly muttered sorry as you closed the door shaking your head to forget the sight.

you kept looking for an open room hoping to find one with a bathroom in it.

gosh how you hated horny drunk teenagers.

you opened the last door praying to all the gods it was free and had a bathroom. you were about to piss your pants.

you opened the door and all of a sudden the urge to pee was gone.

there in the room was taylor propped on the dresser making out with steven.

your steven.

he was standing between her legs. his hands on her waist as they made out.

your mouth was dry

you couldn’t process the scene in front of you.

you wanted to crumble to the ground and cry.

“conklin?” your voice cracked as steven whipped his head around to see you standing at the door.

taylor quickly hopped off the dresser pulling her dress down.

“oh, my god- shit” steven said as you turned around and made a beeline for the stairs.

“y/n wait!” he yelled as he ran after you.

you made it to the bottom of the stairs causing a few people to look at you running away from the brunette boy.

“y/n/n? what happened?” jeremiah was the first to notice you. you wiped the fallen tears from your cheeks as belly and cam also noticed you.

by then steven caught up to you. you went to run out of the house but was quickly stopped by him gradding your wrist.

“y/n just stop let me explain-

“explain what steven?” you yelled.

if no one noticed before they definitely noticed now.

the chattering around the house quickly stopped as you yelled at steven.

“y/n please. i’m sorry it just happened.” steven tried to plead with you. regret written all over his face.

you looked at him in disbelief.

“go to hell.” your yelled you voice broke as the tears kept spilling from your eyes.

you yanked your wrist from his grasp and looked at belly. mascara stained your cheeks. “i found taylor” you whispered before walking out the door. leaving steven there, carrying your broken heart along with his..

* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

AHHHH TYSM FOR READING THIS!! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED ( pls be nice this is my first actual fic i’ve written! )

[c0llisiion]

NEED TO KNOW.02 — J.JK

Pairing: jeon jungkook + f!reader

Genre: smut

★: npr, slight angst, dadsbsf!jk x reader, older!jk, slight degradation, mentions of cheating, praise, dumbification, unprotected sex (practice safe sex plzzz), cunnilingus, slight bondage? Idk lol , rough sex, crying, breeding — lmk if i missed any!

W/C: 3,175

A/N: HIIIII ITS FINALLY HERE YALL WTFFFFFFF 😭😭😭😭 i defo spent too much time on this ( soz i have been very busy ) THIS ONES FOR ALL THE POOKS THAT HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR PART 2 <33 NJOYYY

.01 <3

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ This is strictly fiction. Any scenario or situation should not be taken seriously. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable. ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

The tension was there. A very thick tension. You stared daggers at the man sitting in front of you. He was being nonchalant. Giggling and laughing with your dad and acting like nothing had happened between you two. 

Things were going well between you guys since ‘that’ day. You told him about your undying feelings for him, and he understood it. He had you wrapped around his arms as you rested your head on his shoulders and sat together in the warm bath water with Your back pressed against his chest. Even though the moment lasted for a short while, you still savored it. His warm breath was on your face, whispering sweet nothings that had made your cheeks flush. His soft heartbeat matched yours. He was so gentle with the aftercare. Had you propped up on the bathroom counter while he ran a warm washcloth down your sticky body, making sure to be gentle. He even washed you down with your favorite body wash. Hands gently ran water down your sweaty hair, making sure you were clean and ready before he left, and since then you have been dating him. Or so you would think. 

It was a huge decision. This could affect both of your lives negatively if things go wrong. Of course, you didn’t tell your father about it. Imagine the betrayal he would feel if he found out his daughter was sleeping around with his best friend under his roof. In no way, shape, or form could he know. For the time being, He would eventually come to know, right? 

Jungkook was always the ‘nonchalant’ type. He was very laid-back about you. There was not really a label to your relationship. He would treat you like his girlfriend, yes, but he would never outright tell you that you were his girlfriend. He would always go to clubs and other posh places where women younger than you would hit on him continuously. Who wouldn't, though? A rich, young-looking old man is the perfect eye candy for gold diggers. You of course voiced out your frustrations to him, but he again and again brushed it off, saying, ‘It’s nothing to worry about’ , ‘I only have my eyes on you, doll.’ Or the worst one so far: ‘We are not even that serious.’ It hurt a lot, but you brushed it off because you loved this man and, most definitely, the sex he gave you. 

He was passionate in bed. Unlike anyone you have ever slept with. He would be gentle and slow with you most of the time. His girthy length slowly went in and out of you as your eyes tried to stay fixated on the movie. Hands on your hips, squeezing the soft flesh as he whispered in your ears in a sultry voice. “Taking me in so well doll… your pussy is sucking me in so good, has me controlling myself..” he darkly chuckles before adding. “Dripping all over my couch cushions… who is going to clean this up huh? making a sweet little mess.. dw i will help you with it baby…gonna have you staining this entire couch …” you shuddered as he trailed wet kisses up your neck and nibbled on your ears. His other hand squeezed and tugged on your tender breasts. Toying with your puffy nipples in between his fingers. You let out a soft huff as his cock hit your sweet spot. “What’s wrong, doll? Too much..? I thought my little slut liked it when i went deep..” he chuckled before thrusting into you with some force, making your stomach tumble and turn. 

  It was getting infuriating at this point. Your fork dug into the piece of filet mignon with great force, your hands shaking at the tension as your mind raced off to all those memories you made with him. And it all went down the drain because of a stupid mistake he made. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? You haven’t talked much this evening..” All the laughter and banter had died down, and the attention was on you. You were brought back to earth when your dad spoke up. But someone HAD to chime in. “Yeah y/n… What’s wrong with you? You didn’t even greet me at the front door… Don't you know how rude that is?” Jungkook yammered. His eyes had a glint of mischievousness. He had his stupid smirk on, and he talked to you in a tone he definitely knew you didn’t appreciate. You glared at him with pure anger burning in your eyes. Out of rage, you pushed your chair and got up before stomping your way upstairs to your room. Jungkook watched as you walked upstairs. That stupid smirk widening.

You were walking as fast as you could down the huge hallway. You just needed to lock yourself in your room, cry, and sleep. Your thoughts were interrupted when a rough hand grabbed you by the nape of your neck. His calloused fingers press the sides of your neck in a tight grip. Before you could protest and push him away, he- “Don't even think about moving or opening that fucking mouth.. Don't make me do something I will regret..” He whispered in your ears with gritted teeth. His hot breath and words fanned the lobes of your ears, sending a pulse to your core. 

Jungkook pushed you into your room, making you stumble and fall to the ground. He quickly locked your bedroom door before turning around to face you. He grabbed you by your throat, making you stand up on your feet before speaking up. “What is wrong with you, huh? Can't you just act normal? Why do you have to put up a fit?” “You tell me!” You spat. Jungkook huffed angrily and rolled his eyes at your response. He let go of your neck before pushing you down on your bed. “Are you acting like this because of that incident? Why are you still hung up on it? Move on. Nothing happened between us.” Your eyes widened at his words. How dare he say that after what he did? “Move on?? MOVE ON?!” You bursted. “HEY! Quite down. Don’t raise your voice at me.” Jungkook quickly put you in place, making you roll your own eyes. “I can't believe you right now.. You outright went out and cheated on me and you are asking me to move on? What are you on jungkook??? You are supposed to be my boyfriend. You told me you wanted to date me. Marry me and for me to HAVE YOUR KIDS,” Jungkook sighed, lowered his head, and softly muttered, “i know what i told… in that moment…” Your face drained of all color. You stared at him in disappointment, as you knew what was going to be his next words. “What do you want from me!!!” You got up and screamed in Jungkook's face before walking towards your door. “Wait-“ Jungkook yanked you by your wrist, pulling you away from the door.

“Let go of me, you moron!” You tried freeing yourself from his grip, but he was quick to throw you back on your bed. He got closer and climbed on top of the bed, his legs on either side of yours. Jungkook had a sour expression as he started unbuckling his belt. “Don't fucking touc-“ a harsh slap landed on your right cheek before he grabbed you by your jaw and smashed his lips onto yours. It was a struggle for dominance. You were reluctant to let him in, but he pushed through and started kissing you sloppy and hard. Your protests were muffled by his hungry mouth. Muscular tongue swirled around you, tasting you. You eventually gave in. Eyes fluttering, and your hands reached to hold his face but was pinned down almost immediately by Jungkook's strong ones. He pulled back, and a string of saliva connected your lips. He gazes down at your fucked-out face with a dark glint. “So pathetic..” he said before cupping his hand over your clothed cunt. You gasp as you feel his palm push into your sopping hole. Dampening the thin fabric. He landed a harsh slap on your clit, making you buck your hips for more. “So eager and needy aren’t you?” He teased you before shoving his fingers down your throat, making you suck and swirl your tongue around his digits. "Yeah, thats right… just like that…” he hissed. He nudged his knee into your pussy, pressing harder against the heat. Your eyes rolled back, and your thighs quivered as he continued.

He pulled his digits out of your mouth, a thick layer of saliva coating the slender fingers, before he shoved all three into your little cunny. Your eyes shot out wide, and your mouth fell open as he curled his fingers into you. “Dont make any noise… don’t want Daddy to hear you cry like a bitch because of me, right?” You covered your mouth with your free hand and nodded. Jungkook smirked and increased his pace. His fingers went in and out of your pussy at an inhumane rate, occasionally pressing down hard on your poor clit making you whine and whimper. He loved watching you writhe and suffer under his mercy. Something about you becoming putty under him, and he is only using his fingers. Your pussy gave out quickly as clear liquid gushed out and coated his digits. “Coming so quickly, doll? I thought you hated me?” He darkly chuckled before pulling out and slapping your cunt once again. You winced and moaned.

Jungkook started removing his clothes, using his loose tie to keep your mouth shut. He ripped your panties off and pushed your dress to your ribs. He stood at the foot of the bed and pulled you towards him before attacking your sensitive pussy. You grabbed his hair and mewled loudly as his tongue started working on your pussy. You were still sensitive from the aftermath of your previous orgasm. Your eyes spilled tears and you tried pushing his head away. Jungkook landed a harsh slap on your ass making you stop your movements. His tongue lapped at your pussy. Plunging into your sensitive hole and sucking your nub. He pressed his face closer into your pussy as your thighs clenched around his head. He held you down with his strong hands, and you were completely at his mercy. Your moans were slightly muffled by the makeshift gag. You grabbed his hair tighter, making him groan against your pussy, The vibrations sent jolts of pleasure to your core. His tongue swirled at your core. His nose was buried in your clit and his chin glistened with your juices, running down his neck. Your legs quivered and shook as he ate you out like a starved man. He pushed your thighs up, pinning them to your chest. A guttural moan escaped your lips as he pushed his fingers inside your soaking wet pussy, his lips sucking and biting down on your poor clit. “Mmm.. you taste so fuckin’ good, doll…” His fingers went in and out, curling and twisting, making you arch your back against his touch. You were seeing stars, and  was suddenly pulled back to earth as he moved away. He looked down at your disheveled state, a devilish smirk was plastered on his face as he watched your eyes fill up with tears. “Pathetic little toy…”

He climbed onto the bed, his knees on either side of you. His lips and neck glistened with your arousal making you shiver, his hair all over the place from your tugging and pulling. Your eyes landed on his hips as you watched him fumble with his pants, swiftly pulling out his aching cock. His cock stood hard and tall; you could see the precum leaking from the tip, and you couldn’t help but moan at the sigh- Your eyes almost popped out of your skull as Jungkook plunged into your pussy with no warning. His thick girth stretched you out perfectly. He groaned as he watched your pussy accustom to his size, even though he had fucked you multiple times. “So tight… mmf- so fucking tight…”. He started moving; slow thrusts quickly turned into fast, harsh ones. You grabbed onto his biceps for stability, digging your nails into his arms as he mercilessly fucked into your cunny. Your eyes were fixated on his face as you watched his face contort in pleasure and greed. He loved watching the little bulge that formed in your abdomen whenever he took you to pound town. “God.. you see that doll? Do you feel me in your little tummy? You’re so tiny… takin’ me in so fuckin’ well…” You glanced down at your abdomen and moaned, your shaky hand reaching down to feel the mound. Jungkook's hand found yours, and he pressed down on it, sending jolts of pleasure after pleasure down to your core. His thrusts never seemed to stop as he continued drilling your pussy. Your thighs and his pelvis coated in a milky layer of your arousal. You writhed and squirmed under his build, his cock hitting all your right spots.

Jungkook grabbed your arms and pinned them to your sides, making sure you didn't move. “Watch it doll… you better stay still and act like a good fucking girl for me.. or else im gonna stop all of this and leave you right here… all needy and bothered, got it?” You cried at his command and nodded, not wanting to disobey him. “Will you behave from now onwards?” He asks, landing a slap on your face before grabbing your chin. You nodded, looking up into his eyes with your tear-filled ones. Jungkook smirked at your submission. He couldn’t help but find it extremely arousing. “Yeah? Gonna act like a good -thrust- girl f’me? You’re a good girl for -thrust- daddy right?” He said, in between harsh thrusts, your body was jerking upwards at each one of them. Your body arched off the bed, and you nodded incoherently. Babbles and random words left your lips as Jungkook pounded into you. He leaned forward and trapped you under his body. His lips found your neck, leaving dark hickeys and bites all over. “You’re mine. Baby. All mine. And nothings going to change that.” You cried out and wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, pulling him closer to your body.

Jungkook chuckled before going rougher on you. Your thighs shook inhumanely, and your nails dug into his back, leaving scratches and bruises. “Pussy was made for me… you feel so good.. so so good…” His mouth continued its relentless assault on your neck, marking you with as many hickeys as he could. Jungkook growled as he felt your pussy clench around his length, signaling that you were close. He lets out a low, rough moan against your neck as he keeps moving against you, his body responding to you and your body in all the right ways. He detaches from your neck for a moment and takes a handful of your hair in his hand, tipping your head back so that you’re looking up at him. “You close baby?” You nod incoherently, your only focus being coming around his dick. He slowly lifts himself up and throws one of your legs over his shoulder, gripping your waist as he helps you reach your climax. His fingers found your throbbing clit, before tugging and pinching the poor nub. You gripped the sheets and threw your head back as the pleasure got more intense. The makeshift gag coated in a thick layer of your saliva. You were a babbling mess. Your brain was mush, and the only thing that is getting registered in your mind is Jungkooks dick going in and out of your cunt. Jungkook found all of this hot and sexy. He loved watching you become putty under him. He loved how you were basically under his mercy. “Look at you… such a mess… and how were you acting minutes ago…? Shouting and -thrust- yelling…” he chuckled darkly. “You probably don’t even know what im saying right now… Cus you’re so cockdrunk and dumb to think of anything else but my dick…”

You screamed out a bit too loudly and buck your hips before squirting all over the sheets and jungkook. A stream of clear liquid gushed out of your pussy. His thrusts and words sending you to another dimension. He grins as he feels you release again, the sound of your cry and the feel of your body shuddering and trembling beneath him sending waves of pleasure through him. He keeps his fingers moving against you for a few moments, trying to prolong your pleasure for as long as possible before withdrawing them slowly. He continued fucking into you, trying to reach his own orgasm. He kisses you deeply and hungrily, his tongue exploring your mouth as his body continues to press down against you.

You were too out of it. Your eyes fluttered as you came down from your high. You weakly looked at him. His forehead was coated in a thin layer of sweat that ran down his body. You pulled him closer to your body and let him fuck into you. “Gosh baby… you’re so good f’me…” you whined and nodded, another knot starting to build up in your stomach. “Im gonna fill you up so well doll… gonna have you leaking my cum… would you like that? You want me to fill you up?” He asked, looking at you, and just smirked because he knew you were too out of it to reply.

He moves his hands down to your hips, grabbing them and flipping you over onto your stomach. His body quickly moves over yours once more, pinning you down on to the bed. He presses his body against yours from behind, his cock grinding into you in a slow, harsh rhythm, his chest pressed against your back, his lips close to your ear as he speaks. “You’re mine, do you understand that? I’m never gonna let you go…” with a few more thrusts, jungkook presses down and fills you up with his hot cum. His heavy balls emptying every last drop into your fucked out pussy. He groaned and moaned in your ears, holding you close to his body as he came down from his high. His breath was ragged and uneven.

He pulls out of you and watches it slowly drip out of your puffy lips. He collapses right next to you and pulls you into his chest. Stroking your sweaty hair and back. “I love you… I love you so much… and im sorry… i really am okay?” You hum softly, finally being able to register his words. “We will talk about this later, okay? I don’t want to lose you…” he pulls you in closer to his body and sigh, loving the warmth of your body against his own, but is quickly interrupted when- 

“Jungkook??? Y/n??? What's going on in there???”

Shit. 

A/N: THANKS FOR READINGGGG I HOPE YALL LIKED IT 💔💔💔💔 think i might js turn into a jungkook blog 🤣😹🙏

Masterlisssttt :3

[tryingtofindava]

hi !! could u write tyler x fem reader where they are dating, and instead of tyler being impaled by a tree it’s his girlfriend ! thank u

── 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄!

{[TYLER HERNANDEZ X FEM! READER]}

: ̗̀➛Back to Source

Your breath was staggered, twitching every few seconds or so. Trying your best to keep your eyes open, which proved to be a tricky task.

‘I wonder if I’ll die in the real world.’ Your thoughts spoke loudly, too loudly for your own liking. Why was it so quiet anyways?

Have the other’s drove off?

Will you ever see your friends again?

Will you ever see Tyler again?

I hope they’re safe from that… thing…

…

Is this how you die?

Thoughts like these consumed your mind. Y/n let out a defeated grunt, as she tried to push herself from the tree one more time. Her efforts were all futile though…

She is quite literally a human kabab. On this dead tree. In the middle of fuck all. The girl sighed shakily, her tear filled eyes trailing down to her stomach

. Looking at the tree that had pierced right through her very being, blood gushing out of you at an alarming rate, making it look like a Saw movie in real life.

This sucks major a-

SNAP!

Your head wipe to the side, your puffy eyes widening at the grinning face staring back at you. Shit. You have to get off this tree. Now.

Your brain is in overdrive as you try to push yourself up to escape from the phantom that was approaching rapidly. You close your eyes real tight, waiting for the phantom to scale the tree with ease and end your suffering.

TWACK!

Opening your eyes and peering down, blood dribbling from home parted lips. “Y/n!” You heard the red heads voice call up to you, though it was all muddled from the blood loss.

“Ashlyn, have you found her-“ Tyler looked up, his mouth falling open in utter shock. His hand shakes as he shone his flashlight up on your hanging body.

“Help me get her down!” Ash called out to the boy, who hurriedly went to help the leader to save his girlfriend. While Ben, Aiden, Taylor, and Logan watch from the sidelines.

Making quick work to get the needed medical equipment Ashlyn’s dad had placed in the real world for them to use to help.

You let out a pained whine as you feel Tyler lift you from the bark of the tree. His brows were furrowed as he focused on doing this as quick as possible to not prolong your pain.

“You’re safe now, I got you…” He murmurs quietly to you shaking form.

Everyone in the group made team effort to help you, all while Tyler gripped onto you so hard like if he let go it’d be game over. Mumbling reassurances, though you couldn’t tell id it was to you or himself.

Aiden was talking your ear off to keep you awake. “Y’know? This isn’t even that bad! One time, my bone went right through my knee while playing soccer!” He blabs, though it didn’t help you feel better or assured at all.

“Dude, not the time!” Your boyfriend scolds him, while he rocks you in his shaking arms. While Ben and Logan stitched the gaping hole going through your back to your stomach.

“You’re gonna be okay, I promise… I won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again.” He squeezes your arm.

A/N: SOZ THIS WAS SHORT!! ^_^ I’ll probably add more and make it better in the future lolz :3

[seongclb]

— enhypen reaction to you hugging a plush to sleep !

bf!enha x reader, established relationship au, fluff & no warnings :)

another reaction because they’re easy to write and i don’t wanna be completely ia also soz these get shorter and more repetitive

♫ un-thinkable by alicia keys

( scenario desc ) —

when you’re invited to a sleepover with your boyfriend and his friend group, excitement washes over you since you’re aware of the numerous fun activities they get up to. as expected, the night is full of laughter and games until your boyfriend offers to cuddle with you to sleep but notices you prefer the embrace of a stuffed animal which he is not going to let happen.

𖠗 이희승 | lee heeseung.

“y/n, you ready for bed?”

he’ll be so excited: you’re in his clothes and in his bed like this is gonna be the best nights sleep of his life

until, you open your bag and pull out an animal

at first, he doesn’t question it since he thinks you need it for comfort

but he didn’t think you needed to hold it .. like he’s there for a reason

he’s probably spooning you and realises there’s some teddy in your arms

“y/n, why is there a teddy in your arms?”

“oh, this? this is mr cuddles. he’s my sleep buddy - i’ve had him since i was eight!”

literally scoffs, “well, it’s time to get rid of him.”

tells you he’s here now and there’s no reason to be holding some stuffed toy and tries his best not the chuck the toy off the bed.

is so happy when you put it to the side and try hugging him instead

when he wakes up and sees you sleeping so well that there’s drool on the corner of your lips, he feels so accomplished

𖠗 박종성 | park jongseong.

bc this would be your first time sleeping in the same bed as you, his goal is to ensure you’re comfortable first

makes sure you pick everything to your preference

including the blanket, the pillow and which of his pyjamas you like the most

almost buries you in the blanket since he’s worried you’ll get cold and sick

it’s summer ???

later in the night, he notices you’re holding one of your plush toys

can’t sleep because he’s so bothered about you hugging this teddy

doesn’t want to wake you up so he waits until morning

“y/n, why do you sleep with a plush?”

you tell him how you’re just used to it and now you can’t sleep without it

“hmmm this won’t do at all”

now has a rule that whenever you sleep next to him, you have to hold him

also replaces your plush with one that he bought and sprays it with his perfume that you ofc have chosen from his collection

if he’s not there to hold you to sleep, then at least you can smell and think of him

𖠗 심재윤 | sim jaeyun.

wouldn’t have it at all

cuddles are like his fave thing ever

esp with you

so how DARE you decide to cuddle something else

is in the middle of laughing about it but also showing he’s so hurt

“y/n, i’m way better than that stupid plush”

“JAKE, DONT CALL HIM STUPID”

rolls his eyes and sulks

doesn’t understand why u won’t at least try

eventually he gets his way bc who can stand to see jake not smiling 24/7

has you literally locked in his arms so you can’t move

hides the plush from you

also would get you a plush and say that you can hug yours and his child to sleep

jake’s way or no way

will hug layla to sleep instead if you decide to bring your teddies again

𖠗 박성훈 | park sunghoon.

is secretly fuming

but can’t contain it in

when he sees it, he’ll immediately think the worst

“what’s that?”

you explain you need it to help you sleep

thinks about it for a while and doesn’t say anything

“hoon, you okay??” he has a pout on his lips and his brows are furrowed

“yep.”

asks about your plush, while insulting it, “where’d you get that stupid toy anyway” “how long have you had that pathetic teddy”

soon you get a bit sad and insecure about needing a teddy to help you sleep which he notices

“y/nnnn, im sorry im just annoyed that you wanna sleep with this teddy instead of me”

so you decide to cuddle to sleep

definitely kicks it off the bed with a proud smile on his face

𖠗 김선우 | kim sunoo.

offended

is literally in a mood after you say it’s your sleeping buddy

like that’s his role as your boyfriend now..

acts like you betrayed him

“don’t talk to me. you’re a snake” “SUNOO”

faces the other way to sleep

refuses to talk to you

until he feels your arms wrap around him

and then he turns around with a big smile on his face

“i knew you couldn’t resist”

makes it his mission to make sure you rely on only him to be able to sleep

says it’s basically cheating if you’re relying on another sleeping buddy

“like why am i not ur one and only sleeping buddy”

u have to make it up to him with hugs + a spa night

𖠗 양정원 | yang jungwon

wont tell you that it bothers him

but jungwon eyes

they just make it too obvious like why are they glinting and everything they’re literally just ;( like this

who wouldn’t be able to tell when he’s not showing his dimples on full display

anyway ur js like “what’s wrong”

and hes like “hmph nothing”

BUT HES SULKINGGG and although he looks so cute u js can’t have ur baby acting like this

so u wrap ur arms around him but he light pushes you off

and ur like .. woah this is new

but u realise it’s bc of this teddy

after speaking to him, jungwon declares that this teddy is his competition

now he makes this inanimate object compete with him for everything

video games, races, who can cook you better breakfast etc

there will never be an end

𖠗 西村力 | nishimura riki

he’s simply gonna hide the plush or teddy from you

and he’ll utilise his height bc hello who the hell is gonna find anything

the guy can probably hide things in the clouds and you wouldn’t know

anyway if you ever do find it

he’ll punch it

or throw it across the room

and stomp off in a puff

bc ur his baby and ur prioritising this silly teddy

this teddy is banned from sleepovers with riki

he says it takes out the fun from ur silly sleepovers

eventually you don’t need it anymore so you don’t bring it

that’s the happiest he’s ever been

[dannyricsmirrorball]

tying the knot • cl16 ੈ✩‧₊˚

ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairing || charles leclerc x gasly!reader

ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au

ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || everyone is together on break for some reason, perhaps a wedding. question is… whose is it?

alt. y/n is pierre’s younger sister. there’s no way she’s dating his best friend aka her childhood friend… right?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ warning || google translate 😬

ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || i tried my hardest to fit this into one part but i literally couldn’t. so this part is kinda boring and lacks much plot but i tried to make it fun! also have realised alex and lily are always the reader’s best friends… but i just love them so much it just happens!! also OSCAR SPRINT WIN!!!! okay pls enjoy xx

part 2!

circa 2022

liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, and 226,384 others

yourusername 🌺🌺

francisca.cgomes gostosaaaaa 😍

⤷ yourusername love u kika baby

username7 omfg i need to raid her closet

username19 y/n is ALWAYS pulling out the looksss

lilymhe LOML OML MARRY ME

⤷ alex_albon oh.

⤷ charles_leclerc 🤨

username88 them gasly genes are STRONG

⤷ username6 let’s be real… y/n eats up pierre

username2 face card never declines

luisinhaoliveira99 love 😍😍

charles_leclerc 😍

⤷ username67 charles don’t flirt (poorly) with ur best friends sister challenge - level IMPOSSIBLE

landonorris jesus look at that countertop 😬

⤷ luisinhaoliveira99 cala a boca

⤷ yourusername yeah eat it lan 😒

isahernaez guapísima 🩷

⤷ yourusername i love uuuuu

ig stories - francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, luisinhaoliveira99, carmenmmundt, isahernaez, carla.brocker

-swipe up to reply -

liked by pierregasly, yourusername, and 263,029 others

francisca.cgomes fun w my sistaaa

tagged yourusername

username8 my faves reunited!!!

username14 so that’s where kika was going in her story!

⤷ username72 where are they

⤷ username14 pretty sure italy

⤷ username72 maybe the other wags and drivers are going as well… like they all posted travel stories within the same hours

charles_leclerc where’s pierre?

⤷ francisca.cgomes i should be asking u that

⤷ charles_leclerc uh yeah ok um so

⤷ francisca.cgomes you’ve lost him haven’t u

⤷ charles_leclerc phone died. thought he’d crash w u guys 🤷‍♀️😔

⤷ pierregasly soz mate, let me drop a pin

⤷ yourusername i told u not to get to crazy

⤷ charles_leclerc what happened to trust?!

⤷ username3 i- are charles and pierre there too?!?

username57 dead at them using the comments like their messages

yourusername my sista 🩷

pierregasly 🤍

username8 y/n and kika’s friendship is so cute, they’re so close 🥰

⤷ username71 kika defs likes y/n more than pierre LMFAO

⤷ username16 don’t blame her

liked by arthurleclerc, lorenzotl, and 89,930 others

carla.brocker my favourites

tagged yourusername, charlotte2304

username88 the leclerc wags 🙌 (yes i’m including y/n 😏)

arthurleclerc 😍😍

username99 omg charlotte and carla are there as well?!?

⤷ username3 i’m convinced everyone who posted on their story is joining

charlotte2304 pretty girl x

leclerc_pascale mes belles filles ❤️

⤷ carla.brocker merci maman 🥰

⤷ username82 pascale talking abt her daughter-in-laws 🫣

username95 need to raid all of their closets

username7 y/n and her sister-in-laws 🥰

⤷ username85 u guys need to let go. charles and y/n are not dating.

liked by alex_albon, charles_leclerc, and 162,739 others

lilymhe my favourite people

tagged yourusername, alex_albon

username3 yepppp they’re showing up 1,2,3….

username26 goated couple. goated best friends.

charles_leclerc 2nd slide jump scare

⤷ lilymhe 😐

⤷ charles_leclerc i was talking abt alex!!

⤷ alex_albon thanks man. love ya too.

⤷ yourusername don’t lie. no u weren’t.

⤷ charles_leclerc ur right i wasn’t 🫣

⤷ lilymhe 😲

⤷ username23 i had no idea lily and charles were tight like that

⤷ username14 becoming best friends w his girlfriend’s best friend

username46 faveeee wag

username89 best couple on the grid

yourusername ur my favourite people 😘

⤷ alex_albon person*

⤷ charles_leclerc i thought i was ur favourite people 😔

⤷ alex_albon person*

⤷ lilymhe sucks to suck leclerc, i’m her favourite people 😝

⤷ alex_albon person*

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, carlossainz55, and 90,737 others

isahernaez vibras de verano

translation: summer vibes

username23 do we think she’s w y/n, lily, and kika?

⤷ username14 i rlly hope so, i’ve missed isa w the other wags

⤷ username55 y/n isn’t a wag

⤷ username14 not yet… trust the slow burn

username17 you’re GLOWING isa

luisinhaoliveira99 beautiful isa ❣️

yourusername isaaaa my love 💖

⤷ username5 obsessed w them 😭

francisca.cgomes 🔥🔥

username55 isa estás en Italia? 💖

⤷ isahernaez sí 🩷

liked by danielricciardo, chloestroll, and 72,983 others

heidiberger_ 💐💐

tagged danielricciardo, yourusername, carmenmmundt

username4 HEIDI UR KILLING US

danielricciardo 😮‍💨😮‍💨

username8 dk if i’m more jealous of heidi or daniel

username16 ummm are we all seeing that correct… bride tribe???

⤷ username7 ahhh this makes sm more sense. they’re all there for a wedding! question is… who’s?

yourusername i’m FLOORED on the FLOOR

username99 we are getting FED this break

username02 need to know who’s wedding this is that it constitutes practically the ENTIRE grid to come

username77 so this is defs a wedding trippppp

liked by lilymhe, yourusername, and 398,029 others

alex_albon ti amo italia

tagged lilymhe

yourusername hands off my wife albono

username80 best couple on the grid

charles_leclerc tu parli italiano?

⤷ alex_albon pizza pasta 🤌

username9 alex in his multilingual era 😝

username72 alex said mine not yours lmfao

ueername9 alex tell us why ur there?!

liked by charles_leclerc, estabanocon, and 498,938 others

pierregasly jolies filles

tagged francisca.cgomes, yourusername

username97 this is so cute

francisca.cgomes 🩷😘

charles_leclerc where’s mine? 😘

⤷ pierregasly you have plenty coming 🙄

⤷ username53 sir what do u mean?!

username76 these three 🥰

liked by yourusername, mlnmarta, and 35,873 others

joris__trouche nuit de liberté 🇮🇹

translation: night of freedom 🇮🇹

tagged charles_leclerc

username31 JORIS IS THERE?!

⤷ username8 charles cant go anywhere without his main man

username70 freedom…? u don’t think 😳

⤷ username82 charles is not getting married get real

username34 who is mutuals w all these people to come to their wedding like this is crazy

username65 looks kinda like a bachelor party…

⤷ username9 who tf would he be marrying

⤷ username16 not tryna speculate but we do know a certain someone was there before everyone else…

⤷ username9 he’s pierre’s best friend. you think pierre would let that slide.

⤷ username16 they’re adults 🤷‍♀️

yourusername freedom? 🤨

⤷ username87 this is all the confirmation i needed. y/n charles wedding is happening. mark my words.

⤷ username34 let’s get u to bed grandma

liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe, and 198,029 others

yourusername girls trip!

username99 y/n living her best life

heidiberger_ u are everything 🤩

⤷ yourusername i’m in love w u

luisinhaoliveira99 stunning y/n 😍 best time!

⤷ yourusername so much fun xx

danielricciardo girls trip 🤨

⤷ heidiberger_ well it was for these nights 🤷‍♀️

⤷ danielricciardo fairs

⤷ username52 i- …. hen night??

lilymhe LOML MY GIRL FOREVERRRR BAEEEE

⤷ yourusername alwayssss loverrr

⤷ alex_albon 🤦‍♀️

⤷ charles_leclerc we told u not to get to crazy 🙄🤣

charles_leclerc getting wild?

⤷ yourusername not as wild as u have been 😬

⤷ username54 so they’re defs talking abt whoever’s hen night and stag they went to im guessing

pierregasly make sure u come back in one peace - and kika as well!

⤷ yourusername no promises pear

francisca.cgomes bodyyyyyy

carla.brocker so much fun my girl 💖

lorenzotl make sure to have fun and be safe y/n/n!

⤷ yourusername always am enzo 🩷

⤷ username74 stop it i’m going to sobbbb he’s such an older brother to them all 😭

leclerc_pascale ❤️

⤷ username16 just mother-in-law things

⤷ username92 get a grip. she watched her grow up, her sons are best friends with her. ofc they have a relationship.

carmenmmundt don’t want to leave 😫

⤷ yourusername literally in paradiseee

⤷ georgerussell63 joking right?! ur coming back right?! pls come back!! i cant handle them for much longer 😳

⤷ charles_leclerc i second that. come back!

⤷ yourusername i think u were counted in the ‘them’ charles

username81 i’m going CRAZY. I NEED TO KNOW WHO IS GETTING MARRIED AND HOW THEY KNOW THE ENTIRE GRID

⤷ username16 if i speak…

part 2!

[karajaynetoday]

hey now, you're an all-star | jack hughes

it took one month of watching hockey for me to write fic. lmao. classic. good vibes.

thank you @littledrummeraussie for proofreading, love you angie 💖

READ PART TWO HERE

READ PART THREE HERE

word count: 2.8k

Warnings:  i don't think it needs any? just forgive my limited knowledge of hockey and canada i suppose? mentions of anxiety related to university? it's a bit angsty bc let's be real, do i ever know how to write anything else?

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here (soz that the masterlist is not up to date lol) | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here

You’d known Jack Hughes for as long as you could remember. He stood up for you in the playground at kindergarten, when a bigger kid pushed you off the swings; you returned the favour by saving him from a spider on his backpack. Ever since, you’d always had each other’s backs. 

And for as long as you’d known Jack, you’d been able to tell when he was upset about something. His lips did this thing, not quite a pout, but nowhere near the easy smile you were used to seeing. He’d pull his sleeves down over his hands, and his breathing would be… deeper, somehow. He could never meet your gaze, either. 

You were scrolling through Instagram on your couch at home, where you were supposed to be studying, when you saw a video of Jack from the Devils fundraiser event, answering media questions about his injury and when he’d be back on the ice. He laughed and smiled for the cameras, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. They asked about the all-star game, and you could feel his hesitation in answering. Jack tried to be positive and assure everyone that he had a chance of playing, but you both knew that wasn’t very likely. 

You sent the video to Jack with a comment bagging out his hairstyle, hoping to lift his mood a little, before dropping your phone onto the couch and drawing your attention back to the economics case study you were supposed to be analysing. 

You’d stayed in Toronto for university, while Jack headed off to New Jersey after his draft year. Long distance friendship took a lot of getting used to, but at least you were still in the same timezone, and the NHL schedule meant that Jack was contractually obliged to visit you a few times each year. Quinn too, despite how much he complained about the intensity of hockey mania in Toronto. In fact, the entire Hughes family sometimes made the trek, which you knew your parents not-so-secretly loved. It reminded you of the warmth you felt growing up in each other’s homes, filled with laughter and joy.

The little focus you had for your economics homework was broken when your phone began to vibrate beside you, Jack’s name flashing on the screen. You rolled your eyes with a smile, before leaning over to answer the video call. 

“Good morning, sunshine!” You greeted your best friend, who was already scowling at you. 

“Is it a good morning, though? When all I do is get criticism from my supposed best friend?” 

“It’s not criticism, more… encouragement, I’d say.” You teased back, Jack rolling his eyes at you.

“Encouraging what, exactly?”

“Encouraging you to make better personal style choices, especially related to hair. You are a millionaire, after all. Least you can do is get a decent haircut.” 

“Oh, my apologies. Didn’t realise I was getting encouragement from the queen of high fashion. Is that a coffee stain on that shirt?” Jack’s eyes glanced down at what little he could see of your outfit in the video call, before poking his tongue out at you.

“Hey, I’m a university student. This is high fashion, I’ll have you know. Anyway, why aren’t you at training?” You asked, cocking your head to the side in curiosity. 

Jack’s lips pressed together, and he looked away from his phone and you; you silently cursed yourself for asking the question. Even though Jack had been injured, he’d been pretty dedicated to his rehab and recovery, so it was a little odd for him to be calling you in the morning rather than be at a physio session. 

“More scans this afternoon so no session this morning. Trying to decide if I can play next weekend or if I just have to show up and look pretty.” Jack tried to joke, but you could tell that it wasn’t something he found humour in. 

“Good thing that looking pretty comes naturally to you, J.” 

“Oh, so now I’m pretty? I thought I had shit hair?!”

“You can both be a pretty face and have shit hair, buddy. They’re not mutually exclusive.”

“Mutually exclusive? Is that a fancy term you learnt at school?” 

You laughed at that, earning a Jack smile in return. You continued chatting back and forth for another 30 minutes or so, before Jack had to go to his scans. 

You managed to get through the rest of your economics homework, but your mind kept wandering back to Jack and his frustration at being injured. He’d been an All-Star before, so it wasn’t that specifically he was frustrated about missing, you were certain. The difference this year was Quinn’s selection in the All-Star weekend, and the building anticipation around so-called “Team Hughes” that would see Jack and Quinn on the same team for the first time in their NHL careers. That’s probably what Jack was upset about, because as much as they chirp each other and are fiercely competitive, there’s nothing Jack Hughes loves more than his brothers. You knew that he’d be in his head overthinking everything and convincing himself that he was letting Quinn down, somehow, despite it being beyond his control. 

The only further communication you got from Jack that day was a thumbs-down text message, which told you all you needed to know. You were sporadically in touch a few times throughout the week, and before you knew it, it was the day everyone was flying in for All-Star weekend.

You’d managed to persuade your parents that a full-blown neighbourhood party was not necessary, and instead convinced them to accept Quinn’s invitation to a lowkey but nice dinner downtown near the hotel where he and Jack were staying. The dinner was something you were looking forward to all week, but you hadn’t anticipated two things: accidentally deleting half your economics essay the night before it was due and having to stay up until 3am to finish it; and the butterflies that you were feeling when you were getting ready for dinner. Why on earth were you so nervous? Seeing Jack and Quinn after a while was usually something that excited you, not stressed you out. 

You had just pulled on your dress and finished wrangling your hair when your phone pinged with a message from Jack. 

Have you looked at the menu for this place? We need to order a side of the loaded mac n cheese pls and thx 

I thought you were a high performance athlete? But of course, mac n cheese is a MUST

Correct, my body is a temple. A temple of mac n cheese. Mac is a carb, cheese is calcium for my bones. Winners all around. See ya soon x

Xo

It was freezing outside, so you took an Uber from your university apartment to the restaurant. You were running behind, thanks to traffic, and then you almost toppled over on the pavement outside due to the wet weather. Between that and your sleep deprivation, you honestly wanted nothing more than to go home, put your pyjamas on and cry; but you plastered a smile on your face and headed inside the restaurant. 

The hostess greeted you warmly, and offered to take your coat once you established that your parents had already arrived and were seated on a table towards the back of the restaurant, and you could see the backs of Jack and Quinn as you approached them. Everyone stood up to greet you with hugs and kisses, and the butterflies sparked again when Jack pulled out the chair next to his for you to sit down. Jack and Quinn both had nice sweaters on with collared shirts, and you were quietly glad you’d decided to wear a dress rather than the jeans you’d initially picked out. 

“How did your essay go, sweetheart? I know economics isn’t your favourite…” Your mother enquired, obviously unaware of your crisis the night before. 

You gave her a tight-lipped smile and took a sip of the diet coke in front of you (that Jack must’ve ordered for you, no doubt) before mumbling something about getting it sorted and hoping for the best. Your dad swiftly changed the subject to the weekend’s festivities, excitedly asking Quinn about his plans for the All-Star draft, but you could feel Jack’s eyes on you. You met his gaze and subtly shook your head, silently asking for him to save his questions for later. Jack frowned at you, but complied. 

The dinner felt like it went quickly, but also went for hours. Your stomach hurt from laughing (and probably too much mac and cheese), as Jack and Quinn regaled your parents with stories of their seasons and their plans for the next summer off in Michigan, where your two families would join each other for a month or so of adventures. You found yourself smiling as your dad and the Hughes brothers comically argued over who would pay the bill, before Jack excused himself to the bathroom and sneakily paid the bill on his way there. 

Jack and Quinn’s hotel was walking distance from the restaurant, and they excitedly invited you and your parents to come and see the fancy suite they’d been gifted for the weekend. Your mother made some excuse about traffic on the drive home and promised to come and see it some other time, but nudged you in your side as she told you to go and check it out. You were so tired and ready for bed, but reluctantly agreed; your window of opportunity to spend time with Jack was closing, so you figured you may as well make the most of it.

The butterflies in your stomach flitted around as Jack helped you into your coat before you headed outside the restaurant and bid your parents farewell. You fell into step in between the brothers as they traipsed back toward the hotel, conversation flowing easily as Quinn asked about your college classes and you asked him about the latest book he was reading. Jack was silent as you walked the few blocks before arriving at the hotel, and he gently placed his hand onto your back as you were guided through the hotel front door and into the elevator. 

Your jaw dropped when Quinn swiped his key card and you all entered the hotel suite. They weren’t joking about it being fancy, holy shit. 

The floor to ceiling windows had incredible views of the city skyline, with a very comfortable looking couch in the living area facing the view. Two doors at either side of the living room lead to bedrooms with luxurious linens, and the marble bathrooms were impeccably finished. 

Jack was grinning as he watched you take it all in, leaning up against the door frame to his bedroom as you stood near the window and gaped at the views. Quinn had flopped down on the couch and was texting on his phone. 

“Can they gift this to you year-round? I’d like to live here…” You mused, shaking your head at how insane this hockey lifestyle could be. 

“We could probably just buy it for you.” Jack said nonchalantly, as he wandered over to stand beside you at the window. 

“Yeah, if you want. They’d probably charge us more because I’m a Canuck, though.” Quinn deadpanned, earning a laugh from you and an eye-roll from Jack.

“Speaking of, the guys are all catching up in Petey’s room, so I think I’ll head down there. See you tomorrow after the draft, sugar plum.” Quinn pulled you into a hug, and your heart burst at him using your childhood nickname (which came from one ill-fated ballet performance and you insisted you hated, but secretly loved being called). 

You could’ve sworn you saw Quinn wink at Jack before he left the hotel room, but then again, the sleep deprivation could also be sending you loopy. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Jack asked, moving to stand behind you and loop his arms around your waist as you still faced the window. Your heart rate shot through the roof as he pulled you closer, and nestled his head in between your neck and shoulder. You cringed as you realised he could probably feel your pulse beating fast. 

“Sure, but no blaming me if I fall asleep on you, sorryyyyy.” You awkwardly maneuvered yourself out of Jack’s embrace and walked over to the couch, sitting down on it and removing your shoes. 

“The first time we’ve seen each other in MONTHS and you’re going to fall asleep? Am I that boring? Sheesh.” Jack drawled, watching you from where he stood.

“Yes.” You stuck your tongue out at him, but lost it to a yawn which made you both laugh. 

“You know I love you, J. I would happily pull an all-nighter with you, but I don’t think two in a row is probably good for me.”

“Two in a row? What, where you out partying hard last night?” Jack’s voice trailed off as he wandered off into the bedroom, leaving the door open behind him. You heard a drawer open and a light thud onto the floor, and your throat tightened when you realised Jack was changing his clothes. God, you’d gotten changed in front of each other a million times. Why was your brain making everything so weird tonight?

“Not quite. Had a disaster that involved accidentally deleting my entire essay, sobbing for an hour, then staying up until 3am to write the whole thing. Living the dream, as per usual.” You rattled off, trying to sound nonchalant about, even though just thinking about last night made you nauseous with anxiety. Your nonchalance was clearly unconvincing, as Jack came back out of the bedroom clad in a hoodie and sweats and bee-lined for you, his face covered in concern. 

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s fine, I promise. All part of the college experience.” You weren’t sure if you were trying to convince yourself or Jack more. He couldn’t either, but instead of pushing the issue, he threw a hoodie at your head and laughed when you looked offended. 

“I’m definitely falling asleep if I put this on, by the way. You know I love being cozy. Cozy is my natural state of being.” You pulled your hair up into a loose bun using the hair tie on your wrist, before pulling the black Devils hoodie over your head. 

Jack slotted himself beside you on the couch and reached his arm over your shoulders, finding the remote with his other hand and navigating the ridiculously large TV onto Netflix. 

“Fine by be, sugarplum. I’d rather know you’re getting sleep here than send you home to stress yourself out more.”  Jack mused, his fingers absentmindedly stroking your arm while he found the latest season of a TV show you both loved to watch and pressed play.

“I’m not stres - it was just one essay - I promise I’m fine.” You sputtered, tripping over your words when Jack locked eyes with you, his gaze empathetic but all-knowing. 

“Besides, I’m not the only one in the room worth worrying about.” You said softly, nudging Jack’s side gently. Jack rolled his lips between his teeth, and sighed; he put down the remote and pulled his hoodie sleeves over his hands. 

“But we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. You’re not letting anyone down, though. Quinn doesn’t think that.” You continued, softly, not wanting to cause tension. 

Jack sighed deeply again and pulled his arm away from you, leaning forward and rubbing his face with both hands. 

“You don’t know what Quinny’s thinking, sugar. And it’s not just Quinn, it’s the fucking journalists, and Bratter’s vacation being ruined, and goddamn Michael Bublé being disappointed in me, and - just - fucking all of it.” Jack exhaled deeply, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. 

You didn’t know what to say, because you could tell that Jack wasn’t in a mood that you could talk him down out of. But you could tell he needed comfort, needed reassurance, needed to know that you still had his back. Ever since kindergarten. 

You grabbed the back of Jack’s hoodie and gently tugged it, and he leaned back against the couch. You tapped Jack’s legs next, and he moved them up onto the other side of the L-shaped couch, so he was properly reclining. You paused, trying to figure out how to position yourself without being literally on top of Jack, but while your brain was running a million miles a minute, Jack’s hand found yours and yanked you towards him gently. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, before adjusting yourself between Jack’s body and the side of the couch. Jack’s arm found a home over your hips and settled gently on your stomach, pulling your back against his chest. You felt his breath on your neck as you both wriggled around, trying to get comfortable.

 

“Is this okay, sugar?” Jack’s voice was barely a whisper, directly into your ear. You didn’t trust your voice not to squeak a response so you simply nodded, trying desperately to calm your fast beating heart.

You rested your hand on top of Jack’s and gently squeezed, feeling yourself starting to lull to sleep. Despite the butterflies and your heart jumping out of your chest, you somehow had never felt more at peace, right in this moment.

This was safe, this was calm. This was home. 

[uranometrias]

wait for your love, spencer reid (pt. 2)

this is the second part to this. tysm for all the love on the first part, as well as all the new follows. this literally took so long, and i'm literally so sorry. i suck, but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. xx

you can read the alternate version for jj right here.

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader | spencer reid x bau! reader | s7 team x bau! reader (platonic)

summary: following the dismissal of the case against the bureau, you're trying to get back into the swing of things. that moment of realization that comes with discovering the love you feel for someone else isn't reciprocates is never fun. but it's a truth you're meant to accept nonetheless, with a bit of help from your dearest friend spencer, you find that through a conversation about the realities of music and their hidden messages getting the courage to move on is not quite as difficult as you might have initially thought. especially when there's someone like spencer reid waiting on the other side. except of course, things always get difficult when it seems now as you're moving on, the past object of your desires is believed to feel the same way you always have.

content warnings: this is the sequel to angst lol. it's still very kind of angsty, but not as bad! it doesn't exactly end with spence/reader running off into the distance together, but i think it has a very bittersweet & sort of hopeful ending, which i felt made the most sense for a storyline like this. sometimes people have feelings for people that don't like them back, and sometimes it's just something we have to deal with.. sad but true. && i didn't want spence to seem like a rebound for reader, so i tried to go the route of her slowly putting the pieces together that maybe spence had romantic feelings for her && going from there. still spencer somewhat confesses his feelings for reader, hints that hotch might actually like reader, jj/reader reconciliation, because it needed to happen soz! she might have feelings for y/n too idk... she's kinda pulling everybody. this feels kinda melodramatic, but also idk i want epic romance vibes so i tried my best xx

i also love how hotch was such a focal part of this story and never physically showed up once... hmm.

tagged the people that asked for part 2 xx

@stvrlitsky , @cocopuff213 , @aaronhotchnerlover , @ofagathachristies , @blurpleuni-squid , @wolf-phoenix-lover , @babyspiderling , @queermaxwooo , @jihyowrrld , @minkyungseokie , @silentjudger , @btskzfav , @barbeddreams , @ah-blossom , @darker-december

It had been about a week since the court proceedings, you'd been more than a little surprised to find that you all managed to walk away scot free. You still hadn't managed to work up the courage to place your resignation papers on Hotch's desk, probably because you still hadn't gotten up the strength to face him or anyone else for that matter. You weren't outwardly abrasive, you'd offer small nods of greeting when you showed up in the morning, waves as you left.

But everyone knew that it wasn't the same.

Penelope had been trying to get you out for a night of bonding with her, Emily, and JJ, and you'd been keen on turning her down. You don't think you were quite there yet, the wound however surface level was still fresh. Looking at Emily, only reminded you of your grief, how much you had missed her. Looking at JJ only reminded you of how she hadn't had the courage necessary to tell you the truth. You'd tried to take their positions into account, look at things through a different view, but it hardly worked. You just wanted to be left alone.

Spencer was still the only one privy to the thoughts you had about ending your career at the FBI, and everyday he seemed to be holding his breath. It had become a habit to catch him staring at you with his face pinched up like he was deep in thought. It was partially why, even as your eyes skimmed over a file, you knew that he was looking in your direction. "Spence." you mutter quietly, eyes not quite meeting his as you highlighted something of importance in blue.

He sits at attention, back straight, eyes wide. He looked like a puppy that'd been caught doing something bad and was waiting for punishment. "You're doing it again." you exhale, and then you finally manage to peel your eyes from your work, eyebrow raising as you take him in tiredly. "Do you need something?" and he bares down on his bottom lip, almost as if he was thinking over his next move. He stands tall, grabbing hold of his chair and tugging it until it was planted on the other side of yours, before he sat down politely.

"Are you okay?" he's talking quietly, likely to salvage a bit of your privacy. You'd become a bit of a walking attraction in the bullpen, everyone seemed to follow every one of your actions with their eyes. You tap your highlighter against your desk, head tipping to the side as you scrutinize the man. You didn't know exactly what was going on with Spencer, but you had a small inkling, it was nothing more than an internal feeling if you were completely honest about it.

Your sister had been asking about him quite constantly lately, and after learning that day in the courtroom that for some odd reason the duo spoke over the phone, it made you pay a bit more attention to the certified genius than before. "I'm fine, Spencer. Just like I was when you asked me yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that." you keep your tone light, not wanting him to think that you were by any means annoyed with him. "What's going on?"

"I guess I keep waiting for you to disappear." he admits, head nodding involuntarily. "You're here right now, and you look fine." he continues, and you like listening to him, even if he was breaking one of the rules, and choosing to profile you. "So shouldn't things feel different? Better at least, like before?" he asks, and you don't expect that. Maybe he wasn't profiling you at all, and instead was expressing himself to a friend. "At least a little bit?" he asks, and you think it over.

"I don't think it'll ever be like before, Spence." and you hate to be the Betty Buzzkill, but it's as true as you can be. "How can it?" and Spencer's eyes jump across the room, landing on Emily who was not so subtly watching the two of you speak. You follow his gaze, and blink harshly when Emily's eyes connect with your own. It forces you to look right back at Spencer. He looks pensive, and you wonder how long he's been working up the courage to say more than 'Are you alright?'

"She was dead... and now suddenly she's not. That's great, but I grieved my friend, and maybe I'm not done grieving the Emily I knew before." and it's the first time you're admitting this aloud. "Our Emily, not the- Interpol Superspy." and you huff. "And look, I know I should be grateful, how many people get back the people they love after death?" and Spencer doesn't answer. "But is she really back? Is she really still our Emily? And how long before she's ready to pack up her stuff and take off? I'm not opening myself up to that again."

Spencer thinks your point is valid, he at one point had insisted that he had the worse abandonment issues on the team, but you had been right there through most of it. You were, in your own way protecting yourself from being hurt again. He couldn't fault you for that, none of them should. "I understand." and truthfully he does, and he's glad that at least you trust him enough to be upfront about it. "There's nothing wrong with shielding yourself from heartache, I just don't want you to close off completely... not from all of us."

You falter, and Spencer hates that he can't just say that he doesn't want you to close off from him. He didn't want this situation to change the way you behaved with him, he couldn't handle losing you.

"I won't." you promise. "And I won't do anything to jeopardize what we do here, I've got enough self control to be civil." you add with a small smile. "I haven't quite decided what a future at the bureau will look like, but I am willing to give things here a chance to get better." and you do love your work, Profiling was something you enjoyed doing, you wouldn't toss it away, unless you absolutely had no other choice. "So you don't have to worry about losing me, Spence." and you hold your breath, mostly because it's a bit audacious on your part.

He offers you a half smile, and you notice the way he visibly relaxes. Still, he doesn't want you to feel obligated to stay somewhere just for his sake, so he feels the need to be honest with you. "I'm not worried." he promises you, and it's a tiny fib, one that could become true if he grew just a touch more confidence. "Even if you did decide to leave one day I would put in the work to keep you in my life." and his smile stretches across his face now, and reaches his eyes. "You're not someone anyone would want to lose." your stomach twists.

"You're not either, Spencer." and you say it firmly, mainly to show just how much you need him to believe it. "I'd just make it my job to take up all your free time outside of work." and his face feels incessantly warm, like he'd stuck his head directly in the stream of scalding shower water. The funny thing about you was that you were oftentimes one of the hardest on the team to read. He figured that because he spent so much time hyper focused on you that he'd get better at it. He still hadn't, and you still managed to leave him stuck.

Comments like the one you just made were common for you, but the meaning behind it always escaped him. Were you flirting with him or were you just being nice? Was it possible that you knew that he had feelings for you? Were you using him as a rebound after the mess you'd found yourself entangled into with Hotch just months ago? The thought of him merely being an emotional rebound made him sad, disappointed, and insecure. But then he's taking in your expression, how despite your confidence you still look shy, and reels it in.

You had never been that sort of person, maybe you were just as oblivious as he was. "I'd be okay with that now." and you look a bit surprised, but also pleased. You nod your head slightly, leaning forward just a little in your seat. Spencer isn't sure if he's moved too quickly, but he's got no room to second guess it now.

"We should do something." it's not at all what he'd expected you to say, and he's surprised, it's more than evident on his face.

"Who? Us? Just the two of us?" he asks, and you find yourself offering him an amused sort of glance.

"Yeah, it could be fun." you insist, and you're not trying to play with his feelings, at least not in the traditional sense. Spencer Reid was no rebound. "It's not often we have days off, you know?" and you lean against your palm, head tipping slightly to the side. "Only if you want." you add, hoping that this addition would make him feel a touch more comfortable. It seems to work, because he untenses just a bit.

"Y-Yeah." he nods his head slightly, hair moving with the action just slightly. "Yeah, we should definitely do something." he agrees, and your smile is bright, clearly pleased at the turn of events. "When would you?" his eyes jump to his watch, and he shakes his head. "Obviously, not right now." he says and you're staring at him a bit bemused, because Spencer Reid was nothing if not a bit unserious.

"There's this music store I've been dying to check out." you say, and you witness Spencer's eyes seem to brighten. "It's sort of right on the strip, if you don't mind going with me to look at some vinyls and cd's for my collection, we could just go-" and you're eyebrows are raised, "And see what happens? There's a lot you could do..." you finish, and Spencer's already nodding his head in agreement.

"T-That's..." and he clears his throat, you think to keep you from acknowledging the fact his voice cracked in his nervousness. "Yeah, I don't mind that at all." he agrees politely. "Did you know that in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, record stores only sold gramophone records, but over time they've sold other formats like eight-track tapes, compact cassettes, and compact discs." his hands curl into one another as he relays this message and you snort.

"Did you know that there's a national record store day? It started back in 2008." and he's a bit surprised that you're shooting him a fact of your own, and one that he wasn't actually aware of.

"Really?" he questions, and your eyes sort of crinkle, smile broadening enough to show off both rows of your teeth.

"Don't tell me that I know something the brilliant Doctor Reid doesn't." you tease, and his eyes roll, though his entire demeanor remains lighthearted. "So, what's your poison?" you sidestep, but just barely, your work ignored as you focus all your efforts on keeping this conversation with Reid going.

"My poison?" and his mind of course drifts to alcohol, a bit of a confusing pivot in the conversation. "I don't really see myself as much of a drinker." he admits truthfully, and he's confused when you're laughing, hand flying up to cover your mouth as his face contorts.

"I meant your favorite music genre." you correct. "And I know you're partial to classical," and you try not to stretch your eyes. "It's great when I need to concentrate, but I wouldn't exactly say I'm dying to put on Bach and Tchaikovsky in a regular setting." you explain, both hands resting against your cheeks as you await the hopefully longwinded answer he'd have to give you.

"What if that's my only answer?" he asks, and you scoff.

"It's not." you deadpan, and he exhales through his nose. "I know you and Morgan have that understanding about music..." you explain, head cocked to the side. "He got you to listen to Nas." you remind him as he purses his lips at the reminder. "And Garcia's always sending music recommendations." you proceed as Spencer shoots you a look that clearly reads 'What's your point?'.

"Are you really telling me that out of every genre of music that's ever been released to the entire world, the only genre that's ever stood out to you is the one where old men sit behind a piano and twinkle the keys to their hearts content?" Spencer's releasing another one of those quiet laughs, this one is clearly full of exasperation though.

"I think they're doing a little bit more than twinkling keys." he corrects you, and you know that. You'd only said it to get under his skin just a little, he was fun to mess with. "Classical music is one of the only genres that seemingly does so little and is able to express the full spectrum of human emotion and life experience." he explains, and you fight your smile, leaning in just a bit more to show you were focused. You weren't sure what was happening or if anything was really happening at all, and it was all in your mind.

But you were finding that you didn't mind just listening to Spencer go on and on about whatever he wanted. You thought a lot about what had happened outside of that court room, how he'd listened to you. Really listened to you, and had never once made you feel like the emotional failure you'd imagined yourself to be. You couldn't say that in the span of a week all of your feelings for Hotch had vanished. That'd be bullshit, because deep down you knew it wasn't that easy.

And sometimes you wished it could be, sometimes you wondered why you had to fall for Hotch when Spencer was right there.

Still, whether or not you were being forced to come to grips with the fact that Hotch was not, and wouldn't ever love you the way you loved him, you couldn't deny that it was nice to have a friend there. Spencer wasn't coming to you with heavy confessions and tear-streaked cheeks begging you to look and see that he was perfect for you, which is why you think you like him even more. You knew a lot of times it was hard, rare even to find someone who would just care for you without expecting anything in return. That was Spence to a T.

"Go on." you instruct, and you find that despite the way you'd baited him into this conversation, it was well worth it. He didn't get a lot of time to just be Spencer, and with no clock over your heads, no rush for time to solve a case, you figured it was the least you could do. Especially after he'd spent the last week trying to show you how much he cared.

"I just mean that in classical music, it's actually very common to have one piece of music encompass an entire host of emotions, experiences, and subject matter." he expresses, and you hum, nodding along. "And it's all because most classical pieces use a similar formula that uses textures, dynamic colors and key modulations to express things certain words can't properly articulate." he proceeds. "That's why certain sounds and notes manage to adduce certain reactions." he seems finished.

"Oh, yeah?" you press and he nods limply, seemingly awaiting the moment you offer some jab regarding his oversharing. "I guess Mozart and Beethoven were really onto something." you mutter, and he snorts. "Still, I'd much rather listen to something a bit more obvious." you admit, not that you had a real problem with Classical Music.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I'm just saying... music's always sort of been the perfect tool for expressing everything you might need to say." you counter. "And while I agree that music in any form does a great job of invoking certain emotions, sometimes you don't want to guess what someone means." you admit, and it's partially (mostly) because you had never been good at reading in between the lines. Things always made the most sense when they were plainly spelled out.

"Or maybe that's just a me thing." you correct. "I've found that I always enjoy things when they're a little more laid out... there's no way to misunderstand when it's spelled out for you, right?" you ask and Spencer's lips curve down into a slight frown. He's not pitying you, mostly just sympathizing with how torn up you must have been about everything. Especially as your eyes instinctively are drawn to the shut doorway of Hotch's office. Spencer thinks that's when reality sets back in and hits him like a brick.

Because he knew something that you didn't. Something that would probably make everything better for you, but would undoubtedly double his heartache. In truth, he, much like everyone else on the team tried their hardest to ignore just how obvious you'd been about your feelings for hotch. spencer more than anyone.

He remembered how things had changed a few months back, how you'd started to move on all for the rug to be pulled from up under your feet. It had been outwardly cruel, undoubtedly. because while everyone else on the team seemed to be just fine with 'don't ask, don't tell', Spencer had been unable to not pay attention to the way Hotch had actually changed too. Did he hate him? Absolutely not... and he knew you didn't either, because despite how idiotic the plan was, he hadn't done much besides give you more attention.

And Spencer guessed the act of giving you more attention had unsurprisingly ended with Aaron Hotchner realizing it was something he actually enjoyed. Hence the sudden change their boss underwent.

He supposed that was the worst part about it all, the fact that everyone had the right to tell you that "nothing had happened", and there was nothing you could do about it. Because in the grand scheme of things nothing really had happened. Hotch was no heartless womanizer, Spencer couldn't even imagine the man flirting with anyone, let alone stringing someone along for kicks. Still, that didn't change the fact that you'd gotten your hopes up, and now you were back to your own harsh reality.

Not because it wasn't a real possibility, more so because Hotch was self destructive, and sabotaged himself and his happiness at every turn. Spencer wants to stay quiet, to bask in the fact that you were slowly on your own terms getting over Hotch, and paying more attention to him, but he can't do that. He'd hate it if someone did it to him. So instead he decides to throw you a bone, push you in the right direction. "Why haven't you just talked to him?" it's not what he had meant to say. He had meant to play the role of the supportive friend.

He'd wanted to pat you on the back, mumble some agreeance that would validate how you were feeling, and possibly give him cool points. Instead, here he was about to push you in the direction of someone else. He supposed that's how stupid love made you.

"What?" you exclaim, and Spencer doesn't know what's so exasperating about his question. It was obvious that you needed to, it wasn't fair that you were slowly deteriorating on the inside whilst trying to maintain some semblance of being a "team player". He said 'screw the team' if it wasn't genuine. And clearly, from the way you'd still been icing out JJ and Emily, it wasn't. Not fully anyway. He'd never rush you to get over it, mostly because it'd make him a hypocrite. He still cringes at the thought of the tears he'd shed to JJ.

But, that was his own problem.

"Hotch." he lowers his voice a little, because it's just now hitting him that the two of you have been slacking off for a while now. Emily wasn't exactly focused in on the both of you anymore, but every so often, he'd find that she still look up every few moments. JJ, Derek, and Rossi had made a habit of leaving their respective offices, eyes glued to what was apparently becoming unit news. "You should talk to him." he says simply as your eyes cross dramatically.

"What's there to talk about?" you ask suddenly distracted by a smudge on the corner of your desk.

"What happened." he says simply. "I mean, don't you think there might be some explanation you might be missing?" Spencer tries, and you curl into yourself just a little bit.

"It's still work hours and he's still Hotch." you deny, and Spencer's lips push to the side, an obvious sign of his slight discomfort about what he was going to say next. "He's not going to want to talk about it." you admit. "And what exactly do you say in a conversation like that? Oh by the way boss, I was in love with you, and it kinda felt like maybe you felt the same, except oh wait, it was just a ploy to keep me from realizing you were lying about Emily being alive?" you say sarcastically. Spencer huffs in retaliation.

"Yes actually, you could say exactly that. Maybe you'll learn something you didn't know before." he deadpans, and your nose curls. You cut your eyes over at the man, who's not amused.

"I kinda thought you'd be the last person pushing for this sort of confrontation, you know?' you admit before you can really help yourself. You watch as Spencer's face seems to set into one of surprise, his cheeks and neck slowly gaining a red sort of tint to them.

"What do you mean?" he questions, and your mouth parts just slightly. And you think the same way he's been gentle with you is the exact same way you need to be gentle with him, so you pivot, head shaking from side to side.

"Nothing." you say firmly. "Forget about it." you say quietly, and then you're looking back at your paperwork. Spencer, embarrassed finds himself fiddling with his fingers, trying to scold his heartbeat back into submission. It suddenly felt way too cramped sitting at your desk.

"You should go after work." he says, and your eyes snap back to him. "Talk to Hotch after work, I mean." he says and your stomach feels a bit tight. "I think it'll be best." he proceeds, and you frown.

"You do?" you question, and you try not to sound despondent.

"Y-Yeah, I do." he agrees despite his stutter. "Things like this don't go away on their own, you know?" and you chew on the inside of your lip, and feel that gloom cloud from earlier making its way back.

"I thought we were supposed to be hanging out today, Spencer." you start and he blinks owlishly, long lashes nearly caressing the tops of his cheekbones.

"We could always raincheck." he says, and you stare at him just a bit blankly. "It's not like it was a date or anything. They were just plans..." he adds, and your teeth chomp down on your bottom lip. He doesn't really know how to read the look on your face, but he knows that he feels like he's being noble.

"Just plans." you shrug your shoulders dismissively. "Right." and then you pick up your pen. "Well if that's what you want, I guess it's fine by me." you add, body curling into itself as you position yourself away from him.

"Isn't that what you want?" he questions, and you cut your eyes.

"Do you think I'd be sitting here if it was?" you keep your voice level, but your leg is bouncing. You're not quite sure why, maybe because Spencer was being Spencer. You supposed your comment that made it clear that you knew that he had feelings for you had scared him. Now, he was trying to protect himself, but you weren't so hungry for a relationship that you'd string him along for the sole purpose of getting over Hotch. You would've made this call had you figured it out or not, and you supposed the fact he didn't get that was what sucked. "I'm not that pathetic." you add with a quiet scoff.

"It's not about you being pathetic." he denies. "I don't think that about you., I just know that you're in a vulnerable place. You had real feelings for him, and I think it'd be best for you to get it all off your chest correctly, before you start projecting all those leftover feelings to the first person you can." and he doesn't mean it in the way it sounds. In fact the statistics about rebounds would sound a lot worse, but as usual, he's horrible at communicating exactly what he feels.

You blink. Once, twice, three times.

"I can't believe you just said that to me." you say, and you're abruptly standing up, mostly because you're about to cry like the fucking baby you were. Spencer's certain this is a new record for how quickly things could go left just because he couldn't shut the hell up. What he'd been trying to convey was that after a rejection, it was much easier to mistake platonic feelings for romantic ones. He had been a consistent shoulder for you to lean on since everything went south.

He didn't want you to think that he was being nice to you only because he had feelings for you, and convince yourself that you felt the same all because you refused to fully shut the door with Hotch. But he'd never actually meant to make it seem like you'd be so desperate, and especially not with him. "Y/N, wait. That's not what I meant-" except you're already leaving, taking in the shaky breath that told him he'd stupidly made you cry.

"L/N?" Emily's calling as you pass her, but you don't respond to her either. Instead you're rushing off in the direction of the bathroom, likely to calm yourself down. Emily's eyes are immediately snapping over to Spencer, and her eyebrows are furrowed. He instinctively looks away, internally cursing himself out.

────────────────────────

"Y/N/N?" you're surprised to hear JJ entering the bathroom, and you're hurriedly moving to splash at your face with water to keep it from looking so puffy. Still, JJ was as perceptive as she was pushy, so it's clear she's already put it together that you're crying. "Hey, is everything alright?" she takes on that motherly tone she uses with Henry, and the rest of the team when they're feeling down.

"I'm fine." you insist, and she doesn't look convinced. She takes a tentative step towards you, standing beside the sink you were occupying. "Seriously JJ, please just leave me alone." you partially beg.

"I know you're upset with me, but you're still my friend." she reminds you. "I'm not going to leave you in here when it's clear you're upset." she exclaims. "So you can talk to me or not, but I'm not going anywhere." she deadpans, and you sniffle, rubbing harshly at your cheeks. They're sensitive to the action, blood rushing to your face.

"You're so annoying." you mumble, but there's no bite. It makes JJ snicker, and it's a step in the right direction you're sure.

"It's my job." she retorts with a shrug, and she leans her back against the sink beside you, legs crossing slightly. "Is everything okay?" she tries again, much more gently as you frown. No, everything was not okay. You hadn't actually expected to be sitting here crying over Spencer's remark, but you supposed that the fact he believed you'd ever use him as a rebound had kind of hurt. You supposed it also didn't help that he'd so callously canceled your plans.

You'd actually started to look forward to hanging out with him.

"Do you think I'm desperate?" you question haughtily, and JJ's eyes widen, surprise overtaking her features as she turns to you fully.

"Of course not." she denies firmly, blonde ponytail bobbing with all her intense animation. "What would make you think that?" she pries, and you cut your eyes just slightly.

"You guys could have trusted me with the truth." you counter, and she falls silent. "And even if you couldn't there were so many other ways to keep me from finding out about Emily. Ways that didn't involve making me look like an idiot to the rest of the team." you mumble crossly, and you blink enough that you feel like your lashes are crumpling into your cornea. it forces you to drag a hand over them roughly, rubbing harshly at your eyes until the sensation left.

"That wasn't what we were trying to do." JJ tries, and it doesn't really matter what exactly she was trying to do. What mattered was what had happened. "You know that." she adds, and you think she's trying to appeal to the part of you that knew the type of people she and Hotch were. The ones that had proven their loyalty to the team for years and years. "Is this about Hotch?" she says and you wince because the problem wasn't that simple.

And you didn't understand why everyone seemed to think so.

You weren't some girl that couldn't handle rejection, what bothered you the most was that Hotch and JJ had felt like they couldn't trust you, and it bothered you that Hotch had felt like he had to play along to some stupid fantasy to ensure you'd play your role. And it especially bothered you that you'd mourned your friend Emily and everything you thought you knew about her, and all anyone could focus on was the fact that you liked Hotch and he didn't like you back. As if your entire world stopped all because of it.

"No, it's not about Hotch." you deadpan. "I wish you guys would just stop being so casual about it." you add on as JJ's mouth parts.

"Y/N... it's not really something that you'd ever really been subtle about. Everyone knows." and she's still trying to be gentle, despite the fact that the words still managed to slice at you.

"So that makes what you guys did, okay?" you shoot back. "Is that really the hill you want to die on?" and you're growing crosser. "This isn't about not being liked back by a guy, this is about me believing that the people I spend most of my days with have my back. How are we supposed to be a team when I can't trust you?" you press. "Because you never would have done that to Spence." you add, and JJ blinks, mostly because she doesn't know how to counter that.

"You didn't have to do it to Derek or Rossi or Penelope either." you remind her. "So what was it about me, about this that made your only course of action rubbing salt in a wound that I was doing a damn good job of healing all on my own?"

"I-I don't know." she admits, and you suppose it was an answer.

"Yeah, well I don't know if I have the patience to wait around for you all to figure that out." you mumble.

"What are you saying?" and JJ's blinking a bit more, eyes misty but not quite showing any signs of shed tears.

"I'm saying that before I didn't know if I wanted to stay here anymore. I love my job, but I don't love how it makes me feel now." you say plainly. "When Elle got like that and ignored her gut it got someone shot." you say, and it sounds melodramatic, but it doesn't feel that way at all. JJ gasps, though it's faint. "I just don't want to wait around for that to happen to me." and you inhale sharply, shuddered breath wracking through you as JJ stares at you clearly gobsmacked.

"But-" and she can't quite grasp the words. "You can't just leave." she exclaims, and it sounds like she's pleading. "Look-" and she's starting to sound just a little desperate. "Look we never wanted to hurt you, okay? And-and none of us..." and she stops to make sure she's staring you directly in your eyes. "None of us want to lose you, Y/N." she insists. "I-" and she's shaking her head again. "Please don't do this." and she sounds the same way Spencer did when he said it. Your nose twitches, "We just got the team back together." she mutters.

"JJ, that's not fair." you huff at her, and she's not really trying to be fair. She just doesn't want you to leave.

"I'm so sorry that we hurt you." and while most apologies that start that way are usually rife with deceit, JJ sounds more sincere than she probably ever has before. "And I'm sorry if it feels a little flat, especially with you already having a foot out the door." she sighs, "It wasn't okay, but-but I know how Hotch feels about you. How the entire team feels about you." she reiterates. "We can't do this without you, we can't." she emphasizes sternly. "And maybe that's selfish to bring up, but we all care so much about you." she promises.

You want to cut her off, but she doesn't give you the chance.

Classic JJ.

"Do whatever you need to! Take as much time away as you need, hate us forever if you have to, but please don't- don't walk away from what you do here." she exhales shakily. "And-and for the record, whether it helps or not... we didn't sit around discussing your... feelings for Hotch." she tells you quietly. "It wasn't some master plan that we composed, and-and I don't know... it couldn't have all been fake." she whispers, and you wonder why she's changing her tune, because just last week she was telling you that 'it wasn't real'

"JJ-" you finally manage and she's shaking her head.

"I'm serious." she insists, and your nose crinkles up again.

"Stop." you deadpan. "You're being really mean." you huff, and you begin to click at your nails just slightly. JJ thinks you're a little bit exasperating. Too stubborn for your own good, but she wont push.

"Could you just listen for one second?" she exclaims, and you're pouting as she grows more overwhelmed at it all. "I wouldn't lie to you about this." she insists, and you wonder why she, and Spencer have taken this sort of stance with you. It should make you hopeful, right? Oh, there was some chance that Hotch felt the same way as you. Except you can't be happy about it, because he's not the one that was sitting here telling you this. It was JJ.

What had you told Spencer earlier? 'There's no way to misunderstand when it's spelled out for you, right', and emotionally exhausted or not, you meant it. Which meant you refused to do the work for him. If he couldn't say it, if he couldn't admit it, than it was as if it wasn't true at all. Which is why you exhale, blinking away whatever bleariness tried to keep itself latched to your eyes. "I love you for trying so hard, but I'd rather you didn't." you instruct sternly.

JJ inhales deeply, audibly expelling the breath from her nose. "That's what you're missing, Y/N." she begins, and she reaches out, hand cupping your shoulder. "I'm not trying to do anything. Everything I've said today I meant. You're important, and you're a lot to lose." she admits. "If you're going to leave, leave because you hate the job, do it because you don't feel fulfilled any longer. But don't let this be what makes you throw in the towel, Y/N." she says and you huff again.

You were doing a lot of that today. "We'll make up for it." she begins, and then she sighs. "I'll make up for it, however long it takes." and you think her pivot from sharing the blame to taking it all for herself makes you feel a little less like you were being ganged up on. She was no longer the spokesperson for everyone involved, and was back to just being JJ, your friend JJ. "Please?" she tries again, and it's not like her to beg, which tells you all you need to know about how serious she was.

"We should get back to work." you mumble, and it's not quite the answer she's expecting, but at the very least it was a promise that you both still had until the end of the day at the very least. She doesn't have the strength to fight her smile, arms looping around you in a move that's much too invasive for your still sour mood, but you don't slight her for it. You instead let her hug you, because obviously it meant a lot more to her than you knew. She'd missed you.

"Alright, alright. That's enough." you tease, moving to lightly push the blonde off of you as she exhales.

"Can you blame me? I thought you were gonna hate me forever." she admits honestly, and you crinkle your nose.

"Guess I'm softer than I thought." you reply, and she waves you off at the remark. Still, despite this slight turn in the direction of your relationship with JJ, you still couldn't feel all that settled. But, you know hiding out in the restroom was by no means the best choice. So when JJ moves to leave, you tail her, surprised when on the other side is a nearly pacing Reid.

"Spence?" JJ exclaims in surprise, the tawny haired man turns to you both. He's immediately looking past JJ to take you in. JJ follows hos gaze and whistles under her breath, deciding that her job was done. She offers you a hopeful sort of look before she continues on towards her desk, leaving you and Spencer mostly alone.

"Are you okay?" he asks, and you're subjectively alright, for the moment. You're better than you were, but not as good as you could be. You're not anywhere near where or who you were before, but you suppose after what the team endured there wasn't much that could be done about that last bit. "I'm so sorry." he's exclaiming, and of course, he means it. He always means it. "I didn't mean to-" and he doesn't really know how to articulate all his thoughts correctly.

He's good with words, knows facts and statistics and data, knows what runs through his mind when he thinks about you, and knows what he wants to say. It's when he opens his mouth that things go awry, because despite all his grand attempts, he always manages to screw up when it came to expressing the emotional side of things. His pep talks sometimes fell flat, and a lot of times he missed the mark when it came to cheering someone up. But, he'd never wanted to be a person who hurt you, so he needed to fix it.

Even if it ruined everything forever.

"I wasn't trying to insinuate that you'd-" and he motions between the both of you. "I don't think that you see me as a rebound." he finally vocalizes. "That would mean you'd have to see me in a potentially romantic way." Spencer's voice is as steady as it often was when he was giving a geographical profile or helping to relay some form of fact or evidence during a case. Which said a lot about his intentions, and how serious he was about you not misunderstanding him.

"I was merely trying to note that a lot of times in circumstances where we're faced rejection from someone we hold to a high regard, it's really easy to misinterpret our own feelings and latch onto people before we really mean to." he expresses, and your chewing on the inside of your cheek, albeit subtly. "For example, because you've established me as someone who you can trust during this time, it'd be really easy for you to misinterpret what you think you feel for me." he says, and your eyebrows furrow inwardly.

"How could I possibly do that? They're my own feelings." you retort.

"Because, the first thing people do after a breakup, is they seek validation, or a new way to boost their esteem and self worth." he doesn't quite lecture, but it's clear he's intent on your knowing all of this. "And that doesn't necessarily mean that you're vying for me as a potential person to bounce back with, but a lot of times when you don't process the end of a previous emotional bond, your view of the entire new dynamic can be warped." he proceeds, and you're still not really understanding his point, instead you're feeling more silly.

"What are you saying, Spencer?" you question quietly.

"All I'm trying to explain is that I don't want you to tell me that you want to go out and listen to me promenade facts unless it's what you really want to do." he says, "I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to play along, because you think we're in the same boat... where we- we love someone that we can't have?" he presses, and he winces once it's out, you think you may have started holding your breath. "Does that make sense to you?"

You nod your head limply, and you take in his words. You find that your little hunch about your dear Spencer was correct. You also note that it doesn't quite scare you the way you'd initially believed it would. "Spence, I wouldn't do that to you." you remind him, and he nods too.

"I know that." he promises. "At least not consciously, but our minds can play tricks on us. You could think that this is what's best, moving on... forgetting about- about everything that happened." he presses, and your lips form into a thin line. "And then wake up in three weeks and remember why you fell in love with Hotch to begin with."

"Or-" and his eyes widen.

"Or?"

"Or...I could choose to stop waiting around for someone to not be afraid to love me." you counter. "I could- I could choose to hang out with my friend, Spencer and be okay with whatever happens after that. I could- We could do that. And it could be okay." you purse your lips. "Because, it's what I want to do. Nobody's entitled to my feelings but me, and you know what that means, Spencer? It means that if you think that you might love me, you need to be okay with that." he looks a bit startled that you're saying it so bluntly, but stays quiet.

"And you need to know that sometimes your statistics are gonna be wrong, and sometimes the guy that's too scared to admit how they feel doesn't get the girl." it's a shock, you can't say that you've fallen out of love in a day, you can't say that you've fallen in love in a day. But you do know that Spencer Reid managed to invoke a hope inside of you that you hadn't managed to feel in a long time. He made you girlishly giddy, and you liked talking to him, you liked listening to him, you liked the way it felt when you'd made plans together.

And maybe there was no such thing as a happily ever after where everyone gets who they want, maybe in three weeks you would wake up and find that you and Spencer were better off as friends, but you weren't going to hold up your life in the hopes that maybe someday Aaron Hotchner would wake up and decide he was finally ready to love you out loud. Not when there was a chance to take your own life, your own emotions by the balls and do with them what you wanted.

"He doesn't?" Spencer asks, and you're not quite sure you can place what emotions are resting on his face and in his eyes.

"We can find out." you offer, and it's not some heady and heavy declaration of unyielding devotion, but wasn't that sort of how every relationship started? With some decision to take a chance. Maybe, you didn't really know. "There's this music store I've been dying to check out." you say, and for the second time that day Spencer seems to brighten right in front of your eyes. "It's sort of right on the strip, if you don't mind going with me... there's a lot we could do…" and the small change is almost everything. It's scary, causes a pit in your gut.

Still, it's a nicer feeling than uncertainty and the hollowness left behind by idleness. "Are you in?" you ask, and Spencer is already nodding his head, smile reaching his eyes as his pretty teeth reveal themselves to you, eyes twinkling in a way that's very very beautiful.

"Yes." he agrees with a simple nod. "I would-" and you think it's cute the way his smile refuses to leave, and sweet the way he's suddenly grown nervous all over again. "I'd like that-" and his voice cracks, and earns him a laugh, your own demeanor seeming to change as your excitement starts to brew in the depths of your chest.

"Good." you beam.

"Good." he repeats, and there's a small moment, a flicker where you're certain you both look nervous, frightful of what came next. But it only lasts a second, because you're both suddenly being called by Derek, a resounding 'Pretty Boy, Pretty Girl' forcing you out of your bubble and back into the fray. With another shared smile you find yourselves in step, making your way back towards the heart of the bullpen where the rest of the team is huddled. It's rare when work is so light, but you know as well as everyone else, you'll all take advantage of it.

When Penelope smiles at you, you smile back, and it's real.

When JJ plants herself on top of your desk, the two of you actually laugh, spilling secrets and trading gossip like nothing's ever changed.

When Rossi calls you Piccola, you relax even more into the familiarity of being surrounded by your teammates.

When Derek slings an arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss to the top of your head, you remember why you loved your job.

When Emily calls your name and waves you and JJ over to the group, you oblige, meeting Emily's eyes with no mirth left behind. When she calls you by your nickname, you feel that familiar swarm of familial adoration filling your chest, and recognize that things with her would be okay. You find that in the grand scheme she is still your Emily.

When you find yourself standing next to your boss, his usually stern and stoic persona shed in the presence of the team he considered family, you hardly bat an eye. When he smiles at a joke you make, you're pleased, but the anxiety, the panic that tormented you is all gone. The butterflies are too, replaced with the respect you remember.

And when you find yourself looking across the circle and meet the pretty brown eyes of one Spencer Reid, you feel it when your heart tremors, just a little bit.

And you think, in the end, you made the right decision.

[jujusdiary]

TILL FOREVER FALLS APART -ln4

pairing- lando norris x child hood best friend fem fewtrell!reader warning- mentions of trauma, abusive relationship, use of "kiddo" as a nickname from max to reader (idk if that's a warning lol) and use of y/n (ew ew ew sorry) genre- mutual pining, brother's best-friend, hella angst, fluff, fluff, and uhm, oh yeah- fluff. summary- after years of being apart, lando reunites with his childhood best-friend, but it's not what everyone is chalking it up to be. reminders of a past argument float up, and the reason for your absence all these years start to become more and more apparent. word count- 4.659k -- this fic was also not proofread lol bc i have no one willing to proofread these yet, so pls lmk if anyone would be interested 😽 also requests are still open and tysm for the love on my oscar post!!! Any text in orange is past/memory scenes soz if it gets confusing : )

• —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · keep reading !! · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–

You stare off into the distance, your eyes glossy. The paddock stands like a bad memory before your eyes, and you try hard not to reminisce on the last time you stepped past that gate.

"You don't have to go in, you know that, right? You can see Lando some other time." Your brother, Max, says as he places his hand over yours. The car feels so much smaller now, as you sit there with him, the pass heavy in your hands.

"No, no. I have to go see him, i-i promised." You mutter to yourself, gulping down the fear in your throat. Last time you were here, it was over three years ago. You had been accompanied by your boyfriend at the time, Jonah, with his hand wound up around your arm tightly, fingertips digging into our flesh. You swear you can feel his fingers digging into you again, the bruises he left on your body aching all over again-

"Jonah can't hurt you, kiddo. He's far away, he can't reach you." Max reassures you, but you still have to swallow the bile in your throat as you climb out of the car and start to walk towards the paddock and the Mclaren hospitality, your legs shaky as all the memories come rushing back.

"you embarassed me, on live television !" His hand coming down to collide with your cheek. You whine in pain as your body jolts back, your arms and chest covered in bruises, your cheek stinging in pain.

"I-I'm sorry i didn't mean to ! I was just trying to congratulate Lando-" You say, shaking as you tried to back away from him. Jonah wasn't usually an angry man. He used to be sweet and tender towards you, always anxious whenever you would even so much graze your knee. But then he got angry over little things, like when you would knock things over or when you spoke a little too loud.

"Instead, you embarassed me and now everyone thinks my girlfriend is a whore !" You tried to squirm away from him, to hide somewhere and grab a phone to call someone-anyone- to help you. But his hand wrapped around your ankle and yanked you back towards him, blood sprouting on your cracked open skull as it hit the table.

"Be quiet."

"Yo. Y/n ?" You were snapped back to reality, Max's hand on your back, the younger aussie driver standing before you, already in his suit. "You okay ?" You gulp heavily, meeting Oscar's confused brown eyes.

"Y-yeah. I'm good." You reply, eyes scanning the crowds around you nervously.

"O-kay..? Anyways, Lando is looking for you." He says, clearing his throat and offering you a soft smile, before walking off. Max looks down at you.

"Are you sure you're alright ? You're looking pale. It's okay if you're scared, i know Lando and you didn't leave things on great terms." He mutters. The worry for his little sister is obvious on Max's face. Lando, Max and You have been friends since the karting days, when you were there to cheer on Max and secretly crush on his best-friend. But Lando had always acted like a brother to you, so you had always assumed those feelings were one sided. So when Lando finally made it to F1 and he started asking you to come to races and acting a bit more flirtatious towards you, it angered you because you had felt alne in your feelings for years and now he wanted to act like this ? It angered you to the point of going and getting a boyfriend. Jonah. Lando and you had gotten into a fight last time you had come to the paddock. It didn't end well. That was over three years ago, at Silverstone in 2021.

"Max, mate !" The voice makes your body go rigid.

"Lando !" Max breaks away from you, envelopping his arms around the boy, patting his back. The slightest of his curly brown hair is peeking out from underneath his papaya cap, his race suit tied around his waist as he clutches unto his water bottle. His cheeks are sunkissed underneath the chinese sun, still high off of his p1 quali. His sink is tan, his eyes shimmering with excitement.

"P1, mate, congrats ! That was amazing, that was." Max congratulates, smiling at him.

"Hah, thank you ! I got scared for a second there, but i was glad when my lap was re-instated, lad, i thought it was over-" His eyes find you, and the shimmer seems to die down. You fiddle with your shirt, the mclaren logo scratchy on your chest.

"Y/n." Your names comes tumbling past his lips like a chant too long apart from him, and it's like the breath has been knocked out of your chest.

"Hi, Lan." You answer, although your voice feels to low for him to hear you. He breaks away from your brother, his eyes drinking you in, a gulp passing past his adam's apple. An awkward silence hangs between the two of you, and it makes your heart hurt as you remember how he'd greeted you last time he'd seen you.

"Lan !" You ran into his arms, letting him fling you around as he groaned, picking you up.

"Ah, there you are ! Been wonderin' where you'd gone." He'd muttered into the skin of your neck, his breath warm. His touch was welcome on your bruised body, the heavy sweater creating unnecessary heat on that day. His arms were tight around you. This was the one race this season Jonah had not joined you. But the bruise around your neck was still obvious when Lando placed you down and his eyes fluttered down.

"Darling.." His hand moved your hair away from your neck softly, frowning. His touch was featherlight on your bruise, and you jerked away from him with a flinch. "Did he do this ? Did Jonah do this to you ?" His eyes were dark. You shook your head, trying to break away from him but his grip on your waist was steadfast.

"Don't lie to me." He whispered.

"He didn't mean to." You'd mumbled, and his face fell.

"He hurt you ?" You shook your head, trying to protest, but before you could, he was ushered away to his car.

"You look.. well." He mutters, scratching the back of his neck. Max looks between the two of you. It must be odd, seeing you standing so far from each other. Usually, his hands wouldn't be off you for more than three seconds- Lando craved your touch, it grounded him. Seeing his stand so far felt foreign to Max. He pats Lando's back again.

"Alright well.. I'm going to go find P.. I'll leave you two to it." He says before walking off, shaking his head. You stare at him in silence, your chest heaving.

"How have you been ?" He asks, taking a step closer to you. His eyes are scanning your skin, looking for any trace of a bruise. The thought hits you like a truck- he doesn't know you and Jonah broke up.

"I've been okay." You answer, your voice feeling strained in your throat. He nods, pursing his lips.

"How's Jonah ?" You gulp down the bile in your throat, scratching your eyebrow. The venom in his voice is evident- your past argument clearly still salt in an open wound.

"Uh- convicted. 5 years." His jaw pops open. "Did Max not tell you ?" He shakes his head, gulping.

"No, uh, he didn't."

"After Silverstone, i... I got it together. I called the cops. He was found guilty and.. i haven't seen him since." His eyes flutter as he nods softly, his lips parting.

"What are you doing later tonight ?"

"Nothing. Probably stay in, if i'm honest." You said, laughing as you stared at Lando as he dried off his sweaty hair after his p4 finish, the towel heavy on his neck.

"Go out with me." He said, turning to look at you. You wanted to say yes, you really did. But you knew Jonah would be furious if he found out you had stepped a foot outside without him.

"I would love to, Lan, but i-i shouldn't." You muttered, but he shook his head, tutting.

"Wasn't a question. You and me, we're going out before your muppet of a brother shows up tomorrow and ruins out fun, alright ?" he said, smiling broadly at you. You scratched at your stomach, the hidden bruise on your ribs bothering you as yo sat uncomfortably on the chair, but you couldn't say anything was bothering you or Lando would be all over you.

"I'm serious, Lan, i don't think i should-"

"Nonsense. We're going to have fun."

You stared at him , your feet aching from being stood up so long.

"Should we go sit somewhere ?" Lando asks, his eyes happier than before. You nod.

"Sure." You follow him inside the McLaren hospitality, your hands shaky as you enter the place you haven't seen in three years. Everyone greets you with smiles and handshakes galore, and it makes you feel like you've been greeted home. It still feels weird that he hasn't hugged you yet, and you try not to let that bother you when you sit down on the couch in his driver's room, the door closing behind him. He turns to face you.

"I've missed you, y'know ?" He says, his voice soft as he leans against the door, his eyes looking up. "I didn't think i'd see you again after that night.. After Max told me you'd gone." He says, clearing his throat. You glance down at your hands, fiddling with the skin around your fingers.

"I didn't think i'd come back, to be honest." He looks at you, and his gaze softens.

"I'm sorry, for what i said." He says, licking his lips. You finally look up at him, and the look in his eyes makes you want to sob. "Everytime i think about it.. It makes me want to be sick. The way i treated you-"

"We don't have to talk about that." You say, begging to get away from that subject.

"But i want to apologise to you." He says, sitting next to you. "I didn't mean it. Any of it."

The music was loud, and Lando was leaning next to you at the bar. You were laughing along to something he had said, when your phone had started to ring in your pocket. Its was Jonah. Somehow he had found out you were out, and he was fuming. You were crying in a corner, hiding from Lando, from whom you had excused yourself from to answer the call. Your shoulders we shaking, your dress hiking up to your knees to reveal the bruises peppered on your thighs, the sweater you had slung over to hide the spagetti straps revealing the bruises on your collarbones was now too heavy to bear, making you sweat as you tried your best to control your breathing- yet every breath you took made your ribs ache ache and wince. You tore your sweater off, fanning at your face, relishing in the privacy to no longer hide underneath layers.

"Darling ? Are you in here ?" You tensed up at his voice. You wiped the runny mascara off your cheeks, forgetting you had taken your sweater off. Lando turned the corner, and his jaw almost dropped when he saw you.

"Jesus, Y/n. What has he been doing to you ?" You frowned, before looking down at yourself, the music from the club outside still thrumming on the floor. Your eyes went wide as he took a step closer to you grabbing your arm softly and looking at the bruises peppered on your body. You shook your head, new tears forming in your eyes.

"N-No, i'm just clumsy, I walked into a wall and i bumped into a few tables. You know how i am, Lan, it's nothing-" He shook his head, cutting you off.

"Don't lie to me, darling. I'm sick and tired of you being scared of doing things that you think he would see as out of line. You've changed, Y/n. You're not the same anymore, you're too preoccupied with what he thinks of you, of what he wants you to do." You frowned at his words. It was obvious he was drunk, his words were slurred, but he had had enough. Lando had loved you for years, not that the believed you loved him back, and the second he got into f1, Max had given him the green flag to go ahead and make a move, having placed a heavy hands off for most of your life. But his relentless moves onto you just seemed to anger you, and he didn't seem to understand why- so it's safe to say he was confused when Jonah appeared at the paddock with you, out of the blue. He tried to play it off, to act happy for you because you were happy and that was all that mattered to him. But when he saw you start to be more scared every time anyone lifted their hand or arm, or how you wore heavy and covered clothing even on the hottest of days- he knew something was wrong. Especially when you stopped hugging him before races, especially when Jonah was around, he was convinced something was wrong.

"You're not yourself anymore - You're scared of everything, you're nervous, you look like you don't want to be around me, and you're always doing whatever fucking Jonah wants you to do. Im sick of it. I'm sick of it, i'm tired of seeing you upset all the time." You gulped down tears, and Lando knew he was saying the wrong things. He couldn't tell if he was being rude, the alcohol too heavy in his veins, fogging up his brain.

"Why are you acting like this ?" You mumbled, shaking your head. His words were hitting you, deep. You knew he was drunk, but aren't drunk words simply sober thoughts ?

So Lando really thought you were a push over and you were just giving in to Jonah ?

Letting yourself get hit ?

"Because i love you, goddammit ! I've loved you since we were kids but i couldn't do anything about it because of your brother, but then when he gave me the green light, I was going to go for you- But then you brought fucking Jonah !" His words knocked the air straight out of your chest. He loved you ?

" And i knew he was off- I knew something was wrong with him. The second i saw you act weird, especially to me, i knew something was wrong and now i know !" He yelled, pointing at your bruises. "He's been hurting you, y/n, and you've been hiding it ! God, you should've told me ! All i want is to protect you, darling."

"Lan, you're being mean.."

"Mean ? Mean ?! I'm trying to help you because he's obviously not a good guy but you're too scared to do anything about it, so you've stayed with him for three years !"

"You don't think i know that ? You don't think i've tried to get away ?I have, Lan ! Ive tried to tell you and Max, anyone, but i knew you would act like this and i was scared of what you would do ! What do you think this entire weekend was about ? I was trying to have one good moment before i went back there and ended things with him and filed a restraining order against him !" He tensed up as you yelled back at him, tears streaming down your face. "You think telling me that i've been letting him do these things to me is going to make me fall for you ?"

His face fell, and he suddenly realised that he had made a big, big mistake.

"No, Y/n, that's not what i-"

"Well it's not. And to think i came here all this way for you, putting my ass on the line because who knows the things he will do to me when i get back." You screamed, your throat yelling at you with every raise in. your tone, your voice cracking.

"Then stay. Don't go back, stay with me." He begged. He could tell you wanted to, but his earlier words were still stinging your heart. You shook your head and slipped your sweater back on. You pushed past him, but he gripped your arm.

"No, please, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to yell." His eyes were pleading. "You know that's not what i meant. Please, love, i'm not in my right mind- Just stay until morning and i'll explain it t you when my head isn't moving at three thousand thoughts a minute- Please." You could tell he was drunk. But you still felt sick just looking at him.

"Well it's too late now isn't it ?" You mumbled, before breaking free and running off.

You were on a plane out of the country before Max's had even landed.

"Not any of it ? Wow, okay." You ask, feeling that same prickly feeling in your throat as you did that night.

"Well i meant one part." He says, looking down at you. " I do love you."

"Lando, can we not do this, please ?" He shakes his head.

"But i want to. I don't like knowing you're mad at me-" You stand up, shaking your head, sniffling.

"I didn't come here to hear a half assed apology, Lan. I came here to support you because you're my friend and i missed you, for some reason. But if you're just going to toy with me again, and remind me of things i'd rather forget, then i can't do this." You say.

The thought of anyone genuinely loving you feels suffocating after Jonah.

It makes you sick to even think of being in such a vulnerable state again.

"I promise, i'm not-"

"I'll see you at dinner." You mutter, your chest heaving up and down in panic. He frowns as you move past him and leave his room storming out into the sun to find Max, your mind reeling.

Dinner is not going to be enjoyable.

❀❀❀

The dress is uncomfortable against your ribs, gulping heavily. The car is quiet, Pietra sitting beside you, Max in the front passenger seat near Lando. You try to avoid his eyes darting over to you at every red light, but it's getting painstakingly hard when his breathing gets heavier each time you look down to avoid his gaze. Pietra is scrolling mindlessly on her phone, her head resting on your shoulder as the car trudges past the streets. The restaurant Lando pulls into is fancy, with a valet at the door who takes the car off of his hands as you climb out. Pietra grabs your hand, talking happily about something as max softly touches your shoulder to make sure you're alright.

It feels weird- Wearing a dress and not having to cover a bruise.

You blink hurriedly and let Pietra drag you into the restaurant behind Lando and your brother, leading you to the table. She sits down beside you, Max sitting down infront of her, leaving Lando to sit down infront of you. You gulp and cats your eyes down, trying to include yourself in the conversation happening between your brother and his girlfriend, but it's all batting eyelashes and hand holding. Lando;'s foot nudges your calf. Your eyes snap over.

"Can we please talk-"

"Hi ! What can i get you tonight ?" Lando looks up at the sudden interruption. It's a young waiter, a large smile on his face.

"Uh, we haven't looked at the menu's yet-"

"Oh that's fine, would you like anything to drink ?" Lando's jaw tenses.

"No, it's fine we'll let you know when we're ready-"

"Well, i can offer you some specials ! We have cocktails with free refills, a wine cave that has been critically acclaimed for it's diversity-" Lando's fist comes smashing against the table. You flinch, the suddenness of it all making you jump. Max even looked over at the commotion, his brows knotted in confusion. Lando didn't get angry- at least not that angry. And he did, he'd be more likely to stay angry in silence until he' s calmed down enough to rationally discuss why he was angered in the first place.

"For fucks sake, can you give us a minute !" The young boy stammers, gulping heavily.

"Y-yes, sir. Sorry, sir." The boy backs away, his hands shaking. Like how your hands shook as you dialed 9-1-1 from the hidden safety of your bathtub, bleeding from five different areas, Jonah having left to "clear his head" after beating you to a pulp.

Your eyes are wide in fear, your stomach churning with bile. Max seems to notice and he nods at Pietra, who places her hand over yours tentatively, your eyes trained on Lando, who is staring at you aswell.

"Y/n-" The second her hand touches yours, your body goes into fight or flight mode. You shove her off, leaping to your feet, your chest heaving, your chair groaning loudly on the floor. Everyone in the vicinity has turned to look at you. Max's eyes are wide, knowing the reason for your sudden change. You feel cornered, like every eye pouring into you is Jonah's- taunting you, promising to hurt you. Your eyes dart to Lando, who is staring up at you with worry in his eyes. You shake your head, a whimper forcing it's way out of your lips before running off, your heels clicking on the floor as whispers follow you.

"Y/n !" You hear Lando call, but you're already pushing open the door of the bathroom and locking it behind you after checking no one else was in the stalls. The second you're in privacy, tears start flowing down your cheeks, your hands clawing at your chest to get some sort of air into your lungs, the only thing keeping you up being the iron grip your free hand has on the small porcelain sink.

"Okay.. okay, breathe, Y/n. Jonah is far- He can't hurt you. He can't. He can't." You tell yourself through the rapid fire tears coursing down your face, making it hard for you to see or breathe.

"Darling ? Are you in here ?"

Deja vu hits you so hard you almost stumble backwards.

"I'm sorry, love, i didn't mean to yell."

There it is again.

"Will you please open the door ?"

His voice is so soft, so comforting, you don't even think. The lock comes clicking open and before you know it you're wrapped up into his arms, pushing you back into the bathroom, his voice muffled into your hair as he holds you close, apologising profusely. His hand is pinned to your waist, the other buried in your hair as your hands come to squeeze around his torso, his lips kissing your temple.

"Fuck, i'm sorry. I'm so sorry. God, i'm so sorry, Y/n." He breathes, gently rocking you back and forth. You nod against his chest, relishing in his touch. This is the first time in three years he's held you close.

"I'm sorry about the fight, i had no idea how bad it was, y/n." he pulls away, cupping your cheeks to make you look at him. "I never should've said any of those things. God, you're so strong for even thinking of getting out, my love. He never deserved you, and you never deserved to be treated that way, even less for me to be a dick about it because i was drunk and hung up over you." he peppers kisses all over your face. "And i'm so sorry for yelling just now, really i am, I just felt so bad because you wouldn't even look at me, and i got carried away and-" he stops himself when he realises he's rambling. "I'm sorry." He says, his tone stern. He brushes a strand away from your face, your hands resting on his torso as he stays cupping your cheeks.

"If I could take back that entire fight, I would. Please.. Don't ever leave me again." he begs, his voice cracking as his own tears fill his eyes. "It's been hell without you, Y/n. And knowing it was my fault you stayed away just makes it worse." He says. You lick your lips, and you look up at him through tear-soaked eyelashes.

"You promise you love me ?" Your voice is wobbly. The thought of hearing him say those words again makes you sick yet excited.

"Baby.. I've loved you since we were six. Of course i love you - i'll never stop loving you. And i can love you how you deserve to be.. if you let me." He says, his eyes scanning your face. He awaits for your answer, cleafly impatient. He chuckles softly.

"i really don't mean to push, y/n, but you're killing me here-"

You cut him off, reaching up on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips, your hands finding the soft yet gelled tips of his curls, digging your fingers through them like how you used to fantasise when you were teenagers. His hands grab your waist possessively, pushing you up against the door, settling his knee n between your thighs to keep you up as he focuses on cupping your cheeks and kissing you long and hard, as much as he can, relishing in this moment. A soft whine is pulled from your lips as his hand softly settles around your neck, tilting your face up to get easier access, your smaller frame fitting into his tall one with ease. After a while, he finally pulls away to let you breathe, his hands strong on your hips, your own buried in his hair.

"Fuckin' hell." He pants, his forehead resting against yours. You nod, your eyes shut closed. Secretly, you're scared to open your eyes, because you think he might disappear if you look at him for too long.

"Does this mean you forgive me ?" He asks against your neck, his breath hot on your nape, his lips trailing your jaw. You slap at his chest as you laugh, your eyes opening. He laughs, shaking his head as he kisses along your jaw and collarbones.

"Yes, it means i forgive you, you muppet." You laugh, burying your face in his chest as he kisses your temple.

"God it feels so good to hold you." he mutters, his voice groggy. He cutches you tighter, kissing your nose. You scrunch it up, smiling.

"Y/n ? You in here babe ? Max is really worried, and -" The door comes flying open and Pietra stumbles in, taking in the scene before her- you and lando, both of your lips swollen, Lando's smeared with lipgloss, his curls a mess, his head buried in your neck. You try to shove him off, scared at the sudden exposure of his affection. A sudden jolt of fear courses through your body. God, if Jonah saw you and Lando so close, he would kill you- But then it hits you. Jonah actually can't hurt you.

"Hi, P." Lando smiles lazily as he kisses your forehead and pulls you in, refusing to let you go. Pietra smiles broadly.

"Oh. My. God. Max is going to flip !" She says, laughing. She runs off, ready to go tell Max as Lando finally breaks away from you and slips his hand in yours. He looks up at you, wiping the fallen tears off your tears and kisses your knuckles.

"Mine ?" He whispers. You smile, rolling your eyes.

"Yours." You reply. He smiles, tugging you along to the main room, where the restaurant seems to have continue past your earlier outburst. Max's eyes almost bulge out of his head when he notices your hands intertwined, and for the first time in a while..

It feels good to be vulnerable.

It feels good to be loved.

a/n- YALL I LOWK HATE THIS SOMEONE PLS CONVINCE ME OTHER WISE 😭 ( ALSO YAY LANDO WIN- OBVI A FIC IS COMING UR WAY THERE'S ALSO LIKE THREE OTHERS IVE BEEN WORKING ON SO STAY POSTED FOR THAT UHHHH REQUESTS ARE OPEN AS ALWAYSSSSS)

[heavenlyraindrops]

Hello! can you see a girl reader who wants to be perfect in everything (in appearance, in weight and in work) and cries if someone bypasses her? characters: adam or lucifer :)

“ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ” ——> ᴀᴅᴀᴍ & ʟᴜᴄɪꜰᴇʀ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ——> ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.2ᴋ | ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀꜱꜱᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ

warnings: profanity, mentions of not eating (? Idk)

A/N: omds my first request! thanks anon, hope this is on par with what you were hoping for! Soz if I got anything wrong/ misinterpreted the request :(

——> Lucifer:

You smoothed your hands down your sides, eyes locking onto the reflection in the mirror and assessing the dress you were wearing. You were due to visit Charlie and the Hotel- she was holding some event- soon with your husband. 

But you knew you couldn’t. Not right then, in that state of mind. 

Your muscles ached with hours of stress and overworking yourself, the eye bags that carved shadows into your face from the lack of sleep hidden by your makeup. You loathed the way you looked- not because it was ugly, you were beautiful enough- but because it wasn’t perfect enough. 

You were worried you weren’t good enough for Lucifer. You were worried you weren’t as good as her. Lilith. 

Be anything, you’d think. Be anything you want. Just be better than her. 

You knew this sort of mindset wasn’t healthy, but you craved to be like her, to be better. Her figure, her looks, her success. Whenever you were with Lucifer, you felt like the shadow of her loomed over you, foreboding, ominous. And no amount of his kisses and affirmations could make it go away.

Of course, it wasn’t just Lilith- you were an obsessive perfectionist at heart. Your desire to be perfect already had its grip on you, but then you saw her and you realized that you weren’t at the top. You weren’t the best, as long as she was there. And it crushed you.

Sometimes you’d go without food. Sometimes you’d go without sleep. Sometimes Lucifer would kiss you and tell you he loved you and then your eyes would fall onto her portrait, gleaming in the shadows, and every ounce of warmth would rush out of your body.

Three knocks sounded on the bathroom door, and you flinched out of your haze of misery. 

“Angel?” His voice drifted in through the door. “You okay in there?”

No. No. Not now. Tears threatened to spill over. You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palm. Of course my brain decided to make me have a breakdown now. Perfect timing. 

You opened your mouth, to speak, your chest clenching as you tried to keep your voice steady. “I…” you trailed off suddenly, clamping your lips together after hearing your own voice. “I’m fine.”

A beat for silence. “You’re not fine. Open the door.”

You did, hoping to god your face didn’t betray how you felt. His arms were crossed, sleeves rolled up and coat and hat off. You shrunk in on yourself as his frown deepened once he saw your face. 

“What’s wrong?” He said, gently, quietly, as if you would break. “You’ve been acting off lately.” His hand searched for yours to hold. Eyes soft and concerned. Your heart tore.

And then the dam broke. You slumped your tears rushing like a huge tidal wave, the storm behind your eyes pouring out and suffocating you. 

Within moments his arms surrounded your shaking shoulders, as you curled into his shoulder, your body racked with sobs. “Hush,” he soothed, stroking your hair away. His body was tense under his shirt, you noticed as you clutched the fabric, and you suddenly felt a jolt of nausea. You pushed him away. 

“Don’t look at me,” you sobbed, hiding your face in your hands as you curled in on yourself on the cold tiles. 

“Why?” Lucifer said, voice beseeching you to listen. He took hold of your wrists, pulling them away from your face. “[name], just talk to me.”

You sniffled, face burning as he cupped your face in his hands. “Cause I look hideous,” you muttered. His eyes swept over you, taking you in thoughtfully. 

“You don’t look hideous.”

“Yes I do,” you choked out, and he sighed, his breath skimming your nose. “I’m not good enough.” The words tumbled out of you as you struggled to rein them in, to control your tongue. “I need to be perfect, but-“

“Hey, hey,” he said, firmly, shushing you. “Who said you need to be perfect? Who said you aren’t already?”

You blinked at him. “Huh? I- no one-“

“Then shut up,” he muttered, pressing his lips to your forehead. “You’re already beautiful, understood? You’re the most perfect person I’ve ever met. You don’t need to be any better.”

Your heart swelled, tears drying on your face as you took in the way he looked at you. You pulled him in for a kiss before quickly wiping your eyes. Mascara smeared on the side of your hand, and you cursed, stumbling up.

He grabbed you by the waist, pulling you out of the bathroom. “Not now, darling,” he murmured, pulling you back into the bedroom. “Worry about that later.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. “We’re probably late now and-“

“We’re not going,” he said, and held open his arms, legs pressed to the side of the bed. Without thinking, you immediately crawled into his arms. 

You closed your eyes, the steady beat of his heart calming you, the warmth radiating from his body engulfing you. His voice rumbled against your hair. “I love you, got that?”

“I love you too.”

——> Adam:

“Babe, you need to start fucking eating more.”

Your eyes locked with Adam’s behind you in the mirror as you ran your hands down your sides, tracing your figure. You hated it- so much, because you knew you weren’t good enough. Mediocre at best- and you couldn’t stand that. 

I’m a Winner. I need to be perfect. For Heaven, for myself. You met Adam’s eyes again. For Adam. 

He’d had two wives before you. What if you weren’t enough?

And on the other hand, there was Lute. God, you wanted to be her so bad. You’d always been number two to her, in your own mind at least, and it was slowly driving you insane. Her voice, her body, hair, skills, everything about her screamed unique, cool, original, individualistic- you could have gone on forever. And you, in comparison, were just… plain.

The mere thought clawed at you like a wild, desperate animal. Your husband’s eyes in the mirror held concern for you- concern that made your stomach churn. 

“I’m fine. Aren’t you going to eat dinner?”

He rolled his eyes. “The fuck’s the point of eating dinner alone when you’re right here?” 

You fought to keep your voice calm as his gaze pierced through you, your shoulders sinking. “I’m not hungry.” As if on cue, your stomach grumbled. 

He ran a hand through his brown hair, fluffing it up, exasperated. You flushed as he grabbed your waist, pulling you in, before his hand fell to your hip and squeezed. 

“Goddammit, [name], you think I don’t fucking know what you’re doing? It’s obvious you’re starving yourself.” He pressed a kiss to your neck and you pushed him away gently. 

“Starving is an overstatement,” you said weakly, and your stomach grumbled again. He pinched your cheek furiously. 

“What are you even gonna fuckin’ get outta this?”

You hugged your sides, a lump forming in your throat at the angry look on his face. “Are you mad at me?”

The furious expression etched across his face fell immediately? “Huh? What? No.” His face fell even more as you turned away, rubbing your eyes. “I’m just mad you think you need to stop eating for whatever reason-“

“Whatever reason?” You bit out. “Look at me, Adam! I’m not enough. I need to be perfect. I can’t-“

“You are perfect,” he said flatly. You froze, looking at him. Your own ragged breathing was the only thing you heard, apart from the ticking of the clock. He stared back. You knew he wasn’t good at comforting- so you also knew he wasn’t saying this for your own benefit. 

“I’m not,” you forced out the words, “I’m not good enough.” You gestured to him, then around you. “For you, for everyone. I’m not the best version of myself, I can’t-“

“For fucks sake,” he snapped, cupping your face in his hands and roughly pulling you in for a kiss, tongue immediately swiping over your lips. He pulled away, breath hot on your face.“If you weren’t good I wouldn’t have fuckin’ married you.”

The sincereness lining the rough edges of his tone set it in for you, and you kissed back before he pulled away, and he linked his arm with yours and dragged you into the kitchen, huffing. 

You flopped down onto the kitchen table where he left you before he returned with a plate of food, sitting opposite you. He propped himself up on his elbows and quirked an eyebrow. 

“Eat,” he said.

You did.

“Good?”

You nodded, wolfing down some more. He chuckled, and leaned over, kissing your forehead. 

“Love you. Don’t fuckin’ forget that.”

You sighed, then smiled. “Love you too.” 

[diddybok]

what about felix getting jealous of you spending increasingly more time with hyunjinnie and he gets all pouty and in a strop?

i’d do anything to kiss a pout off of felix’s face. oh wait, i literally can because he is right next to me!

all characters depicted in my writing are from my own imagination and do NOT in any way represent nor reflect the people in real life :)

➩pairing: felix x gn!reader

➩genre(s): angst (soz), a little bit of fluff if you had the vision of a clinically blind person, non-idol au

➩warnings: jealousy, felix grabs reader by the waist quite harshly, but it is not with malicious intent!

➩wc: 0.7k (703)

➩author’s note: whoops. *shrug emoji*

─────────────────────

“Hey Lix have you seen my sunglasses? I can’t find them anywhere.” You yell, your feet thumping softly on the ground as you search around your room frantically.

Felix walks into your bedroom, failing to hide the amusement in his face as he witnesses your panicked state.

“Nope. Haven’t seen them around. Where are you going?” He asks, folding his arms as he leans on the doorframe.

“Hyune and I are going to the beach and we’re gonna take some photos of the sunset.” You say, groaning as you close another drawer unsuccessful in your search for your sunglasses.

Felix’s face immediately falls. His heart starts to beat rapidly and his jaw clenches. Weird.

“Sunset? But it’s noon.” He says, trying to refrain the bite to his tone.

You rummage through your bag, not looking up to see the way his eyebrows furrow.

“Yeah we’re gonna hang out at the beach. We were talking about it for a while and the weather is finally nice so we want to make the most of it.” You say resting your hands on your hips as you close your eyes and take some deep breaths.

Felix didn’t like that. He knows that nothing will happen, you’re his partner, not Hyunjin’s. Though it doesn’t stop the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that burdens him with the question of ‘What if?’.

“Oh. Seems my company isn’t that great if the two of you are going off alone haha….” Felix tries to joke. Emphasis on tries.

The ‘joke’ made you finally turn your attention towards your boyfriend. You walk up to him, placing your hands on his chest reassuringly.

“I’ll collect pretty seashells and rocks and bring them back for you.” You smile up at him about to meet his lips halfway for a smooch, but you turn away at the last second.

Again, ouch. That hurt Felix a little, but he can surely survive on his kiss being swerved. Perhaps to him, he just thinks you’re really set on finding those sunglasses and not trying to rush out the door as soon as possible to get away from him.

That’s not what you think, right? You wouldn’t do that.

You run over to one of your jackets that hang on the back of your door. Trying your luck with the pockets, you damn near cheer as you pull out your sunglasses.

“Yes! Finally,” You place the glasses on the bridge of your nose before sliding them up menacingly. “bring on the beach.” You say lowering your voice.

Sometimes you’re funny, sometimes you aren’t. In this case, Felix would grace you with a small pity laugh to make you feel better about your impromptu serious demeanour you coined, but he can’t stop thinking about Hyunjin.

To be more specific, Hyunjin potentially taking you away from him. Felix just smiles as you chuckle softly to yourself at your antics before moving past him and getting your shoes on.

Hyunjin wouldn’t steal you from him. That’s one of his best friends. He also knows that he is one of your best friends.

“I’ll text you when I get there, when I’m leaving and I’ll send you photos and all the good stuff.” You say hurriedly, giving him a peck on the lips.

It was as if the muscle memory kicked in as Felix’s hand gripped your waist. It wasn’t a tight enough grip to hurt you per say, but it sure did keep you in place.

“You know I love you right? Me. I’m yours?” He whispers against your lips, planting a gentle kiss which acts much like a seal; like wax to an envelope. A promise of sorts.

“I know.” You say with a warm smile. Though your words are genuine, once again they feel as if you’ve wrapped your hand around his heart and squeezed.

Say it back…

But you don’t, you just give him one last kiss to his forehead before racing out the door and straight to the parked car.

It was then when he felt the bile come up at the thought. The thought that by the time you come back home. You will no longer be his.

ʚ hope you enjoyed ^.^ you can support me by liking, commenting and reblogging! it is heavily appreciated ᵕ̈ ɞ

i do not permit my work to be translated or reposted in any way, thank you.

© 2023 diddybok

general taglist: @spacegirlstuff @chengmeiauau

if you would like to be added to the general taglist, let me know in the comments, send an ask or message me!

[astonmartinii]

insta au req about reader and charles being best friends and a rift comes between them because of his girlfriend(or whoever!!) and reader and max finally get together and she shades ferrari and charles purrrrr (if not i totally get it queen love u loads)

into the arms of another | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x reader

after charles leaves her out in the cold, y/n falls into the arms of another.

part two part three

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, arthurleclerc and 506,823 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: dumb and dumber: vacation edition

view all comments

user1: they're really just the definition of no thoughts behind the eyes

user2: it's crazy cause we all know you have to be smart to drive an f1 car and she has a literal degree in architecture but they are always in the most insane situations ever

charles_leclerc: that's my private jet don't call me dumb

yourusername: *rented, dumbass

liked by maxverstappen1

user3: they're friendship goals like perfect example of platonic soulmates and male and female friendship

arthurleclerc: so like what does a man need to do for a feature on your instagram?

yourusername: soz arth, step ur aesthetic up x

user4: oh to be besties with an f1 driver

user5: wait so like all the leclercs and their gfs went on this holiday, right?

user6: yeah arthur’s and lorenzo’s gfs have posted about being there

user5: so it’s kinda muggy that y/n refused to post the girls?

user6: not really she’s posted with the girls loads i think y’all just want an excuse to be mad at her

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 1,231,907 others

charles_leclerc: summer spent with the best people

view all comments

user8: no y/n ....

user9: did yall see that tweet about the girl who met y/n in corsica when charles left her stranded on the beach to walk home on her own

user8: what ???

joristrouche: love you brother

charles_leclerc: best mate

user10: the vibes have shifted, the atmosphere is weird and the absence of y/n is the centre of it

user11: i fear i've seen this film before and y/n is defo getting iced out because charles in back in a relationship

user12: noooooo i thought he'd matured past that after the last time he fucked y/n off for a girlfriend

user13: babes please stop expecting so much from men

liked by yourusername

pierregasly: you look sunburnt calmar, did you leave it at home cause y/n isn't there to remind you?

charles_leclerc: she's here and i have been putting it on the sun just has it out for me

yourusername: i tried pierre, believe me

user14: well this is fucking awkward

user15: charles is not beating the allegations of forgetting about y/n while in a relationship LOL

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,034,667 others

maxverstappen1: simply lovely to win my home race again. the orange army never disappoint and i'm so thankful for all the support here this weekend

view all comments

user20: call me a conspiracy theorist BUT he thanked the orange army and the support separately i.e. Y/N Y/LN

user21: now you bitches usually jump to conclusions, but i'm hearing you this time

martingarrix: next set just gonna be super max on a two hour loop

maxverstappen1: i'll be there

user22: i'm sorry i'm new here why is y/n being in max's garage such a big deal? who is she? (gen.)

user23: y/n is charles' best friend, they've known each other since childhood and she's supported him through all levels of karting and single-seaters. though they haven't interacted too much in the public eye, max and y/n have known each other for as long as charles and max have. charles is a bit notorious for dumping y/n to the side for his girlfirend any time he's in a relationship and being inseparable once he's single again. after he ALLEGEDLY ditched her at a beach in corsica over the summer, y/n hasn't been seen with him or interacting with him online and was then in max's garage.

user24: maybe i'm messy but i genuinely want max and y/n to be together

yourusername: the red bull catering was defo worth breaking the cost cap

maxverstappen1: you're welcome any time

user25: can someone please check charles' pulse

landonorris: he looked like a cartoon with steam coming out of his ears earlier

user26: LANDO WHAT?

user27: tbf i think that's just a general side effect of driving the ferrari

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 542,987 others

yourusername: hard ball or soft serve

view all comments

user28: in my professional shadow identification opinion, i have deduced that it is in fact max verstappen

user29: ur so delusional (i believe you)

charles_leclerc: so that's who you've been getting our vanilla and chocolate cones with

yourusername: i'm not entertaining this argument over the internet charles you know where i live

liked by maxverstappen1

user30: she's so much better than me i'd rip him a new asshole right here right now

arthurleclerc: please come to dinner on sunday, carla can't come and i don't wanna fifth wheel plsssssss y/n

yourusername: sorry chickie i've already got plans but give mama my love

arthurleclerc: noooooo what could be better than mama's sunday lunch

yourusername: i promise i love those dinners but i've had enough experience seventh wheeling you guys and would love time with someone who loves me for me

liked by maxverstappen1

user31: yall i feel like i'm in the family group chat in this comment section this feels illegal to see

user32: max is so sly with the comments he's liking but that's MY petty king

f1

liked by yourusername, alexalbon and 1,304,783 others

tagged: maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc

f1: oops. charles leclerc takes championship leader max verstappen and himself out of the race at the first corner. the two did not mince their words, verstappen saying: "i tried to stay out of trouble but trouble came to me"

view all comments

user33: the way i RAN to twitter

user34: i'm not a verstappen fan but that quote goes so hard

user35: i'm all for leaving the drivers' personal lives alone but lord the tea is piping and sky cutting to y/n in max's garage? OOP

user36: no cause someone at sky has been watchign too much drive to survive because putting "charles' childhood friend" on her name banner as she's in max's garage was pure cinema

user37: charles be chatting mad shit for the man at fault

user38: leclerc drove into verstappen and perez and thought he'd manage to get out of the blame again LOL he's such a joker

user39: i think it's a good thing that y/n is skipping that dinner

user40: the way charles' gf wasn't even there this weekend and he was clearly looking for y/n in the garage

user41: the drama is too much for me to keep up with

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 603,487 others

yourusername: only 16 years in the making but we finally got a clue

view all comments

user42: i'm going into cardiac arrest

maxverstappen1: finally now i can comment freely about my unbelievably sexy, smart and hilarious girlfriend who i love and defo haven't pined over for ten years

yourusername: awwwww maxy, if it makes you feel better i've liked you for that long as well

user43: hmmmm idk this all seems a bit fake

yourusername: babes i still fancied him when he was a lanky, spotty teenager

arthurleclerc: i can confirm this

user44: the way y/n was always so nice and constantly hyping charles and his gf in their comments ... where's charles

user45: tbf she is dating his rival

user44: oh please we all know they never hated each other and have been good friends for years, charles is just being petty

danielricciardo: never thought i'd see the day when max would grow some balls and finally ask you out

yourusername: i thought you were meant to be some great wing man, i didn't see you helping

danielricciardo: i didn't want to get ran over by charles, no thank you

user46: i'm so sad i want bestie charles and y/n back

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, martingarrix and 1,409,875 others

maxverstappen1: some girls might want to ride a ferrari but mine wants to ride a red bull

view all comments

user47: THE CAPTION? THIS MAN IS SO UNHINGED

user48: mad max returns and in the form of shady instagram captions

yourusername: but you didn't even let me drive :(

maxverstappen1: babe i love you but you don't have a license and that's a very expensive car

user49: wait don't make me depressed didn't charles say in an interview ages ago that he was going to teach y/n to drive? did this never happen?

yourusername: sorry to ruin your day but i'm still illegal on the road

landonorris: so no photo credits? i watched you guys kiss for so long to get that shot

yourusername: i didn't hear you complaining on the day

maxverstappen1: let him be lonely in peace

landonorris: that's really not the save you think it is but thanks mate

user50: i am so happy that y/n is happy but the way charles can't be happy for her relationship like she always is for me is so sad to me

user51: i get that the charles and y/n situ is sad but she's clearly happy with max leave them be

fin.

note: hope you enjoyed my love, i hope this was kinda what you were envisioning, i'm happy with it but would be up for a part two if people want it lol xx

[neteyamslovrr]

KXANI - pt4

summary: you have never fit in with the scientists, but on the night jake was lost in the forest so were you. staying with the people was your one true dream, yet when you are anything but welcome and jake get's to experience the people. you find yourself seeking comfort in tsu'tey

contents: 2.4k words, fem!avatar reader angst, lots of angst, reader is upset, tsu'tey is stupid, grace redemption arc, avatar 2009, tsu'tey not being as ooc LMAO

authors note: sorry it took so long y'all, ya girl has been working her ass off trying not to fail, also soz in advance for the angst. and if ur tag didn't work L idk how to fix that (i love u all) tara i see u🧍‍♀️

all parts - next part

┌────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────┐

Jake woke from his link ready to harass you with a million questions. As the link pod opened he was already sitting up.

“Y/N! Are you going to explain why Tsu’tey was about to slit my throat cause of you?” Jake was wide-eyed and furious. He hopped himself back into his wheelchair so he could speak to you without yelling across the shuttle.

“What? What do you mean?” You were beyond confused. Tsu’tey did what? For you?

“He came up to me yelling about some shit! That I disrespected you and that I’d be better dead! Had his knife at me and everything!” Grace had walked into the commotion immediately taking action between you two yelling colleagues.

“Woah, woah, woah. Ok calm down before we lose another scientist.” She put her hands between the space between you and made space between the two of you.

“I didn’t tell Tsu’tey to do that! I have no idea why he acted like that.” Anxiety was cursing through your body as you switched between the fuming Jake and the confused Grace. Why did Tsu’tey do this? Was it to spite you? To get a rise out of Jake?

“You obviously told him something!” He exclaimed throwing his arms in the air. Grace looked at you for confirmation, but you were persistently shaking your head.

“No. No! I just talked about being a scientist. That’s all.” Jake scoffed at you as Grace’s features grew even more concerned.

“Oh yeah, because the life of a scientist is totally enough to be THREATENED BY A WARRIOR. For fuck sake Y/N!” You were cowering from the man below you, you wanted to escape desperately, his fierce glares and Grace’s pained ones were all too much.

“Enough. We have research to log. Hurry up. Go!” Grace pulled Jake’s chair away as she stared at you to walk away from Jake. And that’s exactly what you did.

Rushing to the bunk bed you shared with Norm you climbed up and planted harshly onto the rough sheets. Curling yourself up into a ball, you tried to slow down your fast breathing as thoughts were rapidly entering your mind. You had to ask Tsu’tey.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Rushing through Hometree you couldn’t find him anywhere. You had rummaged through ever crevice of the tree and you were left empty-handed.

Why would Tsu’tey do this? You understood he hated Jake, but you thought he’d at least be understanding. So why was he so adamant on ‘a dead Jakesully, is a good Jakesully.’ You had to understand his actions, you had to.

Your fast pace and concentrated look made the people give you a mountain of odd looks. You were growing frustrated, why was he nowhere to be seen?

Not being aware of your surroundings you ran headfirst into a firm body. There Neytiri stood looking down at you slightly as she tilted her head in confusion. “Why are you stomping around like a child?”

“Oh!...I’m looking for Tsu’tey, have you seen him?” Neytiri scanned the room before her eyes went back to you.

“I believe he’s at the river, not in his best mood.” Frowning at her comment, you wondered what had upset him so much.

“Thankyou.” Bowing at her before you started rushing through the forest. You didn’t intend on running there but it just seemed to occur as your breath grew shaky and your heart beat faster.

You had now learnt your way through the forest. The endless vegetation no longer taking you for a loop. Now you knew exactly how to get to the man you demanded answers from.

There he sat at the edge of the riverbed. He was calm, peaceful. He stared up into the sky letting out a relaxed sigh.

Watching silently a seed of the tree of souls landed on his shoulder, he watched as it flew in front of him turning his gaze into the direction of you, a frown growing on his face.

“Why are you here? Go back.” He flicked his hand as his voice rumbled, he sounded angry, it wasn’t like you heard before though, it was directly at you.  

“I need to talk to you. I was looking everywhere” Your breath still shaky as you panted out your words etching closer to him. He grimaced at your state as he contemplated his response.

“You shouldn’t have.” It was sharp and hurtful. He meant to say it like that, but watching the way your relieved expression faltered into a hurt one pained him.

“Well…you shouldn’t have threatened Jake.” You didn’t imagine you would ever step up to the tall man in front of you. But recently you felt as if he was someone you could share your concerns with, even those concerning him.

“Who are you to question my actions demon.” His lanky arms crossed against his toned body as his stature grew taller. His presence becoming more intimidating as his nostrils flared in anger.

“You upset him Tsu’tey! And you upset me.” He faltered at your words, it was a split second your saw guilt in his eyes before it flashed away again. You had never seen him so upset, he was growing more and more irritated by the second. It felt as if you were getting whiplash compared to his affection towards you yesterday.

“Why should I care what a demon feels?” He felt pained, and so did you. His words were growing harsher as was his glare. You started to back away from him, regretting ever opening your mouth.

“Well… I thought that you might of cared about me.” It was a quiet confession. One that as soon as you let it out you wanted to take it back immediately. To Tsu’tey it felt like a blade stabbing him in his heart as it escaped your mouth. His harsh glare faltered once again as he blinked rapidly. He did care. Eywa, he cared so fucking much. That’s why he was doing this. He can’t let his heart overrule his mind.

“And why would I think that? You are a demon. Bringing nothing but destruction and death.” You felt yourself shrinking as you watched him etch closer and closer to you.

“then why did you go after Jake then? If you don’t care about me!” It felt as if your heart was a pane of glass that was smashed against the floor.

He had no excuse for his behaviour towards Jake. He was angry, he was angry at Jake for treating you badly. He took your words and used them as a weapon towards Jake. He was angry because he cared about you.

“Such a demon thing to think the world revolves around you!” His voice was booming, he was seeing red but not with anger, it was his heart bleeding. “Go back. You don’t belong here.”

He saw it on your face. The slow blink to get rid of your tears. The shake in your chest and the way your swallowed any words you might of retaliated back. He saw the way you looked at him with betrayal.

“What was yesterday then?” Your voice cracked as you stared up at the stone faced man.

“A mistake.” Your lips quivered as you sucked your cheeks. He felt that familiar pang, but it wasn’t a pang anymore. It was a thrash.

He watched you turn with such speed that you almost toppled over. He watched you leave as fast as you came. He heard your sobs rack through the forest as you walked further and further away.

Soon they were washed away by the sound of rain pouring down. A sound he would usually cherish as it calmed him. But it no longer felt calming, it was deafening.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Running back to Hometree you were tear-stricken. Your throat ached and so did your heart. You knew it was rich of you to assume he enjoyed your company, but it felt so nice to be appreciated.

Your disarray brought on the stares of hundreds including Grace’s. While she may have not been the kindest to you and she was aware of that. She was also aware how she underestimated you and dismissed you as your contributions were nothing compared to Jake’s. Yet, this morning she realised just how much she had underestimated you. You had cracked open the shell of Tsu’tey and she respected you for it.

So, when she saw you dishevelled, she couldn’t deny her concern.

“Y/N? What the hell happened?” Her fingers gripped onto your shoulder to bring you back down.

“Nothing. I just…I am alright.” She gave you the look.

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“NO! No. Please just let me go.” Grace sighed giving you a pat on the back.

“C’mon kid, somethings bothering you.”

“Why would you care? You never did before?” Grace knew this was coming. She knew that she also deserved it.

“You’re crying. That’s why.” You scoffed at her, swatting her hand off you.

“I don’t need your pity. I just wanted your acknowledgement. And…the one person who was giving me that, has decided it was a mistake. So, I’d just appreciate if you don’t make that ‘mistake’ either.”

“Are you talking about Tsu’tey?” Grace was growing more concerned, she didn’t even realise the two of you had developed a special bond.  

“I’ll see you in the lab, Dr. Augustine.” You spat at her, venom dripping off your tongue as you rushed off in the same direction you came, apologising to the people you had barged into in your fit of despair.

What had you done to deserve this? Were you truly unworthy of friendship? Were you imagining all those moments with Tsu’tey. The intimate silences, the small touches, the deep conversations and the concern he had for you. Where had they gone? Did he hit his head the night before?

Or maybe it was just as he said. You were a parasite. Maybe he never felt any of those things, you just took them from him. Was this all that you were? A parasite in a fake body.

But this body was most dear to you. You felt so connected to the people and the nature. What if it was just to Tsu’tey. Had you been greedy? Been like every other sky-person and taken this worlds beauty for your own benefit.

Tears fell as you were consumed by your thoughts. You were so conflicted. How did you belong nowhere? Not with humans, not with Na’vi and not with anyone.

Disrupted from your thoughts you heard two voices in the distance. Rushing to hide up in a tree you saw the bodies of the voices.  

There was Jake and Neytiri, walking close together, talking as they planned there hunt. You watched the way they grazed upon each other. The way they would look at each other so lovingly, sharing giggles and touches. Waves of jealously crashed upon you.  

You watched them both and couldn’t help but imagine it was you and Tsu’tey. That it was you two sharing glances and loving touches.  

Your heart ached as you continued to watch them from afar. Your throat was tight the more they bonded, the more they loved. The ache in your heart was strong, the sting in your eyes was harsh as your fists were clenched.

At one point your feelings overtook you, because you were no longer fixated on the couple in front of you but the quiet words that left Neytiri’s mouth. “A clean kill…you are ready.”  

You watched the two share a look, a look of knowing and a look of accomplishment. You couldn’t help but feel your chest thrash, he was ready?

Jake was becoming Omaticaya while you are being thrown out by the future Olo’eyktan. This wasn’t fair! This wasn’t right! Your mind was foggy, and your heart stung. You had to leave. You couldn’t stay watching him succeeded right in front of you.

Leaving quietly, you returned to Hometree to lay in your hammock. You had enough of this day, it was best if you could just end it now.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Tsu’tey laid in his hammock wide awake. The ache in his heart hadn’t gone way like he thought it would. He couldn’t love a demon, what would that make him? A traitor to his kind.

But the way you smiled, the way you cheered at the most minute things, the way you continued to love everything about him while he gave you nothing in return. He didn’t deserve the kindness you had bestowed upon him.

He longed for you. He longed to hold you and tell you he was sorry. That he confronted Jake because he was angry for you. That it was never a mistake, he loved every minute with you.

He wanted you so badly that it ached. That his heart felt bruised in your absence. Tsu’tey couldn’t help but think of your soft fingers wrapped around his torso. He couldn’t help but dream of that flight with you. He couldn’t help but mourn that it was the last time he’d ever feel your touch, or feel your love.

It was his own doing. He pushed you away. But he craved your touch and he craved your smile. He craved every single part of you, but he can’t have you.

He can’t feel this way. He is not allowed to feel this way. He has a mate, he has a duty, and he has people to serve. A demon can’t take that from him no matter how much he wanted that demon.

The sobs of your broken heart rung in his ears as he tried to fall asleep, but they didn’t escape him. He just wanted to forget this. Forget you.

He knew that you were hurting. He knew that the sky-people also hurt you just like they hurt him. He knew that he hurt you too.

 He knew that you longed to be a Omaticaya, that you wanted nothing more to be able to provide and be useful.

He could see it in the way you paid attention to every syllable that exited his mouth. It was admirable how much you wanted to provide. He saw himself in you the way you wanted to serve. It made him recoil in on himself.

To be similar to a demon like you. But you weren’t a demon. Eywa, you were a beauty, a kind soul, the purest of spirits. You reminded him of a sacred seed. But you couldn’t be, and you would never be.

You weren’t Navi, you weren’t one of the people. You never could be with the way he wanted you.

└────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────┘

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(sorry if i didn't get u, or if it didn't work)

reblogs + replies appreciated!! i'll give u a big ole smooch and a imaginary teddy bear