#but i wanted to share this first

[tryingtimi]

A Wishing God

To break my absence, I leave here a possible ending of IQRUS. It's fun to explore all the things I was just contemplating yet. This piece also started as an attempt for one of the Flash Fiction Friday prompts, Expanding Horizons, but it ended up more.

DANE AND AUVA | ANGST | IQRUS ENDING EXPLORATION | WC: 2,476

Water rumbled quietly. The waves had reached out as enormous fingers, stretching forward in the distance. They licked the solid metal, swallowing more and more of it, almost touching Dane’s feet as he sat on the ground. It wouldn’t have mattered, though. He was wet already, anyway.

The Aquor Sector’s ankle high water level’s surface let him see the solid floor under him.

He couldn’t move his muscles as he sat in the liquid. Mind filled up, overflowed with everything he wanted to keep it in the pit of his existence. He came here for a reason, yet he wasn’t able to get further than tiptoeing to the edge of the Trashland and finally let his legs to give up under him. All the turquoise, slightly translucent hell surrounded him in the moment he reached the ground. His pants soaked through immediately, his mechanic leg getting tighter around his thighs as liquid terror seeped into the fittings. He knew he should have been afraid of the mutation.

But he couldn’t care less about that.

The day of him getting the Caelus Sector offered modifications burnt into his mind. All the serums, plays with his genes, protection he got. Immunity for the top of humanity, they dared to say.

All the people playing God up there.

He tried to think about pulling his pulled-up legs closer to his chest, but he wasn’t able to do that. His body wasn’t under his control now. Fright ruled his blood flow, all of his big and little muscles, his mind. There was nothing he could do about it, only acknowledge it. He was paralyzed. By shock or trauma, he couldn’t tell anymore.

The waves pulled back, slowly making space between Dane and them. The touch of the liquid swayed around his lower body. Every tiny movement of it made something twitch inside him, building up a feeling he didn’t know how to control now or ever.

He wasn’t planning to move, however.

Even if he could have, he was sure he would have been just sitting in the water, watching the far horizon of endless waves and light. There was nothing at the other end. No land, no building, nothing.

Tender swaying and quiet splashing signaled Auva’s arrival.

She didn’t say a thing, only stood beside him for a second, then slowly sat down. He lowered his head, letting it drop between his shoulders. He couldn’t bear the sight of that infinite horizon anymore.

“What now?”, he asked eventually. He wanted to squeeze his eyes together, but he couldn’t. Dane wanted to stay aware of Auva’s presence by his peripheral vision.

After everything had been done, he wasn’t ready to just drown in his darkness, alone.

Because he was like that. Alone. Finally, and completely. No Adran, no Eran, not even Icharo. So much good for one evil to fall. And so, their most dire problem hasn’t been solved by the sacrifices. Was it really worth it then?

Auva shifted, and Dane could see her hand reaching over to touch the waves that came back to them again.

“Now, you must become a Guardian. Properly.” She tenderly caressed the surface, her fingers parting the water ever so slightly. It didn’t leave a mark, only its echo on the froth. “That would be the ideal. That would be the end of my task. But you must choose it willingly. “ She paused for a moment. “And I am not forcing anything.”

Dane exhaled. A long, stretched out breath. Then, after closing his eyes for a second, he opened them again and looked at Auva.

She didn’t force him to choose. She should have, yet she didn’t. A strange, heavy weight loomed over Dane, as he sat under the open sky and watched this figure beside him who he still couldn’t fully fit into his mind. Into his heart, yes, but not into his mind.

Dane wasn’t sure if he wanted to be something like her. He had no idea what that would mean. Icharo… Lero was her kind too. Whatever they were truly, they had powers he didn’t know he wanted to deal with.

He still felt his mind numbing ever so slightly, only just thinking about what he went through and saw.

Save them.

Adran’s last words bubbled up from his tensed muscles into his mind, showing him the memory of their last moments. His brother. His savior.

Everyone’s savior.

Dane’s left eye twitched a little. He wasn’t the one who should be a Guardian of people. Ionera should be safe after Adran’s sacrifice. They won, didn't they?

He snorted at this thought.

Winning. There was no winner in matters like these, was there? And whatever he was ready to do, one question still remained unanswered: if he was ever ready to take up the burden of making things right so his brother’s death won’t be for vain?

“So be it,” he said, his voice even. “How does it work?”

Auva nodded ever so slightly, an almost reluctant acknowledgement. Then, she pulled out a little glass bottle from the tiny case attached to her belt.

Something gold swayed within.

“You need to drink this first. Everything else is up to you after then.”

“What’s this?”, Dane asked as she handed him the bottle. He hasn't taken it yet.

“A substance that flows in my body and keeps it moving.”

His eyelids fluttered closed for a moment as he gulped.

“So, it’s your blood.”

Auva glanced at the far horizon beside them, lost in thought, before she guided her gaze back at Dane and the liquid.

“That’s an accurate conclusion, yes.”

“And you want me to drink it?” He heard it the first time too, but he needed to make sure. And if Auva didn’t quite understand why he needed this confirmation, she hid it well. As well as any human would have.

“It’s not about what I want, Dane. The world depends on it. Your world.”

The water reached for them again, swaying closer and closer, almost reaching his legs. And the gold swayed with it in the bottle. Auva didn’t move her hands, yet the liquid twirled and twisted. Its metallic shine absorbed the light around itself.

Dane could feel the faintest unease in his mind.

A familiar feeling at this point. Something that made him sick.

He forced his gaze at Auva.

At her, who was the bearer of this thing. This something that changed his world at its core. This thing that those carried in their physical bodies too that killed his loved ones and doomed humanity.

Dane curled up his toes in his fully soaked shoes. His hands were white from all the force he was gripping them together.

Auva was one of them, yet she was so much different. She was here to help. She did not ask anything from him. She let him choose.

Choose something he always strived to reach. Saving everyone. Saving Ionera. Protecting the ruins of their world.

Dane wasn’t the right one for this responsibility, but he was the only one left for this world. So, with heavy hands, he slowly took the bottle, closed his eyes and snapped his head back so he could swallow everything.

Then, he let his hands fall back down and nervously waited.

Waited.

And waited.

Nothing has felt different. The water still licked his sides, he might not have been as cold as before, but other than that; nothing.

“How long does it take to begin?”

Auva smiled. He didn’t know how he could know this with his eyes closed, but he did. For certain.

“ᴏᴘᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇs,” she murmured, her voice sounding like a… prism. It belonged to her yet echoed on a thousand other.

He slowly lifted his eyelids, seeing nothing different over the horizon then before. A touch of early morning mist, endless water and small waves… in a room.

An intricate, vast room that contained everything he called his world. A room made of a prism. The walls reflected the sky, expanded horizons before Dane. All the layers of the images he’d seen opened up for him; the clouds’, the sky’s, the water’s and everything’s outlines splitted into hundreds of their own reflection, into shapes and colors he’d never seen before. Dane could see, feel and hear everything around himself. His vision, hearing and ability to feel erupted and expanded into something that made him be aware of all the happenings of the world. To feel every person and every living thing as if they were a part of him too.

Dane became the beating heart of Aetherius.

And with that, his core fright from before — that was so deeply a part of him he couldn’t acknowledge it fully — towards death evaporated into nothing. He knew he won’t die anymore. That he can’t die. Fear and death turned into mere concepts in his mind.

Then, he turned to Auva.

It wasn’t her true name. That wasn’t something that could have been spoken out loud. Dane stick with it, though.

The air wobbled around her figure that did not wore the features he was used to seeing on her. Golden bronze skin without a face, although Dane knew it wasn’t a skin exactly since it flowed in her physical form as well. Quills cascaded around her shoulders, blanketing her upper body, a featherless wing-like extension growing out of her back as a cape would.

He could use only mortal words to describe her, even though she was so much beyond that comprehension.

“ɪ ᴡɪsʜ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪꜰᴜʟ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ,” whispered Dane. His voice similarly echoing in a thousand other as well. He wasn’t sure if he was capable of feeling anything at all, yet he knew he would feel awe if he would be his self from before.

Auva smiled. Dane could tell she was, no matter her faceless form.

“ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ.” Her voice still ethereal, the language they spoke celestial, if it was a language at all.

“Is ᴛʜɪs ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs sᴇɴsᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ?” Dane needed to ask. There were things that did not ease with his ascension.

“ɪ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ Gᴜᴀʀᴅɪᴀɴ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀsᴛ ᴡʜᴏ’ᴅ ʙᴇᴇɴ Mᴀᴅᴇ, ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴍᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴇʀᴄᴇɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴍᴏsᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴜs. sᴏ, ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪs ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇɴsᴇ?”

What was he sensing? How could he describe it? He should have been overwhelmed, but he could not experience life as before. Eternal things laid before him, more than his world only. He won a glimpse of the other worlds that had burnt into his mind; people with pointy ears, monster-like creatures, black suns, violet moons and so, so much more. He’d seen a fraction of all the different sides of that infinite prism that his world reflected it too. He couldn’t be sure what he sensed actually.

He knew what he should have reacted to, though.

“ᴇᴍᴘᴛɪɴᴇss.” That wasn’t it exactly. “ꜰᴜʟʟɴᴇss ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴍᴘᴛɪɴᴇss ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅs ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜɪs ᴏɴᴇ. sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴏɴᴇs. ᴜɴᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴏɴᴇs. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ sᴇɴsᴇ ᴍʏ ɢʀɪᴇꜰ ᴛᴏᴡᴀʀᴅs Aᴅʀᴀɴ ᴀɴᴅ Eʀᴀɴ’s ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ. ɪ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴏᴜʀɴ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ, Aᴜᴠᴀ. ɪ ᴅᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ. ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴍᴇ.”

Some kind of wrongness nested in his core also. A plague, a reversed black hole. Aetherius’ doom, the dimensional tear that let the terrors pour into his world.

It had been hidden from him, but now he could sense it. The calling of the ocean, deep under all the monsters and darkness; the portal slumbered there, out of the reach of any mortal. But not his, not anymore. And so he could have a chance to extinguish it. Or begin to do that.

Auva nodded, excitement reflecting in the vibration of her magnetic field around her.

“ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴀs ᴀ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪꜰ ɪᴛ’s ᴛʀᴀɢɪᴄ, ᴛʜᴀɴ sᴛᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴅɪᴠɪɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟᴍɪɢʜᴛʏ.”

“ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ.”

“ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴇɴ,” She extended her hand. “ɪᴛ’s ꜰᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴀᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛᴀᴛᴇ ɪs ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʀʏ” And with that, Dane’s senses began to shrink. Whatever he experienced, it did not leave him, only made him more and more anxious. He couldn’t put his finger on what he’d seen in the next second, when he stopped feeling everything.

Minute by minute, he gained back that core terror of death and the dreadful woe that nested in his bones. He got back his grief and his mourning. His ability to remember and love. His focus wasn’t on all living things anymore, he wasn’t everywhere all at once. And he saw Auva only as a woman sitting waist deep in the water.

“How could this happen? I thought being a Guardian is a permanent task.”

Auva smiled and glanced at the bottle in Dane’s hand. He mirrored her movement, realizing he wasn’t paralyzed anymore, even though all his grave emotions only multiplied in his chest.

He furrowed his brows when he saw the golden blood still sway in the bottle. He could have sworn that he swallowed all.

“It was. Before you’ve changed the rules of turning into one. What I’ve said previously was something I only came to know the moment you made up your mind. And so now the rules are letting Guardians choose after they experience what it's like to be one. You’ve created a new concept. A new era. Change is never immediate from now on. It needs time and so you could have only one drop to begin with.”

Dane tightened his hand around the bottle.

“It sounds like I’ve modified space and time in a blink of an eye. That is something only…” God should be able to do, Auva. He stopped himself before he could finish his sentence like that. He couldn’t deny it anymore. He was one of them for a short period of time. If it was a short period of time at all, since time itself lost its meaning for him in that state. Or that’s how he could describe it if he attempted to put it into words.

A soft touch on his hand made Dane shiver slightly. He glanced at Auva’s tender gaze that was full of comfort, yet reflected something deep that he couldn’t really grasp. As if the cosmos itself had been captured in those eyes.

“It must be a lot.”

It was. Dane couldn’t deny that either. But there was also one thing that stayed with him the most after the experience. Something that made him confident enough to hold Auva’s eyes.

“I’ll take the role temporarily. I’ve seen the tear, so I need the power to unravel it, to find it again and close it. But as soon as we’ve reached that, I’ll find someone who’s worth enough to take this role properly,” he said and with that, he flipped his hand to took Auva’s in his too.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[demaparbat-hp]

Arsonist's Lullaby

[fumifooms]

Omg guys he just genuinely likes bugs and mollusks and critters 😭💘💔 Forced to noble when he just wanna crouch and watch things skitter in the dirt…

[ministarfruit]

"...why would I become a monster?"

[wizard-laundry]

the text originally read "EGADS! DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME?"

[blursbian]

Deadpool & Wolverine Honda Odyssey fight slowed gifset 2

[andoutofharm]

If anyone wants to purchase an esim to provide internet access to Palestinians but haven't yet, you can use my Nomad referral code LYDI79TR for $3 off your first purchase! With this code esims are as low as $6, and this is a way you can immediately help someone in Gaza who might otherwise not be able to make contact with their loved ones.

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edit to add: if this code isn’t working for you, try codes NOMADCNG or BACKPACKNOMAD !

[raepliica]

they're down to their last cigarette so they're sharing✨️✨️

[aliteralsemicolon]

Coming out from Spencer's shower to find him sitting in the living room watching some documentary.

Walking around him to ruffle his hair before walking across him to take a seat next to him, but he grabs your hand and pulls you into his lap.

So you're cuddling him, back to chest, as he continues to watch his documentary. It's in a foreign language so you don't understand it, but that's okay because you're not interested anyway.

Taking Spencer's hand in yours and massaging his palms, tracing the lines on his hands, toying with his fingers lightly. You plant a gentle kiss on his palm and he closes his fingers in a fist, trapping your fingers in his hand.

He brings your hand to his face and returns the kiss on your hand as you turn to face him. Another kiss lands on your forehead, then on the bridge of your nose and finally he tilts your chin up to peck your lips.

He kisses you again and rests his forehead against yours. Both of your eyes are locked in on each others and the look you share is so domestic, so in love.

His gaze is so intense it causes genuine butterflies in your belly and goosebumps form on your skin. You can't hold back a smile. He has that same smile and it makes you shy. You break eye contact and bury your head in his neck, pulling him in a hug.

It makes him laugh and he wraps his arms around you, planting more kisses on the side of your head. He shifts too fast for you to comprehend, laying you down on the couch and sitting up.

You whine and try to hug him again but he grabs your hands, pinning them to the side of your head as he hovers above you and kisses your cheek.

"I want to see you." His voice is playful, but his eyes are begging you.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[courtmartialme]

redraws of the poster of The Lobster for my 03 AU where roy ends up crossing the gate to our world with the brothers, gets involved with a different riza, gets painfully aware of what he could have had if his head wasn't too far up his own ass, and gets punched in the face at some point

[uncanny-tranny]

Little things adults and older people can do to help younger people and children feel included, safe, and respected as an equal individual:

Ask before touching the young person - even for hugs. Ask before you take pictures of them, and let them see photographs of them before they are printed or sent to others (even family).

Apologize when you are wrong

Ask for a young persons thoughts on a subject, then engage with them after they have spoken

Demonstrate behaviour you want to see from them (see: apologizing). Say "excuse me," say "thank you," say "please" to them

Validate their feelings, even if they don't know how to express them just yet

Remember that this is the first time they've been alive, and that you've had way longer to "figure it out"

These are some things I wish other adults remembered when engaging with young folks. We so often forget what childhood felt like and how unfair it all was because we were often awarded freedoms as adults that we never had as children. These kids are equal to adults, and they deserve the same courtesy, respect, kindness, and understanding we give to other adults.

[mienar]

good morning bakery 🍞🥖

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[polarades]

Anxiety

Fanart of @canisalbus' characters! I love these two a lot, I hope I did them justice!

[gentil-minou]

I am not an artist but I never want to forget this.

I am not a number.

I am a whole planet.

-Khalil