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rosemary-morgan · 1 year

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Cor Leonis x F.Reader (x Yandere!Drautos) - Traitor (Part 1)

(Pictures/GIF are not mine! Found on Pinterest/Google/tumblr - Collage made by myself.)

Many thanks to @fangirl-ramblings 🖤 she has been beta reading for me 🌹

Warning: Yandere!Drautos, obsessive behavior, angst, mention of death

Summary: You were supposed to be his, but instead Cor Leonis had found happiness with you. Drauto's obsession with you is getting worse by the day, until finally he would walk over dead bodies to get you.

Cor Leonis x F.Reader (x Yandere!Drautos) - Traitor (Part 1)

"I would prefer not to let you go at all, darling." Y/N looked up at Cor as her fingers gently caressed his bare chest. They had made love in these sheets for hours, and now they lay exhausted next to each other, with Y/N more than happy to have Cor all to herself for once. It often happened that Cor was away on a mission for days or even weeks at a time, all because of his work as a king's guard, and so she wouldn't get to see him. She could never be sure if she would reunite with him, because what he was doing was not without risks. "I know. But I have no choice but to go." Lovingly, Cor stroked through her hair as he looked at her pretty face. "Hey... don't give me that sad look. It's only for a short time and you know I don't take risks with my life. Don't worry." It was so easy to say, but Y/N was afraid of the day when someday someone would show up at her door and give her the terrible news that Cor was dead. Y/N buried her face against his neck and Cor could clearly hear her sigh, whereupon he put his strong arms around her body and just held her. Of course, he was afraid of not being able to return to her, but he was part of the King's Guard and he led the soldiers who fought for Lucis to help protect the people of this kingdom. But sometimes Cor wished he could withdraw from this great responsibility and enjoy life together with Y/N. So far, they had not even found the time to travel together. He wanted to be able to offer the young woman so much more, but his work took a lot out of him. "And tonight there will be a small celebration at the royal palace. You've been looking forward to that for weeks, Y/N." The young woman nodded, smiled a bit, and Cor was very happy to see that. He was also looking forward to it, especially as he couldn't wait to dance with her. Oh, he was very proud to call such a wonderful woman as Y/N his girlfriend. She was smart, beautiful and had her heart in the right place. Sure, some envious glances would be drawn to her, especially since Y/N was a lot younger than he was and one or the other wondered why she hadn't chosen a man of the same age. But the answer was simple. Cor Leonis was the man she loved. He was loving, tender and treated her as she should be treated; with the greatest respect that one had to show a woman. Fifteen years separated them. But what difference did that make? Age did not matter, as is well known, and Cor really did not look his age. Apart from that he was fit and well trained. "I got myself a wonderful dress and I'm sure you'll like it as much as I do!" "Mhm~ I'm looking forward to taking it off of you again" Cor purred, gently kissing her lips. The young woman smirked in amusement, looking into his wonderful blue eyes. "I'm sure that can be arranged."

A few days later...

"Don't worry. I'll be returning home in a few days." With a clearly worried look, Y/N looked up at Cor and yet she nodded. She had absolute understanding for his situation, because in the end it was his job to take care of this kingdom. "If something happens, Drautos will be there to protect you." Titus Drautos; leader and instructor of the Kingsglaives, and an excellent fighter. Titus nodded at Cor, then glanced at the beautiful woman he had secretly desired for months like no other woman. But she was tied to someone else and she showed no interest in him. Actually, Titus had decided to accept this fact, but he found it very difficult. Every time he saw her, his lust and hunger for this woman increased immeasurably. "I miss you already, darling," she whispered and Cor could see the tears in her eyes. He shook his head gently as he smiled at her, taking her petite face in his strong yet gentle hands. "No one will stop me from returning to you," he whispered to her before kissing her soft lips. Y/N could count on Cor, but no one could really say what tomorrow would bring and somehow the feeling crept over her that something bad would happen in the near future. This feeling was so intense that it gave her a stomach ache and made her feel more than uncomfortable. "I have to go now, Y/N. I love you." "I love you too, Cor." A final farewell kiss was shared before Cor descended the steps in front of the royal estate. Before getting into his black car, he threw the young woman a warm smile, which she instantly returned. "Don't worry. Cor is a survivor." The young woman heard Drauto's words and yet she was not really persuaded by them. "I hope he will return to me this time as well." Drautos forced a smile, even though jealousy had him in a tight grip. "He will. Don't worry."

But in the days that followed, Insomnia was to meet a horrible fate. The heart of the city was attacked by Niflheim and many people lost their lives. "Y/N! Y/N!" Drautos strode through the corridors of the palace, looking for the young woman to help lead her to safety. What would happen to his king, or to his loyal companions, did not interest him. Y/N was the only one he wanted to keep safe. He rushed into one of the countless rooms and he was more than happy when he found her. "Drautos!" "What are you still doing here? You need to get out of here right now!" Even as he spoke, Drautos walked up to the dark-haired woman and gently grabbed her hand. "What's happening out there, Drautos?!" She was scared, you couldn't blame her, and you could hear it clearly in her voice. "Insomnia is under attack!" She instantly realized that King Regis was the target. And not only him, but also his followers were chosen as victims. "Regis... Oh my god! I have to get to them!" But Drautos prevented her from risking her life, for that was exactly what she would lose if she moved through the palace without an escort. "Please let me go, Drautos! I have to take care of the injured!" For that was the young woman's job. She was a nurse, a healer, who pursued her profession with great passion. "Be reasonable, Y/N! I promised Cor to protect you!" Cor! Where was he? Hopefully he was not near the capital, otherwise something might have happened to him as well, and losing him would not be something the young woman could handle. "Where is he, Drautos? Have you heard anything from him?" The captain sighed deeply. He hadn't heard from Cor, but this moment would give him a golden opportunity he didn't want to miss. He played with the idea of lying to Y/N. "Cor... Is... he fell, Y/N." His words were barely getting through to her and she didn't know what to say in response at first. She just stared at him with wide eyes and a thick lump forming in her throat. "He won't come back." "No... No, no, no! What are you saying?" The first tears wet her delicate skin as she realized what Drautos was telling her. Her Cor was supposed to be dead? No! This could not be! "Drautos! He can't be dead!" she cried out outraged, hitting the officer as hard as she could against his chest. Luckily his armor prevented the feeling of any pain but the young woman kept hitting, so Drautos finally grabbed her wrists and made her stop. She would only hurt herself. "Y/N! If we don't get out of here, you'll die too! Is that what you want?!" Y/N sobbed loudly, completely distraught and shocked that Cor was no longer alive. "Who tells such lies?! Cor doesn't just die for no reason!" So now she would never be able to lie in his arms again? Never again be able to feel his skin on hers? His kisses and his touches would only be a memory? "I just got this message a few minutes ago. The men who were on a mission with him can confirm it." "No... no, that can't be..." When the young woman made no move, Drautos grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but you're not going to die today either!" The young woman let the officer hug her, but his words gave her no comfort. How could she handle the death of her beloved Cor? Drautos looked at the young woman after he had moved away from her a bit. His hands still rested on her arms. "I gave Cor my word to protect you! And I will!" He reached for her hand and pulled her with him. If he had to, he would throw her over his shoulder to get her out of this building, but the young woman simply let Drautos lead her, because in the end, she didn't care what would happen to her. Drautos walked down the long corridor and in his mind things were happening that should not be. Things that should not be! He had already made the big mistake of lying to Y/N about Cor. Cor was still alive, Drautos was convinced of that, and he was on his way here to bring Y/N out of the capital. But Drautos was faster than the king's guard and may the gods forgive him, but he desired someone else's wife and this obsession was unbearable for him.

♦♦♦♦

Actually, she should get herself to safety. Yes, actually she should live on, but she just couldn't bring herself to leave Insomnia and without Cor, she didn't want to go anyway. She did not believe that he was dead. Y/N felt that he was still alive! And she knew he was on his way to her. But Drautos told her that Cor would not return. Why would he lie to her? During the whole car ride, she silently looked out the window and all felt pain as all the memories of her time together with Cor flooded her mind. Drautos drove on unperturbed, but every now and then, his eyes wandered over to her and he knew what he had done with his lie. But that was exactly how he wanted her to be, so that she would build trust in him, so that he would become the center in her shattered world and then, she would finally be his. Drautos was a patient man in many things, but as far as his passion for Y/N was concerned, it was a terrible enemy to his patience. "Where are we going?" "To Lestallum. There you will be safe!" Y/N said nothing in reply, for in the end she did not care. Not only had she lost Cor, but she had been driven from her home. By a power-hungry Niflheimer who was forcefully taking the kingdom of Lucis. The farther they went from Insomnia, the quieter it became. In Lestallum, there was no trace of the terrible attack on the kingdom. But the people in that city had felt the violent tremors and they were worried about the neighboring country. At some point Drautos brought the car to a halt, but Y/N made no move. Sighing, the officer turned to the beautiful woman and looked at her anxiously. "Come on, Y/N. You should rest and try to get some sleep. Do you want me to send for a doctor?" "No," was her curt reply, but she did not turn her gaze to him. Drautos sighed again, but got out of the car and went around to the passenger side to open the door for the young woman. When he held out his hand to her, she looked up at him and her expression was full of sadness. Her eyes swollen and red from the salty tears she had shed. "Let me be there for you, Y/N," he said in a soft voice and Y/N seemed to hesitate for a moment, but finally she grabbed his hand and got out of the car.

♦♦♦♦

"Sir! Over here, sir!" Cor was shocked by the violence reflected before his eyes. So many victims lay under the rubble and the only thing he could think about right now was Y/N and his king. "Where is the king? Is he safe?!" But Cor was disappointed in this regard. "He... he's dead, sir..." "My gods, no..." Cor sighed heavily, running his hand over his face and thus wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Goddammit! Those bastards!" It was hard to believe that King Regis was no longer alive. How could this have happened? Where were his bodyguards? Where was Drautos? Cor himself had not been able to be with him, for the king had sent him on a mission, and yet, Cor blamed himself terribly for that. For 29 years now, he had been a member of the King's Guard to protect his king, but today, on this fateful day, he had failed. "Where is Y/N? Have you taken her to safety?!" His concern for the young woman was enormous, for he had been unable to reach her by phone and he could only hope that she was not among the victims. "Sir, she went with Officer Drautos earlier!" Cor had no idea what Drautos had done and what his true intentions were regarding Y/N. "Do you have any idea where Drautos might have taken Y/N? Have you had a chance to speak with him?" "No, I'm sorry sir! Have you not tried to reach him by calling him?" "I can't get through to him or Y/N!" said Cor as he held up his smartphone a bit, but the wireless network was completely down. "When did they leave?" Cor put his smartphone back in his jacket pocket while waiting for more information from the soldier. "About an hour ago, sir!" A soft sigh slipped across Cor's lips when he heard that. Lestallum was not far from here and a safe place. There was nothing left for the commander to do but search Lestallum for her, and he hoped he would find her as soon as possible. In the meantime, Cor tried to reach the two of them by phone, but Insomnia was just one more dead zone. "Damn..." But before Cor would start searching for his girlfriend, he wanted to check on his king one last time and say goodbye. So he set himself in motion. "Take care of the injured! Make sure and look for any other survivors! Go!" "Sir! Yes, sir!"

♦♦♦♦

"I don't believe Cor is dead..." "I wish he were still alive, Y/N. But..." Drautos lied shamelessly to her face and it was getting easier for him, but she seemed convinced that Cor was still alive. "Y/N, you're exhausted and you've been through a lot. Why don't you go lie down? And I'll get you something to eat?" But Y/N wouldn't hear of it. She was far too upset to retire. "No, Drautos." "Okay." He headed for the door, and before leaving the room, he turned to her once more. "I'll be in the room next door if you need anything." With that, he left the young woman alone in the hotel room. The moment Drautos left the room, she burst into tears again. Her heart was bleeding because something inside her had died. How could she go on living like this without her soul mate? Cor was her everything. He couldn't just be dead! Suddenly, the vibrating of the smartphone drew the young woman's attention. Drautos had left his phone on the table and suddenly the thought crept into her mind that this call was meant for her. Or maybe it was just the little spark of hope inside her that told her so. Finally Y/N decided to take the smartphone and when she read the name on the display, her heart almost stopped in shock. Cor Leonis. Immediately she picked up the call and she was already afraid that it was not her Love who was talking to her, but one of his men. "Drautos? Drautos, can you hear me?! Where are you?" It was his voice! It was Cor speaking on the other end of the line. Not a word left the young woman's pretty lips at first. "Drautos! Damn it, can you hear me?" "Cor..." "Y/N?!" She had sensed from the beginning that Cor was still alive! Y/N was immensely relieved and this time, it was tears of joy she shed. "You're alive! It's really you!" Cor frowned a bit in confusion, wondering where she would even get the idea that he was dead. "Y/N! Are you all right?" Cor was driving through the streets at a fast speed, probably way over the limit, but he didn't care because he wanted to be with Y/N. "Yes! I'm fine, darling!" "Where are you, Y/N? Where did Drautos take you?" It suddenly became quiet on the phone, as Y/N wondered why Drautos had told her about Cor's death. From a safe source his words had come, Drautos had claimed. She frowned as she replayed Drautos' words in her mind. What possessed him to lie to her like this? Something told her that he had done this on purpose. That bad feeling she had had from the very beginning when she had gotten into the car with Drautos had been a warning. "Y/N! Y/N, are you still there?" "Drautos told me you were dead." "What? What did he say?" Judging from his tone, he didn't like that fact at all. He pushed the stick into fifth gear a little harder than he would have liked, while pushing the gas pedal even more unrestrained. "He said one of your men informed him..." "None of my men did anything like that! I don't know why he would tell you something like that, but I don't like it at all! Where are you, Y/N?" "I'm in Lestallum. I..." The next moment the door to her room opened and Drautos stood at the door, seeing that the young woman was holding his phone. Y/N gave the officer a disregarding look as she finished the following words. "I'm waiting for you at the Hotel Leville, Cor!" Drautos gasped when he heard that name. He had blown his cover and the young woman did not seem pleased by it...

Next chapter is coming soon...

#cor leonis #cor leonis x reader #cor leonis x female reader #final fantasy #final fantasy fandom #final fantasy 15 #ffxv #titus drautos #drautos #yandere #yandere!drautos #drautos x f.reader #toxic behavior #angst #fanfiction #fanfictions #writers on tumblr #my fanfictions

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keenregine · 1 year

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Just to keep the boat sailing.. Oh wow seven months ago, how can I ever top that amount of time. Seven months?! Geez. Anyways, let's just do this and move along. It has been almost a year since I moved from the hospital accommodation to the other house, can't say current because after eight months of staying there, I moved. . again. We'll get to that later. For now, we will just call the first house 'Audax', nothing special there, it's just the street name. I was together with three of my other cohort, it was a four bedroom, two tier house. I'm trying to search what type of house it is Google is not on my side today. But it looks very similar to a terraced house, only less fancy, less decorated, laced with pale bricks without those Victorian era chimneys, very industrial looking. The rent was at a decent price of, . . I'd rather not say, but it includes all the bills and internet. Good deal if you ask me, especially after the number of rejections we've been through. I chose the double bedroom on the second floor with shared bathroom, two person each floor. We don't have a designated receiving area because we converted that into a bedroom. The kitchen also became our common area, big enough for the four of us to fit in. There's also a beautiful garden at the back with a small shed or cottage whatever, great for hanging out or just to hide away. I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift, but I'd like to say that maybe, just maybe 'It's me, Hi! I'm the problem, it's me.' See what I did there, just to put a spin on my boring old narrative. Before moving in, an issue came about between me and my other cohort who immediately became my friend arriving here in UK. I will not go into further details since I won't forget that moment anyway. To summarize, we stopped talking from the first day we moved until this today. And I believe, it will not be fixed in the nearest future because we don't live in the same house anymore. We made it so easy avoiding each other while in the same roof, imagine how much easier it is now that were completely apart. In the recent years, I always found myself caught in these situations (for different reasons). It dawned on me that maybe I'm the problem. Well, life has to go on. First ever Christmas in the UK, yay 'twas great. Also, my first snow experience ever. I don't mean to sound pretentious or anything (which I think I am, but not on this matter) the snow didn't really excite me or maybe because I'm sick during these times and had to work taking out all the fun feeling within me. Lol. Felt like it was just snowflakes falling from the sky, the aftermath aesthetics though really hit hard. The best thing out of all the tragedy was Alex had a month-long vacation here with me, I'm just so glad that he took care of me, cook proper food for us, maintained my sanity and sustain my diva and baby like attitude. But ofcourse, I took him to all the major attractions that London has to offer which was loadsss by the way. And I realized how big this city is, there are over thirty-two boroughs and from each borough is a center, like an 'unofficially' declared center. Now, before I go any further and leave the most exciting 'parts' of my journey, after being in the UK for several months (I'm pertaining to myself), I managed to get a Schengen visa. Yay! it's way more convenient to travel to Europe (geographically) now that I'm here. Like, whenever I have long rest days, I could quickly go and fly across the channel. No drama, no bullshit. Went for his birthday on October, went again for my birthday on November. What a joy! The Spanish consul was generous enough to give me six months valid visa, which is already expired at this time. Getting an appointment is seriously like finding a lost treasure at sea, ridiculously difficult. The first time here in the UK (I feel the strong need to clear this, may I remind you about the time where I cried in the Spanish embassy in Saudi? yeah, that. good times) was fairly easy but with moderate effort, I was just lucky to get it at first try. Back in Saudi, everything was done for me by an agent, all I need to do was to pay and attend. But now, I need to do everything myself which is okay, but dude the appointment these days as I've said was close to none. I go online almost everyday at different times, trying to see if I could catch the fish. For a few weeks I was not very lucky, so I decided to take the convenient way, the 'what-would-Regine-do' way. I caved and paid for an appointment, ONLY for the appointment, getting the whole package would cost nearly £400-600. A great idea for business, seem like a scam because people aren't actually supposed to pay for an appointment alone. But since I don't want the hassle anymore, I end up here and believe me, I tried my best.

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coldgoldlazarus · 1 year

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who is/are your comfort character(s)?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

favorite holiday film?

Hmmm, that first question is an interesting one, because despite seeing the term often I've never been like, super clear on the meaning?

But after googling it, I get variations of "a character who thinking of brings you comfort during particularly stressful times, almost like a mental security blanket."

And I guess like, there are a few possible answers to that, but nothing that feels like it entirely fits? Because I have noticed that when I feel particularly stressed, I do tend to backslide into hyperfocus on older nostalgic stuff I got into when I was like, a kid, prolly at least partially to cope, but which thing exactly isn't really consistent.

I guess the Bionicle main cast is kind of an easy one since that was My Thing for basically the entire span of my child and preteen years? But that doesn't really narrow it down, since I still fixate on different arcs with different central characters. But then sometimes I instead fall back into MLP from my teen years - never quite enough to actually revisit the show, but more immersing myself back in old fandom music and early fanfics to get the feeling of being in that time period back. So like, I guess rather than any specific character, it's that nostalgia itself that's like a comfort to me?

On the other hand, I've also found with more recent crisises I've been through, my thoughts instead go to either Reimu of Touhou or Samus of Metroid, even though I only got into both of those relatively recently, back in 2017. So like, they don't really fit the nostalgia vibe as well, but they are individual characters who sorta fit the bill; Samus in particular given her quiet unyieldingness and being ever-so-slightly overpowered even in the literally horrific universe she resides.

I'm still not sure they'd entirely qualify, since I haven't really had the opportunity and awareness at the same time to look out for this, and I feel like there's an obvious-in-hindsight third option that's staring me in the face but eluding me and I'll kick myself later for somehow forgetting later, but that's what comes to mind for now at least ^^;

EDIT: Yep, I was right about the obvious third option. The Spring Sprite from Fantasia 2000, who both heavily influenced my aesthetic, and was prolly my first fictional character crush. While again, application in a stressful situation is hard to say, she does definitely give me that sorta comforting mental security blanket vibe much more than even the other stuff I listed.

---

With spicy foods, I love them, but have the tragic White Person affliction of not handling them well, so I've been wanting to ease into spicier stuff and build up an immunity. Unfortunately the opportunity to do such, with my food budget and spoons for cooking so low the past while, has been more limited, but I'll get there eventually.

---

Favorite holiday film, hmm. That is admittedly a field where I generally avoid treading, since the three main subgenres seem to be Toddler Feature, Christian(tm) Film(tm), or Raunchy Santa, none of which appeal to me, but I'm sure there's something.

Honestly, this may seem like kind of a weird pick, (and again I feel like I may be forgetting a more fitting option that's floating on the edges of my consciousness right now) but at least for now I'd have to say Unaccompanied Minors (2006). I don't remember it super well, but I can say at least that it quite resonated with me as someone who frequented airports as a kid to visit different parts of my family.

Plus, it had that kinda excellent blend of being just subversive enough to appeal to that too-cool-for-this (for however much I could ever consider myself or even really desire to be 'cool') tween phase I was in, and still ultimately just sincere and silly enough to feel meaningful. I have no clue how well it holds up or not now, but it sure was at least something then.

#not a reblog #asks

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kedreeva · 3 years

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Somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of my writing folder is a story from when I was a teen, from back when the internet was young, where Google barely existed and still had the slogan "don't be evil," and Apple still dreamed in color. This story was titled "The Stray" and it was about a guy that happens across a young teenager in a rough situation (one who was completely on his own), and takes him home to try to help.

In the middle of that night, as soon as he can, he calls a work friend (because he didn't really have other friends... looking back he wasn't in that great of a situation himself, sue me I was like 15, what do I know about adults), and for reasons, asks her what he should do if he sort of accidentally took home a stray cat for the night. The story fumbles through (or would have, if I'd ever finished it) him trying to figure out how to make sure this kid gets taken care of and into a better situation, which sort of ends up being "I accidentally adopted a child my coworker thinks is a cat so I sort of adopted a cat so I didn't have to admit I panicked" because she keeps asking for updates on his cat. So we're clear, 15 year old me thought this was the peak of comedy, and also meaningful as an expression that adults don't know what the hell they're doing either, even when it looks like they do. Turns out one of those was right.

I wrote some of it but ultimately had other things to do. I'm not sure I ever told anyone about it. Maybe Maz.

Anyway the point is, I just watched a movie last week (one I still haven't decided if I think is a good movie, though it was one I enjoyed... I've been informed this Venn diagram is not a perfect circle) where a wealthy guy takes in a teenage girl in a rough situation (though he knew her and her family and it was arranged with her mother, like he didn't kidnap her or anything), and fumbles his way through trying to provide a better situation. To be clear, he's very bad at this, and she's not great at it either. Mistakes are made by everyone except her best friend who is perfect. Assumptions (incorrect but fair ones given what people outside looking in can see, and even what she thinks at first) get made. But ultimately after enough grating against one another's rough edges, they figure out how to fit and be better. Not so much a found family as a made family.

And there's a part before that happens, where one of the guy's casual sex partners accuses him of looking at the teen the wrong way, and when he asks what way, she tries to cut him with "like a lonely, bored man standing on one side of a line, looking for any excuse to cross it" (fyi he's already both drawn that line and enforced it of his own accord by this point, making it clear that this isn't and wasn't and won't be about that) and he just replies back "I am bored. I thought taking in a stray dog might be an adventure, so what?"

And 15 year old me, who is still somewhere in my heart holding onto things that mattered through her year, lit UP at remembering this old story I had once almost made. Finally, someone dreamed the same dream, something finally exists to pretty much perfectly scratch an itch whose only legacy was in the memory of it. Media so often only leaves me with new itches, new ideas, new fascinations. It's so rare to have one laid to rest. It made me very happy.

If you're wondering, the movie ended well. He provides a safe space for her to get herself together, and support for her to work on a project to get into the school she wants. Meanwhile, he helps her mother get to stable ground so the teen can go back safely and fosters their reunion, offering to her the safety net of 'you're going where you need to be, but you can still count on me to help if you ask.'

It was nice, refreshing in a way, just see the message of "sometimes good things do happen" and "adults don't have all the answers either" and "sometimes the way out is through." That even when things are an absolute hot mess, and even when you make it worse at first trying to fix it, if you keep trying, sometimes you can make a break even if you can't catch one. That there can be good after bad. That human connection (to be clear I don't mean romance), with all its messiness, is worthwhile.

Like my dude, shit's fucked up, why don't you go make a little family about it and maybe you'll feel better.

#personal #my writing #i haven't thought about that story in YEARS #to have it just slammed back into my memory like that #wow #i have to imagine that this movie is not actually good #i just made a connection to it #but I'm excited and wanted to share it happened #I've been thinking about this for a week

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fangirlinsweden · 2 years

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Just One Kiss: Part 16

Part 16: Nervous

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: Secrets, tension, arguments, longing, lust

Count: about 6 500 words

Summary: You have been suspended from work and do not know what to do with yourself. Then in just a matter of hours, you find yourself on a plane to Montana to stay with people you have never met before. And as if that is not enough one of the men you are supposed to get to know is handsome enough to make your knees shake.

A/N: I do not know anything about the professions that are detailed in this story. I have googled most things I did not know and therefore there can be some inconsistency.

English is not my first language, so there will be mistakes.

And a big thank you to the amazing @dreamcatchernightsky not only for giving great support and helping me stay motivated but also for the amazing dividers for this story. You are AMAZING!

I also want to give a big thanks to @banditthewriter & @kaunis-sielu & @maw000 for their support! Thank you!

And a big thank you to my incredible Cat for being my beta reader! As well as @dreamcatchernightsky

When Steve had seen Y/N laughing and mingling with his friends - no, more like his family - that night, something had shifted in him. She belonged here. Not only in his arms, no, she belonged here with him. During the time she had been here, he had seen her fit in every aspect of his life. Every aspect. With Peter. With his horses. With his friends. And with him. A part of him thought that coming from New York she would never manage to get through a single day on the ranch, but she had. Not only had she managed, but she had aced it. A part of him was worried about the cattle drive, but he was sure she would manage that as well, without any problem. He also had to admit that after hearing her sing again, he had wanted to sit next to her and listen to her sing all night long. When he was admitting things, he also had to admit that he was jealous when Billy and Y/N had sung that duet. There had been so many feelings on her face, but then she had looked at him and all he saw was what he hoped was love for him. He was still mad at what she had found, but madder at himself than her. How could he think leaving all that in the open would go? Peter was supposed to come and get the papers for the cattle drive, but sending Y/N was not strange at all seeing as she was there to help out. If he was honest he also hoped that she had offered to get the papers to see him. Had he left the papers open and the computer on the spreadsheet to get caught? It was a question that had been spinning in his head the whole day. When he left the cookout to go to the stable and look in on the horses he had seen Peter and Y/N walking towards the house together. Laughing and having fun. He had wanted to join them, but he still had pregnant mares who could foal at any time and he would not be able to sleep without checking in on them. Then when he was finished he found Y/N on the porch and the angry he had felt towards her and the situation just disappeared. Hearing her say those things about him. How she saw him. It was like a dream. Someone he had feelings for saw him as this wonderful man, someone he wanted to be. Someone he had aspired to be. A man like the man his father had been. And she saw him like that. All these emotions came up inside him and all he could was the question he asked: “What am I supposed to do about you?” But the answer was more surprising. She wanted him to kiss her again. So he did that. He could not deny her. He wanted to get his lips on hers again and again again. When he had kissed her the first time it had been something he thought he could get out of his system. Just one kiss and then he was going to be able to forget about kissing her. But now all he could think about was being with her.

A part of you thought he would not kiss you, but he did. There was a heat and need in the kiss that made your knees weak, but strong at the same time. Being like this in Steves's arms, being kissed, felt like being home and on fire at the same time. He had pulled you as close as he could and he smelled of horses and hay, which told you that he had been at in the stable after the cookout. The taste of him was addictive and you did not think you would ever get tired of having his lips against yours. Something started vibrating between you and Steve relised you. “I am sorry,” he said and pulled up his phone from the pocket. He checked something and swore under his breath and it sounded as he also said something about a cockblock. “I am sorry,” Steve pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “I have to go, Blondie seems to decide that this was the moment to start foaling.”

“Don’t worry about it. Want any help?” you wonder. “No, not at this time,” Steve gives you a smile. “Go get some sleep instead.” He gives you another quick kiss and as he turn around to walk away, you could not keep it in. “As if I could sleep after that kiss,” you thought you muttered it, but Steve turned around looked at you. It made you blush. “Believe me you are not the only one affected,” Steve glances down and you see something that looks like an impressive bulge in his jeans. You gulp and Steve turns around and jogs to the stable. It was hard not following after him, but you were tired and did not want to be in the way in the stable. You saw someone walking from the workers barracks as well and took that as Steve would have company in the stable. Taking up your cup of tea and noting it was cold you walk into the kitchen and pour it in the drain. No more tea for you, what you needed was a cold shower to cool yourself down.

Steve was muttering all the way into the stable. He feelt bad about leaving Y/N like that on the porch, but he thought he was being honest with how she affected him at least. In the stable Steve walks directly to Blondies box and he saw how nervous she was laying down to immediately stand up again, which was not that easy beeing as pregnant as she was. Steve heard steps walking toward him and wondered if it was Y/N, but it was Bucky coming down the aisle. “Is it time?” Bucky wondered. “Within the next few hours,” Steve looked back at Blondie. “Need me to call Clint?” Bucky looked as Blondie once again layed down. “Not yet,” Steve said and lead against to box. “We just need to wait and see what happens.” “Are you worried?” Bucky looked at his best friend. “Not as much as she is,” Steve made a nod against Blondie. “It’s her first foal and it’s scary. But I think it will go all right.” “That’s good,” Bucky looked at Steve again, slightly tipping his head. “What?” Steve wondered. “Do you have lipstick or something on?” Bucky smirked and Steve whipped his lips with his hand. When he looked down there was something kind of sparkly, pink like on his hand. “Oh,” Bucky smiled and gave Steve a small push. “I take it things are going well with Y/N.” Steve cleared his throat and looked away. “Please don’t tell me you kissed someone else than Y/N,” Bucky narrows his eyes on Steve. “No,” Steve lifts his hands. “I kissed Y/N.” “Good,” Bucky smiled. “I don’t want you to mess things up.” “Believe me when I say I dont want to either,” Steve admitted. Blondie whines and the both of them turn their attention back to her. “You can go get some sleep if you want,” Steve tells Bucky when he jawns. “Are you going to go sleep?” Bucky asks Steve, who shakes his head. “Then I stay here with you.” Steve gives his best friend a smile in thanks. “I go get the cots,” Bucky says after a few minutes and walks away. Steve satys where he is, talking to Blondie. She seemed to enjoy hearing him talk to her.

You woke up the next morning eager to see Steve, but was wondering if he even came in the night before. Maybe he had stayed in the stables again since you had not heard him come in and you had not really been sleeping. Instead, you had worried about telling Nat that you liked Steve. Who were you kidding, you more than liked him. Your thoughts had also been on Steve, a lot more than worrying about Nat, if you were being honest. Yesterday had been a rollercoaster and you wanted to talk about your feelings with him. To know where you stod before Nat came, but then everything happened. You finding out about Steve paying Nat’s scholarship and how he had started his breading because of that. Steve finding you in his office and gotten angry. And then to end the night getting kissed once again on the porch. Of course, you had also been thinking of Blondie and you had been fighting yourself about going to the stables or not, but you did not want to be in the way. Steve had said he got it, but maybe if he was still in the stable this morning, you could go there and see how it was going.

After getting ready for the day, you went down in the kitchen and started the coffe and making breakfast. Peter came in after a few minutes, looking as happy as he did the day before. “Good morning, Y/N,” He smiled at you and you smiled back. “Good morning, Peter.” “We got two foals last night,” Peter smiled and started setting the table. “Or technically one last night and one this morning.” “Oh,” you looked at Peter. “That is exciting.” “Steve is still in the stable,” Peter continued. “Clint just left.” “Did Blondie have a hard delivery?” You frowned thinking of the sweet, sweet mare. “No, Ember did,” Peter seemed to have a shiver going through his body. “Steve had to call Clint.” “Oh, no.” “Don’t worry,” Peter tried reassuring you. “It all went well. Steve caught the signs early so he called Clint in time.” “That’s good,” you breathed out in relief.

When breakfast is finished you two sit down to eat, your eyes go towards the door a lot waiting for Steve to come inside. “Steve will probably not be in for breakfast,” Peter says when he see you glance towards the door for the tenth time. “He wanted to stay with Ember awhile longer to make sure everything is okay.” “He really should eat and get some rest,” you almost scolded. “He places everyone and everything else before himself,” Peter agreed. “It’s always been that way, but more so since dad died.” You looked at Peter. His bottom lip kind of trembled. “Peter, It will be all right,” you said. “After breakfast, I will go out with some food to him, and maybe I can get him to rest some.” “If he would listen to anyone it’s you,” Peter give you a small smile. You shrug, but go with it. Maybe it would make Peter feel more at ease. “What are your plans for today?” you ask Peter to change the subject. He go on telling you about the cleaning of the different guestrooms and toilets he needed to do, besides doing his normal chores. Everything needed to be ready for the cattle drive. Guest would start arriving the next day and Nat would be here later today, closer to the evening. But she would finally be here. You were looking forward to it.

After breakfast, Peter helps you make breakfast for Steve to take to the stable as well as clean the kitchen. Then he sends you on your way. Walking towards the stable you start second guessing yourself. What if Steve would be irritated that you came to him like this? Then you took a deep breath and told yourself not to project old boyfriends onto Steve. It was wrong to do so, and instead you should just see how Steve reacted. You had hard time believing that Peter would send you out like this if he did not think that Steve would appreciate it. Walking into the stable you hear Steve’s voice before you see him. He is leaning against a boxdoor looking down inside the box. You can not hear what he is saying, but the tone is southing and loving. He must have heard you come in since he turn around and looked at you. As you came closer you saw how tired he looked, but he still gave you a big smile. “Good morning Sweetheart,” He said and it made your stomach make summersaults. He called you sweetheart. You smiled back. “Good morning.” You wanted to add Handsome, but did not know if that was the right thing to do. You stop infront of him trying to decide if you should kiss him, hug him or just let him be. Steve does not seem to notice your hesitation. Instead he bends down slightly and give you a light kiss on your lips that makes your heart beat a lot faster. It was a sweet kiss that was way to short, but it made you realise that this was certainly not only something from your end. A man like Steve would never toy with someone's feelings.

“Mmm, I needed that,” Steve smiles at you and it makes you want to drop the basket in your hand and pull him closer to kiss him more. But you were there to get him to eat some and hopefully get some sleep. “You are not the only one,” you wink at him and he cuckles. “I have some breakfast for you.” you lifted the basket. “You are an angel,” he took the basket from your hands and pressed a kiss to your forehead. It made your heart flutter. “Peter helped,” you committed and Steve nodded. “Let me introduce you to the two newest members of Rogers Ranch,” Steve said and placed the basket on the cot that stood by the boxes. He took your hand and pulled you closer so you saw into Embers box. In there she had a small chestnut red foal with two front socks. He was adorable and stood eating from his mother. “Oh, Steve, He is gorgeous,” you breathed out. Ember look up at you and it was as she understood what you were saying. She looked a bit tired. “Peter said it was a hard birth.” “Yeah,” Steve rubbed a hand over his neck. “Two foals on one night was not what I had expected yesterday, but here we are. Come on.” Steve pulled you closer to him and put his arm around your shoulder and together you walked over to Blondies box. She greeted you with a neigh. “Hey girl,” you coo as you come closer and look inside the box. In there was a beautiful palomino foal. You could not see whether it was a female or a male, but as you tried standing on your toes to see, Steve chuckled. “It’s a mare,” He smiled and placed a kiss at your temple. It made you smile. But a look at him, showed that he looked even more tired now than before. “Maybe I should have made mimosas for breakfast instead of sandwiches and coffee,” you joked and Steve just smiled. “Sandwiches and coffee sound great.” “Then let’s go open that basket so you can eat it.” Steve nodded at that and together you walked over to the cot. Steve sat down before pulling you down beside him. The cot was surprisingly comfortable to sit on, because it did not look it. Steve opened the basket and took out a sandwich. He unpacked it and took a big bit. “This is really good,” He said after he had finished chewing. He continued to eat and remembered something. “You never told me the names of the foals,” you commented. Steve looked at you and smiled.

“I thought that maybe you wanted to name them.” That left you speechless. It was such a sweet gesture and once again Steve showed you that he was different than any man you had ever met. Nobody had ever trusted you with something like that. “You really trust me to name your foals?” You looked at Steve as he took another bit of the sandwich. He nodded and when he saw you still looking at him with a face that must have been filled with disbelief or wonder he showed his shoulder lightly against yours. “I trust you,” Steve smiled and nodded towards Embers box. “So what is their names?” You felt your eyes get misty and stood up. Blinking away the tears in your eyes you walked over to Embers box and looked at her and her beautiful foal. He was sleeping in the other end of the box, Ember stood looking at him with what must be pride. You tried to come up with a name and then it hit you. “Blaze,” you said out loud and turned to Steve. He was looking at you with a big smile. “Ember and Blaze,” Steve said as to test out the names. You were waiting patiently for his response. “I love it. It fits his colouring.” You nodded. It really did. And Steve telling you he liked the name made you happy. Really happy. Steve nodded towards the direction of Blondie's box, so you walked over and looked at the other sleeping foal. Her colouring reminded you of a drawing you seen in a story book when you were little. The drawing had been of Rapunzel's golden hair and the only name you could come up with was Rapunzel. “I can see that you have come up with a name,” Steve said beside you. Since you had been lost in thoughts you had not heard him come over. He stands behind you and puts his arms around you pulling your back to his front. Together you stand there looking at the sleeping foal.

“I have a name in mind, but I don’t know if it’s a name that is any good.” You wanted to be honest. “Just say it,” Steve insisted. “Rapunzel,” you mumble. “Why would I not like that name?” Steve wondered and you bit your lip. “I don’t know,” you admit. “I like it,” Steve gave you a kiss on your cheek from behind. “Rapunzel and Blaze,” Steve said the names out loud and it made you smile. He yawned and you turned around, still being in his arms, and looked up at him. The smile he gave you was a bit sleepy. “Maybe it’s time for you to go inside and get some rest,” you suggested. Steve looked over at Rapunzel. “Maybe,” Steve admitted. “But I have lots of things to do.” “Steve, you need your rest,” you insist. “And you have employees that can take care of the ranch for a few hours.” Steve looked at you, but you stood your ground. “You are cute when you get annoyed,” Steve smiled. That made you almost melt, he thought you were cute. But he needed to get some rest. You lifted an eyebrow at him and he pressed a kiss on your forehead. “Okay, I go get some rest,” He promised. “I just need to talk to Wanda.” “Thank you,” you smiled and pressed a quick kiss on his lips. Together you packed up the basket and you went back to the house. But not before threatening Steve that you would come and get him if he did not go inside and rest soon. At that, he just chuckled and walked to talk to Wanda who just came into the stable.

An hour later you sat down in the kitchen, Steve had come in and you had sent him up to bed. He had pouted that he was not a child and could take care of himself. Something you told him you knew, but that he needed to rest and take care of him seld. Then you told him that he would need all his strength and energy soon. He wiggled his eyebrows at that, but you blushed and reminded him that he was going to have 10 people coming for a cattle drive that would start in just two days. That shut him up. Your phone vibrated on the table and you picked it up. It was a message from Bucky. He had contacted a kennel a bit outside town that he knew had puppies. It was time to give Steve a puppy. It was what you had decided at the cookout. You were driving there to look at the puppies and talk to the breeder. Bucky wrote that you could drive there whenever you had the time and that you could borrow his truck. Since Steve was upstairs resting, you decided to try and go as soon as possible. You sent Bucky a text telling him to give you thirty minutes and then you went into the kitchen to see what needed to be bought since you were going out and it would be a good excuse in case Steve woke up and wondered where you were going.

Half an hour later you were standing by Bucky’s truck as he gave you directions to the breeder. He also gave you their number in case you got lost. You thanked him and hoped into his truck and drove of feeling happy and hoped Steve would sleep until you got back.

What Y/N did not know that Steve had just gotten out of the shower and he looked out the same moment as she jumped into Bucky’s truck and drove off. Since Nat was renting a car at the airport, Steve knew that Y/n was not driving to pick Nat up. So why had she just left? A small feeling of panic rose in Steve’s chest and he threw on a pair of pants and a shirt and ran out of the house. Putting on a pair of shoes, but his socks were still upstairs. Bucky turned around when he heard the door bang open at the house. “Did I just see Y/N drive away in your truck?” Steve says as he reaches Bucky. “Well, yeah. She did not want to wake you up to ask if she could borrow your truck,” Bucky explained. It wasn’t really a lie, since she did not want to wake Steve up. “So I let her borrow my truck.” “I just got out of the shower,” Steve swept a hand through his hair. “I can see that,” Bucky nodded. “Where were she going?” Steve wonderd and nodded towards the direction Y/N just have left. “I don’t really know,” Bucky shrugged. “She said something about having errands in town.” “And you never asked what or if she wanted company?” Steve frowned. “Steve, she is a grown woman,” Bucky chuckled. “I think she can manage alone.” “But she has never been alone here,” Steve tried to explain. There was a nagging inside his head. He did not like that she had driven off alone. Why did she not take Peter? Why had she not told Steve earlier in the stables she was going into town? Had something happened? “She is raised in New York,” Bucky smiled. “I think she can handle what Montana throws at her. And before you ask why she did not take Peter with her, you have him doing his choirs and cleaning the house for all the people at the cattle drive.” Steve nodded at that. It was true. He ran his hand through his hair again. “She also has all our numbers so if something happens she can call us,” Bucky continued and Steve nodded again. “Now, go and get some rest,” Bucky pointed at the house and looked surprised after Steve when he actually turned around and went back into the house again. Bucky hoped that he went back in to get some sleep. His friend looked to be dead on his feet.

A few hour later you were standing in the store looking at things for the puppy. It felt unreal. You had just decided to make sure that Steve would have a dog again yesterday evening, and now you had one that Steve would get in one and a half week. The breeder and her husband had been amazing and you had gotten the pick of the litter. Anything for Steve Rogers, her husband had said over and over again. When you wanted to pay, they had insisted that you save your money. They wanted him to have a puppy, apparently Steve had helped them a lot over the years. First when their car had broken down and then when a tree had fallen on the outhouse. And the list went on and on. The breeder said that she had tried giving Steve a puppy last time she had a litter, but he had declined. He was not ready. They agreed with Bucky and you that it was time.

Bucky had said that Steve had all the stuff left from his old dog somewhere in the house, but you wanted the puppy to have new stuff and Steve could use the old stuff as memories or when the puppy was older and not so inclined to destroy the other stuff with her sharp teeth. “Y/N,” you heard a voice behind you. As you turned around you recognized the woman as Pepper, Steve’s friend who own the restaurant he had taken you to. “Oh, hi Pepper,” You smiled and noticed she had a handsome man next to him. “Tony, this is Steves's friend Y/N, Y/N this is my husband Tony,” Pepper said, but she put some extra pronunciation behind the word friend. It made you want to sink into the floor. “Nice to meet you,” you greeted Tony and he smiled and took your hand and shook it. “Like wise,” he said. “Are you getting a dog?” He nodded towards the leases behind you. “Oh,” you looked around to see who was near. Tony looked around as well. “It’s a secret,” you whispered. Tony and Pepper moved in closer. “We are good at keeping secrets,” Pepper smiled. “I am getting Steve a puppy,” You explained and told them all the details. “That is wonderful,” Pepper smiled. “Very thoughtful of you,” Tony agreed, but the way he looked at you was almost as he was trying to read your mind or soul. After a short while he smiled and nodded, as if he like what he saw or read. Somehow it made you feel happy, and not judged. As if Steve’s friend just had decided that you were good enough for him. It might sound stupid, since it did in your own head, but it meant a lot. It felt like approval.

“What have you got so far?” Pepper beamed at you and you nodded toward the cart a little way from you. “Were are you going to hid all that?” Tony asked and you bit your lip. “That is what I have been trying to wrap my head around.” “We can take it,” Tony offered. “Just until the puppy is ready for delivery.” “Yes,” Pepper smiled and looked lovenly on her husband. “Thank you, that would be great,” you smiled. Together you decided that Tony and Pepper would house the things for the puppy at their house and then help you with the delivery of the puppy as well. The clerk in the store promised to keep it quiet as well since she had heard most of the conversation.

When you were finished with Pepper and Tony you drove to the grocery store to get some things for dinner that night. You wanted to make something special since Nat was coming. It might also be that you were feeling a bit guilty about having kissed her brother, multiple times now, without talking to her about it. Even if everything from that morning indicated that Steve wanted more than just friendship, you still needed to talk to him. If he wanted to be with you.. Well that would make you really happy. Then when you knew were you stood with Steve, you could talk to Nat. “Oh Y/N,” Mrs Bennet said beside you. “Just the person I wanted to meet.” “Hi, Mrs. Bennet,” you smiled politely, feeling a bit scared since Steve told you she was a gossip. “I don’t know if you have heard this,” Mrs. Bennet smiled. “But I am retiring in two months time and I think you should apply for the job instead.” You just looked at her with your moth open. “I mean you were so good with Billy from what I heard and Sam, I mean Dr Wilson said that he was impressed with your knowledge.” “Thank you,” You got it out before she continued talking. “And having you here around would certainly help Steve continue smiling as I saw the other day. Just think of how loverly babies the two of you will have.” Your mind was screaming at you to get away from there, but where should you go? And how can you go from there without it becoming something to gossip about. “Mrs. Bennet,” you hear Peppers voice say and smile what you hope is a grateful smile in her direction. “Don’t badger the poor girl. Let her go one with her shopping in peace.” Mrs. Bennet nodded, but before she let you go she took your hand.

“Please think of what I said,” She smiled at you and the look on her face. It made you let her hold your hand. “Steve needs you more than you know, but don’t just think of that. This town need someone like you.” She gives you a small squize before she hurries along. “Thank you,” you breath out to Pepper when you see that Mrs. Bennet is out of earshot. “You are welcome,” Pepper giggles. “Just know she means no harm.” “I know,” you nodded. “I just did not know what to say.” “As she said, think about taking the job,” Pepper smiled and says good bye. You stand there watching after her. Stay here? Start working here? It would be a dream, but was it possible? And what would Steve think about it? You looked at the clock and realised it was well past lunch and you needed to get back to the Ranch. Not that you thought that Steve was still sleeping, no if you knew him, which you thought you did by not. He would be out working.

Nat sat on the plane trying to keep her thoughts and emotions in check. She was worried about going back home. Back to the ranch. The only place besides the apartment she shared with Y/N that had ever felt like home. She had thought it would be easier to come back to the Rogers Ranch knowing that Y/N was there, but it was still hard. If she admitted it to herself she had been able to go back earlier in the week. Her meetings had been able to do digitally, but she needed the time to prepare. She knew that Bucky would be there. Working at the ranch as he had been for a while. It was no way she could keep her distance from him this time. Seeing him always made her feel hollow. He tried talking to her a few times when she was back, but she had not given him the chance. What could he have to say? He left. He gave up on their love years before and joined the army. Leaving her alone. She had headed to New York and become a successful lawyer, but still, she could not help but compare every man she had ever dated with the man she dated so many years ago. The man she thought she would end up marrying. Maybe it was time to have a talk to Bucky and leave it all behind, so she could go forward? Could she get over him? Would he have a girlfriend this time? He was a handsome man. Please don’t let her go there and he is in a relationship. How would she survive that?

Nat tried to think of something else. Y/N. That was a safe topic. Y/N sounded happier than she had in a long while when she talked to her. She sounded at ease. Nat knew that Y/n was dreaming of moving from New York and somewhere more quiet. Somewhere less stressful. And now that she was probably out of a job, she would probably do that. Right? Had she fallen in love with Montana? Would she want to move here? That was not something Nat had considered when she asked her best friend to help. What if Montana was not the only thing she had fallen in love with. What if Bucky and Y/N had fallen in love? Oh no. Nat clenched a hand to her stomach. How would she survive that?

The belt light flashed on and Nat knew that they were to descend now. Then she had the drive to the ranch. She would be there in a couple hours and then she would have to deal with whatever happened. What was it her mother had always said? “Take it one step at a time and try not to worry about what happens next.” It was a good thing to remember. Y/N could have fallen in love with Dr. Sam Wilson. He was handsome and nice. And according to Peter, still single. Yes, Y/N had probably fallen for Sam. They would be great together. With those thoughts, Nat relaxed and starting to look forward to coming to the rance and here Y/N talked about being in love. If she was not Nat would just have to make Y/N see Sam more. Because if someone deserved to be happy and in love, it was Y/N. Nat did not know where she would be without Y/N.

Nat took a couple of deep breaths as she drew to the small town. Almost home. She saw a lot of curious faces looking at the rental car. Some waved even though they did not recognize the car. Of course she waved back. She saw Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton walk hand in hand down the street, still looking like a newly weed couple, even if they must be over 80 years old and married for at least 60 years. It made her smile and her heart ache a bit. Why did it always feel like coming home driving into town like this. Nat knew that if she stoped, people she knew would stop and talk to her. As if she never left home. Whitin a few minutes she would probably hear all the latest gossip and then the gossip mill would go around saying that Nat was back in town. It made her smile. Years before when she left, that was one of the reasons she swore to never move back. The gossip and the everyone knows you, but now, it just felt safe and as something she been missing. In New York, nobody would stop her on the street to ask who she was. The only ones that stoped her were creepy men or people looking for a handout. Nat drow out of town and felt her hands get sweaty. Soon home. Soon. Just a bit more.

When she turned onto the road up to the ranch she had to stop at the side of the road to breath. Why was she so nervous? She could do this. They knew she was coming and the last thing she wanted was someone coming down the road and seing her sitting her like a coward. After a couple of deep breaths she pulled out on the road again and felt herself smile you closer she came to the ranch. As the buildings started to appear she got a sense of ease. She saw cattle and horses. And there on the porch stood Y/N. It made something in her heart give a gick tug. Y/N looked as she belonged there. There on the porch. At the ranch. The closer she got, she saw a calmness on her best friends face that she had never seen before. That was something new.

A couple of hours later, you stood on the porch when Nat's rental car drives up to the house. You had gone out with a cup of tea to calm down. The conversation with Mrs. Bennet in the grocery store was still playing in your head. She was fifteen steps ahead of you when it came to Steve and you. And you still have not talked to Steve about your feelings or his feelings. And now you needed to great Nat and pretend like everything was fine. Even if there was a relief of seeing her, you were also kind of annoyed with her. Since she had moved up her arrival day several times.

"I thought you weren't going to come," you say and cross your arms over your chest. Nat laughs and runs up to the porch and hugs you tight. You hug her back. "I am sorry it took so long," Nat says and realising you. "I needed to get things done so I can be here for the next two weeks." “Nat,” Peter almost dreams as he comes running out of the house. Nat opens his arms and Peter runs right into them. “Hey, Peter,” Nat says as she reliseas Peter and ruffs his hair. “I missed you,” Peter can’t seem to stand still. “I missed you too,” Nat smiled. It gives you a warm feeling in your body. Somehow Nat seemed to fit in here more than in New York. She seemed more calm, and she just arrived. "Hey, Nat," a voice from behind you said. You turned around and there on the porch stood Steve. He had his hat in his hand. How was this going to go? You knew that the two of them had a rocky relationship. At least according to Nat.

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suganovakawa · 4 years

Text

જ — rumor has it!

# 17 ༉‧ yes or no

smau masterlist

✧ ｡ synopsis : though hajime has reassured you time and time again that you two attending different schools would be plenty manageable in your guys’ relationship, your imagination is left to wander when he slowly begins to ghost you.

જ — a/n : it’s finally here! sorry to keep you waiting :,)

— if you could, could you check out this google form for just a few moments of your time? it’s a surprise, but please choose five characters from that list. it would really help a lot!

out of all the places hajime could’ve taken you, you were not expecting an empty parking lot. previously, it belonged to a local grocery store a couple of years back, before it went out of business.

was it necessarily a bad place? of course not. nobody seemed to be around, so if you wanted to yell at him? you’d be able to without so much as batting an eyelash.

that seemed to be the least of iwaizumi’s worries as he turned off the car when he parked in a spot in the middle of the lot, his jaw clenched tightly as both of you sat in silence. not even the hum of the engine was there to alleviate the awkward tension.

“are we talking here, or are we talking outside?” you mustered the courage to speak first, watching as he jumped slightly at the sound of your own nervousness.

“it doesn’t matter. it’s up to you.” his voice seemed almost squeaky as he looked straightforward and out the windshield.

it was obvious the two of you were procrastinating on what was to come. you didn’t want to hear the truth, and hajime was afraid of facing the reality of the situation. the cat had to be let out of the bag one way or another. you had come this far already, there was no way in hell you would chicken out—not when the truth was sitting right next to you, right in the driver’s seat.

“hajime, just—just tell me what happened. please. pretending like it’s not going to hurt will just make both of our lives a living hell. i already know nothing will make this situation any better.” you couldn’t even look at him. your hands were rested on your lap, your fingers clenched tightly into fists. your palms were sweaty, and your stomach was running a mile a minute. what you were going through may not have even held a candle to what iwa was going through.

but iwaizumi isn’t the victim here. you are.

“where do you want me to start?” his voice was faint, weak—unlike anything you had ever heard before.

it was obvious he wasn’t going to confess to anything without a push in that direction.

you wanted to yell at him in frustration; it was going to bubble out of your throat any minute. but that wouldn’t help both of your situations.

well, it might help yours.

“did you do it?” if he was going to act stupid, might as well push him into a corner about it. enough was enough, your lack of patience outweighed any nervousness you once had. “just admit it, hajime. who is she?”

“were you the one who had karasuno go to the—”

“answer my question.”

he looked to you then—he turned pale at the angry look in your eyes. “stop acting like you have nothing to share. i know you better than that. we wouldn’t be here in the first place. you’re guilty of something, and i’ve been thrown into the loop of it, whether i wanted to be in it or not.”

it was then he started shaking. he wasn’t crying, no. this was fear, unyielding terror he held within the very marrow of his bones, eating him from the inside out. you were so close. so very close to getting the answer. this was either a yes or no, it had to be.

“i didn’t,” he finally mustered, leaning forward to grip the steering wheel with an iron grip. “y/n, you have to understand. i didn’t, i didn’t, i didn’t...”

“then who is she, hajime?” you couldn’t tell if he was lying or not, and it was eating at you. “who is the girl? why does she have my number? how does she have my number? what did she get out of exploiting whatever the two of you had, huh? i don’t get it.” so many questions, yet so few answers. “i genuinely don’t understand. i need your help in understanding. please.”

his hold around the steering wheel loosened, until he leaned back into his seat. you were getting more annoyed by the second, but you had said everything you needed to say.

“i didn’t do anything with her,” he repeated, swallowing a lump in his throat. in a matter of seconds, everything began to spill from his tongue. “she’s a family friend who moved to seijoh this year. i don’t know why she moved, when she had been attending shiratorizawa before now. my family asked me to show her around and whatnot, and i agreed to it because i know her, and she was new around school.”

he hesitated before continuing. “it was fine at first, then she asked for tutoring lessons, after school meetings, and all that. i kept saying no until she became so pushy that both her parents and mine told me to at least tutor her. so i did.”

that’s it? you were almost speechless at all this, all this frustration and fear in your system as he became silence once more. “tutoring lessons?” you asked, almost unbelieving of the words that had come out of your own mouth. “i don’t care about tutoring lessons, hajime. why couldn’t you have just told me?”

“because i slowly began to like the tutoring sessions, alright?” he shut you up with one sentence as soon as you started raising your voice. iwa's words hit you harder than expected, you backed up into your own seat as soon as he took a deep breath.

“i didn’t think i would start looking forward to them, but after a couple weeks, i began getting too comfortable. she became more down to earth than i thought she would be, and we became closer.” he buried his face in his hands, as if that would help him atone for his mistakes. “it had nothing to do with you. don’t think i got tired of you, because i would never, and i mean that. please—”

“would you have actually done anything with her if i never found out?” hajime’s eyes widened as your voice cracked, your arms wrapping around your own stomach in discomfort.

“y/n—”

“would you?”

“no.” not even a moment of hesitation. “i would never.”

“how can you be so sure?” you were angry, frustrated, confused—so many thoughts, so many questions... you were at a complete loss of words, yet too many were threatening to spill out all at once. “you were already comfortable with being able to see her more than you were able to see me. how can you say so easily that the thought of doing anything else with her never crossed your mind?”

“because i love you, not her.” his hand reached up to touch yours, but you moved away from him, as far away as you could in the passenger seat. he placed his hand back down into his pockets before continuing. “i’m not sure if you remember, but there was one night where you thought i was unwell, because i wasn’t texting like my usual self.”

you nodded silently to acknowledge your memory of that day. “that’s because it wasn’t me. that was her. i must’ve left my phone unlocked while i had left the dining room to turn on my car and she took it. by the time i dropped her off at home, you began messaging me about being bored of our relationship, because of how she had texted you. i was terrified that it had come to this, that i was too ashamed of myself to admit to what had been going on.”

“and the other ten minutes?”

“she forgot her homework at my house.”

you almost hated how his explanation fit perfectly into the entire situation. that would explain how she got your number. “i just... i don’t get why you had to hide all of this from me. don’t you trust me? have our years of being together not account for anything? do you really think i would care about tutoring lessons?”

“they weren’t supposed to be lessons. they turned from fifteen minute meetups to a scheduled hour almost everyday. i didn’t realize just how normal it had become for me until both you and oikawa began ignoring me.” you could tell he was having difficulty confessing to everything, but you weren’t going to stop until he coughed out every remaining detail out of him.

“...and the cafe?”

“i wanted to end everything, i swear. end the lessons, end anything that began to develop a deeper relationship.” iwaizumi shook his head at the thought and leaned his head against the headrest, staring up at the roof of his vehicle. “i wanted to do it without having to drag you into this mess, so that it would never happen again. then i saw karasuno walking out as soon as i was about to say something.”

“what did you do after they left?” that also lined up perfectly with what both sugawara and nishinoya told you that day.

“i still did it. i told her that our meetings were over and that i was no longer going to affiliate with her outside of school, or anywhere in general. i stood up and left before she could say anything.” he glanced in your direction and sat straight once more, his hands fidgety and his foot tapping lightly near the pedals. “that was that. i didn’t even drive her home. i drove back to my house and blocked her number. after thinking about my mistakes, i called you. then everything unfolded to now.” you were still trying to process everything that was just let out, and hajime slumped into his seat. “that’s it. that’s all that happened. you can even check my phone if you want.”

you didn’t want to see his phone. currently, you didn’t know what you wanted. part of you was thinking about getting out of his car and walking home. surely he didn’t think that just telling you the truth would be the answer to all of your problems?

“why are you sorry, hajime?” after more silence had filled the air, you pierced it with a needle. “that you got caught? that i found out? that you made a mistake? why?”

“because i let something so stupid drag out this far.”

“be honest with me.” you interrupted him before he could continue. “did you grow feelings for her at one point?”

“feelings?”

“you’re not naive. you know what i’m asking you.”

he hesitated, which was all the answer you needed. his silence was louder than any other response he could have given you. you were just heartbroken that absolutely none of this was your fault.

iwaizumi noticed your shift in emotion, and his voice cracked under the pressure of the situation, and you could tell he was trying his hardest to keep everything in. “i shouldn’t have let it come to this, and i know apologizing won’t change anything. but you have to believe that i never did a thing with her. and i don’t have feelings for her. none. the closest i ever got to her was accidentally touching the same pencil as her.” his tone became more desperate, he was losing whatever restraint he had left. “i swear, you don’t have to forgive me now, but please let me make it up to you eventually. i promise—”

“hajime, please drive me home.”

“what?”

“i said, please drive me home.” this really wasn’t a yes or no situation. everything about this was anything but yes or no.

he was unfaithful, but he wasn’t. he cheated... but did he really?

depends on your standpoint of cheating, isn’t it?

“thank you for telling me everything. i trust you enough to believe that what you said was the truth, but i just want to go home now. please.”

he didn’t respond to your monotone response, he knew that was the end of this conversation. with a heavy heart he started his engine and drove out of the empty parking lot, the space between you figuratively wider the longer you two remained in the same car together. the road stretched far ahead, you let your thoughts spin into an endless frenzy all the way back home. the noise in your head refused to subside as hajime parked in your driveway, changing the stick shift to park and unlocking the door.

you reached for the door handle to open it, but hesitated. was this really the end of you two? you didn’t know if it was or not—you didn’t know if you wanted it to be over. you still loved him. that feeling wouldn’t go away overnight. and while hajime made an extremely stupid mistake, you knew he loved you as well. but this was something that couldn’t be ignored. you couldn’t just pretend this never happened. you were better than that.

“i don’t know what’s going to happen yet,” you said truthfully, gathering the courage to turn around and look hajime in the eye. “i just want to think about it for now. that’s all.”

“take your time. i’ll always wait for you.” he sounded broken, but you had made up your mind. with only a simple nod to say goodbye, you opened the door without turning back, rushing back into your house before watching hajime drive away with a sharp pain in your chest.

what the hell are you gonna do now?

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the-modernmary · 4 years

Text

when you gonna take me out? || derek morgan x GN!reader

Summary: You and Derek have been flirting pretty heavily for the past few weeks. So when his first time asking you out doesn't go as well as planned, he's determined to get you to say yes.

Warnings: mentions of getting shot, allusions to smut

A/N: Chapter title taken from Aly & AJ's "Take Me Out". This was inspired by a scene from the show community, and also because derek morgan deserves more love

~~~~~~~

“No, no, you see, asking somebody out is an art,” Derek explained to a very frustrated Spencer Reid. “And I think with a little practice, pretty boy, you could become a bit of a player.”

Prentiss, who had been listening to Derek trying to convince Spencer to let him be his wingman for the better part of an hour, scoffed from her desk. “Using a cheesy pickup line is an art now?”

“There is nothing wrong with a line!” Derek argued, leaning back in his desk chair. “It’s a knock at the door. And once they let you in, that’s when you strike.”

Spencer scrunched up his nose at Derek’s phrasing. “I think I’m going to leave the whole player thing to you.”

“Come on, Reid, it’s easy.”

“If it’s so easy, then why don’t you show us?” Prentiss shot.

Right at that moment, Garcia and JJ walked back into the bullpen, coffees in hand. “Show us what?” JJ questioned.

“Derek is trying to teach Reid how to flirt,” Prentiss explained. “But I think he’s just all talk. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Morgan with a significant other.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “Hey, I don’t pry into your personal life?”

Garcia put a comforting hand on Derek’s shoulder. “Nobody can resist my chocolate thunder. I mean, look at him. He literally looks like he was sculpted by Michaelangelo.”

“I’m with Emily,” JJ chimed in. “I kind of want to see the Derek Morgan in action.”

Derek’s eyes scanned the bullpen until he landed on you, standing in the kitchen area and making yourself a cup of coffee. You were also a profiler, just on a different team that primarily focused on cold cases. It was no secret that you and Derek Morgan had been flirting pretty heavily the past few weeks — longing glances, pet names, and kisses on cheeks were just the start — and you both had a sneaking suspicion that there was an office pool betting on whether or not the two of you had already hooked up.

“Fine,” Derek said, standing up. “Watch and learn, Pretty Ricky.”

Derek sauntered over to the kitchen and leaned against the counter while reaching for a wooden stirrer. “Let me help you with that,” he offered.

You turned to look at him, a smile on your face. “Wow, what a gentleman,” you teased, but you handed your cup of coffee to him anyways. “I didn’t realize you knew how I take my coffee?”

“You learn a lot about somebody when you can’t take your eyes off them,” he pointed out. “Especially with the way you look right now. I mean, wow. Got a hot date tonight? Because he is one very lucky man.”

You arched an eyebrow in his direction. “Nope, no date.”

“Well, you do now, baby,” Derek grinned. “I’ll pick you up at 8:30.”

You stared at Derek, part amused and part incredulous. “Did you really think that would work?” you asked through a breathy chuckle.

Derek’s confident grin fell slightly as his eyes narrowed in confusion. “Wait, what?” he asked, unable to form any other words.

“Derek Morgan, I expected so much more from you,” you mused, snatching your coffee cup from his hand. “I know you can sweet talk better than that.”

It was Derek’s turn to raise his eyebrows, and he tried his best to ignore the barely-suppressed giggles from his teammates. “So is that a no?” he clarified, not used to the feeling of rejection. Although, it didn’t feel quite like a rejection, especially when you were smiling at him with just a hint of your tongue peaking out from between your teeth.

“It’s a… ‘better luck next time’,” you explained, taking a sip of your coffee.

Derek’s normal, confident grin returned to his face. “You’re saying I can ask you out again?” he clarified, because he did not want to be the guy who didn’t know how to take no for an answer.

You walked backwards to your desk, never taking your eyes off Derek. “Sure. It could be fun. But you’ll have to bring your A-game if you want me to say yes,” you told him, and oh, Derek Morgan loved a good challenge.

Derek walked back to his desk, feeling the stares of his teammates the whole way back.

“Like a knock on the door...” Prentiss quoted back to Derek. “So did you just get the door slammed in your face, or was nobody home?”

Derek scoffed and sat down in his chair, already coming up with all the new ways he could ask you out. He had been wanting to for a while, but the timing was always off. But now…

“Oh no, I’m in,” Derek promised, and his eyes were immediately drawn to you. He hadn’t been lying when he said that he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. “But I’m playing the long game.”

~~~~~~~

Derek and the rest of his team got pulled into a case shortly after, so you didn’t hear from him for about a week except for the occasional “how is it going?” text. They got back to the BAU in the middle of the day, but instead of heading straight home like the rest of his team, Derek made a beeline to your desk.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he greeted, dropping a quick kiss to your temple. “Hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

A soft blush rose to your cheeks as you shut the file you were looking at, spinning your chair so that you could face him. “I missed you tons, as always. But you knew that.”

Derek’s eyes trailed up and down your body, and there was a softness to his gaze that you rarely ever saw from him. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

“Sore eyes?” you questioned. “I don’t know about that. Wasn’t there a meteor shower where you guys were at?”

“Yeah, but no meteor shower can compare to how beautifully your eyes sparkle.”

You tried really, really hard to hold in your laughter. You pressed your lips into a thin line and you bit the insides of your cheeks, but you were only so strong, and even Derek looked like he realized how cheesy and awful that line was.

You broke down into a fit of laughter. “I’m sorry,” you giggled, covering your mouth as you did. “I just — Did you google a top ten best pickup lines list on the plane ride back?”

Derek winced, but nodded in agreement. “That’s fair. Not my best work.”

“No, it was not, Romeo,” you said, patting his cheek. “But we’ll chalk it up to post-case sleep deprivation.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Derek grinned. “When the time comes, you won’t be able to say no.”

You laughed, throwing your head back as you did. “And I am eagerly awaiting that day.”

~~~~~~~

Two days later, Derek all but ambushed you at the elevator. As soon as you stepped out onto the 6th floor, Derek slung his arm around your shoulders, and used his free hand to carry your bag for you.

“Oh, this is exciting,” you mused. You reached your hand up to interlace your fingers with the hand that was draped over your shoulder. “What do you have for me today, baby?”

“I’ve been thinking,” Derek explained. “And you’re a modern, progressive, independent person. I think I’ve been going about this all wrong.”

You nodded in encouragement. He was so close, you just knew it. All he had to do was ask you.

“You don’t want to be dragged down by a bunch of strings. So how about you come over tonight, I’ll put on some mood music, light some candles, and you and I can have one perfect night of pure bliss.”

Or maybe he wasn’t as close as you thought.

“Nope,” you said, moving his arm off of your shoulders. You liked Derek Morgan, but you were not going to be another one of his one night stands. “Not gonna happen.”

“Better or worse than before?” Derek asked, already knowing the answer, and he handed your bag back to you.

“Worse. Much worse.” You paused and turned so that you were facing him. “But I like how forward you were. Keep that up.”

Derek smirked and leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets. “Yeah? So should I keep those candles just in case?”

You pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “With your current track record, baby boy, the only place you’ll be using those candles is in your dreams.”

“You’re already in my dreams, hot stuff,” he promised you. “Every. Single. Night.”

Oh god, that was a very welcome image you would think about forever. You knew that Derek liked you, and you had had your fair share of fantasies involving him in some pretty explicit situations, but him fantasizing about you? It was almost enough to convince you to drag him into the nearest empty room.

Almost. Because if he wanted a chance with you, he was going to have to actually ask you on a date.

Instead, you blew him a kiss and left him with: “And I bet I’m even better than you can imagine.”

Needless to say, the both of you spent the rest of the day incredibly distracted.

~~~~~~~

By that point, pretty everybody on the 6th floor knew what was going on, and they were all invested. More betting pools sprouted up, and even some of the more reserved agents were putting in their two cents, albeit under the guise of disapproval.

That’s why, when a bouquet of flowers appeared on your desk one morning, it was all anybody could talk about as they waited for you to get to work. Even Rossi and Hotch had found an excuse to get themselves out of their offices and into the main part of the bullpen.

“They’re going to say yes today,” Penelope guessed. “They have to. Everybody likes flowers, and this shows the sweet side of my chocolate thunder.”

Prentiss scoffed. “I hope they don’t. I have twenty bucks on at least two more rejections.”

Rossi, who was sitting on the edge of a desk, shook his head. “These are your friends. Don’t you guys feel bad about betting on their love lives?”

“Says the guy who has fifty dollars on ‘they get drunk and leave the bar together’,” Hotch said, not even looking up at the file he was skimming through. Hotch was one of the only ones who hadn’t put money into this whole thing, but he was still very well informed. “You all should really hide the whiteboard the bets are on a little bit better.”

Rossi was about to defend himself when you walked through the glass doors of the BAU. A hush fell over the room and they watched as your smile melted into realization and then nervousness.

You walked over to the bouquet and gingerly took the card, but you didn’t even get to read it when the first sneeze came. Then the next and the next, and pretty soon your eyes were watery, your nose running, and your throat was so scratchy that you sounded like you smoked four packs a day.

You tried to focus on your work, but the constant sneezing and needing to get up to blow your nose was seriously disrupting your productivity. You could barely focus because it felt like a head cold that just wouldn’t go away. Your pollen allergy was something you’d had your whole life, and when they hit, they hit bad.

The flowers were gorgeous and such a sweet gesture, but you didn’t even have the chance to really appreciate them while you could barely breathe through your nose. You were sure you were just a distraction

A hand on your shoulder made you jump, and you whipped around to see Hotch looking down at you with concern. You sighed. “I’m sorry, Agent Hotchner,” you said, your voice nasally. “I usually keep allergy meds in my bag, but it’s not pollen season and I—”

“Go home, agent,” Hotch interrupted you gently. “Get some rest. You can come back tomorrow when you feel better.”

“No, m’fine I just need to—” You cut yourself off this time with another sneeze, and then all you could do was agree with Hotch. “Yeah, I’m gonna go home. Thank you.”

You took the bouquet and walked over to Penelope, handing the glass vase over to her. “Will you please tell Derek that these are beautiful and that I’m so sorry—” You sneezed three times in a row, and by then you were too exhausted to even try talking anymore, so you just groaned and waved goodbye to the rest of Derek’s friends before dragging yourself out of the bullpen.

The next thirty minutes went on as usual, until Derek walked into the bullpen. He had been gone all morning doing a profiling seminar for academy recruits, so he had missed your quick descent into your allergic reaction.

His face fell slightly when he saw your empty desk, and it fell even more when he saw the flowers he had bought sitting on the corner of Prentiss’s desk and his entire team talking amongst themselves.

Derek walked up to them, a frown etched on his face. “Did they not show up for work today?” he asked.

“I sent them home,” Hotch explained, and if Derek didn’t know any better, he could have sworn that he saw the hint of a smirk on the corner of Hotch’s mouth.

Spencer’s smirk, on the other hand, was not even close to being hidden. “Hey Morgan, did you know that pollen allergies affect up to 20 million adults? And sunflowers and flowers in the aster family are considered some of the worst flowers for people who suffer with pollen allergies, since the pollen is so easily dispersed by the wind.”

Realization set in Derek and he cursed under his breath. You had mentioned once in passing that you liked the look of sunflowers, so he had assumed that those were the best flowers to get you. Clearly, he was wrong.

Noticing his dejected look, Garcia quickly interjected. “But they said that they’re beautiful and they looked like they really loved them,” she comforted. “And they wanted me to tell you that they’re sorry.”

Derek shook his head. How did he not know that you were allergic? That seemed like a pretty big thing. “No, they have nothing to be sorry for. I’m going to go wipe down their desk, make sure that it’s clean for them tomorrow.”

The team watched as Derek went over to your desk, taking his time to make sure that there was no flower residue left. They all quickly went back to discussing the bet, changing up their predictions now that they had more evidence to go off of.

Surprisingly, instead of going back to his office, Hotch spoke up. “Morgan isn’t used to being told no. He’s going to break down and beg.”

The team looked at Hotch incredulously. “I’ve never seen Morgan beg for anything,” JJ pointed out, and Hotch just shrugged.

“Well, are you willing to put your money where your mouth is?” Prentiss pressed.

Hotch sighed and shut the file he was holding. “I try not to make a habit out of betting on my subordinates' love lives.”

Rossi rolled his eyes. “He knows he’s wrong, he just wants to be a contrarian,” he told the team, baiting Hotch.

Hotch narrowed his eyes slightly. If anybody else had said that, he would have been able to walk away, but this was Rossi. So Hotch reached into his pocket and pulled out a twenty from his wallet.

“None of this goes on any sort of record.”

~~~~~~~

“Derek Morgan, you got shot?”

You stood up from your desk as soon as you saw Derek and his team walk through the glass doors. It was way after hours, but the news of a shoot out at their last crime scene got back to you, and there was no way you were going to be able to go home knowing that Derek got hurt.

The rest of the team all shared a glance and quickly dispersed, giving you and Derek as much privacy as possible.

Derek made his way over to you, trying to look like he was in less pain than he actually was. “Don’t worry, hot stuff,” he told you, slumping down into his seat. “It just hit my vest.”

You stormed over to where he was sitting, worry evident on your face. “Yeah, I’ve been shot in the vest before!” you reminded him. “It still hurts like hell! What were you thinking?”

Derek forced a smile and held your hand in one of his own. “Baby, I’m okay. Really. I could even show you, if you wanted proof. Then you can stare at my abs without feeling guilty.” He took his free hand and started to lift up his shirt, and you quickly yanked your hand away from his.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, already in the process of storming away from him. “I cannot believe that you are seriously hitting on my right now. You just got shot and you’re asking me out? Agh!”

You started to walk away but Derek caught your hand just in time, laughing as he did. “Okay, don’t go, I’m sorry. I just…” he trailed off, suddenly getting serious. “I just really needed to see your smile.”

You mustered up the best smile you could. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Derek let out a long, audible exhale. “So am I,” he admitted. “I’ve never been more glad to be here doing paperwork.”

You rubbed your hands on the tops of your thighs. “I have some leftover takeout that I had for lunch. How about I heat that up and we can share it while I help you with your work?”

“You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.”

You shook your head. “No, I’ll stay. I have nothing else to do.”

Derek grinned and kissed the top of your hand. “You’re too good to me.”

You smirked. “I know.”

Pretty soon, the two of you were hunched over his desk, sharing bites of dinner and chatting easily as you trudged through paperwork.

You quickly learned that he liked to read Kurt Vonnegut and that his eagle tattoo was because of a nickname he had gotten in college. You told him about your fear of the ocean and the time you accidentally set off your high school’s fire sprinkler system during chemistry.

It was nice to be able to just talk to him. It felt like you and him had been friends for years and years, not just the past two months. This Derek Morgan was different from any other version of him, and you loved it. If you didn’t already have the biggest crush on him, this just solidified it. You really, really liked him, and you really, really wanted him to just ask you on a date already.

As the night went on, the two of you had moved closer and closer, until your shoulders bumped and your legs were pressed up against each other. If you both turned your faces to look at each other, your noses would brush. And from there, it would only be a few centimeters until your lips would be on each other…

“Thank you for helping me with this,” he said suddenly, breaking you out of your fantasy. He turned towards you, and you could feel his hot breath on your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “You didn’t have to stay, but… it meant a lot that you did.”

You smiled and tried to control your erratic heartbeat. “It was no problem. I’m happy to do it, anytime. Are you feeling any better?”

“A little,” he admitted. “But do you know what would make me feel even better?”

You finally turned to look at him, and his face was so much closer than you expected. “What is that?” you whispered, unable to force yourself to speak any louder.

Derek’s lips quirked up in a smile and he moved impossibly closer to you. His lips were brushing against yours, and all you had to do was lean in just a little bit. Then he met your eyes, and they really did sparkle, and for the first time in his adult life, Derek lost all of his nerve.

“You could kiss it better,” he suggested. “Because you are much hotter than any of the EMTs at the scene.” Derek grimaced internally, knowing that he came off sounding like an asshole. All he had to do was ask you on a date. It should have been easy. So why couldn’t he?

You closed your eyes and sighed exasperatedly, pulling away. “Wow, fumbled at the five yard line,” you teased, trying to hide your disappointment. You had thought that Derek and you were really having a moment, but maybe he really just didn’t want strings attached.

Derek frowned slightly, but tried to laugh it off. It was the first time that he thought he actually had a chance with you, and he blew it. “Yeah, I guess I did, huh?”

You fought a smile as you stood up out of your chair. “Mhm. But there’s always tomorrow. And since you’ve had such a rough past few days…”

You spun Derek’s chair around so that he was facing you, and you placed your hands on the arms of his chair, leaning over him. The two of you kept eye contact for what felt like ten years, and his cologne was making you dizzy. Slowly, you pressed a lingering kiss right on the corner of his lips. Derek’s breath got caught in his throat as you pulled yourself away, albeit on shaky legs.

“And that’s all the lovin’ you’re getting from me tonight,” you teased.

Derek leaned back in his chair, his hand over his heart in what looked to be a dramatic display of affection. In truth, he was trying to calm his rapid heartbeat however he could. “Oh, light of my life,” he cooed. “That’s more than enough. It’s the only win I’ve gotten all week.”

~~~~~~~

It had been a few days since your night in the office with Derek, and he hadn’t tried anything, which worried you. He wasn’t avoiding you, and the two of you still exchanged pleasantries throughout the day, but he wasn’t flirting with you anymore.

Part of you wondered if you were too harsh with him that night, if you should have just kissed him and gone home with him. But within the past few weeks, your infatuation with Derek Morgan had turned into a full blown crush, as juvenile as it sounded, and you did not want to be another notch in his bedpost. So you were willing to wait it out, to see if you would actually say the words: “Do you want to go out with me?”.

As if you had summoned him, Derek Morgan wheeled his chair over to your desk and put down a coffee cup from your favorite little cafe in front of you.

“Iced vanilla latte with oat milk?”

“You know both of my coffee orders?” you grinned. “I’m impressed.”

“Consider it a bribe,” Derek said, and you raised your eyebrow as a response.

“A bribe?”

“Please go out with me,” Derek asked, trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “Pretty please. This was fun for a while, but now you are the only thing I think about. I can’t do my job, and I can barely sleep. I feel like I’m going crazy. You are so hot and so smart and so funny. Please let me take you on a date.”

The smile that grew on your face was so big that your cheeks started to hurt. “I’d love that.”

Derek seemed shocked that his attempt actually worked, and he blinked a few times just to make sure he heard you correctly. “Seriously? It’s a yes?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, taking a sip of the coffee Derek got you. “You finally asked me. Of course I said yes.”

“All I’ve been doing the past few weeks has been asking you,” he pointed out.

You hummed to yourself as you scrunched up your nose. “No. You told me that we were going on a date, asked me to have sex with you twice, and the rest of the times, you just used pick up lines. This is the first time you ever actually asked.”

Derek stared at your wordlessly, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out what to say. Finally, he landed on: “That’s all it took?”

“Yup,” you replied, popping the ‘p’. “Although, I do want to hear more about my eyes and the meteor shower.”

Derek let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head as he did. “I will be sure to tell you all about it. And more. I’ll pick you up at 8?”

You were practically beaming as you watched Derek stand back up. “That sounds perfect. Oh, and Derek? I hope you still have those candles out and ready to use.”

“Baby, I never put them away.” Derek winked at you before walking back to his desk. Prentiss was mumbling something about owing Hotch money, but Derek was so high up on cloud 9 that he couldn’t be bothered to care.

“See Reid,” Derek said as he took his seat at his desk. “That’s what we call ‘playing the long game’.”

“Finally,” Spencer grumbled, his nose buried in some book Derek didn’t recognize. “Took you long enough to realize.”

Derek’s eyebrows furrowed together. “You knew?”

Spencer scoffed, flipping the page of the book he was reading. “I knew from the first time they rejected you.”

Derek leaned forward, placing his elbows on his desk. “Man, why didn’t you tell me?”

Spencer finally looked up from his book, his eyebrow quirked up. “You were ‘playing the long game’,” he quoted in a bad impression of Derek’s voice. “And since I’m running it, I get a cut of the entire betting pool, no matter who won, so it was in my best interest to keep it going as long as possible.”

Derek shook his head in disbelief. “I see. That pretty face of yours is hiding an evil genius.”

Spencer hummed in agreement and went back to his book. There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. “They want you to take them to that Mediterranean place two blocks down.”

“Okay, there is no way you know that,” Derek groaned, rolling his eyes.

“You don’t have to take my advice, but you should. Clearly, you’re helpless,” Spencer shrugged, and Derek laughed as he threw a crumpled piece of paper at him.

When Derek picked you up that night, he made sure that the flowers he brought you were hypoallergenic, and the Mediterranean place ended up being the right choice, not that he would ever admit that to Spencer.

And he did, for the record, make sure to set out those candles he promised, but at the end of the night, the two of you were too busy tearing off each other’s clothes to even bother lighting them.

#derek morgan #derek morgan fanfic #derek morgan fanfiction #derek morgan imagine #criminal minds imagine #derek morgan x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #emily prentiss #david rossi #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #jennifer jareau #my writing

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hookingminor · 3 years

Text

invisible string - cale makar

a/n: another old fic rewritten for our fav defenseman sorry the gif I found is so large I could not find any horizontal ones I liked that fit my aesthetic rip

word count: 3.6k

warnings: alcohol, very brief mentions of blood/injury

summary: based on taylor swift’s invisible string

You were going to miss this park.

Every Saturday afternoon you come here. Most of the time, you spent your day underneath the large oak tree planted in the center of the park, nose deep in whatever book you were currently reading. This month’s choice was I’ll Give You The Sun. Occasionally, you would do homework or take a nap, but your favorite thing to do was read. This oak tree was your favorite spot in all of Calgary, and you were really going to miss it.

After five years in Calgary, you were finally moving back home to Denver. Your family moved around a lot as your dad was transferred frequently, but your true home was Denver. You hadn’t been back there since you were six, but it was still home.

Calgary was always temporary. You knew eventually you’d pack up and leave, your parents dragging you along with them because you were only sixteen and had no choice, but it got exhausting after a while. You just wanted to stay somewhere.

Even though you knew your time in Calgary was limited, it didn’t stop you from falling in love with the city.

On the Saturdays that you spent tucked away underneath the tree, you always let your mind wander into daydreams of meeting someone there. You dreamed of being swept away in a whirlwind of a romance, and it all started with meeting someone at the park. All your daydreams could probably be tied back to the numerous romances you continuously read or due to the fact you longed for a teenage love, but what could you say? You were a hopeless romantic. Maybe it would be someone walking their dog or an afternoon jogger running into you or a lost tourist asking for directions. Either way, you thought it would be the most romantic meet-cute, under your special tree.

Five years passed, though, and your dreams of meeting someone dwindled until the only reasons you went to the park were purely for peace and quiet. Now, you were spending your last day in Calgary in your favorite spot, soaking up the sunshine as you finished your latest book.

On the last page, five paragraphs from being done, you heard a loud scream.

Your head snapped up, concentration broken as you searched around for the origin of the noise. Lo and behold, off in the distance, you saw the form of a boy rollerblading down the bike trail. There must have been some sticks or rocks on the path because the boy kept shouting as he wailed his arms around, unable to stop.

You watched as he continued stumbling for a few seconds before he careened off the trail and into the grass, tumbling onto the ground before rolling into a nearby tree.

Initially, your jaw dropped in shock, a soft gasp escaping as you covered your mouth with your hand. You waited a few seconds, watching for movement, and then you heard the pained groans coming from the injured boy.

The boy gradually pushed himself up by his hands, and you could see the bloody scrapes on his forearms even from your distance away. He slowly got back up on his feet, limping across the grass as he made his way back to the trail.

Not being able to help yourself, you began laughing at his misfortune. Now that you knew he was okay, the screaming and fall replayed in your mind, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.

You thought you were far enough away that he wouldn’t be able to hear you, but you were sadly mistaken. The boy’s head turned to the sound of your laughter, and he followed it until his eyes met yours. You stopped laughing, but the smile on your face refused to fall as you took in his disheveled state.

He watched you try to hide your amused smile to no avail. It only took a few seconds of chuckling while directly staring at him before he returned your smile with one of his own. You saw a flash of teeth and the corner of his lips pulled into a smirk. He gave you one last glance, shaking his head slightly before turning back towards the direction he’d come from. You watched his figure rollerblade back down the path, avoiding the obstructions this time, and disappear from your vision.

The boy rollerbladed to the park the next Saturday. He skated by the same spot where he fell last week and glanced over to the centered oak tree, hoping to see you again, but you were nowhere to be found.

Cale couldn’t sleep. It seemed like no matter what he did, he just couldn’t fall asleep. The team had put him in a hotel for a few weeks while they worked on finding him a more permanent residence, but despite the comfort of the hotel bed, he didn’t find the mattress agreeable.

He’d been in Denver for two weeks now and he’d yet to see anything in the city besides the arena. His days were full of hockey practices and meetings, and his evenings were full of extra training at the gym. The latter was his own personal choice; he didn’t want to squander his chance at playing in the NHL and felt that he needed to train a little harder, being new and all.

He tossed and turned in bed for two hours before finally giving up. Sleep obviously wasn’t going to come to him soon, so he might as well kill some time instead.

Pulling out his phone, Cale searched ‘diners near me’ into Google and scrolled through the list of options. He selected the one nearest to him that was also open twenty-four hours, entered the address into maps, threw on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and was out of the door within three minutes.

The chilly, brisk walk to the diner took ten minutes from the hotel. Cale hadn’t been in Denver long, but he knew the weather was going to agree with him, if only because he had so much experience with the bitter cold Calgary winters.

A bell dinged above his head as he entered through the front door. Cale glanced around the small diner, noticing a few old truckers at the counter, a young teenage couple near the window, and a girl his age tucked away into a corner booth writing into a notebook.

A middle-aged woman with graying hair approached him at the front, a menu in her hand.

“Just one?” She asked him, noticing his lost puppy look. Cale nodded his head in agreement, following the lady to a secluded booth.

She set down the menu in front of him before pulling out a mug to pour him a cup of coffee.

“New around here?” She asked him as his eyes read the menu slowly.

“Is it that obvious?” He replied with an awkward chuckle.

“We usually have a small group of regulars. Your ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look is a dead giveaway,” she said with a warm smile. “I’ll give you a few minutes to decide.”

The woman walked back behind the counter, serving more coffee to the truckers. He saw one cook in the back kitchen ,but other than those two, no one else was working. Probably because it was a little past two in the morning on a Wednesday.

He took his time reading over the menu; he couldn’t decide if he wanted a breakfast platter or a nice burger with fries. He’d narrowed it down to two options when he saw you shuffle out of the corner booth, backpack slung over your shoulders.

You walked his way, the only path to the front door was past his table. His eyes connected with yours, and you gave him a warm smile.

Pausing next to his booth, he watched you as you leaned over his shoulder.

“If you’ve never been here before, I highly recommend the caramel and cream cheese French toast. It’s not on the menu, but they’ll make it anyway if you ask. Oh, and get tater tots instead of the hashbrowns, they’re a lot better,” you suggested.

You flashed him a bright smile, and Cale’s eyes lit up. It felt like he’d seen that smile before, an old memory from a dream that he couldn’t quite remember. He wanted to say thank you or maybe ask what your name was, but you continued on your way out the door before he got a chance to reply. His gaze stayed fixed on the swinging bell above the entrance long after he’d watched you turn down the corner and fade into the night.

His trance was broken when he heard the voice of the waitress call out to him.

“So, did you decide on something?” She asked, a knowing grin on her lips.

The two choices Cale was torn between suddenly vanished from his mind; he couldn’t even remember what he wanted to order before you said something. Cale bit his lip and thought about it. French toast really wasn’t on his diet. All he could do was hope that the extra hours he spent in the hotel gym would pay off and negate the sugar-filled and fatty calories he was about to consume.

Closing the menu without a second glance, he turned his attention towards the waitress. “Yeah, I’ll have the caramel and cream cheese french toast with tater tots, please.”

Cale was riding high. The team had just made it to the Stanley Cup finals, and no one could contain their excitement.

Going against the advice of their coaches, a few of them had decided to go out to celebrate. It was nothing big, just a small dive bar on the edge of the city. They wanted to celebrate their hard work, not get so trashed they’d be completely useless for practice tomorrow. They still had their toughest games ahead of them.

The bar was quiet, only a few local patrons were there besides the team. If anyone knew who they were, no one approached them about it. The night passed quickly, laughter and cheers filling the small space as pints of beer were drained.

“Makar, grab the next round,” his captain ordered, and he was too happy to do so. Cale was the resident golden retriever on the team. Someone would say ‘jump’ and Cale would ask ‘how high?’ but he didn’t feel used. He loved being a part of a team. So, he made his way across the room to the bar and ordered two more pints.

For you, it had been a hell of a week. And not in a good way. You finished your Bachelor’s degree almost two weeks ago, but the stress didn’t end when you turned in your last finals. Work was awful, but you still had another couple months until you began your life as a real career woman. You were stuck there for the rest of the summer, promising your supervisor that you wouldn’t leave during their busiest season just because you’d graduated even though you really wanted to put in your two weeks. It was a mistake to make that promise.

After spending a day running numbers and creating spreadsheets that a ten year old could’ve done, all you wanted right now was a drink: the strongest drink you could think of. Perhaps an entire bottle of whiskey if they’d allow it. Or if you could afford it.

The minute after your shift was over, you were out the door and removing the suffocating blazer before you’d even hit the sidewalk. You began the familiar route to your favorite bar, being that it was close to work, cheap, and almost always empty.

When you entered the small bar, you noticed it was slightly busier than normal. Still relatively quiet, but busier than you were used to. You didn’t let it deter you as you walked directly to the bar.

However, it seemed the universe wasn’t done punishing you because when you were five steps away from the countertop, someone turned around abruptly. A hard body slammed into yours along with half a pint of beer.

“Oh, fuck me!” You exclaimed in distress, throwing your hands up as the beer splashed all over your blouse.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” The culprit said, setting the beers back on the bar behind him. He reached over to grab a handful of napkins and then began patting furiously at your top.

“It’s fine,” you sighed, “Today just really isn’t my day.” You took the napkins from one of his hands to dry yourself off.

You looked up to face the man who’d drenched you with cheap beer, and you were met with a dazzling pair of blue eyes. They looked familiar, as if you’d seen him before but couldn’t remember where.

He caught your stare, his lips quirking into a smile at the sight of you. Cale felt a tug inside him, like the feeling of butterflies, when he saw your face. Waves of coolness washed over him, and he was lost in your eyes.

“I’m sorry I ruined your shirt,” he said in a daze, unable to look away from you. He really hoped it didn’t come off as creepy, but little did he know you felt the same way.

“It’s okay, I wasn’t attached to it anyway,” you said, all your previous anger leaving your body. It was actually one of your nicer tops that would cost way too much money to dry clean now, but you weren’t thinking about that.

“Do I know you?” You both asked at the same time. The coincidence caused you two to burst out laughing, and he swore he’d heard that laugh before.

“How about I buy you a drink to make up for this?” He asked, beaming from ear to ear.

Your eyes twinkled as you nodded your head, and Cale felt his heart burst at your smile.

A year passed in a blurry haze. The night out at the bar turned into a two hour conversation with the stranger who’d spilled beer all over you. He apologized profusely the entire night and introduced himself to make up for it. He only ordered you two drinks, but you spent hours together laughing.

You told him about your hellish day and complained about work, and he recalled the wins and upcoming games he had in the next couple weeks. Soon, you were exchanging life stories and you found out he was originally from Calgary. You discussed your hobbies and interests outside of work, the best movies you’ve seen recently, and where in Denver you could find the most authentic Mexican food.

Eventually, it neared one in the morning, and Cale had to get home for practice in the morning. As much as he wanted to stay longer to talk to you, he knew he had to get going before his teammates ratted him out tomorrow.

“Do you mind if I walk you home?” He asked, the drinks between you finished long ago. It sounded a little odd asking a stranger he just met if he could essentially follow her home, but he hoped he didn’t give off stalker vibes.

“I’d like that,” you replied with a smile. It sounded a little odd agreeing to let a stranger you just met have your address, but something tugged at your heartstrings and told you to take the leap.

When he dropped you off outside of your apartment, he had asked for your number. That night turned into a first date and that first date turned into many dates. Cale easily swept you off your feet, and it was even easier to fall in love with him.

After years of dating the wrong guys, of being burned and cheated on and lied to, the world had sent you the perfect man. A man with a soul equivalent to a thousand beaming rays of sunshine all wrapped up in perfect blonde hair and blue eyes and rosy cheeks.

He did everything for you. He sent you flowers randomly, surprised you with your favorite takeout, and took you on the most extravagant dates. You went to his games, house sat his plants when he was on roadtrips, and left him little notes in his suitcases to find when he was away. You knew within two months of dating that he was the one you were going to end up with. Cale was your forever.

There were no awkward phases in your dating life, no uncertainties or questions about what you were as a couple. Cale was as taken with you as you were with him, and you both knew what you wanted out of your relationship. It felt like you knew each other for years, like he’d always been there in the back of your mind, just out of reach and waiting for you to find him.

You didn’t know how much you believed in fate, but it felt like the universe made him specifically for you. He understood you like no one did and you could communicate with him without ever saying a word. If soulmates and other halves did exist, there was no doubt in your mind that Cale was your missing piece.

It was a year after you began dating that Cale invited you back home with him. He wanted you to spend a few weeks over the summer with him and his family in Calgary.

Cale was elated to introduce you to his family. He planned on marrying you one day, and he wanted everyone to meet the woman who’d stolen his heart. Everything about you consumed him: your hair, your eyes, your smile. There wasn’t a single part of you he wasn’t madly in love with and there was nothing about you he’d change. It was a long time coming, you going home with him, and you couldn’t be more excited about it.

He spent the first few days showing you around his favorite childhood hangouts, the rinks he used to skate on and the pizza places he used to frequent with his friends. He showed you his high school, secret hidden spot near a small lake, and the best ice cream shop in all of Calgary.

It was one day when you were walking through the old park you used to read where you shared your favorite spot.

“When I lived here, I used to spend every weekend under that oak tree,” you said randomly, pointing out to the large tree across the grass.

“Really? I used to rollerblade through this park sometimes. One day I completely ate shit on this path,” he chuckled, remembering the painful memory. “I sprained my wrist and arm. Couldn’t play hockey for three weeks.”

“How old were you?” You asked curiously, thinking back to the day you saw a boy fall.

“Sixteen, maybe?” He replied, brows furrowing in thought. You and Cale were the same age.

“This might sound crazy, but I think I saw you fall that day,” you said. Cale turned to look into your eyes.

“Were you the girl laughing at me under the tree?” He asked skeptically. The blush forming on your cheeks and the way you broke eye contact answered the question for you.

“It was you! I always thought it was rude how you didn’t offer to help me,” he said with a hearty laugh.

“To be fair, I was worried when you fell down. But then you got up and seemed okay, so I didn’t bother,” you said defensively.

“Still, you sat there and laughed at me while I bled on the grass,” he teased, slugging your arm lightly.

“Well, it seems that everything turned out okay for you,” you said, rolling your eyes dramatically.

“Yeah, it did,” he replied wistfully, reaching down to hold your hand with his.

The two of you walked through the rest of the park, but your gaze kept flickering back to the center field where your tree sat, your brain replaying the daydreams you had about meeting your true love underneath that tree. A nostalgic smile spread across your face, and Cale noticed your suddenly cheery mood.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked, a playful grin of his own appearing. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw you smile.

“Nothing,” you replied, keeping the tender secret to yourself.

Three years later, Cale took you home with him over the short winter break he got while the All-Star Game happened. You walked through the park together, a tradition that you created ever since that first summer back.

The air was cool and crisp, the skies a beautiful shade of purple and pink against the blue background. He led you over to your favorite tree, pulling you from the usual path you took around the park. In all the times you’ve been to the park with him, you’d never actually taken him to sit under your tree.

You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach at the feeling of being in your favorite spot with your favorite person. Your heart rate began to pick up as Cale dropped your hand to stand across from you, giving you a knowing smile.

When he took a step back, you felt the tears begin to well up in your eyes as if your heart knew where this was heading before your brain could process it. Cale lowered himself onto one knee before he pulled out a small velvet box from his coat pocket, opening it to reveal a diamond ring.

The fantasies you created in your mind all those years ago finally came to fruition that snowy day in January. All along you knew that one day you’d meet the love of your life under this tree even if you hadn’t realized it at the time, and you thanked whatever gods existed for the invisible strings that tied you to Cale.

#cale makar #cale makar imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #my writing #avs8

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tennessoui · 3 years

Note

KUWSK is killing me with cuteness like I literally feel my heart clench with every one shot. I was wondering if you could maybe do a lil one shit on the aftermath of the aftermath of the router incident 😭 after obi-wan clarifies he does in fact love the kids and doesn’t want them to leave…I just need anakin to tell obi-wan he wants to stay… love this sm

oh bless, i'm happy to hear you like them!!! this is a bit sappy and also um definitely unedited so 🙈🙈but i think this includes the most obikin content of them all so far which is wild seeing as how my google doc for KUWSK is literally 15k at this point.

(here is the aftermath of the Router Incident, for context)

(1.6k)

Comforting and calming the children, that’s the easy part. Children forget grievances like water rolls off a duck’s back. Adults are trickier.

Adults don’t just forget and forgive.

Obi-Wan finishes the book he’s been reading to the kids. Last night, they had been on Chapter Two. Tonight, the kids are asleep by Chapter Four, but he keeps reading, all the way through the denouement at the end of the book. He knows he’ll have to go back to Chapter Four tomorrow night, knows that he may have bought himself some time but not enough time to make a difference.

But if Anakin really wanted to leave, there was nothing on God’s green earth that could stop him.

He places the book on the nightstand between the two beds and quietly stands, adjusting his glasses.

Finding and signing a lease can happen very, very quickly. He suddenly wants to wake the kids up, just to read another chapter. There are so many books left to finish, but finding and signing a lease can happen...can happen very, very quickly.

How many more chapters do they have left?

The entire time he spends walking down the stairs, he’s hoping that Anakin will have already gone to bed. But the light in the living room is still on, which means Anakin doesn’t want to keep ignoring the elephant in the room, which means in turn that either Obi-Wan can continue down the hall at the bottom of the staircase to his own room and just pretend that he doesn’t know Anakin’s waiting up for him, or he can confront the situation and perhaps even act his age.

He goes to the living room. If he only has a certain block of time left with Anakin in his presence, he’s not going to waste any of it hiding in his room.

Anakin is standing with his arms crossed, looking at the mantle of the fireplace and the photos lined up there. His face is hidden from view, but his posture is stiff.

“The children are asleep,” Obi-Wan says, mostly to announce himself. Which he knows is stupid, seeing as how Anakin most definitely heard him come down the stairs. But suddenly he wants Anakin’s eyes on him quite desperately. He will, in fact, do most anything to have the man look at him. His eyes are so expressive. His eyes are so beautiful.

Obi-Wan shakes the thought from his head and reminds himself of what’s very quickly become his mantra over the past few months. You will not make your housemate into your rebound.

It had sounded so logical when Quinlan had suggested it. So easy to agree to.

“Thanks,” Anakin says, turning to face him. It’s awkward. Anakin hasn’t thanked him for putting the children to bed for months.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan replies, coming into the room completely. “I--”

“I--” Anakin starts, but cuts himself off when Obi-Wan speaks. “You go.”

“Ah,” Obi-Wan stutters. “Well. I. I meant to say. That I...I understand. Obviously. If you were to. Want to leave. You must have had time by now to...have found a place that could. Better fit your needs.”

Anakin clears his throat. “I guess,” he says. “Yeah. I’ve. I’ve looked.”

“You have?” he asks, much too quickly and with much too much painful interest dripping off the words. “And have you? Found a place?”

Anakin hesitates and looks askance at the frames on the fireplace. “No,” he admits. “Not a place that’s. That’s anything like here.”

Obi-Wan’s smile feels so forced on his face that it actually hurts to hold. “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, Anakin.”

Anakin looks at him as if he’s lost touch with reality. “Obi-Wan, come on, you have to know.”

Obi-Wan stays quiet. He doesn’t know anything. Just a day ago he had wondered absentmindedly how they were going to deal with a teenaged Luke and Leia both wanting the singular second floor bathroom in the mornings before school.

And now--well.

“You have to know,” Anakin insists in the face of Obi-Wan’s silence. “I would stay here. If it were up to just me.”

“If not you then who is it up to, Anakin?” he begs and then tries to pretend that he isn’t begging by rubbing a hand over his beard and turning away. He’s faced immediately with a picture of the twins on Christmas morning, passed out in the foreground as Obi-Wan is in the background trying to put together one of their new toys.

It had been one of the most frustrating mornings of his life. He wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“Do you...do you really think...that I don’t--that I hate the twins? Anakin, you have to know I love them--”

“No, I’m sorry,” Anakin quickly says. “I never said that, Luke was just--he--”

“He made his own conclusions,” Obi-Wan finishes.

The other man nods gratefully. “Obi-Wan, I know you love the kids, I know you do. It’s not. It’s not the kids.”

“So if it’s not you, and it’s not the children, it must be me,” Obi-Wan concludes dully. Of course. Of course it’s him.

Anakin doesn’t immediately say no, and that pause is enough of an admittance that Obi-Wan has to pause to take several deep breaths to regain his composure.

“You’ll get tired of it,” Anakin finally says quietly. “You never signed up for us, for this for this long. I don’t want to impose. I--” he turns away to stare at the mantle, where a picture of the four of them after one of the twins’ school plays sits proudly in the middle. “I don’t want to see you growing to resent m--us. You shouldn’t have to tell us to leave. It’s your house.”

“Anakin, if you think it’s just my house still, after all these months, then I don’t know what to tell you,” Obi-Wan scoffs. “Other than to look around. “There’s stains on the ceiling I didn’t put there, we never managed to get Leia’s crayon drawings fully off the walls in the hallway, and I can’t walk twenty paces without tripping over some sort of mechanical part I have no idea what to do with if I try to pick it up off the floor. I haven’t thought of this as my house in months.”

Anakin ducks his head, as if he’s being scolded. “I’m sorry,” he says, barely louder than a whisper.

“I’m not,” Obi-Wan wants to yell, but he’s mindful of the children asleep just a floor away. He walks closer to Anakin instead, and speaks with a quiet sort of intensity. “I’m not, Anakin. And if you leave, it will still not be my house. It will just be--”

He purses his lips and sets his jaw.

“What?” Anakin asks, coming forward to meet him in the middle of the room. His hand twitches as if he wants to reach out and touch Obi-Wan, but he doesn’t.

Obi-Wan shakes his head and swallows, but he figures he’s already committed to this sort of confession. There’s nowhere else to go from here. “A house I live in,” he admits quietly. “A big, quiet place that I’ll dread coming home to.”

Anakin looks speechless, and Obi-Wan tries to smile. He can’t--he shouldn’t pressure Anakin. He’s said his position. If Anakin truly had only been afraid of overstaying his welcome, surely Obi-Wan has assuaged those fears.

But the fact that he hasn’t said anything must certainly mean that Anakin harbors other reservations. Ones he doesn’t want to share with Obi-Wan.

Very well.

“I will not...pressure you,” he tells the man. “I understand. I do. I--”

Anakin cuts him off and grabs his shoulder. “Obi-Wan, I want to. The children want to. I don’t want to leave. I’ve never had…”

Obi-Wan waits on tenterhooks for the end of the sentence, as Anakin searches for the words.

“...a home that feels like this,” Anakin finishes quietly, his hand slipping off Obi-wan’s shirt. Obi-Wan misses the muted heat of the touch immediately.

“Then don’t leave,” he pleads, crowding forward into Anakin’s space. “Anakin, stop looking. Would it help...would it help to quiet your fears if we were to draw up some sort of lease?”

“A lease?” Anakin asks, sounding strange as he looks down at Obi-Wan.

“Just something that says we’ll talk about this every year. To check in and make sure we both still want to live here?” Obi-Wan knows his answer won’t change. Probably won’t ever change. But if it’ll help calm Anakin, he’ll sign whatever.

Anakin seems to think about this for a minute, mouth pursed and eyes downcast. Obi-Wan wants to thumb at the moue of his lips, wants to press against his wrinkled brow until the skin smooths out.

No.

“Alright,” Anakin finally agrees. “We can draw up...a lease tomorrow then. But it won’t be legally binding, alright? As soon as you want us out, tell me and I’ll start looking. Please, Obi-Wan. That’s my only condition.”

Anakin’s only condition to stay is that Obi-Wan will tell him as soon as he wants him to leave?

Does the other man know the extent that Obi-Wan would have tried to go to convince Anakin to stay?

“Alright,” he says, instead of anything else he’s thinking. “Of course. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Anakin repeats. “Okay. Um,” he backs up. “Goodnight then, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan reaches out and grasps his wrist as soon as he turns to leave. He doesn’t know why. He just. He wants. He doesn’t want to see Anakin go yet. The idea of being alone right now terrifies him in a sort of undefinable way.

“Sit with me?” He says, instead of what he really wants to say, which is thank you, thank you, thank you.

Anakin gives him a sort of half-smile that’s impossible to read. “Sure,” he replies. “I’d like to hear about your day.”

Obi-Wan winces, thinking about how much of his day was spent fretting in Quinlan Vos’ office. “Oh, I’m not entirely sure about that, dear one,” he laughs self-deprecatingly, and Anakin’s smile grows, and Obi-Wan knows that everything is going to be okay.

#u know what #i've noticed in my writing #that i'm just too southern to always pull of obi-wan #the other snippet said something about butter not melting in his mouth #and this one says god's green earth #but i was like 'i Do Not Know How Else To Phrase This'#asks #KUWSK #they finally talk a bit #i think the struggle with them is that both of them think they have the most to lose #which means neither of them wants to risk saying anything #in case they lose something #which is just what i love the most about mutual pining and idiots in love #so im glad it's the dynamic in KUWSK

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syubub · 3 years

Text

May 13th Reading

Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.

Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!

Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.

(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)

So so so so

Let's start.

I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!

Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.

The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?

I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.

The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"

And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.

I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were

Now this part:

"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"

Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.

This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.

Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.

Anyways

He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.

I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.

Now let's begin the monster read.

So. The first row of cards

I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"

Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.

The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.

So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?

Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles

This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.

I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.

Soulmate time

Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.

As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)

Now for the bad boys in the middle

The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.

Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.

FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.

For the row of bottom cards

I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.

Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.

Now to the sides!

Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.

So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)

We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.

The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.

"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"

Now for soulmates cards (same structure)

Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."

Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.

Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"

The last stretch my friends.

So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"

Now we have heaven sent.

""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"

" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."

And free from judgment, free to love

" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."

" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."

" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.

And that's all for the cards but but but.

Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.

So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up

You gotta be fucking with me.

Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.

YOONGGGIIII

Anyway,

I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.

As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"

And then

It hit me

"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"

I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.

The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.

I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat

But Mr smug butt had different plans.

My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????

My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"

Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.

(Asshole)

Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?

To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.

Thanks, buddy.

Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.

My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.

Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!

~~~~

That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.

#bts #bts tarot #bts reactions #yoongi #bts imagines #bts readings #yoongi imagine #bts suga #min suga #suga #min yoongi

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the--descension · 4 years

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i would die for a "how to use html and css to format ao3" lesson from you 👀 no pressure but i'm genuinely in awe :)

Hello! So sorry it’s taken me ages to get to this.

It's no pressure at all! I have tried to cover the basics of HTML/CSS on AO3 here, and instead of writing very extensively about the syntax which is very Google-able, I have tried to include little tips and tricks that have come in handy for me.

This, by no means, is a complete guide but I hope it can get you started with HTML and CSS on AO3!

It got pretty long, so the answer’s below the cut.

Okay, so let’s start at the very beginning, shall we?

What is HTML and CSS?

Well, HTML is Hyper Text Markup Language and CSS is Cascading Style Sheets.

But that is something that probably doesn’t help a lot, so to put it very simply, HTML provides the structure of a webpage while CSS does the styling, that is, fixing how and where the elements should exist, how to shape them, how to space them, all so that the webpage looks great.

Something to keep in mind is that all web pages can run only on HTML but the end result is not going to be something that’s nice to look at. In fact, without CSS, the page might not even make a lot of sense. Here, take a look at Tumblr itself with all CSS disabled (there’s a very useful extension called Web Developer that allows you to do this):

Not very nice to look at, but all the elements of the page are here only with the help of HTML.

And look, this is what the above section looks like with CSS enabled:

This was just a brief visual walkthrough to show what HTML and CSS really do, but let’s move on to HTML and CSS in the world of AO3.

Where does the HTML and CSS go on AO3?

The HTML part of the code is put into the text box when you post a new story/new chapter. You must have noticed the two options — Rich Text and HTML — and it’s important to have HTML selected for AO3 to identify the HTML tags that you’ll be using.

All your content goes into this textbox. Whatever text you may be writing, whatever images you may be hosting, whatever links you might want to add— everything goes here.

Now, for styling all the content that you’ve put into the textbox, you need CSS, and that happens through work skins. It’s super simple, and all you have to do is go to Skins on your AO3 panel and then to My Work Skins, and then create a new work skin where you can dump all of your CSS code.

Okay, so onward we go.

How to HTML and CSS?

I’m no expert in web design and my knowledge mostly comes from Coursera, one summer internship, one class in college, and extensive online searching. And, I’ll tell you this, the most I have learnt is from extensive online searching.

Because at the very heart of it, web design is not so much about understanding and applying concepts (as with other coding languages) but more about visualizing elements and testing them out. I must add that this is completely my opinion as a person who rather enjoys data structures and algorithms as compared to web dev, and I’m certain that seasoned web developers will disagree with my views here.

Right, so the online searching. The best in the business when it comes to explaining HTML/CSS is www.w3schools.com. They have sample code, short and sweet explanations, and an online IDE to test your code. Really, it’s a win-win situation.

Alrighty, so now you know where to look for your HTML tags and CSS properties but how do you figure out which ones to use?

HTML Tags

I’ll talk about the HTML that’s required for coding on AO3 exclusively.

But before that— every HTML document has two main parts: the <head> and the <body>. But here on AO3, we only code the <body> which, as its name suggests, holds the content that’s going to appear on the browser. The <head> part is not required for AO3 work skins at all.

Okay, so how to code HTML on AO3? Well, your best friends are going to be the container tags such as <div> and <span>, and the paragraph tag <p>. What these tags do is they create areas on your browser — you can imagine them as small rectangles and squares — where you can put in your content via HTML, and then later style using CSS.

See this? The entire shaded area belongs to a <div> which is styled by a CSS class called “tumblr” (to keep things simple, we’ll only focus on CSS classes, and not id’s. It won’t really hamper developing a workskin in any way.)

This above belongs to a <p> that is styled by a CSS class “tumblrbody”. And, this <p> exists within the <div> mentioned above.

Here’s a <span> styled using the CSS class “tumblrtags”, which comes within the <div> and <p> we just discussed.

Basically, the idea is that the entire page will have to be divided into all these subsections, nested within each other if required, so that they can then be styled using CSS.

Other HTML tags that come in handy are the <a> and <img> tags.

The <a> or anchor tag is used to embed links. Want your reader to be led to a separate page while they’re reading your story? This is it. (This one’s quite common, and authors use them quite frequently in their notes to link to their Twitter/Tumblr etc.)

The <img> tag is used to embed images as the name suggests.

See how the picture is within an <img> tag styled by a CSS class “tumblrimg”?

Again, I’m not talking about the syntax of these tags or how they have to be written because that’s something which can very easily be found on w3schools or any other web dev tutorial website.

So, that’s pretty much about HTML. Now, CSS.

CSS Properties

So, when I talk about how most of my web dev happens through thorough internet searching, I’m mostly talking about CSS. Because HTML tags aren’t difficult to remember, they stay in memory when you keep designing web pages, but CSS properties... ugh.

But before we begin, a short note on CSS classes. To simplify matters you can look at them as labels given to your HTML container tags (<div> for example). Once you assign the label to your HTML element, you can then style that label in your CSS, and introduce properties to it which you want to see in your HTML. It basically forms the link between your HTML and CSS.

Say, I have a <div> that I want to style, then I’ll give it a label like this: <div class=”mongoosesurprise”>Your code</div>. The class name is mongoosesurprise, and when I have to style that particular <div>, I’ll have CSS code that looks like this:

Now, about CSS properties.

You see all the words in white followed by a colon? max-width? border? background-image? That’s it— CSS properties. I can never remember if it is maxwidth or max-width, whether it’s margin-right or right-margin, whether it’s padding-right or right-padding, and that’s where the Googling comes in.

Again, like with HTML, I’ll only talk about CSS on AO3. Unlike regular CSS, CSS here always has to start with #workskin. And then, #workskin can be followed by our class name. (The class name must be preceded by a fullstop though, like in the picture above.)

My CSS design procedure is all over the place. I entirely work on the basis of trial and error. I keep adjusting properties like max-width and padding and margin to see how the elements fit best. (It doesn’t take me as long as it did four-five years ago to estimate these values and I’d attribute that to practice and inspecting a lot of web pages. On a related note, it’s great to learn web design by inspecting other pages.)

I realize this isn’t great advice but like I said, it’s always been about trial and error when it comes to CSS. What I can say conclusively is that with properties width, height, display, position, padding, and margin most of your HTML tags will be placed properly. But when it comes to styling, the list is really quite endless. From a number of font-related properties to border, there’s a lot— and, thus, Google.

And, finally, what you must know for HTML/CSS on AO3 is how to host images.

Hosting Images

If you want your work to contain images, it’s best to host them somewhere online. Imgur is a great option; it’s free and really simple to use. Once the image is uploaded, you can get the share links and put it in your HTML <img> tag (under the src attribute— again, very syntactical so I’m not getting into that), or if you want you can put it in your CSS as an attribute for the property “background-image” (like in the code above).

You’ll have to make minor changes to the share link though, that is, add the image extension (.png or .jpg) to the end of the link. Also, sometimes the image doesn’t render if there’s no ‘i’ preceding ‘imgur.com’. Here’s a sample link that works perfectly: http://i.imgur.com/aSMSztl.png.

And, I think that’s pretty much it.

This covers the absolute basics of how to code HTML/CSS on AO3. But I’d like to repeat that by no means is this everything. If there’s a particular area you’d want me to explain, please feel to drop in an ask!

Happy coding!

#antarcticasx #html/css #ao3 #workskins #i'll tag this as #zutara #in case anyone else reading 'it would have been you' wants to know

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everlarkficexchange · 3 years

Text

On the Hunt

Author: @hutchhitched

Prompt 39: Katniss has been bumping into the same stranger (Peeta) for months. When they get stuck in an unfortunate situation together, she decides to be the first to say hello. [submitted by @eiramrelyat / @taylerwrites]

Ratings/Warnings: T

The first time Katniss sees him, he takes her breath away. It’s from afar. He probably doesn’t even catch a glimpse of her, but her whole world tilts off its axis.

She’s not sure why he stands out to her. There’s nothing particularly unique about him. He’s not short or tall or big or small. He’s not drop-dead gorgeous or ugly like a troll. He doesn’t move like an athlete or sparkle with the magic of a performer. He appears normal in every sense of the word, but that doesn’t mean she can’t see how special he really is. At least she thinks he might be—if she had a chance to actually speak to him.

That doesn’t happen, though. She’s too far away when she sees him picking up a loaf of bread, and she can’t seem to move once he’s left her line of sight. She stays frozen in the freezer section (the irony!) for several minutes. Hopefully, everyone else thinks she’s considering her options in breakfast burritos, but she’s actually involved in an out of body experience that follows the young man from the back of the store to the registers, out the door, and into the parking lot where he must load his groceries into his car and drive away. His life is no different, but hers will never be the same.

It has to be because she’s lonely. It’s been a very long time since she’s been in a relationship. In fact, it’s been so long since she’s kissed a man, she kind of wonders if she’s forgotten how to do it. Katniss has never been that popular, but she’s enjoyed her fair share of attention. She tries really hard not to spiral out in the freezer section, but Christ on a cracker! Something about that specimen of manhood has made her question her life’s choices. Why hasn’t she run into him before now? Clearly, she’s been living wrong.

Except, she hasn’t. She’s done absolutely everything she knows to do to be a good person. She supports her little sister and sends money to her mother who needs every speck of help she can get. She has a best friend who’s been by her side since they both lost their fathers when they were barely teenagers. She helps out at a shelter and donates money to the food bank because she knows way too well how hunger can impact a person’s life. In other words, there’s no reason her weekly grocery trip should result in an upheaval to her world. It’s simply not fair, and she plans to file a complaint to who it is that runs fate and destiny. She has a bone to pick.

Somehow, she finds everything on her list and heads to the front of the store. When she gets there, she unloads her groceries and watches as the cashier scans each item. Digging into her wallet, she’s stunned to find she only has a twenty and the total keeps rising. Mortified, she watches as the number climbs to $34.15.

“I don’t have… I mean, can you take off the…”

Trying to figure out what she can live without until her next paycheck, she surveys the food and toiletries. Almost in tears, she stammers for a few seconds before the cashier speaks.

“Don’t worry. Another patron paid it forward. He left a twenty and asked that I use it if anyone needed help. Looks like you could use some.”

“I— I couldn’t. It’s not right.”

“The guy seemed pretty adamant that I only offer it to someone who could use a break. It seems like that could be you today.”

Katniss nodded slowly. “Do you have any idea who it is? I’d like to thank them.”

The cashier shook her head. “Young guy. Stocky, medium height, ashy blonde hair, blue eyes. Very polite. Named Peter, I think. Something like that.”

It’s got to be him. The description’s too similar to be a coincidence. It seems the guy that froze her in place with his looks is as kind and compassionate as he is special. Now, he’s even more intimidating.

She nods her thanks and takes the change and her purchases. The five in her pocket gives her a little joy, but the feeling of not having money still bothers her. Maybe it’s time to get a credit card. She’s been warned off them for so long that she never applied for one, but now, it might be something she should do. Maybe. It makes her nervous to think she could get in financial trouble with it. She’s been poor her entire life. It might be too tempting to resist.

When she makes it back to her apartment, her attempt to unpack her groceries is interrupted frequently by long pauses in which she fantasizes about finding the guy who’s rocked her world and given her daydreams about all the ways she needs to thank him (appropriately and not so much) for the rest of her life. It’s not unrealistic at all. Totally doable, she decides. After all, how hard can it be to find him again? They live in the same town.

****

The answer to that question is that it’s very hard. Difficult isn’t even the word to describe the problem she has in trying to find the Boy With the Bread, which is what she calls him even though he’s definitely an adult. The person she saw from afar was all man if the stretch of his shirt across broad shoulders was any indication. Still, the alliteration makes her smile, so she continues to refer to him as such.

It shouldn’t take so long, but it does. Months pass, and she wonders if she’s made it all up and imagined the creature that changed her life. She keeps her eyes open in public, scans the local news and social media sites, and seriously considers setting up an online dating site just to see if he’s looking for someone. She’s getting desperate, but then fate smiles on her again.

She’s sitting in a coffee shop, something she hardly ever does, when he walks in the door. She doesn’t normally have time for such a mundane, normal activity that other people her age seem to enjoy all the time. She’s usually working during the day, and she has no desire to consume copious amounts of caffeine after 5 pm when she gets off work. Today, though, she has time. She’s taken a half day to run errands and go to the dentist, and she needs the jolt the espresso will give her to survive her reduced shift.

He ducks through the doorway just as she’s taken a sip of her hot beverage, and she almost chokes on the liquid. He shakes the umbrella he’s holding just outside the door and shoves a riot of blonde curls off his forehead that have shrunken up and frizzed from the rain. It’s adorable.

He’s wearing an emerald Henley and faded jeans that hug all the right places. The sight of him freezes her in place, but that doesn’t stop her from tracking him as moves past her. She’s close enough to see his eyes are blue before he marches across the café and approaches a man sitting alone in the corner. They clasp hands and grin at each other, and the vision in green heads to the counter to order.

She’s dumbfounded. Here he is again after so long, and she can’t think of a single thing to say to him or how in the world to actually approach him without making her look absolutely insane. She racks her brain trying to think of an intelligent topic, but she’s jolted from that when the barista walks to the end of the bar and calls a name.

“Peeta! Chai Latte.”

That’s his name, she realizes, and it’s like the sun’s broken through thick, heavy clouds. It’s just unusual enough to fit him and still feel familiar. He smiles at the woman behind the bar and takes the cup from her. He ordered chai, and she files that information away for future reference. He might not like coffee, which seems important.

She’s pondering a trip to the bathroom just so she has an excuse to pass by him when she suddenly understands that he’s leaving. He and his friend are talking as they walk to the door, and she catches the sound of his voice.

“—we can change that, the numbers will—”

His words are swallowed by the rush of traffic outside, but that silky tone she hardly had a chance to listen to has already taken up residence in the part of her brain that creates unrealistic fantasies. She daydreams for longer than she should. In fact, it’s only the vibration of her phone against the table that reminds her she has to get to her job. What a chance encounter, but now she has a name to go with that face.

****

She’s tried to find him again. She’s googled and returned to the coffee shop when she’s had a spare minute or two. She’s asked around and continues to check dating sites. Nothing. She’s found absolutely nothing. Without a last name, she has very little idea how to find out anything else. Frustrated, she goes about her daily life with a weight on her shoulders that shouldn’t be there. He’s a stranger she’s glimpsed only a couple of times.

Frustrated and full of pent-up energy, she joins a gym. There’s nothing quite like working up a good sweat to ease tension and kickstart her brain, so she spends her free time running the track, lifting, and participating in every hot yoga class the establishment offers. After a month, she’s leaner and stronger than ever, but she hasn’t managed to come up with any ideas that might help her find the guy she desperately wants to thank for saving her when she wasn’t sure how she’d eat for a week.

She’s two laps into her normal ten when she glances down from the elevated track and spots a pickup game of three on three basketball on the far court. Three blonde men face off against three with dark hair, one of whom looks remarkably like her best friend Gale Hawthorne, who she hasn’t seen since he left town for a job almost a year ago. As she jogs closer to the court, she realizes it is him teamed up with his brothers. The blonde men look like siblings, too, but she doesn’t spare them much of a glance. She’s got more laps to go, and she doesn’t want to draw any attention to herself. Gale didn’t bother to tell her that he’s in town, and she’s a little miffed by that.

It’s another three passes by the court before it hits her that the blonde men look familiar. She puts on a burst of speed to get back to where she can see the men closeup and almost trips over her own feet when she spies him. It’s the guy. THE guy. The cashier had said Peter, and the barista had called him Peeta. She stops in her tracks and grabs the railing when someone bumps into her from behind.

“Watch it!” he yells as the jogger passes her. “You’re not supposed to stop on the track!”

She dismisses him with a wave and sprints to the nearest stairwell. If she can just catch them… She bounds down the stairs, three at a time, and bursts into a bustling walkway. She dodges and shoves her way free and streaks around the corner to find—

“Catnip! What are you doing here?”

“Gale!” Sweat drips down her forehead and stings her eyes. Cringing, she swipes her hand across her face and tries not to cry. “Where are—? I thought you were playing basketball.”

He throws her a bewildered look and nods like she’s lost it a little. “We were.”

“You’re done?”

“Yeah? We’d been at it for a while. Are you… Have you been watching me?”

Katniss rolls her eyes, although that’s not really very fair. She had noticed him. It’s not like that’s not the case. “Who were you playing with? I saw Vic and Rory, but the blonde guys… Who, er, who were they?”

The expression on his face would be priceless if she weren’t so desperate to find out the information. He looks like he’s swallowed something very, very distasteful, and she tries hard not to snort with laughter.

“Why?”

She takes in his narrowed eyes and realizes she’s going to have to lie to get what she wants. Part of the reason they haven’t been as close since he left town is due to his sudden confessions of feelings toward her. She’d let him down easy, but things have been strained since then. There’s no need to rub that in his face when all she wants is to find out about Peeta. With a straight face and innocent eyes, she explains, “I think one of them door dinged my car a couple of weeks ago. The gym won’t give out membership information, but if you know who they are… Well, I’d be really grateful, Gale.”

He falls for it when she bats her eyelashes at him. She should feel terrible, but all’s fair in love and basketball. Of all people, Gale should want her to be happy, no matter if that means she’s interested in someone else or not. She’s no damsel in distress, unless she can’t pay for her groceries or something. However, her simpering works, and that’s really what she needs.

“Mellark is the last name. They all have bread names. It’s weird.”

She rolls the name around in her head for a bit. Peeta Mellark. It’s a nice solid name, and now she has more information to help her figure out how to find him. Almost giddy with victory, she stretches up on her tiptoes and kisses Gale’s cheek in gratitude. Backing away before he can reciprocate, she hears him as the distance widens between them.

“Do you want to grab dinner sometime? Maybe?”

“Sorry, Gale! Got to go. Really good to see you!”

With that, she turns her back and slips down the hall to the women’s locker room. She doesn’t bother to shower before grabbing her bag and heading to her car. She’s barely closed the door before she’s on her phone and typing in the name Peeta Mellark. She has a thank you to deliver.

****

Surprisingly, it’s not much easier to find him now that she knows his full name. She unveils a lot of information about his family, but not him. Apparently, they own a few local bakeries that she tries out and loves. Still, Peeta’s family is not the same thing as Peeta, who is remarkably absent from social media and with no online presence. She’s willing to admit, she got cocky, and now she can’t figure out how to recover from it.

“Where the hell is he?” she mutters as she comes up empty. Again.

Frustrated, she runs over all the data she’s gathered about him. He’s kind, compassionate, and thoughtful; all of those qualities were on display at the grocery store. He drinks tea and has a very good-looking friend who he talks to about numbers; that she learned at the coffee shop. He’s athletic and has two brothers he likes well enough to exercise with them; that information, and his last name, came from the gym. It should be enough to go on. It’s not.

She’s at home on her couch and paying bills when it suddenly hits her that she may never see this guy again. Peeta Mellark seems to be a figment of her imagination for all the good it’s done to try to find him. That and the small number in her bank account are both so unpleasant that she decides she’s going to have to break down and do something she’s been avoiding and delaying for a very long time. She’s going to have to open a line of credit. She’ll only use it for emergencies, but she can’t rely on the kindness of strangers to bail her out the next time she doesn’t have money for groceries, let alone car maintenance or an unforeseen medical crisis. It’s been months since Peeta saved her, but the humiliation of not being able to take care of herself still hasn’t faded. Before she can change her mind, she grabs her purse and heads to the bank. The time is now.

“Can I help you?” A bubbly blonde teller named Delly asks, and Katniss takes a deep breath to fortify herself.

“I’d like to open a line of credit. Can I talk to someone about that?”

“Sure!” she practically squeals. “Let me just call someone to help you.”

She’s led down the hallway and past a few desks to a small office. Once ushered inside, she sits and raises her eyes to view the person across from her.

“Oh…”

The man before her is stunning—green eyes, bronze hair, a swimmer’s build. It’s the guy’s—Peeta’s—friend, the one he was with at the coffee shop.

“Ms. Everdeen. I’m Finnick Odair. Want some sugar?” he asks and nudges a candy bowl toward her.

“No, I’m fi—.”

“Hey, Finn. Can you— Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were with a customer.”

She jerks at the sound of his voice. Peeta Mellark is standing in the doorway, and her heart is in her throat. She has a sudden flashback of the coffee shop, when the two of them walked past her discussing numbers… Now, it all makes sense. They work at a bank together. Of course they do. Peeta turns to leave, and she calls out.

“Wait! Stay with me.”

She claps her hands over her mouth and wills herself not to blush, but it’s no use. She’s just asked a perfect stranger to stay with her, and her invitation sounds much more intimate than she means it to. He must think she’s insane. Maybe she actually is. She pushes down a sudden urge to flee the situation and escape to the safety of her apartment.

This is out of her wheelhouse. Shy, introverted, and intensely private, Katniss worries the end of her braid and bites her lip. Every instinct she has tells her to run, but the temptation of him before her is too great. Rising, she crosses to him and holds out her hand.

“Hi. My name is Katniss. You saved my life once, and I’ve been on the hunt to find you for months. Thank you.”

Peeta and his friend exchange looks, and she fights the urge to shrivel back into herself. Finally, he looks directly at her and takes her palm in his. With a smile so disarming she nearly faints, he answers.

“Peeta Mellark. It’s nice to meet you.”

The touch of his hand on hers melts her insides. She dreads when she finally has to let go, but maybe she won’t have to. With a shy smile, she cocks out her hip and looks up at him through long lashes. Her flirting may be a disaster, but it’s all she’s got.

“It’s so nice to meet you, too.”

The flicker in his eyes makes her knees weak. An hour later, she’s left the bank with a line of credit, a phone number, and a dinner date. The hunt is finally over.

#hutchhitched #eiramrelyat #prompt 39 #Springtime Edition 2021 #submission

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dukeofonions · 3 years

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Sensing a pattern thanks to the critical fans' asks... I'm a professional producer who's attempted on numerous occasions (unsuccessfully) to secure Thomas for a part in a Broadway-bound musical. TL;DR: How he and his team -- not just friends, but "pros" -- "run their railroad" confuses the hell out of us, and is probably the biggest obstacle to his getting anywhere besides YouTube. Frankly, we now wonder if this is by design and not just typical lack of experience winning the race, as it were...

(Sorry it took so long to respond work has been killing me the past few days.)

Longer Version (1/?): We've been working on this musical for just over a decade, and after we discovered Thomas's long-form content and the singles he's released, we thought he was a good fit for it. Without going into detail, the show's always been kind of a long shot, for many reasons, but we (still) think it'd be a great showcase for his brand of talent. So we decided to approach him and to gauge his interest, since he'd discussed Broadway dreams before. And there, our troubles began...

(2/?) So, five years ago, we approached Thomas through his then-management, Reboot the People, a company that managed a *lot* of content creators back then. (Their remains still exist on Twitter @RTPfamily.) They may have been a little out of their depth when they heard our pitch, and wisely looped in his agent at the time, Ty Flynn at UTA, from whom we heard... nothing. Okay, maybe it wasn't his thing; we had other projects to pursue and we moved on but... we still kept an eye on his content.

(4/?) When we returned to the project a couple years later, Thomas was still a favorite for the part for which we had him in mind, and building a much bigger audience than before, so we decided to reach out again. The business fawsterdog email address, as I'm sure fans have discovered by now, is useless. No one there ever got back to us. More than that, when we tried to learn who was managing him now (at times pleading on Twitter and during streams for info), we kept hitting dead ends.

(5/?) We finally managed to obtain a lead when we watched the "NO ADDED SUGAR for a MONTH!" video, and someone described as Thomas's manager actually appeared on camera, Matt Hogen, the president of Direct Artist Management. Further Googling revealed Matt had apparently been his manager as far back as 2013, way earlier than we'd been directed to Reboot The People for business inquiries. To say this runaround was confusing as hell, *even for show business*, is the understatement to end them all!!!

(6/6) At that point, after all that confusion, we just gave up!! If we have to chase someone's representation to the ends of the earth, only to find out there was one person we should have been talking to the whole time, it's probably more convoluted behind the scenes, and we don't need that extra stress in our lives. Watching the recent storms unfold, and wondering how true to life the "Putting Others First" video is, we can only assume he likes the *idea* of career more than really having one...

(I lied, 7/7) Bottom line: he presents a picture of unreliability and a lack of professionalism both to his fans and to industry people, and -- assuming there's *any* autobiographical truth to Sanders Sides content -- it may be because he's deliberately not taking this seriously. If losing out on big opportunities is the price he pays for keeping his mental health and well being in check, that's fine. But it's not how you succeed in this business... in any business, really. I wish him the best...

Wow, that is a lot.

Well for starters (and I hope you don't take this the wrong way) I am the tiniest bit skeptical about this story being true. I mean I can definitely see it happening giving Thomas and the team's track record, but there are just a few things that make me hesitate.

For one thing I'm surprised that a professional producer found their way onto my blog (which I try to keep out of the open) and took the time to read through some asks then send an ask of their own. Not that it's impossible of course, because here you are. But you know anyone can claim to be anyone so I hope you don't mind my skepticism here.

And admittedly I'm not entirely sure how the producing world works along with agents, especially when it comes to getting someone cast for your show. I can't see Thomas turning an opportunity down like that unless he just wasn't interested or never knew about it.

Which, honestly, if you did try getting into contact with his agent and he was told about it and wasn't interested then ya know, the least they could do was tell you so you could start looking for someone else.

I did also find the Twitter account for Reboot The People and yeah, it's long since abandoned and I'm wondering how you even got directed there in the first place when he had a manager already (if I'm understanding the time line right)

I do kinda question the whole asking for answers in streams bit (since Thomas rarely if ever does public live streams and I don't think he did much back then the only streams he does consistently now are for patreons) and he never leaves them up anyway so it's not like I could go back and look through the chats (not that I would because I ain't got time for that) but again, it's not impossible for that to have happened. Just a tiny detail my brain got hooked on.

Even if I'm still somewhat doubtful about your story (again please don't take it the wrong way I just like to be sure before I 100% believe something) I do agree about Thomas and the team's lack of professionalism, just look at the Story Time Madlibs situation, and they continue to make decisions (especially within the patreon) that just continue to baffle me.

I mean at the end of the day no one knows what's going on behind the scenes. And as it stands Thomas has found enough success with YouTube where he's stable enough to make it his full time job and can go months or even a year without posting a video.

But he even brings this point up in one of his Sanders Sides videos that YouTube isn't a stable job, and you never know when everything can suddenly flip and before ya know it the job ain't as stable anymore, and at that point you've gotta have some kinda back up plan for if things go south.

Because eventually (and I've already seen it happening) people will just get bored without new content or just grow out of it and they'll move on. Even if they've got nothing against the creator, that's just what happens. Some will stick around but even then no one's bound to last forever. Especially when there's always new stuff to be found.

But hey, he's good where he's at for now so I guess one might as well enjoy it while they can. I would like to see him succeed in actually securing a bigger role (whether in a film, Broadway, or even a TV show) because I think he'd do really well and he has been contacted by Disney before to be in one of their shows so who knows?

#dukeofasks #long post #maybe its just a matter of time #but then again if no one can ever get ahold of the guy i can't see that happening any time soo #soon #is what i meant #i aint typing all that again im on mobile

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