#but i was rereading it earlier today and i am......actually really liking it? i think it's turning out way better than i was expecting

[theghostofashton]

.

[cheri-2047]

Could you maybe try high school Fem!Scaramouche hc with a huge crush on us but being super reluctant and shy about it?? :3

OKAY. I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN FOR SCARA OKAY PLEASE BEAR WITH ME 😭 also dude ure my first request thank u so much <3

so I didn’t know how to write this but THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT. Anyways basically I’m gonna write a bunch of headcanons then some scenarios under that

Please I’m so sorry if I mischaracterized him I really tried I SWEAE 😭😭😭

This is not proofread btw

WARNINGS: none, it’s all fluff :3

Fem!Scaramouche Headcanons:

HEADCANONS:

Fem!Scara would seem like extremely pissed off to everyone, but she would do small tasks for you that she never does with anyone else

Fem!Scara would do her best to not make it obvious that she likes you. (Even if that means accidentally hurting you with her snarky remarks)

Fem!Scara would be more quiet around you. She doesn’t become as arrogant or stubborn around you, well she would be but just not as much since she cares for you

Fem!Scara ime personally, I don’t think she would be much on physical touch, but if you hugged her she would pay your back and put her chin on your shoulder

Fem!Scara enjoys seeing you be passionate about things. She would listen all day to you and keep eye contact.

Fem!Scara would be very well at hiding when she’s flustered. Like if you’re play flirting with her, she would just end it like “…? What do you expect me to say to that?” When in reality, she’s really giddy inside

Fem!Scara would choose to sit beside you during field trips, or if you go to school via school bus. She says it’s just a coincidence (for field trips) but in reality, she really made it so you Teo sat together

Confession time:

Fem!Scara would be really pleased if you confessed to her first. She wouldn’t say yes immediately, (like instead of going “yes yes!!” She would be in disbelief)

Fem!Scara if she were to confess, she would spend a lot of time thinking how she would do it. She would worry if you said no and I feel like she would spend a week bringing herself down saying you’d never say yes and it’s a waste of time (no it’s not)

Scara enters the school earlier than usual to look for your locker. She had decided to just send a letter. Scara finds it and rereads his letter (for the 100th time today…)

“Dear y/n,

Before I say anything, if you were to say no that’s completely fine. I understand I am not the best, but the truth is, these past few months, I’ve started to develop feelings for you. I just didn’t say or do anything about it well..since I didn’t really want you to know or anyone really. I really really like you, but understand if you would just want to stay friends. Thank you for hearing me out.

-Scara”

SHe hesitantly folds it up again, leaving a candy you really like taped to it as he slips it in the gap of your locker. SHe can barely calm himself down but he goes back to the classroom.

As she sees you, she stiffens up, but tries to remain the same.

“Did she read it?”

“Has she even seen it?”

“Maybe I didn’t write long enough?”

“Ah damn it I barely wrote anything!”

She stares at her lap, not daring to look up. As suddenly when you tap hee table, you mention the letter.

“I saw what you left..”

She immediately PANICS clutching her skirt getting ready for a no. She just laughs it off as if it were nothing to hide that she’s actually a mess inside.

“Haha, well what d’you think?”

She tries to act cocky and stuff. But as you come to terms and conditions (when u say yes) she looks at you in disbelief.

“….is this a joke? Are you lying?”

As you say no it’s not a joke, she then stands up and taps your hand.

“Thank you…”

WOWWOWOWOOWOWOW THIS WAS NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL AHHAHAHAH. Anyways uhhh if anyone else wants to request smth, go ahead. School just ended so I have nothing to do for the next few months. Once again, my bad if I accidentally mischaracterized her. I really tried ok. ANYWAYS THANK U, U DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY REQUESTES SMTH FROM ME LIKE I KID U NOT I GOT REALLT HAPPY AT LIKE 6 AM😭😭😭 anyways thank u again omg I hope this was ok 😭😭

[underdark-dreams]

the Rolan brainrot's hit me HARD; i did not expect to lowkey fall for an NPC when i started playing BG3 but here i am - making a Tav for a hypothetical Rolan romance 😔 and it didn't help that i absolutely love your Rolan fics HAHA (i can't stop rereading them 🐊)

anyways, the brainrot today has me thinking of being on the receiving side of being teased 😶‍🌫️ usually, it's Rolan doing work and Tav being the tease, but i believe that he has his moments too >:)

-

it's a time when he's actually finished earlier and all he can think about is snuggling next to his lover. however, he notices that Tav's not done with whatever it is they're writing and he sees the opportunity of some overdue payback.

he places a hand on their shoulder and leans over, lips slightly brushing against their ear and asking them a question that he knows doesn't fully register in their head. when he receives a distracted hum for a reply, he starts placing kisses on their neck.

if Tav notices his ministrations, they don't outwardly show it. but Rolan is nothing if not stubborn - he wants his lover to get a taste of their own medicine. so, his hand starts caressing the length of their swordarm, the nail of his thumb slightly grazing skin. he wraps his tail around their upper thigh and the tip slightly grinds against them. a soft bite on the neck and a hand grasping firmly on Tav's wrist is what it takes for Tav to stop writing. when he hears them sigh out his name, he immediately steps back and makes a leave for the bedroom.

he knows he wins when he hears the chair scrape against the floor.

I totally didn’t either, anon! My pipeline to Rolan obsession went like: spend 1 week in love with Astarion on full game release > spend 1 week besotted with Gale > finally play through Rolan’s full arc, and fall head over heels with him for the past...9 months with absolutely no end in sight.

There’s something dangerously addictive about Rolan’s character in particular 😩 It’s good to know we’re not alone in the madness, eh!

Love this scenario of yours 💓 I really really believe that Rolan does have a mischievous, playful side of him that would totally lead him to act like this with his significant other. I always felt the first real taste of it directed toward the player is that classic don’t be greedy~

I’ve always wondered if that little interaction is a glimpse of how Rolan acts when he’s really comfortable/around people he loves. Like the way he acts at the tiefling party in Act 1, trading little quips with his siblings. So fun to imagine him being playful like that with Tav…and maybe being a downright menace with it like you imagined here 😉 So unfair that Larian gave us these little in-game morsels of him being flirty and saucy and didn’t let us smooch his stupid face

[bonesandthebees]

HELLOOO i am SO TIRED today was another not great day (emotionally, daddy issues amirite) BUT IT'S OKAY BC THE FAMOUS BONESANDTHEBEES UPDATED GLASS AND IT WAS AMAIZNGGG

It was not what i was expecting at all omg there was so much sandduo... so much i wanted to cry and scream but alas i couldn't so i just aggressively keysmashed at my friend instead

We got a NAME REVEALLL FINALYYDJSSOODJF GOGUOGGUFOGIPSDIDOFODJGKGF EXPLODES SBI MAKE ME SO ILL SO SO ILL OGUGODIFISIEJFJFKSJSKFKD can phil and techno adopt me pls they are sosososofogisjskf<3333 explodes again

That whole scene fucked me up so bad it was so good im shdfkdhsflfkz<33 i love them i love them sooo bad im ejflfjskflfjdj<33

Tbh i am now pre curious about the tntduo scene... mayhaps i Will dm to see it

Ough Tommy's reaction hurt me so bad they are so brothers and they are in it together for better or for worse im gonna cry i am so scared bee ohkvydo

My jaw DROPPED when they revealed the plan i was like "aint no way theyre about to say what i think theyre gonna say" they DID im so scared this is like . Stars level fear i cannot imagine this is going to go well ohkyfuckingofdkajddjffjff

It's so interesting that like the moment Wilbur officially says he doesn't want to be the Pythia anymore, he's gonna have to be thrown back into that position omg it's gonna be so traumatising for him i am so so scared plsss the only thing keeping me sane is that u pre much always write happy endings bc literally . Istg the odds DO NOT look good ohkgudo

Shoutout to rainduo their friendship means so much to me

I gotta bookmark this chapter too to reread it was ssoodosososooo lovely your writing is always sososododoo comforting i love it sm bee youre genuinely sososososo cooll

Sorry this ask wasnt as long (or maybe that's a good thing lmaoo) but i hope ur having a nice day!! I really enjoyed the chapter :D

awww I'm sorry you had a bit of a rough day but I'm glad my update can help cheer you up!!

LOL YEAH when I was writing it i knew you were gonna love the sandduo. it's one of the most important chapters for sandduo in the entire fic

the name reveal was SO stressful to write just bc I wanted to make sure it came across exactly how I wanted it to. but I'm very happy with how it turned out :) it's such a high-strung emotional scene and I had to balance so much with the dialogue but it was worth it in the end

yuppp that's certainly A Plan they're going to do. this can only end well 🙃

yup! as soon as wilbur finally accepts that he doesn't want to be the pythia, he has to get thrown back into it. in a way it's only fitting. he wanted to go back for so long, but he can only go back once he's hit a new kind of self-actualization. now he might be going back into a very bad situation for him, but he's progressed so much he's better equipped to deal with it than he would've been had he gone back earlier. at least that's what you gotta hope.

this means so much to hear I'm very glad my writing is so comforting to you <33

and yes I had a very nice day thank you for asking :)

[screamingmandrakes]

Nine fandom folks to get to know better!

Thank you @laserswordtraining for tagging me!! I always get so excited about these.

Tagging some of my mutuals: @maplebalderdash @foolishlywandwaving @andrigyn @peppershark @nerysdax

Feel free to do this! Or don’t. It’s up to you.

Top 3 ships:

Volmione def is the top contender. I’d say Harrymort comes next. Tomione would be third. I love Tom but Voldemort does it for me.

First ever ship:

Okay it was admittedly a Jack Frost/Elsa one LMAO. It was called Jelsa 😭😭 I was like twelve and I was obsessed with it. I still go back and read some of the fics and every now and then.

Currently reading:

Okay so the people in my server have been keeping me fed. I’m doing a reread of All The Wrong Choices. I recently finished ‘as stars fade from your eyes’ by miserygirlfriend (who is very sweet btw!). I also read Hairbrush by @maplebalderdash recently, a short, simple fic but I really enjoyed her take on child Tom. And finally, ‘Think of Me Fondly’ which was written by one of my friends!

Currently watching:

I actually am not one for shows or movies, so I’ll give you the audiobook I’m listening to. To nobody’s surprise, it is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Last song I listened to:

I’ve been listening to Hypocrites by Korn on repeat recently. They’re my favorite band in general but something about that song is so good to my brain. I also really like the band Kittie, so they’ve been on repeat as well. I love women in metal.

Currently consuming:

I’m eating the ice from my cup bc I’m too lazy to refill it lol. Typically I drink a lot of water but I also like dry foods. Not a big fan of anything hot, seasoned or temperature wise.

Currently craving:

A good nap, which is wild bc I took like a four hour one today. I had a cookie earlier that was really good so honestly, probably some more cookies lol. I wish the sun came out more too. I miss the summer.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Yeah. The moment I realised how many voice Japanese actors that I liked were in it, I just had to go for it. I’ve finished the first season now btw and will probably watch the movie later today. I’ll give you my person opinions in the DMs because imo it’s easier like that. Especially since I put some references to certain episodes in there and even use a quote at some point. And I totally understand your feelings towards Mahiru and even though I don’t have those, I do have some protective feelings towards him and some other characters. I like how it was even obvious to you and I’ll tell you that even by the end he’s still one of my faves but in a ‘wants to be there for him’ kind of way. Like I’d want to create a friend for him more above anything else. Yeah. I discovered two in different ways. Mikuni has me intrigued and I want to see more of him and he’s just so fun to watch. Then we have Hyde / Lawless who just… *holds hedgehog gently*. I was looking forward to seeing him because he’s voiced by one of my favourite Japanese voice actors (who is also in Haikyuu!! and makes his first appearance in the second season) and also because of his little dance in the end credits and he gives me so many feelings, none romantic but still all the feelings. I presume the fave that your talking about here is the character you mentioned in our DMs. I like him and understand him and hope that if he appears in the future, under better circumstances. I like how you love both. The opening song is a bit too intense for me so I always skipped it, but I would always listen to the ending song whenever I could.

Also, there’s something I want to ask. I do plan on reading the manga at some point, once I’ve done the first reread of that story I plan on posting later this year, and I was wondering how accurate of an adaptation the anime is. Like can I just start where the anime left off on or should I start earlier somewhere? Also, a few days ago you mentioned in a post that you would like to hear about our favourite friendships and I have to say that Mahiru and Sakuya are now def a favourite of mine. It’s just such a good friendship with interesting layers to it.

That’s all from me for now. Hope you have / had a wonderful day.

C

I'm just so glad you ended up going for it and Jesus, compared to me, you watch so quickly! I'll admit that I didn't watch the movie myself. In an odd turn from how I usually do things, I had watched the first couple episodes of the anime first but knew within the first three episodes that I loved it and really wanted to give the manga a shot too and while I finished the twelve episodes of the anime, I just stayed manga only after that. I might give the movie a shot when I do my reread and catch up of the manga in March and rewatch of the anime. I'll probably talk more about Servamp to you in our dm's, just because, like you said, it's probably easier that way, though as usual, I'm terrible at responding to those quickly and probably will need a couple more days before I respond, especially since (though I adore how much we talk, please don't think I don't) we talk a lot and have so much to say to each other that it normally takes me an hour or three to properly write out my messages to you.

I will say, I was surprised by Lawless so much! I had figured you'd like Mikuni…I love him, I honestly do, he's a fantastic character, especially in the later manga chapters and just I am always so curious about him and every time I think I have him figured out, I second guess myself. But Lawless surprised me. He's truly fantastic too, but I would have guessed you would have loved Licht the more out of the two of them. But that is very cool to learn about Lawless' voice actor! I know how much a good voice actor can mean to you. And see, in a surprising twist here, among my many eclectic music tastes, your girl here absolutely loves metal music or anything along those lines, so the opening really hits me right and it's actually on my hiking playlist because it makes me wanna get up and move and push hard.

As for the adaption of manga to anime, I haven't rewatched the anime fully in a bit, but I think it was a fairly decent adaption, but the ending of the anime was different from manga continuity. I think, but feel free to correct me if it turns out that I am wrong, that it was a case of the anime getting ahead of the manga? I know I personally noticed enough little differences in the manga when I started right from the beginning that I wasn't bored, even covering some of the same territory the anime did, and the art is just a joy in the manga, but I'd love to hear from other Servamp fans. What would you guys say in terms of where to start in the manga??

AND YES TO MAHIRU AND SAKUYA. I love their friendship, I love their bond and connection and how difficult it is for these friends to really have to be on opposite sides of what really is a war. Thank you so much for weighing in and all your wonderful opinions and I hope you're having an amazing day too, my lovely!

[ltleflrt]

My current obsession is gay audio books with narrators who have British accents. It started with Nicholas Boulton, and when I ran out of the gay stuff, I started looking for other good narrators.  Anyway, this morning I’m listening to a book that’s good, but I keep getting distracted by thoughts of my own writing.

In this book, the protags are in love by their 3rd meeting. 

It’s a lovely story, well written, very emotional.

But so unrealistic.

To be clear, I’m very much enjoying it, but like I said, it’s really making me think.  It’s stuff like this that reminds me why I could never write a book for a trad-pub company.  I’ve talked to my bestie @jupiterjames about how books get edited, because she used to do that professionally, and she’s mentioned how I tend to “meander” in my stories.  She’s not saying it’s a bad thing, she’s just pointed out things that would usually get cut out because there’s a formula that must be kept to and a wordcount limit, and I am always AGHAST because THOSE ARE VERY IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT BITS.  But it’s clear what she means, because I saw it in her earlier writing before I infected her with longficitis (HAHA 200K BITCH I WIN), and in how traditionally published books often tell romance stories.

The book I’m listening to is about romance, but it’s not about falling in love.  If I was writing this book, there would have been at least 3 more chapters between the 1st and 3rd meetings where they had many more meetings where they run into each other randomly and get to know each other.  As it stands in the story, they barely even know each other, and they’re already talking about moving in together.  And it’s like.. what?  Why do they like each other?  This is a classic case of trauma bringing them together, which is fine but if the rest of the story is about them dealing with the trauma, and not like... having some fun together outside the bedroom... I’ll still probably say it’s a good book because of the narrator’s performance, but I’ll never relisten to it, and if it was an actual book, it’d go straight into the donations box, because I’d certainly never read it again.  It was a free book under my Audible subscription, and I’m glad I didn’t spend any additional money or a credit on it.  I mean... it’s still good! If someone were to ask about it, I’d say sure it’s worth a read!  It’s just not to my specific tastes when it comes to romances novels.

I like to read about how characters fall in love.  I like to write about how characters fall in love.  Sure, there’s plot and trauma in my stories, and the characters have to navigate around that.  But I at least try to make it clear WHY they fall in love, aside from trauma bonding.  And if a trad-pub company made me cut that stuff out, the story would feel soulless, and I’d give up on writing altogether.

Anyway, these are the thoughts that distracted me so much from the last half hour of the book that I’ve gotta rewind and re-listen, because I know I was missing stuff while my mind wandered.

Sometimes my favorite thing about reading books instead of fanfiction is realizing that my writing is better than some stuff that’s published....very good for the ego lol

Oh, I just realized something as I was rereading this post looking for typos... you wanna know where I got it in my head that characters need something to make them fall in love besides their trauma?  The movie Speed.  They actually lampshade the idea of falling in love during a traumatic event.  I adore that movie.  In fact, now that I’ve thought about it, I might watch it today.  But Sandra Bullock’s character Annie saying how the love probably isn’t real because of how it started, and the fact that in Speed 2, it turns out she was right, has stuck with me for decades.  If Speed 2 hadn’t been made, then I could have lived in the fantasy that Annie was wrong and that she and Jack lived happily ever after.  But Speed 2 did get made, and because Keanu Reeves didn’t come back, they had to actually prove her right and ruin my suspension of disbelief.  I guess I have Keanu to thank for the way I write my stories lol

[woozapooza]

personal reflection/venting post

I almost never do this but I need to do some, like, tumblr journaling:

Today is May 1st, which is an important day in Arthurian legend, which is one of my longest-running interests and actually the reason I joined tumblr in the first place (I want to follow an Arthuriana blog). It's got me thinking back to what kind of person I was at 17, when I discovered the music of Heather Dale and became interested in the legend. I was very depressed and anxious back then, but I still had so much capacity for genuine passion, and my sudden obsession with all things Arthur was possibly the best example of that. I just wanted to consume everything related to my new obsession. I can't even really describe it, but the key thing is that there was no self-consciousness to get in the way. I never once worried that I was being cringe or problematic or whatever the judgmental adjective du jour is. And I'm contrasting that 17-year-old with who I am now, and the contrast makes me want to cry. I feel like I've just utterly lost the capacity for that kind of unrestrained, unapologetic excitement, and there are probably multiple factors at play, but I'm certain that one of them, probably the biggest, is social media. I spend so much time seeing the most joyless, mean-spirited people imaginable tear down everything and everyone—sometimes under the guise of making Important Criticisms, sometimes just as an act of unrepentant unpleasantness—that an amalgamation of their voices has taken up residence in my brain, and it tries to tear down everything it sees. I can hardly read a book or watch a youtube video or listen to a song or have an idea without this obnoxious, irony-poisoned part of my brain try to guess what the most annoying people imaginable would say about it—how they'd tear it apart, how they'd paint it/me as problematic or cringe or offensive or boring or just bad. I hate this! I hate that the "paranoid reading" (really useful concept, btw) approach to the world has taken root in my mind! I hate that it's so hard for me to just enjoy things and be interested in things and, more basically, just enjoy things without worrying what people I don't even like or respect would think! I hate that my impulse was to include the word "pathetic" in the title of this post, because I know from observation that irony and self-deprecation are more valued by a lot of obnoxious losers on social media than earnestness. I hate that there are so many obstacles in my brain to just earnestly being interested in something, eventually I tend to just give up instead of trying to get past them. I really, really need to get un-poisoned. I'm never giving up on tumblr, but I do need to use it less. I'm going to log out and, after work (I'm on my lunch break), I'm going to listen to "The Lusty Month of May" from Camelot and "Mordred's Lullaby" and "The Trial of Lancelot" by Heather Dale and reread my college thesis, which was about Arthurian stuff. Surely it's possible to get back at least a bit of who I used to be.

EDIT: I was going to try to stay logged out for the rest of the day, but I had to log back in to reblog a post I always reblog on May 1st, so while I'm here, I want to clarify one thing that I didn't get a chance to clarify earlier because my lunch break was over: it's not just "the most joyless, mean-spirited people imaginable" who are the cause of this problem. I mean, they're by far the biggest part of the problem, but I think it's also bad for me to be constantly bombarded by the opinions of even sensible, decent people who are objectively not doing anything wrong. I think the fundamental problem is that, for me at least, being constantly exposed to other people's opinions, even when those opinions are perfectly valid and expressed civilly, makes it hard for me to do or think anything without feeling like there's an invisible crowd offering their input because I'm so used to a real crowd offering their input on every single thing. Maybe some people are psychologically strong enough that it doesn't affect them, but I'm clearly not one of those people. So I'm going to reblog the post I came on here to reblog, then I'm going to log out again, and this time I'm genuinely going to stay logged out for the rest of the day.

[muninnhuginn]

Thanks for the tag @pinkie-satan!

-last song: 0 - LMYK (English version)

-song stuck in head: 勇者/Yuusha/Hero - yoasobi (it's the frieren op)

-fav colors: purples, especially when they're down the blue end.

-currently watching: ah okay. so. I'm watching anime seasonals this time for some reason? Kinda surprised I'm keeping up with them as well as I am honestly. so anime-wise: frieren, spy x family s2, my new boss is goofy, deranged detective, tearmoon, I'm in love with the villainess. kdrama: move to heaven (I am genuinely enjoying it but there aren't many episodes so I think I keep delaying to make it last longer). don't think there's anything else I'm forgetting rn (but there probably is). I have a few other shows I want to check out like scavengers reign but probably when I'm less overloaded with my current lot.

-currently reading: does it count if I technically read it all yesterday? uh, ima say yes because I was probably sleep-deprived and so may give it a reread when I'm less so. latest murderbot book: system collapse. really good. there were a couple of parts I wish had been pushed further but overall it was exactly what I wanted out of a murderbot book so I can't complain (for context: murderbot is sci-fi and a mix of hurt/comfort, comedy, and intense relatability courtesy of the main character). other than that, it's mainly dungeon meshi. finished up volume 1 earlier today after getting distracted for ages and the fake biology aspects are so fun. (also have ongoing stuff in terms of manga and fics but I'll spare the details of those as there're a lot)

-currently craving: hot chocolate (brb)

-last movie: the marvels. was kinda disjointed but I was expecting it to be a lot worse than it actually was given the reception to it. also I know cats are probably expensive to deal with on film sets but did they really have to cg them to that extent? pls. I want real cattos. real alien cattos. whatever

-sweet, spicy or savory: usually sweet but occasionally spice

-relationship status: single, which personally I'm happy with, but people can be weird about it sometimes.

-current obsession: still in my link click era, trying to resist getting back into murderbot or nirvana in fire or stranger/secret forest.

-three fav foods: hmm, bolognese, gyoza, fior di latte gelato

-last thing googled: showings for anatomy of a fall. (unfortunately there aren't many which is a shame. I'd like to watch it but not really planning to go out of my way for it)

-dream trip: going to be boring and say the same here but japan fr. I'd want to actually have a vague sense of the language before even considering it though because what I have rn is just an assortment of words vaguely to do with murder mysteries

-anything you want right now: my original answer to this was depressing so I'm just gonna say the motivation to actually sort out a new laptop because rn I'm probably going to beat out my record for how long it took me to transfer over to my new phone after getting it (around a month iirc). I haven't even started figuring out what I want to prioritise in terms of specs or how much money I'm willing to spend and it's so much easier to do this kind of thing *on* a laptop (that isn't broken :V)

Tagging in anyone who wants to join in. I know especially I have some newish mutuals/followers and I'm not great at interacting directly but feel free to have a go ^^

[atozfic]

sincerely, you’re one of the best atiny writers out here. the finesse you have with your works where the plot is so interesting and blends in so well with the nsfw aspects, as well as the characters you portray >>> the surroundings and the little nitty gritty details is outstanding !!

was recently rereading your seonghwa ice prince au and i could feel coldness just reading from my phone, like you genuinely transported me into that world— it gives me like christoper nolan x hans zimmer vibes, what a work <3

i've been staring at this ask and rereading it over the past ten or so minutes since you sent it and i honestly can not even begin to think of how to reply.

i've always struggled with taking compliments and, during my earlier days in writing fanfiction (before starting this blog) i really doubted my own skills. last year, for the first time in my short life, i finally came to an earth-shattering realisation that writing is not just something i enjoy, but something i am good at and want to dedicate my life to (whether that be through writing my own stories or actually attempting to get my foot into the publishing industry) and its thanks to comments like this.

reading this means so much to me, because fanfiction (and fiction in general) has played such a large role in shaping the person i am today and i can honestly say that, even if i never go further with my writing than fanfiction, i can live happily knowing there's people like this who view my writing this way.

thank you, i really, really mean it.

[tasteleeknow]

Hi! I am wondering do you read romance books and if you do what are your fav tropes/ books/authors? Thanks for providing us with such amazing steaming hot fanfics <3

omg your timing.. i was just thinking about this earlier today. i read a lot or i usually do but i haven't since i started writing in september. practically all my free time goes into writing at the moment.

i've had lots of different phases with romance though! i think my most recent was historical romance and then i had a reverse harem (one woman x multiple men) phase before that. they were always like soulmate au but theres like three men and each one fills like a different role like one was puppy and soft and one is tsundere etc etc you get. i've also read all the typical mainstream ones like court of misty and fury (winged dark soulmate who is all soft inside sigh also i think its chapter 52 ??? reread that a lot).

the most recent historial romance i've read was kerrigan bryne's victorian rebels series. the thing about the romance genre is you have to get past the titles and book covers to find gems hfdj. anyway yeah some of those just hit the spot for me. historical romance is really good for like forbidden romance vibes ya know lots of pining. also i literally cannot leave out pride and prejudice. the book and the 2005 film are my comfort media.

i think in terms of like common themes i like it's usually like a dark on the outside but soft on the inside love interest who basically ends up borderline obsessed with the heroine but it isn't toxic ya know? lots of pining required hfjds i actually had like a dramione phase for awhile (even though i've never read the books and don't actually care abt harry potter) because of the dynamic a lot of authors write them with. he's all dark and brooding and he ends up really soft and like desperately in love. 'manacled' is a fic on ao3 which has really dark themes but has some of the best writing and plot and characters i've read in fic (or in general). but yeah BIG trigger warning, read all the tags first. i could rec a lot of fics in that pairing that are really good even if you are like me and don't care abt the original source material at all.

i'm realising i've written an essay. i really could talk about this forever lmao i'm sorry!

[josies-not-suicidal-now]

There was a restlessness in her. She scrolled like any other day, but something in her was disatisfied, it gnawed at her. The feeling that she might never gain any improvement on this life, that she would scroll herself to her grave. She saw this wonderful comic about transfeminine love and how a trans girl loving a trans girl actually involves four people since the boys they once were are involved as well. Rereading it gave her a sense of nostalgia, of the younger trans girl she once was, and the trans girl she had hoped to become. The feeling pulled at the restlessness dissolved it slowly like a pill in water, but the restlessness persisted. How many times was she bound to reread this comic? Would she ever experience the emotional resolution of its final panel?

Underneath the panel the comic's creator was offering merch for it, oh fuck yeah Josie thought. She clicked on the link and looked at the website, there was a certain horror to it, that there were services with the explicit purpose of creating merch for random tiny creators like this. She wanted a hoodie, it had trans girls kissing on it, so she must have it, the restlessness demanded it. It cost 50€, no doubt the vast majority of which would be spent on lining the pockets of the owners of the website. She mentally reviewed her finances and knew she wouldn't be able to afford weed if she bough it. She sent the link to her newest "sugardaddy", and wrote "please daddy? :3". He was some divorced english dude who had moved to berlin a couple months earlier, when she had fucked him he had really wanted her to talk about how nice his dick was. It had kinda put her on the spot, really hadn't been very comfortable.

She thought about the workers who were going to get the other percentages of the 50€. Their working conditions were entirely unknown to her, their salaries, their rights, their relationships with their bosses, their governments. She didn't even know where they were. She imagined a sweaty Filipino man stood in a textile printing factory without air conditioning that smelled of paints and dyes, among other chemical industrial fumes. She imagined the workers on the cargo ship transporting her hoodie to her. She wondered if any of them would take the time to look at her hoodie and what any of them would think upon seeing it. Perhaps it was less cruel to foist the image of two cute girls kissing next to the shadow selves of the boys they once were, than it was to force them to transport ahegao shirts.

Her "sugardaddy" was responding. "Sure thing, darling ;)" He said, "When am I gonna get to see you again?" He asked, like as if he had to be polite. She wasn't interested in fucking him again, but that usually wasn't a problem. These men liked being depended on almost as much as the sex, and she didn't mind losing him, so long as she got her hoodie right now. Perhaps he needed a little encouragement.

She took off her hoodie which read "M.A.D. Magicians Against Data" and threw it at the corner of the room. She held a peace sign against her cheek and took a selfie with her tits out. She sent it to him with the caption "soon hopefully hehe XD"

When she never fucked him he probably would be too depressed about being duped to do anything about it, maybe he would come to her apartment and make a big stink at the front door, and bang on it, and shout and yell and annoy her roommate. That wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he would persist for so long that she would have to confront him, and he would beat her up, or rape her, or hurt her some other way. That would suck, but at least it would be gender affirming.

He was typing again. "You really can't wait to get this big dick in you again huh?"

Josie checked her bank account, he had sent the money, there was no reason to worry about writing a response.

Typing in her details to order this new hoodie she could feel the restlessness resolving itself. The future would be different than the present because today she didn't have a hoodie with trans girls kissing on it, and tomorrow she would. She could feel the gaze of Marx and Foucault disapproving at her from the heavens, for being so satiated by mere consumption. She could imagine Foucaults furrowed frustrated brow just below his gleaming bald head. She knew nothing about his ideas or if he would actually have cared about her relationship with commodities, but she knew he appeared in video essays often, so he was likely to agree with Marx.

[mousewear]

tagged by @noelashe THANK YOU very much ^_^b

last song i heard: tv casualty by the misfits i never actually super got into this band but somehow this somg has been on my playlist for years…

fav color: ultramarine. 👇 always

last watched series: hellsing ultimate Well actually i have one episode left but it’s a pretty cool action i think ill have a better time if i decide to read it as well though due to storytelling/pacing issues

spicy/sweet/savory: i love all of these however i will have to say sweet my sweet tooth is insatiable (unless its fruit). however spicy comes close

relationship status: 5ever alone

last thing i searched: what do i do if im late for curbside pickup (😭)

last thing i read: i was reading noise by tsutomu nihei earlier today its a 1 volume manga so i got a physical copy. its okay not that amazing? i havent finished it yet though. its a prequel to blame which i also havent finished and im not sure if i need to finish the source material beforehand, maube thats why. ill have to reread it after i finish blame

current obsession: ahhhhhhh……….probably like as of this specific point in time these early 2010s anime memes theyre so funny but in general id say handheld consoles i pissed someone off cuz i asked their fav one like 3 times the otjer day

something im looking forward to: Half looking forward to Half dreading in case it goes wrong i got the circle pad replacement for my 3ds xl in the mail today so im gonna try to install that. worried if it doesnt fix the underlying issue of the broken spring or if i just fuck the my 3ds by taking it apart though. i know itll probabky turn out fine though so im looking forward to seeing if it works…

i dont know who to tag anyone who sees this can do this you i say i am just lazy but i really do not know

[pazodetrasalba]

A Feminine Philosopher

Dear Caroline:

Such is the title by which JS Mill is referred to, rather mockingly I suspect, in a caricature of his published in Vanity Fair in 1873. Tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis: what was intended as deprecation more than a century ago is actually a very high piece of praise from today's pespective.

Mill's attitude and beliefs about women haven't aged badly, although some other aspects have. These days I've been reading three essays of his, as part of a longer term project of reading different classics of moral thought - Scruton and Kant are next in the list-. I am halfway through On Liberty, and it is the one I like the most. The two I've already finished (Considerations on Representative Government and Utilitarianism) both have their ups and downs, but generally left me with a 'meh' vibe.

I imagine you must have read these at college, if not earlier, and they are among those texts read too long ago to be included in your bookreads. Classics in philosophy (those in economics too, I suspect) age worse than those in literature, probably because we expect the former to match our beliefs much more than the latter.

The Considerations were rather a mixed bag, with the smart and (now) conventional alternating with the quaint and weird. His double or triple votes for the educated seem deeply unwise, although understandable in the context of restraining 'the tyranny of the majority'. His proposal for an electoral system seems pretty reasonable, but it is telling that no country that I know of has something like it -perhaps Israel?. His opposition to the ballot feels really naive. In general, the good things he proposes have lost their luster and daring innovativeness because they have become things we are accustomed to take for granted: the curse (or the blessing) of your ideas having overtly won the field. I did particularly like the idea that the Legislature should delegate most of the technical and professional work of law-drafting to experts, and then submit it to their vote, but that is something I suspect already happens in practice (mostly).

I didn't quite like Utilitarianism, but not for the reasons you'd expect, as I am trying to give a fair chance to the doctrine. As an introduction, I'd take it to task because it takes for granted the knowledge of many basic concepts and doesn't bother to start more systematically, from first principles, more geometrico. I also got the feeling that he was strawmanning opposite views a bit too much.

On Liberty, though, is proving to be a very pleasant surprise; so much so that I am thinking of buying it in physical book format for a more careful rereading in the future. Nevertheless, I must confess myself slightly confused: the argument he is making for freedom feels distinctly deontological, an appreciation of freedom as an end in itself, independent of its raising of utility. I have no trouble with that (I rather like it in fact, and would add it to Truth), but I am not sure how it squares with the more narrow reduction of his whole philosophical system to a central axiom of pursuing the greatest utility for the greatest number. It is very easy to find ways in which it could easily enter in contradiction with freedom, and then one would have to clarify which principle is to be sacrificed in the conflict.

[expfcultragreen]

Tldr: i have always been aware that i am awful in the ways in which i am awful

...but i can always choose to be more honest about it and i have done a lot of drugs and gotten a lot of brain damage since i was a cptsd-cyborg growing up in the pnw. I think i turned out ok its just fucked up how slowly that was allowed to happen and i resent how low-info the world i grew up in was. Viva the new enlightenment. This is the dawning of the age of awoke w/ us. Highvibe nation whatwhat, etc. Speaking of highschool, the alty kids who were too cool for everyone were all in an amnesty international club together that like some well-leftoid [i flatter myself to say this applies to me, too, finally] to-the-manner-born [i wish] anarkiddie had started years earlier or whatever. I didnt know what the fuck amnesty international was and i never looked it up because i was like "candle with barbed wire around it, arm bands, gotcha. Maybe i'll ~care about Stuff in ~college but for now i unabashedly care only about new episodes of sex and the city and rereading anne rice novels. Oh and buffy!" (Is the uncomfortably stark whiteness of that shit still telegraphic like it was to the amnesty international club kids? Because the most culturally enriching media in my life in hs was antm which started at the end--and the fact that i was a massive weeb. These were the limits of my horizons at the time. Hilarious. What a way to be.) Point being, they were what we would today call woke, because now white people know that word and have distorted it into an intended insult, but at the time there wasnt anything pithy to call them derisively for being cooler than i was so to deflect/project my own insecurities about being utterly clueless and objectively uncool (insecurities i had because i could approximately grasp that these things were entirely true, even without the necessary context to have done better or to truly have known my insecurities werent just residual social anxiety from being all puberty-riddled like i constantly massaged into my brain as a cope; also i percieved the cooler kids i alienated by being all zomboidal as being snobbish and overly cynical, and there were only like a dozen of them anyway in a school of 1000+ students whose good graces and high opinions i didnt covet), i called them the fashion club, like from daria. As if to suggest that they were all mindlessly hopping on some highbrow trend of "advanced" leftism (i was a teenage ndp campaigner, i thought the amnesty club kids were "doing too much," to have a focus beyond party politics in highschool) their champagne swilling glitterati parents had tuned them in to, yet from my pov most of them had the pretention of basically drafting themselves as child soliders or some shit in these overseas conflicts they actually knew and inherently cared about. I didnt even know who Che Guevara was, starting hs with these kids. They were actually drafting themselves as child soliders, in the culture war. They did all dress very chic, they had matured frames of reference and shoplifting chops. Mild affiliation/cross-pollination with the slightly nicer and way dorkier theatre kids via the Openly Gay Kid contingent. Naturally i never counted as Openly Gay because i was "bi" and they didnt care who i was dating plus "everyone's bi" so i didnt get any latent solidarity points for being out in hs, which seemed arbitrary at the time because their whole universe seemed to be a matrix of solidarity points, and the gold star jr gays were like there on a ticket of Being The Gay Accessory......but aaaactually, i had obviously managed to say and do a bunch of heinously braindead awkward-kid-with-fash-parents-but-the-kid-doesnt-even-get-that-yet-beyond-the-level-of-personal-grievance-with-their-restrictiveness type stuff and they had all written me off as pointless. Fair play to them, i had so much catching up to do. I think mostly theyre yuppies now. Except for the ones who got really into the 60s and no one ever saw them again, fade out

[akaashigiri]

Sleepy Jaegers

summary: eren and y/n are at a gathering at armin’s place, and their 2 year old is exhausted. eren is equally as exhausted.

pairing: dad!eren jaeger x fem!reader

word count: 1.69k

warnings: none, fluffff

a/n: sigh my baby fever possessed me to write this 💔 might make armin a father as well if people end up liking this one (i will anyway) 😋

These gatherings were almost like a ritual to the group.

There wasn’t ever a specific place they met, they would always gather in different places, wether it’d be the beach, a park, or at one of their homes. It didn’t matter where it took place, just as long as everyone was there. Everyone was obligated to come.

So of course that includes the littlest Jaeger.

It was mid September, and although the weather wasn’t bad at all, some didn’t really feel like going out to public places like the local park, so the group decided on Armin’s new place, since Sasha and Annie still have yet to see it (their homes are farther from the rest)

They were all gathered in the spacious living room; Jean and Sasha on the long couch, while Mikasa and Armin sat on the smaller one. Historia and Ymir shared the beige-colored chair in the corner of the room, while Annie sat on one of the kitchen stools as she watched Y/N and Connie do the dishes (Armin insisted, but the two almost threatened him if he were to touch a dish).

As soon as Eren walked in, he all but restricted anyone from sitting on the big beige reclining sofa, claiming that he deserved it for helping Armin pick it out. Eren was grateful for going to Ikea that day with Armin to pick out the sofa he was now slouched on, recliner out and all. It was now his favorite spot in the whole house (besides the kitchen, since he loved playing around with the smart refrigerator).

As Y/N passed another dish for Connie to rinse and dry, she suddenly felt a tug on her pants, looking down to meet the tired eyes of her daughter.

She was quick to rinse and dry her hands to pick her up, giving all of her attention to the little girl. “Aw, what’s wrong Mimi? Everything alright?” She asked, already noticing the fatigue on her face.

She only snuggled into her mother’s neck, giving her the simple response of, “Tired.” Her vocabulary was fairly short, due to the fact that she was only 2 and learned her words from the ones around her (Eren got in big trouble the day Y/N heard the word ‘shit’ come out of her daughter’s mouth).

Y/N wasn’t surprised she got tired easily today, since Jean gave her more candy then Y/N would usually allow. And with the way her, Ymir, and Mikasa were running around in the yard earlier today, Y/N already saw this coming.

“You’re tired?” she asked again, earning a nod from the crook of her neck. “Okay, mommy’s almost done. Go sit next to daddy until I finish, okay?” She tells her, moving her head back to face her daughter again. Myra nodded, allowing her mother to put her down.

Walking tiredly, Myra slowly moved through the kitchen and made her way to the living room, spotting her father laidback in the corner of the room, limbs sprawled out on the sofa.

Eren wasn’t sure if it was the father instincts, but he was the first to notice her presence in the room, stopping the ghost story Jean swears is real to bring his full attention to his daughter.

“Mimi’s come to save us, everyone!” Eren exclaims, throwing jazz hands up as everyone joined and cheered her on for simply walking in. Jean didn’t like what Eren was implying, but clapped nonetheless.

“You’re not funny. Aren’t dads supposed to tell good jokes?” He questioned, attempting to steal a fry from Sasha’s plate, but failing miserably as she only swats his hand away.

“No Jean, I think it’s the other way around, they’re supposed to be corny.” Armin butts in, watching with a smile as Myra finally starts walking towards her father.

Eren could already see the fatigue on her face, holding his arms out for her once she got a little closer. “What’s up Mimi, you tired?” Eren questioned, laughing as she instead of answering, simply lifted her arms up for him to take her.

She responds with a nod, her hair falling over her face as she was lifted onto his lap. As soon as she was situated, she wasted no time in making herself comfortable, wiggling out of her dad’s grasp and laying her stomach down on his, her head right above where his heart was.

“Nevermind.” he sighs, making the whole room burst out into laughter. This only made Myra whine, the loudness distrupting her attempt at sleeping. “Sorry Myra!” Sasha whispered, finally giving a fry to Jean afterwards.

“I wonder what got her so tired.” Annie questions, making Jean sink into the couch out of guilt as Eren sends him an irritated glance.

“Jean went and gave her a sugar rush before we got here. It was absolute hell.” Eren’s eyes furrow in frustration as he remembers earlier today and how hard it was for him to catch a nap without his energetic 2 year old jumping all over him. All while Jean was happily eating lunch with his wife.

“Okay, but I didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to have that much candy! Kids eat candy like crazy, right?” He attempts to defend himself, looking around the room for support, only to be met with silence.

“Yeah, thing is she’s not a kid! She’s a toddler! Dumbass.” he mumbles the last part, hoping that Y/N somehow wouldn’t hear. But she always found a way how.

“Can someone please slap Eren for me?” She yells from the kitchen. “Stop cursing in front of Myra!”

Eren has no time to defend himself as volunteers step up to do what their friend asked, but Mikasa was the quickest, and Eren was even quicker. He swiftly grabs Myra’s frog blanket from the bag sat beside him and hids his face in it, saving it from the harsh blow of Mikasa’s hand.

“You’re lucky I didn’t miss completely, I just don’t wanna wake Myra.” she confesses, walking back to her seat.

“God, I cant believe we almost named her after you.” Eren groaned, blanket still clutched in hand.

“Mimi’s close enough for me.” She smiles, noticing the way Myra starts to squirm a bit. “Throw the blanket over her, I think she’s cold.” She suggests, bringing Eren’s attention back to the little girl on his chest.

Eren is quick to unravel the rather big blanket from his grasp and take it in both hands to bring it in the air, watching it fall perfectly onto her small figure. The blanket basically covered his whole torso, the end tickling his neck a bit.

“Thanks again for the blanket, Historia. She loves it so much, a little too much.” he says, feeling his daughter move under the blanket so that her little arms were wrapped around his torso as far as she could go. “She won’t use the one I got her anymore.” he says with a slight frown.

The group laughs again, but quietly this time, not wanting the little girl to possibly wake up in a fit.

“I wouldn’t blame her, to be honest.” Jean shrugs, giving Eren a knowing glance, as well as a sly smirk. He knows how mad Y/N would get if he were to disobey her, especially a few minutes after she scolded him. Since Y/N was only a few feet away, Eren aggresively sticks his middle finger up to the man. It’s not like Myra could see through the blanket anyway.

“Are you gonna finish your ghost story, Jean?” Annie asked, although she didn’t believe a word. She just wants to see him make a fool out of himself.

Jeans eyes light up, snapping his fingers together as he sits upstraight again, ready to go into full detail once again. “Right! Okay, okay, so right when I went to shave my beard...”

Eren let’s Jean’s apparent ghost encounter story fade in the background, focusing on the shallow breaths coming from his daughter. He felt himself getting a little drowsy himself, as if her sleepiness was seeping into him.

He doesn’t waste time lifting the blanket a bit to wrap a protective arm around her small figure under it, adjusting his posture on the sofa and crossing his ankles over one another. His let his neck sink into the back of the couch, letting his head go as well so he facing the ceiling. With the warmth of the blanket and the little girl under it, he couldn’t help but close his drowsy eyes as well, finally giving in.

A few minutes pass and Jean is done telling his story, but of course, no one believes him. All except Historia. “Thank you, Historia! See I’m telling the truth. Morons.” Jean rolls his eyes at the way Armin and Sasha curl up as they laughed, Mikasa and Annie trying their best to hold in theirs.

Jean soon notices the person who would’ve regurlarly had the most to say was being awfully quiet. Getting ready to scold him for not listening, Jean is met with a site he has to admit, is the cutest thing he’s seen all year.

Eren was deep in slumber, soft snores coming from him and the little girl that rested as peacefully as he did on top of him. The print of his arm around her could be seen through the green blanket, as well as both of their steady breaths. They looked so comfortable, it would be a pain for them to get up soon, which they would have to eventually.

“Awww, they’re adorable!!” Historia exclaims from the other side of the room, which seemed to catch Y/N’s attention all the way from the kitchen.

“What’s happening? Is something cute happening? Someone take pictures!” She exclaimed, wanting to abandon the plates and take them herself, but thinks that would be rather rude to leave poor connie alone.

“On it!” Sasha and Jean say in unison. Both are quick to pull out their phones, Jean getting the more unappealing angles, while Sasha actually put some effort into it and snapped a few photos.

These were being sent to every single person on her contact list.

this was written at like 2 am sorry if there are typos i swear i reread 💔

also i’m currently working on a mob fic idk if ppl still like those but i most definitely do so watch out for that one :p

hope y’all liked this one lol

-aysha <3