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chahnniesroom · 3 months

Text

some loves

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: some loves are too hard to bear. years after being trainees together, chan still thinks of you all the time. he has no idea that a collaboration would lead him back to you.

word count: 6.9k

tags/warnings: reader is an independent singer/songwriter, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of past injuries, a little bit of jealousy, i am still in denial that chan doesn't do lives anymore, hongjoong from ateez is in this fic

read it on ao3 | masterlist

a/n: once again, sorry for the long time between posts. disclaimer that i do not know much about how the music/idol industry works and i did not really do much research. also i'm not an atiny so sorry if my portrayal of hongjoong is not realistic at all. also also i did a lot of the writing on a new tablet doing handwriting with a stylus to text so please forgive any typos or weird formatting! i didn't have a chance to edit much so i may have missed some things.

Chan’s in his studio when he gets the call. At first, he doesn’t even realise his phone is ringing. It’s 2am on a weekday and he’s been working away for a few hours so the rest of the world has just about faded into the background.

He’s both surprised and intrigued when he looks at the caller ID and sees Hongjoong’s name. Chan would consider Hongjoong to be a friend, but they’re not particularly close and he can’t think of a reason that would warrant this late night call.

“Hey hyung,” Hongjoong greets him briefly before getting straight to the point. “What’s your schedule like in the next few months?”

“It’s actually not too bad,” Chan replies after a moment of thought. “We’re just finalising all the music for the next album so it’ll be a bit of time before we get busy with recording and filming for the comeback. What’s up?”

“You don’t have the answer now and I don’t want you to feel any pressure at all, but would you be interested in doing a collab together?”

“A collab?” Chan repeats. “Like, ATEEZ and Stray Kids?”

“We could,” Hongjoong says reluctantly. “But actually, if you’re up for it then I was thinking more like just you and me. I have a couple tracks that we could work off of and I’ve roped in someone to help me with recording, engineering, and production.”

“Who?” Chan asks, interest piqued.

“Not sure if you’ve heard of them, they go by the name HALLA.”

Chan recognises the name instantly. When Chan had first stumbled upon HALLA one late night scrolling and listening to different independent artists, they seemed relatively unknown. However, a little research revealed that they had KOMCA credits on a number of songs for idol groups, some of which had become widely popular. Their personal work was a variety of genres and a majority of the tracks didn’t have vocals, but the ones that did had clever or thoughtful lyrics. There were a couple of different voices featured in the original songs, both of which were smooth and melodic. HALLA has a style that Chan thinks would complement Stray Kids and he’s considered reaching out to them a few times, but was always held back by something.

There was little about HALLA posted on the internet and while Chan definitely appreciates their privacy, he’s curious to meet the person behind all the songs that he enjoyed. There’s just something familiar about all their music that he can’t quite place, something that he wants more of.

“I’m in,” Chan agrees.

“You can take some time to think about it, talk to JYPE to see what their thoughts are too.”

“No need, I’m interested and I know I can convince management to support this.”

“Well that was easy,” Hongjoong says and Chan can basically hear him grinning through the phone. “And for my own pride, I’m going to pretend that you said yes the second I suggested the collab instead of when I mentioned HALLA-ssi.” Chan instantly flushes and is glad that Hongjoong can’t see him over the phone.

“It wasn’t-” Chan begins to protest.

“It’s okay,” Hongjoong interrupts. “I’m also pretty thrilled to get to work with them, so I understand. Didn’t realise you were familiar with their work, but I guess a hidden gem like them can’t stay hidden for long. I’ll send some files over to you and we can organise a time to work.”

—

Chan finds it easy to work with Hongjoong and they make quick progress on the song, writing lyrics and creating a guide within a couple of weeks. Before he knows it, they’ve scheduled a time for Chan to visit KQ Entertainment to record vocals. Hongjoong knows that Chan is keen to be involved in the production and arrangement of the song too, so they also have a couple sessions booked for that, although Hongjoong teases him relentlessly about just wanting to work with HALLA. The worst part is that Chan can’t even deny it.

Hongjoong meets him at the entrance of KQ Entertainment and quickly takes him through security.

“HALLA-ssi is already in the studio,” Hongjoong explains as they wait for the elevator to arrive. “I was getting input on a track that’s been killing me for the past few days.”

“Did they help?” Chan asks, a little surprised that HALLA is involved in more than just this collaboration. He still hasn't had a chance to connect with them other than quick introductions through text a couple of days ago and he's just as excited to meet them as initially.

“Yeah!” Hongjoong grins, eyes curving into little crescents. “HALLA-ssi is amazing. She only had listen to it a couple times before she came up with suggestions on a few different ways to fix the part that I hated. I left her to finish cleaning the song up and then it’s basically ready for review.”

“How did you start working with HALLA-ssi? I’ve been meaning to try to connect with her.”

“It was actually a friend that suggested working with her. For someone who isn’t signed with a label- which I don’t know how nobody has signed her yet- she’s surprisingly well connected within the industry. I’m sure that KQ would be more than happy to have her work with us, but when I hinted at that, she didn’t seem interested.”

“Really?” Although KQ Entertainment is still one of the smaller companies in the industry, most unsigned artists would still jump at the chance to work there since they have a good reputation, especially due to ATEEZ’s popularity.

“I haven’t poked too much, it’s not really my business. I thought I might as well try. I just know that she’s amazing at her job and I’m grateful that I get to work with her at all.”

They turn the corner to the hallway that leads to the recording studio. The door is ajar and Hongjoong opens it, waving his arm forward to allow Chan to walk through first, before following closely behind.

HALLA’s sitting at the desk and the second Chan sees her face, he stops in his tracks.

“Y/n,” Chan breathes.

You look up, startled, and your eyes connect for a split second before Hongjoong crashes into Chan, sending them both tumbling to the ground.

“Hyung,” Hongjoong complains, unaware of Chan’s inner turmoil. “Why’d you stop?”

Chan lets out an apologetic wheeze from where he’s now trapped under Hongjoong, before resting his forehead against the ground. He needs a second to recover.

It feels like a punch to the gut to see you in front of the recording studio’s computer, fiddling with a track. You look different, but somehow it feels like Chan has been transported right back to his trainee days and all that time that the two of you had spent side by side.

It has been years since Chan last saw you. He had found out that you had left JYPE just months after Stray Kids officially debuted, but all efforts to track you down had been futile. You had changed your number and broken contact with all the other trainees. He had asked around a little bit, but everyone he talked to had been unusually cagey about the subject.

Suddenly, everything makes more sense, especially the little that he knows about HALLA.

As trainees, Chan’s favourite moments had been when you had regaled him with stories of growing up on Jeju Island. The two of you had connected early on through your shared love of the ocean. You had promised him that if he ever went to visit in his free time, you would take him on the best trails up to the Hallasan, the shield volcano, and show him incredible views from the highest point on the island. Occasionally, your parents would send you care packages and the two of you would open them hidden away in one of the vocal practice rooms, the sweet citrus of hallabong exploding in your mouths.

You had always spoken about Jeju Island so fondly, of course you would find a way to indirectly pay homage through the stage name that you chose.

“Oppa,” your voice rings out in the silence of the room. Now, Chan knows why the female voice on some of HALLA’s songs had always seemed hauntingly familiar. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” both Chan and Hongjoong say at the same time, then make eye contact with identical confused expressions.

“Hongjoong-ssi, you didn’t mention that the person you wanted to feature on the track was Channie-oppa,” you say, making it clear who you were addressing your concern to earlier.

“It was supposed to be a surprise!” Hongjoong gets up slowly, dusting off his clothes and scratching at the back of his head, still looking bewildered. “I had no idea that you two knew each other, hyung mentioned he hadn’t worked with you before.”

Chan stays quiet, not sure how much you’re willing to share. Hongjoong must not know about your time with JYPE if he can’t piece together how the two of you could have met.

“Oh- I used to- We trained together back in the day,” you explain sheepishly. “I was with JYPE for a little while and all the trainees knew who Channie-oppa was. That was a long time ago though, I didn’t use the name HALLA back then.”

The five years that you trained at JYPE are more than a little while, but Chan forces himself to bite his tongue at your deliberate understatement. You don’t elaborate further and while it’s obvious that Hongjoong isn’t satisfied with your answer, he’s willing to drop the topic for now. You look relieved when he switches the subject to the song.

The three of you finish recording quickly. It shouldn’t be a surprise, the work so far with Hongjoong has been smooth so adding you to the mix has just made things easier, but Chan knows he’s a perfectionist and it often takes him an almost embarrassing number of takes before he’s satisfied. The only delay comes when Hongjoong decides he wants you to sing some of the backing vocals and resorts to actually getting on his knees and begging. Chan doesn’t go so far, but he can’t help but agree that your voice blends with the song perfectly. Of course, he also just wants to hear you sing.

You relent when Chan quietly voices his agreement and it really shouldn't make Chan feel as smug as it does.

It’s not even early enough for dinner when things are wrapped up. Chan is usually eager to finish a schedule early, but he’s reluctant to leave, taking his time packing up his belongings.

Finally, he doesn’t have a reason to stay any longer so he musters up the courage to ask.

“Do you guys want to go grab some coffee or something to eat?”

You and Hongjoong make eye contact before turning to look at Chan guiltily. His stomach churns for some reason.

“I’m sorry,” you wince. “I actually promised to help Hongjoong-ssi with an ATEEZ song and we need to go over the edits that I made before his meeting with the company later today.”

“Oh,” Chan replies, feeling a little relieved. “Right, no yeah I get it. Hongjoong actually mentioned that earlier, but I forgot. My bad.”

You offer an apologetic smile before turning to the computer, opening up a file.

“I’ll see you guys next time, then,” Chan says, starting to back out of the room.

“Of course! Thank you for your hard work and good job today!” you say brightly. Looking distracted, Hongjoong mumbles an agreement and waves goodbye. Unlike you, he’s not staring at the computer monitor though. Instead, his focus is solely on you. Even from his side profile, Chan can tell that he’s enamoured.

Honestly, Chan can’t really blame him, you look comfortable and confident, swallowed up in an oversized hoodie as you start explaining the alterations that you made to the track. Your voice is calm, but warm and you’re careful to start off by complimenting the work that Hongjoong had done previously.

Chan leaves, resolutely ignoring the twisted feeling that’s back with a vengeance and any thoughts of what the cause might be.

—

Chan can’t sleep. His thoughts are all about you, what you’ve been doing the past few years, what happened to you at JYPE that made you leave, and mostly trying to remember how and why your relationship with him slowly fell apart.

That’s the hardest part. In the darkest time of his life, when Chan had been discouraged and disheartened, you had joined JYPE with a brightness and enthusiasm that gave Chan the motivation to continue being a trainee. He had adored you. He still does.

In those last few months before the survival show had been filmed, Chan’s relationship with you had gone from being everything to nothing. It happened in the blink of an eye, and Chan had never understood what caused you to withdraw so quickly and thoroughly. The two of you had gone from spending almost all of your free time together to you avoiding him at the company, pretending not to hear when he called out your name or tried to get your attention.

The regret of letting you slip away has always eaten away at him, but now more than ever.

Of course, at the time it hadn’t felt so simple. The survival show was Chan’s first serious chance to debut, and not just that, but the weight of having eight other people’s careers depending on his leadership took a toll on all his other relationships. Your absence in his life still hurt, but Chan had lots of practice losing people. He had coped in the way that worked best in the past, throwing himself headlong into producing, training, anything to keep himself from wallowing in his feelings.

Chan doesn’t have any schedules for today, but he still heads to the company. He knows this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with things, but he doesn’t know anything else.

When he arrives, Chan just barely manages to catch a glimpse of a few familiar faces. He calls out before he can think better of it, jogging slightly to catch up. Sana, Momo, and Mina watch curiously as he approaches. He knows that Twice also aren’t in a busy period of the year, so he doesn’t feel guilty delaying them.

“Sorry to bother you all. Sana-noona, I was just wondering if we could chat?”

Sana makes brief eye contact with the rest of the girls before agreeing and waving them to go ahead of her. She follows behind Chan as he leads them into his studio, clearly interested in determining the reason behind this atypical meet up.

“What’s up, Channie?” she asks once the door is closed behind them.

Chan tries to think of the best way to start, not wanting to just outright ask, but not knowing how to subtly steer the conversation into the right direction. Finally, he abandons trying to be casual and just blurts out, “Do you remember Y/n?”

“Of course I do,” Sana says, sounding amused at the sudden mention of you. “You both had reputations for being veteran trainees. I mean, other than Jihyo.”

“I was always surprised that she never debuted,” Chan admits. “I just thought it would happen eventually and I was so shocked to find out that she had left. I didn’t- I don’t understand why she gave up on something she wanted so badly.”

“Give up?” Sana asks, sounding like she’s offended on your behalf. “Why would you say it like that?”

“What do you mean? It was like she was there one day and gone the next, I just assumed that she had enough and quit. Nobody seemed to know anything about it. I never found out why and it’s been kind of killing me.”

“You didn’t hear what happened?”

“What- something happened? To her?” Chan swallows hard, suddenly feeling unwell.

“It- I thought that you of all people would know-”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, but- you never talked to her about it? You knew her better than any of us.”

“Noona, I didn’t know that she was gone until months later. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it to me, I never reached out at first. When I finally did, her number had been changed. What was I supposed to do?”

“I- It’s better if you were to hear it from her. I don’t know the full story and you know how things can be distorted through gossip. And you especially must know how dangerous that can be.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You really have no clue? The two of you were inseparable…”

“Please,” Chan pleads.

“You know how it is in the industry, you were so close, of course there were rumours…”

It suddenly clicks.

“But we were just friends! And the dating ban-”

“Chan, you know nobody actually sticks to those, right?”

“But really, we were never-”

“I believe you,” Sana says, carefully. “But you know that to management that it doesn’t really matter whether or not anything was actually going on. To them it’s all about the optics. A perceived relationship is just as dangerous as an actual one.”

“Management…” Chan repeats, his mind racing. “They never mentioned anything to me though.”

“You never found it suspicious? You two are extremely close and out of the blue she suddenly stops talking to you, then right after the two of you stop hanging out, you’re chosen for the survival show? Someone must have talked to her at some point. Maybe not management, but for sure someone.”

“You think that’s why it took so long for me to debut?” Chan asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“It was a liability,” Sana explains. “To have a dating scandal so early on? Neither of your careers would survive. It’s painful and a terrible part of the industry but it’s true.”

“And.. Why she left, you know about that too?” Chan pleads.

“I think I’ve said too much already. I know that it’s hard, but some things are really personal.” She pauses for a moment. “What brought this on, anyway? You haven’t mentioned Y/nnie in years.”

“I can’t say much, but I- I saw her today, got to talk to her, found out what she’s been up to.” Sana gasps. Chan continues. “It was so weird to see her after so long. In the back of my mind, I had always wondered, but…”

“I’m glad that you two got to reconnect,” Sana says gently. “The two of you cared about each other a lot, that much was obvious. Talk to her, I think at the very least you’ll be able to find peace about what happened.”

“Noona-” Chan reaches out and pulls Sana into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it.”

“Of course. I’m sorry that it took so long for you to find out.”

—

A few days later, Hongjoong schedules another session to work on the song. Leading up to it, Chan is both looking forward to it and nervous, not sure what to expect. Although he still really wants to know what happened to you all those years ago, he’s scared about what he might learn and any part he might have had in it.

After a sleepless night, he ends up arriving almost 15 minutes early. This time, Hongjoong isn’t waiting at the building’s entrance. Instead he had let him know a few days before that Chan could just sign himself in and had sent him the name and location of the studio that was booked. When Chan reaches it, he can make out conversation from inside.

“HALLA,” Hongjoong can be heard through the studio doors, which aren’t fully shut. His tone is petulant and much more casual than it was previously. Chan wonders how much time the two of you have spent together between then and now and he almost misses the next thing that Hongjoong says. “You never told me that you were a trainee before.”

That stops Chan in his tracks, interested in how you’ll respond.

“It was a long time ago.” Your voice is faint. You’re still nice, but Chan can tell that your voice is stiffer than usual. “It doesn’t really matter now.”

This time, Hongjoong doesn’t let it go.

“What happened?” he prods.

“Just drop it,” you warn him. “It’s the past, forget I told you in the first place. Nothing ever came of it anyway.”

“Y/n-” Hongjoong changes tactics, the nagging tone replaced with a quieter, more serious one. You sigh.

“It didn’t work out. Obviously. I’m just not idol material.”

“Oh come on, I don’t believe that for a second. Your producing is good enough that I know for sure you’ve been getting offers to work with more companies than just KQ. When you direct during recording, you can hit every note without any warm up or practice. And I’ve heard your original songs, you must have been considered for both the position of lead rapper and lead singer as a trainee because there’s no way that anybody would let your talent go to waste.” Hongjoong is breathing hard by the end of his rant and Chan can see that this is something that has been bothering him for a while.

“It’s okay, Hongjoong-oppa.” Your voice is gentle, like you’re trying to comfort him. “I’m happy with what I have right now. Really. I’m grateful for all the freedom I have. Getting to work on any project I want and experiment with my music without having to deal with the bureaucracy and politics of the industry? Having that independence is precious to me. I wanted to be an idol for a long long time. But even though that specific plan I had didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean I’m not happy with what I’m doing.”

Hongjoong stays quiet for a while.

“Do you think that if you had the opportunity to debut as an idol now, you would?” he finally asks.

“Oppa, it’s not possible. I can’t dance, I’m too old-” you protest.

“No no, just hypothetically. Like if someone walked into the room and handed you a contract and said that if you signed it in an hour then you’d be able to debut.”

“I- I don’t know.”

“What’s your gut feeling?”

“I think I left that dream behind, I don’t know if I want to go down that path again. I don’t think I have it in me.”

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong says after another pause. “I shouldn’t have questioned you so much, you shouldn’t have to justify your decisions to me.”

“No, it’s fine. It seems strange, right? For me to be an artist in Seoul and not want to get signed, it's only natural for you to be curious. But I learned a lot when I was a trainee and I learned even more after that and I can say with certainty that this is what I want.”

Chan takes that opportunity to knock on the studio door and push it open.

“Hey, hope I’m not interrupting,” he says, as if he wasn’t just eavesdropping on their conversation and purposely chose when to cut in. “Sorry, I’m a little bit late.”

“Hey, no problem man,” Hongjoong says. “We haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, so you’re right on time.”

“Good to see you,” you chime in. “I think this should be pretty quick so let’s get started!”

As you predicted, it doesn’t take long before a majority of the song is finished. Normally, Chan would be keen to stay involved until the very last detail is finalised, but he trusts you and at the end of this day, it’s Hongjoong’s song so he’s happy to give him the final say.

At the end of the session, Chan once again uses the opportunity to try to catch you alone. The two of you are side by side, packing your bags and Chan asks if you have any plans for the rest of the day. You confirm that you're available and Chan is about to suggest that the two of you take the time to catch up when Hongjoong interrupts.

“Oh, Y/n-ah,” he says. “I was actually hoping to get your input on something and I didn’t have a chance to ask you earlier. Can you please stick around for a bit? Sorry, hyung.”

Hongjoong sounds so sincere that Chan almost doesn’t feel annoyed that he’s stealing all of your time and attention. Almost, because at the end of the day, Chan’s only human. Even though he knows he has no right to feel possessive over you, he can’t stop the petty jealousy that bubbles up inside of him. At this point, there’s no denying the emotion.

Just like the previous session, he leaves alone, heading directly to the studio. Hours later, his breath catches when he checks his phone and sees that you’ve texted him.

[Received - 8:04pm]

Channie-oppa~

[Received - 8:04pm]

This is Y/nnie

[Received - 8:05pm]

Sorry about earlier, I have a contract with KQ Entertainment and work comes first :/

[Received - 8:09pm]

But I’m free now! You still interested in catching up?

Chan stares at the messages until it feels like they’re burned into his retinas. Logically, he knew that you had his number, the two of you were in a group chat that Hongjoong had set up, but this was your first time messaging him privately. The first time you had reached out in years. A precious opportunity that he never thought that he would have. He doesn’t want to mess this up.

He’s also shocked to see you texting so casually. Although the two of you have been comfortable in person, he wasn’t sure that it would translate to one-on-one conversation.

[Sent - 8:10pm]

Hey Y/n!

[Sent - 8:11pm]

No worries at all, I understand. I’m the same way too

[Sent - 8:13pm]

I still wanna meet up… but I’m all the way back in Gangdong-gu 😅 It’d be a bit of a trek for you if you're still at KQ

[Received - 8:13pm]

Gangdong-gu?

[Received - 8:14pm]

Ohh JYPE

[Received - 8:14pm]

My bad, forgot that you guys moved

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Yeahhh

[Sent - 8:15pm]

Headed straight back to the company after we were done, sorry

[Received - 8:18pm]

Well… If you’re willing to wait then I don’t mind. KQ is close to a metro station anyway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

Wait, really?

[Sent - 8:18pm]

No no no, don’t take the subway

[Sent - 8:18pm]

I’ll send a driver. They’re gonna pick you up in 20 min

[Received - 8:19pm]

Wowow

[Received - 8:19pm]

Private driver?

[Received - 8:20pm]

You’re a real superstar now haha

[Sent - 8:21pm]

alsfjshkafs noooooooo

[Sent - 8:21pm]

It’s just faster

[Sent - 8:21pm]

and safer

[Received - 8:22pm]

I’m not complaining

[Received - 8:22pm]

but I’m going to get your autograph when I see you

[Received - 8:23pm]

If I sell it then I can probably afford my own private driver 🤭

[Sent - 8:24pm]

Knew it

[Sent - 8:25pm]

You’re just using me for my fame

[Received - 8:26pm]

Ah you got me this time

[Received - 8:26pm]

*Your fame, your talent, and your good looks

[Received - 8:27pm]

Even tho you were the one that said you wanted to meet up

[Received - 8:27pm]

Hmmm maybe you’re the one using me?

Chan listens to his phone as it continues to vibrate from where it’s lodged in between two of the couch cushions after he threw it across to the opposite side of the room. His face is buried in his hands and flaming red. He feels both giddy and terribly embarrassed.

Chan’s no stranger to flirting, he’s experienced his fair share being on either side through interactions with the members and with Stay, but he forgot how flustered he was being on the receiving end of your teasing. The part he never understood is that your playful tone always gave way to sincerity. Even when the two of you would joke around, he could always tell that you meant every comment that you made about Chan being talented or attractive and that flattered him almost as much as it baffled him.

[Received - 8:32pm]

?? Speechless that I caught on?

[Received - 8:36pm]

I think your driver has arrived… Otherwise I’m being kidnapped

[Received - 8:40pm]

Don’t think I would survive a horror film… I got into the car with no questions asked

[Received - 8:42pm]

It was nice knowing you I guess

When he realises how much time has passed, Chan grabs his phone and runs down to the back entrance of the company. Luckily you haven’t arrived yet and he takes the time to reply to your messages.

[Sent - 8:53pm]

Sorry, lost track of time

[Sent - 8:53pm]

They’ll drop you off at the back door, I’ll meet you there so you don’t have to get signed in or anything

[Received - 8:54pm]

Don’t think you’re getting away with ignoring my other texts

[Received - 8:55pm]

But thanks

[Received - 8:55pm]

Is this back door, the famous one that only allows in authorised people?

[Received - 8:55pm]

I’m honoured

Chan rolls his eyes at your cheesy reference and is in the middle of typing up a response when he sees the car pull up. You step out cautiously, then brighten when you see where Chan’s propping up the door.

“Hey,” Chan greets you. “Glad that you made it safely.”

“Thanks for the ride,” you say, looking around curiously as Chan leads you to an elevator that takes you to the rest of the building. “So this is the new and improved JYP Entertainment. I’d say that it looks the same as before, but I never got the chance to come in.”

“Yeah,” Chan says, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck as he walks. “I mean it’s pretty nice, but at the end of the day a practice room is a practice room and that’s where we spend most of our time.”

“Hmm I think we might have to agree to disagree on that one. You have your own studio don’t you?”

“Ah, kind of. It’s technically a shared one, but practically I’m the only one that uses it unless we’re out of the country for a long time,” Chan confirms.

“Seems a lot better than what we used to have! Do you remember when we used to cram ourselves into that tiny room that barely even fit two chairs and a table?”

“I almost forgot about that, it was so terrible! In the summer it would get so hot that we’d keep the door open-”

“And then someone would come yell at us because we’d be playing music too loud-”

“I remember begging management to install a portable air conditioner on multiple occasions, but they always refused.”

“Of course! Even if they weren’t so stingy, there weren’t any windows leading outside in there, how could they install it?”

“Is that why? I always thought they just wanted us to suffer.”

“That too,” you giggle for a moment, before your smile fades. “But they weren’t totally unreasonable. Management has a different perspective than us, sometimes they know better than us because of their understanding of the industry. They can see things that we don’t.”

It’s clear that you’re no longer talking about air conditioning anymore. A lump seems to have formed in Chan’s throat when he recalls his conversation with Sana. Luckily, the two of you have just arrived and Chan forces himself to smile.

“We’re here,” he says, opening the door and motioning for you to enter ahead of him. “Welcome to Channie’s Room!”

“It’s cute!” you say as you step in. “Very… neat. It’s actually more spacious than it looks.”

“Oh,” Chan says, faltering in his steps for a second. “You- you’ve seen my studio?”

“In case you didn’t realise, you go live every week from said studio. I think at this point everyone in the K-pop industry and every K-pop fan has seen it,” you tease.

“Right, yeah. I didn’t- I wasn’t sure how much you kept up with that kind of stuff,” Chan stammers.

“K-pop or do you mean specifically Stray Kids?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.

“Either I guess," Chan shrugs.

"I will admit that it took me a while to get back into it," you say slowly. "I wasn't... in the best mindset after I left." Chan stays quiet, sensing that you're not quite finished. "I know that I disappeared and I am sorry for not reaching out. I wanted to, but I also didn't know how. I know that I hurt you. That it was cruel to avoid you, not reply to your messages, ignore your calls. I had my reasons why, but it doesn't excuse the pain that I caused, and I'm sorry for that too."

“I think,” Chan swallows hard. “I think that the most difficult part was that for the longest time, I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I asked Sana about it finally, after I saw you again. And I just felt so stupid to realise that it was obvious to everyone except me."

“I’m sorry,” you say again. “I wanted to tell you, of course I wanted to. But I also knew you. If I had told you that us being together was preventing your debut-”

“I wouldn’t have cared,” Chan finishes your sentence for you, starting to understand. “I would have done anything to keep you by my side.”

"Even if it meant throwing away your career," you say softly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourself. You worked so hard, how could I live with being the reason that you were stuck in the training rooms? You belong on stage, making music.”

"The part that I still don’t get though is why you left? You should have been able to debut as well, I know it."

“Ah,” you say wistfully. You look around and grab onto the pillow that’s on the couch beside you, fidgeting with it as you figure out what to say next. “You know, I actually was supposed to debut.”

“What? How come I never heard about it?” Chan feels a pang in his chest. All these years ago, the two of you had promised that the other would be the first person that they would tell if they ever found out that they had the chance to debut. It seemed that neither of them had kept their promise.

“It was supposed to be a secret project. JYP wanted to see how successful a surprise debut announcement would be. You should have seen the NDAs that they made us sign.” You shake your head, letting out a huff of air. “It turned out to be a good decision because it meant they could cancel it without anyone knowing that we existed in the first place.”

"Who was in the group?" Chan asks.

"There were five of us. I think you know all of them, Sumin, Ryujin, Sojin, and Hyowon," you list. You're right, Chan is either familiar with or has heard of all the girls that you mention. It doesn't make sense though, the group was filled with talented individuals and Chan can't think of any reason strong enough to lead to disbandment. Even more baffling is that of the five of you, only Ryujin ended up staying at the company long enough to join the lineup for another group.

"And they just cancelled it out of nowhere?"

“No... It was- I know that for any idol, preparing for debut is tough, but I think that in some ways, it’s especially brutal for the girl groups," you say instead. Chan doesn't question you further, knowing that you must have a point that you're trying to make.

“How so?” Chan has an idea, he’s seen what the female trainees went through, the differences in how they were evaluated and criticised. But he wants to hear it from you, wants to understand what you’ve been through.

“The visual aspect feels like it’s more heavily emphasised than our talent or skills. We were measured for our music video outfits the second they finalised the concept. It was really early on, but at the time I thought it was so exciting and fun that I didn’t question it. I think that all of us were so thrilled by the thought of debuting that we didn't think anything of it. We did our final fittings for it a few weeks before filming and they had made them all a size too small, everything was just a little bit too tight. They didn’t outright say it, but it was implied that they weren’t going to alter them. It was a choice to lose weight or our chance to debut was gone. We were devastated and angry and eventually just resigned. If that's what it took then I would do it. We dieted like crazy for the time leading up to filming,” you laugh, but it's in disbelief, the sound is hollow.

Paired with what you’re saying, it makes Chan want to burn the whole world down. He doesn't say anything, not sure if he can even open his mouth without letting his rage escape, something that you don't deserve.

“We were practising, like always," you continue. "There was a tricky step that needed to be fixed by the next day when we’d be recording, a flip that we hadn't quite mastered. I was the smallest one on the team, so I was the one being flipped. It must have been like 3 or 4 in the morning, we were all tired, hungry, and nervous about filming. Honestly, I don't quite remember what happened, it was all a blur. There was just this feeling that something went wrong and then pain."

You roll up the pants on your left leg and show off the skin there. Chan has to hold back a gasp at the sight. Even though it’s long healed, the scarring is extensive and obvious. Chan can't imagine how much it must have hurt.

“I broke my ankle in two places and sprained my wrist. I couldn't believe it, five years of my life just gone in an instant. It took months before I could walk and even longer before I could dance again. Even now, I can't dance anywhere close to the way that I used to," you say with a watery smile. “Sojinnie had a concussion from the fall and Suminnie dislocated her shoulder, I must have knocked into them or fallen onto them or something. What could we do? Three out of the five of us were out of commission, there was no time and no budget for a group that hadn’t even debuted to find replacements or re-record and re-film everything. I woke up after surgery and they told me that they were sorry, but my contract with the company was over. That someone had helped me pack up all my things in the dorm. I went back to Jeju-do as soon as I was released from the hospital.”

"I- I'm sorry that I didn't know," Chan says, clearing his throat roughly when his voice breaks partway through the sentence. " I wish that I could have been there, to help or comfort you. I should have-"

"Oppa," you respond gently. "It's okay. I didn't tell anybody what happened and the company also kept things quiet. I'm glad you didn't find out at the time. You had other, more important things to focus on, I didn't want to distract you from that."

"You're not a distraction," Chan says incredulously. "You're important to me, I would have dropped everything to be with you in such a difficult time."

"And that's exactly why I couldn't tell you. You've always been too good to me, Channie-oppa," you sniffle. "Look at you now! I'm so always proud when I think of how far you've come."

Chan lifts a trembling hand and carefully cups your face, using his thumb to wipe away a tear that has started making its way down your cheek. He hears your breathing hitch, but you don't object to his touch. If anything, you melt into it.

Chan takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, bringing you close. The gesture breaks the dam of tears that you must have been holding back. Chan rocks the two of you back and forth gently, just letting you cry and trying to surreptitiously wipe away his own tears. It takes a few minutes before you calm, taking huge shuddering breaths that break Chan's heart almost as much as your sobs had.

"I'm sorry," you say with a voice thick with emotion.

"Hey, no," Chan reassures you. "There's no need to apologise. Are you feeling better now?"

You nod slowly, head still pressed against Chan's chest.

"I think- I think I just missed you. I always thought it would get easier, not having you in my life, but it never did."

At your words, Chan can't help his arms from tightening, squeezing you close.

"I finally found you again," he says. "And this time, I promise that I won't ever let you go."

read it on ao3 | masterlist

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moodymisty · 28 days

Note

I’ve wanted to ask this for a while and I’m glad I can finally ask. It not exactly a request, but I’m sure it still counts as a head canon ask

So in to regards to the original 20 legions, how would you rank having a harem of space marines from that legion

It’s no contest that Salamanders are pretty high on the list, and it’s safe to say that the Iron Hands are at the bottom of the list, just to give an example

I was just curious to know your opinion on where you would ranks the other legions and where they would fall on a hypothetical list

Author's note: I love this XD this ask was so much fun to think about let me have my astartes harem

Warnings: You have multiple space marine husbands i don't know what that qualifies as i just figured it would be a worthwhile warning

Dark Angels: How'd you even get a group of them together without killing eachother? Impressive.

Ultramarines: A good harem of space marines to have. Organized too, there may or may not be a spreadsheet of wife time that exists but they firmly deny it.

Alpha Legion: Sneaky harem, each of them likes to sneak into your room and try and have time with you alone, only to get busted by the others also doing the same thing.

Iron Warriors: Don't.

Luna Wolves/Sons of Horus: Not a bad choice, though if there's going to be a harem happening in his legion, it's probably going to be Horus, his wife, and his Mournival just being real here. He's not allowing shit like that to happen without his presence.

World Eaters: Don't. Don't put multiple of these guys in the same room it isn't going to end well. They're like bettas.

Word Bearers: They really go hard on the worshipping thing. You are their princess and it's cute at first, but they get very overbearing. At least they don't fight with eachother much.

Blood Angels: They are some of the best, the only major downside is all of them have an appetite, so there's probably not going to be many times where you aren't somewhat woozy.

Iron Hands: Terrible, but mostly because their aloof and stoic nature isn't as cute as Imperial fists.

Emperor's Children: They are all super dedicated and love showering you in gifts. Don't think too hard about where they came from.

Imperial Fists: You have the most emotionally constipated men ever. They are incredibly protective and you have never felt safer, but they also have the emotive potential of a piece of sheet metal.

Space Wolves: The most chaotic bunch of husbands ever. They are always fighting with eachother, mostly joking but it sometimes gets serious, and most of the time it isn't even about you. Are terrible at sharing, and someones lost a finger because of a brawl over wife rights.

Death Guard: Your stinky, stinky husbands are terrible. They really like bringing you flowers though.

Thousand Sons: They all argue with each other nonstop which is annoying, but every now and again they'll work together and you'll have the best, warp fuckery filled night of your life.

Salamanders: As you would've expected, you've won the lottery. You have some of the best astartes in the galaxy who are quite happy to have you as well. They all know how to share, and don't try and kill eachother which given previous legions is a definite plus.

Raven Guard: They're pretty calm by the standards of others on this list, so not the worst. It can get a bit annoying to manage each of their depressive pouting fits though.

Night Lords: DON'T? As fun as it might seem to be a barracks bunny for a group of chunky Night Lords, this is a terrible idea. There's a non 0% chance you'll end up as a snack, and not the fun kind.

White Scars: Probably the best harem to be honest, given they probably have actual harems on Chogoris so the whole thing is familiar. Each are equally proud of their wife and it's really cute.

#space marine x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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cinnbar-bun · 4 months

Note

Hi. I hope you’re doing well at the moment. If not, feel free to push off writing this request or to ignore it altogether.

I’m curious to see what headcanons you have about Bruno and how he’d feel about receiving flower arrangements from a S/O.

Your wish is my command, nonnie!!!

Bruno Bucciarati Receiving a Flower Arrangement From his S/O

Rating: SFW

Word Count: ~1k

Notes: Just fluff, plus a minor mention of Bruno's backstory in a bullet point (nothing major). GN reader as always, and just lots of loving for our fave capo <3 As well as cameos from the rest of the gang.

One thing that’s for certain is that your capo adores the flowers. He was rather shocked to see the florist hand deliver him such a large bouquet.

At first, he briefly thought it was from you- but, well, that’d be kind of selfish to assume, wouldn’t it? So he thinks it’s maybe a thank-you gift from one of the many citizens in Napoli he’s helped.

However, once he reads the card with the message you put on it, the adoration on his face is clear. He’s touched beyond belief.

He immediately puts the flowers in a vase as a centerpiece for the table of their room. He’s kind of hoping that the others ask about it so he can proudly gloat that his lovely, wonderful partner got them for him.

Mista and Narancia will whine and then wonder if they can ever get flowers from their s/o one day, and Bruno teases them by saying that if they get their act together, they just might.

Fugo acts like he doesn’t give a shit but he’s pretty happy that Bruno is happy and has you as his partner. The young boy is grateful that there’s someone who takes care of Bruno after all Bruno does for everyone else.

Abbacchio complains about the smell of the flowers, citing them as being too strong or something while he’s drinking his wine or listening to his music. Despite that, he’ll be damned before he touches or does anything to them. Bruno knows Abbacchio would never throw them out despite his complaints, so he often jokes back that Abbacchio is just jealous he is not getting flowers.

Trish is wide-eyed at the gift you got Bruno, thinking it’s romantic, and remarks that the bouquet has to be super expensive. She joins in with Mista and Narancia about wanting a nice bouquet of flowers from her future lover.

Giorno thinks it’s a nice gift and feels it says a lot about you that you would gift Bruno them. Especially if you took the time to arrange the bouquet or choose specific flowers/colors, it makes Giorno appreciate and think higher of you.

Bruno would love any kind of bouquet you’d get him. He adores them and always, always, always will appreciate them and do his best to keep them alive and fresh for as long as possible (including, but not limited to, enlisting Giorno’s help to freshen them up)

That said, he does have different (but positive) reactions to the flowers depending on what type you may have chosen for him!

If you got him roses (any color): he’d be extra romantic and sappy to you. Roses are the flowers of love, aren’t they? And this was most certainly your way of trying to show him your desire for him, wasn’t it? So he’ll pay it back by using more Italian pet names with you or more romantic gestures as if he were a lovesick puppy.

If you got him a bright, colorful bouquet: he’d be quick to think it stands out from the rest of the room, but frankly, it was a necessary one. He would do his best to make the flowers stand out even more by using a colorful vase/glass and putting it directly in front of everyone. Everyone has to see this. He smiles brightly when he sees them, too, and it makes him think about how much light you’ve given in his life. He becomes eager to pull you close.

If you got him a white bouquet (any flowers): He’d be more solemn and deliberate in his movements and decisions. Quieter displays of his affection will ensue, with him taking your hand to his and pressing kisses on it, buying your favorite food/drink, and whispering the sweetest words of poetry known to man in your ear. Those flowers were what he saw often during funeral processions, but it’s also seen in weddings, too. It’s a sort of reminder to himself that his time with you is limited and that every moment with you is a precious thing to be savored.

If you got him a pastel bouquet: He reacts in a way that’s a mixture of the bright flowers and the white flowers. He reacts more on the quieter end, but is less prone to the feelings of nostalgia he may have had with the white flowers. He finds these ones sweet and gentle, and it, in turn, makes him act pretty gentle with you. Tons of romantic words in your ear and kisses peppered all over your face are what awaits you.

If you got him a bouquet with darker flowers: At first, he’s taken aback by the colors. Not in a bad way, they’re flowers and they’re from you on top of that. He’s just a bit surprised that flowers could be arranged in such a way, but it’s so unique like you? Oh my gosh? It’s unconventional but makes him smile, and he is proud to have them as a centerpiece. He’s quick to thank you and he will get more specific in his praises and compliments for you. More affectionate and grateful here, but more teasing as well.

Seriously, buy him flowers, it makes his day- nay, his week(s)- and gives him more motivation. He’s not used to being treated often, but with you, every day is a treat, and every gift you give him makes him practically melt.

Plus, how could you resist the wide-eyed smile he does when he realizes that you were the one who sent the flowers?

#jojo x reader #jjba x reader #reader insert #x reader #jojo hcs #jjba hcs #bruno bucciarati #bruno buccellati #jojo #jjba #golden wind #jjba part 5 #vento aureo #bruno bucciarati x reader #Bruno bucellati x reader

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kirkscarr · 2 months

Text

ok so i just finished my book cover for First, Best Destiny - Part 1 by the amazing @ophelia-j !!

admittedly i was going to wait until i actually attached the text block to the cover before i posted this haha, but i was SO excited after making this cover that i decided to just post it and then update with the finished product later!!

this book is absolutely embedded in my soul, and words cannot even describe how gorgeously it’s written. it’s a book that made me realize - hey, the adventure doesn’t end as you grow old.

you can read it here. i promise you won’t regret it!!!

anyways!!! here’s all of my other bookbinding steps for anyone interested.

cam’s somewhat incomplete bookbinding guide

please note that i am an AMATEUR hobbyist. please do not actually use this as a tutorial.

oh also!! bookbinding terminology will have a * by it which will be explained at the end in order to make this flow better. i’ll also link the tutorials i used at the end of this for anyone interested.

1) Formatting the document! I downloaded the original text as a PDF, and then designed a cover page, grabbed some art from the internet (i know, frowned upon, but this is just a personal copy so it is what it is), and then designed a table of contents and chapter icons!!

*side note! i added which episodes each chapter follows to the table of contents (pictured below) as this book was written as an accompaniment to TOS and the movies.

2) Next, I printed out all NINE HUNDRED PAGES??? admittedly i could have done it in less if I’d used a bigger page size, but sending things out to be printed is expensive so we made do. after printing, i folded them into signatures*.

*there’s an additional note about the paper i used at the end

3) punching out holes in all the signatures! although not technically necessary, I honestly don’t think i would’ve been able to sew this behemoth without doing it.

4) sewing the pages into a real!! actual!! book!! this was the part i was most nervous about. i’ve NEVER attempted to sew anywhere near this large of a book before, so i tried out a new method of sewing in hopes of making it a bit more sturdy. we won’t know if it worked until this book endures some wear and tear, but i’m pretty optimistic!

5) next up is glueing the spine! this is where it really hit me that a lot of bookbinding is just…glueing shit together. later i also added cardstock to the spine in hopes of helping it adhere to the cover better, and a book headband* for decoration.

5) now we’re onto the book cover!! they only sell bookboard in minor bulk around here, so we’re not even gonna discuss how much bookboard i now own… anyways! i glued the faux leather onto the bookboard and then let that dry.

6) last up! off to the cricket! a huge thank you to my friend for letting me borrow her cricket AND supplies! anywho, this is where i designed my cover art. i then adhered the design to the cover. after this step, i realized i…definitely need some kind of sealant - so, if any more seasoned bookbinders have suggestions for this i am all ears!!

all in all, this was a super fun project, and a great way to kill some time while i recover from surgery! i absolutely plan to bind the sequel at some point, but that may be a…ways away. i’m a STEM major and school starts back up soon so…time will be in short supply lol!

To be continued...

Terminology

*signature: group of sheets folded in half, to be worked into the binding as a unit.

*book headband: just look up a picture if you’re curious because tumblr says i can't add any more pictures lol.

*about the paper!! i actually got it from a local specialty paper store, but if you want something similar i've heard amazon has some good bookbinding alternatives!

Tutorials

please PLEASE go check out Jess Less on youtube. she's phenomenal. here are her vids and what i used them for.

youtube

don't laugh!! i actually stole MOST of my techniques straight from this video.

youtube

i used this one to help me format the book correctly! although i still ended up with some goofs haha (see: any pages on the left side have the page number in the margin LMAO).

#Youtube #k/s #k/s fanfic #tos spirk #spirk #star trek #i have no creative tags :((#star trek fanart #star trek tos #star trek art #book binding #custom book bind

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snitchcrimsonwrites · 5 months

Text

Maybe pt. 2

Pairing: Norm MacLean X Female Reader or OC

Former friends to a relationship?

Life is pretty easy in Vault 33 until you're trying to rekindle a former friendship and raiders attack. Now, our main characters are trying to navigate newfound feelings all while undercovering the mysteries of Vault 33. Stay tuned. Follows the main storyline of season 1; some events may be reordered for plot.

Some of the conversation feels a little clunky, but we want these two to make up and move on, right?

Part 1 Here Part 7 Here Part 12 Here

Part 3 Here Part 8 Here

Part 4 Here Part 9 Here

Part 5 Here Part 10 Here

Part 6 Here Part 11 Here

Norm hates this feeling. Laying in bed, he can feel his stomach twisted in knots. This gut-wrenching feeling has kept him up most of the night, realizing he’s got to make a decision. As far as he’s deduced from his sleepless night of pondering, he’s got two primary options.

Option A. He pretends yesterday’s conversation with (Y/N) never happened, and they continue exchanging small talk, pleasantries, and those awkward neighbor half-waves until the end of time. The scaredy cat in him prefers this option. It avoids confrontation and maintains the status quo they’ve held for the last couple of years. It is simple and lacks any unnecessary entanglements. Things just go on according to plan. He’s done it before, it can easily be done again.

OR he can proceed with Option B to confront (Y/N) about what she said in the cafeteria yesterday. This option has sparked his curious side. Cause that entire interaction was odd, wasn’t it? Norm had so many questions, but are they worth pursuing? Opening that can of worms could lead to more problems, more decisions, and fewer answers. No. He needed to know. Curiosity might just kill the cat, but at least he’d be able to sleep at night.

(Y/N) worked in one of the maintenance labs as Vault 33’s official Pip-Boy Programmer—one of the perks of doing well on the Vault G.O.A.T exams. Norm was eager, planning to stop by the lab first thing before he headed to his desk. Unless someone had major issues with their Pip-Boy, they’d probably have the lab to themselves that early. Alright, it was decided. He threw off the certified Vault-Tec comforter, climbed out of bed, and headed toward the shower to get ready.

—--------------------

You were already at your desk, pretending to be occupied, when Norm MacLean appeared in the doorway of the lab, leaning on the doorframe and fiddling with his Pip-Boy. Truth be told, you were half-expecting him, especially after yesterday. But maybe not this soon. You were hoping he’d stew on this decision for at least a day.

“Good Morning, Norm. Pip-Boy on the fritz?” you ask, knowing full well that the reason he was here had nothing to do with his Pip-Boy. Even if his Pip-Boy was malfunctioning, Norm was more than capable of taking care of that repair without your assistance.

“Yeah, I think I’m having some software issues. Do you think you could do a diagnostic run for me?”

You smile, “Of course. If you wouldn’t mind taking it off and filling out the repair form, I can start right away.”

He complies, handing you his Pip-Boy and taking the clipboard with the attached Vault-Tec paperwork. As he starts on the paperwork, he estimates he’s got roughly twenty minutes of fake errand cover to work with.

You attach the Pip-Boy to the diagnostic cable running from your computer, load up the program, and wait. “It will just be a few minutes to get a full picture of what’s going on,” you reassure him.

“That’s fine. My supervisor knows I was having a few issues with it this morning,” Norm says, barely looking up from the clipboard.

The two of you fall into awkward silence, neither wanting to be the first to break it.

You relent. “Hey, I’m sorry if yesterday made you uncomfortable. I know we haven’t spoken much at all lately, but I heard about what happened from Reg, and I just couldn’t stop myself from coming over. It wasn’t right of me to use your situation as my catharsis, especially since we had that failing out. I should have respected that. We can continue on as we were, friendly neighbors in the same Vault.” The words stuck in your throat on the way out. That’s not what you wanted, but if that’s what Norm came here to say, better get it out of the way sooner.

Oof, now he felt terrible. Norm should have known you’d apologize for thinking you made him uncomfortable. That’s your nature. You’ve always been empathic to the needs of your friends. He needs to come clean.

“I never wanted that.”

I’m sorry. What did he say? He never wanted that. To stop being friends? Your brain was going a mile a minute, swirling with questions, too many to vocalize at once. Thankfully, Norm elaborated before you even tried.

“I never wanted to stop being friends, but the closer we got to graduation, the more effort you seemed to put into exams and passing, being the best in the class. You had ambitions and goals, and (Y/N) you could achieve them. You didn’t need to be dragged down by the Black Sheep of Vault 33.” He tries not to think about his label, and usually, it doesn’t bother him. But right now, it weighs on him; it feels laminated across his forehead, defining him.

“Norman,” you manage to sigh out. “I’ve always admired that about you. That’s what I meant yesterday. I wish I had the confidence to act that way before now; I’m sure I’d be much happier. After my dad passed away, I wasn’t sure how I was going to navigate,” you gesture to the air around you, "everything. I was on my own, and subconsciously, I picked up on the reality that the better I did in that classroom or for the Vault, the more control I thought I could have over my life.”

She didn’t need to explain. He knew exactly what she meant. It is kind of an unspoken rule of Vault 33. Obviously, those who did well on their exams got matched into the most coveted jobs within the vault, but those placements also impacted other situations. Those higher-achieving students had more say in when and to whom they were married, more access to leadership positions, and the list goes on.

“I had no idea how my life would go, but at least I knew I wanted a hand on the steering wheel. I mean, I’m not sure if I actually want to be married or if that’s part of the programming to be in a relationship, but whatever happens, I want it to at least feel as though I made the decision." You pause and add, "Seriously, could you imagine if I got stuck having to marry Chad Johnston?”

Norm snorted. The juxtaposition of his former classmates as a married couple was hilarious. Those two couldn’t be more opposites. “Well, at least he’d have someone to teach him to read,” he managed between laughs.

This garnered a snicker from you as well. “Haha, you’re hilarious,” you say in the most sarcastic tone you can muster. “So, what do you think? Can we act like adults and finally move on? Or do we double down on whatever self-destructive tendencies we’ve got going on here?”

“Hmmm, I don’t know about you, but I’m really leaning into that second one.” He pauses and puts his hand to his chin. “On the other hand, it might be nice to have lunch with someone I’m not related to.”

DING. “Vault-Tec Pip-Boy diagnostic program is now complete, no issues were detected.”

You both smile. “Well, it looks like the software issues seemed to have resolved themselves.”

“Isn’t technology incredible?” Norm asks as he stands to leave.

#norm maclean #norm maclean x reader #norm maclean x oc #fallout #fallout tv series

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astropookie · 1 year

Text

astro thoughts 🏇🌈✨💫🍳

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH ❤️ even though it’s almost July

disclaimer: I didn’t check my orthography

i hate it but what’s trying to tell me the universe. my friend reminds me of my mom 😭 kill me pls. she have sun 11H, she worries a lot about how others understand what she saids, what others may think of her. she wants to be peaceful but at the same time she have moon in scorpio so she’s struggling and she have a certain opinion about others based on the first impression or what made more impact -negative? idk. now I feel judge -I think it’s my anxiety-. Update: i said what was bothering me to her and everything is said, I’m proud of me, I’m in peace, she responded in a understanding manner. I can breath.

the degree of your ascendant says ALOT, not only about the physical appearance. it could point out even your career, how’s focused your life, how you react…now that I think about it, it’s like an ascendant in your ascendant pc (but if it confused you ignore it).

for example, my friend have gemini degree in his ascendant, he’s doing his major in communication, his family is full of artists and specially musicians, so he grew up knowing how to play every music instrument, it’s like breathing to him, music. he’s used to it and he express himself by composing and being curious, wanting to know about this and that. other example: my other friend has a gemini rising but I was thinking “there’s something that’s missing” 👀 the leo degree of course. he be slayyiing💅 he’s sassy. he knows what he wants and people always be wanting him not the other way around 🙄 he’s like purr stunning gurl 💋

the same friend told me the other day that his first impression of me was or exactly what he thought: “you don’t want to mess with her” “I wouldn’t mess with her ever”. he told me I remembered him of maddy of euphoria -I gave him the idea bc I didn’t understand and he agreed-. Ascendant - Saturn aspects make you look like a bad bitch, like they’ll kick your ass if you don’t do what they tell you, THEY ARE. The structure of their face is also bony. They look like they’re mad, like they’re on their way and if you step there you’re dead: karmic. The jawline, omg, is sharp, it could cut you.

Picture 1 Picture 2 Picture3

Also, bc Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, Capricorn ascendants and saturn-ascendant aspects share characteristics but are not the same? Capricorn risings have this cheekbones that are so sensual and even if they age, the cheekbones are still there, what you notice first is that. What they share is the intimidating aura strangers perceive. In different levels or forms I believe.

Dakota Johnson Gisele Bündchen

TWO QUEENS THAT I CANT FINISH TO DESCRIBE HOW THEIRE SO ETHEREAL BEAUTIFUL STUNNING ICONIC AND INFINITE THINGS MORE

I have Mars in Retrograde. I don’t know what bothers me until I explode or until I go to my psychologist. I minimize what bothers me and save it all in the back, so then my brain will hurt. I don’t figure out or notice when something bothers me bc I don’t think is a big deal or that’s a joke, but even if it’s a joke I can still not like it -a side note-. You’ll find me realizing later what was bothering me and then struggling to tell people how I really felt when they did THAT something.

Picture from Pinterest

when the kid’s mercury is sextile Saturn’s dad (synastry: mercury sextile saturn), it means the dad communicates with their child as a way of teaching, caring about them. through their communication, they share childhood stories, experiences of any type and what they have learned about them, what they have observed. trough their talking they share their wisdom. the father have all the attention of their kid when he opens his mouth. the kid somehow knows something important is about to be said or they admires their dad that much.

Picture from Pinterest

Leo moons 5H + aries degree can be pretty egoist, they could lost themselves in the idea of something, of having it. Also they don’t think, twice letting themselves be carried by the emotion that idea gives them. They’re in their pretty little world of fun but they are not looking what’s happening to others, they’re hungry for their passion. I HAVE TO TELL: not everyone with these placements are like this and blablabla -the same thing I say for precaution- AND I had something, it’s not even something 🙄 I had nothing with these placement k? but it gives you an explanation for my attitude. STILL, I think I gotta mention some of the synastry so it’ll make sense. In another time bc I don’t want to waste my energy in that -and don’t want to-.

Saturn in opposition with Uranus aspect makes the individual stay in the doubt. They’re stanched while they keep analyzing the pro and cons of the situation they want to start/be part. Even if someone extern try to help, they’ll be doubting more.

Virgo moons are just so wholesome ☹️❤️ They want to help. they’re always doing something. they want the best for you. they care of others as if they take care of themselves but better, sadly. they work too much they need a rest but they know they’ll be anxious of doing nothing. they’re just pure souls. they’re so kind. always helping in a ONG/organization that helps needed ones.

Aquarius mercury always have something to say, they’re always right 🙄 even though they say it’s comprensible and natural that everyone have their own beliefs I don’t believe them. I think they think their mindset is better and everyone should follow it. LIKE GURL WTF I know you think you are wise and shit and you’ve passed through experiences that made you learned and that inspired you to tell them to others BUT let others make mistakes and be wrong, let others don’t be like you, there’s the beauty. I always find them criticizing others for their manners, as if they have lived the same way you did.

I don’t believe/trust? in libras, yeah ok may be that my sun is in libra but not my whole chart. That’s what I’m talking about, with that last sentence I’m gaslighting you 💌 how tf you believe in libras when they don’t tell the truth directly I CANT. With my honesty I gotta mention that my libra sun appear when I don’t want to ruin something that benefits me, when I don’t know the person and I try my best, to my sag/scorpio/aquarius placements to not appear. They always keep something in their minds, they don’t tell you all, they keep to themselves some part, could be to not hurt you, doesn’t benefits them or whatever. a friend with moon in libra degree and another with libra moon: I always want them to say what they want, they can’t. I want to squish the hell out of them bc I can’t too😭🔪

Ceres 3H is a good placement for a psychologist. How they motivate others using their minds, that easily absorbs and process/analyses experiences and knowledge, to finally find a solution depending on the case -of the patient-, so it’ll be suitable. When they help others, their communication keeps improving with time. More experience = better. Still, it’s natural.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

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rimunagenius · 6 months

Text

I’m Not Talking ‘Bout Boys I’m Talking ‘Bout Them.

ఌ pairing: Naomi Mcpherson x AFAB!reader

ఌ Warnings: RPF!! homophobia!! , slight smut, slight angst?, fluff, fluff, and some more fluff, realization about the preferred sexual preference (if that’s even a warning)

ఌ Word Count: 3.5k words (major whoopsie…no it’s not)

ఌ okay so as you may not already know, this fic is based off the song ‘girls’ from girl in red. it’s basically the prompt of the story. another thing, this fic is loosely based off me, being a bisexual woman, and not experiencing homophobia personally, but seeing how others around me speak and feel about people in the LGBTQ community, i haven’t come out to my parents. so writing this, i hope this helps in anyway, whether it’s a tiny small or big significant way, to help whoever reads this know it’s okay to be queer. to love women. to love whoever the fuck you want to love. be yourself unapologetically and once you stop caring what the people around you feel, and stop thinking about how you may offend them for your choices and feelings, you’ll truly live a blissful life. okay that’s it, enjoy!

ఌ

❧ I've been hiding for so long

These feelings, they're not gone

Could I tell anyone?

You have always been an ally to the LGBTQ community. You had many friends who grew up to be gay or lesbian, nonbinary, all of the above. You even have family members part of the community. You didn't realize until you had hit high school that you were into a spectrum of people. Freshman year, you were curious and never even experimented with anyone other than boys. But by your junior year, you had realized you loved anyone…you were queer.

The thoughts of wanting to understand someone so deeply and have a beautiful connection that would manifest in a caring and long relationship, was all you seeked. It was never a phase that every teenager convinces themselves they're going through—it was real.

But you knew your parents. They'd say they were supportive because you had family that were queer. But now and then, the unsupportive side of them would slip and it made you scared for the reaction you'd get if you had said you not only liked men but everyone.

❧ Afraid of what they'll say

So I push them away

I'm acting so strange

You so desperately wanted to tell your parents about the feelings you had and the thoughts you wanted to share. You just could never get past the what if.

Any conversation about your love life you had dismissed. You couldn't possibly say that you liked a girl or someone who was different than themselves in their eyes. You knew it was getting obvious with the way you'd shut down the topic. You knew that your siblings would catch on.

The jokes they’d make about you being queer because you haven't mentioned the idea of being with a guy recently were starting to irritate you a little more every day. You just had to suck it up and "forget" to tell them about the most beautiful person you had ever met.

❧ They're so pretty, it hurts

I'm not talking 'bout boys

I'm talking 'bout girls

You don't know when it happened but you just knew you had to speak to this person. Their beautiful curly hair, the perfect height, the perfect style, the perfect facial features that were accentuated with the prettiest gold jewelry in their nose. They caught your eye the second you had walked into the club.

You had been with friends and you just couldn't stop looking. Your friends picked up on the longing glances you'd throw their way any chance the conversation got dull someplace.

"Just talk to them!" Your friend yelled over the loud music. "What's the worst that could happen?" They sipped through the straw of their drink while moving their eyes from you to the person you couldn't stop looking at.

"No. Absolutely not. They're way out of my league, dude." Oh, absolutely not. Your friend was not about to take no for an answer. They knew about your family situation. Even though you were a grown woman, your parent's opinions still mattered to you. What they thought of you was important.

"Babe, you are so beautiful and hot. Please be real here. They're coming over here anyways, now's your chance." They smiled, sipping their drink again watching the person walk up to the bar.

"Are you fucking serious?" You took a small step back and bumped into someone. Turning around immediately, you saw them. The perfect person you had been staring at all night long. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I did not know you were right there,"

"No it's okay, don't worry about it." They smiled at you. The height difference was stirring a nervous feeling in your belly. Like someone had released a butterfly sanctuary in your belly.

"Let me pay for your drink, it's the least I can do for someone as gorgeous as you." It slipped out. You hadn't even realized you said it until you said it and saw their face looking back at you. The embarrassment was unbearable. A small smile graced their features and they were thankful you couldn't see the small blush creeping on their cheeks.

"Oh, you don't have to but thank you. What's your name, pretty?" They leaned down so they could hear you better over the music. Your knees were weak.

"Y/n. And yours?" You looked at them, batting your eyelashes. It was hard not to try and make them interested. You thought they were so pretty, you had to have them.

"Naomi. Nice to meet you." You both smiled and insisted on paying for their drink. You paid for it and smiled. The smile faltered as you realized this may or may not be the very last time you see them ever.

"Hey—" You both spoke at the same time. You giggled and looked up at them, signaling for them to finish. "Can I get your number? Sorry if that's forward but your beautiful and want to know if you'd like to get coffee sometime?" They asked, leaning back up to gauge your expression.

"Oh yeah! I'd love to." You gave them your number and for the rest of the night, you both went about your own business with your separate parties. Catching each other's eye from across the room every now and then.

They were the most beautiful person you had ever seen in your whole entire life. It hurt your brain to even fathom how they could exist.

❧ They're so pretty with their button-up shirts

I shouldn't be feeling this

But it's too hard to resist

You and Naomi had hung out a lot of times after the club incident. You were so glad you had decided to get out of your house that night. You didn’t think you could sit through anymore phone calls of your mom telling you how nice her coworker's son was for the last 5 months. You did have to, every now and then.

They had told you they were in a band. A relatively famous one. You hadn't known any of that and were about to explode when they told you they opened for Taylor Swift on her Eras Tour. What made you so oblivious to this information? You had been there. You even asked about the dates and you didn't even realize you had watched Naomi perform.

They also told you that they had a show this coming weekend and needed help picking an outfit or two for the music festival. They invited you over to their house, which was a pretty close range from your condo that you lived in. You had been over more than a handful of times. You guys have been seeing each other for almost 5 months, making it official in the third month.

"I say, you give me a fashion show and we can decide from there." You smiled at them. You honestly believe that you have never been this happy. Yeah, a few hetero relationships you had in the past you were happy. But you weren't truly happy. Not like this. You haven't told your parents about them but you truly wanted to. You wanted to tell them that Naomi had awakened a newfound liveliness to you. That they had made everything so much easier. You thanked your lucky stars for bumping into them five months ago.

"I say, that's a great idea, gorgeous." They walked up to you sitting on the foot of the bed, planting a kiss on your forehead, and then walking to the closet to grab an outfit to try on.

They changed in the bathroom and walked out in long basketball shorts, a white wife beater, a jean jacket, and a backward black LA hat. Heat rose to your face, and all over your body. Especially there. You blushed intensely and smiled. "So this outfit is a yes, then?" Naomi laughed as they noticed the immediate reaction your body had.

"Oh, hell yeah. I honestly think you should never take it off. Unless I'm taking it off you." You smiled and laughed. Their face flushed as they turned away for a second and looked back at you. You gave them a small wink as they walked up to you, crouched down, and grabbed your face pulling you into a kiss.

Both of you smiled into the kiss, which started to grow more hot and heavy. A small sigh left your nose and you pulled away. "As much as I love doing that, you have a fashion show to finish, baby." A small frown pierced their lips as they grabbed a few new articles of clothing from their closet and walked into the bathroom.

Walking out in a white button-up shirt, a tie hanging loosely around their neck under the collar, and black vintage Versace jeans. You absolutely loved this outfit. You loved the other one but something about this outfit made them look so professional, endearing, and just overall adorable. You had always loved when they would pick you up for dates and they were wearing an outfit similar to this with a button-up shirt.

"Oh my god, I love this nomi. You look so good." You smiled as you pulled out your phone and took a video. Naomi does a small spin before flipping the camera off. They laughed and immediately apologized. You both now laughing together.

❧ Soft skin and soft lips

The soft light from the sunset started creeping in through the bedroom window, adding an even more romantic ambiance to the room. Your soft pants fill the room.

"Oh..my...god." You sighed heavily, your hands gripping the sheets tightly. Your chest rose and fell with the swift motion and pace Naomi had set with their fingers curling inside of you. You could not lie and say this wasn't better than any sex you had ever prior to now.

"You're doing so good for me, sweet girl." A whiny moan left your throat as their soft praises and new pet name coaxed you closer and closer to the finish line. Your eyes looked into theirs. Your walls tighten around their slender fingers. How could someone be so good with just their fingers?

"Uh...don't stop. So close, baby." Your voice rose and thighs closed. "Just like that. I'm so close." You could not fathom the feeling they were making you feel. In almost a mere second, their fingers curled in just the right spot causing a soft scream to escape your lips.

"Oh, baby." Naomi looked down at you, head dropping to kiss up your neck. Their soft lips traveled across your jawline, lips brushing the lobe of your ear. "Let go for me." They whispered, another soft whine left your lips as you did what they asked of you. "Yeah, just like that, baby."

Naomi maneuvered their body back in front of your aching cunt. Sliding their fingers out, catching whatever slipped out with their tongue. You let out a soft cry, overly sensitive to touch as you were still coming down from what felt like the best high in your life. Naomi then put the fingers they had buried inside of you in their mouth, sucking and licking off any remnants of your orgasm off their fingers.

You wouldn't lie...you could've come all over again just by watching them watch you while they did that. They then placed a soft kiss on your clit, a soft satisfied hum leaving their lips. Their lips trailed up your body until they found solace on yours again. The passionate kiss left you breathless and tasting yourself on their tongue.

Naomi’s arms planted on either side of your waist, you ran your hands slowly up their arms. From their soft and slender wrists, all the way to the open expanse of their shirtless back. Naomi sighs at the cool sensation of your rings dragging across their body.

You then pulled them in for another kiss, your arms slung over the back of their neck. Your fingertips graze the beautiful crazy curls on their head.

You could stay here forever.

❧ I should be into this guy

But it's just a waste of time

He's really not my type

I know what I like

"No, mom." I am not going on a date with Nick. He's not my type at the moment." You looked at Naomi, an incredulous look on your face, a quiet tut of laughter leaving their lips as their hand glided up your thigh.

"Why not? What is your type then?" Your mom asked over the phone. You didn't know if you had wanted to flat-out say that you had been seeing someone. The someone being a famous queer public figure. Your mom on speaker, Naomi being able to hear the whole conversation.

They nodded their head at you, a look of encouragement in their eyes. This whole ‘your mom trying to set you up’ thing was getting old. You just wanted to tell her that you were so in love with your partner.

"Mommy, I'm already seeing someone. And they make me very happy, any more than a man could." Naomi squeezed your thigh, their head resting in their hand that was leaning on the back of the couch. You smiled at them, mouthing 'I love you.' They did it back. Big smile across their face.

"What do you mean "any more than a man could"? Are you dating a woman? Are you seriously dating a woman? Y/n, don't make me tell your dad about this. What do you think he'll say?" She sighed loudly over the speaker. You started to get super nervous.

You rubbed your other hand that wasn't holding the phone, across your chest. A heavy feeling weighing down on you suddenly. "No, mommy. They're not a woman either. They're nonbinary, which means they don't choose to identify as a boy or girl. I love them. They make me happy."

"I don't want to hear details about this gay relationship."

"I never said anything about that."

"Well, I don't want to hear about it. I have to go. And I'm going to tell your father about this." You didn't even feel nervous anymore. The hard part was over and you honestly felt irritated that your mom couldn't just be happy that you were happy. Why did it matter who was making you happy?

"Okay, whatever." You hung up the phone and flopped your head against Naomi's chest. "I'm sorry she said what she said, baby. I didn't think she'd take it that bad. For once I thought she’d just listen and still accept what’s happening." You looked up at them. They leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips.

"It's okay. We'll be okay. At least she knows now. The hard part is over, love."

"Yes. It's finally over." You both lay there on your couch, cuddling for the rest of the morning. You could only think about how their opinions slowly started to not matter what they thought of Naomi. It only mattered what you thought and you thought the absolute world of them. You had truly never met anyone like them.

❧ No, this is not a phase

Or a coming of age

This will never change

You and your parents had been fighting over the phone and dinner for the last week. They couldn't get used to the pronouns Naomi had gone by and not identifying with a gender, how they lived their life, and how we both chose to live it together.

You had slowly started to get over your parent’s projecting and ignorance and felt at peace with your life. With your Naomi. They had known how stressful this had been for you, so a nice romantic weekend was planned for the both of you. Granted the weekend had consisted of you two at Josettes parent's vacation cabin by the lake. It was honestly so beautiful.

The second night you were there, you celebrated your one-year anniversary with a nice candlelit dinner and walk outside by the dock. When you reached the end of the dock looking out across the lake, the moon casting the perfect light over the royal blue waters. "Naomi look how beautiful." You looked across at the landscape in front of you, your smile faltering when Naomi said they couldn't see it. "What do you me- Oh my god."

Naomi was on one knee, a beautiful diamond ring in their hand. "Holy shit. No way. Naomi." You couldn't help the tears falling and the laughing trying to hide the fact that you were literally sobbing.

"Y/n. You are so perfect. From your hair to your contagious laugh. Everything about you is engraved in my brain. I think about you when I'm thousands of miles away and when I'm right under you while you sleep against me." You could not stop the loud sob that escaped your throat. You immediately got on your knees and cupped their face. "I can't even remember what my life was like before you were in it and I don't want to know how it is after. I never want to have an after-you. This," they motioned their index finger between the two of you. Their eyes welling up with tears too. "Is forever. You and me. Will you marry me?" You kissed their lips, the kiss so tender yet so full of every emotion you could possibly feel in a moment like this.

"Yes. Yes. It will always be a yes, baby." You continued to cry as they slid the ring on your finger. You could not have imagined that this would be your life a year ago. You never wanted to forget this. Forget them.

Your parents would never understand you both. No matter how much they tried to will this relationship away. You both had already left an imprint in each other's lives. This was forever or nothing. Happiness or nothing. Your love for each other was never going away.

❧ They're so pretty, it hurts

I'm not talking 'bout boys

I'm talking 'bout girls

You had spent the next day at the cabin wrapped in the sheets and each other's embrace. The bliss that came with Naomi was something so sacred and real. You knew that when you looked at them.

You had woken up before them. The sun shining through the window behind you. Sitting up, wrapping and holding the sheets over your naked frame, you reached over and took a picture of their peaceful state of sleep.

The way the sun shines on their features, accentuating the gorgeous freckles across their face, you posted it on your Instagram story. The first time your family will see that this was never a phase. It was real and it was happening.

Captioning the picture, "I can't wait to marry you." You had tagged Naomi before turning your phone off and laying back down next to them. Snuggling in closer, they wrapped their arm around your frame and pulled you closer before placing a soft kiss on your head. You both had gone back to sleep. Just you two against the world.

❧ They're so pretty with their button-up shirts

They're so pretty, it hurts

I'm not talking 'bout boys

I'm talking 'bout girls

You knew you couldn't count on them to be here. The one special day that you'd ever have in your life and your family couldn't set their pride aside and be there. It didn't bother you much because you had friends and they showed up for you. That's what counted. That's the only thing that matters aside from marrying the love of your life. But it still hurt.

Josette had suggested she walk you down the aisle and you loved the idea. As you both walked down the aisle, you looked at her and then at Naomi. You three had all been crying as the seconds ticked that the marriage was official.

Naomi in their tux, you in your long white wedding dress. This was perfect. They were perfect. A button-up shirt never looked as good on them as it did right now.

❧ They're so pretty with their button-up shirts

'Cause I don't know what to do

It's not like I get to choose

Who I love

Your honeymoon consisted of laying in bed, sex, beach, sex, laying in bed, more sex, and sleeping. Falling for them was singlehandedly the best thing you had ever done. You could not believe this is who you got to do life with for the rest of it.

You didn't choose to be queer. But you sure as hell glad that it got you here in this moment.

❧ They're so pretty, it hurts

I'm not talking 'bout boys

I'm talking 'bout girls

They're so pretty with their button-up shirts

And they're so pretty, it hurts

I'm not talking 'bout boys

I'm talking 'bout girls

They're so pretty, it hurts

Being out, not giving a single damn about who had to say what about your marriage, was a blissful life. You get to watch your soulmate do what they love, be who they are, and choose you to be a part of it. Going through the suppression and ignorance to get here...was so rewarding.

Naomi. They were so pretty it hurt to even express the amount of attraction and admiration you had for them. You got to have them. All of them.

Forever.

ఌ loving someone for who they are is all that matters. Whether your bisexual, lesbian, pan, etc. You don’t owe anyone a damn thing. Even if your not out yet, that’s okay. You won’t be in the closet forever, you will be yourself openly and unapologetically, whether it’s tomorrow or in the next year (and i’ll be on that journey with you); Loving a woman, loving your partner, is not a crime. It’s not wrong. No matter what anyone says. They can’t take your love, your identity, yourself, away from you. Never forget it.

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bakuhatsufallinlove · 5 months

Note

Hello, I hope I can ask you this. I was exploring the Jp side of YouTube and watching review and discussion videos on MHA. I found a couple of popular videos on the potential future relationships of all the characters, and as expected, they were all the default m/f pairs. But the comments took me by surprise. Most of them were about “greentea,” obviously, but I could also see comments on very odd pairs like Eri and Deku, Mahoro and Bakugo, and even Eri and Mirio quite frequently! (Even typing it out is making me cringe)😭😭😭 However, I also saw a couple of comments on Bakugo and Deku, but very few, probably 1 out of 100. I’m really curious about how bkdk is perceived by the general Japanese audience, is it even taken seriously? Maybe I just couldn’t find any review videos that even considered them as a pair, but the ones I saw were kinda popular too; they had plenty of views. So yeah, I’d love to know your thoughts on this, again I hope this is ok to ask🥹

Also I just discovered you and I love all your content!😭 I’ve exhausted them haha, thank you so much for your work! Lots of love! 🩷🩷🩷

First off, I want to mention that I have a hitherto unspoken rule to not comment on ships other than bkdk. I know you are asking about bkdk specifically, but the framework of the question brings other things into the discussion, so I want to say this clearly to discourage follow-up questions from others which may be angled toward different ships or ship discourse in general. Bkdk is what I’m here for, so bkdk is what I’m going to talk about.

In regards to your actual question, I’m gonna answer by giving you some information about how fandom works in Japan.

Bkdk is the most popular mha ship in Japan in terms of fanworks, by a wide margin.

Japanese fandom is, compared to English-speaking fandom, heavily centered on fanart. Japan has frequent doujinshi (independently published comic) events where dozens or even hundreds of artists come to distribute their work, and many of these have been going on for decades. It is not hyperbole to say that some kind of doujinshi event, showcasing brand new work, is going on in at least one major city in Japan every single month, and these events are attended by hundreds and sometimes thousands of people. Sometimes there are two or more events in a single month.

To be clear, doujinshi are not only fanworks, which is why I specified “independently published comic.” Lots of doujin are original works, and many now well-known mangaka got their start, gained connections, and built their early fanbase through participating in doujin circles (collaborative groups of artists who create work under the same independent label). My point is that visual art and comics are so huge in Japan it is hard to overstate their prominence in the culture as a whole, let alone fandom culture.

So, fanart and doujin are huge, and among fans who make fanart/doujin, bkdk is wildly popular.

The thing you have to ask yourself is, does fanwork represent general readership? Drawing fanart is the most common way to show your love for a series in Japan, but that definitely doesn’t mean every reader is drawing fanart. In my opinion, fanfic is prominent in USA-centered fandom, but obviously only a fraction of the people who enjoy a series are going to write fanfic for it.

I don’t think we can really quantify the opinions of general readership this way. I mean, when you scroll through the comment section of the same kind of clickbaity, hot-topic videos about anime/manga that English-speaking audiences watch, do you feel like those comments accurately reflects what most people think? I know I don’t. There is always going to be a selection bias, because “people who comment on youtube videos” also only represent a fraction of “people who read mha.”

Japanese fandom is significantly more segmented and considerate of differing tastes than English-speaking fandom.

Japanese fandom is pretty strict with its rules of engagement. Personal privacy and respect for others are very important factors. Artists don’t want to be recognized at their day-job for their R18 doujin. Shippers don’t want their comments or cutesy fanart to be algorithmically-fed to users who have no interest in it. This is seen as polite and correct; it is respectful of the fact that people have different tastes, and not everyone will share yours.

See, Japanese fandom recognizes that the internet constitutes public view.

So fan language is coded: words are spelled slightly differently; characters, events, or ships get unique euphemistic nicknames; words or names are replaced with emojis. All of this is to prevent their stuff from being seen by someone just casually searching “Bakugou.”

You have to be in the know to know how to find stuff. You have to actively search for like-minded fans and curate your space, expanding your circle typically through word of mouth. And you have to abide by the rules, or else everyone is going to think you’re an overbearing jerk and not wanna be around you.

If you are just using google translate on social media posts or videos visibly labeled under the series title, you aren’t going to find much in regards to active shipping. Frankly, you aren’t going to see the whole scope of Japanese bkdk fan activity in any one place using any one method. This is how Japanese fandom is designed, and people work pretty hard to keep it that way.

Japanese fandom does not generally engage from the perspective that their desires will be validated by canon.

This is one of the biggest differences. In English-speaking fandom, you see people argue left and right about what’s going to be canon, who’s the endgame ship, and so on. People are very preoccupied by the idea that their ship has to be “validated,” and this validation comes from the notion that canon will reflect their personal preferences and fulfill their hopes for how the story will go.

This is just not the atmosphere in the vast majority of Japanese fan spaces. Remember how I said that jpn fandom recognizes that people have different tastes? This means people also tend to think that it is rather arrogant and demanding to think that your wishes are the only ones that should come true. It is also disrespectful of the mangaka’s artistic vision and hard-work to expect them to disregard their own desires to satisfy you personally.

So, when you ask, “are bkdk even taken seriously?” the question is built upon the idea that people who enjoy the series expect an outcome catered to their tastes.

As you said, most of the comments were for heterosexual pairings, which are the most obvious to predict considering the endings of other popular series published in Weekly Shonen Jump. Furthermore, Yashahime—sequel anime to shounen manga Inuyasha—confirmed that a character roughly ten years of age later grew up and had children with a (slowly-aging but adult) supernatural being who served as her caretaker and protector.

Maybe the video commenters were reflecting personal interest in those ships, or maybe they were just spit-balling off stuff they'd seen before. I can tell you I haven't really seen fanart for any of that, but I don't go looking for it, and m/f ship spaces will be separate from m/m ship spaces.

Still, it is important to remember that audience expectation is not directly correlated to outcome. When the online Shonen Jump+ manga Blue Flag was first published, the vast majority of readers did not expect that one of the characters in the love triangle would be gay. Hell, they expected it so little that the reveal went viral!

Audience expectation may be interesting to think about, but it is not a prediction method.

To sum it up:

Bkdk is extremely popular, but jpn fandom is very private and structured differently than English-speaking fandom.

Any metric of measurement for reader opinion will have its flaws, and audience expectation is not a foolproof way to gauge real outcome.

Personally, I think we should all take a cue from jpn fandom and just have fun.

I hope that answers your question and gives you some context, anon. Thank you for the kind comments on my work, I really appreciate it. <3

#bakuhatsu asks #anon asks

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tetrakys · 4 months

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As a close friend of Chinomiko, how does your conversations go when it’s about mcl new gen, I’m pretty curious 🤭🤭 Because she probably can’t you stuff, so when you talk about your theories about each episode, she just sits and listens? heheh I wouldn’t be able to be her friend, I would probably beg her to spoil me!!

Ahah funny you say that because it's kinda the opposite, she knows I don't want to be spoiled in any way when it comes to plot or illustrations so no I don't discuss theories with her at all, that's what the fandom is for. We have often worked side by side on our own things and I'm not even tempted to snoop, I want to enjoy the games.

Of course it would be disingenuous to say that we don't talk about the games at all. We chat a lot about the characters, their personalities, not only New Gen but all her characters and OCs (her elf thief Thael? You'll see, he's going to be my Lance 2.0 😭💕😭💕). We also read the same books and talk about romance in general, tropes, things that people like and don't like. I do bring a player perspective when we chat about possible themes, and of course not everyone has my tastes and I absolutely don't act as if I'm representing the whole fandom, but I've been playing for so long that I can give suggestions on things I know the majority of players would hate or like.

For example, people were super scared that one of the LIs could possibly cheat at some point in the game, and I know for sure this is never going to happen because we've talked about this kind of things a lot. She miiiight create drama and make the MC and players think this is happening, just because she likes to torture her characters (and us all), but it won't actually happen. So, I guess in a sense I do have a different perspective on things, just because I know her and her tastes and opinions.

About New Gen, I honestly know nothing about what's going to happen, other than the fact that we will have more personal interactions with Jason starting the next episode, and that the story in general is kinda light hearted, there isn't going to be any real drama or deep plot. We should see it more as a sitcom than a drama, if we compared it to a tv show. And that's pretty much it 🤔 I'm trying hard to think if there's anything else I know that you guys may not know by this point but I can't think of anything. I do know she's many episodes ahead, but this isn't a secret, it was said many times even when working on other games, that the Bees are always at least one year ahead of us, so everything we see was planned a while ago, they can't really incorporate current feedback.

Would you really ask to be spoiled anon? I know it's tempting but I want to be surprised while playing the game 😌 I need to slowly fall in love 💕

#also I don't ask but I do harass #cute harassment of course... about more hot Jason scenes 🤭🤭#mcl #my candy love #mcl new gen

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

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I have a question. I’m new to the discourse around fanfiction & censorship, so I was curious about what the general consensus regarding fic about underaged characters in live action media was. Underage is my biggest squick, but I feel pretty neutral about how people write/draw smut of cartoon characters, as they barely register as human for me. Characters played by actual child actors though… I guess I’m just wondering what’s going through the heads of people who write that stuff? Or minor rpf for that matter. What is appealing about it? I’m willing suspend my disbelief & accept that they don’t actually want to abuse kids, but like, what is fulfilling about that fantasy? I’m not in favor of censorship or arresting anyone over a fictional story, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.

That's quite a failure of imagination there, anon.

Other people are not you, and they don't necessarily have this squick. That's the main answer.

From people who don't try to problematize this, there isn't really any discourse. Fiction is fiction.

Cartoon characters register as people to plenty of viewers. (And moron antis think cartoon characters count just as much as live action ones when it comes to screaming about problematicness.) Actors playing teenagers are often in their 20s. Coming of age novels dealing with sexuality have been normal all over the world since forever.

But let's start with some low hanging fruit:

If you're 17 years + 364 days, you're below the age of consent lots of places. Do you, anon, honestly think it's weird to be into someone one day before their 18th birthday but not the day after? What if you live somewhere where the age of consent is 16? Is it still weird to be into 17-year-olds from places where the age of consent is 18?

Most people remember being teenagers. They may feel nostalgic. They may want to imagine the nice teenage experiences they never got to have.

Lots of fic writers are currently teenagers. Not as many as ageist online spaces think, but still quite a lot. Is it weirder for a 15-year-old to have a crush on a 15-year-old than a 40-year-old?

"They looked 18, Your Honor" is a weak-ass excuse for fucking underage people in real life, but that's not the same as finding characters on your tv hot. Not only are the actors usually above 18 because filming underage actors is a fucking nightmare logistically due to work constraints, but a lot of younger actors are often made up in ways that make them look like they could be way older. People also vary widely in how they look at various ages.

If you can accept that lust exists and is valid, you can accept that lots of people will see some teen and think they're hot. There isn't some specific categorical difference in how all teenagers look and how all 20-somethings look.

Doing something about it in real life and doing something about it in fiction are different.

Now, as for "child actors", that term is used for a wide variety of ages, but let's assume you mean Stranger Things wank, like most people moaning about underage actor RPF do, so we're talking about tweens who genuinely do look pretty young to grown-ass adults.

The first thing I have to ask you is why the fuck you would imagine that writers identify with some adult fucking these kids? It's far, far more likely that they identify with the characters themselves or the actors.

Why would they identify with them? It could be anything from working through their own trauma at a similar age to just liking the vibe of a character because of how the show is written.

Lots of people's brains barf out dark scenarios 24/7 without them ever having experienced any major trauma and without it meaning anything much. Some people channel that into fiction.

If you are a boring person who has both a vanilla brain and no imagination, this might seem surprising to you, but it shouldn't.

Moreover, your ask implies that underage fic is highly sexual or maybe coercive or something, but you haven't actually stated that. Are we talking about rapefic of 5-year-olds or about someone writing the Stranger Things characters holding hands?

Are you just not sexual at all, anon? Personally, I went from zero to MEGA HORNY at thirteen and a half. It was like a switch flipped. Sure, I wasn't getting any action because I was a zit-covered and socially incompetent 13-year-old, but I was definitely interested.

It's not strange that an artist or author of whatever sort would explore puberty in their art. It's not strange that they'd remember their own sexual awakening or that this awakening would be long before age 18.

It's also not strange if people write super dark shit about small children because it being extreme and taboo and horrible is often the point of art.

You're "willing to suspend disbelief"? How magnanimous! How generous!

Seriously, anon?!

The way you've phrased this question makes it sound like you have a brain the size of a walnut.

Would you ask such a stupid question in such an offensively loaded manner about all the coming of age novels that are considered Great Literature™? Would you ask why YA exists?

And if you wouldn't, why is it that amateur writing by women and sexual minorities makes you nervous when mainstream-approved things don't?

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cienie-isengardu · 2 months

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Bi-Han & Kenshi

I’m curious - if people think Bi-Han is the scum for breaking centuries old tradition of Lin Kuei’s servitude to Liu Kang and Earthrealm, do they also think Kenshi is a bastard for trying to break out his clan from Yakuza? Both men were raised in clans that supposedly pledged its loyalty to someone - Lin Kuei to Liu Kang/Earthrealm, clan Taira renamed as Takahashi to the Bakuto (Yakuza) and both at some point decided their people deserves better and waged war against their superiors to free their respective clans.

I’m pretty sure some of fans may be outraged how I could compare Liu Kang to Yakuza but the thing is, so far story mode and tie-in material didn’t show much suggesting Lin Kuei’s relationship with Fire Lord was based on genuine friendship or even mutual respect. There is nothing even remotely close to how Liu Kang addressed Sindel or interacted with Royal Family and his Champions. Bi-Han’s title of Grandmaster is never used by Liu Kang, Tomas is never acknowledged either alongside his brothers (chapter 1) nor as Kuai Liang’s second in command in regard to Shirai Ryu (last chapter). Kuai Liang is not part of the final meeting between Liu Kang and his champions even though he led a major attack on the enemy's forces when Fire Lord was busy with his own task. Literally all story mode the Lin Kuei brothers’ interaction with Liu Kang is about them doing his bidding and nothing more. Considering the implication that

A) Umgadi system was Liu Kang’s own innovation (as stated in Geras vs Tanya intro dialogue) and said system is based on taking away a little girls from their families and indoctrinating them into loyal warriors whose main goal is to uphold Royal Family’s regime over Outworld

B) Umgadi system and Lin Kuei has a lot pallares to each other, world-building wise

I can see why Bi-Han claims Earthrealm - and by extension Liu Kang, doesn’t deserve his loyalty.

Sindel: With one act, you betrayed two realms. Sub-Zero: Neither deserved my loyalty.

Ironically, from Kenshi and Johnny Cage's talk about history of Taira clan, we can conclude that Kenshi’s forefathers actually benefited from Yakuza, as it was Yakuza that provided them protection when every other noble house wanted them dead:

Johnny: "Four hundred years ago the Taira clan were one of Japan's first families. They lost Sento after getting slaughtered at the Siege of Aomori." Kenshi: "There were survivors. They hid themselves by shedding the name Taira for Takahashi. They joined the Bakuto for its protection." Johnny: The Yakuza's predecessors... From first family to crime family."

What is more, Kenshi’s backstory is not “Yakuza threaten my family and I must act to save them” but he was part of japanese criminal organization (implied by the tattoos on his body) that had a change of heart once he fell in love:

Scorpion: Who was it that set you on the righteous path? Kenshi: Her name was Suchin.

and who needed to reclaim family ancient sword, Sento, because without it, he did not have full support of his people:

Kenshi (story mode): "I will break us free of the Yakuza's corruption. Reclaim our name and our position. But my clan won't follow me unless I prove that I can lead. That's why I need Sento."

Ironically, at this moment, sources strongly imply Lin Kuei - with exception of Kuai Liang and Tomas - willingly support Bi-Han and the breaking up with Liu Kang/Earthrealm. And like Scorpion suggested in story mode, some members like Sektor and Cyrax would still choose Bi-Han over the him or tradition, even when knowing that Sub-Zero let his own father die. Kenshi, on other hand, needs first to win over his own clan, which may imply that a great number of his family is not willing to either leave the Yakuza or lost its protection.

And sure, we may argue about morality of characters and organizations to which they belonged (Liu Kang’s protectors of Earthrealm and Yakuza), but it won’t change the fact that narrative wise, the story arc of Bi-Han and Kenshi is structurally the same.

They served someone (Liu Kang/Earthrealm, leaders of Yakuza) to whom their respective clans pledged their loyalty centuries ago until something made them question their life and current political and economic state of their clans. In case of Kenshi, it was Suchin, in case of Bi-Han the reason is unknown yet the growing frustration didn’t come out of nowhere. Both took the first available offer that possibly could advance their cause after the just-meet strangers proved they have means to fulfill their promises (Liu Kang’s showcase of fire power, Shang Tsung presenting Dragon Army). And once they waged the war against their former bosses, none of them is willing to return to things as they were - whatever others approve or not. And as intro dialogues imply, their actions cost people’s lives.

Liu Kang: Your actions cost lives, Bi-Han! Sub-Zero: They were in the Lin Kuei's best interests.

and

Liu Kang: Your war on the underworld is taking innocent lives. Kenshi: Am I to blame for my enemy's wanton violence?

And apparently, both made alliances with people considered as criminal, cruel and/or dangerous to Earthrealm. Like Bi-Han’s alliance with Shang Tsung, General Shao and Nitara while Kenshi, according to intro dialogues, is involved with Black Dragons:

Geras: You have been warned about the Black Dragon. Kenshi: Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.

Kenshi: My war on the Yakuza has a new ally. Scorpion: You cannot trust the Black Dragon, Kenshi.

Through intro dialogues, BIO and story mode, we may even notice similar patterns in goals of Bi-Han and Kenshi. As in, them wishing to make their clan independent and finally out of the shadows:

KENSHI:

(story mode): "I will break us free of the Yakuza's corruption. Reclaim our name and our position.

and

(story mode): "Not dead. Hiding. With Sento in my hands, I'll lead us out of the shadows."

BIO: "Once one of ancient Japan's most honored families, the Takahashis were decimated in battle. They lost everything, including the emblem of their power: the revered sword, Sento. Those who survived joined the Bakuto, a predecessor of the Yakuza, for its protection. Five centuries later, Kenshi is raised on the stories of his ancient family's exploits. Detesting his corrupt Yakuza life, he pines to free the Takahashis from the Yakuza's grasp and restore their name. But for his family to follow him, Kenshi must first fight to prove that he can lead. His first battle is to find and retrieve Sento."

Bi-Han

Mortal Kombat 1: "As the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster, Sub-Zero leads his ancient warrior clan in defense of Earthrealm from external threats. For centuries, it has been their solemn task. But Earthrealm hasn't been threatened in generations, and Sub-Zero see no point in limiting his clan to preparing for dangers that may never come. Under his leadership, the Lin Kuei will come out of the shadows and fight for its place as one of Earthrealm's great nations."

and

Sub-Zero: I've gained the Lin Kuei's freedom. Smoke: You've only earned them infamy.

Among other intro dialogues

Sub-Zero’s MK1 Ending: "I had broken the Lin Kuei free of Liu Kang's enslavement. We were now masters of our destiny and could take our place among Earthrealm's greatest nations [...]."

Which is why I’m curious - if people judge Bi-Han as “evil” for breaking up with what he considered an enslavement or exploitation of his family and clan, do they see Kenshi in the same light? Or is Kenshi by virtue of siding with Liu Kang the good guy and Sub-Zero is scorned because of his broken relationship with brothers more than anything else?

(Though if to support Bi-Han you need to bash Kuai Liang then please, don’t. If there is one thing that sources proved us about the Lin Kuei brothers is that both are dutiful men who put duty above the bloodties - and sadly their sense of duties isn’t compatible anymore.)

#mortal kombat #sub zero #bi han #kenshi takahashi

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antonymziie · 2 months

Text

double-sided — bill cipher & reader

prologue :: d is for demon denial - 1765 words

(still debating on continuing this, if enough people want it i'll start writing the full fic on ao3)

You didn’t think summer break would lead you to where you currently were standing, most of your friends were sipping mixed drinks on white sand beaches or, at the very least, spending time with their family. After the semester you just had, you couldn’t bear to look your parents in the face for a while; but hell, D is for diploma.

Now, with the little money you had saved up from working, you decided to spend your summer road-tripping through the woods, which is how you ended up here: following a tour group through a smelly house full of bad taxidermy.

Your group was led by the tour guide; who introduced himself as “Soos”? and also happens to be the owner and “illegitimate son of the founder” so he says. In the dimly lit room, you observe many...curious things inside; which include random body parts of varying grotesqueness, a photo of a horse riding another horse, and plenty more poorly done taxidermies.

The group stopped in front of a wall that contained nothing but a large chest.

“Now- this may just look like some old chest or something,” Soos said, matter-a-factly, “but I’m pretty sure it’s cursed; like if you stick a sandwich in it, the sandwich will turn evil and try to eat you. “

Perplexed by his reasoning behind why he thinks this chest is cursed, you snapped a picture because it did look pretty cool and the group moved on. The next stop in the show-room was a corner, that was it, just a corner

“Take a close look at this corner...don’t see anything? That’s because this is the invisible dude, dudes! He isn’t wearing any clothes right now…kinda weird actually.”

The majority of the tour group murmured in amusement and snapped pictures of the empty corner, you almost couldn’t believe that people were believing this stuff. Soos continued, showing the group a few more things in the showroom before exiting to the outside where a golf cart was parked.

“Since we have a small enough group, I thought I’d take you dudes to see some of our outdoor attractions!” He outstretched an arm, inviting our group to hop aboard.

Your group of about four piled into the golf cart and rode off to the first stop, a gaping hole in the ground. You looked inside and it seemed to have no visible bottom.

“This is the bottomless pit, which is bottomless,” Soos looked down into the pit, “I actually fell in there once.”

You could see a small child inch closer to the edge of the pit, and a worried mother snatching them up before they got too close. Soos directed everyone back to the golf cart and drove out of the Shack’s lot onto a dirt path. The golf cart jerked and jumped as it hit tree roots and divots on the forest floor, and the trees became surprisingly denser only a little way into the journey.

Little glowing spots started to appear along the pathside and scattered among the trees, you couldn’t quite tell what was glowing but the blue-green radiance was soothing.

The cart eventually stopped in a clearing, you could now observe the hundreds of bioluminescent mushrooms clinging to the massive redwoods looming above you like a blanket from the outside world.

“Not many tour groups get to see this,” Soos said, “Sometimes nature is Gravity Falls’ most alluring attraction.” You were awestruck by the sheer magnificence of the forest, you knew this place was strange, but this was just...magical.

“But this is as far as we’ll go into the forest, dudes. Wouldn’t want to run up on,” He hesitated, the first time his friendly demeanor waned from his face, “Never mind! Let’s head back!”

What was farther in the forest? Curiosity got the best of you, and while the group was distracted trying to get the golf cart to start, you disappeared behind the tree line. You could find your way back after you looked around a little longer.

The pine needles and greenery crunched underfoot, and the farther you went, the denser the forest became. Sounds of undetermined origin make you briefly question your choices…

A few rustles in the trees were common forest sounds. If something sinister was actually lurking about, it would have eaten you by now, you thought to yourself as you continued through the trees. The dense wood eventually opened up and light filtered through the treetops, bathing the forest floor in golden sunlight. A few more paces and the trees had given way to a clearing, a calm, quaint, almost enchanting clearing in the forest.

That's when you saw it. At first, you thought it was a mossy boulder, but upon closer inspection, it seemed to have arms (and possibly legs that were buried in the dirt). What was something like this doing in the middle of nowhere? You moved away a piece of moss and were a bit frightened when an eye peaked from underneath.

The statue wasn't anything you had ever seen before. A triangular body with one eye, dressed up in a little tophat and bowtie, and one outstretched arm like it was ready to shake your hand. It was a peculiar sight, really, but it made you curious why it was out here. What does it mean? And, more importantly, should I shake its hand?

What the hell did you have to lose? This was, by far, the coolest thing you had seen all day, and after snapping a few pictures, you shook its hand for the fun of it.

Without warning, you were overcome with a wave of nausea that brought you to your knees. It was so unexpected and shocking that you didn’t even think to call for help, and within the same minute it appeared, it was gone. You rubbed your eyes and gathered yourself.

You looked at the statue, unchanged, still outreaching for a hand and scoff, “Fucking freaky triangle.” You decided it was best to turn back now, while you were still in one piece.

You were actually hoping the tour group forgot about you, but to your misfortune, the group was waiting for you, very impatiently. Soos rushed over to you, giving you a thorough look over

“What happened, dude!?” He asked, “I thought I told you not to…”

He seemed pretty upset, and now you felt bad.

“I'm just glad you're okay. You didn't run into anything weird or anything, right?” You shook your head, he sighed a breath of what seemed like relief, and with nothing else said, Soos gestures for everyone to get into the cart. The ride back was one in silence.

He didn’t even say anything after shutting off the golf cart when you all arrived at the Shack, he just gave a tired look to you before disappearing inside the gift shop.

There was obviously something he wasn’t letting in about the woods, and you had a bad feeling that the statue you had found there had something to do with that. It wasn’t any of your business, though, so you let it go. In a few days, you’d leave and forget this place entirely.

For tonight, you parked your car in an overnight RV lot at the edge of town and you nodded off after you realized your phone would never get enough cell service to check any media, social or not.

You jerked upwards in your seat when you heard a tap on your window. A quick glancs confirmed no one was outside of your car, you reached for your phone to check the time, only to realize it wasn’t where you had left it.

“Oh, were you looking for this?” You whipped around in the direction of the voice to see…the triangle.

“Let me tell ya, you had a death grip on this thing,” the triangle snorted, their voice echoing in the car, “I just had to know what kind of humiliating stuff you got in here.”

You had to be dreaming, there was no way you weren’t dreaming right now. You scramble over the seat to swipe your phone from the dreamworld intruder.

They pull the phone out of reach and snap a few flash photos of your desperate attempts to grab your phone from their grasp.

“HA! You wouldn’t believe how stupid you look in these,” The triangle vanished from view and appeared in the passenger seat beside you. They sat the phone down on the dash and gave you a playful smile, well, look…

“What’s your deal?” You snatched your phone up before they could grab it again, “Why are you here?”

“To be your new best friend, kid! You’re bold and I like that in a human. You got the potential to do something great with your life.”

The very statement “do something great with your life” made your eyes roll so far back in your sockets that you were sure you saw your brain.

“Ok, you’re not into schmoozing, I can accept that, doesn't mean I can’t make your life the most fun it’s ever been. The name’s Bill!” He extended a hand out to you, offering a handshake.

You glare at him, “Nothing good came from doing that last time.”

His eye narrows and he pulls his hand away, “Tch, fine then, your loss. I thought we had something special.”

“Yeah. Something special, alright. Could you maybe…leave and never come back? I’ve had enough weirdness for today.”

“I wish it was that simple,” Bill stroked under his eye where his metaphorical chin would be, “but I’m one of those things that’s real easy to get, hard to get rid of… like a fun case of head lice!”

“What?”

“That’s how it goes, you shake my hand and I’m your new brain pal until your corporeal meat-suit gives up, only one way to free me from your neurons and it ain’t easy.”

“So I’m stuck with you…forever?”

“If by forever you mean the pathetic amount of time you’ll spend on this mortal coil wallowing about trivial matters pertaining to your sad flesh…then yeah!”

It’s just a dream. Is it just a dream?

“If you really don’t want to hang out with me,” Bill glanced away from you with a big, sad eye, “I can tell you how to get me unstuck from your brain, it’s a process but it can be done.”

How could you even respond to that? You just stared back at him.

Bill sighed, “WOW. You’re really starting to bum me out.”

This isn’t real, It’s not real.

And then you woke up.

#antony's art #bill cipher #gravity falls #writing #gravity falls fanfiction #antony's ideas #this is the full edited version of this prologue #so reblogs and comments appreciated #fanfiction

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tadc-harlequin-au · 1 month

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HELLO WASSUP CHAMP!!! :DDD

Since you just restrained your lung demons, I’ll ask a fun question about the Souls-like Au:

Which Fighting-game archetypes would each character represent?

I know it’s set in an MMORPG but I see Ragatha’s design and go “she’s a fucking Zoner oh god” and I’m curious about what you think :)

Of course, if you don’t know much about fighting games, I’ll provide an alternative question:

What kind of combat system does the game have?

Black Desert? ESO? FF14? Dragons Dogma? Or is it just like Dark Souls or Elden Ring?

Have fun :D

For the Combat system I'm honestly taking major inspirations from God of War's (2018 and Ragnarok) Valkyrie/Berzerkers boss fights respectively, as well as obviously, Lies of P boss combat

I'm not actually very well-versed when it comes to everything you've described in the list, so I won't be taking inspiration from them lol

As for each characters' fighting style archetypes, I think I can do a list? These aren't final, but is closest to what I think their fighting style would be

Caine - Stage Control (His boss fight is kinda similar to Odin from GoW:Ragnarok)

Pomni - All-rounder (because ofc she is)

Ragatha - Zoner (or Glass Cannon? She's definitely one of the more 'damage-over-defense' type)

Jax - Pressurer (you know he's relentless in the battlefield)

Gangle - Trapper (I think this archetype fits her fighting style the best due to the fact that she's a Mercenary)

Kinger - Turtle (I can't really explain it for now, I need to think about it more)

Zoob - Dominating (Maybe a 'Keep Away' too?)

Again, this may change in the future as the AU gets more fleshed out, it's still pretty early to establish the game mechanics

#thanks for the ask!#tadc #tadc au #harlequin au #tadc harlequin au #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital souls-like au #tadc souls-like au #pomni #caine #jax #ragatha #gangle #kinger #zooble

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voxofthevoid · 3 months

Text

Commencing Mundane Unclekuna Wednesday #1—yes, these names get more ridiculous by the day. The actual fic title is bloodstains on the collar means just don't ask, which is significantly cooler on account of not being mine.

This is my first non-canon JJK AU—as opposed to the canon divergence, minor or major, that I favor—and despite the name, this isn't just sukuita; there's also goyuu. Quick, act shocked.

A lot of the AU development/exposition so far has focused on adapting canon details about the Itadori family for a no-powers, all-human context—like this post shows. On the character end, sorting out a version of Sukuna who's not a cannibalistic mass murderer but is sure as hell not nice, kind, or even sane has been a fun challenge, especially when depicting him from Yuuji's perspective. Gojou and the goyuu bits also needed some work, since taking them out of the canon context while keeping their age gap and teacher–student dynamic changes the flavor of fuckery. The most fun has been Yuuji though—you can see why here.

The fic is currently 3 chapters and 14k. I have a total of 7 chapters planned, though that may increase by one or two depending on how the sex scenes come along. For this week, instead of a single scene, I've picked a goyuu section from Chapter 2 and a sukuita one from Chapter 3.

Goyuu

Satoru plucks the manga that’s been resting on the table, balancing it on a finger while watching Itadori struggle to watch Satoru’s hand, chest, and face all at the same time. “School’s a boring place to wait. You can meet up at some café, can’t you?”

“I…guess?” Itadori shrugs. “It’s fine. I mean, I don’t mind. It’s more fun to go with people.”

“Shy?” Satoru asks, setting the manga down. “Or are you afraid people will think you’re some delinquent?”

Itadori looks both bewildered and entrained. He has a very expressive face. The eyes, especially.

“Nothing like that, sensei,” he says, and Satoru leans in a little at his tone—the same amused patience Satoru’s heard in people who can tolerate him best, except they generally take months, if not years, to get to that level of resigned acceptance. Itadori leans in too, matching Satoru consciously or unconsciously. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m a curious guy,” Satoru drawls. It’s not even a lie. “And you’re interesting.”

Itadori blushes again. “Oh. Um, thanks?”

Satoru smiles. This time, Itadori’s eyes drop to his mouth, and Satoru can’t help smiling a little wider.

Itadori swallows.

“Back to the question then.” Satoru links his hands and props his chin on it. Itadori’s gaze doesn’t leave his mouth. “Why’d your uncle come pick you up?”

Itadori’s well within his rights to tell Satoru to fuck off—diplomatically, maybe, since they’re teacher and student, but the sentiment would be the same. Even Satoru’s closest friends aren’t shy about firmly and often physically steering his nose out of their business.

But Itadori answers: “My parents left town pretty suddenly, and I’d forgotten my phone at home. They couldn’t tell me to go to Sukuna’s place instead. So he came here.”

Satoru hums. “I’d say you’re old enough to stay home alone. Don’t tell me you’re the sort to cause trouble with a bit of freedom.”

“No?” Itadori looks genuinely confused. “I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t mind staying alone either, but my dad worries, so…”

“So you’re being a considerate son,” Satoru finishes in his own words. “What a good boy.”

Itadori’s breath catches audibly. His eyes are darker now, giving an animal edge to his face. It’s an interesting expression, and it makes him look a bit more like his uncle.

Satoru gives him a moment.

Then— “He seems like an interesting man to live with, your uncle.”

Itadori blinks. A frown takes over his face, even though his eyes stay tellingly dark. “You could say that. Gojou-sensei, you aren’t…?”

Satoru waits, but Itadori doesn’t complete the question, just stares at Satoru like he’s trying to telepathically pour the rest of the words into his head. Unfortunately, Satoru isn’t fluent in awkward teenager.

“Go on,” Satoru prods.

Itadori grimaces, and it shows in his voice when he asks, “You’re not, like, into Sukuna, are you?”

Satoru’s dumbfounded for a moment. Then he’s stifling laughter, not all that successfully. Itadori’s expression shifts from disgusted discomfort to just plain embarrassment, but even through that, he stares at Satoru—his mouth and his eyes.

Brave boy.

“Sorry,” Satoru says, not meaning it one whit. He’s loving this. “Reasonable assumption on your part, really. But don’t worry, your uncle’s safe from me.”

Itadori seems to relax a little. “It’s more the other way around.”

“Oh?” Satoru asks, intrigued. “Is he trouble?”

Itadori squints at him. “Sensei, you sound way too excited about that.”

“I did say I’m curious! I can promise not to hit on him, if that’ll put you at ease.” Satoru holds out his hand invitingly. “Gentleman’s agreement.”

Itadori stares at the hand for a full second.

Then he slowly, warily takes it.

It’s not a small hand; Itadori’s not a small boy. Satoru is bigger though, and his hand envelops Itadori’s, the tips of his index and middle fingers coming to a gentle rest against Itadori’s pulse. His hand is shockingly rough, with hard calluses brushing Satoru’s skin.

He squeezes gently.

Itadori’s blush hasn’t faded fully since Satoru called him a good boy, but now, it flares, splattering gracelessly across his face. It goes shockingly well with his hair.

Lines are being crossed. Satoru feels it keenly, the change in the air.

He drags his hand out of Itadori’s, slower and more delicate than he needs to. His fingers trail from Itadori’s racing pulse to the trembling tips of his fingers, and even after Satoru’s leaned back again, folding his hands demurely in his lap, Itadori’s hand hovers in the air over the table for a good few seconds before dropping limply to the surface.

Satoru winks at him. “Now spill.”

Itadori blinks slowly. Satoru can practically see his brain rebooting.

“What was the question again?” Itadori asks.

Sukuita

Movement wakes him, eons before the touch.

A hand settles on his hip, searing even through the cloth. It’s limp, flopping there in a decent mimicry of a sleep-heavy limb. Sukuna knows better.

Wasn’t always like this. The kid was a kid once. More of a kid. Small, helpless, useless. A piece of shit from the start though. The first time Jin handed him to Sukuna, practically forcing his little bundle of snotty joy into his hands, the little fucker had thrown up on his face.

Jin laughed, the bastard. He didn’t mean to, that much was clear from the stifled snorts and painfully red face. Kenjaku had no such compunctions, chortling like the same brat hadn’t damn near killed them on his way out of their cunt.

Kaori had the sense to take the baby away before Sukuna could toss him out a window. The most sensible of the lot, and of course she’s the one who went and died. Sukuna’s been seeing a lot more of the kid since then. Even more since Wasuke followed suit.

Shit luck to be born into a family like this. He used to think the brat didn’t fit in, with his big baby eyes and bleeding heart. Worse than his father. Turns out he’s weirder too, but Sukuna blames Kenjaku for that.

Blood will always out.

That’s no excuse for this—the hand sliding down to his stomach, the body pressing against his back. The kid’s warm.

He’s not, usually. That body runs cold. Sukuna noticed it the first time when the kid was tiny, barely the length of his forearm. A frail mass of fabric and fluff nestled against his chest, leeching off his body heat. Not that it took much to warm that tiny thing.

’Course, then the kid woke up and promptly latched on to a nipple because he was even dumber then, and when Sukuna pried him off while yelling for Kenjaku, he’d been treated to a deranged shriek that damn near ruptured his ear drums.

Nothing much has changed over the years. The brat went from screaming at him to biting him to scowling at him to punching him to trying to fucking kill him. Wildcat, through and through. The only part of him Sukuna’s ever bothered to nurture.

It’s different when he’s asleep. The baby soaking in his warmth. The toddler sprawled on his chest. The boy curled up in his lap.

Small and weak and utterly unbothered about it.

How the fuck do you live like that, trust like that?

At least this is better. It’s not trust breathing into his nape and groping his stomach. It’s just human filth.

They’re testing touches, slow enough and idle enough that the brat probably thinks they’d pass as sleepy ministrations.

Idiot.

Nobody would miss the intent behind this. It’s scorching.

If someone held him at gunpoint and forced him to admit the one thing he has in common with his brother’s spawn, it wouldn’t be the hair or the blood or the killing rage—it’d be this, the hunger.

Sukuna can tell the exact moment the brat decides he’s actually asleep. His palm presses flat against Sukuna’s stomach, skin to skin. That’s on him for sleeping shirtless despite his impromptu bedmate, but like hell is he changing his habits just because this little creep wants to molest him in his sleep. Not like clothes would stop him anyway.

Sukuna continues to feign sleep, his breathing steady and just a little uneven—a rhythm he memorized and learned to mimic for situations a lot more dire than the badly planned porno playing out right now.

The kid’s patient. Or just a fucking virgin. Sukuna can’t imagine why else he’d spent minutes just touching his stomach, that warm palm rubbing lazy circles over his abs. Sometimes, it presses down, denting the soft layer of fat on his belly to dig into the muscle underneath. It’s a struggle not to flex then. A few muscles jump, entirely involuntary, but the brat just breathes heavier and wetter, squirming closer to Sukuna.

There’s another hand between their bodies—an entire arm, the line of it doing nothing to hide what it’s touching. It’s not moving, yet, and Sukuna still hasn’t figured out whether it’s there just for the pressure or if the stupid shit actually thinks that not digging his boner into Sukuna’s back means something.

Some line to not cross. Some precious moral to cling to.

Sukuna wouldn’t put it past him, but the brazen bullshit the other day told a different story. It sure wasn’t guilt or even shame that darkened the brat’s eyes when Sukuna tore him off his back and pinned him by the throat.

#goyuu #sukuita #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #wip wednesday #jjk snippets #my fic #fic: bloodstains on the collar #divider credit: saradika-graphics

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