#but i'm sad and want to gatekeep

[the-coffee-god]

love when the media i started to love years ago gets popular and my partner and all his friends hyperfixate on it and i'm not invited to the party

[thefabelmans2022]

well that's just not true at all is it.

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

Aww, thank you for dropping this off in my askbox! Also oh god, I have so many favorite fics that I wrote, how will I ever choose just five? Anyway, these are arguably my favorite five fics that I wrote.

We Are Pilots (Tron Legacy, Sam/Tron, 90k words) changed my life. I answered a Tron Kink Meme fill with the kind of insane fervor that I later felt when writing another fic on this short list, and the response was phenomenal and overwhelming. This fic was the confidence booster of a lifetime and made me feel that actually, I am capable of writing stories on an epic scale. This fic went through several full rewrites and the final one is my favorite because this was where I really learned to let a story breathe and to make the environment as immersive as possible.

Wishing Well (Captain America: The First Avenger, 10k words) was a capkinkmeme fill (I was really big on LJ anon kink memes and I miss those so much for the unhinged communal vibes) and I love this short tragic tale of all the love that couldn't be. If I need something sad and cathartic, I read this fic. I need to feel the tragedy. I committed so hard to the bit that I deleted a fourth chapter set during Iron Man 2 and replaced it with a ficmix playlist.

born in a thunderstorm (Star Trek AOS/Guardians of the Galaxy/Thor Ragnarok/Captain Mavel, Kirk/McCoy, 68k) is the most unhinged thing I thought up since I was a middle schooler daydreaming a crossover of a bunch of Saturday morning cartoons and interestingly dubbed anime, and since I was a high schooler who went all out on a Kingdom Hearts fic by printing the screenplays for several Disney movies so that I can mimic the actual game as closely as possible. To think that this is the STXI fic I ended up writing after years of wanting to and never doing so out of fear I'd fuck up and get gatekept out of Star Trek.

Sweather Weather (Star Wars, Din/Luke, 22k) won the fight with Gravity Well because fall is here and the cozy vibes are strong in this one. Years back, I tried to write a cozy vibes fic and flamed out because I was a fool and didn't stick to the "slice of life" mentality. Anyway, this is my slice of life/cozy vibes fic and I adore it.

The Storm (Star Wars, Din/Luke, 45k) is the story I wrote in a fever dream, fueled by the song "Dangerous Dreams" by Lebrock, and my life has not been the same since then. This story is still so vivid to me. I still think about the claustrophic setting, the old stone temple on a forgotten world ravaged by weeks-long thunderstorms, and how that forged a curiosity and connection between two people whose cultures and ways of life were destroyed by the Empire yet still survived. I still think about this fic the way I think about stories that just seared themselves into my brain and won't go away (like the other fics on this list, Peter Jackson's LOTR trilogy, and Andor). It's all fucking insane. How the fuck did I write that?

Anyway, appreciate getting this ask! Now back to writing the next chapter of the 4th story of the series spun out of The Storm.

[cinnamon-phrog]

How's your day going on tumblr

My day has only just started [EST timezone you see, I am so sorry if I'm incomprehensible] but it's going well, thank you!

I was a bit sad because I chose to give the benefit of the doubt to someone someone else was being mean to, but the person I gave the benefit too turned out to be exactly who I hoped they weren't.

That red x yellow shipper turned out to be a pr*shipper but just didn't say it, a friend of mine told me about their gross twitter acc, as well as the other shipper who sided with them. The only thing they're right about is yes it does indeed look like it's 2022 again :c

It makes me sad to see nothing but gatekeepers and pr*shippers in the dhmis tag so I'm just going to not bother looking anymore, you all had your chances.

It's very messy and has upset me for a bit, but I went offline to go to town and I felt much better!!

[I go off a lot more in the tags- like a LOT a lot. A sort-of vent/complaint but not an ooooooh look at me vent just a few things that've happened in the past that made me who I am now]

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Hey CJ 👋 I hope you’re doing well in life.

I’m on the same page as you, when it comes to taking a step back from TWDG & the fandom. And, coming back to the games after sometime & seeing it in a different light. Some things that didn’t click with you back then, makes a bit more sense now.

Also, I’m curious.. what are thoughts on true colors? Steph & Ryan? 👀

Hello, my friend! 👋 Been a while! But yeah, I'm doing fine; a lot of the usual work with writing fic and blog posts in between.

Yeah it's funny to step away from a fandom you're so engrossed in for so long, like twdg was such a huge part of my life back in 2018-2020 with me running this blog, writing fic, and streaming. Now I'm just in a completely different headspace in general, and looking at the games now, they're still amazing but my reasonings are different. Also I talk about the comics a lot, which isn't something I would've guessed I'd be doing. If you go back to when they were announced, I made posts being like "yeeeeeah I dunno if I'm gonna read them :/" jokes on me. I read them multiple times, I need to make that useful haha.

As for LiS True Colors, I actually super loved it?? way more than I ever did the first LiS game?? though I think I might've loved it for the wrong reasons. I don't know, I haven't actually looked into what LiS fans thought of it compared to the other games, but for me it was a "perfect time, perfect place" game in the moment. To me the whole thing was nearly a perfect escapism game; the music is an A+, the entire town is gorgeous and covered in flowers and woods, Alex gets to live in a nice apartment for free [the true fantasy], there's a whole LARP campaign to play through, a flower festival where I've never been so conflicted on who to give a rose to, and overall just the coziest vibes. I swear, I spent most of the game just wandering around the town looking at all the flowers, it was great.

Like if Gabe didn't die and True Colors was just about Alex moving to this fantasy-like small town and working through her issues with the help of her powers, I would've been 100% on board. I didn't mind the mystery, though I totally guessed Jed would be the twist villain given the first episode immediately presents him as a hero who saved a bunch of people in the mines, I was like "Oh did he now... mmhmmm mmhmmm and he's Ryan's dad, oohhh he's gonna be this game's Jefferson-" except he was done better than Jefferson imo. He didn't turn into a cartoon character and his motivations behind the cover up were interesting. He didn't do it for the aesthetic like Jefferson did. And in the end I got everyone to side with me, except Charlotte because I told her to take the money so she wanted to speak out but couldn't, which was honestly fine with me like take their money, send Ethan to college, we'll stab Typhon just fine without your vocal support.

I liked most of the characters, except for Diane and Mac, though I reluctantly disliked Mac less by the end... Diane can suck an egg, though. I don't think I've ever wanted to throw a character out a window more than when Alex came back all bloodied with a bullet wound on her head as she exposed the truth and when she asks why no one's saying anything, Diane just goes, "We don't want to embarrass you" kjlkajdslkjalkjdl LADY DON'T PISS ME OFF

As for Ryan and Steph, I liked them both, trying to choose between them was absurdly difficult. It was like True Colors saw how easily I picked between Louis and Violet and took it as a challenge to create Ryan and Steph specifically to stump me. I mean, soft boy who loves nature, goes out of his way to be kind and helpful to those around him, has a slow build up to being emotionally available with someone he trusts, and has some daddy issues? A girl with pretty brown eyes who loves DnD and LARP, has a passion for music and will deflect with humor, who knows who she is and is eager to help those around her, and who isn't just another rehash of Chloe? They knew what they were doing; they dressed Steph up in as a witch after having Ryan act like a goof acting like enemy creatures, they were made for me.

Having done both routes, I do prefer Steph. I adore her and Alex together, but Alex and Ryan are super cute, too.

It's not a perfect game and there are issues in the writing but honestly, I don't care. I had a good time. I was engaged. I looked at every single flower and kissed a pretty girl so good that the world exploded. What a great game.

[dmclemblems]

YE GIRL AIN’T MINCIN’ WORDS LIKE YIIIIKES

AND SHE RIGHT THO

[everypigeondeserveslove]

Live tweeting the Emmy's but instead of twitter it's just me flooding the group chat with messages

[elfwreck]

I have a friend who isn't anti-porn but it makes her sad that fanfic has a reputation for being porny and usually not very good. I'm fine with both those things and my views mostly align with that of AO3. I disagree with the idea that porn and badness are treated as equivalent, but for most people that's just how they think. But I was wondering if youve ever written something about this?

There is a lot of smut at AO3.

There is a lot of bad writing at AO3.

There's a lot of badly written smut at AO3.

...None of those are problems except for the people who think there is something wrong with those existing, or that there needs to be some external value that "balances" those that make those acceptable to exist as unwanted side-effects of "the good stuff."

The badly-written smut is also "the good stuff."

It's part of the reason AO3 exists. It's not intended to be an archive for "the high-quality fanfic that could be published if it weren't about characters that someone else wrote first"; it's an archive for "what fanfic writers want to write." That makes the terrible writing and the tacky porn and the badly-written tacky porn part of the reason the archive exists.

Tangent 1 (I'll connect these points later): Theodore Sturgeon said "90% of everything is crud." He was more-or-less referring to the science fiction field in the 50s, but it definitely extended to politics, business, and writing outside of science fiction.

...He was talking about published books in the 50s. Turns out, a lot more than 90% of writing is crud when there aren't any gatekeepers between it and the readers. But also:

Tangent 2, from the book "Art and Fear":

[A] ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pound of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one — to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes — the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

You don't get to "quality writing" without going through a lot of crappy writing.

That doesn't mean the crappy writing is garbage to be thrown out. If you make 50 pots or bowls or vases, and only one of them is The Good One... most of the rest are okay. Maybe not sale-quality good, but your-kitchen-table quality good. Maybe some aren't that good and are kids-toy-in-the-sandbox level good.

Bad writing has a purpose for the writer: they can use it as practice to get better. It has a purpose for the reader: It can serve as inspiration ("I can do better than that") or grammatical instruction ("that...does not work; why doesn't that work?") or just as entertainment ("eh, so it's missing a few commas; I can still understand it").

Smut and porn writing works the same way. It's of some value to the writer, and some to the readers.

It's not of value to everyone. That's what tags and filters are for, and why there's a summary and list of stats (like word counts)--so you can figure out if you're one of the readers for whom this piece of writing is useful or interesting.

But AO3, like any library, is not there to take the top 5% of Excellent Writing and provide it a showcase. It is absolutely for all 50 lbs of pots.

If your friend wants to read the good stuff, there are rec lists and collections to help her find it.

If she already manages that, and is just annoyed at how much of the not-good stuff (however she defines that) exists... she's picked the wrong battle. She's arguing with the ocean that it has too many kinds of fish and some are poisonous a lot of them are ugly.

[drchucktingle]

do you have any tingler suggestions for an asexual and aromantic buckaroo?

YES BUD all preferred pounds are valid including NO POUND AT ALL and this is very important, as i am sure my aromantic and asexual buds know.

as a buckaroo who spends a lot of time fighting against gatekeeping i will use this as opportunity to say yet again ALL ARE WELCOME IN THE TINGLEVERSE ESPECIALLY MY ACE AND ARO BUCKAROOS.

in fact, after chucks upcoming horror novel CAMP DAMASCUS i have another horror novel coming out next year from same publisher called BURY YOUR GAYS (i am being secret about plot of for now but trust me tumblr buds will like this one) but one of the MAIN LEADS of 'bury your gays' is an asexual aromantic bud and she is such a fun character REALLY enjoyed writing her and i am excited for everyone to meet her.

ALRIGHT as far as tinglers go i have written MANY pound free books that you can enjoy, some are about an ace or aro way and some are about consent or saying NO THANKS BUD but they all do not have sex in them. the favorite of most buckaroos is probably ABSOLUTELY NO THOUGHTS OF POUNDING DURING MY FUN DAY WITH THIS KIND T-REX BECAUSE I'M AROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL AND THAT'S A WONDERFULLY VALID WAY OF PROVING LOVE IS REAL

if you are interested in whole collections there are paperbacks name of NOT POUNDED BY ANYTHING that you would probably enjoy. this series has three whole volumes just keep in mind not all characters in these bundle are ace and aro but MANY are. others just dont feel like a pound.

examples of stories that are more about consent and importance of HOLDING BOUNDARIES would be something like JUST KIND OF IGNORING THIS SAD LONESOME T-REX WHO IS SCREAMING "DEBATE ME" FROM HIS FOLDING CHAIR which is about how sometimes best way to deal with goofball conservative 'commentators' is just ignore their scoundrel whining as they moan their lonesome ways in the dark. so there are no pounds in that one just ignores. it is available as audiobook and so is ace aro story above too.

anyway buckaroo hope that helps. if you want to see full list you can look on chuck website and trot down to section of tinglers that says NO SEX

thank you for proving love is real in your own way i am SO GLAD our timelines have crossed it is an honor and i appreciate it very much. had fun time revisiting these books today and look forward to writing more for my asexual and aromantic buds. LOVE IS REAL

[riririnnnn]

As much as I'm happy for Blue Lock S2, I also want to gatekeep Hiori from the animation team.

There is some kind of emptiness in his eyes that I haven't quite seen in the few frames of anime he was featured. I'm afraid that they might, unintentionally, ruin his character design for me—I don't want him to just be a soft looking boy; his eyes told his story way before Manga did.

Even when he was visibly smiling or laughing, there was some kind of sadness that was always, unknowingly, lingering around.

Something about him felt melancholic, and everything made sense when his backstory was revealed.

You might think I've gone crazy, but he seems so free now after the Ubers match. It doesn't make sense, I know, but at the same time, it makes a lot of sense.

He was just a cheeky lil bastard all along after all.

Bless ya, ya ultrasadist.

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

hi covey !! i was wondering if you could write about daughter of poseidon and percy taking leo, jason, piper, annabeth, frank and hazel to the state fair and at the end of the night the reader kissing either leo or jason at the top of the ferris wheel

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Cotton Candy Kisses

content: leo valdez x daughter of poseidon! reader warning: language author's note: do i mention cotton candy at all in this fic??? no. is it still in the title??? yes. sue me. ANYWAYS im now yearning for my county fair so thanks for that- I GOTTA WAIT LIKE FOUR WEEKS GUYS WHAT THE FLIP I WANT IT NOWWWWWWWW anyways, this was cutesy but also i had a negative want to write it but here it is!!!

when percy and you heard the fair would be in town, you guys didn't even think twice about dragging your friends to it. chrion was quick to shoot this field trip down, something about it being unsafe. and you and percy pretended to be sad, pouting but nodding. and the second the centaur turned his hind to the siblings, the pair was racing off to find the stoll's. with some minor bribery of doing chores for a few weeks and forking over the chocolate bars the children of poseidon had been gatekeeping, they had an easy - though illegal - way out of camp.

a lot of the argo ii crew had yet to be at a fair in their lives. most notable their roman counterparts and annabeth. percy was more than happy to show his girlfriend the ropes, glad that for once he had all the knowledge. it didn't last too long, as annabeth quickly got the hang of things, but percy did soak up every minute he could.

"so...this is funnel cake," you mused, shoving it across the wooden bench with a wide smile. frank and hazel leaned in suspiciously, frank stabbing it hesitantly with his fork.

"it looks...decent?" hazel offered, glancing up at you as you snorted at her response.

"give it a shot! i'm not a big fan but percy loves it," you explained with a shrug of your shoulders, watching with a smile as they took a few small bites, which quickly devolved into huge bites.

"guys! guys! you have got to try this!" jason called as he came rushing back, leo a puddle laughs as he followed. you glanced over your shoulder, welcoming leo's kiss to your cheek naturally.

"what'd you get?" you asked, taking the lemonade you asked leo to get for you with an appreciative kiss to the corner of his lips.

"a deep fried twinkie. best thing to ever grace the planet. here," replied jason before shoving the left over half to his other roman friends. you laughed at the buzzing boy, basically tasing the electric static in the air as you took a sip of your drink. you sighed out a breath as the drink hit your tongue - nothing quite like fair lemonade, truly!

"woah," frank said as he took a bite, his eyes going wide as him and jason shared a look of understanding.

"this is the best thing i've ever seen. we should introduce them to new stuff every year," leo joked, stealing a sip from your drink. though, you didn't really count it as stealing as you presented the yellow bendy straw to him.

"it's like watching kids discover a sugar high," you muttered back, watching frank share the funnel cake with jason, who wasn't exactly a big fan.

"hey! line for the zipper is super short!" percy called as he walked up with annabeth, who was proudly snuggling a teddy bear to her chest. which she won herself, as percy was struggling to hit the balloons with the darts.

"no sir. last time you force me on that ride i threw up!" you hissed, shaking your head rapidly. jason and frank were already jumping up, eager to try more new things.

"cmon. i promise to hold your hair back if you do throw up," leo offered as he stood up, holding his hand out to you. and you looked up at him in the glittering sunlight, gnawing on your lip in false contemplation as you'd already made up your mind.

"and they say chivalry is dead," you teased, taking his hand easily and letting him pull you from your seat and towards the fair ride.

and he did end up holding up his part of the deal, his hands your own personal hair tie as you spilled your guts into a trashcan. leo didn't mind though, trying his hardest not to laugh as you cursed him and percy out between gags. and he had fading thoughts of doing this years later, in a house of their own with a new little valdez on the way.

you sat out of most rides for the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening, nursing a seven-up percy got you as an apology. which earned him a kick to the shins, as you were still mad at him. leo, the great boyfriend he was, sat out with you, too, his arm threw over the back of the bench you guys took up post at. you leaned into his side without a second thought, holding onto piper, hazel, and annabeth's purses while they rode area 51 and the ring of fire.

"we're off to the farris wheel, which i figured was gentle enough for you. wanna come?" piper asked as she and the others came up to you and leo. he looked down at you, leaving the decision completely up to you.

"eh, fuck it. not much left in my stomach anyways," you shrugged, rising with a small giggled.

"that's the spirit!" cheered piper, wrapping her arm with yours and dragging you off with the rest of the group, leo rising and falling in line with the boys, your purse thrown over his shoulder without an ounce of shame.

the line wasn't terribly long as the night was starting to dwindle down and people began returning home. plus, you guys played an intense game of heads up while in line, which made the time fly. following the defeat of your high score by annabeth, you guys were next in line. naturally, the group broke into the natural couple pairs, leo's fingers instantly finding your belt loops with a large grin. piper and jason were more than happy to keep playing heads up together while on the ride. although, it was a bit awkward when the poor teen who was working the ride joked about them being a cute couple, which left the rest of the group hiding their laughs behind their hands as piper replied with a cheeky,

"yeah, his step-mom thought so, too!"

cue more laughter and the teen's face scrunching up in confusion. then the rest of you got your own seats. leo's hand never once left your thigh, his fingers tapping some unknown rhythm as the seat rocked with the roll of the ride. you kept your eyes on your boyfriend, not eager to look down as see the drop, knowing it'd just make your stomach lurch.

"you alright?" leo questioned, ever intuitive to your feelings.

"heights," you replied with a shrug and leo hummed, turning to you as a glimmer took over his eyes. a tale tell sign that this conversation would end with his lips against yours.

"wanna take the edge off?" he offered and you rolled your eyes with a small smile.

"let's see what ya got, valdez," you teased and before you could even finish the sentence completely, leo's lips were pressed against yours. your hands quickly found a home gently against his cheek while his hand slid up from your thigh to grip your waist and pulling you closer - well, as much as he could in the awkward position. he pulled back when his lungs began to beg for oxygen, smiling as your lips subconsciously chased his.

"that work?"

"wonders. but, we should try again. you know, just to make it stick."

"happily-"

"STOP MOOCHING ON MY SISTER, VALDEZ!"

"SHE'S BEEN MY GIRLFRIEND FOR OVER A YEAR, FISH HEAD!"

"I DON'T CARE! GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF HER!"

"SHE DOESN'T SEEM TO MIND-"

"EXCUSE ME, SIR, DO NOT CLIMB OUT OF THE RIDE-"

[two-white-butterflies]

smart sexy lacy | c55 and c16

Description: Three years after that horrible breakup with Charles Leclerc; now you're dating his teammate. What happens when certain deals are levied upon you? Will you follow through or go back to what you're used to?

Author's Note: Yes, I'm going through something. SEMI INSPIRED BY THAT ONE TIKTOK WITH THE GIRL THAT LOOKED LIKE YOUNG SALMA HAYEK. A little angsty and sad and toxic. But that's life and this happens in real life.

yourusername: Aren't you the greatest thing to ever exist? #YOURNAME in Vogue AUS' new cover. ✨

liked by carlossainz55 and 1,283,192 others

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carlossainz55: Beautiful ❤️ - yourusername: Handsome ❤️

oliviarodrigo: dazzling starlet... 😇

bellaciao9: It's so weird seeing her be romantic wit Carlos

carlossainz55: She blesses Mallorca. ❤️🇪🇸

liked by yourusername, Charles_Leclerc and 1,293,192 others

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lovingyou71: HOW CARLOS AND CHARLES DATED THIS BADDIE?? I'D NEVER KNOW

livonce0: is it just me or do they look good together?

holypolly: LOVE FROM BRAZIL 🇧🇷

yourusername: when your boyfriend posts an ugly picture of u so u have to remind everyone that u look good. 💥😮

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carlossainz55: It's called 'gatekeeping' 🤣

carlosandynfanbase: MOMMY...MOMMY...SORRY?

ynforever: the way that there's 4m likes 💀

A small exhale exited your mouth - oh, you always swore that you were over him, but seeing him walk past you. He's just standing there, breathing beside you - all the while your heart heaves in pain. You wonder if he still wears the same perfume - if he still wears the same lucky pants during race day. Or has he changed?

"Nice weather today," he smiled, gently settling down beside Carlos. You promised that you were over him - but now that he was sitting across from you - fuck, was it hard.

How could ever get over him? How could you ever get over a man who brought two umbrellas just to keep you dry? "It'll be easier to race, right?" you placed a hand on Carlos' chin in an effort to rid that man from your periphery. "Depends on how Max behaves," Carlos chuckles while pressing a kiss to your lips.

"Oh, a little decorum for the minors here." Charles chuckled while pointing at Oscar. "Oscar, this is what true love looks like." your eyes narrowed teasingly at the younger man and he rolled his eyes. Yep, this was true love. "Congrats on the engagement, by the way!" Lando congratulates while raising his champagne glass.

You exchange a side-glance with Charles. He wasn't smiling - and that somehow made you feel better.

yourusername: pinon and carlito ✨ 2 dawgs, 1 frame.

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carlossainz55: ❤️

ynuniverse: I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

bordoutr2: PINON IS SO BIGG OMG

"How much did you pay for your engagement ring?" a street-interviewer suddenly invades your privacy. Carlos gives you a soft glance and you nod, seeing that you had time and there wasn't anything wrong with a little interviewing. "I paid for less than what she's worth," he chuckled - not taking his eyes off you. "Well how much do you think she's worth?" the man asked and he shrugs.

"I'd say all of the jewels in the world - then multiply it by infinity." he laughed while muttering the last word. Carlos absolutely adored you. "He's just bluffing because of the cameras, do you really think that?" your eyebrows merged into each other - he's only said 'i love you' as much as there were fingers in your hands.

You weren't aware that his love was this deep.

"I haven't said it enough - but yeah." he played with the plastic bag on his right hand. To your surprise, the man suddenly turns in your direction. "Do you think that you're worth that much?" he placed the microphone a few inches away from your lips but Carlos interrupts him. "I think that I can answer this one," he glanced at you - and you silently nodded.

"She's worth so much more than that, and this engagement ring is not even a fraction of what I feel for her."

"But if you're spending this much money, what do you get in return?" the interviewer bitterly asked and Carlos couldn't help but laugh a little. He's had years of experience in media training. He could explain his side as eloquently as this man asked his question rudely. "What do I get in return?" Carlos repeated the question. "Yep."

"I get a partner that is loyal to me - a partner that would choose me everyday when there are thousands of men much better than me. I get the mother of my children and a woman that'll be beside me until I die - and this engagement ring is absolutely nothing compared to whatever precious gift she gives me everyday." he smiled at you.

Your eyes twinkled a little bit - you were falling in love with him for the second time. Carlos was even more deeper than what you initially thought - so much more sensible and polite. "Okay, but are you saying that everyone has to spend so much money just to have the bare minimum?" the man inquires and Carlos shakes his head.

"I'll be clear and say that what she gives me is beyond the bare minimum, and it really depends on how much a person makes." he answers and you nod. "It's all about the feelings that come with giving a present," you bite your lower lip and the man frowned. "How much do you earn?" he turned towards Carlos.

"Okay, thank you for interviewing us." he pulled you away - quickly fading into the packed New York crowd.

You weren't prepared to face him alone.

It was a stormy night - a few minutes before your spontaneous engagement dinner with Carlos and the Grid began. The other drivers were in the other room - belting their asses off to singing 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion while you prepared your signature drinks. You were the only person inside the kitchen - until Charles decided to make his way.

"So, are you really going to marry him?" he inquired in a nonchalant tone. A decade ago, you wouldn't even entertain the thought of dating Carlos Sainz - but now, all you wanted to do was marry him. "What's that supposed to mean?" you asked, eyebrows merging into each other. That tone implied something else.

He placed his hands on the counter, staring deep into your eyes. "Let's not do this, please." he pleaded, searching for something behind your face. A hidden longing. Wishful thinking, maybe?

"We always broke up then got back with each other. This is the nature of our relationship, please don't make the wrong decision by marrying someone that cannot handle you." he proposed and you couldn't help but be offended in behalf of your fiancee. "You cannot handle him - he's boring and simple. You are someone that's so fucking explosive. You need someone interesting." he begged.

"Boring? My relationship with Carlos is not exciting - I must admit. It started off in the most boring way - as acquaintances. And our love may be different from what we shared. It's not exciting, or explosive - but it's so fucking sure. I know that I'll choose him everyday and he'll do the same. Something that I cannot guarantee with anyone else." you breathed, lifting the tray off the table and making your way towards the karaoke room.

You'd always choose Carlos, because he was your true love.

yourusername: slaybells, boots dows, houston i'm deceased. 🎄

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carlossainz55: te amo y mas - yourusername: te amo tanto

[be-missed]

Find You Again (Drabble)

Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

(pictures not mine)

Summary: Four months post-breakup, Y/N "swiftly" moved on, entangled with a rising singer. Jenna, still raw from their shattered romance, covertly attended Y/N's performance at Coachella Valley Music. The echo of Y/N's new song sliced through her soul like a knife, reigniting her heartbreak with an unbearable intensity.

Warnings: curse words, notify me if there are any

A/N: This is a backstory. A new song released by Wendy, so listen to it if you can!

Song: His Car Isn't Yours // WENDY

Masterlist

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"Do you wanna go around to get some food?" Mia asked Jenna, obviously trying to get her away from the stage where Y/N will perform in a few. The both of you planned this; You will perform your first ever stage in Coachella while she watch you. But it turns out that the world has other plans for the both of you.

You broke up with each other four months ago, but you are now dating a rising singer for two months. It fucking hurt, really. It hurt Jenna so deep. She never heard from you after you dropped off her things in her house and she went away to do filming.

"No, uhm, you go ahead, I'm not really hungry" Jenna smiled timidly to her sister. Mia nodded and leaves Jenna alone at their spot, near enough to watch you clearly, but far enough to not be seen.

Five minutes later, the crowd are cheering for your opening song. Jenna was watching you sing, reminiscing those days where the both of you were in a studio and she was the only person that gets to hear your masterpiece. She wants to gatekeep you actually, she doesn't want anyone thinking that they wanted to be yours. Because you are only hers and she's only for you.

She remembers how she drives to your house, picking you up, driving fast in the highway and driving slow through the suburbs. She remembers how you were always waiting up in your driveway waiting for her car to park in front so that you can greet her. Jenna sometimes parks her car on the other side of the street just to surprise you, but hell she wonders how you still noticed where she is parked.

A tear fell from her eyes, she wiped it up fast, not wanting to be seen. She hates herself right now, she hates how she is so hung up on you while you were out there dating some dude. Jenna thought to herself, "Did some force take you because I didn't pray?" because if it did, right here, right now, she'll be on her knees begging that things aren't real and she's just dreaming.

Your voice break her thoughts when you said "So this song is for someone... that has been a part of my life. A big part actually." You bitterly smiled, Jenna saw the camera focused on you, it didn't go unnoticed that you were actually finding someone in the crowd. You continue to speak "So uhm, if you are ever here, this is for you."

Jenna is nervous, because it's either you sing a song about that dude or your gonna sing about her. But she doesn't want to get her hopes high, so she did some breathing exercises to ground herself when the intro of the song started.

You start singing the song, it was... a sad one. A song that is actually about you and her. The moon is taking over the sun making the venue a tad bit darker, making the fans lit up the flashlights on their phone.

You moved to the center of the stage, closer to the people that are watching you. Scanning every possible face that your low resolution eyes can see. Trying so hard to find Jenna, because she promised. She promised she'll watch your first performance in Coachella.

Am I supposed to find someone

Makes me feel how I felt?

I'm trying think it's time that

I try again with someone new

The stream of tears on Jenna's face is now continuous, no matter how hard she tried to stop herself, she just couldn't. No one knew the relationship that you two had, no one knew that the two of you are connected. The both of you are rising stars in each track that you take, but the both of you are still not famous enough to break the internet with some dating rumors.

Now it's eight o'clock and I'm waiting on

This good guy to come pick me up

I just wanna have a good night

He's pulling up, oh my God, I see the headlights

And he opens my door but his car isn't yours

It's not you anymore in my driveway

It isn't you drivers seat on the highway

It isn't you on your way every Friday

And I hate that it hurts that his car isn't yours, yeah

But that car isn't yours

No, his car isn't yours

Yeah

The bridge hit every part of Jenna's heart that screams your name, which absolutely every part of her entire being. After your break up, she just drive past your house just to see if you are awake, to see if your dining room light is on, or just to see you in your driveway waiting for her.

Now it's 2 AM, he just dropped me off

Asked if he could come in, I told him maybe not

Then he asked what he did, I said that nothing's wrong

It wasn't your car

The song ended in a sad beat with you thanking everybody on your team, the festival, and the audience that watched you. Sad to say, you ended your set with a broken heart. You were happy, of course, being able to perform on a big music festival with a lot of people that can support you and listen to your music. But Jenna wasn't there, you didn't see Jenna standing on her spot, rooted there like she was planted.

But that car isn't yours

No, his car isn't yours, mmm-mmm

Eh-yeah, mmm, yeah

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A/N: Chapter 3 is not still finished but here is a drabble for Find You Again. If you have any drabble ideas for Find You Again, just send it! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss:

Listen to me closely. There is no other alliance on the whole Traffic series as based as them. They did EXACTLY what they set out to do. Did they Gaslight? Oh fuck yeah. Did they Gatekeep? You better believe it. Did they Girlboss??? By the good grace of god they did!!!!!!! They are simultaneously the blueprint for every trio of mean girls in a 2000s high school movie and the most genuinely devoted alliance on the whole server. They trust and respect and love each other in ways beyond mortal comprehension. Vote them please I'm begging you.

They were an absolute powerhouse! Also also, Cleo finding herself a group of people who were properly loyal to her after being betrayed for the healing arc. Scott telling them he was the boogieman and refusing to kill even if it meant going red. They're just so hhhhhh

cleo is gaslight (setting things on fire), scott is gatekeep (protecting the base), and pearl is girlboss (girlbossing).

Quite possibly the most ride or die alliance of Last Life. Consistently sharing lives, helping each other get boogey kills, refusing to hurt each other… they were just such a feel good team up for the entire series :] and then they kicked Pearl out in double life :]

Listen they are the EPITOME of ride or die. They love each other so much during that time. Do you hear me. Dear God they are the most precious

Best faction on Last Life. Set the template for pretty much everything Scott and Cleo do together, and set us up for 5AM Pearl.

Boreal Trio:

look. look okay so youve got two battle hardened at least mildly immortal warrior brothers-in-arms slash best friends slash partners for life, and then youve got this anxious, queer wet cat of an enderman who lives in their shed. oooh my god this is gonna be so incoherent im so sorry. ranboo was doing soooo awful when doomsday happened and both techno and phil immediately went him. that one. he needs to be safe and supported and away from all of this he should come with us. only if he wants to. and he did want to!! he was soo anxious but he got more confident!! none of them are great at expressing their feelings verbally (techno is but he also does other things) so they do it in other ways! phil rushing over as soon as he hears ranboo CLOSE to water because he knows it hurts him! techno moving the prison break up from 'some time soon i guess' to 'now now we are leaving now we are doing this RIGHT NOW' as SOON as ranboo gets detained!! avenging his ghost, throwing any and all hesitation about tubbo away to work with him because that was what ranboo wanted, that was what he asked. always checking in and making sure he was okay. all three of them are soooo dysfunctional but i love them so much. think of the mansion raid streams!! techno and ranboo off adventuring, phil taking care of the animals and getting up at 3am real time to trigger their stasis chambers!! they care about each other all so fucking much and they are a family! please vote for them i will be very sad otherwise :(

[vaspider]

Pete Buttigieg is not the fucking point.

Truly amazed at the people whose big takeaway from that thread is "you hate Pete Buttigieg" like buddy did you not... read... all of it?

I genuinely don't give a shit about Pete himself. If you think this is about Democratic self-devouring or whatever the fuck, please mentally substitute Ellen or George Takei or Rachel Maddow or your favorite Other Respectable Gay. I hear some dude named Rubin is even a conservative who is getting turned on for adopting a baby? I don't know who he is and I don't care (do not tell me, I do not care) but if it makes you feel better, substitute any of those names.

I think the ones that actually make me sad are the people who keep insisting that 70% of people support gay marriage, and that I'm just 'acting out my trauma', and we won't see things turn against us, we're perfectly safe now, how dare I say that cishets won't put themselves out for us when it counts, it's different now.

Honey, 99% of people want tomorrow to go on pretty much like today, and what they'll support when it doesn't cost them anything has nothing to do with what they'll support when it does. Those of us telling you 'we were abandoned before, and we were the ones who took care of us then' aren't telling you because we're incorrigibly bitter misanthropes. I am annoyingly hopeful, actually, and in love with humanity and the beauty of life. Seriously, I have to write poems about it because I love the universe and all of humanity so fucking much. One of the things I love about humanity is its fragility and its uncertainty. I love the ways in which we fail.

And humans, over and over again, turn our eyes away from tragedy.

If you are lucky enough to have cishet friends and family who will put themselves out for you when it really matters, that is fucking fantastic. That's not nearly universal, and I'm afraid that you're going to find out sooner rather than later that it's far less universal for you than you'd like to believe.

At the end of the day, you can believe me or not about all of this. You can say that I'm just a bitter old transfag, an angry old dyke, a traumatized old queer if it lets you sleep better at night, if it allows you to just close your eyes and say 'this is all going to be fine, because 70% of people support marriage equality!' and get some rest. I can't make you pay attention.

And the thing is? I'd love to be wrong. I would absolutely love for every cishet who has ever said "one of them" or said "well, I mean, I just don't want to see it, they can do whatever they want in private" or whatever to turn out to be the raddest fucking ally the world has ever seen. I know it can happen! My in-laws went from being Baptist homophobes to getting weekly chatty update phone calls from the two trans women refugees from Latin America who they housed and helped get their papers sorted and who are now living in New York and call them Mom and Dad. Like, truly, it can fucking happen!

But you can't count on that from the vast majority of people, because when it comes down to it, most people want tomorrow to go on pretty much like today. You're much more likely to be able to count on someone with a dog in the hunt.

More than that, though, the point of that essay -- which, when people miss it, they miss it so hard that it feels deliberate, honestly -- is that all of our bullshit infighting doesn't mean dick. I've been saying that for years, begging people to think inclusively about our community, begging people to stop all the bullshit infighting because I could see this shit fucking coming, you didn't need to be Cassandra to see it coming but sometimes I felt like I was screaming until my throat was horse, the fucking tsunami is coming, it's coming, motherfuckers, can't you see the way the water is pulling back?

And here we are, and all the arguing about whether bi lesbians are "valid" doesn't matter, and everyone's attempt to gatekeep butch and femme doesn't matter, and everyone's arguments about whether neopronouns are bad doesn't fucking matter because we are all just fags, dykes and trannies to them, they do not care for one fucking second about any of this. None of them care for one second about our infighting. No one is going to stop and ask you what your orientation is so they can call you the right slur when they're gaybashing you, kids. They. Don't. Care.

So now here we are, and people are acting like the point of the essay is that I wanted to call one particular dude a fag, rather than that it doesn't matter how perfectly primed you are to fit into Respectable WASP Society, it is your queerness which is objectionable. It is your gayness. It is your transness. It is your bisexuality, your asexuality, your lesbianism. You will never be granted rights and respectability. You have to defend your rights, and stop giving a shit about respectability as a metric of whether or not someone deserves them.

I mean, for fuck's sake, some Iowa voters tried to withdraw their caucus support once they realized that Pete was gay. It literally fucking happened. There's video. Someone they supported above all the other candidates in the Iowa primary was immediately disqualified for them to the point where they tried to retract their support the minute they found out he was gay.

That's the fucking point. I don't care who you use as your Proxy Respectable Gay.

Pete Buttigieg is not the fucking point.

[olderthannetfic]

TL;DR: multiple people can arrive at the same fanfic idea/premise in different ways, but also, getting inspired by a different fanfic is not stealing, please don't gatekeep!

I joined a new fandom (it's Resident Evil (RE), which I'm mostly mentioning for that one 'nosy' anon because hell yeah I am super nosy as well, so here you go, dropping some names!), and I quickly stumbled upon one fandom-specific plot trope that I thought was both pretty neat but also super obvious (Infected!Character fic, which, in a world with zombies and viruses that cause zombies is a very logical trope).

Anyway, there was not quite as much body horror as I thought there would be, although I'm still looking, but that's not why I'm writing to you, that's just the (un)necessary background.

There was this one fic that I opened, which in its Author's Note clearly stated that the author set this fanfiction in another author's AU, because they loved the world created by this first author. The first fanfiction author basically came up with their own Infected!Character design and backstory (including fanart), and the second fanfiction author liked it so much they were now writing this fic based on/in that AU. Obviously not quoting the AN directly, but this second author was very complimentary and explicitly mentioned where they got the idea from, gushing about the first author.

In the AN for chapter two, the second author stated that they weren't aware that that first fanfiction author didn't allow others to write about the Infected!Character AU they'd made, that that first author in fact only allowed a very limited number of people they publicly approved of to write about their AU, and nobody else was allowed to touch the Infected!Character AU. This second author was now apologising in the AN for not knowing this, plus mentioning that they changed chapter one to switch up the backstory & design to not be too close to that of the first fanficton author's AU.

That made me sad, honestly. I've seen this attitude a couple of times, where fanfiction authors are super protective of their ideas that they won't allow any other fanfiction author to write about them, and it's always struck me as a little bit hypocritical, given the whole deal of fanfiction. Especially when the original/first fanfiction author is credited and the inspired work is clearly done because the second author loved the first fanfiction so much. If it's a highly developed/specific and original AU (so not just any common trope), and you don't even mention the fanfic you were inspired by, then I find that rude, but just flat out not allowing people to even touch 'your' thing? C'mon!

This partially ties into my other gripe about a specific type of comments I occasionally get, which are along the lines of 'huh interesting idea where did you get it? bc/btw there is this other fic with the same idea (posted before you)'; idk if I got the tone right, but they never seem to be actually genuinely asking how I got the idea (and I always delight in telling them, not sarcastically, I genuinely love talking about this stuff, bc I get inspired by the most random things and I love love writing 'original'/new things!! I love tropes as much as anybody, I read a shitton of them, but i when I write I love coming up with new shit/plot! it's so fun!!). They just vanish after my explanation, even when I try to invite further conversation. It always feels to me like they're 'checking' that I didn't steal the idea, and it feels a bit lousy.

I mean in (larger) fandoms, it is not surprising at all that two or three or even more people arrive at the same idea, maybe even inspired by the same thing, same reading of canon, or not, varied experiences--and just because the works are similar doesn't mean that they were inspired by one another, but if they are, that's not a sin! I just want people to not take everything in bad faith, and also, to not 'disallow' others from getting inspired, especially when they do it in a very polite manner!

It's because of comments like these that I sometimes, very privately, worry that before I'll manage to post the long fic I spent months writing--because I'm one of those who wants the thing finished before I start posting--somebody else will have a similar idea, post their thing first, and then I'll look like I'm lying about not reading/stealing their idea, or just jumping on the bandwagon, which again, it's not a bad thing, actually.

And it shouldn't be like that! I shouldn't worry, and people should also be more willing to accept that authors can arrive at the same idea at (roughly) the same time & accept that explanation without side-eyeing the author, and that if an author is inspired by a different fanfic, that's not a sin either (in fact, for me it would be an honour).

None of this is new either, but that RE stuff reminded me of it again.

Oh man, this is way longer than I thought it would be. Apologies. I'm going to add a TLDR at the start.

Anyway, I'm going to finish writing an Infected!Catboy!Leon fic now and be very unsurprised if I find out that somebody else has had the same idea long before me (aside from one or two reader fic inserts with that topic that I stumbled upon on tumblr, bc that's just not my thing at all (reader insert, I mean)).

--

In college, friends of mine had a falling out over one of them "stealing" the other's fic idea.

Space pirates.

Not specific space pirates. Not a way of integrating the concept that was fandom-specific. No, just the general idea of space pirates in the same fandom.

Never have I facepalmed so hard.