#but i've had this in my drafts (and my brain) for soooo long

[deerfei]

Secrets of the Vampire’s Castle

Now also on ao3

This will probably become a series of generally smutty polyhouse oneshots. This is the only way I can cope with the nuclear bomb that was the Pain teaser trailer. I’m sure you understand

Uh if you haven’t seen the trailer then you can still read and understand this it’s just a weird au lol

First up we have Liu Xiao x Xia Fei <3 Those hands permanently rewired my brain chemistry. Help.

This was meant to be porn without plot but I can’t help myself! I love putting Xia Fei in situations. Oh well. It means you get a little extra vampire Vein, as a treat.

Word count: 4k

cw: voyeurism, choking, handjobs, mutual masturbation

No one else has seen what’s inside Liu Xiao’s private room in the castle. When Xia Fei first moved in, Liu Xiao was already settled in his private tower as comfortably as the blood red custions on Vein's lounge. Even Vein, the rightful owner of the residence, had accepted any attempt to gain entry to Liu Xiao's room as a fruitless task. He warned Xia Fei of as much, too, with immense displeasure.

“Even I am unable to break through the worst of his tricks. No one ever will.” Vein had told him.

Xia Fei was gravely offended by this, of course. Xia Fei may only be the vampire’s latest thrall, but he was far from powerless. He was more than just a bag of blood on two legs, and he was determined to prove as much. And so, Xia Fei tried time and time again to open those foreboding mahogany doors that barred entry to Liu Xiao’s tower. It was one of the more entertaining things to pass the time during Xia Fei’s new life under Vein’s possession. Not for a lack of more interesting activities, of course, but for how much Xia Fei enjoyed this petty act of rebellion.

Among the first few attempts, (which mostly consisted of poking at the keyhole and throwing various heavy items at the sturdy wood) Xia Fei had been startled as the door gave way at his slightest touch, swinging open as though left unlocked.

Xia Fei had cheered silently, congratulating himself on his guile, and crept inside, carefully shutting the door behind him.

But within, he found nothing more than a brightly lit hallway, much like the one he had just left- complete with the same stone columns, the same towering pane windows, the same red carpet running the length of the hall, even the same elegant gold chandelier, the same mahogany door- which was now locked, just as Xia Fei had left it. He had somehow ended up exactly where he started. Helplessly, he tried to push the door open once more, but, as always, it stayed shut. He eventually retreated with his tail between his legs, wondering if he had only dreamt such a thing had happened at all.

Another time Xia Fei wandered ever-so inconspicuously past Liu Xiao’s door (as he so often found excuses to do), he saw it had been left ajar. Jumping at the opportunity, Xia Fei scrambled inside without a second thought. It was only after the door clicked shut behind him, he realised his mistake. Xia Fei spun on his heel. He hadn’t touched the door at all- had he accidentally brushed past it and it swung closed? No matter. He was inside now, and this passageway appeared much closer to what he had expected to find. It was eerily dim, the only light from the distant moon, which filtered in through thin slits in the stone walls. It was too dark to see more than a few feet ahead, but there seemed to be more of the little windows that stretched along the hallway, specks of light like stars hanging in pitch black nothingness. Xia Fei could feel a cold breeze blowing outside. He crept down the hall, flinching as the ancient floorboards creaked underfoot.

The hallway stretched onward for much longer than it should. Xia Fei had no way of telling how much time had passed, but it felt like he was walking in circles, even though the hallways around him stood straight as an arrow. He looked back over his shoulder, but he could no longer see the door he had entered through. In fact, when he turned around again, he could barely tell which direction he was truly facing. Had the breeze always been blowing in from the east? He steeled himself, determined not to fall for Liu Xiao's tricks.

He continued stubornly forwards, and Xia Fei’s anxiety was quickly put to rest. The hallways finally showed signs of change. It began to slope upwards and around, as though circling the base of Liu Xiao's tower. Excited, Xia Fei raced forward. As he sprinted ahead, the spiral became narrower, until Xia Fei was running with one hand along the wall, moving forwards in what felt like a tight circle. Was the ceiling always this low? He was probably just getting dizzy. Xia Fei slowed down a little, and found he couldn’t stand up straight without his head touching the ceiling.

Xia Fei continued, headstrong and hunched over low, eventually crawling on all fours as the walls pressed in tightly around him. And there, finally, he saw a light at the end of the tunnel. A sliver of gold flowed from the crack beneath the tiny door- it was more of a hatch than anything, with the hinges affixed to the top. Xia Fei hardly cared, squirming his way through the cramped space.

Thankfully, this door was not locked, and swung forward easily when Xia Fei pressed his hand to it. It was just barely large enough for him to force his head and shoulders through, and he panicked for a moment as his hips caught on the doorframe. After a moment of struggling, he managed to slide through. He was now laying face-down on a familiar, soft red rug. Xia Fei heard a strange sound beside him, and looked up to see Vein, of all people, standing over him.

“What- how did you get in here?” Xia Fei gawked.

The vampire threw his head back in glee, only laughing harder. Xia Fei glared up at him.

“Did you have fun, puppy?” Vein snorted, wiping a tear from his eye.

“I’m not a- !” Xia Fei spat, too exasperated to finish his sentences. “I've finally made it into- I thought you said you had never-“

“If you’re not a puppy, then why did he craft a doggy-dog just for you to crawl through, hm?” Vein teased.

Xia Fei finally pulled himself to his feet, and looked back at the door he had just entered (or rather, exited) through. It was indeed little more than a cat-flap of a hatch, installed on the unmistakable wooden doors of Liu Xiao’s private quarters.

“What? But I-“ Xia Fei gasped.

“Yes,” Vein interrupted. “Trust me, I’ve been there too. But please, do continue! It is truly entertaining to watch you fail.”

With a curt bow and a twirl of his cape, Vein made his exit, as devastatingly elegant he ever was. Xia Fei glared after him, watching him disappear around the corner. Xia Fei then turned his ire toward that obnoxious, infuriating door. He kicked it before he left, for good measure.

After that humiliation, Xia Fei swore he would never try to break into Liu Xiao’s tower again. When he just happened to wander in that direction- purely out of habit- he swore that he would be more careful this time. And when he rounded the hallway to see the flicker of Liu Xiao’s tattered coat-tail drifting into his sanctum, Xia Fei threw all cation to the wind. He raced up the hallway, catching the edge of the door before it could click shut.

It wasn’t unfamiliar for Xia Fei to catch glimpses of Liu Xiao stalking about the castle. On a particularly unlucky day, Xia Fei would even be so unfortunate as to be caught by the horrid man, perhaps even subjected to a conversation with him. There was nothing in particular Liu Xiao had done to earn the thrall’s ire, of course. Liu Xiao had been nothing but curtious toward him (perhaps too much so) ever since Vein had introduced Xia Fei as the castle’s newest resident. Liu Xiao was always overflowing of a unique type of smug charm that made Xia Fei’s stomach twist. Xia Fei found himself overcome by deep loathing toward that slimy man based on instinct alone.

And so, despite his past failures, Xia Fei felt a rush of glee as he tailed Liu Xiao down the dark hallway. He had no real debt to settle with him, but Xia Fei still felt a sense rightful justice as he finally penetrated one of the many secrets Liu Xiao held. This time was different, he could tell.

This was the first time Xia Fei had actually seen Liu Xiao anywhere near this wing of the castle, despite it apparently being his place of residence. Xia Fei presumed Liu Xiao didn’t want anyone even coming close to witnessing him enter his room, lest they deduce the secret to gaining entry themself. Xia Fei felt certain he had finally caught Liu Xiao in a moment of weakness.

As well as this, there seemed to be something different about Liu Xiao himself, though this was much more difficult to deduce. Liu Xiao usually walked with an obnoxious swagger, like he carried not a single care in the world. But now, even as Xia Fei stalked behind him through pitch black darkness, he could see a strange tension through Liu Xiao’s shoulders. His pace was hurried, his footsteps heavy and echoing against the squeaky floorboards. It seemed he was in a rush toward his destination- though Xia Fei could not tell if this was a sign of eagerness, anxiety, or mere impatience.

The hallway looked much the same as Xia Fei had seen it last. Careful not to disturb the loose floorboards, Xia Fei kept to the edge of the room, leaning against the wall as he snuck onwards. By the time Xia Fei crept the end of the hall- which spanned no more than a normal length of space, this time- Liu Xiao had already disappeared through another door at its end. Xia Fei breathed a sigh of disappointment, noticing how familiar this door appeared. Prepared to find the same old hallway he had been redirected back to what felt like a hundred times over by now, Xia Fei opened the door.

But what he saw beyond it was something he never would have expected. This was indeed the true entrance to Liu Xiao’s tower, and inside it was something even stranger than Xia Fei might have imagined. There were no walls, no furnishings, no personal belongings, no hint of a collection of esoteric books and spells, as Xia Fei had imagined. In fact, there was nothing here at all. The vast space was entirely empty, save for a lush, white carpet, which spanned wall to wall. Liu Xiao was standing in the center of the room, like an actor taking his place on stage. Xia Fei gasped, and a strange scent filled his lungs. Flowers? He looked a little more closely at the carpet before him, and realised that he had been mistaken. The floor was in fact covered by thousands perfect, white blooms. Xia Fei lingered in the shadow of the doorway, careful not to make himself known.

His eyes snapped back up as a sudden movement erupted from the petals, throwing a snow-like shower white through the air. Almost a dozen red figures emerged from the ground, surrounding Liu Xiao. Xia Fei tensed, wishing to rush to his aid, to protect him from these unknown assailants. But he held himself back, still not setting a foot near those pristine white flowers. Xia Fei's instincts screamed at him not to announce his presence. And when he registered what exactly the strange sight before him was, Xia Fei was all the more glad for that decision.

Xia Fei quickly saw that these red figures meant Liu Xiao no harm. Quite the opposite, it seemed, even though one figure had its hands wrapped around Liu Xiao’s throat. From the red threads that extended from each of their limbs, puppeting their movements this way and that, Xia Fei suspected they were in fact entirely under Liu Xiao’s control. And something about the black lace that adorned each of their faces, or rather, the blank spaces where the puppet's faces would be- well, it made Xia Fei's stomach twist in a way he didn't like.

He watched in awe as they embraced Liu Xiao, holding his weight between their many hands. He lay there, aloft in their arms as comfortable as one rests in their own bed. But these puppets were far more than furniture. Soft red fabric traced along Liu Xiao’s face, ran the length of his sleeves and his pant legs, slid tenderly across his neck. Xia Fei swallowed thickly as he watched Liu Xiao lean into the touch of the many hands over his body. From this distance it was difficult to see the details of Liu Xiao’s expression, but Xia Fei knew that he had never before seen him look so calm, so at ease, so… pleasured. Something twisted in his stomach as Xia Fei realised precicely why he felt he was intruding on something private.

The red hands continued to wander along Liu Xiao’s skin. They intertwined gloved fingers with his own, holding his hand tenderly, almost romantically. They traced every curve of his face, running along his cheek, his jawline, behind his ear. One puppet gently pried Liu Xiao’s hat from his head so another could better run its fingers through his hair. And the eager hands did not stop there, slipping now below the collar of his undershirt, tracing the skin of his wrist through the slit of his sleeve, tugging at his belt buckle…

Oh, Xia Fei was really in too deep to back out now.

That familiar tightness sat hot in stomach. It was wound up like a spring, and Xia Fei shifted how he was standing in an attempt relieve some of the tension that strained in his pants. Feeling the subtle shift of fabric against his groin only worsened his problem, however. He wondered if the sensation was something similar what Liu Xiao felt as the crimson hands ghosted over his hips and thighs. The intent Xia Fei watched as one hand dragged a slow, deliberate line over a particular spot between Liu Xiao’s legs. For the first time, Liu Xiao reacted differently to the touch, squirming away from it. A quiet sound reverberated through the room. Xia Fei blushed as he realised what it was. He had never once imagined what Liu Xiao’s moans might sound like, and if he had, he never could have anticipated they would sound so breathy, so blissful, so beautiful. It made Xia Fei thirsty to hear more. And he would not be disappointed.

The puppets finally tugged Liu Xiao’s coat from his shoulders, discarding it nearby, by means of passing it between one another, like a conveyer belt. It made Xia Fei question precisely how much control Liu Xiao exercised over his puppets. Most of their movements were slow and tender, especially where they touched Liu Xiao’s skin. It was a convincing enough act that Xia Fei had nearly entirely forgotten that these figures were clearly not real people. In some places, the puppets actions were jerky, mechanical. They moved promptly and directly toward their goal, with little regard for mimicking human behaviour or motion. Xia Fei eyed the hand that was circling Liu Xiao’s throat.

But he was quickly distracted when the figures finally removed Liu Xiao’s shirt, revealing his bare skin. Xia Fei could only admire his slender form for a second before a flood of red fingers covered him once more, caressing his chest, the curve of his waist, trailing his stomach and the dark line of hair that led down along it. One pair of hands drifted there, tracing Liu Xiao’s hipbones to tease at the hem of his pants. They slid them down little by little, as more hands eagerly touched every new inch of skin revealed. Much to Xia Fei’s glee, Liu Xiao let another sound fall from his lips, a strained gasp that faded into a groan.

Unconsciously, Xia Fei’s own hands hand began to wander down his shirt, over his belt, to splay across the very top of his thighs. It was only when his thumb accidentally grazed the head of his cock through the fabric of his pants that he winced, withdrawing his hands at once with the realisation of what they were doing. He became aware of himself suddenly, how he was standing here, looming in the doorway of Liu Xiao’s private room like a shadow on the wall. It felt wrong to be enjoying this spectacle quite as much as he was. A part of Xia Fei was deeply jealous of this display, wishing it was him instead under the tender attention of all those hands. He wondered if it were possible for him to steal away one of the puppets, and leave Liu Xiao to enjoy the rest. As if Xia Fei had any chance at tearing his eyes away from this beautiful show.

Xia Fei realised that he had apparently been distracted enough to miss the rest of the strip tease. Or perhaps he wasn’t the only one feeling eager for more. Liu Xiao was now lying entirely naked in the arms of the crimson figures, save for his underwear. He squirmed as they caressed every inch of his skin uninhibited, spreading over his chest and ghosting by his nipples, drawing a line along the underside of his arms, up the length of his legs. When the fingers traced teasingly along his hips, just shy of his crotch, Liu Xiao’s hips bucked. Xia Fei gasped. Liu Xiao's body was moving instinctively, now, not unlike the jerky movements of his puppets. Every inch of him moved mindlessly toward stimulation, eagerly chasing his own pleasure.

The puppets seemed to recognise this, and responded accordingly. Their grip on him became tense, forcing his arms to remain open, his legs to further straighten and spread. Futilely, Liu Xiao strained again their restraint. Xia Fei might have felt concerned, if it wasn’t for the giddy smile plastered across Liu Xiao’s face. It was plain to see how much he was enjoying this. Xia Fei felt a twitch between his legs.

Liu Xiao eventually relaxed into the new position, allowing all tension to leave his body as he surrendered to his puppets. Finally, their hands found his underwear and tugged it away, revealing Liu Xiao’s achingly hard cock. Xia Fei practically drooled at the sight. He could see the glint of something around the tip, was he leaking already? Liu Xiao twitched once, twice, and finally one of the hands slid boldly forward. A single finger traced a long, lazy line up the underside of Liu Xiao’s length, pausing at the tip. Liu Xiao writhed with pleasure, his mouth hanging open as he began to pant openly. The crimson fingertip was stained an even darker colour where it had gathered Liu Xiao’s wetness. The hand continued to wander over his cock, tracing along its veins and circling gently with all its fingers. Liu Xiao’s legs twisted against their restraints, his knees might have buckled if he were standing. He let out a frustrated whine.

This was too much for Xia Fei. He could never have hoped to hear such a beautiful, broken sound- let alone coming from Liu Xiao’s lips, of all places. Swearing under his breath, Xia Fei unzipped the fly of his pants, and began to truly enjoy the show.

The puppet teasing Liu Xiao’s cock finally showed him mercy, gripping him properly now and stroking his cock in a steady rhythm. Liu Xiao writhed with the touch, Xia Fei was sure he could see the shimmer of drool on his chin. Liu Xiao’s eyes were squeezed shut in an almost pained expression, and he was groaning in a quiet breathy way with every exhale. Xia Fei did his best to match the puppet’s rhythm as he stroked his own cock. He bit the back of his hand, stifling a moan.

Liu Xiao suddenly grew deathly quiet, and Xia Fei felt a rush of fear. Had he been seen? His cock throbbed in his hand. Xia Fei realised he had shut his eyes at some point, and quickly looked back up at Liu Xiao. Thankfully, he was still very much preoccupied. In fact, Liu Xiao seemed even more lost in his pleasure now, to the point that he wasn’t making any sound. He struggled desperately, grinning in a mad look of glee. He had no range of motion whatsoever under the firm grip of the puppets, but still his body still thrashed helplessly under their touch.

Xia Fei realised it wasn’t only the hands around his wrists and ankles that dug into Liu Xiao’s skin- the fingers wrapped around his throat were now pressing tightly. Liu Xiao hadn’t just fallen silent from overstimulation, he had no air left in him to make any sound at all. But no, that wasn’t true either. If Xia Fei listened even closer, he could just barely hear the quiet, wet noise in the back of Liu Xiao’s throat- his body instinctively fighting to breathe. Xia Fei’s teeth sank into his hand as he tried to stay silent, for the sake of listening to that tiny, perfect noise. His hips jerked as his orgasm raced through his body, that hot, tight feeling in the base of his stomach unspooling.

By this point, Xia Fei’s eyes were screwed shut, blocking out every sensation but his own pleasure. He didn’t see how his cum fell onto the white flowers before him, the petals catching his seed like pearls of morning dew. And he didn’t see how the flowers tinted red with his presence, spreading a warning signal in a gradual flood across the room. The hands around Liu Xiao’s throat released in the same motion that he raised his head, squinting at the doorway. The red bodies around him similarly stilled. Liu Xiao finally saw the familiar figure at the edge of his room, hunched against the doorframe. Liu Xiao's chest heaved, gulping in air.

Fuck, has he been watching this entire time? Liu Xiao wondered, feeling his cock throb. That selfish brat…

Liu Xiao noted the heavy rise and fall of Xia Fei’s shoulders. He was breathing heavily, it seemed. Almost as though he had just performed some enthusiastic activity.

The crimson hands near Liu Xiao’s cock began to move once again. It didn’t take long for him to reach his own climax, the many bodies supporting Liu Xiao, keeping him in place as every muscle under his skin shivered and twitched. The red hands gathered dark stains where his seed caught on their fabric.

When Xia Fei eventually dragged his lazy eyes back open, it was to see a dark figure looming over him. He squeaked, quickly tucking his cock back into his pants and trying to run away. But he was met with a red figure blocking his way. He turned slowly to look back over at Liu Xiao, who he registered was fully clothed once more. It was probably a lot faster getting dressed with so many extra hands. He was smiling faintly, too, like a cat who had just caught a mouse.

Smug bastard. Xia Fei cursed silently.

“Did you have fun?” Liu Xiao asked, his voice a low purr.

Xia Fei glared daggers at him.

“Fuck off. I’m leaving.” Xia Fei spat.

Liu Xiao was undeterred, more than used to this behaviour. He stalked closer to Xia Fei, leaning near his ear. Xia Fei tried to back away, but red hands caught him firmly by the shoulders, holding him in place.

“So soon?" Liu Xiao murmured into his ear. "Can’t we have a little more fun?”

And as he spoke, the hands on Xia Fei relaxed, and began to drift over his body. They traced down his spine, ghosted over his hips, slid up his chest. Xia Fei stubbornly bit back a whimper.

“Fine. Whatever.” He grumbled.

Liu Xiao grinned. He pressed a brief peck to Xia Fei’s cheek before taking a step back. Xia Fei recoiled, spitting a disgusted noise.

“Oh, you didn’t seem to hate me so much a minute ago, did you?” Liu Xiao teased.

Xia Fei blushed almost as red as the hands that were now unbuttoning his shirt.

“Well. Whatever! I don’t need to like you at all to enjoy this.” Xia Fei mumbled.

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll both like this very much.” Liu Xiao purred.

[agentstarkid]

So I'm trying my hardest to be what you made Like a court jester, my smile won't fade Giving it all, rising to fall to my grave

↳ charles leclerc + savior ii - orchestral version (black veil brides)

[livelaughloveluffy]

first love - black leg sanji

a/n: this is totally not another dream scenario that i'm writing into a fic..... sorry to be posting a bit slower, i've just been trying to experiment with and improve my writing and finally felt ready to finish this draft!!

a/n: hopefully this fic was worth the wait!! just a little treat to help you guys prepare for the new year!! also in typical me fashion, this song is just soooo perfect for this fic so here you go.

nothing but fluff here 💗

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you never thought you'd reunite with black leg sanji on this tiny island buried in the corner of the grand line. but you'd recognize that fluffy blonde hair and curly brow from a hundred miles away. your feet moved beneath you before your brain could even register what was happening. and before you knew it, the two of you walked side by side, his hand gently resting of the smalls of your back as he escorted you to the beloved ship of the straw hat pirates.

•♡•

it only made sense for sanji to introduce you to the crew over a meal he prepared. the familiar sight and smell of your childhood crush in his element, assembling dinner with such elegance that his movements could be seen as a choreographed waltz, reminding you exactly who you fell in love with all those years ago.

the table was already set to precision as the crew filed in ready to enjoy the freshly made meal. taking their places to their usual seats, smiling at you as a greeting. you couldn't help but admire the people who had taken care of sanji all this time, letting him pursue his passions, and supporting him along the way.

•♡•

with his mouth full of half-chewed food, luffy mumbles out the question everyone had been wondering "so, how did you and sanji meet anyways? from the baratie?"

with a casual smile and a quick glance to sanji, you began to reply to the captain's question, "it's been so long, i might as well just tell you the truth. sanji's actually the first guy i ever had a crush on."

•♡•

when the two of you finally manage to escape the absolute chaotic freakout of the crew, sanji's nice dinner now growing cold, but not forgotten, as you gazed at the very first boy you'd ever loved. hidden away in the pantry of the kitchen, bodies only half an inch from being pressed together, awkwardly trying to avoid the rapid fire prying questions of the other straw hat pirates.

looking at the cook now, you can't help but be reminded of the version of him you fell in love with as he shyly attempts to look everywhere but at you. his arms cage you in between them as his hands press against the ledge of a shelf to keep as much distance between the two of you as possible.

"you know... it's funny you mentioned that... the whole crush thing.. well not funny but..." even in the dark, you can see the pink flush growing in sanji's cheeks as he struggles to convey his feelings. you watch as the curly-browed blonde takes a moment to calm his nerves. "you're also the first crush i ever had..."

your eyes widen in shock and disbelief. it took you longer than you'd care to admit to remember how to breathe and form sentence just to reply to his confession. all your strength is going towards not dropping to your knees, bringing your voice barely to a whisper you reply "i can't believe you liked me all this time..."

the words spill out of sanji's mouth before his brain has time to catch up. "how could i not? i've been in love with you since we met. you just seemed to glow. everyone else was so dull compared to how brightly you shined. you radiated warmth and kindness, i couldn't help but be drawn to you." you can almost feel the warmth of sanji's blush due to your closeness.

the already-small space between the two of you is almost microscopic as you stepped forward to close the gap. looking up at the beautiful blonde man in front of you, you finally found the courage to tell him everything you wished you said before you parted from the baratie all those years ago.

"sanji.. you know... the first time i saw you, i thought my dream had finally come true. when i was a little kid, my imaginary ideal partner, looked exactly like you. i thought i had wished so hard that i conjured you into reality. i was the princess and you were my prince and it sounds silly now but..."

your rambling now cut short by the sound of sanji's voice, honeyed and slightly gruff, interrupting you with a question. "...can i kiss you?"

you faintly reply "i've only waited 16 years for you to ask.."

and before you know it, sanji's soft lips finally touch yours. his slow and gentle pace was torturous, and soon to be forgotten as your carnal hunger and desire for the blonde turned his kisses ravenous and rough. your whole body seemed to be buzzing at the sensation of his touch. years of lust and adoration only adding fuel to the fire.

hehehe the end...

for now..

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a/n: there will definitely be another installment of this fic, because i'm not nearly cruel enough to leave such a juicy cliffhanger AND make this a oneshot 😌 i had sooooo much fun writing this and i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did!!

a/n: bahaha i'm in peak loser mode tonight, writing one piece fanfic in my new one piece snuggie.... and im loving it *evil laugh*

tags ♡: @twiishaa @3v37773 @irethepotato @peachycat17 @dreamcastgirl99 @sanji-soup @suga-tofu @vamphoria @hamhamhamtaro @kcch-ns @raddelusionaldive @sparkyvibes

want to join the taglist? click here!

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[seokjinsonlyone]

most to least likely to want you to make the first move

tae: the thing about taehyung is that he's a coquettte like he 100% loves to be pursued like i swear this happened irl but it always feels like i'm making it up bc i can never find the post but i think in 2020 there was a time period of like a month or two and we missed him soooo bad and then one day he randomly popped up and was like yeah i be browsing through here but i ain't say nothing bc i liked seeing y'all say y'all miss me like 😐 so yeah he loves the thrill of it all he loves the thought of having you wrapped around his finger me thinks gonna tata mic in yo face until you have no choice but to conquer him

jk: we have him on record saying "if you want me, come get me" so there's that but also okay i know jk ain't super shy no more but at the same time social settings still aren't his forte like he still has trouble figuring out when to jump into conversations and you can definitely tell when he ain't got a single thought running through his brain so i feel like you initiating will take the pressure off also this man is literally a perfectionist and a procrastinator like i feel like he been done took so long to ask u out u not even interested no more gotta strike when the iron hot with this one skskkslks

joon: he loves people he loves making connections and he loves reciprocal energy so if he's feeling you and you reach out first i think he'd love that fr like someone bold not tiptoeing around him not afraid to express what they're feeling it's gon do it for him every time

suga: i bet yoon really doesn't mind either way like he's not afraid to go and get what he wants and he appreciates people with a similar mind set

jin: i don't think he's opposed to it it's just that he needs to have you figured out before there's any forward movement and then after he figures you out he needs to figure out how he feels about it and you if it's even worth progressing forward so if you were to interrupt that process by moving before he's ready it would confuse him and he'd be very hesitant bc he doesn't wanna just outright reject you but he doesn't wanna just go for it either LOL he just needs a lil time; if he already knew how he felt about you however you making the first move would be awesome it'd save him some time and energy

hobi: he wouldn't be mad at it right but i feel like he's more traditional with it like ugh i love him so much he's such a gentleman so i feel like he'd wanna do the whole asking out pick you up for your first date at your doorstep bouquet of flowers in tow like he doesn't mind you being bold so if u wanna be an obvious flirt or whatever do yo thang but i do think he wants to take the lead

jimin: don't get me wrong i know jimin likes to be liked he likes to know that you know he knows you like him 100% but i get the feeling he likes the allure of the chase even more like you coming on to him may intrigue him for a good time but if you really want him i get the feeling that you gotta play the long game like very much give and take tease play his game until he has no choice but to give into it

a/n: luh calm post sumn breezy sumn light sksskls crazy thing about this is i've had this idea and ranking in my drafts for like a year and then this morning i scrolled past and was like huh that makes sense and then my brain kicked into gear and told me why LOL sorry i'm slow as molasses but take this snack as apology and i maybe 👀 hopefully 🙏 may have something a little more substantial before the year ends <3

[amugoffandoms]

How we feeling about that timeline convo !!!!!!! Ahhhh !!!!!

(fair warning, I am ill. So very ill. Apologies to you and main tag D: )

HI BEANS ^> hiBI YOU CAUGHT MD AF A GREAF TIME <- just woke up from being out cold for about an hour

IT'S SOOOO INTERESTING TO ME SO ILL COPY MY THOUGHTS ON IT FROM SOMEQHERE:

(For context, since the timeline came out at 4am, I was kinda awake in bed for a while without my phone near me. [Literally had my heart pounding from the yuno's birthday lol, I may be a little ill] I was awake for. A long time trying to sleep.)

Inwas thinking about this when I couldn't fucking sleep for hours but it's interesting how Yuno says she's just playing nurse, as if it's just another role to play along for a little while longer

especially how she tells Shidou to shut up lol

"Don't you fucking dare make this into an actual thing you believe I am, I'm just doing what's needed"

Me when the doctor Shidou Kirisaki projects onto others his ideal vision of them!!!! rah!! Me when Yuno hates it when people try to project an ideal version of her onto herself to make themselves feel better!! (though making himself feel better isn't particularly what happened, he was simply telling her what to do with her life and she didn't particularly enjoy it!!)

So those were my original 5 am thoughts. Once I finally sat down and read the translated timeline at about properly at about? 7 am after sleeping, I was like well awoe.

I read Doctor Bunny's tl of it, so this one is kinda about it:

Yuno: Really?

....haha, shut up.

I don't want to think about the future.

And after all, one where I'm involved in something like whether a person lives or dies... Don't make me laugh.

I've been handling Tear Drop lyrics a lot recently while drafting posts for today and these lines genuinely read as Tear Drop lyrics:

Just shut it, will you? You know it all

And

I'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in

Happy or sad? Why decide?

Where'd you get your half-baked sense of justice

this thought really only came up after some talking with other people, but that last line ah!! She doesn't want to be in charge of dealing with other people's lives in a way a nurse would, acting like a judge because she hates doing exactly that.

and finally

the "I don't want to think about the future" line hurt, okay . Sobbing holds the wall. this reads just like that, "I think I'd like to live up to around 40" question. I don't know. It's just so auejrhr to think about how 1) she's not even sure what she wants to do with her life because she wants to find something she can get absorbed in; 2) what if she really is dead? There's no future for her to look forward to; and (possibly, considering Yuno seems to be heavily depressed) 3) She doesn't think there is a reason to because what's the point?

ALSO so sorry for barely any shidou thoughts I am Yuno Kashiki brain rot forever

(though I think it's still funny that Shidou Kirisaki of all people said Yuno would be a good nurse)

[signetrings]

i'm having the worst anxiety attack i've had in a year which is so weird because i've been off meds for so long until recently?? i usually like to busy myself / occupy my mind with other things so i've been slowly tackling my drafts but i do not feel 100% about anything i've written soooo please bare with me and my brain if the quality of my replies plummet for the next few weeks 🫠

[smiley-mcdoggington]

HEYYYYY TOXIC FIDDLESTAN MY BELOVED I HAVEN'T MADE ANOTHER POST ABT THIS ONE IN A WHILE SOOOO TW REFERENCED RAPE/SA TW TOXIC RELATIONSHIP actually I think this is one of the tamest drafts I've done in a while and there's a gun

Waking up to a warm hand on his cheek was the kinda sappy crap he never saw himself doing even a year ago. It was the kinda shit saved for sappy romance books for lonely housewives, not shlubs like him. But here he was, with long, boney fingers gently playing with the hair in front of his ears - Fiddleford had mentioned him growing his sideburns out, but after Rabbi Morris accidentally set one of his on fire at Stan's and Ford's Bar Midzvah, Stan refused to risk it.

Stan peeked his eye open to see what Fiddleford was doing, barely paying attention to the weird lamp he set down on the bedside table. Then both hands were cupping either side of his face and Fiddleford, sappy fucker he was, kissed the tip of his nose. "That better, darlin?" He asked.

"Better n' what?" Stan slurred out, voice more raw than he expected, but his partner just smiled at him.

"Nothin', sugar." He said, kissing Stan softly but it tasted a bit like blood.

He broke away and noticed Fidds' split lip. Stan brought a hand up to rest his thumb next to the little cut. "What happened here?" He said, voice scraping its way out of his throat.

Fiddleford grabbed his wrist - the touch burned, but he didn't know why. "It's nothing, just - just your brother, again." He said, eyes not meeting Stan's. "You know how he is about that project of his."

The science fair project? But Ford had forgiven him. Hadn't he? That's why he'd invited him to Gravity Falls in the first place - maybe Fiddleford just meant some other project. The hand on his wrist was gentle, he didn't understand why it stung so much.

Stan hummed non-committally. "I can talk to him."

"No no no! Don't you worry a bit, sweet thing. I'm more than used to your brother." He said, hand finally leaving his wrist and going to scratch at his scalp. "Besides. Don't you just want to stay in bed this evenin'?

Stan hummed, leaning into the touch. Evening? Was it evening? Stan had always been an early riser, and he can't remember taking a nap. Where had the time gone?

It didn't really matter, though, Fiddleford was being so sweet on him - whatever he'd done to get here, he wouldn't question it.

Then Fiddleford kissed him again, and again. Then one of his hands slid down to the side of Stan's neck and he physically recoiled because the touch burned.

"Shit - I gotta, uh." Stan sat up - his shirt was ripped but at least he had a shirt. Fiddleford was looking annoyed and Stan's gut twisted - if he can't get it here he'll get it somewhere else - but his throat hurt and he must be coming down with something and that warm fuzzy feeling was gone and all that was left was the ache on his neck and he nearly tripped over one of the boxes of Fiddleford's shit he hadn't unpacked into their apartment yet and he couldn't think of a reason why he was on his feet. "Gotta. Bathroom." He said like a fucking idiot while Fiddleford sat in their bed like a normal god damn person, arms crossed and away from that weird fucking lamp he was holding earlier - but now Stan's stupid brain was screaming that it was a gun even though it had a lightbulb.

He stumbled out of the room like a fucking putz, pants falling down and walking sideways like his tiny twig of a boyfriend would chase him down if his eyes left the door too long, scrambling into the bathroom like a run-over raccoon. He slammed and locked the door and put his whole weight on the shitty hollow plywood, breath rattling out of him like he was throwing up thumbtacks.

Then he saw himself in the mirror.

His shirt was ripped in two places and covered in dirt stains, his belt was gone, there were red circles of rope burn around his wrists, he had a bruise on his cheekbone and a split on his own lip. The thing that drew most of his attention, though, was the fact that almost his entire neck was purple and black, scabs in a very obvious band around his entire neck. He couldn't even tell what he was choked with, but this sure as shit wasn't an accident. Now why the fuck couldn't he remember the fight for his life he'd probably just been in?

His brain thought of that stupid sorta-lamp-maybe-gun Fiddleford had. But Fiddleford told him about his projects, took the time to explain shit to him because he was the sweetest fucking asshole ever. So why didn't he know what the hell that thing was?

Fiddleford's lip was split. He could have been hiding other injuries under the blankets.

He said it was from Ford. Did he do this to Stan? Did he do this to Ford, too?

A knock on the door behind him made him jump like a scared fucking kid. "Stanley?" Fiddleford asked. "You okay, darlin? You been in here a while."

"Where the fuck is Stanford?" He demanded more than asked, back still against the door, voice like glass shards.

"Stanford? He's probably just in his cabin in the woods, you know he doesn't get out much."

He had to call him, so with a heavy hand he grabbed the doorknob and opened it - worst case, Fiddleford couldn't hold him down.

But when he swung the door open he saw that weird definitely-a-gun thing pointed right at him, with Fiddleford on the other end looking annoyed more than anything. Stan, like any death-fearing individual, immediately put his hands in the air.

Fiddleford looked him up and down before snorting. "Of course! How silly of me - how could you not remember when I left you in those dirty clothes. How silly a' me - Stanley, would you be a doll and strip for me? You're heavier than you look." He said like he wasn't holding a gun - was it even a gun? Fiddleford wasn't acting like he was pointing a gun at him. Either that or he was normal crazy to go with the mad scientist crazy. Stan didn't wanna find out but also he'd promised himself in Tijuana the next time someone put a gun to his head and told him to get naked he would let the gun go off.

But Fiddleford wasn't like that. He couldn't be like that, he was a ray of fucking sunshine, especially after the portal incident (what portal?) and this wasn't happening. "Fidds - listen, I dunno what's going on, I just wanna call Ford - that's all."

Fiddleford looked unamused. "Course', it's a call to Stanferd, then it's a walk down to his cabin, then it's me dragging you home because you walked around his woods with his face and got a few well-intentioned people all confused. Now strip, Stanley."

Stanley took a second to take that in. He was beat up because people thought he was Stanford. Those people were probably still out there, looking for the real one. He needed to go.

He started walking forward, eyes on the hopefully-not-a-fucking-gun, but Fiddleford just sighed.

Moving fast, Fiddleford turned the gun to a pile of empty packing boxes, firing and burning a hole through them in a flash of blue light. Stan froze.

"Darlin. Make this easier on me and strip, or I can strip you after."

Stan was gonna throw up, heaving and looking between the gun and what was left of the boxes dilapitating and burning. For a second, he really considered it, considered stripping and waiting for an opportunity to run away again, blood and jizz staining his car again, find a different country. But Fiddleford wasn't an idiot, and he said he was shooting Stan no matter what he did.

And if Stan had to pick, he'd rather die first.

His lips trembled around his grit teeth. "Go fuck yourself--" And the world

went

white.

...

Waking up to a warm hand on his cheek was the kinda sappy crap he never saw himself doing even a year ago. It was the kinda shit saved for sappy romance books for lonely housewives, not shlubs like him. But here he was, with long, boney fingers gently playing with the hair in front of his ears - Fiddleford had mentioned him growing his sideburns out, but after Rabbi Morris accidentally set one of his on fire at Stan's and Ford's Bar Midzvah, Stan refused to risk it.

[liper]

10, 24 for love to the tune of moonlight, 27, 30, and 35: how is writing making the cut going!!! (im still thinking about that last line. you can’t do this to me)

There are a couple of fandoms that I’ve entertained the thought of writing for, but inspiration hasn’t struck hard enough for me to finish anything of note (I’ve had tlc, omgcp, and haikyuu drafts floating around for yearsss). Within PJO I’ve technically written something for every ship/character that I’ve seriously wanted to explore. Whether or not I posted/finished what I wrote is a completely different question 😭

It’s hard to remember my thought process behind love to the tune of moonlight bc I feverishly wrote it all in one night, but back then I was very fixated on the films The Illusionist (2006) and Anastasia (1997)!The idea of conman in the early 20th century was lodged into my head by those movies, and I couldn’t get it out until I wrote it down. I'm fairly sure that I imagined Leo performing his magic act first, and then the quiet moments that followed with him and Piper at the piano in the empty bar eventually became the heart of the story. I originally envisioned the fic in his perspective, so Piper's pov and the theme of memory really took me by surprise!

meet me beneath the christmas tree is inspired by the singular day I was a waitress at a retirement facility for rich people, the whole "tree buddy" thing in branches is loosely based off of a buddy system they had at my first uni, the scooby plush in every scooby needs a shaggy was a real thing that i owned and mutilated as a child, and I named the dog in chips after one of my mom's childhood dogs :') a huge chunk of making the cut will be loosely based on real life experiences as well haha

I have but I have no idea how I feel about it!!! My style is very easily influenced by the things that I read/watch and I feel like that's shown up really frequently in my recent work. There have been a few times in the last five years where I read a fic that I liked in a fandom that I didn't write for and then immediately opened a document to try and capture the style with characters that I liked more. And lately I've been thinking in dialogue more than ever, mostly because I'm more immersed in the film/comics world now and I've been slowly rewiring my brain to keep my thoughts visual. It's weird and it's fun but sooo different from the flowery prose I used to know and love :')

35: how is writing making the cut going!!! (im still thinking about that last line. you can’t do this to me)

I still think about it too dw!! Idk if it's good or bad that I'm debating cutting it into 4 chapters (I'm trying soooo hard not to), but I'm still in the Frankenstein stages where I'm throwing down scenes and writing whatever comes to mind before rearranging everything into something that makes sense. If it helps, I've locked down the final scene and all of the key moments I'd like to include so far. It's supposed to be really long, so choosing what to keep/cut will take a minute, my apologies. Chapter 3 is somehow farther along so I hope that grants you peace!

fanfic/author ask game

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

what argent song would you use as a URL?

anon, i'm so sorry, this has been buried in my drafts since literally the first day of the year, january 1st, and i was actually planning to go through every single argent song, through all of the lyrics and then point out ones i liked, but then too much time passed, it got buried under a ton of other things and now i'm just like. that's too much(i do this to myself too often). so i scrolled to find it today and i'll just do a shorter answer and i'll use a bit of what i've already gone through because my old answer was partially finished. i kept forgetting and remembering and forgetting and remembering to do this and it was at times where i had 0 energy that i remembered it. and it's a very good question so like. yeah.

some of these might be taken out of the context of the song just because i'm like "those words on their own would be nice"

also excuse me if some are not correct, because for some of them i just looked at the lyrics online and i've seen soooo many wrong lyrics for other songs before

okay so. "sweep the sky" from be free would be a cute url i think.

"just keep walking" from lonely hard road would also be one i would consider

i think "a lot to say" from stepping stone would describe me perfectly. also i like "night turned to dawn" or "the words fade away". i actually like those two the most so far.

"like a stream" from chained possibly, but that just makes me think of like. instead of water, i now think of streaming media. which isn't what i would want. "like a bird as it flies"? "a rose growing wild"? (oh look, he mentioned the magical sun, like from his fly away song. i love him)

"so quiet, deserted, forgotten" from sleep won't help me, relatable.

from where are we going wrong, i would like "a new day a new hope" if that would fit, or "there must be a road"

i am the dance of ages is loaded with potential urls honestly. "heartbeat in the sand"? "ride on the rising tide"? "spray with each burning day"? "the drummer and the wine"? "cannon in the wind"? "spiral in the air"? if some of these lines aren't too long, i would definitely be looking into that song.

okay one lyric that i love but would be too long for a url is "dance with the moon and feel the stars come falling" from be glad and i just wanted to point that one out. because it's a good lyric. beautiful. also there's "breezing free as the wind" and "your world, it is dancing" and "the music in your soul" and "your smile, your voice, your freedom" and "mortalize your celebration" and "love was the summer torn from the spring"

"love is in the smile" from love. would be so cute. omg. and russ wrote that song, it's what i said about his smile before. there's love in that smile.

"i hear a distant song" from music from the spheres would be nice. or "take my mind away" that would be more accurate for me. "but i can't be afraid"? i don't know. (me reading the lyrics online and sifting through)

from keeper of the flame, "seen to stumble", also "we drank the sun" would be an interesting one. "the moment passes", "i remember remember the sunrise", "streaming ribbons of gold", "rare and perfect sadness", "waves of life", "and so i will remain", "lost in joy and wonder", THERE'S SO MANY IN THIS ONE

"please wait til then" from gonna meet my maker.

annnd those would be the options i would think about. which would involve a lot of trying one and finding that it's taken and trying alternate ways to put it and then deciding on a different one instead, etc. although i doubt some of these would be taken, actually.

HOWEVER if i was going to actually change my url, it would more than likely be something from one of russ's solo songs and that would be a whole different thing to go through. his songs have been the most helpful and impactful for me, so i'd probably go with a lyric that has changed the entire shape of my brain, as many of his solo songs have done.

but anyway. this may have taken me months to get to, but it was fun to answer!!!

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

<3 Ooohhh ok hm... honestly i do not post much fic (checked AO3 and only 18), for the amount that i start writing and then leave in various stages of completion in drafts on my computer, oops. Unfortunately at least 1 favorite is in that category, but here we go!

Fallout from the Fade (Dragon Age: Inquisition): Hawke is left in the fade during the events of DAI's Here Lies The Abyss, but manages to fight her way back out. However she's left to recover from the severe side effects and trauma that come along. Ok my confession here is while i have not updated this fic since 2020, i have in fact written more of it. But since i kept going so long (months... and then years...) between chapters I decided it'd be better if i just finish writing the rest myself (at least roughly) so i know how much more there is to go and can update it on a more regular schedule in the future when i start posting again. Alas i am very slow at this bc of grad school and also bc i get distracted easily and... have less motivation to work on it when not actually getting feedback as i go. So i may change my mind about this approach eventually but it's where the fic stands now.

Like Teeth Against His Heart (Dragon Age: Inquisition): After Solas wakes up from uthenera, he has many conversations with a variety of spirits over the course of DAI. Sometimes they tell him what he wants to hear, and sometimes they don't. I typically like the recent things I've written the most and this is that. It's a prose-poem style that plays with formatting, aka its kind of Weird, and weird is my favorite. I wrote it for a charity zine which also meant i had to have a Final Version rather than endlessly tweak it forever which was irritating at the time but also good for me.

Unposted, No-Finalized-Title fic, with the file jokingly named 'Sam I Am' (Mass Effect: Andromeda): pre-Andromeda and game timeline but from the perspective of your ship's AI, who also lives inside your character's brain, and in the game admits to altering your brain/body, and hello??? the game did NOT let me respond to that to the degree I desired? One of my literary obsessions is the combination of AI (the sci fi kind not... generative art etc) plus human augmentation... what that does to both parties sense of self, their relationships, how they view and function in the world, etc. In the vein of Silently And Very Fast by Cat Valente, Imperial Radch by Ann Lecke, Murderbot by Martha Wells... and I spent soooo much time wishing Andromeda had gone deeper into that angle/thinking about it myself I wrote. Quite a long fic about it. But i only played the game once and there wasn't much fan love/fanworks for it so I never posted it or any other Andromeda stuff I wrote, it was more just for myself. I'd like to go back and finish this fic but I estimate it'd be in the 40-70k word range and i'd need to replay the game to refresh my memory so it's like, a project for when i have a bunch of free time at some point in the future, since it's mostly just for Me.

the people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this, you keep them alive (Mass Effect trilogy): Snippets of a variety of Garrus' thoughts and memories of Shepard, and a growing realization about the nature of love like theirs. I don't expect anyone to love this one but me, because it's just a self-indulgent thing I wrote specifically to figure out the flavor of grief involved in the relationship between my personal Shepard and Garrus. It's not as poem-formatted as my Solavellan one but the prose leans hard in that direction, and they came from the same place for me. I wrote it after finishing the trilogy because I (unlike a lot of fans, i know) felt very adamant that the correct ending for my Shepard is that she is dead now, and not coming back, and needed to cry some more about that.

like the leaves after a long winter (Dragon Age II): It's the first Christmas/Satinalia since Leandra's death, and Hawke is not in the mood for festivities -- until she realizes that everyone else will be spending it alone and finds herself hosting a party without even meaning to. I'll be honest #5 spot was kind of a toss up between this one, Less A Man Than A Wild Cat, and Grief. But I've decided on this one because 1. it covers my favorite thing to write about aka grief, but is actually written as a story/proper narrative unlike others i've already put on this list. With fanfic the most important thing to me before anything else is self-indulgence. While I love writing for prompts (like this one was!), my specific joy in that is taking an idea from someone else and figuring out how to cram all the things I care about into someone else's plot summary. Fanfic for me is like... it feels weird to call it 'writing exercises' because that implies i don't care about the final project when i very much do. Writing challenges? Maybe? Idk i just really enjoy having limitations to work within. Having NO boundaries is where I do my original content writing, so writing within the bounds of an existing franchise already means there's some limits (like keeping to characterizations, plot, etc) and then adding more on top makes it a fun experience and keeps me engaged.

While these are my top 5, I definitely don't think most of them are what other people would pick as a favorite from my (admittedly very limited) amount of posted writing, Fallout from the Fade being the exception. I think my friends probably like the one where I turned Fenris into a cat best (and that was VERY fun it's just also more lighthearted which i struggle to write sooooo bad), and then every one else is in my inbox about the single Solas x F!Travelyan fic I wrote largely as an experiment in writing sex scenes. sorry to everyone who read that and then tried to read my other fics and discovered its mostly blood and loss and Yearning...

[specialgradefckr]

Heyyo! I'm usually just a lurker, but your Heatwave series has been absolutely incredible and I had to write in. I'm not usually an ABO fan, but you are rapidly changing my mind. Started with the Yuuta/Rika piece and loved your characterization of that sad eyed dude. Sweet and mostly passive while also being fully aware of reader-chan's BS.

Day 4 tho??? 🥵🔥🥵 I'm a more recent Gojo convert and oh my stars, "...you think for a moment he sounds like a dog toy. You think you want to make him your dog toy." Arrogant, but also whiney and pathetic Gojo really hits for me. The Pining? Phenomenal.

Just wanted to gas you up a bit and let you know what an excellent writer you are. Totally looking forward to the rest of the Heatwave series and whatever else your big brain cooks up in the future! 😊

wanted to gas you up a bit

awwhhhhHHh THANK YOUUUU 🥺 i super appreciate it!!!

honestly i started this blog recently and i've been trying not to compare the numbers but sometimes i get discouraged, you know? like, i AM doing it for the art (i knew day 3 was not gonna get a lot of love) but i'm posting it bc it makes me happy to see people enjoying it.

it's super encouraging to hear from you (and all the others who leave comments or reblog etc.) that my work is doing well.

i'm trying to be more critical of my own writing, fix things i don't like about it, and sometimes i need a reminder that it's still worthwhile and enjoyable to read even when i feel like it could have been better.

I've been writing like? All 10 of the Heatwave prompts concurrently, and while it means I have all of them drafted and partly written rn, it also means I switch between them a lot.

Inevitably I start to kinda. Lose the plot sometimes of a scene I'm trying to write skdfhglsdhg like the intro to the Yuta fic was SOOOO long actually and it was rambling about social phenomena with alphas, basically the omegaverse version of red pill dudes LMAOOO

and that was also supposed to lead in to like. the idea of what a REAL alpha is. the non-gendered values of leadership, protectiveness, and actually being sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of people around them (a crucial trait for someone in a leadership position).

and yuta fits those things SO WELL. he is CONSTANTLY worried about the people around them, how they feel and what they think. he admires the shit out of his classmates who like, tried to attack him when they first met fghskjdfgh. he wants to protect them but he never looks down on them.

later in the manga we see that yuta's consideration and empathy isn't just for his classmates. he cares a lot even for people who are very capable of protecting themselves - he cares about their feelings.

so i just knew like. yuta and tsundere reader. yuta who can see though your fussiness because he's always been perceptive.

yuta who thinks you're hot bc he has a constant boner for strong women but also has a deep yearning to see you be honest and vulnerable with him, and goes feral for it.

yuta who you can be vulnerable with because you know him and his gentle smile, his kind words, how he looks up to you even though he's a special grade and stronger than you'll ever be,, hhhh....

but yeah anyways. *grasps you and shakes you by the shoulder* GOJO. GOJO SATORU BEING HIS PATHETIC NEEDY SELF. GOJO BEING YOUR SQUEAKY TOY AND LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT -

tmi but "fuck me until i sound like a dog toy" is actually something a previous partner said to me??? i've never been much of a top but hearing that just kinda had me... hsdfgjhdsg HHHHHH

i think a major part of gojo's appeal is how he can be arrogant and pretty AND sultry all at once. there's something utterly delicious about a slutty confident man who is also crying screaming throwing up for you to let him put it in you skdhflsdhg

next heatwave fic is sdkfgsdlhgshg uhhhHHhh different from the ones you have read, it's a yandere piece with gojo and geto.

After that it's another gojo piece i think you'll REALLY like >.> masochist!gojo is a favorite headcanon of mine and i was actually super hyped writing some of the smut there so far hehe.

glad you've enjoyed so far! more to come for sure ;)

[merakiui]

ohhhh i love hearing abt ur process!

Btw do you live in a dorm or at home? And if you do live in a dorm, how do you deal with noise and outside stressors? When you have writer's block or you write something and it just doesnt 'fit' to you, what do you do from there? Is there ever a time you wrote and regretted going the route you went when there were multiple options during brain storming? How do you choose a character when you have a really delish prompt that fits for soooo many people? Have you ever given writing a break? How do you keep from having fandom burnout or losing interest in a fandom? How long does it take for you to write your daily asks/concepts (as opposed to your longer fics)? Do you use bullet points or do you prefer to write a hard draft that is more like the finished piece? Aaaand last but not least, what is your editing process like?

Omg omg thank you for so many questions aaaaaaa!!! >w< I'm happy you like to hear about my process!

Do I live in a dorm or at home? How do I deal with noise and outside stressors?

I live in a dorm. Noise and outside stressors don't bother me much. I have learned to tune such things out and coexist with it. I actually don't mind it; sometimes noise is comfortable. But for things like studying which require silence and focus, I often go to the library. :D I'll write there if I've finished everything on my academic schedule.

When I have writer's block or write something that doesn't "fit," where do I go from there?

I leave the scene as it is and move to another one so that I can come back and try again at a later date. Or I'll read through it and attempt to find where the "disconnect" starts so that I can either rework the scene, cut parts out, or trash it altogether. If I'm very desperate and attached to the scene, I'll write it to finishing even if it doesn't fit at first and then go back to review and revise it. And if I have writer's block with an overall piece, I'll write something else to give myself a break so that I can return to the wip with a fresh, motivated mind.

Is there a time in which I wrote something and regretted the route it went when there were multiple options?

Aaaa hmmm,,,, it's not fandom fanfiction, but in a work I wrote for my ocs I killed one of them off and I do regret it a little because her character wasn't explored as much before her death. >_< if I ever write more for that work, I would like to provide more insight into her life and what she was like through the eyes of the characters who knew her.

How do I choose a character when I have a really delish prompt that can fit many others?

I think about character dynamics, chemistry, themes, setting, and much more when deciding who to use for a concept. I tend to default to Scaramouche and Octavinelle when writing just because I'm so in love with them, but for plots like alpha!Vil with an omega!reader (which was originally an idea I had for Floyd, but I put Vil in the concept because it's much more delicious) I think about how it might work if taken a certain way with [insert character here] as opposed to another way with [insert character here]. The time loop concept was something I initially wanted to explore with Jade because he's calculating and ruthless, but then I thought it would be much better suited to a character like Rook for reasons that I won't list due to fic spoilers hehe.

Have I ever given writing a break?

I don't think I have done so before. :o the idea of it feels unimaginable because writing is such a treasured hobby of mine.

How do I prevent fandom burnout/losing interest in a fandom?

For me, it's a matter of enjoying the fandom at your own pace. I'm still completing book six in twst and I have yet to do Scaramouche's story quest in genshin (although I'm stalling because I still don't know what to name him T_T). Don't feel pressured to keep up with everything in your fandom circle. Also, taking breaks and indulging in other hobbies/interests helps me to avoid burnout or losing interest. And talking about the fandom with others can also help to keep your interest. It's always very fun to exchange thoughts and brain rot with others!!

How long does it take to write daily asks/concepts as opposed to longer fics?

Not very long! I can write a lot when I'm inspired. It also helps that the asks/concepts are like bite-sized snacks that can be enjoyed leisurely, so I just write my thoughts as they come to me.

Do I use bullet points or do I prefer to write a hard draft that is more like the finished piece?

It's a mix of both! My bullet points are often written in two ways: either they are detailed and eloquent or they are unhinged. This is one of my scene notes for tmdg (this scene has been scrapped, so it isn't a spoiler)!

As you can see, it's wildly silly. ^^;;;; but I read these notes and something activates in my brain like: I read you loud and clear, boss!!!! For the most part I try to follow my outline and the scene bullet points, but there have been many cases where I've done something different than what I originally planned because I felt it would be better.

What is my editing process like?

Lengthy. I read through the entire draft to proofread and then I take it scene by scene to look for other errors or things that I may want to revise/add at the last minute. And then I'll read through it again in its entirety to make sure everything looks good. After that, I read it again because I often feel nervous that I missed something. ^^;;; but I often view the final reading as a means of giving the fic a homemade lunch and a kiss on the cheek before I send it on its way. :D

[dynamic-k]

sighhsss... yet ANOTHER ask from me XD

This surprisingly is just one question. unless I come up with more as I write.

But when Blue and Red were looking through the public telescope, the description said something like 'thousands of IP addresses littered the sky', as well as 'wifi tunnels' etc. (I would get the quote but my internet is going to cut in like a few minutes)

Soooo... Is 'the human world' real in Super Sticks?

If so, why is Alan and Kaori still in the 'stick world'?

WAIT IS DJ HERE???

...i just thought of something.

In 'The Spark', chapter 4 is named 'Otherworldly', and there are hints of there being other worlds throughout the first 4 chapters. not sure about the 5th one, I haven't looked through it carefully

Therefore, IF there are other worlds, BOTH in Super Sticks and The Spark, CROSSOVER?!?

YOOOO- ok i need to go to sleep now. I'll think about it tomorrow and report ramble back in another ask!

Good night! :D

-R

Oh no, my plans are being predicted- /j

Okay, no, I'm kidding. XD I didn't have a crossover planned, the universes are separate. AUs!! :D Ehehehe

...But I am really glad you picked up on some Spark AU lore~~ :3 I have so SO SO MUCH to unpack there!!! ...f you ask me about it, I might go full-on essay mode with my answer- :I

[Chapter 5 of The Spark is mostly fluff, with some conversational lore that hints at future angst, but none of that alluded further to the "Otherworldly" branch of lore. :3 (I do hope you enjoy💕)]

The human world is real in Super Sticks!! I have alluded to this a few times, like how Dark was totally much better than "that Iron Man guy" he'd seen in a human movie once.

The sticks are aware there are humans, but every stick lives in the Outernet, unable to communicate with humans, unable to interact with humans, unable to prove their own existence to humans. (not like anyone wants to, though)

In Super Sticks, Alan and Kaori are just sticks and not all-powerful creators, giant humans behind a screen and whatnot. Part of the AU is also the fact that hollowheads are caused by a rare genetic in stick figures, of which the Becker family is prominent in since Alan [a hollowhead] married Kaori [another hollowhead], hence the kids are all more hollowheads and quite the unusual bunch. But, there are probably a few other random hollowheads somewhere in Stick City or in other nearby towns.

[Though, I do not personally have any plans to make up hollowhead OCs or any interactions. All I do is make the fact known that others exist, and move on with my day-]

Is DJ here? I don't think so? Maybe, but he's far off in another town? I have no clue how to write DJ!! ...Actually, wait, no I think I could pull that off, I watch enough AvG- BUT STILL! I don't have practice-

= w = Maybe some day? I'll give it a shot or something, I like exploring new things. On a good day. Maybe give me a coffee first- I haven't had one yet today, but I've been awake long enough I'm somewhat coherent for ask answering. ..Hopefully.

:3 Have good sleeperings! I shall work on the other one currently still in my inbox, and hopefully get all cleared up so I can await more asks-

Honestly, with Super Sticks somewhat being on a mini-hiatus at the moment --both due to mild writer's block on one little scene of chapter 8, and also due to a draft situation in which I can only access a certain document on my phone and still have to earn said phone back from Mom so I can continue where I left off-- ...with all that happening, these asks are really helping my brain to continue simmering the AU on a central burner in my mind stove!

Oh, Spark AU, my pride and joy, my beloved world born from a dream. That also is on a central burner. I don't often ask for asks- But uh-

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE I LOVE RAMBLING ABOUT SPARK AU-

okaybyenow, sorryformyweirdness-

[zak-shit]

march 1st 2024 9:14 pm

don't greatly feel like doing this rn, but i know I do need to.

brain is constantly racing lately. i mean constantly i really do.

the grief of losing lisa has been coming harder, i really miss her and i cant believe she is really gone. i will never forget that woman. lisa was truly my favorite person growing up. she's a real angel now.;/ Marisa Lynn just called me while I was writing the below stuff, she said new years eve was the best. I think about thanksgiving alot too, we had a all nighter, I'll never forget seeing Lisa on the back porch as the sun came up. and that was practically the last time I really saw her. Her health went downhill so quick after that.. I had the thought earlier like things just came together in a way, and that night was almost a send off for her. except nobody knew. it was really our fucking reunion., and it turned into our last night together.

tomorrow ive got to go to my brother casey's wedding ;| i haven't seen this side of my family in like nearly 5 years. i ordered something I really like to wear, something that is appropriate, but also boldly ME. It may not arrive in time, and I don't know what to wear in that situation yet, also don't know if what I already have that is appropriate is something i feel comfortable wearing/ me. :/ but its fineeeeeee this wedding will happen. i'm going to see both of my brothers tomorrow, my dads brother (he's chill) and my other niece's and nephews. just weird bc i don't know these people honestly. we have a zero on the relationship bar. idk that just makes me anxious, uncomfortable... shruggg. i just know when I have a life event I wouldn't invite them, but I feel obligated. however i do also feel immensely happy for Casey, the divorce of his first marriage im sure was extremely hard for him. i'm glad he has a great partner now, large happy family. he seems content the last few times I'd seen him. Casey is the only one I have seen in the last 5 years. My aunts funeral, fathers day like two years ago, and Marissas baby shower. He is a good guy, and he deserves to be celebrated and have who he wants to show up for him, show up. I'll also have Cece, and Marissa there to keep me company.

i feel alone. Wrote that before Marisa Lynn called me. Expecting and hoping she calls me back. Idk, its Friday night and I'm all alone, not much is stimulating to me. I don't have a hyper fixation right now, so its like I have nothing lol. makes me feel like a zombie just coasting through life. I understand why my comfort/ favorite/ go to people cant hang out tonight but idk I miss them. And I had to cancel plans with Alyssa for tomorrow bc I changed my mind on attending the wedding. Texted her asking about other days after we talked and she said she was soooo happy I was going. and nothinnnnnn. idk a little "let me seee" and then get back to me would be nice... i know shes got alot going on though. im not upset with her at all. but I miss her :( Ruby cant hang because her back is killing her :( also not upset with her at all, i see her all the time lol. but idk maybe i'm just a bit bored... I have decided to start working shows at the theatre again! maybe partly for a little stimulation. Its been so long since I've done a show! I used to think strongly that I couldnt do it because I'm not getting payed.. but I was never payed before, I always did it because I enjoyed it so much! Its something to do thats a passion of mine. also the sense of community is great and admirable. everyone who is there.. wants to be there! its not like at work where people are miserable. I applied on the website, but i think I'll draft an email to someone tonight. I wanna jump on this burst of energy for it before it goes away and I don't take it up again. plus I'd like to see how much I like it. Crazy being able to get back into hobbys. lol for so long I thought it was possible to make time for it. and hey with me being active there again, maybe it would be easier to also get Cece into it.

I also bought some adderal from Kerri, I think thats what has awoken quite a bit inside me. i really need this shit to be real human. lol especially the highted emotions. I've actually cried both yesterday and today. and its been so therapeutic. Lisa also took me to my first audition into the theatre, she sat there while I did it, she filled out the paperwork. I thank her for that. I wished I could in person because that really means alot not looking back and seeing how far that took me/ changed my life. it really did change my life. so did our pitch perfect binges. <3

my mom has been really good lately. she stopped drinking as much. like for a few weeks, maybe 2 weeks. she didnt really drink at all. shes been alot more active around the house, she said she would treat herself to it on saturdays. which is fair, thats cool. so yesterday, a thursday when I came home and I could tell she at least had a buzz going on, it instantly locked up. idk i was dissappointed, i was angry, I was sad. It triggered me for sure, because, for once I wasnt expecting it. at least on Saturdays I would expect it. I can clock when shes had a sip of alcohol better than I can clock probably anything. so she cant lie to me about it.. but also highly emotional on it because I've wanted the last few weeks to be our reality for so long, and so badly... she really seems ready to cut it down to one day a week. and I know she can do it, she just did it. she just has to stick to it. I have high hopes, thats why I didnt blow up or something about it, also because i'm smarter than that, i know time and place to be heard best. and after a drink its never there. I just mentioned it this morning. I think she had a tiny bit to drink tonight too.

currently talkin flirtin with trey <3 i want him :((

xoxo wasted a bunch of time its now 12:29 am need to try to get sleepy byeeee

[visforvengeance]

Melting like an ice cream

Requested by: no one :)

Notes: i've had this in my drafts since october. and i haven't written anything in soooo long. i love robin sm, she looks so pretty

Warnings: cursing. but i think that's it?

Robin watched as you sat with Chrissy, laughing at something she had said. In her head, she wondered what it’d be like if she was the one you were laughing at. And, then her eyes traveled down to your lips. How soft they were and the way the light bounced off of them because of the gloss you wore, the mint kind that made your lips tingle a bit when you applied it. 

Robin could look at you all day and never get tired. It had been like that for quite a while. You and Robin were friends at one point and then you started hanging out with different crowds. That’s what she tells herself to cover up the fact that she was in love with you. In reality, she was the one to push you away. She was scared, afraid that you’d think she was some kind of freak because girls made her brain fog and her knees weak. But, Robin failed to see that you felt that way too. She didn’t notice the way you stared at the back of her head in class, daydreaming. 

The bell rang and you began packing all of your things. You walked with Chrissy to class, passing Robin on the way. You gave her a smile, one that she returned. You missed the way she smiled at you. Big and bright, pearly whites beaming at you. It was a smile you never forgot. A smile you couldn’t forget if you tried. You’d do anything just to see it again. 

When you realized she was pushing you away, you tried everything in your power to hold onto her. Spending more time with her than you already did before, inviting her to places that Chrissy invited you to. Having stupid sleepovers every weekend, but it happened anyway. You didn’t know why it happened, you two were too close to just grow apart. You tried to talk about it with her, but she never gave a reason. 

Robin missed you every day. You were everywhere. She’d frown when she saw movies that she knew you’d like or when she smelled something that resembled the perfume you wore. Deep down Robin knew that you’d accept her, but her anxiety got the best of her. She just couldn’t bear the thought of you hating her. 

It’s safe to say that your friends were so fucking tired of watching you two pine after each other. When you and Chrissy would visit Family Video, Steve watched as Robin gazed at you, like some teenage boy ogling his crush. And, after you’ve chosen your movie and paid for it, Steve and Chrissy would share a look with one another. A look that said ‘we’ve got to get these idiots together or they’ll die’. 

Saturday night came around, you’d come to get your weekly movie. But, there was no Chrissy, only you. And, only Robin. Steve had gone to babysit his kids at the movies or whatever, Robin spaced out after he said she was closing up alone. You walked in, looking around. The store was empty and Robin looked so lonely. 

“No Steve?” You asked as you looked up at her. “No Chrissy?” She raised her eyebrow as she laid her eyes on you. You giggled and nodded. “Touché, Robin.” She loved the way you said her name. It sounded like some melodic song coming from you. You leaned against the counter, “anything new tonight?” She thought about the new inventory they received yesterday. “We just got a tape for Labyrinth. It has David Bowie in it,” she wiggled her eyebrows as she spoke. You playfully rolled your eyes, “I am not into him anymore. It was a phase, ok?” She snorted as she went to get the movie. 

When she returned, she began ringing it up. You thought that if you wanted to get answers from Robin, now might’ve been a great time. You hesitated before calling her name. “Robin?” She froze at the uncertainty in your voice. “Y-yeah?” You thought carefully about what you wanted to say. You didn’t want to upset her and have her shut down on you, that was the last thing you wanted. 

“Why did you push me away?” 

Her eyes widened as she looked at you. She didn’t expect you to ask that but it had to happen at some point. She pondered on if it was time she is honest with you. 

“Because my heart beats a little bit faster when I’m with you. And, I can’t help myself when I look into your eyes. And, you’re the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night and the first when I wake up in the morning.” Her thoughts were rushing into her head and they were tumbling out of her mouth even faster. She felt hot and like she could fall out at any moment. She couldn’t look at you, but she kept talking. 

“I am in love with you. And I have been for a goddamn while now.” She expected you to call her names, slap her, or do something. But, not stand there looking at her the way you are now. Like you’re finally able to breathe. Like you could just kiss her. 

And, you did kiss her. You kissed her with all the might and love you could muster. It was sloppy and your teeth clashed together but she didn’t mind. When you pulled away, she followed. Your hand caressed her cheek so softly. She leaned into your touch, desperately so. 

“Robin,” she was swooning at how you said her name. Still lightheaded from the kiss you shared, she looked at you. “I’m in love with you too, I have been for a goddamn while.” She smiled. The biggest and brightest one that you missed so much. You kissed her again, this time much softer. “So, do you want to come over and watch this movie with me? Or, we can let the movie play while we catch up.” As Robin began to stutter, you smirked, “yeah, we can do whatever you want.”

Robin wasn’t religious, but she hoped and prayed to whatever god there was that this wasn’t some daydream that she conjured up in her head as she locked up the store. When you dragged her to your car, she knew everything would be all right.

[lunarflux]

"how could i forget the feeling of falling in love with you"

hwang hyunjin x reader

genre — drama!au

for @simp-alert

suggested background music: x

note: soooo i've been in a funk for a few months. i didn't expect people to still find my fics, so i'm very grateful. this fic has been in my drafts for a week or two, and the end originally was different because it mirrored the way i wanted my situation to end. after healing some more, i realized that this is the way it should end.

It had been a while. That was really all you could think to describe the situation you and Jinyoung had been through for the past few years. While your relationship was nearly perfect, life pulled him away, and it was just a matter of time before one of you moved on first. It wasn't like you expected him to wait because, hey, if he really was as wonderful as you thought he was - who wouldn't fall in love with him?

It was the part where he fell in love that made it so much worse. It was like seeing the possibilities of you two reuniting like some cheesy romance novel just burn away and float into the air.

While you two remained friends, this was the week you were dreading.

Jinyoung was moving back, and now it was time to face the beautiful demon you'd worked so hard to forget.

Checking your makeup and hair in the mirror, you thought you'd put little effort into your looks. This wasn't a date. Let's make that perfectly clear. This was simply two friends reuniting after not seeing each other for a few years. By now, you were comfortably single and not looking for anything anymore. Relationships were exhausting, but being in love with Jinyoung was a marathon.

You walked to the bar, peeping at your phone every now and then.

And there he was on the other side of the glass. He didn't look too different. His skin was just as clear though his face looked a little slimmer. Somehow his hair still looked the same despite the time away.

Taking one step towards the door, you hesitated. Truly, he was there. But suddenly, the years of realizing that you'd let yourself wait for someone who wasn't waiting for you came flooding back like a reality check. He was here waiting for you for the first time in years. Did it really seem fair that he didn't have to wait that long?

You took two steps back. It didn't feel right anymore. The daydreams didn't seem so sweet, and your brain went into flight mode.

"Oh - " You ended up backing into someone else. "I'm so sorry!"

The stranger steadied you with both hands and a warm smile. "It's fine - are you okay? You look a little in shock."

"I'm... uh..." You took one last look past the bar patrons. Jinyoung was still there. "I'm okay."

The handsome stranger nodded. "You sure? I've had a couple of beers, so I don't mind playing therapist if you need to talk."

You held up a finger with every intention of shutting him up. "Actually. Okay, fine. Let's talk."

"Let's talk." He nodded.

"If your girlfriend broke up with you because of work and said you two might get back together in the future -"

"Move on." He hung his head back with a cackle. "Move the fuck on."

"But -"

"Okay, fine." He held up his hands in surrender. "Continue. Why didn't you move on?"

"I didn't say it was me!"

"Okay, fine - why didn't your friend move on?"

"If she broke up with you and then dated someone else, but now she's back and she wants to see you - what would you do?"

Your for-the-moment companion's smile lessened, and he placed his hand on your head, patting slowly. "I'd realize that I'm being a fool. If she really loved me, she wouldn't have made me wait. And if I was smart, I would have known that no one waits forever. Yeah, shit happens. She might have been serious. But would I really have been able to get back to loving her the way I used to knowing she gave her love to someone else while I stood here and waited?"

You pushed passed the stranger, nearly knocking him over in the process. "I'm going home."

"Hey, wait - " He grabbed your arm. "Look, I'm sorry, I can be an asshole when I drink -"

"It's not you." You took a deep breath. "You're right. I'm being stupid."

Running his hand through his hair first, he held out a friendly gesture. "Before this conversation continues, my name is Hyunjin. I'm sorry you had to see me... not at my best."

"y/n. And don't worry, this isn't exactly my best look either." You shook Hyunjin's hand.

"Do you maybe wanna go for a walk?"

**

"So are you still in love with him?" Hyunjin walked slowly beside you, sipping on a strawberry milk.

Piercing the straw through your coffee milk, you shrugged. "Maybe. I don't really know. I thought seeing him again would make things fall into place, and it wouldn't have felt like I waited so long."

"What'd you like about him?"

"He made me laugh, and I felt safe."

Hyunjin poked your cheek. "Yeah, well, a good comic and a lock can do the same thing."

You pushed him away. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. It's just hard to forget."

"What you liked about him?"

"How it felt to be so sure that I was in love with him."

Hyunjin stopped walking and sat down. The moon was full tonight, and it made your heart feel heavy. This stranger made the weight feel a little less like a burden.

"I remember that feeling." He sighed, laying his head back on the grass. "Though it's been a while, you don't really forget. It's like everything that ever stressed you out, every secret you kept under your collar - it all goes away. You're just happy."

You joined him, seeing the moonlight glistening in his eyes. "Are you a poet or something?"

"No, I'm just a romantic." He turned to face you. "I could say that right now being here with you is making me feel like I shouldn't need to drink. Or... that being here with you is making me forget about how awful my day was. How I wasn't expecting to bump into someone so beautiful yet sad."

Hyunjin's words put a bug in your throat, and you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. Turning your attention back to the moon, you just let him continue.

"You don't need to walk around with the perfect stranger to forget about him. You just need to move on."

"Easier said than done, isn't it?"

"Of course, it is. But feeling happy and feeling safe is something anyone - it's something I could give you."

You smirked. "Why - you gonna make me fall in love with you?"

Hyunjin turned one more time, his face directly above yours. His hand cupped your cheek. "Depends."

The scent of strawberry trickled down your cheeks. Hyunjin truly was the definition of a hopeless romantic. He was making your chest feel heavy and the world feel small.

"O-On what exactly."

"I'm ready to fall in love again. Are you?"