#but idk i always felt like the end of her character arc should be her finding a way to give up the power of the slayer for good

[ilsafaaust]

.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

examples of atla live action’s attempts to be more feminist and how they actually had the opposite effect and/or hurt the integrity of the show

already talked about katara and pakku. does not make sense that she did not have a master. point blank. just because something sounds empowering (ie katara saying “yes. and ur looking at her.” after zuko asked if she found a master) doesn’t mean it automatically is. there still needs to be logic and katara “being her own master” defies logic imo im sorry!

katara in general. she has no ferocity here which to be very honest i dont think is fully the writers’ fault. some of the blame goes on them but the actress for katara just delivered alllllll of her lines w the same exact mild tone. katara is overly motherly. she is bossy. she is passionate. she is nurturing. she is emotional. THERE IS POWER IN THESE THINGS!!!!! why would we take away her spark?!?!?!

i loved live action suki. however, i LOVE the line in the original when her and sokka part ways and sokka says “i treated u like a girl when i should’ve treated u like a warrior.” and suki says “i am a warrior” *kisses sokka on the cheek* “but im a girl too.” THAT LINE WAS SO PERFECT like lemme say it again there is POWER IN FEMININITY! there is no shame in that!!!!! why does this show wanna take that away so badly. at one point live action suki says something like “im not just a warrior, im a kiyoshi warrior” and before she parts ways w sokka she thanks him for showing her some of the world or something like that. which was fine but i just love the simplicity of the original. a girl can be a warrior and have a crush. why do we have to change that?

this is a small one and it doesnt REALLY matter, but i cant help but think they changed this to be more “feminist” which is just dumb. yue isnt betrothed? well she was but she broke it off? and hahn (her ex) isnt a huge dick? i mean it wasn’t the worst thing and i didnt really mind it but i was just kinda like ?????. feel like yue being betrothed tied into her sense of responsibility and foreshadowed the sacrifices she will make for her people. so. feels rly weird that they changed it. i think it was to show more women agency which is always cool. but in the original, yue finally gets her agency by becoming the moon spirit. that should be the end of her character arc. idk. a weird change that seemed unnecessary.

sokka not being sexist. honestly i think the live action did a good job at omitting this while not REALLY making it feel like something was missing. with that being said, something was still missing lol. once again, its apart of sokka’s character. i feel like everyone has already expressed their hate for this so ill just leave it at that.

i am a TAD indifferent on the women of the northern tribe joining the forces during the fight. on one hand i cant lie i smiled bc obviously i love water bending and i love women so there was definitely apart of me that was happy to see that moment. however. it was kind of giving like in endgame when theres that random shot of all the women superheroes in one frame so the movie could have a “slay queen. we are girlbosses:)” moment. like it just felt a little empty and it wasnt the feminist battlecry they thought it was. these women have been healing their whole lives. why would they be any good on the frontlines of a fight? they never learned combat skills! HOWEVER, when we see them, its mainly just them reinforcing the walls so like. that makes enough sense. im cool w that.

i know im dwelling but as we know i hold atla in the highest regards. it does a lot of things perfectly imo. and one of the things i think it does PERFECTLY is its treatment of female characters. literally the only thing i can think of that i dont like is when team azula beats the kiyoshi warriors and ty lee says something like “u are NOT prettier than us” NDBSKSJDJ like ok that was weird. but anyways. it irritates me how the live action kind of seems to have this pov that says “the original was good, but there were some ideas and plots that were outdated so we changed them to keep with the times” like they’re fixing something that was broken if that makes sense. when in actuality, i think atla’s representation of women is perfect and timeless. it was relevant and powerful in 2005, and it is equally as relevant and powerful in 2024. there was nothing about its feminist themes that needed to be “fixed” or “updated”.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 154 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 11

Aqua Hoshigan Status: (Still) white

man

This is one of those chapters where, technically speaking, I should probably be tearing it to bits (AND I DEFINITELY WILL) - it represents a pretty substantial break in or retcon to the series continuity as it's been presented to us thus far and the actions of certain characters in the lead up to this event don't quite make sense if they've had access to some of the information that's seemingly been in their hands for a while but… would you guys forgive me if I said I didn't really care LOL. As I've said before, I'm the sort of reader who can excuse a lot of raw Plot Bullshit so long as I feel like the hearts of the characters are intact and for all its fumbles, this is a chapter I think is unerringly dedicated to the hearts of its characters. I've made no secret of the fact that Ai is and always has been my main avenue of investment in Oshi no Ko as a series and in this chapter, we uncover the final secret in her heart in particular after having the entire series thus far dedicated to laying it bare to us.

We pick up exactly where we left off last chapter with the reveal that the HKAI breakup was indeed founded on Ai's pregnancy, as a lot of us had predicted.

This, uh, does not quite line up with previous events!

From what we'd previously been told, in terms of placement in the timeline, the death of Airi and her husband happened after the twins were born and sometime in the leadup to the Dome concert, which would put it in the ballpark of Ai's 18th to 20th birthday depending on how long it was in the works for. But based on how this flashback section is structured, it seems to place their deaths before Ai even knew she was pregnant, let alone giving birth. If it was just clashing with 15YL's retelling then I could dismiss that as an element of the movie's fictionalization that we've seen and Kamiki alludes to but this also clashes with where this event was placed temporally by Ichigo, when remembering a real life event. So… What gives!!!!

Like, at the end of the day, the exact placement of Uehara's death only matters inasmuch as it needs to be before Ai gets her new apartment, since the point Ichigo is really making is that Aqua is pinning his hopes on a dead man who was dead before he could have ever contributed to Ai's murder. But placing it that far back in the timeline - before the twins were even born! - just makes Aqua's willful ignorance in relation to it come off as a lot sillier and more difficult to swallow than if it happened closer to Ai's actual date of death.

I'm also a little disappointed that we really quickly breeze past Ai revealing she's pregnant - it's not the point of the scene overall and it would be weird to go really deep into her POV in the middle of a Kamiki flashback but one of my big issues with the Movie Arc was that it ripped past anything and everything to do with Ai's pregnancy, including how she herself felt about being pregnant. Like I said in my 145 review, skipping over the parts of it we've seen makes sense but I think there's still a bunch of really fascinating potential in exploring how Ai felt when she realized she was pregnant - how did she hide it for long enough that she was almost halfway through her pregnancy and getting fucking enormous before her first checkup? How did Ichigo and Miyako react when they first got the news? There's so much juicy character and relationship work you could mine out of that but the story fails to do so. We sort of get a crumb of this in the DVD but her feelings there are all centered on the pregnancy in relation to Hikaru and even then she breezes past it so fast it's clearly not meant to be the focus of any of what she's saying and idk. For a character whose entire hook is her struggles with motherhood, familial love and all the rest of it, that's a little disappointing.

THAT SAID!!! All that makes me sound like I didn't like what went on with Ai this chapter but I actually loved it. It's so painfully in line with everything we've been told and shown about her thus far in the manga and in this chapter, we see all her strengths, weaknesses and human contradictions laid bare in a way I find incredibly rewarding and compelling.

The HKAI breakup especially is just soooooo deliciously cringe inducing. It's an echo of the argument with Nino that 15YL portrays, where Ai's good intentions, avoidant tendencies and absolute absence of tact all snowball and end up ruining one of her most important relationships. Like… I can't believe I'm about to say this about a conversation in which Ai is one of the people talking, but she really is the reasonable one here! She's right to identify that their relationship is not working, that adding babies and marriage to the mix will only make things worse - her intentions, as they always are, are good and she's making her decisions with Kamiki in mind… her delivery is just absolutely dogshit!!! GIRL, PLEASE, YOUR WORDS!!!! USE YOUR WORDS!!!!!

For all my issues with Akasaka's writing lately, I think he portrays these kinds of two sided failures of communication so well, where you can see exactly where both characters are coming from and why they are failing to get their feelings across to each other. From an outsider's POV it's clear as day that Ai views herself and her children as the burden, one she doesn't want to put on Kamiki for the sake of a girl who doesn't even know if she can love him… but is it any wonder why Kamiki took it the way he did and why his guts were so utterly wrenched out as a result?

Kamiki's attempted proposal and Ai's immediate rejection of it are really interesting with the context of 45510 in particular. Extrapolating from her talk of marriage there, she brushed him off so quickly because she simply didn't believe he was serious… and yeah, he's pretty clearly not fully cognizant of the weight of what he's trying to propose, never mind that he's meeting "let's break up" with "LET'S GET MARRIED" lol.

Also interesting to extrapolate from both 45510 and other material surrounding Ai is that, at that point in her life, she simply didn't understand what the point of marriage was. On top of her being Literally Sixteen And A Child right now, Ai is said to have come from a deeply dysfunctional home where her mother engaged in a number of equally dysfunctional relationships, at least one of whom was with a man who was creeping on Ai even as he was working up to marry her mom. It's no wonder she doesn't really take the idea of marriage seriously, but it still hurts so see her reject Kamiki so bluntly - even more bluntly in the Japanese text somehow, simply chirping 無理! (Muri!) in response, i.e, not just "no way" but telling Kamiki to his face it's impossible.

Honestly this whole breakup scene is so darkly hilarious just in terms of how bad Ai is completely beefing it. Congrats babygirl that's the worst anyone's ever done it!!!

And we finally get the "I can't love you" drop after just shy of 25 chapters of buildup…….. And honestly, it feels a little hollow.

I talked about this a little before so forgive me for repeating myself but that line - or rather, Aqua and Ruby's implied misunderstanding of it - from Ai to Hikaru was given a huge amount of weight in the story when it was first introduced. It was implied to be the lynchpin in which everything else about the HKAI romance rested only for the story to go UH WELL ACTUALLY IT'S ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT AI FORGIVES HER KILLER which is like… fine, it just feels very jarring on a reread or when trying to sew together a plot thread like this. It especially feels strange because the emphasis is placed on them not getting it right or at least that Gotanda disagrees with their interpretation, only for the manga to whip back around and not only return this line to its previous heightened importantance but also to largely not line up with what was established about this line and its place in the narrative when it was first introduced. It's just more evidence that Akasaka's plans for the Movie Arc and its resolution changed in some way during serialisation because these inconsistencies are pretty glaring.

Not just that, but like… it's hard to feel impacted by this line when we didn't even see it in the Movie Arc. In general, it's so fucking weird that so much about the main emotional resolutions going on right now revolve around Ruby's performance in the movie when most of the big emotional moments people are reacting to are happening entirely offscreen. This would already be bad even if it wasn't taking place in a manga like OnK with its increasingly frustrating habit of offscreening more and more bits of the story that are extremely important for the characters. Before this chapter I would've said that maybe we'd see some of it after the movie released but given that Kamiki's arc and the revenge play as a whole is pretty clearly wrapping here, what would even be the point of it?

Idk. It's just increasingly obvious (and just as frustrating) to me just how much of the Movie Arc was wasted time and how much of the setup that needed to happen to make what follows really land just… didn't. This chapter's resolution for Ai and Hikaru, both separately and as a couple, is still excellent, but it could have been a lot better if its foundations weren't so meager.

We also finally get concrete proof from the horse's mouth that Kamiki was the one who deliberately leaked Ai's address and……. honestly this is kind of a wet fart too lol. OnK has previously very strongly implied that "Kamiki is Ai's killer" was a red herring or that we should at least be slightly skeptical of Aqua's assertions and conclusions but… nope, he was right all along, I guess?? Alright………………………… I certainly don't believe his insistence that gosh he totes didn't think Ryosuke would go THAT far and I'm still wondering wtf the two of them were doing at the hospital the night the twins were born but like. Honestly at this point, I don't really think it matters and I care much more about emotional resolutions than I do granular plot details - and boy do we get one hell of an emotional resolution.

I haven't shouted her out yet because I was saving it for this section but fuck, man, Mengo's expression work told chapter is killer as usual but this final stretch of pages is just gutwrenching. Ai's gentle, rueful smile on the DVD contrasted with the look of shocked, dawning understanding on Kamiki's….. Jesus Christ.

And at last, we uncover the final secret hidden at the bottom of Ai's heart. The entire manga thus far has been a process of stripping away the viewer's willful ignorance with regards to Ai's humanity but the DVDs had been an oddly ominous mystery box floating around, containing some implied dark secret that would change the entire trajectory of Ai's character as we knew it… but of course, the person who tells us that is Ai herself, a girl who hates herself, thinks of herself as dirty and impure, irresponsible and incapable of love.

So is it really any surprise that her darkest secret, the thing she can only confess with her eyes shining with black stars is simply that she's a fallible human? That she was a lonely young girl, confused and hurt in her own ways and that she hurt someone she dearly cared for and wanted to take it back?

Is it a little convenient that she put all this in the DVD? Yes, absolutely, and I'll be the first to say that the DVDs existing at all are a pretty clear retcon in service of getting info onto Aqua's hands. But it's also perfectly in line with Ai's timid, avoidant methods of reaching out. It parallels both Viewpoint B and 45510 (moreso the latter) where she pours her heart out in words, waiting for others to read and understand her. In 45510 in particular, her leaving the blog post is an extremely clear and strong parallel to the DVD - love letters put into bottles and thrown to the ocean in desperate hope the person they're addressed to might find and understand them.

As Akane says, Ai is torn between secrecy and a desire to have her true self exposed, so she attempts to craft scenarios in which this must happen, even if her avoidance can only allow her to do so with indirect methods. With the blog and moreso the DVDs & their method of delivery, Ai attempts to create situations where the initiation confrontation and disclosure is out of her hands and she has no choice but to tell the truth.

Ai's entire speech here is just heartbreaking. If the start of the chapter didn't make it explicit enough, we see her here put her good intentions into words to better understand how they were misinterpreted.

This adds SUCH a fascinating additional layer to her death that has me gnashing my fucking teeth. One of the things I've talked about a lot in my Ai meta is that Ryosuke is essentially an agent or even an embodiment of the entertainment industry and the way it has exploited her - the misogyny, entitlement, purity culture and abuse that ruled her life went on to end it. With this additional detail, though, Ryosuke becomes an agent not just of the things that plagued Ai of B-Komachi, but Ai as a human, too. All her life, Ai is willfully misunderstood and mischaracterized by the people around her, assigned narratives and roles without her consent and punished for both living up to and failing to live up to them. Ai's death is the end result of a lifelong cascade of failure on the part of every system and individual that has had the opportunity and responsibility to care for her - and, as Aqua throws in his father's face, that includes Hikaru.

Hikaru's supposed understanding of Ai is not one based in empathy or love but projection and possessiveness - understanding in this context is ownership, exclusivity and frankly, arrogance. A claim to a piece of Ai that no one else knows. But as Aqua forces him to realize… Hikaru never understood Ai, even as she did her best to make herself understood. For all his arrogance of understanding Ai and the nature of their relationship, Kamiki is ultimately just the same as every other person who idolized and objectified her then discarded her when the image they'd created in their mind didn't match reality. Ai wasn't his pure and perfect soulbonded saviour - she was a lonely, broken kid like him, still struggling to understand love after a lifetime spent starved of it.

Once, Kamiki begged Ai to save him. And here, the bitter truth is laid out for all of us: the salvation Kamiki had wished for was waiting for him, reaching out with open arms and he not only desecrated it but irrevocably destroyed any path back towards it. In killing Ai, Hikaru Kamiki killed himself.

The imagery of this moment is so fucking gorgeous. The visual of Kamiki and Ai reaching out to each other, in mutual understanding at last but separated by time and death… the "what if" happy Hoshino family… Ai's words being framed as a 'love letter' that transcended time to reach Kamiki and Aqua's eyes blazing with white as tears pour down his face… Jesus fucking Christ Mengo I'm already dead!!!!!

Like I said up top, I make zero secret of the fact that I am primarily invested in Ai above everything else in the manga and the way her importance has been seemingly downplayed since the late 130s mark chapter wise has really bugged me. As such, this chapter was INSANELY cathartic for me. Not only do we get a really beautiful cap to Ai's post death arc (hopefully finally killing those dumbfuck Secretly Evil Ai theories for good) but it's done in a way that once again recenters her love and her wishes as the heart of everything. Even Aqua's revenge play is completely redefined in this context - no longer the childish, selfish and self destructive lashing out we've seen before but as a quest to both honor Ai and to punish the person arrogantly assuming ownership of her heart even as he so catastrophically misunderstands her.

This is a really fantastic end to Aqua's arc too… on paper, that is. I know for a fact that a certain genre of OnK readers are going to bitch and moan that Aqua didn't run his dad over with a 2003 Honda Civic but I really can't imagine Aqua's revenge quest going any other way unless OnK was intended to be a pure tragedy. Over and over, we have seen that Aqua's revenge is at odds with not just his happiness but with Ai's wish for him to live a full life with a bright future. It is self destructive, hurtful to the people around him and antithetical to any of them moving on and reclaiming what their futures. With the emphasis the story places on moving towards a happy future, in selfishly reclaiming your happiness even in the face of systems that seek to crush you and on honouring Ai's wishes and legacy, it would be flatly thematically incoherent for Aqua to choose killing.

The issue is not with this as Aqua's end point but with the path we've taken to get here. As was the issue with Ruby during the Movie Arc, we don't actually see any of the internal work that happened in service of this arc, just the big emotional end points of offscreen development. But it stings especially bad with Aqua when such a huge chunk of the last few arcs locked us out of his head, sharply contrasting the start of the story that lived and breathed his interiority - AND when this is more or less the capstone to his series long struggle to choose love or revenge. It's not that I dislike this as an emotional payoff for Aqua's revenge - this is more or less beat for beat what I'd expected - but that it lacks proper support from the rest of the story. In general, this chapter falls flatter than it should because all this heightened, dramatic emotion rests on arcs and setup that simply have not been shown to the reader, save for Ai.

Speaking of Ai, the info in the DVD here potentially represents a pretty major break in the continuity of Aqua's behaviour based on when we're told he had access to it but I'm willing to bite my tongue and see if that gets filled in, if only because this chapter review is already so fucking long. Let's just say that I Noticed and I sure hope Aka or his editors did too.

And finally… Oh, hey there, Ruby! Aren't you an interesting little snarl to this chapter. Or maybe "snarl" isn't quite right, but her presence here is potentially interesting either way. I'm not quite sure how to read both her expression and her presence - the expression on her face looks VERY displeased and it looks to me like she's outside the room, so is she maybe eavesdropping and not happy with what she hears? Or is she in on Aqua's talk with Kamiki here and just struggling with her emotions with regards to it all? I'm quiety hoping it's the latter, because it would confirm that Ruby DID recognize her dad in 147 and Akasaka wasn't expecting me to believe he was hitting her with the stupid stick quite that hard lol.

In either case, I'm actually excited to see what Ruby takes away from this. In the ways that AQRB has echoed the HKAI dynamic, Ruby has always been in Kamiki's shoes - the one desperate to be saved, clinging to her oshi and relying on him as her sole bastion of light in the world. So what will she think now after being faced with the logical endpoint of this wished-for codependence? When she sees how destructive and self destructive it can potentially be? Just as she saw Ai reflected in herself, will Ruby see her father in her own reflection - and if so, what will she do about it?

Break next week! So we'll be sitting pretty for two weeks to find out. Not that I actually mind this time because with a chapter like this on top of season 2 of the anime coming back today, a week without a break might have actually killed me… please, akamengo, i'm just a little guy!!!!

[fanyeline]

maybe i just have f@tt exhaustion & need a break but most of palisade has been incredibly bleak & idk if this post credits ending is going to fix that. let's take a look at where the characters started and "ended" this season

Kalvin Brnine: started unable to talk abt their feelings & with hope that millenium break could change lives. ended unable to talk abt their feelings, estranged 3 important relationships & with a death wish.

Thisbe: started w the idea that they have no freedom. ended with the realization that they have freedom, but also they have an energy thing in them that prevents them from relaxing

The Figure in Bismuth: started w wanting to break free from slavery. Ended up dead.

Phrygian: started w wanting to fight the good fight & end the war. Ended up dead.

Coriolis Sunset: started idealistic & naive. ended up grizzled, chased from planet to planet & having forcibly lost their girlfriend to a contract with a God

from my point of view, if the idea was that they wanted to make a corny, hopeful season, they picked the wrong game from the start. armor astir's pillars are practically undefeatable, that is part of the game.

secondly, the cause VS principality gameplay where the team was split into two groups didn't really work for me. it felt like it created aggression between groups, where both groups wanted to win instead of creating a collaborative story. you can hear austin struggling with this in early episodes of the game against jack & art, and eventually it felt like they just leaned into the opposition between the two groups. This is maybe "fun", but in the end it creates this feeling that there's always a losing side.

secondly part 2, the inclusion of the stellar combuster arc towards the beginning of the season felt super weird, pacing wise. i know we can't always control these things, but overall that whole arc only felt stressful, never fun or rewarding. even when brnine killed the princept, i was just kind of stressed out!

third, i'm not sure the final questlandia game was a great ending game, especially when so many of the character beats couldn't really explored in a system that's talking about kingdom level activities. Besides that, I found the choice of characters to be a little disappointing. Bringing in Levi after figure's death didn't feel like a breath of fresh air, it just felt like 'well who is this guy?'. I felt the same way about Jack's character, August Righteousness. I think either could have played a character we already had a strong connection with. What about Gucci? What about Jesset? How about Mustard Red? Keith bringing back Leap was the right choice, not only bc leap is someone we already cared about but because he's like this incredible force as a character. He is someone who generates change.

fourth, I felt the treatment of Clem as a character was absolutely ridiculous. the immediate dislike and rejection by the cast of an extremely popular character after art brought up playing her felt like it was both disrespecting art as a player and his ability to do a villain justice, and towards the listeners who have been invested in Clem's story since she was a player character in Partizan. It felt like after a certain point, Art had to give up caring about what Clem did or face backlash from the other players! In the last few kingdom episodes, art was going "I mean, whatever, I don't really care" half the time they asked him about what he felt clem would do. And I also found it to be a huge bummer to listen to the players have discourse over Clem.

There's a big difference to me over fandom discourse and players taking part in that discourse. First and foremost, Clem is a character in a story, and while their "what should we do about Clem" discussion should have revolved around how to give her a satisfying character arc, it felt more like they were trying to figure out how to wash their hands of her. I don't really understand how or why the friends soured on Clem so much, and you know what? I get being sick of a character. But having a public discussion about it was really weird, & as a fan, a total bummer to hear.

So yeah, over all I feel really burned out by this season and the decisions they've made. I think it's been a sad time. I don't think it's been fun or goofy for awhile.

Obviously as creators they have a right to do whatever they want with their art, but I can't help but find it disappointing. It feels really different to what they've put out before & I'm having a hard time enjoying this gritty, sad and stressful season.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

sorry before I go to bed I’m thinking bout the different ways Evangelion portrays csa.

asuka's (metaphorical) rape is done by a stranger. someone she doesn’t know. a literal monster. as someone who’s always prided herself on being able to fight, being able to always win, this shatters asuka, who feels such a thing makes her weak. she responds to her trauma by regressing, playing video games at her friends house and speaking to her like a young child, before shutting down entirely to the point of attempted suicide. she’s later sexually abused by shinji, taking his own trauma out on her, and while we don’t see as much of how that effects her, we see the tragedy of the cycles of abuse play out.

shinji's sexual abuse is done by a friend. he doesn’t realise it’s wrong, and misato thinks she’s helping, because he’s a boy and boys like that right? but misato not realising the harm of her actions do not make her any less harmful. there’s a lot of complicated feelings and emotions there, and it very much deals heavily with the complexities of abuse- not all abusers realise what they’re doing. not all abusers even have sexual intent (misato absolutely doesn’t see shinji in a romantic light at all, she's not attracted to him). not all victims hate their abusers, and not all victims fully realise how inappropriate their abusers actions are. yet, the abuse still has impacts- as seen with shinji's complete lack of sexual boundaries, to the point of assaulting asuka for a desperate sense of control. he recognises that it’s awful- it’s something familiar to him to a degree- but as a severely traumatised child, he lashes out and inflicts his own pain on others. which is not acceptable, obviously, but it’s tragic, and shows how abuse makes people worse.

and as for rei, she's abused by her own father. the signs are there, but they don't entirely click at first, and neither do they click to the adults who should be looking out for her. the sexual abuse she faces is overlooked even when it’s right under everyone’s noses. and when someone does put the dots together, they blame her for it. rei's abuse, like a lot of familial abuse, is either ignored or something she’s considered at fault for, despite being sheltered and groomed all her life, and, y’know, fourteen. rei's arc also focuses heavily on her conflicted feelings about her abuser, but in a different way to shinji. she, at first, idolises gendo. she's been groomed her whole life, and is incredibly isolated. what happens is normal to her, she doesn’t see it as wrong because she’s never been told it’s wrong. the idea of not having faith in gendo is alien to her. but as time goes on, she realises what happens isn’t special, it isn’t okay. by the time she dies and another version of her takes her place (the rei's share a soul, so they’re the same person even if rei iii can’t remember everything) she’s quietly furious at the idea of being a doll, and realises she can be more. when her abuser touches her, she literally tears off his hand. and she attains agency! that’s the final part of her storyline. she has agency, for the first time in her life. and she might have chose to listen to shinji on what to do, but she chose for the first time, it’s a massive step and honestly it really struck me as a beautiful ending to her character arc.

idk man. i just like how this mecha anime interrogates a sensitive subject from multiple angles and has genuinely suprisingly good depictions of even abuse that’s not recognised as abuse by most still. it’s nice! it’s refreshing. honestly, they committed to exploring abuse and never trying to apologise for it, and it’s fucking great. i'm personally not a csa victim, but i did go through sexual trauma at around the same ages of these characters, and i found myself relating a lot to their arcs around this due to that even if our experiences are pretty different. i felt aspects of how i dealt with things, especially in rei and shinji but to a degree asuka as well, and it made me feel more confident in myself. if shinji ikari can choose to live, so can I :)

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Okay I finished the BOOK

YAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYA

God I need fanfics of Molly living with Giovanni now like T-T

AHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH JUS

JU- AHHAHHSHHSHAHDJXBJBSKSJKZBSJS

Everything I ever WANTED

AND NOW THAT IVE FINISHED

My verdict on Lorelai:

I'm glad that whatever growth she may go through, Molly won't be suffering when she inevitably backtracks along the way. It'd be nice to see the two mend their relationship but it is definitely for the better that they've been separated.

I wanna see Lorelai struggle and grow but she shouldn't get anymore opportunities to hurt Molly, much less for the sake of her learning a lesson. So it's better this way imo

And now that Molly isn't there, Lorelai's gonna have to run the shop and learn her lesson through CUSTOMER SERVICE joining zuko and others in the redemption arc trend of becoming redeemed by dealing with bitchy people

I very much don't mind rotating Lorelai in my brain a lil more cuz I don't hate her. I want to bunt her across the room when she hurts Molly ofc, I will not retract my statements, but I hate HER FATHER more than her

Cuz her father has no excuse to be the way he is. I'll get back to Lorelai in a moment cause she is definitely NOT faultless, but HIM?? He enabled all of this. He never checked in with his daughters and was always so inconsiderate of them. AND HES A GROWN MAN! It's telling that Giovanni goes off on him more than he does Lorelai cause in the end, he did nothing.

Back to Lorelai, she feels like a very intentionally immature character. Immature and selfish in a way that contrasts with Molly when Molly is the actual kid. I mean, Lorelai is 17 and all but by that age you can fairly expect someone to grasp not leaving your 12 yr old sibling to suffer under responsibilities your supposed to share.

And Lorelai being immature I think is added to by her fear that she's the reason her mother died. And the grief in all that. I think it's a good enough reason to feel sympathetic for how she's spiraled into this unhealthy coping mechanism and separates her from her father when it comes to being a rotten person.

By the end of the book it still felt like she hadn't grasped WHY what she did was bad to me and I'm kinda hoping that was an intentional writing decision. The book shows how she doesn't grasp some things like what makes someone a genuinely horrible person and so for her to still not quite see how what she did was bad, feels fitting.

By the end of seemed to me like, she KNEW what she did wasnt okay because Giovanni told her off and she was confronted with the truth that, she wasn't the good guy. Yet knowing that didn't make her understand what her actions specifically caused. Despite. Molly telling her.

I want to look up shenanigans between Molly and Giovanni in fics but I also kinda want to see Naven and Lorelai's relationship with the steps she'll make to become a better person

So def a ways away from growing significantly but I like that Naven has stuck around offering his help should she accept it. I mean Giovanni did that too but Naven's role in her story hits HARD

[EDIT: God I'm embarrassed Naven only pointed out Giovanni's card he left behind, ONLY GIOVANNI reached out if she wanted to work on herself to be better BUT I STILL LIKE TO THINK SHE AND NAVEN KEPT IN CONTACT SHUSH he could like give her some tough love]

Speaking of relationships, idk about Giovanni x Lorelai

I mean I still think it could be cute, Lorelai's crushing scenes are hilarious as much as they are sad and envoke feelings of "I just want good things for Lorelai". I def don't think she deserves him rn but I do think that, since Giovanni hasn't shut down her becoming his minion in THE FUTUREE, when she learns to be good at being bad, she has a shot.

Though, it's still a little lost on me if Giovanni has figured out she has been crushing on him HARD. Like, he picked up on her cheating and bullying but did he pick up on any of the signs for her affection?? Makes me think she's gonna have a hard time in the friendzone if she became a minion. Not sure what Giovanni with a crush would look like either tho so.

I have a bit of a hard time seeing Giovanni crushing on her but I still think their dynamic is cute enough! Just dragged down by how awful she's been to everyone and HIS NUMBER 1 MINIONNN

but the more I think about it, I think it'd be great to see them as just friends. Like, getting on the level of best buds and Lorelai loses her crush on him. Both still maintaining the dynamic they had in that last fight with all the bantering cuz they are pretty similar

If they ever became romantic though. Like. Molly and Lorelai's relationship NEEDS to be healed and I think healed for a WHILE. I just can't see it working out otherwise. This would probably need to ring true if they were to become best friends too but EVEN MORE SO if they got mushy (as in the failed baking trials that would compromise 40% of the time they would hang out. Love language quality time)

Anyway

Ngl I already got my own angsty ideas for Lorelai because self hatred + not wanting to be the bad guy is such a delicious combination of traits that contradict each other yet still exist never the less

I wonder how Lorelai reacted the morning she realized Molly was gone and gone for good. I'm betting she at first believed she'd be hanging out with her friends and would be back. Then a day passes. Then another. And another. She asks her father if he's seen Molly and is reminded he doesn't care. I wonder if she confronted Naven about where Molly was, if she'd at first lash out when he doesn't tell her, and that reminds her why this happened.

She probably couldn't wallow in self pity for very long since she'd be working now, but still vry interesting how it'll play out

[nobodysdaydreams]

✨My Unhinged Visions for the TMBS Kids’ Villain Arcs: ✨

Based on this poll, and this post by @kaslynspeaks and @sophieswundergarten. They activated the brain bees, and you can blame them for this.

Warning: Insanely long post. I go through each kid individually, discuss a premise for their fall to villainy, and then I give you a hastily written scene which I did not proofread, that probably contains typos and misspellings. Some are longer than others, some end abruptly, some are a lot darker than others, but they all have happy endings so you're welcome for that at least.

I also kept it vague whether I was talking about the book or show characters so while I draw on elements from both, you can imagine most of these with either character.

Please enjoy!

I'll start with Kate Wetherall.

The Premise:

I picture her as a teenager or young adult for this. Her villain arc is pretty brief tbh, but I think that fits Kate. She'd impulsive and emotional and maybe even the most likely to go dark the quickest for those reasons, but she also has strong morals, and I don't think she'd fall very far, and I also think she might be the most likely to turn around.

Here's the scenario. The society has won, and now they've started working together to take down bad guys.

Kate loves it, but she starts getting carried away sometimes. Seeing men that are willing to hurt children the way that she was hurt sets something off in her. Sometimes she takes things too far, or acts impulsively in the heat of the moment. The others protest this, insisting that Kate only needs to use enough force to stop other criminals, not harm them.

Kate feels frustrated, not only because she feels like her friends are criticizing her, but also because this is what she's good at. She's the one who fights. Why should she hold herself back when the others can use their intellect to their full potential?

The others don't realize how much of this is connected to Kate's inner turmoil, her feelings of frustration. They simply remind her that "that's not how they do things."

But maybe it should be, thinks Kate.

Maybe it would send a message. Not just to the criminals but to the children they hurt. To let those children know that someone cared to make sure that the people who hurt them paid for what they did. So that they wouldn't feel abandoned. So that they wouldn't feel how Kate always felt.

So she works in secret. She couldn't bear another condescending lecture from her father or the others. I picture her leading a sort of vigilante circus themed squad. They're all strong and athletic, obviously, but they're also incredibly creative. Whatever a bad guy's fear is, they can use illusions, contortion, and all sorts of creepy imagery to make it come to life. To make them pay for what they did. To break them, to reduce them to nothing.

And Kate as a leader finally feels respected, valuable. For once, she isn't told to hold back her impulsiveness, her emotions, her abilities, her creativity. In fact, she's praised for her lack of restraint. And she tells herself she doesn't need to feel bad either because after all, these are the bad guys. They deserve it.

But eventually the others find out. Kate tells them there's no point in another lecture, but this time, they don't lecture. They don't even know what to say.

Because they're horrified. They're horrified that Kate could ever think that punishing people like this, criminals or not, is a suitable use of her talents. Kate reminds them that they always got to use their intelligence to their full potential whenever it suited them.

And now, the scene (picture this occurring in a circus themed lair. Idk just role with it. Brain tired):

"I was the one who was too much," Kate reminded him.

"You three were the brilliant ones. The psychic, the scholar, the genius. But me? I was just the muscle. The "creative" one. The impulsive one. The liability," she scoffed.

"My talents were only useful when they were directed by my intellectual superiors. What you wanted. What you planned. But here? Here I'm a leader, Reynie. I get results and I get justice my own way. And I'm not interested in hearing another lecture about acting impulsively, or going too far, or about how all of your know so much better than I do. So save it."

"Fine!" snapped Constance. "Then we'll spare you the lecture, if you want to skip straight to the fighting."

Kate paused, and the look of betrayal in her eyes was evident.

She thought they might be here to lecture or disapprove of her methods, but had they...had they really come here to...to...

Kate shook her head.

"I don't want to fight you. And even three against one, was all know that would hardly be a fair fight."

Sticky winced and held himself back from the overwhelming urge to nervously polish his spectacles, remembering how many times he'd watched his friend take down men (grown trained men) like it was nothing.

Constance, still bitter from Kate's deception, raised her fists.

"I'd still take those odds."

"Constance-" cautioned Reynie, but it was already too late.

"Very well," said Kate.

Her followers stepped forward to assist her, but Kate motioned for them to step back.

"Trust me," she said to them. "I appreciate the offer, but I can take handle this one on my own."

The others knew that wasn't a lie.

Kate raised her own fists and addressed the trio.

"You always thought your minds made you so much better than me, so let's see how well you can actually do without me. Good luck. You'll need it. Even if I do intend to go easy on you."

"Katie-Cat?"

Kate groaned.

"This is none of your concern."

"I should say that it is," her father replied, stepping out from the shadows to confront his daughter. "Considering I raised you better than this."

"Raised me?"

Milligan immediately realized his mistake.

"Katie-Cat, I-"

"Didn't mean to leave me?" Kate snapped. "I know Dad. I know you didn't mean to. No, you just chose a dangerous job working for a dangerous man and put your own life at risk, when you knew your child had no one else but you."

The hurt in her father's eyes made Kate regret her words, but only for a moment.

After all, it's not as if what she said wasn't true.

"I'm sorry," said Milligan earnestly, realizing perhaps for the first time how much his child was still hurting.

How much she'd been lying every time she said that she was fine. How much she'd been hiding her pain from him, from everyone.

"It wasn't fair to you. I promise, I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you."

"Really?" said Kate. "Well then. I suppose there is something you can do for me."

"Anything Katie-Cat," said Milligan softly, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Stay out of my way," Kate ordered, looking her father directly in the eyes, doing her best to look tall, strong, and intimidating.

Milligan's face hardened slightly. He knew that look. It was a look he'd seen in his daughter's eyes before, her fearsome determination, her resolve not to back down.

It was normally one of the traits that he admired most about her.

"I can't do that Katie-Cat," he replied, seriously but still with a tone of affection in his voice.

"I love you too much to let you waste your talents and potential like this."

Kate laughed.

"Of course you do," she replied, gesturing for her followers to step forward.

"It looks like I might need some help after all. But try to go easy on them," she advised her followers. "Most of them aren't trained fighters and their biggest crime is shortsightedness. Hardly worth our best or most painful efforts."

"Don't fight them," interrupted Milligan. "They don't need to fight this. Just you and me."

Kate eyed him suspiciously.

"You hurt your leg last month," she reminded him. "You're not in peak fighting condition. If this is some kind of trick-"

"It isn't," replied Milligan. "You and me. If you win, we'll let you keep your operation and leave the decision up to you. If I win, you end this."

Kate's face became thoughtful, carefully considering his offer.

"Uh Milligan," interjected Sticky. "I know that you're pretty well trained, but you were just injured, most doctors wouldn't recommend-"

"Deal," said Kate, charging forward without warning, as Milligan side stepped.

It was hard to tell who had the upper hand. Milligan was stronger and had a clear height advantage, but he was still recovering from his injury and Kate was faster, and more flexible.

They held nothing back, but still neither of them succeeded in doing much damage, mostly because the skill with which they dodged the other’s attacks was just as impressive as the fighting techniques they employed.

"Tired old man?" she asked.

"Oh believe me," said Milligan. "I haven't even started yet."

They fought for hours, until at last Kate found something else that gave her the upper hand.

Environmental knowledge.

One of the circus' tricks was a series of platforms that were triggered to fall when you stood on them for a certain amount of time. They sent the performers falling to either be caught by a fellow trapeze artist or (worst case scenario) fall into one of the safety nets.

It was simply a matter of cornering her father onto one of the platforms, and removing the bridge.

"The fall is too far, and we haven't put the net out," Kate reminded him.

"You lost. Surrender."

Milligan looked down for a moment, judging the distance, then he looked back up at his daughter.

"No," he replied.

Kate was confused.

"What do you mean no?" she asked.

"I mean no," Milligan replied. "The fight's not over until it's over. I don't surrender."

"I'm not putting the bridge back," Kate reminded him. "Whatever trick this is, I'm not falling for it. Don't be stupid."

Milligan stood firm.

So did Kate. They were both stubborn. Like father, like daughter.

The seconds ticked by.

"20 seconds," Kate reminded him.

"Milligan we'll find another way!" Sticky yelled. "Just surrender, it's not worth it."

"This is my daughter," Milligan replied. "She'll always be worth it."

Kate scoffed.

"15 seconds," she announced.

Milligan didn't respond.

Kate still waited. Her father was fast. He only needed a few seconds to make it back in time, and would no doubt run out the clock.

10 seconds.

9 seconds.

8 seconds.

Kate groaned. Of course he would play it like this.

She walked over to the bridges control panel and pressed the emergency stop button.

It wasn't working.

Kate felt as if her heart had stopped.

"It's not working," she whispered.

"Kate it's your dad!" yelled Reynie. "You won! You won okay? Just press the button, put the bridge back!"

"It's not working," she yelled, the panic rising in her voice.

4 seconds.

"DAD-" she yelled, turning to her father, the father she'd missed for so long, the father she loved, the father she didn't want to lose again.

2 seconds.

"I love you Katie-Cat."

0 seconds.

The platform dropped.

And so did Milligan.

And so did Kate, diving after her father, clinging to him tightly as if that could somehow save him.

The others surrounded them as soon as they landed.

Kate was mostly undamaged, Milligan had broken her fall.

But he wasn't moving, wasn't responding.

"Dad?" Kate whispered, tears in her eyes.

"Dad I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I-please don't go. Please. I can't lose you again."

Kate reached down and hugged her father.

"You won," she whispered. "You won okay? Just please come back. I love you."

At once, Kate felt her father sit up and wrap his arms around her, wrapping her in an embrace that even she could not escape from.

"Victory," he announced, looking down at his daughter.

"And I love you too Katie-Cat. I'm sorry for the dramatics. I assumed you'd be able to put the bridge back in time, but it's always nice to have a plan B."

"What-" said Kate, who was too relieved to see her father alive and well to be upset that she had been tricked.

"But, but the fall-"

"I've fallen before," Milligan reminded her. "From greater heights than this. You get better at falling the more you practice. Just uh...don't tell Mr. Benedict. Or Number Two. Or Rhonda...perhaps it would also be wise not to mention this to Miss. Perumal."

Kate sighed.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just got tired of your criticisms."

"We didn't mean to sound critical" said Reynie. "I'm sorry you felt that way. But you were never a liability. You're our friend, and we need you."

The others nodded.

Kate sighed again and smiled.

"I need you guys too," she admitted, as her friends joined in hugging her.

------------

And now for Constance Contraire.

The Premise:

I picture her being pretty young in this, but not too young, teen years at the most. The story here is that Constance succeeds in destroying the Whisperer and saving the day.

But this time, it leaves her mind damaged, seriously damaged. So damaged that her powers become uncontrollable and scary. Some government researchers offer to help Constance, but Mr. Benedict, suspicious of their intentions, turns them away. Nicholas vows to protect Constance, insists that they will figure out what's wrong, that they will help her, but then one day Constance ends up hurting him on accident, basically incapacitating and nearly killing him. At this point, there isn't much left to do, accepting outside help is the only option. The others promise to visit Constance and make sure she's taken care of and happy until Mr. Benedict recovers.

They never get the chance. Something goes wrong, and the story is that Constance is on the loose and dangerous, causing out of control destruction and physical harm. The police and government agents try to bring her in several times, but all end up hospitalized from the encounter. The society seeks Constance out, and they eventually find her hideout.

The Scene:

"Why are you here?" demanded Constance.

"What do you mean "why are we here?"" asked Kate.

"We're here to bring you home Connie girl."

Constance scoffed.

"Connie Girl."

They always acted like this. Like she was still a tiny defenseless child. Even though she was now older than the others had been when she'd first met them, they still acted as if they were her older siblings.

Or at least, they did with their words. But their body language sent an entirely different message. They stayed on the other side of the room, not daring to approach her, not daring to put their arms around her like they would have done before.

"You're afraid of me," she observed.

"Constance, we care about you!" Reynie protested.

"That doesn't mean you're not afraid."

Reynie didn't answer. There wasn't much he could say.

They'd all seen what she could do. And Reynie had never been a good liar.

"We just want to talk to you."

"We're talking now," observed Constance.

"Not here," said Kate. "Not in some secret lair or hideout where you've hidden yourself away."

"Where then?"

"Home. Your home."

For a moment, they can see it. The longing in Constance's eyes.

Home.

She quickly puts that aside.

"Right," she responds. "Home. Where the government will no doubt be waiting to take me away again."

"What? No!" Sticky exclaimed. "Constance, we would never let that happen! Mr. Benedict would never let that happen!"

Mr. Benedict.

She disregards the name and the emotions that come with it.

"And yet, it's happened before," she replied.

"You even let them take me.”

Her friends hung their heads and looked away at the reminder of their guilt, the unbearable weight that they would forever carry with them.

“They told you what I did to them. But do you have any idea what they did to me?” asked Constance.

“What they put me through? The things they made me do?"

"We thought they could help you Constance," said Reynie. "You were scared and in pain, and they offered help, and we wanted to help you. We didn't know...if we had known-"

"You would have stopped them?" asked Constance. "How? By asking nicely? And would you really have let me stay with you? After knowing what I could do to you?"

"We would have figured it out," Reynie insisted. "We're a family."

Constance laughed.

"Family? Gosh Reynard, you always were so childishly sentimental. It's a terrible weakness of yours"

Sticky and Kate briefly glared at Constance on their friend's behalf, but Reynie could hear the pain behind his little sister's insult.

He took a small step forward.

"Constance please-"

"Get away!" Constance barked, a hint of panic in her voice as she took a step backward.

"You know what will happen. Don't be stupid. Just leave. It's what's best for everyone. I'm a monster now. I'm only going to hurt you. And deep down, you all know it."

"Constance?"

The voice came from behind her. Constance didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

The others were immediately horrified. They'd told him not to come; he'd promised not to come, for his own safety.

But they should have known better. Nicholas would not be kept from his daughter.

"Dad?" Constance whispered weakly, then silently chastised herself for having spoken aloud.

She refused to turn around.

Nicholas still hobbled towards her. Constance could feel his mind. Still split, shattered from what she'd done to him, but slowly healing. And his emotions towards her...pain, lots of emotional pain, but no anger. No, there was something else, something far more powerful.

Love.

The others warned Mr. Benedict back, but he ignored their warnings. He wouldn't be deterred. His daughter needed him.

He limped over and knelt down, as best he could for an injured man so that he could address his child.

"Constance," he whispered. "Look at me please."

Constance turned away and shook her head.

"Please," her father whispered.

"I-I can't," she responded, a tiny tear rolling down her cheek as she squeezed her eyes shut.

Nicholas looked at her sadly, but affectionately, as if she was the most precious thing in the entire world.

And to him, she was.

"Oh...oh my dear Constance-"

"You should go," she ordered, pushing her father away.

"Go now. Or I'll hurt you again. I'll hurt them too," she threatened, but there was no malice behind her words. Only fear, fear that her threats might not be empty promises.

Nicholas ignored his daughter’s threats.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

He could feel her emotions in his mind. His daughter's power, too great and uncontrollable for her tiny body, made so much worse and so much stronger by what she'd been subjected to. Her power radiated from her mind, seeping outward and infecting every mind it came in contact with.

Nicholas let it come. In fact, he embraced it fully. The pain didn't matter. If that was the price he had to pay to keep his child safe and let her know that she was loved and forgiven, then that was a price he would gladly pay.

"Oh Constance," he whispered, as the tiny girl collapsed into a puddle of tears. "There's nothing you could do that would stop me from loving you."

--------------

Now for Sticky Washington.

This is largely inspired by @sophieswundergarten's amazing fics and posts about Sticky and his anxiety. I can't possibly link all of them, so if you're not following her and reading her fics, that's your own personal problem, and I pity you.

Sadly, I didn't write a reunion scene between him and his aunt or the Washingtons for this, because I wanted it to kind of work for the book or show versions of the character, but please know that in the full version of the fic that exists only in my brain, Sticky does reconcile with his family.

The Premise:

Sticky is older in this, an adult, maybe 20s or 30s. The story is that even after the Whisperer, after Curtain, the nightmares, the anxiety, it still haunts him. He can't get over it, but at the same time, he doesn't want to burden his friends, he can't burden them.

So he distances himself. He doesn't want to, but the voice inside him tells him that this is for the best. He would only burden them; he would only weigh them down. The others aren't sure why he's doing this, but assume it's because he wants his space and they try to respect that.

The anxiety, the fear, the flashbacks, it all gets worse. Finally, Sticky can bear it no more. So he does the unthinkable.

He builds his own version of the Whisperer. Not to control people. Just to calm his anxiety. And maybe, as the show version of Sticky says "[...] put good thoughts into people's heads. Make them feel happy." Nothing intrusive, nothing exploitive, nothing selfish. Just things like advising people to wear a seatbelt when they drive, and use dangerous equipment properly, and basically anything else that's unsafe or would make Sticky nervous. After all, what's the harm in that? He's making the world safer. And it's not like his old friends would care enough to bother with him.

But that's where he's wrong. The society detects the machine's influence, and they know it's not Curtain. They don't want to believe that it's Sticky, even when the evidence points to him. But eventually, they have no choice but to accept the truth and confront him.

The Scene:

Sticky looked up at his visitors from behind his desk. His office was nice, not extravagant or expensive, that wasn't his style, but it was neat, clean, and organized. As for Sticky himself, he was hardly the boy he was when he'd first met his friends. He was older, taller, stronger. Handsome. Confident.

Reynie told himself that he had nothing to fear. Appearances might change, but underneath it all was his friend.

"Sticky-" he began, but Sticky cut him off.

"It's Mr. Washington now," he corrected in a professional tone, trying his best not to reveal how much he'd been hurting. "Though I suppose I could allow you to call me George, for old times sake."

"Okay Mr. George," said Constance. "Having fun playing supervillain?"

Sticky frowned.

"If you came here just to criticize me, then I'll have my secretary show you out. Better her than my security," he added, glancing at Kate, who had her hand on her bucket.

"That's not why we're here," said Reynie quickly.

"Oh?" said Sticky, raising an eyebrow.

"Your family misses you," clarified Reynie, hoping to appeal to his friends' sentimentality.

"Well they have no reason to miss me. I brought them some lovely property, send plenty of checks, and cover all their medical expenses, which is all they ever wanted me for anyway," said Sticky.

"Would you ever go to visit them?" asked Reynie. "I um...I don't want to get involved in your family's personal lives. But I think they might want more than money. I think they...I think they really miss you."

And then he sees it. A sense of longing, and a yearning in Sticky's eyes.

But it vanishes almost instantly.

"I'm a busy man," Sticky reminded his friends. "I have businesses to run."

"Honest businesses?" asked Kate suspiciously.

"Yes," said Sticky, glaring at her. "You might disagree with my personal hobbies, but I assure you, I make my money fairly."

"You call brainwashing the world a hobby? Really Mr. George?" asked Constance.

Sticky sighed.

"I'm fixing the world," he lectured them. "Crime is down, addiction is down, people's rates of anxiety and depression are down-"

"Including your own no doubt," muttered Constance, but Sticky ignored her.

"-and it's all thanks to me," he finished.

Reynie looked horrified. Kate looked disgusted.

"But you're doing it without their consent!" Reynie protested. "And you don't know what the side effects could be."

"And the way you're justifying it," said Kate, "you sound exactly like-"

And then she stopped, realizing that what she was about to say would have gone too far, way too far.

But it was too late. Sticky knew what she'd been implying, and his faced morphed from a look of uncomfortable and false politeness to sudden rage.

"Like who?" Sticky snapped, and his friends jumped at the sound of his voice. It was so much louder and deeper than it had been when he was a child. It was a man's voice now, but it wasn't just the maturity or the confidence of his voice, but the anger it possessed. The harshness that had been so absent from him as a child.

Constance was the first to recover.

"You know who "Mr. George,"" she answered, glaring at her former friend.

The other two glanced at each other. What Constance was saying was cruel, especially after all that man had put Sticky through, but it was also undeniably true.

"How dare you?" whispered Sticky, the anger rising in his voice.

"How dare you compare me to him? AFTER EVERYTHING HE DID TO ME!"

Sticky rose from his desk.

His friends had never seen him look so furious.

"Sticky-" began Reynie nervously.

The others took a step backward.

Sticky's self-consciousness and compassion suddenly returned to him when he saw the fear in their eyes.

That’s the thing about anger. If you are someone who is small, short, nervous, mild mannered, someone who is perceived as “weak”, then your anger, no matter how justified, is often belittled, patronized, or dismissed as "cute", unless you can find a way to be taken seriously, to yell louder, to make yourself more threatening. Of course, the other side of this is that if you are someone who is tall, strong, loud, powerful, and intimidating, then it doesn’t take much anger to make others afraid of you, even if that’s not your intention, unless you learn to moderate your emotions and remember how threatening you look from their perspective.

For most of this life, Sticky had been on one end of this spectrum, always needing to yell louder and be more insistent to make his voice heard. Now he found himself on the other side of the spectrum. But although his height, physical appearance, and position in the world had changed, the emotion felt the same to him as it always had, and he often forgot just how frighting he could seem.

Even to those who had once called him friend.

Sticky sighed and took a deep breath.

"I'm not like him," he insisted.

"I'm not giving myself fame, money, power, or anything like that. That's the difference. When I say I'm doing this to help people, to make them feel happy, I mean it."

He looked at his friends, glancing over their faces, trying one last effort to get them to understand.

"You know me," he reminded them. "You know I wouldn't do that. I'm not doing this for power. I'm doing this for peace."

There was silence for a few moments.

"We know," said Reynie.

"We know you are Sticky. And we know you've been hurting. We should have noticed earlier, and we should have offered to help sooner. I'm sorry. But whatever your intentions are, that doesn't make this right."

Sticky didn't reply. He knew that Reynie was right; he always was.

"What do I do?" he asked, his voice suddenly sounding softer.

"Stop this," said Kate. "Turn yourself in. We'll help you, we'll- we'll get you the help you need. So you don't have to feel this way anymore."

Sticky was surprised.

His anxiety...his fears...he tried to act like it didn't bother him anymore. He didn't want to be a burden. He didn't want to drag his friends down with him.

And yet they were here, right next to him, not as adversaries, but as friends.

They didn't have to come. They didn't have to forgive him.

"You've needed help for a while," said Constance, her voice suddenly gentler and far more compassionate then even her friends were used to hearing from her.

"Haven't you George?"

Sticky didn't answer. He could feel Constance tentatively poking her way into his mind. But he didn't fight it. He sat back down and nodded silently, feeling weak and exposed, the reality of his pain revealed at last.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I thought I could deal with it on my own but I...I can't. I'm not- I'm not strong enough. That's why I needed to do this. I thought I could help not just me, but others, because the truth is I...I'm just not enough. I'm not strong enough."

His friends ran forward to hug him.

"You don't have to be dummy," said Constance.

"None of us are. That's why we have each other."

--------------

And finally, Reynie Muldoon.

Ngl, I went pretty dark for this one. He's the only one I actually gave a body count to (I know I'm sorry don't blame me blame the bees and I apologize if you think any of these are OOC I'm trying my best here. Also Reynie is older in this and there are darker themes mentioned so consider this your warning). This is based on @kaslynspeaks amazing post here and her awesome comments on my poll where she talks about the whole book conversation where Reynie can "only see snakes" so he lets himself be bitten and becomes a snake himself? Genius. 10/10. Set off the bees for sure, so thank you for that.

The Premise:

This one blends a lot of elements from the others. Like in Kate's situation, the society has won, they're fighting crime, but Reynie becomes disillusioned, though for different reasons. He's older than Kate was in her version, he's late 20s, 30s, maybe even pushing 40. It took a long time for him to get to this point.

You see, at first, Reynie is fighting for what he believes in: bringing bad guys to justice, keeping his friends on the straight and narrow, and doing what's right. But being a leader has a cost. He's always the one emotionally supporting the team, he gives more than he gets back, and that starts to take a toll. As he gets older, he encounters more bad guys, ones that make him sick to his stomach, but what's worse is the lack of people who seem to care. The politicians with empty promises, the corrupt police, the ordinary citizens who look the other way instead of helping. Nothing changes. There's always another crisis, another bad guy, another problem that needs the society, and the society needs him. So Reynie drains himself until at last he can give no more. Finally pushed to the brink by what he's seen and the sense of hopelessness and isolation he feels, he makes the decision.

He starts by cutting himself off from the society, at least professionally. They respect his decision, but are surprised by it. Once he's free of that obligation, Reynie tells his mother he's getting a new job and needs some space right now to figure himself out.

What he actually does is get involved in the criminal underworld. He tells no one of course, they'd never approve. But Reynie has learned that there is one thing that can control a snake: a bigger snake (or as the expression goes "there's always a bigger fish").

And his intelligence, knowledge of others, leadership skills, and experience with criminals quickly leads to Reynie becoming the boss of the criminal underworld (how did he do that so quickly? What is this "criminal underworld" I keep mentioning? Like. Is it a gang? The mafia? The ten men? Some random group of thieves? Idk, don't question it, just use your imagination).

Anyway, now that Reynie has control he determines what crimes happen, when they happen, and how many people get hurt. Which he views as damage control. He keeps his real occupation hidden from his mother, telling her he's involved in important government work, and it's better that she didn't ask questions. Eventually he completely cuts off ties with the rest of the society, knowing it's only a matter of time before they put together what he's done.

They do figure it out, eventually, and they're heartbroken of course. They can't believe it. Especially that Reynie, out of all of them, would ever do something so terrible. They want to confront him, but they can't find him.

Until one day they receive an anonymous coded message, tipping them off to his location.

Reynie's security team laughs when they tell them they're his friends. Their boss doesn't have any friends, and no one shows up to see him without an appointment unless they either have news that can't wait, or some kind of death wish. And he certainly never takes social calls.

Still, they let Reynie know about them. And of course he recognizes their description. Turning them away unharmed shows weakness, which his team would never accept from their leader, but Reynie doesn't want to harm his friends either.

Which gives him only one other option: to confront them. He has his security bring them to his office.

The Scene:

The men roughly shoved them into the room.

"These people came to see you boss. They said they were friends of yours."

Reynie looked up at his friends, who had just been pushed unceremoniously into his office.

"Thank you," he nodded, waving his hands to dismiss his security team.

Then he sighed.

"How did you find me?"

His friends didn't answer at first.

"That's what you want to know?" said Kate. "You're running the criminal underworld, and that's the first question you have for us? The route we used to get here?"

"Not the route. My location. How did you find me?" asked Reynie.

"Anonymous tip off. A coded message," said Constance. "Seems some of your men aren't as loyal as you thought."

Reynie looked disappointed, but shrugged.

"That's not all that uncommon in this line of work," he clarified. "Whoever it was will be dealt with accordingly. Snakes will be snakes"

"But since when are you one of them?" asked Kate.

Reynie sighed.

"I don't expect any of you to understand."

"You're right Reynie," said Sticky. "We don't understand. You were always the best of us. The one who reminded us who we were, what we stood for. How could you ever think something like this was right?"

"The best of us?" Reynie repeated disbelief.

"I was the average one, the one who wasn't special. I wasn't a genius, or a psychic, or some sort of super athlete. I was just me. I'm not special."

"So that's why you're doing this?" asked Constance. "To feel special?"

"No," said Reynie. "I'm doing this because it's inevitable. The cycle just repeats itself. We fight another bad guy, we almost fall apart, I hold us together, it takes everything out of me, I finally recover, and then we go around again. The only way to end the cycle is to become a part of it."

"Takes everything out of you?" repeated Sticky. "Reynie, we had no idea-"

"It's fine," dismissed Reynie. "Like I said, this is for the best."

"You really believe that?" asked Kate, shocked her friend could ever really think something like this was right. "You...your men...you're criminals! The worst criminals!"

"We are," agreed Reynie. "I won't deny that. But when you make yourself the king of the snakes, you decide how poisonous they are. These men follow me because they know I'm intelligent and powerful enough to let them get away with the crimes they want and have all the money and power they desire. That's a better deal than most other bosses could give them. But they also know that comes at a price, that certain things are off limits. If I hear any rumors of human trafficking or exploiting or harming children, well, then I'm sure to make an example of them. To remind them that I'm in control and that I have my standards."

"Make a example of them?" said Kate, her eyes widening.

"That...that doesn't mean what I think it means...right Reynie?" asked Sticky.

Reynie couldn't help but feel a little ashamed as he watched Constance, who had always looked up to him as her protector, her big brother, take a step away from him when she saw from his face that his words meant exactly what Sticky thought they meant.

But he didn't back down.

"They were human traffickers and people who abused children," Reynie said simply, trying his best to remain logical. "You can't say they didn't deserve it. If I wasn't running the criminal underworld, someone else would, someone who would be just as cruel, maybe worse, and would likely choose less deserving targets. It's no different than carrying out justice."

"And who made you the judge, jury and executioner?" asked Constance, crossing her arms.

"We're going to stop you," said Kate, raising her fists.

"Really?" said Reynie, his expression turning dark at his friend's declaration.

"I think you'll find that harder than you expect. You three might have been the talented ones, but I was the one who kept you together. I know you. I know how to build you up, and I know how to bring you down."

His friends looked horrified by the threat. Even worse, they looked hurt.

"I don't want it to come to that," Reynie clarified. "But it will if you stand against me. I don't want to hurt you, but trust me, I can. Worse than you can imagine. And I will. I know how it sounds, but believe me when I tell you that this is the only way."

The others were shocked by his words. Reynie cared for them; Reynie protected them.

How could he threaten them so easily? How could he have become so misguided?

Sticky thought a bit about what his friend had said, and tried one last time to reach him.

"We understand where you're coming from, really Reynie, we do," said Sticky. "But this isn't the way to do things. You're still hurting people in other ways, and I agree that people need to be brought to justice but this...this isn't the way to do it."

"We didn't know it was so hard for you," added Kate. "You were our leader Reynie. And you're right. You held us together, you kept us strong, and you were always there when we needed you. To remind us who we are. I'm sorry we didn't appreciate that more. But now it's our turn to be there for you. To remind you who you are."

Reynie didn't answer for a moment.

"And who do you think that is?"

"Our friend," said Kate.

"Some who is kind, gentle, intelligent, wonderful, and anything but average," added Sticky.

"Someone who knows deep down that this is wrong," said Constance, poking her way around the edges of Reynie's mind.

"Someone who's better than this."

Reynie couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You...you really think that?" he asked. "After everything I've done... you really think that's who I am?"

"We do," said Sticky.

"We all do," agreed Kate.

"I know it," said Constance, as Reynie felt her enter his mind, unearthing the guilt, shame, exhaustion, and pain that he'd kept buried for so long, as well as the love, compassion, and the values he'd put aside and tried to forget about.

They were still a part of him. An unused and forgotten part, but nevertheless, they were still there.

"Your friends are right Reynie."

Reynie turned to see his mother enter his office.

"Amma?" he asked in a small voice.

"But, but I don't understand- how...how did you-"

"For the leader of the criminal underworld, you have pretty bad security. They're easy enough to knock out with a few blow darts and they are much too unsuspecting of a simple old woman," his mother replied with a sad smile.

Reynie's heart dropped. She knew?

One look in her eyes told him everything. Of course she knew. She knew when he started staying out late and never telling her where he was going, when he came back with scars and a haunted look in his eyes that he couldn't explain, when he begged her for the millionth time to stop asking questions, when he moved her into a bigger fancier private house and had the property constantly surrounded by security guards because of a "promotion" that he refused to explain.

His mother was kind, but she certainly wasn't stupid.

And then Reynie realized.

"The coded message. You brought them here."

Dipika nodded.

"You needed them Reynie. You needed to be reminded of who you are."

Reynie hung his head.

"Amma-" he began, but his voice trailed off.

What could he say? What words could ever make it up to the woman who'd taken him in, who'd given everything to him? There was nothing he could say, not when she knew what he'd done, what he'd become.

"Oh Reynie," said Dipika, walking forward to hug her son, who trembled at the affection he knew he didn't deserve.

"I know," she whispered. "I know you're sorry. And I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I wasn't enough. I'm sorry I couldn't reach you. But it's not too late. I promise Reynie. It's never too late."

At last, Reynie broke down, returning his mother's embrace as the three people who refused to give up on him even when he'd given up on himself stepped forward to hug their friend.

---------------------

I apologize for nothing, or maybe I will if enough people tell me this was disturbing and that they didn't like it, which honestly? Fair enough. Anyway, have a lovely evening! 🥰

[mitskijamie]

Headspace is so crazy if my gf was telling all my coworkers and her ex about how clingy and annoying I was I would walk into the ocean. And he apologizes?? Like he’s in the wrong for not reading her mind??? Healthiest couple on the show 💕🫶🥰 this is the future liberals want

Unpopular opinion

I pinpoint Headspace as the exact episode that they took a left turn with Keeley's character and never recovered. I've noticed that some TV shows nowadays try so hard to avoid vilifying female characters that they just end up making their female characters one-dimensional girlbosses while their male counterparts are actually afforded the depth and complexity of real human beings. I think TL makes this mistake in a big way with Headspace and then just digs that hole deeper and deeper until the finale

Simply put, Keeley becomes uninteresting to me post-Headspace because she loses all autonomy. All the bad things that happen to her happen because another character did something bad to her (through no fault of her own, of course) and all the good things that happen to her happen because another character decided to be nice to her.

Prior to the latter half of season 2, Keeley's arc is driven by decisions she makes, for better or for worse. She chooses to leave Jamie. She gets herself a job offer from Rebecca by actively showcasing her talents in a way that the audience can clearly see, and then she takes time to consider whether she can/should accept the offer. She pursues Roy actively. She invites Jamie up for sex. She considers whether she wants to be with Roy and demands a certain level of respect from him before agreeing to date him. She sets boundaries with Jamie. We see her actively doing her job frequently - she finds the pundit job for Roy, she gets various brand deals for the boys, she has to deal with the fallout of the thing with Dubai Air, etc.

Are all of her decisions good decisions? Is she always in the right? No!!!! Which is a good thing, because real people don't always do/say the right thing!!!! But more importantly than whether she's making the right decisions, she is MAKING DECISIONS. She's advancing her own arc!!!!

After Headspace, things start happening TO Keeley rather than because of her, and that's where they lose me. She becomes a fundamentally passive character. What are Keeley's major plot points in s2e8-s3? Jamie tells her he loves her (+ Nate kisses her lol). Jack decides to pick up KJPR, not for any particular reason the audience can see. Roy leaves her. She does choose to hire Shandy, but Shandy pretty quickly becomes the advancing character in that storyline, going off the rails for reasons that have nothing to do with anything Keeley does. Jack starts courting her. Someone else leaks her nudes. Jack leaves her and stops funding KJPR. Rebecca steps in to save KJPR. Then she rejects Roy and Jamie, to show the audience that it's feminism and she ultimately has the ability and good sense to reject both of them, which I appreciate, but feels hollow given the complete lack of autonomy inherent in her s3 storyline

It's just like. Idk. I wish we could've seen even just a little of what Keeley's family and childhood were like and how they influence her behavior, or where her unhealthy coping mechanisms come from, or how she felt about the breakup beyond "sad," etc etc etc. Compare the narrative complexity of Roy, Jamie, Ted, Nate etc. to Keeley. She was completely shafted. She's like a really interesting outline of a character with nothing filled in

[loneswaggingranger]

So... my thoughts on the latest season of Sex Education is a little... jumbled, but overall I give it, like, a 7/10. Here's just some of the parts that I liked and disliked (rmb that this is just my interpretation of watching it and is no way conclusive against other interpretations)

Spoilers below!

Likes

I like that Cavendish is kind of a turn-tables situation where queer/left-wing-progressive ppl are at the top of the social food chain. It realistically shows how even in a space where discrimination of any kind is prohibited, there will still be complex issues that need to be discussed, e.g., toxic positivity, accessibity issues etc.

I also like Eric's whole storyline of finding himself with God. I'm not religious or anything, but I feel his storyline are going to empower a lot of religious queer people.

Adam is always a favourite. His actor just brings so much to the table and his performance is always outstanding. His closure scene with Eric was 💖💖

I love that the show confronts Otis' standing of privilige and how he's sidelined his friendship with Eric. I also like how the main relationship that got repaired was his and Eric's. It's nice to see platonic friendships take the center stage over romantic ones.

I love that Maeve and Otis show how an amicable breakup, still full of love, can be. It shows that if you love someone, you'll love them enough not to hold them back.

Maeve's funeral speech, and her scene conversing with Jean at the dining table made me weepppppp.

I also loved the different ways of grieving the show shows with Maeve and Sean. Sean was clearly in pain, and as the older one, he'd probably seen a bit more shit than Maeve. And he was valid for not wanting to do the funeral because of the pain his mother caused him. But also, Maeve's wish to honour her mother one last time was commendable as well. She remembers the good AND the bad of her mother, and that's just really big of her.

I loved the scene with her telling her professor that a teacher's word holds a lot of power.

I love Maeve's arc entirely basically.

Dislikes

O's entire character was... problematic. Like she did quite a number of problematic things that weren't addressed in the storyline at all. Like she presses her way into other's vulnerabilities without them giving her explicit consent. She looks at things that by all terms, should have been left strictly confidential (Jean's paper about Otis, for example) and then brings it up as if it were a completely okay thing to do. I really wanted to like her, like I see where she was coming from and she has really cool style and she's the only East Asian rep for the show. Just, as an East Asian person watching this (though I'm not from the UK), it just felt very othering that the ONLY East Asian rep in the show had to be played against the main character. I didn’t like her because she was the story's antagonist to the main character. If there were other East Asians in the series, I might have felt better about it but like, O being the only one, and also being a problematic character just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

I really think Adam's storyline could have been integrated more into the Cavendish storyline. Coz right now his just feels like it's hanging on the side with no real connection to the main plot. I love his horses tho.

The show should really have stuck with its existing characters rather than broadening the scope to... Jo, for example. Anwar and Olivia could have been explored. Idk what went on behind the scenes but like, for a final season, shifting the main focus to the main cast and just a couple new ones should have been enough. I love that it's working to be diverse and inclusive, but jam-packing so many different experiences into one last season just felt... jarring for the season's ending.

[risingshards]

Spring 2024 anime review!

It's time for my annual anime season review! I had a lot more shows to watch this season than last, which at times got a bit hectic! It's not quite done yet but it's done enough that I think I can put this up. Warning: Long post incoming where I ramble about the many anime shows I watched and personal reflection about how Going Through It™ affected my watching.

Laid Back Camp Season 3: My fav of the season, I'm obsessed with these camping girlies and any more time with them is always a treat. The combo of the suspension bridge arc with the wacky over the top arc is a fun jarring one, and the last trip was so sweet. Rin and Nadeshiko felt even gayer this season which is impressive, they're the most girlfriends to me, Chiaki and Aoi too (or maybe I should just ship full camping polycule???) It was only a few second scenes too but I love that they added Aya into the later arcs as well. I've been in a rough place mentally for a while and it kicked into a new gear this summer, so the comfort vibes of the show hit differently. I'm a super anxious person so chill times where everything is OK is such a nice escape from the world. Shout out to the OP/ED for being my favs this season! Also highly recommend both sub and dub, because the dub cast is SOOOO good once more. Celeste Perez is so fantastic as Rin, and Morgan Laure Garrett does an incredible performance as Nadeshiko. The whole cast is so great I could ramble on and on about them.

Whisper Me a Love Song: Not technically done yet as eps 11 and 12 are delayed, but in spite of the production woes this one has my heart this season in that "I love the manga and am happy to see this animated, I am hyperfixated, and warts and all I love watching it and get way way WAYYYY too sensitive about it seriously chiral go touch grass instead of having anxiety attacks about an anime" kind of way. The voice cast is SO perfect and everyone fits their characters so well and it's a treat to see the manga adapted. Himari and Yori's fluffy relationship was so sweet and I teared up a lot at their big moments. My beloved Aki got so many delicious angsty scenes while also showing her as not a bad person, just someone who's caught up in a crush while heartbroken about her true love leaving her (a true love that she didn't even realize was true love). Speaking about that true love, Shiho getting to be a feral cat storming into the proceedings is a treat, and I love that we get to see her earlier in the anime than in the manga.

The downsides ofc are the production that delayed two of the episodes, and now has the last two pushed to a later date, and my big qualm is the festival getting skipped over (well still kinda animated in the visual comic they released with the voice actors doing great on it), that's a bummer. I can see structurally what they were going for, 6 eps for Himari/Yori and 6 eps for the very popular Aki/Shiho storyline, and having the 'lost' ep voice acted helps a bit. But ughghggh even with all that...IDK it's still my babg and they're my babygorls so I'm rooting for 11 and 12 to be really great and for me to not engage with any fandom discussion about it LOL. Like I said this one had my heart this season, and when something latches onto your heart like that, I think it's good to cherish that a bit.

Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night: I heard the buzz a few episodes in about this and was hooked pretty quickly. The animation quality was great, I adored the characters, and I loved the queerness in it with the nonbinary talks, trans yakuza ladie, the kiss, and while I wish they went more in on the romance, we still got a lot of queerness that I don't want to count out. It's another case where I really need to disengage with what people think about something when it's special to me (that might be the moral of the season, honestly). My big downside for this is it got a little too stressful for me, the big fight towards the end of the show kept me up at night. I might be going through it pretty bad if watching anime does that to me BUT we stay silly.

Train to the End of the World: I didn't realize until I saw a post about it like yesterday that this had the same director as Kill la Kill and Gurren Lagann and in hindsight yeah that tracks. This was such a wild ride, I love a good journey story and this scratched that itch well. A group of girls go on a weird, hilarious, and heartfelt journey via train through a bizarre world? It made me really want to write a journey story. Funniest show of the season by far, crazy visuals, fun action, each episode being a strange little journey on its own helped the vibe.

The Many Sides of Voice Actor Radio: This was a really cute one, bubbly gyaru x stoic girlie is a fun dynamic. Going by the structure, I assume this was the first 3 light novels adapted, since each arc was 4 eps IIRC. I hope the light novels get translated here because I'd love to see where the story goes next. My downside to this is this one also got STRESSFUL stressful in that like social kind of way as the main duo deals with stalkers, assholes online, shitty voice directors (I hope that voice director that was giving Yasumi a hard time gets super fired in season 2) and that took away from the fluff at times. Still was a definite highlight of the season.

Nijiyon Animation 2: Maybe even weirder than the first season, I was really glad to get more of this one, weekly 3 minute adventures of a wacky gay harem really is good for the soul. I love the vibe of like "yeah we're doing this premise this week let's just go with it" that a lot of the episodes had. Do Season 3 cmon!

Vexations of a Shut in Vampire Princess dub: I am a big stan for Vexations, and this dub has not disappointed so far (I think just one or two episodes to go for it), VERY well cast with Brittney Karbowski (of Railgun fame) putting in a STELLAR performance as Komari, showcasing all the facets of Komari's personality, like her spoiled bratty princess side, her anxious about being plopped into a dire situation side, the theater kid performance that helps her through this, and many other sides, it's really fantastic work by her. Vill, Sakuna, and Millicent are standouts as well (every Millicent scene I needed to pause afterwards because wow 🥵).

I also watched the back half of Dungeon Meshi (which is so big rn that I feel like I don't know what to add? It's great!), the new Spice and Wolf which was nice, Bartender: Glass of God which was VERY chill, and a coworker friend rec'd Condition Called Love, but I did not really enjoy that one.

All in all despite the bumpy road, I was really happy with this season and got SO much yuri. I do still need to watch Girls Band Cry and will rectify that soon, I just had way too many shows to watch at once.

Next season I am mainly looking forward to My Deer Friend Nokotan, and started watching Suicide Squad Isekai mainly for the ED lol. Next season big goal also: Chiral touches grass and her hypersensitive ass stops getting so worried about what other people think of the anime she watches and to just enjoy the anime hyperfixation while it's in full swing like this.

[wouriqueen]

IWTV S2 finale - General thoughts

Hmmmmmmm okay so. Top notch episode until the official end of the interview.

Post Daniel ending the session... eeeeeeh. I was disappointed. My fears about how they were going to wrap it all up ended up being founded :/ Maybe this is just because it's a first watch but Idk. The things I enjoyed were:

Jacob Anderson thank you for this 15 episodes of excellent acting, your performance will always be a classic in my house.

watching Louis be happier - I love him enough for that haha

Daniel's ending was satisfactory to me, aside from the fact that I feel we should have seen his turning for his arc to feel complete, again we needed another episode.

Here's what I didn't like or still need to think about under the cut.

No time to see Louis process the reveal + break-up. I didn't hate his reaction, though it only makes sense if he suspected it in the back of his mind, which I maintain he must have a little. The issue? We don't even see him process 77 years of Armand lying about choosing him and being sad about Claudia and/or 77 years of him lying to himself. Not even a montage. Despite the fact that it was 77 YEARS. And that seconds before Daniel threw the bomb Loumand were falling back into fond reminiscing.

Armand taking "going with the flow" to the extreme. This one might be a matter of my own competence but I don't... get it? I understand he's a character who gaslights himself into believing he can't change things. I understand he's someone who derives his own identity from serving a person or a purpose, from playing a role, and clearly is too terrified to step outside of them. But the fact he didn't take ANY independent significant step throughout the Paris era is something I'm going to have to sit with. Did he do all that because he believed Louis couldn't get rid of the coven without his help, aka without him taking action, and since he doesn't do that, everything else was an inevitability? I think what's jarring to me is that this means he never actually chose Louis in any capacity that mattered. I know he loved him but. ??

The whole Lestat thing... absolutely unearned. I just could not care because it wasn't resolved. We don't get answers about his presence at the trial. If he wasn't coerced, I don't get his defending Claudia on stage. Are we supposed to believe he only felt remorse when she looked to him for help? Sounds insane. And if he was coerced, we should have been told here. Because I can't believe Louis just... not asking these questions. Time heals, but I don't see how Louis can skip to forgiveness without any explanations given.

The "equal wrongs" vibe of the Louis and Lestat's convo. Lestat apologized for the drop, but not for everything else. As for Louis' thanks, we have seen nothing to explain this sudden appreciation for the gift. And even of we say it's been a gradual process, at the end of the day, him saying he didn't realize vampirism was a "gift" doesn't make sense because back in 1910s he was a Black man in Jim Crow America! And the gift could certainly not do for him what it's doing now! He was also losing his family in real time, which while perhaps inevitable, wasn't something he could have just chosen to not feel anything about...

Claudia. I also didn't like Louis' speech about Claudia's turning, because while factually true, the way it was written and the emphasis on "saved her from a fire only so she could die in the light" felt like he was falling in line with the whole "she shouldn't have been made "anyway". Turning her was a sin but it wasn't the only one perpetrated against her. And maybe I'm being too hard here because that's a line fandom has used, "it's sad but she shouldn't have been made", as if that diminishes the weight of the wrongs done to her. As if these vampires had any right to decide in advance that she would not make it and then make the time she did have on Earth a living hell. "It's not all on you" Louis you still haven't asked him why he was there????

Louis saying "I own the night" Wouldn't the vampires threatening him be old of part of other covens? Has he gotten strong enough from Armand's blood + Magnus' blood for that? Out of context, that was weird.

We don't see Daniel turning. Again I know we lacked time, but it would have made his arc come full circle. Especially with how present the topic of his death was in the last episode.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I feel like I will never understand the people who think that Kakashi should have stayed dead in the Pain arc, since according to them he doesn't do anything relevant afterwards. I feel that if that had been the case, Kakashi would have had an unfinished character development. For me, people forget all the nice moments the character gave us (like, for example, him carrying Naruto), or all the characters he saved, or that he was the one who discovered how Obito's technique worked and that he was also the one who made the plan to seal Kaguya. Idk why they think he should have died there...

Without Kakashi

-Obito’s reveal would have held no weight. Like honestly the only reason we feel anything anout Obito’s reveal is because of his connection to Kakashi.

-Sasuke and Naruto would never have sealed Kaguya. The two of them were trying time and time again and it wasn’t until Kakashi entered the fight with Sussano and put into action a plan of his own that they FINALLY succeed.

- Obito would have never come back to the ‘good’ side. Naruto knocked some sense into Obito but Obito only gave up fighting at that point. It was Kakashi who brought Obito to their side in the fight.

-Sakura would have died, MULTIPLE TIMES. Heck, just from the change to the lava dimension her and Obito would have died as it was Kakashi who saved all of them.

-Obito’s heart would never have been destroyed, thus destroying Madara’s seal on it and giving Obito the freedom to break away from Madara.

- Naruto would probably have approached Danzo about sasuke and been locked away, forcing him to sit down and leaving no one to approach the Raikage about Sasuke, or forcing him to go Rogue to try and fight for Sasuke. It was Kakashi who chose to ignore rules and take Naruto to the Raikage to plead for Sasuke’s life.

-Sasuke would have killed Sakura. End point. Naruto saved her the second time, but Kakashi saved her the first time. If Kakashi was dead Naruto would have arrived to a dead Sakura.

-No one would have brought Naruto to the village and he would have passed out in the forest after his interaction with Nagato and Konan. It was Kakashi who arrived looking for him and carried him back to Konoha.

- Danzo would have been granted title of Hokage right away without struggle. Kakashi was the only one offered up as an opposing choice, and there was no one else the elder’s or even the daiymo would have seriously considered (For the daiymo connection matters, as shown by how quickly they recognized Kakashi by him being the ‘son of the White fang’

But most importabtly

That would have been an absolute shit ending. Kakashi is a character who has always been about dying to protect his precious people.

That was what he thought his worth was. Dying to protect ither’s and the village.’

Him living is what he needed.

Him living allowed him to realize he had worth as more than just a weapon, and that he was allowed to heal and be happy.

If he stayed dead in the pein arc he never would have gotten closure about Obito and Rin’s death, which would feel empty as by that point we’ve learned a bit about his past.

It’s the whole ‘gai should have died in the war’ shit all over again.

They could have died, but then they would just be feeding into the idea that they were fodder for the greater war machine with no worth other than to die for the cause

That was exactly the story kishi was trying to change

What naruto and others wanted so badly to change

Kakashi, Gai and other’s living was the purpose of the story because Naruto’s goal was to have a world where people didn’t die needless deaths.

Kakashi surving was part of Naruto achieving that goal

Putting an end to countless needless deaths.

It’s why Nagato brought the people of Konoha back. He realized that he was perpetuating what he had felt by killing others, and by placing his trust in naruto to change things for the better he chose to display that trust by being the first step and bringing those he killed back.

By ending the cycle of needless death

[vacantgodling]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

hewwo thank you for asking <3 i'm gonna randomize some wips and give u a nice lil ramble lol

(1) train master chidori

in terms of me redesigning folami, i think i'm also gonna tweak her personality a bit too. i want to give her braids and slicked down baby hairs instead of the initial poofs that i had her with previously--and i think that may change which association creature/thing that i want her to be associated with bc i mostly just associated her with poodles because of her hair LOL. in terms of her personality, i originally made her a bit airheaded but i think i may kinda wanna give her more mature vibes since she's technically gonna be the oldest and most experienced of chidorky's crew. more... zakuro from tmm energy tbh. i think that may be the vibe i wanna go for for her lol.

(2) celestial weddings

beloved extremely wholesome polycule shenanigans lol. i think the one character that i know much less about their romance arc with dag is muu? muu is from denjai, which is the fourth sphere and its a swampland and marshy type of place. muu themself is the youngest of all of dag's lovers and it definitely shows in how upbeat they are and how they very much look up to dag in an almost hero worship kind of way. tbh they probably have the senpai/kouhai romantic relationship arc and ngl its very cute. muu also flaps their hands whenever they get excited about something and they tend to stumble over their words when they get excited, which is a lot lol.

(3) nondisclosure

i used to be sooo back and forth about nyseah and 17's relationship when i made the characters many many moons before; (and actually now that i think about it, most of the characters from that wip, except everything relating to owen and helios's storyline still exists in this version of the story lol. idk if i'll ever go back to those two characters but they did have a sweet relationship, it was just SO thematically different than everything else that was going on, which is how it developed into what i call now nondisclosure LOL) i actually kind of wanted them to get together only because i built up 17 to be a sort of "he's justified for his actions and he actually does care about nyssie.... somehow" back then. but i think i was also biased because he was one of the first "morally grey characters" i really ever made and i suppose back then i was much simpler in what i wanted from those kinds of characters.

when i think about nondisclosure now, 17 barely plays a role in it from what i think. tbh i think 12 plays more of a role than he does and that's because i'm obsessed with 12 and i think everyone should be obsessed with 12 but this isn't about him this is about 17 and nyssie. i think it works better for nyssie to not get with him in the end because like he seriously violated her in a way that younger me didn't really see an issue with (thanks ya and anime for not thinking this kind of relationship was bad or that it could be fixed LMAOOO... not to say that i don't enjoy making those kinds of relationships now, its just the fact that now i'm more likely to lean into the relationship being fucked up LMAO). anyway tho, mama nyssie and her brood of kiddos is the best ending for her because its the one where she's the happiest :D

(4) sixteen candles

ranger being aromantic makes so much of how he acted in all of the old chapters that i wrote many moons ago make so much fucking sense. like seriously, he was soooo noncommittal to the point of it being basically a meme, and even tho the friend i would talk with about these characters at the time helped me make a character for him to be with and i 'enjoyed' it to a certain extent, it always felt kind of off? and i think its because the person ranger will always be the closest with is always gonna be nanette, like they are inseperable and i think them defining a qpr is actually So Fucking Good for them. i'm kinda obsessed with their dynamic ngl, adn i also like the idea that ranger is just like down to fuck all of his besties and at the same time they all have a relationship with each other where that's just a thing that they do.

i really need to work on roger tho because he is so conflicted about a lot of things. not just to get him open to the fucking really, but mostly just because he has the roughest go of it relating to family and it kinda hits home for me personally a bit, so in some ways i feel like idk how i should handle it. but overall, love they. i should think about them more tbh LOL

(5) the liminal space series (overall)

chloe being involved in jenna's story is honest to god still so funny to me. like here's this "average" small town popular girl, who's popular by virtue of being normal enough and outgoing enough that everyone likes her, but having a bit of an alt style so people think she's edgy and unique and then all of a sudden she's hanging out with the town weirdos trying to hunt down a what? what did you say it was jenna? a chupa--WhAT?

and the fact that she's so taken aback with how casually jenna says that she likes her that it just takes her and her sexuality for a wild ride and at the end of it all she has to go to college and pretend that she didn't just have the craziest senior year/summer of her fucking life LMAOOO its just so funny to me.

[lost-boys-chapter]

I am continuing with the sa reread!! hopefully it'll speed up now bc the bartending ✨️chaos season✨️ (aka the euros) is over, so I should have more time. also am on holiday this week and convinced I can get through the entirety of twok by saturday. I'm almost to part 3. my thoughts are as follows:

who are the three guys in the ishikk interlude? I say this, knowing 2/3 of the answer. one of them is galladon, right? and another is demoux? I know one if them is the nale lookalike mentioned in the sa5 interlude preview? do we have any more info on why they're looking for hoid yet? I vaguely remember these three always confusing me.

are the epigraphs for p2 the letter from hoid to frost? the 'old friend' threw me off bc that's how sazed refers to everyone in tlm, but I'm increasingly sure it makes sense that it's hoid.

also, GOD, dalinar and adolin's opening chapters are boring. ik they end up being two of my faves in the rest of the series so I've been slogging through them but they just seem to....not be doing a lot. obviously a lot of the point of their chapters is that the vengeance pact is becoming long and drawn out, and more about sport than anything else, so it kind of makes sense thematically. but still, doesn't feel like there's a lot to sink my teeth into.

relatedly, increasingly it does feel like kaladin is the Personality Hire of the original pov characters. like, he's got a lot less to say in terms of worldbuilding and setup for the general arc of the first half than shallan and dalinar, but he's the only real character who you care about enough to sink your teeth into the plot and properly root for on first read. I definitely felt that way to begin with and I still feel so on reread, so. you can also quite easily see him becoming marginally less relevant in later books so I wonder if part of it really is that he's just the first character you can really begin to love in this series. not saying I don't care for him in later books, obviously. but idk just a thought

rock my beloved !! I had completely forgotten he'd become a bridgeman by putting chull dung in sadeas' soup LMAO he's my favorite ever. also, when him and teft were asking each other's names and teft asked him what his real name was, I immediately said, out loud, 'numuhukumakiaki'aialunamor.' not sure what it says that I remembered this but forgot other characters' entire existence.

the other bridgemen make me 🥰🥰🥰 also. it surprises me on reread that sigzil was one of kaladin's biggest critics to begin with. it reads as kind of weird to me but I suppose the realities of bridgeman life would strip the fundamentals of anyone's character. still, I'm yet to read the sunlit man and we know how much I've forgotten regardless so maybe I've been shaped by fandom perception a little too much.

dunny :( I've not got to the bit where he dies yet but I remember his being the bridgeman death that hurt the most in twok so every time he shows up I get a fun burst of sadness. also for some reason I thought it was hobber who originally almost died, not leyten, but maybe I'm right and just haven't gotten to that part yet lol.

just remembered that lopen exists too. looking forward to him showing up.

and syl!! I love her so much, it's cool in retrospect to see what spren lose and how they slowly regain their sentience while moving into the physical realm to form a bond. seeing her confused about understanding abstract concepts is great. I was listening to the wind and truth predictions shardcast the other day and someone came up with a theory that the way windrunners are recruited might be turned on its head in era 2. in retrospect that would be super cool to see.

speaking of, that episode of shardcast also convinced me that syladin is a possibility, which ruined my day.

unrelatedly: navani is such a badass, that text post that's going around that's like 'navani really showed up at the shattered plains and immediately told dalinar that her son is a loser' is so so real lol. I don't think I originally liked her in twok bc I didn't understand her... purpose, I guess? this time around I'm like 😍😍 mine scientist lady beloved.

also, could the stormfather really not think of a better way to investigate a possible bond than random prophetic visions? though the one we see onscreen first with the weird midnight creatures is very cool in retrospective.

regarding flashbacks: I'm not super invested in kaladin's past, once you've read it once it's not difficult to remember what happens so I'm pretty much just skimming. but I think rereading it a few years older makes it a lot easier to understand that lirin is a far more complex character than I originally thought, esp regarding row. obviously he's got kaladin's best interests in mind, but I feel like his moral reasoning is a lot clearer on reread. I don't think hes a great person, but i dont think hes necessarily more flawed than a lot of other main characters. I don't exactly remember what happens in row but I remember he gets... worse. I'm interested to see how my opinion changes.

and finally on a meta note: I know the first arc is supposed to thematically parallel a ketek, which I remember being able to spot elements of between wor and row. I'm super curious to see if I can spot anything in twok which might be paralleled in wind and truth. I do think I thought of smth regarding syl earlier but I forgot what it was 🫠-- maybe something go do with the recreance questions we're hoping to get answered?

this has been a very long post for which I am sorry but I'm open to discussion points!! would love to hear people's thoughts on my thoughts lol. will inevitably be back with more lukewarm takes

[roobylavender]

had talia not been character assassinated do you think she and bruce should have gotten back together?

no. i hate to use the word "phase" bc that would seem to diminish the importance of what's between them, which is something that will always persist esp as their continued dedication to the same causes and their respect for each other remains. but i do think realistically bruce should be a phase in talia's life. at least in terms of consummated romances specifically. i do love the idea of them remaining allies, close friends, and co-parents, but i think allowing talia to walk away from ra's and bruce in the first place has to stand for something in the long term. before talia went her own way i think it was easier to imagine a potential future where she ended up with bruce bc it felt like the desirable option. she was in this very debilitating position where she had little to no freedom to act on her own desires and goals, the embodiment of which was none other than bruce. so when you frame her situation pre-tower of babel, obv wanting to be with bruce was appealing. he was as much the love of her life as he was a means of escape and freedom and talia having the scope to then act on her own desires. i think that's what subsequently makes dc #750 (or is it #570. i never get the numbers straight and i'm too lazy to check) a really clever issue, actually, bc it acknowledges that and the fact that bruce once again setting her free bc of his love for her actually gives her the courage to step out on her own where she never has before. the fact that she has the option to go back to gotham with bruce and presumably have everything she's ever wanted with him, but she leaves it anyway, is a really huge deal. it's a statement. she loves him, but not more than she loves herself. and sure, what talia puts herself through during lex corp era certainly begs the question of whether her version of loving herself is really viable or in any way healthy, and i would love to see bruce help her recognize that she's not alone and that she doesn't have to do it alone to prove that she's capable. all of this i agree with. but i don't think that really means she and bruce have to fall back on their once-imagined dream of playing house. even if talia did find methods of going about her work that were mentally healthier i don't really know what'd be in it for her to play house with bruce in gotham. bc that is what it would have to be, for their relationship to work in any way. bruce will never leave gotham and son of the demon didn't need to explore that issue bc it was never going to get there but trust that corny as the line about naming the baby thomas or martha was it was reflective of a reality: gotham is bruce's entire life. no matter where he goes, no matter what he does, no matter who he works with, in the end he will always belong to gotham. and i simply do not think that would ever work for talia bc there is so much more she is capable of. while her vision is aligned with bruce's her scope of access and ability is entirely distinct of his own and there is so much more that she can do aside from relegate herself to gotham (hence why lex corp as an arc makes so much sense, bc it capitalizes on that scope). and yeah every superhero couple is kinda crazy and they have teleportation and shit but idk i don't think it's really a relationship for each party to go on long missions with ill-defined parameters that give them the worst sleep schedules known to man and occasionally they share a bed. it really isn't. and that's something that bruce and talia have to live with. their duty is always going to come first even though they both have a passion for civilian life. for talia to be in a relationship again she would have to stop having the liberty of being able to go wherever the work carries her and for bruce to be in a relationship again he would have to have the equivalent of a robin-wife. neither of these things is ever going to happen. so

[waybrights]

idk squad, ik everyone has their own opinions abt how the show ended (and, yeah I should probably let it go its been a year) but to see the take that it was so bad it completely ruined the show... it feels like we didn't watch the same show because with the ending and the completion of the show, it felt like the build-up was SO obvious??? I could be saying this just because amphibia is like, my favourite show of all time, but I genuinely feel like the ending we got fit the show so Well??

ofc we can argue about how well solo arcs were written and how some characters didn't get what they deserve etc, but the overall ending and message of: yes, you will move on and grow apart from people, but that doesn't mean you will always lose them forever. felt so, perfect to me. like the whole show was abt anne changing due to the influence of those around her and her becoming a better person and the holder of the heart gem. and the fact that some ppl will look at that and still come out of the hardest thing believing that the way things ended ruined the whole show feels a little silly to me ????

ofc this is all my opinion and its like, midnight rn. but I've just, been thinking this for a while.