#but idk if that's because i actually want to or if i'm just v uncomfortable rn at the thought of having to learn how to be in school again

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i have classes again! (i do not know if this is good or not yet) so i will not be able to draw as often. that or i will be drawing extra as a way to procrastinate working on assignments

[peachhcs]

the perfect moment

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

someone requested will and samy's first time, so after trying to write it for nearly a month, it's finished! again, please read at your own risk, this is very explicit!!

3.6k words

warnings: 18+, smut with a tiny bit of plot, but like all of this is smut again. p in v (protected!), slight handjob, hair pulling, sucking on boobs, a bit of praising, very consensual, making out, hickeys, grinding, i think that's it??

this is how i pictured samy and will's first time going! because will's whole life was hockey, he never really had time for a lot of experimenting. there's small talk of religion in this (idk if will was/is actually catholic but somewhere i thought he was. take it all with a grain of salt, this is just how i thought it would go/how will and samy would be :))

au masterlist

one of the last days before summer ended and will couldn't stop thinking about one thing.

will's eyes glued themselves to samy's lips and the way she applied chapstick making her pink lips even more pink and glossier. he couldn't look away even if he wanted to because all he could think about was kissing that chapstick right off and the feeling of her plump lips against his own.

something had the blonde's brain wired up the past couple of days.

he couldn't stop staring. everything samy did, will's eyes were on her. drinking water? staring. playing volleyball? staring. jumping into the lake? oh, will was definitely staring.

he just couldn't tear his eyes away no matter how hard he tried. something was making the blonde's brain go haywire. he'd get worked up over the littlest thing like seeing the brunette in one of his boston college t-shirts and just her swimsuit. one second he'd look and the next he'd be painfully hard.

will felt like a fucking fifteen-year-old again going through the stages of puberty and getting hard at almost everything. he felt pathetic, really—stepping away to relieve the ache in his cock because him and samy have only been dating for two and a half months and the farthest they've gone was making out with shirts off.

he didn't know what too soon was and he did not want to make her uncomfortable with his weird boyish desires that had been creeping up a lot more lately.

so will suffered in silence and it was fine for a few days until him and samy caught themselves in a heated make out session while everyone was outside.

the boy nipped harshly at her lips, tugging her hips impossibly closer against his own. samy giggled—music to will's ears. her own fingers danced around in his hair, twisting it and tugging at the roots leaving the hockey player to see stars.

she shifted against him and will's boner pressed against her thigh. whether she noticed it or not, she didn't say anything. usually, neither of them would mention it when they started making out and they'd ignore it, but this time was different.

"are you always this hard?" samy breathed against will's mouth, pulling apart slightly.

"w-what?" the boy stuttered out earning a smile from the brunette.

"you're really hard," the girl commented making will blush embarrassingly hard—like whole face a tomato in seconds. he immediately shifted away from her, feeling embarrassed about how turned on he was from just kissing for five minutes.

"s-sorry?" he didn't really know what to say, but samy raised her eyebrow.

her boyfriend—a 6'0, forward, hockey player—was sorry that he was hard? she's known will her entire life for having such a hard outer shell—seeing him stand before her bright red and nervous seemed like such a different person than she's known, but samy didn't think it was a bad thing.

"why are you apologizing?" the girl laughed, pressing her hands against his torso.

"i-i don't know. i-i don't wanna make you uncomfortable?" will struggled finding the right words. he had a hard time reading samy's face which was rare considering how close they were.

"do you think i'm uncomfortable?" the girl wondered. will stared at her for a moment before slowly shaking his head.

"no.."

"you're right, i'm not. i think it's hot that you're hard. i mean, i'd be worried if you weren't," she laughed, easing some of the tension in the boy's shoulders.

the girl placed a finger on his chest, slowly dragging it down. she wanted to try something, watching the way a shaky breath escaped will's lips as he struggled to keep his eyes open under her touch.

the once stable boy seemed to crumble in her hands and boy, did that do something to samy's head and ego.

she carefully pushed the blonde back onto her bed where he stared up at her with a look in his eyes that was a mix of confusion and intrigue. a gentle smile spread across samy's lips knowing she wanted will to feel as comfortable as possible because at the end of the day, he was her best friend and the two have known each other since they were babies. this side of their relationship was still so fresh and new.

will's hands found their place on her hips as samy straddled his lap. this wasn't anything new. she was usually on his lap when their kiss became more heated, but right now, the feeling of her thighs pressed against both sides of will's legs did something to him. his hands shook while his heartbeat grew more rapid with each kiss they shared.

"you okay?" samy wondered between kisses. she could feel his rapid heartbeat from where her hands held their place at his neck.

"mhm, yeah," will managed between heavy breaths.

with that, samy continued kissing her boyfriend's lips while her fingers felt his silver chain beneath his shirt. she curled the metal around her one finger, slowly edging it out from under the shirt. the blonde was very aware of her hands on him, her touch like fire on his skin. the metal now dangled above his clothes along with the small cross pendent hanging off the end.

samy's hands dipped further down, attaching to will's neck and dragging back down his torso. a noise sounded from the back of will's throat that was a mix between a moan and whimper as samy's hand got dangerously close to where the boy wanted her touch the most. he's actually thought about this moment for weeks, always imaging it and hoping it'd become a reality.

finally, her hand palmed his bulge through his shorts. will's brain short-circuited, a loud "fuck" escaping his lips and then a "wait. wait."

samy immediately pulled her hand away, eyes jumping back up to her boyfriend's, "what?"

will's mouth worked faster than his brain, cursing to himself for making her stop before he could even think about it. his face flushed while samy searched his gaze worried she did something wrong or moved too fast. what she didn't know was that will wanted her to keep going. he just...how did he tell her this without her most definitely laughing at him?

"i-i've never..i've never done this..before.." the hockey player managed to get out.

a silence fell betweem them as samy took in his words and will quickly started internally panicking.

"oh."

that definitely wasn't the response will expected nor the statement samy expected from her boyfriend.

"oh? good oh? bad oh?" the boy searched her eyes, growing conscious of his revelation. maybe he shouldn't have told her.

"no, no, no. not a bad oh. just..surprising?" samy gently laughed, pulling her fingers through will's hair again. his eyes softened out, turning into puppy-dog eyes.

she did not think will was a virgin. the youngest hughes for sure thought will messed around in his dev years considering all of the girls that were always at the games and the ones his friends constantly talked about. he was a catch, so this news was very surprising to samy.

"oh," will muttered, unsure of how to feel, maybe embarrassed? ashamed?

hockey had always been will's number one. since he could walk, the only thing taking up space in his brain was hockey. hockey, hockey, hockey. girls was never something on the blonde's mind. not nearly as much as the sport he loved. wanting to be the best and prove how good he could be, will devoted all of his time to the ice which meant limiting his social interactions. it had always been that way and for awhile, will didn't mind. he went to an all boys school before moving to michigan, so it wasn't even a problem.

the status of his virginity or experience never mattered with who he was with because the guys were as locked in as he was—maybe not ryan when he started dating julianne, but their minds never wandered off too far. all of that changed when things in will's mind started shifting some years ago, when samy started taking up the spot hockey once did. soon, all his mind could think about was the girl he always saw as an annoying sister.

"hey, hey, don't feel embarrassed. it's normal," samy read the look on her boyfriend's face, quickly making him look at her. will just flushed even more under her stare.

virginity was a concept will heard a lot about growing up catholic. going to a catholic high school taught him a lot about "waiting until marriage" which wasn't something the boy entirely agreed with. his views definitely changed as he got older and thought less and less about his religion. obviously, not completely, though. the silver pendent dangling off his neck was a small reminder keeping him tied in, but that didn't mean he wanted him and samy to stop doing whatever they were about to do.

"h-have you..done this before?" will didn't even know if he wanted to know the answer. a pang of jealousy bubbled in his stomach at the idea of some other guy doing this with samy before he could.

"uh..yeah, but not a lot. like twice or something," samy quickly mumbled.

"oh."

"it was with that guy i dated briefly junior year. it wasn't anything crazy," the girl filled in making sure will knew she was no where near super experienced, but she knew a thing or two.

'"right," the blonde nodded. he remembered that guy a little too well, never really fond of him whenever he was around.

"we don't have to do this if you don't want to," samy said softly, caressing her boyfriend's cheek. he leaned into her touch.

"i want to..i just..i don't really know what to do past making out," will mumbled shyly, avoiding her gaze.

"that's okay. i can help," the girl encouraged with a smile. the hockey player met her eyes seeing how reassuring they looked.

"okay," he mumbled, smiling.

with that, samy attached her lips back to will's lips. the two shared another passionate kiss, the blonde's confidence slowly returning as he worked his tongue into the girl's mouth. she hummed, slowly dragging her hands through his curls before shifting lower again.

will felt drunk on her kisses. he never wanted the feeling of her lips against his to stop. his breath caught in his throat when samy's hand returned to the bulge in his pants.

"do you trust me?" the girl wondered. will nodded.

"gotta say it, will," she urged, needing a vocal confirmation.

"yes, i trust you," he managed through breathy pants.

will felt her grin against his lips as she slowly slipped her hand into his shorts. the boy jumped at the feeling of her warm hand against his clothed cock. "fuck," he let out.

"okay?" samy wondered.

"mhm, okay," the boy said, quickly nodding his head as samy stroked him through his shorts.

will's hips stuttered uncontrollably. his mind was racing along with the dreams he's had of him and samy doing this. her hand fit so perfectly around his length and god, it was so much better than his own hand.

"ugh, f-feels good," the blonde muttered, somewhat nervous still.

"yeah? feels good?" samy smiled, satisfied with the sounds she was pulling from will. he nodded with his head tipping back a little, struggling to keep his eyes open because he wanted to ingrain this moment into his brain forever.

his open neck was the perfect opportunity for the girl to pounce. she hooked her lips onto his throat, quickly sucking which pulled a guttural moan from within the boy. he bit hard on his lip in fear that someone would hear them while samy continued her stroking and nipping his skin. 

from knowing a small thing or two, will decided to try something. he slipped his hand up her shirt until it stopped on her boobs. a small gasp left his lips when he realized samy wasn't wearing a bra under her shirt. 

"okay?" the girl asked sensing his hesitation. 

"y-yes. yeah. you're not wearing a bra," he said a bit bluntly. a tiny chuckle left her lips. 

"is that okay?" 

"more than okay," will breathed. he cupped one breast with his hand, feeling samy's nipple harden under his touch. 

he stated rubbing it in tiny circles—something one of his teammates said girls like and boy, was he right. a soft moan escaped samy's lips which filled the blonde's chest with pride that he did that. 

he decided to keep going by adding a few squeezes on the covered bud. samy squirmed atop his lap which was definitely not helping the arousal in his pants, but will tried ignoring his own needs, wanting to focus all on samy. 

he continued that for another few moments before samy decided they needed their shirts off. she tugged at the bottom of will's and he quickly took the hint as he pulled it over his head. it flew somewhere in her room and his mouth watered a bit in anticipation for samy to lose her shirt. he'd never seen her completely naked on top, only with a bra still on. 

as soon as will saw her bare nipples, he thought he'd cum on the spot. they were so beautiful in a bra, the blonde had no idea they could get even better without a bra. 

"you can touch," samy nodded encouragingly. 

will slowly cupped both hands on her breasts. he squeezed before rubbing both of his thumbs over the buds. another moan left the brunette's lips, her head tipping back. the boy didn't waste a second attaching his lips to her skin like she did minutes ago. 

this wasn't new to will. he was practically a pro at giving hickeys in the most hottest, yet hidden places. samy's arms wrapped around his neck like she wanted him closer so his face was practically in her chest. 

he sucked everywhere across her top half—neck, collarbone, the soft flesh of the tops of her breasts. before will even knew it, her entire nipple slipped into his mouth and made contact with his tongue. 

a louder moan left the girl's lips and will knew he wanted to pull more of those sounds from her. 

"fuck, just like that will," samy moaned out, tugging harshly at the root of his curls. the boy hummed, trying to focus everything on samy and not his desperate need for a release. 

the girl let him go back and forth on each for a few more minutes before pulling him up and reconnecting their lips. will's swollen lips were slick with his saliva all while he tasted samy's signature gloss: strawberry. it made him dizzy in a good way because all he wanted was to kiss all of it off. 

"think you're ready?" samy wondered, not wanting to move too fast. the hockey player quickly nodded feeling the strain in his shorts and the way his hips were just involuntarily grinding against samy's core. 

"so ready." 

with that, she climbed off his lap, instructing him to pull his shorts and underwear down. samy dug through her drawer for a condom, flashing the imfaous rapper before pulling her own shorts down as well. will's entire mouth watered seeing her almost completely naked besides her underwear. 

"you're so gorgeous," the blonde muttered, not even able to tear his eyes away. 

will sat with his cock out where it occasionally twitched against his stomach. the tip was red and definitely ready, although he grew a bit conscious under samy's longing stare. 

did she not like it? was he not big enough? was he too big? 

the worries clouded will's brain until samy climbed back onto her bed, stroking her boyfriend's cheek to bring him back to reality, "remember, you can say no or stop at anytime, okay?" 

"i know," the blonde nodded. 

he watched his girlfriend rip open the rapper with her teeth which was quite literally the hottest thing he's ever seen. she found his gaze, silently asking permission to touch him. 

when he nodded samy's hand slowly wrapped arpund his length. her hand was enough to make him jump, "fuck." 

the precum oozing from the pretty tip was helpful as lube. as samy's thumb rubbed along the slit, will's head tipped back, eyes squeezing shut this time and his hands gripping the bedsheets. 

"so, so pretty, will," the brunette praised earning a large blush on his cheeks. 

"you think so?" he managed to get out through breathy pants. 

"mhmm. you're so big," when he found her gaze again the boy nearly lost it. she looked at him through hooded eyses, a mix of love and lust in her features. 

once will had enough, samy slowly slid the condom down. the plastic material caused a stutter in his hips and a small curse leaving his lips at his girlfriend's gentle touch. she fell back onto the bed, ushering the boy to follow her lead. 

he hovered over her, their breaths mixing together in slightly nervous pants. will's cock throbbed at the feeling of samy's entrance so close, yet he never broke eye contact. "just go slow and not rough," the girl explained. 

"right, of course," will nodded. 

he took ahold of his length, carefully directing it to samy's hole. the boy bit his lip, the anxiety bubbling in his stomach that he wouldn't do it right. the further he pushed his hips forward, the more his tip slid into samy. 

they let out loud moans at the first contact. "oh fuck," the boy moaned out. 

"like that, will. feels good," samy encouraged, gripping onto his biceps. 

he pushed himself further in, resisting every urge to thrust in, but his self-control was slipping fast. finally, he bottomed out. a mix between a sigh and groan escaped both of their lips. samy wrapped her legs around will's while they took a second to adjust. 

god, he felt even better inside of her. will thought the same as samy's walls squeezed every inch of his length along with his need to cum already. 

"whenever your ready," samy rubbed his back in soothing circles. 

"yeah, in a second. fuck, you feel so good," the boy muttered out. a thin line of sweat glistened across his forehead and at every inch where they were connected and touching. 

everything was so overwhelming for the hockey player. samy's boobs pressed against his chest, her legs wrapped around his, her squeezing him like her life depended on it. 

finally, will found it in himself to slowly start moving. he carefully raised his hips until just the tip was inside before pushing back in. 

"yeah, shit. so good," samy's praises fueled will's confidence as he picked up his pace little by little. 

"mm, fuck. you feel incredible. you're so beautiful," will rambled through his immense pleasure. 

he found a good speed while samy tried meeting his thrusts as well. the room filled with sounds of their sex and fuck, did they really hope no one walked by her room. 

will definitely wasn't going to last long. samy knew that based on how sensitive he was and the way his cock throbbed inside of her every time she squeezed a bit harder. the boy hid his face in the crook of her neck as his panting increased and incoherent thoughts tumbled from his lips. 

"oh fuck. fuck. yeah, mm—not gonna last," he managed through broken pants. 

"it's okay, you can cum," samy squeezed his shoulders. 

"want you to cum too," will had enough mind and knowledge to know that samy needed pleasure and a release too. 

he stuck his one hand between them, remembering from another teammate where the clit was. his fingers quickly rubbed it in fast circles wanting samy to release before he did despite his stittering hips and need to cum so close. 

samy's own hips stuttered at will's touch. she bit hard on his shoulder, trying to keep quiet as her climax approached. the pleasure overtook the pain, so will hardly felt a thing. 

"yeah, fuck. right there. keep going. don't stop." 

"god, i'm so fucking close. gonna make me cum. please tell me you're close," will urged, not sure how much longer he could hold back his load. 

"so close, will. keep going, please," the brunette nodded, voice high-pitched and squeaky. 

the dam broke. samy's climax hit her hard, her back arching off the bed further into will's chest. he wasn't far behind, spilling into the condom with the uncontrollale thrust of his hips and the string of curse words leaving his lips. 

"oh god, fuck. oh fuck," will collapsed, sweaty and spent. 

his hips continued in little stutters with a bit of aftershock. samy wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders as his face hid in her neck trying to regain his lost breath. 

"did so, so good will. so good," the girl praised, kissing the side of his head. 

"best first time ever," the blonde sighed. 

he finally lifted his head to meet her gaze. his curls stuck to his sweaty forehead, but the smile never left his lips. samy just giggled, "glad you think so." 

will slowly pulled out, groaning at the feeling of his cock slipping out. he pulled the condom off, placing it in the trash before laying back down and scooping samy into his arms. 

"not so bad, right?" the brunette raised her eyebrow. 

"with you, it was perfect," his words made her flush. gentle kisses were placed against her skin trying to savor everything from the best moment ever. 

[takami-takami]

Idk! Not sure how to tag this so I'm just putting it under the cut. Trauma and mental illness discussed in the post. Emeto. So heads up! 👍

I feel so much fucking pressure to keep this page a happy place swimming in skittles or whatever the fuck when on the inside I am overflowing with rage and disgust and angst and want to write about the most disgusting shit to get it out. ^u^ I need to write my comfort man comforting through The Bugs but I am so afraid of looking weird! So instead I just keep writing what's easy (smut).

It's not like I haven't written about it before (see the trauma drabbles under the "thoughts" tab and also alley cat and also— and especially— happy birthday. For mental illness, I've written about that too). I have a couple drabbles on it, and people are usually so nice about it/send asks saying "wow V I liked that one!" after.

But I need to write like, reader having an actual fucking ptsd episode and think about how Kei' would handle that. I need to write about mental illness.

Because as it stands, it's like. There are sooooo many aspects of trauma I can explore that are uncomfortable and raw but I refrain from doing so for fear of being... the only one who experiences this.

Anyway. I need more fics like Happy Birthday where he straight up vomits in a trashcan but with reader. Ya dig?

There's no shame in mental illness but at the same time, it's hard out here.

[gaykey]

I'm glad someone is finally talking about age differences between bl characters/actors... I feel like if it was het pairings people would protest. idk who the people you mentioned are but I'm watching kp and the kimchay parts make me v uncomfortable! I was hoping they would fix the original plot, say by making Kim wait until Porschay is older. It'd still be grooming-adjacent but in their case it was the younger person pursuing the older one so it's not as gross, even tho Kim is a manipulative creep ("detective").

It feels unnecessary, especially since it's so unrealistic. While Chay's crush on his idol is 1000% plausible, Kim's feelings are not. I'm the age that Kim is supposed to be and while I can imagine thinking Chay is adorable, it is only in the way that a puppy can be adorable. He's a child, there's nothing in him that someone my age would want in a partner. He's popular, he could have anyone, so why would he choose a highschooler? I think this is made even worse by the fact that the actor's age gap is even bigger while the younger one is still underage 😐

(Sorry for such a long ranty ask 😅 i hope you have a good day today!!)

i'd say it's something that actually gets brought up quite a lot? i mean, not enough but still

yes, i see people shipping actors that have way too big of an age gap for it to be appropriate but, there are definitely people that aren't ok with it

i wouldn't say it happens too much? most companies have their actors in age appropriate couples, from what i've seen. but zeenunew, maxnat...........yikes.

yeah, about kimchay...iiiiii ah, i'm not a fan. they're cute i guess, but i watched their little part in last ep through my hands because i was so worried they were gonna have them kiss.

but, they have kept it pretty pg thankfully, and i think they'll continue to keep it that way.

also, originally the part of porchay was meant to be played by gameplay, who's worked with jeff and is the same age as him (well a year younger but).

but, after all the production company drama, he couldn't be on the show anymore, so they recast the role, and barcode got it.

the entire crew & cast are so good with making him comfortable, and safe, and everything age appropriate for him though. they really do well by him, which should be the standard, but unfortunately isn't always.

in terms if the actual story though yeeeeeah it's? i too don't get what kim could see in chay beyond being a sweet younger friend.

but?????

that's just the plot - and kimchay is a loved couple from the novel so it's not like they coukd just get rid of it.

[eggs-can-draw]

proper warnings for LHS: incest in Tsumugi's, rape in Korekiyo's, rape with the intent to baby trap in Miu's, abuse of authority to force consent aka another rape in Angie's, somnophilia in Himiko's (it's on her request, but she's asleep when he's expected to y'know), idk how bad that one actually is bc I didn't watch hers, just saw people talk about it and how the girl being asleep is apparently popular with lolicons. Tenko is having a severe episode of internalized homophobia trying to convince herself she wants to have sex with him, but keeps automatically flipping him when he tries to touch her and she doesn't let him quit trying so she just beats him up. Kokichi pushes Shuichi on the bed and runs away, calling the whole thing off because Shuichi told him to wait and looked uncomfortable for a moment. Kiibo just wants to hold hands. Rantaro is being aroace and mysterious, as he does. Kaede wants to lose her v card on an anniversary date of some months, but it stays mostly cute unlike others that wanted sex and the rest stays innocent if I remember correctly And here's a fic of Ouma going through this but being able to escape all the sex and awkwardness Shuichi wasn't able to, but don't read it before you're done with ch3 bc it was going through people in the order that would spoil the deaths for that chapter and it stopped getting updated before it reached ch4 victim, it's mostly a comedy, but Hoshi's chapter was super comforting to me https://archiveofourown.org/works/13402614/chapters/30704586

OMG THANKS DUDE ACTUAL LIFESAVER Also oooooooooo that fic looks really interesting, I'll be sure to give it a looksie once I'm finished w/ the chapter :)

[aylaaescar]

6, 14, 17, 20, 23-26 for Briony/Odelina

thank you Karolina!! <3

6. Do they have pet names for each other? Do they like them?

I bet they do, buuut I haven't thought of anything specifically skdfgjsg Odelina strikes me as somebody to call her partners "babe," but idk if that would be immersion breaking? Briony seems more the type to enjoy "sweetheart" and "darling." and yes, they both like them :') OH actually I thought of one: Odelina would v affectionately call Briony "my girl," but only if Briony herself was into that.

14. What little things remind them of each other?

for Odelina about Briony: the color pink, swords/swordsmen ("HA, you've got NOTHING on my girl"), cherry blossoms, sweet smells, a happy voice and cheerful greetings.

for Briony about Odelina: the color green, bows and arrows/archers ("my girlfriend could DESTROY you"), mirrors, smirks, pranks.

17. Do they believe in marriage?

they do! idk how far off it is in their timeline, but I totally see them getting married someday. Odelina will 100% tear up when that day comes, I assure you.

20. If they disagree, who's usually the one to compromise?

it depends on the fight, I think? but I would actually give this to Odelina, more often than not, and she's deliberately beating Briony to the punch bc she knows that Briony is kind of a people pleaser. if she's gotten her upset, Odelina would rather own up to it and be the first to bend instead of worrying whether Briony is because she hates confrontation, if that makes any sense?

23. What was their first impression of each other?

Briony: dang girl nice buns

jk jk, okay but on Odelina's end: basically "woW she's cute 😳" from word go, bc it's Briony and she's cute. her second impression after that: "she seems way too sweet to be a gladiator. what's up with her?"

on Briony's end: "who is that? why are they here? I should go say hello!", or so I imagine lol

24. How did they fall for each other?

idk if there would've been any one big event, so much as just a bunch of little things over the course of getting to know each other? I would say that in general, Odelina fell in love with how strong Briony is, in every sense of the word - like the super strength is obvious (and SUPER hot, to Ode), but also her kindness and optimism even in the face of awful conditions. how she doesn't know who she is but she doesn't let that stop or define her; Briony makes herself every day, and Odelina loves that about her.

Briony, I think, would've fallen for how unapologetic Odelina is? not the parts where she's bluntly rude (unless they both agree the other party just had it coming imo lol), but like. Odelina knows who she is, what she's good at, how she's feeling, and she doesn't apologize for that, because why should she? idk if this qualifies as answering the question lol but yeah

25. Who said "I love you" first?

I could honestly give this to either one of them, since they're both so open w their emotions that I feel like it's a matter of who beat the other to it? but for the sake of answering, I think I'll give this to Briony, because Odelina knows about her insecurities about her lost memories and the "what if there's somebody I already love but can't remember" feelings, so she wouldn't want to make Briony uncomfortable w how she feels.

26. How are they with PDA?

neither of them are shy about it, like they'll freely hold hands and kiss and cuddle in front of others - I'm p sure Odelina just makes herself right at home curled against Briony when the gang is hanging out together. but I don't think they'd be like... sloppily making out in public or anything haha, so they're still considerate about it.

[magnoliamyrrh]

Hey, sorry, just adding on to the pile of stories from the Balkans. I also grew up with family groping me and being uncomfortable with it, but never being allowed to say anything against it. My mother and father often made sexual comments about me, or when I went through puberty they would occasionally grab at my breasts and butt and comment on them. It's mostly stopped now, thankfully. It always felt so invasive and in general I hated how much focus there was on if I was growing up beautiful or not. My grandparents often did so as well. Whenever I would try to make any of them stop, show discomfort, or have a negative reaction I would get treated as if there was something wrong with me and I was being rude. Looking back I can't believe just how much we have made this sort of behavior normal. Ugh. Family members should not be calling children sexy under any circumstances. There is no possible reason for there to be discussion around a kids genitals. This should not be normal and so many of us shouldn't have stories like this. I'm glad to hear other's speak of it but it has made me so disgusted. We really are taught to ignore any bounderies

heyo anon <3 no need to apologize. yea its.. jfc. this whole thing has left me disgusted too. and frankly, baffled. i just feel so baffled. i keep trying to wrap my head around all of it, try to make some damn sense of how and why, and yet all it leads me too is just.... bafflement and being grossed out. when i asked on here if anyone knew what i was talking about i was not expecting this many ppl to get it. i wasnt sure if anyone would get it

im sorry u went through this, it really is a fucked up way to grow up. and the gaslighting that goes on - bc i rly do think thats what it is - tends to rly mess with your head. its immensely messed up that somehow in all this its children who keep being blamed and made to feel bad for.. v much having normal reactions to things. its a very jarring feeling to know something is just.. wrong. and not be allowed to feel that way. im sorry again that you were put through this, tho i am glad its no longer going on; i hope eventually you'll be able to heal from it all <3

and youre right. were very much taught to not have any sort of bounderies with our bodies. weather its this shit or the beatings or generally being treated as if were property, were really raised to not have much of a say.... it sets a very bad precedent and teaches a very bad and dangerous lesson

i was thinking abt this last night actually. when i was around seven or eight i would spend a lot of time with my cousin at my uncles house. he was some years older than me, by five i think. we used to get along well because i was a tomboy and he didn't make fun of me for it, he liked it. but i remember this one time he started showing me sexual games on the computer they had, some game in which you would give virtual money to a woman to see more of her naked, and it just made me feel so gross. i never looked at him the same, i felt he thought women were just pieces of meat. other times i remember laying in bed with him and he would want me to show him what's under my clothes, though he never took it further than that i don't think. he would occasionally grope at me but basically everyone did that anyway. i remember being upset with him, and him taking me to the candy shop down the street to make up for it

i always wondered if he had been abused first because i found out later his dad had molested another family member of mine. but looking back maybe it was the things he saw on the internet or from other boys. anyway, i tried to tell my mother and grandmother about it but they never took it seriously. never even scolded him. "boys will be boys" mentality and i was told i was being dramatic and shouldn't take it to heart because it's normal for boys to do things like that sometimes. it was normal to be felt up by family in general i guess bc. idk this culture is a fucking nightmare sometimes. now when i see him we just pretend it never happened i guess. it really is fucked up how much this sort of behavior is normalized, excused, and frankly defended at the expense of the saftey and comfort of kids... like what lesson does this teach other than, its ok to let people do whatever they may please with you, regardless of how much you dont like it? it must be some form of grooming i swear to god

[butyoumakemesohot]

if i have to read another st/eddie fic where everyone is grossly mischaracterized (esp. steve) i'm going to lose my mind <3

like... steve is canonically a smoker and it is said in the show that he likes to party/drink/get high. he's not some innocent little baby; he was literally the most popular guy in school at some point! also. the man fucks. idk why the whole "bitchless steve" phenomenon is so popular in fanon because he is literally pulling babes left and right. so to imply that he'd be uncomfortable with exploring his sexuality is very strange to me tbh. especially after he was so laid back when robin came out to him!

also... there's no way eddie is a dom. i'm sorry. he's literally a loser (affectionate) and while i realize he's outgoing and likes to flirt with steve, i can almost guarantee that if steve actually flirted with eddie back, eddie would become extremely flustered. i’m not saying he’s a virgin or anything but bffr.

it probably seems like i'm trying to turn this into some big issue but i promise i'm not trying to attack anyone! i know that fanfiction is just for fun and that people can interpret characters however they want and it's really not that deep. it's just v strange to me that so many people completely turn these characters' personalities on their heads when their personalities in canon are already really fun and interesting!!!

[ultrvmonogamy]

https://www.tumblr.com/ultrvmonogamy/739438281616474112/person-follows-me-person-messages-me-wondering-abt

I’m pretty sure, based on our very brief interaction, and your cold responses, that this is about me. And the reason I unfollowed you is because I could sense I was making you uncomfortable.

For the record, I had been following you for a long time, from every iteration of my blog. You just never noticed me. I ever sent you an ask when I first discovered you like over a year ago about your knives. I wasn’t hiding. I was just a girl with a longtime crush who was nervous to talk to you and didn’t know what to say.

I just wanted you to know that.

oh goodness. okay, well, if that post related to u, then i'm not rly sure what to tell u. from my perspective that was a v unnecessary n weird sequence of interactions from beginning to end, n i don't at all feel like i was the source of that weirdness.

to be fair, i am frequently awkward n am well capable of creating weirdness, n so i do have some sympathy towards that too. still, that was extra weird to me, especially considering one of the first two or three posts on ur blog at that point, which was clearly abt me. u say i was cold, n that's ofc v subjective, but i do recall explaining to u that i was v leery of following/interacting w ppl i don't know and why (or smth to that effect).

soon after that, u were asking me to identify someone's blog, which is in my eyes a pretty big ask. i was actually happy that i couldn't have done so even if i'd wanted to, bc i'd checked just a day or so earlier n it appeared to be gone. also, if u've been following me for quite awhile, u've likely seen me mention that i am loathe to discuss other ppl in such a manner, and i avoid doing so unless it seems absolutely necessary. regardless, i gave u a truthful answer that it no longer exists as far as i know, to which u replied (iirc) with just 'ok'. i literally do not know how to process that in any manner that draws from me a reply. i mean cognitively fr. maybe in ur mind that response required a reply in turn, idk.

anyway, i try to respond to most of the dms i receive, but i tend to lose track bc they're quickly buried by others, n from my perspective the next thing i knew of u was that u had unfollowed me. i don't how much time passed in between. a week? almost certainly less than a month, i think. whatever the case may be, it felt overall like a confusing n pointless exercise that i had been put thru, n that i had neither initiated nor terminated but rather had been subjected to. at some point i vented abt it as representative of smth more general. enough ppl seemed to relate that it lent me or maybe rather affirmed my perspective in a manner that i appreciated. i did not intend it as a personal attack on u, n i do feel for u that to u it seemed that way.

i do not mean to discount how that made u feel, but i think this likely stems from holding on to a longtime crush in silence for someone who u do not actually know at all on the internet. probably even the sense of my responses being cold relates to having developed what amts to a one-sided relationship n thereby developing some unnatural sense of expectation for a level of intimacy w someone who may not even know u exist let alone feel some special warmth towards u. i do not wish this experience for u or for anyone else, but from my side it does not exactly feel appropriate to put me thru the other side of it either, n i may sometimes vent abt that for my own health as well as for other ppl that might be going thru the same kinds of things.

i hope that makes sense, and i wish u well.

[dzpenumbra]

4/30/23

Last night was difficult.

I don't think I mentioned it in my journal, maybe I did and I don't remember, idk, I'm going to tell the story anyway. I was watching a Red Dead stream last night and a girl who had been a subscriber in that channel for 7 consecutive years accidentally wrote a private message into the Twitch chat. And I mean really private.

(side note - ctrl+b, which is used for bold is right between ctrl+v [paste] and ctrl+n [new window in chrome]. And the undo on Tumblr is fucked. So... just... gonna point out how frustrating and inconvenient that is if you just slightly miss the b key and suddenly you either have a new window pop up or a paragraph of text just appears.)

This chick posted about like... really bad medical news. Like organ disease news. That she got that day. And she immediately asked mods to delete it, because she couldn't. And no one did. And there were like over 1000 people in there. And then these assholes started copying and pasting her message. At first just one. Then one who spent "channel points" to actually highlight the copied message. Then like 5 more. It... was really disturbing. Like... I struggle to see any humor in it, and I have a pretty open mind about humor. It really felt like someone saying "haha look, this chick has cancer!" As though... anyone is going to laugh about that...

Now... I know a thing or two about humor. Humor used to be my primary coping mechanism. And most humor is just that, it's a way of diffusing something incredibly uncomfortable or painful, and transforming it into something funny, something palatable. Something positive, even. And sometimes that can be a... compulsion for some people, a reflex, that they're not even really conscious of. But there's a skill to doing that. It takes effort, it takes practice, it takes skill. And there is nothing... buckle the fuck up, I'm going loud here... THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING LAZIER THAN COPYING AND PASTING SOMETHING AND CALLING IT FUNNY. <catches breath> Okay, just had to get that out. People man, I just don't understand. Do these fucking imbeciles really lack the brain cells to understand that making a joke about a serious medical condition should... I dunno... maybe be handled a little more tactfully than treating it like retweeting a fucking meme or something?

Again, I am not against jokes that test the line, and even outright cross it. At all. Pushing those boundaries is important, in its own way. But there's a goddamn reason why we only had one Don Rickles. There's a reason we had one South Park. One Jackass. There is an art to pushing boundaries, and it requires skill, charisma and confidence. And these people had none of the above. They were just... schoolyard bullies, trying to impress other schoolyard bullies. They were literally grown-ass schoolyard bullies, likely piss drunk at 4AM, watching a 38 year old man pretend to be a cowboy in a video game, and stumbled across what was pretty obviously a private message between a long-standing paying community member and likely a family member... and they decided they wanted to pants her in front of class. Like... this is a fucking cartoon of schoolyard bully behavior. And people were fucking laughing! People were like... chuckling and going along with it

I... I pulled up a private message to her. And I typed out "hey, what they're doing is really not cool and I'm really sorry all this is happening to you. It's really fucked up." And... I didn't send it. Any other lifetime, I would have sent it. But I didn't. And I don't even know why I don't anymore. I definitely didn't stand up for her in chat. I didn't even support her behind closed doors. But when she put a message in chat saying it was fucked up? I immediately tagged her and sent a heart emoji, like... lightning speed, to show she has my support. I just... I feel bad. It's self preservation, it has to be. Like... I don't want this mob turning on me... So I don't stick up for the grown adult that's being bullied by grown adults. Because there are people there whose job it's supposed to be to moderate that, and they were asleep at the wheel, and... I didn't want to overstep, and they sure as shit won't respect my opinion if I don't have a sword icon next to my name.

And the streamer, when he noticed? He chuckled. And was like, "come on guys, knock it off..." Like... it was a bunch of kids playing in the backyard by throwing knives at the dog or something, and that's his response. It made me super uncomfortable. That and the shit that went down in his Discord? Blatantly saying "we're mob-mentality around here, okay?" And the Native American character he made, and how... really insensitive he was with it... and how he pretty obviously got reported several times on it but straight up lied to his audience about it and has doubled-down so many times I can't even count. "Nah nah nah, Moondance isn't going anywhere guys, I'll play him whenever I want, I just don't feel like it tonight..." RIIIGHHHTTT... I just... I'm really turned off by it.

Fuck the internet, man. The internet is very blatantly advertising directly to children, who are the most profitable demographic on the internet, if you weren't aware... and Twitch specifically has developed a wagering system with fake internet points that you accumulate by spending time watching a streamer (more time = more ads = more $$ for Twitch = more fake points for the kids). And they call them. Get this. Tell me this isn't disgustingly corporate Amazon cliché. They call them "Predictions". It's not gambling marketed towards children to keep them on a website that makes money off of feeding them ads, no no no, it's placing a wager on a "Prediction". I'm not gambling on what the outcome is, with a payout ratio identical to a fucking horse track, nope, I'm just predicting what the outcome is going to be and if I get it right I get a neat prize! They specifically market their site to children. How have they not gotten this shut down yet?!

Okay, got a bit of that out of my system. Why the fuck am I telling this story from last night? Well... I had a night terror. I got about 4-5 hours of sleep, and I had a super intense nightmare. It was very vivid, but I didn't remember much except for the last bit. And... it took me a bit of journaling (I did dream journal, so yay on that) to really start to understand what it was about. I might as well paint a picture for you, it was super vivid and deeply meaningful for me.

I was in a location that represented my parents' basement. I grew up in that house from the ages of 11-18, very formative years. My parents are closeted hoarders, they hide it well. The basement was where everything went. I was down there with someone else, I don't remember who it was. I had found a book that was for me, that I felt bad I hadn't read because, when I was down there and started reading it, it was really interesting. It was part of a series, and it was an exploration and interpretation of the Bible through historical record, plausible science and comparison with other cultural ideologies/mythologies. It was... really cool, and right up my alley. Almost like something I would write, if I felt qualified. I read the part about Genesis I and as I was reading... I got that thing I get sometimes where the mental imagery gets really vivid. And this moment was really disorienting in a dream, and is even disorienting just trying to process how it even happened, because I was... dreaming... which is my imagination, my subconscious mind... and then within that dream I was reading a text and... my subconscious in the dream was conceptualizing the text visually. It was like a Russian Nesting Doll of subconscious visualization, it's absolutely mind-boggling that that's even possible. And this visualization was... essentially an early proto-Earth colliding with a very water-dense celestial object. My brain interpreted this very metaphorically, like big blob of water. And then the combination of these two qualities ended up nurturing an environment like hydrated and nutrient enriched soil. Again, a metaphor, like... water and collision were huge components in setting off the chain reaction that resulted in... life. And... there was some part in the text that was referring... where either that water-dense body or the proto-Earth likely came from. I don't really remember the details on that.

And then... after that... I remember the person I was with upsetting the streamer (who was there with a bunch of his friends in-character), and they left. And after I read and visualized all of that, as though I had read it out loud... he kinda knew. Honestly, I'm struggling to remember it, I'm going to get the journal real quick to refresh.

Okay, it looks like even in the journal right after I woke up I wasn't sure what had upset the streamer and the people he was with. I was reading that passage in the book in the moments leading up to him getting upset and leaving. The book had this section in it that was like MadLibs... like a simple mini-test to sorta... jog and concretize your memory of what the previous passage was about, so you could sorta... use your own brain to make the connections rather than just reading his wording. So, like... I wasn't sure if I upset him, or he witnessed the surreal visual experience I had and it upset him (because it was super vivid, like panic attack vivid, and very emotional), or maybe he knew what I read and that upset him? Maybe I accidentally read out loud and didn't realize? Or... maybe the person I was with upset him... Which, with this much time between me and the dream, seems like the most likely factor... But, either way, he got upset and left. Then... I could sorta... sense through the ceiling and walls in an almost x-ray kinda way that he was like... glaring at me. In a... judgmental, suspicious, skeptical way. In a "I'm on to you..." way. In a witch-hunty Inquisition kinda way. And that set off a massive panic response that immediately woke me up.

You know what? I reflected on this when I woke up, and it's actually really well put for 4 hours of sleep coming out of a panic attack. <pats self on back> So I'm just gonna transcribe it. Fuck it.

"I felt like I needed to impress him, and like I fucked up... which was embarrassing but passed quickly... but that turned into... genuine concern that I was in danger. Like lynching kinda danger, mob violence danger. And that's because I witnessed that last night. And the chick who was being bullied? She was like me. This crowd? These streamers? I keep gravitating towards confident bullies. Andrew Santino types. They're very talented, but their skill is a coping mechanism developed through trauma and conflict. Unprocessed trauma, typically. Because the coping mechanism is their greatest gift, and really their whole life and identity are built on it. I gravitate towards that talent. Being this aware of how these people think (because I was one of them) and how much influence they have, how followers will blindly obey them and they have thousands, made me scared of... as that guy so poetically said in my Twitch chat "(being) thrown in a river with a mill stone tied to (me)." For learning, and exploring ideas that they may consider heretical. But, more specifically, sharing them and being associated with them."

So... you can imagine how hard writing a journal entry like this can be sometimes. It feels really serious and risky, and really silly at the same time. It's not like the context I'm referring to is even... heretical, really... if anything it's trying to prove the Bible's validity! But... I've just seen a lot of dark shit in my study of humanity. A lot of dark, ignorant, zealous things that people do. And seeing that mob mentality last night? It just brought me back to that same old familiar fear. And that shit sticks, and can be hard to shake.

I'm getting really tired, so I want to kinda wrap up, so let me get to the crux of all of this.

Besides the obvious, this journal and this post, why would I be so anxious about sharing my personal beliefs publicly? 1). Family-induced trauma, let's just get that out of the way, so that explains the life-shattering severity. But the focus - I made my desire path project public today. I posted it. It was my only goal for the day. And I did it.

I put it on YouTube. It currently has 3 views and no one has watched it all the way through. I fucking hate analytics and I don't want to watch them anymore. So fucking stupid, as though you have any control over whether people give a fuck about your work. Yikes.

Then, I went into this whole pros and cons list of posting the full project on Instagram. Insta won't let you link shit, and I wanted to keep my videos all on YT because... habit, I guess? Maybe because my Rimworld series is still over there and I was hoping someone might actually give a fuck about that again someday. But after a long time going over it, I decided instead of trying to direct people to go to my profile, then go to my YT link... fuck that. I'm just going to post it there in full, too. And I did. And the grand reception? I got 2 likes. And a comment from my former "best friend", my former goddaughter's mother. And I do appreciate the sentiment. It's just been hard to process those memories.

I always wanted to be a dad. And in my 20's, I got to be her nanny for most of the week when she was around 1 year old. I was working nights and inverting my sleep schedule to drive up an hour each way to watch her during the week. I still have a picture from when I got there one day and comedically, melodramatically collapsed onto the couch in exhaustion and actually fell asleep with my legs hanging in the air off the couch and shit, right next to my goddaughter who was also passed out. And she fired me. Because I didn't "take her outside enough", which she never instructed me to do or taught me how to do. Not to mention the fact that she never paid me once, and I just... didn't ask for money? Because I was trying to be nice? Because both her and her husband were like... not parenting their infant child and just going and working jobs instead, while I watched their kid for them.

Meh, enough about that. See what it does to my head though? Nostalgia is nice... sometimes... but it can be bitter, and if you have an especially dicey past, it can turn sour real quick. So... I do appreciate her sentiment, she left a really kind compliment that seems sincere. And the emotional processing from the past? That's my job, I gotta just remember... that's in the past. I just... I feel bad for my goddaughter, and I miss her. She was the closest thing to a daughter I've ever had, besides my dog and cat, of course. The closest thing to a human daughter I've ever had. And she may not have a great role model for like... healthy emotional regulation. And I worry about her. And I do kinda feel like... that's kinda part of the godfather thing, to step up and like... be there. But at this point? I was envisioning this when I was making dinner. I feel like if I ever even do that, I'm going to be the uncle or aunt figure at the family dinner that they haven't seen in 10 years and pulls the teenage kid aside and goes "you know, I used to change your diapers, do you remember me? No? It's okay, well... if you ever need to like... talk or anything, I'm always here for you." And they'll wince through the awkwardness and then go off and play something on their phone and sigh and mutter "weirdo". But like... is it worse to not even try?

That's a quandary for another day, I just went down that line of thought because I was kinda imaginatively strategizing what might happen if my former friend messaged me. To... prepare myself.

So yeah, lots of ups and downs today. Sleep deprivation, panic, nap, social media strategy, posted the video, made dinner, watched streams, Risk of Rain, journal, and off to bed we go.

Gonna try to sneak a quick shower in before bed, screw it, see if that helps with more relaxing sleep.

To end on a more uplifted note... The Path was one of the more ambitious projects I've taken on. It was very new, super conceptual, very "risky" regarding whether anyone would "get it", also very tedious and demanding. I did the 100 runs in Minecraft, with 3 screenshots per run. I hand-drew each path, twice. I animated each path individually. I composed, played and recorded 12 minutes of original music for 4 guitars, bass and drums. I wrote the script, I recorded the voiceover (on Easter day!). I hand-drew and animated the parts of the voiceover that I couldn't really figure out what to put under, as though they were being drawn on a whiteboard. I shot cinematic B-roll in Minecraft, Google StreetView and a real life National Park. I edited it all together.

And now... it's done.

Fuck crowd reception, this was months in the making. I am goddamn proud of myself.

[cat--boy]

ik this might not mean much to you as it looks like i am only saying this because prompted but like. you are hot. you've posted pics of yourself before and just akjsdhfjkdh. like yes the outfit is cool because that's mainly what you post about w/ your selfies but. no matter what u wear u could prolly pull it off v well honestly. i'm sorry if i sound vague i dont want to make you feel uncomfortable.

idk, anyway you, like you no matter what outfit ur wearing, you could be wearing a nun outfit for all ik, are absolutely stunning and i'm goig to beat up whoever thinks otherwise..

😭😭😭 aw thank you anon actually like i appreciate this so much ♡♡♡

[savoryscribbles]

Whoever I Want Reacting to You Wearing Revealing Clothes

A/N: Ello!!! had this idea for awhile now, so here it is! I tried to make these as long as possible, but idk I just couldn't come up with a lot for some of them, srry.

I'm also not comfortable with anyone reading this who's below the age of 16-17ish cause it's heavily suggestive.

Also, reblog please? Let's me know you all actually read/like the content I make

Genshin Masterlist | Writing Masterlist

Parings: Zhongli, Childe, Albedo, Gorou, Thoma, Scara, & Xiao x gn(ish)!reader

CW/Content Warnings: uses the word "chest" but in those situations they could definitely be read as like a flat chest, swearing, mentions of food in Thomas, spoilers for Sangonomiya's story quest(Gorou's), light mentions of murder(it's an off handed joke)(Scara's), general mentions of them dying because of your hotness

Tags: spicyyy, fluff, men admiring your body(consensually), shyTM boys, ur kinda a little shit in Scaras

Zhongli:

Pretends not to notice

Like you'll arrive on your date with your chest almost fully exposed and he'll still be talking about his damn Othmanthus wine

It's a different story if you point it out, simply "do you like my outfit?" Or "I wore something a little out of my comfort zone, I hope you like it?" He loves it trust me.

He will reassure you, he just didn't want to make you uncomfortable, so he tried to avoid staring as much as possible. But if you give him permission?

Oh ho ho, this man will not take his eyes off you, even if he's talking about his day, or rocks, or really whatever, he'll just be looking at you up and down.

It's not like a hungry gaze though? It's more like a deep appreciation, it's not filled with lust, it's more a 50/50, it obviously has some lust in it, but that doesn't overpower the sheer amount of love this man has for you.

Won't touch you, even if you tell him it's okay. Thinks that's something to do in private, or at least, farther away from people. Not in a tight packed restaurant.

Childe:

Hand; all over you.

Obviously they wouldn't be if you were uncomfortable. But if you are comfortable with it... there's no getting away from him(you can't escape debt). If you're eating dinner, his hand won't leave your thigh, and if you both take a stroll afterwards, instead of his hand being in yours, as it normally is, it's found wrapped snuggle around your waist, rubbing gently up and down.

If you two share a kiss, he's hands might wonder further, running up your thigh, it's definitely gonna end steamy. Who could blame him? His partner just looks so good tonight, and he's the one and only person who gets to indulge in them? Sign him up!

Will complement you endlessly "your outfit fits you perfectly love." Will mumble under his breath "remind me to contact a tailor." Wants more outfits like these, where he can see you, feel you, hold you.

Oh and if anyone tries to cat call you, their name might end up on Wangsheng's lists of customers.

Albedo:

Stares, but tries not to get caught(definitely gets caught)

To shy to say he likes your body.

Imagines his hands running all over you.

If you make your way over to him, and ask him about your outfit, he won't be as shy to admit he likes it.

Does get hella blushy tho.

"Sucrose is this what a boner feels like?"

Wants to touch you so bad, but he's afraid he might actually explode.

Will actually explode if you grab his hands to touch you.

Buttttt if you get him alone... things might be a bit different. He will definitely be smirking(like the one in the trailer) and drag his hands up and down your body. Lightly brushing over your sensitive parts(not like your private ones? Like idk the back of your neck or anywhere else that's sensitive)

Gorou:

Blushyest man out here, but I think he's naturally confident, because that's kinda something you need to be a general. So I think he's have the guts to approach you.

He stutters his way through "y-you you look v-very sexyinthatoutfit(you look very sexy in that outfit)!"

He says that then bolts, "Her Excellency had to have written a solution to this somewhere."

All in all he's just afraid to see your negative reaction, even though there isn't one.

You're gonna have to chase him down, cause he really doesn't think he can face you. It's pretty easy to catch up to him though because he didn't expect you to follow him(because let's be honest, you could not outrun this man if you tried).

He thinks your gonna yell at him D: his tail even goes between his legs and he starts apologizing.

"I'm so so so sorry for objectifying you, please forg-" "it's okay Gorou." "-ive.. me, what?" "I said it's okay Gorou, you weren't objectifying me, and thank you, for calling me sexy."

This man is beet red by now, and honestly is incapable of forming a proper sentence, so just kiss him already smfh.

Thoma:

He will literally walk up to you and say this: "Are you a hot pot, cause you are just made of snacks." Tf does that mean Thoma?

He's lucky you love his cornyness.

Overall would be a gentleman, and refrained from touching you, even if you invited him to. As much as he would love to run his hands all over you, he has a status to uphold.

Not really different when you get him alone. The only difference is he'll take you up on your offer, and will gladly run his hands up and down your back.

Scara:

Looks at you for not even a second then turns on his heals and walks out of whatever gathering you both were attending.

You follow him outside, worried if your outfit was to showy.

It's not, he's just a big baby who doesn't want strangers to see him blush. In fact, he won't even admit to you that he's blushing.

"Aw Scara, why's your face bright red?" "Shut up, I will literally kill you." "I doubt that, you look handsome yourself by the way." Stop please, this man will literally combust, I am not joking.

"You're going to pay for this." "You promise?" There's no way in hell either of you are going back to the party.

Xiao:

Are you trying to cause this mans premature death?

This 2000+ y/o adeptus is not prepared to handle you and all your glory. Please don't be surprised if he just evaporates.

You feel like you did something wrong so you try calling for him, "Xiao? Xiao I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He feels kind of guilty because you didn't do anything wrong, you just look, so. damn. hot.

"Hmph, you didn't do anything. You just, look really good." He responds as he reforms on the balcony. And your shocked tbh, you thought he actually left.

He's still not convinced of you tell him it's alright if he looks at you, can't help the guilt build up. But honestly, you just have to reciprocate the same energy, if you look at him as much as he looks at you, he won't feel guilty, just flustered.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 2*

Part 1

Part 3

Y'all IDK what it is about this story but I can just write and write and write. This one ended up being 11 pages [on a google doc] And I only stopped because it's 2:15 am.

I hope you guys like this, but I just want to clarify: This isn't a Barisi fic. I'm sorry, if you're looking for that, just...this isn't it. I mean they do interact and it'll be fun, but they will not be ending up together.

That being said, enjoy this new chapter! I'm debating on how pathetic enamored Sonny is, I don't think I'm gonna go that deep. No worries, people.

As always let me know if you want to be added/deleted off the tag list!! <3

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------

"Y/N, I'm so happy for you and Barba. You make the cutest couple," Sonny beamed at you while you were wrapped in Rafael's arms, huge smiles on all of your faces.

"Thank you Sonny, that means so much." You gave him a warm hug.

"Yeah….and you'll make the cutest couple in HELL!" All of a sudden Sonny pushed both you and Rafael off a cliff.

You were falling to your death when you woke up to your professor glaring at you.

"Have a nice nap, Miss Y/N?" He scowled at you.

"Um," You cleared your throat and straightened up at your desk. "Yes sir,"

"Good," he huffed as he headed to the front of the classroom once more. "Maybe now we can continue without your snoring,"

You heard the students around you snicker at his comments as You sunk lower into your desk and waited for class to end. It had been a long train ride home and then a drive to your apartment last night, you hadn't gotten home until around 2 am and had this 8 am class. As soon as the professor dismissed your class you booked it out of the class and out into the parking lot of your community college.

"Ugh, could this day get any--" before you could even finish your thought you got your answer. Your phone beeped with a text from Rafael:

RAFA: Hey killer, how's the bullshit county? 😉

That was the nice thing, then just as you were about to text him back your phone lit up.

SONNY BOI CALLING

"Shit!" You hissed to no one. "How does he know?!"

"Ahem….Heyyy, cuz," You answered it with your best nonchalant voice. That of course sounded totally chalant.

"Hey sunshine," His voice sounded relaxed, thank God.

"What's up?" You tried keeping your tone light as you neared your car.

"Well y'know I was just thinkin, I feel real bad about standing you up last night,"

"Oh, Son it's no big deal really," the fact that he felt guilty about anything made you feel even more guilty.

"No, I know you have a busy schedule and it takes a lot to get into the City and I just blew you off," He kept on with the guilt train.

"You didn't blow me off Son you had work. I get that--" You unlocked your car and got in, starting it so your windows would thaw. And your whole body.

"Well I wanna make it up to you," He cut you off.

"Oh?" your voice fell short. This couldn't be good.

"Yeah, my boss-- well he's not really My boss but Mr. Barba--"

Oh shit. Barba? Was Barba having a party? Why wouldn't He tell you that? Wait why WOULD he tell you that? Stupid. Wait, what was Sonny saying?

".... birthday, so you could be like my date," you caught the tail end of his invite.

"Birthday?" You repeated like a parrot. It was Barba's birthday? Oh god. You were really trying not to focus on how old he was. Don't ask. For the love of god don't say it Sonny.

"Yeah don't worry you don't need to get him anything, I got it covered," Sonny assured you.

Well, that was one way you could figure out just how much your cousin cared about his "idol". The more expensive the gift, the stronger the feelings were. You wondered whether you should ask him now or wait for the surprise. Maybe you should ask now, then his answer should tell you what you'd be getting into.

*So what did you get this 'non boss' of yours?" You asked slyly.

"Oh," now Sonny's voice dropped. "Well I, I don't wanna say,"

Fuck.

Don't panic. Do not panic.

"Oh come on Sonny," you did your best to keep a joking tone. "What am I gonna do, tell him?"

Should you joke about it? Hidden in plain sight, right?

"No I guess not, it's not like you know him,"

Whew.

"It's just kinda embarrassing…."

Oh god.

"O-Oh?" You tried to stay calm. "Why's that? Is it a gag gift?"

Please be a gag gift.

"Actually it's a new briefcase," He replied.

"Oh why is that embarrassing you goof?” You gave him a hard time. What was that in the emotional baggage department? Pun intended.

"I mean, it's more expensive than the one I own," You could hear the shrug in his voice.

Fuck. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But if you don't ask, that will be even more suspicious wouldn't it?

"Oh Son," You asked softly. "Why would you do that?"

"Well the one he has is as old as dirt, I think it's probably the first one he ever bought. I wanted him to look snazzy in court." He replied with a super eager tone.

"That's sweet," you were pounding your steering wheel in frustration. Say it.

"Seems like a lot of work for a mentor though," You closed your eyes mentally killing yourself.

"Yeah well," he laughed uncomfortably.

Say it.

"Sonny…” You didn’t want to do this.

“Yeah?” He was oblivious.

“You know you can always talk to me,”

“Yeah of course,” He assured you.

“About anything,” You scrunched your nose.

“Yeah I know, sunshine,” He half laughed.

“ANYTHING,” You reiterated

There was a long awkward pause.

“...Sonny?” You made sure he hadn’t hung up on you.

“Yeah, I'm here,” He replied softly.

“So?” You waited for the bomb to drop.

So…. He sighed. "I just want him to like me,"

Dammit.

"....Yeah," You nodded, cursing yourself.

"Yeah, its stupid. I'm stupid." He laughed again.

“You're not stupid,” you laid your head on the steering wheel in shame.” I mean the heart wants what it wants right?”

“What?! Oh my god, Y/N,” He scoffed. “I'm not gay,”

“….Sonny it's 2021,” you shook your head. “Sexuality is a spectrum,”

Right well. He laughed defensively. "I'm on the p in the v scale,"

“Ugh, Sonny,” you made a face.

“Sorry sunshine,” He apologized. “I just...why would you even think that?!”

“Uh…” You paused.

Maybe he wasn't fully aware that he had romantic feelings for Rafael. If you started pointing out the signs, he might realize it. But then you'd have a cousin going through gay panic AND then finding out it doesn't matter anyway.

"No reason," You lied.

"I just want him to like him so he'll give me a good recommendation once I graduate Fordham Law,"

"Oh" you smacked your head. "Duh. Right. Of course,"

That was completely legitimate. Maybe you had been misreading this whole thing. Now you just had the whole overprotective Gotti side of Sonny to worry about.

"Well I guess I could spend the weekend in the city," You shrugged as you pulled out of the parking lot.

“Absolutely!” He exclaimed. “My couch is always open,”

Not exactly where you were thinking of sleeping, but you weren't blowing your cover over the phone. Wait, maybe you should. Then he couldn't kill you over the phone. Wait, he's presumably at work right now. You didn't know how closely he worked with Barba, but you figured it would be a hell of a lot easier for Sonny to get to him before you could stop him from killing Rafael.

"Sure sounds good. I'll see you then cuz,” You smiled and hung up the phone.

------

Friday arrived, and you once again found yourself standing outside Forlini's. You debated heavily whether to go in or not, but you told yourself you were going to wait for Sonny outside this time, no more risking a sexy bar rendezvous.

You hadn’t really responded to Rafael’s texts the last few days, and you certainly didn’t tell him you were coming. Maybe you should have told him. You grabbed your phone to text him when you heard a familiar voice behind you:

“Y/N?”

You spun around to see Rafael dressed to the 9’s, smiling at you. He smelled delicious, mixed with the food aroma wafting out of the restaurant and the smell of freshly fallen snow in New York City.

“...Happy Birthday, Counselor,” You bit your lip nervously.

“W-What are you doing here?” He stared at you as if he thought he was dreaming.

“Sonny invited me,” You nervously smiled.

“Seriously?” He laughed.

“Seriously,” You nodded with a laugh as well.

“Did-- did you say anything to him?” He asked you worriedly.

“Are you insane?!” You hit him. “No!”

“So why did he invite you here?” He asked.

“He said it was to make up for ditching me the other night,” You shrugged.

“...The irony,” He smirked.

“Mmm,” You nodded with an amused smile.

“Well this is a very happy birthday indeed,” He smiled, pulling you closer into his coat similar to the night you had met.

“....Just don’t ask which one it is,” He warned you while staring at your lips deviously.

“Deal,” You nodded in agreement before he pulled you into a hungry kiss.

“DUDE!!” You snapped back before his lips were on yours for more than a millisecond. “Are you nuts?! Sonny’s gonna be here any second!”

“It’s my birthday, carino,” He made a pouty face. “Don’t yell at me,”

“Oh lord,” You rolled your eyes. “Alright, man child,”

He was about to go for another sneaky kiss when you both heard a voice from behind you.

“....Sunshine?”

“Oh!” You jumped ten feet away from Rafael when you turned to see Sonny standing there with a huge gift bag, staring slack jawed at the two of you. “Sonny! I um, we--”

“I was teaching your cousin a lesson in New York safety,” Rafael talked over you, his face completely stone. God he was a good liar.

“Excuse me, counselor?” Sonny raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. You just stared in speechlessness.

“She was standing on this curb holding her bag out for any miscreant on these streets to just wrestle away from her, I was just demonstrating how,” He gestured to your open purse.

“Barba I really think this ain’t that kinda neighborhood,” Sonny half laughed.

“...You never know,” Rafael shrugged. “Now let’s all get inside, I’m sure everyone is anxious to start celebrating me,”

You and Sonny both rolled your eyes with smiles; too similar of smiles, you noticed. Thankfully, he did not. You both followed Rafael back to a private room where a bunch of fancy dressed people were mingling with drinks in their hands while two long empty tables stood in the middle of the room. They all stopped and clapped when Rafael walked in.

“Oh, for me?” He feigned surprise and humility.

“Yeah right Barba,” A woman laughed sarcastically. “You’re the one who invited us here,”

“Touche, Rita,” Rafael smirked as he began making the rounds around the table greeting everyone.

“So are we allowed to eat now, I’m starving,” An older man asked.

“And I’ve got a son waiting,” A red headed woman chimed in.

“Right, right,” Rafael nodded as people began to take seats. “Sorry everyone, you know I love to make a dramatic entrance,”

“Oh trust me we know, Barba,” Another man called. “Your catwalks into the courtroom prove that. I think we have a montage of them,”

“Ha Ha,” Rafael rolled his eyes, then turned to you and Sonny.

“Sonny,” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you sit next to me?”

“R-Really, counselor?” You saw Sonny’s eyes light up like Christmas tree lights.

Fuck. You knew he was only asking him so that you would sit next to him as well. And while you loved the idea, you knew how much this was toying with Sonny’s feelings.

“A-Are you sure, about that Mr. Barba?” You gave him a look.

“Absolutely, Miss-- I didn’t catch your name?” He played it so cool.

“Y/N,” You held out your hand as you re-introduced yourself.

“Right, well--” He shook your hand then turned his attention to Sonny who was still beaming like a kid on Christmas. “I don’t know how much Carisi has told you, but he is quite the promising mentee of mine,”

“....R-Really, Rafael?” Sonny blinked in disbelief, causing Rafael’s smile to falter for a moment. Sonny had never called him “Rafael” before, it was always “Barba”. Shit, maybe he had given him too much praise.

“I mean, you know, for a lap dog,” He quickly added with a snarky tone and a smirk.

“Mr. Barba!” You tried not to raise your voice at the birthday boy. “That is my cousin you’re talking ab---”

“No, no it’s fine Y/N-- th-that’s how we work isn’t it, counselor? He just gives me jabs, I know he doesn’t mean it,” Sonny laughed nervously, staring at the floor. He knew not to get too comfortable with Barba, why did he even try it?

“Indeed,” Rafael nodded in agreement. “But, I still request you sit by me-- at least I know you don't poison my food. Which is more than I can say for many of my esteemed ‘guests’,” He eyed the tables of people before him.

“Then why invite them to your party?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“I get that Jersey doesn’t have the social classes of Manhattan, Miss Y/N,” He smirked. “But here, you’ve got to do things to keep up appearances,”

“Oh do you?” You practically growled.

“Yes,” He nodded while a waiter brought him a glass of scotch. “Even if you don’t like someone, if they serve a purpose for you than you do what you must to keep in their good graces,”

“Oh is that so? So you’re only kind to people who can ‘serve’ you?” You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him.

What kind of Danny Zuko bullshit was this?! This was an entirely different Rafael Barba you had met the other night. He was kind, flirty, endearing. This new Barba was snarky and condescending, and you were not amused at all.

“Y/N, chill,” Sonny hissed at you. “This is just how Barba is, he’s harmless,”

“Yeah well you might not mind being his doormat Sonny, but I sure as hell won’t be,” You angrily stomped off.

“Oh my god,” Sonny muttered, wondering if he should run after you or not. “Barba, I am so so sorry about her,”

“It’s fine, Carisi,” He watched you stomping away, trying to hide the guilt in his voice. He was just trying his best to throw Sonny off the trail. He may have overcompensated just a tad.

“I-I should go check on her, She’s just a kid--”

“No, allow me,” Rafael put a hand to Sonny’s chest. “It was my faux paux, I should apologize to her myself. I was being a bit of an ass,”

“Yeah but that’s just you, Barba,” Sonny chuckled, trying not to blush at Rafael’s hand on his chest.

“True, but I forget not everyone knows me as well as you do, Carisi,” And now he was trying to be extra nice to Sonny to get on his good side, while cluelessly egging on his feelings.

“That is very true,” Sonny laughed even more nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll take a seat and get our drinks ordered,”

“Excellent,” Rafael smiled at him, probably one of five times in the entire time they’d known each other. He gave Sonny one more pat on the back before walking after where you had stomped off to.

He found you right before you hit the front door, his hand catching yours before it could grab the handle. You turned and scoffed at him, your scowl still present after stomping off.

“Oh, come to appease me, counselor? How can I be of service to you?” You snapped.

“Please, Y/N,” He gave you apologetic eyes as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry, I just-- I didn’t want Carisi to think anything was off. He already caught us being handsy, I had to make it look like we disliked each other,” He explained.

“Oh I think you’ve done that above and beyond, jackass,” You huffed. “First I’m too stupid to not get robbed in the city, and then I’m too uncultured to understand ‘high society’ manipulative bullshit?”

“I’m sorry, I may have gone a little over--” He started.

“But that wasn’t even an act, was it?” You interjected angrily.

“What do you mean?” He asked you curiously.

“Your line of you having ‘use’ of a person? I assume that is why you have a room full of powerful people you dislike as opposed to a room full of sycophants?” Yeah, you might just go to community college but you knew big words too.

“I mean, that is how it works--”

“Jesus Christ,” You shook your head with a laugh. “You know I understood for about half a second why my cousin is so infatuated by you, but I am losing that belief real quick,” You turned and started to walk away again.

“Y/N come on,” He grabbed both of your arms this time and pulled you close into him, your noses almost touching.

“Look I’m-- I’m sorry, that I’m---this,” He gestured to himself.

“But that’s just how I have to be in their world,” He gestured back towards the room. “I’m telling you, it’s a room full of sharks. If I show weakness or misstep in decorum, I’m nothing but chum to those people,”

“The guy you met the other night, that’s the real me,” He put a hand to your cheek. “I never get to be that guy, not in public. That’s why I was so attracted to you,” He put his other hand on your waist.

“I don’t have to be ‘Rafael Barba, the snarky ADA with a silver tongue,’ I can just be…’Rafa’,” He gave you an earnestly sad smile.

“I’m sorry,” You blinked in confusion. “I know I’m not helping myself but what exactly is the ‘ADA’?”

Your question brought that familiar amused grin and a laugh. “See, this is what I’m talking about,”

“Oh yeah I know, the ignorant girl you can placate--”

“No,” He put a finger on your lips. “The earnest, normal, gorgeous girl,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m sure if we took a poll in here right now the majority of the room would be with you, not knowing what an ADA is,”

“Which still doesn’t answer the question,” You pointed out.

“I…” He tried to think of a way to explain his role in the Manhattan judicial system. “Well, the DA of the county is like-- the King of Lawyers in that section. Or queen, as my boss is Rita,” He shook his head with a laugh. Oh Rita Calhoun, the stories he could tell about her.

“So, you’re her king?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Eh, I’d say Prince but she’d probably say Jester if she heard this metaphor to be honest with you,”

“Mmm I like that,” You finally let yourself smile at him.

“A Prince?” He grinned.

“The Jester,” You gave him a tongued smile, settling against his chest.

“Well, I’ll gladly take that title if it makes you happy,” He kissed your forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy right now,”

You looked into his green eyes, they were now their usual sparkling green hue, and you remembered very quickly how you had gotten yourself in this mess in the first place. He really was a sweet, charming, gorgeous guy. And then you remembered those were probably all the reasons Sonny fell for him too.

“Ahem.” You straightened up and stepped out of his grasp. “Well, what would make me happy right now is getting back to my cousin,”

“Oh,” Rafael’s eyes softened into a sad gaze.

“Rafael, I think he really likes you,” You bit your lip with guilt. “And you toying with him just now isn’t helping!”

“Toying with him?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion? “I wasn’t toying with--”

“Sit by me, Carisi? You’re important to me, Carisi?” You imitated his questions in a mocking tone.

“I had to ask him that so you would--” He started to explain, but you already knew.

“I know!” You stopped him. “I know, that’s why it’s so fucked!” You put your hands over your face.

“Carino…” Rafael walked over and pulled your hands from your face and held them.

“I’m hurting him every second that I stand here with you, and I--” You bit your lip trying not to cry. “I’m still doing it! I can’t walk away!”

“So don’t,” He squeezed your hands with an even sadder look.

“This is just--” You broke free from his grasp once again and wiped your eyelids. “We need to get back before Sonny comes after you,”

“....So where does this conversation leave us, then?” He asked you cautiously.

“I don’t…” You gazed into his puppy dog emerald eyes. “I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it right now, okay?”

“Fair enough,” He put his hands down in concession. “...But we really need to--”

“Yeah, I know,” You nodded softly as you walked back to the private room, Rafael trailing behind you.

All you could think on the way back was how in God’s name were you going to make it through the rest of the night.

[hella1975]

me asking for relationship advice:

hella ! good day , how do u break up with someone ( they're a good friend and I'm p sure they won't like ??? start hating me n shit and the reason is just that I feel we work better as friends) HOWEEVR THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP AND IT LASTED REALLY LONG (10 MONTHS) AND IDK HOW TO BREAK UP.

also !!! you do not have to answer this, I just kinda see u as a big sister figure ( yes yes parasocial relationship etc etc whatever) and I don't really have a big sister figure irl so here I am,, at 2 am wrktkng into ur little ask box <3 anyways!!! i will figure this out for real and I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable or was too much!!!!! have a good day <33 meow

omg hi! i absolutely don't mind this at all and i actually find it really sweet. im v good at setting my own boundaries but thank you for being careful anyway <3

oof i was actually in this exact same situation a couple years ago. i was really good friends with this one boy, and then when he asked me out i kind of was like 'yeah why not' and it wound up being an 8 month relationship where i knew from DAY ONE that actually i didn't like him like that. i wasn't leading him on per say because that's a shit thing to do, i was just young and hadn't quite figured out the difference between platonic and romantic feelings until i was already dating the guy lmfaoooo. we were incredibly close friends though and i was so scared of losing that that i just didn't say anything, and that's how it wound up going on so long.

so from personal experience, i think dragging it on when you know you want to break up with them doesn't actually benefit either of you. it's scary thinking you might lose them completely, and change isn't very appealing after so long knowing one thing, but at the end of the day, if you truly care about each other in any capacity, then you'll overcome it, and if they genuinely hate you for it, then maybe they weren't someone you want in your life after all. i know for me, when i broke up with that guy, he didn't speak to me for a while and he was very upset, but then we became friends again, and we were closer for it. it was also a VERY funny joke from then on because we were best mates and also exes and the comedic potential of that is god tier.

just don't do anything inadvertently mean for the sake of ease, like breaking up over text! i know a face-to-face conversation like this is hard and UNBELIEVABLY awkward, and there really is nothing you can do to avoid that, but you want to try and leave as little bad blood as possible if you want to stay friends after :)

[gentil-minou]

this might be a random question lol but i thought it would be nice to see your opinion bc you're a ml fan whose opinions I Respect™ v much, but what were your opinions on Mari's attempts to confess in Felix? idk I thought it was one of the most OOC moments for her because she's so kind and caring and compassionate and I thought it was so weird for the writers to go "yk what? she'd totally try to confess at the anniversary of his mom's disappearance." (sorry if you've answered this before!)

Aww, I'm touched you respect my opinion so much! It makes me smile all goofy like. And fun fact I actually rewatched Felix yesterday so I was thinking about this, your timing is impeccable!

I don't think it was ooc because Marinette tends to be impulsive and she has made attempts to confess her love to him in the past that have been thwarted in the past (Puppeteer 2 is the other one I think of where she was just ready to say it) so I can't be too surprised that she tried to confess (spurred on by Tikki, the Evil Tikki theory rides again). Impulsivity is also a characteristic found in ADHD, so again it doesn't surprise me.

I could 100% see the logic in Mari's confession, as what better way to show someone how much you value them by expressing your love for them! It do still find it to be very in character for her, and as much as we see her being compassionate and caring she is still human and thereby inherently selfish (not a bad thing!!!) so I could see her seeing her confession as a source of potential comfort from her.

At the end of the day, Marinette wants to speak from the heart. She always does, and that tends to be when she's most sincere (see Glaciator 2). So I do find it very in character for her.

I did find it made me uncomfortable, as I would have preferred to see her express her love as a friend and being there for him. But I see why the writers made that decision so I can't fault them there.

(Let it be known that I only ever watch this episode in French so idk if the English dub's tone is different, as often tends to be the case between the two versions. In the French her tone is very kind and sincere, as well as extremely loving. It's the same tone she gets when she wants to reassure someone her speak from her heart so that's why I don't see it as being ooc, if that makes sense)

[negrowhat]

I’m so glad you liked it too!!! I feel like Hwang Da Seul always has a specific aura to her projects where it’s quite calm and serene but you still really feel the emotion as well and I love it. Weirdly it kind of reminds me of Taehyung from BTS’s solo music. Like it’s not necessarily bright and flashy but it’s deep and serene, it uses up every second very well, and it’s impactful. I thought the whole thing was shot so beautifully.

My heart also broke for Da Un (or Da Woon? I’m not sure how to romanize his name imdb says Da Un but my captions said Da Woon lol) when I realized the part with his parents and that beautiful kiss/Si Won saying he liked him back was a dream. I kind of suspected it from the moment I saw his parents bc it was a big tone shift but oh I just wanted to give him a hug. His biggest dream was just to have a nice dinner with his parents at home and have his crush like him too. I’m glad everything worked out in the end but that was SO SAD.

The actors’ chemistry was incredible too and so believable. So many lovely intimate moments that really made me believe them as a couple. I feel like sometimes BLs can fail to implement the other parts of intimacy that makes a couple feel real other than just kisses but Blueming was so sweet with the hand holding and smiles and sitting close together and hugs and everything. I saw people on twitter say Hwang Da Seul’s directing of kisses has gotten better but I wonder if she was ever actually not good at it bc TMS had a great kiss too. Makes me wonder if the actors in WYEL just didn’t want to do it or if she was worried the industry wasn’t ready for a real kiss when filming that one lol but the chemistry of that couple was still on point other than the kiss!

I also saw people hating on Da Un for what he did in trying to get Si Won to win bc of his connections but I don’t get it. These characters are what like 18-20? That’s exactly how I’d expect a young person with a huge crush to act lol. I saw people calling him gross and manipulative but like to me he just seemed like a guy in love who genuinely thought he was helping! I think at heart he’s a sweet guy and I think the show showed that. Anyway I can already tell this is gonna be another comfort show of mine just like TMS lol, I hope it gets compiled into a movie too bc I love watching the movie version of TMS

Hmmm interesting that you compared the series to V's music. I never thought about that but I like the idea.

The actors' chemistry was superb and you're right it's the little things that made their relationship feel more fluid and true. Like I noticed that Da Un had a habit of gently grabbing Si Won to get his attention, also him constantly making sure that Si Won wasn't cold or uncomfortable. Si Won wanting continuous head pats from Da Un and also going on his little rants and then apologizing for being insensitive afterwards. The whole coupon gesture for Da Un's birthday because couples really do corny stuff like that. They just had lots of good moments between them that showed what type of people they are. Da Un seems to be more protective of Si Won and Si Won gives Da Un the attention he needs.

The dream sequence just broke my lil heart. I had a feeling it was dream because of the smokiness of his house when he came into the living room but also I would've been super disappointed if Si Won forgave Da Un without any sort of apology. The kiss in the dream was also pretty heart wrenching, as amazing as it was, but it just showed that all Da Un wants is for the people he loves and who say they love him to be around.

Also Idk about the actual spelling, I'm seeing people type it out both ways. The subs said 'Da Woon' but the bio on iQIYI, Google, and MDL all say 'Da Un'.

I'm gonna address the discourse about Da Un's deception. It was pretty manipulative I will say, just because Da Un knew what he was doing and didn't say anything and even tried to lie and then justify his wrongdoings after he was found out.

I know he was coming from a place of love and wanted to do something sweet for Si Won, but it was not the right thing to do regardless of the reason. He basically cheated to get Si Won to win and kind of stole that prize from another student and hurt Si Won's pride and trust in the process.

Not to mention Si Won didn't even want to do the project to begin with, but his sister submitted his work without permission and then Da Un used his connections to get him to win. Nothing about that benefits Si Won, though I am glad that he got to see his work come to life and for that I'm thankful to Da Un but only that.

I don't think Da Un should be demonized or called gross for it though, he wasn't trying to hurt Si Won and he did apologize.

I appreciate Da Un's apology, it was much needed. It was a great and honest apology. He thought about the hurt and pain and disappointment he caused Si Won and he owned up to it and promised to never do something like that again. I'm sure that's all Si Won wanted from Da Un, a genuine apology with promises to do better in the future.

I really, really enjoyed the series and I think it's going to be a fave!!!!!!! It was truly amazing.