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#but it still makes me mad that people can be so selfish
rainia · 1 year
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ever since i was a small child the adults around me have treated any boundaries i set as me being a selfish bitch and i think that definitely did something to me
#vent#like when i first developed my lovely ocd (i was 11ish) everyone was very pissed at me because since i needed things in life#to be a specific way and i had no choice but to live with people and when they did things that directly interfered with how i needed#things to be i'd get upset and every once in a while ppl will keep complaining like oh we have to do everything you want you're so#selfish and rude and we're just expected to do what you want and why should we well fuck y'all if you want to stop working with me#on this then i'm literally going to make your life hell because i expect the BARE MINIMUM respect to not directly mess with my boundaries#which have lessened over time like literally i've been getting better i know it's been a long time coming but i am not nearly as distressed#by some things anymore but to these fuckers they just thing i'm being controlling and rude and i make their lives miserable because i#need them to not touch my stuff and i need to be driven places and i can only eat certain foods that i make myself and i cannot#help with some chores without freaking out and to them that just means that i'm a parasite that is being controlling and bitchy when they#decide that actually they shouldn't help me when i can't do something or that no they shouldn't respect my boundaries or whatever#like idk i know i'm not a super nice person but i'm not trying to ruin everyone's life just to stay sane and like. i didn't ask to be born#i didn't ask to be born into this family i didn't ask to be fucked in the head i didn't ask for any of this but my mother? she decided to#have kids and it's not my fault she wasn't prepared for them all to be fucked up and it's not my fault that she doesn't believe in mental#illnesses and she just thinks that being depressed or having adhd means you're just lazy or having ocd means you're just being controlling#and that you can stop anytime or that having autism (which there is a chance that a couple of us do) means that you're just acting#out for no reason and don't want to behave like i know she thinks i'm a selfish bitch (she was very vocal abt that today) but i think it's#also pretty selfish to help fuck up your own kids and expect them to turn out all right and when they don't you just get mad at them for no#being perfect. like she just wants us to be normal i know she does that's why she doesn't like mental illnesses/disorders and shit that's#why she's transphobic i get it she wants us to be normal but guess fucking what we aren't and her attitude doesn't help like i know she has#done a lot for me but even when she's helping she likes to threaten to take it all away she used to threatened to stop driving me to#school when i just got in college at 15 or so and threatened to send me away bc she thought i was faking my ocd and it fucked me up y'know?#like i don't like that her helping me is conditional on whether she likes me at the moment because a lot of the times she doesn't like me i#when i was very mentally ill or depressed/suicidal/dying from a fucking eating disorder like i know she's helped me i know she's done a#lot for me that she says she went farther out of her way for than she should've and i know i'm fucking difficult but still i don't like#being called a fucking selfish bitch for asking for the people i can't fucking get away from to respect what i need so i don't break down#like sorry if that's too much for you but i;m also not a fucking pushover and have never been and i know that pisses her off but whatever#and like i know i'm not totally in the right i know i'm not nice and i can be a bitch and i'm unhelpful and nasty sometimes but i'd rather#be blamed for being unpleasant than only caring about myself because i want to feel safe and yeah i can admit that often i do only#care about myself but that's because i genuinely hate some of these ppl sometimes and why should i care? they suck idk vent over
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qilinkisser · 4 months
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uuuUUGHGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
#vents 🌧️#I'm so fucking MAD#I've been seeing SO many fucking valentines day drawings today and I wanted to join in so badly#but I have my stupid fucking homework#and my mom said that if I get my homework done I can have 'a few minutes' of time#A FEW FUCKING MINUTES#yeah. great. so I can make a shitty doodle that nobody bothers to interact with#on the ONE fucking day I was hoping to get some attention#is that selfish? yeah it absolutely is. but I don't care. everybody's so fucking sick of me in real life#is it so bad that I want everyone to see me here? everyone to tell me how good I'm doing#I just want people to tell me I'm doing a good job#I'm failing all my classes in school. I have a terrible social life. I fall asleep constantly and I'm never fun to be around irl#all my parents do is nag me to do the homework I have no willpower to do and yell at each other outside my door#I'm doing a really shitty fucking job in real life. maybe if I got some imaginary fucking internet points I'd feel a little better#I don't care if it's selfish. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel admired. I want everyone to see me and think I'm doing so good#I've got nothing else. art's the last thing I'm good at. it's so fucking over for me. this is it.#it's rock bottom isn't it? my meds still aren't working. my dad is relentless in his anger. my mom is at her wits end#my friends at school give me maybe half of the love I give them if I get really lucky#my teachers are so fucking tired of me#who the fuck gives a shit anymore. this all feels so fucking pointless#who cares about regents or sats or college or jobs or anything. that's it. I give up. this is it for me.#I don't know how it's supposed to get better.#I'm so fucking sorry. I'm liveblogging an absolute spiral on here. I'm so sorry#if you read all the way down to here.. I'm not in trouble. I'm not going to do anything bad. you don't have to worry about me.#I'm just. so. tired.#I should probably delete this later.
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cosmojjong · 1 year
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my grandpa ended up passing away only 11 days after i saw him and what hurts most right now is trying to deal with such a sudden loss and the fact that i can't go to his funeral. i don't know what to do with myself
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zebruh · 2 years
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uggghhhhhhh I'm sick of people I hate people so god damn much cause I try so god damn hard every fuckin day to be "normal" and only when I'm absolutely over the top in my opinion is it deemed normal
like fuck I thot I was being a cartoony obnoxious piece of shit but no that's fuckin bare minimum so people don't cry when I talk to them like. I don't get it why tf I gotta be so overdramatic about every god damn thing to not upset people????? I know my voice is monotone and since it's dropped so much people take everything I say as rude or condescending and I don't get it!!!!!!! I've been in speech therapy when I was a kid and the lady just went "yeah your kid is just like that there's no fixing it" like fuck I don't get it because every single time someone's mad at me they make me feel like shit for something that I've TRIED to fix for fuckin 2 decades but just. I can't. I physically cannot no matter how hard I try I fuckin can't I have to be over expressive with my face so people don't cry
just. idk what to do cause it's so hard to be over the top constantly it takes so fuckin much out of me but if I be my regular self customers and coworkers cry I just. idk what to do
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saetoru · 8 months
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ SORCERY SCHEMES — GETO SUGURU.
contents. non sorcery au!, husband! suguru, gn! reader, nanako and mimiko are still your kids, silly lil shenanigans of cult leader! suguru being in your dreams
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suguru has been the source of your anger for lots of things over the years. some fair, others not so much.
that one important date he accidentally missed because he got caught up at work. that time you vented and he tried to tell you to toughen up instead of picking your side. that time he accidentally shrunk your favorite sweater in the laundry. that time he fell asleep while you were talking late at night (he had insisted he was tired, in his defense—you were just too stubborn to let him sleep.)
marriage has its ups and downs, but suguru likes to think you’re a strong couple—but this? this is the most outrageously ridiculous reason to be mad at him—he’s simply at a loss.
“so let me get this straight,” he starts slowly, as if trying to comprehend something far too complex for his simple mind, “you’re mad at me because i had some superpowers in your dream—”
“it was sorcery,” you hiss, “were you even listening?”
“right. sorry. i was…a sorcerer,” he apologizes. he looks at you like you’re insane—your eye twitches just a little. “and then suddenly i went crazy in the head and killed a village and adopted nanako and mimiko and…left. to basically cleanse an entire demographic. is that right?”
“you had a cult too.”
“and the cult,” he nods slowly, “can’t forget the cult.”
“yeah,” you glower—if looks could kill, suguru thinks he might have never been born at all. this is a new one, he has to admit. “and it was really fucking rude. you left. and you took the kids before i could even meet them.”
“okay,” he says tiredly, rubbing his forehead, “baby, i don’t know if you realize this, but i don’t…i can’t perform sorcery. and i don’t have a cult i can lead either. i’m just a literature teacher—”
“i know what you are,” you snap, shoving away the hand he tries to reach at you with, “you’re a selfish psychopath who committed heinous crimes and left me single and alone as you led a group of people to follow your crazy ideas. don’t even think about touching me—”
“so do you want me to apologize?” he sighs, “because i’m sorry—”
“what if i left you? huh? and just started killing everyone who has blue eyes? what then? i’ll take the kids this time and leave you alone, see how you like it.”
“well, at least that gets rid of satoru,” he mutters quietly. and then he grins—chuckles a soft little laugh that makes the edges of your lips curl just a bit. “you’re crazy,” he snorts, shaking his head. and then— “but i love you. c’mere.”
you don’t fight the hand the reaches towards you this time, letting his arm curl around your waist and pull you into his side. that’s a good sign, he thinks, so he tests the waters and plants a kiss to your head. you melt just a little.
“i’m still mad at you,” you mumble.
“yeah, i figured,” he grins, “anything i can do to erase my sins as a mass murderer?”
“you can make breakfast,” you hum, leaning closer as you rub circles into his chest, “and wash the dishes.”
“easy enough,” he nods, pulling a scowl from you.
“you’re not off the hook yet,” you click your teeth.
“of course,” he nods in agreement, “i still have to atone for my radical actions. i’ll start by resurrecting all the people i killed. that should do it, right?”
“suguru, be serious,” you huff, “i was very sad, okay?”
“did you miss me?” he wriggles his brows—you look at him incredulously before slapping his chest. he chuckles a little too long for your liking.
“what a stupid question,” you pinch your nose, “so if i became delusional and ran off to erase a population, you wouldn’t be upset with me?”
“actually, i’d follow you because i love you,” he shrugs, pinching your nose lightly, “i’d be your cult’s second-in-command. obviously you just didn’t love me enough in your dream to do the same for me.”
“you didn’t invite me,” you pout through a glare, “what was i supposed to do? show up unwelcome?”
“well, nothing was stopping you. was i at least a strong sorcerer?” he asks in wonder.
you think for a moment before nodding. “yeah,” you say thoughtfully, “one of the strongest.”
“nice,” he grins—he seems a bit too pleased for something that happened in your dreams.
you decide to deal the harsh blow. “but not nearly as strong as satoru. you know he was the literally the strongest?”
“okay,” he scowls, “if you do kill blue-eyed people, start with him.”
you giggle, leaning up to kiss his jaw as he lets a soft grin pull over his features. he laughs with you—and suddenly, you’re both chuckling together uncontrollably.
it’s a bit of a silly circumstance, but he kisses your forehead and means it when he says, “sorry i left you to kill people and led a cult and committed a bunch of crimes while i wiped out a whole group of people. i didn’t mean it.”
“you took the kids too,” you remind him.
“i don’t know what i was thinking,” he shakes his head, “those two are a handful. how was i managing being a single father with all that on my plate?”
“that’s why you shouldn’t have left me,” you point out.
“you’re right,” he agrees, “i’ll invite you if i ever snap and lose my sanity.”
“good. you’re forgiven. now, i want chocolate chip pancakes—and make coffee while you’re at it.”
“yeah, whatever,” he rolls his eyes. he kisses you though, a soft little peck over your lips as you hum into the kiss and cup his cheek, “you got it. whatever you want.”
“i want you,” you murmur, “unhinged sorcerer and all.”
he laughs at the craziness of it all—but he loves it anyway, loves you despite it all.
“and i want you too,” he grins, hopelessly in love, “if you’ll do me the honors and join my crazy sorcery schemes.”
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hi i’m tee and i had a dream that my rude ass sister stole my car and totaled it and now im very mad at her and i am not speaking to her until she apologizes. she refuses so im now double mad
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Isaac explained his type to Maya with great details, as Maya asked him to do. Taut model-like physique, hairs on his legs curled up but his upper body smooth with not even a scar, with classic Anglo-Saxon feature that makes the guy can pass as some Victorian era young nobility. His eyes should reflect the depth of his thought and looked like an English pond in the summer, calming and clear. Soft-spoken, matched with his grace and gentle movement that won't ever indicate any sort of danger or threat to anyone that come across him. Isaac wanted his ideal man to be lefty, just because it's unique, and at last, he wanted his man to be fully devoted to him and him only. Maya listened intently while Isaac revealed all that as he's busy typing his work, not even taking a glance to Maya. But once a sultry, manly voice coming out from the bed behind him where Maya supposedly lounged around, Isaac instantly turned around and found himself surprised
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"Maya???"
"Well....yes, but not really, as you can see,"
"H---how? W--why? What the fuck is happening here?"
"I enjoyed your company a bit too much. Like, I'm so tired dating these dudes trying to find my Mr. Right when I have an incredibly smart, kind and attentive best friend like you that beat most of those crusty men I dated. So I said, fuck it, I'll be your man,"
"Have you heard how insane that sounded like, and how is this situation totally not something you encountered everyday? Like.....for starter, how the fuck you--"
"It's actually simple. Turns out my family have this kind of power that skipped generations that reemerged with me right after that last eclipse. The said power bestowed us the capacity to change physical form of ourself and the people that we exchanged bodily fluids with. In other words, not only I can change myself, I can change you too since we fucked that one time when we were still sophomore,"
"That....is wild. And I don't want to be involved in any of this. Please just change back, okay?"
"Oh cmon, you literally are having a boner while talking to me now. You like this, you want me, and I definitely want you to be my man. I mean, just imagine how crazy the sex we can have now that I can mold you into any of your wildest dreams too,"
"Maya, no. You are not thinking clear. What the fuck is this desperation? I cannot be your man, and you cannot throw away your life just like that for me. I'll hate myself for that, it makes me feel selfish,"
"Desperation? This is me being kind to you. I cannot help but notice how you've been dating not a single person since we graduated uni. You are certainly lonely so this is me---"
"What is that insane gaslighting you are doing? Stop all of this madness and for fuck sake, change yourself back. It's so jarring looking at you like that. You will always be Maya for me, whatever form you take,"
"No,"
"Okay, whatever. If you want to continue being a nuisance, please sort yourself out. Just.....walk around the neighborhood and clear your mind or something,"
"No,"
"Maya--"
"No, don't call me that! I'm no Maya. Gosh, I hated to do this, but freeze,"
And just like that, Isaac froze in his place with no way of moving a single muscle whatsoever. Then, Maya grabbed Isaac's head and chanted some intelligible words before letting it go as Maya goes back to the bed while waiting for the spell to unleash its full work. Like a breaking ice, Isaac's frozen body started to be able to get back moving and pulsing. It started from the fingertips, that gets thicker and hairier as his finger and both of his hand turned calloused from heavy workout while his feet stretched his wool socks and enlarged to a decent size 13. As blood started flowing once more, the veins in his arm thickened while his legs bursted with muscle and blond hair in an otherwise lanky former runner legs. This built his physique is turning into clearly doesn't belong to a runner. As the pumped blood causing the arm to swole closer to 19 inches, it also affected the shoulder that becomes rounder and sturdier. The long sleeve he worn earlier of course already tattered to pieces while his pants already ripped due to his now incredibly muscular thighs. As the change spread across his neck and torso from the top, his lower body parts perfected itself into a sick v-taper that leads to a snaking 7 inches perfection stuffed into a tight white briefs that left nothing to the imagination. His tiny waist contrasted heavily with his massive back and shoulder, showcasing an insane dedication to his craft which is clearly bodybuilding. When the whole body parts below his neck completed its transformation, he's now a towering 6'6" muscle beast, clearly looking down on most people including the rendered-in-awe Maya. Is this Isaac's deepest desire? Turning into a massive bodybuilder? The power she used on him is to unearth his deepest desire, so having a boulder cannon for a shoulder is clearly part of his deepest desire then? How is his final look going to be? Babyfaced brutal beast? Matured daddy? All will be revealed in the next couple seconds as the transformation move upward
His jaw hardened but his face turned into more square-like, with dirty blonde facial hair framed the angular jawline. From the way his face remained clear and not much visible wrinkle formed, this is definitely a young guy, probably the same age like Isaac's current age, but he can be wrong though. As the lips turned into a smirk, Maya knows that the change is almost complete and that smirk indicated that he enjoys what he sees so far. As Isaac eventually able to move, he's practically no longer Isaac, but an entirely different person altogether. Maya ensured that this new version of Isaac, Maya named him Rod, would be falling head over heels for Maya's new look
"Theo," Rod said in his gruffy voice
Well, that's a good name....
"Why are you not spreading your ass in bed already? You know I have to get back to work later at 1, time is tight so I need to breed inside you ASAP before having my lunch and then get back to work,"
Maya is in shock......Isaac's deepest desire is to be an assertive alpha or something? And it dawned upon Maya, or Theo now, that he cannot acted like brats or said no to Theo's order. Is this part of his desire too????
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"You are always one hell of an obedient boy, that's why you're my favorite cum dump. Now say aaaaaa-----
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tragedybunny · 9 months
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Sated - Astarion x F!Reader
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Astarion has gone too long without blood and you're determined to make sure he's fed.
Astarion tries, but not everyday is a good day, and some days he’s still snappish and lashes out. The rest of your group has learned not to take it personally, in fact now that Karlach can touch people, she’s developed a nice trick of just suddenly hugging him when he’s a pain. Usually either indignant silence or grumbling compliance follows. “Behave yourself Fangs, or I’ll do it again,” the Tiefling grins at him during whatever fussing he spouts after. He’s grown fond of her, you can tell, even if he can’t yet. In a way he’s fond of them all, but Karlach’s open, kind nature has given them a bit of a sibling-like bond. Watching them interact always brings a smile to you, he needs more of that in his life, people who care for him genuinely. 
Today was not the best, but you shrug it off as concern overrides all else. He’s a little paler than usual and a little slower. There wasn't much out there among the shadow curse for him to feed off. Before you never had to question how much blood he needed to survive or where it would come from. But as you leave the formerly cursed land behind, you can tell he’s struggling. And yet, he hasn’t asked you about it. The one he’s supposed to trust more than anyone else. You’ve fed him plenty of times before, you would think he’d have come to you by now. Mentally, you scold yourself as you feel creeping insecurity. There has to be a reason for it, and now isn’t the time for selfish suspicion. 
That night, as everyone settles themselves around a fire, contemplating what the road to Baldur's Gate holds, you find him seated at the edge of the flickering light, as far away as he can get without being in the shadows. Could he be worried he might find himself tempted if he’s too close to everyone? This can’t continue, you tell yourself, not only for the sake of his suffering, but you can’t be sure he wouldn’t be tempted either. 
Grabbing a blanket from your shared tent, you take a seat beside him, wrapping it around both of you. “You feeling alright Starry Sky?” Gently, you wrap an arm around him, and feel the icy chill of his skin beneath his shirt. Not that his skin is ever all that warm, but this another level. 
“Just tired,” he smiles weakly at you. 
“And freezing,” your other hand reaches up to stroke his cheek lightly. 
Eyes closed, he leans into your touch. “You know, I don’t even really feel it. I’m not sure if I need to be warm at all.” 
“Hmm, even if you can’t feel it, you know why you’re freezing.” Leaning over you whisper to him, some things aren’t meant to include the others. “You’re hungry.”
“Perhaps a little, but I’m fine. I don't need you to start fussing over me constantly. There's an owlbear cub if you feel overtly maternal." The sharp words don't change the dark circles under his eyes, or how gaunt his cheeks look. 
"You're ridiculously obstinate, you know that right," a gentle kiss on his temple follows your words, so he knows you're not actually being cross with him. You’ve come to realize he can’t stand it when he thinks you’re mad at him. In the past, anger meant reprisal, punishment, and in the context of the two of you, punishment could only mean withdrawing your affection. At least that’s where his thoughts lead.  
"It is one of my better qualities," he leans over, head resting against your chest. 
Shifting, you position yourself so he's seated between your legs, easier to let him rest his weight on you. "I don't know why you don't just ask me. My blood not good enough for your refined palate anymore?" Laughing, you try to mask the actual hurt that's creeping in. The truth is letting him feed from you has always felt like an important part of your relationship, the time when you’re closest to him.
It's been a long journey and a few of your group are already wandering to bed, although you think you hear Shadowheart muttering about saving it for the tent, whatever she said, Gale laughs it off. “Not at all,” he’s uncharacteristically serious, “I just…” he sighs, for once at a loss for words, “it seemed like a lot to ask from you, after everything else.” 
“Everything else?” Lips leave light kisses on the top of his head as you brush your fingers through his hair.
“You know, lying to you, manipulating you, wanting you to still love me after all that. If I asked to feed from you, it would seem like I was trying to use you again.” Catching one of your hands, he kisses it and doesn’t let go. 
For a moment you don’t know how to respond, you’re still not entirely used to seeing the softer, sincere side of him. “I see why you would think that, but I don’t want you to suffer. Let me take care of you, any way I can. That’s what I’m here for. Well, that and teaching you to be less of a stubborn arse it would seem.” 
“Stop, you’re being entirely too sweet to me. It’s going to ruin my reputation around camp.” You let him have his moment of deflection and wait until he makes a frustrated noise. “But I can’t say I don’t want to.” 
“Take what you need love,” you reach up to undo your collar and pull the blanket more securely around the two of you for privacy. A part of you considers moving to the tent, but you’re worried he’d use the opportunity to try to put it off more.
With a soft sigh, his lips press to your neck in a delicate kiss, teeth piercing your skin moments later. Pain and ecstasy course through you as you hold back a sigh. The two of you become one in that instant, bound through blood to the singular beating heart you now share, intimacy unparalleled. While he drinks, you fight to stay lucid enough to whisper to him of love and comfort, reassuring him that needing this from you is no sin. You feel your own warmth traveling into his skin, and you watch it take on a blush of life. 
Before your world turns hazy, he pulls away, licking you clean, and returning his head to your chest, content to be held tightly. "I didn't take too much, did I?"
"No, you were perfectly careful dearest." The words bring a small smile to his lips, praise so new an experience for him, he hardly knows how to handle it. But you know he craves it, especially from you, and it makes you want to lavish it on him. 
The others have vanished, a small part of you worries they noticed and were uncomfortable, but you hope they would understand as your friends. You two should join them soon, Baldur's Gate awaits, with a journey there still ahead. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” 
“A few more minutes love,” somehow he manages to snuggle tighter against you, “I did miss this.”
“Me too, don’t wait so long next time. I’m always here for you.” 
“There you go, being too nice to me again, silly girl.” Sitting up a bit he kisses you, fiercely, lips crashing together bruisingly, hands reaching to tangle in your hair, like a first and a last kiss all bound up in one and it leaves you gasping when he’s done. It’s as though he’s trying to express everything he feels in that one kiss. “I might get used to it if you’re not careful.” 
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starogeorgina · 1 month
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𝐊𝐞𝐩𝐚
Paring: Daemon Targaryen × reader, Harwin Strong x reader, Criston Cole x reader
Warnings: Swearing, smut, child birth
1.03
You blink away unshed tears as you stare up at Ser Harwin; the look on his face was earth-shattering. No traces of anger or bitterness could be detected on his handsome face; the softness in his eyes made you feel nothing but guilt. You should never have believed the rumors, given into your husband's taunting or gone near Criston Cole.
You’re unaware that you’re crying until Harwin wipes them away with the pads of his thumb. “Prince Daemon told me your news; congratulations, princess.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead, and in a quiet voice, he says, “He also told me what he said to you. I wish I’d known sooner.”
Ser Harwin wasn’t a fool; he knew his beloved princess’s outburst of believing the rumors surrounding him and Princess Rhaenyra being true hadn’t come from thin air, but he had no idea Daemon was the one behind it. The Targaryen prince thrived in chaos, but after causing so much damage, the knight was grateful to be away from the keep for some time; otherwise, he might have done something to get himself executed.
“Do you forgive me?”
Harwin sighs, “There’s nothing to forgive. It was a misunderstanding.”
Pouting, you shake your head. “I should never have doubted you... henujagon īlva, valzȳrys.” (Leave us, husband.)
You wait until you hear Daemon leave; he didn’t need to be involved in your conversation, and you knew he wouldn’t be able to resist if he was within earshot. You take Harwin’s large hand in yours and say, “I love my husband; he’s the other half of me. Targaryens are made to burn together, but I love you too. I don’t know how to explain it; it’s a different kind of love. Since I was a girl, I always knew I’d marry Daemon, regardless of how I felt, but I chose to be with you. You make me feel safe and—”
“What is it you’re trying to tell me?” Harwin wipes away another fallen tear. “I’ve memorized each time you’ve confessed your love to me, which is how I know something is wrong. I can see it in your eyes.”
“I don’t know whose baby this is. I forgot to drink moon tea after the last time we lay together.”
His blue eyes fill with tears. “Prince Daemon will be the father.”
“I’m sorry.”
Your heart aches a little when Harwin hugs you; he was a good man. A far better person than you, Daemon, or Criston. He wasn’t selfish, violent, or entitled. You only wish you’d never questioned his loyalty to begin with.
“There’s something else I need to tell you.”
As the months passed, your body changed, and the gorgeous gowns you had made could no longer hide how large your bump had gotten. Rhaenyra often thought you were carrying more than one baby when your bump first started to swell, but now you were convinced she was right.
Daemon smooths his hand gently over the fabric of your dress, feeling the baby kick beneath. You were comfortable laying on your left side with multiple pillows fluffed around you to keep you in that position. Your husband lay behind you with his face nuzzling into the side of your neck.
“Have you spoken much with Ser Harwin?”
“No,” you say, feeling your lip tremble slightly. “Perhaps it is for the best; the less he is near during my pregnancy, the less people will talk.”
Daemon kisses your cheek. “The baby could look exactly like us, and the Greens would still gossip. I suspect the same will happen with Rhaenyra as soon as she has an heir.”
Your sister and her husband, Ser Laenor, had gone to visit various houses in the realm on behalf of your father, who was too ill to travel the distance himself. Although they had gone on dragonback, a large number of knights, including Ser Harwin, had been sent to protect them. When you confessed your antics with Cole to Ser Harwin, he was mad for a while but insisted he still wanted to be with you; he just needed some time.
“And what if the baby doesn’t look like us?” You knew no matter what, you’d love and protect your child fiercely, but you needed reassurance from Daemon. “I’ve been beyond foolish; I’ve given them the opportunity to make my child’s life miserable before they are even born.”
“I will cut out the tongues of anyone who dares question the legitimacy of our child. Any baby you have will be an extension of you; it would be impossible for me not to love them.” He rubs his hand along your stomach again. “This is my son or daughter growing inside you. Nothing anyone says will change that.”
“Princess, it’s time to push again.”
“I can’t! I can’t!” You sob, clutching onto the bed sheets tightly. The pain was overwhelming; you were convinced this is what dying felt like.
“Push!”
The midwives help guide you through the last few pushes until your daughter finally enters the room. She is placed on your chest, and you sob with happiness, “She’s perfect—oh fuck.”
Your daughter is quickly carried away to be cleaned up as the midwife pushes your legs open again. “Time to do this second time, princess.”
Daemon hums while gently rocking your daughter Daella to sleep, while your son Gaemon suckles at your breast. They were only a few hours old, but it already felt like you'd spent a lifetime loving them.
“Perhaps when you are feeling up to it, we can pick dragon eggs for the baby’s.”
You smile and say, “That would be nice.”
With Syrax having laid another clutch of dragon eggs, you were on your way to the dragon pit to pick one while being accompanied by your husband and sworn protector, but before you could leave the courtyard, your waters broke. Ser Harwin immediately picked you up and carried you back to your chambers, while Daemon sent for the maester and midwives.
“There, there,” Daemon says before gently placing your daughter into the crib next to your bed.
You smile down at her. Daella shares your pale complexion; her silver hair and the shade of her purple eyes were an exact match for yours. Gaemon got almost all his features from you, like his sister; his skin was pale and his hair silver, except his eyes were a dark brown.
“I think he’s had his feed,” you say when Gaemon stops feeding and his eyelids slowly start to close.
Daemon takes him from your arms so you can readjust your nightgown. He kisses the baby on the forehead. “They really are perfect.”
Sitting underneath the weirwood tree, she smiles as Daella attempts to walk along one of the thick roots sticking out of the ground, with your loyal knight Ser Harwin right behind her, ready to catch her the second she slips. Gaemon lays back, his head resting against your legs, as you read a story about dragons out loud. Both eggs had hatched in the cradle, and your children were now getting to the age where they understood how powerful and magical dragons are.
“Careful, princess,” Harwin says softly. “Slow down before you fall.”
Daella grins up at the knight before jumping onto a different root. It wouldn’t be long before curiosity got the better of her, and she attempted to climb the tree.
When screeching comes from the distance, Gaemon points to the sky and says, “Mama, look! It’s kepa!”
You look up and see the Blood Wyrm flying in the direction of the dragonpit. Daemon always made a point of returning from dragon riding before supper time so he could dine with his family. When you lower your gaze from the sky, you are met with the cold gaze of Ser Criston Cole. You often notice the knight observing your son and daughter from a distance, but he makes no attempt to interact with them.
Although Cole would never admit it, you had a feeling he would risk his life for them just as Daemon and Harwin would.
Harwin takes one of the pebbled nipples into his mouth while you lean over him, your hands pressing against his chest. Daemon kisses the back of your neck, occasionally nipping at your sensitive skin with his teeth as he thrusts into you from behind. Over time, the three of you had come to an agreement that when the time came and you wished to have another baby, you and Harwin couldn’t fuck as you normally would, eliminating any chances of him getting you pregnant since you wouldn’t be drinking moon tea. But you still wanted to be intimate with Harwin, and your ever-devoted husband came up with an idea.
Daemon’s voice is cocky as he says, “So, Ser Harwin, how do you feel about our princess taking what she wants from us at the same time?”
Harwin grins. “Do you think you could take both of us?”
“Yes, I want you both.”
“Greedy girl!” Daemon smacks your ass.
Your heart races with anticipation at the thought of having both of them inside you at the same time. You're used to making love to them both, but this would feel different—more intimate, more primal. Harwin and Daemon had mutual respect for one another, but they mainly bonded over how much they loved your little family.
Your husband chuckles softly, his warm breath caressing your ear. “You’ll get what you desire, my love. I’ve bet you’ve thought about this plenty of times before, haven’t you?”
Feeling your cheeks heat up, you nod.
A princess is desperate to feel her husband and lover fill her up at the same time.
Daemon slowly withdraws his shaft from your cunny, leaving you aching for more. He sits down on the bed beside Harwin, but before you have the chance to move over to his lap, the knight hooks his hands under your thighs and pulls you up until you are hovering over his face. Not wasting time, Harwin starts flicking at your sensitive clit with his tongue.
Daemon smirks as he listens to your whine. He had already ‘prepared’ both your holes before Harwin joined you in the bedchamber. After coming apart on Harwin’s lips, Daemon gently pulls the small cock-shaped object from your anus, then pulls you onto his lap so you are facing him, and slides his cock into your cunny again.
He leans back and pulls you down with him, gripping your shoulders and spreading them while Harwin readjusts himself behind you. The thought of having them both causes your clitoral area to throb, “Please.”
Harwin guides his thick cock to where you’re aching for him. With a gentle nudge, he pushes past your resistance and enters your tight hole. You gasp as he fills you completely. The sensation of having them both inside you is foreign and exhilarating. Harwin begins to rock his hips gently, slowly pulling them out before pushing them back in again, while Daemon thrusts upwards at a harsher pace.
“How does it feel? Daemon asks, pinching your nipple between his fingers. “Good as you imagined?”
“So, so good.”
Your mind becomes hazy with pleasure when one of them starts rubbing fast circles on your clit. You come apart, squeezing both of them tightly. Harwin shoots his seed inside you, then Daemon follows shortly after, coating your cunny in his seed, which he will hopefully take.
The knight slowly pulls you out, then brushes your sweaty hair out of your face and kisses you deeply. Daemon smirks, “Take your time catching your breath, my good knight, as we will be here all night.”
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larluce · 4 months
Text
Arthur travels back in time to save Merlin (from becoming a tree) AU
LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART2 (You're here) , PART 3
The king of Camelot goes to visit his magic tree before his next battle. This isn't new. He always visits it. But it will be the last time he does it.
Arthur: (caressing the bark of the tree with a hand)It's finally time. I'm sorry it took so long. (sighs) And I'm sorry I have to do this.
He knows he's being selfish. Camelot is better than ever, his people is happy and yet he's going to war, risking this era of peace. A war he knows he won't come back from. But it's necessary.
Gwen: (arriving) Arthur...
Arthur: I won't change my mind, Guinivere
Gwen: I know. I just want to understand. Arthur, why? The price is too high and the chance it might work too slim. And even if it does work, you are risking that everything you know, everything you built will never happen.
Arthur: It's a risk I'm willing to take. I can prevent so many things from happening, not only Merlin's fate, but Gawain's, Elyan's, Lancelot's-
Gwen: Don't pretend you're not doing this just for him, Arthur, I'm not a fool.
Arthur: ...
Gwen: He wouldn't want you to do this. And you know it.
Arthur: Yeah, well, he didn't care about what I wanted when he made that stupid deal.
It's been ten years since Merlin saved his life and was cursed to be a tree forever as a payback. He was now a majestic beautiful tree in the royal garden and the most valuable national treasure in Camelot due to its magical properties: It could give fruits with the ability to cure all ills and the most serious wounds, but also could give ones with the most letal poison. Its wood was the finest. Once it let some branches fall for its king before an important battle and the weapons that were made with them are still as good as new to this day. Though Arthur did his part, he knows Camelot probably would not have obtained the title of the greatest, richest and most prosperous kingdom if it weren't for his Merlin.
However, not everything was sunshine and rainbows. Like every treasure it was also coveted by everyone who wanted to use it for their own selfish purposes. Kingdoms envious of his power sent spies to try to steal its fruits, its branches and even to try to cut it down to leave Camelot defenseless. Others even tried to invade Camelot just to posses the magic tree, but Camelot's army was the strongest in all Albion so they never could and soon they stopped trying.
There was a time they almost got too close though. Once Arthur found a man holding an ax stuck deep in Merlin's trunk. He has gone so mad with fury, he almost beat the man to death if it weren't because his knights stopped him before he made the final blow. He was still livid after that, but he let Gwen handle the man's trial, because he knew he wouldn't be reasonable in the state he was in. In the end the man was sentenced to beheading. It was what the law decreed since touching the King's tree was by law an act of treason. The king who sent the spy had to make a public apology and give monetary compensation to avoid a war. Arthur did make sure the spy's head was cut of with his own ax though. Later, when he was alone with his tree, Arthur cried because he almost lost Merlin again. The king apologised to him over and over again between sobs and cried until he fell asleep at the tree's roots.
It was then when it hit him. One day he would die and there won't be anyone to protect Merlin from greedy people who will only use his power for their own gains. Merlin would be at his new owner's mercy and the one after that, and the one after that, forever without being able to do anything about it. The mere thought made Arthur sick to his stomach.
No, he won't allow that to happen.
Gwen: (with teary eyes) Aren't we happy?
Arthur: Don't say that. You have always made me happy.
Gwen: (laughs weakely) But he made you happier, didn't he?
Arthur: ...
Gwen: You never told me. Which were Merlin's last words.
Arthur: I love you... he said I love you.
Gwen: Oh... (smiles) I get it now. Alright I'll help you. Just promise me something.
Arthur: Anything.
Gwen: Don't feel bad if you can't prevent other people from dying. In fact, you don't have to do it. Just save Merlin.
Arthur: But-
Gwen: No, you have done so much for this kingdom and sacrifice so much. (cradling his face) You owe us nothing and you owe me nothing, alright? Just be happy.
They hugged each other tightly and they share their last kiss and I love you before Arthur finally went to bloodiest battle he'll ever had in his life. And, after killing 100 hundred enemy soldiers with his blade, the king of Camelot died at the early age of forty.
Later Percival and Leon retrieve the king's corpse and bring it before their queen who doesn't share a tear despite being broken inside. She orders for his late husband to be buried next to his tree instead of burned in a pyre, proclaming that's what the king would have wanted. The real reason however is more complex than that.
The night after the funeral, she secretly brings the druids her husband consorted for years to the royal garden for the ritual to be made. Before the tree, as was planned, is the Ancient Round Table of the Ancient Kings.
Druid1: A sword with the blood of 300 hundred man.
Gwen: (gives excalibur to him)
Druid2: Three dragon scales.
Percival: (gives them to her)
Druid3: And the corpse of a king. We have everything.
Leon: Will this really work?
Druid1: This ritual had only worked once in the times of the ancient kings and only because it was done by three of the most powerful sorcerers of that time. We are not that powerful.
Druid2: However, we have a great magic source (she points the tree). So it might work.
It worked! That's Arthur's first thought when he opens his eyes again and finds himself in his room 20 years younger.
....
HIII!! First of all I want to thank you all for giving the first post so much love! I was truly shocked because I didn't think the AU was that good, so I'm really glad you liked it. I hope this kind of sequel/prequel? was of your liking too.
I don't think I'm going to make this a full fic yet, but I can make snippets like this about this AU until then.
What else would like to see happening in this AU? Let me know in the comments or reblogs ;)
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niyunnie · 5 months
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how they react to seeing that you got hurt on an expedition ──❅ cryo edition
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❆ · ※ ─── CHARACTERS; all cryo characters !! (minus aloy, diona, and qiqi) ❆ · ※ ─── romantic content, very brief and undescriptive injury mention, gender neutral
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𓆩⟡𓆪 CHARLOTTE
࿐ "Oh, dear.." She'd mumble upon seeing all the scratches and bruises that litter your body. ࿐ She'd immediately grab a med kit, using adhesive wipes to clean your wounds. It'd sting, but she'd assure you while she does so. ࿐ She bandages them up, giving your body a final examination before letting you off. ࿐ She leaves a small kiss on your forehead before asking, "..You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to, but.. Was it a scoop?"
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𓆩⟡𓆪 CHONGYUN
࿐ He's immediately worried. "What happened? Did someone do this to you? Do you need to go to Bubu Pharmacy?" ࿐ His hands shake as he lets his hands trail your wounds, just to see how bad they are. You hiss at the pressure, and he immediately pulls away with small apologies. ࿐ He'd patch you up, and then treat you extra well. He'd make you something good to eat, massage your sore muscles from the expedition, and although he isn't too keen on being affectionate because of his condition, he does it anyway to make you feel better ࿐ "Is... Is this okay? I'm not being too much, am I..?"
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𓆩⟡𓆪 EULA
࿐ "The Adventures Guild needs to stop giving you more than you can handle.." She'd mumble menacing words about them as she patches you up. ࿐ She seems mad, and it makes you worry she's mad at you, (when she's really just mad at the Guild). ࿐ When you ask, she sighs tiredly and shakes her head, playing with your hair soothingly. "Of course not, darling.. But you need to learn to say no more." ࿐ She very much believes you're being taken advantage of, but it's okay. She loves you regardless.
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𓆩⟡𓆪 FREMINET
࿐ Internally he's very panicked, but he tries not to show it. He knows what it feels like to have other people panic about you and to feel selfish about that, and he doesn't want you to experience that. ࿐ He doesn't know this is just a him problem, but his consideration is appreciated nonetheless. Instead, he trails soft kisses onto your bandaged wounds, wanting to help you feel better somehow. ࿐ Movie night!! He definitely snuggles up against you, which is unusual but he just wants to give you some boyfriend time <3 ࿐ "I love you.." Is the last thing he mumbles before he accidentally falls asleep. It seems the situation comforted him more than you! ࿐ Apologies IMMEDIATELY the next morning
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𓆩⟡𓆪 GANYU
࿐ Her stress increases tenfold, seeing your wounds. ࿐ You understand that her stress is very bad, trying to assure her that it's okay, that you're fine. But she's persistent in seeing and treating every wound. ࿐ When you tell her she's going to have a lot to catch up on because of this, she assures you that "Anytime with you is not a waste, dear.." ࿐ You make sure she has an extra good sleep that night.
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𓆩⟡𓆪 KAEYA
࿐ Immediately has a serious talk with you about how you have to be more careful and watch out for yourself more, especially if you're on an expedition. ࿐ He sees your dejected look, and softens his attitude with a sigh. He becomes more gentle instantly. ࿐ "It's okay, sweetheart.. Just.. Be careful next time, okay?" ࿐ Is very careful with you after that, and gives you everything you ask for. And if you ask for nothing, he gets you your favorite stuff <3
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𓆩⟡𓆪 LAYLA
࿐ Very tired but still manages to notice your wounds. ࿐ She's very slow at bandaging them, sometimes spacing off while she does but she truly wants to show she cares. ࿐ However, she's neglecting a very important research paper for the Akademiya for this. ࿐ You urge her to work on it, but she responds, "You're more important."
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𓆩⟡𓆪 MIKA
࿐ You tell him it's fine, but he's insistent on helping you. ࿐ He patches up your wounds, making sure not a bit of the scratches are peaking, lest you get an infection ࿐ Mika's hands are gentle and soft, and he asks for small permissions to do certain things for you. ࿐ "Please be more careful next time, I don't know what I'd do with myself if you were in a worse condition.."
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𓆩⟡𓆪 ROSARIA
࿐ Watches from afar as you limp over to a chair, seeming to be observing how bad your injury truly is. ࿐ She finally approaches with a small sigh, her hands going to bandage you up. ࿐ "Idiot.." She mumbles, her hands roughly pulling at the gauze she wraps around your arms. ࿐ You whimper a bit, and she stops sympathetically. ࿐ "Just.. Be more careful next time." She gives a gentle kiss to your forehead
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𓆩⟡𓆪 SHENHE
࿐ Immediately assumes someone or something did this to you. "Tell me right now, who did this?" ࿐ After much assurance, she cools down a bit and gently tends to your wounds, still mumbling about how if someone did this to you, she'll kill them. ࿐ She's sure to be extra protective of you for the remainder of the day, brushing your hair back and being attentive to all your small needs. ࿐ "Just sit here, and be all pretty, darling. I'll take care of you now~"
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𓆩⟡𓆪 WRIOTHESLEY
࿐ "Awe, sweetheart.. A wound?" He's very teasing on this matter, laughing at how you, of all people, have gotten this beat up. ࿐ He teases that you're so upset over small scratches, but when you tear up, he bites his tongue. ࿐ "I'm sorry, dear. That was inconsiderate of me." ࿐ He makes it up to you by kissing the wounds gently, cuddling with you, spooning you up like you deserve. ࿐ He even feeds you your favorite snacks, so you won this time.
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bahrtofane · 4 months
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in which jude is your best friend, or well, was. hes much more now
word count - 1.3K
watch it - arguments, yelling. happy ending tho hehe
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“Can you grab my purse? I left it in the back seat." 
Jude looks up from his phone at the doorway and gives you a nod, “Yeah gimme a sec, i got it.”
You send him a smile and thanks before taking your shoes off and relaxing on his couch. Today was an impromptu hang out, practice ended early and the personal trainer was out, so this was one of the few days Jude had to relax.
He still wanted to spend it with you, even after you told him he should use the opportunity to nap or just relax in his room. 
'What's the point if I can't bother you at the same time ?' was all he said. 
so you caved and got ready for him to pick you up, soon to raid his fridge or find another movie to watch. (which you always end up talking over but that's okay. It's the thought that counts. you even have your own Netflix profile on his tv !)
Your phone goes off and you're pleasantly surprised to find it's the man you met a few days ago. You caught his eye and he politely approached you while you were on a little coffee run. a treat after a bad few days. 
You smile when you text your date back confirmation. Dinner date this Saturday how exciting !
Jude comes back with your purse in hand, sliding it on the table your way before crashing into your side. 
"Jesus Jude- my god- you're too big to be doing that. you're gonna kill me someday." you sputter.
"no, it's good to keep you on your toes." he giggles while smothering himself into your side
you groan trying to get him off before resorting to kicking him off with your legs. 
he yells before hitting the ground, "Im worth too much for you to be throwing me around what the hell."
"you started it! you're so annoying, oh my god."
he narrows his eyes before getting up and sitting a far distance away from you, for safety. 
he puts on a movie and continues to sulk while you roll your eyes. 
‘Oh by the way I'm gonna have to cancel saturday. “ 
“What, why ? What happened?“ 
“I have a dinner date that day ! isn't that exciting.’
Jude only scowls at you, unimpressed. “You're canceling, over a man. First of all, why is this the first time I'm hearing about this guy. And why didn't you tell him you were busy and just pick a different day.”
“Saturday is his only day off. I don't know why you're so mad.” You frown. 
“Saturday afternoon is my only afternoon off.”
“Jude. Why are you being so childish?”
“I don't know because you're putting some guy you just met before me, your best friend.”
“He's not just some guy I think we could really be something. Why do you have to be so protective of me? I'm not 5 oh my god.”
“It's not just that it's that you're canceling our hangout for him.”
“We always hang out-”
“Exactly so I don't know why you're jumping so quickly to change it over some dick.”
“Im not like that and you fucking know it. You of all people should know that this is a chance I don't want to miss out on just because we order food and stare at a tv for hours on saturdays.”
“Oh so that's all it is to you. Staring at a tv.’ Jude rolls his eyes.
“It's not like that, I love hanging out with you. "
" I just don't understand why you're suddenly so eager to see anyone right now . I can't make any plans with anyone without you storming down here and telling me it's a waste of time. " He sighs 
You stare at him in disbelief. “Because you have a career ?? i don't give two shits who you talk to, but I can't let you make dumb decisions. I will always be your best friend, that's my job and nothing more."
"That's why this is so frustrating,” He waves his hands in the air aimlessly, “Do you even know what you're saying to me?"
"You're not making sense." You shake your head. 
 “I don't want to fight with you, I just don't understand why you're acting so selfish.”
“That's your problem, you act like I'm doing something wrong instead of being happy for me."
“You dont fucking get it do you oh my god I dont know how to be any more clear with you so you can get It.”
You don't say anything, choosing not to read any deeper into his words and instead watch the rest of the movie in silence. You don't have it in you to argue with him anymore. You care for him, truly. He's your best friend and you couldn't be happier or more proud to be able to have him by your side. 
But there's always that prickle of feeling that lays within you. A prickle of yearning, a wanting for more. You're not blind by any means, Jude is a handsome man and he's grown into his features better than you expected. 
You don't know if it's just delusion, but there's always a base layer of tension between you too. Always a second away from something going too far and it leading where it probably shouldn't. 
But you know it's deeper than a what if for you. You've found a good friend in him and somewhere along the way you've drifted to less than only platonic feelings. But you also know the way Jude is, the way he acts and talks is just that. Not meant to be read deeper and you dont let anything get your hopes up anymore. 
It's the reason why you said yes to that guy in the first place, so you can hopefully stop crushing on your best friend and move on.
Your over-thinking soon passes the time and you find yourself in an awkward quiet that neither of you want to break in fear of more arguing. But Jude takes the risk.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles.
"For what Jude? "
"For how I acted, and what I said. It was an asshole move to assume you're only gonna meet him for dick when I know you aren't like that. And for acting like you can only hang out with me. I'm sorry.”
You sit there silently, not saying a word. 
He turns to face you almost desperately, “You're my best friend you really are. I care about you, more than anyone else. And i just- fuck it. You’ve given me some of the most precious moments of my life, but I think I’d be a better boyfriend if you’d let me, friends just doesn’t do justice to what I feel for you anymore.”
You stand up and walk over to him, standing between his legs and placing his hands in yours, gently smiling.
“Please say something.” He whispers. 
“I can't think of anything I want more than for you to be mine Jude.”
He jumps at that, bringing you flush to his chest, “What about the guy on saturday?’ “I'm obviously going to cancel and tell him I'm no longer available.”
“Good.” He smiles. There is a moment where his gaze focuses on your lips and you can feel your face blush at the newfound attention.
“Can I, kiss you ?” He breathes
You give a nod, and no sooner do his hands gently cup your face, his lips meeting yours.
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Note
hello! i’m love your post and arts so much! I look at your posts after a hard day and my mood immediately changes to excellent. can I ask a couple of questions?
which pairing with Ethan do you prefer?
and… can we get to know you better? a little biography?
Thank you for your time! I'll be waiting for new arts! (sorry if i made mistakes, my english is not so good. im russian)
i like basically every ship with ethan! it mostly depends on the mood im in, but if im being honest, mithan, winterfield, and wintersberg gets frustrating to think about because they all dont treat ethan well canonically... lethan is fun because they have never met and i can make my own assumptions!
i used to like wintersberg the most and i still do like it, i just have expanded my horizons to other ships as well...., its mostly like a punchline to me though. they have the funniest potential which is why a majority of their posts is just joke comics. i do not like how people try to erase how karl is arrogant and egotistical tho. thats like removing the flavor.... the way karl acts is just very funny to me, hes so lame in a good way and i like how everytime he talks to ethan it sounds like hes twirling his hair and kicking his feet. canonically speaking, karl was very much in the wrong for trying to use rose and not elaborating and i will die on this hill. ethan is not in the wrong for being disgusted and angry that karl would ever try and propose that in the deal. karl is very arrogant so when ethan says no to him it makes him mad and he tries to use fear to get ethan to take his deal (kicking his chair and warning him) i like karl, i like how messed up and arrogant he is but i dislike how people try to portray him as a nice guy. however, in a AU where everythings the same except he doesnt try to use rose i do enjoy the dynamic they could have, especially if the teamed up (not with the deal where they use rose. ethan wouldnt agree unless karl never involved rose in the first place). karl is just a very entertaining character and i like him a lot, hes funny and his personality can be extremely hilarious
mia and ethan is pretty tragic and thinking about it too much makes me a bit sad, imo in a reality where ethan survives re8, he needs to divorce mia. im not saying ethan needs to hate mia and never talk to her again i just dont think they should be so intimate together because of her behavior... please do not take this as anti mia. they loved each other dearly but it wasnt healthy. their relationship was kept afloat by lies and mia doesnt change even though she deals with the consequences of her own actions in re7. she actively tries to hide her past from ethan and is mostly focused on trying to move on and have a normal life even if ethan will have to live the rest of his life in the dark.
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she loves her family so much, shes very afraid of them leaving her so she hides all the bad things in the hopes that they wont leave. its selfish, its human, its real, her character is so amazing and i love her. she doesnt learn from re7 and hides important information from ethan again. i geniunly think they should have gotten divorced after re8 if ethan had survived. its tragic and its sad but they love each other so much. it sad because they both geniunly love rose so much but they themselves shouldnt be together. its just sad to think about it. whenever i draw them it usually takes place before re7. they should have divorced on good terms and shared custody of rose.........
ethan and chris is also frustrating to think about... chris is a major jerk in re8, whenever i draw it, its under a unspoken AU that chris did not behave the way he did in re8. his weird behavior in re8 is probably for a meta reason imo. capcom wanted to set up a twist villian so they make chris very vague and unesscarily cruel. while its frustrating that they turned chris into a jerk for the sake of a twist, it still happens in canon and i will forever roll my eyes whenever i see him on screen. he did what he thought was best but imo, execution matters more than the intentions. same applies to mia. they both did things that hurt ethan because they thought it would be the best but in the end they just hurt ethan.
all the ships ive discussed with people ethan has met canonically just makes it look like i dont even like the ships... LOL ... ethan just has horrible luck with the people he meets i guess... but i do enjoy the ships and drawing them, but again all of them come with the canon baggage that ends up making me sad because everyone treats ethan poorly whether they had good intentions or not
which is why leon and ethan is the most fun to draw without getting stressed... LOL... they have never met but just drawing what i think their dynamic would be like is very fun.
please dont take this post personally, this isnt a post declaring why ur fave ship sucks, this is just my own personal preferences and in the end i draw all of them anyways
if i had to rank the ships based on drawing silly comics it would be
wintersberg
mithan
lethan
winterfield
wintersberg has the funniest potential just because of karl and mithan can be funny if u water it down to "i love my wife so much" and said wife comes home with suspicious amounts of hard cash
i enjoy making joke comics far to much
if i were to rank the ships based on how healthy they would actually be for ethan it would be
lethan
winterfield, mithan, wintersberg (no particular order)
sorry 😭
leon and ethan have literally never met but imo it would still be the healthiest because ethan gets to start new
the three other ships r all unhealthy in some way, at least canonically without changing much about the characters (i do like winterfield but just because of how chris behaved in re8 it knocked them down)
i cant even rank them on personal preference because my opinion changes so often 😭 it changes based on discussions i have with my friends or recent art i see that inspires me... me and my friends recently had a discussion about mia and ethans relationship which made me very frustrated and sad with mia so i defiently wouldnt be drawing them anytime soon... meanwhile i hvae been talking to a friend who really likes winterfield often so the conversations we have give me art ideas and i end up drawing it more. if a friend of mine really enjoyed wintersberg or lethan and talked to me about it often id probably start drawing it more, the joys of being a multishipper
it changes a lot based on how im feeling and if im in the mood to draw something funny or something serious
sorry u asked a really simple question and i responded with a essay
and a little bit about myself is that i go by crumb, i am 18 and i go by all pronouns and prefer it/its
im vietnamese and live in texas
i made this tumblr acc solely so i could post my ethan art and im a re7/re8 girly so if ur here waiting for me to draw the re1-re6 characters im sorry u should probably expect nothing
i also make personal animations sometimes which u can find here
thanks for the ask and sorry for the rant!
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miquella-everywhere · 3 months
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Miquella and Griffith: Why the comparisons make no damn sense
So instead of me screaming to the sky, "Waah Miquella is Griffith theories make me so mad grrrr I hate them so much" I've decided that I'm going to do an analysis between the two characters and dissect why the comparisons and Giffiths influence on Miquella makes absolutely no damn sense.
So first and foremost, warning: I will be talking about and spoiling Berserk, so if you wanna read it for yourself then steer clear of this analysis
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So to start off let's discuss Griffith and his character/motivations in Berserks story: Griffiths whole goal from childhood was to establish his own country, his own paradise and to achieve that goal he first established his own mercenary group The Band of the Hawk. Griffith was beautiful and charismatic and the people who were apart of his band all looked up to Griffith and admired him, placing all of their hopes and faith into him and his dream.
But as the story goes on Griffith hits an all time low point, and after essentially being tortured for a year, which makes him emaciated, weak and practically crippled for life, all of Griffiths dreams seem like an utter impossibility as he is left as nothing more than a shadow of his former self.
That is until he decides to cast everything aside to become a God.
And by cast everything aside I mean that he betrays his companions, his Band of the Hawk, and sacrifices their lives to untold evils in what is absolutely the most genuinely horrific and unsettling imagery I have ever seen from a work of fiction in my entire life.
(Going off topic but I cannot stress this enough that if you decide to read Berserk understand that the violence shown pulls no punches with its depictions and involves both heavy gore and sexual violence. Especially the sexual violence)
Anyway, what makes the Band of the Hawks sacrifice so jarring is that these people all loved Griffith. They adored him. Backed him every step of the way and were the ones to go and rescue him as he was being tortured, and they all mourned the pitiful state that he was in when they found him. But regardless they STILL tried to be hopeful for Griffiths sake.
The Band of the Hawk loved Griffith and that is why Griffiths betrayal of them hits so hard and is why Griffith is known as one of the most evil characters in fiction.
And all of these reasons are precisely why Griffith is such a good and compelling character.
From the beginning of Griffiths introduction you could tell that something was... off about him. But at the same time his charisma and big ambitions painted him in a sympathetic light and you rooted for Griffith. But as the story went on you could see how Griffith was going deeper and deeper into the darkness and, quite frankly, his subsequent torture is entirely his own fault because he made several stupid and completely avoidable choices.
And it's all because Griffith at his core is selfish.
And it's for exactly these reasons why it's so baffling to me that so many people believe that Miquella is going to be just as evil, or worse, than Griffith.
Because in truth unlike Griffith, Miquella is not selfish.
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The main problem that I have with the Miquella is Griffith comparisons is that all of those theories hinge entirely on the Bewitching Branch item description, and so many people have gone out of their way to spin Miquellas ability to compel affection as definitive proof that he is manipulative and evil, meanwhile conveniently ignoring everything else that Miquella has done in the lore.
So for a single moment, let's pretend that the Bewitching Branch does not exist and take a look at all the other lore that surrounds Miquella:
Miquella has dedicated most of his life to curing Malenia, his twin sister, of her crippling disease, and has even crafted prosthetics for her as well as an entirely new type of God Repellent Metal, which can halt the effects of said disease
He was a Golden Order Fundamentalist but ultimately abandoned it because it could not cure Malenias sickness
He created a Haven for those who are outcasts in the eyes of the most dominating and repressive Order in the Lands Between
He watered said Haven/the Haligtree with his own blood so it could grow into something that could rival the Erdtree
He used his identity as St. Trina to sing to and ease those who have been afflicted by the Frenzied Flame
There are several statues that depict Miquella and Malenia embracing eachother, 1 in Altus in an area dubbed Miquellas Hideaway and several all over the Haligtree. The fact that this statue is the dominant imagery found at the Haligtree really hammers in the fact that the twins love eachother, and that the Haligtree isn't just Miquella's, but Malenias home as well
He also has a clear affection/love for his brother Godwyn as the statue at the Haligtree depicts him embracing his siblings and even created a sword to commemorate Godwyns death and prayed for him to Die a True Death.
The soldiers of the Haligtree came across a bitter revelation as they await Miquella(presumably they feel immense guilt for being unable to protect their Lord) and explode with light, which they hope will guide Miquellas return and no Miquella did not put the light in them to make them explode there is absolutely zero proof of that, looking at you vaati
And now to be fair, lets get into the comparisons that are shared between the Griffith and Miquella:
Both are highly charismatic and beautiful individuals to the point where both Griffith and Miquella are mistaken for being girls.
The Eclispe imagery. For Griffith the Eclipse is what allows him to ascend to Godhood(after sacrificing the people who love him) and for Miquella the Eclipse is presumably how they are trying to resurrect Godwyn (Miquellas plans for the Eclipse are mostly unknown/vague at this point)
The Egg. Griffith and Miquella both go through a type of metamorphosis involving being encased in a cocoon/egg.
And honestly that's kinda it. The straight comparisons between the two are highly lacking and purely thematic in my opinion, especially when you consider everything else going on between their respective characters.
So to summarize, the good things that Miquella has done outweighs the bad and that is why Miquella is, in actuality, the exact opposite of Griffith. Unlike Griffith who is selfish, Elden Ring canon points to Miquella being a compassionate and loving individual, and if anything, he is a complete inversion to Griffiths character.
With the points listed above a majority of the in game text highly suggests that Miquella is kind and altruistic, and with the newest text regarding Miquella in the DLC:
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Points to Miquella potentially being selfless and self-sacrificial.
And also, I've seen several people argue that Miquella wants to become a God so he can create his own utopia/Falconia like Griffith did. And I'm like.... Uuuum okay well, there is a big problem with that argument along with an elephant in the room that's being completely ignored, and that is the fact that Miquella has already created his utopia/Falconia with the Haligtree and Elphael.
So as of this moment Miquellas exact goals are completely unknown, what he is doing in the World of Shadow cannot be determined until the DLC arrives. But my point remains that so many people seem to think that Miquella will be evil based off of, in my opinion, evidence that is completely lacking in substance, along with the pervasive belief that since Elden Ring has drawn inspiration from Berserk/Griffith it means that Miquella will end up as a similar type of evil character as Griffith, all while ignoring the things that Miquella has done in canon that sets him apart as his own character.
So I've said my piece and what I believe in, so I'm just going to leave this analysis with this last statement:
The good that Miquella has done and committed himself too in the Lands Between completely outweighs the singular implied evil of the Bewitching Branch.
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universaln0b0dy · 1 month
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Hello I was wondering if there can be a part two to Monster where the boys confront the reader about their overblot? You can ignore this if you to.
here we go!
(Aftermath of this: Monster
Summary: They saw what you're capable of and now you fear that they might hate you....
Note: angst n fluff (Leona, Floyd and Rook), very ooc- also I apologise if this isn't what you imagined or if it's too cringe. I finished writing this at three a.m.-
Leona:
You had tried your best to ignore the lion after the Overblot, the way he had fixated you while you were in your overblot form scared you. You decided to yeet your feelings for him in the trash and ignore him, so he wouldn't ask questions.
After a week of successfully avoiding the lion your lucky strike comes to an end and you found yourself in a kinda funny position. Trapped between his arms.
"Herbivore, why are you ignoring me?" Leonas tail flkvjed from one side to the other, hid green eyes staring into yours. Your poor heart was shattering into a thousand pieces as you realised he would question you about your monster form.
"Because I don't want to be questioned about my Overblot form. I can't explain it either." You mumble coldly, trying to free yourself out of his grasp, but Leona seems disappointed, like he wanted to hear something else. But the fleeting gaze was soon replaced by his usual grumpy frown.
"I don't care about that Overblot form of yours, I would just don't like being indebted to people." He snarles, moving both of his hands away from you. You could just make a fun for it, but you don't, so you decide to play abit obvious.
"What debt, there is no debt." You mutter, avoiding Leonas eyes. The male sighs. "You saved my life there, of course I am indebted to you." Something about the way he said that made you confused. Leona wasn't the type to admit he owed someone something, or come to that person to talk about said debt.
"How about I let you stay in my dorm over the winter. As far as I know Ramshackle can get very cold." You were about to slap yourself in order to check if you were dreaming or not.
"Are you sure? I don't think you would like a monster like me staying in your dorm." You mumble looking to the side, only to hear him chuckle.
"I have seen your Overblot form and let me tell you, your not a monster.... if I am honest you looked kinda hot."
"WHAT?"
Floyd:
"SHRIIIMPY~"
You had barely finished fighting Jamil and you most definitely weren't in the mood for explaining about your Overblot form. It made you uncomfortable how Azul and Jade looked at you, keeping their distance. You were exhausted and their judging gaze didn't help your case.
Floyd on the other hand had other plans. You should have expected this, he would be mad you kept such a big thing from him after all. You lean against a wall, breathing heavily. The eel stops right in front of you, looking at you with curiosity, but also a sour mood in his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me you could willingly Overblot shrimpy?" Just as expected he sounded disappointed. You shrugged slightly, trying to keep your eyes open.
"I thought it would be better if I didn't tell anyone I was a monster." You mutter, leaning to the side. Floyd isn't content with that answer, as if he could sniff out the fact you were lying.
"That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me shrimpy, I thought we had something special!" Hearing that takes you of guard and you look at him with tears. You were trying to fight them, but that didn't stop them from flowing.
"I'm sorry Floyd, you're right, I should have told you.... it was wrong of me to keep it just because.... I.... you.... stay.." you couldn't complete the sentence and your voice breaks in between. You were selfish, yes, Floyd was a moody eel and many people considered him a monster, but why should he be forced to continue to like one, just because you couldn't get your sorry ass to tell him about everything.
"I should have told you I was a monster, than you wouldn't have wasted your time on me." Floyds expression softens for a second and he pulls you into a hug.
"Dawww! Shrimpy! I still like you! You're still my shrimp, even once you are covered in ink!"
The only thing you can do is squeeze him back.
Rook:
Rook was eccentric and that was why he still liked you. There was a subtle shift in his behaviour after you had helped fight Vil, he stopped being overly entranced with Vil, going over to shower you in compliments. You didn't know how long that shift would last, but you enjoyed every second of it.
"Trickster! That was un suprise! You looked manifique!" You lean your head towards the side, cheecks burning with embarrassment. Vil eyed you both, smiling softly.
"I hope this will finally stop Rook from barging into my room just to talk about the fact that the prefect developed a new habit."
You heard Vil, luckily. If you hadn't you might would have expected Rook to just revert back to his old self, but this gave you hope, hope that you would be more than just his current intrest. You looked around, everyone seemed chill with the fact you just overblotted and turned back like it was nothing. It didn't matter that Rook was eccentric, you could always trust his gut feeling.
"Rook, are you sure that a monster like me looked... manifique?" You ask jokingly, Rook grasps his heart in an over dramatic motion. "Oui, oui! Mon dieu, If I ever hear you say something like that again I will make sure to cut you off before that sentence can get to your head!"
You chuckle a bit, before going back to serios. "No Rook, I really want you to know that it's okay if-"
You blink a few seconds trying to comprehend what just happened. Did Rook really just kiss you, or did you just imagine that? Your knees get wobbly, maybe because you were exhausted or because you were embarrassed, you didn't know.
"OMGWHYDIDYOUDOTHAT?" You manage to squeal and Rook chuckles. "I warned you trickster and mark my words I will do it again."
Vil, please get your hunter under control, the prefekts heart might explode if it has to endure this any longer.
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vrisrezis · 9 months
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Yuta better than me if geto grabbed my hands like that I would fold so quick
Anyways more Yan! Geto x reader I’m very deranged
Normal Yan stuff but there’s a lot of like worship and treating reader like a god ,, slight nsfw geto is very subby in this! this gets into getou cult territory and again treating reader like his god but this is still a weird college au
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Yan! Geto who starts becoming more and more obsessive as the years go by
Yan! Geto who gets more and more jealous, don’t be surprised when more people around you end up dying!
And while on the topic, if you manage to piss him off you’ll find their corpses in your house yourself!
Thankfully, he is very forgiving and it’s very hard to make him upset!
Yan! Geto who only truly gets pissed off at you if you are deliberately ignoring him, and no, it’s not in his head. He knows you’re ignoring him. He will make you regret doing that.
Yan! Geto who, despite how jealous he gets, would never kill any of your friends or any family because he understands how important those things are. He will make sure you know how he feels though.
Yan! Geto who would slaughter so many people if it meant you’d no longer suffer or be sad
Yan! Geto who regrets forcing you to see those rotting corpses when he was mad at you, because he’s worked long and hard to keep you away from that side of him, because it made you scared and upset and he doesn’t want to be the cause of your fear.
And so he never does it again, even when he gets angry!
Yan! Geto who does everything for you because he wants to make a good impact on your life, he needs to mean something. Even if it’s nothing much, it’s okay.
Yan! Geto who’s easy to use. He’s very susceptible to being manipulated, just say the word, you don’t even have to be nice about it! He is merely your servant, you are simply his god.
Yan! Geto who tries to make you laugh a lot, typically it works cause he’s funny but it never fails to make him blush.
Yan! Geto who has to stop himself from drooling at you in class.
Yan! Geto who has to stop himself from palming his clothed cock in gym class, watching you play football with satoru, nanami, and a bunch of other kids.
Yan! Geto who cannot play sports with you cause he ends up doing terribly whenever you’re playing, his knees buckle everytime.
Yan! Geto who worships the ground you walk on and worships the very air you breathe
Yan! Geto who is so intensely in love he calls you his god.
And as such he needs to serve his god in anyway he can
Yan! Geto who believes you are god but are far too humble about it, so he constantly does things to make you realize you have all the power in the world at your fingertips, even if you don’t realize it
Yan! Geto who’s heart practically explodes when you tell him to start finding other friends, you don’t want him to be lonely! You must really love him! But don’t fret darling, for you are the only one that cures loneliness and he could never get sick of you!
But once you become set on it, he manages to find a whole group of friends! Friends he’s gained the respect of, friends he has power over. He wouldn’t even say they’re friends, more like family. He of course, wants you a part of that, so he hands the power where it belongs, to you, a god. His god.
Yan! Geto hopes you’re grateful for the new family! He understands none of them are good enough for your graces, but he hopes you’ll give even them a chance. He spent so much time with them after all, and they’re lovely people! He knows that doesn’t mean much, coming from him. He’s far from lovely and so are these people when in comparison to you.
Yan! Geto will never let you go, for as selfish and as undeserving he is, he cannot let you leave his life. He understands it’s not fair to you, but selfishly he doesn’t care enough. He berates himself for it constantly, and doesn’t blame you when you do the same (he in fact gets off to it so please be mean to him)
Yan! Geto who becomes to convinced you’re a deity, he offers anything to you. While these can be things like food, candy, clothes, adorable stuffed animals and fun video games and even expensive pc’s, he eventually no longer feels guilt about mangled corpses showing up at your door, because he is convinced you want some sort of sacrifice, an offering for him not being good enough for you. He hopes this will suffice, please keep him around a little longer!
Yan! Geto will listen if you tell him to stop though, your wish is his command, after all. He exists to merely serve you.
Yan! Geto who worships you because of who you are. You’ve given him everything, you’ve given him life itself. He didn’t know what living felt like before he met you.
Yan! Geto who worships you for everything you’ve done for him. Every small kind gesture, even as simple as giving him a polite smile or holding open the door, sets his heart ablaze and has his body on fire. He yearns for you, and yet, he’s so aware that he’s not enough. No one is, quite frankly. But still… he’s the closest thing to being good enough, right?
Yan! Geto who could actually cum if you compliment him.
Yan! Geto who knows he should ask before being so clingy with you but he simply cannot help himself. You guys are a couple right? Even if you are so much more than him, you wouldn’t mind him suddenly grabbing your hand, would you?
Yan! Geto who thinks of you fucking him in the shower. He hears shower sex isn’t as pleasant as the movies make it seem, but he knows you could make anything pure bliss.
Yan! Geto is nothing but a toy to be used at your disposal, but he understands if you don’t want others to know what you do to him. After all, you must be so embarrassed of him. He’s done so many things considered to be down horrifically bad.
Yan! Geto who sees how much these lowly beings make you miserable. So he ends them. Not just them. He becomes convinced most people in the world only exist as not only a inconvenience but also to make you suffer, so he deals with them accordingly.
Yan! Geto who cannot stand the sight of people thinking they have the right to talk to you. They are nothing but the dirt beneath your shoe.
Yan! Geto who tells you everything he’s ever done has been for you. And he isn’t lying!
Yan! Geto is willing to strip himself of his humanity, his dignity, all for you to love him. But even then, while he hopes for you to, he doesn’t ask for it. He knows it’s wishful thinking. He wants your approval. Your smile, your laugh. He wants you to be pleased with him. He wants your heart, your mind and your body. He wants you to bare your entire soul to him, he wants you to be completely unburdened. He will do anything to achieve that.
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