#but it’s important to push through that discomfort and be genuine to who you are and what you believe

[angelnumber27]

“For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told and become upset if they are exposed to any different view”

-Michael Crichton, Lost World (1995)

[eiightysixbaby]

thinking about asking the boys to take your virginity 🥴

ugh, god. I love this.

You don’t need to ask Eddie twice. As soon as you pose the question, he’s scooping you into his arms and kissing you. “I’m flattered you want it to be me, sweetheart,” he says after you’ve asked. “We’ll take everything at your pace, ‘kay?” And oh god he’s so sweet about it all, his goofiness easing your nerves. He’s treating you like a queen, doting on you extra just making sure you’re thoroughly aroused for him. He kisses you everywhere, lets his fingers work their magic on you as he reminds you how fucking special you are. He soothes you through any of that initial discomfort, holding himself back from going absolutely wild over how good you feel around him. He makes you laugh during any of the awkward moments, nose brushing yours and capturing your lips in kisses to relax you. When you start to get more comfortable, start making little noises of pleasure for him he just about dies, so excited to be the first person who gets to have you like this. “You’re my fucking favorite thing in the world, you know that right?” he’s murmuring into your ear as he rocks slowly into you.

Steve is so smitten when you ask him, so honored that you trust him with this. “Are you sure? We can wait as long as you need to, there’s no rush…” but you’re insisting that you want it, that you’re ready and that you wouldn’t want your first time to be with anyone but him. You know what you’re getting into, he’s huge and you’re honestly nervous about how he’s going to fit. Steve himself is apprehensive as well, telling you over and over to let him know if he has to stop or slow down. He’s as gentle with you as he possibly can be, groaning when that first inch of him is inside of you. “You’re so perfect. Feel so good, my god,” and his praise makes you giddy, helps you feel more confident in taking all of him. You’re both seeing stars by the time he’s fit himself fully inside of you, and he’s just soooo vocal with you. Moaning and praising you nonstop. He’s so sick with adoration as he watches your eyes struggle to stay open with each of his thrusts. He tells you again and again how pretty you are, how gorgeous you look while you let him take you. If he makes you finish the first time, he’s extremely pleased with himself, finding it so important that you have the best experience possible.

Sweet boy Jonathan is probably genuinely flustered when you ask him, he’s so unbelievably excited but he’s blushing like crazy when you get the words out. “You’re sure? You really want to?” he’s hesitantly asking, holding your hands in his and squeezing them. Once he’s got you sprawled out in waiting on his bed, he’s hovering over you, hands massaging every inch of your skin that they can reach. His touch is soothing while also making you grow needier, whining for more. He eats you out before fucking you, wanting to get you nice and wet and not being able to resist having a taste of you. The way his hands grip your plush thighs and his face buries into your cunt as you reeling, it’s so clear how much he loves making you feel good and your heart pounds in anticipation. He’s slow as he starts to push into you, his fingers brushing your hair out of your face and stroking your cheeks, smirking when you dig your nails into his back. He can’t stomach the thought of hurting you, and he’s kissing the worry lines on your forehead as you adjust to the stretch to fit him, shushing you softly and reassuring you that he’s got you. “I’m here, angel. You okay? Need me to change anything?” he’s asking you, and you’re shaking your head no, pleading with him to just keep going.

[ddollfface]

Can I please request a Yandere Hanayama Kaoru head canon?

𝐀 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

𝙆𝙖𝙤𝙧𝙪 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙮𝙖𝙢𝙖 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣

Warnings; reader is afab/described a girl, yandere behaviors, stalking, I talk a lot, lots of ramblings, probably doesn't make any sense, bad writing, more stalking, Tumblr is trying to silence me, ngl Hanayama is growing on me... If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Bro, I'm so sorry that this is super rushed, seeing as I hit the word limit??? I'm super confused because I barely wrote anything, but whatever. A lot of my headcanons are based around @yandere-writer-momo. Also, sorry for being offline for so long lol, kinda forgot I had Tumblr ngl :/

Okay, to start this off, I think that realistically, it'd be very, very, very hard to get Hanayama's attention. He's shown to be stoic and stone-faced, only showing respect and warmth toward specific people (Baki and Shiba included). And I think it's important to mention that the people he does respect is due to their fighting spirit and/or strength, that or they were there during his childhood (like Kizaki and his mama).

And that's just for him to show basic affection toward them, not even accounting for being loving. For you to catch his attention, I think that you'd have to be either a really strong fighter (meaning having impressive skills of some sort) or have a strong will, either one will work. (Though, a lot of the time, both go hand-in-hand).

When I say a strong will, I don't mean you get up after being punched over and over, instead, it can just be standing up for others. Similar to Katsumi, I can see Hanayama being attracted to a person who's selfless, in the sense that they're brave. Someone who's willing to push through their fear and do it, whatever it is. Now, that catches his attention.

There's a never-ending list of cowards who'll run with their tails between their legs at the sight of discomfort, willing to abandon everything just for their own gain, and Hanayama encounters these men all the time. Let's just say that it gets boring, annoying even. So when you see someone who's spitfire, ready to jump into danger for themselves or others. Now, that's impressive.

Whether or not they can actually carry through doesn't matter too much, it's the fact that they got back up, not letting their dignity lay to rest. Personally, I find that Hanayama would be far more interested in someone who's genuinely acting selfless in this way, acting from the heart.

Going more into his childhood, I think this type is rooted in Hanayma's relationship with his mother. Though I haven't read the manga, from the wiki, I've gained that he was close to his mother, loving her very much. We don't know much about her. Hell, we don't even know her name, but we do know that she was kind.

That's the only information we're given, but even from that, I can make an analysis. From this, I know that Hanayama was likely a Mama's boy, though still being trained to be a Yakuta. I don't mean Mama's boy in the traditional sense, I mean it in the way that she was his peace, his way out of the Yukuta world, his destiny. Being raised in a gangster lifestyle isn't easy, nor is it soft, so just imagine the damage that type of environment can put on a child's brain?

Horrible, huh? So I like to think that Hanayama's mama, before she passed, was far softer to him, giving him some sense of security. this is possibly why he felt such sorrow after she passed, discarding the natural pain we feel when our mama dies (seeing as there's a primal connection we have with our mama, but that doesn't matter too much at the moment).

Hanayama is a very monotone kind of guy, who, I imagine, doesn't like people with some type of alternate motive. Like, y'know how politicians or businessmen talk? Like they're hiding something from you? Yeah, Hanayama loathes those kinds of people, especially if they're trying to pursue him. I belive that he wants someone who'll keep his life steady; be his calm, if you will.

He wants someone who will be upfront, express themselves clearly, and won't keep what they're thinking from you. To him, this is a breath of fresh air. Hanayama is constantly surrounded by lackeys trying to kiss up to him, speaking with a hidden motive (which isn't really hidden in retrospect). If they're not trying to appease them, then they're quacking in their boots, ready to piss themselves.

But you're not like that, no, not at all. You're different. Hanayama can tell, you aren't some coward, instead, you're someone to respect. He can imagine you sitting next to him, all pretty as a Yakuza's wife. Yeah, he likes the sound of that. Well, the only problem is that you don't know who he is, not yet at least.

I imagine that you wouldn't know who Hanayama is, at first, seeing as he never spoke to you. He likely witnessed you acting selfless in some type of way, expressing your kindness by helping a grandma get across the street, something like that.

You didn't notice him, but he sure noticed you. At first, it wasn't anything too special. Hanayama just found you interesting, wanting to see what you'd do next, so he had one or two of his men keep a tab on you--nothing serious. It continues like that for quite a while, and Hanayama learns more and more about you. He knows that you like to sing when you cook, tapping your feet to the beat, and swaying side-to-side. It's cute, he thinks. And Hanayama feels closer to you, as if you know each other, like you're friends.

But then one of his men reports that you're not at home, not following your usual schedule. Instead, you were at some dingy cafe, drinking crappy coffee with another man, some slumbag who looked like he hadn't showered in a hot second. For some reason, which Hanayama doesn't know, he gets ticked off.

Someone as sweet, kind, and damn pretty as you shouldn't associate with someone like him, someone so gross.

He doesn't do anything, no, no yet. It'd be too brash, and too stupid. And Hanayama isn't stupid. No, Hanayama can keep himself composed, now knowing that he needs to get your attention. Afterall, he can't have you running around with other men, not when he's right here! Well... you don't know that, yet.

Few weeks pass, and you've completely forgotten the trashy date you had gone on, but Hanayama hasn't. You begin to notice new outfits appearing in your closet, clothing you certainly didn't have previously. They're far too expensive, too revealing for you to own.

You'll be confused, especially when these dresses, heels, and coats are no longer just appearing, but instead, being presented. Now, instead of being hung up or nicely folded in your closet, they're being laid out on your bed, accompanied by a pretty, black leather box with silk insides. A little note is stuck on top of the shimmering dress, causing you to gulp, looking around as a shiver racks through your body.

Who the hell is buying you a dress? (though, it looks far more like lingerie, seeing as you'd never be able to wear it out in public). You don't know, but you can't help but feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you lift the velvet cloth, feeling the lace slip through your fingers. Once you tried it on, listen, you couldn't help but feel curious, you gawked at how it fit you like a glove, hugging your curves, and accentuating your hips and bust.

It's fucking creepy, that's all you can think, but it gets worse, way worse. Throughout the weeks, you notice more and more gifts show up at your doorstep. The dresses get severely revealing, much to your discomfort. So do the notes. They get too detailed and too accurate to your day-to-day. By now, it's clear that you have a stalker, a rich one at that.

I'd have to say that this is the worst part of being with Hanayama: the courting. It's hella weird! You'll never feel alone, always having someone watching you, mostly Hanayama. He doesn't have his lackeys watching you anymore, seeing as he's far too jealous for that. He doesn't want someone as low at them to see you in such an innocent, vulnerable state. No, that's only for him to see.

Don't be surprised when he shows up at your door, your last hookup's head in hand and a bundle of roses in the other. After all, it's time for you to come home, no?

[livelaughlovesubs]

Submissive who pretends he isn’t interested and tries to escape but femdom finds him because she knows he’s shy please

I’m not sure if you meant the girl kidnapped him or not. Like it sounds as if she kidnapped the dude, cuz she’s a yandere, and he pretends he doesn’t like her and hides his feelings then escapes, but she finds him and goes, “aww you are just shy, just a thundere.” I’ll try my best to fulfil your request though

Femdom x subbyboy (a little different than what I usually write)

It’s just some fluff

“Aww, I love you~!” You said, spreading your arms and trying to hug your friend. Instead of doing the same, he avoided you and took a step to the side. “Damn, that hurt me.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at your words, then he put his hands into his pockets. “You keep saying weird things.” The male said, starting to walk off. Without a moment hesitation you followed him, replying, “It’s true, my babyboy.” And winked at him. “Bro… nu uh.” Your friend shook his head, laughing awkwardly.

The two of you have been friends for a few years now, so those antics were common. But lately, you’ve been wondering if you genuinely had feelings for him. In the end you came to the conclusion you did, and you tried to tell him multiple times. Every time you’d hang out, even over texts you’d keep flirt with him. Despite all that, he won’t listen to you or acknowledge your feelings for him. He wasn’t turned you down though..! So, is he perhaps shy?

Before you started all this, you mentioned to him how you valued your friendship, and if he turns you down you wouldn’t be mad. Sometimes he was a pushover, and thought his feelings aren’t that important so he wouldn’t tell you things, but you made sure he understood what you meant. You really liked him, which was also very obvious by the way you act. Hugging him a lot, complimenting him and making flirty but funny comments. Though if you ever sensed even a hint of discomfort within him, you’d stop at the spot.

You were conflicted. Should you try and keep pursue him, or move on? The later was easier said than done, especially since you two still hung out a lot. There was lot of pull and push, heart races or stings. In the end, you decided to give it up. He was starting to lessen the physical contacts between you two, you really should take a hint shouldn’t you?

Let’s just act like your feelings perished, that’s what you had planned out while walking to his home. Today was a weekend, and he invited you over to cook at his place, something you both did a lot. He was a pretty good cook since he lived alone, and you’d always jokingly call him your housewife. The sound of the doorbell rang through your ears, followed by the click sound of a lock. As expected, your friend opened the door and welcomed you inside. Without wasting too much time, the two of you went to the kitchen and started cooking. To your surprise the food was already chopped, he had prepared it in advance. You immediately turned to face him, then hugged him tightly, “ahh!! Cute! Be my wife alright?!” There goes your plan…

His eyes widened and he grabbed the kitchen counter. Your sudden attack made him back up a little, hips hitting the table. “Get off woman! You are heavy!” He shouted, his hands were kept far away from you. “Alright alright! Sorry.” You answered and released him, then asked, “sooo, what do we have to do first?”

After the cooking session, which consisted of him giving you instructions on how to make the dish, you two decided to watch the movie. The curry was still boiling, and he set a timer for it. Now you were all alone, sitting on the couch next to each other. Some intrusive thoughts plagued your mind. Should you bring up your feelings again? Or confront him about it? With all those things running through your head, you were barely able to focus on the film.

In the end, you sceptically wrapped a hand around his shoulder, while your eyes were glued to the horror movie in front of you. That’s when you thought your heart skipped a beat, when he suddenly inched closer to you, and put his head on your shoulder. This continued for a bit, neither spike a single word. After some time, the position changed and you were basically hugging him from behind, while he rested his head on your chest. You whispered, “why don’t you just sit on my lap at this point?” Since he was getting awfully close, but to your dismay he refused.

Oh well, it’s something at least. But you really thought he didn’t like physical contact with you anymore? You were even worried that it was harassment, what if he didn’t like it after all? Leading to your question, “you don’t mind me being clingy..?” “Not when we aren’t in public.” Your friend replied in the split of a second, his answer shoot out immediately. “Oh.” Honestly, you were really glad to hear that, the last thing you’d want was for him to hate you, or to hurt him.

As the film progressed, you found yourself enjoying his company more and more. He also smelled so good, so fresh and.. just pleasing. At some point you commented on that as well, “you smell nice.” To which he said, “mhm.” If only you were able to take single glance at his face, then you would have noticed the blush on his cheeks. Then you continued, “you are so handsome~ man, why won’t you date me?” Surprising your emotions? Screw that. You were fully back to your usual self again. In response to your compliment he stood up, grabbing his phone and saying, “the timer is up.” Then he went to the kitchen, leaving you alone and dumbfounded.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not supporting my friend’s relationship?

(@aita mod I pinky promise that this is not an “aita for thinking/feeling something” submission, I’m just a long winded mf)

Okay this is admittedly stupid stupid dumb but it’s bothering the hell out of me so here we go. I (26X) have a friend (23NB) who recently got into a nice, stable(?) relationship after a string of messy short-term ones. They’ve been dating for ~2 months now, and the guy (early 30s?M) seems really nice and genuine. My friend is very happy and gushes about him constantly, which makes sense because the relationship is fairly new and their most recent previous relationships were with people who weren’t very open or communicative at all. I feel like the only valid reason I could possibly have to not like this dude is the age gap, which is more of a personal ick as I’m not really comfortable with dating anyone more than 5 years older/younger than me. They’re both adults and it’s their love life, so whatever.

The thing is, I just…do not share their enthusiasm for this guy. At all. He seems like a cool guy, but the fact that he’s dating my friend just isn’t jiving in my brain for whatever reason. I’m getting an inexplicable weird vibe. When I see a picture of them doing cute couple shit on instagram or wherever, my reaction isn’t “that’s adorable, I’m so happy for [friendname]!” or even “I’m glad they’re happy!” It’s more like “eugh, why are they doing that? I don’t want to see this.” This isn’t a normal reaction for me at all. I’m usually very supportive of my friends’ relationships as long as there are no obvious red flags. The only reason I can think of as to why I might be reacting this way is that an acquaintance of mine was pushing me to get with this same guy a couple years ago for NO REASON, and I was absolutely not interested, so it might be leftover discomfort from that. I don’t (consciously?) hold that against him though, that was 100% my acquaintance’s strange bullshit. I’m mostly into women and fem dudes, so there’s no latent attraction to my (masc leaning) friend or their bf involved either.

Here’s the part where I might be the asshole: because of my weird uncomfortable reaction to seeing this dude and my friend together, I haven’t been liking or commenting on posts/messages/etc about them being together or how wonderful this guy is. Social media interaction/validation is a big thing for them, and eventually they noticed that I wasn’t interacting with anything pertaining to their relationship. I don’t think I was obvious about it or anything, just operating on the “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” principle. Regardless, they asked me about it, and I went completely deer-in-the-headlights. I ended up saying something like “I just didn’t have anything to say about those posts, it’s not really my business” but I could tell they weren’t convinced. They asked me what I thought of the guy and I told them he seemed nice but I didn’t know him that well. I think that just made them more suspicious because I’ve been working for the same company as the guy for about 3 years now, but it is technically true. After my first few months I got transferred to a different department and haven’t seen him since.

They looked really disappointed and asked me if I could try to be a little more supportive of their relationship online, reminding me that this is “the first nice person [they’ve] dated in years” and that they “went through hell to find him.” (I think they were referring to their most recent breakups and exaggerating hardcore. They were messy, but I’ve heard every little detail about those relationships from them and they sounded like they ended due to plain old incompatibility/lack of interest. I would only call one of their recent exes “not a nice person.”) They ended the conversation by telling me that they trusted me and my approval was really important to them, which made me feel like shit, but it didn’t really make me see the relationship in a different light or anything. l definitely FEEL like an asshole, because even after they talked to me about it I have no plans to lie and act super into their boyfriend when I’m not. I realize how petty all of this sounds, but it’s obviously affecting my friend a lot, or else they wouldn’t have spoken to me about it in person. It just feels like I’d be an even worse friend if I started regularly lying to them about what I think of their relationship, even though I don’t have a valid reason for feeling the way I do. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[doumadono]

emergency request

im not sure if you write for genshin, so if you dont, you can ignore this

kaveh, thoma, and cyno (separately) with a reader who has severe social anxiety? they’re an extrovert, but their anxiety makes it really difficult to make new friends or talk to people they’re not super close to

thank you <3

Genshin men & gn!Reader with social anxiety - headcanons

GENSHIN IMPACT EMERGENCY REQUESTS

Kaveh

Kaveh notices your unease in social situations and decides to take a calm and patient approach.

He often invites you to quieter gatherings or one-on-one activities to make you feel more comfortable. "I've noticed that crowded places make you uncomfortable. How about we grab a coffee and find a quiet spot to chat?"

Kaveh doesn't push you into crowded events but rather provides a reassuring presence by your side.

He learns about your interests and engages in conversations about topics you're passionate about to ease the tension.

Kaveh encourages you to take small steps outside your comfort zone, praising your efforts along the way.

Kaveh is patient and a good listener, offering a comforting presence that makes you feel understood.

His calm demeanor and encouraging words make you feel safe and supported.

When you express your difficulty in making new friends, Kaveh takes it upon himself to gently encourage you to step out of your comfort zone. "I know it can be tough, but you're doing great. Just take your time."

Thoma

Thoma, being a kind and empathetic soul, notices your social anxiety early on. He doesn't push you into uncomfortable situations but rather finds ways to ease you into social interactions.

He introduces you to new people slowly, creating a safe and supportive environment. "Don't worry too much. We're all here to have a good time. If you ever need a break, just let me know, okay?"

Thoma enjoys spending time with you in nature, providing a serene backdrop for meaningful conversations.

He becomes your confidant, someone you can share your thoughts and fears with without judgment.

Thoma values quality over quantity when it comes to friendships, emphasizing the importance of genuine connections.

Thoma's easygoing nature helps to ease your anxiety, making social situations more enjoyable.

Thoma suggests creative ways to navigate social situations, like engaging in group activities that align with your interests.

Cyno

Cyno's cold exterior doesn't mean he's oblivious to your issues. In fact, he's highly observant, silently noting your discomfort and adjusting his approach accordingly.

Cyno introduces you to social situations gradually but strategically. He picks controlled environments, like quiet gatherings or exclusive events, where you can navigate social interactions with less pressure.

He respects your need for space and subtly adjusts his approach to accommodate your comfort level.

"I get it, socializing isn't everyone's cup of tea. I'd rather be honest about it. We can be alone together, if you want."

He encourages you to express yourself through various activities, finding shared interests to bond over.

He values your extroverted qualities but respects your need for space when anxiety kicks in as well.

[pinchofhoney]

Because I wanna spread the "we need more Belphagor" message, how about something with him? Platonic or romantic is your choice but we need more content for him bc he's so :))))

on the verge of a fever

belphegor x fem!reader

word count: 2.7k

warning: the way his character appears in the show has been changed for the purposes of this story; basically, here god is not trying to ruin the whole world, mention of drinking alcohol

summary: Ever wondered if Hell hosts Monopoly nights?

a/n: belphagor is my spirit animal. when you text me, it's the person who writes you back lmao my profile currently looks like a fan club of your requests, but it's not my fault that my obsession with this series is back and you're the only one with ideas related to it. i hope you enjoy it!!<33

pages that may interest you: masterlist ♡ taglist ♡ who i write for

gif is not mine, credit to the owner

Guiding Sam and Dean towards the bunk stairs, you couldn't help but notice the genuine concern etched on Sam's face. He leaned in, his tone brimming with sincere care, and gently reminded you, “You know, if you ever need a hand, just remember that Castiel is just a phone call away.”

This morning's awakening had thrown you a curveball. At first, you brushed off the strange sensations coursing through your body, thinking they were caused by the aging mattress beneath you. Yet, with each passing moment, that peculiar feeling escalated into something far more troubling. It clung to you like an insistent itch, impossible to ignore, casting an unsettling shadow over your day.

Now, wrapped snugly in the comforting cocoon of your soft, pink blanket, you found yourself ensnared in the relentless grip of a fever. Your body radiated heat, and every movement became a battle against the oppressive weight of illness. The sole lifeline keeping you tethered to the realm of the living was the medication within easy reach.

Summoning a faint smile, you struggled to reassure Sam, who always kept a watchful eye, despite the fatigue evident in your voice. “I'll handle it,” you whispered, your words carrying a hint of exhaustion.

Trying to make the serious mood a bit lighter, you couldn't resist adding a touch of playful sarcasm. “Well, maybe you should head out before your God buddy decides it's time to disappear once again.”

After saying goodbye to the Winchesters, you headed back to your bed. You didn't want to bother Castiel with your problems; you knew he had more important things to worry about than a grown-up hunter catching a simple cold.

As you entered your room, you couldn't help but grumble to yourself. Why did it seem like Sam and Dean never got sick? You were used to risking your life to hunt supernatural creatures, and now, on top of that, you had to deal with a fever. It just didn't seem fair. You plopped down on the edge of your bed, feeling frustrated. This illness was not only physically uncomfortable but also a reminder that even tough hunters like you had to face everyday human struggles.

Ridiculous, you thought.

You took a quick look on the mirror standing in the corner, then let out a sigh of annoyance and laid down on your bed, giving in to a sense of resignation. You didn't even notice when you drifted off to sleep.

Hours later, you slowly opened your eyes, hoping to find some relief from the persistent illness that had plagued you. However, as your vision cleared, you realized that you felt even worse than before. It was as if the fever had intensified during your restless slumber, wrapping you in a suffocating embrace.

With a groan of discomfort, you pushed yourself upright, your head pounding with every movement. The room seemed dimmer, and the last rays of daylight coming from the corridor appeared harsh and unforgiving. Your throat was parched, and your limbs felt heavy as if they were made of lead.

Casting a rueful glance at the clock, you realized that time had slipped away during your troubled nap. It was as though the fever had stolen not only your strength but also precious hours from your day.

You came close to grabbing your phone and calling Castiel, but you resisted, refusing to give in to a moment of vulnerability – or so you tried to convince yourself.

Struggling considerably, you managed to shift your legs off the bed and, with an effort that would make an elderly man with mobility issues proud, you stood up. Your own sigh of discomfort mirrored the sound one might expect from someone in such a situation. You briefly caught a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror, mentally noting how pitiful you appeared, before making your way into the hallway, your feet dragging wearily behind you.

The bunker had settled into an eerie quietness, broken only by the weighty sound of your footsteps. As you made your way into the main room, your initial plan to head to the opposite corridor was interrupted by an abrupt rustling in a dimly lit corner of the space.

Your tired eyes strained to identify the source of this disturbance. Could it be a mere product of your fevered imagination? You wouldn't be surprised if your illness had started playing tricks on your mind. After all, nobody else was supposed to be allowed in the vast bunker.

And then, right there, bathed in the soft, muted glow of the bunker's emergency lighting, stood a figure you never anticipated encountering. Your heart skipped a beat, your breath caught in your throat, and your fever-addled brain could only muster one thought; Jack. Why was he here? What was happening? Wasn't he...?

“Jack?” you questioned hesitantly, your gaze darting around the room in search of some evidence that you were still ensnared in a dream.

The figure before you smirked. It wasn't the gentle, innocent smile of Jack. It was something darker, more twisted. Your fevered mind raced to find an explanation. Maybe it was the fever. Yes, that had to be it. You were conjuring this surreal scene in your delirium.

“Hello,” greeted the boy, lifting his right hand in a welcoming gesture, mirroring the way Jack used to.

Confusion knitted your brows as you unconsciously took a cautious step toward this familiar-looking stranger, clutching your blanket tightly around you. Your scrutiny intensified as you examined him closely. The person before you was dressed in the same attire as the last time you saw Jack, but it couldn't possibly be him. Jack Kline had met his demise, so why was he standing before you now?

Your gaze wandered to the sunglasses perched on the boy's face, and you couldn't help but shake your head with a hint of amusement. You swiftly turned away, fully convinced that your need for medication was far more pressing than entertaining these unsettling hallucinations. As you made your determined exit, you could almost hear a faint chuckle from behind you.

“Leaving so soon? And here I was, hoping for some company,” the boy, or rather, the entity inhabiting the boy's body, remarked with a sly grin, his voice dripping with faux disappointment. His sunglasses hid the fiery void that should have been his eyes, concealing his true nature as he attempted to blend in.

You paused, feeling an inexplicable mix of curiosity and unease. There was something off about this whole situation, and it wasn't just the fact that you were conversing with someone who looked like Jack but couldn't possibly be him. The aura this stranger exuded was friendly yet laced with an unsettling undercurrent of something more sinister.

“Why are you here?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly despite your best efforts to maintain composure.

The boy's smile widened, revealing a veneer of friendliness that barely concealed his sadistic amusement. “Oh, I was getting dreadfully bored down in Hell. Thought I'd stretch my legs, so to speak.”

His casual tone and the way he spoke about Hell as if it were a mundane inconvenience sent a shiver down your spine. This was no ordinary encounter, and you couldn't help but wonder if your fever had conjured up this bizarre scenario.

“I'm Belphegor,” the demon chimed in, noting your dubious expression. “Just a temporary tenant, you know? This body was basically vacant real estate, so I thought, 'Why not?' I mean, squatters' rights and all,” he quipped, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders as if discussing his choice of a new apartment. His grin remained as inscrutable as ever, a blend of friendly and utterly unsettling.

You couldn't help but raise an incredulous eyebrow at the demon's cavalier attitude. This was a new low, even for the world you lived in.

“Squatters' rights, huh?” you muttered, not sure whether to be amused or deeply disturbed by his casual demeanor. “Well, congratulations on your, uh, new accommodations.”

Belphegor chuckled, the sound a disconcerting blend of mirth and something far more alarming. “Thanks, I think it suits me. But, you know, I'm not all that bad once you get to know me,” he added with a wicked grin, as if trying to convince you that sharing a body with a demon was just a quirky and harmless coincidence.

Your instincts told you otherwise, and you couldn't help but wonder how deeply the Winchesters were embroiled in whatever bizarre deal this demon had cooked up.

“So, um,” you began, feeling a little like you were fumbling through a conversation with a distant relative you'd rather not acknowledge at a family reunion. The situation was beyond awkward, standing there face-to-face with a demon who had chosen to squat in a body you knew all too well. “Care for a drink?”

If you could, you would have rolled your eyes right then and there, but you had to maintain some semblance of composure. You knew you should be taking action, maybe calling the brothers or attempting to exorcise Belphegor, but your phone was conveniently left behind in your room, and it seemed that the universe had a thing against including demon-killing pockets in your pajamas.

Belphegor's lips curved into a wicked smile, his amusement clear despite the sunglasses concealing his eyes. “Well, aren't you the hospitable one,” he quipped, as if being invited for a drink by the friend of his borrowed body was a regular occurrence.

You couldn't help but chuckle nervously, the absurdity of the situation sinking in. “I figure if I can't beat the demon, I might as well join it for a drink,” you replied with a wry grin, attempting to keep things light, even though your mind was racing with thoughts of what to do next.

As you both made your way to the kitchen, you couldn't shake the feeling that you were walking on thin ice, navigating a situation that seemed to defy all logic. Sharing a drink with a demon in your pajamas was definitely not how you had planned to spend your day, but sometimes, but sometimes you had to improvise.

Entering the kitchen, you were determined to play it cool, all the while keeping a close eye on the boy. You grabbed a bottle of Dean's favorite liquor from the cabinet, figuring that if this was going to be a bizarre demon rendezvous, you might as well make it a memorable one.

“Here's to unexpected company,” you said with a somewhat forced cheerfulness as you poured two glasses, trying your best to hide the anxiety gnawing at your nerves.

Belphegor accepted the drink with a bemused nod, raising his glass in a mock toast. “To unlikely alliances,” he replied, his tone dripping with amusement.

While he was distracted with his drink, you seized the opportunity to grab a glass of water and discreetly pop a couple of fever-killing pills. You hoped that once the medication kicked in, the demon might just decide to take his leave, making this weird encounter nothing more than a fever-induced hallucination.

Sipping your water and pretending to engage in the odd conversation, you silently counted the minutes until the medication would hopefully bring some relief.

As the time passed, you couldn't shake the feeling that this encounter was all too real. The fever medication had begun to work its magic, and you felt a wave of dizziness wash over you, courtesy of the combination of drugs and alcohol. Your head was spinning like a top, and you realized that your attempt to blend in and have a normal conversation with a demon was spiraling into absurdity.

“So,” you slurred slightly, trying to focus your blurry gaze on Belphegor, “what's it like down there in Hell? I mean, besides the whole eternal torment thing. Do you guys have, like, a book club or a knitting circle to pass the time?”

Belphegor raised an eyebrow, his amusement evident even through those opaque sunglasses. “Well, it's not all fire and brimstone, you know,” he replied with a mock-serious tone, playing along with your bizarre line of questioning. “We do have our demon potlucks, and occasionally, a game night with some fiendishly fun board games.”

You couldn't help but giggle at the mental image of demons huddled around a Monopoly board in Hell. The combination of fever-induced delirium and the surrealness of the situation had turned the conversation into a comical farce.

“What's your favorite board game, then?” you asked, leaning in closer as if discussing board games with a demon was the most normal thing in the world.

Belphegor chuckled, his sinister amusement undiminished. “Twister,” he replied with a sly grin, and you couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

Lost in the absurdity of your conversation with the demon, you paid little attention to the strange sounds echoing through the bunker. It was as if the very walls were whispering secrets, and you chalked it up to your fevered imagination playing tricks on you.

Belphegor was in the middle of describing a particularly demon version of a summer vacation when a sudden, unexpected voice pierced through the haze of your conversation.

“Y/N” Castiel's deep voice resonated through the kitchen, his sudden appearance causing you to jump so violently that you almost knocked over your glass.

You turned to see Castiel standing in the entrance to the kitchen, his blue eyes penetrating the sunglasses-clad Belphegor with a steely gaze. The demon's expression shifted from amusement to surprise as he realized the presence of an angel.

“Castiel!” you exclaimed, your heart racing as you struggled to regain your composure. “I, uh, didn't expect to see you here.”

Belphegor's amusement seemed to wane as he met Castiel's unwavering gaze. The room fell silent, and the atmosphere shifted from surreal absurdity to a tense standoff between angel and demon.

“What does this supposed to mean?” Castiel asked, his voice steady as he approached the countertop where you were seated, sliding a blade out of his sleeve.

You quickly rose from your seat, wanting to calm the situation. The absurdity of the situation, in which you, in a pink blanket, wanted to defend a demon who could kill you with a snap of your fingers, did not reach you.

“That's Belphegor,” you stammered, your voice wavering as confusion and uncertainty welled up. You realized you had no real justification for the demon's visit. “I-I have no idea why he's here, but he's... uh, he's cool.” Trying to defend the demon only earned you doubtful glances from both Castiel and Belphegor, making this already weird situation even more confusing.

“I've got an offer that might catch the Winchesters' attention,” the demon said as he stepped forward from behind you.

Castiel's expression darkened as he confronted the demon, anger simmering just beneath the surface. “Taking Jack's body... this is desecration,” he hissed, his voice carrying the weight of his disapproval. The angel's gaze bore into Belphegor, as if willing him to understand the gravity of his actions.

You stepped in between the two, desperately trying to ease the mounting tension. “Look, I know this is... complicated,” you began, your voice trembling slightly with the weight of the situation. “But maybe Belphegor has something important. We should hear him out before we jump to conclusions.”

Belphegor, for his part, maintained his sly grin, unfazed by Castiel's anger. “I'm just a demon trying to make the best of my situation,” he chimed in, his tone almost cheerful. “Besides, the vessel was just sitting there, collecting dust. I thought it could use some fresh air, you know.”

Castiel clenched his jaw, clearly struggling to contain his frustration. “It's not about the vessel, it's about respect and dignity.”

Before Castiel could retort further, the kitchen door swung open, and Sam and Dean walked in. Their faces registered a mix of surprise and confusion as they took in the scene before them. The room was filled with a charged silence, broken only by the creak of the door.

“What's going on in here?” Dean finally asked, breaking the awkward standoff. His gaze shifted from you to Castiel and then to Belphegor, who was still wearing that boyish grin beneath those stupid sunglasses.

[yuripira4e]

i already posted this in some tags but I want to be more insane acryally. This is kind of just my opinion on Edwin and The Cat Kings relationship n why I don’t think fans should try and push their relationship.

Their relationship is starts off and is mostly the cat kings own narcissism and predatory (not age wise; I mean literally) behavior towards Edwin and Edwin's need for someone to push him into understanding that his queerness doesn't have to be torture and can be something giddy (even if he doesn't return those feelings). This is super important to Edwin but his rejection of TCK is also as he immediately recognizes his lack of feelings and actual literal discomfort at the moves placed on him. TCK is good about boundaries and consent sexually wise but that doesn’t stop their relationship from progressing from there.

At first, the cat king does like Edwin but he doesn’t know anything about him. He sees their relationship as a game and Edwin simply as someone he wants to have simply because he can’t. He continues to torment Edwin (showing up as people he does like, propositioning him still, being threatening when his control is questioned) through out the show but starts to feel that “romanticism” towards him because hes infatuated by the kindness he's shown despite the cruelty he's presented to Edwin. Queerness and performance always go hand in hand and Edwin’s lack of it entices the Cat King.

The show runners and Lukas, the actor, have said themselves that the cat king is an older secretly insecure character. He’s jaded by heartbreak the the world’s condemnation of everything he is. Edwin is this younger, genuinely kind character that shows him that projecting his hurt on others and romanticizing it only hurts both people in that relationship. Their relationship is about the isolation of queerness and the walls put up to protect yourself and the coping mechanism used to not be hurt again; even at the risk of hurting those just like you- or those who used to be (cough cough the show runners saying that TCK represented the older men with bad intentions that every young gay man has met that welcomes them into the space and makes them feel loved to use them). The Cat King uses Edwin and Edwin knows this. That kiss from edwin was not a reciprocation of feelings; it was to say "I'm sorry your loneliness had caused you to think you have to use your power to control those weaker than you. (Naive, young, and someone he can literally trap) It's the easiest way to feel. And while I cannot and will not give you what you want or need, you deserve to feel happy and not like you have to gain attention of those uninterested to feel good enough.”

I just can't even explain all my thoughts about their dynamic it's just so much about the predation from older queers because of the trauma they've endured from their elders and the cycle of hurt and abuse that is passed down and the way we can break the cycle with kindness. The way we can protect our youths by healing those traumas.

Something the cat king learns and accepts because he can like Edwin. He can show Edwin the sweetness and beauty of being queer while also not being the one that should hold his hand through it. Edwin cannot be a romanticized replacement for the pain others have caused him and trying to force him to be so, continuing to treat him like prey to catch, will only continue the cycle.

tdlr: their relationship is super important for both of their relationships with queerness and trauma and becoming more aware of their identities but their relationship is not romantic- it’s simply an attempt to romanticize Edwin into someone he could love (hurt and control) in place of the people who’s actually hurt him and is supposed to be a parallel of real life predation in the queer community but the realization of this created an amazing acceptance and new bond I do hope they explore without TCK trying to force a non-platonic relationship

Off topic but I don't like people defending their age gap because, yes, Edwin is 86, but he died with a teenage boy brain and then spent 70 of those years in hell where he certainly was not getting his brain developed while TCK has possibly hundreds of years of sentience and experience. The power imbalance is not it y'all and that’s like super clear in the show

[toasttt11]

smiley

April 16, 2024

Lucia turned over in bed and leaned closer to her warm pillow, she blinked sleepily realizing her pillow was not a pillow but her now boyfriend.

Lucia has never cuddled with someone who wasn’t her family and it was oddly comforting or maybe that was the comfort that John gave her.

“Good morning love.” John mumbled with his morning voice, he gently played with her blonde hair that was extremely messy from sleeping.

John had woken up a little bit before her and just spent to time admiring his new girlfriend and enjoying being able to see another side of her.

Lucia blushed bright red hearing him call her love and buried her head deeper against his side, she mumbled a morning back but didn’t lift her head up.

John smiled softly twirling her hair around his fingers.

“Was that to much last night?” John softly spoke, he didn’t want to go too fast or do something that would make her uncomfortable and he knew communication was important for them both in their relationship.

Lucia looked up resting her chin on his chest looking at his earnest eyes and shook her head fondly, “No it was perfect.” Lucia swallowed slightly at the vulnerability that she was showing but she pushed down the discomfort and reminded herself that she trusts John and John is not Mackie.

Truthfully last night was perfect for Lucia and she enjoyed falling asleep in John’s arm and staying in his warm embrace all night, something she had never done with a boy before and actually enjoyed it.

“Ok. You tell me if it isn’t okay.” John looked relieved as Lucia nodded in agreement and he gently leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Do you want me to go pick up breakfast at our place?” John questioned after a little while of comfortables silence.

John and Lucia found a little cafe that was right between their two apartments and have spent many early mornings or late nights eating there together.

“I could go with?” Lucia offered not wanting to make John go get breakfast alone even though she wanted nothing more than to stay in her warm bed.

“Tsk tsk my love, that’s not what i asked.” John playfully pinched her side making her chuckle and squirm away, “Do you want me to go pick up food?” John questioned again.

“Please.” Lucia reluctantly replied making John smile satisfied.

He pressed one more gentle kiss on her forehead before gently shifting out of bed, he grabbed his phone and wallet and slipped it into his pocket and threw his hoodie back on.

“I’ll be back soon.” John promised leaning down pecking her lips and sending her one more smile before walking out of her room running a hand through his messy curls.

Lucia flopped back on her bed letting out a content sigh and tracing her lips softly, everything she feels for John was nothing she ever felt before.

Her phone started buzzing and she shifted over grabbing her phone seeing her brothers face timing her, she clicked accept and saw both Quinn and Jack already on the call.

“Mooooeesyyyyyy!” Jack loudly cheered the second his baby sister joined the sibling facetime, he was sitting out on a lawn chair on their dock in Michigan.

Quinn was sitting on his couch in Vancouver and smiled softly at his sister, who looked like she just woke up which wouldn’t surprise Quinn if she did.

“Rowdy.” Lucia greeted with a surprisingly happy smile making her brother immediately share a suspicious look since Lucia is never happy nor smiley in the morning.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jack narrowed his eyes suspiciously at his sister.

“What?” Lucia questioned genuinely confused and yawned as she sat up leaning against the headboard.

“That’s why.” Quinn smirked noticing immediately.

“What?” Jack now looked just as confused.

“Nice shirt you are wearing Moosey.” Quinn smugly smirked, he noticed once she sat up leaning on her headboard she was wearing a devils shirt that didn’t have her number but John’s.

Lucia blinked realizing she was wearing John’s shirt that he had on under his hoodie yesterday when he came over and she blushed just slighty but enough to see light pink dusted across her cheeks.

Jack gasped as he saw the number six and immediately knew whose shirt that was, “Johnny’s over!!?!?!!” Jack looked half excited and half protective over the idea that John was at their apartment.

Jack had noticed eventually after some help from Nico the looks and small touches between John and Lucia and figured out that John definitely had feelings for her and Jack knew Lucia felt something for him.

So of course Jack immediately told Quinn and they both have been hoping that Lucia and John would get together, they didn’t ask about John to Lucia knowing if they push her she will close off completely.

Jack was iffy about the idea of John being with his sister but once he saw how John respects Lucia, Jack couldn’t be iffy any longer because all he wants his sister to be treated and respected the way she deserves.

Quinn knows John less than Jack but from the few times he has spent with John he knew that John was a perfect guy for his sister.

“He came over last night after the game.” Lucia simply explained trying not to blush anymore and cursing John for always making her blush so easily.

“Did he?” Quinn raised an eyebrow and noticed a small blush on his little sister face and pressed his lips together to hide his delighted smile, “Why did he come over?”

Lucia fondly rolled her eye, “He wanted to ask me to be his partner.” Lucia avoided looking at the phone screen.

“And you said yes right!” Jack urged looking happy for her.

“Yeah.” Lucia nodded smiling slightly remembering how John asked her.

“Good.” Quinn smiled satisfied glad his sister is letting herself find love.

“You approve?” Lucia looked a bit confused that they both looked happy and surprised they weren’t being more protective.

“He makes you happy Moose. He’s a good guy.” Jack smiled reassuring her, if he had to see his sister date anyone he’s glad it’s going to be John.

“So yes we most definitely approve of him.” Quinn smiled softly at his sister.

“Cool.” Lucia nodded looking slighty relieved.

“I’ve got to get going but i love you both.” Quinn smiled sadly as he said his goodbyes to his little siblings.

“Bye love you guys.” Jack smiled sadly as well waving at the camera.

Lucia waved not saying anything and exited the call and tossed her phone back onto her nightstand and curled back under her blankets on the side John layed all night and waited for John to come back.

[heretherebedork]

Alright, let's talk internalized homophobia.

Kawi is the poster child for internalized homophobia and how it can cause you to both avoid your own feelings and to attach yourself more strongly to any ideas that can keep you away from what you might actually desire in an effort to keep yourself safe.

This is a immature man who has never gotten past the kneejerk reaction he has to people assuming he's attracting to men. These are two strangers who think he's dating Max... who he's had a serious falling out with and who is, currently, barely willing to speak to him at all and obviously not in contact with him in the future at all.

Kawi is constantly thinking about how people see, how people view him, what will make people like him and what will lead to him being liked by people. And being gay? That won't do. Neither will being poor but he can't really do anything about that, not directly.

Kawi truly doesn't believe that who he is is something people can like. And it goes past being a messy eater, being a bit of a glutton and into just the very concept of who he is. Of him being poor, of having to work through university, of being awkward, of being bi/gay. None of that is acceptable because none of Kawi is acceptable except for the parts he molds to what he believes people expect from him.

This truly comes back to self-acceptance again and again. Kawi is so certain that if just changes himself enough other people will like him and so he rejects every aspect of himself that doesn't fit into that image. He doesn't eat with Pear, he doesn't talk to Max, he couldn't give or explain a broken gift, he can't admit he doesn't have money because none of those are part of how he thinks he has to be, who he thinks he should be but isn't.

It doesn't help, at all, that Piseang is drunk and upset when he grabs him in the future, a decade or more of pining behind him and facing marrying a woman he doesn't love coming out in a way that only pushes Kawi farther away from anything he might desire. (Not that he does at this point, I will absolutely argue that Kawi does not want anything from Piseang at this point in the narrative and will have to learn about his own feelings over the course of the story. Right now he genuinely and wholeheartedly loves Pear.)

That is disgust and discomfort and it is focused on the kiss.

I do think that a lot of Kawi's issues with internalized homophobia stem from whatever happened with Max but also from his own visceral discomfort with himself. Kawi is filled to the brim with self-hatred and the only real break he's ever had from it has been with Pear. Pear, who took care of him with him having to ask. Pear, who smiles at him. Pear, who represents someone from a 'better' kind of society accepting him. Pear represents who Kawi thinks he is supposed love but also who he thinks he's supposed to be. He is supposed to be a straight, rich man who isn't awkward, who takes care of someone else easily, who can be there for her and marry her, who can make his father proud by being exactly who society says he is supposed to be.

But he also experiences disgust at the thought of Piseang kissing him because he is still caught on the idea that he should marry Pear (he, in this case, meaning frankly either one of them) and that it isn't right not to want to marry Pear. I am unwilling to wipe his disgust under the rug because this moment is important. This is not Kawi's reluctance alone. This is someone who has accepted society's idea that being kissed by the same gender is inherently worse than being kissed by someone of the opposite gender. Which feeds, again, into how Kawi is focused on how society views him and believes everything society says about gay people, poor people, shy people, awkward people, sober people, lonely people, so on and so forth.

Kawi is being faced with a choice right now but it isn't what he thinks it is.

He is facing a choice between himself and the world. Between who he truly is and who he wants to be to fit into society.

And to even begin to face that choice, he is going to have to face his own homophobia and his own views of the world. He is going to have to face Max and Knot and Piseang and Pear. He is going to have to look at everything he has experienced and lived and realized that he has been trying to change a fundamental part of himself, many fundamental parts of himself, for his entire life.

Kawi needs to look past what society says about people, about him, and find out for himself what he thinks.

(I am absolutely terrified of how the show might handle this. There are so many layers and so many complications inherently built into the narrative we're seeing and this is based on Jittirain who does not handle nuance well. At all. And who definitely does not handle low self-esteem well. And characters in Jittirain stories tend to bow to whatever she wants the plot to be so... fear. Intrigue... but fear.)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Good afternoon Sex Witch!

I was hoping you could help me figure out how to change how I think about sex and unlearn some prudishness/ disentangle it from more genuine concerns and red flags.

Yadda yadda conservative small town childhood, classic backstory. I definitely got a sense of… I guess, safety and rightness by being very “these things are always bad”; not just sex things but sex was, of course, still one of the big things. Of course, then came puberty, and getting out of my comfort zone, and realizing how toxic purity culture was. Growing up meant, in part, my learning to do better by re-examining things I’d taken for granted.

That’s why I’m asking: there’s a lot of… lingering discomfort with a few things. I realized I still feel pretty… uncomfortable around people who have a lot of sex with multiple partners, along with the topics of polyamory and open relationships. I’m monogamous and I’m not ashamed of that, and of course I keep my opinions to myself when around friends who are happy in non-monogamous relationships. Cuz like, this is ABSOLUTELY a me-problem. I would just like to not feel like this and be unambiguously happy for people I otherwise love living their best lives.

(I’m also single and shy; I strongly suspect that envy over people who can attract multiple partners when I can’t seem to even attract one is a polluting variable.)

Regardless, do you have any links to point me to or thoughts to help me dismantle this ugly bigotry protoplasm? Cuz I know I’m wrong; I’d just like to get the bit of my brain to stop sending these stupid alarm signals.

hi anon,

okay, so, first I just want to say congrats to you on the obvious massive amounts of work that you've done to identify the biases you were raised with and work to uproot them. I know you're here because you feel you still have work to do, and I respect that completely, but I think it's also important to recognize that you've clearly come very far from what you were raised with. being able to recognize when something is a you-problem is HUGE.

I also want to say, as gently and with as much love as possible, that it may not ever be possible to totally 100% possible eradicate thoughts that we don't like. in a way, the idea that we can and should be able to control our impulsive reactions to things is still very conservative, right? it's the idea of "thought crime," except now instead of being upset at yourself for having a sexual thought it's being upset for having a thought that's not sexually open enough.

while I understand wanting to eradicate that unpleasant little "yuck" response out of your brain forever, I also believe very firmly that your thoughts alone don't define you or your values. okay, so your knee-jerk reaction to someone you love announcing that they're in an open relationship is discomfort. but what are your actions? what are you saying and doing? are you lecturing them about their immoral lifestyle, or are you pushing that discomfort aside and doing your best to be supportive of someone else's happiness even if you don't personally get it?

your actions and how you're treating the people you care about matter a lot more than the thoughts that you can't help.

having said that, it's still nice to have some framework for how to work through those feelings of discomfort to at least see if it's possible to diminish them and change that line of thinking. luckily, sex educator Nadine Thornhill just wrote about this in her latest newsletter, which I definitely recommend checking out - Dr. Thornhill is gem.

so, with full credit and hoping that she would forgive me for borrowing, here's an excerpt from Dr. Thornhill's newsletter:

Like all humans, I have a judgey little mind that is constantly observing, assessing, assuming, inferring, and drawing conclusions based on random stimuli. That’s always happening, even when I’m in sex-educator mode. But what I can do (and you can, too, if you want) is practice being mindful of my judgements, especially negative judgements. The most critical part of the practice has been getting curious about my body signals. When someone makes a sexual decision I don’t like, a question I try to ask myself is: What does that feel like in my body? Sometimes, I’ve struggled to maintain that level of in-the-moment mindfulness when working with real people and consequences.Movies and TV have helped me explore some of that stuff. It’s a safe place to judge fictional folks and their fictional sexual choices freely. Meanwhile, being able to pause, rewind or replay a provocative scene lets me take the time to take stock of my physical reactions. With time and practice, it’s become easier to recognize the specific muscle tension and rapid breathing that signals disapproval. Why is this important? We may not be able to stop ourselves from forming judgements about other people’s sexual choices. But if we understand and acknowledge them as judgements rather than facts, we can work to avoid imposing our will on other people. One way we might do so is by asking ourselves the following questions: Does this person’s decision affect my body, relationships, or autonomy? What would have to be true for me to want to make this same choice? What might make this a positive choice for this person right now? How might my own experiences or situations be affecting my opinion? How can I express kindness and compassion while still respecting their right to make their own choice?

much appreciation to Dr. Thornhill for putting this so succinctly; I'd definitely recommend checking out her work for anon and anyone else!

[causesciencethatswhy]

The way jimin presents is much more obviously queer than any other member (purely based on mannerisms, cause if you hear joon or yoongi talking about love for a few minutes you can put two and two together). And his overt queerness makes a lot of cis hetero shippers (or kpop fans ) uncomfortable because they're forced to confront their internalized homophobia and misogyny head on. So they find a way to diminish his importance to the other members or villanise to cartoonish levels to deal with that discomfort.

(I'm the anon you responded to with this^^)

Add onto that how a lot of ARMYs seem to assume that just being a BTS fan makes you an ally/intelligent/a good person, and it's the perfect scenario for some cognitive dissonance. Only that JM haters and Tkkers don't seem to have enough cognitive for it to be anything. Even (maybe especially, even) shipping two men doesn't automatically make you supportive of the queer community and understanding of the struggles just existing as a queer person brings about.

They always clamour "but two gay men wouldn't do xyz in a homophobic country", failing to recognise that queer people have existed through so much worse and still have done things wildly more gay than anything Jikook have done.

There's also a lot of them who only see JM's gender expression and "queer subtext" (meaning fashion choices, and the whole concept of his photofolio + album) while disregarding JK's. Like, that man pulled out the most feminine look and attitude in his "bobs+bangs" Calvin Klein shoot. And he fucking owned it. But instead, at least in my perception, the fandom is split on him: one half genuinely sees and appreciates JKs expression of himself, while the other mostly memes it to death and ridding it of meaning. Any perception of JK as a potentially non-hetero man is forgotten the moment he presents as classically masculine again, aka stereotyping the whole queer community to death.

The latter doesn't happen with JM, because - like you said - he fits the common perception of a gay man. Which is all fun and games for the many "The JM effect" compilations, but for cis shippers it starts sliding into homophobia the moment they need to stop perceiving the members as Ken Dolls and instead treat them as actual human beings with all their complexities, faults and incongruent behaviour.

Which brings me onto Hobi. Now, I don't think he gets it quite as bad as JM.

One reason being that there's simply not as many Yoonminers who aren't mainly tkkers. The latter often uses the former to not be seen as a JM anti, but aside from compilations getting spread to push the "married couple" agenda, they don't focus their attention on it. (Also can the "arguing a lot = being in love/married" thing plz die? As someone whose grandparents argue every 20 minutes (real numbers) it's the actual worst and not really a reflection of romance...)

Another one is that Yoonminers do not care about original content at all. From what I've seen during my baby army days, they pick and choose everything down to the tiniest detail. So they mostly ignore that Hobi even exists as a possible variable.

Which brings me to my next point, which kinda breaks my heart: I don't think a lot of shippers in general, and the tkk/ym crowd in particular, see Hoseok as someone to focus their attention on. He gets forgotten a LOT, relegated to the fun sidekick comic relief while the ships are the mc's. (Which is why, imho, it's always his releases a lot of the fandom doesn't care about/actively ignores). The actual deep founded love every single member of BTS has for him - to the point they should actually propose - is insane. How can you think Ym is more real than Sope or Jihope? How can people be that willfully obtuse?

As someone who thinks Jikook could be real (2019, I am looking at you), I had my doubts seeing Jihope interact a few times. But what gets me is how fucking whipped Hobi gets every time he watches Jikook be all adorable. He looks at them like the proud BFF who got them together. A lot of that is his general love for the maknae line and his personality, but that level? The instances of it happening?

...

.......

This was a lot. Okay.

Tl;dr: BTS are human beings, also Hoseok is the best person on the planet probably. Be gay, do crime🏳️‍🌈

Even (maybe especially, even) shipping two men doesn't automatically make you supportive of the queer community and understanding of the struggles just existing as a queer person brings about.

This!! Is so key to everything wrong with a large group of shippers and even solo fans. This idea that because you ship on m/m ship over the other, you are no way capable of making homophobic assumptions and statements. To a lot of shippers shipping a potentially queer couple is just another way to fulfill some forbidden romance fantasy of theirs and not actual concern for the lived reality of queer couples in conservative countries.

Which is why the painful torture of two boyfriends being torn apart from each other like star crossed lovers sounds more palatable and realistic to tkkrs than a queer couple deciding to stick by each other's side through thick and thin, despite the risks. It's less spicy I guess, but who cares of queer joy when the dramatics of the other possibility is so much more enticing.

Everytime I see tkkrs make the whole, "being gay in the military is forbidden so a gay couple would never risk going together" argument, a part of my soul dies. I don’t know what's more offensive, the idea that a closeted couple will just forget how to behave around each other after potentially years of being together because Gays and their crazy sex drives, am I right?

Or the alternative explanation that queer people in conservative countries just never make risky descions for the sake of their partners because the law forbids them from even existing.

Both explanations are tone deaf and ignorant of the lived reality of queer people. Its a direct result of straight people dominating shipper spaces. I do sometimes wonder what queer tkkr shippers make of these theories (cause I'm sure they exist as well). Are they perhaps more sane or do they subscribe to this bs as well ?

And oh my gosh yes about jungkook. That boy has very vocally played about with his gender expression and has been the one ignored the most by seriously cis heterosexual fans. This daddy Dom fantasy they project onto him is a bit much though I do think he does enjoy a more masculine cool image for himself as well. Which to the straight mind is confirmation for all their wattpad inspired fantasies of him. It's unfortunate but alas, stereotypes stick , especially those made by people with a very set view of the world.

As for hobi and the ynmner /sope dilemma, I totally get it. Ynmn shippers do tend to get on my nerves from time to time as well and it no doubt does have something to do with the correlation of them to the tkkr subgroup. I have grown fond of the ynmn dynamic since my baby army days I must admit though, because you can clearly see how much yoongi genuinely appreciates jimins presence and how jimin relies on yoongi for emotional comfort. It is sweet, but yeah I don't necessarily see anything else going on there.

Same goes for sope honestly. Nothing has ever made me seriously question them, except the sunshine bf with grumpy bf dynamic they do fit into very perfectly. They also clearly rely on each other for emotional support (Bring Hobi, hes my vitamin 🥺) but yeah Nothing as eye raising ig ? But yes, i can completely see why it's so frustrating to see how Hobi is dismissed within other shipping dynamics similar to the treatment j/m has gotten. Hobi does tend to get overlooked a lot in these bts dynamic discussions when he very much does embody the heart of the group and the members love for him is so heartfelt and grand, we really seriously underestimate his significance to keeping the bts spirit in line all these years.

I love my ball of sunshine who holds and even bottles up a lot emotionally for the sake of his fans and the team. And he always deserves more appreciation by everyone in the fandom (myself included)

Ps. Jihope in that one 2020 music bank live was definitely a 👀 moment lol.

[official-saul-goodman]

another banger post i’m afraid, not recognizing horror as sociopolitical in nature is a brain dead take i wish people would abandon.

i’m horrible at summarizing thoughts but i will TRY keeping things short- (after writing edit: did not keep things short)

horror to anyone should not simply be glorified gore or even something that makes you just a bit squeamish, something about horror for the sake of being ‘scared’ and not ‘horrified’ always rubs me the wrong way. some people who see the genre for the value it brings already fight against the praise of any cheap jumpscare, but that always feels like the main argument, that it should be ‘genuinely scary’ but not make them too uncomfortable, so it feels like people seem to just entirely and constantly miss the point of what horror is as an entire genre and mode of storytelling.

like i think horror isn’t supposed to just scare you, it is supposed to horrify you, just like you said!! most of the time when it comes to These White People who absolutely hate anything that isn’t digestible theres simply no ability- or even want- to sit with and untangle the discomfort. i always view horror as something cannot and never will escape the reality behind it, why it was made and what it’s doing and the feelings it evokes, so neither can the viewer, and mostly white people just have the choice of dismissing it and putting it out of mind.

also i just have an opinion that if someone cannot deal with the idea and discomfort of Real Things being depicted to them through layers of separation via fiction and narrative, it near 100% reflects just how disconnected from the real world issue being tackled they are, usually willingly so.

in the realm of media there’s this push from mostly white people that resists any depiction of racism as objectively bad and horrifying, or even any depictions of racism at all (historical/present/future even). it feels like everyone just wants oppression/anti-blackness/colorism/etc as very concepts to drift into silence somehow and disappear and not be an issue to think about. like somehow if we don’t depict racism ever at all in media then it’ll just… stop existing?? always feels like an undeniable mix of willful ignorance and no desire to learn literally anything other than what gets handed to them.

BIGGEST and final thoughts. a black and gay man becoming the face of IWTV trampled on what Louis’ character used to be- in the source materials he’s a plantation owner before a vampire. i genuinely don’t think i need to lay out how this is deeply intentional, or how even on a surface level this change is important to the adaptation, but i will sign off on the note that it’s a change that speaks to how the show is deliberately trying to speak about things in the present day, not just do a horror show about vampires, but a horror show that reflects more reality than Anne Rice’s book or the movie version following Louis and Lestat never had, what with the literal plantation owner protagonist doing the “woe is me and my white guilt” routine. dissolving into incoherent hatred for Anne Rice. ppl need to internalize why the story originated how it did, and why it had to be changed, how it’s stronger for those changes. overall, just how much more genuinely horrifying it is. i could keep going on about this forever actually, simply have to cut myself off here or i will send a full blown essay

I love that you started this ask off with 'another banger of a post I'm afraid' like I legit love that.

Also, all of this is true. Horror is meant to horrify not just scare, people need to understand that and learn to watch things that make them feel uncomfortable - especially when what's making them uncomfortable is the confrontation with the politics of racism. Like there's a reason why Louis was written as a black man in the show.

Fuck whatever the fuck Anne Rice wants we don't care about her or the preservation of her ideals cause she's just another insignificant racist white woman piece of shit.

Love you Peej!! Thanks for sending me essays always :)

[quotemenevervore]

Hehehe I finished that rewritten section really fast

Content warnings: soft, safe g/t vore, parties are unaware it’s safe, character thinking he’d killed the other, character having bad thoughts about themselves, character attempting to throw up, mention of the prison but not what happened in it

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dream perked up at the mention of the potions, and busied himself by going and collecting a good amount of them while George moved to the living room to try and relax until he couldn’t push it off any longer.

Sure enough, the other returned quickly with a piece of string, a totem of undying, and several potions. A good amount of them were splash potions of healing and regen, and then two regular potions, one of night vision and the other of shrinking. Setting the bottles carefully on the table, he handed the totem over to the brunette before sitting down on the sofa beside him. He pulled out his communicator, sending off a quick message before shutting it off and pulling a book out. “Who did you just message?” “Told Sapnap we couldn’t hang out today. He hadn’t made plans to, but you know how he is.” Not even a moment had passed before George got a message, opening his communicator only to read from Quackity, ‘don’t have too much fun with Dream ;)’ Groaning, he quickly replied ‘we’re not doing anything, we’re investigating something important. Fuck off’

“Should have waited until he got here to say anything. Now Quackity is gonna lord this over my head forever.” “You think yours is bad? Sapnap’s been blowing my messages up, I can tell.” The brunette snorted at the reply, tilting his head to get a peek at the cover of the book. “It’s just some basic stuff. Like a tutorial book, I guess would be a good word for it. Figured it would pass the time.” “Can I read it?” “I guess. Here.” Dream moved the book and himself so the two were sitting leg to leg, setting the book down between the two of them. “Better read fast, though.”

They got through the entire book before Dream finally became impatient enough to ask. “How long has it been since-“ “It’s been about forty five minutes. I guess if we’re gonna do it now would be the time.” George began uncorking the potions, drinking the night vision first before his face scrunched up at the scent of the other. He powered through, forcing himself to drink it as Dream got the other things ready. When George had finally shrunken to the five inches he usually became, the blonde already had the string ready to tie a knot around the other’s waist. He tied it as securely as he could, watching the other’s face for any sign that he made it too tight. The brunette wouldn’t lie, seeing the amount of concern the other was putting into making sure this went okay put a warm feeling in his chest, and he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face.

At the same time, he couldn’t help the curiosity building inside him either. He’d always been stored by Sapnap, and Quackity had yet to have a chance to store him. Would being stored by someone without those instincts really be so different? He genuinely didn’t know what to expect, and it made the fluttery feeling in his stomach grow, but not out of fear. The knot was secure, the totem was in his inventory, and his communicator was in his pocket, waiting for him to start the call when he finally made it down. There was no way he could get gravely injured with all the precautions they put in place, and all that was left to do was see how this went.

“Ready?” Dream asked softly, and George didn’t hesitate before giving him a nod.

Getting eaten by three different people all the time gave Dream an advantage he hadn’t thought about before; He knew the best way to get George ready to be swallowed without causing him discomfort. He didn’t even get anywhere near the other’s teeth when he’d been gently placed into his mouth, and the movements around him were nothing short of calculated but gentle. It did not take long at all for him to be nudged back, and his nerves began to grow again. Even with the precautions they had in place, something could always go wrong. Gripping the totem of undying tightly in his hand, he used the other to pat at the tongue below him.

That was the sign Dream had been looking for, as he was then pushed the rest of the way back and tugged down with a soft swallow. Almost instantly, his friend gave a choked sound, and he froze up completely. “Dream!?” “String.” The larger rasped out, swallowing again and again to send him further down enough that his airway could clear and hopefully help the scratchy feeling the string left behind.

His hands were shaking badly due to the painful sensation, and honestly he should have expected an outcome like this. When the string was jerked out of his weak grasp to his next swallow, his mind froze in shock. He jammed his fingers into his mouth, trying to grasp the end of it before it was gone, but he was helpless to stop it as he swallowed a final time, the last of the string disappearing from his mouth.

Well… at least his throat didn’t hurt so bad now. The second his airways were clear, he was hyperventilating, scrambling to his feet to rush to the bathroom. He needed to let George out, he needed to let him out now they didn’t know if this was safe he couldn’t let anything happen to his best friend-

His throat hurt still, and he was shaking with adrenaline and fear, heart racing as he tried to make himself throw up. He would have thought feeling so sick at the thought of hurting his friend would make it a little easier for him to succeed at that goal, but all he was doing was dry heaving. Tears dripped down his face as he kept trying, unable to bear the thought of something happening.

It only occurred to him that it was a potion side effect when his abdomen was completely sore along with his throat and he still hadn’t thrown up George or the berry, only the saliva from his mouth. Collapsing against the vanity, he started full-on sobbing, arms wrapped around his stomach. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry George, it was a stupid idea you were right-“ his communicator began to ring, and he almost ignored it, he almost threw it against the wall. He didn’t want to talk to anyone after this, not after he was the reason George was going to die. Maybe Sam would lock him up in the prison, it’d be what he deserved-

He only faltered when he saw just who was calling. He answered immediately, shakily holding the com up to his ear. “Stop! Stop crying, you’re literally disorienting me, for Prime’s sake-“ “George?” His voice was raspy and weak, as if in disbelief. “I’m fine, I’ve been trying to tell you I’m fine but you couldn’t hear me! You need to calm down, Dream.” “Are you-“ “The berry’s whole. The potion shuts your system down completely, I’m safe. Just breathe, okay?” Now that the organ he was in wasn’t jumping around as often as before, he could feel his own fear beginning to subside.

~ ~ ~

When he’d been dropped into his stomach he couldn’t figure out for the life of him why Dream was freaking out, his heart beating rapidly enough to raise concern in him. It wasn’t until he felt something fall into the organ with him that he realize what had happened, finding the end of the string and holding it up to the communicator so he could identity it. “…Shit.” He whipped around, directing the light towards the other side of the stomach, searching for the berry and finding it whole with a sigh of relief. At least he wasn’t in danger. Of course, he couldn’t even begin to relax at that point, as the other began trying to empty his stomach, the walls clenching and relaxing around him and throwing him around as they attempted and failed to bring him back up. “..Dream? What are you-“ the next attempt threw his balance off, and he landed in an ungraceful heap on the floor, groaning as he tried to sit up again. His fingers were wrapped tightly around his communicator, knuckles white as he tried to keep his bearings as his friend continued to try and throw him up. He needed to get the other’s attention, he needed to calm him down. “Dream! Dream, it’s okay. You gotta calm down.” He tried rubbing at the stomach walls, something he did with Sapnap knowing it made him relax, but he got no kind of positive response, only hearing his friend give up, and begin to sob, shaking the organ worse than before. With a sigh, he pulled his hand away.

“Dream? Dream! I’m okay, I’m safe!” “I’m sorry, I’m sorry George-“ he can’t hear me, he realized. Quickly pulling up his contact on the com he wasted no time dialing him.

~ ~ ~

Eventually, the blonde had managed to get his breaths back to the semi-calm it had been before, wiping the last of his tears away as his shoulders slumped against the vanity. “Are.. are you sure you’re okay?” “Yea. Berry’s completely fine.” “George, how am I supposed to bring you up? The potion makes it impossible to throw up.” “I.. dunno. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” The brunette tried once more to rub at the walls surrounding him, trying to ease them of their tenseness. Thankfully, it worked this time, Dream relaxing more around him. “Should I swallow another string-“ “I said we’d cross that bridge when we got to it. You’re just stressing yourself out. Go lay down.” “George-“ “Go lay down or I’m calling Sapnap.” A frustrated sigh answered him, but at least the admin listened, if the movement around him meant anything.

Once everything settled down again, he felt something press against him.

“..Guess I could tell Skeppy and Bad what the potion does.” “Make sure your voice is better first. You know how much Bad worries.” “My voice is as good as it’s gonna get.” As George scoffed at the response, his call was ended, and before he could complain about that as well, Dream spoke up, his voice echoing around him. “If something happens, tap three times. One for yes, two for no otherwise. Sound good?” He tapped the wall once before continuing to rub at it, now trying to distract instead of comfort the larger. A content sigh sounded above him, and he relaxed as he felt something- Dream’s hand, what else could it have been- rub against him from outside. Not that it was hard to relax, of course. Dream wasn’t as warm as Sapnap, not by a long shot, but the darkness and the warmth was comfortingly familiar, along with the larger’s heart beating and breathing now that it had settled. Even his voice, which had become mostly background noise as he spoke to their demon friend, was a comforting rumble to relax to. As his eyes closed, he wondered if maybe he should have let Dream know he was falling asleep.

He found he didn’t really care. He’d deal with it when he woke up.

[percival-templeton]

Context: While still in Dorne, Lady Alerie Frey sought out Lord Duncan Tarth to discuss matters regarding the execution of their mutual friend, Lord Pearse Caron.

( Duncan Tarth @evenfallsbrightest & mention of Pearse @wcrdsarewind )

Alerie strolled through the city of Sunspear with her cane in one hand, the steady companion to her uneasy gait on the days her tonics didn’t altogether alleviate the discomfort. Her steps led her towards the quarters of the Crownlanders —and of those who still identified as Stormlanders, regardless of the annexation to exist under the rule of a dragon queen. “Lord Tarth, please,” the woman said to the guards. What she had to say, what she had been saying to him on sporadic encounters, couldn’t be said here. A note was sent earlier, requesting that he joined her for a walk. The bustling streets of Sunspear could drown their secrets.

—

An argument had broken out the day the Tarths were meant to leave for Stonehelm and the wedding of his sister's dear friend to Lord Velaryon, supporter of a false queen he didn't recognize. What had been said didn't matter, but somehow at the end of it someone had pushed Minisa to the ground so he and his lord father were all too close to actual blows. He didn't mean for his sister to get hurt, in fact he wasn't sure if he did the pushing, but it was blamed on him for starting the fight. So he was to remain in Dorne, now barred from social events. His father had threatened to name Minisa heir over him for his behavior. But what did being heir mean when he could have been king? There was Baratheon blood in him, not so distant to be forgotten, but that wasn't enough. Pearse had shown him the way, but he was gone now. So his other half would do. Duncan Tarth was pacing, ready early for this walk, when his guards summoned him. When he saw Lady Frey, he bowed and offered her his arm, letting her rely on him for security as they walked versus her cane. “How are you today, Lady Frey?”

—

“I’m faring well, my lord,” the woman answered, a subtle smile crossing her lips. A smile that appeared to be a struggle of sorts, the urge to smile despite any despair beneath. “Well, as well as one could fair these days. I’m afraid I worry about the state of things”. As did he, she was sure. So much had been revealed in past conversations with her dear Pearse. Alerie let out a soft sigh and held on to Lord Duncan’s arm as he offered. She rarely accepted another’s assistance to walk, too proud to do so, but she did take the arm of the Tarth lord. It was important to show she was willing to rely on him, in every possible way.

“I have something for you, actually,” she mentioned. “Lord Caron made a gift to my family, a symbol of his friendship to House Frey. Frankly, I believe he ought to have given it to you, to a true Stormlander, Lord Duncan,” the brunette added, slipping her hand into a satchel she carried. From it, she extracted a present wrapped in a silvery-grey cloth. Alerie removed the cloth to reveal a small dagger, a beautiful and elegant thing, its hilt decorated with swirling figures that depicted various houses of the Stormlands. “I know you were a genuine friend to Pease. The only friend who might still hold true what he fought for— what he died for”. Alerie swallowed hard, keeping her voice as steady as possible, balancing her words through the fine act of keeping her emotions in check but showing enough vulnerability to sway Lord Duncan’s emotions.

—

He had seen his sister mourn so many men. Not just their brothers but the promised futures men gave when they said they desired to marry her. He'd find her a nice marriage, somewhere on the ocean, with someone who could love her when this was over. Duncan was no fool as to not see the struggle and pain written in Alerie's eyes. He felt for her, knowing what that looked like in private, knowing the depths pain could dig in and hollow out. It would be a shame if Alerie had to feel such sadness. “You are not the only one who worries. My father remains blind to the possibilities a world without the dragons lording over us. I fear it's from old age warping his mind with all that pesky nostalgia.”

Duncan raised a brow as he was offered the dagger, taking it and observing the designs. He could see his own moon and sun, along with the nightingales of House Caron, reminding him of the loss of a dear friend. “Yes, I fear I am. Other houses have hidden their involvement for fear of the executioner's axe. My family demands I pretend I never met Pearse.” Duncan sighed and covered the dagger, looking at Alerie with kind blue eyes. “Are you sure? I don't want to take a reminder from you that you would rather keep.”

—

Alerie’s hand rested on the lord’s arm in a comforting manner, sharing in the concern he felt over his own realm. “I’m sorry your homeland has been sieged by the dragons in such a way. I was truly horrified to learn about the death of the dowager queen. It was so… unexpected,” she said with a deep frown. It was obvious what her thoughts were on the matter, and she could only assume Lord Duncan shared similar ideas. It had been quite fortuitous for the dragon queen that her sister-in-law was removed as any sort of obstacle for full control over the Stormlands, after all. Such things were rarely coincidences. Someone spoke or acted out of turn and they were quietly taken out, especially when political conflict could arise from a more direct manner of elimination.

“I cannot blame them, really. The dragon queen is a fearsome figure, no doubt unafraid to remove her enemies in such public displays to instill fear in others,” the Frey lady sighed, her expression softening at the mention of Pearse. It was both an act and not, for she genuinely missed her beloved and was still haunted by the image of his execution…  “It’s alright, truly. I’m certain he would have wanted you to have it, especially in a time like this, my lord,” the woman reassured him with a subtle but kind smile. “He might be gone, but the true friendship and loyalty that bound the two of you together shall live on”.

—

Duncan had been in love with Margaery Baratheon. He had intended once she was done with mourning to propose marriage to her. He had been sure she would accept, as her children needed a father and he was a good man, he would make a good husband. His sister believed so and up until recently, Minisa's word had been better than that of the Gods. What a fool he'd been. “Unexpected and foolish. If she truly killed the queen, and it were discovered... the Stormlands must raise their banners in her memory. But we have been told she died of illness.” He didn't believe it, not for a second. He'd seen her privately, she was healthy after giving birth, and the maesters tending her had told her she was free of any complications. Not like his mother, who had died giving birth to him.

“And I am driven by that friendship to be any help I can be for you, Lady Alerie.” The last Tarth male speaks with a sincerity to his words that is far too serious. The dagger disappears into a pocket as they walk, swallowed up by now by the streets of Dorne. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

—

“Well, only the gods know the truth on that matter,” the lady said, as the fate of Margaery Baratheon might forever remain a mystery to them. The mere fact that the two of them could assume what had been done was quite telling, however, that they thought the Targaryens capable of such a thing. It was said that when a Targaryen is born, the gods flipped a coin; one side was greatness, the other was madness. Alerie believed that regardless of what side such a coin landed on, Targaryens had it in them to always be cruel and do carry out whatever whim they had to cling to power. The Dance of Dragons was the very testament to that.

“Thank you, my lord. Your words mean so much to me,” Alerie smiled softly and noticed with some relief and some pride that Duncan Tarth accepted Pearse’s dagger, concealing it. Hopefully to be used in the near future. The Frey lady walked side by side with the heir of Evenfall Hall and she glanced at him, the warmth in her eyes fading momentarily. “Perhaps there is, my lord,” the Frey lady said in a quieter tone, “as I believe you and I might have a similar sense of justice, and of what should be done”.

END.