#but it's so funny that he interviewed an actual murderer about a cold case and it just. isn't shown

[secondbeatsongs]

you know a book is romance-focused when there are multiple full scenes of people doing home repair and gazing softly at each other, but then when a main character interviews a literal convicted murderer, it happens offscreen

[all-pacas]

actually i want to talk about/recommend the You’re Wrong About podcast?

YWA is a fairly typical podcast in many ways — two friends take turns doing deep dives into subjects, one explaining to the other, with the “hook” being that they’re going to explain a misconception about the “popular memory” of that person or event. what makes it unique, however, is that both are journalists who happily obsess over their personal bugbears — Sarah Marshall has worked for a number of publications and is writing a book, and her obsession tends to be with mistreated women and fleshing out stories: she’s slowly doing a series on the OJ Simpson trial and, no joke, they’re about a twenty episodes in and haven’t even gotten to the trial yet, because Marshall keeps deep diving into the lives and histories and people involved. 

an early stand out episode she covered was the murder of Kitty Genovese, the famous case of bystander syndrome, which turns out to not be that at all: kitty was a gay woman whose sexuality and partner were erased from the story, whose friend witnessed the crime but was terrified to call the police because he was a gay man in the 1960s, and who a third friend ran out unarmed to try to help her, in whose arms she died. there were never a dozen witnesses: it was 3 in the morning. no one called 911 because  911 didn’t exist yet: it was implemented in part because of how hard it was for anyone to call for help (and, several people did). oh, and kitty’s murderer had killed a Black woman just a few days before, which no one cared too much about until it was a young white woman who could be made into a moral cause about the “corruption of the big city” and how apathetic and cold it made those living there. this famous murder that tons of people have heard of in passing, and everything you know about it was wrong or out of context.

the other host is Michael Hobbs, and his personal focus is less on maligned people and more on social and societal myths: a light episode of his is Y2K, where he talks about both how it was over and underblown at the time; he’s also done multi-part episodes on the Tuskegee scandal, Enron, and so on: a standout introductory episode of his is, i think, his covering of Disco Demolition Night, the so-called “end” of disco music as a popular thing, which he points out was actually a pointedly racist and homophobic event — not “accidental”, but very much intentional, from the promotions (he points out that the phrase “disco sucks” was used extensively, and straight up homophobic in a way that it doesn’t read as today, as “sucks” has become just a generalized expression  of dislike), to the history OF disco as a genre. where Marshall is all about going deep into people and their psychology and motives, Hobbs is endearingly — reporterly? — about his work: they joke about how every episode he hosts comes with 40 pages of notes and multiple interviews he’s conducted with experts.

the two also have great chemistry and while they do joke and talk like “normal” people (”ohhh, sweetie!” is one of the show’s catchphrases, whenever Hobbs is overcome with the foreshadowing the people in the story are missing), they’re never disrespectful and never… quippy. they both mutually love experts and statistics, always sympathize with the right people (while still holding them accountable), and just are always active and engaged listeners and hosts: a fun mini-series they did was reading Jessica Simpson’s biography not to make fun of her but to just… understand and reflect on her life, and they sincerely enjoyed the book! another fun one they did was the “Summer BookClub” episodes where Marshall (for whom the Satanic Panic is her life’s work) read aloud “Michelle Remembers,” a truly terrible book about a woman’s invented memories and the lithe psychologist who (accidentally) manipulated her into them, that more or less started and invented the Satanic Panic, as Hobbs slowly sank into despair: both very funny and very informative.

both hosts now have additional “spin off” podcasts that follow the same “one person explains to another” format: appropriately, both play on their strengths and personal obsessions: Marshall has “What Are Dads?” which deep dives into movies about masculinity; Hobbs has “Maintainence Phase,” a podcast dedicated to tearing apart every single diet fad and myth week by week. both are delightful!

they’re also entirely ad free: they have a patreon but do not require or solicit donations. like, i don’t begrudge podcasts for their ads or sponsors; it’s just the way it is sometimes. but it is a little refreshing, mixed with the obsessive note taking and research, that they’re also just… not that interested in profiting off their work. they’re ranting for four hours about why human trafficking statistics make no sense because they are just people who want to research and rant about that, and i think that’s just neat.

[chiechie97]

A side story

As promised,

A little side story form the perspective of our favourite idiot. Read below, or read it here on Ao3

_______________________________________________________________________

“Have you ever heard of the muggle magazine sports illustrated?” Frank Longbottom asked, interrupting him from the paperwork he’d been pushing around his desk for the past hour.

“No. Why? Are you looking to take up muggle football?” James asked, leaning back in his chair, his muggle neighbour had convinced him to join his Sunday team, and he was actually rather enjoying it,

“No, it’s just I’ve had a very interesting note from Alice.” Frank held out the memo that had just flown into his inbox, “she won’t tell me why I need to go find a copy, but she says it’s exceptionally important, and to report back to her once I have.”

James took the purple note from his deskmate's hand.

Frank, I need you to go to the nearest muggle corner shop and get me a copy. It’s IMPORTANT. Also try not to make a scene when you see WHY it’s so important. Report back.

 x 

Alice

“Well that’s not cryptic and odd” He mused handing it back to Frank,

“Fancy a walk to the corner store?” The older man asked, getting up from the rickety desk.

“Might as well. Not getting anywhere on the Dolohov case.”

That case had been doing his head in for weeks. They knew it was him who attacked that muggle school girl, but they had no evidence, no witnesses, just the cold calculating smirk of a man who knew he was likely going to get away with murder.

James had joined the Auror department with starry eyes, and an intense sense of grandeur and adventure.

So far, the only adventure he’d had was raiding the occasional shop in Knockturn Alley, and interviewing sleazebags that were more often than not let off without so much as a warning.

And while the rainy London streets didn’t do much to clear his bad mood, the fresh air certainly cleared his head.

So by the time they stepped into the small corner store kitty corner to their ministry entrance, he was at least thinking straight.

James wandered around the shop, stocking up on double deckers and curly wurlys. It was no honey dukes chocolate, but it was enough for a sugar high.

“Hey mate, looking for sports illustrated.” Frank said to the teenager behind the counter

“Ah bet you are,” the teenager grinned, “I already saved abou’ six copies for my mates at school.”

The teenager pulled a copy of the magazine from behind him and passing it to Frank.

Frank was silent for a minute, staring down at the glossy cover.

“She’s real fit ain’t she?” The teenager grinned, “All the boys at school love her. My mate John’s got a print out of her in his bedroom.”

“James, I think you should come take a look at this.” Frank called, his voice strange.

Looking over his friend's shoulder, James dropped the stack of sweets he was carrying.

He knew that Lily Evans had taken a muggle job after graduation, but he hadn’t known it was this sort of muggle job.

She was kneeling in the sand, one arm covering her bare breasts, the other pushing back her long red hair as tropical turquoise water splashed up behind her. She was laughing at the camera, green eyes crinkled but still as bright and startling as he remembered them.

How she’d managed to make a photo look both incredibly sexy, yet genuine and funny, was beyond him.

James snatched the magazine out of Frank's hand, “holy shit,” was all he managed to say.

“Did you know?” 

“Marleen mentioned she wasn’t really a part of our world anymore, but I didn't𑁋 I didn’t realise she meant this.”  He gaped,

He was still staring in shock as Frank paid for two magazines and the candy bars he’d dropped.

The magazine was filled with different pictures of her, lounging against the curve of a palm tree in an emerald green one piece, another of her standing under the spray of a small waterfall in what had to be the smallest bikini known to man.

How the hell had he missed this?

And while the pictures were certainly… eye catching, the article about her was what truly made his head spin.

Lily Evans has been making waves since her Milan fashion week debut with DROMe. Opening her first ever show in a crowd shocking (and pleasing) corset inspired leather suit, Evans has since taken the fashion world by storm. Managing to achieve what few models are capable of; selling sexy and classy at the same time

Since then she’s been seen on every runway from Gucci to Schiaparelli, not to mention her opening last year's Victoria's Secret fashion show with the brand's legendary fantasy bra. Lily Evans has managed to fit a lifetime of fashion achievements into a few short years, something that’s nothing short of a miracle given her upbringing and subsequent discovery.

“I grew up really poor.” The fashion icon says, as she stirs the ice in her coffee, “I’m from the south east of England, I was raised by my grandad, and his pension didn’t allow for much luxury. So sometimes I feel out of place when I’m surrounded by so much opulence. When I was scouted I was so hesitant to say yes, but I’m so glad I did. It changed my life.

Evans has always been cagey about her upbringing, simply alluding to a difficult childhood. “I don’t like talking about the past. It’s just that, the past, and there’s no need to think about what’s already happened.” 

But the future is bright for Evans, there’s been buzz in the industry for awhile about her becoming the face of Geravolo, the Italian fashion powerhouse that’s as exclusive as it is boundary pushing. But Evans plays coy when asked about it

“I love Mario, he’s a genius and I adore working with him” is all she says, sipping her coffee. “I can’t wait to see what the future holds.”

James was still staring at the magazine as they walked through the ministry entry hall.

He had done his best to forget his last two years of school, though if he was honest he’d been too drunk to remember anything other than classes and exams.

But those pictures of Evans being successful, fully moved on from their past. Looking like that.

His stomach was stirring, his mind was racing, and his dick might have been a little bit hard.

James Potter was spiralling, and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.

He was still spiralling when Remus and Sirius came over for drinks.

“Did you know about this?” He asked, shoving the magazine at his friend.

“Blimey is that𑁋”

“Lily’s been working as a model.” Remus said, interrupting Sirius, “has been for some time now.”

“And you never told us?” Sirius asked, picking up the magazine, a look of shock akin to how James had felt earlier.

Remus shrugged, taking a sip of his drink “I didn’t think you would care.”

The look he gave James was telling, and it made bile rise in the back of throat.

Sirius let out a low whistle, flipping through the different glossy pages of a half naked Evans, “she grew up.”

“Lily’s always been exceptionally pretty,” Remus said evenly, his eyes still not leaving James.

“This is some high brow muggle stuff, how long has she been doing it?”

“For about three years now, she blew up pretty quickly. Grant and I have been to a few of her shows, that’s why we were in Paris fashion week last fall.”

“Ah yes, the Paris trip.” Sirius said somewhat bitterly. He’d spent weeks ranting to James about that one. “And you didn’t think to mention you were going to watch Lily Evans walk around starkers?”

“She wasn’t naked.” Remus laughed, “Well for one show, I guess sort of. A little weird seeing your old school mate's nipples, but for the most part it was just artsy high end fashion.”

“Isn’t this wild Prongs?” Waving the magazine at him.

“Yeah. Wild.”

[jungshookz]

miss cee pd i have a request!!!! how about e2l tae x y/n but they're in law school and they're always arguing and debating inside and outside of the classroom and tae being a little shit is like "you wanna kiss me so bad" and they both don't realise that there's mistletoe above them which jimin put because he was tired of watching them constantly argue and wanted to fiZzle the tension hehe and then they KITH,, i hope this isn't too long aha

➺ pairing; kim taehyung x reader

➺ genre; sfw!! enemies to lovers!! everyone’s in law school!! mostly y/n and taehyung bickering with each other and wanting to jump each other’s bones at the same time

➺ wordcount; 4.3k

➺ what to expect; “don’t flatter yourself. i would rather throw myself into oncoming traffic than kiss you, kim taehyung.”

                                     »»————-　❄　————-««

“-now, the particular case study that was assigned to our group involves a civil action for medical negligence and a criminal prosecution for gross negligence manslaughter, which means that there are seven elements that we need to hit when we’re acting out our simulation next class,” you explain, flipping to the next page of your notebook with a flick of your wrist, “firstly, the client - jimin - must be interviewed so that we may determine the facts that surround the claim/prosecution. secondly, we need to draft witness statements - from hoseok and namjoon - and assess the legal efficacy of said statements. thirdly, we must assess the propriety of police interrogation from officer jungkook of the defend-”

you pause when a crumpled piece of paper lands by your left foot and you clear your throat quietly before stepping over it and continuing to pace back and forth at the front of the classroom

your eyes skim over your scribbled words as you try to relocate your place

…

ah!

here we are

“-ant, seokjin, through all transcripts along with the custody record. fourthly, we move on to assessing the reports that have been produced by the forensic experts-”

another balled-up piece of paper hits your foot and your head immediately snaps upwards from your book before you twist around to face the room

“would you cut that out, please?” you snap, already feeling your blood pressure starting to rise from a single glance at taehyung’s smug face

“what? i didn’t know how else to get your attention!” he hums, his arm dangling in the air with a floppy wrist, “my arm’s been up for the past three minutes, and you would’ve known that if you didn’t have your nose buried deep in your book.”

the reminder that you wouldn’t last a day in prison keeps you from lunging forward to wrap your hands around taehyung’s neck and you press your lips together to stop yourself from saying anything too crass

the last thing you need is for some professor to walk past the classroom while you’re cussing up a storm

your self-control has really been put to the test ever since you met taehyung

after all this time, you still don’t know what the guy’s deal is

he’s been a pain in your ass since day one

and for what??

for WHAT?!

at first you just thought that being a complete prick was just his weird version of being charismatic, but then you realised that he wasn’t being charming at all and he was really, truly, genuinely being a straight-up asshole

and, for the record, you’ve tried several times in the past to try to make things better but nothing’s worked

you said that he looked nice in his suit = he told you to stop looking at him like a piece of meat

you asked him how he did on the midterm exam = he told you that it was his right to keep that piece of information private and that you were being a snake by even asking about it

you said happy birthday to him = he said, and you quote, “yeah. it was until you got here.”

the point is, you’ve waved many white flags of surrender and extended many, many olive branches to no avail

at this point you’re pretty sure taehyung just gets off on being a jerk to you

and it’s not fair because it’s literally just you that he picks on constantly

at first you thought that maybe he was just threatened by your presence because you made it pretty clear from day one that you weren’t here to play around

powerful women are intimidating!

you totally get it.

…but then you overheard him offering rosé some studying tips and you even saw him help wendy carry her books for her and everyone knows that rosé and wendy are two of the smartest girls in the class, so why wasn’t he threatened by them?

...

the point is, he doesn’t treat anyone else in the class like this except for you and you can’t seem to figure out why!

what makes it even more frustrating is the fact that his stupid face is very nice to look at, so whenever he’s being mean to you, your dumb girl hormones drown out the sound of his rich, honey-like voice and place floating pink hearts around his head instead

“i’m so sorry i wasn’t paying attention to you, mr. kim.” you force out before gesturing to the notebook cradled in the crook of your arm, “see, all my notes are in here and i’m just trying to make sure that i don’t miss out on any details,” you point out, “and… i thought i said to save your questions for the end, did i not?”

“did you? i guess i wasn’t listening. sorry, sweetheart.” taehyung chirps, folding his arms and leaning forward on his desk, “anyway- don’t you think it’s a little unfair that you get to play the hotshot lawyer in this simulation?”

“everyone gets a turn to be the lawyer - last week, it was jungkook. this week, it’s me. everyone gets a shot to play the hotshot lawyer because our roles rotate.” you shake your head in disagreement, “how am i being unfair?”

“you assigned yourself, like, the coolest case study.” taehyung scoffs, leaning back against his seat and crossing his arms, “i mean… medical negligence and a criminal prosecution for gross negligence manslaughter?” his left brow arches before he turns his head slightly, “jungkook, what was your case study on again?”

“my client parked in a no-parking zone!” jungkook beams, nodding to himself, “i didn’t mind getting that case, though. it was actually pretty fu-”

“you hear that, y/n?” taehyung turns his head back to face you before gesturing behind him, “jungkook also thinks his case was boring as hell- his client parked in a no-parking zone and you get to deal with corrupt doctors and accidentally-but-not-really-accidentally-run-over-by-a-car pedestrians.”

your jaw clenches in frustration and you resist the urge to take a heel off and bash taehyung’s skull in with it

being forced to wear nice shoes to school would be so much better if you were allowed to commit cold-blooded murder with them

“well, that was last week’s case, so even if jungkook thought it was boring…” you pause, turning to set your notebook down on the front desk before twisting back around, “he’s already had his turn. and now it’s my turn!”

“you could’ve given me this case.”

“oh, please.” you snort, rolling your eyes before leaning against the front desk, “you wouldn’t have been able to handle a case this big. this has my name written all over it.”

taehyung scoffs, rolling his eyes, “the only reason why it has your name written all over it was because you grabbed it with your grubby little raccoon hands before anyone else had the chance to-”

“i-!” you pinch the bridge of your nose before letting out a laugh of disbelief, “oh my god, i refuse to have this conversation with you again, taehyung- for the last time, it was a first-come-first-serve situation, and you probably could’ve gotten this case if you weren’t so busy watching netflix in class-”

“you guys-” namjoon clears his throat, his shoulders drooping when the two of you ignore him, “…never mind.”

this always happens

you guys somehow always find something to argue about no matter what

in fact, namjoon’s convinced that you guys could sit in complete and utter silence and still find something to fight over

“how long do you think the argument will last this time?” yoongi leans over, “i bet you ten bucks it’ll last longer than last week’s fight.”

“no way! last week’s fight was half an hour long-” hoseok chimes in, “…they can’t possibly argue for longer than thirty minutes… can they?”

“remember that time they fought over a sandwich?” jungkook sighs, leaning his cheek against his fist, “that was a forty minute argument.”

“they fought over a sandwich?” jimin frowns, turning to glance towards the front, “what was there to even argue about??”

“y/n said that the spread was dijon mustard and taehyung said it was horseradish mustard,” seokjin purses his lips, “…i actually ordered the same sandwich and i’m pretty sure it was just regular ol’ yellow mustard… but i’m too afraid to tell either of them they’re wrong about it.”

“oh my god-” jimin scoffs, “forty minutes arguing about mustard?? really??”

“yep! i even recorded the whole thing just because it’s actually pretty interesting listening to two people scream about mustard so passionately for so long,” jungkook pulls his phone out of his back pocket, the rest of the boys scooting in closer to his desk, “by the time we finish watching the video, they’ll… probably be done arguing with each other. maybe.”

“-ow thick is your skull, taehyung? were you dropped on your head as a baby??” you scowl, “if i was a teacher’s pet like you say i am, then i would’ve sweet-talked my way out of being in a group with you. also, you know what? i wasn’t going to bring this up, but the only reason why we’re here during christmas break is because it was your idea to practice during the holidays-”

“yeah! you get to practice your big show in a huge, empty classroom without getting nervous about someone overhearing you practice speaking in your dumb, professional lawyer voice-” taehyung gestures around at the spacious atmosphere, “if this is your way of being thankful to me, you have an awfully funny way of showing it-”

“do you know what i could be doing right now if i wasn’t here?” you scowl, placing your hands on your hips as you glare at taehyung

“hm, let me think…” he hums, leaning back against his chair before kicking his legs up onto his desk, “bending over and trying desperately to pull the fat stick out of your ass?”

jimin sits up a little straighter as he peers over the top of namjoon and seokjin’s heads to check and see if you and taehyung are done arguing yet

your ears are turning red and there’s an animalistic, frenzied look behind your eyes, so... nope. definitely not done yet.

after all this time, he still doesn’t know why you guys fight the way that you do

it’s like you enjoy pushing each other’s buttons and irritating each other until one of you inevitably snaps (you’re usually the first one to fall off the rocker because taehyung is alarmingly good at being irritating)

“ooh, hold on-” jungkook grins, pointing to the screen before whacking jimin’s arm in rapid smacks, “my favourite part is coming up, you have to pay attention-”

jimin looks away from you two and back down at the screen

“-the low acidity liquid gives dijon mustard that intensified heat and the classic pungent flavour which is very obvious in this sandwich!” you exclaim, peeling the top slice of bread off to reveal the inside, “and look at that colour! that is literally dijon mustard-”

“okay, fine! it’s dijon mustard.” taehyung responds while inspecting his nail beds

“no, you’re not listening to- wait… did you just agree with me?”

“yeah!” he sighs, crossing his arms, “the mustard used in your sandwich is dijon mustard. and also, the sky is green-”

“oh my god, you piece of-!”

jimin looks up again when he hears your voice rise a couple of octaves

this is the part of the argument when your ‘i’m-fine-don’t-touch-me-I’M-FINE’ voice comes out

“wow! you are-” you laugh, shaking your head as you lean down and place your hands flat on the surface of taehyung’s desk “you really are something else, kim taehyung. i-!”

you let out a yelp of surprise when taehyung suddenly reaches over and yanks at a section of your hair

“ow!” you whack his hand away before flicking your hair over your shoulder, “wha- what the hell was that for?!”

taehyung doesn’t flinch at your aggressive tone and he looks up at you, completely unfazed, before giving a half-hearted shrug

“it was hanging, like, right in front of me. i couldn’t not pull on it.”

“well, your tie is right there but you don’t see me reaching over and pulling on it to strangle you because it’s right in front of me-”

“oh, threatening to choke me, are we?” taehyung hums, “i’m suddenly feeling very unsafe. should i get one of the guys to call campus security for my protection, miss y/n?”

“do you guys think we should break things off?” seokjin glances over his shoulder at the escalating scene, “ideally, i’d like for this to not turn into a how to get away with murder scenario…”

jimin narrows his eyes slightly as the gears click-click-click away in his head, leaning back against his seat and reaching up to tap at his chin

there’s something about this situation that’s reminding him of something but he can’t quite put his finger on it

“oh my god, you are such a child-!”

jimin’s eyes suddenly widen in realization, a lightbulb appearing at the top of his head

!

does taehyung like y/n?

...

oh, wow

taehyung has a full-blown crush on you!

how could he not have noticed this before?!

taehyung is literally the bratty little boy pulling on your pigtails because he doesn’t know how else to get your attention on this playground!

a comment from a former conversation with you briefly flits through jimin’s mind as he continues staring at the two of you in awe

he doesn’t remember how exactly you guys started talking about it, but he does remember you saying these words to him:

“i mean… yeah. of course i think taehyung’s attractive. maybe in another universe where he’s not bullying me 24/7, i would be more open to admitting to myself that i might have a slight crush- i-i mean, i- what did we say we were going to get for lunch today?? sandwiches?? we should get sandwiches, the place is right here-”

how could he have forgotten you said that to him?!

it’s like he finally has his hands on the missing puzzle piece... and it’s up to him to finish this puzzle!

“i have a plan.” jimin whispers to himself before reaching over to grab onto jungkook’s wrist, “i know what i have to do!”

“huh?” jungkook frowns in confusion, pausing the video before looking over at him, “what are you talking about?”

“just-” jimin gets up from his seat quickly, the chair screeching against the floor, “just make sure they don’t stop arguing with each other while i’m gone because i might take a while to find what i need-”

“you know, i don’t think that’s going to be an issue,” yoongi snorts, everyone looking towards the front to see you glaring at taehyung like you want to rip his heart out of his chest and eat it raw, “check out that throbbing vein in y/n’s forehead.”

“forget about her forehead vein-” jungkook shakes his head, “has no one else noticed how tightly taehyung clenches his asscheeks whenever he’s pissed? those trousers do not hide anything.”

everyone’s eyes immediately gravitate down to taehyung’s ass, hoseok and seokjin bursting into giggles at the sight

“what the fuck is your problem?!” you scream, taehyung’s eyes widening at your sudden outburst, “you’ve treated me like shit from day one and i’ve literally done nothing wrong!”

“okay! i think we should all just take a step back and take a deep breath…” namjoon gets up from his seat slowly, “it’s getting a little intense-“

“nothing wrong?! oh yeah, because you’re little miss perfect-” taehyung spits out, “don’t play dumb, you know exactly what you did!”

“what did i-!” you throw your hands up into the air, “please, i am begging you to tell me what the horrible thing is that i did that made you decide i was public enemy number one-”

“i heard you talking shit about me at the very beginning of the semester when you didn’t even know me! we’d never met and you didn’t even bother trying to get to know me before you formed your own opinion of me based on the way i looked-” taehyung snaps, “you said that i looked like an entitled, obnoxious frat-boy who didn’t even know left from right and only made it to law school because his daddy gave the school a generous donation- so if we’re really going to talk about who the real asshole is in this room, i would suggest re-evaluating-”

you feel the blood drain from your face at the reminder of what you said about taehyung on the first day of class

...oh.

...

okay, yeah, you... might have said that stuff, but it was only because the other people you were sitting with at the time said stuff like that and... and you were so desperate to find a group of cool law-school friends that you were totally willing to say and do anything they wanted you to do or say!

it obviously didn’t work because you don’t sit with them anymore, so...

yeah, it was a bad move to talk shit about taehyung like that without even having spoken one word to him, but if this proves anything... it’s that peer pressure is dangerous!

“well, why didn’t you just-” you stammer, feeling your face starting to heat up from embarrassment, “why didn’t you just tell me about this earlier? we could’ve nipped it right in the bud-”

“i much prefer the bullying because the feeling i get after seeing the defeat in your eyes is equivalent to a full-body orgasm-”

“oh my god, you sick freak-”

“uh, you guys-” namjoon cuts in again, holding his finger up, “can i just s-”

“okay, fine!” you raise your hands in surrender, “i’m sorry, alright? i’m really sorry. what i said about you was shitty, but i don’t see how bullying me for months on end was a good solution-”

“can you two shut u-”

“oh, i never said it was a good solution, y/n,” taehyung purses his lips, “like i said - i just did it because it was fun-”

“guys, if i could just get one word in-”

“do you even realize how psychotic you sound right no-”

“HEY!” namjoon suddenly bellows, you and taehyung jumping and clamming up immediately in alarm

“what??” the two of you ask at the same time, pausing to glare at each other for a split second before looking back over at namjoon

“i…” he trails off, his eyes flickering upwards, “…know this is kind of awkward timing, but…”

you and taehyung look up simultaneously, your eyes widening to see a dinky little shrub of... mistletoe? taped at the end of a meter stick

oh no 

oh hell no

“kiss first, and then you can apologise for what was obviously a huge misunderstanding and you can apologise for being a huge prick later - pucker up, lovebirds!” jimin chirps, waving the stick a little and watching your eyes go side to side like a ping-pong ball, “don’t be shy! also, i know the mistletoe looks like a clump of grass that i tied a red ribbon around- just don’t look too closely at it-”

“ha!” you let out a laugh before shaking your head quickly, “no way! i don’t know what you people think is going on here, but it’s certainly not that- you can’t just dangle a plant over my head and force me to kiss him-”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” taehyung scoffs in offence, tilting his head upwards slightly, “anyone would be honoured to be under the mistletoe with me!”

“yeah. anyone out of their mind.”

“aw, c’mon, you guys…” hoseok pushes his bottom lip out in a pout before clasping his hands together, “kiss and make up! we all know that’s how it works. let the christmas spirit take over your bodies and fuel your weird hate-love for each othe-”

“the sooner you two kiss and make out, the sooner i can get the hell out of here,” yoongi interrupts, snapping his fingers, “c’mon! plant a fat one on each other!”

“the only reason why y/n’s getting whiney about it because she knows she’ll fall in love with me the moment she kisses me.” taehyung suddenly speaks up and you immediately look back down at him with a glare

fall in love????

with him????

it’s not going to take a single kiss to fall in love with taehyung - it’s going to take intensive exposure therapy to fall in love with him!

“don’t flatter yourself. i would rather throw myself into oncoming traffic than kiss you, kim taehyung.” you growl, smacking your hands down on taehyung’s desk so violently that it rattles beneath you

“now, now. there’s no need to lie…” taehyung chuckles lightly as he pushes his seat back slightly and rises to his feet

“i’m not lying! i don’t want to kiss you!”

“do too!”

“do not!”

“do TOO!”

“do NOT!”

“you know, you just sound like you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t want to kiss me-”

“you’re the one who keeps pushing it-” you jab a finger into his chest, “maybe you’re the one who wants to kiss me!”

“you think i wanna kiss you?!” taehyung laughs, flicking your hand away from him, “now look who the delusional one is!”

“i thought this was supposed to fix the arguing?” seokjin mutters under his breath, jungkook offering him a shrug while keeping his eyes glued on you and taehyung

he was running out of things to watch on netflix and this makes far better entertainment

the only thing that would make this better was if you and taehyung had at it in a grimy boxing ring half-naked

“i can’t be the only one thinking that all of this could be easily fixed if they just boned each other.” jungkook snorts, the other boys turning to look at him, “…what??”

“i wouldn’t kiss you even if you were the last man on earth.” you snarl, your voice wavering slightly

“you really expect me to believe that?” taehyung tilts his head, “don’t think i didn’t catch the way your eyes just flickered down to my lips, y/n...”

you feel your heart starting to pound in your chest when he places his hands flat on the desk as well, the tips of his fingers brushing over yours

at this proximity, the little voice in the back of your head can’t help but point out how pretty taehyung’s eyes are... and how nice he smells... and how soft his lips look...

...do you wanna kiss him?

oh, god

do you wanna kiss kim taehyung?!

no, you don’t

yes, you do

what??

WHAT?? 

“you wanna kiss me so bad, and you know it, y/l/n.” taehyung taunts, leaning forward just a little more

at this point, your faces are merely an inch away from each other’s and it wouldn’t take much effort to just lean in and… you know.

“i hate you.”

“if you hated me so much, then you wouldn’t be making such a big deal over silly little mistletoe now, would you?” taehyung smirks, pulling away before making his way around the desk so that he can get closer to you, “you like me but you’re too much of a wimp to admit it!”

“i like you?!” you gawk, “more like you like me!”

“okay-” jimin huffs, lowering the stick before taking a step back, “i really thought this was going to work, but my arms are getting tired, so if you two aren’t going to kiss, then i- oh-” his eyes widen in surprise when you and taehyung are suddenly lunging at each other not a second later, your hands cupping his cheeks and his hands gripping your waist as you kiss far more feverishly than he thought you two would

oh

oh my

“see, what’d i say? sexual tension!” jungkook kisses his teeth, leaning back against his chair and crossing his arms, “all that pent-up energy from arguing has led to this beautiful moment-”

“you’re an- mm- you’re an awful kisser, by the way-” taehyung mutters against your mouth, lips turning up in a boyish grin when you retaliate by shoving at his chest

“so are you!” you pull away only for taehyung to pull you right back in to press his mouth against yours again, “’m hating ehvery minute of this-”

“ah… isn’t young love sweet?” hoseok coos, jumping in his seat when taehyung suddenly shoves you up against the front desk with a thud, “so passionate!”

“okay, we’re just going to-” namjoon gets up from his seat gesturing for the boys to get up as well, “we’re happy to see that the argument has been settled!”

he hurries everyone to the front door and turns to glance over his shoulder, “when you guys are done, just… let us know! we’re going to pop over to starbucks for some hot chocolate. so... text one of us. or call! or you could use snapchat- it’s up to you, really-!”

namjoon doesn’t get a chance to say anything else before yoongi’s yanking his arm and pulling him backwards, reaching over to slam the door shut

a moment of silence goes by in which everyone takes a second to process what exactly just happened

“take your shirt off-”

“you take yours off first!”

“i... can’t tell if my plan was a success or a failure.” jimin mutters to himself, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck

“hey, if it makes you feel any better, at least they aren’t arguing with each other anymore!” jungkook cheers, clapping his hands quietly, “it’s a christmas miracle!”

❄️christmas with cee 2020 masterlist 🎄

[jeonggukookies]

too young || five

summary: you learn about jungkook’s past, and jungkook and his daughter aren’t too happy about that

word count: 4,116

genre: parent!au, single dad!jungkook angst

one || two || three || four || five

As long as you could remember, Valentine’s Day was your favorite holiday. You just loved making cute valentine’s cards, colored paper hearts and making little mailboxes to put your candy in. Not only that, but you just loved your parents spoiling each other on that day whether it was doing cute things spontaneously or putting love poems on sticky notes every where around the house.  

Valentine’s Day was just the day you wanted to be in love, but for the most part, you and your short term boyfriends never made it that long, so it was just mainly you working at schools, doing arts and crafts with the kiddos, spreading the love to them. 

Today was different. 

You invited all parents to come and help their child decorate their mailboxes, and you rescheduled any tasks or meetings that day as you wanted to spend the whole day visiting each classroom to see everyone’s progress and give candy out. 

Wanting to spend the most time with Jules, you visited her classroom last. Her classroom was well decorated for the holiday. The color pink and red along with messages and puns about love and hearts were found everywhere. 

Standing under the doorway, a smile appeared on your face once you saw Jules in Jungkook’s lap. She was laughing with her head tilted back as Jungkook traced his hand onto the cardboard mailbox. “Jungkook, why are you putting a hand turkey on our mailbox?!”

You talked to every student and parent in the class before taking a seat next to Jungkook. “I love the mailbox.” 

“Do you want to put your handprint on it?” Jules asked as she put a heart shape lollypop in her mouth and snuck one into your pocket. “Me and Jungkook have more for you later, but don’t tell anyone.” 

You smiled and grabbed a red marker from the table. “I would love to put my hand on the mailbox.”

“So I have some news,” Jungkook said as you pushed the marker lid off. “I have to leave a day early next week.” 

Jungkook was going on a business trip overseas for a week, and during that week, Jules was going to stay with you. At first you didn’t understand why Jungkook was telling you, but once you realized it, you dropped the marker abruptly. “Wait, that means you won’t be able to be there with me when I meet the girls.”

“I’m sorry, but I promise Jin is going to make sure it all runs smoothly,” Jungkook reassured you, picking up the marker off the table. “We can wait till after you come back if you want.”

You shook your head, not wanting to wait any longer to meet them. It was bound to happen whether you liked it or not. “It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” He questioned, raising his eyebrows. 

“I promise.” 

After school, you spent the rest of Valentine’s Day making blanket forts and watching movies with Jungkook and Jules, and you knew that you could never get tired of this. 

___________

“Uncle Jin!” Jules excitedly jumped up and down as Jin bent down and wrapped her arms around her. “I missed you!” 

“It’s not as if I didn’t see you a day ago.” Jin pulled away, smiling. “Your cousin is waiting for you in her room.” 

Jules hurried off to take off her jacket and rushed upstairs. “So you’re first meeting Taehyung’s wife first, then Jimin’s and then mine,” Jin quietly explained as he took your jacket along with Jules to put it on the coat rack. “Tae dropped her off first, so you can warm up to her. Jimin’s on his way to drop off Seo-yeon, and Su-ji is still at work and has to pick up tonight’s dinner.” 

He gestured behind him with his eyes where Tae’s wife, Ji-Ho was. You were surprised by her appearance. She looked like a normal human being when the boys had described her similar to the evil queen from Snow White.

"She doesn’t look scary at all,” you whispered in a hushed voice. “Why did you guys try to scare me?”

“Ji-Ho, this is Y/N, Jungkook’s girlfriend. Ji-Ho came early, and we’re just talking about a book idea she has,” Jin said in his normal tone, ignoring the comment you made. “She wants to write a book about being able to forgive and forget.” 

Sitting next to Jin on his white loveseat, you looked and smiled at Ji-Ho who was on the white sofa across from you two, staring at carpet, not meeting your eyes. “I didn’t know you wrote books. Why do you want to write a book about that?”

“The world is a cruel place where people hold grudges over trivial and dumb things. They say they forgive, but never forget. Teaching others and helping them learn to do that will make it seem like you’re mature and able to have peace with yourself,” she explained, now playing with her hands in her lap. “Why hold grudges when you can move on and not give them the power to think about them?”

“I suppose that you can be happier just living your own life when you focus on yourself and forget and forgive.” Jin shrugged his shoulders. 

“Do you think that people who can’t forgive and forget are unhappy people?” You asked. 

“Excuse me?” Ji-Ho asked, finally looking at you. 

“I think what she meant to say is-” You cut Jin off.

“Personally, I think you only need to forgive someone and come to terms that not everyone or everything is going to work out in your favor. Forgetting it is like running away from your problems. It’s not going to go away just because you ignore or forget the feeling; you just will experience it again.” You shrugged your shoulders as Jin muttered an ‘oh god we’re dead’ under his breath. He was shaking in fear, worried about what you were going to say next and afraid of Ji-Ho’s reaction.

Ji-Ho scoffed. “What do you think about forgiving and forgetting then? You think we shouldn’t forgive and we shouldn’t forget?” 

“No, I’m not saying that, and I’m not saying that you’re wrong either because I don’t think we should hold grudges,” you said slowly. “But maybe you can forgive and accept, but you can’t forget, so you can be able to learn and overcome obstacles like that to be a better version of oneself.  Does that make sense?” 

Ji-Ho scoffed, but this time, she smiled at you and looked at you with interest in her eyes. “What is your name again?” 

“Y/N.” 

“It’s nice to meet you.” She released a laugh, which startled Jin. “I think we’re going to get along perfectly fine.” 

Ji-Ho did open up to you right away, talking about her interests and asking all about you as if she wanted to know every single detail. She was a lot like Taehyung, and you realized they truly were a perfect match for each other. They were both kind, observant and funny without even trying. 

After twenty minutes, Seo-yeon and Su-ji arrived at the same time. Su-ji immediately went into the kitchen with some grocery bags as Seo-yeon took a seat next to Ji-Ho, smiling. 

“Hi, how are you?” She asked, not giving you anytime to think or respond before talking again. “We heard so many great things about you, and I am so happy for Jungkook. It’s about time he finally found someone and that we’re able to meet her.” 

Not knowing what to say, you laughed as your cheeks reddened. You weren’t really good at accepting compliments, but a part of you felt happy, knowing Jungkook was surrounded by people who loved him and wanted what was best for him.

“I got a charcuterie board for all of us,” Su-ji said out of breath, coming out of the kitchen. She placed the large plate on the coffee table in front of everyone and took a seat in between the other wives. “Hi, Y/N.” 

Most of the dinner went well. It was basically like an interview where they were trying to see your strengths and weaknesses, but you still felt comfortable with them, talking to them.

“Can we see pictures of you and Jungkook?” Ji-Ho asked. You unlocked your phone and passed it to Jin’s wife as she sat in the middle and could show them. “It really sounds like you two are both happy and comfortable with each other.” 

“It was really nice to meet you all,” you said as most of the plate was gone. 

“You don’t have to lie to them,” Jin joked. “I know my presence is enough for you to enjoy.” 

“No, I do mean it,” you reassured them just in case they didn’t take you seriously. “Jungkook talks about Jules and his support system all the time, and it warms my heart that you guys were there for both of them when they were struggling especially after their loss.” 

“Oh?” The look of displacement was written all over Su-ji’s face. “You know about Sarah?” 

“Yes,” you answered. “Is that a problem?”

“If you want me to be honest, I never thought Jungkook would see anyone after Sarah’s passing,” Jin’s wife absentmindedly said, thinking it was a compliment. In the corner of your eye, you can tell Jin was giving her a warning glare as if he didn’t want her to say anything else to you.

“Excuse me?” If she was trying to make you feel better about yourself, she was surely doing the opposite, but you hardened your face, so she couldn’t see that her words affected you. You knew that’s what she wanted, for you to be hurt. She wanted a reaction out of you, and you weren’t going to give her the satisfaction of getting it. 

“You know, Y/N, from the way you talked about it, your relationship with Jungkook reminds me of Sarah and Jungkook’s relationship,” Su-ji said once she saw the picture Jules took of you and Jungkook laying down, cuddling in the blanket fort during New Years. 

Although hearing the name of Jules’s mother made your heart drop, you kept your poker face on and continued to act like everything was okay. With confidence, you raised your eyebrows. “I’m not sure what that means.” 

“Jin and I actually grew up with Sarah and Jungkook. We always went on lunch dates together while we were still in school,” Su-ji explained with a murderous smile on her face. “Kook’s a romantic, isn’t he? Opening the doors, cooking home-cooked meal, giving his jacket when it’s cold, and writing songs and poems weekly? He did that all the time for girls when we were younger. He did that for Sarah too.” 

Your face softened at what Su-ji listed. They were all things he had never done for you, and you couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing. Did he want to do something new and fresh with you? Or did he just not put in effort and care? 

Most of it wasn’t a big deal. There was nothing wrong with opening the door yourself and being prepared for cold weather. You could have easily just asked Jungkook for a piece of his clothing if you had wanted to. But the thing that bothered you the most was in a span of months, Jungkook has never written anything for you.

He was a songwriter, but somehow, he didn’t have any words for you. 

You knew Su-ji was hurting your pride on purpose, but for some reason, you let her continue and listened to every word she had to say. She stared at the pictures on your phone. “The way he looks at you is almost identical to the way he looked at Sarah.” 

“Su-ji...” Jin warned. “Stop now.”

"It’s almost as if you were Sarah.” Her sharp words cut like a knife. If it weren’t your phone that started ringing in her hands, you would have cried on the spot. You felt a little better seeing Jungkook’s name on your screen. “Oh speak of the devil.”

“Why don’t we call it a night? I’m sure Y/N needs some rest.” Jin suggested as you stared at your phone. “How about you girls go clean, I’ll go get the kids, and Y/N, stays here to talk to Jungkook?” 

The girls, one by one, got up from the couch with their plates, heading towards the direction of the kitchen. As they left, each one of them gave you a look. Jin’s wife gave you a look of resentment, Jimin’s wife gave you a look of pity, and Tae’s wife gave you a look of worry.

You slid your thumb on the screen and answered Jungkook’s call. “Hey. What’s up?” 

“How are you, darling?” His honey voice made you want to cry. All you wanted was to cry your heart out and have his voice and touch comfort you, but he was the reason why you wanted to cry. “Doing okay?” 

“Yeah, the dinner went terrific. I really liked tonight,” you lied, trying not to let your voice crack. “I’m actually not feeling so well, so I’m leaving early with Jules in like five minutes.” 

“Are you sure you’re okay? It sounds like you want to cry?” He could read you so easily. “Is something wrong? If something is wrong, I can take the next flight and be back with you as soon-” 

“Everything is fine. Jules and I are fine.” Lie once again. “Please don’t worry.” 

Jules came down the stairs, holding hands with Jin. She ran towards you with a smile on your face, cheering you up a little bit. “Is that Jungkook?” 

“Do you want to talk to him?” You asked, and she shook her head. “Kook, I’m going to help Jules get ready to go home, and I’ll call you back once we’re there. Is that alright?”

“Yeah, of course. Drive home safely, okay? I miss you.” 

“I’ll talk to you later.” You hung up the phone. 

Jules put her arms out once she saw you grab her red winter coat from the armchair. As you helped her put her jacket on, you hear distant arguing. 

“What were you thinking, Su-ji?! You had no right to do that! That behavior was unacceptable and immature of you.” Jin whispered as he scolded her. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Talking about Sarah and Jungkook like that! Making Y/N feel bad when she did absolutely nothing to you. He paused. “Sarah might have been your best friend, but she would have been extremely disappointed in how you treated Jungkook’s girlfriend.”

“I don’t need a lecture from you, Jin,” Su-ji snapped. “I personally do not think I do anything wrong!”

“I wouldn’t even be having one if you had behaved like an adult!” He argued back. “Even Ji-Ho didn’t say anything degrading about her. She actually liked Y/N and she usually hates everybody at first.”

 “Don’t you think she deserved to know? All I did was tell her the truth!”

“You didn’t help her!” Helping Jules put her black hat on, you tried to listen to more of their conversation. “You’re unbelievable. I am furious with you.” 

“Sleep on the couch then if you just want to defend her instead of me.”

“If something happens between them because of this, I will never forgive you.” 

It doesn’t take long for Jin to come back to the living room with a forced smile on his face. He went closer to where you and Jules were at, bent down, grabbed the white gloves and helped Jules put them on her hands.

“Jules, honey, aren’t you going to say bye to your favorite Uncle Jin?” You asked. “Thank him too.” 

“Thank you Uncle Jinnie for the food and hugs.” She wrapped her arms around him, instantly, making him smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sweetie.” He let go of Jules and stood up, making eye contact with you as you put your jacket on. “I’ll walk you out.” 

____

[seokjin]

i want to apologize for su-ji’s behavior. i should have stopped her, and i am sorry. you didn’t deserve that. i know you’re going to tell me that it’s okay, but save it. it really was not okay

you know what su-ji said isn’t true right? 

jungkook only loved sarah as a sister

he didn’t love her like he loves you

i promise

It took you a while to respond to Jin’s text. You wanted to believe his words because he knew Jungkook better than anyone, but his wife’s words kept repeating in your head. 

It’s almost as if you’re Sarah.

did he tell you that? 

that he loved me differently than sarah? 

He didn’t respond, and what you’ve learned in the past is that sometimes no answer is an answer.

___

"Why do you like me?” Jungkook was coming back tomorrow, and before his flight, you called him randomly. “Why me? Out of all people? I’m nothing special.” 

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook asked. “Don’t say things like that. That’s not true.” 

“I mean, come on, when you got to know me, I didn’t have a rough upbringing or had a special talent that made me stand out from others. I was just an ordinary person with parents and a few friends.” 

As you waited for an answer, you opened your laptop and went onto a social networking website. Sighing, you looked up the one person that was on your mind lately ever since the dinner at Jin’s. 

“You talk about how I’m so passionate about my dream and how I’m so amazing for growing up and taking care of Jules, but I think about you like that.” 

“How so?” You breathed out, barely audible. 

“Like I know it’s your job to take care of the kids and to make sure everyone is learning, but you take the time to connect with others and strive to make everything better is amazing.” 

Sarah’s profile finally loaded onto your screen. Her profile picture was her and Jules, smiling on a park bench. Scrolling down, almost all her public and tagged pictures were with Su-ji and Jin’s family, celebrating almost every little occasion together. “Really?”

“And I know you want to take care of everyone and you’re okay with being by yourself, but I hope you know that there are people in the world who do care about you and will care about you.” His comforting words made you want to cry. “I care about you.” 

Before you could say anything, the last picture you stumbled across on was a picture of Sarah and Jungkook together at her graduation. Sarah was wearing her cap and gown, holding a bouquet of roses in her hand. She had the biggest smile on her face as she looked up at Jungkook, who was in the middle of laughing. Although this picture of old, Jungkook almost looked the same and had the same features. The only difference was that he never looked quite as happy with you.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked, bringing you back to reality. “What’s up?

Clearing your throat, you answered, “Yeah. I just was thinking.”

“I also love everything about you, you know? I love how you have a different, but such an understanding perspective about literally anything,” he said. “You’re special.”

“I hope so.”

“I’m going to sleep now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” You hung up the phone without saying anything, still staring at the picture of Jungkook and Sarah.

“What are you doing?” A gasp came out of your mouth as you shut the laptop lid as quickly as you could and turned your head to see Jules behind you. The look of confusion was all over her face along with heartache. “Why were you looking at pictures of my mom?” 

“I’m not!” You denied, putting the laptop onto the table. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“You were.” She ignored your question, wanting actual answers. “I saw you.” 

She took a seat next to you, looked at your for a long time and looked down at her fingers in her lap. “I know it’s been a long time, but I know what my mom looks like, and I know you were looking at her.”

“Honey-” Jules ran up the stairs, not hearing your explanation or excuse. 

__

“I missed you so much.” The moment Jungkook saw you in the airport, he ran as fast as he could with his silver carry on suitcase, wrapping his arms around you. It was the tightest hug you’ve ever received, and you never wanted to let go. “I missed Jules too, but I really missed you.” 

He pulled away and saw the tiny red bag in your left hand. “I got you a gift for White Day.” 

“You didn’t have to.” Wrapping his arm around your shoulder, you two walked slowly towards the exit. “Is this really for White Day?” 

“What else would it be for?” 

“A gift for being insecure?” 

You stopped in your tracks, and he took it as a sign to let go of you. “What?” 

“Well, I don’t know what to think when you asked me things I liked about you, and then Jules telling me you were looking up Sarah.” Not wanting to meet his stare, you continued looking down at the ground at your feet. Once you looked back up, he saw the guilt in your eyes. He scoffed and rubbed under his nose in disbelief, taking your silence as his answer. His tone of voice changed. “I can’t believe you.”

“Why does it bother you, Jungkook? Maybe I was just curious. Is that so wrong?” 

“Except you weren’t! You and I both know that!” His voice grew louder with each word he said. It was the first time he was raising his voice at you, and it was a surprise. He was always the one who always kept calm in the most heated situations. “I told you everything about Sarah.” 

“Not the fact that she was head over heels for you!” You cried.

“Oh my god. Is this what this is about? You wanted to see if Sarah was in love with me?” He shook his head. This wasn’t the Jungkook you knew; he was acting different. “Who even told you that?”

“Does it really matter?” You stared at him. “I was bound to find out sooner or later.”

He shook his head. “No one looks pictures of dead strangers unless they want to know something.” 

“Fine! I just wanted to know if what the girls said was true. They said that you two were madly in love. They said I was practically a replacement for Sarah.  I just had to find out if it was true.” You paused when Jungkook looked away, not wanting to look at you. Not only that, but you noticed there were tears that were about to fall from his eyes. “She was beautiful and looked so happy with you. You looked happy with her too.” 

Silence.

“Seokjin told me that you didn’t love her.” 

Silence. 

“Is that true?”

Silence once again. 

“Jungkook, I can’t compete with her.” 

He finally looked back at you and grabbed your hands. “I’m not asking you to.” 

“I can’t do this,” you cried, pulling away. “I want to be with you and want you to want me because you love me. Not because I remind you of the girl who isn’t here anymore.”

“Don’t do this,” he whispered. “Don’t say that.” 

“Do you realize how badly it hurt when they told me that?” Sobbing, you covered your mouth holding back any ugly sounds you were going to produce. “I was humiliated and felt like I would never measure up.” 

“You are more than good enough.” 

“What am I supposed to think when they told me that?” 

“Believe me and Seokjin when I say that I have feelings for you.” You knew he was trying to comfort you, but you noticed that he didn’t straight out admit that he didn’t have feelings for Sarah. 

“You’ve never written me a song,” The color drained out of his face as he heard your voice crack; you got your answer. There were tears falling down your face, but he didn’t wipe them like he always did when you cried after watching sad movies. “You have never written me anything.”

He let go of your hands. 

You walked away, and he didn’t even come after you. __ 

lowkey not proofread but i really just want to continue this hehe thanks for reading

[michaelsheenpt]

Prodigal Son star Michael Sheen on the 'absolute joy' Martin takes in the Claremont murder

The actor takes us inside the mind of a serial killer.                

Warning: This article contains spoilers for Prodigal Son season 2, episode 4, "Take Your Father to Work Day."

The titular offspring on Prodigal Son had plenty of time to bond with his serial killer father on this week's episode of the Fox procedural.

When a murder took place right under Martin "The Surgeon" Whitly's (Michael Sheen) nose, his son, Malcolm (Tom Payne), and the NYPD crew were brought in to help solve the crime — and as you can imagine, Martin was just delighted at the prospect of quality time with his boy.

Of course, Ainsley (Halston Sage) wanted to tag along to see if there was a newsworthy story to uncover, but once she started remembering more about what happened the night of Endicott's (Dermot Mulroney) death, she turned to her father for answers about what was going on. To make the family reunion complete, Jessica (Bellamy Young) also found herself calling her murderous ex for some insight into their children's minds.

With all the drama taking place inside Claremont, the prison where Martin is incarcerated, the episode allowed for a lot more time spent with Sheen's bafflingly charming serial killer. We chatted with the actor about getting inside a murder's mind and what's to come for the Whitly family in the show's second season.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: In this episode, the team is in Martin's territory. Is this the most screen time you've had in this series so far?

MICHAEL SHEEN: It's a funny, the thing about the way we shoot the show, and particularly the way we shoot my stuff, we now shoot multiple episodes at the same time. I can sometimes find it quite difficult to remember what's in each episode. But this particular episode was a very, very different field for me. My experience of working on this show has been a kind of opening up as it's gone on. There were actors in the core cast that I hadn't even met, let alone worked with, when we got to the end of the first season. I didn't get to do a scene with Aurora [Perrineau] or Frank [Harts] or Keiko [Agena] until really late in the first season. I would just do scenes with whoever walked into my cell, unless it was a flashback, and then it'd still be with people within the family. So things have opened up more and more as it's gone along. So in this episode, the fact that the investigation comes into Claremont opened it up again, and of course for Martin that is just absolute joy.

Right, it's safe to say Martin is having a lovely time throughout most of this episode.

Yes, because they're all coming into his world and I meet Edrisa [Agena], and Gil [Lou Diamond Phillips] has to come in, and my kids come in! I'm working with my own son on a case in my prison. Martin's just in heaven. It was very enjoyable to do because I got to work with people I haven't worked with before and work with the same people in different ways. I got to play basketball, for instance.

Yeah, you got some outdoor time!

It's funny because Martin would love having outdoor time. Michael doesn't love it that much because it's quite cold. I quite enjoy being in my cell with my cardigan on.

One of the people Martin gets some quality time with in this episode is his daughter, Ainsley. How much do you think he's enjoying this newly discovered murderous streak in her? Or is he more interested in just spending time with her regardless of the reason?

I think it's a lot of things for him. There's a real delight in seeing this flower that has grown in the dark. Malcolm is the flower that has grown in the light, and that he has watered and fed as much as he possibly can to try and bring to bloom. She's this extraordinary flower that is actually grown in the dark, without him feeding it at all. There's a special delight to that. For all of Malcolm's experiences that are on the edge of murderous and psychotic and violent, he's never quite tipped into just pure murder, and Ainsley has, whether she's aware of it or not. That creates a special connection for Martin.

That's kind of terrifying.

Yes, it is terrifying. For Martin — and I always try to see it from Martin's point of view — it's both the opportunity to feel known in a different way because somebody else has experienced the thing that he experiences, and it's also an opportunity to feel connected and bonded to someone. It's the same way as a couple of episodes ago, where there was that scene where Malcolm talks to Martin about what it feels to walk around having got away with murder, and that the scary thing is that it didn't feel bad and all that. Martin can now talk about those things that have been such a part of his secret life with someone who's also experiencing aspects of that. That's even more so with Ainsley, because the part that Malcolm hasn't done is to actually feel the liberation of murder, and Ainsley potentially has.

Well, so as not to play favorites, Martin also had a couple of really intense scenes with Malcolm. How much do you think Martin resents Malcolm deep down for sending him to prison? Is that something we're going to get to explore more?

Yeah, I think so. The version of Martin that he allows people to see is such a tiny portion of him. It has an oversized place in the world because it's how he interacts with the world. Even before he was put in prison — when he was still actively pursuing his addiction to killing — the reason he was so good at it was because he was able to develop a persona that put people at ease, that made people like him and not suspect what he was doing. That is a construct he has created. What is actually going on for him is very different. We just don't see that very much because it works for him for people not to see it. But for someone who is so obsessed with control and needs control, there are moments where he loses it and we do see something else. We get a sense of what's really under there. I think there are currents within him that even he only vaguely understands. There are times when stuff comes out that he has decided to let come out, but there are times when stuff comes out that he hasn't decided to come out. In that moment in the cell with Malcolm, something comes out that he's not even aware of. I think he really does have the capacity to feel strong, positive emotions towards Malcolm, but I think he also has massively negative emotions towards Malcolm, because Malcolm is the one who ultimately — as far as he sees it, anyway — took away his control. There is huge oceans of rage in Martin.

It's so great when you're watching it because you can find yourself siding with him and believing he could be a good dad.

Yes, because it's in his interest for people to not think that he's a monster. It works great for the show because the more I hear and read people saying, "Oh, I can't believe I really like the serial killer," I'm like, "That's right. That's how it works." You use what will work for you. There were people who had crushes on Ted Bundy. Use what you've got. Martin uses that and it works very well for him, and it still does in prison.

Do you know a lot more about Martin's past than we've learned on the show so far? Have the writers filled in some of those years of serial killing for you?

We've had conversations about that, and we've got lots of different ideas of things that we could explore. It sort of depends on what the big picture is for the show and what is useful to go into and what's not. A lot of the time it's quite useful for people to not know his past. We know more about him than the audience does, and as to how much we reveal about that — who knows… We'll see.

We'll still be finding out about people he's killed come season 10. So Martin and Jessica also had a cute — but not really cute at all — co-parenting moment in this episode. Is there anything you can tease about what's to come between them this season?

In a way, that's the motor of the show, isn't it? That you've got a family where there's one member that everyone would really rather not have to deal with, but they have to. Jessica is never going to be free of Martin. At the same time, you also don't want to overplay that, so when the moments come between them they're able to have zing to them. I think that that scene between them says so much about the relationship, particularly from Martin's point of view, that he's able to lie so easily to her. He takes a real pleasure in knowing how much she's been duped by him and shocked by him and how much she doesn't know about him. Having spent years and years deceiving her, she now knows who he is and he's still able to deceive her. There's a very special enjoyment in that for him, which is very dark. There's also a real rivalry between them, a parental rivalry. When he has something that connects him to them that she doesn't have, whether that's a piece of information or a connection, both of those things delight him in different ways.

Eek, poor Jessica. Speaking of women in his life, Catherine Zeta-Jones is joining the show soon. Can you tell us anything about her character and how she'll affect Martin?

I think what will be enjoyable for an audience is not knowing what's going on at any given point. What I will say is that it puts Martin into new territory and therefore the audience will be in completely new territory, in terms of what they're seeing Martin doing and how he's reacting to things — and that's really exciting.

Prodigal Son airs Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Fox.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

SOURCE

[chemicallady]

Science and Vision

Part I

A/N: let's start something completely new! Hope you'll like the idea. I dont know how many parts I'll write. Let's see what happens togheter.

Once, Greg said that he has to choice between science or 'something else'. And he chose science. What it someone we is going to bump into is thinking otherwise.

I'm also using the characters of Frank Diners, introduced in episode 13x02! A couple of years before those (terrible) event.

Important: this parts are dreams

Couple: Greg Sanders/Female!Reader

Category: Romantic, Supernatural, Phychic, a little of angst of course.

Content Warning: mention to cases in which is involved a kidnap and a murder. Csi classical stuff.

Summary:  Reader is a powerful psychic, as her grandmother. Unfortunately, this gift doesn't help her in paying the rent, but as his mom always says 'anything happen without a reason'.

Reader starts to believe that when a series of drammatic nightmares start to keep you company during the night. And the subject is always the same, like a video, replied over and over again....

*****

Las Vegas, December 5th 2010

《Sorry Vincent! I'm late!》

You make your entrance at your work place - Frank's Diner- and you notice both officers Akers and Mitchell laught softly at you from their position at the bench.

《Traffic is tremendous tonight》, you try to explain yourself, keeping your apron and put it on. Your boss is in the kitchen, so he doesn't notice your delay. Owen, his brother, grinns from the front desk, like he doesn't mind at all. Picking a pen and your notebook, you look at the two officers with a charming smile. 《What can I serve to you, gentlemen?》

Andy orders the usual coffee with bacon and eggs, even if is like three in the morning. The bell on the door rings again and four people are now coming into. The last one, the guy who is talking with Owen, is the one who always caught your attention. Greg Sanders, CSI, hot material. He is also funny and interesting.

A total match.

But probably too smart to notice a waitress. Little does he know that you have a master degree. You are the new one in here and most of the clients are cops. Cops never ask too much and if the do, well.... it's an interview.

《Ei (y/n)》 , sayis a man, smiling at you with his usual kindness. 《Are you on shift tonight? Isn't this your day off?》

《What can I say, Nicky?》, is your answer, keeping a pitcher full of hot coffee. You fill a cup for him while you are still speaking. 《I need some extra money. I have some problems with my car, actually...》

《Again?》 Sara asks you, keeping the mug you're offering to her. 《Maybe is time to change that tin can.》

Akers captures your attentions with a joke. 《Maybe that's why you're always late!》

You start to pretend to be offended, putting and hand on your chest. Greg laughs and answers for you. 《It's a '69 Chevy Chevelle, Sara. (Y/n) cant just throw that piece of history away.》

《Thanks Sanders, you truly are a man of culture》 , you says, bright smile and a little wink, while Edie grinns next to you. 《That car is a part of me》

《The oldest one, I presume》 , Catherine tosses at you, 《Sorry to bother your discussion about ancient veichles but we are on a case and we need some fuel to work. Can we order now, (y/n)? You are in front 9f a group of hungry forensics. 》

《Of couse you can!》 Vincent appears somewhere next to you. 《Edie will keep your orders guys! (Y/n) has a big mouth ... hasn't she?》

Everyone laugh while you blush a little, biting your tongue to avoid a rude tense. Dahlia comes to the bench, asking for her usual milkshake that you are more than happy to prepare for her. Just to hide how much you are embarrassed. The CSI stay for almost 30 minutes and you cant help yourself but searching for Greg's gaze. He gives you some in return, but the two of you don't speak till it's time to say goodnight.

《Which one?》, Dahlia asks you, while you are still pointing the door with both your eyes, as you are waiting him to come back and ask you out one of those days.

《Don't know what are you talking about》, is you flat answer while the realisation that he is gone again without your number arrives.

《Stokes or Sanders?》, the blonde ask again. Edie smiles, clearly enjoyed by the situation. You know that she is only happy to have a co worker but also too shy to ask first. There is Dahlia for this.

You sigh, 《Am I so obvious?》

《You look so helpless, baby girl》, Dahlia continues, playing with her long amazing hair. 《You didn't answer sweety.》

You have your back on a corner. Once a Marines, always a Marine and Dahlia is proving this theory to you right now. So you decide to let it go. 《The cutest...》

Edie keeps the dirty mugs, smiling even brighter. 《So Sanders》

《We need to arrange a date》, is the last statement from Dahlia, before she goes on Owen to pay. She lefts 5 bucks as a tip, and a malicious smile. 《Because if we have to wait the both of you, guys.... nights in Vegas are long, but not that much!》

◇◇◇◇◇◇

The crowd is melting in front of your eyes. All that is matter right now is him.

His eyes on the road, is smile....

The sound of the music is far away from you and you can enjoy the sweet sound of his voice.

The place is dark and quiet and you feel safe with him.

He is your only hope.

Your courage....

No one have never understood you like he can. You two meant to each other.

So why is he so mad at you?

And then the pain arrives.

Is impossible to handle it.

Your hands are painted in crimson and you are loosing your balance...

....The room is so cold.

The silence is heavier than you think.

And the Emptiness is swallowing you all, piece to piece, slowly....

◇◇◇◇◇

Here we go again. Another shift, beyond the bench with an headache caused by lack of sleep. It's the same old story since.... you can recall.

You've started to have this nightmare almost two weeks ago, when you moved to Vegas. It's funny, you run away from ghosts just to bump into new ones.

But this time is different. Is more...

Powerful and you are helpless because you can't just go to the doctor and tell him 'hi, I'm a psychic and my visions are too strong while I try to sleep. Can you prescribe me Valium? A family storage please.'

Everyone will change their behavior towards you if they only know...

Same old story, again.

And you are so tired to move away every time you feel uncomfortable.

Is a lonely condition because you have to keep this secret for yourself.

You are the mad one, in the end. The crazy girl who can see the 'emotions' of dead people. Their last moments. And you grow tired of being the freak.

You want to be normal.

You want to be less lonely.

《Ei (y/n). You look so pale, what's going on?》

Your eyes meet Greg's ones when you hear him speak. A tiny smile appears on your lips, while you rise your hand to keep a mug full of coffee for the agent. 《 Have you ever sperimented how awful is being tired but incapable of fell asleep?》

《Please don't tell me》, is his answer, while he is smiling at you. You can't help yourself but think that is so cute. 《Thank you for the coffee.》

《Do you want to eat something?》

《No, I'm fine (y/n). I just want to review this case. I hope I won't bother you if I stay here at the bench for a bit.》

So charming.

He would never bother you.

Another smile and then you come back to work, serving coffee and keeping orders to the abitudinary clients. Greg stays much longer than 'a bit', by the way. An hour passed and he is still there. Is almost the dawn and you are going to end your shift. You are so tired...

You will probably walk home; you are too messy to drive.

You come back to Greg and you lean against the bar, yawning in your fist. 《May I ask you about this case?》

He sighs. 《An answer for and answer.》

《Then ask, Sanders.》

He looks at you with a small grinn. 《Why you can't sleep? Did you partied all night at the Mediterranean?》

A small laught abandon you month. 《 I wish. I just had a nightmare....》 He looks sorry for you, but it's fine. 《So? The case?》

He goes through his file before he shows you a picture. You barely hear what he says next. 《A girl disappeared a couple of weeks ago. Her name is Nina Foster, a university student. She was the head cheerleader of the college's football team and she went missed since the last.... (y/n), are you ok?》

You are barely breathing now. 《Oh my God.》

《What?》 , he asks without understand what's wrong. 《Do you know her?》

《I didn't. 》 you reply. 《.... I have dreamt about her. My nightmares....》 your hand traces slowly the line of the jaw in the pic, before speak again. 《I saw her being stabbed in the belly..... I think she is dead.》

....That probably wasn't a good idea.

~ continue ~

[life-rewritten]

Manner Of D*eath Analysis: The role of Tan, Friend or Foe?

Manner of Death has been a whirlwind of emotions, and intrigues and angst in just the first three episodes. I don't know who we can trust, but the story and the clues are slowly starting to come together to give us the big picture, and that is about Jane's suspicious d*ath. From Episode 1, we have been intrigued and scared to fall for Tan; he's mysterious, attractive, some times shady, and also at times flirty and swoon-worthy. It's been a confusing time because I don't want to give my heart away to a murderer or someone who is involved with the murder of women, and I'm sure that's also what Bun is feeling, yeah Tan is gorgeous, and we all want to jump on him including Bun who can't seem to keep his wants at bay, but we must remember that so far Tan is shady? So here's an analysis focused on Tan is he friend who we should we protect and love with all our heart, or is he a foe who we shouldn't yet trust and believe in. Let's find out.

For me, Tan is a big suspect with all the clues pointing to him in episode 1-3. You could argue about the many facets of his personality shown to us so far; that indicates that there are layers to him and that's exciting because it means that he's going to be a three-dimensional character to break down and learn about. Right now I don't trust any smile, or moments with him and Bun because I'm pretty sure that secretly he has not yet even romantically thought about Bun in the way we think he has. Reason one because I don't even think he's ever thought about love or even had an experience with it; funny because he's the person who's the assumed boyfriend of our  victim Jane. However, I don't think Tan even feels emotions or is allowed to feel emotions pertaining to romance and love.

He's wearing a mask, and the mask he wears aligns to what role he's meant to play for different people;

Is he the boyfriend who is mourning and desperate to find out who did that to his girlfriend?

Is he the shareholder and teacher at the school who is obsessed with biochemistry and making students learn?

Is he the protective partner who will fight anyone from trying to steal his lover as he did for Jane when he beat up Pued?

Is he a friend to Bun who is actually determined to work with him to prove he's not the suspect and also help with the case for Jane?

Or is he actually the real monster behind the mask, is he the actual suspect of his said girlfriend; was he involved in her m*rder because he wanted her not to reveal the truth she discovered?

Is he Dam the gang/mafia second hand who has a gang of children as his followers, who's absolutely violent and scary when it comes to protecting what's theirs?

Is he righteous and just was as determined as Jane to prevent corruption from happening but then, something went awry?

These are the questions we have to ask about Tan from what we know so far from this show from episode 1-3. The way he controls all his masks and which ones he should show is scary. I feel like we haven't even gotten to see who he really is, Bun hasn't met the real him yet, right now everything that comes out of his mouth comes with a motive. The question is what that motive is? Let's analyse even further:

THE ROLES OF TAN

Tan as Jane's Boyfriend

The first sign that Tan isn't maybe who he says he is; is from watching his interaction with Bun when we're introduced to him, he's not shocked/upset at Bun for kissing him instead he's intrigued, he teases, he flirts, he hints and takes up his personal space. It's odd for someone who's meant to be devoted to their partner. Upon seeing Bun again, he smirks and enjoys his discomfort and likes the fact he makes him feel anxious. It's even more interesting when he, later on, becomes protective of Jane being dragged by Pued. Pued says it's because he's been her ex before,  it was just one of those types of scuffles, but the way Tan beats up Pued and the way he violently reacted was not just some random act of jealousy. Like all Pued did was drag Jane to speak to her, it's not okay for him to pull her the way he did like some object forcefully, but it was also weird how he just brushed of Tan beating him up as a jealousy thing.

Tan's reactions later as well to Jane's loss is weird, he immediately is unfeeling, no emotions of stress or depression at the news of his girlfriend, it's like he anticipated it and he found it bothersome to be questioned about it. First, take a look at his reaction when being interviewed in ep 1, he's tired and looks annoyed but not shaken up at the fact that someone he possibly loves committed suicide, he's colder and frustrated, and a little bit defeated. He proceeds the next day to go teach, and act like everything is normal, and he shows discomfort at people prodding into Jane's death, especially the students. Maybe he's just really cold and emotionless to when someone he loves and cherishes dies because he's used to it, but his reaction is more like someone who expected it to happen and is frustrated by people trying to make it more serious, and that's not how a boyfriend should act.

Next, he also proceeds to warn Bun to stop looking into the case, and Bun notices his distant aura. But also it's like he's moved on, he's more focused on Bun when he sees him, on teasing and flirting but he also gets irritated when Bun tries to blame him for the murder. As a boyfriend he does not seem like someone who really cared about Jane's well being he says the reason why he wants to work with Bun is to really find out who the suspect is, but truthfully it's odd when you think about how he says it, he should have said that with more of vengeful or angry way because the person took someone who he apparently is very protective of.

Tan, as Jane's boyfriend, also brings this question of his role when focusing on foreshadowing in the show. For example, the little mermaid is mentioned as a cautionary tale of a girl who died for love. Now, this could be predicting Jane's reasons for her death, and why she got entangled with the suspect of these girls or it could be a foreshadowing of the relationship brewing with Tan and Bun. (Tan falling in love in Bun and being forced to at the end choose one of them to live or d*ie the same with what happened with the original little mermaid). But we can talk about this later on.

If Jane supposedly became a victim for love then the first person to question is Tan, what connections does he have that connects to her death, why would she die for him, why would he be hiding why she d*ied, and what is his plans now that people seem determined to find out why she died. This is if Tan and Jane are in 'love', but we've found out that she was more affected by Pued, she went into massive depression before meeting Tan because of Pued, so Pued could be the reason for why she did for love. But then Tan is still in the know then for why she died, because he knows Pued has something to do with it.

This brings this question of is Jane and Tan really dating? Were they as happy in a relationship as they say they were, or is this role one of Tan's masks? My guess? Yes, it's one of his acts, he's clearly playing a protective role with her, he either was keeping an eye on her or she and he teamed together to protect her from whoever it is that is trying to murder her. So this means he is involved in this somehow because either he was part of the reason for why it happened (when he kept an eye on her for the suspect) or he was part of the reason because they both had their plans ruined when she was gone. So he knows more about why she could have been a victim.

It's interesting because her final words to him in episode 1 contradicts this fact, in fact, she tells him she'll let him know more as he worries about her state. So again this suggests he didn't know fully what she was involved in unless he pretended he didn't know and she also didn't know his actual role. See it isn't straightforward, Tan's mask as Jane's boyfriend is the role where he's not even trying the most to make it seem real, he acts more like she was a step/ job to do and then he moved on.  The worrying thing is we need to know what he was to Jane, so we also need to understand if that's his same plans for Bun. Is he doing precisely the same thing; is he wearing another mask with Bun to keep an eye on him just like he did with Jane assumingly or is he wearing another mask with Bun to protect him from Jane's suspect. It could be either, right now I'm leaning towards the latter because it's unveiled he knows the person who's sending Bun threats and he's involved in that.  Which brings me to his next role:

The teacher

Tan is interesting. We've introduced to him apart from the whole Bun kiss thing; we're introduced to him as a shareholder of the school (so he's wealthy) and a teacher for biochemistry. The students he teaches; we see are involved in this murder case, one is Nam a girl who is slowly being inducted into this mess, and the other was Nat who is already a victim of the suspect at episode 1

.

Pause, he's also teaching Sorowit who from his story we see he was beaten up by That who is part of a gang that is quite v*olent and protective over their own. Sorowit explains that That works under Dam, this violent Mafia second hand to Por (Pued's father). So Tan is very acquainted with everyone connected to this mafia and murder case. Which makes him even more suspicious because first, he's dating one of the victims, he's a teacher of a to be victim, and he's also a teacher of the other victim. It's interesting.

The reason I bring up the teacher role though is because I think it's another mask/role he's forced to play. I believe there is a lot of corruption going on in this show, with whatever Gang/Mafia organisation Tan or Pued is involved in. They are powerful enough to control the justice system, it seems like they've placed a lot of their people in places of power to hide and assimilate, Tan could also be a teacher, for this reason, being a shareholder of the school puts him in a very favourable position. Also if this Mafia is grooming kids, it makes it easier for him to control his little gang of That and others as Dam, that is if he is Dam. It's a way for him to stay undercover as whatever role he plays in the Mafia.

The kids are essential; it's That who's sending the scary threats to Bun (probably under Tan's orders) it's Nam who is the next victim showing signs of the previous murders. The kids are who are being inducted into this Mafia, and I think Jane wanted to come clean about it finally and that's why she died. She tried to hold a sense of responsibility because she discovered what was going on, and she felt guilty knowing what happened to Nat. Instead, the suspect stopped her to shut her up.

Is Tan the psychopathic, and heartless suspect trying to prevent his cover from being blown? Maybe but then that makes his other future roles as our love interest in this show, will be very angsty and sketchy. It also means we're headed for a terribly sad ending if he is. However, I don't think he is. I still stay with my opinion that this gang is like a family affair; the watch they wear is probably a sign of blood and unity, and it hints at wolfpack Alpha vibes.  We see that That is very protective of who he calls his friends, the reason why he gangs up on Sorowit is to stop him because he hurt one of his friends who lied to him that Nam was his girlfriend. That showed regret, but you could tell that with his gang loyalty is important, they don't ask questions they protect each other and get rid of what bothers their peers.

I think Tan is also part of the organisation with rules like this; he's been groomed by either family or Pued's dad to be someone unfeeling, and a protector of his group. Clearly, someone hurt Jane, and he's being forced to keep it a secret, so the group is not unveiled, so the organisation is not broken because unity comes first. I don't think he's ever had his own aspirations or goals; he's just followed the organisation rules and has a job that is probably not his own dreams/wants, a girlfriend that he was set up with to either protect or keep an eye on. Thus he has a protective role for the organisation. Like a bodyguard/ henchman he fights for them, (just like he showed he could, with Jane) and it's just like what Sorowit said about Dam if you cross him or his gang he will beat you up. I think Tan is Dam and he's a teacher as a way to keep a role undercover and also to keep an eye on the kids who work beside him.

So now we look at his other roles that he's starting to play? What other secrets is he not showing?  

The FACADES OF TAN

Pued's rival

I don't know if I've said this before, but I don't think Tan and Pued hate each other. In fact, it's even more proved to me that they are in this together, Pued goes missing in episode 3 and Tan is the last person to be with him because it's a hoax, Pued wasn't  taken, he was faking it to scare Bun and others who are trying to pry. Tan and Pued are determined to hide the truth about Jane.

This brings me to similarities Tan and Pued have with each other;

Pued and Tan both have a connection with Jane, Pued and Tan are working for the system; Pued is a prosecutor for the justice system, (this again brings up proof that his father's power or control is placing people in places of power and control).  Tan is a massive shareholder of the education system and a known teacher there. Pued and Tan both wore that watch, Bun remembers it faintly by staring at it, but the person he saw with that golden watch is also Tan if you look carefully at the flashback.

They are in the same Mafia; it's why they both look at each other suspiciously, not angrily when they walk past each other when he goes to convince Bun to drop the case. They both are working together right now to prevent Jane's truth being found. The question is, why? If they are working together, why would we see Tan beat Pued for Jane? My answer; it's a cover, it's not real, it's a show, don't know why they are doing it, but it's clearly to make people not think Tan and Pued know each other. But if Tan is Dam like I believe and Por is Pued's father, then Tan and Pued are closer than we think. Tan may even work for Pued as a bodyguard as well. Or the fight could suggest that he and Jane loved each other so much and he was planning on running away from the Mafia with her, and they didn't like that, so they stopped her, made him feel defeated and forced him to cover up the truth. I mean that also could be why, but Jane's last words weren't like that, she knew more than Tan did or she assumed she knew more than Tan did; they weren't working together on anything to do with romance and love.

If they were working together, then Tan was hired to protect her by her, and she didn't know he worked for Pued's dad. These are just speculations, but if Tan is Dam, Pued and Tan are closer than we think, and they are working together to hide Jane's truth Whatever Jane did, it was to mess up the organisation, and both Tan and Pued don't want it to be ruined, or Tan is being forced to protect the organisation's secrets. I think he's protecting the suspect so I assume the person is part of the organisation and it could be Pued, but I still think he's a red herring.

Bun's lover/friend

This is the one that keeps me on my toes. Tan does not have any feelings yet whatsoever for Bun, maybe the kiss they had, made him excited and attracted, but he definitely isn't going to Bun with those ideas. He's with Bun, making him stay with him at his, to keep an eye on him. It's either to protect him as I said from the suspect or it's to keep an eye on him and prevent him from finding out who it is. Right now from my analysis so far, I don't even think he's ever had to care for someone in that way (apart from priorities he has to protect).

I think he's playing another role with Bun, and we haven't seen him fall yet. There are moments where he smiles that I do believe is genuine, Bun makes him intrigued and smile, and want to tease him and for someone who I think hasn't ever had to think about what he wants or his emotions, I think that's a sign that he likes Bun without knowing it. I don't think he cares about Bun's welfare yet; I think he's still more focused on the job because he's the one who's sending That to scare Bun away, if he's Dam then he doesn't want Bun to interfere with his organisation. Bun is like Jane, a dangerous target, a whistleblower; someone who either needs to be stopped or eliminated. Now I don't think Tan wants to eliminate  Bun because I don't think he's evil or anything, just forced by his environment. So yes that cactus probably is bugged, his reasons for wanting Bun to stay at his house is the same, he wants to stop Bun from uncovering the truth, but it could change later to wanting to protect Bun.

I think this is why the little mermaid could be foreshadowing for them with Ariel and The prince in the original story; the mermaid has to choose either her life or the prince's life, she chooses his for love, and then ends and grow a soul. Tan is, in my opinion, is going to be forced to get rid of Bun but the more he falls for him, which hasn't happened yet, the more he'll struggle with that. I'm excited for when we get there. Tan is going to notice that Bun brings warmth to him, he's already cooking for him, and showing him he's attracted despite being cautious, I think he's going to start becoming more afraid of Bun finding the truth. The question is, will Bun find out who he is before he changes his agenda with him. Or will Tan soon realise he wants to protect Bun from the organisation with the disguise of keeping an eye on him? We'll find out. Either way, it's going be an angsty, dramatic and passionate love story. And I can't wait.

THE REAL TAN

Obligations vs Wants

As my analysis has shown I think Tan has many masks so far, this doesn't make him  the suspect but he's more in a situation where he's forced to be part of the reason why Jane was hurt. For me, I think he's never really had a chance to be good/righteous. Actually, I won't be surprised if he was inducted into the Mafia when he was a child like That. Cause it seems like that's what they do. Either that or his family is involved as well in the Mafia.

He could have been forced to protect the people he sees as family, as he's meant to as Dam, to be the protector role. He's probably always had to protect someone in the group despite being wrong like That does for his friends. I want to keep watching out for this, but I do think That and Sorowit are going to be mirroring Tan and Bun's relationship, Sorowit is innocent and naïve and That is working under the organisation with Tan as Dam. He also seems protective of people he sees as his own, and he appears hurtful and even under orders. It's the same way I view Tan.

They're like puppets for this organisation, and so even if Tan didn't kill Jane, he was either forced to hide her truth because it's a norm for him to do so without feeling with everyone. She was just a problem to the organisation, and his love for her didn't matter, or he never even saw her as someone important to him, and he was just playing a role. Now that role is over, he doesn't need to act like he cares about her, and he needs to move to the next part which is to do the same thing all over again with Bun. It makes it a more delicious plotline when he falls for Bun, and he has to try now and protect something he wants for himself. Bun is going to be a surprise, instead of following orders, and rules, he's going to find himself falling on love and wanting to stay with him.

Masks vs Smiles

Which brings us to this question. Have we even seen the real Tan? Have we seen Tan when he's not under the organisation or doing his roles? I think we've seen small snippets of him, moments like when he accepts the kiss from Bun surprisingly showing he liked it, or moments where he smiles when Bun says something about Jane, he notices Bun is a good person, but Tan can't be trusted right now. He's always probably had to wear a mask, slowly we'll see his real self uncovered soon, his genuine smiles, and who he actually wants to be. But for now, I think he's still playing a role with Bun. We'll soon start to see his mask uncover because we see him interact with That at the end of episode 3. We'll finally maybe see what's been going on with him.

Attraction vs Confusion This makes it even scarier for Bun for now, because Tan's intentions aren't pure. Bun is very attracted to Tan, and he finds him self forgetting that he shouldn't trust him, so he's going to be very blindsided by the truth, I wonder if he'll soon find out Tan is Dam, if he'll find out Tan is secretly sending threats for him to stop, but it's worrying though romantic when he asks Tan to sleep on the bed with him, he agrees to stay over at his house, he decides to work with Tan to find Jane's murderer. But he'll be fine like I said, Tan is not a crazy psychopathic , he's not the suspect he's the protector or connected to the person, but the more time shifts he'll switch and change his roles, he'll become protective of Bun no matter what. Let's hope we still get a happy ending after all this angst.

Let me know what your theories are with Tan. Do you think he's a friend or a foe? I just want to say Max is so brilliant as this character; he's so good at showing nuances and moments when Tan's mask shifts, it's been fun and exhilarating to see him play this role. And as for the plot if my theory is right, then Tan and Bun are going to be very angsty, passionate and Romeo and Juliet esque. We've had many stories where someone from the wrong group falls for someone who could be their downfall (little mermaid for example), where you have to betray someone, where you have to lie and hide who you are as you fall for someone. This is a really great plot and a love story to see unfold. It'll be crazy, dramatic but it'll be so fun and so romantic at the same time. Perhaps it'll even make us cry.

Either way, I'm enjoying manner of death, it's nice to piece together slowly the mystery, for now, there is definitely corruption of the justice system, so the police is not meant to be trusted, students are being pulled into this mess, and there are secrets about dr*ugs and s*x and money that still needs to be uncovered. Why are these girls willingly being d*rugged for the money? Was Jane involved in this was she also in dire need of money? Or was she connected to someone with who she found out what was going on overall? Is Tan a right person or a wrong person is he being forced to be harmful, or is he a red herring, and we're all falling for someone who is the villain?  Let me know what you think. Thank you.

[charliehops]

moon & stars / charlie & owen

The buzz of Charlie’s phone was the first thing that pulled her out of her deep concentration. It was her mother asking if she was planning on coming home tonight. Charlie blinked once in mild confusion. How unlike her mother to show concern on her whereabouts? Maybe she had even heard in the village rumour mill that she and Owen were over?

It wasn’t even that late for Charlie – 10 pm? Normally when she was working late on something relating to the newspaper, she would do it at home, but she wanted to make a point to the senior editor that she was working until late and get those extra brownie points. After getting that exclusive interview with Rory and having her own intel on the case, she assumed she would be given extra responsibility. And she was, but nothing relating to the case. She was currently helping with an article about the upcoming local charity bake off. She could barely contain her excitement over it, but she knew her luck would turn as soon as she started to investigate JJ more. She would be writing front page articles before the month was out.

She stayed a further thirty minutes before finally turning her desk lamp off and left the small newspaper office. As she was locking up, she heard a loud rustle behind her and despite herself, gasped and looked for the source of the sound. The lighting was poor and considering there was a murderer walking around (even if it was someone as pathetic as JJ) she should be alert. Satisfied nothing was there; she turned back to locking up, but heard a noise again the other side of her.

“Owen, fuck!” She yelled in pure annoyance, as he emerged from the shadows. She breathed deeply, trying to compose herself in front of her ex-boyfriend.

“I wasn’t actually trying to scare you.” He stated, not moving much closer to her.

“Are you sure you’re not just punishing me for the breakup?” She asked, finishing locking up and taking the steps down to his level. She raised a careful eyebrow at him. “Were you out here waiting for me to leave? Some people would describe that as stalking.”

Owen looked at her for a long moment before saying what he needed to say. It was funny that she still spoke to him as she did before, but now it felt so different. It felt like they were strangers with telepathic abilities, because he still knew how her mind worked.

“I know about the flowers.”

Charlie folded her arms. It had been obvious, of course, that he would see the flowers too and so she had been careful to pick flowers he would know came from her.

“What flowers?” The soft smirk on her face was reflected on Owen’s.

It was a soft suggestion that she knew she was in the wrong.

A suggestion that she knew it was a nice thing for someone like her to do.

A suggestion that she gave her permission for Owen and Amelia to be together.

A suggestion that she didn’t want to talk about it.

And Owen got all of that.

“Well, thanks.” He shrugged. She nodded with a smile that wasn’t really a smile. “I need to ask about JJ though…”

“What has JJ got to do with flowers?”

Owen pushed past her attempt of a joke or playing dumb.

“You’re going to go after him now, aren’t you?”

Charlie didn’t know if he just knew her that well that he always knew she hated him or that she would use this for her own power or maybe that stupid conversation with Jane was biting her on the arse, but whatever the reason, she knew she should be more scared of Owen now that they weren’t together. So she shook her head.

“Come on, Hopper, you have that -,”

“Since when do you call me Hopper?”

For the first time that evening, he looked at her in the way he used to when he was full of frustration for her. He got a little closer to her and she held her a breath just a little.

“You were included in all those talks about JJ, because we trusted you. Just because we’re not together it doesn’t mean you get to turn your back on that trust, right?”

He was trying to scare her, but she wasn’t going to let him see her sweat.

“And I was your alibi, because I trusted you. I wouldn’t go back on that now.”

Owen twisted his face in confusion, but Charlie stayed steady.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I wouldn’t change my alibi now. I wouldn’t say you tampered with my security footage. I wouldn’t say any of that and that’s all I owe you.” She stood as tall as she could next to Owen. “As for JJ, I don’t owe him shit.”

Owen stayed in her face for a beat, before retreating backwards. He would always choose himself over JJ and that’s what Charlie counted on. She wasn’t something he could threaten anymore. He turned away and she guessed this is what their relationship was now, no hello, no goodbye, just strangers passing in the night.

“I was surprised not to hear the gossip of you and Amelia being an item?”

He stopped walking and slowly turned around. She had to stop herself from reacting to the fact that his face was suddenly soft. It seemed even the sound of her name made him soft. The sound of nobody’s name made her soft and she envied him for a second. Just a second. But it was long enough to scare her.

“We’re not…” He shook his head. “That’s not happening.”

Charlie snorted.

“Sorry, I… I ended it because you liked -,” She stopped herself, suddenly learning the art of empathy. “Did she not want to?”

He shook his head again and again.

“She did, I just… with everything she’s been through, I don’t think I’m the solution.”

“Yes, but,” She paused, taking two steps closer to him, so she was stood directly in front of him. “Nobody is really the solution for anyone’s suffering. Your suffering in life could be a little less by opening up to this weird vulnerability you have for her though. I don’t think you’re that evil that you don’t deserve the light. You want her, she wants you – it’s pretty simple, don’t you think?”

There was a silence after the words were said. They both hadn’t expected Charlie to ever speak with such confidence on the subject of love and that scared both of them a little bit. Amelia might be the thing that makes Owen soft, but Charlie just helping someone had made her soft. Maybe she was nothing but goo in the middle of her cold body.

“I’m just waiting for the punchline.” Owen said after the words had sunk in. Charlie rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue.

“Just stop being a fucking martyr and do what you both want to do anyway.”

“Okay, okay, fuck, I guess I’m taking love advice from you now.” Charlie narrowed her eyes at the word ‘love’ and Owen flinched, but didn’t correct himself as if not wanting to bring more attention to it. “You deserve less suffering in life as well, you know.”

“There are a lot of things I deserve, but they don’t come in the form of a pure, little doe-eyed girl.”

“Goodnight, Hopper.” He smirked, raising a hand before slinking into the darkness.

“Goodnight, Summers.”

They did get goodbyes.

She was left with the moon for company and he would get to keep the stars that they were once promised if they ever ruled the world.

[yellowocaballero]

written in 2 hours for $5

my friend: so, in your story, you say that Jon went to see a doctor who DIDN’T diagnose him with anything, despite him thinking all of his employees were trying to kill him...I will give you $5 to write this conversation

me: what’s your venmo.

under a readmore as to not traumatize Bukowski with sloppy depictions of therapy.

                Okay, that ordeal was over with. Jon hated health services. He never went to the doctor if he could help it. It was easy to avoid it, since Elias gave as little healthcare as physically possible, and Jon was of the personal opinion that he never got sick, anyway. Sickness was a state of mind, and Jon’s mind was not in that state. What was a cold but your body temporarily acting funny before going back to normal? Absolutely nothing, no matter what Martin wrung his hands and insisted about. If Jon got the flu, he threw up in the toilet and then went back to work. RIP to the influenza virus but he was different.

                Jon sat anxiously in the waiting room of the counseling clinic, struggling to recall if his mother was depressed or not.

                Like, Jon would personally be very depressed, if he had given birth to Jon. He hesitantly wrote it in, then scratched it out, then scowled at the very nuclear family centric medical history section of the patient chart, then went through the usual rigamarole of feeling self-pity over being an orphan. Finally, he settled on just writing in a big question mark in the mother and father sections. He wrote into the side that his Grandfather and two of his Uncles had schizophrenia, which had to be useful in some sort of way.

                Okay, that ordeal was over with. Jon hated health services. He never went to the doctor if he could help it. It was easy to avoid it, since Elias gave as little healthcare as physically possible, and Jon was of the personal opinion that he never got sick, anyway. Sickness was a state of mind, and Jon’s mind was not in that state. What was a cold but your body temporarily acting funny before going back to normal? Absolutely nothing, no matter what Martin wrung his hands and insisted about. If Jon got the flu, he threw up in the toilet and then went back to work. RIP to the influenza virus but he was different.

                The waiting room for the clinic wasn’t empty, even if that would have made Jon feel better. A tired looking Hispanic woman clutching her purse sat on one couch, an elderly man clutching a cane sitting in an armchair with his wife browsing a magazine beside him. Boring, banal, bothersome. Jon wasn’t like these losers. He wasn’t a weak-willed person who…accused all of his coworkers of murder plots…to the extent where one of his subordinates threatened him into going to a therapist. That hadn’t happened. To him.

                For the record, it wouldn’t have worked if Martin hadn’t been so good at disguising what a manipulative bastard he was. Jon didn’t know people could make their eyes that big. Or that people could be so talented at gathering evidence of workplace harassment, enough that even Elias would be forced to exact some sort of disciplinary action against him. Had Martin always been so terrifying? His ranking on the ‘Possibly Wants To Kill Me’ scale jumped a few notches, but was forced to drop down a few notches due to Jon admitting that someone who wanted to kill him probably wouldn’t blackmail him into therapy.

                Probably.

                He briefly detailed his diagnostic history (none), detailed his list of previous surgeries and health conditions (none, save the anemia in uni), and briefly gave a list of childhood trauma (none that anyone would believe, although he found himself hesitantly writing down ‘Foster system, parental incarceration, orphaned’, as if that was a real trauma or something instead of stuff that just happened to him that had no effect on his brain whatsoever).

                He finally got to the difficult section, the one that always tripped him up and made him sweat. He breezed through the demo questions (Black, male last time he checked, younger than he looked) but stared for an uncomfortably long time at the sexuality questions. His pen hovered over heterosexual, but his Mental Georgie (meaner than the actual Georgie) yelled at him until his pen hovered over bisexual instead. But that wasn’t quite right either, was it? Bad memories of scrolling desperately and shamefully through AVEN at 2am last year flashed through his mind, but asexual wasn’t on the list. He marked in bisexual, although he didn’t think it counted if he’d never had any…relations with male presenting people, although it didn’t quite fit.

                Under alcohol use he very proudly put none, feeling both smug and embarrassed over being smug over it. Under drug use he also was proud to put none. Then it asked for his history and, like, whatever. He hated this list. It sucked. Jon didn’t like admitting to the coke he only did three times. Or was it four? That he could remember.

                Under the ‘Have you ever been hospitalized’ question he put yes, then he remembered that they had technically diagnosed him with alcoholism and depression so he had to go back and put that down in his diagnoses, then he had to put down that he had attempted suicide a few times. Jon felt uncomfortable about nameless strangers knowing this, when he had never told anybody and had never been planning on it. It was a secret he would take to his grave, but he was telling this piece of paper, apparently. Hopefully nobody looked at this.

                Under the section for ‘why he came in’, Jon decided honestly was the best policy. He wrote down carefully, in precise letters, ‘I do not need to come in but my subordinate (who may be plotting murder against me) blackmailed me into it’. There. Honesty was the best policy.

                Finally the accursed intake form was over, Jon was able to hand it to the nurse he suddenly imagined looked very judgmental, and he was able to flip aimlessly through the three year old magazines on the glass tabletop flanking a piece of calming abstract art. He would never admit it to literally anybody in his life, but he enjoyed the voyeurism of celebrity gossip. He loved learning things about people that were supposed to be private, that nobody was supposed to know. It wasn’t a real secret if he learned it off TMZ, but it felt like one, and that was good enough. It was none of his business who was dating who or who had cheated on who, but that was part of the fun. Jon’s thirst for knowledge was absolute. But, still, nobody could ever know about this. Georgie had laughed at him for a week when she found out.

                Still, the magazine was wrong. The pop star wasn’t cheating on her boyfriend with her bodyguard. She was cheating on her boyfriend with her college roommate. Jon didn’t remember exactly where he had read it, but he knew it was true. Must have caught it on a reddit thread or something. Jon snorted. They should really polish up on their fact checking.

                After what felt like hours, but in fact was twenty-two minutes and forty seconds exactly, the nurse called Jon in. They took his height (still too tall), took his weight (ugh….), and took his blood pressure, which seemed to alarm the nurse, who asked him if he had a family history of hypertension. He just explained that his job was very high stress.

                “Ah,” the nurse said, and made a note on his clipboard.

                “The previous holder of my position was murdered,” Jon said helpfully, “and I think one of my employees did it. Either that or my boss. That, or various supernatural entities, but generally I’ve been doing a pretty good job of holding those off.”

                “That’s so interesting,” the nurse said, making another note on the clipboard.

                Then he was directed into the actual therapist’s office. Not his therapist, or at least he didn’t think so – the way they explained it to him, and the way the twenty internet sites he’d compulsively researched said it worked, was that he would get an intake with a trainee, who would then refer him to a therapist that worked for him in the building. It made sense, although very little about this entire process really did. Jon hated doctors. What were therapists, but doctors who made less sense, and did not respect science?

                The intake therapist’s office was overly calming. There was an incense diffuser in the corner, a tea station set up in another corner, and a comfortable looking couch facing a chair. There was a coffee table in the center filled with fidget toys and candy, along with some stuffed animals and other comfort items with some books, and Jon awkwardly shook the hand of the young woman who opened the door for him and sat down on the far corner of the couch.

                She introduced herself as Angela and had a bright white smile. Jon wondered if she had ever killed anybody. Her hair was glossy and black, she seemed to be Hispanic or thereabouts, and exuded a trustworthy and competent yet friendly air. Jon did not trust her.

                “So, Jon,” Angela said, once they both settled down. “I’m just going to give you a quick run-down of this process. I’ll interview you based on your intake form, we’ll come up with a case formulation, and I’ll refer you to a therapist with our clinic who can help you out. You indicated that this is your first time seeing a counselor?”

                “Uh, yes.” Jon clasped his hands, then his knees, then sat up very straight, then slouched. He now understood why the fidget toys were there. “But I really don’t want to see a therapist. I just told someone I’d come in here, so here I am. I can leave right after this.”

                “Who asked you to come in?”

                “Martin. Uh. My employee.”

                She made a note in her notebook. “Does he only know you from work?”

                “Yes.”

                “So your employees have been noticing some behavior from you at work that lead them to ask you to come?” Angela asked delicately.

                “Uh. Yeah.”

                “What kind of behavior?”

                Well, sure, make him think about it. Jon clenched his trousers a little. “I’ve been…well, according to Tim, I’ve been stalking them a bit. Which, perhaps, from a certain point of view, I’m willing to admit to. Also going through their desks. Some verbal accusations. Apparently, I’ve been difficult to work with lately.”

                Scribble scribble scribble. “What sort of accusations?”

                “Someone’s trying to kill me,” Jon said firmly. “I’m just trying to find out who. I’m exploring every option. Nobody is above suspicion. I know it seems…I know it doesn’t seem very usual, but that’s the situation.”

                “Have you talked to the police?”

                God, has he ever. “They’re willing to collaborate with me, but there’s only so much they can do,” Jon said seriously. Even if they had confidentiality, which they had explained to him as he came in, he could hardly admit to Basira doing something illegal for him. “But we are working on it together. At least some officers on the force take murder investigations seriously.”

                “Alright. If you don’t mind, I’m going to refer back to some questions that we asked you on the sheet. Just a little more detail on them.” Angela looked down at what he had to assume was a print-out of his answers on the intake questionnaire. “It says here that you have a family history of schizophrenia?”

                “Yeah,” Jon said blankly, “what does that have to do with anything?”

                She looked further down the list. “And…a history of alcoholism and drug abuse?”

                “Yes, technically.”

                “Alright.” She leaned backwards and opened a file cabinet, rifling through it before withdrawing a piece of paper and passing it to Jon. Jon hesitantly took it, scanning the paper. “Can you fill this out for me quickly, please?”

                Jon read the questions.

                Do you ever hear or see things that others cannot?

                Well, yes, Jon experienced many supernatural phenomena that others could not perceive. He checked off yes.

                Do you ever struggle to trust that what you are thinking is real?

                Frequently. He just knew his mind was being manipulated by the mysterious Watcher. Plus there was that business with Sasha. Something’s off about her.

                Do you ever get the sense that others are controlling your thoughts and emotions?

                That occurred in dozens of Statements, plus his own life. Yes.

                Do you struggle to keep up with daily living tasks?

                Tim did tell him that he didn’t shower enough…

                Do you feel that you have powers that others cannot understand or appreciate?

                Jon thought blankly of all those times that he asked people questions and they almost…had to answer. He checked yes for that too.

                Etc, etc, etc.

                Jon looked up from this test. “Are you under the impression I’m schizophrenic?”

                “I can’t make a diagnosis yet,” the therapist said delicately. “Why don’t we talk after you finish the screening.”

                Jon silently passed it back to her, after checking yes on almost everything. She scanned it quickly.

                “Hm.”

                “Look,” Jon said awkwardly, knowing that this probably looked bad, “I know that I may come off as a paranoid lunatic, but the supernatural is out there and is targeting me personally. I think I may work for it, honestly? Do you ever feel like an accountant for evil in your day to day life, or is that just me?” Jon paused a beat, and found that his hands were shaking. He was scared. Why was he scared? “I always feel something watching me. Something – something in the walls. I’m sitting at my desk, it’s late at night, and nobody’s around, but sometimes when I do my work…I feel something looking over my shoulder. It hates me. It wants to hurt me. I don’t know why I know it, I just do. Something invisible in the walls is looking at me, and nobody believes me when I say it’s there but I know it is.” He found himself speaking faster, almost as if he was begging her to understand. “When you look at a – at this couch, you know it’s there, right? How would you feel if everybody started telling you that it wasn’t there? That what your eyes and ears and body was telling you was fake? You’d feel like it was everybody else who was crazy, not you. Even if your eyes were closed, if you reached out your hand you could feel it. No matter what you might tell yourself, or what other people might tell you, it’s real. It’s there. You can’t deny it. I’m not crazy. It’s there. Something is watching me. You don’t – you don’t have to believe me. But I’m right. And you’re wrong, if you think it’s not.”

                Angela stared at him.

                Then she stood up, clutching her mobile. Jon realized for the first time that it was ringing. “I’ll be right back.”

                She left the room, holding the phone to her ear. Jon felt it was somewhat unprofessional for a therapist to walk out in the middle of a session for a phone call. Maybe it was important? Her husband was in the hospital or something? It was none of his business.

                Jon tapped his toes. Stared at the wall. There was a poster with a sloth on it that said ‘Hang In There!’. He was hanging in there, all right.

                He wondered if he was crazy. If it even mattered.

                Jon had always had nobody but himself to rely on. Well, maybe Georgie, once upon a time, but he had burned that bridge. At the end of the day, it had always been him. In that gutter where he had almost drowned in his own vomit, it had just been him.

                If he couldn’t trust his own mind, who could he trust? If even his own faculties left him, he had nothing. No friends, no family, no support. Just him. If Jon lost his mind, if he went completely crazy, then there was nobody to pick up the pieces ever again. For the first time since coming in, Jon found himself scared. Would he have to take medication? Would it make him dumb? Jon would rather be crazy then dumb.

                The door opened, and Angela returned. But there was something just a little different about her, something Jon picked up immediately. Her eyes were – almost glassy, almost not present. She had been such an attentive, active listener before, but now she seemed far away. Her gait was a little stiffer than it had been previously.

                “Bad news?” Jon breached awkwardly.

                “Nothing to worry about,” Angela smiled. But it didn’t reach her eyes. How strange. She sat back down in her chair, posture perfect and prim. “Well, I took a look at your sheet, and I have some good news for you.”

                “You – you do?” Jon asked, thrown off. Doctors never had good news for him. They always seemed to think he was a medical freak of nature who was alive only through an act of spite against god.

                “Of course. You don’t seem to have any kind of mental illness. Honestly, I just think your problem is that you’re stressed at work.”

                “I – so you don’t think I’m schizophrenic? Despite answering yes to almost every question on that test? And having family members with schizophrenia? And being a black male in my late twenties, the highest risk group?”

                “Yes.” Angela smiled prettily at him. “I think it’s just a matter of adjustment. You’re a transitionary phase in your life, Jon. You’re moving from one role to another. I think all you have to do is accept your new role in life, and your problems will sort themselves out.”

                “I – yes. Yes, of course.” It was like a huge weight had been taken off his chest. Jon felt so relieved. Nothing was wrong with him. His mind was still his own. He wasn’t crazy! “You’re right. I’m just stressed. Thank you so much, doctor. I feel a lot better about this now. I knew Martin was just overreacting.”

                “Martin’s always overreacting!” Angela laughed. She stood up from her chair, clearly signifying the interview was over despite him only being there for less than ten minutes. “Have a great day, Jon. You deserve it.”

                “Thanks, doctor. I promise I’ll work on – just calming down a bit. Wow. What a relief.” Jon stood up too, wiping his sweaty palms on his trousers before shaking her hand. “I knew I wasn’t crazy.”

                “What’s crazy,” Angela said, “but a state of mind? The world is already so bizarre and usual, Jon, it’s strangest to be sane.”

                “I – okay?”

                Jon left the doctor’s appointment feeling very good about everything. Maybe the doctor’s had been a good idea. He would have to thank Martin.

                Wow. Now that was a crazy thought. Thanking Martin! Hah!

                Jon went home, feeling very good about his life and his trajectory in it.

                For the very last time.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Dancing Lessons

Barry Berkman x reader

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, guns, cheating, drinking.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● 

Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Part 8

NoHo Hank was already in they warehouse that the other bald man drive him to, he looked a hit more pale than usual, but he still had a bright smile on his face, and if it was possible it grew even more once he saw him enter the building.

"Oh Barry, I thought Anzor will have to bring you by force here" He said and as always having an exaggerated hospitality considering the large weapons his men were carrying and the desolate place they were in, and specially since Anzor had already tied his hands together an sit him on a chair in front of Hank "Well I'm sure Fuches told you, we had an offer for you, and I want to be clear, I am more than willing to negotiate, but Batir is more of a "Do it or else" kind of guy, so what do you expect from this little exchange?" He said like this was a normal job interview, and maybe his annoying attitude made him came out of the trance and realize this was a bad idea.

"I won't kill for you anymore Hank" He said, but the pale man ignored him, or pretend he didn't listen "I came here because Fuches ask me too, but I'm no going to become your henchmen, I'm no longer killing for a living" And then because he was actually not to convince to fight for his life he add "So if you want to kill me do it for once, this is your best chance" he said and rise his tied hands

"Oh relax, who said anything about a henchman? We are no longer that kind of business" Hank said and with a hand order his men to walk out, then he let him lose, so he start rubbing his wrists.

"And the Chechen mob just want to hire me as what? An accountant?" He said bitterly. "What kind of business are you now then?"

"Batir is expanding our portfolio of business, and well sometimes acquiring new companies takes a little of persuasion, you would understand that people don't feel comfortable with guys like Anzor doing the negotiation, a gorgeous tall man with piercing blue eyes like you could come in handy to us"

"That sounds a lot like being a henchman, also what if I said yes? I am going to bully every company owner in LA for you and Batir, and then what? When I'm no use for you anymore you will shoot me? I don't think so" He said, desperately trying to figure out an escape plan.

"Oh but that's were you are wrong Barry, we don't want to hire you to be part of our organization, this is more a freelance situation" He said and smile widely since Barry was now perplex and silent. "We have a problem with a little oil company that thought they could found a wide benefactor in Texas so they will protect them from Batir, you must understand how disrespectful that is, so we want you to go a and make their lawyers to back on that idea and come back to us, after all you have greatly offended us, however if you do this your debt will be completely erased" he said and let him a couple minutes to think.

"How am I supposed to convince them?" He asked finally.

"Well you can just look at them with those puppies" he said pointing at his eyes "And if that doesn't work I'm sure you can figure something out, in the end if something happens to them I'm sure their boss will understand the message"

"How many?" He answered, and even when he haven't agree yet he could feel the adrenaline run trough his veins.

"Two guys, semi rich, but pretty unknown guys" he said unable to hide his excitement.

"And we are clear?"

"And we are clear" He said delighted "After Fuches little charade with the Burmeses, Batir thinks you are better away from us, but he will spare your life for a favor, specially a big one like this one, and if it comes to the worst case scenario for them he will also pay you for your service.

"It must be a big company if they are willing to forgive everything just for two guys" Barry said and Hanks let out a little laugh that made him realize there was something else going on there.

"Isn't it funny? This is how we met, and how we said goodbye too" he started "One of the guys used to work for us, but then he starts getting ideas of how to get ahead of Batir and he start giving advice to companies to go with our competition for a price obviously and then Batir found out he has been dating one of his niece's for like a year, like any other straight guy, right? Why do you have to be so toxic? Anyway, he wants him dead, and he is convinced that is you could do an exceptional job as you did in the monastery you can eliminate him" He handed him a folder but before he could open it a moment of clearness came to his head.

"Why me?"

"Well because you can handle a gun like anybody and are the best cold blooded killer of course" He said with no hesitation.

"Hank, you know what I mean, why do you want me to kill this man specifically, and why now?" He said with his hands trembling while he opened the folder.

"Batir found out he was dating Monique while we were following you" He started, serious for the first time in their exchange "Crazy coincidence huh? Anyway it could be of use to your lady friend, the guy is an asshole, not like Monique is any good either, but you know Batir, it took some convincing him to give this work to you, otherwise he will send our guys to deal with him, and you know how stupid these guys are, there could be collateral damage" he said and he could see the anger on his face as he look the pictures of Alan coming out of Y/N studio.

"I'll do it, I want half in advance" he said finally, and the dark look on his eyes was enough for Hank to not prevent him to leave "She needs to stay out of this, you know that right? I will kill you myself if she knows, understood? " He said before he walked out.

"Loud and clear"

Once he was alone in his car and away from the look of Hank's men he did the only logical thing he could think off and he start screaming, and loudly banging his hands against his head, he had swear to stop this, no more blood in his hands, but Hank was right, there would be collateral damage otherwise, and if doing nothing meant having her blood on his hands he rather take his gun out again.

The next morning a duffel bag with 15 thousand dollars masterly appeared at his door, thankfully before his roommates could see it, and he spent the next three days using his rehearsals to calculate Alan movements out of the studio. And he concluded that his best chance was early in the morning when he leave his house to go to his "office"

"So tomorrow is the big day" her voice said once he was resting after a particular hard session with Macy, but since his mind was on her husband he didn't saw her approach him.

"How do you know?" He asked alarmed, but he immediately realized she couldn't possibly know.

"Well you told us that your big recording of the dance is tomorrow, that's why Macy is making you do this all extra work isn't it?" She said a bit scared of his tone, maybe fearful that they were not supposed to talk yet.

"Oh that, sure, I'm just a bit worried about it I'm sorry" He said and finally a good idea came to his head. "Actually it would mean a lot of you could be there, you can tell Janice to stop acting out and teach a thing or two to my coordinator" he improvise a smile and she take it as a good sign because she smiled back.

"I would love too, what time?"

"Well I have to be there at 10, but you should go early like at 8 and see the studio, I'll text Sophie so she will give you a pass" he said knowing that Alan leave the house exactly at 8:30.

"Are you sure you want me there? I mean maybe you'll get more moral support from your..."

"I'm sure my ex girlfriend is busy tomorrow" He cut her mid sentence and for a brief moment that doesn't have to do with murder he enjoy the little smile that curve on her lips at the word ex

"In that case I think I can be your cheerleader for a day" She said but then she took a guilty look at her wedding ring and her smile disappeared "I'll see you tomorrow I guess"

He had a sleepless night, he took his gun out and cleaned, then he reviewed his plan over and over again, trying to think of a way out of this, he would kill Alan and broke Y/N heart because his nexus with the Chechens will be clear after his dead and he will be finally free, and in a couple months he and Sally will be happy, that was it right? She may be ashamed for his husband but she will be alive...

He could obviously spare his life, convince him to go away, in that case how long before Batir found out?, how long before he killed him... but she will be safe, with both men away from her... Because it was clear to him that spare Alan's life meant his own death sentence, maybe months later, but eventually, but if he was now without Sally, without Y/N, even without Fuches, what was the point?

He finally took a decision and put both the gun and the money in his backpack and fall asleep at 3 in the morning. Making his last thoughts to be of her, waiting in the studio to cheer him on his big scene.

When the sun rise over LA next morning he was drinking a hot cup of bad coffee, looking in the distance how she exit her house at 7:30, she looked prettier than in his dreams, he could have swear that she was carrying her white seetrough dancing skirts on her bag, ready to teach Janice a lesson, and his heart ached, he could not do it anymore.

Suddenly he felt the urge to confess, so he called her, begging the heavens for her to pick up, she would hate him, but she would be safe.

The phone ring... once, twice, it went to voicemail after the fourth. He was about to hang up, but suddenly he found himself talking, he didn't confess... not to his crime at least, but he was now certain that herr life and stability were more important, and sure that he will no longer see her again.

At exactly 8:30 Alan left the studio, he walk to his car that he parked a little far from the entrance, so he didn't saw the man wearing a hoodie and a baseball hat approach him, and there was so little people on the street that nobody else did.

"Keep walking asshole" and angry voice, oddly familiar, said and put what without a doubt was a gun on his back.

"Take my wallet and my phone man, that's all I got on me" he said with a nervous voice "Here my car keys, is that one there, is new" He said now more like a plea.

"I don't care about your fucking money, keep walking" he said and put him closer to him, it almost look like two friends walking, nothing suspicious about them, finally after a couple blocks he made him walk towards an alley and finally made him face him, he took off the hoodie and the cap.

He looked surprised at first, maybe a little less frightened, but the gun on his hand was a very real threat.

"I don't understand" he started "what do you want?"

"Do you know a man named Batir?" Barry asked with a dry growl, enough to make him silent.

"No, what are you talking about?" He lied nervously.

"It will be on your best interest to don't lie, I will ask one more time, do you know who Batir is?" He said putting the gun between his eyes.

"Ok, I do, I may have work with him a couple times, but I'm clean now ok?"

"Don't piss your pants dude, one more question, why did you think it was a good idea to screw his niece?" Barry said and Alan's brain seemed to finally connect the dots.

"This is about her? I'm no longer with her, we broke up, after you saw me with Y/N, I swear" He said, and the mention of her name make him loose his guard for a moment, something that Alan notice. "Listen I love my wife ok? You don't have to do this, I already got a better job offer in Texas, I will leave and Batir can keep harassing small companies, if he want the merge gone is gone ok? I don't care about the money, it was all my associate Tom's idea."

"You really like to snitch right?" Barry said exasperated "Turn around" Tear started running on Alan's face, and all hope abandoned his body "TURN AROUND NOW!!" He screamed.

He obeyed shaking and face the wall, and maybe without the fury of Barry's eyes looking at him he managed to think with clarity.

"Think of her" he said and even when he didn't saw him he felt his respiration change and saw his hand an the gun shake on the corner of his eye. "I know you are her friend, she told me everything last night because I saw you leaving the studio in the afternoon." He explained quickly and since he didn't fired he continued "You must care about her since you didn't told her what you knew about me, your a decent guy Barry, don't do this, I promise I will leave..."

***

"Y/N? Damn it's your voicemail, anyway I'm calling because... actually I don't know why I'm calling, I'm going to see you later right? , I was thinking maybe we should go eat after... You know what? The truth is... that I think, I don't know maybe if things were different, maybe I would have asked you out, but you are married and I can't change that, but at least I wanted to say that I'm glad that I met you, thank you for being there... I'll see you soon"

It was already 9:45, and he hasn't showed up yet, but you had made a full tour of the studio with Sophie and she even let you give notes to Janice, since apparently she have saw you dance in NY years before, but for a moment an odd feeling invaded your heart, the message had no sense but it felt like a goodbye.

Something completely stupid of course since he had no reason to say goodbye, but you did. You had confess to Alan about your adolescent crush, and after a long talk you had decided to try again, even when you were sure it was impossible. But it wasn't fair on your side to drag Barry into that mess, he was a good man after all.

***

The sudden sound of something hitting the ground scared him, but it was just a backpack.

"Pick it!" He said and he obeyed "There are 10 thousand dollars there, I'm sure a smart guy like you can find a way to survive somewhere else with that, you will leave and never comeback ok? No contact with Y/N or any girlfriend, no family. Nothing" He said angrily.

"Of course, thank you, I swear you won't see me again" he said frantically.

"Give your phone and your wallet, and your car keys" Alan do as told quickly now with his breathing regulated. Barry was about to start walking away from him, when he could saw him smile sardonically. "What is so funny?"

"The fact that I knew sleeping with Monique was wrong and I panicked when you saw me with my wife, but I never thought that it could save my life" He said and maybe the nod Barry gave him encouraged him to keep talking. "At least now you can be with her, and I don't intend to come back and ruin your future happiness by her side."

"What?"

"Y/N, last night she was so helpless telling me how sorry she was about her little crush on you. That's how I know you are a man of honor, you had dirt on my, and you like my wife, yet you didn't told her."

"Is not about honor, not like you would understand it" he said suddenly getting angry at him.

"Yeah yeah, everyone has an agenda Berkman, and everyone can be bought, maybe not all with money, like in this case"

"What do you mean?" He said with a calm that hide his anger from Alan.

"Well I bought my life from you and ten thousand dollars in exchange of my silence and my blissful ignorant wife, who appears to be to decent to cheat on me, maybe you'll have to work a little there for her to take you, but don't worry I won't come back"

"No, you won't"

[bonatosca]

Investigator Mr. Park

Reader X Jinyoung Genre: Investigation stuff - Horror - Thriller - Romance Warnings: Not yet Word count: 2.1k

Chapter one. Meeting your partner

It’s been 2 years since you graduated from investigator stuff from school. Living alone ever since your parents were killed in a horrible mass murder seven years ago in your home town Daegu. Your aunt always helped you if you needed anything, literally ANYTHING, she is like your second mom and always cares for you and supports you with anything. She lives next door, so if you need something she is closeby, and it makes it even more comfortable that you have someone on your side. When you were 2 years old, you also almost died in an car crash accident. That’s the reason how you developed your 5th sense, you actually can see ghosts and feel if there is gonna happen something. 6 years ago you decided to do an investigator education, it has always fascinated you, but mostly after what happened to both of your parents. Talk about the mass murder your parents were involved with, you actually helped the police to gather some information, even if they didn’t ask for it at all, of course they had interviewed you since you were their child ofcourse, but you wanted to do more for them. Unfortunately until this day on, the murder or murderers haven’t been found out yet. If you will have a change to reopen this one and investigate it once more, you would definitely accept it. You have always worked alone, well of course you have colleges and all, but that was different than having a partner. You hated to work together with others, because they would never get you and your 5th sense. Until this day on.

“Y/N, can you come in for a second?” Your boss Catherine asked.

“Yeah sure, I will finish this up and then I will come, won’t take long” You said as she nodded.

Finishing your organizing work you stood up and walked towards Catherines office. Seeing a man sitting in another chair, Catherine pointed towards the other seat you could take. You just sat down on the chair with a bad feeling about it.

“So, first of all this is Jinyoung, Jinyoung this is y/n” You shook hands with him, not knowing what is about to happen, but you have some kind of feeling what Catherine is planning for you.

“y/n, I know you have always wanted to reopen the mass murder case that your parents were in. And Finally you may as you wished, but not alone, we can’t let you go alone since it may be a hard one for you. So we want you to partner up with Jinyoung from the Seoul investigator team”  

You sighed and rolled your eyes, one one other hand happy you could finally work on the case after 2 years of hard work, you have had many murder, drugs and all other investigations. But you have to work with a partner, and that partner must be Jinyoung?! Yes you knew Jinyoung well enough, he has a huge name in the investigator groups and is one of the best out there. You have met him one time, but you didn’t like the guy at all, he sounded so much like a cold prick. 

“But Catherine, you know I absolutely hate working with others, why must you do this to me?” You sighed looking stern.

You felt a hand on your shoulder “I will be mostly there for emotional help and other things that you can’t work out if it get’s to hard on you” Jinyoung said beside you. You shook his hand away “Please don’t, I can take care of myself, I don’t need anyone to help me, especially for my emotional stage, I have a therapist for that thank you” You stood up and walked towards the door.

“y/n you have to, otherwise we can’t let you work on this case and we shall close it again or give it fully to Jinyoung’s team” at the words from Catherine you turned around.

“Excuse me? I have been looking for this my whole six years, have worked my ass of for two years not even taking a god damn rest so you all won’t have the hardest work and you guys all sit on your asses not even wanting to help me a single bit even if it got hard on me? Did you all saw me giving up? No, I worked harder, especially for the murder cases, since family needs and wants to get justice for what people did to their family!” You slammed the door shut, having two shocked faces sitting in the office.

You walked angrily towards your desk “That bitch knows I hate working with others” you slammed your hand on your desk. Making your college beside you look up. “Hey wussup y/n?” You looked to the side, seeing Donghyun looking at you with concerned eyes. Donghyun has been your favourite college, ever since you met him you got to be more than colleges, not lot more but hey he was your best friend. You actually met him on school in your first year, since he was in the same classes as you were. He is a really nice guy, but absolutely loves woman, so he was kind of the playboy of school, he still kinda is but he was your best friend, so you couldn’t help but love him as your best friend. You have always had better friendships with guys than girls, all the girls that were your friends betrayed you, only because you were smarter than the others, and yeah used you to get themselves a better score on tests. Those bitches are worth nothing. 

“Well I have good and bad news, what do you want first Donghyun?” You raised a brow, knowing he would of course say the good news. “Good news first! Since it gives off luck!” He smiled, that sweet little smile he gives when he is interested in something to know about. “Well I can reopen the case about the mass murder in the mall my parents were involved” “And the bad news?” “Bad news..” the office door opened and Jinyoung walked out, you looked at him “I have to work together with that prick” you sighed making yourself angry once again. “Ouch… I know you absolutely hate working together, but hey he is one of the best investigators in Korea!” He said while trying to cheer you up a bit. “Yeah well what you call good luck about that? He just wants to be there for me emotionally, like bitch no I have you as my best friend, and if I really need help I will go to a therapist for that shit” He nodded, knowing what you were saying. This guy is seriously the only one who understands how you would feel, since he also hates working together with other investigators. Jinyoung walked towards you, you shook your head knowing what is about to happen he will want to ask you to go outside drink a coffee together, which you don’t even like, and talk about it. And oh boy you were right, because your 5th sense was working perfectly.

“hey y/n, shall we go grab a coffee together and sit down on the case? I know you want to do this case even if you will hate me, I will be ok about it” he looked at you with friendly eyes. Friendly? My ass! He was just trying to get that shit, he wants that case not to be supportive, no he wants that case, that jerk. But you wanted this case so bad, and wanted justice for what happened to your parents and others family, and kind of felt apologetic of how you reacted in the office.

“Yeah sure, but note one thing. I hate coffee, just get me a Hot Chocolate milk than ok?” He nodded at your answer and showed you the way to a coffee shop, which also sells cake, like siriously delicious cake. The shop were your aunt always will get you a birthday cake. You absolutely loved their cakes, especially their Red Velvet ones! Talk about it, you also loved the group Red Velvet, they were your absolute favourite group and have seen them live a few times already. “One Hot Chocolate please and one Americano coffee please” Jinyoung said to the cashier, and paid for both drinks. “And one red velvet slice please” you said afterwards, of course you had to get one piece you couldn’t resist yourself. “So a cake lover huh?” He asked with one brow raised, you nodded while paying for your piece of cake and walked towards a table. Taking a big spoon on the red velvet cake and shoving it in your mouth, sparks flew everywhere and it showed on your face. Gosh how much you love this cake!

“I see.. So yeah are you still hating on this whole idea of working together? Why is that again?” He asked wanting to know why you hated that. The question alone you hated on the guy even more, gosh you already told it in the office, why ask again? 

“As I already said in the office, I don’t need anybody taking care of me, as simple as that” You said taking another bite of your cake. “I kind of understand, but you also must understand this can be a dangerous case since it hasn’t been solved after all those years and the murder is still on the loose” that made you look up, because he had a point there after al. 

“Yeah ok, if you told me that back then I would have understood more maybe, just maybe” you took a sip of your hot chocolate, but it was kinda to hot so you burned your lips and spilled some hot chocolate. “Shit..” you cursed. Jinyoung grabbed a napkin on the table and cleaned the table clean and got you another one for yourself “here, don’t drink it to fast, it’s way to warm, let it cool down first” You cleaned yourself up, it wasn’t much you spilled on yourself, it was mostly on the table which Jinyoung already cleaned. “Thanks..” You softly murmured and took the last bite of your cake, enjoying it even more than all the other bites you had, since you learned to enjoy your last bite the most, as your aunt taught you that. “Maybe you should take a rest and think about our partnership?” Jinyoung suggested, you nodded knowing it was the best thing to sleep on it and think about it. You were already done with work for today so it was good enough. Monday was always a short day, unless there had been anything to do, but it was mostly funny enough boring on mondays. 

You waved at Jinyoung, knowing he would already had gotten your number from your boss you did not even ask about it and got straight home. You sat down with a sigh and put on the TV “So how are you doing today Jisoo, scared anyone today yet?” You looked towards the kitchen where she mostly wandered 

“Yeah was good, did scare a little kid even if it wasn’t the purpose” She spoke as she wandered towards you. She kinda felt like your second best friend after Donghyun. She was a nice ghost friend, weird huh being friends with a ghost. “What did you do to that kid? Threw a bucket on him as you did to the resident above me?” You laughed while looking at the tv. “No I let her skirt wave, she was just passing by me and almost bumped into me, well her little dress this and she got scared shitless and ran as fast as she could, I feel sorry for her because I didn’t mean to scare her” she pouted and sat on the couch beside you, yes she sat on the couch, kind of weird that ghosts also can sit on furniture but hey they can’t wander 24/7.

“The poor little girl, Jisoo Jisoo, be nicer next time and apologize, or nah she will be even more scared of you, and you are such a nice ghost ahah” you laughed yet again, making fun of her. It was nice she was a good company for you. Jisoo actually got into an accident near your apartment. She also got in a car crash, but just two years ago at the same time you got to be an investigator, you actually investigated her car crash. It was horrible, but the other driver was a suicide driver. Horrible indeed, since the suicide girl survived while Jisoo was in the bloom of her life at sixteen years old, she just started living and someone else took her life for wanting to take their own life. 

“I should go to bed early” you yawned after watching your drama’s while having pizza as dinner. Stood up, wished Jisoo a goodnight and got yourself to bed. “I wonder what will come tomorrow, I have a bad feeling something is gonna happen, a brutal murder or something” You said before falling asleep. _______________________________________________ Next Chapter _______________________________________________ So yeah I was about to sleep yesterday and came up with a story, which I started to write from today on. It will have more chapters so be prepared! :D I made the header myself actually, if anybody asks. 

[hanalwayssolo]

In The Line of Duty

A/N: Timely for Iggy’s name day! So. Slightly departing from the usual structure in which I write my stories, so this may seem a bit... weird? Fragmented? So I kind of not recommend reading this via Tumblr mobile bc that app murders the formatting lmao

Tagging them pals! @blindedstarlight @valkyrieofardyn @bleucommelhiver @gowithme @noboomoon @emmydots @lazarustrashpit @raspberryandechinacea @hanatsuki89 @mp938368 @boo-dangy @animakupo

(Links in AO3) Alternate Universes in Which You and I Belong Together: Noctis | Gladio | Prompto | Ignis | Nyx | Cor | Ravus | Ardyn

Ignis breezes through the freeway, his Aston Martin almost flying through the rainy night. He is never one to drive like a madman, but this is a desperate time that certainly calls for this very desperate measure. He spares a glance at the rearview mirror. A shabby white Mitsubishi and a gaudy yellow Volvo still remain in close pursuit. Looks like the flock of paparazzi back from Maagho’s really is a persistent lot. In the passenger seat, you sit in an unsettling silence.

Fuck these bastards, he mutters under his breath.

Speed limits be damned. His fingers tighten around the steering wheel. Ignis revs the engine and zips past the steady traffic.

“Let’s get you back to your flat, alright?” he offers kindly.

You say nothing.

Suddenly, Ignis finds himself missing your chatty, teasing antics. That silly smile of yours. By this time, you should have been pleading him to let you go someplace else—anywhere but your place—while annoying him to death with your usual smartass quips. You never do.

Months before, Ignis had been perfectly convinced you were the most insufferable human he has ever come across. Funny how he now thinks otherwise. Even funnier that he now cares. Because it’s not his business to care. His job was never to look nor to listen.

But at this point, you have made him break every single rule in his book.

The first thing Ignis notices when he meets you is your eyes.

Something about your strong and striking gaze makes him wonder why someone like him is even employed at your service. One look from you, he is pretty certain you are completely capable on your own in terms of sending anyone who dares cross your path—may it be troublesome paparazzi, or overzealous fans and haters alike—to run with their tails between their legs. Your composure and confidence says just as much. Seems to him that you’re the type of person who does not need anyone’s protection, let alone a bodyguard.

Which is a sentiment you made very clear that morning in the luxurious luster of Hotel St. Regis’s lobby.

“I’m afraid Aranea here has wasted your time—” you tell Ignis as you set your cup of coffee back on the table, sharply turning your attention to the silver-haired woman who is sitting across from you— “but like I said, I can take care of myself just fine—”

“Really?” Aranea scoffs, casting you a challenging glare. “And by taking care of yourself, do you mean going around punching paparazzi square in the face and breaking their camera as you please?”

You shrug. “Well, that fella fucking deserved it—”

“Whether they deserved it or not isn’t the fucking point, you idiot. Do you have any idea how Cor had to shell out his own money to keep that incident from going out to the press?” Aranea sighs in resignation. “Look, this is more than just taking care of yourself. This is about—”

“—my career, my image, and my reputation, blah blah blah. Yes, you don’t need to do all of Cor’s spiel—I get it.”

Aranea raises an eyebrow. “Do you really? ‘Cause if you really did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation and Ignis wouldn’t be the fourth replacement in the span of six fucking months.”

You fall silent. Though Ignis is compelled to say something, he knows very well not to provide his thoughts, unsolicited or otherwise. That’s never in his job description. He had been trained to keep his mouth shut, and he is going to do just that. Besides, what would he know? Such is the world of glitz and glamour that is show business, and Ignis has never been tasked with handling celebrity clientele before. If anything, among his peers, it was either Gladio or Nyx who gets paired with the high profile A-listers. Clarus’s directive for him came as a strange surprise, the initial briefing of his task even stranger. All throughout his fifteen years of service in the Lucian Security Bureau, people frequently assigned to Ignis were government big shots, business moguls, and upper echelons of society who have been targets of terror and violence.

However, in your case… Ignis could see that you fit in neither the former nor the latter. At least for now, that’s what he thinks.

You spread your elbows over the table, eyeing Aranea with a wicked smile all over your face. “You know what would be better, Ari?”

“Don’t call me that—”

“You could pass as both my handler and bodyguard, don’t you think?

Aranea looks at Ignis, then back at you. “Does that come with a raise?”

You lean back against your seat. “Nope.”

“Didn’t think so.” Aranea exhales a derisive laugh. “Then I suppose we leave Ignis to do that job for all our sakes. Anyway, we better get going—” from her satchel, she pulls out a sleek-looking tablet— “you have to be ready for your four p.m. table read and a seven p.m. interview Dino of Meteor Publishing.” To Ignis, she says, “I assume you’ve already been briefed by your superior about all your responsibilities?”

Ignis sits up straighter and nods. “Yes.”

“Good. It’s pretty simple actually, but the past bodyguards can’t seem to do it.” Aranea smiles, clapping Ignis by the shoulder as she narrows her eyes on you. “Just don’t let this moron out of your sight, and we’ll all be fine.”

The first thing you notice about Ignis is his eyes.

Never mind the scar that cruised the left side of his face, that tiny slash over his right eyebrow, or even the one on the bridge of his nose. He didn’t even need to look at you directly for you to marvel at how fiercely green his eyes are, like the colour of a bright summer’s day. However, back in the lobby with Aranea, there is no warmth in his silences nor in his clinical concentration; there is only a crippling coldness. One look at him and you could already surmise that he’s had his fair share of danger in his profession. Though he is lean and lithe unlike your past bodyguards who all seem to be built out of heavier materials, you cannot shake the feeling that Ignis might have killed a man with his bare hands.

Still, you don’t really need someone like Ignis. You never needed someone like him. A bodyguard should have been the least of your concerns. Besides, you have enough people monitoring your every move that getting a fucking bodyguard is as insane as it’s going to get. Cor often reminds you that this is all for your safety, and that as your manager, he only wants to keep you safe. Aranea chastises you that you’re overreacting, and that you’re still free as a bird. Except you’re as free as any bird locked in a cage that they might as well just lock you up in prison.

And in the first few hours that Ignis has started following you around, the fact that he hardly spares you a moment for a decent conversation—except for his courteously clipped responses like “Let me know if you need anything else,” or “I’ll be right outside your door”—prison seems like a more amiable place to be.

By his second week, Ignis finally understands how unpredictable you can be.

Okay, maybe he does not understand it quite fully. He has to admit, though: he admires the elaborate effort you put into your juvenile pranks. It comes in the strangest of ways and in the oddest of days: from your attempts to lock him up inside your trailer, down to that crafty disguise to sneak out of the film set, all of which he had seen you fail miserably time and again. Out of all your many crimes, petty they may be, hopping in the backseat of someone else’s car to escape him from an after party still takes the cake. He had to forcefully “borrow” a stranger’s motorcycle just to chase you down, which he managed to do in less than an hour. Not an impressive feat for someone his calibre, but at least he got you home in one piece—and without Cor or Aranea even knowing.

What fuels your sheer determination to drive him off his wits, Ignis does not know. The only thing he knows for sure is that you’re one bloody piece of work.

“Can’t say I didn’t warn ya, Specs,” Gladio reminds Ignis one sordid afternoon back in the Lucian Security Bureau HQ. In the saintly cleanliness that is his cubicle, he finds Gladio lounging on his seat together with Nyx, as if they had been expecting his unlikely visit. The air-conditioned hustle remains the same, the glass panels and all the white walls still as stark bright as Ignis remembers it to be. He really has been away for far too long that he finds himself missing that familiar scent of ink and paper, and even the faces of these two troublemakers.

“So how’s your new post treatin’ you?” Nyx breezily asks. His tone is not of concern, but a knowing amusement that Ignis can easily recognize. “The look on your face says you’re either in need of a stiff drink or to get laid.”

“Or could be both,” Gladio adds.

Actively ignoring the smug looks on his friends’ faces, Ignis does not answer them, but instead, he asks: “Aren’t the both of you supposed to be somewhere else?”

“Could ask you the same thing,” Gladio snaps back. He picks up Ignis’s tin of mints on his table and pops one on his mouth.

Nyx loops an arm around Ignis. “Y’know, celebrities can be a pain, so if you’re here to request Clarus for a reassignment, we promise not to judge.”

Ignis looks at Nyx for a brief moment. A reassignment. How come he never thought of that? Sure, you can be annoying and a menace to his daily routine, but Ignis suddenly finds it strange that he has never considered the prospect of requesting for a change in client. Maybe he has his brand of patience to thank for, or his unworldly forbearance in the years that he has spent in this profession.

But then—as if by seeing Nyx and Gladio after such a long time of being away—he realizes that maybe, you’re not that bad. Even in your reckless and determined attempts of making his life a living hell, you also make an effort to make conversation. Not that it’s anything special. He has been wired to being strictly on someone’s beck and call that most of his past clients do not even bother to look at him in the eye. Most of them see him as a weapon, a blade to be wielded against their enemies. Small wonder Ignis himself often forgets that he is a living and breathing person. He can barely remember having a life outside this job. He can barely remember the last time someone apart from Gladio and Nyx asking him anything about his hobbies or other interests or even about his family.

But you do. You try. Even on the first few days when Ignis didn’t know how to respond. It’s just that he doesn’t know how to. He fears that you might have interpreted that as indifference, and he regrets to have responded to you as such. He thought you would have given up by now, seeing how he had acted so callously, but you have the persistence of a honey badger that you use on him to get him to talk, or to even to smile a little.

Nyx looks at Ignis, this time with a genuine hint of concern. Ignis has not realized that he had been quiet for some time.

But he has realized that you have grown so much on him, which is such an disturbing thought to entertain.

“I think a reassignment is highly unnecessary,” Ignis says finally—almost to himself and not to Nyx and Gladio—as he takes his leave. 

By his second week, you finally understand how Ignis can be so predictable.

There’s the matter of his morning routine. He follows it too religiously that you start to notice the little things. He wakes up as early as six a.m.—on the dot, not even a minute late—to work out at the back of your trailer. Three sets of push ups, squats, crunches, all in that order. Seven-thirty a.m., he wraps up, takes a shower, grabs a nice cup of coffee with some of the film crew. He likes his coffee strong and black, no sugar. How you know all of this like the same way you know all of your lines is beyond you.

But maybe he’s not too predictable. Not entirely.

You still have not seen him smile, despite the significant progress in the conversation department. And by significant, you mean that his answers have finally upgraded from one-word responses to lengthy sentences. Considering all the stupid shit you pulled on him, it’s almost a wonder that he even indulges you from time to time by answering any of your random questions.

Though in the process, you have learned a handful of tidbits about his life. For one, you find out that he happens to be an excellent cook. Once, he has shared with you how he wanted to build a restaurant of his own, and that it is only a matter of time before he could pursue that dream. Hearing him confide something that personal throws you off guard, but somehow, you feel quite relieved. You also learn that he has never seen any of your films, nor is he even aware of your awards and accolades—which, frankly, is the most gratifying thing you have ever heard in your life. You have also learned that he has not forgiven you for making him chase you all throughout the city. Which is fair. If that had happened with any of your previous bodyguards, they would not even bother sparing you another word even if you are the last person on this planet, and they would most certainly quit their job the next day.

But Ignis is different. A good kind of different.

Nevertheless, what you now find unfair is that you have never seen him smile. Unfair because he has seen yours a countless times at this point—fake ones on set included. He even gets a bonus because he has also seen you laugh at the most ridiculous things. Ignis, however, seems to be programmed with a limited range of emotions. You have not seen his face look anything but blank or bored, too surly or too serious.

It is only when you suddenly fall sick in the middle of filming that you find a new expression on his face.

Right after the director screams “Cut!” you wobble outside the set, past the cameramen, past the make up artists, past Aranea who’s probably busy handling your next schedule. When Ignis hurries by your side, you could barely focus your eyes. Your mouth tastes like acid. The world is spinning out of control.

Ignis presses the back of his hand to your forehead. “You’re burning up. I’m calling a doctor—”

“No, don’t.” You weakly wave a hand. “I’ll be fine by morning. Don’t tell Aranea. I just need to sleep, that’s all.”

Ignis walks you back to your trailer, looping your arm around his neck, and his around your waist. Your cheek momentarily rests against his chest, and you can feel his warm breath fanning over your head. You try your best not to retch on his shirt. Perhaps it’s the fever talking, but all you could think about is how this shirt looks perfect on him and you do not want to ruin it with your vomit.

Which is why out of your delirious haze, you say out of the blue: “Have I ever told you that you look so good in black?”

Ignis tilts his head. He hesitates for a moment, and then says, “I’m afraid not.”

“Well, now you know. I like your black dress shirt. You look so dapper in it.” And there goes your filter straight out the window.

“Thank you. It’s… nothing special.” He sounds unsure. Or is that embarrassment? Either way, you’re too sick to even look at his face to see his reaction.

Ignis guides you straight to your bed. You toss yourself so gracelessly against the mattress, and you gather the sheets to bundle up for warmth. A wave of nausea threatens to lurch out of your mouth. As far as you’re concerned, the inside of your trailer should not be this freezing cold.

“I’ll get you something to eat,” Ignis says, and as he prepares to drift to the kitchen, you grab for his hand.

“Please stay for a minute. Tell me a story.” You sound like a five-year-old.

He sits on the edge of the bed. “What kind of story?” His voice is gentler than usual. It is jarring, to say the least.

You pull yourself up, your arm brushing against his. “Like, is it possible that you’re a gremlin? ‘Cause how come it’s so hard to—” you thumb the corners of his mouth to make him smile— “see you do this?”

You can feel his face tremble a little in your touch. He looks at you strangely. You know he’s about to say something, but you are ill-prepared to what happens next.

Ignis starts to laugh.

You can’t believe this is what you have been missing for the last couple of days. What you have been missing your entire life. You have only known him for two weeks, but now, it’s like looking at a completely different person. He’s all lit up, his laughter radiating like the sun, bright and warm and blinding. His eyes disappear behind his smile lines, and his mouth curves to exhibit his perfect teeth and that illegally gorgeous smile. Your heart is pounding and you are certain that this is not your fever doing the talking anymore.

“I can assure you, I’m not a gremlin,” he says, wiping his eye with his hand.

“Good to know,” you say, sinking back to your pillows. “But I swear—I will make you laugh like that again when I get better,” you say confidently. And as you drift to deep sleep, the sound of his laughter is the last thing you hear.

The third month arrives and Ignis sees you a little differently.

Different in a way that your smile is now a bullet to his heart. Your laughter, a drug. Your kiss, a secret he would forever keep. Not only have you grown on him, but you have made a home inside his body. His mind, your temple. You have seduced his empty heart, and now it is beating only for you.

But if there’s anything Ignis knows by now, it’s that good things always come to an end. They always do. And he knows better. He knows you aren’t for him, and he isn’t for you.

The third month sweeps you off your feet as Aranea enters your trailer with a new man in tow. At first, you think he is one of the new actors with the way he carries himself with an air of confidence, but you immediately recognize the logo on his jacket.

The first thing that leaves your mouth is: “Where’s Ignis?”

Aranea’s mouth twists. She hesitates, then says, “Ignis quit. Told me he found a new job. Nyx here would be his replacement.”

Your heart plummets. The expression on your face might have been so fucking obvious because Aranea casts you a worried glance, and so does this Nyx. He looks slightly uncomfortable with the way you skate your narrowed eyes at him, as if he has no right to be in your breathing space. As if he has no right at all to ever replace Ignis.

“I can see that you’re upset with this change,” Nyx begins to say, quickly regaining his charming composure, “but by 'quit,' it means he has left to pursue a different career path. Doesn’t mean he left you—I mean, for another client, that is.”

A simmering silence. Aranea and Nyx are watching you with growing alarm. You don’t know why, but something in you breaks.

You force yourself to smile, but it’s not very convincing. Some actor you are. And in the most modulated voice you could muster, you say, “Good for him then.” To Nyx, you say, “Do send him my regards when you see him around.”

As soon as Ignis pulls over your apartment building, you climb out of his car, weaving past another throng of paparazzi. Someone yells “Congrats on another blockbuster! Is this your new boyfriend?” and a couple of other things that only grates your ears. Ignis is quick to follow, and he shields you with his body as he leads you inside the lobby. Probably his force of habit, but it only unearths a memory of a good time that has already hollowed you out.

When the two of you reach the front door of your apartment, he finally breaks the silence. “I’m assuming you have Nyx trapped in some dark alley?”

“No, not really,” you say flatly. “He actually let me go on my own. Cooler than my previous bodyguard, if you ask me.”

“How convenient.”

“So, sous chef to the illustrious Weskham Armaugh, huh.”

“Indeed.”

“Now, care to explain to me why you really left without even saying a word? Especially to me?” There is a tremor that breaks your voice, and his smile slowly creases to a frown. “Is that it? Was that your grand plan? Make me fall in love with you and then just go up and leave—”

“I beg your pardon?” Ignis looks mystified, as if you have said something completely ludicrous. He stares at you for a long, scalding moment. “What did you just say?”

You scoff. “Are you kidding me right now? I said…”

The realization dawns on you in a slow unravel. Before you can even formulate an explanation, Ignis steals your breath away with a kiss. You have done this before in the confines of your trailer, but this time is different. This time, the feeling is no longer secret.

“You have absolutely no idea how I’ve wanted to do that this time around,” he says with a smile. And when he tells you I love you, he does not mean I love you regardless of or I love you despite, but rather I love you just because I do.

[brieannakeogh]

I’m Not Her- Ch 3

I’m Not Her- Bucky Barnes x Reader. Bucky can’t stop a girl getting killed in a robbery gone wrong, but what happens when he sees her all over the place.

Previous Chapter / Master List

Warnings: Some fluff and funny is all this chapter is. 

Chapter 3

The walk home takes a little longer than normal, taking your time, your mind more on the long haired soldier than the direction you’re going. You really had appreciated his candor, even if you could tell it was still fresh and painful in his mind. Although, you think he looked a little lighter as he walked away. It still puzzled you that your sister would sacrifice herself for someone else, not that she was a bad person, just rational and logical, and to have a smile while doing it? You shook your head. His story seemed to bring more questions than answers, but you were relieved that she hadn’t been alone. For months the thought of her bleeding out on the cold floor, alone and in pain, haunted your every thought, you’ve never been so glad to be wrong.

Bucky was amazed at how light he felt walking down the sidewalk. Each step coming easy, where even this morning he had to fight his own body just to put one foot in front of the other. You had given him that. The peace that came with being told it wasn’t his fault. That he had done his best. Your smile so like the one that use to haunt him.

Steve had noticed the difference when he came in the next morning for the briefing on the last mission. Bucky’s movements more fluid and sure, instead of dragging, effort taking up the simplest of tasks. “Ya got a spring in your step there Buck. Anyone you want to tell me about?” Steve asks.

“Actually, yeah.” He smiles softly. Steve’s eyes go wide, he had been joking, not expecting that response. “I met my mystery girl yesterday.”

“Mystery girl?”

“The one I had been seeing everywhere, that made you think I was crazy. The one that looked like...ya know.”

Steve sat down in shock at the large conference table. Either his friend had gone totally off the bin or something else was going on. He licked his lips. “Ok?”

“Twin.” Bucky smirked.

“What?” The blond’s eyebrows crinkled in the middle.

“She had a twin.” Bucky sat beside him. “That’s who I was seeing everywhere. She lives in my neighborhood.”

The breath Steve was holding rushed out of him. His best friend wasn’t unstable, he wasn’t crazy, she fucking had a twin. His face hurt from the bright smile on his face. “That’s great Buck!” He clapped him on the shoulder. “That still doesn’t explain the good mood this morning. You didn’t really think you were crazy did you?”

“I was starting to.” He chuckled. “But no, we talked yesterday. I told her...well, just about everything. She wanted to know how it all went down. Her acceptance lifted this weight off my chest. I feel like I can take a full breath in.” He looked down and shook his head, hiding his face in his hair. “I hadn’t felt like this since ya found me, gave me another purpose besides killing the good guys.”

“Yeah we just kill the bad guys around here. Makes for more paperwork however.” Steve smirks. “You going to see her again?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I don’t know. I gave her my number if she needs anything. She didn’t seem like the type to use it, said she’s good staying out of trouble.” He chuckled. “I don’t believe her for a second. I mean, I’m an ex-assassin super soldier that she dragged into an empty lot to talk to her about her dead sister. Trouble probably finds her.”

“Did you get her number?”

“Why would I get her number? I only gave her mine in case she needs help.” His face pinched up in confusion.

“Of course you did.” Steve smirks sarcastically.

“Knock it off punk!” Bucky playfully shoves his friend’s shoulder.

“Jerk.” A smile on Steve’s face as he stands up, walking out of the conference room.

Bucky blushes thinking he had messed up by not getting her number.

Two weeks pass by before you see Bucky again. He’s sitting in the little bakery shop you met him in front of last time. Large cup of coffee on the table in front of him and big size-of-your-head muffin on a plate beside it, hadn’t been touched yet.

The door chimes as you go in, but he doesn’t look up. Grabbing a napkin from the counter, you head to his table, plucking the muffin up and breaking off half of the top as you sit. He watches in complete shock as his muffin leaves the table. When his eyes turn to you, you probably should have been scared of the murderous rage that greets you, but you just smile wider. The fire cooling in his eyes as he registers it’s you, tension in his shoulders relaxing and calmly slides the knife he pulled back in his boot.

“Hello to you too. Why are you desecrating my muffin?”

You shrug. “I gave you half of my cruller. I’m only taking a quarter of your muffin, you should be grateful.” Popping a piece you stole into your mouth. “So what are you up to today?” Breaking off another chunk of your quarter and chewing around it.

“I was having a calm breakfast before a crazy person stole part of my muffin.” He replied, pulling the rest of the muffin closer to him for protection.

Your head tilts. “Thought you were the one everyone thought was crazy?”

He snorts. “You up and proved yourself to be real, so woohoo for no hallucinations for me. You on the other hand, took food from a literal murderer who can kill you in about 36 ways right now. Wait make that 37, there is a toothpick on that table.”

Following his sight, you see a toothpick on the table next to the one you are at. “A toothpick? You’re threatening me with a toothpick?”

“Sure am, Doll.”

“If these are prison food fight rules, than I have to warn you. I’m packin’.”

He leans in closer, smirk on his lips, voice dropping low. “Oh yeah? Whatcha got Darlin’?”

You pull open your jean jacket and reach into the inside pocket, going slow like a standoff. Quickly unholstering a spork. It’s still in the plastic and you point it at him.

“What the fuck is that?” He pulls back.

“It’s a spork. You’ve never seen a spork?!?” He shakes his head no. “Come on now Buck! It’s the 21st century, everyone needs a fork and spoon combo!”

“I don’t even know what to say about this, I think you win.” He lifts his hands in surrender.

“Darn tootin.” You tell him, sliding your spork back into your jacket pocket.

“Mind me asking why you have cutlery in your clothes?”

“You never know where there could be a food emergency. Also it has nothing to do with the fact that they gave me two with my parfait this morning.”

“If you already had breakfast this morning, why are you stealing bits of my muffin?” He tries to snatch the rest that was in your hand, but you just pop the large piece left, in your mouth.

“Whacagonnadonow?” Chewing around the wad of muffin.

He threw a napkin at your face. “Close your mouth, what would your mother say if she could see you?”

You swallow. “I don’t know but if I saw her walking into the shop I would let out a blood curdling scream and not let her anywhere near my brains.” He just looks at you, puzzled. “Because she would be a zombie?”

“Oh!” His eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, sorry.”

You shrug. “It’s ok. Happened a while ago. She was sick for a long time, and now she’s not.”

He nods understanding. “Stevie’s mom was like that too. Better to not be suffern’.”

“Who knew I would have something in common with The Cap?” He could tell the tone is supposed to be humorous but it’s forced.

“You mean that you’re not from the ‘40s with super strength and agility, and wear a big ol’ American flag on your chest?” He smirks, playing along.

“Can’t say that I do.” You chuckle.

The atmosphere at the table goes awkward. Can’t really go back to playful banter after death talk, so you decide to get going. “I should get the coffee I came for.” You tell him standing up from your seat. “I’ll see you around Bucky.” You go to walk past him, so you can get in line, but a firm grip on your wrist stops you. He lets go as soon as he’s seen he’s got your attention.

“Instead of on accident, maybe we can meet on purpose next time?” He cringes inside. He knows he use to be good at this, but now wanted to recoil from how lame he sounded. “I know you’ve got my number but maybe I can…?”

You blink down dumbly at the ex-assassin. Was he really asking for your number? What would that even mean? It’s not like he isn’t handsome, he’s actually freaking gorgeous now that some of the dark circles have faded and the stress doesn’t seem to be killing him, but this was the man that saw your sister die. Saving him was her final act. Did that make it more or less wrong?

“Ok.” You flipped your palm up to take his phone but he just looked puzzled. “You’re phone? I’ll put my number in.”

“Yes, right.” He hands it to you with a look of relief. How embarrassing would it be for someone to find out, the first time back asking a girl out, he was rejected?

After typing in your number, you hand the fancy phone back and pop in line, hoping it will move quickly. Today you actually had a real job interview. There was a small local art gallery that needed an assistant curator and with your background in restoration, even if you didn’t graduate, made you perfect for the job. If you hadn’t found something soon, ramen was going to be your greatest nutritional source for the foreseeable future.

Bucky watched as you grabbed your coffee and hustled out of the shop, throwing him a smile and a wave as you passed the window. When you are out of sight, he picks up his phone and stares at your number, a small smile on his face. The smile drops as your sister’s face, eyes sightless and unblinking, flashes in his head. Guilt crawls up his spine and tightens in his chest. Was this a good idea? Steve thinks so, he should know. Bucky picks up the rest of his muffin and dumps it in the trash, appetite gone. He really needs a second opinion.

Next Chapter

Guess what guys!!! I actually wrote some yesterday so next week will actually be another chapter of Dog Days of Summer!! Woot! 

For some reason I’ve been having a mental block with writing but apparently pressure and procrastination was the key lol. Hope everyone has a good V-day!

@katykyll, @avengersrulez1536, @ultrafreespirit, @wantingtobekorra,   @i-had-a-life-once, @ghostssss​, @babybeluuga​, @bodhi-black​,  @kanupps06​, @hatterripper31, @grandloser, @reniescarlett, @kjidhzyx, @normanreedus5150, @ilovethings-somuch, @spiderman-2013, @bloodyvalentine93, @xx-raven, @passionghost,  @prettybubblesintheair, @averyrogers83, @stevieang, @albinotigerpython, @ria132love, @whom-the-fack, @paintballkid711, @lilypalmer1987, @the-strandedgypsy, @serenaphoenix81, @theonelittleone, @spidey-babe-parker, @stanclub

[nicolemagolan]

Books I Read In June 2019

This month was nearly entirely dominated by science-fiction, but Nicholas Eames’ high fantasy novel prevented that. I have no regrets! Not a wholly satisfactory reading month, as these books ranged from excellent to underwhelming. Read on to find out which was which!

Sand by Hugh Howey

3.5/5 stars

“And so it went, sand piling up to the heavens and homes sinking toward hell.”

Sand is a sci-fi story in the same vein as Howey's previous Wool series, set in a scary dystopian future. This one, however, despite being exceptionally well-written, falls short of greatness.

The plot doesn't ever seem to go anywhere -- nowhere interesting anyway. There is a lackluster feeling to the world-building, and a lack of threat because of this. In this world, the characters live in a desert, and make their living by diving through sand as if it's water to collect treasures buried under the dunes. An interesting concept, but the society around it was not explained much, and I am left unsure of how their society actually functions.

The characters were great though. The focus was on a family of 4 siblings, and I loved seeing their dynamics and how they played off each other. There was a lot a nuance to the characters and their relationships.

Hugh Howey is an excellent writer. There were so many beautifully crafted sentences and paragraphs, and riveting action scenes. The dive scenes were horrifying and enthralling. I was constantly in awe of how good Howey's writing style is. Despite the lack of world building, Sand developed a gritty atmosphere that I enjoyed. I'm looking forward to reading more of his work, but I hope they're more balanced.

I was under the impression that Sand tied into Wool in some way, but I couldn't find a connection. It's possible that the buried cities are the Silo's, but it wasn't used for any effect. Could have been any old city, and it wouldn't make a difference. I was disappointed at the false advertising.All in all, I would recommend the Wool trilogy over this. But, if you read and enjoyed that this might just fill the void.

The Walking Dead, Issue #192: Aftermath by Robert Kirkman, Charlie Adlard (Cover Art), Dave Stewart (Cover Art), Stefano Gaudiano (Artist), Cliff Rathburn (Artist)

5/5 stars

I can't believe they actually did the thing. This issue is brilliant. I don't have anything else I could possibly say.

Star Wars Battlefront II: Inferno Squad by Christie Golden

4/5 stars

“It’s all for the glory of the Empire, honey, and don’t you forget it.”

Another win for the new Star Wars canon! Inferno Squad is a gripping tale of undercover imperial agents going undercover in the Rebellion to find out where or who is leaking top secret information. It's somewhat lacking in true white-knuckle action, but it makes up for that with well-developed and distinct characters. Iden Versio, the lead character, at first seems like the typical Empire-loving, cold, and one-dimensional trooper that we're familiar with in Star Wars canon. But as the story unfolds, her character builds into a complex, intriguing, and empathetic -- and yet still rather cold -- lead. 

I was worried this would be a typical, cheesy story of an imperial agent suddenly realising the error of their ways and joining the rebels...but that wasn't the case. Nor was it completely a one-note "the Empire is always right" perspective; there was enough nuance to keep it compelling. 

As for the other characters, they were all fine, and developed individuality. But I didn't feel there were any other standouts. 

There were a few cringey moments within the writing style -- MULTIPLE instances of "they let out a breath they didn't know they were holding"...Can we let this overused line die, PLEASE. And descriptions were a bit lackluster. But for a Star Wars novel, I would say it was actually pretty decent.

I highly recommend this to Star Wars fans!

Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames 

4/5 stars

“As individuals they were each of them fallible, discordant as notes without harmony. But as a band they were something more, something perfect in its own intangible way.”

Kings of the Wyld is an epic romp through a world both colourful and gritty. It has incredibly balanced flavours of Rock & Roll and hard-hitting fantasy. Plus, it's hilarious. And heartfelt. And totally badass.

Okay, Kings of the Wyld is a little vulgar for my tastes. The language and gore doesn't pull punches, and the depiction of female characters is sometimes over-sexualised. Not always though, thankfully, and it's usually for some purpose. 

The world-building is wack. The fantasy setting feels like it's being pieced together with bright lego bricks as you read, but sometimes instead of sticking together lego, you're just getting pelted with mud. Information about the world is dropped in dialogue and metaphor as if you already have any clue what they're talking about. Sometimes it works, sometimes it's overwhelming. The informal and funny style of writing gives it a cartoony feel (and I don't mean that in a negative way), and it feels very original while still reshaping classic tropes and paying homage to the greats.

But the characters. The characters. The story follows this group of old warriors, getting their mercenary band back together long after their glory days are over. They've settled down and had families, become fat and drunk, gone a bit mad. And when one of their daughters is in mortal danger, they reunite to take on the impossible quest to save her. 

The lead character is Clay Cooper: the sweetest, most wholesome murderer you'll ever meet. Easy to root for, plenty of compelling back-story to dig into, and snarky comments galore.

My second favourite is the wizard Moog. He is a total weirdo and he knows it. I love how ridiculous and passionate he is.

There's Mattrick, who's become a sad, fat King with a terrible marriage and kids that aren't his. But he's still a menace with his knives.

Gabriel is the leader of the group, and the one who is trying to find his daughter. He was one of the less-developed characters, but it worked because he was wholly focused on his daughter. His love for her was nice.

Lastly there's Ganelon, the terrifying warrior with no emotions. Except there are emotions! The scenes showing his vulnerability are fantastic, but where he truly shines is the battlefield.

The comradeship of the band is so natural and entertaining. Their relationships felt fully developed and like they had real history. They are so easy to root for!

The plot does plod a bit, with a bunch of mini-quests along the way that begin to drag towards the end. I think one or two of the little adventures could have been cut-down for the sake of building towards the epic final battle and touching conclusion.

I'll definitely be looking out for more from this author. And if you want a fantasy novel that's a little something different, definitely give this a go!

Brightly Burning by Alexa Donne

2/5 stars

Brightly Burning is a retelling of the classic Jane Eyre, but set in space! Wooooo! I don't know why I thought I would like this. It does exactly what it says on the tin. It has the plot, characters, and atmosphere of Jane Eyre. But when a character looks out a window...it's space. Maybe if I was a huge fan of the original story, I would be able to appreciate this re-imagining of it. But I don't think Brightly Burning did anything exceptionally interesting with the premise. The language is full of modern colloquialisms that are weirdly balanced with the futuristic world building. It often feels cheesy or just plain silly to me, but this is much lighter sci-fi than I anticipated. I'm kinda dumb though, because of course it's a fluffy/angsty/tropey romance and not a compelling, twisty, or fresh sci-fi take on the classic story. It serves its purpose and it does so with moderate success. me @ me, closing this book:

Sleeping Giants by Sylvain Neuvel

3/5 stars

Sleeping Giants is..........good? I guess? It's a kinda entertaining sci-fi tale told through interviews, self-recorded journals and other audio files. It follows a cast of mostly-military characters as they discover and search for the scattered remains of some strange and potentially alien technology. This premise could really be taken in any direction...unfortunately the compelling concept is bogged down by a dumb LOVE TRIANGLE. Whyyyyy. Minor spoiler territory here, but it becomes clear early on that the alien tech is essentially a mech-style robot thingy. I am wondering how anime it's gonna get, when one of the characters is like 'gee, this sure is something out of Star Wars huh.' GIRL WHAT. No. It really isn't. Anywayyy I love the title, and the cover, and the characters are well-developed. Nothing of real interest happens within the story to be honest, and the ending is kinda lame. I'm not interested in the sequels but I appreciated my time with the audiobook -- it has a full and talented cast.

My reading hopes for next month are high as Semester 1 is over and my holiday has begun! I have big reading plans, folks. Big plans. Like, 5,000 page plans. :) 

Have you read any of these books? Let me know what you thought of them!

[femmelucifer]

writing prompt: undercover deckerstar !!

(( hey anon! thank you for the prompt and I’m sorry this took so long!! I think the ending kinda sucks so I’m sorry in advance for that lmao, wasn’t sure how else to end it & this turned out to be just over 1000 words so i’m gonna put it under a ‘read more’ just so its not too long a post. also the deckerstar in this is really really subtle i guess, it’s not like established or anything but i hope you like it anyway! )) 

Sometimes, Chloe felt guilty for enjoying her job; not all the time, of course - there were moments after cases that turned out well that made her proud to work for LAPD, that reminded her of why she’d chosen to join the force in the first place. But there were other times that she found herself having fun at work - especially since Lucifer had come into her life. And while there was nothing necessarily wrong with that, as an LAPD Detective who worked mostly with murder cases, it felt wrong, disrespectful almost to let herself have fun while on a case.

This was one of those times.

Two women had been found dead at the venue for a figure skating tournament; Rosalind Cooper, a judge, and Kristina Bass, a competitor. They were found almost a week apart and while the competition wasn’t Olympic standards by any means, it was close enough and a fairly big deal in the community. Which made her job an absolute nightmare; media coverage of the event meant media coverage of the murders which meant pressure from her superiors to get the case solved quickly. That was always hard enough to work around at the best of times and to make matters worse, the event organisers didn’t want the bad press of a police investigation to damage the reputation of the event or the venue and seemed to be doing their best to cover it up. For Chloe, this meant a lot of frustration and bureaucratic red tape as she tried to get in just to interview witnesses. Of course, she’d been getting nowhere and was really starting to get frustrated with the case - until Lucifer had suggested going undercover.

She was loathe to admit it lest it go to his head and inflate his already huge ego but sometimes, Lucifer did actually come up with fairly ingenious ideas. His plan to go undercover as competitors was, admittedly, a brilliant one. Not only would it allow her to subtly question witnesses but could give them the chance to draw out the killer. There was only one small problem: neither of them could skate at a professional level. And at first, Chloe had doubted that Lucifer had ever been ice-skating at all.

Which was how she found herself alone with Lucifer, after hours in an empty ice-rink, trying to get as much practice in as they could before they had to go undercover for the competition.

She really hadn’t been expecting it to be as much fun as it was. Undercover was always a little more fun than regular investigations but she’d never enjoyed it quite as much as this. The situation seemed like such a cliche: alone in the ice-rink with Lucifer, both of them stumbling over each other at first, out of practice and clumsy, laughing as they fell over a couple of times and helping the other up before trying again. Their first couple of practice sessions passed mostly like that. Even Lucifer seemed to enjoy himself, approaching the whole thing with his usual humour and enthusiasm, even though he hadn’t seemed like much of an ice-skating kinda guy to Chloe. And after a couple of embarrassing yet hilariously funny sessions, they had the basics down and moved on to practicing the simple routine set out for them, which was a lot harder than it looked but still pretty enjoyable to practice.

Though they didn’t have long to spend practicing, the two of them had developed somewhat of a schedule over the couple of days they spent working on it; they would practice for as long as the could get away with, usually quite late into the night, and then Lucifer would drive her home. On the way home, they would stop to get some hot chocolate or coffee, which was starting to become Chloe’s favourite part of the whole thing; not only was the hot chocolate a welcome treat after so long spent in the cold of the ice rink, but she also got to spend some time with Lucifer, not exactly on duty, without as many walls up between the two of them. In any other context, the situation could almost be considered romantic. Chloe did her best to ignore those kinds of thoughts though, a little embarrassed to be thinking those things about Lucifer. No, she convinced herself, they were just friends, and that was it.

It wasn’t always that easy though, especially on evenings like this; one of his hands clasping hers and the other, warm and gentle as they went through their routine, pressed close together, the eye contact intense. Chloe fought hard not to blush. Concentrating so hard on that, she stumbled for what had to be the fourth time. She cursed and sighed in frustration, resting her hands on Lucifer’s forearms as he held her up.

“Are you alright, Detective?” He asked, still slightly amused but after the first couple stumbles, the amusement was fading and he sounded more concerned now than he had done the other times.

Chloe almost snapped at him, her patience starting to wear thing by now but she stopped herself before she could; after all, it wasn’t really Lucifer’s fault that she was so distracted, she was more frustrated with herself. “I’m fine.” She said, nodding a little and taking a moment to make sure she was steady on her feet again. “Let’s try one more time and then head out, it’s starting to get late.”

Lucifer nodded, settling his hands back on her waist, “As you wish, Detective. From the beginning?” He asked. Chloe had been expecting him to be more smug about all this, as though he would somehow know why she was so distracted and tease her about it, make his usual jokes. Though, Chloe supposed, they had been practicing for a while now, longer than they had anticipated and while he had been making those jokes at the beginning, they had tapered off. Maybe he thought she was just distracted worrying about the case. Chloe knew that was what she should be distracted about, not about how graceful Lucifer looked when he was skating or about how surprisingly good this whole cliched situation was feeling. After all, they didn’t have long until they needed to go undercover, and they needed to be good enough at this to be convincing. Mad at herself again, Chloe took a deep breath to calm herself down, needing a clear head to make sure she’d get it right this time, before she nodded.

“From the beginning.” She said, determined this time to put all thoughts of Lucifer aside.