#but like obviously i dont have an outside perspective on what my stories are like 😂

[tciddaemina]

our of curiosity, for those of you who follow me because of my fic writing, whats would you call the characteristic thing of my writing? like whats the thing when, when youre reading it, youre like 'oh yeah this is a t.e fic'?

[narwhalandchill]

how are we feeling about this project amber update

assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.

But! Well. there certainly are thoughts

(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)

(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)

TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.

in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ

its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah

bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.

is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.

while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know

anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise

so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards

i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers

like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino

(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)

so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!

BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?

NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!

and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?

childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh

i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved

so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!

then briefly for the rest uhh

also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids

as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust

childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD

also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭

But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses

thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀

[kristiemewisstan]

The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology Review (or me slowly going from spiraling in excitement to madness to sadness in 1 hour):

The Black Dog-

SO GOOD THIS IS SO GOOD IM YELLING THIS HAS MY FAV PRODUCTIKN THUS FAR I STILL XANT BELIEVE IT EITHER TAYLOR WHAT TGE FUCK | listen 2 cause I was to hype to truly listen, the magic fabric of her dreamin’ 🥺, oh the original father cheated song, DO YOU HATE ME? ooooof the fact that she felt made fun of by him and still went on to do her shit is so strong and I love her, your honor

imgonnagetyouback-

This one is VERY GOLD RUSH and I’m in love (I’m so sorry I’m not gonna be able to be unbiased rn because I’m too fucking excited), the ahh ahhhhs are so GOOOOOOODDDDD

The Albatross-

“One less temptress one less dagger to sharpen” OOF I feel like I’m in terrible danger of a heart attack, Taylor, I-I Love This Song So Much it’s so folklore

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus-

THIS IS SO GOOOOOOOOOD TAYLOR WHAY THE FUCK MAN, Certified Horse Girl, I’m gonna need to be medicated after this

How Did It End?-

I HEREBY CONDUCT THIS POSTMORTEM IS SUCH A HARD LINE TO START A SONG WITH, the amount of piano overall in these pleases me IMMENSELY, SITTING IN A TREE D-Y-I-N-G yeah Taylor that’s what YOU ARE DOING TO ME

So High School-

THIS IS WHAT I WANTED THE WHOLE ALBUM TO BE, 💯 made to vibe like a coming of age story, “YOU GONNA MARRY KISS OR KILL ME” I LOVE HER, bridge goes HARD

I Hate It Here-

scared to go outside, OH MU GOD JUST THE WHOLE SONG I KEEP WANTING TO WRITE LYRICS DOWN, so folklore, this ones it, ITS IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH

thanK you aIMee-

Oh so we cheated okay Joe I see how it is your days are numbered, SING FUCK YOU AIMEE, HELL YEAH TAYLOR, ID WRIT A THOUSAND SONGS THE YOU FIND UNCOOL, ITS ON SIGHT, OH ITS HAPPY NOW YAY

I Look in People’s Windows-

Okay stalker much lol, this one is sad :(, very pretty though I’m sorry I can’t focus on the lyrics I’m too hype, very folklore so very sad

The Prophecy-

THIS SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER SONG BUT I CANT PLACE IT it’s gonna kill me, “who do I have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy” rip my heart out my god, DONT NEED MONEY JUST SOMEONE WHO WANTS MY COMPANY, also a very sad one

Cassandra-

snake mention 🐍, THE ALTO UNDERLAY OH MY GOD, I normally am not the largest fan of vocal layering when it’s this obviously but this is absolutely lovely, this one tells a VERY GOOD story, “BUT THEY NEVER SPARED A BRICK FOR MY SOUL” OOOOOOF

Peter-

the piano started off this song and I immediately smiled and it ends up being such a bittersweet song, “promises oceans deep but never to keep” these songs rip my heart more and more and more, CAUSE LOVES NEVER LOST WHEN PERSPECTIVE IS EARNED this really hurt me, this longing hurts me

The Bolter-

She’s a runner she’s a track star! THE CHORUS ugh I love it Taylor why do you have to be so good, yeah this one was very good and I relate to being scared of commitment after heartache SOOO MUCH

Robin-

“Strings tied to lovers” IM CRYING, “ALL THIS SHOWMANSHIP TO KEEP IT” JOSEPH YOU FUMBLED SO HARD, THE INVISIBLE STRING RIFF IM ALREADY CRYING YOU DIDNT NEED TO DO THAT TO ME, i will never be able to listen to this song and invisible string in the same day I think it’s genuinely break me

The Manuscript-

the opening piano made me close my eyes and take a deep breath in, New Year’s Day vibes BUT SAD, oh god you know what I’ll kill him, I’ll take the hit, she knew what the agony had been for 🥹 fuck

First Listen Overall- 10/10

I have no notes it was everything I dreamed the actual album would be Taylor please let me buy this on vinyl I need to have it in my grasp also please give me the lyrics written out so I can analyze it plz

I don’t have a favorite they are all my favorite you could pay me to choose

[disaster-bay-leaf]

late night thoughts about sylvie

- its even more clear this season that she is loki’s foil in every single possible way and its highlighted so many times

- i hate the idea of sylki selfcest as much as any other person, but you gotta admit that when disregarding all the outside-of-plot bullshit (disney being homophobic or just not caring about the characters) it is sort of an interesting dynamic (mostly during this season) because i think that trying to figure out how to act with a version of yourself, someone who you know to their core because you have the same one, someone you could have been but aren’t and desperately want to stop them from heading down a road you could have gone or have gone, is a sort of difficult experience

- so yeah ill be disappointed if sylki happens again because i think that it makes much more sense that they exist as the same person with the same thinking processes and mentalities but aimed at different goals - simpler put sort of the same plane but different direction, or same root different philosophy

- so i think its compelling and frustrating to have someone that you know has the potential of seeing your point of view perfectly and understanding you deeply but still taking the same base data (lets say) and interpreting them in a very different way

- i think the most clear example of that is the pie room conversation - they know perfectly well how and why the other is choosing the sides and interpretations and actions that they do, but in the end they reach vastly different conclusions

- and in that moment i think loki’s connection to sylvie is very clearly shown: not only he sees his past lost lonely self in her, he also understands her like he understands himself and wants to show her that his way might be better for them

- also of course in the “its time to write your own story” “i can rewrite the story” parallels

- and i think it would be fitting if both of their perspectives affected what will happen in the finale (although my own opinion is that loki is the one more in the right and given that he is the main character and had the greatest development he should have most of the impact on how the season is resolved)

- but i also think that ultimately the writers can take a different approach and make them unfoil lets say and find common ground which can of course unfortunately end with yet another moment of selfcest

- bonus thought is that the show has to somehow connect after this to the rest of the mcu so i dont think that any connection to sylvie will be very permanent i think shes going to be more like a stray cat that stumbles into the plot when it wants or is dragged in kicking and scratching when needed

but then again this is just a pile of semicoherent thoughts so take from that what you will

- bonus thought #2 once again when we disregard the outside of the plot, i think sylvie isnt meant to be exactly likeable (or at the very least, that isnt the purpose of the character) - she is meant to do precisely what she is doing, foiling loki (a character we obviously root for) and showing us his emotional and mental and philosophical insides through her reflection as well as being a sympathetic and understandable character because she shows us that alternative mindset that we might not necessarily agree with (or do agree with! it just gives us something to compare loki’s own decidions and perspectives to)

[hollyhomburg]

Idk on the fancasting thing i just idk bc like since its an x reader i feel like putting a face to m/c might take away from that or exclude other phenotype groups of readers but i totally see where the ideas from 😭😭😭 like its ur story and u can obviously do wtv u want w it but like that js my take yk i rlly dont wanna offend u or anything hopefulky i didnt misunderstand anythung😭

If it wasnt an x reader then that totally makes sense but since its an x reader it js feels off yk or like if the fancast isnt used to describe reader in the actual story then yeah thats totally diff too😭

This argument comes up a lot but tbh- I think there is a middle ground between “I want to make this story projectable and readable for everyone” and recognizing that in order to tell a story that is as complex as BILY with so many sub plots you do need to characterize even a reader insert to an extent.

But from a practical standpoint, I write with a y/n character because its easier to blend the way I narrate because in a single chapter we get so many perspectives. It’s very atypical and unusual (even in fan fiction) to write the way I do. I think the stories that I write are such a blend of personal stories, fantasy, and fan fiction that I’m not really interested in keeping the m/c perfectly blank in my own mind. She’d be really hard to write if I couldn’t at least picture her body- and even that isn’t the same on everybody you know? How do you imagine someone might love you if you can’t picture what their hand might look like with yours you know? I’ve touched on this before- especially when it comes to the m/c’s physical height and size. There are certain topics that necessitate a less projectable m/c.

I think considering the x reader genre as any one thing or exclusive of certain styles of writing might be too restrictive. The genre doesn’t need to be so narrow! X reader stories with a more built main characters are just as much x reader as others just done in different ways.

Also if it wasn’t clear- everything that I write outside of chaptered content is just a headcanon and is not canon- even if it comes from me- asks have a separation from the main canon of the story, none of it is like- totally verified unless it’s a question asked to clarify. This is just for fun! Our version of the m/c’s are equally valid! Just because I’m the writer doesn’t make my fan-cast any more /mc/ than any of yours!

[backtothedisaster]

You asked for asks on Fl4k and Zer0 so here I am

When playing as Fl4k and you first meet Zer0, they comment that Zer0's familiar to them. Why do you think that is?

Also, what's your story for how they wound up together? What prompted them becoming a couple?

Is it a sexual relationship or an asexual one?

Does Zer0 have a favorite pet of Fl4k's?

What does a typical "date" of theirs look like?

Does Fl4k know and/or care about what's under Zer0's suit, or are they just kinda like "it's irrelevant, because Zer0 would still be the same person whether I knew or not"?

Barrage of questions, obviously don't have to answer all of them I just adore these two. Tbh they're my faves of their respective games.

anon i think we're friends now? legally speaking

When playing as Fl4k and you first meet Zer0, they comment that Zer0's familiar to them. Why do you think that is? - honestly i dont think about this nearly as much as i should because its such a good concept. i think theyve definitely encountered eachother before (like Long long before. maybe during fl4ks archivist days. personally i think since zer0 and fl4k are both nonhuman they r probably significantly "older" than the rest of the raiders at least like..physically? if that makes any sense. Especially fl4k. i think it hasnt been *that* long since they gained sentience probably only a few decades or so but theyve been around for a. very long time) i really like the idea that zer0 is some kind of man-made alien cyborg...thing? so maybe they had the same/similar creators (considering they share some abilities) Either way i hope so so bad we get an actual canon explanation eventually

Also, what's your story for how they wound up together? What prompted them becoming a couple? - i dont think they ever formally acknowledge theyre together or whatever they just kind of fall into it. after they meet eachother on promethea they get really into this weird alien/robot courting thing of giving eachother bits of dead guys or loot or whatever like theyre fucked up cats. and from an outside perspective they hardly ever talk directly. And it confuses everyone around them so so so much but they both know exactly what theyre doing. its like evil flirting

Is it a sexual relationship or an asexual one? - sexual wahoo

Does Zer0 have a favorite pet of Fl4k's? - broodless ... she is very loyal and focused but also calmer than the rest of them i think. zer0 likes that. Close second is mr chew because who doesnt love the dog lets be real

What does a typical "date" of theirs look like? - tbh they just go out and kill things together and thats like the closest approximation of a date they can get

Does Fl4k know and/or care about what's under Zer0's suit, or are they just kinda like "it's irrelevant, because Zer0 would still be the same person whether I knew or not"? - i think fundamentally fl4k is driven by the desire to know exactly what zer0 is and where they came from (i think this goes both ways but its especially true for fl4k) so obviously they want to know so badly whats under the mask. still though if they did know i dont think it would change anything about their relationship too much...i think they just want to know everything about eachother and their pasts. (speaking of which i have a solid concept in mind for unmasked zer0 i just. really need to draw it)

[bye-bye-firefly]

Hiiii there Fae!! I have once again come by bearing a question! When it comes to first, second and third person, what’re your thoughts?

im actually very pretentious about this kind of thing and i say things that actually many people would disagree with me about, so this conversation mostly boils down to how YOU see it and how YOU would write it and what feels comfortable for you to write. HOWEVER. I DO HAVE OPINIONS.

i mostly write in third person, but thats just because i dont often want the audience to identify with a character or feel like they're reading entries created by someone. first person is obviously not limited to personally written entries, but i always struggle with not feeling that way especially when what i do is Put The Characters Through Horrors so i inevitably feel like i have to write it like its an entry in some kind of database or a well kept journal. so thats mostly a me issue. but also when i do write in first person, i want it to feel like you are stuck in the narrative with the person, same goes for when i write in second person which is much rarer than first person. third person is specifically for when you are not in any control of the narrative and all you can do is watch. a lot of my stories are written in third person not only because its very easy for me to write but also because you get that dread feeling.

because okay i mostly write horror or tragedies and have been doing that for pretty much all my time writing because i LOVE horror and tragedy and i love when you are doomed forever and ever. i love when there was nothing you could do. first person makes you feel as if you have some guiding hand, like YOU would do THIS and therefore YOU would change the story THIS WAY. first person makes you feel like you have some kind of handle and second person more so. i want you to feel utterly helpless and at the same time, like you are just a witness to what happens. not only are you a witness, but you can be LIED to by the characters. you are given partial information, half of the truth, and there is no way for you to interrogate the characters to get the information you need out of them. you also understand that a character is behaving the way they are because thats just the person they happen to be, and you intuitively know, outsider looking in, that if they were any other way, they might have gotten through this. the dread in third person comes with the realisation that as a witness, you can only watch and comment on what is happening and pray

i am currently writing a short story that is in first person and i chose first person past tense because this story has already happened, but there is a hopeful gleam to it despite all the tragedy. in first person, you are well aware of what is going on in this woman's life and find out in real time as the stakes keep getting raised, so youre basically going through the horrors with her, but that also means you get to see things as she sees them. first person in this instance is mostly used as a way to overtake YOUR views on the world. its written in such a way that youre guessing with her whats actually going on and you are GENUINELY guessing with her. its not a nameless situation where shuichi is lying to the audience and to everyone else around him. itd be like if nameless was written directly from kokichi's perspective, which would have a completely different tone and plot. even if it was first person in shuichi's shoes, it would have a completely different tone. YOU SEE? YOU SEE? YOU GET IT? YOU SEE?

when im writing in first person, i want you to get it as the main character gets it and i want you to feel like you are trapped in there with them. when im writing in third person, i want the main character to be able to lie to you and the characters around them. i want you to be trapped behind the glass. I WANT. TO HEAR YOU BANG. ON THE GLASS. AND BEG FOR THE STORY TO CHANGE. AND THEN. I WANT IT TO REMAIN THE SAME AS IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!!!

[ziptieparty]

i havent seen anyone alloromantic specifically talk about their experiences in aplatonicism, so i thought that more input from a different perspective could be useful?

i relatively recently (maybe 2-3 months ago) saw someone use the word "aplatonic" to describe themselves, and several things clicked into place with me, my general thought process being something like "of course theres a subset of aspec labels for platonic attraction, people feel romantic and sexual attraction separately so obviously theres a platonic side to." and i left it at that for awhile but something about it stuck with me.

i suppose ill start at the beginning,

when i was a kid i was mainly friends with boys, and for awhile i attributed this to being trans and just relating more to male peers. i do still believe this to be a factor but now thinking back on it i realized there was a pattern to my relationships.

at one point or another, i had had crushes on almost all of them.

i realized all at once that the only reason i had even spoken to a majority of my childhood friends was because i had been romantically attracted to them at the beginning of our friendships.

now, i can anticipate some kind of argument along the lines of "thats just how crushes and friendships grow with everyone" or some such nonsense

but i can say with my whole chest that thats not what was happening.

im not very good at explaining things in a way that makes sense to most, but i will attempt to be as clear as possible.

a lot of people wanted to be my friend.

i was funny and loud and friendly to my classmates. i liked to play tag at recess and brought pokemon cards and my tamagotchi to school before they were banned. i shared the parts of my lunches i didnt want, i stood up to bullies, and sat with people that were alone.

but that was about the extent of it

i was friendly

but i was never your friend

i generally considered myself a "loner" and no matter how friendly or talkative or persistent or technically compatible my classmates were-

it never took.

i just. wanted to do what i wanted to do.

i had kids i interacted with often and i named them friends when prompted to list any, but i never actually. spoke to them? it was more like i sat next to them and we did things alongside eachother (parallel play style) and i would say little things to them like hello or good morning or maybe that i liked their shoes but i never like. discussed what i liked with them or vice versa. i couldnt tell you a thing about them beyond their names.

this pattern continued until i started to develop crushes, suddenly i was initiating contact with kids without outside factors. i sat with them and gave them the sweet parts of my food and for the first time

i asked them questions

i wanted to know if they liked the cartoons i did and who their favorite characters were, i was curious about what they liked and what they thought. their input mattered to me.

a majority of my relationships from then on followed similar patterns, i thought they were cute or funny and so i talked to them and could tolerate the connection that followed.

i didnt keep my feelings for a lot of them of course, i had no way of knowing who these people were before getting to know them but the point still stands; i had to have a crush on them first.

this wasnt always the case with my friends, sometimes when i would interact with someone the stars would align and id stay in contact somehow and id end up with a friend that didnt start with romantic feelings.

my life gets messy from my teens on and i will spare you my life story, but i ended up in a position that i only had one person i could pass off as a friend. the relationship was just like the ones from my early childhood, i just kind of existed alongside her and i couldnt really tell you anything about her.

ive never formed bonds with anyone without outside influence and the ones i did were rare or romantic at first. isolation doesnt really bother me, i dont like or need to talk to people often, my own family barely knows me and has to force my interaction

sometimes i kind of joke with my husband that id never had a real friend before because i could never tell him anything about the friends i still had when i had met him, and now i think i have the words to describe why?

im not entirely sure what i should label myself, demiplatonic fits but i feel is a disservice to the people that i was or am friends with that were faster and didnt start romantically. perhaps grayplatonic or something but im just going with aplspec for the moment.

[bonesandthebees]

Lots of thoughts on this chapter. Since I don't have a lot of time, I'm going to go into heavy detail about my favorite line, and talk about the rest of the chapter tomorrow

“I lied,” Tommy shot back.

Two simple words. Two words to stab straight through to Ranboo's cold stone heart.

Ranboo's fucking terrified, you stated that, and I'm trying to think about what he's thinking right now. Obviously it's impossible to know that (unless you expand upon it later). Here's what I like to think though: that it hurt Ranboo, to know that Tommy lied, and for a second he felt a tiny fraction of the pain he dealt to Tommy. Maybe then he started to realize. He started to look outside of his own self interest for once in his fucking life. Ranboo did what he did out of selfishness and shortsightedness. Maybe this was the wakeup call he needed. Or maybe he holds no regrets.

Then there's the repeated use of the word lie in all of its forms. It helped me recognize an obvious motif that had been there the whole time, yet I never examined it closely.

At its core, Stars is a story about liars. Stars is built on a lie. The lie that Tommy and Wilbur were safe, that they could trust Eret, and that Tommy was going to take the throne. Since then, the brothers have not stopped lying, and people have not stopped lying to them. The brothers lie out of necessity. The people around them lie out of selfishness. Of course, both of these statements have their exceptions. These statements could be rendered completely false if the story was written through a different lens, such as Phil's perspective. However, we're in Wilbur's mind. We are seeing the consequences of the lies the brothers were told, and the rewards of them lying.

A reward, such as a smile, and fatherly pride.

And a consequence. Capture.

I wonder if this story will end where it began, with a lie, or if somebody will promise the truth.

Is truth necessary for trust?

(im screaming. im screaming, im not cause im in a tiny apartment and i dont want to alert the neighbors but i wish i could scream. they're fucked. they're fucked, they're fucked, oh no. aaaaaaaaaaaa)

HI FLAME oh i love this

you're right. stars is a story about liars. it's a story about lies and truth and all the grey areas between those two things and how complicated it can be. it's a story about what it means to trust, and what's required for trust. it's a story about messy people who don't know how to trust and aren't supposed to because of the environment they live in, but want to trust anyway because it's human nature.

is truth necessary for trust? that's kind of the question at the core of this entire story. what constitutes trust? can you really trust anyone in a world like this? what does it mean to actually trust someone?

it's a complicated topic and that's what this story explores. I love that you pointed out the lying motif. I read this ask and got so excited because you put it into words so perfectly. ty flame anon for pointing this out.

[deathbyathousandcuts]

I apologize if you would rather not answer, but what's this NYT, Taylor Swift, homophobia stuff that's going on? I'm trying to find info but I'm lost and confused. Feel free to ignore if you don't have the energy to answer.

long story short, and this is from my perspective so i cant speak to every last detail. however, an "opinion piece" was published in the NYT that was explaining why this person believes taylor is homosexual and hiding it from the world and the "damage she is doing" by doing so. even though she has told us she is not apart of the lgbt+ community. the article wasnt just your usual, silly gaylor stuff either it was like... conspiracy theory, inappropriate and just reach after reach. the article was (i believe) pulled. it got backlash obviously. how it got through the NYT i dont know. but yeah, then taylors team (i can only assume tree) responded and said its harmful, inappropriate and just gross to do this. and it also said that there is a "taylor shaped hole" in societies ethics when it comes to her. which, is true especially outside of the direct fandom and people who are just in this for the fad of it all.

hope this helped it was a very simplified explanation lol

[junietuesday]

7, 16 & 66

ask game here!

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

i mean usually the story im trying to tell will make it clear what the pov should be. if im writing a story to explore a specific character’s experience/emotional state, obviously it’ll be their pov, and for romances, its down to which character will have the more interesting perspective to explore and which character will be more interesting in the story if you (and the pov character) Dont know their every thought and have to piece it together yourself. (i think ive only once written a fic w switching povs, and while it was the right choice for that story since the romance was deeply abt their intertwined character development, i dont usually read like those ya romance novels that swap povs between the protags bc to me it feels like a copout LMAO)

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

oh man i. have countless fic ideas in hibernation but for the ones im Actively working on… i have three revalink fics, two miphvalink, and one thats loosely sidlink but in a particularly aroallo way bc its also abt sidon’s relationship w mipha again lol. plus three linked universe fics (thatve been in my drive for YEARS) still chugging along. i still think im really funny for my “revali and link work at rito mcdonalds fic” (i went into more detail abt it here) so heres a snippet of that:

Link looked at him, expression unreadable. Revali felt something in his chest tighten. There was no trace of the focused but cheerful cook he’d spent today working alongside—outside of the kitchen, he’d reverted right back to the wall of impenetrable silence.

Revali pivoted on his foot to leave. He’d already crouched down on the landing platform across the restaurant and spread his wings when Link’s voice cut through the silence between them.

“Where are you going?” he asked. Quieter than he’d been in the kitchen, and Revali didn’t think it was just because of the lack of noisy coworkers.

“I’ve already lost a whole day of training,” Revali snapped. He could feel something inside him burning. “I can still reach the Flight Range before dark.”

He didn’t turn around. He waited for Link’s response, but as the moment stretched taut, it became clear that none was forthcoming.

Of course. Who was Revali kidding, thinking anything had actually changed between them?

Beak clenched shut, Revali shot upward into the sky, leaving Link watching silently on the landing.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

i. dont LMAO. luckily i havent gotten any negative comments before, and random strangers’ telling me to update doesnt really pressure me to write unless its like, a nice request and its out of sympathy that i try (keyword: try </3) to get back to it. deadlines on the other hand are Wonderful i actively miss the fanfic competitions i used to be part of bc i was churning out 1-3k oneshots every two weeks, it was so much fun and i wrote so much. but i dont think they really have those anymore esp for any fandoms im actually part of, so theres no external pressure for me to write and so im the slowest writer ever.

[sojutrait]

we dont really have one dkfjkd when i say its like dnd i mean like. very loosely FKGJFKG 

youd actually be surprised how many swifties are on here!! ive seen so many folklore lyrics used as sim edit captions and everytime i still let out a gasp DKFDK its like i genuinely forget shes an international pop star 😭😭

ANSWERED HERE

no 

ty!!! its a bit diff for what im working on. for things like gameplay ocs, i just kinda let the game dictate their life/story and i refine it and make sure nothing is contradictory. for milos and orpheus and their whole situation, bc its with a bunch of other ppl we really just bounce ideas off each other for the worldbuilding! even if what you’re working on isn’t collaborative, u can still talk through ur world and chars with others to get an outside perspective. for example, my granite falls save isn’t collaborative but i still bounce ideas off my friends and it really helps! also drawing inspo from media you like really helps, as long as it isn’t too derivative, i cant even name all the inspos i have for my ocs and worlds dkfjdk hope this helps!!. 

( @wildmeadowsims​ ) KDFJKFGK ty both to u and tumblr notifs 😭😭💕💕

IKKK i thought about it but i figured having my blog actually being navigate-able triumphs over meelosh fan cam 🤧🤧🤧

ive done like 10 dkfjkdf

yupp

STOPDKFDK obviously i gotta make all my other biracial sims like logic and constantly talk about it to get the point across  😩😩😩

yeah im black DFJKDFJK but ig some ppl dont know or just didnt think about that aspect 😭😭😭 

nah id never release a save file with that much cc lmao (or the halabis save in general)

[beaulesbian]

I've been trying so so hard to just casually ship byler and think "nothing's going to come of it though, just a cute ship :)" but seeing you reblog all these posts deep-diving into the symbolism of every Mike and Will interaction is giving me hope and I'm conflicted because I like having hope of this becoming a thing, but then again, what if it's [past fandom that gave so many people hope about a ship that should have been 100% canon but was crushed in the end] all over again?

Well, i completely understand that. I know so many many shows that let us down :/ and it sucks everytime.

on one side i see how they could completely queerbait this, but with the way they already gave us robin as amazing queer character, i dont see why byler couldnt happen too.

i have my shipping goggles on, i just finished rewatching s1-3 in like 2 days, and if i looked more into it, i can see mike as being very much a closeted gay in denial (in most of s3 he was miserable about his relationship with el, confused, and now in s4 its not much better - with el not being honest in her letters and mike being even more confused/clueless.) I won't even mention will here, bc that hes gay is for me like beyond obvious, the only thing i feel, in s4 he seems more confident about himself, which is great.

So i have all these theories and headcanons, and its been too long since i was this invested in a ship and fandom, and i pretty much dont want to read any interviews or reactions, bc the whole season isnt out, and it feels unfinished, in process.

I think the best thing you can do is just have fun with it, you know? If it makes you happy, just go with it, and we will see what they will have guts to do in the next episodes.

Ignore ppl who wrote things you dont agree with, find stuff you want to see, and also have some distance and understanding that what theyre putting out now as marketing of the show is incomplete and can skew the reality what will happen in the show, because obviously - spoilers.

For me personally, i could see byler happening just from rewatching the show, (the seasons back to back, which gives you more perspective on the overall relationships and story), not other confirmations outside of the show, so i will just wait for more content from the episodes, and until then its just having fun with what you want to create and see/read.

I just want to keep this small hope i have about it. I like hope. its a thing that makes me believe that even this big show on netflix can be for us, about us. 💖

[sagemoderocklee]

How would you rearrange the kids' teams so they feel more balanced? I would love to hear your thoughts

honestly while i don't think the way kishimoto set up the teams works from a tactical standpoint, there's no reasonable way to rearrange them because there's such a lack of other characters and their personalities while not always compatible, they still work better together than they would with other characters

anyways this got long so its under a cut

like the first issue that rlly comes up is that as far as the kids from naruto's graduating class go, there are... nine????????? like i find it hard to believe that only 9 kids actually passed. i also find it hard to believe that their entire class is taught by one teacher. like even if we assume there's only ONE ninja academy in the entire village (which makes zero fucking sense and i don't hc that to be the case) no school only has one class for each grade unless you're maybe in like a small rural town which konoha isn't. even if there's a sort of rural aesthetic to parts of it, konoha is one of the five GREAT shinobi nations and according to the naruto wiki which i think pulls from data books, konoha's population is ranked as 5/5... that's a lot of fucking people. their military is ranked at 3/5. there's no explanation for what these numbers mean, what their measured against, and how they relate to each other, but i assume this is a numbers game ie: 5/5 means a higher population.

population must be somewhere in the high hundred-thousands (like 900k) or 1 million. and based on the militaristic nature of the shinobi villages, you have to assume that military fraction refers to how many of konohas citizenry are actually shinobi which would mean just over half the village is made up of shinobi. so how the fuck is there only one academy? and how the hell is there only ONE class in naruto's year? and HOW are there only 9 rookies in naruto's graduating class?

makes zero sense. so there has to be more kids who graduated that we never see, which means the limited skill set and personalities we have to work with to balance out teams could have been broader

obviously from a writing perspective, even with an ensemble cast, having too many characters to showcase is a challenge. you can easily bog down your story with too many characters (cough shippuden cough), but there's no reason he couldn't have broadened the scope a bit and just had some teams that were more tertiary to fill things out, AND maybe allow for a few more teams to be brought into the background. most of the characters already don't get a lot of screentime and the true main focuses within classic outside of team seven are the issues within the hyuuga clan and lee's story. team eight and team ten get far less focus than team gai overall within classic. ino and sakura's relationship is obviously given screen time, and hinata obviously gets her own screen time when she's useful to prop up naruto. shikamaru gets his moment too, but ultimately there's a lot of characters who are there but not really getting the chance to shine because they aren't useful to moving forward the plot or relevant to a character's arc.

my other problem with trying to rearrange the teams is i wouldn't break up ino-shika-cho because while i dont think their skills are balanced, the reason they're a team is because of their clans, and i think that's an interesting and necessary relationship (which should have been explored more in canon) to showcase and highlights some interesting political things that again went under explored.

but the problem is that our already small pool of individuals to make a team out of has dwindled to 6, and uh those six are... not very compatible teams personality wise (or even skill set wise).

like right off the bat you can't put someone like kiba and naruto together. they're both hot-headed and it will not go well. kiba needs to be with someone like shino cause he needs to be around someone with that kind of temperament. no one on team seven has that personality, and i think kiba would butt heads most with naruto and then with sasuke. i think he could potentially work with sakura, and though there would be some conflict with his personality and hers, i think they could actually get along and work together. i think she could also work with hinata.

i think shino is really adaptable and could probably work with anyone tbh. and i dont think hinata could be on a team with naruto for obvious reasons. i dont think sasuke would have the patience to be on a team with hinata, either.

so it's really a rock and a hard place trying to balance the teams because there's not a lot of characters so we lack diversity in both skills and personalities.

team 8 is all trackers with 2 out of 3 members being close range fighters. shino's bugs honestly make him the most adaptable of the team for other teams.

team 7 is made up of close range fights with minimal skill outside of that in the beginning--especially given how under utilized sakura being good at genjutsu ended up being. they do have some long range skills with sasuke's fire techniques, but again it's a limited range. i dont think naruto or sasuke could work well with other teams because of who they are. sakura is the most adaptable of the two of them in that sense, but her skill set is still ultimately very limited.

team 10 is made up of 2 long range fighters and one close range, but ino isn't meant for field work, she's meant for covert ops and intelligence. if she's in the field, someone HAS to watch over her body, which limits the team from three to two people. shikamaru is a long range fighter but his chakra stamina is so limited, and while he has close combat experience, if someone gets past his shadows its cause his chakra is depleted enough he can't utilize that technique which then means he's more likely to be open to attack. and chouji, whom i love and adore, is a close range fighter but he doesn't even wanna be a ninja. but ino is by far the least adaptable of all the rookie 9 like obviously she has hand-to-hand skills but if ino is in the field using her jutsu she needs to be watched. having a genjutsu user who could hide her would be a good option... or having someone good with clones, but god she could NOT work with naruto....

so all in all, it's a very difficult balance to strike because kishimoto didn't give himself good options. these teams dont make sense--and makes me question how a shinobi village even puts these things together cause you'd think theyd be better at this shit--but i dont actually know how to fix these issues without either drastically changing characters (skills and or personalities).

anyways im babbling now but yeah i just rlly don't like the options we have within the series and think you'd need a lot more characters or just a character makeover to rlly make teams that make sense tactically.

[neomedievalist]

okay yeah that inspired me to start posting my umineko theories right now ive just reached midnight in ep3 and to be honest im still a bit lost on what i should be actually theorizing but theyve dropped a Lot of bombshells on me that i really dont know what to make of. but i have a theory that i think is pretty reasonable all things considered. umineko spoilers

basically they are pushing really hard this play metaphor and i think that has to have a higher significance especially with the battler 'inside the story' and 'outside the story'. also a line that he said really stood out to me where the battler 'inside' was making a play analogy and saying it wasnt his turn to go on stage yet. that combined with the perspective shifts makes me think we can take this a couple ways if we really lean into the play metaphor. for example, everyone who isn't the 'main character' is just an actor. im not sure if this is the most reasonable way to take it but ive been thinking like basically everyone who isn't CURRENTLY speaking from the first person perspective, Does Not have free will. theres another layer of this with the tea party naturally but just to focus on the story, the rest who are not the main characters of that particular episode, are actually controlled by beatrice or rather actors in a play just acting how their particular character “would act in that situation”. dolls, so to speak.

another thing on this i thought of was if we take acting in another more literal direction thats not the free will thing, we could say everyone, or several people, already know the outcome and are playing along for some reason to benefit them, or have some reason to keep quiet, for example we can already say that the servants are doing this by already knowing about beatrice and not really telling anyone but to take it a step further like. idk. something abt the golden land where they believe if they just hold out and act like everythings normal theyll be able to go there

Also i am so fucking proud of myself for noticing the divine comedy metaphors right away lol. i know for sure that i'm right but i also don't know what to make of it! i know that beatrice was the name of dante aligheri's lost love, someone that he idealized as the perfect unattainable person and put her into his work as the guide through paradiso. if we put this in umineko perspective, obviously the kinzo metaphors are here. the golden land is paradiso, and they literally just titled the tea party as purgatorio. i think both kinzo and battler could be dante because kinzoWAIT i just came up with something you know how divine comedy theorists will talk a lot about Real Dante and Character dante. literally ties into my earlier theory as well and you could even say kinzo represents real dante and battler represents character dante as hes being led through hell but i dont know who vergil would be unless we're stretching beatrice to represent him as well. in any case i always love when media makes me want to go study old literature to understand it better LMAO

anyway

i would say my top 3 characters are absolutely battler beatrice and eva. i got so excited to see eva be the protagonist of ep3 i cant wait to see her be awful

[ungirthed]

want to make a place for my thots of anything with no viewers if i remember to come on here. i cant believe i keep having to make these since i end up getting followers and interacting. but i'm an adult with shit to do irl and things to fight and this fandom is almost 20y old so idt i will do that. lol. just finished atla like 20y too late cos my parents hated me and my bro watching tv growing up. journaling/blogging thots!!! ugh. i wish i didnt hve adhd and dyspraxia lmao gonna split them up so i dont get overwhelmed reading my bullshit. if u stumble upon this it doesnt make sense sry

politically a lot of critique that i have to think about. character and plot wise it was pretty good and tight esp for a kids show. amazing female characters. can't wait for the bi agenda from LoK but i may take a while for that. p much i have to say these are great characters and i could talk a lot about them but i'm shocked at what i took away with regards to the romantic rships from the show and the characterization via it.

re love lines:

i wish kataang was written better in the show (MY opinion if any1 stumbles upon this). i don't ~ship~ zutara bc i am an adult and even back then no cos who cares lol but i see the appeal and am attracted to that. i do think we have to retire the trope of the "both sides but falling in love" not because it isn't possible but because post 10/7 (free palestine) i don't think it's worth it to look at it this way anymore. until someone proves themselves not worthy of death because of the resistance fighting back then they NEED TO PROVE THEMSELVES IMMEDIATELY. no more of this i'm in a concentration camp but he's a nazi bullshit. no more i'm a slave but he's the slave master's son (i mean in this case u could have been related but no1 listens to me!) it's repetitive, reductive, and untrue.

that being said: i just never care about the typical bildungsroman love story. you see the One Person bc i guess the kids tasked with saving the world have to be monk-adjacent (in aang's case quite literally) bc understandably theyre so fucked up lol. but it's always sooooo boring to me esp if it's f/m.

katara is such a complex character and mae whitman brings a wisdom to her voice that can be frustrating to connect with for me but her character arc, her strength, her MIND, her heart, and her fists. i think ppl probs like zutara the most when shes' going batshit and no one can understand aang's perspective. but aang is one of a kind and the cutest smartest sweetest loser ever. not my fav char but i love him. he's like if i had a younger brother and not an older one lmao.

of course they're (kataang) together. they were meant to be from the moment they saw e/o and that stupid cave kiss...this is why you don't wait until 32 to watch this lol.

but nothing surprised me and it was meant to be the way it was written. that's also why i find it understandable but shocking people in the universe and apparently outside of it were surprised at aang's turmoil over ozai. like are you joking? he's a 12 year old vegetarian monk. which: i loved his vegetarianism and obviously he was going to be but very casually they put in a line that hints as to why he would be and why many of us are...so i am dedicated to it again.

so wrt that and zutara...the episode where he's with her with the dude that killed her moms and his support of her i can see why people like them. the cave ep obviously but this show is veryyyyy free with affection i noticed and there's some jealousy but they all get over that pretty quickly. i read some of the comics and i could see different rships happening and i definitely think this world lends to queerness (me personally i love monogamy but a certain type lol so not rly interested in much poly but i do like a throuple) but i could see most being bi+ or having identified as that in the past, or labeling themselves but nto limiting. that's just an aside for meee...

so like katara was being katara. i could see suki and zuko being romantic but also a deep friendship that could be deeply affectionate either affect or physically or both bc that's who these ppl are. katara is a very intense person and that's part of why she can be annoying. that's part of why they ALL can be overwhelming. theyre intense, traumatized, repressed kids and teens with mostly good hearts (or just a person so disconnected from herself but also a fascist so u know. her going nuts lol)

hmm what else oh yea. so i came away with maiko......gjpasig the show was paced and plotted well. i am a libertarian communist (anarcho-commie) so MANNNNN i wish they did better on that front but again i must remember i am 32, ancom, and the world is diff. but anyway lmao so team avatar is who i would want to spend time with but i got so interested in mai and ty lee (mailee...). that beach ep conversation was so good, that whole ep, their argument. it was extremely teenage and showed how fucked up they all are. how confused and fucking lost and pathetic. how small their lives are. how boring....so mai...