#but no. rebecca keeps cancelling her appointments

[seawitchkaraoke]

I am watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend bc the songs are great and I've heard lots of great things about it but maaaaan the second hand embarrassment is really getting to me aaaaaaa

The only person in this entire show who is like.... mentally in a good healthy place is white Josh. I love him. He's the best.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

The Howling. I've been so busy between getting home and staying warm and skijoring and doctor's appointments...I forgot to tell you the story of our journey home. Well, our original flight was to be early February but the Alaska Airlines flight with the blown door changed everything. Flights were canceled and then the weather came in and more flights were canceled and then there was so much backup that Alaska Air would not fly the dogs for fear of delayed flights and the dogs getting stuck somewhere. I do appreciate that Alaska Air keeps a good eye out for the animals on their flights. So, I had three canceled flights and was getting to have more adventures in California, however, I was anxious to get home. Finally, we were cleared to fly on the 22nd. I did all the things, vet checks, and a long hike the day before to balance the stress for Artie & Moon. All seemed well as I checked in and made my way to my gate. I watched the dog kennels loaded onto the plane through the tall plate glass windows as I waited to board. My habit is to board the plane last because I want to be cramped on a plane as little as possible. Finally it was time to take my seat, everyone had boarded. I walked through First class and I heard, unmistakably, Moon, howling her Siberian head off in the hold right beneath me. A few moments later Artie joined her chorus, "AWWWWOOOOOOOO, AWWWWWOOOOOOO!!" Passengers in first class could clearly hear them too. I stopped. I believed they were shouting their connection howl, sounding out to find out where I was. I really had no choice, so I got down on my knees and prepared to answer their call, I knew they would hear me. Just then a flight attendant came up behind me and asked if I had dropped something. I turned and told her what was happening, and I asked her if it would be ok for me to howl down to my family in the hold. She did not bat an eye, so quick was she to measure the situation. She said, "Wait one moment, people are really on edge and I do not want them to get disturbed, I will make an announcement and then you can howl. I was very impressed. She got on the microphone and told the plane that they might hear 2 dogs howling in the hold and that in a moment, their owner was going to howl to them so could we all be quiet one moment so that these dogs could get their message?". Wow, now I had to perform and everyone was straining to watch. Moon let out another pitiful and long howl and then I turned toward her and Artie down below, and ignored where I was, imagining I was calling to them from the boreal forest back home. I knelt down, cupped my mouth, and let out my best and loudest howl....And, Moon and Artie went silent, and the plane laughed. Then, the flight attendant got back on the microphone and said, "Would anyone else like to join in one more howl to let these dogs in the hold know that we care?". And I swear, most of that plane load of fabulous people, HOWLED. After that, it was a pretty upbeat flight with lots of chatter and visiting and we all made it back to Alaska to pick up our lives and reunite with loved ones, and remember to communicate our love.

[Great story. Thank you Rebecca Solnit and Wendy Battino]

[finalgirlkateausten]

Sick Day

So this drabble goes with a larger au, which is currently an in-progress multichap that will be up... at some point. Huge huge thank yous to @freetobegrace and @andreasbayden for the inspiration for this! We've all kinda been talking about a Ted Lasso au where Rebecca and Rupert had a kid, and I've finally gotten around to writing it. Could not be more honored to brainstorm with these lovely people ❤

Summary: Rebecca gets a call from her son's school that she needs to pick him up because he's gotten sick... but technically, it's Rupert's week for custody.

Monday morning sees Rebecca in an utterly foul mood that even biscuits from Ted hardly help. It’s storming outside, a torrential downpour, she has three more days until she sees her son again, and coming off a semi-relaxing weekend to a mountain of contract re-negotiations and relegation costs is enough to make anyone miserable.

The biscuits and her lunch plans with Higgins are the only bright spots in a day she already knows will be filled with paper cuts and ink stains, so she’s even slightly relieved when her phone rings. Talking to another person is almost always better than staring at a screen or signing documents until her hand is cramping. She picks up her cell phone quickly, frowning when she sees the contact name for James’ school scrolling across the screen.

“This is Rebecca Welton,” she answers.

”Ms. Welton, this is Lucy, the school nurse at Richmond Primary School, are you available to pick James up today?” the young woman sounds unreasonably chipper, and there’s the sound of a keyboard clacking, even through the phone. ”He threw up in class and is running a fairly high fever.”

“Yes, of course,” she answers immediately, swallowing bile in her throat as she realizes what she has to say. “But, ah… technically James should go home with his father. He has custody this week.”

”James specifically asked that we call you instead,” the nurse responds. ”He says he’s felt bad all day, but his dad told him he needed to go to school anyway.”

Rebecca mulls that over. James isn’t normally one for exaggeration, but Rupert won’t be at all forgiving just because she got the call and their son asked for her. “Would it be too much trouble for me to speak to him?”

”Not at all.” There’s shuffling on the other end, and then James speaks, sounding tired and puny even over the phone.

”Are you going to come pick me up, Mum? I don’t feel good.”

“I’m very sorry about that,” she says, her heart aching at the thought of not being there for her son. “But James, you technically are supposed to go home with your dad.”

”Dad doesn’t even believe I’m sick,” the nine-year-old protests. ”I told him I didn’t feel good this morning, and he said I should ‘buck up and walk it off’. Even Bex-who-I-don’t-like--” he always says her name like that, all together, as if the descriptor is a part of it-- ”Put her hand on my forehead and said I felt warm. But he just ignored her!”

At that, Rebecca’s last flake of charitability toward her ex-husband vanishes, washed down the storm sewer with the rain. “Alright, I’ll be right there. You don’t have to go back to your dad’s this week, not if he can’t even take care of you when you’re sick. I’m sorry you had to go to school feeling bad, James. I love you.”

”Thanks, Mum. I love you too.”

Not half an hour later, she’s in the back of the Rolls Royce with James dozing in her lap. She clicks on Higgins’ contact in her phone-- she really needs to change that name-- and waits as it rings.

”Hello? Why are you calling me from your office?”

“I’m not in my office,” she says, keeping her voice low and absentmindedly stroking James’ hair. His forehead is damp with sweat. “Sorry, but I’m going to have to cancel our lunch plans; James got sick at school so I’m taking him home. I assume he’ll sleep and I’ll be able to answer emails and whatnot as usual.”

”Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Higgins says. She can practically hear his hesitation through the phone.

“I’d like you to call Rupert for me.”

All she gets for that is a sigh.

“He’s going to be spitting mad if he finds out at school pickup, you’d best call now,” she continues. “Quite frankly, I don’t care if I’m in violation of the custody agreement, James told him he was sick this morning-- and he was-- and Rupert blatantly ignored him.”

”I’ll do it, I’ll do it,” Higgins says, ”But I’m a director of football operations, Rebecca, not a divorce lawyer.”

“And you’re quite good at your job,” she says. “I’m just asking you to do me a favor, Leslie. Please and thank you.”

”Alright,” he agrees, ”but if he tries to press the issue, I’m telling him to call you.”

Higgins must offer some sort of suitable explanation, because Rebecca has a good hour of peace and quiet before her phone rings. She tucks James into bed, singing softly and rubbing his back until he fully drifts off. Once she’s positioned a trash can by the side of his bed, she heads to the kitchen, ignoring her work emails in favor of starting up a pot of chicken soup.

Even though the work she does ultimately have to do is the same as what she’d be doing at the club, it feels nicer at home, sitting in the large beanbag in the corner of her son’s room. Her back is going to complain to her about this later, but it’s worth it, to be able to watch over him. Rebecca occasionally unfolds herself from her cross-legged position to check on him closer, pressing her hand or her lips to his forehead. The fever doesn’t seem better, but she’s made an appointment with the doctor already, so that’s good.

When her phone rings, she heaves a sigh and steps from the room, crossing her fingers that the conversation stays civil, though she knows that’s unlikely.

“This is Rebecca Welton…”

[moonbeambucky]

Spills and Drills

Pairing: Dentist!Bucky Barnes x Reader [AU] Word Count: 4862 Warnings: fluff

Summary: Although you love sleeping in you learn that sometimes good things come to those who wake up early.

A/N: This is my submission for @teamcap4bucky Teamcap4bucky’s 2k Celebration Writing Challenge! My prompt was “Why are you staring at me?” Thank you as always to Sam @buckyofthemyscira for beta reading, I love you 3000! 💕 gif not mine

Hushed are the voices around you as the movie theatre lights dim to make way for the bright screen illuminating the upcoming releases. You’re comfortable in the red leather seat, with your hand digging into the bag of popcorn in your lap. The melted butter makes the salt stick to your fingers but you don’t mind at all, sucking them clean into your mouth after each handful.

Your name is called, no, shouted over the heavy thwong of the music in the movie trailer. You nearly jumped in your seat wondering why Shuri is practically screaming your name. As you turn to face her everything seems wrong. She’s wearing the same white dress she wore for her sixteenth birthday party, the white one with the fishnet collar her mother thought was a little too casual for the celebration. Shuri would always be her little princess even if she didn’t dress like one.

“What are you doing?” you questioned as she continued to shout your name. “Stop. No. Shuri, stop it!”

With a gasping breath you’re jolted awake, squinting one eye open to see Shuri standing above you, her palms are still pushing against your shoulders.

“Y/N wake up!”

Oh, it was just a dream. The tension in your body relaxes as you nuzzle your face back into the softness of your pillow. “Shuri stop, lemme sleep, it’s Saturday,” you groaned.

“I know it is, I was sleeping too until your alarm woke me up. That thing has been going off for twenty minutes. Don’t you have an appointment to go to?”

Your eyes shot open. “Shit!”

You get up, throwing the blankets off yourself as fast as possible to get out of bed. Why you decided to make your appointment at 8am you’ll never truly understand. If I get up early I’ll have the whole day to be productive, you mock yourself in your head.

With a wide yawn Shuri leaves your room, saying she’s headed back to bed. Your own bed looks so inviting, it’s calling out for you to come back. It was very tempting to cancel the appointment and go back to sleep but you wouldn’t.

Your dentist is a really nice man who worked with you a few years ago during an emergency visit when you didn’t have insurance. He reduced his fees to the bare minimum and even then let you pay him off over the course of a few months. He had a small practice in Brooklyn he ran with his wife and in the world of cheap deals on Groupon you knew he was struggling a bit.

In less than a minute you were dressed and rushing in to the bathroom to wash the sleep from your face and give a thorough brushing to your teeth. Morning breath was still heavy on your tongue so you made sure to scrape that well too. Checking your phone for the time you realized you might be cutting it close to your appointment, so you grabbed what you needed and headed out.

The subway ride was quick but you still had a few blocks to walk once you got out. The street was a lot busier than you expected especially for so early in the morning but that was mainly due to a new popular cafe that recently opened. The lines were crazy long and as much as you wanted to try their Instagrammable treats you figured you’d wait a little bit for the hype to die down.

Checking your phone once more you realized you had one minute to go and two long blocks to still walk. You picked up the pace and turned the corner at the cafe, looking down to secure your phone back in your bag and not paying attention to the person coming out of the door.

You collided with a solid frame, getting knocked back a bit but thankfully not falling. A dentist appointment is enough, you certainly didn’t need a visit to the emergency room. Something did fall however, the two cups of coffee the man was holding.

“I’m so sorry!” you blurted out, looking down at the mess on the ground, with coffee spilling out from the overturned cups.

Glancing up you saw the man standing there, still holding the now empty coffee tray in his hand, with his mouth gaping open in shock. Your own mouth dropped open while staring at what was possibly the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

Tall and well built, looking unfairly good in a sharp black suit with a simple white button down, casually left open at the top. His rich brown hair was cropped short with perfectly groomed stubble covering his jawline.

Realizing you were gawking at him you shook yourself free from his handsome aura and prompted yourself to actually speak.

“I’m so sorry, please let me pay you for them,” you offered, digging your hand into your bag to pull out some money.

“No need, it was my fault,” he replied, with the words falling from his perfectly pink lips like silk. “Did I spill any on you?”

You were definitely sure this was your fault but the sincerity of his tone combined with the sweetest look those incredible blue eyes were giving you would make you believe anything he said. In response to his question you shook your head, not knowing if you were even telling the truth since you couldn’t bother to pull your gaze away from him again.

“I’m glad to hear that. Could I buy you a coffee for your trouble? Although it might take a while with this line,” he chuckled.

Yes is what you wanted to say. You would have waited in a month long line if it meant you’d be with this incredibly handsome man but you were definitely late to your appointment by now and you simply wouldn’t cancel on your dentist like that.

“I’m sorry I have to go,” you quickly trailed off as your feet began to carry you in the direction you needed to be. “Again, I’m so sorry about the coffee!”

You really wished you had woken up earlier, maybe then you would have had a spare moment to actually talk to the hot guy and try your luck at getting his number. He did offer to buy you a coffee so that seemed promising but then you remembered the two cups spilled on the ground. Two cups of coffee for one person didn’t seem completely unlikely but a guy as hot as that is definitely in a relationship. Oh well.

By the time you reached the office you were slightly out of breath after deciding that you should speed walk the rest of the way there to make up for lost time. It didn’t help that you picked the wrong jacket to wear on the awfully sunny morning.

It took a moment to steady your breathing before you rang the bell and were buzzed in.

“Dr. Barnes!” you exclaimed, not expecting to see him behind the reception desk where his wife usually is. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“That’s alright Y/N, it’s a just a few minutes,” he confirmed, checking the watch on his wrist.

You followed Dr. Barnes down the hallway whose walls were lined with posters of people smiling, showing off bright white teeth that advertised all kinds of dental products and procedures.

“My next appointment actually cancelled,” he said, turning his head back a bit as he continued to take you to the examination room. “Turns out they didn’t want to get up this early on a Saturday.”

“I can’t imagine anyone that would,” you remarked with light sarcasm while sharing a smile.

The exam room had recently been redecorated with beigey-grey wood running throughout the floor. The former textured blue wall paper was gone, replaced by a fresh coat of light grey paint on all but one wall that was a deep teal blue. Dr. Barnes’ old desk and bulky computer were replaced by a modern floating desk and a monitor that was clearly a touch screen, though a wireless keyboard and mouse were on top of the polished surface.

You knew Dr. Barnes wasn’t comfortable with new technology. His flip phone made you laugh every time you saw it but it only added to his endearing charm. His wife Winnie adapted faster to her new phone though she has asked you the occasional question or two.

“The room looks great,” you said, hanging up your jacket on the small hook on the wall. “Did Winnie do this?”

His lips were pulled into a smile as he shook his head, “No, my son actually.”

You sat in the dental chair getting yourself comfortable as Dr. Barnes pressed a button for the automatic cup filler beside you as he continued, “He’s been back for a while now.”

Dr. Barnes would often talk about his children as he made small talk during the exam. His son James had gone to college in Indiana and also studied dentistry. Dr. Barnes had hoped James would eventually work at the family practice.

“…If only he learned to be on time,” Dr. Barnes sighed.

He glanced over at the frame on his desk, an picture of his family from over a decade ago when the kids were younger. From your angle you could see bright happy faces and James smiling with mouth full of metal. The poor kid ticked off all the boxes that made up an awkward teen, braces, acne and a lanky body with long stringy hair that looked like it needed a good wash. Rebecca, his daughter, thankfully didn’t look like she had any of the problems her brother did, and Winnie looked as radiant then as she did now.

“Where is Winnie anyway?” you wondered.

Dr. Barnes smiled at the mention of his wife’s name and you found it endearing to see how clearly in love they were. “Sleeping in this morning. Rebecca’s asked her to come along later while she looks for a wedding dress. Knowing my daughter, Win’s gonna need as much rest as possible!”

His fingers slowly clacked away at the keyboard, making you smile as he used both index fingers to slowly type out your name.”

“With Becca engaged I keep telling James he needs to catch up.”

“I’m sure he appreciates it,” you chuckled.

Dr. Barnes pressed the backspace key a few times, clearly unable to have a conversation while he was concentrating on typing. He let his hands rest in his lap for a moment, running his thumb along the gold band that has long since settled in the groove it created on his finger all those years ago.

“I just want to see him settle down with someone nice,” he said, pressing his lips together to form a tight smile.

You know he meant well and having had similar conversations with your own parents you can only assume the conversations are just as awkward for James as they are for you. A few times you’ve tried to explain to your parents how dating is much different today from their time but they don’t always understand. The conversation about why “nice guys” on the internet don’t actually exist seemed to have gone over their heads so you definitely understand James’ suffering.

“If it makes you feel better my parents say the same thing.”

Dr. Barnes’ sparkling blue eyes lit up at you words, as a smile slowly spread across his face. “Well, can I interest you in my son? He’s much better looking than I am and not a single cavity!”

“No cavities you say? That’s the first thing I look for in a man.”

The crinkles surrounding his eyes were prominent as Dr. Barnes gave a bellowing laugh. After finally pulling up your chart he briefly went over your medical history before taking x-rays. He placed the lead vest on your body and positioned the arm of the machine in place so he could begin. The sound of an ancient ringtone stopped his actions and Dr. Barnes excused himself to take the call in another room.

The weighted vest was comforting against your still sleepy form easing your eyes to gently shut. It would have been very easy to fall asleep but the dentist’s office was not the place for a nap. Instead you forced your eyes open, with a gasp caught in your throat as your jaw dropped in shock at what you saw.

Standing in the hallway in front your exam room was the man you bumped into outside the cafe, holding another tray with two cups of coffee. All thoughts about his looks went away because no matter how blue those eyes were or how chiseled that jawline was he was clearly a crazy stalker.

“Dude, are you kidding me?” Your mouth hung open in shock as you continued to stare at him. “I asked if you wanted me to pay for the coffees and you said no so now you’re following me?!” What a psycho!

He stood there silently, gazing at you with a crazed look in his eyes.

“Why are you staring at me? You need to leave.”

The man did nothing but continue to stand there, his mouth hanging open in what you perceived as happy recognition. Who knows how many buildings he went to before finding the one you entered, and now that he was here what was he planning on doing to you?

Without thinking of the ramifications you shoved the lead vest off and grabbed the nearest dental tool on the tray. You wished it was the drill but instead it was one with a curved end. You’re not sure what it’s called but you know it’s sharp and you hoped it would do some damage to this lunatic if he tried to come closer.

The stranger’s mouth pulled into a wide smile as he dipped his head forward and let out a chuckle. His actions only made you more nervous so you gripped the tool even tighter and pointed it towards him in the most threatening way you could be with an instrument that scrapes tooth plaque.

“If you don’t leave right now I’m gonna call the cops!”  

You knew it was a stupid thing to say, since technically if you did call 911 it would take some time before any police arrived, and realistically you should have called for Dr. Barnes instead.

“I– ” he begins before he turns his head to the side seeing a figure walking towards him.

“James!” Dr. Barnes proclaimed from the hallway.

James? As in pimple-face braces James? As in George’s son James? Oh no.

A metallic clang rang out through the exam room as you dropped the dental tool back onto the tray and jumped back into the chair. Your heart was pounding furiously in your chest as you quickly pulled up the lead vest and replaced it across your body, trying not to look like you just threatened your dentist’s son with a pseudo weapon.

“Hi Dad,” James responded in that beautifully smooth voice you heard not long ago.

Dr. Barnes came into your line of sight and seeing the two together made you want to kick yourself for not realizing it earlier. Their eyes were identical as was the little dimple on their chins though James stood taller than his father, and where Dr. Barnes was lean James was obviously muscular. The integrity of that shirt was put to the test the moment he got dressed and you found yourself growing hot at the thought of the younger Barnes in a state where his body would not be covered with clothing.

Dr. Barnes folded his arms across his chest, frowning as he huffed, “You’re late.”

“Sorry, I was bringing you coffee and then…” James stopped to share a knowing look in your direction, your own eyes flared with panicked anticipation wondering what he was going to say.

“... I bumped into someone and knocked them right out of my hand, totally my fault. Had to wait back in line again.”

Dr. Barnes swiped his hand down his face as he let out an expected sigh, “My son, the klutz.” He turned his head towards you, seeing the small curve your lips were pulled into. “See Y/N, this is why he’s single,” he joked.

James turned a few shades pinker with embarrassment at his father’s comment, especially when he locked eyes with you, seeing your own crinkling with unspoken laughter.

“Well it was kind of you to bring coffee but I’d rather you show up on time,” Dr. Barnes remarked.

James followed his father into your exam room as Dr. Barnes officially introduced his son. “Y/N, this is my son, Dr. James Barnes.”

“Bucky,” he said, extending his hand towards you.

“N-nice to meet you,” you replied, unable to contain the nerves in your voice.

Once again Dr. Barnes shook his head at his son’s actions, mumbling under his breath about how “Bucky” is not a professional name. It was all in good fun however as you could see the love they had for each other.

Turning his attention towards you again Dr. Barnes asked if you would feel comfortable with James finishing the exam and cleaning. “That call was from Winnie. She locked her keys in the car. So much for sleeping in.”

Your veins carried fear throughout your body as panic rooted itself deep into your bones. It’s not that you didn’t trust James or whatever he wanted to be called, in doing his job and Dr. Barnes would never steer you wrong but the fact that you would be alone with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen as his fingers probed your mouth made you feel more than awkward.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you lied through your ready to be examined teeth.

George smiled as he said goodbye, joking that he was going to call you later so you could let him know the truth about how James did during the exam.

The younger Barnes followed his father out of the room, telling you he would just need a minute to get ready, leaving you time to mentally prepare yourself.

You can do this Y/N. He’s just a hot guy. There are plenty of hot people out there. He’s just a normal guy with extraordinarily good looks. Don’t stare at him like he’s got a metal arm or something. Be cool.

Shrugging your shoulders you tried to physically shake off any lingering awkwardness, well as best as you could while still wearing the lead vest. With the morning you had you were glad you remembered to put on deodorant, especially now as you’re sweating in the chair, hoping the sweat stains under your arms that were definitely starting to form were not visible.

Footsteps echoed closer on the new wood flooring alerting you to sit up a bit more as you anticipated James’ arrival once more. He looked even better somehow, forgoing the suit jacket for a white lab coat.

“Time to get you out of that vest,” he said, scrunching his face up adorably as he corrected his words, “I mean, time to take the x-rays t-then you won’t need to wear the vest, heh.”

Responding with an awkward chuckle you felt slightly comforted by the fact that you weren’t the only one feeling nervous with the situation. You focused your eyes on the teal wall ahead, ignoring the way his deft fingers assembled the piece for the x-ray that would go in your mouth, holding a tense breath as he asked you to open your mouth and bite down.

Your mind was not helping you keep cool as it imagined his simple request in a more seductive scenario, hearing that smooth voice giving commands was not something you were turned off by.

You managed to make it through the rest of the x-rays with minimal squirming in your seat, as you combated visions of ripping his clothes off with thoughts of Shuri and her obsession with watching pimple popping videos. That girl may be a genius but there is definitely something wrong with her.

James’ fingers brushed against your arm as he finally took off the lead vest. “You’re hot,” he said causing your eyes to widen. “I mean from the vest,” he quickly mumbled.

Bucky was thankful his back was towards you as he hung the vest back up on the wall, rolling his eyes with embarrassment by his poor choice of words. It’s true, your body was feeling warm when his fingers gently skimmed across your skin but Bucky thought you were hot the moment you ran into each other outside the cafe.

He kicked himself for choosing to stand in line for coffee again instead of trying to talk with you before you left to give you his number. It took all the strength in the world not to drop the tray of coffee again when he saw you in the exam room. He’s truly never been happier to have been at work before.

Though Bucky had been practicing dentistry for quite a few years now being around you made him feel as nervous as he was during his first day of clinicals. He attempted to make small talk with you as he began the exam, an onerous task on your behalf as you could only communicate with a few sounds as your mouth hung open.

It was difficult not to look at James as he checked and cleaned your teeth. The bottom half of his handsome face was blocked by a mask but through his safety glasses you could still see those beautiful blue eyes, as clear as the ocean surrounding a tropical island.

Apparently you were lost in dreamy thought, unaware your tongue had strayed from where it was supposed to be during the cleaning.

“Stick your tongue out further,” he asked and you complied, focusing on the ceiling tiles above instead as he continued. “Okay, you can sit up and rinse now.”

Bringing the small cup to your lips you swished the water around your mouth and spit out a mess of saliva and blood.

“I never know what to do with my tongue,” you said, referencing your earlier action although hearing the words out of context you’re not sure if he knows what you mean. “D-during the exam!” you quickly added. “I know what to do with it.”

You heard a chuckle from behind, realizing your extra comment made things worse and you should probably never speak again.

Your mouth still felt unclean, though you couldn’t tell if it was leftover residue from the exam or the stupidity of your words. As you pressed the button to refill the cup you focused on the fact that in a few moments you would be getting your new toothbrush, paying the bill and leaving forever.

James spoke just as you began to pick up the cup, “Well, I’m happy to say your oral is good.”

The shock of his words caused your fingers to let go of the delicate cup, spilling water all over the floor.

“Health!” he shouted, catching his mistake. “Oral health!”

Bucky’s cheeks burned hotter than the sun and he didn’t need a mirror to know he was currently a deep crimson shade to match the level of embarrassment he felt. He wanted to disappear, magically teleport himself back to Indiana where he was not a bumbling idiot.

A gasp pulled his attention towards you as your hands simultaneously covered your gaping mouth while apologies spilled from your lips faster than the water.

“No, it’s okay, it’s my fault,” he apologized.

Bucky left the room, internally chastising himself for the ridiculous thing he said. He was thankful his father was not here to watch his descent into complete incompetence. There was something about you that made him act like a fool. He wondered if he could blame it on laughing gas, claim there was a leak in the nitrous oxide tank.

He opened the supply closet letting his shoulders slump as he exhaled a deep sigh. There was no way he could come back from this.

James returned with a large roll of paper towels in hand. Getting up from the chair you offered to help clean the spill but he insisted you didn’t have to. Instead you stood to the side, and despite how tempting it was to look at him bending over as he cleaned the floor you shut your eyes, pinched the bridge of your nose and wished you were still dreaming, hoping Shuri would wake you up from this nightmare.

His foot stepped on the pedal of the garbage as he dumped the saturated paper towels, pulling off his gloves to dump them as well. You still stood silently, inching your way out of the room, knowing you’ll have to find a new dentist because you could never face James or Dr. Barnes ever again.

Bucky rummaged through a drawer before turning towards you, “Do you want green or blue...or…. uhh, I’ve got orange,” he spoke of the toothbrushes.

“Doesn’t matter.” Get the toothbrush, pay the bill, leave forever.

James handed you a blue toothbrush and you wondered if it was a conscious choice, a reminder about his eyes even though this basic color falls short in comparison to the beauty of those sparkling sapphires.

Following him to the front you nodded quickly when he spoke about scheduling another appointment in six months. It didn’t matter, you would be cancelling it as the time neared. With the bill paid you gave him an awkward goodbye with a stupid wave that was immediately added to the long list of regrets for the day, and quickly ran out of the door.

A few hours later you were feeling better. You told Shuri everything the moment you got back to your apartment and even though reliving the disaster that was your morning made you feel embarrassed all over again, when she rolled off the bed from laughing so hard it allowed you to let go of everything and laugh along with her.

The buzzing of your phone on the table woke you from a nap you didn’t know you had taken. Seeing Dr. Barnes’ office number you remembered he said he would be calling you to check how things went.

“Hi, Dr. Barnes,” you said cheerily.

“Hi Y/N, this is Dr. Barnes. Not that Dr. Barnes though, it’s Bucky.”

“Oh, hi.” All of the nerves came rushing back as your heart raced with fear, wondering why he was calling you. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just you left your jacket in the office.”

You completely forgot about your jacket until you were nearly home and a gust of wind caused goosebumps to erupt all over your bare arms reminding you about the poor jacket you abandoned in the office. It was too late, the jacket was a lost cause, an innocent victim as a result of your awkwardness, now homeless because you were not going back for it.

“Oh… yeah,” you responded, trying to sound casual.

“That’s not the only reason I called.”

Bucky cleared his throat, forcing himself to say the apologies he’s been repeating in his head all day but this time to the person who needed to hear it.

“I wanted to apologize for today. I’m normally not…” He ruminated on his words, trying to think of something professional before settling on the truth “… a mess.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his admission and the sound eased some of the tension he felt immediately. If Bucky was being honest you thought you should do the same.

“Me too. I’d like to think I’m a lot more chill than I was today.”

“So threatening people with a sickle probe isn’t a normal part of your dental experience?” he joked, pulling more laughter from you. “In all seriousness, I’d like to return your jacket and maybe I could buy you that cup of coffee?”

Bucky’s voice went higher with uncertainty as he silently hoped you would say yes to his offer. The momentary silence was deafening as he waited for your answer.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea…”

Bucky’s heart sunk to the floor. He was wrong to think you felt the same about him. Clearly you wanted to keep things professional, something he was clearly incapable of.

“…I heard coffee stains your teeth.”

Relief washed over him quickly, helping to slow the rapid beat of his anxious heart. His lips stretched wide across his face as he said, “Maybe it’s another excuse to see you again.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks and you chewed on your bottom lip to help contain the smile that threatened to spread all the way to Brooklyn. You decided to meet at a coffee shop in the middle, leaving you just enough time to get changed and attempt to look presentable again.

“I’ll see you soon Bucky,” you said, getting up and eyeing your closet for something to wear. “And I promise I won’t knock it over.”

“I hope not because it was definitely your fault this morning!”

A/N: Thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated :)

Perm. Tags (open): @all1e23 / @asphalt-cocktail / @badassbaker / @bibibucky / @breezy1415 / @bucky-smiles / @buckybabybaby / @buckybarneshairpullingkink / @buckyofthemyscira / @california-grown / @chameerah / @chrevastan / @crazyfreaker / @crazyinspiration / @driftingtonystark / @fandom-addict-aesthetics / @hana1379 / @his-paradox / @holland-stan-posts / @jaamesbbarnes / @jamesbvck / @jbuckbrnes / @kentuckybarnes / @kenzieam / @lokissoul / @mcu-avengers / @mizzzpink / @notimetoblog / @palaiasaurus64 / @prettyyoungtragedy / @royallylazy / @sgtjbuccky / @stanclub / @stevehesaidabadlanguageword / @supernaturaldean67 / @survivalistflowers / @suz-123 / @teamcap4bucky / @theassetseyeliner / @toongtii / @tropicalcap / @undyingart / @valhalla-ally / @wonderlandmind4 / @wonderless-screwup / @yknott81

[thisiskevison]

kevin + madison  —  headcanons 

inspired by @madsdefencesquad 

Who checks their daily horoscope? 

Madison 1000%. Kevin would never claim to know anything about that sort of thing. In fact, he thinks it’s kind of ridiculous that she has an astrology app on her phone. Not that he would ever tell her that. Why? Well, because he’s the best boyfriend ever and she does look adorable when she gets really excited about something written in her horoscope. If it makes her happy, Kevin can play along. 

Who initiated the first kiss? 

Madison made tea and they talked like friends. It was unexpected, to say the least. Kevin told her about Sophie and the day he spent in Pittsburgh. Madison pretended not to notice that he took a drink from his mug when he almost went and revealed too much. In return, she talked about Patrick, her latest ex-boyfriend. Considering their history, Madison was as shocked as anyone when she found herself genuinely enjoying his company. Still, nothing could have prepared her for what happened next. As if in slow motion, Kevin leaned in and kissed her. Their mouths met and selfishly, all thoughts of best friends and forbidden brothers disappeared. For too long, they’ve been been so foolish. Instead of being annoyed by one another, they could have been doing this all along. Madison imagined she could kiss Kevin forever and hoped he was enjoying himself even half as much. 

Which cares about holidays more?

Around the holidays, Madison goes overboard, surprising absolutely no one. She decorates accordingly and buys far too many seasonal candles - Kevin knows not to ask questions when the house smells like peppermint in July. The first time Rebecca and Kate and Beth include her in the conversation as they work to organize the family dinner, Madison nearly cries. They have their Pearson traditions and now, she is part of them. They are her family and Madison can't lie, she's missed having one. 

Who cries when the abused animal commercials come on?

Listen, pregnancy hormones are no joke and those commercials are brutal. Now, at the first sight of one, Kevin knows to scramble for the remote and change the channel. She thanks him with a smile and wipes away a tear each time. It’s the little things really. 

Who plans a romantic date?

As a movie star, Kevin has all the connections. When the twins are six months old and they are in desperate need of a night out of the house, he makes reservations and asks Kate and Toby to babysit. Madison wears an emerald green dress and she looks so incredible, Kevin considers cancelling this whole night and trying for a third baby instead. As if Kate doesn’t already knows, Madison reminds her to call if they need anything, anything at all, as she clumsily puts a high-heel on. In the corner, Toby shakes his head and grins, his amusement evident. They barely make it out of the driveway before Madison questions if maybe this was a bad idea. In response, Kevin steps on the gas and puts his hand on her bare thigh. 

Who said “I love you” first?

Madison said it first. They were in the car, after another doctor's appointment, when the actual words slipped out. She can remember it so clearly. Kevin's smile was as wide as his face as he talked about baby names and painting a nursery and Madison just couldn't help herself. He had to know. She couldn’t wait another minute. Even if it was too soon. Even if Kevin might laugh in her face. None of that mattered. He had to know that she loves him, that she is in love with him, that there is no one else she'd rather share a life and family with. Luckily, it wasn't too soon and Kevin did feel the same. He told her exactly that after he pulled over - because, ya know, safety first - and kissed her with everything in him.  

Who is happier when they are out in nature?

It's no secret that Kevin likes to keep in shape. He enjoys going for a run and working out when the weather permits. Thankfully, because they live in California, almost everyday is suitable for outdoor activities. Together, Kevin and Madison make Sunday hikes a tradition. They pick the trails that aren't too crazy, nothing Madison can't handle as her belly grows, and get to spend a few hours together. Madison packs snacks and Kevin never lets her wear the backpack she puts them in. At first, it bugged her that he thought she was incapable of carrying more than a few pounds but has since learned that is a battle she won’t win. Each time he takes the bag from her shoulder and weaves his own arms through the straps, Madison simply rolls her and sticks her tongue out like a child. 

Who’s the lighter sleeper?

After so many years of living alone, Madison wakes up at even the smallest sound. Plus, she probably watches too much 20/20, which does little to help her sleeping habits. Once, after she watched a particularly disturbing episode, Kevin had to check that the front door was locked half a dozen times before they could go to bed. When he is out of town, he makes Madison promise she wouldn’t watch without him. She agreed and promptly broke that promise. While Kevin was in New York for a work event, he got a call from his sister. Apparently, his girlfriend had driven herself to Kate and Toby’s house because she’d watched too many episodes in a row and convinced herself that there was burglar at their door at three o’clock in the morning. So, just as soon as he got home, Kevin wasted no time. Anything crime related or even remotely scary was prompted deleted from the DVR. 

Who sings louder in the car?

Whenever one of the twins - or both, if they’re lucky - gets fussy in their car seat, Kevin has found that turning up the radio and singing along to whatever song is playing does the trick to calm them down. Sitting in the passenger seat, Madison giggles and lets him do his thing. He may sing off-key 99% of the time and almost always get the lyrics wrong, but who cares. Kevin certainly doesn’t. Besides, it kind of feels like something Jack Pearson would do and Jack Pearson was a freaking superhero. The man could have made even Batman look lame. 

[dealanddistrictstrokegroup]

Deal &    District Strokes Newsletter JUNE 2022

  2022

     Hello to everyone

So happy that it looks like the weather is going to be more like summer for this week, hopefully not too hot.  

JUNE

FRIDAY, 10TH– Oh my goodness that was the best Jubilee Celebration we could have had.  Diane, Louise and co., set up the room at Golf Road to look like a street party and it WAS amazing.  The food was fantastic and cakes brilliant, Teresa made a lemon cake as a centre to the cake table (as below) and all was perfect.  Brilliant quiz and ‘who was the royal baby’ pictures proved to be quite tricky but thank you Pete for helping out with these as it all was very enjoyable.

SATURDAY, 18th– Arrangements have been finalised for the Oklahoma performance and anyone attending should have all the details, please contact Wendy with any queries.  All going should be at St Margaret’s Village Hall by 1.45pm.

 JULY

FRIDAY, 1ST– At this meeting membership cards will be provided as we are starting our yearly subscription again. As already advised, we can confirm that the cost is £5 per person for the year July 2022/July 2023.  The main event will be Gerry giving a talk about genealogy, such an interesting topic should keep us all riveted.  For the second half of the meeting, we will play a game or two of steal.  

FRIDAY, 15TH– An outing to Wingham Wildlife Park is being arranged by Wendy so if you wish to go please complete the enclosed form and return it at the meeting on July 1st, or alternatively, call Wendy on her mobile if you have any queries.  As arrangements for volunteers will be very important for this outing, please keep this in mind should you require any help getting around.  We would look to get there for 11.00am and take a packed lunch if you wish or alternatively you can purchase any food while there.  The cost of entrance will be covered by DDS.

                                                                                                                                                           PTO/…

 With respect to the third Friday get together, it has been decided to cancel the hall at Golf Road as it appeared to be underused.  If a group would like to meet to chat, please feel free to visit the coffee shop at Golf Road Centre.  If a meal is required, please remember to let Debbie know as it does get very busy at times in the restaurant.  

 The pier walks are carrying on every Thursday and it is especially pleasant now the summer has arrived and feel, as it is such a convenient location, we are lucky that Aspendos is happy for such a large group to descend on them  

 The seated exercise classes are going very well with many of us going.  Julie is happy to talk to anyone individually following the class to answer any questions we may have, so this will carry on every Wednesday between 1.00pm and 2.00pm

 As usual Rebecca will contact people to arrange their appointments for reflexology.

 Birthdays for June/July 2022:   We have already had Teresa’s on the 10th but we also have Phyliss’s is on 25th.  July’s Birthdays are:  Pat Ledger’s is the only one in July and this is on the 21st. Happy Birthday to one and all.

 With best wishes from all the committee members

 Dorthe – (H) 373880 or (Mob) 07929 028016, Ann – (H) 360653 or (Mob) 07760 246543,    Janet (Mob) 07707 684548,  Liz – (H) 612448 or (Mob) 07958 779577, Pete ��� 07747 715998 and Wendy’s (Mob) 07542 448884 or email: wendybonce@yahoo.co.uk

                                                                                                                                        OUTING TO WINGHAM WILDLIFE PARK ON 15TH JULY to commence at

10.45am

 NAME(S) 1………………………………………………… 2  ………………………………………………………………………

 Transport required   YES  /  NO (please circle yes or no)

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  OUTING TO WINGHAM WILDLIFE PARK ON 15TH JULY to commence at 10.45am

 NAME(S) 1………………………………………………… 2  ………………………………………………………………………

 Transport required   YES  /  NO (please circle yes or no)

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  OUTING TO WINGHAM WILDLIFE PARK ON 15TH JULY to commence at 10.45am

 NAME(S) 1………………………………………………… 2  ………………………………………………………………………

 Transport required   YES  /  NO (please circle yes or no)

[discovering-ellie]

August 3, 2021

Okay, so who wants to talk about Kelly?

If you've been keeping up with this ridiculous story that is my current life progress, then you're already aware of Kelly. For those just tuning in, Kelly is my new therapist after my old one abruptly left sometime during the week without, you know, canceling my appointment.

I met with Kelly this afternoon and, all morning leading up to it, I was feeling on edge. It was a high anxiety day for me, for SURE. I was irritable, wanted to cry a LOT, and just couldn't get enough personal space to save my life.

Then, I had my appointment with her. She's been in the field for 10 years now and she explained the structure of her appointments (a certain amount of time to review what's gone on since the previous week, a certain time discussing what's on my mind/working on whatever skills she's got in mind for the week, talking about how I've enacted skills that I've learned, etc.). So, unlike my last counselor, I have a feeling that I'll actually be getting homework/projects to work on, which I'm actually looking forward to. She also actively takes notes via pen and paper during our appointments and encourages me to do the same, and also journaling during the week (maybe not hardcore journaling, but at least jotting down anything that I want to remember to talk about or questions/concerns that I might have). She specializes/focuses in depression, anxiety, trauma, abuse, women's issues -- so, yeah, all things that I definitely have in the forefront of my mind.

Her methods include radical self-acceptance exercises (more on that here) and self-compassion exercises. She said she was going to send me info sheets, but I'm still waiting on those. That's okay though, because the internet is my friend.

....Just kidding, she just sent the self-compassion info.

There was a little bit of backtracking, mostly involving me talking about what brought me to therapy and what my goals were and what I was hoping to work on. Right around this time, I finally told her about my concerns in regards to BPD (at another friend's suggestion yesterday when I was talking to her about all of this) and I outlined my history of self-harm and my bulimic tendencies, in addition to what was already mentioned in my progress notes (history of abuse, fear of abandonment, lashing out in anger at inappropriate times, hesitance in regards to new people/the unknown/unfamiliar situations).

Unlike Rebecca, she actually had a reaction to the things I was telling her and how I was reacting to what I was telling her. She definitely took note of how harsh my self-criticisms are (I made a joke about how my self-critic is just the remnants of my loud Jersey girl persona) and she also noted how, when talking about my BPD concerns and all of the crying I was doing while explaining this, I was "emotionally charged" and that it was clearly upsetting to me. She asked why I thought that was, and I explained that it was the unknown. If I have it or not, at least there will be a plan of action, but it's the NOT knowing that's distressing to me. I also went on to explain that I tend to negate my experiences/thoughts/feelings/everything else because I've been conditioned to push everything away. None of my concerns were ever taken seriously before, so to take these things so seriously for myself now is just very intimidating and also very, very, very scary.

Overall, she and I both feel like this can be a very good fit and I'm feeling more confident about this pairing than I was yesterday.

Here's to looking ahead to finally getting some answers!

[scriptshrink]

Bad Psychology: Netflix’s “Gypsy” (Part 1)

CW: alcohol, suicide

So Netflix made a show about a “therapist,” starring a woman I forgot the name of who is essentially a Knockoff Nicole Kidman (and thus will hereafter be referred to as “KNK”). In summary, KNK is a therapist who is bored with her marriage and decides she wants to sleep with a client’s ex-girlfriend that she’s heard him describe in therapy.

This show is a garbage fire. It’s so bad. I only managed to watch the first two episodes and I have never in my life regretted wasting as much time as I did on it.

As someone studying to become a clinical psychologist, this show’s portrayal of therapy makes me want to scream and tear my hair out. This show promotes an extremely inaccurate portrayal of therapy that may prevent people from seeking the help they need. It gives therapists a bad name. As such, I feel the need to set the record straight.

[Gif: Picard from Star Trek: “What you’re doing here is unethical. It’s immoral. I’ll fight it.”]

Note - This post has been broken up into two parts: this part deals with my therapy-related critique, and Part 2 will be my general / random thoughts about the show (including the fact that the very title of the show is a racist slur). 

Let’s get started. God help us.

The first time we see her in therapy, KNK is writing nothing but the word “boundaries” over and over in her notes. Very professional. That’s definitely going to help jog your memory when you’re typing up session notes later. /s

Actual dialogue:

Old lady client: I haven't seen [my daughter Rebecca] in two months. She barely answers her phone. So this weekend, when she canceled, I blew up! Why do you think she's avoiding me?

KNK: It's impossible for me to speculate on Rebecca's life. I only have access to you.

Client: I think she's just busy. If she were dating, that would be a good enough reason. I used to hope that she wasn't picking up because she was having sex. [laughs] That would be fine by me, you know?

KNK: I understand your concern, but by giving her space, you might show her that you're respecting her boundaries.

Client: I'm furious... that she won't give her mother any time. Her job is more important. The gym is more important. Even her weekly blow-out every Monday. That she has time for. And I've been to that salon. It’s really not very nice.

KNK: Rebecca loves you, Claire. Just give it some time. Emotions change like the wind.

[Gif: Morello from OITNB resting her head on her hand, smiling and marveling at the stupidity, “Do you hear yourself sometimes? Like, when you speak?”]

KNK, you cannot say that the client’s daughter really loves her. You said yourself that you can’t speculate about her. You have no fucking idea if it’s true.

Just stop.

Different Client: *tells story about having to drop out of school because she was caught stealing money for drugs and how her mom has lung cancer*

KNK: *uncomfortably long blank stare*

Immediately cut to KNK ordering wine at a coffee shop (in the middle of the day, no less) to try to impress the client’s ex-girlfriend she wants to bang.

BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SHOW ACTUAL THERAPY IN A SHOW ABOUT A THERAPIST

Wait. I think I figured it out. KNK isn’t really a therapist. She’s a fucking voyeur. She doesn’t actually want to help anyone. She is taking lurid pleasure in her clients’ vulnerability and pain.

Oh, and speaking of wine, KNK is drunk or drinking in about half of all the scenes she’s in. She drinks wine at lunch and goes back to see more clients like wtf. 

...Hold on. I take it back, this could actually be a good thing!

[Gif - Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec “Put some alcohol in your mouth to block the words from coming out.”]

Please for the love of god anything to get KNK to stop spewing her unethical nonsense.

Oh, man. The supervision scenes (where KNK meets with other therapists and they discuss their clients and stuff) are fucking hilarious.

KNK: He shouldn't marry her.

Therapist 1: Uh, that's not for us to decide. We're here to address his issues, not make his decisions.

Note - “Uh” here translates roughly to: “what the fuck is wrong with you, did you not pay attention during literally the entirety of your graduate education? We fucking learned this day one and were reminded at least once a month for literal years.”

KNK: I'm sorry. I just feel like we've been hearing about his rampant cheating stories for the past year straight. And now he's getting married.

Therapist 2: Well, behavior change takes a long time. And he's made growth in his commitment to his relationship, so as long as he's showing up for sessions and putting the work in--

KNK: I'm not questioning that we support our patients, but if they keep making poor choices, maybe we need to change tactics. It's just disheartening that sometimes all we can do is help them keep their head above water.

Because respecting your clients’ agency and keeping your clients alive is boring and sad.

Also, KNK could not be more condescending in this scene if she fucking tried. Just fucking look at her:

[Image: KNK looking patronizing as fuck, “I’m not questioning that we support our patients…”]

Therapist 1: Jean, remember, our job is not to do the work for our patients. Sometimes we're just here to listen, to be a sounding board. And realize that you can't fix everyone.

KNK: Yeah, I know. I get it. Trust me, I have tried. But I am just tired of sitting in that office listening to the same old story week after week with no results. It's frustrating.

I dunno, KNK...maybe you could try doing actual therapy, not just sitting in your office twiddling your thumbs while listening to your client?  Like...maybe try CBT or DBT? Teach your client some coping skills?

Oh, right. That would involve a level of competency that KNK clearly does not have.

[Image - KNK at a supervision meeting with other therapists. KNK: “And now she’s questioning the value of therapy, the value of me.”]

Newsflash, KNK - your client is questioning your value because you’re a worthless therapist.

OH SHIT STOP THE PRESSES. She’s actually giving her client homework! Like a real therapist might! I wonder what it is!

Oh. She wants the client to sign an oath not to contact his ex-girlfriend, who KNK is trying to bang.

Seriously, that’s the homework.

Because if he contacts his ex, there’s a chance he’ll find out about KNK trying to bang her.

Fuck you, KNK, you selfish unethical asshole.

Oh, also, a former client of KNK’s is evidently accusing her of something (unspecified as of the end of episode 2). This is KNK’s response.

[Image: KNK: “Yeah, well, she’s borderline. She’ll say anything.”]

Really. REALLY???

Now. It’s an unfortunate fact that some therapists don’t treat their borderline clients well. But what the actual fuck. Do you really want to paint your protagonist as a shitty, awful person?

Oh, wait. Too late.

So a random client shows up and is just sitting in KNK’s office waiting for her, which is potentially a huge breach of the confidentiality of KNK’s other clients.

KNK’s response is to make a snide comment about there being a waiting room, then to proceed to yell at client for being late to the appointment. 

Because wasting a therapist’s time is worse than something that is actually illegal and can result in thousands of dollars in fines. KNK’s clearly got her priorities straight.

KNK then lets that same client fall asleep on the couch in her office. Just in case it wasn’t unethical enough the first time around!

For fuck’s sake.

[Image: A seedy nightclub bathroom. KNK says to her client’s ex who she’s trying to bang: “You’re like a human Rorschach.”]

So she’s outdated, invalid, and meaningless? Sick fucking burn, bro!

Also, Hermann Rorschach, who was in all likelihood human* would like a word. I think the writers meant to say “inkblot.”

Who the fuck is writing this fucking shit.

* Note - the Shrink has no evidence to confirm or deny that Hermann Rorschach was a vampire, werewolf, or other non-human creature.

The absolute worst part comes when KNK’s ‘forbidden’ and ‘dangerous’ relationship with her client’s ex leads to KNK learning something important about her actual client. Namely, that said client has in the past been suicidal after a breakup.

This is slightly important because, you know, said client is currently going through another breakup - and may become suicidal again.

Guess what? KNK NEVER FUCKING BRINGS IT UP IN THERAPY.

She didn’t have to tell him she knows about his past. She could just ask him if he’s having thoughts of suicide - it’s a routine question that therapists ask! A lot! Some therapists will ask it every session!

But no.

KNK legitimately does not fucking care if her client lives or dies.

The only value her client has to her is that she can pump him for information about his ex-girlfriend. She uses her position as a therapist to manipulate her client into serving KNK’s agenda to get laid.

I’m not joking.

Actual transcript:

KNK: You know, I was thinking, Sam, is it possible that you came on too strong with Sidney [his ex that KNK wants to bang]?

Sam: [stammering] What do you mean? Today?

KNK: No, in general. She just seems so independent and free-spirited, from the way you describe her. Maybe she felt claustrophobic.

Sam: I don't understand why you're telling me this.

Me fucking either.

Sam: We were in love, and then she got scared. Decided she needed to experience more shit. More people.

KNK: So she's dating?

Sam: No, she actually told me she’s not interested in any guys.

KNK: So she's interested in women?

Sam: No. What?

KNK: Well, the way you... Anyway, it's very common for young women to dally or try things.

How fucking dare you.

Fuck this show. Fuck everyone involved in producing it. Fuck Netflix for hosting it.

[Gif: John Oliver repeatedly pounding his fists on a table and saying angrily, “Fuck you! Fuck you all forever! You fuck yourself! You go fuck yourself right now!”]

Okay. The Shrink needs to take a break to calm down. Stay tuned for Part 2.

Disclaimer // Support me on patreon. I watch this shit so you don’t have to.

[parksfabray-blog]

Getting bad again| Self-Para

Who: Parker Fabray and her therapist, Rebecca. Mentions of @dominicjamesjones, Avery Jones and grandpa jones.

When: January 17th, 2018.

Where: Somewhere in LA.

Notes: Parker starts to spiral downward again, so she decides to see her therapist and talks about, almost everything.

Triggers: Death, abuse, alcohol, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, medication, therapy.

ooc: Im so sorry this long

Parker knew that she needed to go back to therapy ever since she found out that Grandpa Jones had passed away and things were getting bad again. She pulled up to the office building, knowing that she would less stress by the time she gotten out of the session.  Rebecca was sitting in her office waiting for Parker to come. She had decided that since it has been awhile since she has seen Parker. She was going to cancel all her other appointments, just so they would have enough time. She knows that Parker has come a long way from where she was when she first came to see her. This was why Parker didn’t have to see her as much. But when she got an urgent phone call from Parker, saying that she really needed to see her.  She knew something was up. Rebecca was brought out of her thoughts when her secretary informed her that Parker was here. “Okay let her in” she said grabbing her note pad and pen, walking over to her chair. The secretary walked over to Parker, giving her a smile “Rebecca is ready to see you now. Just walk to her office” she pointed. Rebecca fixed her skirt as she crossed her legs, “Come in.”

Parker was over her head. Between New Years and finding out about the death of Grandpa Jones, she needed to see her therapist. She also knew that she needed to tell Dom about seeing her therapist again, since they weren't hiding anything. Once she opened up the door, she gave her a small smile and closed the door behind her. "Thank you for seeing me." She said as she walked over towards the couch and put her purse down next to her as she put her leg over her other leg. Rebecca faced Parker with a welcoming smile as she leaned over to grab her notepad. “You don’t have to thank me for being here for you when you need me Parker” she assures the girl. She sat in her chair for a minute to study Parker. She could tell just by looking at the woman that she was dealing with a lot of things that she just didn’t know how to deal with on her own. She sighed softly, “So Parker it’s been a while since I have seen you. How is everything going for you?” She asked in concern.

Parker nodded slightly as she heard her and swallowed some as she gotten more comfortable. "Things were, going good for me. Dominic came back into my life and found out about Avery and about Jeremy, my abusive ex-boyfriend." She paused as she licked her lips some and gathered her thoughts. "We went back to Ohio for the holidays, it changed for me. The reason why it changed for me because part of me knew it was a bad move but the other part knew that the Jones' needed to meet and get to know their granddaughter. So I was happy with that and I’m glad that I gotten to spend the holidays with them because they welcome me into their home like their own, but the other part of me knew it was a bad move, because of the things that I left behind. My no longer family, bad memories mixed with good because of Dom and his family but I ended up having a panic attack in a store because I saw my ex there and luckily enough that I knew the owner, so he had me go into the breakroom and calmed down in there. I also lashed out at one of my friends because they were talking about their past relationship and they're in a relationship with one of my best friends." Rebecca wrote down some notes as Parker started to talk about things. But stopped when Parker mentioned Dominic came back into the picture. Don’t get her wrong she was glad that Dominic came back and found out his daughter. He needed to be a part of his daughter’s life after all. But she was worried about how all of these changes were affecting Parker. “Wow that’s good news for Avery. And I’m glad that you were able to open up to Dominic about everything especially since you had trust issues with him.” She pointed out, writing more notes. “Yeah I think you made the right choice to introduce her to her father side of the family. But make sure you sit Avery down and talk to her, to make sure she isn’t getting overwhelmed by anything. I know she is just a child. But things can still be a little too much if things are thrown at her all at once” she kindly suggested. Rebecca frowned a bit when Parker told her about her having a panic attack because she seen her ex, which didn’t really surprise her. Parker went through a lot of things because of her ex and his actions. “Other than the time at the store. Have you had any more episodes?” She asked

Parker cleared her throat some. "Have, I’m still working on those." She replied softly. She made a mental note to ask her when she sees her after this. She shook her head as she let out a breath and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "No, I’ve had more depressive episodes but I found out that Dominic's grandfather passed away last year and I’m going through the grieving process with Dom. This past week has been hard on him and I found out that he's been drinking to numb the pain and I had a few drinks when I found out. Avery was with her babysitter and stayed there as well, since we didn’t want to see her parents like that." Rebecca nodded her head as she continued to write more notes.

“Well I’m glad that you are trying to work those issues out. It’s important that you work them out before you go to the next level as far as your relationship goes. But I’m proud of you Parker. I know those issues aren’t easy to overcome” Rebecca smiled softly. She was getting ready to ask more question when she learned that Parker was having multiple depressive episodes and that she was grieving someone’s death “First of all I want to say that I’m truly sorry for you and Dominic’s lost. You have mentioned his grandfather in other sessions. I know it has to be hard dealing with everyone. And secondly, I think I should probably put you on some medications to help with dealing with your depression and your panic attacks” she said softly. She knew that Parker was going to want to be there for Dominic as he grieves and she understands that. But she was worried that Parker was going to forget about her progression and worry too much about Dominic “Parker… I understand that you’re trying to be a good friend and be there for him. But you can’t forget about your own issues as well. And I’m worried that if he spirals out of control you will too.” She sighed. “If Dominic needs someone to talk to. Be that support system that he needs. But also remember that drinking never fixes anything.”

Parker rubbed her hands together as she sat there crisscross after moving a bit on the couch, grateful she was wearing shorts. "Yeah, it’s been hard but he understands about taking things slow and we drew a line when it comes to things intimate. We've kissed and made out, but haven't been romantically involved, quite yet since I’m getting used to the idea of being naked in front of him again. Which, we talked about on New Year’s Eve and thank you, they're not, no but if I want to be with him again, which I do, I have to learn how to trust him fully and whatnot." She shook her head and swallowed some. "Thank you and it is, but I sort of went through the grieving process when Dom and I broke up and it was hard but I’m glad that I can go through it with him and find that closure at some point." She listened to her; felt her heart dropped down when she mentioned medication. "Would I be on them all my life and if, Dom and I wanted more kids in the future, would it affect my fertility?" Part of her knew that it would help with the flashbacks, panic attacks and the depression she found herself in but she didn’t want to have it affect the other parts of her life. She shook her head as she glanced up at her. "I’m not, I just haven't told him everything that has happened over vacation since I've wanted to focus on him and what's been going on with him and he kind of already has someone there for him and I don't know if he wants me there for him." She whispered and swallowed once more. She nodded, knowing that she was right. "I know and I am." She paused some before she looked at her therapist. "I've been wanting to ask him if he sees his drinking as a problem and if so then I’m more than willing to help him find an AA meeting and be supportive of him, I don't want to lose him again, I already lost him and it was hard."

Rebecca nodded her head. “Honestly I just think you and Dominic need to focus on being parents and also just working on the issue of you trusting him with a full heart. I think its right for you guys to hold back on sex or being sexual.” She said softly. She was proud that Parker wasn’t just allowing Dominic back into her life like nothing had happened. She was glad that Parker was learning herself worth and was making Dominic work for her trust. Rebecca smiled softly shaking her head “No it won’t keep you from getting pregnant. And you won’t be on them forever. They are going to help you relax and calm. Once I see some kind of improvements I will gradually help you get off of them.” She assured Parker. She took some more notes, thinking that Parker still had an issue on focusing on others and her too. “I know you want to be there for him and I get it. But Parker, you have to be selfish sometimes and focus on yourself. I’m not saying you can’t be concern or help him go through his mourning process because you can. Sometimes I think the people in your life forget that you are going through a lot as well and tend to put all of their emotions on you.” She said honestly. Rebecca leaned back in her seat as Parker mentioned if Dominic had a problem. “You do realize that most alcoholics don’t realize they have a problem and you pointing it out to him or asking him if he does. Might cause some problem...” she sighed “Parker… if Dominic really and truly loves you. You won’t lose him. And neither will Avery.” Parker swallowed hard as she listened to her, knowing that she was right. She nodded, as she was glad that she wouldn’t be on them forever and it wouldn’t keep her from getting pregnant.

"Okay, thank you. “Parker spoke softly and glanced down. "I just, feel bad when I focus on myself and my emotions because it feels like I’m being a bad friend and like its bad for me to be selfish. I’m always the one who focus on someone else and not on my issues, for a minute I do, I quickly change the subject by saying, enough about me, let's focus on you." She knew that she was right, let out a breath as she rubbed her head gently. "I know...Im also afraid that Im enabling his drinking to a certain point, where he is drinking because of me." She twirled her thumb ring and nodded. "Yeah..."

Rebecca smiled softly and nodded “You’re welcome. I know most patients get nervous about being on the meds. But I can assure you that it’s safe and if it airs you feel out of place or uncomfortable you tell me and I’ll give you something else or we will try another method okay?” She said as she put the note pad down. She sat there quietly listening to Parker explain to her how hard it is trying to focus on herself and her friends. “Parker you shouldn’t feel bad for concentrating on yourself. You have been through a very traumatic ordeal and its best that you focus on getting better for yourself and for your daughter. You can still be there for your friends as they too go through a hard time but you should never forget your progression and its okay to take a time out and breathe for yourself. And I’m sure your friends understand that you have your own issues to work out as well. Maybe you guys could all help each other heel. But never make each other feel bad if you just want to take some time out for yourself.” She pointed out. She felt bad for Parker because she knew that Parker was the type of person that would put others before her and that was something that Rebecca was worried about. Rebecca nodded her head, crossing her legs “Well you drinking with him are enabling him. So maybe the next time you see him don’t drink with him. Maybe talk to him about how he is feeling. If you see him drink. Express to him, in a gentle way how concern you are about him. Maybe express to him that Avery needs both her parents and if he is feeling like alcohol is his only way of coping then maybe he should talk to someone.”

Parker nodded as she listened and started to play with her fingers, as a way to keep herself calm. "Okay." She said. She listened, bit down on her bottom lip as she tried to keep the tears from falling because she knew it was true but there had be a reason why she kept putting herself on the back burner, maybe it was because of what happened between Jeremy and her. Or it could because of her childhood? She wasn't for sure. "I don't know how to focus on myself or don't know why I don't focus on myself, maybe because it means that I’m afraid to admit that I’m a fucked up of a person and that I try to be someone who I’m not. Maybe because I’m not the girl that I was all those years ago and I’m trying to get her back but she's not coming back. I want to be with Dom, I really do but I feel like he already has been through a lot of shit between me and losing his grandfather and not being there. I mean, his ex-girlfriend was there for him on the anniversary of his grandfather's death and was there for him when he gotten the news that he lost him." She wiped away one of the tears that had escaped and let out a shaky breath. "I feel like I shouldn’t be in the picture as someone he should marry and have a happy ending with him because any time we're happy, shit happens and it feels like it’s my fault that it happens. I’m feeling like I should be only in his life as the mother of his child and I know that I can't make that decision for him and I know him. I know that he would stick by my side through this and I feel like he would literally do anything for me, scratch that. I know he would literally do anything for me but I don't want to put him through all of this." By now she was crying and pulled out her Kleenex before she wiped away the tears. She nodded as she sniffed and knew what she was talking about. "Okay, yeah and I told him that if he continues to drink, he won't be around Avery. I don't want her to have a bad childhood like I did; I don't want that life for her."

Rebecca understood Why Parker was feeling like she couldn’t just focus on herself. She has been through so much drama and having to stay strong through it all that she didn’t know how to just stop and focus on herself without feeling selfish or feeling like a bad friend. “You’re right. You’re not the same person you were all those years ago. You are stronger then you were before and you are better person for it. You’re a great friend and a wonderful mother with so much love in your heart. “She smiled softly. She took in everything that Parker was saying but it was like she was taking responsibilities for things that weren’t her fault “Parker… when are you going to stop blaming yourself for what Dominic is going through. Let’s not forget he did abandon you when you needed him most.” She pointed out, nodding her head “But you have been through a lot of things too Parker. And like I said before if you and Dominic are meant to be it will happen. Just keep expressing how you feel. If he doesn’t return those feelings. Then move on and just focus on co-parenting. You are a good person and you deserve to be happy! Always! Always! Remember that.” She said to Parker, hating that she was crying now. “It’s okay to cry and if he loves and adores you like you know he does. Then he will be with you though this long road that you are on.” She sighed. She got up from her chair to get some pamphlets about Alcoholism. She walked over to the couch to sit next to Parker “Here... read them with him... there are phone numbers to places that are holding AA meetings. Just have him go to one. Maybe if he goes it will help him. And you could even go with him for sport.” She suggested.

Parker swallowed thickly as she listened to her and sniffed a bit. "Because if we were still together and if I didn't walk out of the hotel room and stayed with him, then I could've been there for him. I’m the one who broke up with him, I’m the one who left him and kept the fact that he was going to be a father two years ago. I’m the one who decided to walk away instead of working things out with him. Things would've been different, maybe we would've been married by now and maybe had another child but I know I can't go back and change them but learn from them." She said. She let out a shaky breath as she wiped her eyes and pulled her knees close to her chest, something that often she does when she's upset or wants to close off, but in case, she was upset. She let out a breath as she tossed the used tissue into the trash and looked up at her therapist, glanced down at them. She nodded as she grabbed them from her and looked through it. "Okay."

Rebecca understood why Parker felt the way that she did. But she also needed Parker to see that the past is the past. “Parker, we all make mistakes and we all do things that we regret later on in life. But what’s important is that Dominic knows about Avery and you guys can build another relationship. So please stop dwelling on the past and move forward. You have another chance at happiness” she smiled softly, as she watched Parker wipe her tears away. She sighed softly, waiting for Parker to take a few deep breaths before she spoke again. “I think you should take one step at a time and not get inside your own head. I feel like you have come so far and everything that you have been through and trying to overcome is making you strong. You’re a fighter Parker. Always. Always remember that.”

Parker looked at her and ran her hands against her shorts as she listened, knowing that she was right but she didn't feel like she shouldn’t have the happiness. "The past is brought up though; Jeremy's still in my present because of what he had done to me. Dominic's ex is still around, we fought the night he told me about his grandfather and the fact that she was there for him, not me. He brought up the fact that I kept Avery a secret that night. So I feel like he deserves someone who isn't fucked up and deserves someone who will keep him happy. I know that I make him happy, but I don't want him to be settling with someone like me even though he loves me unconditionally." She said softly. She looked at her as she swallowed and let out a breath. "I always get inside of my head and I don't know how to pull myself out. I have, yeah but I’m not a fighter, I’m someone who is surviving, not a fighter."

Rebecca turned slightly “Parker I’m not saying it will be easy for you to move from your past. What you went through was very hard to deal with. It’s going to take time. But the point is you can and you will overcome it. You just need to take one step at a time. Day by day.” She said softly. She frowned a bit when Parker started talking about her and Dominic’ fight. “It’s understandable for Dominic to be upset about the fact that he didn’t know about Avery. But it’s not fair to throw the fact that his ex was there and you weren’t. You were dealing with things just like he was. But that shows that I think you two need to sit down and really discuss things because a parent he doesn’t seem over the fact that he didn’t know about Avery. And if he really wants to be with you or co parent. Then it’s best to get everything out on the table. Because each time you guys fight it’s not fair to through the past in each other’s faces. Especially when what you guys are fighting about has nothing to do with the past.” She pointed out. She crossed her arms as she continue to listen, “Parker I get that you feel guilty about not telling him about Avery and not being there for him. But you got to stop beating yourself up for it. What’s important is that he knows now and he has a chance to be a good father to your little girl.” She said softly. “You are a fighter Parker. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be sitting here with me trying to get the help that you need. You’re fighting for yourself and for your daughter. And that’s all that matter.”

Parker knew that she was right; they needed to talk about things, a lot of things and rubbed her hands together as she spoke. "Do you think it would be helpful if we go to couples therapy?" She asked softly after a while as she looked at her therapist. "That was the first and only time we fought, actually. I don't want to fight anymore, it’s too exhausting and I don't want to go back down that road." She glanced down at her shirt, straightened out and looked at her once more. "Okay." She wiped away a few more tears and licked her lips, nodded slightly. "I want Avery to know that no matter what, her mother hasn’t given up on herself and that her mother is doing what she can to make sure Avery doesn’t have to go to therapy when she is older."

Rebecca nodded her head when Parker suggested that she go to couples therapy with Dominic. “Actually I think that would be a good idea. It would help you guys work out your problems and see where you guys can go from here.” She said softly. She smiled and chuckled “Parker... don’t you see... you’re daughter already knows how strong you are. And when she sees you she sees someone that loves her and that would move heaven and earth to make sure she has the best life. And all you have to do is continue to fight and to continue to stay strong. You got this.” She whispered softly.

Parker rubbed her hands together and nodded. "Okay. Would I be seeing a different therapist than you for that or?" She asked softly as she looked at her and paused when she heard Rebecca chuckle. She listened to her, knowing that she was right and wiped away the tears before she sniff. "She does get upset when she sees me cry."

“Well if you want to keep seeing me you can and I would be happy to meet with Dominic to if he is comfortable with it” Rebecca said softly. Smiled softly and nodded her head “Because she doesn’t want to see her mom sad. But it’s okay to cry in front of her. It shows her that it’s okay to express how you feel whether she is sad or angry. Just explained to her that you’re sad but everything will be okay. She needs that assurance.”

"Okay." Parker replied with a nod, making a mental note to ask him and swallowed some. She listened, knowing that they needed to do that and sniffed, feeling exhausted from all the crying. "Yeah and I'll make sure to stop hiding from her whenever I’m crying." Rebecca nodded her head as she got up to grab her note pad “Kids are smart and they know when there is something wrong. I’m not saying tell her everything that is going on. But yeah don’t be afraid to let her know how you feel” she said realizing that they had been in session for almost two hours. “I want you to keep seeing me okay? I want to help you get back on track.” She said writing some prescriptions down “Here are your prescriptions. Take them as needed” Parker nodded as she listened to her and ran her hands against her shorts. "Okay." She spoke softly as she watched her write down the prescriptions and grabbed them from her. "Alright, thank you." She put the papers in her purpose, slid on her jacket and stood up. "Um. How many days for therapy?" Rebecca nodded with a smile as she leaned against her desk. “I would like to see you at least once a week. And if you need me an extra day all you have to do is make an appointment or if you can’t meet with me. You can call my private line.” She said softly. Parker put her purse over her head and placed the strap onto her shoulder and nodded. "Okay, thank you Rebecca." She replied softly. "I'll go and make an appointment and I'll see you next week." She gave her a smile and headed towards her secretary to make the appointment before she headed home.

[newbyimagines]

Power Rangers: Rainbow Force Part 1: New Team

So this is a new imagine most of it’s original content except a the key concepts like the original back story. I started this a long time ago and want to see what you guys think of it so far feel free to leave comments for me it might be a little rough because I didn’t thoroughly edit. 

Zordon: Alpha Five we have to make a new team.

Alpha: Where am I gonna find those who are brave enough to face the issues of today?

Zordon: We need a group of sassy teenagers from Angel Grove again, but this time we need a more diverse team. They need to be open minded.

Alpha: Leave it to me Zordon.

~Angel Grove University~

-Ron is entering the main lecture building.

Fred: Hey Ron whats up?

Ron: Nothing, hey don’t forget we have a meeting this afternoon after our english lecture.

Fred: I think James has Tryouts for the cheer team tonight and weren't you gonna fight the dean of students about being let on the basketball team?

Ron: As soon as I brought up the idea of someone transexual being on the team he said he had a surprise appointment and couldn't meet until after tryouts. I just can't stand their generation they’re so closed minded and think in the same exact gender roles their parents before them.

Rebecca: Hey guy, guess who just got asked out?

Bonnie: If you don’t respond she’s going to keep asking you.

Fred: Who asked you out?

Rebecca: This supergirl in my biology lab asked me how my independent research project was going and asked if I wanted to talk more over coffee.

Bonnie: She wasn’t that cute she was just nice and probably only wants sex.

Rebecca: You think everyone is just out to get sex.

Bonnie: They are that’s why overpopulation and teen pregnancies are a thing.

Ron: Bonnie you do know those are two very different topics

Bonnie: There still a massive problems in today’s society. Well I’ve got to run or my Philosophy professor will be annoyed I hope James saved me a seat.

~Bonnie leaves to go up the stairs for her class.

~Fred Soon follows suit.

Rebecca: Ron do you ever feel like there’s something more than just what we have here?

Ron: If you’re gonna ask those questions I think you should’ve been in class with Bonnie and James. My personal opinion is that yes and no. From a scientific standpoint I can honestly say there is more than the eye can see but in reality what is there left for us to discover? With the rate of technology I don’t believe that there’s anything that has not been found, in the past all the magic in the world was people’s way of explaining what they couldn't see but now we have the power to see those things.

Rebecca: Okay I was just asking for a simple yes or no from you. So before you launch into a huge thing I’m gonna go get food you wanna join me?

Ron: Sure why not the dining hall isn’t to far from here and my professor called in sick today again. I honestly think he hates our class because it’s canceled at least once a week.

Rebecca:Or he just has a weakened immune system because he doesn't eat healthy enough.

Ron: Please don’t start with the diet and nutrition again I know you want to be a personal trainer but still.

Rebecca: Fine eat all the junk food you want but when you die an early and premature death I can say I told you so.

-Ron and Rebecca give their ID’s to the dining hall attendant before walking in and putting their bags at a table.

Rebecca: I’m gonna grab a salad tell me if there's anything good in the main line.   

Ron:Will do.

***** Time skip to afternoon when classes are done.

James: Okay ron how did you convince the professor to let us into the studio?

Ron: I didn’t I asked the janitor and he unlocked it… I might have said I left my phone in the room and pretended to freak out and I swiped his keys when he wasn’t looking.

Rebecca: Okay you go return the keys to the janitor right now you like pick pocket before you get in trouble.

Bonnie: She’s right if you get in trouble nobody is gonna take anything we do seriously ever again

-Ron walks out of the room and is about to give the keys back before the group is teleported to an unknown location. The room is dark and they can’t see very well.

Ron: Where am I?

Bonnie: Ron is that you?

Rebecca: Okay so we’re not alone. Let me pull my phone out so we can get some light.

James: Is everybody okay? No broken bones or missing limbs?

Fred: We just teleported!

Bonnie: I guess we did. Most of this stuff seems a little outdated I mean jeez look at this it looks like the eighties died in here.

Alpha: My goodness, Aye Aye Aye. I’m sorry Rangers this is the room with our old equipment the teleporter must of still had these coordinates set from a while ago. Please follow me.

-They stood there looking at the robot that had walked in the room.

Part 2?

Master List

[stephenmccull]

A Switch To Medicaid Managed Care Worries Some Illinois Foster Families

Rebecca and Bruce Austin in central Illinois have six kids — ranging in age from 4 to 22.

Five kids still live at home, and all of them came to the Austins through the foster care system. All told, they see 14 doctors.

Many states promise to provide health care to help foster and adoptive families keep kids healthy, but recently in Illinois, thousands of children temporarily lost coverage when the state switched their health plans. Some of Rebecca and Bruce’s children got caught in the coverage gap, which has the Austins wondering whether the state will fulfill its end of the bargain.

Three of the Austins’ children see psychiatrists. One has regular visits with specialists for epilepsy and other health conditions. Another has therapy four times a week for movement and speech delays.

“A typical day is pretty crazy,” Rebecca Austin said in an interview before the coronavirus shelter-in-place orders were issued. “I say I’m a stay-at-home mom, but with all the doctors’ appointments and therapies and appointments and stuff, I’m on the go all the time.”

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Their lives are full and busy already, and Austin is concerned Illinois’ health plan change will make juggling health care even more of a challenge.

The Austins live in Windsor, a rural town about 25 miles from the nearest hospital in Charleston, Illinois.

Since February, the state has been moving all current and former foster children covered by Medicaid into health plans provided by private insurers that contract with the state.

It’s a change to what’s known as Medicaid managed care. The shift has many families like the Austins concerned, because the initial phase of the rollout was rocky and because it’s not clear whether familiar, nearby health care providers will be designated as in-network.

More States Move To Managed Care 

Most states already use managed-care companies to run their Medicaid health plans, which means state agencies pay insurance companies to provide health care to people in the Medicaid program.

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Proponents of the managed-care model say it can lower costs while increasing access to care.

States that switch to managed care often find their budgets become more predictable, because they no longer pay providers for each service. Instead, they pay insurers a set amount per enrollee for all health care needs.

But Michael Sparer, a health policy professor at Columbia University in New York City, said evidence is both limited and mixed as to whether managed care lowers costs and increases access to care. Success depends on whether states hold insurers to their promises to maintain an adequate provider network, he said.

“Network adequacy refers to a health plan’s ability to deliver the benefits promised by providing reasonable access to enough in-network primary care and specialty physicians, and all health care services included under the terms of the contract,” according to the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.

Sparer said success with Medicaid managed care also hinges on whether states “have the ability and have the oversight that’s required to make sure that the program works effectively.”

In recent years, Illinois switched most of the state’s Medicaid enrollees into managed care. Former foster children moved onto those plans on Feb. 1, and current foster children are set to eventually join them. The switch was initially planned for April 1, but the state has postponed the move for at least 30 days, citing the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some child advocates question whether the move is in the children’s best interests.

Many foster children have serious physical and mental health needs, and the switch could disrupt long-standing relationships with therapists and other providers, critics of managed care argue.

For thousands of families like the Austins, this means figuring out whether their children’s providers will still be in-network or whether they’ll have to use new doctors, who might be farther from home.

Austin said her family found a managed-care plan that allowed them to keep most of their children’s providers. But when the February switch was finalized, the Austin children were among the 2,500 former foster kids whose health coverage was interrupted.

Camdyn and Caydance Austin play in Camdyn’s bedroom at home in Windsor, Illinois.(Christine Herman/Illinois Public Media)

The “end date” for her kids’ coverage had been incorrectly listed in the computer system as Jan. 31 — one day prior to the coverage start date, Feb. 1, Rebecca said. This effectively left them without insurance. State officials blamed a glitch in the system for the error.

John Hoffman, a spokesman for the Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services, said in a statement that the agency worked with managed-care organizations “immediately to correct the error, resolving it within days.”

For the Austins, the error meant they had to cancel appointments and had problems getting prescriptions filled.

“My daughter who has epilepsy, her medicine was … a little over $1,000,” Austin said. “I didn’t have $1,045 to pay her for the medicine and, so, we were in a panic as to what to do because she had to have the medicine.”

Phone calls to pharmacies and insurers were onerous, she said, but she ultimately resolved the issue. Still, the Austins’ youngest, 4-year-old Camdyn, missed two weeks of therapy sessions, while they waited for the new insurer to approve them. Austin worries these delays will slow his progress.

Making Medicaid Managed Care Work

Heidi Dalenberg is an attorney with the ACLU of Illinois, which serves as a watchdog for the state’s child welfare agency. She said managed care can be beneficial, helping ensure all kids get regular well-checks and prevent doctors from overtreating or overmedicating children.

But those benefits will be realized only if the state has prepared for the transition and holds insurance companies to their contract requirements, she said. That includes ensuring managed-care organizations, or MCOs, have appropriate provider networks so children have access to doctors close to home.

“When it doesn’t work is when you have an MCO that is more worried about cutting costs and denying approvals for care than they are in making sure that kids get what they need,” Dalenberg said.

A retired federal judge is monitoring Illinois’ efforts to ensure foster children don’t lose access to care in the switch to Medicaid managed care, Dalenberg said.

Hoffman, the state DHS spokesman, said the switch to managed care, provided by the insurer YouthCare Illinois, will help improve health care for current and former foster children by coordinating and providing services.

“Right now, when a family needs a provider for their child, they’re left to navigate a complex system alone,” Hoffman said in a statement. “With YouthCare, families have a personal care coordinator who helps manage their overall care, researches providers and schedules appointments.”

He said the problems caused by February’s glitch have been resolved and will not resurface when 17,000 current foster children eventually get switched into managed-care plans as well.

The Austins’ foster daughter will be among them. And Austin worries her daughter will be forced to switch to a therapist an hour’s drive away, since the one she sees nearby is not in the managed-care network.

“She has established a relationship with that counselor. She’s been going there for almost two years and now we have to start all over again,” Austin said. “And that’s trauma. That’s a huge trauma.”

Illinois said even providers that are not in-network when the switch goes into effect can be paid for services during a six-month “continuity of care” period, and insurers will try to expand their networks during that time.

The Austins are trying to be optimistic, but the state’s track record doesn’t give them much assurance.

This story is part of a partnership that includes Side Effects Public Media, Illinois Public Media, NPR and Kaiser Health News.

A Switch To Medicaid Managed Care Worries Some Illinois Foster Families published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

[gordonwilliamsweb]

A Switch To Medicaid Managed Care Worries Some Illinois Foster Families

Rebecca and Bruce Austin in central Illinois have six kids — ranging in age from 4 to 22.

Five kids still live at home, and all of them came to the Austins through the foster care system. All told, they see 14 doctors.

Many states promise to provide health care to help foster and adoptive families keep kids healthy, but recently in Illinois, thousands of children temporarily lost coverage when the state switched their health plans. Some of Rebecca and Bruce’s children got caught in the coverage gap, which has the Austins wondering whether the state will fulfill its end of the bargain.

Three of the Austins’ children see psychiatrists. One has regular visits with specialists for epilepsy and other health conditions. Another has therapy four times a week for movement and speech delays.

“A typical day is pretty crazy,” Rebecca Austin said in an interview before the coronavirus shelter-in-place orders were issued. “I say I’m a stay-at-home mom, but with all the doctors’ appointments and therapies and appointments and stuff, I’m on the go all the time.”

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Their lives are full and busy already, and Austin is concerned Illinois’ health plan change will make juggling health care even more of a challenge.

The Austins live in Windsor, a rural town about 25 miles from the nearest hospital in Charleston, Illinois.

Since February, the state has been moving all current and former foster children covered by Medicaid into health plans provided by private insurers that contract with the state.

It’s a change to what’s known as Medicaid managed care. The shift has many families like the Austins concerned, because the initial phase of the rollout was rocky and because it’s not clear whether familiar, nearby health care providers will be designated as in-network.

More States Move To Managed Care 

Most states already use managed-care companies to run their Medicaid health plans, which means state agencies pay insurance companies to provide health care to people in the Medicaid program.

More From The Midwest Bureau

View More

Proponents of the managed-care model say it can lower costs while increasing access to care.

States that switch to managed care often find their budgets become more predictable, because they no longer pay providers for each service. Instead, they pay insurers a set amount per enrollee for all health care needs.

But Michael Sparer, a health policy professor at Columbia University in New York City, said evidence is both limited and mixed as to whether managed care lowers costs and increases access to care. Success depends on whether states hold insurers to their promises to maintain an adequate provider network, he said.

“Network adequacy refers to a health plan’s ability to deliver the benefits promised by providing reasonable access to enough in-network primary care and specialty physicians, and all health care services included under the terms of the contract,” according to the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.

Sparer said success with Medicaid managed care also hinges on whether states “have the ability and have the oversight that’s required to make sure that the program works effectively.”

In recent years, Illinois switched most of the state’s Medicaid enrollees into managed care. Former foster children moved onto those plans on Feb. 1, and current foster children are set to eventually join them. The switch was initially planned for April 1, but the state has postponed the move for at least 30 days, citing the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some child advocates question whether the move is in the children’s best interests.

Many foster children have serious physical and mental health needs, and the switch could disrupt long-standing relationships with therapists and other providers, critics of managed care argue.

For thousands of families like the Austins, this means figuring out whether their children’s providers will still be in-network or whether they’ll have to use new doctors, who might be farther from home.

Austin said her family found a managed-care plan that allowed them to keep most of their children’s providers. But when the February switch was finalized, the Austin children were among the 2,500 former foster kids whose health coverage was interrupted.

Camdyn and Caydance Austin play in Camdyn’s bedroom at home in Windsor, Illinois.(Christine Herman/Illinois Public Media)

The “end date” for her kids’ coverage had been incorrectly listed in the computer system as Jan. 31 — one day prior to the coverage start date, Feb. 1, Rebecca said. This effectively left them without insurance. State officials blamed a glitch in the system for the error.

John Hoffman, a spokesman for the Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services, said in a statement that the agency worked with managed-care organizations “immediately to correct the error, resolving it within days.”

For the Austins, the error meant they had to cancel appointments and had problems getting prescriptions filled.

“My daughter who has epilepsy, her medicine was … a little over $1,000,” Austin said. “I didn’t have $1,045 to pay her for the medicine and, so, we were in a panic as to what to do because she had to have the medicine.”

Phone calls to pharmacies and insurers were onerous, she said, but she ultimately resolved the issue. Still, the Austins’ youngest, 4-year-old Camdyn, missed two weeks of therapy sessions, while they waited for the new insurer to approve them. Austin worries these delays will slow his progress.

Making Medicaid Managed Care Work

Heidi Dalenberg is an attorney with the ACLU of Illinois, which serves as a watchdog for the state’s child welfare agency. She said managed care can be beneficial, helping ensure all kids get regular well-checks and prevent doctors from overtreating or overmedicating children.

But those benefits will be realized only if the state has prepared for the transition and holds insurance companies to their contract requirements, she said. That includes ensuring managed-care organizations, or MCOs, have appropriate provider networks so children have access to doctors close to home.

“When it doesn’t work is when you have an MCO that is more worried about cutting costs and denying approvals for care than they are in making sure that kids get what they need,” Dalenberg said.

A retired federal judge is monitoring Illinois’ efforts to ensure foster children don’t lose access to care in the switch to Medicaid managed care, Dalenberg said.

Hoffman, the state DHS spokesman, said the switch to managed care, provided by the insurer YouthCare Illinois, will help improve health care for current and former foster children by coordinating and providing services.

“Right now, when a family needs a provider for their child, they’re left to navigate a complex system alone,” Hoffman said in a statement. “With YouthCare, families have a personal care coordinator who helps manage their overall care, researches providers and schedules appointments.”

He said the problems caused by February’s glitch have been resolved and will not resurface when 17,000 current foster children eventually get switched into managed-care plans as well.

The Austins’ foster daughter will be among them. And Austin worries her daughter will be forced to switch to a therapist an hour’s drive away, since the one she sees nearby is not in the managed-care network.

“She has established a relationship with that counselor. She’s been going there for almost two years and now we have to start all over again,” Austin said. “And that’s trauma. That’s a huge trauma.”

Illinois said even providers that are not in-network when the switch goes into effect can be paid for services during a six-month “continuity of care” period, and insurers will try to expand their networks during that time.

The Austins are trying to be optimistic, but the state’s track record doesn’t give them much assurance.

This story is part of a partnership that includes Side Effects Public Media, Illinois Public Media, NPR and Kaiser Health News.

A Switch To Medicaid Managed Care Worries Some Illinois Foster Families published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[dinafbrownil]

A Switch To Medicaid Managed Care Worries Some Illinois Foster Families

Rebecca and Bruce Austin in central Illinois have six kids — ranging in age from 4 to 22.

Five kids still live at home, and all of them came to the Austins through the foster care system. All told, they see 14 doctors.

Many states promise to provide health care to help foster and adoptive families keep kids healthy, but recently in Illinois, thousands of children temporarily lost coverage when the state switched their health plans. Some of Rebecca and Bruce’s children got caught in the coverage gap, which has the Austins wondering whether the state will fulfill its end of the bargain.

Three of the Austins’ children see psychiatrists. One has regular visits with specialists for epilepsy and other health conditions. Another has therapy four times a week for movement and speech delays.

“A typical day is pretty crazy,” Rebecca Austin said in an interview before the coronavirus shelter-in-place orders were issued. “I say I’m a stay-at-home mom, but with all the doctors’ appointments and therapies and appointments and stuff, I’m on the go all the time.”

Email Sign-Up

Subscribe to KHN’s free Morning Briefing.

Sign Up

Please confirm your email address below:

Sign Up

Their lives are full and busy already, and Austin is concerned Illinois’ health plan change will make juggling health care even more of a challenge.

The Austins live in Windsor, a rural town about 25 miles from the nearest hospital in Charleston, Illinois.

Since February, the state has been moving all current and former foster children covered by Medicaid into health plans provided by private insurers that contract with the state.

It’s a change to what’s known as Medicaid managed care. The shift has many families like the Austins concerned, because the initial phase of the rollout was rocky and because it’s not clear whether familiar, nearby health care providers will be designated as in-network.

More States Move To Managed Care 

Most states already use managed-care companies to run their Medicaid health plans, which means state agencies pay insurance companies to provide health care to people in the Medicaid program.

More From The Midwest Bureau

View More

Proponents of the managed-care model say it can lower costs while increasing access to care.

States that switch to managed care often find their budgets become more predictable, because they no longer pay providers for each service. Instead, they pay insurers a set amount per enrollee for all health care needs.

But Michael Sparer, a health policy professor at Columbia University in New York City, said evidence is both limited and mixed as to whether managed care lowers costs and increases access to care. Success depends on whether states hold insurers to their promises to maintain an adequate provider network, he said.

“Network adequacy refers to a health plan’s ability to deliver the benefits promised by providing reasonable access to enough in-network primary care and specialty physicians, and all health care services included under the terms of the contract,” according to the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.

Sparer said success with Medicaid managed care also hinges on whether states “have the ability and have the oversight that’s required to make sure that the program works effectively.”

In recent years, Illinois switched most of the state’s Medicaid enrollees into managed care. Former foster children moved onto those plans on Feb. 1, and current foster children are set to eventually join them. The switch was initially planned for April 1, but the state has postponed the move for at least 30 days, citing the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some child advocates question whether the move is in the children’s best interests.

Many foster children have serious physical and mental health needs, and the switch could disrupt long-standing relationships with therapists and other providers, critics of managed care argue.

For thousands of families like the Austins, this means figuring out whether their children’s providers will still be in-network or whether they’ll have to use new doctors, who might be farther from home.

Austin said her family found a managed-care plan that allowed them to keep most of their children’s providers. But when the February switch was finalized, the Austin children were among the 2,500 former foster kids whose health coverage was interrupted.

Camdyn and Caydance Austin play in Camdyn’s bedroom at home in Windsor, Illinois.(Christine Herman/Illinois Public Media)

The “end date” for her kids’ coverage had been incorrectly listed in the computer system as Jan. 31 — one day prior to the coverage start date, Feb. 1, Rebecca said. This effectively left them without insurance. State officials blamed a glitch in the system for the error.

John Hoffman, a spokesman for the Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services, said in a statement that the agency worked with managed-care organizations “immediately to correct the error, resolving it within days.”

For the Austins, the error meant they had to cancel appointments and had problems getting prescriptions filled.

“My daughter who has epilepsy, her medicine was … a little over $1,000,” Austin said. “I didn’t have $1,045 to pay her for the medicine and, so, we were in a panic as to what to do because she had to have the medicine.”

Phone calls to pharmacies and insurers were onerous, she said, but she ultimately resolved the issue. Still, the Austins’ youngest, 4-year-old Camdyn, missed two weeks of therapy sessions, while they waited for the new insurer to approve them. Austin worries these delays will slow his progress.

Making Medicaid Managed Care Work

Heidi Dalenberg is an attorney with the ACLU of Illinois, which serves as a watchdog for the state’s child welfare agency. She said managed care can be beneficial, helping ensure all kids get regular well-checks and prevent doctors from overtreating or overmedicating children.

But those benefits will be realized only if the state has prepared for the transition and holds insurance companies to their contract requirements, she said. That includes ensuring managed-care organizations, or MCOs, have appropriate provider networks so children have access to doctors close to home.

“When it doesn’t work is when you have an MCO that is more worried about cutting costs and denying approvals for care than they are in making sure that kids get what they need,” Dalenberg said.

A retired federal judge is monitoring Illinois’ efforts to ensure foster children don’t lose access to care in the switch to Medicaid managed care, Dalenberg said.

Hoffman, the state DHS spokesman, said the switch to managed care, provided by the insurer YouthCare Illinois, will help improve health care for current and former foster children by coordinating and providing services.

“Right now, when a family needs a provider for their child, they’re left to navigate a complex system alone,” Hoffman said in a statement. “With YouthCare, families have a personal care coordinator who helps manage their overall care, researches providers and schedules appointments.”

He said the problems caused by February’s glitch have been resolved and will not resurface when 17,000 current foster children eventually get switched into managed-care plans as well.

The Austins’ foster daughter will be among them. And Austin worries her daughter will be forced to switch to a therapist an hour’s drive away, since the one she sees nearby is not in the managed-care network.

“She has established a relationship with that counselor. She’s been going there for almost two years and now we have to start all over again,” Austin said. “And that’s trauma. That’s a huge trauma.”

Illinois said even providers that are not in-network when the switch goes into effect can be paid for services during a six-month “continuity of care” period, and insurers will try to expand their networks during that time.

The Austins are trying to be optimistic, but the state’s track record doesn’t give them much assurance.

This story is part of a partnership that includes Side Effects Public Media, Illinois Public Media, NPR and Kaiser Health News.

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/a-switch-to-medicaid-managed-care-worries-some-illinois-foster-families/

[dealanddistrictstrokegroup]

Deal &    District Strokes Newsletter JANUARY 2022

     Hello to everyone

Well, we seem to be settling into a more normal pattern and going through January gives us hope for a much happier year with a few more outings available.  It would be lovely to think that Omicron is the last variant and it will all gradually fade away.  

JANUARY 2022

FRIDAY, 7th – Everyone seemed happy with the Bingo at the meeting and it proved to be very enjoyable.  Bruce English was an excellent compare with back up from Pete and the prizes went down very well.

FRIDAY, 20th - Following the pier walk we are staying to have lunch at Aspendos and all has been arranged.  Janet has kindly organised this and everyone going is able to order their food when they get there.  So, 12.30 for 1.00 is the time and hopefully we will enjoy it as much as when we went to Aspendos in Dover (many moons ago).

FEBRUARY

FRIDAY, 4th - The AGM is being held today, together with a talk from George about Smuggling in the Deal area.  George is well known for giving interesting historical facts to the general public in Deal.

Regarding the AGM, the existing committee members are all happy to stand for another year subject to the endorsement of members.  There is a vacancy on the Committee and Pete Savage has put his name forward to add input as a stroke survivor.  There have been no other nominations.

We are pleased to have Wendy Mackenzie as a paid coordinator which has helped to take some of the tasks off the volunteers as well as catching up with other things such as record keeping which had fallen behind.  Part of Wendy’s role is to assist individual members if required and therefore part of her work will of necessity be confidential.  Wendy will also be at the third Friday of the month get-together to assist, as well as taking Tony Eyden to the Thursday pier walk when she can and when the weather allows.  If anyone feels Wendy can be of assistance, please feel free to talk to her.

At this meeting we will start the raffle again and, therefore, ask members to kindly bring a nice raffle prize as a contribution.  No monies will be taken for this but a raffle ticket will be given to all who attend the meeting.                                                                          

                                                                                                                                                           PTO

 FRIDAY, 18th - We are re-visiting the Golf Road Centre lunch/get-together (12.00 noon to 3.00pm) for members on the third Friday of the month for anyone who wishes to have a chat or maybe a quiz or maybe a game of some sort.  Wendy is going to be there for support but will leave the members to organise what they are doing.  This will allow carers to drop off who they look after and leave them to get a few hours to themselves. If anyone cannot get a lift from another member then taxis can be used and charged to DDS. We hope all members who would like to get together will pop-in. If lunch is required at 12.30pm, please remember meals have to be ordered before-hand and Debbie’s No., is 07469 352948.              

MARCH

FRIDAY, 4th - At our meeting today we will be meeting a few animals that will be bought by Safari Pete. This will be such a new experience and really looking forward to maybe a few of us having the chance to hold a reptile (only if you want to, of course).

FRIDAY, 18th – Once again it is the third Friday of the month and the Golf Road get-together will be held between 12.30pm and 3.00pm.  The details are the same as February 18th.

                                                                                   Rebecca has been in contact with people regarding reflexology, however, should you need to contact her to change or cancel appointments please call her on 07970 416504.

Birthdays for January 2022 were: Dave Knappett’s on 11th, Ann Bishop’s on 12th, Terry Holmwood’s on 17th, and Andy Wilmshurst’s and Norm Locke’s are on 30th.  Happy Birthday to you all.

Liz Locke

  Dorthe – (H) 373880 or (Mob) 07929 028016, Ann – (H) 360653 or (Mob) 07760 246543,        Janet (Mob) 07707 684548,  Liz – (H) 612448 or (Mob) 07958 779577.  Wendy’s

(Mob) 07542 448884.

[internetbasic9]

Nature Yale Touted Kavanaugh; Now Comes ‘a Moment of Reckoning’

Nature Yale Touted Kavanaugh; Now Comes ‘a Moment of Reckoning’ Nature Yale Touted Kavanaugh; Now Comes ‘a Moment of Reckoning’ https://ift.tt/2Ii4ca5

Nature

Image

Students at Yale Law School held a sit-in on Monday to protest the nomination of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.CreditCreditRebecca Lurye/Hartford Courant, via Associated Press

Students and faculty members from Yale Law School packed the campus’s largest church on Tuesday for a hastily arranged town hall, where they spoke about the sexual assault allegations swirling around the Supreme Court nominee, Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh, a 1990 graduate of the school.

That was after a campus sit-in that prompted the cancellation of many classes, and protests in Washington, D.C., where two of their colleagues were arrested, and a blistering email that a group of students sent out to their classmates and faculty that said that the Kavanaugh nomination had exposed “our entire school’s culture of legal elitism and fixation on proximity to power.”

It was an abrupt shift on campus. In the days after Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination in June, the school’s website boasted that, if confirmed, he would be the fourth sitting member of the Supreme Court who had gone to Yale. The school’s dean, Heather K. Gerken, called him “a longtime friend to many of us in the Yale Law School community.” Other professors praised him.

Now, in the wake of recent troubling allegations linked to the school, the authors of the email said many students felt even more “alienated, disillusioned, and frustrated with the ambivalence and moral abdication of this institution, its faculty, and its administration.”

The furor over the nomination was “a moment of reckoning for all of us.”

Yale Law School, long regarded as one of the best in the country, has always stood out as an intimate, largely liberal bastion with a nonpareil track record in propelling graduates to prestigious court clerkships and white-shoe law firms. And the pinnacle of accomplishment, arguably, is a seat on the Supreme Court, where a Justice Kavanaugh would join the Yale alumni Clarence Thomas, Samuel A. Alito Jr., and Sonia Sotomayor.

But these days, Yale is experiencing an unusually intense bout of existential hand-wringing, buffeted by the allegations against Judge Kavanaugh, the paroxysms of the #MeToo movement, and a more diverse, politicized student body uncomfortable with the privilege of an Ivy League pedigree, even as it actively pursues it. The school, student activists now say, has been overly obsessed with burnishing credentials, turning a blind eye to concerns about the behavior of its alumni and faculty.

Image

After accusations of sexual misconduct emerged against Judge Kavanaugh, posters went up around the law school.CreditJessica Hill for The New York Times

What has compounded the tensions, students and faculty say, is the confluence of other sex and status controversies swirling around the school. Last week, the Guardian reported that Amy Chua, one of the school’s star professors, had told female students they needed to have a “certain look” in order to clerk for Judge Kavanaugh, a charge she has denied.

Her husband, Jed Rubenfeld, also a star professor, said he is under investigation by Yale, though he said he did not know why and the school would not comment. And critics have said the school should have known about Alex Kozinski, a prominent federal judge who abruptly resigned last year after multiple women accused him of sexual harassment, for whom Yale students often clerked.

The school’s administration said that its initial reaction to Judge Kavanaugh’s choice was in keeping with its response to other high-profile nominations involving alumni, including that of Justice Sotomayor, a liberal on the court, and that it was meant to be nonpartisan. Among faculty members who praised him was Professor Akhil Reed Amar, a liberal constitutional scholar, who later wrote a New York Times opinion article arguing in favor of the appointment. (Mr. Amar has subsequently said that he had second thoughts in the wake of the sexual assault allegations.)

At the time, there was a muted reaction from the faculty on campus, though a group of students and alumni signed an open letter denouncing what they perceived as the school’s endorsement, arguing against Judge Kavanaugh, a conservative, on political grounds, saying that he “is a threat to the most vulnerable.”

Alyssa Peterson, a third-year law student, was among those who signed it. The law school, she said, “has a lot of internal reckoning to do.”

But as the fall semester began and the accusations against Judge Kavanaugh, first lodged by Christine Blasey Ford, and then by a member of his Yale undergraduate class, Deborah Ramirez, emerged, the anger at the school boiled over. Many invoked comparisons to Justice Thomas’s confirmation hearings in 1991, when another Yale Law graduate, Anita Hill, accused him of sexual harassment. Justice Thomas is also conservative in his views.

When asked about students’ concerns, Dean Gerken said in a statement that “this conversation has been a long time coming.”

Image

Students from Yale Law School joined demonstrators against Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination in the rotunda of the Russell Senate building on Capitol Hill in Washington on Monday.CreditErin Schaff for The New York Times

She continued: “Our students are calling upon the best values of this institution, and we are listening carefully. This is a moment of reflection for this institution, and we will do our best to answer our students’ call and work in partnership to make sure we live up to those values.”

The momentum has shifted so much that law students at Yale who describe themselves as conservatives and who signed a petition supporting Judge Kavanaugh say that they dare not speak out publicly, for fear of being ostracized.

“It would just be a total land mine explosion to speak about this publicly,” a second-year student said, speaking anonymously because of fear of what he said was a “culture of intimidation.” “If you don’t believe Dr. Ford, then you are sexist. You’re just an evil person.”

At the center of the debate has been the issue of clerkships, prestigious appointments to work with judges that burnish a young lawyer’s resume and can help propel them to the legal profession’s heights. Clerkships have become even more prized by prospective law students in recent years, especially after the legal profession was jolted by the financial crisis of 2008, said Asha Rangappa, a former associate dean and graduate of the law school, who is now a senior lecturer and director of admissions at Yale’s Jackson Institute for Global Affairs.

Judge Kavanaugh was among those who had clerked for Judge Kozinski, and Judge Kavanaugh has said that he did not notice anything amiss.

Last week as Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination was caught up in the sexual assault allegations, some students became upset at comments by Douglas Kysar, a deputy dean. Mr. Kysar said Yale had known for years about boorish behavior by Judge Kozinski, a federal appellate judge in California. The students, however, interpreted his comments to mean Yale had known about sexual harassment complaints. Mr. Kysar later said that “I always wish I had done more.”

That strained credulity with one student, Dana Bolger, who tweeted: “Do More Now.”

The school has also worked to widen the pool of those who become clerks, and Ms. Chua, who is also the author of the parenting book,“The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” has been one of the most effective mentors for women and students of color, Ms. Rangappa said.

Image

The Yale Law School Library on Tuesday.CreditJessica Hill for The New York Times

The Guardian, quoting anonymous students, said that Ms. Chua told students it was “no accident” that Judge Kavanaugh’s female clerks “looked like models” and advised female students about their physical appearance, in essence condoning the practice.

Ms. Chua, who is not teaching this semester as she recovers from what she said was major surgery, forcefully denied the account in a statement: “Everything that is being said about the advice I give to students applying to Brett Kavanaugh — or any judge — is outrageous, 100 percent false, and the exact opposite of everything I have stood for and said for the last 15 years.”

Some notable alumni took to Twitter to defend her. J.D. Vance, the author of the best-selling “Hillbilly Elegy,” praised her record as a mentor and said that “if you want poor kids and other nontraditional students to succeed at Yale, you should reward her and then clone her.”

Almost simultaneously, Ms. Chua’s husband and fellow law professor, Mr. Rubenfeld, said that he was being investigated by the school. In a statement, Mr. Rubenfeld said that “I do not know what I am alleged to have said or done.”

Yale would not comment on the investigation but an email letter that was circulated among Yale Law School alumni in recent weeks said that it was for his conduct with female students, though no specific accusations have been made.

Last week, students plastered the campus with posters and organized both the protests on Monday and the town hall on Tuesday, which was open to only law school students and faculty.

Harold Hongju Koh, a professor and former dean of the law school, said that the recent tumult was of a magnitude that he had witnessed only a handful of times since he began teaching at Yale in 1985.

“It’s a tense time in the country,” he said. “It’s a tense time at the university. But I think it’s very healthy and necessary. Elite institutions get so satisfied. Who are we? What do we stand for? Are we being true to our values? It’s a constant struggle for defining the identity of the institution as times change.”

Tyler Pager in New York and Amy Cheng in New Haven contributed reporting

Read More | https://ift.tt/2NJqdVo |

Nature Yale Touted Kavanaugh; Now Comes ‘a Moment of Reckoning’, in 2018-09-27 00:42:27

[xbostonsfinestx-blog]

Christian

”Rope, cable ties, and masking tape, is that all you will be needing Mr.Grey?" a woman around the age of 23 stood in front of Christian, she was one of the fill in at Clayton's largest independent hardware store in the Portland area. For many years now Christian has traveled outside his comfort zone and shop at Clayton's for his supplies. He could easily go to a place in the city, but wanted to keep his private life personal. Especially with the tabloid that constantly follow him he would never catch a break especially walking out of a store with rope and tape. He could only imagines the newspapers the next day saying "Christian Grey walking out of store, rape kit ready for the weekend." Christian handed his card to the woman, brushing his hand against hers, sending a wave of heat towards the woman who instantly blushed. Christian just smirked knowing the effect he had on the woman around him. Paul Clayton, the bother of the owner came by looking at the woman and Christian. He could feel the tension the girl was giving Christian. "Hello Mr.Grey, lovely to see you around again, I hope our new intern is helping you very well." Christian took his car back and nodded his head. "Quite well, she seems to know her rope, and tape when I asked for help. Rebecca thank you for your divine help." With those words the woman blushed again, turning as a customer asked for help. Christian left the store to head back to his home.

Click clack click clack, the sound of Christian's assistant heels click to the ground with an awful clank. It was a business days, and Christian was to be interviewed by a woman name Katharine Kavanagh, who writes for their student newspaper at Washington State."Mr. Grey your 10 o'clock is here" Christian nodded his head letting her know he was ready for the interviewer. Christian wasn't the type of man to do many interviews, but he granted it since she had been harassing him for months now. He wanted to really just wanted to shut her up. Instead of Katherine a small bashful woman, Anna Steele came instead. The interview went without a hitch, Christian end up canceling the rest of his appointments that day just to finish their talk. There was something about Miss Steele that caught Christian's interest. To be honest she was just his type for his personal life, at first he wasn't going to purse anything, but how could he miss the perfect opportunity to have a new pet?

Calling a few people Christian was able to pull some strings, and found out where Miss Steele worked. To his astonishment she had been right under his noses. She was working at Clayton's, but he had never seen her? He found it quite odd, but almost a destiny, now he really needed to see her again. Canceling his plans for the day once more Christian got into his car speeding down the way to Portland where he was see his beauty. His beauty. He hasn't even seen her a second time yet he is already possessive calling her his beauty. Walking into Clayton's the air is dry, musty, almost impossible to breath in,coming around the corner he see's Anna and instantly it is like he has taken his first breath of air. She was stunning, beautiful in such ways even Christian couldn't even describe it, oh Anna what have you done? He asked himself before approaching her. "I thought it was you, what a pleasant surprise Miss Steele."


It had been a few days since he had last seen Miss Steele. Her scent still on his mind, her innocence surprised him. Christian was on the way to a meeting, he had stop by the local coffee shop. "Morning Ashlee, the usual please." The blonde blue eyed girl turned and went about to make Mr.Grey favorite coffee mix, which was just plain dark black coffee. She had finished with in seconds heading towards him with a smile on her face. "Thanks again see you tomorrow." He turn to head out the door when he ran into a short brown hair woman. "Son of a bitch" he said to no on in particularly. He watched as the coffee spilled all over himself and the woman in front of him. As he looked closely to the woman he bit his lip trying to figure out her name. She was an old High school friend. "Jade?"

Jade

It was cold as hell in Boston, but then again, what could someone expect in early February? Jade kissed her boyfriend goodbye and left his apartment, heading for her own to get ready for work. As of late, she and her twin brother, Cael, had been experiencing heightened amounts of tension, which seemed to regularly be driving her out of their shared apartment and into Orion’s apartment instead. She didn’t want to crowd him, so she made no attempt at leaving any of her things there, always making the trek back home and then to her office at the bureau. This morning was brutally cold, the gusts of wind cutting through her layers of clothing as she made her way out of her car and into her apartment building. As she stepped inside, she saw the typical scene of her drunken twin passed out on the sofa, a sight that always brought a darkness within her. She hated what Cael was doing to himself. She didn’t understand it. It wasn’t just the drunken state that was troublesome to Jade, but what he did and the words he possessed under the influence. He was harder on her, borderline verbally abusive, which had added a half hour to her morning routine in having to leave Orion’s and get to her own apartment to prepare for work before leaving. Laptop. Files. Briefcase. Pantsuit. Heels. Phone. Keys. She was out the door with twenty minutes to spare. “I could actually beat Flanagan to the office,” she whispered to herself as she walked to her car, getting inside and deciding it meant she would be having a cup of Boston’s best instead of bureau coffee.

In high school, Jade had been quiet and reserved. She tried her best not to bring much attention to herself, as she was socially awkward after the events of her childhood which had permanently altered who she would be. She was withdrawn, speaking very seldom. She did not reach out to others. She dared not to be touched. She felt a deep rooted fear of all men and stuck closely to her best friend Layla, her twin brother Cael, and Layla’s brother Orion. It wasn’t until senior prom that Jade would somewhat resemble a typical teenager when she and Orion attended prom together as dates. That night would spin off a relationship that she never could have seen coming, deeply rooted in friendship and respect, still going on to this day. She and Orion were not overly physical with one another, each of them with their own reasons, but they seemed to be one of the only surviving high school couples out of their school. No one could have imagined that one day Jade would become a cop. No one could have pictured her making her way into the FBI’s Organized Crime Unit. The basics of who she had always been were still there, yet she was a girl on a mission when it came to work, pushing aside most every uncomfortable situation for the sole case she had been working for the past few months.

“Kerrigan.” She spoke into her phone as she walked into the coffee house, hearing the voice of Flanagan on the other end of the line. “Yeah, that’s great. Okay, we’ll move on that this afternoon. Go ahead and brief…” her voice was cut off by Flanagan finishing her thought for her, as he so often did. “Oh that’s cute. I hope you have the skills to back that up.” She hung up the phone with an almost rare small smile to her face. She wasn’t one to smile, unless in the company of Orion, Cael, or Layla, so to nearly flash one now, Flanagan had done something right. As she hung up the call, she immediately scrolled down to Orion’s name, shooting him a text to tell him she loved him and would call him after the mall, which translated to him that she would be undercover and unreachable for the day. The line in the coffee shop was moving along quite nicely, though Jade found herself stuck in her phone. A call. A text. Another call. She’d be lucky if by the time it was her turn, she could actually order without being interrupted. “Kerrigan.” She answered another call, gathering mental information as quickly as she could before ending the call and shooting another text to yet another colleague. Her phone started at 7 in the morning and ended around never, the five minutes in line at the coffee shop standing as proof of just that.

Stepping forward in the line, one more customer standing between her and the best cup of Joe in Boston, she felt the rush of hot liquid drenching the front of her blazer and button down shirt, pouring over her coat draped over one arm. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” She mumbled as she quickly rubbed her hand over the fabric of her suit, attempting to put out the invisible flames that threatened her flesh. “Could you please-“ Her sentence was interrupted as she lifted her chin to see a man before her speaking her name. She studied him quickly, trying to place him. He wasn’t a cop, that much was clear, but she had no idea who he was. Could he have been a witness or a CI that she had worked with when at Boston PD? No. He was clearly neither. “Yeah…” she confirmed her name, searching her memory for his. “I’m so sorry, your name?” She asked, her social awkwardness showing itself, masked in professionalism as she reached to the counter, grabbing a few napkins and attempting to salvage her suit. “Christian.” She stated, the name finally coming to the surface as she dabbed napkins against her now ruined white blouse. “You’re all grown up.” She stated the obvious, as so was she, standing face to face with the suited man from her past. It would come as no surprise that Jade would not reach for his hand in a proper introduction. It would come as no shock that she wouldn’t want anyone to touch her at all, as that had been the way it had been since she was only seven years old. “How are you?” She attempted normalcy, though she felt wildly uncomfortable as she barely remembered the man. -February 12, 2015