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thepunkranger · 4 months

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Resident Evil Characters - A Summary

Note: This is entirely my own opinion and said with a heavy dose of humor

Please enjoy

Chris Redfield

Started as a twunk

Became an angry gorilla man???

Alpha Male™️

Punches boulders

Wants you to marry his sister

Smoker

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife

Rude to wait staff

2/10 - Just a guy. Hit him with your car

Jill Valentine

Other OG

Arguably better main of RE1

Master of Unlocking

Bisexual Bob™️

Butch

Supercop

Once got mind-controlled into going blonde

Rocket Launcher babe

PTSD

Big Strap Energy

Giant anime gun

10/10

Albert Wesker

OG Baddy

Sunglasses

Thinks he’s cool

A little too into Chris

“What are we going to do this game, Albert?”

“What we do every game, Alex: try to take over the world”

Matrix jacket

Maybe a vampire?

Looks like my uncle (derogatory)

4/10

Barry Burton

Bear

A+ line delivery

Just happy to be a part of things

Wishes his daughter would talk to him

Comes through in a pinch

Got lost on his way to The Last of Us

Father figure

Not dead out of sheer dumb luck

8/10

Rebecca Chambers

Baby butch

Sees the best in everyone

Autism be damned, my girl can work a shotgun

Sporty

Mommy Domme/Babygirl switch vibes

Sweet coffee addict

Doing fine, thanks for asking

Awkward thumbs up

9/10

Billy Coen

Bad Boy™️

Never bothered to take off his handcuffs

Tattoos

Mullet???

Moral standards

Strong silent type

Whole situation could’ve been avoided by just talking about his issues but no

Queen fan

7/10

Leon S. Kennedy

If a golden retriever became a human and then got kicked every day of its life

Having a really bad first day

Into dominant women

Dumb 90s haircut

Uses comedy as a coping mechanism

Hair grows in direct correlation to his level of angst

“Hey demons, it’s me, ya boi”

Sexy

Dog lover

Certified Good Boy™️

Fucked up a perfectly good rookie is what you did. Look at it, it’s got depression

15/10

Claire Redfield

College student stuck in the zombie apocalypse

Soft butch

Humanitarian

Forced her brother to teach her how to knife fight

Really into motorcycles

Leather jacket

Rocket Launcher babe #2

Always has at least one adopted child with her

10/10 would ask to babysit

Ada Wong

Mommy. Sorry. Mommy- sorry. Mommy-

Grappling hook

Badass spy

Emotionally distant

Soft spot for cute cuddly things (Leon)

Femme fatale

Book lover

Chaotic neutral

Crossbow 😍

Could step on me and I’d say thank you

Rocket launcher babe #3

10/10

Sherry Birkin

Goosebumps protagonist

Worst parents ever tbh

Surprisingly good under pressure

Please someone get this girl some therapy

Supergirl

Smartest person here

One hell of a shot

The trauma is immeasurable

Somehow still doing fine

Loves her weird adopted family

8/10

Carlos Oliviera

Himbo

First POC main?

Went from three polygons and a white boy haircut in the original to actual gorgeous South American hunk in the remake

Lost his accent along the way for some reason

#1 Jill simp

If Dug from Up was a guy

Only trustworthy person in the whole series

Just wants to help

Gorgeous gorgeous hair

Loves strong women

Hakuna matata

Touch-starved

10/10 would peg

Steve Burnside

Twink

Who is this sassy lost child?

Hot Topic employee

Into Claire (she’s too old for you bud)

Choker

Thinks he’s edgy

Whiny

Daddy issues

1/10

Luis Serra Navaro

If Puss in Boots was a human

The Most Extra™️

Luscious flowing locks

Definitely into bondage

Used to work for Umbrella

Trying to make up for it

Don Quixote references

Bisexual

Good with his hands

Praying for a threesome with Leon and Ada

10/10

Ashley Graham

Basic white girl

Always getting kidnapped

Master of Unlocking #2

Razor flip phone

Ada Wong bisexual awakening (same)

Good with a wrecking ball

Makes Leon catch her every time she has to jump a ledge (also same)

Would like to go to Hot Topic, please

7/10

Sheva Alomar

Player 2

Second POC main

Bad AI

Too good for her game

Willing to go on a suicide mission with a guy she just met

Left handed

Deserves a better stylist

Only good part of RE5

Literally my girl got done so dirty just give her another chance please

10/5

Moira Burton

“It’s not a phase, dad!”

Probably gay

Weak arms

Skillz

Box dyed her hair at least once

Simple Plan playing in the background

Childhood trauma

7/10

Piers Nivans

Trying his best

Appreciates a good steak

Sick of Chris’ bullshit

Good with a rifle

Just a good man

German Shepherd boy

Self-sacrificing

8/10

Jake Muller

Wesker’s son

Daddy issues

Who invited Ronan Lynch here?

Quips for days

Bad boy

Loves the type of woman who can kick his ass

The Most Edgy™️

9/10

Ethan Winters

Husband of the year

Trusting

Surprisingly chill

The most basic white man in all of RE

Hands? What hands?

Functionally a lizard

Would still love you if you were a worm

Just casually knows how to craft bullets

Moldy

8/10

Mia Winters

Toxic girlfriend energy

Literally possessed

Dark sense of humor

Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Casually working for a bioterrorism organization

Does actually care about her family

Definitely doesn’t have a penicillin allergy

If you can’t be the girl of his dreams, you can at least be the feral swamp witch of his nightmares

2/10

Zoe Baker

Lesbian

Mold intolerance

Southern accent thicker than grandma’s gravy

Picked last on the playground

Somehow okay despite her brother being Like That

Joe’s favorite

Science skills

8/10

Lucas Baker

Jigsaw

Didn’t even need the mold

Probably got at least one true crime documentary made about him

Working for Mia’s bioterrorism organization

Left his classmate rotting in the attic

Just the worst

0/10

Alcina Dimetrescu

Mommy

Please step on me

Elizabeth Bathory vibes

Just fucking huge

Can turn into a dragon

Lesbian

9/10

Karl Heisenberg

Grimy

Tumblr Sexyman

When robotics majors get weird

Fights with his siblings

Doesn’t actually care at all about Miranda

In cahoots with the lycans

7/10

Rosemary Winters

Mommy and Daddy issues

YA protagonist

Badass

Childhood trauma

Into the Mold-verse

Alternate universe Sherry Birkin

8/10

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sylvies-chen · 1 year

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ok since the last one blew up I figured I would do this again so

TED LASSO EPISODE 3 THOUGHTS:

diversity win! the silly ridiculous welsh man on your favourite football team is gay!

no but in all seriousness the colin storyline is really interesting, I like that they’re kind of playing this storyline as him not being out to the team and maintaining the sort of heteronormative facade that is expected in the very dude bro culture of football BUT without the internalized homophobia element this time which is normally included. like he doesn’t *seem* to be repulsed by his own sexuality in any way and his boyfriend is more than willing to sit with him for a night pretending to be just friends so I really like that they’re a healthy couple who seem to respect each other’s boundaries with sexuality

I also think ultimately, even if he slips up or is tempted to do something with this information, that TRENT WILL DO THE RIGHT THING IN TRENT WE TRUST

rebecca hinting at her psychic appointment and ted appearing immediately WORK WITH ME HERE SOULMATISM also noticed that thigh touch oop-

roy training jamie??? oh this is going to be comedic GOLD

it’s definitely bad that jamie’s right though. like, actually right about something for once???

zava is a much different kind of diva then expecting, in that he’s not so much a diva as he is a cult leader. uhh…. adorable! 😀

also wait MMM THE PSYCHIC TROPE OMG IMA EAT THAT UP EVERY TIME also guys. guys I can already smell the reactions to the green matchbook thing coming from miles away. we don’t need to worry! the matchbook was literally the first thing she mentioned of many things, it in no way means sambecca is endgame so we can all breathe. the family rebecca is a mother to is the AFC richmond family of course!!! and the shite in nining armour is most likely the guy that the whole of england has been calling names since his arrival, mr ted lasso himself!!

also OOH OMG SHE’S PREDICTING THE WATER SCENE WHERE REBECCA’S GOING TO FALL IN and the way she grabs rebecca’s hands when she says “but you’re safe” calling it now that ted will pull her out and make her feel safe sifjsifkskfkd 🥺

michelle dating her former marriage councillor is all kinds of weird and YES, unethical!! thank you to sassy for pointing that out! we love her for it

final comment: sam’s restaurant seems like SUCH a vibe oh my god I’m so proud of my baby for creating a community out of bits of his culture from his home, trying to bring home to england and celebrate with his richmond family ugh his big heart I can’t 😭

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #tedbecca #rebecca welton #sam obisanya #jamie tartt #zava #colin hughes

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istarveforplatonicptnstuff · 5 months

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Chameleon, as your psychology professor pt.2

An: Here we go again... 😀 The way that I never anticipated that it would gain so much traction... 😶 I think I wrote this while I was visiting the Floptropica islands...

- A few months have passed, Rebecca had made you her favorite student to talk to 🤨 Your anxiety around her lessened, but it didn't mean that you didn't have it anymore. After the class, she would ask you to stay behind sometimes, making people suspicious between about your relationship with Rebecca... Like wdym stay behind class? 🤨🤨🤨 Are you secretly Rebecca's cousin? Or MAYBE you're her long lost younger sister??? 🤩🤩🤩 Do ya'll even look alike??? 🤔 This people smh... 😶 You and your professor talk about normal stuff, ranging from the how was the class to your anxious state, in which you happily reported to her that you weren't too anxious there days. Girlie is curing you slowly but surely by the power of ✨psychology✨ - Though, you started to suspect something about your professor, making it a little difficult for you to talk to her, because you recently found out about "Suspect R" from the news, and how eerily similar the descriptions were matching between her and the suspect... 😨😨😨 Sis, what is going awnnnn? 😫 Of course, your professor didn't miss the way how your behavior changed, causing her to chat with you one day, pocket watch in hand. Typical hypnotism, of course.. 😐 EXCEPT, it didn't work??? 😯 on YOU??? 🧐🧐🧐 POOKIE was confused, very confused. Like wdym it didn't work??? You're supposed to get hypnotized? 🙄 You unknowingly made things harder for her. 🤐🤐🤐 - After staring 👁👄👁 at the pocket watch just like she asked, you start asking her about how she came to this job. She answered that she knew a friend, and that friend recommended her to this university. You didn't buy it 😃 Sis, you were ON to something 🤫🤫🤫 You have a feeling that things weren't just this simple. In fact, it was TOO simple 🧐 that you decided to investigate like Scooby-doo 🍦🐕‍🦺 Sis didn't anticipate that. Maybe you should've just stayed, curious? 💀 Oh, she definitely COMING to get you, you think? 😔 Count your days pookie... 😰😰😰 After that, there was this... weird tension between the two of you whenever you talked with her. 😟 Pookie... Remember when I said I cannot keep giving ya'll plot armor...? Now is the correct time to rethink your decisions in life pooks 😿😿😿 I FEAR 😨 you are NOT coming out of this ALIVE ☠☠☠ - You decide to research more about "Suspect R", finding out more and more similarities between the two, you start to get more suspicious day by day... Even after two semesters have passed, you COULDN'T just shake the feeling that she was NOT who you thought she was... Meanwhile, Rebecca was STRUGGLING 😰 to get you to STOP from finding out more about her ✨mysterious✨ background like girl... Don't ruin the mystery 😩 You're making it harder for her to keep her job 🥺 Sis, I beg of you to STOP before she gets sniffed 🤧 out by local police force and co. 🛐🛐🛐 Pookie... What you didn't know Rebecca already had anticipated the arrest when she was at her clinic... So, when she disappeared suddenly, you kinda missed her??? 😔😔😔 Like wdym where your favorite professor was??? 😕 The way you searched 🔍🔍🔍 for her endlessly, asking teachers, students left ⬅and right ➡ The title was misleading guys, she ain't your professor no more 😶 - That it was so BAD, that it cured your anxiety ridden state, after initiating conversations yourself 😶 Congrats??? Years passed, and you finally graduated from the course, without signs, from your professor Rebecca... Sis was probably your roman empire... You went on with your life a bit, becoming MBCC's resident psychologist. Surprise, surprise, you're chief's cousin 🤪🤪🤪 so, your cuz personally recommended you to work at the MBCC as their psychologist, making you a menace for both sinners and Nightingale to watch out for 😈😈😈 Like wdym a sinner walked out crying from laughing too much??? Or adjutant Nightingale GIGGLING because of YOU 😔 Pookie, phone down rn... I just want to talk 😊 (Give me your humor rn)

- Chief was talking about an individual who kept going in and out of jail. She was an elusive individual, she sneaky in 5 year old terms 🐱‍👤 Sis had to explain to you like you were 5 since you asked her to translate in Spanish because your 5-month streak in the green bird app 🦉🟢 wasn't all for NOTHING 😇 Chief was NOT having it lmao, she made you TIMEOUT like you were 6 😭😭😭 Girl, don't try to play with Chief because she DON'T play, she's TIRED 😑 24/7. So sis hands you a file and pookie, you were in for a shock. REBECCA?? 👩‍🦰 As in the PROFESSOR REBECCA??? 👱‍♀️👱‍♀️👱‍♀️ Your psychology professor from before??? 😲😲😲 WHAT? 😰 Sis, turns out you WERE right about her. But like still, your psychology professor who disappeared mysteriously for 3 years suddenly showing up and suddenly came back with milk 🥛 on HAND... - Imagine her surprise seeing you walk right in for HER psychological evaluation... Babes was amused to see her student from before, became her psychologist... Like wow, the tables have turned. Okay then, sis she was like show me what you got 💅 Before you went straight down to business you were like "SISTER, where have you been???" Making her flabbergasted 😮 at the 360 personality switch, like was this the same student she was talking to from before??? 🤨🤨🤨 Girlie couldn't believe that you casually sat down and went on to say like "Sooo, this is where you've been 😊 babes where were you??? How'd you even get into prison? Okay like... I know you were doing something illegal and stuff like that but, still? They allow you to SLAY in prison uniforms??? 👠👠👠 Sister, you look SNATCHED with orange 🤩🤩🤩 - Sis was still recovering from the shock on how you basically went on a half-hour rant about how you got into the MBCC, and how you are chief's cousin, and like how you was SEARCHING for her because her favorite professor went missing... Wait. You considered her as your favorite professor? 🥰 Pookie was happy to hear that, but she needs to sit down first because she was too shocked to see the CHANGE in you that she forgor (intentional misspell 😌) to SIT down 🧍‍♀️

She was sitting in this SLAYING pose that you couldn't help but say "GIRL, What's with the..." Fingers snapping "Pose... It's giving... Office siren like yasss slay queen 💅💅💅" Again, your professor didn't expect the personality change like??? What happened when she was gone and what's with the slangs pooks...? 🤭 You had to explain what that meant and she was like "Thanks... Pookie?" Ooh the way we all giggled when miss maam attempted to use the slangs 🤭🤭🤭 Okay, after the interrogation you two became BESTIES 😌 Yes, you heard that right you two, besties.

There would be a couple of times where you guys end up collaborating or it's either you were assigned on a dispatch mission, yes you can also SERVE❗❗❗ The country 😾 You're giving FIERCE while she serves FACE the whole time, we all know that her face card never declinesss so, obviously you would drop a few comments like "Stop serving FACE, I'm getting distracted babes" And she's like "I need to keep SERVING pooks so we can stay alive 🥰🥰🥰" The way that you FOLDED when she was using the language of slaytology when you guys talk, like it's exclusive for YOU 🥺🥺🥺 Pookie... Wdym the Rebecca, talks to you in ✨slay✨ terminology??? 💅💅💅

Anyways, she asked you how you were able to resist her hypnotism before, and you just basically responded, my LASHES were too long from that time, and oh you wore CONTACTS? 🤨 How does that affect her hypnosis??? 😃 Sis, maybe it's genes that ran between you and chief... But you didn't know that.. 😶 An: I ran out of brain juice on how to proceed with the second installment because head empty, thoughts are FULL of air 💨 rn... *Goes mia for now, be back writing for the other stuff* TOODLES!

#path to nowhere x reader #path to nowhere #platonic ptn #ptn #ptn x reader #platonic path to nowhere x reader #ptn chameleon #ptn chameleon x reader #suspect r x reader #ptn suspect r

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hopefulromances · 1 year

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Long Time Coming I Chapter Ten I Here We Go Again

Summary: Being hired as the first female assistant coach in the league was a challenge of it itself. Being a football protigy and University Football Legend was easy enough. Coaching Jamie Tartt was a challenge all on its own.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warning: None?? That I can think of?

A/N: Enjoy

Prologue One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine

Have you ever smelt miles and miles of poop surrounding you? I hadn’t either until Ted’s big plan to get the guys spirits up. But now that smell was stuck in my nose. Even if it was just poopeh.

I stood on the pitch, one foot on the ball. It was the beginning of a new season. A new start. Which I was thankful for. The past few months since the end of the last season, and the excitement of the promotion, had been an emotional whirlwind and I was excited to finally have something to focus on. AFC Richmond had a chip on its shoulder the size of a boulder going into the season and all eyes were on us. Unfortunately, most of the odds were stacked against you even Paddington Bear had the odds against you.

But things were different this time around. Richmond was stronger, more put together than ever. This team was on the brink of being the greatest, all they needed was the right push. What that push was going to be, I couldn’t say.

I took a step back and punted the ball down the field watching it as it fell, down, down before bouncing once then into the goal.

By the time I made it back into the building, the halls were bustling with life. Various greyhounds coming into the locker room, various staff walking in and out of rooms, all the signs of an active football club. I made my way up to Rebecca’s office to meet Keely. Since she was becoming a big CEO and all, she wouldn’t be at the club as much.

She left Rebecca’s office with Ted and Higgins following closely behind.

“(Y/N) (L/N)!” Ted greeted. “What are you doing here?”

“She’s here to see me, of course!” Keely told him, coming over to loop her arm with mine.

Ted put his hand over his heart in feigned offense. “And here I was thinking she was here for me.”

“Sorry, Ted,” I said, leaning against Keely. “I’ll be sure to set up our morning chat later.”

As Keely and I headed down the stairs, we chatted about the off season and Keely’s exciting new job. We reached the bottom of the stairs where we were met by Isaac leaving the locker room. He asked her for a shoe deal. Not a brand deal. Just shoes. I glanced over and saw Jamie walking down the hallway with Bumbercatch and Colin. We made eye contact for a moment before I tore my eyes away from him to look over at Colin.

“Hey, Colin.” I approached him instead. “How’s it going?”

“Hey, (Y/N).” He smiled at me. “Bumber and me were just talking about going to see some music this weekend, do you want to come?”

I glanced over at Jamie again who was now talking to Keely. “Oh, I wish. I actually have plans.”

“Oh, too bad. But next time year?”

“Definitely!”

Finally, Keely and I were done dealing with the hordes of footballers and we could finally chat. That was until Roy approached us. I knew enough about their situation to back off for a moment, give them a second to chat. I felt Jamie’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my head, but I refused to look. I couldn’t look. I didn’t trust myself to look. So, I just waited, staring at literally nothing.

Finally, Keely was done and walking down the hallway. I rushed after her, not acknowledging the boys behind me.

“Keely! Wait!” I called rushing after her. “What was that? With Roy?”

“Oh, that? We… we uh… broke up!” She said it like it was nothing. Like she hadn’t just dropped the biggest bombshell of my life.

I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me. “What?”

“We haven’t really told people, but yeah…” She shrugged then looked at her watch. “Look at that! I have to go.”

“Keely! You can’t just-“

“Gotta go, Barb’s waiting for me.”

“Keely we’re gonna talk about this!”

“Later!”

And she was off, leaving the club. I shook my head in disbelief. I turned around just intime to see Jamie leaving the boot room with Roy. We made eye contact. I started backing away slowly, and Jamie started walking towards me. Step by step I backed up until I hit a wall and Jamie was standing right in front of me.

“(Y/N).”

“Jamie.”

Then he was kissing me. I gasped in surprise but kissed him back for a moment before pushing him off of me.

“Jamie, not here.”

He pouted at me as I pushed past him. “No one’s around, I checked.”

“You did not check, you said my name then you were kissing me,” I pointed out peaking around the corner before turning back to face him.

“I know, I know, just…” He leaned against the wall next to me. “How long do we have to keep it a secret?”

Deciding to stay private for a while was my idea. If it were up to him, he’d be on me all hours of the day and while that idea sounded really nice, I needed time to have him to myself. Just us.

“Just until… the season gets started,” I decided on saying. “People aren’t nice to me in the press and I don’t want to give them another reason to hate me.” Jamie pouted, grumbling something about not caring what people say. I turned to face him, bringing my hands up to rub up over his shoulders. “Look, for now we’re theirs but when we get home, we’re ours. It’s better this way.”

Though I didn’t sound too convinced myself. It broke my heart to keep Jamie a secret, and I know it was hurting him as well. But my worst fear was going public and hearing all the reasons we shouldn’t be together. He deserved better than me, or I was the reasons we weren’t playing well. Whatever they could find to tear us apart.

“Ours, I like the sound of that, love,” He crooned, smirking at me.

“Yeah… ours,” I echoed him, matching his smile. I saw him start to lean down to kiss me but panic shot through me so instead, I stepped back and started down the hallway to the locker room. I heard him stumble behind me and let out a curse, but I continued forward.

The locker room was a mess. The boys were up in arms about the Roy and Keely break up, something to do with signing Zava, and Trent Crimm for some reason? Jamie wasn’t far behind me but I tried not to notice him as he came in and stood to the side.

“Why would Zava write a book about Trent Crimm?” Zoreaux shouted in confusion. I walked into the room looking around at the chaos.

“Hold on a second!” Ted silenced the room. “If y’all didn’t know about Zava, which may or may not happen…”

“We’re getting Zava?” I muttered to Beard.

“Possibly,” He replied.

“And y’all didn’t know about Trent Crimm, which is happening…” Ted continued.

“Trent Crimm is writing a book about us?” I asked again.

“Definitely,” Beard confirmed.

“Then what were you so worked up about?” Ted finally finished.

The boys looked at each other, none of them wanting to admit what the issue was. Finally, Sam stepped up.

“Roy and Keely broke up.”

Beard yelped, making me jump. Then Ted fainted.

It seemed the whole league was up in arms trying to get Zava to join them. It was all the boys could talk about as well. Especially Dani. Dani had a weird thing going to be honest. Zava certainly was an amazing player. I’d seen him on the field. He reminded me of Jamie a few years ago. Except he was about 10 years older with a wife and children.

The other weird thing was Roy’s vendetta against Trent Crimm. He’d outright banned all the lads from talking to him about anything. It was weird and personal in a way I’d never seen Roy act before.

“(Y/N) (L/N), first female coach in the league…” Trent started, coming up to me.

“Nope.” I shut him down. Even if I wanted to talk to him, starting the conversation about my place as a woman in a male dominated field was not going to be the way to do it. I walked straight past him into the coaches office.

Roy was smiling at me as I did. “Nicely done, (L/N).”

“I didn’t do it for you, dickhead,” I grumbled, though I was smiling while I said it. I was smiling more than I used to now. Things were going well! The club was promoted, I was with Jamie, and things were finally looking up. So, why on earth did I feel off.

“Jamie! I’m home!” I called into the house as I walked in, juggling a bag of groceries on my hip. There was silence in the house, though. Maybe, he wasn’t here. We hadn’t officially moved in yet, so it wasn’t like we were always together. But usually, after a long day of pretending we weren’t together, he liked to be with me. Then I heard the sound of the TV on. “Jamie?”

I walked into the house and placed my bag of groceries down on the counter. From the kitchen I could see into the living room where Jamie was watching a football game. He was leaning forward, completely engrossed in the events of the game. It was cute to watch him to enamored with the game he loved so much. I came around the back of the couch and placed my hands on Jamie’s shoulders, prompting him to lean back.

“Hey, babe,” I greeted, kissing the top of his head. He hummed in response, his eyes still not leaving the screen. “What game are you watching?” It took me a second to realize he was watching me. That it was my kit on the screen. An old imperial game where I was commanding the field. I stood back, letting my hands fall to my sides. “Jamie… what is this?’”

“It’s you, ain’t it?” He pointed at the screen. “I love this part, watch” I watched as I did a backwards kick to a teammate, sending the ball back to the middle of the field before it was sent back to me on the outside. From there I sent the back flying in a beautiful arch into the goal. “Fuckin’ brilliant it is.”

I watched myself celebrate on the screen, my teammates swarming me and cheering my name. It made my smile remembering those times. But I tore myself away from it before I could get too sucked into the nostalgia of actually playing football.

“I’m gonna make dinner,” I said, turning back into the kitchen.

Jamie hopped up off the couch and followed me. “Why’d you stop?”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you stop playing football?”

I started to unpack the groceries I got thinking on the question. Why had I stopped? I stopped because the second I was out of uni, no one cared about me anymore. I stopped because my mum told me that it was time to get serious, that football wasn’t a career for women. I stopped because everything in the world was against me when I graduated.

“Uh, it just didn’t work out for me, I guess,” I replied, absentmindedly.

“I find that hard to believe,” Jamie returned, coming over to help me put stuff into the refrigerator. “You were top of the league when you graduated. Surely you had offers.”

“It just didn’t work out, alright, Jamie?” I said, shortly, ending the conversation. “Now can you grab me the butter out of the fridge.” Jamie pursed his lips at me, clearly knowing there was more to the story than what I was letting on. But he grabbed a stick of butter and tossed it over to me. “Besides, I like coaching now. I’m good at it.”

That made Jamie smile. “Right on that one, babe.”

I sighed, happy that I was able to get Jamie off the subject of my departure from the game. Of course, I wanted to play football when I got out of college. But there were some words that cut too deep to ignore.

Luckily, we had the upcoming Chelsea game to discuss. Richmond was the talk of the town. Well, right next to Zava, we were. Everyone was watching as we either sunk or swam in the Premiere league on our first attempt back.

The stadium was buzzing as Roy, and I entered the field. At first, the buzzing was geared towards Roy. The chant of ‘he’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where, Roy Kent” filled the air. I could tell he was trying not to let it get to him, but he was touched for sure. But that chant was soon overtaken with cants of ‘Zava’! I turned and saw the prick in the stands. It made sense, Zava was all but signed to Chelsea according to Higgins’s various rumors.

But then the game was off. I watched as the boys tried to get something going but after several failed attempts, including one off Dani’s face, we ended the first half 1-nil with Chelsea on the board. Chelsea was playing offensively. Waiting for our guys to pass so they could intercept and take back possession. All they needed to do was hold onto the ball as long as possible.

“Hey, fellas. Listen up,” Ted began, starting our half time meeting. “We get one goal we’re right back in this thing, yeah? But right now, we are being so unoffensive, we might as well be a Hallmark Christmas movie, you know what I’m saying.”

No, no we did not. But he continued nonetheless.

“I mean, Coach, how many shots on goal we have that half?”

“Just one,” I answered.

“And that one was pretty much a mistake. Am I correct, Dani?”

“Yes, it bounced off my face. But my face almost scored!” He returned enthusiastically.

The boys chattered amongst themselves, trying to figure out exactly what they were doing wrong. I dared a glance over at Jamie. We’d mastered the art of eye conversations. We usually were able to communicate our thoughts without saying anything. Sneaking around will do that for you. He had a thought, I could tell. If he was on the same page as me, I wanted him to share. He nodded at me.

“Just an idea,” Jamie offered starting to stand.

“What you got?” Ted called on him.

“Right, so every time they’re going past the halfway line, they’re just...”

Then Trent entered the room, and everyone fell silent. I wanted to rip my hair out of my skull. They were giving up valuable strategy time all because of some stupid grudge Roy had on Trent. I looked at Ted, begging him to do something. Luckily, he seemed to understand my plea.

First Ted went with Roy just a few feet away into the showers. Then Ted emerged and Roy barked for Trent. Whatever happened in that room I don’t want to know but when they came out again, Roy allowed us to discuss around Trent. Unfortunately, we didn’t have much time, so I urged Jamie to finish his thought.

“Listen!” Jamie shouted out over the noise. “What I’m saying is, every time we go past halfway, they’re just blocking up the passing lanes, you get that? So just kept dribbling until they stop you.”

That’s my boy. He saw exactly what I had seen. The boys seemed to have more energy going into the second half and it showed when Sam scored a goal off Dani’s face. And that was it, we finished the game in a tie against Chelsea.

As unorthodox as it was, I was excited. Excited because I could feel the electricity of things working on the field. Of the boys understanding each other and communicating. This was the game I loved. For a moment, just a single moment, I wished it was me on the field.

As we exited the field, I caught Trent standing to the side as we filed into the locker room.

“Trent,” I called over, to him.

“Coach (L/N),” He noted, standing up straight as I walked over to him. “To what do I owe the honor.”

I snorted, shaking my head. “Look, if there’s one thing, I want you to understand about me is that I am not some female superstar here to save my gender in the league.” He cocked his head at me, removing his glasses to better look at me. “I’m here because I love football. Just like everyone else on this team.”

He nodded at me, understanding. “I hear you. I understand you were quite the player in university. What made you stop playing.”

Oh, so now everyone was wondering about my past huh. Well, this wasn’t about to become some melodrama about why I didn’t play football anymore. I was here to do one thing and one thing only, coach football.

“Nope!” I popped the ‘p’ at the end and sent him a wink. And with that I turned around and headed back into the locker room.

“Goodnight, Coach (L/N)!” I heard Trent countered as I walked away. This season was certainly turning out to be an interesting one. But then again, when wasn’t it always.

I was looking forward to the celebration that was in store in the locker room but what I was met with was the awe shocked group watching a video on their phones. A video of Zava deciding to come to Richmond.

Tag List: @heletsmelovehim @higherthanheroes @ajax-petropolus-wife @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @optimisticsandwichgladiator @kno-way-home @sleepy-time @wigglegiggle @skewedcherries @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @snubug @rana030

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso #ted lasso show #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt fanfiction #long time coming

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superficial-ly · 3 months

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C R I M I N A L M I N D S ‘ S F A V A L B U M S

JJ first coz that’s my girl - Stick Season (We’ll all be here forever) by Noah Kahan

• the getting out of a small town i hav so many regrets vibes

• THE SONG CALL UR MOM its jj

• it hurts to listen to but she won’t stop she needs a piece of home to cling to even if it’s not hers

Emily coz that’s my girls girl - Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers

• she had never known peace since

• moon song as jemily double ouch

• special mention to funeral in relation to matthew she genuinely cant listen to it. she made the mistake of trying once on the jet and she will never again.

hotch i love him - Wasteland, Baby by Hozier

• hotch loves like it hurts bc it does. all of his love hurts him. but he still loves bc that’s js who he is and hozier is perfect for that i think

• wasteland, baby especially i think in reference to haley. its a hard listen but one he loves he thinks it honours her in a way.

• its perfect

spenecer my habib - Carrie and Lowell by Sufjan Stevens

• i think it’s just peaceful enough but not mind numbing that he can focus on it as well as fall asleep if he needs to

• fourth of july especially for everyone he’s ever lost is a double ouch all these acts of service to try and bring someone back bc he struggles to grasp the fact that when a person is gone, there’s nothing left to do.

morgan - not exactly an album but Tupac’s Greatest Hits is on contant rotation in his little headset thingy (so cute omg)

• all of tupac is like especially upbeat with values and ideals and deep real world reflections and he DIGS it

• especially likes Keep your Head up it reminds him of his mom and ehy he joined the fbi - he wants to help the underdog

• (morgan was DEVASTATED with the tupac beef with biggy)

penelope my girl - the rise and fall of a midwest princess by chappell roan

• she assigns them all their individual songs from the album but she is the avatar.

• she cannot do sad music so this shit is her JAMM

• femininomenon or however u spell it is a personal favourite. HOT TO GO is second

• also shes sapphic even if she only dates men in the show so she EXTRA GETS IT

tara my baby who deserved better is 100% Planet Her by Doja

• Ain’t Shit? her jam she knows all the jams

• woman is one of her favourites.

• her and rebecca sing kiss me more in the shower

luke - definitely tyler but i’m struggling between Flower Boy and IGOR

• he has that kind of i am happy to be loving u kind of vibe even if he knows the world is messed up. he so severely fucks with tyler and the whole rap genre be loved finding references he previously missed he thinks he’s a genius (he’s right)

alex blake - songs by adrienne lenker

• she stumbled across it one day and while it wasn’t the usual stuff she listened to she gave it a chance

• she never turned back

• she likes the retro feel and half return makes her FEEL like nothing else can

• shes complicated okay? not a lot just forever for her son? ouch

kate - SOS by sza

• this one’s hard bc she’s a hard core “feel things? no thank u. let’s rock!”

• i think good days is so special to her in a really quiet way

• j think kill bill makes her laugh really hard

jordan todd i never hated u - good girl gone bad: reloaded by rihanna

• she was so special to me. a wow on the team pre-2010. this was history. either way

• breakin dishes bc she is so happy at counter terrorism but watching emily fight men will always do it for her (they were sapphics ur honour)

• shes a club girly. dont stop the music, umbrella she was living for that shit

elle cutie patootie - Norman Fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Ray

• its hers i can’t

• shes so lana guys “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me” ????? it’s HERS

• “how to disappear” pls be so serious

jason gideon papa extraordinaire - Tapestry by Carole King

• he misses the 70s gang (so do i (i wasn’t born))

• Home Again makes him cry. he can’t explain it. hee never has to.

• so far away after he left the bau - his heart was basically empty but he couldn’t fill it with any more darkness he had to go. it hurt him so bad guys he literally died from it

matt simmons - anything from my little pony

• i’m sorry guys he recognises they’re killer tracks

• also his 8 million kids he watches it like three times a day

• unironically listens to battle of the bands

• kristy hates him for it.

#criminal minds #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #spencer reid #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #matt simmons #luke alvez #criminal minds headcanons #music is important #this is based purely off of my own interpretations of these characters #sorry if this makes no sense

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cyrusclouds · 5 months

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dsaf headcanons!!,!

i know literally nobody asked and no one cares, but i'm going to be putting my dayshift at freddy's headcanons here for the soul. this'll definitely get edited fairly frequently sooo!! anywayz here we go :3 (angst warning for some of these??)

jack has frequent sleep paralysis!! the kicker to this is that he THINKS he has a sleep paralysis demon, but really, dave just breaks into his house through his bedroom window every night and stares at him while he's asleep. he refuses to break character whenever he wakes up because "maybe he won't see me" (he definitely sees you, dave)

while henry was alive, dave picked up the habit of shutting up and shutting down whenever henry got too annoyed. problem with that is that jack playfully presents as annoyed all the time to mess around, and dave takes it very seriously, so they get into a bad cycle of jack acting annoyed and dave shutting down for no reason *constantly* (dysfunctional doomed yaoi core!!!)

henry is a tea drinker, not a coffee drinker. he specifically drinks black tea without any add-ins (basically the same as drinking straight black coffee for my coffee drinkers out there) (also dave eats the fucking tea leaves when henry is done with the bags)

harry still gets war flashbacks fairly frequently and is set off decently easily. when this does happen, rebecca is literally always there to comfort him and stays with him until he's calm again (straight couple goals)

whenever henry was seeping into jack's mind (legacy jack core), dave could very distinctly tell. one of the worst instances of this would have been a time where jack slipped up and called dave 'william', which would have caused a very quick panic that confused the *shit* out of jack (homeboy does not know what he did)

!!!NOT MY HEADCANON!!!! belongs to orcatstra :]!!! but dave and jack totally got drunk as shit in vegas one time and got married. no if's and's or but's, it happened, canon, i was the fly on directdogman's wall when he made dsaf.

jack reminds dave a lot of henry (unfortunately), which has caused dave to be very easily set off by things that henry used to do or say to him if jack does or says something similar. jack has no idea why every single time it happens, but he always comforts him until he calms down anyways :)

henry has a habit of spinning things like pens and pencils in his fingers while he writes, but sometimes this expands to wrenches and actual tools while he's working on his creations. yes i think henry is strong as a bitch, how else is he carrying those literal hunks of metal

I THINK HENRY PROBABLY HAS OTHER LOST TAPES OUT THERE RAAHHHH they're just probably less lore important LMFAO

henry would be the type to hate basically every animal, but he would (begrudgingly) feed stray cats from time to time if nobody was around (god forbid he ever look weak in front of people)

henry had a god awful sleep schedule. he would stay up until around 2-3am every morning at the least working on his creations, sometimes taking it as far as full days if he was focused enough. it was very concerning to dave (who does not sleep), and he would loom outside of his office a lot listening in case he fell asleep. it wasn't terribly common, but sometimes he would, in which case dave would break in and move him to the little chair he had in there

henry was definitely the kind of guy to straight up call people an idiot or dumbass, and then go on a long ramble about exactly what they were wrong about and how wrong they were. expanding on this headcanon, i think henry would have been a major rambler about things he was passionate about, especially towards dave (since that's like the only person he was around in his later life)

henry was never the kind to take breaks. no matter what, he always kept working. but, he did allow himself one once because his physical health was severely deteriorating, and he spent most of the day reading anyways LMFAO, just in a more comfortable environment. he would have loved reading, dead convinced.

#headcanon #head canon #dsaf #dsaf jack #dsaf dave #dayshift at freddy's #dsaf henry

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willalove75 · 1 year

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Can I request something Rebecca welton X reader . Some fluff . Where Rebecca ( low key sugar mommy ) but adores reader ,she makes her happy and she's friends with Keeley and works there. Fluff and softness 🥺 maybe reader is insecure ?

Absolutely!!! Thank you so much for the request!💕💕

You’re in your office finishing up some work and you jump a little when you feel hands on your shoulder.

“And what are you working on love?”

You hear Rebecca’s voice in your ear. You turn to look at her and meet her gorgeous green eyes.

“Hey! What are you doing down here?”

“Just paying my favorite girl a visit.” She says and kisses your cheek.

Your cheeks blush and you quickly scan the office to see how many people are around, you see a few of your co-workers giving you looks and you snap your attention back to your monitor.

“Oh don’t pay them any mind.” She whispers.

You look back up at her and see her smile.

“I can’t help it.” You whisper back looking up at her.

“Come on, I’m taking you out to lunch.” She says as she grabs your hand.

“Ohh where are we going?” You ask.

“Will you ever let me surprise you?” She asks with a laugh.

You grab your bag and she leads you out, your hand still in hers.

You get to the restaurant and are seated at a table. You and Rebecca are looking over a menu when you hear an excited scream. You look over and see Keeley running towards you.

“Oh my god!!!” She yells.

“Keeley?!” You yell back as you get up.

She practically runs into you as she wraps her arms around you, you hug her back as you both laugh. You let go and she hugs Rebecca. The three of you sit down at the table.

“What are you doing here?! I thought you were still on vacation!” You say.

“No I got back yesterday, Rebecca called me and invited me to lunch and made me promise not to tell you!”

You look at Rebecca, who looks pleased with herself.

“I’m so glad you’re here!”

“What have you two been up to?” Keeley asks with a cocked eyebrow.

“Honestly not much,” you say.

“The usual, although, we did decide that once y/n’s lease is up we think she’s gonna move in with me.” Rebecca says with a smile as she holds your hand.

“WHAT?!” Keeley screams, eliciting stares from other tables.

Your cheeks turn pink as you look at Rebecca with a smile on your face.

“Oh my god!!!! That’s HUGE!! That’s such a big step in your relationship!!” Keeley says.

“Yeah, but I think it’s a step we’re ready for.” Rebecca says as she looks at you.

“I think so too.” You say with a smile.

You enjoy your lunch and catch up with Keeley. She tells you all about her vacation and you guys chat about how things have been at the office.

“So what’s it like being officially out to everyone?” She asks you both.

“Out in what way?” Rebecca asks, laughing.

Keeley laughs and says “both ways I guess! Like being out, out and like, out as a couple?”

“Well being out is fine, maybe a few looks from people but overall fine. Out as a couple is also fine, but also no one really says anything to me.” Rebecca says.

“What about you y/n?”

“Being out out isn’t bad, it’s actually kind of nice. And I love being out as a couple, but I hear a lot of whispers and get a lot of weird looks now. Everyone in my office definitely talks to me less now.”

Rebecca pouts as she holds your hand.

“That’s shitty!” Keeley says. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I guess because I’m with their boss, our boss.”

“Well, you’re eligible for a promotion in the next few months and then you can move closer to my office and away from all of those horrid people.” Rebecca says as she kisses the back of your hand.

“Oh babe, you don’t have to-”

“I know, I know, and yes I want to do it because you're my girlfriend and I love you, but most importantly, I’m going to do it because you deserve it. You are easily the hardest working person on that team, your work is consistently excellent and you rarely ever make mistakes. You’re absolutely brilliant and even if I wasn’t your girlfriend I would still be giving you that promotion.”

“Do you really mean that or are you saying it so I won’t feel guilty?”

“I swear love, that’s the truth.”

“Thank you baby. Even though I don’t agree,” Rebecca rolls her eyes at you. “I appreciate it, I really do.”

After lunch you say goodbye to Keeley and you and Rebecca walk hand-in-hand back to the office.

Rebecca walks you to your office, before you get in she pushes you against one of the walls away from eyesight and brings her hand to your face.

“Did you enjoy your lunch?” She asks.

“I did, I had a wonderful time, I was so surprised to see Keeley!”

“I had a feeling you would be.” She says with a smile.

“Did you have fun babe?” You ask her.

“I absolutely did. I’d have fun doing anything with you.”

She leans in and kisses you, you’re hesitant at first because you’re worried about other people seeing you, but the anxiety quickly melts away and you kiss her back.

You see someone pass by out of the corner of your eye as Rebecca pulls away, not noticing someone had passed.

“Have a good rest of your day my love.” She says.

“You too honey.” You say back with a smile.

She gives you one more quick kiss and you head back into your office.

You were never particularly close with the people you work with. Sure, you’ve been there for a few years and were friendly with some people, but never enough to hang out outside of work, besides a few occasions where you went out for drinks with your team or your department.

You feel eyes on you and you hear whispers as you walk back to your desk. You and Rebecca announced your relationship a few months ago, but you’d think you had just announced it last week. You were always quiet, never one to over share and you usually kept to yourself. Announcing your relationship to the whole building was anxiety inducing, but you two had talked about it for a while and it got to the point where you both were tired of hiding the relationship despite the anxiety you had about it.

It was all quite a shock to the staff, not only were you with yours, and everyone else’s boss, but you were both women and no one ever expected either of you to be interested in women. To be fair you didn’t know Rebecca was either until she kissed you.

You never felt more safe than when you were with her, you had your fair share of bad relationships. Most of them were toxic, you were gaslit a lot and the people you dated, both men and women, they always made you feel bad about yourself. Rebecca was the complete opposite, she supported everything you did, she was caring, considerate, showered you with both love and gifts, and not even in a 'love bombing way' either. It was nothing you’d ever experienced before. Sometimes the gifts were overwhelming, like when she bought you a brand new car after a your super old crappy car broke down, but most of them were sweet and thoughtful.

Over the weeks the whispers and looks finally started to dissipate which was a huge relief to you. People started staring less when you two were together, you felt more comfortable with acting like a couple in public as the weeks went on now that it was finally old news. Your promotion was on the horizon and some of the whispers and stares started up again, it was nice while it lasted.

You come into work one morning hand-in-hand with Rebecca and she walks you to your office. Instead of saying goodbye at your office door like she usually does, she walks you to your desk. You see a massive bouquet of flowers on your desk and a small box with a ribbon on it.

"What is this?" You ask Rebecca, wide-eyed. You take the card out of the bouquet and open it.

My love, Congratulations on your promotion. I am so proud of everything you do, you deserve this more than anyone I know. I hope you know that you deserve this as much as I do. I love you. Love, Rebecca

"Oh my god babe." You say as you wrap your arms around her. "I love you."

"I love you too honey." She says, hugging you back. "Open the box."

You turn back to your desk and unwrap the box and see a jewelry box inside. You open it up and find a beautiful diamond necklace. You jaw hits the floor and you look up at Rebecca.

"Rebecca, this is beautiful." The way the diamonds shimmer is stunning, even in the terrible fluorescent lighting in your office. You can't imagine how much this cost her and you feel guilty. "This is too much." You say, looking up at her.

"It is not, it wasn't even that expensive." She says with a smile.

You give her a look, there's a significant financial gap between the two of you, so things you consider expensive are pocket change to her. But it doesn't stop you from feeling guilty.

She takes the box out of your hand and takes the necklace out.

"Turn around." She says.

"Rebecca-"

"No, no, you're wearing it." She says as she puts the necklace around your neck and fastens it.

You turn back to her and her face lights up seeing you wear it.

"It looks beautiful on you." She says with a smile.

"Baby you could put this necklace on a pig and it would still look beautiful." You say with a laugh.

She rolls her eyes at you and wraps her arms around your waist. "Oh stop, it looks even more beautiful when you wear it."

You wrap your arms around her and look into her gorgeous eyes for a moment.

"Thank you, I love you."

"I love you too."

She leans down and kisses you and you kiss her back. You forgot you were in the office for a moment because when you part you notice more stares than usual. Your cheeks turn pink and she kisses one.

"There's a little bit of paperwork that needs to be filled out, but you should be in your new office by the end of the week, okay?"

You go to ask her if she's sure about the promotion and she stops you.

"Don't even think about it." She says with a smile, knowing what you were about to say. "You absolutely deserve this, even if we weren't together, you deserve it. Okay?" She looks you deep into your eyes.

"Okay. Thank you."

"Good, now I have to pop off but I'll see you for lunch, okay?"

"I can't wait."

She kisses you once more and heads off to her office. Once she's out of ear shot the whispers increase. You know just about everyone thinks you got this promotion because you're dating Rebecca, even though she's said over and over again that's not why. It's hard for you to believe that your work is good enough for you to earn this. Although she was right, you rarely make mistakes, your work is usually done more efficiently than everyone else's and you've been praised by more than one person above you for your outstanding performances and how it's blown everyone else's work out of the water. Maybe you did deserve it, but your insecurities still eat away at you.

The day goes by rather quickly, Rebecca had to cancel lunch due to a meeting running late, you were disappointed but you understood and weren't mad or upset. Towards the end of the day you're walking back to your office from a meeting and you see Rupert walking down the hall. You didn't work for him long before Rebecca became the owner, but you weren't his biggest fan. Even in the short amount of time you spent with him, you knew he was a creep.

"Ah, y/n, nice to see you." He says with his usual charming smile.

"Mr. Mannion, how are you?"

"Oh please, call me Rupert. I've been well. I heard you recently got a promotion, congratulations."

"Thank you very much."

"Although I'm not surprised, Rebecca has a habit of being extra generous to those closest to her." He says with a wink. "I was surprised when I heard she promoted you, but then I found out about your relationship and it made much more sense. You were a great employee, but I would never think to put you in that position."

His words only fuel the fire of insecurity you've had about this promotion, you try to not let your worry show.

"I would just be careful, Rebecca isn't one to stay chained down for long, at least that's how she was when I first met her. You're a beautiful girl but, I wouldn't be surprised if this was just a fun little," he pauses to find the right word. "Adventure, for her. She's very good at pouring herself into someone and once that cup is full, she moves on to the next one. I mean the age difference, the financial difference, I wouldn't get too attached if I were you." He says with a smile.

You're not sure how he did it, but he managed to hit every insecurity you've ever had about your relationship with Rebecca. You know he's an asshole but, what if he's right? What if she's just with you because she looks at you like a lost puppy, and once you're fixed or she gets tired of taking care of you, she leaves? The thoughts rush through your head and you forget you're talking to Rupert for a second.

"I must be off, it was lovely seeing you y/n." He smiles and walks away.

"You too Mr. Mannion." You say, trying your best to keep your voice from shaking.

You feel a lump in your throat and a panic in your chest, you don't deserve her, she's so above you and out of your league. You feel like such an idiot for thinking she could really love you. Not that she's a bad person or that she would do any of it maliciously, she's amazing, you just don't think you're worthy of her love. She's such a good person, maybe she's just doing all this to help you gain confidence or something.

The tears begin to well up in your eyes and all you want to do is run into her office and cry in her arms, but you're so afraid for her to see you like this. The more people that pass you in the hall the more the panic builds, you have to go somewhere where no one will see you like this. You can't go to your desk, that's certainly not private enough, the bathroom isn't safe, anyone could walk in at any minute. The supply closets are always an option but the thought of someone finding you in there would be humiliating. Without even realizing it you're heading up the stairs towards Rebecca's office, it's the safest option you have.

You get to her office and find the door open, you walk in and she sees you.

"Hi love, what brings you up here?" She says with a smile, happy to see you.

You stand there for a second, fighting back tears, unable to speak.

"Honey, what's wrong?" She asks, more concerned.

You shake your head and look down, a few tears escaping down your cheeks.

She gets up from her desk and rushes over to you. She tries to lift your face towards her and you pull away as you start to break down. Rebecca closes the door and locks it and stands in front of you.

"Y/n, what happened?" You hear the fear in her voice, you start to feel guilty for worrying her.

"Are you just with me because you feel bad for me?" You ask through sobs.

"What? What are you talking about? Of course not."

"Am I just something you want to fix, and once you're done or bored are you just going to leave me? Because I need to know, I need to know if you're just going to walk away from me." You completely break down, your heart is in so much pain you can't stand it.

Rebecca pulls you into her arms and holds you tight against her as you sob into her. She holds you until you begin to calm down, once your cries lighten she holds your face in her hands and looks deep into your eyes.

"You are not a project, you are not broken, and I am never going to leave. I will never just walk away from you. Why on earth would you think that?" She has a little hurt in her voice but the concern in her eyes stays.

"Because you're older than me and you'll want to be with someone your own age, someone more mature. And you have so much more money than me, I'll just be a burden to you and you'll get tired of providing for me like you have been, and just because I don't deserve you. You're so far out of my league, I'm so scared that you're gonna either realize that, or get tired of it and just leave."

Tears begin to well up in her eyes as you speak.

"Honey, no, to all of that, just no. I love you, so much, and I will never just walk away from you, from us." Tears begin to fall from her eyes. "I don't care that I'm older than you, or have more money than you, none of that matters to me. I love you for you, you're a fucking incredible person and I am so lucky that I get to call you my girlfriend. I don't want you to think for even a second that you don't deserve me, because you do. You are everything I ever wanted and so much more."

She pulls you into her again and she gently cries as she holds you and strokes your hair.

"I'm sorry." You quietly cry.

She pulls away and looks you in the eyes. "Oh honey don't apologize, it's okay. What brought all of this up? Did someone say something to you about the promotion?"

You shake your head and wipe away tears.

"Please tell me what happened, I want to help, and not because I think you're a project or need fixing. Because I love you, and I want to know what set all of this off so I can make it better."

You take a deep breath and you rest your head on her chest. "I saw Rupert in the hall after my meeting."

You feel her body tense and her grip on you tightens.

"He said that you gave me the promotion because we're together and that he would have never considered me for it because I wasn't good enough for it, and that you aren't one to stay in a relationship for long and that I should be careful. That I was just a project, something that needed fixing and once you're done fixing me or once you get bored you'll leave to be with someone your own age, someone who has more money than me."

"That son of a bitch." She growls. She leads you to the couch and holds you. "I am so, so sorry he said all of that to you. None of it is true, not a single thing." She looks into your eyes. "He's a horrible man and loves to create as much chaos in my life as possible, but I never thought he would go so low and come after you. I love you y/n, you're everything I have ever wanted in a partner and so much more. If I'm being completely honest, I didn't think I deserved you when we first got together."

You look at her wildly confused, she's never said that before and never in a million years would you ever imagine she didn't feel like she deserves you.

"You're so kind, you're funny as all hell, you have the best and biggest heart I've ever seen in someone. I had so much baggage, I did so many terrible things when I first took over the club. I felt like such a horrible person and then there was you, an angel, an incredible soul and you wanted me? After everything I did? After I told you everything I did you still wanted me? I couldn't believe it. Some days it still surprises me. But not for one second did I ever think you didn't deserve me baby. Never."

Her words sink into you, your fear begins to ease and you hold her and lay your head on her chest. She kisses the top of your head and runs her fingers through your hair. You close your eyes and your body relaxes into hers. The smell of her perfume fills your nostrils and you feel at home. You pick your head up and look at her, she puts her hand on your face and wipes away the makeup streaks on your cheek.

"I love you Rebecca. I'm so sor-"

"No," she says, raising a hand to stop you from continuing. "Don't apologize, for anything. None of this is your fault baby, Rupert played into your insecurities and manipulated you and made you doubt everything. He did that to me all the time, and I would cry and apologize to him and beg for his forgiveness, meanwhile, I never did anything in the first place. Don't apologize love, it's not your fault."

You nod your head as a few more tears fall, she wipes them away and kisses you. She kisses you gently and passionately. When your lips part she looks into your eyes.

"I love you so much y/n. I don't want to ever be with anyone else. You're perfect for me, you're my soulmate. I don't care about the age gap or the financial differences or any of that shit. I love you."

She kisses you again and you nuzzle your face into her neck when you part, she holds you close and exhales a sigh of relief.

"Come on, let's go home." She says.

You look up at her confused.

"It's too early-"

"Baby, I own this place, I can do whatever I want, and I'm taking you home. Okay?"

You nod your head and smile. "Okay."

You get your stuff from your office and you both head to her house. You get inside and you both change into pajamas and lay on the couch, wrapped in each others arms. You watch some terrible reality show that you've become addicted to. Rebecca gets up to make popcorn and comes back with a big bowl. She sits back down and you lay your head on her chest. She playfully feeds you a few pieces and kisses your head.

It's a dreary, cold day, after you get takeout from your favorite restaurant you make hot chocolate for the two of you. You both snuggle into each other on the couch and sip on your drinks. You rest your head on her shoulder and look up at her as she watches the show, you can't believe how lucky you are, to have such an amazing woman love you so unconditionally. She looks down at you and smiles.

"What?" She asks.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking about how lucky I am to have you." You say with a smile.

She puts her drink down and takes yours out of your hand and puts it next to hers. She adjusts herself so she's facing you and she holds your face in her hands.

"I am so lucky too. I never thought it was possible for someone to love me the way you do, I never thought I was worthy of it. But you've helped me realize that I am worthy of love, that I need to stop running from it and just let it happen, and I will be grateful for that for the rest of my life. You really are the best thing that's ever happened to me baby. I love you."

"I love you so much Rebecca."

Her lips meet yours, her tongue caresses your bottom lip and you let her in. She explores your mouth as her tongue dances around yours. The kiss slows and your lips eventually part.

You look into her gorgeous eyes and lay into her. She lays back on the couch with you and wraps her arms around you after she pulls the blanket over the two of you. You cuddle into her and trace her collarbone with your fingers. She runs her hand through your hair and kisses your head.

You've never felt this safe in your life, you eyelids become heavy each time you inhale, her perfume relaxing you more and more with each breath.

"I love you Rebecca." You say quietly before you drift off to sleep in her arms.

#rebecca welton x reader #hannah waddingham #rebecca welton #willalove75 #rebecca welton fanfic #ted lasso #ted lasso fic #wlw fanfic

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 7 months

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reading roundup: February 2024

I literally completely forgot I needed to do this oopsie poopsie

WHAT DID I READ IN FEBRUARY!!! LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!!!!

Rouge (Mona Awad, 2023) - listen. there are some very cool ideas in this book, and it's definitely big creepy in places. some of the childhood flashbacks, in particular, had me shrieking with pure dread. but ultimately my issue with this book is the same as my issue with Awad's most well-known novel, Bunny: I would just... kind of like to understand what's going on? like even a little bit? at literally any time? you don't need to explain everything, but man, give me something. vibes alone do not make a meal, and I left this book not really feeling fed.

Our Share of Night (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2023) - god, this book makes you WORK FOR IT, but I'm glad I stuck it out. Enríquez has written a fucking doorstopper of intergenerational drama, about an Argentinian family deeply embroiled in a cult that worships something otherworldly and... hungry. perpetually sickly Juan is the Order's prized prophet, but after his wife's death is orchestrated by her own mother he becomes determined to get their young son, Gaspar, away from the Order's control by any means necessary. a wrenching read that swings through every kind of horror, swinging from the supernatural to Argentina's military dictatorship in the 70s to the AIDS epidemic in the 80s and 90s to an absolutely brutal ending.

Red String Theory (Lauren Kung Jessen, 2024) - some of you may recall that Lauren Kung Jessen wrote Lunar Love, one of my favorite romance novels of last year thanks to a zodiac-obsessed protagonist who's (unintentionally) giving major Rebecca Bunch pre-diagnosis in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend vibes. Red String Theory also has a female lead obsessed with mythological matchmaking, so I was really hoping for another unhinged queen, but please don't make my mistake: everyone in this book is devastatingly hinged, and the only real conflict is two characters who like each other from the jump repeatedly coming up with unsatisfying excuses for why they can't date each other. my least favorite was "we'll only in the same city for A YEAR," which is absolutely hogshit wild. "only a year." get out of here. I hate you guys.

Drinking from Graveyard Wells (Yvette Lisa Ndlovu, 2023) - a tiny short story debut by Ndlovu, a Zimbabwean sarungano. one of my very favorite genre of short story collections is "women having a bad time taken up to 11," and god does this deliver. Ndlovu writes about the many indignities heaped upon Zimbabwean women at home and abroad, weaving together tight stories about misogyny, war, poverty, and immigration with restless spirits, bored gods, ignored wise women, and unsatisfactory afterlives. there's a story about a near future in which diamond miners are purposefully set up and sacrificed to an angry underground god to create more diamonds that was so fucking clever, and the final story - the titular Drinking from Graveyard Wells - was just... an absolutely perfect short story. suspenseful and eerie and just enough of a hint of explanation to really chill you. chef's kiss.

It Happened One Summer (Tessa Bailey, 2021) - shout out to all of my patreon supporters who voted to make me read another Tessa Bailey book; you truly wish darkness and despair upon me. here's the insane thing about this book: if you just completely ignore the actual central romance, it's just a sweet book about an infinitely likeable young woman unplugging from her shallow socialite life and finding a new niche reviving her deceased father's bar in a tiny fishing town in Washington. it's like, you know, the plot of a pretty okay disney channel original movie? it's no Minute Men or High School Musical, but it's cute. it's a solid Dairy Girls or Princess Protection Program. but then there's the love interest, who's just a fucking tool all the way down. reader, I kept wishing he would get swept over the rigging of his own crab boat and die ingloriously at sea. this guy sucks so bad. also the sex scenes were identical to the ones in Unfortunately Yours and they did not taste any better reheated. fascinating treatise on cishetero gender norms, rancid romance. I wrote a whole thing about it on my patreon if you're into that kind of nastiness.

#bookblr #reading updates

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unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix · 4 months

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CME 17x01 Spoilers/Thoughts

(Yes I know I’m late on posting it but I did watch it on the premiere time 😭 and did a rewatch)

Also for those who haven’t seen the premiere, trigger warnings for suicide (at around 33:00-35:00), enucleation (surgical procedure on eyes). and mention/aftermath of tongue-cutting.

Guy (identified as Don Bertoli) comes into police station with his dead wife in his arms. This was from the trailer and he got on his knees, in trauma and shock.

Oh my god, it's enucleation ughhhhh!! I can't do that. I can't do anything with eyes

Emily going to meeting with the officers alone. Oh god I can already tell this is her pushing herself into work bc of Bailey’s death in 16x10 :(

Penelope’s birthday!! 🥳🧁📖 (there’s a reason I used these 3 emojis specifically 🤭) the whole team minus Emily is there.

Omg what just happened??

“Queef lessons” is something I never thought I would hear from this show omg

OHH Luke just… that was his turn, the queef lessons

Ok I actually have no idea what they’re playing, but it’s “To whom it may concern…”

Rossi: “the department of old man woodies and will no longer participate with dat ass”

JJ looks so comfy in her sweater 🥰 I love her so much

Rossi having hallucinations of Voit

The 3 emojis I just used earlier were in Tyler’s text to Garcia, and ugh the awkward exchange with Luke. He did not need to know about the book thing Penelope!

Not Garcia overthinking the text 😭

Omg omg Jara moment!!

JJ sitting on the counter and drying the dishes, my girl :)

Jennifer Jareau has finally surpassed the TV-14 swearing 🥳🥳 “You know, I always thought that the time we got to be this age, all the bullshit would go away.”

And she says it so naturally too! (Just waiting on her saying fuck later haha) I feel more content now that we have JJ cussing multiple times this season 🥰 my girl deserves it

JJ calling Tara “hot” 👀 Jennifer Jareau I know what you are

JJ being supportive 🏳️‍🌈 ally (or is she one of them? 👀)

Will just got called into work and JJ honestly does not seem…. happy? Almost resigned and the way the camera lingers on her after saying that and pouring wine into her glass. (I love willifer but this is concerning me)

JJ immediately changing the subject omg girl. “You heard from Emily? Thought she'd be here tonight.” We just jumped from talking about your husband to talking about your work wife lol

Tara saying that Emily is going through it since Bailey died, then JJ being all sad and sighs before going “wish we could convince her of that.” JJ was so worried for Emily. (Jemily moment in s17 better involve this)

“Definitely not a book” oh Luke

Emily working solo for the night and she texted Tara to meet her

Tara and Emily smoking on the rooftop!! I’m not a huge smoking cigarettes fan but this…. I love it. Emily stress smokes [canon]

Lauren Reynolds callback!!

“In another life, I worked a joint task force on international terrorism” oh Emily 😭. She still considers that part of her as the old (dead) Emily Prentiss.

Gold star bullets reminds Emily of the playing cards troops left on dead terrorists as part of their signature

Tara worrying that Emily might be seeing something she wants to see and protecting the team bc of it

Emily feeling bad she missed Garcia’s party and offering to get her something, oh I love them

The file… DOJ chain of custody - it’s Rebecca that requested!!

Yep!

Well , well, well, Voit. We meet again.

Oh no Rebecca

JJ, Luke and Rossi being the first to be angry about Voit being in the FBI building. That’s pretty valid tbh bc Voit did almost blow up Luke and JJ, and trapped Rossi in a shipping container.

Director of the FBI is…. Agent Phil Coulson of the Agents of SHIELD!

Fuck you Voit. And fuck you, too, Director.

Gold Star is possibly a codenamed person, and they’re leaving secret messages or calling cards. And possibly government trained?

JJ being upset and she isn't hiding it.

Luke and JJ flinching and covering themselves when Rossi threw a mug at the wall :(

Gold Star as possible national security threat??

Tara and Rebecca, oh no.

Oh shit, oh no, Rebecca. I love you girl but you shouldn't have said that.

Rossi hallucinating again

Emily coming in to check on him (like 16x01)

Oh shit. "When was the last time you slept?" "When was the last time you went to mandated trauma therapy?" Damn they're really calling each other out.

JJ and Luke team up! Besties!!!

"If someone pulls a gun on my family, I'd comply" JJ-

Rossi and Emily interviewing Don Bertoli who's still in shock and not speaking.

Ok, there's flashes of enucleation done on his wife and Bertoli ends up killing himself over the guilt.

Emily trying not to cry after witnessing it. She thinks she got another person dead 😭

Not Luke suggesting they bring in Tyler omg. JJ and Tara are also like "nope."

Hahaha Rossi saying Tyler somewhat saved him by going rogue

Garcia's daily affirmations is so cute tho! "My cats are my boyfriends" and "baby girl forever" are my personal faves.

Luke really calling Tyler out, I love him for it

Rebecca givina Tara information on what Voit said to her. I know you two miss each other.

Tyler barging into the room and Penelope saying the same thought we all had "you just interrupted JJ!"

Luke agreed with Penelope and the funniest part is JJ not giving an absolute fuck about it 😂

Tara doing the same and Tyler looking at Penelope like "you didn't call her out"

Rewatching this scene later: "bang-and-burn operations" is part of CIA, which JJ would know something about probably, and her face looked she showed some recognition at Tyler saying that. Rossi says it's possibly sabotage or assassination.

Ok, there is some tongue-cutting involved on the next victim. Nothing super graphic is shown during it, but the aftermath of it is shown with the tongue.

Emily mentally beating herself up again for another dead victim :(

Oh fuck you, Director Coulson. "But he tried to kill me [Rossi]" "but he didn't"

I can't believe this is the person that bumped Emily off the list of candidates for FBI Director.

The team's going to interrogate Voit one by one.

Ohhhh I recognize those shoes..... my girl, my girl, my girl 😩😩

Jennifer fucking Jareau!

JJ saying "let's get started" is giving her 6x18 return with the same walk and the "let's get to work" line. Love the parallels!!

#jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #david rossi #penelope garcia #tara lewis #luke alvez #tyler green #elias voit #criminal minds #criminal minds evolution #cme s17 spoilers #cme season 17 spoilers #jemily

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missielynne · 5 months

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CBS Ghosts Review: Holes Are Bad

Before I go on, I bet there will be a lot of repetition in this from all the other posts full of feels that I've been making but there are just so many feels that I couldn't save them all for just one review. Okay, moving on.

As I and I know many others feel, this is definitely one of the standouts of an admittedly only okay season (Although even here, when they come up with good ones, they're REALLY good) if not the whole series.

There are times when you have different plotlines and they don't connect well at all, and times when even the most different seeming plotlines can mix really well. The idea of dealing with literal and metaphorical holes as a connecting theme was really a good idea. (Although as I've said before, just coming up with a plotline of throwing Thor, Sas, and Isaac in a hole so they don't see Hetty die, thus her COD is a surprise to everyone was a bit too convenient for me, if I have one criticism.) However if they show us Patience (which I think they might, cause I mean why just bring up some random ghost who could very well have a grudge against Isaac right before something important that could be ruined because of said grudge..such as his wedding?) I could forgive it. The fact that his sneezing once again spelled doom for someone as it had with Nigel was a nice call back but really get that guy some meds or something. I do love the times when Isaac has actual knowledge that can solve problems that the ghosts have like knowing about possession or holes. It's nice seeing smart, capable Isaac.

I facepalmed for sure when we discovered that Thor had technically known where Flower was for ages but thanks to her wording and possibly his wish that she were in a better place, he interpreted it wrong (sort of like the game Telephone, maybe?) so Flower had to wait longer than she would have if it would have one of the other ghosts taking a walk at the edge of the property.

But it did my heart good that once everyone DID realize where she was, everyone just immediately was like "We gotta run out to the well and save Flower!" and there was no hesitation for ANYBODY, even like Isaac who is not especially close to Flower and who before now, I didn't think particularly thought of her in a friendly light. And I loved the ticking clock with the cement in the well too and the tension that added.

Speaking of tension...not having Jay and Sam there really enriched this episode, and I'm glad (even if it was just one of their clever ways of hiding Rose's pregnancy or whatever) that the show was willing to try something like that. Cause Ghosts is NOT the Sixth Sense where every ghost is an island who can't talk to anyone else and get help and just needs a living to get stuff done. No. I mean, Sam is needed for some things for sure but there are times when the ghosts are perfectly capable of just solving things amongst themselves, so use it! (Plus I think its extremely entertaining, too and I would like more.)

Which brings us to the big thing: Hetty and her death. Oh, my gosh. When she rolled her collar down and we saw the cord....and everyone's faces as she unraveled it...it was so powerful and so well acted by everyone, especially Rebecca.

And I feel like not only was she saving Flower by undoing the cord but also taking agency of what happened to her too. Now that she used the cord to save Flower, it's not just the tool of her demise, but something that was also used to save a friend. a tool of life as well as death, in a sense. You know...not that that erases the darker part of what it means but maybe it'll add a little light to the darkness too.

And I loved Flower thanking her. She was sincere, she was sweet, she was lucid...it was something that was taken seriously for the character. And sure we got old Flower back after, but it was so sweet. Now they've both help give one another new life.

And because I like ending on happy notes...I love that even the flashbacks had some funny moments, like Hetty giving the lawyer her number and it was just 4. Or just the absurdity of her asking her poor butler to take all the bullets the police are gonna shoot and he's just like "Yes, ma'am."

It was so meaningful and well-written, good juxtaposition between Hetty's story and Flower. (And were we really surprised to find out Ralph got sucked off? I think it was just confirmation for a lot of us. And nice to know Pete was right. It WAS a basement ghost!)

Now...next week it looks like we get powers from Pete, hopefully Carol moving on (although please let her and Flower meet before she goes,) and of course...one week closer to the Nisaac dinosaur wedding! Can't wait to see how this finishes off.

#cbs ghosts #cbs ghosts spoilers #missie's ghosts reviews

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