#but now i get it. a tomato and some salt what more do you need

[luveline]

Maybe KBD Steve being smitten even when he takes the family out to dinner and it’s hectic in the best way possible!

KBD —Steve gets overwhelmed with love at dinner. mom!reader

“I wanna sit with mom.” 

Steve ignores Dove’s whine until she says it again. “I wanna sit with mom!” 

He finds it all too easy to shuffle her back toward his chest, eyes over her shoulder. He’s a little more interested in his fries right now, but he isn’t heartless. “Babe, you’re not sitting with mom. Do you want me to cut up your chicken?” 

“Please?” she asks. 

You’re sitting across the table with Beth. It’s easier when you’re eating out for you to sit with Beth, because, while he tries just as hard, you’re better at getting her to eat her fill. And! Despite what Dove wants, she will not be sitting with you because she wishes she was sitting on you, and your belly is not to be sat on right now. Baby Wren is four months old, and sometimes, somehow, you’re still tender. The human body mystifies. 

“No.” He smiles at her. “But you can sit on my lap forever.” 

She frowns. Looks like she might show off, but ultimately enjoys being smiled at too much. “Will you cut it?” 

Steve grabs her knife and fork and starts to shear the meat off of her half-chicken. Beside him, Avery digs into a serving of mac and cheese with vigour, her spoon scratching the bottom of the bowl. The restaurant is quiet considering the time and day; it’s prime time 6PM on a Saturday, and you’d both expected this family establishment to be full to bursting, but besides two tables by the door and a couple of older women at the bar, it’s quiet. It’s quite nice. 

The girls are less so. 

“Oh, gosh, cheese,” Avery says. 

“It’s too wet,” Beth says. 

“Do the ‘sparagus too, daddy,” Dove says. 

Wren, thankfully, snores in her stroller, the slightest tinge against her collar of waylaid milk. 

“Yum! Beth, do you want some?” 

“I don’t want any.” 

“Bethie, you know, this is just how daddy usually makes them,” you say, stealing one of her French fries, licking salt grains from your fingers. “Except daddy wouldn’t let you have all that salt.” 

“It’s nice,” Beth defends. 

“Exactly. Better eat it before your daddy notices,” you say, all soft and smiley as you lean down and poke her in the side. 

She shies away, but not without a smile of her own. “Mom!” she whispers. 

“What?” Steve asks. 

“Nothing, nothing,” you say. You reach around Beth as Steve had done to Dove and begin to cut the last of her burger into sections. Steve would argue a burger from here is better than anything he could make, but he likes the compliment. 

His own burger grows cold in front of him. Your meal does the same. 

He licks his thumb. “Baby,” he says, tapping your ankle with his shoe, “you need to eat.” 

“I’m trying.” 

“Beth’s a big girl, huh?” he says, giving Beth an encouraging wink. “She doesn’t need you hovering, she wants you to eat your food.” 

“Thanks, mommy,” Beth says. 

“I don’t care what daddy says,” you say, tapping your nose, “I can help you if you need it. Big girl or not.” 

He rolls his eyes playfully and goes back to his own food. Dove eats strands of chicken with her fingers, seemingly pleased, and he pretends she isn’t taking fries off his plate as he relishes in huge bites of big cheeseburger. It’s amazing. Melted cheese, a super fresh slice of tomato, lettuce crisp and not soggy. Steve loves when somebody else makes dinner. 

You finish your food fast, and then you're straight back to Beth. Steve realises quickly that it’s not even that she’s struggling today, you’re just being affectionate. He should’ve realised that before. 

(Maybe too doting considering Beth has been able to feed herself for more than four years, but Steve can’t blame you.)

“I’m glad they didn’t give you a tomato,” you’re saying, fingertips drawing circles into her arms, clearly distracting her from the task at hand. “Remember last time? They gave you tomatoes and mustard even though we told them you don’t like them.” 

“I do like tomatoes,” she says. 

“No, I know, just not on burgers.” You wrap your arm around her and turn your gaze on Avery. “What’s your mac and cheese like, Ave?” 

“So good! You want some?” 

“No, thanks. It looks cheesy.” 

Avery stabs her spoon into her food and pulls it up slowly to showcase the cheese pull. She’s gone a little pink in the face, which isn’t like her, but it’s hot in the restaurant and her food is still steaming. Like you’ve had the same thought, you lift a laminated menu and begin batting fresh air at her. “Babe, you’re red! Are you okay?” 

Jesus, he loves you. Steve really loves you. You’re just adorable, and a great mom, and he loves you. He’s gonna do it. It’s gonna piss you off, but he has to. 

“Okay, alright,” he says, shuffling out of his seat, lifting Dove to place her next to Avery. “This has been a long time coming. I think nobody expected me to wait this long, but.” He neatens his eyebrows with two fingertips and slicks back his hair. “Honey, I love you.” 

“Steve…” you warn. 

“I love you, and I want to be with you, ‘cos you’re beautiful and sweet and weirdly good with kids?” He raises his eyebrows at you. “I don’t know. You’re amazing.” 

He slips his hand behind his back, shrugs off his wedding ring, and gets down on one knee. 

Avery claps and laughs immediately. Dove tips her head to the side trying to make him out. 

“Baby, I can’t imagine my life without you, and I can’t go one more day without being your husband. Would you please, please, do me the honour of becoming my wife?” 

You laugh loud and sudden, then clear your throat. “What do you think, girls?” you ask, leaning back for conference. 

“Say yes!” Avery says. 

“But he really annoyed me earlier tickling my leg,” you say. 

“True.” Avery looks to Beth. “He can learn to be better, right?” 

“I thought you were married already?” Beth asks. 

Avery giggles. You squash a smile against Beth’s hairline as you give her a little kiss. “We are,” you whisper, “he’s just pretending.” 

“This is not pretend!” Steve’s knee hurts, but he perseveres for love. “Please, honey. I love you more than anyone.”

Dove gasps in hurt. 

“Except for my Dove, my Beth, my Avery, and my Wren,” he adds. “Jesus, we have a lot of kids. That was a mouthache.” 

You meet his eyes and smile like you don’t want to smile. You hold out your hand, unperturbed when he gasps in over exaggerated delight and slips the ring on your already ringed finger. 

“Congratulations!” Avery shouts. 

She’s hilarious. “She gets that from me,” he says. 

You usher him off of the floor for a kiss, not dissimilar from the one you gave when he’d actually proposed —your hands on his cheeks, holding him to you as though he might run away before you’re done. Your smile  a palpable thing as he leans in. 

[alexanderwales]

Alright, here's my dream Stardew Valley style game, designed for my own tastes.

You come to a small town with the usual twenty to thirty people. It's in the middle of nowhere. It's a fantasy town, and no one actually farms anymore, partly because it's only questionably profitable, partly because a lot of the knowledge has been lost. Instead, everyone uses these magic doodads which are very powerful but also very limited. The tavernkeeper has a doodad that makes him a single kind of weak ale and a single variety of off-tasting wine. The clothier has basically a square mile of linen to work with, and everyone wears her drab clothes. Tools are made from a doodad that the blacksmith owns, not even made of any actual metal, just a material that wears away after a month and needs to be replaced by a new copy from the blacksmith's doodad. People get their meals from the doodads. They get their medical checkups. It's all a bit shit.

Because I'm a worldbuilder at heart, I would have this all exist in the wake of a large-scale war that depleted the town of its fighting-age population, with the doodads being a sort of government program to ensure that more of the lifeblood of the town could be drained away. And for there to be some reason for the town to continue existing, perhaps the government is harvesting some resources necessary in the creation of doodads. That's enough for a pro-doodad faction and maybe some minor drama with them, though I do like the idea that the only reason things are Like This is because there was a war and things got bad. It's not necessarily a bleak town, but there's definitely a listlessness to it, a "what's the point".

So you're a farmer, but no one is really a farmer anymore. Maybe there are a few books, but you don't learn farming from books, you learn it from practical experience; that's a lot of what this game is about. When you start, there's no one to buy seeds from, there's just a bunch of wilderness where farms once stood, now all long overgrown.

So you go out and forage, for a start, and you clear the land, and you pay attention to the plants and how they can be used, and you start in on making recipes with them, maybe with the help of your grandfather's old, partially incomplete books. You find some wild corn that's a descendant of the old times. You find some tomato seeds in an urn. You discover potatoes because you see them dug up by a wild boar, which itself was once a domesticated animal.

In my ideal game, you need to pay attention to the soil quality, to how far apart things are planted, to what crops work well together. Farming is a matter of companion planting and polycultures. You get some chickens by giving them consistent feed, and you keep them around because they're natural pest control. Your climbing beans climb the stalks of your maize. You're attracting pollinators. (From a gameplay perspective, yeah, we probably put this all into a grid, and you have crop bonuses from adjacencies, and emergent gameplay that comes from all that, some plants providing shade, others providing nitrogen fixing.) You're a scientist making observations about the plants, maybe with your incomplete book giving you confirmation on the nature of all your crops once you hit certain production goals or a perfect specimen or whatever.

Cooking is the same. There has got to be a system that I like better than just "combine tomato with bread to get tomato bread". I'm pretty sure that it's some variant of the actual process I use when cooking, which is making sure that things are properly cooked, balancing flavors against each other, adding in a little salt or acidity or umami or whatever. Time in the kitchen, in this game, is often about making meals, ensuring that if you have a fatty piece of meat you have some asparagus that's coated with lemon to go with it. (From a gameplay perspective, I think building the dish once is probably sufficient and it can be automated after that, and building the meal is the same. I don't want to play this minigame every time I'm cooking a dish, I just want to play it a single time until I have good knowledge of the best way to grill a BBQ chicken breast with a homemade sauce.)

But if we're having a little minigame here where we pay attention to how long we're cooking the kale to make sure that it's the right texture, and we're paying attention to abstractified mouthfeel and palette, then we can get something else for free: variation. See, you're not just cooking to get an S grade, you're cooking for people with different tastes. The cobbler has a sweet tooth, the librarian loves fruity things, the mayor cannot stand fish, that sort of thing. From a gameplay perspective, maybe we represent this with a radar graph with some specific favorite and least favorite individual flavors, and maybe it's visible to the player, but the important thing is that player gets feedback and have a reason to strive for both "good" and "perfection" and some of this is going to depend on the quality of the ingredients.

And this is, gradually, how the town is brought back into the fullness of life. You're not just cooking for these people, you're also selling them food, and they're making their own recipes, and all the stuff that's not food is making their businesses not suck anymore. After the first test keg of ale goes swimmingly, the tavernkeeper wants more, a lot more, and puts in an order for hops, wheat, grapes, anything he can use to make things that will improve nights at the tavern. The clothier will skeptically take in wool and spin her own yarn, and then eagerly want more, because how awesome is it to have a new textile? There's a chemist who is extremely interested in dyes and paints, and wants you to bring him all kinds of things to see what might be viable for going beyond the ~3 colors that the doodads can provide.

So by year two, if you're doing things right, you're the lynchpin of the revivalist movement. People are now moving to the town, for the first time in decades, because they hear that you're there and doing interesting things with the wilderness. Maybe there are other farmers following in your wake, but maybe it's just new characters who are specifically coming because a crate of wine was shipped to the capital city. Maybe some of them bring new techniques for you, or a handful of plants from a botanical garden, and there are new elements for the minigames, or maybe some automation for the stuff that's old hat.

I think something that's important to me is that there's a reason for the crops you plant and the things you do. I always like these games best when it feels like I'm doing something for someone, when I can look at a plot of cabbages and think "ah, those are the cabbages I owe to Leon". Where these games are at their worst, everything is entirely fungible and I've planted eight million blueberries because they have the highest ROI.

And yeah, in most of these games, there are other minigames like fishing and mining and logging and crafting, and since this is just a blog post and not a game, I definitely could massively expand an already sizeable scope.

I think for mining the player would use doodads of their own, and maybe you could make a mining minigame out of that, using the same planting tile system to instead create an automated ore harvesting machine that plumbs the depths of the earth (possibly dealing with rocks of different hardness, the water table, and other challenges along the way).

Fishing is a question of understanding the different fish species, what they eat, where they congregate, and then setting nets or lines, since I have never met a fishing minigame I really enjoyed. Again, there's some idea that the player is gaining information over time, building up a profile of these fish, noticing that some of them go nuts when it rains, understanding the spawning season, that they go to deeper water when it's cold, etc.

Crafting really depends on what you're crafting, but if you're reintroducing traditional artisan processes to this town, then people are going to need tools and machines and things. I'm not sure I know what a proper crafting game looks like. The only experience I have to draw on is wood shop, where I made wooden boxes, cutting boards, and picture frames. Since this is an engineering-lite puzzle-lite game, you could maybe do something in that vein, e.g. defining a number of steps that get you the correct thing you're trying to make, but ... eh. I love the idea of designing a chicken coop, for example, or building a trellis if I want my climbing beans to not need maize, or whatever, but I don't know how you actually implement that. There are definitely voxel-based and snap-to-grid games where you build bases, and I tend to find that fun ... but it's mostly cosmetic, for the obvious reason that doing it any other way than cosmetic requires programmatic evaluation, which is difficult and maybe unintuitive. The closest I think I've seen is ... maybe Tears of the Kingdom? Contraption building? But I don't know how you translate that to a farming game. Maybe I should ask my wife about this, because she's always doing little projects around the house (an outdoor enclosure for our cats, a 3D-printed holder for our living room keyboard, a mounting for our TV).

Making an interesting crafting system is difficult, which is why pretty much no one has done it.

And if I'm talking pie in the sky, without concern for budget or scope, I want the villagers to all have a mammoth amount of writing for them. I want petty little dramas and weird obsessions, lives that evolve with or without my input, rudimentary dialog trees that let me nudge things in different directions. This is just an unbelievable amount of work on its own, it would be crazy, but I would love having a tiny little town game where sometimes other people would fall in love. I would like to be invited to a wedding, maybe one that happened because I encouraged the chemist to hang out with the clothier, and in the course of working together on dyes, they fell in love. With twenty people in town and another ten that come in over the course of the game if you hit the right triggers, I do think this is just a matter of having a ton of time/budget. You write tons and tons of dialogue so there's not much that's repeated, you have some lines of conversation between characters that are progressed through, you have others that trigger off of events, and then you have personal relationships between NPCs that can be progressed through time or with player intervention. Give single characters a pool of love interests, have their affections depend on their routine which depends on what's changed in town ... very difficult to do without spending loads and loads of time on it though.

Anyway, that's one of my dream games. No one is ever going to make it, it would be a niche of a niche, and as scoped here, is too much for a small team to ever actually finish, let alone polish. But it's the sort of thing I'm imagining in my head when I think about playing Stardew Valley and its successors.

[shares-a-vest]

Prompt: Salty (Discord Drabble)

Eddie, Robin and Steve as the most incompetent roommates au.

Robin thinks she might just fall right to sleep on top of her textbook when a steamy, bright red blob of tomato sauce plops onto the page. It soaks through, staining the words and blurring the printed ink.

She looks up in horror to find Eddie standing before her, grinning expectantly.

“Try,” he insists, pushing the dripping spoon closer to her.

Robin recoils.

“I thought the whole point of you preparing dinner was so I could study?”

Eddie makes a face, “That’s what I’m doing. But you need to taste test, hmm? Here comes the airplane!”

He spits out some garbled noises Robin supposes sounds like an engine as he swoops the spoon at enough of an angle that another blob flies halfway across the counter island.

Robin lunges, grabbing Eddie’s wrist before he can do any more damage.

“Fine,” she relents, tugging his hand, “Give it here.”

Still holding on, she maneuvers Eddie’s wrist, twisting it as she moves her head to get the sample in her mouth –

But when the sauce hits her tongue, Robin gags.

“Good, huh?” Eddie beams.

“Bleh – what? Ed – no!” she spits, coughing now as she pushes the offending spoon away, “Eddie, why is it so salty!”

She grabbles for her water bottle.

“I haven’t added salt yet,” Eddie defends and looks down at the spoon. 

He falls silent and heads for his recipe book. Robin glares at the back of Eddie’s head as she gulps down her water like a floundering guppy.

There’s a clamboring of jars and spices as Eddie mutters to himself, pouring over his recipe. And Robin rolls her eyes, thinking that making a spaghetti sauce surely couldn’t be this complicated.

“Oregano, olive oil, pap –,” Eddie lists off before promptly cutting himself off.

“Eddie, what did you use?” Robin asks when she comes up for air.

He sets down something and looks up but still doesn’t turn back to face her.

“... Paprika,” he very obviously lies, his hair bouncing as he talks.

Robin pinches her nose, “We really need Steve to hurry up with his night shifts.”

[berriblossom]

Jing Yuan x Fem!Reader |Suggestive stuff, sex but not very descriptive, fluff, lazy evenings with the General. mentions of marriage, and cooking lessons.

✄---------------------------------

Jing Yuan was a well-received man among the Xianzhou Luofu, not only as the general within the seat of Divine Foresight but also as the general of the Cloud Knights, and a beloved one at that. But even with the dozing general's behavior within the past few weeks despite his occasional need to rest his eyes, some of his dear soldiers found him a bit off.

The general seems out of it, even more than usual. His eyes would drift off, his voice would sound as if he was hardly present, and his sleeping habits? Usually, it was a few naps here and there, but the Divine Commissioner Fu Xuan pondered if the general was going senile. He would completely knock out on his desk, barely speak, and only mumble about needing to head to the market about something.

Was he trying to prepare a feast? When Fu Xuan asked Yanqing the general's junior, "What in the world is going on with the general? He is needed immediately for some reports and a few details about the Xianzhou!" The sage mirrored Yanqings already confused face. "I don't know where he is.." Yanqing offered with a shrug. The poor boy didn't know either. Where was Ying Juan?

....

"Now add more water. Not that much!" You semi-shouted. Jing Yuan faulted his movements and stopped adding the water from the pitcher. You checked the large pan to see if the mixture was too diluted or not enough. Taking the wooden spoon you tasted it a little more. "Add some more chilies and some more salt." The general listened to your command accordingly and added a few more grounded chilies and a pinch of salt. You sprinkled some sugar into the tomato-based mixture. Giving it a taste some more, you handed the spoon off to Jing Yuan.

With a satisfied grin and lick of his lips a signature grin formed on the lips of Jing Yuan. "Is this is? Do we add the eggs now?" The excitement bounced off him and made you smile back too. Shakshuka isn't a fairly hard recipe, but it's somewhat new to the people of Xianzhou. You handed him three large eggs and let him crack them into the pan. Letting the egg whites warm and finally cook to a good temperature you quickly set the table and prepare some plates and other sides made earlier.

Jing Yuan smirked as your eyes lit up as you congratulated him on successfully creating another dish. It wasn't that he couldn't cook, he was partially and ok-cook. However, your family has owned a restaurant within the ship and it was becoming popular due to the somewhat foreign dishes presented to it. So much as so, the General of the Cloud Knights asked you to personally cook for him more often. Was this his way to get an excuse to see you more often rather than the beautiful women behind the counter of one of his favorite new places to eat? Yes. Yes, it was. Was he ashamed? Nope.

However, when you instead asked if you could teach him to cook some of the dishes since he was so adamant about eating your food. So badly you felt like he needed to learn how to cook. Hence how the deal was formed. Jing Yuan would spend a pretty penny on getting some ingredients that he had to hunt for on the Luofou, including certain spices, herbs, and even certain types of milk. Every night he would welcome you into his home and fill his kitchen with all the ingredients on the list you would send him. In return, you'd teach him and even let him have some recipe cards or coupons for your family's restaurant. Plus he got to spend more time with you. But night after night and lesson after lesson, Jing Yuan didn't want to let you go.

Each time you'd hold him tight and compliment him on his growing skills or your star-like eyes when you'd taste his newly refined dishes was enough to make the general feel a lovesick grin on his lips. The nights he wanted to ask you to stay a little longer, to taste more of the food he wanted to give you. He wanted you to hold him close again, smile at him with those lips he wanted to taste the food off from. To taste you fully was a wish he buried within his chest and mind every night when you two would bid farewell until the next evening. For nights he would lay awake and wish you were next to him. His heart couldn't;t take it every time you'd smile, or how when you want to know something is too hot, you'll stick your tongue out like a cute puppy.

Speaking of animals, Mimi loved you! You'd spend a good thirty minutes just relaxing and cuddling Mimi, Jing Yuan from his kitchen would peak out and check on the two of you. At first, you feared the lion but the moment you realized she was similar to her owner in a more special way. It was keen that the two of you would be close. Which was a win in Jing Yuan's book. The times you'd gather at the table with him, handing her some food specially made for her (cat food but make it for lions oml), Jing Yuan didn't think of a more perfect situation with the two of you.

This night after the shakshuka was finished, Jing Yuan helped you make the table and set the table again, but this time he felt it would be the last time. The tone of the evening wasn't as light or as airy as before. This time he could sense a bit of sadness behind your smiles, a bit of anxiety behind your voice. Tonight it would be the two of you again, Mimi was off in her own world with her bowl of food, but even when you greeted her it was different. You sat down beside the general and begin eating the portions he served you, his eyes watched you analytically. He was trying to figure out what was on your mind.

Why not ask, then?

"Something wrong with the food dear?" The nickname came out of habit, more so than Jing Yuan would want to say. You shook your head quickly, and you snapped out of your somewhat of a daze. "No, not at all, I just..ah.." You looked around trying to avoid his golden gaze. A large warm hand held yours gently.

"Hey, [Name]..darling look at me. What's wrong?" He leaned forward a little and tried to use his other hand to direct your chin to face him. Your eyes met, Jing Yuan's eyes were full of life but seemed drained. Making you feel a bit more guilty. While the general was beyond enthralled with your eyes. The color was something he could see a thousand times but yet on you, as your eyes...it was the most beautiful color. To him, it was a work of art, an artist full of life perfectly and personally colored them, full of shape and raw natural beauty. Your lips pulled into a frown as you answered him finally.

"I just feel guilty, you seem a little more distracted lately because of the little lessons and such...plus your sleep is being thrown off because of how late I come by and I don't want you sacrificing sleep or your position.." You were silenced when Jing Yuan's chuckle sounded through the space. (Mimi's small snores also combated that, but let's not ruin the moment)

Jing Yuan took in a breath. Both his hands were now holding your face in place, and his soft smile bloomed against the light of the dining area lamp. The warm colors of his eyes were like little stars waiting for you to make a wish on them.

"You are in no way a bother to me, my job, or my sleep. Matter you make them seem better. I was the one who asked you to cook for me personally. You had more reason to teach me to cook those dishes. Your laughter, voice, and smile make me want to spend all the hours of the night with you. Every night, as of fact."

Jing Yuan, for that time, didn't care really about anything other than your smile. He wanted to know what you wanted of him so he could give it to you. "Please let me indulge a little for tonight...my dear?"

The warm, strong hands held you close as he felt your body press with his. The shakshuka? Forgotten on the table. The stove was off, and the food could get cold, but right now, he wanted to taste, feel, and bring life in your warmth. Your lips connected first as a small peck, a little easy test for what was to come. Then the kisses became more hungry, groans, moans, and the daring touches of his hands moving any which way you wanted them to.

Jing Yuan kissed along your face, down your jaw and neck. His hands slipped underneath your shirt and held the skin of your abdomen and stomach against his sturdy frame. His eyes focused on you, and you only.

When you whispered his name as a pleas for him to continue he corrected you once.

"For tonight and hopefully for every night beyond this, call me Jing Yuan, not general. This time I'm not here for the lesson but for you. My dear, let me get a single taste of you and your love along with mine."

Guiding you beyond the table and into a different room, Jing Yuan layed you down along the bed, his sheets were soft and warm, his hands were a contrast due to the rough nature they were accustomed to. But his touch on you was gentle.

Throughout the night, your moans, his words of love, and admiration gave a bloom of love. Within Xianzhou, the people live beyond what would be considered normal, so marriages were scarce, but at this moment he wanted, no needed you to be his. Every morning to have you by him, with your presence, and every night, he would hold you tenderly while he slept at peace.

"Please, my dear [name]! please stay a little longer with me. Just a bit..."

He would groan into your ears, his voice velvety and his words sweet as honey. Food aside, he wanted to have this course again and again until the time finally came for it to end. But for tonight, and so forth until that day comes, you are his, he will forever be yours.

AN: Sorry, this was a long one oof.

[sapphic-moon-child]

Chronically Ill Truths

Fibromyalgia

Larissa x Wife!Reader

Chronically Ill Truths

Fibromyalgia - Larissa x Reader

Chronically Ill Truths

Fibromyalgia - Larissa x Reader

It was truly the worst time of year for you. The warm summer days that eased your joints in the early sun were fading and the chill of fall was setting in. You knew a flair was coming on when you went to bed the night before, but when you woke up it was so much worse. You kept a bin next to the bed for bad pain days, and today was no exception. Rolling over your joints ached and cracked as you're swollen hands quickly reached for the bin. Retching almost painfully, you felt your hair being moved from your face and a soft hand rubbing circles on your back. Once you were finished the bin was removed from your shaking hands and taken care of quickly. You could hear the water running in the tub and the smell tea followed.

“Come darling, let's try to get a head of this and ease the symptoms while the needs kick in.” Larissa said sweetly, handing you your purple cane and helping to steady you on your feet. This woman was your rock, and you loved her. When you first came to Nevermore as an English teacher you only had mild symptoms, now 5 years later you were happily married to Larissa and together you co-taught your classes allowing you to still work and enjoy your passion even with your disability. The worst of your symptoms started two years ago, it was just a lot of swelling and aches. Now it was full blown flair ups, that sometimes lasted for days and on the rare occasion a week or more.

When a bad flare would start, Larissa would help start an IV of fluids to help ease your symptoms and push Your meds if you needed them. She was insistent that she learned how to do it, so that you could have them at home instead of the hospital. After a soak in the hot epsom salt bath and a cup of ginger tea she helped you dress in something comfortable and settled you back in bed. Starting one of your IVs she asked if you wanted some pain meds to help, you nodded and were grateful for her help and dedication. “Riss, I think I'm going to need my compression wraps” you told her, admitting defeat to the hell they were. She handed them to you and prepped your meds before pushing them through your IV and flushing it. After getting one leg wrapped in the tight compression wrap, you were exhausted. Handing her the other she took it without complaint and wrapped your other leg for you. The relief was worth the trouble of these stupid things, but you didn't care right now. “Can I have some Zofran please?” You asked, still feeling nauseous. She gave you a quick kiss and retrieved the minty tasting pill for you before placing it on your tongue to dissolve. After she did she set the flow rate on your IV and climbed into bed next to you. It only took about 5 minutes before you were so tired you couldn't hold your eyes open anymore. The fatigue set in and you easily succumbed to it.

When you woke it was midday and Larissa was gently stroking your cheek. “Hello darling, I brought you something to eat. It's time for some more meds too. You noticed she replaced your IV bag with a new one and it was on a very slow drip. Smiling, you thanked her and ate as much as you could of the cheese on toast and tomato soup she made you. “I have your pain meds as well as some anti inflammation meds and some more Zofran for you if you want it. I noticed you were perking in your sleep a bit too so I grabbed your spasm medication too.” She set the different syringes of meds down on your nightstand as she sat on the edge of the bed. “What would I do without you? You could have fallen in love with someone normal, and instead here you are taking care of me.” She almost looked hurt at your words. “Darling I married you because I love you, that means all of you. Good, bad and ugly.” You leaned forwards and gave her a soft kiss before settling back on the pillows again as you watched her push your meds again and flush your IV for you.

The day went on with lots of love and patience from your wife. You were blessed that she was compassionate with you, always making sure if you needed her she was there for you. You dropped your mobility aids and she would pick them up without question. And even during the night she would feel you start to get up and would wordlessly come around to your side of the bed and help you to your feet. She never complained, you hated how much like a burden you felt. She would just scoff and give you a kiss and tell you how much she loved you and that you were never a burden to her.

One of the things you most loved was how much she came to bat for you with your doctors, none of them seemed to take you seriously thinking you were just another drug seeker. She would tear each one a new one and bring your medical binder to slam in their faces if need be. She kept a detailed record of everything for you, calming her own anxieties in doing so keeping it all put together as fine as her updo. One doctor made the mistake of telling you on one of your bad days that it was all in your head and to try meditation. That was a mistake. “You mean to tell me that the pain, tears, swelling of her joints and other various symptoms are just a figment of her imagination? Well if that’s the case I’d rather like to take my stiletto to your ass and see how you think that imagination feels!” you still giggle over the memory of that poor doctor's face when Larissa was done with him. She could be down right scary when it came to the ones she loved. She was your lover, protector, wife, and blessed caregiver, and you loved her with everything you had in you.

Your students were also very loving and compassionate to you, they were always eager to help around the classroom and stay after class to help you prep if you needed it. You and Larissa thought of them like your own and had become mother figures to most of them. Your disability and adversity to it was the reason one particular girl came to you and Larissa with her own issues showing signs of the same chronic disease that plagued you. When you found out she had worthless parents, Larissa and yourself were determined to make sure Amara got the care she needed so she could thrive. When the diagnosis came back true, she cried and cried. That was when she told you she had lived with the pain for six years, her parents accusing her of attention seeking. Larissa made sure her medicine was picked up like clockwork every month personally and she had your cell numbers if she needed you anytime day or night.

There were a few times she was unable to go to class and would spend time in Larissa’s office doing make up work or homework under a heated blanket with a cup of hot cocoa. The girl thrived after she was given the help she needed. Her grades improved and she graduated in the top of her class, that was two years ago now. She stayed at nevermore as a dark arts teacher, and when she got married to a lovely gorgon boy a few months ago, her own parents decided they wouldn’t be attending. She didn’t mind though, because she walked down the aisle with pride having both of you on her arms guiding her and giving her away. This is what love was. This was acceptance. She was so worried that she would have a flair the day of the celebration and wouldn’t be able to enjoy it, you remember it like it was yesterday. Kneeling down to her eyes where she sat, you spoke softly.

“Your disability doesn’t define you, anyone who thinks it does can go to hell. You are strong and just as able as any other girl, your mum and I will be there with you and will hold you up if we need to, just like we did when you walked the stage at your graduation. You will never be alone my love, you have us to lean on when your own feet can’t hold you up.”

*********

My Groupies: @aemilia19 @lostmyotheraccount @shyladyfan @dingdongthetail @barbarasstar @maxfanartfan @no-phrogs-in-hats @weemssapphic @cissyenthusiast010155

[texas-gothic]

Dracula Daily - May 3: Chicken Paprikash!

Welcome boils and ghouls to another year of Dracula Daily. It is the 3rd of May, and as our dear friend Jonathan treks his way across Central Europe, bound for ominous castle of Count Dracula, we encounter the first real star of this most foundational gothic novel: a spicy chicken dish fixed up with paprika. That's right, everyone! It's time for Chicken Paprikash!

Earlier this week, most of you (or at least I'm assuming most of you, because holy cow did a lot of y'all pile in after I posted it) will recall my guide to gathering the ingredients for this most essential of Dracula Daily Dinners. Tonight, we will discuss it's preparation, and whether or not the deviations I have made from the previous cycles rendition will pay off or not. So, if you've got those pots and pans ready, let's go!

Lets begin with the equipment you'll need for preparing Chicken Paprikash.

All the usual suspects are here. Knives, cutting board, some whisks and woodem spoons, a couple of bowls for ingredients. But the real stars of this show are going to be a large dutch oven, and a large building pot. Examples of these can be see in the photo above.

Once you have all your equipment ready, it's time to move on to the most annoying part of every dinner. It's time for...

Part One: Mise En Place

Cooking can be hard, or cooking can be easy. It all depends on how well prepared you are. If you have everything you need ready beforehand, actually cooking the meal can be a breeze. Sadly, this process will usually take up most of the time you spend making dinner. Is it worth the peace of mind later on? Probably, but I've never passed up a chance to gripe.

So, what all must we prepare for our Chicken Paprikash. Let's make a list:

Roughly 2 Pounds of Chicken Thights (salted preferably 1-4 hours beforehand)

2 Cups of Chicken Broth (or Stock)

2 Medium Yellow Onions (Chopped or Diced, to your preference)

2 Roma Tomatoes (Diced this time, with their seeds removed)

2 Hungarian Wax Peppers (Diced as well, be sure to remove those seeds unless you want to go for a ride like dear Jonathan)

2 Cloves of Garlic (Minced) (Don't let your desire to protect yourself from the undead lead you to add more, garlic is one of those flavors that can radically alter a dish in only small quantities)

About half a stick of butter (Though for this task you could substitute with some kind of oil or lard. Lard will make this dish even more rich, but butter is the easier option.)

3/4 Cup of Full Fat Sour Cream

1/4 Cup of Heavy Whipping Cream (make sure to shake your carton beforehand, this stuff gets clumpy if it's left undisturbed)

3 Tablespoons of All Purpose Flour

4 Tablespoons of Sweet Hungarian Paprika + 1 Tablespoon of Hot Hungarian Paprika (Stirred together for ease later on)

Salt + Pepper (To your liking)

1 Bag of Spaetzle

With all this completed, it's time to get started in earnest

Part Two - Get Cooking

Alright, with all our ingredients in hand, its finally time to start cooking.

The very first thing we're going to do is brown our chicken thighs. Set your dutch oven over a large burner, and get the heat up high. When ready, turn the heat down to medium or medium-high. This change is important, unless you want to smoke out your kitchen. Remember, smoky paprika is great, but nobody likes smoky dry wall.

Once you've prepared your pot, and lightly brushed your thighs with a high heat cooking oil (I prefer avocado) begin to brown them. Lay your thighs skin-side down for 45 seconds to 1 minute. Any longer than this risks burning the skin. Repeat in batches until all your chicken thighs have a nice crispy exterior.

(Sadly, this is where the demonstration photos stop. Turns out, a breezier cooking schedule doesn't leave much time for snappy pictures.)

Once you've brown your thighs, remove them and set them aside. Now, it's time for the real corner stones of this dish. Take that half a stick of butter you have sitting around, and give it a good swirl around the bottom of the Dutch oven. As the butter melts (this will be very quick, so you must act accordingly) do everything you can to scrape up the delicious fond left over from browning your chicken. This residue will add flavor to our dish.

The moment your butter has fully liquified, and coated the whole bottom of your dutch oven, add in your onions. These we will stur around and fry until they are a nice golden brown. You can use this time as well to keep scraping up that fond on the bottom of the pot. Make sure to keep the heat on medium throughout.

Once your onions are nice golden brown, add your tomatoes and hungarian wax peppers. Stir these around with the onions and allow to cook for 2-3 minutes. When you begin to approach the last 45-30 seconds, add in your garlic, and cook until fragrant, but not a moment longer.

This next step is crucial. Remove your dutch oven from the heated burner, and allow to cool for roughly 3 minutes. Paprika is something of a tender spice, and it scorches very easily when heat is applied to it. Once the pot is no longer smoking hot, stir in the combined Paprika, and give it a good mix around all the ingredients in the pot. When you have finished, return the dutch oven to the heated burner.

Return your chicken thighs to the pot, and pour in the 2 cups of chicken broth. The thighs should not be entirely covered, but mostly. Bring the pot to a boil, and once boiling, cover, reduce the heat to medium-low, and allow to simmer for a little under an hour, about 40 minutes.

Now, while this is happening, we will prepare our dairy thickener. In a bowl, mix the sour cream, heavy whipping cream, and flower. I prefer to use a tiny whisk for this task, as it does a very good job of moving through every part of the mixture, and combating any clumps from forming. A normal whisk should still work.

While you wait, you're going to pour about a quart of water into that steel pot, and bring to a boil. About 28 minutes from the completion of the paprikash, stir in your spaetzle to the boiling water. Allow to sit, undisturbed for roughly half an hour.

Once the 40 minutes are up, once again remove your chicken from the pot, and remove the dutch oven from the heat. Allow to cool once more, which will prevent your dairy mixture from curdling. Once cool, mix in the cream. Return the chicken to the Dutch oven, place the cover back on, and allow to heat through. About another 5-10 minutes.

And just like that, we're done! Now, let's find out how we did, shall we?

Part Three - Paprikash

This is how mine turned out. And I'm happy to report that my experimentation payed off! The heat really comes through this time, creating that good warming feeling you should get from chicken paprikash. The paprika is warm and smoky, and the chicken is tender and delicious. I'd never had spaetzel before, but I really liked it. It's still not as spicy as our good friend Jonathan described, but I think it's time that I stop differing to the opinions of a 22 year-old English orphan when it comes to any kind of cuisine.

The August Kessler Spatburgunder (Pinot Noir) proved to be an excellent pairing. The wine possesses a splendid earthiness, and it makes a beautiful partner for that smoky paprika flavor.

Well, that about does it for this year's Chicken Paprikash. Did you make Paprikash this year? How did it turn out? Anyway, I'll be making a dedicated effort to make more conversational posts with the program this year, and I cannot wait to discover what rocks we'll turn over this time around.

Join me on Sunday when we'll be diving into Tokaji, the Hungarian desert wine Dracula serves to Jonathan Harker at the end of his, if I may, strange journey.

Happy Dracula Daily, Everyone!

[daemon-in-my-head]

As requested by @theannoyingurge let's take a detour from our regular schedule and talk food preservation in medival settings / before everybody had a refrigerator so you can write the bg3 fic of ur dreams and be realistic even with details that keep getting in ur way:

Underground cellars/basements. No rly. They can be incredible cool even in summer or even if they're not too deep, and they've been used to ripen and store food such as wine or cheese or meat since ages. Cooling and freezing has been no new invention, we've been refrigerating food (where possible aka northern regions and those with real winters) since forever. The only difference is that it's more convenient nowadays.

Your food can't spoil if you let it rot deliberately aka fermenting. Whether it's fruits and vegetables, honey and grape wines, beer, cheese, or soy sauce. People have been using fermentation since ancient times to preserve foods. Remember Surströmming? The canned fish that smells incredibly bad? Yeah that's just fermented fish.

My personal fav: The burial method. Foods would be burried in dry soil (the deeper u go the cooler it gets) to protect from, well, the sun, but also and very importantly, pests and that stuff. Sometimes the food would also be tightly packed in salts or some marinades to infuse some flavour and to dry it out even better, it's a method still used today for food such as Graved Lachs (lit. buried salmon) a 'delicacy' and yeah shit tastes awesome actually I highly recommend trying it.

Can't have fermenting without pickling. Even ancient Romans loved pickles. Everyone knows that wine can turn into vinegar, and guess what they took advantage of. Also you can pickle pretty much everything. Fish, meat, fruits, veggies. It's edible? You can pickle it. And apparently people will.

Boiling stuff with sugar or honey, aka, making jams and jellies. Sugar can preserve food, and while they didn't have those cute lil glasses we do, they still very much enjoyed their jam. Ofc this was used primarily for sweeter foods. Strawberry jam has been used as a treat for God knows how long. You wouldn't believe how old some cake recipes really are.

Curing and smoking: a method we still very much use to this day to make sausages and prepare other sorts of meat and fish. People have ever since loved the smoke flavour and dangerous amounts of salt. Jerky is certainly no new invention.

Drying: yep. Grain, nuts, fruits, veggies. Lots of shit lasts nearly forever if its purposefully dried. Just make sure you don't screw it up and treat the not yet so dry produces carefully. Garlic ropes may keep out vampires but the biggest advantage is that it'll keep it from spoiling so fast.

And most importantly; the take only what you need approach. You need only 2 tomatoes? Only pluck 2 off the vine. You need meat 3 days from now? Well, only get it on the day you'll need it. You need bread today? Bake it today. People we're very conscious about their foods and what they needed. Doesn't hurt to leave the apple on the tree for one more day if it's not close to overripe already.

Now for the fun part, the random trivia regarding food;

Originally it was a woman's job to brew the beer

Beer can be used as food and it often was used as a cheap tavern food or in times of need

Island nations and coastal regions love to eat fresh, raw fish. A lot of culture from this region somehow includes raw fish in their cuisine for a plethora of reasons. Coastal people love their raw fish. Also algae. They do love algae too

Not a single hair on an animal was wasted. Hair = brushes, fat = soaps and cosmetics, blood = can be cooked and eaten. Blood sausages and all that stuff. Lamb's intestines were famously used as condoms. I meant it when I said everything.

The 'trash' meat aka scraps and very non tasty looking stuff was mixed with grain and fried in times where food was rare. Great source of protein and very filling.

Meat was expensive, so it was rare to come by and very much valued.

Normal middle/lower class people would often only eat the "good stuff" once a week or on special occasions.

During outbreaks of the pest and other illnesses even kids drank beer. Water was too dirty and contaminated.

In fact the primary drinks were wines, beers, ales all that stuff. Water had to be boiled first.

Pretty much everything that wasn't poisonous would be eaten by people. Wasting food really didn't happen a lot outside of the upper class.

Religion was heavily influenced by food. Meat will spoil very quickly in the deserts heat, a sober soldier fights better than a drunk one, fish is rare outside of coastal towns so it's expensive and rare, cows are much more useful if they're alive rather than dead, you took a life to feed yourself so be responsible about it, that kinda shit. Food influences religion. Has always done that.

Hope this helps or this is what u were looking for. I somehow crave Graved Lachs now so I shall hunt some in the supermarket or smth.

[transactinides]

i'm super bad at cooking and never know where to start because every recipe out there asks for ingredients i simply don't have at home so do you perhaps know what basic ones would be good to stock up on? like eggs and stuff...especially when it comes to spices i have no idea what is okay to use

Haii o/ very honored that you sent me an ask, and ofc I’ll do my best to help! This reply got a bit out of hand so. Long text under the cut. Behold. Feel free to reach out in asks or dms or whatever with any future questions (@ everyone tbh).

Food is, of course, very subjective, so my idea of a perfect list of foods to keep a stock of will not be universal, but I hope this will, at least, give you some ideas if anything. 

First of all, I usually mentally break down my typical weekday recipe into vaguely carbs source - protein source - veggies, buy a couple of options for each category and just switch them around for variety. My standard set is

rice / pasta (usually spaghetti re:shapes) / glass noodles

eggs / chicken / tofu / bacon

random pack of frozen vegetables, bell peppers, eggplants, tomatoes, cucumbers, leafy greens. garlic and onions too

I have an option of making egg fried rice with chopped up bacon and added frozen vegetables one day, then blending the leftover vegetables with bell peppers and tomatoes to use as pasta sauce with chicken and spaghetti the next day, then branching out and making eggplant tofu stir fry with glass noodles, then using whatever eggplant tofu stir fry i had left as rice balls filling and making myself a quick vegetable salad on the side… And all those things are easy to make and don’t need much fussing around. 

Other options to consider would be potatoes (you can roast them with whatever, boil, fry, etc), buckwheat (my wife doesn’t like it otherwise I’d use it more often), kidney beans and chickpeas for your carbs*; fish and meat for your proteins (those are. a bit too expensive for me usually); carrots, cabbage, leeks etc. 

The list looks long, but, again, you just need to pick out a couple of things from each group and throw shit in a pan so to speak. And a lot of them are easily soup-able (boiling water chicken potatoes carrots rice? boom soup. etc), which is another easy base recipe to exploit.

Now to the matter of spices. Salt and pepper are obvious enough, but a good thing to look for are, especially if you are just getting into cooking, spice blends. Something something French Herbs™ something something Taco Seasoning™ something something Seven Spice™ something something Garam Masala™. There’s a lot of different ones, but they are, essentially, a formed flavor profile in themselves, so you don’t need to worry about mixing spices and herbs that might not go well together, and by paying attention to contents you can learn for yourself what individual seasonings are commonly used together.

Also, everyone, hold your judgement real quick and trust me with this, but ooh I always save leftover flavor packets from instant ramen and reuse them in other dishes. Egg fried rice just doesn’t taste right without suspicious red powder courtesy of shin ramen… It’s probably MSG my beloved or something…

While I’m at it, bouillon cubes are handy to have, you can use them for soups, crumble them up in other recipes. Adding one to the water you’re cooking rice in is a great hack at making it more flavourful.

In general, while I do actually have way too much spices (and keep buying more… very excited about my newly acquired dried tarragon…), the ones I’d advise to have for an average person would be:

Salt (ideally both coarse grain and fine grain, but fine grain only serves you just right)

black pepper (both in a mill/grinder and peppercorns), red pepper flakes

paprika, garlic powder, ginger powder

bay leaves, dried oregano, basil, thyme, dill, cinnamon, coriander, cardamon, cumin, turmeric, sumak....

I really got a bit carried away by the end, but. You don't actually need to buy all of them and at the same time, just start with whatever couple of things you'd need for whatever you are cooking and let your collection build up over time, since spices aren't something you need to buy often anyway 👍

Other things I think it’s nice to have in stock in your kitchen would be flour and baking powder, vinegar (distilled vinegar, rice vinegar… I like to have balsamic vinegar too but it’s so expensive it’s ridiculous ngl), soy sauce, cooking oil of your choice (I use sunflower oil, olive oil and sesame oil), panko or breadcrumbs, starch (i have potato starch, cornstarch and tapioka starch, I would suggest just getting cornstarch at first).

* going to clarify here that while beans are often brought up as a source of protein, most are rich in complex carbs, excluding edamame and green beans for example. And since I mostly often cook beans with meat, they check out my daily carbs in my head.

[starsapphirecorpss]

DMC Questions Anon here!

How does the DMC cast respond to April Fools day? Do they participate? Have they ever participated? Will they? What sort of pranks do they play?

AAAAAAAA OK OK

Dante: Yes, he participates, but I think he is a bad prankster. He is. not good. His idea of an april fools prank (at least to me) is “Hey guys, lets get something to eat! How are we feeling about chinese?” and then he orders pizza. He’s lame, but its okay. He’s done this every April fools, throw the tomatoes.

Vergil: has the ability to make great pranks, but he doesn’t. He thinks it’s impractical and refuses to participate, especially with Dante’s horrible “pranks.” He’s slightly more on edge than usual. He has never participated and never will

Nero: Doesn’t participate, but he isn’t against anything like Vergil is. He thinks its childish, but he would be willing to help out, he’d just not be the one personally setting anything up. He’s participated before, and can be persuaded into doing it again.

Trish: Has never participated, and if she does pull pranks, I don’t think she’d outwardly say when she’s pranked somebody. Her pranks are more just minor inconveniences; hiding clothes, misplacing keys, ect. She’d do anything, so long as theres no proof to trace it back to her, and as long as it’s not actually hurting anyone. Lady; on the other hand.

Lady: Has participated, and will for the rest of her life. I feel like Lady would only do pranks that fuck with you. She’d move every furniture piece that isnt nailed down 2 inches to the left, just so you can tell something is wrong, but you can’t put a finger on it. She’d play the long game (she prepared) and if you had pictures in frames lying around; she’d make copies and photoshop them until there’s just something wrong about them that you can quite place, but you can DEFINITELY tell.

Nico: Nico is the fucking worst. She does the saran wrap on the toilet, has a bunch of fake spiders and cockroaches, puts a bullion cube in the shower head, zipties shopping carts to people’s car doors. She’s awful. She’s been doing this forever and does not plan on stopping.

Patty: Patty… hm. Patty is the person completely redecorate your house without consent. (she has canonically done this). I think she would place stuffed animals on every chair in your house, and you just have to move them over to sit down.

Lucia: Has not participated, will not participate, but she likes to just sit back and watch :)

Kyrie: Doesn’t participate, has never participated, only acts as a mediator for when someone inevitably gets into a fight. I do think she’s also the type to not spoil the fun, so long as it’s harmless. Nobody pranks her, too, Nico did the water bucket on a door trick once and felt bad (after nero yelled at her.)

- now the reboots 😈

Reboot Dante: God this motherfucker is the worst. “It’s just a prank bro!” Area man says after mentally/physically fucking you over constantly. He unscrews the salt lids, switches salt containers with the sugar containers, puts soy sauce in coca cola, empties out your fridge, turns the water pressure in your shower all the way up and the water heater off. Yeah. Fuck this dude. I’d say he hasn’t really had anyone to spend April Fools Day with, apart from his time in the orphanage, so no, he never actually participated, but once he grows some semblance of stability in his life, its all out war. This, constantly, All month. “It’s APRIL fools!”

Reboot Vergil: Hadn’t really participated April Fools Day, but if Dante’s around, he is rearing and ready to go. Dante wants to fuck around? he’s gonna find out. No holds barred. He takes it WAYYY to far. if Dante went a mile; he goes around the world. Any possession Dante had?(like, 5.) Gone. Electronics/Accounts he had? Hacked, permanently disabled.

Kat: Doesn’t celebrate it, and probably never will. Like Kyrie, she gets in between the boys, after their full on “prank” war, someone needs to hold them back. Give this girl a break.

[brb-on-a-quest]

The Toxic relationship between America and England As Told by Me Which Will Have Many Questionable Oversimplifications Due To the Lack of Time I Currently Have Before My Last Final Paper For A Different Class is Due: a story told by me. Tagging @igotthisaccountunderduress bc she asked for this specifically and now must suffer the consequences

Source: My history notes and a chat where I have infodumped all this to my best friend who has somehow still put up with all of my ramblings. If people would like I can and will make a series out of this with more actual research because Damn History is so much more interesting when it's not for the grade and stress and finals (like I love the tea, love the reciepts, but to memorize all of it on top of other things? *stress ensues*

((Under cut))

There was a war. There have been many wars. But during this period of like literally forever ago England, Spain, and France really just couldn't stop bickering at each other like siblings. This became more problematic when Spain started getting Colonies in this New World after the whole Christopher Columbus shenanigans (Fun fact: Isabel and Ferdinand really only sponsored like 20% or 30% of Columbus' original costs; Columbus still had to like find the other major chunk of it through sponsorships and donations). But anyway Columbus Task Failed Successfully and discovers Not India/Spice Islands but ~a whole new world~ (so many more shenanigans with that Columbus had to straight up lie to his crew multiple times to stop mutinies from happening I want to read his diaries at some point bc the more things I hear the more intrigued I get). But anyway Spain gets a lot of shiny new income in plenty of resources, spices, diseases, tomatoes, chocolate, etc.

England and France get jealous. France is like "omg I want some" and they go to Not The Spice Islands via the fabled "Northwest Passage" and get to canada and make bank off fur trading. England however in true Chaotic Sibling Fashion originally goes "why would I need to go over to America when I can just steal from France and Spain"

and thus PIRACYYYYYYY yo ho ho ho and a bottle of rum for meeeee

Spain and France are (unsurprisingly) Not Cool with this whole "sharing is caring" attitude of England and again more wars start. England in the meantime decides it wants to get its stuff together and allows the prototypes of corporations called Joint Stock Companies (basically a bunch of people would share the risks and the reward of running a business) that lead to the Virginia Colony. There were also people who were cashing in royal debts in exchange for land in the new world (the Calverts who started Maryland who wanted to Bring Back The Feudal system and that went so well for them *cough cough*/sarcasm) and a bunch of people who wanted to ability to Practice Their Religion Better than Other People (there was religious persecution when Queen Elizabeth was reigning during the Great Migration of people to America but from my understanding it was more like she didn't care what you did if you were loyal to England but also that is literally only from my professor and I have heard conflicting stories with other professors soooooo take this with a heavy grain of salt).

Anyway now with income coming in from the Americas both Spain and France and England are doing relatively well for themselves. And then guess what happens. Ah yes, more jealous and fighting. In this case, it's over the Ohio Valley Area because both countries wanted to expand their holdings in the new World. Basically this area touched Canada and France is like "C’est à moi" and England's like "GET YOUR TOASTY BAGUETTES AWAY FROM MY LAND" This leads to what we call here the French and Indian War (also called the Seven Years War in Europe I think, a lot of wars have American Names vs European names). Despite being called "The French and Indian War" here, it was fought by England and their Indian Allies and French and their Indian allies. England wins but at what cost?

The cost is money. It's always money. Now everyone has super heavy debt as a sum of like four(five?) wars that are fought in this period of time. England is now trying to raise funds to help get themselves out of the mess they put themselves into. Their solution: make America Pay Rent. Kind of a "we fought this war for *you* actually now give us money for it.

Note: they were only trying to raise part of the money for it via Direct Taxes which are taxes added on top of the price (which btdubs they were paying taxes to England already they were pay just English Version of Taxes which are built into the price so you don't know how much if it is taxes. They were fine with that. They just didn't want extra taxes. So this made them reevaluate their whole relationship with England. It didn't also help that England was starting to revoke some of the major perks like support past the appalachian mountain range, and among other things).

this tulmultuous period can be summed up with (an overgeneralization):

England: *tries to control America over much by being like 'you have to pay taxes on this this and this*

America: fine *just doesn't buy anything from England period until England recants and is like fine you don't have to pay this tax*

England: *plays the jealous girlfriend card* "you can only trade with England!!! No one else!!!

America, the two-timer: *increases smuggling* Also radical terrorists//the sons of liberty start crying for independence (Takes a Long Time For anyone to Listen to them Because Why Would They Rebellion is a stupid idea)

The East India Company thing was such a whole thing that kinda highlights this to an extreme. East India Company was part of the joint stock company that was about to go under because they had taken loans from like literally almost every bank in England. Which if they failed would be REALLY bad news for England. So in an attempt to lower cost, England told East India company that they could bring their tea from india to America directly instead of having to go through british ports as was custom. America took one look at the now So much Cheaper Tea and was like "mmmm sus" and didn't buy it in favor of dutch tea so RIP east India Company. Also Terrorist Group from before burned several of the ships while being disguised as Indians (no one was buying it) and that's what we call the boston tea party. England shut down Boston as they should and basically war ideas were spreading really quickly through new england and further onward (south was less so but they came around).

Anyway. I realize this comes off as very-anti American and it's really not meant to be, both countries were really annoying to each other throughout this whole process. But yeh then theirs gunshots and a declaration of independence and then we barely win by the skin of our teeth (that's mainly bc british merchants were like stop this we can't make money if you're fighting with our best customers at the end) and things get only stranger from there. First modern Democratic Republic so things were bound to get...very wonky.

[unlirise]

what i ate today as a college student 🍜

brunch

yes brunch bc let's all be real here! sometimes, we college students are living on TIGHT budgets and would merge breakfast with lunch just to save a buck!!!! you'd do the same thing but ik you already did that !!!!

anywayyyy... yesterday i cooked myself up some rosé sauce pasta which i honestly thought would last me a week. it isn't. i only have enough for one more meal tomorrow. you wouldn't really expect that the recipe for the sauce is very easy to make with how delicious this tastes. i got the recipe from my friend while i was assisting her when she was cooking. ever since then, it's become my favourite recipe ever. i dream about this pasta when i don't have it.

thankfully, the sauce recipe can be simplified to the point that it's college friendly. just in case someone out there wants to give it a try:

rosé pasta sauce recipe

tomato paste

all-purpose cream

garlic

salt and pepper

sautée garlic in oil until it's almost golden brown. turn down the heat a lil.

put tomato paste in and keep cooking and stirring until the paste has changed colour. put like 2 tablespoons of the pasta water to thin out the sauce.

mix in some salt and pepper. you need it to taste strongly salty and sour bc the cream and pasta will mute the flavours.

mix the cream in and keep stirring until it's all incorporated. taste the sauce if it's to your liking. put some salt if it tastes bland. put some sugar and a bit of pasta water if it's too salty.

turn off the heat and toss your pasta in it, then serve!

i can't put the measurements down bc i just eyeball it at this point according to how much pasta i've made. i found that this was essentially the skeleton of this sauce and when you're able, you can start building on it. personally, i love to throw in some onions, basil, freshly cut tomatoes, and parmesan to really elevate it.

dinner

i wanted to save up whatever was left of my pasta for tomorrow so dug through my small box of fast cookables and settled for instant noodles. this one is calamansi (small lime) flavoured and was bigger than the normal pack.

now this packet was definitely enough for just one cooking. there's always this phenomenon where you cook one pack of instant noodles and it isn't enough, so you cook up another. this was filling enough for me. if i ever get hungry, i can just grab myself a piece of bread or two.

[hannukahmatata]

Is this anything like your chicken recipe? saltandlavender[dot]com/creamy-tomato-chicken/

Pls I need more things to eat

Yes and no? Mine's definitely messier than this, and I don't bread my chicken beforehand, but it's still good. To me, at least.

Okay so I'm gonna do my best to like... convey the Chicken Not-Recipe for you, anon, because it's yummy, but I do NOT measure these things before I add them lmao

Also note I typically add my veggies separately for Texture Reasons, so if you wanna add some sauteed onions or tomatoes more power to you

Feel free to mix and match seasonings, these are just my go-tos

You will need

BIG SKILLET

One pack of boneless skinless chicken thighs (like a pound and a half to 2 pounds)

Tomato Paste, like... a tablespoon and a half? (I get mine in a tube for re-sealing)

Soy sauce (like a tablespoon or so)

Honey (no clue if this actually does anything but I like it)

Coarse salt

Seasonings: Garlic powder, Onion Powder, sweet paprika, (table) salt, red pepper flakes (or black pepper if you prefer it mild), whatever you like

Cooking oil of choice (I like olive oil)

Heavy Cream

Chicken Broth (backup liquid)

Jasmine Rice, cooked separately (Or noodles! I just made rice this time)

Instructions:

Look, I use a rice cooker. Prepare your jasmine rice or whatever you want to put this chicken on however you like.

In a reusable bowl, add your tomato paste, soy sauce, adrizzle of honey, seasonings (you gotta eyeball this one I can't help you), and a tiny drop of your cooking oil. Mix into a sauce. (Add whatever you like to this, these are just my base ingredients. Sometimes I add toasted sesame oil, some miso paste, or a half-spoon of chili oil.)

Wash your chicken and pat it dry. Chop into chunks - I can usually get about six chunks per thigh.

Toss 'em in your sauce. Stir.

Pre-heat that skillet on like a medium-ish. Depending on care instructions for your cookware, add the oil before or after turning the heat on, just enough to coat the bottom of the pan. Use less than you think you need. (You can swap for butter/shortening for a creamier base.)

Add some coarse salt to prevent oil splatter.

Do the water test. Stick your fingertips under a running faucet, then flick the droplets at the skillet. Does the oil sizzle? Chicken goes in.

Cook until done. If the sauce gets too thick or might dry up, add some chicken broth to keep it saucy. (Just a little at a time!)

Now this is important - once the chicken looks cooked, drain the skillet of MOST of the cooking liquid. A lot of that oil will have cooked out of the chicken, and you're going to be adding the cream next, so you want to strike a balance. However, KEEP the cooking liquid. You'll see why.

Turn the heat to QUITE LOW. It needs to be warm enough to blend but should not be bubbling.

Add the heavy cream. I didn't measure this, but I usually go about two tablespoons at a time when deciding how creamy I want it. The cooking liquid and tomato paste are good for this step:

add a little cream.

Stir.

Taste-test.

Too creamy? Tomato paste. Not creamy enough? More cream. Needs more flavor? Cooking liquid or broth. (SMALL AMOUNTS.)

Do this incrementally until you've got a balance you like. Try to be careful not to flood your pan, and stir regularly to really blend that sauce.

Once you're happy with it, turn off the heat and drop it on whatever you made to put it on. Have a nice glass of something to go with it.

That's dinner!

Edit: fact-check me on the oil spatter. That's just what my dad taught me.

[noonmutter]

Best Boy

DWC Feb 2024 Day 4: Vengeance/Satisfaction

Pandaria was already meeting spring with wide open arms, and the cheerful, bright sunlight was almost offensive to Shedwyn's eyes. That wasn't really new, though; everything was almost offensive to Shedwyn's eyes right now. Her fucking husband had gone and got himself fucking titled--legitimately titled, through no effort of his own, the fuckhead--and he had no idea how it'd happened. She had even less idea, and his babbling explanation hadn't made it a whole lot clearer.

The fact that they were shouting at each other about it the whole time probably hadn't helped.

But still.

Fucker.

After they'd gone in circles for about half an hour, and she'd slugged him in the chest a little bit harder than she'd actually meant to, she'd decided it was time for a breather.

"I'm going to Leon's. I need sex in my mouth right now and I don't mean you."

"First of all, fuckin' ew--"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT, ASSBAG OF KEEL."

She hadn't realized she'd been growling obscenities, mostly about her husband, out loud until the younger Ambroce whistled at her from his front door.

"Y'gonna keep me in suspense or kin we take this inside?"

"I want to be petulant and snarl some more and maybe blow something up, but I also want pizza, and I know if I do the first thing I won't get the second."

Leon nodded and stepped aside to let her into the house. "Yer becomin' downright self-policin' these days. I'm pretty sure tha's a good thin', but..."

"Shut up and feed me."

"Fine, but this better be good, y' grumpy li'l shit." He adored his sister-in-law, but that also meant he was a lot more willing to be crass with her than most. She was family, ergo she was tough enough to take a little bit of honest ribbing.

"Food then snark. Please. I want to not be the adult right now."

"Fair enough. Does tha' mean I don't get an explanation? Only if tha's th' case, I'm not gonna make yer fav'rite."

"But--"

"Them's th' rules."

Shedwyn sighed. She would kill a man for anchovies, and the man who did the absolute best thing with them was standing right in front of her, and she was a Lady, god dammit, and... She sighed again. She could be polite for a little while.

"All right."

"Attagirl."

"Don't push it, Ambroce."

Laughing, Leon closed the door behind them and fled to the kitchen to get to work. It was a good thing everyone else had left for their own chores for the day, or the complaints would've started within five minutes of the fishy dish going into the oven. For the most part, the house smelled of salt, generic "fish" smell, shrimp, ham, cheese, and tomatoes, but those first two really overpowered the rest. Anchovies were not popular at the restaurant in Stormwind, but the ones who liked them really liked them, as he'd found out, so he kept a small supply at home for emergencies. Emergencies like his little mana-bomb of a sister having a bad day, for example.

They didn't talk about much of anything while he was cooking. Leon was too focused to offer up much of anything without being prompted, and Shedwyn was in no mood to talk like an adult yet. She was in the mood to pout, and scream, and maybe punch Terry again. She'd had to go through so frickin' much to get her own title set down on paper and into the records that mattered; she'd memorized every stupid word of the stupid Doppelganger Decree of 28 and would probably not be able to forget about it for years. And Terry'd gone and fuckin' farted out a dynasty.

Shedwyn Lias-Ambroce was not strictly speaking a jealous woman, but she had limits. It just wasn't fair!

Somewhere amid the interminable brooding, a steaming pizza appeared on the table in front of her, and the clouds parted. Angels didn't sing, because angels sucked and didn't like anchovies, but that was fine. More for her. The first bite was always the best, but the second through sixth bites were pretty damned amazing, too.

Leon was kind enough to wait until she'd torn through two slices before he cleared his throat. When Shedwyn was not immediately forthcoming, he made his point by taking a slice of his own and sitting down. She growled to herself, then picked up a napkin and dabbed at her mouth.

"Your brother got lucky again."

"...Like yer 'avin' another kid, or...?"

This time, the sigh was loud, extremely melodramatic, and seemed almost to propel her backwards to drape over the back of her chair. "Like he didn't end up dead or promoted at the end of the Gilneas campaign, so he fell ass-backwards into a viscountcy instead!"

Leon blinked, then took a bite of his slice. Nope. Still don't like anchovies. "Alright..?"

"All right? Really? That's the first thing you say? Your brother's a goddamn titled, landed Gilnean nobleman out of nowhere! After all the shit I went through to get my shitty little Barony carved out of Duskwood! Not only does he just walk into some office in Stromgarde and walk out with a title, he walks out outranking me! Which I didn't know I would care about until it happened!"

Leon said nothing, simply letting her unload, as was his wont. His neverending patience pissed her off even more, as was her wont.

"I had, and still have, to work my absolute ass off for every single scrap I've ever gotten or ever will get, and then I have to work even more to keep it, and your bullfuckin' Ambroce luck has Terry just survive long enough! What the fuck, Leon?!"

When she stopped to ask him a question, even if it was a rhetorical one, Leon looked up from finishing off his slice. He calmly licked his fingers, then set his elbows on the table. Then, he set his chin on his hands. "Would it 'elp any if I said it wasn't all luck this time?"

"Well of course it wasn't all luck, it takes a shitload of skill to survive the absolute fuckalanche of shit he's been through, but--"

"No, I mean it was me."

That stopped the little mage mid-rant. "What was you?"

"Th' Gilnean Repatriation Initiative sent out letters somethin' like a month ago. I got one, you prolly got one tha' got tossed out, knowin' 'ow you an' Terry feel about anythin' bearin' th' royal seal of anywhere."

Shedwyn gaped.

Leon continued, "I'm just as much a Gilnean as 'e is, but I've my life 'ere, an' I very much like it. An' really, goin' 'ome does not bring 'appy mem'ries t' th' fore. Maybe I coulda got th' ranch back, but... gods, I don't want it. But I know Terry does. An' anybody 'o'd met th' man fer five minutes knew 'e'd go back t' Gilneas th' instant th' call went out. So I sent a reply with a couple suggestions."

Shedwyn's hair was starting to crackle like one of those globe toys that made lightning strike where your fingertips touched them.

Leon, undeterred, picked up the pizza plate and walked it back into the kitchen.

"My brother is a turd, a recoverin' racist, an' more than a bit of a jackass. But 'e's also an extremely patriotic, loyal man when 'e wants t' be. Tha's admirable as 'ell! Downright noble, even. Apparently they agreed, eh?"

The chair clattered to the floor as Shedwyn stood up, both hands up in front of her, grasping at the air in a strangling motions.

"You- you-"

"Feel free t' tell 'im Leroy says congratulations." He turned and stared her straight in the eye, even as they crackled with arcane lightning. "Elroy does, too."

Later on, Shedwyn would say the only reason Leon survived that meeting was because she didn't want to destroy the house, his spouses didn't deserve that.

Mostly it was because everytime she'd try to gather up the energy to cast something, he'd headbutt her, and she was too stubborn to dodge.

( @daily-writing-challenge @shedwyn )

[spookyceph]

Salt, Sugar, Heat Ch. 3: Clock Out

Read on Ao3

Oh, hey, Bakery AU. We thought you were dead.

Summary: Tenko has a great night and an awful morning.

Content Advisory: Food/eating mentions, anxious social situations, abusive parent/family patterns, despair spiral

Peeking through the gap between the production room doors, Tenko watched Touya grab an empty rack and disappear into the walk-in fridge.

“He’s getting the stuff you’re going to bake ready,” Toga said over his shoulder, making him jump. “There’s a certain number of each type of bagel you guys need, though don’t ask me what they are.”

Gaze straying back to the walk-in door, Tenko bit his lip. He hadn’t said a single word to Touya yet but could already sense the baker detested him. The last thing he wanted was to be stuck working with someone who thought he was worthless—he got enough of that at home. But he also needed this job. Wanted it kind of, actually. Slipping his hands into his hoodie’s pockets, Tenko pushed past the doors and headed for the walk-in.

The cold punched the breath from his chest the moment he stepped inside. Touya, on the other hand, moved like he didn’t even notice. As Tenko shivered, he watched pale curlicues of steam spiral up from the baker’s scarred arms.

“You looking for something or what?”

Tenko shrugged off Touya’s snide tone and pretended he wasn’t shivering like a small dog. “I want to learn how to do what you’re doing.”

Looking over his shoulder, the baker pinned him with his stare. “What for?”

“Uh, because I’m…because I work here now? I mean, I have, I need to, um…” Crap, those eyes were burning a pair of holes all the way down to his soul. “It’s my job and I want to do good? Also, you know, have some money?”

Touya continued his basilisk glare for another few seconds. Then, with a huff, he jerked his head. “Fine. Get over here then.”

Squeezing past the empty rack in the way, Tenko joined him on the other side. The baker wasted no time in throwing back one of the covers on the full racks and pointing.

“Berry bagels. Grab a board and transfer it.”

While he did as he was told, Tenko memorized the specks of purple and red in the dough.

“Red bean bagel. Two boards.”

The color made that one pretty self-explanatory. But the next, the rye, was strange, full of little seeds that smelled like licorice.

“Four of the green onion,” Touya said, shoving more boards at him. “It’s one of our best sellers.”

Not surprising—they smelled amazing. Same with the cinnamon raisin and tomato basil.

Once the flavors were sorted, the baker had him jump straight into gathering boards of plain dough. In all, they had about two and a half racks ready to go. Tenko barely had time to notice he was no longer cold before Touya shoved past him and out of the walk-in cooler.

“Come on, mophead,” he called over his shoulder. “Try to keep up.”

Tenko frowned. Better than some of the things he’d been called back in school, but still not his favorite. Then again, what could be expected from someone who’d given himself a nickname like Dabi? Dutifully, he trotted back out to the main room.

He found Touya busy at the big stainless kettle beside the oven. Tenko stopped in his tracks as a huge plume of flame, the same blue as the baker’s eyes, streamed out from his scarred hands to splash across the metal. The heat sucked the oxygen from the space, and Tenko stumbled back with a gasp. More open uses of a quirk. One every bit as dangerous as his too. Who were these people?

Not even looking his way, Touya snapped still sparking fingers. “Go get that rack of flavors, mophead. Oven and kettle should be ready.”

Instead of pointing out they should’ve just brought it with them, Tenko bit the insides of his cheeks and did as he was told. It was fine. Not like it was a long walk or anything. Anyway, wasn’t doing menial chores part of being the new guy? Earning his dues?

Attention never straying from the oven and the long sink in front of it, Touya pointed to the left end. “That’s your side. Baker over there is responsible for stopping and starting platforms, seeding the boards, and washing them off between sets. You don’t have to memorize everything in one day, but pay attention to my directions. And you better not slow me down. Got it?”

Fear gnawed holes through his stomach like a worm munching through an apple. “Got it.”

Then…then Tenko didn’t have a chance to be anxious. Touya began rattling off orders in a practiced monotone that revealed how often he’d repeated them. All while stirring bagels in the boiling kettle before fishing them out with the metal basket on a long handle. The steaming dough burned Tenko’s fingertips while he did his best to sort them on the long, narrow bagel boards. By some miracle he managed not to disintegrate any. The boards either while picking up two at a time to slide onto the first platform.

As bad as arranging bagels fresh from the kettle could be, reaching into the oven and flipping the boards over by hand was worse.

But Tenko grit his teeth and did his best to copy everything Touya did. To follow commands. If he missed shoveling a few finished bagels into the waiting baskets while wielding the giant peel, or fumbled with the boards, the lead baker said nothing. He relentlessly moved on to the next task, not caring whether Tenko had to rush to catch up.

Then…then it was over. They transferred the last round of baked bagels into the baskets. Touya leaned his peel against the wall, letting out a long breath but otherwise no more disheveled than when they’d started. Tenko took stock of himself. Aches in muscles he hadn’t even known existed. Exposed fingertips red and stinging. Hoodie soaked with sweat and spray from washing down the boards with the hose. Coated in sesame and poppy seed shrapnel. Wheezing like a dying horse.

“So. Ready to quit and find an easier job?”

He resisted the urge to apologize and promise to do better next time when he noticed Touya scrutinizing him. His voice didn’t have the energy to quiver as he replied, “I think I’ll stick around actually, thanks.”

“Wanna know what I think?”

Tenko met that bright blue stare until one corner of the baker’s mouth lifted a fraction.

“Well. I guess you’re not the worst I’ve ever had. Go take a break, mophead. Try a bagel. They’re best when they just came from the oven.”

Hands in pockets, Touya headed out the back door. Toga beamed at Tenko from around the corner and awarded him a double thumbs-up.

He drifted through a dreamy fog for the remainder of the shift. Helped stock bagels in the cases at the front of the store. Cleaned up the carnage of crumbs and seeds scattered around the oven and prep areas. Toga skipped up to him bearing a large paper bag as he tossed his filthy apron into a hamper inside the supply closet.

“Tenko-kun! Here, here! I packed a few goodies for you.”

His euphoric bubble burst. “I don’t have any money yet.”

“Silly! Kurogiri doesn’t mind if we take some extras home.”

Caught between the unease of angering his new boss and offending his new coworker, Tenko accepted the bag. If it turned out to be a problem, maybe Kurogiri would take it from his paycheck after he explained instead of firing him.

The bell over the front door jingled as he finished clocking out at the register. Tenko looked up to see the barista from the other day strolling in. Iguchi. His eyebrow ridges shot up when he spotted Tenko.

“Oh, hey! Looks like you survived. Congrats. How’d you like it—aside from having to work with Dabi, I mean.”

“It was…physical. And fast. I’ll get used to it, though.” He had to, or else.

“Cool. Don’t let that stuck-up rich boy intimidate you either. He’s all talk.”

Touya…rich? With those thrift store rags he wore? “Uh, sure. I’ll do my best.”

Clutching his bag of goodies, Tenko scooched around the counter and was headed for the door when Iguchi blurted, “Nice hoodie.”

He skidded to a stop. “Huh?”

The barista returned a stare just as wide as his, scales across his face looking like they’d turned a much lighter green. Almost yellow. “Er, I was just, I saw the logo on your hoodie. That’s all.”

Tenko glanced down at the name of an MMORPG he’d logged probably thousands of hours on during high school. “Do you play?”

“Who, me? Sometimes. I mean, like, once in awhile.” Iguchi waved his hand and looked away, the tips of some scales verging on reddish-orange. “Anyway, don’t let me keep you from going home and getting some rest. See you tomorrow.”

Halfway through the bus ride home, Tenko wondered if he should’ve asked to exchange usernames.

-

The sight of his father seated at the head of the table for breakfast snuffed out the last embers of warmth in Tenko’s heart. He grit his teeth and kept walking as softly, as silently as possible, eyes on the hall and the refuge of his room. The crinkle of a newspaper being folded down let him know he’d failed his stealth check. As usual.

“Don’t tell me you showed up to your first day wearing that.”

He hated the way all the muscles across his shoulders and back knotted up. Like it wasn’t enough his father controlled his life, but his body had to obey to top everything off. “Good morning to you too, Dad.”

“Don’t take that tone with me.”

“Ko,” his mom cut in. “He just came home. Let him sit down at least.”

Her comment didn’t earn so much as a glance. “You can’t just show up looking put together for an interview, then go back to being a slob once you’re hired. You need to look presentable every single day.”

Don’t yell. He’d only use it as an excuse to act even more high and mighty. Tenko crumpled the top of the bag with eight fingers. “My boss told me to dress comfortable because I’d be moving around a lot and I might get dirty. So that’s what I did.”

His father’s eyes fell to the object in his deathgrip. Widened. “Where are your gloves?”

Tenko’s spine turned into a column of ice. “I…my pocket. On the bus, I took them off. They were wet and—”

“Are you trying to get locked up in a cell? Do you have any idea what that would do to our family’s reputation? To my position at the company? Not to mention you’d never be anything higher than a janitor with a quirk violation on your record!”

And on it went. Wave after wave of Tenko’s faults, failings, and lack of a future crashed over him. The occasional protest from his mom or grandparents were too weak, too few and far between to save him. He slipped under. Went down, down, down into the cold, crushing darkness. Only once his father had run out of accusations and turned to bicker with his mother about spoiling him did Tenko slip away.

He went not to his room but the water closet. With shaking hands, he opened the paper bag no one had bothered to ask him about. Pulled out one of the bagels he’d helped make. The oven had turned it a beautiful, deep golden brown. Glossy and smooth too, like it had been polished.

Tenko dug all five fingers into it. Savored the way it squished for an instant before crumbling. Drying up and running down his hand in little streams of dust. He did the same with the next, enjoying how the raisins in it burst into puffs of ash. The cherry glazed donut (such pretty eyes, though) made him pause a second. But only for a second.

He wiped everything down and flushed the evidence away. Washed his hands. Went to bed with an empty hole where his stomach and heart used to be.

[leam1983]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but...

Your first steak should be palm-sized - about as thick as your palm's pad, as well. Some people swear by cooking with a pan greased in butter, but I personally like to reserve this for my T-bones. Smaller steaks get a dab of olive oil swirled around so the pan is properly coated, on low heat to avoid burning it - and I raise the heat only once I'm ready to put the steak in. For added flavor, toss in some diced shallots and baby tomatoes.

Once you're ready to sear your steak, stay close by. You're going for a thin cut if you've follow this, so you could easily overdo it. Use a decent steak knife to make small scores on occasion, to check for the inner flesh's consistency. When the color matches your preferred grade, take it off the stove. If you're forced to work on your steak first and have other elements to work on, set your oven on Warm and put your pan in there, keeping it covered by a big-enough saucepan lid. Don't do this if your pan's handle is rubberized, obviously, and don't forget to cover your hands. Especially don't do this if your pan is bare metal all over.

For uncomplicated side-dishes that won't break the bank, never underestimate potatoes and cheese. If I'm cooking for myself, I peel three small potatoes, wash then pat them dry, then I cut them roughly and run them through my mixer for two or three quick pulses. I'm trying to keep big chunks for now, obviously. Then, in a bowl, I add one egg and about one-sixth of a cup of grated Parmesan cheese. Taking out my mixer, I incorporate the potatoes and add about two tablespoons of milk. A few generous pads of unsalted butter get tossed in, and I adjust the milk levels as needed, depending on how consistent I want my potatoes to be. For a silkier finish, add more milk. For meme-worthy pillowy mounds, don't add too much. Keep some salt and some grated cheese on the dining room's table, for last-minute personal adjustments.

For greens, my starter side dish is usually Brussels sprouts, arranged in a way that kills the core's acidity, which is what most people hate about them. Coat another pan with oil, add in a few teaspoons' worth of coarse salt, and toss your sprouts in after cutting them in halves. Get the flat sides well and truly scored, while tossing them around so the round side gets some color, too. You'll end up with sprouts that almost have a nutty aftertaste, with the core's bitterness being a really subtle suggestion in the back. For an alternative, peel some asparagus and subject them to the same treatment.

For desert (or lunch), snag yourself some medjool dates, preferably unseeded ones, a bit of flour and a box of All-Bran. Make a mixture of about 2/3 All-Bran and one-third flour, add some water and knead, then add in some diced-up date bits. Divide the ball up for a greased muffin tray and set your muffins to rise and cook. You'll realize that cooked dates tend to caramelize, which is fucking divine in the context of a muffin. You can remove the flour if you're especially health-conscious; you'll simply end up with brittle muffins that won't really rise much at all.

Other easy ways to flip the bird to the takeout industry include pasta laden with a veggie-rich sauce, basic whitefish like sole, homemade chicken strips, five-minute enchiladas and most desserts, which really are always at their best when you cook them yourself.

There is one catch, however. You can cook like a god using stuff bought off of Dollar Tree, but you will eventually need a decent knife block. Do not skimp on this, as this needs to be a lifetime investment. Do not buy into influencers selling you "Authentically japanese" knives. Eventually, the same goes for your pots and pans. We're talking about things that touch and alter objects you'll put in your body, here - the expense is more than warranted.

Another tip: keep "almost prepared" bases for your starter dishes around, frozen up if need be. It'll help you resist the call of the DoorDash menu, with a little prior planning.

[staliaatreides]

I often find myself super frustrated when I try something and it isn't immediately perfect. Brush stoke out of place, seam not straight, fabric cutting job bad, shelf nailed up unevenly, DPS or healing stats not as high as it could be in a dungeon.

But--to get better, takes practice. So I thought I'd share a single brunch meal I've been trying to make over a period of time and what I've changed/done differently each time.

Take 1:

Pan toasted sourdough bread with melted swiss cheese, sauteed baby spinach, and sliced cherry tomatoes, topped with a beaten egg seasoned with salt and pepper made in a cookie cutter "form".

Verdict: delicious

Take 2:

Same as above with with these changes:

melted cheese is now swiss and parmesan

cherry tomatoes are from my garden and were thrown on with the cheese to cook a bit as the cheese melted and bread bottom toasted

instead of beating the egg, I cracked and poured into my cookie cutter mold, and just topped with salt and pepper to cook. It did unfortunately leak out of the form a bit into the spinach being cooked next to it, and you can see the little pieces in the picture, but you try, try again

Verdict: Really delicious (and satisfying to use something I'd grown). I think not scrambling the egg is not only prettier, but you get a sort of separation in the taste as you eat it--egg white goes really well with the spinach and tomato and cheese, and the bit with the yolk, very tasty biting into it.

Take 3 (a weekend day so more time to make it rather than the pre-work rush):

Same as above, but with some changes:

swapped out olive oil used in sautéing the spinach and that gets into the egg (and is used for toasting) for avocado oil

added more tomato--was previously using two cherry tomatoes, upped it to three, giving my toast more delicious tomato coverage

added in a bit more cheese (both the swiss and parmesan...I need to use it up after all)

And because it was finally the weekend I had the time to coordinate cooking this with:

making Turkish coffee

throwing in some salmon breakfast sausages (I could have done this during the week, no excuse, but I did just realize these might taste good with the half sandwich/toast)

Verdict: I want to not have to work weekday mornings so I could make this. I can't find much fault with how it all tastes and came out now. But I do have just one more idea on something to add that might improve it...

Take 4:

Same as before, but now with avocado slices added on top.

Verdict: perfectly delicious. Avocado is a nice touch on there, but, doing this again, I'd use the same amount of avocado, just instead of two slices, cut each of those in half again for four, so it can more evenly cover the toast.

Practice can make better! And cooking is one area where I'm happy to continue practicing (still end up with mostly tasty stuff on the way).