#but now im back on my bullshit and ready to make up for lost time

[gerrycoco]

Me: ok lets try getting a good night’s sleep 

My brain: 

[little-miss-vader]

Dueling Fates.

Pairing: Anakin x Jedi!Fem Reader

Summary: Anakin really, really wants to win for once.

Warnings: 18+ definitely smut. Minors DNI or I’ll find you and bite you. Hatefucking (?), reader gets dominated, vulnerability, name calling, restraint, hair pulling, neck kisses, biting, honestly the works.

A/N: This is my first smut in years and i got a bit carried away with the lead up cuz im a sl*t for tension and foreplay and i had to cut it short but i’m pretty proud of this for my first time back. I’m sorry if i made any mistakes, i proofread but mistakes happen! Thanks for reading <3 Enjoy filthy Anakin.

Word count: 3.1K (I know it’s long I got excited.)

Anakin wasn’t a sore loser, not by his definition at least. He just knew he could do better. That’s why when he lost against you again in a sparring session something began to boil his blood. He stood up and stared at you for a moment, you knew what that look meant.

“Again.” He spoke sternly, not at all to your surprise. His lightsaber was still ignited and held in front of him with shaking, frustrated hands. His eyes were glazed over as if possessed by the idea of winning. This had been your third session together and prior to you two partnering up you had been training for 4 hours.

“I’ve been at this for hours I would much rather go eat than tend to your bruised ego, Skywalker.” You put your lightsaber in its rightful spot on your hip and looked up at him with your arms crossed.

It was true that Anakin rarely lost but almost every time he did, it was to you. If you had a scoreboard to keep track, it wouldn’t look good for him. You were older by two years and therefore had more experience. Not by much, but enough to make a difference. He was strong, big, and extremely quick with his reflexes but you were small, agile, and had levels of pattern recognition too high for him to catch you off guard. All his best traits came to your advantage and he hated it.

“Cut the bullshit. I know you’ve got one more in you.” He spoke, his eyes looked your tired frame up and down. You didn’t, in fact, have one more in you but you still agreed. Your legs were hurting in places you didn’t think they could and your arms were burning so badly they might as well have been dipped in lava.

“Fine.” You muttered as you neared him, taking your spot across from him at the training ring. You readied your lightsaber and the sound of it igniting filled your ears. His expressions were small, almost unnoticeable, but you could see how riled up he was in the small movements of his lip twitching and his eyes flickering from you to your lightsaber. You knew your mind wasn’t in it, your Master would have sent you to bed at the sight of you and you knew Obi-Wan wouldn’t encourage Anakin in the state he was in, as well.

A hint of something flashed across his face when you agreed and that settled the feeling you had, this would not be an easy one. The rivalry you two had was nothing more than friendly competition in the eyes of most but truth be told you were both too similar and stubborn, and it really did feel like you were truly enemies sometimes.

“Any day now, Y/L/N.” He spoke in that cocky tone that made you want to slash his head clean off his neck. You tightened your grip and swung first, the sound of your lightsabers clashing echoed through the large, now empty room. This was the best way to do it, offensive to start, swinging so he had the confidence that he could block your blows. Then when you began to feel even the slightest bit of exhaustion you’d play the defense, which was your specialty, until he spent himself. The rest? Too easy.

Your legs, while in pain, moved quickly. You dodged and rolled away from him multiple times. You enjoyed the feeling of him having to come to you, in the same way a dog owner experiences contentment when their dog obeys their commands.

You didn’t know what happened. You didn’t even know how it happened in the moment. He swung directly down your middle and you blocked him, pushing him back with a grunt. The noise he made in response was almost animalistic. It shocked you for just a fraction of a second but he swung and your block was delayed. He didn’t expect it and neither did you so when the swing connected to your leg you both froze. His reaction time, bless the Maker for it, was quick enough for him to stop before he melted your leg clean off but not quick enough to prevent it from grazing you.

You staggered back, retracting your lightsaber. Not a word left either of your mouths for a few seconds, though it felt more like a lifetime. The adrenaline was helping you feel less of the pain but it wasn’t fixing much.

“I didn’t think you’d connect.” You said through gritted teeth as your face contorted in pain. You dropped down on your ass to inspect the wound. “I didn’t think you’d fail to block.” He muttered as he rushed over to lean down next to you.

“I’ll get to a medic. Just leave me alone.” You nearly seethed at him. “I knew you weren’t the nicest sparring partner but I didn’t know you played dirty when you’re mad.” You pushed yourself off the ground, your injured leg bent at the knee as you hopped toward the exit of the training room.

Anakin narrowed his eyes as he walked next to you, not bothering to help due to your comment. “I don’t play dirty. Watch that loud mouth. It’ll be the reason you eat through a straw one day.” His hands were folded behind his back as he watched you struggle to get up the steps to get back into the temple.

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes and held on to the railing for dear life as you hopped up each step. You felt an arm slide across your back and under your armpit.

“I’ll show you dirty if you keep this up.” He muttered, it was barely audible but you heard it and decided the pain in your leg was far more important than his incessant rambling.

“Don’t touch me.” You seethed but you made no attempt to move away from him. He looked down at you and you got the reply of sweet silence. For once, he chose not to respond.

“The medical bay is in the opposite direction-“ You started. “No. It’s just a surface scratch. I can clean it out for you and avoid us both getting in trouble for training after hours when we should have been eating.” He said sternly and a laugh escaped your mouth followed by a short wince.

“You mean avoid yourself getting in trouble. I wouldn’t get in shit over this. You challenged me and hurt me.” You responded. He shook his head and continued walking over to the dormitories. You recognized the hallway he was walking down to be the boys sector. You decided to bite your tongue for the time being. The wound, while not dangerous, was painful and you wanted to save your energy for something more worth while.

He opened the door to his room and placed you down on the small chair by his desk before turning to close the door. He walked away from you to find medical supplies while you inspected the wound and poked the skin around it, wincing in pain.

“Do you enjoy hurting yourself or something?” He muttered as he returned to see you poking away at your sensitive skin. You dropped your hand and looked up at him, your eyes followed him as he kneeled in front of you. You’d rather die than admit it but he did look good on his knees. Again, you stuck with the cold shoulder response, it was easier when you didn’t argue with him. You averted your gaze fairly quickly when he looked up at you for a moment. You didn’t even feel his hands on your hips until he spoke.

“Up.” His hands rested on the waistband of your pants and you cocked an eyebrow. “No funny business.” You muttered as you raised your hips to allow him to get the pants off and have better access to your thigh.

“Only in your dreams.” He spoke with a level of confidence that made you want to scream and rip his hair out of his head, but still, you stayed fairly silent.

He cleaned and dressed your wound, his touch was softer than you’d expected apart from the moments you would flinch and he’d use a bit of strength to hold your leg in place. “You’re gonna need new pants.” He said, his face was close enough to your skin that you felt the air leave his mouth as he spoke and it immediately created goosebumps on your legs. It was clear he noticed it because he did it again. “What? Is it cold in here?” His low voice sent vibrations to your leg and they flared up in little bumps again. His eyes trailed up your leg and the rest of your body until they finally rested on your own eyes. There was a look in his eyes that you had never been able to pin point and he had it often when he’d speak to you.

“Give me my stuff. I think we’re done now.” You said with a look of annoyance blanketing your expression. He followed promptly with a ‘tsk’ and his low voice, almost a growl, spoke again. “I don’t think we are.” His grip on your thigh squeezed gently and you tried snapping your legs shut only to be met by the barrier of his stupid head.

“What’s your deal, Skywalker?” You ask, your eyes boring holes into his own. You never made a single effort to move away, something about him was entrancing. His thumbs traced circles on your inner thigh by your hips and your legs twitched. You could feel your heart in your throat as he stared you down with the same intensity at you. A smirk curled at the corner of his lips when he felt you get nervous.

“What’s yours?” He mused as his hands travelled up to your waist and he pulled you down from the chair to sit on his lap where he was kneeling on the floor. A soft gasp escaped your lips and you felt a hand push on the back of your neck. Your foreheads were touching now and it felt like all the oxygen in the room had some how disappeared. Your hands instinctively rested on his chest as you straddled him.

Your mind was moving too quickly for you to say anything and before you knew it you felt his lips press against yours. His hand moved from its place on your neck to bunch up your hair and he held it in a tight grip causing a gasp to leave your mouth again.

‘I’ll show you dirty.’ His words from earlier rang in your head and you felt yourself shiver. He pulled away from you and laid you down on the cold, hard floor.

“Anakin-“ You started and he climbed over top of you, caging you in with his arms. “Years. I’ve spent years resenting you for the way you make me feel. Years watching you strut about and walk around with the confidence of thinking you’re better than I am. I hate how you speak to me and I hate the way you act.” He spoke, his eyes never left yours and your eyebrows furrowed.

“If you hate me so much why are you on top of me?” You found enough air to finally say something, your words came out shaky and breathless. “There’s one thing I can do to make myself feel better than you.” Anakin’s head dipped toward your neck as he spoke, he licked a stripe up from the base of your neck to the bottom of your ear before biting on your earlobe.

Your body quivered again and he smiled against your ear when a yelp left your mouth at the feeling of teeth biting down. “I can make you look pathetic and desperate. Just like you look right now.” He whispered again, your cheeks reddened and a small whimper left your mouth as he bit down on your neck, leaving small kisses between each bite. You couldn’t speak, you could barely breathe but you liked it. Your hands reached around to tangle into his hair and you pulled him up to make eye contact with you before pushing your lips against his in a desperate manner, open mouths collided as his tongue slipped into yours. After all the years spent being at each others throat when this is what you’d always wanted, you didn’t hesitate to push it to where you needed it to go.

Your hands fumbled with his utility belt and he smiled before lifting a single arm from beside your head to undo it in a moments notice. He sat back on his heels and pulled your belt off, your robe and tunic promptly followed. Your bare skin shivered as you laid back on the tile floor in his room and he smiled down at you. “Too pretty for your own good.” He mumbled as he pulled your underwear from your body leaving you completely vulnerable while he was still clothed. Your hands went for his robe and he pinned them down above your head, his hair flopped over his forehead in a way that made him look absolutely delectable.

He shook his head and another ‘tsk’ followed before he ducked down and placed his mouth right on your nipple that had hardened from the cold floor and excitement. A moan escaped your mouth and you bit down on your lip to stifle it. His eyes flickered open and he looked directly into your own, eye contact was definitely something he enjoyed. His free hand grasped at your chin and his thumb pulled your lip from between your teeth. “Try and hide how good you feel again and you’ll regret it.” His voice was stern and it made your head spin. You nodded.

“Use your words.” He said again and your back arched a little as his mouth returned to your nipple. “Y-yes, Anakin.” Your breathless words came out almost unintelligible. “Louder.” He said and grazed his teeth over your hardened bud. “Yes, Anakin.” You said louder as the shock of the feeling engulfed you. He smiled against you and returned to his position of hovering above you.

His hand trailed down your body agonizingly slowly, stopping right where your pussy was. His fingers traced the outside and you squirmed beneath him. “Please..” You whispered and his eyes darted back to yours. “Please what?” He spoke with his fingers still tormenting you, dancing around where you needed them the most. “Please, Anakin.” You whimpered and he smiled. “So fucking pretty when you say my name.” His mused, his voice almost came out as a low hum as his fingers finally slid up and down between your folds, picking up the juices that had collected. He pushed his lubricated fingers against your swollen clit and started to rub small, slow, circles against it. Your entire body jerked and he let go of your hands to press your hips down, your tailbone pushed against the tile and you winced causing your eyes to squeeze shut. You felt his fingers stop and instead felt a hand push your cheeks together causing your eyes to snap open, the smell of your pussy wafted toward your nose and a moan escaped your lips.

“Look at me. Don’t close your fucking eyes.” Anakin said, pushing your face to the side and letting go. His hand reached back down between your legs and he slipped two fingers into you. A yelp escaped you as he began to slide in and out, curling his fingers upward. Your eyes didn’t dare leave his as he continued to graze against the top wall. Your legs squeezed and his body kept them from closing. “Open those legs.” He seethed and removed his other hand from holding you down to push your leg back down before returning to its spot on your hips. You pulled your legs apart and he continued to stare into your eyes. He ducked down and his tongue pushed against your clit as he fingered you.

“Y-yes.. Please..” You moaned as he began to flick his tongue against the nerve endings. He still hadn’t broken eye contact and you felt a knot begin to form in your stomach, your legs began to shake as well. His mouth moved away from you but his hand continued to defile your hole. “You cum when I say so, you desperate, needy girl.” He spat and slowly returned to licking away at your clit. Your eyes widened and your breath hitched loudly in your throat. Your cheeks and ears burned at the words that fell through his lips.

“Yes, Anakin.” You said through your moans. You began clenching your pussy to hold back but that made the feelings even more amplified. Your breathing began to get heavier and heavier as you tried to take your mind somewhere else to keep yourself from going against his words but it was nearly impossible when you were forced to stare directly at him. He went on for what felt like an eternity before whispering against you. “Now.” He said and the vibrations of his voice made your entire body convulse as you let yourself go. You whimpered and squirmed while he held you in place. The knot in your stomach unraveled and warmth spread through your whole body, you couldn’t help but squeeze your eyes shut as you whimpered his name like it was the only word you knew. He pulled his fingers out and used your robe to wipe them off, his mouth followed shortly. He threw your clothes back at you and stood up.

“You can go now.” He said with a hint of a triumphant smile gracing his features. You sat up and immediately began to put the clothes back on, suddenly feeling far too vulnerable for your liking. When you stood up he grabbed you by your arm and pulled you toward him as he stared down at you with a firm grip on your bicep.

“Watch that wound and come back tomorrow.” He said with a voice that would have made any innocent bystander believe that nothing had happened in the last ten minutes. He placed a surprisingly gentle kiss on your head and his free hand moved your hair from your face.

You simply nodded and mumbled a quick, “Yes, Anakin.” before ducking out of his room and speed walking back to your own quarters, praying nobody saw you and suspected anything. You knew exactly how proud and cocky he looked as you left, you didn’t even need to look back at him. You felt like the dog obeying commands now and you really liked it, too.

PART TWO HERE YA NASTIES

@likeavillian24

[starfxkr]

trap!jj sees you crying and eats you out to make you feel better (esp bunny & kitt)

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

when jj came home to find you crying on the couch it took everything in him not to blow up, there was noting more he hated than seeing you distraught, but he knew violence wasn't the answer.

instead he approaches you cautiously for once, slipping in the bed next to you, "now what's with the waterworks huh pussycat?" he gently placed a ringed hand on the exposed flesh of your waist and you could't help but shiver at the feeling of the cool metal.

"I don't wanna talk about it," you shift to face him with a pout on your face, not your normal petulant expression—one of genuine distress, as tears well up in your eyes. “god i feel so stupid crying about it.”

the sight of you made him ache. try as he might to sheild you from the hurt and the pain he couldn’t. he could only do his best to make you feel better.

“we can talk about it when you want aight? don’t worry your pretty self about any of that bullshit right now. papa’d gonna make you feel all better.” a rough hand reaches up to stroke your tearstained cheek with his thumb, when he strokes your plump bottom lip you take him in. “i’ll fix it….promise you i will.”

and jj may not be able to snap his fingers and erase your problems, but he can offer a little relief. his lips and tongue were always a welcome treat with the way he expertly wrapped them around your clit. he spread your lips and licked your cunt in long, slow stripes. each time he dipped inside your clenching hole your fingers tightened in his hair until your nails scratched at his scalp.

it was enough to get lost in you—to feel your thighs dhake against his ears as more of your arousal poured onto his waiting tongue. he didn’t care about any of his friends or crew finding out he was a nunch for you—as long as he was the one who’s name you called out.

he circles a finger around your clenching hole, detaching himself from suckling on your swollen clit, you ready to tell me what happened baby girl?”

your head was swimming so much you almost didn’t hear the question until he repeated himself, “i-it was rafe!”

he slowly slid the finger inside, “and what did he do? cmon tell papa, you know i got you.” the blonde returns to your clit for a few encouraging sucks before releasing you again.

“he-he told me you didn’t want me…that i was just a game for you to play like all the others. and that when he finally dropped you i would be his. but-but i don’t want anyone else i just want you!”

jj was so shocked he completely paused.

“papa?” you tried tentatively, raking your hands through his sweaty hair in efforts for him to say something.

he leaned up from where he was laying between your legs, fingers resuming their steady pace inside your pussy, “i want you to listen to me okay?” he grabbed your face to maintain eye contact, “aint shit out there for me but you. no other bitches. and rafe cameron will be a dead man before he touches you.” his fingers speed up but he doesn’t let your eyes close—giving you a gentle slap to keep your attention.

“you’re my baby aight? this right here? is mine.” his palm comes up to rub against your clit, essentially allowing him to grab your whole pussy, but the other hand lays itself over your chest, “but more importantly this is mine. you’re mine pussycat, nobody elses. you got that?”

your heart flutters wildly at the confession-he looks almost desperate for you to understand. and you do, nodding your head as the tears threaten to fall, “i do.”

jj looks relieved at whatever he sees in your eyes and he visibly relaxes, “mhm thats what i thought.” he smothers your face with kisses, trailing them down your face, neck, chest until he’s back between your legs.

“this pretty little pussy is all mine. now hold these for me babygirl im hungry.” you grab your legs as he instructed so he can really get to work. dragging his tongue from your pussy to your ass so you were panting and squirming above him. rubbing your sensitive, swollen clit with his thumb as he swirled around your puckered hole.

“ple-please be careful m’gonna cum.” you weren’t sure what you were warning him about but he seemed to know. the thumb circling your clit quickly slipped back into your pussy as he reattached his lips to your clit and rubbed your tender asshole with four wet fingers—never pressing in just massaging until you began to shake.

whatever he wanted to say died in his lips in a grunt when you started cumming, quick little gushes that he lapped up eagerly even as it drenched his face.

the ceiling spun as pleasure crashed onto you, you were gasping so loud you didn’t hear your boyfriend speak, “easy now, you gotta breath pussycat. can’t have you passin out ion know how i’ma explain that one.”

when you finally came to you were wrapped in his arms with one of his hands between your legs massaging your still trembling pussy.

“how was that? feel better dontchu?”

“feel a lot better.”

“good good…you get yourself together and how bout me and you pay mr. cameron a little visit hm?”

jj always knew how to take care of you, as rough and dangerous as he was. there was no doubt in your mind that he belonged to you just as much as you did to him.

[weebsinstash]

I've talked about romantic/sexual yandere Miguel being goaded on by an alternate of himself or another you, but, I'm also thinking about platonic yandere parental/guardian Miguel getting a little 'push' to realize he wants you to play a more central role in his life, either from being in competition with an alternate of his or outright being told by his alternate that it's what he should do

You're just in the Spider Society minding your own business and you see Miguel talking to, Another Miguel, but this one has glasses or a beauty mark or some distinguishing feature. The two of them are discussing anomalies and "the fate of the multiverse" and other such serious topics when you stroll by, giving a wave and such as hello when the second Miguel actually pauses their conversation to greet you, actually being, well, much like YOUR Miguel with his occasional sarcastic snark but, friendlier, introducing himself to you, shaking your hand, asking you questions like how old you are, how long have you been a Spider, etc, amd you're ready to start cracking jokes about how, maybe you'll start spending time with this new Miguel instead since 'yours' is suddenly so grumpy, when. Oh dear, the awkward thing happens. Here comes the other you, bounding right up to the other Miguel, "Papá, there you are 🥰 this place is like a maze and I got lost looking for you, dont leave me behind again 🥺"

Both you and Miguel are watching your alternates interact, actually silently internally in some weird sort of agreement with "this is kind of weird but also oddly wholesome... what the fuck, why do I want what they have..." but it's just. It's also just a little weird. You're literally watching another you cuddle up to another version of your boss, calling the man their dad, acting like they're legitimately his child, with the other man actually being genuinely caring and considerate back. Eventually in private Dad!Miguel asks Miguel about his relationship with you and is basically met with "what relationship. That's just my coworker" as Dad!Miguel rolls his eyes at his emotionally constipated alternate who's apparently going to need a little encouragement

Part of me is like, what if some bullshit happens like, Dad!Miguel is all "oh yeah well if you have such a handle on things and think they can take care of themself without any support or guidance, what are they doing right now" and Miguel is all huffy and all FINE LETS SEE, IM SURE THEYRE FINE and goes to, use his monitors or whatever to spy on you and, you're having like a mental episode, a real crying session, some real boo hoo sobbing and maybe even cutting yourself as Miguel is "coincidentally" having an epiphany that, hey, maybe you DO need an extra mentor figure in your life... maybe he can... ask you about your day and stuff? Dad!Miguel over here ready to rip his hair out as he realizes your Miguel went through all the second universe stuff and is now an emotionally bottled mess and, in a way needs you as much as you need him

Whether to encourage his alternate or help you since you resemble 'his child', despite all awkward differences, Dad!Miguel sees that you're lonely and struggling and, kinda partially adopts you, becoming something of a mentor, checking in on you, scolding you to est something when his advanced hearing picks up on your stomach growling, making small talk, little things like that, but routinely, becoming a bit of a fixture in your life

Months down the line your Miguel is minding his own business having a pretty ok day and he rounds the corner and. It's Dad! Miguel, convincing you to let him comb your hair because you ran out of the house without doing anything with it first and you've been kind of stressed and tired. Miguel just starting to kind of feel what can only be identified as envy and jealousy as he watches Dad!Miguel spending time with you, "so, are you graduated by now? My child (the other you) is still in university right now" "oh no, I'm not really doing college" "what, but you're so smart! I think you can do anything you put your mind to--"

Miguel turns his back and next time he turns around, Dad!Miguel is getting you gifts for your birthday and it turns out he regularly visits you. The original man's strolling through the lobby and suddenly he sees you with his alternate that he's really starting to hate and, are you speaking Spanish? Since when did you learn Spanish? Did he TEACH you? Have you been spending so much time together that the other him even had that opportunity?

He's just standing there watching Dad!Miguel like, braid your hair or help clean your glasses or do something that's like, platonic but personal, caring, affectionate, and suddenly your Miguel is having the realization, "did this bitch just steal you right under my nose. Did he just baby code MY baby 😤"

Miguel overhears you happily call his alternate Tío and, that's it, he gets so mad he confronts the other him about it in private basically then and there, the other man basically just like "well clearly YOU weren't giving them the support they needed--" and proceeding to give advice on how to get close to you, things you're stressed about and struggling with, things you were too shy and scared to open up about to the original Miguel or anyone who isn't a trusted friend

An alternate version of the YouTwo disaster where YouTwo wants to steal your life because you "stole their dad" when Dad!Miguel spends time with you and they assume they're being replaced out of jealousy, or maybe he even outright wants you for himself, or maybe Dad!Miguel outright meets his unfortunate end in an unrelated villain thing and YouTwo comes to steal YOUR "dad". YouTwo who's more unhinged than ever because their Miguel kind of "broke them in" to be their loving little child and doesn't handle either being replaced or losing the only loved one and source of support they cared about

Of course this is to say, it would DEFINITELY be "unfortunate" if you and Dad!Miguel got so, so close and, then suddenly the man dies and is violently ripped from your life just when you're starting to heal and be happy again and, suddenly you're so heartbroken and vulnerable and, THIS is the moment when your Miguel finally steps up to the plate to truly take care of you amd fully assimilate into your life. You're breaking down sobbing, literally the kind of crying where you can't even stand, you just collapse, and, here he is to pick you up and hold you, embrace you, shoosh you gently and rub your back and let you cry while he helps you feel safe again. He's sorry he's late, but he's here now, so let Papá give you nice big hugs while you cry and then take you back home, ok? His home. Technically YOUR home now, that the two of you share. You'll get served all your favorite foods and made sure you're looked after and, when its time for bed and you get those violent nightmares and images of how your beloved Tío was killed right in front of you and can't manage to sleep, your Papá is there to help hold you and comfort you until you're finally softly snoring in his arms. he looks at you, how heartbroken and, in his eyes, helpless you are, and vows that if anyone ever tries to hurt, or wrong you, or some punk who doesn't deserve you tries to taint your purity, that he'll rip them apart like a wild animal

After all, that's just what good fathers do

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

LOL I hope Dogday and Catnap end up together after all the typical romantic comedy shenanigans!

How did Dogday get feelings for Catnap? I bet it was hard once Catnap went off the deep end…but did he ever feel the same about him before? I imagine they were both at least pretty good friends at one point…

:3

Dogday and Catnap were close since before they were turned into toys. I think kid Dogday (Im considering naming him Oskar) would protect Theo from bullies, and was worried sick when he just dissapeared one day. When they turned into toys, both Dogday and Catnap continued to be sort of close to each other. Catnap was isolated from the other Smiling Critters, and it was Dogday who would drag him to interact with everyone! I think this is when the mutual crush first started. Dogday saw a kind-hearted and shy friend who genuinely wanted to connect with others, while Catnap saw a ray of sunshine dragging him out of his misery corner in order to have him make friends with others.

For Dogday, Catnap was just everything he needed during that time: Someone who listens and is kind, not demanding much from him, much less getting mad at him for not doing things right. Catnap helped calm him down, and Dogday, touch and attention-starved, just caught himself suddenly developing an innocent crush on his best friend.

However, after the Hour of Joy, Catnap spent some time hiding with the Prototype as he taught him how to hunt. When he came back to the Playcare, he had changed. Hardened. He wasnt little Theo anymore, just like how Catnap wasnt little Oskar anymore. One became a hunter, the other, a leader. They clashed many times with Catnap wanting to go after other toys and the Smiling Critters not wanting to kill for their own survival. And when Catnap's religion became bigger than his own logic and morality, the two fell apart.

Below the cut are my thoughts on how their relationship went during the decade and after Angel rescued them!

Catnap did attack some of the Smiling Critters and he did tore off some of their limbs to feed the mini critters and himself. It was either that or starve, at least in his POV. Him crucifying Dogday consisted of him almost begging poor Oskar to quit with his morality and join him and Prototype. He wanted Dogday to listen, and he wanted to be together with his best friend, but tearing someone's stomach and legs off isnt the way to make them listen to you talk about how the guy who put everyone into this mess is the one and only true savior and god.

After Angel arrives at Playcare and saves not only Dogday but Miss Delight and even some of the mini critters, Catnap's world view start to shift, esp with how Angel treats him. "What happened to you?" is one of the first things they say to him, and Catnap, lonely and away from his dad/god and any company asides from the mini critters, just inevitably ends up getting attached to who he now sees as a messiah. This only gets worse after Angel saves Catnap's life.

Dogday... Oh, my poor baby. He DESPERATELY wanted Catnap to quit with the Prototype bullshit and just listen to him. They can hunt others, yes, but they shouldn't be cruel about it. They can confront the Prototype about putting them into this situation, they can leave Playtime Co, they can do anything, but please please please just LISTEN to him and STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PROTOTYPE AS IF HE'S A GOD. Dogday is ready to kill Catnap if necessary during Angel's time at Playcare, mind you, he just doesn't want to do that. And when Catnap is saved, guess who helps Angel treat his wounds? Yup, it's our big puppy.

Dogday feels guilt from letting his friends die, and feels anger at Catnap for helping with their deaths and for crucifying him. He wants Catnap to do better, but he feels like he lost him and will never get him back. And his happiness at seeing Catnap helping Angel is only for a moment, as he realizes Catnap just changed his god for Angel to fit the label.

After they confront Prototype and they leave the factory for good, they're both kind of lost. Catnap deep down knows neither Angel nor Prototype are gods, but what else are they for being able to survive such circumstances? And for Dogday, what else is there in the outside world, now that he feels more alone than ever before because his mind isn't busy with surviving anymore?

And then, BAM, every single Smiling Critter was actually alive. They're both shocked but happy at this, and begin to rekindle their relationship as they both agree that they're the only ones who can actually protect both their old friends and the newfound family they have. Their relationship at this point is two traumatized young adults trying to protect what they have of hope, still getting out of the survival instincts and way of life. They bicker a LOOOOT, but since day 1 from escaping they have sometimes slept next to each other because that's the only way they can fall asleep. They have so many conflicts but they are so much about each other in a way only they can truly understand (and also us but we don't count because we're just readers and players lmao).

With enough weeks passing by, and with enough long nights of these two being close and even playing with each other because they missed the other so much, they start talking. Untangling the mess. Catnap did apologize to Dogday when they were still inside Playtime Co, ofc, and he and Dogday had a moment when they saw the Sun for the first time since they were young children, but two conversations aren't enough to fix +5 years of hurt.

I think the mutual crush smacks them both in the head at the same time during the, like, third month of living with Angel. Sillies gotta be silly right?

[cherubispunk]

UP IN YOUR ARMS (CHAPTER ONE) -Noir!Joel Miller x AFAB!Reader

summary: The Canary Club. Illicit. Underground. Dangerous too. But nowhere near as dangerous the affair you and Joel start there.

a note from Lucy: chapter one! I'm digging my own grave here. thats all im saying. i promise it is focused on joel and the reader later in the chapter. im just setting the scene for differnt relationships in the series.

playlist

wc: 6969 (haha lol) Warnings: 18+ MDNI! DARK CONTENT! 1940s!au, no outbreak, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is in her early 20’s and Joel is in his 40s), smut. p in v sex, oral - f receiving, oral through panties, choking, groping, sexism, mentions of racism, touch starved joel, me being back on my bullshit, drinking, ,smoking, throwing fists because men are stoopid and cant talk things out, cheating on the readers part, but joel knows this and still fucks her like the horny bastad he is. *sigh*, use of pet names such as doll, cursing, ww2 references, an unhealthy relationship between reader and joel, mentions of blood, let me know if ive missed any warning out that should be tagged. 6969 words of unedited bullshit because im piss drunk and cant for the life of me edit.

series m.list | m.list

The jazz band was one of the finest groups in the city. ‘Only the finest for The Canary Club’, as Johnny had put it. 

Johnny Boy Finnick. 

Now he was a man. Played sports in college, muscular, strong arms that pinned you to the wall or mattress or table. Hands that shuffled playing cards with ease and had you screaming far after the night was over. Deep blue eyes and blonde hair that never fell out of place from its slicked back style. Not even after he had crushed someone's jaw under the weight of his pummeling, bloodlusting fist.  

Johnny made a name for himself bootlegging liquor, too young to fight in the first world war. Took over as The Boss of Boston. It’s how he got his name. Johnny Boy. Fresh faced but the heart of a ragged old man. Lost it all after the second world war, gained it back not long after. A killer with a bone deep yearning for blood, money, violence, and you. 

He sat in his pressed suit, legs parted as he leaned over to display his full flush to the table, flashing a killer smile when he collected the money off his right hand man and three more of his boys. You smiled from the bar, beads of your dress twinkling in the low light of the speakeasy, ready to waltz over with another old fashioned and drape yourself in his lap.

“Thanks, Henry.” You smiled at your oldest friend, taking the drink he had placed down in front of you on the bar. Henry was your age, 25. A boy from Hartford, Connecticut, grew up in Kansas, then moved here looking for work in a big city. Honest, hardworking. Sweeter than cherry pie. And his little brother Sam was just the cutest pip you'd ever seen. 

“No problem, Doll.” He teased, which deserved a roll of the eyes from you. 

“How many times have I asked you not to call me that?”

“This would make it…” he glanced up for a second, as if calculating within his mind, “one too many times to count.”

“Funny.” You gave him a quick bitter smile. All in good fun, clearly, for he took no offence. He just shot you a smile, running a clean rag over the bartop, collecting two glasses and wiping the rings of condensation they left upon maplewood. 

“Your man looks thirsty. Might wanna take him his drink now. Before he gets the wrong idea about me talking to ya.” You sighed, craning your head slightly to look back at Johnny who scanned the place with a scowl. It made your skin crawl the thought of his temper snapping again. Despite it, you left Henry with a playful wink his way before swanning back over, placing Johnny’s drink in front of him and a vermillon kiss to his cheek. 

Johnny sneered at the affection, wiping your lipstick stain from his cheek. All the confidence you had fell to the floor and shattered miserably. Liquid courage sloshed on the cured wood floor.

“Fuck’s sake, Doll. What you do that for?” He demanded of you, the disgust in his cruel cerulean eyes sending a chilling, agonising jolt down your spine. 

“Sorry, Johnny.” You shied away, folded your hands together, eyes on the floor.

“Ain't you gotta powder your nose or something? Go on. Piss off.” 

He was right. You’d be on soon. Drenched in the spotlight. Under the scrutinising, side cramping glare of everyone's eye. You could do with the quiet. So you shuffled off to your dressing room without a word more, holding back tears with your breath. 

In the mirror, you mourned the girl you were. Mourned the life you had before it all turned upside down. Mourned the man you fell in love with. And the monster you had no choice but to stay with. 

—

Joel was fuming. If you touched his skin you'd reel back with a scorched yelp because his blood ran hot, fast and thick under his flesh. Trust Tommy to catch himself in the web of underground crime. Always a joiner. Always a deserter too when things got heated. And who was left to untangle him from its intricate, venom snared weave? Joel ‘Gubbins’ Miller. He might as well have ‘mother to my brother’ branded on his forehead. Because that's what he was now. 

The war ended four years ago and ever since Tommy had been searching for his purpose. Preached about it round the dinner table in their grimy, mildew inhabited apartment like a preacher would his sermon. And every time it set Joel’s teeth on edge. Because he knew what came after the downfall. The pickup. 

Now, however, Joel was determined to nip this lunacy in the bud. Tear it up from the soil by the new roots. 

The Canary Club was one of the few remaining speakeasies around in Boston. To a cop it was practically a ghost of an establishment. Might as well not be there. But to a man like Joel, whose brother never stopped babbling on about the next best thing he had cooking for himself, it was as easy as pie.  

A shroud of cloud hung just above Boston’s looming buildings, teaming with the early moon to create a murky gloom over the dim city’s sin. It seemed to fill the hollow, smoggy air as they cast dark, taut shadows over the slick, grimy roads. The sky threatened rain for the third day in a row. A place that reeked of underground crime, drug rings and watered down, once bootlegged alcohol, laced with what one can only assume to be illegal too. All of that was washed down with the constant sour smell of new rain upon dirty tarmac. A city plagued and tarnished by its own rejects.The promise of work bought them in. But the lifestyle spat them back out. Chewed up and ruined by their own humanising hope.

He and his brother came in search of work. They were getting nowhere down south in Texas. On the dole and barely able to afford a loaf of bread between the two of them. Even their own mother hardly recognised her boys after the war. Said they were empty shells of men. Husks of the boys she raised. Killers. 

The woman was a pacifist at heart. And it was a trait that Joel not only saw as weak, but typical of women. Or that's what his father had socialised him into thinking. He didn't know where his father’s ideals ended and his started. As the days went by he saw more of the violence his father harboured in himself. Grimaced at the lug in the looking glass. 

Joel was no pacifist. But he didn't storm through the doors either. No gun was in hand ready to send people screaming bloody murder. That was stupid. A mistake that he knew could wind him up on the concrete in the flooded gulley with a bullet in his head where blood and water could finally mix. Instead he stole in quietly in the ambience of playing cards and a Jazz band, ordered himself a drink, and sat at the far corner of the bar where it was dimly lit. Just enough for him to see his drink and the room, but his face still remained shadowed. 

While he sipped in ponder, he took the chance to people watch. Scan the patrons for any uncanny resemblance of dear Tommy. But nothing. He seemed distracted by the careful and steady hand that polished glass after glass, though each of them were spotless before touching the rag. 

A pointless task. Some may say sisyphean. But the boy doing so knew when eyes were on him. It was a very rare occurrence if not related to his race. People of any darker colour were ogled often in these parts despite it being more accepted within the north of America. There was still divide and segregation. However, this new patron wasn't looking for Henry’s skin colour, rather contemplating how on earth a boy such as him had ended up in such a place. What connection he had to the gang. Was he like Tommy? Roped in at the side of the side of the road and choking on his remaining pride. Or in a sticky financial situation? All these questions seemed to circle like the rag in the crystal glass Henry held. 

“What’s your name, kid?” Joel asked him with an ex-smoker's voice, brow dark in the shadow. The boy looked up, eyes youthful, but they'd seen things no man should have to. 

“Henry.” He said after a beat, quick to refill Joel’s glass when it was empty besides a drop circled thin and amber in the bottom. “Yours?” Joel lifted his head, taking a sip before placing his glass back on the bartop in furrowed brow contemplation. 

“Joel.” He leaned forward on his forearms, haunched over the bar, before looking around again. “Whatcha doin’ here, Henry?” 

Henry laughed slightly, looking down at his feet before back in Joel's eyes. And what he was met with was the hollow ache of a man scarred by war. Henry’s face fell flat. 

“Working.” 

“No…I mean in Boston.”

Henry cleared his throat at the sudden, and even brash way Joel approached his question. So much that it took him a second to frown and then reply. 

“Came from Kansas. Hard for a black kid to find honest work there. Especially with a family to look out for.” His words were solemn and reflected a truth Joel knew all too well growing up down south. Even if he never lived it in his own white skin.

“You look a little young to have a kid.” 

“I don’t. I got a brother.” Joel nodded as he listened, waiting for him to go on. Which he did after a beat of silence. “Bright kid. Bright future too. He’s deaf though. Got a lot stacked against him in this world. Mom can't bring in enough to fund education for ‘im. So I stepped up.”

“No Daddy?” Joel asked and Henry shook his head. “How’d you end up here then?”

“A girl.” The look Joel gave Henry was sceptical. But the young boy was soon to put a stop to it all. “Not a girlfriend. Just a girl. We grew up in the same building. She moved up north for a life and I followed a few months later. She met a guy. A wealthy guy. And she wrote to me often of how swell Boston had been for her.”

Joel wasn't the questioning type. Neither one to beat around the bush. But Henry intrigued him. Reminded him a lot of Sarah. The challenge she had faced with the colour of her skin that he, as a white man, would never understand. He felt a guilt about it every day that flared up in the dark of night before his eyes closed for restless and futile sleep. “And this guy?”

“Him.” Henry nodded subtly over to the table of men playing cards. Poker. A game Joel knew well in the frontline and in Egypt where he fought. Him and a few others often huddled together in their own game. Nothing but the last pair of intact socks to bet on, or a single cigarette to get them through the night. Joel quit smoking the moment he got back. Knew it was something that made him unpredictable and jittery in the best of situations. “Johnny Boy Finnick. A big name in these parts.” 

Joel followed Henry’s gaze, but his attention was snagged by the unmistakable head of dark curled hair facing away from him. He knew his brother anywhere and his blood began to boil as he threw back his second drink and slammed the empty glass on the bartop. 

“Hey, man-” Henry tried, shoulders straining as he stood to attention. Joel didn't pay him any mind. Merely wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before his bar stool sharied upon the varnished wood floor. He cared not for the noise. Only the feeling he would get once his closed fist met the bone on the bridge of Tommy’s nose. 

Trumpets flailed to a stop and drums failed mid blow. The room fell silent after a chorus of gasps. 

He loved his brother. Deeply. So much it caused a chasm of a rib cracking hole in his chest every time Tommy slipped up. But he saw red now it all caught up behind his lids that blinked once. That split second of not seeing and before he had a chance to second guess, he was gripping the back of tommy;s collar and wrenching him up to his feet to deliver a shiner to the face. 

Tommy staggered back, and everyone at his table stood up with the intention to harm. Yet no one but the brawling brothers fought. As he gained his footing again, he also gained his senses, recognising Joel anywhere. 

“Joel, what the fu-” He was hardly able to finish before another shooting pain split his bottom lip open and Tommy’s mouth was filled with the taste of his own bitter blood. Blood he and Joel shared and were now shedding in a futile fight of nothing but testosterone. That was enough to send the same foul blow to his kin. Joel winced, knowing the crescent of a bruise that would bloom on his cheekbone overnight. One of Tommy’s many rings sliced his skin. He felt warmth in crimson dribble from a fresh flesh wound. 

“Hey!” One loud and bellowing voice that had the power to command a whole unit of men boomed out before neither Joel or Tommy had the chance to throw another fist. It was for the better. Any more and Joel’s knuckles would have bruised purple. A colour of shame. 

It was Johnny. And his face was stoic as he stared each brother down with a burning gaze that had even Joel’s hairs stood on end at the nape of his neck. Like an army stood to attention before the first charge. Except he didn't move. Joel knew now where he stood in the food chain of this speakeasy. And it was right at the very bottom. “You!” He pointed at Tommy. Go clean yourself up.” And Tommy went as pale as a funeral sheet before nodding meekly. His face melted from shock to shame in the blink of Joel’s very eye before he grumbled something under his breath and passed Joel with a sharp clip to his shoulder. 

It's his turn now. 

At this point you'd come out to see what the commotion was for. The walls, while thick upstairs in the printer's press, were thin in the basement. And you;d heard silence and the spit of a man as his blood splattered with spit on the floor in the doorway. 

“The fuck do you think you’re doin throwin’ fists in my god damned club for?!” He roared. And Joel had to take the duration of both inhale and exhale to get his lips and tongue to work. But the scowl on his face said it all. “Huh?!” Jonny’s nostrils flared like a spanish thoroughbred bulls’. 

“That’s my brother you got workin’ for ya. I ain't havin’ him in some shady drug ring you got goin in. I aint!” 

Jonnly was no stupid man. Hr was smart. Quick minded and knew a man with balls. But Joel also knew very little. So this one time, he took the approach of calmness, and used his usual lying tongue for truth. Any other time it would she forked like Lucifer's serpent form. But now he was a man of coolness. “Right.” Johnny nodded at him, his tone was one that could soothe a ravenous bear. But with an edge as sharp as a knife. So sharp it could slice skin in one swift swoop. “Sit down.” He commanded calmly. “Let’s get you a drink.” 

With a wave of his hand a cha was pulled out. Two heavy handed brutes shoving Joel down into a chair, an old fashioned presented to him by Henry in front of him on the maplewood table. Then Johnny addressed the room gently. Set its patrons at ease. The music played its jazzy, jolly tune once more. People spoke again.And Johnny took his seat opposite Joel. 

“Look here…” The gangster waited for Joel to give him his name. Which he did. “Joel, I appreciate a strong swing as much as the next guy. But I don't appreciate it in my establishment.” Joel nodded in understanding. His temper ashamed him. How it ran hot under his skin. Fizzled white when provoked until he saw red in rage and swung. Never blindly though. He wasn't a loose cannon like the  broken soldier stereotype enforced. Just a fractured man. 

“You’re a soldier aint ya?” “Was.” Joel said gruffly. Curtly and he brewed a stare across from Johnny.

“Oh, nah.” Johnny shook his head, swirling his drink in the crystal glass, “Once a brother in arms, always a brother in arms. The war sticks with ya. You’re a soldier.” “Fine. Yeah, I'm a soldier.” 

“I know the war. I served like you. Left a boy and came back a shell of a man. Now look at me.” Joel took a moment to calculate his motive here. Johnny’s arms stretched wide with a smirk of pure pride as he gestured to the heart of his Boston crime empire. “I got money. I got birds.” He held up his glass to Joel, “I got liquor.” then leaned forward and spoke in a grave tone, "What you got?” 

Joel swallowed harshly, unable to answer because he had nothing in reality. 

“You got a job?” He shook his head, exhaling through his nose. “No.”

“Figured. Hard finding work when all the women are competent enough to do it themselves. Fight for your country. End up on the streets. You don't die a hero like you thought you would. No one knows your name.” He scoffed, holding fingers up in air quotes around competent. It left a bitter taste of disgust in Joel’s mouth as the father of a daughter. Curled the edges of his tongue distastefully. Made him kiss his teeth to hold back the insult. “Well, people know my name.” Johnny paused again, the air grew thick between them and smouldered on their shoulders. He was squinting at Joel opposite him, sizing him up. Joel was rugged. A strong build and most likely a strong character too. Something Johnny could always do with having in abundance. And so when the devil's own smirk curled at his lip, Joel felt a question brewing at the very tip of his tongue. One that would change his life for better or worse. Regardless of it he declined or accepted. “And they could know yours too.”

Joel didn't want to admit it for the sake of his crumbling pride, but the man had it all. Even a good five years his junior, the man made a living for himself. Picked himself up from the dirt and used bloodshed and bodies for the foundations. 

“I could use a guy like you–”

“No.” Joel put his offer down flat before it had the chance to meet the air. 

“Hear me out.” He said calmly, and held up a hand, “A roof over your head. A steady income. A little extra dough in ya pocket?” Johnny rubbed his thumb and index finger together in the older man's face. An action to which Joel’s nostrils flared. It was embarrassing to even mull over. “Come on,” Johnny smirked. “Give it a go.” 

The southerner’s lips pursed, as if he was thinking it over. Which he was. But to what lengths would he go? Sure, Joel was conditioned in a short few months to kill. He was good at it. Mowed down men on the frontline like clockwork. And his trigger finger twitched at the thought of holding that power once more. But that didn't mean he was a man without morals. The men’s blood he;d coat his hands in had families. They were someone's son. Probably someone's husband or father. Joel knew the hollow ache loss left. The imprint of a shadow it left. The chasm ripped in your chest. Loss felt like an agonising, deep, helpless pit. But here was Johnny, throwing him a rope 

“You know, you’re right. This ain't the time to talk this over.” Johnny held his hands up and leaned back in his seat before they clapped back in his lap. Now you were at Johnny’s side once more. But the figure of Joel in his chair had something jumping in your bones. Tongue curling to taste his very words.  “Dollface here will patch you up.” 

You raised a brow, giving the two of them a dirty look. “Excuse me? Do I look like a nurse?” You shut up when Johnny glared. Swallowed your pride, and sighed inwardly. You both hated and loved the power he held over you. As much as you despised it at times, Johnny had your being wrapped around his finger like a puppeteer holds his strings. And tightly. You felt his tug at the strain in your limbs. 

“And you come back here tomorrow. We’ll talk in my office over a drink and a cigar. A good fucking drink.” 

—

Joel swallowed harshly when he saw you. Eyes, wide and decorated by dark mascara lashes, white liner on lower waterlines, face of a doll like Johnny’s nickname for you suggested. The red lipstick you had re-applied moments prior was glossy, inviting him to stumble over velvet words he would hear you speak. Lean closer so the blood red could graze the shell of his ear while you would whisper a dirty joke at him. 

He followed as you led him down a corridor off to the other side of the bar. Your dress seemed fit for hypnotising him into your bidding. Surely you were a siren who climbed the strats of a pier of the east coast and arrived here. Something about the beauty you wielded was not the everyday sort. It was the type you see women bend over backwards to achieve even a glimmer of for their man who came back after work. He could see himself now. Loosening his tie, hanging up his coat and hat. Leaving his briefcase and sanity at the door to see you in a pinafore and pin curls. Pretty gingham dress. He’d sit at the table and either be presented by you or a meal for his satiation. He’d prefer to devour the sweetness between your legs. 

Your hand in front of his face had his attention now. Fingers snapping. Nails manicured and painted the same shade as your lipstick. 

“Hey, you listening?” You asked, face set into displeasure. Joel straightened as he cleared his throat.

“What?” His tone was gruff and he mirrored your expression to you. His southern accent catching you off guard, but is intriguing. 

“I said sit down.” 

Joel looked over at the chair set at a vanity mirror you gestured to with an extended arm. The second time he had been asked to be seated. The second time he obeyed. 

You took your time to wet a washcloth in the small basin in the corner with warm water. Took the bottle of whiskey you stashed last week from the bottom of a rickety chest of drawers. Joel watched you in the mirror, eyes narrowed a fraction to make sure you were of no threat to him. He knew he could take you easily. In more ways than one. The power imbalance had his length twitching in his trousers. 

Your hands weren't gentle as you sat on the vanity between his legs. You took his stubbled chin in your grasp and jerked his head up into the light, tilting it to take a closer look at the gash. 

“Stay still.” You said curtly, holding the rag to the opening of the bottle and wetting it. You then pressed it over the pad of your finger. The initial touch made his teeth bare at you and a hiss to escape his mouth. His large wrist enclosing around yours to make you stop. “I said,” And you yanked your wrist from his hold, “stay still.” 

He did as he was told again. Silence setting his between the odd hiss from him and twitch of muscle under weathered skin. The crows feet at the side of his eyes were old. He clearly had lost his smile to something in the past. But you didn't ask, only wondered as you wiped the dried blood clean from his wound. “Fuckin grown man and you cant take a little sting of a cut.” You mumbled under your breath to yourself in amusement. Followed by a small huff of dry laugh.

“Maybe if you weren't digging your fingers into a fresh bruise I wouldn’t be wincin’.” You shot him a look and let go.

“All done.” And you held up your hands for good measure. 

“What are you doing here anyway?” You asked, tossing the rag aside and crossing your arms. He reached for the whiskey and took a large gulp, pursing his lips at the slow burn in the back of his throat. 

“None of your business.” 

“What’s your name?”

“You know my name.” He stated lowly. He was right. But you found a sick satisfaction in having any man you liked bend to your will. Answer any question you so pleased to hear the answer to. 

His bones groaned as he stood up from the chair. Your coat draped over the back of it fell to the floor and you swiftly got up to swipe it from the floor and hand it on the hook on the back of the door before pressing your back to it and facing him. Blocking his exit.  “Move.”

“Tell me your name.” You crossed your arms, jutting your chin up at him. 

“Don’t make me move you, princess.”

“Tell me your name.” 

Joel bit his tongue, the vein in his neck starting to pulse visibly under his skin that once again went hot. 

“Why do you wanna know?”

“Because I’m nosy.” You smiled, sarcastic and saccharine. “And i want to know the name i’ll be moaning tonight as i touch myself under the covers.” 

“Fuckin-” His jaw ticked, nostrils flared in his disdain. You kept your smile as he pinched the bridge of his nose with a small guttural noise from the back of his throat. A headache was starting to coil behind the strain of his eyes. “Joel.” And he looked back up at you. It still wasn't enough “Miller.” Your smile was genuine this time, just as sweet. You uncrossed your arms, standing up straight from the door to hold out your hand and give him your name in return. He rolled his eyes, reaching for the handle and swerving you. He pulled the door but you used your body weight to slam it shut with your back again. A loud slam and a creak of protest from its hinges.

“Where are you from, Joel?” 

“Is this a game to you, girl?” Joel growled. 

“Yes.” The smile you had was sly. Foxy. A  single finger ran down his chest and dared to slip just under his shirt’s collar. “I like games.”

“You don't wanna do that.” He warned, dark eyes burning you up inside from your very core. It was the look of a man’s lust that had been left untouched, unloved for quite some time now. It strained at his morality. But who were you to give up the warning and keen hand of a man who so desperately needed a release to the coiling tension of his shoulders. You saw it. Felt it in the rhythmic yet chaotic hammer of his heart against his ribs. As if it were trying with all its might not to break his own bones clean in two and lurch from its enclosure of flesh and bone. 

“And why not?” This was a devils game of chess. Careful calculated words from loose tongues and taking each other's moves in as you exhaled a counter. And oy had him three moves from checkmate. His king weak in defence, your advances stronger  by each word that fell into his eras from your red painted, enticing lips. He could feel his limbs being string up for you to pull at like a puppeteer in an advanced level of her craft. But he was no kind man. His words were even less forgiving than his disposition. 

“Because I aint a kind man. Haven't been for a long while. And I know types of things a man like me would wanna do to a pretty girl like you.” 

“I doubt it would be anything new.” You cooed, watching your finger as it traced a line lower over his buttons,  stopping at the top of his belt buckle and just shy of teasing at the growing bulge in his trousers. 

The tension between you was thicker than molasses. And it seeped through the cracks of his better judgement to the part of him that hungered for touch. That was ravenous for a single one of your fingers. 

“I don't think Johnny would like that.” 

“And I didnt like the way he spoke to me earlier.” You pouted. The way a child would when dined a sweet treat before dinnertime. 

“That aint a good reason to start an affair with me. Because when i get my grubby hands on ya there ain't no going back, doll.” 

His words were enticing you more. To have a man obsessing over your body. Your curves. Your voice singing his name as he fucked you dirtier than anyone into anything. Joel was that man now. He knew it in the very marrow of your bones that you were trouble. His new little minx. So it was no surprise when his lips crushed yours under the full weight of his sexual frustration. 

It was needy. Heated. A clashing of tongues and teeth as he pressed you with his entire simmering being into the wood of the door. His bulge grinding desperately into your thich that parted his legs. 

His tongue swiped your lower lip before drawing it back between his teeth for him to suckle on until it tingled deliciously. He was jealous with his touches. Groping your hips as the sating of your dress that crumpled to the floor. It revealed sweet sweet skin. Skin Joel wasted no time in delving in for the first damning lick. A pleasure to every sense. Sight, taste, touch, smell, sound. 

Heavy breaths were exhaled into the dewy skin of your clavicle, tongue languidly sliding over the high points of your collarbones and enclosing in a sharp suck over the skin just above your right breast. It sent a chorus of heavenly sinful, light and airy monas from your mouth and floated into his ears. His lips were chapped and weathered in contrast to the silk smooth of your skin. It was delightful. 

He went lower, got to his knees as he drank up the sense of a woman's skin for the first time in years. This was the taste of true damnation. He was past the opening of hell's gates and somehow found heaven in the parting of your thighs down the newly trodden path of your navel. 

He pressed his open mouth to your clothed cunt, tasted the seeping slick you gave him on his tongue and gluttonously inhaled your musk right at the apex of your thighs. Your fingers tangled into the curls of his messy, wind wrecked hair. Keening your hips up to press into the curve of his aquiline nose, and riding the burning in the pit of your belly starting to grow. Your head fell back against the door. Your mouth unhinged and letting out moan after sigh after mewl of his name. His face buried between the meat of your thighs as his hands gripped your asscheeks and spread them so he could push his face deeper between your folds. Your underwear drenched and ruined from your wetness and his spit while he tongued your hole through the flimsy lace. 

You pulled him back, smirked at the wreck he was with his lips sticky and shiny in the light of your dressing room. To then pull him up to your lips so you could curl your tongue into his mouth and taste yourself on him. It’s where the taste belonged. Among notes of whiskey and chewing tobacco and drugstore gum. 

His large hands pawed at your hips once more, listing you so your legs could wrap obediently round his waist. That's how it worked now. He wanted, you gave. And willingly like the sounds that fell into his motu like sweet, freshly harvested honey. Ut had the feel of money. Powerful and green like spring leaves. But with the warning of rotting when summer meets its tragic and fatal end. It was like trying to cross a canyon with a broken limb. Near impossible. The last sip of a drink that would ensure drunken and slurred movements. It took even the nest of a man his entirety to deny you, But deep down, Joel was a weak man. Strong in body, maybe mind too. But weak in soul. And he gave in with the cashing of your back against the vanity mirror. 

He had his faults. He knew that. And you did too. It had you wondering how a man like Joel loves. Did he change for his chosen lover? Or was he just as rough a callus as he was with everyone else. Would he destroy and ache and leave you wondering when your body would be at his whim next and how he would bend it to his will. Or would he let you lean into his embrace as he kissed down the column of your throat to the holy entitled epiphany between your thighs. The glisten of your hot cunt aching to be touched by anything. His everything. 

So you reached for his belt. So you undid it along with his buttons to touch his heated skin, To feel the blood flow beneath as the strain of each of his muscles. You ran a hand across his chest and he let his head fall back as a woman touched him for the first time as a man of war. A veteran.

He felt like he had been cast in gold by the sun for the first time in his life. Shed his skin for a new layer reserved just for you. As if he was thanking whatever resided up there for you. He was no believer in god, but, Jesus Christ, he was starting to believe in some form of higher power. You were proof that there was a blessing for him to steal away from the world. It was in your sound. Your taste. Your touch. It beckoned him the way your finger did, curling into the collar of his shirt to clash your lips with his and let. He had no autonomy over the moan that fell into his mouth where it festered at the back of his throat and was swallowed with a desperate and heady inhale. 

You trod roads into his skin with your touch. Ones he knew he would follow later that night in an erotomaniac’s pleasure. And you finally pulled his length free from his trousers. Your underwear was soon to follow and your slick aided the way he managed to sink so smoothly into your sopping heat. A squeeze he would commit to memory and savour like the taste of fresh and ripe fruit. Because you were. Fresh and youthful in age. Ready to be devoured to the core as a gleaning red apple would be. The very same one that even took in the garden of eden. Temptation. Fruit flesh to signify sin. 

He took his first bite out of you with a satisfying crunch. And keep devouring until there was nothing left but the remnants of your birth, ready to be resurrected, grown again in the form of a new tree. 

He stilled once he bottomed out, letting himself bask in the moment. The first time he was nestled deeply in the walls of your cunt. He heard your quiet whimpers for him to move. Felt the way your pert nipples brushed his sweat slicked skin. It was a ghost of a memory the last time he felt this. The heat of someone in the throes of intimacy. And it was all over him. It was the very air he wes starved of. The past was all paled in comparison because of the way your hips bucked pathetically to feel his thrust inside you. To get him going. No one had needed him this rawly, this undignifying before. 

A single hand clamped over your mouth, stilling your movements. He felt the tickle of your exhale against the pinky finger. 

“Stay still…” He commended with a swallowed down groan when you clenched around him, ironically repeating your words from earlier.

You looked at him. The glazed over, far away look in his eyes. His voice low and laden in a gravelly tone that came from the very back of his throat. You pulled him forward to lick it out again with your tongue when his hand fell to your throat. It gave a warning squeeze. And you once again canted your hips in protest. 

This time he moved. And it was like poetry as it hit that toe curling spot inside you. Made your eyes close in blissful ignorance of what this would do to you. YOu slick drooling from your cunt onto his shaft until it shined at his very base and dripped down his heavy balls. 

His hand squeezed your throat tighter. Had you yelling for him in a suppressed squeal. His other hand clamped around your mouth for you to moan into. Your words of praise lost on his ears, listened to by his palm instead. Every devil was fuelling this act of infidelity. This act of carnal sin you both needed. Ut unwound your bones, but had the coil in your belly cramping with each swift buck of his hips. 

You met his swift thrusts in a desperate attempt to be of use to him. Finding it hard to breathe, yet alone Your cunt spasmed delectably. Searching for a new feeling. A feeling primal and dirty as the streets of Boston. Your eyes rolled back in your head as your legs trembled while he went on, giving you something you would remember from this day forward, A sentence of being binded to him.

You were in the arms of the devil himself. St his ,ercy. Nsd nothing felt more thrilling than the pleasure that rolled at a landslide's power and pace down your spine into your core. 

Another squeeze round your throat. Another unhinged moan into his hand. He snarled, baring his teeth at you before pressing his face into the crook of your neck and biting down. Your eyes closed and painted a picture of stars. You were close to seeing angels by now and the deep ache of pleasure grappled your flesh and had goosebumps flicking up to attention over your flesh.

His chest heaved with each curl of his hips. Your exhales heavier by the second while you moaned his name like a mantra to his hand. His teeth imprinted on your back like a randhishing. A mark of the sin that was witnessed by the two of you that day. Your voice was shrill. A repeated ‘Joel! Joel! Joel!’

“Fuck, yeah, sing f’me doll. Sing f’me. Let em know who’s doin’ this to you.” He panted in vain. “Tell me.” “Feels so good–”

“Again.” He demanded. 

“Feels so good! Too good!” 

And it was. He had you burning white hot at the end of an illicit teather. You gripped his back with talons of hellbirds. Clawing at his shirt clad back. The wings of hi shoulderbales. The snake length of his spine. 

“That’s it. Tell ‘em. Tell me! Tell me in making you feel fuckin’ good.” 

“You are. Harder Joel.” His pace was like poetry. Ripped you in tow and had you displayed to him. One knee was hooked over his hunched shoulder, spine curled as his forehead pressed to yours. `The new angle had you singing like a songbird. High and melodic in tune.  Your kitten heel slipping off and clattering to the floor without a second thought. The head of his cock nipped your cervix. The lewd wet sounds of your pussy smothering him in your slick and your shared moans filled the room. Everything of you was his now. You couldn't even think of giving this up to Johnny. Yes, he fucked you dirty. But Joel fucked you like it was his sole purppose of living. Like it was what gave him life. 

You fell. You fell as soon as you hit your climax with a mewling moan that ended Joel right there and then. Coming together with heavy breaths and shaking, trembling chests. His release inside of you, strings of his come smearing you in him. Marking you for later. Well and truly ruined for any other warm body that dared to slip into your sheets. 

But falling was not the problem. Only when you hit the ground is what causes all the grief. And the look you shared once the gold haze of afterglow faded was what confirmed this. 

What have you done? How would you live without this?

[stevie-petey]

speaking of jon, can we get a blurb of how he was feeling when bug fell at the house and almost died by the demogorgon? i know that guy was close to tears

YES YES YES I CAN ABSOLUTELY DO THIS BLURB ANON

enjoy <3

"bug-" one second you're beside jonathan, the next you're on the ground, clutching your ankle. when jonathan realizes this, he feels the world stop. "bug!"

he starts to scream, tries to go and help you up, but a hand grabs at his jacket, stopping him. jonathan, blind with fear and rage, screams at the person holding him back. "no, let go of me! i have to help her, nancy!"

the monster stalks closer to you, and jonathan watches as you try to stand up but only fall back down. youre in pain. he can see it all over your face, the way you scrunch your eyebrows together as your lips quiver.

he has to help you.

jonathan cannot let you die.

youre the only person who puts up with his bullshit, who can take his shitty days and make them into his favorite days. youre his best friend, the first person who ever paid any attention to him. hes based everything about himself around you. his kindness is an extension of yours, his intellect is a result of yours, his humor a connection of you.

but youre on the ground in pain and nancy is holding jonathan back and the monster is inches away from your face.

even if jonathan breaks free from nancys grasp now, he'll never make it in time. you seem to know this too, and jonathan watches as you nod at nancy, accepting your fate as if this makes any of this okay, and jonathan just wants you back in his arms where nothing can ever hurt you ever again.

he loses his voice, screaming your name repeatedly. he cant do anything. he cant fucking do anything.

all jonathan can do is watch as you brace for your own death, the death that he caused. jonathan byers, the boy born from selfishness and greed, is what kills y/n henderson in the end.

the monster bends down, gets ready to lunge, and jonathan forces himself to look away. he cant watch. sobs wrack his body, he thinks hes about to die alongside you.

then, in a flash, steve harrington has his arms wrapped around you and carries you towards jonathan and nancy.

the second he sets you down, jonathans body collides against yours. his hands are everywhere. they sprawl all over your back, your sides, your head, your arms. every part of you that he can touch, jonathan does.

youre alive.

youre alive.

"bug." the nickname falls like a prayer from his lips. jonathan has never believed in a god, but he does believe in threads attaching everyone to each other.

and his thread connecting to you hasnt been severed yet.

your fingers find their way to jonathans hair and you tell him its okay. you soothe him and jonathan only then realizes that hes shaking. your body heat presses against him, a reminder that youre alive, and jonathans head buzzes with concern.

"did it hurt you, are you bleeding?" jonathans hands continue to run all over your body, if he misses any sign of injury then he'll never forgive himself. "there should be a first aid kit-"

you grab his hands and kiss jonathans knuckles. your lips, so familiar against his skin after years of being soothed this way, settle something within jonathan. the kiss seep into his bones, spreading throughout his body, and slowly hes able to breathe again.

"im fine, just twisted my ankle. if you help me up, im sure i'll be able to stand again."

jonathan helps you up in a heartbeat. you lean against him and he wraps an arm around your waist. youre still here. he has to remind himself of this. youre alive and thats all that matters.

but you almost died tonight.

jonathan had just almost lost you.

your hair is a mess, your shirt us torn and stained with your blood from earlier, and your ankle is the size of a balloon and yet jonathan thinks youve never looked more beautiful.

jonathan doesnt realize hes staring at you until you turn away, your cheeks flushed, and he hates the way his stomach drops. hes made you uncomfortable again, crossed some invisible line, but jonathan is so fucking tired of lines.

what matters is that youre alive.

your hand is in his, and jonathan knows that no matter what happens next, hes never letting go of you ever again.

youre his and hes yours. threads and lines and strings in all.

[1waveshortofashipwreck]

Hey Em how are you? Soooo can I request a ship? I'm Jess (she/her), im in my late 20s, I'm 5 ft 3, I have short (peaky blinders style hehe) dark brown hair and light brown eyes, as far as I know (I did the test once) my MTBI is INTJ??? I consider myself a cat person, but I also like dogs too, what else? Oh I really love outdoor activities such as hiking because I love nature, rocks and maps!!! I'm a bookworm, kinda nerdy and really musical fueled person and my faves are jazz, bossa nova and classic rock music (as you know). My love language is probably small acts of service and tiny little stuff here and there and I can't think anything else interesting to tell you :(

AAAAAAAAA HI JESS!!!! I'm sorry it took me so long to get to your ship 😅🫠 thank you for being so kind and patient!! I had a lot of fun writing this one lol 😆 Love you and hope you enjoy!!

I ship you with...

Ron Speirs!

A song from my playlist that reminds me of y’all’s relationship - You’re My Best Friend by Queen

How you met

So I’m picturing you’re part of WAC and assigned to be an administrator/runner person with Easy Company

It’s towards the end of the war in Hagenau

Ron was getting frustrated with all the paperwork bullshit he needed to do as Easy Company’s new CO

He was in his makeshift office trying to filter through papers when he heard a knock

“What is it?” He all but barks at the intruder

You come in and all of a sudden the paperwork doesn’t matter

For one thing, he is FLOORED

Your hair and eyes are just fucking striking, and you had this air about you

Usually everyone was intimidated by Ron, especially when first meeting him, but you didn’t seem put off in the slightest - you held your own

“Captain Speirs, here are the documents you requested, and a couple of others from Regiment”

He had to compose himself before opening his mouth, otherwise his tongue probably would’ve rolled onto the floor

“Thank you Sergeant… will that be all?”

Usually you were the one to ask that question, but Ron wasn’t really ready for you to leave the room

“Um, yes sir”

“Alright, dismissed”

Later that day he phoned Regiment and asked for you to be assigned as his orderly

How he knew he loves you

So you’ve been working as Ron’s orderly for a while, and the two of you work like a well-oiled machine

Like Easy Company has never been so efficient and organized

The two of you almost seemed to have your own code, and it bewildered everyone in Easy Company

How were you not afraid of him? And How were you able to tell him what to do?

You had grown to like Ron a little more than a Sergeant should like an officer, but you never acted on it

So y’all are in Austria and everyone is getting excited to go home

Ron was in a similar mindset, but then he realized

All of his daydreams about being home involved you

How the fuck did you wind your way into his mind? What was he going to do? Was he really going to ask you to come home with him? If not, could he live without you?

“Ron!”

Your voice snapped the officer back to reality, but soon he was lost again

He was looking into your eyes, displaying a certain passion he had never seen before

It was now or never

Ron walked to where you were, on the other side of his desk, put his hands on your shoulders, and gently but confidently pressed his lips to yours

Time stopped while the two of you kissed, and neither of you could believe it was really happening

“Come back to Boston with me, Jess,” he asked you quietly, only pulling away enough to ask the question

Your brain was still going a million miles a minute, but you were able to focus enough to say

“Yes sir”

A conflict that arose and how y’all solved it

So you like to have your introvert time outdoors, and you usually let Ron know if you’re going to go on a hike or something

When you woke up Ron had already gotten up and out of bed, when you went out to the kitchen Ron was there with a cute lil bedhead making breakfast

You wrapped your arms around his slutty lil waist and planted a kiss on his shoulder “Morning, sunshine”

He smiled and turned around to wrap his arms around you and place a lil kiss on your nose “Morning doll, you going on your hike today?”

“Yeah, I’m trying a new trail, but I’ll be home before dark”

“Alright, you be safe for me”

“Yes sir”

So you go on your hike and it’s a fun little trail but it takes longer than you anticipated and it’s a couple of hours after sunset by the time you get home

You open the door and you notice Ron pacing in your living room

He sees you open the door and locks eyes with you, and his eyes are angry

“Where the fuck have you been!?”

You stood there for a moment like a deer in the headlights

“I was… on my hike…”

“You said you’d be home before sunset! It’s almost 11!” Ron yelled, he’s never yelled at you before and it was something you hoped never to experience again

“I-it took longer than I thought Ron… I’m sorry…” You were trying to keep a calm and level voice, but Ron just seemed so upset

Ron heard the tone in your voice and automatically knew he was being rather harsh

He bit his lip in frustration and looked around the room, tapping his foot anxiously

“I read a story in the paper today after you left, there were a couple of hikers that disappeared on a trail near here…”

His voice was quiet, almost cracking?

“I…I was scared when you didn’t come home…”

Ron looked up at the ceiling, begging the tears not to fall from his eyes

Your heart just sank as you ran over to him, enveloping him in a hug

“Oh Ron, I’m so sorry, the trail was just longer than I thought”

He buried his face in your neck as quiet sobs left his mouth

The two of you just stood there for a moment, holding each other close

“I don’t want to ask you not to go on hikes, Jess, but the idea of you just disappearing is terrifying…”

“How about you come with me on my next one?” You put your hands on his cheeks and gently turn his face to look into his eyes

He smiles softly at your suggestion and nods his head

The two of you share a soft kiss before settling in for the night

Your happily ever after (what your relationship looks like!)

This man does everything for you and there’s nothing you can do to stop him

Breakfast? Made and plated when you get out of bed

Dishes? Done yesterday

Your car broke down? He drives you to work and takes your car to the shop

Literally Ron would do absolutely anything for you

Sometimes though you beat him to something (like you do the dishes before he gets to it) and he’s just so… moved?

Like the idea of someone doing something for him is just so foreign so when you cook dinner or do the laundry he just falls in love with you all over again

A silly headcannon about your relationship!

So you tell Ron you consider yourself a cat person

Sweet boy decides to get you a kitten for your birthday

He has no idea where to even begin with it though

He enlists the help of *drunk Speirs voice* LIEUTENANT LIPTON

He picks the most adorable, affectionate kitten EVER and keeps it at Lipton’s place until it’s your birthday

The morning of your birthday he’s arranging everything to be super cute and sweet and decorated when you wake up - I’m talking balloons on your chair, special birthday pancakes, the works

He snuck out last night to pick up the kitten so he could give her to you later in the afternoon

But the sweet baby escapes her carrier and makes her way into the kitchen

You wake up to a loud crash and run to the kitchen

The kitchen is in tatters and Ron is out of breath sitting on the floor, covered in maple syrup and the kitten sleeping on top of his head

He sees you and you SWEAR there’s a blush on his cheeks

“Happy birthday darling,” he offers in a defeated tone

All you can do is laugh before kneeling next to Ron (and take a Polaroid of him with the kitten)

“Who’s this lil baby?” You ask as you take the sleepy kitten in your arms

“Your birthday present…”

Your eyes just light up and you look down at your new fur baby before pulling Ron into a tight hug (forgetting he’s covered in maple syrup)

“Do you like your gift love?”

“Yes sir”

Thank you again for the request Jess!!! Hope you enjoyed it 💕🩷✨

[silviakundera]

Empresses in the Palace ep 13

I really like bestie Meizhuang's practicality and no-nonsense style. Too bad she's definitely gonna die (since her name isn't Zhen Huan). Honestly, she and ZH should be the perfect team: ZH is the right amount of paranoid and distrusting, bestie is more pessimistic and calculating. But I think the flaw is, they're too permissive of each other. I mean, they give advice but aren't adamant and demanding about it. If you're really gonna say you're sisters, BE BOSSY ABOUT IT. smh

Tapping in Ling Rong was smart. I never agreed with them not keeping her close.

Poor Fourth Prince. It's both a terrible idea to get associated with a kid the emperor hates... and I wish Zhen Huan could afford to openly care about him. Seems like a good kid.

ZH loosening up when she thinks no one is watching and being playful with her maid is THE SADDEST THING because you are struck that this is the real her. And she has to hide this person at all times and walk a tightrope in the proper concubine act. Even with Meizhuang she is all politeness, isn't so free & easy.

Meet cute with the real Prince Guo. Except this is a horror story, so no such thing. "You must not tell this to anyone. Otherwise, I'll have no burial ground for my body."

I love the old consort. She just straight up leaves the party all, 'I've seen enough drama in my day. Too tired for all this bullshit.'

If she can see it clearly, why can't the emperor? tbh I think he can too. It just doesnt threaten or affect him so he doesn't care.

Hell workplace dinner where everyone is drinking bored, so they've ganged on someone for entertainment. Everyone is salivating at the spectacle of the protagonist embarassing themselves. So of COURSE protagonist will shock everyone with their Secret Special Skills™. It's a very cliche trope but I think most viewers would have to admit that WE LOVE IT. We all eat this shit up with a spoon.

Ep 14

IM SCREAMING. Hua Fei, I pledge fealty. Marry me. "Consort Fleur, what is the matter with you?" Wavering, coughing, making indigestion faces: "I have no greviance over anything. I lost my composure because I was overcome with emotions watching Lady Sourire's performance." The emperor keeps being like, oh REALLY babe but you're basic. When did you start liking poetry? and babygirl puts her whole pussy into it. 👏👏 Girlboss gaslight gatekeep.

ZH really out here eager to co-parent with Meizhuang and ready to rush back from kissing the emperor's ass. I know she legit was into him (why??) at the start but I feel like reality has set in and she's just playing the part now. She's drawing her and Meizhuang's names together with a heart in her Lisa Frank notebook and planning how to spend their golden years together after they pop out a couple kids.

Hua Fei, the light of my life, breaks down the politics of it all. She's very savvy and will be a near impossible opponent to defeat - unless, of course, you have the protagonist halo. or if bro starts losing battles.

Empress pops in to remind us that being the CFO also sucks. Endless, tireless smiling and benevolence. You can't even throw a coquettish tantrum or two for the luz.

The ghost of the empresses's sister that the emperor loved most lingers yet again. Did the empress kill her sister? The thunder & lightening say yes.

The mess with Ling Rong's dad and the pull of Hua Fei's brother great examples of how the harem struggles aren't really about 'a bunch of sad women fighting over a man'. Being in the harem is entering a circle of power and influence. Yes, the concubines aren't supposed to 'discuss state affairs' but that's a rule made to be circumvented. Pleasing the emperor can make him reward your noble family and factions of the harem are connections within powerful noble families. Because Ling Rong is there, even though the emperor doesn't remember her name she has strings to pull. Whether it works out this time for her, it's a recourse she wouldn't have otherwise. And Meizhuang is able to go straight to the emperor's residence and get an update on the situation and counsel from the head eunuch. They have influence and control beyond what other citizens have.

[of course, we can't forget the prize for this hunger games is the biggest of them all -- NO, not some royal dick, but having your kid be the next emperor. Putting your family in the history books forever as part of the dynasty. Potentially changing history.]

[that's why I don't mentally categorise Story of Yanxi Palace as a harem drama. That's the setting, true, but Yingluo enters of her own will and it's due to her revenge quest. She isn't advocating for or protecting her clan and has zero intent to climb the ladder, but is acting in revenge of her sister, then her sworn sister empress, then her bestie. Then she inadvertently falls in love with her frenemy emperor (of all things!) and wants to accompany him, despite her terror of childbirth. She has no interest in the throne for herself, her clan, or her kids. She's playing the game all the wrong way, because she's not playing it at all - her goals aren't aligned to anyone else's. That is the delight of Yanxi Palace; she's dropped into everyone else's harem drama with a metaphorical sword on her back, the unpredictable engine of chaos in this carefully choreographed dance of waxing and waning power & influence.]

Empress really shows off her skills in this episode. No one actually knows how hard she tried for Ling Rong's dad but she has the position to get away with advocating, without losing much. And she gets their gratitude and steers them towards fighting my gf Hua Fei in her stead. Empress was the biggest winner in this incident.

ZH on her way there, as she expertly manipulates the emperor by commenting on state affairs without actually directly discussing them. She's smart to be hiding the depth of her education and only bringing it out when necessary.

Damn she's really playing the "you're my ✨husband✨" card for all it's worth. And we can see that, for now, it's worth a lot.

The maid making the play for the emperor's interest with the lotus blossoms is the Soon to be Evil half-sister, right?

[blueberry-writer]

HII IM THE SAME ANON WHO SENT THE FURST VANITAS REQUEST!!! It was so good tysm😭😭 So im back ofc bc it was wonderful

Anyway can u make a vanitas fluff alphabet? If not maybe some kissing hcs with gn reader? Ty in advance!!❤️❤️

Notes:Oh my, hi! 'Thank you'for what? i love write request! i hope you enjoy Vanitas fluff alphabet!!💙💙

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Usually you go to 'hunt' vampires to be treated withVanitas and Noè

In your free time you two go and visit beautiful places together tasting the typical dishes every now and then Noè will come to make the third wheel

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He loves everything about you but the thing that physically prefers are your eyes

He just loves to get lost in them and remember that these beautiful eyes belong to his better half

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

I have the hc that Vanitas, because of his past, often suffers from panic attacks so in his own way he would know well how to behave.

He’ll wait until you’re ready to talk and look him in the eye.

If you can’t, he understands it perfectly.

Without speaking, he will put a blanket on your shoulders and prepare you a tea that will leave near you that will serve to calm down.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He will never admit it but he has already made a lot of mental movies about your future life together: He will be a world-famous doctor in the world of vampires, you will be his beautiful, intelligent and lovable wife and together you will have two children, a male and a female.

... yeah, we can say that he has a lively imagination

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Dominant, he loves to annoy you and 'ruin' your day with his horrible jokes, maybe sometime he would even say dirty jokes😇

BUT If you get tired of his dirty and not dirty jokes and you can respond properly, you can see his cheeks blush and see Vanitas that becomes a lovely tsundere

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Usually you two never fight except for bullshit and therefore are useless quarrels that end in one/two minutes.

But if the fight is serious... it’s gonna be a little messy.

If it’s his fault, surely Noè can reason with him in one way or another.

If it’s your fault, it depends on your character!

But once you apologize to him ( and if it wasn’t particularly bad) he will forgive you after an hour or two and you will be back to being the usual couple.

If it’s serious, it’ll take a while, maybe a month or two, but don’t worry, he’ll take care of you without being noticed

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s grateful, but his pride will never allow him to admit it in front of everyone.

But I’m sure he’ll tell you when you two are alone at a special time or when you’re asleep.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He has few secrets he hides from you.

But these few are the worst, they all talk about his past and he’s afraid that if you found out, you might not love him anymore and leave him.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

is very inspired by you, yes.

But when he tried to change it didn’t end well

So you’re gonna have to put up with your annoying boyfriend the way he is 🙌

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Yeah. Yeah, he does.

He gets jealous when someone gets close to you and you don’t have a problem with it.

If that person is someone you both know, then he’s going to start a 'comedy show' about how he can’t be that close to you.

If it’s someone he don’t know then he’ll come up to you, put your hand on your side and say:"heyy baby! how are y-.. oh? who are you? a friend of y/n? Ohh i get it, well nice to meet you, i’m their boyfriend Vanitas." accentuating heavily the 'their boyfriend'.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

we all saw how he kissed Jeanne, right?

Yes, yes, yes and yes. I allready said yes? Vanitas has a natural talent for being good at kissing.

Your first kiss with Vanitas was natural and not forced at all, it was very soft and with a touch of malice which made everything perfect.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

His confession was... a little peculiar. 

He confessed after a life-or-death situation in which you were very close to death.

He was really afraid of losing you, so as soon as you recovered he took courage and confessed to you as the sun went down leaving room for the beautiful blue moon.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Of course he does, he wants to be with you all his life (as I said earlier, he has made many mental movies about it).

He’d probably propose with a nice silver ring with a sapphire set.

Oh Lord, on the night of the proposal he would be so nervous and embarrassed.

He took you out on the terrace of a beautiful restaurant, and my God, you could easily see that that night he blushed for the least.

Obviously Noè and Dominique will be disguised as waiters to check that vanitas doesn’t mess up

At the end of the dinner, while you were on the balcony admiring the full moon, he knelt down, his face completely red (he is not used to these things, poor dear) and finally he will propose to you.

"W-Will you marry me, y/n."

You will say your yes and only then you will see the whole crowd (Noè, Dominique, Jeanne, Dante, Johann, Riche, Oliver and Roland) applauding and shouting with joy putting both of you embarrassed.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Princess/prince” “my girl/boy” and somethime even “my love”

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He has never experienced love in his life, so this strong feeling leaves him a little stunned.

He has never experienced love in his life, so this strong feeling leaves him a little woozy.

He was so stunned that for a while he tried to avoid you in every way, he tried to oppress the desire to see you and be close to you.

At first you thought you had done something wrong, it was a huge relief for you when Noè said that vanitas was trying to avoid you 'just' because he had such a great love for you that he didn’t know how to behave.

Slowly Vanitas became accustomed to this feeling, to the point where he could not do without it.

he was always clinging to you and one way or another you always ended up having dinner or lunch together. He just can’t help loving you.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He has no problem showing you to others, on the contrary, he boasts of having the best s/o in the world

"See that beautiful person Noè? That’s MY beautiful s/o!"

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Definitely his medical skills.

If you’re hurt, he won’t hesitate for a second to come and cure you

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Usually when you’re with other people it’s more flirty than romantic.

But when you two are alone, you’ll have a pampering-thirsty Vanitas that’s sticking to you 24-7

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Maybe even more than it should be!

he just can’t help encourage his beloved

"Come on love! you can do it, I believe in you!"

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

we can say that your adventures around the world of vampires make your relationship never banal and not at all boring

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

In his own way, he’s empathetic and very understanding.

He’s a little childish, but he knows when to be serious, and he would never allow himself to hurt you.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

is very important. He needs to be with you, he have to be with you.

You’ve unlocked emotions he’s never felt before.. You made him feel the feeling that is called love. You are, his love.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

he loves it when you cuddle him and start playing with his hair. he melts under your touch.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Yeah. Man, he loves it.

he cannot stay without pampering and physical affection for more than a week

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He’s obviously more grumpy, he can’t help it.

If only someone would try to talk to him about it would send him to hell as a glance.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Yes, as already mentioned many times he thought of your future wedding with him many times, imagine how you would look beautiful with a wedding dress.

Surely, he would like to have a family with you. A new chapter in his life with you.

He wants and will always be at your side even if sometimes he needs to be alone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ That's it! i hope you liked it!💙

[cainware]

“sometimes i feel i’m being crushed under the weight of everything i’ll never be” pls omg 🤲

(Okay okay im so excited for this one!!! You didn't give me a character, so! I'm running with Dick and Wally!)

"Dude, you have to talk about your feelings at some point. You know that, right?" Realistically, yes, Dick Grayson knew that. He was stubborn and impulsive, and a little reckless from time to time, but he wasn't stupid. In fact, he was pretty damn smart.

But smarts can only get you so far, and they certainly don't make handling your emotions any easier. Especially not when you were raised by a genius in a fucking batsuit that had the ability to show the emotional spectrum of a block of stale cheese, and that was pushing it on a good day. Dick Grayson was hyper-aware of everything that crossed his mind, and because he knew it was bullshit and unreasonable to feel the way he was, he settled on the most rational way to handle it.

Ignore it.

"I'm fine, Wally. Really, I'm okay." Dick said, avoiding the stare being sent his way. He couldn't do this right now. Wally couldn't catch his eye, no matter how hard he tried. Dick knew better, it seemed, because Wally was absolutely attempting to break him via the puppy eyes.

"Are you, Dick? Cause to me it looks like you had a total meltdown in front of half the current Justice League because of... telepathy? I'll be honest, I don't even know what happened there." Wally admitted, holding out a hand to rest on Dick's shoulder. "It's like Bruce looked at you and you just... lost it. What's going on, man?"

Dick froze as he felt Wally touch his shoulder, sighing quietly as he felt some small part of him collapse in on itself. Wally wouldn't ask if he didn't care, he knew that. But something about this whole thing made his stomach turn. He hated giving voice to his feelings; he'd much rather bottle everything up until it exploded, much like it had today. But when he looked up, he found nothing but concern written across his friend's face.

"Wally... damnit, I hate that you can wear me down like that." Dick finally said, slumping in on himself as Wally lead him over to the table in the center of the room. Assigned seating be damned, Wally plopped down in the designated Lantern chair and Dick took the spot beside him in the designates Wonder Woman spot.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be here to listen. I'm just worried, bud." Wally admitted, watching the way Dick fought some silent, unseen foe behind his eyes. It took fifteen minutes, Wally kept count, for Dick to finally speak again.

"Sometimes... sometimes it feels like I'm being crushed under the weight of everything I'll never be." Dick muttered, gaze fixated on the floor between his feet. The words burned as they came out, and Dick felt like he might get sick if he had to say it again. "Its like... no matter what I do, no matter how much good I do or how far I make it, it's always going to reflect back on this impossible standard. B, he doesn't give praise lightly. And I know that, but... shouldn't doing good mean that you at least acknowledge the accomplishments instead of focusing on the mistakes?"

Wally sat quietly, turning the words over in his mind as he considered what Dick said. Dick made good points, though he supposed he'd never understand the real problems between his friend and Bruce. Wally had only ever (and would only ever) know as much as he needed to, and he was okay with that. But Dick was obviously in pain for a greater reason than Wally realized.

"Dick, I can't pretend to understand what kind of psychological warfare goes on between you and him. That's way out of my wheelhouse, and I'm not going to bullshit you." Wally said, reaching over to rest a hand on Dick's knee. Dick lifted his head, meeting Wally's eyes as he listened. "But I do know that that guy has like... zero idea how an everyday person thinks. He acts like he's never experienced a human emotion in his life sometimes, and that's not a fair reflection of you."

"You do so much for everyone else, dude. You stretch yourself thinner than Plasticman and bend over backwards for the people you care about, and when you're spread that thin, you're bound to mess up from time to time. But I don't think for one second that there's a standard you're trying to live up to that you haven't already met in everyone else's eyes." Wally said, smiling as he sat up straight, reaching over to bump his fist gently against Dick's chest.

It pulled a laugh from somewhere deep inside Dick's chest, a light that he hadn't even realized was beginning to fizzle out. But then again, Wally always did have that spark about him. Dick figured there was a friction joke in there somewhere, but he kept it to himself when Wally spoke again.

"You're a good man, Dick. One of the best. Now let me be a good guy too, and hand some of that weight over. Nobody's getting crushed on my watch, you got that?"

[luffythinker]

Aoyama/Bakugo Anon back again to bring my fanfiction thingy that's not a fanfiction but kinda is ?

Previously on whatever this is

"We don't have to commit to anything but i would like to." Bakugo says between kisses and snuggles. "Give me a reason to want to be ready."

This is his way of saying kiss me on the mouth and Aoyama does. Bakugo balls his hands in Aoyama's shirt, it gets messed up cause his hands are sweaty but neither of them care.

---

Bakugo feels fireworks go off when Aoyama kisses him, it's soft it's his first real kiss CAUSE IMMA BE REAl Deku is his first kiss but i want his first kiss to be special so im gonna say his first kiss was when he was a kid and Midoriya kissed him on the lips cause he said "That's what people do when they love eachother and i love you Kacchan" to which he just replied "Whatever Deku" THEY WERE KIDS IM SURE BOTH MOTHERS BRING THIS UP ALL THE TIME- its funny

Anyway Aoyama doesn't make it weirdly long or anything he pulls away first cause Bakugo is lost in the sauce. He didn't notice it but he was grabbing onto Aoyama's shirt his hands balled into the cotton fabric. He snaps out of it with a semi loud "HUH" like he does you know the way he does if you watch the dub.

"T-thats it? That's fucking it?"

"Hehe, was you expecting more darling?"

"I-... you..." Bakugo is red as a tomato searching for the words hes unable to find that linger in his mind and at the end of his tongue.

It's almost laughable how adorable Bakugo is here tonight. "I see this that was reason enough was it not?" The smile on his face makes Bakugo want to slap it off, but he rather enjoys how pretty it looks so he decides against the idea of smacking the pretty boy.

Pretty boy? Since when was a boy ever pretty to him? GAY AWAKENING - well in my honest to god opinion Kirishima is Bakugo's gay awakening, the way he reached his hand out to save him tell me he didn't have a gay panic when they started living in the dorms but he forced himself to get over it. - This one he's unable to force himself to get over it like a headcold that wont go away he's fallen like a star for the boy who wears glitter, the boy who probably wears a little make up, the boy who's so secretive about everything he does and somehow a open book in class A. His pretty boy Bakugo starts to like how that sounds the more he repeats it in his head.

His pretty boy twinkles.. His.

"Look here sparkles, starting from today forward i'm not gonna bullshit this feeling anymore." Aoyama looks confused at the face that was seconds ago very restful looking, now his eyebrows are furrowed and he's not using his inside voice anymore, it was cute. he kinda prefers/wants it back now.

Saying he likes him means admitting it first, Katsuki Bakugo never admits to anything first unless its about being the best, this fucker is going to admit his love for him first. "I'm gonna embrace it so you better do the same!" He's not leaning against him as much anymore cause he's trying to prove a point.

It's a test to see how long this will last before the sparking boy says it first.

"Don't hold back anything, if we're gonna do this we do this right got that?"

Aoyama is extremely confused as to what in god's green earth Bakugo is talking about but if he had to take a guess he thinks he means if they are going to be in a relationship he doesn't want them to fake it? Aoyama isn't really sure but he is sure he wants what just happened to happen again.

"Um, Oui, i think we should try."

"Glad we're on the same page." Bakugo gets up. "It's pass 8:30 going over 9:00 and we've got classes in the morning so go the fuck back to your room and go the fuck to sleep your keeping me awake Twinkles."

This is the harshest and kindess way he could get thrown out of someone like Bakugo's room and still have all his limbs. Someone from the bakusquad sees Aoyama leaving Bakugo's room with a dumb look on his face (we are in agreement Jirou is in the Bakusquad so maybe it's her lol)

On the bus for a hero field trip

Bakugo doesn't make any attempts to hold Aoyama's hand but when Aoyama also doesn't he gets a ping on his phone from a certain blasty astroid blond telling him if he wants to hold his hand he better damn well hurry up and do it.

"Don't think i didn't see you looking at me like a fucking gazelle trying to figure out if the water is safe to drink earlier..." He reads

afterwards another text is sent

"i don't bite ya know."

He doesn't have to see his face to know the emotion connected to this sentence. It's like a puppy begging to be pet. He's never felt so insulted and charmed at the same time. It's the weirdest feeling in the world. Bakugo is so cute the way he tries to get people to make the first move Aoyama almost feels bad about playing this game cause he could play it all day and never get tired.

Aoyama is feeling bold today so he text back.

"I feel like there are far nicer ways of asking me to hold your hand darling >;)" He debates on typing in a * to make a star but he just opts for using the star emoji instead.

He see's Bakugo steaming in a few seats in front of him by the other window looking at his phone before Aizawa tells them they have to get off.

This kind of talk earns Aoyama exactly what he wants, Bakugo in his face trying to argue the issue that he was trying to be nice. Or as he says it "Fucking nice." Bakugo is probably just surprised he has the balls to talk to him that way even if it is just over text.

(Idk i guess this hero trip took them to the woods like the training camp but without the training cause i dont know what im doing pretend with me)

"Bet you wouldn't say something smart like that to my face."

"Is that what your into mon chéri?"

Aoyama is smirking, Bakugo is blushing his pupils the size of rice and Aoyama is winning it is so much fun to mess with him.

Bakugo grabs him by his frilly white shirt and pushes him against a tree "You wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid," Bakugo growls his tongue sliding across his lower lip like something's delicious. apparently this is what Bakugo is into and Aoyama keeps being right about this boy and his cues.

"I would appreciate if you weren't rough with me." He dares to place the his hand upon the one's grabbing him. It isn't super rough or even Bakugo grade rough, he's holding back cause he knows where the strength level stands between the two of them.

"I'm quite delicate." He's able to loosen Bakugo's fingers, guide them to be somewhere else so he can maneuver his own hands, he places his thumb to Bakugo's chin slightly tilting his head up eyes locked on that mouth that never stops shouting.

"From here it looks like you who wants to kiss me again, was that your plan this whole time?" Asking for it was out of the question so he had to do all this just to get a kiss from a pretty boy in the forest.

"You are so silly darling, you don't have to do that." He shakes his head slowly. Bakugo is under his spell once again and loving it cause he worked his ass off to get right where he wants to be. "Just ask me," Aoyama presses his lips to Bakugo's in a quick kiss.

"I too do not bite." Another one but this one is a little longer.

"Unless you want me to.." He whispers and it makes Bakugo's ears flush, his hands sweat.

Sadly a ruffle in the forest catches them off guard but they are able to make themselves look alive. It's one of their classmates coming to find them cause they need Bakugo to help cook the food.

Bakugo returns to his regular yelling self getting angry about how these extra's can't do anything by themselves.

It's always so close but not enough Aoyama thinks.

Back at the dorms it's been like a week of forest training + camping out, it wasn't bad but Aoyama was missing his hair dryer and actual running water so he was glad to be home.

He finds himself thinking about Bakugo and how all of this wont last long due to him being the traitor and all. He has to make it last cause once he's done with everything there wont be anymore him and Bakugo spending any time together.

Aoyama falls asleep the moment Bakugo is about to come check on him, he peaks in his room to find him sleeping and closes the door quietly.

"Night sparkles." Bakugo thinks to himself behind the door.

They cook breakfast together tomorrow when everyone is asleep. Aoyama is standing beside Bakugo learning the in's and out's about the way Bakugo handles himself in the kitchen, he's very versatile with everything he cooks and with every utensils like some kind of expert chef.

"My my!" He ask leaning towards the other blond. "May i ask where or how you learned how to cook this way?"

Bakugo smirks because his skills are being acknowledged AKA his ego is being stroked.

"My Dad taught me."

"Oh really? Usually it's the mother who teaches, my mama taught me to cook for myself."

"My hag of a mom didn't teach me shit about cooking."

"Oh," Aoyama's features drop a little. "Did i bring up a sore subject?"

"Forget it, just help me with this."

Aoyama helps Bakugo finish up breakfast for everyone.

Later while cooking dinner together Aoyama cuts his finger and Bakugo yells at him.

"Shit Sparkles!" he hurries a paper towel to the bleeding finger.

"Im sorry."

"Be careful when you stick your hands in water full of plates and crap, there could be other shit in there you don't see like that knife." Holding it to his finger Bakugo yells over his shoulder. "WHOEVER PUT A KNIFE IN THE SINK WATER IM GOING TO K I LL YOU"

Aoyama feels blessed to have someone fuss over something as small as a cut like this. He also feels blessed when Bakugo's kissing back both boys in the angers desk chair. Aoyama is sitting in the chair while Bakugo is sitting turned towards him making quick work of his lips. He's become a better kisser to more they do this he expressed he how he didn't know where teeth even go in a kiss when they were studying together but the conversation took a turn and they had to finish up quckly so they could go to Bakugo's room.

Aoyama held Bakugo close, before the hand that was wrapped around his shoulders pushed against his chest.

"What is wrong darling?"

"I-i've had enough. We're done here." Bakugo sits back a little because he knows he's got him and he wont let him fall- This has been happening a lot lately, Bakugo starts to feel weird so he wants to stop, everytime this happens Aoyama never forces him or ask him why he just lets him go and they hang out a little until Aoyama is kicked out in a polite way.

They have been doing this for a while now, Bakugo has found himself doing things he probably shouldn't thinking about his pretty blond boy. Thinking about how that pretty blond boy would do it instead.

Is it normal to fantasize lewd things like this he wondered laying in his bed limbs stretched out.

Aoyama never gave himself the chance because he never planed on being around along enough to receive that kind of attention. It saddens him when one day Bakugo wants to go further than just kissing. He has to decline and say he's had enough the same way Bakugo does.

This confuses Bakugo but he lets it go because maybe they shouldn't be doing this to began with. This makes him think he's just acting like a horny teen with 0 control over his body. They still kiss they still hang out, they still cook nothing is missing from the relationship except a name.

"I think i asked you this before but are you dating Aoyama?" Kirishima ask Bakugo while he's helping him with his math.

"What about it?" he doesn't have to say yes for shitty hair to understand what the answer is.

"That's awesome!" he congratulates.

Kirishima keeps asking little questions everytime he can, like "Do you guys go on dates?"

"Do you get eachother gifts?"

The one question that sticks out to him the most is when he hears Mina talking to the other girls about something stupid and says. "If a guy didn't say he loved me i wouldn't date him. Who wants to date some they don't really love? At least have the balls to say it, GOD"

It gets him thinking.

Does he love Aoyama? Is this just a crush? will it go away? is it going away for Aoyama? he keeps pushing him away when things get intense like Bakugo used to do is he done using him now? Come to think of it he hasn't seen that glitter stain in a few days where the fuck is he anyway?

THE PLOT THICKENS Aoyama keeps reporting to AFO so he's missing alot

Sorry for taking so long to reply, I wanted to read and react properly!!

I'm going to do the reaction thingy cause I thought it was fun the last time let's go <33

LOVE BKDK BEING EACH OTHER'S FIRST KISS, tbh it just makes sense and I love the lil scenario you came up with, but yeah I will let Aoyama have the first REAL kiss

OH HE WAS EXPECTING MORE, LET'S NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES BAKUGO

GAY AWAKENINGKJDSJKD everybody shut up Bakugo is having his blue neighboord trilogy by troye sivan moment!! I could see Kirishima being it, but it's more like the crush you only realize you had when you look back into your life and realize you were gay since a long time ago

/his pretty boy/ oh I'm not strong enough for this

oh we going fast here, trust Bakugo to figure his shit out in minuteshksdksd it's soooo him to say "I'm liking you so you better fucking like me back too"

does Aoyama even understand what's going onkjdfjkd he's just going along with it! bkg is such a grandpa like okay we will go to sleep at 9pm

"TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT IF THE WATER IS SAFE TO DRINK" DFKJDFJKFDWHATTHEUFKCKKLJKLSD him asking for care without asking

Aoyama finding out Bakugo is into bratting in the funniest way possible

"You wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid," BYEJSDLJSDLKJXLKXFLJXLJXLJDFJKKJDF I've read a line like this in a fic once, but it was from kpop BUT OMG THIS SCENE, THE TENSION, THE BUILT UP IM NOT DOING WELL. HE DOESN'T BITE UNLESS HE WANTS TO FUCKKFKFDKJDFKJ

NOT AN INTERRUPTION OH FFS

Love them cooking together, talking, and protective Bakugo (my favorite ao3 tag)

WAIT WAIT WAIT DON'T DENY IT AOYAMA WHY WOULDNT YOU TAKE THIS CHANCE [but also I get, I really do, I think it would make it too real, would hurt bkg too much when he leaves, I get it but damn]

Oh the overthinking…. my poor Katsuki he doesn't deserve this, please please make them talk and figure things out :((

I really loved this one, lots of developments for both of them but the ending…. real life interfering in their romance bubble and I fear things will crash soon, there's always a fallout before it can be okay again right…

Really need to say this but I love your writing, when I tell you you had me laughing and screaming out loud in my bedroom im being so for real!!!! thank you for sharing your story with me, I'm looking forward to it <3

[unluckyhoneybee]

I need to rant and get this out.

My experience right now on the route to self dx, self discovery and looking for support:

(English is not my first language, maybe there are some terms written wrong or something, I don't plan to offend anyone, I just literally translate a lot of stuff. If it's the case, tell me and I'll correct it)

I think it was around November when I started seeing these tiktoks about adhd. My first thought was to think that it was bullshit and those weren't symptoms, everyone taps their foot when nervous or stims a bit. Right?

Well, it started bugging me a bit when instead of this "cute and quirky" videos, more serious stuff started to shoe up on my time line. It talked about attention and focus issues, about adhd paralysis, sensory issues, executive disfunction, hyperfocus, etc. I related too much to all of this.

I decided to start researching about this. I literally hyperfocused on Adhd. I could only think about it, watch videos, read, follow people, etc. I discovered that no, some of those symptoms I thought were common for everyone were not. I discovered that yes, everyone can tap their foot when they are nervous, but it's something truly common for adhd people. It's a common trait.

Well, I reached the point in which I needed to start talking to someone. My friend as adhd. She is literally my best friend. I wasn't expecting a reaction like this. I told her I believed I had adhd and she said: No you don't, you are really intelligent. You probably have really high IQ. Cool. I felt like shit and tried to explain to her that I had been reading about certain symptoms and that it made sense. She made me list some of them and then told me that it wasn't adhd, it was probably just something else. "I am very sensitive to noises and crouds and going to bars makes me anxious" "You are really introverted" that shit hurt and for a couple of days I felt lost. At that point I was so sure I had adhd and many things had started to make sense.

Then I talked to my sister and she said, it's alright. What do you plan to do now? I don't know. I still don't know. But she stayed with me, she let me rant and understood, she asked questions and listened to me. Also, she had just made a friend who is working on her diagnosis and I'm so thankful because we are always exchanging experiences.

Coming back to my best friend. When the idea that I have sdhd settled back, I realized that it made her insecure. She is really insecure. She is not the best in the class, she had a hard time studying and passing exams. She always said it's the adhd and she truly believes that it makes you stupid or something (no blame to her, her mental health is on the floor and has too many problems to deal with and fix). I get better grades, I know a lot of stuff about nature, animals, etc so for her, if I have adhd and can pass some exams it means that she is a failure and could do better.

Then, after admitting that I have adhd I started talking to my mum and dad because I'm sure it comes from my dad's side of the family and there are many (dad included) that have adhd in there. Okay. My mum has her doubts. Again, I'm intelligent. How am I going to have an attention deficit?

My cousin (5yo) probably has autism. Everyone in the family is worried because he needs to be "fixed". Bullshit. Yeah. But I have felt very misunderstood for my whole life and I'm not going to play that game. I started researching because I read about Audhd and because Im 90% sure that the kid is autistic. I want to be ready if someone brings it up in my family because I know that they won't do it in a good way.

During this austism research, I started doubting. What if? Again the same process. This time I only told my sister. Watching how my best friend reacted and how my family talks about my cousin's "problem" I don't feel ready.

At this point, I'm almost sure I'm autistic. I ve read about masking, about how adhd and austism can hide each other when they come together, late diagnosis, how girls get less diagnosed, more and more symtoms... I've done countless of test for both, autism and adhd, and they all come out as positive.

The thing is I don't feel ready to reach for Profesional help:

I have always known I'm different from the people around me. I wasn't like the other kids, like my friends. I preferred to stay at home than going to the park. I had a room full of Playmobil where I loved to spend time playing, preferably alone because other kids didn't "play well" (they didn't play the way I thought it should be played). This feeling of being different has always been there, it's like feeling misunderstood. It doesn't matter how much you try to explain, they never fully understand.

My dad just thinks it funny. Jajaja, my kid says I have adhd. My mum still doesn't see it. So you have that too? The only person that supports me is my sister.

For ages i have been trying to tell them that I need boundaries, I don't like physical touch, I need a lot of alone time, I have meltdowns and shutdowns and sometimes can't manage my feelings well. Every time I try to stop them they say I'm rude or have the worst moods. Lili is so rude probably the sentence I have been told the most in my whole life.

I've read some stuff about how sometimes an asd dx can close many doors and don't have many benefits for some people.

I don't want to face my family and have to explain but I really want to because of my cousin. I don't want him to grow this confused because now I look back and many things would have been so different if I knew what was going on. I've felt like shit so many times because I couldn't work out stuff and function it like others wanted me to. If I only had an answer...

I fear negative results. If they tell me I don't have any of this disorders, I know I'm gonna break. Plus, I don't have that much money to go from therapist to therapist.

I really fear rejection and people doubting my words. I don't want to have to prove anything to anyone but I know that it can happen.

I'm in a place in which I have settled for this. My personal experience plus what I have learnt, tell me this is true. I have adhd and asd. I'm not in a good place to look for a proper diagnosis yet, so the self dx is the only option. I'm starting to open up and understand many things about myself and how my brain works but still it is so scary to have to tell people. My symptoms are there, they are just masked. But I also fesr that if I start unmasking people will tell me I'm making it up. So stay "hidden" is the only way right now and it's so frustrating and scary. I wanna feel better and I'm slowly working on it. I'm accomodating my whole life to this new view and it feels good. I don't fear noise canceling earplugs now, or staying at home or just moving away if I need alone time. The rest will slowly come as I learn more and more.

If you have reached this, thank you for taking some time. I needed to get all of this out. Another day, I'll talk about my symptoms and traits, I'm still ordering those and trying to see where everything comes from.

[unnecessaryspaceofmine]

Itll take a lot of work but. whatever outcome, Ill still work hard for you.

This is my space for the things I wanna tell you. It may have a daily or multiple post per day type of blog as my love for you is intense.

You're ready to drop everything after my mistake. I don't know what else to tell you, just the truth which I already told you.

I'm rocking back and forth as I still couldnt comprehend the reality. You bent your words before, that's the only last thing I'm clinging on in hopes of you to forgive me and reconsider not to break things off.

You may think that I'll move on from you, stop loving you, stop regretting what I did, but no. I'm not like that.

We found each other. You felt it. You're fully aware of our undeniable connection. It's just a matter of ignoring that fact, forgetting our cherished moments, our quality time, how we make each other happy.

I'm fully aware that you're painting me based on my 1 mistake. It was a huge mistake but I feel like that's my personality now for you and you think I don't value you or your attention wasn't enough. I'm sorry my love but you're wrong. It's not the reality.

I'm also fully aware that after that one bullshit, my whole being is one big one for you that's why you want to end things. I can't do anything about it even if Ill keep telling you that I'm repenting.

I'm in a survival mode but I don't know what else to do to stop you from ending our relationship which is the best that happened to me.

In a perfect world, we'd still be together. We'd work things out. We've surpassed the bumps of our relationship. We'd still be in our arms, I could still feel your warmth, I could still serve you. I could still love you with arm's reach, we'd express our feelings for each other, I'd still get up and buy taho for you. Or if we're in Australia, get you your flat white. That perfect world, we had it. We can still have it. I'm still not closing my door for this possibility.

Ill work on myself. I'll work on my imperfections. I'll continue being faithful if you really want to end us.

I already found the one, and that's you. I'm still hoping that I didn't lose you, but, if I did, then I lost the love of my life.

I'm still hoping you could give me that strand of chance. Just a strand. Im gonna value it and be mindful of how take care of it, for me to take care of you.

I love you, Kat. I'm sorry to say but it's just gonna be you.

I hope I could continue making you happy but if someone loves you even more or takes care of you even more, then you deserve it. I don't wanna witness it but I hope you experience that. I'm still holding on that it's me.

I really fucked up my life.

[flugmunk]

fuck it let me tell yall little story here. so for highschool the place i went to was off the norm for different schools in that there was internships shoved in so that every thursday kids can go out to the Great Big World and. do shit. get job experiance nd ll tht. to get aheaad of the curb. WELL me being an art nerd thinking my life would revolve aroun art stuff so OBViousLY i gotta do an art thing for internships. couldnt find shit for ninth grade so helped round with the cafeteria. free food. 10nth grade i was approched by two kids who haad plans to work on a film at some place and asked if i wanted in. they would do everything else and my role would be just to work on a small little animation segment for the film. i had no plans by then so well. fuck it. i agreed and joined. better than stuck in classrooms. now the thing about me nd animation is that i had. NO prior knowledge. sure i made a few gifs but thats. that is still comparable to nothing. and the animation was JUST ME. storyboard, character design. background. timing. colors. sound. JUST ME. except for the voice. i didnt know shit fuck all. and i only had one school years worth- once a week of that- and 5 hours out of THAT. to do my shit. for free mind you because it was a school based internship program. and while the other two are doing whatever else for the film, they check on me every now and then to see how progress is going along. and im a shy quiet introverted fuckermother back then and im all like "oh im fine im fine immmm fiiiiiiinnnneeee" because i didnt wanna let them down. meanwhile as i stand in their way to block the view of a burning shithouse. things were not fine. only halfway through did the internship place offer me someone WITH animation experience to guide me. guide. not helping. guide. because help would imply that now here is two people to share the work of this animation bullshit. nah that person was just there to be all "and heres what you click if you wanna do this thing in this overpriced program". eventually the thing ends, shit is ready to get wrapped up. final day. i thought i lost everything nd stayed like a couple hours searching through all the files. THANKfully i didnt actually loose the project. now i can just give it to the other two film people. i dint know shit what they were doing for the film the entire time, i was busy with wrangling the stuff of this damn animation. wanna know the best part of all this? i never gotten to watch the final product of the film. i dont even know if my animated segment is even in there. i dont have the file for said animation with me. and frankly i dont care. its over. but thats only the beginning. heres what i did for 11-12th grade for the intern program. under a read more cuz this post is already getting long.

those two years i combined because i ended up stretching the project. this time i managed to find a place all on my own. coincidentally a place that is responsible with some big film festival thing that i never attended. now the thing bout school based internships, is there the students gotta make a project for the benefit of the place. so no it could not just be normal (unpaid) office/grounds work. done with under the mentoring of a person who works at the place. the first few weeks i was just helping sort through mail, thinking of what to do for the project^tm.

motherfucker do yall wanna know what me, the mentor and the teacher that showed up to check up, came up with for the project? guess. thaats right. another goddamn animation. ALLLL ON MY OWN RAWDOGGED. huwehh. this animation was to be of "how to get tickets for attending the film festivals." sounds good enough. surely i could use the experiance ive gained only one year prior right?

listen. my memory was absolute shit. i didnot learn jack shit bout how to make animation. wanna know what my process was like? what i actually did in ordder to create a moving image? open ph*toshop. draw everything. everything. in there. savve everything as a png. put each damn png into whaatever program was to replace flash. slap the sound file atop. resist the urge to toss the equipment out the window. save final file as finished product. THAT is what id did for the internship animation the year prior. i knew that thats the worst way to go about things but its the only way i knew how. for the 11-12th grade thing, i did tht shit again. the revious year was for around 1:30 minutes long i had to do. this time was around 2 minutes. thats extraa more for me to do. alone. unpaid. again. and again it was just me on the animation. the mentor person had other things to be busy with. but this time i felt even more shitty because its already looking like shit and i still didnt want to let anyone down. the end of the year was coming up, things had to wrap up. i knew i wasnt gonna be finished. the school and job people allowed me to take the designated laptop with me to do what i need to do. i spent half way through the summer bullshiting my way through. i finished, sent the people the final file. got on the bus. went to the job place. returned the laptop. and said the final goodbyes to whoever was in the building. after that i also, didnt see what became of the animation. i never bothered checking the website. i dont even know if they even HAVE the file anymore. the mentor person got dropped out of the job halfway through anyway but at least there was a backup mentor so that i could stay around. all this just for a grade. all this just for experience. all this for experiance tht i would then forget and regret. I SHOULD HAVE GONE FOR FUCKING NATURAL ENVIORMENT WORK OR SOMETHING. restoration work or cleaning up or or. ANYTHING. theres surely pleanty of that needed. but alas time machines dont exist.

[tearstoshed4ever]

"Please, love. Calm yourself. Remember your vow....Things will get better in time." Widow said, trying to console her.

iv tried but al its gotten me is this

emily sniffled

getinering to her arm again

she wiped her tears on the hem of her mothers dress

todays is a very hard day for me

id be 19 today

but inseed im stuck at 18 forever

which in itself wouldnt be so bad

but on top of everthing esle i aslo miss my family

mommy

daddy

lydia

but i never see any of them anymore

im fucking sick of being dead

i want to be alive again

surly there must be some way

Jul 1, 2021 11:47 PM

to revrese this mistake

and let me go back home to my family

she turned back to maggot and widow

maggot was hurt and ready to cry at the of her leaving

widow was alos hurt but maily cause emily spoke like she didnt think they were a good enough family

oh maggot dont u start crying again

i just manged to stop

to

and widow dont look at me that way

if i hurt your feelings im sorry

u know i think of u as my family

and that i love both more then anything in the world

but i dont belong here

i belonge upstaires

and i think my vow was a mistake

i know i said i would wait as long as it takes but im tired of waiting

i dont want to be patent anymore

iv tried to be happy here but its not working

please tell me is there even the sightst chance i can live again

if so ill anything

Jul 2, 2021 4:47 AM

Maggot and widow looked at each other, trying to come up with an answer. "There's not a way we know dear, not until a human caused a fuss by raising his cousin from the tomb. But that was ages ago." Widow said sadly. "Elder goodnicht might know. But I doubt he would help," maggot suggested

(whars the raising the dead thing from

emilys black eyes lit up and she smiled for the fisrt time that day

"Oh, what a fantastic idea!

she squealed jumping up

ill go see him right now

maggot u stay here with widow

we dont need a repete of last year

(from what?)

(it was from the bible. Jesus raising Lazarus.)

"Gladly. Just make sure she doesn't go petting all those smelly old crows!" Maggot said back.

emily just rolled her eyes that was excaty why she told him to stay

ill be back later

and with that she left the ally

u know u just set her up for dissappment

widow said

shes gonna end up getting her poor little heart crushed

hey i was just trying to help

maggot protested

i know and thats very kind of u

and your one to talk widow your the one whos always trying to keep her hopes up

Jul 2, 2021 7:09 PM

"well somebody has to! Tge poor girl is devastated!" Widow snapped

why are u pissed at me what the hell did i do now

maggot snapped back

Jul 2, 2021 9:36 PM

"I'm not pissed I'm just...I'm afraid for Emily. I didn't mean to take it out on you, love. You're just so darn candid." Widow said

im scared for her to i thought she was over this bullshit

uptill today she seemed fine

no nightmares

no crying

she was eating and talking to people

she wasnt even crying in her sleep anmore

and id know if she was cause i live in her head now

but now shes right back where she stared from

she hasnt left her room all day

she looks like shit

she hasnt eaten

shes crying again

and now shes hurting herself

and wants to leave

i dont think shed even want us as parents

and i know u feel the same cause i saw the look on your face

Jul 2, 2021 11:35 PM

hi! I'm back😊) "We just have to keep trying, maggot. She's got to accept the reality of it all. We have to help her, even if she doesn't want our help. We can't let her become a lost soul, forever longing for life and trapped between two worlds." Widow said softly. Maggot was right. What Emily said, how she reacted had broken her heart. But she couldn't abandon Emily.

crawling over to the pillow she curled up and began to wepp softly

holy shit i havent seen u cry since the furnel last year

wiggling over to her

Jul 5, 2021 4:27 PM

his own hurt feelings resufecing

(Emily or widow is crying?)

widow

emily already left

(

"I can cry! I have feelings just like anyone else in this family!" Widow so bed

*sobbed

well at least tell me why

your crying

maggot asked hesently storking her head with his tail

he was used to emily crying but not widow

shed always been the strong put though one

Jul 5, 2021 6:46 PM

Smartass as he was

And and as hardass as he tried to act

Deep down he was as emotional and kindhearted as both of his girls were

And knowing the women he loved more then life itself were in pain brought tears to his eyes

Jul 6, 2021 6:01 AM

"oh stop with all that nonsense! You're not failing you're mother. Nobody's pissed at you for leaving. They're all drunk and having a bloody good time. Do they wish you were there, yes? Do they understand why you left, yes? Don't worry about it!" Widow said

and that was enough to finally get though to her

she smiled

your right

im done moping

done crying

and done being depressed

"I'm going to take action! I'll find a husband and finally get out of here!" Emily declared

and u and maggot are coming with me

when i leave

she added

Jun 26, 2021 11:51 PM

She kissed her finger pressed it to widows head then stood up

Come on widow let’s go back to the party and have some fun

Jun 27, 2021 5:48 AM

"As you wish, dearie." Widow smiled. She was happy Emily was trying to move on. Even if she wasn't entirely happy yet, she could be way less sad.

Jun 27, 2021 11:37 AM

and with that they rejoined the party

the end

Jun 27, 2021 4:53 PM

Yay! Are you happy with how it turned out?

yes very

now we gotta do the other prequel

the bday one

Jun 27, 2021 8:27 PM

The birthday one? I've forgotten about that, what was that one about?

its gonna be a follow up to this one

its one year into her death

Oh right, I remember now.

this is where the things hinted at in the last one come in

we start with her alone in her room once again

the ally virabtes with tiny sobs

and sniffls

she sits on the stepsa buring candle in her lap

cold tears streaking down her pale blue cheeks

shes a mess

her beauful blue hair is a scarggly clumpy tangled mess

her mascura caked in the hollows of her eyes

making her look like a very pretty raccon

Jun 28, 2021 12:46 AM

Depressed, the only light she sees is the flame of the candle. She'd never notice how alive fire was. It made her jealous. "I could snuff you out right now, if I wanted." Emily tells it, her fingers coming close to the flame. But the fire is unafraid. It flickers in, as if she doesn't exist

Snilffing she boldly sticks one finger into the dancing flame

She expects to be burned, to feel any type of pain. But there's nothing. It all just feels cold. She's completely numb, everywhere but in the inside

If I touch a burning candle I can no pain

She whimpered

She try’s again with all the fingers of her right hand

Jun 28, 2021 3:55 PM

but just gets the same reselt

scwoling she looks at her left arm

though tearfilled eyes

and and hand

the skin has startd to dry and flake

from always having it sticking out of the ground

the thing her best friends warned her about has happened

"Horrid. Positively horrid." She sighs, looking forlorn. She wants to be sad about it but somehow she knows it's just how it is. There's no use crying over it

shed begain to rot

she drys her eyes with the backs of her hands then picking up the candle pours some hot wax into her open plam

"Nothing. No pain at all" she sighed, not realizing her guardians were approaching

she wanted to get the knife from under her pillow and slash her wrists

still not noticeing them she puts down the candle gets up and goes to her bed

drawing out the knife

to lost inher own mirsty

to notice

she puts the sharp blad to her left wrist and pulls it arcross

black tarlike blood ozzes from the the cut

bringing froth the smell of rot

but once again she feels no pain

if u cut me with a knife its still the same she sniffles and begins to sob again

her tears salting the wound

Jun 28, 2021 6:49 PM

hey what the hell do u think your doing

maggot yells

starling her and making her drope the knife

Jun 28, 2021 9:49 PM

hi

Jun 29, 2021 8:03 PM

so this is what happens if im not in your head all the time

u go and do something stupid like this

malating your pretty skin

and getting blood blood on your dress

sloppy carless stupid little goose

maggot snerred trying to hide how worryed he is

hurt embrassed and deprssed emily flopps sidways on the matresss and weeps into her pillow her bedgallged hair falling over her face

Jun 30, 2021 4:38 AM

(hi, sorry I was gone yesterday. I had a rough day at work and then just went straight to sleep when I got home.) "oh maggot, that's not the way! You're being too rough on the girl!" Widow chides. Quickly she runs over to Emily, creating a web with her spindly legs and putting it on Emily's wound like a bandage. "Rough!? I'm rough! If she wasn't already dead, she would have killed herself! We can't let her harm herself like that or she'll turn to dust before we know it!" Maggot bristled.

the thought of turning to dust made emily cry even harder

Jun 30, 2021 5:03 PM

"Shh! maggot! See what you did!" Widow snaps before turning to comfort Emily. "Don't listen to him Emmy, that won't happen. You'll have to be older than an Egyptian mummy before that happens. You'll never see that far because you're going to find a nice young man before then."

i dont see how now that im fucking rotting emily sobbed sitting up

look at me she wailes thrusting her [ealing arm at them

pealing

the cut had ripped off a chuck of skin eposing the bone under nethg

Jun 30, 2021 7:22 PM

more tears spill down her cheeks

Jul 1, 2021 1:15 AM

and her bottom lip quakes

"oh...oh dear, now don't cry! Uhm...perhaps the fancy ladies have something to cover it up! Perhaps needle and thread can do the trick." Widow suggested

well what about this emily whimpered getering to her stab wound that had now decayed to the point that her ribs showed

"I...I'm afraid it's too late for that, dear. But maybe the other spiders and I can repair the dress so it doesn't show?" Widow proposed. "What's the point! It would only get ruined again!" Emily wailed.

this is the wosrt fucking brithday ever she howled bursting into deep gurtter sobs

guttler

Jul 1, 2021 5:19 PM

chocking on her own tears

Jul 1, 2021 7:23 PM

"Please, love. Calm yourself. Remember your vow....Things will get better in time." Widow said, trying to console her.

iv tried but al its gotten me is this

emily sniffled

getinering to her arm again

she wiped her tears on the hem of her mothers dress

todays is a very hard day for me

id be 19 today

but inseed im stuck at 18 forever

which in itself wouldnt be so bad

but on top of everthing esle i aslo miss my family

mommy

daddy

lydia

but i never see any of them anymore

im fucking sick of being dead

i want to be alive again

surly there must be some way

Jul 1, 2021 11:47 PM

to revrese this mistake

and let me go back home to my family

she turned back to maggot and widow

maggot was hurt and ready to cry at the of her leaving

widow was alos hurt but maily cause emily spoke like she didnt think they were a good enough family

oh maggot dont u start crying again

i just manged to stop

to

and widow dont look at me that way

if i hurt your feelings im sorry

u know i think of u as my family

and that i love both more then anything in the world

but i dont belong here

i belonge upstaires

and i think my vow was a mistake

i know i said i would wait as long as it takes but im tired of waiting

i dont want to be patent anymore

iv tried to be happy here but its not working

please tell me is there even the sightst chance i can live again

if so ill anything

Jul 2, 2021 4:47 AM

Maggot and widow looked at each other, trying to come up with an answer. "There's not a way we know dear, not until a human caused a fuss by raising his cousin from the tomb. But that was ages ago." Widow said sadly. "Elder goodnicht might know. But I doubt he would help," maggot suggested

(whars the raising the dead thing from

emilys black eyes lit up and she smiled for the fisrt time that day

"Oh, what a fantastic idea!

she squealed jumping up

ill go see him right now

maggot u stay here with widow

we dont need a repete of last year

(from what?)

(it was from the bible. Jesus raising Lazarus.)

"Gladly. Just make sure she doesn't go petting all those smelly old crows!" Maggot said back.

(cool

emily just rolled her eyes that was excaty why she told him to stay

ill be back later

and with that she left the ally

u know u just set her up for dissappment

widow said

shes gonna end up getting her poor little heart crushed

hey i was just trying to help

maggot protested

i know and thats very kind of u

and your one to talk widow your the one whos always trying to keep her hopes up

Jul 2, 2021 7:09 PM

"well somebody has to! Tge poor girl is devastated!" Widow snapped

why are u pissed at me what the hell did i do now

maggot snapped back

Jul 2, 2021 9:36 PM

"I'm not pissed I'm just...I'm afraid for Emily. I didn't mean to take it out on you, love. You're just so darn candid." Widow said

im scared for her to i thought she was over this bullshit

uptill today she seemed fine

no nightmares

no crying

she was eating and talking to people

she wasnt even crying in her sleep anmore

and id know if she was cause i live in her head now

but now shes right back where she stared from

she hasnt left her room all day

she looks like shit

she hasnt eaten

shes crying again

and now shes hurting herself

and wants to leave

i dont think shed even want us as parents

and i know u feel the same cause i saw the look on your face

Jul 2, 2021 11:35 PM

hi

Jul 3, 2021 4:07 PM

(sorry gone on family vacation tty on monday!)

ok

Jul 4, 2021 6:35 PM

(hi! I'm back😊) "We just have to keep trying, maggot. She's got to accept the reality of it all. We have to help her, even if she doesn't want our help. We can't let her become a lost soul, forever longing for life and trapped between two worlds." Widow said softly. Maggot was right. What Emily said, how she reacted had broken her heart. But she couldn't abandon Emily.

crawling over to the pillow she curled up and began to wepp softly

holy shit i havent seen u cry since the furnel last year

wiggling over to her

Jul 5, 2021 4:27 PM

his own hurt feelings resufecing

(Emily or widow is crying?)

widow

emily already left

(

"I can cry! I have feelings just like anyone else in this family!" Widow so bed

*sobbed

well at least tell me why

your crying

maggot asked hesently storking her head with his tail

he was used to emily crying but not widow

shed always been the strong put though one

Jul 5, 2021 6:46 PM

Smartass as he was

And and as hardass as he tried to act

Deep down he was as emotional and kindhearted as both of his girls were

And knowing the women he loved more then life itself were in pain brought tears to his eyes

Jul 6, 2021 6:01 AM

hi

Jul 6, 2021 4:40 PM

(hi sorry I had a rough day) "Why do you think, Maggot? I keep trying and trying to keep this family together, but nothing I do is working. Emily is kind, but we're not really her family." Widow sobbed.

maggot was shocked at how much she sounded like him

right now

he wanted to tell her she was wrong but he could

not

so he jusy layed down next to her hugged her tight

and let the tears ran down his cheeks

i guess this means wer not gonna apot her after all are we

he whimperd

Jul 6, 2021 7:31 PM

"No...no maggot. We are. It's just...it's just going to be harder than we thought." Widow sbiffled

*sniffled

he nodded

as she wrapped her eight legs around him

then the two of them just lay there and cried their broken little hearts out