#but objectively it also leads to some hilarious moments

[braveburned]

if ash can have their purely indulgent ballpit au written entirely in their head I can have my gregory can see the ghosts of the eight children who disappeared au

[fanfic-obsessed]

No Memories, Just Vibes

There is a part of the Jedi Apprentice series that has sparked two different ideas, of which this is the first. 

Early in one of the books, before Obi Wan is taken as a padawan, Qui Gon Jinn witnesses a duel between him and another initiate. Qui Gon perceives that these two pre teens (if I remember correctly, Obi Wan is a few weeks away from turning 13 and Bruck Chun was a few months to a year younger) are too angry and tells Obi Wan that he is destined to fall, that training Obi Wan would be a waste of time. 

As traumatizing as this speech is, when we take into account Obi Wan’s entire story it is also, objectively, the single most hilarious thing that Qui Gon Jinn could say to Obi Wan Kenobi. 

From this Two ideas were born. 

IDEA 1

The first is that as soon as Qui Gon tell Obi Wan that he is destined to fall, the Force drops post Death Star Qui Gon into current time Qui Gon’s head. Except there are no memories, just vibes.  So between one moment and the next Qui Gon goes from ‘I will not teach you. Get away from me’ to ‘this is my baby padawan, my little boy! Isn’t he precious?’.

And the Masters watching, particularly those responsible for assigning the Master/Padawan pairs, go ‘we were going to let you take the baby, until just now. Now we need do a psych eval’

And Obi Wan (twelve years old) is a mix of emotions that he is not sure there is a word for.  Ten minutes ago he was hopeful that Qui Gon Jinn would take him as a padawan. Three minutes ago the same master shattered that hope and left him devastated. Now the Master who devastated him is now hugging him and babbling about a padawan braid and how Obi Wan is his son.

Nothing makes sense.

Eventually, after innumerable medical and psychological tests, Qui Gon is allowed to take Obi Wan as a Padawan. At some point, during the evaluations, Qui Gon comes to two ‘realizations’ (based on nothing but vibes). The first is that he decides that Obi Wan must be the chosen one, but Qui Gon cannot tell anyone, believing that Qui Gon would not be allowed to teach him (left over vibes from the High council not letting him take Anakin as a Padawan) and to not put excess pressure on the baby. He also decides that Obi Wan’s goodness (the vibe that Obi Wan is incapable of falling) is just what is needed to bring Xanatos back to the light. 

It should be noted that Qui Gon communicates this plan poorly to Obi Wan, who perceives that Qui Gon took him on to be bait for Qui Gon’s fallen former padawan.  Obi Wan, though lacking in much of the trauma that we associate with him, is fairly fatalistic and just shrugs, thinking ‘well, this might as well happen’.

As soon as Qui Gon is released from medical, he takes himself and his shiny new padawan haring across the galaxy looking for Xanatos.  It takes long enough to find him that Feemor hears about what is going on and, out of concern for the child involved, goes to find them. When he arrives Qui Gon is waving Obi Wan at Xanatos going ‘I got you a baby brother.’

Feemor, somehow both too young and too old for this shit, goes ‘For Kriffs sake, Qui Gon’ and briefly steals Obi Wan. 

At some point Obi Wan and Xanatos bond enough that the next time that Xanatos tells Qui Gon that Xan is going to kill him, Obi Wan pipes up saying that Qui Gon was the only master ho would take him and Obi wan really wants to be a Jedi.

Xanatos now has a new mission, to find a new Master for his little brother, so he can go back to trying to murder Qui Gon. (For handwavy reasons, we’ll call it the repudiation, Feemor is not allowed to take Obi Wan as a Padawan-Xanaots asked). 

So now we have the weirdest chase in history. Qui Gon is vibing and chasing Xanatos. Xantos is leading Qui Gon on a chase and looking for another Jedi Master without getting skewered (because of the darksider thing). Obi Wan is being dragged along with Qui Gon, hoping that he gets to learn something about being a jedi before he is killed? He is not even sure. Feemor is following Qui Gon and Obi Wan, occasionally confiscating Obi Wan, because he is not sure anyone should be exposed to this much Qui Gon over any length of time. 

They are also utterly ignoring both the senate and the Jedi council. Well Feemor and Qui Gon are ignoring the Jedi Council and the Senate. Xanatos, since he is not part of the Jedi Order any longer, is not bound to either.  Obi Wan is actually filling out the required reports to the best of his abilities but the information boils down to ‘We continue to ignore the assigned mission, I am thirteen (having had a birthday in the interim) and cannot change that. Feemor is quite kind when he abducts me.’

You may or may not have guessed but this clusterfuck lands on Galidraan.  Just before the fighting between Jango Fett’s True Mandalorians and Dooku’s Jedi is due to erupt.  Qui Gon wanders through the tense standoff, stops and with no context whatsoever goes ‘Oh, everyone here is being tricked’. With him is thirteen year old Obi Wan, a tiny child.  Xanatos, who beat them to the planet by about an hour strides dramatically as fuck from the other side of the potential battlefield shouting out ‘Qui Gon Jinn, you ass…’ before clocking the Jedi and going ‘Jedi’.

Feemor also lands and exits his ship from yet another direction, already looking like he had a headache, going ‘Qui Gon, what he Kriff’. 

Now the tense standoff between the Madalorians and the Jedi is derailed as everyone involved goes from violent rage to baffled rage. Also everyone recognizes that there is now a kid on the battlefield and no one wants to be the one to fight a tiny child. This does eventually defuse things enough that contacts can be exchanged and everyone gets to realize that the governor is the asshole.

Qui Gon refuses to elaborate (and frankly is unable to elaborate, he has no information only vibes) on the ‘Everyone is being tricked’ thing. Or what he meant when he wandered up to Jango Fett, peered at him, and told him ‘You’re not the right one, but I won’t hold it against you’ (what Qui Gon means, even if he doesn’t realize it, is that Jango is not Cody).  At some point or another during the time that they are figuring this out, everyone in the combined party of Jedi/Darksiders/Mandalorians/Other says ‘For Kriffs sake, Qui Gon’ (This includes two Deathwatch prisoners captured during the campaign).

Throughout this Xanatos keeps trying to corner other Jedi to get them to take on Obi Wan, except he is also not great at communicating his intentions, so it is perceived that he is trying to get rid of Obi Wan so that he can have Qui Gon to himself.  No one is willing to question any further, though most are a little freaked out. 

IDEA 2

The second idea is not quite as detailed. It’s a Read/Watch the series.  Again we start from Qui Gon telling Obi Wan that he is destined to fall. The Force pulls everyone (initiates, knights, Masters, and the Council members) in the area outside of time where they watch the Movies and shows (Starting with TPM and watching in chronological Order: The prequels, The Clone Wars, Kenobi, the OT) with a focus on Obi Wan Kenobi.  

So everyone gets to go ‘Oh, Obi Wan is actually awesome’. Except of course for Obi Wan, who nearly has a breakdown believing that this is proof that he should not be a Jedi knight (somehow convinced that the Purge/Order 66 is actually his own fault). 

So now Obi Wan has a plethora of Masters who want to train him (including Qui Gon, who again believes that Obi Wan must be the Chosen One) , additional trauma of survivor's guilt before the events that he survived, and a shiny new appointment with the mind healers. He also has the admiration of the initiates that had previously bullied him. 

The Jedi council is able to piece together enough information on the Sith to try and change things, with varying results.

[oddeyes588]

A little late to the party but I do have some thoughts about Fantasy High Junior Year now that it's over. First of all, overall? Great season, had lots of laughs... but man, is it just me, or were there a lot of parts in this season that just... were kind of annoying? For me specifically, two big things... and no, I'm not talking about the Rat Grinders. While I'm a little disappointed with how that ended, I'm not too bothered.

Like, idk if this is a hot take or not, because they were arguably the biggest parts of this season... but I found myself especially annoyed and/or disappointed about K2 and Porter.

Like, don't get me wrong, I thought K2 was funny—especially at first—and Porter being the main villain of the season was 100% for the bit and I can respect that... but man, I couldn't help but be disappointed with Porter going full irredeemably evil, as well as just straight-up annoyed by K2's existence (at least in regards to the story. gameplaywise, making a homunculus of their cleric was VERY smart) (oh god if K2 exists in our world now she might come after me. dont forget me).

In regards to Porter... he was for sure an ass, he caused Gorgug a lot of grief with the MCAT, but he also had such a really sweet moment with him when that thing finally got signed?? It was very, like, not a perfect teacher but someone who did have his best interests in mind, paired with a really nice message about how it's alright to get mad. It was an important part of Gorgug's character growth this season! Integral to unlocking his Barbificer subclass!

...and then all of that just gets thrown away because turns out Porter was evil the whole time and this was all just leading up to his big master plan of killing a god and becoming a god of war. He was never offering genuine advice, he never cared about Gorgug or had his best interests in mind, he thought Gorgug's fascination with Artificing was stupid... and now he's dead. The End.

And that just feels... really disappointing, honestly. He was a chill guy, and yeah he had no right to bar Gorgug from pursuing what he wants and force him to take so many years of school in a single year, but it also resulted in some serious growth on Gorgug's part! It was great! Him being Evil The Whole Time felt... almost like a character assassination, honestly.

And then... there's K2...

I'm gonna be real here. I don't care if using a homunculus and shit for multiple divine intervention rolls is how it actually works in the rulebooks, and I know that objectively having more rolls is always better, especially when the stakes are high... and especially considering that Ally was not getting the rolls they needed otherwise.

This was hilarious. It was also supremely annoying, because it just fully took away from any big moment Kristen could've had this season regarding her and Cassandra after her creation... and this happened TWICE.

Like, from a storytelling perspective, I feel Brennan's pain viscerally. These episodes were truly such an experience for me, because on one hand, I was laughing at the sheer comedy of it all... but there was another part of my brain thinking this truly, truly sucked.

Kristen was figuring out her devotion to Cassandra, finding an understanding in what her role as Cassandra's cleric is... and right at the end of the season all of that kind of comes to a halt because in the end K2 did the divine interventions.

...Well, at least that still leaves some room for whatever Kristen will have to deal with in Senior year. Unlike Porter, who is dead and gone and we're definitely not bringing him back.

[moreespressoformydepresso]

What are your honest thoughts on all Descendants boys? From both books and movies?

Oehh that’s a good question! I’ll base most of this off of the movies because I remember them more clearly. Sorry this is so late, I needed some time to sort out my thoughts. Let’s see:

Ben: cutie, golden retriever energy, needs to grow a bit more of a spine but as a recovering doormat I vibe with him.

He’s got a good heart, and he’s definitely going places, but I have no idea who decided a 16-year-old should be king. Hilariously, he’s a better king than his dad because he cares about all of his people, not just the “heroes”. But still, he’s 16, let him have his dumbass teenage years. He’s still in his phase of wanting to please everyone and that isn’t gonna lead to the best decision making. You’re king, Ben, you can overrule your girlfriend’s selfish idiotic plan of closing the barrier. Just tell her “the barrier was opened for you to come through too. If those kids aren’t worth the risk, does that mean you aren’t either? Should we throw you back?!” And she’s change her tune real fast. You gotta give some tough love sometimes.

Jay: cool, I wanna know his gym routine, pretty funny but rash, needs Carlos to temper his brand of crazy (love their bromance).

I love the narrative parallels to the movie Aladdin. Jafar thought himself so far above a street rat and now he’s raised his son to be one so he can continue being a con-man. In the movies, Jay is actually a very accurate representation of your upbringing shaping you into who you are. All Jay knows is stealing, he’s never been taught to pay if he doesn’t have to, so to him stealing’s perfectly fine. It’s normal. It’s a lot more subtle than the whole “who doesn’t like being evil” bit, but the core idea is the same: when all you’ve ever known is one perspective, that’s gonna feel like the objective truth because you’ve never had a chance to try a different one.

Carlos De Vil: Best (movie) Boy, my baby, I love him. What a little nerd (affectionate).

He’s a big part of why I willfully ignore the absolute stupidity that is the third movie’s ending. I’m sorry Mal, wtf is wrong with you??? You set your supposed friend’s abuser free for nothing but some empty platitudes and dare suggest you’ve become an empathetic person?!?! In the books, we get a lot more insight into just how horrible of a mother Cruella is, but even in the movies we see he’s had it bad because of how jumpy and nervous he is. Disney is still Disney so we don’t get much of the healing process, but we see how he calms down and adjusts to a normal life over the course of the movies when he’s out of the bad situation, which is pretty good by Disney standards. Cameron Boyce did an amazing job playing him (R.I.P Cameron) and seeing an abuse victim get comfortable within their own skin and getting the happy ending they deserve is always fun.

Harry Hook: Insane (affectionate), most fashionable drama queen ever, absolutely crazy, more than a few screws loose but in the best way possible, he’s hilarious.

So on the surface, Harry’s pretty simple. A dude who’s lost his marbles and flirts with everyone. He probably has some kind of moral compass, since he didn’t rip Mal’s throat out with his hook when she revealed her little stunt in D3, but it fell overboard at some point and couldn’t be found so nobody knows what it is except Harry himself. Also, he has his sane moments, like during that same confrontation in D3 I mentioned before where he says “And you, King Benny... you're probably gonna throw us all back inside.” It’s the first time I’ve heard him sound… not like Harry. It’s sombre and defeated, a little disappointed maybe? Either way it’s really good acting and it implies he can act completely “normal” but he just chooses not to, which makes me like him even more. He’s just a dude living his best life despite the circumstances he was born into.

Gil: adorable, hilarious, kinda clueless but in a good way.

I love characters that have no idea what’s going on half the time but are absolute sweethearts trying their best. He’s like- the opposite of his dad in every way and I’m living for it!

Gaston Jr and Gaston the third: I don’t have much to say on them, let alone separately, so they get a section together.

Honestly? I don’t remember having an opinion of them. They made Evie happy by wresting, which is cool so they get points for that. Seem like they’re trying to out-gentleman each other to win Evie’s heart and since they’re not being creepy assholes about it they are objectively better than their dad. Very much brawl over brains, the two of them, with their constant wrestling reminding me of Carlos and Jay except they’re both the muscle. Kinda cute sibling relationship, even if it’s in a VK-typical villain-flavored way.

Anthony Tremaine: squeeeee, my type is pretty boys who sigh in annoyance at everything, I guess? We only get scraps but I happily cradle them to my chest.

Uhmmm so Anthony’s personality is mostly up for imagination? The only canon information we have is that he’s most likely Anastasia’s only kid (someone on Tumblr pointed out that, in the scene with the wicked step-daughters, he’s referred to only as their cousin, not their brother) and he’s very bored with his cousins’ antics. Given A Twist In Time the potential drama is endless. Every time Anthony’s mentioned we’re reminded he’s pretty and has good style, and I love that for him. Dude lives on an isle of junk and still looks like a supermodel. Lots of room for my own ideas while still remaining within the realm of “could be canon” with just enough base in there that I’m not just creating an OC, and as a writer and artist that’s all I need tbh.

Hadie: cute, deserves better, I need more of him and Mal bonding

Mal’s half-brother, son of Hades, very cool. I like that he’s trying to turn good and having a hard time, because that’s very realistic for someone who grew up not knowing anything other than evil. Descendants 2 tried to tackle it with Mal, but failed miserably. We know Hades sucks as a parent in descendants (neglect is abuse) so that’s not gonna help him.

Dough: Awww he’s so cute with Evie 🥺

No really that’s it. He’s a nerd that gets the girl, has some very funny moments, but honestly most of his character is centered around Evie? And they’re cute together it’s not a bad thing but there isn’t much to analyze. He’s understandably pissed about someone like Chad getting all the girls while using them, but that’s also only ever seen in relation to Evie.

Chad Charming: what a bitch (derogatory), total coward, I hate him but he’s funny.

So I have no issue with characters who conduct themselves terribly (I love Audrey, (fanon) Anthony, Uma, and many others from many fandoms) if, and that’s a massive IF, they have a good reason for it. And I’ll count “because I can and I want to” as a good reason, because by that point you have someone who’s mean and owns it. I can appreciate the self-awareness and usually those characters are very extra so it’s entertaining. If not that, there needs to be a reason they are the way they are. Audrey has the pressure from her grandmother (and the borderline verbal abuse), Uma has the very real grievance of living in squalor on a run-down island full of the worst of humanity because she was born, what does Chad have? He’s spoiled. A spoiled brat. And he goes from that to an overtly whimpering coward with none of the pretense of superiority in any field. His one saving grace is that he’s a massive joke.

Diego De Vil, Clay Clayton, Gonzo, Jace and Harry Badun, Herkie, Aziz, Jonas, Lefou Deux, Li Shang Jr, everyone else I missed: no opinion, because they’re not relevant enough for the writers to give them a personality.

I have nothing I’m sorry. I barely remember reading their names and I don’t remember anything from the scenes they’re (mentioned) in to get an idea of what to talk about here.

That was… a lot lmao

[faghubby]

Halloween forever

"It would hilarious" Mohammed tried to convince me.

"I don't know" I told him.

"Well we have over a month, think about it. It would be original. You would be my bride" he said.

"Even so I have no idea" I started.

"Sarina will help you." he cut me off. His sister Sarina was gorgeous I loved just being around her Mohammed knew that as well. I let it go as we headed into class.

I had not given it much thought till the weekend when Sarina showed up.

"Paul, I am so excited to help you with your costume" she smiled.

"OH right" I said staring at her ass as she bent over to pick up two bags.

"First you have to learn how to act like a Muslim woman." She teased me.

She took a hijab out of the bag.

"You have to learn to keep your hair covered at all times. Should be easy since you have short hair. She showed me how to wrap it around my head.

"There now knees together. And hands on your lap. That's good. Important to sit and act properly at all times." She explained. She spent the next few hours explaining things.

"You should never disagree with Mohammed especially in public let him lead you" she told me. I was just happy to spend so much time with her. I did everything she asked trying to please her. Over the next few weeks Sarina would and I spent several such days together. She had me dress in traditional Abaya. I had practiced how to move, dance, and stand. It had been weeks.

"I got you a present" Serina smiled handing me a box. I opened it to find woman's underwear. I looked at Serina confused.

"You will look so hot, besides it will help you stay in character" Serina smiled. I melted and nodded.

"Thank you" I told her.

"Welll try it on" she laughed. I wasn't sure but got up and went to change.

"Let me see" Serina called out a moment later opening the bedroom door. I was trying to hook the bra.

"OH you look so cute" she giggled. I grew hard as she looked at me.

"Careful you almost popped out" she told me as she helped me hook the bra. She helped me get dressed the rest of the way.

"You know you should shave your legs" she told me.

"No one will see them" I responded.

"I do" she said running her over my panties. "For me?" She smiled. I nodded. She helped me get fully dressed. Making sure the costume was perfect. That night I did shave my legs hoping Sarina would like it. As I did it looked wierd with hair sticking out of the panties so I trimmed my pubic hair short and shaved my ass. And the little hair I had going to my belly button.

The next day Sarina came to my house. She had me get dressed. She added traditional jewlery. Necklace. And clip on earings. When I was done

"Think you need a trial run" she told me. As she said this Mohammed came in.

"Your date for this evening" she giggled. I did everything Sarina had trained me to. He led me to his car. I was nervous being out in public but went with him. He drove to a big gated house.

"Where?" I started to ask.

"Shh" he said patting my knee. I jumped alittle. As we entered the house.

"Mom, Dad! He called out. They both appeared in the front hall.

"I like you to meet, Paulina" he introduced me as. I did not object instead remembered everything Sarina had taught me. Just then Sarina came in behind us.

"Paulina you made it for family dinner" she said hugging me. Between Mohammed and Sarina almost every question their parents asked me they responded. I sat quietly. Mohammed held my hand that gave me some comfort. But also very odd. After dinner Sarina pulled me aside.

"Let my brother lead you" she whispered "let him make you his"

"Sarina, I" I tried to tell her.

"He wants you, is that so bad?" She asked me. I looked over at him seeing him for the first time I believe. He was handsome, rich and kind and he did love me. Bit I wasn't gay.i thought.

"Let him have you, think how much you enjoyed becoming the perfect bride for him" Sarina told me. But I wanted her. I thought. Just then Mohammed came and took my hand leading me to his car.

"You where lovely tonight" he told me. Kissing me. Surprised I let him. I liked it. He opened my door and helped me in to his car. He drove me to his apartment.

"Come upstairs with me" he asked his hand again touching my knee. I just nodded. He again opened the door for me. And took my hand leading me inside. He sat me down on the couch.

"I am gay, but my parents will never allow that. I adore you." He told me. He removed my Habib his hand cupping my face.

"Be my wife, I will treat you like a queen" he told me. He kissed me again. I melted in his arms. His hand pulled the long dress up his hand caressed my smooth leg. Till he cubbed my hard dick.

"I knew you would like this" he said kissing me again. He stood me up and undressed me. I stood before him in just my satin panties and bra. I helped him undress as well. I reached into his underwear to feel a huge cock. I looked up at him surprised.

"We can go slow" he said trying to put me at ease. His black cock looked even bigger I my white hand somehow I thought as I stroked him.

"Can I?" I asked "I mean would you like me to?" I stumbled to ask. He just nodded with a smile as I lowered my self kneeling before him I kissed his cock.

"I never" I said he just smiled. I tried to suck it but could barely fit the tip in my mouth. So i licked and kissed it all over.

"Sorry I don't know how" I told him.

"Nothing to fret about you will learn" he assured me.

"I don't want to try and um, I mean it's so big" I told him. He helped me to my feet. He pulled me to his lap. He kissed me as his hands pulled my panties off. I felt something cool being applied to my ass. As he worked a finger in my ass. He was slow and gentile. He worked in a second finger. I found myself bouncing up and down on his fingers.

"My little virgin bride to be" he laughed biting my nipple softly.

"Yes, I want to be your wife" I moaned.

"Do you want to try?" He asked pushing his hard cock into my hand. I stood up alittle and let him hold his cock against my hole. As I lowered myself I felt only pressure. Then my asshole gave way and the head of his cock slipped in. Pain shot thru me. I tried to stand up but my legs gave way letting more of his cock slid into my ass. I moaned and cried.

"It's alright Mohammed assured me" he kissed me and dried my tears. I sat very still the pain subsided a bit. I started to move alittle.

Mohammed reached down and rubbed my hard dick. As he did I moved more.

"You like that, my love" he asked I just nodded. The more. i moved up and down the more he rubbed my dick. I soon came all over his fingers.he presented his fingers to my mouth. I just shook my head.he rubbed his cum covered fingers across my lips.

"Open up" he ordered I opened my mouth a little and tasted my own cum as he pushed his fingers inside. We kept going until Mohammed stiffened and filled my ass with cum. Exhausted I fell asleep in his arms. I woke in the morning he was still holding me tight.

"Good Morning" he said kissing my neck. My ass still hurt.

"Mohammed I will be your wife" I told him. He started kissing me his cock grew hard and we made love. After we talked about what he expected of me. To be a traditional Arab wife.

[inappropriatewenning]

Okay, really niche AU time:

It's a production of Guys and Dolls.* Pretty amateur, maybe university level, and it's not good. I cannot stress enough how not good it is. Bear with me. Ignore gender for now, more or less.

Nie Huaisang is the director. Nie Huaisang does almost nothing, but his choice of WWX as Adelaide sets off the whole thing.

WWX auditions on a lark, singing Bushel And A Peck, very over the top, NHS thinks it's HILARIOUS and casts him on the spot over any objections. WWX and his buddy Wen Ning seem to have pretty good rapport, and NHS detects hidden comedy potential in Wen Ning, so there's your Nathan Detroit.

Jiang Cheng doesn't have time for this and isn't really much of an actor and refuses any kind of lead role. But he is in fact a highly competent singer, and ends up as Nicely-Nicely Johnson, carrying the weight in some tricky group pieces. Wen Qing and Jiang Yanli are the other Guys. Jiang Cheng finds that he does have time for this.

Lan Xichen is also a highly competent singer, good romantic lead voice, and is cast as Sky Masterson on the strength of it.

But who is Sarah? LWJ, who has been ignoring the whole thing because musical theater is beneath him and Huaisang is incompetent, finally, angrily, tries out on provocation from Wei Wuxian. Sarah Brown. Prim, uptight. Everyone is a little concerned: can the Lan brothers play opposite each other like this? Lan Wangji flatly points out that it's not like he's actually in love with anyone here, so why would it be harder to act with Xichen than with anyone else?

Now. You are saying to yourself: but inappropriatewenning, most of this casting is terrible. And that's the beauty of it:

Jiang Cheng is surprisingly intense working with Wei Wuxian on bringing real emotion to the (Semi-) Scorned Woman part. No you don’t fucking get it Wei Wuxian, they DO love each other and of course she’s not going to just find someone else! And yes she’s also angry! People can be angry and loving! People can care about each other and still have problems!

Lan Xichen doesn't really bring a lot of...energy? dare I say chemistry?...to the role, but as he works with director's assistant Meng Yao one begins to see glimmers.

Things of course unravel. Wen Ning is too scared, and Wen Qing takes his place after stepping in with Jiang Cheng in rehearsal to show WWX what he means about the emotional shift that makes Sue Me work. Jin Zixuan takes over her initial role. He and Jiang Yanli are engaged by the end of the last show.

Adelaide and Sarah barely interact--until their surprisingly sexy Marry The Man Today. Were the characters supposed to sound like they’re fighting? ……..Were they supposed to, uh, “practice kissing” at the end?

Nie Huaisang is in fact a lousy director. Meng Yao does most of the work and Lan Xichen finds time to help him. There’s an awkward moment when Nie Mingjue (crew) walks in on them and doesn’t quite understand the vibe.

(* actually thematically appropriate because this is the jianghu, this is the otherworld of people living outside of regulated society)

Right okay my bus is almost at my workplace so I gotta leave you all with this.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Spiderwebs Part 748

Okay Toei, I forgot about this one being on y'all and it is a dope addition. Cavendish has cutouts of adoring fans if none are around. He needs them, he has a condition. A condition I find hilarious. This specific moment is where I want to end this series on and thankfully Cabbage gets a little more love as a key lead-in. Remember the idea is early Dressrosa & where it breaks down is the biggest example of what the Straw Hats lack going forward. Cavendish is a great example of who works well as a counter...but he's just too damn annoying to be more than the star of the Grand Fleet. Yes, the fact he has a foil dynamic with an adoring fanboy is certainly relevant when compared to a later renowned beauty with a demon alter ego.

This anime addition is bolstering an interesting scene in Dressrosa, 748 is kind of an internal story that serves as a transition for Luffy & Zoro but also reinforces this overall idea. Like, it comes in later but echoes some of those early ideas. That's what I wanna look at, from the perspective this chapter is where we really see the idea of a Grand Fleet start to form:

You probably remember this gag well. A bunch of the future GF captains badger Luffy about how they're all going to kick the shit out of Doflamingo. But looking back there are some more interesting scenes. The first is this. Because fame is an important context when we talk themes that come up later in Wano. It's telling Luffy doesn't really even get what Cavendish is on about here. Remember this is between Jinbei struggling to get Luffy to understand this concept and Wano showing him get it; you're a famous figure now and that will influence how you got about things. See Lucy in the Colosseum.

Cabbage is a great example of how fame can net you enemies through no fault of your own. But it isn't just him. This segment is interesting because its a lot of future Grand Fleet captains coming together. You could argue this is a key moment where the Fleet forms, and fittingly for my bullshit it's also a big place where you see how rowdy and prone to infighting the group can be. An early example that they don't always listen to Luffy well. Even Zoro tries and fails to craft a sensible plan. That plus what prompts this meeting already is a pretty damn cool coincidence to have 200 chapters before the big reveal for Kiku in Udon.

Luffy and Zoro get tossed down because of losing their shit at Pica's voice. Which is objectively hilarious. But actually stop and think beyond the gag. Losing their composure for a bit had big consequences, the scene pushes that angle. It delayed them and Pica's rampage contributes a lot to Dressrosa's destruction. This is an idea that'll come up in the fight too; Doflamingo tries to taunt Law about Corazon and remarks that he's matured when it doesn't work. Kaido tries another version that does work on Luffy by being silly and flirty in a dire moment.

Part of why I find the trans reveal for Kiku in Udon as interesting. Chopper's one thing but getting bogged down in a big conversation about that right at that moment wouldn't just piss off our beloved Crane Wife and made her (metaphorically) fly away, it could have jeopardized the whole capture of the prison. They needed to act fast to keep the report from getting out. You know, pulling a Doflamingo and giving a fake one.

Where this all comes together for me though isn't the coincidence with a chapter number...it's the title. Ore no Onagaeshi or "I'm Returning the Favor" like what the future captains are shouting as they all come together. Of course, that's interesting in light of the lil bookend we have around Bakura Town. 913's Tsuru no Onageshi and it's folklore allusion that casts a long shadow over Kiku's story followed by 918's Luffytaro Returns the Favor.

Of course, the story of Luffy, Zoro, and a strange new girl making everything in Wano more complicated because they had to save a little girl and dole out vigilante justice. It was still a much more orderly type of chicanery even if Law griped about it. Seriously though, this segment does use a lot of the same concepts and it's cool how it all comes together around someone who impresses Luffy at least would theoretically be good at keeping that group of ruffians in line.

[terrence-silver]

Terry killing (or seriously injuring) someone for Beloved

---

He's been trailing this wimp for almost a year now.

Leaving threatening notes that couldn't be traced back to him, deliberately ominous calls in the middle of the night intended to scare the guy shitless, having his place broken into more than once just to have him piss his pants, disrupting his life bit by bit and getting under his skin and inside of his head, paid off cops that wouldn't speak in order to tie all loose ends together, ensuring he got followed around purely for the sake of making him paranoid and fidgety, getting him fired, making sure finding new employment grew increasingly difficult to find because Terry's people rang every company, firm and establishment in the wider Valley area to ensure a blacklisting takes place and stays in place, influencing things and pulling strings from afar so that his livelihood ended up pushed into a disarray and doing everything in his power to drive him into a state of slowburn, inescapable desperation.

Terry Silver had such a power, sure, yes.

Terry Silver also had more patience than anyone could ever even know.

He could play this game of tactical warfare forever.

A year. Two. Five.

It didn't particularly matter. He took a certain relish in scooping up some schmuck's existence, making it into his own personal punching bag and driving nails into it like a cushion pin doll until the pressure formed visible cracks and the cracks led to deterioration. Walls of a metaphorical house collapsing, bringing down with it a metaphorical roof. Or if he felt keenly playful, perhaps he should have the man's actual walls and the roofs of his actual house collapsing? Maybe have Snake and Dennis plant some dynamite in his backyard like this was Vietnam re-enactment. Now, there was a hilariously tempting thought! But, no. None of this was to be ever traced back to Terry or his associates. This was a project to be done remotely. From a distance. In fact, the man didn't even know him. Never laid eyes on him personally. Never spoke to him. Perhaps he knew of him, because there were few people who didn't know of him this side of the West Coast and further, but there was a certain ironic hilarity that they could meet face to face, shake hands amicably like strangers making their acquaintance for the first time and the man would never know he was looking straight at the person who was the cause of all his troubles this year, none of which were purely accidental or bad luck.

Or that this was all for you. Because of you.

That this was revenge.

Terry knew he wanted this punk's life fully and entirely destroyed from the very moment you came home crying, telling him how someone offended you and imparted harsh words your way. You even went as far as trying to justify them, saying how the man, this stranger he later had tracked down, must've simply had a bad day when he snapped at you. I'll give him a bad life, Terry decided there and then as he held you and trying not to explode with the potent cocktail of rage, determination and desire as you sobbed in his arms, and he did. He really did. He completed or at least was close to completion on the very objective he promised himself he'd lead to finalization; Ten months, two weeks and five days later, the very infrastructure of his pet project's life was wholeheartedly messed the fuck up and Terry didn't even necessarily lift his finger to ever impart any hurt. Nope. All he did was watch. Observe from very, very, very far away. Observe through pictures his detectives sent him. Eavesdropping through bugs set up around the man's house. Watch through cameras, destroying all evidence afterwards. Guy started as an upstanding citizen now on the verge of giving up. Giving up on everything. How little outside influence it took to turn someone's life into a heap of bullshit. The power of suggestion and psychological damage. Terry learned all about it in the war.

Propaganda, it was called.

It was that propaganda that endowed Terry with the copy of the prick's divorce papers delivered to him by Margaret along with his morning tea which he sipped in the tub, observing the ever expanding mosaic of his handiwork. The result of months and months of effort on his part. Now, bearing fruit.

Juicy, fragrant and as ripe as sin.

-"Perfect."- He mutters, leaning back into the water, self-satisfied.

-"Mr. Silver, if I may inquire with a miniscule ounce of prying,"- Ms. Spencer adjusts her thick-rimmed spectacles looking down at him with her usual sense of professional poise and propriety and he already knew the question she'd pose him with before she even had time to properly formulate her sentence and vocalize it back to him. -"How far do you plan on advancing this whole complot?"- How far indeed. As far as he could, he supposed. Murder, perhaps? No, death was too final and liberating. It was too fun to stop now. How could he? Why would he? Man ended up dumped by his wife who took the kids back to her parents place in Nevada.

For fuck's sake, it was better than a prime time soap opera.

The Falcon Crest wishes it could weave plots the way he could.

-"Oh, not that far, Margaret. Lighten up!"-

Terry purses his lips with deliberate cynicism he knew she'd recognize and see through, tossing the document sent to him by the divorce attorney's secretary aside carelessly over the heavy, carved stone tiles once he's done mulling over the contents, a grim Milos immediately there to scoop up the compromising printed file and tuck it into the inside pocket of his black tux without saying a single word. He meets Margaret's speculative gaze head on. He wasn't about to bullshit her or pussyfoot around facts. He knew she could handle it. She's handled worse from him on the daily. -"I just want him alone, penniless, hopeless, broken in every way and begging for mercy with nobody there to give it."-

-"But, sir, with all due respect,"-

She clicks her tongue, about to protest. It was Margaret. It was okay. She was allowed to protest. She's worked long enough for him to where she's earned that special privilege. At the end of the day, Terry still did what he wanted to regardless of being willing to hear her out. -"Do you figure this elaborate reprisal extends far beyond the scope of the dealt damage?"- Now, someone else would get momentarily fired for implying your tears weren't worth all the retaliation in the world, but for Ms. Spencer, he'd let things slide. He knew what she meant and that she wanted to know what his ultimate goal here was. So, did the, as she said, elaborate reprisal extend far the scope of the dealt damage?

-"No."-

Terry's answer is no-nonsense, clipped and curt.

He reaches for the cigar box and his cutter right next to the ashtray from the tub.

-"I think it's a fair price for making someone who belongs to me cry."-

---

Terry deliberately has his chauffeur drive through a downtown shortcut between Huston and Morrison St. on Vineland Avenue that day at a leisurely pace, but not leisurely enough to where it would be obvious to you, huddled next to him on the backseat that the driver was ordered to deliberate, supposing he wanted to see.

Supposing he wanted to witness.

The endgame of his great efforts and investments. The man's property was foreclosed a month ago after he declared bankruptcy and his detectives reported that he was officially homeless, roughing it out on the streets. Right here. Slumming for alms in this very neighborhood. Terry made sure he headed out in the Rolls Royce today, wanting to add insult to injury and once he spots the familiar figure he's seen on snapped photos his people delivered his way, Terry alerts the chauffeur and you fidget, unsure what was happening. You never would. For all you were concerned, he wanted to do show a bit of kindness to someone in need.

-"Pull up here."-

He signals to his man at the steering wheel and the car comes to a halt. Terry feels you stir once his hand grabs the door exit handle and puts on foot down on the precipice where the sidewalk and the edge of the road connect, about the approach the person sitting on the pavement next to a cardboard box. Terry gives you a re-assuring look, exiting the vehicle, closing the door behind himself with a loud thud, knowing he was being watched by you through the tinted window and possibly half of the street block too, there to gawk at the million dollar vintage that just pulled up by the highway. Terry scrutinizes the man seated on the concrete, knees against his chest, a bowl of change beside him, seeming caught somewhere between a state of drunkenness and slumber, not even bothering to register someone was standing above him. What a sight to behold. That was the price one paid. For hurting you. For ruining a single day out of your entire life with harshly imparted words. That kind of shit? It wasn't for free. He made sure it came with a hefty bill, in fact. Terry digs into the inside pocket of his suit, digging out a handful of ten dollar bills he prepared for the occasion right before he heads back to you. Yeah. That would do. Cheap fucking change.

You shoot him a questioning look once he's beside you on the backseat.

-"Gave him enough to last six months. Couldn't just drive by like that."-

He lies, explaining, once the vehicle starts moving forward again and the image of the sleeping homeless guy disappears from view. Luckily, that fucking bowl was deep enough that one couldn't tell if it was full of measly coins or a stack of money. You seem positively shocked, even though you knew he often carried around enough cold hard cash to make Onassis blush so the falsehood pours down smoothly, like a cold Martini on a hot summer day. Your state of being momentarily perplexed fading into a soft sort of awe as you embrace his arm, cooing. He doesn't even try to hide how pleased he is by your clueless admiration and immediate hero worship, smiling at you.

-"Terry. That was really kind of you."-

-"You know me. I always endeavor to help the poor."-

[long-suffering-little-spoon]

I just saw Heathers for the first time!!

This is basically my review / first impressions I guess???? This was my first ever experience with Heathers, besides knowing a) traffic light girls, b) slushies and c) edgy guy has a bomb, I went in completely blind. There will be spoilers ahead btw.

I loved it!! Unfortunately there weren't any programs left so idk any of the cast but I do know that Eleanor Walsh played Veronica and she was absolutely amazing. She was really funny and she was an incredible singer. All of the performers were obviously great, I just felt like as the lead she deserved a special shout-out. Also the guy playing JD (idk who he was, sorry man) did such a good job at being pathetic and creepy. Even before he was evil, I could not STAND him he was an incel 100%.

I don't really have a favourite song or character to talk about yet so I'm just gonna list my thoughts and some stand-out moments.

Whenever people screamed at the beginning of a song I knew sh*t was about to get good

In the intermission my cousin described JD as an earwig and I've never laughed harder. Bullying JD is my new favourite hobby

I feel so bad for Heather McNamara but she is kind of a really bad person

When Heather Duke did her costume change I actually screamed

Kurt and Ram are objectively horrible people but also so f*cking funny

When Heather Chandler said the "well f*ck me gently with a chainsaw" the audience screamed

I was high up at the back so I had little plastic opera glasses. I put down the glasses for Dead Girl Walking because I wanted to be as far away from that whole thing as possible

The choreography for Big Fun looked so fun to dance to

"Too late he got in" gave me actual chills

I cried laughing twice - at Kurt and Ram getting beat up in slow motion and Dead Gay Son. The choreography of the kids on the benches and the reveal of the dads were hilarious

Ms Fleming did the splits while singing and it was really cool

You could've heard a pin drop when Martha stared at the railing

I thought Veronica was actually dead :(

Seventeen at the end made me emotional

Only in Ohio

Uh yeah, it was great! The music slapped, not just the songs but the score too. The choreography and dialogue are both really funny, I thoroughly enjoyed it!!

[bracketsoffear]

I know Turo is doomed, but I do want to advocate for him anyway. HUGE SPOILERS FOR POKEMON SV BELOW (although if you've read Turo's description, you'll already have been spoiled):

In both version of Pokemon Scarlet/Violet, the Professor wanted to use a time machine to bring Paradox Pokemon from another time to the present and create a "paradise" full of them for their family. Since Violet is future-themed, Turo wants to summon Paradox Pokemon from the future, who resemble present-day pokemon but are all unnerving mechanical lifeforms. The Future Pokemon are:

Iron Treads--"This Pokémon closely resembles a scientific weapon that a paranormal magazine claimed was sent to this planet by aliens."

Iron Bundle, a.k.a Delibird's long-overdue revenge--"Plenty of theories about it have been floated. A leading one suggests it is the product of a long-gone civilization—a notion supported by ancient writings that describe the design and usage of machines resembling Iron Bundle."

Iron Hands--"It is said to have fists that move independent of its body and to be capable of throwing large, fast-moving vehicles. A leading theory holds that Iron Hands was once an athlete who became mortally wounded but was kept alive by being made into a cyborg. Why it so strongly resembles Hariyama, however, remains unanswered."

Iron Jugulis--"It was reported to have razed an entire building with a high-energy blast, then flown off as if to find its next objective. Iron Jugulis is theorized to be a sort of machine-Hydreigon hybrid, as it combines the former's ruthlessness with the latter's ferocity." How bad is Hydreigon's ferocity? "There are a slew of stories about villages that were destroyed by Hydreigon. It bites anything that moves."

Iron Moth--"The name Iron Moth was borrowed from that of a flying object described in the era-defining Violet Book. It was said to resemble Volcarona and would descend from the skies, following people around and occasionally even attacking them. Some point to Iron Moth's aggression as a sign that it is, in fact, a UFO of sorts being controlled by alien life. Perhaps something out there is using Iron Moth to observe us, waiting for the moment to mount an invasion…"

Iron Thorns--"It appears to be highly intelligent and clad in metallic armor, causing some to speculate that it may be a Tyranitar as it would appear a billion years from now." This one is actually pretty chill, which is hilarious considering it's the Paradox form of Tyranitar (a.k.a Knockoff Godzilla).

Iron Valiant--"One theory holds that it is in fact a robot—the product of a mad scientist's efforts to create the most powerful psychic Pokémon of all. It's also said to be cruel enough to take its brilliantly shining blade and cut down anyone confronting it without hesitation."

And Miraidon--"It resembles Cyclizar, but it is far more ruthless and powerful. This seems to be the Iron Serpent mentioned in an old book. The Iron Serpent is said to have turned the land to ash with its lightning."

So yeah, needless to say, bringing these Pokemon to the present was a BAD IDEA. Turo was so consumed by his dream of creating a "paradise" for both Paradox and present-day Pokémon (and their own family), that he was blinded, willfully or not, to the danger that they would present if they were introduced into the ecosystem unchecked. This culminated in the original Professor's death when the second Koraidon/Miraidon turned out to be much more aggressive than the first one, leading to him getting killed when they tried to intervene in a fight between the two. Unfortunately for everyone, after his partner left him, Turo's obsession grew and was complimented with paranoia, leading him to create the AI as he determined he could only trust himself--who was forced by his programming to carry on the original's work--and to put the long list of shutdown overrides into the time machine. By the time of the game, the Paradox Pokemon are already spreading outside of Area Zero, and it's only a matter of time before they overrun Paldea and wreak havoc on the present.

In conclusion, Turo's fixation on creating a utopian future ended up threatening the present by putting Paldea at risk of ecological disaster and endangering everyone living in the region by unleashing a bunch of homicidally violent robots from a strange and terrifying future where Pokemon have been warped beyond recognition.

.

[what-if-nct]

hiiii today's reminder is let's indeed talk about Ted Mosby because yes i do know. what a slimy self centred cheating manipulating little worm. how is he the romantic lead we're supposed to root for when he spends the entire series proving that he sees love as lip service and grand gestures rather than actual commitment or consistent effort, all while complaining about how he's a hopeless romantic. like no you're just a dick who uses women as long as they make you feel good about yourself and then moves on with zero lessons learned. even Barney after decades of seeing women as objects steps up when he's in love, but Ted and his supposed respect for women only last as long as it's convenient to him. also he's just so fucking condescending and annoying ugh. the show is so well written and so fun and has great moments throughout but i just can never get into it again because of how much i hate Ted

Hii! Yessss!! And the thing is he could never see when he was wrong ever. Everything he did was complete justified in his eyes. Like how is the womanizer of the group a better partner than you . The technical main character. And the finale. What was the point of all of that? His wife passes, he shares how he met her but it was just him telling his kids about all of his failed relationships (all on his part) that led to it and how much he actually loves Robin so he can be with Robin. Who I wish actually stayed with Barney even with his faults. Marshall though by far one of the best men in general. Like I loved him and Lily so much. Random but I've had a crush on Lily's actress Alyson Hannigan ever since I watched Buffy when I was little. When I discovered Taylor Swift at 12 it opened my eyes to all of the crushes I had on women prior no wonder my first real life boy crush wasn't till I was ten. Before that all I knew was I loved Shawn Hunter . Speaking of male leads who suck. Cory Matthews was absolutely insufferable. Also he looks like an ear of corn. But Shawn and Eric are my babies. Also is it me or Does Jonghyun look like Matthew Lawrence I've thought that for the past ten years but never said it cause I didn't know anyone who would know what I was talking about.

Oh Random but there's a YouTuber named Jake Webber I've been obsessed with I found him like five or six years ago but I just started watching him again and I am in love with him as well as his ex girlfriend Tara. But Jake is somehow emo but has this feral redneck quality that appeals to me for some reason. One he's ridiculous two he understands the joys of Reese's, mint and chocolate. And when he said he likes when energy drinks taste like energy drinks. I said like battery acid and then he said like battery acid I fell in love that's my soulmate. Also I had my monthly monster today and I feel fine I might not sleep tonight though. Tara is hilarious and just as feral but in a way that I personally connect to. Also she's vegetarian. Which I'm officially done with chicken. I'm ready to go full vegetarian. I've been slowly weaning myself and have had months at a time I didn't touch meat but I'm fully ready now.

[nebulouscoffee]

Ok for the series ask game thingy I shall ask you… TNG and Enterprise

Ooh, this should be fun! Thank youuu :D

TNG

Favourite character: ahh this is legitimately hard! I love all the main seven leads so much. Maybe Deanna? I think she's heaps more interesting and complex than she comes across at first glance- I love her difficult relationship to her Human and Betazoid halves, I love her complicated dynamic with her mom, her state of cultural drift, her very nebulous sense of self that she's always just a little too afraid to confront head on, her compassion, her self-awareness, her warmth, and of course her occasional barbs that just never miss

Second favourite character: gosh this is even harder!! I feel like it's either Data or Geordi, but then I remember Worf. I adore Worf... but then there's also Beverly.... Okay, okay, I'm reasonably sure it's Data. I just really love his arc, his multifaceted relationships with the other characters, and the complexity of the questions his existence and chosen life raise. Some of the series' best episodes are centred around him. Not much else to say- I just love the guy! (And I am laughing so hard picturing your face while reading this. Sorry Fancy! Lmao... Unfortunately I am a Data girlie😂)

Least favourite character: uhhh maybe that Okona guy from 'The Outrageous Okona', I haven't actually rewatched that episode in sooo many years and I think he might be why haha (also every single guest character in 'Code of Honour' though that's not so much a case of me hating them as wishing the writers had never come up with them)

The character I'm most like: None of them!! They all joined the space military lmao I would never join the space military!! Also they're all very smart, like top-of-their-fields smart. TNG where is the representation for us mediocre dumbasses. I demand more mediocre dumbasses on the Enterprise! (OKAY if I had to pick, it would probably be Geordi but only when he's goofing off- or Riker when he's rejecting a promotion so that he can remain with his besties)

Favourite pairing: Beverly and her lamp🥰 okay, okay, Troisha from the non-canon ships, Troi/Riker from canon

Least favourite pairing: Deanna/every man she was ever sent to single episode romance hell with, special shoutout to that one dude from 'The Price' for making me watch that looooong as hell foot massage sequence *strained laughter*

Favourite moment: Gonna be a cliche and say that poker scene from the finale. Yup, they actually managed to end the show on... my favourite scene from the whole show. Good job, TNG! (If I'm being honest it's everything from the climax with the three Enterprises working together to Q's line on how exploration is not about conquering or charting territory but discovering new depths of the soul (good stuff👌) and the gang vowing not to let themselves drift apart like they did in that possible future. This is where TNG ended in my heart tbh! Every other appearance is like schrödinger's canon to me; it's canon when I need it to be, and fanfic generally lol

Rating out of 10: Objectively, it's a 7.5/10 from me. Its highs are SO high, but its lows are just so hilariously low- it had a rough start, there's no getting around that, and it's frequently clueless about the inherent imperialism and colonialist undertones of its premise, plus it almost never lets its female characters shine the way they deserve to. However this show also turned my life around so it gets a 100/10 by the power of the blorbolense😌 thank you for existing TNG!

Enterprise

Favourite character: Hoshiiii we love an overworked gifted child prodigy who grew up learning to speak soooo many languages but never had anyone to talk to, only now learning to relax and make friends and figure things out as an adult on the ship of the unhinged

Second favourite character: I mean it's gotta be T'Pol! She is far and away the most interesting character on the show imo, and despite the constant terrible horrible so-bad-it's-funny attempts to objectify her she manages to surpass the material and contain so much depth. She's an alien among humans and a deeply scandalous weirdo and pioneer among her own people, and I love her struggles navigating those two spheres throughout the show <3

Least favourite character: the ever-present air of post-9/11 military propaganda. And if you're going to argue that that's not an actual character on the show, I beg to differ. Straight up had more lines than Travis Mayweather!

The character I'm most like: Maybe Phlox? I'm not much like anyone on this show honestly, but in general he's a chilled out dude just doing his own thing. I feel like that's me right now

Favourite pairing: T'Poshi hell yeah!!! I know the characters barely interact in canon but it really is actually that deep you guys. I love it! For some reason all my favourite ships seem to involve these eager young super smart friendly compassionate officers falling for much older buttoned-up aliens who are obviously culturally isolated, and then connecting in a way that reveals the older alien (who might have a drug problem) is actually a social outcast in their own society whose superiority they won't shut up about and the younger officer actually has a more complicated relationship to their culture than first apparent thanks to an overbearing family, and they are strikingly similar shades of lonely. Hmmm....

Least favourite pairing: I don't think I have one lol! I don't feel strongly enough about any of the canon pairings and fanon ships don't affect me because I don't really engage with that side of Enterprise fandom (not saying this like a snobby thing, I'm sure it's great! I'm just not interested enough in this show that way hehe)

Favourite moment: T'Pol's speech standing up for the crew to the Vulcan High Command stands out in my memory... I'd probably have to rewatch to answer this question properly tbh

Rating out of 10: gonna be generous and overlook the nightmare of its place in history and all the ensuing xenophobia baked into its very premise and give it a solid 6/10. These characters deserved to come into their own, and the show is often good fun!

[somewhereinthepines]

i saw, that you ship john and andrew. and since ya also ship chris and ryan. i have a question. how would have you compared john and chris? both ships are similiar in a way.

oh, wow. didn’t expect someone to go so far into this blog or my ao3 page, to see my john/andrew shippy stuff. i’m so slow with updating stuff for these two, after all. but ah, dang. i feel so seen, haha. 

but regarding the question, while yeah, there are parallels/similarities between the two pairs. i must say, that comparing john & chris feels a bit like comparing an apple to a tomato to me. both are ‘fruits’, but they're very different kinds of one. 

now, *sits back* prepare yourself. this would be a loooong rant. 

so, ah. while john & chris do have some common/shared narrative moments. they’re still have fundamentally different roots. the main difference is that even if we take the gen approach, the reason why chris & john care about ryan & andrew are very opposite. i mean, it’s in chris’s nature to be a caretaker, a father figure. he’s an operator of a summer camp. he has to be a specific sort of person for this job. meanwhile, for john, it’s an exception, that he cares about andrew in this sort of manner, not an universal rule. he’s more of wanna-be-the-lead-party vs ‘dad’ of the group. so when you look at it, chris starts as the caretaker of all, before he sort of upgraded it to ‘some special, extra attention for my fav counselor only’. while john already has this unspoken mindset, that he’s andrew’s caretaker, specifically. he tries to look out for the rest of the group too, but more out of obligation, than anything else. he won’t go out of his way to save & stick with them. when angela gets dragged into the sewer, john grabs andrew’s arm repeatedly, yanking him back, when he tries to jump in and search for her. it’s crystal clear, where his priority lies in that very moment. or even, when someone of the group dies, and john nearly shrugs it off. sometimes for andrew’s sake, even if he was the one, who didn’t ‘saved’ them. it’s disturbingly easy for him to make peace with their death, if he and andrew are safe. he does care about them to a degree, but his main objective is to keep himself & andrew in one piece. chris hackett is less pragmatic in that sense. while ryan is his main priority, he still would have drowned in guilt, if some other counselors died in front/because of him. for john, it’s a ‘sacrifice that can be made if necessary’. chris’s favoritism made ryan ‘the most important’ out of all, while in john’s case, it’s more like, that andrew is ‘the only really important’. 

then, where chris is empathic, john leans toward cold intelligence. and this is where their next difference is pretty apparent. even in how they handle ryan / andrew. chris wants ryan to reach out a bit more, learn responsibility. when john just rather would do everything for andrew, and don’t let him make decisions, that he views as ‘doubtful’. chris wants to help ryan to mature up, mostly for the kid’s own sake. and then, you have john who kind of aggressively babysits andrew at times, haha. he doesn’t needs andrew to be ‘responsible’. he kind of likes, that he’s dependant on him, i imagine. but oddly enough, where chris would insist on things to be done his way, john would back off as soon as andrew would give him a sign, that he’s got it. so hilariously enough, while john is the one, who would tend to andrew, he seems to respect his ability to do smth by himself too. and chris just like ‘no, ryan. you do this how i told you to do it’. maybe, it bc chris is kinda more of ‘old-time’ southern hardass, where john is more of a wimp lol. their personalities, while sharing that neurotic middle aged man angle, still have a bit of different taste to it. their professions also play in it. chris is more down to earth, where john is more of a ‘thinker’. chris bases a lot of his decisions on either experience or emotion. john bases his own on cold intelligence & personal whims. they’re like ice & water here. same essence, but different structure/effect. 

now, more toward shippy stuff. both chris & john seem to view ryan / andrew as a ‘good kid’. someone, who is quiet and mostly harmless. someone, who needs their care/attention, bc of how reversed they are. but it’s where the two pairs also sort of switch places. ryan & john would pretty much slide into denial, if chris & andrew would do smth wrong. they would insist, that it’s not so or was an accident. meanwhile, chris and andrew are both ‘situational murders’. chris established as such by canon (when he turns into a werewolf), and andrew can become one. but it’s interesting to think about the ways and extent john & ryan can respectively go in their denial/desire to protect the other. i’m pretty sure, that they’re both capable of murder. i mean, ryan canonically can attempt to kill a person for chris’s sake. and john, while appearing very anti-weapon/anti-violence, clearly has a mean stick in him. and he’s pragmatic. so if there was a choice to kill someone to save andrew, he would have done it, i feel like. but ah, back to chris & john’s similarities, rather than differences. they both like a blank-faced, low-emotion guy. a sort of person, who is hard to read for others, but way easier to read for them, bc they pay a lot of attention to their companion. and bc ryan & andrew act more natural and laid-back with them. they’re both implied to be kids, who came from households with ‘old mannered’ adults and prob mostly hang out with older people vs being around their peers. it feels more ‘normal’ for them to understand a middle aged dude, than connect with someone of their own age. it’s not weird for them. and chris & john, who implied to be isolated/lonely, would love this positive kind of connection, esp of they can influence someone in a good way. 

and speaking of good influence, both ryan & andrew are this for chris & john too. as both of these men are ‘cursed’ with their own sort of disease. chris is a werewolf, and john is an alcoholic. both self-loathing to a degree. but ryan & andrew being there gives them smth to do. someone to try and be better for. i love how andrew’s presence sort of softens john’s rough edges, and makes him a bit more considerate toward others. if andrew would scold john for being rude to angela, he almost acts like a kicked dog, haha. and chris has to be ‘proper’ and ‘there’ for ryan. he can’t get depressed to the point, where one of his closest people would notice him slipping. in comparison, it’s easier for john to slip up, and even return to drinking. speaking of which, at least fanon wise, i must say, that chris has a will of steel, as he holds himself back around ryan to the point, where it feels like mental self-harm lol. john would give in way faster. chris would do all kinds of inner gymnastics to ‘justify’ whatever he does/feels, but john be like i can’t help myself. and this on itself is kind of a justification for him. sure, he will feel bad for a bit, but it’s less of chris’s endless angst lol. chris desperately wants to do the right thing. but john is pretty aware, that he himself isn’t a good person. therefore doing the right thing not always an option, that he would take. which once again makes sense, bc it’s pragmatic to do ‘bad stuff’ at times vs doing everything by the book. 

and before this answer would get 10 pages long, i must say, that even the ‘creepy’ tendencies between chris & john would differ. chris eventually goes full low-key stalker mode, while still trying to mostly just ‘a friend’. but john can prob go deeper into it, as he doesn’t have the same ‘he looks up to me’ connection with andrew. like andrew respects him, but he doesn’t turn to john for advice usually. like it’s the other way around lmao. so he can be more casual with andrew, and they can connect over books/writing. they have similar interests. chris & ryan connect over their respective hobbies. so it’s a bit of a different sort of experience in both cases. chris has to do more research vs john, who sort of has it easy lol. on the other hand, while they both caretakers, chris has nearly endless access to ryan, while john will have to play it smart and get more time with andrew. frankly, it’s prob not super hard, as i imagine, that andrew would stay after classes to chat with john at times. but when it comes to collecting new info, learning about his routine and habits, well, john can only do so much, before overstepping the line, and using his position as professor to read some personal info on andrew. like both chris & john would abuse their position to gather this new bit of knowledge. but chris ‘needs’ to know this, bc he’s ryan���s mentor. and john would just want to know it, fully realizing, that he’s being weird lol. i feel like john would have an easier time accepting, that he’s not all that normal about andrew. vs chris, who sees it as a bad thing, due to his condition and also bc he’s concerned about how ryan is much younger, than him. chris & john both knew the angle, where their attraction is ‘controversial’. tho they both feel more worried about what such relationships might do to ryan & andrew in a long run, vs how outsiders/sociality would see it. 

in oversimplified form, john/andrew & chris/ryan are the pairs, that sorta stuck in shitty situations. canonical wise, both of their narratives are tragic. but if we look at how chris & john would handle the problem of their younger companion having a crush on them & then dealing with the fact, that it’s mutual, well…chris is so much more modest about it. right until, he kind of not lol. and john already seems to think, that no one would care about andrew better, than him. so in a way, he decides everything inside his head, even before it gets out of hand. though, both ryan & andrew are the ones, who push things forward. chris & john have way too much nuances on their shoulders to be just as bold about their attraction. well, in the beginning. 

i find it funny tho, that supermassive did it twice. sort of connected a shy, 'silent' kid with an older male, and made a huge part of their narrative focus on said man, specifically. 

[crusherthedoctor]

Hi, it's been a while.

Do you have cute fact(s) about Trudy you like to share ?

I really like your character and the design.

I hope you have a good day buddy ^^

Some of these have been mentioned before, while others have not.

One of her hobbies is astrology. You can always count on her to bring out her telescope during the most starry of nights, and get lost in wonder.

Her laugh as a neigh-like aspect to it, which she gets all shy and embarrassed about. On the other hand, when she's annoyed, she'll sometimes let out a horsie snort.

After gaining more experience with adventuring and confronting bad guys (well, bad robots), she starts becoming prone to letting out Bond-esque puns after dealing with them, as a way to calm her nerves after the tense encounter.

The long, hard process of giving the old castle that would become her home a second life was how she learned the skills to make her whip and other non-technological equipment. It also contributed to the growth of her deceptive strength.

Trudy is sometimes mistaken for being older than she actually is, thanks to her voice and demeanour.

Although she's not literally stoic, her mellow temperament can lead to amusing reactions. Whereas other characters would huff or fly into a rage should someone or something irritate them, Trudy tends to simply comment on the offending annoyance with only the mildest change in her tone.

Eggman likes to make fun of her by putting on the shittiest and most stereotypical British accent he can muster. Made doubly hilarious by the fact that Trudy's accent is actually fairly mild.

As a kid, her hair grew out early on, so during the colder seasons, she would often use it as a makeshift scarf. This led to her growing a fondness for them, hence why she wears a bandana in the present… among other reasons for it, like covering her face in the presence of suspicious individuals or unpleasant aromas.

She learned about her EDS early on in her life, and needed some time to come to terms with it. Reading about Sonic, and all his amazing adventures, helped her during this period.

Due to her extensive knowledge of Sonic's adventures, that means she was already aware of his quirks prior to meeting him in person (same goes for his other friends), and she tries to keep them in mind come Stellar. For example, she knows he doesn't like being touched too much, so she tries her best to give him his space, and gets sheepish when she briefly forgets during an intimate moment. Even though Sonic never voiced an objection…

Despite already knowing of his heroics, she enjoys hearing Sonic himself talk about them, because she thinks it's adorable when he gets really into it.

She's a very good swimmer, and has durable swimming stamina despite her stamina being limited in other areas.

She's an extremely dorky dancer. As dorky as you could ever imagine. Complete with little leg kicks.

All of her senses are very optimized, particularly her hearing and sense of smell… which can sometimes be to her own detriment, depending on the situation.

On a related note, she does not like chili dogs at all, and can get mildly nauseous when she's so much as near them. Despite this, she doesn't have an issue with Sonic's love for them, while on Sonic's end, after learning this fact, he makes sure to keep them away from her whenever he's eating them out of respect.

Though she's able to keep calm on the surface, Metal Sonic always gives her a feeling of overwhelming dread. Not just because Metal himself is quite deadly and notorious, but also because from Trudy's point of view, he's a shining representation of what Eggman is at his core, despite being made in the likeness of his arch-nemesis.

She seems to have trouble accepting praise. She doesn't outright dismiss it - she's certainly appreciative - but she tends to politely downplay it and mention that her friend(s) are the ones who really deserve it.

Even beyond her usual attire, her outfits always include longer gloves and high boots because she has a taste for them and feels secure when wearing them… as long as the latter don't have heels, since they hurt her hooves. (The former also has the added bonus of covering up the EDS-related scars on her arms.)

She refuses to judge anyone for their appearance alone, as she believes it's the person's character that matters most of all. This extends even to Eggman; Trudy makes it firmly clear that she does not hold the doctor in contempt because of his obesity (in fact, she openly acknowledges that he is indeed a genius), but rather because of his selfishness and maliciousness.

Sometimes when she's on her side, she'll be in a pose like this, but with her hands crossing together all gracefully.

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2005): Konga Songa

You know what? It’s time to appease Slaanesh.

Time to review something seedy.

...

Kind of...

Sort of...

Not really.

G5: Kama Sutra (Hurr Durr)

Main author(s): Adolf Vojta (Gusta) and Jakub Razák (Method)

Release date: March 9th, 2005 (database upload)

Version played: ???

Required port compatibility: Vanilla

Levels: 32 (standard 30 + 2)

Okay, let’s get this out of the way first. Kama Sutra is not some Rule 34 WAD that will make twelve-year-olds giggle like Japanese schoolgirls every second map (that honor goes to HDoom). It’s actually a spiritual successor to Hell Revealed... which means you might spend days trying to finish it after taking a couple of breaks if you are not some Doom-speedrunning masochists that the authors of this WAD are.

It is also one of the first WADs that not only earned one of the main awards but also one of the bonus ones. In this WAD’s case, it was Mockaward for the funniest WAD of the year.

Did it deserve the reward, though? Like any of these two? Well, let’s find out.

For a vanilla-compatible WAD, Karma Suta looks great. While there are some duds that are basically Hell Revealed-like maps but different, there are maps that might make you drop a jaw on the floor. And just like Suspended in Dusk, some of the better-looking maps have amazing details; not as close to the stuff from the previous WAD but having more soul than there due to the bigger variety of biomes.

The music wasn’t annoying to listen to. In fact, some of the tracks were absolute bangers. This soundtrack includes stuff like a scuffed version of Smooth Criminal, a shit ton of music tracks from Duke Nukem 3D and Rise of the Triad, and even a MIDIfied version of Stairway to Heaven (which is the best track; and it comes from someone who either didn’t listen to the original version or can’t remember when he did that).

When it comes to understanding how the levels play, Karmic Suit isn’t hard. Sure, some of the levels are kind of mangled, and backtracking in some of these is really obnoxious but I don’t think there was anything particularly awful.

Oh, and also, most of the time, you end up levels by going through the same-looking teleporter.

Most of the levels tend to have something that makes them stand out from the others. I’ll try to explain some of these:

The Hidden Engine has an interesting mechanic in that you don’t use the keys you got. The passage that leads to the exit opens up just by grabbing the keys themselves (since the name of the map).

Time Is Tickin' Out makes itself look like time is passing by with each grabbed key; it even gets darker with the last key. It’s like the time was passing differently in the dimension (probably) you grab the keys.

Execution starts out with you on an electric chair, referencing Death Row from Duke Nukem 3D.

Miss Sporty is kind of hilarious since you are basically wrecking demons’ arses on a sports stadium. The concept of Doomguy ruining demons’ day when they all want to have fun kind of makes me chuckle.

Cyber Machine starts out with you trying to run to the nearby teleporter and you have to slowly get there with platforms that slowly go down (you will end up soft-locked if you aren’t fast enough) while defending yourself from Cacos. A funny moment that I wish the middle part of this map was (I’ll get to that later).

The Train Is Approaching is a homage to Alien Vendetta’s Clandestine Complex, down to the similar style and music track used in both maps. It is also a complete migraine maker since even if you know where to go, you will still end up going through the long, mangled paths, even when the next objective is right next to you.

Traps, if you didn’t get it from the title already, has shitty traps that are basically a fuck you kind. Sure these traps are just barrels and not some firing squad of Hoovies but it was still filth to experience. Also, there is another fun moment when you lower the blue key from the hanging cage.

Cow Face, asides from accidentally looking similar to the cow’s head, gives me Plutonia’s Hunted vibes. Not really with Arch-viles in the labyrinth but with the yellow and red keys having their respectful switches on the other side where there are supposed to be.

Stairway to Heaven is like a min-golf course; with almost each section dedicated to one of the weapons of your arsenal. it is also my favorite map of Konga Silly.

And speaking of silly, we have reached a moment that gave Kombat Slaughter Mockaward: MAP30 - <|> AKA Pica as I like to call it.

What’s up with this map, you may ask? Well, you have to choose between kids and adults routes. Choosing adults will send you to the arena... with a naked woman spreading her legs and flashing you with her pussy...

You facepalm. You are filled with cringe.

...that functions as Icon of Sin... and you have to shove rockets up her glory hole... while being bombarded by up to eight siege cows...

...

...

...

You have now officially lost a plot.

You bash your head on your desk.

Okay, look, I get it! Czech people have a different sense of humor, and it was made in 2005, the time that such a thing was much more acceptable and probably hilarious... but seriously?! That’s the reason why this WAD was rewarded as the funniest WAD of the year?! Another shitty Icon of Sin boss with Cyberdemon-made firing squadron that just so happens that looks like Vagineer’s face and has a Cancan dance music... THAT COMES FROM ONE OF THE LEMMINGS GAMES?!?!

You bash your head on your desk several additional times.

You know... I could... I could partially understand Khrono Sumo getting Mockaward due to more levels having funny concepts than just MAP30, like Miss Sporty or Stairway to Heaven to some degree. But the fact that I didn’t see anything funny mentioned asides from Pica in Cacowards 2005, makes me question the Doom community’s sense of humor back in that year, along with how low it was. It’s ridiculous.

And by the way, you wanna know what the kids route is? You simply wait for an exit to lower while dodging up to eight Cyberdemons attacking you. It still reeks of bullshit but I would rather play this than suffer through another Icon of Sin ending.

And no, I ain’t gonna show you the adult route, because 1. I have no pictures of it, 2. Even if I had pictures of it, Tumblr would probably shadowban me for posting it, and 3. I’m not playing this route because I’m not into completely naked bodies, real-file, or fiction. Look at this map somewhere else.

At this point, you should realize that Kurkuma Salad is really hard. I can’t explain exactly the difficulty of this MegaWAD, so I’d like to kind of repeat myself from the beginning of this review: if you are a masochist that beats WADs like that for breakfast every day (and is probably to speedrunning too) then you will be in a viscera-filled heaven. But if you are closer to someone like me who’s not exactly into a few hundred monsters on the screen/area, you will probably finish this WAD once, and not touch it for a very long time, if at all.

Let’s come back for a moment to Cyber Machine. I briefly mention its middle part not being good, and that’s because you are forced to fight in a tight area with four cows while their alcoves open up and close down one at a time; not to mention pressing switches in these alcoves after dealing with them (in a specific order I might add). Playing this map normally is a chore. Playing it while also Pistol-starting is a nightmare since you have to deal with Cyberdemons with nothing but the Super-Shotgun. You might as well jump on a teleporter in the middle of that area (if your source port allows that).

At least I can say that the last area is somewhat fun if you don’t play it on UV.

Then there is Hard Target. A shit-ton of enemies for the sake of a map with a shit-ton of enemies, around half of the map having damaging floors, pop-up Cyberdemons. being surrounded by three of these at the starting area where they will keep bombarding you unless you know where the telefragging teleporters are (at least two of these, third Cyberdemon will die in the mosh pit of demons behind him), the flood of tomatoes and meatballs after dealing with one of the switches that lead to the exit or something like that; these are just a few things that I remember about this hellhole. And the fact that this map ends up sandwiched between Stairway to Heaven and I’m just a DOOM Addict (which is a pretty cool map) doesn’t help.

My advice to you asides from not playing on UV on your first playthrough: Ignore stuff in the center and focus on switch areas.

Asides from a few graphical glitches that I encountered, and some of the music tracks being slowed down (for unknown reasons) and/or not looping properly, there weren’t any bugs around this WAD. There is still stuff written in Doomworld and in the text file though.

Also, even though this WAD is vanilla-compatible, it’s still better to use a limit-removing source port since most of these maps are too big/have too much stuff in them to be saved. Here’s Adolf Vojta’s answer to that problem:

Who use savegames nowadays anyway?

Not you apparently, at least in 2005 when you were a speedrunner, therefore a masochist (probably).

Hindu Book of Monkey Fun is a better Hell Revealed sequel than HRII. At least it looks better than that WAD, and it gave me more fun and had more maps that were more than just shove as many enemies as possible mentality.

Unfortunately, after playing this MegaWAD twice, I think I’m’ experiencing burnout at this point. Not to even mention the personal stuff I have to deal with. So to not make myself completely go apeshit, I’ll take an indefinite hiatus from reviewing.

I know there are some WADs that were spoiler tagged by Dean of Doom, a new official add-on to the Unity port, and then there is My House.WAD that’s getting insanely popular. Need to try all of this before coming back.

I’ll see you all... in June in the best-case scenario.

Bye.

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Wait a sec

Security Breach plot, then entire lead up to it is Roxy bringing these lil animatronics back sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally and slowly gaining pieces to the puzzle of what's going to happen.

On one hand, that's one hell of a fun way to do a plot like that. A big mystery the moment Foxy's bird starts repeating certain phrases that don't belong, a wet floor bot that is terrified of Kid's Cove and Fazerblast, the Cupcake that saw too much, Helpy the test subject... like shit man each one bringing a different piece of the puzzle to the table, some of them knowing all sorts of things about Fazbear history and about the Plex that Roxy and the Minis didn't know about until then. With the added twist of having to keep everyone out of sight and undiscovered? Keeping everything a secret? That could be such a fun plot holy hell

But on the other hand, the mental image of Roxy running around with the most absurd lineup of random animals and objects like it's normal. The shenanigans of keeping them all under wraps and trying to keep them out of trouble, the absolute chaos of most of these having a pet level intelligence (some at smart dog levels and others at corvid level) and the nonsense this ensues. A fucking face off against Vanny with such a mismatched team of animatronics that it reads like the start of a bad joke.

There's a serious plot in there somewhere but it's also a fucking hilarious mental image and I love that so much