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#but please don’t encourage that practice for everyone. these books and the things you learn from them
pasdetrois · 2 years
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logging onto tumblr dot com and seeing conservative talking points
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*Important!!* “What to Expect from This Blog”
Blog Background:
I originally created this blog to share my adoptee-related writing and while I still post my adoptee-related writing here, what I reblog and post has developed over time, so in this post, I hope to clarify what potential viewers can expect from this blog
I am an adult and will occasionally be posting things related to adulthood and adult themes
What I will be posting:
Check out my Tags Masterlist to see a breakdown of my tagging system
As I stated above, this blog was originally created to share my adoptee writings, so you can expect posts that include essays, book reviews, fanfiction, short stories, short screenplays, and poems I have written that will touch upon topics of mental health, family, racial and gender identity, and more and how they relate to adoptee experiences
On this blog, my reblogs and non-adoptee writing posts will relate to culture and adoptee experiences (with culture being defined in the broadest sense and relating to common attitudes, practices, and beliefs among certain groups of people) and these posts will touch on topics such as racism, attitudes towards family, and cultural significance of art
All of my posts and reblogs, unless I have tagged them otherwise as NSFW (not-safe-for-work), will be non-graphic and/or SFW (safe-for-work) besides the occasional swearing
I will occasionally reblog and post things related to current events and politics as a left-leaning person, so if that makes you feel uncomfortable, you are welcome to block me
At the same time, please don't take my occasional reblogs/posts on current events/politics to be representative of everything I am doing or believe regarding a particular issue; of course, I'm not perfect and I have my blindspots, but I have a life outside of Tumblr and if I reblog/post something about a particular topic here, it does not mean that I am ignoring other issues or not doing other things to support particular movements in my life outside of Tumblr
I like talking about my identity, particularly as an adoptee, as such, you can expect some content on that topic; once again, if that makes you uncomfortable, I do not mind if you block me
Notes about NSFW tagging:
On this blog, I will tag posts NSFW if they describe or show sex, violence, gore, severe wounds, nudity, slurs, and pornography in extremely graphic detail
For me, non-graphic means that posts can still mention directly or indirectly any of the above as long as it is not shown/described in extreme detail, so I still encourage you to block me if you feel uncomfortable
Just because I tagged something NSFW does not mean I believe the original post to be bad; I am just protecting potential viewers who may be coming to my blog with histories and backgrounds I have no idea about
If you have questions, concerns, or suggestions regarding how I tag NSFW content, please DM me or send me an ask; I am happy to discuss and listen
What I would appreciate from viewers:
Please do not repost my essays, book reviews, fanfiction, short stories, short screenplays, and poems without permission to other sites or copy and paste them into a separate Tumblr post; you are, of course, welcome and encouraged to reblog, comment on, and like them though if you choose to
If you’re confused about something I wrote, shared, or reblogged, I encourage you to DM me or send me an ask; I am always happy to clarify and listen to concerns made in good faith
This should go without saying, but you don’t have to agree with me; it’s okay to comment on and/or reblog my posts with counter-arguments, ignore a post I wrote/reblogged, or, as stated above, reach out to me for clarification because like everyone else in this world, I’m not perfect and I am always happy to learn from different perspectives
On that note, if you are arguing with me that people of certain races, ethnicities, gender identities, sexual/romantic orientations, religions, etc. don’t deserve to exist, be respected, or fight for their liberation or rights without any intention of listening to and learning from the perspectives of people from marginalized backgrounds, then I will not engage in dialogue with you
Critical thinking is so important to me and I completely believe you do not need a college degree to take a few moments and think through context, emotions, evidence, etc. to make a strong argument and critique others’ (including mine!!)
Another thing that should go without saying is that you are welcome to block me if any of my posts make you uncomfortable; I don’t know your history and background and while I try to be sensitive in what I post and reblog, I know I’ll make mistakes without realizing it, so please do what you have to in order to protect yourself
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sometimesrosy · 2 years
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I’ve been following you since The 100 days and somehow never realized you answer life asks too. I’m sorry for dumping this on you but I saw anon’s ask about falling back in love with life and realized I’m kind of in the same boat. I’m 26 and completely disappointed and I feel like I’m too young to be stressing this much about life when I should be enjoying it. I’m not sure why but lately the idea that I could be an actress popped up in my mind (don’t laugh people!). Since small I have imagined myself giving interviews and walking the red carpet without an exact reason for it but acting always seemed the one that fit the most. I never did anything related to theater but where I grew up it wasn’t even encouraged. Actually I’m not sure we even have a local theater. I had a friend or two who went to acting schools and do a few productions now. If I kind of feel I’m wasting my life away NOW I’d probably feel it even more if I let go of everything and went to acting school without having ever done anything close to it. I don’t live in a country where acting is big. Of course we have our local productions (and now Chris Evans is dating a Portuguese actress!) and I’m scared I would probably just end up disappointing myself even more. I mean, it’s just a whim, I’ve never done anything related so how do I even know I’m good? People around me have no idea either. Should I try and do something about this whim?
YES!
Go for it!
Listen. No one is going to blame you for being stressed out about life. EVERYONE is stressed out about life. It is singularly the most tumultuous time, possibly, in recent history. You can make an argument for it. With all the upheaval. Personal, political, global, environmental. Please don't think you're too young to stress. That is no longer a thing, if it was ever a thing.
If you want to try acting. ABSOLUTELY do it.
I'm not an actor, so not an expert on this, although I have known a LOT of actors in my life. My sister's a hair stylist now but for years she was focused an acting.
We lived in NYC which gave her the opportunity to take acting classes and audition and do showcases and off off off (off) broadway. But even smaller places can have acting classes or community theaters. Start examining what kind of options there are for you to learn and practice with other people.
I'm sure that you get to watch a lot of great acting performances, what with our current access to videos and films. Try choosing your next watch based on the actors. Pick some great actors and study what they are doing, how they draw out emotions. Watch different productions of the same content and see the way the actors play the same role differently. Plays are good for this because it's less about the production.
Also read about acting. There are books that I know are important in the field although I am not sure which ones. You'd probably want to google that one, unless some of my followers have suggestions. Even though acting is something that needs to be done, PERFORMED, there's still a lot of thought that goes into the performance and if you learn how other actors think about their performance it might help you.
What else? Oh. You know this might feel silly or pointless, but a platform like tiktok or instagram or youtube might help you with this. I've seen little acting challenges on instagram reels where a person will take on a little snippet of a scene, reading off of someone else or off of an audio. It's not silly. It's not pointless. It's learning. It's practicing.
Anyway, it's quite possible that YOU know more about acting than I do, because it's something you have thought about while I'm like. Acting? Nah. I mean I was in one play in college and dabbled in playwriting, but it's not for me. I'd rather be behind the scenes. But ABSOLUTELY YES PLEASE GO EXPLORE BEING AN ACTOR. :)
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arvinsescape · 3 years
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Hey could you please write something with reader's ex leaking some private pictures you two took when you were together just because he's jealous of you and tom, so when tom hears about what happened he is so upset that someone could be this low, he's not even jealous, he is just so mad that he could cry
A/N: Thank you for sending this in, I hope you enjoy! 💕
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sex, leaking of nudes (this is never okay, I do not condone this behaviour), talks of bad relationships, mentions of stalking (do not read if you are uncomfortable).
You and Tom had been together for just over a year and a half, it had been amazing, you absolutely adored each other and everyone could see it. There was only one negative in your relationship and that came with your ex.
He was an incredibly jealous human being, awful in every way. You broke things off with him after two years of putting up with his behaviour. You'd not been allowed to have male friends, the relationship you had with the men Tom lived with was strange for you at first, at every turn you expected Tom to get angry about how close you were getting. It never happened, Tom adored the relationship you had with the boys and it was quick to reassure you of that fact when you opened up to him about it.
Unfortunately, although he claimed he wasn't in love with you, he couldn't let you go. He was so jealous when he found out you'd moved on that he started stalking your social medias, leaving comments on your posts which led to you blocking him. Of course, this didn't work, he made new accounts in order to find out what you were doing, leaving nasty comments on posts you made to a point where you simply stopped posting as often.
He was tiring and for a while you worried he'd find you, approach you but he never did. You'd been on edge for a short time after making your relationship with Tom public due to the comments he'd leave on your posts. You wondered whether or not he'd ever get over it, let you go but he seemingly wasn't going to anytime soon. It was tiresome, truly but you'd learned to live with it, you continued to block the accounts he made, Tom personally emailing the social media companies in hopes they could put a stop to him but to no avail.
You travelled with Tom a lot, most of the time unless you had family commitments that kept you homebound. This was due to your job and the way it worked, you never needed to be in an office and you could work from anywhere in the world. Book editing meant you had freedom. It made you feel safe, knowing Tom was never far away and when he was filming you could spend time with one of the boys and it brought a huge comfort to you.
You were back in London, in Tom's shared house after a long stretch in the states, you were happy to be back home, have your home comforts. You had been in and out of sleep for the past hour, your phone buzzing like crazy which had resulted in you turning it off, not ready to face whatever it was so early in the morning. That was all well and good until Tom's phone started half an hour later.
"Tom." You lightly shook him in his sleep and he mumbled incoherently in response. "Tom?" You tried harder.
"Y/N, go back to sleep." He grumbled as he pulled you into his chest as his phone started again. You pushed against his chest and his eyes snapped open.
"Tom your phone." You stated and Tom groaned before rolling over and mindlessly fishing for the device, turning it off as well. "It might be important." You said and he rolled back over to pull you into him.
"I'll deal with it later, it's my week off, it can wait." He mumbled into your neck as he sighed out. It didn't take him long to find sleep again as he held you against his chest, his warmth wrapping around you and making you drift into your own sleep.
You're not sure how long you'd been back asleep before you heard banging on your bedroom door. Tom groaning as he squeezed your body and ignored the knocks, hoping whichever boy it was would go away.
"Tom." Harrison's voice pulled you both from your sleepy state. He sounded worried, not his usual calm and chilled out self as he banged on the door again. "You need to get up." He said frantically.
"Fuck off Harrison, I'm tired." Tom shouted back as you sat up and ran a hand over your face. Tom protesting as you sat against the headboard trying to come to. "Darling, come back." He begged, almost childishly, you were about to respond when Harrison piped up again.
"Tom, mate seriously. Get up, it's important." He tried and Tom groaned again before sitting up next to you. "Right, I'm coming in." Haz shouted before opening your bedroom door, phone in hand and face paler than usual.
"Haz what is so important that we need to get up at," Tom started as he checked his watch. "7:30 in the morning."
"You need to check your phones." He said as he threw his phone in your direction. With furrowed brows you picked it up. "I'm so sorry Y/N/N." He said and Tom was quick to grab his phone, turning it on.
"What do you mean? Haz it's early and I've not woken up yet, what's going on?" Tom asked as you scrolled Haz's phone, quiet as a mouse, face dropping. You flicked though the series of pictures that had made their way to twitter, complete and utter disbelief hitting you.
"Her ex." Harrison said as Tom's phone finished booting up, numerous missed calls from his publicist and twitter notifying him that he was trending. "Y/N/N, are you okay?" Harrison asked as he took in your figure.
"How long have these been up?" You asked, eyes not leaving his phone.
"I don't know they were posted overnight." Harrison sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. Numerous pictures of yourself from a couple of years ago staring back at you. Pictures with your ex in very compromising positions mocking you as you looked at them.
You nodded slowly as you swallowed down your emotions, you lifted a shaky hand to run through your hair. The internet had practically seen you for what you were, seen things that were meant for a significant other. Pictures of yourself you'd sent to your ex before things got bad between the two of you.
"Fucking piece of shit." Tom whispered as he himself saw what Harrison had been talking about. You felt like crying, the lump in your throat felt heavy as you tried to swallow it down, tears blurring your vision as you looked at the pictures.
"Sweetheart," Tom started as he took Harrison's phone from your hand and handed it back to his friend. Harrison took it and quickly made his way from your room, he knew you were seconds away from breaking down and you needed your privacy.
"I thought he'd deleted them." You whispered to more yourself than anyone else. "I sent those at the beginning of our relationship, fucking idiot." You said to yourself and Tom pulled you into him as your tears fell, silently crying.
"You're not an idiot. This is on him, not you. I'm so sorry." Tom said as he held you. "He had no right to do that."
"Is he ever going to leave me alone?" You cried and Tom's heart shattered there and then in his chest. This man had been a tormenter for years, too long and he had been cause for your tears numerous times over your relationship.
"He is. I swear to god this is the last time." Tom promised as he held you tight against him. His phone rang yet again and he huffed out in annoyance as he lifted an arm, reaching for his phone. "Hey, I'll call you back." Tom said into the phone, you didn't hear the response. "No, this is more important, I'll talk to you later." Tom snapped before hanging up the phone and throwing it to one side.
You became a sobbing mess, the world having seen parts of yourself you never wanted them to. You wanted to disappear off the face of earth, how were you supposed to go out in public after this? How were you supposed to face the people you knew? Your mind was racing, thoughts embedding themselves as you thought more about what would happen. You only cried harder as you thought about it.
Tom comforted you through your breakdown, reassuring you that it was going to be okay. He was in complete shock, how could someone do this? He wanted to cry as he held you, his heart was broken for the woman in his arms. He listened as you eventually calmed down, breathing steadying as you pulled away from his chest and wiped your face.
"I'm gonna do something about this, I promise." Tom comforted and he watched as a defeated look spread across your face.
"What does it matter? The world has seen them now." You smiled sadly, realising there was nothing you could do. He'd taken things to a knew level, one you would never hear the end of. "It's my own fault, I never should have sent them." You bit your lip as you tried to hold back more tears.
"No baby, don't do that. Don't blame yourself, it's not your fault." He said as he sat across from you, taking your hands into his own. You couldn't look him in the eye, what if he hated you for this? This was something people could use against him now, what if he was disgusted you ever sent them to him.
"Stop it." Tom said softly, he could see you reeling, see your thoughts consuming you. He always knew, he said you had this look on your face and in your eyes, he knew you like the back of his hand. "Don't, I know what you're thinking and this isn't your fault."
"Look at me," Tom encouraged as he took your chin in his hand and forced your gaze into his own. "I promise this is going to be okay." He comforted and the look in his eyes was so comforting, so safe. No judgement, nothing hiding behind them, he was heart broken for you, you could see that in the tears that were slightly welling in his eyes.
It wasn't that you were against sending pictures to your partner, you and Tom had sent your fair share to each other. But you had learned a valuable lesson, you'd deleted every picture between you and your ex because that was the right thing to do, right? But he hadn't, he'd kept them and it made you uncomfortable as to why? Why would he want to keep those pictures? Why would he release them for the world to see?
"One minute." Tom said as he got off the bed and made his way into the en suite. You heard running water and you knew he was running you a bath, the evidence in the smell of flowers filling the room as he added your favourite bubble bath. He reappeared after a while.
"Come on. I've got some calls to make so you have a bath." He said as he held his hand out for you. Your heart warmed but you sighed as you took his hand and stood up.
"This isn't your mess to clean up Tom, it's mine." You mumbled and Tom shook his head as he tugged you slightly into the bathroom.
"If it affects you, it affects me. I'm gonna do everything I can to protect you. I love you okay? This isn't your fault and I'm gonna put an end to his shit, I've had enough. I'm gonna do something about him." Tom said and you smiled sadly.
"Thank you." You said and Tom smiled as he gestured for you to get into the bath.
"I'll be back in a while. I'm gonna talk to my legal team, see what I can do. You just try and relax and I want you to promise me that you'll stay off social media today." He said and you nodded as he smiled in comfort at you, kissing your forehead as he left the bathroom and made his way downstairs, grabbing his phone and putting some sweats on as he did.
"How is she?" Harrison asked, almost as soon as Tom entered the living room. Tom sighed as he turned to his best friend.
"She's upset. Blames herself for ever sending them." He said and Haz furrowed his brows.
"This is that twats fault. I swear if I ever see him again I'm gonna punch the smug look he always has right off his fucking face." Haz said.
"You'll have to get in line. I could kill him for what he's done." Tom said, he was so upset that you'd been put through this. "I want to fucking cry for her Haz, she's devastated." Tom continued as Tuwaine made his way into the room.
"That man is a fucking dick." He ranted straight away, Harry agreeing as he made his way in. "I can't believe the shit he's pulled." He continued.
"He's was so open about it, posting them onto his personal twitter account." Harry said in disbelief.
"I'm hoping that was his biggest mistake, what I can get him for." Tom said as he scrolled his contacts, pulling up the head of his legal team.
"What's the reaction online?" Haz asked carefully and Tuwaine shook his head.
"Half and half, some people are defending her, some are mocking her, others judging. It's a mess, people wanna know how Tom feels about it, some Y/N. I don't know, I tried not to look too much." Tuwaine sighed and Haz gave a tight nod as he grabbed his phone and vigorously started to type.
Tom left the room as he held the phone to his ear, on the phone with his legal team. Disappearing to talk in private. Harrison finally finished his typing as Tuwiane and Harry's phone pinged, Harrison's tweets coming to their attention.
There are no words for what has happened to my two best friends. What this man has done is disgusting and in no way Y/N's fault, please stop circulating the pictures. They were posted without her consent and she is hurting enough without people mocking her. Leave her alone, leave Tom alone. You will hear from them when they are ready.
Harry and Tuwaine retweeting the tweets before adding their own in support of you. You were close to them all, they were like your brother's.
"Do you think she'll be okay?" Harry asked.
"I don't know. This is just awful, I can't believe this has happened." Tuwaine said and watched as you appeared in the living room, you had your pyjama pants on, one of Tom's hoodies consuming your upper half as you looked sheepishly around the room.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry this has happened." Tuwaine said as he pulled you into his chest, squeezing you in comfort. "It's okay, we're gonna get you through this." He promised and your heart warmed as you hugged him back.
There was a part of you that wondered how much the boys had seen, it made you feel strange around them. What if they'd seen the pictures of your intimate parts?
"I didn't look." Tuwaine said, almost as if he could read your thoughts. "I saw enough to know when to stop scrolling, enough to know what had happened." He reassured as the boys voiced the same.
"Okay, he's gonna do some digging, see how far he can take it. See what he can get him done for." Tom said as he reappeared, you instantly leaving Tuwaine's arms for your boyfriends.
"Is it looking promising? That we can press charges of some sort against him?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, he's just said he'll see if he can take more action. He's already contacted twitter and they're trying to put a stop to the sharing of the pictures. The rest of the sites the same." Tom said as he squeezed you tightly, chin resting on top of your head.
Tom's phone rang again and he pulled it from his pocket, sighing as he watched his publicists name flash across his screen. This was the phone call he was dreading because his PR team didn't give a fuck how you looked, it was all about Tom. This wasn't about him.
"Hello?" Tom said as he answered, he couldn't ignore them forever.
"Tom! Finally!" He heard the shrill screech of her voice and he grimaced as he did. He moved you both to sit on the couch, sitting you on his lap as he cuddled you. "Have you seen the internet?"
"Yeah." Tom said, almost annoyed.
"Y/N needs to put out a statement." She said and Tom huffed, anger building in him.
"Y/N doesn't need to do anything. She will address this if and when she is ready." Tom snapped.
"Tom this will make it look bad for you if neither of you address it. Some people are speculating she's cheated." She replied and your stomach dropped as you overheard her. Tom shifted you onto the couch as he got up, placing a kiss to your lips as he disappeared again. You didn't need to hear any of this.
"I don't give a shit to be honest. She hasn't cheated, these photos where posted without her consent. This isn't about me, this is about her." Tom snapped.
"But Tom, you are Spiderman, your girlfriends nudes have been leaked, pictures of her with another man have leaked." She snapped back and Tom's anger hit breaking point.
"I don't care. I just told you that. I'm not going to force her to do a thing she doesn't want. I don't care that I am Spiderman, what happened to her is wrong and I'm gonna stand by her."
"About that." She said Tom's heart dropped.
"What?"
"We think it might be best if you distanced yourself from her. Make it look like a slight break." His publicist said and Tom's anger hit the roof at the suggestion. His publicist had never been fond of your relationship, they wanted him to date other celebrities, he'd fought them for ages on this front.
"Not happening. This is devastating for her, you really think I'm gonna abandon her? You know what? If anyone thinks negatively about me or her, that's on them because what has happened to her is wrong. How do you think that will look? I can just see the headlines. Tom Holland leaves girlfriend after nudes where leaked without her consent. What sort of a message does that send to people? Did you think about that? Or is this just you taking another opportunity to try and get me seen with someone you approve of?" Tom screamed, the house heard.
"I, I suppose I hadn't thought about that." She stumbled out quietly. Tom pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm himself.
"I don't want to hear anything more about this. I'm going to deal with this my way. This isn't about me, this about her and sticking by her, which I am going to do. Whatever you might say. The fact that you hadn't thought about what I've just said makes clear to me that I can't trust you with this one and maybe I should be looking for someone I can." Tom snapped.
"I'm sorry, I'll leave you be. We'll try and do what we can here." She said and Tom didn't even feel guilty for blowing out on his publicist, the team could be the biggest wankers he'd ever met anyway.
"Tom, you'll get in trouble." You said as he made his way back into the room. He sat down next to you, pulling you into his side as he kissed your head.
"I don't care. This isn't about me, they need to realise that." Tom spoke into your hair. He pulled his phone from his pocket as he typed away, minutes later and everyone's phone had pinged, Tom had posted to Instagram. It was a picture of the two of you, one taken over winter in by the fire.
I'm sure many of you have seen what has happened. I'm devastated someone would do this, these pictures were posted without her consent. This man kept these pictures for over two years and then posted them. I ask that you stop judging and just think for a second how this would make you feel, if it was you in this position. She trusted him enough to send those images and he broke that trust, it's so wrong.
I ask that you stop posting the pictures, they are not yours or mine to post. There is no cheating involved, this man has caused enough distress for Y/N and I will not let it continue. I want you to support her and send love, it's what she deserves. She's my best friend and my lover, I stand by her 100% on this, I will not tolerate any abuse sent her way.
Please understand that she is not ready to address this and if she never is that's okay. She doesn't have to, this isn't her fault and she has nothing to apologise for. I love her and I hope to see your continued support of her, much love Tom x
He switched his phone off as he looked at you, he wanted nothing more than to make this go away for you, he wanted to hide you from the world, keep you safe. He had to swallow his tears again, heart aching from what this man has done to you, he couldn't stop himself pulling you tighter against him as he tried to keep his tears at bay..
"It's gonna be okay, I promise. I love you." He said into your hair as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself to straddle him. You pulled each other impossibly closer and the boys smiled at the interaction, no matter what was going on the world, the two had each other. They had each other's backs and it was heart warming to see, to know they had all the support they would ever need in each other.
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writing-prompt-s · 3 years
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Hey there! First time anon asker, long time follower. I appreciate all the work you do for this blog. Just want to keep the conversation going about the Edison quote you retweeted, on "giving up" versus "knowing when to stop." Though Edison sucks as some comments pointed out, I happen to agree with the quote to an extent. I'm curious to know more about your experience. First, some background for my opinion: I work as a student tutor for fellow college students. One of the biggest things we learn as tutors is how to encourage students NOT to give up when they face a challenge. Lots of people, especially first-gen college students, give up when they're struggling in class because they assume they're "not smart enough" or something along those lines, when research and my personal experience show that that's not true. They are able to change their school habits and seek out help, but only if they already have a mindset where they believe they can do it. Those who don't believe in themselves are less likely to seek help and thus, more likely to fail. Students might also drop out of college or get bad grades because of things outside of their control, like losing their job or other difficulties that make it hard for them to continue at college. This is also an issue because some (not all) colleges have programs to help students during difficult times, but many students don't even try, they just drop out. I have benefitted from some of these programs personally, so even though they can't cure everything, these programs should be considered when a student is struggling. And sometimes, dropping out of college IS the best decision for a person, whether they intend to return later or go a different path. It's just that for many students, they don't have to give up on their education/career goals because of the hardships they're currently trying to work through, but they believe that there's nothing else they can do. The solution may be out there, but they "give up" because they didn't look for it. As a tutor, that's why phrases like "don't give up!" are so important for the people I work with. Not because college is for everyone or that people should sacrifice their well-being for a degree, but because students (again especially first generation college students, students of color, and low income students) have such low confidence in themselves and their ability to learn and grow through obstacles. The Edison quote wasn't about college, but I'm using my experience as a college student and tutor as a more concrete example of why the Edison quote could be useful. College student or not, I think having a "don't give up" attitude can get you through some hard times. So all of this is to preface my question: in your opinion, how can we know the difference between a healthy, "I will do everything I can to meet my goals" situation and an unhealthy, "I will sacrifice everything" situation? Sorry for this lengthy ask btw, if you don't want to respond I completely understand. Just hoping to hear your insight to the topic more. Thanks for this blog and for sharing your thoughts! -S
Hey S!
Read “The Dip” by Seth Godin. It counts about 80 pages but reads like 30. I highly recommend reading it and using the ideas in guiding your students. When you read it, it’s mostly common sense with a bit of oh damn, nice! But sometimes common sense needs to be conceptualized, made concrete, or put into context, and this little book does just that.
The main idea is to know if you should quit or persevere during ‘a dip’ by forecasting the probability of success and take costs/rewards into account.
However, this might not be everyone’s best skill, so some people might need practice or guidance. As Ray Dalio points out in his book ‘Principles’, everyone is wired differently. Just as our bodies come in different shapes and sizes, so do the compositions of our brains. Some people might have weak bones or naturally have lots of muscle mass. Others might regulate emotions well, or are weak at visualizing the future. (By the way, neuroscience tells us we can shape and improve our brains!)
The different compositions of our brains also affects communication between people. Everyone encodes and decodes information differently, and then also gets filtered through one’s own life experiences. So advice such as ‘first seek to understand, then to be understood’ is paramount before encouraging people to ‘not give up.’ If the other person doesn’t feel that you completely understand their situation, saying that actually might work counter-productive!
In my opinion, in most cases 'don’t give up!’ is a good motto for college students. You know what to expect from college. If you do x you will get x. If you stick through the dip (time spend getting good grades), you will get the reward (degree). However, as you point out, some students might face additional stress outside of college, or society might already have put them at a disadvantage. It might just become too much. You helping and encouraging students who are at a disadvantage is incredibly helpful. As humans, we are naturally wired to be interdependent. We cannot do everything by ourselves, nor should we want to. We thrive on meaningful relationships and social connections.
So where is the line between healthy and unhealthy? That’s actually a very tough question. Most people tend to think of life as a journey, always trying to get somewhere, trying to achieve something. It would mean telling people how to live their life and I have no clue. Of course, if in trying to get to your goal your body shows signs of it being unhealthy, stop or take a break. Stress is good, but not to the point where you break down. Self-management is key. Overall I would say it’s healthy if your values align with the process to achieve the goal, the goal, and the consequences of achieving it. But then again, always be realistic. Quitting frees up time, energy and other resources that can be spend on achieving a different, perhaps more rewarding/meaningful/attainable goal.
An attempt at a more concrete answer would be:
It’s impossible to generalize what is healthy and what is unhealthy as everyone has a different idea of what that is and is living their own complex life. Therefore, on a case-by-case basis, people should be taught to take a step back sometimes, contemplate what they are doing, analyse it, be open-minded, seek help from (qualified) people and ask for feedback and advice, and then make up their minds themselves whether what they are doing is healthy or not.
As @zeadtalost said in the comments: “Man’s gotta know his limitations”. But then I would like to add to it that ‘man’ should not be fool enough never to test what they believe to be their limitations. Because what you say is true. Often limitations are in the mind, and overcoming them is what will make people more confident and capable! So please keep doing what you are doing. I doubt you find this a concrete answer, but I am pretty sure the book by Seth Godin will help you lots! Also, by the length of your ask I can tell you are very dedicated and a compassionate tutor, and it’s your caring attitude that will give your students the best chance of succeeding!
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cinnamonest · 3 years
Text
Razor with a fem teacher darling.
Some sweet lil cute lady in Mondstadt that teaches little kids. Older than our boy, maybe 30s, just old enough to be very maternal (and so that she’ll never see it coming of course). Conscripted by the knights to quit her day job and take on the task of teaching the wolf boy how to adapt to human society, how to speak and interact with others. They find that a normal approach overwhelms and confuses him, so they think your way of doing things would be best for someone... on his intellectual and social level.
They let him stay with her several hours a day and practice talking and teaching him things like the most basic words that he may need to know how to read, how to sign his name, basic addition/subtraction etc... He is like a kid in some ways, namely naivete and maturity, so you kinda deal with him as if he was, almost infantile, like giving him little mantras and poems they teach kids on how to remember basic manners/politeness, giving him stickers and other little trinket-y rewards for correct answers, which he cherishes quite a bit.
And he starts coming more and more often, doesn't want to leave, even stays sometimes overnight, and you let him, because you're glad he wants to learn about human life, so you let him sleep on your couch (although he often ends up just curling up on the floor anyway).
He becomes addicted to praise. Since you once taught little kids, you're used to that whole overenthusiasm people give kids, the "wow! Good job! I'm so proud!" And you give that to him too, because you wanna encourage him after all, and you figure he will only understand if you exaggerate the enthusiasm. He gets hooked on that and is constantly trying to earn your praise and approval, will do things and show them to you as he sits there expectantly, waiting for you to say he did good. Dips his head down expectantly, since you normally pet him on the head. Beaming smile and bright, wide eyes.
As such, the way you view him becomes... soft. Dangerously so, not that you’re aware of that aspect of it yet, but in your mind, he’s like a sweet kid, even ironically a bit puppy-like. He’s so sweet, you tell the knights when giving a report on your progress. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.
And then he gets more... comfortable. As all people do in all kinds of relationships, they become less guarded, less careful, less afraid to be open and honest and allow their true self to come out.
You’re forced to become aware of the ways in which he is very much not a kid. Namely physically. One time you told him you had to go for the night and you'd see him tomorrow, but he kept saying you couldn't go yet, he just wants five more minutes! But you sigh and say no, you really have to go, and he huffs and pouts and grabs you by the arm and pins you down. Not yet. Just a few more minutes, he says. You genuinely fear for a moment that he’s about to unintentionally snap your arm, he grips so tightly. You pull, but he doesn’t even budge, you’re not certain that he even processes that you’re struggling, even though you use your full strength. You give a forced, scared smile and ask, hey, remember what we learned about selfishness? And how it's bad? How we can’t force other people do what we want? He hangs his head and says sorry, but seems sad about letting you go. The bruise he leaves lasts over a week. From that point forward, you’re acutely aware of the physical strength he possesses. But still, he didn’t mean to hurt you, he just didn’t understand, you think. He’s still so sweet. He just needs some time.
He likes your attention. That is, he likes to have it. He does not like your attention being given to other things and people. It took you a while to figure out why people would always look so uncomfortable and leave mid-conversation when he was in the room, you couldn’t see how he glared and scowled at people while standing behind you. Once you realize it, you don’t get mad, because it’s not his fault, right? You tell yourself to be patient, just like with the kids. You just have to explain that it’s important to be nice to people. Treat others the way you want to be treated, you say. And how would he want to be treated? Nicely, right? So be nice in the future, ok? He nods, but you get the sense it didn’t really sink in.
And for one thing, you learn he’s, well, appropriately curious about human... love. Relationships. Sex. Very, very curious, and very eager to ask questions. He actually understands and is familiar with quite a bit, you discover (he’s probably witnessed more sex than you have, really), he just doesn’t really know the words, and substitutes as best as he can before you teach him the right words for his... unique terminology, which he uses when describing the things he would like to learn the words for: The thing humans do where they hit each other with their mouths. When the girl-wolf is growing a baby inside and her stomach gets big. The thing mates do together. The white stuff the boy-wolves make, that comes out of their... thing, whatever the word is, tell him that word too, please. Not just wolves, he makes that white stuff too, he clarifies, because he has one of those things, just in case you didn’t know. You... handle it as maturely as you can. You tell him that yes, you’re aware he does, in fact, have one.
But you figure that curiosity is appropriate, he’s a sexually functioning adult, of course he’s curious. He’s fascinated by the female anatomy diagram in the textbook you manage to find in the library, looks at it quite a bit, and, despite your embarrassment, you figure you have a responsibility to make sure he understands. It’s not like it’s wrong, just awkward, so you willingly read the text when asked. Combined with the previous conversation, you soon realize a lesson in... appropriateness is probably needed. That is, since he’s started asking if you have those things too. Does it really look like that? Do those things really have milk in them? Can he feel them? The part of the book that shows the humans mating, why do they do it like that, facing each other? Do they ever do it the way wolves do? Have you done it before? You... have to tell him that he can’t go around asking other people questions like that. It’s not appropriate, you explain, and your job is to help him understand what is and isn’t appropriate. He doesn’t seem to grasp why he can’t ask things like that, seems hurt, like he thinks you just don’t want to, so you have to explain that it’s just... a human social thing.
You soon realize maybe you didn’t explain it well enough. When he keeps staring at your chest, you have to remind him it’s rude. And we don’t want to be rude, right? But he keeps asking why? Why is it bad? He doesn’t understand. When he has a very obvious raging hard-on and just sits there letting it visibly poke at the fabric, you awkwardly chime in that he might want to, uh, cover that up. But he tilts his head because he doesn’t understand why.
It’s only the beginning of such appropriateness conversations. Once when you’re working on something, he wants to show you the work he did, he practiced writing some of those important words. But you tell him to hang on just a minute, I’m working on something important. He doesn’t like that, so he shoves your work off the desk and sends it crashing to the floor. There, now you don’t have to look at all that stuff and can focus on him instead, see? Isn’t his writing good? Aren’t you going to say he did good? He doesn’t understand why you seem upset, but you, having developed an incredible patience in years of working with kids, keep your cool and explain why that’s not nice and why we have to learn to be patient, ok? But you reassure him it is good, put the cute sticker on his paper, and that’s all that matters, he seems happy. You feel like he didn’t hear the important part.
In fact, you were so impressed by the progress in his speaking and intellectual skills that you were a bit blinded to the fact that he’s showing a... concerning lack of understanding some of the more practical social lessons you’ve been teaching.
You swear you’ve said a hundred times now that you can’t just pick up things you want and take them, but he keeps doing it. You had to apologize profusely more times than you can count so the knights didn’t arrest him for theft, but you feel like they’re starting to get tired of the he doesn’t understand excuse.
And you’ve talked about being nice before, you swear, you’ve read several children’s books on the importance of niceness over and over, complete with pictures, and he seemed to like them. And he is sweet, precious even. ...To you. He just needs to work on applying those skills to everyone else, you always tell the superiors. To stop... scowling at people. To stop clinging to you, shyly hiding behind you like a child to their mother whenever someone new comes along. To stop ignoring when other people are trying to talk to him, and to stop interrupting other people who are talking to you when he decides that he wants you to be done with your current conversation and focus on him instead.
And most importantly, you tell them you need to work with him on the little... selfishness problem he seems to have. Stubbornness, rather.  He does not like the word no. He huffs and pouts like a kid, getting sad and sulky. Nor does he react well to being denied anything, and especially not being reprimanded in any way. He sulks quite a bit whenever you get frustrated at him. And he doesn’t exactly... listen. Sometimes he’ll heed your “no,” and sometimes he... does what he wants anyway. You almost get the sense that he thinks that listening to you is optional. As sweet as he is, you become increasingly aware that he very much likes it when things go his way, and can become rather pouty when he can’t get his way. 
It makes sense, you reason with yourself. Do what is necessary to obtain what you want. If you can’t get what you want, use force. Those are the laws of the wild, of survival in the animal world, are they not? He’s just... adjusting. He’s not used to such complex social constructs. Give him time.
He has to learn things can’t always go his way, especially since soon, you’ll have to return to your normal job, and he’ll be left to his own devices. They ruled that he’s improved enough that you’re no longer needed.
You do worry about that a bit. You worry how he’ll manage, and fear he’ll just go back to being a recluse in the woods, since the one thing he didn’t ever make much improvement on was forming bonds and socializing... well, with anyone besides you. You always tried to make him feel like he had a place he was loved and appreciated -- the same you do with the kids.
You always sensed a sort of lonesomeness in the boy. At one point you began to more carefully curate the books you would find to read aloud to him, being sure to leave the ones that featured families in the “don’t read” pile. He would get a sad look on his face and stare wistfully at pages whenever the story contained a mother or a family in any way. Sometimes you would find him flipping through old books at the pictures, looking out the window at children roaming the streets with their parents, and you couldn’t help but wonder how often he thought about what he could have had, if at all, and you wonder if he ever wished he could have had normalcy. You try to be something of a mother figure he never had -- loving, supportive. It’s the least you can do, right? You’ve done plenty of things that you sensed could backfire, but certainly that kindness would not come to be something you’d regret.
And you expected him to react badly to the news that your time together would be ending, but not this badly. You reassure him it’s ok, you’ll visit him all the time! He can come visit you when school isn’t in session! He still seems upset, even tearful. Why can’t you stay with him?
You choose your words carefully. He tends to hear what he wants to hear, rather than what you actually say, so you try your best to be clear. So there’s no confusion... so that he can’t twist your words.
It’s not your decision to make, it’s the board’s.
It’s their fault. They’re keeping her away.
He can visit you any time you’re not busy.
(y/n) will be too busy to play. Too busy with other people.
But you have to go to work, it’s your primary responsibility.
They’re more important than her than me.
He eventually gets quiet, sulks as he does. You sigh and hope he’ll be able to accept it.
... You get the strangest feeling of... premonition as you wrap up for the day. Like something bad is going to happen. You turn to him and remind him that... remember, doing bad things will get you in trouble, right? Hurting people and stuff like that... is illegal in Mondstadt, remember?
He actually becomes very alert at those words, like he’s having a realization. That’s good, you think, he gets it.
The realization was actually the... implication of the words “in Mondstadt.” It’s illegal and wrong... in Mondstadt. He’s not the brightest person in the world, but that gives him an idea. In his mind, Mondstadt isn't the whole region, it's just the city. So outside of the city... If he gets you outside of the city, then, it'll be ok to do anything he wants right? Yes, that makes a lot of sense to him.
So as your days together draw to a close, he asks for one more thing. He visited you so much. Can you come visit him, just once? He wants to show you his home. It'll be fun, you think, you'd genuinely like that. So you smile and agree. You have no reason not to.
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anonymousfiction211 · 3 years
Text
Handcuffed together chapter 6: First training
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‘Morning, darling’ Loki replied when he saw you entering the training room. ‘Morning’ you grumbled back. You were still mad at him, especially since he didn’t even try to apologize like Thor said he would. ‘I must admit that I never inquired about your abilities. Could you please explain to me what you are able to do?’ he asked.
‘I can heal certain wounds and cuts, given they’re not to deep and there is not too much damage to any important veins or organs. And I can conjure up certain shields, heatshields, frost shields and physical shields. But that you knew already.’ you explained to him.
‘If you can conjure up shields, why are you never in the middle of the battle?’ he asked.
‘The team prefers to keep the healing abilities away from the battle’ you said.
‘Not after I’m done with you’ he smiled. You ignored it. ‘I thought we start simple and heal bones first’ he went on. He explained that healing bones was the easiest thing to do, because you just have to rearrange fragments or mend bones back together. He made you repeat the spell over and over again, before he finally summoned broken animal bones for you to practice. To say it gone extremely slow and frustrating would be an understatement. ‘Darling, you’re thinking too much. Trust your instincts’ Loki tried to encourage you. It took you the whole morning, but eventually you were able to mend three of the ten bones. Sweat was trickling down your forehead and you felt exhausted. ‘I think that’s quite enough for today’ Loki said when he saw how tired you were.
‘No, I can keep going’ you argued. Loki made all the bones disappear with one hand gesture. ‘No. You cannot’ he said sternly. You sighed heavily and got up. There were tiny black spots when you moved, but you tried to ignore them and keep your balance. Loki rushed to your side but you pushed him away. ‘Everyone learns in his own space. You know what to do, and it will get easier with practice. And practice takes time’ he said.
‘That’s not what you said yesterday’ you snapped.
‘About that.. (Y/N), I wanted..’ he started, but you cut him off.
‘I don’t want the here it. I’m going for lunch and then visit Steve. I don’t want to see YOU for the rest of the day’ you said while walking away. You walked to the kitchen and rummaged through the fridge. Eventually deciding to make an egg-salad sandwich. When you walked towards the table you were rather annoyed to see Loki there. ‘What are you doing here?’ you said while glaring at him. He was nonchalant reading a book with his feet on one of the other chairs. ‘I’m not leaving you before we talk’ he said.
‘I don’t want to hear it’ you replied.
‘I think you do. But I’m patient. I won’t leave until you do want to hear it’ he answered with a smirk on his face. Annoying bastard you thought. ‘I heard that’ he replied without looking up at you. You groaned in annoyance. You ate your sandwich in silence. After that you cleared your plate and walked towards the medbay to check up on Steve. Loki was following you, but you did your best to ignore his presence. When you entered you saw Steve still laying unconscious, hooked up to several machines. You stopped in your tracks. This was harder than you thought. Loki put a hand on your shoulder but you shrugged it off. ‘Don’t follow me’ you said while entering Steve’s room. To your surprise Loki actually stayed outside. You could still see him through the glass wall, but at least he gave you some space.
You sat down next to Steve and grabbed his hand. It was hard to see him in this state. ‘You should have walked it off’ you whispered to him. You knew Steve was going to be fine, but it would take a while. They didn’t know how long it was going to be before he wakes. You played the event back in your head and couldn’t help thinking what you did wrong. Tears were starting to form in your eyes. You closed your eyes and leaned against Steve’s arm, silently sobbing. You hadn’t noticed that Loki had entered the room until a pair of strong hand grabbed you and he pulled you in his lap in the chair next to you. ‘Shh, I got you’ he shushed while stroking your hair. It felt actually nice in his arms and you sobbed in his chest. ‘You can’t think like that. There was nothing you could have done differently’ he reassured you. He kept stroking your hair and telling you that you did nothing wrong. When you finally stopped sobbing he put his hand under your chin and made you face him. ‘I’m really sorry for snapping at you. I didn’t mean it, love’ he told you. You noticed how you felt a little giddy when he called you love, but for now decided to ignore it.
Loki carried you back to his room. He laid you down on his bed on top of the blankets. There were a lot of pillows, but it felt comfortable. He laid down beside you and you instinctively nuzzled against his chest. His arms were wrapped around you ‘Take a nap, you are really tired’ he said.
‘Are you here when I wake up?’ you asked him.
‘I promise, kitten’ he said while giving a kiss on your head. You saw a green shimmer and wanted to ask what he did. But before you could your eyelids felt heavy and you fell asleep immediately.
When you woke you looked up and saw Loki reading a book, while he was stroking your hair. ‘Feeling better?’ he asked when he noticed you were awake. You nodded and pulled yourself from his grasp. ‘What time is it?’ you asked him.
‘It’s 3.30 pm’ he said while snapping his book shut. ‘And you are not done for today’ he added. You cocked an eyebrow. But Loki got off his bed and motioned for you to follow him. He led you to the library and handed you a book. ‘Now, to be a healer you need to know things like autonomy. So, I want you to start studying with this book’ he said. You eyed the book and it was about the human body. You flipped through the book, the text was rather long and dry, but the information was important. Loki leaned closer ‘I’m going to quiz you next week, and if you don’t want to end up naked with my cock deep inside of you, I suggest you start studying every afternoon after physical practice’ he purred. You couldn’t help but blush at his words, causing Loki to lean in and starting to kiss your neck softly.
‘Loki, not here’ you mumbled. The truth was that you started to like him. You started to like his snarky comments, how good he could make you feel and loved it when he showed you his softer side. But he still was moody, possessive, egotistic and incredibly insensitive sometimes. So, you were torn. ‘Can’t have you studying too much. Because I really want to end up with my cock deep inside of you next week’ he whispered in your ear. A shiver ran down your spine. When Loki kissed you, all resistance left you. You kissed him back eagerly and slid your tongue inside his mouth. Loki moaned approvingly while his hand was under your shirt, unclipping your bra, and started to play with your breasts. One of his hand travelled downwards and he undid the button of your pants. He slid down beneath your waistband and felt that you were already wet. He pulled your pants and underpants down and moved you, so you could step outside of them. You were roaming his chest underneath his shirts, feeling his muscles flex underneath your touch.
Loki broke the kiss, undid the buttons of his own pants, and pulled his pants and underwear right down below his ass. In one smooth motion he lifted you up and your legs wrapped around his waist. He trapped your body between his and the bookcase behind him. You felt yourself stretched as his cock entered you, he had you impaled on his cock and you moaned loudly. One of his hands covered your mouth to muffle the sounds you were making. He started to thrust into you, in a very fast pace. It felt like he needed you. Like he hadn’t seen you in forever. It was different from the dominating way he had taken you before. Not that you minded, his cock was hitting just the right spot at this angle. Loki was grunting and you were moaning helplessly against his hand. You felt your pleasure wash over you and you clenched down on his cock. Loki snapped his hips a few more thrusts before spilling inside of you. After that, he slowly lowered you down and caught his breath while staring into your eyes. He pulled you in for a loving kiss. The library doors opened and the two of you quickly pulled up your pants and tried to make yourself as decent as you could. ‘Ah there you are, brother’ Thor’s voice boom throughout the library. He stopped when he saw the two of you, and you felt him look you up and down. Loki took a step before you, blocking his view. ‘What do you need?’ he asked in a rather bored voice.
‘We were going to spar together, unless you are occupied with other things’ Thor smirked.
‘I’ll be there in five minutes’ Loki replied, ignoring Thor’s suggestion.
With that Thor left. Loki turned around ‘I guess I should get going. Don’t study too hard’ he mused. He took a step closer and kissed you again. His hands went underneath your shirt and you felt him hook your bra back together. You blushed, realizing why Thor had made his suggestion. He winked at you before teleporting away.
Tags: @delightfulheartdream @l0nelyasian​ @the-best-phineas
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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years
Text
Spilled Pearls
- Chapter 15 - ao3 -
“I thought Sect Leader Wen was above visiting other sects,” Lan Qiren said sullenly, leading Wen Ruohan on a tour through the Cloud Recesses. He had nothing better to do: classes had been temporarily dismissed on account of sect business, what with the teachers all being recruited to receive the Wen sect’s retinue; at this rate, this year’s rogue cultivators wouldn’t learn anything of value, and Lan Qiren had the sneaking suspicion that it was somehow all his fault.
“I can’t imagine why you think that. Don’t I attend every discussion conference without fail?” Wen Ruohan said smoothly even though that wasn’t what Lan Qiren had meant and he knew it.
Wen Ruohan normally treated himself and his clan like the imperium, preferring to summon visitors rather than go to visit. Presumably, in this instance, it was only that his desire to bother Lan Qiren had overcome his vanity, or else perhaps he’d reminded himself that even the Emperor would sometimes summer at the homes of his lackeys, allowing them an unasked-for opportunity to pay homage to him.
Truly a very irritating man. Lan Qiren was almost entirely sure that it wasn’t his adolescent brain speaking, either, though he supposed he couldn’t discount the possibility entirely – he’d been very irritated by Cangse Sanren, too, and they were friends now.
Actually, he was still pretty irritated with her sometimes. Maybe it was just a symptom of adolescence. Or perhaps it was that strange similarity he sometimes found himself observing between them, whether it was their seeming timelessness or their overweening arrogance...
Well, when in doubt, there were always the rules: Do not disrespect your elders.
Also possibly Have affection and gratefulness, though that one had always been hard.
Lan Qiren took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and then released it, taking stock of himself: his walking pace was steady, his hands were clasped together so that they didn’t flail, and his appearance was calm. It was just a matter of getting his emotions under control, and he had plenty of experience with that.
“You’re right,” he finally said, releasing his irritation with an effort of willpower. “You do. I was being rude, and it was uncalled for. Is there any particular part of the Cloud Recesses that da-ge would like to see? I doubt the Library Pavilion or the main buildings have varied much since your last visit, but the gardens and wild forest are beautiful this time of year.”
Wen Ruohan was quiet for a while, the two of them walking side by side in silence, and then unexpectedly he said, “Does the Lan sect use well-water or river-water as your main source of drinking water?”
Lan Qiren stared at him in disbelief. “I’m not telling you that. That’s private!”
“Is it?”
“Not everyone’s like the Nightless City, telling everyone that they rely on a half-dozen imported sources for their food and drink and challenging them to try to do something about it,” Lan Qiren said crossly, and tried to remind himself Sneering for no reason is prohibited. “I’m not actually a half-wit, you know.”
“You misunderstand me,” Wen Ruohan said, though his eyes, narrow with satisfaction like a cat, suggested that he would have been more than happy to take advantage of the situation if Lan Qiren had been so foolish. “I only wished to know whether it was the source of water they are drinking that has rendered them all blind to the treasure they hold in their hands.”
“…I’m not showing you our treasury, either.”
Wen Ruohan barked a laugh. “That’s not what I meant, either. Why don’t you show me your Wall of Discipline? I’m sure there are a few new rules since last time.”
There probably were – the rules were like water, both eternal and in a constant state of flux – so Lan Qiren obediently turned his feet in that direction.
“It’s not a work-day,” he warned. “So you’ll miss out on any carving. But the rules are there, and I can answer any questions you have about them, if you like.”
“Any question? A bold claim.”
“Any question I know the answer to,” Lan Qiren clarified. “If I don’t, I can ask one of my teachers, or look at the books in the library.”
They walked in silence a little longer, although a surprisingly comfortable one given their age difference and Wen Ruohan’s general aura of barely restrained bloodthirst. Perhaps Lan Qiren was just getting used to it.
“Have I disturbed your afternoon plans with my visit?” Wen Ruohan eventually asked, gazing at the Wall contemplatively.
“I was going to meditate in the Cold Spring,” Lan Qiren said. “But it’s nothing I can’t do another time.”
“A Cold Spring?” A faint smirk flickered on Wen Ruohan’s face. “That’s useful for the suppression of yang energy.”
“And for cultivation, and for healing, and for encouraging clarity of thought,” Lan Qiren said, and managed to keep from rolling his eyes. “Of course, if da-ge is having some trouble controlling his lascivious thoughts, he is welcome to try it out. Such requests are not uncommon among newlyweds.”
Wen Ruohan was smirking outright now. “Tell me, little Lan, has that sharp tongue of yours ever cut the inside of your mouth? Or is that something you reserve for me?”
Lan Qiren pretended not to hear him and instead pointed out one of the rules on the Wall. “I always rather liked that one.”
Wen Ruohan glanced over and saw Have wins and losses - otherwise known, colloquially, as don’t be a sore loser - and grinned. “Oh, really? I find I’m rather partial to Honor the aged and wise, myself.”
“Really? And here I would have thought someone as humble as da-ge would opt for Do not say one thing and mean another, or maybe the prohibition against praising yourself.”
“Are you saying I do not count as aged, little Lan?”
“I would never question your years,” Lan Qiren said. “But the rule does include two clauses.”
Wen Ruohan was surprised into a snicker. “Sharp and sharper! Is this more of your vaunted Do not tell lies?”
“Be of one mind,” Lan Qiren retorted. “Anyway, you enjoy it, or else you would’ve just pointed out Do not argue with your family.”
“Indeed, I am not Qingheng-jun,” Wen Ruohan said, his smile poisonous, and Lan Qiren, struck dead on by the accurate blow, could only glare at him. “My little brother can argue with me any time he pleases…and does, I find. I told you to come to the Nightless City, and you disobeyed.”
“Learning comes first,” Lan Qiren said. “I had classes. Like I told you!”
“And your father and brother agreed with your prioritization?”
Lan Qiren winced, having not told them of Wen Ruohan’s request for exactly that reason.
Wen Ruohan only smirked, though, and did not call him out on it further. “Perhaps I will take you up on your offer,” he remarked instead, and for a moment Lan Qiren had no idea what he was talking about. “Travel is always so wearying, and I’ve heard fine things about the quality of the Cold Spring in Gusu.”
Right, that.
Lan Qiren was pretty sure he was allowed to make that offer.
“Unless of course you planned to have other company there…?” Wen Ruohan glanced at him and saw his confusion. “Your little immortal’s disciple lover?”
“Certainly not!” Lan Qiren exclaimed. “Men and women do not mix like that. Anyway, she’s not my lover. We’re only friends. She’s agreed.”
Wen Ruohan’s eyebrows went up as if Lan Qiren had revealed more than he’d intended.
“Very well,” he said, sounding almost agreeable. “I’ll take your word for it.”
Lan Qiren eyed him suspiciously.
“I’d still like to meet her.”
Of course he would.
“She might not like you,” Lan Qiren warned, shaking his head. Cangse Sanren was a warm and generous person, but her views were unshakable once set, and she feared nothing; he could only guess at the monstrous clash of egos that was about to take place. “But she should be by the training field at this time of day; we can go there next.”
Wen Ruohan reached out and ran his fingers along the Wall – seemingly at random, hitting Change clothes after taking a bath and No adornments that make sound as he did – and then turned to follow Lan Qiren with a look in his eyes that Lan Qiren did not understand.
“Then let us go,” he said.
As he’d thought, Cangse Sanren was practicing alone in the training field, looking especially fierce with her hair flowing freely in the wind as she danced with blade and horsetail whisk. Lan Qiren waited until she was done with her current set before clearing his throat to announce their presence; when she turned, he pulled out a ribbon from his sleeve – he’d taken to carrying spares – and offered it to her.
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you,” he said to her. “It doesn’t matter how high your cultivation is, it’s still not going to help you in a fight if the wind changes mid-move and you get smacked in the face with your own hair.”
“Maybe,” she sniffed. “But I look amazing.”
Lan Qiren rolled his eyes.
“This is Cangse Sanren, a disciple of Baoshan Sanren,” he told Wen Ruohan. “She has no personal name, so don’t ask for one. Cangse Sanren, this is Sect Leader Wen.”
Lan Qiren had heard rumors that Wen Ruohan had once had a personal title, but that he hadn’t liked it, and that he’d ensured that no one ever dared to use it to his face. At any rate, Lan Qiren didn’t know it now and could not use it as an introduction.
Not that Cangse Sanren would have cared, of course. She raised her hands in a salute, boldly keeping her head raised and the bow shallow enough to be insolent.
“I’ve heard of you,” she said, her eyes slightly narrowed.
“And I of you,” Wen Ruohan responded. “It’s been a long time since a disciple has descended from the immortal mountain. Tell me, are you planning on joining the Lan sect?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” she said. “Are you planning on proposing some alternative you think I might like better?”
“Perhaps I will. You never know what the future might bring.”
“Knowing the present and the past would seem a sufficient guide to me.”
Lan Qiren looked between them in growing alarm as they exchanged seemingly pleasant words in cutting tones. It wasn’t that he hadn’t expected this, but perhaps not quite so quickly...
“Could the two of you maybe not do this?” he asked, feeling a little plaintive. He didn’t want to have to explain how a casual tour designed to kill time had escalated into an inter-sect issue. “Cangse Sanren, if my da-ge’s presence bothers you, we can just leave.”
Cangse Sanren broke away from the staring match she’d started with Wen Ruohan to frown at him. “You call him da-ge?”
“Is there any reason he shouldn’t?” Wen Ruohan’s voice was as smooth as the silk used to execute empresses. “He’s my sworn brother, after all.”
“Oh, I know that,” she said. “It’s only that he calls Qingheng-jun ‘xiongzhang’.”
Wen Ruohan seemed a little surprised by that. He glanced at Lan Qiren, who scowled back at him. “So what?” he said, feeling oddly defensive. “You asked to be called ‘da-ge’.”
“I suppose I did,” Wen Ruohan said, and his lips curled upwards in satisfaction.
“Hey, Lan-xiao-gege,” Cangse Sanren suddenly said, and Lan Qiren automatically glared: he didn’t like her calling him that. “Could you get me a ribbon from my room?”
“What? I just gave you –”
“There’s one in particular inside a qiankun pouch on my desk,” she said, barreling on. “You can just bring the whole thing. I need it rather urgently, and for various reasons cannot go myself.”
“But –”
“You shouldn’t deny a lady in need, little Lan,” Wen Ruohan interjected. “Don’t forget that chivalry is one of your rules. Go and return; I will wait for you here.”
“And I’ll keep an eye on him to make sure he does,” Cangse Sanren said, which was horribly rude even if he did somewhat need that reassurance. “Please, Qiren-gege? Would you?”
“…all right,” Lan Qiren said, having the distinct feeling that he was being ganged up on. “I’ll be back right away.”
There was a rule against running, but he’d long ago mastered the art of walking as quickly as he could without breaking any of the rules against haste; he was able to retrieve the pouch and return to the training field within a single ke, which he thought might have broken some sort of record. Even so, by the time he returned with the pouch, Cangse Sanren and Wen Ruohan were standing side-by-side with identical expressions of smug satisfaction that suggested that they’d accomplished whatever it was that they’d so obviously wanted him out of the way for.
Hopefully not a recruitment into the Wen sect. His brother would kill him.
“Ah, Qiren-gege!” Cangse Sanren said, and accepted the pouch. As if purposefully adding insult to injury, she tied it to her waist without even bothering to pretend to root around inside for the ribbon or whatever thing she had so ‘urgently’ needed from it. “You’re the best.”
“And you’re a pest,” he told her, but she only looked pleased with herself. He wasn’t going to get any answers out of her, and he didn’t even bother to hope for one from Wen Ruohan, who was exactly the same. He looked at him regardless: “Da-ge, are you done here? Even though they haven’t sent word, I’m sure the elders have finished preparing to receive you properly, so you can finally do whatever it is that you came to the Cloud Recesses to do.”
Get out of my way maybe, he meant, and not especially subtly, either.
“Uh, Qiren-gege,” Cangse Sanren said, grinning at him. “I’m pretty sure he’s already doing that.”
Lan Qiren refrained from rolling his eyes at her yet again – nobody would gather up their entire retinue to travel halfway across the cultivation world to see him – and turned expectantly to Wen Ruohan.
“I gave my lieutenants orders to begin negotiations without me,” he said, looking disinterested. “Your sect elders will not want me to disturb them until they have reached preliminary agreement on the main points, so as to avoid losing face for either sect in the event we can’t reach an appropriate resolution.”
Lan Qiren hadn’t thought of that. He supposed it made sense.
Irritating, irritating sense.
“We’ve already seen quite a lot of the Cloud Recesses,” Wen Ruohan added. “Why don’t we take some tea in your rooms?”
Lan Qiren thought about his rooms, which were still in a terrible state, and tensed – he’d neatened up as best as he could after his tantrum in the little time he’d had to himself, but removing all the broken things had left the space bare and uninviting. He wasn’t even sure he even had a matching tea set left.
“You should go down to Caiyi Town,” Cangse Sanren announced. “It has a thriving market full of unique goods, and from what I hear you have a new bride, Sect Leader Wen. If you don’t get her something from your trip, she’ll never forgive you.”
Wen Ruohan hummed thoughtfully, and Lan Qiren seized on the excuse to nod fervently and usher Wen Ruohan towards the gates instead of his rooms.
“I’m sure you’ll be able to find something to her taste,” he told Wen Ruohan, and for some reason remembered how the man’s long-nailed hand, capable of crushing mountains, had so delicately held the bowl Lan Qiren had painted as he had drunk his wedding toasts, as if he’d been afraid of causing the slightest damage to it. “There’s plenty there.”
“I’m sure there is,” Wen Ruohan said, and to Lan Qiren’s relief they were able to spend the next two shichen wandering slowly through the market. Wen Ruohan seemed to be particularly interested in stalls or shops selling household goods, whether vases or inkstones or paperweights, or else in paintings and other decorations; he solicited Lan Qiren’s thoughts on them all, and insisted on hearing them no matter how much Lan Qiren tried to demur.
“I really don’t know how much it’ll help you to know that I personally prefer my décor to have neutral colors with abstract designs,” he said, rubbing his forehead after one particularly extended discussion with a very enthusiastic shop manager in which they, again, did not make any purchase. “I doubt your new bride shares my excessively particular tastes.”
“What makes them excessive, rather than simply a preference?” Wen Ruohan asked, strolling over to where Lan Qiren was standing and running a finger along the blanket Lan Qiren had been absent-mindedly kneading with his hands out of lack of anything better to do. It was made of multilayer silk, airy as a cloud but trapping enough heat to allow for some warmth, and some clever designer had introduced some sort of subtle pattern to the embroidery that made it feel almost fuzzy. Lan Qiren had liked it at once, although regrettably it was the sort of expensive that was beyond the reach of even his generous allowance, especially since he’d so recently depleted it; it would have required him to rely on sect credit to obtain it.
He was technically entitled to do so, especially as one of the main branch family, but it wasn’t worth the snippy comments about Do not wallow in luxury that he’d invariably get for it. When he was younger, his brother had, in a rare moment of sympathy, told him that he’d be able to do much more and allow himself far more freedom while still avoiding such criticism if only he weren’t so insistent on talking about the rules all the time, but at that age Lan Qiren had struggled tremendously with focusing on other subjects and it had seemed easier to simply give up a few privileges. Later, of course, he’d realized that he didn’t have to give up those rights at all – the rule against luxury was intended to forestall dissipation and waste, the prioritizing of self-indulgence over duty, not occasional purchases designed to make life more comfortable – but his austere habits had remained. It was easier to pretend to have a preference towards asceticism and restraint than to admit that he was just being picky again, that he’d rather no blanket than a scratchy one or that loud colors or busy designs hurt his eyes and distracted him from his studies no matter how beautiful the art.
“I don’t suppose you remember those greens they were serving, the first time we met?” Lan Qiren asked dryly. “The ones I didn’t eat? It’s a bit like that.”
“Mm, I recall,” Wen Ruohan said, which surprised Lan Qiren: the other man’s memory must be prodigious to recall such a small event in such a long life. “You cried when you tried to force yourself.”
“It was a physical reaction,” Lan Qiren said through gritted teeth. How did Wen Ruohan always manage to find the most irritating take on any subject? “I gagged, that’s all. Anyway, all I meant was that I’m picky and particular, set in my ways and preferences, and what I like doesn’t necessarily transfer to other people.”
He wanted to ask Are you planning on getting something here already, but that would be crossing the line from blunt to intolerably rude, given that Wen Ruohan was his guest and his elder. Instead, he waited until it seemed like Wen Ruohan was done talking, and then edged pointedly towards the exit in the hope that the older man would get the hint.
In the end, they returned to the Cloud Recesses just in time for dinner, in which Lan Qiren was seated next to Wen Ruohan but which, per Lan sect rules, was silent, and was happily sidelined for most of the discussions that took place afterwards, which were mostly about sect affairs. The next two days Wen Ruohan spent fully ensconced in negotiations with Lan Qiren’s father and brother, and the day after that he was scheduled to leave – he had made plans to visit the Jin sect next before returning to Qishan, a route that ever so coincidentally would make it convenient for him to unofficially swing by Qinghe on his return as well – and in the end they only had time to take tea a few more times, almost always in the company of others.
Lan Qiren breathed a sigh of relief at having managed at least one successful one-on-one interaction with Wen Ruohan that hadn’t blown up in his face. He obtained belated permission for his invitation to the Cold Spring and mentioned to Wen Ruohan that he could take advantage of it during his next visit, whenever that might be – Wen Ruohan had seemed pleased by the offer – and obediently watched the visitors depart before returning, at long last, to his classes.
There were whispers, of course, but he ignored them with the ease of long practice. His sworn brotherhood was unusual, inevitably drawing attention; that would not change, just as it would not change the existence of it, and so other people would simply have to grow bored of their gossip first.
It wasn’t until later, when classes broke for the day, that he finally went back to his rooms.
His rooms, which –
Did not look like his rooms.
Lan Qiren stared.
What should have been bare walls and a cracked table and a bed with a single sheet had been transformed: there were paintings and vases, each with the subtle designs he favored, the latter filled with flowers emitting a cool and subtle scent; the incense burner had been replaced with one of delicate and intricate copperwork, a perfect match to the copper accents that adorned the new table, made of dark wood, that had replaced the one he’d broken. Even the pillows and blanket had been replaced – and he recognized that blanket, expensive and unnecessary, with clever embroidery and multiple layers of silk –
“His taste’s a bit much, I think,” Cangse Sanren said from behind him, having apparently followed him in at some point when he hadn’t noticed. “But I suppose you can’t fault him for efficiency.”
Lan Qiren turned to stare at her. “You – you knew about this?”
She grinned at him.
“You didn’t say – you didn’t tell – !” Lan Qiren looked around. “He was shopping for me?”
“All your fault,” she said cheerfully. “Apparently you were the one who started it all, giving him a gift –”
“He was getting married!”
“Some men are unreasonably competitive, Qiren-gege. Your sworn brother is one of them.”
“I – a competition – ?!”
“Possibly he also felt bad about getting you drunk and taking advantage of you,” she said. “And wanted to make up for it somehow. Just a thought.”
Lan Qiren flapped his hands in the air, unable to form words for a while – not least because he was pretty sure Wen Ruohan didn’t do emotions like felt bad, and probably maxed out at this made you have feelings which are inconvenient for me – and then finally settled on some: “What did the two of you talk about?!”
Cangse Sanren poked at the new guqin stand in the corner, dark wood and copper as well, embedded with a few dimly glowing night-pearls, and nodded to herself in satisfaction at its balance. “Blind people with no judgment or appreciation, mostly.”
“…what?!”
“I may have also mentioned that your room was looking a bit too ascetic recently…”
“Cangse Sanren!”
She laughed her peculiar laugh, the deep one that came from her belly and made everyone around her want to join in, and took to her heels as if afraid that he might chase her. Lan Qiren seriously considered it for a moment, wanting to scold her and also to extract every detail about how she had almost certainly tried to scold one of the most terrifying men currently living, but he found himself drifting over to the bed instead, putting his hands into the comfortable blanket and already imagining how well he would sleep with it tucked tightly around him.
Fine, he thought, scowling down at it with a glare that was for no one’s benefit, not even himself. Maybe next time he writes inviting me, I’ll even go.
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pekotranslates · 3 years
Text
Traces of Two Pasts: Episode Tifa - pgs 40-52
Disclaimer: Also, I started this for fun so that my friends who don't have access can read it. I'm just another fan like you. With that said, I do try to be as faithful to the original source material as possible, and for those of you who can read Japanese, please support the author by buying his book.
Not everyone agreed with Chief Zonder's decision. The elderly—a major force in the village—began to make noise. They seemed to take a liking to Zangan's longevity exercises, and regretted not being able to memorize what was taught to them. They wanted someone to check if their poses were correct, and wished to learn the remaining exercises he was supposed to have taught them.
The village chief paid a visit at dinnertime.
"Hey, Tifa..." he said with a sullen expression. "Will you teach the old folks how to do Zangan's exercises properly?"
"Why Tifa?" her father asked. She just knew he would ask.
"Because Zangan named her. Told me that if we ever needed someone to mentor us, Tifa would be qualified. Said that she had the most controlled form* out of everyone who gathered there that day.
Kata, which means “form” in Japanese, is the term used to describe specific sequences of motion that are used to practice technique and execution in martial arts
It pleased her knowing that someone spoke of her like that when not in her presence, but it also caused her to be slightly embarrassed.
"Zonder, don't get my family involved."
"Aw, c'mon! I'm already in big trouble as it is. The old folks just won't let it go!"
"Hmph!" Brian Lockhart snorted. He enjoyed seeing the village chief squirm. She couldn't tell whether or not they actually got along with each other.
"Tifa, what do you think?"
"I'd just be teaching the elderly people those exercises, right? If that's all there is, then I'd like to try."
"Tifa..." her father began, but he swallowed back his complaint. He knew that it wasn't good for her to have too much time on her hands. "Well, if you're gonna do it, then do it right."
While preparing breakfast, Tifa heard a knock at the door, and opened to a woman’s face she barely recognized. It was an elderly woman called "Mon Amie" who was an aunt of sorts to Chief Zonder. Her hair was pulled back into a bun so tight that it looked like her eyes were being pulled straight up!
"Good morning to you. It's been a long time, Tifa. I heard that Zonder told you all about it. How about 2 gil per hour?"
"Sorry?" She had not heard about any renumeration.
"Well, you are thirteen now. Not a little girl anymore, so that doesn't cut it for you, eh? Alright then, how about 4 gil?"
"No, I don't want any money."
"That won't do. We are taking this very seriously, and you will be properly paid for your work."
No matter how much Zangan trusted her, would she really be up to the task? But, being able to earn her own money sounded very appealing, as if a whole new world had opened up to her.
Mon Amie took Tifa's silence as her wanting to bargain for higher wages.
"6 gil."
"Alright. 6 gil it is then."
"Brian never did leave the village. He wanted to keep Thea all to himself." Mon Amie suddenly brought up her parents during their exercise routine at the public square.
"Really?" said Tifa, adjusting Mon Amie's arm posture. She needed to get her to straighten her back and push out her chest a bit more for the desired result.
"She was quite the popular one, that child."
It wasn’t very pleasant hearing her mother being called "that child", yet Tifa encouraged her. Listening to the elderly tell old stories was a part of her job. The responsibility she felt from receiving wages tempered her patience.
"You should leave the village," said Mon Amie suddenly. "Doesn't it sound like fun going around to different places with Master Zangan?"
"It sure does."
"Alright, you don't have to play along with me. No need for you to learn things like that. Just think about it carefully, okay? Something needs to change for women here in Nibelheim."
Tifa silently nodded as she propped up Mon Amie's arm.
"There weren't any women around in my day who held this kind of thinking. But that Strife girl”—she was speaking of Cloud's mother—"tried to leave. Not sure if it's because she hated it here, or if she dreamed of going to the big city."
Mon Amie abruptly altered her pose, ruining her base form.
"To the traditional Nibelheim women, she seemed pretty unconventional. We all refused to accept her ways, but secretly felt the same. Even though we scolded her, deep down inside we were cheering her on. We even felt jealous of her for carving out her own path. Perhaps she changed something in us, little by little.”
Tifa lifted up Mon Amie's knee. "Up high like this. Thank you."
She supported Mon Amie as the woman’s body rocked back and forth.
"But Claudia remained in the village, didn't she?" said Tifa.
"Well, that’s because she fell in love. You see, a man traveled here. Claudia was helping out at the inn at the time. She must have been taken in by the outside air he brought with him. And he was a pretty fellow. I’m sure you see it when you look at Cloud. That boy got the best of both his parents!”
“Right…”
“But, just like the wind, he just couldn’t keep still. Not sure if Cloud learned how to walk yet, but around that time he told her he would go to the mountains, but never came back. They found his belongings though. His body probably got eaten by monsters. You were lucky you didn’t meet the same fate.”
Tifa braced herself. Was she going to bring up that incident?
“Cloud egging you on to climb Mt. Nibel… Maybe that was in his blood.”
Mon Amie’s body began to sway. Tifa had stopped holding onto her causing her to lose her balance. She couldn’t regain her footing in time, and fell flat down on her backside.
“Alright then," said Tifa. "Now let’s use the opposite leg. Please lift up your knee.”
Tifa held out a helping hand to her, but Mon Amie refused and got up on her own.
“Quite strict for a pretty face.”
“That’s because I get paid 6 gil to be.”
Before long, she became more attentive. She noticed Mon Amie lifting up her other knee, but it was at the wrong height again. While Tifa helped her to adjust, Mon Amie said, “You really don’t remember anything? You know, about that accident you got into?”
She was eight years old when she got into that accident on Mt. Nibel. Cloud was with her. The villagers chose to believe the story based on Emilio and the others’ testimonies, and nothing else could be said about it. Tifa really couldn't remember what happened.
"No, unfortunately not..."
Whether the elderly came to her for exercising or just to chat, it was tougher than she had imagined. Her father laughed at her and said he wouldn't have anything to do with them, even for 100 gil.
They never listened and were set in their ways, even the ones who kept away and smiled modestly at her. They just had a different view on things, and sulked if nobody paid them attention.
The topics they discussed also surprised Tifa, and sometimes hurt her too. She disliked whenever they brought up how her body looked so grown. There would be someone who sensed her discomfort or resentment, and would try to change the subject, but then it would turn into whom she should be with and things of that nature.
So, all things considered, Tifa preferred hearing them going on about herself rather than her father’s failed romances, or whom her mother used to hang out with before she got married to him. To the elderly townsfolk, her father and others his age were still “the village youth”.
After her day finished and she was about to go to sleep, she thought to herself that maybe there would be a time when she would be the one telling someone else about what happened today, or about some news she heard from another person. Telling the same stories over and over again, everyday just like the next, until she, herself, became just a relic of an era in village history.
“They confused me at first, but I got used to being around them, and then it wasn’t so bad anymore. That feeling of wanting someone to talk to—Everyone has that,” explained Tifa.
“So that’s where you learned to entertain guests? From spending your time talking to old folks?” asked Barret.
“Possibly. Maybe that did me good. More and more of the elderly signed up, and they started calling their morning gatherings the ‘Calisthenics Club’.”
“It’s like that at Seventh Heaven too,” said Barret with some intensity.
Aerith urged him to talk.
“It used to be just a small shop owned by this one gramps, but when Tifa started working there, the business picked up. Men crowded the place. Know what I mean, Red?”
“What I’m more interested in is what happened to Zangan afterward? I can sort of imagine based on your fighting style, Tifa...” said Red XIII.
“You’re right. There was a little more that happened before I got to where I'm at.”
A month passed after the start of the Calisthenics Club. All morning Tifa would teach the exercises and set aside time for her reading and arithmetic. The afternoon she'd go to the mountains and work hard towards building up her strength and stamina, and then would return home before sunset so her father wouldn’t worry. At night she would examine Zangan's writings and practice her form, reviewing the materials over and over again so as to not overlook anything.
One day, she received a letter from Emilio. He wrote about the fast-paced lifestyle in the big city, and told her about everything he found perplexing: arguments he had had with people, things he ate, the social inequality, and their differences in moral values.
“But whenever I get discouraged, it’s you I think about, Tifa, and then I imagine that day when I’ll come and get you. I'll write to you sometimes and teach you about the city, so you won't be so confused when that time comes.”
Who do you think you are? That's how she honestly felt reading the letter.
Zangan appeared, acting as if nothing had happened. He knocked on the door just in time to greet her father and asked for his permission to call Tifa out, and then led her to the river where they first met.
“Master Zangan, please let me be your student. I want to be stronger.”
“That’s exactly the answer I was looking for, but what’s the matter, Tifa? I sense your impatience. Why are you in such a hurry?”
“That’s not it!” she replied, but felt self-conscious. “No… It’s because I got that letter from my friend.”
“What kind of letter?”
“I think it’s because I don’t want to lose. I don’t want to lose to anyone who left the village.”
“Hmm. My hand-to-hand combat techniques are not meant to be used to make you feel superior to others.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t. But the answer to that can only be found through diligent study. All right. I will acknowledge you if you pass my test.”
“Test?”
“Show me everything you’ve learned from Volume 1. You’ve been practicing, haven’t you?”
“Yes.”
Tifa performed a sequence of forms from the physical training method.
“One more time, from the beginning.”
“Okay.”
This time Zangan interrupted with instructions.
"Check the book to see the direction your palms should be facing."
Tifa crouched down over the book and flipped through the pages. The form was wrong from the very start. Should have been above not below.
“I was wrong.”
“Try again.”
When she extended both hands and slightly shifted the direction of her palms, she felt a different set of muscles tingling.
“Everything from the Book of Secrets must be obeyed. Don’t try to interpret it another way or decide that your way is better. While disciplining your body, you must learn to be faithful to your decisions. If I take you in as my student, you will become stronger. So, you must cultivate your mind to control that power. The greater and stronger the power to handle, the greater the responsibility of its owner. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
The second time around, Zangan pointed out any minor mistakes she made. Each time she would have to go back and confirm with the Book of Secrets before advancing, which made things take twice as long. Fatigue built up in her arms and legs.
“Alright, now relax and close your eyes. Focus your attention and check the condition of your body. Does it hurt anywhere?”
“My upper back… I wouldn’t say it hurts but it feels like it’s burning...”
She slipped her right hand underneath her left armpit until it touched the lower part of her shoulder blade. Digging her fingers into it felt good.
“Hmph!” Zangan gave a satisfying nod. “That’s your shoulder blade. What you’re pressing into is the trapezius muscle. Surrounding it is your deltoid, infraspinatus, psoas minor and other muscles. The second volume will teach you how to train each one of those muscles on your back,” he said, while holding out a booklet to her. It was Volume 2.
“If you want to live your life with pride then pay close attention to your back. Squeeze your shoulder blades together, chest out. Walking through life with a beautiful posture is also part of your training.”
“Got it.”
“Let’s get started. Well then, onto Volume 2, No. 2-1-1, scapular push-ups.”
Zangan immediately prostrated himself on the ground, and lowered his chest. Tifa hastened to follow his example.
“All you're doing is supporting your whole body with your arms. Concentrate on your shoulder blades. Rotate them outwards—protract, retract, protract.”
It was her first time experiencing those movements. How was she supposed to move to protract her shoulder blades? She couldn’t picture it in her mind. Glancing over at Zangan she noticed he was rotating his shoulders outward, something her cat, Maru, often did.
“You look like a cat,” she said.
“Right. There’s a lot we can learn from cats.”
She focused her attention on her scapula, going up and down, until the repetition of movements were drilled into her body. Zangan rose and watched over Tifa for some time before clearing his throat.
“Good!”
The movements were subtle but still made her perspire.
“That’s because the muscles across your back are wider. Moving them increases the blood flow and raises your temperature, so that’s why you’re working up a sweat.”
After completing Volume 2, Tifa was sweating profusely. She felt unthinkable pain throughout her whole back.
“Alright, any questions? If you do, now’s your chance.”
She wanted to say, yes, but nothing came to mind at the moment.
“If not, then we’ll move onto Volume 3.”
“Huh?” she couldn’t help but shout. Her whole body was screaming in pain. Zangan ignored her and continued.
“Volume 3 is for chest and abs. We’re going to train your front body. The pectoralis major muscle is roughly divided into three parts: upper, middle and lower. There are several different ways to effectively train it, but I’ll teach you the basic concepts.”
“Alright…”
“At your age, your overall motor skills are complete, and in that regard, you excel. You haven’t had any special training, have you? If so, then you must have been born with this. Treasure it.”
“I will.”
She felt energy pour into her body. Perhaps listening to Zangan talk with a relaxed mind helped her to recover from fatigue.
“After a while, we’ll concentrate on building your muscles. But you will not be using any equipment except your body. We won’t be using barbells or dumbbells until you’re much older. Besides, our Zangan-ryu hardly finds them necessary. That is because I prescribe individual fighting styles that suit each of my students. You don’t need arms built like logs or a bulky chest. What you need is to build up a fighting style that will utilize those reflexes, that body, and your speed. Well, what do you want to do? Shall we call it a day?”
“No. Please go on.”
She didn’t want to disappoint the first person who had managed to earn her respect.
“Yes, that’s the spirit! Alright. But we’ll stop here for today. Let’s call this current level of fatigue your limit. Keep it in mind. You have a long way before you can try to challenge that limit to surpass it. Continuity is more important now than ever.”
On their way back, a realization came over Tifa regarding Zangan’s test. It didn't annoy her. If her father tried to make her work like that she’d probably stop talking to him for three days in a row. With those thoughts in mind, she walked her teacher back to the inn.
“Say hello to your father for me.”
As she stood in front of her house she could smell the scent of spices in the air. Spices that her mother liked to use in her best recipe. It was her father’s favorite dish, but since Tifa didn’t really like it, it was hardly ever served at the dining table.
She opened the door and said, “I’m home.”
“Welcome back.” Her father, dressed in an apron, peeked out at her from the kitchen.
“This smell… Huh? Is it mom’s?”
“I was really craving it... Oh, but I made something else for you.”
She was filled with remorse. She didn’t like the way he looked or the tone of voice he used when trying to gauge her mood, but it was all her fault for making it that way.
Novel by Kazushige Nojima
Translated by pekotranslates
Proofread by Eerie
99 notes · View notes
chudleycanonficfest · 3 years
Text
The Soul Truth
Day 2, Story #1 is by @honouraryweasley12
Title: The Soul Truth
Author: honouraryweasley12
Pairing: Ron x Hermione
Prompt: Soulmates
Rating: K+
TW: none
The ornate doors slid open and Hermione stepped out of the lift, her shoes clacking on the stone floor as she walked forward, head held high but movements stiff. She quickly found that it was best to give off a strong, confident air as she met with various ministries in her new capacity. 
She hadn't been in this part of the Ministry often and it was quite unfamiliar to her. All the more reason to keep her guard up.
"Greetings, Minister Granger-Weasley. Congratulations on your victory."
A wizened old man in heavy, dark robes welcomed her, limping forward and holding out a shaky gnarled hand. She took it and met his eyes, which were still sharp—despite his advanced age. A playful twinkle shone out from them, reminding her immediately of Dumbledore.
"Thank you."
He gave her a smile. "Welcome to Archive floor of the Department of Mysteries."
She looked around the cavernous space, taking everything in. She could practically feel the hum of ancient magic reverberating around the walls.
"And you are?"
"I am the Archivist."
"Oh, I meant your name."
He chuckled. "We don't use our given names in this department, just our titles. There is great power in names, as you no doubt know, and we don't want that to interfere with the work we are doing here."
"What should I call you?"
He thought for a moment, before looking up at her. "For today, you can call me… Dave."
She immediately relaxed and shook her head, her face incredulous. "Why Dave?"
"Ah, you see, the power of names. By picking something so simple and informal, your posture and tone changed completely. Had I picked something more formal, you would have responded in kind."
She smiled, immediately taking a liking to the mysterious old man. "Lead the way, Dave. I was told I would be receiving the grand tour."
The two walked slowly through the vast archives, the various rooms and chambers full of different experiments, mystical objects, and parchments.
"Where is everyone?" Hermione stopped to ask, noticing that they hadn't seen a single person, Unspeakable or otherwise, as she was shown around.
"Some of our greatest breakthroughs happen in the early morning or late evening. We encourage our members to work when it best suits them." He squinted at a battered gold watch that seemed to weigh heavily on his wrist. "Yes, 3:00 PM is usually the quietest time of the day down here."
"I see. I do some of my best work at odd times as well."
He nodded sagely. "The quiet mind is often the clearest."
They continued touring through, until they came to a small door tucked behind several suits of armour. It was so old and dark that Hermione wouldn't have even noticed it, had Dave not mentioned it.
"Most Ministers of Magic I've worked with seem to be worried about other objects down here that might help them, but I have something interesting which I think you'll appreciate."
He fished out a small key from within the folds in his robes and turned it in the lock. The heavy door creaked open to reveal a closet-sized space with a single pedestal. On top of it sat a thin, aged book.
"It's my understanding that you are an avid reader, Minister."
"Yes, how did you know?"
"It's my job to know," he added gravely, watching her eyes narrow. He waved his hand dismissively, grinning again. "No, no, I'm only joking. I happened to share a lift with Auror Weasley one Monday morning, and while I didn't mean to eavesdrop, he was complaining quite loudly to Auror Potter that he missed you, because you had your nose stuck in a book all weekend. I mean no offense, of course."
She blushed and rolled her eyes affectionately. "That sounds like Ron alright."
"That's why I thought this might be of interest to you," he continued, gesturing to the pedestal.
She couldn't help but be intrigued as she stared down at the frail old book, her voice dipping down to a whisper of reverence. "What is it?"
"It's called The Book of Souls—though it's just a single parchment. Yet, it's the most dangerous object down here."
Hermione stared at it, her face a mask of awe. "How so?"
"Legend has it that the parchment was created by a powerful young witch, who was being courted by a prince. She wasn't sure if he was her soulmate, for she sensed a darkness in him, so she invoked some very ancient magic to help reveal the truth."
"It worked?"
"Indeed, it did. The parchment was charmed to reveal a small note, riddle, and sometimes even a name to the reader, one that would help them understand who their soulmate was. Unfortunately for that witch, her soulmate was most decidedly not the prince. She rejected his proposal, and as was the case back then, disappeared under mysterious circumstances soon after."
"That's terrible. Then what happened?"
"As the story goes, rumour spread about the witch's parchment, and as with most powerful objects, the lure of it drew out many seekers. Though the object was made with good intentions, it soon led to a trail of darkness and bloodshed. Broken families, obsessions, blackmail, jealousy, and even death. Knowing that kind of unshakeable truth proved to be a valuable commodity, or a lifetime of heartbreak for those unable to meet their soulmate."
Hermione nodded. It sounded very much like the Elder Wand, but more subtle and insidious. One thing was puzzling her though. "I've never heard of this before, and I've studied many books about souls, both ancient and dark."
"Once the Ministry recovered it, they deemed it was too dangerous for this information to be out there, so they've removed all known references to it. Those who had known of it died off, and it was forgotten from memory."
"When was this?"
"Centuries ago. However, as Minister, you are privileged to learn certain pieces of information that the general population is not privy to."
"Fascinating," Hermione replied. She watched as he slowly reached a hand toward the weathered book. "Wait! What are you doing?"
"Every so often I check to make sure it's still under the cover, and since we're already in here, I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all. Does… does that mean you've looked at it?"
"Oh no, never. I always look away, as should you."
He lifted the corner for a second, and try as she might, Hermione couldn't help but open her eyes to see a word of blazing red ink, before he shut the cover again. Hermione felt the blood drain from her face, unable to comprehend the word she saw so very briefly.
"No, it couldn't be."
"What was that Minister? Did you say something?"
Hermione shook her head.
"Everything seems to be in order here. Shall we continue?"
Hermione nodded mutely, the word still burned in her thoughts.
~*~
She cancelled the rest of her meetings and went straight home after finishing with Dave, or whatever his real name was, needing time to collect her thoughts. How could she tell Ron, the love of her life, what she had seen?
She sat at their dining table, absentmindedly stirring a soothing cup of tea when he walked in.
"Hermione, I'm home."
He came bounding into the kitchen, a piece of parchment in each hand and a wide smile on his face. "Look, the kids wrote. Hugo promises he's already started studying for O.W.L.s, and Rosie is nervous, but excited, to captain her first match against Ravenclaw next week."
"That's great," she replied, her voice a dull monotone.
"They even said their classmates think it's cool that you were elected as the youngest Minister of Magic in history."
"Hmm."
Ron looked at her and frowned. "What's wrong? Tough day?"
Hermione pulled out the chair next to her and patted it. "Come sit down."
Ron scrutinized her again. "The last time you did that, it was to tell me you were pregnant with Hugo. Are you pregnant?"
She sighed. "No, please just come here, I need to tell you something, and I don't think you're going to like it."
He sat down, unsure of what was coming. She quickly told him about the Archivist, the tour, and the Book of Souls, before swearing him to secrecy.
"You saw something when he lifted the cover, didn't you?"
She nodded sadly. "I saw a word."
"What did it say?"
"I-I don't want to tell you."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not true. Whatever it says, it's not true."
"C'mon Hermione, please tell me."
"It said… Krum."
Ron let out a laugh. "Oh, is that all?"
"What do you mean? Viktor Krum is my soulmate, and that's all you have to say!?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"That you're upset, that you care that I was destined to be with Viktor."
"Destined? We have two beautiful kids, an amazing family, and great careers. I don't care what some ruddy old book says, the charms are probably wonky anyway." He pointed to his chest. "I know that I love you with all of my heart, and you feel the same."
She slid into his lap and threw her arms around his neck. "I do, you know I do… but…but…"
"What?"
She suddenly burst into tears, burying her head in his neck as she sobbed. "I-I always had this idea in my head that we were real soulmates, if such a thing existed. We met when we were so young, and I've only truly ever loved you. I know it's silly, but I hate that it's not true. I didn't even like Viktor that much."
Ron ran his fingers through her hair and rubbed her back comfortingly. "Maybe it was a mistake or something. You said yourself you only saw one word."
Her breathing started calming down. "I-I suppose that's true."
"We know what happens when a charm or prophecy is misinterpreted."
She sniffled. "It would be nice to know."
Ron gave her a squeeze. "Maybe we should sneak in there tomorrow and take a look."
"We can't just sneak in there! I'm the Minister of Magic! Besides, there was a key to get into the room. I don't know how we're going to get it from the Archivist."
"You're the Minister of Magic. I'm sure you could come up with some reason to be there."
She gave him a dirty look. "I'm not abusing my position like that."
"I don't mind abusing my position, as you put it. Maybe I can say I'm researching something for a case."
"No, Ron. What if you get in trouble?"
"Who am I going to get in trouble with? Harry? You?"
"That's not the point. We swore we'd never take advantage of our roles for our own gain."
He sighed. "Fine, you're right. Sneaking in it is, then. It'll be like the good old days! A secret mission, breaking into places we have no business being in. An ill-formed plan. It'll be fun."
She smacked him on the arm. "Those days were terrible."
"Aren't you curious though, to find out the truth?"
"Of course I want to know the truth! I don't want to go through the rest of my life thinking Viktor was my soulmate, when it's clearly you."
"As sweet as that is, we clearly only have one choice."
Hermione shook her head. "Fine."
"Good, things like this are much easier when you're agreeable to them," he smirked, nudging her playfully. "You said 3:00 PM was when it was empty, right? Meet me in my office tomorrow at 2:55 PM, and we'll head down there. I'll just tell Harry we're going to a broom closet or something."
"Ron!" Hermione screeched. "You'll do no such thing."
"It's perfectly plausible. It's not like we haven't done that before."
She blushed, unable to count the number of times they'd had fun at the Ministry. "Alright, fine. 2:55PM at your office."
"Good. Now, I'm starving. I'll whip up one of your favourites. I bet I'm a better cook than ol' Vicky. What do Bulgarians even eat?"
"Not funny, Ron."
~*~
The next afternoon, Hermione was found pacing in front of Ron and Harry's office, much to the fear of the recruits who were stationed outside the door. It wasn't often the Minister of Magic would show up unannounced, muttering under their breath.
The door swung open and Ron sauntered out, his lips upturned in a smug smile. Harry's face had gone a shade of green from what he'd just heard from his best mate.
"Hi, er, Hermione," Harry greeted her awkwardly. "You two… um… have fun."
Mortified, Hermione could only return a quick wave before grabbing Ron's arm, hauling him toward the lifts before she was forced into any further interactions with Harry.
"I honestly can't believe you told him we were going to go shag."
"I literally told you I was going to say that."
"I didn't think you actually meant it." She let out an exasperated snort and pinched the bridge of her nose as they entered the lift. "What's the plan?"
"Plan?"
"You are the Head Strategist of the Auror department. Surely you must have thought of something!"
Ron shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "We'll make it up as we go. Seems to work best for us."
"I don't like this one bit."
The ding of the bell signalled they had arrived.
Ron clasped her hand, their fingers entwining. "Let's do this."
The doors opened and they were greeted with utter silence. It was as if the entire floor was abandoned, which it likely was.
They crept forward, trying to make as little noise as possible before finally reaching the same spot she had been the previous day.
Hermione turned the handle of the door, and to her surprise, it was unlocked.
"Hey, look at that!" Ron exclaimed loudly.
"Ron," she hissed. "Keep on the lookout."
He nodded and stood in front of the armour blocking the door, ensuring that Hermione couldn't be seen, in case they were interrupted.
Hermione took a deep breath, her heart pounding. Whatever it said under the cover wouldn't change anything between herself and Ron, but she needed to know for sure.
Her fingers paused for a second, lightly gripping the frail corner, her body tense. She delicately opened the book, the bright red ink bursting into view, almost glowing in the small, dark chamber.
Her greedy eyes flew over the words that were revealed.
"I knew it," she whispered.
Ron suddenly poked his head in. "Everything alright?"
"Perfect. Everything's perfect and wonderful!" Her giddiness couldn't be contained as she closed the ancient text.
"I guess this means you aren't going to chuck me?"
"Never."
"What's it say?"
Her pink cheeks were starting to hurt from her wide grin. "Your soulmate will first love, then hate, a Mr. Viktor Krum."
"That confirms it. See, nothing to worry about."
"Oh Ron, I'm so relieved. I knew it couldn't be true. This whole thing is ridiculous, but I'm still glad to know it's always been you."
Ron nodded. "Me too."
"We should leave before we get caught."
"Not so fast, it's my turn now."
"What?" Hermione asked sharply. "What do you mean?"
He shrugged. "Might as well take a look while I'm here."
Hermione stepped back, biting at her bottom lip—a sure sign of anxiety. "But… but… what if—"
Ron cupped her cheeks in his large hands and gently kissed her. "It doesn't matter what it says, I love you and only you. Trust me."
She nodded, before resuming his place as the lookout.
After a moment, she heard him chuckle and close the door behind him.
Hermione whispered urgently. "What did it say?"
"It said my soulmate will be a nightmare."
Hermione let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "Thank goodness. I don't think I would've been able to handle it if it wasn't me."
"It's always been you. I thought you'd have learned by now."
"I know, I never should have doubted it."
"Can you imagine if we'd learned this information when we were younger? We might have been able to get together much sooner," Ron remarked.
"Or we'd have made an even bigger mess of things."
"True. It doesn't matter in the end though, does it? We figured it out and we've done pretty damn well for ourselves."
"We have, Ron. I love you."
"Love you, too. We'd better get out of here before someone sees us."
The two quickly retreated to the lift, having successfully completed their mission. A minute after the doors had shut on the snogging couple, an old man slowly made his way toward the chamber and pulled a small key out of his robes, locking the heavy door.
As it's appointed guardian, he had vowed to never look in the book, and he had kept that oath. That didn't mean he couldn't use it's power in other ways. Past Ministers, those inquisitive few who had the intelligence to understand the book's worth, often revealed something in that moment when he checked the parchment, for good or ill. Usually it mattered little to him, but not in this case.
He paused for a moment, before extracting a small glass sphere from the same pocket as the key. A sphere he'd kept with him for many years, since he was a young man working with prophecies in the Department of Mysteries. Knowing Minister Granger-Weasley was coming to take a tour was the perfect opportunity to solve a mystery he'd been researching for the better part of seven decades.
He held it up to the light, the familiar swirls of mist dancing in the globe. He had long since memorized the prophecy, which had been made by a seer almost a hundred years earlier. His colleagues at the time had dismissed it, because like many visions, it was almost impossible to determine what the seer was referring to.
He had kept this one, for it always gave him hope. He never thought he'd actually solve it. Yet here he was, still alive and able to record this last surviving prophecy in the annals of history.
He turned it over in his hands, the glass still unblemished.
"Magic," he whispered, "such a wonderful tool."
He stared at it again, reciting for the last time the fates encompassed within.
"Two soulmates, brown and orange, will form a triangle with black to defeat evil. Through many trials the two will forge a love so strong it will be unbreakable, and their strength will reshape the world."
He let out a final chuckle, his long-held desire now confirmed by the soulmates themselves. He lifted the glass to his lips, his breath fogging up the shiny surface.
"Prophecy fulfilled."
The sphere melted away into nothing, the outcome recorded somewhere else in the archives. He shuffled away back to his office, his eyes sparkling, and his heart lifted with hope.
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galactic-magick · 3 years
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As Long As I’m With You: Agnes/Agatha Harkness x Reader
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Request: Hi, can you please do where Agnes (a villain) saves fem reader's life because she has feelings for her? In the end they end up together // also took some ideas from this request
Summary: You’re accused of witchcraft in your village, and a mysterious beautiful witch comes to your aid.
Words: 2200+
Warnings: fem reader, Agatha is low key evil so she hurts some people, a swear word, reader has an angsty past
Author’s Notes: This can be read as either a standalone fic or as a prequel to my other fic “Spell Practice.” I took quite a lot of creative liberty with this, hopefully that’s alright. Also disclaimer I am in no way a history expert so even though this is set in like the 1500s-1600s it’s probably very inaccurate, but it’s fanfic so anything goes right?
Taglist: @nyx-aira​ @midnight-lestrange​ @thestrangeundoing​ @thegayances @sleep-deprived-athlete @dr-robotnik-said-hella​ @fallingfor-fics @p-nymph​ @thelanawinterrs @sunproud​ (if your tag didn’t work it might be bc your blog isn’t searchable so make sure that’s on so you’re notified of future fics!)
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You had no idea how much your life would change when you left your house that day.
It started out with a simple run to the market and the garden to get what you needed for supper that night, a job that almost always falls to you. You don’t necessarily mind getting away from your family and talking to some people in town, but it’s clear that your family doesn’t want you in the house as much as possible either.
It’s gotten to the point where they’re just looking for a reason to get rid of you. You’re a disappointment, after all. You refuse to marry in order to help your family’s status, even though you’ve gotten a couple offers. You counter your parent’s rules and ideas every chance you get, no matter how much they tell you you’re crazy. They belittle you constantly, saying your dreams are worth nothing and you’ll have to be dependent on them forever if you never submit to the role in society you’re supposed to.
Obviously bullying you out of their lives wasn’t working, so they’ve moved on to spreading rumors about you and setting you up for crimes. None have worked yet, of course, but every day you fear they’ll get too close.
Until you get burned at the stake, though, they’ve given you basically every responsibility of the house. You do all the shopping, cooking, and farming, as well as taking care of your younger siblings. You wonder what they’d do without you, despite how much they seem to want you gone.
As you’re buying a few crops and eggs from your neighbors, you swear you see something move. You turn around and see a little boy floating in the air, screaming.
You drop everything in your arms and reach up to him, trying to grab him and help him down, but he keeps flailing, and his screams start to feel directed at you.
“Hey! It’s okay! Let me help you!” you hold your hand up, speaking as calmly as you can. “I’m not going to hurt you,”
“WITCH!” a man yells as he sees you. “SHE’S A WITCH!”
Everyone around turns and watches you.
“No! No! I’m not the one doing this! I’m trying to help!”
“Let him down and maybe we’ll wait to kill you til tomorrow!” someone else demands.
A couple people march towards you to grab you, and all you can think to do is start running.
You race out of the center of town into the trees, and about five men chase after you. You keep going until it feels like your legs are going to give out and you can barely breathe, but they keep coming.
“Please! Please stop! It wasn’t me I swear!” you cry. “I don’t know what was happening!”
“Shut up, girl,” one grunts. “Your father always said there was something wrong with you, makes sense that you’re a witch!”
“What’s so wrong about witches?” a female voice calls.
You and the men spin around, trying to figure out where it came from.
Before you can blink there’s purple smoke surrounding you, and the men are thrown against the trees. They’re knocked unconscious instantly, but you remain standing and untouched.
“Who are you?” you ask, your voice quivering.
“Don’t be afraid, my dear,” the smoke starts to fade and you can make out her silhouette, then eventually her face. “I’m here to help you,”
She’s beautiful. You’ve never seen someone that immediately feels so friendly, so different in all the best ways.
“It’s alright to stare, I know I’m quite a sight,” she laughs. “I’m Agatha,”
“I’m Y/N,”
“Ah, yes, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of you,” she smiles. “Everyone in the village can barely stand you,”
“Thanks…?” you’re not sure how to respond, especially after all that just happened. “Wait, if you live in my village, why have I never seen you? And how come you’ve never gotten caught using magic?”
“Memory spells, of course,” she shrugs. “Now, let’s get you somewhere safe, alright?”
You nod, and she wraps an arm around you. She takes you deep into the forest until you reach a small house, the glimmer of the fire peering through the windows.
You settle down on a chair while she makes some tea and food. She offers you a blanket and hands you the cup and plate, sitting down across from you.
“So how long have you been practicing magic?” she asks.
“Oh…I…well actually I don’t know how to use any magic,”
“Really? Why were the witch hunters after you then?”
“I was set up, I think,” you say. “There was a little boy floating in the air, and since I was near him they thought it was me. But I wasn’t doing anything,”
“Well,” Agatha sips her tea. “Sometimes magic can manifest itself subconsciously. Maybe you were doing it but didn’t realize it. It’s quite common,”
“But…how would I have magical powers? I’ve never learned it from anywhere,”
“Some people are just born with the gift,” she grins.
You exhale, thinking over what she said. Could it be true? You’ve been a witch all your life without even knowing it?
 -
 That night, Agatha conjures another bed for you to sleep in. But even though she made it as comfortable as she possibly could, you can’t get a wink of sleep.
You lift off the blanket and wrap it tightly around you, getting up slowly and quietly. You walk outside and sit against a tree, looking up at the stars.
You’re sure your family has heard the news by now. Their disappointment of a daughter is finally gone, accused of witchcraft. It seems that the foreseeable future will be spent with Agatha, the only safe person you have.
You wonder just how much she already knows about you. She mentioned she’s heard people gossiping about you all the time in town, yet she still saved you after hearing all those negative things.
Why is that?
“Can’t sleep?”
You jump at her voice, and she chuckles a bit at your reaction.
“Sorry,” you sigh. “I just have a lot to think about from today, I guess,”
“No worries,” she sits down beside you. “So do I,”
“Agatha,” you say. “Why did you save me?”
“Us witches have to stick together. I saw you were in trouble, so I saved you,”
“But you knew, didn’t you? You’ve known I was a witch long before this, didn’t you?”
“I had my suspicions,” she agrees. “Whenever I heard people talk about you, I figured you weren’t like everyone else. But I didn’t know for sure until today,”
“I wish you had taken me before,” you huff, a few tears falling down your cheeks. “It’s been so bad, Agatha, feeling worthless just because you’re different, everyone hates you…”
She pulls you into her shoulder, letting you cry into it, “I know, dear, I know,”
 -
 It takes you a while to come to terms with your potential powers, but as soon as you’re ready Agatha begins to teach you how to use them. You spend your days studying her spell books and practicing simple spells, most of which you fail at.
She encourages you as much as possible, explaining to you that magic is not something you can learn overnight, sometimes not even over years. She tells you that she’s actually thousands of years old (a surprise to you due to her stunning looks) and she’s been practicing for much of that time, and there’s still some spells she hasn’t mastered.
Your impatience still gets the better of you most days, though. You can’t imagine waiting several centuries to get something to work, if you get it to work at all.
One day you’re sitting at the table, trying out a simple transfiguration spell. You wave your hand repeatedly at a potato, hoping to turn it into an apple. It doesn’t even wobble, not even a single spark, but you’ve been sitting here for hours and don’t want to give up just yet.
You nearly fall asleep from exhaustion when all of a sudden it happens. It works.
There’s an apple in front of you. Not a potato, an apple.
“Holy shit!” you scream. “Agatha! I did it!”
You run over to her and point at your small accomplishment.
“Look at you go, darling!” she smiles, hugging you. “At this rate you’ll be changing rocks into cats before you’re 200!”
You laugh, “Oh come on, this is literally just one of the beginner spells,”
“So what? That’s where everybody starts,”
You break out in giddy excitement again, jumping up and down a bit and looking back and forth just to make sure your creation is still there.
Without thinking, you kiss Agatha quickly on the lips.
She stares at you, mouth open.
Before you can apologize, she grabs your face and kisses you hard. She’s everything you’d imagined and more, soft and warm but with a spark you can’t ignore.
When you finally break apart, her hands linger, brushing across your features and in your hair, “I’ve been waiting to do that,”
 -
 Things change after that, but in only the best ways.
Agatha isn’t just your mentor anymore, the only friend who came to your aid.
She’s your everything now, a soulmate, your home.
You tell her all about your life, and she tells you all about hers. As she has significantly more stories to tell, you’ll fall asleep many nights to her whispering all the legends she lived through that no one else knows are true.
She makes you laugh every day, and makes sure you always know how much she cares about you. There’s only so much you can do in your hidden home in the woods, but with magic the possibilities are endless and she’s never short of romantic ideas.
Tonight you find yourself lying your head in her lap while she plays with your hair, close to the fire so you can watch the little shows she creates with the flames.
“What about love?” you ask.
“What about it?”
“Out of all the stories you’ve told me, you’ve never mentioned being in love before,”
“Well,” she sighs. “That’s because I haven’t been,”
“Why not?”
“It’s just never appealed to me,” she says. “Until I met you,”
“Oh,” you grin, looking up at her.
She leans down to kiss you, but you’re broken apart by a loud noise outside.
You shoot up, looking at Agatha in pure panic. Your heart races as the noise gets louder and louder, eventually leading to shouting and knocks at the door.
“WE FOUND YOU!” a booming voice yells.
“Aggie?” you whisper. Everything crumbles around you. Your perfect, happy life, now about to be stolen from you. You have no idea how they found you, if you are about to be dead, if you’ll be able to defend yourself at all.
She kisses you and stands up, “Stay here. I’ll take care of it,”
With a fling of her fingers the door flies open, and the torches the townspeople are holding are burnt out. She smirks, purple smoke covering the area as she goes through them one by one, some just throwing to the side and others suffering a painful death.
She turns their own weapons against them, their own people against them, and makes them regret everything they’ve ever done.
When she returns to you, you’re still in so much shock and panic you couldn’t tell exactly what she was doing.
“Did you…kill all of them?”
“They got what they deserved for threatening us,” she says nonchalantly. “But we’re not safe here anymore. It’s time to find somewhere new,”
“Okay,” you nod as she pulls you against her. “As long as I’m with you,”
“I’ll always protect you, even when you learn enough to protect yourself,” she kisses your forehead. “Always and forever,”
 APPROXIMATELY FOUR CENTURIES LATER
 “I’m back, darling!” Agatha calls, shutting the door behind her.
“How’d it go?” you run to her, grabbing her hands.
“Splendid, that poor Wanda already loves her new neighbor!”
“Wow,” you giggle. “You know I must say, this whole living in a sitcom thing isn’t that bad, you look gorgeous in that 50s dress,”
“Oh darling, somehow after all this time you still flatter me,” she pretends to fan herself. “I have to go back over real quick, alright? Gotta give her this spicy magazine,” she holds her hand up in the air and magically forms one in her grasp.
“Ah! Be sure to get some ideas to use on me when you get back,” she laugh.
“Oh I will honey,” she winks, kissing you before going out the door.
You settle on the couch, looking around at your home. Out of all the places you’ve moved to together, this was by far the weirdest. There’s no color, and everyone besides you and Agatha and Wanda are under some kind of mind control.
You never imagined that day all those years ago would bring you here, spending your life with a beautiful witch and being her partner in all things, even sinister ones. But you wouldn’t have it any other way, and you know this strange town will only bring you more opportunities to practice your magic and help Agatha with her plans.
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ivyaugustetc · 3 years
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the dead poets at hogwarts: a headcanon from hell
@aedan-mills @charlie-dalton-simp @pretentious-strikes YOU ENCOURAGED THIS BEHAVIOR SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. also i love you a lot but THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.
also @aedan-mills i found out that some of the wand stuff is related to their birthdays and i am much too lazy to look all that up and figure it all out, but anyone else is welcome to lmao. sorry to disappoint but alas it's summer and i don't want to research that much. but other than that, please listen to me flex my extensive knowledge on harry potter :)
neil (half blood): i'm sorry,,,, can you say gryffindor? this boy would get up there and in a second the sorting hat would have him all figured out: big dreams with the will to pursue them, but not ambitious enough to step over others to achieve said dreams? sounds like a gryffindor to me. i just know he'd thrive at hogwarts, probably going on to play quidditch (def a chaser) and would excel in charms class. as far as pets go, i feel like he'd stay simple and classy with a chill barn owl he'd name after a famous broadway actor. he would kind of be a mix of james and remus, in which he's wild and crazy but still manages to get good grades. the teachers love him simply because they don't know much about him outside of class. he would absolutely LOVE going to hogsmeade and going batshit crazy at zonko's and honeydukes. he'd have a whole phase where he gets addicted to licorice wands and everyone else thinks they're disgusting but he simply cannot buy enough of them. he'd play a bunch of zonko tricks on the rest of the poets, saving the most harsh for charlie and the most wholesome for todd <3
todd (muggle born): ugh see i can see him being both a hufflepuff and a ravenclaw, but my heart says hufflepuff so i'm gonna go with that. he would absolutely HATE the sorting ceremony with a burning passion. getting up in front of everybody only to have a hat judge u??? no thanks. HAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM ON A BROOM. i can't either because he would simply never get on one, probably referring to them as "flying death traps" more often than not. "hey todd, you think about joining quidditch?" "no thanks, i'd rather keep my limbs intact ;)". but he would love muggle studies a lot, even if the teacher was boring as hell. snape would scare the hell out of him for sure, resulting in his lowest class being potions. he would excel in classes that are more learning out of the book rather than in practice. for a pet, he'd want something that could not possibly turn on him and would just be sweet and loving, so ima give him a toad :) he'd name it something fancy and british, like nigel or sumn. and because of nigel, he'd love chocolate frogs because hey they're twins!!
fanon knox (pure blood): hogwarts fuck boy. okay well maybe not f boy but like...his favorite part is the fact that this is a co-ed school rather than an all-boys school so he can spy on both genders equally yknow. hmm i get hufflepuff vibes from him because he's a big romantic, sucker for cute relationships, etc. he would enjoy whichever class his current crush is in, although I feel like he'd do well with classes that involved spells and wand work mostly lmao. he'd want a really fucking cute pet, so i'd give him a kneazle (it's like a cat but a bit more lion like). he'd give it a strong sounding name, something german idk. but he'd love the shit out of that kneazle, i can tell you that much. i feel like he'd try out for quidditch his first few years, not make it on, and then make it on to the team around fourth year and somehow end up team captain in seventh (and that proves kids, that you too can have a redemption arc in sports). as far as candy goes, ima say he likes the super sour candy like acid pops n shit. like i feel like the others would dare him to each as much sour candy as he can and then he wouldn't be able to taste for a week. but he'd think it was worth it :)
cameron (muggle born): good god this boy just wants to learn. magic just fascinates him, what with growing up in a big muggle family (bestie he is the weasleys if they were all type a). he's a ravenclaw, no questions asked. he would love classes involving preciseness and attention, things like potions and transfiguration. i feel like he'd have a cute, stable relationship along the way ofc because he deserves so much love and happiness and UGH he's a baby. he'd stick with a lil ginger cat, naming it after one of the famous wizards he's read about. he would love spending christmas at the school and going places when the ground are nearly empty, enjoying the scenery. for candy, he'd go plain and simple with chocolate frogs. can't go wrong with those. he'd still have fun with his friends, but he'd skip a lot of parties for some studying (don't judge, i do it too lmao). would not play quidditch but would enjoy it, end of story.
charlie (pure blood): slytherin. don't dispute it. think the weasley twins but even more flirtatious. he would be a regular at every single party that happened, flirting with the guys and gals shamelessly and drinking butterbeer like it was water. look me in the eye and tell me he would not absolutely fucking HATE GILDEROY LOCKHART WITH EVER FIBER OF HIS BEING. he'd do spot-on impersonations of him though. teacher's worst enemy. like when he walks into class on the first day, every teacher collectively mutters "bloody hell not this kid again". asks the most incredibly stupid questions ("okay but is there a spell to turn my eyebrows green? just the eyebrows though, not my hair"). he would be the most aggressive beater on the slytherin team, though he would never deliberately try to hit someone, just distract the shit out of them ("put the fear of god in them and fate will do the rest"). he'd want a loud, aggressive pet but he'd probably end up with a mean cat that hisses at everyone. he'd give it the most adorable name that just. does not fit the personality. something like priscilla. for candy, he'd take his chance with bertie botts' every flavour beans and just roll with the punches. he's chaotic like that.
pitts (half blood): ASTRONOMY IS HIS JAM. he fucking loves that class. he tutors the entire ravenclaw house in that class. he's the guy that little first years who are terrified of the class go to when they're completely lost and don't understand what's going on. besides that, i feel like he'd just be everyone's cool older brother yknow? like he'd be in charge of helping all the first years figure out where stuff is and giving them advice to help them and stuff. he would be a die-hard quidditch fan although he would not play the sport (maybe recreationally on the weekends and holidays and stuff, but the fact that it's so fucking dangerous just does not appeal to him). he'd like the candy that does tricks and stuff, like fizzing whizbees and stuff. he gives me charlie weasley vibes, where he's hardcore in certain areas (in his case, astronomy) and just flipping chill in anything else. cool older brother vibes, man. it fits.
meeks (half blood): i've said it once and i'll say it again: nonproblematic ginger dumbledore. also a hufflepuff <3 this dude just wants to fucking coast along, getting good grades and not participating in the dumb shit that could probably get him killed (even though he would in a heartbeat if his friends were in danger. duh). he'd be a teacher's favorite, probably having conversations with his favorite teachers during free time. okay ik this isn't technically at school, but i swear to god he would be dumbledore one day. like he would be the chill ass headmaster who gets shit done while also being very la di da life is nice flowers are pretty type of person. that being said, his favorite candy is and has been lemon drops ever since dumbledore got him addicted to them. his favorite classes would be potions (he'd surprisingly get along well with snape) and he'd just be great and mixing shit right and just knowing how much of stuff to add in ("how much powdered root do i add?" "about three and a half shakes." "that's not a measurement, meeks." "*shrug* it works"). he'd stick with his small friend group and love them to death, but he'd be a friend to all really. he'll help anyone that comes to him asking for help with homework (and though he won't admit it, he gets super prideful when it's someone a few years ahead of him).
stick (muggle born): harry potter if harry potter could've been more harry potter. like he would just be a part of everything and end up being part of some prophecy that demands he'd save the world and at first he'd be like HEY i'm just a small boy but then he'd grit his teeth and finesse the shit out of this preventing the end of days stuff. he'd definitely be a gryffindor, and fucking proud of it. he'd be the seeker on the quidditch team because he is so short and small and yeah he'd fucking kill it there. he'd kind of be the shy one no one expected much from, but once he starts absolutely wrecking the shit out of the other houses' quidditch teams, he'd become sorta popular? like people would invite him to parties and stuff and he's too nice to say no, but he'd mostly just hang around the outskirts, saying hi to the other poets if he saw them and mostly talking to chris and ginny (danburry, not weasley). he'd like defense against the dark arts and minerva mcgongiall would become his literal mother i can't explain it. he'd have an owl as a pet and treat it like it was his own child, telling it thank you every time it brought his mail or took his mail. as for candy, he'd like drooble's bubble gum because the bubbles are all magic and shit and i just feel like that would make him so happy <3
chris (pure blood): the older sister lesbian <3 she'd be a sweet hufflepuff who would be friends with everyone while also being the greatest socialite the school has ever seen. you know that party that practically the entire school attended and talked about for months on end? she planned that shit. she'd be like pitts in the respect that she'd help all the first years find their way in the school and in life in general. she's just such a warm and kind person that everyone would love her. she's have a little pink pygmy puff to match ginny's purple one, and she'd give it such a perfect, human name like lila or something. she'd be great at muggle studies and all the teachers would love her. also every one is so invested in her relationship with ginny it's adorable. he favorite candy is acid pops even though they make her eyes water like crazy. she'd make pretty good grades, every once in a while getting one slightly lower than she'd expected, but she always manages to bring them up to her satisfactory level :) she would not play quidditch, but she would go all out to support ginny, even though they're in different houses. that's what i call love, baby.
ginny (half blood): the mom lesbian <3 she's a ravenclaw and also one of the sweetest people in the whole school. while chris helps other with the social aspect, ginny will help anyone in any subject they need help with (she and meeks are a help duo on this). she's quieter and less social than chris, but she's one of the best chasers the ravenclaw quidditch team has ever seen. she'd end up team captain by fifth of sixth year. she'd be like oliver wood in that she is sO invested in the team's success that at sometimes she'll go a bit crazy, but chris is always there to help her put things back into perspective <3. she'd make stellar grades of course, being good friends with all of her teachers. her favorite candy would be the sweetest things like fairy floss. as previously stated, she'd have a purple pygmy puff to match chris's pink one, and she'd also give it an adorable human name like lisa or something. ginny's just sweet to everyone, especially neil and his friends.
I DID IT. IT TOOK FOREVER AND A FEW HAIL MARYS BUT I DID IT. enjoy besties <3 love u all
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beyondspaceandstars · 3 years
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While You Sleep
Chapter 18
Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: angst Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.
A/N: so sorry I’ve been slow with updating Tumblr - my blog was shadowbanned (basically Tumblr hid my blog in searches, notifications, tags, etc.) and it just got fixed so I’m working to update here!
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
“You’re back,” Dr. G smiled as you plopped down in the seat across from her. 
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and instead forced a tight smile. “I’m back,” you confirmed with a dramatic nod for emphasis. You didn’t know why you were feeling so hostile. You had shown up here willingly this time. 
Bucky didn’t even know you were seeing your therapist again. But it wasn’t exactly like he was around to find out. He had left for his mission yesterday in the very early morning and you were now on constant edge. You didn’t know what he would encounter. You knew none of it was at your clearance level seeing as you had no government clearance level to begin with but still… You didn’t like that anything that went wrong would come back to you in the depths of your sleep. Even if Bucky had shared everything step-by-step, any mishap was another blow. Even if everything went right, you feared you were bound to see something. 
“Would you like to share anything?” Your therapist asked, disrupting your spiraling thoughts. It was like she knew and, well, maybe she did. You really did kind of suck at hiding your emotions. You could practically feel your face darkening with worry. 
“Bucky and I learned something about us recently,” you said a bit nervously but Dr. G nodded in encouragement. You tried to steady your breathing and continued, “Our soulmate bond has been disrupted. It happened when he was part of Hydra — I mean, not like part of. That makes it sound like he joined willingly which he absolutely did not—,”
Your therapist said your name sharply, cutting off your words. “I know what you meant,” she said.
You nodded briefly, recomposing yourself, and began again, “While under Hydra, he was brainwashed and in that process, they thought they had rid him of his soulmate. But, turns out, all they were doing was tampering with the transmission lines. This means any sort of trauma or… or really emotional occurrences in Bucky’s life gets passed along to me, intercepting any, well, normal dreams. And there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“Nothing?”
You glanced away. “Well, I’ve asked him to retire to maybe… minimize the damage.”
Dr. G nodded as she scribbled something on her notepad. She let out an interesting hum. “How did Bucky respond to that?”
You fought back the urge to roll your eyes. You weren’t really upset with him, more angered by the situation. “It took him a second to come around to the idea and, sure, eventually he did but then he was given another mission. A mission he couldn’t turn down.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
Another feeling of annoyance flashed across you at the cliche therapist speak but you could also recognize the question for its worth. Someone was actually asking you how you felt about the new, and last, mission. Lord knows Bucky hadn’t.
You bit your lip, feeling tears already threatening to run down your cheeks. “It made me feel bad, to put it simply. I just felt horrible and scared. I know that with time it’ll go away and maybe we’ll find some peace but I’m just really hurt it has to be this way.”
More notes were scribbled. “How did Bucky react to hearing that?” Dr. G asked without looking up. You shifted awkwardly in your seat, fiddling with your fingers out of habit. Your therapist glanced up once her writing has finished. Her brows raised as you struggled to find an answer.
“He doesn’t really know.”
Your therapist placed her pen on her notepad and leaned forward in her chair, eyeing you a bit upsettingly. “Do you remember what I told you during your last session?”
Talking. Talking, talking, talking. Just let it out. How could you forget? That’s exactly what you had done and while it made some kind of progress, you were still stuck at this godforsaken dead end for the time being. 
You picked at the chair cushion. “He didn’t ask,” you sighed. “Besides, what good was it going to do? I couldn’t have stopped the mission.”
Dr. G shrugged. “No, I doubt you could’ve, but that’s not the point. The point is you’re hurting and your soulmate needs to know this, especially when it involves him. You can’t beat around the bush or try to sidestep this kind of stuff. Be gentle, yes, but little progress can be made if everything is bottled in.”
“Well, doc, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I’m sure he knows very well how I feel about all of this,” you snapped back. “Think I made myself super clear during our first conversation about retirement.”
“Fine,” she shrugged. “Assume he did. Assume Bucky knew everything that was going through your mind. Did it open any conversation?”
Your shoulders slumped. You looked away. 
Dr. G continued, “My point exactly. Of course, you don’t want to hurt him but you can’t hurt yourself in the process. How many people actually knew about the nightmares to begin with?”
“None,” you mumbled. And it was, sadly, the truth. Your coworker was the first to know. You hadn’t even had the guts to tell your parents. 
“I’m sure I make it sound easier than it really is but there are some benefits to it over time,” your therapist said after a moment. 
You let out a dramatic sigh. “You’re kind of annoying, you know that?”
Your therapist laughed. “You’ve been wanting to bite back for a while, haven’t you?” You didn’t answer. She shrugged. “Already testing out those communication skills I see.”
You let yourself roll your eyes this time.
***
It was nearing midnight when your cell phone rang. You jumped, suddenly disturbed by the ringtone as you laid on your couch watching some sitcom reruns. You frowned in confusion as you stretched to reach your phone on the coffee table. You weren’t expecting any calls.
You turned the screen around and were greeted by one name: Bucky. You just about yelped when it registered he was calling you -- and from his mission, amazingly. You sat up quickly and answered.
“Hi, Buck,” you greeted, hopefully sounding a bit more cheerful than you felt. Your therapy session from the morning still had you a bit shaken. 
“Hey, doll,” Bucky responded, his voice a bit hoarse. He sounded exhausted and...defeated. 
You sink into the couch. “Is everything going okay?” You guessed it wasn’t too weird he was reaching out while away but something was off in his voice. You thought you had already mentally prepared for the worst.
“For the most part,” he mumbled. “I have to tell you, sweetheart, it wasn’t smooth sailing. We… We all had to do some things we aren’t proud of.”
You shut your eyes, trying to reel in your panicked brain before you said something you’d regret. This couldn’t all fall on Bucky, it wasn’t fair. He had a job, one final job, and you were going to have to accept that. 
Regaining your voice, you said, “What… What things, Bucky?”
He fell silent on the other end. All you could hear was some soft breathing and others talking in the background. The rest of the team you could guess. You said his name into the receiver again.
“Just know I didn’t like what I had to do and I can’t wait to put this life behind me.”
If that was all you were getting from him, you’d have to accept it. “Okay,” you said, your voice cracking slightly. “I-I understand.” You didn’t really but you knew after tonight you definitely would.
Bucky took another pause. “You deserve so much better than this.”
“Bucky-,”
“You really do, sweetheart.”
“Bucky, please, listen,” you sighed. “While this isn’t ideal and I was very upset you just jumped on this assignment without speaking to me, I know it won’t be like this forever, right? 
“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about the assignment before leaving,” Bucky responded. “I-I knew I couldn’t do anything about it but that’s still not fair to you. You deserve to be heard.”
“It’s okay, honey,” you said, fighting back some tears getting ready to start again. “You’re almost done, you’re almost back home.”
Bucky hummed. “I am,” he confirmed. “And when I get back I’m going to make up for all of this, I promise.”
You let out a weak laugh through the tears. “You can make it up to me by getting home safely.”
Bucky was about to say something else but was then cut off by someone yelling at him in the background. He gave a curt response before turning his attention back to you. “Sorry, doll, but I have to go. We have some debriefing to do.”
“Of course,” you said, waving a hand in the air like he could see you. “I’ll see you soon, alright?”
“See you soon, sweetheart,” he said. “Love you.”
The line cut before you had the chance to say the words back. You held your phone out in front of you, staring at your lit homescreen, shocked and overwhelmed. He loved you. And he had said it.
***
You were dreading getting ready to go to sleep but, at the same time, your body was practically begging for it. You were finally getting back into the swing of working and now with therapy sessions on top, you couldn’t believe how exhausting life was. As if you had forgotten at some point. 
But with that craved moment of relaxation, an unnerving threat lurked. 
You practically moved with caution when it came to your nighttime routine now. You washed your face carefully and precisely. You scrubbed every tooth again and again for a good minute. Even combing out your hair seemed to be tedious. 
It was all sad attempts at procrastination and you knew it but what could you do? It wasn’t like you were jumping into bed happily no matter how much your body screamed. 
When there was no more to do in your routine, you had to accept it. You had to finally lay down in your bed, let your head hit the pillow, curl up under the duvet, and welcome whatever kind of sleep was going to greet you. 
Almost immediately, you were hit with everything.
As always, you’re seeing it in glimpses from Bucky’s eyes, from his mind. In this instance, he appears to be located in some kind of warehouse. It almost reminded you of where you had been taken to but abandoned.
At first, Bucky seems pretty calm and collected. He’s assessing his surroundings and mapping out a plan. He says something to the person next to them. You can’t see them and possibly you don’t want to. 
They agree with whatever Bucky has suggested but before their plan can commence, they’re both attacked. Guns blazing, doors busting, a whole goddamn ambush. You’re panicking, you feel Bucky panicking. But it doesn’t last long for him. No, within seconds he’s in destruction mode, stomping towards the pop-up army - you don’t even know what they’re part of - dodging bullets and taking them down one by one. 
Some others are helping out it seems but you’re only allowed to be consumed with Bucky’s take on the situation. Despite how much you don’t want to be, especially when he… You see the glint of his metal arm rush past. They’re dying. Being killed. These soldiers or whatever are dropping left and right around him. You feel Bucky’s pulsing anger. He has no plans of slowing down. You feel the tension in his arm as he strangles another and another and another. At one point, he even throws some across the room.
They’re finished. No more men pour in. The rest of the team has stopped. They’re all looking at Bucky, wide-eyed and nervous. You feel his fury turn to shame. You didn’t know the mission’s expectations but you could guess they didn’t exactly involve this much death. No one says anything as they move on. 
The images fade but the feelings don’t. You suddenly want to cry in your sleep feeling Bucky’s distraught and embarrassment. 
Unable to deal with it anymore, you force yourself awake, everything vanishing as your eyes open. You look around your dark room. The clock beside your bed reads just past three a.m. 
You curl back into your blanket and face the wall. You stare at it for the rest of the night, heart pounding and hands shaking.
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spaghettidrawing · 3 years
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Alright, I finally took the time to introduce you to my MC named Ania. I would like to tell you few things about her since I am still going to work on her full design and even more on her backstory. Also, this is my first time writing something like this so there is big possibility there are some mistakes and there might be some changes in the future but who knows. Please don’t hate me.
Ania (before and during the Red plague) Before the story took turns in Vesuvia, Ania in her early years spend her life in the hometown with her mother Jane Reityr. Already as a kid she was showing a lot of interest in magic books, wizard stories and cats.
While growing up she would visit her aunt in Vesuvia very often who owned a magic shop. Learning different kind of spells and how to make potions, never learnt how to fly the broom though. After few years she became the owner of the shop instead and moved to Vesuvia, where she met Asra and became friends and roommates with him.
Unluckily when the Red plague started to be a big threat, they ended up in an argument about leaving the Vesuvia. Ania tried to explain they should not leave, because they are magicians, and they could help or at least try to help the people who were suffering. While Asra being determined that it is too dangerous and practically a suicide. This argument ended up with Asra leaving Vesuvia and Ania trying to find a way to deal with the plague.
In this part of timeline Ania was cheery and confident girl. At the same time she was a bit shy and not sure how to talk to people but after spending some time with them she would try to make everyone laugh with silly jokes or random stories which happened in her hometown. 
She would still prefer just to stay friends with everyone. She didn’t want to let anyone closer because she was afraid of the pain her mother had to go through when she lost her husband. But well, that changed when she met someone special during the plague.
Ania (Amnesiac) When Ania was resurrected all she was, all she knew was gone. Everything was unknown for her, making her scared literally of everything. She would always just hide herself in the blankets or different kind of clothes all the time. Most of her first days or maybe weeks, were just her hiding behind or under the bed. Not wanting to eat or drink. It was like she felt not welcomed? Asra would try to bring her anything to make her feel more comfortable. One time he also brought some papers and pencils. To find out few hours later that Ania draw few scribbles of creepy pictures which looked like suffering souls or ghosts, while whispering weakly: „Home“.
After few months Asra was able to get Ania to move around the town, which never ended up well. Ania would constantly hear people whispering about her. „Wait, I thought she ****?” „Me as well, how is she *****? Didn’t she **** of the plague?” Sometimes while listening to whispers some unknown voice inside her would just scream in unknown language. „* ** *** ****!” Ania would just ran off to some empty streets or just anywhere to escape everything. 
One day she ran to a cloth market by mistake, or maybe to hide herself under sheets again. But in the shop, she started to admire one piece of cloth, the cloaks. The perfect piece of cloth to be able to make her hide from everything all the time. When Asra caught up to her and noticed her admiring he would offer her to buy some for her. But instead Ania would point at the textiles trying to say she would prefer to make her own. After that Asra would try to teach Ania how to sew. First of the cloaks looked terrible of course, but after some tries and practicing, she eventually made her own cloak.
Ania (the main story) When Ania was able to speak properly and take care of herself, Asra would often leave her alone in the shop on her own for his reasons. This would make her character just more closed and not wanting to know anyone much. Still, she had to be somehow friendly for the shop and for the customers so they would be happy to come back. She learned the fake smile technique.
Then one day she met someone who would change everything for her, even though it was in inappropriate way. The time when the fugitive doctor, also known as Julian Devorak broke into her shop, was an important moment. Not just shocking and confusing but also kind of… irritating, and for some reason irritation seemed familiar. This dramatic man who jumps to conclusions and doesn’t even let her finish talking. 
This was the first time something felt familiar to her. Something familiar in a person, something that she might know or understand on her own. True, she was able to understand her magic, but there was still something unknown about it, and this person… 
That was one of the reasons why she wanted to know more about Dr. Devorak. During Julian story Ania would slowly find pieces of her old self and build up her encouragement. Since the care for Julian was more important to her then her insecurity. Plus, that man would constantly get himself in trouble (what a silly).
Alright, I wanna leave it at this. At least for now. How I said I want to work on this more. Plus I wanna put the story into comics sooo… Truth is comics are complicated and takes time so who knows how long that is gonna take… BUT I WONT GIVE UP! Anyway I hope you guys enjoy this, I know its not the best written thing you read. I am sorry for my English and… yeeea. If you have some tips please let me know. Thanks!
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kantrips · 3 years
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Alistair & Celia Headcanon Collection
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Some Amell x Alistair (largely fluff) headcanons! Includes some from Origins, Warden time at Amaranthine and the Inquisition-era. Some of these I have had since my first playthrough, but others I may have read elsewhere, loved and thusly absorbed so please let me know if I can link anyone!
Origins
The first time they meet at Ostagar, Celia thinks Alistair is the most fascinating person she has ever encountered because no one in the Circle had a particularly boisterous sense of humour. Alistair is oblivious to her heart eyes, and also holds back because he’s worried she won’t survive the Joining.
Even after the Joining, Alistair tries very hard not to ~feel feelings~ despite the clear signals Celia is hurling at him because he assumes she won’t like him once she gets to know him more/she will get bored of him/ she will leave like everyone else i.e. the boy is hecking damaged.
Celia laughs obnoxiously hard at all Alistair’s jokes because a) she finds them unexpected, and b) because, like a dork, she wants to prove she gets the punch line. Alistair is perplexed by her reactions at first, and cautiously wonders if she is mocking him. Once he realises she is genuinely amused, it bolsters his ego significantly. 
Celia has no concept of personal space and sits and walks very close to everyone. There wasn’t a lot of room at the Circle so she forgets she can spread out. Morrigan makes it clear she needs to back off (Celia doesn’t need telling twice) but Alistair is more relaxed and gets used to it quickly after the confusion of the first night when she blithely sets up her bedroll right next to his. Alistair assumes she is a bit scared of sleeping in the forest but really she is just accustomed to the need to cram as many apprentice bunks into a room as possible.
In a way, Alistair is also used to sharing small spaces (Chantry and Wardens) so it doesn’t bother him at all when Celia chooses to sit pressed against his side, walks so their arms bump together, or unconsciously brushes an eyelash from his cheek. He quickly grows to like her overfamiliarity (for some reason…).
Similarly, Alistair eats Celia’s leftover food if she can’t finish it or doesn’t like it, even before they’re a couple. She just offers one day and after that it becomes a given. The others side-eye them but they are happily oblivious.   
Celia gets in trouble from the rest of the party for getting distracted yelling encouragement and cheering Alistair during combat. In turn, Alistair gets in trouble for turning around mid-battle to thank her when she buffs or heals him. Morrigan advises that if they are both so determined to get killed, she is more than happy to assist with hastening the process.
Celia’s mabari, Trevor, is quickly accepting of Alistair and his proximity to Celia because he observes Alistair protecting Celia in battle and thusly deems him to be a ‘good dog’ and considers that they are equals in the pack.
Alistair and Celia vandalise each other’s wanted posters whenever they come across them. It gets competitive.
Celia doesn’t really want to be in charge of saving the world but has three things working in her favour: 1) she absolutely hates letting people down 2) has an intense need to finish what she starts 3) she is in possession of a bossy streak.
That said she spends the entire Blight screaming internally to an extent not even Alistair fully grasps.
They go to the Circle Tower first, because Celia thinks she will have the best chance of getting help from people she knows and is also ‘homesick’ in the sense that she is very glad to be free of the place, but stressed enough with everything going on to crave something familiar even if she resents it. The events there devastate her. Along with the loss of friends and mentors she has known since childhood, being trapped by herself in the fade particularly terrifies her as she has never truly been alone for so long before in her life. It reminds her of the Harowing which totally blindsided her. She is very teary, untalkative and introspective for some time afterwards, but both Trevor and Alistair have the correct instinct to stay close without trying to interact with her which she finds incredibly comforting.
Accustomed to making potions, Celia will not under any circumstances deviate from a recipe while cooking, whereas Alistair just chucks everything in to use up leftovers and see what happens. Alistair gets meals together super quickly whereas Celia takes forever. A little unfairly, Celia is perceived as the better cook because she produces very consistent meals, while Alistair’s experiments sometimes do work, and sometimes don’t, with people tending to focus on the disasters rather than the successes. Meanwhile Celia is rather: “should I add half a sprig of rosemary? No I mustn’t: it would be far too daring!” so everyone learns to tip their own seasonings into their bowl before even tasting her food.
When they’re travelling and walking for days on end, Alistair and Celia make up a lot of games in the vein of ‘I spy’ and ‘would you rather?’ They can occasionally persuade others to participate though no one enjoys them or gets quite as invested as Celia and Alistair (who are actual children).
A game stops abruptly one day when Celia guilelessly asks if Alistair would rather be Emperor of Orlais or King of Fereldan and he gets extremely defensive and answers, “Neither.” Having no context for this reaction (yet), Celia (a stickler for the rules) pushes him, insisting his answer isn’t allowed and that he’s cheating until Alistair gets grouchy, stomps off and refuses to play anything for days. 
Celia figures he must be overtired, but his unhappy reaction does come back to her later at the Landsmeet and contributes to her already firm resolve not to put him on the throne.
When bored, Alistair also periodically asks Celia to, “Do a trick!” with her magic and she usually obliges with something small and silly which Wynne always scolds them for (but they continue to do anyway).
Celia does not like Eamon one bit and makes it clear from their first meeting. Alistair actually gets a bit annoyed at her because she is polite to 99% of the other people they meet and he can’t understand what her problem is. Celia won’t say because she doesn’t want to drive Alistair away so she remains coldly civil towards Eamon and commences a long, looong process of nudging Alistair towards having the realisation himself that a) Eamon is manipulative, selfish and cruel and b) Alistair deserves better.
Celia wants to collect some of the books they find which is not practical given they are constantly travelling, but Alistair carries as many as he can in his pack and suffers in silence for it, ultimately finding it worth it for her enthusiastic gratitude.
Celia cuts Alistair’s hair and does a very respectable job after weeks of him complaining it’s flopping in his eyes (they used to cut each other’s hair in the Circle). Zevran pretends she did an awful job, gasping in horror at Alistair’s appearance, much to Celia’s ire. Alistair (internally weeping) tries to be brave until he can check his reflection in some plate mail and see it is fine.
Celia is very naïve about how the ‘real world’ works having been at the Circle since she was a child. This is especially evident in Denerim and Alistair has to explain how money works and grab her before she wanders down dicey looking alleyways.
Alistair nearly dissolves into a paroxysm of agony when he points out his favourite type of cheese at the Denerim Markets and (accustomed to the very limited range of bland foods provided at the Circle) Celia innocently asks, “There is more than one type of cheese?” Alistair makes it his mission to educate her. She doesn’t like most of what he feeds her but doesn’t say so to protect his feelings given he seems to take the matter so incredibly personally.
Leliana convinces Celia to sing one evening at the campfire. She’s breathy with a very limited range but manages okay, and Leliana plays and harmonises in support. Watching on with a goofy smile plastered over his face, Alistair comments to the surrounding companions about how talented she is and they’re like “…she’s really not mate.”
When they both wake up from a blightmare (or Celia has one and wakes Alistair with her flailing) they sneak about and eat anything they can find then sit up and have massive deep & meaningfuls (i.e. in the spirit of going for a long drive with a friend or being in the garden with someone outside a party and spilling your guts). Eventually they start blaming the depleted food stores on Leliana’s nug, Schmooples, much to Leliana’s displeasure.
Given Celia usually responds so well to his jokes, Alistair gets a bit peeved when Celia starts replying to some of his more severely self-deprecating humour with an unamused, “No you’re not,” or, “That’s not true.” He defensively argues it’s just a joke, but he does stop doing it so much as time goes on.
Celia is SO excited when Alistair gives her the rose. She never in her life thought she would be the recipient of a proper ~romantic gesture~…however she accidentally sits on the rose about five minutes after she gets it. Celia is devastated. There is a lot of panic and tears and she keeps one petal pressed in a book but has to unceremoniously ditch the rest in secret.
Celia doesn’t tell Alistair about this until years later and she’s terrified he’ll be hurt but he just laughs because he was so worried he was going to be the one to squash it and then she destroyed it basically the minute she got it. Alistair acknowledges it was an impractical gift given their situation. Celia gets mad and says it was a PERFECT gift and is annoyed at how funny he finds it given this has been a crushing, guilty secret hanging over her for years.
Following this, every time Alistair gives her any kind of gift, he can’t help but throw in a ‘Don’t sit on it!” and cracks himself up, especially when Celia gets grumpy about it and accuses him of spoiling the moment. It happens so often that when Alistair chooses a horse for her and plans to teach her to ride, Celia manages to cut him off with, “Yes, I know Alistair: I can sit on this one,” and steals his thunder.
Alistair periodically says Celia’s name just to check if she’ll answer, especially after a long period of quiet or to see if she’s awake à la screaming in the chantry because it’s so silent. When she responds he says, “Nothing” or “Never mind” but he finds it vaguely comforting just to hear her reply and it’s a habit he never loses, even when they have been together for years and he is much less isolated generally. Alistair doesn’t realise he’s doing it, and it never happens frequently enough for Celia to notice: she just assumes he has lost his train of thought.
They sometimes conspire to purposely fall to the back of the group while on the road so that they can hold hands. Everyone knows full well what they are doing, but Alistair and Celia think they are being incredibly ~sneaky~.
The first time they sleep together they laugh. A lot. Before, during and after.
Alistair snores loudly but only when he’s on his back. Celia is used to the noise of people sleeping around her at the Circle so it doesn’t bother her and she doesn’t want to disturb him because she knows he needs the rest.
When they are known to be sharing a tent however, their companions will slap on the walls of it and demand she kick him until he stops snoring. Celia will relent and gently prod and nudge Alistair until he rolls over with a bit of sleepy grumbling.
I think everyone has this headcanon to the point it is basically actual canon HOWEVER I am legally obligated to include it: Alistair is a professional body heat distributor and Celia drastically cuts down on the number of blankets she uses once they are sleeping together. If she stands in front of him on cold days, he understands the non-verbal signal and will automatically wrap her in his cloak.
Also might as well be canon: Alistair likes to be the little spoon. He doesn’t say, but Celia knows.
Decidedly not a fluff one (you can skip to Amaranthine to avoid) but the ritual with Morrigan fairly significantly messes Alistair up (both the act itself and his consideration of the repercussions i.e. Kieran). He’s jubilant and relieved at their victory over the Archdemon, but in the background struggles to process and there is some fallout once the victory celebrations lull and he has time to fully register what happened. Alistair grapples with a lot of guilt, disgust and confusion. He doesn’t know how to express it or where to direct his emotions so it mainly manifests as self-loathing. He wants to talk to Celia about it but can’t articulate his feelings which makes him feel worse.
Celia tries to comfort him, but he needs space on and off for a long while after and she gives him it. She feels a lot of guilt too, and never stops wondering how much it was actually his choice to do the ritual, worrying that she made him feel like he had to do it. Eventually they discuss it openly and honestly, which eases both of their minds somewhat, but it takes a long time to get to a point where they can talk on the subject. Meeting Kieran at Skyhold also helps Alistair down the line, though it’s obviously painful.
Amaranthine & Inquisition
Alistair keeps an eye out for people struggling, especially new recruits who are having trouble fitting in. He takes them under his wing and is very good at building people up and making sure everyone is included. He’ll just start enthusiastically greeting people like they are his best friend and squeezing himself onto the bench next to them at meals until everyone else follows suit.
For recruits that don’t respond well to his ‘mother hen’ type attention, Celia is good at assigning tasks that specifically highlight their strengths and builds their confidence/sense of purpose which also gains them the respect of their peers.
Alistair has been known to stand behind Celia while she is giving mundane orders/making speeches and pull faces or impersonate her, turning stony and impassive when she spins around accusingly because people are laughing.  
But if anyone else talks smack about her he gets very, “Sorry mate, just to clarify was that comment directed at my wife, your Commander, the hERO OF FERELDAN, VANQUISHER OF AN ARCHDEMON!? That’s lucky, I didn’t THINK IT LIKELY. Because that wouldn’t be WISE, would it now?” etc. with some loud, fake laughter and firm backslapping for the worst offenders.
The plan for them to part ways so that Celia can search for a cure goes very badly, especially because Celia (under a lot of stress and not coping™) eventually devolves into, “I’m in charge and I say so,” which is a big betrayal of their agreements both to stay together, and make decisions together on equal footing. She realises this and takes it back but Alistair is demoralised and gives in with a bit of petty, sarcastic reverence e.g. saluting and, “Whatever you say boss, don’t know why I dared to utter an opinion how foolish of me...” so they still part on slightly strained terms, even after later mutually apologising and trying to make the most of their time together before they go.
Both regret the argument during their separation and write horribly soppy letters to each other, but something still feels uncomfortably unresolved until they are together again. They pine. So much. It’s disgusting and cliched. There is considerable sighing and staring at the moon or deep into tankards, very much to the ire of those around them. Alistair can be particularly annoying: “This roll reminds me of my wife...she eats bread sometimes...”
After Celia sends the letter to the Inquisitor, she writes to Leliana directly along the lines of, “I know it was incredibly subtle but I wanted to check: did they get the message? That I will destroy them if Alistair gets hurt?” and Leliana replies in the vein of, “Hon, it wasn’t even remotely subtle ffs…”
When reunited, though ecstatic and nearly delirious with joy and relief, it takes a while to rebuild the trust they once had, especially for Alistair. There’s an unfamiliar awkwardness that flares up unexpectedly, but it doesn’t last and they’re both fully committed to each other and to staying together permanently this time.
Celia and Alistair have a conversation recapping everything that happened while they were apart in which Celia is all, “Poor Hawke. Honestly I’m shocked you didn’t do something obscenely idiotic like try and sacrifice yourself thank the Maker for that…” and Alistair is there, nervously sweating, looking for an exit, loosening his collar etc.
As they settle back into their old routines Alistair will occasionally blurt out things like, “I really like having breakfast with you,” and then berate himself internally for how trite that sounds but Celia replies on cue, “I love waking up next to you and the way you groan when you stretch your back out and the way you check your hair twice before you leave the room and the way you complain if I don’t eat my crusts and the way you still hold my hand when we’re walking...” and basically they’re just blissfully happy being comfortably domestic and even as they get older they are forever just teenagers in love.
The Wardens at Amaranthine acquire/receive a griffon egg and the hatchling imprints on Alistair and decides he is their mother. It can’t cope with separation, crying constantly if Alistair goes out of sight, and won’t let anyone else feed or handle it so Alistair carries them in a sling 24/7. He gets to give orders and run training sessions with the tiny griffon occasionally poking its head out just to glare at everyone.
Whenever the baby griffon squeaks, Alistair automatically replies, “Well said,” or “Excellent point, Ser Beaksly” with a totally straight face.
For the first few months, Celia gets nipped or scratched if she approaches Alistair unless he wraps the griffon up. It so badly wants to fight her. Celia is permitted to sleep in her own bed, as long as the griffon sleeps curled on Alistair’s chest and Celia doesn't try anything outrageous like touching her husband even fleetingly. It gets a little frustrating as the months drag on, but the image of Alistair with the sling over his armour, or with the griffon snuggling possessively around his neck staring daggers at everyone, is so entertaining that Celia can’t get truly annoyed about it. As the griffon gets older it does learn to tolerate other people and becomes more independent but remains very protective of Alistair and favours him above all others. Insert the ‘Ah yes. Me. My husband. And his thousand pound murder-bird-cat child’ meme here.
Modern AU Bonus Round
They share headphones while commuting.
They occasionally end up wearing sort of matching outfits, mostly unintentionally.
They consistently refer to their dog, Trevor, as their son to the point that people who aren’t familiar with them assume that they actually have a child.
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ddarker-dreams · 4 years
Text
Christmas Together / Scarlet Ribbons.
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kicking off the christmas season with some highly indulgent hcs ! i’m also planning to write mini scenarios of getting caught under the mistletoe with each bucci gang member ehehe 
[Scarlet Ribbons description]
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Bruno Bucciarati;
It’s likely that Bruno will be the one you spend your first Christmas in Italy with. He’ll do everything that he can to make it a memorable experience for you, from taking you sightseeing to offering to spend the day together. His emphasis is always on the togetherness the season is meant to bring, so he’ll do what he so you never feel lonely or homesick. 
When you’re dating, he’ll ask to take you to his hometown on the sea during the holiday season. Bruno wants to show you, the most important person in his life, where he had made beloved childhood memories. Of course, this includes treating you to meals and a stay in a luxury hotel. Bruno’s overjoyed to share this aspect of himself with you, an innocence that he long thought departed from him. You get to create new memories and reminiscence on old ones together.
The most likely from everyone here to propose during the holiday season. It feels fitting somehow, after sharing this much about himself and his ideals, that you two could eternally be tied together. Should you say yes, Bruno would obviously be elated, holding you so tight without intending to let go for as long as you should indulge him. Afterward, he’d bring you to the area his father is buried, saying that he’s now in good hands with you.
What Bruno would get you: A ring, whether it be an engagement ring or just a token of his love until you’ll have him as your husband. It’d likely cost a small fortune, a gold twist ring with a diamond in the center. 
What Bruno would like from you: Honestly, this man needs a week or so away. Of course with you to sweeten to deal. Promise him a cruise and he’ll be putty in your hands. 
Giorno Giovanna;
Growing up, Giorno never got to truly celebrate Christmas, only learning about it in school. Due to that, he’s knowledgeable about the holiday but doesn’t feel a real connection to it. His newfound enthusiasm would come from getting to watch you enjoy the various activities. He does his best to create more time in his busy schedule as not to miss out on this time meant to be spent with those dearest to him. 
He would honestly melt if you brought him hot chocolate while he’s working in his office. It’s a small but touching gesture that warms his heart, it feels so surreal to him to have someone who loves him as much as you do. Giorno will invite you to stay with him so that the two of you can sit on the couch together, setting his work aside as he by far favors your company. Might get a bit mischievous and dab away the whipped cream you get on your face, leaning in closer than necessary with a sly smile. 
Gold Experience Requiem is something of a sentient Stand, but still closely reflects Giorno’s wishes that he keeps locked away. While the two of you are walking somewhere, his Stand will imbue life into a nearby object, creating mistletoe that hangs above your heads. Giorno would bashfully apologize for his Stand’s behavior, only to be pleasantly surprised when you go on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He will be thinking about this moment for the rest of the week, god, your lips are so soft and feel so nice.
What Giorno would get you: Everything . No, but really, Giorno is going to want to spoil you even more than usual. You look at something in a window for .00001 seconds and it’s going to be wrapped up and given to you. Somebody stop this man .
What Giorno would like from you: Poor boy probably hasn’t ever gotten a Christmas present before, so anything would touch his heart. Giorno would love anything handmade or with sentimental value. A scrapbook or photos would be treasured. 
Guido Mista;
Mista has honestly never really thought this time of year is anything special, not that he doesn’t enjoy it. He’s just never been big into holidays and stuff. Experiencing all these things with you changes his tune towards it though, it makes it all the more special. Every cheesy couple activity under the sun is going to be done with him, a goofy grin on his face. He’s so in love and can’t wait to make dumb memories together. 
For some reason, he’s oddly determined to make a gingerbread man house with you. The gingerbread man cookies he decorates look a little off, their proportions funny and icing smeared everywhere. If you can’t hold back your laughter at the nightmarish looking creatures, he’s going to smear icing on your face, so beware. Mista will lick it off before running away from your wrath. 
Sex Pistols get included in the celebration too of course. They’d be over the moon should you make cookies that look like them, though if you look away for a second too long, they’re still going to eat them. Most of your cooking consists of Mista trying to shoo away Pistols while you’re doing a majority of the work lmao. Number Five does his best to help! He’ll turn the recipe book’s pages for you and offer to help decorate. It’s super precious. 
What Mista would get you: Ugly sweaters that he thinks are cool looking and literally everything on your wishlist. He spends all day wrapping your dozens of presents with Pistols pitching in.
What Mista would like from you: Mista is an easygoing guy, so he’d love basically anything. Put a bow on your head and say you’re his gift and it’ll really get him going. ; ) 
Pannacotta Fugo;
Fugo doesn’t associate Christmas with warm and fuzzy memories. He remembers all the dreadful socialite parties his parents would drag him to, how he was forced into uncomfortable tuxedos for hours, pretending like they were a happy family. With you in life his now, he’s willing to give it another go, but would need some encouragement. Fugo would only be doing it for your sake since he’s so whipped for seeing you happy. <3
Would love walking hand in hand with you through Via San Gregorio Armeno, taking in the remarkable craftsmanship of the nativity scenes. Fugo will visibly light up at the chance to impress you with his knowledge. He excitedly goes into rambles about the history of various things, from saints to traditions that were born in Naples. He’ll have a cute flush on his cheeks when he finishes speaking, realizing how you’re able to get him to talk so much. It’s precious. 
Fugo is very insistent that you bundle up during this wintery season. Before you leave to go anywhere, he’s mumbling that you’re going to catch a cold, throwing scarves over you. He would never admit it, but the sight of you all bundled up with cheeks flushed from the cold is literally the cutest thing he’s ever seen in his life. Don’t point out his staring, or he’ll get sulky. 
What Fugo would get you: Fugo would fret over getting a gift you’d like. He’d go somewhat old fashioned, getting you a beautiful necklace that has your birthstone in the middle. 
What Fugo would like from you: Attention. No, but really, he loves learning, get him some books on a topic he recently got interested in and he’ll be over the moon. Especially if you write a little note for him, he’d ascend.  
Narancia Ghirgha;
Narancia is practically vibrating in excitement over getting to spend this time with you. He’ll tell you all the stuff he wants to do, enthusiastically waving his arms around, though it’s unlikely you’ll be able to do everything he wants. Narancia is going to be glued to your hip, ready to experience all the mushy couple stuff he can. He’s a bit clingy during this time, but indulge him, he hasn’t had good Christmas memories since his mom was alive and healthy. 
God bless your soul if it snows . You probably already expect as much from him at this point, but he’s going to be throwing snowballs at you, laughing and running around when you pout at him. Narancia has a competitive streak, so throwing them back will incite a wild snowball fight. It’s all fun and games until he breaks out Aerosmith to attack your snow fort, then you’re having to reprimand him for using his Stand. >:((
He’ll tell you what it was like being in a detention center during Christmas, opening up more about his past. While he doesn’t seem to recount the time with obvious pain, you know him well and can tell when he’s hurting. Narancia would honestly consider proposing to you on the spot when you comfort him, saying that he’ll never have to spend this time of year alone now that he has you. It’s a sweet moment that he’ll literally never forget. 
What Narancia would get you: Narancia would spend days making a custom mixtape, full of songs that you both love!!! He’d accompany the CD with bags of candy, bashfully offering to feed it to you. 
What Narancia would like from you: If you wrote a song for him, he would probably cry from happiness. Narancia would be clapping like a madman when you finished singing it, saying it’s the best thing he’s ever heard in his life, and fully meaning it too.
Leone Abbacchio;
From an outsider’s perspective, one might expect Abbacchio to take a Grinch-like approach towards Christmas, but he’s surprisingly fine with it. Aside from loud caroling. He’ll make his displeasure for that known. It’s kind of always been just another month for him, but for your sake, he’ll make an effort to do whatever you please. Abbacchio grumbles as you drag him from place to place, but he’s literally melting on the inside at your cute enthusiasm. :’)
Abbacchio would forever imprint the sight of you in the snow into his memory. He watches the snowflakes dance around you, falling into your hair and glistening beautifully. While you’re going around trying to catch the snow, he allows himself this single happiness, silently wondering if he deserves it after everything he’s done. Before the negative thoughts can fester, you call him over, asking to make snow angels together. He doesn’t do it, he’ll just watch you having fun lmao.
You actually managed to convince him to wear matching sweaters, but not without a fair share of puppy eyes. Abbacchio is inclined to give in to most of your whims and this time is no different. Of course, he’ll only do it if no one is around, to save his honor. He’d enjoy having an arm wrapped around you by the fireplace, closing his eyes in contemplation. He feels immense gratitude to your presence in his life. 
What Abbacchio would get you: Similar to Fugo, Abbacchio would feel worried about getting a good gift. He knows he can be prickly at times and feels this would be an opportunity to showcase his love for you. Eventually settles on a night out at your favorite restaurant and gifts you a bracelet at the end. 
What Abbacchio would like from you: Your hand in marriage, he’d appreciate simple little things with lots of thought put into them. Making him breakfast, getting him a pair of shoes that goes with one of his outfits, stuff like that. 
Trish Una;
Trish lives for all the cute couple-y stuff that you two can do during this season. Even if she won’t admit it outright, you can sense her excitement, but she’ll pout if you point it out. She’s not much for baking usually but will want to make cookies with you on the weekends as a date. Trish especially likes decorating them and gets super focused on getting the details perfect. 
You two go on so many shopping trips. Trish will be holding your hand, taking you from store to store, trying on clothes together. She loves giving you recommendations based on what would complement your body type, you’ll be dressed to perfection at the end of the day. Trish doesn’t even bother looking at the price tags, she just picks what looks good and keeps going lmao. 
In your downtime together, she’s going to be singing softly to you, running her hands through your hair as you lay down on her lap. Trish lives for intimate moments like this. She remembers how she loved spending Christmas with her mother, and while it hurts she can no longer do that, she’s immensely grateful to be with you. It makes the loneliness she would’ve felt more bearable. If you fall asleep while she sings to you, Trish will place a kiss to your forehead, whispering how she loves you in a way she’d normally be too embarrassed to. 
What Trish would get you: Fashion and makeup baby !! It wouldn’t be exclusive to one day either. Lip gloss, eyeshadow palettes, new shoes, jewelry, bath bombs, the whole works. She gets a bit too into it. 
What Trish would like from you: Matching accessories would make her heart practically beat out of her chest. That, or a charm bracelet, with charms linked to specific memories of your time together. <33
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