#but ppl can do whatever as long as they don't do any actually damage and I don't have control over em

[daprosy]

How I headcanon interactions between gameria coworkers happen! (+ who does what role)

Oh yeah, btw this skips all gamerias with real ppl as chefs jsyk

Roy & Joy - Their relationship was kind of strained after PL1 due to Joy being too busy to help him with the Pizzeria but they eventually became the besties they used to be yet again. Joy does the cooking, Roy delivers.

Marty & Rita - They didn't often talk with one another but were relatively good-ish. After PL2 they grew as besties and talk a lot more. They swap between cooking and serving often.

Mitch & Maggie - Exes on awful terms, they don't hate each other and hold no ill will but the cascade leading to their breakup was really emotionally damaging. They can exist in the same room with one another just fine, but they refuse to talk to each other. Mitch cooks, Maggie serves.

Alberto & Penny - They're so fluffy with one another and it's so much sweeter than the sundaes at the Freezeria that it could probably make you sick! They also swap restaurant roles on occasion but not as often. (Penny usually is behind the counter)

Cooper & Prudence - They text more often than they actually interact in the Pancakeria because otherwise they'd be rambling too much to work. But they're besties with a love for their animals :] They're usually both cooking but Prudence handles delivery when needed.

Taylor & Peggy - They work at separate locations (HC two different Hot Doggerias) they have never actually spoken. Whoops :P but they are both cheffing doing chef shit.

James & Willow - James very rarely actually shows up and doesn't even really do too much other than being bored. Willow does just about everything but business is slow enough for her to not care enough.

Rudy & Scarlett - Rowdy as hell and it kind of made locals uncomfy because they were very outward about their adoration of one another. And by were I mean cause they no longer work at the Cheeseria! When they got their instruments back they just quit but the restaurant still exists since replacements were found.

Timm & Cecilia - I don't actually have much to say here cause promotional stuff has said it all for me.

Carlo & Koilee - OH BOY these bitches fucking hate each other! Kismesis goals but they hadn't enough respect for one another to say that. Kinda sad how people really liked watching them argue and Koilee did feel really bad about unknowingly making Carlo way more stressed than he already was (and never seeing him again so it's not like she could apologize or anything). Doesn't make her hate him any less, though. Koilee is the chef but before Carlo quit she was the server.

Allan & Akari - Moiraillegiance of all time. They were already really good friends long before the Mocharia and became even better friends while they were there. Allan quit due to heavy stress regarding this and his hockey career alongside like. BEING IN A FILM. but a replacement chef was found who works alongside Akari (who's obv delivery).

Wylan & Olivia - VERY chaotic best friends and how they pulled off whatever the fuck they did in Cluckeria remains a mystery as well as who does what. They dink off way more than they actually work help-

[elphael]

ooooooh I have a horror story to contribute!! apologies if I've talked abt this before bc it's so. g-d.

rime of the frostmaiden had just come out and I was on an actual-play podcast at the time so I wound up in a discord server full of podcasters and streamers. one of the streamers in the server announced that he wanted to put together a group to play through this fun new module and stream it every other week. the dm put out a survey to see, like, how well ppl's play styles would mesh and whatnot. he told me he was very excited abt my answers and really wanted to play with me. cool. he puts together a group of six players and sends around a google doc character creation template as if we're all new players who don't know how to make a backstory or a character with motivations. but fine whatever I'll fill this thing out. in this template he gave example answers for each question all relating to his dwarf forge cleric who is the most boring uninteresting character I have ever seen. this cleric has no personality no drive and no roots in anything. I don't remember how but I found out at one point that he plays this character in every single campaign (when he gets the chance to be a player) so obv this cleric isn't rooted in anything, he's universe- and plot-hopping without any consistency.

anyway, the dm also tells us that there were too many good candidates for players so he ended up making a second group to ALSO run through frostmaiden, and that this brought him up to six (6) campaigns he's actively running at once. on top of having a very physically demanding full-time job. okay.

he really really wants us to use the character secrets that are written into the module as a way to, like, create drama but also tie us to the setting. some of them are buckwild and most of them create problems. (I got the dopest one bc I knew exactly what I wanted lmao that character was fun I'll tell you abt her sometime.) obviously we don't know each other's secrets in-game but half the group tells each other out of character for various reasons. only the rogue and I keep it entirely hush-hush. I can't remember if the wizard told and I just forgot or if she kept the lid on. the wizard is not important to this story.

we played four sessions, starting at level 3 and leveling up to 4 between the third and fourth sessions. the ranger kept missing games bc of personal and family emergencies, but other than that we had a fun enough time. lots of drama and interpersonal conflict that we all enjoyed.

Rand then in session four (after our first long rest; the first three sessions all took place over one adventuring day), the rogue wakes up with an unsettled stomach. makes a con save. passes. feels kinda bad but keeps trucking. day goes on.

rogue keeps feeling pain throughout the day. makes another con save. passes. makes a third con save. BARELY passes. the dc is increasing. makes a fourth con save. finally fails. a fucking red slaad pops out of his chest. he collapses to the floor, dead. instantly dead. nothing he can do about it; the slaad ate his internal organs. everyone looks at me, because I'm the fucking cleric. there's nothing I can do. we're only level four, I don't have revivify, and even if I DID, I don't have the fucking component. it's impossible to get an expensive diamond where we are. and obviously I didn't prep gentle repose; why would I have possibly assumed the dm would fucking kill one of us without recourse?? we'd had one (1) combat encounter in which everyone joked that I was a cleric who refused to heal anyone but in truth not a single one of us took even one point of damage the entire fight. I was evil but I HAD been saving my spell slots for healing 🙄. so it turns out the rogue had chosen the "slaad host" secret, and the book doesn't say anything about how the dm should run this. from the wording I had assumed it was meant to be a long-term plot hook, like okay in the middle of whatever else we're doing, the rogue has to be looking for a way to get rid of this parasite that will kill him someday. the dm says that that never occurred to him. he had arbitrarily decided that the dc for the con saves should go up by five every time. the check the rogue finally failed was bc the dc was 25 and it was mathematically impossible for him to succeed. this dm, who was running six (6) campaigns and had been doing this long enough to think "hey I should be a streamer and share my dming with the world," hadn't realized that the rogue should only have to make one save a day at most. why would he possibly need to keep saving every few hours in-game?? the session ends. a few days later the dm tells us that he's feeling overwhelmed and burnt out and that running six campaigns was a bad idea and he needs to just step away from the whole thing for a while but maybe someday we can all play again because we're all super cool. I found out later that his OTHER frostmaiden party, the second group he formed bc he got too many cool ppl answering his survey, kept playing off-stream. that was the only game of his six that he continued. anyway he was right in that we were all cool and should keep playing together, so our paladin (who was the gm of my podcast lmao) decided to take this group and turn us into another podcast. the ranger didn't stay but she let the dm be a pc and he made yet again the worst most boring nonsensical character who was excruciating to talk to. he eventually ended up leaving that campaign too and his character's mysterious disappearance became a plot point for the rest of us, and it was a struggle to make it something we cared about at all ghsjgjd. needless to say I have not spoken to this dm in a long time and I hope he got a new hobby bc ttrpgs are not it, man. he was a terrible dm AND a terrible player. also he insisted we use foundry which like. that's fine. but I was playing on a dinky little laptop (as was our wizard) and had to turn off every single feature for the thing to even run, and the dm's response was "oh I forgot not everyone has a whole gaming rig for their computer." okay.

tess this is so bad and yet. so so funny. glad you got a good group out of it, pouring one out for this cringefail dm who for sure was the cause of all of his problems in dming LMAO

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Is it bad if I know I'm probably bi but I just. Don't feel like the label is worth it? I just honestly want to live my life and date whoever without worrying about labels because I am so sick of the baggage ppl in and out of the "community" demonize and fetishize us with. But if you just say you're queer people try to define you anyway by who you're dating and I just. I'm so tired. I just want to date whoever and let ppl assume whatever, and not care. And I totally get why this label (Part 1)

(Part 2) I get why the bi label matters to ppl but I honestly just want to say f*ck it and not label myself. I know that's not a popular opinion but I'm so fucking tired of feeling lowkey social pressure in some bi spaces to be super out and loud and advocate for yourself constantly. Like I get why it's important for someone to but sometimes ppl act like saying you don't like labels is a copout and I'm like I DONT CARE. IM TIRED LET ME JUST LIVE. Idk just wondering if anyone else feels this.

-

Hi anon. I can only offer my opinion as someone who doesn't exactly feel that way so make of it what you will, but labels are meant to be used because they're useful or helpful in some way, whether that's in figuring out your identity, finding a community of likeminded people or however else it is helpful or useful. If you don't find these labels useful or helpful in some way you don't have to use them. It's not a copout to just not really care as long as you're not acting like nobody else should be using labels either (like that whole "Labels are for soup cans not people!" mindset, which is wrong).

Also I think there is a difference between just being something and actually identifying with the term or label in some meaningful way. Like for example I am technically non binary but the term non binary means nothing to me, I don't like it or connect with it and it's in no way any part of my identity just because technically it does apply to me. By this I mean really you can be technically bi without actually using the label bi if that label doesn't really mean anything to you, and that isn't inherently wrong or bad.

I think there is a difference too between people not wanting to call themselves bi because of internalised biphobia and thinking the word and what it represents is wrong or 'dirty' or something and people just being completely uninterested in using any labels for themselves. Internalised biphobia is harmful because that is about denying or suppressing attraction or having a lot of inner conflict and so on, things that can do someone a lot of damage, but just not being interested in using particular labels is not bad. Although nothing you do or say is probably ever going to stop other people making incorrect assumptions or trying to foist terms onto you (based on, as you say, who you're dating for example), that often happens whether you call yourself bi (or whatever) or not. For some people, that is probably going to be a factor in why they actually do choose to use a specific label and why they may even be very 'loud' about it - to correct other people, to rebel against what other people try to foist onto them, pretty much just out of spite even towards people who keep on trying to tell them 'you're not really X you're just Y'. But that doesn't fit everyone. Nobody is obligated to be really 'loud' about their sexuality whatever it is. There is nothing wrong with keeping things more low key or private if that's how you like it.

It is deeply unfortunate that we still live in a time where being bi is still so commonly either erased or denied, or else very commonly fetishised or demonised or demeaned in some way and it is terrible if things like that are putting some people off actually calling themselves bi. If that is what is going on to some degree with you and it is other people and their prejudices that have made you reluctant to label yourself bi then I'm sorry that others have made you feel that way and if that is a factor in how you feel towards the label then I hope things do get better for you in that regard.

But then there are people who just genuinely don't care what other people say or do, it makes no difference to the labels they do (or don't) use. Ultimately you do what is right for you really. You can label yourself how you want to and if that includes not using labels at all that's entirely your decision and there's nothing wrong with that so long as you're happy.

-Tiger

[monarchisms]

It was Rahul's tweets tt reminded me that AK also did something wrong during the whole scandal. Also I think Lawrence tweeted something abt it as well but it was dwarfed by the whole RH situation. It felt like a lot of ppl brushed off AK's wrongdoings coz RH's was worse (which IS but AK's situation was bad too). He still doesn't get a free pass from me coz Rahul denouncing him says A LOT and being called out by a former member meant there was more there. That's why AK's apology video didn't sit right with me...

[rahul's tweets, for context]

lawrence made two tweets about it, but another reason they were really overshadowed was because of how vague they were.

[source one]

[source two + rahul’s reply]

i agree with you, and to add to your point about former members denouncing adam, two current members (and one former colleague, in the case of autumn) have recently shared not-so-positive comments against him, as well.

[ source one | source two | source three ]

there’s also this video alanah made, where she mentions the situation in the beginning:

to avoid misinterpreting her words, i’ll instead type up what she said verbatim for people who can’t/don’t want to watch the full section:

“Um... [sighs] I guess I will probably move this to the start of this video. Um... This is gonna be a very weird thing to talk about right now, for anyone who doesn’t have any of the context at all, but I also don’t feel like I should be the one to go into detail about the context? Basically, it pertains to uh, an ex-colleague of mine, so let's just do the question, and then I'll see if I can make this make sense, I don't know.

Tim J. said "Do you have anything to say about Adam? Is it true that you didn't unfollow him? Does that mean that we should take that as you supporting him?"

Uh... [long sigh] So, I have no interest in- in talking about this, is the true answer. Um, I- I have no interest in it whatsoever, uh, but I also get that people are... are curious, and um, I understand why these questions are coming up right now.

So I've said this before, but people have somehow like, whittled it away to mean a lot less than it did when I said it, so I'm going to reiterate this, and then hopefully never speak about this again. There is more than you are aware of. None of these people stopped associating with this dude because they think he cheated on his wife. It's nothing that simple. Majority of the assumptions are incorrect and far too kind. The secrecy is not to protect Adam; it is to protect other people. This is people's real lives, with people they really know, you know?

So... Um, I hope that people can be respectful of that, as complicated as I understand that it is, I really- I really hope that people can try to give the people who continue to provide you content at Funhaus the respect, and I also just think it's worth keeping in mind um, as weird as it is in a personal Q&A on my own YouTube channel, that you do not really know these people. They are not really your friends. Uh, going through and checking who said what and when and who's following who at what time is not necessarily a healthy thing to be doing. I'm not even trying to criticize people who are doing that, or criticize people who are coming up with wild theories, some are just- of which are just so off-base, and then sharing it with others.

It's- it's just more that I'm trying to express that, like- I think you can put yourself in a lot of harm's way, as we've seen a number of times over the last several years, um, by idolizing anybody that you watch on the internet, myself included. Anybody. And that trying to dig very hard and to speculate and to, you know, have these thousand[s of] comments, threads, posts, whatever about this stuff is also potentially damaging to you in the long run, that level of investment in a stranger.

Um, I actually was still following him, but it's because he made his account private and stopped tweeting, so I just forgot to unfollow him. It was definitely not any sign of support, um... [long pause] Yeah, I hope that's coming off in a way that is caring, which is my intent. I'm not trying to sound passive-aggressive, or anything like that in saying that. That is genuinely not me trying to tell you to fuck off and stop talking about it. While I would love that, I'm not trying to be that insensitive. I completely understand the curiosity and how frustrating it is. I'm trying to say "This probably isn't good for you. None of it is, frankly. Just cancel the whole metaverse."”

so tl;dr, my current personal opinion of adam is:

[by-kilian]

(if this ask makes u uncomfortable in any way, feel free to ignore it, delete it, whatever u need to do. ur happiness matters more to me than anything else. however, i am specifically sending this not on anon, despite my incessant urge to do so as i barely ever send off anon, to give u the chance to reply to this privately if u want to. but that is if u want to! i don’t need, or want, anything from u. ur comfort outweighs any sort of recognition or interaction. i am also extremely unsure if this is gonna send properly bc i am on the tumblr app n the character limit seems to be nonexistent now? when did this happen HAHA…)

i went looking for u (scrolled thru the keyword of ur old user on tumblr, found an older ask that includes it) bc That App is talking abt That Story again. it always troubled me how things went down - i’ve experienced writers taking down their works before but never like that. orphaning works, sure. deleting ao3s, yep. but NEVER thru what u went thru. i don’t even generally go here (here being x readers), but That Story got pushed my way when the whole situation was in its hayday n i never properly paid attention to things until i caught wind of what u had to do. i had no idea it was that bad until maybe a week after the situation had been over n done with by ur actions. n i don’t blame u in the slighest. fandom culture is both extremely fun n extremely damaging - the fact u got the shortest end of the stick that i’ve ever seen is truly smth awful.

all of that aside, i am so extremely overjoyed to see ur still writing. truth be told, i hadn’t known of u before That Story, since again, my aversion to x readers. but ur writing is clearly smth special - n maybe this is extremely crude to say, i’m extremely sorry if it is - considering the way ppl acted over it. above it all, i am just happy to see that ur ok. everything is fine, as much as it can be. that fact alone leaves me content. i am SO glad u were able to push past it.

tldr, since i know this is a lot. i am so happy to see ur still kicking it, despite it all. content creation in any form is deeply personal if u put ur heart into it, n it seems like u do. i am so sorry for the way ppl treated u over That Story. i am doubly sorry if this made u feel upset in any way, shape, or form. that was not my intent, feel free to do whatever it is u need to do with this silly ask if this is the case. n maybe this is corny, but i hope more things fall in ur favor, instead of otherwise. have a nice day!

This is actually a really kind and considerate ask. I'll answer it under a cut since my response is pretty long though!

Firstly, I just want to say thank you for being thoughtful enough to consider my feelings in all of this. It's really kind of you and I'm not saying that just to say it. ❤️

Secondly, yeah. It all was a bit of a hell fire. While I wish it never happened, it obviously did but I'm happier now than I was then. Even before ThatStory blew up, my old writing blog was getting out of control and people were feeling super entitled to me, my works, what I did, and who/what I wrote about so in a way, I'm not surprised it headed that way although I never expected it to go THAT way lol. And yes, it was pretty bad but luckily it is done and over with. Fandom culture can be super fun and that's initially what it was for me--just fun before it unfortunately tipped over to the other extreme side of fandom which is toxic. It is what it is.

But to touch on your main point, thank you and it's not crude at all. I don't see your comment that way. In a way, I've come to think of it as much as well (that it must have resonated with people in some weird way) but not just with that particular story but other stories, too so it is really sweet that someone who doesn't read these kinds of stories thinks that of them as well. It also means a lot to me that someone cared enough to think about how I was doing after all this because that really hasn't been the case apart from loyal readers. Most ppl never think about me in this situation 😂 which is probably why what happened, happened. So thank you for the kind words. I'm fine. Like I said, happier now than I was in my previous blog. I've come to think that it's all meant to be. I get a lot more freedom here, I have the sweetest, most loyal readers, and no one feels entitled to my works, my time, or what I do.

Also you didn't upset me at all. While it's admittedly irritating to see people still talking about that shit a literal year and three months or so later, that has nothing to do with you so no worries. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to check up on me, and thank you for being so kind. Content creation is super personal and I do put my heart into it, so it means a lot to me that you see that 🥺! Truly.

I'm touched that there are still kind, good, decent people out there because for you to take the time to look for me and send me something lovely truly means a lot, especially considering you weren't necessarily a reader of mine--just clearly a kind, thoughtful human being. I can't express how much I appreciate it. Honestly. Thank you so so much for the lovely sentiments, and I hope all is well for you in the future as well. ❤️❤️❤️

[sundeity4]

I've recently become aware of npd and it's symptoms and it didn't occur to me that it could overlap with aspd or things like that

ive been managing my whole life based on rules I've made up for myself after seeing what was being labeled "bad" or "immoral" because clearly Those ppl have a hard time and that's not what I wanted for myself. and so they help me manage I how I treat and interact with ppl, too. It's all intellectualized, ya know?

and it's occuring to me now as an adult that outside these rules and socially acceptable facades I'm not sure who I am/how I'd behave. I've been laughing at stuff I don't find funny for so long idk what my actual sense of humor is anymore cuz the fake laugh is so reflexive. things like that.

tbh I attributed it to Heavy dissociation, I feel so numb daily unless something really catches my attention. And Im a lot™ when I'm upset tho and honestly, the rules I have are also to help keep myself in check when I Am upset or overwhelmed. I don't Get a lot of myself. and No diagnosis seem to fit cuz I have no idea what's Me and what's... whatever is wrong with me. so it's hard to determine what is a symptom or what it isn't which makes the experience doubly hard to describe.

but some tests I took online did have me score high for things like npd and aspd. So idk. I guess my question is how did you know it was those 2 dx? I guess, instead of something else?

actually anon, i have bpd not aspd or npd :") so im not so sure how helpful i'll be here, since i cant give you any personal anecdotal information.

but, when diagnosing a personality disorder, its good to keep in mind that the symptoms are present at all times, not in episodes, the symptoms are present since adolescence, and the symptoms impact your daily life. and always go by the DSM 5 criteria (if you're in america). heres the dsm 5 criteria for aspd:

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I maintain my self-esteem (and often define myself) from personal gain, power, or pleasure.

My goals are often self-oriented, and I have difficulty considering how the consequences affect others.

I have difficulty understanding or relating to the ideas, feelings, or behaviors of others. (low empathy)

I have difficulty maintaining close relationships unless I am in a dominant position.

__ / 4

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check SIX or more of the following:

I often try to make myself more influential over people and situations. I like to be in control.

I am often unable to understand how my actions or words can harm others.

I find I can be a dishonest person, either in how I present myself to others, or I’ll twist the truth of stories I tell.

I experience persistent or frequent feelings of anger or irritability.

I often find myself in dangerous, risky, and potentially self-damaging activities without regard for the consequences.

I am impulsive and often act on things without thinking or planning.

I often fail to take care of responsibilities and keep promises.

__ / 7

Section IV Must check THREE or more of the following:

I fail to conform to social norms and rarely do what is expected of me.

I compulsively lie when it benefits me.

I find it difficult to make plans for the future.

I have difficulty maintaining feelings of anger or irritability.

I am rarely concerned for my own safety or well-being.

I am often unable to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.

I don’t often feel regret, and I am often unable to feel remorse when I have wronged someone.

__ / 7

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adolescence, and some traits have been persistent since childhood.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

My symptoms are persistent and not triggering by a symptom from another mental disorder.

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of anti-social personality disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in ASPD patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum but relate to many of the symptoms listed, check out conduct disorders. If you feel you related to some of the symptoms, but feel many of your symptoms weren’t listed, try anxiety disorders, neurodevelopmental disorders, and depressive disorders. If you cleared Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum, look into other personality disorders.

Section VI Common symptoms and behaviors associated (not required for diagnosis):

I often don’t feel anxious, even in situations where I should feel anxious.

Some of my behaviors are a means of self-preservation.

I have gotten in trouble with the law on a few occasions.

I have difficulty reading social cues.

I find I am often unable to finish tasks.

I often view people in the style of a hierarchy.

I believe everyone is only really out for themselves.

I am incredibly opinionated.

I experience dysphoria, in which I feel my body is not my own.

I often feel very tense and restless.

I am unable to tolerate boredom.

I am very often depressed.

I define myself by my accomplishments and gains.

I have considered or attempted suicide.

I find I rarely get stressed out, even in incredibly stressful situations.

__ / 15 and heres the dsm 5 criteria for npd: Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have identity issues, and I depend on others in order to define myself. My self-esteem depends on others as well. How others view me influences how I view myself, which is why I try to present myself as important or powerful.

I have difficulty settings goals for myself, and how I set them really depends on the praise I receive from others. I tend to set goals unrealistically high in order to see myself as exceptional, or contrarily too low so I can feel more powerful when the task is easy.

I struggle to identify with the feelings and needs of others, and I tend to underestimate the effect I have on others.

I have unstable relationships. I can become so focused on my own anxieties and problems I forget the needs of my partner.

__ / 4

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check BOTH of the following:

I can be self-centered, and I feel entitled to good treatment from others, as I am dependent on it.

I like to be the center of attention, and I seek admiration from others.

Section IV Must check FIVE or more of the following:

I tend to exaggerate my achievements and talents and like to be praised for them.

I am often preoccupied with fantasies of my own success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love life.

In a way, I believe I am “special” and unique, and I like to surround myself with other people who are “special” and unique.

I require excessive admiration.

I set unreasonable expectations for both myself and the people around me.

I tend to take advantage of situations and am opportunistic.

I struggle with empathy and have a difficult time relating to others.

I am often envious, and I covet what other people have.

I can have an arrogant or haughty attitude.

__ / 9

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

Section VI Common symptoms and behaviors (not required for diagnosis):

I can have either low or high self-esteem. I find it depends on the people I’m with and how they’re treating me at the time.

I tend to overestimate myself, which can often lead to disappointing myself.

I can become anxious and spiral into a depression if I don’t receive praise or admiration.

I hate being alone for too long.

I find I compare myself with others often, having no other means of defining myself unless I can use someone else as sort of a “measuring tape.”

I often feel incredibly misunderstood by others.

I find I like to have the Best of everything. The newest electronic, the most expensive brand of something, etc.

I like to constantly be moving up and making progress and can become obsessive with it.

When talking myself, I tend to ramble.

I think a lot of people are jealous of me.

I am incredibly sensitive to criticism. I don’t usually show it outwardly, but being criticized can leave me feeling humiliated, degraded, and empty.

When upset, I tend to withdraw from others.

I find being competitive is very difficult for me because there is a chance of losing.

I am often depressed and/or anxious.

I try to read people’s weaknesses while hiding my own.

__ / 15

If you did not meet the minimum criteria for this checklist, you may want to look into anxiety disorders and depressive disorders. If you experience the symptoms above but only in episodes and not persistently, you may want to look into Bipolar Disorder. (Narcissistic traits could be a side effect of a manic or hypomanic episode.) If you met the criteria for Sections II and V but not the others, you may want to look into other personality disorders. both DSM 5 lists taken from Shit Borderlines Do

i hope this helps!

[yourbuckies]

(Sorry in advance that this is long) I just stumbled upon your post about all the recent Sebastian drama spanning from July and I just want to say thank you for being one of the few people on the internet that makes sense. I’m Asian and I wasn’t a fan of Sebastian’s (I liked Bucky, but never looked into him) when the whole girlfriend thing happened, and even then I just remember thinking "this is so fucking stupid." And even now with the whole Buddha thing, I just think it's so shallow and 1/?

damaging to respond to something so innocently-intentioned and ultimately not a big deal with the same backlash that one would with an actual hate crime or legitimate prejudice. It blurs the line of what racism actually is, it pisses people off, and it pushes them away from whatever "cause" these armchair activists are trying to support. Sure, I can see how the photo was mildly disrespectful, as someone who grew up around Buddhism. But is it worth all this outrage? Absolutely not. He didn’t 2/?

commit a hate crime, he didn’t throw around slurs, he didn’t even do anything outrageous with the statue (ie. flip it off or throw it, etc). These people are acting like he fucking killed somebody. I didnt even think "I'm offended" when I saw it, all I thought was "twitter isn't going to like this." I feel like that says a lot, honestly. I've always had such a big problem with social media activists, and this whole situation is just another example of why. These people don't care about the 3/?

issues they're relentlessly attacking people over. They just want to feel like they’re a good person and show everyone else that they're great because they care enough to make an incredibly hateful tweet in the name of a social issue. It's all so self-righteous, and the way they're doing it is unbelievably harmful in terms of actual progress for actual social issues. The whole point of activism is trying to educate people and get them on your side. Ever since social media activism, I've seen 4/?

more people than ever say they feel less and less inclined to be involved because these “activists” are actually dividing people and alienating anyone that doesn’t already think like them by being aggressive and rude and unforgiving. Especially for stuff that literally doesn’t matter, such as this whole Sebastian debacle. I wish people understood that if they’re posting stuff that only people who already agree with them would like, then there’s literally no point to what they’re doing. 5/5

i'm gonna respond to this final one cause it's mostly about what i glossed over here, when i said i fundamentally disagree with how stan/fandom approaches activism. but yes, i largely agree. i'm a woc - i've mentioned that before in an old entirely unrelated ask, but i didn't bring it up for any of this cause i generally believe that you should determine whether or not you agree with a point by the strength of my reasoning, rather than being worried you're going to be perceived as racist/sexist for disagreeing with a woc.

i think the disproportionate response is smth i'm struggling with - i think we can generally agree that even if you think he's fucked up in the past, he's done nothing to warrant a year (and possibly more, judging by the twt accounts of the ppl at the center of this) long campaign against him. it's disproportionate to put so much focus on just him when like you said, there are so many issues out there that genuinely needs attention that they don't ever look at unless it's handed to them in the form of already viral twts, so it is really hard for me to take at face value ppl presenting this out of all things as their demonstration of allyship.

and yeah, i basically had the exact same reaction to the picture. i saw it, went, oh ppl are gonna make a big deal about this, and then was kinda surprised when no one said anything for a while. the same ppl who fawned over it for hours until they were told it was problematic did a complete 180, which isn't a bad way to approach smth if you're told you're wrong, except in their case, they didn't know it was problematic so they're in the clear, but he must have posted it with full intent to offend.

and to your point about the point of social media activism, this is actually a topic i've been struggling with for the past few years. sm activism is increasingly useless because with certain exceptions where being loud is what helps best, everything is treated the exact same way. apart from literally donating money, if your approach to activism is the exact same for every single issue, which is just publicly being loud, you're not doing anything.

but i think this also comes from the way we've learned activism on social media, which largely comes in neatly packaged phrases you get in a viral posts/twts; "silence is complicity" "cultural appropriation" "your feelings are valid" "hold ppl accountable" etc. but these threads don't have space for nuance, and there's no critical thinking applied after ppl read them.

cultural appropriation originally entered the public conversation as a way for ppl to be cognizant that multiculturalism isn't a free for all. because of historical and cultural context (which varies country to country!), not everything in a different culture will be for you too. sometimes it'll only be for you if you're invited, sometimes only if you're invited by specific ppl of that community. but we've gotten to this place where cultural appropriation is now just segregationist, but woke, and you end up with stuff like this, where you actually end up hurting the group you're trying to support:

this was also a part of my issue about july - i didn't actually think what ale did was cultural appropriation. she didn't wear it in a disrespectful way, she didn't try to claim it as her own - the thing that was a microaggression was actually of the conflation of jpn/chinese cultures, but that doesn't fall neatly under the buzzword of cultural appropriation for you to explain when someone asks why you're sending this specific woman death threats!

and it's not just this issue where we're kind of going backwards. if you're in the lgbt community it's not uncommon to see theory now that borderlines on homophobic. gen z is especially obsessed with posting pronouns publicly, which originally was supposed to normalize it so it'd be easier for those that want to have them but are scared, but now they use as a shorthand for whether or not someone is a bigot. if your assumption is that everyone but bigots has a public pronoun, you're going to be forcing a lot of ppl to misgender themselves, or come out when they're not ready, all to not be deemed Problematic. glaad actually did a survey that showed 18-34 years old are becoming more uncomfortable with the lgbt community, and while it doesn't say why, i figure stuff like this doesn't help.

and it's the same when it comes to activism should be about educating/getting ppl onto your side. it's clearly not now, and just largely about your own appearances. this is a good thread about why i'm not a huge fan of the whole silence is complicity idea wrt to sm, but basically it's just this:

but at the end of the day i don't have an answer for any of this. it took us years to get to this point, and it'll probably take even longer to realize we've gone too far on issues, if there ever is a reckoning for it. i don't know if that'll ever happen fully in fandom spaces - i think ppl like the ones that started this are very aware they're using this as a cudgel; they have no problem with this behavior in their faves, and they regularly exhibit it themselves. i also think there is too much fear of being "cancelled" or at least piled on for hours having abuse hurled at you if you disagree.

anyways i could go on for a bit, but we're not solving anything today. i don't really have a neat wrap up for this either, but i hope you have a good day, anon.

[sunsetsover]

"I swear half this fandom don't actually like Ben" lmao true! Thing is though he's not likeable all the time and he can be a right old dick. But personally even if I don't like him or his actions at certain times, I feel like the broader picture is still there and I root for him because I get why he's like he is? And I can see and appreciate the softer sides of him even if they're fairly well hidden at times.

I also think some people in the fandom intellectually understand that he's traumatised and a survivor of various abuses, and when that shows in certain ways e.g. like if Callum or Lola is comforting while he's crying. But when it comes to situations like this week with Jags and Whitney, I personally think some people have struggled to understand how his trauma connects to it because it's not as obvious as e.g. Whitney's fiance dies, Gray manipulates her, bish bash bosh hit and run. Even more broadly I think it's easy for the audience to underestimate how Ben's experiences have shaped him because there's a distance created by time, his criminal actions, his (un)likeability factor, not viewing Phil as an abusive parent etc.

I don't wanna say everyone criticising him is like that btw! I'm sure there's a few reasons but I think this plays a part tbh.

i get what you're saying but to me it's like.... why would you even waste so much time invested into someone you don't like most of the time. i genuinely don't get it. ppl tend to ship ballum but hate ben AND hate the majority of the sls lately and it's like.... it's 2021 bro it's not like gay couples are THAT rare anymore there is so much media out there if you're not enjoying what ee are doing then you literally do not have to watch. in fact im BEGGING you for your sake not to. literally just do not engage with media that you aren't enjoying. do not sit in your own negativity writing 20 posts a day abt 'why are they doing this? why don't they do that? if they did this i would enjoy it more' bc you're only making yourself miserable. like this goes for any type of media but literally just stop engaging w it if you're not enjoying it anymore. the think pieces don't help anyone. your opinions aren't universal and they aren't gospel. we all need to stop confusing our opinions w facts. just bc i'm not enjoying smth doesn't mean other ppl aren't and vice versa. just bc i'm not enjoying smth doesn't mean that the thing needs to change. eg i hate the fact that callum is a copper and pray every day that something will force him out of it BUT it doesn't really affect my overall enjoyment of him as a character and it doesn't mean that the show has to make him quit just bc i don't like it. you (the royal you not u specifically anon lmao) might hate the fact that ben still does illegal stuff but that doesn't mean the show has to make him stop just bc you don't like it. if it affects how much you enjoy him as a character/ben and callum as a couple then maybe consider stopping watching. festering in the energy of 'i hate this, i hate what they're doing and here's 1200 words why' is unhealthy! i learned this the hard way !

i know this seems like an irrelevant ramble but i think i've realized that this is what my issue is. ppl not understanding trauma is frustrating and damaging and still pisses me off, but i feel like what actually pisses me off more are the ppl who just don't even attempt to be understanding bc underneath it all they're angry/frustrated at the show/sls and that's how it manifests itself. ppl don't like the direction ben and/or callum are going in and so the minute they (and it's usually ben lbr) step out of line they JUMP on that as an excuse to vent their frustrations and often end up saying shit that is ignorant or damaging or mean or just straight up cruel abt things that are so often symptoms of mental illness or trauma. so they're out here posting so many things and making these cruel little comments bc they can't just acknowledge that they don't actually like ballum anymore meanwhile ppl who are actually disabled/mentally ill/traumatised are sitting there reading all of these things and seeing all the people agreeing w them and it's doing real life damage to people.

is it on purpose? probably not. but that doesn't make the damage any less real. i have never forgotten or forgiven the way ppl reacted after ben went deaf. it was vile. as a disabled person who reacted very badly to being disabled just like ben did, it genuinely fucked me in the head seeing what ppl said abt him during that time. now i understand that it was partially ignorance but also a big chunk of it was ppl being unhappy bc they thought they wouldn't be able to enjoy their ship anymore bc ben was disabled (not that he hadn't been disabled before, but now it wasn't ignorable anymore).

idk there's more i could say but i feel like it's pointless. ppl don't care lmao all they care abt is their ship. which, ok fine whatever, but stop letting ur mentally ill/traumatised/disabled followers get caught in the crossfire bc you can't just admit you're not enjoying it anymore and feel the need to tear the thing down and rant about how it's 'bad writing' or 'out of character' etc etc. it's frustrating to read (which is why im never on here anymore) and speaking from experience it hurts YOU in the long run. negativity breeds more negativity.

you don't need to make excuses! just let it go! find something that does make you happy! you deserve that! and we deserve to be able to enjoy something without seeing ppl tearing it (or worse - us) down every 5 minutes !!

(edit - to clarify anon none of this was aimed at you i just sort of started ranting and didn't even really answer ur question im sorry !! i get what ur saying tho lmao 💞💞💞)

[destinyc1020]

I’ve seen you be pretty diplomatic about this but I’d like to know if you think the way the ‘public’ side of T&Z relationship was handled was detrimental in the long run or worth not having the GP be invasive.

Oof..... To me, this is a pretty complicated question with a pretty complicated answer Anon lol 🤦🏾‍♀️😄 But I'll try to make it as brief as I can.

I think back during the Tomdaya 1.0 era, I just wanted them to confirm their relationship, if anything, just to simply shut the antis up lol. 😅 It was never about me wanting to see them kiss or hold hands in public (although, I suppose that would have been cute I guess? 🤷🏾‍♀️), but more so about finally "settling the score" so-to-speak, since antis were so vocal in their hate.

I'll also add here however that I NEVER agreed with Tomdaya fans, or even antis (cuz there were some 😒) trying to tag them (or their friends/family members - as if, their close friends are actually gonna tell you the truth 😏) in posts or tweets/dms, trying to OUT them and their rlshp. I NEVER thought that was cool at all. 😤 I would just prefer if they did it on their own accord, NOT because they were "outed". For the record, I don't ever feel that it is right to try to "out" someone, or force them to come out, whether it's about their rlshp, sexuality, or whatever. 🙄 Celebrities don't owe fans anything other than their WORK as far as I'm concerned. (Just my personal opinion)

When they broke up in 2019 however (esp after reading the Audrey Tea 👀), I def felt like it would have prob been better if they had just ripped the band-aid off and had gone public at the two-year mark, like in 2018 or smthg.

NOW... flash forward to 2021..... I think that now that I've seen first-hand how ppl can be (in my inbox 👀), and I've seen how "going public" worked out for them in each of their other rlshps with other ppl, now my whole stance has changed somewhat.

Now days, IF they are seriously dating each other again, I don't care too much if they ever go public. Antis will continue to believe whatever they want regardless, even in the face of tangible evidence, so what they think doesn't really mean much to me anymore. 🤷🏾‍♀️ In fact, now I just laugh at all of the past (and even current) excuses that are made to try to discredit anything Tomdaya-related... even smthg as simple as a friendship! 😅😂 It's crazy lol.

With that said, I DO feel like for the natural progression of a rlshp, it might help if they did kind of confirm in a small way that they are dating each other, that is, IF they are dating each other again seriously. It would almost seem like a bit of a step backwards to date each other again, and keep doing the same thing all over again imo. 🥴 I wouldn't need any announcement (too cheesy), or "IG Official" post, and I don't need any kissing pap pics in the street (too staged 🥴), but even just a hand hold in public, or a show of light public intimacy would suffice imo. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I hate when celebrities flaunt their rlshp, so I'd actually rather them just stay PRIVATE and not talk about their rlshp lol. 😅 But if someone were to ask them if they are in a rlshp, I don't see the need to lie. Just saying, " yes, I am, and I'm happy" would suffice. They wouldn't have to name names, or go into details. The public will be able to put two and two together if that is the person you're always seen with. 👀

Anyway, I guess my answer is mixed and complicated lol. 😆

Bottom Line: I'm not sure if them keeping their rlshp private in itself was a BAD thing (it prob actually saved them a LOT of media frenzy drama after they broke up and each got with other ppl tbh 👀), I just felt like remaining THAT private close to the 3-year mark was a bit much, and that the damage control was cringe. 🥴

If they could have just remained private, never confirming anything, but at the same time, not doing DC, then I would have been perfectly fine with that actually lol. 😅

I feel like at their level of fame, if they are dating each other, it will be a huge "story" if they went public, so I totally understand them wanting to fly under the radar all those years. But at the same time, I feel like if they could have found a healthy middle ground, then it might have been better for their rlshp in the long run.

But at the end of the day, as long as THEY are BOTH happy, then I couldn't care less what they do with their "rlshp" with each other rofl. 😂🤣

Ugh I said I was going to be "brief".... 🙈😭

Anyway, I hope that answered your question?

[silver-wield]

Hi! Sorry for bothering you. Don't know if you already did this one (so many analysis) but what did you thought about Sephiroth killing Barret scene? Everyone just go running to Barret and Cloud just froze.

No bother! Sorry for the wait, I had a few things on my plate to clear lol

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be short-ish.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone’s interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response) 

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read) 

Cloti action touching 

Aerti friendship analysis 

Cloti body language chapter 3 

Cloti healthy disagreement 

Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15) 

Clerith playground scene 

Cloti body language plate fall 

Cloud and Barret friendship 

Resolution scene analysis (A) 

Barret character analysis (chapter 13) 

Cloud character analysis (Honey Bee Inn) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recap time!

Okay, so our intrepid heroes have found Aerith, but then Cloud has a ptsd induced attack and passes out. After some exposition courtesy or Red and Aerith, we're back on mission to reach the roof and the Avalanche helicopter waiting for us – thanks to Wedge the cinnamon roll.

Once we reach the President's office we can hear shouting and make our way outside to find Shinra dangling from 70f up. Poor bby. Lemme help you up.

Anyway, Barret stops Tifa going to help (you’re too kind sometimes, T), grabs Shinra and after some massive restraint on his part, tosses him back onto solid ground. He pursues Shinra through the office and then in classic moron moment finds Shinra has a gun pointed at him. I'm not sure why the others didn't go too, but for whatever reason, they're in the doorway while Shinra is making his selfish bastard speech and Barret forgets he's got a literal machine gun for an arm.

Seconds before pulling the trigger, Sephiroth materialises out of thin air – and Cloud's Sephy sense didn't even go off this time – and he stabs Shinra, killing him in an echo of his OG death.

You get a shot of surprised Cloud and Tifa, then Barret lunges for Sephiroth while whispers appear through the doorway.

Ooh damn I'm good! 2nd go and I stop on this shot. First one was blurry.

Ok, this is obviously the moment where Sephiroth runs Barret all the way through. Remember, his sword is like 8ft long or some ridonculous shit like that. It's massive. He has zero need to get close to someone when he stabs them. He didn't do this with Shinra, he was like 3 feet away and still there was plenty of sword sticking out the guy's chest (anyone wonder if Seph is compensating for something? Lol).

Ok, so the point I'm getting at by showing Sephiroth this close to Barret is that this is a personal attack. This isn't something he's done just to kill someone. He's stuck that massive sword all the way through Barret's chest until he's within touching distance of him. This is an attack on Cloud. This is his way of showing Cloud that the vision from the VR scene could absolutely be true. He can make it true.

As for Barret, well he's just been stabbed, so he looks like he wants to go for pizza lol

Tifa automatically reacts and wants to run to Barret and save him. She's lost way too many people over the last day and can't lose anyone else. This is expected of her being the first one to react.

Interestingly, the next one to move is Red. The bromance is real. That's one fast friendship there and I love these two as friends. Barret and Red can snark at each other for a whole game and I'll be happy. 

This is a great moment though because it shows that Red's already formed strong bonds with everyone, enough that he'll go to their aid without stopping to think. For an animal character which is hard to read, you can see very easily the pain, fear and panic in his eye.

If you're a meta!Aerith theoriser like me then this is actually too much emotion on her face for someone who barely knows Barret. She looks like she just lost someone very important to her. They met like an hour ago. I love the amount of emotion on her face here, she clearly cares about Barret a lot. That's an “please God oh no” look if ever I saw one. Makes me wanna tear up and no lie.

And Cloud. Who doesn't move because he's literally frozen in place with a wide eyed look of horror on his face. He's seen Sephiroth stab people before. Back in Nebelheim reactor and then in the VR where he had to watch him stab Tifa (ok not really, but the mental trauma is still the same). He's shutting down. SOLDIER!Cloud.exe has stopped working. Have you tried turning him off and on again?

Cloud's terrified of Sephiroth anyway – he literally whimpers during one ptsd attack – so to see him stab Barret? His friend? And he didn’t even see it coming? It's probably sent his entire mind to a point where he can't function. This is the stuff that breaks him.

Aside: How did Sephiroth pull that whole long ass sword out of Barret without moving away? Does he have slenderman arms on the sly?

This is interesting. Sephiroth looks at Cloud, who's still shell-shocked, but then it's like you can see him rebooting. That absolute fury and hatred he has for Sephiroth overrides most of his shock – or tries. You can see the SOLDIER part of him trying to assert control over his fear, but then it wavers and the shock and fear – likely from real!Cloud – take hold again, making his eyes wide and him look as helpless as he feels.

Sephiroth's goal is to always make Cloud feel helpless, out of control, useless to everyone. That way he can control Cloud and make him do whatever he wants. He's a master manipulator and Cloud with all his issues struggles to fight against that mental barrage. It’s something that never goes away for him. This is his lifetime struggle and it’s a metaphor for those who live with mental health issues. There’s no one final battle and it’s all rosy. It’s never ending and some days you win, some days it’s Sephiroth. The point is to fight.

So, then the whisper leaps into Barret to save him and Sephiroth turns into a piece of Jenova. Now we've got some action happening, Cloud shakes off his weakness and goes back into SOLDIER mode.

Conclusion

Cloud can't deal with emotions. Of any kind. He's emotionally stunted, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions. It's the opposite. He feels things far too deeply and intensely and hasn't learned how to process them effectively in a way that doesn't damage himself. This is stuff you learn as you mature from a teenager to an adult. This is stuff Cloud's been denied by being a lab rat for 4 years. His body may be an adult, but part of him is still 16. He needs to experience life to help him mature and catch that emotional development up to the rest of him. (which is my way of saying he won't be like a 16yr old forever).

Cloud's real and genuine affection for his friend over-rid any kind of control he had over himself and made it impossible for him to move when he saw Barret stabbed. He's also lost too many people, which is partly why he has that SOLDIER persona protecting him. Sephiroth's taunting look made it clear this was to get at Cloud. It had very little to do with Barret. Cloud's anger broke through his shock, but that weakness reasserted itself quickly afterwards, keeping him from acting until Jenova Dreamweaver appeared and he finally had something for SOLDIER!Cloud to take care of.

[heartsoftruth]

until now i thot Ney@PSG was just a way for him (and his pai) to get more money/advantages from barca by using PSG as a pressure point ... But now, after what Geri and Masche said, he apparently really considering leaving ... It's not just a mind game with barca's direction, he is actually serious. I still don't know what to think about it ...

Anonymous said:“Do you wane be someone who we hear of when you play in the CL only or one we also wants league matches live?” This got me thinking, maybe PSG could bring him a little more peace. Less media exposition, less pressure. On a personal level, i think it could be good for Ney … On a professional level, Barca is way more competitive of course. I understand why he take his time to truly think about it even if for the fans it is a hard time.

He wants to win the BdO. If he wants to win it in France he or has to score 40+ but especially win the CL. That will be historical. 

Anonymous said:I want him to leave. I think he needs it for his growth. But not like this and not PSG 😭

@imahighfunctioningdisaster​ said:I just really don’t see what’s appealing in going to PSG. (Except maybe for the money, but that what’s interest NSr, not NJr.) Ligue1 is so bad, like there is nothing spectacular or interesting to play in french football. There aren’t good opportunities or way to make yourself more famous, no good club (bc PSG is not a good club, not at all). (And it’s coming from a french person who doesn’t follow la Ligue 1 because of how bad it is.)

I dont see the appeal either tbh. I really dont see it. STAY!

Anonymous said:Neymar, it doesn’t get any better than Barca. You are a part of the best trio in football. You’ve won cups & you get praised for how incredible you are. But you’ll throw it away for money? A Brazilian friend persuading you too? If he leaves to PSG he goes to a shitty league with no competition. No one will care how many goals he scores. He won’t be alongside some of the best players in the world. But at least you got that money right? What a disappointment. Even if he stays, I don’t care.

Anonymous said:Ney will be hated by the fans bc of thinking about leaving. Ofcourse he’s thinks about leaving his dad wants him to go to psg. But I think Ney should man up and tell his father what he wants for once.

Anonymous said:I’m mind blown at how his father is sitting back and letting all this backlash happen, why is he ruining his sons reputation. Money is great and all but as a father your child should come first, his happiness should come first always.

Anonymous said:The damage is done already, Cules don’t want Neymar to stay even the once who really liked him are turning their backs on him. At this point he might as well just leave. I don’t know if he’s even aware of it. But he will be when the Camp Nou welcomes him with boos and whistles.

Exactly, it doesn’t get better than Barça and hell to the no at P$G…

I hope he stays. I’m keeping positive. I hope tonight will be a good came again and maybe some stay Ney chants and he will see what he can achieve with this team. 

He will just have to make up a lot with the fans. 

Anonymous said:Hi i’m sorry to bother but why would JB fans be mad at him? Did something happen? Again sorry for bothering youHi, you don’t bother me. I just dont remember what I said about JB… Anonymous said:hey ash well am a madridista but i wanna say that i really wish ney to stay although this will harm and threaten real Madrid but i want him to stay bec i love him and if he stays within a couples of years he gonna be the best player in world and 2nd its amazing to see such a unique talent in la liga :) am sorry if i interfered in barca issue while i am a Madrid fan good night all xoxox

Aaawh thank you! Thats very nice of you to say! I didnt know RMA fans visited my blog, but your words are too kind! It;s great to see how you appreciate him

Anonymous said:I feel like Geri messed up, meant positive about Neymar, but some things he said come out negative, he made him sound like incompetent child who can’t think for himself, and made it sound like he’ll never lead club cuz he’s not Messi. Not a good msg to send out there. I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that but it came out like that. We all know Ney is still under influence of his dad but he made big choices against him in the past and hes not a compete idiot, I think ppl underestimate him too much

Geri spoke his mind and the truth. I know what Geri means with the child comment and it isn’t as negative as it may seem. I thought he said some interesting stuff in a time where the subject of all this drama isn’t speaking. 

Anonymous said:watching stories from Neymars friends pisses me off even more, they really are such fucking parasites! he does all the work, in the middle of this hot mess they’re just fucking around, partying in messy hotel rooms, all just follow him around and live of of him and his success like leaches, they are no use. How can he be grown up surrounded with ppl like that 24/7?? Are they gonna still sit in his living room when they’re 50? pathetic….

I hvae no idea. I hope they tell him fucking stay at Barca idioto.

Anonymous said:If its abt leadership eventually ney will leave cos lio is the undisputed leader here&he fought his way to be here. Its not like he randomly became the leader over the years he has cemented his place. At the start it was a struggle even for him and right now tbh it would be extremely disrespectful and wrong to ask leo to step down because why should he he isnt declining? Or has shown any signs of it either even at the juve game both goals he was the starting point of it his inch perfect passes

True. He knows Leo won’t step down and is the natural leader. That;s why he might wanna  leave. 

Anonymous said:It’s not lio imposes himself on others infact last season he played in the midfield and became Europe’s top scorer he didn’t exactly took away chances from others but rather he is that good he can play in all positions. He by his talent is the natural leader of the squad. He is the best player in the world. Some people try to make it look like lio is a dictator hence ney is going& nobody acknowledges that even messi on his part sacrificed his play to suit msn. He isnt exactly self centered

Exactly! Leo shouldn’t even be brought into this discussion. Every player knows to what team they go to and who the natural leader is. Leo is a team player, not selfish but everyone respects him as the leader. 

Anonymous said:Sorry…. he said that his making this very clear he loves Neymar more then Barca and better then being with the best player in the world and that he won’t find this somewhere else, and that he needs to enjoy the team, the city which is Barca and he won’t find it anywhere elseAnonymous said:Nah Neymar has massively dissapointed me! Is he really that stupid that he will lose whatever goodwill he has left with fans even his teammates for carrying this on WAY too long. If it was a silly brumar rumour or something to do with Bruna he would be the first person calling out the journalist or posting some silly posts to end the drama but with HIS own life and career and the integrity and respect for a club that has done their best to accommodate him he keeps mute! He should leave tbhAnonymous said:Okay bye Neymar 👋🏽😒!!! I’m sorry if he really wanted to stay as Barca he would have said something by now, which just shows that his actually considering leaving Barca for a club where he’ll only be recognized in the Champions League?! I’m done he has strung everybody along far too long! I’m disappointed in him!!

I get the disappointment because same, but I still want and hope he will stay. Lets hope he makes the right decision. 

Anonymous said:I’m soooo tired of this Neymar drama. Thank God for Lewis, at least one of my faves is treating me right.

Well Lewis also has a lot of drama surrounding him always haha. 

Anonymous said:Neymar’s father did the impossible…Congratulations 👏👏👏*sarcasm* A majority of FC Barcelona fans (90%) now hate Neymar.he Can’t really say anything??This situation is so annoying.If he wants to leave, he need to SAY. EVERYONE is tired of this waiting.

It’s such a mess… 

[jonghyyn]

this is a genuine question I'm not trying to be a troll or anything and thought you'd be able to answer: why is it problematic for people to not think an idol is bi/gay? I don't mean straight people trying to pretend their not homophobic I mean people who simply say "we don't know this idol's sexuality so who actually knows". Like people on this site are so vicious that they are telling lgbt ppl they're faking being queer because they don't think a particular idol is gay?

its not problematic necessarily to not think a specific idol is bi/gay. but the implications of saying something like  “___ is straight” is a lot different than “___ is gay/bi” bc you have got to take context into account. a statement like “___ is straight” is backed by Much different history. youve got to remember the existence of heteronormativity, of the societal systems of homophobia that forces people to remain in the closet. the subconscious biases that make a person think someone else is straight come from much different roots than what makes ppl question if a person might be gay. if u were to say “___ is straight” and they were actually queer, u are another person in a long line of ppl in their life that are playing into the heteronormativity that affects them, whether u intended it or not.

if u say “___is gay/bi” and theyre actually straight then well… there is nothing bad that will happen to them. there is no system of “queernormativity” that reminds them that their sexuality is always treated as Other. there are no forces out there that stop them from openly identify as straight that a statement like this will remind them of. wrongly making a guess that someone is gay is no more damaging than wrongly making a guess as to what their favorite color is, there is nothing inherently damaging about it. 

so whatever Ur specific guesses as to what an idols sexuality is, youve got to recognize the completely different histories that surround guessing that theyre gay vs guessing that theyre straight. queer headcanons at their core come from the assumptions that queer ppl have needed to make throughout history to recognize other queer ppl without explicitly outing themselves, while “cishet headcanons” are treated as the default and violently enforced. theyre not rly the same thing.

a phrase like “we don’t know an idols sexuality so who actually knows” kind of comes in a few different flavors in my opinion, and how i feel about it is situational. saying it as a General Statement is true and ultimately i dont think anyone is about to dispute that. bc nobody knows what the specifics of an idols sexuality is besides the idol themselves. however, saying it in response to queer fans making headcanons is… not great. bc at that point ur using the statement to shut down discussions/harmless headcanoning as done by queer fans. so yeah. theres nothing wrong with saying that as its Own General Statement, but if ur using it to Respond to smth like fans making headcanons or fans discussing the queer themes of a song, at the point ur using it to attempt to stop their discussion and its not so harmless anymore. when queer fans are having that headcanon discussion/talking abt queer themes in a song, that phrase is already implicitly Known so u coming in and saying it is like ? okay ? we all know that ? what is the purpose of saying it in this situation and what are u Really trying to do if not trying dissuade ppl from further freely having a conversation abt an idol exploring potentially queer themes w their music. the motives behind saying it generally and injecting it into the middle of a conversation are much different. 

as for telling ppl that theyre not Rly lgbtq i agree that thats a shitty thing to do. i also think that by saying that, u ignore a much deeper problem that needs to be acknowledged- the one of internalized homophobia and transphobia. lgbtq ppl can Still perpetuate cisheteronormative lines of thinking, bc we all have grown up in cisheteronormative societies in which we are taught cisheteronormative things. if u dont acknowledge that lgbtq ppl will often say cisheteronormative things, u are looking past the problem of internalized queerphobia. the nuances of cishet ppl spouting ugly bullshit bs queer ppl repeating queerphobic thing theyve been taught are much different. in the case of queer ppl, they are ultimately saying stuff that is damaging to their own self and probably has, to some extent, had negative impacts on their self-image and self-understanding. 

anyway, what im trying to say that its not Bad to not think an idol is gay/bi but youve gotta consider the historical weight ur words carry if u were to make posts about how theyre Straight™. and youve got to recognize what the intentions of a statement like “we dont know their sexuality so who knows” is depending on if its said by itself or as a response. if its said by itself, its implications are “we dont know the specific details of their sexuality ultimately.” when its used as a response to ppl talking about queer themes in music or any kind of queer speculation, the implications of it are “we dont know their sexuality so shut up and stop talking and go back to being okay w the cishet default.”

[avasilvugh]

Are the superbabies overprotective of Lena? Or do they worry about her? Being her the only one of the family without any powers to defend herself? I don't know if she's still being targeted by her mother or brother but she's still a very famous and smart Luthor with a really important company so I guess she kind of always has a target in her back.

this ask is related to another one so when i finish that one, i’ll link it here and link this one there too

here’s the sort of second part??

SO 

oh my god they are so incredibly protective of lena like…….oh my GOD are they overprotective.  like??  finn and maia spend a lot of time worrying abt her and stella bc they’re the only two that dont have superstrength or speed or the ability to fucking fly away from danger and stella worries abt lena constantly bc she can feel all the bad stuff ppl feel towards her???  hear all the bad thoughts???  

god its terrifying for them bc their moms are rlly Bad at self-preservation and like obviously they get better at it bc they need to b around for the kiddos but they also would lay down their lives for the kiddos in an instant??  its a weird tightrope to walk, but at least kara like…..probably will come out of most situations alright.  like 9 times out of 10 she’ll walk away from a fight but whenever lena’s in danger its like??  they rlly Dont Know if she’ll be okay

like Constant Fear is something they know p well.  stella’s manifests more visibly bc she’s already p tightly wound so when she’s like twelve or so she starts having panic attacks when lena has to go out of town bc she’s That worried something will happen to her and like?? stella can’t??  do anything???

when her powers grow, she finds she can sort of influence ppl??  like later she ends up developing the ability to actually impose her will (which……different post tbh) but earlier its just sort of a nudge in a direction she likes better, maybe sending some more positive feelings or smth.  she does that a lot for lena.  like if she feels a dip in her mood or hears some of the shit she’s being subjected to, she just…..pushes rlly nice thoughts in her direction???  sometimes sends nice things abt her mom to the ppl that r being mean to her

maia, when she gets a lil older (starting when she’s abt 13 or so??), does this thing where when they’re out in public and some pap appears and starts shouting at lena for a quote on whatever shit lex has said or lillian’s pulled, she just……steps in front v subtly.  even when whoever’s getting in lena’s face is v obviously human, even when lena is obviously handling it.  she just inches forward, steps just slightly in front of lena, straightens her spine and sets her jaw and listen, maia’s a giant sweetheart when u get to know her, but that girl is fucking terrifying when you’re on the wrong side of her glare and more often than not, whoever is giving lena shit will just walk the fuck away

it worries lena to no end bc she’s like??  i am the mom, i should be stepping in front of you but the way maia views it, if things get bad or ugly or violent, she can take the hit??  and she would, she will, she always will bc she wont even feel it but it could do serious damage to her mom and that’s…….Not an Option

and finn!!!  finn, god bless him, is the least violent person you could ever meet, hates anything to do with violence rlly, so he doesnt react like maia, doesnt send glares, he just worries and frets and tries to keep maia from doing stupid shit bc she’s scared

like??  that’s how he helps, that how he takes care of his moms; when one of them is down for the count or isnt allowed to leave the house bc SOMEONE put out another hit on her, he just sort of fills the gap and puts all his nervous energy into finding the best value laundry detergent or the right kind of sequins for maia’s dance uniform or the right brand of knee pads bc stella’s old pair wore out just before lex started pulling shit again and lena was going to get new ones but now she’s on house arrest 

and god help them all when the kiddos band together.  like starting from when they’re little, even!!  they thought they were so slick abt it too, thought their Secret Guard for Mommy was like a secret or something but every adult around them knew abt it, thought it was cute until it got kind of worrisome bc they were v, v serious.  but when they were little and didn’t rlly have a solid concept of the v real danger lena was often in, it was just like ppl r being mean to our mommy so we’re going to be extra nice to her and get aunt maggie to help us bake cookies for her after school

when they’re older, it is decidedly less cute and baked goods oriented.  stella kind of gets premonitions??  not quite seeing the future, but like….she sees options.  Possibilities.  so she’s usually the first to know abt any threat to lena and the kiddos have a separate, encrypted group chat that is literally still called Secret Guard for Mommy but maia added like four knife emojis and stella added the skull and fire emojis and finn balanced it out with like several hearts around mommy

anyway they have this secret, safe chat that stella messages whenever she gets a vibe (yeah, she borrowed the term from uncle cisco but to be fair, vibe doesnt exist on their earth so) and finn and maia get the location, the description and then maia goes to put the fear of god in whatever fucko is planning on messing with their mom.  she doesnt necessarily physically hurt them??  usually she doesnt, but sometimes they’re truly awful and so she does, but that’s why finn’s there, bc he has this rlly good ability at sensing when she’s abt to go Too Far and always stops her before that

when their moms find out, theyre furious bc like the kiddos arent that old??  they rlly arent, like finn is twenty, maia’s barely eighteen, and stella???  is a literal high school freshmen???  and god knows how long they’ve been doing this, and it’s so incredibly dangerous and kara’s kind of like??  you could have come to me, i would have handled it but its just rlly hard when you’re a kid and you see your parents scared and they just…..Needed to do something