#but sister jo is a badass and i want her hair

[she-karev]

The Name (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister Baby Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

AN: Hey guys here’s another chapter that takes place immediately after the Birth chapters let me know what you think and I will take One Shot Requests if you have any concerning Andrew DeLuca and Amber Karev or Jolex.

Summary: Amber and Andrew try to decide what to name their baby with Alex and Jo weighing their suggestions. Later Amber talks to Carina.

Words: 2573

October 20th, 2022

Jo Karev walks down the hall pushing Luna Karev in her stroller eager to meet her niece. She would’ve come by sooner, but she was busy assisting Dr. Bailey with a large ovarian cyst on a teenage girl who fainted during sex ed. Now it’s almost midnight and all she wants to do is to enjoy peaceful family time she never had growing up. She sanitizes her hands before entering Amber’s room to find her sitting up in bed opening a box of cookies with DeLuca sitting next to her watching Alex who is sitting in a chair holding the baby sticking his tongue out at her like the fun uncle he already is.

Jo smiles at the sight and speaks in a low voice to not alarm the baby, “Hi someone wants to meet her cousin.” She walks closer until she’s next to Alex who grins at her and introduces the cousins.

“Hey little moon this is your cousin TBD DeLuca.” Jo narrows her eyes at him posing an unspoken question, “Yeah, your auntie Amber and uncle Andrew are still deciding on a name so for now she’s TBD. Look TBD this is your cousin Luna.” Luna looks at the baby inquisitively with a blank face.

Jo gets closer to the baby and sees that instead of a pastel hat they normally give for the babies, she’s now wearing a black one causing her to chuckle, “I see she’s inherited her mom’s sense of style.”

Amber grins, “Yeah what can I say she’s a badass already.”

Jo is still gazing at awe of the baby, “Oh my god she is so beautiful you guys. Dark hair or blonde?”

“Dark I guess his genes beat me on that.”

“But she’s got her mom’s blue eyes. So basically, she’s got all of our best physical features in one package.” Andrew points out causing Alex to chuckle.

“Oh, dude you are so screwed.”

Andrew chuckles in agreement, “I’m already looking into getting a gun locker and automatics to fill it so I can scare the boys away when they come over to pick her up.” Amber chuckles at that, “Yeah laugh now but trust me I know now that your brothers were overprotective for a reason. And they’re probably the reason you didn’t have a teen pregnancy or STD.”

“Or I have sound judgement that came from watching my hormone addled brothers bring in a girl week after week forcing me into the role of a sane person who didn’t think with her genitals.”

“It sounds like when I was growing up with my sister.” Andrew quips, “Except they didn’t date your school friends or exes.”

“And let’s be thankful for that and hope she has better judgement than her aunt and uncle when she reaches teen hood.”

Jo carefully takes the baby from Alex and holds her with a grin, “Hopefully by then you guys will pick a name for her.”

Amber groans at that and explains, “We wanted to wait to meet her but now that we met her, we’re stumped. I mean I test simple names like Emma or Amy but she doesn’t feel like an Emma or Amy. There should be an app for this kind of thing.”

Alex kneels down to Luna in the stroller handing her a toy, “Well hey I might have a suggestion if you’re interested.”

“Please so we don’t look like bad parents and leave the hospital with nothing on the certificate.”

“Well, you know Alex is a pretty good name.” Amber raises an eyebrow at that, “It’s gender neutral in case she doesn’t identify as female, it’s cool and it’s after her favorite uncle.”

Andrew grins shaking his head amused, “You really dug deep for that one, didn’t you?”

“It is just a suggestion.”

Amber looks at the baby for a moment before shaking her head, “No she’s not an Alex, what about you Jo?”

Jo coos at the baby before looking at the couple, “Why don’t you do it the Gilmore Girl’s way? Name her Amber after yourself, guys do it all the time.”

Amber shakes her head immediately, “People kept saying to me Amber is a designated stripper name and I’m not gonna subject my kid to the same torture. So, if you all are thinking Angel, Brittany or Bambi toss it out. What about you Luna? Do you have any ideas?” Luna teethes on the toy absentminded not paying attention causing them to chuckle, “I didn’t think so.”

“Well, how about a character from one of our favorite movies?” Andrew suggests, “I liked Terminator growing up, how about Sarah DeLuca?”

Jo looks at the baby and tries it out, “Sarah DeLuca…no.”

Andrew looks at Amber who’s busy eating her graham crackers, “You love Legally Blonde how does Elle sound?”

“No.”

“Reese?”

“Ugh! No!” Andrew looks at her confused by her disgust and she clarifies, “Reese’s cups.”

“Reese’s pieces.” Jo adds.

“Reese’s puffs that girl will be picked on in the schoolyard.” Alex states.

“It’s just an idea that’s all.” Andrew looks at the baby in Jo’s arms, “We really should name her before we leave though.”

Jo chuckles and speaks to her niece in a baby voice, “Don’t worry TBD if your parents are still clueless by the end of the day Aunt Jo will sneak in and put her own name on the certificate.” Jo grins and puts the baby in Andrew’s arm causing him to grin at his daughter. Amber looks at the baby inquisitively before shaking her head.

“No she’s not a Jo.” Amber adjusts the black hat on her small downy head.

Andrew grins and nods, “No you’re not a Jo.” He cradles the baby who gets fussy and starts to cry.

“Oh no I think she’s hungry, come here baby.” Andrew hands the baby to Amber that immediately stops her crying as Amber holds her against her chest. Amber pulls her gown down one shoulder so she can nurse the baby shocking Alex.

Alex quickly stands up and looks away, “Whoa! Okay I um I should go come on Luna bear let’s leave your aunt to her um business.”

Amber chuckles at her brother’s reaction as the baby’s head covers her pregnancy swollen breast from his and Jo’s sight, “What are you 13? You’re a doctor and this is the natural order of things don’t shame me for giving my baby her nutrients.”

Alex coughs and looks down so he can avoid looking at her feeding the baby directly, “I don’t shame mothers for breastfeeding I just don’t feel like looking at my sister with her chest out even if there’s a baby attached to it.”

“He’s got a point babe.” Andrew says to Amber too distracted feeding the baby.

Amber rolls her eyes at the men, “Oh come on dude you used to give me baths.”

He still looks down, “Yeah when you were two.” He turns to Jo who’s stifling her laughter at the conversation, “Jo, are you good to stay so I can take Luna home?”

Jo grins at him trying to avoid eye contact with Amber, “Yes, I’ll carpool with Link and he can drop me off later. You two go and get some sleep I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Great thanks. Congratulations again tell the hopefully will be named soon baby uncle Alex sends his love.” He takes the stroller and exits the room with Luna in toll. Jo and Amber look at each other in amusement as TBD enjoys her breakfast straight from the breast with Andrew eating a graham cracker out of the box.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up after I fell asleep to find the sun rising from the window. Andrew left to put the finishing touches on the nursery and I take advantage of a good night’s sleep predicting it’ll be the last one I get for a while now. I hear a baby gurgle and a female with an Italian accent singing low. I sit up and find Carina DeLuca sitting in a chair holding my daughter marveling at her new niece and singing something in Italian. She looks up and smiles at me.

“Buongiorno.” I grin at her as I rub my eyes, “I wanted to see my new niece before I left, where’s Andrea?”

“He’s putting the final touches in the nursery. We got a diaper table a week ago when we thought we had a few weeks before we had something to put on top of it. Now he’s assembling it and I am praying it doesn’t fall apart and we’re forced to change her in either the kitchen or bathroom counter.” Carina sings to the baby again, “That sounds nice.”

“I used to sing it to Andrea when he was little. I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier I was busy at the station helping with inventory for the clinic and then…”

I see her smile dying down a bit as she looks at my daughter with longing eyes, “And what? Is everything okay?”

“No, I’m fine it’s just that I took a pregnancy test today.”

My eyes widen at that revelation and I tread carefully, “And it was…?”

“Negative.”

I tsk at that, “I’m sorry I know how much you and Maya want a baby but don’t worry there’s always next time. And until then you guys can be the cool, badass aunts who will watch her when Andrew and I need some alone time.”

Carina sighs in despair rocking the baby gently, “At the rate my marriage is going I’m not sure bringing an innocent baby into it is what I want anymore.” I look at her confused and she elaborates further, “Maya has mental health issues.”

“Ah.” I nod knowing full well what she is going through right now.

“And I have lived most of my life living with people with mental health issues and I am good at it. But being in a relationship with someone with mental health issues is something else it’s…no I am not bringing my marital problems on what should be a happy day.” Carina sniffles and looks down at the baby smiling, “I’ve had a bad day but now it’s a good day because even though I don’t have a baby and my wife isn’t here I have a niece I am going to love and spoil for the rest of her life. Isn’t that right bambina?” Carina coos at the sleeping baby.

I sit up further and look her in the eyes so I can help her with her dilemma, “You know it’s okay to be sad about your wife and happy about your niece at the same time. It’s wishful thinking for us to feel one thing our entire lives.”

“Please don’t let me bother you with my problems. It’s not something you should concern yourself with along with new motherhood.”

“I grew up with a schizophrenic mom, a brother who inherited the illness and a husband who lashed out at me when he inherited his father’s illness. I am literally the only person in this world who has insight into your specific problem.” Carina purses her lips at our similarities, “Look you and Maya whatever you’re going through you’ll get through it. I know how frustrating it is to deal with your partner’s problems while they ignore it and take it out on you. The mood swings, the verbal abuse, the questioning where your relationship stands, I have been through it with your brother. It was hell and there was a point where I hated him for doing to me what my mom and brother did to me. I’ve been where you are and the road ahead is not easy, it’s messy and ugly and you’ll feel like your going crazy along with Maya.”

Carina tears up at that and wipes a stray tear while holding my baby, “Is this you trying to make me feel better? Because it’s not working.”

“A messy road like that forced me and Andrew to fight for our relationship and it took a while and I had to tackle a lot of my issues my family put on me. But we came out on the other side stronger than ever. We wouldn’t have done that if the love we shared wasn’t worth it and if we didn’t do that then that little girl wouldn’t be here right now.” Carina grins with tears glistening in her eyes as she looks down at the beautiful baby girl, “Don’t give up, if the love you and Maya have is stronger than your problems then you two can survive this.”

Carina grins grateful to me, “When did you become an optimist?”

“It’s probably the hormones left over.” Carina laughs at that rocking the baby gently.

“Ah bambina you’re not even a day old and your already so popular.” I grin at the baby thinking how much luckier she was than me and thankful I’m giving a good and loving life to her, “I just wish mine and your papa’s mama was here to see you. Your nonna Lucia would have loved you so much and you’d be the most spoiled granddaughter in the world. I’m just grateful to have you in my life now and I’ll be your favorite zia and I’m not gonna tell your aunt Jo.” I chuckle at that and we sit there looking at the baby marveling at the new life. And it was at that moment I knew what to name her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andrew enters Amber’s patient room in his casual gray thermal shirt and jeans since it’s his day off. He finds Amber finishing breastfeeding the baby putting her hospital gown back over her shoulder and the baby looks satiated.

“Hey how are my girls doing?” He grins at them as he sits down next to Amber.

“We’re good she’s already nursing like a pro. Do you want to go to daddy? Let’s go to daddy.” Amber smiles as she carefully hands the baby to Andrew who smiles as he holds her causing the baby to make baby noises and looking up at Andrew with her blue-green eyes that she got from Amber which makes Andrew’s heart swell even more.

“Hi TBD.” Andrew happily greets her, “Oh god we gotta pick out a name otherwise she’s gonna hate us like we hated our parents.”

Amber grins, “I have a name actually, I wanted to run it by you and see what you think.”

“Okay lay it on me let’s see if it’s the one.”

“…Lucia.”

Andrew freezes as soon as he heard it and looks at Amber surprised, “That’s my mother’s name.”

Amber grins at him and explains, “When Carina came by, she kept saying how she wished your mother was here to see her and that’s when I knew what her name was.”

Andrew chuckles softly as a bittersweet ache squeezes his chest. He looks down at the sleeping baby and kisses the top of her small head, “It sounds perfect, Lucia DeLuca.”

Amber nods, “Yeah but maybe we should call her Lucy, doesn’t she look like a Lucy?”

Andrew grins, “She does she very much does.” He continues rocking the baby and turns to Amber with love in his eyes, “I love you; I love both of you thank you for giving me this.”

Amber smiles lovingly, “We love you too.” They then kiss and enjoy this blissful moment with their daughter, Lucy DeLuca.

[crashdevlin]

Leftoverture 3- Carry On

Author’s Note: Don’t get me wrong, I loved the finale, but I was thinking about how much I miss Dean and I couldn’t stop thinking about ways I could have him back so…I’m going canon divergent while being as close to canon as possible. ‘Cause that’s how Cassie do. This is where Leftoverture officially crosses over with Crash Into Me!

Summary: Sam tries to convince Dean to talk to his widow, but it takes a visit from an old friend to get him to do the right thing.

Pairing: Dean x OFC

Word count: 3755

Story Warnings: angst, Post-barn scene sads, mentions of major character deaths (Dean and AU!Sam), mentions of depression, memory fuckery,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, get off the phone. Who are you texting?” Dean asked, looking over at Sam’s thumbs tapping out a message.

“I’m...just letting some people know that you’re back, okay? What?” Sam defended, pulling his phone out of Dean’s reach as his brother tried to grab it.

“She better not be part of that group text, Sam. I will kick your lanky ass.”

“Dean, come on.”

“She has mourned me! She’s probably just starting to get okay and you want me to break that? Not to mention the kid. How are we supposed to explain to her that I’m just suddenly not dead anymore?” Dean pulled over onto the shoulder and glared at Sam until he rolled his eyes and sighed, hitting the X to take his sister-in-law’s number away from the list that included Bobby 2.0, Jody, Donna, Charlie 2.0, and Garth. “Thank you.”

“It’s only been a month. You think she’s starting to get over you already?” Sam finished tapping out his text as Dean pulled back onto the interstate.

“I think I’m a threat to her life as long as I’m in her life, man. I mean, that’s why it took us so long to get together in the first place, because I knew that me being a hunter was gonna put her in the ground and it was just lucky for all of us that it put me in the ground before her.”

“Don’t say th-”

“It’s better for her to think I’m still dead!” Dean exploded. “If she knows I’m alive, she’ll come back to the bunker and she’s gonna end up dead and that’ll be on me! Okay, it’s better if she thinks I’m dead and we keep it that way!”

“So, I guess you’ve made up your mind on this one?” Sam asked.

“Yes!” Dean nodded, somehow still keeping his eyes on the road. “You know what, yes, I’ve made up my mind. Because she deserves to live a life that I’m not ruining. She never wanted the job to encroach on her life, or Rebel’s, okay? Fuck, if I ended up getting that little girl hurt, I could nev--and you know she only agreed to marry me in the first place because Chuck was gonna kill us all anyway and he’s not a problem anymore and what happened to my ring when I bit it? You didn’t burn it with me, did you, because that was a really good silver ring and if you melted it with me, I’m gonna be pissed.”

Sam shook his head in disappointment. “Your wife was wearing it on her thumb last time I saw it.”

Dean sighed and licked his lips. “It’s better this way, Sam. I know you don’t see it, but it’s better.”

“Right. You, uh, you remember when you guys were ‘just friends’ and she started dating that asshole that didn’t know what ‘no’ meant?” Dean’s jaw clenched tight at the memory. “You remember how pissed off you got that she was dating someone, let alone a Dom dickbag like him, and how you spent the entire weekend trying to get dirt on him to use to get her to dump him?”

"He was tryin' to put things in her while she was drunk! He deserved a bullet through the skull for that shit and he's lucky she wouldn't let me go talk to him."

"Yeah, I know. He was a piece of shit, but you didn't know that when we got there. You just didn’t like him because he was dating her."

"I'm a good judge of character and she is not. She dates douchebags. She always has. I mean, look at her cheating son-of-a-bitch ex-husband. If she's dating them, they're douchebags."

Sam rolled his eyes, obviously catching Dean’s self-deprecating undertone in that sentence. "Okay, but you're just gonna let her date someone else? You're gonna let her find some other douchebag to date that you won't be able to save her from?"

"I didn't save her from Mike or Drew. She was already half out the door on both of them before I interceded with either. And I know what you're doing and it's not gonna work." Dean pointed his finger in Sam’s face. "You're not gonna get me all jealous so I go find her because I'm afraid of her getting over me and moving on. I want her to move on. I want her to have a good life. That's the whole point here, man."

"Dean, she's not going to move on. She's gonna be devastated the rest of her life because you aren't-"

"So, we should make it worse by putting her through it twice?!" Dean snapped. "We should make her have to watch me burn another time, right? We should make her clear her shit out of the Bunker in a few years too? We should make her live with the hope that one day I'll manage to make it home again? We should put her heart back together just to shatter it into pieces again when I die permanently? Fuck you, Sam. I can't do it to her. I just...no."

Sam took a deep breath and shook his head sadly. "Fine."

"It's better this way. It's just better."

"Sure. It’s better.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was something cleansing about a simple werewolf hunt. Sam was being a little overbearing, but Dean understood why. Sam didn’t want to see him die anymore than he wanted to die again. There were only two wolves and they went down easy. It was a textbook hunt...just like the vampire cult should have been.

Sam shook away memories of the night in the barn and followed an energized Dean out to the Impala. It wouldn’t happen again. Not anytime soon. Dean was around to stay. Sam would make sure of it.

“So, hit the motel, pizza and beer, head back to the bunker in the morning. Did you report my death to the fire department because I’m still wanting that job and I’ll have to think of one hell of an excuse if you told them I died.” Dean shrugged, continuing before Sam could respond. “I’m gonna need to come up with an excuse either way, but an excuse for a month of radio silence is easier than an excuse for comin’ out of the Lazarus Pit, ya know?”

“I...didn’t say anything to them, Dean. It was really low on my list of priorities to tell the Lebanon Volunteer Fire Department that Dean Campbell was dead.”

“Awesome. I’ll figure out what to tell them. For now...pizza.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No, I know, it was a crazy situation, but I honestly think getting lost in the Yukon without a cell phone was probably the best thing that could have happened to me." Dean laughed into the phone as he walked into the library. "Yeah, exactly. Never gonna take a warm, dry bed for granted again. Well, thank you so much for understanding, Captain. I'm excited to get training. That's gonna be...yeah, I'm gonna be there. Thanks again."

Dean smiled as he tucked his phone into his pocket. "He bought it. Thanks for putting those fake Canadian news pieces up. Appreciate it."

"Okay, but what if someone else searches your fake name, Dean?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "You think she's Googling me?" He stepped forward and looked down at Sam sitting at the library table. "She Googles me and she'll find a story about a man named Dean Campbell getting lost in the Yukon and surviving on moose and wolverine and melted snow. No pic, no identifying words. She'll look at it, say 'It is a miracle this guy survived' and then she'll move on to the next search result, okay? I don't understand why you're all up in my business about this but-"

"You don't miss them?" Sam asked, pushing his hair out of his face and leaning forward.

Dean bit his lip and shook his head. "No, I do not."

Sam stood and looked down into his brother's eyes. "Well, I do."

"Well, they're staying gone." Dean patted his brother's shoulder and walked toward the hall. "Good talk."

He sat on the edge of his bed and ran his hand down his face. Of course he missed her. Of course he missed the little girl he treated as his own daughter...or...the other Dean treated like a daughter. It was just too difficult. Explaining to his wife was one thing, an easy thing. She’d come back in a heartbeat and it would all be fine between them. She wouldn’t care that he wasn’t exactly the same in body, that he had different scars and a slightly different pattern of freckles or that his hair wasn’t quite right even after trying to make it work for four damn days.

She fell for him because of how he treated her, how safe she felt with him, how he made her feel. All of that was in the memories. How he felt about her was in the memories, too. He loved her in a way he'd never been able to let himself love anyone else. She was so much different than any other woman he'd considered making a life with because she was like all the best parts of them all mixed together. She was smart like Cassie Robinson, badass like Jo Harvelle, understanding of the Life without being part of it...with a kid, just like Lisa. He remembered that...and he knew that he'd never find another woman like her.

That was okay. He didn't really want another one: another woman, partner, wife. He couldn’t see himself opening up like that to someone other than his short little badass. And Sam was right that he didn't really want her with someone else, either...but she deserved it. She deserved to get over him and move on to greener pastures. So he had to stay away. For her good, he had to stay dead.

For the good of the little girl, too. If he just came back from the dead, it would completely fuck that little girl's understanding of life and death. It would fuck her up for life.

Dean sighed, picking up his phone and kissing his lock screen; the picture they took on the beach for their honeymoon. He held the phone over his heart for a minute and lied back, staring at the ceiling until sleep took him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean smiled as he sat in a folding chair on the side of a soccer field, watching a short blonde girl dribble a ball between her feet on the green grass. "She's gettin' good," he commented to himself.

"She missed tryouts this year," a familiar voice said. Dean gasped a little as he turned in his seat to look at the angel in the beige trenchcoat. "They moved back to Florida too late for her to be placed on a team."

"Cas? Are you--is this--this is a dream."

"Yes. But...my presence is not." Castiel smiled as Dean stood and wrapped him in a hug. "Jack saved me from the Cosmic Entity from the Empty. We've been improving Heaven."

Dean pulled back and sniffled as he slapped a hand on Cas' shoulder. "Man, where have you been, then? We've missed you."

"Angels stay in Heaven now. Jack and I thought it was best to keep our interference to a minimum." Cas chuckled. "I'm not technically supposed to be here now."

Dean licked his lips. "Well, then...what's with the, uh, Freddy Krueger you're pulling?"

"Dean requested it. He knows what's been happening on Earth, that you've taken on his memories and essentially become him, and he knows that you are avoiding Cassie."

Dean scoffed and stepped back from the angel. "I'm sure he's got an opinion on all this."

"He does. He has a strong opinion on what you're doing and what you should be doing." Castiel stepped closer. "He told me to tell you to get your head out of your ass. He said that, if you have his memories, you're in love with her too and you need to go to her. He knows you couldn’t live with losing her forever...so don't lose her."

"Cas, she's better off without me."

"Is she?" the angel challenged. "Because she’s Dean Winchester’s widow. Doesn't that put a target on her back?"

Dean pressed his lips together in a thin line and looked away. She could handle it...right? "She's got protections...and we taught her to fight. She's gonna be fine."

"Dean told me to tell you that if you don't get in his car and drive to Florida, he's going to 'rip your pansy lungs out'," Cas said, doing air quotes. Dean scoffed. "He was very adamant that you go to her."

"Fine. But it's gonna hurt her. I'm gonna hurt her." Dean was absolutely serious but Cas just smiled and shook his head a little. "Hey, uh, Cas? Before you go...I'm...I'm not gonna get to see you again, right? So, don't you think we should talk about-"

"I think that would be a bit redundant." Castiel’s smile brightened, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes. "Dean and I have spoken at length about my sacrifice and the words spoken before Billie and I were taken to the Empty."

"And?"

"And Dean Winchester’s Heaven is full of people who love and cherish him...who see him for the hero he is. He never believes he's going to hurt any of them. You should learn from his example."

"DEAN! Look!" Dean looked behind him to see the girl kick the soccer ball at the goal. He couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face.

"Great job, Youngblood!" he shouted before turning back around. The angel was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean smiled tightly at Sam as he walked into the kitchen the next morning. “So, uh...I’m gonna take a few days...drive down to Florida.”

Sam’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Dean nodded. “Yeah...Castiel came to me in a dream last night. Said the original me is up there in Heaven and he’s very unhappy with my choice.”

“Really?” Sam was obviously amused.

“Yeah. I don’t know if it was really him or not. Maybe it was just my brain kickin’ me in the ass but...I’m gonna go get ‘em back.”

“Thank you. I was hoping you’d come to your senses.”

“Yeah, yeah, anyway...I’ll be back in a couple days. I’ve got training on Monday so...it’ll be a short trip. Maybe she’ll come back, maybe she won’t but…” He shrugged. “Don’t know ‘til I go talk to her.”

“Good luck, man.”

Dean nodded before heading to the garage. He had plenty of time to get nervous as he drove toward his in-laws’ house in North Florida. A month wasn’t too long. She’d gone longer without him in the past, but...he was alive back then. She knew he’d be back eventually.

He parked the Impala down the street. He wanted to see her before he talked to her. He needed to see how she was working through his death...if she even needed him. Dead Dean told him to go, but if she was moving on, he’d just get back in the car.

She was on the porch when he arrived, coming around the neighbor’s house to hide in the shadows around the side of her parent’s house. “It’s still hard. I don’t think it’s ever not gonna be hard. I still keep wanting to hear that damn Impala coming down the road. But even if I did hear it...I know it’d be Sam.” Dean bit his bottom lip. She was still mourning him. “I don’t know, Manda, but Erik has been a godsend.” His eyebrows went up. Who the fuck is Erik? Did she move on already? “He’s the only reason I get out of bed most mornings. He’s been helping a lot with Aria, driving her to school in the morning and making breakfast. Oh, he makes the best pancakes.” She gave a small chuckle. “Not that I need pancakes. I’ve put on, like, fifteen pounds since he died. Yeah, that is a lot. Erik doesn’t think so either...and Dean wouldn’t care...but I care”

Dean watched her shrug before shaking her head. “I don’t know. He seems nice but...my parents didn’t even know Dean and I got married, so of course Erik doesn’t know. He doesn’t understand...but he’s helping anyway.” She sighed and hummed a little into the air, staring up at the moon. “It’s still just really hard.”

Dean watched as she finished her phone call to her best friend and kept looking up into the night sky. He had to force himself to step around the side of the house and toward her. “Who’s Erik?” he asked. It was the only thing he could think to ask. Green eyes behind thick, dark glasses went wide as she turned to look at him.

“Dean?” she squeaked.

“Mostly,” he whispered as she threw her phone to skim across the grass and launched herself at him. He closed his eyes as she wrapped her arms around him, overwhelmed by the feel of her warmth against him. “Come on, Crash, I taught you better than this. Where’s your silver and holy water, baby?”

“Inside,” she sobbed out into his chest. “But I know you’re you. I can feel it.”

He pressed his lips to her hair and took a step back, leaning down a bit to look directly into her eyes. “I am me, but I’m also...I’m also not. Can we...can we take a walk?”

“Of course!” she agreed, sniffling and wiping at her eyes under her glasses.

They started to walk out of the yard onto the street. “Okay, but before I get into my whole thing...who the fuck is Erik?”

“Oh, he’s a maintenance guy, works with my dad. When I moved to the Bunker, Erik rented my room.”

Dean nodded, his lips pursed. “So, he’s your parents’ tenant and you’re letting him take your daughter to school?”

“My parents trust him...I trust him.” She stuck her hands in her pockets and shrugged. “He’s a nice guy...and he’s a writer, too. He was shocked by the number of notebooks I have. He used to do all of his writing on his computer, but he’s started writing in notebooks since I showed him the versatility of handwriting a story. He said it was like going back to simpler times.”

“Okay. I guess...so, he’s just…”

“He’s just a guy that lives at the house.” She looked over at him as he jammed his hands in his jacket pockets. “So, how are you back? Sam burned you. You shouldn’t be back.”

“You remember when Chuck was destroying the other universes and the other versions of me and Sam showed up? They were fleeing their world.”

“I remember. Sam wouldn’t take his hair down.”

“Right, well...um…” He cleared his throat. “Couple weeks ago, Man-bun Sam died in South America. Werewolves...and Dean couldn’t take it and he did a full wipe of his memories so that he wouldn’t have to remember and Sam went to Rowena to get her to fix it. Her version of fixing it was to give him, give me, your husband’s memories.”

“So, you’re-” She stopped in the middle of the street and turned to look at him. “You’re not my Dean?”

“Of course I am. I’ve got all of his memories. I’ve got all of his love.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Slightly different body...and a different soul. Your Dean is in Heaven. But I’m just like him. I’m exactly like him, Crash.”

She swallowed and searched his face for a few moments before she looked away. “The day we met...why was I crying?”

She was quizzing him, testing his memories, seeing how much like her husband he really was. “Mike left you,” he said quietly. “It wasn’t the first time...or the last. Rebel was about...two years old and you were tryin’ to hold yourself together. We shared some beer and talked about the monster Sam and I put down...and you gave me your number.”

“You, uh, you had a tattoo that I designed...it burned so you don’t have it now, but what-”

“I’ll get the rune again,” he interrupted. “So you can astral to me again.”

“Oh, it is you,” she whispered.

“It is me.” He wrapped her in a hug again and she grabbed at his jacket to hold him to her. “I don’t know how to go about this, though. How are we gonna explain to the kid that-”

“I-I don’t know.” She pulled back and shook her head. “I don’t know if she even caught on to the fact that you were dead...all I said was ‘gone’. I just said you were gone.”

That might make it easier. “Is she back at the house?”

“No. She’s with her father. It’s just Erik and my parents at the house right now.”

“Do your parents know I died? I’m just trying to determine if we can go in or if I’m sleeping in the car tonight.” He smiled at her as she sighed and looked away.

“I told them you broke up with me.”

“So, can I come inside?”

“You’ll have to sleep on the couch...unless you wanna sleep on the floor in Aria’s room. I’ve been sleeping with her on her loft bed since Erik has my old room and bed and all that.”

He smiled and headed toward the house, her hand in his. “She still have that big pile of stuffed animals under the loft?” She nodded and he smirked. “Then I’ll sleep in her zoo.”

She led him into the house and started up the stairs. They were halfway up the stairs when the door to the room that used to be hers opened. “Cass?” a voice asked. Dean stopped in his tracks.

“Didn’t mean to wake you, Erik.”

“It’s okay. I was just worried when you didn’t come back in. Are you-” Shadows fell over Dean and Crash as a figure stepped to the top of the stairs. “Oh, shit.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed as he stepped around his wife and up a few stairs. “What the hell are you doin’ here?” he demanded.

“You’re dead,” the blue-eyed man squeaked.

“About as dead as you’re about to be, Chuck.”

~~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

[doc-pickles]

the storm & the wind

Brooke is running and Alex happens to meet her along her journey. Their brief encounter might just change everything for her.

hey hi hello I am DOUBLE POSTING for some god damn reason. (i updated treacherous on AO3 for the the first time in 20 years) this was in my drafts and I felt the sudden overwhelming need to finish it today. I love this piece more than I can say and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy so I hope y’all enjoy it.

also the title comes from this quote from Little Women: You are the gull, Jo, strong and wild, fond of the storm and the wind, flying far out to sea, and happy all alone.

+

The snow crunching beneath her feet soaks into her worn Converse, a chilling reminder that she should’ve thought to grab something warmer. She makes a mental note to throw her now soaked socks over the heating vent later as she walks into the diner. It’s an old rundown place, but the gust of warm air that brushes over her face as she enters is a more than welcome feeling. Sitting at the counter she knows she should order something to eat but she can’t bring herself to ask for more than a cup of coffee when an aging waitress comes by and asks, her fingers greedily clutching the mug as she takes a sip.

“You’re not really dressed for the weather.”

The voice startles her, her grip around the cup tightening as she turns to her left. The owner of the voice can’t be much older than her, his chiseled jawline dotted with stubble and his dark hair cropped close to his head. He looks grumpy, an expression more at home on someone twice his age but the glint in his eyes keeps his youthful appearance.

“Your shoes are practically soaked through and you have a sweater on in 13-degree weather,” the stranger continues to share his thoughts, his comment prompting her to pull her cardigan tighter around herself. “I’m guessing you’re not from around here Blondie.”

The observation reminds her that the thick braid hanging over her shoulder is a bright bleach blonde instead of her natural brunette coloring. She’d hastily dyed it in a rest stop somewhere in Ohio, desperate to wash away any traces of him that she could.

“I’m from New Jersey. Well… Kind of. I’m originally from Pennsylvania.”

The words slip from her mouth before she can second-guess them. Normally she would worry about giving any identifying information out, the fear of him being able to find her consuming her mind. But she knows now that she’s far from New Jersey and the life she left behind.

“You’re from the East Coast and you didn’t pack a winter coat?”

“I forgot… I was in a rush.”

That part isn’t a total lie, she had been in a rush when she left. She had shoved as much as she could into her suitcase while he had been working, not wanting to face his anger at her sudden departure. Now though she wishes she had put more thought into what she grabbed, she’d been freezing since she left.

“Here, you look like a wet dog shivering like that,” the man slips his thick red flannel off, holding the garment out to her with an expectant look. “Cmon, I don't have fleas or anything.”

She takes the proffered jacket, only because she’s shaking just as much as he says she is. The heavy material settles on her shoulders instantly warming her. The man looks at her for a moment before turning back to his coffee, speaking as he stares at the dark liquid, “If you're from Jersey what the hell are you doing out here? Middle of nowhere Iowa isn’t exactly a tourist destination.”

“I’m starting over, running away from… something. At least I think I am. I’m not quite sure,” she toys with the sleeves of his jacket, finally looking back up at him after a moment with an accusing tone. “Why do you care anyways? Are you just trying to make sure I don’t have any concerned family members that will come looking for me after you kidnap and murder me?”

There’s a momentary pause before a peel of laughter erupts from the man, a glint taking over his dark eyes as he speaks, “Jesus, you’re really paranoid or something, huh?”

“Or something,” the words are barely a whisper, but they’re loud enough for him to hear and stop his laughter. She looks up and meets his eyes, noticing how he looks her over as if trying to figure out exactly what she’s thinking.

“I’m not trying to kill you, just trying to make conversation,” as if to prove his point he holds his hand out towards her. “I’m Alex.”

She hesitates only for a moment before settling her hand into his much larger one.

“I’m Brooke.”

+

The conversation seems easier after that, Alex talking about bringing his younger brother home after he had visited him in Seattle and Brooke talking about how she just finished her pre med degree at Princeton. They actually had a lot in common, an almost comforting feeling for her since Paul had isolated her from all her friends.

Paul.

She didn’t dare bring up her abusive husband or the horrors he had dragged her through. No, today she’s not poor defenseless Brooke Stadler whose husband can’t control his temper. Today she’s just Brooke, recent college grad who’s eating breakfast with Alex, the cute doctor with a charming smile.

“So why’d you say you’re starting over,” Alex finally broaches the subject as they both finish their meals. “I mean you just finished pre-med, that means you’re starting med school in the fall right? What are you running from? ”

Brooke shrugs, eyes falling to her now empty plate and she avoids Alex's piercing stare, “I’m supposed to start at Princeton med but now I’m not so sure. A lot has happened lately… It's complicated.”

Alex‘s hand reaches out for her arm, the move causing her to jump slightly. An embarrassed blush paints itself on her cheeks as Alex searches her eyes, almost as if he knows what she’s thinking about. He seems to brush the thought off quickly though as he continues to prod at her.

“Well… Did you get in anywhere else? It’s not too late to change your mind,” Alex shrugged as if sensing Brooke’s discomfort with the situation. “I was supposed to do my residency at the hospital down the street before I switched to Seattle at the last minute. Best thing I probably could’ve done for myself.”

“Well… I got into Harvard too. But I’m not sure,” there’s hesitation lacing her voice when she knows there shouldn’t be. Her mind is swirling, thinking about the fact that she could always go back to him. “I don’t know, I was thinking about going back home.”

Alex scoffs, the small noise causing Brooke to stare at him intensely, “You're not going back home, that’s a load of crap.”

“What makes you so sure about that? You don’t know anything about me.”

There’s a pause as Alex takes a sip of his coffee, a deliberate distraction as he attempts to string together the right words, “Well that black eye isn’t hidden as well as you think it is. And you jumped about a mile in the air when I first started talking to you. So I’m assuming you’re not running from something but someone. Did I get it right?”

Brooke’s fingers froze around her mug, eyes watering as she stared blankly at the dark liquid swirling inside. She pushes down the uncomfortable lump forming in her throat, trying to convince her nerves that Alex was just observant and not a threat.

“My husband… he has a temper,” eyes still focused on the coffee instead of Alex, Brooke found it marginally easier to talk about the real reason she was sitting in a diner in Iowa. “I just knew, the last time he… I just knew if he did it again he would kill me. So when he went to work I grabbed as much as I could and I got in my car and I drove. I don’t think I stopped for almost five hours, not really knowing where I was going. I just knew I had to keep going, that I couldn’t live like that any longer.”

The sounds of the diner around them are all Brooke can hear as her truth settles in the air, Alex taking in everything she’d ungraciously word vomited out. When he finally does speak again, there’s no tell tale tone of pity in his voice that she’d been anticipating.

“My dad was the same way, but my mom never had it in her to run. She was pretty messed up herself,” Brooke looks up at the stranger next to her as a small chuckle breaks through his serious tone. “She wouldn’t run so I had to raise my siblings, I had to make sure we all stayed alive. So I get it, why you’re running. And for what it’s worth, I think you should keep running.”

Swiping at the tears that had collected under her eyelashes Brooke thought about Alex’s words, “He's gonna find me, I know he will.”

“Screw him,” Alex scoffs, taking a swig of his coffee before continuing. “Go to Harvard, change your name, live your life. I promise you, you’ll regret it if you turn around and go back. You have a chance, a real chance, to change your life. Don’t let that slip away.”

There’s a beat of silence as Alex’s encouragement settles deep within Brooke’s chest. The man was a stranger in every sense of the word but somehow his whole hearted belief in her encouraged her to keep moving forward.

“Think of it this way, you get to start a brand new life, no strings attached,” Alex continues. “You can pick something cool! Something that means something. Like… One of those sisters from the book where their dad is away at war?”

“Little Women?”

“Yeah that one,” Brooke laughs at Alex’s statement, causing him to roll his eyes. “Oh shut up, my sister was obsessed with it and made me read it like a hundred times. But all those sisters were badasses, you could use one of those names. Like Amy or Beth. Well no she dies… How about Jo! You definitely look like a Jo to me.”

Brooke’s nose scrunches up at the names, causing both of them to laugh as Alex comes up with ridiculous suggestions. A flood of relief washes over Brooke as the two continue to talk. It had been a long time since she’d let her guard down around someone and just been herself.

A while later she excuses herself to the bathroom, a flash of disappointment striking her when she comes back to an empty seat. Her bill that had been sitting on the counter was paid, the receipt turned over and messy scrawl covering the back.

‘Keep running.’

-

So she does, Brooke keeps running and running and running and she doesn’t stop. In fact, when the running doesn’t feel like enough anymore she takes up actual running to calm her mind.

She runs every morning, at least two miles to clear her head and to keep herself sane. The days she misses her run are filled with overwhelming thoughts and anxiety that courses through her veins so quickly that it feels like a river crashing over her nervous system. She changes her name, cuts her hair, goes to Harvard and graduates top of her class. Every movement, every breath feels like she’s just moving towards the end of a never ending trail. But she keeps going, she keeps running because it’s all she can do.

When she gets accepted into Seattle Grace, one of the best hospitals in the country that puts thousands of miles between her and her past, it finally feels like a breath of fresh air, like relief is on the horizon. So she leaves Boston, leaves the east coast and everything familiar and finally feels like she might be able to stop running.

Seattle is different, it’s new and unexpected and perfect. It’s the first place where her name feels like it’s truly hers even though she’d lived with it now for almost seven years. Her first morning in her new apartment she goes for a run and finds herself looking over the Seattle harbor with a wide smile on her face. She’s a doctor now, something she’s worked towards her whole life it seems, but now it seems so real.

And then she gets put onto a Peds rotation and her heart seems to stop beating in her chest. Because her attending, Doctor Karev, is someone who’s appeared in her mind almost everyday since the first time she met him. His face, albeit a bit younger, is the one that appears when she thinks she can’t go on any longer.

“You mind?”

Alex’s voice brings her back from her daze, the same one that echoes her footfalls as she chases an adrenaline high every morning. She shakes her head in a futile attempt to clear it, “Sorry.”

“Why are you following me,” there’s an annoyed tone to his voice as she mimics his brisk pace down the hallway. She’d heard horror stories about him, about how rude and mean he was but she never would've guessed it was him.

“I'm your intern for the day.”

“Oh. Well, hello, intern,” Alex side eyes her, not really taking her in. “You have a name?”

“Jo. Jo Wilson,” it’s probably the fiftieth time she's said her name out loud since coming to Seattle but this time it feels different.

There’s a pause and Alex turns to take her in once more, as if he had missed something the first time he’d looked. She almost thinks he’ll say something, but he just shrugs and returns to tying his trauma gown, “Oh, nice. I like chicks with boys' names.”

The moment that she thought was there was gone and she stared at her shoelaces as Alex and Doctor Torres prattled on about something. She figures she should be grateful that he didn’t recognize her, that the seven years and the constant self improvement she’d put into herself had paid off. Still, her heart sunk as she realized that the man that had pushed her to keep running, to change her life, didn’t remember her.

-

Their story isn’t easy, in fact it’s one of the hardest things she’s ever been through. But there’s not a single ounce of hesitation or regret in her body when she wakes up every morning next to him. She’s always up before him, solely so she can get her run in before he wakes. By the time she comes back and showers, his eyes are sleepily staring up at her and his arms are reaching out for her like she’d been gone longer than a quick jog.

Alex is the person she’d needed, the one who pushed her to be better and made her feel like she didn’t need to change anything about herself. But the need to run, to keep running still hammered in her chest right under her heartbeat. She figured it would always sit there, the constant anxiety that her past might catch up with her if she stopped running.

When Paul shows up, all she wants is Alex. Before Seattle she would've run, would’ve been gone before anyone could blink to miss her. But now she wants nothing more than to curl up in Alex’s arms and never leave. She knows there’s more that needs to be done though, knows there’s more to the fight and that she needs to keep running this last little bit.

It’s not until she sees her ex husband laying in a hospital bed brain dead that Jo finally feels like she can breathe again, like she can stop fighting and just be. The breath of relief that washes over her as Alex runs his hand down her back feels like a thousand pound weight being lifted off her shoulders.

“I was pregnant.”

There’s a pause and she can feel Alex tense next to her, his hand on her back slowing as his eyes bore into her. She wishes she could stop but the words have been dying to slip out for the past six years that she’s been with him.

“The day we met, I was pregnant,” she turns to look at him, tears shining in her eyes. He doesn’t look shocked, not as shocked as he would’ve been if he didn’t know too. “I almost turned around and went back to him and raised a baby with him but I didn’t. The only reason I didn’t was because of this cocky asshole I met in a shitty diner who convinced me to start over. You’re the reason I kept running, the reason I didn’t go back. Whenever I doubted myself I heard your voice, the voice of a complete stranger mind you, in the back of my head telling me to keep running. You... you’re the reason I’m alive.”

Alex keeps his gaze on her for a minute, not daring to look away as they both realize that the other has known. Through the years of their relationship, since their second meeting in the very halls of this hospital they’ve both known exactly who the other is.

“You did all of that by yourself, you just needed a little push,” Alex brings her close again, his lips brushing against her forehead as she folds herself into his side. She’s crying full on now, her chest shaking as she finally lets herself stop running and lets the pent up emotions of the past few days wash over her. “I knew you could do it, I’m glad you did.”

Her tears don’t stop for a few days as she comes to terms with the fact that there’s no longer a need for her to run. In fact a few days later as she’s on her morning jog she stops and takes the deepest breath she feels she’s ever taken. As she leans on her knees she takes in the feeling of air freely flowing through her lungs, the exhilaration coursing through her body akin to what she thinks completing a marathon must feel like. Her eyes scan the Seattle harbor, taking in the sunrise as she breathes heavily and lets the day settle in around her. She'd run her race, she’d run it longer and faster and better than she’d thought she was capable of and finally, finally, she had finished.

[takaraphoenix]

Grey’s Anatomy: Review

Took me four months, but I have successfully watched all 16 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy - and what there is of season 17. Figured it deserves some words.

HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS SHOW? SO MUCH?

(To set the appropriate mood for this and give you a TL;DR.)

That being said to open it up, it is most definitely not flawless. So let’s start there. For me, the one big flaw it has is really the writers’ cuckolding kink. So. Much. Cheating. And - worse than the cheating plots - the cheating apologism. They echo the exact same sentiment so often, that cheating is only one mistake and humans make mistakes. That’s... at one point, that stops being a plot device and starts to be very telling about the writer, to be quite frank.

That being said, let’s roll out the positive. And let’s kick it off with something that relates to all the cheating; so many forced love-triangles, but they usually don’t include toxic rivalries. It’d be so easy to have the men throw punches over the women or the women pull hair and scratch each other’s eyes... so many other rom-drama shows do it already, after all. But, honestly, the two lose ends on the love V (because these things ain’t triangles) usually have such a good dynamic with each other, ranging from civil to friendships to deep mentor ships - Meredith and Addison, Mark and Jackson, Cristina and Teddy? Seeing these dynamics, quite frankly, makes having to sit through a love-triangle-nonsense actually more than bearable.

The most impressive thing about the show is, to me, the amount of rep on it. I mean sure, the main lead is white and I’d estimate half the overall cast are white, but even from the get go - in 2005 - the ratio of white actors versus actors of color in the main cast was five to four. And they’re not background or side characters - I mean, two of them are, aside from Meredith, the only ones to still be around on season 17. They all have their own plotlines, their own relationships and troubles and struggles. It’s not just the Meredith show, not by far.

And beyond that, the queer rep on this show is... honestly mindblowing? I mean, seriously?

They introduced their first queer character in season 2, in 2005, when other procedual dramas that aired then in large parts just... never... added queer characters. And sure! Joe was only a recurring character and not a main character, but he was recurring for six seasons, he recurred a lot, he got established, he and his husband partook in the plot. And, again, this was just the beginning, back in 2005.

They’ve since then steadily broadened their horizon and become more inclusive.

Recurring and main character wise, we’ve had 5 lesbians, 5 bisexual women, 4 gay men and 2 trans characters over these 17 seasons. That’s a very solid list, honestly. If I look at other shows, again especially procedual dramas that are still largely aimed at a more conservative audience, the fact that we’ve had actual queer storylines in every single season since season 2? That’s amazing.

Even more so on the one-off characters, to be quite honest. Just... casually, this patient has two moms, this man is visited by his husband, here the child of the patient is nonbinary, look this patient is in a polyamorous relationship. Sure, those are only the one-off episodical characters, but you have no idea how much that matters too.

I know I’m repeating myself with this, but especially when compared to other procedual dramas, where the characters are often only queer when it’s important to the plot. He got beaten up and ended up in the hospital because he was gay. She got killed because she was trans. They’re motivational and important to the plot (and also usually used to victimize the characters).

The fact that this show, even 10+ years ago already, just... included queerness as part of our reality, included it casually, positively and repeatedly - really, it’s not just like it’s one episode per season like it’s some obligation, it happens a lot? For no actual needed plot reason, she just has a wife and she’s just happily married to her wife and that’s it, because queer people exist.

And I just, I struggle to express how much this casual rep means to me? And how it becomes even more amazing if you consider how long ago it started? And if you add to it the steady prominent recurring/main character rep?

Sure, it’s not perfect - the majority of their characters of color are black; it’s not overly diverse when it comes to what characters of color it included, it took forever to include the second Asian character and the first Muslim character and it could feature a broader variety of ethnicities, just like it could offer a broader variety of queer experiences, I mean it took them forever to introduce the first mlm main character and they have yet to include a bisexual man, I’d also just love to see an ace character or a polyamorous character, to paint a contrast to the sex-obsession and cheating plotlines - but... it’s doing more than many others and I do think it deserves praise for that and it keeps improving. They didn’t just add Erica and Callie as the first wlw couple and then stuck to only having two queer ladies on screen at the same time and never more, just constantly replacing Callie’s girlfriend. They kept adding more, they keep adding more.

Now, on to my absolute favorite thing about this show.

Because, let’s make one thing clear, I hate cheating and under other circumstances the amount of cheating on this show would have driven me off it ten seasons ago. But despite all of the very forced romance drama and sex obsessed allos on the show, that is not the show’s main focus.

This was never mainly about the romance. It’s always been about the platonic relationships first and foremost. Romances changed and broke up and got complicated, but what prospered were the friendships and found family relationships.

Cristina and Meredith are the defining relationship of this show. They are... friendship portrayed in a way I have never seen friendship portrayed before. The writing on their dynamic is just amazing.

And when Cristina leaves the show, the shift to Meredith-Alex and to the sister-dynamic between Meredith, Maggie and Amelia really works.

Personally, after watching the show, I’ve come to divide it into three arcs, each with a Part A and a Part B.

The first arc of the show - spanning seasons 1 to 5 - are about Meredith, Cristina, George, Izzie and Alex. And they explore the dynamic between those five and the individual relationships between them all, so very well. This was really found family done right.

Arc 2 is what I dubbed the rebranding arc - seasons 6 to 10. In Part A (s6 to s8), we got the focus on the Mercy West merger, ending in the horrific plane crash. While Part B is what I call the outfall, season 9 dealing with the outfall from the plane crash and season 10 being all about that Meredith-Cristina outfall.

I love Arc 1 a whole lot, it’s really good. I think Arc 2 is good too, especially the plane crash and its outfall were very gripping and well done, but I do think that this middle part earns the dub as rebranding because it feels like the show itself is trying to find its footing, trying to figure out a direction after MAGIC graduated into residents (and, inevitably, fell apart with the death of George and the departure of Izzie). It’s a bit unfocused on where it wants to go and I still loathe the big misunderstanding nonsense of season 10 (but am glad that Meredith and Cristina rekindled before Cristina’s departure).

Arc 3 is the sisters arc, where the Meredith-Maggie-Amelia dynamic rules, with a more uneven split between A and B, because A spans seasons 11 to 16 for me and is lovingly dubbed the Merlex arc by me, while B is just... season 17; the corona pandemic is really shifting the tone and focus and it coincides with the departure of Alex.

I’m more mixed on it than I am on the other two. For me, Cristina and Meredith just are the heart and soul of the show, so despite just how brilliantly they handled that all, I still miss them (though I greatly appreciate the fact that she still regularly comes up through phone calls, texts, etc). I greatly disliked Alex’s departure (which is a rant of its own).

On the overall, I would actually rank them in order - the first five seasons were my favorite, followed by the awkward middle because it still added brilliant things to it regardless, and despite coming in last, I do also love the second half of the show with the sisters in the focus.

I do admit that I had high hopes that Jo would become Meredith’s new person in season 17, considering the tremendous growth their relationship had - especially considering how Meredith crawled into Jo’s bed and was the one to coax what had happened with her mother out of her; that was “my person” behavior, quite frankly, and I also thought that Alex’s departure might bring them closer. I truly did not like Alex’s parting words to Meredith that she’s always been her own person.

Well, duh. Meredith Grey is an absolute badass. Which, also a thing I love a lot about this show. She is so incredibly strong and brilliant and takes care of herself.

But the point of her having her person was never that she needed someone else to stand in for her; it was to have someone around whom she didn’t have to be that strong. Someone she could come to to be weak around, someone to have her back when everything became too much. You just... can’t do that for yourself. So that sentiment was just incredible rubbish and I will be very mad if they truly have her embrace that nonsense, because she deserves someone like that.

Lastly, let’s talk romantic relationships. Very broadly, I assure you - I wouldn’t even have the patience to tackle them all, I mean seriously everyone has had sex on this show, or so it feels (no but seriously, the amount of overlapping ships on this show is ridiculous).

The only note I do have on that is that... nothing lasts forever. Quite frankly, the most “endgame” ships on this show are Richard/Catherine and Ben/Miranda (which, bless them, those two are literally my favorite of the canon ships). Everything else is just... fair game? They change, they break up, even if you absolutely hate a ship - don’t worry, it’s gonna end soon.

And occasionally, that... is even more rewarding than seeing a couple you do like get together? I mean, honestly, watching a ship you dislike for x reasons and then having them break up on screen and a character actually listing x reasons to the other’s face? Very carthatic.

I also have to mention the adoption positivity; Meredith and Derek adopt a child, not as a last resort after all else has failed, but simply because they fell in love with that little girl, Ben and Bailey took in Joey, because they have big hearts. So often, adoption is only shown as that very, very last option after you wasted thousands of dollars on all other biological options and then it is like a tragic compromise or something. Seeing them just... fall in love with this baby and adopt her and love her is so refreshing?

This show is just... really, really good? The writing is brilliant. I mean, this show made me laugh more than some comedies have? It’s funny, poignant and... not overly dramatic? I mean, of course it’s dramatic - it’s a drama. But it’s more... grounded. Even with some outstandingly extreme things happening, it is still very down to Earth, compared to other dramas that feel the need to go higher and more bizarre each season. It’s incredibly consistent, it includes so much rep and actual plotlines for every character, it really draws out relationships - familiar, platonic, romantic - in such great details.

I just really love this show.

[itsme-autumn]

Inner Darkness  |  Part 1

Author: @itsme-autumn Pairing: Jax Teller x OC Warnings: swearing, violence

Jolene, or Ruby now that she was about to be on the clock, tried to give herself her regular pep talk on her drive to work. It was something she had to do since she’s started down this particular career path more than seven years ago. 

Jo? Jo was sassy. She was a woman who could take care of herself. Get shit done. She had always been on her own and she’d always made it work. Jo was smart. Colorful. Fun.

But on her drive to work, she had to let Jolene go. She had to let go of Jo and take on Ruby.

Ruby was much more docile. Ruby loved to please. Ruby would sweet talk a man and become his biggest fantasy. Ruby was bubbly and polite. Maybe she was a bit cheeky or even wild if that’s what he–whoever he was–wanted.

And whenever he was inside her, she was–well, she was no one. She turned herself off completely. She’d gotten so good at it over the years that she didn’t even remember most of her encounters. Only the especially memorable ones. The ones she wished she could erase from her memory permanently.

Walking into the doors of Diosa, Ruby starts to head to the back first to drop off her stuff. Before she gets there, Nero catches sight of her and waves her over.

“Hey, Ruby, how you doin’ mama?” His kind eyes searching hers. 

She smiles through her exhaustion, she can’t help it with Nero. Jo hated this work, hated this life. But in the short time she’d been at Diosa he had been nothing but kind to her, seeming to sincerely care about her well being. That wasn’t a given in this industry, not by a long shot. “I’m okay, Nero, what’s up?” 

“I’ve actually got a special job for you and a few of the girls tonight. A party for a potential business partner. Think you’re up for that?”

She’s had ‘bosses’ in the past that didn’t ask–just pointed to where her ass was supposed to go. And she wouldn’t dare argue. She knew if she really had issue with it, that Nero wouldn’t force her into anything, his sister on the other hand... 

Unfortunately, Jo was in no position to turn down any jobs.

“Yeah, of course. I just need the address and the dress code.” She tries to infuse as much enthusiasm into her voice as possible. 

This was going to be a long ass night.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Why the hell are we here so early?” Bri whined. “There are like...kids here.” Her tone disgusted.

Carla rounded on her, Jo was surprised her heels didn’t stick on the floors, the MC clearly didn’t have room in their outlaw budget for a mop. Or air freshener. 

“We are showcasing what Diosa girls have to offer. The difference between us and them.” Carla’s voice was low but venomous as she nodded her head to a couple of girls that were setting up behind the bar.

“Those girls are called croweaters. They’re desperate, classless, and the patches treat them as such. We set a new standard.” Carla took another step towards Bri, eyes boring into hers. “Diosa specializes in women that men can actually bring around town before enjoying them behind closed doors. It’s about presentation. We can be here early with the families and friends of the MC–and not be obvious hookers that the old ladies will immediately throw out. Understand?”

Jo just rolled her eyes. Like anyone would ever take any of them for anything other than whores. It’s like putting lipstick on a pig. 

She tugged on her dress. Horny Biker Chick was the look she was going for per Nero’s classification. Her her dress was simple, but effective: black, strappy, and tight. Paired with black heels smoky makeup, Jo knew she would get the intended attention. That, plus what she already had going for her.

She realized why she was asked to be a part of this exclusive offer tonight. Being chubbier than most of the girls, having tattoos (more than just a butterfly above her ass), and a mop of dark curly hair made her a bit of a required taste.

For some it was a fetish of sorts. Others, usually high caliber business men wanted the antithesis of what they got at home–thin, prim, proper to her thick, blunt, and alternative. 

But badass bikers were right up her alley. Suddenly her desired presence despite Carla leading the group tonight made sense. Any other job and Carla would have made any excuse to exclude Jo–Ruby–like she always tried to do.

Ruby made her way over to the other side of the room, the party was still pretty subdued, most people quietly mingling amongst themselves. The large wall full of framed mugshots caught her eye. She couldn’t help but smirk and roll her eyes as she looked them over. Boys. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were intimidated.”

You turn to see one of the mugshot models in the flesh. He could totally pass for a model, you think before you can stop yourself. Between the slicked back blonde hair, well kept goatee, and piercing blue eyes, you don’t think you’ve ever seen a biker this pretty. And that smirk he’s giving you is really giving something to you.

“Intimidated? You should see the wall of mugshots in my living room.” Your snarky reply only makes his smirk grow. Sass was always your love language.

That’s when you notice the President patch. Oh shit. 

President of SAMCRO. Jesus Christ. No pressure or anything.

Jax is looking at Ruby expectantly and she now realizes that she’s completely missed what he’s asked her.

“I’m sorry, what?”

His eyes light up at her distracted state. “What’s your name, darlin’?”

“Um, J–Ruby, it’s Ruby.”

“Ruby, I’m-”

“Jax! Why are you wasting your time with her?” Bri is suddenly at Jax’s side, slipping her arm into his. “Trust me, baby, you want someone who knows what they’re doing to take care of you.” She then turns her attention to Ruby. “Ruby, why don’t you go get us some drinks? Better make yours a diet, though, honey.”

Ruby was never one to let a bitch get the last word in, and that was being a bit of a bitch herself. She narrows her eyes and quirks her head. 

“Wow, Bri, I didn’t know you were a nutritionist! Thats so great. And people say your only talent is sucking cock.” Bri’s eyes widen, but Ruby’s not done. “Now you can keep track of how much cum you can swallow before your bony ass gets a shape.”

Ruby hears Jax attempt to stifle a laugh as she walks away. It’s then that she hears a member shout from the door of the clubhouse.

“Jackie! We need ya outside brutha!” the scottman’s tone indicating that it’s urgent.

Jax immediately runs outside, along with a couple of members. Bri shoots daggers at Ruby with her eyes but doesn’t make a move towards her, instead heading to the bar. Smart bony ass bitch.

Wanting some water but not caring to go round two with Bri, Ruby heads to the small kitchen off the main room. Searching the cabinets, she finally grabs a glass and fills it up with the tap water from the sink. Turning around, she leans against the counter and takes a sip. 

How did I get here? 

She shakes her head. No. You can’t do this here. You need to keep your head in the game, Jolene. Get your shit together.

Jo takes a deep breath and sets her glass in the sink. 

All right, let’s do this.

She takes a step out of the kitchen when she hears a scream and tires screeching. She looks around and notices a little blonde boy all alone, no older than two. 

Then she hears gunshots. 

Glass shattering.

More screams.

Absolute chaos.

And the boy is in the middle of all of it. 

No.

Jo makes a run for the boy, dodging other Diosa girls and croweaters in her path. Once she makes it to him, she picks him up and drops to the ground, crouching behind a table. Shots are firing from the outside in, bullets and shattered glass flying everywhere. 

The boy is crying, but remains still underneath Jo, her body caging him in protection. She squeezes her eyes shut and murmurs encouragement to him. She doesn’t even know what she’s saying but she hope it helps. Glass is on the floor, digging into Jo’s arms, but she doesn’t dare move.

After what seems like an eternity, the gunshots stop. The chaos seems to settle down. Distraught cries replace the screams in the disheveled clubhouse.

The main doors burst open, members pouring through, with Jax leading.

“ABEL!”

“ABEL!”

The little boy squirms from Jo’s grasp and moves his little legs as fast they can carry him. “Daddy!” 

Jax spots him and bends down to scoop his son up, holding him close to his chest. Jo makes the connection as she sees the reunion from her position still crouched on the floor.

The last thing Jo sees is Jax peering at her from over the boy’s shoulder before her vision goes black.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

A/N: So this is my first OC story that I’m trying! Hopefully it’s clear that when she’s more herself she’s Jo and when she’s in ‘work’ mode she’s Ruby. Please let me know what you think!

Jax Tag List: (let me know if you’d like to be added/removed!) jenny885, melissataggart87, misssara1981, lokilvrr, innerpaperexpertcloud, alievans007, calirindo, leapingoveroblivion, curly-minnie, coffeebooksandfandom, mrsjaxtellerfan, mrspeacem1nusone

[beclynn-herondale]

Carstairs siblings.

( for my fic I am writing called the next gen of shadowhunters and downworlders) ( Mina Carstairs and the world belong to Cassandra Clare)

Name: Wilhelmina Yiqiang Ke Carstairs.

Age: 19

Nickname/s: Mina, Min Min, Mina Mine, Silly Melon, Little Mina by jem and family and friends. Badass warrior woman by some. Terrifying Carstairs by some. The Future of Women by Charlie Herondale, The Beautiful Mina Carstairs by Charlie Herondale. Babe by Charlie Herondale

Parabatai: Charlie Herondale

Gender: female

Sexuality: Heterosexual/Bi curious

Personality: She is sarcastic at times and serious at others, She can be Reckless which makes her and her parabatai and dangerous combination sometimes, she isn't afraid to say what she thinks whatever it may be. She is a free flower some say. She isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes in or the people she cares about and loves. She will show Affection to those she loves and cares for, she will angst out with her parabatai. She can be Calm as well and Is very kind and loving. Though often fears her powers seeing how they are demonic. And she can be Hateful towards herself for her demonic powers. Even though Charlie, her Mom and Dad and others Assure her there is nothing wrong with her powers and that her half brother James Herondale once felt the same about his. With Charlie she feels comfortable her Parabatai was her best friend and more, but also had powers even if they are angelic but she is still not like the other shadowhunters. She loves to read with Charlie and Charlie often falls asleep on Mina's lap or shoulder she Cherishes these moments with her Parabatai. She is the kind of person you want to have on your side in a battle, she is smart and is talented. She is Quite at times and Is Extremely supportive of the ones she loves and care about. She has a sword and she's not afraid to use it. She can see Ghosts including her half siblings who she often Talks with nobody but Charlie and her Siblings know about this though. She loves her Parabatai so much it hurts sometimes everyone Thinks her Parabatai to be Unintelligent or A Bimbo as the modern age would call it but She knows her Parabatai and will Fight those Fuc***s if she has to. Her Father Jem Carstairs often says her and Charlie's relationship reminds him of His and His Parabatai's Will Herondale relationship, she has to admit that's one of the best compliments she could receive to live up to even a fragment of what her father was and is. She cares for her siblings like a second mom, She wants to travel all kinds of Places and learn as much as she can. And she knows who she would travel with it would be Charlie and Charlie's Girlfriend Marisa Helen Rosales-kingson-Blackthorn or as they call her Mari, and Mina's Boyfriend Max Lightwood-Bane the best People for Traveling Mina thinks. Mina can seem like she's overconfident but she's not she just knows what she can do and is capable of. She will talk with her uncle Will aka Will Herondale and he will make her laugh and cheer her up, and will tell her she is a very special girl who has amazing parents who is proud of, and loves with all he has.

Physical description: Mina has Dark Grey eyes and long unruly Black Hair, she is pale like her Mother and has the Slender features of her Father but has her Mother's Chin, she may be slender but is strong and has muscle. She is skilled in the ways of fighting and hand to hand combat basically she can kick your ass but won't unless you push her to. She is very beautiful. She has a kind looking face. She has Almond shaped eyes that are sharp. She is said to be Muscular as well not extremely but she has muscle. She usually wears Jean's and tshirts. She'll wear suits and blouses. She wears shorts and tank tops. She wears sneakers and combat boots and shadowhunter gear. She loves to wear pjs. She loves leather jackets and hoodies. She also has a necklace that belonged to Cordelia Carstairs and she holds it dear. It has a Sapphire in it with. Ruby and has a gold Chain.

Name: Jonah Alastair Carstairs ( I will add a Chinese name as well once I do research. )

Age: 15

Nickname/s: Jone, Jonah love, baby boy, sweet Jonah by family and jem and tessa, Jo Jo by Mina, Jone Bug by Charlie don't question this Charlie has interesting mind. My Precious Twin by Cecy Carstairs, (might add on later)

Parabatai: Future Parabatai Vivanne Blackthorn-Panhellow

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual

Personality: he is sweet and quiet, he is often described as all that is good, he is loved by almost everyone who meets him. He is kind and will often those who are in need. He has deep respect for his older siblings and hopes to be as great as them he says, Even though he is great in his own ways. He cam be curious and adventurous. He is extremely loving and will hug you if you're having a hard time, he loves books and instruments. He also plays the violin very well like his father and enjoys the same books as his mother. He has a little crush on Charlie Herondale his big sisters Parabatai but he finds Tessa Maryse Herondale Clary and Jace's Second daughter one of the most beautiful people has ever seen, the poor boy is conflicted by the beauty of the herondales. He often talks to his half brother James Herondale who is a Ghost and Asks for advice, in which James replies with just because I married Cordelia Carstairs doesn't mean I know how or why she choosed me. I didn't deserve the kindness she always gave me. And Jonah gets more confused. And so he asks his other half sibling Lucie Herondale who is also a Ghost and she says follow your heart little Joan and never let them tell you what your heart holds. And he starts to cry because he's an emotional babe ok. And will cry at the littlest things a affectionate moment between someone or dog commercials where they are asking for dogs to he adopted, and yes he does ask Tessa and Jem if they Can get a Dog and they end up getting a Corgi who they name Gabe after years of asking their parents. Jonah sneaks Gabe into bed with him because the dog is extremely snuggly and loves his family very much. And when they visit the Herondale Family who have a golden retriever named Em Em , they bring Gabe so he can play with her and you can find Tessa Herondale and Jonah Carstairs playing with the Dogs with dorky smiles on their Faces. Something Jonah loves is how he's one of the only people who cam make Tes as he calls her laugh unconditional it makes him feel strange but happy. He doesn't know what the feeling is but he doesn't care as long as he can hold onto their friendship it's enough.

Physical description: he has light brown hair and Dark eyes like his Father, he is slender but strong, he looks like his mama in the face except like his father around the eyes. He is tall for his age but some say he may just grow fast and stop early, although seeing as how his parents are tall they expect him to be tall. He and his twin sister Cecy look almost identical except she has black hair and blue eyes. He may be skinny but he has muscle as well. He is often described as beautiful and very handsome. He has one of the kindest faces. His eyes are filled with kindness and lovingness. His smile is beautiful. He has think lips. And almond shaped eyes that are sharp. He has hands of a musician, they are slim and long, and look delicate. He often wears Jean's and tshirts. He will dress up In suits if he has to. He wears sneakers and combat boots. He usually likes tshirts with sayings on them or vintage tshirts and music band tshirts. He likes to wear ripped Jean's usually black or grey but will wear blue. He likes jackets and hoodies. He wears a bracelet that belonged to Lucie Herondale as a way to carry his half sister with him even when though she is dead and is a ghost but she can't always be with him so he carries it with him. It is silver with emeralds in it, it is beautiful.

Cecily Jessie Carstairs ( again I will add a Chinese name to her when I find one )

Age: 15

Nickname/s: Cecy, Little Fighter, Wild Child, Baby Girl, Little Girl with a big Heart, by family and friends. Ce Ce by Charlie, a force to be reckoned with by Charlie. Old Soul. Twin of Mine by her twin Jonah Carstairs.

Parabatai: Becky Lightwood.

Sexuality: Bisexual

Personality: She is stubborn and is not the type to back down, she teases the people she's close with but it's her way of showing affection. She is kind, and Always does the Right Thing. She loves deeply and fiercely. She often reminds men and boys that girls and women are strong as well and can kick ass. She is skilled in fighting for her age but has put countless hours into training to achieve it. Her and her Parabatai Sophie Lightwood are a great team and have an amazing friendship, they have a close bond which Cecy cherishes. Whenever she needs someone to lean on Sophie is there, and if Sophie needs someone Cecy is there. She loves the herondales they are some of her best friends. She is also friends with the blackthorn children and the Rosales-Kingson-Blackthorn family and one in particular is someone she is interested in, his name is Andrew Rosales-kingson-Blackthorn and he is lovely she says and she teases him of course. She is sarcastic and she is when times are awkward and need a little lighting up. When she smiles it lights up a room but very few get to see that smile that lights things up. She likes to find beauty in the imperfections and is often the one who tells others they are beautiful because they are them and no one can be like them or have their beauty. She enjoys talks with her namesake Cecily Herondale who is a ghost and they often talk about how similar Cecy is to Cecily and that Cecy will do amazing things. She talks with uncle Will as well, they often make sarcastic remarks together and talk about books and music, and how beautiful Jem playing the violin is, yes cecy loves hearing her father play the violin and says it's one of the most beautiful sounds she's ever heard. She has a close relationship with her Mama and Dad but hangs with her Dad a lot. Jem taught Cecy to play the Violin at a young age cause she begged him to. She loves to Visit and watch Clary Herondale cause she loves painting and Clary taught her how to and she must admit Clary is like an Aunt to Cecy and she loves visiting her. She also loves to visit uncle Julian and he has taught her stuff to, the funny thing is Clary and Julian never minded the other teaching her stuff they always respected each and even took tips from each and fangirled over art together. Cecy loves anything art and to read books and fill her head with information. She loves her older siblings who she calls the meme team, Kit always includes her and Mina as well they are amazing and she can't explain how much she loves them. And her twin Jonah of course who she loves more then anything.

Physical description: She has long Black hair and Blue Eyes, she has Jem's high cheekbones and slender features and looks like her mama around the chin and eyes, she is tall for her age like her twin. She is beautiful and has a sweet but kinda blank looking face. She is Slim and lean but strong. She has a scar on her arm from a deep cut she got as a little child, she loves the scar though it reminds her of who she is, that she is a strong girl who can overcome and be a badass shadowhunter. She has slight freckles along her face. She wears her hair in ponytails and braids often and on special occasions will wear it down. She often wears Jean's and Leggings, Tshirts and Tank Tops, she loves Sneakers and Combat Boots, she Wears a necklace that detects when demons are around that magnus had made for her similar to the one Isabelle Lightwood had and passed down to her daughter Sophie Lightwood. It has a black chain with a Amethyst in it. She holds the necklace dear. Magnus is someone she looks up to and very much enjoys his company.

Name: Gabe Carstairs the corgi

Age: 2 years.

Nickname/s: gabby, gab gab, GG, sweetheart, sweet boy.

Gender: male.

He is like most corgi's on the looks and his personality is very energetic and sweet and he is snuggling and loves his family. He is protective of his family. And will try to cheer them up when they are upset.

( thank you to @daisyherxndale for all the help with the characters)

[purplesurveys]

981

Name 10 Of Your Friends

1. Laurice 2. Angela 3. Luisa 4. Andrew 5. Kate 6. Gabie 7. Tina 8. Jo 9. Liana 10. Jane

Are you related to number 1?: I’m pretty sure we are not, not even distantly.

Do you love number 2?: Like a sister. She means everything to me.

Is number 3 older or younger than you?: She’s older by literally a few days. We were born in the same month, same year; but she arrived around a week earlier.

Are you romantically involved with number 4?: No. I’ve never been interested in them in that way.

Do you wish you could see number 5 more?: Absolutely. She was one of the best friends I made in college and I wish we had/have more opportunities to see each other. I don’t think I’ve hung out with her since the Christmas season last year :(

How did you meet number 6?: Mutual friends introduced us to each other and it was best friend-hood from there.

Would you ever kiss number 7?: Eh, she’s more like a sister to me so pass.

Does 8 share the same taste in music as you do?: We share some favorites as far as I know, but ultimately we have different tastes. Her favorite is the Vampire Weekend, a band I’ve never listened to.

Would you tell a secret to number 9?: I’ve met her irl only once, but sure. I find her reliable.

Would you ever live with number 10?: I think we can be roommates, but I also think we’d drive each other crazy. Also I’m a little intimidated by her so that might ruin my experience living wherever we’re staying in.

Have you ever dated any of the 10 people listed?: Yep.

Would 3 and 7 make a good couple?: Ooh I doubt it. They have very different personalities; I’m pretty sure they’d clash all the time and that they would be simply incompatible. It doesn’t help that Luisa’s gay and Tina’s straight, so.

Do 2 and 5 get along?: As far as I know they’ve never met. They could probably get along; they’re both super friendly and can fit in any crowd.

Are you secretly in love with number 6?: Well, it hasn’t been a secret for a very long time now.

When did you last see number 8?: :( :( :( Don’t do me like thissss. Oh man. I genuinely have no clue. Last year? January of this year? It’s been ages.

Does number 2 know number 6?: Very well. They’re my two best friends so we’ve been in the same room, same car, same bar, same house, etc. plenty of times.

Have you slept in the same bed as number 4?: I don’t recall ever doing so. We’ve lied on the same bed, but neither of us fell asleep that time.

Is number 7 single?: Yes. She’s had her fair share of crushes through the years that I’ve known her but she’s never had a boyfriend.

What do you like to do with number 5?: Drink, smoke, catch up, laugh.

Has your mom met number 6?: Like a million times.

Are number 4 and 8 friends?: I wouldn’t call them friends. I dunno if Jo’s opinion of them has changed in the last few months, but the last thing I’ve been aware of is that Jo does not like them too much. I vividly remember how Jo’s crowd and Andrew’s crowd had to sit at completely opposite tables during our Christmas party last year. Because I was friends with both groups, I spent the evening moving from one table to another before settling at Jo’s because I was closer to that group haha.

What does number 9 look like?: To be honest with you I barely know her. Covid kept us from hanging out but I’m so ridiculously sure that we could’ve ended up becoming great friends, so I’ll always feel crappy about that could’ve-been. From what I remember, she has curly hair and braces, but that’s pretty much all I was able to note down about her appearance in the one time we met in person.

When did you last talk to number 10?: The other day. I needed the contact number of someone who works where she works, so I asked her if it was possible to retrieve the contact details from her.

What was the last thing you said to number 2?: I showed her this meme, hahaha.

Have you ever hugged number 1?: SO MANY TIMES. She is such a hugger. Absolutely no complaints about it.

Is number 2 in a relationship?: Yes, with Hans.

Would 3 and 5 ever get in a fight over you?: I have no idea why two people would ever fight over me. I’m not desirable at all...so no.

How old is number 4?: They are 22, same age as me.

When will you next see number 6?: I don’t know. We have completely opposite work shifts and it’ll be that way for a while, so it’s really hard to tell.

Have you ever hooked up with number 9?: Oh wow, no. That feels wrong.

Do 7 and 8 live in the same place?: No, they’re a few cities apart.

Do you want to talk to number 10 right now?: Not really. I’m not annoyed with her or anything; there’s just nothing to say to each other at the moment.

Is number 3 in your phone contacts?: Yes.

You caught 7 and 9 kissing, your reaction is?: bruh what

Does number 2 smoke?: Socially.

You throw a party and invite 2, 3, and 4, would there be any problems?: For the most part not really, except Andrew tends to get really rowdy and raucous when they’re drunk and that might not go over well with Angela in particular. But who knows? They could also end up being a fun trio; they all have great personalities so I can definitely see that happening as well hahaha.

You're on a roadtrip with 1 and 7. Is it awkward at all?: Not at all. Those two have a great dynamic and are the bubbliest and friendliest people I know. It would be such an entertaining car ride and I wouldn’t complain about driving at all if they were my two passengers.

8 just kissed you. What do you say?: Ask her what it was for. But idk, I feel weird thinking about it actually.

3 and 9 just got into a fight. What might it be about?: They probably just disagreed on something ideology-wise. Luisa is a hardcore red and is very radical; Liana shares the same ideals but is several notches lower. It wouldn’t be a full-blown fight and they’ll most likely end up having an intelligent debate.

Does 7 hate 9?: No. That would be such a tricky spot to be in considering they’re part of the executive board for the org. They should make it a point NOT to end up hating each other lol.

How is 4 today?: I think they’ve been doing alright for the most part! They recently launched their new passion project, a podcast, and so they’ve been super excited and giddy over the last few days. As they should. The podcast looks so promising and I can’t wait for the first episode.

Where does 8 live?: In a city in Metro Manila.

Have you ever liked 6 more than a friend?: Yes.

Would 2 and 4 look cute together?: Not a fan. I’d rather they stick to their current significant others.

Would you ever borrow any of 2's clothes?: Sure! She has a lot of cute pieces. They’d be a size or two larger for my frame, but I’m willing to experiment if she’s willing to lend her clothes to me.

Is 3 taller than 10?: Yes. I think everyone is taller than Jane. HAHAHA

Are you taller than 7?: She’s taller by a few centimeters.

Would it surprise you if 9 got arrested?: I don’t know, actually. Like I said, I’ve barely gotten the chance to know her. At this point in our relationship I can’t really tell if she’s the feisty type.

Could you live with 3 and 4 for a year?: Sure. I thnk it would be the two of them who’ll end up having a blast living together as they’re obsessed with everything sports and sports will definitely dominate the TV and dining table discussions. I can be like their mom, I guess hehe

Do you like number 6's hair?: Yes.

Does number 1 know something about you that most people don't?: I’ve probably shared a secret with her here and there, yes.

8, 6, and 1 are hanging out together. Likely or no?: 8 and 1, for sure. They’re pretty much best friends. With Gabie, not so much. The only time Gabie will be in the picture is if I hang out with them as well.

When did you last hear from number 10?: Again, the other day when I asked for help about something work-related.

Could 3 and 8 be friends?: They already are; we’re in the same college friend group, the daydrinkers ha.

Who do you have more in common with, 4 or 9?: We’re both similar in different ways though...Andrew and I enjoy wrestling and Liana and I share a few interests like The Crown. Just because I know Liana a lot less, I’ll go with Andrew.

What do you usually talk to number 6 about?: Everything under the sun. She’s my best friend. There’s nothing she doesn’t know about me.

Is number 1 a good dancer?: I haven’t really seen her dance, so I wouldn’t make for a good judge.

Have you ever gone swimming with number 5?: Yes.

Would you ever have a sleepover with number 2 and 3?: It might be awkward at first as they’ve never met, but sure! We can give it a try. I don’t necessarily think they’re incompatible; they just haven’t met ever so it might just take some time for them to warm up to one another.

Could you see yourself having kids with number 7?: No. That is kinda weird to think about; I’ve never thought of her in that way.

Do you find number 1 attractive?: She’s pretty and has a nice, big smile, so yes.

You're in trouble. Who do you call first?: Gabie.

Is number 2 a good shoulder to cry on?: Absolutely. If I needed someone to run to and cry it’d be her or Gab.

Will you talk to 9 tonight?: Nope. I don’t really talk to her, but I’d love to be closer with her.

Does 10 have any irrational fears?: She probably does, but it’s never been raised in any of our conversations so there’s no way for me to know of them.

Do you know something personal about number 4?: A lot. They trust me with a few of their secrets and I’m honored that they do.

Do you text number 5?: Not really. We communicate mainly on Messenger and we talk at least once a month.

Does 8 have a nice body?: For sure. Jo is 5′7″ – which is gargantuan in this country – and I’ve always thought she was such a badass for being so tall. We all deadass look like ants next to her.

Do you approve of the people number 9 dates?: I’m not aware of her love life history, if there is one.

Would number 6 look good with facial hair?: I mean if she wanted to grow facial hair, I wouldn’t mind. I’d find her attractive all the same.

Would you ever date one of number 7's siblings?: Noooooo, her brothers are a little old and as far as I know one of them is already married lmao.

Would you go to number 10's wedding?: I would love to.

How would you react if you found out number 8 had a drug problem?: Try to reach out. And ask the other people in the EB if she’s been getting the help and support that she needs.

Did you go to school with number 1?: Just university, though she’s a year level lower. We went to different schools in grade school and high school.

How did you meet number 2?: I was class number 9 and she was class number 10 in Grade 1. And then I stabbed her palm with a pencil; the rest was history.

Would it surprise you if you found out number 4 was stalking you? It would surprise and anger me, yes.

Does 3 make you smile?: All my friends make me smile. That being said, yes Luisa sure does.

[holylulusworld]

Endgame

Request: Dean x reader based on 10x23 when dean fight Sam and the reader trying to stop them (she’s a badass so trying to fight dean) and when dean trying to punch her sam yells and she don’t trying to stop dean but only yell crying at him “kill me and kill our baby too, do it” something like that  Sam and reader brother/sister and Dean for that fall more in love with her 💕 Angst so much angst and fluff smutt romantic end? Please ❤️

Pairing: MoC!Dean x Reader, Dean x Reader, Sam, Death

Warnings: language, angst, violence, blood, pregnant reader, sad reader, angry reader, fluff, smut, fingering, vaginal sex (unprotected), Characters death

For my storyline, the Mark disappears without releasing the Darkness

  “What’s wrong, Sam?” You ask worriedly.

“Nothing. You should sleep a bit, Y/N. The last days were…well…”

“Horrible? You mean the fact that Dean killed an innocent boy. Killed the whole Styne dynasty and almost killed Cas too?”

“Y/N…Dean, he called me. He wants to meet up with me."

“Then let’s go, Sam.”

“What if he’s even more dangerous?”

“I can handle it. I won’t let you go alone. So get your stuff and we drive…come on Sammy. We’re family. I won’t let the uncle of my baby get hurt.”

----

“I’ll go in alone. Wait here, Y/N.” Sam says.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. If I don’t call you in 5 minutes drive away without looking back. I mean it Y/N, don’t bring your baby in danger!”

“Take care Sammy,” you say worriedly.

 10 minutes later…

“Dean? What are you doing?” You yell when you see Dean punching Sam’s face.

Kneeling on the floor Sam looks up at his big brother. His face is bloody and tears are streaming down his face. Not defending himself he let Dean hurt him.

“Y/N, go. I told you to stay away,” Sam says panicked.

“I won’t leave you. Dean may have forgotten you’re his brother but I didn’t. I won’t let you get hurt!”

Standing in front of Dean to block his path, you raise your chin. Protecting your ‘brother’ you shake your head.

“Stop hurting Sam! What’s wrong with you Dean? Killing an innocent boy. Almost killing Cas and now Sammy too? Didn’t we lose enough people? Ellen, Jo, Bobby…Charlie…stop right now!”

“Move! This is the only way!” Dean yells.

“No!”

“Out of my way!”

“Forget it!” You yell punching Dean’s jaw.”

“You asked for it!”

Trying to hit you Dean doesn’t hesitate until Sam yells at him.

"Stop, Dean. If you want to kill me fine. But don't you dare to hurt, Y/N!"

“She’s in my way. If I have to ‘walk through’ her to end this, I’ll do it!” Dean yells back.

Holding back the tears you look at Dean and then at Death. Shaking your head you lock eyes with Dean.

“If you want to kill Sam you need to get through me. I won’t let you kill my brother. You might be able to hurt Sam, I’m not. I lost too many people including you…I won’t lose Sam too. If you want to make a deal with Death fine by me but he won’t get Sam. He’s the only family I have left. You can’t take him away from me.”

“This is for the best. He would try to get me back. Try to do something stupid.”

“I don’t care.”

“Get out of my way or I’ll kill you too,” Dean yells again.

“Fine. Do it! Don’t hesitate. If you want to kill Sam then you can kill me too. Without you and Sam in my life it doesn’t have a meaning.”

“Y/N don’t,” Sam pleas.

“Do it, Dean! Kill me and our baby. Do it. What are you waiting for? You almost killed Castiel and Sam, so kill me.”

“Baby?”

“What are you waiting for? End this Dean. This is the only way. Kill her too, if you have too.” Death says handling Dean his scythe.

Still not moving away you let the tears fall. Protecting Sam at all cost you hold your ground.

Raising the scythe Dean looks at you. He sees the tears; the desperate try to protect his brother, then he sees the ultrasound picture you were holding falling to the ground.

“Do it! End me, here and now if that’s what you want,” you yell now.

Dean rears back to swing the scythe but before the scythe can harm you he turns around to stab Death with it. Death turns to ash and crumbles to the ground. Letting the scythe fall to the floor Dean looks at you.

Before he can say anything a bolt of red lightning strikes Dean's forearm right at the spot were the Mark of Cain is. Fading away the Mark disappears.

Close to tears Dean falls to his knees in front of you. Moving his arms around your waist he rests his head against your belly.

“I’m sorry Baby. I’m so sorry, Sammy. Please, forgive me. I love you and the baby.”

Moving your hands through his hair you close your eyes for a moment. Planting a soft kiss to your stomach Dean sighs.

“Can we get out of here?” Sam asks.

"Oh, of course, Sammy. Let's get out of here," you whisper.

Staring up at you Dean waits for your reaction. Smiling down at him your features soften.

“Let’s all go home.”

Jumping up Dean moves his arms around yours. Resting your head against his chest you start crying. Holding you tight he gently strokes you back.

“We should go. I killed Death and I think someone will be pissed about it,” Dean whispers.

Nodding you let go of him. Looking at Sam’s bloody face you start sobbing again. Giving you a cracked smiles Sam hugs you tight.

“You really are stubborn ‘sister’,” Sam says smiling.

“No one hurts my family Sam, not even Dean.”

“We should get going,” Dean insists.

“You’re right. Let’s go home,” you say holding out your hand for Dean.

----

“How’s Sammy?” Dean asks looking beyond guilty.

"I patched him up and forced him to get some well-deserved sleep. He barely slept lately and he needs a rest."

"I'm sorry for everything. You really defended my brother like an angry bear mother."

“Bear mother?”

“Hmm…you defend Sam and I would’ve killed him for good. I…the spell worked. I should’ve trusted Sam and you. I’m sorry, Y/N. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ve missed you, Baby,” Dean rasps and you start to shiver.

Humming you move your thumb along his jawline. Watching you full of adoration he almost holds his breath. Standing on tiptoes you kiss his lips softly.

Deepening the kiss Dean moves his arms around your waistline to pick you up. Not breaking the kiss he carries you to his bed.

Hovering over you he looks at you full of adoration. His heart aches at the thought what he almost did to you and his brother.

“Dean?”

“I love you…I love you so much. Now even more. You risked your own life to defend Sam.”

“He’s my brother���family don’t end with blood a good friend of mine once said,” you whisper.

Gently stroking your cheek Dean kisses you again. Parting your lips you let him slides his tongue with yours. Your hands find their way to his face to cup it.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers.

His lips plant soft kisses along your neck. Closing your eyes you enjoy being close to the man you love again.

“Dean. I want you.”

Once again his lips find yours while his hands are in your hair. The tingling in your body gets even stronger. The last weeks you kept your distance to Dean. Now you’re craving nothing more than feeling him close to you.

Breaking the kiss Dean moves his thumb over your lips. Planting a kiss to his thumb you moan when you feel his hand moving between your legs.

The thin fabric of your lace panties is ripped off your body in no time. Chuckling at the pout on your lips Dean kisses you again.

His fingers are busy exploring your folds while you can't take your eyes off him. Soft green orbs watching every reaction to his gentle touch.

Your fingers start unbuttoning your flannel when Dean pushes two fingers into you. Arching your back you sit upright to slide the flannel down your shoulders.

Dean's eyes darken seeing your already hardening nipples. When you lie back down he flicks his tongue around your nubs.

Tugging at his spiky hair you whimper. He’s curling his fingers inside of you now. Brushing over your secret spot he makes you squirm under his touch. Rubbing your clit with his thumb he adds pressure to the sensitive bud.

"Come for me, Baby. I can feel your walls tighten around my fingers."

Enjoying Dean’s tender touch you fall over the edge. Still stroking your walls he smiles at you.

“I’ve missed you D’.”

“Missed you too Baby, let me make you feel good,” he rasps and you smile.

Leaving the bed Dean strips his clothes off. Watching him you enjoy the view. A tiny smirk is on his lips now. Stroking his cock a few times he moves between your legs.

Gently pushing home he let you adjust to his size. Tangling his hands in your hair he occupies your lips once again.

With a slow and even pace, he starts thrusting into you. There's no rush, no urgency. Only tender lovemaking. Feeling every stroke of his cock you moan into Dean's mouth.

His plump lips refuse to let go of your own. Your hands move to Dean’s back when he starts moving faster. Mewling you lock eyes with him, you can see the love in his green orbs.

Your hips meet his thrusts to bring both of you more pleasure. Pumping his hard cock into you over and over again he groans against your lips.

Your toes start to curl and the warm feeling in your abdomen starts to spread out through your whole body.

Digging your nails into his back you fall over the edge. Riding your high out Dean still moves inside of you. Giving you three, four hard thrusts he comes too.

Gently holding him tight into your arms you don’t want to let go of him. Pressing his forehead against yours he smiles. For the first time since he got the Mark of Cain, he feels hopeful.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too.”

“So we’re going to have a baby?”

“Yes. You’re going to be a father in 9 months.”

"I'm so happy, Baby and at the same time, I'm so sorry. For everything I did and said to you and Sam."

"Dean, we love you, so let's leave the past behind we will start anew. Sammy, you and our baby. I don't need anything else."

Smiling Dean holds you tight, hoping that now all of you can finally be happy…

 Forever Tags

@donnaintx, @screechingartisancashbailiff, @fallen-wolf22 , @curly-haired-disaster, @sister-winchesters99, @mogaruke, @the-is13, @helloitsmeamie203, @strayrosesbloom , @thewinchesterco , @hobby27, @kittycatlover18,   @gh0stgurl , @marvelfansworld , @sandlee44, @hawaiianohana15, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt​, @katpatrova17​, @notyourtypicalrose , @heyitscam99, @onethingthatkeepsmealive, @natura1phenomenon​, @flamencodiva

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags

@spnfamily-thewinchesters​, @love-my-not-natural-babies​, @supernatural-bellawinchester​, @butifulsoul125​, @lyinginthegingerlocks​, @mirandaaustin93​, @hawaiianohana15​, @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester, @20gayneen, @thefaithfulwriter

[bibliophileiz]

Review of Devil’s Bargain: Or, The Only Villain I like This Season is Sister Jo

Continuing my pattern of reviewing b*cklemming episodes as a coping mechanism, here are my thoughts on Supernatural’s latest episode “Devil’s Bargain.” 

Sister Jo

I admit, I got worried when I saw that first overly-sexual grace draining scene, but overall I liked Sister Jo/Anael -- if for no other reason than that it gives Season 13 an actual good villain. (Also apparently there’s a nine-year’s-long fandom theory Anna is the angel Anael? I had no idea.) Now if all those testosteroned bozos would clear the stage for her, we might have a cool showdown at the end of the season.

She’s kind of a Crowley 2.0 in that she understands the art of manipulation and surviving by her wits. I have no doubt she could play both sides easily. There’s still some cagey dialogue, no doubt -- Jo using the phrase “cost efficient” right after saying she’s a pretty good businesswoman made me roll my eyes. But given how badly b*cklemming ran Crowley’s character into the ground last season, I’m surprised Anael’s as well written as she is. I’d love to see her go toe to toe with a newly-powered-up Rowena

I’d also love to see a scene between Anael and Cas in which Anael’s “negotiating” the return of “the king of heaven’s son.” She’s reading it like a hostage situation and Cas is reading it like she’s betrayed heaven by propelling Lucifer to the throne. It will also be very interesting to see how Cas, in that circumstance, would react to learning of Lucifer’s promise to restore the angels’ wings.

Speaking of....

The angels

If those six angels kneeling before the throne at the end are the only angels left, then I’m actually all for the angels (sans Cas) getting their wings back. I’ve felt for a while the angels are kind of toothless now. Remember when Cas was so terrifying back in Season 4 that one demon wouldn't even say his name, just called him “the end?” It was chilling.

If you still have a whole host of angels left, bringing the wings back would feel kind of old hat. But if there are only a handful left and most of those have wings because they’re serving Lucifer, that makes them a threat again without just rehashing old plots. And I especially like the idea of Anael flashing her wings at Cas and his truck.

Ketch

Why, why, why is Ketch back? WHY?

Also, why does he keep bringing the same dumb deal to the Winchesters? “Let’s work together! Huzzah!” He actually says “huzzah!” Cas knocking him out was my favorite part of the episode. If only he had stayed in the trunk.

Asmodeus has more confusing powers

Did Asmodeus mind-whammy Donatello? I feel like maybe he did, but I’m not going to lie, I stopped paying attention to the scene as soon as I realized it was between Donatello and Asmodeus (read: immediately). I vaguely remember thinking he did something I’ve never seen a Prince of Hell do before but I was concentrating really hard on CandyCrush, so who knows?

Who’s on first?

I did not ... understand the motel scene.

So ... Sam, Dean, and Cas corner Anael outside the motel and she leads them back to her and Lucifer’s motel room. She knocks on the motel door and Lucifer answers, only for Dean and Sam to step into the room.

Lucifer then turns around and walks to the back of the room, only to have his way blocked ... by Cas.

Who just appeared. Magically.

Where did Cas come from? Is there a door in the back of the motel room? Where does it lead to? Did Lucifer and Anael get adjoining rooms? Why did they need two rooms? They don’t sleep, and they seemed to be having pillow talk on one shared bed anyway. Does the door lead to a balcony? Did Cas climb up the balcony? Why didn’t we get to see that?

But wait, there’s more. While Lucifer is distracted torturing Team Free Will, Ketch bursts in and throws ... something ... that flashes in a way that would be dramatic and impressive if this were Friends, but instead is kind of a letdown in a show where flashing stuff usually means someone’s about to die because the flashing thing doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t affect Lucifer or Anael, who fly away, but it also doesn’t seem to affect, you know, any of the other three people in the room.

What was it? What was it supposed to do? Kill Lucifer? Incapacitate Lucifer? In that case, why doesn’t it kill or incapacitate Sam and Dean? Does it only work on angels? If so, why doesn’t it kill or incapacitate Cas?

How did Ketch even get out of the trunk? This is the only question anyone in the episode thinks to ask, and the answer is: “I’m Ketch.”

Well ok then.

Roller Skate Girl and Cake Boy

The meet cute at the beginning gave me serious Charmed vibes, probably because my dad saw it and commented the woman looked like Phoebe Halliwell. Anyway, I kind of want to see b*cklemming try and write a Hallmark movie now. I’d drunk-watch the hell out of that movie.

Donatello

At least there’s a point to him being back this time even if he was the most forgettable part of the episode.

Also, when Kevin gets to our world, what’s going to happen? Will he and Donatello both be prophets? Will their powers cancel each other out? Will one be The One and Only prophet and the other go back to being a normal nerd? The people demand answers!

Dean and Cas are married

Dean and Cas aggressively apologizing to each other is my jam. Also I loved the “We’re boned” “Epically” exchange, followed by Sam’s WTF face.

Magical Maguffin

Oh, we have an archangel blade now? Nice to have heard of that before. Who names these things?

I mean, we do already have a weapon that kills archangels. You know, the Lance of Michael, the one specifically created to kill an archangel, wielded by an archangel, and which is currently in the custody of our dashing heroes?There would have actually been a point to bringing Ketch back if he told Asmodeus about the lance, given Mary told him about it last season. And then there would have been a point to Asmodeus if he disguised himself as Cas or someting and snuck into the bunker to take it. But that would have been an effective use of the villains, and we can’t have that.

Of course, we all know why the archangel blade was really introduced....

The one we’ve been waiting for

The archangel Gabriel -- our world’s version of him -- is back.

So ... on the one hand, of all the “dead” characters to bring back, Gabriel is one of the ones who makes the most sense, given the way he died is a way we now know archangels don’t really die. (Unless I’m remembering wrong. Doesn’t Lucifer stab him with an angel blade?) On the other hand ....

Yeah, that’s too many characters back and too much plot twisting.

Admittedly, I was never personally invested in Gabriel. I like the character fine, and I think Richard Speight Jr. is a great director and actor and seems to be a sweet person. I was totally on board for an AU version of him hanging out with AU Cas or AU Michael. But I was happy for our version to stay dead.

Now, if it were Charlie who came back, I would be throwing confetti, doing back flips, and excusing whatever plot gymnastics it took to make that happen, so I understand the jubilation of Gabriel’s biggest fans, and if one of the two people reading this are in that number, I am happy for you guys, I really am.

But I am also very, very worried about where the season’s going because it’s more than halway over and we have the following to wrap up:

- Jack’s sinister (ish) powers and his attempts to control them. - AU Michael’s plan to invade. - Ketch’s unnecessary double agent plot. - Asmodeus’ attempts to seduce Jack to the Dark Side and take over Hell. - Lucifer’s takeover of Heaven and attempts to win over his son. - Possibly the angels’ wings coming back. - Possibly Rowena’s power-up. - Run-of-the-mill Monster of the Week episodes, like the Scooby Doo one we’ve got coming up.

And now the showrunners want to throw Gabriel and an assassination plot into the mix?

It’s just a lot. And it’s the fifth -- count ‘em, fifth -- “dead” character to come back this season. It’s starting to feel like Game of Thrones or a really weird soap opera.

I feel like the showrunners are just throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks and I don’t know how they plan to weave it all  together. I guess they could save Rowena’s plot (incidentally the only one I really care about) for Season 14 and/or Wayward Sisters (neither of which have been greenlit yet as far as I know) which narrows it down a little but ... only a little.

The only way I can see it coming together is if the three separate archangel camps -- Camp Michael (AU angels), Camp Lucifer (Anael and remaining angels), and Camp Gabriel (Asmodeus, Ketch, and the demons) -- all come for Jack at once, and the Winchesters have to scramble to protect Jack and help him wield his powers against all of them.

Which is a cool idea on paper, but still a lot to juggle. Here’s to hoping Dabb and Co. can pull it off.

[fuckyeahalexjo]

can you please do a fic where alex tells jo how he became an intern at the hospital by writing an essay saying that he had testicular cancer?

The wind seemed to be picking up again as Jo nestled closer to Alex. Her hand ran up and down his chest as she nuzzled his jaw line with her nose, occasionally placing kisses on his neck. He chuckled low in his chest, “I need another minute.”

Jo ran her leg up between his, her foot pressing up again his calf as she moaned, “You said that five minutes ago. What happened to the second honeymoon?”

He chuckled louder this time and bent to kiss her hair, “Jo, some married couples don’t have this much sex in an entire year. I’m getting old, I need a break.” He pulled back to see her looking at him with doe eyes, her hand inching lower as he rolled his eyes at her, “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“But what a way to go right?” When he gave her patient grin, she rolled her eyes at him and started to get out of the bed, “Guess I should check the weather.”

Alex reached for her arm and pulled on her playfully, “You don’t have to go.” Jo turned to smirk at his exaggerated pleading, “I mean, we could just lay here and talk for a bit.”

Her brows knotted in question, “Talk about what?”

“I dunno. We just…we don’t get many days like this and I’m sure there are…things. You know…”

Jo sighed as she lay back down, “What is it?”

“Why are you mad?” he asked as he propped himself up on his elbow.

Jo laughed up at him as she laid flat on her back, his eyes wide at her reaction, “I wasn’t mad. You just seem to have something specific in mind so spit it out already.”

“It’s just…why don’t we each tell the other something we don’t know. You know…just to pass the time,” he suggested timidly, his eyebrows raised pleadingly.

“Ooookay,” Jo agreed hesitantly, still not convinced about his motives. “I hate carrot cake.”

“I already knew that.”

“Okay, I hate carrot cake cause it’s the last thing I ate before I got sick this one time. Stupid stuff came out through my nose. It was terrible.”

Alex gazed at her in disbelief, “Wow, I feel like I know you so much better now.”

She looked on in surprise as he lay back down, seemingly agitated, “Alex? Alex, come on. What did you want me to say?”

“Something….meaningful.” Jo propped up on her elbow to be able to look at him better and arched a brow in question. She could see his walls crumbling as he sighed and rubbed his face, “It’s just…Linc pops up and you’re all ‘he’s like a brother’ and you’ve never mentioned him once. It just sometimes feels like there are these huge gaps with you that I know nothing about.”

“Wow, okay. Well to start with, I have mentioned Linc before. Maybe I didn’t use his name or maybe I did and you just didn’t latch onto it.”

Alex shook his head, “No, no I would have remembered…”

“I told you about spilling the coffee on that rude woman right? When I was waitressing?” When Alex nodded slowly, “Yeah, Linc’s all in that story. Maybe I didn’t call him by name and only called him my friend, buddy, or fellow peon, but I talked about him. But come on Alex, you can’t possibly expect to know every detail of my life before you.” When Alex sighed and averted his eyes, Jo bit her lip anxiously, “Is this about Paul? Deep down? You’re scared of what secret may be next?”

At this, his head snapped around to show a look of complete surprise, “What? No!”

“It’s not that big of a jump. To be honest, it always amazed me that you took that so well, but maybe you just shoved it down and it’s been festering?” He continued to look at her in bewilderment as Jo reached for a shirt to put on, “It’s fine.”

“Jo, Jo wait,” he tried to stop her, but kept himself from touching her, instead rolling out of bed on his side and throwing on some boxers, “Stop for a second will you?”

Jo pulled up a pair of athletic shorts as she looked at him in amusement, “Where exactly am I going to go in this big of a wind storm?” When he gave a lopsided grin she shrugged and went to the refrigerator, “I’d just prefer to not talk about him while naked if you don’t mind. You want a beer?”

“Yeah, thanks,” he tossed over his shoulder as he went back to his closet to pull out a shirt and jeans, “And for the record, I don’t…I don’t dwell on that, I guess for lack of a better way of putting it.”

Jo snorted as she sat his beer on the coffee table and curled up on the cushions, her back to the arm of the chair, “I would hope not, it’d make you crazy. Besides, you’d have to be a pretty big asshole to pursue me to start things up again if that was bothering you. And you’re not an asshole.”

“Good to know my wife does not think I’m an asshole,” he smiled at her as he plopped down on the couch at her feet before becoming serious, “But like I’ve said before: if my mom had had the chance to get out, I would want her to take it. I will never fault you for that and I understand why you did what you did.”

Jo gave a small smile of appreciation. The pause lingered for a moment before she quirked a brow, “But…”

“You recognized his voice in passing in a busy hallway while arguing with me,” he tried to explain with his palms in the air and his voice rising in pitch, “It’s just weird to me that you’ve never mentioned him, that’s all.”

Jo took a drink from her beer as she tried to not laugh, “Do you want me to bring Lexie Grey into this?”

“What does Lexie have to do with anything?”

“Oh come on, Alex. Your best friend’s sister, who died tragically right before I stepped foot into the hospital, who was your roommate, who you dated….”

“Okay, but it wasn’t like that…,” Alex protested as he took her feet into his lap to rub them mindlessly.

“But still, we were dating what…? A year? Two? And that was after we spent almost a year hanging out every night and you never mentioned her. Hell, I didn’t even know Grey had another sister.”

“That’s different!”

“How?”

Alex shook his head as he stumbled for the words, “We’ve been together four? Five years? And you say he was like a brother, right?”

“And like I said, I’ve mentioned him before. You never mentioned Lexie. But it doesn’t matter, my point is you can’t know every single thing about me. You want to know about every single person I’ve ever met? That’s dozens of foster homes, hundreds of foster siblings, probably thousands of teachers and coaches and church and synagogue members and neighbors and coworkers and classmates. There’s no way I would ever be able to tell you about everyone I’ve ever met.”

Alex sighed and readjusted to be angled more towards her, “Okay, hit me.”

Her eyebrows shot up as she stared at him over the beer that she had just raised to her lips, “What?”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” When the silence stretched, he let out a breath and leaned back further into the cushions as his hands continued to massage her feet, “Fine, I’ll start. Did I ever tell you how I got into the internship program?”

Jo’s eyes danced in amusement as she scooted herself closer, “No, but this sounds promising.”

“For my application, I explained away my bad grades by saying I had a…uh…medical issue that kept me from attending class. My…well all of my family had issues and I really had a hard time making it to all my classes and paying attention when I did go, so I…um…said…well….”

Jo chuckled at him, “Oh my God, what?!”

Alex grunted to himself as he tried to stand, “You know what, this was a bad idea. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“The carrot cake was a catalyst,” Jo interjected quickly to keep him from getting up, having grown excited by the chance to learn more about her husband. Alex stared at her with wide piercing eyes, waiting for her to continue, “I was getting poisoned by a foster parent. I think…maybe she put too much in it. It…it made me sick quicker than the other things. I think that’s why I remember it best.”

Alex looked at her sorrowfully, “Munchausen by Proxy?”

She shrugged nonchalantly, “Medical subsidy. I think she already didn’t like me, so watching me suffer was a plus, but if I had some strange unknown illness, it was worth more.” She shrugged again, “It turned out alright.”

Alex shook his head sadly, but kept his emotions in check to match her blasé mood, “Is that why you have no ass?”

Jo laughed and shoved him on the shoulder playfully, “I don’t recall hearing any complaints before, Mister.”

“Oh no, no complaints at all,” he responded with a smug grin causing her to shake her head in amusement.

“So what did your essay say?”

Alex took a long drink from his bottle, “That I had testicular cancer and…well…”

Jo began choking on her beer, “Wait, wait, you’d rather the world think you were down one ball than to say that your family had issues you had to handle? Seriously?”

Alex shrugged, “At the time I thought it was less embarrassing, besides I thought the medical side of it would score points. You know, explain why I was wanting to go into surgery because of my tragic health crisis, blah, blah, blah.”

She smiled warmly at him and shook her head, “So what did lead you to surgery other than the pride of being badass? Or was that the only reason?”

“Oh no,” he interjected playfully, “It’s your turn again.”

[vinylackles]

family history

word count: 3,000

requested by: anonymous

summary: when two random kids find the bunker and come asking for help, Dean’s ready to kick them to the curb until he learns their last name... Winchester

to avoid having lots of abbreviations for names, I’m gonna go ahead and name the kids!! Kai is 15 and Charlie is 5! Also sorry about switching POVs so much, I just wanted to tell different aspects of the story!

all my works || request imagines here

It was quiet in the bunker besides the hum of the air conditioning and the sound of Dean’s pen scratching notes into his journal. Sam was out on a supply run - your stash of summoning ingredients was running dangerously low, which left you and Dean in the library for the afternoon. In between hunts you often enjoyed peaceful days like this, reading through the newspapers looking for anything that seemed out of the ordinary. 

That was interrupted harshly by two rather loud knocks on the door. You and Dean exchanged a look across the table. Sam had a key, and you weren’t expecting any visitors. You both stood up, pulling your guns from your back waistbands and heading for the door. 

KAI’S POV:

“Now remember, it’s 20 years ago. Aka, they have no idea who we are. So don’t say anything to them, okay?” He warned his younger sister. 

“I just want mommy and daddy back,” Charlie crossed her arms, half in annoyance and half to cover her shiver. 

“Okay, but just don’t say anything. They’re here, Dad always talked about this place. He took me once before you were born,” Kai said. As if on cue, the door opened slowly and out stepped Dean. He looked much younger than the Dean that he knew, but it was the same man alright. 

And behind him, no doubt with another gun was his mother, Y/N. She was looking at him in confusion.

“Hi. Um, were lost and we need a little bit of help. Could we come in?” Kai put on his best innocent face, but he knew his dad, and he knew he wasn’t going to let anybody into the bunker, no matter what.

“Sorry, no can do, but if you’ll just let me get my car I can take you kids to the nearest police station and get you some help.”

“Oh. It’s just that we came all the way from Poughkeepsie, we dropped everything and ran and I was hoping that you could help us.” Kai gave the code-word a shot, just to see if it would ring a bell. Before he could move there was a gun pointed directly at him.

“How the hell do you know what that means? Who are you?” Dean demanded.

“Ease up,” Y/N’s voice came from behind him.

“You use it with Uncle Sammy sometimes when you go hunting. It’s a secret code,” Charlie chimed in from beside Kai, proud of herself for remembering the word. Kai groaned, thinking that she blew the whole thing.

“Uncle Sammy?” Y/N asked, stepping forward. She was still staring at Kai as if he was the most peculiar thing that she’d ever seen. 

“Yeah, Daddy’s brother Sam.”

“What’s your name sweetheart?” Y/N bent down, looking at the girl very closely. She had the same color hair as her mother, and many of the same features too. 

“Charlie. Charlie Jo Winchester.” She said proudly. 

Y/N froze, and it took her a few moments to compose herself before she stood back up and looked at Kai.

“And your name?”

“Kai. Well, technically I’m Samuel Kai Winchester, but I go by Kai. Having two Sam’s would have been confusing I guess.” He scratched the back of his head a bit, obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation.

“Nice try. Who sent you here? Who told you about this place?” Dean wasn’t letting up, though he had lowered his gun a bit.

“You did. I’m your son. You know it’s possible, you went back twice in time to help Grandma Mary,” Kai said.

Dean’s gun dropped down fully now, and Kai breathed a sigh of relief.

“C’mon, lets get you guys inside, it’s cold.” Y/N murmured, taking Charlie’s hand and leading them into the bunker.

READER’S POV:

“What’s your favorite cartoon?” You asked, still unsure of how to handle the whole situation.

“Scooby-Doo is cool! Daddy watches that one with me sometimes,” Charlie beamed up at her from underneath her blanket. You found an episode for her and clicked it on. She was curled up in a ball in Dean’s “man-cave” recliner, totally content.

“You can leave her there, she’s actually pretty low maintenance,” Kai reassured you. He still looked nervous, probably because of the death stare that Dean was still giving him. 

“So... you’re my kid?” Dean finally broke his silence, his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall.

“Well, technically I’m both of your all’s kid, but yes.”

“Prove it. Where was I born?”

“Lawrence, Kansas.”

“What car do I drive?”

“67′ Chevy Impala. Black. And you call it baby all the time, which I still find super weird, by the way,” Kai said, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Dean, he’s telling the truth. How else would he have even found us here, this place is totally off the map. What happened? How did you end up in our year?” You interrupted before Dean could ask anything else. 

“I think it was some spell. My parents... well, you guys I guess... had to go out to help Uncle Sam on a hunt. Charlie was messing around in stuff she wasn’t supposed to, and my best guess is she got into one of the curse boxes downstairs. Next thing I knew we were here, and I begged for some money for a bus ticket to get as close as we could to the bunker. We walked the rest of the way. I figured if there was any chance of finding you guys, it’d be here,” Kai explained. 

“You were smart to come, if there’s anywhere that would have an answer it’s probably the library. We’ll start looking, Dean call Sam to get him back here to help. We’ll figure it out,” you reassured him, patting his shoulder. When he looked up at you, it was like you were looking right into Dean’s eyes. You could see pieces of yourself in his features too - not as much as his sister, but your DNA was definitely there. You couldn’t help but trust him. 

“Thank you. I know this has got to be really weird for you all,” Kai said.

“How many years back are you anyways?” Dean asked.

“20. You all look a lot younger, that’s for sure,” he smiled.

“Alright, easy kid,” Dean rolled his eyes, turning and heading for the library. Kai turned the opposite way, walking over to find his sister fast asleep in her chair. 

“Is there somewhere closer to the library I can lay her down? We traveled for two days, she’s exhausted.”

“You can put her in Dean and I’s room.” 

Kai scooped her up, carrying her very carefully down the hall and tucking her into bed. You could see how much he cared for her in just those few moments, and it warmed your heart. You had an odd sensation within you to care for these children, even though they technically weren’t yours... yet?

You left her to sleep, leading Kai to the library instead of dwelling on the oddity of the whole situation. Dean was finishing his call with Sam, phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder as he pulled books off the shelf that he thought would be useful. 

“Well, I hope you like reading.” Dean gave a half-hearted smile, dropping the books on the long table. 

“Lore I can deal with. English class, not so much,” Kai chuckled, picking a book out of the stack and sitting down in one of the chairs.

“You read lore?” Dean’s expression changed ever-so slightly, and if you didn’t know him so well you probably wouldn’t have caught it. But you did know him, and you knew that little slip was because the one question he hadn’t asked yet was seemingly answered - Kai was a hunter, just like his father. The one thing Dean never wanted for his kids.

“In my free time sometimes. The journals are more interesting than the books though. You brought all the important ones from the bunker to the house,” Kai shrugged, leaning back and propping his feet up on the table - just like Dean did when he read. 

“So, what’re we all hunting these days?” You asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit as you picked a book as well.

“Last one you two were on was a wraith in Nevada I think.”

“Where were you and Charlie?” You couldn’t help but ask. He didn’t seem uncomfortable any more, so you didn’t mind to push the envelope a bit.

“Oh, we were home. I don’t hunt. You two don’t hunt much either unless it’s within a few states or Uncle Sam needs help. I just read about all your all’s cases incase something were to happen. I used to not care as much, but Charlie doesn’t know how to shoot yet so I starting reading up a bit more once she was born.” 

“I never thought we would hunt if we had kids,” Dean mumbled. You were surprised at his honesty.

“You didn’t, for a long time actually. Not until I was about 8, and then I found your journal cause I’m a nosy little shit. You had to explain it to me then, everything, and I wanted you out hunting monsters because if you weren’t hunting them, I figured they were hunting us. Seemed to be enough for you all. You stopped again when Mom was pregnant with Charlie, and you only got back into it last year,” he explained.

“Well, I’m sorry you have to deal with all this,” Dean said. You kept your mouth shut.

“Don’t be sorry. I think it’s badass. So does Charlie,” Kai offered a smile, sighing a bit as he opened the book and began to read. 

Dean watched him for a moment, smiling at the young man in front of him. He could see a lot of himself, not just in his features, but in the way he carried himself. It gave him an odd sense of pride. 

The next three hours were spent sifting through book pages, to no avail. It was hard to look for a solution when you didn’t even know what the problem was. 

“Kai, let’s go check the archives, theres a bunch of hunter’s journals down there,” you suggested. He stretched back in his chair before getting up to follow you down the hall.

DEAN’S POV:

It was odd, seeing essentially a younger version of himself walk down the hallway after his girlfriend. He shook his head, trying to focus on the book in front of him. It probably wasn’t going to have anything - hell he wasn’t even sure that the book was on the right thing. Where was his nerd brother when he needed him? 

He believed Kai. He really did - he knew how frustrating it was to be back in time talking to his own mother and trying to convince her of who he was. But he still wasn’t sure how exactly he was going to help the kid.  

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of small footsteps coming down the bunker hallway. With her hair in a disarray and one hand rubbing her eye, Charlie came down the hallway rather slowly, obviously disoriented. 

“Daddy?” Her voice was small, and it wasn’t until he heard the tremble in it that he realized she was crying.

Something squeezed at Dean’s heart - he couldn’t explain it. This wasn’t his kid, not really. But he was still her Dad. She didn’t know any better, and he could see in her eyes that all she needed was him right now. 

“Hey sweetheart,” Dean stood up, coming to meet her. He was about to crouch down to her when her arms went up in the air, reaching for him. Of course, he obliged, lifting her up into his arms.

She rested her head on his shoulder, her soft hair tickling at his neck. Her tiny arm was wrapped around his neck, little fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. She was a spitting image of Y/N, the most precious little girl he’d ever seen.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, rubbing a hand along her back. 

“Bad dweam,” she said, hugging Dean a bit tighter. 

“Tell me what happened,” he encouraged, going over and sitting down in one of the chairs.

“There was a bad monster in my room, and I woke up and didn’t know where I was.” She hugged him a little tighter, and he wrapped his arm around her protectively.

“You’re safe now, it’s okay,” he soothed her as best he could, but her little body was still tense. 

“Daddy, are you mad at me?” She asked quietly.

He took her underneath her arms, leaning her back so he could look at her. Taking his thumbs, he wiped the tears from her cheeks. She looked up at him with bright green eyes that matched his perfectly.

“Now why would I be mad at you?” 

“I found a box in the basement, and I took it to show Kai, but I opened it and then we were in a field all of a sudden. I didn’t mean to!” Her bottom lip quivered as she spoke. Dean could remember the few times that Sam had admitted to doing something wrong when he was this age, and how mad he had gotten. He took it as a bit of a second chance.

“You didn’t do it on purpose?” He asked.

She shook her head back and forth quickly.

“Then I’m not mad. Can you tell me what the box looked like?” 

“It was purple, with gold stuff I think,” she said, rubbing at her eyes again.

“Okay, that’s good! That’s really good. Are you still tired?” Dean asked.

She shook her head again, yawning in the middle of it.

“Uh-huh, sure you’re not,” Dean chuckled, standing back up with her in his arms. She laid her head back down and he began to pace, lulling her back to sleep. She stirred for a bit, but she got heavier against him as she finally gave in a went back to sleep. 

As if on cue, Sam came through the door.

“Shhh!!” Dean cautioned, reaching up to cover Charlie’s ear as he came down the stairs. Sam’s eyes grew wide as he dropped the summoning ingredients off on the table. 

“Is that.. her?” He asked.

“No, it’s some random girl I found in the basement, yes it’s her,” Dean rolled his eyes, continuing to bounce her a bit. 

“She looks exactly like Y/N...” Sam seemed a bit mesmerized, looking at her as if she was a doll as she slept on his brother’s shoulder.

“Got my eyes though,” Dean smiled a bit at the thought.

“So that’s my niece..... that’s so weird man.”

“Congrats Uncle Sammy,” Dean teased. “She did tell me how she got her and her brother sent back to our time though. Said she opened some purple box with gold writing that we had in the house. Ring any bells?” 

“Oh shit, we have that curse box here!”

“Language,” Dean warned, earning an eye roll from his brother.

“If it sent them 20 years back, we could do a reversal spell on the box and open it again and it should send them 20 years ahead again.”

“Should? I’m gonna need a little more than that Sam, these are my future kids were talking about here.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. I’ll make some calls. You wanna find the box?”  

“Little occupied,” Dean murmured quietly, nodding towards Charlie.

“Right, I’ll go find Y/N and Kai,” he said, heading down the hallway and out of sight.

After a few presumed phone calls and another hour, Sam, Y/N and Kai returned from the archives with the box and a few spell ingredients. 

“Triple checked, it’ll send them back to their year. Kai, you ready?” Sam asked. The young boy nodded, walking over to Dean and his sister.

“I can take her. Don’t want her to get left behind, that’s for sure. You’d kill me,” he chuckled. Dean passed the little girl off to her brother, surprised at how sad it made him.

“Bye guys. I guess we’ll be seeing you very soon,” Y/N smiled, though she seemed unsure of what to say.

“Thanks for helping us, and for believing me,” Kai said, moving in front of the box.

“Anytime kid. You take care of your sister, okay?” Dean said, patting him on the back. He nodded, looking towards Sam.

“Alright, well unless we all wanna get blasted to the future we should probably go to the other room. Safe travels,” Sam said, leading the way down the hall. Dean gave one last look at Kai and Charlie before ducking into the room and closing the door. The three of them stood there, hearing Kai’s muffled incantation followed by an odd whizzing sound.

Y/N opened the first door, and sure enough the pair were gone.

20 YEARS LATER

Kai landed hard on his feet, the jolt waking Charlie up. He dared to peek an eye open, relaxing completely as he recognized the living room of his house. 

“We made it home! Thanks bubba!” Charlie cheered, hugging her brother again. 

“Anytime. Just, no more pretty boxes okay?” He chuckled, hugging her back. He was so relieved he barely even heard the thudding of the footsteps down the hall until they were in the room. 

Dean and Y/N came stumbling in, their eyes wide in panic.

“Oh thank god!” Y/N exclaimed, running over and pulling both of them into a hug. Dean was next, wrapping his arms around all of them the best he could, so thankful to have his kids back in his arms.

“Where were you all?” Dean asked.

“Well, it’s kind of a long story....”

[rkxayah]

LUXE 💎 SIXTH EVALUATION debut showcase! july 30, 2018

4:55 pm.

while looking at her reflection in the mirror, eunae can barely recognize herself. where has her tomboyish image gone to? all she sees is this tall, pretty girl in a dress just like the ones her mother always dreamed of putting on her. but she doesn’t feel very in sync with that girl, as if it’s not her own body she’s looking at. when she thinks of herself, eunae pictures how she looked at seventeen when she first came to korea. blonde, tomboyish, cheeks still chubby from the remnants of childhood. but that’s not what she’s seeing right now and it shocks her. she became a woman, simple as that.

she looks at the other girls with a mix of excitement and pride. they all look sublime, but her gaze lingers on sona in particular. the girl looks banging but of course that’s just her biased opinion. “is it me or it’s getting hot in here?” she whispers playfully as she walks right by, nudging her side before standing in line as they prepare to go up on stage for the press conference. they practiced a multitude of questions but of course there isn’t a definite way to know which ones are gonna pop out. she doesn’t doubt royal has some control over it, but they still have to be on their toes.

and up they go, six goddesses greeting the mortals in front of them.

6:00pm-7:00pm.

she’s definitely back in her element this time, wearing tight-fitted black pants and a crop top of the same color. it compliments her figure nicely and makes her even taller than she already is. her hair is tied up in a complex ponytail and french braids and she looks fierce as hell with her makeup on. a girl’s got hype herself up, doesn’t she? and it’s not just her, they all look extremely different than they did earlier. all in dark colors, all in feminine yet very badass clothing. the stylist did a very good job of highlighting each one of their personalities and in a way it even suits the goddess title they chose for themselves.

her nerves start acting up as she looks at each minute go by. she’s restless, even more than usual and the hairstylist has to remind her multiple times not to move or else it’ll take even longer to get her ready. while it’s easier said than done, she manages to stay still long enough for them to finish and soon she’s left to be nervous on her own, with only the other girls as support.

she thinks of her family who have bought their tickets long ago online. her dad, her mom, her two sisters, her brother joey. and she thinks of the four special people she gave her mvp tickets to. yoohyeon, her best friend and probably biggest fan to this day. lisa, her dearest other half during royal survival. bambam, her cousin and the one person that can keep up with her energy and sense of humor. and last but not least, her brother yien. the one person she wanted most to come see her. the one person she wants to impress, and make proud. he’s already been her model, her hero. despite what he thinks he’s worthy of every bit of love that she can possibly give him. and she wants to show him that she worked hard and stuck to something besides soccer for the first time in her life. that she’s found a new passion.

the clock ticks, and the showcase grows nearer.

8pm.

after a heartfelt and emotional speech from their leader cheri, the girls all pull each other into a tight hug. eunae isn’t sure if she ever wants to let go because then it’ll mean the showcase is actually happening, that they’re going on stage and facing the three THOUSAND people who bought a ticket. there are for sure a lot of their loved ones inside the venue, but also strangers. complete strangers who found them interesting enough to spend hard-earned money on a ticket. it’s beyond her wildest imagination and god knows her imagination is wild already.

“let’s do this girls!” xayah calls out joyfully, right hand currently crushed by tiny but powerful cheri. there’s no going back now, they’re debuting. they’re doing this and they will kill it because that’s what they’ve been training and waiting for all these months.

they’re finally about the experience the results of their hard work. and not only theirs, but all of the staff at royal who participated in this debut. she can’t wait to see the reactions, to see where it’ll bring them. the future looks bright right now, so bright it’s almost blinding.

the first vcr starts to play and the girls get ready. the first song performed is not their title track, but what’s probably the most sensual one out of the album. at first listen she wasn’t a big fan of dangerous, just because it’s not her cup of tea and what she thinks she does best. but working alongside members like ella, cheri, sona, yena and celine, she was bound to actually improve her level of sexiness on stage. yoo jaekyung told her to exploit the strength and that’s her intensity. she’s intense in everything she does, from her gaze to her movements and that’s what sets her apart. she’s learned how to regulate it, tone it down during certain parts and go all out for others and that advice actually helped her accept that she can, in fact, be sexy.

luv me comes next and it’s such a contrast. it’s still in tune with the rest of the songs but there’s a definite quirkiness to it that eunae likes. i feel good remains her favorite to this day and it’ll never change but the choreography is so light-hearted and fun that the pleasure they have on stage can be felt by the audience. there isn’t one person who isn’t smiling right now.

for a while she tries to find her friends and family in the crowd, but the lighting makes it pretty difficult to see anything at all so she gives up quickly and focuses on what she needs to do instead. once luv me is over noh jihoon steps in, applauded by the crowd and the girls greet him, still breathing heavily from their earlier performance. from this moment forward she’s not jo eunae, nor is she bekah tuan. “i’m xayah, goddess of fire!” and there it is, her official stage name and title. they said to choose wisely but she didn’t have to think much before she settled on this one. it not only is a perfect match with xayah but it’s also her zodiac element, and just a word that describes her well in general. she’s always been told that there’s fire inside her, to not let it consume her. well, she never did and instead tamed it, which led her to where she is tonight. in front of all these people, greeting them as luxe’s main rapper xayah.

when asked their impressions of the songs, eunae replies honestly. “i didn’t like dangerous at first, not because it’s not a good song, because it is! but because i didn’t think it was my style, especially the dance. but in the end i think it became one of my favorites! i think it’s no surprise that i’m a little less into ballads but i’m glad we get to show multiple sides. i feel good if my favorite song because it’s upbeat and fun, like me,” she laughs before continuing, “but that’s not all there is to me, and also to us as a group. we get to hear cheri eonnie, celine eonnie and sona’s gorgeous vocals in still falls the rain so just for that it’s worth it, please anticipate the performance later!”

and with that she let others speak, either nodding or humming in agreement when they said something that warranted a reaction but otherwise trying not to cut anyone. that’s what she’s practiced the most throughout the public speaking lessons, because she’s usually the type to just butt in whenever she feels like saying something. however that’s not how it works in a formal setting like this one and it looks rude (so they said).

with that portion done, they prepare for still falls the rain and without you and eunae feels so very alive. she almost wishes this could go on forever, like that one evaluation she did back then as a trc trainee.

but it’s soon over and they’re back with noh jihoon, sitting on the stools provided by the staff so they may rest and take a small sip of water. and while she didn’t feel like stopping the music earlier, this game actually sounds fun and she tries to think of the best anecdote to share while the first name is being picked. when he turn comes she grins, brings the microphone to her lips and doesn’t speak right away. “there’s one thing...” she begins mysteriously, as if daring the other members to guess what she’s about to say. “that happened with all of us, right? we were really hungry one night but we can’t order any good food so we called chicken delivery in secret. but they’d find out if the delivery man came in through the door so he tied the box on a shoelace and we pulled it through the window!” she starts laughing and so does everyone else. “and since we thought of ella eonnie too, we made sure to get a salad on the side...” she shoots a playful glance at the older, since they never cease to tease her about her much too healthy and balanced diet. “but did i have to talk about debut?” she looks a bit taken aback. “then i would say my favorite memory is the one we’re making right now, with all of you. i don’t think i’ll ever forget it. thanks for being here, really!”

and with that the segment goes on until they all leave the stage and prepare for i feel good while the music video plays. the music video. it feels so official now that they see it live, now that they know everyone will be reacting to it. she can’t even believe they’ve finally reached that point. back in december, when the group was formed, they didn’t even know when they would debut. it might as well have taken a year yet here they are already.

they cheer themselves up again before going for the final kill with i feel good. it’s the most important performance of the night. it’s their debut song, the one the nation is going to hear either a lot or not at all depending on how well they do. if they perform well, if they catch people’s attention then maybe the video will be shared and it’ll gain momentum. and so she gives every last bit of energy left in her body.

they deliver, she thinks. probably more than they ever did before.

9:30pm.

as they greet the crowd one last time, the lights fade and it’s over just as quickly as it began. eunae finds herself backstage with the other members, preparing to receive their four guests. she wishes all of her family could be there but there’s a lot more than just four so yien and bambam will do for today. they’re both well aware of what she’s doing through, or at least what she went through so they understand more than anyone else the thrill of it all. and there’s lisa too with who she shares so many memories from royal survival. and yoohyeon, her brightest supporter who can experience what it’s like behind the scenes. she’s just happy to have them, and promptly introduces everyone to the other luxe members and even the staff members she crosses paths with along the way.

it begins.

[racicoricofalapatorius]

Timelady: Bella Evergreen 🌻

random OC timeladies for doctor who…

Name: Bella Evergreen Timelord title: The wanderer

story…

meet the doctor and he was naturally drawn to her positive, bubbly personality (diffrent from other timelords) with a desire to see the stars so he takes her with him.

character

she wanders the universe seeing the beauty across the stars and power in people

attentive

thinks life is all about small beautiful events

a good listener

best friends with: Rose/Nyssa/Jo grant/Sarah jane/Romana 2

praises people

loves weed

bubbly

she doesn’t take things for granted

high in energy

an optimist

laughs at everything

polite

humble

cries in sad movies

loves rom-coms

she loved the doctor in his 5th and 11th regeneration the most (for their friendly,bubbly and sweet deminer) but still will be friends with him no matter what

wants to find someone to love

wants many kids

find everything funny

very good at comforting someone

resourceful

handy at making gagets

very intelligent 

shares a lot

make friends easily

make the best out of every situation

smiles at people

doesn’t mind what others think of her

kind to everyone

rambles on and on about people they love

kisses people head/holds hands/swings ppl around in hugs/hugs/rubs peoples backs to comfort them

loves hugging

giggles a lot

loves to joke with the doctor

a bit clingy

loves to travel to see the world

she is honest in relationships

naive in thinking everyone is nice

loves to meet others

very protective

has very good princess manners

talks very fast

always has her hair out or held back with a headband

think of others

wears:skirts/collard shirts/pinafores/tights/headbands/flowy dresses/earrings

will turn into a full badass only when someone is threatening innocent people/her friends

very friendly

trusting

creatively chaotic

apologises a bit too much

accepting of others

open book but closes off about stuff that really hurts her 

ofen introduces everyone beating the doctor to it

is very sensitive

breaks down when loosing someone

hyperactive

finds people/places/things dazzling

is a second/third/ninety ninth chance sort of a girl

spins on her heel

empathetic/sympathetic

comes up with creative nicknames, pet names and compliments for people 

very sweet

positive

responsible

not afraid to try new things

pansexual

sees the best in people

very good at talking people down

will not kill

very understanding

loves to read as it transports her to a diffrent reality

Playlist:

Hold on - Chord overstreet

how to save a life - the fray

A thousand years - Christina Perri

Wildest dreams - Taylor Swift

i’ll be there for you - friends theme

Run - snow patrol

if we have each other - alec Benjamin

count on me - bruno mars

Someone to you - BANNERS

Where you lead - carol king

doctors: 2,3,4,5,7,10,11

she decides to leave why?

to much death. wants to help people without risking her regeneration each time. she settles down and has children while working a case worker for teens to young adults. she still thinks of him. he occasionally checks up on her. (more like she makes sure hes okay)

Relationship with the doctor

platonic. best friends. the doctor had a crush on her from his 4th to fifth regeneration (why he regenerated into a younger body) but she tells him “i love you, doctor but i want to just be friends. but it gets better i want us to be best friends. i love you like a brother. please know i love you.” he accepts the friendship and close bond. they are always there for each other.

Nicknames:

bublegum/sweetheart/sunshine/bestie/soul sister/lady of kindness/my oldest friend/bud/bug

The doctor and the wanderer quotes

“i love your smile cus it makes me smile too. not to mention brightens up my day. i miss your lovely smile.” - The wanderer

“i am very patient. and i will wait for you. looking up at the stars, seeing in the Ocean, reambering in the clouds. because you are worth waiting for.“ - The wanderer

“you and me we’re like…sisters. sisters? siblings. you’re that close to me and and i never want you away from me. is that clingy?” - The doctor {11}

”you will always be the sister of my soul and the keeper of my heart.” The doctor {10}

“WHAT I WANT! I WANT-…i want you to be okay again. please, please let me help you.“ - The Wanderer

”will you wander the universe with me, wanderer?” - The doctor {2}

“i have been and always will be your friend.“ - Both [A/N: The galifreyan writing below in the moodboard]

mood board

photos

[badassbride]

Alternative wedding in Cornwall – How to Elope in Awesome StyleLooby and Ryan Bear

COUPLE NAMES:  Looby & Ryan Bear

WEDDING DATE:  11th November 2018

WEDDING LOCATION:  The Green Cornwall:

HOW AND WHERE DID YOU MEET:  We met through my sister, we were both out with her and met that night, Ryan approached me first as we had a brief conversation before online. I must add that we met in the dingiest club in Bournemouth, this is what we bonded over!

WEDDING THEME / STYLE DESCRIPTION:

Down to earth, individual

DESCRIPTION OF THE WEDDING DAY:

We decided to elope and planned it a year before. I have no idea how we kept it secret for so long! The day was perfect, we woke up together and went into the local town to get my hair and make up done. This is also when we sent out our announcement cards so that people would find out the next day, leaving the evening totally stress free. The venue we chose was absolutely perfect, very pretty. We took our two pugs and stayed in a little cottage on the grounds.

After having my hair and makeup done by some lovely ladies we headed back and got ready together, no stress! We then walked to the barn, where we were married, together. The ceremony was lovely, so intimate and personal. We had our lovely photographer and a member of staff from The Green as our witnesses.

Following the ceremony we had some photos taken by Mark, he made us feel so comfortable! We chose to marry quite late in the day and so there wasn’t much daylight but we still got some incredible photographs.

We then went back to our cottage, changed out of our wedding clothes and soon after a chef came over to cook us a three course meal. He was absolutely fantastic and made us the best food we’ve ever tasted!

After the chef left we just chilled out, played some battleships and watched Netflix.

All in all it was a perfect day and night.

DRESS DESIGNER:

My dress was made by coco melody @cocomelodyofficial

WEDDING BUDGET:

2500 including honeymoon (we didn’t spend all of that)

HOW MANY PEOPLE ATTENDED:

Just us and our pugs

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Mark from Evolve Photography Devon @evolvephotodevon

HAIR / MAKE UP STYLISTS NAMES:

Make up by Jo at hands and tans @handsandtans

Hair by Kelly at Red hairdressing @redhairliskeard

TIPS FOR FUTURE BADASS BRIDES:

Do it however you want! Don’t worry about what other people think, it’s your day and not anybody else’s.

[shirtlesssammy]

13x13: Devil’s Bargain

Welcome to a Very Buckleming Episode! Our intent is to keep things humorous but even going in with low expectations, this episode was a wild ride.

Then:

Here is a picture of Badass Cas to ease you into tonight’s recap

Now:

We open with a montage/flashback of Cas in a forest, weakened and with blood pouring from his mouth, remembering his fight with Lucifer. How did Cas get to the forest? Why is he coughing up blood? Why is he so weakened that he’s unconscious for hours? We just don’t know. Two boys come along to see the dead body one found earlier, and they poke it.

Cas awakens with a start, and the boys scatter to the wind.

Cas - who had been banished by Lucifer? - walks back to the insane asylum, but no Lucifer.

We’re suddenly in a Lifetime movie! A woman, in a tan trench-like coat, is rollerblading down the street and trips, falling literally and figuratively for a man, with close cropped light brown hair (and slightly elfin ears), who catches her. The elaborate wedding cake he was carrying is destroyed in the process. A creepy dude watches approvingly, when Lucifer surprises him and reveals he’s actually an overdressed Cupid! He steals his grace and then kills him.

Cas is now in the bunker and giving the brothers the lowdown on all that’s been going on this season. Poor Sam has to learn that Lucifer is Earth 1 side. Dean has to learn that he hasn’t been talking to Cas this whole time.

The boys also learn that Mary is alive (which Jack showed them already?)

Lucifer hams up the almost-human bit. He’s cold and hungry. (I don’t rewatch 9x03 because it’s hard to watch Cas in this position. This is just annoying. Will Lucifer burn out his vessel on borrowed grace? Fingers crossed.)

Asmodeus and Ketch meet to discuss recent events. What was Asmodeus’s “important errand”? In any event, it’s pointed out by Ketch how monumentally stupid Asmodeus is. Ha. I mean, he really fails at a lot.  

Asmodeus tasks Ketch with killing the devil. Ketch seems less than impressed with the idea.

Luci tries emulating another homeless man, but fails. The other man offers to get Lucifer some food, and while they’re dumpster diving, he tells Lucifer about Sister Jo, a faith healer. Luci has his next meal lined up!

At the bunker, Dean and Cas finally have a couple minutes alone before Interrupting Moose interrupts.

Dean apologizes for not knowing Cas was captured. Cas deflects the unnecessary sentiment. He also deflects Dean’s question on whether he’s fine. CAS.

Sam arrives at the bunker and he has Donatello with him! He’s here because they have a plan. Use the demon tablet to open a door to the AU, throw Lucifer into that world, get their mom and Jack back, and escape before Michael follows them. Why use Donatello to translate the demon tablet if it’s only a maybe that the spell is on it? As many people have pointed out, why not use Kevin’s Elamite translations? (Boris: I watch 9x06 more than is allowed and wondered this right away!) (Natasha: at first I assumed they were going to unwrap Kevin’s translations and give Donatello a head start.) Ahem, rolling with the plot. Cas hears on Angel Radio that an angel was killed.

Cut to Sister Jo and her miraculous healing abilities, and Lucifer watching.

Team Free Will investigates the angel murder. They put it together that Lucifer is feeding on grace, trying to restore his power. Dean flirts with Cas. Cas flirts back. Sam looks distressed.

Lucifer introduces himself to Sister Jo, who is not impressed or intimidated. She’s really Anael, a rogue angel that Hannah and Cas didn’t find back in season 10. She’s a savy businesswoman who knows what she wants and how to play the game of humaning, so I’ll handwave that away. She talks Lucifer into using her grace a bit at a time. Apparently angel grace can recharge?! Gah, I’ve read theories (but can’t find them now!) that Cas’s grace didn’t recharge because of his depression. I’ll take all the positive head canons for this episode that I can find.

Meanwhile, the guys start asking questions about the death of the cupid. Sam interviews the homeless man that helped Lucifer. “Actually we had a lovely chat.” Sam’s eyebrows couldn’t get much higher. Oh, Sam. The man leads the guys to Sister Jo.

Ok, Stop.

I am 1000% creeped out by the whole new way to extract angel grace. So. Fucking. Unnecessary. And. Gross.

Ok, Go.

That night, we find Lucifer feeding on Anael’s grace. He admits to killing the last angel, and Anael gets worried. Who knows who will come to her place next?

Team Free Will, that’s who.

They enter Jo’s meeting hall, to find...Ketch.

Ketch greets them like old pals. He tells them he’s in the area to kill Lucifer. Sam wants to know who he’s working for and Ketch dodges the question by suggesting a teamup. 

Cas is...not swayed by this argument. They stuff the unconscious Ketch in the trunk of the Impala and Dean suggests that they head back to the bunker, “find out what he knows and put a bullet in him. Burn his bones, and flush his ashes.” Cas in ON BOARD. Sam distracts them from their revenge fantasies to show them video of Sister Jo, who Cas immediately recognizes as fellow angel Anael. They head off to search for her body. Sam put a tracer on her credit card and when it’s used, they’ve got a clue on where to find her...or Lucifer.

Meanwhile, Sister Jo’s credit card is getting busy at a motel and so are...Sister Jo and Lucifer. Lucifer slowly sucks her grace in a sexualized manner and I just...

Basically, to me this approach to angel grace extraction with Sister Jo uses non-consensual (or at the very least, dubiously consensual) sexual overtones as a lazy shorthand to an imbalance of power between a man and woman. Of course, we’re overly sensitive to this because it’s essentially on a bingo card for these writers. We’ve seen the use of non-con or dub-con before by these writers in the past couple of seasons. (For example: in 12x2, 12x13, 13x02, and 13x13) When it appears, we throw up our hands and rant, regardless of how fair that is, because we’re steeling ourselves for it. On the other hand, maybe I’m still just pissed about what Toni Bevell did to Sam and how that was just brushed aside.

ANYWAY, afterward Anael and Lucifer collapse onto the bed breathlessly and talk about how less grace makes you feel more human emotions. Emotions are a wild ride that majorly weirds out angels. “When I’m in that place I can see how there’d be pain but there’s also hope. Love even.” Anael keeps it positive and then she reflects on the lot of angels. She was an unhappy cog in the machine in Heaven and falling to Earth was a blessing. It freed her.

Down in Kentucky Fried Hell, Asmodeus is catching up on his reading when a demon minion interrupts to tell him they’ve located the prophet. Donatello, meanwhile, is purchasing copious amounts of fried chicken wings. 

Cas appears and asks how his work with the Winchesters is going. Donatello blithely spills ALL the beans. His work with the demon tablet is going great and soon he’ll unravel how to open a door to another world (facepalm). Oh Donatello. “The ingredients are very, very complicated,” Donatello frets, talking about the spell to open a rift and NOT for example seven secret herbs and spices. Casmodeus then slips into his southern accent, freezes Donatello, and compels him to become his spy. Casmodeus sniffs at the fried chicken in a nod to fandom’s nickname for him.

The next morning TFW rolls up to the motel where Anael is staying. They draw her out by pretending to be motel management checking on her credit card. When she sees them and they ask about Lucifer she asks them for help. 

Sam and Dean greet Lucifer in the hotel room. “Morning sunshine,” Dean says and we both growl protectively over that phrase which should NOT BE SULLIED by being applied to Lucifer. Lucifer’s awkward while Anael quietly clues Lucifer in to the fact that TFW thinks he’s still depowered. Thanks, Anael. “Trapped” by TFW Lucifer engages in small talk, makes a crack about Sam’s hair (fuck you Lucifer), and asks about their plans for him.

Suddenly Anael and Lucifer team up to hurl TFW across the room with their rather powered up angel mojo. Lucifer does the patented heart-clench with his fists and Sam, Dean, and Cas writhe in pain on the floor. Suddenly Ketch appears and chucks a spell at the ground.

Lucifer and Anael flap out of there and wind up in the woods somewhere. “I help you and you help me,” Anael tells him. Lucifer accepts this at face value and asks her for further direction. I can see she’s manipulating him but we both fear that this is going to lead to a sudden death for her at some point towards the end of the season. We both hoping we get to see her written with a little more depth later on in the season, and not just some fleeting medium-bad adjunct.

Back in the hotel, Ketch thanks TFW for their rampant gratitude. He then suggests that they pool their resources and go after Lucifer together. He confesses to working for Asmodeus. “How is that supposed to make us feel better?” Dean demands. Ketch says he’ll pass intel on to TFW. Apparently Ketch draws the line at letting Lucifer prance around the planet.

For Science:

Back to Lucifer, he’s chatting with a few of the angel host out by the Heavenly sandbox. Threats are traded between them but Lucifer promises to make more angels if they raise him up as ruler of Heaven. Duma laughs at this offer at first but Lucifer offers to give them back their wings. Ooooo now we’re talking.

Speaking of wings, Donatello adds more bones to his ridiculous pile of consumed chicken. Donatello’s...on edge. He’s enjoying the tablet translation headache that Kevin always suffered from. (Kevin! I weep) He promises that he’s working out all the necessary ingredients.

As TFW gets closer to opening a rift to rescue Mary and Jack, Lucifer assumes his throne in Heaven with Anael just chillin’ by his side.

Some time later Ketch chats with Asmodeus and they bond over liquor. Ketch worries that he can’t defeat the devil at full power. Kentucky Fried Demon pulls out a prized acquisition: an archangel blade.

It can only be wielded by an archangel which seems to make things tricky. However, Asmodeus has one more secret in his pocket. He leads Ketch to a cell with a mysterious figure in it. The figure looks up and….IT’S GABRIEL! (Asmodeus is using Gabe’s powers headcanon)

In summary, holy shit.

Southern Fried Quotes:

That money’s going into the ol’ leg fund.

Most of what we do are long shots. You get used to it.

All that time you were with Asmodeus, I..I, we should have known it wasn’t you.

The usual, bewildered.

“We’re boned.” “Epically.”

I’m the lesser of at least three evils.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[pnnzzlr]

Unity Days 2018 (masterpost)

A collection of UD related stuff I found interesting. Sources are linked.

Day 1: 20th January 2018

*******Disclaimer: [[[asdfghjkl]]] : my comments, not part of the tweet********

Panels:

*** Panel with Bob, Eliza, Lindsey, Nadia ***

via (Afictionados @ Unity Days @theafictionados)

One adjective tease on what the reunions are like: Bob: Emotional / Eliza: Awesome / Lindsey: Hmmm. Okay. (She is a troll omg) #UNITYDAYS2018 (x)

Q: One thing you’ve learned from your character and one thing you’d teach them? Eliza: I’ve learned some pretty badass moves! I would teach my character to like, take a break. Bob: Learning how to use guns [Eliza hi-YEAHS while he talks] and I’d probably teach him how to drink. (x)

Q: If you were to do the musical episode, what song would you do? Nadia: Eliza and Lindsey can sing like professional singers and aren’t, which drives her NUTS (x) there’s footage of Bob participating in an old singing show and Lindsey is LOSING IT trying to get him to reveal what it was. DO YOUR THING, INTERNET. (x)

Q: Hardest or worst thing to film? Eliza: “They threw a gigantic studded panther at me and I had to tackle it. I felt so stupid!” / Bob: “There’s one from last week that I couldn’t stand. [...] Also when I was wearing the adult diaper and hanging upside down?”  (x) / Lindsey: “All the torture. It gets exhausting, and your body hurts.” / Nadia: Being wet all day. I was wet for 14 hours. Eliza: We did become best friends on that day! Nadia: Did we?! Wait it wasn’t that day. It was not that day, babe. (x)

If they were in the hunger games, who would be their ally and who would die first? Nadia: Eliza, Bob, Lindsey, Me. And I’d bring a hug bear. Lindsey: “I want someone really, really intense. Pikachu? No. I WOULD BRING ONE OF THE AMAZONS.” (x)

Your 1st impression of the person on your left: Bob on Eliza: It was at a Kid’s Choice Award in Australia. Eliza: When we first met, I was 16! // Eliza on Lindsey: I was like “you’re SEXY.” //  Lindsey on Nadia: “I thought you were badass! But also HOT.”  (x)

Bob on Bellamy: “This season is the most honest version of my character. This is the best version of him.” (x)

This season was a real chance to reinvent their characters. Eliza: “Who is the new Bellamy, the new Raven, the new Clarke? [...] This season is amazing, I really hope you guys fuckin’ enjoy it.” She immediately felt bad about swearing (x)

x

via (UNITY DAYS *:･ﾟ✧‏ @jasperskaikru)

Question: “One thing you’ve learned from your character and one thing you would teach them.” Bob: “I’ve liked learning how to use guns… And I’d probably teach him how to drink alcohol, because I know how to do that.” (x)

bob’s been kinda quiet during the panel so far bc he’s been distracted by playing with bowie. SO CUTE (x)

as far as bellamy’s hobbies in space, bob jokingly said bellamy’s gonna go back to being a janitor. “cleanliness is godliness.” LMAO (x)

eliza says it’s “official” that clarke gets her hair color from berries! (x) [[[fya - the writers also confirmed this during season 3]]]

bob and eliza are on one couch. lindsey and nadia are on the other couch— and nadia sat on her lap RIGHT AWAY (x)

jo asked a question about how filming was like in the bunker and in space for s5, and eliza was like: “i wouldn’t know. they left me behind.” (x)

Question: “One thing you’ve learned from your character and one thing you would teach them.” Eliza: “I’ve learned some pretty badass moves... And I’d teach my character to take a break every now and then.” (x) / Lindsey: “I learned how to slice a wire!” (x)

eliza says she’d love to play poison ivy! / bob says he’d like to play dr. manhattan! (x) / lindsey says she’d love to play batgirl!

bob’s talking about how it’s funny that bodies just kinda disappear throughout the show like pike and the guy who created ALIE  (x)

nadia says that bob and eliza have amazing “walt disney singing voices” and she’s so bitter about it LOL (x)

Question: “What was the hardest or worst scene to film?” Eliza: “When I had to be tackled by the panther, they threw a stuffed toy at me.” // Bob: “When I was wearing the adult diaper and hanging upside down.” (x) // Lindsey: “All the torture stuff was tough... I was just exhausted.” // Nadia: just GRIMACES LOL

Question: “Who would die first in the hunger games?” Answer from everyone: “Eliza.” (x)

Question: “What character would you bring with you to the hunger games?” Nadia: “A care bear.” / Lindsey: “Black widow... or one of the Amazons from Wonder Woman.” / Eliza: “Pikachu... or Neil Patrick Harris.” / Bob: “Deadpool- to lighten the mood.” (x)

THE BELLARKE FAMILY IS HERE AND ELIZA RAN DOWN TO HUG BABY LARA!!!

bob and eliza said they met at a kid’s choice award show in australia! eliza was 16 at the time! (x)

Bob: “Season 5 is the best version of Bellamy.” Lindsey: “I feel like this is the most honest version of Bellamy.” (x)

Eliza says that season 1 will always be nostalgic, but season 5 will be cool because the writers conferred with the actors on what they thought their character would be like after the time jump! (x)

Lindsey says that Raven is always evolving. And that she really enjoyed playing the aftermath of Finn because losing him was the end of innocence for Raven. (x)

Eliza, on advice for people struggling with body image issues: “I think about me at 21 and how I feel like I was perfect then, but at the time hated my body. And in 10 years, I might feel that way about how I look right now. So why not love the body you’re in?” (x)

Jo: “How was the conclave?” Nadia: “It was bullshit. I’m a nightblood. Nobody stabs me from the back. That was just bad writing.” Bob: “So you heard Jason’s not coming today, right?” (x)

x

via other twitter users:

Eliza says it bizarre to her that the show can end the world and restart it every year. (via ConfettiClarke) (x)

Bob said it was hard to get used to what they are this season since it's been 6 yrs, but he thinks this season has the best version of bellamy (x) 

Eliza: it's bizarre to me that we can end the world and restart it. every. single. fucking. year (x)

Bob: I was first against who Bellamy was at the beginning of this season but on reflection it’s the best version of Bellamy (x)

A lot of interesting bits from the first cast panel at #UNITYDAYS! Best might be Bob and Eliza taking about how much their characters have changed & in Bob’s case being resistant to the change but realizing it was the most “honest” version of Bellamy. (x)

Bob said that there was a really tough scene to shoot last week. (via heda_skaikru) (x)

Relationships have “regressed and developed” over 6 years in space- expect some changes (SelinaW) (x)

x

*** Panel with Sachin and Richard and Tati ***

Jason gets so amped about the show like a kid x

The bunker is really claustrophobic according to Sachin x

Richard said he hadn't seen Sachin in 2 months. Sachin says it was like they really were separated- earth and space x

Richard: we are getting short haired sexy Murphy this year x

Richard characterizing murphy in 5 words:  relentless. passionate.  sadistic. caring. sweet-eyes x

Richard says Murphy and Raven’s chemistry is “undeniable” x And Murphy considers Bellamy his “best friend” x

The bunker is “the most confining, frightening thing” -Sachin x

Tati wants Gaia to make Indra proud and wants “full reconciliation” for them x

Bob and Richard are neighbours now. Sachin is so spicy that Richard moved away from him. x

What’s your favourite relationship? Richard: “Honestly, my favourite relationship is Raven. [...] I think Murphy has so much respect for her. Also, Bellamy. I think Murphy would consider Bellamy his best friend.” x

What would Tati like to see for Gaia this season? (Past tense to make herself past Tati btw!) Tati: “I guess I would have wanted to make her mom proud, not with the conceptual things Indra would have wanted for her, but to show proof of faith.” Reconciliation. x

How do Gaia and Octavia get along as almost-sisters? Tati: “At some point we’ve had to kind of learn to put our differences aside.” x

Richard thinks Murphy’s dad died when he was 10, and his mom 1-2 years after that. Six months later he set the fire, around 13. So he was in jail for years. Sachin: “That’s not fanfiction, that’s Murph-fiction.” x

Richard says that he thinks murphy was 10 when his dad died, and that he was 1.5-2 years older when his mom died. and murphy set the fire at age 13. and that’s why murphy is the way he is— there wasn’t a lot of love at a young age. x

Richard (about working with Bob): they love pushing each other. He also said they are next-door neighbors now in rl (x)

Who are their favourite new characters? Richard: “I have a clear favourite for many reasons.” William Miller! “He’s a bad mother fucker. He’s an incredible actor. You’re gonna love and hate him at the same time.” x

Themes for season 5? Tati: “What truly is unity?” x

Q: Favourite scenes to film? Tati: Opening the bunker with Adina, Henry, Isaiah, and Chris. And then a deleted scene where she rides a horse! Sachin: The truck scene with Jarod. They slid their “too sweet” signal into their hug so that it couldn’t be cut. x Richard: The first Murphy and Raven scene from season 2, hanging Bob, and him in the bunker alone. From Season 4, it’s the Raven and Murphy goodbye. x

On finding out about #Mackson: Richard: “I laughed my ass off. It made so much sense. I can’t believe it took 4 seasons for it to get there.” x

Richard and Sachin are imitating Bob’s voice while stating that one of the themes of the season is “you need to make decisions with your head and your heart”. (Via heda_skaikru) x

Tati, Sachin, and Richard said that a major theme for the season is: what truly is unity? x

Theme of S5: you need to make decisions with both your head and your heart, lol also this has devolved into them imitating Bob’s Bellamy voice (x)

x

*** Panel with Luisa, Chelsey, Jarod, Jessica ***

Emori finally gets a new costume this year after having the same outfit forEVER x

“Miller’s outfit is BADASS” - Chelsey x

Chelsey and Luisa had to discuss their character dynamic because they hadn’t had many scenes together previously x

Luisa wants to play bellamy and i would 100 percent want to see it x

which character would you rather play? Jess: I love Murphy and I could do a way better job / Miller: Murphy but their characters are already similar so Bellamy / Luisa: Bellamy - seems like a lot of fun / Chelsey: always Octavia because she loves stunts x

There’s a scene this year Jessica and Jarod were both part of, and half of the cast involved in the scene were on the verge of vomiting x

Emori is in this spacekru with a “full heart” x Emori thinks space is “the best thing in the whole world” x

Jess would have a hard time if Niytavia was canon because they wouldn’t be able to stop giggling - Luisa ships it irl and Jarod has seen it! x

Jarod had an emotional scene this season but didn’t feel he did as well as he would’ve liked to x

Emori was so excited to go to space SHE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THE EARTH WAS ROUND x

favorite set to work on? Jarod: Mount Weather was warm and comfortable / Jess: Trading Post / Luisa: The Sand Dunes / Chelsey: a S5 set x

“God I love rubbing that thing.” - Sachin has an affection for @hicusick’s beard. x

Sachin called Paige: Paige’s favourite Kabby moment is their first kiss “because he stopped Abby from talking!” x

Tasya gets overwhelmed by how many weapons she uses at one time and has broken a few weapons.  (x) 

Tasya had a really hard time holding her position with her bow drawn during the Bellamy and Riley scene! “JUST MAKE A DECISION!!!!” (x)

do the Harmons want scenes together? Richard: “I don’t want to relive the first 18 years of my life.” x

x

*** Reviewer’s panel ***

The reviewer’s panel is speaking thoughtfully about how they’ve grown as writers through covering

*** Crew panel ***

During a crew panel at Unity Days, the lovely members of the props department talked about some of their favorite details that weren’t shown in the final cut of the show. One member, Anthony Vani, discussed the sword Octavia received when she became commander at the end of season 4. The sword is a relic of old commanders. In order to make it her own Octavia hand-made a special engraving. The enscription reads “Ge Smak Daun Gyon Op Nodotaim” (via linctavias) x

x

Other: 

Clarke’s list or here [[[CLARKE GRIFFIN.]]]

I have lots of pics of iconic props! [The Prop people] were so nice and explained so many fascinating details. ALSO, the super nice prop guy said they’re already planning on being back for season 6 and was totally and completely confident nodding that there will be one. x

x

Infos at signing/photo ops/M&G:

BOB IS SO SWEET. He thanked me for getting this shirt and I told him I care a lot about it.  I asked him to sign my photo "best unity day ever" and told him i liked it because Bellamy smiles. He then hinted to me that Bellamy would be smiling a lot this season x

Bob is having convos with everyone he's literally so personable. I was like, "Please tell me bell smiles at least once this season, can you hint that??" the way he talked about it was so cute jordan [[[twitter user’s friend is jordan]]] said "probably becuz murphy's his best friend now" he laughed x

bob did mention today that bellamy smiles more this season than ever before [[[hopefully because he finally got to kiss Clarke]]] and that that felt very weird for him! x

bob was at a promotional photoshoot the other day and the photographer asked him to smile and bob said, “my character doesn’t really do that.” so the photographer asked if bob could literally give him any other expression and bob was like “not really (x)

I asked Bob whether Bellamy had any hope Clarke had survived, since in their conversation before he insisted that he still had hope in the nightblood solution (Bob: “He was right!”). Bellamy thinks that Clarke was destroyed in the radiation wave. as far as he knew, Clarke was still fiddling around with the satellite dish when the others made it to space (since the lights weren’t already on). In Bob’s words, ‘He still has hope but he’s not hopeful, if you know what I mean. x

Bob said that he made Bellamy giggle in one episode of S5 but he thinks they kept it mostly because they were running out of time to refilm it x

I had Bob and Eliza sign the Day Trip script. They both read the whole thing before they signed. Bob said, “Oooohh this is the scene that got cut. They just cut another good one this season.” And I asked if he meant a #Bellarke scene and he said yes. x [[[the signed Day Trip script here]]]

Bob said that he’s gotten a few movie roles that he ultimately had to turn down due to conflicts with the 100 x

Bob has mixed feelings about driving the rover because he’s one of the only ones who can do it, but it’s also kind of dangerous because there aren’t seat belts and it’s in the forest with no road. x

Bob said that he liked the filming location where the beach scene in 3x13 with Eliza took place x

Bob dropped out of the movie with Zach because he had a significant disagreement with the producer x

At his meet and greet, Bob said that if Bellamy doesn’t use his [head] and his heart he’ll feel like he let Clarke down x

They were supposed to be back down on the ground for like a year and they haven't come down. So there's other stuff that happens up in space and there's a reason why they haven't been able to come down. So there's that kind of dilemma first off x

Bob on Bellamy being happy during his meet and greet on Saturday: "No, [...] Happiness. It's secondary on this show it seems like." x

I WAS EXPLAINING THAT I WANTED THIS SCENE FOR BOB AND ELIZA AND THEY TOOK IT SO SERIOUSLY. BOB WAS LIKE, “I NEED TO HOLD YOU AND YOU NEED TO FALL BACK AND I NEED TO STARE AT THE RAIN” AND ELIZA WAS LIKE “I NEED TO STARE AT YOU” x

bob was like “listen, i need to hold you and you need to sit on my knee” and i straight up was like “the internet will hate me though” x

LINDSEY IS WEARING A RAVENCLAW SCARF FOR HER AUTOGRAPHS x

Photos/ fanarts:

PHOTO: Bob, Eliza, Lindsey, Nadia via UnityEventsCa’s Instagram Story on January 20th, 2018

PHOTO: Eliza with an organizer

PHOTO: The 100 props, rifle + knives/swords, 

PHOTO: smiling Bob with fan x

PHOTO: Richard Harmon during his autograph session at Unity Days on January 20th, 2018 [UnityEventsCa] x

PHOTO: Bob with fan (nice one) or here

PHOTO: Sachin and Jessica via Chelsey Reist’s Instagram Story on January 20th, 2018

PHOTO: Group photo (Bob, Eliza, Lindsey, Nadia) - The breakfast club.

PHOTO: Bob with pikachu hat

PHOTO: BrightCuPenny Successful photo op with Bob and Eliza! We were waiting for our turn and from around the corner we heard Eliza say, “Laraaaaa…” Baby was super sleepy but such a trouper! So here are season 5 Clarke, Bellamy, and Madi! #UnityDays2018 ( = beliza photo with bellarke baby)

PHOTO: elizajaneface All of my favorites. @richardsharmon @mr_sacho @linzzmorgan @officialbowietaylor #bob ❤️ (insta)

PHOTO: blake family photo re-created in real life @WildpipM, @MisElizaJane #UnityDays2018 

PHOTO: cute beliza photos with fans here (head and heart pose) and here.

PHOTO: Eliza posing for a fan today (holding the face caress photo)

PHOTO: Bob has Vegemite in his teeth

PHOTO: Bob and Eliza holding a Bellarke edit that they had just signed for a fan

PHOTO: Bob and Eliza holding hands

PHOTO: Bob and Eliza signed an edit thanking Bellarke fans for voting the face caress scene from 4x13 as @eonlineTV’s sexiest moment of 2017 x

PHOTO: Bob with Bowie at #UnityDays2018 (x)

FANART: HEAD AND HEART FANART signed by Bob and Eliza

FANART: another bellarke fanart signed by Eliza [[[one of my faves]]]

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Videos:

Bob Morley, Eliza Taylor, Lindsey Morgan, Nadia Hilker and Jarod Joseph during their panel at Unity Days via Chelsey Reist’s Instagram Story on January 20th, 2018

video of @Mr_Sacho and @harmon_jess dancing dramatically around the autograph room at @UnityEventsCA? (x)

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Twitter:

@JRothenbergTV: Once upon a time, they lived happily ever after. A fairy tale foursome @RichardSHarmon @ivanamilicevic @WilliamMiller #KatieMcgrath #the100 #Supergirl (x)

Props props props! #UNITYDAYS2018 (x)

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