#but sometimes i do think my life would just perfect itself if only i was ** kg again

[solreino]

Swan Song

Chapter 1: Taking Flight

Summary: In preparation for your debut as Odette in Swan Lake, you encounter a few bumps in the road. Little do you know this is just the start.

Pairings: TF 141 x Reader

Word Count: 5.1K

Warnings: Eating Disorders, Toxic Beauty Standards, Creepy/Unwanted Behaviour, Period-Typical Attitudes (1910's), Innacurate Translations.

A/N: I'm not well informed about ballet, I have never danced it before, so I apologize for any inaccuracy regarding terminology. Also, the story is set mainly in Russia, so the reader is presumed to be of Russian origin.

MASTERLIST Next➔

[November 11th 1911, The Bolshoi Ballet Academy, Russia]

"1 and 2 and 3 and 4!”

Your eyebrows furrow in concentration as Mr. Lenkov begins to play Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake Suite, Op. 20a: I. Scene "Swan Theme" for what feels like the sixth time this hour. His nimble fingers dance across the ivory keys once again as the composition presumes its macabre melody.  

To say the last few weeks have been stressful would be a dire understatement. Since taking up the role of Odette in Autumn, you’ve yet to recall the last time you’d had the pleasure of succumbing to the sanctity of slumber, nor rest altogether for that matter. From dawn to dusk, you’ve found the studio becoming a second home to you; like an ever-so gracious host with a tendency for passive-aggressive hospitality, who coaxes you from the front door in promise of warm tea and a place to rest your head, insisting you stay "just one more hour". You know better, well at least you think you do, because beyond the studio door you know there’ll be no rest awaiting you, only relentless recital. Still, you don’t look back as you accept its welcoming embrace. Because- 

Anything but perfection would not suffice. You see, back-breaking discipline; impeccable precision; artistic competence; meticulous dedication, it’s nothing new to ballet and in turn, it’s nothing new to you, either. To be a ballerina means to surrender yourself to the artistry, and let your body become its mindless muse.

The Ballet industry is an anomaly compared to other artistic sectors. Unlike others, it subverges from the ideals of ‘beauty in the eye of the beholder’. Conformity is key. There are strict standards to be met and an unquestionable quota to be completed. Anything but, will not do. It disregards the need to sugarcoat its shallow requirements; skinnier, sharper, prettier, thinner; if it fulfills the requirements, it will suffice. 

Image is everything. It’s a shallow, superficial sentiment that directors set upon budding ballerinas like hounds to hares. From day one, they plant it into the impressionable minds of aspiring dancers. Uncontrollably, self-doubt sprouts like a stubborn weed. Each off-hand comment or direct dig, whether it be about a girl’s weight of en pointe form, encourages the festering parasite to root itself deeper into her mind. Then she grows older - it’s too late - and the parasitic thought has poisoned her once innocent outlook on life and has rotted it right to its roots. For the rest of her tragic life, the girl will only know the number on the scales, the image in the mirror, and the misery in her mind. 

You’ve seen it happen to others. You’ve seen it happen to you, because-  

Ballet has ensnared you - mind, body, and soul. Over the years, you’ve felt its callous claws dig deeper and deeper into your flesh, leaving scars so severe - both physically and mentally - sometimes the pretty pink ribbons you adorn your feet with prove futile in the bid to cover them. Prodding and poking and probing; fingers jabbing mercilessly into your sides, accompanying a doubly ruthless "you'll need to lose this extra weight if you want a spot on my stage". For a sport so vain, you ought to think it would go easy on its victims. A session of self-reflection proves otherwise.

You learn to bear and grin through it all. You don’t have much of a choice anyways. After all, many before you have suffered the same, and those who come after you will too. Because after many years of being a ballerina-

You learn to see beauty in the pain. 

The blood you bleed makes the red roses you receive at curtain call worthwhile; the sadistically sweat-inducing masterclasses make the shining smiles and standing ovations from awestruck audiences worthwhile; the tears make the champagne chutes you get to drink at the expense of your company worthwhile. You chase these highs like you do with stardom.  

All you've ever dreamed of since a little girl was to be a ballerina. Perhaps, it was the beautiful dresses a child of your class could only dream of back then, or how pretty the woman on the front page of your father’s newspaper looked posing on the tip of her toes. You don’t know for certain what exactly it was that enthralled you with it all. Sometimes, you wish you had never boarded that train to Moscow, never bothered with all that came with being a ballerina. It’s a selfish and self-deprecating thought, for you know if you were to stay on that homestead, there was an imminent chance you would have succumbed to the troubles of poverty you had faced back home. Admittedly, there are times you miss your life before coming to the city. None can be done about that, however.

Now, you have to push your body to its limits and beyond. Daily, you trespass boundaries you had once believed your body did not possess the ability to, reciting the same sequences endlessly, over and over again, until you physically can’t pursue your practice further that day. Even then, you find yourself persevering through the pain and fatigue; limbs heavy like lead; a mind strong like steel. If you knew your efforts were futile in the bid to rid yourself of any flaws in your dance, you would be wrong because-    

Ultimately, you knew no matter how much effort you exerted, the Dance Principal; Ballet Mistress; the reputable Madame Orlova would not miss a single thing.

For decades, word has circled Moscow of the cold-hearted, quick-witted, sharp-tongued old woman who ran the prestigious academy with an iron fist. It was just your luck that she had taken you under her wing as one of her pupils. You dare say she had taken a liking to you, though, she did have a tough way of showing her fondness onto others. 

Never a day was there without some sort of mistake to be mended by her recognition. At times you think God had cursed her to be forever unfulfilled in her outlook of life. The others in the Troupe seem to think so too. 

You dread to think of how much Mr Lenkov’s fingers must be hurting from playing the same melody over and over again for this past hour. It wouldn’t surprise you if the composition begins to haunt your dreams like a creaky, broken music box. You’ve never had the pleasure of owning one, though you had seen one in the window of a repair shop one time and-

And, as the Ballet Mistress shouts at Mr Lenkov to cease his playing, you know she has once more found a flaw in your dancing. 

The symphony stops abruptly with a garble of incoherent notes before it can reach its crescendo. Inwardly, you sigh. 

"No, no, no!" She scolds.

Her boney fingers rub feverishly against her temple in frustration. Rising slowly from her chair before you, her walking cane thumps anticipating against the studio’s oakwood floor as she ambles towards you. Wrinkled eyes bore into you; you struggle to withstand the urge not to writhe under the intensity of her stare.

"Your arms,” She begins slowly, her gaze raking over you in scrutiny, “They are stiff.” 

“From the shoulder to the fingertips,” She gestures with her hand down the length of your arm as she speaks. “It must flow, like the wing of a swan.”

She uses the moment of silence as you take on the command to survey your form, prodding and poking your stance to adjust it to her liking. 

“Do not forget this.” She finishes. 

"Yes, Madame Orlova," You nod in acknowledgment, wincing slightly each time her finger jabs into your shoulder blades and readjust your position to better suit her expectations. 

She huffs a breath in what you can only presume is somewhat satisfaction, signaling for Mr Lenovo to resume playing.

“Again!”

The song resumes its somber sound, and you take heed to the Ballet Mistress’ words. Flowing from your shoulder blades to your fingertips, you encapture the essence of the White Swan; melancholy in her mourning of a lover whose heart he had promised to another. She is vulnerable in her virtue, and she shows that in her final flight. Odette longs for the skies, for an escape from the betrayal of who she had held dear, but her wings fail her. In desperation, she flexes and flaps her wings, but alas, she cannot take flight. And so-

You spiral in a presession of slow spins, arms portraying the anguished attempt the Swan Queen takes to take flight for the final time before decelerating into a despairing descent as Odette. The tune tumbles to its end from beneath Mr. Lenkov’s fingers as you complete your practiced plummet to the studio floor, encasing your body with your arms the wings of the white swan, as the grief-stricken creature takes its final breath. 

You raise your head to look at Madame Orlova.

And, for the first time in your decade-long enrollment at the Bolshoi Ballet School, you think you see the infamously stone-faced stone-hearted ballet mistress smile. 

It's a cold evening in Moscow tonight. The winter winds thrash ferociously at the loose and unraveling threads of your scarf. Whilst it does little to protect you from the frigid frost lingering in the air, you wear it anyways as any warmth you can garner to combat the icy environment is, in your eyes, worthwhile.

Snowflakes dust your hair with specks of glistening white, gathering upon the crown of your head where you have neglected to put on a hat. They tickle your nose and gently brush against your rosy cheeks as you tilt your head back. Your face turned towards the sky; watching as the snow twirls and tumbles from the clouds above, gradually blanketing the ground ahead in a pristine carpet of soft white. It crunches as you walk towards the theatre, leaving footsteps on the once-untouched landscape. You take extra caution not to slip on any hidden ice - an injury is the last thing you needed on a day as imperative as this. 

Somewhere in the far distance, the Kremlin bells ring. 

Thirteen mighty chimes thunder throughout the city. You feel the ground rumble in response beneath your feet - a reminder to hurry.

Rushing up the snowy steps of the Bolshoi Ballet Theatre, you quickly let yourself inside in an attempt to escape the chilling temperatures of the Moscovian evening - and to avoid running behind schedule. 

The warm air inside greets you welcomingly. You eagerly pull off your gloves in its presence to soak up the heat it has to offer. Slowly, you begin to regain feeling into your fingers. Sighing a relieved breath, you make your way backstage as the marble floor of the foyer echoes noisily beneath your shoes.

There, you receive a not-so-calm yet begrudgingly familiar greeting. 

Pre-performance is usually like this; congested backstage corridors; a cacophony of frantic demands and directions; boxes of overflowing props and costumes rushed up and down the hall; the deafening pounding of ballerinas breaking in their pointe shoes;  dim lighting making it near impossible to navigate. However today, with your debut as the company’s newly appointed principal dancer just hours away, it feels even more nerve-wrackingly overwhelming. 

You brace yourself as you get swept away in the havoc of opening night, tangled in the rambunctious crowd as it traverses through the labyrinth of backstage passageways.

Despite the absurd amount of people crammed in corridors unable to withstand even a fraction of their current capacity, you miraculously manage to maneuver your way to the dressing room; elbow-to-rib style, ducking under boxes and weaving past those racing in the opposite direction. 

Relief hits you as you swing open the dressing room door, closing it quickly behind you as your eyes blink rapidly to adjust to the bright lighting inside. The much more quieter, yet seemingly livelier chatter of friendly conversation and girlish giggles encompasses you as you move further into the dressing room. You shrug off your coat, laying it to rest on the coathanger and take your seat in front of your dresser.

Tranquility seeps into your bones as you slouch against the chair’s backrest momentarily, soaking up the opportunity of rest no matter how short-lived the moment may be. Mentally, you take the moment to prepare yourself for the evening, and all the chaos and calamity it is sure to bring. 

Sighing, you straighten yourself up in your seat, glancing at your reflection in the mirror as you do so. 

"I didn't know you had a secret admirer.” 

You don’t turn around as the voice chimes up from behind you. You of all people know better than to entertain her playful antics. 

The voice reveals itself from its lurking in the background, resting her chin just above your collarbone and draping her arms over your shoulder. 

Your eyes meet hers in the reflection. She grins back at you.

“Valeria.” You sigh, patting the hand resting around your shoulder. “It’s good to see you.”

Valeria, crowned tonight’s Black Swan, is one of the company’s longer-serving principal dancers and has self-appointed herself as your tutor and friend as of late. Graciously, she has taken you under her wing these past couple of months as you have gradually adjusted to your newly bestowed title, joining her amongst the Bolshoi’s most prestigious ranks. 

“You too,” She smirks, a little too suspiciously for your liking, pecking your cheek in greeting before returning to her seat at her vanity next to you. “You too.”

You begin to rummage through your stage makeup, tilting the mirror toward you so you can better see, before laying out your needed products on the desk space. You pay no mind to her mischievous staring as you do so. But, as you have learned over your time acquainted with Valeria, nothing can deter her from getting what she wants. And right now, that is to find out who this supposed ‘secret admirer’ is.

"So tell us then," She drawls teasingly, "Who's the lucky boy?"

The edge of your desk presses uncomfortably into your side as you turn to give her your attention. For the time being, anyways. You yourself are somewhat curious as to what she is talking about. But the sooner you can resolve this suppositious accusation, the sooner you can resume to the real issue at hand - getting ready for Swan Lake. 

Confusion stirs at her question, and you tilt your head to the side, urging her to explain further.

A ribbon-wrapped gift box is pushed toward you. You watch on, confused. 

Valeria’s legs swing idly back and fro as she gazes at you expectantly. The corners of her lips tug further into a grin at the silence that ensues and at the completely dumbfounded expression on your face. When you give her no answer, her Cheshire-cat-like grin falters. 

The girls around you giggle, peering over from their makeup stations to indulge in the drama unfolding. Valeria shoots them a look from over your shoulder, one you cannot decipher, but it quietens them down. 

“For me?” you ask doubtfully, slightly stumbling over your words as you take the generous gift into your hands. “Oh Valeria, you shouldn’t have-”

“Not from me.” She huffs.

“I don’t understand,” you mumble, eyes scanning over the gift as you look for a label, a note, a letter, anything that may reveal the gifter’s identity. “Who could this be from?”

She shrugs indifferently, turning to focus on her reflection in the mirror, transfixed on getting the edges of her lipstick just right. 

“The girls who were here before me said it came delivered to the dressing rooms earlier this hour-” She smiles at her appearance, appreciating her flawless makeup in the mirror. Placing the lipstick tube down with a quiet thump, she turns to focus her attention on you once more. 

She pokes a finger at you in playful accusation. “-Asking for you specifically!” 

It’s your turn to shrug your shoulders, unable to give her the answer she craves, for what reason, is beyond you.  

She eyes you incredulously, before returning her attention to her mirror seemingly unable to neglect her reflection for just a moment longer.

“Well,” She gestures toward the ribbon-wrapped gift with her free hand, playing an unbothered facade. You know full well she is practically itching to uncover this mystery. “Are you going to open it?”

Your eyes dart between her and the suspicious box, almost expecting this to be some sort of ruse, perhaps she had given you a jack-in-the-box and was waiting for you to get the fright of your life; her idea of fun.

Hesitantly, you begin the unravel the sheer ribbon keeping the box from opening. The fabric rubs soothingly against your fingertips, a luxury fabric you have not had the experience of touching before. It was clear that whoever had purchased this was of a wealthy background.  Perhaps, you think, you could make this into a bow to wear. 

You don’t know what you were expecting when you lifted its lid, but you definitely were not expecting a pair of .

“Aye chingao!” Valeria startles as she leans over your shoulder to get a better look.

Nestled between a blanket of draped deluxe fabric, a pearlescent pink, almost winter-white, pair of the most exquisitely crafted pointe shoes lie. You fail to restrain the exasperated sigh of awe at the sight, carefully grazing your fingertips over its silky satin finish as if the slightest touch could possibly damage them. You can confidently say, they are the most beautiful gift you have ever had the pleasure of receiving. 

“No secret admirer,” she says.” Valeria quirks an eyebrow up at you.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's probably just costuming.” You dismiss her far-fetched conspiracies, though, you find it hard to draw your eyes away from the pair of shoes, and the fact that this had definitely not come from the costume department. So who had sent you these?

"Ha, as if Mr. Baryshev would ever allow the budget given to costuming to be used for anything but lining his own pockets!” She laughs bitterly. 

“I’ve been-” Valeria exhales out a frustrated breath, “-trabajando como un burro to afford the means to get wear this!” She growls, her hands gesturing to the coal-coloured feathered fabric of her intricate bodice and tutu. 

You open your mouth to give her your consolation before a knock comes to the door. You, Valeria, and the rest of the room quieten into hushed murmuring - just for a moment. Then-

“On in 30, Ladies!” A gruff voice hollers from the other side of the door.

The room erupts into chaos.

A tsunami of frantic ballerinas surge forward towards the row of dressers, crashing against each other like the tides of a raging sea you had heard many-medal adorning men recount about in tales of some distant land. The only redeeming thing about conducting post-performance business is the stories and tales you overhear; the rest, you are not so keen on.

You take the distraction in stride, shoving the pair of shoes more like semi-worn in pointe hand-me-downs from costuming somewhere under your vanity, and replacing them with your newly acquired gift.

“You’re going to wear them?!” Valeria hisses incredulously. 

You glance at her sideways, smirking back at the priceless expression of amused disbelief on her face.

“Well, they’re shoes, aren’t they?” You jest, grinning at her mischievously. “It would be a shame not to.”

She shakes her head in mock-dissappointment, haphazardously stuffing her stage makeup in its designated drawer before firmly slamming it shut. 

“I fear my mischief is rubbing off on you too much.” She mumbles as she looks up at you, feigning a tone of dismay, only to be betrayed by the growing smirk on her face. 

“Well,” She smoothes her hands over her slicked-back bun of cropped raven hair, "I'll see you out there." 

You give her your goodbyes as she pats you on the shoulder, rising from her chair and making her way toward the dressing room’s door. 

“Don’t let the Director find out,” Valeria whisper-shouts from over her shoulder. “You know what he’s like.”

She ushers the remaining lingering corps-de-ballet girls out of the changing rooms, winking at you as she closes the door gently behind her. 

You listen as the chatter slowly retreats from beneath the doorframe, Valeria’s distinct, accented laughter mingled with that of fast-paced Russian retreating down the echoey corridor ‘till you could hear it no more. A serene silence hugs the now-semi abandoned dressing room; those, including you, who aren’t to appear until later acts remain, a more pacific atmosphere stirs, with subdued gossiping, softer laughter, and a more slowing-encroaching sense of time.

You slump in your chair. 

You have a long evening ahead of you.

The rear of house is relatively quieter now.

You can no longer hear the lively chatter associated with the pre-performance buzz, only the occasional hushed conversation resurfacing through the suffocating silence as people pass by. Walking backstage is always an awkward feat, your pointe shoes make an unpleasantly loud noise against the cold concrete floor with each precarious step you take. 

You had felt bad for having to break them in; they were an extraordinaryly well-crafted pair of pointé shoes, they fit perfectly too, and you were certain the price tag was even more extravagant. You still hadn’t resolved the identity of the mystery gifter, but you’d make sure to thank them profusely for their kindness. For now, however, you have a debut to make. 

Your feet thump rapidly as you semi-rush toward the entrance to the left wing. The further you near, the more people it seems are gathered in anticipation for their appearances onstage. The conversation is greater here than that of in the deeper bowels of the theatre where the dressing room had been. Mingling herds of ballerinas and dancers lean idle against the walls, stretching in preparation for their scenes, and chatting amongst themselves, but done so in more gentle, lower tones so as not to alert the audience of their presence a mere wall away. 

They regard you with reassuring smiles and words of good luck as you briskly waddle by; you reciprocate them with a short-but-sweet smile. 

The music grows in amplitude as you enter the left wing officially; the once gentle thrumming is replaced with an all-encompassing eruption of expertly strung-together instruments. The welcoming embrace of the song is quickly diminished though, much to your dismay because-

The rafters here have always given you the creeps. With no help from Valeria either, who  divulges in gossip of the ‘ballerina’ who had been ‘crushed to death’ by a poorly-secured light fixture on the theatre’s proscenium arch each time she catches you gazing nervously upwards at the looming space. You know it’s mainly just the technicians who lurk up in the rafters, commandeering light cues and stage transformation sequences as the ballet progresses. 

‘You have nothing to fear’, you admonish yourself. 

Still, that doesn’t stop the hair on the back of your neck from standing up as you approach the left stage-side.

Your presence goes unnoticed for not even a second. 

Someone speaks your name in a hushed whisper.

You peer over your shoulder at the source of the sound; the silhouette of a stout-statured man emerges from the left-wing doorway. He seizes you suddenly by the shoulders before you even have time to recognise the overly-touchy-friendly Mr. Ustrashkin.

You stagger at the sudden force with which he embraces you, regaining your balance with an awkward squeak. It is only then do you see the disconcerted look that his face has taken on.

“Mr Ustrashkin?” You begin hesitantly. “Is something the matter?”

“Walk with me, dear.” He requests, but he has already pulled you into motion with the firm grip of his hand on your shoulder.

The two of you trail off to the side to make way for the group of pas de corps, and for the privacy of what you can only assume to be bad news. The ballerinas smile respectfully at you, lowering their heads slightly as they account for your company before skittering off, their ghostly white tutus fluttering by behind them like swirling snowflakes. 

When the last of the dancers had passed by, Mr. Ustrashkin speaks again. You take the small queue of silence to compose yourself exteriorly for what is to come. 

“Something..." He stalls, theatrically contemplating the correct word to use before resuming. "...unexpected came up within these previous hours. A true shame it is, but Fyodor, your dance partner, has sustained an ankle injury. As you can understand, he will be out of commission for the foreseeable future, and unfortunately is unable to perform with you tonight." 

Your heart sinks. It collapses from your chest cavity like a marionette doll on snapped strings; as its puppet master surveilled with cruel glee from above. You wonder what you had done to anger God, for him to administer such a thing onto you. On today of all days too. 

“Oh, um, I-” You stumble over your words in a tangled array of shock, panic, disbelief and uncertainty.  

“None of that now, little swan.” Mr. Ustrashkin tuts, almost as one would scold a misbehaving child. 

You recoil at the unwanted nickname, but are too overcome with internal panic at the newly arisen situation to pay it much mind. Saying anything anyways will get you in trouble, and you have climbed too far into the good graces of the executives of the company to fall out of favour for something so insignificant. 

You struggle to maintain your composure, hanging on the thread of internal and external unbridled alarm. You bite the inside of your cheek to withhold any curses from escaping your mouth.

‘On all days this could have possibly happened on.’ You mumble to yourself mentally. 

“So, if Fyodor isn’t dancing tonight..” Your eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, eyes trailing from Mr. Ustrashkin and the conversation at hand to the semi-concealed view of the stage. “Who is dancing Prince Siegfried onstage as we speak?”

Swan Lake has been going for around an hour by now, but with your appearance not until the second act, you needn’t be in as much of a rush as those in the first. You had spent that time responsibly; the majority of which was in the dressing room ensuring the costuming was to standard and ogling over the anonymous gift. Much to your displeasure, that also meant you didn’t have the pleasure of seeing everyone off at curtain opening, and you hadn’t been able to catch a glimpse of this ‘Mactavish’ Mr Ustrashkin had been singing his praises about to you. 

"Do not fret that pretty little head," The plump man quips. Mr. Ustrashkin pats your back, presumably in an act of reassurance, but the force which he uses almost sends you stumbling forward. "His understudy, Mactavish, has taken up his role."

“Mactavish?” Your head tilts to the side as the syllables of the foreign-sounding name roll off your tongue with a questioning implication. 

“Oh yes!” He startles with a cheery smile. “A wonderful dancer through and through. We scouted his talent in London and had him transferred from The Royal Ballet to dance for us instead.” He rambles on in recollection. “Though the two of you aren’t properly acquainted yet, I’m sure he’ll be substantial as a dance partner in Fyodor’s absence.”

All you can do is nod your head absentmindedly, hoping to be relieved of his unwanted presence. And, like all men are, his attention is quickly drawn to another. 

A loud laugh barks out from across in the right wing. 

“Valeria!” The now-agitated man growls lowly, his teeth grinding together as he storms toward her as quickly as his little legs can carry him. 

‘So that’s where she went,’ you think, half-bemused, half-concerned. You also thank her in your head for unknowingly getting you out of a conversation you no longer had any interest in being involved in.

Rolling your shoulders to relieve some tension that had been building up, your eyes search diligently for someplace to stretch before your presence on stage is needed. Finding one, you make sure to apply an ample amount of rosin to the bottom of your shoes before skittering your way over. 

The minutes pass by neither quickly nor slowly, more like a muddled mixture of the two. Your body moves without control, years and years of dedicated practice leading up to this much anticipated moment allowing your body to memorize the moves. Your thoughts, however, are the fore-focus of your attention. They rumble through your mind like a blinding blizzard, burying any logical thought with a suffocating, unmoveable barrier of bleak snow and amounting stage fright. 

The Pit Orchestra unleashes Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 1: No. 9, Finale Andante’s crescendo upon the awestricken audience as such Zeus would do to the land below Mount. Olympus with his thunderbolts. If you dare a glance, you may manage to see Mr. Lenkov strumming his harp melodically, or his musical protégé he can’t help himself but boast about day in-day out. 

The floor beneath your feet vibrates as the composition reverberates deafeningly throughout the auditorium; you would struggle to believe the crystal chandelier that looms overhead is not swinging violently nor the champagne glasses the aristocrats’ cradle has not shattered at the absurd volume. Though, it could just be the nervous shaking of your legs.

You catch fleeting visions of the dancers on stage; their shadows flickering in and out of view like the dimming flame of candlelight. Your thoughts are once again drawn back to Fyodor’s supposed understudy. Not once had you had a recital with him, and so you could only hope he was adequately practiced for his role. 

The melody of Act 1’s final act concludes with the triumphant trill of the violin ensemble. The audience erupts into an oscillating ovation; cheering, clapping, whistling; at a volume so loud it could rival its predecessor. Your doubts about Mactavish’s adequacy are quickly disproven. 

It only brings a sliver of comfort, however. 

You linger in the shadows for a moment, trembling fingers brushing hesitantly against the fabric before you. Then, cautiously, you peer out from behind the safety of the illustrious velvet curtains. Your jittery hands fiddle with their golden tassels as you gaze at the exceedingly large audience. The auditorium of the theatre had never been so full.

You try not to let the sheer amount of people overwhelm you; a thousand thousand faces staring stagebound.

You fail.

And as the announcer commences the beginning of tonight's performance, you also fail to notice the man watching you from across the other side of the stage.

 “Bolshoi Ballet proudly presents Swan Lake!”

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[swdgf]

ed cw

.

thinking a little too much lately which is a dangerous place to be :-( but ughh it rly does suck that my ed was at its worst when (i feel) i peaked in every other aspect…academically! socially! dating! and all that happens to be when i think i looked best physically(warped perception) sometimes i catch myself romanticizing that period of my life.. but i have to remember the hair loss, the constant migraines, the random heart palpitations, always feeling cold and tired, how abjectly MISERABLE i was

[eleganzadellarosa]

Can’t Do It Like Me

pairing: jealous ex!choi san x fem!reader

genre: Smut (you already know)

warnings: MDNI (rough sex, jealous sex, cheating (don’t condone it but it fits the plot), choking, manhandling, slight spit play, oral (m and f receiving), mirror sex, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy), squirting, daddy kink, degradation, honestly some toxic shit happens)

word count: 4.1K+

A/N: As soon as I think of it, I come straight to Tumblr. Also San if you see this, I’m sorry 😔 Anyways, enjoy and thanks for reading :)

Every year like clockwork you had to be reminded of a past relationship that could’ve been something special. The notification popping up on your phone “Remember this day?” Yes. You did remember and you wish you could forget but you also couldn’t find the strength to delete the pictures.

Choi San. The man you described as “husband material” at some point in time, only to recall the many moments of toxicity that lead to the breakup. From the distrust to watching your location like a movie, he was possessive and sometimes even that was an understatement. He made sure everyone knew you were his and almost got into a few fights over it.

Eventually, you opened your eyes to how you always excused his behavior and finally put your foot down. You deserved a healthy relationship with a person who strives for the same thing. You were glad San wasn’t in your life anymore, he made it too stressful.

But at the same time, you missed him. Sometimes at night when your hands were between your legs, you'd think about him. You loved your current boyfriend, he was just what you were looking for. But with the recent growing distance in your relationship, maybe all good things in your life were destined to come to an end. He was always away for work, only coming home to see you maybe once every two months or so. A year into the relationship is when things started to change and now that it’s going on two years, you constantly felt alone and your vibrator wasn’t strong enough to keep you sane.

Your phone was ringing; a facetime call.

“Omg hey babe, to what do I owe this spontaneous phone call?”

He chuckled before answering, “Hey baby, I’m just calling to ask you a quick question.” He proceeded when you nodded your head. “Are you busy this weekend? The company’s having a joint event with another company and I may need a plus one.” The tone of his voice inflected upwards as he neared the end of his sentence.

Your heart jumped with excitement. Of course it wasn't a logical comparison to how much he loved you, but you felt the need to be paraded around; labeled as "his girlfriend". You haven't been feeling special recently, so a public event would hopefully be the perfect remedy.

“Oh my gosh babe of course I'm not busy! I’ll go choose my outfit right now!” He let out a hearty laugh on the other end when you squealed, jumping off the bed, leaving him to listen to you rustle around in your closet.

You quickly retrieve your phone when you remember and say your “I love yous” and goodbyes before hanging up. Saturday was only two days away so you’d need to put together the perfect outfit within that time frame. Luckily for you, you owned the perfect dress in his favorite color and your only goal was to make him want to completely ruin you wherever he pleases.

It was disappointing to say the least. Everything about this ride felt expensive. The limo itself, the sparking Swarovski detailing on the interior, the bottles of champagne. You felt wined and dined, but the thing you craved the most was missing. He seemed distant in a way. Maybe it was his body language; sitting with his legs turned away from you, dazing into the space behind you as you spoke. Or perhaps, it was the way his hand gripped his phone and peeked at it every time it'd buzz with a notification.

"Maybe he's always been like this" you tell yourself, blaming it on having not been around each other in a while. The thought of the both of you drifting away, tearing at the seams, was saddening. But you definitely weren't the one to blame and neither was he; maybe his determination and drive. As much as you wanted to be here with him right now, your mind kept drifting to San. He would be giving you his undivided attention. A hand or your knee, or knowing San, a seat in his lap. But enough about him, he was too toxic of a person for you to only recall his good traits.

buzz buzz

You looked at your boyfriend from a peripheral view, a bright smile across his face. It made your stomach churn, it just didn't sit right with you.

"Oh who's that?" you ask, leaning over toward him slightly.

He quickly shut it off and put it in his pocket. "Sorry babe, I was just answering a few texts from the guys. We have this group chat with all of us just so we can talk shit about my boss."

"Oh is he an asshole or something?"

"Yes but enough about my job baby, I wanna hear more about you. I missed you so much." He cupped your chin in his hand and planted a kiss on your lips.

You felt bad for thinking so ill of him when nothing was going on. Maybe that was something you never let go of with your relationship with San. He taught you what real anxiety was and you could never forgive him for that. The limo came to a stop and you peeked out the window to your right to see the destination. You felt like a movie star as you gazed at the long staircase in front of the building. You imagined each side lined with paparazzi, ready to take pictures of the beautiful couple exiting their limo.

Your door opened before you realized you had been daydreaming. Your boyfriend extended his hand for you to grab hold and finally walk up into the venue for the night. The inside was just as gorgeous as the outside. Chandeliers, marble flooring, expensive art lining the walls; the whole nine yards. When everyone comes into view, his arm is immediately around your waist. He introduced you to his colleagues and even to his boss which made you chuckle thinking back on the secret he told you about earlier. Everything was going well for you, yet for someone else, things were moving in a terrible direction.

San spotted you from across the large space, the conversation he was having fading completely the more he watched you. His jaw shifted and clenched seeing your boyfriend with his arm around your waist and hand on your ass. He didn’t deserve you. Sure San knew he wasn’t always the best boyfriend to you, but he could do so much better than whatever your boyfriend was attempting. Based on how giddy you looked, you probably haven’t seen him or spent much time with him lately, or so San thinks.

He remembers like yesterday hearing you tell him that you couldn’t be with him if he didn’t change, and at the time he couldn’t understand what that meant. He thinks he’s matured since then, at least in the way you wanted him to but seeing another man touch you made him realize maybe he has a lot more growing to do if he wanted to stay true to his claims.

He excused himself and made his way over to you. There was nothing wrong with going to talk to his absolutely beautiful ex girlfriend right? Your eyes widened seeing the broad shoulders clad in white approaching you. Your stomach twisted in knots, from both anxiety and flashbacks of your last encounter with him.

“Fancy seeing you here gorgeous.” San reached his point of interest, staring down the man at your side.

“San…how wonderful it is to see you.” You spoke with a forced smiled, trying your best to slow your heart rate. “How’s life treating you?”

It really was quite the surprise seeing him here, as this was the last place you thought to be bumping into him. It got you thinking what this event was for and how the hell he was even invited. Maybe, as you were, he was just someone's plus one. Although, that didn’t take away from the fact that you didn’t want to see him right now, especially knowing how weak you were for him still.

“Hmm it could be better if a certain someone was still in it.”

At that, your boyfriend turned to San, lip turned up in annoyance, “Do you know this guy babe?”

He and San exchanged fighting glances and you stepped in before things could get heated. “Yeah he's…an old friend. This is San.” You weren't sure why you lied, but it felt better to not reveal too much.

Your boyfriend extends his hand out to San reluctantly and San rolls his eyes before finishing the handshake. Things went well for the most part, although you would catch San staring at you, even throwing in a wink one of the times. Luckily your boyfriend caught none of it, knowing it definitely would have engaged his fight or flight response.

After a while, your boyfriend received a call on his phone and he excused himself saying it was important. You dismissed it and he gave you a kiss on the cheek before he walked away. San caught glimpse of the interaction and sneakily followed behind him through the heavy back doors. You stood by yourself at the table, taking small sips of your champagne. A hand slides across the small of your back and rests on your left hip. You turned expecting your boyfriend, only to see San with an unreadable expression. You tried to sidestep out of his hold but he tightened his grip on you.

“Hey don’t leave yet, we haven’t even gotten the chance to really talk beautiful.”

“Yeeeah…San we can’t be doing this right now.” You put a hand up to his chest and he backs away slightly.

“Doing what? Talking? He won’t let you talk to your friends?”

You scoffed, “No, he’s not controlling. And we’re not friends. It’s just I don’t know how comfortable I am talking to my ex who just put his arm around me.”

He rolled his eyes again, shifting his stance to prop a hand on the table, leaning against it to look at you. “Hmm well part of me thinks he doesn’t care.”

If only he wasn't starting to piss you off, you could finish admiring how good he looked. Wider shoulders, more defined arms and even his pecs were bigger. But you knew San and how he was when it came to you. He was possessive, sometimes it was for your own good but most times it just felt like he needed control over you in every way or he wouldn’t survive.

But you had to admit, that was his only flaw. Everything else about him was absolutely mind blowing, especially when it came to satisfying your needs. Your mind ran wild with thoughts. Thoughts of things you shouldn’t be thinking of as a taken woman. Yet, San making eye contact and the firmness of his chest under your hand earlier flooded you with memories of every time he’s fucked you into the mattress.

This was starting to get a bit out of hand and you weren't sure what else San had up his sleeve.

"You look good in your dress." He said looking you up and down, practically eating you with his eyes.

Come to think of it, he was the first to comment on your dress, your boyfriend hadn't mentioned it at all tonight. "Thank you, you also look very nice." You averted your eyes as you took another sip from the glass.

He stood up straight and stood a bit closer to you and rubbed a hand down your back as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, catching you off guard. It made it ten times worse with your dress being backless and the fabric dipping dangerously close to the waistband of your lace panties.

"If I were him, I'd take you somewhere to fuck you in it. Makes me wonder who he could be on the phone with right now. Think about it, if it were me, I would have my hands all over you.”

He was right. It was a fear that seeped into your subconscious every time he would miss one of your calls and blame it on work and how he acted in the limo earlier. He was starting to feel more than an arm's reach but you knew his job was demanding. So when he asked you to come out with him tonight, you decided to forget it all and allow yourself to have a great time and hope you would end your night moaning his name.

You hated San for bringing the thought back to you and you hated that his possessive personality was also a turn on at times but you knew better than to let yourself fall in his traps. A blush grew on your cheeks feeling the warmth of his breath tickle your ear. This was bad, you needed to stop him in his tracks before your boyfriend came back and questioned you. This had to end right here right now.

You pushed him into the nearest room, one you didn’t expect to be a bathroom, but anywhere was fine as long as no one saw where you went and with who. You carefully locked the door and turned to face him; he already had that arrogant smirk on his face.

“San what the hell?!” You shoved him on the chest. “I was hoping you weren’t going to cause any trouble, but I guess I was wrong. Why do you want to fuck up everything for me?”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Are you even happy? You melted right into my touch earlier.” He walked closer to you, pinning you between him and the sink. “I didn’t say anything wrong either, he's a joke of a boyfriend whether you want to admit it or not.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, "Oh what? you think you can do better?"

He stared down at you, face contort in a stern expression. “I know I messed things up for us, but I think we can both agree that he doesn’t deserve you.” He grabs your hand and slides it down his chest, all the way down to his crotch.

“Feel that? You miss it don’t you? He must not fuck you good enough. He must not fuck you how I used to.”

“San…” he put a finger to your lips.

“Oh baby…I can see it written all over your face. Just ask me and I’ll give you what you want.” He steps even closer to you and tilts your chin up with his finger. “Say you’re my slut and I’ll fuck you better than he ever could.” He lifted you and sat you on the edge of the sink.

So much for not falling into his traps. You looked up at him with doe eyes and he looked down waiting for your answer. “I’m your slut…San please…” you were damn near out of breath and your head was spinning with how badly you wanted it; wanted him.

A pleased smile spread on his face. “My good girl, I knew you could do it.” His fingers tapped onto your lips and you happily sucked on two while he kept eye contact. He took them from your mouth and used them to rub slow circles on your clit. “Good girls kiss daddy.”

He lowered his lips onto yours, immediately slipping his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues danced together as he slipped his fingers into you. He wasted no time pumping them quickly against your sensitive spot, earning whines and whimpers.

“You need to forget him for a while and let me make up for all the shit he can’t do.” He spread your thighs and kneeled down between them. “I want you to remember this next time he even thinks he can do better than me.”

He kept eye contact while he licked along the slit of your still clothed pussy, stopping to suck harshly on the clit. You were holding your breath, your last resort for trying to keep in your moans. He hasn’t done much and your toes were already curling. He finally pushed your panties to the side and circled his tongue over your bundle of nerves.

Your hands tangled in his hair, pushing him closer to you, bucking your hips slightly against his face. He grabbed your legs and made them rest against his broad shoulders, your heels digging into his back. He added a finger into the mix, breaching your walls in an attempt to get you louder. Surely it was working more than you'd have liked.

Your head leaned back almost hitting the mirror as your chest heaved. Your toes curled and you pulled harshly at his dark locks making him groan against your skin. He sat up and roughly rid you of your panties before shoving them in his pocket.

“You don’t need these anymore. On your knees.” The way he said it gave you no room to disobey, so you shakily hopped off the sink and he pushed you down onto your knees. He unzipped his pants, letting his dick pop free. Thick and heavy looking as always and now you wanted nothing more than to wrap your lips around it. He grabbed your chin in his hand, “Open.”

You opened your mouth to let him spit in it, he loved messy head and he knew you did it best. He wasted no time in shoving his dick into your mouth and almost down your throat. He gathered your hair in his fist and bobbed your head at a quick pace.

“Go ahead, touch that pussy while I fuck your throat. Don’t stop until I tell you to.”

He knew how much you loved to be dominated, it was easy for him. The look of you on your knees gagging on his dick only made him harder and want to fuck your throat faster, but he wouldn’t be satisfied if you left this bathroom before he got to bend you over.

He pulled you off of him admiring the tears brimming your eyes and the puffiness of your lips. It was crazy to think that your boyfriend was the one sleeping next to you every night and San’s bed was empty. He deserved you more than some man who he found saying “I love you” on the phone with another woman. He deserved to fuck all your worries away. If you gave him a second chance, he would do better. Better than anyone else ever could. You were his forever and you seemed to have forgotten that, but he didn’t mind reminding you.

“Bend over the sink.” He kissed along your spine when you did, your eyes closing in ecstasy. “You ready for this dick?” He was so close, lips ghosting over your ear sending shudders down your back.

As soon as the word “yes” left your mouth, you felt the head of his dick rub harshly between your folds. Your chest felt tight, your heart was beating fast and you could barely keep your eyes open. He kissed in the crook of your neck making you look at him through the mirror as he slid in until he bottomed out. You could cum just from that small movement alone but you’d much rather wait until he fucks you right.

“You missed this didn’t you?” He pulled almost all the way out and slammed back in causing you to yelp from the sudden action. “I missed this pussy…I missed you.” His thrusts sped up to a demonic pace, the wet noises from the constant slapping of skin filled the bathroom effortlessly.

“S-san it feels so good~” you said through moans.

“I know baby, but I’m sad because you’re not using my name.” He used his other hand to wrap around your neck. He squeezed and made you even more lightheaded; It was perfect. “You didn’t forget it did you?”

“N-no Daddy n-never.” It was true and it was why you were never able to use it for your boyfriend. As much as you tried to forget San and how much he consumed your life, it was hard.

He tightened his grip on your hips and rolled his into yours. Of course it was wrong, but this is the most pleasure you’ve felt in a long time; admittedly since the last time you were with San. He had a way of handling you that set your senses on fire. He was exactly what you wanted and with the expectation of getting fucked tonight, you didn’t want to foil your own plans.

“Look how I fit right in. This pussy is mine forever."

He raised one of your legs onto the sink and grabbed a fistful of your hair, continuously plunging into you. Your eyes were rolling back and he patted your cheek, bringing your attention back to him.

“Mm mm, look at you. Look how pretty you look fucked out on my dick. Watch me fuck you just how you like.”

You didn’t want to see yourself in this state, it only made it feel more real. Your tongue lolled out slightly, one strap of your dress draped low on your shoulder and he held one of your breasts roughly. It was a lewd sight to say the least and the sounds that were coming from the speed San was fucking you made it no better.

There was a knock on the door and your head tried to whip in that direction but San tugged harder on your hair. He quickly told the person on the other side of the door that it was occupied, not expecting for them to say anything back.

“Y/N are you in there?” The voice of your boyfriend grated against your ears like nails on a chalkboard. You were guilty and moaning like you were unable to produce any other sound.

San’s eyes darkened and he smiled wickedly. “Oh yes she is and she’s busy.” He leaned forward and whispered in your ear, “Let’s put on a show for him, let him know who owns this pussy.”

He sped up his thrusts and quickly rubbed on your clit. You squirmed in his hold, trying to do everything you could to not scream from the pleasure. Nothing worked and now your boyfriend and maybe several other people could hear what you and San were doing.

“This pussy all for me?” He was an expert with how he rolled his hips into you; he was so deep and repeatedly hitting your sweet spot.

“Fuck Daddy, yes! It feels so good!” Your legs were like jelly and your orgasm was a few more thrusts away.

“You’ll never find someone who can fuck you like this? Who can make you beg for it?”

You whimpered loudly in response. You thought it wasn’t possible but he fucked you harder, fucked you faster and with the abuse on your clit there was no more delaying your bliss. You came hard, squirting onto the floor and partially on the man behind you. Your walls were squeezing him so tightly and he loved every single second.

"You gonna let me cum inside so you can take me home with you, hmm?" His thrusts were getting sloppier but he never slowed down and never stopped rubbing your clit.

The overstimulation and the way he spoke to you was driving you mad, you didn't think about anything else in this moment besides making this a night to remember.

"Yes Daddy fill me up, please please please!" You knew he loved it when you begged, especially for him to empty all his cum in you. Tonight was no different and he came in a few more thrusts.

"You did so well baby, took it so well." He gave you more kisses to your shoulder as he gently pulled out and let go of your leg.

By this time your boyfriend was already banging on the door, demanding that you let him in. San made sure to clean the both of you up before he let you out of his sight. You walked to the door, taking a deep breath as you unlocked it; San close behind. Your boyfriend looked like he could pop at any second with how red his face was.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You see one old friend and you let him fuck you in the bathroom? IN PUBLIC?!"

He almost shoved at your arm, but San does it to him first. "I don't suggest you follow through with that. And maybe next time you should make sure your girlfriend is happy before you start running your mouth."

"That IS my girlfriend, back the fuck off!"

"Oh her?" San points and quickly glances in your direction. "No, she's mine, I was referring to the one you were on the phone with, but maybe you're already forgetting about her too."

And with that, your now ex-boyfriend had nothing left to say but apologize to you as you walked away with San. Maybe all things did come to an end, but perhaps for good reason.

[literaila]

worth

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: the past comes back to haunt you, as it usually does.

warnings: angst, allusions to disassociation, hurt/comfort, mama is sad

last part | next part

*

year five.

"wait for me," satoru tells megumi, as soon as he starts walking away. 

you're watching as megumi hangs his head, looking like he'd failed at his one objective--escaping--and turns around, glaring at satoru. 

you've all been out shopping for the past two hours. getting the kids new clothes, shoes, whatever else satoru swears they need... 

honestly, he's kind of cute running around like a maniac from store to store. showing tsumiki a cute dress she could wear, or teasing megumi into trying on a sweatshirt that matches his. 

it's quite possibly the only reason you haven't complained. 

or pointed out that both of the kids are on the verge of whining all the way home. or that he doesn't need to spend 100,000 yen to make them happy. 

"hurry up," megumi tells the man, basically growling at him. 

satoru grins and ruffles his hair, resting a hand on his back as the two of them begin to navigate through the crowd. mostly likely, neither of them knows where they're going. 

you're not even sure where a bathroom is in this district. 

"we'll wait here," you call out, nudging tsumiki. satoru turns briefly to give you a little peace sign, a little grin, and then he murmurs something to megumi you can't hear and they're both gone. 

you're a little worried about them being alone together in this state but you ignore it.

"guess it's just you and me, miki," you say to the little girl at your side. she beams up at you, nodding. "do you want to sit down? how do the shoes feel?" 

"mmm," she looks down, blinking at the sparkly shoes satoru insisted were perfect for her. "they're rubbing at my ankles a little." 

"we can get some new socks, too. that should help. c'mon, i think there's a bench over there." 

she grabs your hand as you begin towards the bench, humming something under her breath. 

you look down to smile at her and don't notice the person walking by, accidentally bumping into them. "oh, i'm sorry, excuse us--" you turn and your entire body lurches away from you. 

for a brief moment, you're not yourself. your conscious moves in an instant, ready to defend itself from everything, anything. you're not yourself, but someone else. someone you used to know very well. 

"i--" you breathe, freezing at the person in front of you. 

tsumiki pulls on your hand a little, confused when you stop suddenly. she looks to the woman standing in front of you, with a bizarre look on her face, and then tsumiki's brown eyes go back to you, her face riddled with curiosity. 

"y/n?"

i don't remember a lot about her but i remember hugging her when she got home from work, and the way she said my name-- 

you want to forget it all. 

it's clear now, several years later, that you would rather forget everything about her--about this woman standing in front of you, basically a reflection of yourself--than have to do this all over again. then have to face the memories of what she did to you. then put that child through any of it. 

"hi--hey," you say because you have to. 

here's the thing about seeing your mom for the first time in a decade: you can't just pretend you didn't. 

you'd like to turn right around and walk away. you'd like to pretend that you've grown sometime in the past nine years, that you've turned into someone who doesn't need to stay and talk to her. you'd like to think that you're someone who can cut her right out of your life and feel all of the better for it. 

but you're not. 

you can't run away from your mother. you can't apologize for bumping into her and turn around with tsumiki's hand in yours and forget about it. actually, you can't even move right now. 

because there's still this girl inside of you.

there's still this child, a teenager who tried so desperately to earn the approval of this woman and never got it. who tried so hard to be everything that this woman wanted, but could never try enough. 

and she's clinging to your chest right now, breathing into your skin like a toxin, digging her nails into your heart and begging you to try again. telling you that you've got another shot, a chance she couldn't have--

so you can't leave now. not when you owe it to her, to yourself to try, to trick yourself into believing that it was just a fault of your own, that your childhood memories are only the result of some flaws you've already fixed. 

you can't walk away when your mind is stuck on her, her, and--tsumiki. 

your broken eyes turn to her.

your little girl who is standing right beside you, waiting for your next move. if you told her to run, she would. if you told her to stay by your side and say nothing, to hide behind you, she would. she wouldn't even ask you what was going on. 

but for no reason at all, you can't tell tsumiki anything. you can't whisper to her that it's fine, that everything is fine. you can't introduce her or drag her away. 

you can't do anything and it's never felt worse. 

"i thought that was you," your mother says, tilting her head at you. she's staring like this is just a casual bump in. like you're colleagues who haven't seen each other since she went on vacation. "you look... grown." 

you feel naive. there's nothing you can say to this woman to prove to her that you're better than you were. that you're far too good for her.

"thanks," you whisper, even though you know it's not a compliment. it's an instinct to appeal to her. to be polite and perfect.

your mom clasps her hands together. if you were looking at her--which you're not, you wouldn't dare--you might be able to tell that she's uncomfortable with you being there. almost surprised. 

maybe she just assumed that you'd die as soon as you left the comfort of your childhood home. maybe she thought that they would've kicked you out of jujutsu high a day after you arrived, leaving you to starve on the street just like she did. 

"well, how are you?" 

you swallow. "i'm good." 

she nods, and then she looks to your side and finally notices tsumiki there. 

tsumiki, with her precious face, her beautiful brown eyes, and carefully organized hair. 

you're not sure what your mother sees when she looks at her.

you wish more than anything that you could hide her. you don't want your mom's--you don't want this woman's eyes on her. you don't want her to say a single word to your daughter. 

"and who's this?" 

but you can't just send her away. you have no idea where satoru went, and tsumiki can't walk around on her own. not right now, not when you're so preoccupied. 

you just can't walk away. 

tsumiki holds her hand out, just like you taught her. "i'm tsumiki fushiguro." 

"it's nice to meet you," your mother answers, shaking her hand warily like she's certain that she might get an infection from tsumiki's skin. and then she looks at you, not daring to ask what she wants to.

you clench your jaw, wanting to slap her hand away from tsumiki. 

you should've put up a barrier a minute ago. the only possible block between you and a woman who doesn't deserve the pleasure of meeting tsumiki. who deserves no explanations from you. 

but your cursed energy is frozen in place, and you know that if you shut yourself in, you'll never get back out. 

"my daughter," you add, a bit louder now. 

your mom's eyebrows raise immediately and she pauses, looking between the two of you, searching for some useless resemblance. like it isn't obvious that you share a bond, just from the way your hands are intertwined. like it's not obvious that you braided tsumiki's hair, or helped her pick out the shoes she's wearing. 

like it might not be true. 

still, she asks tsumiki, "how old are you?" 

"twelve." 

and you know where her mind goes immediately. thinking that it can't be possible. she knew you when you were twelve, and you certainly weren't pregnant with the little girl standing beside you. you certainly weren't developing any maternal skills locked away in your room, with only the curse that liked to hide in the walls to teach you.

it brings that resentment to the surface of your core, threatening to burst through your skin. you feel suddenly so angry you can't bear it. 

and you're not that girl anymore, you realize. you haven't been since you met nanami and haibara and satoru. 

since you learned that you were only a child and not a trophy that needed to live up to its name. 

"well," your mom sighs, shaking her head. "i can't say this is what i expected." 

"excuse me?" 

"really, what do you know about children, y/n? don't you think you're a little young?" 

tsumiki looks up at you with a frown, about to ask what she means when you stop her. 

you squeeze her hand and look away, into the eyes of the woman who created you--who has that string of biology she just judged you and tsumiki for lacking--and still didn't care. 

she is nothing if not the proof that dna means absolutely nothing. 

"what do you know about children, mom?" you repeat, rhetorically. "at least i know that a ten-year-old shouldn't spend every hour of the day locked in their room, waiting for someone to come let them out." 

"i'm shocked that you--" 

"at least i know that a child is a gift and not a toy to hide away when you get bored of it." 

your mom scoffs. "i can't believe this--"

"neither can i," you say and look to your daughter, who's got wide brown eyes and a confused sort of fear on her face. she doesn't need to hear anything else you have to say to this woman. you smile at her, soft as ever. "go look for dad, okay? he shouldn't be far." 

it's been five minutes, and satoru's probably right around the corner, you rationalize. he's going to come pick up tsumiki and rescue you any second now. 

tsumiki nods immediately, letting go of your hand. she turns to go do what you said, but before she can there's a strong hand on your shoulder, a body right beside yours, and you almost gasp in relief. 

"found him," tsumiki tells you, softly. 

you turn to satoru, wanting to beg him to carry you away from her, to get you away from her--but the words won't come. you're too struck by the view of his face, and the knowledge that when you finally escape from this, he's going to be right there. 

satoru was there the first time, and he'll linger for the second. 

his shaded eyes look back at you, observing for a second, reading your mind, and then he turns. 

megumi is trailing at his side, holding a shopping bag. he looks between this stranger and you, a cautious look on his face. 

tsumiki is telling him something without any words. 

"hello," satoru says, smoothly, breaking the silence. "i don't believe we've met. do you know y/n?" 

your mother frowns, scoffing. "i'm her mother." 

you can see it when satoru reels back, looking between the two of you for a moment, an intense realization on his face. 

maybe he can see the resemblance. the face that might be your own in just a few years. 

or maybe, finally, he can feel the horrors of being raised by her. all of the things you've never dared to tell him. 

you're pleading satoru for something with your eyes but you're not even sure what.

"there's another one?" your mom asks, almost disgusted, as satoru processes. "how old are you?" 

megumi frowns. he walks over to tsumiki, who's already picked up your hand, and asks you: "this is your mom?" 

you nod at him, relieved more than anything that he's there, with the rest of you. and that if you can't explain, satoru will handle it. 

megumi considers it for a second. "are you sure?" 

and you want to laugh so abruptly that it shocks you. you want to grab him by the face and kiss all across his cheeks. 

tsumiki is already smiling at you like she knows this. her grip is strong against yours.

satoru smiles at your mom, a vicious ugly thing. "did you need something from her?" 

"i--no, we just ran into each other," she tells him, seemingly confused by his entire presence. she looks at you. "who is he? another child of yours?" 

satoru licks his lips. "not quite." 

you're about to answer when he grabs your empty hand, shaking his head. "i don't think there's anything y/n needs to say to you," he tells her, coldly. then he looks at you. "is there?" 

"no," you whisper, coveting the feeling of his hand in yours. the two children at your side, who know what it's like to be loved. megumi and tsumiki, who will never feel unwanted, as long as you have a say in it. 

satoru nods, guffly, and turns. "it was a pleasure to meet you," he says, and he moves all of you away. you can almost feel it when he shields the three of you from the rest of the world.

with his hand in yours, the other in tsumiki's, and megumi on the other side of her, satoru leads you all away from her. 

and you let him. because the three of them are more of a family--a better, safer one--than that woman ever was. 

you can't thank them all for being there, being yours, in this moment, but you will. 

at least you know that. 

*

satoru has been watching you for hours. 

since you all got home and the kids' questions began. 

that was your mom? 

yes. 

why haven't we met her before? 

i haven't seen her in a long time. 

was she upset? 

yes. 

why? 

because i'm happier than she thought i'd be, you said, i have a better family. 

are we going to see her again? 

absolutely not. 

after that, the two of them quieted. satoru could tell that they had more questions, that megumi was curious and tsumiki was worried--but neither of them continued. 

it was almost unspoken that you couldn't take much more. that you needed a break from it, even if you wouldn't say. so they both moved on, resuming their usual antics and talking about the clothes they got, when and where they'd wear them. 

well, mostly tsumiki. but megumi entertained her thoughts for a while at least. 

satoru just watched you. the tiny break within your eyes, the gap between you and the rest of the world. you've remained all the same since you got home. cursed energy small, unchanging. your face in one position like it'll kill you to move it. 

satoru can't stand it, but he doesn't want to intrude. he doesn't want you to push him away too. 

so he only sat there, trying to fill your role (which was impossible) at the dinner table. 

and several hours later, after dinner, after space, satoru still hasn't brought it up. 

but he doesn't get the chance to. because as soon as you've put both of them to bed--insisting on tucking them in and talking to them both separately tonight, like you're making up for something--you're sneaking into satoru's room. 

and he's waiting like he always is. his arms are wide open when you walk into the room, and there's not a moment of hesitation before you fall into them. you don't blink or breathe before you're right against him, keeping yourself up with nothing more than blood and bone. 

satoru hugs you close to him, trying to let everything he feels go, just for you. 

(because he's just angry. 

he's angry that she showed up and ruined your day. he's angry that he wasn't there to keep it from happening. he's angry that when he walked over he could tell there was something wrong because you were frozen--because you were almost barren. no cursed energy, no expression. nothing to draw him to you like usual. 

and he's so angry that he can't do anything to fix it. 

so angry that being the strongest sorcerer of the modern age means nothing when he really needs it to. 

satoru isn't a person who hates. he never hated the people who attempted to tie him down as a kid so he couldn't escape observation. he didn't hate toji when he cut him through the throat. he didn't hate suguru for leaving, or yaga for asking why he didn't stop him. 

he doesn't hate. 

but he hates her.

for taking your face and twisting it around. for stealing your childhood and pretending like she didn't. for holding your precious heart in her hands and acting like it was nothing of value.

he hates her.) 

you both sit there, rocking back and forth, sinking together for a moment. 

and then you sniff, and satoru closes his eyes against your head, not sure what to say to make it all better. 

what he can do to erase this feeling from your body. what he can do to prove to you that you're worth so much more. 

"do you think i'm a good mom?" you whisper to him, as he moves back and forth. 

his heart pauses, needing a moment to consider this. to not feel a fire in his soul at the very suggestion. 

satoru pulls back, frowning. and he makes sure that your eyes are on his when he says, "there's not a person in the world who could take better care of them than you do," he swears, feeling like it's the most honest thing he's ever said. 

he wants to brand the words into your skin just so you never ask such a ridiculous question again. 

"thank you," you say, voice breaking, and satoru wipes the tears falling down your cheeks away. each one a different memory, a terrible moment where someone showed you that you didn't matter. 

and when they continue to fall, satoru continues to wipe them away. 

"do you want to talk about it?" he asks, almost hesitating. he's not sure that he can handle hearing about it--but he would if you needed him to. 

"not tonight," you whisper and fall against him again. 

satoru holds you close. 

and he swears, to whoever is listening, that he'll love you enough to make up for that woman. he'll love you enough to make up for everything.

he loves you enough to be sure of it. 

*

next part | series masterlist

[luneariaa]

ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ "WERE YOU ASLEEP?" ✧ KENJI S.

✰ — mentions of you having some troubled thoughts during the night, implications of self-doubt(?), momentary phone calls, sweet and comforting kenji, pretty much self-indulgent.

. dividers by @/cafekitsune 🌙!!

IT WAS late at night, and yet, your mind itself refused to let you rest, preventing you from getting your own desired slumber. Your sole figure could be seen standing just by the balustrades of the balcony— breathing in the twilight air contentedly despite your turbulent mind.

These thoughts get too much sometimes, allowing yourself to at least try and loosen yourself up for the night— attempting to soothe any present aches and other unneeded distractions, especially from deep within.

You just wished that you'd never end up acting on them— hopefully not. Bad days are normal, so to speak. They'll pass, and eventually, everything will be better again. There's always light at the end of the tunnel, after all, so you keep holding on to that no matter how hard it may get at times.

The will to live is still reasonably strong, even when life itself isn't so kind to you. It gets exhausting, but you'll be there even with tons of struggle that you have to endure in the process.

Taking the phone out of your pocket, you glanced down at the clock, which shows it's exactly at two. Your sleeping schedule is unavoidably messed up, and you knew that you'd probably get an earful of scolding later on.

Breathing out ever so slowly, your fingers almost too subconsciously made their way to your contacts folder— which isn't that much, and ultimately pressed on one of the displayed names.

KEN.

Should I call him, or not?

After a fair minute or two of mentally debating whether to make a call to him, despite it being quite late at night— you did it, in the end. You just needed to talk to him for some unexplainable reasons, even when you don't really have any specific topics to talk about this late.

The phone didn't even need to ring twice when it was being picked up immediately, much to your surprise. Like, at this hour too?

"Hey— that was quick."

"Hey too," he chuckled facetiously over your words, maintaining his push-up position but on one hand. "Wouldn't want to miss a call from my favorite lady ever— and you're lucky I wasn't even asleep yet."

This piqued your interest. "What were you even doing?"

"Just doing some workout. Y'know, the usual." Ah, of course, he would. Even if Kenji already has those toned, healthy physique, he will always try to keep his body in a perfect shape.

"At a time like this? Gosh, you're questionable sometimes." A faint mirth could be heard on both sides of the phone call; sharing a laugh with one another.

"But anyway—" Kenji grabbed the towel nearby and wiped the sweat off his face, still maintaining his hold on the phone. "What's up? Couldn't sleep, hm?"

"Kinda. Got distracted, as usual." You couldn't contain the smile from forming upon your face, already feeling some of your worries gradually alleviated just from hearing his voice alone. "Glad that you aren't asleep yet too."

Kenji grins through the phone, even when you aren't there to witness it— eventually taking a seat on the nearby chair to rest for a while.

"Yeah."

"But seriously, are you alright?" His tone turns a tad bit more apprehensive, just in case since it's a pretty late hour too.

"I am, don't worry."

"It's just that— my thoughts are being quite a bother for some reason. But yeah, it's probably because well, it's late past midnight."

He nodded for a bit from the other side, seemingly understanding of your situation as it happens to him sometimes too.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His simple offer made you think for a few seconds there, not knowing how to reply to him just yet.

"Well.."

"It's just something like— I don't know. Out of all people, you're the only one who stayed the most by my side. I'm so grateful for it, and sometimes, I still can't get used to it for some reason."

"You're too good for me."

He sighs softly, leaning his back slightly against the chair. "Hey, c'mon, don't say that. I did all of this because you genuinely deserved it."

"You deserve nothing less, trust me."

Even when he's unable to catch any glimpse of it, you grin so broadly, feeling touched by his words all over. You're quite the lucky one since it's not really a side he shows to anyone that often, and it radiates warmth; endearing, even.

"You're always the sweetest."

"And so are you, sweetheart."

He asserts tenderly, "That's the least I could do for you. You deserve only the best, and I mean it."

"I'm just glad that you decided to call me, even at this ungodly hour. Even if I'm asleep, just know that I will always try my best to answer."

"I know." You chuckled briefly, before pausing for a bit, contemplating over your next words.

"It's kind of a mess, I just—" Your previous smile drops without a warning, trying your best to remain composed, not wanting to have a sudden mental breakdown on a call with him like this. Why do the emotions have to rush through you like this?

With a quick clear of your throat, you added further. "It makes me confused sometimes, and I just.. Don't know on what to do."

He could notice the hint of shakiness within your voice alone; expression softening ever so slightly yet noticeable— not to anyone but to himself— seemed to understand the internal struggle you're possibly going through at the moment.

"And that's alright. It happens to each of us at times. It's bound to happen in one way or another." Kenji admittedly wasn't really good at giving advice and stuff, but he's willing to try his best to do so, because it's you.

"You don't have to rush things; the world can wait. Sometimes, it's best to let them be, and know that not everything is in our control."

"It's not your fault, if that's what you're wondering."

"I may not get it fully as to what you're thinking and going through right now, but please, remember that you're not alone. You have me."

You allow each of his words to sink in within your mind, making sure to process everything in, and let the deep realization hit you after. You're aware that he's just trying to help you— which you fully appreciated on, and even when it's quite hard to act based on someone's advice at times, you cherish his efforts.

Because no one really did that for you. No one was willing to go that far for you, yet here he is— willing to break through your walls no matter how long it takes and how you've set it up. Taking it slow, he still respected your boundaries despite everything, yet never once gave up on your well-being.

Before you could even give out your own response, his voice came through the phone once more.

"You know what— gimme a few minutes. I'll be there."

Your eyes widened in utter disbelief, like at an ungodly hour like this-?

"Ken, you don't have to do that, it's pretty late."

Despite your attempts of trying to reason with him, it merely falls on deaf ears; rolling his eyes without you knowing. "And you think that's gonna stop me, sweetheart?"

"I'm not gonna let you miss your needed sleep because of your thoughts and inner struggle, okay? And that's final."

Leaving no room for any arguments, he added a few words as his last statement. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't fall asleep just yet, love."

You have no choice, but to simply follow along and concede with him, feeling appreciated deep down; unable to suppress the feeling of warmth and solace from resurfacing within you.

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.

[ilovejoo]

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･��☆

habits they get from dating you; enhypen

word count: 1.5k warnings: n/a gn!reader a/n: like & reblog & follow for more; new blog here lol THANK U FOR READINGG

heeseung

always looking for you in a crowd to make sure you were doing okay, even if the situation doesn't call for worry

at parties, he can't help but scan the room to look for your familiar eyes. were you doing okay? were you having fun?

when performing while you're in the audience, he looks for your approval in the crowds while also ensuring that you were safe. was his singing as good as the singing he shows you at 3am on the living room couch? were you being trampled by his fans?

this type of habit that he developed is something he really can't help: though he trusts you to take care of yourself, he just wants the best for you.

subconsciously putting food on your plate before he takes his own

this can mean sneaking an extra choco pie into his pocket from a en-o-clock episode site or grilling the meat and placing it on your plate for you during kbbq nights. he grabs the first slice of pizza for you, reaches for the best piece of pie for you, and makes sure you have food to eat before he starts taking and shoving his own food into his mouth, even though everyone knows how much he values eating.

he saves the first, last, and best bites for you. if he knows you like a certain side dish, he'll move his onto your plate.

jay

making meals for two rather than one, or eight rather than the seven of his group

he got so used to cooking for you that even when you aren't there, he finds himself making a bigger meal than he used to out of habit.

two servings of ramen- damn, he only meant to make it for himself, but he added two on accident since two is the amount he makes every time.

whenever he's cooking, naturally he adds a few scoops extra of each ingredient without even thinking; caring for you and making sure you have food to eat is something he does subconsciously.

calling you "my" when talking to other people, as in "my baby," "my y/n," "my darling"

you overheard him talking to jungwon while referring to you as "my y/n," and you felt your heart skip a beat. "my y/n baked me a cupcake the other day!" or "my darling studied all night for their exam, i hope they aren't too tired."

the way you both know that he is yours and you are his is something that incorporated itself into his daily life and daily conversations.

jake

seeing you in every little thing, from the clouds in the sky to his eyes naturally spotting your favorite snack

his members are tired of hearing "oh y/n likes this!" "this looks like y/n!" "this reminds me of when y/n..." jake cannot get you out of his head, he is so down bad for you that every little thing reminds him of you.

somehow he will connect the color of a random car to the time when you went to the movies together and the commercial that played had the same shade of gray somewhere in it. romantic?

saying "i love you" literally every waking moment

when you wake up, in your sleepy eyes and messed up hair, he can't help but express the love he holds for you. seeing you shove a cupcake into your mouth: he's never seen anything more perfect in his life. you scored a 50% on your final exam: it's completely fine!

everything from your strengths to your flaws about you is so perfect, mesmerizing, lovable to him, and so he finds himself saying the words "i love you" every hour, every day. every time he feels grateful to have you in his life, he says a quick "love you," which is much more often than you would think.

sunghoon

playing with your fingers whenever you were next to him

like in iland where often he found himself fidgeting with the hand of the person next to him, your hand is always in his once he mustered the courage to grasp it the first time. rings, fingers, nails, anything on your hands becomes his personal fidget toy: all anxieties gone, all pressures relieved, everything perfectly fine. sometimes he will crack your knuckles, pinch your skin, earning a playful slap on his shoulder from you; the different ways he plays with your hands are endless.

asking questions like "did you sleep well?" or "was the food good?"

is this him being awkward and not knowing what to say to fill up silence, or is this him being a caring boyfriend? neither of you know, but you do know that he still genuinely wants to know in order to check up on you and make sure everything is good. his "did you like the chicken" translates to "i love you and i want everything to be just perfect in your life."

sunoo

attentively studying the hair stylists to learn how to do your hair when he gets back home

whenever his stylist tries something new on him, a different idol from another group, or one of his members and he finds himself particularly liking it, he studies it to the best of his ability to best replicate it when he sees you again. the way the straightener moves, the type of products to use: he memorizes it all.

he will see a certain style and think about how good it would look on you, and how he needs to see it on you asap, so learning from a real professional would be the best way to do it.

saving saturday nights for dates and building his schedule around it every week

"wait, saturday night? i can't, i have plans." he did not have plans.. yet. but! every saturday is saved for you, no matter what. therefore, on the way home, he picked up some face masks and candles for a self care night.

he finds himself saving every single saturday night just for you, no matter what may come up. he loves spending time with you, so having this time together means a lot to him.

jungwon

taking selfies everywhere to send mini updates of literally his entire life

you're his personal diary at this point, with the number of selfies and pictures he takes and sends to you. you thought he takes a lot of pictures for his fans? while that is true, he takes double the amount for you.

he makes up for all the time you guys are apart by updating you on things like his meals, practice ending, going to sleep, his member leaving his sock on his bed, etc. does it get too personal sometimes? yes, but you love it.

watching for your safety whether you are known for your clumsiness or not, his hands always ready to grab you

whether this means walking on the outer side of the sidewalk or hovering over you when you walk down the stairs, your safety is his priority.

when you bend down to grab something, he walks behind you so you feel safe, covered, and nobody bumps into you. when your head is dangerously close to the corner of a table, his hand gravitates between your head and the edge to prevent any potential injuries.

he can't bear to see you hurt or in pain, so he'll do his best for that not to happen.

niki

always sleeping with something by his side, and he can't sleep without the feeling of another presence right next to him

his members have been replaced by you at night sleeping next to him. twiddling with your hair as your eyes began to close, snuggling into that crook in your neck: all flows right into his nightly routine. after a while, he got too used to your warmth that whenever you are absent, he can't fall asleep.

this is where weighted stuffed animals, heated blankets, and such came into play; he really could not sleep without you, or at least a subpar replica of you.

dancing, singing, and trying to look his best whenever you're around to impress you and earn words of praise

"y/n look over here!" he'd do a quick but fancy dance move that he learned in the middle of your living room.

"wait, watch this." he'll play a video of him that heeseung took of him shooting a basketball into the hoop from afar.

"did you see our new performance? wasn't i just so cool in it?" he will say anything to hear praise coming from your lips: of course, he hears it all the time from his fans, but hearing it from you has a different meaning, so he makes sure to always look his best and impress you with all that he does.

he wants to look ultra cool and awesome in front of you, but can you blame him? he's just so in love with you.

[syzthefrizz]

Tips for writing dream sequences (from someone who has really vivid, weird dreams on a frequent basis)

My biggest pet peeve with fictional dream sequences is that they make too much sense!! They're too relevant! There's not enough random crazy stuff! That's not always unrealistic per se, but you are missing out on some of the fun ways you can reveal information about your character's mindset, fears, struggles, and future.

Most of my dreams have a goal or objective driving the plot, and it's usually urgent. Ex. "escape the huge storm on the horizon", "find a place to sleep for the night in an unfamiliar town", "find a bathroom". This is especially true of stress dreams.

Everything going on in the dream makes perfect sense to you during the dream. It doesn't feel like reality per se, but you think it is. You're living in a house full of vampires that could eat you at any moment? Seems legit.

Emotions and situations from the dreamer's life can/will find their way into dreams, with varying levels of subtlety. The dream could be about the stressful event itself, or it could be some sort of exaggerated metaphor. Ex. I was worried about whether I was a competent CS major while I was still trying to find a summer job/internship, and I was worried about what my professors must think of me. Such a good student on paper, still without summer plans. I dreamed that I ran into my professors all having lunch together at a restaurant (during a dream with a completely different storyline), and I was wearing my pajamas. They judged me.

Certain things are very hard to do in dreams. This could vary from person to person. For me, it's always driving (the brakes never work right), flying (I can't stay off the ground for very long), and running (it's like trying to run through waist-deep water).

People with PTSD may dream about the traumatic event happening differently than it actually happened. (Take this one with a grain of salt - I don't suffer from PTSD, I just research it sometimes so my blorbos can suffer accurately).

You can have a string of loosely connected or disconnected dream sequences back to back, each with an entirely different plot, setting, etc.

People can have reoccurring themes or plotlines in their dreams, which are often connected to their lives/psyche somehow. I frequently dream about running away from tornadoes and being in situations where there's some catastrophe coming but I'm the only one who understands that there's a problem and nobody will listen to me.

It's common for me to have a dream setting that I KNOW is someplace I'm familiar with, but it doesn't actually look like that place at all. Ex. "I dreamed that we were at my house, but it didn't look like my house..."

Dreams can end in cliffhangers. Sometimes I wake up right before I'm about to eat something delicious.

Sometimes people have dreams about doing things that they would never, ever do in real life, and they wake up feeling disgusted. This is Not a manifestation of their secret desires (*glares at Freud*).

Images are the most memorable parts of dreams. I forget the specific plot points, but I can still picture dozens of liminal spaces my brain has created, even years after I dreamed about it.

Dreams will fade from memory very quickly unless the dream had a strong impression on you, you write details about it down or you tell someone about it before you forget.

If you realize you're dreaming during your dream, sometimes you can control the dream going forward. This is called lucid dreaming. I've done it accidentally a couple times, and it's really hard to "hold on" to the dream and control it. I usually wake up soon after starting. With practice, you can get better at it.

Sometimes a normal/good dream can turn into a nightmare, and vice versa. Most of my dreams aren't really good or bad, they're something in between.

Your subconscious brain is CRAZY intuitive. We can argue over the existence of prophetic dreams (I've heard so many crazy stories), but at the end of the day, your subconscious brain knows things that you don't consciously know. If your character is in love with someone, their subconscious brain will know even if the character doesn't. Relationship problems? Deepest darkest fears and insecurities? Your brain knows. A dream predicted the downfall of my first relationship eight months before it happened, down to the reason why we failed. You can absolutely foreshadow this way. A character might subconsciously know what the consequences of their or other people's actions will be, understand things about the situation they're in, know things about the people they're interacting with, and more, despite their conscious realizations.

There are plenty of ways to make a dream sequence relevant to your story, but don't forget to add in some fun, random details. Character A is secretly in love with Character B? Have Character A dream about Character B confessing feelings to them while in a Vine Nostalgia themed restaurant over a plate of mac-n-cheese. The details are the fun part, and you can get as weird as you want. I once ran into my aunt in a dream, and she was wearing a backpack with a bunch of (fake?) hands sticking out of it, making a fan that rose above her back behind her head like some sort of peacock feather costume piece. I was so freaked out that I woke up. I dare you to get weirder than that.

Not everyone's brain works the same way. I have vivid, random, detailed, memorable dreams on a frequent basis. When I describe them to people they often ask "what were you on?". My roommate only remembers her dreams when they're nightmares. I have some friends who say they don't dream. Other friends have really boring, mundane dreams about their normal lives. Some people have weird dreams but only once in a blue moon. It's a good idea to decide off the bat what kinds of dreams your character has, and how often they remember them.

That's it for now, but I might make a part two if I think of more things to add. Feel free to reblog with your own personal dream expertise!

[snuggerudsz]

NAP TIME AND BABY FEVER l QH43

SUMMARY: Quinn comes home to his wife and children napping, and it leads to a very important talk.

PAIRING: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hi!! I'm on such a Quinn phase always right now. And dad!Quinn actually owns my heart, so I needed to write some more for him. I don't know why the kids are always sleeping when I write these, but I have more dad!Quinn coming out soon, pinky promise. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. Likes and reblogs are always welcomed. Thank you for reading!!! <3333

The house was silent when Quinn got home. It was peaceful and quiet. That’s never a good sign with children, he thought, worried. If there’s one thing having children taught Quinn Hughes it is that silence is never a good sign. Upon entering the house, he felt immediately unsettled, his eyes darting around, searching for the little ones, who usually came running into his arms, celebrating his return as if he hadn’t left only a few hours ago. 

The defenseman left his equipment bag in the foyer, throwing his keys on the table and hastily taking off his shoes, hurrying up the stairs, looking for a sign of life from his wife and children. Worried, Quinn was skipping steps. He goes into your shared room immediately feeling his heart full. Quinn opened the door to the bedroom quietly and saw his wife, sleeping peacefully in the middle with their two children, Oliver and Aurora, snuggled up against her body. He looked over, a soft smile on his face, mentally wondering how was it possible to live such a good life, surrounded by so much love. Sometimes Quinn still couldn't believe this was his life. Not even his wildest dreams would come close to reality.

He hesitated for a moment, watching the peaceful picture before him. Taking a deep breath, he slowly stepped into the room, carefully made his way over to the bed, and knelt down, carefully brushing a strand of hair from your face. Quinn got up, preparing to turn away and let them rest when you stirred awake, sleepy eyes fluttering open. A bit confused, you quickly took in your surroundings, your gaze finding your husband's. You smiled up at him sleepily and beckoned him closer, doing your best to not wake up the children.

Holding out his hand, Quinn helped you get up without disrupting the two kids. You smiled at him gratefully as he guided the both of you out of the bedroom.

You and Quinn tiptoe downstairs to the kitchen, sitting at the table, drinking some tea. Quinn told you about his day, sharing the stories of the rink, the fun of living out his dreams, and also the hardships of being the captain; you talk about your day at home, telling him about the kids and about how far you've already gotten in the writing of your new book. The two of you stay there, laughing and joking as the afternoon sun casts golden light across the room.

Quinn looked at you with a loving gaze. He could feel a wave of emotion rush through him. Having that sweet moment with you, after seeing you and the children huddled up together had filled him with a longing he couldn't quite explain. He had thought about it before, but never seriously. Now, though, he couldn't help but imagine another kid. Another little one, the perfect mix of the both of you. The thought itself made him smile.

“What do you think about having another baby?” Quinn questioned suddenly, breaking the silence.

“Are you thinking about it?” You answer, looking back at your husband, waiting for his answer.

It’d be an utter lie to say you hadn’t thought about it, truth be told. Both of the kids had friends with baby siblings and you could feel the want for another one deep inside you, missing the baby days. Besides, the sight of Quinn with his teammates' babies always made your mind go blank, full of sinful thoughts. 

“I just,” The defenseman starts, unsurely, “I wouldn't be against having another kid if you're up for it.” He said shyly, almost afraid of your response.

You smiled softly, eyes sparkling in the light of the kitchen. Leaning in, you've kissed him sweetly, voice warm and affectionate, slightly flirty. “I'd love to have another baby with you, Mr. Hughes”

Quinn grinned, eyes full of relief and surprise at his wife's answer. “There’s no one else I’d rather be the mother of my children, Mrs. Hughes,” He answers, the same flirty tone you’d used.

He rises from the table, pulling you with him. He held you close, sharing a few more kisses. They stood in the kitchen, the same kitchen where they had shared so many memories together, holding each other and dreaming about the possibilities that lay ahead of them. They both knew that their family was about to get a little bigger, and they couldn't wait. The room was filled with a different kind of joy, one that was shared between two people who loved each other deeply and were excited for the future.

[ventique18]

Malleus book recommendations (⚠️ Warning: Adult novels)

Are you a MalleYuu simp? Are you tired of their endless pining that never goes anywhere? Are you frustrated and just want the Yuu♀️ to bed the Malleus? Well you're in luck because I've sacrificed my sanity to comb through heaps of trash just to feed my brethren's delusions!

If your fave is his temper tantrum: Rurik - The WitchSlayer. This is only one book, but very cute and satisfying. Not very heavy on the plot; more on a fantasy slice of life between a dragon shifter and a sweet part-dragon witch.

If your favorite is the playful in Malleus: Rhysand - A Court of Thorns and Roses Series. Note: Do not stop reading until you get to Book 2, at least. It's the actual start of the series.

If you like both Malleus and Silver and want to merge them into one person: Creon - Fae Isles Series. IMO the best out of all of them.

If you like Evil Malleus: Valroy - Maze of Shadows Series. From the most well-written book out of all of them, but requires the most open mind. This is a dark novel with an evil hero. When I say evil, he is EVIL.

Some rankings below:

Note that all of these are personal preferences.

Ranking the best boys:

1. CREON (Fae Isles). He's THE best hero out of all romance books I've read so far. He's complex. He's devilish. He's thoughtful. He has a unique feature about him that no one else possesses. You'll understand.

2. Rurik (The WitchSlayer). He's annoying, has a bad temper, grumpy most of the time, but he's very cute. He's a literal dragon. He's also smart and actually thinks things through to actively resolve misunderstandings because he understands that feelings can muddle the truth.

3. Rhysand (A Court of Thorns and Roses). He's perfect. That's all. Sometimes a bit too perfect, but he's much better than many fictional male leads.

4. Valroy (Maze of Shadows). This does not mean he stinks. He's literally just extremely evil, which in itself makes him very interesting and better than most cookie cutter heroes.

All of them are great characters. They're the main reasons why you would read these novels.

Ranking the stories:

1. Fae Isles. Its magic system is unique. A lot of it is unique. Just excellent all around and definitely my favorite.

2. Maze of Shadows. DARK romance. Toxic. But very interesting and a refreshing read for those who have the strength to stomach it and remind themselves that this is only fiction.

3. The WitchSlayer. Just a one-shot so you can't expect much, but its pacing is unique in that the conflict resolves fairly early, leaving enough room to tackle what happens after the big bad evil has been defeated. It also has a cute epilogue! Definitely read this if you only have time for one of these. You won't regret the sweet dragon moments, both in his tiny form and his giant form.

4. A Court of Thorns and Roses. I generally just enjoyed it for Rhysand tbh.

Do you know other stories with Malleus clones? Let me know because I need it 👀

[annymation]

Reimagining the characters in Wish

(Part 1- Asha)

Hey guys! I don’t really know how to start this, but let’s just say that I… Didn’t like how Disney’s 100th anniversary movie turned out, like at all.

But I can tell there was a lot of unexplored potential beneath this story, that in my opinion felt overly simple and bare bones.

But if you love it, that’s awesome, more power to you, I wish I could’ve loved it too. And I don’t want to rewrite it to show I’m “better than the writers at Disney” because I’m definitely not lol, I have no experience in writing, and I’m sure they put a lot of passion into the project and I respect them for that. But this movie inspired me with ideas for a different story that I think is worth telling.

But I won’t start telling it today, instead, I'll start a series of blogs sharing my ideas for changes in the characters and their stories, after I get some feedback I will start posting more of the story itself.

If you’re interested, then come along!

Asha✨

Personality

- Asha is a 18 year old girl, with a passion for drawing and helping those around her, sometimes even worrying more about helping others than helping herself

- She’s like a big sister to her 7 friends, always being the voice of reason and acting responsible, but not in a bossy way, she’s actually very playful with them

- To the people of Rosas tho, she's seen as kind of a weirdo, for you see, she spends almost every time of the day drawing in her sketchbook

- She practices everyday to become a better artist, and the people of Rosas find this to be very peculiar, after all, why would you take so much effort to perfect a talent when you can simply wait to turn 18 and wish for the king to make you an amazing artist?

- Asha doesn’t mind these comments, although they have made her less willing to share her drawings with others that aren’t her 7 friends

- As the story progresses we see Asha flourish from a shy and introverted girl to a brave woman who after discovering a terrifying secret about the kingdom’s rulers, steps in and inspires others to join her and fight an evil sorcerer king and his alchemist wife (yes, I made Amaya an alchemist, more on that on part 2 when I talk about how I’d change Magnifico and Amaya)

- Some Disney characters that share similarities with her personality wise are: Belle, Tiana, Pocahontas and Esmeralda

Main Traits:

Calm and mature

Determined

Passionate about her interests (drawing, dancing, philosophy and stars)

Helpful and generous

Perceptive and always questioning things around her that no one pays attention to (like why do all the artists only paint the King and Queen?)

Playful

Compassionate

Backstory

Oooh boy I gave this poor girl so much angst, okay let’s go

Asha grew up with her grandfather, her parents both died in a fire when she was just a baby

(this isn’t just to fit the “haha Disney princess has no parents” cliche, there’s plot relevance in this “mysterious fire” that I’ll talk about later)

Growing up with her grandpa, he’d always support her dream to be an artist, like her mother, who was an art teacher

Her mother not only drew really well, but she also was able to create the illusion that her drawings could move, by flipping through the pages of her sketch books

In other words, her mom was an animator

Asha saw this technic her mom used as a form of magic, so she would often tell her grandpa she wanted to “Do magic just like my mom”

Her father was a philosopher (this was established in the actual movie but never explored haha whyyyy), who taught people that working hard to achieve your dreams is not only rewarding, but also essential, because it’s part of the human nature to persevere and fight for what we believe, even if we fail, even if it’s hard, just keep moving forward.

This philosophy may sound very “umm duh” for me and you since we all know and hear everywhere nothing in life comes for free… But that’s not the case in Rosas

In this rewrite the kingdom wasn’t created by Magnifico, but rather the kingdom has existed for many generations, being ruled by different kings before Magnifico who also granted wishes… but I’m getting ahead of myself.

The point is that the culture of just asking the king to give you or make you whatever you want to be has been in this kingdom’s culture since forever, so when Asha’s dad comes out saying “hey! Maybe we should stop just relying on the king to make our dreams come true, right?” He’s actually being quite a revolutionary… and sharing a very dangerous belief to other people…

At this point you might suspect what caused that “mysterious fire”

So, back to Asha, growing up with her grandpa, they shared a lot of happy memories together. Reading her father's books and her mother's art books helped Asha connect with them even tho she never had them in her life.

But as her grandfather grew older, he became senile.

Asha went from being taken care of by her grandpa to being the one who took care of him when she was still around 13 years old, and when she turned 15 her grandfather passed away of old age

Asha went on to live with her best friend Dahlia, the two became like sisters.

Though she managed to move on from the loss of her grandfather, she could never shake the feeling that he died without getting his wish granted... But she had no way to prove that, it was just a feeling

The wish granting system works different in my rewrite, instead of there being a public wish granting ceremony once a month, there would only be a public wish TAKING ceremony, that would work just like in the movie, you turn 18, you go give your wish to the king yada yada yada.

But the wish granting part would work like this: Almost every night the king would release the wishes up in the sky, they would float down like balloons to their respective owners while they sleep, and once they woke up in the morning they'd feel that their wishes were granted, for they would wake up changed.

With this method, there's no way of confirming if someone really got their wish granted or not, unless you went to ask the king.

Asha never did ask the king if he granted her grandfather's wish, but her grandfather would sometimes express how he wasn't feeling completely fulfilled in his life, he felt like there was something... missing.

This feeling of hollowness persisted in him until the very end, no matter how hard Asha tried to help her grandfather, she never knew him as his real self, because he gave part of his soul to the king, the most beautiful part of his soul, his wish.

Asha had no proof that her grandfather didn't get his wish granted, only a gut feeling.

But because of this, Asha wasn't that thrilled to give her own wish to king magnifico, knowing there was the possibility of it never being granted.

Not to mention she didn’t even know what to wish for, “I’m just 18 and you guys expect me to already know what’s my heart’s deepest desire? I’m still figuring that out, all I know is that I wanna draw”

Plus she wanted to follow her father's philosophy and achieve her wish on her own, eventually, when she figured out what her wish even was.

Asha never rebelled against the system tho, she wasn't a confrontational person. She just accepted the people of Rosas preferred to rely on the king's magic, but that just wasn't for her.

However, on her 18 birthday, when it was expected of her to give her wish to the king, she simply said she didn't have a wish, and even if she did she wouldn’t want to hand it over, she wanted to make it come true on her own. This lead to an argument with the king, and after a series of events (that I don't have time to summarize here, but you can find out about it on my rewrite) leads to her finding out a terrible truth about her kingdom. And that's how her story begins.

Design

- I’d keep these braid ornaments that Asha had in the concept art

- Since in my rewrite she’s not that invested in the kingdom of Rosas, I’d remove all the Kingdom of Rosas symbols that are present in her design (there are a LOT of them)

- I’d replace these Rosas insignia with more star and constellations themed symbols, to reflect how Asha believes that the stars are connected to people and they can guide us, just like how her father believed.

Final Thoughts

My intentions with these changes were to give Asha a strong emotional hook, and something that makes her feel relatable.

The emotional hook here is how she spent so much of her life taking care of her grandfather that she kinda never had time to worry about her own desires, that alone can be relatable to caregivers of elderly people that watch their grandparents or even their own parents lose themselves as time passes, and end up worrying more about the person they’re taking care of than themselves.

Asha has this internal emotional conflict where she feels she needs to constantly help others the same way she helped her grandfather, and one of the things she’ll learn as the story progresses is that it’s not selfish of her to want more for HERSELF.

Another thing that would be relatable about Asha is her passion for drawing, and how most people in Rosas would say she’s wasting her time practicing so much when she can just wait until she turns 18 and wish to be amazing at drawing.

She’d never stop believing that taking her time to improve on her talent and trying again and again was worth every second of her time, because let me tell ya folks, drawing is HARD, and animating like Asha’s mom did is even HARDER, it takes a whole lot of practice, and Asha was determined to keep trying.

She’d be much like Belle, remaining true to herself even tho those around her considered her odd, and very passionate about drawing just as much Belle was passionate about reading.

I also find it funny how Asha’s motivations are fairly down to earth, like in Disney movies you usually have:

I want to be free from these palace walls!

I want to explore the ocean!

I want to open a restaurant!

I want to find true love!

And then there’s Asha here like

“My life is fine, I just wanna chill and draw stuff”

And that’s it, but, in her environment where everyone is expected to have this great wish that they have to give to the king so he’ll make it a reality, she’s kinda the odd one out, and I love that. Would be a great subversion of the Disney formula.

Of course after she learns Magnifico and Amaya’s true intentions she gets a lot more agency and the desire to save her people, her “call for adventure” if you will.

But what are Magnifico and Amaya’s true intentions? Click here for part 2 and find out!

Thank You For Reading!

[musings-ofthe-unamused]

The Distance Between Us

Pairing: Micah Yujin x gn!Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: Ooo it just makes sense to me that my first repost on this account is Micah Yujin

You shut the door quietly tiptoeing inside your room. It felt odd to be doing that inside your own room, but you didn’t want to wake up the snoring mass on your bed. It had been about two hours since you woke up, but he was here, still sleeping like a rock. It was almost cute. You set down the large plushie in your arms and took out your phone. A line of drool spilled out of his open mouth and his arm was thrown over the side of the bed. The sight itself would make a perfect screensaver. So you took a picture, immediately setting it to rest on your screen.

“Micah,” You whispered. “Micah, wake up.”

He let out a groan. “Five more minutes.”

You poked his cheek. “Micah~. C’mon get your lazy ass up.”

“No! I don’t wanna go to school!” He rolled over, batting your hand away.”

“Ok, fine. Have it your way.” You took in a deep breath then shouted as loudly as you could. “HOLY SHIT! MICAH, YOU’RE GONNA MISS THE BUS!!”

“Fuck!!”

Micah got tangled in all the blankets, panicking to get up. He fell off the bed then sat up, looking around. Instead of finding a parent yelling at him, he found you covering your mouth, trying not to laugh. Micah slowly stood and blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

“Still dreaming about school?” You giggled.

“Shut up.” He rubbed his head. “What time is it?”

You walked over to him, fixing his bed head. “Almost 2. You slept in for pretty long.”

“We did stay up until three am,” He yawned, stretching out his muscles Then his eyes widened. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“My flight. It leaves in like two hours.”

“Oh.”

You knew he would be leaving at some point. You just didn’t think it was going to be right after he came to visit. You backed away from him. It was so sudden that he came, You were too caught up in the happiness of not only having your dream first date, but having him that you didn't even think about how long he would be staying.

Micah shrugged. “Well, it’s too late now. Guess I have to leave at the end of the week.”

“But I live close to the airport so-“

“Nope.”

Micah pulled on your arm and dragged you down onto your mattress. You let out a small laugh and he buried his face in your neck. His hold was tight. You held him back just as tightly. It was sort of endearing, the way he wanted to stay here with you. 

“Can you really stay until the end of the week?”

“Wouldn’t you like that, angel?” He whispered in your neck.

“What happens if I say yes?”

“Then I’ll be one happy man.”

“But you can’t stay?”

He leaned back slightly and looked up at you. “If you want me to.”

“I-“ You paused, looking away. “I want to say yes. But what will you do about work? Or the fact that you came here with almost nothing?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” He sat up, laughing slightly. He then spotted the new addition of plushies on your bed. “What's this?”

“Oh!” You picked it up and handed it to him. “For you!”

He took it. “For me?”

“Yeah! You gave me one to keep me company so…I did the same.”

Micah inspected it, squishing it gently. “What animal even is it? A cat? Fox? Dog?”

“Uhh….yes.”

“Perfect.”

***

The airport was busy. It took a while to be able to even find a parking spot. Now you waited for Micah as he bought some snacks and a drink. He came out, struggling to carry the stuff he bought and the plushie. You took the plushie. 

“Thank you, angel.”

“Got everything?”

“Think so..” He looked around then his eyes met yours as he grinned. “Just need you.”

You groaned. “Alright, come on Mr. Suave, let’s go check to see which gate you’re at.”

“You think I’m suave?”

“Only sometimes.”

He laughed. Your heart ached. That fucking laugh was a gift to hear in real life, not through a screen. And that would be gone soon. You two made your way to the large screen showing all flights. You wished that all of yesterday never ended. Watching movies, playing card games, making jokes, and just being in each other's presence felt like it was a lifetime away. 

If life could be like a fairytale, that would be amazing. Living in the bubble of happiness that he gave you would have been amazing. Yet, as much as you hated it, life gave you other plans. When he wasn’t being a menace or making you blush, he looked peaceful. As if he was constantly thinking about something that made him happy.  You watched as Micah pouted, sitting on his suitcase as he crossed his arms and stared up and searched for his flight number. You held his plushie in your arms, squeezing it tightly. 

He squinted. “Can I just stay?”

“Yes”

“Really?”

“No,” You rolled your eyes. “We both have work. And someone decided flying down here without a plan was a good idea.”

“It was,” Micah mumbled, pursing his lips and looking away. “You seemed to enjoy it anyway.”

You walked over to him and poked his shoulder. He looked up at you. Normally (as normal as knowing him for a week is), you would be annoyed by that stupidly cute pout on his face. All you wanted to do was make him smile. Leave off on a good note instead of sad. 

“We can talk once you’re back.”

“But it’s not the same.” 

“Then visit again.”

His face lit up. You help up a finger, your face twisting in a scowl.

“But we need a plan! Like what we’re gonna do about work, how long you’re actually gonna stay…you know. Responsible stuff.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you calling me irresponsible?”

“Maybe.”

“You could’ve kicked me out. Accepting a stranger into your home through your window isn’t very responsible either.”

You placed a hand on your heart. “You’re right! I promise I’ll do better, Micah Yujin.”

He pat your head. “That’s better.”

You two giggled and he stood, gulping down the rest of his energy drink. You scrunched your nose. You had no idea how he constantly threw those back, much less before a flight. If it were you, you would just pop some dramamine and hope you stayed passed out the whole flight. The two of you started to walk in silence towards the security check. His shoulders bumped into you and you squeezed the plushie as hard as you could, biting your lip.

“Well,” He turned towards you. “This is were we part.”

“It is.”

“I feel like we’re in a romance movie,” He chuckled. “But seriously, I’m glad I came down here.”

You held out the plushie towards him. “Me too. I’ll talk to you later, Yujin. Don’t miss me too much.”

“Thank you, angel. At least someone wants to go home with me,” He put on a falsetto voice and poked at the plushie. “Isn’t that right, Skrunkly Jr.?”

“Is that the name you’re going with?”

He shrugged. “Seemed fitting.”

You laughed. “Alright. Get going or you’re gonna be late.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” You waved and then started to walk away. It hurt more than you thought it would. 

“Wait! I forgot something!”

You turned around on your foot, an exasperated sigh leaving your lips. “Really, Micah? I told you to make sure you have everything before we-”

“Shut up, I’m gonna kiss you now!”

Micah’s arm wrapped around your waist and he dipped you down. Your breath caught in your throat as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to keep from falling. His lips were chapped and tasted like the Cherry Blade Lemonade Bang he bought earlier. It was mostly sweet with a slight sourness to it. A jolt of electricity went down your spine as you felt your face flush. Micah pulled away, not meeting your eyes.

“Uh.”

“Bye.”

He turned and hightailed the fuck out. You watched with wide eyes as Skrunkly Jr. fell off the top of his suitcase. He picked it up and hugged it close to him. A trail of muttered “shit, shit, shit” was all that was left. You placed two of your fingers to your lips and then covered your face with your hands. Did he just dip and kiss you in public? You turned around, trying not to smile too widely as you left the airport. When you made it back in your car, you took out your phone. 

Micah💩: fhdsjalfhdjsla

Micah💩: vcxbzjvksbj oh my god

Micah💩: I cant believe i did that

You: neither can i

Micah💩: forgive me

You: 🤨are you saying you didnt like kissing me

Micah💩: i liked it very much

You: then there’s nothing to apologize for

Micah💩: did you like it?

You: i did. 

You: i also liked the taste of that bang

You: i’ll be energized for hours ;)

Micah💩: gfhjslghfjlsdghjfld

Micah💩: I need to board

Micah💩: i’ll miss you

Micah💩: and i’ll be recovering from this the whole time

Micah💩: talk to you later

You: Be safe. Let me know when you land.

You set your phone down. After a deep breath, you screamed and hit your hands against the steering wheel. What was that man thinking? Yes, you enjoyed it. Yes, it was a great first kiss and not awkward at all. But god fucking damn it, it made you want more. It made you miss him. A part of you wanted to stop the plane, drag him off it, and take him home. Your heart was happy but it sank a little at the thought of the growing distance between the two of you. 

“God,” You grumbled to yourself. “I’m gonna miss that idiot so much.”

[mymarifae]

every time someone says "an should have been vbs's leader" or "saki should have been leo/need's leader" i want to . slam my head through concrete. oh you missed the point so bad

1. the "leader" thing is kind of really fucking insignificant outside of where each group's story begins and promo materials. it doesn't mean one character is the "main character" of the group. project sekai doesn't HAVE a main character in the first place it's not that kind of story. each individual character is equally important to not only their group's story but the over-arching story of the whole game

2. leo/need's story begins with ichika because she is ultimately the one that brings them all back together. not saki. it is ichika's determination and frankly stubbornness that gets through to shiho and honami. like, saki was literally ready to give up on reconnecting with honami! (out of love and respect for her choices but like) if she was the focus leo/need would have been honami-less!! but ichika refuses to let it go. much like she refused to let go of their friendships throughout all of middle school.

when the story begins, we see ichika burnt out and hopeless. but that's only after years of trying and trying and trying and trying again to reconnect with shiho and later honami. this fandom does not understand ichika's character well . she's not meek and she doesn't back down easily she's not some like... fumbling "girlflop" she's incredibly driven and strong-willed. she lost some of that due to depression and isolation but as of leo/need's most recent arc ender she has pretty much regained her fiery spirit. she's leo/need's lead singer and MC for a reason

3. vivid bad squad's story opens with kohane because she's the only one who hasn't grown up/partially grown up on vivid street. if an or akito had been the "leader" we would have lost the magic of getting to know vivid street and its people and unique culture. it's all average every day life for them, but kohane is experiencing it all for the first time. it's only through her eyes that the audience can understand just how very special vivid street is

4. one more thing: you could say that the "leaders" represent the themes of each group and the general direction of their story arcs. vivid bad squad, among several other things, is all about improvement and growth and overcoming challenges and creating something new and finding a place to call home within a community. who better to represent that but the socially anxious newbie who never felt like she belongs anywhere and would never do anything with her life?

leo/need is about love and the ability to endure all hardships and preserve that love . it's about having a heart big enough to hope for the impossible and the willpower to make it reality. ichika, in all her hard-headed stubborn painfully persistent glory, is perfect for that.

similarly, mafuyu isn't nightcord's leader because nightcord is ultimately about healing. hope. finding a way to make life worth living again. these aren't paths he would have chosen on his own. he gave up on himself a long time ago. as did ena and mizuki, in their own ways. the best person to represent hope is the one who refuses to give up on anyone and stubbornly believes she can save them all

wonderlands x showtime is about moving forward to a brighter future and not letting the past keep you shackled in place. it's also about having lofty dreams and the selfishness to pursue those dreams. both of these things are why emu Isn't wxs's leader; she lacks that selfishness (i'm not using this word in a negative sense btw; i think being selfish can be a good thing. and sometimes being selfless is a bad one) tsukasa (and rui) has, and she often clings to the past.

and as far as more more jump and all their own themes of hope and never giving up go, of course their leader has to be minori. she brought three disillusioned, jaded ex-idols hope and reignited their passion! she's the walking embodiment of hope itself

[bridgetotheskyyy]

Research - Jiraiya

Kinktober Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, titfucking, cum eating, fluff, has the nerve to be romantic lmaooo

A/n: Day 2! Jiraiya is the perfect mixture of raunchy perv and gentlemen and if I get to use my bring back one character card it's gonna be on him 😭❤❤❤

Read on Ao3.

The door slid open, but not with ease. 

"Jiraiya?" You pushed past the scraps of paper, potato chip bags, and discarded notebooks interfering with the door’s lower half.

You let yourself into the small apartment and surveyed the damage.

“In here.”

You strode to the living room and there he was: Jiraiya sulked in his chair, lording over an apocalyptic desk. You had never seen so many sheets of paper in your life.

“Is ―” You broke off as a groan lodged itself in Jiraiya’s throat. “Is everything all right?”

“Fine,” he grumbled.

Clearly something was up, and you didn't know what gave it away ― maybe it was the putrid smell of defeat or the dozens of crumbled rejection letters your feet swam in.

Again, Jiraiya groaned. He leaned into a chair creaking under his weight. His enormous arm lay slung over his eyes to block the nonexistent daylight, his tailed hair roping around the floor. 

He hummed tiredly. "You didn't come to collect rent, did you?"

“Jiraiya,” You began with a tone to emphasize what came next should be obvious, “I don’t ask for you for rent, remember?”

It had only been a few weeks since you had let Jiraiya stay in one of your units rent free to finish his latest pulp novel ― how has he forgotten? 

“Ah,” he said. “That’s right. Remind me once this infernal book is finally done to include my appreciation for your hospitality in the acknowledgements.” His other hand shot out as if to give a toast. “To the kindness of strangers!”

A hinge of hurt sent you frowning. “So, I’m a stranger?”

Silence. Jiraiya peeked to admire you. 

“No, you’re not.” He shrouded his eyes again. “Sorry. Shouldn't have said that.”

You approached him, circled his defeated form like a concerned mother hen. “Are you ill? Do you need something?”

He finally removed his forearm. “Have you had much luck with love, (Y/n)?”

You perked. “Hm? I ― What do you mean?”

He quirked his head at you. “C’mon. You know what I mean.” 

“Well … I mean …” Your face grew warm. You nodded. “Yeah. I mean …” This part was under your breath. “... depends on what you mean by luck …”

“I knew it.” Jiraiya sighed and collapsed against the back of his chair. “You weren’t fooling anyone with that pretty face.”

You grew warmer under the spotlight of the compliment. “I …” He thinks I’m pretty?

“You’ll never know how good you have it,” Jiraiya said. Without ceremony, he abandoned the chair to pace around the room. “Do you know how hard it is to write about the raunchy threads of everlasting love when you’ve had no real practice?”

You blinked. Not the first time the man’s diction has thrown you for a loop and thoroughly bewildered you. 

“Raunchy ― raunchy threads ―?”

“Sometimes, I wonder if I’m really cut out for this.” Jiraiya shook his head. “Even success doesn’t guarantee satisfaction with one’s work. Who knew!”

“Jiraiya,” You implored. “You have a series of bestselling novels under your belt.” You playfully pushed at his shoulder ― what bit of it you could reach anyway. “Everyone struggles. You shouldn’t give up so fast!”

Silence, save for the crickets demanding attention tucked away in outdoor bushes.

Jiraiya laughed, a heaty, deep laugh from his belly. 

“Now you sound like one of my students!” 

You shrugged. “I’d offer to help, but you never let me, remember?”

Jiraiya stopped, as though an idea had held its arm out to stop his pacing. 

“You have …” He turned to you. His eyes flickered downward to study you. “Say … Would you … be up for helping me now?”

You threw him a suspicious look. “Depends on how I’ll be helping.” 

Jiraiya’s expression shifted ― nervousness etched onto his face. “Ahem … well …”

He began pacing again. Your brows creased as you followed his movements. What was he up to?

“It’s just,” he began. “When you’re writing, there are just so many unknowns. Things I can’t possibly know, being such a loser with women.” He socked the side of his head with a fist, seemingly convinced in his dried-up state the abuse could lead to some heart-stopping revelation. “Things I can’t even begin to imagine ― you know, ahem, despite the job description.”

“You’re stalling,” You teased. “It’s never good when you stall.”

Jiraiya faced you. You leveled with his chest, the sheer enormity of the man baffling in comparison to you. 

You probably would’ve been scared. 

If it hadn't been him.

Jiraiya reached out. His palm touched the wall, leaving you semi-caged in as he leaned toward you. 

“I’m going to do something,” he muttered. “Something I’ve always wanted to do. Promise not to hit me?”

“Why would I hit you?” You hoped he could not hear the tremble in your voice.

Jiraiya shrugged. “Minimal success with the fairer sex has taught me to proceed with caution.”

Your stomach knotted into itself. The shadow of his intentions fluttered vaguely over the penumbra of your mind. 

“Okay,” You whispered.

Jiraiya inched closer ― every inch a century ― and bridged the gap between you and him, his lips brushing yours before securing them in a soft kiss.

Soft. Gentle, both his lips and the technique he used. 

It was a good thing, too; for if he had used any more force, you surely would’ve died on the spot. 

His unoccupied hand came to cup the back of your head, cajoling you closer. Your lips moved on his while hands cupped the sides of his face. His rough-textured skin laid under your timid touch. Jiraiya hummed in appreciation. His tongue flicked out to ask tentative permission into your mouth.

But once you offered it, he pulled away. He held your gaze for a few seconds before retreating. He stopped midway to press a reverent kiss to your exposed shoulder pad. 

When he parted from you, you trailed his every move back to his disastrous desk. 

“Sorry,” Jiraiya murmured. He laid a hand on the back of his chair for support. “If I went on, I wouldn’t have stopped.” 

You said nothing, only sucked your lips in to taste the phantom of Jiraiya’s kiss.

“Hopefully, I’ve made my true feelings known,” he said. He leaned over his desk for a second before swiping something from it, one sheet of paper amidst many. 

“You …” You trailed. “You … Me?”

He approached you with a chuckle nestled in a smile. “Yes.”

He leaned over the wall, cool-guy style, and the position strangely suited him. You were still recovering as his eyes roved over the sheet of paper limp in his hold.

“I’m sure you also know now all my female love interests are secretly you,” Jiraiya went on. “I’m just so good at remaining subtle, I bet you didn’t notice.”

You had, in your wildest dreams, thought a character or two possessed your likeness, but you had never been so full of yourself to have actually imagined ― 

He offered the paper to you. “This is the scene I’m stuck on. Would you mind reading it over for me?” 

You blinked. It felt like a thousand things were happening when, really, one thing had happened at a time. But so many things. 

“Su ― Sure.” You took the paper. 

You read it, Jiraiya suspiciously close to you, peering over to watch you review his work. His scent dizzied you ― pinewood and paper and pencil shavings, hardly a dazzling combination, but it was him. So it was.

You read. You understood. You blushed.

Jiraiya’s lip-corner quirked, seemingly suspecting you were at the end of the scene. 

“I wanted to make my true feelings known before I suggested this ―” Jiraiya tapped the paper with a finger. “I didn’t want you thinking for a second I was trying to use you for anything.”

You laughed, prompted by the absurdity of it all. He wanted you to ―

You smirked.

“So,” he began, a flirtatious lilt to his voice, “will you do it?” 

You turned to him, tipping your head up to stare at the bigger man. 

“I’d be happy to.”

“Hold still ― hah ― that’s good, argh, that’s gooood ―”

Jiraiya sat above you, face strained. His mouth hung open, the heated huffs of his breath warming your skin, prompting your sensitive nubs to perk. 

You laughed; it was fun to watch him come apart like this, better than any vague fantasy.

“How does this even come up in the story, Jiraiya?”

Jiraiya chuckled amidst the pleasure. “Hehe, ahem, well …”

You squeezed your tits against his cock, presumably to shut him up. Jiraiya stilled, breath sharp.

His shaft sat nestled, secure in the valley of your breasts. You sat your chin on your collarbone to glance at the red, flared cockhead twitching up at you.

You licked your lips. “Is this what you’ve been seeing in your mind’s eye?” You gathered your breasts and began to jerk him, cupping him between your tits. “Picturing me like this, underneath you?”

Jiraiya leaned forward, his tail of hair falling inches from your face.

You cupped your breasts around him, working them against the sensitive skin of his excited cock. 

“I can’t imagine why you got stuck,” You purred, eyes narrowed on the gorgeous man above you.

“Ah, aahah …” Jiraiya’s mouth hung open as his hips worked in tandem with you. “Too enthralled with the real thing ― aargh!”

“I love seeing you like this,” You breathed out.

“I’m sure you do ― aah, gods, they’re perfect!” Jiraiya retrieved his cock to slap it against one tit before securing it in the slit you'd made for him. He jerked his hips; they stuttered as you closed any further gap between his cock and your pillowy breasts. “You’re perfect.”

He opened his eyes ― wrong move; just in time to see your tongue flick out and swipe at his cockhead.

“Urgh!” Jiraiya planted a hand beside your head to secure his balance. “Who knew you’d be such a natural at this?” 

“I did say I had experience, didn’t I?” You swiped and sucked at his cockhead with a hungry mouth. “Did you ― mmf ― forget?”

“Head’s kinda cloudy right now, admittedly ― aah!”

His cock dangled at your mercy, following the swift up-down motion of your breasts. 

You continued egging him on amongst his moaning. It was heavenly, watching the Great Toad Sage come apart just by the use of your tits. You licked and took his cockhead into your mouth, popping it out before speeding up your motions. 

“C’mon,” You urged at the hastening of his breath. “C’mon, Jiraiya, mmm …!”

“Please stop talking,” Jiraiya said. “Nurgh ― so good.” He cracked an eye open to smile weakly at you. “I’ve gotta last, y’know?”

You stared crookedly. “Why?”

“Research purposes ― ah, oh, gods ― we’ve been over this.”

You paused, your breasts falling flat at your sides.

“You know we could always just do this again right?” 

Jiraiya popped both eyes open, collecting himself just enough to speak clearly.

“You’d let me?” he said. “You’d really let me?”

Your eyes flickered over his face lovingly. “Yes.”

“Huh … I guess you’re right.” He smirked, stars in his eyes. “Totally right.”

You rolled your eyes. “S’what I just sai ―”

Jiraiya kneaded at your breasts, thumbs grazing over the precious nubs. You shuddered as he gripped them, adjusting his hips ― and gave a thrust.

He grunted as he took the reigns, thoroughly fucking your tits at his own preferred pace. You gasped as he pinched a nipple in his grasp, twirling it between huge, calloused fingers.

“Aha ―” His cockhead brushed repeatedly over your lips. “Jiraiya ― ah, hah ―!”

“So good,” Jiraiya hung his head back, exposing the raw muscles of his pectorals, the beautiful outline of his collarbone to you. “Such a sweet girl, letting me use you like this …” 

Your cunt throbbed from the heated praise. Again, you licked out for him, your tongue swiping at his cockhead, swishing into the slick slit with each jut of Jiraiya’s hips. 

Jiraiya gritted his teeth. His cock twitched in your hold. Against his own desires, his pace quickened. His abdomen barreled into your chest, skin to heated skin.

He groaned, lurched forward, more animal than man. “I’m gonna ―”

“It’s okay, do it ― cum for me ―”

Jiraiya threw his head back. He released with a growl, his seed patterning your clavicle, your chin, your lower lip. 

He panted as the thrums subsided. He recovered, staring down at you. A string of his cum dribbled down the side of your face. 

Sense returned to him; he frowned. Without fanfare, Jiraiya un-straddled you, as though it was the most gentleman-like behavior he could muster in that moment. 

“I’m sorry.” He let you up. “Let me get you a ―”

You laughed. You collected what was left of him and licked it off your finger.

He went bug-eyed. “You ― you want to ―?”

“Of course,” You said. You patted his inner wrist, having been left limp on the floor in surprise. “It’s okay ― it’s okay,” You insisted as Jiraiya moved to stop you.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” 

You swept up his spent, swallowed, and he watched you with an amazement you couldn’t name. 

“You weren’t lying, were you?” You muttered, turning on your side to face him on the floor. “You really don’t know how these things work? You haven’t …”

Jiraiya recovered enough to perform a halfhearted shrug.

You gasped, tilted your head. “You’re not ―”

“No,” Jiraiya said before you got carried away. “I’m not a virgin, just … Never been super lucky.”

Jiraiya’s fingers brushed against the soft skin of your inner wrist, calloused fingers trailing the faint train of your veins. “Until now.”

[yanderecrazysie]

Hello there, I just read that you do ouran high school host club yandere request. I just love that anime it reminds me of my childhood. And I love your work too especially the angsty cheater ones, they’re my favorites.

So actually going to the request: Yandere Tamaki x fiancé reader but Tamaki is neglectful of them and cheats on them with Haru (angst heaven). Basically Tamaki and Reader where engaged when they were children by their wealthy parents . Tamaki hated this and by extension he hated the reader too. Despite the reader trying to be to be the perfect fiancé and supports him from the sidelines, the reader even make sure that the mansion runs smoothly and even learned how to cook his favorite food and cater to his whims. Tamaki still being blinded by his distaste for the arrange marriage carelessly ignores all of reader’s hardwork and flirts with every woman in the host club. Then comes Haru and Tamaki just falls in love and in the back of his head, what better way to get back at his father than to marry a commoner. Reader finally having enough of Tamaki’s cheating and intentionally humiliating them in public, rebels against their parents and cancel the engagement. The reader just leaves Tamaki behind and goes into the countryside to live a peaceful life.. but surprised Tamaki goes full on delusional Yandere, he misses the reader’s devotion to him and wants to continue on with the marriage. When reader left Tamaki felt empty and he started to realize his mistake, He tracks reader down to beg for their forgiveness and so that they can get married as intended. Tamaki still think of you as his fiancé and he doesn’t realize that reader doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

Sorry for the long request, I just got excited when I found out that you write for Ouran High school host club. Thanks for reading!

My first OHSHC request!! Yay!! And it's okay, it’s always nice to have a good plot to work with!

Title: Blind

Pairings: Tamaki Suoh x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes

Summary: Tamaki’s behavior proves too much for his fiance.

Part 2: here

blind

/verb/

deprive (someone) of understanding, judgment, or perception:

Sometimes, you wished Tamaki would just open up his eyes and see you. You, and not the engagement your families had forced upon you both.

You could tell from day one that Tamaki hated the idea and, subsequently, hated you for representing the ball and chain that attached itself to his ankle. You couldn’t blame him for being angry that his future freedom had been taken away, but you wished he wouldn’t blame you for it.

You weren’t much happier than him at first, but you decided to make the best of it. Tamaki was handsome, you could even appreciate that when you both were children forced to play together. He also had a soft side that you rarely got to see under all the silly dramatics. If only you could unlock that part of him, surely you both could be happy!

Then the host club started.

It’s easy to smile and say that you aren’t bothered, but it’s another thing to actually not be bothered with your fiance flirting with girls all the time. You could never help the twisting of jealousy in your gut anytime you heard or saw anything to do with the host club.

You’d tried to visit before. Make the best of things. But he’d blacklisted you as a customer, said with a careless tone that maybe you’d prefer one of the other boys. That stung.

“Make the best of it” became a mantra in your head, a desperate goal and coping method all in one. Eventually, Tamaki would either come to love you or accept that his future was predetermined by a piece of paper with his father’s signature. 

Did you want a potentially loveless marriage? No, of course not. But that’s what happened to most people of your stature, so it wasn’t a surprise. If you could just make the best of your situation, you could be happy. Probably.

The changes in Tamaki really started when a new boy joined the club. You could tell right away that he was naturally a girl, but wouldn’t out him to the school if that’s what he chose as his path. You began to suspect that Tamaki knew this truth as well, because he always seemed so flustered around the boy.

Haruhi. You numbly repeated his name in your head. Even in the beginning, you knew, this relationship would be the downfall of your own.

Numbness overtook you as you caught the pair kissing and holding hands, looking happy and carefree, even outside of the club where there were no requirements for them to act like a cute couple or something.

They were trying to be secretive and, at first, you wondered how you were the only one catching them in the act. Then, it hit you like a speeding train.

Tamaki wanted you to see.

Your daily trips to the mansion were mostly in lonely silence. You cleaned the place like his maids probably should, made him his favorite meals, ran hot baths for him, and sometimes left him notes around the house to boost his self-esteem and cheer him up.

As time went on, it began to feel like empty actions. Duties without reward or even so much as acknowledgment. Things you did just because that tiny voice still cried “Make the best of everything!”

Well, you were getting sick of that voice. That hapless fool inside your head that didn’t seem to realize that things were speeding out of control. How could you make the best of anything, when he continually gave you nothing to work with.

You cried as you did those little things- what had once felt like happy little jobs became heavy chores that you couldn’t figure out why you continued. The tears blurred your eyes as you made each gift for Tamaki- gifts that would no doubt be cast aside and forgotten.

What was the point?

When Tamaki called a crowd together in the school’s entrance hall, standing atop one of the highest steps with his hands intertwined with Haruhi, you knew it was all over.

“Haruhi is actually a girl- and she and I have started dating!” His eyes seemed to dart to yours to gauge your reaction, but you didn’t dare show anything on your face. You were still a regal person, determined to not put your family’s name to shame.

“What? Is that true, Haruhi?” One of the girls in the crowd shrieked.

You didn’t need Haruhi’s answer nor the shy smile on her face to confirm the truth. You’d already known well before that this was the future you’d been helplessly barreling towards.

The crowd had mixed reactions. Some people were supportive and found the couple cute, others were jealous of Haruhi, and many people were confused on the whole matter. Those were the ones whose words shot like daggers into your heart.

“Doesn’t Tamaki have a fiance?”

“What will his father think?”

“Does that mean his engagement is canceled?”

Struggling not to break down, you pushed your way through the crowd, looking for an escape. The crowd was too thick and it was quickly too late.

You broke down crying, your large tears blinding you as little hiccups left your lips. Finally, the sea of people parted and you ran through it. You risked one look at Tamaki and were upset to see him looking concerned. How dare he be concerned when he was the one that hurt you?

You skipped your classes, opting instead to head straight home and confront your parents. The moment you were in front of them both, you broke down once more. They wanted to know who’d hurt you right away and, when your story of Tamaki was revealed, they vowed to rip the contract into little pieces.

They let you stay home the next few days. If you could, you’d stay home forever. How could you show your face after you’d been humiliated and cried like that in front of everyone?

You focused your thoughts and feelings into gardening. Today you cut the stems of flowers and placing them into your basket before bringing them up to the house. The chores you did were fit for the family’s gardener, but he was on vacation and you needed something to distract yourself with.

You heard your name called. Furrowing your brow, you raised your head and shielded your eyes against the sun. Was that…?

It was, a certain blonde boy was speeding towards you at the speed of light. Had he jumped the tall fence or broken the gate’s lock? Either method was concerning, to say the least.

You let out a feeble “hey!” when he kicked up some of the flowers in his path to you, but you were more afraid of what he had to say than of losing a couple of flowers.

Finally, he stopped in front of you and dropped to his knees. You stood, watching in shock as he kneeled in the dirt, in a motion that you’d expect a man begging the queen to spare his life.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/n). I- I was so stupid, so blind! I didn’t know how much I’d miss you when you were gone. Please come back, please! I’ll do anything!”

You stared at him in shock, “What about Haruhi?”

The man raised his head, his eyes glazed over as they met yours, “I took care of her.”

It wasn’t so much the words he said, as it was the chilling, lifeless tone in which he said it. You took a step back, nearly tripping over the small mound of dirt behind you.

“What did you do to her?” Your voice came out shaky and unsure. Tamaki would never hurt someone, would he? That thought was laughable, wasn’t it?

Tamaki grasped your ankles and began to cry, looking more pathetic than you could have ever imagined him. You never thought that Tamaki would ever beg on his knees to anyone, much less you.

“I’ll do anything.” Tamaki murmured. Somehow you knew.

He would definitely hurt someone, if they got in his way.

[mochis-cream]

11:34 — song mingi ♡

・ sometimes you wonder what life decisions you’ve made that wound you up by this clowns side, but then again, you wouldn’t trade him for the world

s.mg x gn!reader ・ ateez ・ 에이티즈 ・ sfw ・ non!idol au ・ wc: exactly 600 ・ genre -> fluff, slice of life, slapstick ・ one shot! -> masterlist!

content warning: established relationship, collective sillies, mingi minging, princess mingi realness, cursing, lowercase intended, not proofread

author’s note: guys idk what happened!! one minute i was asleep and then the next i was awake at 3 in the morning writing this 😰😰 anyways mingi mingi mingi i love mingi mmrph (*´∇｀*)

‘CAUTION! DO NOT TOUCH!!’

you were certain that was the warning you gave. you were positive, actually, because you're looking at those words right now, written in your handwriting on a sticky note attached to a prank canister. the same prank canister that currently lies in the doorway, open at your feet, several feet away from the only other person in the room who could've opened it. the same person who currently lies on the floor, covered in confetti and fallen cereal, staring up at you like a deer caught in headlights.

"uh- princess? okay, what the fuck. what happened?" you ask, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably. the sight is both tragic and fucking hilarious: mingi, wide-eyed and looking like he’s just survived a cartoonish explosion, is splayed out in a sea of brightly colored paper and cheerios.

mingi looks up at you, still processing the events that led to his current predicament. “i... uh... think i touched something i shouldn’t have,” he says, his voice a mix of embarrassment and lingering shock.

you take a moment to survey the room. the open prank canister lies a few feet away, likely flung from mingi's hands during his moment of panic. “and by that you mean the thing that said ‘caution! do not touch!’ in big, bold letters? the thing with the warning written in my handwriting?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

he nods sheepishly. “uh yeah, that seems to be the case.”

you can't help it. the laughter bubbles up from deep inside you, and soon you're doubled over, clutching your stomach as you laugh uncontrollably. mingi watches you with a mix of amusement and annoyance, still covered in confetti and cereal, looking like the world's saddest party favor. a tried and true damsel in distress.

finally, you catch your breath and kneel down beside him. “my, princess, you really outdid yourself this time,” you say, wiping a tear from your eye. you start picking confetti out of his hair, still chuckling.

mingi huffs, sitting up and trying to shake off some of the cereal clinging to his clothes. “it’s not funny,” he mutters, but as much as he might complain, the corners of his mouth twitching upward speaks for itself.

“ah, yeah, you’re right. it’s absolutely hilarious,” you counter, pulling him to his feet. “why on earth would you touch something that i explicitly wrote ‘do not touch’ on?”

mingi shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips. “i dunno.”

you shake your head, still grinning. “there’s never a dull moment with you, is there?”

as you both start cleaning up the mess, you can't help but think about how your life with mingi has always been this way, full of surprises left and right. sure, not every surprise is a good one, but such is life. both of you have your own things to work out, and thing are never always perfect, but you wouldn’t trade this relationship for the world. besides, who else would provide such endless entertainment?

it’s funny really, how two completely different people can come to live and share their lives, and in the end create something beautiful despite the messes they make along the way.

as you scoop up handfuls of cereal and confetti, you glance over at mingi, who's trying (and failing) to stuff the prank canister back together, and it finally clicks. a thought that’ll stay with you until the day you die, ‘yeah, this is the goof i’m staying with for the rest of my life.’

truely, you couldn’t possibly be any happier. lucky you, huh?