#but that cousin is from my dads side and we never attending that lmao

[takhayyul]

i hate being the only cousin living in canada, its my cousins wedding in the coming weeks and they be having so much fun rn while i gotta go to my 9 to 5 tmrw

[drabbles-mc]

Family Reunion

Steve Murphy & Rick Flag (Narcos x Suicide Squad Crossover)

For @narcosfandomdiscord's Day of Cross-Fandom Pollination: create a fanwork featuring at least one character from Narcos, and at least one character from another fandom

Warnings: 18+, language

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Is this an absurd crossover? Most certainly! But that hasn't ever stopped me before! 😂 The Kinnamoment continues even during Narcoctober lmao. Also shout-out to @ashlingiswriting because one time five million years ago she said that Joel Kinnaman could play Steve Murphy's cousin and the thought hasn't left my brain since. Bless.

Niche Crossover Taglist: @garbinge @proceduralpassion @artemiseamoon @narcolini @hausofmamadas (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Connie was looking out the passenger window as Steve drove. Music was playing through the radio, just loud enough to break up the silence but not so loud that she had to try and speak up when she asked, “So who’s going to be there again?”

Steve chuckled, shaking his head as he reached over and rested his hand on her leg. “Might be easier to list off who isn’t.”

Connie laughed and rolled her eyes at him. When Steve had originally mentioned the family reunion, he had told her that it was always a bit of a ridiculous affair. Part of the ridiculousness was because that was just how his family was, but also because the term “family” had grown and morphed so much that everyone from friends to neighbors came through to it on any given year. Connie had liked the sound of that. Her family never really did anything like that in all the years that she could remember. So, while Steve had his mumbles and grumbles about it, she was more excited than anything else.

“Okay,” she readjusted her question, “then who is going to be there that I actually know? That I’ve already met?” She saw Steve getting ready to start listing off people and before he could start she added on, “And I mean really met—not just the people I saw for ten seconds at our wedding and then never again.”

He looked over at her for a moment with a smile. “Alright. Gimme a second to think.” Even with his eyes back on the road he could feel Connie looking at him now. He started listing off people she’d know starting with the obvious choices: his parents and his siblings. Then he started to branch out a little farther into the family tree—aunts and uncles that she’d met at various holidays and other family weddings that they’d attended, along with a smattering of cousins that she may or may not remember. “And Rick will be there,” he tossed at the end with a shake of his head, almost like he was saying it out of obligation more than anything else.

“Rick?” Connie repeated, trying to put a face to the name.

“Yeah,” Steve said as he fought the urge to sigh. “He’s a couple years older than me—Dad’s side of the family.”

“Why can’t I—”

“Army brat,” he offered some clarification.

It worked, Connie’s face brightening in recognition once it clicked. “Oh! Rick! He was at our wedding, right?”

Steve nodded. “Yep.”

She laughed at the petulant look on his face. “What’s your problem with him again?”

“It’s not a problem, Connie. I just think he’s fuckin’ annoying.”

She laughed, head leaning back against the rest behind it. “Sounds like a bit of a problem.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said, trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Connie. “We probably won’t even have to talk to him.”

She was trying to contain her laughter and partially succeeding. “Lucky for us.”

Steve looked over at her for a second. “What?”

She smiled. “Nothing. I’m sure it’s all gonna be fine regardless.”

When they got there, Connie’s eyes widened in shock. When Steve said that his family typically just took over and informally blocked off a section of a park for everyone to hang out in, Connie couldn’t really picture what that looked like. It was exactly what Steve had said, though. There were all sorts of picnic tables, some that were probably already there, and others that people definitely brought with them. There were multiple small grills set up, more snack and drinks than Connie thought people could bring and stack in one place.

Steve took her hand in his as they walked towards the throes of it all. Connie looked back and forth between him and the small crowd that had amassed. She had to laugh as she said, “No wonder your parents thought our wedding was small.”

“Yeah, all makes sense now, huh?”

They wandered and mingled their way through all of the people. Steve made a point to find some people before others—his mom never would’ve let him hear the end of it if she just happened to stumble upon him some time after he’d arrived because he didn’t come and say hello. Connie got the chance to meet some people that she’d heard Steve and his siblings and parents talk about before, happy to finally put some faces to the names and tall tales.

Resting her hand against the outside of Steve’s arm to get his attention, Connie said, “I’m gonna grab a drink—want anything?”

He shook his head. “I’m good.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back.”

He smiled, chuckling as he said, “Don’t get lost in the crowd.”

Connie laughed, knowing that it was very much a possibility that that could happen. She’d end up finding Steve again eventually. A few people stopped her along the way for quick hello’s and small talk, and it was only then that Connie really wrapped her head around how much Steve’s parents kept in touch with the rest of his family compared to him. It was a little amusing, if she was being honest—he didn’t have to keep everyone updated on what he was doing since his parents did such a good job of that for him.

Flipping open the top of the cooler, she reached in to grab a can of soda. She let some of the partially melted ice drip off of it. Then, just when she was going to shut the lid again, someone spoke up behind her.

“Mind grabbin’ me one of those, too?”

She was already agreeing before she even looked over her shoulder to see who it was that was talking to her. Turning around, one can of soda in each hand, she found herself tilting her head up just slightly to look the person in the eyes.

He smiled when he realized just who it was. “Connie?”

“Rick!” She laughed, handing him his soda before stepping in to give him a brief hug. “Good to see you.”

“You too,” he said with a nod as he stepped back out of the hug. Looking around, he asked, “Murphy throw you to the wolves all by yourself?”

Connie chuckled. “No, no. I just stepped away to grab a drink—he’s around here somewhere.” She pulled the tab on her soda can before asking, “How’ve you been?”

He mirrored her actions before giving a shrug, tone nonchalant as he said, “Not bad. Busy.”

“Good busy?”

He nodded, a brief grin passing over his face. “Real good busy.”

“That’s great!”

“How about you guys?”

She smiled as she nodded. “About the same. Might be relocating for a bit soon.”

“Oh yeah? Where you—”

Rick’s sentence got cut short when Steve appeared, hand landing gently on the small of Connie’s back as he spoke to her. “Hey, baby, come and meet—” He stopped himself short when he realized who his wife had been talking to before he showed up. “Shit, Rick, hey.”

The smug smirk on Rick’s face was only there for a fleeting moment but it was long enough for Steve to clock it and scowl, and for Connie to see it and realize in that moment that Steve and Rick’s problems most likely stemmed from them being more similar than not. It was hard not to smile to herself over the irony.

Rick nodded in greeting. “Murphy.”

Steve’s hand slid farther along the back of Connie’s waist until his hand was holding onto her hip. He didn’t even notice himself doing it. “Surprised you could make it.”

He shrugged. “Planned my leave ahead of time. Besides, the Missus wanted to meet everyone and it’s not like I’m ever gonna win an argument against her.”

Steve’s confusion at the statement rendered him silent, meanwhile Connie’s eyebrows shot up as she blurted out, “Missus? When did that happen?”

Rick laughed and shook his head, thumb absently running along the gold band around his ring finger. “Not that long ago. It was a quick thing—nothing fancy. Figured we’d do that and plan the party later.”

Connie couldn’t stop her surprised laughter, but she was genuine when she said, “Well congrats!”

Rick nodded, smiling. “Thank you.”

“How’d you two meet?” Steve finally got himself to speak.

He laughed, and from that reaction alone Steve knew that there was going to be more to the story than anyone was ever going to be privy to. “Work,” Rick answered before taking a sip of his drink. “Long story, but it all worked out.”

“Apparently,” was all Steve offered in return.

“That’s great,” Connie said with a nod, her earnestness almost enough to make up for the skeptical look lingering on Steve’s face.

As if on cue, like she could hear the conversation hitting a lull that either Steve or Rick was going to fill with a sarcastic comment of some kind, Rick’s wife appeared. The smile on her face was wide, bright as she practically collapsed into Rick’s side. She had long, blonde hair, so blonde that it was nearly white—a stark contrast to the red and black tank top and black jeans that she was wearing. She batted her eyes at Rick for all of a moment before turning to look at the couple that he was standing with.

Rick spoke up to handle the introductions. “Steve, Connie, this is Harley. Harley this is my cous—”

“Oh my god, yeah, he’s talked about you before!” she said excitedly as she held her hand out to Steve. “Nice to meet ya.”

Steve nodded, much better at playing nice with her than his cousin. “You too.”

Harley repeated the process with Connie before completely jumping tracks. “Oh, Connie, you gotta come help me out.” She motioned back over her shoulder, “We got all day to catch up but if someone doesn’t move fast, Rick’s dad is gonna get all the good snacks and then we’re gonna have a problem.”

The comment got a laugh out of everyone, and Connie didn’t put up any kind of fight at all as Harley reached and took her hand, happily tugging her back towards the small clusters of people they had all just woven their way through. They each called a, “Be right back,” over their shoulders, the three words tangled with laughter from both of them.

Rick was still chuckling and shaking his head even after the two women disappeared from view. When he finally looked back over at Steve, he saw the way his cousin was studying him, looking for something that Rick could only try to fathom.

Steve asked the question before he could be prompted to. “Didn’t think you were allowed to date coworkers?”

Rick laughed. “New department has different priorities.”

“I can see that.”

A few years prior, Rick might’ve taken the bait and let it get out of hand. He might’ve let it dissolve into whatever argument Steve was always looking to have with him. He was different now, though. Instead, he shifted gears slightly. “Speakin’ of which, Connie mentioned you guys might be moving soon?”

Steve sighed. He didn’t want to get into any of it with Rick but he wasn’t in the mood to lie, either. “Maybe, yeah.”

“You’re DEA now, right?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Don’t fuck with me—you know I am.”

Rick chuckled. “Yeah.” He paused. “They settin’ you up somewhere nice at least?”

Steve hadn’t even told his own parents what transfer he’d put in for. He didn’t want to back down from telling Rick, though, didn’t want it to turn into another thing that Rick could use to antagonize him with. They hadn’t been kids for a long time but sometimes when it was just the two of them talking the way that they were now, Steve felt like he was a dorky kid getting picked on by his own cousin all over again.

“Put in for Colombia,” Steve finally said.

Rick gave an impressed frown. “Goin’ after the big fish, huh?”

He rolled his eyes. “Rick—”

“What? Good for you. Gettin’ out there and doing somethin’.”

“Fuck you,” he scoffed under his breath.

“Be careful, though.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, I’ll remember to be fuckin’ careful.”

“I’m just saying,” he took another sip of his soda, “it’s a big world out there and it’s not what you think it is.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I know you think you’re so damn secretive with everything you do, but don’t think that I don’t know. The people you’re workin’ with, workin’ for, they’re just a bunch’a—”

“That,” Rick cut him off with a laugh. “That right there. That’s the shit I’m talkin’ about.” He made a sweeping gesture with the hand that was holding his soda can. “No one out there is as good as they think they are, Murphy. Not even you.” He saw the indignant look on Steve’s face and shrugged. “You’ll learn.”

“I’ll learn?” Steve repeated back, blood already approaching a boil. “What the fu—”

“We did it!” Harley chirped as her and Connie reappeared, each of them with plates stacked in their hands. “Almost had to put your dad in a headlock,” she joked as she handed Rick one of the plates, “but we did it.”

“Damn,” Rick joked easily, like he hadn’t been about to get reamed out by Steve, “would’ve loved to see you throw my old man into a headlock though.”

“Nah,” Harley said with a grin, “I would’ve been nice and left that to Connie.” Both women looked back and forth between Steve and Rick and it was impossible to miss the differences in their expressions and the way they were standing. “Whatcha talkin’ about?” Harley asked, clearly fishing for something.

Rick shrugged, an easy grin on his face as he looked at Steve. “Just talkin’ shop, right, Murphy?” he said, practically begging for Steve to cause a scene.

He didn’t take the bait. Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Yeah, just talkin’ shop.”

[queer-crusader]

Also Indian weddings are so ❤️❤️

Idk how it is for Indian people outside India but back home in the villages (I live in the city) a wedding is a week long affair there's multiple ceremonies and how many of the ceremonies each person attends is based entirely on how close that person is to the bride and groom like I had my brother's (cousin but for us first cousins are as close as siblings) wedding this April so I attended everything the roka, the mehndi, the actual wedding everything (although I fell asleep before his jaimala but in my defense I'd already had the food, I'd been there for hours and it was 2 in the morning)

Meanwhile in a distant relative's wedding I would only attend on the day of the actual wedding haha

I wanna get married just for the sake of the wedding lmao that's what desi weddings do to a girl

Honestly that's AMAZING. For us the plans for the wedding changed a 100 times, the mother of the groom wanted a traditional wedding in a way she never got to fully have but things had to constantly be adapted. One plan was to hold it in India for close relatives there (which would've probably resulted in a more drawn-out traditional ceremony), but some of those relatives are getting on in years so we had to plan it quickly - which meant a summer wedding, and summer in Calcutta is apparently gruelling. So in the end we went for a wedding in a hotel in Paris, where my BIL's family currently lives. Which meant the fire for one of the ceremonies was only electric candles, and a lot of other stuff had to change too. Hell, the mother-in-law is from a region where mehndi is not practiced at all so she was originally not going to do it, but her friends protested FIERCELY haha

In the end, walking around the fire, repeating mantras and exchanging garlands and the Indian version of wedding vows all in all lasted... One hour. It WAS followed by several Bollywood style dance medleys and a mixture of some western traditions too (cutting the cake, speech time, and perhaps a little more randomly my dad and I singing some songs to the bride and groom from the Balkan choir that my dad has been in all his life and I joined last year), and all the celebratory stuff. And of course we had the mehndi and the giving of blessings by close family and friends two days earlier (I'm so sorry, I forget what it's called, but it's the applying of this mixture of turmeric, sandalwood, olive oil and rose water all over the couple's faces). So that was day 1, and day 2 was just decorating the hall, with the wedding itself on day 3. So alas, not a full week of festivities, but still SUCH a special experience

What meant the most though was how much we were welcomed into this community. Like I said, it was in Paris, and a lot of the family's local Indian friends came. (People who were from all over India btw!! Rajasthan, Bengaluru, Mumbai, Goa, all over.) They said that because they were so far away from their blood relatives, THIS was their family here. And we got to know so many of them, got to exchange stories and jokes, danced with them... It was just incredible.

My dad mentioned in his speech that our families started out on such distant sides of the world, yet somehow drifted towards one another, and meeting felt like we'd known each other all our lives. I'm not one for fate at all, but if I were: yeah. I think our families would probably have been fated to meet.

[twinstarlovers]

PART 2 : Anyways I think ima have sum in our house that has to do my grandpa idk. Maybe a cardinal or idk. A pic is a lil too heavy for me I feel like but idk. So I just got news rn that my grandma fainted while they was at the cemetery burying him. I feel bad. My 2 cousins are medics & they were there so that’s good. I feel bad af. She’s been fine around the body & stuff cus they had a viewing yesterday where people came over & it was like the whole community at her house & she was fine according to the videos, I couldn’t be there for that either but I think seeing him actually get buried hit her that this is real & it makes sense. I feel like I would process it more if I were to see him get buried cus I couldn’t process his dead body. Maybe because I know he really isn’t gone so his dead body means nothing to me idk.

That’s actually crazy tho. I could never be a widow. I would actually kms. Imagine if YOU died. I remember in the beginning when we separated I was crying so much cus I was so scared you were gonna die & I never got a chance to meet you & shit like I was scared af. I’m annoying but yeah. You see it’s different for twins CUS YOUR OTHER HALF IS DEAD. Not dead but still dead in the physical. They can never be gone cus it’s a soul & you still have it but still. I would be suicidal over buddy & midnights death so imagine YOU. One thing about me… I can be very stable but when something tragic happens I can easily turn suicidal in a blink of an eye. It’s not because I was always unstable it’s just cus… that’s the only escape I knew of growing up. I don’t think of drugs or anything cus growing up I couldn’t turn to drugs to escape, only attempts to kms. Ah… I hope I live a long life but I hope I don’t live to go through more deaths. My grandparents are very old from my dads side & my dad is a cancer & so if they die then my dad will have a heart attack & die lol. He has high blood pressure & is very sensitive. The flight attendants on the plane once had to take off his shirt & lay him down & do shit to him cus he had high blood pressure on the plane. Not this time but a while ago. So deaths can happen quite dramatically in this family. My mom.. tbh I feel like she would die from a sickness. She has a Scorpio moon & all the stress she represses manifests in her body so she gets different sicknesses so I feel like one day she won’t be able to come back from it. My mom said my dad is gonna be “bent out of shape” if my grandparents die lol. My grandparents are earth signs & yeah they baby him & are family oriented af like my dad is always otp w them or is always at their house & shit (he’s the only child lol) so yeah lmao. My grandma from my moms side the one I said fainted is healthier than my mom literally. I guarantee you she will live longer than my mom because you can see my mom is worn out by stress & tbh I blame a lot of this on me. I’m a big responsibility. I try to make shit easier for her but the universe just doesn’t allow it. I’m not able to be fully independent or ‘needy’ if the universe keeps backing me into a corner but I understand I’ve been through so much that I’m not capable of being independent completely. It’s cus I’m a damn empath, cus I never had a chance to grow up & my trauma fucked my body up which doesn’t let me do shit but I guess. Anywaysssss sorry I want my spam back 😭😭😭

[connieshusband]

Fucking hate you, love to fuck you

Hate sex

Oikawa x fem!reader

"fuck you!" "Is that a promise?"

4k

reader was the captain and ace of the girls team, reader goes to Aoba Josai, reader is also Kag's cousin

Degradation, Slight Feminization Kink, Praise Kink, Fluffy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'm not very good at writing smut, I also got tired while writing so its short... sorry, Sir Kink: but very minor, no beta we die like men

-cross posted on my ao3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31932412

MINORS DNI

Summary:

You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.

And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.

___

Degration as well as any kink should have the full consent of all parties involved every time!!

I'm not very good at e2l so be gentle 🤩

I'm such a simp lmao

Oikawa could never figure out why you hated him when you both entered your first year of high school. Having come from a different middle school than you, he figured you'd be like the rest of the people in your grade level and fall all over him.

He wanted to ask why you had such a large stick up your ass during your first group project but chickened out. He assumed you'd at least get along as you were captain of the girls volleyball team and known for your powerful spikes. The setter in him really wanted to find out your perfect toss.

But it wasn't until your 3rd year when he came to despise you too.

He'd overheard you telling your best friend that your cousin made it onto his high schools volleyball team. Being the nosey Nelly that he is, he made the mistake of asking which school your cousin attended.

"Karasuno," you said, your chest puffed out.

It clicked: the black hair, intense expression, the last name even. He could practically see his protégé in the reflection of your eyes. He mentally slapped himself for not seeing it sooner.

His eyes narrowed, matching yours as tension of your silent beat down had to be cut by Iwazumi.

_____

You set down your suitcase, giving your aunt a big hug as she greeted you in the doorway. You give Tobio a fist bump as he helps you carry your things into the spare bedroom.

Your aunt had graciously allowed you to stay with her so you could be closer to school for your final year.

"I can't believe you're dropping volleyball club just as I'm about to join," Tobio whined, setting a suitcase on a chair in the corner of the room.

"I know," you said sullenly. You hadn't wanted to, but being captain and a 3rd year just wasn't going to be practical. Not being the best student, you thought it would be a wise decision.

Having always been close your your cousin on your dad's side came with its perks, including but not limited to drama. Ever since Tobio had joined volleyball in middle school he'd talked about Oikawa, usually brushing off some of the down right nasty things he'd said. But you hadn't. You took it upon yourself to help him train harder and harder to be able to defeat his bully when he'd found out he couldn't attend Aoba Josai with you.

Being an ace had its advantages when teaching Tobio about different techniques on how to set up a spiker best. Often gossiping about the smug bastard as you worked.

Of course, there was no escaping the pretty boy at school either. When your best friend, Ryu, had started dating his best friend Iwaizumi, being the 3rd and 4th wheel at hangouts became increasingly awkward.

And even worse when she mentioned your current math grade. Damn that ginger setter. And Mr. Perfect boasting about his grades to you. Which had lead you to your current situation.

Sitting in his bedroom.

Listening to him drawl on and on with rapidly decreasing interest.

While he looked hot as fuck.

What?!

With new found annoyance you scoffed at him snapping his fingers in your face.

"earth to y/n, I know I'm ravishing, but now it's math time." He said, a smirk decorating his lips.

“I ignored you on purpose, dumbass. Don't you get that I hate you?"

"I'm not asking you to stay, besides this has nothing to do with me?? Its calculus..."

"narcissist," you mumbled under your breath.

"must be your type," he shot back, "gawking at me for the last hour."

"aren't you dating whats-her-face from English?" You retorted, feeling your face heat up.

"yeah??" he said, confused.

You mocked his confusion, ""yeah" God, then stop flirting with me."

He scoffed, an eyebrow disappearing into bangs, "you must be a narcissist if you think I'm flirting with you because wow, it almost like I can't stand the sight of you, y/n," he rolled his eyes in disgust, sitting up in his chair indignantly.

You push him back into his chair, turning on your heels, saying nothing more.

"good!! I was going to kick you out anyway!"

____

You notice his current girlfriend wasn't hanging out with him at lunch nor sitting in his lap during English. In fact. He hadn't found new arm candy by the time your next session rolled around the following week.

___

After begrudgingly agreeing to do another tutoring session and making him promise no funny business, that rule was broken when he had his sleeves rolled up of his blue silk shirt, he glasses laying forgotten on the table, fingers rubbing his tired eyes as he tried to explain a difficult problem to you.

How could Tooru Oikawa be so fucking sexy and such a fucking dick at the same time?

Asking myself this a lot while writing

"fuck you, Oikawa! I don't need your bullshit!"

"fine! Fucking go then!" Giving you a light shove towards the door.

You hadn't registered that you'd slapped him until he look at you holding his red cheek with his large hand.

And you certainly hadn't registered that he had his tongue down your throat not a moment later. An honest to god moan leaving your lips which he smugly ate up.

You shoved him against his bed, your own smugness drinking up his moan.

You pulled your tank top off as you climbed on top of him. "You have condoms?" You asked, cringing at your breathless voice.

He flipped your position, hot breath fanning your ear, "don't you want to be filled with my cum, baby?"

Rolling your eyes, you flipped the position again, "the last thing the world needs is more of you running around."

He considered it before saying with a shrug "top drawer."

Leaning over, your legs still gripping his hips, you pulled out a condom wrapper and tossed it at his face. His nose scrunching cutely.

"pull some weight, lazykawa," you said, yanking his pants and underwear to his ankles. He was already fully hard and you took great satisfaction in wordlessly teasing him.

Trying to ignore you, a blush creeping up around his ears as he hurriedly rolling the condom onto his thick length, as you remove your bra. He flips your position once more, hovering over you, a taunting smirk plastered over his lips.

"can't go 10 minutes without getting your greedy pussy fucked?"

"Can't that mouth do anything besides half-assed insults, Shittykawa?" You mocked, he raised a cheeky eye brow at you.

He lowered his face to you heat, "want to find out?" You grip his hair harshly and shove his face between your thighs.

He rips off you panties and eagerly laps around your cunt before catching himself, slowing his ministrations.

He gripped your thighs as he buried his face in your heat. Alternating between sucking in your clit and finger fucking you, never letting you get both at the same time.

You bit your tongue, doing your best to avoid begging for more - a futile endeavor.

"C'mon babygirl, I know you want it," he sing-songed

You swallowed your pride, "please Tooru."

"sorry couldn't hear you, your legs were busy clamping around my ears.

Your legs shook in frustration and pleasure as he lazily drummed his finger on your sweet spot.

He leaned overtop of you, sucking harshly in your neck as his other hand massages your ass.

"please, Tooru! Please sir!"

"oo~" he remarks, returning between your legs, 3 fingers entering you suddenly as he nibbled along your thigh, quickly returning to sucking on your clit.

You come hard and without warning.

"delicious," he remarks, sitting up and licking his fingers clean, "and so many lewd noises too."

"You have a knack for bringing out the worst in people," you attempt to sound threatening but only succeeding in boosting his ego.

"Oh no~ I hate to find out what the best would be..." He unbuttons his blue silk shirt, allowing you to drink up the full show of his abs. "Not talking so big now, eh, Kageyama?"

You scowl at him before grunting a "just fuck me already".

"don't mind if I do."

You connected your lips with his, enjoying the noises he made as his neglected cock became engulfed in your warmth.

Neither of you lasted long.

He emptied himself into the rubber with a sexy grunt lining up with your moan.

After care he collapsed on top of you, his deep breaths matching yours.

Your hands still resting on his back, feeling scratches from your nails decorating his skin.

He had pressed his forehead to yours, you looked up to meet his eyes which were flitting between the purple marks on your neck and your eyes.

He hadn't held your gaze for more than a second when the realization of what just happened hit both of you at once. Pushing your bodies apart, you shamefully picked up your clothes from the floor leaving the room quickly.

____

It had been weeks since that day. You hadn't gone back for another tutoring session, claiming to Ryu that your grades had improved.

The free time had allowed you to be a better supporter for your cousin, getting a chance to meet his teammates and his friends.

You meet Karasuno's Ryu and think to yourself how well he and your Ryu would get along

While hanging out with your cousin at the spring tournament, you were enjoying a lunch break with a vibrant ginger, his best friend Hinata and a mutual friend with spiky hair. Bokuto, you had learned, was in your year and had a ton in common with you.

Maybe you'd gotten carried away returning his flirty looks and laughing a little too hard at his jokes. He remarked often how different your personality was from your cousin. After exchanging numbers to practice volleyball sometime (him being excited to practice with another captain/ace) an unfortunately familiar voice pulled you away from your fun.

"y/n?"

"what?" You roll your eyes, at Oikawa. You knew he had been watch you and the rest of Karasuno after they had win their first game. Beside you, you can feel the 3 boys, especially Tobio fuming.

"I have a question about the math assignment."

"I'm busy."

"too bad."

Recognizing that he wasn't going to go away until you give in, you stand up, brushing the dust from your bottoms. He leads the way out of sight from your new friends.

He harshly pushes you against the wall, "what do you think you're doing princess?"

You flip your position, he winced as his back connects with the concrete wall. "You ask you the same thing, princess."

His hand instinctively wrapped around your muscular arm submissively.

"you like that don't you?" You asked.

He nervously glanced around him for on lookers. Luckily he'd chosen a pretty secluded spot

"wouldn't want your fan girls to see you being treated like the pretty white you are?" You smirked.

He nodded shyly.

You grabbed his ass, earning a submissive squeak from him.

"such a good princess, getting his flat ass groped," you smile, you see him swallow a moan as his eyes flutter shut.

You begin painfully slowly palming him through his shorts, feeling him grow under you.

"I hope you lose," you whisper sensually into his ear.

He scowls at you as you pull away completely. Leaving him hard, exposed, and blushing as you return to your new friends.

______

The cheers from Karasuno's supporters hadn't quieted down as the team packed up. Still high on adrenaline and pride for your baby cousin, you took the time to use the bathroom before the long drive home.

Rounding the corner you heard voices, recognizing one to be Oikawa and the other belonging to a deep voiced man.

Sneaking a peak your eyes go wide. He was face to face with Ushiwaka. The former not fairing well in the conversation. You didn't think a man could look for upset than the way Oikawa looked right now.

As the conversation comes to a close, you wait until Oikawa has gone out if sight to chase after him. Accidentally running into Ushiwaka.

"sorry" you mumble, attempting to move past.

"you're with karasuno, yes?" Ushiwaka asks.

Your mind didn't really register him, instead giving him a quick pat on the shoulder and a "that's great, buddy," as you run after the brunette.

Hearing an "I look forward to playing them." In the distance.

"Hey!"

He was too far ahead to really hear you, pushing past the front doors.

"HEY!" You yell, nearly at his heels. You stand in the doorway breathing hard, "TOORU!"

He turns to face you, Iwaizumi annoyed that he can't convince their captain to just get on the bus already.

You beckon him over and he skeptically approaches you.

"here to gloat?" He asks, his voice lacking the usual sharpness.

"Tobio is staying at Hinata's tonight and my aunt is out is town for the next two days," you say.

You see the cogs working as he pieces together what you're offering. His mouth forming an 'o' shape as he realizes.

You smile smugly before running back to where Karasuno's bus is parked, giving Tobio a running jump hug, which he awkwardly returned.

__

If nothing else, Oikawa was punctual. Arriving at exactly at 7:30. You hadn't done anything special, just heated up 2 frozen pizzas that your aunt had left. Watching his form as he quietly ate his 3 cheese. He hadn't said a word besides "thank you" after you'd served him. While yes, apart of you meant when you'd said that you hoped he lose but the guilt of seeing the cocky bastard looking so small on the other side of the table, nibbling on the crust. Pity maybe?

"You played really we-"

His eyes were red, his pride keeping him from crying in front of you. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You want to have sex?"

he hesitated before asking, "can we be nice?"

You nodded. Making your way to his chair, straddling his hips and cupping his face. You kissed him slow and deliberate. You don't kiss long before you start to feel his dick springing to life. You stand up pulling him, walking backwards, towards your room accidentally walking into the partially open door.

"Graceful," he commented, a hint of his salty tone under his words as he resumed kissing you.

You grinded against each other for a few moments, drinking in each others moans. You pulled away momentarily, his cheeks dusted pink, breathing heavy, his dick straining in his pants.

"You're so beautiful," you said. He blushed harder, his cock twitching in it's confines. Your fingers dip under the waistband of his pants and pull them down, licking your lips when his cock hits his stomach. You're about to press your lips to his tip when you feel pressure on your forehead.

"y-you don't have to..." he says. You cock your head to one side, your lips parted as you gaze up at him. "I-I get it you know... I don't hold it against you..."

"I want to," you say, "if you want me to."

He nods slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he enters your warm mouth.

Out of all the sex you'd had, this moment with Tooru didn't feel like sex. It felt like making love.

After he got close, you popped your mouth off and had ridden him. His muscles still sore from his games. Your lips danced with his as his hips met yours. Both of you reaching your climax simultaneously.

Tired in the best way, you cuddle up to his bare chest, kissing his cheek, "don't think this means I like you, flatass."

"of course," he says, relaxing into your touch.

"good."

"it was the fact that my dick was down your throat that made be think that."

You punch him in the ribs, earning an 'ouch' followed by a quiet, "let me have one win today." Followed by an even quieter "sorry" from you.

You place a gentle kiss on his cheek again before returning to your snuggle position. He wraps his arms around your waist as you both drift off to sleep.

______

It's been a number of days and neither if you had spoken about it. You wanted to text him a simple 'good morning' but the image of him quietly shuffling out of your room at the crack of dawn when he thought you were still sleeping, placing a gentle kiss on your temple. You didn't want to seem too eager or somehow let on that not only were you awake but had enjoyed when he'd done it.

After the girls had lost to Fukurodani's girls in the semi finals, Ryu had insisted on dragging you out to play volleyball with her and some 'friends'. You secretly hope it's the other girls from your team. You find yourself not disappointed that it's Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

"Warm up 'Yama!" Oikawa yells at you, serving the ball in your direction as you and Ryu approach.

Caught off guard for a moment, you return the ball back at him, hitting his face lightly with an oof.

Of course, Ryu wanted to set for her boyfriend, leaving you with Oikawa.

You made a pretty good team, he picked up your style quickly, the ball exactly where you wanted it without having to tell him anything. Not to mention that Oikawa had racked up a third of the points on service aces alone, Iwaizumi finally adjusting to being on the receiving end on them. He and Ryu had made a magnificent comeback, clearly having practiced with each other before. You were lucky if you could get a piece of one of Iwa's spikes, Tooru faired better but they quickly took the lead. You grab Oikawa's arm, causing him to look at you curiously.

"set it to me, but I'll set it back. You spike it," you said, finishing your sentence by looking at him.

He considers it.

"break it up love birds!" Iwa shouted at you. Ryu making obnoxious kissing noises behind him. You quickly let go of his arm to flip her off, causing her to burst out laughing.

Iwa serves.

"it's mine!" Tooru yells. Mid jump, he faces you, the subtlest of winks as the ball flies into the air.

Smiling, you angle your body for a spike, Ryu taking the bait, but at the last moment, your hand sent the ball perpendicular to the net, straight into Oikawa's hand. The ball whizzing past Iwa's ear.

The adrenaline getting the better of you as you both embrace, celebrating a successful kill.

You revel in you best friend and her stoic boyfriend exchanging a bewildered look.

At the end of the game Oikawa offers to drive you home, when out of the way of prying eyes, he leans against his car. "Before your cousin goes to nationals, he and shorty should play against us."

"Yeah and maybe Tobio can set for me one round," you say, playing with the hem of his shirt, "but if there's any funny business from you, I'm calling it off."

"Who, me??" he jokes, aware of his history with your family.

You don't respond, opting to gently press your lips to his. He returns the kiss, cupping your face.

________________

Did I write myself into the story? ┐( ∵ )┌ Maybe a little...

I'm also not opposed to doing a part two, so lemme know in the comments ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Also not me writing my first Haikyuu fic be Oikawa when I wanna break his knees 🥴🤚 (couldn't resist tho he's been on my mind, especially with glasses 🥵🤒)

Also also not me writing this from 1:30 am to 8am then had half my work deleted so I had to redo it the following night 🤪👈

[yuzukult]

drive safe (m) || bbh x reader

title: drive safe pairing: baekhyun x reader genre: brothersbestfriend!au, chanyeol!olderbrother, romance warnings: slight rated 18+ scene, but it’s short and poorly written  words: 12.4k prompt: simply put, you’ve been crushing on your brother’s best friend for the longest time but he hasn’t seen you in a while... and you’ve grown.  notes: needed something different to write :) please enjoy... i did another brother’s best friend au bc i just love baekhyun in that kind of au lmao... I FINALLY UPLOADED!!!

He was heavily intoxicating. From the whiff of the cologne he wears to the way his lips look, so tempting and plump, all the way to the sweet melodic laugh that escapes from his throat, hand on his toned chest to contain himself.

This man was beautiful—correction— is beautiful, and has always been since you’ve laid your eyes on him.

You recall those days staying in the living room until the late hours of the night; coffee table filled with loose papers and opened textbooks to cram in for your exams, room lacking a desk for you to work on. Your brother would trail into your home once the street lights turn on, friends joining him occasionally, none capturing your attention until you met him one night.

Mocha eyes that sparkled under the dim lights at the front steps, caramel hair that looked so unbelievably soft, that you had to restrain yourself down from asking him to just let you run your fingers through those locks. Jawline chiseled, cheekbones high, and ears flushing coral when he gets embarrassed—he was just breathtakingly beautiful. And when he leans over to see what you’re currently engrossed in, supple cheeks raising as high as the sky from his smile, teeth pearly white and exposed, his gentle voice hypnotizes you to the point that you almost miss when he says his name.

“I’m Byun Baekhyun.” How the hell is he so pretty? “You must be Chanyeol’s little sister.”

Your Cloud 9 experience disappears at the sound of your brother’s name. It’s like he loves to burst the bubble of any type of happiness your way. He never fails to ruin things for you.

Then again, that was back when you were 16 and he was 22. He was in college, finishing up the remaining time he had left while you were just a mere high school student—not to mention that you were also his best friend’s little sister. This time, you’re 22 and he’s the 28 year old, finished college with a career outlined for him and you’re the one trying to finish up the last year.

So when Baekhyun stands at the threshold of your parent’s house behind Chanyeol, mouth agape at the mere sight of you, he’s in complete shock at how much you’ve grown and changed in the past years. To say the least, he hasn’t seen much of you around since you turned 18... and well, he was regretting missing the glow up.

“Why are you looking at my sister like that?” Chanyeol hisses, pushing his friend’s chest back with a finger. “You act like you’ve never seen her before.” Baekhyun can only shake his head from his thoughts, clearing his throat. “I haven’t seen her since she left for college.”

A hum from you fills the air, grasping the attention of the two males. “I’ve been back every holiday, not my fault you haven’t been around.”

Turning on your heel, you make your way past them, slipping into a pair of random sandals at the front door before greeting the rest of your family members that begin to trickle in for the annual family dinner. Every year is dreadful, but this year got interesting just from Baekhyun’s attendance.

He was every high school girl’s wet dream.

And at the same time, dream boyfriend.

He’s cute yet he’s got this aura around him that just makes him so... sexy. You recall having high school friends over during those younger years and when Baekhyun and Chanyeol would walk through the front doors, your friends would drool at the sight of the boys. You couldn’t really agree on the Chanyeol portion of that (obviously), but your saliva would run rivers length long at the appearance of Baekhyun.

What was even worse was that both your brother and dad were horrible at teaching you how to drive. This was after you’ve concluded that you had a crush on Baekhyun, and Chanyeol suggests to your parents to hire Baekhyun to teach you how to drive a car.

“Dad, you and I both know that we’re way too short-tempered to teach her. Why not hire Baek?”

“I don’t see why not.” He nods in agreement, glancing over at your mom for approval, but she’s already so giddy over the moon from the sound of his name. “Of course! My second son teaching my daughter? Why would I have any issues with that? I’ll pay him, don’t worry.”

You want to die. “Why can’t you teach me, mom? We don’t really want to bother Baek and pressure him to teach me, right?”

“Actually,” Chanyeol grins; you swear every time he does it’s mischievous with a sinful plan hidden underneath. “Baekhyun is rather quite the angel and offered himself when I brought this situation to him. He doesn’t even want to get paid for it, I just offered.” Are you kidding me? Of course. Chanyeol wants you dead.

You think you actually die when you’re sitting in Baekhyun’s car in the middle of an abandoned supermarket’s parking lot. The two of you. No sign of Chanyeol anywhere, and it’s the first time you wished that your brother were there.

“Yeol isn’t coming?”

“No,” Baekhyun frowns, pulling the seatbelt over his body and locking it in; you mimic his actions to save yourself from getting lectured by the boy of your dreams. “He said he was either going to die from your driving or high blood pressure.” You exhale a heavy breath. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Afraid of being alone with me or something, little Park?”

“Uh, no.” You lie. “Can I start?”

“Sure, show me what you know.” Pressing a foot on the brakes, you push the key into the ignition and the car roars at the start. “Are you sure you trust me driving in your car? Isn’t this girl your baby?” There’s an afterthought of Baekhyun getting this car; almost begging Chanyeol everyday to go by the second-hand car dealership to admire this beauty—well that is if you consider a 2002 Lexus SC430 with the once jet black paint chipping off a beauty, then you’d be able to relate.

He nods, licking his chapped lips from the breeze that enters in before letting out a soft sigh. “She is, so... be careful, little Park, and drive safe. I trust you to drive her. I don’t even allow Yeol to let alone touch her, so consider yourself special.” Special. Can he not say such things while you’re already anxious about being in his presence, let alone his car!

Baekhyun teaches you to drive. Another great quality he has to add to the list from that occurrence: patience. He’s the one who opened the doors exiting out of your childhood in two ways: learning how to drive and learning what it feels like to like someone. It’s the first time you’re alone with him and you’ll never forget it. It only solidified your feelings for him.

And so when you’re ready to pick up your friends for the night that you first get your license, borrowing your brother’s car, your heart swells and bursts out of your chest when he approaches your window before you pull out of the driveway. Resting his arm on the door, joy tugs on the edges of his lips. “Drive safe, will you, little Park? I know I taught you well, but I still want you home safe and sound.”

Baekhyun might be the actual cause of your death.

“So, I heard you’re in for engineering? You’re finishing up your last year, aren’t you?” 

You hum against the glass that’s pressed onto your lips, drinking in the cold water to cool yourself from the sweltering heat. Summer was supposed to be over now, but since you’re in the off-season, the weather was currently in its moods, switching on and off like a middle aged woman dealing with menopause.

Popping your lips after releasing the cup, you nod. “Finally going to grab my degree and get to do what I actually want to be doing.” You want to be out of this conversation with this... woman; you’re not even sure who she was and what relation she had to your family. A cousin, maybe? An aunt? What do you even refer to her as?

“Wow, amazing!” She exclaims as she clasps her hands together abruptly that it startles you. “My son would be a perfect match for you, he’s handsome, young...” Her voice starts to drift off at the same time that your eyes do, skimming to find your brother’s right hand man, and with your luck, his gaze is locked on yours.

He’s been watching you the entire time. 

Baekhyun’s got a red solo cup in a hand, body leaning against the white plastic fence that perimeters your deck, hair pushed back to reveal his effortlessly beautiful forehead, and just the view of the first couple buttons of his shirt let loose, you felt your knees buckle. He bites his bottom lip in light of gaining your attention— one he’s been trying to snatch the entire afternoon. He’s standing besides Chanyeol, as expected since he is his guest, but they hang almost joined at the hip and just the thought of it makes you want to roll your eyes. But when his stare locks into yours and he mouths, “come over,” you’re immediately complying with his demands.

“I’m sorry,” You interrupt the strange woman, turning to face her. “Aren’t we related? Are you trying to set me up with your son... who potentially is my cousin?” 

“Oh no! I’m just a family friend; your aunt invited me over!” With that, it only results in you clicking your tongue in disappointment, bowing to the woman apologetically. This was a waste of time. “I’m sorry, I’m not interested in being set up. Now, if you would excuse me...”

She’s probably shocked, from what you can tell on the little smirk and chuckle coming from Baekhyun as you make your way toward him, arm reaching out for a side hug. “My little Park, all grown up, aren’t you?”

“Well, I’m not sixteen anymore, so possibly.” You joke.

Talking to Baekhyun felt effortless. Almost as though he wasn’t that same guy you knew when you were growing up. The crush that had looked so out of reach, too cool and attractive for you indeed seemed like he was on the same level. Bantering came easy and there were more things in common between the two of you than you previously assumed. As if this entire time… you were surrounding him with an image of what you thought he was but it wasn’t solely who he had been.

“Ah, so you agree. You think you’re handsome.”

“Are you trying to quote a ‘Mean Girls’ line on me?” He asks, eyes squinting in your direction coltishly. Raising both your hands up in feigned defeat, you tug your lips into a straight line. “Oh, you caught me, copyright police. But I believe I merely paraphrased the movie.” He lifts his brows at you skeptically, arms crossed against his chest. “Paraphrased?”

“I’m sure that the line goes like ‘so you agree, you think you’re really pretty.’“

“Maybe not me, but I think you’re pretty.” Baekhyun grins cheekily. It’s not exactly a smooth line, you admit, but anything coming from Baekhyun inflates your heart, reminiscing the old high school feelings that stirred. “Mm, cute. But not exactly slick, Baek. Slimy, possibly.”

He seethes in disagreement. “Oh, little Park, I’ll have you know that I am not slimy; I am very much a gentleman.”

“Some gentlemen have a slimy side of them.” You clarify with a tilt of your head.

“I can assure you that I am not slimy but rather smooth and creamy.”

You grimace. “I’m not sure this conversation is going into the right direction.” Pausing for a moment, you cluster the fortitude to belatedly ask: “So, why haven’t you been around for the holidays like you used to? My mom missed having you around during the holidays.”

Baekhyun purses his lips, taking in a deep breath before speaking up. “Honestly, I’ve always had a girlfriend during the holidays. Otherwise I would’ve been over. Unfortunately, those four years that I haven’t been at your house meant four different girlfriend’s family homes that I’ve been to instead of yours.” Of course, Baekhyun couldn’t be without a girl on his arm. Just look at him!

“Mmm,” You buzz in a judging tone that sharpens his focus on you. “Disappointing. Anyways,” Jumping on the tips of your toes, you lean over to peek into his cup. “Whatcha got in there, Baek?”

“Wanna smell?” He brings the cup closer to your face, underneath your nose as your face twists at the strong scent of alcohol. “What the hell is that?”

He lets out a laugh at your expression. “Its just beer—“

“—that is definitely not just beer. What did you put in that?” Baekhyun brings the drink neighboring your nostrils again. “It’s IPA, sometimes they have weird smells to it. Sometimes it even smells like weed.”

You take a second glance at him, hesitant about trying this peculiar drink. You’ve had beer before— hell, you’d had tons of types of alcohol before, but you can safely say that IPA beer isn’t one of them. The liquid hits your tongue, barely any if you’re being completely honest, and you pull away. “Eugh,”

“Eugh?” Baekhyun imitates your reaction. “You don’t like?”

“Not exactly.” You frown, stepping back from the drink in his hand. “How do you even drink that? It’s such an acquired taste to enjoy it.”

“I guess I had a lot of different kinds of alcohol while I was in University, but IPA wasn’t one of them so I gave it a shot. Kinda like them now, not what we’re usually used to.”

“You make yourself sound like you’re old.” And with that, he taps your nose with the tip of his index finger. “And I am old. In comparison to you, little Park.” 

That’s when it hits. Baekhyun can be sweet, kind, flirtatious, but one thing he can’t be is someone who could ever reciprocate feelings for you. Even if you’ve grown out of those braces, awkward puberty stages, and now an adult woman who is somewhat confident in your body— Byun Baekhyun will always see you as one thing only— Little Park, Park Chanyeol’s kid sister.

“Right,” You respond quickly, distancing yourself from him a bit and Baekhyun feels the atmosphere shift. “I think my dad needs me to help him handle the grill.”

“Chanyeol’s over there.” Baekhyun retorts back as abruptly. “Are you okay? Is it something I said?” 

“No.” You reply, prepared to turn away and say your goodbyes to the older male, but his hand grasps onto your wrist, causing you to wrinkle your brows in confusion. “Baek?”

“Talk to me. What did I say? I like talking to you and it’d be nice to keep this conversation going.” You tilt your head in perplexity. “Okay. That’s great and all but I’ve had a raging crush on you since I was like sixteen. I’m kind of over this whole thing and I’m ready to keep you as my brother’s best friend that I had a crush on when I was entering the early stages of puberty—”

“Wait, you liked me?”

A look of incredulity spreads on your face. “You didn’t know?” He shakes his head slowly, gaze trailing to the concrete ground as if he’s trying to replay the history of your relationship, attempting to find the hints smeared throughout the years. “Well, I did, and if I’m being honest, you’re great and everything, but I don’t think I can muster enough courage to build a friendship with you if I still have these somewhat lingering feelings.”

Seconds before you’re escaping his hold, his grip tightens. “I didn’t know.” He reiterates your words, eyes finally meeting yours. “Why didn’t you tell me? And why are you telling me this now? And at your family reunion at that?”

“I... don’t know.” You shrug, body language signaling that you’d stay and his hand on your loosens. “I guess I’m tired of being called little Park and seen as Yeol’s baby sister when I’ve been pining over this unrequited love.”

“You can’t even say that when I didn’t even know you liked me.”

“Oh, come on, Baek,” Groaning, your shoulders dropping in exhaustion from this entire conversation. “You’re the epitome of every girl’s first crush. Not to mention that you get along with my family. Pretty much the easiest formation of a perfect guy for a girl who was just finally realizing how cute guys were.”

Baekhyun scrunches up his nose, placing his drink down on the table beside him. “You never made it obvious.”

“Oh please, I was very obvious. Even Chanyeol probably knew about it.”

“Don’t say that, I really didn’t know! I’m sure your brother doesn’t either.” Eventually, you’re able to step far back enough that he can’t hold you back anymore. “It’s fine, Baek, I totally get it. Enjoy your night here? I’m going to socialize a bit more—I mean help my dad with the grill. Whichever one first, uh, you get the gist.”

“Oh, wow, your son is... actually pretty good looking.” You’re back in this discussion with the same strange woman before, but this time with your blood-related aunt who was the one to convince the lady to talk to you in the first place. She’s skimming through pictures she has saved of him, yet again trying to persuade into talking to her lovely son. He’s cute, you admit. He’s a year younger but that wasn’t going to turn you away. His mom, however, is coming off a bit too strong and your aunt was trying her best to pull her back.

“See? I told you! I invited him to come join us tonight, maybe you’d catch him here!” The woman claps her hands together excitedly, over the moon that you’d agreed to her perspective. “Speaking of my lovely boy, there he is!” 

And right when you face the direction she points, you see him—sun-kissed skin with his hair gelled back, tall as a skyscraper with the longest legs ever—this guy was built like a God. His eyes skim the room, but before they can meet with his mother’s, he spots someone approaching him and a smile tugs on the edges of his lips.

“Baekhyun, I didn’t know you knew this family?” 

Of course he knows Baek.

They’re exchanging a handshake, and you’re flaring your nostrils because how small is this world? Regardless, you’re not going to let Baekhyun ruin your day. No way.

“Park Chanyeol’s my friend,” He responds, placing a hand in his pocket. “And you’re here for?”

“My mom is here, she asked me to come. Son duties, you know the drill.” The younger male shakes at his own statement before giving Baekhyun a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll catch up with you later. She wants me to meet some girl she thought was cute, so we’ll see how that goes. See you in a bit?”

Baekhyun nods in confirmation, letting him go and as he watches his figure make his way through the crowd, that’s when he notices something. You’re standing next to a middle-aged woman—and is... is Lucas walking toward you?

“Hey mom,” The towering man smiles, giving his mom a hug. “I’m here as you asked. I’m assuming this lovely lady...” The lady introduces you to her son, and he extends his hand. “I’m Lucas.”

Baekhyun is pissed. If you saw his expression right now, the smoke coming out his ears would’ve been conspicuous.

Lucas isn’t... the smartest guy you’ve ever met but at least he’s sweet and kind?

Momma’s boy, a big one at that and you find it charming that he’s so loving and caring towards his mother. A great son... however, as a boyfriend, you can already guess what the bigger fights were going to be about.

“So my mom tells me that you’re almost done school, how’s that going for you?” The two of you have migrated over to one of the picnic tables in the backyard, old and wooden yet still surprisingly structurally strong enough to hold the weight of multiple people... and thankfully without his mom. Least she knows when to leave you alone.

“Going good, I can’t wait to get it over with and start working. School is dreadful.”

“Oh, yeah, I know that much. That’s why I didn’t go to college.” No college, not a bad thing, you think to yourself. After all, it’s what you make out of it, right? “Instead, I chose the modeling path.” What. Well, it made sense. Lucas is the equivalent to a God in looks, and you were starting to wish you were exaggerating. Probably another red flag if you guys started dating—he’s too pretty for his own good and girls would probably be crawling at his feet and your level of jealousy can’t handle that.

“Modeling? That’s impressive! How’s it going for you?”

“Slow this season. But it’ll pick up eventually. I’m only twenty-one anyways. College was never for me so I figured anything else would be better. My mom always told me that I was handsome, so why not put what I already have to use, you know?” Other than the fact you wanted to correct him and tell him that twenty-one is actually peak age for modeling, you wanted to laugh a bit because he was convinced to chase after this specific goal solely from the compliments of his mother, his biggest fan who happens to be blinded by love. Either way, Lucas was lucky he was cute enough to be a model or this conversation would’ve been embarrassing.

“If you like it, go for it. I don’t see a problem with it.” A gust of wind blows in your direction and it makes you shiver.

He smiles. “I like that. Not a lot of people agree with the whole modeling thing. Even my ‘mentor’ kind of blows off the idea and pressures me to go to college to find a ‘real’ career.”

“Mentor, huh? Has he considered giving you trade school as an option?”

“And get my hands dirty? No way. These hands were made for modeling, not being someone’s plumber and playing with pipes.” An image forms in your head— Lucas... as a plumber? Oh... that’s... kind of hot. His voice interrupts your thoughts in the end, and you want to frown until you see someone approaching. “Speaking of my mentor... have you met Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun is standing at the end of the table; although he seems nice toward Lucas, you can feel the cold air coming from him. “We’ve met.” He says, words short and sharp. “Known her since she was a high school student.”

“Oh, nice, were you also her mentor, hyung?”

“What?” Baekhyun responds, the space on his forehead crinkles. “No I wasn’t her mentor, I’m a friend of her brother’s,” slightly annoyed by Lucas’ question. You can’t seem to place a finger on why he would be so... discomposed. “Have you applied to those colleges I sent to you, by the way?”

“Hyung, I told you that college wasn’t for me. I don’t get why you’re pushing me so hard.”

“Lucas, you’re not going to be young forever. What are you going to do when you’re 40? Be in those Viagra commercials? Advertisements where the elderly have ‘fallen and can’t get up’? Be realistic here.”

It’s Lucas’ turn to be upset, and rightfully so. “Hyung, you’re embarrassing me in front of my new friend. Who— by the way, is very supportive of my endeavors.” Baekhyun scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief and disapproval. “Supportive? Actually, give us a moment, Luc, I have to speak with her privately.” Grabbing onto your wrist, he tugs you from your seat, and you whimper at the aggressiveness. 

“What the hell! Baek, let go, your grip is tight.” 

Taking you inside the house, he walks through the hallways while dragging you when he sees the familiar door that leads to your bedroom, shoving it open before shutting it after the two of you are inside. He lets go of his grip. “Explain.”

You sneer at his demand. “Explain what? I didn’t do anything. You should be explaining because you dragged me here.”

“Just thirty minutes before, you profess your feelings for me and then you’re talking to some guy? What the hell is that?” You jaw tightens but you want to retain your emotions since his were spilling. There was never a good outcome if two people that were butting heads are acting upon only feelings.

So you walk over to your closet, sliding the doors open in search of a sweater but this only makes him infuriated. “Answer me— why are you looking through your closet while we’re having a conversation?” Snatching a hoodie off the hanger, you pull it over your head. “I’m cold. And you’re the one who is having a conversation. Well, not really a conversation, more like you’re lecturing me.”

“I am not lecturing you. I’m trying to read you and you’re not making it any easier for me.”

“What are you reading me for?” With the hood over your head with the end of your dress peeking out of the oversized fabric, he thinks you’re cute like this and he can’t help himself. Lunging toward you, his hands cup your cheeks and before you know it, his lips are pressed yours.

Baekhyun is kissing you.

Byun Baekhyun, your brother’s right hand man, your parents favorite non-blood related child, is kissing you. He has to force himself to pull away; he never thought that your lips would be so soft, and how right it felt in that moment.

Your fingers reach up to touch your lips and you’re left speechless for a moment before the words erupts from your mouth. “Did you just kiss me?” He’s just as dumbfounded as you are because all he does is nod in return. “Why’d you do that?”

“Look, I don’t know if I have the same exact feelings for you like you do for me but seeing you with Lucas in that way... pissed me off. I didn’t like it.” Baekhyun looks troubled because he’s letting his hands run through his chocolate locks that were styled previously. “But I think I like you. I never really thought anything of it until you said something... but maybe we can give this a try?”

You squint your eyes at him. “Baekhyun, this isn’t something you just ‘try.’ I don’t want to be lead on. You can’t just say that you ‘think’ you like me and walk in like you own me or something.”

“At least give me a chance to make this work. Obviously something happened back there because I was ticked off enough to embarrass my mentee in front of you.” He sighs, dropping his body onto your made childhood bed. “Poor kid.”

“Eh, he’ll be fine. He needs something anyway. I heard he lives in his mother’s basement, which is fine I guess, but despite not going to college, he has debt?” Baekhyun glares at you from underneath his long luscious lashes, but it’s light and he’s not upset anymore. “Don’t make fun of my mentee, I’m supposed to guide him!”

“Do better.” You retort before plopping your body beside him on your bed, laying down flat on the covers. “I’ll give you a chance. But we can’t tell Chanyeol. If it doesn’t work out, then it’s a secret and he doesn’t have to worry. If it leads to more... let’s just wait ‘til that time comes and we can figure something out.” 

You can’t see him from where you are, but the sound of his voice is a dead giveaway that he’s smiling at your words. “I like the sound of that.”

“Aw, look at that, my best friend and my kid sister. Where were you guys?” Chanyeol looks a bit tipsy with his hooded eyes and crooked smile, but he’s only spilling elation when he slips in his socks and into the arms of Baekhyun when the two of you exit your room. 

“Uh, I wanted to move my desk and Baek offered to help.” Yeah. That’s a good excuse. 

“Mm, could’ve always asked me. But of course, Baekhyun here is an angel and loves to help out my family. Wouldn’t it be amazing if he was our brother?” The expression on your face cringes in disgust, the thought of Baekhyun being your brother and it’s like he reads your mind when he catches Chanyeol stumbling in his arms, pulling the taller male up. “You don’t want me as your brother, Yeol, that’s weird. Maybe I’ll date my way into your family,” He jokes, and you mouth ‘too soon!’ in his direction as he gives an unapologetic shrug shared with a smile.

“Who... her?” Chanyeol points to you with his chin, brows crinkles but releases with a laugh. “No way, man. She’s not even your type.”

“She can be my type.” The expression on Baekhyun’s face was pained, attempting to hold him up. “Little Park is pretty.”

“Mm, but she’s the serious type and you’ve had probably ten ‘serious’ girlfriends in the past four years!” He exclaims as you’re guiding the two of them toward Chanyeol’s bedroom, swinging open the door. “Little Park hasn’t even brought a boyfriend home.... heh, mom thinks she can’t get a boyfriend.”

You hiss. “That’s not true.” Chanyeol sticks his tongue out at you and you get a hit of vodka coming from his breath. “I think it’s true.” He sings, dropping his large frame onto the bed, eyes heavy. “Little Park needs a real boyfriend, Baek, not a fling!” Minutes later of Baekhyun trading Chanyeol’s jeans out with sweatpants, the two of you slowly close his door and heave out a weight breath.

“That was exhausting. He does this every year; it’s like my family is purposefully trying to get him to drunk to make me suffer.”

“Sorry,” Baekhyun mutters, hands slipping into the pockets of his jeans. “I should’ve been there to help you.” You wave him off, shaking your head in disagreement. “He’s my brother, it’s my responsibility.” Just when you’re about to walk away, he tugs on the hem of your shirt before you turn with a raised brow.

“You’re not... upset about what he said, are you?”

“About what?”

“About me. Having flings, never really having a serious girlfriend. About you, never bringing anyone home.”

You shrug. “I never wanted to bring anyone home in the first place. Doesn’t really matter to me.” Baekhyun chews on his bottom lip anxiously, fiddling with the fabric between his fingers. “I hope I can be that for you eventually.”

“Be what?”

“The one you want to bring home.”

Naeun is your best friend, biggest supporter, and also the most brutally honest person you’ve ever met. It’s in her DNA to be this way and although sometimes her candidness can hurt, you know she means well. So when you tell her about your Baekhyun escapades, her jaw is dropped down to the floor in awe.

“You’re kidding.”

“I am nothing but forthright.”

She smiles, tilting her head back in skepticism. “... No, you’re definitely playing me. There is no way he said that he likes you. There’s no way.” You pout. “Is it that hard to believe that a guy like him finds me attractive? Jesus, Naeun, hurt my feelings why don’t ya.”

“Girl, I’m just saying. He’s too hot and too much of a fuck boy... so him wanting to risk his relationship with his best friend to go after her sister... unless...” Her thoughts trail off for a moment before she comes back. “... Nah, never mind. There’s just no way. There’s a catch to this, I’m going to find it.”

“There’s absolutely no catch.”

“I’m just saying baby girl, watch out.” She’s leaning back on a wooden chair in your room that you had borrowed from the dining room set, swaying on the two legs dangerously. “Girls get their hearts broken because of him. And it’s because he’s such a nice boy about it that it makes them feel bad. Isn’t that crazy? What power he holds.”

“You’re giving him way too much power just from this conversation we’re having. Naeun, if you believe that he has that much hanging over all of us, then you’re enabling him to do so!”

“So you agree... you think he’s a playboy with a lot of power.”

“Naeun!” You holler, rolling your eyes at your friend. “He’s nothing but a guy that I like. We keep talking about him as if he’s this being that’s better than all of us when in actuality, he’s just a really nice guy.”

Naeun scoffs. “Who is really fucking hot, by the way. Don’t forget that.” She stands up and makes her way toward your closet, slinging the doors wide open. “Which means you should probably update your wardrobe too. You think a guy like Baek wants to date someone in hoodies and sweatpants all the time?” You purse your lips at your friend. “Don’t make me feel insecure about this, he already told me he likes me.”

“Okay, but what about the competition? Aren’t there girls lining up for him?” There’s silence for a moment, indicating that you’re almost lured into her trap before she sings your name. “Come on, wouldn’t you want to try looking cute for him?”

“I try!”

“Did you meet him today?” She asks. “Yes?” You respond questioningly. Why?”

“And you were wearing that?” Naeun gestures your attire. As mentioned before, just like your entire closet, you’re dressed in black hoodie and sweatpants. At least they matched, right? She grabs your hand and pulls you up. “You said you guys were going to meet tonight again, so let’s get you ready for that!”

If meeting Baekhyun required getting ready 3 hours in advance, you don’t know if you can date him anymore.

As planned, Baekhyun is parked at the end of the block waiting for you, shooting a text in your direction to let you know that he’s here. Slipping your phone into your bag, you heave out a heavy sigh of how tight this skirt that Naeun forced you into. “I thought I looked fine earlier,” you grumble to yourself before adjusting your blouse and snatching a jacket from the coat rack.

Attempting to sneak out of your house without gaining Chanyeol’s attention was hard. He couldn’t help being nosey. It was in his nature.

“Whoa, looking smokin’ hot for who?” Chanyeol exclaims with his arms crossed in front of your bedroom door. You groan loudly. “Can you please just leave and get out of my way? I’m trying to go out.”

Chanyeol looks astonished. “And with who? I’ve never seen you dressed like this before.” You push a strand of hair that gets caught in your makeup. “Honestly, I don’t know either. Naeun made me look like this.”

“You’re probably going to scare the guy away before you even get him.” You frown. “Let me figure that out tonight. So if you would excuse me—“ Aggressively shoving your brother aside with your hidden Hulk strength, he slams into the wall and winces as you made a run for it.

You want to cry. You felt ridiculous, and Chanyeol’s comment only made it worse. Walking up to Baekhyun’s car, you see him leaned against the hood of his car, skimming through something on his phone. He looks amazing in dark slacks and jet-black sweater tucked in them. He lifts his head to see you, jaw dropping in shock. Your legs were out for the world to see, shirt low enough for a glimpse of your cleavage and he can only gulp and clear his throat before stuttering on his words. “Whoa—I—“

You respond with a moan. “Do I look ridiculous? Naeun came over earlier and forced me to dress prettier, and Chanyeol stopped me before leaving the house and said I looked crazy. Please tell me which one it is so I can go back and do something about it.”

Baekhyun laughs. He laughs as if the situation you’re in is funny. “I think you’re always pretty. You just look even prettier today.” You chew on your bottom lip anxiously, shoulders dropping in doubt. “Are you sure? We haven’t even started the date yet and I feel like I ruined it.” He only shakes his head with a soft smile, walking over to the passenger door to open it for you.

 When he’s sitting in the car beside you, he swears his throat closes up when your skirt hikes up in your seat. Warding off the sinful thoughts of you, he starts the ignition of the car, letting the engine warm up for a bit before driving off. The last time you’d been in this car was when he was teaching you how to drive; weekend after weekend, while just you and Baekhyun in this worn down Lexus, he stole your heart bit by bit. You never thought you’d find yourself in this situation again; somehow you were the one stealing his.

“Where are we going?”

“Dinner. I heard there was this really great Italian place they opened downtown. Maybe we can get dessert after?” He glances over at you to see your reaction, only regretting because you so pretty with the sunset behind you.

“That sounds good.” You grin.

That night, the dinner itself wasn’t the most amazing thing you’ve ever had, but the talks you had with Baekhyun were. There wasn’t a dull moment with him, he had stories to share that made you laugh until you’re almost choking on the pasta and by the time dinner was over, you were just glad that there was still dessert to look forward to.

“This place looks new.” You say, eyes sparkling with the countless of options listed on the menu mounted above. “There’s so many to choose from.” Baekhyun notes that although your eyes seem youthful and the smile plastered on your face supported that, everything about you wasn’t the same anymore. How’d he miss out on this for so many years?

You wave your hand in front of his face. “Baek, you good? Have you decided what you like?” He lets out a nervous chuckle, nodding his head. “Uh, yeah. Grab me the strawberry on a cone, will you?”

He slides his card to pay before you could even stop him, frowning when you hand him his cone as the two of you exit the shop. “I could’ve paid, you know.”

“I don’t really trust anyone who gets mint chocolate chip… so…”

“Oh, so you don’t. What’s wrong with mint?”

“Do you like eating toothpaste or something?” You slap his arm, and he winces, remembering that although you were small in comparison to him, your strength was impeccable. “Oh—shit, I’m sorry, Baek.”

“I forgot how strong you were. Do you lift or something?” His face contorts in pain, but he’s not in that much pain. “No, although, now that you mention it, I should probably get into it since I know I’d be so good.” Baekhyun winces. “How am I ever going to stand next to you? I’ll be living in fear all the time.”

“Speaking of, I heard you finally moved out of your parents place.” Licking your ice cream, Baekhyun has to look away or else these thoughts would creep up again. “I have. Want to come over after this? We can squeeze in a movie, and I borrowed something from Chanyeol the other day, so I can drop it off when I take you home.”

Bent over, reaching for the controller underneath the coffee table, Baekhyun swallows. His gaze drifts off to the ceiling, praying that you wouldn’t notice the boner he’s supporting right now. When did you grow up? He has to shake off the dirty things he’s imagining you doing right now.

“Here.” You slap the controller in the palm of his hand before adjusting your top. “Are you comfortable? Do you wanna borrow some of my clothes?” Lips jutting into a pout, you want to tell Baekhyung, yes, hell the fuck yes I want to wear your clothes and get out of this brutally uncomfortable skirt, but the words don’t leave you mouth and he can only smile. It’s like he reads your mind because he stands from the couch and enters into his room. Seconds later, he has a pair of sweats and a hoodie for you. Your favorite dynamic duo.

You’re barely 1/4th through the movie, Baekhyun’s arm around you with your head cuddled against his chest while wearing his clothes that smelled so good, smelled like him. This amount of comfort was never evident with any of your previous relationships, but something about Baekhyun made everything feel okay. Turning your head to look over at him, he’s breathing soundlessly as if he’s asleep, but his attention is all diverted to the television. His jawline looked tempting, skin smooth and soft, you bring your lips to kiss the bone.

He chuckles at the action, eyes down to meet with yours. “Yes?��

“Can I kiss you?”

“I should be the one asking you that.” He presses a chaste kiss on your lips before giving you one last look of confirmation. Crashing his lips onto yours, you welcomed him inside with your tongues knotting and sliding past one another, you hum against him. It sent a warmth feeling down your center and you wanted know if he felt it too. Pushing the blanket off your frame, you climb over his lap, swinging a leg over before pressing yourself down on him, his hands slowly making his way to your waist, hesitating as if he’s asking for permission. Hands forcing on his in invitation, he complies, pulling you close to his body.

He lets go of your lips, a lewd smack from your kiss separating. He’s panting like he’s just run a marathon, heart racing to the point that he’s afraid you can hear it. There’s a rush in him, excitement pumping through his veins and he’s never felt this before. You felt too much like home to him, and this was just the first date, how was he supposed to survive any more if you had him wrapped around his finger like this?

“I don’t want to go any further if you don’t want to. It’s our first date—Is it too soon?” He says, his voice meek and faint, the total opposite of how he usually is around you. Afraid he’d mess it up, afraid that everything that happened today wouldn’t happen again if he didn’t do it right.

“Please take me. I want you, Baek, I really do. I’ve been waiting for this since I met you when I was sixteen.” You sounded desperate, cheeks flushed in embarrassment of how intoxicated you were from his kisses. “Don’t make it sound like that, I’m sorry I made you wait this long.” He whispers before leaning back into the kiss, palm rubbing your hip soothingly before you begin to grind on him. The sight of you in his clothes brought the blood rushing straight into his pants that were starting to be uncomfortably tight.

Baekhyun made you feel like a princess that night—sprawled on his bed, arms wrapped around his neck while he peppered kisses constantly on your damp forehead, skins slapping as the headboard of the bed bangs against the wall. Soughing sweet nothings into your ears, nibbling on your lobes to help you reach your high, a hand reaching down to toy with your clit before your toes are curling, fingers digging into his shoulders while your climax was approaching. He had you in a trance, fully blissed out, and before you know it, you’re cumming, letting out your final moans and cries. It drag must’ve felt nice, because his hips are stuttering, losing it’s rhythm until he stills, long spurts of his cum splattering you walls.

He falls over, pulling you close and nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, gifting you a quick kiss on your sweaty skin. “Stay for the night?” You nod.

You end up staying more nights with him.

Your presence meant more to Baekhyun than you ever knew. Those rough days where he’s at the office, he loves coming back to his apartment, seeing you in his dark home with only the kitchen light illuminating on the granite island with your books spread out with your notes and music blasting from your computer. There were some nights where he’d be home late hours and you’re snuggled in blankets on the couch, the only brightness in the room is from the television, shining on your face in multiple colors with you completely engrossed with what’s playing. It was his favorite part of the day, the thing he looked forward to the most.

The night he knew that he couldn’t ever let you go was when he came home just in time because you were taking out a tray of something from the oven, apron wrapped around your frame with a surprised expression on your face. “Oh, you’re back?” You sound shocked, mostly because you told him you wouldn’t be here tonight but yet… there you were.

“Not that I don’t love having you around, but I thought you said you weren’t coming over today?” Baekhyun asks, dropping his jacket on one of the dining room chairs. “And what are you making?”

You scrunch up your nose. “Honestly, sorry baby, I wanted to use your oven. Then I felt bad for using your oven without telling you, so I baked you banana bread as well. Then I lost track of time and I’m supposed to deliver these cupcakes to Naeun for her lacrosse team bake sale tomorrow.” Baekhyun chortles in amusement, wrapping his arms around you from behind before pecking your lips. “All good, baby.”

He doesn’t even care that you came to his house without a warning. He’s glad you’re there—Baekhyun had the expectation that you weren’t going to be there that night, so the drive home was dreadful, but just catching you in the act of using his oven… nothing made him happier. He’s not letting you go.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You hiss, eyes darting at him. Pausing from stuffing your personal belongings into your duffle bag, regret washes over how much stuff you’ve accumulated here. His place had too much of your things and having this fight alone was bringing in a lot of realizations. How could you get comfortable so easily?

Baekhyun sighs, fingers running through those locks that you had always dreamed of having your own in, but at this state, you’re fuming with anger. “You’re only twenty-two and my best friend’s little sister. There’s so much to life you haven’t seen yet... I don’t think you’re mature enough for me.”

“I’m not mature enough for you?” Shaking your head, you continue to fill your bag. “Ridiculous. I’m twenty-two, Baekhyun, not sixteen. Need I remind you that you also wanted this? I’m also not the one talking to other women while you’re with me— with me! You said you liked me. But the entire time, you had someone in the back burner, ready to replace me when it’s time.”

He says your name with another exasperated breath, feeling speechless. He doesn’t get to feel frustrated, you think to yourself, not today, not in this situation. “I do like you. More than you think, actually. But do you ever think of what Chanyeol is going to say or how he’d react if he knew? I’m feeling guilty, extremely guilty. You’re not just his sister, but you’re his little sister, which means a lot more. He’s getting suspicious of me sneaking around with some girl he hasn’t heard about yet.”

You’re fuming. Little sister this, little sister that. Every conversation with Baekhyun always seemed to lead to that topic—how young you were, and how experienced he’d been in comparison. “Who fucking cares? He’s my brother, he doesn’t get a say in my relationships. And who is he to you that he can decide yours?”

“He’s my best friend, one that’s been around for me almost forever. I can’t just go behind his back and date his sister, let alone sleep with her.”

“Then let’s not make it complicated any more. I’m leaving.”

He freezes. Why’s he suddenly so shocked? He was watching you pack your bags seconds ago, yet it’s like reality only struck him in that moment. Baekhyun reaches to grasp onto your wrist and you push back. “Wait, you’re not actually leaving, are you?”

“What do you expect me to do? Stay? After the way you spoke to me? What about when you called me ignorant and inexperienced? Too young for you? Should I list more things why you can’t be with me and for some reason you want me to still stay?”

“I-I didn’t mean it like that,” He says, stuttering in his words. “I still have feelings for you, nonetheless.”

“That doesn’t mean shit, Baekhyun.” You pull from his hold, slinging the bag over your shoulder before storming out his apartment. “I have some pride and dignity. I can’t just stay with someone who looks and speaks of me so condescendingly.” He doesn’t stop following you though, door left open as he chases you down the flight of stairs. 

“Drive safe,” He says softly, watching your figure make way to your car that parks outside of the apartment complex, heart clenching at the sight of you walk away. “Please text me when you get home.”

“As if,” You scoff, aggressively opening the door. “Don’t expect to hear from me anymore, Baekhyun.”

He’s like every other guy you’ve ever dated, have ever been with. This guy—the one who you’ve always put on a pedestal and admired— wasn’t just a guy anymore, but rather any other one you’ve ever dated. He’d stolen your heart in your early years but in actuality, Byun Baekhyun was like any other boy. Disappointing and sleazy.

Respect and admiration, the two main characteristics you looked for in a man, and the one that you thought had them, didn’t end up having them. Tears were welling up into your eyes as you’re driving; sleeves too long that they cover your hands on the wheel, and you want nothing more than just to speed past these cars on the highway.

But you knew better than to let your emotions run wild. Yet the tears just don’t stop falling.

Age. Age was just a number. There were so many people that were the same age as you without the equivalent amount of experience as you held. Whether if it were more or less, the main point was evident: age didn’t matter. It’s what Baekhyun felt was a constant need to remind you when things weren’t working out or when it got tough. It had been frustrating. Maybe it was a good thing to have left. After all, what would it have been like if you had to tell your brother?

There’s constant dinging coming from your bag, and once the traffic begins to build up, you take your attention away for a brief moment to check it.

10 Missed Calls. 30 New Messages.

All from Baekhyun.

There’s an urge within you to want to call him back but you know better. If you heard his sweet, soothing voice over the phone, you’d unconsciously turn your car around and drive directly back to his apartment. It’s how it always was.

But from now on, it was different. You can’t put Baekhyun on a pedestal anymore, you can’t put him as this picture perfect guy for you. He wasn’t— he was human, and that was okay for you, more than just okay, but he proved at that very moment that maybe you weren’t right for him.

Another blind date.

You’ve been on countless of blind dates since you officially announced to your family that the guy you’ve been seeing wasn’t... well, you weren’t seeing him anymore. Because of this, your mom thinks that you’re bitter and lonely, fearing that you’ll never find someone. “You’re only twenty-two and can’t even keep a man? We have to start early while we still have time!” 

Luckily, Chanyeol tried backing you out of this one but there’s no argument against your mother. So he suggests doing the matching. You pray he’s not trying to get back at you for stealing the last yogurt cup in the fridge back in 2011.

Getting into your ‘lucky’ signature black mini dress was a bit harder than usual— you want to blame it on the relationship weight gain but you admit that your healthy habits have been lacking. After sucking in a deeper breath, the dress finally zips. Smoothing out the crevasses on the skirt of your attire, you give yourself a last check in the mirror before giving yourself a grin and a thumbs up. “OK, I got this.”

The door bell rings; assuming it’s your date, you quickly slide open your closet doors to find your heels until a familiar laugh perks up your ears. It’s none other than Baekhyun.

“You... look like you were standing by the door waiting for someone and I’m pretty sure I made this a surprise visit.” Peering out into the hallway, you can see his figure standing at the door frame, dressed in a hoodie, ripped jeans, and a trench coat... why does he make it so hard to hate him?

Chanyeol shakes his head, standing aside for his friend to enter. “Jongin is supposed to be here sometime soon.”

“Oh, you made plans with him?”

“Nah, setting him up with my sister. I’m free for the rest of the night. You tryna hang?” Baekhyun gives Chanyeol a dazed look of bewilderment. “You’re... setting up your sister with Kim Jongin?” He nods with his lips pursed, confident with his response that his friend seems to question uncertainly. “Yeah. My mom has been on her case lately about having a boyfriend since apparently the guy she was seeing dumped her. She thinks that little Park has some personality issues and it’s going to take some time before she meets someone. I figured I’d give her an easy date, at least Jongin isn’t a dick like the past few guys.”

Baekhyun feels queasy. Were you really moving on that quickly? It was barely a week since he’d last seen you and the visual of you walking away that night haunted his days. “How long ago since it’s been since she and the guy broke up? Couldn’t have been that long, right? Why are you guys already setting her up on dates so soon?”

Chanyeol shrugs his shoulders. “Not sure. Why’s it matter anyway? Jongin is a nice guy anyway and could use some stability in his life.”

“That guy rides a motorcycle and races almost every weekend. You think he’s good for your sister?” His tone spilled in flabbergast. “You don’t think he’s going to influence her?”

“She’s an adult, she can handle herself. I highly doubt he would be influencing her though, pretty sure she would more than likely be influencing him.” Baekhyun can agree to that— after all, he’d fallen victim to that. But he didn’t like the idea of you being with someone else and he definitely wasn’t a fan of seeing you look pretty for a guy like Jongin. “Well, what if I took her out on a date?” He suggests.

Chanyeol can only let out a laugh, leading Baekhyun into the living room. “Yeah right, don’t kid around, Baek. My mom is strict about her looking for suitors; we’re looking for serious inquiries only.”

The doorbell finally rings. “Oh! I think it’s for me— I’ll get it!” Baekhyun’s head pivots to see you rushing out of your room, slipping into your heels the last second with a black leather jacket folded over your arm. He feels the breath stolen from his lungs. 

“Oh. Hey Baekhyun,” You say, a weak smile upon your lips. “I got the door.” 

Standing at the door with a loose dress shirt tucked in his slacks, with a couple buttons undone; Jongin’s sun-kissed tan skin is exposed from underneath, hair slicked back in gel with a bright grin on his face. “Hey, pretty.” Voice deep and smooth, goosebumps appearing on your arms. “Hi.” 

“Jongin.” He startles you from behind, bumping you aside before giving his friend a handshake. “Taking little Park out? Per Chanyeol’s request?” Jongin only nods, and he doesn’t take his eyes off of you. “Yes, but... I did it willingly. After all, look how beautiful she looks.” Baekhyun snaps his fingers to regain his attention. “Where are you taking her?”

“Surprise.” He says nonchalantly, noting Baekhyun’s sudden possessiveness. “Where’s Yeol? Told him I’d say my goodbyes before I take her out tonight.” Saved by the presence of Chanyeol, you finally let go of the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Despite the height difference, Baekhyun was attempting to size up Jongin, although lacking a bit from the towering younger male. “Whoa, what’s going on here?”

“Nothing,” They both say in unison, but Chanyeol only chuckles at the sight of his two friends. “Well, thanks for doing this for me Jongin, I’m sure you made both mine and my sister’s night a little easier.”

“Well, drive safe when you go.” Baekhyun says through his gritted teeth. Words that were once so affectionate and caring now had a different meaning behind them.

Standing by the door with his arms crossed on his chest, Baekhyun scowls while Chanyeol leans against the frame. Jongin hands over to you the spare helmet on the backseat of his motorcycle (which by the way... hot) before hopping on. Settling comfortably behind him, he lifts up his arms and although Baekhyun can’t hear what Jongin’s saying, he already knows the words. Wrap your arms around me so you don’t fall off. Right on cue because your arms snake around his frame, gripping on as tight as Baekhyun’s jaw clenches.

The restaurant he takes you to is way out of your comfort zone.

There was a comment here and there from Chanyeol that Jongin was from old money, however there wasn’t much brought up after that. Where he brings you on your first date is evident of this; it’s lavishly decorated, dark lighting with a candle that illuminates just the table, freshly picked flowers from their own garden, linen tablecloths and napkins, and to top it off, a classical band plays in the corner. 

“Wow... after telling me to hop onto the back of your motorcycle, I really didn’t expect you to take me here.” He lets out a low snicker, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “A beautiful woman like you deserves a luxurious date as this.”

Jongin is a gentleman. He pulls out your chair for you, opens the car door for you, and when there’s goosebumps on your arm and you shiver at the cool air blowing down at you, he’s observant enough without you saying and asks the waiter to turn off the air.

“Baekhyun Hyung seems like have a thing for you, doesn’t he?”Jongin asks, picking up his knife to saw his steak. “I saw how... protective he was of you.”

“Eh, just an instinct. He and my brother are close, so I’m sure it rubbed off.” You lie. It’s easier to lie.

Jongin isn’t convinced. “No, I’m pretty sure he was giving me daggers with his eyes. Like... boyfriend daggers. As if I was stealing his girl or something.” 

“I’m not really anyone’s to claim,” You say, fork pushing your pasta around. This conversation wasn’t fun and you weren’t in the mood to be in it. After all, you were at this date because Baekhyun didn’t want to be yours in the first place. “Hence why we’re on this date, right? There’s no Baekhyun.”

But for the rest of the night, Jongin doesn’t let it go. He keeps bringing it up, as if Baekhyun is now his competitor and they’re both fighting for a mate. 

You call it a night. Saying that you might’ve eaten something bad during lunch and it wasn’t sitting well in your stomach. So much for an easy date.

“You look... really stressed out dude. Maybe we should go out for drinks tonight or something.” Chanyeol suggests, stirring the sugar in his iced coffee with the plastic straw. “What’s up with you?”

He can’t get you out of his mind. He can’t go to bars, clubs, restaurants... pretty much anywhere; he can’t go anywhere because everything reminds him of you. Baekhyun only agrees to meet up with Chanyeol because he doesn’t want to seem any more suspicious, but it seems that showing up didn’t do much of a difference either.

“Can I ask you something? And you not be mad about it?” Baekhyun blurts, leaning forward in his seat with his arms against the table.

“Uh, sure.” Chanyeol responds, brows furrowed in confusion. “I guess I can’t really control my anger if you’re asking something ridiculous, but shoot.”

“No, I really need you to not be upset about it.”

“... Uh, okay, then I guess continue.”

Baekhyun takes in a deep breath and exhales, so deep that it takes him a while to recover in order to continue the conversation. “I... Would be upset if I told you that I might have feelings for your sister?”

Chanyeol raises a brow. “... Do you really? You’re not joking, right? Because that’s some sick joke—”

“No? At least, I don’t think I am.” Baekhyun says quickly, shaking his head. “Just... can you stop setting her up with these other guys?” His best friend takes a sip of his drink, cringing at the taste before opening the lid to pour more sugar into it. “Okay, I won’t anymore. So what are you going to do now?”

“You— you’re not mad about it?”

Taking a sip of the coffee, he nods in content before closing the lid. “Well, yeah, why would I be mad?” He pauses for a moment, eyes gazing up at Baekhyun’s tired ones. “Wait... you’re not telling me that she’s the reason you’ve been so stressed out, are you? Dude, I sent her out with Jongin! What’d you do?”

“I... I don’t know.” He responds, still appalled by Chanyeol’s calmness surrounding the situation. “But we dated for a bit and I ruined it by telling her that you might not be as supportive about this.”

“Dude...” He clicks his tongue in disbelief. “Why didn’t you just tell me before? Did you already fuck up before it even really started?”

“What else am I supposed to do? What if you said no? Was I to pick between the girl I’m in love with and my best friend?”

“Baek, stop being difficult. She’s old enough to decide things herself. What do you think this is, the Medieval times? Women are capable of making their own decisions— even if she’s my baby sister and something in my stomach really wants to punch you for even laying your eyes on her, but I can’t do that.” Then, there’s a pause. “Did you say you love her?”

“Uh...” He sighs, standing up in his seat and gestures Baekhyun up as well. “Come on, let’s go fix this mess.”

Baekhyun declines, slouching. “I’ve already fucked it up to the point of no return. She blocked my number, doesn’t respond to texts— I couldn’t even come to your house this past week because I knew she would ignore me. I look like a crazed boyfriend with how much I’m trying here.”

“You are a crazed boyfriend, you literally fucked up your chances with her.”

“Which is why I think I should completely give up.”

Rubbing his face in his hands, Chanyeol frustratedly groans. “Honestly, if you’re going to give up so easily, maybe you don’t deserve her.” Baekhyun swallows, anxiously shaking his leg under the table. “What am I supposed to do? Stand outside her house until she has to come out?”

“Well, for one thing, you got her brother’s permission and acceptance of the two of you being together. Isn’t that something? Wasn’t that one of the reasons that stemmed from the conversation?”

Baekhyun grunts, hands furiously ruffling his hair. “It wasn’t only that. I called her immature, Yeol. I told her that she wasn’t mature enough for me.” His best friend stays silent for a moment, so quiet that you could almost hear him blink. “Do you really believe that?”

“Of course not. She’s the most mature twenty two year old I’ve ever met. She has most of her life together than I do, not including the fact that she has more self-assurance than I ever did at that age. But she doesn’t make me feel bad about it either; she wants me to bask in my childish behavior and be myself—“

“—stop talking and save it for her, will you?”

His palms are incredibly sweaty. Wiping the excess moisture on the fabric of his jeans, he tightens his jaw but follows with a deep inhale and exhale afterwards. “Why are you so nervous? I thought you said you liked her and were comfortable with her?” Chanyeol is shuffling through his pockets and filing through the many keys he has for the front door of your parents’ place before a familiar voice is heard behind the wooden material.

“I think it’s Yeol, Dad! I got it—“ The door swings open and the sight of you clenches Baekhyun’s chest.

You’re so pretty; so fucking goddamn pretty. Hair tied back in a loose bun, oversized grey hoodie and black shorts yet the simplest outfit has Baekhyun almost gasping for air. It makes the acidity in his stomach grumble— or his intestines in a knot; he’s not quite sure. One thing he was certain of was that knowing that he was the cause of your tired and sad eyes made his heart drop.

“Oh, hey Baekhyun.” That stung. He missed hearing you call him your baby. “You guys coming in?”

“I’m coming in. But you? Stay out here and talk to Baekhyun.” A blank expression on your face, you blink profusely. “Is everything okay?”

“Apparently not. Seemed like my friend is rather smitten with you. What’d you do? Drug his drink?”

“With what? You think I have to drug your friends to think I’m somewhat pretty?”

“No, I think you have to drug their drinks to get them to fall in love with you. He’s crazy now; I don’t think I want to be around him anymore. You keep him.” His words don’t have an underlying tone that you can pick out but he ends it off with a soft smile before patting your shoulder and walking into the house.

It’s just you and Baekhyun.

“Why’s he talking like that?” You say, ultimately shattering the glass of silence. “He’s acting like I have all his friends by a leash.”

“You have me by a leash.” It’s a quiet again. A heavy empty space of stillness settled over the two of you, thicker than the awkwardness and tension that had never been there before.

“Why are you—“

“You’re home early.” Baekhyun states the obvious, gathering enough courage to speak up. “Bad date?” Sucking in your cheeks, you’re tempted to tell him that it’s none of his business, yet you play along to his game anyway. “No... he was great. He just had a lot to offer when it came to money and I knew I couldn’t reciprocate nor live that life.” He nods as if this information was helpful, knowing that regardless of the turnout of the date, he would still be having this conversation.

“I told Yeol.” Your eyes widen; this is the most of a reaction he has gotten from you in a while and he admits that he misses it. “You what? Are you crazy? It was supposed to be meticulously planned—”

“He said he was okay with it.” Blinking blankly, you’re still hesitant about what to say next. “That... that doesn’t change where we left off.” Distressingly raking his hair with his fingers, he nods. “I know it doesn’t make up for any of the things I said but I still want another shot. I said it in the moment of panic— I had to pick between you and Chanyeol, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“So... what are you trying to say?”

“That what I said the other day, I didn’t mean it. I guess, calling you little Park like I’ve always done made it easy, knowing that I didn’t have to choose between my best friend and the girl I’ve been head over heels for. It gave me enough time to figure out what I wanted to do and... I just ended up ruining it for myself.”

You’re quiet the entire time, hands twiddling with the fabric of your hoodie. Unsure how to feel and uncertain of what to say, you just swallow any words that want to leave your mouth, not wanting to be too easy and let him back into your arms so easily. “Please, say something, say anything. I’m in love with you and honestly, I never thought I’d be in this position. All those girls I’ve dated—none of them made me feel in comparison to you.” His voice is wavering; you assume it’s from him being nervous.

“Baek, I don’t want to get hurt again.” You say softly, almost in a whisper. “You made me feel so stupid that day. I put you on this pedestal, I thought so highly of you—“

“Don’t do that,” He interrupts, stepping closer to you. “Don’t think so highly of me because I already broke your heart once. I made you wait so long and never realized your feelings for me. You’re the one that I should be putting on a pedestal.” Tears begin to well in your eyes again—Baekhyun’s the reason again, but it’s the opposite from before.

“I picked my nose before opening the door and wiped it on the doorknob before coming out because I knew Chanyeol was going to touch it. Are you sure about that?” He laughs, arms wrapping around your frame before pulling you against his chest. “Exactly what I looked for in a girlfriend. Someone who would torture my best friend.”

“I think I’m ready to move out.”

“Oh wow,” You say, slightly impressed. “You’re like what, 29? You probably should have your own place by now. Instead, you’ve been living at your parents’ house, trying to steal your sister’s last can of coke from the fridge. And you didn’t even bother to replace it!” Baekhyun chuckles at the siblings arguing, rubbing your back soothingly.

“Nobody asked you to drink so much of it. It’s bad for your heath.”

“You’re just saying that because you can’t handle my hits. You want me to be weaker.”

“Rightfully so.” He attacks back, sticking his tongue at you. “Man, ever since Baek started dating you, he won’t even stand by me anymore. I felt like I had more confidence knowing that he might back me up.” His friend shakes his head. “I never did though, I let you guys just fight.” Chanyeol groans. “Whatever. Anyway, I think I should look for a roommate temporarily before completely moving out on my own.”

Baekhyun sits up on the couch. “You could always come live with me, you know.” Your older brother scoffs, shaking his head. “Nah, not after you started dating my sister. I’m only half okay with this, I’m not sure how I’d feel hearing your bedpost banging on the wall.”

“What— why would you even bring that up!”

Chanyeol sighs disappointingly, leaning back. “Man, I miss when Baek used to date other girls. He’d talk about how wild some of them were, how his flings were… he lived the life I wanted to live—ouch! Did you just throw the controller at me?” He winces, rubbing his head. “What was that for?”

“Are you seriously talking about his past sexual encounters in front of me, you asshole?”

“Okay but Baek—“ Baekhyun raises his hands in defeat. “I don’t know if I’m cool with you bringing this up with my current girlfriend, dude.”

“This is a losing battle, isn’t it?”

[purplesurveys]

1414

survey by joybucket

Who do you know who makes the best French toast? I don’t really eat French toast all that often. The only one I’ve tried is my dad’s, and of course he makes amazing ones. I’d never actively ask him to make them though; sweet flavors on bread isn’t my thing.

What was the last thing you ate that had cheese on it? My mom fried cheesesticks for me this afternoon while I was working.

What is your favorite pizza parlor? We don’t have a lot of those here since most pizza places are fast food joints, but there is a nearby restaurant called Sundays that makes really good pizza. They have this five cheese bechamel variant that I order all the time.

Name three things you like about winter. I’ve never experienced winter but from what I’ve seen, I think I would really enjoy the snow, the darker sky, and being comfy in thick bulky clothes.

Is winter your favorite season? It is just because it’s always looked appealing to me. I could be wrong though!

Do you know anyone whose favorite season is winter, and if yes, who? I doubt it, barely anyone I know has experienced snow/winter.

What is the most frustrating thing that's happened to you recently? WORK. I want to fucking resign every fucking day lmao.

Are you happy today? Eh. I’m not overly happy, but I don’t feel heavy either. I’d count that as a win.

Who is someone you've been enjoying watching on YouTube recently? I just watch Good Mythical Morning or BTS clips made by various content creators these days.

What's your favorite song at the moment? I haven’t been listening to music lately, so I don’t have any.

Are your hands dry right now? Yep.

Do you own pajamas with llamas on them? Super random hahaha, but no.

Would you ever wear hot pink cat-eye glasses? Unless I have a reason to wear one, nah.

What is something you've been undecided about recently, if anything? Staying at my job. I’m pretty much set on leaving, but I do want to accomplish one or two big things as a manager first just so I can have something to be proud of once I do. We’ll see; I tend to never follow through on things I want to do hahaha.

How often do you use the toaster? We don’t even have one.

Have you ever made a dreamcatcher? I’ve never made one but I’ve owned a couple in the past.

If applicable, what color boombox did you have as a kid? I also didn’t have a boombox.

Would you rather dress up as a zombie or a unicorn for Halloween? Zombie. I was never a fan of the whole unicorn trend haha.

Who was the last of your friends to have a baby? None of my friends have had kids yet.

What's the most ridiculous thing you've heard lately? Just a bunch of fake news that always comes out of the political scene. Nothing really stands out at the moment.

Can you see snow out your window right now? No and I never will.

What are three of your favorite things to do when it snows? :/

Have you ever contemplated shaving your head, and if so, why? No, the thought has never occurred to me.

What types of cancer are in your family? I don’t know. We don’t like talking about cancer or at least my mom likes dodging the subject, so I’m not super aware of my family’s history with cancer or if we even have one to begin with.

What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing any socks at the moment.

Which cartoon character looks the most like you? Diane Nguyen.

Which family member did you get your height from? My mom.

Do you believe in the supernatural? Nope.

What color looks the worst on you? ORANGE. Brown and teal are also a little meh on me.

What year were you born? 1998.

Do you own a pair of plaid pants? Nopes but I wore a plaid skirt for years when I attended private school from kinder to high school.

Which TV channel did you watch the most as a kid? Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. I really only just watched Cartoon Network for Powerpuff Girls and Pokemon.

Who is your favorite cousin? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who is more like an older brother than a cousin to me and my siblings at this point. We grew up together soooo we’re super close to this day.

Do you prefer black tea, herbal tea, or green tea? No tea.

What do you think of hypnosis? Do you believe in it? Eh, not a believer.

What's your favorite fast food restaurant? KFC. Is Popeye’s a fast food restaurant? I’d count it as a favorite too.

What would a Lisa Frank version of you look like? Idk, don’t really care.

If you had to choose a country to live in besides your own, which country would you choose? Canada or New Zealand.

What's the most dangerous thing that's happened to you recently? Erm, nothing too crazy. I was out driving at like 1 AM last Sunday if that counts as dangerous.

What color ink did the last pen you wrote with have? Purple, I believe it was.

Have you ever had a friend with the same name as you? Nope. I’d be amazed if that happened; my name isn’t super super common.

Do you think you look better with long hair or short hair? Shorter, but not short.

What are three things you are thankful for? Having a home, always having something to eat, my friends.

What did the last mask you wore look like? Uh, a face mask haha. It was a pink BT21-themed face mask with all the characters on it.

Did you wear a mask today? Nah, I didn’t head out today so didn’t need to.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Nopes.

Do you ever find youtube's video recommendations annoying? Well not really. I have an account so the recommendations are usually set to my interests already.

Which did you have first: Myspace or Facebook? Myspace, even though I never used it.

What color was your nursery when you were a baby? I have no clue actually.

Do you prefer canoeing or kayaking? Kayaking.

When was the last time you went kayaking? The first and only time I’ve done it was back in 2015, when I was in Palawan.

Do you have anyone you can trust? Sure.

What color is/was the last carpet you sat on? Grey.

Do you have a rug in your room? Nope.

What was the name of the first college dorm you lived in? I’ve never stayed in a dorm.

[save-the-spiral]

PLS PLS LIST THE SWAPS!! TELL ME ABOUT THE SIBLINGS AND ALSO HIFUMI BECAUSE I LOVE HIM (IF YOU WANT!) I will also send more questions in the morning too, excited to see what you’ve been working on!!

OK OK OK !!!!! AHH! So, before assigning talents, I swapped the pools, so for the first game, I use the talents from the second game, and vis versa! For some i listed gender, sexuality, or neurodivergencies, though this isn’t all of them, and I haven’t developed them all to the same level!

This is SO long. I didn’t even bother mentioning things like my plans for the killing games. (I have DR1 planned out in full, but only parts of DR2 and the v3 anime)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SAW I HAD NEW ASK NOTIFS!!

LIST:

Trigger Happy Havoc (first game)

Kyoko Kirigiri- Ultimate Luckster- Mastermind (: Sometimes lesbians can be evil okay! was trained as a detective like everyone in her family and didn’t get the ultimate :) she’s definitely not mad about that :) her luck cycle depends on how far she plans things ahead. her good luck is when she’s spontaneous! She hates when ‘normal’ people are accepted by ultimates.

Makoto Naegi- Photographer (Mostly wildlife and nature photography, with Sayaka helping him for some animal photography (: trans and bi <3 One of sayaka’s birds nests in his hair like all the time)

Kiyotaka Ishimaru- Ultimate Swordsman (AUTISTIC ICON, has trained in kendo since he was a kid, then was essentially given away to the Fujisaki clan by his very stressed dad. Semiverbal, rarely speaks.)

Chihiro Fujisaki- Ultimate Yakuza (Taka is her bodyguard! His family is in debt to hers, the Fujisaki clan is the most powerful in Japan. trans icon, of course, dates Sayaka! Very direct, though she’s far more delicate and polite when talking to taka, her best friend)

Sakura Oogami- Ultimate Nurse (Works as an EMT- her clan still is in martial arts, so she’s still very buff, she assists in injuries at the family dojo. Autistic Icon)

Asahina Aoi- Ultimate Gamer (ULTIMATE ADHD. streams and has a ton of fun, will ramble while breaking records, demigirl who loves her girlfriend sakura :)

Mukuro Ikusaba- Ultimate Chef (Works best with ‘cheap’ food, and making them taste good. a byproduct of growing up on the streets with junko, and junko being bored of the same old food they dug out of the trash. now works closely with junko for her teams’ nutritional needs! autistic and sapphic.)

Junko Enoshima- Ultimate Team Manager (there are SO many sports she can never get bored, and the professional scene is always changing! prefers coaching womens’ teams, because being an ultimate brings them more publicity and usually higher pay :)

Mondo Oowada- Ultimate Prince (OH MY BOY. trans adhd icon. now the crown prince of Novoselic, with a reagent in his place until he comes of age. His service dog Chuck is a maltese and an absolute sweetheart. Chihiro takes him under her wing to teach leadership. also dates taka later OF COURSE, though they’re poly and I may add more ppl to their relationship later.)

Celestia Ludenburg- Ultimate Musician (specializes in violin, most strings, though she can play any instrument. grew up poor, dedicated herself to an instrument and persona to cope)

Byakuya Togami- Ultimate Musician (Yep. two musicians. two catty trans gay icons about to throw down. they HATE each other and grew up as rivals. specialize in classical, they literally tore a professional orchestra full of grown adults apart trying to make them side with who was the best musician. they’re so good that they’re matched, and Hope’s Peak accepts them as one student and combined ultimate. they room together. they fight. Literally if one of them gets expelled, the other does too, so they’re STUCK. eventually they become literally inseparable and insufferable together like the WORST siblings. I love them.)

Sayaka Maizono- Breeder (animal handler) (Specializes in birds!!!!!! has songbirds on her shoulders all the time. will give unsettling animal facts without realizing they’re unsettling. sends her songbirds to serenade chihiro when they start dating <3)

Yasuhiro Hagakure- Gymnast (you see this tall goof who acts like an older brother to everyone and wonder HOW he’s a gymnast. he’s completely different in competitions, though still lighthearted. becomes a big brother figure to mukuro and junko especially <3 also trans bc i say so.)

Leon Kuwata- Traditional Dancer (he just. kinda hates it. it takes SO much work and effort but he takes to it naturally. his cousin kanon is NOT like in canon, instead she’s helpful. he’d literally rather be doing anything else. doesn’t know how to do anything like... basic either. can’t cook. cant do his own laundry. everything was dedicated to traditional japanese dancing before he attended HPA.)

Toko Fukawa- Engineer (writes schematics and is very good at it. gets VERY upset when her plans go wrong. her notes are orderly and perfect. host for their system!)

Syo- Mechanic (a factive of genocider syo, NOT an actual killer. she’s a protector mainly, and also is more adept at hands on skills when it comes to fixing things, her hands are less shaky. Her notes are a disaster and she does it to spite Toko.)

Hifumi Yamada- (???) (reserve course) Protagonist! My BOY. HIFUMI IS GOOD OKAY. He’s autistic and loves anime and gaming! he’s not particularly ultimate-leveled at them, or anything else! Attending Hope’s Peak as a reserve course student! At one point he joins the student council as a reserve course representative even if he’s only a freshman :) He’s also a moderator in Hina’s livestream chat, under the username of JusticeHammer, fastest ban hammer this side of the internet. He's internet friends with hina and sakura, and doesn’t realize Oh We Go To the same SCHOOL until he bumps into them. and realizes hina doesnt know what he looks like. but sakura does. its hilarious. he’s aroace, and during the year they’re locked in HPA, is in a queer platonic partnership with Hina and Sakura, while they’re dating each other. it’s great.)

Goodbye Despair! (second game)

Peko Pekoyama- Lucky student (ohohoh. her luck relies on her conviction. if she has doubts her bad luck strikes HARD. trans!, was taken in by Fuyuhiko’s family when she was a baby, grew up as just another kid in the family. They all expected Fuyu to go off to HPA on his own and then BOOM acceptance letter)

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu- Programmer (He. gets so angry while coding. He has an array of rubber ducks to talk to and work through his coding issues with. trans of course. Very protective of Peko when people say she doesn’t have a ‘real’ ultimate. ADHD and Autistic)

Sonia Nevermind- Writer (Literary Girl) (Her family immigrated to Japan when she was young! She writes a lot of serial killer novels, murder mysteries and horror and all that! Trans and bi :)

Gundham Tanaka- Detective (YEAH my guy is a detective. still talks Like That. Trans and bi and he and Sonia were kinda-dating (t4t autistic power couple in the making) when things started happening. He spends some time with his cool older sister who he looks up to a LOT. He and Sonia talk through things together a lot, they both have those red string walls, one for murder cases, another for a fictional plot lmao.)

Mahiru Koizumi- Moral Compass (my GIRL. autistic. Her morals rely a lot on people taking responsibility and being reliable, and she ends up having to work through some biases she didn’t realize she had when she arrived at HPA. Is still protective of Hiyoko, though that protectiveness is spread a bit thinner to extend to the rest of the class.)

Hiyoko Saionji- Clairvoyant!!! (HI YES I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR DAYS. Has actual visions in dreams and when she suddenly faints, but doesn’t really realize they’re uhh Real Visions for a WHILE. uses her status as an ultimate clairvoyant to trick and bully kids when in school for a LONG time, though her homelife wasn’t great with her grandmother trying to find ways to make her visions more consistent. SHES ALSO 12 WHEN SHE JOINS THE 77TH CLASS. she’s just so advanced in academics and her ultimate is so interesting hope’s peak cant HELP but scout her early. she has SO many issues guys no one appreciates hiyoko enough, autistic gifted kid hiyoko my beloved.)

Akane Owari- Gambler (started gambling to help out her family and Got Good at it. is very very conscious of money and food like all the time. Runs the hope’s peak betting pools once she arrives. these ultimates bet on a lot of things. she ALWAYS wins. until she doesnt!!!)

Mikan Tsumiki- Martial Artist (ohhhh Mikan. Still anxious and clumsy (though not like THAT in canon) and literally no one looks at her and thinks Oh The ULTIMATE martial artist?? it isn’t until you see her in the ring that you understand. She started learning self defense as a kid because her (bad) parents essentially said she had to rely on and protect herself and no one else would help.)

Kazuichi Souda- Pop Idol (OH TRANS ICON? he’s nervous and paranoid about Everything still, though now it’s like. oh the entire world is always watching my every move this is Okay (: has the brightest neon album eras. he literally keeps up a like. weird chad persona when interacting with people because he’s masking how hard he’s constantly just internally screaming.)

Nagito Komaeda- Soldier (AHAHAH my mans got issues problems disorder he’s a messssss, this trans guy, this absolute gay. this boy leveled a city of thousands of people with his own hands and some bombs. Still has medical issues, but most of his like. treatments and medicine is hold hostage as long as he stays in line. believes the ends justify the means and anyone who dies to him is obviously weak, because look at him! he’s weak, but that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t have to be the strongest, he just has to be stronger than the weakest scum.)

Chiaki Nanami- Heir (OOF. Agender, uses any pronouns. Doesn’t really. enjoy being the heir. grew up with Byakuya in the same circles. she treats the economy and stock market and stuff like games. enjoys gaming but isn’t good at them. collects so many things. has halls full of collections. Her parents stopped controlling her once she was able to prove she had more money than them and could literally bankrupt them if she wanted.)

Hajime Hinata- Baseball Star (Chiaki’s best friend, his family was upper middle class until he hit it BIG as a baseball star. wants to do BIG things and wants to attend hope’s peak more than anything!! Doesn’t really think of baseball as his THING, just a means to an end! trans :)

Teruteru Hanamura- Biker Gang Leader (started with shaking down some jerks who didn’t pay their food and drink tabs at his mama’s restaurant. now he RUNS their tiny town. His siblings are essentially gang mascots, he works hard to keep them out of trouble (while bringing them to like. meetings where he ends up beating a dude almost to death. its fine). most of what he does it to get more money to keep the restaurant afloat and care for his mama with her health conditions.)

Nekomaru Nidai- Fashionista (the drama. the CHAOS. most people are like ohhh we can never understand this artistic genius when he’s literally just. vibing and has ADHD and a love for coffee. Works a lot on accessible clothing lines for disabled people! Also he and Kazuichi work together sometimes, Nekomaru is good at calming Kaz down and seeing like, the root of whatever problem and making it better. ALSO A TRANS ICON and just flaunts it.)

Imposter- In the hope’s peak days they are impersonating Ryota Mitarai, as a part of the 77th class. In the Killing Game they impersonate Mondo Oowada as the Ultimate Prince. They’re doin’ their best.

Ibuki Mioda- (???) (Izuru Kamakura) Protagonist! Gundham Tanaka’s older sister (though they’re in the same school year). Nonbinary and using just. an array of pronouns alongside she/her, and jokingly fights with gundham for neopronouns like MOM said it’s MY TURN on the rawrself pronouns. She attends the reserve course to stay at her brother’s side. She dresses loudly and acts even louder because !!! she wants to stand out!! in the middle of this drab reserve course hell!!  but when things go down, she wants to be someone, to be worthy of being her amazing brother’s big sister. so she accepts some offers.

NON-KILLING GAME:

Ryota Mitarai- Ultimate Analyst (stays in his room. He’s terrified of the outside world but fascinated by it. watches hope’s peak academy through security feeds, picking up on little details. he just wants to understand things but never looks at the big picture.)

Chisa Yukizome- Ultimate Boxer (Homeroom teacher!! She’s working really hard and believes in everyone! Some are intimidated by talent, but she’s never hurt anyone outside of the ring! Dating Kyosuke)

Juzo Sakakura- Ultimate Student Council President (Has anger issues, though his work at reigning them in assisted in becoming an Ultimate. Was responsible for security and the Hope’s Peak student council. Dating Kyosuke)

Kyosuke Munakata- Ultimate Housekeeper (Meticulous, works himself to the BONE even if he’s good enough to not have to do that. Is working on establishing another Hope’s Peak! Dating Chisa and Jozu!!!)

Seiko Kimura- Ultimate Blacksmith (GIVE MY GIRL KNIVES!! She’s an anxious gal, always wearing a facemask that filters the air in her forge because she has some respiratory problems. she prefers making more decorative pieces like an artist, but sometimes can create utilitarian pieces or tools to fit specific needs. Still a doormat)

Ruruka Ando- Ultimate Pharmacist (She constantly asks Seiko for new tools for her developments in medicine, saying its all for the advancement of humanity, so Seiko denying any request is SELFISH, though she never thinks to make anything for seiko’s health issues. Dating Izayoi. Specializes in medicine for mental health. Not Doing Great :)

Sonosuke Izayoi- Ultimate Confectioner (He loves sweets. LOVES them. Creates things that look plain, ordinary. but taste so GOOD you CRY and maybe ascend for a little bit. sometimes Ando makes cool new drugs to put in the sweets, who knows! It’s a mystery! He always has like. a huge refrigerated case of fresh cakes, and constantly has a lollipop in his own specialty recipe in his mouth.)

[shijiujun]

[History3: MODC] Ep 1-2 Summary - SOMEONE PROTECC XI GU PLS

Alright guys! I managed to make it home in time, and watched both episodes, but I guess I’m able to do a mini summary of sorts - But my verdict on the show is while the first two episodes seem a tad bit slow in terms of plot but there ARE NO GLARING PLOTHOLES THANK GOD and i gotta say I LOVE XI GU AND HAO TING AND BO XIANG AND ZHI GANG AND THE TWINS LMAO THEY ALL SO CUTE and surprisingly I like the main girl as well Si Yu although okay it kinda sucks that she’s going after Xi Gu while still attached to Hao Ting unless she was aiming for threesome but then no communication there and FRANKLY it might even be a love rectangle between Xi Gu - Hao Ting - Nintendo Switch - Si Yu lmao 

We start off with Hao Ting and gang (the fiercer twin, Gao Qun, Bo Xiang and the other guy whose name I still don’t know but he’s a Singaporean actor) in class and the Chinese teacher reading off abysmally low scores ranging like in the 30s and below out of a 100, and guess what our lovely main lead Hao Ting scores THIRTEEN OUT OF A HUNDRED

And okay you gotta give it to Hao Ting - He’s a little shit but he’s a CHARISMATIC little shit with a glib tongue, anyway the teacher yells at him for being not serious about graduating and his friends cheer him on and are just generally obnoxious, and then Hao Ting quips that this is about freedom yeah, and of course the teacher is like fuck you dumbass & threatens Hao Ting that if he dares to leave this class he doesn’t have to come back

Don’t ever dare and threaten your dumbass jocks in class cuz they hear a dare they gonna CARRY OUT THE DARE TEACHERS HAVE YOU NOT LEARNT ANYTHING - so Hao Ting leaps over a desk and runs out much to the cheers of his friends and everyone in class who get up and run to the windows and doors to watch him go - And then one of his friends yell at him to ask him to buy fried chicken early from the canteen I think

And then cut to the next scene - The gang at the courtyard/stage thingy and Gao Qun filmed the whole thing earlier and is showing to everyone while they eat fried chicken, and then Hao Ting demands for 300 NTD each from his friends, who refuse to pay lmao although Hao Ting digs into Bo Xiang’s pocket and digs out some coins and keeps them 

Then Hao Ting’s girlfriend pings him and he runs off

Cut to the infirmary, and HT’s shirt is half off as his girlfriend Si Yu is helping him to ice his shoulder and spray muscle relaxant on his back - She’s chiding him for being so reckless earlier and asking him not to do that again because she’ll be worried, and HT obviously soaks in the attention and TLC from her, and then they proceed to MAKE OUT

Pretty good makeout scene really, although idg why the camera angle had to show like her cleavage specifically like LMAO ARE U ALLOWED TO SHOW THE CLEAVAGE OF A TECHNICALLY UNDER-18 GIRL?!!! No idea, anyway, things get really heated up, but they’re interrupted

And XI GU makes his first appearance here!!! He’s taking a nap in the infirmary and is totally disturbed by these two horny teenagers, in any case SY and HT go out, although SY’s eyes are totally on XG as they leave - She’s curious about him

Then the infirmary doctor comes in, and obviously XG is like the apple of everyone’s eyes and I GET IT BECAUSE WHEN HE SMILES IT’S DEVASTATING - So the doctor is chiding him for not eating lunch (and if you read the character intro translation I did you’ll know it’s because XG is poor and he wants to save money, like that’s driving force behind all his actions for now at least) and because of that XG is obviously thin as fuck and pale like Edward Cullen - So doc tells him to take more care of himself and rest etc. etc.

And then side character 1 and side character 2 - SY’s friends, the girl (SC1) calls herself a fujoshi and is obviously a fan of XG and you’re a bit creepy but I get you girl, and then anw SY is asking SC1 about XG after she sees that XG is first in exams again, and SY gurl don’t two-time please

HT is DYING to buy a Switch, and after dinner with his fam, he tries to secretly ask him mom for money but the mom and sis totally gives him away and the dad threatens to hit him to see if ‘he’ll be more normal’ after that LMAO - and anw dad chases HT to the room but HT wins by shutting the room door and son and dad yell at one another through the door - But despite this u can see that they’re really close

Mom and sis settled on the couch eating fruits in the chaos - a MOOD

Then next day SY catches up to XG as he’s walking to (class? to lunch? idk?) and asks him to tutor her, and XG rejects her of course cuz he likes to study alone and he hates everyone else kinda but she insists and he refuses and then because they’re doing this on the stairs she slips and OF COURSE SMOL XG catches her and upstairs, the fiercer Xia twin videos it and them in that position

Fiercer Xia twin meets the rest of the gang on the rooftop but no one has much of a reaction to his news until he pulls out the video - HAO TING EATING REGARDLESS OF THE NEWS IS LIKE A BIG MOOD REALLY - the nicer Xia twin tries to speak up for XG because they’re like classmates, and then WHOA there’s a strange like almost-kiss moment as Xia En and Xia De like confront each other over that

HT finishes eating and goes confidently, “She won’t like him”

And then he goes to the infirmary wanting to take a nap right, and when he pulls open the curtain THERE XI GU IS ASLEEP AND THIS IS WHERE WE GET THE HAO TING FALLING ON XI GU ON THE BED SCENE FROM THE TRAILERS - And HT groans, “First he ruins my plans and then now he’s taken my bed”

HT reaches for a red pen from the table on the other side of Xi Gu’s bed and of course he falls and lands on the bed, and then XI GU WAKES UP AND HORRORRRRR

Doc comes in and reprimands HT for bullying/disturbing XG basically

And then I can’t remember where the scene is exactly but XG at some point goes to work at Zhi Gang’s soy milk store?!!! I think or cafe that sells soy milk lmao, and Zhi Gang asks if he’s eaten dinner, and XI GU SO CUTELY SMILES OMGGG and lies that he has, but obviously ZG already knows that XG is lying and already bought dinner for him, and also lets XG go home early out of consideration for XG’s studying schedule since he’s also studying to graduate this sem I think?!

Oh okay then before this scene, we have THIRSTY BO XIANG AT HIS COUSIN’S GYM WIPING THE EQUIPMENT AND ALSO TAKING SECRET PHOTOS OF ZHI GANG - His cousin catches him, makes a scene and he’s ZG’s personal trainer I think and when he lifts up ZG’s shirt to ‘check’ on his progress, wow, BX DROOLS OKAY

And then at some point, Si Yu ambushes XG in class and gets him to tutor her after school because he stays behind for two out of five days, and then the twins find out, so when the time comes, the fiercer twin bullies XG out of class, and SY is left disappointed 

HT basically begins to skip school and part time, and helps his mom to give out flyers in his neighbourhood to earn some extra money, and he also somehow cheats his mom by deliberately over-counting his daily part-time rate LMAO, but the sis does the math and outs him, and dad chases after him to try to hit him again but HT ain’t scared at all and they just play cat and mouse

And then the gang corners XG during lunch, bully him and basically makes him late HALF AN HOUR for class which has NEVER HAPPENED TO PERFECT ATTENDANCE AND ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE XI GU - He’s distressed because he needs a perfect attendance record and grades to get scholarship for university - So he’s fucking distressed, and the nicer twin at the back obviously sees it and he FEELS BAD and XG didn’t eat lunch again so he’s having gastric probably

End of the class XG begs the teacher not to record his tardiness because he really needs the scholarship, but the teacher is like everyone saw you come in so damn late, how can he like not put it on record? But when XG insists - white-lipped and shaking and all - teacher asks him to tell him why - and so XG tells him (which also doesn’t help him in terms of being bullied more by the gang when they find out)

So the gang ends up sweeping the corridor lmao

XG once again goes to work and kind-hearted LOVELY OPPA ZHI GANG gives him a bread again and asks him to go home early to study CRIES WHERE IS MY DADDY LONG LEGS

and BX probably because of his punishment, is unable to go to the gym for a while, but ZG asks the cousin where BX is

End of episode 2 shows BX on his bicycle cursing his cousin out for making him go all the way out to like... find a soy milk store, and GUESS WHAT SOY MILK STORE BELONGS TO HANDSOME ZHI GANG OKAY

Oh yeah and then he sees his lovely oppa in store helping XG to straighten out his collar and then he gets jelly

and the next day he confronts XG and pushes him against the wall and THE EPISODE ENDS HERE LIKE STOP DIS BULLYING

THOUGHTS ON THE SHOW:

This is pretty damn cute so far i have to admit, and I PROMISE YOU ONE OF THESE EPISODES, XI GU IS GONNA FAINT FROM HUNGER OR ILLNESS AND THEN EVERYONE FINDS OUT HOW POOR HE IS AND HAO TING CARRIES HIM TO THE INFIRMARY AND THEN BULLY GANG REGRETS BEING SO MEAN TO HIM

And for now, it seems like Si Yu may actually be supportive when she finds out that HT has taken an interest in XG - More on that in the next trailer I think, because somehow HT will mess up and XG ends up losing his first place on the exams and walks away dejectedly as HT regrets being a fucking idiot

And also at some point Zhi Gang will see Bo Xiang having fun with another girl on the streets and be all pissed and jelly and withdraw, and then HT tells BX to please go apologise and get him back, which BX attempts to do - CRIES HANDSOME OPPA IS DEFINITELY ZHI GANG OKAY

***

For @decadentdeerpolice <3

[jinniesmeow]

good evening. this is a very long rant. if you’ve been tagged in this, it means I have a message for you :’) it’s at the bottom of the post, and that’s the most important part, so dear mutuals, feel free to just go read that part and don’t feel forced to read all that bullcrap I've written. thank you if you do, thank you if you don’t. 

if we’re not mutuals and you’re reading this, well I guess thank you because this is hella long and cliché af. I'm sorry to everyone for this. though it kinda has nothing to do with what I'm saying, I was feeling particularly gay tonight and I'm in my feelings right now so yeah. if you’re willing to read, just click, you know how that works. 

first of all, hello. thank you if you’re reading this, whether we’re mutuals or not, this isn’t a private post so if you’re reading this, hello to you, I hope you’re having a wonderful night or day and I guess sorry for what you’re about to read if it’s considered TMI. I don’t know everyone on here so I'll start with the basics. I’m zia, aka users jinniesmeow, yunholy, hwangitzy and very recently yuzukhei. I'm (almost) 19, and in case you didn’t know, I'm French. and Italian, fortunately or not, idk. 100% European and white anyway, and my ancestors were all 100% racist and homophobic (I mean Poland and Italy? come on.). My sister, who’s turning 23 this year (she’s not on Tumblr), and myself are the first generation in my family to be queer on whichever side of it it is you’re looking at. 

Indeed, (if you didn’t know somehow, now you do) both her and I are pansexual. thankfully, our mom is far from being homophobic and racist and she’s a very open minded person, like really. neither of us have ever had a coming out, and none of us plan on doing it. I totally understand the necessity for some people to come out to their relatives and all that, but here’s why I personally refuse to do it: I don’t get why I have to tell people I'm not straight. I think it only fuels the fact that being straight is seen as the norm, because do straight people ever announce they are straight? exactly. being queer (gay, lesbian, pan, ace, whatever) is not abnormal, it’s not unnatural, so I refuse to have to scream it to everyone, and I don’t mean by that that I'm trying to hide my queerness, because I'm very open and honest about it, and I always have been. I hope one day, we won’t need to come out anymore and that people will stop assuming our sexuality. until then, I'll let people get flustered whenever I imply that I'm not straight without having ever stated it clearly before because fuck that shit. 

anygays. so, like I said, I've always been very open and honest about my romantic and sexual orientation. I know lots of bi/pan people “realise” they are queer when they’re a bit older, during their teenage years or early adulthood, but (un)fortunately I am not one of those. I have literally always known I liked girls too (in the first place, I mean). actually, I’ve always thought attraction and romance were about the person, like, I mean it was an evidence to me ever since I was a child, and how can I explain that I got slapped in the face when I discovered that it was not a universal thing, that it was not “the truth”. so there I was, in the middle of elementary school, openly saying I liked girls in front of everyone because I thought it was normal. I mean, it is, but you get what I mean. 

on top of that, the term “pansexual” has been occulted and invalidated for years, and most people didn’t even know of it until like maybe 3 years ago. remember, I'm 19, and there I was in middle school at 13 years old telling people I was pansexual when they’d barely even heard of bisexuality (while everyone else was like ‘I'm straight!! ew the gays’ btw). honestly, I cannot count how many times I've been called a pedophile, a necrophile and zoophile. by my very own friends, yes. 

same with high school, but I'm not going to repeat myself. just for the precision: no, I have never been physically or mentally bullied for that, however, I was mocked a lot because of how tall I am (I was 1m73/5′7 at 14) and because I can be quite androgynous since I don’t have big boobs. I have large hips though, so those fucking males didn’t miss the chance to pick on me for that too. obviously though if I've never been full on bullied it’s because: 1. I've always had friends and I've never been a ‘loner nerd’, 2. I was tall and intimidating, 3. I was respected for my intelligence and grades and wasn’t being full of myself about being a top student, and 4. because I was neither fat nor a person of colour, obviously, and those are privileges I'm very aware of. I have still been called a ‘woman with a dick’ and other transphobic shit and was often treated as if I were a boy, though. 

I still identify as a girl. I have been so, so complexed about so many things about my physical appearance for so long, I can’t count how many hours I have spent looking at my naked reflection in the mirror, feeling disgusted, wishing I had bigger boobs and that I would “look more like a girl” and so on. how much I have hated my body is something I can’t even measure. as of today, I've realised there is no such thing as “looking like a girl” and I've made a lot of progress on liking my overall appearance and accepting my body, sometimes I even think I'm hot™ and definitely think men don’t deserve me but for some fucking reason I can’t choose my sexuality (crazy right) and I still am attracted both romantically and sexually to them :/ 

anyways. now you know how long I've known that I'm a pansexual and throughout all these years, every time someone talked about the community or when pride came, no one mentioned us pansexuals, and I've seen us being invalidated so many times I really started doubting myself. I was like, “it’s like being bisexual, I'm just being butthurt and pushing it too far” but at the same time I never stopped calling myself pansexual. to some people, it’s just a preference in the choice of words to say you’re bi or pan, but to me there is a difference, even if it’s the smallest ever, and yes. being bi and being pan are “basically the same thing” and both orientations are very close but that very difference means everything to me. I am attracted to people, romantically and sexually, regardless of their gender. that is exactly it. and it’s very important to me.

I'm sorry if this is a mess, it’s hard to say things in the right order when I have so much to say, but I'm going to go back to what I was saying in the beginning about my family. I talked about my mom. my parents have been separated since I was 6 and haven’t spoken to each other in like 12 years btw. so, as for my dad, I know he wouldn’t care. he’s not homophobic, not racist. he does say homophobic and racist things sometimes, without realising it, like a lot of people do, and that doesn’t make him a homophobe. I know he doesn’t care if I'm gay, and I feel good just knowing that. however, remember, my family is italian. everyone around us is 100% straight (except for my cousins, I'm pretty sure one of them is bi-curious and the other is ace, but they aren’t open about this at all and have probably never questioned their sexuality lmao) and then there are my sister and I in the middle of it, and we’re like “yup, we’re the gay cousins”. the italian side of my family is huge. like really, my father has a total of 24 cousins (and I don’t mean the little ones and all that, I mean first degree cousins), so imagine how many of us there are in total when you’re counting everyone’s kids, spouses, grandkids and great-grandkids (you read that well, some of his cousins are old, some are even deceased). and they’re italian. and 100% into their religious set of mind that has them believe their god forbids being gay and that we’ll burn in hell. whatever, would’ve been going there anyway, gay or not so it’s not like I care, all the more reasons to be a fag. 

and yes I have proof they are racist and homophobic, I've heard the things they’ve said. so, I, whomst has had depression for basically all her life and also has every existing form of anxiety there is, don’t exactly feel comfortable around these people. and on top of being gay, I listen to “Ching Chong music”!!! how do I have to put into words that I know exactly what they think of me? I even have blue hair now so like, blending in even less than before. so yeah. 

to add on to that feeling of worthlessness, when I entered high school, I was still a top student without doing any type of work whatsoever, but then depression got the best of me (like for real this time how am I even still alive tbh) and I fell so hard I could barely stand going to school anymore. my last two years of high school (it lasts 3 years in France) have been disastrous. I barely attended and could barely manage keeping my grades above average, because I had zeros on 99% of my homework since I never did it. still had good enough grades on tests though, and it saved my ass. 

honestly, I don’t even want to talk about these years and how I was feeling, because it’s still too fresh for me and I'm stil trying (yes, trying) to heal from it. I can say without a doubt that they were some of the worst years of my life though. however final exams came and my ass managed to get a really good grade without revising anything, this way I could send a big, huge, fuck off to my teachers who had been shitting in my face for years and making me feel like the hugest shit on earth. I hope they choke on their jealousy. then I went to uni for about three months, where I majored in English, but eventually decided to stop because I couldn’t go a day without having a panic attack on the train, because I still couldn’t get my ass to do any work, because I was bored out of my mind and just when I had started feeling better after leaving high school I was sinking further down. I spent months staying home without seeing anyone but my mom and doing nothing but watching Netflix (the French catalogue isn’t as interesting as the American one btw). then, I finally found the guts to go see a therapist. not gonna say it was a mistake, but I'm glad I stopped because this bitch was just here to take my money. I took antidepressants for a few months, and I have stopped really recently, actually. in all honesty, I have gotten much better, thanks to my own doing, I've worked so hard on getting better and I'm proud of how far I've come. 

today, I can finally say for the first time ever in my life that I am proud of who I am. 

the whole point of saying all of this shit you have (maybe) read is not because I want people to give attention to me or anything like, I don’t want pity or anything and truly don’t think there are any reasons for people to feel any pity towards me. I'm saying this because I want to thank the people around me for just existing, for supporting me, for making me feel validated. because you might not realise it, but (a lot of) you are often talking about your problems, and it makes me realise that I'm not the only one feeling this kind of way. it makes me realise there are people who might understand me, even just a little. and when I see you talking about your sexual/romantic orientation (or lack of so) it also makes me feel accepted. I see you guys reblog such validating things, and then some of you even have pride flags in your layouts, and you have no idea how my heart feels about it. if you weren’t aware, I'm a twitter person. I've spent so much time on there, I have met lots of people, lots of which are part of the community and openly supporting it, and yet I have never felt more validated than since I've been on here. 

I've also met the people I consider “the most” as my internet best friends on here, like my best best internet friends, if that makes sense lmao, and not actually on twitter (although I might be pushing it because I have actually gone from IVL to IRL with most of them so like... whatever.) point is: I have met amazing friends I'm so thankful for on here. and all the people I see in my dash, to all of you, thanks for everything too even if we don’t really talk and if we haven’t had actual discussions before. now if you want to, you can always come to me to talk about whatever the fuck you want. 

so, here, I want to thank all of you, because today I'm finally starting to think maybe, just maybe, that I want to keep on living and that good things might happen to me. I have no plans for the future, since I never imagined myself getting this far in life, but I'm still willing to give it a try. 

please, if after you’re reading this, you’re thinking about telling me cliché things about staying strong and all that, I'm going to ask you not to do it. it just feels like pity to me. or choose your words wisely, I'm begging you, because I can’t stand thinking anyone would pity me. please don’t feel like that, that’s not the point of this.

I'm doing this as a thank you, and as a message to everyone out there who’s read this. I hope my words mean something to you. maybe help you? it’s ok to be confused about who you are. it’s ok not to like yourself, it takes so much work to get better and all that, but just know that you can do it, it is possible to do it. it takes time, it will hurt, but it’s an option. it’s not impossible. 

now. I have some people I want to send a quick message to. I guess some of you will be surprised, but just read what I have to say please, and know that from the bottom of my heart, I mean it.

@hwangwhatjin Emily. I don’t even know where to start, and soon I won’t even be able to see what I'm typing anymore because the tears I've been fighting while writing all this crap have started flowing all of a sudden the second I typed your name. you’re the first friend I made on here. we started off nothing, and I was a no one, and yet you still talked to me and all that. you’re honestly one of the most tolerant and kind people I have ever met in my life. you’re the exact opposite of prejudiced, you’re so open minded, so not giving a shit about other people’s quirks (I mean it in the right way) that don’t concern you directly, like people are who they are and you don’t give a damn about it, it’s amazing. I know this doesn’t sound like a compliment, but I can’t find the right way to put this. you’ve also always been there to listen to me whenever I wanted you to, and you have never judged me once. you have no idea how thankful I am for having you in my life. I wouldn’t want to have anyone else hold the title of bro. I love you so, so much, and I'm sorry we haven’t been talking lately. I hope I can help you just like you’ve helped me and support you as much as you need me to in the future, and I want you to know I'll always be there for you, I'll never let you down. you have no idea how much I can’t wait to meet you so I can wrap you in a blanket and give you hot chocolate while I light up a gingerbread scented candle (yes, I remember) and put on some blink-182 and stroke your hair because it’s what you deserve. you’re one of my best friends, like ever, and it’s such a pain we’re so far from each other, fuck this damn channel. one day I'll just swim to you to hear your wonderful accent you say you hate so much. anything to see you. I'm sorry I'm so old, I wish it were less of a problem, but as you grow up this gap will be less and less of an obstacle, so let’s just be patient, yeah? I love you, bro. roach bros to the end of the line.

@pikachulein Laura. ok. where do I start and how do I stop my eyes from sweating so much. you know, I'm just gonna say it. in my opinion, soulmates aren’t the people we’re especially meant to be with in a romantic way, and we might even have several of them. I just think they’re people who just bring you so much, and people who are like another version of you, but different. kind of like I described in my Felix au, actually. when I call you my soulmate, I really mean it, because I'd never thought I'd meet someone who understands me so well because they relate so much, someone who basically shares the same mind because hell, when have we ever had different thoughts on something like... it will never cease to amaze me. it’s only been a few months since we’ve known each other, but I actually think you’re one of my closest friends. hell, on the day we meet, because I'm not taking no for an answer, I don’t even know how I'll be holding up like, I won’t know how to act. so in advance, I'm sorry if I'm so weird at first. you’ve listened to the story of my whole life and you’ve shared your experience back, and you have no idea how thankful I am for that. maybe you haven’t realised, but you’ve been of a huge help to me. thank you for being so understanding, for not judging me, for being so open about everything with me, thank god I have someone with whom I can talk about literally any subject without it feeling uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. I have so many things to say I can’t even find the words, honestly. I’m just so thankful that you exist and that I have you in my life, and that you actually like me as a person too. thanks so much. you’re my best bitch, together we’re the baddest bitches of the pan squad and I can’t wait to travel across Europe with you for real. the world ain’t ready for us. 

@hanniesunshine Isabel. you’re just the biggest ray of sunshine ever. everything about you is so pure I'm even scared to be one of the people you talk to because I feel like you don’t deserve to talk to me (I mean like you deserve much better than me) and that I'm way too filthy for you. you’re always so good and kind to me, so, so supportive, and I can’t even thank you enough for that. honestly, every time I see you somewhere, kakaotalk, WhatsApp, Tumblr, I just can’t help but smile because you’re the purest and brightest being the earth has ever seen and I can’t believe you would actually want to talk to someone like me. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for being such a cold bitch (and for using this word) sometimes, and for almost never finding the right words. thanks for always being so eager about reading my content. I'll keep supporting you, and I'll do better in everything!! I love you, so, so much. I'll always be there for you if you need me or want me. 

@sleepyracha Marie. I'm so, so sorry I'm so inconsistent and that I don’t talk to you as much as I used to, I hope we’re still okay. I just want to thank you for being the open minded person you’ve shown me you are and for supporting me all the time, and for very interesting conversations about literally anything. I promise I'm learning Spanish and that soon we’ll be able to talk together in another language than English. I hope you’re doing well and that you know I'm always there for you, and if Tumblr isn’t the best place for you, tell me where you want me to be for you. congrats on passing this year, you’re someone amazing and you’re so chill, it feels so good to see someone like that. thank you for even talking to me in the first place, thank you so much and I love you. 

@lesbianbias Nina. you’re such a soft and pure person, I'm so glad you were my skz anon and that I got to meet a wonderful person like you. you’re always showering me with love, and I always feel like I don’t deserve it. thanks so much for all the support, please, please never change. I love you and you’re amazing. thank you for being so chill as well. I'll make sure I'll return that love to you. 

@xiaocity siya. thank you so much for listening to me, you know what I'm referring to. I know you’re one of those who really deeply understands me and I'm thankful we got to talk, even just a bit. I'm always there if you need me, thank you for supporting me and my works, and be more confident in your writing, it’s good!! I think we actually have a lot in common too, so if you ever feel like talking, feel free to drop by in my dms.

@littlefallenrebel Sophie. we haven’t talked that much, but I feel like we should talk more. we have a lot more in common than we think, I'm sure of it. thank you for being you, thank you for the messages you’ve been spreading with your posts and reblogs. you’re an amazing person and I'm happy you’re my mutual because you’re a truly good person. 

@visualgiggles sam. thank you for your reblogs, whatever they’re about they never fail to cheer me up, whether they’re about tolerance or just memes, even the latter help me regain faith in humanity. we haven’t talked that much but I would gladly talk some more with you if you ever wanted to. you’re a wonderful person and I'm thankful you’re my mutual. 

@dreamypansexual I don’t think we’ve ever talked, I'm not even sure I know your name so I don’t want to say something wrong. but that doesn’t matter, because you’re still one of the people who make me feel the most validated here. hell, you literally have a pan flag as your layout (your user... I mean yeah). your posts are always making me feel so much better because it proves me that there are still such tolerant and open people out there, so thank you. 

@cloudyyboii honestly, I think it’s kind of the same as with your friend right above between me and you. it doesn’t matter though, thanks for the validation and the tolerance you’re spreading around. love you. 

@jxsng Kylie. I don’t think we’ve ever had a private conversation, but whatever. you’ve shown me lots of supports in every other way and you’re such a sweet and open person, I'm thankful you’re my mutual. I feel small next to people like you because I feel like you hold the whole world in your hands, you’re one of those meant to go places and it shows. I'll always support you too. thank you for everything and I love you.

@ggukksrose shims. you’re definitely one of the people who make me feel validated the most, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I always see you sticking up for others and telling the haters to go fuck off, and you even did that with me. you’re an amazing person, and I admire you for the confidence you’ve managed to achieve and I wish you the best in the future, I hope you’ll only get better and better with your fights and if anyone ever messes with you I'll be throwing hands. just say the word. I love you. 

@cypher-yngi Emerson, am I wrong? we’ve never talked though we’ve been mutuals for so long. from what I've seen, we have a lot in common and I'd be more than ok to have even a simple conversation with you, even if you said Orangina was good. you’re also one of those who have helped me feel valid and realise I'm not alone in this world, so if you’re ever feeling alone, and if you want to, let’s be alone together, maybe? gotta love FOB. also, you have amazing music taste. and you're a fellow yoongi stan, and that itself says a lot about the kind of person you are. thanks for existing and I love you.

@wonwonbebe ah... have you ever told me what your name was? I have terrible memory. doesn’t really matter. I love you, I'm so thankful that you were my anon and can’t believe you actually went through all that just to talk to me. you have no idea how thankful I am. you’re a wonderful person, and I'm so, so happy to see that my mutuals are all so amazing and tolerant. thanks for all the positivity. 

@psycho-robin-chan robin, right? we’ve talked a bit before. if you read what’s above, you’ll probably find some parts a bit familiar, haha. I actually loved this conversation with you, if that makes sense? it’s always interesting and it feels good to let it out. I also like seeing I'm not alone, and I like to think that when I speak about such things with people I might also be helping them feel better. so thanks, you also make me feel valid with your posts and reblogs, and you’re such a tolerant and open and chill person at such a young age. never change anything! thanks for being here and supporting me. 

@mirohell sage! we haven’t been mutuals for long, and I'm not expecting you to read everything I've written, it’s ok if you don’t, really. I just wanted to thank you real quick because you’re already showing me lots of support and I feel like we’ll be getting along well. if you want to read this, I'm sorry for putting so much on your shoulders so quick lmao, you’ll basically be knowing so much about me without having asked for anything. feel free not to read it, I'm repeating myself again but really, the actual important part of this post is this one where I thank you all individually. so thank you!! I'll do my best in supporting you in the future as well, and not only by showing your edits some love haha

@theminho min! we haven’t been mutuals for long either, but thank you for caring about me. thanks for even just following me. thanks for this message you’ve sent, it means a lot really. you don’t have to read all that I've written above either,, don’t feel pressured, I just wanted to thank you personally too for just being here and for the support. feel free to come talk to me whenever you want (if you ever want) and I'll be supporting you always!! 

@justlovingkpop my sweetheart, you’re just too cute and so supportive and loving. thank you so, so much for everything and for coming to talk to me!! I'll go reread some of your work soon to because I've missed it. thanks for existing, and know that I'm always there for you. love you lots. 

@strawb-milk-tea my babyyyy I'm going to repeat it but thank you and I love you and you’re so cute and you’re NOT a potato ok, you’re so, so pretty like I knew I was gay but phew... I feel valid too when I see you. long live the gays. 

@five-pence hey there! it’s been a while. hope you’re doing well. thank you for supporting me, thank you for making me feel valid as well, and I love you very much. I'm here whenever. 

@jooheonenthusiast yo. we’ve basically only talked bc of that one post I made, and it’s been enough to show me that you’re an amazing person and a bad bitch. thanks for your support and fuck the homophobes. I love you. 

@marriael adellum. you’re a really kind person. you’re so pure. and you make me me feel very much valid, love your profile pics from the last days by the way. thanks for existing and I'm glad you’ve joined us on the network, it’s a pleasure to have someone like you around. hope I'm not too much of a pain in the ass. 

@channiiebby gryphon. we’ve never talked privately, but you’re a sweetheart. thanks for being you. you’re valid and you know it, and that makes me feel valid too, so thanks for showing me it’s okay to be who you are. I love you.

that’s it. I'm out of words. I've been at this for like 2 hours now. if I think of anyone else, I'll just reblog and add them. but right now I feel totally empty because of all the emotion hive poured into all this and I need to recharge, so good night and I love you all. thank you for your time and attention. 

happy pride month everyone,

your friendly neighbourhood pansexual, zia. 

[mcsochists]

*record scratch* *freeze frame* yep, that’s me. VJNOKM i’m noelle, i’m twenty1, my timezone is est, i use she/her pronouns & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. read this .. “ intro ” i whipped up in half an hour. anywhen! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord NVJOF. MOVING ON.. 

freya’s pinterest board(s): here!

content warning: neglect, alcohol, drugs

freya lockhart has been a medina complex resident for seven years, now. they’re twenty-two years old, and they tend to find a way to turn every conversation into an argument. sometimes when i walk by F24, i hear suncity by khalid playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty magnetic, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re callous. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here. the distorted and desaturated world on the other side of a rainy window pane, detatched glances cast from bleary and bloodshot eyes & fuzzy and distorted recollections of the night before.

right off the bat i want u to know that i’m illiterate

anyways, freya was born & raised in east la w/ her parents and a plethora of extended family/family friends less than a block away. money was Always tight, but the one thing they never really had to worry about was safety bc her dad was a gang leader in their area ( tho it was only rly seen as a gang by the police & the few people in their neighborhood who weren’t colombian lmao ). her dad, saul puentes was like the big man on campus around where they lived, but people liked to rail him for marrying a gringa. ‘we were in love’ is the story he liked to tell, but they were polar opposites — his main focus had always been keeping himself and his family safe, no matter the cost. she, on the other hand, wanted a life she could brag to her friends and colleagues about. clearly, there were some warring factors there.

things were.. how u say.. Tense for the first handful of years of freya’s life, though she thought the entire world of her papa ( saw him as a kinda Hero, especially w/ the way most people deferred to him ). like she’d known her parents weren’t exactly In Love with each other but she just figured that was how all adults acted ( leaving her Uninterested in being married from a young age lmao ).

it was when her dad got arrested that changed things. at first they figured it would blow over & he’d be home in no time, but as evidence kept stacking up, it became less and less likely that he’d be released ( freya was like 8 at the time ). freya’s mom, completely strung out and Over It at this point, packed her and freya’s things & tried to move them out, but freya was uhh Not Having It, like at all, so some of her extended family took her in when her mom gave up trying to fight freya into the cab ( honestly, her mom is a self-centered bitch with no regard for anyone but herself, but i digress )

in the years following, freya continued to visit her dad in prison, always parting with the same promise of freeing him one day ( his bail was set at some outrageous sum, so she’s literally been saving forever ). being so focused on that goal & completely disinterested in going to college, freya dropped right out of high school as soon as she turned 16 and moved into the medina apartments so she wasn’t freeloading off her dad’s friends anymore. when she leased the apt, she did so under her mother’s maiden name cos it’s better to be safe than sorry & bc her dad also had a lot of enemies lmao lbr

being a mechanic hadnt ever crossed her mind as something she’d be good at & even less something she’d enjoy. when she was fifteen, though, one of her cousins ( think, like, 5th cousins lmao ) offered to let her work at his garage instead of having to wait tables at a shitty diner or, even worse, babysit. at first she wasn’t too thrilled about it & it felt like she’d never get the hang of it, but with time, she found she really enjoyed the work, especially the reward of hearing the engine rumble when you start it up for the first time. she didn’t fall in love with it, though, until the charger. her cousin had the shell of a ‘69 dodge charger & told her that if she could fix it up, she could keep it. WELL, the next 4 years of scavenging and looting for parts eventually paid off, leaving her with a love for cars & the envy of muscled white guys everywhere.

a part of her life she’s much more public about, tho, is how much she loves to party. now, according to her, [shrek vc] parties have layers. there are the dull parties, where it’s frowned upon to drink more than champagne, there are club parties where it’s more dancing and drinking than doing hard drugs ( fun, but not the best ) & there’s the house party in which both alcohol and drugs are always available ( her personal favorite ). it doesnt stop there tho bc there are also layers to house parties! the absolute best kind of party, in her opinion, are valley parties. sure, there’s bound to be stuck up rich people with sticks so far up their asses they can’t bend to tie their shoes, but valley parties also have the best selection of top shelf liquor & entire rooms dedicated to doing lines. those parties are the absolute peak, in her opinion & she will never pass up an opportunity to attend.

personality wise .. well, let’s just say she doesn’t really have one ? unless you count being completely bitter and cynical about everything as a personality.. she’s very very short tempered and will not hesitate to make a scene if the need arises ( she loves to argue! loves to shout! so im sorry to all her neighbors! ). literally disagrees with everyone on everything for the hell of it and is the most stubborn personal alive. when her mind is made up u will absolutely never be able to change it so i mean good luck if u wanna try! adding on to the bitter thing.. she p much has it out for anyone who even thinks of lording themself over her ( @ her mom ) and pretending to be better than anyone else so she’d highkey start a fight with little to no provocation

im trying to think of other things that should be included on here but ? i cant vnjcomk feel free to ask me anything specific & hmu if u wanna plot!!

[sevensity]

RFA * V* Saeran overhearing their female s/o on the phone telling another boy she loves them but it's actually just one of the s/o's family members ?

hey it’s been like five years but I finally wrote it and I’m sorryI had no idea what to do for Baehee >.

I love how they get progressively long as you go have fun reading

YOOᔕᑌᑎG:

·        You’re playing LOLOL together when suddenly you get a phone call,and pause the game while you answer

·        Yoosung’s doing some quick character customization while yourconversation goes on, but he’s getting the feeling that you’re talking toanother man

·        And someone close to your age, at that

·        He’s been working hard at controlling his jealousy, but it’s sodifficult, especially now that you’re speaking such gentle words, your pretty eyessoft and twinkling

·        Who is it you’re talking to that would warrant such anexpression? Such words that spoke of warmth and tender love?

·        Yeah so it was impossible for Yoosung to keep his switch off

·        Can you stabsomeone through the phone? How can I perform simple voodoo? became hisnewest google searches

·        “Take care of yourself, I’ll come see you soon, I love you!” you hang up with a wistful sigh.

·        “The old geezer went and fell down the stairs…again…honestly heneeds to be more careful.”

·        “Old…geezer?” Yoosung asks tentatively, slowly putting his phonedown

·        “Yeah, my grandfather went and broke up hip by tripping on astep. Luckily he didn’t fall a whole flight, but still, at his age….”

·        Yoosung discreetly closes his ‘Voodoo for Beginners’ tab andcoughs lightly

·        “Right well, let’s continue our match, shall we? I’ll crush you!Ha-ha, I’m kidding?”

·        The battle begins once more, you having already forgotten aboutthe phone call, but somewhere in Yoosung’s mind, he’s thinking about the webpage he’d closed

·        Maybe it wouldbe useful to look through

·        For futurereferences…

ᘔEᑎ:

·        Y’all are rehearsing some lines

·        or taking selfies

·        or working out

·        or trying to summon Satan idk but your phone rings and youexcuse yourself from your current activity  to answer it

·        lmao though imagine you actually summon Satan and he’s trying totake your soul or smthing but then you’re like ok hold up my dude I got a phonecall the delivery guy might have gotten lost and Satan is just left standingthere like ??? do I get food too or

·        anyways hi hello it’s your /actual/ father calling about thefamily reunion on Saturday

·        Zen’s sneaking glances your way because what’s with this sweettone of yours

·        is i T A mE m Be R of Th eOpPOSi t E SE x????????

·        basically he’s trying to listen to the voice on the other end ofthe line but being sneaky about it

·        we all know that ‘subtlety’ is not part of Hyun Ryu’svocabulary, let alone life skills

·        so he’s basally draped himself over you  like some sort offallen tree trunk

·        im good at analogies alright

·        you’re trying to focus on the call but at the same time Zen whatthe flippity fuck are you doing you’re making me have to pee

·        he’s already suspicious but when you hang up with acheery “love ya daddy!” Zen malfunctions and doesn’t know whether to cryor yell

·        “Who was that why do you love that person was it a guy wh-”

·        “Zen, chill that was my dad.”

·        :0

·        :000000

·        you can see him dying a bit inside because  oh no I got jealous over her F A THER??????

·        but then Zen is Suddenly Inspired 

·        “Hey,” he whispers in a sultry voice, his lips pressed againstyour ear, “how about you call me daddy too?”

ᒍᑌᗰIᑎ:

·        contrary to popular belief, Jumin is actually cool with youtalking to other dudes

·        as long as it’s strictly professional, that is

·        he’s never heard you talk to your family before, so heisn’t aware just how close you allare

·        the both of you are attending a meeting, and during the coffeebreak you receive a call

·        ‘Jongin’ is the caller’s name, which Jumin manages to catch aglimpse of flashing across your phone’s screen before you deftly answer thecall

·        “Yeah? Hello!” you say,  before excusing yourself from theroom

·        Jumin is left wondering whether he should follow you or justignore it

·        but there’s just something about the delicate shift in your tone that puts him ill at ease

·        because you should only be speaking to him that way

·        side note I reallllllly want to see some yandere Jumin but notlike weird prison guard Jumin but actual Yoosung level yandere

·        alas, the meeting starts again, yet you don’t return to the room

·        he hears you giggle occasionally from the hallway, but tries notto focus on it too much because the meeting is about the future of C&R’scat projects and therefore of uttermost importance

·        needless to say, his mind is quite preoccupied

·        one of the chairmen asks him “What do you believe would bethe total production cost for this particular plan?” 

·        Jumin answers with a distracted “Oh, no I rather do like red wine with my pasta.”

·         basically he’s really not himself what’s gotten into himhe’s usually an unstoppable force in meetings but now???

-         the meeting is adjourned, and he rushes out the door

·        as soon as he spots you in he hallway, he’s marching straighttowards you, reaching for your arm right when you say “Okay bye! I’llsee you tomorrow, love you!”

·        “What’s this about loving who now?” Jumin hisses, his hand closing lightly, but firmly, around your wrist

·        “It’s me telling a family member that I care about them?” yousay, confused as to why he’s reacting in such a way

·        “You - what? family member?”

·        Yeah, that was my uncle. We usually go shopping together everyfew weeks, and we’re due to go again tomorrow.”

·        Jumin’s emotions quiet down in an instant, however his heart isstill running rampant like a wild beast in his chest

·        he slides his fingers down to envelop your hand, and gentlyrests his forehead atop yours

·        “Please, my love, don’t scare my like that again, you are myone, my everything…”

·        you’re getting ready to whisper your own cheesy loving sentence, but hecontinues

·        “Also you should bring your uncle shopping in this building. Wehave over 200 different stores, and maybe he would be willing to lead our catcampaign-”

·        you poke his stomach

·        “You are not bringing myuncle into this cat thing…but if you want, you can tag along and comeshopping with us.”

·        he agrees, which is a bad idea

·        cuz you and your uncle tag team him

·        and he ends up wearing some sort of cat/maid outfit that showsskin in just the right places

·        yeah but it’s a good buy

·        Jumin actually wears it around the penthouse

·        Driver Kim once saw him in it 

·        “The young master has rather particular interests….”

·        lowkey approves and wants one himself

ᔕᗩEYOᑌᑎG:

·        mmmmmmkay well honestly he’s heard you say “I love you” toseveral people already, but he doesn’t get jealous because you’re always showering him with your affection

·        but he’s had one of his bad days, old emotions and thoughts andinsecurities are already chasing each other in his mind

·        so it isn’t helping him much when he can just tell you’re talking to another boy

·        terrible thoughts swarm his head, and he cannot stop fretting about all the bad things that could possibly be happening

·        What if he hadn’t been looking enough into things?  What ifhe’s being played? Are you going around behind his back? Betraying him?

·        but for every one of these thoughts, he  lashes out athimself, thinking things along the lines of don’t I trust her? Do I reallythink she’s that bad a person? She’s given me all this love, would she reallyjust abandom me like that?

·        Or maybe now I’m reading too much into things?

·        “Alright, bye Kyungsoo, I love you!”

·        He winces, not wanting to face you, afraid that the bile in histhroat will lead him to say harsh things

·        “What’s wrong, Saeyoung?”

·        “Who…” he croaks, a faint pain etched across his face, “Whowere you talking to?”

·        “Oh that? It was my brother!”

·        “You…your…ah.”

·        “Is something the matter?”

·        “No, I’m just a huge idiotis all.”

·        “Now tell me something I don’t know,” you say with a sly smile,wrapping your arms around his waist, “you might be the world’s biggest idiot,but at the very least, you’re myidiot.”

·        Saeyoung instinctively returns the embrace, holding you tightagainst his chest. “Likewise.”

ᐯ:

·        oh my hea RT lmao what heart haha I just roasted myself

·        y’all are just chillin’, looking through his pictures when youget a phone call

·        V is fine with you talking on the phone right beside him, so youanswer right there

·        Heck, you could even be riding the shit out of him and he’d stillbe chill with you calling your friend

·        MC orders pizza while getting laid lolololol

·        He gets momentarily nervous, though, when he hears a deepervoice on the other end of the line

·        But V, he tells himself, don’t discriminate maybeit’s a girl with a deeper voice you never know

·        “Who is that?” V mouths, just to be safe

·        “Oh, he’s just –” you start to say before you getcut off by the person you’re talking to

·        a b OY?!

·        “Okay! I love you!” you say before hanging up

·        V’s all ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

·        it takes him a moment to calm down, at which point he’sconvinced himself that you’re moving on, which is fine, because he’s not goodenough for you he wasn’t good enough for Rika you’ll be happier without himyou–

·        “V you’re turning blue I don’t think you’re breathing.”

·        He inhales sharply and looks at you with tears in his eyes

·        it makes sense, he concludes, trying to hold backthe waterworks

·        “You should have told me sooner,” he says softly

·        “Told you what?”

·        “That you’ve…found someone else.”

·        seriously V I thought I jumped to conclusions toofast but you really take the cake

·        you just stare at him, then look at the phone in your hand, thenback at V

·        whoops

·        “Sweetheart no that was my cousin!”

·        V just blanches

·        I am horrible how dare I get jealous so easily and I thought shewas in love with another family member what am I –

·        “V if you stop breathing like that you’ll actually die.”

·        without a word, V reaches over to you and pulls you into hischest

·        there’s a strange elation sensation inside his body, and herealizes that he had unconsciously been so stressed, a knot of worry had formedin the pit of his stomach

·        his worry is replaced by a realization

·        the realization that

·        he’s not okay with you leaving him after all

ᔕᗩEᖇᗩᑎ:

·        He ain’t taking none of that shit

·        the moment he hears you say “Hi!” in such a sweetvoice because MC you’re only supposed to talk like that with me h o w dare you, he practically launches himself at your phone and does awicked somersault landing

·        Where did he go?

·        Surely not inside the kitchen cabinets

·        oh

·        but there he is

·        crouching between cereal boxes and jars of tomato sauce,just emanating dark waves of furious doom

·        They’re so tangible for a second you worry they might stain thewalls

·        “She’s mine,” he hisses into the receiver, “and I’m notgonna let you lay a single hand on her.”

·        “Well…” the voice answers, “that’s fine and all but I’m herbrother so we do occasionally hug sometimes.”

·        Saeran had already prepared a nasty comeback, but he wasn’texpecting the call to be from your family

·        “Ah uh, okay bye,” he grunts instead  in an awkward manner,before promptly hanging up

·        “Um…Saeran…I kinda really needed to talk to him though…”

·        He whips his gaze towards you

·        “The….” he chokes, his eyes wide 

·        “Huh???”

·        “The what???? Hug?????” hefinally whispers, seeming if not a bit panicked by the thought such a thing existing

·        you stare at each other blankly for a brief minute before youdouble up in laughter because

·        a) he looks like a startled, edgy cat b) he’s in your fucking kitchen cabinets and c) the what??? hug??? wassomething you never thought would come out of his mouth

·        but he gets so sour about you laughing at him that he refuses toleave his perch for the next two hours

·        #spends the whole time thinking about you hugging him

·        *cue the blushies*

·        wants to try this ‘hugging’ ordeal

[thejrock88-blog]

8 DISCUSSION POST

Shrek discussion post    

First off Shrek is one of my favorite movies of all times from DreamWorks. In class, I didn’t know that Shrek was a book and was later made into a movie in. What was interesting to me that I learned in class was that the meaning of” Shrek” (in Yiddish) meant “Fear/fright” was a post-modern parody (making fun of Disney). Anywho this movie is beyond funny I didn’t understand the jokes when I was a kid but best believe I did catch them in movie night. My all-time favorite movie parts of the movie, of course, are the intro to the movie it’s a classic it makes fun of the classic Disney “intro” with the storybook and the “once upon” theme but instead, he rips out a page in the book and starts laughing. The next scene that tickled me is when Lord Farquaad wants to find a wife and he has the talking mirror, that scene reminded me of the price is right and(copies snow white with the mirror) he has the chance to pick from three of the Disney princesses and what gets every time is when he asked the mirror “mirror mirror on the wall is this, not the most perfect kingdom of them all? “uhhhh Thelonious ““punches the mirror (lmfaooo I always die because of this scene I don’t know why it’s just super funny. Lastly, when Princess Fiona has her kick-ass scene (Disney would never OK!) that scene sticks out like a glove because never in a million years do you ever see a princess beat up men in the woods. (THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY TED TALK ENJOY)

HARRY POTTER THE SORCERER’S STONE DISCUSSION POST  

I just want to say that Harry had the “Hard knock life “(WIZARD EDITION”) the intro was mad dramatic (shows wizard tricks oweeee).  SIDEBAR (I didn’t even know that a woman (J.K Rowling) made the Harry Potter’s series that’s super cool. Back to my discussion out of all places why would they put them with this sick ass family (which unfortunately relate to him) honestly I feel like they were so salty cause they were regular ass hell no powers no wizard cool stuff just a basic muggle family. Just imagine having no powers what so ever at the family functions (sad asf wouldn’t even attend). The whole “child slave was a big NO! Child abuse at its finest he couldn't even sleep with his fat spoiled cousin (he really sleeping in that small corner wowwwww of the house like a dog) who is annoying big ass baby. I was happy when Harry found his gang gang.  Nobody is going to address this well I am Ron Weasley was THE BEYONCE OF THE GROUP I SAID WHAT I SAID. Let me elaborate on what I mean by Ron is funny asf he doesn’t try hard to be funny because he is naturally funny, Ron sticks out (looks wise he’s a redhead I think redheads are cool like hello you have red hair you’re not basic). He brings the flair to the group because Harry has a lot on his plate and on the other hand, you have Hermione the “goody to shoe” (save the good girl act for class sweetie loosen up) she can do no wrong all in all the trio balances out. What surprises me is the classic cliché that the hero gets the girl is a NO because Ron does and he’s the SIDEKICK (like I said he’s the Beyoncé hello we stan. (THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY TED TALK ENJOY).  

ACCOMPANIED BY WOLVES DISCUSSION POST  

This by far is the most twisted and funny 80s scary thriller movie I ever saw never heard of it so I was a bit skeptical about this movie and I was interested.  Listen WAS PURE COMEDY OK! I tried to take it seriously but me being me the movie was most definitely 80s MATERIAL. Let’s chat about the relationship with the wife and the husband (the wolf). My thing is my dude just walked out the house because his wolf homies were calling and he dead ass left his wife (for some year) didn’t even return in a week it was some YEARS. Boom sis had about 3 kids looking tired. Fast forward to that boy with the missing tooth. LMFAO I WANT TO HAVE THAT MUCH CONFIDENCE IN MY LIFE TO STUNT ON A GIRL WITH A MISSING FRONT TOOTH (takes some balls to do that). The grandma gave me creepy vibes when she said she deserves a kiss for telling her granddaughter a story (inserts a meme shocking confused face) uhhhhhhh ok (Jaquelin's voice). The way the wolf killed the granny was beyond dramatic (in a funny way). I’ll give granny props how she defended herself one good time. SIDEBAR the wolf was prissy he wasn't a rough wolf) anyways back to him killing her the fact that he knocks her head off CLEAN AND HER HEAD SHATTERED (IN SLOW-MO LMFAO) LIKE A PLATE took me off I couldn’t hold it in class. In conclusion, the best part of the movie was THE WOLF TRANSFORMATION very much 80s (thank god for growth in SPECIAL EFFECTS).  The way he tore his face (taking 5 years later) was time-consuming and all the fake blood to make that scene scary SIDEBAR the wife could have run and defended herself I guess she was in shock lmfaoo lol ANYWAYS ( THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY TED TALK) SIDEBAR 9THIS MOVIE MADE ME CRINGE A LOT.......

CRIMSON PEAK DISCUSSION POST  

The crimson peak was by far the best adaption of Bluebeard (I SAID WHAT I SAID). Edith and her ruffles going to bed I know she was hot I don’t know if that was a trend back then but......KILL IT everybody who wore that ruffle drip needs to go to jail like you're literally going to bed in a whole outfit (I know y’ all was hot asf). Locke lol I mean Sir Thomas honestly his role in Marvel sticks to him I always see him as Locke in my head. Edith my good sis you were head over heels for this man. For what reason I have no clue but for you to get embarrassed at the party SIDEBAR (I was laughing at that scene she looked so hurt).  OK let’s get to the elephants in the room 1. THE HOUSE before I get married or even go to a man’s house, I need to see how you are living PERIOD sis was oblivious and blind to the bullshit, BLOOD OOZING OUT THE WALLS RED FLAG the house was in the middle of Nowhere (reminds me of courage the cowardly dog) the house literally had a huge hole in the roof  (like I said blind to the bullshit) everything was old, rusty, bloody tired, beat down, in disarray, (I guess the love was so strong she look past it LMFAO couldn’t be me). My thing was if the damn ghost wasn’t so ghostly and graphic, she would have caught on to the warning signs (but of course she didn’t). Next elephant INSIST like really your own brother I was SHOOK OK like Ewww sweetie lol your siblings are supposed to be UGLY to you in your eyes. Lastly, I love how (sarcastically speaking) she still loved him in the end when he literally made your life a living hell with the help of his nasty sister. I guess love wins in the end after all huh. (I would neverrrrr) Anyways (THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY TED TALK)

Jane Eyre Discussion Post  

Jane Eyre was the second-best adaption of Bluebeard even though it was a gothic romance it still had a hint of humor (which was funny asf) which I loved because men think they're so slick.  Too bad Jane gets played in this movie (inserts tear emoji). Jane endures the same bs family abuse just like Harry Potter minus the wizard magic her situation was a bit more intense because she gets sent to a charter school and continues to get abused. SIDEBAR The opening scene where she gets knocked in her head was a bit hardcore for my eyeballs. SIDEBAR I’m tired of Mia Wasikowska playing these sad roles making her have the hard knock life but it fits her in a weird way I couldn’t imagine her playing a non “my life sucks type of movie or like a thriller mystery type” Anywhoooo SIDEBAR the fact that Jane was mad young and Rochester is old as dirt baffles me (they like them young back in the old days ) I guess age ant nothing but a number hummmm... uhhhh okay (Jaquelin's voice). Rochester refers to Janes as “fairy” “pale little elf “first off, I cringe (gag reflex sound ugghhh) I wouldn’t feel comfortable at all like CAN YOU NOT. The little French girl (Adele) that dance her heart out for Jane and the old lady looks unbothered from her performance took me out and singing at the same time in the movie I'm sorry but I died laughing watching that scene because   The scene that puts he is icing on the cake is the wedding scene one her dress was ugly and she was too petite for that dress two the way Rochester wanted to marry her in a hurry took me out she’s literally out of breath with this vail on her face gasping for air THE WEDDING WAS RUSHED AND A DISASTER.

Beauty and the Beast Discussion Post  

Beauty by far had the brains and the beauty out of all the classic Disney princesses. Beauty and the beast skip the intro with the cliché book once upon a time theme (THANK GOD). The only thing that sucks with Disney IS THE SINGING I skip through them (FAITHFULLY) I can live without the musicals.  I love how beauty had her own mind in the movie in her town they thought she was “ODD” because she loved to read SIDEBAR lol, I never thought it was weird to have a brain and be smart (YIKESSS)  Men valued no brains Beauty was beyond the standard girl back in those days anywhoooo also, I love how she wasn’t chasing after a man the men were chasing her but she was very much uninterested. I don’t know if anybody catch it or not but I did when the dad was on horseback and he had to decide which way to go left or right and one side was dark gloomy and spooky while the other one was a normal path SIDEBAR lmao the horse shook his head down like I know he going to pick the wrong way if only animals could talk, and of course he chooses the dark gloomy path people just want the hard life (insert shrug shoulders emoji). I don’t anybody else caught this, but Belle and the beast were coming through with the looks FOR DINNER in the castle (lmfaoo she had a whole outfit just for dinner and it was only them to eating) same for the beast he looks fresh.

Moulin Rouge Discussion Post

The show must go on! I was a bit confused about this movie because it was a mess a lot was going on at first, the first thing that pops into my head “Lady Marmalade” with Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Mya, and Pink.  What stands out to me was the vivid colors the costumes and the famous soundtrack that was used in this film (which was bomb asf) what was so random to me was the “Green fairy part” she reminded me of a raunchy tinker bell (cringe) SIDEBAR fun fact Ozzy Osbourne  is credited as the voice of the green fairy I thought that was cool  I honestly don’t know what was the reason for that part to display how drunk they were from the absynthe SIDEBAR I was completely lost with this movie bare with me.  It was never a dull moment in this movie LITERALLY, my favorite performance was “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best friend all eyes were on her (AS IT SHOULD BE WHEN YOU’RE THE STAR). SIDEBAR I don’t know why but Satine always remind me of Christina Aguilera.  She had the crowd on their knees with the MONEY. During this performance I can see where the trouble starts to brew the MISCOMMUNICATION, Harold tried to “SECURE THE BAG” WITH THE DUKE while John whispering into Christian ear about meeting his dream girl Satine. The saddest part in the story was when we saw she was coughing up blood, passing out and she still chose to perform (THE SHOW MUST GO ON.)

HERCULES DISCUSSION POST    

Truth be told I never really watch Hercules (yeah, I know I'm weird) I really didn’t care for Hercules I'm not a Disney fan, But I got the opportunity to see it in class and it was a decent movie all in all. Is it just me or Hercules FEET WAS HUGE like his body proportion didn’t equal out at all? The Hades in this movie is funny, sarcastic and NOT mean he was just a PG type of hades (LOL THAT WAS CUTE DISNEY TO WATER HIM DOWN TO DISNEY STANDARDS FOR THE KIDS). Hade was amusing to watch in the show when we get to see him. Another thing I noticed was the advertisement endorsement scene I instantly think of the crazy Shrek phase when Shrek was on everything at the grocery store. Dreamworks is really on Disney's necks the opening scene to Hercules had A GOSPEL SONG SUNG BY BLACK WOMEN (DISNEY WOULD NEVER). I’m pretty sure Disney was shook and most likely PUNCHING THE AIR (lol). When that scene came, of course, I had goosebumps the soul in their voice lifted the storyline to a thousand. The Mount Olympus scene tickled me when baby Hercules took Zeus lightning bolt and put it in his mouth and shock himself was funny to me as well. SIDEBAR when Hade's losses his shit is so funny to me it’s like I can relate to him more than any character on the movie he was my favorite. Honestly, his do boys need to quit they legit had one job and THEY FAILED.

[ddcjas]

because i’m already crying and raja obviously has no filter when it comes to putting her personal life on blast, i’ll just vent here

so to set a preface, for graduation, we have a limited number of tickets. it started out with six, then magically bumped up to seven. woohoo, blessings. so my immediate family (mom, dad, siblings) are going, and my two grandmothers are going. i was lucky we got that extra ticket when we did, because i have a cousin coming as well.

now, here’s where i’ve been upset and crying all day. my grandmother on my father’s side lives in new york, is coming by train tomorrow on an eight hour ride to come see me graduate. she comes down here for EVERYTHING and definitely puts us (her grandkids) as a priority. she even came to my sister’s college graduation when fucking nobody else did. now, my grandmother on my mother’s side lives literally an hour away and guess what the fuck i find out from my mom today??? :-)

my nana (and pretty much everyone on my mom’s side minus my fav cousin evr) has made ZERO efforts to come out and see us for as long as i can remember. like, she comes for my brother’s birthday and my sister’s high school graduation but other than that, she doesn’t come just to come. she rarely calls us, other than my mom. but she’ll come to my city to go spend time with her friend or with a child my cousin adopted a while ago and has no blood relation to us whatsoever. all of them wait hand and foot on children and people who are not their family and do not love or care for them, but never us. so my nana is on the phone with my mom and apparently the entire conversation, my nana insinuated she had no way of coming to my graduation. my mother OFFERED HER SUGGESTIONS (drive herself instead of asking my uncle to, dropping my uncle off at a friend’s house for the two hours it takes for the ceremony to finish, drive my aunt’s car instead, etc.) and my nana shot down literally all the ideas lmao.

so why have i been crying? because my own grandmother isn’t even TRYING to come. she keeps saying how she isn’t comfortable driving herself, how my uncle has to work and how its somehow my fault for being unable to get any more tickets for him to attend the graduation and how my aunt may not let her borrow her car to come SEE HER GRANDDAUGHTER GRADUATE. meanwhile, i have plenty of friends who wish to come see me. i have a whole romantic interest/boyfriend who wants to come see me. i have a grandma AND A PREGNANT FUCKING COUSIN COMING EIGHT HOURS JUST TO COME SEE ME. but she won’t make an eight hour drive to see me.

hell, i feel like if i even were to ask any of you to come to my graduation, you guys would at least make an effort to come see me. so for you guys to message me and say how proud you all are of me and the well wishes and mentions of my accomplishments, that shit means SO MUCH to me and i love you guys so much for it. like, i physically want to come hug each and every one of you cause that shit stays with me. everything you guys tell me stays with me. all the times i’ve had successes outside of RP and even having you guys there for me when a piece of shit decided to break my damn heart, you guys have always been there and that shit means so much. so thank you guys for always telling me these things when i need to hear them, seriously. i’m listening and i love you guys so much.

[oahumyheart]

death and funerals bring families together. ive learned that over the years. and each year that we attend either or both i notice how old everyone is getting. and with death comes babies being born. i mean just last year and 4 months of this year 6 new babies. the circle of life. 

i like my moms side of the family more than my dads. they’re fucking real, none of this fake jesus bullshit that my dads side has. im closer to my cousins on my moms side. the Rangel side is filled with blunt , real ass people lmao! like we legit will tell it like it is and not sugar coat anything. and my dad whispered to me “now i see where you get it from” hahaa yesterday was aunt coco’s funeral so we all attended. legit everyone of my family and cousins and kids and aunts and their husbands/wives. and it was so badass we all rolled up as one mob. 

so my abuelita had 4 daughters, my nana, nora, coco, mary. and the 4 daughters had children, and their children had children and some of the grandchildren had children lol. big family tree.  my nana and papa both have passed so now my 2 tias and mom are head of the family. just our family took up 4 church piews lmao. 

when it came time for the burial we all crowded around and mourned together. each of us taking turns to throw dirt and flowers as they were lowering her into the ground. i noticed that we were all sepearted by families. so our family stayed together, then next to steve was the begginning of marys family, then normas then next to me was cocos. i only remember cuz savannah held my hand a view times when she got too emotional. 

my nanas cousin jesse presided over the ceremonies. while giving his speech he shared some family stories . so him and my nana and her sisters are first cousins, meaning my nanas dad and his dad were brothers. which i never knew! he explainined that he hes been a pastor since 1976 and since then he has presided over everyones funerals :( his uncles, his aunts, his parents, his cousins. UGH i cried at that! everyone hes ever loved hes had the burden to preside over their funerals. 

after, when we went to go eat again we sat with our cousins our age. so there was 3 sets of cousins that grew up together. my older boy cousins and the older girls cousins all sat together. then my generation of cousins came and sat with becca and I. then my 3 sisters sat with their cousins that they grew up with. so i talk to andrea the most, well besides becks but she doesn’t count cuz i see her once a week lol, but andrea i have  on social media so we talked and talked the most. i got the others IG so we could keep in touch. it was so funny too cuz breanne, nicole, aubry, and I are blonde and andera, becks and henry are the ones that still have their original dark hair color, like theyve never dyed their hair before hahaha so we were all laughing at that. 

people were talking about getting together a family reunion, i hope that happens! it would be really fun seeing others that didn’t get to go yesterday.

[groundramon]

Sorry you have shit relatives/extended family. Mine suck tremendously too and once my parents die it'll literally be just me except for potentially /one/ of them.

Aa thank you for the sympathy anon!  I think my family’s problem is that like…I come from a family of introverts, I’m the youngest by several years on one side and second-youngest by just almost as many years on the other side (the youngest is several years younger than me), and I just…havent really bonded with any of my cousins.  It’s not really that I have a bad relationship with my family, I just…dont have any relationship.  None of my relatives even know my cellphone number so I mean…  There are two cousins (siblings) on my dad’s side that I feel like, well at least tolerate me, but even then I feel like they’re just trying to be good hosts/guests (depending on where we’re holding the gathering lol) and its not like they have any way to contact me unless they ask their parents for my home phone number (which i never answer the home phone lol, or my cellphone but anyways-) so…  Nd like the two seemingly most extroverted people on both sides of my family seem to want the least to do with me out of all my relatives haha so :) maybe they just dont like me and ive been too optimistic about our relationship.  Also the one cousin that’s younger than me used to hang out with me when she was little, and so did her older siblings for that matter, but now none of them seem to want anything to do with me lol and i honest to god have no idea if I’m going to see them ever again because the one person who connected us died earlier this year so…fun fun lmao (they never invite us over/talk to us and they never come to our parties, so…the only time we ever saw them was at my one uncle’s house, and I dunno if his wife is still going to host family gatherings or not)

Then again, at least my immediate extended family just ignores me.  I know of people further beyond my extended family that actively cause drama and are the kind of people who are happy when their parents die because they want money.  My family tree is a mess btw but basically I want NOTHING to do with anyone beyond the people I called my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents when I was 10 lol.  But that’s a completely separate topic-

And yeah, I’m an only child and my parents are already in their fifties so.  Whoops, I’m probably gonna end up without any family pretty damn early on in my life.

I’ve never put a huge emphasis on family relationships (like I love my parents but I never felt obliged to love them just because they’re my parents, I love them because they love me and [generally] treat me well and have done so much for me) and honestly a distant family is all I’ve ever known (things seem to have gotten worse gradually on my mom’s side but eh, whatever) but it still stings a bit to know that I wont have anyone to fall back on family-wise if something goes sour in my life.  It also means I literally can’t think of anyone currently in my life who would attend my funeral when I do die, unless my friends in other states (my single irl friend probably included since she might be moving sometime) have the money and means to attend - and assuming of course that we’re still in contact that many years from now.  Which is.  Kinda sad.  But at least I’ve got decades to make other friendships, if nothing else.