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#i also liked that they just cut off the toxic family members and stay away from drama
takhayyul · 1 year
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i hate being the only cousin living in canada, its my cousins wedding in the coming weeks and they be having so much fun rn while i gotta go to my 9 to 5 tmrw
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atlas-likes-writing · 3 months
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Febuwhump day 3: "Bite down on this."
Characters: Red Hood/Jason Todd, Nightwing/Dick Grayson, The Black Bat/Cassandra Cane, Signal/Duke Thomas, Red Robin/Tim Drake, Robin/Damian Wayne, Batman/Bruce Wayne (mentioned), Agent A/Alfred Pennyworth (mentioned).
Summary: A new variant of Jonathon Crane's Fear toxin has been rumoured to be released. When Jason gets effected, it feels like he's burning alive.
Word Count: 1,079
Tags: Whump, graphic depictions of pain and injury, needles/syringes, toxic gas/gas masks, depictions of fire/being burned.
Authors note: Wrote this when I was sleep deprived in about two hours. Enjoy! This has not been edited so expect mistakes.
Day One | Day Two | Masterlist
@febuwhump
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The news had said that there was word of a new strain of Fear toxin out in the streets that felt like you were burning alive. Hell, maybe you were; in your mind. The news had also said that there was no cure to this new strain, and citizens were urged to stay inside and wear their state-funded gas masks courtesy of Wayne Enterprises. 
The news does not always speak the truth, though. There was a cure to this new version of Fear. It just hadn’t been developed yet. 
It currently is in the process of being synthesised in the lab of the BatCave. The last time Jason checked; the percentage was 24%. That 24% happened over the space of two days, so it’s safe to say that it’s taking a long time. The molecular formula of this strain is almost entirely different from its less potent counterparts, which makes the lives of both Alfred and Bruce much more difficult. So difficult, in fact, that the Bat isn’t able to leave for patrol at all, instead having to survey the development of the cure during all hours of the day. The gas is colourless, so you don’t know when it strikes you until it does. 
That leaves his many children to deal with the fallout. They’re out in the streets nightly, with their patrols sometimes prolonging until the sun is beating down on them from above. Damian and Tim had to put in their absences at school due to “personal family matters” so they were able to help as many people as possible. There’s not much that any of them can do, though. They can only jump at the sound of civilians screaming out in pain as invisible fire scorches their veins. They can only shove their gas masks over their faces and rush over to where the person writhes on the floor and take them out of the area; to the nearest Gotham Hospital that is steadily reaching capacity with beds overcome by shaking and screaming patients all witnessing the same thing. 
They’ve had to enlist the help of the police by cordoning off streets and buildings that are known to have gas. The colourless compound makes their lives even more difficult, requiring Oracle’s expert deduction skills to figure out where it has spread and when the wind changes. 
The family has dealt with it well! Dick has been pulled from Bludhaven to help and Jason has been less bitchy than usual (Tim’s words, much to the dismay of Jason). 
Well, at least until now. 
With the focus of the resident vigilantes on containing the gas, regular crime has been on the rise. They bag up the odd criminal when they stumble across them, but most of the time they’ve unfortunately had to go free. This threat is simply too large to spare any members of the Batfamily for the run-of-the-mill criminal on the streets. 
Unfortunately for one run-of-the-mill criminal, he happened to stumble across Red Hood while he was carrying the final civilian in a building out and away from the gas inside. The thug is the same size and Jason and appears to have similar muscle mass, so Jason might have his work cut out for him if he’s aiming to not kill the man opposing him. 
They land heavy hits on each other for a while. Jason headbutts the man and the tubes of the mask the other is wearing jiggle about a bit. Then the criminal lands a mean right hook across the jaw of his helmet, causing Jason to stumble back and nearly fall over. It’s only when he’s pinned to the floor when he’s distracted that he realises something is wrong. 
It starts as a warm feeling in his outer extremities, but soon crescendos into his legs catching fire and his clothing setting ablaze. It’s not real. Jason knows it’s not real; but holy fuck does it feel real.  
At this point the thug has scrambled away from the writhing man, realising he’s won and not wanting the repercussions that come with it. The sound of rapid footsteps grows quieter and is soon drowned out by the sound of Jason’s screams. Orange heat licks up his spine and makes him curl up and convulse in pain that isn’t there. His cries of agony bury the yells of his brother as the blue vigilante sprints towards him. He nearly knocks the poor man out when Dick throws his entire weight on Jason to keep him still, limbs flailing and screams of “Get away from me!” tear their way out of his throat. 
“Alfred! When is that antidote ready?” Dick yells into his comm link. 
“It is at 93%, master Richard. Bring Red Hood back to the BatCave so he can be treated.” 
That is a task easier said than done. Especially when you’ve got to lug a 200 pound brick shit-house from one end of Gotham to the other. It takes two tranquillizers to put Jason under, and even then, he can’t help but shake and convulse in his sleep. 
After what seems like hours, Dick, with the help of Cass, Tim, Duke, and Damian, manage to throw the agonised body of Jason onto the medical cot. His wrists and ankles are strapped to the bed and his torso is tied down with something that looks like duct tape, but probably isn’t. The percentage of the antidote is now 98%, so all the family can do is wait. 
And wait they do, until Jason wakes up and starts thrashing. around on the cot. The rest of the family seem to have underestimated Jason’s strength – especially under the influence of Fear toxin. The worst part of it all is that the man seems perfectly lucid. He’s conscious about everything that occurs around him, yet he’s hallucinating an inferno eating him up and spitting him out. Dick has to hold him down by his shoulders to keep Jason from breaking out of his restraints. 
“Here, bite down on this,” Dick states, holding a piece of cloth up to his brother's mouth for him to bite down on. Jason does; his teeth clamp down on the checkered item and his screams become muffled. It’s then when the ding of the antidote dispenser sounds, and the compound is immediately bottled and duplicated. It’s then pressed into a syringe and stabbed into one of Jason’s shaking arms. 
It works clearly, and as a result Jason falls unconscious, exhausted.  
-
AO3
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cinamun · 7 months
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Hey Cina, I know the RRR/BBC is rn conversing about Rah/Dira and generational trauma, but can I go Blackwards for a moment to a few of the minor characters. Regarding Hope's pretty but troubled MIL, Miss Mercy, just wanted to ask if we have seen the last of Sean and if we will ever get a backstory glimpse into how that night went, if either got caught up in emotions (they both seem emotionally labile, though I still think if you went that direction it would make for an interesting dynamic due to who Sean is... in more than one person's life.) Plus we've assumed her last time in the problematic penthouse was with you know who. But maybe it wasn't... Also, Amaya's family? Who are they? Will there be a glimpse of them? Has Indya & Darren or DJ for that matter met her family? Hopefully they aren't toxic. Her features and skintone give off a vibe like her parents are from the Caribbean. And now Black to the Future questions: I was also was going to ask if Rah is redeemable, because there tends to be a throw away society mentality towards black men that have "issues" in RL & in books/entertainment so I was hoping he was/is redeemable, but I think I am getting a hint that there may be a move on from Rah and possibly ol' boy Ryke since Dira is young and may not have the same mindset as Hope regarding dating. To conclude, just two observations: How do I know since 2015(?) or was it 2017 that Indie has grown up and embraced her grown-woman-with-children crown? She came to her eldest daughter's house in Jerilee swag: house slippers. :D And not cute bougie ones at that! Plus of course how she is handling Hope's new mom freak outs and Dira and DJ's underdeveloped brain decisions.
2nd Observation: I laugh every time you slip in the official RRR/BBC logo of Raven's knowing look every now and then. :D :D :D
OOOOH Friend!! That's a lot! But you already know how we do so....
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As for any potential MerSean shenanigans, I gotta hit you with the stay tuned. There are SEVERAL members of this here Badass Book Club™ who are shipping them HARD. Because why not? They look damn good together
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Sean must have good dick if he pulled Indya for as long as he did and that is important given that good dick is a weak spot for Miss Mercy....
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..... but I digress.
Now on to Amaya Griffin. If and only If she and DJ last will we get a glimpse into her home life. But you're on to something with those island roots.
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Amaya's mother is Sulanese.
As for your questions, LET'S GO!!
A) was going to ask if Rah is redeemable, because there tends to be a throw away society mentality towards black men that have "issues" in RL
You are absolutely right, and this was a key issue earlier in the story with Darren. You had to be there friend! TABLES WERE THROWN!! HANDS WERE CAUGHT!! It was THE WILD WEST in the BBC™ where on one side, we hated Darren and wanted his ass thrown out for how he treated our girl. There were those who even thought Indya DESERVED it because she was often quite fucking bogus! I had a reckoning with my DAMN self about Darren and decided to write his growth journey which I am STILL writing. In other words, once we decide to throw someone away, we just do it. I wanted to challenge that for many reasons, one of them being the one you stated.
You can imagine, then, that while Rah did something entirely fucked up, I am willing to at least understand (and maybe others are too), that there are factors in his life that may be caused these unfortunate series of events. Imagine having a mom who is never there for you and everyone in your school has seen her sex tape. Not saying these are excuses, just saying....
Anyway, we gotta stay tuned to see if Rahul is a character who even sticks around. Indira is about to have a birthday and she could choose to cut off boffum. We shall see.
B) How do I know since 2015(?) or was it 2017 that Indie has grown up and embraced her grown-woman-with-children crown?
Maybe i'm reading this wrong, and if I am, please clarify in another ask but.... how can you NOT know? She's in house slippers (I thought they were cute) because she was there to clean in a full lace front and cute little joggers (Mercy was too except for the lace front). There will always be bougie Indya which is why you will refer to her as Queen Muva around Dem Babies™ lmfao
I think Indya has absolutely embraced her grown woman and I thought it was glaringly obvious.
Especially here:
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And of course here:
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dwarfman403-blog · 9 months
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Idk man
The more I read about bipolar disorder, it’s treatment, how it works and all that; the less I think that I’ll get proper and respectful help in both medical and social circles if I admit to a soul that I have bipolar disorder.
The general consensus is that medicating is the only way and that just doesn’t check out with me for some reason. You’re telling me I have /no choice/ but to medicate once some crackpot who listened to my story for 15 minutes says so? And he grabs the closest, very obviously placed as to be advertised medication and it turns you into a zombie? And you wonder why bipolar patients won’t take their meds; it’s because they suck.
I’m re-examining my past medical history and it’s worth noting that my bipolar diagnosis came about during a time when I was unhappy in the military, unhappy at work, had a very unstable sleep pattern, inadequate pay, was just cutting off toxic family members, and was not exercising or eating right at all and still dealing with some severe ptsd.
I’m also noticing that in the last year and a half I’ve completely revamped my life style to include consistent sleep, a healthy and balanced diet, drinking water, steady and low stress work, medical discharge, different work style. and I haven’t had anything that I would call a bipolar swing. All I’m saying is that these factors shouldn’t be overlooked.
But back to point; it’s like receiving a bipolar diagnosis is curse that follows you in the medical field. “You’ve got bipolar? And you’re unmedicated?? Wrong. You’re wrong and dangerous. Stay away from me, dangerous man”. And you think you’re allowed to challenge that diagnosis? Negative. Good luck. You’re bipolar now, that’s like being called “crazy” in professional terms and it doesn’t go away. Your opinion about your mind and body no longer matter. Even your family will make your medical choices their business. Say goodbye to your autonomy. Say goodbye to anyone being relaxed around you. You’re a beast, a wild were beast that could go feral at any provocation. It starts to drive you mad. You believe it and you happily put yourself on guard from yourself. You start seeing demons inside you that aren’t there. You start to fear what others might think of you, they must see them too, the demons. So you keep your eyes down so no one can see into your soul. You isolate so you can never hurt anyone. You start believing that any display of displeasure is an “episode” so you become stoic and unfeeling in your life.
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lmaowhateven · 3 years
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umodern au but its only the genshin pairs i care abt
some hcs under the cut or whatever 🙄 i have lots of thoughts
THOMIYA (dating)
Thoma 26 Yoimiya 24
-Thoma is the manager of a Kamisato Teashop. He grew up with Ayaka and has naturally been very close with the family. Unofficially adopted into the family and eager to help in the business :)
-Yoimiya is running her father's fireworks shop as he's getting to old to do everything himself. It's taking a lot longer than she thought it would, but currently she's trying to get a degree in business.
-The Kamisato Teashop and Nagonahara Fireworks are right next to eachother! Thoma and Yoimiya have known each other since middle school but they only recently started dating (Ayaka set them up on a blind date >:D)
-They are practically perfect together save for the fact that Thoma frequently picks up stray animals and volunteers at shelters, and Yoimiya is wildly allergic to animal fur.
BEIGGUANG (divorced/it's complicated)
Beidou 33 Ningguang 35
-Beidou use to be a prominent fish catcher and sailor, but within the last 5 years has quit her job and bought a houseboat where she lives with Kazuha (17) (her half adopted son/half roommate).
-Ningguang is a prolific CEO of a mining and trading company. She's built up the entire operation herself. She's also paying the mortgage on Beidou's houseboat.
-Beidou and Ningguang met in their early 20's and it was practically love at first sight. They got married within a year and stayed together for 4 years. Split up due to completely different lifestyles, but they can't stay away from each other for too long.
-There is nothing funnier to me than divorced beigguang but the relationship is so messy they can't help but come back to each other. It's not toxic they just need couples therapy and both are too proud to admit it. 😐
-My ideal for them is "I thought we'd be better off divorced but I'm literally so miserable without you." They are so messy so so so so messy in my head
CHAEYA (flirting)
Kaeya 24 Childe 25
((this one is a bit of a shitpost idea my other idea was smth inspired by killing eve because i love my gay bitches MESSY and PROBLEMATIC but i went with this one instead bc it was just tooooooo edgy and i didn't want to make kaeya work for the FBI or MI6 cause he's too sexy for that))
-Childe is a tik tok influencer trying to break out into the acting world. He's fairly talented for a newbie on the scene, and having him as an actor in your movie is good publicity, so he's quickly becoming an up-and-coming star.
-Kaeya has been an a-list celebrity since his teen years, due to his father being a rich philanthropist it was fairly easy for him to get roles as a kid. He's won many awards for his talent and has been in block buster after block buster. As of late though, he's recently been caught in the middle of a NASTY public scandal surrounding his brother suing him, and has become black-listed in many celebrity circles. This hit to his public reputation has him working in films he'd usually decline.
-So that's how Childe and Kaeya became co-stars of the newest cheesy netflix teen drama. Kaeya so clearly doesn't want to be here and Childe is very eager to mess with him. I'd like to think Childe keeps posting images of him and Kaeya online together and fans keep speculating on their (character's) relationship. It drives Kaeya INSANE and Childe loves to press his buttons. He pretends like it doesn't but he's plotting 1210312313 different ways to get Childe fired offset.
-Kaeya starts messing with Childe whenever they have to act together on screen. If Childe wants to spread rumors than Kaeya can spread rumors too. 😌 Y'know just adding a little acting here and sprinkling a yearning touch there. It's all in the name of show-biz (AND VENGEANCE)
XIAOYU (married)
Xiao 31 Ganyu 34
-Both of them are ex-members of the Chinese mafia, but you'd never have guessed that. Now Xiao is a homemaker and Ganyu is a secretary for Ningguang. (basically a way of the househusband au.)
-Have been married for 8 years but everyone tells them they look too young to even be married at all.
-Ganyu frequently falls asleep on public transport, so Xiao takes her to and from work on his motorcycle. She absolutely loves the feeling of being on the bike, Xiao is so terrified every second of the way.
-They met after a long turf war had ended between two gangs. Their boss had grown tired of all the fighting and wanted to retire, and felt that they were too young to be roped up into all of this. Without anywhere else to go both of them had found solace with each other.
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3desiderium3 · 3 years
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For your love
chapter three - Rotten Wine
[ series masterlist ]
previous chapter | next chapter
pairings : reader x damiano david
story summary : damiano and reader are in very loving relationship that sometimes almost too quickly becomes too toxic for anyone likings
chapter warning (s) : yelling , angst , manipulation , guilt tripping , mind games , toxic behavior , manipulative behavior , strong language
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Saturday morning. Special saturday morning.
Today marks exactly a whole week of Y/N and Damiano not fighting. No yelling , no crying , no sleepless nights , no pushing out of the doorway , no drinking to wash away the sins , no mental damage , no nothing.
Instead of all that , they went on a museum date on Friday , they had a picnic day on Wednesday , Y/N bought him the pearly earrings he has been eyeing on for a while , Damiano made breakfast every day for them , Y/N went out in town to frame some of their pictures they took on their previous vacations . They had a few pamper nights in a row , painting each others nails , putting on face and hair masks and even those weird feet one ! Drinking wine and dancing slowly with some slow music. Damiano singing to Y/N more than 2 times a day.
They made love every night.
It was a dream.
Both of them secretly hoping that this dream won't turn into a nightmare.
Y/N was in kitchen cutting some strawberries for the cake she planned on bringing on tonight's gathering at Victoria's house. Ethan and Thomas where coming as well.
Damiano was still sleeping. Y/N was glowing from happiness and joy. She was so in love with him. She had a smile on her bright shiny face for 7 days in a row , her eyes seemed warmer and more calm , her posture was less tensed and she even smoked less.
While she was busy chopping the reddish fruit under her delicate fingers , the room suddenly felt warmer and creamy cinnamon smell filled it.
Damiano had this weird thing about him that often put Y/Ns mind on wander. It was the way his scent and his aura color changed during his mood swings.
Even if it was not visible to human eye , Y/N swore she could see that dim cloud surrounding his body and changing color in some situations.
His scent was natural , depending on the occasion it was sometimes too strong or it could barely be felt.
When he was happy he was shining deep orange tone with the scent of light cinnamon and lemon ice cream.
When he was sad his color was indigo and he left a strong scent of mint and lime.
When he was angry which is often , he gave of wine crimson vibrations and poisnosly sharp smell of rotten wine.
As for the matter of speaking , when lust would take over him and his senses he smelled sweet like rotting roses and he was gleaming in deep burgundy color.
Just like now he was filling the room with the smell of lemon ice cream and cinnamon.
A pair of slender , sun kissed arms wrapped themselves firmly around Y/N's shoulders and chest .
Damiano's warm , naked chest pressed against Y/N's back pushed her slightly to the edge of the kitchen counter. Closing the gap between her and that cold marble.
His lips found their was to gently kiss the lovely delicate neck of hers. Cracking a sly smile upon seeing some of the soft bruises he left on her neck previous night.
"Morning mio amore." Y/N's lover whispered in her ear. His voice was low , golden , filled with care and adoration.
A huge grin appeared on Y/N's face , turning her head to her left side to kiss Damiano's temple.
"Morning love. It was about time you wake. " His raspy chuckles sent shivers down her spine. " It was , but you have no idea how sad it made me to realize I woke up without you by my side. "
Oh what a sweet talker he was..
"Why don't we go back to bed hmm amore? We have a whole day ahead for us." Damiano nuzzled his face into her neck giving it multiple pecks.
" I need to finish this cake first , after it we can do whatever." " You plan on bringing the strawberry cake tonight?" " Yes.. Why?"
Y/N frowned , she turned around slowly hoping that her boyfriend was playing jokes with her. But he had the same confused expression on his morning face.
" Well... My mom is allergic to strawberries I thought you knew that already?" " Why would your mom be there??"
Damiano stepped back a bit clearly confused.
" Why would she be in her own house? I don't know she is living there I suppose."
Y/N blinked. More than once. Is there some sort of a plan she forgot about? Her mind racing now already , trying to remember all of his family members birthdays and important anniversaries .
" Did you forget the plans we arranged for tonight Y/N?" Damiano asked , now with much more serious tone , his face was not so relaxed and it seemed like the air got thicker and it was harder do breath. The look he gave her was chilling.
' Oh not this shit again.. Are we really going to fight now?? And for what?? '
"I understood that we are going to stay in tonight with Vic and the boys at her place?"
" No. We promised my parents we are going to dine out with them. Did you seriously forgot?!"
He half shouted leaving poor Y/N confused and in slight shock. Why was he getting mad at her for such nonsense? Was he waiting for the right timing just to start an argument?
" I am sorry but I do not remember , you ever telling me that we are seeing your folks. "
" Cause you never fucking listen to me maybe."
He walked over the small coffee table in living room to grab his pack of cigarettes' and a lighter. Taking one in his fingers and placing it between his lips lighting it and taking one long drag. The slow smoke coming out of his nose and hardly parted lips.
" Not just that you never fucking listen but you also never fucking care to remember the important stuff I have! "
Okay what the actual fuck.
Y/N though while her eyes went wide from shock under the furrowed eyebrows and clenched jaw.
This was some sort of a set up. She clearly remember that he never mentioned that to her before.
And both of them knew very fucking well that she would never in her life forget something that's important to him.
" You are obviously pissed at me right now for whatever reason that you have so I will let you be. When you get your shit together you can talk to me. " Y/N said with her head held high.
She was not gonna let him ruin this day. Instead she continued to make her cake. She needed to focus on something else than his deep dark eyes filled with fire from the thrones of hell burning inside of them.
The room smelled like rotten wine.
" What's the problem Damiano. Are you mad at me for not remembering something you never told me?"
He huffed , aggressively shaking ashes off his cig into the ashtray on the coffee table.
" And don't even try ruining my mood , I was perfectly fine before you woke up , I had a wonderful morning thanks for asking. "
" Are you seriously gonna jump on my nerves with that attitude Y/N? "
" That's what you are asking me to do. If you just admit that you forgot to tell me about plans with your parents we are gonna end the day in peace. "
" You are beyond fucking sweet and so beyond fucking dumb if you expect me to stay calm and be in peace with you. You are so ungrateful and so disrespectful towards me . "
Y/N felt like crying , her hands slightly shaking while wiping the fruits into cream . Why now? Why today? Why did he decided to start all this now?
" I am not believing my eyes now , instead of showing me that I am wrong and that you are not ungrateful , you are standing right here and not even bothering to listen what I have to say! "
" I don't wanna hear your crap Damiano! I am trying to maintain the fucking peace in this relationship while you are constantly the one to break it! "
Damiano also felt like crying. Cause Y/N was right. He did forgot to tell her they where invited to go out with their parents , he was in fact mainly responsible for each of their fights. But was he ever going to admit that he is wrong? No.
Instead of trying to process something she is saying to him right now , or trying to apologize , he stood up from the chair he was sitting on , his mouth placed in a smirk , his gaze piercingly cold despite his hot temper.
Damiano walked up to her standing beside her like an annoying child blocking her movements.
" I am sensing slight disobedience in your tone amore.. Now I think we should start again. You are gonna apolo - " " I will certainly not fucking apologize for anything ! Especially not dealing up with your egoistic ass Damiano!"
Y/N was yelling at him. Not able to handle this pressure of rotten wine.
She was tired again. Everything was pale and grey again. She swore that even the sun outside stopped shining. She was tired again from having to deal with a fucking brick wall.
He was just torturing her. For what? His ego.
He was watching her from above , still smirking with his arms crossed . He adored seeing her shake from rage. She was so obedient and so desperate for home peace that she tried doing everything she could to hold herself back.
" You know what Y/N , if you just once , just for once stopped playing a fucking victim then ma- "
" I AM NOT. PLAYING THE FUCKING. VICTIM!"
She screamed. Y/N Y/LN fucking screamed at Damiano David with all the fore she had in her lungs. Inside her ears it was ringing and she didn't realize that she dropped one bowl at the counter , which just provided clacking noises.
Silence.
Complete silence that smelled like rotten wine.
Damiano took whatever he could feel under his fingers which was on Y/N's unfortune a bowl filled with cake whipping cream . He gripped it firmly before smashing it in one stir way right beside her.
Y/N was standing paralyzed her eyes watering and palms visibly shaking. She was watching Damiano straight into his deep dark eyes which showed no emotion.
" Once you accept your place and know your role and once you admit you are fucking wrong ,we can talk properly. " That was all he said as that sly half smile never left the corner of his lips.
He passed her by walking to their bedroom.
No other sounds or words left.
Y/N grabbed the edge of the counter , holding herself steady so she wouldn't fall. Her mind racing. Legs shaking. Heart beating mad.
'So this is the man I wanna marry? The man I want to have family with?'
The one who just throw an heavy object right beside her head?
The one who attacks her for his mistakes?
Her legs finally gave her away. She couldn't stand straight , crying all the tears she never knew she had. Y/N hugged her knees and placed her head temple on them. What a lovely Saturday morning.
She stayed there on the floor crying for at least thirty minutes. With running nose and sobs that turned into whimpers and hiccups.
She regretted ever talking back to him . She should've simply agree that she forgot what she didn't even knew. A few times thinking and trying to remember if by any chance she did forgot about that plan.
But no. She couldn't remember. She lost all hope she had.
When she felt like she could stand again she stood up not quit bothering to clean up the white and beige mess on the floor. She skipped it skillfully directing herself to their bedroom.
'Think about all the times this has happened before , think about all other times when he was guilt tripping you and using you to water up his garden of ego. '
Y/N entered their shared room where her lover was in. Laying on his back on a bed surrounded by soft cloudy cotton sheets. His arms and hands behind his head . His eyes looking her up and down with a cold expression while behind them a fire from the throne of hell was burning.
The room stopped smelling like rotten wine.
It was smelling very little like the mint and lime.
Slow raindrops hitting the huge windows gently , the sky changed from golden to silver.
" I-I am sorry.. Plea-ase don't be m-mad at me.. " She managed to choke out this apology.
Wishing that she was the one hearing it.
Wishing she didn't have to pray away his sins.
He tapped the place for her to lay beside him.
He made her a bed of thorns. In which this gentle rose was supposed to blossom.
" Ti amo amore mio . "
Oh that silly word she always get instead of apology. Like it would fix something.
She laid down beside him , placing her head on his chest , her left leg in between his and her left arm around his torso.
One of his hands playing with her hair while the other caressed her arm.
His eyes becoming glassy as bitter drops of shame and regret left them.
Both of these lovers crying in each others arms purposely. Eager to be taken care of.
And not being able to stay on the calm shore cause the violence is the only way they know how to love.
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absurdthirst · 3 years
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Heyy. Not sure if you’re open to requests...but can you do some headcanons for the boys when they’re dating someone whose family are basically douchebags? LOL I know that’s random but like, I’m dealing with family members who are dismissive, rude, angry at ridiculous shit, etc. I guess as an escape I’d like to imagine what the Pedro boys would do to help deal with that, particularly my loves Din, Frankie, Whiskey, Javi, Pero, and Dave Y. cause somehow I imagine his response would amuse me. 🤣
When You Have A Shitty Family: 
Javier: He is not one to say much. His glowers pretty much speak for itself when he’s around your family. He listens to you complain about it and tells you not to deal with them. One day, you are on the phone, obviously upset, and Javi will straight up take the phone from you. Barely listens for two seconds before he is growling down the line, “Don’t fucking call back here again, asshole.” before he is hanging up on them. Telling you when he turns back to you that you shouldn’t let them try to control your life. 
Ezra: Ohhhhhhh It is a sight to behold. Ezra has a talent for insulting people without them even realizing it. He will have them agree that they are the worst sort of human beings alive before they have to stop and figure out what the hell they just actually agreed to. If they continue to harass and offend his little bird, he and they will be having a much different conversation at the barrels end of a thrower. 
Mando: You don’t have to worry about it. Because you aren’t going to see them anymore. Their asses can stay on the miserable planet they are on and you are coming with him. If they continue to try to harass you over a comm link.....well, let’s just say that his strong intimidating side becomes even MORE intimidating. He will find a bounty puck on their asses and collect with glee, smirking under that beskar helmet as he puts them in carbonite. 
Frankie: They don’t act that way around Frankie. It might have had something to do with the time that he had come back from a particularly bad deployment and your asshole of a brother had started in on you. Frankie had told him to back off and go somewhere else, but he just wouldn’t listen. Your brother won’t talk to him now, and that’s okay. He beat some fucking manners into him that day. 
Tovar: You want a dagger at your throat? Because that is how you get a dagger to your throat. Or whoever the poor bastard is that is rude to you in front of him. He might have a sarcastic and biting manner, but he does not allow anyone to speak to his love like that. Not and keep their tongue. 
Agent Whiskey: Hehehehehe....they don’t talk that way anymore. Because every time you are around he is right there. And they all remember the ass whoopin’ Jack gave them the last time they decided to show their asses in front of him. It was like a bar room brawl. 
Marcus Pike: Marcus is a sweet man, but even he knows when there is too much toxicity. He encourages you to cut contact with them. Also gently suggests a counselor to go see to help you understand that it’s not your fault they are horrible human beings. 
Oberyn Martell: They are dead. He took offense and challenged them. And he won. 
Dave York: They don’t act that way around you anymore. Hell, when you walk up they look like they are about to lose their lunch and quickly make excuses to leave. All it took was one conversation with Dave that you weren’t privy to. Whatever he said, it certainly made them wary. He just smiles at you like he never said a word to them. But believe me, they remember the very graphic way Dave said he would kill and dismember them if they even looked at you wrong.
Marcus Moreno: Marcus doesn’t like to get confrontational but he won’t put up with you being treated that way. Every time this starts happening, he just stands and pulls you away with him gently. “We’re gonna leave now.” And no amount of yelling or rude comments will get him to change his mind. He knows you love your family, but they aren’t gong to treat you like that. 
Max Lord: (In the 80s) Changes your number and takes awhile before he tells you that’s why you aren’t receiving those nasty calls anymore. Waits until you are much more relaxed since you aren’t being constantly harassed to tell you it might be better if you have nothing more to do with them. He’s had practice with this. He cut off his father after his mother’s death. 
Zach Wellison: Straight up got in their faces. He’s got his own temper and fuck if he’s going to let you be abused by shitty family. Tells you that the two of you don’t need them and if you want to cut off all contact, he will be behind you 1000%. 
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edie-baby · 3 years
Text
baby girls - chapter two | lando norris
Chapter Two: Perhaps
summary: What's the best way to tell the guy you like that you have a kid? Well, lying about it and making him think you're cheating isn't the best tactic, Mila's about to find that out the hard way.
word count: 1650
warnings: swearing, absentee father (the asshole ex has evolved)
last chapter
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Dreaming of a perfect man while on a perfect vacation in the perfect scenery was, well, perfect. Until the dream ended, and Mila was forced back into reality by the wails of her daughter coming from the next room, the heartbreaking sound kicked Mila’s motherly instincts into high gear, her sleep-addled brain coming into a laser sharp focus within a split second.
“Hey baby girl, what’s going on?” Mila spoke, scooping Mahri into her arms with practiced ease. Mahri’s sobs quieted almost instantaneously, her tears still tracking down her face with a vengeance. Mila tried wiping the tears away, but they were replaced just as quickly.
“It’s okay, just breathe bubs. Whatever’s making you upset, we can fix. It’s all good.” Mila whispered, bouncing Mahri around the room as it had calmed her down when she was just a baby.
“I want Daddy.” Mahri cried, and Mila could have collapsed at the weight of the words the toddler had said. There was a large hole in both of their lives in the exact shape and size of Mahri’s father. Once high school sweethearts, now sworn enemies.
As much as Mila tried to block out all thoughts and feelings related to Mahri’s dad, she couldn’t blame the kid for missing a man Mila herself found missing sometimes. Matyas was Mila’s first love, her boyfriend since 8th grade, and her best friend since kindergarten. They had grown up side by side, acknowledging they had crushes on each other in their second year of high school, and having a baby together by the second last.
Matyas and Mila, contrary to most’s predictions, had stayed together through her pregnancy, and even for a while after Mahri was born. Matyas would bring all of Mila’s schoolwork home and help her work through assessments while she was pregnant, and once Mahri was born, they alternated taking days off school to babysit when members of their family couldn’t.
But something Mila had never admitted to others was that Matyas was an asshole, only kicking into higher gear once they had both finished school. Mila had an acceptance letter for university and a part time job lined up, whilst Matyas hadn’t even bothered looking, preferring to use the excuse of ‘I have a child’ to stop him from venturing into the adult world. Despite this, cooking, cleaning, and looking after the baby was Mila’s job, obviously because she was the woman, the mother.
When Mila finally decided to end her toxic relationship with her lifelong best friend, she was villainized for it. Her parents and friends blamed her for tearing her own family apart, whilst her older siblings were more than supportive, having accidentally witnessed Matyas’ less than desirable traits. Up until about six months ago, Matyas would visit regularly, taking Mahri for her swimming classes, and playing with her at the park, occasionally taking her for the day to save Mila some money on daycare.
However, much like any tale of a teenager, Matyas was single and lonely, and a barrier to being in a relationship was the fact that he had become a father at seventeen. It wasn’t exactly a big check mark next to his name, so when he had told Mila he needed to move on, find someone special, she didn’t anticipate that meant moving on from his daughter. Six months with no contact was the longest Mahri had ever gone without seeing her father, and it was the longest Mila had ever gone without seeing him. Mila didn’t have the heart to tell Mahri, who looked at Matyas as though he hung the stars, that her father wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Yet as the days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months, Mahri’s cries for her dad became all the more heartbreaking.
“I know, baby girl. But he’s on holiday, remember? He’s having lots of fun in Limbo.” Mila lied, continuing to rock her daughter in her arms, heart feeling heavy as stone at the blatant lies she was forced to tell her daughter just because her ex-boyfriend was a coward.
“I want a new daddy.” Mahri whispered, giving up on keeping her head up, preferring to let it fall heavily onto her mum’s shoulder. Mila couldn’t help but chuckle silently, the unfiltered, mumbled by age, words that her daughter came out with sometimes were what kept Mila going. With a few more bounces, Mila was sure her daughter had fallen back into a deep slumber and moved to lay her back in the small bed, covered with pillows, blankets and stuffed animals.
Mahri’s words echoed in Mila’s head, and as she reached for her phone to send yet another unanswered text to Matyas, Lando’s face appeared on her screen, an incoming FaceTime call that was as daunting as it was exciting. Mila looked over her shoulder, listening for any movement from Mahri before she answered the call, setting her phone against the toaster on the kitchen counter as she began brewing some coffee. It was nearing five in the morning, and knowing she would be usually waking up in an hour and a half meant it was going to be a caffeine fueled day.
“Hey baby boy.” Mila spoke a moment after the call had connected, looking down at the phone to see Lando’s tired face, snuggled up in bed with a small smile on his face. His smile only growing when he heard the fond nickname fall from Mila’s lips.
“Hi love. Why are you making coffee? It’s so late.” Lando mumbled, squinting to get a better look at what Mila was doing in front of him. His eyes devoured her figure, a large tshirt covering the tops of her thighs, and from what he could see, or lack thereof, she wasn’t wearing pants.
“Actually, it’s early. It’s a bit past five at the moment.” Mila replied, giggling at the way Lando seemed entranced by the view of her bare skin, smiling fondly when he snapped out of the trance at the sound of her joy.
“What the fuck are you doing up so early?” Lando almost shrieked, the volume of it causing Mila to startle forward, pressing incessantly at the buttons on her phone to lower the sound, checking over her shoulder paranoid that the gorgeous Brit had woken her barely sleeping baby.
“Oh, sorry. Do you have someone over?” Lando mumbled, looking crestfallen as he recognised the anxious look on Mila’s face. He couldn’t have been so naive to think that a woman as gorgeous as her wouldn’t have company on a Friday night - Saturday morning for her - and it had been about four days since they had spoken, he should have known.
“Uh, kind of. But no, but yes. Fuck.” Mila cursed, trying to find the right way to tell Lando that, yes, indeed she was worried he had woken someone up, but no, it wasn’t the kind of someone he was thinking of. She watched as Lando gulped, his mind spiralling with images of Mila with someone else, and although he had seen it in Austria, it hurt to know that their week together hadn’t meant as much to her as it did him.
“That’s alright. I’ll, um, let you get back to that, I guess. I’m sorry I called.” Lando muttered, moving to end the call when Mila panicked, the thought of hurting the man she was falling in love with had overridden her fears of him freaking out over the fact that she came with a lot more baggage than initially thought.
“I’ll call you later, baby boy, I promise. I want to talk to you, now just isn’t really a good time. I’m sorry.” Mila’s voice was trembling, she could see Lando’s want to get out of the conversation and never speak to her again, and it was the very last thing she wanted.
“It’s fine, you have your own life. We’ll talk soon. Bye.” Lando finished, his voice curt and clipped, but Mila could very clearly see the hurt hidden beneath the thin veil. She felt a piece of her heart break at the sight, knowing she was not only lying to him, but also causing him pain whilst she did so made her question whether it was really worth it hiding the little ball of energy in the next room.
Before Mila could reply, the call cut out, and she was left staring at the photo of herself, Victoria, and the twitch quartet on her lockscreen, something she had changed to remind herself of the amazing week she spent with some new lifelong friends.
Mila unlocked her phone, desperate to get away from the look she and Lando gave each other, preferring to admire her home screen, a photo from hers and Mahri’s most recent adventure to the park, Mahri laughing her ass off at Mila, who was very scaredly looking at the flock of geese running toward them while she took the photo.
Of course she had to give birth to a sadist, and if she was honest, she’d take that over the obvious masochistic trait she had been born with. The conversation with Lando replayed in her mind a million times, part of her wondering why she couldn’t just own the fuck up and tell him she had a kid. It wasn’t like she was telling him she wanted kids with him, or that he already had a kid, fuck if he didn’t want to, she probably wouldn’t introduce him to Mahri for years.
Yes, Mahri was her number one priority, but she couldn’t live her entire life for her child. She was nineteen, a gorgeous woman, and she deserved to be loved. Perhaps she could live her life with her child, and perhaps with someone else too.
But after today? She wasn’t sure she’d get the chance to even try.
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corpsedaydream · 3 years
Text
not such a merry christmas
corpse husband x reader
-
hi hi so it’s 4:20am lmao i’m not kidding
so i know i said i wasn’t going to be on over christmas but christmas wrapped up late for me and i wasn’t ready to sleep and i just started writing and this is what came of it. i know that christmas isn’t always exactly a happy time for everyone bc family and holidays can be complicated sometimes. so if ur struggling or experiencing anything negative or just not rly enjoying christmas. this ones for u friend and i’m sending love ur way
word count: 2085
_______________________________
You had mixed feelings about this time of year.
The holidays.
On one hand, it meant you had some free time to enjoy some quality time with your nearest and dearest. And on another hand, it meant that you would be potentially finding yourself in situations where you would be spending time with family members who you would maybe rather not spend time with.
When you were young, Christmas always felt so magical. Now you were older, Christmas felt more like an anxiety inducing chore.
You’d talked to Corpse about your family a many of times, because for the most part, you really did love your family so much. You felt lucky to have been born into the family you were - again, for the most part. There was one particular sibling who you wouldn’t include in those feelings. Unfortunately, toxic people existed and extra unfortunately, sometimes those people were related to you. After four months of being with Corpse, he thought he had come to learn all of who were apart of your family. But then you were reminiscing on a childhood memory and when sharing it with your boyfriend, he heard a name he hadn’t heard before. When he questioned you on it, he noticed the immediate change in you. The smile left your face and you went timid and very quickly, you shifted the conversation topic. You were acting in a way he had never seen you be like before, usually you were so open and talkative and here was a brother you had never mentioned and definitely didn’t want to talk about.
He didn’t push it any further that day, figuring you would tell him when you were ready. That time came in November, on the 25th.
You remembered it well, Corpse was going through his emails when he asked you, “Baby, what’s the date?”
“November twenty-fi-” You cut yourself off.
“What?”
You were silent for a moment, you didn’t realise that Christmas had snuck up this quickly. It was only a month away.
“Baby?”
“Sorry- um,” you glanced to him, giving him a meek smile before continuing,  “it’s November 25th.”
He noticed that shift in you again. “Are you okay?”
And on that day, you opened up to him. Told him about the terrible memories that haunted days that should have and could have been really happy days had it not been for a bullying, negative family member. How now, you seemed to dread Christmas because of this fact.
“Why don’t you just not go?” Corpse had questioned you, he said it as if it was the most clear outcome, but it wasn’t like for you. It was so much easier for him to say that then it was for you to do.
“I couldn’t do that to the rest of my family.”
“Why? You can see them on any other day?”
“It’s Christmas, I couldn’t not go.”
“It’s just the same as any other day if you think about it.” As much as he had cared and listened to you opening up to him, it was hard for him to understand you on this. You grew up in vastly different family dynamics.
“Not to my family, it’s important.”
The two of you continued to go back and forth for a little bit before you realised the stubbornness you both shared wasn’t going to allow you to take in the other’s perspective.
In fact, the two of you didn’t speak about it again until two days before Christmas Eve. You were spending the day together because you were planning on leaving that night to stay at your parents house until boxing day. And as your leaving time was drawing closer and closer, it was visibly clear to Corpse how anxious you were feeling about it.
-
“(Y/N),” he had called for you attention and you looked to him, “I really don’t want you to go.”
A soft smile was offered to him. “I’m going.”
“But I can fucking see how this is affecting you. You’re dreading it, please don’t go.”
You sighed before answering him. “I have to go.”
“No you don’t.”
“I do.”
“Why?”
“Please, Corpse, I don’t want to go over this again. I’m already feeling nervous about it.”
“Then stay with me for Christmas, you won’t have to feel nervous about anything, we can just be here having our own good time.”
You knew he was just trying to be there for you, but it seemed this was not something the two of you could find a common ground on. “It’s not that simple.”
-
But if only it had been that simple. If only you had listened to Corpse. Because you wouldn’t be where you were right now. Sitting in your car with tears running down your face. It was 5:05pm in the afternoon on Christmas Day and you’d made a dash out the front door while everyone else sat down to eat dinner. You had tried your best to stay strong, to ignore your toxic brother but when someone was constantly saying and doing things to try to bring you down, you’d broken. You wished you could pull it together, so you could go back inside for the people you wanted to be with, but you truly couldn’t take it any longer. You would call and apologise to your Mother tomorrow, you felt bad for leaving her the most.
You shouldn’t have been driving in the state you were in, tears kept blurring your vision and your mind was so distracted you knew you really weren’t paying enough attention. But by some miracle, you had made it to where you wanted to be. And in one piece and it wasn’t your own place. You were parked out the front of Corpse’s place and how you just longed to be in his arms right now.
Heavy feet carried you to his front door and before you could get the chance to knock, Corpse had already swung the door open.
“Thought I saw your car pull up- oh, fuck,” His tone was happy at first, surprised with happiness that you were there until he took notice of the state you were in. Your foundation was streaked by the thick and fast tears that had fallen down your cheeks. Your mascara and eyeliner tracked black lines, too. Your nose had the makeup removed from it and it was displaying red due to the amount of times you’d rubbed at it. And oddly enough, a Santa Hat was still sitting atop your head. Corpse had never seen a more gloomy Christmas Hat appearance. “Baby, c’mere.”
He wouldn’t hesitate to stretch out his arms to pull you in close and you so gladly accepted. When you were resting against him, his arms would be holding you so tight and yours clutching at his hoodie he was wearing, he’d kick his foot out to shut the front door once the two of you were inside. Small sobs were already leaving your body, but feeling the familiar and protective grip of Corpse really just made you break more. You were safe here, you were safe with him, you could get out any emotion you needed to, and so you did.
Sobs wracked your entire frame, it was loud, vocal and physical crying. Corpse had seen you cry before, but never like this. It was hurting him to see you so hurt. He was so concerned for you, he didn’t have to ask if you were okay, your display was making it clear you weren’t. When he could start to feel your feet starting to give out and your weight became heavier against him, and he not only heard but also felt you choking on your own cries and starting to really struggle to breathe, he felt the need to do more.
Gently, he’d bring you down to the floor with him. He’d sit with his back against the wall and grab your thighs to have you sit in his lap, your legs straddling him. He would pull you in tight enough so your chest and torso was completely against his, the two of you couldn’t be brought any closer if you tried.
“I need you to try taking some deep breaths for me.” He’d tell you right in your ear, needing you to hear him over your violent cries. And so you did, but each one was uneven and would catch in your throat and make you cough.
His hand would be rubbing big, deliberate, heavy circles into your back with a force to make its presence known, a tactic he hoped would calm you. He was caught off guard to see you like this, but after opening up to him about your toxic sibling and how anxious you had been to be around him again, he wasn’t exactly shocked. He was so concerned for you but a part of him was also furious that someone had treated you in such a terrible way to put you in this state. He now wished he had worked harder in getting you to stay with him, if you were with him, you were safe, he wouldn’t let harm - especially like this - come to you.
“I’m here.” Corpse would assure you with a longing kiss to the side of your head, rocking you back and forth.
And eventually, while sitting there, being cradled in his arms, your cries would quieten, your sobs wouldn’t make you shake so violently and your breathing would return to a more regular state.
“Feel better?” He’d ask you once you reached that more stable point and you’d nod your head from its place against his neck before doing a much needed yawn. “You’re tired?”
“Exhausted.” You’d confirm.
“Should we go lay down?” He was still holding you so strongly and securely but being so gentle with how he spoke to you.
“Yeah, I want to get some painkillers first, though, my head hurts.”
“Want to take off the Santa hat?”
“No.”
“What, why?” Your answer surprised him.
“I’ve had it on all day, I’ll have really bad hat hair.” You admitted and Corpse laughed and had you been in a better mood, you would have joined in on the laughter. But it did lift your spirits to even just simply hear him laugh.
“I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”
“It will be.”
Corpse laughed softly again and shook his head slightly and when he felt you relax against him again, he brought up his hand to quickly pull the hat from your head.
“Hey!” You lifted your head then and he was relieved to see no more build up of tears in your eyes anymore.
“You’ll feel better without it on.” He argued your protest, smiling a small smile and you couldn’t help but to mirror it, which made Corpse elated to see.
“Okay, but don’t you dare look at my hat hair.” You told him and because he knew your eyes were on his, he intentionally lifted his eyes to your hair. “Corpse!” You called his name with a laugh and he was so happy to hear you laugh instead of cry. “Stop it.” You spoke through more giggles and your hands came up to land on your head over your hair until Corpse grabbed your wrists and moved your hands out of the way. “Hey!” Squirming your arms to get your wrists out of his grasp. Once you freed them, you’d place your hands over his eyes.
“Baby, let me look at your beautiful hat hair.”
“No!” You both would laugh then and this time when your boyfriend took hold of your hands to move them off of his eyes, it would be soft and he’d lift them to bring back his vision and bring your hands down a little to place kisses into the palms on each of your hands.
“You know you don’t have to hide anything from me, right?” On the surface, it could’ve sounded like Corpse was talking about just the hat hair, but on a deeper level, he meant this so wholeheartedly, and you understood.
So you’d nod. “I know. Thank you.”
And Corpse knew that once again, when you were ready you’d tell him about what took place on that Christmas Day, but for right now, he didn’t need to know. All he needed to know is that now you were okay and you were safe and you were with him.
“I love you, (Y/N).”
“I love you, too.”
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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years
Text
Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part one
(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)
Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!
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Chilling in Yiling
We start off with Wei Wuxian hanging out in a busy area of Yiling, which is a really dumb place to pick for a fugitive rendezvous.  
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He's wearing a fashionably distressed brown robe, and a woven disguise hat, that makes him invisible to his enemies until the moment he takes it off, kinda like the mask he wears in his second life. Unfortunately he is a polite boi so he takes off the disguise hat when he goes indoors to get a bite to eat, and promptly gets smacked down by Wen Zhuliu. 
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Xiao Zhan's stunt double is really good at this wire-pull+table-smash move; this is the second time Wei Wuxian goes crashing through a table (the first one being when Yu Ziyuan was beating him). This time he clutches his now core-less abdomen, in a move we're going to be seeing a lot of, going forward. Abdominal surgery is a bitch. OP can personally attest to this.
Wen Zhuliu provides some comic relief by looking at his hand in puzzlement; he clearly can tell Wei Wuxian has no golden core, but he isn't going to bother telling Wen Chao that.
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Wen Chao gloats and steps on Wei Wuxian's hand while Wei Wuxian stares at his shoe and OP wonders, not for the first time, how they make rubberized zig-zag treads in Ancient Fantasy China.
(more after the cut)
This is all happening in the Yiling Wine house where Wei Wuxian will later share the most important meal of his life, the one in which A-Yuan lays claim to Lan Wangji, ultimately giving LWJ a reason to live long enough for Wei Wuxian to be resurrected. If that doesn’t deserve a good Yelp review, nothing does. 
Dream a Little Dream of Me
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While Wei Wuxian gets ready for his big whump scene, Jiang Cheng is dreaming, and looking absolutely breathtaking in this deceptively simple robe, that's made of a really complex fabric, that catches the light all over its surface.  The lighting here is warm and romantic, giving everything a nostalgic glow.
He looks around the courtyard in his dream, and sees Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian come running in the gate carrying kites. 
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A child fetching a kite was the first casualty of the Wen attack on Lotus Pier, so this image may already be a little fraught for Jiang Cheng. In this initial image of his family, Jiang Cheng isn't present as a child, but then his junior self comes running up, to be warmly greeted by his mother.
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Jiang Cheng's reaction to the scene playing out in front of him is not a simple one. We've seen him externally expressing his trauma at the fate of Lotus Pier and his family - his anger and his despair - and this dream shows us his private, interior trauma. 
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His body has been repaired by Wei Wuxian and the Wens, but his psyche has not.
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This family interaction can't possibly be one that ever happened. It's too lively, too affectionate, too comfortable. The family he was part of as a young adult was cold, angry, cracked.  Families don't change that much in 10 years, unless there's a major trauma that alters things in a fundamental way.
Even the glimpses we got of his childhood contradict this image. This warm group is not the family of "I sent your dogs away" or "wait in the cold until Jiang Cheng lets you in" or "I won't tell Clan Leader Jiang what happened" or "I'm only 11 but I'm in charge of soup and bedtime already"
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Jiang Cheng smiles at the affection he sees enacted in front of him, but quickly moves to grief. When a toxic person dies, you don't just lose the relationship you had with them; you lose the hope for a better relationship. Perhaps Jiang Cheng has always imagined this version of his family; now nothing like it can ever come to be.
The pleasant scene vanishes into nightmare, as his mother starts bleeding from her eyes, ew. This is like Nie Mingjue when he qi deviates, but dream Yu Ziyuan is perfectly chill about it. 
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Jiang Cheng is not perfectly chill about it. 
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He turns around to see Lotus Pier burning. When he turns back, his family has been replaced with Wen Zhuliu, who is particularly gleeful as he reaches into Jiang Cheng's chest and melts his core.
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Jiang Cheng wakes up on the mountain, alone (as far as he knows), and quickly stands and boots up his new golden core.
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It's purple, because of course it is. King. The nightmare is gone and he smiles, maybe for the first time since the attack on the pier.
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In a moment that is probably going to feel really embarrassing in hindsight, he kneels and bows toward the mountaintops to thank Baoshan Sanren, who is totally not there. 
Wen Ning, on the other hand, is there, although we only see a little bit of his belt and robe as Jiang Cheng walks off to Yiling to meet his brother.  This entire plotline walks a very weird line in which the audience is told just enough about what’s really happening to be confused, but not surprised.
Do the Whumpty Whump
After some initial roughing up, Wen Chao has his dudes stand Wei Wuxian up so he can question him without actually getting any information out of him at all. They take turns calling each other dogs, with Wei Wuxian saying that when Wen Chao talks he just hears a dog barking. (Of course if he really heard a dog barking he'd be terrified) 
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Then he says "isn't that right" to Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Chao gets super pissed; don't disrespect me to my woman. 
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He has his minions do a Nancy Kerrigan to Wei Wuxian's knee and then kick him for a while.
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Then they kick the shit out of the camera operator.
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Wen Chao is really not about fighting his own fights.  He also keeps threatening to have Wen Zhuliu melt Wei Wuxian's core, and Wen Zhuliu keeps popping up his hand and then putting it back when Wen Chao changes his mind, which gets more hilarious every time I watch it. Feng Mingjing’s physical embodiment of Wen Zhuliu is endlessly entertaining, even in scenes where he has literally no lines. 
I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost
Wei Wuxian continues to goad Wen Chao, telling him that more torture is good because then he'll die with loads of resentment. He says that after he dies, he will come back as a ferocious ghost, which is...almost exactly what happens, except he stays alive for the ferocious part. 
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They go back and forth about the feasibility of this whole haunting plan. Wang Lingjiao is the voice of reason, for once, arguing the "ghosts aren't real and anyway fuck this guy" position.
Wen Chao thinks that he can’t haunt them because of cultivator security hardening procedures soul-calming rituals, but Wei Wuxian wasn't born into a gentry family so didn't have the anti-fierce-ghost treatment that other cultivators get.
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This is the only time in the whole of the show when Wei Wuxian says, himself, that he's the son of a servant. He's using his reputation as a commoner to bolster his threats. 
Wei Wuxian is working hard to put on a scary-guy persona, which works pretty well on Wang Lingjiao but not as much on the rest of the group. Three months from this time, however, he will have become the scary, vengeful creature he's currently spitballing about.  He will also become way, way better at torture than the people who are currently mistreating him. 
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Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao go through a whole sequence of ideas about what to do with him. For whatever reason Wang Lingjiao doesn't insist on chopping his arm off even though she's been craving it for ages. 
She does gleefully burn his burn some more, causing it to bleed directly into the giant obvious bag he has hanging from his belt leaking resentful energy. Which the Wens do not take away or search.
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Wen Chao, incidentally, starts calling him Wei Ying during this encounter, which is rude of him. Tch.  Finally Wen Chao decides on a plan, which involves sword-flying effects so terrible that no soul can survive them.
Jiang Cheng is looking for Wei Wuxian in town, wearing a woven hat like Wei Wuxian’s.  This...is not a disguise. If you want to be inconspicuous, maybe take that giant piece of silver off of your head.
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He hears random people talking about the Wens being in town, and then he apparently looks up at the sky and sees the Wen dudes flying on their swords with Wei Wuxian, but it looks so ridiculous that Jiang Cheng's mind cannot process what he is seeing.
While they "fly," Wen Chao delivers a massive brick of exposition about the burial mounds, while Wei Wuxian looks genuinely frightened. The VFX of random, undifferentiated mountaintops and clouds do nothing to sell this menace, but the exposition is actually pretty good, creating a real sense of disturbance and threat.
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Then they toss him in, and we go from the terrible VFX of sword flying to a visual effect that they mercifully did really well throughout the show - the black resentment smoke. This time it catches Wei Wuxian and holds him for a few moments, before dropping him the rest of the way to the ground. It also apparently pulls the turtle sword out of his belt bag, but we don't see that part.
They Say That Every Man Must Fall
Having seen Wei Wuxian at his lowest point (so far) and dream Jiang Cheng also in deep distress, we go to the Dafan Wen sibs, who have also reached a breaking point. Because they helped Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, they are traitors to their clan - unquestionably so - and are being punished for it, with Wen Ning having been tortured in addition to being locked up.
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I see my light come shining From the west down to the east Any day now, any day now I shall be released
You know how Lan Xichen successfully argued for Wen-Clan-Member Meng Yao's life and status, because Meng Yao betrayed Wen Ruohan to help them? Even though Meng Yao killed a bunch of Nie guys? Wen Ning and Wen Qing also betrayed Wen Ruohan and helped the Sunshot Campaign, without killing a bunch of guys. They should have been treated as allies by the four other clans, but they got diddly.  
I’ve Been Dead Once
We return to Wei Wuxian in the burial grounds, where he's lying on the ground surrounded by resentful energy and by strained, desperate voices calling his name. This whole sequence is remarkable, since it effectively communicates the horror he's experiencing, through little more than Xiao Zhan's face and good sound design.
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I hang around dying to be tortured  You'll never be alone in the bone orchard
The voices call four versions of his name. A variety of voices call him Wei Wuxian, Wei Gongzi, and Shixiong, which (I think) is what the young Jiang disciples would have called him. And in the midst of those voices, Lan Wangji's voice, low and calm, saying "Wei Ying." Upon hearing that Wei Wuxian starts to drag himself up.
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For a show with definitely no zombies in it, they sure do use the visual language of zombie films for Wei Wuxian's first motions after hitting the ground. Starting with twitching fingers, then gradually pulling himself halfway up and crawling, lurching across the ground. Wei Wuxian comes slowly back to life, the very first member of his army of the dead.
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He makes his way across the ground toward the floating turtle sword. Along the way he accidentally grabs the world's most bowlegged thigh bone; the lack of sunshine in the burial mounds puts the skeletons at risk for rickets.  All of the skeletons in the show are exactly what you would expect from the practical effects team that made the demon hand and the animatronic dog.
The turtle sword is roiling with resentful energy, and is talking to Wei Wuxian as he crawls toward it, asking if he wants revenge. And what a coincidence, he DOES want revenge. 
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He grabs the sword and plunges it into the ground in an explosion of resentful energy. (Ground: why you gotta take it out on me?)
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The sequence ends with the most compelling, ominous shot of Wei Wuxian's face...a new man. 
Soundtrack: 1. I Shall Be Released by Bob Dylan 2. Beyond Belief by Elvis Costello  
Writing Prompt: The Day Wei Wuxian arrived, from the POV of a Burial Mounds ghost. 
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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years
Note
Hi! I hope you’ll answer this question bc it bothers me quite a lot.. https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-mean-now-that-BTS-are-partial-owners-of-Big-Hit-Entertainment do you think it is true what the second person (Christine Herman) said? After reading this, i started to wonder…what if BTS does really have only profit in mind while doing new projects these days? Maybe they don’t really care anymore about creative and meaningful lyrics and sound? With Butter and PTD…all this generic music sung in English. Of course they say “we wanted to make fans feel good”, “butter and ptd represent who we are” and all these things fans want to hear but.. do you really think it’s true? moreover, don’t get me wrong, i don’t find product placement in their reality shows as something terrible, i believe this is a normal thing, however, nowadays the members really film ads and do marketing a lot. so yeah, for some reason i began to question their integrity dhsjjss i hope you will understand from where my concerns come from and won’t find this ask stupid sjdjjdjd
After reading that persons answer I can immediately tell you that I basically don't agree with an overwhelming majority of what she said (even more so since a lot of it just makes her sound like a manti that hates the company and basically would want them to make music for free or something). Generally I don’t agree with most of the opinions this person holds, and also Quora really isn’t a good source for info or good opinions, most of it is written by mantis, haters, and toxic shippers with an agenda so most ARMY will tell you to stay as far away from that website as possible.
Anyway, her focus in that answer was on money, since BTS are shareholders (and how that’s a conflict of interest despite other artists doing the exact thing but no one really cares or ever thinks about it), but what she failed to consider and note was that Big Hit Music, so BTS' label, isn't part of HYBE in the sense that shareholding has no baring on it since BHM is private. So while BTS profit off of HYBE doing well, and have a small percentage of a voice as shareholders, that has nothing to do with BHM in the classical sense, even if BHM's earnings reflect well on HYBE numbers and the shareholder money. 
BHM was made private to ensure their artistry would remain untouched, that was the whole point of that.
Even if they weren't HYBE shareholders, take Namjoon as example. He has more than 170 KOMCA credits, is among the top 3 Korean artists with the most credits and is also the youngest of them all. It is said that his earnings from that alone can sustain his family for 3 generations over. Look at Hobi and Chicken Noodle Soup, that song was a hit and he paid the original creator of that song 2 million dollars upfront and earned a lot back due to how successful it was. Same goes for Hope World which, again, was and is still immensely successful. Look at Yoongi and his work both as prod. SUGA, featuring artist SUGA, and as Agust D, as well as the credits he holds for his work on BTS songs (giving him as well a total of over 100 KOMCA credits, just like Hobi). Bangtan have worked and continue to work extremely hard for their music, put their heart and souls into it, and it shows even if their style changed as they grew older and more mature.
Yes, money is a major motivator, but looking at the above paragraph, do you really peg the members as these corrupt money hungry sellouts with no music related integrity? Who would need to sign major deals and would throw away their passion to just release empty shells of music for the sole reason of money? Am I naive enough to believe that they don't care about money? Of course not, we live in a capitalist society and even if BTS wouldn't care about money anymore at this point, HYBE very much does, and yet still I can't find it in me to agree with any of what was said in that answer that person wrote.
More below the cut:
And that point about how Hyundai cars were sold out because of BTS, isn't that the point why literally any company ever hires celebrities to advertise and endorse their product? And sure, again, I'm certain they earned a lot on these deals, they aren't the first or last or only ones in the history of ever to do so. Besides, look at JK and what he's done for small companies, or Tae who wore a brooch made my a small creator at the airport which catapulted that creator into the eyes of millions of ARMYs enough so that they could move to a proper studio and earn money with their work. Or the modern hanboks JK wore which led to the brand being able to move into actual stores in malls because of their sudden new popularity and demand. Or him wearing a bracelet that helps whales with a percentage of the money from the sales of said bracelet. And for all of that JK and Tae didn't earn any money at all. JK himself said that he's more conscious of the brand he wears now because he wants to help smaller businesses in these trying times, not because they pay him to do so (especially since they would never be able to afford that), but because he's aware of the influence he has and how he can use it to help others. Sound very much like a capitalistic villain, right?
As for the product placement bit, have you been on YouTube recently? Have you noticed that many, if not most, YouTube videos by “bigger” creators (and by that I mean even people who are around the 100k subscriber mark) begin with them thanking whoever sponsored that particular video and give you a scripted minute to two minute long ad before getting into the actual topic of the video? And In The SOOP featuring Chilsung Cider, FILA clothes and the random mention of how good Samsung phones are isn’t much different from it, though really, if you’re not someone interested in fashion much, would you really notice or care that they wore FILA? It’s just...clothes? If it weren’t a BTS related show, would you even notice it much? And it’s not even like they mentioned those brands every five minutes or anything, just a few times, which sure sounded a bit out of place at times, but personally I thought it was easy to look past. That’s just how things work nowadays and it’s odd for people to behave like somehow BTS are the first and only ones to use product placements despite literally every movie and show doing it in subtle and less so manners.
The answer by that person you sent also mentioned the Hyundai song for their car IONIQ and, unsurprisingly, that person wrote it off as just some commercial jingle but I’d actually disagree with that. Not to sound like a Hyundai and Samsung stan, which I am neither of, but I actually think those two knew best how to utilize the artist they have spent millions on signing a deal with. Hyundai didn’t just write them off as pretty faces with a millions strong fan army behind them and that’s it, they remembered that they are musicians so they gave them a song and made a whole music video for it as well. And say what you will, it is a good song. Then, just a few days ago, Samsung stepped up their game and we were given Over The Horizon Prod by SUGA of BTS. For those who aren’t Samsung users, Over The Horizon is their signature ringtone and basically their company sound, and over the years different artists were asked to make their own version of it. And this time they reached out to Yoongi and asked if he’d like to do it as well. It’s kind of a big deal. Sure, Butter is used in one of their commercials much the way Dynamite was last year, but that’s beside the point. Would that person make the same claim about Imagine Dragons whose song Believer is also part of the ads for the new Samsung phones? I have my doubts.
Furthermore, and I don't want this to come across as mean toward you but, I think it is uncalled for to question their artistic integrity based on a total of 3 (three) English songs when last year alone we received 50+ songs, most of which were in Korean, among them the entirety of BE which was, according to the members, the album they were most involved in ever when it comes to both music and everything around it.
You can dislike their English songs, that’s more than fine, they have a very extensive discography you can listen to instead, but questioning their integrity based on them doing something that most, if not every, artist on their level does (as in sign ad deals with brands etc) is a bit much if you ask me. Does that mean indie artists whose songs get picked up for commercials (or for Netflix shows or movies) and thus it catapults them into the mainstream are also just money hungry people with no integrity and ones who don’t care about their music? Or is that, again, just a standard Bangtan is held to (as in that their integrity is questioned based on everything, even the most trivial/normal things) that only applies to them and no one else?
In the recent Weverse Magazine article about how Permission to Dance came to be there is a lot of talk about not only that song but also Butter and Dynamite, among the things being discussed and talked about they mentioned how the original lyrics for Butter were much more materialistic but that the members didn't like that so they asked for that to be changed. Likewise the original lyrics for Permission to Dance, as you'd expect from the penmanship of Ed Sheeran, were much more romantic, almost proposal like, which wasn't what the members wanted either so it was, again, adjusted in a way that would fit what they, as well as the A&R team, wanted. While you may not like these songs, they still had a say in them to a certain degree, could say yes or no and ask for adjustments. Why else would PTD take eight months?
While they might outsource their English songs, their main focus, so their Korean (as well as Japanese) discography is still centered around them, their lyrics, their songs, their sound. Of course you’ll also find outside producers and some lyricists on those as well, because that’s how music works these days, as in collaboratively, that doesn’t change anything at large. Their integrity is still very much there, their hearts are still in it, what other reason would any of them have to say that they want to continue for a long time, for Yoongi to say they want to figure out how to make their career last as long as possible, for JK to say that he wants to sing forever?
Admin 2 also wanted me to add that in their opinion, to a certain degree (though not fully of course), their English songs are like a way to laugh at and expose how shallow the English-centric music industry is. As in, while they made music in Korean with deep and meaningful lyrics, the US industry didn’t care but once they switched to easy to listen to sound with easy to understand English lyrics, they suddenly paid attention, are played on the radio, and even received a Grammy nomination which they wouldn’t have gotten for a Korean song ( A1: regardless how much Black Swan or Spring Day really would’ve deserved it...). 
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writingindulgence · 3 years
Text
Illumi x F.Reader - Expectation
Pairing: Illumi x Female Reader
Story tags: Arranged marriage, typical Zoldyck behaviour, angst-ish, heavy manipulation, ILLUMI, unhealthy one-sided dependence : ) my guy just toxic
3,200+ words and why? I don’t even like the dude. Also, two points of view.
The sound of fancy porcelain tea cups clinking against the glass table is soothing, along with the warm rays shining on your face. Times like these are what you are thankful for. The smell of purposely picked flowers, arranged to please the eyes. Not the stench of trash dumped for the sole convenience of other countries. Colourful butterflies and bees, instead of flies and disease ridden rats. A home cooked meal ready for your consumption rather than scraps of rotting food that you more often than not nearly died for.
Kukuroo mountain is infinitely more beautiful compared to Meteor City.
“(Y/n) dear, it’s unbecoming of you to make noise with your tableware,” a powerful feminine voice chastates your mistake. The woman sitting opposite you is none other than Kikyo Zoldyck. Or as she forces you to call her, mother.
Your heart flutters in relief, an apologetic expression weaving onto your face. She must be in an agreeable mood since her fan hasn’t struck your hand. Sometimes you are let off with a warning if she spots a blunder on your part. Sometimes, she resorts to physical punishment. It always depends on whether or not a family member said anything to ruin her day. In fact, any matter concerning Killua will set her off in a positive or negative direction.
Just like Illumi whenever you bring up his younger brother.
“I apologise mother, I’m too excited because Illumi is returning,” you proceed to take a sip and this time around, gently settle the tea cup down.
A content hum comes from her direction, her visor flashing for a split second. “Oh (Y/n), you’ll make such a good wife one day.” She picks up a fork gracefully and stabs it into the cake she asked for from the family cook.
The compliment ignites a multitude of feelings in your chest. It spreads out, only one thought in your mind.
How immensely grateful and happy you are to hear it.
Many of your friends from when you were young, starved to death. Some were beaten up by other desperate residents. Others lost their will to fight, a state you threaded on a magnitude of times.
Being taken away by the mafia one day was what gave you back the spark, a life in the city no more out of your reach. Until you figured out what type of work they wanted to sell you and other kids for. Stories from the older girls back in Meteor City came rushing back.
Your bloodlust and instinct to survive are what happened to change your life for the better. Out of all the line-up of children, you were selected by the Zoldycks. Instead of being the pet of some old pervert, you found a home within the assassin family.
There were many times when you felt like giving up. When the training you went through was worse than simply dying. However, you promised yourself to never throw away the chance you received all those years back.
You were indebted to the Zoldycks.
Hearing words of encouragement from one of the people you looked up to the most brought tears to your eyes. You wiped them away with your thumb.
Mother is a role model to you. It helped when you found out that she originates from Meteor City too. In a sense, it is easier to place yourself in her shoes and strive to achieve what she did. Being an amazing assassin, wife and mother.
A sudden scraping of a chair brought you back to the presence, startling you into a defensive pose. The knife under your sundress clasped in your hand.
Out of the corner of your eye you notice Kalluto coming out from behind the bushes, his paper fan also ready for action.
“My Kil, what is he doing?! Quick, we have to stop him. Kalluto go call for Milluki right now!,” she orders shrilly before running into the mansion.
Without hesitation, you rush after her. It is expected of you. A nagging feeling in the back of your head also foreshadows that whatever is going on, it will have dire consequences if not stopped.
Killua is in the foyer, being kept idle by the servants. But not for long. You can see the irritation growing on his face, his muscles tensed.
You’ve known Killua since he was a baby, having been inducted as a future family member when mother was pregnant with him. There’s no doubt that if something wasn’t done, it would lead to a messy aftermath.
A few seconds after you make it inside, Milluki shows up and the servants are all dismissed.
“Kil, my little Kil, what’s wrong? Why did I hear that you’re leaving to take the Hunter’s Exam?,” mother’s voice is aghast, the idea of her favourite child abandoning the nest filling her with pain.
You too are taken aback at the news, a protective sensation coursing through you. Your fingers flex at your side.
“It’s boring here and I heard that the Exam is difficult so I’m going to test my skill,” he shrugs her worry off and spins his skateboard. Your heart begins to pound uncontrollably.
Hearing the disrespect, Milluki steps up and lashes out at Killua. “You brat, what’s with that arrogant attitude you-,”
“Stop that!,” mother’s voice sharply cuts him down.
She begins pleading with Killua to stay, her voice cracking multiple times. It pains you to watch someone you respect growing so desperate.
Killua is too young to understand what he’s putting the ones around him through. Of course, a rebellious phase is healthy-
A prickly discomfort surges through your head and you clutch it. Your unexpected movement grabs everyone’s attention. You try to brush it off, not wishing to be a burden.
It isn’t expected of you to be one.
“Killua, you should stay here. The world is a dangerous place,” your words try to reach him. “Illumi is coming home today,  why don’t we-”,
“I don’t want him around! Just leave me alone,” he angrily interrupts. The air grows heavy. Heavier than it’s been since the beginning.
Mother gasps in shock at his behaviour since Killua never really yells at you. Yes, he gets annoyed as much as any other kid but when he shouts, he doesn’t really mean it.
It’s expected of you to coerce him into calming down.
“You’ve changed during the past few weeks (Y/n), after Illumi came back before leaving again. Anyway, I will kill you all if you try to stop me,” Killua promises in a cold voice, his blue eyes a piercing ice.
This rouses an onslaught of insults from Milluki and a mix of agony and happiness from mother.
However, you’re currently stuck in your own mind, reflecting on Killua’s comment. It is true that during the past three weeks you doted on him more than ever before. Usually you try to split your attention between him and Kalluto when you have free time. What changed?
Nothing should have changed, Killua is the priority of the family.
A high-pitched scream echoes around the foyer and your clouded head awakens. The sight in front of you freezes your blood and it takes immense strength not to bite your tongue.
Mother is kneeling down on the ground, her hands covering her bloody face. Before you can take a step, Milluki rages and charges at Killua. The young boy bounces back and proceeds to plunge the knife into his older brother. Milluki curses and grabs his wound.
On impulse, your hand is already equipped with a knife and you’re ready to protect yourself as well as mother Killua.
Killua mistakes your movements as an attack and strikes his own knife across your arm. A long gash appears on your skin, the blood seeping out moments later. You take in the pain as punishment. Punishment for letting it get this far and failing.
You’re a failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.
Taking the chance to escape, he kicks his skateboard up and runs out.
And you were helpless to stop him.
*
It’s been a while since Illumi has been back home on Kukuroo mountain, his previous mission requiring him to travel across multiple locations. The target was a cautious person so they moved from place to place, leaving lousy decoys. That did not impede Illumi at all, it was simply an inconvenience at worst.
After all, nervous-wrecks are the ones who put their emotions out on display. They are the first to slip up due to the fact that they care about others.
Which is concerning because Killua is at a stage where he is showing his rebellious streak more often. It is crucial that he can snuff it out before his dear brother falls further down the slope of idiotic fantasies . In which case, it is a slight relief that (Y/n) is here. She tries to keep Killua in check in a subtle way instead of hanging over his shoulder or perpetuating his moody behaviour.
Though the last time he visited there were hints of her growing soft and losing her devotion of raising Killua to be the next head of the family. He is ashamed to confess that it irked him to some degree. It’s expected of her to put her desires down for what he wants. And he wants Killua to be the next head.
Even so, he thought that he dealt with this the last time.
However, imagine the surprise he felt when his mother came wailing to him, begging him to follow her little Kil to the Hunter’s Exam. To think that instead of a joyful family reunion, the news of his stray younger brother reached his ears before anything else.
That won’t do.
Currently, it’s close to midnight which is the time (Y/n) comes to his room to say goodnight. Why she even bothers is beyond him. The effort of keeping up with formalities could be used for better activities. It’s already indisputable that they are arranged to marry in the future at the request of his parents, so there is no reason to be close together in any romantic sense.
In fact, Killua will succeed as the head which is why there is no point in thinking about his own future.
A sigh leaves his mouth.
There is only one positive outcome that came out of this whole arrangement. He has an extra set of eyes and he’s sure that she will listen to him without question. All he has to do is play into these formalities and she’s wrapped around his finger.
An affectionate hug here, a tiny smile there...Normally he’d be concerned that a future Zoldyck , even if not by blood, would be so easy to deceive. However, since every carefully planned step is coming from him he’s not surprised in the slightest.
It’s expected of (Y/n) to be loyal, just as much as it’s expected for Killua to take over the family business.
The wooden clock hanging opposite his bed strikes 12 but there is no sign of (Y/n). She never runs late.
The fact that she hadn’t even greeted him when he came back is also unusual. Normally she’d be pacing in front of the entrance door but today his mother took over that role. He heard that she got injured by Killua but (Y/n) has experienced worse so what’s the fuss?
It’s not his problem, he’ll just take a bath before bed. She’ll come running eventually.
~
Illumi’s right arm is beginning to grow numb. He hasn’t moved from the water in over an hour. Not because he needed a break to relax, taking time off for yourself is inefficient. No, he hasn’t moved because he’s been waiting for the familiar steps and hesitant knock to come from outside his room.
Discerning who someone is from the sound of their footsteps and how they carry themselves is second nature to any professional assassin. For instance, Milluki hovers in one spot when walking while Kalluto creates soft patters with his toes.
On the other hand, (Y/n) always shuffles her feet forward just before his door. It takes her approximately 2 seconds to knock when she’s unsure, 1 second when she’s in a normal mood and 0.5 whenever she has news deemed worthy enough for him to hear. Reading the mood of someone before they see you face to face is important.
Coming to terms with the fact that today she won’t pay him a visit, he steps out of the bathtub, water dripping down his naked body. He throws on a plain black bathrobe and leaves the bathroom. Giving his bed a quick-over, he walks out the door.
Guess it’s time for him to pay a visit instead.
If he actually bothers and gives it some thought, it’s not a mystery as to why he hasn’t even seen her shadow today. She’s ashamed. Ashamed of being a failure for letting Killua go.
Her scrambled mind is most likely trying to piece together what she should say. How she should ask for forgiveness and repent.
He wonders if she’s starving herself or if she’s contemplating about going to the self-confinement room.
Normally he’d push her into whatever she makes up but a stick approach by itself won’t be enough. There needs to be a push and pull factor involved if he wants her to listen to him unconditionally.
And what better way than to appear before her, disheveled and still wet in his robe? She’ll jump to conclusions.
Further guilt will set in, how she unnecessarily worried him by skipping the usual goodnight. His state will continue feeding her imagination, connecting unrelated dots to make her believe that he cares for her.
Truly, a puppet and its real master.
Soaking footprints follow behind him on the floor, the dim candlelight making them difficult to notice. He knocks once before letting himself in and shutting the door, back turned to the only other person inside.
A small gasp penetrates the silence and a rush of steps follow suit, stopping just behind him.
“Illumi, welcome back,” (Y/n) is the first to speak. He stays silent.
A nervous shuffle. “Is..everything okay?”.
The voice quietens downs the more she speaks. That should be enough for now.
He turns around and looks down at her concerned face, with no emotion of his own. Her eyes widen a fraction after registering his condition. Before she can open her mouth to question him further, Illumi crinkles his eyes and smiles.
“It’s nothing. I was just worried since I didn’t see you today,” he gazes away, giving her enough time to fix her expression. It’ll be harder for him to get her to open up if she thinks that he sees through her lack of control.
“I missed you too-,”
Presumptuous to think that he missed her.
“-and I’m sorry for not saying anything. I just…,” she stops right before confessing her shortcoming.
He doesn’t provide her with any more time to compose herself, a full day is already generous. Grabbing the door handle he gives it a slight tug but her hand shuts it and pulls his sleeve. That’s new. (Y/n) rarely takes the initiative.
He allows her to drag him over to the bed, slightly curious about her next move. Is she trying to entertain him as an apology or simply trying to put distance between him and the door?
Both tactics aren’t half bad when it comes to simple targets.
He sits down on the covers and analyses her.
A long white nightdress, face ready for bed, barefoot, and a long knife wound going up her arm.
A shred of pride for Killua’s work passes through his head but he doesn’t showcase this. If by any chance she spotted the look, it would demolish the picture he wants to paint.
(Y/n) kneels down in front of him and takes his hand into hers. It’s warm, though not as soft as it used to be. Her breasts rest atop his knees.
His attention migrates from the sudden action to her face, looking for answers. He made sure that she will only expect affection coming from him, not the other way around. It would be too tiring to keep up a loving demeanour- no, scratch that. It wouldn’t be tiring but the expectations would eventually rise and it would result in less time spent on bringing up Killua.
Oh, he zoned out.
(Y/n)’s eyes are full of regret and desperation, the hand holding his trembling just enough to tell him that today’s event is eating at her. Is she waiting for him to say something?
Finally after what feels like an unprecedented amount of time, the scene unfolds.
Her smaller hand pulls his to her face and rests it against her cheek. The second his skin touches hers, he detects slight heat radiating. She must have not treated the cut. The knife was probably dirty too, Killua slacks off in that regard.
“I’m sorry for being a failure, I’m very sorry Illumi. I have no excuse,” the apology flows out of her mouth, bottom lip quivering. The pain of looking at someone she disappointed forces her eyes to shut close. Her free hand latches onto his thigh and she digs in before continuing.
“You can slash my other arm as punishment. Or hang me upside down in the self-containment room,” she throws out. “But please, please don’t give up on me. I can do better Illumi”.
And as if to prove how determined she is, her eyes open up again, staring deeply into his own. Unwavering. Confident.
Though the thumb that he has under her jaw gave the hammering pulse away.
1,2,3. 1,2. 1,2,3.
He stretched out the silence, pretending to ponder over his answer. The unsettling emotions influencing her thoughts will prove beneficial when he flips her assumption around.
He removes his hand from her cheek and moves the one on his thigh to her side. (Y/n) adopts a look of relief, believing that he agreed to her conditions of punishment. What he’s about to do is infinitely more cruel though.
She catches her breath when he follows her example and kneels in front of her. He pulls up the sleeve of her nightdress that’s slipping down before grabbing her shoulders, gently.
“How can I not give up on you when you give up on yourself,” he lectures her, peeking down at her wound. Make the target question their actions.
An expression of remorse adorns her face, a downward tug of the mouth.
He pulls her in, arms encircling and resting on her lower back. The material of the nightdress is light enough for him to make out the feeling of skin.
“Though I won’t give up on you.” Affirmation and a moment of reassurance.
One of his hands travels deliberately slowly up to her neck. It rests on the back of her head, fingers entangled in her hair. Illumi locates the present that he left her the last time he visited and pushes it back into her head. It has moved slightly out.
This prompts (Y/n) to hug him in response, her previously hanging arms now resting comfortably around him. Good, as for the finishing line.
“Though your failure is a disappointment, I know that you will not repeat the same mistake, because you
love me, right?”.
Her head moves to rest between the crook of his neck, nodding in agreement. She doesn’t ask him if he loves her.
It’s expected of her not to.
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novelconcepts · 3 years
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Do you think the parallels between Jamie and Peter goes deeper than their shared trauma? In episode 3, when Rebecca asks Peter why is he here, one of his replies was "to leave behind more than I took" and then in episode 6 during Jamie's monologue, she says "we leave more life behind us to take our place". I might be overthinking but I can't get over the similarities between the two of them.
Oh yes--they’re explicitly built to be narrative foils to one another. I’ve got a long write-up buried somewhere in my meta tag about it, but just about every step of the road is about placing Jamie and Peter side by side. Both born to low-class families that result in neglect and abuse. Both doing jobs that can be boiled down to “the help”. Both fall in love with the au pair. 
And that’s where they deviate. Peter is fixated, always, on how to climb the ladder. Resentful of his station in life, resentful of his parents, resentful of the rest of the house for believing they could ever belong and be a family. He is pure manipulation from start to finish--manipulate the kids, to look good to Rebecca; manipulate via flowers and gentle touch, via backhanded comments on her appearance and straight-up lies about “leaving more behind that I took” (when, in fact, he takes, and takes, leaving nothing behind but a ghost with exactly the same urges he had in life). Peter is a thief. Peter steals flowers that don’t belong to him, luxury items he has no right to, Rebecca--both in life, hiding her away in the old wing, and in death, murdering her outright. Peter’s love is a photograph: unchanging, unwilling to bend, freezing a moment in time until time itself washes it away. 
Jamie is the opposite in every way. Where Peter takes, Jamie gives--reassurances and kindness, genuine reactions that are not fabricated to look good. Jamie doesn’t see the kids as a means to an end--she speaks to and of them like an affectionately-grumpy family member, one who loves them very much, but also doesn’t have the patience. Jamie doesn’t dig up flowers because they look pretty and can be used to her advantage; she specifically tends them, is fully aware of when they are and aren’t ready to be cut. Jamie doesn’t look at Dani and see someone to own; where Peter lurks outside Rebecca’s room like a ghost, Jamie sleeps on the couch without a word. Where Peter grabs wordlessly for Rebecca with their first kiss, Jamie leans back and asks if Dani is sure. When Dani asks her to stay, Jamie promises there will be other nights, gently taking and then releasing her hands in a direct parallel to Peter grabbing Rebecca and trying to force her to remain in bed. Jamie’s love is a story: growing, breathing, changing details in each telling, a living thing in its own right that can be passed down and shared without ever fading to nothing.  The show, in short, takes two “low-born” people with a history of/tendency toward the wrong kind of love and/or actual crime--and says, “Okay, but here’s a healthy way of coping (therapy, communication, honest respect) and a toxic way of running (stealing, abuse, manipulation).” I think I said the last time I was asked that Peter would kill to stave off loneliness, and Jamie would die for it, and those are such opposites that their respective partners reach such different endings. Both in the lake. Both lost to the water. But Rebecca’s is by force and Dani’s is by choice; Rebecca is tricked into dying alone, and is trapped for it, and Dani actively chooses to do so, if it means saving Jamie’s life. It’s parallel, but opposite, literally all the way down. 
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Guys, I wanna gush about Yondu and Peter because fuck it. Do you know how long it’s been since Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2? Four years. Do you know what that movie managed to do? It managed to w r e c k me, and I’m still not over it four years after the fact. I’m not into the MCU anymore, but some of the stories an characters have stayed with me and I still revisit them often because of how beautiful they were. 
Tony Stark will always have a big place in my heart. Thor will always give me warm fuzzy feels. But Peter and Yondu? FUCK ME. 
They’re not my favorite characters - or at least, they’re not meant to be. I barely remember the first GotG and I’ve watched it like three times, but it just doesn’t stick. I wasn’t that into the Guardians subplot in Infinity War. But GotG Vol.2..... It’s something special. 
Yondu and Peter have one of the best, most touching, most complex, most interesting relationships of the whole MCU, and that’s what makes it stick out. Tumblr often loves for relationships to be simple. You’ve got the abusers and the victims, and you should cut abusers out of your life forever and be better for it. Past trauma doesn’t justify projecting it onto your family members, hurting a child can never be forgiven, etc, etc.
And Yondu and Peter’s relationship yeets that simplistic worldview out of the viewport, and my heart with it. Yondu is a piece of trash, sure, 100% true. Yondu beat Peter up. Kidnapped him. Scarred him for life. Made him grow up in the worst environment possible and hurt him in the hopes to toughen him up so he’d survive. Yondu hurt Peter horribly because he was perpetrating a cycle of abuse and neglect he didn’t have the tools to break - we’re talking about a man raised and used as a battle slave from infancy to adulthood - and Stakar was too late to balance that out with his mentorship. So Yondu was messed up, and while he learned to love Peter he didn’t have the means to express it meaningfully, and so he messed Peter up.
Yondu wasn’t what Peter needed, Yondu did abuse Peter, and Peter was right to get away from the Ravagers and to find healing and love and family elsewhere. But it wasn’t the end of the story. And in real life too, it doesn’t need to be the end of the story.
Because Yondu is and has always been aware that he was a terrible parent, and a terrible person, and that Peter is in fact better off without him. And Yondu is sorry, and he wants to make things right while also being painfully aware that he doesn’t deserve to. (And he doesn’t. Nobody ‘deserves’ the forgiveness of the people they’ve hurt.) But he still tries to protect Peter. And he still dies for Peter, which is the single greatest act of love. And even more than that - he goofs around with Peter. He makes himself soft for him - the one unforgiveable sin in the eyes of his crew, the thing that provoked a mutiny and almost got him killed. He loves Peter so much that he can’t help trying to do better by him, even when he doesn’t want to. 
And so they throw insults at each other and they bicker relentlessly, but Peter desperately wants Yondu’s approval, and Yondu desperately want Peter to like him. Peter gets childishly defensive about being shit at handling his Celestial powers (”I made a ball.” “A ball?!” “It was all I could think of!”), and Yondu gets stupidly proud to be compared to someone Peter thinks is cool, and Peter beats Ego’s ass because of Yondu’s advice - and his love for his new family and for Yondu. 
They want the other to want them. And they want to make it work.
And so you don’t get to say “Yondu was toxic and awful and didn’t deserve to ever talk to Peter again!!!!!!!!” any more than “he loved his kid so much, best dad ever <3″ They hurt each other and betrayed each other and stole from each other and tried to kill each other - and they still worked to make sense of the pieces. It’s just a giant mess of feelings and wounds and scars and past hurts and forgiveness and it’s so good.
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nightswithkookmin · 3 years
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So every member has been posting on weverse or Twitter lately, they've been coming on vlive. But Jk has done none of this. Do you see his social media absence as a silent rebellion against BH for them trying to hide Jikook or do you think he's probably just staying away for like mental health reasons or something.
Run that by me one more time???
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Are you asking for my opinion on why JK might be absent from social media or are you asking me to choose between those two opinions as explanation as to why Jungkook might be absent from social media???
Is it for his mental health or relationship??? Lol. You are juxtaposing two extremely opposite theories so one sounds more appealing and plausible to highlight the other as outlandish and ridiculous. But that's a fallacy ma'am. Nice try though.
Also, the part about BigHit hiding Jikook...
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I object. You is leading the witness sir/ma'am.
It's a little bit silly and presumptuous to assume whenever a member is absent from social media that the only possible reason I could possibly think of is that they are rebelling against their company.
Sometimes it's just a case of volition and personal interests. Sometimes you just don't wanna be social on social media. Sometimes you have work, family, chores, practice. Sometimes you've outgrown the space or lost track of why you wanted to be apart of an online community in the first place. Sometimes it's the toxicity and wanting to take a break from it for your mental health. Literally a plethora of reasons all of which could be valid depending on the context.
I try to give my theories context by sharing as much of my thought process as possible. It's asinine to strip those contexts away and present me with a skinned theory devoid of context.
About his mental health-
Let's try it this way...
Your first Ask: is there ever a moment I wonder if Jikook are just platonic brothers or something along those lines.
Yes. When they are not together romantically. I look at them and go huh... that's a very platonic hug, or interaction. I still uWu over their interactions though.
Cute. Next.
Is he rebelling against BigHit....
Why would he?? What's the context?
Do you think BigHit is making changes JK and the others might not be happy with in the company? Do you think the company or the members are interfering in his self autonomy and determination within the group or suppressing him in anyway in regards to what he says, what he does or who he does it with?
If so then him rebelling in that way would make sense to me because he wouldn't be the first idol to have used that tactic. A lot of idols do these and worse to assert themselves against their company.
If there's no such underling subtext then him rebelling makes no fucking sense to me.
Is he staying away for his mental health
Again, do you think he's been exposed to severe amounts of toxicity and hate online beyond what all the members experience on a daily such that he would need a break from the internet to rejuvenate like we saw around 2019? If so then taking a break for his mental health would make a lot of sense too.
But for someone who keeps reiterating how important connecting with his fans is to him, you gotta wonder how he strikes a balance between his mental health needs, his emotional needs and his professional deeds.
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This is the last he was seen on Weverse.
Relatively recent I'd say. So when you say he's absent from social media which timeframes do you mean? They were all pretty much off the grid until recent times post PTD not just him. Are they all dealing with mental health issues or are they all rebelling against their company or something?
You have all these tiktok trends and memes he's been referring to here and there and incorporating into their freestyle dance- seems to me he's active online alright. Just not in the way we are used to them being 'active' online. He is fulfilling that need to connect with his fans just not in a way you'd expect. I can say same for Jimin.
Just gonna have to observe things for a while to form a definitive opinion. If you know what I mean.
BigHit hiding Jikook
Sigh. Sounds like shade when you put it like that honestly and so I didn't want to touch it but also I don't think anyone in Bangtan has had an out in the open romantic relationship with anyone yet💀
Show me RMs partner or Suga's girlfriend.
BTS are hiding their relationships gay or straight. If you can see it from that angle then I think the idea of Jikook hiding their relationship or Bighit aiding them or asking them to privatize their relationship isn't so outlandish and ridiculous like you make it seem. BTS are allowed to date, they are just not allowed to make those relationships public💀
If Jikook were heterosexuals and in different bands I think a lot of people would have entertained the thought. Hell people are convinced they are each dating female idols and keeping it a secret. People are convinced JK is dating Mijoo and keeping that a secret but him dating a boy in the same band and keeping it a secret is kapushkalava😌
Theories of RM married and raising a kid abounds in this fandom and people entertain the idea. However, because Jikook are in the same band and play out certain interactions in front of the cameras the thought that they may be hiding sounds funny in y'alls ears? Jokers💀
Most idols hide their relationships and are required by their companies to keep that out of the public eye. Jikook are idols ergo they are required to hide and are hiding their relationships be it with themselves or with others.
And yes BigHit does aid them in doing so when they issue statements about that "this relationship rumor is false" or when the members evade questions about their relationships in a way to insinuate they are single and not in relationships.
How Jikook feel about being required by the company to keep their relationships to themselves or their peers taking it upon themselves to enforce those company policies of private relationships is up for debate and speculation.
BTS wrote a whole ass song dissing the company and calling them out for having a no dating policy yet expecting them to write love songs and yet somehow we think it's ridiculous that Jikook who are part of BTS would rebel against their company from time to time over certain mandates? Lmho.
Edit:
This ask was sent in a few days before JK's recent VLive. I started answering it and let it go to draft because I felt it was pointless to answer it. Especially since a lot of my thoughts on this were regurgitative, abstract, and based on my own subjective opinion and assumptions about the boys. I feel I keep repeating myself and repeating the same things I've been saying over and over with these kinds of shady trolling asks. Sigh.
However, due to recent events that gives more credit to my thoughts and feelings on the matter, I'll attempt to answer it again.
In JK's VLive he said he noticed it's been a while he interacted with Fans which is why he jumped on the Live to see Army- if we take his word for it and at face value then he said nothing about his mental health ergo it can't be because of that😌
Tae equally said in his VLive he noticed the others coming on VLive and so he thought he would come too.
Now, don't you think they wouldn't have come so spontaneously if they were dealing with mental health issues or trying to take care of their mental health???
There was a time Tae was constantly online interacting with Fans and I think I was one of the few people out here who speculated he was lonely and wasn't dating anyone at the time- which he confirmed in Soop by the way when he told JK he being online constantly was because he was lonely.
Do you think he staying off Social media in recent times is because of his mental or that he doesn't feel as lonely anymore??
I stay off line sometimes for my mental health, sometimes too it's because I feel there are people and things in my life I've neglected and need to spend time with and pay equal attention to them.
Sometimes it's because there's death in the family or studies, or work or a film I need to catch up on...
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As to the relationship between campanies and artists- in case you can't pick up on the subtle cues some of the members leave- Suga captures it so well in his Weverse magazine interview.
We made you, as long as you follow our instructions you will be good. Idols are expected to be subservient and sycophantic. As Suga points out it's a thing in the industry and it's destroying the industry.
As to whether or not you think BTS are fully and totally exempt from this harsh reality because BigHit is different is up to you frankly. As to whether or not you think this type of attitude from companies can create friction and tensions between them and the bands is equally up to you.
As to whether you think certain members in BTS are more obsequious than others, more rebellious than others is equally up to you.
In what ways they rebel is up to you too.
That's part A.
Part B. Lol
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I answered the first part of this Ask based on the assumption you were being shady. But just in case you were not then here is an alternative response.
Like I said, JK is not the only member who's been absent from SNS in recent times. They all were at one point.
It's interesting how they will promise to come on Vlive whenever they have some to sell us and only recently started showing up on Vlive consistently when Permission to Dance received such mixed reactions from the audience.
It seems their disconnect from their fanbase and its subsequent consequences is becoming much more apparent to them...
For Jungkook, I think the members discussed his rebellious phase at the beginning of the year when they talked about him not posting for the members's birthday, how they expect his post for Hobi to be a start of something new and Jimin even said he was gonna cut his head off if he didn't post for his birthday- I don't think in all the times he didn't post for the members it's because he was grappling with mental health issues. It's just a post. It doesn't take more than a minute to wish your bandmate a happy birthday on their birthdays.
Especially not when he was posting relatively regularly on SNS but would go radio silent on their birthdays... Forget mental health that's antisocial and we saw how the members felt about that from the VLive.
Also, I think it would be insensitive for the members to expect Jungkook to post on their birthdays or for Jimin to hold him to such high expectations when they know very well that he deals with mental health problems or was dealing with mental health issues in those periods he didn't post for them- whoever says Jungkook didn't post for the members because he was dealing with mental health issues is a fraud. Yea I said it. If I ever spewed that nonsense out here then I'm a fraud too chilee💀
His other forms of silent rebelliousness has been in passive aggressive backhanded remarks aimed at the company and at times certain members. In my opinion of course. He won't do what he won't do and if he has to do it he will do it huffing and puffing and later chat shit about it during pillow talks at night with his boyfriend.
So I don't know what it is he might zeffbe rebelling against now. Like I said, being asked to tone down does not mean he can't Jikook. They are Jikooking. It's just on the low low.
And when you say he is reacting to BigHit hiding Jikook, you have to take into account if Jungkook himself wants to keep things hidden and private. Why would he rebel against something if it's what he wants too?? Know what I mean?
This is why I was talking about context. Jungkook of 2018 and 2019 is not the same Jungkook now. He's pretty much the same person, has the same values but he is learning and growing and that is equally important in the way he sees the world around him.
For instance, he wasn't one to think much about the future when he made certain choices and this is something I've talked about a lot in my blogs. Carpedium, make hay while the sun shines etc used to be his values but now he places a lot of emphasis on thinking about the future, being considerate and about how his actions could impact his future.
Those two mindsets produce totally different actions. One is likely to do very childish things, one is not. One is likely to be reckless, not very ambitious, and less serious, while one is likely to be thoughtful, calculative, intentional and less impulsive. He talks a lot about growing up fast but now it seems to me he's catching up with the times.
This is not to say he is a different person but more so he is becoming. He is learning and unlearning. He is not there yet but he is getting there.
If he wants to sit with Jimin, Vlive with Jimin, post on his birthday and not the others, if he wants to stand in a line up next to him but he can't then definitely he's gonna react strongly to that. But as it stands he is not doing any of that in my opinion- not that I'm aware of. Dude is living his best life out here.
I think I've said this, he is happy with where they are at now. If he is not we will know. That's when they ghetto jumps out of him. Don't know if I'm making sense chilee. Lol.
On the part of the company, I can only speculate to the effect that they are looking for various means to optimize and leverage the bands high demand. That they are trying to monetize their platforms and so restricting access to the boys is part of their mid pandemic marketing strategy- something I have been saying from day dot since the pandemic hit.
Like Suga says, monetization is a huge problem in Kpop and the Pandemic has only exacerbated it.
Showing up on Vlive gives us free access to the boys. As often as we would like to see them through that medium it doesn't pay their bills- doesn't pay much especially if they earn money in Won or whatever currency Naver uses.
YouTube is great. However it comes with restrictions and challenges especially with censorship- videos can be demonetized easily and willy nilly, You have to comply with Coppa and YT guidelines. There's CPM- whixh I don't know if it's high for BTS...
Then there's that whole breaching into Korea/China market agenda going on with them etc
Bighit is a business. BTS is not a nonprofit organization. I think the members can understand that much should the company explain to them why they all- not just Jikook- need to limit access to them.
Bighit made them and holds a contract over their heads. There's a certain amount of control they have over them yet a certain level of autonomy they reserve within such a transaction or business relationship.
Take Tae's appearance in Peakboy's MV for example. It's indication BTS does have a ree will to embark on such out of company adventures. There's Hwarang and features and all these side hustles they do...
Yet in the same breath they were at one point prohibited from taking photos with fans on the streets and stuff like that- I guess I should say allegedly.
If they want to VLive they will- as to whether or not they can VLive outside schedule is another thing all together.
As spontaneous as their VLives can be, a lot of them are scheduled too. So it's interesting how they all went MIA for a noticeable minute without the company officially scheduling these 'compulsory' Fan interactions via Vlive or even YT.
Let's not pretend they don't post sometimes on behalf of certain members. Let's not pretend that that doesn't happen💀
Jungkook showed up on YT grumpy and passive aggressive talking about that he didn't know he was supposed to do a VLive, he wasn't prepared, his hair was messy, he didn't know how to operate things- sigh.
Then he nagged us to death about the arts and crafts thingy... but in his recent live he said singing is all he can do so he sang and thrust his hips away- we can't be mad at that.
So if your question is whether I think there's something up with BTS and how they are interacting with fans or not interacting with fans my answer is yes. I mean that much is obvious...
Money is the root of all evil blink blink. Lol.
Do I think there's something up with Jikook and BigHit my answer is yes still- my theory?? Well I'm still observing things and hoarding information. Can't put out half baked theories you know?
I'm a professional ship delulu theorist and I take my delusions seriously😐
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I can say this though, I think BigHit has a lot to lose now that they are a publicly traded company. They have investors and stockholders they hold themselves accountable to- how the fear of a scandal or the stigma of a queer relationship plays into all that is yet to be seen.
They are trying to mitigate that risk through strategic marketing and business models- separating BigHit under Hybe is one, their partnership with Dispatch has always been one. There's just so much they are doing we don't know and can only assume or infer.
If their recent interviews and line of questioning has taught me anything, it's that they are all well aware of our theories on BTS and speculations on their sexuality and if Taemin's manager can ask him or was asked if he was dating Kai to his face then others can equally speculate, wonder and ask BigHit directly if Jikook being the sticky ones in the group are dating fueled by all the fandom theories out there.
Rumour says Jikook is gay and are dating eachother. How Bighit feels about this, how BTS feel about it, how Jikook feel about it open for discussion.
There are those who just want to nip all such rumours in the bud and those who want to lean into it and and profit off of it because negative attention is still attention.
Which brings me to your question about Jikook, because I see you sent that Ask in twice, they sure as hell are goofy and dorky. Jungkook admitted that much in his interview.
They are the ones to troll the lives out of us and feed into our delusions of them. It's why most people dismiss them as messing with fans and playful and fanservicey.
So I find it interesting that the members calling them a couple because of their outfits isn't being taken as goofy, dorky, fanservicey but as a reason to further invalidate their relationship.
If you can't take whatever Jikook says and does seriously then you certainly can't take whatever anyone says and does concerning them seriously either.
I will answer the rest of it under the Ask you sent in. This post is getting longer already.
I hope this helps.
GOLDY
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