#but that was months ago when I was drunk when we went clubbing

[the-winds-of-destiny-xxx]

.

[eccentricwritingbaby]

fake or real? 

charles leclerc x sainz!reader

summary - y/n sainz had just broken up with her boyfriend of four years. with the tension of both ferrari drivers at each other's throats, their pr team believes it a good idea to have y/n and charles date. y/n can look like she’s moving on from her boyfriend and save her company, charles can look like he likes his teammate, ferrari can avoid any future pr disaster. everyone wins! right?

masterlist 

-

you woke up from your slumber with a pounding headache and pounding on your bedroom door. 

“Y/N! abre la puerta, es carlos,” open the door, it’s carlos

you groaned a bit and shuffled out of bed, still dressed in the clothes and heels you wore to the club last night, too drunk and tired to worry about removing it all. 

“que?” what? you squeak out, throwing your heels to a corner of your room as you open the door to face your older brother, “this better be an emergency, that’s the only reason i gave you a key to my place, pendejo,“ asshole 

“aye aye, no need for the harsh names, hermanita,” little sister you huffed and went towards your ensuite bathroom in order to clean up a little bit more as carlos continued, “i got a call today from my press officer, ferrari pr wants to speak with you, so you’re coming back with me to italy,” 

you shot him a confused and unimpressed look as your toothbrush hung from your mouth. it was like he could read your thoughts exactly with his response, “i don’t know what they want to speak to you about, just think of this as an all expense paid trip in my favor, porfa,” please

you rolled your eyes and shut the door to change clothes as your brother continued his pestering, “y/n it’s probably nothing serious, just something about you coming to more races for a family thing or something,” he shouted through the closed door. 

you opened it in a huff, all changed into some more comfortable clothes, “carlos they are your pr team, not mine. if i don’t want to pick up and go then i’m not going to. i have a job and a life here, i can’t just excuse that for your team or your boss,” 

“i know that, y/n, and i would usually support that but…” carlos shifted uncomfortably across from you and began to stare at his shoes - an obvious trait there was something hidden he needed to let go of. that he was lying. 

“but what, carlos?” your voice was sharp and direct, scaring your older brother just a bit to meet your eye and finish. 

“your company’s pr team also recommended it, it was a joint decision for this meeting. they think ever since marco-”

“do not say his name,” you spit out at carlos. he shakes his head with a deep breath in as an apology and continues on. 

“okay, lo siento,” i’m sorry carlos takes a deep breath again, “ever since a couple months ago, you’re losing the buyer’s trust since you haven’t been around. you are your brand, y/n. and you haven’t been on brand in months. you’ve just been clubbing every single night and sleeping throughout the day. your brand is about strength, and right now…” he wears off, not daring to look you in the eye in order to see your pain with his final words, “your company thinks you look, well, weak,” 

carlos looks up to meet your eyes, glossed over and a bit red at his confession. your lip shakes, leading you to bite down on it in order to gain control, “when do we leave?” is all that slips out of your mouth.

you knew the breakup had been hard on you and you weren’t exactly ‘healing’ from it correctly. you knew you had missed board meetings and pr opportunities because you felt so sick. all you kept replaying in your head was finding your boyfriend - marco - in bed with his coworker on your anniversary. it was a rough one. you had been together for what would have been four years. and now - about a month and a half later - you’re facing the consequences. you knew you couldn’t scrape by like this forever and your board members would have you in check. therefore the confession carlos made didn’t hurt as much - it was a necessary reality check for you.

-

“hi everybody, i’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here today,” the ferrari pr officer speaks into the conference room filled with you, your brother, some of your press team and charles. 

charles? you look at your brother with your eyebrows knitted and he returns the look right back, not understanding what your eyes are asking which was - what the hell is charles leclerc doing here? rolling your eyes and a light huff being released from your mouth you shake your head in the direction of charles, widening your eyes in order to get your question across. however, it falls on an idiotic brain because carlos just shrugs his shoulders and looks towards the direction of the speaker yet again. 

“there has been some obvious tension between the teammates, carlos and charles, and the fans and media are now picking up on it. we thought it would be a good idea to squash that as well as assist y/n with reintroducing her public image if charles and y/n began a relationship,” she finishes with a happy smile as if she just cured cancer while you and charles could only gape at her audacity. 

“excuse me, could i say something?” you speak up, pushing your chair out from behind you as you stand. 

you could hear a distant monegasque accent whispering a ‘please’, giving you more of a confident push with his support, “if my brand is all about strength as you said,” you gesture towards your team, “then how would me falling right into the arms of another man represent that? is female strength really about a man making me fall and another man picking me up? wouldn’t that be what makes me weak?” 

your pr officer - amanda- goes to speak up but you cut her off quickly to continue, “i don’t mean to sound bitter or arrogant but i just don’t believe that this will do what you believe it to. carlos has one year left on this team, there is no reason to keep up happy smiles with them, and as for me, i will be fine after i meet with the board in a week,” you take your seat and eye charles. he gives a light smile and a thumbs up, earning a wink from you back to him. 

amanda now stands and looks directly at you, “y/n, i don’t want to be blunt but at this point it is what you need. sponsors do not want teammates who hate each other. sponsors are dropping your brother and charles. and as for your ‘board meeting’ - they are discussing finding a new ceo if you do not clean up your act and get it together. and marco has been out and about with his new girl as you have been sloppy at clubs and pubs. so this is actually a last ditch effort. do it, or lose it all,” 

with yours and charles’ confidence now shook, he speaks up slowly and quietly, “what will we have to do?”

“y/n attends races on your arm, at least every other week. a public outing once or twice a week,” amanda keeps talking about the details, but you simply drown it out. you knew you needed a reality check but this? this was the rug being pulled out from under you. they wouldn’t take the company you built from you. and you won’t let your brother drown either. 

-

the next day, you are officially official with your ‘boyfriend’ charles leclerc. walking hand in hand through italy and getting gelato together. what a cliche, is all you can think right now, but the thumb rubbing over the back of your hand brings you out of your pessimism for a brief moment. 

“are you alright with this?” charles asks you as you continue your walk to the shop. it wasn’t a paparazzi walk, only a slight soft launch to get people to start talking. 

“i think i have to be,” you chuckle out. he laughs with you and nods his head. 

“yeah, your amanda was kind of harsh about this,”

“she usually is, that’s why i hired her, i enjoy the brutally honest,” you look up and meet his soft eyes, your stomach doing a flip you haven’t felt in years. 

“it seemed like she didn’t want to be like that with you, though,” he gently pushes you, ever so kindly to keep going, something you pick up on and yet still go along with.

“everyone’s been like that since the breakup,” you shrug off as you both walk into the gelato shop, “carlos, my parents, my friends, amanda, even the board of directors at my company. but that’s what i hate,” charles raises his eyebrows, inviting you to keep going.

“the sugar coating, being nice and talking around the problem - i’ve never liked that,” 

charles lets go of your hand quickly to order and pay as you find a table, and as he slides into the chair across from you, his hand appears in yours almost as quickly as it left. 

“i understand that, i hate it too,” he continues on from your conversation, “whenever i have a bad race, my engineers will try to justify it or make me feel better when i just need the criticism. it’s the only way i’ll get better,”

you nod along as you eat, chiming in again, “exactly, even though it hurt to hear when amanda said that to me, i wish she had told me earlier so that this wouldn’t be a last ditch effort. but no, everyone had to tiptoe around the broken-hearted girl when really i just needed a swift kick in the ass,” you laugh off and charles joins your giggles. 

“this isn’t so bad for a last ditch effort though,” he adds in.

“eh, it’s growing on me,” you both laugh again into your gelato, ignoring the phones filming you both and the whispers growing around you. 

-

it had been four months of public outings, race weekends, calculated instagram posts, and ‘dating’ charles leclerc. you two had always been friendly, but due to the time together, you’ve grown to enjoy him more than you thought you would. you’ve grown to enjoy this more than you thought you would. your fake relationship felt more real than your real one ever had. and it scared the shit out of you. 

“y/n? are you ready?” charles calls from outside the bathroom door, tapping his ring clad hand against it a few times. since people talk, amanda had suggested you share a hotel room during race weekends to not raise suspicion. since you both were adults, you slept in the same bed just fine, yet the tension was able to be cut with a knife. both you and charles could feel it, you were just waiting for the other to make the first move. tonight after media day at silverstone, charles was taking you to a nice dinner for your average fake-dating date. you wore a little black dress as charles sported a white button up and dress pants. ‘an attractive match’ as the media tended to call you both, and you didn’t complain. 

“i’m coming, char. just need a little help with my zipper,” you grunt out back to him, still attempting to zip it up on your own.

“let me in, i’ll do it for you,”

“it’s open,”

as charles opens the door, his mouth drops open for a second before he closes it, not letting you catch his eyes draping over your body in admiration. his hands ghost over your shoulders before they land on the zipper, synching you up into your attire. you spin around to face him, eyes darting between his own then down to his lips, your breath intertwining with his. 

“we’re gonna be late,” you whisper out, patting his shoulder as you squeeze around him and out of the bathroom to slip into your shoes. 

charles - still stunned by your brief moment in the bathroom - comes out of his fog with a cough to clear the air along with his throat, “you’re right, we should get going,” and with that you both head out of the room and out of the hotel. 

-

walking out of the restaurant, hand in hand, both you and charles felt so good it was decided you’d walk back to the hotel. it was only a few blocks and the cool breeze with the lack of rain was something you needed to take advantage of when in england. 

“i had a nice time with you tonight, y/n,” charles sighs, swinging your hand a bit in his. 

“i did too, char. we always have a good time,” you reply with a light laugh, continuing to swing your intertwined hands. 

“i mean it, though, like, on a different level,” he slowed down his pace in order to really speak to you, to get through to you. your eyes darted around, catching a few phones beginning to surround you. 

“kiss me,” you whisper out. charles’ eyes widen in surprise as he hadn’t noticed why you told him, taking it instead as a sign that you understood what he was trying to express to you, that he loved you. 

“are you sure, y/n? because i know it’ll get complicated and-”

“no, charles, there are people looking, just kiss me so this seems real,” you hiss towards him, beginning to pull on his shirt. charles leans in for the kiss, pushing his hurt from your words to the back of his mind in order to simply soak in any chance he can get to kiss you. 

once pulled apart, you both stay close to each other, having both felt the love that radiated through the kiss. one of you - charles - was giddy and giggle while the other - you - were scared shitless. you couldn’t fall in love again. your position at your company was just saved, your brothers sponsors back on his side, and even worse you couldn’t let yourself get hurt and fall into a hole again. you wouldn’t be that version of yourself again. 

pulling away quicker from charles, you kept your hands linked as you kept walking back towards the hotel, but he could feel your grip loosen and your feelings begin to grow cold again. 

once in the hotel room, you headed straight for the bathroom to change and get ready for bed, yet as you were closing the door - a hand came up to stop it from closing. swiftly turning around, you bumped into the chest of charles. 

“what the hell?” you ask more to yourself than to him.

“what was that tonight?”

“what do you mean?”

“the kiss, we both felt it - i know you felt it, y/n,”

“felt what, charles?”

“SOMETHING! ANYTHING!” he shouted in exasperation, making you jump from the surprise in his lifted tone. 

“i don’t know what you mean,” you grumble out, turning back to the mirror and starting to take off your jewelry. 

“y/n,” charles sighed, hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose while his eyes screwed shut, “this between us is real, it’s not fake anymore i don’t know if it ever has been,”

“we just get along, charles, we’re friends,” 

“then explain the kiss,” he pushes, hands now coming to rest on his hips, challenging you to finally admit the feelings he knows you have for him. 

“we’re both good kissers, so it felt good,” you shrug off. 

“y/n, please, you know this is real just say it,” a few beats go by after charles’ ply as you stare at each other through the mirror. you’ve halted your movements, blood rushing everywhere in your body except your brain. 

“i- i can’t charles,” you finally stutter out, his stare only intensifying. 

“why,” he pushes, “if you can’t tell me that you love me and this is real then i need to know why,”

you spin around quickly, courage taking over as you take the two steps in order to stand in front of him, “because i will not allow myself to be a mess again all due to a man,” you respond sharply. even though your tone was even, you could feel your eyes beginning to well up as you continue, “i almost lost the business i built from the ground up because some man ruined me, no one will get that power again, i won’t allow it,” you take a shaky inhale as charles’ eyes soften at your confession. 

“but, if there’s no risk, there’s no reward, y/n,” he speaks softly to you, as if an octave higher would shatter you to pieces, “and you deserve a reward,” you could feel him slowly wearing you down, his scent filling your nose and his crystal eyes taking over your vision, “let me be your reward, y/n,” 

“kiss me,” you breathe out, fading into your happiness as his lips take no time to land on yours. the sparks were flying, a magnetic pull bringing your lips together again and again. he was taking away your pain, as he’d been doing for months, and rebuilding a heart he never broke. and a heart he had vowed to never break. 

-

a/n - if you want a part two with reactions and them just being happy together and stuff let me know send in requests! i feel like i could do more with this story so just lmk how you feel <3

[bluur00]

𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 - 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎

hurt/comfort. fem!reader.

It’s been a few months after you and Kenji broke up, he said it’s because he was seeing another girl and that he lost interest in you. That broke your heart, knowing how much the old Kenji you knew would never do such thing.

He would never, yet he did.

“Why are you leaving so suddenly!? Can’t we try to talk whatever the problem is?” you raised your voice, your tears threatening to fall down.

Kenji didn’t look back at you, all you can see is his back carrying his backpack filled with he clothes keeps in your apartment, “I’m seeing someone else, I’m moving back to my house at the island.”

He left.

That night you cried in your bed, cried yourself to sleep, alone in your apartment, you sobbed your eyes out, wishing all this was a dream, a nightmare.

In those few months, you worked on yourself to move on and forget about the relationship and how it broke down. It’s still really hard to forget about it, what happened that night was very sudden.

When Kenji spilled those hurtful words, it hit you like a truck, that time your legs were very weak, it threatened to make you fall at that moment.

Whatever, you have to focus on your job, your life, especially in moving on.

“Kenji! Bro, where are you going?” one of his friends ask, seeing Kenji walking in a wobbly line away from the club. “Y-Y/n, I wanna see Y/n,” he mumbled, one of his friends catched up to him, “you and her broke a few months ago,” his friend said, suprised on what Kenji was headed to.

“don’t care, need to see Y/n.” he repeated again.

“okay, okay, get in and I’ll take you to her,” his friend said, pulling Kenji towards his car and laying him in the backseat.

You were staying up late, reading a book that you always wanted to finish, but then a knock came. You ignored it at first, but it came again, you placed your bookmark between the two pages and went to check the door.

You looked through the peek hole of the door, and it was, ‘Kenji’s friend? who’s beside him? Kenji?’ you sighed and opened the door, “why are you here, it’s late.” you asked, not wanting to deal with your ex in the middle of the night.

“Please just take him, he wants to talk to you,” his friend said, trying to pass Kenji to you, you reconsider and reconsider, but in the end you took Kenji’s arms and closed the door on his friend.

You led Kenji to the couch, and laid him down, going to the kitchen to get warm water, but you then heard him mumble your name. You ignored it, hes probably dreaming, “Y/n? That you, baby?” he raised his head to your direction, you hummed in response, he then continued.

“I miss you, Y/n, so much. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you these last few months, heck, I had to get drunk just so I can forget you, but even that… I,” he paused, out of breath, hes clearly still worn out, “I still couldn’t get you off my mind, even the… the city has been questioning where ultraman has been-“ you cut him off by stirring the glass loudly, even though it’s just water.

“Stop your babbling and drink, so you can go back to your girlfriend, pretty sure she would be pissed knowing you’re here.” you said, clearly annoyed by his presence and him even opening his mouth.

He eventually drinks it a bit, before pushing it away and realised what you said, “oh that girl? Who is she?” Kenji asked, confused, “don’t worry you’ll remember her once you’re sober,” you said before leaving to go to your room.

“Y/n,” Kenji called, you turned to face him, “can you change my clothes? please, baby?” he pleaded.

“No, your clothes aren’t here anymore remember? and stop calling me that,” you said before continuing to go to your bedroom.

Once you laid in your bed, you couldn’t help but think and remembered, how Kenji sleeping in uncomfortable clothes can pain his back when he wakes up, but your no one to undress him. Even so, you continued opening your closet and searched for clothes that he left.

Kenji woke up with a hectic headache, he expected to wake up in your apartment, especially remembering what he said last night. “Surprised you haven’t left yet,” he heard your voice coming from the kitchen, it seems like you were making tea.

“Y/n, let’s talk,” Kenji said, with pleading eyes, “please,” you turned your head slightly and chuckled, “still drunk? Thought sleeping it through can make you sober,” you said, taking your mug and sat down beside Kenji on the couch, taking a sip and placing it down at the coffee table, “whatever, just make it quick please,” you said.

“Well, that night, that girl, it was all a lie,” Kenji confessed, you showed a confused look, ‘he wasn’t lying last night?’ you thought, he continued, “I did that break up because, I was scared,” he paused, but you quickly interfered, “what do you mean scared?” you asked, sharp tone, highly confused on what hes leading to.

“I was scared, I realised that recently that time I was focusing too much on the baseball tournaments and interviews, especially with me being ultraman, I don’t want to put you at risk, risk of dying when I can’t be there to save you,” he paused again, his eyes beginning to tear up, you kept quiet, suprised by his real reason.

“I knew that if I didn’t use the reason of seeing someone else, you would make up a reason for us to talk and solve it,” he said, he knew you, he could predict you, and you were suprised of how much he knew.

“I knew that if I looked at you before leaving that night, if I take one look into your teary eyes, I would stay and I would fail to protect you from future dangers that can come,” he said, before he completely broke down, right in front of you.

Slowly, you neared him, ran your fingers through his raven hair. When he raised his head to take a peek, you opened your arms for him to hug, which he then took. He cried on your shoulder, as you stayed quiet and gave him a silent forgiveness, caressing his back, arms, his hair.

“I’m safe, Kenji.”

[feeder86]

Selfish

“Why are you arranging to go out with the boys? You know we’re going up to help my parents with redecorating this weekend!” Lucy complained, standing straight up and looking down at Ryan, laid out on the couch.

“We’re doing what?” Ryan asked, completely perplexed. “We were there last weekend!”

“Yeah, and I told my dad you’d give him a hand with the wallpapering this next weekend as well,” Lucy continued in her whining tone.

“Their entire lounge?” Ryan shot back. “Nobody told me!”

“Well…” Lucy mumbled, suddenly realising that Ryan was right. “I’m telling you now.”

Ryan huffed in frustration. He hadn’t had a night out with the boys in months. He’d thought, when he married Lucy, that he was setting himself up for a good life. She didn’t want kids, she wasn’t crazy about him visiting the gym all the time and she was a fully qualified chef! However, two years in and Ryan had never had so little time for himself, endlessly fixing up their apartment just as Lucy wanted it, then constantly heading out to see her parents; always being signed up for some tedious maintenance tasks now that Lucy’s dad was getting on a bit and living off his retirement income. “Fine,” he sighed, deleting his planned message to the group chat with the boys. “I guess I can see my friends when I’ve got a couple of weeks off next month.”

“Oh, yes!” Lucy nodded, making Ryan instantly regret reminding her about his time off. The cogs in her head clearly rolling into action, imagining all of the jobs he could get done in that time.

“Ryan!” cheered his buddies a full nine weeks later, amazed that he had actually made it out. “We haven’t seen you in ages!”

“I’m only here for one of two drinks. I dropped Lucy off in town to do some shopping,” he explained to them, not wanting to get their hopes up.

“You’re not coming to the club?” Adam asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise after giving him the biggest hug.

“No… no. I wish I could, but…” he grumbled, considering the best way to explain how much Lucy was monopolising his time; how frustrating and demanding she had become since they got married. . “...I’ve got commitments,” he simply stated, deciding not to poison his time with his friends by complaining about the person who had kept him away from them for so long. 

“Don’t worry about it, buddy,” Jack jumped in, filling the silent void that was killing the mood. “Life happens.”

“Jack!” Ryan exclaimed, seeing his high school best friend and doing a slight double take. The guy had altered quite a bit since Ryan last saw him. Where had that double chin come from? How was he filling that shirt with all that padding in his stomach? What the hell had happened? “How long has it been, buddy?”

“I saw you at Ginny and Fran’s house warming, about four months ago,” he answered. “I introduced you to my new girlfriend, Michelle.”

“Oh, yeah,” I remember, Ryan nodded, thinking back to how drunk Lucy had been that night, and how early they had had to leave. But Jack hadn’t looked so overweight back then. They’d tried out their friends’ new swimming pool. Jack had been one of the first ones in. He definitely wasn’t out of shape. Not like he appeared to be now.

As luck would have it, when the guys all went to grab seats, Ryan ended up next to Jack, right on the end of a long, rectangular table. Back in their high school days, the pair of them had been the best of friends, and that old rapport immediately came back every time they met; even after months of separation. Jack had always been the bad influence that Ryan’s parents had never approved of. He’d been banned from hanging out with the guy on multiple occasions when he was growing up and, even now, he still felt like he was doing something he shouldn’t, giggling away at the crude jokes that tumbled out of Jack’s mouth with ease. 

“So, things are going well with Michelle?” Ryan asked, spotting that Jack had already referenced her several times in their conversation.

“Things are going great!” Jack beamed. He leaned in a little closer, clearly not wanting the other guys to hear. “We’ve even talked about getting married!”

At this, Ryan’s eyebrows flew up. “Married? After four months?” he whispered back, knowing that Jack didn’t want this broadcasting. He remembered how promiscuous his friend had been during his college days. If Ryan had been asked to pick any one of the guys here who was least likely to ever settle down, he would have chosen Jack without a second thought.

“I know!” Jack beamed, leaning back and placing his hands on the top of his stout little paunch, which jutted out into a proper shelf as they sat down. “I’m so ready for it though,” he smiled, seeming to rub his stomach mindlessly. “I’m actually really excited about the idea.”

Round and round Jack’s hands went, rubbing that tight ball of stomach fat, pulling Ryan’s gaze into it. “I’m happy for you,” he mumbled back.

Jack looked around, checking that no one else was listening in, then he turned himself a little more into Ryan, about to divulge even more private information. “Michelle’s super kinky!” he whispered.

Ryan chuckled and leaned in as well. His own sex life was so monotonous these days, he was actually quite ready to hear about someone else having a good time. “Oh yeah? She certainly looked pretty flexible when I met her that one time,” he grinned, settling into dirty ‘guy talk’ with enthusiasm.

“Oh, buddy!” Jack sighed, rolling his eyes and giving a huge exhale. “You would not believe it. She has me wrapped around her little finger. Absolutely anything she wants, I do for her.”

“That doesn’t sound too dissimilar to me and Lucy,” Ryan quipped, chuckling at his own joke.

“No, I’m not talking about boring shit, like decorating,” Jack shot back, having heard all about Ryan’s grumblings. “I’m talking about really kinky, submissive stuff.”

“Really?” Ryan smirked. “I never thought she’d be the dominant type.”

“No,” Jack agreed enthusiastically. “No one else knows. She hides it really well.”

Ryan had to admit that he was getting a little turned on. “So, what type of stuff does she make you do?” he asked next; his eyes twinkling with boyish interest, just as much as Jack’s were.

“All sorts,” Jack answered, his hands slipping onto his gut again. “When we started going out, I was still trying to act like the playboy I used to be. Michelle was having none of it. She’s put guys like me in their place before. Trust me, I’ve seen the pictures!” he smirked.”But her biggest turn on is making sure I overeat and get bigger.”

“Seriously?” Ryan asked, now understanding why Jack kept on holding his stomach. “I thought girls hated it when guys put on weight?”

“It’s an absolute fucking dream!” Jack replied, lowering his voice even further. Just the fact that he had sworn showed Ryan how turned on his friend was, simply by talking about it. “I get home and she’ll sit me in my gaming chair and set everything up for me. Then she brings me endless snacks and beers; a few sodas, cream cakes. Michelle won’t even let me get up. I do nothing around my apartment at all! No washing, no cleaning and certainly no cooking! She gets off on controlling my entire lifestyle when I’m at home. Then rewarding me for it.”

“Dude, that’s amazing!” Ryan had to agree, feeling surprisingly jealous. He’d been up until almost midnight last night, fixing a new shelf for Lucy’s candles, whilst his buddy Jack had been gaming, eating and getting pleasured the entire time.

“You see why I’m so keen to marry her now?” Jack joked back. “Can you believe it? I’m actually living out our dream that we used to talk about in high school.”

Ryan looked a little perplexed, trying to remember what they used to talk about ten years ago.

In turn, Jack seemed a little surprised that Ryan was struggling to recall. “You remember? Mr Hanson was such a bad gym teacher, we used to joke that we would just find some girls who liked fat guys and never have to put on a pair of itchy gym shorts again.”

“Oh, yeah!” Ryan chuckled. “That worked out well for me,” he sighed sarcastically. “I ended up marrying a professional chef, but I’m now ten pounds lighter than I was when we married.”

“Dude, there are other girls out there,” Jack went on enthusiastically. “Believe me! My eyes have been opened in these last few months! If you want the life that I’ve got…” he proclaimed, rubbing his stomach once more, “trust me, you can have it!”

Ryan nodded. No one else had dared to suggest he thought about a life beyond Lucy. Whenever he raised his concerns or annoyances about their marriage, people were keen to stamp them out, reminding him, in their accusatory tones, that marriage was all about compromising. Now, here was Jack, actively encouraging him to imagine being with someone else instead. It was the reason why Jack was, and always would be, Ryan’s very best friend.

Ryan looked at himself in the mirror a couple of weeks later. It was Sunday night. He should have been well rested, and yet he looked nothing but tired. The dirt under his fingernails from digging up Lucy’s parents’ garden all weekend was still visible in places, despite scrubbing for so long in the shower. His ribs were showing in his chest and, although he was built with plenty of muscle, he’d never looked so lanky and slim in his life. He thought of Jack and his life of pleasure and luxury. This… this tiredness and exhaustion was not what he wanted for himself. He looked almost ill.

Life had to change.

Ryan raised his cell phone to the mirror and took a picture of himself. This would be his lowest point, he decided with determination. From now on, things were going to change. He never wanted to see himself like this ever again.

“What’s all this?” Lucy complained, slipping into Ryan’s truck on their way to the supermarket. She held up several pieces of packaging, wrappers from fast food places and sugary snacks. “Is this what you’ve been eating when you’ve been in work this week?”

Ryan nodded without shame. “I feel like I’m too skinny. I’m trying to put on a few pounds.”

“Since when?” Lucy blasted back indignantly. “I’ve never told you you’re too skinny. I like the way you look.”

“I don’t,” Ryan shrugged. “I’ve never liked being skinny. I was always bigger than this growing up. In fact, I was actually quite chubby when I started high school.”

“Well, no. Sorry,” Lucy stated, without compromise. “I’m your wife, and I say no.”

Ryan looked at her in disbelief. “It’s my body,” he declared. “And I want to feel good about it.”

“I said no!” Lucy spat, brushing all the packaging into the footwell and sitting herself down. “Now, let’s talk about something else.”

Ryan got in, sat down and slammed the door shut, neither of them speaking for the entire ride.

‘Fastest ways to gain weight’ Ryan typed into the internet search that evening after Lucy had gone to bed. He quickly skipped through anything that dealt with muscle gains and focused solely on those that promoted increases in fat. He may have married Lucy, but she didn’t own him. In fact, she was the one who needed to learn that more than anyone. This was one ‘no’ that he wasn’t about to cave into.

“You’re looking well,” cried Ryan’s aunt as he stopped over to fix her leaking tap.

“Thanks,” he smiled back. “I feel quite well,” he agreed. “I’ve been trying to put some weight back on these last few weeks. I was starting to get far too skinny.”

“I was saying that to your mom, but she didn’t agree with me. You had gone dreadfully skinny.”

Ryan nodded in agreement. He had always been much more on his aunt’s wavelength than anyone else in his family. “I found some recipes online and I buy in these little calorie shakes that seem to work well on me. I’ve put on about 20lbs altogether,” he explained, raising his shirt briefly to show that his stomach was indeed a little thicker. “Lucy isn’t too pleased about it. But she’s never happy these days.”

“Well, you were never skinny growing up, were you?” his aunt nodded. “You always had a sweet tooth, I remember. You used to eat me out of house and home when you came over!”

“That’s why I’m so tall,” Ryan laughed. “I was always so well fed growing up.”

The pair of them laughed and Ryan packed up his things. In the old days, he would have headed straight home to his wife, but now he was feeling the need to be much more selfish, heading istead to the fast food place he had grown quite attached to and determined that he would at last defeat the Mega Monster Meal that had, up until now, eluded him.

“Come on, we’ve got to go!” Lucy complained, checking the time as Ryan rushed about after his shower. He’d been late home, getting caught up at a job, sending his wife into a tailspin as she tried to get him ready for her friend’s engagement party. She’d laid his suit out on the bed, his underwear, shoes and socks; knowing exactly how she wanted him to look.

Ryan hated being rushed. So what if they missed the first twenty minutes? Was the world really going to end? It was the side of Lucy he hated most, struggling to pull his socks on as his feet were still so wet.

“Oh,” Ryan mumbled, sucking in his stomach and trying to button up the suit pants. He tugged and pulled, holding his breath as much as he could. “I’m too big for them!” he chuckled with amusement, remembering that he had bought the suit for a wedding less than a year ago, when he was much skinnier. “What a waste of money, these were!” he joked lightheartedly. “I only got to wear them once!”

Lucy stared on in horror. She’d told him again and again to cut down on his eating. Couldn’t he see how bad he looked? Wasn’t he ashamed of how his stomach was starting to develop into a little paunch.

“Relax,” he whispered back, trying to calm her down. “I’ll just pair the jacket with my jeans and then we can head straight out.”

However, Lucy’s face had flushed with anger. “No,” she declared, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “I’m going by myself. I’m not being seen with you, looking like this.”

Ryan stared at her in disbelief. He didn’t have words, listening as she stormed down the stairs and threw the front door closed. He heard her car start and he peeked out the window as that too stormed off down the street; out of view. 

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Ryan threw himself down onto the bed; still dressed only in his underwear and socks. How had he married someone so fucking unreasonable? She was just so… 

But then a thought came to Ryan, making his brain tingle into life. Had he actually just been given the night to himself? The whole house? Just him? All evening?

He looked down at his thicker stomach and smiled with delight at it. “Thank you!” he laughed aloud, managing to pinch a little and jiggle it in happiness. He felt a twitch in his groin, realising that with the night to himself, he could watch porn or do anything that he wanted. He could order food in. Lots of it! “Yes!”, he nodded, getting more excited and turned on now. This was his night. Free reign to be as selfish as he liked.

Ryan proceeded to indulge himself in every way possible, looking down at his bloated stomach a couple of hours later. Maybe this was it, he thought to himself. Maybe this was the way out of his miserable life with Lucy. He could seize upon her dislike of his weight gain and run with it. Why stop? He’d certainly gone beyond the point of denying himself for the sake of her ideals. There was a path in front of him, the exit sign shining brightly and a new life within his reach. He just needed to have the courage to reach for it.

“A Saturday night to yourself?” Jack laughed, surprised that Ryan had actually followed up on his promises and made it out for a drink. “You must have been a very good boy!” he teased.

Ryan hugged his friend and stood back to admire him slightly. Jack had grown wider since he’d seen him last, his hips and love handles spreading. Teh guy’s face was bigger, cheeks blooming large. And underneath his t-shirt, Ryan could see that the man’s nipples had become pointed, pressing outwards from his puffy former pecs. “I can see that you’ve been having a very good time of things!” he joked, being in the know about how Jack’s kinky sex life worked with his girlfriend.

“I could say the same about you!” Jack smirked back, poking Ryan in his tight little paunch. “Have you and Lucy been having your own kinky fun?” he teased.

“We’re not really talking at the moment, dude,” Ryan explained straight away; keen that he didn’t have to spend the entire night talking about her. “I want out. I’ve reached the end.”

Jack winced sympathetically. “I can’t say that I’m all that surprised after the way you were talking last time. But that still doesn’t explain this,” he pointed back at Ryan’s middle, smirking.

Ryan laughed, having forgottem how quickly Jack could lift his spirits with his cheeky humour. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied coyly, smiling with just as much mischief.

“Yes you do!” Jack laughed back, patting Ryan’s paunch properly now. “Did you do it on purpose? Is this to piss Lucy off?”

Again, Ryan laughed. He shruged his shoulders. “Yeah,” he nodded in surprise at Jack’s bluntness. There wasn’t anyone else in the world he could imagine himself admitting this to. “I guess I did,” he smiled, resting his hand over his thicker middle like it was his new prized pet.

“Dude, that’s so awesome!” Jack blasted; his face lighting up with all the enthusiasm Ryan remembered when the pair of them used to get up to mischief in high school. “You love it, don’t you?”

Ryan felt like he was dealing with an excitable puppy, but the interest was infectious. “Well, I can’t say I’m against it,” he replied diplomatically.

“Michelle is going to love this when I tell her,” Jack pressed on, ordering them both a couple of beers. “She said at the pool party that you would make a good fatty.”

“She did?” Ryan asked, surprised that Michelle would talk about other guys in that way.

“Absolutely,” Jack nodded. “She said you’re like me; a similar build; perfect for fattening up, apparently.”

“She really is a kinky one, your Michelle, isn’t she?” Ryan chuckled, feeling strangely aroused by the idea of her talking about him like this.

“How far are you planning on taking it?” Jack pressed him.

“The weight gain? Um, well. I’m not really thinking about anything really. I’m just having some fun,” he answered honestly.

“Dude, if you’re ever going to grow a gut in your lifetime, getting a divorce is one of them.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ryan asked, only half listening now as he tried to work out why there was so much blood pumping into his groin.

“A divorce is like a free pass for so many things. No one will bat an eyelid if you start getting properly fat once you two separate.”

“Well, we’re not quite there yet,” Ryan backtracked, wincing slightly as the word ‘divorce’ came up so casually in their conversation. Lucy hadn’t mentioned it to him yet, and neither had he to her. 

“Just imagine it though,” Jack encouraged him. “You, sitting in your own apartment somewhere, drinking as much beer and eating as much pizza as you want after work. No Lucy complaining in the background and telling you off. No massive list of jobs to be completed at the weekend.”

“That does sound pretty sweet,” Ryan admitted; his dick now inexplicably full of blood.

“I just can’t wait to tell Michelle,” Jack said again, more delighted than ever as the pair of them settled in to watch the football game on the big screen.

The realities of splitting from his wife were somewhat different from the fantasies that Jack tried to portray, Ryan soon realised. Divorce was quickly turning into the most expensive thing he had ever done. Lucy’s parents, who had been too impoverished to hire a gardener, or a decorator, or a maintenance guy the entire time he had been married to Lucy, suddenly stumped up the cash to pay for the most cut-throat, killer lawyer for their daughter. With his head in his hands, Ryan soon realised that he was going to have to start from scratch: no home, no pensions, not even his truck for work. The only place that he could afford to live was a room in an apartment downtown, sharing with two students from the local college. Twenty nine years old and here he was, right back at the starting line.

Of the two guys he now lived with, Ryan didn’t see much of Paul, the computer science major. He was often out in the library, or hiding out in his bedroom. That worked fine. With his life turned so upside down, Ryan wasn’t exactly wanting to be dragged out to parties midweek when he had work the next morning. No, the only real pain in Ryan’s ass was Ash; the smart-mouthed literature student with a carefree attitude to life that frustrated Ryan to no end.

“You know, when you get a real job, you’re not going to be able to sit up until 3am watching a movie marathon with your waste of space boyfriend,” he complained at the guy one evening, tired from an exhausting day in work, having been constantly woken by the pair of young lovers laughing so hard at the screen.

“Fine. Whatever,” Ash huffed. “I’ve had a stressful day, okay. I don’t need this.”

“Stressful?” Ryan parroted, feeling the rage bubbling up inside him. “You want to know about stress?” he growled. “You’ve been sitting inside all day typing up an assignment on a computer screen. That’s not what real stress looks like. You’re in college - you have absolutely no idea about the real world; about trying to actually earn a living!”

Ash rolled his eyes. He’d heard it all before. 

Sure, Lucy knew how to press Ryan’s buttons, but this boy was on a whole other level. “You graduate with your masters in nine months!” he blasted. “What the hell do you expect to do then? You’ve got no idea, have you? How can you just wander so aimlessly through life?”

“What does it matter?” Ash sighed. “Things always work out in the end.”

“It matters because, trust me, your twenties will be over in a flash and you need to start getting somewhere in life. Not just watching movies until 3am! And certainly not with someone like Ben! You’re just setting yourself up for failure, and it pisses me off!”

“Like you, you mean?” Ash shot back, visibly annoyed. “You’ve done the whole marriage thing, the house, the cars. Yet, you're back here, sharing a shitty apartment with a couple of students. You did everything right, everything the grown-ups told you, and now look at you! Sometimes life is just like that. So stop taking out your frustrations on me and start focusing on yourself instead!”

Ryan didn’t respond. He stormed off to his room and threw himself onto the bed. Then he took a few breaths and considered what Ash had actually said to him. The guy had been right: he was taking his anger out on him. Ash was young, more academically bright than Ryan had ever been, good looking and full of personality. He had his whole life in front of him without any major mistakes under his belt yet. So why did Ryan feel the need to be such an asshole to him?

Despite not officially apologising, Ryan did make an effort to be nicer to Ash over the coming days. He still didn’t care for Ben, the guy's boyfriend, feeling that Ash could do much better. But he was polite and courteous, never failing to put in his earplugs when he knew they were going to be watching TV until late.

Ryan’s weight had not been a priority for him since he’d moved in. Any erotic fantasies he’d indulged himself in last year were thoroughly dampened by the divorce. Yet, his weight continued to climb, spurred on by the cheap, high carbohydrate diet he fell into whilst living in the apartment.

When he was with Lucy, Ryan had indulged himself in sugary treats and even high calorie supplements that he would now consider an eyewatering drain on his monthly budget. He was having to to work harder than ever to bring in the money and his paunch seemed to lose that fluffy softness of his early gains, solidifying into something firmer and more rounded as it continued to push itself out from under his chest.

New clothes were also a luxury that Ryan could ill-afford. His t-shirts fitted awkwardly around the swell of his stomach and there were many times in work when he felt a cool breeze on his butt crack. Beer was the only luxury he allowed himself in those early days, especially on the weekends, when Paul usually went back to visit his family and Ash was generally out partying with his boyfriend. In those few, blissful hours, he could guzzle down his beers whilst sitting in his underwear in front of the shared TV screen, appreciating exactly why he had given up his marriage. Life was hard, but it wasn’t always awful.

Through word of mouth, Ryan had started picking up more work on some of the other rental properties for students that littered this area of town. Desperate for the work, Ryan had been undercutting people quite dramatically in order to guarantee an income for himself. However, trying to get an early start on these types of properties was never as easy. Students were inherently lazy, he decided, whilst banging on the door of one apartment, trying to get someone to let him in. After a full five minutes, a groggy looking guy crawled to the door wearing only his underwear and a t-shirt that was back to front.

“Your landlord sent me to see your air con,” Ryan eventually explained.

Without a word, the exhausted guy simply opened the door further and let Ryan get by. “You’re not going to be noisy are you?” he eventually asked. “My boyfriend is still asleep.”

Ryan looked at his watch. It was almost 10.30 in the morning. Why would anyone still be asleep now?

“It’s okay. I’m getting up anyway,” yawned another guy, waddling sleepily from the bedroom and giving his boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek. It was only then that Ryan clocked him. It was Ben, Ash’s obviously cheating boyfriend; the guy’s face suddenly looking considerably more alert as he too recognised Ryan.

“You’re not going to tell Ash, are you?” Ben shouted, having followed Ryan out of the apartment the second he had finished up; safely out of earshot of his second boyfriend.

“Of course I am,” Ryan replied simply, continuing to walk away, without stopping.

“You’re just going to make him miserable,” the guy shot back. “Is that what you want?”

At this, Ryan laughed. Guilty people always seemed to have such a terrific way of turning things back around on the other person. “Trust me,” he sniggered. “He’ll be way better off without someone like you in his life.”

“Do you think it was easy for me with Ash?” Ben started next; his tone shifting to something nastier. “It’s not exactly easy trying to feel special when your boyfriend has a massive crush on the pot-bellied daddy bear he shares an apartment with. How do you think that made me feel?”

“What are you even talking about?” Ryan laughed, surprised at how far Ben was going with his bullshit. A daddy bear? He was only six years older than Ash.

“Oh, come on. You know exactly what you’re doing,” Ben snapped back, getting more viscious as he realised that Ryan wasn’t willing to compromise with him. “You’re always there, or strutting about in just your underwear, drinking your beers in the living area and being overly friendly. You’ve been trying to fuck things up for the two of us for ages.”

Now Ryan did stop, turning to face Ben properly. “What planet are you living on?” he asked, completely flabbergasted. “I just try to be pleasant. I’m not trying to do anything.”

“Prove it then,” Ben shot back, seizing upon an opportunity. “If you’re really not trying to fuck things up between us, you’ll let this one little indiscretion slide.”

If Ryan hadn’t just had the hardest year of his life, dealing with some of the most despicable, bullying lawyers out there, he may have fallen for Ben’s game. As it was, he wasn’t afraid of standing his ground. “Tell him by the time I get home later. Or I will.”

Ryan crept into the apartment later that evening, finding Paul in the kitchen. “You missed some drama today,” he sighed. “Ash and Ben broke up. I walked in on it all before. It was so awkward.”

“Is Ash okay?” Ryan asked, relieved that Ben had listened to his ultimatum and done the deed himself.

“He’s in his room,” Paul nodded over to the bedroom door. “We’d best leave him be.”

Ryan nodded in complete agreement, deciding to hide out in his room that evening so that Ash didn’t need to see anyone when he would inevitably have to come out for a glass of water, or to use the bathroom.

The evening was slipping away and Ryan had just finished a TV series that he had been charging through for the last two weeks. There was still an hour until he would need to get to sleep; enough time for one last beer, before the inevitable daily grind would start all over again. He strutted out of his bedroom and made for the refrigerator, pausing only briefly to crack the can open and chug a little of it. He burped quietly, finding that the first few mouthfuls of fresh beer always made him the most gassy. Then, suddenly, he heard the door to Ash’s room opening and he stood there, feeling completely caught out.

“Hi,” Ash whispered, not making any pretenses that he was here for any other reason than to see Ryan.

Feeling incredibly awkward, Ryan now regretted coming out of his room without a shirt on; his bloated pot belly on full display. Before today, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but Ben’s words had planted an unpleasant seed in his mind that made him question everything he did a little bit more. “I’m sorry to hear about Ben,” he stated straight away. “How are you doing?”

Ash sighed and began to pour his heart out. He knew all about Ryan’s discovery earlier that day and he thanked the guy for doing the right thing.

“I’m just looking out for you,” Ryan nodded, swigging the last of his beer and crushing the can for recycling. He shouldn’t have really had another one. His stomach felt quite painfully bloated and tight after it.

“Oh, and about those things that Ben said to you,” Ash quickly jumped in, seeing that Ryan was heading back to his room. “I hope it’s not going to make things awkward between us.”

Ryan had to think for a second about what Ash was getting at. The crush? Was Ben actually telling the truth about that? “Um, no. Not at all,” he mumbled back, rubbing his hair with a little embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it,” he smiled, finally making his escape.

An evening out with Jack was exactly what Ryan needed a couple of weekends later, as Ryan’s divorce was at last finalised. Unlike Ryan’s months of hell, Jack’s appearance was symbolic of a life of sheer indulgence and pleasure. Unlike Ryan, his body was pure softness, with blubber beginning to creep its way into the guy’s neck and upper arms. His stomach had swollen quite considerably and his butt had a surprising width to it that Ryan had not expected.

“Listen, I didn’t want to message you about this. I kind of feel pretty bad asking you in some ways, knowing what you’re going through,” Jack started after Ryan had finished explaining how the divorce had eventually played out. “I wanted you to be my best man.”

Ryan smiled brightly. “Of course I will,” he beamed, getting up to hug his old friend warmly as he stayed sitting in his chair.

“Thanks,” Jack smiled. “It’s not going to be a huge wedding. Not everyone approves,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“How do you mean?” Ryan asked, sensing that Jack needed to offload.

“Well, Michelle’s parents aren’t coming,” he huffed. “They’d watched Michelle do this to her old boyfriend,” he explained, rubbing the quite substantial shelf of belly fat under his sagging nipples. “So when the same thing started happening to me, they told her they wanted no part in it.”

“Bonus!” Ryan joked, trying to remain upbeat. “My marriage certainly would have gone a lot smoother without the in-laws.”

Jack nodded, seeming to be somewhat in agreement. “Michelle’s not too cut up about it,” he whispered. “Then, well, you remember my dad. He still goes out running three times a week. So he’s not been all that in favour of Michelle and her wholesome home cooking..”

“You can’t live your life for your parents,” Ryan jumped in. It was a lesson he had learned somewhat bitterly when his own church-goin parents had taken Lucy’s side in the divorce. It made him think back to how much they had pushed him to get married in the first place, and he began to resent them, quite justifiably in his opinion.

“I know, I know…” Jack nodded. “And I wouldn’t change a thing. She’s it for me, y’know?”

Ryan raised his beer and they drank to that sentiment.

“What about you?” Jack asked next. “Is there someone new you’ve been holding back from me?”

Ryan shook his head. “No, not at all,” he stated. “Well… I mean…” he hesitated for a moment. “No. No one.”

But Jack’s interest had already been piqued. “Oh, come on. You can’t give me that and then say nothing!” he teased.

Ryan sighed, realising that he had dug himself into a bit of a hole. “It’s nothing,” he huffed at his own stupidity. “It’s just, one of the guys I live with has a bit of a crush on me.”

“Your first chubby chaser!” Jack laughed wickedly.

“Well…” Ryan conceded. “It looks that way, yes. His ex-boyfriend told me off for strutting around the place in just my underwear. He said I had a pot-belly and told me his boyfriend thinks of me as a hot daddy bear!”

Jack chuckled again. “Well, he’s not wrong. You do have quite the pot-belly!”

“Isn’t it a bit weird though?” Ryan asked his friend.

“Being referred to as a daddy bear when you’re only twenty nine?” Jack asked, simultaneously nodding in agreement. “But once you put on a bit of extra meat, that’s just the way people see you. It’s much more arousing to lean into it, rather than try to fight it.”

“Lean into it?” Ryan asked. “That’s your best advice?”

“Just enjoy the attention,” Jack smirked. “So what if he’s a twenty-four year old gay guy? You don’t have to be into someone to appreciate their admiration,” he nodded knowingly. “Trust me on this one. You’ll come to see that I’m right.”

With the divorce at last over with and all lawyers paid off, Ryan began to feel the financial strain starting to ease. Lucy hadn’t been quite as successful in getting all that she wanted from him. The worst case scenario was, thankfully, avoided. A few more months of living with the boys and Ryan would soon have saved enough money to rent his own place instead. With the ties that bound him to his ex-wife now finally disappearing, Ryan began to remember why he had fought so long for this freedom.

“I’ll have the Monster Meat bucket,” he declared, walking into a fast food place and not feeling guilty about the cost for the first time in months. He sucked in the smell of all the greasy goodness and knew that this was a freedom he would never again take for granted. Now he could gorge on as much as he desired and never have to explain himself to anyone. He could literally get as fat as he wanted now he was divorced and single, with no one to please but himself.

As he settled down into a seat, Ryan felt the bliss of devoting all his attention just to his epic meal for a full 20 minutes. It was all the stress relief he had ever needed. No one in here was particularly slim and it seemed, in those moments, that he had taken himself out of a world that so frustrated him, and into one that he felt comfortable in. Sure, he could probably join a gym and drop this weight in a relatively short amount of time. He could train his body hard and attract some beautiful girl to make his ex jealous. But Ryan knew that he had moved beyond that now. He didn’t care what his ex thought of him, or anyone else for that matter.

Or was Ryan just kidding himself? Was this really a moment of clarity? Or would he soon go crawling back to a diet plan the second things started getting rough? He was desperate to believe that wouldn’t be the case, but no one could ever be totally certain when it came to the future. It was only the present he could master. And so, armed with that knowledge, he went back to the counter, even though he felt almost too stuffed to even think about food.

“I’ll have the triple burger, please,” he stated, adding another milkshake to go with it. “He felt his hardess start to tingle, like the old days when he used to do this. Back then, he’d assumed it to be some twisted excitement about pissing Lucy off. Now he realised that this was so much more. This was about taking himself to somewhere he had never allowed himself to imagine going..

“Is this for you?” Ash asked, handing Ryan two boxes of pizza. “The delivery guy was coming up the stairs as I got home.”

“About time!” Ryan sighed, taking the boxes from him and settling back into the chair in front of the sofa. Two pizzas were a necessity for the Friday night baseball game and he was already four beers down. It would have been a perfect night but for the sticky humidity that had loomed over the city for the last few days; making him strip to his boxers as soon as he got home. “Do you follow baseball?” he asked Ash politely, nodding to the couch to see if he wanted to join him; knowing that, with Paul gone for the weekend, Ash would be on his own otherwise.

“No. Watching sports is not really my thing,” Ash replied unenthusiastically, despite continuing to linger around.

“Do you mind getting me another beer then?” Ryan asked,deciding to put the guy to work if he was so free to just stand about like this. 

Ash hopped to his task with remarkable speed. “Here you go,” he smiled delightedly, heading straight over and handing it over to him, not seeming to realise that he was blcoking part of the TV screen. “I’ve got some chips and dip if you want some?” he asked next.

“Sure,” Ryan nodded, hoping that the guy would at least sit down then and stop getting in the way.

Once again, Ash went to his task, presenting the chips and dip much better than Ryan ever would have. He placed them on the coffee table and then finally sat himself down on the couch. 

“You not having any?” Ryan asked five minutes later, noticing that it was only him actually eating.

“No, thanks,” Ash simply replied, pretending to be interested in the game. “They’re for you. Do you want another beer?”

Ryan felt the remaining liquid in his beer can and nodded, surprised by how diligently he was being looked after. Even when he asked Ash to fetch him the ice cream from the freezer later on, he was surprised that the young guy hopped to it, bouncing off the couch with an enthusiasm he had never seen before.

At the end of the game, Ryan took himself to the bathroom to relieve himself after the seven cans of beer he had ended up consuming. He looked in the mirror and marveled at the reflection he saw within it. Bloated and stuffed, Ryan had never seen his stomach looking so round and tight. Although he had upgraded his underwear a little while back, already these were looking worn and stretched, pulling the waistband down so that a good couple of inches of butt crack were on show. His muscular chest had started to build up with fleshiness in recent weeks and he placed his hand there to feel just how soft it was starting to get under his arms. He pulled the scales out with his foot and wondered just how much he weighed in this overfed state. He stepped on, waiting for the numbers to settle: 256lbs; the biggest number he had ever seen by quite some margin. It was, quite frankly, the cause of an almost instantaneous erection.

“I was wondering, if you’re still hungry, I could make you some pancakes?” Ash asked next as Ryan finally made it out of the bathroom. “I’ve got all the ingredients in.”

Ryan sat himself back down with a grunt and rubbed the shelf of his tight stomach, surprised that Ash was still hanging about the living area. Couldn’t he see how full Ryan was? Was he completely obvious to the heavy breathing and occasional grunt when he had to move, even slightly. He knew that the guy had a little crush, but what on earth was he possibly getting out of all this?

“Go on,” Ash pressed, actually trying to persuade him now. “Just a couple of them; nothing too big.”

Ryan looked up at the guy, already making his way to the kitchen and just waiting for that final nod of approval from him. Out of little more than curiosity, he agreed; watching with interest as he spied Ash settling to his task. Was he really using that much oil to fry the batter mix up? Was he actually rubbing butter into them? Did he really need to pour on that much syrup?

Despite tasting amazing, Ryan knew that every mouthful he was taking was completely and utterly packed full of calories and fat. As if desperate for his approval, Ash had watched him consume every bite of them. A sweat had begun to pour off Ryan’s forehead, but he wasn’t entirely sure that this one was caused by the humidity. “I am absolutely stuffed!” Ryan declared, grunting and rubbing the stretched out ball of stomach fat. “I haven’t eaten this much in ages,” he chuckled. “Not since I was trying to piss off my ex-wife after she told me she liked me being skinny.” “You were putting on weight on purpose?” Ash asked, quite startled by the comment.

“I was going for it, like you wouldn’t believe!” Ryan nodded. “Unless you’ve been through it, it’s hard to comprehend how petty you can be towards the end of a bad marriage,” he grinned, suddenly noticing that his hands were all over his own rounded stomach. “I was even taking this special calorie supplement shake you can buy, just to speed things up,” he laughed, thinking back.

“Oh!” Ash exclaimed knowledgeably, suddenly naming the exact brand .

They both went quiet. What a strange piece of trivia for Ash to just know, thought Ryan. The guy seemed to sense that too, suddenly looking a little sheepish. 

“Do you still take them?” Ash asked next, trying to look a little less interested than his excitable voice made him sound.

“I don’t need to,” Ryan grinned, tapping his fully grown pot belly. I just weighed myself twenty minutes ago. I’ve put on another 40lbs since I moved in here. It seems that I just can’t stop these days!” He yawned, standing up and stretching. “Anyway, buddy. I need to head to sleep,” he declared, seizing upon the fact that his erection from the overeating had at last subsided.

“Do you think there is a way to tell if someone is like your Michelle?” Ryan asked the next time he caught up with Jack at the very hastily organised stag party.

“How do you mean?” Jack asked, only a little worse for wear as he and Ryan gradually fell to the back of the crowd of friends taking them to the next bar.

“You know… Someone who is into the idea of helping someone else gain weight,” Ryan explained, trying to keep his voice fairly low.

Jack chuckled. “Oh, trust me, you’ll spot them!” he nodded. They’re not exactly subtle. “They’ll find ways to ensure you’re eating and they’ll probably want to watch too. If they’re anything like Michelle, they’ll probably try to keep your activity levels low and complement you at the weirdest times; like when you’re bloated from overeating.”

Ryan nodded, taking it all in and finding a striking resemblences to Ash’s more recent behaviours. “Anything else?” he asked.

Jack considered for a moment. “The compliments,” he added next. “They’re totally bizarre. If they’re praising you for overeating, that’s a pretty sure sign. But sometimes they may try to convince you that you look better, or more masculine, or whatever it is they think you want to hear. When the reality is, you just look fat.”

Again, Ryan nodded, keen to match Jack’s thoughts to his own observations of Ash. “You see, I think I might have…”

“Come on!” shouted their drunk friends up ahead. “The night is still young. Stop waddling behind and get your big butts up here!”

Jack and Ryan smirked at each other. Despite Jack’s rather considerable extra weight, Ryan had been lumbered in exactly the same category. The pair of them were, for better or worse, the fat guys on this trip.

“You’re back!” Ash smiled late the next day as an exhausted Ryan made it home. “Did you have a nice time? Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat?”

Ryan looked again at the time. “You’re still up!” he asked with surprise, knowing that Ash always had an early class on Monday mornings.

“Well, I wanted to check that you got home okay,”Ash replied, heading to the kitchen and renewing his offer to make something for his roommate.

Smirking at the fact that he was being fussed over and mothered by a good-looking twenty-four year old, Ryan had been disappointed that he hadn’t had more alone time to discuss this situation he was in, with his buddy, Jack. “Okay,” he nodded, deciding to just let Ash do his thing. “Sure, that would be nice.” He headed for a shower, returning to find an enormous, steaming hot lasagne, glistening with grease and cheese, sitting there on a plate, ready to be eaten. “Did you make this from scratch?” he asked Ash.

Ash nodded. “I remembered you saying that lasagne used to be your favourite dish growing up. I’ve never made it before, but I made a whole bunch of them and portioned them up in the refrigerator for when you get hungry.

Ryan smiled at the effort Ash had clearly gone to for him; a whole new level of care and attention. He opened his mouth to try some and nodded in approval. The lasagne really was delicious, although it was more than obvious just how much oil, cream and several different types of cheeses had gone into it to make it really quite extremely high in calories. If all the beer and fast food hadn’t ensured his pants would be tighter tomorrow, this little calorie bomb sure would.

“How was the weekend, anyway?” Ash asked, sticking around for the show and watching Ryan devour every bite.

“Pretty good,” Ryan nodded. “I had a couple of jibes from some of my old school friends about my weight. But we all turn thirty this year, so the dad-bod is definitely where most of them are at now anyway. I’m just the one who has already graduated from that stage,” he winked at Ash, tapping his gut.

“What did they say?” Ash asked with surprising interest, placing a cushion over his crotch.

“Oh, you know,” Ryan went on, deciding to play up to whatever kinky fantasies he thought his roomate may be having. “Just pointing stuff out to me: telling me how tight my clothes are, how slow I was when we were walking to different places and calling me out on how much I was eating when we went for food.”

“They’re probably just jealous,” Ash shot back straight away.

Ryan smirked. There was no way any of the guys were in the least bit jealous of his sprouting pot belly, making him all but invisible to the many hot girls they bumped into that weekend. This was clearly just another one of those bizarre compliments that Jack had told him to look out for. “Yeah, you’re right,” he lied to Ash, rubbing his bloating gut as he chugged down a few of the sodas Ash had supplied with his late night meal. “I’m sure they are jealous, deep down.”

Stepping on the scale was not something that Ryan did all that often. He could feel his stomach’s rounded shape starting to swell even larger, and he knew, from the fit of his underwear and pants, that his thighs and butt were also bearing the brunt of all that he was consuming each day. Still, as he stepped up, early one Sunday morning, after a particularly gluttonous take-out weekend of having the apartment to himself, Ryan’s eyes widened in shock: 278lbs! “Fuck!” he blasted in shock, before laughing to himself at how fast the latest few pounds had slipped on. He really weighed that much? He didn’t feel that heavy! He strolled over to the mirror inspecting his shape. Sure, his gut was pretty well developed by now and all the extra eating had sure softened his chest up rather a lot. He spun, noting that his butt’s width was quite considerable now, with back fat bulding at his sides and folding under his shoulder blades. Yet, he still didn’t feel like he should weigh 278lbs! Somehow, he had always imagined a guy that size being much bigger than this. What Ryan actually felt as he saw himself there, was very small still; acting as a licence for him to continue to indulge.

Jack’s wedding was fast approaching as the weeks rolled by. After being fitted for their suits, Ryan and Jack headed out for something to eat.

“That tailor seemed pretty pissed off that we left it this late to get ourselves measured for the wedding outfits,” Ryan noted as they sat down and grabbed the menus. “I guess we’ll have to cross our fingers that they can get those pants in for you in time.”

“It’ll be fine,” Jack shrugged. “I put on weight every week, so there would have been no point in going any earlier. I would just have outgrown them. “I’m almost 350lbs these days.”

Ryan nodded. Jack did indeed look impressively large, yet he was only 60lbs or so bigger than he was. And Ryan still felt tiny in comparison. “I know what you mean,” Ryan agreed. “I split some pants the other day. I’d only bought them four weeks before.”

“It’s weird, isnt it. When you’re gaining weight, you’re so tuned into how your body feels and looks. Yet, at the same time, you’re completely oblivious to it as well; how tight your clothes are getting, or how large you seem to other people.”

Ryan nodded enthusiastically. He felt so glad that Jack noticed this as well, sparking a lively conversation between the pair.

“You’ll be getting your own place soon, I take it?” Jack asked. “The two students you're sharing with must be graduating soon?”

“A couple of months,” Ryan nodded, suddenly realising that he had been a little lazy in his hunt for a new apartment. 

“That’ll be nice!” Jack smiled. “Your own space at last!”

“Well, it’s not too bad as it is,” Ryan explained. “Paul is never there at weekends. And now he’s got himself a girlfriend, he’s not there much in the week either.”

“And what about the other one? The one you used to fight with loads?”

“Yeah, he’s there a lot, but… we don’t argue so much these days,” he admitted; suddenly feeling the desire to say so much more about kinky little Ash.

“Before I foget,” Jack jumped in. “Michelle wants to know who you’re bringing as your ‘plus one’ to the wedding next week.

“I’ve got a ‘plus one’?” Ryan asked, genuinely surprised.

“Dude!” Jack grumbled. “Seriously?”

“I’ll find someone,” Ryan replied hastily, seeing how stressed Jack was getting.

“What about that girl you were hinting at when we briefly chatted during my stag party?” Jack asked, clearly keen to get a name locked in.

Ryan thought for a moment. Had Jack assumed he had some potential hot chubby chaser girl on the go? He pondered the idea, realising, quite suddenly, that he didn’t really need one. In the most unexpected way, everything that he had yearned for in life had already arrived. “Hey, Jack,” he asked thoughtfully. “How did you know that Michelle was the one for you?”

“She’s gorgeous,” Jack shot back with a sly grin.

“Besides that,” Ryan insisted. “How did you know that you guys were meant to be together?”

Jack sighed. “I guess…” he began softly, “...it was the way she made me feel: so loved and cared for; admired and adored. I’ve never felt that from anyone before.” He seemed moved, just by talking about her. “Plus she dominated me and forced me to pack on over 150lbs of pure fat; which is one of the kinkiest fucking things I could ever have imagined!” he joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Ryan laughed and nodded. He made a crack about how much fatter Jack might be after he got home from his honeymoon, but, really, his mind was elsewhere; with someone else entirely.

Ryan arrived home to see a large crate of beers resting on the kitchen counter tied up with a ginormous red bow. He laughed, seeing that it was his favourite brand and noticing that a large tray of assorted doughnuts lay beside it.

“Do you like your present?” Ash asked, coming out of his bedroom with a huge smile on his face.

“You bought these for me?” Ryan asked, feeling his mouth watering at the sight of the doughnuts, even after how much he had eaten with Jack that afternoon.

As if psychically linked, Ash began unpackaging the doughnuts for him, leaving them open for him to stuff one into his mouth. “They’re to say thank you. I just had my novel manuscript accepted for publishing.”

Ryan nearly spat out his doughnut. “You’ve been writing a novel?” he blasted in shock. “Since when?”

“Since you kept reminding me that I need to do something with my life; back when you first moved in.”

“I was being an asshole,” Ryan confessed. “I didn’t mean to make you feel…”

“You gave me the kick up the ass that I needed,” Ash threw back with a smile. “You always told me how clever I was and that I could do anything.”

“You’re an amazing person,” Ryan marvelled. “In fact, you’re the best person I’ve ever met in my life!” For weeks now, he had worried that his behavious around Ash, indulging his little feeder tendencies in subtle ways, had only brought the guy to fetishize him. Their relationship was merely one of a simple exchange: Ryan would enjoy being overfed and catered for by his roommate, and Ash would get to enjoy the subtle art of ensuring a guy that he found attractive, continued to pile on a few pounds. Now, however, every sense felt strangetly heightened in this moment of celebration. He couldn’t believe that Ash had been secretly writing away for months when Ryan had assumed the guy to be inside his bedroom, playing games. Just how blind had he been this entire time?

Ryan took a step forward and Ash did not retreat. He grabbed the much smaller guy’s shoulders and held them firmly. Again, Ash did not stop him. Then, seeing the inviting, warm look on Ash’s face, Ryan took the biggest risk of his life, going in for a kiss and desperately hoping that Ash’s lips would move to meet his.

Unbelievably, Ash was kissing him back, moaning gently, as if luxuriating in something he had never wanted more in his life. The kiss became intense, very quickly. With his shirt lifted off him, Ryan felt the handsome guy’s hands rubbing all over his stomach. Before he knew it, Ryan was being guided into the living space, his sweatpants ripped down and then his body pushed with surprisingly kinky force, back into his usual chair in front of the TV. 

Ryan looked up at Ash with startled arousal. The guy seemed so naturally suited to taking charge. He would have known that this was Ryan’s first gay experience and he led the way with ease, erasing any opportunity for awkward fumblings to slip in. He cracked open one of the chilled beers and fetched the tray of doughnuts from the kitchen counter. Then, when he was sure that Ryan was settled, he plunged his whole mouth down onto the fat guy’s crotch.

Ryan’s whole body twitched.This wasn’t a blow job, he thought to himself, feeling the intense stimulation straight away. He found himself moaning, even when he was trying not to. Was this intense pleasure what it was supposed to have been like all along? Lucy had never made much of an effort with anything in the bedroom, but Ash’s mouth was doing things to him that Ryan could never have dreamed of. He supped on his beer and ate a doughnut, feeling Ash’s hands rubbing the spherical shape of his stomach, clearly getting off on making this moment all about him.

Barely two doughnuts in and Ryan felt his body lurching as it wanted to climax. Ash worked his pace even more, feeling the throbbing in his mouth. Then, when the moment came, he pushed his mouth even deeper, sending Ryan’s hardness all the way down his throat. The pleasure; the orgasm; that intensity. It was unlike anything Ryan had ever experienced in his life. 

There was no going back.

Over the following week, Ryan discovered that Ash had a whole arsenal of tactics to please him. Not only did the guy continue to fuss over him with his cooking and snack deliveries, but his tight, energetic little butt seemed determined to outdo every single previous sexual experience that Ryan had ever had. They spoke at length about their attraction to each other and how smitten they both had become. Ryan had no hesitation in inviting Ash to be his date for Jack’s wedding. And, in fact, spending so much time with a now professional writer, really helped Ryan to produce the best speech he could have wished for. Rather than feeling sick with nerves as the big day arrived, he felt excited and pumped, heartily stuffing himself on the big breakfast Ash had so lovingly prepared for him.

“Your friends really aren’t keen on Michelle, are they?” Ash commented later that evening, as the pair of them were reunited after Ryan’s time sitting at the top table and the endless photographs that needed taking.

“Um, no,” Ryan nodded. “Not so much.”

“I had no idea that your friend, Jack, used to be so slim before he met her,” he whispered, fearing that one of their families might overhear. “Your buddies seem to think she’s the devil incarnate!”

Ryan chuckled. He’d heard it all before. “She’s lovely really,” he tried, looking over at the pair of them as Michelle spoonfed her 350lb husband a large piece of their wedding cake. “She just… knows what she wants.”

“I think everyone here can see exactly what it is she wants,” Ash joked back as Jack’s full, swollen belly was patted with approval by his new wife. “It makes me wonder what your friends are going to say about me eventually.”

Ryan pulled Ash into him by holding his slim hips in his chubby hands. They had decided that it was best to go easy on the public displays of affection, considering that this was their first time out together as a couple. However, Ryan simply could not help himself.  “Oh, yes?” he asked keenly.

“I certainly don’t have any plans to put you on a diet,” Ash grinned, fingering the skin between the stretched buttons of Ryan’s beer swollen gut.

Ryan growled in lustful approval. His hands slipped onto Ash’stight, toned butt and pulled the guy in even closer.

“In fact, how come you’re not eating a big slice of wedding cake for me right now?” Ash teased.

Ryan moaned lightly. This was exactly what he wanted. He knew how much scrutiny he was under today. He could feel the judgemental eyes upon him, for his shocking weight gain, the fit of his tight shirt, and the fact that he was dating someone none of them had ever expected. He should have been nervous or self conscious. However, with Ash in his arms, Ryan had never felt more free to be himself. “But won’t that make me even fatter?” he teased back.

Ash smiled. “Oh… I hadn’t thought of that,” he joked, accepting the kiss that Ryan soon bestowed upon him.

Ryan felt Ash’s hands feeling his big, broad butt as they kissed; the pants he had been measured for only a week ago, starting to feel rather uncomfortable after only a week of dating the handsome twenty-four year old. The kiss ended and both of them laughed, realising how ridiculously long it had taken to get to this point. 

“Is this along the lines of what you had in mind for me?” Ryan asked moments later, pushing out his stomach as far as it would go and stretching those buttons even more.

Ash seemed thrilled, looking around the room in surprise that Ryan was making himself look so large in front of everyone that he knew at the wedding. He smiled, rubbing the underside of Ryan’s ball-like gut and then leaned in to whisper. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” he teased.

Ryan growled in lustful appreciation, then took his boyfriend’s hand and led the way to the wedding cake.

Exactly one year to the day, Ryan and Ash were sitting in that same room, together with Jack and Michelle, celebrating a year since the wedding. They reminisced fondly, thinking about the perfect day it had been and laughing about how shocked everyone had been after Jack came back 30lbs heavier from his two week honeymoon. 

“You can’t be far off the weight I was this time last year,” Jack noted, surveying his buddy’s hefty appearance.

“Possibly,” Ryan nodded, rubbing his large stomach. “I still  don’t feel big yet though,” he replied, as if he was oblivious to the enormous ball-shaped gut and the groaning of the chair, supporting his wide butt and mostrous 347lb body.

“Unless I ask him to do something,” Ash jumped in comically. “Then he always says he’s too fat to do anything!” he joked, making everyone chuckle.

“I’m actually going to be pushing Jack to five hundred pounds this year,” Michelle explained, taking her morbidly obese husband’s hand as if this was an announcement that thay had been planning for some time.

Ryan noticed Jack staring at his face for a reaction; perhaps some surprise that his old school buddy was so ensnared by his beautiful wife that he was willing to take his weight gain to such extremes for her.

“He’s going to be a lot of work for you at that size!” Ash grinned conspiratorily at Michelle. “I hope you’re ready for that?” he laughed.

“Oh, I’m counting on it!” Michelle smirked, rubbing the 430lb man’s knee under the table.

“You’re a very lucky guy,” Ryan nodded at his friend in approval.

“There you go, Ash,” Michelle smirked. “It sounds like we may have another willing volunteer to join the five hundred pound club,” she nodded towards a jealous looking Ryan.

“You’re joking aren’t you?” Ryan laughed. “Ash is heading off on his second book tour in March. “I won’t be gaining anything for almost two months whilst he’s gone. I’ll probably just wate away!”

“You liar!” Ash teased him back. “Last time I was away, you pretty much lived on takeout and put on almost twenty pounds in a month,” he chuckled.

“I don’t remember you complaining,” Ryan smiled back; his voice dripping with affection and lust.

Michelle looked at them both, clearly wanting to cut through their mushy meanderings. “So, five hundred pounds?” she asked again, trying to circle the conversation back. “I’m getting the impression that you boys are kinky enough to enjoy seeing that on Ryan,” she pressed; ever the bad influence.

Ryan and Ash looked at each other with a wicked excitement in their eyes.

“We’ll talk about it when we get home,” Ash stated diplomatically. Unlike Michelle, he liked to be a little more discreet about his kinks and fantasies when it came to enjoying Ryan’s large body.

Ryan smirked and winked at his old buddy Jack. He knew exactly how to read between the lines of whatever Ash said. There was no way he was going to pass up the opportunity to get Ryan to that size. And so, just like his high school best pal, Ryan was as good as setting sail for five hundred pounds. How insanely arousing was that?

“Eat up, my friend,” Ryan smiled competitively at Jack. “I’m coming for you, Fat Boy!” 

[desperate-gay]

1v1

Alexia Putellas x fem!reader

“Hi, I’m Kelley O'Hara, and this is one v one. Today I am joined by former NWSL player who now plays for Barcelona and the USWNT, Y/n Y/l/n!” Kelley does jazzy hands towards you while you smile and wave at one of the many cameras pointed at the two of you.

Both you and Alexia decided to take a trip to the states so you could see all of your friends and family and so Alexia could take a break from all the press who followed her around. You both share an apartment in New York in case you’re ever in the US and, obviously, a house in Spain. Kelley asked if you’d be okay with doing one of the interviews she conducts with Just Women’s Sports, and of course, you said yes. You’ve missed her since the World Cup ended, so who were you to say no? Alexia decided to stay back and rest for a bit while you went.

You’re now seated in front of multiple cameras with a few crew members and beside Kelley. The room you’re in is nice and calm, and the window behind you allows the natural light to peek its way in.

“Now, getting straight into it, I introduced you as Y/n Y/l/n, but soon you won’t have that name,” Kelley smirks with a teasing eyebrow while you blush and fiddle with the ring on your finger. “Seeing as your lover, aka the goat of soccer, aka la reina, aka Alexia Putellas, proposed to you a couple of months ago.”

You laugh at the multiple names the brunette presents your fiancé with. “First of all, Alexia is going to be mad at you for calling it soccer and her la reina. Second, yes, my name will very soon be legally changed.” Kelley starts applauding with a bright smile on her face.

“I can’t believe two of my teammates are going to be married to basically the two best female soccer players ever! Mrs. and Mrs. Putellas, then Mrs. Kerr and Mrs. Mewis.” You nod excitedly, hoping for your wedding to approach sooner.

“I remember when you came up to me and Kristie, explaining to us how we couldn’t talk to our fiancé’s about our game plans.” The defender laughs and nods her head, remembering how offended both of you looked. “Me and Kristie are still mad at you for not trusting us.”

Kelley puts her hands in fake surrender before going on to explain. "Well, a couple of us were thinking about how you two are with the enemy, and one of us just had to make sure.”

“A couple of you?” You shout in disbelief, making her look at the camera with a worried face. “Nope, cut the cameras. Interview is off!” You joke as you make it look like you’re taking off your mic. The crew chuckles at your guy’s antics and shakes their heads.

—

After several minutes of talking about why you moved to Barca and how you’ve been over there, you are now down to the last discussion.

“As we all know, you’re with Alexia Putellas, as previously mentioned. A lot of fans want to know how the it couple met.” Kelley’s legs are crisscrossed on the chair while she faces you. “I mean, I already know the story, but gotta give the fans what they want.”

Thinking back, it was a cute little story. A couple of Spanish players were in the states for whatever reason, most likely for conferences, and you didn’t have anything to do that day.

“Well, we all know my bestest friend is the one and only Christen Press, and she’s also friends with the amazing Jenni Hermoso. So when word got around they were in town, everyone set plans to go to this nice club and essentially hang out. I specifically remember after Chris and Tobin dragged me with them when we got there and sat in the round booths, both Jenni and Chris forced me and Alexia in the middle to sit next to each other. We got to talking, and eventually, we went on a couple of dates until Jenni and Christen finally admitted they had been trying to set us up.”

Most of what you say is true, but you leave out some parts to keep it PG. After you both got extremely drunk, Alexia dragged you to her hotel room, where you both had an unrestful night. The next morning, she did explain how she’d love to take you on a date, to which you said yes, and now you’re happily engaged. After you two were together for around a year and a half, Barca had an offer for you, which you quickly accepted. Everyone adored how you moved to the club with your fiancé.

Kelley’s head rests on her hand as she stares at you in a complete trance. “Tell me more.”

You laugh at her words and say, “Umm, oh! Now Christen is my maid of honor for our wedding, and Jenni is Alexia’s. Mapi was not happy about being knocked down to just a bridesmaid or groomsman, whatever you want to call it.”

“I’m a little offended that I wasn't offered the position of maid of honor.” The brunette places a hand on her heart in fake hurt, making you roll your eyes.

“You’re literally one of my bridesmaids. I can just put you as a guest if you want."

“No! No, I’m cool with bridesmaids.”

—

Once the interview was done, you and Kelley hung out for a little bit to catch up. After a while, she offered you a ride back to your apartment, which you gladly accepted.

Alexia is sitting on the couch with Nala in her lap when she hears the fiddle of keys in the doorway. The pomeranian jumps up from her lap and over towards the place where you now stand. You crouch down and pet through her fur.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hola, mi amor.” Alexia makes her way over to you and pecks you on the lips.

“I was actually talking to this one.” You gesture to the dog that’s now panting in your arms. The taller girl glares at you and takes Nala from your arms before beginning to walk away. “No no no no no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You say as you press multiple kisses on her lips.

“That’s what I thought.” She mumbles against you and sets the ball of fluff on the ground. Her hands grab onto your hips, pulling you in, and start to wrap around your waist. She nuzzles her face in the crook of your neck while placing feather-like kisses on your skin. “I’ve missed you.”

You wrap your arms back around her, feeling all of your tension go away. “Awe, I’ve missed you too, baby. I know I’ve only been gone for a few hours, but it felt like years.” Your voice is muffled by your face being pressed against her chest.

“I’m glad you decided to sleep with the enemy.” You pull back from the embrace and notice her little smirk.

“You saw the interview, huh?”

The Spanish player nods before hooking her arm behind your legs and lifting you up. “Now, I have been patiently waiting for you to get home so I can get my daily cuddles.”

She struts off into your bedroom and throws you, not so gently, on the bed. Cutting off your complaining, she jumps on top of you, hugging your body and resting her head on your stomach. You shake her head with a smile on your face and begin to run your fingers through her faded pink hair. Her head slowly rises and falls due to your breathing, but it still lulls her right to sleep. Nala jumps beside you and also rests her head on your chest, causing you to smile softly and run your other hand through her fur. There is no other place you’d rather be than with your two favorite girls sleeping on top of you.

[uzurimisery]

like real people do. / kageyama tobio / nsfw

wc: 5.5k

Warnings: Kageyama is autistic, smut, fingering, reader has nipple piercings, reader works in A&R for music, reader used to live in brazil, friends to lovers, awkward sex

A/N: experimenting with more awkward/realistic smut and I love my autistic blorbo Kageyama

thank you to @peachyminx and @dervngedgf for beta reading

Kageyama never did understand the way that conversations worked, or were supposed to work. They were winding, circuitous, jumping from place to place. Unstable like a fault line, bursting from tension. The older he got the more he began to have a loose grasp on them. One so faint it slipped from his fingers if there was too much deviation. It hadn’t been easy to get to this point. It took years of failed attempts at making friends, three failed relationships, and a PR manager to get here. 

Hardly a gentle climb into social know-how. 

There was a script that worked in most situations. The gym, interviews, the grocery store, casuals and quick conversations weren’t altering his normal routine in any major way.  He liked things being the normal way.

So why the hell was he in a club? A place that went so far against the normal?

It had been Hirugami’s idea, he said that the team needed to bond more. Kageyama knew it was just a thinly veiled excuse to get drunk on the team’s card.

 It was awful— the drinking.

Conversations were bad enough while sober, small talk, social cues being a forge in language, and alcohol just made him feel worse about them. The script was thrown across the room and given to an AI generator that made something worse for him to spit back out. 

The pounding music, early 2000s rap, split his head with each drum beat feeling like it was played against his skull. He could smell everything, the foreigners easily able to be picked out from the crowd. The buttons on his navy blue dress shirt had started choking him early so it was now half undone, which he hated. Shirts were meant to have only one, or two, buttons undone depending on the level of formality of the event attending. How many were appropriate for a club? At four buttons down the curve of the underside of his pecs could be seen. 

He felt out of place, out of his element, and like a child sitting at the grown-ups' table for the first time and trying to seem mature. 

“Tobio!” Nicolas shouted at him from across the booth. “When are you going to bring them around again?” 

His face scrunched up. “Why?” 

“Because if you’re not going to make a move I am!” Nicolas’ laugh was grating and sharp. “They used to live not far from my parents. A shame it took until now to meet.”

“I thought you were working things out with Maria?” Kageyama had stopped bringing you around after one too many comments on how he was in love with you and afraid to make a move. Something Nicolas harped on him for and took every opportunity to flirt with you in front of him. 

“Por que não ambos? Maria doesn’t have to know.” Kageyama hated the smirk that spread across the Brazilian's face. He knew that Nicolas was teasing him, just like he knew Nicolas wasn’t interested in you in the slightest, but it always drove him up the wall.

Wakatoshi cut in, voice steady and flat, as always. As much as Kageyama struggled with conversations he knew Wakatoshi would be right there with him. “I believe we have discussed many times that Kageyama-san has stated he is waiting for a better opportunity to discuss his feelings with them.” 

“That’s what he said last week and three months ago and then six months ago.” Sokolov chimed into the conversation now, monkey-like as he usually was, followed by Heiwajima.

“You really should talk to them about it. Either way, you need closure to get past your emotional constipation.” 

Kageyama wanted to crawl into a hole. It was bad enough having to figure out his feelings but having them discussed in front of him made him want to jump off the side of Tokyo Tower. His feelings were complicated. Tangled and messy, blending into each other. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to separate them let alone tell you about them.

“Guuys chill, chill,” Hirugami was back with another round of drinks. “Tobio will get to it when pigs fly.” The team busted out laughing. It was humiliating no matter how many times they all poked at him about it. The only way that he’d ever get them to stop was to confess to you.

“Fuck you guys.” He was grumpy now, grumbling into his drink as he took a swig. 

The chorus all said they just wanted the best for him, that there was no way you didn’t feel the same way, that it was all in good faith, all stuff to make them feel better about teasing him. He hated being teased. 

Maybe if he just told you they’d finally leave him alone about it. You might get distant for a bit but he had faith that you could be friends again down the road. 

“If I tell them tonight will you guys leave me alone about it?”

Nicolas’ sly look managed to get worse. “You tell them tonight and I’ll give you ten thousand yen.” 

“Deal.” 

Slipping his phone out of his front pocket and pulling up your contact information had never felt so stressful. He didn’t need the money, he just wanted to be left alone about this. 

To: Best Brazilian

Can you meet me outside Playa Del Sol? 

From: Best Brazilian

You’re at a club?

To: Best Brazilian

I wasn’t my idrea 

Typing was hard. The heat of all the bodies in the room made his hand slippery. 

From: Best Brazilian

Lucky you, I’m just down the street at a gig

>You think you’d be fine to hang out for that? Local band

To: Best Brazilian 

As long as it’s not Sean Paul 

From: Best Brazilian

Kk see you in 10 

Kageyama was, as usual, grateful for your friendship as he excused himself from the group and headed outside to wait for you. More often than not you served as a refuge for him. One of the few people in the world who truly understood him. You didn’t question his mannerisms and need for routine. 

Once he had asked if you thought he was weird, as flawed as he felt, and you had looked at him as if the question was stupid and gave a simple ‘no.’ 

Meeting you had been a deviation from the norm in the best way. Hinata had been visiting and when they were out they bumped into you, surprised since you had been a manager at one of Hinata’s favorite jazz clubs back in Brazil. 

Kageyama got lost in the conversation as Hinata and you bounced between English, Portuguese, and Japanese when speaking. You had corrected and steered the conversation to Japanese, seeing Kageyama’s confusion. 

Your Japanese was clunky back then, and your mouth still struggling with the syllables at times. More than that, your understanding of pitch accent back then was abysmal.

But that meeting had changed his world, shifted its axis. 

Eventually, Hinata’s two-month vacation ended and he left, and Kageyama expected you to leave his orbit too. But you didn’t, you stayed around. It’s been three years and you were still around. And it's been a year since he realised he loved you. 

When the night air had started to sink in, sweat from the club finally drying, he saw you round the corner. 

Every time he saw you he thought he’d get used to how beautiful you were but he never could. You were bright as the sun, warming him, the rays of your light brushing across his skin promised growth, comfort, and shelter. 

Your braids had been half pulled back in some sort of half-updo, two ponytails at the top of your head. He has watched you do them the other week. Or he had been watching before you made him help you since he was sitting there. He didn’t know how to braid at all, but you made him learn. Told him your continued friendship was dependent on it.

He was glad you made him learn though. It gave him an excuse to be in your space, close to you, for hours on end. To touch you without worrying if the amount of contact was normal or not. 

“Tobio!” His name always sounded so perfect coming from your glossed lips. There was a twinkle in your eyes. You had done your makeup for “special events” as you had once explained it to him. Instead of a normal cat eye, you had graphic black eyeliner. He never understood why you wore makeup but he knew that it was something you enjoyed doing. 

He stumbled a bit as he moved towards you, wetting his lips with his tongue as he said your name.

“Whoa careful there big guy! How much have you had to drink tonight?” 

Your arm grasped his bicep, his heart stuttering at the contact.

“Three double vodka cranberries and one beer.”

Your brows raised. “Rough time in there huh?”

“You have no idea.” Kageyama launched into recounting what had happened. 

One of his favourite things about you was how you didn’t press on topics he didn’t want to talk about. You left the conversation shift onto the gig you dragged him to and about the band. His second favourite thing about you was your willingness to unabashedly talk about your interests. Your job as an A&R at Sony meant you were always talking to him about a new band or artist. Before meeting you he wouldn’t consider himself someone who cared about music much. It was just something to help him keep pace while running. He didn’t understand why people liked it. But by watching you he started to dissect the reasons. 

It wasn’t a conscious decision, no grand realisation listening to a recommendation from you. It was a gradual shift. He started listening to more things, trying to pick out ones you’d like and he could send them to you. It was only after Wakatoshi had pointed out he was humming one day that he clocked the change went beyond just you.  

When you got to the venue, you flashed your Employee ID at security and pulled Kageyama in behind you.  It was just as dimly lit as the club but the smaller venue made it less obstructive. You had dragged him here before for a folk singer-songwriting you signed after the show. He had no idea what he was about to listen to but he knew if it was you, it’d be good. 

You led him to the middle of the standing-room area. You preferred a more central location so you could observe the artist’s dynamics and stage presence. While he would normally want to be on the outskirts, he didn’t mind being in the middle. It was crowded though so you were stood in front of him. Someone walked past and knocked you back against him. 

“Sorry!” You knew that he didn’t like physical contact much, so you created space as soon as you could. It pained him. 

“It’s okay. I don’t mind if it’s you.” When you smiled up at him, he felt like he was going to short-circuit. “Who are we discovering today?” 

Another person bumped you into him, shifting your balance and almost causing you to fall. He wrapped his arms around you to stabilise you before he even knew what he was doing.

You muttered under your breath something about expecting better from the crowd here. “You remember Hozier?” 

He knew who Hozier was. You had forced him to listen to Hozier’s entire discography one day. He liked Hozier. In another world maybe he would be as good with his words as the singer was. He could write you poems and sonnets, tell you all the little things about you that made him feel right. As much as he might try now, he couldn’t so he hoped that you wouldn’t hold it against him.

“Yes. You made me listen to his entire discography.” His throat felt dry. “I don’t believe I understood all the metaphors but he has a good voice.”

“Well, imagine Hozier if he was Japanese. And he blended traditional instruments, taiko drums and all that, with a raspy voice and great lyricism.” 

“I see.”  His gaze shifted, watching you adjust in his arms. He wondered if he should release you if he was supposed to have let go three seconds ago or held on longer. Now he was scared to move and make it weirder by moving.

“Sorry, should I let you go?” He was nervous, anxiety creeping, edging him out of the buzz he had from drinking earlier and into harsh sobriety. 

“No, it’s okay. I’m kinda cold and you’re really warm.” 

“Okay.”

The conversation between the two of you died down and Kageyama wanted to make a clone of himself and shake it around. What the hell was he doing? Under the dim lights, the first few chords starting to play, cradling you in his arms, he felt so nervous. 

The opening band started to fill the room with an instrumental. Their first two songs went by quickly enough at least. You would sway along, occasionally bobbing your head to the beat. Your eyes were focused on them as they performed. Someone might look over and think you were a long-time fan of the opening act, enraptured by their performance, but Kageyama knew you. You were appraising them, seeing if they had potential.

As their set drug on, he found himself watching you more than the band. Your brows would twitch, pulling together in the middle for a split second, every time they did something you considered to be a technical miss. You had told him that bands were like a team of volleyball players. 

When you explained it you said that singers were like aces. The powerhouse that made a team stand apart from their opponents. Drums were the setter. They set the tempo, and the flow, of the song Guitars were like hitters, driving down the point. Keys or synths were liberos, not always on the track but essential for making a good song, and basses were middle blockers, getting a perfect read and keeping the team grounded. So far it seemed like the band was winning their set. 

He liked watching you like this, seeing you the most in your element. It hurt his heart, made it tight in his chest from how your eyes darted across the stage. It felt like ripping off a bandage. Diving without a kneepad and your skin tearing on the polished floor of the court.  Like hand sanitiser in a superficial wound. Painful, but knowing that the pain was a sign of growth, of healing. 

The lighting changed, hues of pink and red, as the frontman started talking about their next and final song. He was telling the crowd to grab their lovers, pull them close, and sway along with the music. Kageyama nearly choked when you turned to face him and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“Well hello lover.” you giggle at the last word, joking about your relationship. While didn’t like the joking nature of it, he wanted it to be real, he liked you calling him it. Your fingernails scratched at the nape of his neck, tangling in the hairs there.

He had had too much to drink and feeling your chest against his own was making the blood rush from his head and straight to his groin. He felt like a teenage boy, unable to keep himself from growing hard. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he swore he could feel your nipples. 

His breath hitched as he went to respond, low and raspy in your ear. “Hello.” Kageyama wanted to say something better, more suave and flirtatious, wishing for a second that he could embody the same way with women Nicolas had. 

“How much did you have to drink?” 

“Not enough.” His cheeks were flush, he needed something in this moment. To pull you closer against himself or to push you away so you didn’t catch on to his growing hard-on. 

Your heartbeat against his own in the confined space, slower than his rapid one. The music drowned out, turning to background sounds as he stared into your eyes. Eye contact was normally so forced for him, constantly having to remind himself to make it. It felt so much more intense with you like you could see through him. He loved your eye colour and the way the corners of your eyes crinkled when you smiled. 

Your lips curled up into a smile as you gazed at him, coated in a shimmery gloss that smelt like vanilla. Your tongue poked out the wet your lips, something you always did when you needed to reapply the lip gloss. He wanted to know what it felt like against his own. If it was as sticky as it looked. If it’d pull into fine strands as you separated. 

“What are you staring at so intensely? I feel like you’re dissecting me.” 

He felt loose and sappy from the drinks earlier, more willing to take risks.

“You. I’m staring at you.” 

“Me?”

His eyes shifted up to meet yours again. “You.” You chuckled a little bit at him before replying. 

“Why?”

“I want to kiss you.” The words slipped out of him before he could stop them, once again putting his foot in his mouth. You were going to reject him, tell him off for violating your boundaries. He’d have to text Hinata tomorrow that he fucked up with you and that everything went wrong. 

“Kiss me.” The first time you said the words it didn’t compute in his brain. 

“Tobio, kiss me.” He stood frozen, short-circuiting, he had been so set on an outcome that a change in path threw him off.

The trance was broken when he felt your lips against his, sticky from the lip gloss as he imagined. You were soft, like a feather brushing across his kiss, gentle and tentative. When you pulled away from him it felt like he could breathe again. You tasted sweet, no doubt partially from the lip gloss but also just you. He wanted more.

Kageyama leaned in, one hand tentatively reaching up to the side of your face to cradle it. His lips met yours again it started with pecks, gentle like you had been, before building in intensity. It felt like Kageyama had been starving for years, the sensation unknown and accepted as just a part of living, but as your mouth opened and his tongue met yours he realised that his hunger, his craving, his desire, had been an aspect of himself so far removed from his understanding until this moment. He understood want and need now that he had tasted you.

The heat of your breath melting with his own made his nerves alight as you parted for air. 

“I’m in love with you.” Your forehead met his shoulder and you laughed. 

“Tobio I know,” it was like the lights in the room knew to shine down around you giving you a halo. “You’re not good at hiding it.”

“I’m sorry.”  You tucked your head under his chin and he let his hands slip down from your waist and into your back pockets, feeling emboldened by your actions.

You swayed with him to the beat of the song as the transition music into the main act’s set began. 

“If it’s any consolation I found it cute.” Your lips met the side of his neck and you tilted upwards to his ear. “I’m in love with you too.”

He joined you in shifting side to side, enjoying the moment as you murmured against his skin, voice warmth with honesty. He didn’t understand it all, but he understood you in this moment, the shared feeling of love between you. One old and ancient, but never weathered by time, still steadfast in its stature. Unending, unshifting. 

The “Japanese Hozier” stepped out onstage and Kageyama let you turn to face the stage, moving to take his hands off you only to find them being wrapped around your waist again, guided by your hands.  He wouldn’t remember the set list, or the singer's performance, too entangled in you and feeling you in all his senses to care about anything else. 

───※ ·❆· ※───

You had brought him home after the show, still humming some of the songs as you puttered around. He had changed as you made a midnight snack for the two of you. His hair hung in clumped damp strands as he played sudoku on his phone waiting for you to finish up. You hated when he got in your way in the kitchen. 

With a plate full of mini pancakes you plopped down on the couch next to him, your makeup removed and hair up. He liked you the most like this, relaxed and human. Sometimes he worried you were an angel sent down from the heavens to make him believe in god but instead drove him to sin.

He took one off the plate when you moved it closer to him. Chewing on it slowly, watching you nibble on yours. 

“You wanna talk about it?” His eyes were peeled on your lips. 

“Only if you’re comfortable.” 

“I’m fine…” you moved and placed the plate on the coffee table. “Good, actually. Great even.”

“I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “For what?”

“I don’t know.” He felt so many things right now it was difficult to verbalise any of them.

You pulled your knees to your chest and faced him. A braid fell into your face and you tucked it behind your ear. Every time he looked at you he understood poetry and prose, songs of admiration, why men would go to war over their lovers. It was nonsensical, to think you could see stars in someone's eyes, but you reflected the lights of the room like a planetarium. He thought that he might die before he found the words to express his thoughts and feelings to you, to get his point across, but he knew with you he didn’t have to. He had never had to. 

His hand encompassed your own, interlocking his fingers with yours. They fit together like puzzle pieces, you the last piece needed to complete the puzzle. Simple connection, conjoining of spirits. 

Kageyama tugged on your hand, pulling you towards himself, making you come to rest on your shins in between his legs. He kissed the back of your hand, softly, tenderly, still afraid that there was something he was missing. But the ball never dropped, the tower never crumbled, and he led you further forward, your free hand resting at his chest before slithering up the back of his neck. 

He couldn’t tell if it was you or him who moved first, closing the distance between you, your lips meeting again. It felt more tentative than the first ones had. Careful and measured, aware of the space, the boundaries, the dynamic you had had. Of how that was shifting, changing, as the pretences you had were changed. 

Kageyama dropped your hand in favour of wrapping his around your waist, guiding you to manoeuvre into his lap. Your ass rested against his groin. The longer he kissed you, the more he felt himself growing hard, aided by your hips grinding down on him. Once on a night out with the team, you had danced with him and it was then that he learned of how fluid you were. Tonight you were water, dripping down on him, swirling around him, wetting his skin. 

He palmed at the waistband of the sleep shorts you had changed into, desperately wanting to remove them but unwilling to force you into something. You pulled away from kissing him to remove your shorts, left in just your underwear and oversized shirt. Kageyama quickly stripped off his shirt before kissing you again, this time letting it evolve into making out with you.

One of your hands moved to his lower abdomen, brushing against his happy trail, making him shiver. He felt you palm at his length through his sweats, slow and sensually. His dick was bigger than you thought it’d be. Average girth but one or two inches longer than expected.  

“Can I touch you?” 

“Yes.” His response was quick, jumping the gun, eager to have you take him in your hand. 

When your skin met his Kageyama swore he might cum from it. His emotions were high-strung, making him more sensitive. He whimpered as your thumb crossed over the tip. 

Your hands felt like velvet against him, smooth and soft, your touch gentle but firm, supplying the perfect amount of pressure as you began sliding it up and down his shaft. His stomach muscles tightened as you went along, pulling him in on himself. It should be criminal that you made him feel such a way from something so simple, reducing him into a schoolboy being touched for the first time. 

He wrapped a hand around your wrist to stop your movements, separating from kissing you to speak. 

“I’m going to cum if you do that too much.”

“That’s the goal Tobio.” 

“Yes, I know, but I would like to make you cum before I do.” 

You gave a small smile, butterflies flitting around in his stomach as you did. “Well, who am I to stop you?”

You crossed your arms as you took off your shirt. When you changed earlier you must not have put on a bra. The curve of your waist he knew already to be temptation incarnate, but the swell of your chest would turn any many into a sinner. 

Your nipples were hard as they were exposed to the cool air of your apartment, small silver balls catching the overhead light. 

“You have your nipples pierced?” 

You cupped your breasts, pinching your nipples. Tobio’s eyes were locked in, focused on the way the silver complimented you. “Yeah, I’ve had them for ages.”

“Can I touch them?” He wanted to pinch at your nipples and feel the cool metal beside them. Your nod was all he needed to do so. 

His touch was hesitant at first, afraid of damaging the piercing somehow. When he squeezed down harder on them he could feel the bars going through your nipples. It was interesting to him, the modification, he wondered what made you get them in the first place. 

As he pinched and twisted your nipples slightly, a soft whimper snuck out the back of your throat, going straight to his already painfully hard erection. 

If you were sensitive to this he wanted to know what it would do to you if he took them into his mouth. It was in the name of science that he did so, leaning forward and wrapping his mouth around your left nipple. 

The metal met his tongue, cold and sharp, constructing against the warmth of your chest. He was cautious not to use his teeth as he played with your nipple in his mouth. You gave out small moans and gasps, hips stuttering against his own, as you threw your head back. Ever since you had gotten them pierced your nipples were more sensitive than ever. 

Kagayema stared up at you. He wondered how he got so lucky in life. He’d have to go to the shrine on New Year with his mother to thank the gods for letting him have you like this. 

He wanted to make you feel more, to know his touch in ways you never had before. 

His free hand not ding at your waist trailed down your side, tracing the outline, as he dragged it down to your core. When he met your underwear, the fabric a simple micro-fibre, and slipped past it he was certain that he’d need to go to the shrine every holiday. You were wet, drenched even, allowing his fingers to slip through you easily. 

Kageyama was not a virgin, he’d had sex before and he was thorough with it. His thumb met your clot, going over it in slow circles, while his pointer and ring finger started to tease your hole. 

When he was able the press both fingers into you and pump them in and out of you, he released your nipple that he had ever so diligently been sucking on to swap for the other one. He bit down it ever so slightly making a shocked gasp and whimper of his name escape you. 

“Be gentle jackass!” Your speech airy, escaping as an exhale. 

It was cruel the way how you said his name made his dick jerk as if he was going to cum, the muscle in his abdomen flexing tight. He’d be dammed if he came before you though, his teeth grazing over your nipple again, tongue swiping over the bar. 

His fingers picked up in speed, pressing against a spot that made you squeak almost. High-pitched and short. Like you hadn’t expected him to hit it. 

The pressure building kept building as he did so, making you get lightheaded as it went on. He was so close to making you cum. Like an itch, you scratch just next to it, the edge. 

His thumb kept toying with your clit as he kept his pace steady, matching the tempo. You could feel yourself tightening up as he worked your body. The noises in the room turned pornographic as more liquid gushed out of you, lubricating his hand, making it easier for him to thrust his fingers in and out and in again. 

Kageyama detached himself from your chest and moved to kiss along the side of your neck and ear.

“You’re so pretty…” he trailed off before biting your neck and sucking hard to leave a hickey. 

You came with a start, the orgasm rolling through you as he bit down, his name coming out a broken moan. Your muscle winding right before snapping under the pressure, eyes screwing shut. It made your head spin, feeling your heartbeat in your skull and down to your toes. The force of it made you clamp down so hard on Kageyama’s fingers that as he tried to pull them out, he couldn’t. 

A minute passed before he was finally able to slip them out of you as you whined for him to keep them inside. When you finally opened your eyes you were met with Kageyams face being entirely red.

“You okay?”  You propped yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at him. 

He licked his lips before speaking, trying to wet them. “I just came.” 

“Oh.”

Things were still for a second. 

“Is there, uh, anything I can do to help?” 

“No. Just give me a minute.” This was the most embarrassment he had felt in a long time 

“Okay.” You cupped his face with one hand. He turned a kissed your palm “We can stop here if you want.”

He contemplated for a few moments in his head, his boxer briefs now feeling sticky. The sensation was grossing him out no matter how badly he wanted to continue.  

“Tobio,” you flicked his forehead “Get out of your head, you’ve got that scrunched-up look on your face.” 

He grumbled against your palm as he spoke. “I like you and I’m embarrassed.”

“Well, I love you and we can always go for a second round.” 

He stilled, humming under his breath. “Could we shower first?” 

“Of course.” 

───※ ·❆· ※───

Out of the shower, where a second round had happened, along with telling you about the bet, Kageyama felt unsure of what to do next. It reminded him of leaving a court at the end of a game, his adrenaline high and heart pumping. The adjustment to reality was strange and foreign. He was sure this must have been how you felt after a concert ended. Lost, unsure what to do after as he cuddled with you in your bed. 

“What happens next?” 

You laughed and it shook your body as you lay on top of him, tracing patterns on his chest.

“You buy me breakfast in the morning.” 

“And after that?” 

“What about after that?” 

“Well,” you started. “We keep doing what we’ve always done. But when we go out to eat we don’t call it hanging out, we call it a date. When we sleep at the other’s place, we sleep in the same bed. Only the little things change between us, the big things stay the same and we get to kiss now. When an interviewer asks if you’ve got a girlfriend, you get to say yes.” 

“You’re my girlfriend?” 

“Well, I thought that was the point of the confession, well along with winning a bet, unless you don't want me to be?” 

“No, I do.” 

“Good.” 

It was silent for a moment as he intertwined his free hand in your own, bringing it closer to his mouth so he could kiss it. You settled further into him, filling out the space where he was the most empty both physically and metaphorically, humming ‘Like Real People Do’.

A Venmo notification cut through the peace. 

Nicolas Romero sent you ¥10,000 

“Atta boy Tobio” 

©️ uzuzrimisery

[minniesmutt]

⚠︎ ━━━ LUNCH

⚠︎ ━━━ SS + WC: 5 + 0.8K

⚠︎ ━━━ CONTENT: PREGNANCY, FOOD MENTIONS, KIND OF TOXIC EX

     Y/n nervously sat in her car outside the restaurant— nothing super fancy as she had asked thankfully. He had already told her he was inside, she was just trying to calm down, finally gathering herself, grabbing her bag, and walking inside. Telling the host she was meeting someone before they led her to the table. 

     Jeongin had set his phone down on the table as she joined him. “Hey.”

     “Hi,” Y/n offered a smile as she sat down across from him.

     “How are you doing?” He asked 

     “Okay? Kind of nervous honestly.” Y/n grabbed the cup of water in front of her and took a sip. 

     “Let's order then we can talk about it. How does that sound?”

     Y/n agreed and picked up her menu. Scanning over the items for a few minutes before the waiter came over. Both putting in their orders and giving their menu’s to the waiter before they walked off. Sitting in an awkward silence for another minute.

     “I’m not getting rid of the baby.” Y/n finally stated after a moment.

     “I wasn’t going to make you,” Jeongin confirmed, “I know it was a one night stand and we barely know each other but I do want to at the very least co-parent this kid.”

     “I can work with that,” Y/n nodded

     Jeongin nodded, silence taking over the table again, “What do you do for work?” He asked

     “I’m an editor for a online news outlet.”

     “You work with Seungmin, right?”

     “Yeah. We were in a lot of the same classes in college but weren’t friends until after graduation and we ended up at the same company.”

     “Same department?”

     “No. He works more in reporting and journalism. I’ve edited a couple of the stories they’ve let him published.”

     “He hasn’t published a lot?”

     “No, (Astird)’s case was actually the first one they let him take on his own.”

     “They didn’t think he was going to be bias on it?”

     “I don’t think he told his boss she was his roommate. But even when I was editing it, you could barely tell he knew her. He’s very unbiased in reporting which is a good trait to have,” Y/n explained as her phone went off on the table next to her

Jihyun ❌: why aren’t you home?                   I know its your day off

     “Everything okay?” Jeongin asked

     “Yeah, just a friend texting me,” Y/n brushed it off 

     “Do any of your friends know about you being pregnant?”

     “Just my friend Hana, the one who was with me at the club.”

Jihyun ❌: Y/n

     “Do any of your friends know?”     “I may have told all of them?”

     “How many is all?”

     “Five.”

     Y/n nodded

Jihyun ❌: when the hell did you turn your location off?                   answer me

     “Do you need to take that?” Jeongin asked, seeing the constant light up of her phone from the text.

     “No. It’s just me ex. He can deal with it?”

     “When did you guys break up?”

     “Almost a month ago. Hana ended up dragging me to a club to just get my mind off it.”

     “Ah. So I was a rebound fuck,” Jeongin joked and it definetly made her laugh a bit.

     “If you wanna look at it like that,” Y/n said, “I was more so looking to get drunk till I forgot but drunk me also is horny.”

     “Bad break up then?”

     “Yeah. It’s over now though.”

     “Good for you,” Jeongin smiled

     “So, how are we gonna work out appointments and stuff?” Y/n asked, changing the subject

     “I would like to be there for them but if you don’t want me there that’s fine. I also can already tell I might not be able to make it to all of them with work.”

     “You own you’re company, right?”

     “Yeah. There’s certain meetings I can’t get out of.”

     “I can try and schedule them as best I can to avoid that but I can always update you afterwards if it doesn’t work out.”

     “That works out for me.” 

     The waiter came back with their food and they both thanked them before eating. Other small talk continued throughout the meal, some regarding their lives, others regarding the baby. Jeongin paid at the end of the meal, walking out with her.

     “Don’t be afraid the text me if you need anything, okay?” He told her, walking her over to her car

     “I will, thank you,” Y/n said, unlocking her car.

     Jeongin opened the door for her, “I mean anything. Even if it’s a weird pregnancy craving in the middle of the night.”

     The two of them laughed as she set her bag down on the passenger seat. “I will.” Y/n assured him and took her seat.

     Jeongin closed her door and waved her off as he walked to his own car. Y/n took out her phone, wanting to text her friend the good news till she remembered the messages— with new ones.

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UNBELIEVABLE

KATSUKI BAKUGOU X CHUBBY READER

Mentions: Club, Virgin reader, Alcohol, Jealous kats, Fluff

Reblogs are appreciated <3

“ It’s unbelievable. I can’t believe she said yes! Ugh she’s the best” Kirishima said with his heart full of love. “Yeah Yeah Yeah we get it you have a girlfriend. Quit rubbing it in.” Denki replied, rolling his eyes. “ The rest of us are single as fuck.” Sero said. You felt defeated as well. 

You like Katsuki Bakugou. Sure he’s loud, explosive, crazy, has a hard time expressing himself, and is reserved but you like all those and more traits are very cute. You know he has his own little ways of saying thank you, sorry, or that he cares. You like the way he laughs and smiles, which is rare. His cooking is amazing. You love the way he always pushes forward and doesn’t allow anything to stop him. You’re basically head over heels for this man. Little did you know he likes you just as much as you like him. It is so insane how neither of you knows it. The girls tell you and you always say “ You guys don’t make me delusional.” You thought that way because you didn’t consider yourself beautiful. You’re a chubby girl. You hate your stomach fat. You hate the stretch marks. You hate when you sit down, your fat rolls. Katsuki thought otherwise. He loves your stomach rolls, He loves the way your costume shows off your thighs. He thinks your stretch marks are cute. He always says he wants you to squeeze his head in between your thighs. He knows there's so much more to love. He wants and needs you so bad. He is willing to do anything for you to be his girlfriend. He's on his knees at this point.

As time went by you did notice yourself spending more time with him. He threw hints at you. You did miss a few but then connected the pieces later on. 

“ Hey!! Come on dance with us!!!” Mina yelled over the loud music. You took your last 3 shots. “ Finally girl !!!” Momo yelled. You had 2 horrible weeks. You were desperate to have time off and have fun. You were all dolled up. You straighten your hair and put on simple makeup. The dress you wore was a bit short. It hugged you beautifully. The heels made you look even more sexier. Some guys were checking you out. Including Katsuki. You finally let yourself free. You danced like no one was there. Mina and Momo danced with you. A guy dances up behind you. He placed his hands on your waist. You couldn’t give 2 fucks. Katsuki was losing his mind. He was so jealous his small explosions said it all. The guy ran his hands down to your thighs. “When are you going to confess to her!? You’re dying right now! Go claim her!” Izuku said, smacking his head, over the loud music. Usually Katsuki would blow up at him but he was so focused on you. The topic. “ What if I just make her drift away!?” Katsuki asked. “Oh wow. I didn’t know that Katsuki Bakugou was such a loser!” Izuku said, knowing exactly what he was doing. “ Yeah what a pussy!” Kirishima yelled, pushing Katsuki’s button. He went to the dance floor and gave the guy a nasty stare. He was getting way too handsy. You only allowed it because you want experience. You’re a virgin, You never had a boyfriend before, zero dates, you haven’t even had your 1st kiss yet, you just started drinking like a month ago, and this is your 3rd time at a club. You dancing with a guy and a bit sexually is NEW. The man stood his ground against Katsuki. That didn’t stop the explosion boy. He leaned down to your height and kissed you. You gave in and kissed him back. The guy saw how you guys were making out. He left. You knew it was Katsuki you were making out with even though you were drunk. You danced the night away. 4:25am hit. “ Let's get out of here pretty.” Katsuki said. You nodded. When both got to his apartment it got crazy. He pushed you against the wall after he closed the door and locked it. You made out like it was the last time you’d see each other again. “ Mhm fuck.” He said carrying you up stairs. He set you on his bed. You giggled as he took your heels off. He smiled at your drunk self. Now Katsuki knows you're inexperienced. “ Kkaattss!” you yelled. “Yeah I’m here,” he replied. He respectfully was babysitting you as you showered. He stood facing the wall asking if you were good. After drying up and changing into clothes he lent he blew  dry your hair and soon after that you were laying on his bed. Still drunk. He was surprised how you even managed to shower thoroughly. He then took his time to take a nice warm shower. “ Kats!” you laughed like an idiot then suddenly went quiet. Once he was changed he turned the lights off and got into bed. “You good?” he asked, playing with your hair. “ Wish. You- were h-herruu actuchily.”you said slurring your words. You touched his hair gently. He pecked your forehead. 

The following morning you woke up to him holding you. “K-Katsuki?” you questioned. “Yeah?”he replied. “W-what am I doing here?” You lifted the sheets, fully clothed. You sighed in relief. “We didn’t do anything…It’s unbelievable,” he replied. “ What is-are you calling me a slut? That I’m easy or something!?” you said you were upset. “It’s unbelievable that you’ve always been in my heart and in my mind. Now you’re waking up here in my bed. You’re mine.” He replied holding you. You blushed. “ I like you so much, kats.” you confessed. “I like you so much Y/n.” he replied. You both felt complete and happy.

Why don’t we- unbelievable

[subwaysurf45]

Going Out and Coming In

Summary: having you come out to the club was always a treat in Bucky’s eyes, you were never one to party like the rest of them. With all the alcohol and music bumping through your viens it’s hard to keep your hands off of Bucky, and he knows it too. 

Pairing: College!Bucky x College!Reader

Words: 5k

Warnings: SMUT: edgining, denial, oral (m4f), praise kink. Alcohol, drunk reader, the tiniest amount of peer pressure, fluff anf fun!

Masterlist

You: Hey just got out of class, want me to grab a coffee for you? 

Bucky: E-Transfer: $10

Bucky: Sure, just that coffee you got me last time, forget the name of it but it was really good!

You: are we going to pass over the E-Transfer like it didn’t happen?

Bucky: Yes

Bucky: No questions. Just coffee. 

After reading the texts you just stood in line with the feeling of a blush creeping on your face, you accepted the money and had it ready when you walked up to the cash. It was a nice coffee shop you went to all the time and had recently introduced to your no-label-but-you’re-very-exclusive-friend-who-is-also-a-boy. He wanted to meet you between classes for an hour so you sent him the address, he was there when you showed up and kept looking around the small coffee shop, a smile staying on his face. That felt like forever ago, now you went on a coffee run whenever you were heading over to his place after classes. 

“Hi, can I get two vanilla lattes?” you asked and the barista nodded. You paid and waited off to the side, sending a text to Bucky to let him know you were coming over soon. 

He sent a winky face as a response, you cleared it away and saw your lock screen. Bucky asked if you wanted to see his family after a while of hanging out, it was around eight months into the labelless relationship and his mom was asking about who he posted on his Instagram. You went with him back home and met everyone, one night the entire family went out for dinner. His mom had taken out her phone and asked you two to pose, Bucky wrapped his arm around your shoulders, you leaned into his hold and placed a hand on his chest for support. When the countdown hit one Bucky leaned over and kissed your cheek, leaving the photo to capture your surprised face. He had kept that as his lock screen forever, even now after two and half years. 

Both drinks were ready, you walked off of campus and to the apartment buildings that you both lived in. you didn’t live together but you both lived in the same building but on different floors, it was really nice to be able to walk up a few staircases to give him a goodnight kiss. Speaking of stairs, when you reached level eight- the elevator was broken -you were basically sweating. 

With your foot you kicked the door, Bucky opened it with a smile on his face. He could tell you were out of breath from walking up all those stairs but chose not to comment on it, he just giggled to himself and let you walk all the way in. 

“Hey, Baby,” he hugged you once the coffees were put down, “thanks for the coffee.” 

“It was your money,” you laughed in his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around you. 

“Whatever,” he whispered. After taking a few sips he followed you into his room, Sam and Steve were both at class but they’d be back in time to hit the club. “Do you need to study?” He asked over his shoulder as he fell back onto his bed, you nodded and assumed a spot as his desk. 

Early on in your relationship you had been open about your small issue with being too attached to your grades, Bucky thought nothing of it until exam season rolled around and you were up very late studying every day. You had lied once and said you were heading home, Bucky trusted his gut and went to the library to find you curled up in a blanket, looking like you were going to stay there for a long time. 

Even when you two would hang out between classes you’d still get your studying in somehow, Bucky had to learn to accept it or else you wouldn’t be present because you’d be thinking of everything you were missing out on. 

When everything you needed to get done was done you crawled onto his navy sheets and curled on his chest, Bucky wrapped his arms around you and held you close. He had noticed you had been down the past few days, there were assignments getting in the way of your relationship and you tried your best to balance but it was hard, all you ever knew was focus on your school and nothing else. 

“I think tonight is going to be good for you,” Bucky whispered as he planted a kiss on your head, “seeing your friends, getting a few drinks in you, being outside of your dorm and all that,” Bucky rubbed your back, “the guys miss you, Nat misses you a lot.”

“I know,” you sighed. 

“And that’s not to make you feel guilty,” he reached over and drank his coffee, “it’s to remind you that you’ve got people in your corner who love you and care about you more than your grades, alright?” 

“Alright,” you looked up at him and kissed his jaw line, his lips were too far away. 

Getting ready together was alway something you looked forward to, you would hog the bathroom while you did your makeup and Bucky would have to lean over you to add the product to his hair. The music would be playing from the speaker and the both of you would dance around one another. 

Your dress was black, one you had worn before. You had added a bit of volume to your hair and did a little more than your normal makeup routine. Bucky was sitting on the couch, scrolling on his phone while you did the final touches. You sprayed your setting spray that you were convinced was just water and tapped a little more lip gloss on your lips. 

“I’m ready!” you sang, walked out into the main room. You thought Bucky was just going to be there but Sam and Steve were there as well, pregaming. “Oh,” you laughed, “I didn’t hear you guys come in.” 

“We’re spies,” Natasha came from behind you and hugged you, making you turn around and hug her properly. With a smile you squeezed her tightly, you hadn’t seen her in a while and it was so nice to hug her.

“The uber is going to be here in five,” Sam said as he poured another shot, “want one?” he tipped the top of the bottle towards you. 

“Sure,” you nodded, looking over to see Bucky walk over. 

Alcohol was always weird for you, it’s not that you were a complete lightweight but compared to Bucky you were. Weed on the other hand sat better with your system but you couldn’t smoke in the club, you were also out of gummies. If you were at a house party that was way more casual you’d break out a joint or find someone with a bowl you could use, but clubs were much different. 

Natasha set up her camera, it was a tradition to record the first group shot. You stood beside Bucky as his hand reached around to hold your waist, immediately feeling warm. Everyone counted down and took back the shot, it burned for a second before swallowing. You never understood why people try to keep from making a face, everyone knew vodka tasted awful and you let it show. 

Everyone laughed and you hid your face in Bucky’s chest, trying not to completely embarrass yourself in front of Natasha’s story due to your pure disgust towards the taste. Bucky laughed and rubbed your back, “how’re you feeling?” he giggled in your ear and laughed as you looked up at him, “the first one is the hardest.” 

“I know,” you sighed, “I just want my drink and not shots.”

“It’s a shots night, baby!” Natasha cheered and headed to the door, the car was here. 

The drive was quick, you could walk but it was too cold for the dresses you and Natasha were wearing. You had been to this club before many times, it’s not like you had never been to a single party before but for every three times Bucky goes out, you go out once. You definitely were a homebody. 

You could hear the club before you were inside, the base making the neon lights flicker from how old they were. You were there at the perfect time, allowing you to get in free. Once you had squeezed through the door you quickly turned around and grabbed Bucky’s hand, holding it tightly as you moved through the dancefloor to try and find a spot to hunker down for the night. 

It was loud and people were already sweating alcohol, there was no care that there was a group trying to squeeze through, people were throwing their arms around and trying to make a mosh pit which was something you would never take part in - no matter how drunk you were. 

Once you found an area you all squished in the booth, Steve didn’t sit down and took everyone’s drink order. You needed to get tipsy before getting on the floor and that shot was starting to buzz, you were sitting on Bucky’s thigh as you looked around to see everyone dancing. 

Sam went out and found his date, you hadn’t seen her before but then again, most of Sam’s dates are like single use plastic to him. She was tall with extremely tanned skin, when she waved you knew right away it was fake tan, she hadn’t rubbed it in properly on her hands. 

Wanting to tell Bucky you looked over your shoulder to find him already looking at you, letting his chin rest on your shoulder blade. He smiled at you and kissed your cheek, “I’m serious if you get too overwhelmed, you have to tell me.” 

You looked around to see no one was paying attention to you two, “I know but I don’t want to be babied, I don’t want you asking every five seconds or I'll just get annoyed, okay?” Bucky nodded quickly, silently saying duh. “You know my tell-tale signs.” 

“I do,” he kissed your cheek again, “and I’ll only get overprotective if I see a guy look below your waist or if you squeeze my hand three times.” He nodded with you before turning back to Steve and taking his drink, you took yours as well and began to drink right away. 

“So, Sammy,” you cleared your throat, “how many times have you taken in the fact that you two share the same name?” you asked the girl who sat beside Sam. 

“My name is actually Samantha,” she laughed, “but I’ve definitely thought about it.” Everyone laughed, “no one really calls me that, only Sammy.” 

“I’ll make sure to call you that then,” you smiled and held out your drink, clinking the plastic with hers. 

Everyone took their turn going to get drinks before you all migrated to the dance floor, dancing around and singing to the popular songs. The great thing about going out with everyone was how they got along on the dance floor, there was no shoving or grabbing, just making eye contact with someone and doing the same stupid dance move until you both doubled over in laughter. 

You, Natasha, and Sammy created your own group and found your way to the bar, drunkenly ordering and doing shots to Nat’s request. She recorded some but kept ordering them, Sammy had no issue throwing them back. They laughed when you pucker your lips to try and fight the burn, the chaser did nothing at all. 

“Let’s head back!” Natasha yelled over the music, you had felt pretty good up until then. The moment you pushed off the bar and began to walk the shots hit you like a wave, you stumbled for a moment and grabbed Natasha’s elbow and followed her back. 

Through the sea of people you saw Bucky laughing with his friends, holding his beer and jumping around. The lights and the thin layer of sweat made him look amazing, his smile flashed as the strobe lights passed his face. You could feel his charm from across the floor, it was why you fell in love with him. The closer you got the harder you bit your lip, feeling your need to be near him grow stronger. 

Who knew what alcohol made you feel like this but from the way he was looking, you could pull him to a bathroom stall right now and get down on both knees without question, there was something about him in that particular moment that made you swoon. 

The boys were still dancing, you quickly found Bucky and took hold of both his wrists. His eyes searched your face but before he could ask if you were okay you leaned up and kissed him. When you pulled away you kept his bottom lip wedged between your teeth, he jolted back with an ‘ow’ and reached up to touch his lip, a bit of blood was on his finger. 

You giggled and wrapped yourself around his neck, tucking your face in his sweet spot and licking a stripe before starting to suck, his large hands gripped your waist before pushing you back slightly. 

“What did you drink up there?” he said with a smirk, you could tell he was loving this. 

“A fucking love potion I guess,” you said out of breath, “because I could literally mount you right now back at the booth and fuck your brains out,” you went back to his neck and left another start of a bruise 

When you pulled back Bucky was looking up at the ceiling, everyone else had no idea what was going on and just thought you were being clingy. His nostrils were flared as he tried to calm himself, you were giggling and fiddling with his shirt collar. 

“I should get drunk more often because I’m fucking loving it and I’m loving the moment right now,” you laughed and Bucky kissed your forehead.

“I’m glad you’re having a good time,” he laughed and pulled you in for a hug, “but you being this horny is going to be the death of me, you know I can’t control myself, baby,” he whispered in your ear, feeling his hot breath rush down your neck your grip his biceps harder, nails digging into his skin. 

Suddenly you were deep in the dance floor, jumping around and singing to the songs as loud as you could. Most of the time you and Bucky were in your own world, touching each other all the time as you danced. But other times a circle was formed and you all watched one another dance, holding hands and blending in with the other groups. The drinks were starting to wear off from all the physical activity so you all headed to the bar again, shooting back a few more shots even though deep down you wanted to sip a drink but that wasn’t practical for what you were doing on the floor. 

“One more!” They cheered towards the bartender. 

“One less for me!” you called out and he nodded, pouring everyone a shot except for you. 

“Come on, y/n!” Nat laughed, “it’s only one more, I wanted to take a video this time.” 

“Let me record it,” you held your hand out but quickly finding Bucky’s forearm for balance, the sudden movements after the shots made you realize just how many you actually had, again. In another world you could take another, but right now you were fully at your limit and honestly a little above it. 

“No!” Sammy chimed in now, “one last group shot.” 

“No guys,” you shook your head and immediately placed your other hand on Bucky’s forearm, your heels were not helping with your lack of balance. They attempted to cheer you until you squeezed Bucky’s hand three times. 

“She said no, alright?” it was almost like he hadn’t drank all night, but he definitely did. “So she’ll record and we all drink,” he looked down at you and kissed your forehead for what seemed like the millionth time tonight. 

You held the phone out as they all shot one back, after swallowing first Bucky reached out and took the phone, flipping it around so you could wave as well. With the amount of drinks flowing in everyone’s system they all forgot about what just happened and headed back in, Bucky waited for a moment before turning to you. 

His eyes were hooded and it was cute to see him fight towards sobriety in case you needed him, “can I ask if you’re okay?” he smiled and leaded forward and wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“I’m okay, thank you for that,” you kissed his cheek and took his hand as he helped you walk back towards the group. 

Midnight had come and gone but the party kept moving, it seemed to only get more packed as the time went on. You had drank some water a while ago and was in a perfect spot while everyone else got more and more drunk. Bucky was the second to switch to water, he was gone but had enough in him to string a sentence together. 

“I could not operate a motorized vehicle right now,” Sam said to you at one point, completely unprompted. You laughed and nodded along, looking at Bucky as he laughed too. 

The songs got progressively more sexual as well, there was nothing better than looking at the girls when a song came on and you all screamed, feeling extremely confident as you screamed the words in front of the boys who were dumbfounded. 

One came on where you immediately looked at Bucky and finger wagged him closer, feeling how you felt at the beginning of the night when the lights looked so perfect on him. The attraction was coming back and it didn’t help that this was your favourite club song. He knew what was coming as he came closer to you, roughly grabbing at your hips and feeling around. Everyone else screamed, never seeing this side of you that often. 

Bucky flipped you around so you were facing the group, letting his hands wander to your front and rest low on your stomach. Your head leaned back against his shoulder and one hand moved up to touch his neck, your ass was pressed against his hips. His face showed no signs of embarrassment for being hard. 

You sang the song to his ear, looking up at him. Natasha started recording but Bucky quickly swatted the phone away, not wanting it to be recorded for your sake but also because he wanted to be in the moment. 

When it ended you kissed him and bit his bottom lip again, hearing him groan as he squeezed your ass again because you turned around to kiss him properly. Again, due to the alcohol the group forgot it happened quickly as they moved on to the next thing that caught their attention. 

Bucky leaned down to your ear again, “baby,” he was close to a moan, “you’re so fuck sexy, like, you have no idea what you do to me- drinks or not.” the two of you made out for a while, not caring who was looking at you both. Your hands tugged at his hair and his hands went almost everywhere, if you weren’t tired when you got home you knew you were getting a great night of sex. 

Soon enough the lights flicked on and the music died down, you all managed to get out of the club but had to walk home. Bucky had two water bottles in his hand as he caught up to you all later, claiming it was all they had left. 

Everyone was in the same boat, extremely drunk and walking home. Your hand was held tightly with Bucky’s, “you know…” you giggled and looked up at him, “my apartment is closer, you don’t need to climb all those flights of stairs. 

“Sounds good to me,” he was thinking you were just inviting him over, actually thinking the only reason you wanted him over was because it was three staircases closer. 

“And…” you took a long sip of water, “my roommate is out of town so…we can be loud, y’know?” 

His pupils expanded faster than ever before, “oh?” he muttered and rubbed his nose against your ear, “you know, you’ve been a big tease all night, I don’t know if you’re all bark and no bite.” 

You shifted and walked backwards, “from what I remember I bit you a lot,” your bottom lip was wedged between your teeth, knowing you were just riling him up. 

The moment you turned into your apartment complex Bucky turned to the group, “I’m going to y/n’s apartment,” he announced and the group began to laugh, “just let me know if you can hear us from three levels up.” 

“Bucky!” you slapped his chest but before you could say anything Bucky turned out of the stairwell and onto your floor, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. “You need my keys,” you laughed as he fished them out of his pocket because you didn’t want to bring a purse. 

When your back hit the mattress he was quick to crawl over you, putting all his weight on you as he slotted himself between your legs, making your dress ride up. His lips were quick to move away from your lips and down to your neck, sucking a biting all around. You two had been together long enough to know where each other’s spots were and what you both liked, Bucky could always get you going right above your collarbone and used it to his advantage. 

Your back arched as he lifted the dress up and over your head, going back in between your breasts and shaking his head around, making you laugh and play with his air. Your bra was off next and Bucky was still fully dressed, the stark difference in modesty made you want to cover up but Bucky’s hand pinning your wrists back with force couldn’t let you do that. 

Bucky kissed all the way down before hooking his fingers and pulling down your underwear, kissing back up your knees and thighs to keep you waiting. When it came to Bucky eating you out it was all about teasing, he knew how to make cum in ten seconds if he hit the spots you liked, but he wanted to make a game out of it; he always did. 

He kissed, licked, sucked, bit, everything, he did everything to your pussy. Your hands would move from playing with your nipples to add extra stimulation to gripping his hair, your entire body was restless until his arms hooked around your hips and his hands clasped on your stomach to keep you from moving. 

Even after many years, “a little to your left,” you were still helping each other out, “holy fuck, yes Bucky,” you sighed, “right there, fuck, right there please don’t stop, please,” you begged and begged even when he slowed down and pulled away for a moment, causing you to groaned and looked down at him. 

When you were done whining he went back in, “you like when I tease you?” 

“I never have,” you laughed as he bumped his nose against your clit.

“I know,” he giggled and went back in, lapping his tongue against your clit and then wrapping his lips around to suck gently, your moans became louder and more frequent so he backed off again. You were so frustrated you tugged his hair hard, “ow!” he laughed as he looked up at you, “that actually hurt.” 

“Please, Bucky, please,” you gripped your breasts harshly, “I’m fucking beginning you, I feel so good right now, baby, so fucking good, just make me come,” you looked down to see a smirk on his face, “you have no- oh yes!” you dropped your head back against the pillow and closed your eyes, your mouth falling open instantly. 

Bucky got into it as well, making out with your pussy and moaning to himself. He got pleasure out of getting you there, especially when you begged for it. 

“There you go, pretty, fall apart,” he kept you so close for so long, “I know you want to let it out, you deserve it,” his voice sent vibrations up your spine and to your head which make it fuzzy, “pretty girl just needs to be worshiped, huh?” his hands broke out from the clasp and two fingers found your entrance so he could talk, “who’s my pretty girl?” 

“Me,” you said in a heartbeat.

“Yeah you are,” he pushed in and out, making you grip his finger as tight as possible, “who’s my smart girl?” 

“Me,” it was more strained, you were so close but he was holding back just enough to keep you right on the tipping point. 

“Who deserves the world, huh?” he sucked your inner thigh to leave a mark he’d definitely looked back at later. “Don’t quit on me know, pretty, who deserved everything, my smart girl, my pretty girl?” 

“B-Bucky-!” you wanted to tell him you were so unbelievably close, your pussy gripping him as tight as possible, you could barely form a sentence let alone answer his question. 

“No no no,” he laughed and gently placed one kiss on your clit, making you convulse as his finger kept working you there, “it’s not me, baby, who is it?” 

The pressure was almost unbelievable, tears formed in your eyes from how long you had been edged and denied. You could feel the pulse begin and your stomach clench, the coil was about to snap. “M-me, holy fuck, yes!” you screamed. 

“And who deserves to come?” he asked but before you could answer his lips attached to your clit for the final time and made you see white, you let out the most pornographic moan you had ever heard, it almost didn’t sound like you. You could barely hear it from how loud you were screaming Bucky’s name but you heard him groan as you came, making your orgasm that much more intense. 

Bucky kept going to bring you down from your high, he slowed down as your entire body convulsed. Your moans were short as you tried to push his head away but at the same time you wanted to stay in your euphoric state forever. His kisses slowed until he planned the final one before gently working his way up your body and back to your lips, your eyes were closed and tears from overstimulation fell back to your pillow. 

Bucky gently held you tight as you continued to let out the shocks, wrapping your arms around him as he whispered more praises into your ear. 

“Bucky,” you sighed, “I need a bit before we keep going,” you wiped your forehead with the back of your wrist, “I can’t feel my legs.” 

“All good baby,” he kissed your cheek, “we don’t need to do anymore,” he laughed, “you made me cum,” he whispered and kissed your earlobe. 

“What?” you whispered, you couldn’t tell if he was still hard because he was still fully clothed; his socks were still on. 

“I told you getting you off gets me off, baby,” he was out of breath, “that was crazy, you- wow,” he sighed and kissed you again, you could taste yourself on his lips but that didn’t stop you from slipping your tongue into his mouth. 

“I didn’t know I had that power,” you tugged on the bottom of his shirt so he could get undressed, once he was down to his boxers he quickly left to get a rag. 

“The power you have over me…” Bucky shook his head to himself as he smiled, gently wiping between your legs and your tights, “...you have no fucking idea,” he looked over at you with a wide smile. 

You were blissed out, both arms thrown over your head and your eyes were closed. The alcohol, fresh orgasm, and the love from Bucky made you feel like the only girl in the world. You were so content in the moment you didn’t want to leave it. 

Once Bucky got in bed he pulled you close, tangling every limb with you and letting you rest your head on his chest. He played with your hair for a while, twisting one strand around his finger as you listened to his heart beat. 

“Did you have a fun night?” He asked gently, checking to see if you were awake. 

All you could do was nod and let out a happy sound, “I hate shots.” 

Bucky tried to conceal his laugh to keep you on the road to sleep, holding you tighter, “you’re adorable,” he whispered, “but I’m glad you had a good night, I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” 

You hummed and curled further into him, letting the warmth swiftly put you to sleep. You could still feel him rub your back or play with your hair, sending tingles down your entire body. The hangover in the morning was going to be one hell of a headache but in this moment you were happy right where you were. 

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If you would like to be added please send as ask, I won’t reply but just know I’ll see it and that’s the only way!

[bloodyjuls-blog]

I was so stupid

Leah Williamson X Reader

⚠️ Warning ⚠️: part 2 of goodbye my lover. If you read it you know what I mean in case of not it's just pure angst. This seems to be the light at the end of the tunnel

Lucy POV

I woke up at 5 in the morning because I had to go to training at 8, I looked at my phone and realized that y/n had called me 3 times. I was quite worried because I was the only person (Ona too, but not at the same level of intensity) who had been with her in those difficult moments such as a divorce and the separation from her son. Little Sage who is such a sweetheart and Y/n too and now because of Leah's stubbornness they’re not together makes me quite angry.

I decide to call y/n back but she sends me to inbox, so weird. Yesterday I spoke to her and she told me that she was going through a bad time and that the pains in her chest had returned. Knowing that I am in Barcelona and she is in London makes me even more nervous because she could suffer a cardiac arrest and not have anyone to help her with it and now even less cause Leah apparently turned everyone against her. I don't understand.

Leah POV

*Beep beep beep*¨

Who in their right mind calls at 5 am on a Friday. “Hello” I said in a rather sleepy tone. Sage hadn't slept well, I felt him agitated. He always sleeps peacefully. “Hi Leah, I'm Lucy,” she tells me in a worried tone. “What's wrong Lucy? looks at the hours” I said calmly. “It's Y/N, I'm worried because she's been calling me in the early morning and I want to know how yesterday's conversation with her went?” she says worriedly. “Well, the talk has gone well, a bit of a farewell tone, but very normal. She also called me this morning too, although she seemed like drunk or drugged, her voice sounded very weird,” she says in a stern voice. “No Leah, how can you think that, she is doing those things that are on TV or in the gossip magazines. She is like this because the divorce and now you have left her without a job. Are you stupid or what?” Lucy says super angry. “Oi, calm down or I'll hang up on you, these are not the hours to argue, girl” I say calmly. “Leah, for God's sake, y/n could have suffered a cardiac arrest and you didn't even realize it, did your new girlfriend whitewash everything you felt for y/n? Have you realized how bad she has had it since she was kicked out of the club because of you and since it wasn't enough for you, you kicked her out of the house without even being able to take a jacket and her wallet, having to listen to her at 3 in the morning heartbroken because she doesn't know what she was going to do without you, you know that she has been living in a seedy hotel for 3 months since you kicked her out of the house? The sad nights when she misses her baby?…" Lucy says very seriously. "I'm sorry Lucy, I didn't know anything about that, I've been very selfish, but it all came down to me anyway, the absence, the times she ignored my presence and focused only on Sage, I've also missed her a lot, Lucy". I say in a worried tone. “Leah, I need you to go to The White Heart Hotel, which is 8 minutes from your house, ask the front desk for room 203 and make sure y/n is okay. Please". She says in a tone that I can't understand. "Okay, I’ll go now I’ll text you later" I say, worried but willing to collaborate.

"God y/n, I hope you're okay, damn it, why I didn’t pay you more attention, if something happens to you, I won't forgive myself" I say to myself.

Once I arrive at the hotel, which looks very seedy.

“Hello,” I ask at the reception, a little agitated. "Hello Miss. How can we help you,” the girl tells me without flinching. “Mmm yes, I'm coming to visit my friend y/n who is staying in room 203” I say nervously. “Miss Leah, I'm afraid that the guest Y/n was taken away by the ambulance a couple of hours ago, due to some cardiac incident, the poor girl was so young and had no one to help her at that time if not for the waiter who heard some noises, it's most likely that right now that girl was dead," the girl says sadly. "Excuse me? But she was fine yesterday when I saw her.” “Miss, I recommend you to go to the hospital where the ambulance took you and ask the corresponding questions there,” she says calmly. “Yes, of course, thank you very much anyway,” I say with a little emotion. “My poor y/n, how is this possible?” I sit in the car and tears come out of my eyes, I feel like the guiltiest person in the world. Instead of listening to her and being with her, the first thing I did is abandon her to her fate and if that's not enough, mess with someone who no matter how good person she is, is not y/n. The mother of my son, the love of my life. How stupid I am for God's sake.

Once at the entrance to the emergency room.

I get out of the car and look in the trunk for a facemask. “Damn, I had a box stored here” I say to myself, exasperated as I search through everything. “Here you are” I say, taking the mask under a pile of documents.

At reception

“Good morning miss, can I help you with something?” The nurse at the reception tells me. “Hey, a couple of hours ago an ambulance brought y/n Y/l/n here and I came to ask how she is” I say nervously. “Are you related to her?” she asks me, looking directly at the computer. “I'm her wife, Leah” I say, already stressed from so many questions. “I understand, at this moment, y/n is undergoing surgery due to a heart failure, if you wish you can wait in the coronary surgery waiting room on the 3rd floor and once the operation is finished a doctor will speak with you directly” she tells me. “Damn, well thanks, in the third one did you say?” I say worried. "Yeah".

It's been three hours since I've been here and the only thing that has changed is that a cardiologist has come to tell me that they are having complications with Y/N, and that her prognosis is reserved, that we have to wait and see how the surgery progresses.

Flashback

“Family of y/n y/l/n” a doctor comes out with a worried look. "Me, doctor, I am her wife, Leah Williamson" I say in a broken tone. “Well, Mrs. Leah, I will be very honest with you, at this moment we are performing a pericardiocentesis on Mrs. Y/n because after the cardiorespiratory arrest she suffered in the early hours of the morning we realized that she had cardiac clog, we have done this procedure several times because the patient keeps coming to a standstill and doesn´t come back. I would like you to notify her other relatives just in case. It should be said that the prognosis is reserved and her evolution will determine if the heart does not clog again, for now I will do everything in my power so that the lady does not die,” he says seriously. While he says that I try to process everything. There are possibilities that my love won’t make it and die, I must tell Lucia.

“Lucy, y/n she is dying, she has suffered several cardiac arrests since this morning and is in surgery she’s not recovering” I say between tears and sadness on the call. “Leah, don't be pessimistic. Ona and I will take the first flight there is to London, we will be with you” she says crying. I'm glad Lucy cares about y/n, they're like sisters from another mother. I settle into the chair and send a WhatsApp to Sophie.

To Sophie

Hey how are you? Sophie, did you leave Sage with my mother?

*Yes, as you told me. All good? *

No, something has happened, but first I must tell you that I can't take this anymore, you are a wonderful girl but I am not in the best place mentally. Sorry Sophie, it's better to leave things here.

*What a coward you are Leah, not telling me in person. Ok, I hope I never see you again*

A few hours later Dr. Flynn himself comes out.

“Leah, y/n she is out of surgery, her prognosis is still guarded but we believe she will make a successful recovery. What worried us most was that being so young and out of nowhere having these moments of trauma and even more so knowing that she has a healthy and fit life” he says less worried. “What exactly does she have? Will she be able to continue playing football? What will the recovery be like?” I said a mile an hour. “Miss, slow down please. Miss y/n will be in the coronary ICU for a while due to the sedation we gave her. What we watched in the echocardiogram, in the blood tests and the chest x-ray is an irregularity in her pericardium hence the surgery, but them also show cardiac arrhythmias which means that she won’t be able to practice any high impact sport, as Upon her recovery, her evolution will be marked by how her heart accepts the changes. Most likely, she will always have to carry oxygen and in the future we can consider the use of a pacemaker to help detect any irregularity. “I understand, can I see it?” I say a little more relaxed. “Of course, come with me here…”

To be continued

[ellieslittlewh0re]

Stripped - modern!ellie x stripper!reader

wk- 8k-ish (it’s worth it)

additional tags: loser!ellie, reader is slightly described (pale, red/light brown hair, literally picture Lana in tropico bc that’s what I used for reference, oral reader! receiving, fingering reader! receiving, gross ass m*en, mutual pinning, implied homophobia (nothing crazy), childhood friends to lovers??, drug! mention, alcohol! mention,college! ellie mentioned, fluff n smut <3

"Ugh- He's is such a fucking creep."

I mouth frustrations under my breath, taking a seat at the vanity in the back room of the club. I pull crinkled wads of money out of the strap of my thong, smoothing the bills as I counted.

"Who is?" A familiar voice asked me with genuine concern. Camilla, also known as Coco by the customers, was a veteran dancer, a motherly type that all the girls that worked here went to for advice.

"Grabby Gary."

She winced at the mention of his name and shook  her head.

"I don't know why they keep letting him in here. He's a fuckin' perv."

I nod in agreement, taking a deep breath before looking in the mirror. My eyes were red, and my body ached from the early hours of the morning. I applied for this job not because I wanted to, but because I figured it would be a good way to make money fast. My mother, being an alcoholic and her deadbeat boyfriend was a violent drunk.

"You got any plans this weekend, baby?"

I felt a boost of energy at her mention, perking my head up with a smile on my face.

"My best friend is coming tomorrow. She left for college a few months ago and I haven't seen her since. We talk everyday, but it's jus' not the same."

I lower my head, pain in my voice as I remember how fucking empty my life felt when she left me behind. I never told my friend this, not wanting to make her feel bad.. I was happy for her. She was smart and passionate, I mean, who was I to get in the way of her education?

"Does she know you dance?"

I suck air behind my teeth, scrunching up my face.

"...no."

I didn't want her to worry about me and I definitely didn't need her shit for it, but it still worried me.

"You work tomorrow, right? Bring her by, and we can feed her free drinks. It will be fine, now get your ass home and get some sleep. You did good today." Coco reassured me, patting the back of my shoulder before going back out to the stage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stir in my bed, the afternoon sun flooding my room, making it unbelievably warm due to the Texas summer heat. I fumble with the sheets, kicking them off my sticky skin. I skim my hand along the bed searching for my phone, peeking at the screen through tired eyes.

12:32 p.m.

I mentally groan before squinting at the missed text's notifications, rubbing my eyes to focus my blurry vision.

Ellie<3: Hey- I'm leaving now I'll be there around 1 Delivered 9:56 a.m.

"Shit."

I throw my body forward, scrambling to the bathroom and turning on the shower.

I search my drawers, pulling out whatever is clean. I trip over my feet as I tug on a pair of denim shorts when the vibration of my phone alerted me.

Ellie<3: I'm pulling in now

My heart started to race, excited, but also incredibly nervous. I quickly finish dressing my self, half-running half-speed walking to the front door.

"Okay-" I take a shaky breath, composing myself before turning the door handle.

"Took you long enough." Ellie said sarcastically, flashing me a smile. I could have cried right then, not realizing how much I've missed seeing her face that I lunged at her, wrapping my arms around her in an embrace.

"Damn- you missed me that much?" Ellie laughed, patting my back hesitantly.

I rest my head in the crook of her neck, breathing in her woodsy scent. I felt immediate comfort wash over me, a sense of safety and nostalgia.

I quickly pull back, realizing I definitely held the hug longer than we both anticipated.

I clear my throat, adverting her eyes.

"Uh- how was the drive?"

I encourage her inside and shut the door behind her.

"S' Fine. Nothing note-worthy-" she pauses in the hallway, glancing down at the battered couch.

"He's still here?"

She points to the man sleeping on the couch, stained white tank that was pushed up to his chest, exposing a bloated stomach.

I ignore the obvious disapproval in her voice, grabbing her wrist as I pulled her through the house to my room.

"How's your classes? Do you like them?" I ask her as I shut the door, making sure to lock it.

Dale, my mom's boyfriend was a real prick. Ellie and him have had their fair share of issues. One ending with Ellie punching him in the jaw after he called her a slur.

"Uh- yeah, yeah. They're good. Except for this one class- the teacher is a dick, but other than that, it's good."

She slid her backpack off her shoulder, tossing it to the floor before taking a seat on my bed.

I sit next to her, now feeling suddenly a lot more anxious in the quietness of my room.

"How are things here?" She lowers her head to me, concern raising in her voice.

"Oh- uh.. you know." I fake a laugh, looking down to my hands.

Ellie remained silent for a second, probably catching on that things here where in fact, not great.

"What's up with those?" She grabbed my hand, turning it over and observing the obnoxious set of acrylic nails.

I let out a more genuine laugh, her bewilderment written all over her face as she traced the edges of the nails.

"It's fr' my job. It's kinda a big thing there."

Her eyes break from my hands and look to my face.

"Waitressing requires talons?" Her eyebrows go up, child-like confusion on her features like if you tell a kid anything, they'd believe you.

"No! Oh my god- I quit the restaurant after you left."

She paused and leaned back, waiting for an explanation. I bit my lip before taking a deep breath, pausing before opening my mouth.

"I work at a club.. like a night club kinda place."

I held my breath as I examined her face, her eyes darting between mine.

"Doing what?"

Ellie's eyes narrowed, her mouth tightening into a straight line.

"It's not a big deal. I actually have a shift tonight and was hoping you'd come. You can drink for free."

My voice strained, desperate to get her on board for the sake of me needing her to understand my position.

Ellie nostrils flared through rapid breaths, stone facing me before looking away.

"So you're a stripper?" Ellie sighed deeply as she rubbed between her eyebrows.

"... yeah." 

Ellie leans forward, elbows resting on her knees, looking around the room before taking a deep breath.

"A stripper? You're barely 19!"

Her voice grows louder out of anger, clearly not approving of my choices.

"I know, I know... but I need to move out. I can't stand living here, Ellie! After you left shit just got more fucked." 

I flail my hands before tucking them back into my lap. I needed her to understand. I needed her to realize how desperate I was and that I didn't take this job just for the experience.

Ellie remind silent for a minute, taking in my explanation.

"I'm sorry- it's just.. I hate the idea of you dancing around naked."

"It's not like that... I mean I'm not completely naked."

I laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood. Ellie cracked a smile, but it didn't seem sincere.

"Will you come tonight? It would help knowing you were there." I ask her, dipping my head down.

Ellie pauses before answering, mentally analyzing how it would play out.

"Yeah I'll go.. but only to beat guys up if they look at you for too long." She said smugly, nudging her shoulder into mine.

"That's literally what I got hired for."

I roll my eyes, trying to down play the heat rising in my cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I see you still drive that sad excuse for a car."

My eyes remained glued to the screen, taunting Ellie as we played an out-dated version of call of duty zombies on my PlayStation, killing time before I have to get ready.

"It's not sad! It's a Mustang." Her voice pitched, defending her prized possession.

"Yeah... a 2005 Mustang that almost killed you and drained your bank account." I roll my eyes, spamming buttons on the controller.

Amongst our bickering, we lose our concentration causing a horde of zombies to down us both.

The colors on the tv screen loses saturation and text on the screen read: game over you survived 12 rounds

"Aw man. This is totally your fault."

I open my mouth to argue Ellies claim when the door handle rattles, and aggressive banging followed.

"Why the hell is your door lock?! Who's in there with you?" A loud male voice creeped through the  hinges.

I stood up and walk towards the door, turning back to give Ellie a look of "please be cool" before slowly opening the door.

"The hell is all that noise fr?" Dale grumbled, looking rougher than usual. His eyes look behind me into my room, eyes going wide as he saw Ellie, who gave him a wave and a shit eating smile which definitely did not help the situation.

"What the fuck is she doin' here?"

I take a deep breath, putting myself in front of him to crate a barrier in case shit goes south.

"She's jus' staying for the weekend, okay? That's it."

His eyes bulged out of his head, veins becoming more prominent against his now red face.

"Bull fuckin' shit she is! This is MY house."

Dale yells, pouting a finger in no particular direction.

"The only thing you own is a spot on the sex offender registry." Ellie rebuttals. I'd admit it's a good burn, but holy fuck, this was the opposite of being chill.

"The fuck did she jus' say t' me?!"

Dale pushes himself past the door, shoving me out of the way as he v-lined for Ellie.

I grab Dale by the arm, using my body weight to hold him from getting closer to Ellie, who didn't seem affected, if anything, she looked amused.

"Dale- Dale please calm down... she didn't mean it, okay? Just please stop." I spoke calmly to him like I've done so many times in the past when he got this way.

Dale silenced his yelling, looking to me as he breathed heavily, blood shot eyes and a slight twitch in his eyebrow.

I put on a brave face, having done this repeatedly over the last 3 years that he and my mom have been dating.

"She will be gone tomorrow, okay? I'm sorry I should've told you... I can talk to Chris at the club and see what he has, okay?" I spoke sweetly to him even though it made me feel physically sick.

He didn't respond, eyes darting between me and Ellie, then back to be before he stomped out of the room.

"The hell did you say that for?" I huffed, rubbing my eye, and walked over to Ellie, plopping down next to her on the bed.

"Because I hate him." Ellie responded sternly, looking at me like I was dumb for asking such a question.

"No shit, but the least you can do is be in your best behavior, for my sake. I'm the one who has to live with him."

My words came out rushed, annoyed that she wasn't understanding how uncomfortable living in this house truly was.

The way my mom was black out drunk for days on end, how Dale would sneak around outside my room in an attempt to catch me undressing, not to mention the smashing bottles on the wall or the never ending psychological abuse Dale carried out.

"You're right. M' sorry. That was a dick move. I promise I'll be good."

Ellie held her hands up, one over her chest and the other in the air, signaling a sarcastic attempt to keep her promise.

I roll my eyes and bit my inner cheek to hide a smile. I missed her goofy self, the smug way she would tease to cheer me up.

"Okay, fine...you're forgiven'."

I flash a smile, looking at my phone to cheek the time.

"Shit- I gotta start gettin' ready. Do you have to get ready?" I stand, waking to my closest.

"Uh- I don't know, do I?" Ellie asked, sounding concerned that she had no idea how to dress for a strip club.

I look back at her, observing her outfit more closely. A checkered blue and white flannel with a simple white t-shirt underneath, dark washed denim jeans that hung tight to her legs paired with her signature high top converse that she couldn't live without. She looked good.. like really good. No matter what she wore, I always found myself admiring her, even when we were young. She was effortlessly cool to the point it was annoying to me.

"I-I think you're good. I mean, you're a customer. You can wear whatever, I guess."

I turn back around, shuffling through the designated spot in my closet that I lovingly refer to as "skin rash central". Sequins and feathers and other skimpy clothes that look like discarded scrapes from a Victoria secret factory.

"Ugh- don't call me that."

Ellie winces at the choice of words. Customer. She didn't want to be a customer at a strip club where her childhood best friend worked. It felt wrong like she was crossing an invisible line. Only ever dreaming about the possibility if that line were to break, disappear completely, and the term friends would be replaced with something else.

"Don't worry, you don't have to throw money at me... although I wouldn't be opposed to it-"

Ellie shifts uncomfortable in her seat, clearing her throat to hide the fact her cheeks began to burn hot from my comment.

"Im gonna' get ready... uh- make yourself comfortable." I said, motioning my arms in a way that was meant to be funny, but I realized how stupid I must have looked.

Ellie laughs anyway, nodding and shooing me out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay... lookin' good."

I turn around, observing myself in the spectacle mirror. A red lingerie set that I've worn a few times before, bows and ribbon that dangled across bare skin. Makeup is simple. Classic. Flawless skin with a wing liner, and big eyelashes that complimented the shape of my eyes. A few carefully placed fake beauty marks along my jaw and below my eye. I decided to keep my hair down, letting the length fall to the lower part of my back, loose, big curls that shaped my face and shoulders.

I take a few deep breaths, leaning my hands against the sink.

"You got this. It's just like very other night." I tell myself quietly in the mirror.

I throw on a jacket and sweatpants, not wanting to reveal myself to Ellie quite yet in case she loses her shit.

"Hey- sorry. I know I took forever. You ready?" I return to the room, glancing to my phone to check the time.

9:47 pm

When she didn't respond right away, I looked up to see why she wasn't responding. To my surprise she was already looking at me, more specifically my face.

"Ellie?" I snap my fingers at her, breaking her trance.

Ellie flinches, blinking her eyes a few times.

"Huh? Oh- yeah. I'm ready." Ellie clears her throat, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans.

Her behavior confused me, she was nervous when I came back into the room. I figured it was because she was not use to seeing me all glammed up, considering she knew me when I was a little girl, playing in the mud, catching bugs and reptiles in the creek behind the house. 

"Can we take your car? Dale is gon' kill me if I take his truck again." I asked her, focusing on putting an extra pair of shoes in my duffel bag.

"Yeah, that's cool... uh where is the club located?"

I rushed to my vanity, spraying ungodly amounts of sweet smelling perfume along my body and clothes. Panic was starting to kick in. Anxious that this was defiantly not like every other shift. My best friend was going to be there, to watch me dance half-naked for other people's pleasure.

"Further into the city. Don't worry I'll tell you directions. Traffic might be kinda bad though so we need to leave." I finish putting on deodorant, slugging my bad over my shoulder, dragging Ellie along by her hand out of the house and down the driveway to her car.

"Do you want to play music?" Ellie asked, holding the aux cord.

I happily obliged, shuffling through playlists I made specifically for her. I find one that felt just right, clicking it and waiting for her recognize the beat.

"Oh shit! So it's that kinda night, huh?"

Ellie cranked the volume up, tapping the steering wheel with her hand and started to sing along.

I watch her with a warmness building in my heart. Seeing how happy she was listening to a song we have both heard hundreds of times.

It felt like we were teenagers again, driving around in this same car, having no destination in mind as we blasted borderline obnoxious tunes. Ellie was always older, not just physically but mentally.

I realized my feelings for her when I was 15, and she was 17 going on 18. I could never tell her it would just put her in an awkward situation and possibly ruin our friendship, and I definitely didn't want that.

"Turn left at this light and the club will be on the right side. You can't miss it, it has a bright ass pink neon sign out front."

I bit my lip, feeling insecure about the location of this place, not realizing before how fucking sketchy this part of town was.

Ellie turns the car into a parking spot, killing the engine and took a deep breath.

"You forgot to mention it was in east side."

"...sorry. It's not that bad, I promise."

I look down to my phone, checking the time.

"Oh good! We're kinda early. You can get a drink before I go on." I say a little too excitedly, my thought process being she can get shit faced while I worked, in case I make an ass of myself.

I exit the car, tossing my bag over my shoulder and start heading towards the doors. I stopped, realizing Ellie wasn't right behind me, I turn around.

"What's wrong?" I ask her with a puzzled look.

Ellie's face lit up a pink hue from the sign, her eyes fixated on the building.

"Wha- nothing... nothing. I'm comin'." Ellie words faltered, her head hanging low as she made her way to where I was.

I push open the blurred glass door and examine the crowd. It was fairly busy, considering it wasn't even midnight yet, which is when people started to flood in.

"Hey doll- you're early." Coco greeted me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I greeted her with a smile, genuinely happy to see her face.

"Yeah, I thought traffic would be bad-" a awkward silence formed between the three of us, Ellie looking at me and then down to the floor.

Coco sensed Ellie's lack of experience in a strip club, looking at her and holding a well manicured hand out.

"You must be the best friend. I'm Camilla. It's good to finally meet you. She talks about you all the time."

Ellie shook her hand, focusing heavy on her face to avoid looking at what little clothing she was wearing.

"Oh does she?" She let out a nervous laugh, breaking the hand shake and wedging herself behind me. I was humored by how Ellie was acting. Nervous and in full gay panic, being surrounded by a bunch of girls that were half-clothed.

"I'll leave you to it. Have a good night-" Coco kisses my cheek and then points to Ellie, who straightened her stance immediately like she was meeting the president.

"And you, take care of her tonight. She's good at what she does, but she's a magnet for trouble." Coco turns and disappears into the club, leaving the two of us standing awkwardly by the entrance.

I shake my head, covering my face with my hands out of embarrassment.

"Magnet for trouble?" Ellie repeats her words, a smug tone hinted in her voice as she teased me.

"Don't- just... don't. Now, c'mon let's go get a drink." I grab her wrist, pulling her though the club towards the bar.

"2 shots of tequila please."

I leaned over the bar, kicking my feet like a kid in a candy shop.

Fez, the bartender gave me a stern look, rolling his eyes.

"You can't drink yet, doll. We've been over this." He shook his finger at me, trying to sound serious, but he was a gentle giant, sweet and very easily manipulated.

"C'monnnn please. It's a special occasion."

I blink wide eyed at him, pouting my bottom lip.

Fez shook his head, taking a deep breath and pretended to think hard about it.

"Fine... but I swear this is the last time. No more." He turned, slapping two shot glasses down on the bar and filled them to the brim, letting some spill over onto the counter.

I scootch the glasses closer, holding one up for Ellie, which she takes hesitantly. Her one eyebrow raise, and a smirk on her face as she brings the shot to her lips, throwing her head back as she downs the liquor. I copy her motions, swallowing the liquid, feeling it burn my throat as it made it way down.

"Awh- ohmygod... that's foul." I choke out, scrunching my face and pushing the shit glass away.

Ellie was unfazed by the taste, not flinching  in the slightest.

"You're such a baby." She giggles, shaking me by my shoulder.

"Sorry I'm not a frat boy like you." I snark back, feeling pretty pleased with my remark.

Ellie rolls her eyes playfully to make me feel like I won that conversation.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, letting the screen light up.

"Shit- uh I need to get ready for my set. You can stay here and keep drinking- or if you get hungry, I can ask the guys in the back to make you something?" I ramble, covering all my bases to make Ellie as comfortable as possible.

"I'm fine! Just go do your thing." Ellie let's out a laugh, shooing me away. I give her one last worried look before turning away and walking through the club, maneuvering around people and squeezing between chairs and tables.

I get rid of my jacket and sweatpants, switching out my vans for platform heels. Red to match my outfit, straps that accentuate the top of my foot and up my ankle. I button the straps, flexing my foot to make sure it wasn't pinching the thin skin.

I sat at the vanity, the bright bulbs around the mirror gave me a headache. My nerves were spiraling.

I planned my dances tonight with Ellie in mind as a way to welcome her, to still embarrass her even if the two of us were the only ones who knew. "White mustang" by Lana del Rey was my first song, a little inside joke for both of us, that leaked into "summer bummer" purely because that song made me want to dance, not think too hard. Just dance.

"Fuck. Okay, you got this. Jus' go out there and dance. You've done it dozens of times. No biggie."  I voice words of encouragement to myself, wiping  smudged lipstick from the corner of my mouth.

I coax myself with deep breaths, going through the motions of trying to calm the uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"Doll, you're on."

I look at my co-worker, meeting her eyes through the reflection of the mirror. One last deep breath and I walk through the door, leaving the safety of the break/ hair and makeup room.

I walked slowly, carefully as possible to the stairs of the stage, scared I'd break an ankle in my uneasy footsteps. I kept my head low, scanning the crowd to look for Ellie. Lights strobing shades of pink and red, a haze building from the cigars that were being smoked.

My heels clunked the wood stage floor as I take position on the pole, holding it with one hand as I casually swung around it, waiting for my song to start. Yelling and whistling from the handful of men that gathered closest to the stage. I smile at them, waving playfully while still peeking looks in hopes I'd find my friend.

The first cords of the song started to play. I switch to my professional personality, becoming more serious and seductive. I parade myself around the pole, letting my legs fall wide as I leaned against. Dollar bills started to float onto the stage, hooting and hollering as I caressed my body. I engage with the men, bending over in front of them to show them something worth their time.

From the outside, I looked like I was doing my job and doing it well, but internally I was panicking. I couldn't find the one person I wanted to see, but at the same time, if she was watching and I couldn't see her, it was a new nightmare. Curious to know what her face looked like as she saw her once, innocent, childhood best friend.

Ellie waited as patiently as she could, finding a dark corner of the club where less people were. She sipped on a whiskey she ordered, leaned up against a wall.

A sudden burst of cheers and hollering caused Ellie to jerk her head in the direction where it was coming from. A women was walking into the stage, playfully hanging off the pole. The lights made it hard to make out at first, but upon seeing the light brown, almost copper tinted hair, Ellie's eyes widened, almost choking on her drink.

This was a side to her best friend she has never seen before, skin that Ellie's eyes have never been graced by before, at least not to this extent.

Sure, when they were younger they'd change in front of one another, but Ellie always turned away, scared that her friend would notice the changing hues of her cheeks.

Arms stretched outward towards her like a painting depicting a religious experience, and to be honest it felt like one to Ellie. These men begged for the touch of her hand, the words on her lips, but Ellie was the only one who knows what it was like.

The way she smiles so brightly, laughs so fully like she wanted the whole world to hear. How clumsy she truly was even though she danced so gracefully on the stage.

I prance in my heels all over the stage, trying not to make it obvious was trying to avoid the shining lights in my face to look for Ellie. I squint towards the back of the bar. Her familiar frame came into focus, leaning against a wall like she worked here as a bodyguard.

I wave at her, excited to finally have found her. Ellie does a double take before pointing to herself . I nod, not caring that this wasn't part of the routine as I usher her closer to the stage.

Ellie carefully comes closer, stopping a couple of feet behind the handful of men that surrounded the stage. I felt a burst of energy seeing her, knowing that she was still here.

I lower myself to my hands and knees, crawling forward to the men that clasped bills in their fingers. I lay in front of them, arching my back against the scuffed floor, letting money drape over my face.

Ellie held her breath as she watched, never looking away, hell not even blinking, scared she'd miss even a second of the show.

I get back into my knees, hovering above the paying customers as they place the bills in the straps of my thong and bra, letting it snap back only to be repeated. I diverted my attention away from my patrons to meet Ellie, her eyes heavily glued to me. I raise a finger, pointing it at her and curling it, signaling that I wanted her to come closer.

To my surprise she takes a few more steps forward, shimming between the men who gave her dirty glares in return, but she didn't care. Out of everyone here tonight, Ellie was the one who had all of your attention.

Ellie positions herself front and center of the stage. I crawl closer, leaving only a few inches between our faces.

🎶 the day I saw your white mustang-🎶

Ellie's realization of the song made her crack a smile. Even under the colored lights, I could tell she was blushing, cheeks red making her freckles more prominent. I felt my own cheeks cramp, a wide grin on my lips that I definitely couldn't hide.

I watch Ellie's hand disappear into her back pocket, pulling out crisp bills, and slowly, her hand moves to my chest, using her other hand to open the top of my bra as she inserts it gently, smoothing her finger over my cleavage before she retracts her touch.

"You suck-" I mouth to her, rolling my eyes playfully. My body jittery and my heart thumped loudly against my chest. Without much thought, I leaned down from the stage, planting a kiss to her cheek, which left a very prominent lipstick stain to her pale complexion.

My ears perk up to the changing of the song, feeling much more upbeat after our interaction, I jump up and blow Ellie a kiss, which she pretends to grab before she took a few steps back.

I carry on through my set, shaking my ass more energetically to match the vibe of the music. Dollar bills of various worths littered the stage.

Ellie watched from further away, her eyes loom in my direction as she babied her drink, not wanting to risk forgetting this night.

Ellie didn't try to hide how she bit down on her lip, eyes studying the movements of my hips or how I extended my neck to the side, leaving the exposed skin on display for her imagining how she wanted to mark it.

"So... whaddya think?" I ask out of breath from rushing off of the stage as soon as the song ended.

Ellie opens her mouth and closes it again as her face contorted, trying to figure out what to say that was both respectful, and didn't come off pervy.

"I see why that lady said you attract trouble."

I give her a confused look, tilting my head to the side.

"Huh?"

Ellie purses her lips before making a tsk tsk sound with her mouth.

"You were- unreal... it kinda scares me how incredible you were up there." Ellie looks away, rubbing her thumb over the back of her hand that held her drink.

I feel my face heat up, a giddy sensation building inside me.

"I mean I wouldn't go that far, but thank you Els. It means a lot comin' from you." I said sweetly, interlocking my fingers behind me as I rocked back in forth on my toes. I felt like I was in school all over again... like when you have a crush on someone that's way out of your league, but they talk to you anyways.

"Hey doll, Gerald wants a private dance." Camellia interrupts us, sounding slightly apologetic.

"Ugh- fine." I groan, rolling my eyes.

"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere!" I yell back to ellie as I walked towards the champagne room.

Ellie didn't love the idea of you giving someone a lap dance. She wanted to hold you back, prevent you from walking away, but she didn't because after all, this was your job.... The idea of some old man grabbing you and fantasizing about how he would touch you made Ellie sick.

Ellie waited for your return as patiently as she could. Uneasiness was sinking in, causing her to sip from her glass at a faster pace. She felt a new sensation kicking in as she waited. Maybe it was a sense that she needed to protect you, keep you safe, but no, that wasn't it. It was jealousy. A possessive urge to keep you at arms length. It was a feeling that Ellie desperately tried detaching herself from for a number of years.

"Sorry! That took longer than it should've." I say to Ellie, stumbling back to her slightly out of breath.

"It's fine. When does your shift end?" Ellie's tone shifted. She sounded annoyed, frustrated even.

"Uh... soon." I answer weakly, uncertain why Ellie was acting different towards me.

Ellie didn't seem thrilled with my answer, looking down at her now empty glass and avoiding my face.

"If you want, I can see if I can leave early? It's slowin' down now. I don't think it should be a problem."

Ellie lifted her head, looking at me with wide eyes. Her face lit up at my suggestion, but quickly dwindled.

"You don't have to-"

"Hush. I want to. Plus, I want to spend as much time with as possible... jus' the two of us." I cut her off mid sentence. It was the truth. I didn't want to waste our only time together, not knowing when I'd see her again.

Ellie smiled, her eyes burn into mine causing me to want to lean into her, but she clears her throat when she realized how our gaze lingered.

"Let me go ask." I tell Ellie, resting a hand on her bicep before I turn to leave her again.

"Please! I'm literally beggin' you. Just this once- I won't ask again." I pleaded, holding my hands to my chest, interlocking my fingers in a prayer.

Warren. Aka boss man, looked me up and down, and took a deep breath before rubbing the meaty part between his eyebrows.

"Look- doll. You haven't been working here long enough to be making such requests."

"-and it won't happen again. I swear." I bat my eyelashes a few times in hopes he'd show me some mercy.

There was a few seconds of silence, Warren looked at me and then down to the papers strewn about his desk.

"Fine, but I expect good things from you from here on out. No more slacking."

"Thank you! I promise I will." I rushed over, planting a kiss on his cheek before running out of them room.

I strut over to Ellie, not giving her any time to react as I take her hand in mine and march us out of the building towards her car.

"I guess that's a yes?" Ellie asked, a smug tone hinted on her lips.

"Let's get the fuck out of here." I smile at her as I open the car door.

Ellie does the same, picking a song before she reverses out of the parking spot.

The neon glow of the club's sign was fading behind us as we drove away, windows rolled down to let the cooler breeze of the night swirl around us. This felt like everything I could ever need, ever want. I was happy with just this. The only person who ever looked out for me, who ever cared about me is by my side. I felt safe and loved by her, not really caring if she loved me the same way I loved her.

"I'm sorry I left you." Ellie breaks the silence, turning down the volume of the music so she wouldn't have to yell.

"What? No, don't be sorry. You grew up and so did I. There's nothin' to be sorry about." My voice grew weak as I spoke. It hurt to be reminded that she wasn't a permanent person in my life anymore.

Ellie didn't know what to say to that. She felt the hurt in your voice as you spoke and of how you shifted in your seat. Ellie glanced at you from time to time in her peripheral, taking note how you were still in your 'work' clothes. She quickly reframed herself from starring too hard from how little was being covered.

You turned away from Ellie in the car as you looked out the window, feeling a sense of dread that the night was coming to a close and Ellie would have to leave in the morning.

I felt the engine turn off, an ear piercing silence followed as we both made no effort to get out of the car.

"You ready?" Ellie asked, her voice quiet and gentle.

I nodded, opening the car door and walking up the driveway with Ellie close behind.

Reaching the door, I took out my keys, holding them up to the lock as I took a deep breath, praying that the house was quiet and everyone was asleep or simply just gone.

I creep open the door, listening for any movement and when it felt safe I motioned the coast was clear to Ellie. I shut the door behind us, taking off my heels to prevent the clunking sound on the tile floor.

"Thank-fucking-god." I sigh, falling back into bed, looking up at the plastered ceiling of my room.

"I can't wait to leave and never see this stupid ceiling again."

Ellie lowers herself onto the mattress beside me and looks up to where my eyes fixated before looking down at me.

"Me too." Ellie said absentmindedly, eyes lingering over the skin on your lower stomach and chest.

"Can you bring me with you? I can sleep in your closet or something... people have pets that they hide in there dorms, right?"

I laugh to make it sound like a joke, but it wasn't.

"Trust me. I wish I could." Ellie bit her lip. She couldn't hide how seeing you so close like this and so exposed made her feel. How your breasts pooled over your bra, how the skin between your legs looked so soft and malleable.

I sat up and looked to Ellie when I noticed how her demeanor had changed. Her eyes, usually a bright green where now much darker, more intimidating. My eyes drift to her lips, slightly swollen and glistened from her spit.

Fuck.

I divert my eyes from her face, feeling slightly uncomfortable by how much my body was reacting to her. My thighs squeezed together, my heart pounding and I couldn't stop thinking how much much I wanted to kiss her.

That's when I look at her arms.

Her fucking arms.

The sleeves of the flannel she wore were rolled up to below her elbows, exposing the tattoo on her forearm. The veins in her hand were prominent, trailing upward to her long fingers.

"Fuck-" My inner dialogue slipped, coming out as a whisper.

"I mean-" I try to cover my ass, praying my horny fucking brain to come up with anything, but it was too late.

Ellie leaned forward, putting her arms on either side of me, forcing me to lay back on the bed.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" She asked, tilting her head to the side as a smirk grew on her lips. Her voice sounded different. Low and sensual, unlike I've ever heard from her before.

My breath hitched just from her voice alone, the heat building in my core as she hovered over me.

"Wha- what do you mean?" I stutter, confused and at the same time feeling the effects of the atmosphere change in the room.

Ellie leaned closer, dipping her head so she was inches from my face.

"Still wearing this." Ellie raised her hand, bring her fingers to the strap of my bra and tugging on it.

"Maybe I am." I said barely above a whisper, grabbing her wrist and guided her hand to my stomach before moving it upwards to my chest, encouraging her to touch me.

Ellie's face changed from lust to genuine confusion, eyebrows furrowed and she studied my face.

"This isn't funny."

I shake my head weakly, squeezing her hand that was cupped around my breast.

"I'm not joking, Els. I want you to. Always have."

I bring her hand up and kiss the back of it, making deep eye contact as I leave wet, and sloppy kisses to her skin.

Ellie held her breath as she watched you underneath her, so beautiful and so eager for her touch. Ellie couldn't hold back anymore, all these years of repressing her feelings for you were coming to the surface.

I look up at Ellie, making slow circular motions with my hips as I imagined how Ellie's fingers would feel inside and that was her breaking point. Ellie pulled her hand away, forcing mine above my head as she leaned down and closed the empty space between us.

I moan into her mouth, feeling her lips on mine finally after all these years of only ever dreaming about this moment.

Ellie's lips move sloppily against mine, her tongue grazing over my teeth and exploring the spongy walls inside my mouth.

Ellie breaks away and looks at me, panting slightly from the passionate kiss.

"Are you sure?"

Her eyes were wide, and her brows turned upward. A puppy dog-like expression on Ellie's face caused me to smile, seeing how hard she was holding back just to make sure I was okay.

I simply nodded, reaching up and holding her face to bring her back down to reconnect our lips.

Her hands roamed by body, squeezing my breasts tenderly, but firmly. I did the same to the little amount of skin I could. Lacing my fingers around her forearm, sinking my nails into the flesh.

"Can you take this off? I wanna touch you." I pull away from her lips out of breath, tugging at the hem of her shirt.

Ellie wasted no time, sitting up on her knees and pulling the flannel off her arms, tossing it to the floor.

I gawk at the sight of her as she pulls her shirt over her head, discarding it to the side in one swift motion.

Ellie's stomach was flat and toned, defined ridges that outline her subtle abs that led downwards into a 'v' above the waistband of her jeans.

I bit my lip as I watched, taking in the sight of her.

I bring my hand up and grip the loop in her jeans, pulling her down to taste her again.

I let my fingers slip into her waistband, touching the uncharted territory. Ellie pulls away before I could feel her further, a hungry look in her eyes as her impatience grew.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was low and raspy like pop rocks, igniting your mouth with its rigid edges and leaving a sweet coating on your tongue.

"I wanna feel you." I whine, reaching up to palm her breasts over her sports bra. Ellie let out a muffled whine from the contact, shutting her eyes as she felt me drag a nail over her harden peak.

"You're drivin' me crazy. You know that?-" Ellie says, letting out a low chuckle before weighing out her options.

"Only if I can feel you." Ellie says, negotiating with me as her hand hovered down my stomach, giving me goosebumps as her fingers trickled down the skin.

I nod enthusiastically, gripping the sheets beside my head tighter as I felt her hand palm my pussy, rolling the heel of her hand against my clit.

"Fuu- you're this wet already? I bet I can slip right in.." Her hand continued to grind against the thin fabric.

My back arches under her, swirling my hips against her hand.

"Mm- El... please." I moan, looking up at her with a pained expression. 

"Please, what? Use your words, baby." Ellie said smugly, toying with me as she removed her hand, causing me to cry out from the lack of friction.

"T-touch me. I wan' you in-inside." I stutter over my words, my body wringing beneath her.

"Atta girl."

Ellie lowered herself once again, kissing me deeply, sucking my bottom lip before biting it between her teeth.

I feel Ellie's hand roam my body, tugging and gripping at various parts before she sipped her hand underneath my underwear. Her fingers skimmed along my folds, my slick coating her fingers before she circled around my clit.

My nails dig into the back of her shoulders, breaking the skin but not enough to make her bleed as she picked up the pace on my clit.

My lower stomach clenched and tensed, the heat pilling between my legs and I craved more.

"Ellie- empty.. I need you to fill-"

I was cut off by Ellie's fingers plunging into me over and over again as her fingers curled against my cervix with each thrust. Ellie paused, but only partially as she yanked down my underwear before fucking into me once more.

"FUuu mm-" I cry out, but it was muffled by Ellie's free hand covering my mouth, her fingers digging into my cheeks.

"Shh baby... you have to be quiet." Ellie growled into my ear before kissing the corner of my eye. Tears began to spill down my face from the force of her hand slamming against my cunt. 

I nod as she removed her hand from my mouth, letting it fall to my throat as she gently squeezed it.

I bit the back of my hand, sinking my teeth into the skin as I held back my moans.

"Good girl... such a good girl-" Ellie cooed, placing the occasional sweet and delicate kisses on my face, which didn't line up with what she was doing to my aching core.

Wet sloshes filled the room along with my muted whines from behind Ellie's lips.

I felt a bubbling sensation rising inside me, my mind becoming fuzzy and blank. I felt like I had no control over my body, my limbs becoming stiff  as my eyes roll to the back of my head.

"Els- I'm gonna-" I barely mutter, breaking away from her kiss as my head falls back, pressing deep into the mattress beneath me.

"Cum fr' me, baby girl." Ellie encouraged, her fingers slipping deeper into my cunt with each blow.

I squeeze her bicep, sinking my nails into the freckled skin. Occasional moans that I try hold back escape my lips, no thanks to Ellie. My jaw hung open as I lift my head to watch her fingers disappear then reappear inside me. I couldn't take it anymore, my head rolls back, my eyes shoot to the back of my brain as my stomach tenses, my hips rising with her fingers that continue to fuck into me as she rode out my climax.

I lay on the bed as my cunt continued to throb, taking deep and uneven breaths to try to calm the tingling sensation I felt all throughout my body.

The springs of the mattress creak as Ellie lays down next to me.

"You okay?" Ellie asked, sounding scared like a little kid that got caught stealing candy.

I roll my head over to look at her, her eyes wide and bright that how I always remembered them.

"Yes. I'm more than okay."

I turn my body to face hers, brining my fingers up to tuck a stand of hair behind her ear.

We lay there in silence for what feels like an eternity and I would I've been okay with that. Our hands danced over the skin of our faces, memorizing every curve and line.

"I don't want you to go." I said weakly, almost crying just thinking about her departure.

Ellie cupped my hand that rested on her cheek with her own, rubbing small circles with her thumb to the back of it.

"I know-"

I felt my eyes begin to well and I quickly try to blink them away, but it just made it worse. Tears fall down my cheek and my nose as I softly sobbed.

"Hey- shh.. shhh. It's okay." Ellie soothed me, pulling me into her. I bury my face into her chest as she held me. Her hand soothed over my head, patting it softly as she raked through my hair with her fingers.

I sniffle, pulling away to look at her again.

"I'll be okay. It's just- hard without you here."

Ellie's heart was breaking as she watched you crumble beside her. Your usual carefree and happy self was just a mask that you wore, a mask to make everything seem good and normal when that was the opposite of your life.

Ellie didn't want to leave you just as much as you didn't want her to leave. She couldn't stand the thought of not being able to take care of you, see you everyday and to have you within reach at all times.

Ellie took a shaky breath, unsure if what she was about to say was out of bounds.

"I've been looking at apartments off campus-"

My eyes lit up at Ellie words, confused at first, but equally as excited to know where this was going.

"And if... you want to come live with me in Houston-"

I pounce on top of Ellie, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence.

"Yes! Of fuckin' course I want to live with you!"

My voice became loud and high pitched from my excitement, planting kisses over her forehead and cheeks before I bring my lips to hers, kissing her harder and longer than I intended.

"Okay, okay.. easy there." Ellie laughed, pushing me away to catch her breath.

"I promise I'll get a job and I'll cook and clean-"

Ellie brought her finger to my lips, silencing my rambles.

"Don't worry about that shit, okay? I'm gonna take care of you." Her hand cupped my face, soothing her thumb over my temple.

I fall into her chest, holding her tight, and she did the same. Tears fell from my eyes, not out of sadness from her leaving, but from the happiness that every bad thing that I've ever gone through was going to be that of the past, and now I have something good to look forward to.

"Shit!" I throw my head up, leaving her chest.

Ellie tilted her head, eyebrows raised in confusion from my sudden movements.

"I didn't get to touch you."

Ellie laughed from the genuine disappointment in my voice, pulling me back down to kiss me.

"Don't worry. There will be plenty of time for that."

[heyyyharry]

Night Light (from the Flatmate series)

...in which Y/N never turns off her night light.

"Wait for me in my room. It's the door on the right," he whispered to the girl whose name he'd already forgotten. He'd just met her an hour ago as he was leaving the club.

The girl kissed him drunkenly, and when she was gone, he came into Y/N's room to turn the light off. She'd fallen asleep with her book covering her face, so he removed the book, put it on her desk and left quietly.

A/N: I always fall asleep with the light on, and ever since I moved in with my boyfriend, it's become a routine for him to go into my room (we have separate rooms) to turn off the light for me. That was how I came up with this :)

.

.

.

She forgot to turn off her night light. Again.

See, this was why Harry hated sharing a flat with someone else. He had reminded her so many times before to turn it off before she went to bed, but every night, she would doze off with her book still in her hands. No wonder their electricity bill last month was so high. He had hoped that this girl would be less annoying when she slept, but she always managed to find a way to get on his nerves.

After a long moment of standing outside her door (which she left open for some reason), he decided to come in and turn off the light on her bedside table.

In the morning, he reminded her again. She promised she would turn off the light tonight.

She didn't.

~~~

Harry came home late, stumbling into the flat with his arm around the girl. She giggled too loud, so he shushed her and gestured to Y/N's door. The living room was softly lit by the warm light coming from her room, but he knew she was too deep in her sleep to know that he was home.

"Wait for me in my room. It's the door on the right," he whispered to the girl whose name he'd already forgotten. He'd just met her an hour ago as he was leaving the club.

The girl kissed him drunkenly and when she was gone, he came into Y/N's room to turn the light off. She'd fallen asleep with her book covering her face, so he removed the book, put it on her desk and left quietly.

~~~

Harry was in Paris tonight with his friends for Layla's birthday.

Y/N had stopped responding to his messages, so he assumed she had fallen asleep. As he sat on the sofa, drinking cheap wine with his friends while a shitty EDM song was blasting from Louis' Bluetooth speaker, he thought about Y/N sleeping with her light on.

~~~

"You're awake?"

Y/N looked up at him from her laptop, face lit by the cool light from her screen. "Yeah, deadline."

"That's what you get for procrastinating," he smirked.

"Can you procrastinate annoying me? I can't deal with you right now."

"Need help?"

"No, thanks."

"You sure?"

She gave him a dismissive wave. "I'm sure. Thank you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said. "Remember to turn off the light."

"I will."

Harry went to his room and lay in the dark for an hour or so. When he came back to check on her, she had fallen asleep and her light was still on.

~~~

Harry was well aware that he was drunk when he entered the flat as the room was spinning. He didn't know how he managed to make it to Y/N's room without knocking over furniture, but he wanted to give himself a pat on the back.

As expected, she'd fallen asleep, again, with the light on. He sat down on the edge of her bed, not because he wanted to, but because he felt so dizzy that standing only made it worse.

"Goodnight," he whispered to her, hesitated for a moment before turning off the light.

Right after he'd left her room, he went straight into the bathroom to throw up.

~~~

He had been avoiding her all day, for reasons even he didn't understand.

It was 1AM when he came into her room to turn off the light. Before he left, he told her something he wasn't brave enough to say when she was awake. He went back to bed, worried that she might have heard it.

She hadn't.

~~~

Harry tried to be as quiet as he could, but when he came in to turn off the light tonight, Y/N stirred awake.

She blinked sleepily at him. "Hi."

"Hi," he said nervously. "Just gonna turn the light off for you."

"Thank you," she said with a smile.

"Goodnight," he said and switched the light off.

"Goodnight. I love you."

The three words froze him when he turned away. They'd confessed their feelings to each other last night, so why did it still feel like the first time?

"I...love you, too," he said, smiling shyly at her. He was thinking of kissing her before he left, but she'd already buried herself under the duvet.

~~~

"Do you want to cuddle before bed?"

Her bed was warm and smelt like her. He gave her a lot of kisses as she read her book with her head on his chest. When she fell asleep, he reached over to turn off the light.

~~~

Harry came back late for a business dinner today and she was still awake.

"It's already midnight," he said, loosening his tie.

She smiled up from her book. "We couldn't go to bed without you."

He kissed her on the lips and then her baby bump. "I'll take a shower and join you both."

When he returned, she'd fallen asleep. Harry turned off the light and carefully slipped into bed.

~~~

"Ria fell asleep with the light on, again," Y/N complained as she returned to bed from her daughter's room.

Harry chuckled, pulling her into his arms. "Like mother, like daughter. I had to turn off your light for you for years."

"I had my reasons."

"Oh yeah? What were they?" he asked, stroking her hair.

She grinned up at him. "At first, I wanted to annoy you. Then you kept doing that so I didn't bother to turn off the light anymore."

"Why am I not surprised at all?" Harry laughed, but he was glad she'd deliberately done it in the first place. "Now could you turn off the light on your side, please?"

[graneymar]

#1. NEYMAR: Bitter taste

SUMMARY: You and Neymar have been dating for only a few months when there were rumours about you being on vacation with your ex.

WARNINGS: angst

PAIRING: Neymar x female reader

Neymars POV:

Impossible. This can't be real. She would never do that. She loves me. I kept looking at the pictures and videos Y/N's ex posted on instagram a few days ago. She told me she'd be on vacation with her mother, but seemingly my fans knew better. They found recent pictures of her and her ex in Malta. I couldn't take my eyes off those pictures and stories. Pictures and videos of them at the beach together, clubbing, hugging, even kissing. Of course these images went viral instantly. Everyone was talking about how the "former playboy" Neymar Jr. got cheated on himself this time. Some people called it my karma, saying I deserved it. Others wished Y/N death in the comment section. But me? I felt nothing, pure emptiness. No emotions, no feelings. No sadness, no anger, nothing. Looking at her in these photos, I couldn't even recognize her as the woman I loved so much. She seemed so different. Her facial expressions, her gestures, her whole behavior. Who is she? Have I been really giving my all to someone I didn't actually know at the end of the day?

"Sinto muito irmão", Cris, one of my closest friends, texted me [I'm very sorry, bro]. Obviously he heard about the news already. I didn't even have the power or nerve to respond.

I was sitting outside on the terrace. It was about 8pm and Y/N was supposed to get here in about two hours. In those eight months we were together we have never been apart from each other for so long. We always managed to at least see each other at the weekends. Now she has been gone for three weeks and to be honest, I didn't even want her to come back. Thinking about how jealous she always used to be, how scared she was of losing me, and now it was her I saw in the arms of someone else.

I walked around the apartment, trying to find something to distract myself. The bottle of red wine I planned to drink with Y/N tonight caught my eye finally. Sinking into the couch I opened the bottle and couldn't stop myself from taking one sip after another. My family and friends called and texted me non-stop, reaching out to make sure I was alright, but I didn't want to talk to anyone. I switched my phone off and continued gazing at the TV that wasn't even on. All I saw was my reflection, sitting on the couch with a bottle of wine in my hands. Like a damn fool.

Soon enough, the second bottle was opened and I started feeling a little tipsy. No, I can't be here when she arrives. I can not stand looking or talking to her now. "Hey Kylian, what's up? Wanna go out tonight?", I called him after switching on my phone again, ignoring all the messages and missed calls. "Do you really think it’s a good idea to go out clubbing? Y/N will be there soon, you should probably talk it out", he replied.

"This is exactly what I don’t want and need. I've been sitting here overthinking it all for hours now. I need some distraction." It was clear to me that Kylian wasn't thrilled, but in the end, he agreed to get some drinks with me.

Y/Ns POV:

I could barely hold back a squeal of happiness the moment I opened the door to Neymars house. Three weeks without him felt like a year to me. I never thought I would miss someone so much.

Why are all the lights turned off? Weird. I expected him to wait for me, but didn't think of anything bad as I assumed he probably fell asleep on the couch, but no, he didn't. The only thing I saw were two empty bottles of red wine and a third one open. I laughed to myself "He really couldn’t wait and got drunk before I even arrived, hm?" Being sure that he already dozed off in the bedroom, I entered quietly, only to find the room empty. I slowly started worrying. Where the hell was he? What was going on? Is this another one of his stupid pranks? I tried to switch on my phone to see if he texted me anything, but the battery was dead. As I was looking for a charger, I noticed a little note at the side of my bed and picked it up.

I hope you had a great vacation with (your ex's name). Pack your stuff and be gone by tomorrow morning.

What the fuck? Where did this come from? My heart was racing, I started panicking. "Come on, come on, come on", I said as I tried to turn on my phone once more. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I finally was able to type in my code. I tried calling Neymar, but as expected, he didn't pick up. After the probably 7th call I decided to check if he posted something on his instagram story, revealing where he would be or what he was doing. He didn’t post anything, but Kylian did. He was out with Neymar, in some kind of club. Suddenly I got a text from my best friend. "Uhm, why is (your ex's name) posting pictures of you two together? Aren’t these old?" What did he do? I knew he never liked seeing Neymar and me together, but making up rumours?! For what? Did he really think I'd go back to him after he tried to destroy my relationship?

I searched (your ex's name) up on instagram and was in shock. He indeed posted pictures and videos of us together in Malta from a year ago. I scrolled through the comments. Some people were making of Neymar, saying he deserved to get played after everything he has allegedly done to women. But most of them wished me death, stating they expected me to cheat, I am so fake, I never loved Neymar but his money and fame only.

The tears started rolling down my cheeks as I sat down on the bed. How could he ever think I would actually cheat on him? Didn’t I show how much I loved him? Wasn’t I doing enough for him and our relationship? Glancing at the note he wrote once more, I shook my head. I wouldn’t just leave him like this. Not for some stupid cheating rumours.

Neymars POV:

I decided to spend the night at Kylians house, giving Y/N the opportunity to leave before I'd get home. Normally, going out with friends and drinking always distracted me for at least a few hours, but it didn’t help me at all last night. Quite the opposite even. My eyes were still red and puffy from all the crying. My throat was burning due to the amount of alcohol I drank.

Entering the house I could still smell her fragrance. I took a deep breath, knowing this was the last time I would be "that" close to her. Looking around I realised there really wasn’t any of her belongings, meaning she most probably read the note and left like I told her to. "Oh shit", I whispered to myself as I entered the living room, seeing the bottles of wine that left a disgusting smell. As a consequence of the heavy drinking from last night, I couldn’t stand to smell any form of alcohol, so I decided to spend some minutes on the terrace. To my surprise, the door stood open. I stepped out and saw Y/N sitting on the bench, drinking coffee. "What are you doing here?", I harshly asked, "I told you to leave by the morning."

"And you really think I would just leave you like that?" Her eyes were as red and puffy as mine. She looked like she hasn’t slept the whole night. My heart would actually break seeing her cry, especially knowing I was the reason, but this time I didn't even care. "Well, you really should since I fucking told you to." The tears in her eyes were forming again as she looked away from me. "Have you at least packed your bags?", I asked her. She shook her head from left to right. "Then I'm going to do it for you", I said going inside.

"Neymar", Y/N shouted following me. I opened the door to her closet and started taking her stuff out. "Can you at least hear me out? I just want to explain it all to you." I looked at her in disbelief and laughed sarcastically. "I don't need an explanation. Everything I need to know, I saw."

"But it isn’t true Neymar, I didn’t cheat on you." I let out an annoyed moan. "You want to tell me these pictures are photoshopped? You met him by accident and then decided to spend your vacation with him so you wouldn’t get bored with your mom? Honestly, just drop it. I don’t wanna hear shit from you." Watching her breaking down in tears made me swallow very hard, but I couldn’t give in, not after her cheating on me with her ex. "The pictures and videos he posted are old. It was on his birthday, last year."

"Mhm, and it’s just a coincidence you've been there on his birthday again right?"

"Actually, yes. You know he lives there. The year I've been with him I was there all the time. I even thought of moving there. Trust me, I don't give a damn about him anymore. I just fell in love with the island." We remained silent for a moment, while I continued to throw her belongings into a random suitcase I found. "I don't know how to prove it to you, Ney. I deleted all those pictures as soon as we got together. I can’t even show you they’re old." No response from me. "He always wanted to tear us apart because he knew you were the real reason I left him."

"Congratulations to him. He succeeded", I coldly replied. She took out her phone and started scrolling, "Here." From the corner of my eye, I saw her holding her phone up. "Y/N, I don't want to see anything. I don't even care anymore. We're done."

"But this is undeniable proof that he is lying", her voice got louder, which made me raise an eyebrow at her. "Undenibale proof you say, huh?" I took the phone out of her hand and saw her instagram story archive. The same pictures and videos he posted a few days ago. My heart stopped for a second when I saw the date. Over a year ago. Not even able to look at her, I handed her her phone back. I couldn’t say a word, I felt so stupid. "But if you wish for me to leave, I will", she broke the silence, ripping her stuff out of my hand, "I just wanted to let you know that I would never cheat on you and if you still decide to go separate ways, it’s okay. Just please know that I really do love you and could never do anything to hurt you." I watched her filling the suitcase with her clothes. "And for your future relationships, you should really consider talking to your girlfriend first before leaving her without even giving her a chance to explain herself", she somehow managed to say inbetween her sobs. "Y/N, baby…" I softly hugged her from behind and turned her around. She buried her face in my chest and started crying even harder. "I'm so sorry. I can’t believe I even thought you would do that to me. He just made everything seem so legit and real." We just stood there, no one saying a word until she calmed down a little. "I love you Neymar, I love you so much. How could you even believe it for a second?" she spoke up.

"I didn’t at first, but… what would you think? I knew you were actually there and all of a sudden these photos appear on his instagram. And it’s not even a year ago that you broke up with him. I was scared you could possibly go back." Y/N finally looked up, staring right into my eyes. "I love you, you idiot", she said before pecking my lips quickly. "I love you too." I wiped away her tears with my thumb. "How about we'll take a nap, order food later and watch some movies? I think none of us really slept this night." She yawned as she nodded. "Sounds good to me."

[theprenderelliepalace]

Perception

part 2

Read part 1 and part 3 here:

Summary: Y/n heads over to the Salvatore residence to deliver some books, expecting to find trouble, being the odd one out and everything, she doesn't expect his name to be Damon Salvatore. What happens when things get a little more intense once she's caught red-handed?

Warnings: Swearing, alienating friends, traumatic experience, uhh self-doubting MC? Plot point Elena, mysterious supernatural stuff (so, the usual)

Word count: 2k

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I could curse Bonnie Bennet for her terrible timing. Finally, something interesting happens to me, Y/n, for a change and off he went, evaporating from the living room like hot steam in a sauna. God it was hot in here. Damon Salvatore had been drunk, he'd pinned me to the couch and kissed me, we'd fought like usual - I'd insulted him like usual- and then the inexplicable happened. I heard his thoughts. One thought to be specific, "I don't like lying, Y/n." What had that meant? Sure, the guy was attracted to me for some reason that was a cruel joke of fate, but he loved Elena! The girl I hated more than I cared to admit...

It was all so surreal. I was barely wrapping my head around it before I heard Bonnie bustle into the living room. I watched her absently, she came down the steps, threw a log onto the fire like she owned the place. Perfectly judgey, as Bonnie often was.

"Earth to y/n? I came in here five minutes ago, aren't I supposed to be the spacey one?" She smiled at me, it almost reached her eyes. Almost. "Did you bring the books?" She asked. And suddenly I was back on Earth.

"Uh, yeah, yeah." I sucked in a breath and sat up straighter on the couch. I could still feel the tingle in my lips, where he'd gripped onto my waist, where his lips had been against my ear... "So, these books. Prolly not the most legible. They've been tucked under some rock in the town library while my mom and I were traveling." Books. I was here to give Bonnie books, not think about whatever the hell let me read the leather-clad mosquitoe's thoughts. "Some of it's in Scandinavian I think. Mostly memoirs." Stop. Thinking. About. It.

I felt myself blush as Bonnie came over and sat next to me on the couch. She stared at me, almost like she was staring through me. I watched her grapple with something to say. I noticed the nervous clamp of her slender fingers in her lap. She wanted to talk to me about something important then, but didn't know how to say it. I groaned inwardly, in the last 6 months that I had been back in in this dogeball court of a town, where every second neighbour was something that could kill you, the main entourage that was the Mystic High popularity club always only looked like that when-

"Can I ask you something about Elena?" Bonnie tried. Her. That was the curse of having the enhanced ability of perception, I knew what was about to irritate me before it came out of the person's mouth.

"Sure. Shoot." I cringed. She sighed, straightening her shoulders.

"What happened between you two? One day,the four of us were best friends. The next.. you were off with your mom traveling the world. I know something happened, but neither of you will talk about it, so I just-" She was becoming breathless as I stopped her. The eagerness for answers tainting her rational sense of social courtesy.

"- Bonnie, I'm not ready to talk about it. If Elena isn't either then that's that. Besides, it's my business. It has nothing to do with anyone else besides Elena," I felt my throat clench," and me." I didn't remember standing, but I was. I had walked behind the two wingback chairs next to the fireplace and up the stairs. My feet were taking me to the front door, and honestly, I couldn't blame them. "I'll see you later Bon." I said her nickname like one of us still thought we were friends, I didn't believe that person was me.

"But we're your friends! We always have been, you and Elena shouldn't have been so secretive in the first place! We could've figured things out... Come on Y/N you've been back in town 6 months and we've barely said a word to each other. It's always about saving Elena. I know you aren't helping us because of her." I felt my jaw clench and my fists ball. I'd always been a 'fight kind of gal', I'd be loathe to hit Bonnie square in the face, but the thought crossed my mind.

"Bonnie, enough. I'm not your friend, I'm not a kid anymore. Don't treat me like one. I'm not on trial, I don't need to be. Especially with you." I looked at her, I saw her flinch, my gaze must've been harder and colder than I thought. "I'm helping Elena because it's important. I got mixed up with the Salvatores just as much as you did. Klaus is not a force to be reckoned with."

I put my hands in my pockets. Backing up to the hall, I had an airy look about my stride and my face was one of plastered lightheartedness, but I was shaking. "Enjoy your study session from hell. Call me if you need a translator. And tell Stefan whatever Caroline wanted me to tell him." She looked broken hearted as I turned and glanced over my shoulder. My heart twanged, but it was better this way. No one liked to be around the girl that could see everything. That's what I told myself.

-------------------------------------------------------

I was wandering. A habit I had picked up in Italy. The streets were beautiful there, hours of aesthetic entertainment, for free. Mystic Falls wasn't as entertaining. There were trees, I sighed and glanced to my left, and trees. I shook my head and chuckled at the absurdity of it all. I was angry at Damon, how can he just kiss a girl like that and- and then speed off like a bloodsucking coward. Drunken bastard.

Truth be told, it was a good kiss a very good kiss. I felt disgusted with myself for enjoying it, he came onto me, but at the same time; there was this static tension between us. We bantered, he tried to eat me, I shot him in the foot. It wasn't very poetic as attractions went, but it was there. It was something I couldn't really explain, but it was almost as though it had been there ever since I met the guy.

I stopped walking. There was an old stump on the side of the road. It looked about as good as a chair in the woods can get. I heaved myself onto it. My legs were tired from all the fast paced walking. I'd probably have to turn around soon and head back to the boarding house for my car. It seemed like such a waste to let all these feelings cloud my judgement. Damon, Bonnie, Elena... It was more than I could handle today. I put my head into my hands, letting myself sink into my lap.

I'm 16 and I want to retire already. I laughed at the thought.

I shot up, there was a rustling in the thick underbrush. Footsteps, male, moving faster, heartbeat- wait, what?

I pinched the bridge of my nose, not again. "Hey speedy Gonzolez. Find your tail between your legs in the last half-hour?" I asked with a bitter twist to my voice. I picked up a pebble and threw it in his direction. I heard him catch it.

"Aren't you full of it today." He said it with a questioning lilt to his voice, I knew he meant it with a threat carved into his cadence. He walked around my stump and stood in front of me on the road. "Had to get sober." He shrugged at the statement, like he'd simply just said I was a girl and he was a guy.

I raised a brow at him. "Are you a clone or something? An alien trying to take over the stupid little town of Mystic Falls."

He smiled. "Not much to take over."

" All aliens need to start building their hybrid cloning nests somewhere."

"Ew." He grimaced.

"It's true. The TV done told me sir. I saws it wit' my own eyes." I imitated a southerner a little too well. Damon told me as much. I told him to shove it. He sat down cross-legged in front of me. He put his hands under his chin and stared up at me expectantly. I recoiled slightly. "Okay seriously, who are you and what have you done with duchebag Damon Salvatore?" He shrugged again.

"Dunno, but I feel like I should ask you something." He looked contemplative and very, un-Damon-like.

"Well ask away hot shot. And then go away." He was just staring at me, scrutinizing me. "Okay that's getting a bit creepy now" I felt like a frog jumping into the frying pan. I shifted and sat up straighter. "Okay I'll bite, what do you want to ask me?"

"That kiss..." He seemed lost in thought again. "What you heard me think, i felt it." I scoffed.

"Obviously bat-boy. You jumped away from me like I set you on fire." He cocked his head at me.

"You know I can't actually turn into a bat?" He was almost amused.

"Boo, reject bat-boy. What, you a Friday batch vampire? No love for the poor guy with the terrible fashion sense?"

"Hey!" Good, at least he changed his expression to something slightly normal, or whatever was 'normal Damon'. "Insult my style, I rip your throat out." I leaned forward on my knees.

"Why? It's not like you care what you look like." I looked away from him, "or what you do to other people." All of a sudden I felt heated. "You can't just kiss a girl and blame it on being drunk. Either pine for Elena or get a real girl, don't be a dick and then come out here and stare at me for some creepy fucking reason. And FOR GODS SAKE DAMON, stop staring at me..." His piercing blue gaze remained unwavering, passive and increasingly alarming.

"Can I kiss you again?" He asked. I was confused.

"I- you- what? I- no, wait. What?" He sped over to me. His black hair feathered out across his face, his lashes were long and fluttering, even though he still stared at me with those swirling ice pools, there was something in his gaze. It was almost soft, something that made those icy eyes appear as blue as the open sky. It made me feel- free. "Yes."

He was on me in a second, the fire, the passion, that hot burning sensation pressing into my lips. His hands roamed my lower back, he gripped my waist so hard I thought be could snap me in two right there. He probed my lips apart with his tongue, asking permission for entry. I allowed it, God help me. Suddenly I was pinned against a tree, he brought my thigh up and pressed it against his hip. My stomach exploded into little butterflies, my heart felt like it might give out at any second. All of a sudden my arms were wrapped around his neck and I was pulling him closer. I moaned into his mouth as we moved around each other, matching our rhythms.

We shouldn't be doing this. It was a thought, just a simple passing thought as I allowed myself to give back into him. He pulled away from me, breathless as I was. He looked at me, eyes deep and intense. I recognized that look in his eye. "You heard that didn't you?" He only nodded.

Then he was off of me and 3 feet away. I felt him put up all his barriers, brush his jacket down with his hands and turn up his collar. Like nothing ever happened. He stared at me coldly, calculating. "We need to go."

I blinked. "Where?" I was still Damon-ed out. My brain wasn't working like it should've been.

"Georgia. I think I know what's happening to us, and if you have any sense you'll want to stop it." He looked like a pillar, tall and unwavering. I was going with him, it didn't matter what I said or how loud I screamed.

So all I said was, " What's happening Damon?" I could hear the exhaustion in my voice, I could feel the darkness spreading through my consciousness .

He walked over to me, letting me lean my weight into him and I began to see spots. He sighed, the same tiredness I was feeling weighing on his breath. "I think it's a vampire thing. We have to get a move on before the, uh, the coven moves on." He was fighting whatever this was better than i was.

I couldn't get words out. My body went limp. What vampire thing?

I think our souls might be bonding. I heard him reply in my mind. Then the darkness swallowed me.

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Hey!!! Thank you so much for reading.

This is a long one I know. But I felt like some regular screening for teenage drama needed to be added in. I know this is kind of filler, but oooo, what's Y/Ns secret end game? And why's Damon being so sketchy?

Requests are open!

Comment and let me know what you think of the story so far!

Masterlist

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

My heart Beats for no one but you

Jay White X fem reader Word Count 5K

Main Masterlist Jay White Masterlist

Summary: Everyone wanted to know the real reason Jay White left NJPW to come to AEW when he had contracts around the world. The truth is he came to AEW because of Y/n, the love of his life. He was going insane without her by his side and he knew he would die if they coudn't be together.

Everyone wants to know why I became All Elite. Why I decided to come to AEW when I had offers all around the world. I was the hottest free agent and of all the places to pick I decided to join All Elite Wrestling. Even though I might not be getting booked the way I wanted to I don’t regret signing with AEW, not in the slightest. Why? Well, it’s because of Y/n. 

Y/n and I met years ago in Japan. She was in Bullet Club and I was just starting out in New Japan Pro Wrestling. I remember when I met her for the first time. She was everything. She was gorgeous, everything about her was perfect. In a way, I looked up to Y/n. We were the same age but she had the experience over me, she had accomplished so much for her age. She truly was one of the best pro wrestlers out there. Due to that, I would often ask her for advice just as an excuse to talk to her. Two years after my debut in New Japan I realized I was in love with Y/n. I found the courage to ask her out and we began going out in 2017. She even helped me get into Bullet Club, which I am forever grateful for. The two of us were perfect for each other, we fit each other perfectly. I knew she was my soulmate, I knew I would marry her. We spent all of our time together, we were joined at the hip. People claimed it was too much, we were obsessed with each other but the truth was I just found my other half. 

Y/n knew that some of the other boys wanted to leave New Japan. She knew they wanted her to go with them but she never told me about the secret plans. Instead, she acted like nothing happened and encouraged me to betray Kenny Omega. “You should turn on Kenny and take over Bullet Club. I’ll help you!” I remember looking at her like she was crazy. “Now why would I do that? Don’t get me wrong I like the idea but why would you encourage me to turn on some of your best friends?” Later I found out that Y/n put in a good word and wanted me to become the new leader of Bullet Club once the Elite left. 

A year after Y/n and I made it official, in late 2018 she helped me to take over Bullet Club. Many members such as Kenny, Matt, Nick, Cody and Hangman left the club soon after and ended up leaving New Japan as a whole. I knew Y/n was hiding something from me for months leading up to the betrayal but every time I tried to bring it up I was shut down. “You won’t understand. I’m just under a lot of stress” It was true, she was under a lot of stress. I felt like our relationship was forming cracks due to it. The sneaky phone calls, how she would come home late at night and leave in the morning before I got up. Anyone else would think she was cheating on me but in my gut, I knew it was something different. I knew that whatever it was that was bugging Y/n she would tell me when she was ready. 

The night I took over Bullet Club we went out to celebrate. All of my friends such as Juice, Finlay and the remaining members of Bullet Club went out and partied all night. I was sad Y/n didn’t join us. She said she needed to have some meetings with New Japan and I believed her. Once I returned to our shared flat I found Y/n a mess. Her hair was a mess, her makeup was smudged, various empty bottles and half-lit cigarettes were scattered on the floor. I was drunk but the moment I saw Y/n I was instantly sober. I carefully sat down next to Y/n on the floor and carefully asked her what’s wrong? That’s when she broke. Everything she was hiding for months came flooding out. She cried and cried, all I could do was hold her and tell her I was there for her. When she was able to calm down enough to speak she told me everything. 

“I’m sorry Jay. I’m sorry I’ve been hiding everything from you. The truth is everyone is leaving New Japan. Kenny, Matt, Nick and Cody want to start their own wrestling promotion and they want me to go with them. They want me to move to America” I didn’t know what to say. I was in shock. This explains why she suggested the betrayal. Everything was slowly starting to make sense. I didn’t want to know the answer to this question but I had to ask. “Are you going to go with them?” “I don’t know. It’s complicated. As much as I love them I don’t know if I can move back to the States on a flip of a dime when there is still so much uncertainty” The truth was I didn’t want Y/n to leave but I knew this could be a big opportunity. 

Fast forward a few months and All Elite Wrestling was formed. Y/n had declined the offer to join everyone in America. The Bucks understood her reasoning, the unknown was scary. She liked the stability she had in Japan. They said they would always have a contract with her name on it if she ever changed her mind. I also knew they wouldn’t give up that easily on her. Y/n’s contract with New Japan was up and although she was offered a new one she had a bigger contract waiting for her in America. I’ll never forget the day when I saw that letter arrive in the mail. I felt my stomach drop when I saw it. The difference between this official contract and The Elite asking Y/n to come to America was that this letter was from Tony Khan. The billionaire that invested in AEW. We opened the letter together and discussed the pros and cons of the offer. 

Pros: Making way more money, more vacation time, closer to family, better benefits, reuniting with old friends, new opponents, more opportunities, and a guaranteed championship

If I was Y/n I would have taken the contract. Despite whether AEW would succeed or not she would still be making good money. AEW offered her a million-dollar contract, something neither of us expected. The con list was small but for some reason, they were controlling Y/n’s decision. 

Cons: No Jay White, move across the world, 14hr time difference, no Jay 

“Y/n, I think you should really consider this contract. It’s amazing! You deserve it. I don’t want to be rude or anything but you have done everything in Japan. There is nothing else left for you to do. Just think about it. I’ll be fine here, I can take care of myself.” I didn’t know why Y/n insisted on staying here in Japan with me when I knew she was frustrated and bored. 

“I can’t go, Jay!” She told me “Why not? I’d take that contract in a heartbeat!-” “Because I need you. I think I would go insane if I moved to the other side of the world and couldn't see you. I’m completely in love with you Jay. Long distance never works out and there is no way I’m going to let you slip through my fingers” I knew her words were genuine. She wanted to go but was she really willing to sacrifice her dreams to be with me? It took a lot of convincing but Y/n agreed to at least try going to try AEW. We packed the essentials in suitcases and this was the end. I knew how much it would hurt but I couldn't let Y/n throw this away for me. Our drive to the airport was silent. We couldn't say a word without bursting into tears. I was never an emotional person but I now understood how Y/n felt. We said our goodbyes at the gate but neither of us could hold it together. “I can’t do this, Jay. I need to stay here with you” Y/n told me as neither of us dared to break the hug we were currently in. “Then stay. We can figure something out. As selfish as it sounds I need you here with me too” In the end Y/n declined yet another offer from All Elite Wrestling and took the same old New Japan contract she had been in forever. At least this time they offered her more money. Was it anything close to what she could be making in America? No, but it was a job, right?

With Y/n staying in Japan it led us to take over New Japan. The two of us were quickly the faces of the company and were able to solidify ourselves as two of the biggest stars in the history of New Japan Pro Wrestling. This was a big accomplishment for anyone, an even bigger one for two foreigners. I became the first-ever grand slam champion and Y/n made history by being the first woman to win a men’s championship in NJPW. It truly was us against the world, no one could beat us, no one was on our level. We were able to bring back the spotlight to NJPW. In a way we saved wrestling. Even though we were on the highest of highs it didn’t mean we didn’t experience the lows. Social media and pro wrestling never got along. Wrestlers never truly got the appreciation they deserved. Everyone called our sport fake but there is nothing fake about it. Sure some things are predetermined but the injuries, the risk, it was no joke. I could tell you stories about some scary moments in wrestling, this shit is not fake, the people who claim it to be are full of shit. When you are on that mountain people fight for your spot, they envy you, it can get messy at times.

 Once I was in a storyline with Will Ospeary and it got way out of hand. It was just supposed to be Will Osepeary Vs Jay White but those freaks in the United Empire couldn't help themselves. They started going after Y/n, they would make inappropriate comments at her, interfere with her matches and on more than one occasion try to snatch her from me. A war had broken out between Bullet Club and the United Empire and unfortunately, Y/n was caught in the middle of it.

I didn’t understand the hyperfixation they had on her. Sure she was stunning but she was taken, she was mine, and everyone knew that. That didn’t stop them from trying to get into her pants. When I first found out about the situation I was furious. I was going to murder the United Empire. The fight was set, this was going to end everything but it was only the beginning. 

The ring was chaotic, bodies were everywhere. It was WWIII, Bullet Club Vs The United Empire. During the match, Will and his goons had managed to get to Y/n, who was a special guest commentator. I tried everything in my power to get to her but I was handcuffed and duct-taped to the ring. I was forced to watch their attack on the love of my life. She was defenceless, she couldn't do anything. I was a five-on-one attack. The sound of kendo sticks to the back, snapping in half was sicking but not as bad as the chair shot to the head which busted her open. The worst was the tacks, why on earth would they use thumbtacks? By the time I got free, it was too late. The match was called off, no winner no loser, not even a draw, it went too far. I spent that evening screaming at the entire Bullet Club, why did no one do anything? I fired half of them on the spot. I couldn't even get myself to look Y/n in the eye, I was ashamed of myself. I couldn't protect my woman, I was a coward. “Look at me Jay” I couldn't “Look me in the eye” I turned to see my love’s once-green eyes all red and dark. I held her face in my hands delicately and looked at every mark that was left. I cringed at the 15 stitches and 3 staples in the side of her head. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry honey bee. I should have never let this happen” I told her. “I’m okay, this is not your fault,” she told me reassuringly. “But it is my fault, I did nothing. I watched that whole attack play out and I did nothing. And you’re not okay, you’re concussed, you have stitches and staples in your skull, and you’re covered in welts and bruises. This is not okay, you’re not okay” I was grateful we were alone, I didn’t understand why I had become so emotional. I couldn't stop the tears from falling, I felt weak. 

Times like that were hard, shit goes south, and you find yourself being stocked by fans. Not to mention that many of our friends moved on from New Japan. Despite all of that Y/n and I remained loyal to the company. During all of this, AEW just got more and more popular. She would never admit it but I knew a part of Y/n regretted not signing with AEW when she got the chance. I could see it in her eyes. In the few years of the company’s existence, they managed to change the world. I knew deep down that I should have pushed harder for Y/n to go but I was too selfish, I’ll never forget that and promised myself I would repay the favour one day. 

That day came sooner than I thought. One day Y/n and I got called into NJPW headquarters to discuss some classified information. I was skeptical and honoured that they wanted us to be a part of such a secret meeting. I was shocked to see that one of the many important faces in the room was none other than Tony Khan himself. He explained that he’s a huge fan of ours and that he would like to have a joint PPV with AEW and NJPW called Forbidden Door. He explained the concept and I was interested. This was a great way to show the American crowd Japanese wrestling and vice versa. I knew this would break the wrestling world, this had never been done before. Dream matches would be made, people all over the world would be talking about this. Best of all Y/n and I were going to be promoting the event. They wanted us to go scout out AEW for who we thought would work best with our talent along with building stories for who we would want to face. Of course, we agreed and soon enough we raided All Elite Wrestling.

During the main event on an episode of Dynamite Y/n and I emerged from the crowd and attacked the people in the ring. By this point, people knew of the joint PPV but didn’t know who would be in it or who would be the first to make a move. Y/n grabbed a mike and introduced us to the crowd, but to our surprise, no introduction was needed. They knew who tf we were. “In case you dumb Americans don’t know who we are, let us introduce ourselves. That right there is Jay Mother Fucken White, The catalyst of professional wrestling and your current IWGP world heavyweight champion. The first and only Grand Slam Champion in New Japan Pro Wrestling and the very best wrestler in Japan. You must live under a rock if you don’t know who I am. In case you don’t recognize me, my name is Y/n Y/l/n or as they call me in Japan ‘The Goddess of Love’. Jay and I lead Bullet Club and have taken over wrestling in Japan.  We’re simply the best that Japan has to offer so of course we had to come check out All Elite Wrestling. I’ll admit it’s cute here, different but cute. Boo us all you want but whether you like it or not you will be seeing a lot more of us. We will take over All Elite Wrestling and you all will have no choice but to breathe with the Switchblade!” Just like I thought, they ate it up. Y/n and I made history yet again. 

In the weeks leading up to Forbidden Door, many talent from Japan started appearing. The card was booked and everything was going perfectly. I was booked to face Okada, Adam Cole and Hangman Page in a four-way for my title and Y/n would get to wrestle AEW women’s champion Thunder Rosa in a non-title match. I had a good feeling about this show. I knew our matches would go well, one might say they went too well. 

Just like I said we would Y/n and I both won our matches. Y/n’s match was so good that after the show Tony Khan proposed Y/n a contract. I felt as if I had gone back in time, we were here before, this was her second chance. “I’ll let you think about it, I don’t need an answer right away,” Tony told her. “So, what do you want to do?” I asked Y/n. “I want to take it, this one is even better than the one they offered me three years ago. I really like it here. There is more opportunity, new opponents, and fuck, that paycheck.” I was so proud of Y/n, I wanted her to take that contract and run as far as she could with it. Sure being far away would be hard but this was my turn to take a step back and let Y/n follow her dreams. 

Y/n accepted the contract and made her surprise debut a few months later in October. This time when we sat together in our flat packing everything there were no sad tears. Instead, we savoured the time we had. We were moving on, we were opening a new door, experiencing a new chapter in life and in my gut I knew this would be the best one yet. “I’m going to miss you, Jamie” “I’m going to miss you too Y/n. I’m only one call and one plane trip away” I told her reassuringly. “Yeah except that flight is 14hrs and I’ll be lucky if I can get a direct flight” 

***

Once Y/n left, truthfully I was a mess. I didn’t know what to do with myself, we spent every second of every day together. I would come home and expect Y/n waiting for me with open arms but she never was. Our once-shared flat that used to be filled with colour and life was now cold, dark and dead. All of her things were gone, it felt so empty without her. I didn’t realize it at the time but I had fallen into a deep depression. Every night I lay in bed alone, unable to sleep. I would spend the night staring at the empty space next to me, trying to picture Y/n there but I was unable to do so. We called twice a day but it wasn’t the same, I needed her next to me. Along with being unable to sleep I also couldn't find myself able to eat. I had lost all appetite. Y/n would spend hours making the most delicious foods you could imagine even with being a full-time wrestler. Every weekend we would have people over, but now I had no one. I knew how to cook but all I could get myself to make was toast while I sat in the dark. 

I hated that I felt this way. Y/n was finally getting her break, she was making millions and doing all of these amazing things while I was over here feeling bad for myself. I was still the IWGP champion but I had no motivation to get out of my bed, let alone wrestle. Cowardly I called NJPW headquarters and put in my sick days. I couldn't let anyone see me in such a state. Y/n had been gone for a month but it felt like she had been gone forever, I felt like I had lost her for good. 

One night I was drinking away my sorrows when I heard a loud knock on my door. I couldn't get myself to move off the floor, even if I could I didn’t want to open the door anyways. I wanted to be alone. The knocking wouldn’t stop. Whoever it was wouldn’t leave me alone. “Go away!” I yelled through the door. “It’s me, Riley, come on Jay open up” I wasn’t expecting my best friend El Phantasmo or ‘Riley’ to be on the other side. “Leave me alone Riley” “Don’t make me come in there” I didn’t move. Y/n must have given Riley her keys because he let himself inside, once he spotted me he stopped in his tracks, he looked like he saw a ghost. 

Before I could even say anything Riley cut me off. “Y/n gave me her keys once she left. She wanted me to keep an eye on you. I came over because she said you had been ignoring her calls for days. Not to mention everyone at the Dojo is worried about you, we haven’t seen you in weeks” What was he talking about? Y/n hadn’t been calling me. I checked my phone and did indeed find 30 missed calls and about fifty texts over the past four days. “What’s going on man, you look like shit” “I’m fine, I don’t know what you are talking about” Riley gave me a disapproving look before his phone rang. “Yeah, I’m with him right now. Yes, Y/n he’s alive. No, you don’t need to come over here. I’ll look after him. Okay, yes, I will. I’ll tell him. Now get some rest, it’s late over there. Bye Y/n” I felt ashamed of myself. 

Riley sat down on the ground next to me and asked “What’s going on? Whatever it is you’re going through you can tell me.” “I don’t know Riley. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything, I feel useless. I know this is pathetic of me to say and I will sound selfish but I need Y/n. I’m going crazy without her. I don’t know what’s wrong with me” Riley said nothing, he just let me get everything out. “It’s okay to miss her, Jay. We all miss her but you need to stop relying on her for everything. She’s not always going to be there and hold your hand. You almost made her fly out here Jay.” “Why am I feeling this way?” I asked Riley “Because you love her. I know you know that but you love, love her. I know you have that ring, we picked it out ages ago. If you’re so worried about losing her I think you should think about popping the question. I mean you have been together for the past five years” He was right 

That night I left my flat for the first time in weeks, I forgot what the outside world was like. Riley and I walked around the streets of Tokyo and just talked. It was therapeutic, we went out to eat at Y/n’s favourite sushi place and I knew I couldn't keep living like this. I needed to be a supportive partner, I needed to finish what we started together in Japan. Instead of doing everything with Y/n, I needed to be doing everything for her. I had to be a defending champion for her, I needed to main-event Wrestle-kingdom to prove I could take care of myself. 

I needed to get my life back on track. I didn’t even realize how much I was impacted by Y/n’s departure. I looked sickly, I wasn’t eating or working out. I had lost a decent amount of muscle and looked pale as a ghost. I wasn’t lying when I said I was sick, this was just a different kind of sick. 

***

Instead of sulking, when I missed Y/n the most I would either watch our old matches together or give her a call. I felt bad calling her when I couldn't sleep at 3 am but she reminded me of the time difference. 3 am for me was 5 pm for her but she insisted I call whenever I please even if it’s the middle of the night, so I did just that. This particular evening I was missing her the most, the holidays were soon approaching and I was sad we coudn’t spend them together. “How’s everything going in Japan?” Y/n asked me “It’s alright, I miss you. It’s not the same here without you” I told her honestly. “I know, I’m sorry I can’t be there for Christmas but I have some good news that will make up for it” “What’s that?” I asked curiously “Well, I talked with TK and since I’m working all the holiday shows I can come back to Japan for Wrestle Kingdom!” She said excitedly through the phone. I coudn’t believe what I was hearing. “What’s the catch? There’s always s catch, is it a 24-hour trip?” “Nope, no catch. I asked to do all the Christmas shows so I can come out to see you. I have almost two weeks with you. 13 days, I’ll only miss one week of TV!” “That’s great honeybee, I can’t wait to see you!” “Your main eventing the Tokyo Dome, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” “I love you, Y/n” “I love you too Jay”

​​​​

Those few weeks leading up to the Tokyo Dome went by fast and before I knew it I was reunited with the love of my life. It was weird not having Y/n by my side when I took on Okada in the main event of that year’s Wrestle Kingdom but having her front row cheering me on was just as good. Even though I lost I was grateful that I had Y/n there with me. She was always there when I needed her the most and boy did I need her. We spent the remained of Y/n’s trip to Japan spending quality time together. We made the most passionate love to make up for the time spent away and explored the city we became one with. 

In the back of my mind, I knew my contract was expiring. Y/n knew of this and I know she wanted me to come to AEW but the truth was they didn’t offer me anything yet. I had many offers from other promotions but the one I wanted most simply didn’t exist yet. For the first time in my career, I was scared, scared of what the future held. I never told Y/n my troubles, instead I faced them alone. I agreed to a loser leaves NJPW match with Eddie Kingston and hoped for the best. I lost that match and felt like a failure, Y/n was front row for that match and I’ll never forget the look on her face when I lost. She comforted me after the match and tried to convince me to join her in AEW. I lied and told her they never offered me a contract when in reality they did and I accepted it. “What do you mean? They love you! I’m sure they will offer you a contract, Jay!” I felt bad for lying but I wanted all of this to be a surprise. 

I made my surprise debut in April and although Y/n was mad I didn’t tell her she was happy we were together again. I could have gone anywhere in the world but I needed Y/n by my side. 

I took Riley’s advice and proposed to Y/n. “My heart beats for no one but you. Every day I spent without you killed me. I love you so much Y/n. I would do anything and everything for you. Us being apart for those six months made me realize I coudn’t spend another day without you. Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n, would you marry me?” 

So yeah the real reason I joined AEW was to be with the love of my life, my wife. I’d die without her, my heart beats for no one but her. 

[meowsforyujin]

“I can’t keep doing this” Yang Jeongin ff

Jeongin x fem reader

(Warnings!! Contains: fluff, smut, angst, fwb, best friends to lovers, spanking, demeaning talk, fingering, jealousy)

The feeling of rejection was all too familiar to you, but this one hurt. It’s the FIRST time you’d found someone that piqued your interest other than the man you were hopelessly in love with, but could never be with. 

Lucky for you, you had good friends. One of your closest friends, sophie, decided you invite you to the club with her other friends. 

“The best way to get over being rejected is to act like a total slut and spend the night in someone else's sheets.” 

You decided to invite your best friend Jeongin, who also happens to be your current “fuck buddy”. 

“That way we can both finally find someone that isn’t each other.” was the hardest message to send in your life, but it was your idea anyway. 

Jeongin had been your best friend since middle school, always doing everything together. You and Jeongin were not very popular romantically, to say the least. You both went through the entirety of high school single, no first kiss, no first date, no intimacy, nothing. Until one day, 6 months ago you were both drunk and decided to be each other's first. It was quick to become a pattern, sex with your best friend. The sex was great, great, that’s not the problem. The problem is you’re hopelessly in love with him. That's why this most recent rejection hurt more than usual, it was the only person you actually liked other than jeongin, and that's a problem.  

—time skip—

Jeongin regrets coming immediately. You looked so fucking hot and he couldn’t do anything about that. Tonight’s sole purpose was so that he WONT fuck you. But you’re making it so hard. He shouldn't be mad, he really shouldn't. But you flirting with a guy that wasn't him made his blood boil. The way you smiled when you laughed, that was something he didn’t want ANYONE to cherish other than him. He didn’t want to share. 

.

.

.

You yelp feel your arm being grabbed harshly. 

“Let’s go y/n, were leaving.” 

“Jeongin! What the fuck is your problem?” You try to pull your arm away. 

It's embarrassing how fast you feel your arousal creep up on you when he turns around and gives you a furious look. In that moment you decided it wasn’t worth arguing, not with that gorgeous stupid fucking face of his. 

“Mind telling me what this is about?” You didn't dare look at him.

Jeongin laughed and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. 

What was this about? What WAS his problem? He doesn’t know. 

“Just keep that pretty mouth of yours shut until we get home.”

You walked after him, slowly and nervously. You had absolutely no idea what was in store for you.

“Go strip and get on the bed, hands and knees.”

You blinked at him, frozen in your tracks. Sure, you and jeongin have fucked, LOTS of times, but not like this. He’s never demanded anything from you. You couldn’t complain, the arousal told you this was a good thing. 

You nodded at him before rushing to his bedroom, taking your clothes off as fast as possible. You got on your hands and knees like he asked, but it was so so so nerve wrecking. You were so exposed, you weren’t used to it. 

“I fucking knew it, look at you slut, soaking wet. Bet it wasn’t even for that asshole back at the bar hmm?”

You moaned feeling him smack your ass, something he’s also never done before. 

“Tell me y/n, who are you this wet for? Me or that dickwad from the bar?”

You whined as his hand made light contact with your throbbing cunt, shortly followed by another smack on your ass. 

“You, fuck. You jeongin.”

He hummed in satisfaction, pushing a finger into you. You were already a moaning mess, relishing how his long slender finger made you feel. When he added another one, you subconsciously began pushing back your hips, trying to meet his fingers pace. 

“You gonna cum for me? Like the slut you are?”  

You helplessly nodded, moans getting higher and higher pitched. 

“Say my name.” 

You didn’t have to even think before chanting his name over and over while you finished. It was easy. You forgot everything but him, and you finally had to go ahead to vocalize that. Something about this made your orgasm so much more pleasurable.

He left you with almost no time to come down from your high, before thrusting his dick into you. Your cries filled the room, begging for more. How couldn’t you? He hit you spot so so so deliciously perfect from this angle. 

“This is what you get for making me jealous baby, you should know better. You’re just mine, only mine. No one else can have you.”

You groaned into the pillows hearing his words, too lost in the pleasure to even register everything he was saying. 

–time skip–

You stared at the ceiling, watching the fan as your mind went wild. The things jeongin said just hours ago, finally starting to get to you. You turned to see sleeping jeongin, his arm wrapped around you still. Did he mean what he said? Surely he did because he was jealous of you and the other guy. But he shouldn’t have been. That was the point of going out. In fact, that was the point of this whole “relationship”. You two were simply just placeholders until you found someone else. But no one else wanted you, not even jeongin. He probably only brought you back because he couldn’t find anyone else. After all, you are always the last choice. 

Jeongin woke up to your sniffling, but didn’t find you next to him. Instead, he found you on the floor of the living room, curled up in a ball crying your eyes out. 

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” He went to hug you but you swerved away

“I can’t keep doing this jeongin.”

“You wha, what do you mean?” he searched your face for any kind of answer. Did you mean fucking? Or being friends? All he could tell was that he had never seen you this hurt before.

“I can’t do this to myself anymore, nobody wants me, not even you.”

“What are you saying? I never said that?”

“Save it jeongin. you only took me home because you couldn’t find another girl. I’m always the last option, and I don’t want to be that anymore.”

“Y/n, that’s not true.”

“No! I don’t want to hear it! I’ve been spending 6 whole fucking months trying to get over you, and NOBODY wants me. The rejections hurts. It’s taking a toll on me and I can’t do it anymore.”

“Get over me? What do you mean get over me?”

“Do you really want to know?” You stood so close to him he could see every color in your face from crying, he hated seeing you this sad.

“I’ve been in love with you since the beginning. I THOUGHT the first time we slept together it was because you felt the same way! Do you know how much it hurt? When you told me your “idea” ?”

his idea, the idea that you would sleep together to fill the empty voids you both had.

“I was just a void filler. Nothing else. I can’t do this to myself anymore Jeongin. ESPECIALLY when you send mixed signals by lying, “I’m only yours” and making me feel like MAYBE you wanted me the way I wanted you.” You rushed past him in attempt to leave, but of course, he stopped you.

“I wasn’t lying. And I never said I didn’t want you that way. I only came up with my dip shit ‘idea’ because I thought you only slept with me because you were drunk. I thought you’d be disgusted if you found out I had feelings for you, so I came up with that. Because it let me atleast get a hint of what it would be like to have you as mine. Maybe that’s selfish but I never thought I’d get a chance to experience the real thing.”

Tears were uncontrollably falling down your face, you didn’t want to believe him. What if he was lying? You don’t want to get hurt

“You’re lying, you just want me to stay so you can get your dick wet once in a while. You don’t love me.”

Jeongin eyes softened and filled with tears hearing you say that. How could he make you feel this way? Feel so unwanted.

“How could I not love you? Everytime I see you I feel all my troubles float away. Your smile is my favorite piece of art in the world. Your laugh is my favorite song in the world. I don’t want anyone else to get the privilege of hearing or seeing you ever. I want you all to myself. You’re the one person who knows me better than everyone else. You’re the only one I’d ever want to spend my life with. I love you so fucking much it’s insane, and no it’s not just to get my dick wet. I’d give up sex all together if it meant you’d stay.”

you nearly fell to the floor. You must’ve been dreaming. Jeongin never used words like this, especially when it comes to feelings

“Please stay.” He held your hand with pleading eyes.

It took one slow nod and his face lit up, like he was never even sad in the first place. He pulled you into a warm hug, placing a light, loving kiss on your forehead.

—time skip—

It’s been 2 months since you and jeongin started dating, and you swear you’ve never been happier. You basically live at his place. Most of your clothes are there, much to his dismay. (He’d rather you wear his clothes). To your surprise, jeongin and you didn’t have sex for a month. When you asked him why, he said it was because he wanted to assure you he didn’t just want you for that reason. You felt like melting on the spot from his sweetness, you loved him so much.

Sometimes you and jeongin lie awake at night staring at the ceiling fan, entangled in each other’s arms and just talk. Jeongin often said in times like those that you both were meant to be, there was never anyone else.

“Also, there’s something I should tell you..”

“Yes what is it jeongin?”

“Well, it’s not like nobody ever wanted you…I just threatened everyone to stay away from you or I’d put them in the hospital.”

“YANG JEONGIN YOU WHAT?!”