#but thats another topic

[nanatsuyu]

I feel like it’s not talked about enough that early in the books Kevin is the only person we see Andrew initiating any type of physical closeness/touch with at all … also thinking about how they’re described physically with each other in Son of Nefes like. so much tenderness (@ your tags about how Andrew carries himself around Kevin and Neil)

I definitely think their closeness in the beginning gets overshadowed a lot by how close Andrew and Neil get later in the series. And that's not a diss on andreil! I think it's important to Andrew's character to see that while Neil played a very large part in letting Andrew explore his boundaries and grow comfortable with physical affections, there were others that helped in that healing along the way too.

One of my favourite scenes is the one where Kevin takes his glove off for Andrew to inspect his hand for any damages. It's written in such a way that implies they weren't paying any attention to the rest of the world around them. Matt had been carded, the play was over and a fight had broken out, and during that sliver of time, either Andrew had hailed Kevin over or he'd gone of his own volition to the goal for Andrew to give his injuries a one over. Kevin knew he was going to get swapped out, and they both turned somewhat surprised when Dan called out to Kevin, as if the game being in play was an afterthought. (Which, considering it's Kevin, seems somewhat ooc since he always knows what's going on on court).

And, although we don't have the exact words regarding Andrew's deal with Kevin, it was implied in the most basic terms that Andrew would protect Kevin from Riko. (There's obviously nuance here given Andrew's bodyguard tendencies when Kevin gets into later spats with people, but for the sake of how vague most of Andrew's deals are spoken aloud, I think it's safe to assume he promised to protect Kevin from his big bad not sibling in the same way he promised to have Neil's back). All that just to say... It wasn't really in their deal for Andrew to protect or look after Kevin outside of his affiliations with the Ravens. And yet, even after threatening to break his own hand before all this, because Kevin annoyed the piss out of him so much, here he was, inspecting Kevin's hand and putting the game on hold to do so.

This injury has nothing to do with Riko or the Ravens. So, in terms of their deal, he didn't really need to dote on Kevin like that. And yet.

And yet.

And this is really only one instance of them being glued at the hip. Andrew does a lot of redirecting of Kevin's person in the same way we see him do later with Neil. Like you said as well, Kevin's the only one for some pages that we see Andrew physical with that isn't necessarily reactionary or defensive. I know Andrew was still on his meds at the time, but this line came across to me as him literally shoving Andrew down court who didn't seem to take much issue with the it:

He doesn't make much mention of it, but if I had to wager a guess, these moments of familiar contact are not a new thing upon Neil's arrival.

(Also it's been a hot minute since I skimmed through son nefes (the ec and I are on cherry picking terms most days) but I know Renee saw it too.)

Like it makes me insane to think about how their deal didn't have to incorporate all that closeness. It didn't require Andrew to become intertwined with the rest of Kevin's life and daily going on's. He could have agreed to keep him on a leash from getting dragged out of the fox den by the Ravens and called it a day, but we can see clear as day that Andrew treats his relationship with Kevin far more delicately than that. In terms of canon, the best friend (platonic soul bond or whatever title floats your fancy) behaviour jumped out of Andrew so fast, I'm shocked how anyone could overlook it.

And I haven't even touched on how Wymack views their relationship, or Kathy's show, or the role Andrew plays as Kevin's other half post Evermore, or the first genuine smiles are the ones they give each other, or the pseudo threat of the butter knife scene, or whatever they had going on here:

Like, there are certainly motions that can be considered varying levels of tender, but I do think it's important to remember that Andrew's gestures should not be measured with the same scale as say someone like Renee. We can obviously see in later chapters that Andrew can be incredibly gentle (ie the hip kiss that ruined my life), but I think it's a disservice to Andrew's character to understate how close he and Kevin are through the series, both physically and emotionally.

[jojosito]

I just.... I just think Nagayoshi fgo is really neat, his perspective on the world it's interesting, contradictory sometimes but so engaging, I just love how he's a ruthless killing machine that absolutely enjoys it but at the same time engages in things like poetry and calligraphy, is skilled at resource management ,commanding troops and so on....

Idk, I like him a lot, but I guess that pretty obvious looking at my blog these days flfkfnfj

[genderwoods]

the barbie movie is probably gonna awake a new wave of cishet white women who think femininity is the counterculture and that calling yourself a bimbo is so revolutionary isnt it

[yume-fanfare]

if i had to choose an Agency to produce, it would 100% be cospro. despite how different their idols are, they have a very nice and fun dynamic going on between them, thank you best boss ibara

but i keep going back to rhythm link because it's interesting to think about. it's not an agency that cares for their in-game idols unlike the other 3 that are all about our ES idols. as the oldest agency, they're always doing some other work behind the scenes to force their Other idols to work, often in detriment to our protagonists, even though in ! era they really went out of their way to try to scout hajime. their lack of interest towards ES probably shows through the fact that there are only 3 rhylin units in game when all the other agencies have 4. despite pushing for their old idols to work properly, they still don't seem to be getting with the times and are not quite making enough money. probably because they still keep solo idols as was the trend just before eichi. to what direction are they going to push this to

[thalassomania]

tumblr needs to stop doing this “tumblr.com/(url)” business Right This Instant. every time i click something and it just opens on top of the tumblr dashboard i die a little

[twoants]

guys this is so upsetting so we were having pasta for dinner and my mom offers to get me a bowl. wow, how nice of her you might think and you would be wrong. it was all a trick, a ruse to deceive me into trusting her so she could hit me when i was undefended. she put the sauce before the pasta. and then just acted like it was normal. i am unreasonably upset by this. we’ve all been debating over cereal and milk and this is nearly as bad. nobody has thought about this because it didnt need to be thought of until my mom decided to. why. im never letting her make me a bowl of pasta again. mother why would you do this to me.

[0re]

anon has ideas but is afraid of getting big... theyve seen critical role, a cool project... become corporatized by wotc... they dont want that?? do you have any advice??

This ask is from ages ago and I missed it, I'm so sorry anon!

I don't have useful advice since I don't know what those contract negotiations involve, but nonetheless I hope it hasn't stopped you from creating the thing!

Like, I think your concerns are valid; We Live In A Society™, the entities that have the most influence over what art gets to exist often exert negative control over it (and therefore cultural narratives at large)… but at the same time, it's not something the original creator has no control over. If "getting big" means getting offers from interested parties, it'd be up to you to decide whether or not the tradeoffs are acceptable. You can always hold onto it until a suitable opportunity comes up, right?

[shimmer-lamp]

Have YOU hard of the wonderful dashboard frogs?

Now that I know raven didn't know, I'm gonna randomly ask others too

Nop! Also didnt know

[jinbedreams]

It's been so fascinating to see how strongly people react to Toshiro in Dungeon Meshi. When I first read that scene I didn't feel hurt by Toshiro's rejection of Laois at all, I was more shocked at Laios raising a hand to him in anger because Laios had always felt like a man free from such anger and aggression. Although it was very powerful to see that Laios was capable of feeling such a way. I felt the scene was very emotionally charged and an important moment for both characters.

So when I started hearing about how hurt other people were at seeing Toshiro lash out in frustration towards Laios, and seeing people express discomfort towards Toshiro I was surprised but not confused. Honestly I was more surprised at myself for not having a similar reaction because I have also been subject to being led on in "friendships" that the other person secretly despised (or at least did NOT feel the same). It can be very hurtful to discover that someone has built a resentment towards you but never made any attempt to clear the air with you until a point of crisis.

I am autistic and I struggle a lot with relationships but in this instance I didn't see myself in Laios' shoes (although I have been there) instead I found myself relating to Toshiro. A man trapped by social expectations, rigid rules of engagement hammered into him from a young age, only to discover that there is someone who does not follow these rules at all. Even more bizarrely they seem completely free from any of the consequences that would befall Toshiro if he ever deviated from his carefully cultivated mask.

I can say from experience it is confronting to try and unpack your own high masking trauma while also feeling compelled to support the low masking autistic person in your life. Even if the other person means no ill will and has not truly done anything wrong, having them unknowingly walk all over you can be enough to push you to a breaking point. There is an intense frustration that comes with seeing someone else get away with not following the social rules you have beaten yourself painfully into shape to fit.

Yes Toshiro could have chosen any moment to correct Laios on his name, or clarify his discomfort or his personal boundaries, but that is operating under the assumption that Toshiro feels safe enough to do so. He is a stranger in a strange land, and often in that position it is a safer choice to subject yourself to a level of discomfort simply to keep the general peace. Where my fellow high maskers at? We make biting our tongue a fucking art.

[sprnklersplashes]

"we need more complex female characters" you guys could barely handle lorelai gilmore being slightly uncomfortable around her parents after going through years of subtle emotional abuse in their house

[luyo-mi]

the royals 👑

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

I love Nexus so much.

Well, I love the idea behind Nexus.

A Moon who cared so much he broke himself and forced himself to not care because caring brought him nothing but pain.

However, Nexus wanting to be God is a milk toast boring motivation. It's like saying "I'm evil because I'm evil." Do better tsams please I beg lol

[public-trans-it-deactivated20240]

i was a trans man until after a lot of build up of doubting myself, i finally realized that we are putting ourselves further into boxes by not accepting that we are the biological sex that we are and we can do WHATEVER we want at the same time.

clothes and makeup and certain interests do not equal gender.

and not liking being a woman is an unfortunately natural symptom of puberty and/or experiencing society’s deeply ingrained misogyny. and everyone deserves support for those problems.

but we can all fight together against gender social constructs in a healthy way without prescribing people hormones and invasive cosmetic surgery to make them more like the sex they “should” be according to… social constructs…. and help them be comfortable in who they are

Alright. Its been like 9 fucking months that I have been staring down this ask. What better time than to give TERFs some nuance than right in the middle of a fucking hate campaign going on where people (well... singular person probably) are calling me a TERF. This wont backfire.

This post arrived in my inbox shortly after I made another post about gender, and just how fucking weird it can be, and how I genuinely believed every single person on this planet has a fascinating relationship with gender, and so much nuance and personal identity in theirs. Even cis people. Even TERFs. In the tags, I even begrudgingly encouraged TERFs to talk about their gender on that post if they wanted. I genuinely think that TERFs do have really cool relationships with gender. As I mentioned in those tags, the quickest way to explode a group of TERFs is to get them to start talking about their own relationships with gender, and see how vastly different it is, and watching them stab each other in the back over it. So I told them to ramble away about how they view gender, as long as they stayed the fuck away from the rest of the blog WHICH THIS ANON CLEARLY FUCKING IGNORED.

But... this anon does bring up another topic I want to talk about.

Detransition.

Read More

I am a huge supporter of detransitioning. This is... surprisingly... not a very common stance in the trans community, and it breaks my fucking heart. Like, I get it. I understand why. A LOT of detransitioners, like the person in this ask, end up weaponizing their feelings of gender against other trans people.

My support of transition comes from the intersection of two very central beliefs of mine:

Everyone should explore their gender without feeling a need to commit! This is a pretty common belief in the trans community! Damn near universal in fact! We even have a fun little term we use for people who decide to play around with gender, only to end up a bit closer to where they started and being perfectly happy with that: Cis+. Someone who is cis, but at least put in the work to understand the trans experience, and actually CHOOSE to remain Cis instead of just defaulting to it with societal pressure. Many trans people are much more comfortable around 'Cis+' people, because they know these are people who have taken the time and put in the work of being an ally. Self examination isn't easy, especially not publicly, and doing so is genuinely one of the strongest ways a Cis person could ever show their support.

It is never too late to transition. This is also a pretty common belief in the trans community! It is... sadly not quite as universal though. But it is something very important that needs to be said. You could be 80 years old, sitting in a retirement home, and go "You know what? I think I'd rather wear a dress and be treated like a lady. I don't want to be buried as a man." And I think every single trans person should have that freedom!

I was discussing this with @thydungeongal the other day, far more paraphrased than this post, and she said something incredible that has been knocking around in my head ever since.

"Gender is an ongoing process"

Those five words they said to me sum up my feelings far more than this entire post could. Gender IS an ongoing process. My gender has changed SO MUCH over the past three decades. From the straightjacket of assigned gender that I was once forced into; to the very stylish and still lovable finely tailored suit of femininity that grew a little too stuffy to wear constantly, even though I do still enjoy it and try it on from time to time; to the wonderful and freeing losely fitting clothing of being aegogender, finally feeling free to be myself and just act naturally and feel natural without having to keep up an appearance!

And I think, there is no length of time you can try out being trans, and trying out new genders, before eventually coming to the realization you were cis all along. Even if you started HRT. Even if you got SRS. Heck, I don't even think you should have to call yourself trans to do either of those things in the first place, why would I be upset that someone did them and then realized they weren't trans? No single moment in your life should EVER lock your gender in place into some unchanging, set in stone thing.

So I support detransitioners completely, with my entire heart. They deserve just as much support as every other 'Cis+' person out there.

So anon, while many people may hate you and lash out at you for detransitioning, I want you to know, that I am not one of them. It sounds like your detransition might have been forced by peer pressure, which is heart breaking to hear. No one should ever force their own gender expectations on another. I hope that wasn't the case. I hope you came to the decision yourself, after realizing whats right for you. I will never give you hate for your detransition.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY GIVE YOU HATE FOR BEING A FUCKING TERF THOUGH. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WITH GENDER DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLICE THE GENDER OF OTHERS, FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

[phanyaoi]

i was thinking a bit about how poeple say phannies outside tumblr are not so enthusiastic of phannies talking about the idea of phard launch, which is honestly weird(?) to me. because when i say "hard launch" i mean them finally being comfortable with who they are, similarly to "basically im gay" dropping. even dan said in that vid that by this time almost everybody knew he wasnt straight. and same here, we know theyre not "just friends" so im not waiting for an announcement, bc they dont owe us anything, i just want them to feel comfortable (like even play couples version of some games or be generally more affectionate?)

but another part of it is that i still see people 100% convinced theres nothing between them. and every time i do and see some people get mad at "phan shippers", i once again think about what dan said in BIG. even skipping over the "companionsthroughlife, actualsoulmates" thing, he literally called them "obviously more than just romantic". how can anybody think that there was absolutely nothing between them ever after that?

and unfortunately, i think it might be caused by some sort of homophobia. because if dan was a cis girl calling a guy her "more than just romantic soulmate" there would probably be absolutely no doubt about their feelings. if someone expects every gay couple to stand up and announce to the world that they are "officially together" (which is fucking stressing to do in front of a huge audience!! and again, dan adressed it in BIG. and also they talked about how confusing and problematic labels can be), instead of just living their lives together, its fucking weird. <3

[enden-k]

screaming but the s is silent

[mikuyuuss]

Even though it's canon that Makomo never actually met Sabito and Giyuu while she was still alive, I love how many people (including me) still pretend that they are a trio regardless. The vibes are just too strong.

But it makes me think though, if Gotouge may have originally intended for them to be a trio, but maybe scrapped the idea when they realize there's no hint of Makomo in Giyuu's design, except just having a slightly similar hairstyle.