#but the Main Story of the game is so... blah to me. like. ok. blah.

[potatoesandsunshine]

fallout four is the most 'could've been' game in my mind. all the pieces are there. oh but the plot...

[crguang]

ok, so, I wasn’t sleeping bc I probably just have insomnia, possibly my depression, and also I’d just moved in to my dorm and I suck at sleeping in new places, lol, dw tho I slept for like most of the weekend and I’ve been sleeping regularly this week.

I honestly forgot that we don’t actually know wtf the stellaron hunters are actually doing , line they literally could just be lying abt everything. Actually none of them even say anything except Kafka , blade has his own thing going on, silver wolf is usually behind the scenes fucking around and firefly just didn’t say a thing , like come on, TB didn’t even think to ask anything, there was that dreamscape pass thing of whatever it’s called and the quote from 2.3 is like “Once, we dreamed of being strangers.Upon waking up, we realized we had always loved each other.” Which I assume is abt TB and firefly, and I do kind of wish we got some more stuff about TB’s past with the stellaron hunters, especially since firefly was so important, but it’s whatever. I am actually kind of interested in the script, what Elio tells them to say, and the stuff they’re just making up as they go. Especially since firefly’s script for penacony was just a few words (also firefly said she was part of the iris family the acting/performing one bc she carries out scripts). And Kafka was told was to tell TB during her interrogation abt what they’re doing on the Luofu, but I’m not sure if she’s just lying after that 😭Kafka has some explaining to do when she comes back very soon, in the main story.

hsjajsmskdmnx the arrests on the Luofu are so silly tho, especially since jing yuan pardoned her so she’s not technically wanted there anymore BUT I STILL WANT HER even tho she’s literally worth almost 11 billion by the IPC. The IPC stuff kind of bothers me tbh, they’re not the government, but also they’ve got a fair amount of authority, I feel like pardoning the stellaron hunters wouldn’t be allowed, like I don’t understand how Jing yuan did that without getting in trouble 😭 especially with the most wanted one. And topaz APPARENTLY doesn’t know who the stellaron hunters are, in her voice line abt them she said she didn’t know who they were but they had a good credit score ITS KAFKAS CREDIT SCORE SHES THE ONE W THE CARD and like it’s funny bc that means Kafka registered it under her actually name, and no one cares. Like it would’ve been funnier if she said like the wanted criminals, the ones who blah blah blah, but they have a good credit score. And jade knew exactly abt firefly and the other stellarom hunters, and even tho they’re different ranks topaz should know them. Especially considering the fact that they’re pretty infamous, ig I shouldn’t be nitpicking especially since march literally says when in Rome one time, but whatever.

sorry for ranting 😭 hope you’re doing ok!

-🌠

hope you’re doing a bit better!! insomnia is a bitch, make sure to take care of yourself as much as u can <3

i totally agree with you on the stellaron hunters not revealing anything, i dont really expect them to since we’re still quite early in the game timeline wise but it’s a bit disappointing for the TB to have gotten close to firefly and she never alluded to them knowing each other before, especially when the game’s marketing was pushing romantic implications between them😭 and the trailblazer’s “idgaf” mentality is a bit annoying because i get wanting to move forward and not wanting to be burdened by the past but not being curious at all is… weird. even march, who was repeatedly told not to look into her past, got upset about it at some point. and in the TB’s case, their connection with the stellaron hunters is actively shaping their present/future, so it’s not like they gain nothing from asking a few questions. kafka was the one who encouraged them to get some information from her when they were alone by playing truth or lie, like they don’t care😭 it’s annoying cause i wanna knowwww. a big missed opportunity with firefly imo, we could’ve gotten a pattern of learning a little bit about the trailblazer on every planet they stop by and it’d have been nice. instead all i get is trashcan and raccoon jokes like oh brother are we 8. i wonder what the script actually says, the SH says he always tells the right future but from what we know , it feels super vague. “experiencing 3 deaths” “finding the stellaron in a non-physical way” is not precise at all like how do they even carry those orders😭 no wonder they have liberty to do lots of stuff during missions, there’s barely anything in the damn script

about jing yuan, he’s general of the luofu and the xianzhou has its own regulations and criminal law, the ipc has no control over how they treat their prisoners and their bounties dont really matter to the xianzhou unless they want the money LMFAO, so the ipc has no jurisdiction to punish jing yuan for letting the SH get away. not to mention that the alliance and the ipc have trade agreements and stuff, so their relationship would be damaged and the ipc wouldnt benefit from that. at the end of the day they’re a corporation, they don’t really care for justice.

what bothers me is TOPAZ. IT MAKES NO SENSE. she’s a stoneheart in the same division as jade, sure jade is more cunning and always looking for opportunities to make profits but not knowing them at all is so ridiculous and unrealistic fr. they’ve broken into pier point like twice and that’s her place of work😭😭😭😭😭😭 no way she never heard anything about it to not form an opinion on them. i feel like giving her a voiceline about them was just for the credit score joke which also makes zero sense because why would any of them pay taxes to the corporation that wants them dead or imprisoned. how would the ipc even know which credit card is theirs and why are they doing nothing about it like its so stupid… herta froze all of silver wolf’s accounts cause she was feeling petty but youre telling me the ipc is monitoring their credit scores?.. like im not going to lie i dont take the ipc seriously at all. silver wolf was literally participating in a tournament they sponsored and they just let her compete. like that girl was on the big screen with people cheering her on… for a company that would benefits from civilians fearing/hating the SH, they really dont give a fuck. once again it lowers the stakes and makes the story less exciting for me, and in general it’s inconsistent and weird narration wise to approach heavy themes while simultaneously making a joke of everything. if that makes sense 😭 like the tonal shifts are always very harsh and out of place, it’s one of the things i hate the most about hsr. having the trailblazer crack a stupid joke when everyone’s super serious (which often gets them ignored by dan heng or makes march’s face turn unimpressed, or has her tell them now isnt the time) is starting to annoy me like we get it they’re dumb as rocks omg. when cocolia died at the end of the belobog mission and march’s first words were “well! what an adventure!” in front of bronya hello?!? having no tact in actual serious situations isnt endearing to me like u can just keep ur mouth shut atp

anyway sorry i ranted i guess i needed that off my chest HDJFKFKG

[paradox-time]

@basil-does-arttt

Heeeeyyyy, thanks for giving me an excuse to ranttt <3<3

Ok so, I saw a post of yours that was something like "what about gortash do fans find appealing?”

I'm going to try my best to answer why some of us are fans of this Absolute Shitbag (pun intended)

Some of my credentials, I've played the game for over 700 hours over about 4 months, seen, made, and interacted with tons of fan content and talked about it at length with other fans and unwilling friends. I make it my job to know every single scrap of Lore the game has to offer, going to stupid lengths to read all the books and letters hidden throughout the game, I also savescum the hell out of dialog options so I don't miss any exposition. I've played a tav twice and a dark urge 8 times, plus started but never finished other origin playthroughs.

Safe to say. I am deranged. (Yay hyperfixation)

Anyway, Enver Gortash is one of my favorite villains in fiction. This does not, in any way, mean that I admire or excuse any of his actions. I don't find him handsome or charming. He isn't redeemable or even likable in any capacity as a person.

The entire main theme of the game is whether or not the characters perpetuate the cycle of abuse or break it. You see that with Astarion, he either kills Cazador and forges his own future as a freed spawn, or ascends, and becomes someone who is just as bad and abusive as Cazador. You see it with Shadowheart in whether she chooses to live a life under Shar's cruel influence, or leave her past behind her and embrace Selúne. You see it in Gale and whether he ascends to Godhhood and is nothing like the kind and inquisitive person he once was, or leaves Mystra and his life as an archmage behind to live a life of quiet comfort where he can follow his passions and teach people like he should have been taught instead of isolating students like how mystra and elminster isolated him.

Many more examples blah blah blah

Ok, a lot of people (wrongly) try to justify and apologize for everything gortash has done by pointing at his backstory like a gotcha thing.

Gortash's parents sold him into slavery when he was very young to pay off their debts. The person who then raised and owned Gortash was none other than the ultimate slimeball, Raphael the Cambion. In this environment, Gortash grew incredibly bitter and started to worship Bane, the god of Tyranny, Dictatorship, Strife, and Subjugation. This was because he believed he was owed power over others for everything he was put through. He then becomes a slave trader, selling Karlach to Zariel is one notable example, a war profiteer and arms dealer, he keeps the families of his prisoners held hostage in an underwater prison that was rigged to explode and then subsequently flood if any of his factory staff tried to escape. His workers were also made to wear fucking bomb collars. He sews bigotry in the general public by not letting refugees in the city and controlling the media (newspapers and posters). His entire goal and religious doctrine is founded on the belief that it is his divine right to control and oppress people.

It has been so freaking long since I've found a piece of media that had an actual villain, but still kept said villain's story and motives interesting! Lots of modern media really tries to go the formulaic propaganda villain route. “Character A wants to do the right thing. Character B wants to do the right thing but does it in a BAD and DiSrUpTiVe way!! Gasp!! Villain!” I think it's supposed to endorse and enforce moral superiority of centrists, yuck. but that's a Different Tangent™.

I feel like there are a lot of fans that think that in order to like a character, they have to be morally palatable and pg or whatever. I see lots of fans that can't fathom liking a character that is genuinely evil and a bad person. So they just. Ignore the entire central point of the character.

Gortash sucks ass. If I met him in real life I would beat his ass into the dirt. But he isn't real. And fiction, especially interactive fiction, is an amazing way to explore darker themes in a safe and controlled environment. This is amazing for dozens of reasons, including exploration of catharsis.

I like Gortash because he amazing as a Villain. His story is super connected to the themes of the game. His acting is done with so much care and talent from the production team at Larian.

Fans who fawn over and woobify him. Umm. Do better. Get media literate please. No hate, love all the gortash content, especially in relation to the Dark Urge's story line. But please stop pretending he isn't as bad as he is. That's one of the main things I find compelling about him as a story device in the first place. You can like evil characters because they're fake.

Ummm conclusion…. Yeah. I like Gortash because he makes a fun story.

[redswaberkez]

TELL ME ABOUT ERLICH PLEASE, i thought about just replying to your reply on my post, but i figure an ask is better for this kind of request >:)

OOOOFFFFF cultural oc exchange ehehehe

disclaimer: my ocs lore is hellaaaaa messy and unstable. Nobody knows their story. Me neither LMAOO. So i perfer to look at the story like at rpg game with diff endings and stuff like that

Ok lesssgoo

FIRST his name pronunciation IS A FUCKING MESS. Everyone struggling with it: and in the ocs story and in real life. By design Erlich's name is pronounced with ch on the end like küche. Now we can go on. He is from Germany, yeah

The setting is in 2060-2099 i.e. basic the nearest cyberpunk to us. Where its always raining, anti-utopian, where you live in a Big City but in a ditch eating ants drinking benzin and etc etc. you got it.

Erlich's early life was neither tough nor easy. On the edge between living and surviving. His mother (name's Agnia) is a scientist, so he spent most of his time in labs and watching how "progress being created" or at home, where he tried to create his own silly little machines and mechanisms. Maybe hes schizospec. Maybe im just projecting my shit onto him (yea i do). We Will Never Know KDSLJFLSDFJ

Ofc his mechanic skills was not that bad for someone who just graduated from school (17-18 yrs). *blah-blah* and ofc later corpos will notice Erlich and his mech skills (not w/o mothers help tho). "Wow, succeeded in life, working in a prestige corp, and not fucking around in the junk" seems fair for cyberpunk setting imo

time flies, Erlich now is 23-26 yrs, THEN BOOM 💥💥💥💥 the main introduction plot. Big Corporate Boss assault, corporation collapse, OFC BRAINWASHING, massive staff reduction (he and his mother werent fired, they are valuable personnel).

What the assault you say? How it affected him? He was one of the main gears in the assaultion, with Agnia in the lead of it. Erlich even installed spinal augmentation and evolved from twink to himbo for this measures. Assault was done with the precision of a jeweler in the most chaotic situation. Only few knew that it was caused by them. And nobody knew it was Agnia's mindgame and brainchild.

What the brainwashing??? 'ignorance is bliss' - Agnia thought and decided not to burden Erlich with knowledge of what they had done. So he can live his life without endless regret. She had her motive

(i support women's wrongs tho. nobody is perfect or only good or evil.)

Few days after the assault he meets Mirrow in the medical bay. She was a bodyguard of one buisnesswoman (doesnt matter for the lore anymore). Mirrow was seriously injured and lost her arms while protecting The Lady. Erlich and Agnia saved her, bc Mirrow basically innocent and they didn't need extra sacrifices. So they saved her, installed new arms for her and while she was being rehabilitated, she became very friendly with Erlich (clueless and brainwashed) and said that she would like to find the person responsible for the assault. Now Mirrow attracted Agnia's attention and she decided to keep Mirrow in her line of sight.

Then the long separation of Erlich (to finland to russia) from Agnia (to america) due to corpos collapse. And reunion later to find the "the evil one in the charge".

(LITERALLY HIIIM)

Agnia's mindgames arent over yet (unfortunately) and now she needs to remove the trace from herself by "leading the capture of the culprit". and here comes rpg-ish quests and etc

Erlich knows that he somehow involved in the assault but he doesnt remember ANYTHING. And he blames himself for it. Real hard. Thinks, that he useless

Later he secretly tries to create the machine that "will help retrieve the hidden memories". Everyone was stopping him from its creation but ykno.) Overvaluated idea)

Running its tests was frying his (already once fried) mind. And at one moment it just gives a power surge, and Erlich remembers everything for a moment, but burns out and dies. BIG UNLUCKY REST IN PEPE

[papermint-airplane]

Sims poll #2

I had a couple of people tell me they liked the idea of weekly Sims community polls so I figured I'd test the waters and see if people are still interested after they get a load of the stupid question I have this week.

But first, let's look at the results from last week's question. Way more people participated than I was expecting!

Results:

12.5% like referencing the tropes in the game i.e., the Sims are aware they're characters in a Sims universe, reference their plumbob, reference game mechanics, etc. I'm surprised by this because I thought there would be more! The Sims is a franchise with a very strong brand identity that we all know and love, so I definitely thought more people would work those tropes into their stories! It's ok, fellow trope-referential storytellers, there are dozens of us. 😭

37.7% think of their Sims as normal humans in human reality.

40.9% do both, occasionally referencing some of the more lighthearted aspects of the game for a joke every once in a while but for the most part, keep it grounded in reality.

8.9% were just here to see the results. Or they just wanted the serotonin hit from clicking on a poll. I get it. I don't judge you.

Now onto this week's poll!

Reblog for a bigger sample size blah blah blah.

Happy Simming!

[bbq-potato-chip]

HI HAI HOPE IM NOT TOO LATE FOR TH ASK GAME BUT ✨ your silly lil green guy. yknow the one. ulquiorra. please please tell me about him ive been spectating from afar and i need to know abt him so bad. as silly or as serious as you want, say anything, ijust wanna hear abt him from a certified Appreciator(tm). be free :]

Aaaaaag!!!!! SHAKING FOAMING AT THE MOUTH !!!!

At last I am enabled HE IS MY FUNNY LITTLE GREEN GUY AND I LOVE HIM I am honored to be chosen as a certified appreciatior ANYWAY SO UM let me just explain like. What he is rlly quick because there are so many different types of guys in the whole bleach world

you have humans, who live in the world of the living and souls (dead people) who also live in the world of the living and then you have hollows which are like corrupted souls that the soul reapers gotta defeat to get them to love on to the next life (which is in the soul society)(the soul reapers also live there)(the soul reapers are also dead people)(it’s like a whole reincarnation thing)

the hollows live in this other dimension called hueco mundo they look like this (the guy on the left- hollows are more “monster-y” looking whereas arrancars are more human looking but they still have the holes where their hearts should be-hence the term hollow)

So these guys called arrancars (that’s what ulquiorra is!!!) they’re hollows that have been modified to be kind of…like a cross between a soul reaper and hollows because they have swords (soul reaper thing) but are also hollows. Basically like. You have a bear and your like let me give that bear a gun. Like that. The main antagonist is responsible for all that for reasons™️ but that’s a whole other thing in it of itself. But yeah he’s like an an evil henchmen.

but onto greater, more important things

ok completely on a surface level his charcter design is like. 10/10

I don’t know much abt charcter design but since his colors are limited he really like stands out (it’s part of the reason why I think kny characters have such good designs because they stick to the two main color plus accent color)

He’s mostly black n white with accents with green which is just so striking and the green tear makeup is just *chefs kiss* PLUS the combination of the traditional Japanese hakufu pants combined with the almost (not rlly sure how to put it) like European tail coat kind of deal he’s got going on really is such an interesting combination of two different cultural fashions. Ichigo (the guy on the right) has kind of a similar deal going on with the pants and the more western looking tuxedo looking deal and they’re design are supposed to Parallel each other for thematic reasons but PERSONALLY I think ulquiorra does it way better . But idk Maybe I’m biased!!

And there’s his other powered up forms which are just so cool

He’s so edgy. I love him this slaps so hard I cannot deny he’s so creaturecore

ok so now. Plot stuff

so basically his whole deal is that he’s a nihilist. Throughout his appearance he’s always like oooh nothing matters I don’t care blah blah blah despite the fact that he has emo make up. He does NOT put the emotion in emo. (Which, at least my impression of emo is about wearing emotions on your sleeve. I don’t know much abt emo as like a whole but if anyone has any like critique on my definition please let me know I’d love to learn more) My man is emo in style but is like yeah whatever I don’t feel emotions I don’t have a heart I’m not human don’t think of me as a human I’m a logical emotionless creature yadayada.

it’s such an interesting design choice to me because it really highlights how…hypocritical his worldview is. As the story goes on you can see his whole nothing matters deal kind of crack, towards his finally battle we see him get angry and surprised and then (spoiler alert) love right before he dies.

And you really can’t talk about ulquiorra without talking about orihime.

orihime was kidnapped basically by orders of the main antagonist because she has powers that he needs for reasons™️. It’s kind of a long explanation why so I’ll just leave it at that. But the whole reason Orihime is there was because she loves her friends, and she goes over to the side of the enemy because she didn’t want her friends to get hurt (basically the “bad guys” were like come with us or we’ll kill your friends and she was like. Well I guess I have to go because I love my friends) which is like the complete opposite of ulquiorra because he’s all like whatever friendship love and bonds are all bull. But as he interacts with her he gets (upset?curious? Not sure of the wording) about what it means to have a heart (or a bond with another person really). I just love how as we move through the arc we see him gradually more humanized, partly as a result of orihime being all like. You’re wrong things DO matter but also because he IS human in a way.

specifically there’s a scene in his backstory one shot where orihime catches him sleeping and brings him food and it just shows that yeah maybe he’s not technically a regular guy but he gets sleepy and needs a little snack!!! He’s grumpy about it but I just love how it portrays him in such a different way than we usually get to see him. (He’s embarrassed he’s so funny. “Ooooh I take naps and eat snacks 🙄so embarrassing” He’s so silly)

As he talks to orihime throughout this arc he gets CLOSER to understanding as his whole nothing matters deal keeps getting shut down by her when he tries to convince her that nothing matters. But he really doesn’t GET it until right before his death when he realizes what “the heart” is. Because orihime showed him humanity and kindness he’s like oooohhhh I get it now. But at the last second which just is so…cries

anyway. He finally realizes what it means to care about something as he dies and it’s so tragic because this is the first time he’s ever felt anything and now he’s going to die reaching out to her. It’s probably THE most tragic anime scene I’ve ever watched it kills me literally Everytime I watch it screaming crying throwing up. You know the deal!!!

Then after that whole arc is finished the author published this art . And look at him. He’s so silly look at him

Anyway. *does jazz hands 👐 * that’s my guy!!!

!!!

Also!!! Fun facts(tm)

-Ulquiorras name was based off of Spanish architect and the castle that he lives in is based off of abstract Spanish architecture . Which I just think is really neat

-His birthday is on December 1!!!

-i just think he’s neat!!!

Anyway thank you so much for the ask I am so sorry this took forever to respond to I jus have SO many thoughts and typing on my phone takes FOREVER anyway I hope I did him justice!!!

[bearpillowmonster]

I  was actually going to post something about this last night but events kept unfolding and changing the narrative so I’m going to break it down. Long story short, I fell for it. That’s right lads, I joined a dating site. 

So, I created an account without much interest involved, mainly curiosity and speculation. Came across a few good ones that I did reverse searches on only to find that they’re instagram profiles someone stole. I expected as much, oh well. But then I get a message to me, from a cute girl at that, and we start talking. Everything seemed to line up as far as her being real, I mean she had the name and face that matched her online presence. She even sent pictures that I wasn’t able to find. I weighed my options and decided I was willing to take the risk, I send her my number and-

Sign 1: Two numbers text me at the same time, the same thing. Oh, boy. I bring this up immediately and it’s kind of just shrugged off. The other one didn’t answer and I know the other was her, the number even looked legit, right area code, everything. We talk more and I see another number text me. 

Sign 2: I don’t give out my number and for it to be so close to this happening is either on the website’s messages being compromised or she isn’t who she says she is. I left this one alone with bringing it up, but internally, I start freaking out. This number said they were someone entirely different and just “had me in their contacts” ok, sure, they even sent a picture rerouted to- A popular tiktoker, ladies and gentlemen. They probably have people do this to them all the time. Gave them the chance to make a case- Block. 

I do some more research, check the dating profile again and wouldn’t you know it that her messages are gone. So, I start asking the girl questions pertaining to her Facebook. “You ever been here before?” not trying to set alarms for them just yet but I just wanted to trip them up and really, she passed. I ask about the messages thing and she wasn’t convinced, then she checked. At this point, I had already deleted my dating profile to just avoid further damage. She then tells me that the account got suspended. Huh, oh mee, oh my. I actually get on FB and message the real girl and am like “here’s the scoop, someone’s using your identity, blah, blah blah.” It says seen but there’s no way to really know if you’re not friends with them, I sent photo proof but whatever, I was getting over it, trying to dominate the situation. 

Okie-dokie, face-time me, that will settle this once and for all, you can’t very well agree when you know- She said ok...ok. She calls but nothing happened, like no voice, no video. “It didn’t work. Bad reception.” Same old song and dance. So, it’s time for the nail in the coffin, the final stroke, Facebook. If the Facebook is real and the two coincide then we have a match, I was disconnected at this point, I thought I’d be devastated in a way but I surprisingly sort of let my insane side take over, whatever game you play, I’m gonna play it back and I’m about to uproot your whole operation while I’m at it. You can’t claim not to have a Facebook when it’s right there, same face, same name and if you do, then friend me. Easy. “Ok, add me.” Huh? What is this, confidence? Ok?  Also, Messenger has a facetime that works better, at least imo.

Well, I already messaged her on my account except, I don’t use my real name on my account. So, I wasn’t sure how deep this was going to go, I thought about using one of my alts but for some reason FB doesn’t like that and just kept logging me back into my main, whatever, haven’t used those in forever anyway, I guess they’re lost now. So, I make a new profile with the information I have already given, no friends but hey, whatta you gonna do. I tell her I sent the request. It’s this morning and no add but I have some texts, yeah, from 4 in the morning, like wtf, so I ask what’s up with the Facebook. Nothing yet, will update with a new post if need be.

I slept maybe 4 hours total last night between this in my head, and I couldn’t breathe. Not having my pills has that gas that I was talking about mixed with the heat, I had the humidifier on, didn’t work. I turned it up. Nothing. I turned the fan on. Nothing. I turned the fan up. Nothing. Like come on! I can’t get comfortable. So I decided not to use too much effort with this like I was going to, I’ll leave it up to be balanced on its own accords. One of the weird things when we were talking is that she’d say “Good” a lot, even if it didn’t apply. A yes or no question, “Good”. Major red flag, as I’ve harassed these types of accounts before. Some so long that they changed people in between so one had no recollection of any conversation like it was a freaking program where they used the same dialogue. That time, I knew they weren’t real though. I was worried this would affect me and my shell because it took a long time for me to get to this point but then I shook hands with myself after feeling a job well done saying that i wont let this champion me, I have to champion it. I feel like I did everything right, there wasn’t a whole lot I could do to predict or prevent that under those circumstances. I’m normally very cautious with that stuff but I knew I also had to be more open in order to get it back. Whatever their goal was, I don’t really care, I shouldn’t care at least, there’s nothing to justify it, I didn't nose into it before I got permission, that Facebook was only after I started really suspecting something was wrong.

[mymarifae]

ok so deltarune is game and probably won’t ever get to summer but like imagine just for a moment- like what would they do, that would be like there first time leaving ralsei and the others for like a quite a bit amount of time like how would ralsei handle that

and like yeah kris and susie could probably just like ‘break‘ in with toriels keys but still just the thought of it

oh, like. what will happen to castle town once summer vacation hits?

hm. okay so first we have to assume that castle town will like, remain. once the story is all said and done.

which! is exactly what i've been doing because the other possibilities make me sad <333333 blah blah blah the rest of deltarune happens literally who cares about any of that. and castle town stays intact in that random school closet and it's still like. just the kids' secret no one else in hometown knows about it. somehow. whatever magic amirite?

i think there's a discussion to be had, because as far as i can tell, kris and their classmates are either juniors or seniors. i'm leaning towards juniors. college is very close. everyone's going to start moving away, into distant city dorms - they're going to start working; they're going to start laying the foundations for the rest of their lives.

ralsei has just gained these friends, but... they've got their own lives to pursue now, you know? hometown is much too small for their big souls. i do think the main 4 - kris, susie, noelle, and berdly - will all eventually return to and choose to stay in hometown, or very nearby if nothing else, but like.... they've gotta get out there! they need to experience the larger aspects of the real world; they can't stay tethered to the fantasy realm in the old supply closet at their old high school

this is going to be one of their biggest lessons in canon as well, not just my made-up version that i'm writing to keep myself sane while i wait for the rest of the game, i'm sure. it's not going to be an easy one.

but i think it's a challenge that they'll be ready to face at the end of it all. it's a little more difficult because it's not really like they can do discord calls with ralsei and lancer in the dark world, but they all have a very special kind of connection, and it won't fade with time. there won't be frequent visits, but there will be visits. susie and noelle, who have been married for half a year btw, announce that they're going on vacation to idk, oregon, but really they're just spending 2 weeks in castle town. they have rooms there after all~

(and as far as getting inside goes, yeah just steal toriel's keys. or susie and kris are just like really excited at the prospect of physically breaking in somewhere so they go that route. and when they're even older, i've settled on susie becoming a teacher at hometown high so they Still have keys. and they don't have to steal them! [that's not as fun, though, is it...])

i think it's important for ralsei to learn that he has value on his own and he doesn't need his lightner friends to be like. a person. he's already a person. he's going to be just fine, whether it's summer vacation or it's everyone's first semester away at college.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Sidequests are part of the story so it’s still my ballpark shut up it’s time for

Read Part 1 here!

Part 2 || Part 3

If you’re on mobile, and tumblr hates this post, follow along on this google doc!

Rules/overview this rewrite in the beginning of Part 1

- - - - - - - - - - 

Side quests, side quests, side quests. What are they? And what are they doing here, on an Age of Calamity rewrite? I must admit, game design is not an inherent forte of mine, and I like to think that my only “expertise” would be on writing and storytelling. So what the fuck is a fool like me doing here

Well my dear ladies, lads, and gentlefolk, if your memory does serve, I did say that the format of Age of Calamity was one that served the major plot and story beats for it’s cutscenes, and its worldbuilding and good parts of it’s character development for its gameplay and side quests. It’s actually a concept that can be seen in shows and movies too, although obviously it’s origins are in TTRPGs and videogames. Definition wise, a side quest is any deviation from the main story and plot that serves to flesh out an optional/overseen aspect of the game. So there’s out perfect outlet for worldbuilding, characters, and even a bit of humour. Side quests, by definition, can’t simply be just XP grinders, because otherwise you could…..just make an XP grinder. It’s like saying you’re getting your kids a bike, but then you get them a stationary exercise one. Sure it’s functionally the same and gives the same benefits, but it could be so much more. 

Does Age of Calamity have good side quests? I’d actually argue, yes. I mean sure, it’s not exactly gonna hold a candle to Fallout or Witcher 3, but there are great memorable side quests that do serve their purposes in this game. 

A fan favourite is “The So-Called Knight,” in which Link spars Mipha, Teba, Sidon, and Revali, a conflict of the Sidon’s confidence and belief in Link, with Revali’s skepticism and grudge against him. Not only is it great fandom content, but it explores the carrying POVs of several characters in a fun way. We also have Hestu’s Dance Competition, and the Miss Vai Battle Pageant. What they lack in serious character tone, they make up for in humour and world building. Even the quests that have nothing to do with the main cast of characters, like the Questionable Escort Mission, still provide funny and interesting details about the world, like how the Yiga Clan is still ever persistent in trying to take down Link with monsters and Windcleavers alike. 

It’s not like those side quests were functionally useless either, all of them still provided great amounts of exp and materials. What specifically made them great and memorable was their small little stories and character/world details. Of course, that’s not to say you can’t have the occasional plotless boss rush every now and again, those are fun in their own right and it’s good to have variety. But just thinking about it...what were everyone’s least favourite sidequests? The timed Yiga Escape?  The ones where you sit around defending strongholds? The one hit death Hair-Width Trials? Ah...so all the least enjoyable side quests were the ones that were difficult, with no enjoyable character or worldbuilding to back it up….interesting interesting….interesting pattern indeed. 

So, let’s improve the game a bit further. I do need to pace out my future character arcs somehow. I tried to make use of the existing quests where I could, but it’s just eaaaasier to just not think about it and do it from scratch. Just shove these in place of all those quests whose only description is “monsters have been spotted here! Take Mipha and go to work!” and stuff like that. Alrighty then! Here’s my take on cool side quests for every single character thus far, along with their paired gambit attacks. Prepare for heists! Drama! Simping! And Bananas!

Link: Mastering Stasis

Ok I have no idea when this quest unlocks so just for my purposes assume this only becomes available after Link pulls the Master Sword. 

Engage the hordes of monsters that have been spotted in Hyrule Field. Now is a great time to master the use of the Stasis Rune. Impa and Zelda accompany you, but it seems stasised monsters aren’t the only thing coming to a tense standstill…

This isn’t anything that special, I just want to further highlight this tension that Zelda and Link have, as it’s something touched upon in Botw, but never really mentioned or used ever in Hwaoc. Now more than ever, Zelda has an excuse to have a rocky relationship with him because she could actively see just how far he’s coming in such a short amount of time. Classic “he probably hates me so I guess I’ll hate him” thing.

You play as Link, the game gives you your little prompts on how to use Stasis, you take out a few hordes of Bokoblins and blah blah blah. I wanted to use an earlier level to establish Zelda’s relationship sooner as obviously it’s gonna be important to the story. But of course like all side quests it won’t kill you to skip out. Text dialogue can be Zelda saying science shit like “This will be a good opportunity to test out the full limits of the Stasis rune” and then Impa’s all “Yep! We got your back, Princess! We’ll clear out these monsters in no time.”Then Link the little angsty shit that he is says nothing, and as you play you clear out more and more bokoblins Zelda just says “...” and then we can toss in a Moblin or two in there for gambit voice stuff.  

Gambit dialogue with Impa would be supportive, her usual spunky dialogue. I had two ideas for Gambit attacks with Link: One where Impa does that thing where she cuts a giant laser through the air, but it’s aimed towards Link and he parries it right in a monster’s FACE because I think it’s badass and also a good way to show trust and stuff. The second thing was Impa’s giant bomb barrels, but Link is the one to somehow ignite them, because he is an arsonist after all. He can even have a chaotic Sheikah blue glint in his eyes like blue flame, I can already picture it so clearly given how anime/dramatic Impa’s movements are. Impa sets bombs, Link *teleports behind Moblin* nothin personal, kid. 

Also right at the end of their gambit attacks, Impa and Link should try to fist bump or something (cause the whole “cool guys don’t look at explosions” thing that Impa usually does on her own) but are interrupted by eggbot jumping up to try and join in. And then Impa can be annoyed and try to punt it or something. That’s not just self-indulgent that’s in her character she totally would and I want to make use of the fact that eggbot travels around with Link. The success of her attempts to punt him can vary.

If Link does a gambit with Zelda, her dialogue can just be her usual monotone Princess stuff, “Thanks for lending your strength,” or “There is still much more to do!” just purely professional, we’re not at a stage yet where she’s buddy buddy with Link. Their gambit attacks can still be cool though. One idea I had was Zelda using stasis, and you know how when you use it in botw everything lights up with that sonar effect? So Link stands besides Zelda, and she activates stasis, the first “sonar” light wave reveals the stasised monster, and you see it from the view of the Sheikah Slate. Then with each additional flash of sonar you just see this silhouette of Link going absolute ham on a monster. And then when the stasis “ding ding ding ding ding” is done, everything’s just dead. Can you see my inspiration from Persona 5 yet? Second idea was Zelda using cryonis and makes an ice ramp for Link to shield surf on and ram into a monster. For entertainment purposes Zelda should also be putting frogs on said slide. (Also also the reason I’m putting Link as the main focus for those gambit attacks is because I want to juxtapose it with future gambits where Zelda may or may not be more powerful…)

Anyhow anyhow, so this side quest, you beat some bokoblins, theres a moblin or two. However as you progress Zelda’s dialogue because a bit more passive aggressive, maybe Zelda can be a bit irritated at how quickly Link is defeating everything before she can even contribute. Impa can comment on this like “She hasn’t exactly been warming up to you, has she…” and then the last point of the side quest, Zelda runs off, there’s a...let’s say a big horde of blue or black Moblins. Or a horde of Wizzrobes, I’m not too picky on it. Link can save her and do a gambit or whatever, but the point of importance is that Zelda leaves with the clear mindset off, “You don’t need to keep coddling me, I can handle my own” to Link, but is “Thank you, I’m glad you’re here,” to Impa. 

Now I stole was inspired to use this based on this comic by @novellanova, and you should check it out here. But basically, at the end when all the monsters are dead and the last few text boxes are rolling, Impa says something like “Gee, at this rate I might have to protect you from the princess! Hmm…. you know, maybe if you two had the opportunity to hang out more and get to know each other, she’d warm up to you! Ha! That’s it! I’ve made up my mind. Listen up Link, from now on I’m gonna let you man the wheel when it comes to protecting Zelda. So with me out of the picture you better take the opportunity to be the nicest, most helpful, and most effective body guard there is. I know you already are, but still, if I hear that one little Chuchu so much as splat in her direction I will take you down...got it?” And, that’s that.

Side quest done. Fun Link gambits with Impa and Zelda, some little character POVs on the situation, plus an explanation as to why Impa doesn’t accompany Zelda everywhere/nods to the cutscenes of Botw as to what happened to Impa. Alright, that was probably the most boring one so let’s move on to

Daruk: A Rumbling Stomach

Alright I’ll be honest...I have no idea what to do with Daruk. Especially when Yunobo’s not here, I got zip-zero to work with considering his character is non-existent. Further down the line I’ll certainly try to give him more nuances and the like, but I’m afraid the majority of my character efforts have been towards Astor, Revali, Zelda, and [REDACTED] so this is my apology ahead of time, rock fuckers.

This is my take on how to make those timed quests more fun. So basically, the premise of this stage is that Daruk was just happily hanging around trying to enjoy his rock roast, when a monster surprised him and he dropped it, and now it’s rolling down the hill. This is based on my real Breath of the Wild experience where I had to trek up that Volcano path to bring a rock roast for that shrine quest, but at the very top I dropped it and had to chase it down before it fell into the lava below. 

Daruk is eager to chow down on the finest rock roasts this year has to offer! It’s too bad things go downhill when monsters start to ambush. Defeat key enemies and rescue Daruk’s tumbling meal before this year’s wait goes to waste!

So, that’s what this is. The stage opens and Daruk says “NOOooOO! My rock roast! Damn monsters!” and you have to defeat baddies and catch up to the rock roast before the timer runs out and it falls into lava. And then when you finish and get back the rock roast that’s pretty much it….except SIKE no it’s not. Because a lot of these timed quests usually have a “surprise! There’s more!” thing at the end so I’ll do that here too. So Daruk has saved his rock roast and he’s talking about how he’s going to enjoy it in all its deliciousness, when he’s cut off by a random Goron’s scream. Turns out, Daruk’s yelling at the monsters about desperation to retrieve his lost lunch has attracted monsters to some traveling civilians, and now you gotta go beat a Talus, or a couple of Moblins, or something...Again I don’t really have level set or idea when these side quests unlock so just use your imagination. Once Daruk defeats the monster(s) the Gorons can thank him, and then one of the Goron kids can be like “Ooo! Is that a super special rock roast?!?” And Daruk is all:  “Ah! Well all the best Goron heroes eat plenty of rocks! This here is the gourmet stuff. You can only get it once a—” And the kid’s like “Woah! I’ve always wanted to have one, that’s why I’ve been training hard so I can explore more of the mountain. Where’d you get it??” And Daruk can sputter a bit, before finally sighing and giving into his instincts. “Ah….well, why don’t you have it? You’re probably really hungry after running around with those monsters…”

“Woah really?? Are you sure—”

“YEAH JUST TAKE IT ALREADY GO”

“Woah, thank you!” and then the Goron kid and co run off. Cue Daruk crying to himself in the background. Daruk may have an appetite, but I like to characterize him as the Goron Hero first and foremost.  

I’m sure that doesn’t stop him from mourning his rock though.

Mipha: Stronger Sentiments

Mipha and Daruk talked a whole bunch about training together so that Mipha can grow stronger, and Daruk was catching on to her crush on Link and it was a nice interaction in between them except for the fact that we never see them do the damn training so that’s what this is.

I think this is as good an opportunity as any to make this a Hair-Width quest, the ones where you can’t take one hit. The difficulty of a level is one of the most effective ways to put the players in the boots of a character to experience the same struggles they do. If the player works hard, then they automatically associate that with the character working hard. So, yeah, let’s have Mipha kicking ass and working to be strong enough to protect Link.

Mipha is determined to grow stronger. Daruk and the other Gorons are helping out with an intense training session by Gut Check Rock. Prove yourself by defeating all the enemies you encounter!

So Mipha is sparring with the Gorons, you fight through them and the captains and blah blah, the final boss is fighting Daruk without getting hit. 

“I promise not to hurt you more than I’m capable of reversing.”

“Ha! Give me all you’ve got, princess!”

You fight, cue the special music or whatever. I mentioned that gambit dialogue/attacks could also work to be custom for the character that you’re fighting, so I’m thinking something like this. Daruk slams the ground and rocks and magma sprout up around him like jagged pieces of glass, but Mipha is no where to be seen. Daruk’s kinda huffing and puffing, “Where’d you go Mipha…” and then FWOOSH, giant geyser right behind him. [yes I KNOW I overuse the *teleports behind you* “nothing personal, kid” thing but I think it’s COOL and you can’t stop me] So anyhow, you know that thing in Avatar where Pakku is just riding at the top of a whirlpool and destroying everything? That’s Mipha.

Daruk turns around and scratches the back of his head. “...huh….that’s not good.” Cue Mipha swooping down to deal the defeating blow. 

So Mipha wins, she can mention how wonderful it was and how much stronger she feels. And she can thank Daruk, and he’s all “No problem!” but he mutters something like “And I thought Gorons hit hard...now I know how Link feels.” End side quest….SIKE it’s another surprise boss at the end. A Goron captain suddenly reports that an Igneo Talus has appeared nearby. 

Mipha goes up to fight it, but wow! Link is already there. They both fight it, but it’s clear that Link didn’t need her help that much. You can defeat the Talus with a Mipha/Link gambit. It’s similar to Link’s usual “swing sword in a giant circle and become a death windmill” but Mipha kinda enhances it with water or something and it puts out the Talus. I wanted this ending with a focus on how strong Link is just to show that while Mipha is improving, she’s still not yet where she needs to be. 

Daruk: “Sorry I wasn’t much help at the end there, I was busy, uh, stretching.”

Mipha: “Oh it’s quite alright, Daruk. We were both quite tired from today’s training.”

Daruk: “Well I dunno about that...seems to me you were quite lively and active as you fought beside Link. *wink*”

Mipha: “Huh!?!? W-What is that supposed to mean??”

Cue laughter from Daruk. Mipha is flustered. And Link is just...confused, as always. 

Urbosa: Mighty Thunder of the Gerudo

So in the game this is just some normal outpost capturing, stronghold defending side quest, but we’re gonna spice it up just a bit. 

An important excavation site is being overrun by monsters, and Urbosa has set out to engage them. Defend and capture the outposts, in order to prevent this valuable place from falling into enemy hands…

So you fight as Urbosa, defeat some enemies and blah blah. When you first arrive there, I want one of the Gerudo Captains to be like “Lady Urbosa? Where did you come—What are you doing here? Aren’t there areas of greater importance for you to be at right now?” Urbosa says something like “Nevermind that now, let us focus on achieving victory over these rotten beasts.” 

As the battle goes through, it is revealed that this excavation site is where Zelda’s mother would often work and hang out with Urbosa. Urbosa says some stuff like “Her Majesty would not be happy to see all these monsters heading here!” *decapitates Moblin* and then she can say other dramatic stuff at the end like “We have fought well...for her memory” and other classic lesbian pining. Some guard at the end can say “Perhaps you should move on and help out somewhere else, Lady Urbosa. We can handle the clean up from here.” 

“Sure,” Urbosa replies, “Just another moment.” And then cue reminiscing. “She always did love these machines…”

And just other sentimental stuff like that. If you’re gonna be a coward and hold out on the Champion death angst, then you best be pumping that angst and emotion from somewhere, you know?

Also yay for worldbuilding! At least in my rewrite, the Guardian excavations and stuff were overseen by the Queen. Could be a reason Zelda hangs out with Sheikah tech so much...who knows who knows... who knows what other implications this has, it’s just a side quest after all.

Revali: Anti-Ice Training [get it??? Cause in this one, Revali’s gonna break the ice with some other characters?? I’m funny I swear]

Ok so for this one, I want to pull Revali’s character away from just “the birb that doesn’t like Link” and give him some other stuff to stand on. Obviously, there would be other side quests in a fully fleshed out game that did even more to characterize him, but for my rewrite I’m only dedicated this post and one other future post to sidequests, so I gotta really bring out what I can for the few side quest stories I have time to tell

Revali sets out alone to deal with some monsters by the Hebra trail. Although intended as an isolated moment to hone his skills, he finds himself with unexpected company. Defeat key enemies.

So you play as Revali and at first you’re alone, taking out Ice Lizalfos and the like. Revali’s text dialogue can say stuff like “Hmm...not fast enough” “My current needs to be stronger” “*mutters* Can’t compete with lightning and magma with aim like that.” Just stuff that establishes that he’s working hard to really prove himself as the best, but is still a bit insecure about his position. He thinks he’s better than Link, sure, and he certainly thinks that being a princess or a chief doesn’t automatically make you the best. However by this point, Revali has battled alongside the other Champions and seen their skill in battle, and has developed some respect for them. Afterall, Champions were chosen in some part for their skills, unlike Link or Zelda who destiny just thrust greatness upon. 

So Revali has this slight insecurity that compared to lightning, and magic healing, and magma, with chiefs and princesses and titles of heroes, he and his efforts will be overshadowed and forgotten, unfairly deemed the useless one. Thus, here he is, training in solitude, not wanting anyone to see the imperfections and mistakes until he is absolutely perfect.

Except for the fact that after you beat a Wizzrobe, the other three Champions show up. 

Revali: Wh—Huh?? What are you all doing here?

Urbosa: Well, we all have to travel with the princess to that Tower in a few hours, so I recommended we find you and hang out until then

Mipha: And a good thing too! Look how many monsters there are

Revali: I’m actually doing very well on my own right now. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold or something, so why don’t you head on back and let me handle this.

Daruk: Aw, it’s not that we think you can’t do this. It’s that you’re hogging all the fun! Urbosa: And that it would be more efficient if all of us went to work

Daruk: That too

Revali: Look it’s not—you all can’t just—this is not just about—AUGH, look, I’m just trying to train myself at the moment, and I don’t need you all to mess with my drills

Urbosa: Training, hm? Well how about this...you let us continue helping you with these monsters, and after, I’ll let you in on a good Gerudo training technique

Revali: Hmph. Fine, whatever gets you out of my tail feathers faster

So Revali and the Champions clear out the monsters. Revali can have gambit attacks/dialogue with each of the other Champions. This is already incredibly long so perhaps I’ll save specifics for another time, feel free to use your imagination. Urbosa teasing Revali and they make a thunderstorm, Mipha and Revali swimming in the sky and kissing—wait that’s— 

When all the monsters are cleared, which honestly isn’t tooooo many, Revali speaks again.

Revali: So what’s this oh-so-holy technique you had in mind, then?

Urbosa: Ah yes, well really it’s quite simple. It’s called…

Urbosa: One-on-one combat

Now Revali fights Urbosa. It think it’d be really fun if your allies on a stage could swap to a boss, and I wish hwaoc had a bit more freedom with the interactions as a whole, but ah well, that’s what I’m here for I guess.

So when you/Revali defeat her, it’s a good accomplishment! Not only for you the player, as Urbosa would not be the easiest to beat, but also because match-up wise, Revali prevailing over Urbosa is a big feat as their styles are quite opposite, arguably with the strength in favour for Urbosa.

Revali might at first have the mindset that Urbosa is overconfident and thinks she’s got an easy win on Revali, but that mindset is quickly proven wrong when 1) the difficulty of the gameplay itself shows how they’re both doing their best and 2) Urbosa with her Gerudo qualities is probably shouting stuff like “give it your all!” and things.

And so, as you beat her...

Revali, kinda huffing and puffing, but just a bit:: ...you….held back

Urbosa: Come now, do you really think of me as someone who’d do that? I’m almost insulted.  

Revali: Hmm...perhaps not then....

Mipha: Wow! What a wonderful fight from both of you. 

And then insert some other dialogue from Daruk or something that shows the Champions acknowledging the training and hard work Revali must have put in to be so skilled. Perhaps it’s not so bad, when you train with others and your skill is fully appreciated by your frie—GAH. Perish the thought, they’re all just a bunch of royal fools who can’t hold a candle to the skill of a Rito Master….probably…

Revali: Well unlike you lax fools, I tend to take my job seriously. I don’t have time to longue and banter when the princess is still expecting me in an hour or two

Urbosa: Oh alright, let’s get to it then. What’s the expression? “The early bird gets the w—”

Revali: Gross. No. Don’t finish that sentence, I beg you. 

Urbosa: Oh? Well why don’t you fly off to escape my dreadful tones then?

Revali: ...Heh, don’t be absurd…

Revali: Without me, you’ll all probably get lost. So, I suppose I should stick around for that sake Great Fairies: Dress to Oppress 

The Great Fairies are holding a fashion competition and rating people’s outfits. Poorly judged outfits gives them the right to compensation combat. Defeat all your less than fashionable allies.

...

...yeah.

It seemed funny in my head, alright? cOme on, just imagine…

Revali, fully expecting to win: Well?

Great Fairies: Hm...I don’t know dear, all the colors are very clustered. Perhaps if you were taller—?

Revali: bWHAKT!? *other angry bird noises*

- - - 

Daruk: I brought my BEST out today! :D

Great Fairies: Is that a….chain?

Daruk: TWO chains, actually. :D

Great Fairies: Oh honey…

- - - 

Great Fairies: Ooo! Our little hero is about to come out! Wonder what he chose...a knight in shining armour? A handsome desert voe? Ooo!! And those Snowquill braids always made him look so cute…

Link: *comes out in the Tingle Outfit*

Great Fairies: …

Great Fairies: …………..hm…..

At the end of the side quest, after you beat everyone, the Great Fairy wins because of course they do. 

Great Fairies: Oh my! What an unexpected outcome...but it really couldn’t have gone any other way. I declare the judges the winner! I mean just look at me, I’m as dazzling as a jeweled desert flower, because I am! Ohohohoho…

This side quests unlocks the Tingle Outfit

Hestu: Forest Dance Festival

Alright this quest was already pretty perfect, BUT, I just want to use this opportunity to say that all of Hestu’s gambit attacks makes his allies and enemies do special dances. Absolutely abSURD that Hestu can only make the lesser smaller enemies dance on occasion, nonononono, my guy Hestu is making everyone dance. You can’t stop this. Nothing I say will ever top the imagination, so just take my word that this is a good thing. [Reluctant Revali doing the macarena against his will in sync with Hestu and they bash someone’s head in...ah the possibilities.] 

Maz Koshia: Links to the Past

Ok so before I get into this, a few things. This quest takes place well after the tower activations in Akkala. Age of Calamity leaves a whole lot of plots holes as to why a Monk is just...here, and what the point of the shrines are, and personally my first reaction to all this was just a five minute extended “huuhhhhhh???” 

So here is my headcanon, explanation, thing, canon to the world of the Kip Cut story. Ones all the Sheikah Towers were activated, that officially woke up all the Shrines, because we know that the Towers and Shrines are all connected to the same system. [See Great Plateau Tower activating all the Shrines and Towers, and Creating a Champion explanation on the system] But when all the monks were in their little altars and noticed how Link hadn’t dont a single one, they were like “what the fuck.” Monk Maz Koshia, who is kinda the head honcho of the monks and probably the only one powerful enough to go out in the world anyhow, sets out to see what the deal is, and after many a teleportation and telepathic communication, he figures out that Link is just running around with the Master Sword already. This kinda confuses him, because the whole point of the Shrines was to test Link and give him the spirit orbs so that he could grow strong enough to get the Master Sword, but he somehow already has it...so hmmmm something fishy is going on in this timeline. So Link technically hasn’t proven himself at all, Maz Koshia ambushes him, they do their little combat trial, Link passes, and Maz Koshia’s like “ok cool so you’re not useless.”

So now Monk Maz Koshia has cast aside his old monk duties of waiting around for a couple hundred years, in favour of just hanging out with Link and continuing to train him combat wise. Shrines are still explored by Zelda and co because they are important areas to establish teleportation pads, and whenever they’re there, Maz Koshia forces Link to get in a shrine to get a spirit orb, which is not only useful in general for health, but since Link already has the Master Sword, the other characters can get the spirit orb too. (So all those little heart upgrades that you see on the map, those are all just in the real Botw Shrine locations, rather than just scattered around randomly. Also I’m ignoring the stuff about talking to Hylia in order to exchange for stamina or heart containers because the game never talks about her, or stamina, and I’m not about to create an entirely new custom gameplay feature for this game, fuck you.)

I like to think that Maz Koshia is very selective about the Shrines he encourages people to try out. “Oh nonono, don’t bother with Qukah’s….lazy ass, only set up one little mountain that you have to blast through with lightning and that’s the entire puzzle! Disgraceful...Here, Kaam Ya’tak has set up a wonderful Trial of Power for you. I’m sure you’ll find the level design quite thrilling. They spent a lot of time on the critical thinking aspects so have fun!”

“I should warn you that this one was made by one of the millennials...yes, those youngins who were only initiated 1000 years of age. Honestly, they lack so much experience. Ms. Agana over here was experimenting with something called ‘motion controls?’ Pretty lazy if you ask me. Traditionally I would just stick to combat and block and switch stuff...but ah well, variety I suppose.”

Right, what was I talking about? Oh right! This is a sidequest. So Monk Maz Koshia doesn’t really have...a character??? Or a personality??? So I don’t really know what to do with him other than use him as an outlet for world building. Apologies to the Monk….fuckers? Stans? Feel free to leave me a comment about how I missed all the nuances of his character or something I’m all ears.

On an expedition to mark more Shrines and establish more teleports for the Kingdom, a large horde of monsters is spotted, seemingly with the intention to destroy these Ancient relics. Link and Maz Koshia use this opportunity to sharpen their combat skills. Protect the stronghold and defeat key enemies.

And then that quest would just kinda echo the stuff I said earlier about the world. (As Maz Koshia defends a Shrine, somewhere Qukah Nata is smugly shouting “Bet you wish ALL of them were protected with a giant mountain now, do ya?)

Also Link and Maz Koshia’s gambit attack involves the Master Cycle. I don’t have the specifics, but damn if I want some call backs to Botw while also having fun.

Impa: Steal Yourself [Yiga Clan Escape]

In an act of pure hatred and malice, the Yiga Clan has snuck into Kakariko Village in the dead of night…and stolen all the Swift Carrots! Impa sets out to get them back, as well as taking something else as a form of swift revenge...Escape before the time runs out.

Ok I can explain.

So you know how the Yiga and the Sheikah have kiiiiinda been murdering each other a bunch in Botw, going as far as to kill a deserter’s wife and threatening to murder his kids, and also people on both sides were sorta massacred for no reason? And alsoooo one of those people who literally lived during that time of the massacre is just kinda floating around now?  And you knooooooooww how the Yiga Clan just kinda joins Zelda’s side later on and we’re not supposed to think about the implications of that too hard because they’re the funny banana ninjas, haha? Yeah well neither Age of Calamity or I really have time to explore the moral grey areas of an alliance between two warring factions, one of which has a leader who doesn’t really seem to remember the reason why they hate Hyrule which brings into question whether the lackeys even know their clan’s history, and brings about the moral dilemma of criminalizing the ignorant, and also there’s the whole other dilemma of depicting the side that submitted to their oppression as being “in the right” and the topic of a race of people being pitted against their own by a higher power is really brushed over sO WE’RE JUST GONNA TOSS ALL THAT OUT THE WINDOW AND MAKE THEM ACT LIKE RIVALLING HIGH SCHOOLS, OKAY? OKAY! This is fine this is fine— 

So I have dubbed the High School mascot of the Sheikah, the Swift Carrot. And although there does seem to be some internal debate about whether the carrot should be replaced by the Fortified Pumpkin, the hero of Hyrule Link favours carrots so that’s that. Then of course, the mascot for the Yiga Clan is the Mighty Banana. The two sides hate each other and steal their food symbols to be petty. I’ll be covering the side quests of Kohga and the other later characters in another later post, but just know that Kohga will have his banana heist sidequest too. 

So anyhow, you play as Impa. Maybe she can say a piece of dialogue or two about how she has to uphold the image of her people as she has to lead them one day. And then, this side quest is just her retrieving the carrots and running off with the Yiga’s big banana supply before she’s caught. This is based on that “Escape the Yiga Clan” quest if you couldn’t tell.

Custom gambit defeat of Impa vs Kohga: On one hand I think it would be badass to see Impa’s Sheikah skills go up against the Yiga Clan tactics. Kohga summons a giant metal ball to throw, Impa teleports behind him “nothing personal, kid” nO fuck I’m doing it again away goes to swing a blade at his face. He blocks it with his little energy shield thing, but not before an entire conga line of Impa clones start slashing at him until he’s defeated by a giant explosion. So yeah, that’d be badass and cool. But on the other hand…

Kohga, stomping his feet and having a fit: I cARROT believe you would do something this terrible! Give us back those bananas right now! D: ….please? You can keep the gross orange sticks.

Sooga: He asked nicely. You wouldn’t deny the wishes of the most polite and charming Yiga Chief there is, would you?

Impa: No can do, Yiga scum! I’m afraid this cruel action wasn’t veggie nice of you so I must exact justice! Now it’s my time to split. *Impa clones gather and throw Kohga into a giant frog’s mouth. Impa runs off with a sack of fruit [fruit (derogatory) if you will] cackling into the horizon*

Zelda: The Path She Laid For You

The King has order Zelda to head to the Temple of Time, in order to see if anything there could help awaken her powers. Zelda sets off quietly, with minimal company, as not to attract too much attention lest the Town’s folk be hit with another attack. It seems, however, that these precautions won’t be enough...Defeat key enemies

So this is a pure Zelda sidequest, with no other characters except for eggbot because I said so. Starts out normal when SURPRISE! Bunch of monsters appear and Zelda has to whip out her iphone and fight them. 

Also!! Good time for the Hollows to show up, and you know, tell her what a failure she is and all that. Convince her that she's useless and gonna doom everyone. All that good stuff!! It’s just nice to catch up with the villains and see how they’re doing, you know? ‘Sup Hollow Urbosa, last I saw you were barely spitting words in the Lost Woods, and now you’re giving full hard-hitting insults to Zelda’s character and ability? Good for you, Queen, good for you.

So Zelda and a handful of guards are fighting off monsters, and Zelda has to beat the Hollows too. Her gambit dialogue when she defeats Hollows can be stuff like “You’re not the real ___” or something idk, I don’t have a lot of experience with the evil clone trope, I’ve never played Ocarina of Time. But one specific I DO want to highlight is that Zelda uses the nearby Sheikah Tech to defeat the enemies. I find it a bit weird how Zelda just knows how to use those random water canons in the Faron region in later chapters, so we’re just gonna at least set up a pattern so that it makes a bit more sense later. Plus! This is in front of the Great Plateau, AKA Gate Post Town/Garrisons AKA oh lOOK it’s that area where Link and Impa and eggbot first meet in that Impa introduction scene of my rewrite so we have already established that Sheikah Technology is being stored here and ready to use! Continuity in world building! Nice.

So Zelda uses her knowledge of Sheikah Tech to defeat the Hollows, when...dun dun dun! Astor appears. But you don’t fight him...

Astor: Have you listened to one word spoken to you today? Why are you still resisting? Let me help you.

Zelda: And what exactly is your plan? You wish to kill me, then?

Astor: Not quite. I mean, if you do die, there are ways I can manage, so if some stray Yiga blade happens to strike you I’m not completely doomed.

Astor: But no, the most optimal outcome for everyone is the one where you live yet. You must see the truth as I do, and let me fix this. I can undo this terrible knot destiny has thread for you. [and insert other fate sisters and sewing metaphors here]

Zelda: But how? What’s your game here, if you’re truly claiming to be in everyone’s best interest then why all this secrecy?

Astor: Ah...ever the one to look for the facts and logic, hmm? Can’t blame you, you get it straight from your mother.

Zelda: …!

Astor: But...I’m afraid even if I did tell you now, you’re in no state to truly grasp it. No...the only way this works is for you to truly understand the position you're in, and the stakes that hang in the path before you. 

Astor: And if I have to kill every King, Champion, or knight to get you to understand…

Astor: Then so be it. 

[dun dun dun]

Zelda: No! I won’t let you hurt anyone, I swear it!

Eggbot [just pretend eggbot can have dialogue boxes too]: *chirps* 

Astor, suddenly noticing eggbot: ...You…you’re one thing I still don’t—

Eggbot chirps again beside Zelda, both seeming to be angry at Astor’s words. Eggbot releases a glowing flash of light. Kinda like a...flash bang? [is that the right word idk]

Astor: Ah—! *and he teleports away to escape* Astor: Until next time then...Princess

And that’s pretty much the sidequest. Zelda can question what exactly eggbot did, but he’s not exactly the most verbal in responses. Finally it ends with Zelda going home, “He was still right though...I’m still sitting in failure, with not a hint of my powers awakening. All I have is some Sheikah tech, some exhausted shoulders….and well, you, I suppose, little one.”

“Come, it’d be a waste to continue forth in this condition. Let’s go back to the castle.”

Eggbot: *happy whistles and chirps*

= = = = = 

Tune in next time folks, as we dive back into the main event! Needless to say, Chapter 4 is where the shit starts to go down...

[alotsgonnachange]

Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz

Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.

First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!

I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao

I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall

Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!

Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”

Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!

Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)

This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....

SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot

Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p

Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN

BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone

Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow

When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..

When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR

When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….

Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….

Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO

I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!

The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…

HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end

I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…

No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.

I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake

Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually

Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak

I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.

Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..

The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound

That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute

Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.

Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)

Lastly Zen FURRY ERA

MY BEEF With the AE

I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different

HOWEVER

Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….

He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.

He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.

Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE

Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much

V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..

The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?

HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?

AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.

*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together

Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!

[hopeymchope]

I don’t know what the DR team plans on doing... (if they’re planning on anything other than more fluff) but I just, and I know this is going to sound crazy but DO NOT want any more Non-fluff DR additions because I’m literally scared for Makoto and Kyoko. We saw what they did to them in future arc... I’m not sure how long our Lucky boy’s luck can last if they decide to pull something else. I just want them to be happy and I have SO much fear...

I'm pretty much with you on this. But of course, I have complex and very wordy thoughts. Lol.

Firstly: If they tried to do a direct sequel to the Hope's Peak Saga without Kodaka involved? I suppose we could just try to take the approach that "The original creator didn't do this, so it doesn't count." However, I'd really rather not have to deal with that. Even when I try to take that mentality, there are sometimes sequels that are so goddamn damaging and so fucking inescapable that it remains very hard to deal with their existence. *side-eyeing unnamed franchises*

Secondly: I admit that I often love the whole "The adventures continue" mentality of thinking that maybe they all went on to have additional brushes with danger in minor ways. Emphasis on "minor ways." A one-off short story where they have to deal with additional Despair loyalists or sub-remnants for a day? Sure. A fighting game between all the characters that takes place in a digital world? Sounds like fun.

But absolutely no more killing games. No more brushes with apocalyptic scenarios. I agree with you that they've absolutely earned their happy ending, and I think the "Hope's Peak Saga" should be left as-is.

Thirdly: They can still do more games in the main series without bothering you, me, or the 1/2/UDG/3 casts, though. Because V3 was an alternate universe scenario, and I think that's where they need to keep any major follow-up games. To me, that's how you do more "full" DR entries. And they've already gone there once, so it's low-hanging fruit!

I guess I might be ok with another killing game in the Hope's Peak universe if it involves zero of the surviving characters that we've previously met, but I'd still be scared that they'd wind up implying something super-damaging about the broader world therein. So why bother? I'd rather just stick to different universes. Hell, build up another AU over multiple games. Do something completely separate from the Hope's Peak world, and let it develop its own mythology.

Speculation/Brainstorming Time: Maybe the most talented young people in various fields of study within this new world are all invited to some kind of Talent Development Conference, and that's how you get a new collection of Ultimates in one place who've never met before. They get trapped in a high-rise hotel where they're staying for the conference, blah blah Monokuma something something murder. Who built the black-and-white animatronic bear? Definitely not the Towa Group; they don't exist. Who masterminded this killing game? Someone who has never heard of any "Junko Enoshima"; she doesn't exist. Totally new territory. That's what I want.

Maybe you don't even need "Ultimates"/SHSL people! Honestly, the DR3 Future Arc was a killing game full of grown-ass adults, so you don't even need the cast to be teenagers. Really, you just need a killing game with a decent cast who are forced into some kind of "trials" or other accusatory scenarios... and Monokuma shows up.

Details beyond those can be whatever you like. Get creative.

[angelhummel]

could you rank the degrassi next class characters?

gladly!! also sorry in advance if you love any of the characters im about to shit on lol

20. Frankie Hollingsworth. Almost had her second to last but. No. Klu Klux Fran?? The ZOO?? I can't even talk about her she's just so damn annoying and racist and omg. And she was being pushed as the new Main Girl which made everything all the more offensive and unbearable

19. Esme Song. Sorry but I do not think she had a single redeeming trait. She had nothing she stood for, no actual character beyond being an antagonist to every single other person on the show. Like she thinks Shay is stupid for being embarrassed about getting her period on her boyfriend's pants, and yet she calls Yael disgusting for having armpit hair?? So what's the truth? And people are like "well she's mentally ill" to excuse all she does. Well Maya is mentally ill and Esme makes fun of her too. So who's side are we on? Like I would've liked to see her get help and develop but we didn't get that so.

18. Hunter Hollingsworth. Terrorist. Not even interesting enough to be an actual school shooter. Just a waste of a character. Sexist, violent, had a plot about wanting to play video games at school. I'm so bored. Only not at the bottom bc I feel like he wasn't in my face as much

17 & 16. Baaz Nahir & Vijay Maraj. Thing 1 and Thing 2 to the would be school shooter. Clowns. They were a terrible group and I cringed any time they had a plot together. Annoying together, useless on their own. Hard pass

15. Yael Baron. The final member of the above group. Was mostly boring and annoying and especially dumb for being romantically interested in Hunter. Only gets bonus points for their coming out as nonbinary plot. After their makeover I was literally crying

14. Jonah Haak. Mostly disliked him for being in a relationship with Frankie. Like I'm sure they were only a year or two apart but he felt so much older than her. It was gross. And mostly he's just really blah. The attempt at a straight edge character at that point was. Hilarious. at least.

13. Winston Chu. Seemed harmless at first but idk all the boys were shifted high into clown mode when this show hit netflix. The incident with the geisha and Japanese soldier costumes? Defending Zoe against Esme? Then later telling Goldi maybe she should take her hijab off to cause less of a fuss? Bruh.

12. Saad Al'Maliki. Honestly I felt like he was the one with the most braincells most of the time. Probably pissed me off the least. But he was also in the least amount of episodes and didn't make much of an impression on me. Was mostly just boring. But I'll take boring over everything that came before

11. Lola Pacini. Degrassi has a knack for introducing the worst and most obnoxious characters and then eventually making you love them. Lola was not quite that. I hated her for the longest time but it decreased a bit near the end. I got emotional when she had her abortion. And when she gave Yael their makeover. And when she reached out to Saad and convinced him not to leave. I feel like I could've grown to like her more if the show went on, but again... Oh also I hate her and Miles together sorry

10. Grace Cardinal. Ugh Grace is confusing to me. I wasn't the biggest fan of her story with Zoe. I mean sure you're allowed to hook up with someone and then realize "oh that's not for me" but it was handled so awkwardly. Like she slept with Zoe just to be like "damn i hate when everyone thinks i'm a lesbian :/" like why. Idk she was fine but I'm not over the moon about her

9. Goldi Nahir. Ugh okay I feel like they didn't know what to do with her. Like she had the plotline about if she should take off her hijab or not. And she had to teach the poor whities about racism. That was about it? She was adorable and sweet and a bright spot in the show but ugh she deserved better than what she was surrounded with lol

8. Shay Powers. Again, it's not her fault she's stuck in a show written by 70 year old white people. But the black girl is completely oblivious to the racism of her friend? She has to ask her dad if a racist thing is really racist? She's never experienced racism? Ok Degrassi. They treat all their black girls like shit and I feel like I just stan them out of spite bc of that lol. But she's cool and a nice person and she's into sports so she's at least doing stuff

7. Rasha Zuabi. Another generally nice and cool character that I have positive feelings for. Also she was gay so yay. Loved her story with Zoe. I think there was just one moment where I was like "wtf are you doing" but compared to everyone else it's not a big deal

6. Zig Novak. I have to admit that all my enjoyment of his character comes from before Next Class. He was such a sweetie and then he left and came back acting dumb as hell. That was not my boy in Next Class. But ahhh he's still my boy sorry I love him <3

5. Deon "Tiny" Bell. Basically the same as Zig above. But I feel like he maybe had a few less moments of being an asshole? Also his promposal for Shay was cute <3 Wait didn't he also date Lola? Wasn't a fan of that either.

4. Zoe Rivas. She was the one dressed up as a geisha lol (: Oh boy Next Class was something else. Umm it was nice to see her process of accepting herself as a lesbian. I feel like it took forever tho. Which is understandable irl but this is a tv show lol. I didn't enjoy her sucking Zig off in the woods. Not fun. But her relationship with Rasha was one of my fave things about NC

3. Tristan Milligan. The amount of hate Tristan gets is faaaar too much. He's one of my favorites of the whole show honestly. I think he's funny and dramatic and a great addition to the show. But he gets knocked down bc I can't remember anything he did in Next Class other than BEING IN A FUCKING COMA FOR A WHOLE SEASON. He's already Owen's brother, he's suffered enough. But I love his relationship with Miles. And him helping Zoe accept herself

2. Miles Hollingsworth. Yes another character I wasn't fond of at first. Hated his relationship with Zoe and thought he was just boring. Truthfully I think I only became interested when he started dating Tristan lol. Plus omg with his family?? It's a miracle he got out at all. He went through so much bullshit and he was especially going through it in Next Class. He was kind of a hot mess but also I just care a lot about him. He deserves the world <3

1. Maya Matlin. Is Maya really my fave?? I guess so! Yet another character I wasn't fond of at first. Which is insane bc we just got to the part in our rewatch where she first shows up and I'm like !!! baby girl!! So precious!!! And I wanted to cry thinking of what she's about to go through. I feel like her character is treated with some of the most respect and care. Her motivations and mental health decline all make sense storywise. I just care a lot about her and got super emotional watching everything in her story, especially the later parts in NC

Wow this is a lot!! But I hope you enjoyed my ranking and explanations lol. Also like. Everyone was racist. Everyone was mentally ill. That was the whole show. It was a hot mess and truth be told I am not a fan. Even the characters I love, they were acting weird here. Like I said about Zig and Tiny and their character regression. And I think it was the same for like Tristan and Zoe and plenty of others too. Everyone was off, idk how to explain it. But that's my ranking for the hot mess that was Next Class!!

Thank you for the ask, ily <3

[gronjon44]

Ok so thoughts on MK-2021

I was gonna make a longer more spoilery review but I'm gonna cut it short cause there's one big thing I wanna talk about (so let's bullet point

Kano is and always will be one of my favorite characters in the MK Franchise (with Reptile, Barakka, Noob Saibot, and Scorpion) His character felt like it should and while I originally would've wanted to see Karl Urban as Kano I do really like Josh Lawsons performance.

Lui Kang and Kung Lao were really fun to watch, Lui especially (I'm not fully familiar with Kung Lao so I won't talk about him too much other then the fact I think he's neat)

I'll kinda consider this a ⚠️⚠️SPOILER⚠️⚠️ so if you wanna skip this whole bullet point snd the next one after; The villains were all awesome in this film (Reptile was awesome to see quick as it may have been, Mileena was fucking AWESOME, Reiko and Nitarra were... there? (I don't know either of them so they were just kinda canon fodder to me), Kabal was cooler then I thought he'd be (though I wanted more)

Gorro was awesome to see but he felt... underused? I'll go more into detail at the end.

Jax was alright but I never knew much about him then and I still don't

Sonya Blade was fine until the end and she just kinda felt... crammed in? Like yeah yeah know she has more in the games and she had a presence in the original 95 film, and she was an integral part of the story all the way through till the end but then she *spolier *spoiler *spoiler* with *insert name here* and she just felt like a thematic paper weight at the end.

Scorpion and Sub Zero were FANTASTIC and i have no complaints with either (at least not directly)

Raiden was there and he was played by Tadanobu Asano (of Thor) and was a MUCH NEED improvement over Christopher Lambert

And then Cole Young...⚠️SPOLIER BTW⚠️

...

...

...

(I'm doing this in a smaller font to get everything I wanna say) I wanna like his character more I do, and i have nothing against Lewis Tan he's a phenomenal actor, but Cole Young is a weird character for this film.

Hes both underutalized and at the same time completely unnecessary to the plot.

Lewis Tan is the decendant of Hanzo Hasashi (Scorpion) after all of Hanzos family was murdered by Sub Zero, say for one orphaned daughter; throughout the film he's hyped to have this big connection to Scorpion (through glimpses of a Kunai surrounded by far to even Cole seeing Hanzo in visions) and later on we see that each champion has a special power, and Coles "power" is supposedly passed down to him by his familial ties to Scorpion.

Now, from that description I'm sure you'd think Cole would gain the Hellish abilities Scorpions known for, or even his retractable Kunai, but NO, instead he gets these wrapping all across his body that act as a sort of shield to protect him and absorb incoming damage (its basically the Black Panther suit)

He also has a set of Tonfas (one of which is bladed) that appear when he needs them

Now I should point out that early on in the film it's shown to the audience that Cole is a struggling boxer trying to support his family, and if you look you can see these wrapping across his body are reminiscent of the boxing wrappings he put on his ha ds prior to a fight. But here's the thing... WHAT DOES HIM BEING A BOXER HAVE TO DO WITH HIS TIES TO HANZO?

You can argue it shows us he's always had a connection to tournament fighting, and yeah that's valid, but it doesn't change the fact that he and Scorpion don't really share a connection.

He unlocks his armor while fighting Gorro who was sent to hunt both him and his family (which frankly is such a waste of Gorro on it's own but I'll get to that in a minute)

When we see Cole get hit in his armor it glows a Hellish red, similar to the fires of Scorpions Hell based powers, but that's as far as it goes and it shows that the armor has absolutely nothing to do with their connection

If you wanted these two to share a bond in their powers, why not have Cole dress in clothes inspired by Scorpion, and then have his powers be hell based or have him control a mystical Kunai, and maybe have the soul of Hanzo watch over him

And this ties into both of the fights that Cole takes part in (Gorro and Sub Zero)

His fight with Gorro is cool, but Gorro isn't the same menace as he was in 95; he's a goon for Shang Tsung and that's it (they refer to him as a prince but even then he's mostly just a lackey, similar to Sub Zero and Scorpion were in the 95 film) And ⚠️SPOLIER⚠️ Gorro gets fucking wrecked.

And even then there is no stakes between them, other then his family might die; these two don't know each other, they have no beef, hell to Cole I bet Gorro is just a big monster.

And this is where the missed opportunity was with Sub Zero; Sub Zero HAS history with Cole there IS a beef between them (even if Cole isn't fully aware of it) but there final fight is just kinda... meh.

Sub Zero and Cole have a full fight (Sub-Z using his ice powers and Cole with his armor and Tonfas) and throughout the fight it looks like Cole might lose; that is until he cuts himself on a Kunai Raiden gave him (it was the original Kunai that belonged to Hanzo when he died) and his blood beint spilled on that blade actually SUMMONS Hanzo FROM the depths of Hell to help win the fight.

They win, Sub Zero dies, Hanzo is laid to rest blah blah blah.

Now, all of that sounds like a REALLY AWESOME IDEA in writing.

The problem is that it goes LITTERALLY NOWHERE WHEN THEY USED IT

Up until this point there is no physical evidence that shows Cole is Hanzos decendant, hell you could argue that Lui Kang is his decendant and it'd make more sense.

Cole's entire arc has been nullified by the simple fact that there is no physical evidence to show the two are related, and this whole blood feud with Sub Zero is kinda useless.

Now I'd like to propose an alternative plot point to fix this if you'll bare with me

Again, another ⚠️⚠️⚠️MASSIVE SPOLIER⚠️⚠️⚠️

...

...

...

Shang Tsung kills Kung Lao in front of Lui Kang, basically setting off that entire arc like the 95 film. Now, here's the alternative I'd like to suggest.

Shang Tsung isn't the one to kill Kung Lao, Gorro is.

Gorro is ordered by Shang Tsung to kill Kung Lao after he ⚠️SPOLIER⚠️ kills Natarra.

And instead of killing off Gorro have him leave with Shang Tsung and the two return to Outworld and Lui Kang is left with a dead Kung Lao.

And to Parralell this, instead of Gorro fighting Cole, have a prelude fight between Cole and Sub Zero, one where Sub Zero actually DOES KILL Coles family (they didn't even die in the film so there)

Sub Zero can battle Cole, Cole can discover his powers, and Sub Zero (in a panic) can just fuckint destroy his whole house with his family inside by summoning a giant ice glacier inside the house.

This in turn adds more weight to the final fight between Sub Zero, Cole and Scorpion; Cole lost his family to Sub Zero, just like Hanzo did before him. And when Cole summons Scorpion in the climax it holds more weight because TWO GENERATIONS OF THE SHIRAI RYU CLAN avenging the deaths of their families in that instant.

And as for Lui Kang make him the main fighter of the ACTUAL TOURNAMENT (they don't even do the tournament in this film they just kinda talk about it) and have Lui battle Gorro for the Title of MK Champion.

Well... that was a long post. I think I'll end it here by saying that while i do have beefs with the film I still want to make it clear I don't hate jt, in fact I genuinely enjoy it.

I just... have some criticisms.

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 23.12.20 lb

V is talking about helping out some destitute mothers and riddhima is like omgggggggggggggg, he wanted the money to help them outtttttttt 😭😭😭 man, she’s suchhhhhhhhhh a fucking idiot. changes her opinion at the drop of a hat; as long as she had heard just “mera kaam” she was like OMG HE WANTS TO BLOW UP THE PLACE, the moment he said “gareeb maaon ki madad” she’s assumed that allllllll the 5 crore he’s asked for are purely for charity. sis, the middle road, have you everrrrrrrrrrr heard of it???

now she’s convinced ki yeh vihaan nahi vansh hai. because apparently only vansh holds the opinion that gareeb maaon ko madad karni chahiye............. no one else in the world has such charitable thoughts???? re devaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

everyone is dancing, and vansh is just standing there checking his phone. lmao, meeeeeeeeeeeeee.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🥰🥰🥰

anyway, dadi brought riddhima to him and now they shall have the *~~~~~third~~~~~~* OTT dance performance in 24 hours. why don’t you channel all this energy into some competitive ballroom dancing or something. at least that’s a productive use of your time, unlike........... everything else you losers do all day.

but they hot, so i’m not reallyyyyyyyyy complaining. yeah babiesssss, press up against each other and run your hands alllllllllllllllll over. mmmmmmhmmm.

EYE SEX EYE SEX EYE SEX  EYE SEXXXXXXXXXX

light chali gayi. the oberois ke zamaane ka ghatiya fusebox abhi tak badla nahi tum logon ne??????????

kabir and vansh are missing.

ok we found one of them.

aaaaaaaaand he’s activated the bomb.

ok i can’t watch this santa shit without cringing, so imma fwd to when the action happens.

RIDDHIMA LOOKING AT SANTA AND SAYING IT’S VIHAAN’S CHAAL. SIS.............................. YOU CAN’T TELL FROM A SINGLE LOOK AT THIS PERSON THAT IT’S KABIR?????????????? I............. HADH HOTI HAI BEWAKOOFI KI.

kabir!santa is giving dadi gift and riddhima’s making her way towards them.......................

................ when she’s intercepted by a whole other santa, who’s a chappal chor.

how the fuck vansh!santa know that there’s a bomb in her shoe anyway???????????????

EITHER WAY I’M DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT SEEING VISHAL AND RRAHUL IN THE WORST SANTA BEARDS EVER SO I’M FWDINGGGGGGGGGGG

this episode just wants to fucking kill me by cringe. pls god stop doing this to my hot boys. please. 

he’s taking off the santa suit anddddddddddd..........

(i know we’re all very excited at the prospect of V taking his shirt off, but please note, ki kabir!santa has switched out for mummy!santa. how??? no one knows or cares.)

also, i wish my skin healed that quickly from the 20 bumps and bruises and mosquito/chandler bites i get in a day.

lmao the camera just did a TIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTT closeup into his lower back and while i am delighted, i also wish it was framed a lil better so i could also see dat ass in those pants. 🍑🍑🍑

anyway riddhima is like:

poora outfit pehen ke hi bhai bolega. till then we have to stand here and watch him getting dressed. again, i’m not complaining, but i would prefer the reverse..............

ishani’s like riddhima ke shoe mein bomb?!?!?!!? whattt?!?!?! who could do such a thing???? whooooooo would wanna kill riddhima?!?!? lmaooooooooooooo as if her own bitch ass (along with every single other person in this house other than dadi) hasn’t been trying to fucking murder riddhima on a daily basis. y’all have some nerve looking this shocked.

he’s like i know who did it, vansh knows everything blah blah, i hacked everyone’s phones and it took me time but i found out who purchased bomb making materials........ EXCUSE ME BUT EVERYONE IS VERY VERYYYYY CHILL AND NON-BOTHERED ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE HACKED THEIR PHONES????? THEY’RE JUST USED TO IT, HUH, LIVING IN THIS SURVEILLANCE STATE THAT IS UNDER THE DICTATOR VANSH RAISINGHANIA????? THEY’RE LITERALLY LIKE DEAR LEADER NE KIYA HAI, TOH ACHCHE KE LIYE HI KIYA HOGA..................

anyway he found a piece of the sandal heel somewhere, and idk how but understood ki it’s riddhima’s sandal and that’s the one with the bomb and oh my god this is the stupidest fucking episode of this show i’ve seen so far, and that’s really saying SOMETHING,coz every episode of this show is a new and unique type of stupid.

anyway, long story short.................

this..... i......... god. this stupid fucking show. the explosion wasn’t THAT long also ki allllll this coulda happened without anyone noticing.

anyway Mummy did it coz she knows one of them gonna get fucked up rn and if kabir is thrown out, there’s no way back for him. she can do emotional drama blah blah.

Mummy doing maaaaa wali drama ki riddhima insulted my kokh ka sagaaaaaa, so i did this blah blah and lmao vansh like list khol hi dii hai toh pooori ki poori ginwa deta hoon ki kya kya paap kiye hain kabir ke naam pe.

ooooooooooooooooooooop. OG Maa ka murder waala sach baahar aa gaya. how he knows? no1 currrrrrrr.

didi ko finally realize ho gaya ki this her main man, not a humshakal.

bhai ALSO realizing ki this his main man, not a humshakal.

mummy doing acting and kabir also joining in with support role ki nahiiiiiiiiiiii, it can’t beeeeeeee. (vishal doing some solid acting in this scene, he really deserves so much more from this show than these bits and pieces to perform.)

vansh like achchaaaaaa????? tu bada bol raha hai........ ab bol.

kabir be like ab toh aadat si hai mujhko aise jeene mein; har hafte, do hafte isne merepe bandook nahi taani toh thoda off sa feel hota hai mujhe. like he doesn’t really appreciate or value me anymore. iss se apnapann lagta hai.

anyway vansh like, ok anyone wanna tell me the truth NOW?

yup. feeling very truthy rn, with a gun pointed at raja beta’s kanpatti.

oh man, poor baby. he knew it, but still couldn’t be easy to hear it.

someone hold her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

these two be like daaaaaaang, we gotta up our game if we wanna survive in this house. our plans are all hella weak and amateurish compared to the shit going on here.

december be the month that dadiiiiii really came into her own with the slapping. errrrrryone getting slapped around here. lord when will she slap the fuck outta vansh for HIS never-ending bs, that’s the episode i’m waiting for with bated breath. 

she’s yelling at vansh to call the police and curiously...................

INTERESTING. VERY INTERESTING. that he’d trust kabir of allllllllllll people to arrest his own mom?????????????? seems hella sus to me, girls. kuchhhhhhh toh gadbad hai. either vansh has more of a plan to make these two’s jeena mushkil, ya *excited gasp* KABIR AND VANSH ARE A TEAMMMMMMMMM FROM THE START. (i know it’s not the case. they’ll never give me that. but a girl can hope. i would die of happy if it came true!)

kabir doing some ghamasaaaaaaaaan acting about how he’s heartbroken that his own mom is a criminal, yadda yadda yadda, MY QUESTION IS, WHEN DID HE EVEN GET REINSTATED TO DUTY, THAT HE HAS THE RIGHT TO ARREST HER???? I’M TELLING YOU THIS IS ALL SO SHADY AS HELL.

ofc dadi is due for a swooning fit now.

uss confusion mein..........

sis, you really need to go to therapy about this fucked up tendency you have to keep jumping in front of bullets for this dude. like......... ppl want to shoot him for a reason. it’s coz he deserves it. how many you gonna intercept like this????? like, let him also catch a bullet or two once in a while. it’ll knock his akad down a peg or two.

anyway yeah. he finally fucking told her.

[arlakos]

The problem I realized with Adrien Agreste (and many of the other miraculous characters)

Ok, let me just put a disclaimer here.

I love all the characters in miraculous Ladybug, I really do. I mean, aside from Lila and Gabriel, but really who doesn’t? I think all the characters are cool from both design and initial character standpoints and made you wish we see more of them. 

But just like most of my other posts, I see both good and bad in the show and acknowledge all of it. I like the concepts, but I don’t have to necessarily like all the executions of said concepts.

I’ve been holding off this post for a while due to me wanting to take some time to review the show first and see if there was anything that would have made me change my mind on my newfound stance. But surprisingly, there really wasn’t.

So let me get to the point

Adrien Agreste...Is one of the blandest characters I have ever seen in a show

As with most to all the other characters in the show as well.

(Cue sounds of  betrayal)

“But Arlakos!” you might say, “Why would you think this way? You love Adrien! He has a great personality!”

Yeah, I love him. I love his initial character and I think he as Chat Noir is just amazing. But having watched three seasons of a single show, as well as comparing Miraculous to ANOTHER similar show, I have to address this issue and how it affects all the characters.

So first, let's talk about the show

Spanning three seasons, Miraculous Ladybug, as of this moment has released 78 episodes of this show (also including the Christmas special). In comparison, the show I'm using has released 87 episodes, so I feel that after this long, its fair to now compare the two shows, even with the 9 episode difference.

After watching Miraculous Ladybug for so long, I realized by this point that a lot of episodes in the series are pretty much flash and no substance, along with some ship teasing. I would call it filler, but that's under the implication that there was any plot they were following, to begin with. With each of the episodes bottled into one standalone story, most of the episodes have no impact to each other aside from a few rare few. Season 1 was chock full of this, but it was ok for the time being as Season 1 was used to introduce most of the characters in the show and the world itself. But that has also been the basis for the other two seasons as well, especially those that promised to expand the story of the show. 

But it didn’t. Each of the episodes would occur, their story would end, and any important lessons the characters would learn would be forgotten by the end. The episode and its story would never be brought up again, aside from the Akuma if the person in question was to be re-akumatized again. Maybe it would be brought up in passing, such as Kim and Ondine’s relationship, but truth be told, none of the episodes mattered to the lore or plot of the show. You could feasibly cut out most of the episodes, aside from episodes introducing a new hero, the finales and the first episode of each new season and the show would still work plot-wise.

Because of this format of the show, the characters have undoubtedly suffered a lot development-wise, due to character resets cause of the nature of standalone episodes, most characters not being utilized in most episodes unless its for setting up an akuma, and the overall Marinette focused nature of the show not allowing any other characters to have focus.

And nobody has really suffered more, that the Big Cat himself, Adrien Agreste.

But why though?

To understand this, let's go over his initial character traits

He’s Kind

He’s willing to see the good in people

He’s Lonely and has no friends

He’s a model

He loves Ladybug.

He makes puns (as Chat Noir)

He’s flirty with Ladybug (as Chat Noir)

As you can see, most to all of these character traits are pretty much all the traits  Adrien has shown in season 1. Actually, all of these traits were shown in just the Origins itself which, being the first chronological show in the series, does a pretty good job of setting up Adrien's initial character.

(Also just a quick mid note here, I just realized why the show produced this episode last compared to the others. If this was the episode that came out first, most to all of the other episodes in comparison would just be seen as boring. With the origins being both action-packed and plot rich with its main cast, most of the other episodes would be seen as filler if they came out after this banger of a season finale.)

But going on the topic of later seasons, ask yourself:

What have you learned about Adrien's Character in season 2 and 3?

And when I say character, i mean actual stuff about him. What other stuff does he like? What does he want to do in the future? What does he do when he spends time with Nino? What does he think of other people (aside from Lila)?

Chances are, that unless the stuff you’re pulling at might be from a headcanon in whatever fanfic you are writing, most of you will answer nothing. I mean, sure some people may say that he’s likes games as made evident from Gamer, but that is probably the only moment where we see a bit more of Adrien's character, and again we are talking about season 1, so it doesn't really count

Some people may say that Gorizilla was an episode that explored Adrien's character. While I do agree that it was more Adrien focused than others, and easily one of the best episodes in the show, looking back on the episode, I realized that more or less all it does is show how Adrien is pretty much a Disney Princess more helpless than Snow White. He’s trapped in the house, unable to escape, waiting for a hero in spots to ‘save him’ from his loneliness. Also, it had some Adrienette in it, but again it was just teasing.

(Note: I just gotta say though that Wayhem’s character and growth were just the best. Being just another fanboy at first, he realized his mistake and even stood up to an Akuma to save Adrien, then apologized at the end even though he would pretty much get no reward for his action, becoming an actual character in the process rather than just a background one. The fact that Adrien became friends with Wayhem was just heartwarming for a background character. Despite Roi Singe being a blast, I’m really sorry that they restricted Wayhems character to just being another Akuma in Party Crasher, it would have been nice for Wayhem to be an actual Friend Adrien could talk to outside of school and add more development into the show.)

So back on the Topic of Adrien, we haven’t really learned much about Adrien's character or see him develop in any meaningful way. The only thing we ever see him really do outside of being part of the Squad (Alya, Nino, Adrien, Marinette) is just either pine for Ladybug in his spare time, or complaining about not being able to spend time with his dad. No seriously, look at most episodes where Adrien's at home and that's all he does!

But now for the topic of Chat Noir. I mean, Adrien is trapped as a normal boy, so it would make sense that Chat Noir would be able to develop as a character and show the world he is more than just a sidekick right?

Unfortunately, Chat Noir, just like his civilian counterpart, also suffers from a lack of any meaningful character growth. Shorts vids on youtube aside (which btw should never be used to develop the main characters, otherwise what is the point of the show), we never see him talk to Ladybug in any meaningful way (I mean he does try, but chances are Ladybug shuts him up because (a) she wants to leave and (b) blah blah secret identity)

Basically, he has three different moods.

He flirts with Ladybug, often using puns to do so. 

He’s a suicidal mofo who takes hits for Ladybug, saying its because she's the only one who can save the day (Hot take though, I just think Chat Noir is just the persona of Tumblr that wants to die)

He worships Ladybug and thinks shes amazing, complimenting her on the daily, as well as comforting her and giving her pep talks when shes low.

Other than that, he’s written as basically useless. Don’t expect him to come up with any plans and if he does, expect them to fail (Reflekdoll). Don't expect him to actually help Ladybug and for Ladybug to always say him. If Ladybug is in any way made useless or incapacitated, be sure that Chat will in no way be able to help Ladybug as he will be made to be more useless than Ladybug so that Ladybug has to take care of him (Reverser). Also Chat will flirt at the worst times to show Ladybug is better and more ‘professional’ at being a hero (Prime Queen)

Also Chat Missile

WARNING: Not suitable for anyone under 13 years old. Only use if your a superhero with increased Strength, otherwise it may hurt your back.

These are all the same traits we see in every episode, without change without fail. I mean, in Glacitator Chat promised to stop flirting with Ladybug because she likes another boy, but since characters reset after every episode he went back to flirting the next episode. So yeah, that's it. Next episode

Aside from that, we never see him do anything else, nor have anything as a hero impact him in any way. The only times I have ever seen him be impacted as a hero was 

Syren, where he was tired his partner kept hiding secrets from him (as HE SHOULD), and was about to quit, but reconsidered once Fu arrived and explained some stuff, which bascially set him back to normal, which i guess its fine, but i wish the episode had more of an impact on Chat’s character.

Frozer (where Astruc was making Adrien salt cause Luka)

The Ladybug episode, where he saw a living, thinking duplicate of Ladybug, who had just become free from Mayura and became a hero, killed by said villain, and was just about to have a heroic breakdown and attack Mayura. However, this one was cut off due to Hawkmoth, resulting in Chat going from Heroic breakdown to making puns about Hawkmoths age. Really?

However, despite all that I have said, some of you may still think I am wrong. You may think that Adrien does show more character and that I'm just pulling facts out of my ass. You may think he does show character because of that one ship tease moment that you think qualifies at plot development.

But some of you may also think, why does this even matter? Its called Miraculous Ladybug, the show is about Marinette and Ladybug. Its all about her. Who cares about the other characters? Who cares about Adrien? He doesn’t need character development, we need to focus on Marinette and her making Adrien's birthday gifts for his next 35 birthdays. We should all just stop worrying about Adrien's character. All he should be is just a kind pretty boy for Marinette to idolize and have as a prize at the finale, and for Chat Noir to be useless comic relief while Ladybug saves the day, because she is juuuust that amaziiiiing.

Well first of all 

It’s called Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Miraculous Ladybug is just a nickname used by fans and writers to simplify the name. The name implies that there is another main character, known as... Chat Noir. It's not called tales of Ladybug and Marinette, get with the program.

The show can still focus on one main character but still develop other characters as well. If anyone thinks otherwise, they either have a character bias or don't realize how to make a good show.

If anyone actually thinks this way, well then screw you. Developing a character should not be made at the expense of another character. Chat Noir should not have to be made to be comic relief just because Ladybug is the only one who can purify Akumas.

Secondly (yes I realized that I used 3 points but IDC) there’s another show that is very similar to Ladybug that also focuses on a school girl saving the world with the help of her sidekick male character.

That’s right, I’m talking about ... KIM POSSIBLE!

But to be more precise, I’m talking about its secondary hero... Ron Stoppable.

This guy right here, just in case any of you thought I was talking about the kung fu naked mole-rat.

But in all seriousness though, let's talk about him.

In the series, Ron Stoppable is the partner of the teenage heroine Kim Possible. Just like Chat Noir, he helps KP on her missions, and unlike Chat, is actually seen as a sidekick by the world, including KP.

Then why is it that I think he’s a better Character than Chat?

Well, the thing is unlike Miraculous, the show has a good job of integrating its school and hero stories together, and it helped to explore Ron’s character as well. Sure, he was a clumsy dude who got scared a lot and had an unhealthy obsession with Mexican fast food, but we still got to explore his character.

Just a few small examples:

Most episodes in KP had the fine job of adding stuff to Ron’s Character. Small stuff, but it fleshed him out over time He shows in one episode that despite being clumsy in the hero business, he can cook pretty well! In another episode, he learns he is pretty good at running and becomes a back runner for the football team at his school.

He also gets to have a few episodes where he and his buddy Rufus (the naked mole rat) get to shine despite being a secondary character. He becomes the second incarnation of the fearless ferret (an in show super hero), visits Japan where he gets to learn some monkey Kung Fu, and often times fights villains himself, though this is usually in one of the situations where he gets a one time power up or Kim Possible is not available, but it still showed that Ron could be a hero as well. Hell in the finale, he actually helped Kim Possible as a partner rather than a sidekick.

Now I get that Miraculous and KP are two radically different shows. Secret Identities aside, Kim Possible has a large variety of villains, while Miraculous only has the One big villain, so it's very difficult to have Chat be able to stand on his own two feet while the only thing they are fighting is something only Ladybug can fix. 

But in that regard, this also shows the importance of Miraculous needing more plot progressed the story. Unlike Kim Possible, who’s many villains and overall lack of an ‘ending villain’ can allow for one-off episodes involving Ron and some villains, Miraculous only has the one. Once Hawkmoth is defeated, the show technically ends (future version not counting), so It would make sense that the characters should develop over time as the show gets closer to that finale. 

So in that Regard, what could I do to make Chat Noir more fleshed out?

Honestly, you could add in some moments in the show where Chat noir interacts with Paris. Like maybe in one episode Chat rescues lost cats and takes them to the shelter, or perhaps he works at a cat shelter in his spare hero time.

Perhaps have an episode or two where Chat saves the day on his own while Ladybug is busy or oblivious to the trouble in Paris. Regarding Akuma, I have often considered Chat should have an ‘ability’ similar to Ladybugs that allows him to ‘purify’ the Akuma by disrupting the magic inside the Akuma (the ability being called Disruption), but can’t use it too often without proper training due to the dark energies in the Akuma being too harmful to Chat to use often. That way Chat can occasionally take on a few Akuma by himself.

Have a few episodes where something happens which allows the audience to learn what Adrien/Chat likes. Maybe there’s an episode where he learns to cook desserts, and finds out he’s actually pretty good at it!

I feel the need to add some ideas in because in the end I still love Chat Noir and consider him my favorite character. But I also have to acknowledge this problem because it ruins the quality of the show.

In fact, I think that Adrien's problem isn’t just limited to him, but also to every other character in the show, and even Marinette to an extent.

Going back to the show and looking at all the side characters, it's obvious that looking at them, a lot of them are very one dimensional in their character. We don't learn much about them or their personality, and even when we do, we only learn about them when it's their turn to be akumatized, or if the akumatized person is related to them in some way like in Markov. Once they usually are done, we don't get to see the characters much, unless there is a second akumatization. 

Juleka only became important when she got akumatized twice and aside from that, we don't get to see her much or learn about her. Ivan and Mylene were basically forgotten after they became akumatized. Pretty much no one is affected post akumatization with any sort of trauma or worry, so nothing about the characters actually changes as a result of events in the show.

Even those that do become heroes don’t really get any character growth, they are just considered to be worthy to be heroes because they are good people, but considering the qualifications of good in the show are determined by if you like Marinette, that means pretty much everyone in Marinette’s class could be a hero, aside from Chloe because HEY! SHE DOESN’T LIKE MARINETTE THEREFORE SHE’S VILLAIN!

(God I hate Miracle Queen)

Also, these problems pretty much apply to Marinette as well.

I mean, all the things she does in the show basically comes back to the same simple fact that ‘Marinette is kind and helpful’. That's it.

She helps Jagged getting some glasses, its because she is kind and helpful. Helping her classmates? Kind and Helpful? Helping Kitty Section with Costumes? Kind and Helpful? Helping Adrien? She wants to get into his pants.

(Also because she’s kind and helpful.)

Like, this isn’t bad, but nothing seems to change about her, she goes and helps people as Marinette, helps people as Ladybug, and despite this, is unaffected by the school or her life. What is she going to do post Lycee? How is she going to become a fashion designer? Work as an intern at a fashion company. Work at Gabriel Agreste’s company? Startup her own local business? The show refuses to acknowledge any of these things, despite her being a schoolgirl, because she has more important things to worry about than school. Such as being a Guardian for a box magically bound to her that will take away her memories if she tries to get rid of it.

(God Miracle Queen was a mistake, she didn’t even learn how to be a Guardian yet! )

To close things up, most of the characters in the show lack any meaningful character development, which i can safely say is due to the structure of single-story episodes in a show that has a defined ending (and therefore doesn't work) lack of care for writing these amazing characters, and just the writing in general.

Despite what some people may say about Astruc, it's clear that beyond all that, he’s not good at writing stories and characters beyond initial design, he’d rather go making one-dimensional characters and show off how amazing Marinette is, rather than allowing them to develop in any logical and meaningful way that shows the distinction between earlier and later seasons

Here’s to hoping these characters get some character development in season 4. Even if all we get is Plagg learning he likes milk.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. As always, thanks to the amazing @twin-books​ for talking to me and helping to refine my views on the characters and the show!

[zombiegurlmode]

Camren is a dead ship. Get over it bish.

I thought about whether i truly wanted to write this or not. Then again, i thought to myself, this is my vent area i will write whatever the hell i want. You no likey you getaway from me. Simple fact of life right?

So a little background story before we dice the meat and butcher it into pieces. Sony is one of those companies that i hate to love and love to hate. It all started with their almighty creation the PlayStation. Such a phenomal brand that it paved the way for the revolutionizing the gaming industry we know of today. And then lo and behold sony is also famed for killing off its own brands by their lousy marketing efforts or failed attempts. Exhibits A to C: sony vaio, sony erickson, PS Vita (probably one of their greatest massacre of all time). So when i learned that 5H were actually part of the Sony umbrella corporation, (ooo this is a reference. Hint: refer to my handle) all i could think about is who’s the next victim. Well we got our casualty right?

Anyway, next stop on our background story is i’ve heard of 5H way before i’ve learned of camren. I mean i couldn’t even be bothered whoever the hell are the members of 5H were. All i know is that i really liked their song work from home and then I listened to their other songs and appreciated some of their other songs while others not so much. Personally, i just thought of 5H before as another run of the mill generic knock off version of Spice Girls. Funnily enough, they did their own version of Spice Girls. Then i came across never be the same and instanly liked it. I never even knew that she was a former 5H member. Honestly, i still couldn’t be bothered at that time.

Fast track a few months or a year, i had a major setback with my sexuality. I encountered a colleague of mine whom i have developed strong affections for. This totally knocked me off my orbit and bothered me since A) she’s married and B) i’m in denial. I mean at the back of my head i already knew since i was young. I was just suppressing it. No need to go into details since most of us are on the same boat on this. You know the usual ploy of disasterrific coming out agenda and the whole enchalada. So to eleviate some of my concerns, i even ended up consulting professional help from a friend of mine who is practicing professionally. I learned from her that there are even conversion camps to somehow “change us back to normal”. Creepy if you ask and i’m even downplaying it. Anyway, i saw in a facebook post one of my friends attending a pride march here in the Philippines. So i gathered my courage and spoke to her and ended up coming out to her.

Fast track again, she introduced me to camren and the rest is history. I was hooked, lined, and sunk with this dead ship. And i haven’t been the same ever since. I read Bashuda’s post here (hope i got your name right). An open letter to lauren jauregui. And all she’ve said, i’m willling to bet most camren shippers underwent too. We are all looking for that special kind of love that knocks us out of our orbit, takes our breath away, and drives us crazy up the wall. The all consuming type of love that you know is worth every damn fight you’ll have to go through. And somehow, we shippers see that in camren and gives us the hope and courage that the love we all seek do truly exists in this otherwise selfish, relentless, and brutal world we all live in.

So now unto to the main agenda, Lauren’s live or podcast or whatever we call it now with becky g. All i got is that she doesn’t like being called daddy. I concede defeat you shippers arguing in wattpad can now be laid to rest. It’s now finally settled straight from the horse’s mouth. We now can definitely without a doubt say who tops. Hahahaha. Ok, just kidding. I just couldn’t resist. I mean she had it coming. I’m just feeding my crazy self. Although, you know she did say daddy’s get your sh*t *wink wonk*. You know I wouldn’t mind being called a daddy hahahaha. Again couldn’t resist. At this point, i’m just twisting her words and being playful.

Since i can’t control myself from taking shots at her words, let’s continue on with my tomfoolery. Lauren again gave us another proof. This time she proved herself again that she is in fact a living breathing meme. And this meme came into my mind:

Literally no one: ....

Lauren: you know camren is not real blah blah blah

Cs: who even ask about camren? It’s a dead ship. You said it yourself it’s not real. Get over it bish. (Honestly lauren. Joke’s on you bud)

Ok, ok, all kidding and lousy jokes aside. What i truly can take away from all her passionate speech is this LJ1 IS COMING!!!!!!

I mean denying camren again? Real shocker. News flash to me. Really i swear i almost had a gay panic in the office no less. Honestly lauren it’s 2020 and covid is out here doing it’s thing and your back reliving a dead ship no less and retelling yet again the same things you’ve said before. Oh don’t get me wrong tho. I am not downplaying in any way what you have to go through. I mean come on for crying out loud my front is still in the closet quaking like a damn moron. Look what i truly do not appreciate is why is it about the cs again huh? Come on, it’s not like we tag you in all your accounts to chant our undying faithfulness to our ship that has been turned officially into submarine. Where our beloved captain may or may not be in hiding in plain sight or maybe our delusional minds are conjuring these thoughts. Neither do we publicly declare our posts or force anyone to believe in our conspiracy theory. We have a very dedicated community much like a dedicated server where we gather like cults and study our fine specimens... sorry i meant closely observe and adore our ship. We have a special place where we can commune and comment and make fun of our created fanfics out of the very fine figments of the numerous authors’ machinations. And yet here we are people trespassing on our free space and demanding to cease and desist this atrocious camren lunacy wherein you couldn’t just possibly stumble upon camren accidentally unless you were intending to. Because as i’ve mentioned before i’ve heard of 5H and camila cabello way before i encountered the anomaly of camren. I even searched about 5H because of camila cabello’s involvement in the group. And not in one of those searches did it yield to camren. Not until i was introduced to it by a friend. And now i am clearly a camren fiend.

Anywho, quite obvious to me that the marketing for LJ1 has begun and we are now all entering the hook phase by drawing in attention by creating new drama or reliving or reenvisioning past established conflicts to fit into the narrative. Well i’m excited for its official release and that’s all i have left to say now. Have a pleasant day everyone. The madness had finally ended here.