#but the funny thing is that absolutely none of them (with the exception of jared who would have the time of his life)

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

last night I had a dream that I was in a frenzy trying to get enough eras tour tickets (6) in california for me and my friends because I knew that if they just gave her a chance they would have the time of their lives. the friends in question? the characters from silicon valley…

[ryoceann]

J2 Fanfic Rec List <3

In honour of all the j2 content we have recieved, and the amount of fanfiction I have read, I decided to make a rec-list nobody asked me for but EVERYONE has to read k? Capiche? Make sure to heed the warnings, and read the tags. These are some beautiful gems by very talented authors and I’ve only scratched the surface of it.

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The Courtship Of Jensen’s Co-Star{Masterpost} by qblackheart-  

Summary:- Somewhere in the time between a handshake and a hug, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki went from being reel-life brothers to real-life best friends, and complete strangers to cosmic soul mates, no rhyme or reason to it that either of them could ever see. Jared was everything Jensen was not: friendly, funny, and full of life; one in six-point-whatever billion the Earth’s population currently stood at. Life was awesome. Work was amazing. Everything was fine until Jared kissed Jensen. Everything was peachy until Jensen fell in love. With desperate times unexpectedly calling for desperate measures, Jensen called Chad Michael Murray for relationship advice – because being in love led to temporary insanity obviously – so it really didn't surprise him that he couldn’t seem to win when it came to wooing Jared. Still, Pisces must’ve been in a really good place in the night sky or something because suddenly, right smack dab in the middle of the miserable courtship of his co-star, Jensen discovered that maybe loving Jared was all he needed to do to win his heart. And luckily for Jensen, loving Jared was also the one thing he did best. ~112k~

The Play Nice Proviso{Masterpost} by qblackheart-

Summary:- When Jensen Ackles first met Jared Padalecki, it was most definitely not love at first sight. It wasn’t even like at first sight. In fact, Jensen hated him, and he had a few good reasons as to why. So what if his new co-star was oblivious to his one-sided warfare? Jensen could deal. Apart from when he couldn’t. So when it came down to picking between Padalecki and his peace of mind, the choice seemed clear. Except for the fact that The Network had his balls in a vice, leaving him stuck with Supernatural, stuck with his idiot co-star, and worst of all, stuck with a ‘Play Nice’ Proviso added to his contract. Well, he could play nice. He would play so nice that the world was going to think that he and Jared Padalecki were the bestest friends in the history of best friends. It was unfortunate then that no one had ever told Jensen what happened when an immovable object met an irresistible force; no one had ever thought to mention that there was a thin line between hate and love; and nothing, absolutely nothing, could have possibly prepared him for Playing Nice with Jared Padalecki. ~70k~

And The Rest, As They Say Is History by Raina_at-

Summary:- Struggling actor Jensen takes a job as big-shot movie star Jared Padalecki’s dogsitter. And the rest, as they say, is history. ~17k~

reinventing love ‘verse{Masterpost} by _mournthewicked-

Summary:- With high school graduation less than two weeks away, best friends Jared and Jensen find themselves scrambling to tie up a few loose ends before they’re forced into adulthood. Jared ropes Jensen into helping him get the alcohol for Sandy's graduation party, and what should be a simple night of partying ends up turning into a series of mishaps and misunderstandings that all come to head when Jensen finally tells Jared the secret he wasn't ever planning on spilling. If high school has to end, they're going out with a bang. (A J2 spin on the movie Superbad)  ~200k+~

My Heart Don’t Beat The Way It Used To by Raina_at- 

Summary:- Jared and Jensen have been best friends forever, and nothing’s going to ever change that, not even senior slump, or college anxieties, or even Jared getting an annoying cheerleader girlfriend. Or so Jensen thought. ~26k~

Can’t Point The Way To Your Heart by Belyste-

Summary:- AU in the vein of movies like Hitch - Jensen's an unofficial advice guru, and Jared's his latest project. Except while Jensen's supposed to be helping Jared end up with the woman of his dreams, he falls for him instead. ~33k~

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by Belyste-

Summary:- When Jared desperately needs a date for his brother's wedding, he hires an escort. Jensen's the perfect fake boyfriend, except pretty soon things get a little too real. Based on The Wedding Date. ~38k~

True Colors by muni-playground-

Summary:- Jared is a mentally challenged young man with a very special gift. Jensen is an executive with nothing in his life but work. They meet by accident and discover a connection that defies explanation. ~32k~

The Billionaire’s Reluctant Husband by house_of_lantis-

Summary:- Billionaire Jensen is a playboy and he needs a husband pronto if he wants to keep his company and his inheritance. After a chance meeting with quiet and hardworking Jared, Jensen decides that he’s found the perfect candidate. The arrogant Jensen thinks he’s got Jared in the bag, but when his new husband refuses to sleep with him and doesn’t really even seem to like him, Jensen convinces himself that he’s happy with his open marriage lifestyle. But Jensen becomes increasingly obsessed with his new husband and discovers the truth behind Jared’s dark past. ~98k~

Project Get Jared Banged{Masterpost} by soulmatecest-

Summary:- Jared's had the best stepbrother in the world in Jensen since the age of five — growing up together and more attached than usual brothers would —, only realizing that he’s in love with Jensen by the time he hits thirteen. After five more years of Jared's impossible crush, he knows his life turns and spins around his brother. Luckily for Jared, he and Jensen have always been closer than other siblings, making his feelings seem a little less hopeless. Or that is until Jensen announces he’s moving to Austin to live with his girlfriend next year, leaving Jared's perfectly built Jensen-centric world crashing to the ground. That’s when Chad and Sandy decide to convince Jared that moving on and letting go of his feelings are the only way to get through his lost love for Jensen. Yet their plan to get Jared out of his shell and over his stepbrother doesn't sit well with one person: Jensen himself, who realizes that the more Jared tries to pull away, the more he wants to get him back closer. ~120k~

Burn The Land and Boil The Sea by nyxocity-

Summary:- Eight years ago, Jared spent his entire summer on a tropical island off the coast of Mexico with Jensen. He fell head over heels for Jensen, but their lives were going separate directions at the end of the summer, and they never quite got together. Jensen left for Greenpeace and Jared went off to college—but he never truly got over Jensen. Now, in present day, Jared is a marine biologist working on a project in the gorgeous panhandle of Alaska. He’s amazed to discover the captain of the ship he’s chartered is none other than Jensen Ackles himself. Jared’s overjoyed, but Jensen is less than thrilled—he’s a changed man since that summer so long ago; withdrawn, passionless and solitary. Still something of the bond between them remains, and neither of them seem to be able to escape its pull completely. When Jared’s project leads them into danger and leaves them running and fighting for their lives, Jensen’s secrets begin to come out, drawing them back together—but can they survive long enough to figure out this thing between them? ~53k~

As This Sunset Turns to Morning{Masterpost} by _mournthewicked-

Summary:- Jensen spends his life hiding who he is from the family that would never accept him if they knew. When he’s uprooted in the middle of his senior year and suddenly becomes the new kid, his carefully placed mask begins to slip. Especially when he meets Jared – a loud, outspoken spectacle of a boy that fights for everything Jensen was taught to stand against. Jared has no problem going after what he wants, and now it’s just a matter of Jensen letting himself do the same. ~86k~

Leave My Heart Out of This by elless18- (link to the timestamps)

Summary:- AU. Jensen needs to get married in order to get his grandfather’s inheritance and open his own law firm. Jared would do anything to help his best friend. The plan is simple- pretend to date, get married, get the inheritance, get divorced. But things grow complicated when one of them starts falling for his fake boyfriend. Can they find their happily-ever-after from all the lies they’ve built around them? ~35k+~

Who Watches Over Me? by nyoxicity-

Summary:- Jensen Ackles is an ex-Navy SEAL turned civilian bodyguard with a mysterious past. Jared Padalecki is a flamboyant Hollywood star known for his action movies who's been receiving death threats. The case sounds like Jensen's idea of a nightmare, and he takes it on against his better judgment. Jared drags him to clubs and parties and award ceremonies without any care for how difficult he's making Jensen's job, and to his complete lack of surprise, they hate each other. But when hate changes into passion, it begins to reveal something deeper between them, and Jensen realizes he's in over his head. Can he still do his job and keep Jared safe? Or will he fall prey to his greatest fear and fail someone... again? ~96k~

The Billionaire’s Bidding by Raina_at-

Summary:- When idle, slacking billionaire’s son Jensen Ackles lends a helping hand to his old childhood friend, he gets a lot more than he’s bargained for. ~31k~

Hold My Whipped Cream by dimpleforyourthoughts-

Summary:- International Best Selling Author Jensen Ackles is all kinds of specific with the details of his life. He likes privacy, writing, and coffee; black, no sugar, hold the cream. He’s become a fixture at the local coffee shop, writing from his table every day for the past two years. His vices include routine, neatness, and structure. Jensen doesn’t do messes. Then there is Jared, recent post-grad basket case, who’s been coming in every day for caffeine he doesn’t need and bringing the increasing disaster in his life with him. Jared is a mess in all the ways Jensen is not and so Jensen offers to help Jared in the only way he knows how: by buying Jared a cup of coffee. ~37k~

Operation: Mistletoe by dimpleforyourthoughts-

Summary:- FBI Agent Jensen Ackles is a damn good agent, but his devil-may-care attitude, gut instinct, and sheer dumb luck have finally run out. With his job and reputation on the line, Jensen is assigned to a new partner: the overzealous and overachieving Agent Jared Padalecki. Their mission: Infiltrate a ring of drug dealers hiding out in Suburbia in the midst of the Holiday season. The only catch? They have to pretend to be head-over-heels in love with each other. ~39k~

Regaining Sense{Masterpost} by astri13-

Summary:- A vengeful crime-boss cost Jensen not only his eyesight but also a promising career with the FBI. When the man resurfaces two years later, Jensen is not thrilled to find himself taken into protective custody, even less so when the Agent in charge turns out to be Jensen's former partner and boyfriend, Jared Padalecki. Will the two men be able to overcome their differences and work together to not only stop the bad guy but also uncover the mole in their own ranks before it is too late? ~27k~

Say You’re Mine by Belyste-

Summary:- It takes his two best friends getting engaged to make Jared realize what’s missing in his own life, but once he figures it out, he’s a man on a mission: find true love or die trying. He’s not asking for much – just the perfect soul mate to spend blissful eternity with – so when a chance meeting drops Jensen into his life (and his lap), it seems like fate. But either Jensen missed that memo or fate seems to have other ideas, because nothing works out the way Jared planned. Based loosely on S1 of How I Met Your Mother, but you don't need to have seen that to know what's going on. ~56k~

Absence From Those We Love by _mournthewicked-

Summary:- Jensen Ackles led a great life. It just wasn’t the one he planned on. Now he’s newly single, stuck at a job he hates, and sharing an apartment with his lovably psychotic best friend. When he’s given the chance to go back and do it all over again, he leaps at it. Only he soon comes to realize that no matter what’s in front of him, it’s impossible to leave the past behind. Considering what he’d be giving up, he might not even want to. (17 Again - J2 Style.) ~41k~

Change The Fate’s Design by _mournthewicked-

Summary:-  All Jensen has ever wanted to do is see the ocean. Unfortunately, that's kind of hard to do when your dad won't let you leave your house in the forest because of your magical powers. So, Jensen spends most of his days with no one but his pet hedgehog to keep him company. At least, until a guy named Jared stumbles along and offers to help him realize his dream. (A J2 spin on Disney's Tangled.) ~50k~

A Spotlight On These Desolate Dreams{Masterpost} by _mournthewicked-

Summary:- In high school, Jared Padalecki had it all. He was surrounded with rich, famous, beautiful friends and partied with young Hollywood's elite. As if all of that wasn't exciting enough, he used the tricks he learned from his grandfather to become an amateur sleuth with his billionaire best friend, Jensen Ackles, playing the role of trusty sidekick. But when he got in over his head and lost everything he once held dear, he knew that it was time to move on. That was ten years ago. Now he lives the lonely life of a hardboiled private investigator on the streets of Manhattan, and his fabulous past is nothing but a distant memory. That is, until a tragedy forces him to return to California and the world he left behind. Between juggling rabid paparazzi, sarcastic detectives, and a spurned ex-best friend, it's a wonder that he can possibly find the time to solve a murder that has left the city of angels reeling. ~50k~

Break Me, Shake Me, Hate Me, Take Me Over by orphan_account- (sorry, I can’t access the author’s account but the story’s link still works!)

Summary:- When recklessness, alcohol and a bullet to his hip sees his police career end in disgrace, alpha Jensen Ackles resigns himself to a life spent in the dregs of a bottle, aimless and filled with regrets, watching as the bills and eviction notices pile up. That is, until he's offered a job and lodging with beta lawyer Samantha Smith, as a pseudo bouncer/admin worker. It's a far cry from his previous life, but it might just be what Jensen needs to drag himself from the dark place he's in. Not only that, but little does Jensen realise that taking on the position will bring him face to face with his biggest regret; the person he walked away from three years ago in what was the worst mistake of his life... ~70k~

Whiskey River, You’re All I Got by whisperedstory-

Summary:-  Jensen's life revolves around The Whiskey Sour, the bar he inherited from his grandfather nine years ago. But with too few customers and not nearly enough profit, things are taking a turn for the worse. And then Jared Padalecki walks into Jensen's life and changes everything. ~19k~

Out Of The Silence by annie46-

Summary:-  When hardened, but lonely cop, Jensen Ackles meets Jared Padalecki in his family’s diner, he doesn’t realise that his life is about to change drastically. Jared is a complete innocent, deaf, mute and unable to communicate, he needs a friend. Can Jensen be that man? ~the word count wasn’t mentioned but if i had to take a guess, I’d say something between 20k and 30k~

The Execution Of The Last Steal by soulmatecest-

Summary:- Anyone who meets Jared Padalecki would think he has the perfect life: a college degree, a normal life and an apparently perfect fiancé, Stephen Amell, the son of a Senator with a bright future. Except for one thing: it’s all based on a lie. Five years ago, he created a new identity for himself to cut all ties to his criminal past and ex-boyfriend Jensen Ackles, a world-renowned thief. But Jared can’t run forever. A threat from his past comes back looking for him and the only person who can help him is the man he thought he left behind forever, the only person Jared’s never been able to forget. Incredibly charming and just as cocky, Jensen Ackles is a thief that is too good at his job for his own good, who would do anything to protect Jared now that his life is in danger. Years have gone by, but he has never been able to forget Jared either. And perhaps now that they are forced to escape together, Jensen might be able to do what he’s best at: steal Jared’s heart one last time and win back the only person Jensen has ever loved. ~97k~

Bring Me To Life by alienat-

Summary:-  Jared’s a shy young man, whose life has never been easy. His father hates him, his mother drinks her sorrows away and his husband Paul treats him like he is nothing more than a beautiful toy. When his husband has to go away on a business trip to Europe for two months, he sends Jared away to a ranch in the middle of nowhere to keep him under control. There, Jared meets people who show him what love, friendship and loyalty mean for the first time in his life. Can he escape his life and finally find some love and happiness for himself? ~81k~

Gunpoint{Series} by felisblanco-

Summary:-  Jensen got his childhood stolen away from him when he was ten years old. Along with his memory, his voice and every emotion that wasn’t fear, hatred or anger. Question is, can Jared help him get any of it back? And more importantly, does Jensen really want him to?

Election Day by morganaDW(morgana07)-

Summary:- Jensen's running for President with the deck already stacked against him. He's come out as gay while serving in Congress, his Vice President is a colorful Misha & his family has disowned him over his choice of partners. But that's not the worst of it...On Election Day when he should be focused on winning Jared ends up shot after stepping in front of a killer's gun to save some school children. Election Day is important but to Jensen nothing is more important than Jared and he doesn't care who knows it or if he loses so long as he can be with him. It's Jensen who winds up surprised in the end. ~8k~

A Boy At An Open Door by poor_choices-

Summary:- Jensen Ackles' life is all sorted out, until a blast from the past shows up and makes him realize he's not as happy as he thought. ~10k~

Beautiful Disaster by nyoxicity-

Summary:-  Rock Band AU. Jensen’s the lead guitarist in the number one rock band in the country. Justin’s the lead singer, and they’ve been doing this together since middle-school, been together since just after high school. As on top of the world as they are, Jensen’s starting to become disillusioned with the lifestyle and his crumbling relationship with Justin. And then he meets a new roadie on the crew named Jared who’s got a voice like an angel and a heart to match, and everything starts to change. ~96k~

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And that’s the end of it!!! These are absolutely beautiful, gorgeous and epic fanfictions and will keep you buys for days! Hope y’all enjoy these, I’m off to read more sksksksksk. Let me know if a link doesn’t work, if you like any of these in my inbox and if y’all want a part 2! Peace and J2 5 ever!!!

[jawritter]

My Rescue Story

Summary: People can be cruel and judgemental, but they don’t get to see the side of him you see.

Warnings: Fluff, just tooth rotting fluff. Maybe the tiniest bit of angst at the beginning. Language, Jensen being the soft little bean that we all love so much. That’s about it.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1505

A/N: This fic is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This is just a spur of the moment fic. I figured you guys needed some fluff after I destroyed people with my last one shot, lol. As always people do not copy my work. Feedback is golden! I hope you guys enjoy this one!

Want more? Check out my Masterlist! 

***MASTERLIST***

Still not enough? Become a Patreon, and get exclusive fics and one shots!!

***BECOME A PATREON***

“STOP!” Jensen said, swatting annoyedly at Jared, who was still trying to touch the small hole in the sleeve of his shirt. 

The whole crowd roared with laughter as grumpy Jensen gave Jared the best bitch face he could muster. The one he knew everyone loved. The adorable scowl with the pouty lips and the scrunched up face. The one that made him look like Dean no matter how long his hair was, or how full his beard got.

You giggle along with the rest of the crowd as the panel continued along the lines of much of the same lighthearted, tomfoolery, that they always did. Apparently not everyone found it so funny that Jensen was acting especially grumpy on this panel. 

One of the handlers, who probably thought that you would never hear her comment over the laughter of the crowd as Jensen and Jared reenacted some story that Jared was telling, made the comment to an older woman standing next to her. 

“God, he’s such an asshole. Always in a damn mood.” 

The other woman laughed at her friend. They were obviously talking about Jensen, who was currently giving an over-exaggerated grunt as he pulled himself off of the stage floor. The crowd ate it up. They loved it when Jensen acted like that because it reminded them so much of Dean Winchester. Still, these women didn’t seem all that impressed. 

“I know, he’s always bitching on stage about something, or he’s acting like a grandpa while Jared is just trying to have a good time. He’s such a fucking killjoy,” she said, walking off the to the corner of the stage to signal the end of the panel to the boys with her friend following close on her heels. 

Rob and the band scurried around the stage, singing the last question song with Jensen as Jared helped a younger-looking fan on stage to ask the final question of the panel. 

You weren’t really paying attention at this point. Your mind was still stuck on what the handler and her friend had been saying about Jensen. 

Jensen and yourself had not been dating very long, maybe around four months, and this was your first convention to have attended. They were still going, even though the show had ended. Which was impressive all on its own. The fandom was amazing, and everyone you had met so far was great, with the exception of a few. 

How could they talk about Jensen that way? It was rude and inconsiderate, but more than that it was belligerently wrong. 

Jensen and yourself had a bit of an age gap, roughly ten years, but usually, you didn’t even notice it all that much. He wasn’t an asshole by any means. He’d literally give the shirt off his back if he saw someone who needed it more than he did. 

He wasn’t grumpy all the time. Hell, he and Jared had just been trying to shock Rob with one of those handheld, gag gift buzzer things before he got on stage. He usually carried such a light with him. He had a way of making everyone around him smile, and if he knew someone was having a bad day, he’d work especially hard to do so. 

He in no way was a “grandpa”. 

They didn’t know him. They didn’t know your Jensen. So why would they feel they had the right to talk about him in such a way? 

You would never understand why certain people made it their life goal to look down on and talk about people, just because they were miserable; and the more you thought about it the more you felt sorry for those two women. They apparently had such a bleak outlook on things if they were going to take Jensen, who is an actor by trade, ACTING on stage for the crowd so seriously!

That’s not Jensen’s real personality, none of that is. It is all for the entertainment of the people that came to see them. Sure, there was some of his true personality mixed in there as well. There were moments when he’d get emotional, or when they would ask a question that hit home with him. 

He was human, just like everyone else. Being human means you're imperfect. Jensen, like everyone else, had his flaws, but “asshole” was not one of them. 

“Hey Princess, you ready to go head up to our room?” Jensen’s voice intruded on your inner grumbling as he slipped up behind you, and wrapped his arms around your middle.

As soon as the smell of his cologne surrounded you, your anxiety immediately started to fade away, and you leaned back into him, laying your head on his broad shoulder. 

You could feel the stares of the handlers that had just been talking so badly about him, but you ignored them. 

“Hey you, you don’t want to go get something to eat first?” you quested him, looking up into his piercing green eyes for a moment before he quickly brushed his lips over your own in what really wasn’t a kiss, but more of just a soft little touch that Jensen seemed to love to do when he thought no one was looking. 

“Not really, I just want to go upstairs and cuddle with my girl until I fall asleep,” he mumbled, completely ignoring all other people in the room. You knew the longer you both stood there like that, the more attention you will attract. You were sure there would be pictures later of this, but you didn’t care, and neither did Jensen. 

This was the real Jensen. Not some grumpy little smart ass on stage, though like everyone Jensen had his moments they were few and far between. 

He was the guy you always dreamed you’d find. So loving, and soft. He craved your affection and you craved his. You’d never get enough of him, of this.

You could tell that he was tired. It had been a long flight the night before with layovers due to weather, and then the time zone difference always was a bitch, plus he’d been working nonstop. If he wanted a little cuddle time, how could you deny him that? 

See, a relationship is more than just sex. I mean most everyone loves sex, and sex with Jensen was always absolutely phenomenal and mind-blowing. I mean come on, the man was 42 years old, sure, but he had the body of a damn Greek God; and he knew just how to use it. 

It was about the tender little touches. It was about the fact that even though he was tired, he wanted to take a shower with you, just to be closer to you. Just so he could take his time pampering you just a little while. It was in the way he held you so close to him as the water sprayed down over his broad back and shoulders, that you could feel his heartbeat through his well-sculpted chest while his finger traced lightly over the wet skin of your back. 

It was in the little kisses, and soft brushes of his lips against yours as you lay in the dark hotel room together, nothing between the two of you but skin. Slow, sweet. No needy hurry to get somewhere. Not all teeth and tongue. It was in the lazy way his lips moved slowly against your own, stealing away your breath as well as your heart.

It was in the way his hands barely moved over your skin while your hands brushed their way through his hair. His fingers played with little patterns that only he could see across the exposed skin of your shoulder. Every little touch made your heart feel like it could fly out of your chest, and flutter around the room. 

The way he looked at you. As if you were his everything, his entire world! He could have anyone, but he’d chosen you. 

Time like this, just time spent together. That’s what really felt like it drew you closer together. Connecting your very souls. Time falling asleep in each other's arms with his warm breath fanning over across your neck as his breathing became deeper and more even. You let your eyes wander over his freckle dusted skin. His face was soft, and his features relaxed, more relaxed right now than you’d seen him be in at least a week.

This was him, your Jay. The soft, loving, painfully handsome man that had the biggest heart you had ever seen in anyone. 

He was your rescue story, and he didn’t even know it. He saved you from yourself. He saved you from the self-loathing, and self-doubt, showing you that you were beautiful. He showed you that you could be strong and that you were special. You probably wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him. 

So let those people think what they wanted too, they didn’t get to see what you saw. Your Jay, your world, your heart. Your rescue story.

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[panlight]

What are your favorite Bella moments? What are her weakest moments? When does she shine and when is she badly-written OR just not a very good person?

Going to James to save her mom is a good moment, character-wise. I think plot-wise it’s kind of clunky but that’s not a Bella-as-a-character problem. And she has some really nice moments in Midnight Sun! She was always good at the big, martyr-y gestures in the original books but we didn’t get to see much in the way of everyday small acts of kindness, and MS fixed that. I loved her sticking up for Eric when everyone else was making fun of him about Comic Con, or inviting the outcast stoner girl no one wanted in their group to work with her. That’s the kind of stuff that was missing in the original books. 

She also is legitimately funny in the books! Much more sarcastic and lively than we get in the movies. The movies cut out a lot of the more funny, playful banter moments, which is a shame. 

Least favorite Bella moments are:

a) making Edward sit out the fight in Eclipse. I just . . . no one else has that option. None of the other Cullens asked their mate to sit it out. Emily didn’t make Sam sit out.  Kim didn’t ask Jared.  Billy and Sue didn’t ask their kids to sit it out, etc. Bella can’t bear the thought of anything happening to Edward but all these other people have to risk people they love, too, and while this isn’t her “fault” (she’s not responsible for Victoria’s choices) it is still ABOUT her, and it feels wrong that she pulls Edward out of it. To be fair Bella does acknowledge it’s kind of a crappy thing for her to do, but she still does it anyway. It would have made WAY more sense for her to have hung out with the imprints and parents in La Push, protected by some of the younger wolves like Seth. Then she could commiserate with other ‘weak’ humans worried about the supernaturals they love. It’s framed as “Edward and I can’t be apart so either he sits it out or I’m at the fight” but . . . her being at the fight makes absolutely no sense as a human, and again it’s not like the people in La Push who aren’t shapeshifters aren’t also going to be separated and worried. She wasn’t the only one going through that here, but she and the narrative make it out like she is.

and b) that part in Volterra where she’s mad at herself for crying about people being murdered in the next room because it means she can’t see Edward’s face clearly.

I knew it was stupid to react like this. Who knew how much time I had to look at his face? He was saved, and I was saved, and he could leave me as soon as we were free. To have my eyes so filled with tears that I could not see his features clearly was wasteful—insanity. But, behind my eyes where the tears could not wash the image away, I could still see the panicked face of the tiny woman with the rosary. 

It’s just . . . not a Good Look, imo. I get you are madly in love and he’s gorgeous and you’ve missed him but people are literally being eaten nearby; gazing at his perfection is not that important. People are being murdered! By vampires! And then she’s horrified that Gianna wants to be a Volturi vampire and I know Bella specifically wants to be a Cullen vampire but all of them except Carlisle (and Rosalie on a technicality--killed, but never for blood) have killed people, too! There’s nothing she could realistically DO about the people being eaten, but being annoyed at herself for feeling bad about it because it cut into her staring at Edward time was . . . strange. 

[sochilll]

Thoughts about the deh movie? What did you like, what did you not like?

I have SO many thoughts and I’m sure other people are gonna explain them much better so I’ll give you a top 5 on each side. (Also I did make a long ass story highlight of all my thoughts on my insta @ be_more_sochill always be plugging). Under the read more cause it’s long and for spoilers!

Likes

Jared Kalwani does is gay! I think they handled it pretty well. They just switched an existing line bragging about a girl to make it about a guy and gay him a pride patch! The “honey” moment was…….. a choice. But I didn’t think it was a big deal considering the tone of that scene. All around it was fun n good and makes sense that it wasn’t a major plot point given that Jared’s love life isn’t relevant to the story

Alana gets feelings! There was a lot of Alana changes I didn’t love tbh. But I really liked the scene of her talking to Evan in the park. It was a good connection moment and showed that while Alana feels the same as Evan, she actually sees that feeling in others too whereas Evan thinks he’s the only one.

Maybe cheating to make these two points but: Anonymous Ones! I really liked this song. It was good as a song, miss Amandla Stenberg has a beautiful voice, and it was good character development. I am disappointed they missed the fucking PERFECT opportunity to show a clip of Jared during the school shots god that would’ve been so good. But anyway, I really liked the addition

They gave us a few little kleinsen treats such as: Jared randomly telling Evan he put on 13 pounds of muscle and hooked up with some guy, and of course, Jared looking at a video of Evan and Zoe and being visibly upset literally in the middle of Only Us. Chefs kiss thank you

I did like the new ending of Evan actually trying to learn about Connor. Reading his favorite books, reaching out to old friends, finding the video. I felt like that showed how everything hit him and how he actually did care about what they were doing. I really liked that he sent the flash drives to Alana and Jared too.

Dislikes

Evan (and everyone else) isn’t responsible for anything. Other people have already talked about this but they removed everyone’s agency pretty much until the only people making bad decisions were people (like Alana) who didn’t *know* they were making them. Almost every single choice Evan makes in the stage version is taken from him. Cynthia literally just comes up with the idea of emails so Evan just has to agree. Alana comes up with the Connor Project and Evan says *no* at first before being pressured into it. Evan doesn’t even kiss Zoe or make the first (or any) move at all with her. There’s no mention of Cynthia and Larry making mistakes in regards to helping Connor except like one line before words fail. Plus, making Larry a step dad completely changes his role into like a hero for raising this difficult kid who “wasn’t his” or whatever. Jared is no longer the driving force behind Evan lying. He softly suggests that it would upset the Murphy’s to know the truth one time. He doesn’t freak Evan out and tell him he needs Jared’s help to pull it off. Everything is perfectly set up for Evan to just quietly nod along without doing anything himself. It undermines the message of the original show. It’s ABOUT people doing bad things. It’s about guilt and regret and GROWING from your mistakes. That can’t happen if no one is to blame.

Alana is very different. She’s quiet and you can sort of tell she has some stuff going on. Which is ???? The opposite of how she’s supposed to be. The whole point of her character was to show that even the loud, confident, outgoing, always good attitude girl feels alone and scared and sad. That doesn’t come across when her self doubt is prominent right away. It’s not as big of a shock when she gets her “I know what it’s like to feel invisible!” Moment. Maybe that’s why they didn’t even let her have it. She literally had to *whisper* her confrontation with Evan. Like they were so afraid to let her raise her voice they made her confront Evan for lying to her about this horrible thing in the library. Let her fucking yell!

Zoe and Evan’s getting together was so fucking weird. Without Evan kissing Zoe first, she doesn’t even know he likes her before launching into her love song for him. But more importantly, Only Us is not a “let’s start dating” song??? The lyrics are clearly about people who have been together. “What we’ve got going is good”??? What have you got going? A weird friendship where he’s trying to steal your parents???? It didn’t make sense. Also I don’t like how Zoe is the one to say “I wish we could’ve met now” at the end. I feel like it doesn’t make sense/feel right for her to say it.

Heidi. I’m sorry Julianne Moore but I can’t stand movie Heidi. She has zero emotion. The good for you fight was just SO boring and bland. She sounded vaguely annoyed. That scene is supposed to be SAD. Yeah she’s angry with Evan but she’s also SO heartbroken that he’s found this other family he loves so much. She’s hurt that he’s apparently been telling them how bad his home life is. She feels like she’s not doing enough for him and that makes her both sad and angry. In the stage version she’s on the verge of tears and she’s yelling and RBJ kills it. I got none of that from the movie. It was just a tense conversation. And because of that, Evan’s final “it’s not my fault other people can” had absolutely none of the punch it usually does. That’s a *gasp* moment in the show. It fell so flat. (I also didn’t like her version of so big/so small for similar reasons. She didn’t seem all that affected by Evan’s reveal :/)

And of course the biggest offense to me personally. Jared got fucked over so bad. They removed anything that gave him any development. Not just didn’t expand on it, fully removed it. He’s basically gone for the second act. He’s way less involved with the lying and the emails and TCP. And once the initial “I can do emails” plot is out of the way he’s just gone. He gets a few reaction shots looking at his phone and that’s it. And the worst part to me is the fact that they added those shots anyway. They put them in there to SHOW that Jared was upset. And then they just DIDNT RESOLVE IT HE DIDNT GET TO CONFRONT EVAN AT ALL. THEY DIDNT EVEN SPEAK IT JUST HARD CUTS TO “oh it’s graduation and we’re friends again”. It completely erases Jared’s entire character. He also feels alone and desperately wants to connect (specifically with Evan). We know that through the bits of him we see in the show ESPECIALLY during good for you. And they trashed all of that so he could be the funny side character.

Bonus dislike: they showed the scene of Evan falling so many fucking times and it was just so tasteless. Like… why was that necessary.

All in all I did enjoy it as a separate entity but comparing it to the stage version which I love so much, it was so, so disappointing for me. However I will be watching it 17 more times. Long live Nik Dodani Jared.

[totallypathet]

Episode Seven

I am being very inconsistent with my breakdowns this season. Both with Drag Race and in general 😂

Anyway, the reading challenge! We love the reading challenge. Nearly everyone had at least 1 good roast, except for Miss Elliott. I dont know what she was trying to do, but none of it worked. On the plus side though, Gottmik was hilarious? I just wasn't expecting that from her, but I love it. Honestly though I think my favourite was Olivia Lux's "Kandy Ho...wait, I mean Kandy is a hoe" that was so funny! Rosé and Denali were also really funny, but I kind of loved everyone else's reads for Rosé, I feel like she brought out the best in people 😂

I wasn't super excited for Bossy Rossy to come back. I just think improv is *so* hard, and it's really easy to be tripped up. Having said that, I actually really enjoyed this episode. I felt like all the scenarios were just so ridiculous that actually it worked in everyone's favour.

1. Denali

Denali was so funny this week! I was not expecting physical comedy from her and Rosé, but they absolutely killed it. The outfits and the voices were properly giving me Jerry Springer, and omg PREGNANTE just killed me! They were actually genuinely funny!

And her look this week...I actually gasped when she turned the corner. It was such a beautiful look, and I really felt that like grand chandelier thing she was going for. I loved it, and I think Denali should have been top 3 this week instead of Kandy. The judges are sleeping on Denali and I don't get it. I think she's great!

2. Elliott with Two Ts

I barely even want to talk about Elliott this week. Nothing she did was funny. Nothing she did this week was enjoyable. She was bad in the sketch. The runway look was ugly and tacky. I'm bored. She wasn't even that good in the lipsync, I do not understand why she's still there.

I mean, I feel for her with her struggle with depression, that's really hard, and I know that it does isolate you from people, and I understand why she's been very detached from the rest of the cast. I feel for her, and I really hope she has a good support system around her; but her performance this week (and every other week) was still bad.

3. Gottmik

Gottmik was actually so funny this week. She really was that like soft spoken, condescending, hand gestures, "active listening" faux-psychologist; I loved it. I really bought the character, I thought she was funny, she worked really well with Olivia, and also that look? The pink suit? Amazing. Also she had so many little throwaway mime one liners that were so clever! She was kind of unfortunate in that Olivia was really the standout performer in that group, and that other groups also performed really well, because I think she was a real contender for top 3 this week.

I looooved Gottmik's runway. The big anal bead hair piece? Amazing. And the dress being all that one colour, but with the texture of the beads and the latex? Perfect. And the way she painted her face! I just loved it, it was beads in a really unconventional way, and I love that about Gottmik, she always brings her perspective. The only thing, and it is such a teeny tiny thing, is that I wish the shoes had had more of a "round" feeling? Like everything else felt like latex balls and then the shoes were just like red pumps. I wish they'd been more like those McQueen heels Gaga wore, that were really rounded? It's such a small thing though, like the look was perfect, I'm just being super picky!

4. Kandy Muse

I dont really understand why Kandy was top 3 this week. I do like that she tried something different, and I like that she was aiming for this very cold, Paris Hilton type thing, but I just don't think she went far enough with it. The sketch as a whole was funny, but for me the humour came from Symone.

The look this week though. Kandy Muse has never looked better. She looked amazing! That big hat, with the big fur stole, and the beads just dripping off everything, it was so perfect. I just loved it.

5. Lala Ri

I actually don't think Lala was that bad this week! Was she utterly hilarious in her performance? No, but improv is hard, and she gave it her absolute best. I actually thought she was pretty funny, I loved the pregnancy belly being totally the wrong skin colour, I thought the trust fall thing was a really funny idea, I dont think she did too badly! Also, there was a moment right before the trust fall where she was counting Rosé in, and she just went "one, FALL", and that was so much funnier than they gave it credit for. For me, it was a safe performance.

I also really liked her look! It immediately gave me beads, I loved the kind of carnivale presentation she gave, I enjoyed it! Okay, the body suit had a rip in it, but sometimes shit happens when you're putting on a garment okay? I forgive the rip. I do get that, okay, it's a body suit with basically a beaded bikini, I see that. But honestly, I just don't think anything Lala did this week was THAT bad. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I just felt safe to me.

Lala didn't deserve to go this week. She was better than Elliott in the challenge, her runway look was better than Eliott's, and she beat Elliott in the lipsync. I do not understand the judging on this show. Bottom 2 should have been Utica and Elliott, and Elliott should have gone.

6. Olivia Lux

Olivia made me so happy this week. I mean, she makes me happy every week, I am fully an Olivia Stan, but oh my god. She killed it this week! She said like 3 words the whole time, but I could barely take my eyes off her! When they were talking through parts in the work room, I was ao worried about her, and I was so concerned that she'd fade into the background because she couldn't talk, but holy shit she was so funny! She had the energy, she went so over the top with her actions, I was not at all expecting that slapstick type funny from her but she delivered. Olivia's performance was absolutely my favourite this week, I was just so blown away by her.

Also, that runway look was amazing! I loved her interpretation of beads, it was so cute, and so fun, and she really embodied that kind of pre-teen joy and care-free spirit. I just loved it. It seems like she's worked a lot with Mondo Guerra on her runway looks this season, which I live, because I adore Mondo, and every week I can't wait to see what she's wearing!

7. Rosé

I was really impressed with Rosé! Her and Denali were so funny together, and Rosé in particular was really funny with "Jared", like she never forgot that there was meant to be an invisible boyfriend next to her; she was holding his hand, she looked at him like he was really there, it was amazing. I was genuinely really impressed with Rosé this week.

Where I felt like she fell down a little bit was with her runway. Was it cute? Absolutely. Was it amazing? No. It just didn't give me anything, I didn't get a story, or a character, or a feeling, it was just "oh, that looks good". Which is fine, but it doesn't win challenges, you know?

8. Symone

Deboooorah! I loved Symone this week. I actually loved that their sketch wasn't massive high energy and screaming and yelling, because that wasn't the characters they were given. They did such an amazing job of being the child stars crying on Oprah's sofa type characters, and I actually loved it. Also, the candle thing was hysterical, Symone holding a candle that says "desperation" and crying was just so funny to me. She absolutely sold me the character, I was really getting a Real Housewives moment where they're like "I'm starting my own business where I'm going to make my own candles!" And then they get really emotional about it. I loved it so much, she was hilarious this week.

And Symone's look! My flatmate and I were literally applauding in our front room. It was perfect. It was beautifully made, all the proportions were perfect, the colour palette was gorgeous, the attention to detail was everything, I loved it so much. AND SHE HAD HER NAME IN HER HAIR! The beads in her hair spelled out SYMONE. Everything about it was perfect.

I really couldn't pick this week whether Symone or Olivia was going to win, and honestly I didn't mind either way. They were both just so incredible.

9. Tina Burner

You guys. I am bored of Tina Burner. I can't believe I'm saying it either. But she walked in being really like campy and fun, and then just sort of flatlined. I didn't think she was that funny this week. Even next to Elliott, the least funny queen in the whole line up, she didn't seem like the funny one. I am disappointed. The only bit of their sketch that was funny was them fighting with the huge ass and tits. That was just so ridiculous that it was funny.

I'll tell you what else, I've already forgotten what she wore on the runway. I watched this episode less than 24 hours ago, and yet I've got to go back and watch it again so I remember Tina. And then I remembered why it didn't stick in my mind. I don't know what she was thinking but...she's lucky the judges liked her challenge performance. Also, it looked like a worse version of Crystal Methyd's entrance look with some beads stuck on. Didn't get it, didnt like it, still waiting for Tina to wear something good on the runway.

The one thing I will say about Tina this week is that we really saw her be a human with Elliott, and I really loved that. That was the first time this season that I've really liked Tina. I appreciate that she gave Elliott that pep talk, and that she said that thing in her confessional about being a bit judgmental and feeling guilty about it, I really appreciated that, and I feel like we saw a real person. I want more of that!

10. Utica

Utica... I don't think she's long for this competition, I'm afraid. She literally started this week saying she's a scene stealer, and she does improv regularly, and she was really excited for this challenge...what happened? I was lost, during her whole performance. First of all, she was supposed to be Olivia's mum, hadn't seen her for 20 years, but she came out looking like a 19 year old? I think she was aiming for that like "mutton dressed as lamb" type look, those mom's who are like "me and my daughter always get confused for sisters!" thing, but she didn't go far enough with it. It just didn't work. And then the Starbucks thing? Didn't get that either. The one thing I will give her is I loved that she shushed Olivia when Olivia was like copying the hand gestures in a really mocking way, I thought that was so funny. But other than that... Utica should have been lipsyncing this week, honestly. She wasn't funny. Where were the jokes??

The only things that saved her this week was the look. It was stunning. I dont really know what else to say about it, because it was just gorgeous. It was beautiful, but a bit twisted and freaky, and tragic all in one. Stunning.

The other thing I want to say about this week is that moment when they were doing makeup, and Kandy was being Maury, and Lala was running around the workroom having just been told Tina was not the father of her children, followed by Mik the camera operator and Elliott the sound tech? Hilarious. That was the funniest bit of the whole episode, I was creasing 👌👌

For me, the top 2 of the season are Olivia and Symone. I've thought that since the very first episode, and honestly, the others are great (mostly), but to me they just aren't on the same level as Olivia and Symone. They're just both amazing, they're so funny, and so talented, and incredible performers, and absolute Stars on the runway.

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

[whence-the-woody]

Finale commentary under the cut

So I wanted to kind of liveblog as I was watching but held back so these are my remembered reactions/second watch reactions

Bummed there was no song recap but quickly figured itd play at the end

PUPPY. Best part of the ep, lbr, Dean was so cute with him

Theyre really doing a cheesey life montage huh - still not clear whether monsters are a thing in this new world?

I was watching the mins tick by during this first montage like OKAY we get it, cheesey happy home life, move along. There was only 40 mins left of the whole show like get on with it, it went way too long 

We definately needed to restablished that Sam is neat while Dean is messy. Totally necessary to spend time on that. Also didnt Dean get houseproud when they moved into the bunker?? What happened to that?

OMG get on with it

Then becomes apparent that hunting is still a thing. Which if so what was the point of showing then doing fucking laundry and dishes while “Ordinary life” plays - if its not just an ordinary life?

At this point i thought it might go the route of them being listless without hunting as a job but then murder scene so I guess not

This whole pie sequence is stupid and a waste of time, we all know it

Dean being a cold, heartless bitch about everyone being dead. Aces. Not unexpected but still just great. How dare you be so happy about pie fuck you dude. 

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER EILEEN

Pie is the face is not funny my dudes come the fuck on

I started skipping through during the murder scene. I was bored. Like, I dont care about tension building to the murder of a family we dont fucking know. Ive always skipped these scenes, what is the damn point. Its not scary or interesting. 

GET ON WITH IT

Same old FBI bullshit. Nice to see the journal again I guess. But like, this is STILL what we’re doing? In the very last ep? Same old, different day, just like 15 years ago. Really?

Singer and Kripke. Subtle. 

I skipped through the interrogation too. I dont find the scary brother act cool or entertaining 

15 mins in and nothing has happened

Theyre trying so hard to give Dean jokes and nothing is landing, its so cringe just stop

The way the little clown faces pop up - if that supposed to be scary? Really? Its all just so silly rn

Watching it again I realise just how easy this hunt is. The answer is in the journal. They find the exact family. They find the exact barn. The kids are just stood in a cupboard. This is what takes Dean out, really? Its not even a normal hunt, its a way too fucking easy one. 

I do not remember this chick or what ep she was in, maybe theres some parallell or foreshadowing by bringing her back but if there is I dont get it

Bottom line if youre gonna bring people back WHY THE FUCK THIS RANDOM GIRL

I knew so fast he was gonna go out like that. Hanging from a fucking nail

I kept saying out loud not like this, no way, this is so stupid, its so stupid omg

I paused and tried to talk myself into putting aside how stupid and awkward it was for him to be doing this scene hanging off a pole and just try to invest in the emotion of the speech. Which I achieved at times

but why was is so awkward tho?? Just the way hes stood pressed against it is fucking weird. Also 1000% Sam couldve gotten help and he wouldve been FINE. It took so long for them to talk, an ambulance couldve been there before they were done, there was no need for this

Okay the speech did make me cry once I pep talked myself into being invested. The reference to being scared Sam would reject him, the I love you so much, Sam saying dont leave me, the stay with me and tell me its okay - all those moments got me and I did cry. I appreciated the family business line. I liked Jensen telling Jared he always keeps fighting, that was a nice reference. 

BUT there were also those moments that made me scoff, roll my eyes or laugh. The whole “always you and me” bullshit especially. The second I knew he was going to say I’ll be in your heart I yelled at them to no do it, I hate that cheesey move, then literally was like “oh my god, he did it”. It WAS NOT always going to end like this - so much of the last 15 years was proving him wrong about that. This is all just so wrong, it is not good. 

Jensen and Jared did a good job with what they were given in this scene but my god

The audacity of the Cas erasure- always you and me. FUCK YOU. 

I laughed out loud when his last shot was a One Perfect Tear. I was literally like “Oh wow they did that”

DEAN DESERVED A BETTER DEATH

It also kinda loses all impact when you see him like 2 mins later

MIRACLE IS THE REAL MVP ILY

Theyre really doing another montage. Really. Like we get it, hes sad, we didnt need the toast to understand that

Omg Miracle by his side. The best of bois. 

Looking around his room like beer and guns was all dean was. Sure. Aces. 

I choose to believe Bon Jovi was a ref to before Dean went to hell

If Donna is back why isnt anyone else?!?

Oh Jared you look so old bby. Go home. He looks older there then later in the ridiculous make up

Why is that shot made to look like hes leaving the bunker forever?? Like that makes no sense

Bobby greeting him is nice and all BUT IT SHOULDVE BEEN CAS

Also they are 1000% doing the show don’t tell by having Bobby just sit and explain everything. SO FUCKING LAZY

Cas has been out of the empty, helping rebuild heaven. Okay, fine. Even Dean’s reaction to hearing that was fine. BUT YOU ASK WHERE YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND IS AND GO SEE HIM. WHO IS THIS VERSION OF DEAN WTF

I know people are upset Cas is back working in heaven but I dont think its anything like before. It sounds like he helped fixed things then got his own heaven. Also he’s God’s Dad, hes not serving God, hes teaching him. I know human Cas done right is what we wanted but I dont hate this for him. BUT WE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING SEEN IT. 

Why is a memory of being a kid with his Dad what Dean is reminiscing on. They have literally reverted him back to s1. There are so many memories dean should be thinking about in fucking heaven

Hes going for a drive

Hes going for a motherfucking drive

In the car he was just in

WHY THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE HE HASNT SEEN BABY IN YEARS WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Hes going to drive around doing nothing until Sam gets there are you fucking kidding me. Not going to see any of his family from the last 15 years, just driving. Absolute horseshit. 

This is the moment where you realise that this episode has changed NOTHING. This is the same ending as the last ep except theyre in heaven not on earth

ITS THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING

Okay so they skip over how Sam went from going on a hunt to walking with a toddler. OMG how unsubtle that they have literally just labelled the child Dean in big yellow letters. I couldnt help but laugh, how fucking stupid. 

I did get a bit teary when the music started I’ll be honest. But mostly through the whole montage (ANOTHER ONE) I was saying to myself This is so fucking stupid. omg this is dumb, what the fuck is this, so stupid.

They literally did a montage so long they had to play the song twice. Im just done at this point wow. 

The old man make up is so bad I just laughed. The only pictures being of the 4 of them, reinforcing the Winchester only bullshit, great. Not even pics of this new random family Sam’s got. The painfully cliche Dad moments for Sam, again so bad its funny. Omg the hand on the head of this random kid, this is so ridiculous. Old man sam in his bad wig trying so hard to move like hes old and crying in the impala. Wtf is happening, this is SO STUPID 

I thought theyd cast a more attractive son I’ll be honest. So he has the tattoo - are they a hunting family? Because that would go against both s1 Sam they’ve tried to go back to and the s15 Sam they build up to for all those years

I know they were going for an emotional parallel with that “you can go now” but this random man saying it to Sam in that make up, with the music cue lined up right there - its just funny coz its so dumb im sorry

I cant believe they actually played another different version, I’ll never get over that

Theres alot of things I’ll never get over

Is this bridge supposed to mean something? They shouldve picked a setting that meant something

I know theyre trying so hard to make Dean look happy and peaceful to convince us its a good ending but sis no

I laughed out loud when Dean turned around - WHAT IS THAT OUTFIT SAM?

Really, they have nothing to say? No questions, no convo? They just have cheesey smiles and look over the water? This is so wrapped up in a fucking bow trying to force us to feel good my god

The cut almost immediately to them talking to the camera, still in character getup, was so cringe I yelled and turned it off

And they pan out to literally none of the people we want to see . Great, Good. 

LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT 

[all-of-the-imagines-for-eve]

I Got You Beat ~ Paul v/s. Jacob (Part One)

A/n: heavily focused on Friend!Bella, Paul x reader. I started this with intentions for a completely different story and it kind of turned into something else entirely because I really can’t write a story without a happy ending. I’m fragile okay?

Pairings: Jacob Black x reader, Paul Lahote x reader, Reader x friend!Bella Swan, Bella Swan x Edward Cullen, (slight) Bella Swan x Jacob Black

Word Count: 4467

Song Suggest: “I Think I Got You Beat” from Shrek the musical is the song that prompted this, but it’s just for the mood of it, not the lyrics lol.

MASTERLIST

I think I got you beat, I think I got you beat!

Y/n and Bella had been friends since the beginning. They were neighbors and despite the distance that there was between them, Y/n was often at the Swan's house to help clean or make meals because her mom was usually gone and her dad was long out of the picture and Charlie had kind of taken her under his wing. Y/n also showed Bella around on the first day of school and kept away the creepers. She tried to warn Bella about the Cullens... but Bella listens to no one. Not even the Cullens.

Bella knew that Y/n was dating Paul Lahote, someone from the rez she'd never met. The girls would stay up late during sleepovers or on the phone talking about their boyfriends and how in love they were. Then Y/n pulled away from Bella and suddenly she went MIA altogether. Bella went to her house only to find out she and Paul had broken up. Y/n wouldn't give any details and Bella left it alone, understanding that everyone had their secrets and there are some things you just can't tell other people. Especially when it came to love.

When Bella's birthday passed and Edward left with the rest of the Cullens, any traces of him completely disappearing except the wisps of them in people's memory, Bella basically died. Even worse than Y/n who had at least gone to school, Bella wouldn't even respond to people. Y/n was worried sick, putting her own feelings aside to tend to her friend in every way she could think to. But no matter how hard she tried, nothing ever worked.

Jacob Black and Y/n had become friends through Bella, even though Y/n refused to answer any questions about Sam and his gang. The two finally got Bella out and going, though her sudden taste for adventure didn't seem to be any healthier than the sitting around and zoning out. Things seemed to be going well for a while and Y/n was happy to see Jacob and Bella getting closer. Bella was sure Y/n didn't know about the vampiric activity in her past but... sometimes she wondered.

Just as everything was finally setting toward the happily ever after ending finale, Jacob dropped out. Bella broke down all over again and Y/n was there to hold her. Bella couldn't help but think Y/n wasn't all that surprised though, even when they found out that Jacob had joined Sam's gang and that things were really weird. Every time Bella tried to bring it up Y/n would simply state that she hadn't been as close to Jake as Bella was and that she had come to terms with it sooner in order to be there for Bella.

Bella wasn't having it.

"You can't go to Jake's!" Y/n wailed, finally snapping after an entire hour of going back and forth with Bella.

The two girls were millimeters apart. "Why not?" she demanded.

Y/n grunted, her teeth grinding together as she breathed through her nose, trying not to say too much. "He's in a gang now. He's separating himself from us. Did you think maybe he wants you to leave him alone?" Instantly Y/n felt bad. Bella looked as if she'd been slapped. "Look," she breathed. "I'll go with you to Jakes house. We'll talk to him." Bella smiled. "But if he says to go away, we drop it and move on okay?" Bella glared. Y/n moved closer, sighing again. "You've been through absolute Hell, I know... but if he needs space, you have to respect that. Okay?"

After a second, Bella nodded then quietly added, "If he leaves..."

"Then I'll be right by your side," Y/n eased. The girls shared a tender look before moving to Bella's truck, getting in. Y/n knew what would happen. They would turn them away and Jake would know that Bella was in good hands because Y/n did know more than Bella even realized. More than Bella knew. Y/n knew about the vampires and the wolves and the Volturi ad the stories and the truth behind them. She knew everything because at one time she had been in a forever relationship with Paul Lahote... until everything was ruined.

Y/n pushed that out of her mind though and watched the road as they got closer to the Black house, praying to anyone she could thin of that Paul wouldn't be there.

- Reader POV -

Of course, I couldn't have luck with anything ever.

The situation spiraled far beyond what I had thought would happen. I got Billie to let us in at least since I only needed to give him one look to communicate I had a plan. He told us that Jake was asleep and that's when everything spiraled out of control. We were planning on waking him up in a bit since Bella refused to leave without hearing the word out of Jake's mouth, but then THEY showed up.

I saw them before Bella did, my hand flying out on instinct a second before Jared whooped to let Billie know they were coming, probably for Jake. Bella didn't even register me as her eyes landed on Sam and the pack. One second she was next to me and the next she was gone and I had only the option of chasing after her. We were a foot away from the pack before I grabbed Bella's arm pulling her to a stop before she reached Sam. "Bella no!" I kept my eyes down, desperately avoiding looking at them. I still felt their eyes on me though.

Bella ripped her arm out of my grasp but didn't move as I clung onto her, her eyes landing on me finally and the traveling to HIM, realizing the situation I was suddenly in. My equivalent of Edward was not even a foot away... But she took yet another selfish moment and stepped forward, seeking answers. "What did you do to him?" She sneered.

"What did we do?" His voice made me seize up. "What did he tell you?"

I grabbed at Bella but she continued to pull away from me and we moved steadily closer to the boys. "Nothing! He won't tell me anything. He's- scared of you!" I flinched as Jared busted up laughing, pissing Bella off even more. Except I knew what was funny, and I was growing steadily more uneasy. My stomach turned and twisted and I was sure I was about to throw up any second. "You think that's funny?" Bella seethed.

Someone stepped forward. "You don't know anything, Isabella Swan. Go home before you get into real trouble." I found myself unable to stop her when she stepped up and slapped him.  wanted to slap him myself, before Bella had a real reason to do it. The repercussions sent me flying forward though as Paul began to heave and hiss. I pushed Bella backward, my arms flying wide as I blocked her from his view, locking eyes with him. He stepped back and so did I as he wolfed out. I froze, unable to move. I had never seen him shift before.

We stood face to face, my eyes filled with awe and his with anger. "Y/n!" Bella and Jake screamed behind me. None of the other boys moved to stop or back me up though, and Jake soon settled for wolfing out behind me, sending Bella screaming my name again as he moved to my side, nudging me. I still didn't budge.

Slowly my emotion came back to me as I ached to reach my hand out and run my fingers through his fur and my face twisted in pain, my eyes tearing up. Paul saw the look in my eyes and moved back, whimpering quietly. I turned away, my blood rushing in my ears s I took off as fast as I could. Bella called my name yet again but I didn't stop even for a second. I kept running and running until I was far in the woods and my lungs were screaming. My foot caught on something and I went tumbling, the tears knocked out of me by the jerking halt before I ever hit the ground.

Pushing myself up,  tried and failed to swallow my sobs. They disobeyed me, ripping through my body and into the air. I sat on my hip, twisted so my palms lay flat on the ground, holding me up. My head tilted forward, hair dangling as my body shook with sobs. A hand rested on my shoulder and I looked up to see Jake. There was no hiding my pain so I simply gave in, letting my shaky elbow give out. He caught me, moving into a sitting position so he could hold me to him. We sat for a long time as he rubbed my back and soothed me. When I finally calmed down we separated so I could wipe my red, puffy face dry and try to look presentable. "I'm sorry," I croaked. "I tried to get her to let it go-"

He sighed, shaking his head. "It's Bella," he reasoned. I nodded ad that was that because that's all we needed. An avalanche couldn't have stopped that girl if it tried its hardest. He looked at me as I played with the foliage. "Your ankle okay?" He motioned to my foot twisted in what I could now see was a root. I nodded, tugging it out gently and then crossing my legs applesauce style. After another pause, Jake spoke again. "I guess this means that Sam can't keep Bella away anymore. Which means that Bella and I might work things out, be together... Even if we stay friends, though, she'll be around a lot."

I sighed, covering my face with both of my hands. "Jake..." He nodded, understanding even before I continued. "I can't be around him. I can't keep things going the way they are. I couldn't even be near him. Look at him..." I dropped my hands, looking at him as he stared at the ground. "I won't be another Leah."

Jake nodded again, wordless. Neither of us spoke for a long time. "Bella's getting the rundown from everybody else. I'm sure she'll have questions." My face scrunched up and he reached out to take my hand comfortingly. "She can take you home and if you need any help... I can tell her not to ask."

Shaking my head, I said, "No. She has a right to know and honestly, I'm tired of lying to her." I stood then, offering my hand. He chuckled, jumping to his feet. Once he was standing he threw an arm over my shoulders, pulling me into his side.

We began walking. "You want a piggyback ride?" I snorted but when he stopped, turning his back to me, I knew he was serious. Honestly, who would turn that down? So I hopped on his back ad he began running, jostling me purposefully to make me laugh. By the time we reached Emily's, I felt completely better. Jake was tired and he had a new sort of darkness about him, but at his core, he was still the fun, light-spirited ray of sunshine I knew at his core. We walked laughing and shoving each other. I dodged him just as we crossed the door threshold, running backward right into a warm body.

My laughter died in my throat as I turned around, coming face to face with Paul. "S-sorry," I muttered. I moved to Bella before he could respond. Jake followed after me, taking my hand to soothe me. Despite what I'd told Bella, Jake and I were actually really close and his presence helped a lot. The rest of our stay was spent by Bella, who organized a sleepover at her house. We left Emily's and went back to hers. I only got a goodbye hug in with Jake before I was being whisked off. Right as I pulled away from him, our eyes locked for the first time that night, which I would only realize later.

He stumbled back but Bella was pulling me out the door and I brushed it off as nothing. He was probably more tired than I realized. We were in Bella's truck and she started it quickly, something obviously on her mind. I swallowed, my knuckles gripping the arm of my chair and trying not to look too terrified as she drove like a crazy person. The driving wasn't really what scared me though, it was what waited at the destination we were headed.

As expected, the second we were past her dad and in the confines of her room, she was questioning me. "What happened between you and Paul?" When she saw my pained expression she scooted closer, her hands grasping mine. I sighed, closing my eyes. All she really know is that he moved on. I had lied, saying that he just didn't care about me like that anymore and it had been too weird to be friends so we broke up and moved on from each other. Or at least, he had moved on from me. "Y/n I know you lied about something, because the look he gave you tonight.... He looked like he wanted to rip out his own heart or something. There was so much tension and pain between you two..."

I was quiet for a few second, but I knew she wasn't going to let it drop because we both knew I needed to talk about it. Finally, I whispered, "He imprinted on someone else." She was stunned. "We really were so in love and being around each other just hurts, so much. Because he knows exactly how I think and the feelings I felt for him. We knew each other so well. It still is so engrained that we can still read each other. He still remembers how he felt about me and all the things that happened between us but his feelings changed- he can't help it." I shook my head. "I hate imprinting. We would have been happy for a long time, if not forever. We WERE happy. I took the whole wolf thing in stride and he said that he wasn't even mad I wasn't his imprint because obviously I was perfect for him. I had been there since the beginning. Since before..." My voice cracked. "And then he saw her." Bella squeezed my hands and I sighed, shaking my head as I met her half worried, half angry gaze. "Well, he seems really happy now. Kim I think her name is. No one told her about me and Paul. I mean she knew that we were dating when Paul first met her and she knew that somewhere along the way we broke up and then that they got together." I scoffed. "He tried to just be friends with her, but the more they talked, the further they got... I broke up with him. I knew it was coming and I was tired of feeling less like his girlfriend and more like someone simply blocking him from being with her."

Bella's shoulders sagged as she looked at me, pained. "I'm so sorry, Y/n. I know how you feel and that's-"

Ripping my hands away from her, I rolled my eyes. "You have no idea how I fell," I sneered. "Bella, Edward isn't Paul. You want to really know why Edward left? Do you think I don't know what happened at your birthday party? Do you think I don't know why you came home with ripped clothes and bandages? Who attacked you Bells? Which Cullen?" She had frozen in shock. "Alice? Emmet? Edward? Jasper?" She flinched as Jasper's name and my expression grew even darker. "Edward left because he knew that a human and a vampire could never be together. You're a lamb and he's a lion- it's literally against nature. Like me dating the food my mom makes for me at night. It's WRONG and the only way it wouldn't be wrong is if he turned you into a Bloodsucker too. Paul became a wold because of the blood running through his veins, triggering a reaction because of those damn vampires you love so much. His change was because of nature. He left me not because he was scared he'd kill me but because he was pulled away by some werewolf bullshit. It wasn't his choice and it wasn't a clean cut. Our situations are completely different- son't EVER assume to understand me." I shot to my feet, grabbing my jacket from the floor where I'd ditched it upon our entry into the room not even half an hour ago. I stopped in her doorway, turning back to look at her. Her eyes were trained on her bed, wide and too still to be alive. "It would be good for you to get over him Bella. Paul and I... we were a healthy relationship and it could have lasted a normal lifetime. Neither of us would have had to change to be with the other long term. I had a perfect future laid out for me and then it was taken away by Fate or science or whatever God may or may not be above. You think losing Edward sucks?" She flinched but my anger was too hot to give way now. "Sweetheart I think I've got you beat." And like that, I spun around and sped down the stairs and out the door as Charlie called my name to try and figure out what was wrong.

The walk home was cold and long and dark. I didn't even make it halfway before I stopped, knowing I couldn't go home. I couldn't go back to the room where the presence of Paul and Bella were both so strong and prominent. I couldn't go back where I would be haunted by the two people who I suddenly yearned for the most.

Why had I said the things I did to Bella? Even if there was a small bit of truth to them, Bella still was hurting and Edward had still loved her. They had been torn apart by nature despite love the same way Paul and I had been. Nature refused us, even though we were in love.

My feet suddenly curved and I found them taking me across the street and into the woods. I loved it here. Alone, stretching forever. There was no Bella or Edward or Paul here. Just shadows and trees and underbrush. I walked, absentmindedly tying my jacket around my waist instead of putting it on like a smart person. I suddenly felt like I was looking for something... Or maybe a LACK of something. Is this how it had been for Bella when Edward had left her alone in the woods like the Grade A dick he was? Is this how it felt for her when he was suddenly gone and she started running, screaming, looking for him? Calling his name, knowing he wouldn't call back?

Anxiety started to crawl up my throat as the cold air sunk into my very bones. Suddenly I was running, tripping over things as the darkness and my watery vision combined to make me completely blind. I cried out as I tripped, my palms landing harshly on the dirt. I felt something slide along my palm and a sharp stinging let me know that whatever it had been had cut into the skin where it had met my hand. I pushed myself back up, running again. I ran and ran and ran until my throat and lungs were searing with pain and my legs shook underneath me, pleading to give in. There was a point in sprinting when your body had reached the point it thought it's max was. When it tried to stop and collapse and calm down- this came sooner if you weren't used to running. I knew that if I pushed farther, refused to slow down and just kept going, it would fade. The adrenaline would kick in and mask the pain and the reached limit and suddenly you'd be pumped with more energy and be able to go even further. I tripped again, immediately scrambling to my feet and running again as I didn't want to lose my ability to keep going. An animalistic sound turned through me. It was meant to be a scream but it ripped through my throat and into the air, higher and sharper and angrier and more pained than just a scream. It was more like a howl or a guttural screech. My shoulder caught the trunk of a tree and I gasped, blinking as pain shot through my arm.

"Y/N WAIT!" Just as the voice screamed I finally hit past that limit mark and the adrenaline exploded, especially as my fear spied as suddenly another person was present in the area next to me where there had been no one before. I pushed further, pumping my arms as hard as I could to go as fast as my human limitations would allow. "Y/N PLEASE!" It was far closer than it should have been and I felt my heartbeat spike as pure fear coursed through me. Who was it? A vampire? Oh god oh god oh go-

Suddenly there was nothing under my feet and I was tripping, falling. I crashed down the side of some hill and crashed into some kind of water that was deep enough to cover my whole body when I sprawled out on the bottom. My body was aching and my lungs were wailing as I fought to the surface and to the other side of the water, trying to claw my way up the other side of the ditch I'd fallen into. When my fingers started to erupt in searing pain I stopped, clutching my hands to my chest and blinking hard as I tried to clear my head. There were so many demanding emotions in my body and now that I'd stopped running, my body refused to move even a single muscle. I swayed on my feet. What had happened? My shoulder and fingers and palm hurt and I shivered, wet and out in the cold. What was wrong with me? Why didn't I just go home?

Sobs burst out of me, my eyes shutting tight as my body shook, all the emotions I'd so long kept inside pouring out and flooding like a dam broken. Anger. Fear. Hurt. Betrayal. Loss. Sadness. Resentment. Jealousy. Worthlessness. Confusion. Hopelessness. Desperation. Longing. Wanting. Wistfulness. Regret.

A warm hand rested on my shoulder and I shrieked, skittering away from it as I whipped around, eyes wide. Jake was suddenly in my line of sight, stepping back with his hands up, fingers open and palms facing me. His face was broken and twisted in concern. I couldn't comprehend him being here. I was supposed to be alone... "Jake?"

He took a step toward me, small but purposeful. "Y/n... Bella called me because she had a bad feeling. Wanted to make sure you were okay. She said that she wanted me to go find you because I'd have better luck than she would, even if you were home... She was scared something had happened to you. When your tracks branched off from your path home, intot he woods, and I heard your scream... That's why I'm here." He spoke slowly and softly, holding my gaze as he helped me to make sense of what was going on. I nodded, the shivering coming back as the shock faded. We stayed quiet until the adrenaline faded, leaving me weak and shaking and about to collapse. I reached out for him and he was instantly holding me, scooping me up and holding me firmly against him. I sighed as his warmth enveloped me, pressing further into him. "I'm going to take you to my house and get you cleaned up before taking you home okay?" I weakly nodded.

He walked in silence, carrying me all the way to his house as if it was no big deal. I wondered if wolves had speed even in human form - it seemed to take far less of a time than it would have taken me before we were at his house. Or maybe I was just falling asleep, half conscious as I stared into the dark woods ahead of me. What would have happened if he hadn't found me?

As promised, he sat me on the table and patched up my shoulder and hands before letting me take a shower to warm up. When I got out he had left my clothes on his bed in a pile, freshly dried. Except my shirt which was a bit shredded if I remembered properly. He had one of his shirts next to the pile of my own clothing. I smiled, drying off and then getting dressed. I felt weak, my feet dragging as I left the room and my eyelids drooping as I made my way out of his room to find him. The second I opened his door he was at my side, catching me as I swayed, nearly loosing my balance. "'M sorry," I mumbled, pulling him close to take in more of his warmth. He felt different than he had earlier. Somehow his presence was more comforting, more familiar. The thought passively nudged into my groggy mind. Had I not wanted to go home because Jake wasn't there? I'm sure that it wouldn't have felt this comfortable and safe and welcoming and warm. No way.

He rubbed my back. "It okay." He paused. "Do you want to go home now?" My hands gripped his shirt harder and I heard his smile as he spoke next. "I'll call your parents, ask them if you can stay here instead. I'll say you called me after you got hurt or something. Promise to get you back tomorrow..."

I smiled. "Yeah I'd like that."

He guided me to his bed. "Okay then you get some sleep, alright?" I nodded, humming. He pulled the blankets over me after I lay down, smiling softly at me.

"Don't leave me," I begged softly. "I don't want to be alone."

His smile seemed strained. "Okay. I'll sleep right here in the floor. It wasn't what my groggy brain was demanding but if I scooted to the edge of the bed then I could see him on the floor on the little makeshift bed he'd made out if extra pillows and blankets and that was enough for now. I fell asleep warm and safe and even, dare I say.... happy.

Thank you Jake.

-

Forever Tag List: @bitchyseawitch @chipster-21 @alexa-playafricabytoto @wolfgirlxslytherin  @justanotherdaydreamersoul

[what-stop-the-presses-rly-means]

The College Years part 1

Jared x female reader college au 

It’s kind of all over the place, just a bunch of random moments. The funny thing is that I wrote most of this a couple years ago to just be random story ideas. And when I revisited it I knew it was perfect for Jared. Also, I couldn’t think of a better title, sorry.

Warnings: swearing, some sexual themes later on

________________

We walked through the building, one earbud for me, one for him. I stopped abruptly when we reached the restrooms.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Uh, I have to pee.”

He gave a shrug. “Okay, let’s go.”

I gave him a weird look. “Wha-?” He pulled me along, into the women’s restroom.

“Jared, you can’t be in here.” He just took my earbud out and leaned against the wall.

“But I like this song.”

I rolled my eyes and entered one of the stalls. “I could’ve paused it.”

“Uh-uh. Too good of a song. Anyway, I’m gay. It’s almost better for me to be in here.”

I scoffed. “You’re bi.

“Eh, I’m feeling extra gay today.” My ears perked up at that.

“Well, that’s perfect! I needed someone to watch RENT with me tonight, anyway.” When I came out he was glaring at me. “Oh, don’t give me that look. You love RENT.”

“Two things: 1. Don’t make me a stereotype. I may like the movie, but that has nothing to do with the fact that I also like dick. And 2. You’ve been waiting for a chance to ask me to watch it with you all day, haven’t you?” I looked up from the sink and met his eyes in the mirror.

“...I really need someone to sing Roger’s part.” I gave him my best puppy eyes until he sighed.

“Fine, but you’re buying pizza.”

I smiled widely. “Yay.” He handed me my earbud and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Let’s go, Mimi.”

 ---------------------------------

I walked out of the lecture hall to see Jared waiting for me on the bench across the hall. By the looks of it he was fast asleep. Smiling to myself I sat next to him. I took my headphones out and placed them on his ears, then I turned my music all the way up. His eyes shot open and he flailed around a bit before falling onto the ground dramatically. He stood up, sputtering and looking around in a panic while I lay on the bench, trying not to laugh that loud.

“What the hell?!”

I clutched my stomach and sat up. “You-You were sleeping. I decided to wake you up before someone drew something obscene on your forehead. It was an honorable gesture, really.” He glared at me.

“That’s it. You’re dead to me.” He turned on his heel and started walking away. Still giggling, I ran to catch up with him. “I wait for you to get out of class and this is how you repay me? Unbelievable. Kids these days.”

“Oh Bro-Bro, don’t make me remind you that I’m three hours and twelve minutes older than you. Anyway, I’m sorry I made you look like the goob that you are.” He made a ‘hmph’ sound for a second before it turned into a yawn.

“Damn, you really are tired.”

“Uh-duh! It’s nine o'clock in the fucking morning!”

“You big baby. I had to be in class at eight and you don’t hear me complaining.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re dead inside. And I suspect a drug addiction.” I looked down at my half-finished iced coffee.

“Here, you can have this if you want. I was gonna throw it away anyway. You don’t have to take it, though. It’s pretty watered down.” Before I could say anything else, he snatched it out of my hand and drank the whole thing down in less than ten seconds. When he was done, he put it in the hands of a random person we passed, making them look confused.

“Whoo! Yeah, we’re doing that from now on. I save you from having a heart attack from all the caffeine and you save me from falling asleep and getting trampled to death. Ah, coffee: it saves lives and makes the world go ‘round.”

----------------------------- 

We were spending the Saturday looking through the racks of clothes in some thrift store in the mall. From behind me, Jared pipes up.

“How should we spend our birthday?”

I scoff. “Just because our birthdays are on the same day doesn’t mean they’re automatically one and the same. They are two different birthdays.” He stops what he’s doing and pointedly looks at me.

“You’re gonna be one of those moms with twins that let it be known that her kids are two separate people and you will address them as such! Should you not want to feel the wrath of mama bear.”

“Yeah, it’s called everyone is their own person and should be treated with respect.”

“Whatever you say, hun. But I’ll have you remember that it is our birthDAY,” he emphasized the singularity of the word, “that started this lovely relationship. So, as long as you’re giving out respect to everything and everybody like you’re Oprah or something, you should give it respect as well.” I laughed and thought back to that day.

-----

It was my first week of college and I was sitting in the back of my Astronomy class. In comes this loud, brightly dressed guy that wasn’t the least bit shy. He sits directly in front of me and all I could think was that I hoped he wouldn’t bring attention to me. Throughout the class he keeps bringing up Astrology and this pisses off the professor to no end because he’s told him three times now that Astrology has no merit and absolutely nothing to do with the class. But this guy is relentless. At one point he just stops listening to the lesson and turns around to look at me. My eyes widen and I try to look ahead out of hopes that he’ll lose interest.

“Psst! Hey!” He’s stage whispering. I try my best not to smile by biting my lips but it shines through. Once my guard is obviously down, the guy continues. “You, pretending you don’t exist! You, with the cute, little smile. You, with the...eleven freckles on your nose!” I finally look at him.

“You counted my freckles?” He leans back a little and smiles.

“It got your attention, didn’t it?”

I roll my eyes. “What can I do for you, kind sir?” He looks a little taken back, but proud.

“For one, you can keep calling me sir, sweetcheeks.” I rolled my eyes again. “And you can tell me when your birthday is so I can read your horoscope.” He held up some magazine he was reading.

“You’re gonna make the professor hate you on the first day.”

“That’s the plan.” He winked. I sigh and give in.

“It’s (birthday).” His eyes widen considerably and he nearly drops the magazine. “What? Does it say I’m gonna die soon or something?”

“No...It’s just… What time?”

I furrow my brow. “Uh... (time). Why?”

“Damn! You’re older.” I look around at the people next to us, hoping they were in on the joke or something.

“Excuse me?” He turns around fully; crossing his arms on the back of his chair and rests his chin on them.

“We’re twins. My birthday also happens to be on that day. Except I was born later. You were all alone in this sad world for three hours and twelve minutes. But never fear, Jared’s here for you, babe. I’m Jared, by the way.” He extended one of his hands. I looked at him like this was the craziest encounters I’ve ever been a part of. And it was.

“(y/n).” I shook his hand.

“Oh, I could get used to hearing that. As long as you can get used to me calling you all sorts of nicknames while we’re at it. Can’t take it back now.” Who was this guy? Fine, I can dish it back just as much.

“Fine by me, Bro-Bro.” He looked confused. “Brownie points to you if you get the reference.” He pondered it for a moment before a smile broke out on his face.

“Gravity Falls. Because I called us twins. You clever little fox, I like you.” He gathered his things and quite literally jumped over the row of seats to sit next to me.

“Young man, that is quite inappropriate!” We both turned to the professor. Everyone was looking at us.

Jared smiled. “Sir, what I think is inappropriate is that we don’t discuss the validity of Astrology. Also, you don’t even know my name. Granted, it is the first day, but I find it quite rude that you never asked and I am now greatly offended. So I could go on and on but I would get none of the repercussions because you don’t even know who to punish. For all you know my name is (y/n).” My head snapped to the left to look at him, scared out of my mind. “Or some equally ridiculous name.” I glared at him. “So we could waste everybody’s time trying to figure it out in some kind of new age Rumplestiltskin-esque brawl or you can go back to wasting everybody’s time by not talking about Astrology. Your choice.” Everyone was in shock, me especially.

Long story short, he got asked to leave the room and when class was over I saw that he had been waiting for me. We’ve been friends ever since.

-----

“Fine, I’m sorry. Yes, our birthDAY. I don’t know…” Then I saw it: The perfect sweater for Jared. “Leave.” He turned around, looking confused as ever.

“What?” I grabbed the sweater and dove into the rack, hiding amongst the clothes.

“Go wait for me in the mall. Get a cookie. Do something that’s not here. I found your birthday present. Go away.”

“B-But I want to see!” He jokingly started poking around the clothes, trying to get me to come out. Once I saw his finger in front of my face I bit it.

“Ow! The fuck? Fine, I’m going, I’m going. You animal.”

“Don’t poke the animals, they don’t like it!” As I watched his back retreat, he stuck his middle finger in the air for me to see. “Love you!” I giggled.

[sam-i-am-27]

Interconnected

Summary: Four men. Four cities. Four countries. One father. One company whose main goal is to hunt them down. To survive, they must accept who they are and live as one.

Word Count: 3226

Warnings: Extreme pain, swearing

Pairings: Platonic LAMP, Logicality, Prinxiety

Huge thanks to @paperghastly​ for helping me figure out this story and talking to me about sense8 (psst you all should go watch it cause it’s a funny, interesting, diverse as hell show that deserves a season 3).

Thomas didn’t even know pain like this was possible. He had heard from his mother that giving birth, whether to an actual child or a new cluster, was the most painful thing any living being could experience, but this… this was far worse than he’d ever imagined. Cramps, pulling, pushing… it wasn’t even hurting him physically but it was just…

He groaned as another wave of pain washed over him and he clutched at his bed sheets, biting the inside of his mouth to muffle his screaming. He missed his Cluster. They would have been right there for him, holding his hands, making sure he was with someone as he went through this… but he was alone, not sure when the pain would end.

When was it going to be over? When was the pounding in his head going to end?! When?! WHEN?! WH-

Suddenly the pain released and he sat up, an involuntary gasp leaving his throat as he caught visions of his children. A smaller cluster than most, but there they were...

Four young me of the same age, down to the second. All of them were completely ignorant to the fact that their lives had just changed for the better in less than a second.

The first -Virgil- was standing behind a register, talking to a customer about some sort of product. His hair hung in purple-dyed bangs over his eyes, which were a dark blue and complemented by the dark bags indicating lack of sleep. The customer said something that made Virgil’s temper flare and as opened his mouth to respond, his eyes locked with Thomas’. There was a flash of confusion, recognition, fear, and love, before Thomas was ripped away from his first born to the next.

A young man danced across a stage, the violins and pianos dictating his movements to even the smallest footstep. Roman seemed so at home in the spotlight and the others seemed to bend to his will. He began to stop in the center of the stage, preparing to do a spin before running off-stage, but then he saw Thomas standing right in front of the orchestra pit. The same emotions dashed across his face faster than he could process and just before Thomas was whisked away, Roman stumbled.

This one was hunched over a pile of papers that were spread out evenly and meticulously, so Logan didn’t lose a single one in the mess. He was completely alone in the room but Thomas’ sudden appearance hadn’t even drawn a glance from his second-youngest. He stood there for what seemed like hours, completely ignored by the man until something deep within him made him look up. Emotions he was obviously not used to danced across his features and he looked as if he was about to explode with questions, but by that point, Thomas had been taken to see his last child.

This one was sitting in a library, helping one of the students read new books that had come in earlier that day. Patton was listening to the child intently, making sure to answer ever question calmly and giving compliments whenever they were deserved. One of the little girls said something that made Patton laugh heartily. As he calmed down, he looked up and saw Thomas standing, completely unnoticed by the other children and staff. Unlike the others, Patton had all the same emotions except fear and the second before Thomas was pulled away again, he saw the faintest of smiles upon his face.

Thomas gasped as he returned to his body, the pain now a lingering sensation and his emotions stronger than ever before. He collapsed into his bed, tears were streaming down his face. He knew that they came from the pain he had just endured, the relief that it was finally over, and the overwhelming realization that in this new world, they’d be safe.

Virgil collapsed in the back room of the store, rubbing the space between his eyes. He couldn’t think of a reason that this headache had decided to bug him other than the annoying customer he just had to deal with yesterday. She had gotten on his nerves to the point that he had spent a full hour last night writing down insults about her… maybe staying up late was why he was suffering.

“You good?” Hartly asked, hanging up his vest.

“Hella bad migraine,” Virgil responded, digging around his bag for a bottle of Advil. “I think I stayed up a little too late last night.”

“You stay up late every night,” Hartly responded, “so tonight, just get some actual sleep, alright?”

Virgil grunted, dry-swallowing the pills and leaning his head against the cool locker door. Some store nearby was playing piano music (was that Into the Woods?) and although it was muffled by the walls. There weren’t any costume stores nearby or any stores that would have reason to play a musical, so as soon as he was clocked out, he went walked around the area to find the source of the music.

But this brought absolutely no results. The sound stayed as muffled outside as they were inside and no matter which way he went, it didn’t seem to grow any louder. He was so confused and was getting annoyed at the music. It was a lot like having a song that stuck in his head that he hadn’t listened to in years playing on repeat in his head.

Finally, he simply resigned to his fate and drove away from work, trying his best to drown out the musical with his own music. As he sat at the light, the music just seemed to grow louder and louder. Soon, he couldn’t take it anymore and groaned louder than the music before turning up My Chemical Romance and pissing off a few drivers around him.

However the source of Virgil’s annoyance was dealing with almost the exact same thing across the sea in Britain.

Roman was fighting through so much in order to keep his performance perfect. The migraine, the music stuck in his head, the annoyance building in his head. All of that was leading to one of his worst performances ever. He kept stumbling over his feet, and not enunciating his lines enough, which ended up confusing everyone else and extending the rehearsal time. As soon as they finished the first act, his director came up to him as he took a water break and simply glared at him for a few seconds.

“I know… I know…” Roman muttered. “That sucked a lot…”

“Roman, I’ve seen you dance far better than that while sick with the flu!” His director sighed and sat down next to him. “Yesterday, you claim to have seen someone right next to me and today, it’s a headache, music stuck in your head! The show goes on in two weeks, so if you haven’t gotten control of this by then, Jared is going on instead, alright?”

Roman felt a pang of anger and jealousy, but nodded. “Got it. I’ll try but first, do you have any Advil? If I had some, I might do better.”

His director nodded. “Yeah, in my bag backstage. You got fifteen minutes, Roman.”

Roman smiled and went backstage as quickly and as quietly as possible, not wanting to draw attention to himself after such a horrible performance. As he took the pills, he glanced up at the wall-sized mirror that actors used for makeup and costume touch-ups. What he expected to see was his own reflection of a lean, middle-aged man with a golden tan, thick, wavy brown hair with dark green eyes. Instead, there was a pale stick of a man with thin brown hair that hung over his eyes and was tinted slightly purple. His skin was almost sickly pale and when he looked up at Roman, his eyes were the most magnificent color of brown Roman had ever seen.

The man yelped in surprise and suddenly, Roman was was in the theater but at the same time, he was sitting in the backseat of an American car that had just swerved due to the other’s man fear. The man took deep, steady breaths, keeping his fearful eyes on the road while as he paced in the mirror in front of Roman. The simple stared at each other in fascination and confusion, in the makeup mirror and in the rear-view. Neither knew what to say. Whatever was happening was too much for either to comprehend and yet… it felt as if it should be happening.

“Who are you?” the pale man whispered. “H-How…”

“How should I know?” Roman asked, adjusting his seat belt as he sat in front of the mirror. “I’m just as confused as you are…”

The man opened his mouth to say something.

“Roman?” Roman blinked and the car was gone, his reflection was back to normal and his director was standing in the doorway, looking a bit confused. “What are you doing?”

“I-uh…” He looked around, not seeing the man anywhere, so quickly formulated a lie. “I was just sitting here. I thought there was a rip in my pants so I sat down to make sure there wasn’t.”

“Alright then…” His director shook his head. “Well we’re going to get going again, alright?”

“Has it really been fifteen minutes?” Roman stood, his headache returning with a vengeance as his attention was pulled away from the strange man.

“Yeah. Let’s get going so you can hopefully do much better than you were doing earlier.” His director held the door for Roman and even as the mirror disappeared, Roman still felt like he was being watched, followed… as if he would never be alone. And across the border, one young man was thinking about his experiences, feeling the exact same way.

Over in Germany, a young man was still hunched over his papers from the night before. The only difference was now he was hungry, he had a migraine, and he was trying to sleep. But none of these were more important than his work. He knew he should be studying but he was so, so tired… but without the studying, he might not pass his class. Sleep vs study. Sleep vs study. Sleep vs…

He shot up again and accidentally knocked over his textbooks.

“Shit,” he muttered, leaning down to pick up his stuff. As he did, he felt a sharp hunger pain in his stomach. He groaned and looked at the clock, realizing it had been a while since he last ate something more than an apple.

“Might as well make some dinner.” He stood and placed his textbook with the rest before heading into the spotless kitchen. He pulled out a package of tortillas, cheese and butter to make some quesadillas for himself since he had nothing else to eat. As the butter began to sizzle, Logan found himself humming a song he had ever heard but he somehow knew the rhythm and lyrics too. It was definitely American song based on the lyrics and how sexual they were, but he rarely even listened to his area’s music, so how could he know this song?

The smell of burning butter brought him out of his thoughts and he shoved the pan off of the stove, momentarily forgetting that it was a burning hot, metal pan.

“Shit!” he shoved his hand under the sink and wincing at the stinging pain. How could he have been so careless to have burnt himself? Across the world, three other men felt the burn and winced, clasping one hand over the other in response.

In a small kitchen in Canada, a young man almost dropped his plate of eggs as a sudden pain flared up in his hand.

“Ow!” Patton cried, regaining his balance.

“You good?” his brother asked through a mouthful of breakfast.

“Yeah, yeah, fine, Dee,” Patton said, sucking on the area for a second before sitting down, nodding his head to the Ariana Grande song Declan was blasting through his speaker. “Just one of those moments where you suddenly get pain for no reason, you know?”

“Sure,” his brother replied. “How’s your headache by the way?”

“Oh it’s gone now,” Patton lied, not wanting to upset his brother anymore.

“Good. I didn’t want to go out and get more Advil,” Declan said, sipping his coffee.

Patton tried to brush that off so opted to smell the freshly cooked eggs. As soon as he did, he started coughing and waving his hands in front of his nostrils. “Do you smell burning butter?”

Declan sniffed the air as well and shook his head. “Nope. Sure you’re not going crazy, Pat?”

But he had already gotten up, following the smell right to the stove. “Aw, I must’ve burnt it while I was making breakfast. Shoot.”

He walked to the cabinet to get some Febreeze and sprayed it all over the kitchen.

Logan stumbled back as his sense of smell was overwhelmed with flowers and clean towels.

“What is happening?” he whispered.

Patton looked at his brother as he poured ketchup into the side of his plate for the eggs. “What do mean what's happening? I'm making sure it smells butter.”

Declan opened his mouth, realized the pun, but still said, slightly concerned, “I didn’t say anything, Pat. I might need to get you to the psychiatrist soon.”

Patton frowned but shrugged. “Must've been the radio. Anyways, let's eat!”

Declan nodded and the brothers continued their breakfast in silence.

Hours later, Roman retired to his bed, script in hand despite how tired he was from today’s horrible rehearsal. The headache was still going strong and he just hated everything in his life right now. Too much going on, too much work, too little sleep… it was all building up to be a difficult night of script studying for him.

“Agony… far more power tha-” His voice cracked and he growled in agitation, throwing the script down on his bed and gripped his hair so hard that a few strands parted with his scalp. “God damn it!”

He took a deep steadying breath and as he did, heard it repeated by the man sitting in the corner of Roman’s room and at his own crowded desk. The two looked at each other in shock, not sure how to react. This one had a little more meat on his bones, with thick, well groomed hair and piercing blue eyes that clearly said that anything he did meant business. It was dulled slightly by the stress building up behind them as well as the fatigue and confusion brought by hours of this… how did Roman know that?

“Again?” Roman asked. “Are you real? Am I going crazy?!”

“I don’t think you’re going crazy, as you are not the only one confused and questioning their sanity,” the other man said. “You’re getting these… flashes as well?”

“Well, yeah. I said ‘again’, didn’t I?” Roman sat down on his bed but stayed standing in the other man’s room. “Where am I?!”

“You’re in Dresden, Germany. And I thought it was implied that I do not know either,” the man said, adjusting his glasses and standing up to walk over to Roman’s bed. “But either way, you are not the only thing I have been… seeing today. Smells, sights, sounds, feelings, tastes. Did you feel a burning in your left hand earlier today?”

“Yeah… are you suggesting that we’re mentally connected or some shit?” Roman asked.

“Roman?” The two jumped as Brian, Roman's roommate walked in. He looked into the room, slightly confused about something other than the complete stranger sitting next to Roman on his bed and at an extremely crowded desk. “Who are you talking to?”

“Uh… I'm practicing lines,” Roman said, grabbing the papers beside the stranger and waving them frantically. “See?”

Brian nodded slowly. “Okay… did you happen to see where I put my keys?”

“They're in the fruit bowl as always, Brian,” Roman said. “Before you leave… out of curiosity, is there someone sitting next to me?”

Brian looked through the man and shook his head. “No. Why? You seeing ghosts?”

“I mean, no. I-” Roman blinked once as he turned to face the man again, but he was gone, along with the desk. “No… I'm not seeing anything.”

Brian pursed his lips and nodded, slamming the door shut a little harder than he had meant to.

The sound made Virgil jump and snap his laptop shut and Patton almost drop yet another dish. The two took deep breaths as they looked around the room in fear. It was a dark, angsty decorated bedroom and than a bright, open kitchen parallel to a sitting area occupied by one other person. Smells, dish soap and unwashed laundry; sound; running water and music… Sights, soap and shadow. A young man with purple bangs and a kind one with curly bronze hair. The two studies each other curiously, not in one place or the other, but still making contact.

“Patton?” Declan asked, snapping his brother out of his daze. “What's up now?”

Patton shook his head and looked around. No doors, no new room, and certainly no stranger with bangs. “I thought I heard a door slam. And… gosh I am tired. I thought I saw someone in here…”

“Probably a neighbor looking forward to getting inside,” Declan said, turning a page in his book.

Patton looked around once more. “Okay. After I'm done with my dishes, I'm going back to bed.”

“Sounds great, Pat,” Declan replied, not looking up from his book. Patton themed back to his dishes, but Declan still read his book, or so Patton thought.

If Patton had turned around and truly taken notice, he would have seen that Declan’s movements were small and short so he could have a secret conversation with someone only he and three other people could see like this.

“He's acting a lot like we were,” Declan said, watching his brother clean and his body sit there, barely moving. “Headaches, random flashes of senses. He wanted to listen to Ariana this morning rather than Spongebob! And he saw someone, Emile!”

“I thought you hated listening to that every morning?” Emile smirked at him, to which Declan made a face. “You know what I mean. But you have to admit, the similarities are there!”

“Siblings can both be born a Sensate. Kaitlyn did have a biological sister who was one too,” Emile responded, sitting on the nearby counter without dead of being seen by Patton.

“But if he is-"

“Dee.” Emile stood, sounding both serious, calm and encouraging in a way only he could sound. “From what you've said about him, and from what we've heard from the others, we know that a) he will tell you if you ask and b) you are both one hundred percent safe from BPO. Jonas and Angelica’s last Cluster made sure to that over a year ago.”

Declan sighed, crossing his arms and looking at his younger brother. “I won't jump to conclusions just yet. Maybe he's just got a headache and he's tired.”

“Two options is better than one,” Emile said. “Listen, I got some sessions today, so I'll talk later.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Dee said and the two returned to their homes and families, the worries of tomorrow quenched for now.

So yeah! I love sense8, and I love Sanders Sides, so when I thought about Lito and Hernando possibly being Roman and Logan respectively, it eventually became this! Thanks to @paperghastly for helping me think of ideas for this and cook it into what you see!

Reblogs are appreciated!

Taglist is open!

Have a great day!

General Taglist: @nightmarejasmine

[wolfpack-imagines]

jared cameron | imprinting [2]

jared cameron. 1652 words.

previous part.

Kim had slowly gotten the message that you didn’t want to talk about Jared anymore, so she stopped mentioning him around you. She realized that your annoyance with him was more concentrated than usual. What you didn’t tell her was why. 

You’d tolerated Jared just fine. Even though he and his friends were usually obnoxious and cocky, you’d endured him because for some reason, his face made Kim happy. 

Until the diner incident. 

Damn, why did that boy get to you? You hadn’t ever cared about him — or wanted to — but ever since he’d stormed out of that restaurant, his expression of pain and hurt stayed solidified in your memory like a bad dream you couldn’t shake off. Though, that couldn’t have been because of you. He surely couldn’t have heard how badly you’d insulted him. No one could have heard. You’d been quiet about it. 

So him being angry and frustrated every time you saw him outside of school had nothing to do with you. Maybe something had happened with Paul and Embry. Maybe they’d gotten into a fight. Maybe they’d made fun of him one too many times — like you had. 

Friday after school, you hurried to your car, eager to turn on the heating and warm yourself up. Kim had coaxed you into coming down to the res and sleeping over at her house, and though you weren’t a big fan of the sickly girly things she had planned, you desperately wanted to something to pull your thoughts away from Jared. 

You’d promised to drive over to her place as soon as you grabbed a few things from home, which you assured her wouldn’t take too long. You quickly rushed up the front steps of your house and sprinted up to your bedroom, tossing your backpack in a corner and shoving essentials in an overnight bag. As you walked out of your house, you stopped short in front of your car. Jared Cameron was leaning against the driver’s side. 

His arms were folded over his bare chest, eyes narrowed in the same frustration you’d witnessed at the diner. You almost wanted to turn back around and lock yourself in your house, but decided against it. If he’d managed to find out where you lived — although that wasn’t really very weird in a small town like Forks — then what he had to say must have held some degree of importance. 

“What do you want?” you demanded. “I don’t have all day.” 

Jared scoffed. “Why are you always pissed at me?” he asked. “Jeez, you’re always glaring and talking shit behind my back to Kim. Ease up, will you?”

It took you a little by surprise that he was so upfront about it. He wasn’t wrong, really, but he certainly hadn’t wasted time getting to the point.

“Yeah, well, I’m doing it for Kim’s sake,” you said.

“‘Cause she likes me?” Jared shook his head, almost remorsefully. “I thought by ignoring her, I was letting her down easy.”

You really weren’t all that surprised. He treated Kim like she was invisible. You just hadn’t expected him to be so aware. Most guys generally weren’t when it came to things like romance.

“You should have told her,” you said. “She thinks the two of you will get married one day.”

“You think she’ll appreciate you telling me that?” Jared laughed. “Some friend you are.”

You gritted your teeth. “If you’ve come here to berate me, you can leave.”

Jared smiled. Shit, he really does have nice lips, you thought. A nice everything.

“I need to show you something,” he said. “Can you drive?”

“What the hell are you playing at?” you fumed, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Absolutely nothing. I just need to show you something,” he repeated.

Though you wanted to refuse and tell him to get lost and never set foot on your property again, you were curious to find out more about the mystery that was Jared Cameron. So, you jerked your chin towards your car. 

“Get in.”

“You sure you’re not going to murder me?” you teased.

Jared scoffed from in front of you, and though you couldn’t see his expression, you were sure he’d rolled his eyes. “Really,” he said, “is that how low you think of me?”

“Well, you’re in a gang,” you defended. “People talk. Everyone thinks you guys are in some sort of cult. How do I know you’re not getting ready to sacrifice me to some hippie god?”

His shoulders tensed, but his tone was forcedly light. “Don’t worry, I’d never do anything to hurt you.” It was such an odd statement, especially since you didn’t really know Jared Cameron all too well. But somehow, there was a heavy note behind his promise, as if he’d meant it from the bottom of his heart.

The two of you had been walking in the woods outside of La Push for a while and your legs were getting tired. You were supposed to have been at Kim’s house half-an-hour ago but Jared’s company was somewhat addicting. Though you knew it probably wasn’t smart to entrust yourself to him, especially considering the fact that you’d always adamantly claimed he was bad news, you couldn’t help it. There was something about him you couldn’t shake off.

You reached an opening in the trees, which gave way to a small clearing. Tall grass swayed softly in the breeze with a grace that made the movement look like a foreign dance. A crisp winter air scraped through your lungs sharply, but the pain felt oddly comforting to you.

“It’s beautiful here,” you marvelled. “Is this what you wanted to show me?” Jared glanced at you and the corners of his mouth tugged upwards into a crooked smile. “You think I brought you out here to show you some grass?”

It was your turn to roll your eyes. “Very funny. Get on with it.”

His demeanour changed in an instant, face hardening gravely. It reminded you of the diner incident when you’d insulted him — though you still thought it was impossible for him to have heard you.

“(Y/N), please don’t freak out, okay? The last thing I want is for you to be afraid of me.”

You crossed your arms. “Why does it matter if I’m afraid of you?”

“Because believe it or not, what you think of me is important.” He grimaced. 

“But then again, I already know what you think of me. What was I — the offspring of a toilet and a garbage can, with the personality of both?”

You changed colour. The nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you that he’d heard you at the diner had been right all along. “It was a joke. I didn’t mean it.” And looking at him, you really hadn’t. He wasn’t as bad as everyone else had made him out to be.

“Yeah, sure.” Jared sighed and then unbuttoned his shorts.

“Woah!” you exclaimed, shielding your eyes. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Showing you what I am.”

You cringed. “What you are? Jared, if you brought me out here to see you naked, what you are is a pervert.”

“You’re such a child,” he groaned. “Turn around if you’re so bothered.”

Reluctantly, you turned around and lowered your hands. Your face was burning at the thought of Jared without any clothes on. Though you were utterly confused as to why there was a need for him to take his clothes off in the first place, you couldn’t lie and say that you weren’t curious about what he’d look like naked. Imagining it made you warm all over, partly with excitement and partly with shame.

And then something wet nuzzled your palm. You wheeled back — and your heart almost stopped in shock.

Where Jared had once stood was a massive wolf, and massive was an understatement. On all fours, it was taller than you, with short and thick chestnut hair and black around its eyes. Your breath lodged itself in your throat, burying every scream with it. You paled and felt the earth beneath your feet sway, falling to your knees painfully.

Slowly, the wolf poked its nuzzle into your hand again and then lowered its gaze submissively. There was nothing threatening about it, despite its size. The fear you had initially felt was replaced by a numbing calmness.

“Jared?” you whispered.

The wolf nodded.

“So,” you began, “you’re not in a gang. You’re in a pack. And Sam Uley’s the Alpha?”

Jared nodded, eyes fixated on the road ahead.

“And you’re the Beta.”

Another nod.

“Why did you tell me out of all people? If it’s such a guarded secret, why let me in on it?”

He sighed, keeping one hand on the steering wheel of your car while rubbing his forehead with the other. “I wasn’t supposed to let anyone else know,” he started. “Sam’s orders have to be obeyed whether we want them to or not. But he said the only exception was if we imprinted.”

“What does that mean?”

Jared glanced at you out of the corners of his eyes. “Imprinting is when you find your soulmate. The person you’re supposed to be with. The one that was made just for you.”

You stared at him — at his unrecognizable expression — and breathed in shakily. “And I’m your imprint.”

He nodded again.

“Well, that makes me feel like a total idiot,” you moaned. “And Kim’s going to hate me so much.”

“(Y/N), even if I hadn’t imprinted on you, the chances of me getting with Kim would have still been slim to none.” Jared grinned. “You were more my type anyway.”

“That’s a shitty way to ask me out.”

“Oh, so now you want me to ask you out?” Jared teased. “You’re right, though. If we’re soulmates, we might as well get started on the whole mating thing — ow, jeez, don’t hit!"

[thelioncourts]

what are some of the most beautiful fics of wincest or j2? in your opinion? what the some of the funniest fics? which fics made you cry the most?

this is such a loaded question. our fandom is full of so many amazing stories and so many talented authors, and it’s almost impossible for me to make a list of anything without it being three miles long. that being said, I’ll try. mind you, I am far less read in Wincest. despite my love of it, J2 fics have always called to me more, and always, so forgive me if most of what I give are J2 stories. the beautiful and the ones that make me cry often criss-cross, so I’ll do my best to organize them as much as I can.

Beautiful Fics

Forever is a Lonely Number by lightinthehall

[ Written for the prompt ] “Jensen never ages, Jared does, but they stay together forever.”

Comment: an absolutely breathtaking story. so much is said in so few words and I both ache and dream and sigh happily at this story every time.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3286; Warnings: character death

In Becoming Who We Are by errant-jane

Fresh out of school with a degree from the University of Washington, Jensen meets and falls for Jeff Morgan. He may not know what he wants to do with his life, but for the first time since leaving Texas, he feels like things are coming together. Jeff seems like the perfect guy, right up until it all falls apart, and Jensen is left wondering where he went wrong. A couple failed relationships and a few years later, Jensen’s decided that one-night stands are preferable to dates. He’s got his friends and his roommate, Sophia, for everything non-sex related, after all. Until Sophia decides to move in with her boyfriend and Jensen’s stuck trying to find a new roommate. At Sophia’s insistence, Jensen meets Jared Padalecki and the two become fast friends. Only, the more they get to know each other, the more obvious it is that there’s something there. But Jensen is unwilling to risk losing Jared’s friendship for the possibility of more. Unfortunately, if he doesn’t get things figured out, he might lose Jared anyway.

Comment: this story is causes so much emotional confusion for me because it’s so perfect with just Jensen and Jeff and I couldn’t see how it would end up with Jared in the picture at all and then it just. happens. and it’s amazing to watch Jensen grow and to watch Jared worm his way, unknowingly really, into Jensen’s heart.

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: 82700; Warnings: none

A Song in the Stars by strive2bhappy

Jared Padalecki has dreamed of taking to the skies since he was five-years-old. When he becomes an adult and builds a spaceship of his own, he gets to do just that, looking for adventure – little did he know the adventure waiting for him. Jensen Ackles is born part human, part Terryn and his life as an outcast is difficult – music is his only real escape. When he’s captured by the Dominion, an organization hell-bent on taking over every galaxy in every way they can, he’s used as a lab experiment to see how his special, combined heritage can be advantageous for them. Fleeing Dominion control, he vows to himself, they will never find him again. A chance meeting between Jared and Jensen helps both of them get what they’re looking for – and the way things end up, it may have been more than just chance. From various planets throughout different galaxies, to nights under the stars in space, Jared and Jensen find in each other something worth fighting – and possibly dying – for.

Comment: I think about this story so often. sometimes I look at the stars and think of these boys.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 39813; Warnings: none

Meet You at the Dock by grace_fully

jensen’s a third-year ivy league student home in small town Vermont for the summer. the lake, his family, his friends – all the way he left them last year. except jared. jared’s new.

Comment: grace_fully is one of the most talented writers this fandom has had and I miss her so much. this story is so simple and gorgeous and you can feel the pining just as much as you can feel drip of sweat on your skin in a muggy summer.

Rating: PG-13; Word Count: 5800; Warnings: None

Miles to Go by @dollyluxe

As Jensen’s assistant, Jared takes care of him at work. As a man in love, he can’t help that he wants to wrap him up in a warm blanket and take care of him in every other aspect of his life, too.

Comment: I read this fic at least once a month, if not more. it’s a Christmas fic that is so much more than a Christmas fic. it makes your heart stop in your chest and it makes you want. 

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 8176; Warnings: none

Funniest Fics

So Hurry Up and Bring Your Jukebox Money by curds_and_wheyface

It’s Mardi Gras at the beach and Chad wants to film Jared getting laid for his website. It says a lot about their friendship that this isn’t even the weirdest thing Chad’s ever asked of him.

Comment: it’s steaming hot and hysterical and Chad is a main character, which guarantees laughter. 

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 7527; Warnings: voyeurism, alcohol 

(A Shortage of) Sense and Sensibility by lightinthehall

[ Mockumentary!AU fic ] Except Jared just can’t understand why Jensen isn’t off-the-charts, truly, madly, deeply in love with him. He’s pretty used to merely looking at people and having them swoon all over the place. Not Jensen. Not only is Jensen apparently immune to the sex-power-stare of Jared Padalecki, he’s never around to witness it. Every time the director yells That’s a wrap! Jared turns to say, ask Jensen out for something casual like coffee at his place – or sex on the coffee table at his place -  poof! Jensen’s gone before he can even get a word out.

Comment: I love the mockumentary. I love that weirdo universe’s not-Jared and not-Jensen. this fic captures that so much and I just giggle constantly.

Rating: Teen; Word Count: 3533; Warnings: none

A Man’s Fortune by morrezela 

Jared is a dragon. Jensen is a pretty if foolhardy young man trespassing on Jared’s mountain. Nobody ever warned Jensen about the possessive nature of dragons.

Comment: this is so much more than just a funny fic, but it is funny and made me laugh out loud at times. Jared is just. so sad (hysterically sad) that Jensen doesn’t want to be captured by him, and I just. the poor thing. 

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 25791; Warnings: dubious consent 

To Hell and Back by ashtraythief

It is said that if a demon steals an angel from heaven he’ll gain immense power. Jared is a demon who doesn’t fit in and when he finds a spell to open a passage to heaven, he thinks he’s found a solution to all his problems: angel power. But Jensen, the angel he takes, is not at all what he expected a celestial being to be like and things don’t go as planned. At all. In the ensuing chaos, Jared and Jensen have to form a strained alliance to survive and embark on a dangerous journey through the deepest pits of hell to flee from Jared’s rivals and all the other demons jonesing for angel blood.

Comment: I read this last year and it was one of my favorites of the Big Bang that year. Jared is the most hysterical and adorablely wonderful demon and Jensen is the most un-angel-y guy and their adventure is amazing, whilst having a fantastic plot.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 28378; Warnings: violence

Decaffeinated by Molly

In which Jensen develops a drinking problem, and Jared solves it for him.

Comment: we all know that Jensen + coffee is the true OTP and, as a fellow coffee addict, I just couldn’t not love this fic

Rating: General; Word Count: 5071; Warnings: none 

#FlyTheUnfriendlySkies by dugindeep

Jensen is a customer service agent in American Airlines’ Admirals Club and Jared is the crabby celebrity who is always in his face.

Comment: literally just. this fic. lmao. 

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: 7600; Warnings: none

Fics that Made Me Cry

The Courtship of Jensen’s Co-Star by @qblackheart

Somewhere in the time between a handshake and a hug, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki went from being reel-life brothers to real-life best friends, and complete strangers to cosmic soul mates, no rhyme or reason to it that either of them could ever see. Jared was everything Jensen was not: friendly, funny, and full of life; one in six-point-whatever billion the Earth’s population currently stood at. Life was awesome. Work was amazing. Everything was fine until Jared kissed Jensen. Everything was peachy until Jensen fell in love. With desperate times unexpectedly calling for desperate measures, Jensen called Chad Michael Murray for relationship advice – because being in love led to temporary insanity obviously – so it really didn’t surprise him that he couldn’t seem to win when it came to wooing Jared. Still, Pisces must’ve been in a really good place in the night sky or something because suddenly, right smack dab in the middle of the miserable courtship of his co-star, Jensen discovered that maybe loving Jared was all he needed to do to win his heart. And luckily for Jensen, loving Jared was also the one thing he did best.

Comment: I talk about this fic all the time, but, god, I can’t help it. it’s them. and I cry and my hands shake and I’m completely overwhelmed by them. always.

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: 112,000+; Warnings: none

Forget-Me-Not by @babybrotherdean  

In 1547, they meet as children. Sometimes, even when two people are truly meant to be together, it takes a few lifetimes across a few centuries for everything to sort itself out.

Comment: reincarnation. meant-to-be. losing each other. ache ache ache. 

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 9400; Warnings: character death

I Saw You Shine by @dollyluxe

Jared gets a glimpse into Jensen’s new life.

Comment: this was written for me so I’m probably a bit biased (I cried when I saw the notification, let alone the tears that came when I read it), but I absolutely sob reading this story. I understand them both more than I care to ever explain, and it’s the most gorgeous kind of pain that ends as happy as it can because it’s our boys and it has to. 

Rating: Teen; Word Count: 3203; Warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts

Criminal Intentions by fftf

One murdered girl and no solid suspects’ leads local sheriff Jeffrey Dean Morgan to Jared - son of respected ex-sheriff, Gerald Padalecki, and soon-to-be newlywed. With nothing but shared history and circumstantial evidence to link him to the case, Jared’s name is cleared, but there is more than one life destroyed that night and harsh truths are brought to light which threaten everything Jared thought he could count on. Four years later Jared Padalecki returns to his hometown, and his old life – including his best friend and ex-fiancé Jensen – as a successful Agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Jared has received information which endangers Jensen and everything Jared still holds dear, but his investigation provides him with more than he bargained for, including worrying insights into the crime that destroyed his life. Is Genevieve Cortese’s killer back and gunning for Jensen? Or is there more to the case than meets the eye?

Comment: this isn’t so much a crying-fic as it is just pure emotion. it’s so charged and intense and I could feel my breathing drop at times and. ugh. yes.

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: 69350; Warnings: character death

And a fic that fits all of these categories:

sadly is not online anymore. but.

The Doors of Time by felisblanco

god. this story. my forever-favorite fic ever. absolutely ever. I sob and dream and can see everything. absolutely everything that happens in this story. I wish I was more eloquent with my words so I could tell you what this story means to me, and one day I will. one day I’ll get all my thoughts about this story down. one day I’ll be able to comprehend the pain and joy this story brings me.  

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Phantasm Chasm”

Written by: Jake Goldman, Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Phil Jacobson, John West

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

I cast magic missle! I'm attacking the darkness!

After a two week hiatus, this show returns with the worst character ever.

Okay, second worst character.

Here we go. This is Jared Shapiro. He's a character made for the reboot, a new student at the school with just as much personality as that school. Most of the time, he appears in Blossom's fantasy sequences to tell Blossom how beautiful and smart she is, because he's Blossom's love interest! She doesn't even remotely make this subtle, especially when her imagination gives him lines like this:

Jared: So, in the spirit of intergalactic friendship, and maybe more in the future... (raises eyebrows)

Ugh. It was in Blossom’s imagination, but that doesn’t make it much better. There's a few other things about him I could mention, but I'd rather get to the episode. Maybe we'll have some time before this guy shows up.

The episode starts with Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup playing a tabletop role playing game with Jared, damn it, as the Dungeon Master. Jared tells them they encounter the Stone Golem, pulling a figurine of him out and doing a voice, and asks what they should do. While Blossom and Bubbles talk the stereotypical RPG talk, Buttercup just monotonely says she would shoot it with a bazooka. Blossom is offended by Buttercup's lack of interest in following the rules of the game, but Buttercup remains unconvinced.

Buttercup: This game is for dorkfaces!

Jared: Hey!

Blossom: Buttercup! Jared's cool!

It's funny, Blossom seems to have no problem hanging out with Jared in this episode. Remember that episode where Blossom caused a Snow Month to avoid him? Maybe she learned her lesson, but this reboot has a hard time having its characters remember what they learned, especially when it comes to Buttercup.

Speaking of which, Blossom and Bubbles are having fun, but Buttercup isn't because this game is taking way too long. Jared tells her the game won’t be over until they reach Castle Neswald, fight the Blob King (bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh), and destroy the Phantasm Crystal. Such a specific name for the castle; it should come as no surprise that Neswald is one of the writers. Buttercup says she's going to take down two nerds with one stone, and she snatches the Blob King figurine from Jared’s hands and throws it right into the crystal, causing an explosion.

Suddenly, Jared and the Puffs are falling out of a portal into the game's world. I feel like we skipped a scene. The Puffs are just as confused as the audience, but Jared doesn't seem to mind. He's in this brand new world, and the first thing he does is become amazed at seeing Castle Neswald with his own eyes. Blossom and Bubbles also seem to get used to it.

They’re also put into costumes that represent the characters they played in the game. Blossom is a knight, Buttercup is an archer, and Bubbles is a barbarian. Jared also gets a role, even though he was the dungeon master: he gets to be the bard! While Blossom doesn't get to do much, Bubbles delights in one particular aspect of her class.

Bubbles: I have a beard! Oooh! Hee hee! (plays with beard)

Playing with her beard is going to be Bubbles' defining individual character moment in this episode. While everyone except for Buttercup is thrilled to be in this world of sorcery, caves, and blobs, Blossom raises a concern.

Blossom: This is cool, but how do we get home? Professor gets angry if we say in an alternate dimension for too long.

It's a good concern, as she's already been in this world long enough that she starting to think Professor is actually his first name. At least, I hope it isn't. Jared pulls out the rulebook and it actually has a section for what you need to do to get out of the alternate dimension: beat the game, or be stuck forever. Buttercup immediately snatches the book, reads one random line...

...and she eye lasers it into ash. The others are horrifed at Buttercup dooming them all, but she tries to defend her action with a rather dubious claim.

Buttercup: We beat up monsters all the time, how tough could it be?

The royal we, maybe, and even that's not too accurate. Of course, being a cartoon, any utterance of the words "how tough could it be" usually causes danger. In this case, the shrieking of a bunch of bats.

Koala bats, that is! Wacky! While everyone else runs away, Bubbles thinks they’re friends, and gets ready to hug them. She gets grabbed by her pigtails, yelling that she was wrong. Oh, that silly Bubbles! Blossom gets captured immediately after, and the koala bats head towards the castle.

They had four options to deal with these koala bats:

A. Eye laser them.

B. Use their aura powers.

C. Tear their legs off with their strength.

D. Do absolutely nothing.

Huh, should have went with A. Or B. Even C would be good. Instead, we get yet another episode where the girly ones have to be saved by the boyish one. She won't save them alone, as the bats spare Jared as well. I wouldn't blame them. Buttercup tries to fly in to save them, but the Castle makes a force field, bouncing Buttercup into a crater in the ground. Castle Punch, Girl Down, womp womp.

There is one good thing about Blossom getting kidnapped: we finally get to see a scene with Jared that doesn't involve him being the fantasy love interest, and we finally get to see him as he is. To make a long story short: he's a dorkface. In all seriousness, I will point out one thing that's interesting.

Jared: One second...magic inhaler, plus one stamina.

...did they just imply that Jared has asthma? I mean, it can't just be a random inhaler joke, right? I did some research, and it would fit in well with his affinity for wind instruments, like the clarinet in previous episodes, as wind instruments could expand lung capacity. A wind instrument plays a big role in this episode, which is some actual consistency with this character. It's the most charitable explanation for this; if it wasn't intentional, they might as well go with it.

Buttercup asks him how she can do her far-too-often saving of her sisters with the force field. Jared tells Buttercup they need to find the secret passage. Buttercup isn't too thrilled, thinking this is going to be some long, boring quest that won't even get interesting until the third movie. I think that's a Lord of the Rings reference, I'm not too sure.

It happens to be right by them, as the camera zooms out to reveal a door with neon signs that say "Secret Passage". Just in case the audience didn't think this was funny, they do a comedy drumroll over this. Might as well pull out the wah-wah trumpet, a laugh track, and a fist to bump.

They run into a room with a puzzle with the Stone Golem. Jared has to pick up the "mystical goblet" the Golem is going to drink his coffee out of. Wacky! Before he can explain how this puzzle even works, if he can even remember how considering the rulebook is a pile of ash, he accidently picks up one of the cups.

This cup was the wrong answer, as this wakes the Stone Golem. Without his coffee, he's angry! With his magical bard skills, Jared tries to save the day by blowing a terribly out-of-key melody on his flute, which irritates both Buttercup and the Golem. That's his running joke, and he's sticking with it.

After that, Buttercup just beats the golem up in a slideshow beatdown. Come to think of it, why didn't she use a bazooka aura here? It would have been a good call back. Jared celebrates that they did it, but Buttercup tells him he didn't do anything. Possibly distracting the Golem with the flute didn't count. Of course, she goes way beyond just telling him he's useless.

Buttercup: I don't know what Blossom and Bubbles sees in you. Jared: ...but... Buttercup: Just go, and leave the heroing to the real heroes.

So let me guess, Jared's going to get all sad with some sad violin music, Buttercup is going to get into a sticky situation, Jared's going to save her with his magical flute skills out of kindness, and Buttercup is going to respect Jared from now on. Unlike Buttercup and the secret passage, I have a good feeling about this one. Especially since I can hear the sad violin music.

Buttercup, while still talking to herself about how Jared is such a nerd, finds a door. After mocking Jared some more, she tries to punch it open like she punches through walls. At least, in the original.

This door turns out to be a trap, as Buttercup's fists get stuck in green goo. The door suddenly grows green arms, and grabs Buttercup, absorbing her into the door. Before she does, she says she's sorry as she realizes the error of her ways, and shouldn't have made fun of Jared for being a nerd. Oh, there were more reasons to hate him than that.

Sadly, it's far too late for her, as her horrified face becomes the same shade as the rest of the door.

Does the title fit?

Just kidding.

Suddenly, Jared shows up, and does what he does best. For some reason, this has him surrounded by this aura that’s never seen outside of this part, which is the usual inconsistency with this reboot. I guess it's because he's actually being useful, as this makes the door spit out Buttercup. Buttercup asks him why he would save her after all the mean things she said, and he responds that he's her friend.

Of course, as anyone can predict, this makes Buttercup respect Jared a little more than usual. Subplot over. Jared tries to celebrate with a song, but Buttercup tells him not to push it. At last, they finally find the Blob King's throne room, and, oh boy, the scene we're all waiting for.

They find Blossom and Bubbles at a banquet, gorging themselves on a bunch of food. Of course, all of this food has made Blossom and Bubbles super fat. Just a reminder: all Blossom and Bubbles did in this entire episode was get captured and become super fat. They couldn't even give them individual roles. If I were to guess, it's because they couldn't find a role for Blossom to play since the nerd character was taken, so they just merged Blossom and Bubbles into one character.

Bubblossom offers Jared a cupcake, which he almost takes until Buttercup zaps it out of his hands. It turns out, that one line Buttercup read was a hint that these sweets would make you a glutton, eating for eternity. It's almost like the Blob King is turning people into blobs...now I get it. It's rediculous and not that funny, but I get it.

It also turns out that the crystal, the object that has to be destroyed to win the game, just happens to be used as a centerpiece. How convenient! It’s like the episode wants itself to end early. Before Buttercup could destroy it, we get a trumpet fanfare, and Jared and Buttercup prepare for the worst.

Jared: (drops flute) Hold on! I dropped it!

Buttercup: Geez Louise...

See, he's not an idealized coworker-insert! He's clumsy!

The Blob King shows up, and is rather small, as seen in a camera shot seemingly inspired by Battlefield Earth. The Blob King then eats one of his koala bat minions to grow to giant size. Weight gain, vore, and a little growth for good measure.

To avoid the Blob King, Buttercup and Jared roll Bubblossom like the Oompa Loompas rolled around Violet. Buttercup even gets to call them "The Chunkins Twins", because fat people! Of course, Jared goes for Blossom, in what may be the only real hint of that relationship thing. A good choice to put that way in the background, I'd say.

Buttercup grabs the Blob King's tongue in an attempt to give him a tongue twister, and just guess what happens. I’ve noticed that the recent reboot episodes now have scenes where the Powerpuff Girls take care of another monster or group of monsters before the Monster Punch Girls Down scene. In Spider Sense, it was a bunch of spider mutants, in Imagine That, it was those dust bunnies and Bubbles' other imaginary friends, and in this episode it was the Stone Golem. It's an improvement, if a very small one.

After Buttercup gets flung into the wall, Jared gets captured by the Slime King's tongue. Unlike Jared saving Buttercup by just knowing how to open the door, Jared has to give Buttercup a pointer. She still needs that wonderful Jared, after all, to tell her "two nerds, one stone".

Buttercup does the exact same thing that got them trapped in this world in reverse, shooting the crystal right into the Blob King with her bow and arrow. She even gets to use her class. Notice the other girls don't even get to keep their costumes when they get fat, that's how little they cared about them. This causes a big explosion.

In the next scene, Buttercup and Jared are back at the Powerpuff home. Buttercup learned her lesson, and now she can't wait to play the RPG with her new favorite nerd buddy! The episode ends before they realize they can't even play the game because Buttercup destroyed the rulebook.

But not before a joke with Bubblossom, who were teleported as well, who consider getting salads instead. Because they’re still fat! Look at them, they're just so fat! FAT! FAAAT!

Does the title fit?

It’s the name of the board game, and the alternate world they went in.

How does it stack up?

RPG plots have a bit of potential, especially with well established character. There are some creative ideas here and there. The door with the hands coming out of it is a highlight, and the rest of the episode doesn't really live up to that.

Not speaking of characters that are well established, there's Jared. This episode had a chance to give him some more character beyond him being the love interest. Here, he's just a clumsy nerd. The love interest part doesn't even show up in this episode, not even with Blossom, which is only a plus due to the lack of minus. It's a step forward for Jared, but it's far too late for redemption.

Thinking about it, maybe I should be glad that Blossom didn't get a bigger role. When I say bigger, I don't mean that kind of bigger. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but RPG plots have been done a lot better. It's not Galstaff, Sorcerer of Light, that's for sure.

Next week, it’s time to go to the dentist!

← Imagine That ☆ Tooth or Consequences →

[thelioncourts]

Well, talking about fics.... What are your thoughts on The Play Nice Proviso? I love it, and I've reread it more than what is probably normal, but it's just so GOOD! What are your absolute favorite J2 fic tropes? Do you like AU or non-AU more?

Oh, I love The Play Nice Proviso!!!!  It’s so funny that you bring that up because I just reread that about two weeks ago; I had moved into my apartment and had no Internet, no television, and, needing something to do, I went to my very small folder of fics saved in PDF form and decided to read one and read The Play Nice Proviso!

The Play Nice Proviso was actually one of the first J2 fics I ever read, I believe.  And it’s just. So so good.  I mean, Jensen was just so angry and not doing such a good job at hiding it and it only got worse because, despite everything he thought Jared Padalecki to be he, so far, hadn’t shown himself to be that guy and dammit the guy Jensen was seeing was really great when he wasn’t mad right back at Jensen, and ugh. And then Jared’s just in this constant state of “Love me, you gorgeous rude ass person” and literally they’re just destined to be. //sigh//  It’s such a fun take on an AU of a Non-AU and, well, it’s @qblackheart so of course it’s amazing and wonderful. 

When it comes to J2 tropes and stories, one of the great things about them, for me, is I can read just about anything.  Almost nothing is out of the realm of possibility for a J2 fic.  You can throw Jensen and Jared into a world where Jared’s a writer and Jensen is an English teacher.  You can throw them into a world where Jared’s a prince and Jensen’s a knight.  You can throw them into a world where Jared’s a pilot of a futuristic spacecraft and Jensen is an alien.

I’m pickier with Wincest in the sense of, outside of the Supernatural world, I really struggle to read stories.  I mean, it still gives room for a lot of AUs (if Sam would have become the Boy King, if Dean said yes to Michael, if they stayed Sam Wesson and Dean Smith, if Jessica never died, etc. etc.), but I couldn’t read, or justify, a story in my head where Sam owned a bakery and Dean was a business guy that worked down the street.  I can do that with J2 and it’s wonderful. 

That being said, I love a good Non-AU.  I love Non-AUs that are little snippets of what we think, what could be, their lives, and I love Non-AUs that trace their relationship from the start and into a happy-ever-after *cough* also qblackheart and The Courtship *cough* 

So I guess, when it comes to Non-AUs and AUs, I can’t really imagine not having one or the other, or liking one more than the other.  My biggest, and pickiest thing, I’m truly kind of awful about it, is that if the voices are captured in a way that I find to be believable and true, I will probably devour it.   

Regarding favorite tropes in J2 fics in general, however, I am a sucker for so much.  Like The Play Nice Proviso, give me a really good enemies to lovers story and I’m sold.  I’m a super big fan of historical AUs so I try to read as many of those as I can.  I adore the ABO trope, but I’m also even pickier with that than I am normal fics so the ones I read and enjoy a whole lot are few (but when they’re good they’re SO good).  Honestly, I’m always down for coffeeshop AUs.  I know they’re basic.  I don’t care.  Oooh, soulmate fics are also good, especially if the author finds a new way to introduce the soulmate idea.  I also love something where their jobs are entertaining and/or super relevant to the story.  I know that sounds super open-ended but....like, a story where Jared’s a surfing instructor or a story where Jensen is an artist or just something where their job is interesting and not just overshadowed by the goings-on of a story.  

Basically, I could go on and on because I love so many tropes, so many aspects to J2 fanfiction and fanfiction as a whole.  

Also:

The Play Nice Proviso by @qblackheart​

When Jensen Ackles first met Jared Padalecki, it was most definitely not love at first sight. It wasn’t even like at first sight. In fact, Jensen hated him, and he had a few good reasons as to why. So what if his new co-star was oblivious to his one-sided warfare? Jensen could deal. Apart from when he couldn’t. So when it came down to picking between Padalecki and his peace of mind, the choice seemed clear. Except for the fact that The Network had his balls in a vice, leaving him stuck with Supernatural, stuck with his idiot co-star, and worst of all, stuck with a ‘Play Nice’ Proviso added to his contract. Well, he could play nice. He would play so nice that the world was going to think that he and Jared Padalecki were the bestest friends in the history of best friends. It was unfortunate then that no one had ever told Jensen what happened when an immovable object met an irresistible force; no one had ever thought to mention that there was a thin line between hate and love; and nothing, absolutely nothing, could have possibly prepared him for Playing Nice with Jared Padalecki. 

Rating: NC-17; Word Count: ~70,000; Warnings: None