#but the idea that she did it for selfish reasons of immortality or such and not out of her own faith and respect of death and the dead

[balleater]

i've already made posts about this so many times but every time the raven queen's ascension gets brought up and its talked about like she did it for immortality or purely for power it makes me go a little insane because the story of her being a follower of the god of death before her and taking his place specifically because he didn't respect death is one of the best things about her lore in my opinion. that one of the biggest differences between her and those who failed attempts at ascension is that she did because of faith and not to spite it.

[doverstar]

THERE WAS NO OTHER ENDING FOR ROSE and ya know what, I like to think the doctor thinks so too

I think he does too! I’m gonna talk about it, are you ready for me to talk about it? Are you ready for an essay-

I think the Doctor would agree that the ending Rose got—the one with Tentoo on Pete’s World—was the best possible fate for her. I’ll explain why, because I feel like it. First I’ll break down Rose’s most popular alternative-endings. Let’s start with Rose-stays-with-him-until-she-dies. That’s the one Rose decided on long before Canary Wharf. She planned on staying with the Time Lord until she physically couldn’t anymore. Forever.

First of all, that would be painful for the Doctor. He already said it. Watching Rose get shot, drowned, stabbed, sucked into a black hole, sacrificed for a remote planet’s civilization, poisoned, pulled into a void, atomized, eaten, possessed, run over, diseased, or ripped apart would be traumatic and terrible for the Doctor.

Watching Rose grow old and tired and then die would also be incredibly painful. He might try to prolong her life in alien ways, even in medical ways, but then she’s subjected to an unnatural, un-human existence until death claims her. Making a naturally-decaying body stick around and eke out another year, another hour, another century while he watches, exactly the same as ever. Yikes. Not fun for either of them. No thank you. He was against that ending with good reason.

Now, this ending where Rose stays with him until she dies? It is no less an emotional commitment to make than the one every married couple on Earth, every affectionate relationship on Earth, makes. Friends, family, spouses. You will lose them. You have to decide to love them knowing that.

The Doctor does love Rose, but he can’t tell her or admit it aloud because to do that would be facing a reality he’s not willing to face: he loves something he will inevitably lose. The old coward will not do it.

I believe that if Rose wanted to stay with him until she died, knowing she has a shorter lifespan but committing to holding his hand until she could not hold it anymore because he needs that and she can give it to him, and she knows he loves her back—100% yes girl, go for it. That is good and right and fine and she should be allowed to make that commitment. That’s love. That’s literal marriage vows. That’s unconditional, unwavering, and Rose is the first companion in 60 years of TARDIS passengers to love him like that. And he knows it. And it’s scary. But. Even in marriage, that is a commitment that has to be agreed upon by both parties. And the Doctor did not agree. The Doctor, selfish old man, is too afraid. He doesn’t want to watch Rose die, and he tried to explain that to her without confessing anything, and she heard him and tried to explain to him that she decided he would always have her if she had anything to say about it, not for her sake, but for his. (“Who’s gonna hold his hand now?” “I made my choice a long time ago and I’m never gonna leave you.” “Forever.”)

Now. That’s the first option for an alternate ending for Rose. She stays with him as a mortal and he has to watch her die, and they either dance around expressing their love in an unspoken, inexplicit way until he loses her and it’s agony, or they jump in with both feet and enjoy the time they have left, however many days Rose has before death, with the knowledge and understanding that he will outlive her, which is agony but with kissing. Still not 100% happy because one of them is, well, in agony. With a significantly long life stretched out ahead of him to spend as a widower. And it would fundamentally change the nature of a 60-year-old television show, but that’s another Ask for another time. Next is the Immortal!Rose AU, or the Bad Wolf AU. Personally, I don’t care for this AU (though I get the appeal and I do sometimes wish it could be that way). I used to think it was a good idea, and sometimes it's still sweet and I can see it, but the older I got, the more I disagreed with it. Because really, it doesn’t work. The AU’s idea—or its most popular explanation—is that Rose, by absorbing the Time Vortex and looking into the heart of the TARDIS in The Parting of the Ways, retained one slice of her godlike powers: she became immortal. Even after the Doctor kissed her and took the Vortex away to save her. The most-used version of this is that neither Rose nor the Doctor are aware that Rose was left with immortality until Tentoo ages and she doesn’t, or her family ages and she doesn’t.

The reason why I don’t think the Doctor would ultimately want this ending for Rose? The Doctor himself would not recommend immortality. He knows it’s ultimately a devastating existence. He himself has a ridiculously-long lifespan. Time Lords are supposed to only have a certain number of regenerations, but each regeneration, if left to age naturally, lives a long freaking time. (With the new Timeless Child nonsense, who knows, apparently the Doctor exclusively is immortal? I pretend I do not see it.) And then if they should die of old age, they regenerate and another chapter of life begins. So the Doctor knows what it’s like to essentially be immortal. And he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like watching his friends die around him. He doesn’t like knowing he will outlive the people and places he cares about. He hates it. “Immortality is everybody else dying.” “In the end you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust.” That last line, the Lazarus speech, sounds familiar because it’s something similar, interestingly, to what Rose said when she was the Bad Wolf. “Everything comes to dust.” Immortality is not a blessing. Immortality is absolutely a curse, and the show treats it like a curse. It’s not just never dying. Immortality is being alone and being unnatural. It’s bad. It’s not a good thing. If you were a 100% perfect person with a 100% perfect memory, it might be doable, but it’s not an easy existence. It sounds awful actually. We saw it with Ashildr (terrible idea). She’s miserable. She never really stops being miserable. Think about this: the Doctor is (kind of) immortal. He never stays in one place for too long, and he is careful to bring along far more mortal traveling companions wherever he goes. The Doctor once told Amy that he brought her with him because he can’t “see it” anymore (meaning the universe and its value), but he brings Amy and others with him because they can see it. “And when you see it, I see it.” What is everyone always telling him? Don’t travel alone. Not because he’s lonely—even though he totally is. It’s because when he is alone, the Doctor becomes a hazard, not a help. He starts to feel like he can do whatever he wants. I mean, think about it. He starts to feel like his judgement is infallible, because he’s basically a god, isn’t he? But no one should have that much power. It takes a lot to kill him, he’s a genius, and he has a time-and-space machine. What can’t he do? After a long, long, long time of living and being alone, essentially in an echo chamber with himself, the Doctor would lose empathy and compassion and humility just like anyone else. Because he’s not perfect. But he brings friends along to remind him he can stop now. To remind him we don’t walk away. To remind him that the universe has life in it that is worth saving, and that there is such a thing as right and wrong, and that he is not God, and that there is no such thing as little people. 900 years of time and space and he’s never met anybody who wasn’t important before. He needs his friends to hold him to the mark.

So—the Doctor knows that being immortal basically means that in the end you’ll see everything come to dust. If you’re not careful, you won’t be you anymore. And nothing and no one else will be themselves to you, either. You will lose the people/places you care about, and you will be alone, and you will stop caring. And then not only will you be wretched, you’ll be dangerous. Someone who doesn’t care is dangerous. It’s Ted Bundy. It’s evil. But it’s okay, I hear you saying. If they had each other, he would always have someone to hold him to the mark! Well - yes and then no - Think about Rose. Rose Tyler is a young human woman with so much empathy and sympathy. She is “so human”, in the Doctor’s own words. She is imperfect, and selfish, and petty, and easily angry and easily jealous. She is also impossibly compassionate, even towards the most ruthless murderous species. She’s kind and generous and brave and has a strong sense of justice. She’s often very selfless and very loving. Especially toward the Doctor. She values doing the right thing. A lot of those traits are found in the Doctor’s other friends (he chooses them with great care). But Rose is different. The Doctor is in love with Rose. And Rose is a lot of ‘firsts’ for Doctor Who. She’s the first companion to inspire change in a Dalek. She’s the first companion to tell him she’s in love with him. (Jo loved him, Sarah Jane loved him, Grace loved him, yes I know there were others.) She’s the first companion to be a real, proper onscreen equal to the Doctor, and not in a She’s Basically the Doctor But A Girl way, like Clara Oswald tried to be. She is not his assistant, his carer, his associate, his sidekick, his adoptive daughter, adoptive little sister, biological granddaughter, or his partner. Not to be Emily Bronte, but these two characters have the same heart. Like recognized like and fell in love. Perfect complementation. That is also another Ask for another time –

RTD said that Rose “humans [the Doctor] and he Time Lords her”. He brings out the courage and confidence in her that makes her so exceptional as a human, things that turn her into a hero, things she already had in her that the Doctor pulled forward. In turn, she brings out the compassion and humility in him that makes him a hero instead of a villain, things he always had in him that she pulled forward, adding humanity which would otherwise be easy for him to cast off.

But she can’t human him if she isn’t human anymore.

The things that make Rose an exceptional mortal would no longer be exceptional if she were immortal. The good traits would be a duty to retain, and the bad traits would be a poison to keep at bay. Because Rose is on a different level when it comes to her relationship with the Doctor, she could, for a time, help hold him to the mark. They would be exactly as we saw them in the show—passing by, helping out, saving the day, loving one another, making one another better. And then after eons go by, they would be each other’s echo chamber. Rose is the Doctor’s equal? Given eternity to stagnate in, what was once a strength would quickly become a weakness. Rose is not perfect and the Doctor is not perfect. Rose would not always be able to “see it” anymore either, even with the Doctor there. Same goes for him. They might be together forever, but Rose would be watching her mother, father, brother, friends, and family all age and die. She would hate that. But it would be okay because she has the Doctor, right? I agree with that. They have one another. So they’re never alone. That’s good. But Rose would not be a Time Lord. She’d be an immortal human. Ashildr 2.0, finite memory in an infinite body. She’d become detached, unable to appreciate the universe, and she’d stop investing in mortal relationships because they all end eventually. All she’d have would be the Doctor—and that’s wonderful, but after a while it would stop being a special thing that they have one another. Don’t look at me like that; it would. Okay, no – no - even if the Bad Wolf powers allowed Rose to have an infinite memory to go with her infinite body, fine, let’s say they did, she and the Doctor would still end up with “a backyard” as Eleven called it.

And eventually they would both think that the two of them, together, have the best judgement in the universe and should be treated as gods, and they will stop caring (except about each other, which doesn’t sound good for all the little people who are not part of that relationship, can you say unhealthy?). Or else they will become enemies, the way the Master and the Doctor became enemies. Or they won’t be able to travel with one another indefinitely, the way Ashildr, the Rani, River, Clara, and Romana can’t travel with the Doctor indefinitely. Because it would become toxic for everyone. And they would be back to being miserable, wouldn’t they?

(And – again -  let me finish beating this tiny horse here: if you think Rose Tyler would heal fairly quickly - say, ten centuries in - and warm up to the reality that she has outlived other humans because she is really no longer human, we aren’t thinking of the same Rose Tyler.)

The Doctor would not wish the curse of the Time Lords on anybody, especially not the woman he loves. He would not agree that immortality is the happiest ending for Rose, or even for himself and Rose. There’s a very real chance that immortality would ruin Rose. He wouldn’t do that to her. He loves her.

And here we go, here’s my freaking point - The Doctor loves Rose. So he would give her what she wants, even if it means sacrificing what he wants. Putting her needs before his own. That’s love. She knows that; she was trying to do that for him the whole time!

But what does Rose want? Adventure in the great wide somewhere? No. Rose wants love. Rose wants the assurance of real, true love. Rose wants to love and be loved. And when she finds that, she is darn good at it, and she will do her best to keep it. AND THAT IS ANOTHER ASK FOR ANOTHER TIME, HOOOO BOY DON’T POKE ME- The Doctor cannot give Rose what she wants using himself, or even the thing that will make him happy too, for a time—because to outlive her would be absolutely terrible, and they both know it, and because he will not put her through the curse of immortality. (She doesn’t want to live forever anyway.)

But he can give her what she wants in the form of Tentoo. Are you kidding me? A 100% exact copy of the Doctor? The same face, same mannerisms, same hair? All the memories of loving her and longing for her in his head? And he only has one heart? He’ll grow old at the same time as Rose does? Plus, hi, he actually was born in mini wartime and needs the very influence Rose provided for his ninth self? Come on. What else was he going to do? Of course the Doctor and Tentoo gave her this chance. When Rose asks him “What was the last thing you said to me?” The Doctor could have said “I love you”. He was going to say it. It is canon that he was going to say that he loved her if the connection hadn’t been severed the first time. And for him to say it then, they both knew, would have been all Rose needed to hear. She would have gone with him and Donna and died. Or gone with him and Donna and become immortal somehow, hey I hear there are these random Mire repair kits kicking around out there in the universe, they make people immortal, funny we never saw them before now, I hate you Moffat- But he didn’t say it. He said “I said ‘Rose Tyler’.” And she gives him one more chance to say it. “How was that sentence gonna end?” “Does it need saying?” Well, no, it doesn’t. We’re not asking you to confirm it. She’s not asking you to confirm it. It never needed saying. You both knew it was love. We knew it was love. A hundred times over, it was love on display.

But she is asking him to make a choice—and he chooses to let her go because he loves her.

It’s not a question of love. They give each other a chance, both of them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking Rose had no choice. She asked both of those Doctors to tell her they loved her, and she chose the one that said it out loud, after learning her options. She learned one of them would grow old and was offering to spend forever with her if she wanted. She learned that one of them was genuinely choosing not to say he loved her on purpose.  She made an informed decision. (Yes, she ran after the TARDIS when it left. Wouldn’t you?) The Doctor would agree that Tentoo is the best ending for Rose. Tentoo would agree (because he is the Doctor, and bonus, he gets to have Rose Tyler). Because this, this ending where she gets Tentoo, which is our fancy term for differentiating between two versions of exactly the same man, don’t go there with me-

This ending where she gets Tentoo is genuinely what she always wanted. She didn’t want to live forever. She didn’t want a boring life, but she didn’t desperately want adventure over all else. She wanted love. That’s an adventure anyway. Love. And she loved the Doctor. And she got to have the Doctor, and not lose him, or watch him lose her. And the Doctor, our full Time Lord Doctor, had the assurance of knowing that he did the best he could do for the woman he loved.

(Plus, because yes please, in an official deleted scene which has been confirmed to be intended as canon, Tentoo and Rose have a chunk of TARDIS coral and are growing their own, so they get to see the universe too, so you can’t even complain that all is not as it should be in that sense.) It is sad, because the full Time Lord has to carry on without her (that’s how the story always goes for him, and it should be because without loving and losing, an immortal alien will not have the periodic wake-up call he needs to remember that there is value in people and in relationships and in caring), and it’s sad because Rose won’t see him again, and it’s sad because we won’t really see Rose again. But for her, it is the best ending. It is the kindest, fairest ending. And I think the Doctor would agree.

[cartoon-angerr]

I'm gonna try to explain my characters' confusing ass lore the best way I can,, This is still a WIP but here's the general idea!

My OC story takes place in two different worlds: one, Sygnalus, is populated with immortal Swans with one eye and the second, Canilon, with cartoony-looking Dogs. A mysterious Gate separates the two worlds: if a Dog happened to enter it nothing would happen, but if a Swan happened to enter the Gate, they would be changed into a terrifying creature barely resembling a Dog nor a Swan. FOREVER. This creature fortunately has the ability to shapeshift into a normal cartoon Dog, masking their frightening appearance. The Swans know about the Gate, the Dogs never acknowledged its existence.

The Swans in the first picture are from left to right Guillaz, Novaal and Mihpares. King Guillaz was the first Swan in Sygnalus history to enter the Gate, as a punishment for being a terrible king and almost murdering one of his subjects. Although, no Swan knew the Gate would change her into a horrible creature, since every Swan was too scared to try to go through it in the first place. Guillaz's wife, Queen Felna, was the one sending him through the Gate, her and the guards accompanying her witnessing them slowly losing his feathers and turning into a monster. The Gate was then locked with big chains and no one was ever allowed to enter the forest where it was located ever again. Guillaz could never return to Sygnalus, she disappeared into Canilon and no one ever heard of him since.

Around 400 years later, Queen Felna retired, giving the crown to her son Touan and his best friend Novaal. Two years later, the two rulers decided to go in the forest no one was allowed in. They were the rulers after all, nothing could happen to them right? They eventually came near the Gate. Novaal didn't know why this mysterious area of the forest was locked with chains, Touan having to remember her that they learned the reason in history class. The Swan suspiciously asked his friend how she didn't know that important part of history, Novaal admitting to him that she never paid attention to her history classes and that they were "too long ago"… Which is just an excuse, Swans may be immortal but have an excellent memory. Touan abstained himself to explain to Novaal who was exiled to the other side and what the Gate did to Guillaz, instead lying and telling her unknown poor creatures were suffering and desperately needed help in the other world. Novaal believed him fully, wanting to find a solution to help said creatures. A few days later, she decided to enter the Gate, Touan promising to accompany her in her adventure. But once they got to the Gate and removed the chains, Touan suddenly pushed her through it, Novaal turning into a monster as well. The traitor locked the chains of the portal once again, leaving his "friend" stuck to the other side. He made up a lie for his subjects to believe about Queen Novaal dying, even organizing a funeral for her. He then ruled Sygnalus by himself, all of his subjects slowly becoming as selfish and mean as he is, as years passed. All but one: Mihpares.

Around a decade after Novaal's funeral, every Swan became absolutely horrible with each other, Touan still being on the throne by himself. Mihpares was being mistreated by all for being nice, having to isolate herself in a house, alone from everyone, confused about what happened to every bird’s behavior over the time. Swans even started to get murdered out of nowhere, a few rumors circulating about someone seeing a monstrous beast entering the forbidden forest, which the majority didn't believe. Mihpares wasn't surprised, she thought Swans became so horrible with each other that they started to murder one another, blaming an imaginary beast to hide their crimes. She was glad she isolated herself from every bird, but still received a journal from time to time to keep herself in touch with what was happening. One day, she acknowledged by her window a brown creature she never saw before, seemingly freezing in the cold. She left her house and carefully spoke to the creature, politely introducing herself. The other seemed pretty surprised by Mihpares' behavior but introduced herself as well. Her name was Screebip and she was a coyote, or a Dog, for short. She told the bird that she accidentally entered a mysterious Gate that lead her to this world, but it seemed that she lost her memory while entering the portal. Mihpares invited the Dog to her house, Screebip being allowed to stay as long as she wished, to help her get her memory back. Which was a lie: the coyote never lost her memory, it was just an excuse to try to murder Mihpares. And she tried, countless times, each attempt failing. The Swan never noticed and kept being nice to her guest.

Screebip is Novaal. The Swan became a terrifying Dog after entering the Gate a decade ago, but learned about her shapeshifting abilities quickly. She found a village populated by other Dogs and discreetly spied on them to learn their behavior: she was one of them now and had to adapt to their lives. Every Dog village seemed to be pretty tense and wars occurred sometimes, but apparently no one even knew what they were fighting about… Novaal found herself a new identity as a coyote named Screebip, and tried to help the villagers of each town she ever went to by bringing smiles and cheering them up. Touan wasn't so wrong when he said creatures needed her help, after all… She had to change places constantly after time, no one should know she never aged and still had her immortal abilities. And so, village after village, years after years, she ended up in her current town, having a job as a babysitter, hired by two farmers named Terencia and Caro, with their three pups. Although, one day Screebip wasn’t working at the farm, she found a way to break the old chains of the Gate. Screebip wasn't able to change into a Swan so she had to be careful not to be seen by the Sygnalus inhabitants. She realized everyone became horrible people because of their current king and, thinking there's nothing she could do about it, constantly murdered Swans in hope that one day she'll get to Touan, the one that ruined everything.

Screebip finally had hope when meeting Mihpares, but she was the only Swan she could trust. She stayed at Mihpares' house for a while, deciding she wouldn't kill her even though she was still secretly murdering other Swans and trying to get to Touan nonetheless. The murders were increasing. MASSIVELY.

One day, every Swan was ordered to come in Touan's palace, each receiving a letter to their house, Mihpares included. She didn't want to go, remembering how everyone treated her in the past, but you better not decline an order of the king… Screebip having to stay home, Mihpares flew alone to the palace. Every Swan was pretty surprised to see her reappear again but kept on being their mean selves, as usual. Nothing has changed. Touan had a speech in the throne room, finally speaking up about the murders and that if anyone had any information, to report to the authorities immediately. Mihpares was one of the firsts to exit after the meeting but was later stopped by a bunch of Swans, insulting her and soon getting violent, in front of Touan, who did nothing to stop them and left as if nothing was happening. She escaped their claws, flying away as quickly as her wings could, beaten up and feeling horrible. She returned home, Screebip noticing her friend looking messy and upset. Mihpares assured her she was fine but later broke down in the coyote's arms, telling her everything that happened, including the names of the Swans that beat her up. The Dog being secretly a Swan in the past knew who Mihpares was talking about. Furious, she silently promised her friend she would avenge her. And the night after the incident, she did.

That was the event that made Touan figure out something was going on with Mihpares. The exact Swans bullying her being killed hours after? Weird. But what about the rumors about someone seeing a monstrous beast entering the forbidden forest? Then he realized. He saw his old friend changing into a beast in this forest years ago. The Gate. He had to check. He went in the forbidden forest. The chains of the Gate were broken.

The day after the last murders, Mihpares received a second letter from Touan. She had to come immediately to his palace. She was so scared: did the king think she was behind the murders? Screebip promised to stay home but soon followed her friend discreetly, to keep an eye on her. Mihpares entered the throne room, guards from every side. There were more than usual… Touan was watching her from the other side of the room. He stared at her and soon spoke. But not to Mihpares. "I know you're hiding. Show yourself, Novaal." It's with Mihpares and every guard's surprise that Screebip, hiding in the castle, slowly appeared. But why in the world would their king call an unknown creature by the name of their deceased queen? Out of nowhere, glad she finally got to the one she wanted dead for so long, Screebip revealed her true appearance, horrible creature with a dislocated long neck, sharp claws and a constant disfiguring grin. Novaal then jumped in Touan's direction, every guard trying to stop her attempt, even though they were all equally confused by what just happened. So was Mihpares, who didn't move a feather and was helplessly staring at the scene taking place in front of her eyes. Touan ordered her to join the guards. So she did. She took a heavy wooden debris from a trolley broken in the battle, and without even thinking, slammed it in the head of a few Swans attacking Novaal. And she did it again. And again. It was a real carnage, blood everywhere, lifeless bodies laying on the floor. An other flock of Swans soon came for reinforcements, and them being too many, Novaal and Mihpares had to escape the palace. They ran, far away from the guards chasing them, to the forest. Novaal remembered Mihpares about what would happen if she entered the Gate, but the bird didn’t care, running heads first into the portal, followed by Novaal. The Swan started to lose her feathers, each replaced by short black fur instead. Her neck dislocated itself, her wings became claws. She looked scary but she never felt happier in her life, hugging Novaal as tight as she could. They both ran away in their new world, Canilon, under Touan and the guard's beaks, all still shocked by the two monsters that just escaped in front of their eyes.

Mihpares later found a new identity as Scotch, a white fluffy dog. Screebip and Scotch returned to Terencia and Caro's farm, helping the farmers as much as they could in everyday tasks and babysitting.

But what happened to Guillaz? I'll go in detail later… but he's still alive.

That was long as hell but it's not even half of it I'm afraid.. So for context!!! Picture one: Guillaz, Novaal and Mihpares as Swans Picture two: Guillaz, Novaal and Mihpares as "dislocated" Dogs Picture three: Guillaz (Romain), Novaal (Screebip) and Mihpares (Scotch) disguised as Dogs

(This story and its characters are much inspired off Lauren Bousfield (Nero's Day At Disneyland)'s music ^_^)

[downtherabbithole-tumbleedition]

Momento Mori, Momento Vivere

A Tom Riddle x OC Fanfiction

Remember you must die, so remember to live.

-

'Til death do we part'. For how long should such a vow be honoured? Through thick and thin, sickness and in health... but what about when her husband turns into the most sinister Dark Lord wizarding Britain has ever seen? What about when death is no longer an option for her?

What if she has to choose between the boy she raised and the man she swore to always love?

(Cross posted on A03)

It didn't take Sabrina long to decide immortality was a twisted, haunting thing. Perhaps the idea of it was appealing; living forever in the prime of your life, an untouched form of art immune to time itself... to be the very thing men waged wars over. But it should have remained an idea, a hypothetical, an untouchable wish. Would she curse such a reality on her worst enemy?

There were perks to it, of course, it wasn't so sought after for nothing. Sabrina remained perfect, pristine, barely a wrinkle in sight, her hair as shining as it always had been rather than painted white by the cruel truth of time. Those around her spent galleons upon galleons on spells, charms or potions to undo what time had done to them, to reclaim their youth, to appear even a fraction as young as she did.

A fickle and vain thing, perhaps, but she had wondered many times if she would shatter on the inside if her beauty was stolen from her. It wasn't something she had always had, certainly not gifted to her from birth... People who have been beautiful their whole lives do not know what it's like to be unwanted, so they have no fear of being ugly. But when good looks are gained through age, one grips onto them to the point of claw marks.

But no mortal set the world on fire for youth, no, they wanted to evade death himself.

That was the point, wasn't it? The only reason Sabrina was immortal was because someone decided they couldn't bear to see her die; a selfless act, one would believe, but Sabrina knew she was only alive out of pure selfishness, the refusal to grieve her.

Death wasn't evil, he was a gift. Mortals have a lifespan for a reason, after all. There is only so much loss and grief a heart can take before it breaks, perhaps it still pumped blood into her veins and kept her body functioning, but the pitiful organ had died many years before... one too many corpses, few too many smiles. Sabrina had certainly thought she was immune to death, that the news of a friend going cold could no longer pull on her severed heart strings.

But they were so young.

Lily and James Potter had been some of her favourite students - Lily with her brilliance, James with his mischief. Sabrina really did not believe herself to have a maternal bone in her body, but even she couldn't deny the tender spot the two had carved for themselves in her heart. Green eyes, wild black hair... She loved the two like her children.

And they were gone, their souls cast away from their bodies with only a simple green spell, all because of a crazed man and a stupid prophecy. Something she could have prevented perhaps, had she tried hard enough.

So, no, Sabrina did not consider immortality to be a blessing or something worth destroying worlds for, not when she had witnessed every person she had ever loved die or fall to ruin. It was a terrible, inevitable thing - better to not love at all than have your heart beaten and abused.

“Sirius Black has been found guilty of conspiring with the Dark Lord.”

That was just salt in the wound, the blood leaving Sabrina’s face quickly enough to rival a ghost. She’d thought she was going mad when Albus first told her or that he was playing some twisted joke on her, but there was not a trace of humour on the old man’s face.

“You don’t actually believe that, do you?” Sabrina questioned him, tone drowning in disbelief, grip almost tight enough to break the delicate tea cup.

Albus was silent, no longer even sparing her glance - the old man had always been impossible to read but she figured it was either grief or guilt, granted the two often went hand and hand for the puppeteer that was Albus Dumbledore.

Sabrina fought tooth and nail to prove Sirius’ innocence, revealing every card she had available, pulling every trick she ever knew, anything to save him from such a fate. But without Albus vouching for him, it was basically useless.

There was still that horrible feeling in her stomach, that sickening sludge of guilt and mourning - a sensation she didn’t know was possible until Sirius looked at her with those grey eyes, usually so dauntless, laced with tears and fear. He’d wrapped himself around her like a child running to their mother after hearing a scary story, as if he believed she could protect him. She had failed him and lost a third child.

Sabrina didn’t want to see Albus, not after what he’d done (or failed to do), but there was still a question lingering on her tongue. Truth be told, she didn’t want to ask it; knowing would only lead her to complications and remorse, until the guilt inside of her became too much and overflowed to impulsive actions of sympathy.

Still, it had to be asked.

“What of the boy?”

Harry James Potter, only a year old and somehow the catalyst for so much tragedy. But oftentimes a catalyst is never willing to be part of destructive schemes.

Surprisingly, Albus told her the truth about Harry (perhaps that should have been her first sign that something was amiss because the man was hardly ever truthful), but she almost wished she hadn’t known. His honesty had done nothing to ease the growing rage inside of her, only adding fuel to flame.

He didn’t put up a fight when she said she wouldn’t allow Harry to grow up in such an environment, not before she ensured it was safe with her own eyes.

It wasn’t.

On the surface, the Dursley’s seemed like a lovely family. White picket fence, loving marriage, healthy son they spoiled rotten - muggles often examined things at a surface level, leaving well enough alone lest they pry into something ugly. But Vernon and Petunia Dursley held a sinister secret, and it was the screaming baby they left in the upstairs bedroom.

Sabrina wasn’t certain how such a noise didn’t alert the entire neighborhood, but she supposed the eighties weren’t so different from the forties; people swept things under the rug, ignored them unless they were right in their face. Maybe the Dursley’s neighbors willingly ignored the neglected baby boy, or perhaps they did not care enough to hear in the first place.

She lost her breath when she saw him; forest green eyes, hair as black as night… An unforgettable scar that was sure to cause him a lot of harm as he grew older.

Sabrina had promised herself she would finally harden her heart to the world, but how could she when the boy in front of her was innocent to the world, when his only crime was being born? Would she be any better than Albus Dumbledore if she simply allowed him to suffer his entire life?

Having already made up her mind, Sabrina gently cradled the boy, silently promising to never let any harm befall him.

She didn’t know how difficult it would be to keep such a promise.

[the-monkey-ruler]

I want to ask about Houyi, if we assume the suns were bringing pain to humanity, why did the Jade Emperor and the other gods do nothing or not want to? Or couldn't they do anything? Also, Houyi's ending seems a bit tragic to me, but I don't know how many versions there are of the story. That the gods gave him that ending wasn't unfair?

If I had to give a straight answer as to why Houyi had to do it it’s in story reason is that HouYi is meant to be the world’s greatest archer and that’s why he is the one to shoot down the suns, and out of story reason is that if he wasn’t the one to do it, then the story wouldn’t be about Chang’e and Houyi. Sure there could be a million ways about other gods taking down the suns… but now Houyi is irrelevant and has no story anymore. Like I get what you’re trying to say about the same point you have to understand this is folklore, this isn’t like a comic book universe where other gods can just swoop in. There were even contradictions within stories! Hence why you just have to be aware of most of them, and see which ones are most popular that most people ran with.

From what I’ve seen, there were two popular versions of the stories with at least 4 different endings. One being that Houyi and Chang'e were normal humans and that they were given immortal pills as a reward for shooting down the suns, not that they were being punished. And from there, it is whether Chang'e stole the pills all herself OR she was trying to hide the pills from HouYi's jealous rival and she accidentally swallowed them all while hiding them in her mouth. That is more on Chang'e's character and whether she was either a thoughtful wife or not, depends on who is saying it.

But yes another version is that Houyi was tasked to shoot down the sun but he was actually trying to shoot down them ALL! And that is a HORRIBLE idea to shoot all the suns down. His last arrow was stopped by King Yao or Xihe (the sun's mother) to spare at least one of her children before he could shoot them all THAT is what he was punished for. Because while he was tasked to shoot down the sun, killing them all would also lead to humanity's downfall making him a villain. OR That HouYi was ORDERED to shoot all tens suns down and that he ONLY shot the nine. And THAT is what he got in trouble for, for he was actually a hero looking out for humanity and went against an order despite the suns being criminals making him a hero but still punished for his defiance. From there he goes to get the immorality from the Queen Mother but still whether Chang'e was either selfish or trying to protect the pills comes into play.

Those are the popular, two versions but there MORE! Like another version of the story is that after HouYi shot down the suns when he was on earth he actually became the king of his land and then a horrible tyrant. He was so cruel that Chang'e took the first chance she got and swallowed all of the immortal pills to escape his wrath. But without his wife he repented for his sins and tried to win her back but never could reach the moon where she fled for her own safety.

What I'm trying to say here is that... there is a lot of stories about Houyi and not all of them are good. In some stories, he is a guy that was doing his job and was punished for being sent out to kill another goddess's children. In another version, he is a cruel man who rather put the world into darkness for the sake of the hunt. Another is a lost husband who last his wife in tragedy. And another he is a horrible husband that even his own wife tried to escape him and left him on earth. I'm going to be honest, I see more versions of HouYi from the Western Han Dynasty were he was being rewarded with the pills of immorality to come up to heaven to anything else because that is considered what is the most logical in storytelling. And whether Houyi was a bad man or Chang'e was a selfish woman is bounced back and forth from there.

There are a lot of reasons that these stories could have changed over the years and I'm even sure what came first. Perhaps he was an evil man at the start and thus his punishment at the end makes sense, and as time progresses the story makes HouYi more sympathetic as a good man but now the punishment at the end doesn't fit.

Bt if anything this kind of morally grey area can make Houyi a far more interesting character! I think why he and Chang'e's story is still so popular is that it can be changed and seen in so many different ways! Maybe making him the villain, a misunderstood anti-hero, a pure-hearted heart-of-gold sweetheart, there can be so much done with him! I would say that don't feel too beat up by Houyi's story because there are at least seven other versions that either explain why he deserved it and he's a villain or why he went against his order and is a hero. And that is one of the great things about such old folklore is that you can interpret the story how you want to as well. Either way, he is a character in a tragedy love story... so of course he is a tragic character.

Endings:

Mortal and Rewarded, Wife screwed him over

Mortal and Rewarded, Wife and Him were both screwed over

God and Punished, He tried to Overkill

God and Punished, He was Merciful

God and Punished, Wife screwed him over

God and Punished, Wife and Him were both screwed over

Mortal and Reward, Wife ran away from Abuser

God and Punished, Wife ran away from Abuser

https://baike.baidu.hk/item/%E5%90%8E%E7%BE%BF/1504

[bestworstcase]

what i do find very amusing about the perennial penny 3.0 discoursing is how the salem question is alternately ignored altogether or answered with contorted and flatly counter-textual lines of reasoning to the effect that it’s okay when ruby does it because reasons—often, because salem is positioned rhetorically as selfish in her desire whereas reviving penny is construed as a rejection of her ‘sacrifice’ inasmuch as asking to be mercy killed whilst bleeding out through your ruptured aorta qualifies as self-sacrifice. not coincidentally, the central conceit underlying most penny 3.0 theories is that penny is at fault for her own death and resurrection is posed often quite overtly as a punishment for dying—in that penny must be brought back in order to rebuke her for ‘throwing her life away’ and/or spitting in the faces of everyone who tried to save her.

which is unhinged, obviously, but as it pertains to the reading of salem it’s equal parts funny and mystifying; salem really doesn’t try very hard or go to any great lengths to get ozma back, she asks the gods and takes no for an answer. if dark had likewise turned her away it is implied very strongly that her next step would have been suicide, which is exactly why they punish her by making her immortal. subsequently she dedicates one hundred percent of her efforts not towards bringing ozma back but to trying to free herself from immortality. meanwhile ozma is waiting for her in the afterlife and readily chooses to return when he learns she’s never going to reach him there. both of them—both of them—fully intended to reunite in death. there is not a single indication that salem ever did more than asking the gods to restore him to life. her initial goal was to find a way to follow him, and nowadays what she wants is explicitly for him to stop coming back.

so insofar as salem poses a narrative challenge to penny 3.0 it’s that salem accepted that she couldn’t bring ozma back without incurring divine wrath which would fall on his head before falling on hers—the god of light incinerates ozma in her arms and she spends the rest of the altercation futilely trying to shield him—and therefore chose not to try, for hundreds of millions of years. is this not an act of love? to let him go and endure eternity alone, until he chose to return for her.

the coherent answer to this challenge of course is for penny to ascend, and more broadly for light’s interference with the cycle of rebirth to be ended, but penny 3.0 theories tend to avoid if not actively reject that idea because, again, at the core resurrection is being positioned as a necessary moral lesson, implicitly punitive in nature. and the difficulty of the salem question for that lens is that salem is textually right—it was not wrong for her to petition the gods, nor to lash out in anger when they revealed their rules to be cruel and arbitrary, and further and more importantly she was right to stop there, ultimately leaving the choice to come back up to ozma. fundamentally this is what makes the eventual ozlem reconciliation narratively possible—that she chose to let him go and he chose to return for her.

but the penny 3.0 reading needs there to be a right way to not let a loved one go—to bring them back—and while the obvious way to do that is to take the categorical stance that salem had every right to ask for ozma back, penny 3.0 folks by and large are not willing to do that and also can’t meaningfully engage with salem’s acceptance of death and so we get the contortions to justify how salem wanting ozma back was selfish but it’s okay for ruby and penny. and it’s funny because salem let him go.

[found--family]

Gotham Knights predictions for the finale! 

I've made guesses throughout the season for how things might progress with characters and plot - most were wrong, which I love because I was pleasantly surprised, but some were right: like fugue!Harvey being Duela's real father and I truly love that twist so much! My point: this show delivers every week on the twists so I'm gonna put my theories here knowing they're probably not accurate and we'll probably be pleasantly surprised yet again, but it helps to lay everything out (heads up: I'm only focusing on Harvey, Rebecca and Duela in this post).

re: Harvey + Rebecca + Duela 

Harvey has been captured by the Talons/Rebecca. So has Duela? 

1. I'm so curious to see whether Rebecca tries to wake dark!Harvey hoping he'll join her side, because he did spin that being with Rebecca was for Harvey's benefit so maybe he knows she's evil but doesn't care? Or whether Harvey will invite dark!Harvey to take over so he can stop Rebecca and save them - but I wonder if dark!Harvey will then choose to side with Rebecca? 

2. In the trailer we hear Rebecca say Look who's come out to play, and since she knows Harvey's musical trigger she's probably the one to bring out dark!Harvey. The question is: why? Does she want to offer him the chance to join her side in her evil plan? It stands to reason that dark!Harvey knew about her because she let him out and he was still down to fool around. Perhaps she sees dark!Harvey as more of a wild card, harder to control, but he could still be a strong ally [re:pawn] if she helps get him relected as DA and/or Mayor. 

3. In any case: what happens when dark!Harvey takes control? Given his self proclaimed status as Harvey's protector - specifically against the court - it doesn't really make sense that he would join dangerous Rebecca (and keep control just to spite him) but Harvey did 'kill' him so maybe he takes some time to be selfish, which could include Rebecca offering him the same deal of immortality and maybe even a way to stay in control indefinitely? 

4. In the trailer for 1x13 we see dark!Harvey laughing in the same owl hall Rebecca is in. Has she set him free? Is he setting his own double-cross plan in motion? Another snippet shows (presumably) dark!Harvey holding a gun: it's pointed to the ground along with his eyesight so whoever/whatever he's shooting at is on the ground and honestly I have no idea aside from him needing to wound/kill someone (but he told harvey in their dream convo that neither of them were killers, so is this their first kill?) but maybe something is more likely. 

5. Though it makes some sense, personally I don't want dark!Harvey to side with Rebecca because he's not a villain (yet). I want her to try and sell him immortality (and possibly control) but he refuses - but may also play her for a bit first? Maybe he agrees to her plan if only to be freed of his restraints. In any case, things get complicated with Duela.. 

6. Duela is bound in a warmly-lit room that looks to be the same place as Rebecca (pointing a gun at her?*) and dark!Harvey (laughing at her?*) beside a ticking bomb. Tens of thousands of people will die, Duela argues and the flip of the former Joker's daughter and small-time criminal wanting to save innocent people while the former white knight DA of Gotham is now an unhinged adversary is top-notch storytelling. 

* 6b. it could be that dark!Harvey is laughing at Rebecca, and at a separate point she is pointing the gun at Harvey (who is now back in control): warning him not to try and save his own daughter, making him choose and making her choose between having dark!Harvey at her side or killing Harvey (because he doesn't have any Electrum in him yet so he can't heal from a gunshot and will likely be left behind to be blown to bits alongside Duela). 

7. It's unclear how Duela came to be where she is. Her mother would only betray her for a high price - at the end of 1x12 we see her drug Duela and say the money is just too good, so perhaps she intends to collect on the ransom for the last fugitive. Does Duela escape? But before she can help free her friends a Talon captures her and brings her to Rebecca? As for the bomb: I'm guessing Rebecca is trying to set Duela up to take the fall, and in the aftermath she (and perhaps dark!Harvey) will rebuild Gotham to her liking. 

8. But this is the finale and we know what's coming: Harvey's disfigurement is imminent. As the summary mentions: Harvey is faced with an impossible decision that could have devastating consequences. Which brings me back to both Harveys and Duela: 

9. How dark!Harvey feels about Duela is unknown. Did he know about her existence? This matters because of context: Duela is bound next to a bomb that will kill her while Rebecca does her evil monologue and dark!Harvey stands at her side. The summary mentions an 'impossible decision' with 'devastating consequences': I'm guessing Rebecca can't shoot Duela because that would prove (in the rubble and remains of the bomb blast) that she was a victim not the perpetrator, but she needs Duela to die in the blast. Perhaps we will see Harvey fight for control over dark!Harvey in order to save his daughter - which would be a beautiful contrast to Duela 'killing' him - and in so doing Rebecca decides he's not worth it and leaves them both to die? Or maybe Harvey shoots Rebecca? (and she can't die because of the Electrum so maybe while he's not looking she gets away). 

10. There's also the question of whether Duela remains with Harvey or leaves to help her friends fight the Talons coming to kill them. Does Rebecca trap them both? In any case, It seems pretty likely that Harvey's disfigurement will be caused by the bomb blast, from him trying to stop or escape the bomb (I think Harvey would try to stop it while also making sure his daughter was safe, while dark!Harvey would get the hell out of there - but I think by this plot point Harvey will definitely be back in control). Perhaps he saves Duela, but with the blast supposedly being so deadly it begs the question: are we looking at the reality of a high civilian death toll, and if so how does Harvey survive? 

11. I'm also very curious to see how Duela reacts to dark!Harvey, and whether he or Harvey gets the chance to talk to her. I think if he does know about her he'll definitely confirm he's her bio dad, but at the very least he'll confirm being involved with her mom, and maybe even clarify that Harvey didn't know about her because he didn't even know about him (this could be telling, separating Harvey from his deeds in yet another protective move, meaning he still cares about Harvey). Seeing might be believing, so she might observe dark!Harvey and side with the whole double-persona thing rather than believe her mom - who just turned her in for a stack of cash. Poor Duela. I really hope she gets a nice bonding moment with Harvey before everything goes to hell, she deserves some positive, sincere parental memories. 

What about season 2?

Sadly, GK was cancelled. But we can still discuss, and create, and spread our enthusiasm and appreciation for this awesome show!

We know the finale will give us Two-Face. So is immortal!Rebecca dead? Because a bomb blast seems like a good way to make sure an immortal person stays dead. Or was she slated to re-emerge in season 2 as Two-Face's first nemisis? That idea has potential, especially given she's now an established villain. Or were the plans for season 2 to make Two-Face the new villain? Perhaps the season would open six months after the blast that devestated Gotham, meanwhile the Bat Brats' names have been cleared and they've taken up the official savior role as the Gotham Knights. And in the shadows Two-Face takes advantage of the city's chaos. 

Throughout season 1 Duela came to truly care about her friends, so despite whatever happens in the finale with Harvey, her newly emerged goodness has me thinking she'd stick with her savior friends moving forward. But I still love the idea of her somehow being involved with or just simply fascinated by Two-Face, especially considering that's her father - proven, not some fairytale about the Joker. Like every Bat Brat, she has some serious parental issues, and part of her character journey is about discovering and defining her own self rather than be shaped by her parents, so it might not make sense for her to stay in contact with Two-Face, but I can see the fic playing out in my mind and I love it. 

I'm not sure how it works with cancelled shows, whether the showrunner and writers and cast can share what-could-have-been, but I think once the finale airs we'll get a good idea what direction they were planning to take the story. 

[cfshadows]

‘ medalion rahimi, cis woman, she/her, 35 / 350 , high fae (shadowsinger) ’ ― cauldron save you. it seems ZAHERA GOLSHAN has finally made it to the capital, the SPY MASTER from the SPRING COURT is said to be CAPTIVATING and is said to describe themselves with WILD HAIR FLOWING IN THE WIND, SHADOWS DANCING AND CRAWLING ALONG THE WALLS, EYES THAT SEEM TO SEE YOUR EVERY THOUGHT, PRETTY GOWNS HIDING UGLY MOTIVES AND A DEEP DESIRE FOR POWER. and with all of this in mind their SCHEMING nature always seems to get them into trouble. may the mother hold them as they navigate this unthinkable time.

tw: parental neglect

BASIC.

FULL NAME:  zahera golshan

AGE: 35 / 350

PLACE OF BIRTH: spring court

SPECIES: high fae / shadow singer

GENDER: cis woman

PRONOUNS: she/her

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual biromantic

TITLE: spy master of the spring court

PERSONALITY.

POSTIVE TRAITS: captivating, adaptive, intelligent, romantic, and rational

NEGATIVE TRAITS: scheming, manipulative, conceited, selfish and venomous

PERSONALITY TYPE: entj - the commander

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: sagittarius

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS: cersei lannister (game of thrones), lady macbeth, izana kurokawa (tokyo revengers)

POWERS.

immortality

shapeshifting; lioness transformation

air manipulation

winnowing

SPECIAL (shadow singer): shadow manipulation, shadow travel, shadow creation

FAMILY.

FATHER: omid golshan †

MOTHER: abru golshan †

SIBLINGS: one older sibling (wanted connection tba)

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: emilios acheson ( betrothed)

HISTORY.

the youngest golshan child zahera was born a quiet child. . another tool for the golshan family to use, a lower ranking high fae family who's patriarch ignored his children unless they could give something. they never cared for their children, only what they could give. and zahera was a child who seemed to always be watching everything around her. curiosity seeming to pour out of every part of her.

that in the end was her source of true power, the desire to know things, the explore and go beyond what should have been possible. even for a high fae. shadows whipping around, darkness calling out to her begging her to reach out and touch it. a shadow singer. a coveted piece every court desired. and the golshan family had one.

it was because of this omid golshan put her in the forefront of the spring courts high lord wave his daughter in the face of the man who could push him to more power. at least it had been the plan. but zahera had her own ideas, her own desires. she wanted the same power, but there was no reason for her to share it. not with the man who treated her as a tool her entire life.

she would find her own power, she wouldn't be a tool for anyone who couldn't give her something in return. biding her time in court she did her best to make friends with those who could help her find a use for her powers, who could help her grow. the high lords children, the inner circle, and other important people in play.

it was the former spy master who was her key to finding her space, a man who should have known who she was, who should have known she was always watching. it was too easy to find dirt on him, dirt she could shift in her own way. getting him out of the way was far too easy, easy enough to know that if left in his hands he could lead her home into ruin.

the death of loukas acheson was the true test for her, a death that shook the spring court, one that only zahera would know the truth of. the new spy master sat with the knowledge that she could help shape the future of the spring court. and her choice lied in emilios acheson, the son of the former high lord and a man she would call at least sort of a friend. the truth whispered in his ear and an ally in the most powerful place.

when he finally took the title of high lord of the spring court, he asked for her hand. a surprise, she'd been fine sitting as spy master, that power was enough for her. she'd never considered anything more. and yet she very readily agreed to the proposal.

HEADCANONS.

it takes a while for her to make friends but the ones that she does make she cherishes them. it takes everything in her to trust someone, so she does pay close attention and care for those very few.

she enjoys talking to people and being around people, if she unnerves them all the better for it. she loves the attention and loves the fact that she can make people nervous.

zahera makes it a point to know people, to know everyone. it's her job and she loves it beyond that. she likes knowing, she wants to know everything and anything she can know.

very good at acting like she's your friend, please know better, she's not really anyone's friend.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

sibling: the eldest golshan sibling who was also a tool for their parents. they were married off to a more powerful family when zahera was revealed to be a shadow singer she was set to inherit everything and their sibling was left to marry someone with more power.(any gender)

informants: she uses people from the other courts as informants and trade for knowledge of her own or blackmails them. they're both open to things, she has a lot of dirt on people.

enemies/people she has dirt on and uses

friends: best friends, fake friends, frenemies anything like that

ANYTHING please i'm here for plots <3

[fang-and-feather]

Written for: Fluffy February Prompt 1: Hello from @fluffyfebruary;

Year of the OTP February Prompt: different from @yearoftheotpevent;

Fluffbruary Day 1 Prompt(s): clue and museum by  @fluffbruary;

and Be my Valentine 2.0 Prompt 1: "I've been hit with Cupid's arrow." by @xxsycamore and @chaosangel767

Ikemen Vampire, Soulmates AU, Stays in MC's Timeline - Comte de Saint-Germain/OC

Are soul mates' meetings really destined when, despite all the clues, it happen by means of coincidences? At least Hikari is not certain if it was fate or chance that led her to meet her soulmate and, even if it was fate, does it guarantee se is ready to face the truth of that love when they are from very different worlds?

This chapter took longer than I expected. I never realized how long conversations are difficult to write. Also realized how little I know about Comte, so sorry if anything sounds odd

AO3 Version / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / Previous Chapter

It was Hikari’s first trip to Paris, and it had been short, but she was impressed at how many things there could look fancy and cozy at the same time.

The place wasn’t too full of people, but not completely empty either. It was great for a private conversation without them being completely alone.

Until they got their orders, they only exchanged pleasantries - mostly le Comte asking about her trip - and Hikari felt that rush of butterflies of a first date with a new guy.

It could have been a normal date, if she wasn’t still a little shocked at the door that disappeared. And that was her first question as soon as they got their food.

“I would love to continue our more casual talk, but can you explain what happened to that door first? They don’t just disappear like that and you knew it would happen.”

“Yes, I did. I am the reason the door was there.” Le Comte said it with such casualty, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Well, for him it might be. “That door was connected to another in the 19th century. It is not the original door, so it disappears once closed.”

“You said it was there because of you, but you can’t have come from another time if you closed the door and can’t open it back.”

Hikari wasn’t saying that she believed him, but she wanted to see where that story would go.

“The me you met first was. Since the last time I have been in this century, I had a mark, telling me the day I would meet my soulmate. The original door is in my mansion, so I used it to come here ahead of time, so I had better chances of meeting you. I was tempted to take you back with me when we first met, not because you were my soulmate, but because I felt a connection between us, but I knew I couldn’t, so I went back to my time.”

“And the you who’s here now?” A part of her didn’t want an answer.

“I am from this time.”

“Are you trying to tell me you lived all this time? Or soulmates are bound across reincarnations, even if the marks disappear when one dies?”

“I lived every moment of it, so I had a lot of time to think whether I wanted to approach you as your soulmate or not. And I wasn’t going to. I just wanted to see you again, but you were about to go through the door my past self left open, and I had to stop you.”

“Wouldn’t he… I mean, you, be happier if I was did, so you wouldn’t have to wait all this time?”

“You could never make it to the other side. And if you did, would you be happy? Chasing me to another time would mean giving up on the life you have here. Your family and friends, your job and many comforts of your current life. I didn’t want to take it from you because of my own selfishness.”

How could she believe such a tale? Hikari wanted to, but the idea of an immortal time traveler sounded too much like Doctor Who - which, again, she only knew about because of her little sisters. Hikari had never realized how they influenced her thought process - that it scared her.

Why was it such a bad thing, though?

“That is very considerate of you. But that’s not all, is it? You said you weren’t going to approach me when you came to the museum today. Why?”

“We are inherently different, and I still don’t know if we can bridge that gap between us. I want to believe we can, but I also have seen how failed attempts leave people broken in their wake. And if you decide you don’t want to try, I won’t blame you. Once we start getting closer, it will be difficult for me to let you go, so I really want to make sure you know what you are getting into if you choose me.”

The problem was that, as implausible as the story sounded, when Hikari looked into his eyes, he seemed genuine enough. And she had gotten good at reading people with a tricky friend like Reina.

Her heart and mind pulled in different directions, and she didn’t know what to follow.

At least she had a break to think and calm down while she got another drink.

“And what am I getting into, exactly?” Hikari asked as soon as she sat back in her chair. She had decided to stop being scared of something she clearly wanted. “What really is you, to be alive all this time?”

“I am a vampire.”

Hikari almost choked on her drink. She had casually thought about it, but now he was saying she had been right.

But after the initial shock, instead of finding herself scared, she could only think how cool it was, and how a man like that had no reason to be interested in her, soulmate or not, yet the moment they were having couldn’t be called not being interested.

So her fairytale was similar to Beauty and the Beast then? She could deal with that.

Maybe she wasn’t the sane one in her family, after all. She just needed a moment with her thoughts to stop letting her mind make her so critical.

“I don’t think that is much of a problem. Not for me. But are you sure you want something from a human like me?”

Surprise flashed in his eyes for a second, then he chuckled and held her hand.

“From the moment I saw you, I couldn’t imagine anyone else.”

“Don’t you think all soulmates feel like that, even before they know? It happened to me too, but I can’t imagine why people are drawn to complete strangers.”

“I don’t think so. I think soulmates are destined to meet, but not always to love each other. The reason people are attracted to each other without knowing them is because what they first see leaves a good impression, even if it is something minimal that others wouldn’t have noticed.”

“I never thought of it this way. Love at first sight has to do with good first impressions, but it doesn’t always work because first impressions can be wrong. Other times, they are just a small piece of a whole, and the full picture isn’t as pleasant.”

“And even knowing that, do you want to know me? We live completely different lives, and, in a long-term relationship, we might have to make compromises. Are you sure you want to try?”

Hikari sighed, but smiled at him, tightening her hold on his hand.

“I do. I know the differences between us are bigger than most couples and that this relationship won’t be easy. Just the fact we live in different countries is already a challenge, and a long distance relationship can only go so far. But I would rather it doesn’t work because we decided, in the future, that these bridges are impossible to cross, then because we were afraid to try.”

“Even if I say I might want to turn you in the future?”

“I don’t know about the future. If we go that far, I might not mind.”

“If you are so determined, then I look forward to getting to know you better.” He pulled her hand closer, and kissed the back of it, without breaking eye contact.

Hikari’s heart sped up and heat rushed to her face.

“Me too.”

She had never been so hopeful after a date before. Even if their future wouldn’t be perfect, Hikari knew she would enjoy every moment of it.

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

[trafalgarya]

Isshiki Ōtsutsuki — Modern AU.

so it's basically headcanons of Isshiki's identity in a Modern AU : that includes his identity, his job, his skills, and all that.

mention of kidnapping, threats, violence, manipulation, narcissism, egocentrism, torture, sociopathy, selfish and arrogant personality, and murder.

i don't think there's manga spoilers, i'll check it when i'll be done.

oh and, btw, i'm tired asf so it might not be good lol.

So. First of all, Isshiki keep his full name, although it's somehow private for the public. He'll probably go by an another name if he's speaking about his job, or job-related discussions.

I think he'll be either Russian or German. He inspires me both vibes so yeah. He'd be more Russian tho.

And as a Russian, this man loves alcohol. Especially Vodka, he literally has an affinity with it. Alcohol is like water for him.

He'd work as a scientist. The reason ? Simple ; He wants to find a cure for cancer, so everyone would acclam his name and think of him as a prodigy. Yes, he loves fame.

But there's also an another reason : Isshiki wants to become immortal. The idea of living as a simple mortal who haven't achieved something huge in his life would be a shame for him.

He doesn't work alone, to my surprise. He'll probably recruit scientists that would obey him, and his favourite of them all is his work buddy, but also his right-hand man : Amado Sanzu. With Amado and his genius intelligence, they'll be successful in no time.

His workers would also exclusively work on what Isshiki wants. He's a leader, yeah, but also an egoist. A true egoist. He wants to be what would come the closest to a God. He wants to be a God among humans. That everyone is at his feet, worshipping him. He wants success, he wants money, he wants drugs, he wants alcohol, he wants a bad and dangerous but amusing life. He only thinks of himself. He's a true narcissist, yeah.

He's also a sociopath. He doesn't care about anyone but him. He wants the world at his feet. He would be ready to sacrifice everyone that's disturbing his path to success. Social codes ? Morals ? People's feelings and boundaries ? He. Doesn't. Give. A. Fuck. The only person he truly wish success to, other than him, is... his future self. Did you really thought he cared about anyone else ? No. I know i repeat myself, but that's just not enough. I would repeat it a million times if needed.

We'll get back to his work. So, he recruited a dozens of scientists which he's the leader. First, Amado. And then follows Code, Eida, Daemon, Delta, and Kashin Koji, and each of them have their own roles :

Amado helps Isshiki in his experiments. He's a genius by nature, and studied science, chemistry and physics all his life. It was like his passion, so he couldn't be happier than working in a science-based job. And he's occupying the post that he always wanted : Being the one making experiments, alone or with someone.

Code is in charge of making plans along with Isshiki and sending the members to the mission. Because of his analytical skills and his planning intelligence, he's crucial to the group. He's a bit considered like the carefree and childish member, but everyone respects him. Except Daemon and Delta. While he's getting on Delta's nerves, Daemon despises him for... We don't know. Mystery.

Eida, being a natural beauty, is charged to seduce people, men or women, in order to extort informations. Her role is to use seduction and her amazing beauty to manipulate everyone into thinking she actually care about them, all that for betraying them at the very end

Delta and Daemon are promised to threats and physical violence, just in order someone would resist seduction or anything else that's on purpose to make the person comfortable enough that she/he/they willingly say everything. They'll even have the honor to take someone in hostage for the person to give them important documents. They're also, rarely though, in charge when it concerns to kidnap someone. Their physical prowess makes them the perfect persons for that. These persons would sometime serve as subjects or sacrifices for Isshiki's experiences. In brief, everything that requires fight or physical strenght is for Delta and Daemon. They're often partner for a mission.

And finally, Kashin Koji. Mysterious, cunning, charismatic and calm as he is, he's perfect for spying or acting as a double agent. His calm attitude and charming voice have the power to put everyone in confidence, so it's relatively easy for him to infiltrate associations or just spying on them. When he's in possession of all the information he need, he'll quickly go back to their QG and summarizing everyone to Isshiki himself. He's also the perfect man when his leader needs proofs, such as writed contracts, recording a conversation or photo evidences.

That said, i think Isshiki also gives private lessons to teenagers or childs. He's particularly asked for Mathematics, Physics, Science and Chemistry, naturally being a genius in these subjects. And because he's a good private teacher, he has the reputation of a well-explainer and kind teacher. Of course, he doesn't give private lessons because he want to, but because that'd increase his influence and makes him free money.

Speaking of influence, he's quite influent in business too. He collaborates with lots of doctors in different countries, giving them clues and hint about cancer's treatment, because it's mostly what doctors search nowadays. For the same motivation as his private lessons, yes.

I like to think he's polyglot. He fluently speaks lots of languages, such as English, Italian, Spanish, French, German, Russian, Japanese, and Chinese.

[hellyeahsupermanandwonderwoman]

Hello, I really like your answers. Did you happen to read Tom King's “Of Tomorrow” comic? Many praised it. I did not like.Did Superman let all the humanity he protected die and only let Lois Lane live with some strange formula of immortality? She together with a hybrid child that I don't know how she could have had since they are not genetically compatible? How “worthy” does Lois have to be above all humanity in any age? Are there better Superman comics than this one that are worth reading?

My opinion on this story is that it reeks of hypocrisy of the writer and therefore the character. Superman, as I see it, would not do that. He is not that selfish or self centered when written with real thought. Superman by his nature has longevity Some stories he is long lived but ages slowly and can die. In others he lives forever or as long as there is a yellow sun to power him etc. But either way he is not human and has a longer lifespan than humans, so no matter what he has to face loss. It is imo one of the most humanizing things for him and all of us. We will all suffer losses and death, no matter who we are and this makes us all equal. For me, it’s important Clark learns how to deal with that because he gets to understand us and grow as a person. Writers can't say Superman is so human but in fact he does not get to experience the things that make us so. And we are not talking about things to make him happy. Life is full of ups and downs and to appreciate the highs you must have lows. So the idea he would do that for Lois alone contradicts the argument that writer and clois fans like to use that he needs her to have humanity. They often like to drone on and on that being with someone like Diana would make him above humans and doom the world.  But they have no problems making Superman and Lois into Gods and the writer wants to assue they just stay exactly the same over the millennia etc. That is some lazy bs. No one stays the same especially if they live to see the world change for centuries etc and loved ones die . If you do then something is wrong with you.

Think about the decision. Superman creates a serum to make humans immortal and he gives it only to Lois and his kid. The reason is he supposedly loves her and does not want to be without her and his kid. Now consider that decision. Immortality. Not by chance or birth but choice for just those two. No one else. Not a friend, not an ally , no brilliant scientist, engineer, artist, writer, architect, doctor etc. Imagine if someone like an Einstein or a Tesla or a Da Vinci or a Hippocrates or a Hawking or Curie got to live for more than their lifespan, what they could accomplish. You might even have cures for diseases like cancer or find clean ways to support the environment, many ways to feed the world etc. But he did not give it to anyone like that, did he? And consider what he created. Using the tech he got from his home planet, he did not use it to better anyone's life by making cures or anything to help other humans. He just created something to make him and Lois happy.

I honestly do not understand how Lois even agreed to swallowing it. She who supposedly is some great protector of truth , happily drinking immortal juice without a thought. How do they even explain it to the world? Because Lois becomes some big member for the Federation or some nonsense like that.  Do we really assume the world will know Superman has the potion for immortality and  not question it? Want to bet if someone else had it and used it , their holer than thou ass would denounce them? It's just the most stupid story trying to pose as great love. I do not see anything great about it. 

Most stories with him and Lois and their happily ever after involve questionable decisions for a character whose whole thing is about morality. Most of them end ironically  with him and Lois as more of the Gods their fans like to denounce. Stories like that , DC One Million, Superman For Tomorrow, etc all play with the idea he can't allow Lois to die and he wants to live in a bubble with her. Heck even in the Reeve movie he turns time for her only regardless of the implications and consequences. 

Alternately if he does not do that then he gives up his powers to be normal to be with her. So again he who has been gifted with abilities to help the universe dumps it to play house for one human. Makes the phrase never ending battle or Man of Tomorrow a joke.

As for good Superman comics, try the new 52 era Action Comics, Justice League, Superman/Wonder Woman series for starters. 

[empirelead]

SHIPPING INFO

Answer the following for your muses so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

Baavira! I know a lot of people do not like this ship because they believe there is no chemistry between them and they don't share scenes where they act like a couple, but I honestly disagree with them. It seems like they've already been together for a long time so they're no longer in the honeymoon stage, and they don't look like the type of couple that would constantly be all over each other.

I know people don't like this ship for another reason, that reason being the fact Kuvira shot the warehouse without hesitation and they all believe that is proof she never cared for him. Again, I disagree with that. Kuvira was in the middle of trying to achieve her goal, that goal being a promise she made to her people, so of course she wasn't going to emotionally breakdown or go back on her promise for her own selfish desire; if she did, the people would lose faith in her. Remember, she gain a big following because she sees things through. And if people actually paid attention, Kuvira did had to hold everything in before she steeled herself to continue on after she made the difficult decision to sacrifice the man she loves.

She was also originally suppose to cry in the scene, but that idea was thrown away since Bryke believed the impact in the Spirit World scene wouldn't be as emotional. AND the comics did confirm Kuvira still has feelings for him.

Oof, this turned into a rant. Haha. I apologize, I am very defensive over this ship.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

I do headcanon Kuvira to be twenty-five years old until stated otherwise, so I don't think she would want to date anyone that isn't even old enough to drink or still has the maturity level of a peanut; I say anyone under the age of twenty is a big no. The oldest she'll go for is someone in their fifties. As for immortal characters, they just have to look like an adult.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NSFW?

When it goes beyond kissing, like touching and clothes starts to come off. Any moments like this would be placed under "read more", discord, or fade-to-black. Though, I don't do much smut content these days because I'm not that interested in writing them, but that doesn't mean I hate it. It could still happen as long as the ship is well established.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

Yes, like, Kuvira isn't exactly an easy person to be ship with due to her past trauma of being abandoned by her biological parents and Suyin as well, she's not going to trust anyone that comes to her way easily and will make her distrust known. There is also the fact that she can be difficult in general, she cannot be please so easily. So if you are trying to win her heart, you're gonna have to do more than giving flowers or showing off fancy tricks.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

Korra! That Spirit World scene is just so divine.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

It all depends if you're brave enough to poke the bear, like I said Kuvira isn't easy to be with so I am picky with who I'm going to ship her with. Though, sometime, it just happens and I have that occurrences where it all work out, but it is better to ask than to assume. You may feel the chemistry, but the same cannot be said for the other person. That doesn't mean I am oppose to the idea of shipping our characters together, there's a high-chance I will give it a shot.

Chemistry isn't always instant, we can always try to build it up just by discussing it together.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

I'm more in the middle. I do like shipping because it's fun to see what kind of dynamic Kuvira will have with other characters, but I'm not going to ship Kuvira with every character that comes to her way.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

I'll respond it with my other muse: Kai'sa, from League of Legends! My favorite ship with her is with Akali! Though, I also do like her with Ahri and Evelynn as well.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

Just ask or read my rules, it also helps if we interact together a lot and talk behind the scene. And I also do wanna add that I do like oc and crossover shipping as well.

Tagged by: @nameaprice (thanks~) Tagging: anyone! if you're reading this...or skimmed through it, considered yourself tagged~

[soap-dispenser-tom]

Volo for the character ask?

oh pulling out the big guns are we now?

First Impression: oh god this guy is really kinda hot um hi please tell me you aren’t just some random merchant unimportant npc. PLEASE (he is isn’t he ;-;)

Impression Now: Favorite Pokémon villian (alongside Lusamine, makes Chairman Rose look worse lol) and one of my favorite characters of all time. I must say that I knew he owned Giratina due to my YouTube feed spoiling this, but the insane man trying to conquer God I did not see coming at ALL. The “best friend who is actually trying to kill you” trope is one of my favorites, and boy does Volo make it shine. He uses Rei/Akari the whole game, is extremely likeable in the process, has enough foreshadowing (can’t emphasize how much I loved near the end of post game Volo where you can see his façade falling apart) to be a twist villain who is actually well written, GOD. Volo is perfection. And unlike *ahem* some certain Pokémon villains, he is selfish, egotistical, idealistic to the brink of insanity— an actual villain. He has solid reasons for his actions and yet it doesn’t excuse him for what he does. I could go on for like an hour straight about this guy, I love him.

Favorite Moment: Well… the twist obviously. My man makes that outfit look hella sexy. But since that’s obvious enough, I really liked a smaller moment near end of post-game where Cogita gives you the fairy (?) plate that she thought was a cutting board and Volo fucking loses it. “YOU HAD A PLATE THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?!?!?” Not only is this hilarious but watching the story again you can see that this isn’t just him being shocked, it’s him coming this close to ending Cogita completely.

Idea For A Story: I have like an entire backstory for him in my head that I forget isn’t canon which hitches off of the time traveler Volo theory. Why he wants to rewrite the universe, how he obtains Giritina + why it listens to him, his downfall and start of his obsession with Arceus, all that good stuff. Now I just need to actually write it. hoo boy

Unpopular Opinion: Now idk if this is a popular opinion or not but I saw someone saying that they hated Volo’s hat and drawing him without it for said reason but. I like Volo’s hat? I like him both ways but I do love his hat. </3

Favorite Relationship: VOLO + TOGEPI LET’S GO WOOOOOO! Really Volo’s relationship with the protag, Akari favored (blame kurapixel).

Favorite Headcanon: These are probably more theories than headcanons, but as I mentioned before, I love the time traveler Volo headcanon, alongside immortal Volo. Also the hiker Volo theory is so so very good, I believe it wholeheartedly.

[ruiniel]

hey:) i know you’re not taking requests right now but i had this thought and i felt like sharing. i know some people like the idea of adrian turning his s/o to live with him till the end, but what about him choosing to die with his s/o? like in a human way. idk i like the idea of him choosing that human side of him.

Uuuh thanks for sharing!

I sort of tackled the idea of him turning his SO out of a selfish fear of losing them in a fic called 'Return' (Greta x Alucard). But there, the human had no real say in the matter, since they were basically dying/unconscious. It was an exploration of Al-turns-someone, mainly.

I think he'd be conflicted to say the least about turning someone (depending on which HC you prefer, that a dhampir is able/unable to do so). Even if his SO chose it for the purpose of being together forever, there are so many questions and moral dilemmas attached to it.

How would a human who chooses to be turned handle eternity? In most literature around, not too well. Does one's mind get accustomed to it, or does one go slowly and steadily insane losing the being they used to be, coming to terms that they are now a predator, or does the mind wiring change completely? Technically (most) vampires were human once, so perhaps it would work out.

I think Alucard being both parts human and vampire would be very sensitive to all of this, but that's my interpretation of his show persona

Especially considering Dracula never did it, though he could have, if Lisa consented? But as Carmilla asked at the council in season II, why was Lisa never turned, for a similar reason? Maybe they spoke of it, maybe she wanted to stay mortal and Drac valued and respected her free will to choose in the matter.

Sorry, went on a tangent there hah! Now about choosing to die with a SO - considering Al's immortal, can he actually die, other than resorting to methods such as ending himself/asking someone to do it (yikes)? Or, maybe since he has the will and ability to submerge himself into an eternal slumber for ages (forever?), that would be the closest to death he could achieve once a mortal SO passes. It's quite the muted tragedy there, but it comes down to choice and context, I think? You're right it *is* a rarely used idea! A lot to explore there 😊

[heartbrake-hotel]

for the first question of the elvis ask game bc i am incapable of Shutting Up;

"When and what was your first exposure to Elvis Presley?"

like literally i could Not in good conscience let this extend my original answer post ohhhh my god 😅😅 but also i quite like the story and want it recorded for selfish purposes so if you are for Some Reason interested...... here she is

my mom really loves elvis (some of you might know this already). she's from alabama, and growing up her dad (who died p young) really liked him (though my gramma still insists "he always did a little too much of that... jigglin' for my taste"). she remembers her father let her stay home from school on august 17th, 1977, because she was so distraught after hearing about elvis the afternoon before. that day after was a wednesday and she was 10 years old. she says it was practically a public day of mourning in the south.

on the other hand my mom is also deeply catholic and experienced a great moral terror surrounding media consumption upon having me, her oldest, bc she was afraid that if my first word had been "margaritaville" she would have had to answer to god for the depravation of my immortal soul :/ and no that's not a joke she literally thought that about jimmy buffet. so we didn't, uh. have music in my house as a kid. my mom had one (1) bruce springsteen cd i wasn't allowed to listen to, and my dad had one (1) johnny cash cassette that i WAS. other than that the only music we had around was the soundtracks in movies and a lot of gregorian chant. and the one copy of the high school musical deluxe edition soundtrack that i got for christmas in 2006 and my sister and i literally wore the ribbon out of bc we were so starved for Tunes dfghs so i actually. had no idea my mom liked elvis she never listened to his music around me or brought him up.

aaaand then in.. 2009 or 2010 (i had to look up the release date of justin bieber's baby to verify this Holy Shit), i went away to sleepaway camp for the first time. it was an art, science, and technology camp at my dad's alma mater (and eventually mine❤) in my parent's hometown, a couple hours away. i stayed with my dad's parents instead of on campus, but it was still A Big Deal growing-up-wise. and my mom sent me a care package while i was there, with a postcard to read for every day of the week i was gone.

they were all pictures of elvis and i had No Idea Why.

i thought maybe she was just being, like. fun and kitschy.?? idk i was a weird kid who had a weird mom, it was easy to rationalize. and she didn't address it at all until the third postcard, when she said she had thought about finding stationary i would like to write these on but instead she decided to give me something precious to her, these elvis postcards she'd had lying around since she was a girl. because of how, you know, she loved elvis so much.

WELL, NO. NO MOM, I DID NOT "KNOW."

up until this point the only defining knowledge i had of elvis could be summarized by the epic rap battle of history vs michael jackson, which contains such lyrical marvels as "here's a tip - don't swallow a bucket of drugs so you won't die on the toilet dropping hunks of burning love," and "well, i may have died on the shitter but i don't give a crap, you ain't got half the badass battle raps that i have." yes i Did type those out from memory. i'm sure i'd heard elvis' music before (i had seen lilo and stitch at least once, after all) but if you had asked me to name even one of his songs at that time i don't think i could've done it. i simply hadn't conceptualized him beyond the vague image of a white jumpsuit and the words "thank ya, thank ya very much." but my mother expressing ANY sort of interest in a celebrity or pop culture at large was Absolutely Shocking, and i was determined to take advantage of this moment by seeing what the hype was all about.

so i went downstairs to my grandparent's basement pc and typed "elvis" into the google search bar. that was it. just "elvis." not "elvis presley," not "elvis songs," not "who the hell was elvis and does an interest in him make my mother lame or cool?" just "elvis." :)

and the first video that came up was the rapid city unchained melody performance. i watched the video, and i almost immediately had this absolutely overwhelming outpouring of love for this man on the screen. he slurred out "unchained melody. from an album called unchained melody. makes a lot of sense. ok" and i remember thinking that that "ok" had sounded so SMALL. he sounded like a lost little boy. and then that maternal instinct immediately fled my 12-year-old body and i scoffed like a tweenybopping little bitch and thought from how tiny he sounded he couldn't possibly have had a voice worth listening to.

and then he opened his mouth and heaven started pouring out.

i had never heard the song before (though i was immediately struck by its.. well, melody). i didn't know he was struggling with a drug habit, and i didn't know it had been filmed shortly before his death and would eventually come to be seen as the crowning final jewel in the midst of years of muddy decline. all i knew was that this man looked like he should've been in a hospital instead of on a stage, pouring sweat, minutes away from toppling backwards off the piano bench, and despite all of that... he was making the most devastatingly beautiful music i had ever heard. his voice was so strong, so clear, and i was once again baffled that a voice like that could be coming out of his visibly ailing body. i thought about how beautiful it was that he was giving so much of himself to perform this song when he looked like he didn't even have it in him to make it another couple of days. and i thought he was the most beautiful man i had ever seen in my life for doing it. it was like i had the word "beautiful" running on loop in my head. the only thought i had was "beautiful, beautiful, beautiful," over and over again until the song finished.

i didn't even realize i was crying until my gramma (who was just about deaf and had been two floors above me and on the other side of the house) came down to check on me. i remember her coming to stand at the foot of the basement steps and looking at me really carefully, asking if i was ok. and i had never heard her sound worried before ever so i took my headphones off and opened my mouth to ask her what she meant, and i realized i couldn't talk because i was so violently sobbing. apparently i had been shaking, hugging myself, and rocking back and forth for the duration of the video and was so insularly focused on elvis i hadn't even known it. dramatic ass bitch

eventually i calmed down enough to tell my gramma i didn't know who elvis was but i was having a breakdown about him anyway, and it felt really weird because a man i wasn't even invested in had just changed my life maybe bc that's about how big what i was feeling was. she just said "ok. do you want to feel that more or less?" so she sat there with me and i watched the video three or four more times and thought he was just angelic. not in the cheesy "did it hurt when you fell from heaven" way but like there was literally something of the divine about him. and i sat there at the computer desk and cried myself out and eventually about forty minutes later said "ok now i would like to feel less" so she told me on the news that morning had been a performance by a boy about my age and did i know who justin bieber was. this was probably a leading question because it was statistically likely i was wearing a my world 2.0 t-shirt at this time, but it gave me an opportunity to show a 70-year-old the baby music video and also to explain what a youtuber was and my emotional range normalized again.

and then that depth of emotion was so uncomfortably strong and i was so unequipped to deal with it as a kid that i shoved it down and learned hound dog and blue suede shoes and can't help falling in love and then totally disavowed myself of Anything elvis for a decade. or at least that's what i thought i was doing but also i loved dion and the belmonts on one end of the relevant temporal spectrum and frankie valli and the four seasons on the other and my favorite movie was bye bye birdie (the 1995 tv one with jason alexander tho not the '63 version sorry ammo) and i spent a Lot of time reading about buddy holly's life story so uh. MAYHAPS I WAS ALWAYS PRIMED FOR THIS.

and then baz luhrmann bashed me on the head with a sledgehammer and it hit my reset button and now here i am✨

[thisisasupergoodidea]

Whumptober Day 29:

What doesn’t kill me…/Defiance

—

“Emilio,” his mother intones authoritatively, leaning on the slab between them with both hands- the slab upon which Rogelio lays, unconscious. “You are interrupting a very delicate spell.”

The expression on Emil’s face would cow any lesser man. But if she feels even an ounce of his scathing countenance weighing on her, she betrays nothing. Her neutrality only enrages him more.

“I’m not letting you go through with it. Step away from him.”

Her bland regard barely changes even with the addition of bemusement.

“What’s this about all of a sudden? I’ve told you before, the process should be reasonably safe-“

“You don’t give a shit about his safety! I know you don’t! Because now I know that your plan from the start was to rip the magic out of him and take it for yourself.”

“Where in the world did you get that idea? I feel I have been as forthright as I possibly can be about the risks involved. And Rogelio still consented.”

“Yeah? Did his consent come before or after telling him that the process will almost certainly obliterate his physical form?”

His mother pauses for a moment here; the silence, brief yet stark, speaks for itself. They really never planned to divulge that particular detail to Emil at all.

“…As I said: he knew every risk. So there is nothing to fret over, my dear. He wanted this. Do not forget that he and I have toiled and given so much of ourselves for your sake.”

“Bullshit. Neither of you deigned to ask me if I wanted this! Rogelio, I can forgive. He’s just being a self-sacrificing dumbass again. But you are an entirely different type of person. You care for no one but yourself. Your only concern is your own immortal prestige. I don’t trust you with his life- or mine.”

Her composure finally breaks. It is neither heartbreak nor shame that peers through the cracks in her mask, but icy umbrage.

“How dare you! I gave you life- not once, but twice- and you have the nerve to call me selfish!”

“Why did you leave me behind?” Emil pivots abruptly, letting all the bitterness of his miserable two and a half decades in Kaluss coat his words like poison. “You knew where I was this entire damn time. Why, then, did it take you 23 years just to contact me? What kept you so busy that you couldn’t bother to send me some- some fucking words of comfort? To let me know that I wasn’t forgotten?? Clearly you weren’t using that time to find solutions to the mess you made, if killing my friend is the best you’ve got!”

“I- You would’ve died if-“

“Well maybe I should’ve! But you couldn’t allow such a ripe opportunity to go to waste, could you? So you used me as an excuse to experiment, to play around with some shiny new forbidden magic. Just like you’re using me to excuse your actions now.”

“Quiet.”

With a flick of her fingers, she casts a spell that renders Emil mute. He paws uselessly at his throat in wide-eyed alarm as she takes her turn to speak.

“I’ve heard quite enough out of you, my insolent child. Your concerns have been- noted. And it seems my concerns must now shift.” Her head tilts haughtily. “It saddens me to hear that you can’t appreciate my gift to you. Perhaps I should remind you of the alternative.”

Her hand shoots out as if she’s reaching out to receive something, and an oppressive wave emanates from her to push her ‘gift’ out of him. In an instant, the comfort and assurance of magic that Emil has relied on all his life is blown away, the sensation like having his chest crushed inward by a devastating force, squeezing the breath from his lungs. The tether between himself and his magic goes taut, and he stumbles backwards.

Just as suddenly, the tension snaps.

All the magic that left him comes rushing back in with just as much force. Emil doubles over and groans, reeling from the intense whiplash. He doesn’t see his mother’s carefully maintained passivity give way to shock, nor does he hear what she mutters to herself:

“How did you…?”

Incensed, she tries again with a spell of a stronger competence. When this one hits him, it doesn’t merely push- it consumes him utterly, leaving behind a vacuous space where the magic once was that the rest of him cannot fill. It has never held this shape on its own. His body feels so numb and empty that he hardly notices himself falling until he is on his knees, and he is struck with a flash of white-hot pain.

“Look at yourself,” she sneers. “You’re a frail thing, clinging to existence by the tips of your fingers. You need me.”

Another forceful pulse explodes outward, right in front of her. But not from her. From Rogelio.

It sends her flying into the bookshelves behind her. But it diverts itself just before it touches Emil, instead whipping all around him like a storm, scattering papers and knocking various things to the ground. A torrential bastion. It grazes across his skin almost hesitantly, if one could personify a force of nature in that way. But, then again, it has never been just the magic reaching out to him. It’s filtered through, and equally, Rogelio himself. Emil senses apology in the wind. It’s- he’s- waiting for permission this time.

He closes his eyes, breathes in deeply, and pulls the magic into himself. It embraces him eagerly. It relaxes against his bones, whispers warmly in his ears, fills him with rapturous joy that is both his own and not his own. A rare smile overtakes his face.

“What the fuck are you??” Emil hears his mother shriek, her composure lost. It’s unclear which of them she’s referring to- though the distinction hardly matters to him anymore.

He spares her a contemptuous glance.

“My life stopped being yours a long time ago, mother.”

—