#but the pole course was super fun! and i got to challenge myself in a new environment that was very open and friendly

[pinkblondie]

I heard some of you freaks like bruises🩹

⁽ᶠᵃⁱʳ ʷᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍ: ʷʰᵉⁿ ᵖᵒˡᵉ ᵈᵃⁿᶜⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵒˡᵉ ʷⁱˡˡ ᶠⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵇᵉᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵘᵖ⁾

Paypal ♡ Wishtender ♡

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 5 - Episode INTERmission (DLC)

I finally got a PS5! Well, I was trying to stop myself but I ended up caving in because apparently my love for Final Fantasy trumps all and I have to play Crisis Core and Part 2 of the Remake asap lol. Anyway, time to play the Yuffie DLC first! It's easy to make a story for Yuffie since her goal has always been to find good materia to protect and fortify Wutai or whatever so she'll go anywhere and everywhere stealing it haha. Her appearance is definitely super childish with the moogle hoodie lol. Kinda cute how you get to see Jessie, Biggs and Wedge in the background. Anyway, I completely forgot how the battle system works so I'm kindaaa mashing buttons and I kindaaa died LOL. Am I too old for this?🥲 As for Fort Condor...very amusing. Honestly, it's not my thing, I vastly prefer the original mainly because I liked the limited units you had to choose from and I enjoyed getting to control stuff like my medic healing soldiers etc, whereas I feel like for this one, I'm just spamming units out until I win lol. As for the Happy Turtle flyers which I assume are like the original Turtle Paradise flyers, it was very weird to have a dancing turtle guy tell me to find these posters lolll. I kinda liked the subtleness of the original because it felt like a fun little game on the side with no pressure. Anyway, the turtle flyers were easier to find than expected, I didn't even try🥲 As for the Fort Condor game, personally, I didn't find it very fun, it wasn't very challenging either tbh but I guess it’s not hard mode haha. But I guess that is kinda how it was in the original lol. Even though I remember the game, it's not like I really liked it that much haha. To be fair though, I didn't like most of the mini games in FFVII aside from Chocobo racing. I never thought I could hate motorcycle racing more but the Remake was able to do it, so I won't be surprised if snowboarding and the submarine game will be the thing of nightmares🥲

Sonon looks pretty cute! Dangg, killing Ramuh was annoying, had to try a couple of times zzz. Carbuncle definitely helped with the clinch heal, and as usual, limit breaks deal good damage🥲 Personally, I'm not that fond of Yuffie, and she has very exaggerated movements which annoy me for some reason when she's talking hahaha, I'm sorry, I know she's just a kid but still. It's nice to see little fanservice moments such as what Tifa felt when Cloud was gone, but they're pretty minor so yeah. I have no idea how Yuffie can slide up a pole and do it that fast other than some kind of game logic but okay lol, it does look cool I'll admit. I was so happy when Yuffie took off her silly moogle hoodie😅 Anyway, Sonon protecting Yuffie from getting squashed on the train was cute, and I liked how they kept how she gets motion sickness haha, how nostalgic. Poor Sonon lost his sister because of Shinra's weapons that were made by Scarlet. Is it proof that I'm old when I think Reeve is hot? LOL Anyway, I was sick of the breaking boxes game so I gave up after a few tries lol😅 Honestly, I'm sad that we're stuck in the Shinra building again because it's such a boring place loll. Aside from that, apparently Nero and Weiss are from Dirge of Cerberus? They look pretty cool but otherwise, nothing else is appealing about them. Funnily, their boss battle is easier than when I fought Ramuh lol, and I never even ended up using Ramuh for anything! Personally, I am quite fond of Yuffie's skillset though, I love not needing to walk alot, it's so nice to throw her weapon and then kinda "teleport" to the enemy haha, kinda reminds me of the warping in FFXV?

Sonon dying was expected, but I kinda didn't want it to happen because it was sooo obvious lol. I think it would have been perfectly fine to have him alive because there's so many reasons for Yuffie to be alone. She's such a free spirit and does things at her own pace, of course she would run around by herself lol, but I guess it is what it is. I mean, it's not like I'm particularly fond of Sonon anyway, but that's also because I'm not that fond of Yuffie either lol, but I think they were cute, and it would have been sweet for Yuffie to have a boyfriend in Wutai haha! I mean, the fact that Yuffie was an optional character in the original FFVII gave the writers a lot of freedom to write her story, especially since her main goal is to look for materia, so she can literally do whatever she wants without affecting the story. Anyway, I didn't cry. Seeing Zack was interesting, since it seems to be some sort of alternate timeline, they're definitely intent on pushing the Aerith and Zack pairing, which is expected considering all the marketing and everything but yeah... Personally, the thing I'm most excited to see in Part 2 is Kalm! I honestly don't care about anything else, I just want to see my favourite town LOL. I love the track Ahead On Our Way and it just makes me feel so nostalgic and calm whenever I think of the music and Kalm. I would also really like to play the flashback again because playing as Sephiroth is always cool but we'll see.

Overall, INTERmission was pretty much what I expected. Was it worth $30? Personally, it wasn't worth it for me because it added no substance to the story or the characters for me but I guess that’s how DLCs are. Sure, it was nice to see Fort Condor and the turtle posters, but if you ask if I enjoyed them? Not really. It's nice to see another Avalanche group, but since Yuffie and Sonon don't really do much with them, it was basically lost potential. Personally, I think the biggest mistake for the DLC was to make it set in Midgar again, and not only Midgar but it's literally the same places. Like yeah, it's kinda cute to think how Yuffie was in the same place as Cloud and them, but at the same time, I'm sick of this place lol. Especially Shinra Building, such a boring place. Anyway, considering Yuffie is a ninja and she was in the open world when you found her in the original, I would have preferred to see more of an "adventure" than this DLC that tries to bait you with some Dirge of Cerberus fanservice at the end alongside a pretty basic plot in which nothing happened. I'm actually pretty disappointed because Yuffie from this DLC feels like a legit kid and sometimes I can't stand her haha! I can't tell if it's because I'm old now or if she's just too childish for me now, or if the characters just translated better as blocks lolll. The best thing about this DLC was Yuffie's skillset, I love playing with her skills!

Otherwise, if you're curious about whether you "need" to play this DLC or not, you definitely don't. I'd say Crisis Core Reunion which will be coming out in December would probably be more crucial considering how much the Remake wants to sell Zack and his story. The fact that they're remaking/remastering Crisis Core right before Part 2 comes out goes to show that they intend on Crisis Core being important enough to know about for the future. Whether that's a good thing or not, I don't really know because I've never cared for Zack either. Considering my grievances, you might think why does she even bother with the Remake lol, but despite my whining, I can't not play something that is FFVII related, I mean I still need to see my favourite Reno and Rufus again lolll, all I want to do is march as a soldierrrr!😍

[five-rivers]

I was talking to my little brother earlier about ATLA and LOK, and we got to talking about what we would do if we were doing an ATLA sequel.  (I never watched LOK, first episode triggered my sympathetic embarrassment too hard, my brother watched some of LOK, but was disappointed.)

Highlights follow.  

(Retired) Fire Lord Zuko hears about the new Avatar, Korra, going on an adventure, and he’s like, you know what, I’m gonna go live my best life and have fun.  It’s my turn to be the cool responsible adult.

Problem: Zuko wouldn’t know cool if it punched him in the face.  He follows Korra around with tea, mangling every proverb he comes into contact with.  Still manages to give surprisingly good advice.

Korra and friends try to ditch incredibly uncool old man repeatedly.  He refuses to stay ditched.

Korra: How did you find us?

Zuko: I have lots of experience.  

Or

Korra: How did you get here before us?  We flew over a mountain range to get away from you.

Zuko: *Staring at map and sipping tea*  Hm.  By all accounts it doesn’t make sense.

Zuko: *Later, walking out to his dragon friend*  Why and how do people always forget I’m friends with a dragon?

Or

Korra: We literally threw darts at a map to decide where to go.  How are you here?

Zuko: Well, I just thought to myself, ‘What would Aang do?’ and then I bought some darts.

At one point Zuko follows them around with a Blue Spirit mask on for an entire episode, after they yell at him and hurt his feelings.  Everyone knows it’s him.  He refuses to acknowledge this fact.

Korra: *fails at something*

Zuko: Hey, it’s okay to fail.  Remember, the important thing is that you get back up.  Never give up without a fight!  That reminds me, did I ever tell you about the time I chased Aang all over the world for three months?

Korra: *deep inhale, heavy sigh* Yes.

Occasionally Mai is with him.  She is just as dark as she was before.  Zuko somehow gets even more bright and cheery when she’s around.

Toph (who does not become a cop) decides to build a giant underground city.  She fills it with badgermoles, her 1,000 adopted runaway children, and declares herself King (not Queen, this is very important, she is a king) of Melon City.  On occasion, she also uses the title Melon Lord.  

She has a standing challenge: Anyone who can defeat her in an earthbending fight gets a ruby the size of her head.  No one knows if this ruby exists.  It hasn’t been an issue yet.  

The Fire Nation recognizes Melon City as an independent kingdom.  So did Earth King Kuei.  But it doesn’t matter what anyone else really thinks of the matter, because Melon City is entirely full of highly trained earthbenders and metalbenders, and Toph could pwn an entire army on her home turf all on her lonesome.  

Zuko and Toph regularly meet up to plan shenanigans.  

Sokka and Suki live on Kyoshi Island (now that they’re super old, they prefer warmer weather).  Their relationship was a bit difficult for a while, since they were both sort of leaders of their people, and that required them to be in different places a lot of the time.  Katara stays at the south pole, mostly.

Seriously, why did they kill so many of the original Gaang off (plus make Toph go live in a swamp)?  I know Aang had to die, but really.  Could they not come up with a plot that the original Gaang (minus Aang) couldn’t solve, even though they’re all 70+ years old?  Could they not think of any better way to remove them from play?

Look, it’s easy.  My little brother and I came up with one.  

I mean, you just take a major unaddressed problem from ATLA.  That is, the fact that there are no more airbenders.  

(Like, I understand this got addressed in LOK, but bear with us here.)

Aang really is the last airbender.  None of his and Katara’s kids turn out to be airbenders.  They’re all either nonbenders or waterbenders.  

This is a problem.  This means the world is out of balance.  Avatars are supposed to bring the world back into balance.  

Aang, of course, tried to fix this.  Turns out, in order for there to be new airbenders, they need the blessing of the air spirit (the equivalent of the moon and ocean spirits for the Water Tribes).  After a lot of research, at age 66 or whenever it was he was supposed to die, he goes into the spirit world and never comes back.  Eventually his body wastes away.  

This is something only the Avatar can fix.  The Gaang can’t.

So, Korra has to talk to the other great spirits (and do other research) in an effort to find the air spirit.  

Unfortunately, they run into the following problems.

Fire Nation:  Sure, you can have everything, we’re happy to help!  Sadly, Sozin, Azulon, and Ozai tried to destroy all the history that didn’t make them look good.  Also, our last Avatar temple was volcanoed.  

Earth Kingdom:  The Dai Li (who were dismantled with prejudice following the whole treason thing) are the protectors of our cultural heritage.

(Northern) Water Tribe:  You thought we would be the easy ones?  You fools.  We were an isolationist patriarchal nightmare before all the special snowflakes left for the south!  Plus, the last time we let an Avatar see our spirit fish, the moon got murdered.  So...

Also:  You want stuff about spirits?  Do you want the real stuff or the fake stuff?  Just kidding, we can’t tell the difference!  

Surprisingly, (Retired) Fire Lord Zuko knows the most about spirits.  

(Really, this shouldn’t surprise anyone.  He spent three years on a boat chasing after Avatar legends and visited and researched all the Air Temples.)

Thus, you have an overarching plot of Korra reconnecting with the spirits and eventually bringing back the blessing of air, so new airbenders can be created and/or born.  

IDK, this is just what me and my brother were talking about.  

[theadventurek9]

You know, there are times I’ve wanted to talk about errors. Yet I feel like I don’t know the right answer and so I don’t feel like I have a lot to say. I don’t train completely errorless on the account that I’m not the best trainer. I never intend to have errors but they happen. I’ve never really understood a good way to handle errors and so I often did the wrong things. Which sometimes included a hard “No” until I realized that create more timid and shut down emotions than what I was looking for. Even happy sounding NRMs cause for negative emotions with Aayla. After listening to some podcasts on errors, NRM, force-lite and coercion after binging Hannah Branigan’s Drinking from the Toilet. I decided to start something new. When an error accures, try to reward an alternate behavior (hand touch for example) then reset in a way that goes back a few steps and work my way back up to that level. Or restart from the beginning. I’m still experimenting. Thought I would show an experiment that happened yesterday after getting an error.

I’ve been working a lot on weave entries recently. I have the weaves set up as channel so she doesn’t have to physically weave but still has to find the correct entry. She has been doing amazing on the flat. Well I decided to add a jump, and we can consider it a huge lump with how I set it up. I was adding distance and a new obstacle within one rep (Of course I understand this now...A day later) when I had sent her out from the right side of the poles (camera’s POV it is left) she was perfect, she really tends to excel wrapping around the last pole to enter the weaves.

Yet when I sent from the left of the poles (camera’s POV is right) she got confused, and wrapped around the last pole (Incorrect entry, should have wrapped around the second pole from the sharp angle we are working on). You can tell she instantly knows (whether from my body language or not seeing the appropriate chain behavior after wrapping the pole we can never know) it was incorrect and does not want to reset. Not showing enthusiasm to reset, I should have stopped, given her a break and started from the beginning with very little distance.

So I reward her coming to me and again for her sit in position. I lead out farther to try and help her get the correct entry instead of hanging back. She gets this entry and brings the toy straight back to me.

I set up the same challenge as the first rep. Once again we get an error. She is now even more reluctant to return to me. Avoidance behaviors, arching a circle on her approach, head down, ears back. Once again, this is when I should have stopped. Yet some part of my brain in the session says, ‘she needs to get a win’. Which now, thinking about it, I know was incorrect. So I send her from where I know 100% she will get the entry and reward.

Yet I really understood her emotional state when she did not return to me with the lotus ball. This is when it hit me, so I encourage her to still bring it to me, let her get the treats and give her an end of session cue.

Next clip is she was giving me signs that I took as she was ready to train again (10 minutes later) so I started the camera, walked out and Aayla did not follow. So I respected her wishes and turned the camera back off and we took another 10 minute break.

Then you can see her follow me out and I do what I should have done in the first place. I started from where I was 100% she could succeed and again worked my way back. Soon as we got to the jump and got our correct entry, I jackpotted and gave her end of session cue. If I really wanted to be careful, I would only have done a few reps where I know she would succeed and would have left the jump for another day.

Errors are so hard to figure out how to handle. Aayla is not super error tolerant when it comes to agility. When I started Aayla on my own in agility, I used A LOT of NRM, and a I also drilled her past when she thought was fun. I wanted her to do it right and I lost sight of her enjoying the game. I still pay for a lot of those mistakes. I have to work extra hard to make sure she is happy and willing in our agility training sessions.

I’m working really hard on our start button and respecting when she says no. I’m also trying to get better at slicing behaviors down and getting less errors overall. I also am trying my best to do less reps and shorter training sessions as well. A lot of that goes against what I want to do, I like getting things right and seeing a lot of progress in each training session. So I often have to remind myself and check myself to see whats best for her. I’m not a perfect trainer, and I’m always willing to talk about it. By talking about it, I can find my errors and learn and grow.

[rahirah]

via Barb's Place So before setting out on our Grand Canyon adventure, I of course checked the weather. Supposedly it was going to be highs in the 50s and lows in the 30s. Cold and rainy, with a small chance of snow on Friday, but we'd be back home by Friday, right? Right? (Wrong!) As You Know, Bob, the Grand Canyon Railway runs twice a day: one train leaves Williams at seven-thirty in the morning and returns at two-thirty in the afternoon, and the second one leaves at eight-thirty and returns at three-thirty. We were on the later train. Since the train trip takes about two hours, that meant that we'd be leaving Williams around six in the evening, and it would take about three hours or more to get back to Phoenix. After we told Kathy's mom about that, she decided that it would be better if we spent Thursday night in Williams instead, and drove back to Phoenix on Friday. That was fine with us. Unfortunately, the GC Railway Hotel, where we were to stay Monday night, was totally booked on Thursday. During the holidays, the railway does two Polar Express (TM) runs to the "North Pole" every evening, in addition to the two runs up to the Canyon and back in the daytime. So the hotel was completely packed with families running around in matching pajama sets, with kids chanting "I believe! I believe!" No worries, though – there are lots of hotels in Williams! Except Kathy's mom, for mysterious reasons, rejected all of them, because they did not explicitly advertise a free breakfast bar. Why she needed that when all she ever wants for breakfast is oatmeal and coffee, I do not know. We ended up making a reservation at a Days Inn in Bellemont, which is a flyspeck about twenty miles north of Flagstaff. MORE OF THIS ANON. When we got to Williams on Monday afternoon, it was reallyfuckingcold. No problem, right? We'd expected this! We'd brought coats and sweaters and boots. What we hadn't expected was Kathy's mom practically collapsing in the visitor's center. Turns out that she (elderly, ex-smoker, lived in sea-level Florida for the last thirty years) reacts REALLY BADLY to high altitudes. The slightest exertion sent her into palpitations. This more or less scotched our plans of walking around Williams and window shopping, so we got her to the hotel, and... it started snowing. Not raining, snowing. WELL THEN. About this time I started getting emails from places where I'd sent resumes, wanting to set up interviews. On the one hand, yay interviews! On the other, I really hadn't expected to get any responses this week. I had to reply and ask if we could please do it after I got back to Phoenix, and hope that didn't put them off doing it altogether, and then fret about them periodically. Everyone assured us that in a day or two, the MIL would acclimatize. In a day or two we'd be heading home, but whatever. In the meantime, we managed to borrow a wheelchair from the hotel to get her to the restaurant across the parking lot for dinner, because she literally couldn't walk ten feet without gasping for breath. MIL was deeply unhappy about this, as she is very active for a woman in her eighties. Maneuvering a wheelchair with an unwilling passenger across an unfamiliar ice-slick parking lot in a snowstorm is a fun adventure, lemme tell ya. The next morning it was still snowing. We got the MIL down to the train depot, and made the cardinal error of going to watch the Wild West gunfighter show. Wild West Hijinks (TM) which would be mildly amusing when the temperature is in the 70s are merely irritating when the temperature is in the 30s. I felt sorry for the performers, who not only had to stand in the slush, but roll around in it whenever they got shot. After standing in the sleet and slush for fifteen minutes (no one wanted to sit on the snow-covered metal bleachers) we (along with about half of the rest of the meager audience) left early to make sure we got on the train. Once we got MIL on the train, the ride was mostly fine. The scenery was beautiful. There were free snacks. The minute we got to the Canyon, we were bundled off the train and onto a tour bus. Unfortunately there wasn't much to see; the Canyon was entirely invisible, just a vast white snow-cloud void, and half the stops on the tour were canceled due to the snow. When we got back to our hotel, we ran into more mobility issues. We were staying in Maswik Lodge, the budget, i.e. one-step-up-from-the-campground lodge, which is a whole bunch of separate cabins. They had a wheelchair available, and the nice desk clerk asked if we'd like to change our cabin for a more accessible one. We said "Sure!" What the nice desk clerk failed to mention was that the more accessible cabin hadn't been cleaned yet, and it would take a full two and a half hours of us shivering in the freezing cold (I am not exaggerating – every time the lobby door opened, and it opened a lot, more snow blew in) lobby to get it cleaned. If we'd known that it would take that long, we would have said to hell with it and gone with the less accessible one. Finally we got to our cabin, turned on the heat, and thawed out a bit before having dinner at the Maswik food court. The following morning, we encountered the next challenge: getting the MIL anywhere outside the vicinity of the lodge was a nightmare. Since the wheelchair belonged to the Maswik, we couldn't take it with us if we wanted to visit any of the other lodges or points of interest. So that morning, Kathy and I went out by ourselves to look around and do some exploring. It was still snowing, the forest was a magical winter wonderland which I was too cold to properly appreciate, and I slipped and fell on the ice twice. It occurred to me later that I dodged a bullet, because in my current jobless state, I have no insurance, and had I really injured myself, I would have been really screwed. Luckily the only thing really hurt was my pride. We did get to see a few sights: El Tovar, Hopi House, the art gallery, etc. A lot of the tours and whatnot had been canceled due to the weather, but we still saw a few intrepid hikers. We wanted to eat at the steakhouse at Bright Angel Lodge on Christmas Eve, so we ended up walking the MIL out to the stop for the free shuttle in very careful installments. Unfortunately, we took the shuttle driver at his word when he told us we needed to transfer from the eastbound to the westbound shuttle to get where we were going. (It turned out that we could have just stayed on and gone all the way around.) This meant walking the MIL over a couple hundred yards of icy/snowy mud to yet another shuttle stop, and then, finally, getting her up the dozen or so stairs to the steakhouse parking lot. I was absolutely terrified that she'd fall and break a hip. Still, things were going pretty well until it came time to go back to our cabin. By now it was completely dark, the wind was blowing, the snow was pelting down, and it was well below freezing. We stood at the shuttle stop...and stood, and stood, and stood, with the wind cutting right through our coats and snow building up around us. It probably wasn't more than twenty minutes before the shuttle showed up, but it felt like hours, mainly because the MIL (who has zero patience even under optimal conditions) kept proclaiming that it was never going to come and she was going to die of the cold. Under the circumstances, we were not sure she wasn't right. Finally, the shuttle showed up, and we got her back to the cabin. At that point, Kathy and I realized that we had a further problem. We had reservations at El Tovar, the super-fancy lodge, for Christmas dinner. Since we were not staying at El Tovar, we hadn't been able to make the reservations until 30 days out (as opposed to the actual El Tovar guests, who were allowed to make reservations 90 days out.) This meant that by the time we could make ours, the only one available was at 8:45. The free shuttle only ran until 9:00. You see the dilemma. Not to mention that the steps up to El Tovar from the shuttle stop were like five times as high as the ones to Bright Angel, and the MIL had barely made it up those. Plus we really, really didn't want to go through another Freezing At The Shuttle Stop experience if we could help it. Luckily, at this point we had a "D'oh!" moment and noticed the taxi service in the brochure. They picked you up right at the door of your cabin, and took you right to the doors of the other lodges! Woohoo! We were saved! So through the Christmas miracle of Grand Canyon Taxi, we got the MIL over to El Tovar for dinner, and over to Hopi House to do some shopping the next morning before we left. And for a post-Christmas miracle, it stopped snowing on the 26th, so we were finally able to see the Canyon! Double woohoo! Thursday afternoon we took the train back to Williams, and Kathy and I parked the MIL in the depot gift shop while we went through the Exciting Adventure Mark II of finding our luggage (which was not where it was supposed to be) and digging the car out from beneath about six inches of snow. It had, of course, started snowing again on the train trip back, and the roads were all black ice. Now, I am a Phoenix native, and I don't have a lot of experience driving in snow. However, as you may recall, the MIL had rejected all the hotels in Williams proper. I cursed them faintly as I drove past, with their goddamn welcoming VACANCY signs. We ended up crawling twenty-odd miles down the iced-over I-40 at 35 mph, in the dark, in the snow, along with a bunch of other people (some mad speed demons doing 50 mph) who were no happier about it than I was. By the time we got to the Chosen Hotel, my shoulders had seized up completely, I'd been gripping the steering wheel so hard. "There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" the MIL chirped as we pulled into the hotel parking lot. I did not murder her then and there, which I think speaks to my growth as a person. I may have mentioned before that my MIL, though a lovely and generous woman in many respects, is... well, look under "entitled white lady" in the dictionary and her picture will be there, and there will be a note from her under the picture complaining that the photographer got her bad side and demanding to speak to the manager. And this hotel we pull into is not a rat-infested pit or anything, but it's not the sort of place she usually goes for. It is reasonably clean, and it has free wi-fi, and that is about all you can say for it, amenities-wise. There's not even any carpet in the rooms; it's all linoleum. It is exactly the sort of hotel you'd expect to find when you say "God, I can't drive another mile, this will have to do." Kathy and I are completely underwhelmed. We have seen the MIL rip into far, FAR nicer establishments than this for failing to meet her exa The MIL LOVES it. We throw up our hands and contemplate the mysteries of the universe. There is no restaurant, only a McDonalds across the street, so we warm up the leftovers from our El Tovar dinner in the microwave. Thank God for microwaves. The next morning, we get up. The free breakfast bar, which is the entire reason the MIL insisted on this hotel, turns out to be a dozen packets of instant oatmeal; a Froot Loop dispenser; a sad rack of Wonder Bread for toasting; a warming pan which apparently once held sausages, but is now quite empty; five mini-muffins; one raisin bagel; and a waffle machine with which one can, if one can fight one's way through the throng of desperate breakfast-hunters besieging it, make waffles. The MIL (you guessed it) loved it. I grabbed the raisin bagel. There was no butter, no cream cheese, only packets of grape jelly. Grape jelly, if you are wondering, doesn't go all that well with raisin bagels. You'd think it would, but you'd be wrong. I did manage to nab a couple of sausages when they were finally replenished. They turned out to be incredibly salty, ice cold, and somewhat suspiciously soy-product-flavored. I took them and a slice of Wonder Bread back to the room to microwave them, and made a sort of sad, weird sausage sandwich. Kathy and I then went out to scrape snow off the car – for the moment, it had stopped snowing, but a couple more inches had fallen after we parked for the night. During this process, the head of the driver's side windshield wiper snapped right off. I guess the unaccustomed cold weakened the plastic. Since it was supposed to start snowing again at any moment, I was less than thrilled with this development, but there was nothing for it; I had no idea whether or not there was a mechanic in Bellemont, and I didn't want to wander randomly around trying to find one. We packed everything up and got on the road. It did indeed start snowing again shortly thereafter. Thankfully it never snowed very hard. The snow eventually turned to rain as we came down off the Rim and into the Verde Valley, and it rained all the way into Phoenix and the rest of the day. But we got home safely, I avoided being cited for driving through a rainstorm without working wipers, we picked up Bo from the vet's, I bought a replacement wiper, and the MIL got on a plane back to Florida Saturday morning. So that was my first ever white Christmas. Despite everything, it was a good trip. The scenery was absolutely spectacular. I'll try and post some pictures later. And now, back to the normal stress of job hunting. The end. comments

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 16: The Island of Forbidden Creativity: The Five Challenges

New entry of this fic inspired on “Sanders Sides” by Thomas Sanders and Joan S. I seriously considered releasing this in two parts, because it’s a long, long episode. But I decided to release it all as one long “feature”. As I announced on the previous entry, this episodes features an alternate universe introduction of Remus in what probably is the most epic adventure I have ever written, but it’s up to you judge that. I’m not making the introduction any longer, so here we go. As always, you can find entries to the previous episodes right here. And I thank anyone who reads, likes or reblogs this or any of the entries from this fic. You are really appreciated and I couldn’t be more grateful. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Remus, Roman’s brother and the other half of Thomas’ Creativity, has kidnapped Roman’s other brother, the Prince Guy, and holds him as hostage. Roman, Thomas and the Sides must go to the Island of Forbidden Creativity, in the sea of Sandersia, where they will have to go through five challenges staged by Remus. If they don’t complet the challenges before one hour, Remus, who as Creativity has the power to do so, will erase the Prince Guy from existence.

WARNINGS: The first warning has a proper name: Remus. He appears here with everything warning that comes associated with it, you already know, even though I think I didn’t go as far as “Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts” did, but Remus himself is a trigger to some, so fair warning. Oh, and there’s prinxiety too.

EPISODE INDEX

THOMAS: Joan, Talyn and I are going to the beach next weekend. It’s gonna be so much fun… I just warned them to bring the black glasses with them, you know, the ones we used on the solar eclipse we saw in New York. It would be too dangerous to look at my super pail skin with their eyes unprotected…

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: What is up, everybody? Well, who would have thought. After so many weeks of emotions, some of them bad, some of them good… now I suddenly find myself in a state of utter… and total… relaxation.

VIRGIL: [rising up, yelling] THOMAS!

THOMAS: [jumps scared] WHAT!? [trying to breath] Please, Virgil… I thought we were over this, don’t just jump out of nowhere when I’m feeling relaxed!

VIRGIL: I’m sorry.

THOMAS: Weren’t you and Roman on your honeymoon? You were supposed to be back next weekend.

VIRGIL: There’s no time for that, Thomas! This is an emergency!

THOMAS: What? What is going on!?

ROMAN: [rising up] He’s right, Thomas. We need help!

THOMAS: Okay, okay, relax, please!

LOGAN: [rising up] The first thing you must do is calm down, or else we won’t understand anything.

PATTON: [rising up] Don’t worry, kiddos. Whatever it is, we’re with you and we’ll solve it together.

DECEIT: [rising up] Certainly.

HONESTY: [materializing] Now, please, calm down and explain to us what is going on.

ROMAN: What is going on? [yelling] What is going on!? [screeching the last word] What is going OOON!?

[Roman slaps himself in the cheek]

ROMAN: I’m sorry, I got carried away… Listen. This has to do with my brother.

THOMAS: With the Prince Guy?

ROMAN: Yes… and no at the same time.

LOGAN: I’m confused.

THOMAS: If you’re confused, Logan, think about how I am.

ROMAN: Okay… it’s time to reveal my secret. You know I told you the Prince Guy is my brother. And he is, but only in Sandersia. The truth is… that I have another…

[makes a pause as if he didn’t want to say the word]

VIRGIL: …brother. He has another brother, Thomas.

THOMAS: Another brother?

ROMAN: Yes, but this one is a Side of you, Thomas. A Side you didn’t know about.

THOMAS: I have a feeling… that today’s gonna be a bad day…

ROMAN: It will be better if I show you in a flashback everything that has happened. You see, this morning, Virgil and I were on the vacation island, when we looked at the sea and we saw a ship coming. It was soon that I identified my brother’s flag. He would be the only one who would print a stick of deodorant on it.

THOMAS: [confused] A… what?

VIRGIL: Wait for it… you’ll understand in a couple of minutes… sort of…

ROMAN: It took only a few minutes for the ship to get to the shore, and then…

[a flashback begins. Roman and Virgil are at the beach, looking at the ship next to the shore. Someone wearing green makes a huge jump from the ship and lands in front of them]

ROMAN: [concerned voice, frowning] …Remus!

REMUS: [with a devious smile] Long time no see, Roman!

ROMAN: How did you get out of the island?

REMUS: Is that all you have to say to your dear brother? After so many years?

ROMAN: If I said everything I wanted to say…

REMUS: Come on, Roman, don’t hold yourself! [devious smile] You know how I love kinky remarks!

ROMAN: Okay. Let’s get down to business. If you’re here, it’s clear you want something. What is it?

REMUS: But Roman, you’re not even going to introduce me to your little friend?

ROMAN: Okay. Remus, this is my husband Virgil. Virgil, this is the Duke, Remus. Happy? Now, what do you want?

REMUS: Oh, don’t be so rude! That’s my job! So you got married after all? And you didn’t invite your poor twin brother to the wedding? [faking sadness] Poor little me… [back to his usual attitude] Oh, wait. You did invite your brother, didn’t you? That doddle you created for yourself to try and replace me. It was pretty cute how he performed the ceremony.

ROMAN: How do you…? [suddenly scared] Wait a second! What did you do to him!?

REMUS: Ugh… My reputation precedes me… Why does everyone think all the time that I’m the bad guy?

ROMAN: Enough, Remus, tell me what did you do to the Prince Guy!

REMUS: Oh, don’t worry, Roman. Your fake brother is all right… [suddenly deadly serious] for the time being.

ROMAN: [angry, rising his fist] If you dare to do something to him I swear that I…

REMUS: You… what? You’ll destroy me? You know you can’t do that. We share an unbreakable bond, brother. You need me to keep on existing just as much as I need to you to exist. If something happens to me, the same will happen to you. What a pity that your fake brother doesn’t share that trait with us, right?

ROMAN: Okay, Remus. If you just wanted to do something to him, you would have done it already, so what do you want?

REMUS: Oh, nothing special. I just want that you, Thomas and all of your other friends come to visit me in my little island. You know… the one where you exiled me into years ago.

ROMAN: What for?

REMUS: I think it’s time to have a family gathering, with the whole family, I mean. [pulls out a bottle of deodorant and starts eating it, then offers some to Virgil, while loudly chewing it] Want some?

VIRGIL: Ew… gross!

REMUS: Why? It’s delicious.

ROMAN: How do I know that my brother is still alive, Remus?

REMUS: [as if he was offended] Oh, Roman, who do you think I am?

ROMAN: Do I need to answer to that?

REMUS: [giggles] Okay, you’re right. Look at my ship, right on top of the… the tall pole thingy…

[Roman uses the binoculars. He gasps when he sees the Prince Guy tied to the mast. The Prince Guy looks right at Roman as if he could see him. He says “I’m sorry”, and although Roman can’t hear him, he does understand him by reading his lips]

ROMAN: [angry] Why did you have to tie him up there!?

REMUS: [unconcerned smile] Because it was fun, of course! Well, now you’ve seen him. You and the rest of your gang have one hour to come to the island, starting from now. Or else… well, let’s just say that it would be a pity to wipe such a noble character from the face of existence. Byeee!

[Remus suddenly jumps to the ship. The ship then sails away as fast as it arrived. Soon it disappears in the distance. Roman angrily yells and throws the binoculars to the ground, breaking them in half, then holds his head with both hands in despair]

VIRGIL: [holding his shoulders] I’m so sorry, Roman…

ROMAN: After all this time… I thought that I had gotten rid of him for good. I guess the devil looks after his own. But how could he get away after so many years?

VIRGIL: I’ve got so many questions… but there’s only one that matters now. What are we going to do, Roman?

ROMAN: The only thing we can do right now, Virgil. There’s little time, and if I know Remus, and, unfortunately, I know him too well, he’s not bluffing about wiping my brother from existence. We must call the others.

[the flashback ends]

THOMAS: Okay. So, Remus is your brother, and you say that he’s a Side of me, but what Side? I don’t understand.

ROMAN: Remus is my… [makes a pause]

VIRGIL: ...twin brother.

ROMAN: That’s it... because he represents the other edge of your creativity, Thomas.

THOMAS: What?

ROMAN: I take charge of your “light imagination”, the one you use for your work, your happy thoughts, your hopes and dreams… Remus is everything else. He’s the part of your imagination that must be supressed. If I’m your dreams, he’s your nightmares; if I’m your hopes, he’s your dark fantasies; if I’m your creative thoughts, he’s your intrusive thoughts…

THOMAS: I don’t think I’m gonna like him…

ROMAN: Tell me about it. He always tried to mess around with my Dream Factory to create all sort of abominations to haunt you. You remember my Dream Factory, right Thomas? It’s the one we visited months ago to try and solve your problem of wrath… [suddenly remembering] Oh, I forgot about Ira… I’m sorry, guys, I’ve come here to bother you with another issue when I don’t know if you have recovered from that one…

DECEIT: It’s okay, Roman. Ira is alive.

VIRGIL: What?

DECEIT: He’s come back to life as a Sanders Sprite. He came to visit us a couple of days ago. He asked us to send you his love.

VIRGIL: That’s so good to know… I wish we had been there to see him too.

THOMAS: Yeah, me too, but he could stay only for a couple of minutes and we didn’t have time to call you.

ROMAN: That’s really great news to hear, and I’d literally start singing out of joy… if we weren’t in the situation we are right now. Guys, time is running out. We have to do something to rescue my brother.

THOMAS: I guess we have to do as Remus said. We have to go to that… island you mentioned.

VIRGIL: But is it safe to just do as he says? It could perfectly be a trap.

ROMAN: It definitely is a trap, Virgil. Remus is up to something, but he’s so unpredictable that I don’t know what he could be plotting against us. You guys must understand that, if we go, we’re all gonna be at risk. I wouldn’t ask you to do this if my brother’s life wasn’t endangered.

THOMAS: Of course we’re going. Trap or not. You are one of us, Roman. If he hurts you or your loved ones, he’s hurting us all. You can count on us, right guys?

LOGAN: Affirmative.

PATTON: Right, kiddo!

DECEIT: Count me in.

HONESTY: And me too.

VIRGIL: I already vowed to be with you in good times and bad. Of course I’m not letting you down.

ROMAN: [emotional] I love you, guys.

THOMAS: Now, before we go, what is that island we’re going into?

ROMAN: It’s the Island of Forbidden Creativity.

THOMAS: Another of your foreboding names, Roman?

ROMAN: Yes. I named it like that because I created it specifically to hold Remus. I still don’t know how he could get away.

THOMAS: Where is it and how do we get there?

ROMAN: It is far, far away, on the other edge of Sandersia, beyond the Sea of the Blank Pages. I made sure that it was as isolated as it could be so that Remus could never find the way back. That’s why I don’t know how he could do it…

THOMAS: Will we be able to get there in less than an hour?

ROMAN: Oh, yes, Thomas. You should know by now that traveling in Sandersia can be pretty fast if you have the right mode of conveyance.

VIRGIL: And is there something in that island that we should be worried about? I mean, if you created it as a prison for Remus, it has to have some danger into it, doesn’t it?

ROMAN: The truth is I didn’t design many traps on it myself. I considered that being in the middle of nowhere was already enough to contain him. I cannot speak on Remus’ behalf, though. I’m sure he has prepared a welcome committee for us.

THOMAS: Okay, we’ll have to find out when we get there. I presume we must go to your room first to get there, right?

ROMAN: Yes, first to my room, then to Sandersia and then we go to the shore. The royal carriage is waiting at the door to my room, and the ship is also waiting at the shore, you know, the one we used to come and go from the vacation island.

THOMAS: Then let’s go.

[Honesty’s hologram disappears. Thomas and the Sides sink down, then they appear in Roman’s room. They quickly get to Sandersia and jump on the royal carriage, which takes them to the shore. They get off and look at the ship. It’s similar to Remus’ ship, but the flag sports Roman’s shield. The gang get aboard and the ship starts sailing. It goes fast and soon the shore disappears in the horizon. Thomas is leaning overboard, looking at the sea, and Virgil approaches him and leans next to him]

THOMAS: It’s strange, isn’t it?

VIRGIL: What?

THOMAS: The ship is sailing so fast… but it doesn’t look like it at all. At the speed we’re going, in the real world we would be forced to hold onto the nearest thing so that we don’t just get propelled out, and yet here we are, as if this was a tranquil cruise. I can’t even feel the speed at all.

VIRGIL: Yeah, you’re right. I also felt the same when we were sailing to the vacation island. Thomas…

THOMAS: Yes, Virgil?

VIRGIL: How has been Deceit doing lately? I couldn’t stop worrying about him all these days.

THOMAS: Well… he certainly was devastated. You left two weeks after… what happened, and he still stayed inside of Honesty for two whole weeks more. In the end it was him who finally gave signs of life, so we clung onto that to appeal to him. In hindsight, I think he also wanted to get out, but he just didn’t feel worthy of it. It took some time to finally make him remember he’s one of us and why he’s one of us, but we finally did it, and Ira’s surprise appearance in the end was the cherry on top to make him feel better. I don’t think you have anything to worry about anymore.

VIRGIL: But I do, Thomas. I can’t help but feeling a little awkward when we’re in the same room.

THOMAS: Why?

VIRGIL: Well, how would you feel if you were in the same room with someone that you positively know he has feelings towards you but you can’t return these feelings, and not only that but you’re in the same room with that person and the person who loves you and you’re in love with, who also knows that the other person has feelings for me?

THOMAS: Yeah, that’s rough, buddy.

VIRGIL: It’s weird that the three of us are here acting as if nothing had happened. I don’t know if I can keep up the act for too long. I wish I had Deceit’s capacity for deception, but I don’t.

THOMAS: I understand, Virgil, but, at least for the team, you will have to make an effort and do as if nothing had happened. Because, to be fair, nothing has really happened. Deceit never wanted to confess his feelings towards you because he respected your relation with Roman.

VIRGIL: You’re right, but still…

THOMAS: I understand your worrying. You’re Vigilance, after all, but I don’t think you have anything to fear. It’s just that this is the first time the three of you are together after the reveal, but you’ll get used to it, and in no time it will be like the old times. Well, not like the old, old ones, but the newer old ones, do you get me? You’ll see.

VIRGIL: I hope you’re right, Thomas. I don’t wanna lose his friendship again.

DECEIT: Me neither, Virgil.

[Virgil gets startled and now notices Deceit behind them]

VIRGIL: How long have you been there?

DECEIT: [walking next to them] It doesn’t matter. Listen, when I was in my retirement this past month, I had a lot of time to think… in between the moments I wasn’t torturing myself over Ira’s fate, that is. And I came to a conclusion. I value our friendship, and I also value Roman’s friendship. As Honesty is my witness that I’m saying the truth, I would never do anything to betray that. You and Roman have nothing to fear from me, I promise.

VIRGIL: I know that, but how will that make you feel? That’s what is worrying me the most.

DECEIT: Well, one thing friends do is putting their friendship before themselves… Ha… to think that I used to call this a boogeyman not so long ago… Now I understand the real value of friendship and I’m gonna honor ours. In time, my feelings will lower down to what they’re supposed to be, the most intense and sincere of friendships you could ever get. So don’t worry about me, Virgil, I’ll be fine.

VIRGIL: Thank you.

PATTON: [yelling from the ship’s bow] Land ahoy, kiddos! [giggles] I’ve always wanted to say that.

[All the Sides and Thomas gather on bow and look at the island they can see in the horizon. At first it just looks like a shadow, but as they get closer, they see it’s full of green everywhere. There’s what looks like a castle on top of the tallest hill]

HONESTY: [from inside Deceit’s body] It doesn’t look so dangerous. In fact, it looks really pretty.

ROMAN: Don’t judge by appearances, Hon. That island is dangerous, especially with Remus on the loose.

HONESTY: Well, you know best, Roman, you made the island.

THOMAS: Okay… We’re arriving. Where should we take the ship, Roman?

ROMAN: Over there, Thomas, there’s a dock on that beach.

[The ship sails to where Roman has pointed out and docks. Thomas and the Sides get off and walk to the beach. They don’t have to walk much when Remus appears in front of them]

REMUS: Oooh! You’ve arrived at last! And five minutes before the deadline! I’m impressed, Roman!

ROMAN: Yes, we are here, Remus. Now, where is my brother?

REMUS: Why, I’m here, Roman! Are you sure you don’t need glasses?

ROMAN: [cold voice] I mean my brother, Remus. You are just a curse in my life I’m forced to deal with.

REMUS: [shows a brief gesture of hurt that lasts for a second, then quickly masks it with his usual tone] Ouch… that hurts… But I won’t hold it against you, Princey.

ROMAN: Thank you… Dookie.

REMUS: Ha! I love it, that was a good one, Nickel Romeo! Now, may you introduce me to your friends?

ROMAN: [angry] What about my brother!?

REMUS: Hush… Roman. Your [making the quotation mark gesture] “brother” is fine. [slightly threatening voice] Don’t put that on risk just for… rushing up. Okay, I already knew your lovebird. Virgil, it was? And here is Deceit… Oooh… so terrifying with that makeup and colored lens.

DECEIT: How do you…?

REMUS: Honey, the paint is really noticeable. I don’t blame you, it must have been the rush. Other times the scales looked quite more realistic, you know?

DECEIT: [sighs] Maybe because they were real back then?

REMUS: Oh, so you were a real snake back then? How fun… I love slimy, slippery things on my body… [looks at Patton and Logan] Oh, and I presume you are Patton and Logan. Let’s see… Same glasses… similar logos…  Same boring appearance… I wonder who’s copying who, but anyway you both suck at styling, so…

LOGAN: [screeching] FALSEHOOD!

PATTON: [angry squealing] If you keep talking about Logan like that, I will physically fight you!

VIRGIL: [low voice] Oh, good… for once it’s not me to whom he says that…

REMUS: [mocking Patton] Oooh… I’m shaking… please don’t bite me, I’m not vaccinated against rabies…

THOMAS: It seems you haven been watching us for a long time.

REMUS: Oh, indeed, I have. And you are Thomas, or as some call you, the Light Master.

THOMAS: Don’t call me like that again, please.

REMUS: [giggles] Roman, can you tell Thomas about the funniest trait about me?

ROMAN: [sighs] You can’t force Remus out of a topic of conversation and you can’t make him stop saying whatever he wants whenever it pleases him.

REMUS: Got it, Light Master? Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ve been called worse… For instance…

THOMAS: [interrupting him] Since when have you been watching us, may I ask?

REMUS: Well, let’s see… Every breath you took, every move you made, I was watching you, all the time since your childhood…

THOMAS: That’s creepy…

REMUS: Until Roman banished me here. When was that? I think around… twenty years ago or so, right, Roman? Yes, around 20 years ago.

THOMAS: But I’ve known Roman since I was, like, three, and he never mentioned you any single time, neither I saw you, not even once.

REMUS: However, I was there, Thomas. Every time you had a creepy idea, or had a horrifying nightmare, or something… twisted crossed your mind… that was me playing around. And even after I was taken here and wasn’t there to see you, and even though I didn’t even know where you were, you could feel my influence from here, diminished by the distance, but still very present. My… your poor aunt Patty has gone through so much in your mind thanks to me.

THOMAS: But why didn’t I see you when you were close to me?

REMUS: Well…

ROMAN: [interrupting him] Umm… please, Remus. What have you done with my brother? Give him back to me, I beg you!

REMUS: [scoffs] Oh… this was unexpected. So, now you’re begging? [serious face] Didn’t I beg you twenty years ago? Didn’t I beg you not to leave me here like a stray puppy? [angry] I was only a child and you abandoned me here! Did you listen to me back then? Then why should I listen to you now?

ROMAN: You know very well what happened, Remus.

REMUS: Yes, you and I know very well what happened. [evil smile] But does Thomas know? And your other friends? Logan, Patton, Virgil, Deceit and… [noticing someone’s missing] wait a minute, where are Honesty and Wrath? [angry] I told you to bring all of them here, Roman!

[Honesty materializes next to Deceit]

HONESTY: I’m here, Remus. And Wrath… or Ira… is dead. The Dark Master killed him, and I got trapped in Deceit’s body because of him.

REMUS: Oh, is that so? Well, you’re honesty, why would you lie? And to be honest I saw the Dark Master coming from a mile away to your wedding. I had to make a strategic retreat when I sensed him coming. It wasn’t in my plans to be noticed by him, you know.

[Honesty disappears]

REMUS: Okay, where was I…? Oh, yes. Your brother, Roman. You desperately want him back, right?

ROMAN: Yes.

REMUS: Well, he’s in my castle on top of the hill. If you want him so bad, go get him. If you have the guts, that is.

ROMAN: I presume you didn’t make it easy, did you?

REMUS: Of course I didn’t. A high prize requires a high effort, doesn’t it? You will have to face five challenges while inside the castle walls. I had prepared seven, but since Wrath won’t be able to join us, and Honesty is a little tied to Deceit, I’ll give you Wrath’s for free and Honesty will do his challenge with Deceit. Because, yes, each challenge will be directly addressed to one of the Sides, even though the rest will be able to help him to some extent. Don’t worry, I didn’t make impossible challenges. The game wouldn’t have any emotion if I was already the winner in advance, don’t you think? Win these challenges and I’ll give you your brother safe and tight. Lose and… well, you already know what happens if you lose.

THOMAS: So I don’t have any challenges.

REMUS: Boy, you are doing all the challenges. They are your Sides, remember?

LOGAN: Any rules we must abide to?

REMUS: Oh, only two rules. Rule number one. No retreating into Thomas’ body. As soon as you try that stunt, the Prince Guy will immediately die.

ROMAN: Don’t you dare!

REMUS: [suddenly staring right in front of Roman’s face with a deep, threatening voice] No, don’t you dare break that rule, understand? [back with the others and normal voice] And rule number two… There are no more rules at all. I can do whatever I want and you can do whatever you want, except what has been forbidden, to win the challenges. That makes it more fun.

ROMAN: That’s it. That’s the proof that you are making us go through a rigged game. It’s obviously a trap.

REMUS: Maybe… [threatening voice] But if you don’t go through that trap, I swear that your precious brother will feel every minute while I wipe him out of existence. I’m Creativity too, Roman. I can make and erase characters as easy as you can, and you know it.

ROMAN: [sighs] Okay. I accept your challenges.

THOMAS: And so do we. How do we start?

REMUS: Just go to the castle. The fun will begin as soon as you cross the door. I will be waiting for you at the throne room, with the Prince Guy… Oh, did I mention that you only have one hour before the Prince Guy vanishes? The clock is starting any minute now, so if I were you I would hurry to the door. Good luck, guys!

[Remus disappears]

ROMAN: I’m sorry, guys, I’m making you go through this.

THOMAS: Roman, what was he talking about? Why did you have to leave Remus here?

ROMAN: [nervous] It’s a long story, Thomas, and our time is short right now. Let’s go.

[Roman starts walking towards the castle and the others follow him]

DECEIT: What are you hiding, Roman? If you know something about Remus that we don’t know, I think we have the right to know it too. We’re about to fight against him for you, remember?

ROMAN: [Roman stops, turns around and yells] I know! [nervous breathing, anxious face and slight stuttering, he’s shaking as if he was on the verge of a panic attack] But… please… not now… I… I’m not ready yet. I promise I will tell you, guys… but please, not now… please…

[Virgil runs and hugs Roman, who hugs him back and starts crying on his shoulder]

VIRGIL: [petting Roman’s hair, with a sweet calming voice] Calm down, Roman. It’s okay… It’s okay… Remember you are among friends and you’re safe right now. Breath like I taught you and everything will be fine…

THOMAS: We won’t force you into doing anything you don’t wanna do. We’ll wait till you’re ready to share it with us.

DECEIT: [remorseful voice] I’m sorry, Roman. I didn’t mean to push you… If I had known it was something so harsh and so personal for you, I wouldn’t even have brought it up.

ROMAN: [more calm, after letting go of Virgil, cleaning his eyes with his hand] It’s okay, Deceit. It’s normal that you have worries, and I know that I should tell you what happened. It’s just that the stress of seeing my brother in danger and Remus’ threats… it just made me go over the edge and it all came out at once. But I’ll be fine. For you and for my brother, I gotta be fine.

THOMAS: You really love your brother, the Prince Guy, don’t you.

ROMAN: Well, you have three brothers yourself, Thomas, you already know how brotherly love feels, don’t you?

THOMAS: Yeah, I know. And that makes me wonder what could have happened between Remus and you that could make you two hate each other like that, when at the end of the day you are brothers too.

ROMAN: [sighs] It’s complicated, Thomas. For the time being, I’ll just tell you that in the Prince Guy, I found love, support, affection, a confident, an ally… I’d gladly give my own life for him. I don’t wanna lose him.

THOMAS: Then you won’t! We’ll help you go through these challenges and bring him back to you! You’ll see!

[all the Sides nod in agreement]

ROMAN: Thank you guys… Now let’s go. We cannot waste any more time.

[Thomas and the Sides keep on walking. After a couple of minutes, they reach the castle. They get to the front door. Roman reaches his hand to the knob, but suddenly becomes hesitant]

ROMAN: Okay… here we are…

VIRGIL: Are you scared?

ROMAN: Who wouldn’t? I mean, not even I, who know Remus very well, could imagine what his twisted mind could have prepared for us behind this door… But anyway, we have no choice. Let’s do it and hope for the best. Are you ready, guys?

THOMAS: As ready as we’ll ever be… Now, open the door.

ROMAN: Okay…

[Roman turns the knob and the door opens. Inside, there is only darkness, even when there’s light entering from the outside]

ROMAN: Oh, great, just what we needed. I hate the dark.

VIRGIL: Hold my hand, we’ll come in together.

ROMAN: Thank you, my love.

[Everybody enters, Roman and Virgil together, the others one by one. When they come in, the door slams shut and they’re left in the dark]

LOGAN: It’s the first time that, when forced into the dark, Princey doesn’t start screaming like a little girl…

ROMAN: Oh, come on, Logan. I have nothing to fear when my husband is with me. [yelling] Okay, Remus, we’re here. You can start with your challenges already!

[Suddenly several torches light around them. The sudden light blinds them for a second, but soon they see they’re in a room with a round pit in the center. Faint light is also coming from the pit. There’s no sign of the door through which they came in, only walls in all directions. Remus’ voice is heard from above]

REMUS: Very well. Let’s go with the first challenge.

[They suddenly hear canine whining. They look where the sound comes from and they see a cage hanging from a chain just above the pit. Inside, there’s a cute little puppy with a distressed face, crying]

PATTON: Oh, no! What is he going to do with that puppy!?

REMUS: The first challenge is for Patton. You really love dogs, don’t you? And you would do anything to save them from a horrible destiny, wouldn’t you? Well, now it’s your chance. You have seen the little dog, his name is Muser.

THOMAS: Muser?

REMUS: What? It’s a cute name for a cute boi. I think I don’t need to say what the challenge is, Patton. You have to save that dog from falling down that pit, which is full of fire and flames… on the side of my face… You must get the dog out of the cage safely out of the pit to win the challenge. The others can help you as they want, but only Patton can touch the cage and the dog. Hurry up. You don’t wanna see the cute dog turned into a hot dog, do you?

[the chain suddenly creaks and the cage descends a couple of inches, the dog, scared, whines louder]

PATTON: Hold on, little puppy, I’ll save you! Guys, what should I do?

LOGAN: Let’s see… the cage is too far away from the edge, so you can’t reach it from here with your bare hands.

PATTON: Maybe with the stretchy arm?

[Patton tries to stretch his arm, but nothing happens]

REMUS: Oh, did I mention that the stretchy arm doesn’t work inside the castle walls? Too bad…

PATTON: Heckity heck! Sorry for my foul language. Then what do we do?

LOGAN: Let me think… only you can touch the cage or the dog. And you can’t reach it from here… Okay… I think I might have got something. Roman, you’re always boasting about how strong you are. We all know that it’s just in your imagination…

[Roman emits some offended Princey noises]

LOGAN: …but since we are in the land of imagination, perhaps your strength could be real here… let’s try something. Grab Virgil by the ankles, and try to lift him as high as you can.

ROMAN: Okay…

[Roman grabs Virgil and lifts him. To the surprise of everyone, including Roman, he lifts Virgil over his head as if Virgil was light as a feather]

ROMAN: [in disbelief] I did it…? [to Logan, proud of himself] Ha! Did you see how I did it? I’m strong!

LOGAN: [unimpressed] Of course you are, Roman. Another experiment, try to throw Virgil…

VIRGIL: Hey, Logan! Are you trying to make my husband throw me into the pit or something? I heard that as soon as we got married, he would make me fall into the flames of passion, but this is ridiculous!

LOGAN: Will you let me finish, please? Deceit, stand on the other edge of the room. Roman, let’s see how far you can throw Virgil. Try to throw him to Deceit so that he can catch Virgil. At least, try to save the distance equivalent to the pit, if you can. I suppose your aim is as good as your strength right now, so aim at Deceit, not at the pit. We don’t wanna have roasted panther for dinner.

VIRGIL: [frowning] Very funny, Logan.

PATTON: [mumbling to himself, partly squealing] He’s made a joke… I’m so proud of him.

ROMAN: Okay, I think I see where you’re going… Ready, Virgil?

VIRGIL: No, but I guess I have no choice. Let’s do it already.

ROMAN: Ready, Deceit?

DECEIT: Of course not!

ROMAN: I’ll take that as a yes. Okay… here I go! Catch him, Deceit!

[Roman throws Virgil]

VIRGIL: [flying in the air] Whooooaaaaaaa!

[Virgil flies all across the room and falls on Deceit, they both end on the floor]

DECEIT: Ouch… That didn’t hurt me at all!

VIRGIL: Well, it did hurt me! You were supposed to grab me, Deceit!

DECEIT: And you were not supposed to fall on my arms, not on my head, Virgil!

ROMAN: I’m sorry, guys!

LOGAN: Okay, the experiment has been a success. This is the plan. Roman, you’re gonna grab Patton and throw him over the pit, so that he can grab the cage on the fly and land at the other side of the pit, saving the dog in the process.

PATTON: Oh, my goodness… I’m scared…

ROMAN: Don’t worry, Patton I’ll throw you with all my might, so that you land safely on the other side of the pit. You’ve seen I could do it with Virgil, and he’s always carrying the heavy burden of his soul over his shoulders, and also all the fries he ate these last weeks on the vacation island. You, being such a puffball, will be much lighter.

VIRGIL: Um… are you implying that I got weight, honey? Because I still have sharp nails and I still remember how to scratch faces from my panther days.

ROMAN: Sorry, my lightest kitty Virgil.

PATTON: But what if I just crash on the cage, and the dog and I fall to our doom?

LOGAN: If he throws you with enough might, you won’t fall, your weight will push you with the cage to the other side of the pit and you’ll land there safely. Don’t be afraid.

PATTON: Wouldn’t you be afraid?

ROMAN: I know it’s scary, but don’t be weary. Cause we don’t have much long, let’s not waste it feeling wrong.

THOMAS: Quoting my dear friend dodie. I love it.

PATTON: Okay… I hope your calculations are right, Logan.

LOGAN: I’m always right, Patton.

DECEIT: [loudly] Ahem…

LOGAN: [frowning at Deceit] Okay… almost always, but this time I’m right. Patton, remember that you must catch the cage while you are in the air, okay?

PATTON: But I’m not good at catching things, Logan. I don’t know if I can do this…

LOGAN: Yes, you can, Patton. You are more intelligent and more capable than what you give yourself credit for. It’s your chance to proof it now. I trust you, so trust yourself.

ROMAN: I trust you too.

THOMAS: And so do I.

VIRGIL: You can do this, dad.

DECEIT: I don’t trust you… I mean, I do. Sorry, I’m nervous.

HONESTY: [from inside Deceit’s body] Now go get that puppy and make sure Muser gets a good home when we’re out of this.

PATTON: Thank you, kiddos. I’ll do my best.

ROMAN: Okay, I’ll grab you.

[Roman grabs Patton by the wrist and gets in front of the pit. He aims at the cage and calculates how to throw him]

LOGAN: Remember, Patton, open your arms and when you get to the cage, grab it. Got it?

PATTON: Got it, Logan.

ROMAN: Okay, here I go.

[Roman walks back a few steps until he gets close to the back wall, then runs and throws Patton aiming at the cage. Patton flies over the pit. When Patton gets to the cage, he grabs it. Inertia makes Patton and the cage move forward, and the chain breaks on the side of the cage. However, the weigh of the cage is too much and he’s not gonna make it. Patton has one second to hold the cage with one hand and grab the chain with the other one, and he gets suspended over the pit]

ROMAN: Patton!

VIRGIL: Dad!

THOMAS: Patton, hold on!

PATTON: [scared, struggling] I’m trying, but this cage weighs too much!

[the dog whines in terror inside the cage]

LOGAN: I miscalculated… I didn’t consider the weight of the cage…

PATTON: Please, help me! I don’t think I can last much longer!

DECEIT: The first thing you must do is getting rid of the extra weight!

PATTON: What!? No! I’m not dropping Muser! That would be wrong!

DECEIT: Patton, this is not the moment for a lesson in morality! You will both fall down if you don’t let it go!

PATTON: But I can’t! Not only because I cannot let the dog go, but also because we would lose the challenge if we did that!

DECEIT: Who cares about losing the challenge if we’re going to lose you!?

PATTON: I do care about losing the challenge! It’s Roman’s brother we’re talking about, we can’t leave him!

LOGAN: Okay… I must think fast… Patton, try to sway the cage left and right, like a pendulum. Can you do it without falling?

PATTON: I’ll try.

THOMAS: What’s your plan, Logan?

LOGAN: Maybe Patton can throw the cage out of the pit, and then he would be free to hold the chain with both hands.

[Patton does as Logan told him and he sways the cage left and right. In doing so, the chain also starts swaying left and right]

LOGAN: Okay, when you’re close to the edge, throw the cage with all your might out of the pit.

[Patton throws the cage. It falls next to the edge, but lands safely]

LOGAN: Well done! Guys, don’t touch the cage, remember the challenge is not ov…

PATTON: [horrified] Aaah!

[Logan doesn’t have time to finish the sentence as the chain breaks and Patton starts falling]

ROMAN: [yelling in distress] Patton!

[A purple shadow grabs Patton in the air and lands with him next to the cage]

THOMAS: What was that?

VIRGIL: [breathing loudly, holding Patton by the hips, they’re both on the floor] The rule said that we couldn’t touch the cage. It didn’t say anything about not touching Patton. And certainly I wasn’t going to let my father fall into that pit!

PATTON: [hugging Virgil, emotional] Thank you, son! Thank you! You saved me!

VIRGIL: [hugging him back] It was nothing.

ROMAN: It was nothing? Do you realize the jump you have just made? Not even Mike Powell could perform a jump like that!

VIRGIL: It was a fight or flight reflex… I saw my father falling, I jumped. I didn’t care if I fell with him or not, I only knew I had to grab him, and I did.

PATTON: I’m so proud of you, kiddo.

VIRGIL: No, dad, I am the one who’s proud of you. You did it! You won the challenge!

LOGAN: Well, not yet. Patton you need to set the dog free. Open the cage and the challenge will be complete.

PATTON: Oh, that’s right. Come here buddy… Good boi…

[Patton opens the cage. The puppy immediately jumps out, barks happily… and then jumps into the pit]

PATTON: [horrified] Noooo!

[the dog then reappears levitating from the pit. To the surprise of everyone, it now sports a mustache and starts speaking with Remus’ voice]

REMUS: Woof, woof! Thank you so much for saving me, Patton… [giggles] You should have seen your face!

LOGAN: So you were the dog all the time… and you named him Muser? [face of realization] Oooh… ooh, that’s brilliant!

VIRGIL: Why are you complimenting him?

LOGAN: Muser… it’s an anagram of Remus! He disguised himself and put the clue right in our face, like…

THOMAS: Like the Master, from Doctor Who. Yes, I know you’re the part of me that loves that series, but this is not the time for complimenting the enemy, Logan.

LOGAN: You’re right, sorry… [geeking out like a fanboy] But it was great, how he almost reversed his name as if he was reversing the polarity of the neutron flow… [noticing Thomas frowning at him] okay, sorry, I’ll be quiet.

PATTON: You’re mean, Remus, you scared the ship out of me! Sorry for the foul language, kiddos.

REMUS: [mocking him] Oh, did I? I didn’t even notice.

ROMAN: Okay, Remus, the first challenge is complete. What comes next?

[Remus shapeshifts into his real form, still levitating]

REMUS: Sure, you passed the first challenge, and the door to the second challenge is right there.

THOMAS: Where? I can’t see any door!

REMUS: Are you sure none of you needs glasses? It’s right there!

[Remus points to a wall and everybody looks where he’s pointing. There is a door that didn’t exist earlier. When they look back at Remus, he has disappeared]

ROMAN: Where did he go?

REMUS: [voice] I’m always watching you. By the way, you’ve got 44 minutes and four challenges left. I hope you’re ready four it. But anyway, you’d better hurry.

LOGAN: Ugh… another pungeon master… Okay, let’s go.

[The gang approaches the door. It opens before them. Behind the door, there’s a corridor where they come in. When they’re all in, the door closes and disappears. They start walking through the corridor]

THOMAS: I feel as if I was part of Alice in Wonderland, but creepier.

VIRGIL: I normally like creepy, but when it’s us who must go through the creepy, I don’t like it so much.

LOGAN: Look, there’s a door at the end. It’s closed.

[The gang approaches the door. On the floor there’s an indigo tile, just in front of the door. The next few steps are also full of tiles with other colors of the rainbow and a white tile]

THOMAS: What’s the meaning of all these bright colored tiles on the floor? The rest of the floor is totally gray… [a noise is heard and the floor starts shaking] …I think I’m already regretting asking that.

REMUS: [his voice is heard] These tiles are for you, one for each of you. You know your colors, so hurry and stand each on your tile before it’s too late.

[Logan stands on the indigo tile next to the door. The others stand on their respective colors and Thomas on the white tile. As soon as they do, the rest of the floor collapses and sinks down, revealing a huge cliff]

THOMAS: What is it with Remus and falling stunts?

ROMAN: Well, if I’m a Disney prince, obviously he’s gonna be a Disney villain, and you already know how most of Disney villains end, don’t you? Maybe he’s getting used to the idea the fate that awaits him?

THOMAS: Wow, that was dark… but it makes sense…

REMUS: [giggling] It really was dark! I love it, brother! Now, on with the next challenge. Logan, this is for you.

LOGAN: I’m ready.

REMUS: As you can see, there’s that door, and there on the side, there’s a keyboard with numbers on it, from 0 to 9. You must choose the correct sequence of numbers to open the door. If you choose the wrong sequence, the colored tiles may lose… stability. You have my permission to jump to other tiles if yours is bound to fall, but be careful when you do. You don’t wanna throw the occupant to the abyss, do you?

LOGAN: Okay… A sequence of numbers… This could mean anything…

ROMAN: Umm… Is this of any help to you at all?

LOGAN: What?

ROMAN: There are Roman numbers engraved on my tile.

LOGAN: Roman numbers?

THOMAS: Yes, there are Roman numbers on my tile too.

DECEIT: Here too.

PATTON: I don’t have numbers… I have letters…

LOGAN: Are these letters on the range of I, C, V, X, L, D and M?

PATTON: Yes?

LOGAN: Okay, more Roman numbers.

PATTON: Those are Roman numbers? Why did you choose to write numbers like that, Roman?

ROMAN: What?

LOGAN: [sighs] We mean Roman numbers, from the Roman empire, not from Roman the Princey… Okay… Let’s see if that gives us some kind of clue… Thomas, what’s in your tile?

THOMAS: It’s in three rows. It reads… CCLV, the same three times.

LOGAN: Okay, that’s 255, three times… What about you, Roman?

ROMAN: Mine reads… CCLV, and that’s it.

LOGAN: Another 255, but only one? How about you, Patton?

PATTON: Mine is in two rows. It reads… CCV and CCLV.

LOGAN: Again 255, but we get a new number before, a 205… Deceit, what about you?

DECEIT: Mine reads CCLV, but two times.

LOGAN: Again 255, two times this time? And Virgil?

VIRGIL: Okay… Mine reads CCX and CCLV. But there’s a huge blank space between the rows.

LOGAN: A huge blank space? And it reads 210 and another 255? Oh… Oh, I think I get it!

THOMAS: Illuminate us.

LOGAN: I can’t, Thomas, I’m not carrying a torch.

THOMAS: [sighs] Sorry, I forgot to add… “figuratively”.

LOGAN: Oh, apologies… Thomas, you’ve worked extensively with video editing, right?

THOMAS: Right.

LOGAN: And with that, you’ve used software with which you’ve manipulated color on images, right?

THOMAS: Right, sometimes.

LOGAN: How do you directly manipulate colors on a computerized image? Usually the software does it for you, but if you wanted to choose a specific color and tone by hand, you’d need to use RGB codes! What is written on the tiles are the RGB codes belonging to the color of your tiles, only that using Roman numbers.

PATTON: What are RGB codes?

LOGAN: Well, RGB stands for Red, Green, Blue. As you probably know, white light can be divided into these three basic colors. When mixed in different amounts, these colors produce all the more than 16 million colors from the spectrum. To simplify the process, a computer divides these amounts of basic colors into 256 different possible quantities, counting from 0 to 255, being 0 the total absence of that color and 255 the maximum quantity. The first number corresponds to the amount of red color, the second to the amount of green color, and the third to the amount of blue color. The computer mixes these quantities of basic colors and produces the desired end color for your use.

PATTON: Gotcha.

LOGAN: Thomas, the code written on your tile is “255, 255, 255”, which belongs to color white, that is, the maximum amount of all the basic colors. Roman has a single 255, which, if we add two zeros, belongs to color red, as it has the max of red color and none of the other colors. Virgil has a huge gap between rows because color for purple is 210,0,255. The gap stands for the zero, as Romans didn’t know the number zero and therefore there’s no sign for it. That’s what gave me the clue.

VIRGIL: Okay, great, so now we know our respective colors in RGB codes. How is that going to help us open the door?

LOGAN: I… [beat] …don’t know.

ROMAN: Okay, great way to build up hopes for nothing, Logan.

PATTON: Well, at least we learned something new today.

DECEIT: What’s the use if we’re gonna stay here forever?

HONESTY: [from inside Deceit] Guys, don’t give up. That has to mean something.

LOGAN: If we only knew what it is… I’m open to ideas, guys, any help is greatly appreciated.

THOMAS: Yes, I’m thinking too… but I can’t come up with anything. I suppose it’s normal, since you’re my logical thinking. If you can’t come up with anything, neither can I, I guess…

PATTON: [looking at the sign written on his tile] CCLV… It’s funny that all the tiles have that same symbol… Logan, does your tile have it too?

LOGAN: Let’s see… hmm… that’s odd.

PATTON: What?

LOGAN: There are no Roman numbers on my tile. None at all. It’s weird that among all of the tiles, it’s my tile in front of the door the only one without numbers…

ROMAN: What would be the symbols if there were. I’m just curious at this point.

LOGAN: Let’s see… Indigo color… [closes his eyes and concentrates for a couple of seconds] the numbers are… 10, 35, 150… In Roman numbers, it would be X, XXXV, CL. How odd, it’s the only code that doesn’t have a 255.

ROMAN: How odd, so many X's there…

THOMAS: How did you calculate what code belongs to indigo so fast by heart, Logan?

LOGAN: I’m your brain, Thomas. A human brain is better than the best super-computer mankind could ever build. It’s feelings what make humans unable of using the full capacity of their brains. I’m not gonna say anymore that I don’t have feelings, and I acknowledge that feelings are good in humans, because they’re humans, not machines, but I can brush feelings off when I need it. Trust me, the code is correct.

VIRGIL: Is no one going to remind him that he miscalculated earlier on the pit?

LOGAN: [angry] Okay, fine, I made a mistake! But that’s because feelings got in the way because I…

[stops mid sentence, looks at Patton and blushes]

THOMAS: …because you were afraid of putting Patton in mortal danger. Is that what you were going to say?

LOGAN: Yes. Because Patton is my friend. And I don’t want anything bad happening to him, or anyone of you, much less being the cause of it.

PATTON: Aww, Logan. I love you too!

LOGAN: I didn’t say…

PATTON: [with a cute smile] Yes, you did, Indicool Teacher.

LOGAN: Indicool? That’s not even a word… that’s just a portmanteau of the words “indigo” and “cool” and I don’t see how that could make any sense, other than meaning that indigo is cool… [sudden face of realization] Indigo is cool! Oh, my goodness… I think I got it! I think I got the code that opens the door!

THOMAS: Really?

LOGAN: What code is the only code that wouldn’t appear engraved on the tiles? Exactly the code that would need to be entered to open the door! Guys, the code is 10, 35, 150, the code for indigo color, my color! That’s what makes indigo cool! It is the key to open the door! Well done giving me that clue, Patton!

PATTON: I don’t know what I said… but I love to be validated by Logan, so I’m not complaining.

THOMAS: That makes sense… And it could work!

ROMAN: So that’s why the Roman version of the code had so many X’s… an X marks the spot. Or in this case, a ton of X’s.

VIRGIL: Okay, Logan, are you sure? Remember that if you enter a code and it’s wrong, our tiles will fall loose.

LOGAN: The truth is I’m not sure of anything inside these castle walls, especially being Remus the referee on these challenges, but what else can we do? Wait here stuck until time runs out and Roman’s brother perishes?

ROMAN: Yes, we need to move forwards, whatever it is. We will all eventually perish anyway if we stay stuck here, including my brother. Staying still is no better than falling down at this point.

VIRGIL: I guess you’re right. Guys, everyone, get ready to hold on whatever you can or jump if you sense your tile going loose, okay?

[Thomas and the Sides nod in agreement]

THOMAS: Okay, Logan, we’re ready.

LOGAN: Here we go. I’ll add zeros to the left on the two-digit numbers… [Logan starts entering the code on the keyboard] 010… 035… 150… And now I press Enter…

[Logan presses the button. There’s a long silence]

LOGAN: Nothing happens? Seriously?

DECEIT: [angry and sarcastic] Oh, great, the best news! So, Remus’ plan is to leave us here to starve until we find the right code? What a father of a virgin that Remus is! I’m happy as can be to know that!

THOMAS: In moments like this, I’m glad that you speak in lies when you get nervous, Deceit. Thanks to that, you use the most polite swearwords…

[Suddenly, there’s a sound of a mechanism on the door]

LOGAN: Guys, look! I think the door is opening!

[There’s a screeching noise and the door opens]

THOMAS: [happy] Awesome! You’re so cool, Logan!

[Suddenly, there’s a cracking sound]

THOMAS: [scared] Uh-oh! My tile is going loose!

LOGAN: Oh, no! Guys, you’ve got to jump here!

[Roman jumps first and reaches to the indigo tile with Logan. Then Patton does the jump and, even though he lands on his knees, he also gets there]

DECEIT: It’s too far away for us! Maybe Virgil could make that jump, but not us!

VIRGIL: Hey, don’t think I could perform that kind of jump again! That was done unconsciously, I couldn’t reproduce it again in a million years!

ROMAN: You’ll have to jump to our tiles, which are closer to Logan’s! Hurry, before it’s too late!

[Virgil jumps to Roman’s tile, and Deceit to Patton’s tile. Then they jump to Logan’s tile and get to the door]

THOMAS: [scared] What about me, guys!?

ROMAN: Jump, Thomas!

THOMAS: But I was never good at sports! I’m gonna fall if I try!

ROMAN: You’re gonna fall anyway if you don’t try! Jump, now! Hurry, your tile is shaking! It’s gonna fall!

[Thomas desperately jumps. He lands awkwardly on Virgil’s spot. Just as he does so, the white tile falls into the abyss]

ROMAN: Great! Now, another jump, to my tile! [Deceit’s tile falls down] Come on, do it! Just do it!

[Thomas jumps again, and lands on Roman’s tile. Virgil’s tile falls down right behind him]

ROMAN: You’re almost here, Thomas! [Patton’s tile falls down] You can do it! Jump here, quickly!

[Thomas jumps again to Logan’s tile, just as Roman’s tile falls. He lands right on the edge and loses balance. He’s about to fall but Roman grabs him]

ROMAN: Gotcha! Well done, Thomas!

THOMAS: Thank you, Roman.

[Logan’s tile starts shaking]

ROMAN: Now let’s get out of here before this tile falls down too!

[They cross the door. As soon as they do, the door slams shut and everything goes pitch black]

VIRGIL: [sarcastic] Cool, total darkness again. Not even the Dark Realm was so dark… This is getting monotonous… [silence. Virgil gets concerned] Guys? Guys, are you there? Why aren’t you answering me? [scared, yelling] Guys! Where are you!?

REMUS: [voice] Calm down, emo.

VIRGIL: [startled] GAH! Oh, it’s you… Great. I was calling my friends, not you.

REMUS: Too bad that you only got me this time. You’re friends are not… available for the time being.

VIRGIL: Wait, what? But they were with me a second ago! What have you done to them!?

REMUS: It’s up to you to find out! Behold the third challenge, which is for you. As you can see… or should I say, can’t see, everything’s pitch black. Your friends are in this hall, somewhere, and it’s up to you to find them. You will hear them calling for you, as well as other… voices around. You must distinguish where do your friends’ voices come from and avoid the fake voices, because they are… not very friendly. You’ll win the challenge if you reach to your friends.

VIRGIL: And how do I distinguish them in this darkness!? This isn’t fair!

REMUS: You should stop complaining and start searching, brother-in-law. You only have 25 minutes left, and your brother-in-law needs you.

[Voices start being heard all around Virgil]

VIRGIL: Great, just as I thought. This is impossible. Although Remus said none of the challenges is truly impossible, and so far it’s been so, but… is he trustworthy? Okay, I’ve gotta try, anyway, so… [yelling] Guys? Guys, where are you?

ROMAN: [voice in the distance] Virgil, I’m here! Come to me, my love!

VIRGIL: Roman? Is that you? Wait… how do I know if it’s really you? Okay, Virgil, control yourself, it’s not the time for paran… for that kind of thinking… Concentrate… I think I’ve got an idea. I know that I’m gonna regret to let this personal information out for everyone, but it’s my only chance, so here it goes. Roman, if it really is you… answer to this. What is my biggest fear in this world? I only told this to Roman in our room, in private, so only the real Roman can answer to this. Go ahead, and yell the answer so I can hear you.

ROMAN: Your biggest fear is losing me, of course! What else could it be?

VIRGIL: You’re a fake! That’s not my biggest fear! [to himself] At least not the one I told him…

[another answer is heard from another direction, loud and clear]

ROMAN: Your biggest fear is to end up turning Thomas into a hopeless paranoiac because of your own belief that you fail to control these paranoid thoughts yourself!

VIRGIL: Roman? Is that really you?

ROMAN: And to that I answered, “You are the Side that makes Thomas safe. You would never put Thomas in that situation on purpose, and if you sensed that you could do that, you have the talent of stopping yourself before going too far or even starting in the first place. You don’t have anything to fear.”

VIRGIL: [happy] It really is you!

[Virgil starts running in the direction where the answer came from, ignoring voices coming from other directions, until he bumps into Roman and falls over him]

ROMAN: Ouch! Whoa! Easy, Dark Stampede. I know I’m irresistible, but calm down.

VIRGIL: [chuckles] Shut up, you Disney Dork.

[Virgil kisses Roman. Then, the fake voices fade away and light returns to the room, revealing it is a huge, completely empty hall. The rest of the gang is there next to Virgil and Roman. They get up. Virgil looks awkwardly at Thomas]

VIRGIL: Okay… So now you all know why I’ve always hated being called a paranoiac. You can start calling me stupid all the time you like.

[Thomas hugs Virgil, and the Sides join in a group hug]

THOMAS: Virgil, I would never, ever call you stupid. On the contrary, I’m so, so proud of you. You had the courage to overcome your fears to save us, and I cannot thank you enough. And if it serves to calm you, I agree with Roman on everything. I know you’d do everything you can to avoid that happening to me, and I trust you. You don’t need to be afraid of that.

VIRGIL: Thank you, Thomas. That’s really comforting to hear.

DECEIT: Thank goodness this challenge was solved quickly. For some reason, our feet got frozen and we couldn’t move. And it’s the most pleasant feeling in the world, if you ask me.

PATTON: Yeah, when we crossed the door, it’s like some mysterious force pulled us away from you and placed us here, stuck, unable to speak at first while Remus was explaining the challenge to you. It’s so great to be able to move again.

[light flickers off then goes on after a couple of seconds]

ROMAN: Wow… faulty lights. Did Remus pay his bills?

REMUS: [his voice is heard] Did you guys know that “dork” means “whale penis”. Virgil called Roman a “whale penis”, is what I’m saying.

THOMAS: [sighs] I don’t think I needed to know that information…

REMUS: Okay, congratulations, Virgil. You’ve completed this challenge pretty fast. It only took you three minutes, so you’ve got 22 minutes left. And little you know that… just right now, you are already immerse in the fourth challenge.

VIRGIL: What? What does that mean?

REMUS: Well, it means that there’s an impostor among you. One of you is still trapped somewhere in this room and I replaced him by a doppelganger, who is sitting between you acting as if he was your friend.

VIRGIL: I don’t believe you!

REMUS: Did you notice the light going off and on? Two seconds is all the time I needed to replace one of you with the doppelganger. You can believe or not, I don’t care, but if you don’t discover who he is, you know what fate awaits to your precious Prince Guy. Oh, I almost forgot, this challenge is for you, Deceit. You pride yourself as a living lie detector. Let’s see if you are as good at discovering liars as you think you are, shall we?

DECEIT: Great, so now it’s up to me to find a culprit. And how do I do that?

VIRGIL: Well, I’m certainly not the culprit.

ROMAN: Me neither.

LOGAN: Me neither.

PATTON: Me neither.

THOMAS: Me neither.

DECEIT: So, no one is the culprit, right? [sarcastic] That’s surprising. Well, one of you is certainly lying. Who is it?

HONESTY: Just in case, I’m inside of you, so I’m not the culprit either.

DECEIT: Yes, Hon, you’re the only one we can discard from the start, don’t worry… Speaking about that… [points at an empty spot and Honesty materializes] I wouldn’t mind if I had you as my Watson in this case, Honesty.

HONESTY: I’d be honored.

PATTON: Hmm… this sound familiar…

LOGAN: Of course it does, Patton. You and I played Sherlock and Watson when we were searching for the culprit for Thomas’ procra…

ROMAN: Okay, okay, Logan, it’s not the time to wander down Memory Lane. There’s not much time.

LOGAN: Sorry.

DECEIT: Certainly, whoever the culprit is, he’s a really good actor. How could we find out who he is…? Let’s see… Maybe we can use the method Virgil used to locate Roman in the dark. Remus has clearly been spying on us for a long time, so only things that we have told each other in private could be used to find the culprit… Now I wish I had been closer to you, guys, but Watson… I mean, Honesty can help me on that matter, since he’s known you for so long… Okay, Honesty, you’ll make questions to the Sides, about things you’ve talked about in private, things that only Honesty and the Side in question could know.

HONESTY: Okay… let’s start with Roman.

ROMAN: Fine! At last I’m the first to be called on an interview… I mean… yes, I’m ready.

HONESTY: What were your sensations about that show Thomas did on stage? Remember? The one from the Scottish Play curse?

ROMAN: Oh, goodness… what a throwback… Well, certainly that cursed the show, at least for Thomas. I mean, slipping right on stage and fall on your butt in front of the audience… Not only Thomas’ posterior got bruised, I got quite bruised myself. I never wanted to tell Thomas so as not to pull him down, but that’s what I felt.

THOMAS: Oh, Roman, I’m so sorry to hear that. I had no idea!

HONESTY: Okay, Deceit, the test has been done with Roman. He’s…

DECEIT: Wait, Honesty, don’t say it yet, I want to check all the data together before making my mind up about who’s the culprit…

HONESTY: Okay, as you wish, Deceit.

DECEIT: Now let’s go on with the next one.

HONESTY: Yes… let’s go on with Logan.

LOGAN: Answering questions is what I live for. I’m ready.

HONESTY: Logan, there was this book you told me about…

LOGAN: [screeching] BOOK!?

VIRGIL: [startled] GAH! Gosh… you had to do that here too, Logan?

LOGAN: [clears throat] Apologies. Go ahead, Honesty.

HONESTY: [beat] …A book you couldn’t stop reading, but you told me that the end ruined it for you. What book was that?

LOGAN: Aahh… you mean the mystery thriller “Doorsteps Ahead” by the renowned Srednas Samoht. Yes, I was loving that book, until the end ruined it for me. It was when it was discovered that the murderer was…

THOMAS: Logan, please! If you like that book, I’d like to read it too, don’t spoil it!

LOGAN: …okay, I won’t say who it was, I’ll just say that it was quite unrealistic how they suddenly mentioned their identity out of nowhere with no previous context or build up. That’s all.

HONESTY: Good. Deecey, did you find that useful for your investigation?

DECEIT: Yes, quite a lot, actually.

HONESTY: Let’s go on with Patton.

PATTON: Okay, kiddo.

HONESTY: I want you to tell me what was the first dad joke you ever told me when we met.

PATTON: Oof, I’ve told a lot of dad jokes.

HONESTY: However, you know this one, because it has been a private joke of us that we don’t share with others.

PATTON: Oh, that one. Yes. Okay, it’s not one of my best, but here it goes. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

[All the Sides but Thomas and Logan laugh]

LOGAN: [grunts, then talking to himself] It’s for scientific purposes… it’s for scientific purposes… Contain the urge of strangling him… [noticing the others watching him] Did I say that outloud?

THOMAS: I don’t get it.

PATTON: Okay, sorry, Thomas. That one was from years ago, and I still had a lot to improve in my punnery.

HONESTY: I always found it funny, Patton, don’t worry. Okay, the test is finished with Patton.

DECEIT: Cool. Now, I’ll be the one interrogating Virgil, if you don’t mind. I’m the most suited as I’ve known him longer than you.

HONESTY: I share all your memories with you, so I know everything that you know, and by the way, you also know everything that I know, so you could have done all the questions yourself anyway. But, whatever, you’re in charge of the challenge. Suit yourself.

DECEIT: Thank you… Okay, Virgil. Remember when we first met in the Dark Realm?

VIRGIL: Of course I do.

DECEIT: What was the first thing you told me and the first thing I told you?

VIRGIL: The first thing you told me was “Nice whiskers”, and I answered back with “Nice scales”. Then I told you my name and you told me your name, it was…

DECEIT: [nervous] It’s okay, Virgil. You don’t have to say that.

VIRGIL: Oh, okay…

THOMAS: Why not? Virgil, tell us Deceit’s name! I wanna know it!

VIRGIL: Sorry, Thomas. Deceit must tell his name whenever he’s ready to share it with us, just like me.

THOMAS: Oh, bugger!

DECEIT: Okay. With this, I leave this interrogatory as concluded. And I can tell with conviction that I know who the culprit is.

THOMAS: Wait, you’re not gonna ask me any questions?

DECEIT: It won’t be necessary, Thomas. I have already detected who among all of us is the impostor.

ROMAN: Well, who is it?

DECEIT: The impostor…

[dramatic pause, after a couple of seconds, he points at the culprit]

DECEIT: ...is you! “Thomas”!

THOMAS: Wait, what? Me? Are you kidding me? That’s not true!

DECEIT: I know you’re lying. What have you done with the real Thomas?

THOMAS: [suddenly switches to a cold, angry voice] F… [bleep] ! But you didn’t even ask me anything! How did you guess?

DECEIT: Simple. When Roman was talking about his feelings regarding to the work, he mentioned he got bruised. And you had no idea? The first one to feel Roman’s bruising would have been you. You would have known even before Roman himself, because you would have felt your ego crushed.

ROMAN: That’s right.

DECEIT: Then, you didn’t get Patton’s dad joke. Come on, Thomas is renowned online as “the Prince of Dad Jokes”. He would never fail to get a joke as simple and old as that one. Sorry Patton.

PATTON: It’s okay, kiddo. I know that’s an old one, that’s why I never use it anymore.

DECEIT: Then, there’s Logan. He talked about a book he read. And when he was on the verge of spoiling the ending, it was you who told him you hadn’t read it. Don’t you see that Logan is your acquired knowledge? If he says he’s read something, it’s because you’ve read it in the first place, so that it becomes part of your acquired knowledge and therefore part of Logan. The real Thomas would have known the book at the same time Logan did.

LOGAN: That is… accurate.

DECEIT: And last but not least, the stuff about Virgil and me, and that’s the loudest alarm. You didn’t care at all about about my reluctance over sharing my name. Thomas would have respected my wishes and not pushed me into revealing something I’m not comfortable to reveal. We saw it earlier outside with Roman.

VIRGIL: Quite true.

DECEIT: In short, you’ve got a lot to learn about impersonating others, whoever you are, even though I’m almost positive that you must be Remus, am I right?

[the fake Thomas shapeshifts into Remus]

REMUS: Yes, you’re right. Okay, challenge completed.

DECEIT: The best part is that for the first time I felt like being a part of a Scooby Doo episode unmasking a real Scooby Doo villain… Now, answer to my question. Where is Thomas and what have you done to him?

REMUS: Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay. If you want to get Thomas back, just follow the green brick road.

PATTON: What green brick road?

ROMAN: [pointing to the floor] That green brick road.

[They all look to the floor and there’s a path made of green bricks that wasn’t there before. When they look at Remus, he’s gone.]

REMUS: [voice] By the way, you only have 10 minutes left. I’ll be waiting at the end of the brick road for your final challenge, Roman. If you have what it takes to face me. Hurry up. This hall is bigger than you think.

ROMAN: I do, Remus. You’ll regret what you’ve done! Okay guys, we must hurry!

[The Sides start running through the path. They run and run, until, after minutes running, they reach the end of the hall. There, next to a door, they find Thomas. He’s chained to the wall]

THOMAS: Guys! Thank God you’re okay!

ROMAN: Thank God we are okay? No, sir, thank God you are okay! Hold on, I’ll open these chains, with one of my always-handy bobby-pins…

[Roman takes one bobby-pin off his hair and uses it to force the lock on the chains. Soon, Thomas is free]

THOMAS: Oh… thank you, Roman. It feels good being able to move my arms again. I was starting to get cramps. What happened?

ROMAN: It’s long to tell, but while you were gone, we’ve passed two challenges already. Now there’s only one challenge left, my challenge. Remus must be behind this door.

THOMAS: Then let’s not waste any more time, let’s go.

[Roman opens the door. There are stairs behind the door. They walk up the stairs until they get to a throne room. The Prince Guy is there, inside a cage hanging from a chain]

PRINCE GUY: Roman! You shouldn’t have come here!

ROMAN: Are you okay, brother? Did he hurt you?

PRINCE GUY: I’m fine… but I have the weirdest sensation now…

ROMAN: What? What does that mean?

REMUS: It means that you only have 3 minutes left to complete your challenge, Roman. Do you see that sand clock over there? It’s almost over. When the last grain of sand falls, your precious fake brother will disappear.

PRINCE GUY: Fake brother? Roman, what is he talking about?

ROMAN: Don’t listen to him. You are my brother, the only brother I have!

REMUS: [angry] That’s bulls… [bleep] ! You should tell him the truth, he deserves to know it before he’s gone! I am your brother, and you created him with your Creativity powers to supplant me!

PRINCE GUY: What!?

ROMAN: Shut up! Remus! You’re not my…! [he stops mid-sentence]

REMUS: [yelling angry] Brother! I’m your brother! Why don’t you ever want to call me like that, not even to deny that you are!?

ROMAN: Because I don’t feel you like that! Go ahead with your stupid challenge and let me go home with my brother now!

REMUS: [tranquil fury] And then it’s me who they call a monster… How would you describe someone who rejects his own blood because of his own ideas about good creativity and bad creativity? Fine, if you want to see me as a monster, I’ll be the monster you expect me to be. [pulls out a mace] Here’s the final challenge, Roman. You must defeat me in a one vs. one duel. If you kill me before time runs out, your precious doddle will be free.

ROMAN: I can’t do that and you know it! If I killed you I’d be killing myself too, and if that happened, everything I have created, the whole of Sandersia, would disappear, including my brother!

REMUS: Do you expect me to care about that? You said it yourself. The challenge was rigged anyway. Now fight!

ROMAN: [pulling out his sword] But if you kill me, you’d be killed too! Whatever it happens, we’ll both lose!

REMUS: I don’t care about that either! Fight or perish!

[Remus attacks Roman. He blocks the attack with his sword. Roman waves his sword several times to make him retreat. Then Remus attacks again, from the right, then from the left. Roman evades some attacks and blocks others]

REMUS: You’re just playing defense here! Why don’t you attack me already!? Come on! Fight me! Or are you too afraid to face me!?

ROMAN: I’m not afraid of you! I just don’t want to kill you!

REMUS: Too bad for you, then, because I do want to kill you! Now fight!

[Remus starts attacking with heightened fury. Roman finds increasingly difficult to block the attacks]

REMUS: You won’t last for long this way, brother. And you already know who’s gonna suffer the consequences! You only have 1 minute left! So say good-bye to your precious Prince Guy!

PRINCE GUY: Roman! Be careful!

[Thomas and the Sides watch the scene from the stairs]

THOMAS: What are we going to do? This is a dead end. Whatever Roman chooses to do, he’s gonna lose, anyway!

LOGAN: There has to be something we can do.

VIRGIL: Maybe we should join the fight.

ROMAN: [looking back at the Sides] Stay out of this, all of you! This is something between Remus and me!

PRINCE GUY: Roman, watch your back!

[Remus hits Roman in the head with his mace, Roman gets dizzy for a couple of seconds, then falls down unconscious.]

VIRGIL: [horrified yelling] ROMAN!

[Thomas and the Sides run to check on him]

REMUS: Haha! I win!

PATTON: [over the top screeching] You killed him!

REMUS: Nah, I did not. Or else I wouldn’t be here either. Now let’s watch together how the last grains from the sand clock fall down, and with them the last seconds on the Prince Guy’s life… 10… 9… 8… 7… [the Prince Guy starts feeling weak] 6… 5… 4…

THOMAS: Please… it can’t end like this!

REMUS: 3… 2… 1… Ouch!

[The last grain on the sand clock gets stuck on the higher part. Remus falls, sitting down on the floor]

THOMAS: Wait… what? What’s happened?

REMUS: Aw! My neck! What is going on!?

[sound of jingle bells is heard and when Remus turns around, a green Sprite is seen on the back of his neck]

THOMAS: A Sanders Sprite?

PATTON: [happy face] It has to be him. It has!

VIRGIL: Is that you, Ira?

IRA: [suddenly speaking through Remus’ body] Of course it’s me. Are you guys okay? I came here as soon as I found out what happened!

REMUS: What? This isn’t fair!

THOMAS: Sorry, Remus, but you said there were no rules and we could do anything we wanted.

REMUS: But you’ve lost the last challenge!

THOMAS: You used foul play anyway! You attacked Roman from behind and didn’t have any intention of releasing the Prince Guy anyway! The challenge is not valid at all!

[Roman starts waking up]

ROMAN: Ugh… my head…

VIRGIL: Roman, are you all right?

ROMAN: More or less… [looks at the almost empty clock] Oh, no! How long have I been knocked out!? Did my brother…?

THOMAS: Don’t worry, the Prince Guy is okay.

PRINCE GUY: I’m fine, Roman.

THOMAS: Now, release the Prince Guy, Remus.

REMUS: Never!

IRA: [through Remus’ body] Release him now, or I swear I’ll take control of your body and never set you free!

ROMAN: Ira? Is that you?

IRA: Yes… I’m glad I can take this chance to see you too. I wish it was under better circumstances… Now, Remus! Release him! Now!

REMUS: Okay, fine… [snaps his fingers] The Prince Guy is free.

[the sand clock disappears and so does the cage. The Prince Guy falls down to the floor, then he gets up and runs to Roman]

PRINCE GUY: Roman, are you okay?

ROMAN: I’m still in pain, but at least I’m relieved now. Are you okay?

PRINCE GUY: Yes, I’m fine. Thank you so much, Roman. And I thank all of you too. You took a great risk for me and I’ll always remember it.

ROMAN: [looking at his brother with a loving smile] I’m so happy.

[Remus looks at Roman’s face of love towards the Prince Guy, and shows a sad face]

REMUS: Why did you never show that love for me, Roman? Why do you hate me, brother?

ROMAN: [looking angrily at Remus] After all you’ve just done, you have the guts to make that question?

REMUS: This has nothing to do with today! It has been this way from the beginning! What did I even do to you so that you dropped me here? You hated me ever since I was one with you!

THOMAS: One with him?

ROMAN: [sighs] Yes… In the beginning, Remus and I were the same being… the same single Side of Creativity… until, when you were 10, you started entering into prepuberty. New stuff started then coming from me and you started rejecting some of the products of what I made… It disturbed and distressed you so much that you seriously considerated stopping creating anything at all. I couldn’t let that happen, so I started rejecting that part of myself, trying to repress it. So much so that I ended up physically expelling it from me, and that’s when Remus was born. He called me brother from the very first moment. He seemed to love me, to the point of idolizing me, but I was so horrified of him and what he started doing that… I decided to take care of him. But I couldn’t dispatch him. Not only because we were physically connected, for better or worse, and if something happened to him, the same would happen to me. There was also something inside of me that simply didn’t let me do such a horrible thing. So I sent him to this island, as far away as I could. He certainly begged, he cried, he yelled at me, but I just jumped on my ship and left him there. I had hoped that Remus would never be able to get back. I still don’t understand how you could return, Remus.

REMUS: When I grew up I got strong enough to summon big stuff like a ship, but I didn’t know in which direction to sail, I feared I could get lost in the sea if I tried to sail without directions, so I never tried it. I would have stayed here forever if, one day, I hadn’t suddenly felt a huge source of pain and angst coming from you, which told me exactly where you were. Like a beacon light, I followed that trace on my ship until I got to the shore. Then, on land, I followed the trace until I got to your room. And there I saw you. You had been bitten by a red Sprite. I stayed there hiding and I saw everything.

ROMAN: So that’s what happened. That’s when Laziness bit me a few months ago.

REMUS: I’ve been watching you all the time ever since. Getting to know you and your friends, planning everything I did. I wanted to make you pay for all the years you made me stay on this island all alone.

ROMAN: I guess you had some fair motivation in what you felt, but I did it all for Thomas. As soon as you got split from me, you started messing all around the Mind Palace. Messing around with my Dream Factory, creating the most horrible intrusive thoughts, and trying to let them loose on his imagination. It was just the beginning of Thomas’ adolescence, he was in a critical part of his development and you were wreaking havoc on his mind. I couldn’t let you do that, so I had to do something, and I did it. And yet, even though you were so far away from Thomas, you still had an influence over him, because he kept having these intrusive thoughts inspired by you. What I did had been useless. But I never had the strength to bring you back. I was too afraid of you, despite the regret I ultimately felt about what I did.

REMUS: …regret?

ROMAN: Yes. Regret. Because even though I was so horrified of you, and I hated everything you did and everything you made Thomas think and create… even so, you were still a part of me. And still, I knew that, no matter how hard I tried to deny it… [his voice breaks] you still were my brother and… somewhere deep down in my heart… I still loved you.

REMUS: [impersonating the viral video, crying, he hugs Roman] WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[then there’s a brown flash around them. Ira’s Sprite gets expelled from Remus and the brown light gets brighter. For a second, in the middle of the light, Thomas thinks he sees a majestic man, dressed in a navy blue suit with a golden crown and a brown sash, showing a determined but at the same time ferocious gesture. The vision, which both attracts and terrifies Thomas at the same time, only lasts for a fraction of second, then disappears in the brown light, which then disappears. Roman and Remus are still there, and Roman pushes Remus away from him]

ROMAN: Back off! Don’t touch me!

REMUS: Why?

ROMAN: Don’t you see we can’t be together? It’s impossible. Forget about it!

REMUS: [angry, with tears in his eyes] I won’t! I won’t let you forget about it anymore! As long as I’m away from you, I’ll be your worst nightmare. And Thomas’ too!

THOMAS: Whoa, why me?

REMUS: Because this is all your fault, Thomas! He wouldn’t have wanted to get rid of me if it wasn’t for you! [looking at the other Sides] For all of you! Now you’ve defeated me, but I’ll be back, and the next time, you won’t be able to stop me!

[Remus disappears]

ROMAN: [getting up with the help of Virgil and the Prince Guy] And he’s very serious about it… We’ll better watch out from here on out.

PRINCE GUY: Roman… Is it true what Remus told about me? Am I just… a product from you? Am I not really your brother?

ROMAN: It’s true that you are a product of me… but it is not true that you’re not my brother! You are my brother, never ever doubt it.

PRINCE GUY: …but only in Sandersia. Now, you’ll get out of here back to where you belong, and out there… I’m nothing but a silly character in your stories…

[Roman sighs]

VIRGIL: Does it really matter, though?

PRINCE GUY: Yes, it does! Because I don’t know who I am anymore! Do I really love Roman because I chose to do so? Or do I love him because he created me with that idea in my mind, unable to escape from it?

THOMAS: Princey… I hope you don’t mind that I call him Princey too, Roman… Or Princey-2. There’s one thing I know about Roman. When he creates his characters, he sets them free in this world, to do whatever they want, on their own free will to write their own stories themselves and let us be witnesses of them. He chose not to meddle in your lives, and he doesn’t tell you what to do or what to think. Believe me when I say that, if you love Roman now, that love is very real, just as real as the love that Roman feels for you.

ROMAN: That’s true, brother. As I once said to Thomas, I may dress in white, but I’m not White Diamond. But I’ll understand if you don’t wanna know from me anymore… I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want…

PRINCE GUY: Are you kidding? Don’t you dare getting out of my life ever again, Roman! Didn’t you listen? I love you, brother!

[the Prince Guy hugs Roman and Roman hugs him back]

ROMAN: And I love you too…

LOGAN: I suddenly thought about something…

THOMAS: What is it, Logan?

LOGAN: The Prince Guy will never be completely safe while Remus is on the loose. He has the power of erasing characters from Sandersia, just like Roman.

[Ira’s Sprite enters into Honesty’s hologram]

HONESTY: Guys, Ira is telling me something… He’s telling me that he will protect the Prince Guy. If Remus ever tries to touch him again, he’ll be guarding him and he’ll bite him again, should that happen.

ROMAN: Thank you so much, Ira. Even after death, you’re still helping us… [his face suddenly lights up] Oh… I suddenly had a great idea!

THOMAS: An idea? What is it?

ROMAN: We are in Sandersia, right? And Ira is in Sandersia too.

THOMAS: Yes, that’s not news for us, you know?

ROMAN: Ira, would you mind getting out of Honesty, please?

[Ira’s Sprite gets out of Honesty]

ROMAN: Now, it’s time for a little bit of magic…

[Roman shakes his hands, green sparkles come out of his fingers and fly to Ira’s Sprite. When they touch him, the Sprite starts growing. It grows and grows until it has human size. Then it disappears, and Ira is there in the flesh]

IRA: Wait, what? What has happened?

ROMAN: I am the creator of characters. I just created a body for you to use. You can’t get out of Sandersia in that form, but it will serve you well here.

IRA: So… As long as I’m in Sandersia, I’m alive again?

[Roman nods]

THOMAS: Roman, this time you’ve outdone yourself! You’re a genius!

ROMAN: I know.

LOGAN: Yes, quite a genius, but a little slow, right? It took you a month and half to think about this.

ROMAN: I know! Wait… what?

IRA: [hugging Roman] Thank you, Roman, thank you!

ROMAN: You’re welcome little bear. You’re welcome.

PRINCE GUY: It will be my honor that you live in the royal palace as my personal guard, Ira.

IRA: And it will be my honor to serve you, my lord. I won’t let Remus approach you ever again.

ROMAN: You can change between Sprite and human form whenever you need it. In Sprite form, you can get out of Sandersia, should you ever need to call us for any reason.

IRA: Got it.

ROMAN: Well, with that settled, let’s go home, shall we?

THOMAS: Yes, I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. However, how are we going to get out of this castle? We can’t follow the same path where we came from, remember that a whole section fell down, and there could still be loose traps here and there.

IRA: It’s okay, Thomas. When I was coming in as a Sprite, I saw a door over there in that wall, that leads straight to the front door.

THOMAS: That’s good to know. Okay, guys, let’s get out of here.

[Ira pushes a rock on the wall and the secret door opens. The gang goes through a passage that ends on a door that leads to the outside. Then, they go to the ship and sail away from the island. In a matter of minutes, the ship gets back to Sandersia’s shore, and they jump in the royal carriage which takes them to the door to Roman’s room]

PRINCE GUY: Well, this is goodbye, for now.

IRA: It is. I’m gonna miss our conversations in the living room, that’s the only bad part of not being able to get out of Sandersia and speak at the same time. But I hope that you come here and visit us often.

ROMAN: You bet we will, Ira.

PRINCE GUY: Roman…

ROMAN: Yes?

PRINCE GUY: Thank you again. I was shocked earlier, but when I calmed down, I suddenly realized something.

ROMAN: What is it?

PRINCE GUY: It really doesn’t matter if you created me or not. Inside of Sandersia, you are my brother, and outside of Sandersia, you are my father, because I was born from you. So in or out, you are still my family, and I will love you the same, no matter what.

ROMAN: Not as much as I love you, my dear brother.

VIRGIL: And I’m honored to have you as my brother-in-law, Princey-2.

PRINCE GUY: The honor is all mine, Virgil.

THOMAS: Okay. Let’s go.

ROMAN: Goodbye, brother. Goodbye, Ira. See you soon.

IRA: Goodbye, guys. Until we meet again.

[The Sides and Thomas cross the door and return to Roman’s room. From there, they sink down and rise up in the living room]

THOMAS: Home sweet home.

ROMAN: I’m really sorry I made you go through all of that, guys.

THOMAS: It’s okay, Roman. That’s what friends are for and we would have never left you on this one.

ROMAN: Okay, I think I need a rest. Bye, guys. Virgil, are you coming?

VIRGIL: Yes, Roman. I’m coming right behind you.

ROMAN: [sinking down, with a mischievous smile] That’s what he said…

VIRGIL: [chuckles, then sinks down] You’re a dork, but that’s why I love you, I guess.

PATTON: All’s well that ends well, kiddos. Okay, I think I’m gonna make myself some cookies. [sinking down] I’m hungry after all we’ve been through.

DECEIT: And I’m gonna get myself some tea. I don’t like it very much myself, but Honesty loves it, and since we share the same body, we need to make some sacrifices to get a peaceful coexistence.

HONESTY: [from Deceit’s body] You’re making it sound as if we were bickering all the time like an old couple.

DECEIT: [giggles, then sinks down] Bye, Thomas.

LOGAN: I’m still a bit worried about all of this about Remus.

THOMAS: Me too. When Remus hugged Roman earlier, I saw the strangest thing. Did you see the brown light around them?

LOGAN: Yes.

THOMAS: Did you see the strange man I saw? It looked like me, but he wasn’t any Side I knew.

LOGAN: Who knows, Thomas. Maybe when they hugged, for a second they joined back like they were before they split up, and that’s what you saw.

THOMAS: I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe you’re right, Logan.

LOGAN: Okay, if you don’t need me anymore, I’ll go to my room. I have some books to check out.

THOMAS: And of course, the fact that you got a whole truck load of Crofter’s lately is entirely unrelated, right?

LOGAN: Who told you that?

THOMAS: My lips are sealed, Logan. As they say in Spanish, you can reveal the sin, but not the sinner.

LOGAN: How do you know Spanish?

THOMAS: I don’t, but I was checking foreign idioms in different languages the other day on the internet, and I found that one quite curious.

LOGAN: I guess that means we’re studying idioms again soon. [sinking down] See ya, Thomas.

THOMAS: Bye, Logan. [to the viewers] Well, it’s been quite an adventure today. I’m glad that we got to help Roman in his quest. And we got to know Remus too. Creativity is quite complex, don’t you think? We can do the best and the worst things with it. But as long as we remember they’re fiction and they stay in fiction, we shouldn’t feel bad about them. It’s readers who should judge what they like and what they don’t. We can’t read the readers’ mind all the time, so we just have to stick to express ourselves in our creations… as long as they don’t promote things that are universally wrong or hurtful for yourself or others, of course, but I think that should be a given in all aspects of our life, not only creativity. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[end card]

[Thomas, Joan and Talyn are at the beach]

JOAN: Aren’t you coming to the water, Thomas?

THOMAS: No, not now, Joan… I am exhausted and full of muscle sores everywhere.

JOAN: We could have canceled the trip if you were like this, Thomas.

THOMAS: [sleepy] No, Joan. It’s the only free weekend we had, and I wasn’t going to let you miss this mini-vacation you truly deserve.

TALYN: Can you explain me again why are you like this?

THOMAS: I told you, we were helping Roman save his brother. And it was quite an adventure, but exhausting. [yawns, sleepy] And long.

JOAN: Yes, I bet it was. Do you wanna help us make a sand castle, Thomas?

THOMAS: [triggered, but still sleepy] Castle? No, no, thank you, I’ve had enough castles for quite a while…

JOAN: [sighs] Then, I shouldn’t even mention about playing Super Mario on the 3DS, right? Too many… princesses in another castle.

TALYN: Joan, I think you should leave him alone right now. Look, he’s dozed off. He’s really exhausted.

JOAN: Yeah, I think his mind is “in another castle” right now.

THOMAS: [in dreams] …no mommy, I don’t want the mashed potatoes…

JOAN: … literally…

[ride-run-sleep-repeat]

Well, we went back to GODZone like the gluttons we are.

  We had bright eyed and bushy tailed Jackson to complete our team this year and after our concerns that he was going to wreck himself by running 250km around New Zealand before we got there faded (how he does what he does and doesn’t drink coffee is beyond me). We settled in for a couple days of peace and action movie watching before the race (Die Hard 4 2007, All is Lost 2013, Hannibal 2001, Interstellar 2014, Black Hawk Down 2001, … ). We are equally intense with our movie watching as we are with our endurance sports. 

Sunday leg 1: multisport prologue ft. coasteering

The race was a little different this year, well, a LOT different, but day one was the Prologue race, which wasn’t really my cup of tea (not long and suffery enough) but still lots of fun. We set off coasteering around the Akaroa headland with a few swims, then a short sufferfest mountain biking up and over a big hill where Tom bribed me with lollies by literally dangling them in front of me to make me go up the hill faster (it worked).  Then there was a packraft across the lake to the final leg at the Christchurch Adventure Park where we ran into Craig, a fellow Canberran out for a Rogaine. Small world! We got to the end and had a 30 minute mandatory wait for our maps so we set up the tent, changed into warm things and went to suss food options.

Monday leg 2: packraft/trek/caving

After a less than ideal sleep because of excitement, our alarm went off at 1am to pack up and at 1:40am we hopped on the bus to take us 2 hours away to the start of Leg 2 – the 73 km Trek/Packraft and Caving. As with a lot of the teams around us, the first CP was pretty difficult to hit with 1:50,000 maps and a bit of complacency but after bush bashing for a little while and then reconnecting with the surrounding teams, we finally hit the CP and headed off to Binser Saddle, a roughly 700 metre vertical elevation gain and the first and only climb in this leg. It was at this point we got “stuck” behind a few slower teams (which I didn’t mind at all) as the trail was quite narrow. After some teams stopped for rests and poo’s we managed to get ahead of the slower guys and descend towards the river.

I was going to say that there wasn’t much to report after that but actually after paddling for an hour or so I noticed two safety guys on the other side of the river and saw we were approaching the first (and only) rapid. It was all looking fine until Paul and I hit a rock right at the top and I went flying out of the packraft –  headfirst. The current was pretty strong and after knocking my knees on a few rocks I was finally able to orientate myself so my feet were going down the river first (thank you swift water rescue training!). It was at this stage I realised I had dropped my paddle and saw it floating just ahead of me, so after grabbing it I swam into an eddy, gave the “I’m okay” signal to the safety guys. (Although I was a bit shaky I have to say!) It was at this point I realised that I had only grabbed half my paddle and it wasn’t until Paul pulled up with the packraft and the other half that I realised it had snapped. Shit. We pulled up on the other side of the river where Tom and Jackson were waiting and thought about our options. Of course we hadn’t packed a spare paddle either. We ended up making a mini paddle with the one good bit of shaft and wondered if maybe we could borrow a spare paddle from one of the other teams at transition. Paul ended up using the mini paddle which hilariously made him look like more of a giant.

After that it was smooth sailing until Tom and Jackson hit an eddy line in their bathtub (aka waterlogged packraft) and tipped out. They got back in and all was well until Tom realised that he’d dropped the map… and that we hadn’t brought the spare. Cue our saviours, the super lovely and wonderful all girls team #39 – On The Rag. They’d passed us when we were discussing the broken paddle and as we caught up to them told Paul and I that we could borrow their spare paddle. Legends! Capitalising on their generosity, I then pushed my luck and told them that the boys had actually just lost our only map and if they had a spare we would be eternally grateful. They said they would have to speak to their teammates (the two Holly’s) and confirm and when we caught up to Tom and Jackson, map in hand, they had said that they would like payment in beer, which the boys were totally on board with.

As it got dark we reached the caving section and having flashbacks to last year, we weren’t super stoked. Until we got in there. Wow. Paul is claiming it is the best cave he’s ever been in. Instead of the slippery walls we were expecting, they were perfectly grippy. So all of us had fun trying to avoid the water to practice our climbing moves. After that it was a longer walk than expected to the TA where we got on our bikes and started Leg 3, the 160km mountain bike called Cookie Time for definitely no other reason other than to be very misleading as no delicious cookie times ever appeared (whoops we already ate them on leg 1, also there was a tin shed called Cookie’s Hut).

Tuesday leg 3: Cookie Time massive MTB

This was a pretty cool leg I have to say. We hadn’t slept since night one (if you can call it a sleep) so we after making it through the night with a team NoDoz break we rode through the mountains to a great piece of technical single track near a hut. From there we rode over rocky river beds (much to Jackson’s displeasure) to what we are calling Poor Man’s Percy’s Pass. Between this race and last, I’d managed to forget how to carry my bike on my back and so I watched the boys power up the scrambly bit of the hike-a-bike as I dragged, pulled and panted my way sloooowly up the climb. I may have had a hissy fit half way up and tried to send telepathic signals to any of the boys to come rescue me, but ultimately I knew that they were going to let me experience (aka suffer) it by myself. I knew that although I was suffering, I’d be disappointed if I had help (something I’m grateful my teammates understand). Besides, getting to the top felt amazing and I was only a little jealous that they had had time to take their shoes off and bask in the sunlight.

There were a few major climbs to get out after that but the views were just so stunning, it didn’t matter that I couldn’t put enough oxygen into my lungs. And soon enough we were descending into the flatlands where we time trialed on the backstreets and road until we got to a cafe! What a delectable sight! We smashed both a giant thick shake and coffee which was good timing as after we got back onto our bikes, it was a longer ride than expected to the next TA.  5 Kilometres feels like forever when your feet are absolutely aching.

Tues/Weds/Thurs leg 4: 85 km Trek lakes + mountains.

In the words of the organisers –

“This stage is BIG! At 85 km it is the longest single stage trek ever at a GODZone Chapter.”

The second half sure felt like it but the first half was going to be a challenge too. Luckily we started off with a bit of daylight still on our side. Once again the tricksy 1:50,000 maps left the boys a bit confused as the contour lines were saying one thing, but the hills were saying another. We managed to bag CP 15 with limited problems as the sun set over the mountain range and made our way up to Mystic Lake to get a few hours sleep before the pre-dawn trail trudge over to the hut for CP16.

From here, there were a lot of route choices to get to CP 17 and none of them looked great. We decided the best route was to climb up a 2000 metre mountain. The climb up was definitely one of my highlights. Just as you thought you were at the top, another ridge would appear and eventually we got to the top of the ridgeline where we were weaving along pretty precarious rocks. We had to put our poles away at this stage to utilise all climbing limbs. We could and possibly should have continued on the ridgeline but decided to descend early as Paul thought it might be a bit dangerous, and if Paul thinks something is dangerous, it probably is. 

The views were incredible and the promise of scree running to get down made us all pretty excited (especially Jackson). The problem with scree covered mountains though is what looks like scree at lake level was actually bigger slightly loose rocks that we had to navigate without twisting an ankle. The descent started off pretty fun but soon felt longer and longer as my knees started to protest.

After following steep fence line put up by some insane farmer we eventually (after some butt sliding) got down to the CP17 and were relieved when we realised there was a track all the way from the CP to the road. A road which kept going for what seemed like forever. I’m going to be honest, this part sucked and I was in a pretty dark space knowing we weren’t even really half way. Tom had said at the beginning to think of the leg like 3 big challenges and we were only at the end of the first.

We finally got to the campground where we were told that we might have a course change due to the weather. Basically, the fastest teams were doing the second half of the trek in 17 hours which meant that even if we had gone the same speed as them (highly unlikely), we would miss the cut off for the packraft and that would suck. So we set up camp and waited for the race director to come back with some news. Meanwhile, a lovely lady (Fizz) came out of her campervan and offered us drinks, fresh pineapple and an assortment of snacks  (that were actually for the team she was waiting for) AND hot water for our back countries. It was luxurious.

News finally came that they were printing maps for us to do a lower traverse, missing CP 18 and 19, that would cut out the possibility of being stuck on top of a mountain in bad weather. There was a 2 hour wait, so we scoffed more food and had a nap. Team Tiger had also come in and were waiting. After handing our maps over Warren dangled a delicious butter chicken in front of us and placed it ever so carefully down between us and Tiger claiming that he was no longer in need of food. We looked at Tiger and down at the curry and back up at Tiger. They hadn’t moved. This was our moment. Tom, Jackson, Paul and I pulled out our spoons simultaneously and pounced on the free delicious (and still warm) curry. Spooning larger than needed portions into our mouths like the heathens we are, we stopped mid-mouthful to ask Tiger if they would like any. The look of disgust on the Frenchies faces said it all. We had claimed it. It was ours. All ours.

After that, we started our march around the lake towards the traverse. We ran into Team 1 coming back from getting CP18 and gave them the news of the new course change. They looked at the map in defeat and told us that it would take forever to finish. The full of food optimists we were at that point told him that it wasn’t going too bad.

How wrong we were.

It started out innocently enough until we found ourselves crawling on hands and knees through matagouri, the spikiest and shittiest plant known to man. (Also used by Maoris as tattooing needles). The worst part was finding a spot to semi stand up and then looking across and realising we were in a sea of it with no way out. The possibility of pulling out our bivvys and dying camping seemed more appealing than pushing through. It was at this point Paul thought if we died here they’d never find our bodies.

We somehow made it through the matagouri but found ourselves cliffed out when the map had no mention of cliffs at all. Our timing was blowing out fast and we decided to make one final push to hit the river and continue to the TA via the fire road which was out of bounds. Turns out Tiger had also gotten stuck and decided that this was the far better option too, so we walked into the dawn with them down the never-ending fire road and stupid cows to TA4.

It was here that our race nearly ended. After 42 hours on the trek leg we were all hurting and thought that because of our route choice we would be disqualified. We decided that although we did want to do the packraft, we would pull out after that and so put a couple of our backpacks in crates we wouldn’t see till after the bike leg (if we got there). I had most certainly checked out of racing and was starting to think of getting back home for a shower.

Thursday leg 5: Rakaia packrafting

We arrived at TA 4 around 11 am, which meant we had until the 2pm cut off to faff around and gather our thoughts. It was decided that we’d just do a few hours on the river, set up camp early, have a good rest and then continue on the next day and pull out of the race. Except that when we got on the Rakaia river it was only 6 hours to the kayak. And 6 hours compared to 42 is nothing. So naturally we did the whole packraft. At this point I was still pretty checked out of the race, was still okay to do the kayak (it was only another 6 hours so why not?) but not really keen on the bike ride after that, plus we had gotten rid of our packs, the race was basically over. But there was a mandatory dark zone before the kayak so we set up camp again, had a few back countries and went to sleep.

Friday leg 6+7: Rakaia kayak + MTB commute

It is amazing what some sleep and food can do. The next morning I woke up to a coffee a la Jetboil, news that we weren’t actually disqualified and an inkling that we were probably going to keep racing.  We carried our kayaks the what seemed like a hugely long way to the put in. I was pretty nervous for this bit because there were a few rapids and we were in double Kayaks, but Tom was great at stabilising the couple of near tips we had. We passed Team Tiger, who had managed to smash one of their Kayaks against the rocks and were waiting for a new one and once we got out of the gorge, everything calmed down and we got into a rhythm of picking left or right on the braids of the river. We only got stuck on rocks a couple of times and one of those times was probably karma for me calling Jackson and Paul the fat boat.

After salami sausages for lunch (the height of delicious race food) we were back in race mode, much less racey than we were before the trek, but we had the finish line in our sights.

To our surprise, Sandra and Gab were there to meet us at the TA. It was lovely to have our own spectators and was a great mood booster (along with the huge bag of biscuits).

So we set off at a relatively steady pace, until one of the Kiwi teams came charging past and we all hopped on for the ride. It was nice to work with another team while Paul and their strongest rider took turns at the front. Eventually, we picked up a third team and we hauled ass all the way to the bottom of the climb.

Through a look of bewilderment, one of the kiwi’s said he’d never ridden that fast before and that we were very good mountain bikers. I have to say, we may be good mountain bikers but the Kiwis are killer trekkers. My theory is that all Kiwi adventure racers had mothers who climbed to the top of mountains, gave birth and left them there to find their way home. That’s why they’re so good. We’ve all got our strengths though. Speaking of, I had asked if Paul could bring the leash for this bike leg and as we approached the climb, I grabbed it with glee and hung on for dear life as Paul went into beast mode and hauled us up the 750 metre elevation gain to the top of the mountain. Drenched in sweat, we waited for the boys at the top and put our Supersonic Jackets on to descend into the night and last TA for the race!

Saturday leg 8: harbour packraft home

We were welcomed with pies and sleep as there was another mandatory dark zone, and there were so many teams the atmosphere was buzzing. In the morning we were told our start wave and after a minute silence for the absolutely terrible tragedy in Christchurch we set off for the 17 km paddle to the finish.

It was all looking so promising until the wind picked up and our victory lap cruise turned into fighting a heinous headwind for the last 10kms. But we got there and crossed the line in about 20th, finishing the full course in 6 days with no foot infections, blister-free feet, still talking to each other with no talk of retirement. I think that’s a team win!

Thanks to Mont for Sponsoring us again this year and providing the perfect (and matchy matchy) green Supersonic Jackets and Long Sleeve Running tops for the race. They all looked brand new even after 6 days of racing! Some of our gear highlights:

Mont Moondog jacket – primaloft mid layer, perfect for sleeping and stays warm when damp

Mont Moondance EX 2-3 person tent – ideal for 4 smelly adventure racers

Mont Contour/Sentinel 35/45L packs – tough for bush bashing and expandable from small compulsory loads to larger packrafting loads

Mont Supersonic jackets – bombproof hardshell with adjustable zips for multiple storage/ventilation options

Mont Run Power Dry L/S Zip Tee – we may or may not have worn a single shirt each for the entire race – functional AND compulsory, ticks all the boxes

Mont Prolite sleeping bags – lightweight and optimised with one-sided down to maximise the warmth:weight ratio

Mont Adventure Light hiking pants – there was some debate about shorts vs pants before the race but in hindsight… always go pants when matagouri is around! Solid coverage even if you forget your gaiters.

La Sportiva Helios was the paddle shoe of choice for rock hopping and lightning fast drainage.

Jetboil – churning out the back countries and coffee sachets

Enormous bikepacking style saddle bags on the bike legs – various brands – this was a good race for hardtails and ditching backpacks where possible.

Antihistamine tablets – when you forget prevention for sandfly bites… treat the symptom not the cause!

Sharkskins – comfier and less restrictive than wetsuits (but still warm) for the paddling

Underwear underneath your bike knicks… TBC boys!!! (Only Paul does this.)

  GODZone Chapter 8 – Akaroa Well, we went back to GODZone like the gluttons we are. We had bright eyed and bushy tailed Jackson to complete our team this year and after our concerns that he was going to wreck himself by running 250km around New Zealand before we got there faded (how he does what he does and doesn't drink coffee is beyond me).

[redsunsetxiii]

**Please do not repost without credit**

[TRANS] 2018.10.30 SONE NOTE LIVE vol. 18 with Sunny

Staff: Sunny, you tried out making Christmas bottles last time, and this time you tried making DIY cat scratch board and toy! Please share any difficulties or particular points that you had.

Sunny: The teacher was next to me and helped out, so it wasn’t difficult. I just took care that it was safe because Sogeum will use them. For example, I gently polished the sharp tips and edges with sandpaper, and I took care to not use a lot of glue because she might eat it. I feel like raising a cat is a lot like raising a baby. I can’t predict what Sogeum will do and she can’t understand speech. I can’t let my guard down ^^

Staff: This required both detailed and bold work, but which do you think matches your personality more?

Sunny: I believe details suit my personality more so than boldness. I’m told that I don’t really seem that way, but I’ve always been the type to be scared of bold challenges. Recently, I’ve become even more careful (laughs)

Staff: What were some specific difficulties?

Sunny: It wasn’t that difficult. The instructor thoroughly showed me how to do it, so it wasn’t dangerous. The instructor and staff watched over me so I was able to work without worry ^^

Staff: Which part was the most fun?

Sunny: I like fiddling around with small things, so it was interesting for me to make yarn pom poms and cute objects.

Staff: Which part was the most difficult?

Sunny: I was careful not to mess up when drilling holes into the board. That’s because it’d be ruined if the holes weren’t drilled well and then the screws wouldn’t be able to fit!

Staff: You practiced before actually getting to work.

Sunny: That’s because in spite of it all, I was nervous. No matter how many times I practiced I was still nervous because these were tools that I don’t normally use.

Staff: You made two types of items this time; what were particular points for each?

Sunny: When making the scratch board, I used a lot of strength wrapping the rope around. Cats actually use a surprising amount of strength when sharpening their claws, so the rope will easily break apart.

Staff: Is your arm strength particularly good?

Sunny: Not really, but I can do this much! I used all of my strength wrapping that rope today! I tried my best for Sogeum so that it won’t break when she uses it (laughs)

Staff: How was making the cat toy?

Sunny: It was interesting to polish the jagged parts with sandpaper. The sharp places would get smooth after a lot of polishing… I was happy to be able to see that process.

Staff: You were really good with a hammer.

Sunny: Really? (laughs) I don’t usually use them… I don’t have the talent for things like DIY projects, so I don’t really try to do them. I’ve used a hammer before for a program shoot, but as for tools that I normally use, that would be a screwdriver. I live by myself now, but when I purchased a desk and table from the internet, they come to your door unassembled. So I had experience assembling those kind of items. I never had a desktop PC before, but when I started living alone I bought one, thinking to play games with it (laughs). So I ordered a PC desk and chair and assembled them myself… It was really tough (laughs). Ah, but the assembly itself was easy! It was just that to assemble the desk legs you have to turn the desk down, right? So after that was completed, I had to get the desk upright… That was really hard. I had to lift it with my back and haul it up… (laughs) I chose a desk that was made out of an iron material so it was too heavy and lifting it was extremely tough. Looking on the internet, people have said that assembling it would take around 1~2 hours, so I was ready for that, but it only took around 40 minutes. However, turning the desk upright took around 20 minutes (laughs) It felt like my body was going to break somewhere...I worked on it while talking to myself (laughs)

Staff: If there’s no physical work involved, it seems like you have talent for DIY (laughs) You made the scratch board and wooden toy very well! You can anticipate Sogeum playing with them♪ Does she usually sharpen her claws at home?

Sunny: Yes. She likes to do that, but her favorite toy at home is the pole with a bug toy on the tip. Sogeum doesn’t really like toys with strings attached to them like fishing poles, but she likes the ones with yarn or toys attached directly to the poles. So playing with her is like being a conductor (laughs) If you swing the pole to the left, she will jump to the left, if you swing it to the right, she will jump to the right (laughs) Sometimes I only move my eyes. When that happens, Sogeum will time when the pole will move by watching my eyes. She's afraid of missing the timing (laughs) It’s very amusing because it feels like I’m conducting Sogeum. I wonder if Sogeum will notice that I made the toy box? If I expect it then I probably would get disappointed if she doesn’t notice, right? (laughs) I believe she will like the scratch board, but I’m anxious that she won’t like the toy box. But I’m looking forward to present it to her.

Staff: At the end you burn marked cat paw prints; how was that activity?

Sunny: I messed up a little (laughs) I burned one of them and it turned all black, another one I didn’t do it properly had it was hazy… It was the first time for me to use a branding iron, which has to be handled carefully, so I think I was a little nervous ^^

Staff: There were processes where you used a drill this time, but have you ever used a drill to make something?

Sunny: It was difficult because it was my first time using a drill. I thought about what if I drilled a hole in the wrong place or at a weird angle, so I was nervous during this operation as well.

Staff: Have you ever had interest in making an item like today or an interior decoration?

Sunny: I would like to try making a piece of big furniture like a dresser or a sofa. One of the good points about DIY is that you can make things that match your size. I’m short so I think it would be great to be able to make something that fits me and is easy for me to use.

Staff: What would you be the best at for interior decorating?

Sunny: I don’t think I could put up wallpaper because of my height… (laughs) Since I liked playing with Legos and plastic models before, I believe I would be good at activities where I could always fiddle around with small objects. I think I could make make some methodical decorations or detailed work very well.

Staff: You made wooden goods for your beloved cat to play with, but are there any other goods that you would like to try making for Sogeum?

Sunny: Probably a cat tower. I assembled the cat tower that’s at home, but I chose from existing designs, so if possible I would like to make one that would suit Sogeum perfectly and would have all her favorite things. For example, she likes soft cushions, but she likes it even more if they’re at a higher place. The cat tower now isn’t really soft, so I’d want to make one with comfy cushions and with a hammock. The overall design would be in princess styled pink? (laughs) Soguem’s personality is that of a proud princess, but her appearance can look a little androgynous. Since she looks kind of like a cool cat, I want to make a princess styled cat tower ^^

Staff: Have you bought items that have a cat design before?

Sunny: Keyholders and mirrors, coin purses… When there is something like that with a design that looks like Sogeum, for some reason my eyes just go to them and I sometimes buy them as well. A cat with short white fur, with pink inner ears and pink paws, and also yellow eyes. If those three features match up then it’s Sogeum. If I see it then I buy it without thinking. Before I know it I’m holding it in my hands (laughs).

Staff: Is there anything besides toys that Sogeum favors?

Sunny: She uses some pajamas that I bought as her own cushion. She bites it and kneads it gleefully with her front paws. (laughs) She gets in a really, really good mood when I wear those pajamas. They’re thicker so it’d be nice for it to become winter soon. And even on days when I don’t wear them, she gets really happy if I fold them up and place them on the edge of the bed for her like a cushion. She seems to get super happy biting and pulling on them. Fortunately, I have other pajamas...But I think I’ll go shopping again (laughs)

Staff: There are many members in SNSD with pets. Have any of them been recent topics of discussion? If so, please share what kind of episode it was.

Sunny: Everyone has dogs, and I’m the only cat person…. Before, when I met the other members’ dogs, I would try to carry them and lifted them up like you would a cat instead of a dog. But the way you hold a dog and cat are different… When you hold up a cat they stretch like cotton. So when you hold a cat you pull them up and then hold them, but dogs are stiffer than I thought (laughs) I think it was Yuri’s dog, but when I went to hold it, without thinking I lifted it like I would a cat, thinking that it would stretch like one. I got in a panic and asked the members, “What is this? I feel strange and the dog feels strange… What should I do?” The members thought that I was so funny that they even took pictures of me… They laughed at me saying, “This is too funny! You normally don’t lift up a dog like that. Sunny forgot how to hold a dog!” (laughs) I had a dog before, but before I knew it I forgot everything (laughs)

Staff: If you were to make a DIY item for another member who has a pet, what would you make and for who? Please share what color, shape, material, the idea for the member and pet, and why.

Sunny: I’ve known Tiffany’s Prince the longest, so I would like to build him a doghouse. Since his name is Prince, wouldn’t it be nice to give him one in the shape of a castle? Of course, my ability isn’t up that that point though (laughs) But if I gave a white house with light blue points… Tiffany would probably dislike it (laughs) That’s because she likes pink. But since Prince is a boy, wouldn’t pink give the wrong idea about him? (laughs) Prince has kind of short ears and I think cool colors would suit him. While saying that, I just said that I would build Sogeum a pink cat tower, right? (laughs)

Staff: Does Sogeum have a favorite color?

Sunny: Sogeum seems to be attracted to vivid colors. She probably likes them more than other colors? Even toys that are the same shape and material, she’s happier with the violet-red one than the gray one. It seems like she likes colors that stand out.

Staff: Please share if there is anything that you like now or are recently collecting.

Sunny: Right now I want to start knitting so I’ve been looking for yarn. I often knit scarves, but back then I didn’t think that the yarn was that important and only saw the yarn’s color and shape, but now I’m careful about the texture as well. There’s yarn that has cashmere in it, and it’s not only soft and flexible, but the thread itself is soft so it can be mixed with various threads. That’s why you can decide the color mix by yourself. But when you are interested in the material, you think...was yarn always this expensive…? (laughs) I’ve liked knitting since I was in elementary school. It’s very enjoyable since you can do it without thinking and I like simple repetitive activities.

Staff: How do you usually spend your time?

Sunny: I recently like to stay at home watching TV, having food delivered and eating it… I only make simple dishes, and it is very enjoyable and comfortable to spend time at home while eating fruit and the like. I would rather spend quiet time alone than have friends come over and being boisterous (laughs) I really like being at home. Being at home recharges my energy and being with Sogeum is my favorite way to spend time. However, when everyone sees this interview it would be October around the Chuseok holiday when families go out together. I somehow have plans, but we haven’t figured out a place yet ^^

Staff: Before, you mentioned that your room has a lot of pink in it, but what color do you like recently?

Sunny: I still like pink. I like pink and purple. Among pinks I like shades that don’t have orange hues. Instead of peach and coral colors I guess I like pinks that have red and purples mixed in? I’m not particular about the brightness or darkness to the color, so I like colors like Indian pink. As long as it doesn’t have orange or feel fluorescence. That’s the one thing that I don’t match well with Sogeum.

Staff: But the colors of her toys are colors that would be decided by your preference, right (laughs)

Sunny: Sogeum does not choose. That’s because I have the decisive power (laughs)

Staff: Please share if there has been a hot topic or a memorable episode among the members recently!

Sunny: We monitor each other’s individual activities in our group chat room, and we share videos of junior artists covering our songs. We also take and send pictures of delicious food that we had. However, when I talk about that kind of chat, it’s just kind of meaningless content (laughs). Among the members, Sooyoung, Yuri, and Tiffany often upload pictures. When was the last time I shared a picture…? (laughs). And I think it was Taeyeon? She ordered us with, “Take a selfie immediately and share it! I want to see what you are doing right now. What is everyone doing and where?” (laughs) So I took a selfie and shared it, making sure that they could tell what I was doing and where I was. It was like a mission. I sent a picture that I was just lying in bed at the time doing nothing. I think I sent a picture with Sogeum in it? Then all the responses were, “This is so Sunny” (laughs). All the members always have the desire to meet up, but by uploading and seeing each other’s pictures, we can say, “That’s interesting. They are enjoying themselves.” ...We can communicate how we’re doing to each other like this.

Staff: SONE NOTE LIVE is where we give preference to what the members what to try out, but do you all talk about your SONE NOTE LIVE activities? Also, please share if there is something you’d like to try next.

Sunny: We often say to each other something like, “I just tried this out the other day, it was interesting”, and discuss our experiences. I like making things, but up until now making candles was the most impressionable experience for me. If I get the chance, I’d like to try decorating something like fruits or chocolate bars. It seems fun and very cute!

Staff: Finally, a message for SONE JAPAN please!

Sunny: I’m happy that I can regularly communicate what I’m doing like this! I often see your comments on SNS. Everyone, please take care of yourselves, too. It’ll get cold soon. Always take care not to catch a cold, and please wait until the next time we can meet♪

Translation by RedSunsetXIII source: SONE JAPAN website **Please do not repost without credit**

[lifeasabashly]

Berwick

So I’ve been applying for this camp, through work for the last four years or so, and this year, after almost deciding that I didn’t need it anymore, I got picked to go. It is based in the Berwick Forest, 40km out of Dunedin in May which usually would sound like a whole lot of miserable to me (as I am a sad sack throughout most of Winter) but for some reason I was keen to go. 

Arriving at an empty airport in Dunedin and realising I had been left behind was a shit start that really made me question if I had made the right choice. But that was the last time I had that thought. I got picked up by one of the Lions Club members eventually and dropped at the camp where everyone was already sitting in their ‘watches’ with their GP lines and beanies. I was in Green watch which suited me fab, my fav colour. I immediately was thrown into the team building exercise where we were writing a story about a hole in a balloon. It’s interesting thinking back now to those people I met, and how those relationships changed and grew over the 8 days I was there. 

My watch was made up of Moe (said Moy) (60s), Mark (60s), Julie (50s), Myself (26), Max (24), Erin (21), Kohan (19), William (18), Mikayla (18) & Harry (18). Such a range of people from all walks of life. 

I’d miss the orientation session, along with Charlie and Morgan from Trustpower so we briefly sat down and went through this before heading to our bunks. Being last meant I got a top bunk - which I was fine with as it meant I was closer to the warmth (and farts I guess). 

We woke EARLY the next morning, about 5.40am to bagpipes blasting outside our room. I freaking love bagpipes so this actually put me in such a good mood. We got dressed and headed to our first activity which was like a brain teaser type activity in the common room. It was far too early for me to be able to contribute anything useful  and I’m pretty shit at these types of things anyway so was happy to let the team lead us to success! Finally at 7 we got breakfast, typical camp style lining up for cereals, toasts, porridge the works. I went hard out of fear of not eating again for a long time and a huge day ahead. Before I knew it we were kitted up in our wetsuits heading to our first big activity - Kayaking. Now I’m not really for or against Kayaking. Can be fun, sometimes it’s just boring so I was keen to see what they had planned. We started in a pool, the tiny, local community pool that used to be used by a school that was now shut down. The water was ice. I wore my socks in. They made us do flips in the kayaks and taught us how to safely exit if we did flip on the river. 

Then we were in the river. I had chosen my paddle and kayak that I felt would suit me best, plus they were perfectly colour coordinated so thought I was away for the win. We had barely disembarked before one of our watch Will, had fallen out of his kayak. He was complaining it was too small and hard to maneuver. Me being the good Samaritan *coughs* offered him mine. This was my first mistake and lesson learnt. Never be nice. His kayak was tiny, it took me 3 goes to get in the damn thing without falling out. I was wearing my sneakers (as the river was colder than the pool) and I was incredibly cramped and uncomfortable the whole river journey. To my dismay when I fell out on a turn, I was trapped by my sneaker and spent a good 3 minutes flailing about until Will caught up and was able to help me out. Overall it was still fun though. When I had to get out of the kayak at one point to - kiss the front (the things these instructors made you do) I bruised both legs and by the end of the float (due to falling out so much) I was a freezing, shivering mess. But I DID IT. I think they were worried about hypothermia though as they sent me straight to the van where the heater was blasting. 

We headed back to lunch which was sandwiches and hot pies. God I love a good pie. So delightful. Then we had tea prep so I spent the next hour peeling & chopping carrots with Mikayla. 

Straight into Knots & the Confidence course after lunch. I gotta say, I am possibly the worst knot tier in the history of the planet. I had to be shown about 300 times before it stuck and then the next day I still couldn’t tell you what the damn knots were called. Lucky I had a watch full of able humans who had done guides and were just onto it to help me through the rest of the week where knots were ESSENTIAL to survival! The confidence course was fun. The very first part was a tyre wall which I felt very prepared for after spending Intermediate sitting on the tyre wall at lunch times. I must admit, once I was at the top I was still abit shaky/nervous going over the top. Even more so when we had to carry a bucket full of water over too! Erin struggled with this one, she just would not budge at one point, saying her arms/legs were giving up, bawling her eyes out and Leanne (one of our instructors) would not let her give up. She made it over and I’m glad, but I definitely had a moment of - this feels like bullying. It just shows you though, some people need it. The rest of the course was pretty tame, tarzan ropes onto walls, that sort of jam. It wasn’t until the last bit - a firemans pole that I got a bit nervous again. I don’t know what it is about them but they freak me out. This one was exceptionally high too! Leanne was there giving me technique and before I knew it I was at the bottom. Embarrassed at how easy it was! Unfortunately Moe, was close on my tail and did it straight after me without any technique and sped to the bottom where she snapped her ankle in three places. I got to do First Aid, but poor Moe was gutted. Her ankle did the floppy thing like Harry’s arm in Harry Potter. It was pretty gross but intriguing. She was in no pain! Just shock I guess. Ironically that night after dinner, we had our First Aid training. I was in bed by 9 and asleep by 9.01 for sure. Absolutely shattered.

Day two! We had games first thing from 6am-7am. Again, puzzles in the morning, not my forte. Esp not before kai. After breakfast we had toilet duties which is always a barrel of laughs right? Then on to abseiling. This was based at camp. The hill to the top was a bit of a bitch to get to but abseiling was fun! We did it three times, the third time blind folded. Beef was our instructor. He was a spunk. After lunch we were back on to knots and bush craft which I don’t overly remember doing but again I think this is because I was hopeless at it and all the knots seemed the same to me. Looking at the schedule it’s hard to believe that this took up most of the afternoon. I remember we had to pull a pole somewhere and tow a truck though. Then Dinner, then night exercise. This one was us carrying a massive heavy pole from one side of the camp to the other as a team. It wasn’t awesome. The walk back under the stars was lovely though.

Monday was our first sports session - Netball. I loved it. It made me think how some days I would just play netball and that’s all the exercise I would do.... this was just the first thing for the day! Our team lost, JUST. But our commitment and passion was 10/10! Next was mountain biking which I was super excited for but MAN it was hard. We got kitted up with bikes/helmets and then did some practice stuff on the icy grass/mud. We then headed up the hill. I could bike up all of 2 minutes as it was steep AF. Everyone had to get off and walk most of it. We learnt how to jump logs and break/maneuver down steep hills. I came off the bike twice, one time landing on another stationary bike but it was so awesome! Then we got to boost down the hill. It was SO fast. I felt alive. I loved it. 100% Mountain biker for life.

After lunch we were back into it with a ‘Bridge Exercise’ - they gave us tiny hints to what we were doing throughout the course - but they never really helped. This was intense. When we realized what we had to do, get from one side of the bridge, underneath it and come up on the other side - there was a lot of planning involved. And actually doing it, (and trusting your teams knots) was pretty crazy! We aren’t allowed to share photos of this and I didn’t get any, any way but this was such a cool challenge. After dinner our night exercise this night was hilarious. We were all blindfolded and either had to lead or direct our watch around camp. It was pretty freaky putting your trust in strangers this way, especially at night. I DID end up in a swamp. But it was so fun. Making the most of our other senses and what not. Pretty cool. And just when we thought we were finally done for the night, blindfolds off. I hear this blood-curdling scream and Leanne comes racing up to us in full diva/drunk actor mode yelling about how she pushed her brother ‘Eric’ off a cliff and he’s dying at the bottom. So off we trot following her to save Eric. I got the fun task of taking care of drunk Leanne who was going on about popping cherries, working her ‘night job’ and the likes. Much to Harry’s disgust as Leanne is his mums best friend. So entertaining. Finally with Eric stretchered back to camp and bandaged we were allowed to go to bed. 

Tuesday Tramp Day! This was what I was most nervous about, a 15km tramp through the wilderness. Seemed like not far but boy was it ever. It took us 12 hours. We went the wrong way twice and not just a few steps like probably 2-3kms each time. No instructors, reception, just a map (that wasn’t the best if I may add!) The majority of the tramp was up hill and it was hard. Erin couldn’t hack it. She got blisters day one and the whole tramp (before she got taken out) she was moaning about them and stopping every 20 steps. It meant we moved incredibly slow - I didn’t really get a chance to get tired. She was though. I felt sad for her because everyone was tired/sore in some way and she couldn’t just push herself. Anyway, she got taken out with Max, who was borderline collapsing at every turn and then we could pick up the pace. By 7.30pm it was dark, cold and we were so over it. By 8.30 we were finally at The Hilton, exhausted and starving. I ate mince boiled with instant mash potato and peas. It looked like spew but I devoured it. Then I went to bed, it’s possibly one of the worst huts I’ve stayed in. Made New Beers look like a resort. But I slept solidly. 

Wednesday we were up early to make our way to the Mahinerangi Dam. Damn son. It was huge. We had lunch first - chicken AND ham luncheon sandwiches - just bread and butter no shit, dried apricots and a cup-a-soup. Gourmet I tell you. We set up our tents, wet and dirty from the previous 2 watches and then got set up for our dam abseil. First one, no biggy, no dramas for me. Second one... I’m not quite sure what happened but I was afraid. I didn’t realise I wasn’t going to be able to use my feet and would just have to lower myself down. I think the shock of that suddenly happening just set me off and I burst into tears. Sobbed the whole dam way down. Need any more damn puns? Damn. Others didn’t do the second one, but Harry and Max went all profesh on us, bouncing off the walls like Spiderman. Show offs.

After the dam activities, we were off for another wetties exercise. Raft building. Each team member had to sail out to the island and back without getting our lines wet or drownies. It was actually a really easy task and we finished it so early we had heaps of free time. FREE TIME!? At Berwick? NEVER. I went and set up my tent, I got nominated to tent with the boys as we only had 3 person tents plus we wanted to avoid the snorers (Mark, Will, Max, Erin...) Kohan, in my tent didn’t bring a bed roll, so Harry and I ended up putting our two together and sharing. We played some president which I was excellent at for once. We had some snacks, then went and made dinner. Pasta packets - Mac & Cheese. This was actually pretty tasty. I ate heaps! After dinner we had another activity. Learning to use a GPS. They are super legit - who knew!? And Geo-caching is a thing. I’m 26 and I’d never heard of this, but people leave notes for other people around the world to find. It’s like a world-wide treasure hunt! So cool! Thankfully we got to have an early night and headed back to the tent. I slept in full gear - beanie, puffer jacket, merinos, socks - the works and was still shivering. I’m actually so glad there was no way of knowing how cold it was that night but there was ice on our tent in the morning. 

Thursday was another 4 hour tramp back to camp. We got lost... again and were late getting back. We went straight into lunch then an Initiative course. This was probably the best ever. Or maybe it was just I remember it so well as it was near the end of the week. It was loads of team-based activities that weren’t physically demanding but just hilarious and you had to use your brain and trust your homies to succeed. I got heaved over walls, thrown through ‘spider webs’, held my fingers against holes in a giant drum while the team filled it with water #frozenfingers. I had to sit on Harrys shoudlers  so we could all fit onto this platform after swinging across a mudpit. We then had to dive into another mudpit/lake, do a massive flying fox, ropes again and more. Dinner, then more sport afterwards. Cricket, which would have been amazing except it was inside and you couldn’t smash it so I got out pretty quickly. Had a few successful bowls however. 

Friday morning we had more sport - football (lame but fun for others) then breakfast and cleaning. Everyone was back from the tramps Friday and we were on dinner so had to prepare a shit tonne for the ‘’roast meal’ (8 Roast Beefs!). It was a huge job. Then we were off for our ‘river exercise’ which we were told - all being well you shouldn’t get wet. I have to admit by this point, I had very little clothing left and reaaaallly didn’t want to get wet if I could avoid it. So when our first team mate came across the river and dropped to the side, a sodden mess- I was hugely disappointed. I think this was the only task we actually had to ask an instructor for help. We had to be split into two groups on each side of the river and using our ropes (not getting them wet) we had to get each team member to the other side of the river and back. Thankfully, by the time I had to go across, not only was I being pulled back and forth #noeffortrequired but I did not touch the river with any part of my body! Great success! Harry got dunked which was sad for him but hilarious for everyone else. Back to camp for a quick lunch then we had another group activity (bridge building) and then orienteering. Both were fun, but orienteering took us ages! Makayla, Harry and I were in a team and these two just spent the time waffling. I had to be mother hen quite frequently to keep them on the job at hand! We played some truth or dare which was great on my part because I am an excellent question master and kept orienteering fun, but it was cool because you got to explore the whole camp. I saw a baby wild pig! And there was probably 3 times total I said over the course - surely they wouldn’t make us go up/down/through there.... alas, it was the right way. When we finally got back, Kev the instructor was on his way out to us to check we weren’t dead. Dinner was a bit emotional as it was our last night... then we had to go do our performance ‘Welcome to Berwick’. It was in the tune to ‘My House’ by Flo Rida and our watches show was definitely the best. We even had backing music... just saying. After that we all headed back to the rooms to spend time together before lights off as I knew I had an earlier flight Sat morning and wouldn’t get to do the last relay or wind down drinks/BBQ. Harry was quite distraught. He was crying and saying he didn’t want to leave and that Makayla and I were his best friends and I was just amazing. It was all quite overwhelming for me. I loved these two, so easily and quickly in this weird environment we’d been thrust in - but I guess for me I had a lot of friends, Chris and life to go back to and neither of them didn’t have quite that. So I will try be good friends to them both, because I think they need that. I know they’re gonna do great things. It’s exciting to watch.

Saturday morning was spent cleaning, trying to find all my shit and then a few tears saying goodbyes (even from me! Shock Horror!) Kev drove me away in the van and it was hard leaving. I really could have stayed there another week or more I think. I just loved it.The truth is I really didn’t miss home that much, I was too tired or busy... I didn’t think I had missed Chris even until I saw him and burst into tears. Now being back, it’s hard to explain how life-changing and inspirational it was. I feel like a dick talking to people about it and saying that that’s exactly what it was for me but people don’t really get it unless they’ve been. I LOVED not using my phone or having it anywhere near me, I LOVED the people I met and stories we shared, I LOVED being outside, being dirty and being completely me without anyone's expectations. I loved learning all these new skills and really pushing myself and then finding out how awesome I could be!

Finally, I must admit though, I LOVED coming home to an ice cold bourbon with Chris too. #OGhobby

[artdjgblog]

Innerview: M.L. / ​University of the Arts, Philadelphia, PA

April 2008

Image: MO Fine Arts Academy Name Badge / Logo: Roman Duszek

Note: ​Interview for a design student’s art history lecture​.​

Introduction:​

I wanted to know if you would be willing to answer a few questions for me. I really like your work, because I really appreciate the super hand-done and collage quality of it. I think it’s a way of working that’s often forgotten and overlooked, but personally I really like it, and your work really appeals to me. I’m especially interested in your work with show posters, so if you would be amenable to a short interview I would really appreciate it. You can just shoot me back an e-mail, or if you prefer a phone interview that would be fine too. Thanks! ​0​1) Did you go to school for art, or are you self taught? I was fortunate to attend one of the best kept secrets in design schools at Southwest Missouri State University (SMSU) in Springfield, MO. Shortly after I left, the name was simplified to Missouri State University. (Rewind A Bit to 1996) The year before my ​F​reshm​a​n fall semester, I was selected for the first annual Missouri Fine Arts Academy, which was held on the campus of SMSU. Before my senior year of high school (back in 1996) I thought about pursuing a career in architecture design, in particular, the area of sports stadium design. Though, after several years of lying to myself that I would eventually kick my math deficiency, I got a kick in the gut that this might not be my best choice. I loved to shut myself in my room for hours at a time drawing everything from comics to sports logos to buildings and such. I loved the creative aspect of this and felt that not only might I lose some of that personal one-on-one with architecture (though, nothing short of creative, but it’s a relatively computer and technical group effort), I would be held responsible to make the designs actually “work”. Being that I was terrible at math I didn’t want to be held accountable for future building flops. So, at the Fine Arts Academy I did a little bit of re-discovering of my own wheels, as I realized that I had more to offer from my fingertips. Raised from the dirt of a farm in the middle of the mid-west, I was pretty naive to most all things having to do with graphic design, I just knew that I should head in that direction, yet not limit myself only there. And I had shown signs of graphic design earlier on by way of winning a small town logo competition for a skating rink / bowling alley in the fifth grade. I just had a hunch while in creation of the identity (they kept the original, but i still have the newspaper clipping copy depicting my original entry) that I would be chosen out of the dozen other area schools and get my creation up on that big sign. Well, come time for the grand opening of The Fun Factory, my school principal forgot to notify me or my parents that I was the celebrated one to christen the new establishment. The next week she apologized, but i didn’t really give a care as I don’t like such sanctions of attention, and I still don’t. Most kids would have been struck with disappointment by the loss of a free chance to be the first to scuff the freshly waxed lanes with boulders and the new floor with skates, but the deep gut spoilage came to me by way of finally getting to see my logo up on that sign. I was devastated. My design had been butchered. This was my earliest memory of design sabotage. How could somebody take my vision and just ruin it? I look at all things in my life to have lead me up to this point in the writing, and so I feel that early little burnt spark in my gut that day told me something important…pour yourself into your work and protect that. (Fast Forward To 1996) To shorten the story, I came back from those three weeks of Fine Arts Academy in a born-again sense within my own talents, though still unsure of how to officially tap into it like I once had before body hair and outside influences and distractions pushed “play”. Being inspired by a couple of graffiti artists that I observed at the Fine Arts Academy, I began studying the art of typography (though, I had no idea what that word meant then) by way of this whole new world of urban language. And being that I tried to keep my nose clean and lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere, I just practiced my own graffitied typography twists and turns by way of perfecting one-of-a-kind personalized locker names and special birthday certificates for my classmates and friends on cheap Wal-Mart sketchbook paper. I was never so thankful to be attached to my small school in such a way as I only had two dozen classmate name plates to hand draw and color and diecut. If I did that now, my hands would surely buckle. I didn’t need to do it then, but I saw it as an investment towards the future growth of my work, or some way to start my last year of schooling fresh. My senior year was mostly spent in my bedroom making things. All of my friends had girlfriends and I had my work to sit next to on weekend nights. I also was inspired by a new art teacher at the school named Allen Heck. He was a real artist and not just some fluke or painter who couldn’t sell work so in-turn dropped on the totem pole to teach a crummy low-budget art program. Allen had a business head and an artistic head and he meant business in a classroom that spilled creativity. Even though there were a couple of art teachers before Allen that I admired, most art classes before his were mostly afterthoughts or throwaways. Places where the jerk-off kids could goof and ruin the atmosphere for the ones who wanted to be there to learn and develop, just like at most any school, i suppose. Anyway, I found an excuse to be in Allen’s classroom as much as I could and he sorta guided me on some design paths. I also helped him teach several of the elementary classes (we had K-12 grades all under one roof) that year. At this same time I was getting really involved in devouring music and an early mining idea of combining art and music started to strike, though it wouldn’t cement until several years later. Outside of Allen’s classes I landed a logo for the local Future Farmers of America chapter, along with other little so-called “best artist in the class” projects. A title that I didn’t really think I deserved as a friend of mine was ten times the draftsman that I was. Anyway, for my not-so troubles with the Future Farmers (I wasn’t a member and I didn’t want to follow my blood line), I got a giant canvas carrying case for artwork big enough that a beefy baby calf corpse could take a nap in it (I use it now to stuff my dirty clothes in for the laundromat trips). In early 1997, my guidance counselor set-up a special solo trip for me to visit an area company that specialized in yearbook designs. I went and wasn’t completely enthused about this place that seemed to put a lock on creativity in a darkened room with eyes staring at computer screens, shuffling around items given to them, though, I lied to myself that as I would grow older, this is what I might want. It just didn’t really say “Happiness” to me though, more-so (to quote The Beatles), “Happiness is a warm gun”. Still, I decided to go on ahead with going to a college that had graphic design courses. As graduation loomed on the purple and white horizon, I began to think a bit more seriously about applying for schools to further my education. Being that I had some solid fortune at the Fine Arts Academy at Southwest Missouri State University, and being that Springfield, MO was four hours south down the black top road (far enough from everything, but not too far for a weekend visit), I registered with no time to spare. Thoughts of the Kansas City Art Institute loomed, but they were more expensive, and i felt some sort of strange magnetism to SMSU. I ended up getting in by a scrape to the only college I applied for. I had the lowest common denominator for test scores and was in the top half of my graduating class as I was 12 out of 24. That was all the requirements I needed, the deal was set. The transition from high school to college art class (like most I assume) was a little challenging for me as I soon realized that the mold I was in previously had to be broken as I wasn’t comparable to skill with my new classmates. Though, the drawing classes frustrated, yet intrigued me, I did do fairly decent in my fundamentals design classroom. And this is where I learned more about making like-minded, potential life-long friends, a skill I hadn’t perfected much since my first day of Meadville first grade. All of my friends in foundations course were annoyed with working in cutting blades and paper and such…whereas, I flourished a good reputation in those departments and at times neglected all other areas of my studies to perfect my art skills. On break one early spring morning my friends spoke of much better things to come in the coming semester. Their minds were on the computer. They couldn’t wait as they had backgrounds in computer-related image creating in their high school yearbook classes. My school had one computer until I was a senior, and then we got a baker’s dozen or so. Other than that few hour visit to the local yearbook factory, I was naive to the idea of a computer as the essential tool for the modern day graphic designer. Exhausted by their comments, anxieties swelled in me and out finally popped my ignorance to the subject, “I plan to take the direction in graphic design that is done without the computer. I’m going to take the courses that are all hands-on.” And instant mockery, was I. My friends ripped me a new one and basically said I better learn pretty quick because graphic design wasn’t conquered without the computer. This is all really quite humorous to me know (possibly to them too) as I’ve somehow managed some mild success with my hands-on design approach and most of them are staring at computers all day in jobs they dislike or not even doing graphic design at all. Later that year I found out where the design kids were stuffed as I climbed aboard a twenty minute bus ride to the small downtown area of Springfield and up an elevator zooming past vacant floors housing archives of university products and collections to the top of a five story building where the world of graphic design officially opened up to me. Did it open wide at first? That answer is a giant NO as I was still so naive to what the heck I was getting into that when my friends early-on claimed, “I can’t wait until next semester for typography class”. I said, “Cool! We get to design maps?” ​0​2) Were your areas of interest in school (artistically) the same as they are now? My artistic whatevers were put on hold the first few semester of design school. Not only that, but they were run thru the emotional and physical gambits over and over. Being thrown on a computer was very troubling for me and there was a time that I almost quit design all together because I didn’t feel a connection to the work anymore thru the screen barrier. So, I struggled to find myself again for about a year and a half. Though, at the same time the design instructors at SMSU were (and still are) old-fashioned in a sense with their training and we still did many hands-on projects. I shined more in these areas, though my work still seemed more like decorating than me trying to say something. True, design is pretty much decorating and saying something, but, I couldn’t really find myself and it felt more like doing my chores than anything else. I think it can be dangerous when the designer is hogging the avenue and only speaking for their ego or style and not client intentions. Sometimes a healthy dose of both works, sometimes not. Anyway, I just didn’t “get” what I was doing and basically was doing an incredibly OK job at fulfilling my instructor’s projects. Which is fine, but it took me a while to really enjoy design. All of the instructor’s at SMSU were (mostly still are) from Eastern Europe and Russia. This was a great experience for me as it opened me up to not only a unique education in design, but also one in culture. I felt a strange connection to this as I was somewhat foreign being an artistically-challenged kid from a farm in The Sticks, Missouri. There is an exciting mix of design and passion going on down there on the fifth floor of that building. New wheels in me started to get greased around this same time and my eyes started to open a pinch. And they really thumped when I went on a limb to attach illustration classes to my already full plate during my junior year. I was starting to get hungry and / or full…full in a sense to where I needed to get the work out of my system. It was time for me to find my voice. ​0​3) How did you get started working as a​n​ illustrator? Growing up and drawing a lot, I thought I was pretty decent at it, but nothing more special or ordinary than creating strange, graphic WWII battles and mimicking comic book characters. I even had an epic, life-sized drawing of Batman I worked on at my grandma’s almost every week after school. Sadly, I think it was thrown away recently when she moved. However, on the back burner to the drawing, there was a side of me that always did a lot of cut-outs and saving and archiving of things. I think most every kid at some point cuts things of interest from magazines and tacks them to their wall or jumbles words cut to make “cool” sayings glued on paper. My older brother and I did this a lot. Mostly, we were just never bored and always doing something and always being inspired by anything and everything. We even created our own little magazine (I still have a few issues) at my grandma’s. My grandmother was a good influence on my creative side too as we were always making homemade things there. My siblings and I recreated any event we went to or anything we watched on television / movies in our sandbox, tree house(s), forts and bedroom. I was fortunate to have a large intake of popular culture and mix that with the experience of farm life and a lot of room to play. All of this fueled my creative side to where at a younger age I had a lot of options to choose from and I enjoyed and loved them all. Though, it took me a while to re-discover this within myself in design school. I was getting deeper into school and the ever present “What do I wish to do with my life” question(s) (among other personal mind trappings and inner wrangling). This especially was asked after I signed up with other design students on several professional studio visits. Every time I would come home with an empty heart from these “creative” places that felt more like controlled meat markets than anything remotely creative. Some people thrive in certain areas and not everybody wants the same thing, but the typical trappings of community computer screen shuffling didn’t offer me much hope at all. I have always enjoyed being alone making things. I’ve also been very protective of my creations and I didn’t want to be thrown into a factory-like design setting unless it was my own to where I could do what I wanted, when I wanted and have parental rights and control. Coming back to school from these studio visits was very discouraging to me. I felt confused and as if my career path was in a box already. Around this time I toyed with the idea of taking illustration classes to help push myself a little more as I wanted to keep what little fire I had in me from burning out. However, I wasn’t confident in my illustration skills as I thought I wasn’t solid enough at regular drawing. This is a terrible mistake that I feel many students make. I sorta had to shovel deep and realize the way I created when I was younger and that really helped cultivate a new side of me as I learned how to pour myself into and out of my work again and it was fun and special. Looking back, I think mustering up the courage to find confidence in illustration helped me in the long run. Though, at times I still struggle with thinking that I’m still not good enough at particular things. The only competition I have is with myself. ​0​4) Did it take you a long time to find a working style that you are satisfied with? For the most part I advise for makers of things to stay away from the trap of a “working style”. And it’s mighty easy to stumble or choose something and milk it, which is the feeling I get from the majority of artists and designer’s portfolios. It’s easy to stick with turning over the same old tires on the same old asphalt. I realize I have a certain feel to my body of work, but each day my head’s approach to life is so different (heck each minute sometimes) that I try to trust my gut instincts. I just try to speak from my heart, which ends up in my gut sometimes. A lot of times I trust good ol’ intuition. Of course, some projects require a bit more fine tuning than others as something like a logo has more life than say, a concert poster. Even though the logo might have more of a lasting impression, I’d rather put my butter to the blank paper bread of the poster. I love to try new things and just reach and grab at whatever I have around me and in my head, marriaging that with the band and the music in some strange brew. At times it can be quite intoxicating and when you do it enough and for a long while, you end up not even thinking, rather just doing and it’s fluid and non-calculating. This is when it becomes pure, this is when design becomes true language. I’ve had some projects where I’ll be told about it from a client and I’ll immediately have a vision in my head of how it should look, and then go home and start teaching it how to walk. Items like CD packages are very similar to logos because you’ve got to really give out something that you don’t mind sticking around a while in the lock-down of identity for a product or persona. There have been a few CDs that have happened out in a matter of a couple hours. The majority though, I like to have enough time to tackle and build in three separate sessions. But, I really don’t like sitting on projects for a long time. And usually the client has more of a personal care for a CD than a poster, so it might take a three act play or teeter tottering until all sides are fixed to fancy. I’ve had a few CDs that have stretched to almost a year. Being that my work is recognizable to a hands-on aesthetic, I’m sure most think that I don’t touch a computer. This is true and not true. I try to build as much as I can by hand as I love that connection I get. The screen barrier between me getting dirty with my work has bothered me and created anxieties with my work since day one in formal design class when I was thrown on a computer to mash buttons. I do what I can by hand and then use the computer as a layout and printing tool and I use it to correct or help put the finish on some items. Most designers forget that the computer is only a tool. If I could have it my complete way, I wouldn’t use a computer at all. I have made several projects in this way, but it’s hard to do it all in this fashion anymore and I have a wide format ink jet printer to print a lot of my more complex poster works with. The computer has ruined and helped designers. But, overall I feel that if it’s treated with respect and not used as substitute brains, then a designer will truly show his or her meat and potatoes. For the most part, I get a little disappointed in the output from a vast majority of designers as it all feels far away like an afterthought that doesn’t count, or simply as a decorating kit or pre-fabricated template you buy at a craft store. But, I try to keep my disgruntled burly bears close to my own heels. As long as I am creating what needs to be created from my own little corner of the basement, then I am a pretty happy camper. Though, the computer has broken many a bulb, not only with designers, but also with attitudes toward treating the designer with respect. Maybe it’s always been this way, but it’s easy for me to think that I can throw an iPhone and hit somebody who thinks they know graphic design because they can change the colors on their myspace or blog (and I’d have to borrow their iPhone to do so). It’s great that creativity is being fused with daily interaction, in a sense, but it can get a little confusing for people. I don’t think it should be reserved for a certain few, but I feel that everybody thinks they are a graphic designer now. It’s like trying to keep the raccoons out of the patch of sweet corn. You’ve just got to find the right gauge of wire to shock the perimeter with so they will find other food to steal and nibble. And there are still those who are hungry enough to go find and get the good stuff on their own. I suppose I’ve found myself to be more in tune to old folk artists and with the mindset of the old school designers and illustrators. Folk art is as pure in art and language as cave painting and daily ancient living. I like the idea of somebody just up and making something out of the blue because they’ve got to get their story out for themselves. Last summer I went from The Museum of Modern Art to the American Folk Art Museum in New York City in an afternoon and found a more pure-incentive to making things from the folk artists than the artists and designers across the street. It was refreshing. I had been enjoying my personal study of folk art history the past four or five years, but seeing it out of the pages of a book or web site really gave it a new light. And to see that most folk art has pushed into some avenues of the mainstream is really interesting, though chokes the purity from it original conceptual intention. I find that a lot of artists and designers are just as much about making themselves as important as the work they are producing. I just have never understood this idea. So, what individuals are my art and design in kin with? There are many, and it goes beyond just one field, but here is the short list: Grandma Gibson / Jim Henson / Stanley Donwood / Lester Beall / Saul Bass / Seymour Chwast & Pushpin Studio / Paul Klee / Ivan Chermayeff / Henryk Tomaszewski / Art Chantry / Vaughn Oliver / Edward Gorey / Saul Steinberg / Bill Traylor / Ray Johnson / Eric Carle / Cy Twombly / Robert Rauschenberg / Henry Darger / Hans Schleger…to name a few. There are a few items I’ve created that I can tell don’t speak right in retrospect (and they are probably obvious to others as well). These were the ones that caught me in a bad mood, exhaustion or in a lack of time. It’s so hard not to let the daily life and emotions influence the work. And in my case I’ve never been able to just chase my dreams, as I’ve had to work full-time day jobs and at times part-time jobs on top of those, and then slide my work into late nights and weekends (and I always had a girlfriend on top of that…now, a wife). It can be a hard struggle for a healthy balance. I just try to approach it with the idea that I am a man and a man who happens to make things. I am doing what I need to be doing and working hard towards the goal of some day having all of the clocks wound on my time. I have been fortunate in my choices of day jobs. I admire those who wish to live in near-poverty designing for bands and independent projects, but there is no money in it at all and it’s easy for people to take advantage of you. I tried it for a few short stints, but got tired quickly of scraping by and relying on musician’s responsibility of paying me and I ran out of belongings to sell to pay the rent. Throwing out the few bad apple clients, I must say I can’t complain too much as I’ve been blessed with some great people to not only work with, but also to have relationships with beyond the art. Janitorial and groundskeeping had me for 5 years and I loved it. The pay isn’t great, but I was alone and within my thoughts and had time to write and actually make a few things while on the clock. Also, I was able to bring home whatever stuff I could dig out of the dumpster. I’m still chipping at a 15,000 page stack of bricked paper that I found in a dumpster 6 years ago. Currently, I am in the second year of being trapped in a cubicle as a data entryman. It’s a great job, it’s not too difficult, I work with people I know, I walk to work, I’m able to get my teeth fixed and am setting aside some money now for my future, but I don’t plan to marry it as it’s not what I need to be doing with my talents. Many days I can’t sit still because all I can think about is going home and making things. Design is a way of life for me. It’s easy for it to start to take over at times, but I’ve been working on a better balance of it by getting up at 5:00 in the morning, before the “junk” pollution of the day. I love getting up before the crickets and getting to work. Even if I’m filling up on books and movies, it’s still work for me. But, it’s not really work, it’s just what I enjoy and I kinda need it to aid survival. If a designer only puts their design mind onto paper / screen into a 9 to 5 crack, then they might want to think about looking into other lines of life work to chew on. ​0​5) Do you do a lot of self promotion, and how? I’ve been in an interesting position to where my work has been trickling word of mouth for the most part. I’ve been surrounded in positions where I’ve been around musicians a lot and in general, people have been attracted to my creations to where they too want me to make them something. With age, I don’t get out as much to shows, nor do I live with musicians anymore (thankfully). Those days were great, but that kind of lifestyle can’t be taken seriously forever. But, it helped shape me in some way. And I’ve established myself, somewhat. It still amazes me that my work is speaking in the volume that it has. It’s certainly nothing of major impact, but it means a lot to me. For many years I’ve also been at a constant with submitting large quantities of my work to yearly design magazine annuals. This breaks my bank for sure, but it’s the best way of promotion as the work gets spread around the world quickly. I have contacts in many countries who found me this way and thus, offer me entry into their books, magazines, contests or give me a shot to make something for them. The internet is a great source too, of course. Recently I’ve somehow caught a breathe of fresh air from the web currents and realize the easy importance of putting myself out there on it. It’s a strange world though, and I’m still a bit ignorant of it, but I’m becoming more comfortable. I used to not be into self-promotion much. Not only that, I just didn’t have much time with it, being weighed down by day jobs and life stuff. And I’m a believer of the work speaking for itself and letting it take time to mature and incubate. Right now I’m looking at how much weight my portfolio has gained and am seeing what alternate routes I can walk with it. I’ve always planned to be doing my best work, for me, but I’ve never really pushed it as hard until now, as the big No. 30 looms. True, I am making what I want to make, but I don’t wish to be working a full-time job much longer. I have alot more to say and in different varieties of value packs and I just need more second hands to say it in. 0​6) Lastly, because I’m interested in doing show posters, do you have any advice on positioning oneself into that market?

I tell a lot of people a similar thing that I’ve heard Quentin Tarantino say to aspiring filmmakers, (to paraphrase here) “Just go and make what you need to make and do it at whatever cost.” Just get out there and make things and get those things out, even if you go broke or worn out doing it. Catch fire and start a paper trail. I was fortunate to not only love devouring music since the day my ears could, but ended up in positions to where I was surround by musicians and / or individuals with like-minded inner ear infestations. Most importantly, I found that I could merge the things I loved into a cohesive music and art stomping ground. My last couple of college​ ​years I befriended several bands and musicians and had my own little business on the side from class, making show posters and CD packages. After four and a half years of college and exhausting all my design class options…AND ability to fail Algebra four times and even an art history course…I had a higher calling to quit spinning my own wheels and dropped college from the daily schedule, among many other things weighing me down at the time. It was gutsy, but one of the most crucially sound decisions I’ve ever made. I moved from the Bible Belt Buckle comforts of Springfield and into a big, orange, dilapidated house in the middle of a shady section of Kansas City, Missouri with a band that had become my best friends. I almost didn’t do it as my pants pockets were turned inside-out and thoughts of sticking around the family farm to save up money kept me down. I think a lot of people were very disappointed in me too for quitting school. But, my decision was made and I believe in following the heart instead of stopping up the artery. I would have been miserable to stay at home and I had bigger fields to plow and sew. And I didn’t need a piece of paper saying what I was supposed to be doing. Most importantly, only I can tell myself what I should do with me. -djg

[spartanendurance-blog]

Stephanie vs the HH12HR By Stephanie Huntsman

Stephanie Huntsman explains in her own words, the thoughts and memories of the HH12HR in Wintergreen, 2016. In August, I was one of ten #HH12HR finishers in Wintergreen, VA; I went into the event not knowing what to expect. While my goal was to finish – mostly because I couldn’t bear the thought of having to explain to my Dad when he picked me up that I did not – it was a marker to see where I was at in my preparation for #WorldsToughestMudder that following November. Throughout the twelve hours, there were many moments where I thought I wasn’t going to make it, namely while carrying that damn log and my ruck up the “Death March” hill; coming back to our base camp and seeing Dylan Forsyth and Tony "La Tigre" Matesi was one of the brightest moments of that day.

Fast forward six months later, and the “Las Vegas” Super held the opportunity to attempt the #HurricaneHeat, HH12HR, and #SpartanSuper one right after another. Initially, I signed up for just the HH and the Super, knowing that it was two weeks after #BFX24 (BattleFrog Series’ inaugural 24-hour OCR), and unsure of how I would be feeling after that race. With the newly enforced Monday registration cut-off, I signed up for the HH12HR the Friday prior to the event, as I was feeling relatively recovered a week out from BFX24, and a lingering health problem that I developed after BattleFrog Las Vegas had been absent. In publicly inquiring to confirm this would be allowed by the krypteia, there were a number of criticisms made, namely that I needed to respect the HH12HR and shouldn’t underestimate it; fortunately, although the individuals making these comments were unaware of my previous completion in addition my ongoing training, the krypteia were. I felt like I would be cheating myself if I only attempted the HH and the Super; my experience in Wintergreen had been incredibly introspective, and I could not resist the challenge of another, let alone the temptation to chase all three.

En route to Littlefield on Friday, I kept thinking if my decision to leave my Frogskins top at home was a mistake; I had survived similar temperatures in Miami with just my windbreaker, so I convinced myself that all would be well. Lesson Learned – If you think you might need something, bring it.

(Disclaimer: I may very well have the sequence slightly out of order for this, so please bear with me!)

Our Hurricane Heat commenced with four warm-up laps and a few rounds of push-ups before we split into two teams and began our first challenge: moving sandbags for the HH12HR from pallets in the festival area up the hill to the Checkpoint. Team 1 worked in near perfect synchronicity, with runners bringing the additional bags to the hill, and a sort of relay system shuttling them to our neatly stacked pile. As a result, we completed the take first, and earned a rest break while Team 2 completed their penalty PT. 

We then chose tires to carry with us through more or less of the first mile of the course, transitioning from hard pack to sand, and finally a high-crawl through the creek. One of the more enjoyable tasks, once you got your rhythm down, was the log roll with your tire; having your hands at 10 and 2 allowed for momentum to be easily maintained (to the extent I had to pause so as not to allow too much of a gap between me and my teammates.) 

We then stacked them neatly and jumped back into the creek for one of my favorites: hydroburpees. At this point, dusk had fallen, and with it the temperature; I still felt confident that my windbreaker would be enough for the HH12HR, but this was my first moment of doubt. As we came back to base camp, we formed three lines and clipped our wrists and ankles together before the two individuals on the outside donned the blacked-out goggles and left the middle individual as our guide. This, along with the rest of the HH, required communication between teammates, and resulted in quite a few laughs. I’m not sure how far we went like this, as I had my goggles on; after a short waterbreak, we unclipped our ankles and completed the hill climb (over tires) to the barbed wire crawl and finally the descent. 

It wasn’t until I saw the hill in daylight on Saturday morning that I was in disbelief we actually did that. Once we unclipped, it was a race through the crawl again, this time with tires under the wire as well (unsure if they were there the first time), and a burpee penalty if you didn’t stay low. Just when we’d finally dried off, it was back over the ramps, through the mud, and ultimately under the dunk wall. After some PT following this, the three of us attempting to complete both the HH and the HH12HR were released to join our fellow 12HR comrades. I darted to bag check to trade my CamelBack for my ruck, and I don’t think I’ve ever donned a windbreaker faster. I don’t think I’ve ever craved ruck burpees more than I did while we stood there waiting to complete registration and gear check; there is nothing fun about shivering while soaking wet, and pacing your movement to keep warm but not over-exert yourself. 

100 Ruck Burpees and 100 Burpees later, I had finally stopped shivering. In hindsight, this was a terrible realization: yes, I was no longer shivering, but I was not sweating either.

Then began the team portion of the HH12HR (AROO Team Rhabdo…And I’m with you Travis, maybe not the best topic given the circumstances, LOL.) We moved out to select our team logs (telephone poles, if logs doesn’t seem quite fitting enough), and I heard a rumor somewhere we did close to two miles through the course with them? We traversed over road and through sand, had a few terrifying moments over some hills, and finally raced back to place them where we found them. Then, we brought out our empty sandbags, and raced over to fill them ¾ of the way. Note to Self: When sandbags are a required item, don’t just go to ACE and buy the only ones they stock, look around and find ones that aren’t 25L (I made the mistake of Googling approximate weight of 20L of sand, it’s around 66lbs. Times two bags.) 

Once we returned with our bags, we were given five minutes to construct whatever means of carrying them we preferred; I opted for securing one to my ruck with paracord, and transformed the other into a wreck-bag with duct tape. We then moved back to what would become our basecamp, and dropped our rucks for the first time since the burpees. We were instructed to re-tie or re-configure our sandbags however we needed, and then headed to complete the kid’s course with both bags in tow. Those two bags went over, under, and through every obstacle on that course, sometimes at the same time, sometimes one at a time, and sometimes by two separate people. 

Although we were told the team to complete the mission first would be able to set out on the next portion of the heat first, those divisions blurred as our time on the course elapsed. It transitioned from helping your teammates over obstacles, to carrying a third bag for those of us who could only manage one of our own (bless your heart, Travis), to fellow comrades helping anyone who was struggling, teammate or not – THAT is what the Hurricane Heat is about, whether the regular or the 12-Hour.

From here, it was onto the individual portion: five items, collected in sequential order, with an unknown time limit; instructions for the next task would be given once the previous one had been completed, we we were to stay on course or on the access roads at all times. The first was a sandbag out past the A-Frame, simple and straightforward once you figured out where the course could be shortcutted. The second was retrieving those tires we took out to the creek during the HH, again, straightforward, but man was I not looking forward to that sand. My heart dropped through my feet as I read what the stipulations of the third task were: we’d be retrieving a sandbag from the top of the hill we’d placed them upon during the HH (okay, not the end of the world, even with your ruck) while also carrying our two personal sandbags. 

After choking back tears as I re-secured a bag to my ruck, I lost myself for a moment allowing the task before me to cloud my mission, Tony was kind enough to give me a verbal kick in the ass to snap me back to reality. After two unsuccessful attempts to put my ruck+sandbag on, I swallowed my pride and asked Justin for help; Tony mentioned letting some sand out of my bags, but at that point it wasn’t really an option, as I had lent the remainder of my duct tape to another HH12HR’er and to tie and retie would be time-consuming. Justin traded his loose bag with mine, and together we set off to complete the third task. I would stop three times on the way over to set that loose bag down, recollect myself, and move forward before even reaching the base of the hill. Not even a few yards into it, my legs gave out. 

Rather than expend the energy to stand back up in the sand, I began to crawl up the hill, flipping the loose bag end over end in front of me. At first, it seemed to work well, but the sand continued to grow colder, and I was no longer moving fast enough to keep from shivering; the breaks became more frequent and bursts of uphill movement shortened. 

Thank you to everyone who offered kind words and motivation as you passed, and to those who checked on me when I was resting. Just around daybreak, I had a fleeting thought that it would be fine, the sun would be up soon and I would be able to feel my hands and feet again. I looked up the hill, and guesstimated I was about 15 yards from the top – almost there – I rolled to a seated position to collect myself for that final uphill push. Unfortunately, that push never happened – the next thing I remember, I was wrapped in Justin’s emergency blanket, with gloves and handwarmers, giving my name to the race medical staff, and trying to force out a stern “No” when asked if they needed to pull me (that proved to actually be a very rhetorical question on their part.) As if to add insult to injury, my DQ from medical also meant I was DQ’ed from running the Super, although it was probably for the best that I wasn’t allowed to make the attempt. 

For “the rest of the story”, you’ll have to talk to one of the nineteen incredible individuals who were successful in their endeavor; I’d especially suggest Michael Bell, as he finished what I couldn’t, and is super humble about the entire endeavor.

Tony, I apologize for disregarding your “listen to your body” comment, I’m quite stubborn about it when it comes to hypothermia, because I can usually embrace the suck and get through it. In hindsight, I realized that I didn’t break a sweat at any point during the HH12HR, and that should have been a red flag to me but I ignored it (I will admit, I do take it a bit for granted that we have medical on-site, ignoring those facts could prove fatal in future events I plan to take on.) 

Thank you, sir, for another incredible event, and I look forward to future HH12HRs with you, and when finances and work permits, the #Agoge – which I think you knew in Wintergreen. The HH12HR is never an event to underestimate, regardless of the terrain or the climate, but it is one that I cannot recommend enough if you want to challenge yourself. As much as my heart broke on that hill, I never quit; although I DNF’s through DQ, I fought tooth and nail to never accept defeat, and I walked away ultimately stronger because of it.

[kaleidodreams]

40 Questions - Meme for Fic Writers

Well, I only got one ask for this game, but I really wanted to answer more questions, so I’ve just decided to answer all of them!

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic. - I don't know if I really have a "comfort zone"... Maybe family drama and dealing with characters' backstories?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to? - Hmm, fake dating seems like it would be pretty fun to try to write. I just wouldn't know which characters to use.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole? - The whole A/B/O thing... Yeah, no.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them? - Maybe five or six? And you can check out the answer to Question 37 if you want to know what most of them are.

5. Share one of your strengths. - People seem to like my original characters.

6. Share one of your weaknesses. - I'm not very good at description.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. - This is from Ashes to Ashes:

However, the more time that passed, the more otou-sama lost himself in his work and the more distant we became. Our house, which had always been full of laughter and smiles when okaa-sama was alive and healthy, might as well have been a cemetery itself, the ghost of her memory haunting us who remained. Even as young as I was, I realized that otou-sama would never be able to truly recover from his grief as long as we stayed there, where the scent of okaa-sama's favorite perfume still seemed to linger in the air and every room remained a museum to the woman who once lived there because otou-sama couldn't bear the thought of putting her things away.

I just really like the "house is a cemetery" metaphor. (By the way, that story is written from Rei Hino’s point of view, if that wasn’t clear from the title.)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. - This is from To Build a Home:

"Take if off and put it back the way it was," he ordered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But why? You always said my bed looked so cute."

"Yeah, your bed. But this is my bed, and I don't want it to look cute."

"Your bed?" She set down an ugly-cute hippo plush and arched an eyebrow. "Isn't it our bed now?"

He rubbed at his temple. "Yes, of course, but… You know what I mean." Mamoru pointed an accusing finger at a very familiar blanket – one that was too small to properly fit the queen-sized bed. "I am not having sex on a bed covered in bunnies and crescent moons!"

"That's never stopped you before. We did it all the time –"

"You're missing the point, Usako! We're adults now. Isn't it about time you outgrew all this cutesy crap?"

He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Oh, I see. I can move into your oh-so-sophisticated apartment, just not my 'cutesy crap'." She grabbed an empty cardboard box from off the floor and started throwing her plush toys in it with a force that made Mamoru very glad she wasn't pummeling them at him. "If that's how you really feel, then maybe we shouldn't move in together at all!"

I like it because I tend to have trouble writing arguments, but this one turned out exactly how I wanted it to, and I can just picture the scene so vividly.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write? - Hmm, probably Melting Ice? It took me about eight years -- I started writing it a couple of years before I actually started posting it -- to finally finish the whole thing. Sure, it’s a long fic (over 150,000 words), but in comparison, I managed to write Spirit of Fire, which is almost twice as long, in only two or three years (ignoring the side stories added later).

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write? - Probably my first fics because back then I wasn’t as self-conscious about my writing. But later in my career, I seem to recall Blood On His Hands being really easy and fast to write until I got to the last chapter. Honestly, I think the ending took me longer to figure out than the rest of the story!

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby? - Both!

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more? - This is easiest to choose with Sailor Moon, so can I just say the entire SuperS season/Dream Arc? Obviously because of the Chibiusa/Helios OTP factor, but also because we learn about the Inners’ families and Elysion/the Golden Kingdom, both subjects that I love exploring.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across? - I learned about this from a post on Tumblr, but it’s REALLY helpful to run your story through a screen reader (I just use Google Translate). I think I’m pretty good at catching spelling and grammar errors, but one thing I have trouble with is missing words. Hearing the story read aloud instead of just reading it to myself and mentally filling in the blanks makes the skips so much easier to find. I also worry a lot about the flow of my writing, so I figure if it doesn’t sound too terrible being read by a computer, it’s probably not as awful as I think it is!

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across? - Probably the "avoid adverbs" rule. Sometimes using an adverb is the best choice!

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose? - Oh, man, this is totally impossible to choose... Um, To Be By Your Side? I really don't know.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be? - If I had to, I would no doubt pick Chibiusa/Helios, but I’m really glad I don’t! I enjoy being able to write a variety of couples and imagine I would get bored fairly quick if I was limited to just writing one OTP forever, as much as I may love them.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? - It depends on the story, but most of the time it’s out of order, which is frankly annoying, but it seems to work for me.

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? - Not really, unless you count screenwriting and research tools.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse? - Haha, I remember when I first started writing fanfiction as a teenager, there were four characters I considered my muses: Helios (obs!), Shigure from Fruits Basket (who is a writer himself), Touya from Card Captor Sakura, and Tooya from Ceres: Celestial Legend (not sure why, though, since I never wrote for Ceres). I guess I would still consider Helios my muse?

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions. - At my desk in my bedroom, with the room at a comfortable temperature and absolute quiet.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? - I tend to edit while I write, which I know isn’t generally considered the best way to do things, but it works for me. So I can’t really answer this question definitively.

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions). (Skipping this one unless someone wants to make a suggestion for a passage.)

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why? - Spirit of Fire, because while I love the story and the characters, I think it could be better written, especially the earlier chapters.

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics? - I did take down a first chapter of a planned multi-part and reworked it into a one-shot when I decided I didn’t want to write the rest of it, if that counts. (The Legend, if you’re interested.) Otherwise, no.

25. What do you look for in a beta? - Basically someone who wants to beta for me. *laughs* Like I said before, I consider myself pretty good at catching spelling and grammar goofs, so I don't feel like I really need a beta, but if someone offers, it doesn't hurt to have a second pair of eyes!

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you? - I've done so in the past, and if somebody asks me, I would probably be willing to do it again. I would say I focus mainly on spelling/grammar, occasionally making suggestions or asking questions if something seems off (like a character feels OOC or something).

27. How do you feel about collaborations? - I've never really been a part of one, so I don't have much of an opinion. If you're good friends, it seems like it would be a lot of fun, but maybe a bit difficult if you have different styles.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. - his lordship Chaos, Allekha, and commas_and_ampersands 

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose? - I honestly can’t think of any. I have enough sequels and prequels of my own stuff to write! *laughs*

30. Do you accept prompts? - Not unless I’m doing a drabble game, which I haven’t done in years, or I’m taking part of some writing challenge. Just random prompts, though? No. I like to write what I want to write.

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant? - I’d say I’m middle-of-the-road between the two, closer to being strict about being canon compliant.

32. How do you feel about smut? - Despite being asexual, I’m a fan!

33. How do you feel about crack? - A lot of it is really stupid, but with the right writer and idea, crack can be brilliantly funny. I usually only read it on recommendation, though.

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con? - It’s not something I go looking for as a reader, but I don’t mind if I come across it and it’s handled well. I’ve written some dub-con myself, mostly in the form of drunk sex, but also some incidents involving magic. Overall, though, I’m really a HUGE fan of consent when it comes to sex scenes. Consent is sexy!

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character? - Yes, of course. Done it before and I’ll probably do it again!

36. Which is your favorite site to post fic? - I like AO3 and FF.net equally well.

37.Talk about your current wips.

Friends With Benefits (Kaleido Star) - This is the only WIP I’m actively posting. It’s a sequel to Blood On His Hands, and it’s about Layla and Yuri engaging in a, well, “friends with benefits” arrangement, leading to complications when they fall in love. 

The Bonds We Choose (Yuri!! On Ice) - A sequel to It’s Complicated, taking place about four years later. Yuri, Otabek, and Mila have settled into their unusual relationship -- Yuri and Otabek are queerplatonic partners while Otabek is also dating/living with Mila -- when a drunken mistake at the Olympics changes their lives forever.

Metamophosis (Sailor Moon) - This is kinda a prequel to To Be By Your Side, telling the story of how Helios became priest of Elysion.

Stolen Dreams (Sailor Moon) - Ha, this is the only non-sequel/prequel story on the list! But it’s about an incubus who plans to get revenge on Helios by seducing a grown-up Chibi-Usa, who’s under a lot of stress due to her upcoming college entrance exams.

38. Talk about a review that made your day. - I was really happy when @floraone favorited and wrote a review for my Sailor Moon Smutember entry, Head of the Class. Knowing that someone like her, who IMO writes the BEST sex scenes I’ve ever read, enjoyed it... Well, like the question said, it really made my day! I also was pleasantly surprised to get any reviews at all for my last two YOI fics, Lonely Hearts and No Risk, No Reward, since Minako/Celestino and Sara/Emil are both extremely rare pairs. I seriously didn’t think anybody would read them, so I was thrilled with the reviews I got.

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them? - Occasionally, and I just ignore them.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one). (Again, skipping, unless someone wants to suggest a story.)

[placetobenation]

Back in June 2013 the Place to Be Nation invaded the information super-highway with the launch of the website you are visiting just now. Since then a back catalogue has grown to include thousands of podcasts and written pieces, some of which you might have missed and it is my arduous task pleasure to go through the archives and bring you some of the highlights of PTBN through the years.

First up this week as always is the audio offering, and on this week in 2015 was the Place to Be Podcast Annual Halloween Spooktacular, now is its 5th year. In this episode, the P.I.Cs welcome in a group of costumed party goers for discussions on all things Halloween including masked wrestlers, Halloween Havoc, costumes and more! And what would a PTBP Halloween special be without some special guests?!

So fire up this action-packed episode by clicking here, grab a pumpkin full of candy, put on your costume and let the guys get you in that Halloween spirit.

And whilst your listening to the show, and putting your costume on, have read about a legendary WWE stipulation around ladies taking clothes off! On the back on PTBN’s hugely successful Greatest WWE Wrestler Ever project, Stacey O’Loughlin continued to argue for the underrated ladies of the Attitude Era and beyond. Here Stacey takes a Diva Deep Dive into the (and I cannot believe I’m finally getting to write this) psychology of the Bra and Panties Match! Stacey’s arguments are always well researched and though out (she was once able to make a compelling argument that Michelle McCool was the modern day Stan Hansen!) so give this a read and she may just change your opinion on these matches.

Yes, of all the subjects I could have chosen for this week, leading up to the first ever all-women’s WWE PPV, we’re going to talk about Bra and Panties matches. Think of it as a “how far we’ve come” moment. For whatever issues they’ve had building to Evolution, it is still going to be light years removed from… well, this.

And yet, I am here to tell you that the Bra and Panties match is not without its charms. No, not those charms. Wrestling charms! Yes, really. Bear with me.

As I went through and watched them all, the interesting thing about the Bra and Panties matches is that they actually were… interesting.

Of course, the problem – well, the wrestling problem at least, obviously there are MYRIAD real problems with this sexist bullshit that I already yelled extensively about in the beginning. But the issue in a purely wrestling sense is that they stemmed from a major logic hole: a match where the loser’s clothes are removed, involving popular babyface women whom the crowd wanted to see with their clothes removed, neccesarily makes the crowd want the babyface to lose the match, and thus her clothes. This leads to absurd situations like the face being booed for “kicking out” of an undressing, or fighting desperately to keep her kit on during the match only to happily strip for the crowd moments later after she’s won.

But if you get beyond that plot hole, the matches themselves were worked in a fascinating way. Honestly, they often seemed to employ more internal logic (and wrestling moves) than a lot of regular matches.

Yes, wrestling moves.

Almost every time I watched a Bra and Panties match I noted to myself with surprise just how much wrestling there was. Sometimes it would be someone hitting suplexes or power moves that they wouldn’t otherwise attempt. Sometimes it was some nifty hold or counter they’d use out of nowhere. But most of the time, it was because of the rollups.

I think it was at InVasion in a tag team B&P match that It happened for the first time. It being, Trish Stratus rolling Torrie Wilson up into a pinning combination and taking her pants off while she was upside down. Nifty, right?

Once this B&P match hack was discovered the whole game changed. Next time someone went for the same rollup but they got reversed and beaten. Other women tried doing different types of rollups to get their opponent upside down. Then they’d get countered on the ground into even more pinning holds. Suddenly we get to Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson on July 4th 2002 and they go into a full blown, balls out, Eddie vs. Dean rollup counter sequence in the middle of a Bra and Panties match.

Now on the surface, doing a big Eddie vs. Dean gambit in a match without pinfalls sounds pretty silly and I’m sure you all laughed. But it’s not silly! They’re not going for pins, they’re trying to get the pants!

It’s genius!

Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie had a B&P match when their feud of the century had cooled off to a gentle simmer after Royal Rumble 2003. They tried all the tricks, including the rollups, and ended up coming up with a new position entirely: draping someone over the top rope to un-pants them. It was fun stuff, and again, very clever. But Tazz sniggered halfway through about how, “Well, this is no Benoit vs. Angle…” and this infuriated me like you wouldn’t believe because honestly, he was right. This definitely wasn’t Benoit vs. Angle.

Torrie vs. Dawn was worked WAY smarter than that bullshit.

As the years went on, more and more Bra and Panties techniques were developed. The tops were always easy enough to remove, so they key to victory was still in getting your opponent into a vulnerable position to get those pesky pants off.

For example, Candice Michelle had started using a Tarantula variation when she started wrestling, and when she used it on Maria in a Bra and Panties Gauntlet match, Maria escaped and used Candice’s convenient upside-down position to steal her pants. Candice learned the lesson and the next time she was in a B&P, SHE used the Tarantula position to take Melina’s pants off from underneath. Learned psychology!

Another one of my favourite B&P finishes was again in the aforementioned Gauntlet, when Torrie started arguing with the ref about something or other, even going so far as to try to hit him. As the referee blocked Torrie’s shots by grabbing her hands, Maria came from behind and pantsed her! (Fair dinkum that whole Gauntlet was fun as all get out until the disappointing, Mae Young-related finish.)

When Trish Stratus returned to TV in 2005 after injury she had a novel approach to being in a Bra and Panties match: wear ridiculously large boots over ridiculously tight pants. Good luck ladies – those bad boys ain’t coming off in a million years! Living Legend Trish wasn’t fucking around.

Even better was the fatal four way at Great American Bash 2006. Michelle McCool was doing her heel schoolteacher thing, and during the match someone ripped off her skirt only for her to be wearing another, smaller skirt underneath! More genius!

My favourite Bra and Panties match (imagine having such a thing!) is one of the very last ones, Melina vs. Candice Michelle in early 2007. Ashley was getting the Playboy push that year, so Women’s Champ Melina vowed to go through all of the Playboy covergirls on the roster. As Melina railed against these women for taking their clothes off, Candice came out to defend the Playboy sisterhood, dared Melina to try to take HER clothes off and challenged her to a Bra and Panties match!

Logical build, storytelling, stakes… this thing had everything!

The match itself was good too. Candice did the Tarantula spot I mentioned before. They also did some fun wrestling on the ground, where they were working holds but someone reaching for an item of clothing left them open to be countered into another hold, then the other guy would reach and get countered, and so on.

I can’t stress enough how fascinating it was to watch the women incorporate the task of trying to grab your opponents’ clothes into wrestling matches, and come up with solutions. I adore the idea of “problem solving” in wrestling matches.

It reminds me of something I noticed in the Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James matches. The first time they faced each other during the storyline, Mickie had a hammerlock on and Trish found herself stuck. She couldn’t do the ‘bend down’ counter that Triple H taught her, because that would push her ass into Mickie and she didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. Then when Trish did counter and put a headlock on, Mickie just groped her breast to escape it. Trish was struggling, because she was trying to wrestle without leaving her body vulnerable to these unwanted advances. Mickie was basically using sexual harrassment as a defensive tactic, and Trish in turn had to solve the problem of trying to win the match AND defend herself from wandering hands at the same time.

It’s easy to focus on Bra and Panties matches as a kind of Divas Era shibboleth but there are examples of this kind of creative problem solving in all of the “sexy”, exploitative Divas matches. I already talked about the legitimately fantastic, BAZILLION STAR LINGERIE PILLOW FIGHT. There was that Trish vs. Stacy Mud Match where Trish was thrown off the stage into the pool, so they could at least elicit “Holy Shit!” chants and get a highlight reel bump in before having to splash around like morons.

Speaking of splashing, even the damn water fights were fun! There was one on SmackDown that Victoria made her own, wearing floaties and a snorkel to the ring, slipping and sliding around, and taking a bloody Styles Clash from a 100lbs. woman in the middle of a puddle. There was also a water-related battle royal in 2007 that was basically a perfectly fine battle royal disguised as a water fight.

When the Divas Title was created in 2008, the first contenders for the championship were both decided in ‘Golden Dreams’ matches – basically, pole matches. Now, pole matches are pretty universally terrible but honest to God, the second Golden Dreams match may be the best pole match I’ve ever seen. Once again, the women were the masters of getting the best out of two minutes and a shitty stipulation.

Speaking of poles, in 2006 Torrie and Candice had a Paddle on a Pole Match that has to be seen to be believed.

The first move of this match is Torrie fingering Candice’s arsehole. I swear to God this is fair dinkum. Candice rips her shirt off for no reason. Then Torrie takes over and starts DROPPING BOMBS, hitting a Stinger Splash, a spear and a God damn BUCKLE BOMB out of absolute nowhere. She naturally follows this heavy artillery up with… the Stinkface, but when she shoves her ass in Candice’s face Candice GIVES HER A FINGER UP THE ASS RECEIPT AND WINS! What a payoff! Psychology 101!

The prize for retrieving the paddle was getting to spank the loser, but Candice graciously offers her own ass up first and they just end up spanking each other and giggling and what the fuck am I doing with my life that I’ve ended up here writing about this stuff in earnest.

My point is, even with all of the stupid sexy bullshit, and even with the girls having to throw kayfabe to hell to dance or strip or playfully spank each other afterwards, during the matches themselves these women are still trying to make it work. Still trying to approach these absurd ass stipulations from a wrestling angle and figuring out cool ways to incorporate wrestling moves or psychology into them.

My mantra throughout this entire series has been that you can find good wrestling absolutely anywhere. Even in the middle of a Bra and Panties match, if you look hard enough. I used to think rollups in these matches were silly, but then I looked again and realised what they were trying to accomplish and the logic involved. Which is more than can be said for a damn lot of regular wrestling matches.

Given these preposterous situations, I thought the Divas often did a great job to hunker down and work the matches as well as they possibly could. Which is all we could ask of them, really.

The matches listed below are what I would describe as the best, most fun B&P-style matches. If you don’t believe me, have a look for yourself.

Next week I’m going to tackle someone who has featured heavily in this piece, and who will also feature this Sunday at the Evolution PPV. If I’m still alive after watching the Evolution PPV that is.

Check it out: Trish & Lita vs. Stacy & Torrie – Bra and Panties Match (InVasion 2001) Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson – Lingerie Match (No Mercy 2001) Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson – Bra and Panties (Smackdown, July 4th 2002) Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie – Bra and Panties Match (Smackdown, February 13th 2003) Trish & Ashley vs. Victoria, Candice & Torrie – Bra and Panties Match (October 3rd 2005) Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle – Paddle on a Pole Match (August 28th 2006) Melina vs. Candice Michelle – Bra and Panties Match (Raw, March 19th 2007) Memorial Day Divas Beach Blast Battle Royal (Raw, May 28th 2007) Michelle & Cherry vs. Victoria & Maryse – Water Fight (Smackdown, March 28th 2008) Golden Dreams Match (Smackdown, July 4th 2008)

[traviswsoul]

Day 27 Portland to Brooks Memorial State Park 0 miles

July 31 3:49 time, 2.004 calories, 13.2 avg mph 1,014' climbed Portland, as it does, sucked me in, I stayed for almost a week between my Uncle's and my friend Terron's. I was only going to stay at Terron's for two night but doubled that to stay and watch the UFC 214 on paper view which he and his brothers were getting.  I'm glad I did, I have always enjoyed UFC, obviously for same bazaar, primal, man reason that had tens of thousands of Romans watching hundreds of gladiators and beasts tear each other apart regularly, I don't claim to understand it but I am glad that it is now a much more tame and civil servicing of our brutal desires.  I also really appreciate watching people do things they are very good at and train hard for, my guilty pleasure is the TV talent show extravaganzas that dominate pop culture like the Voice and America's Got Talent.  Of all the crap on TV I have nothing to say bad about these types of shows, celebrating talent will always be better than another mindless reality show glamorizing drama and dysfunction.  However, cutting to commercial break right before the big moment almost ruins it for me every time knowing how it really is only about money and manipulating us but Grace Vanderveer's performances or seeing anyone be validated with admiration when they are terrified and self doubting is always worth the wait.  I love them because they remind us that people are awesome and despite the highly competitive nature of this dog eat dog world we get to see people rooting for people and being excited about positive things,  we could us more of that, and I'll sit through the commercials for it.  I'll probably complain about capital and consumerism as I do but I'll wait.  The UFC is an exhibition of the top tear of overall human athleticism and even if there wasn't something in my wiring that was pleased by watching men hurt each other (a primal things that baffles me and I'm not proud to admit) I would still be intrigued by these specimens of commitment, determination, nutrition, breadth of study, strength, endurance and will.  It was different this time because I was right in the middle of personally treating  my fitness with more awareness and respect than I ever have. I'm working harder than ever on this trip, observing my bodies adaptations is intriguing, seeing the results is awesome, yet I am no where near the physical capacity or knowledge that a champion fighter has.  This heightened my interest when the opportunity arose to watch what was being hailed as the UFC's most exciting ticket ever, so I stayed and me and Terron got to catch up, talk about life, our struggles, our dreams, women, work and we did some really fun stuff along the way. The first  night at his crib was low key, I arrived before he was done working and luckily there was a key under the mat (don't tell anyone).  I introduced myself to Salmon, his soft, sweet, fat cat and we were soon napping together on the couch.  I fully embraced the nap this Portland vacation knowing well enough how much rest my body was asking for.  I woke up starving as usual and the house he was painting took longer than usual so I went out to find the German spot I knew he was wanting to take me to.  I found Steigelhaus down the street and ordered the pickled vegetable plate, a pretzel of course, and a beer, it was all delicious and soon enough my old buddy showed up and we were thrilled to see each other, a big hug later and we were reunited, it had been years,  he and I met when we starting modeling about the same time in Milan, Italy. We've since been all over the place together as we were the faces of Polo for several years and ended up living near each other in Brooklyn. Oh the memories!  There are several things in my life that I have to give credit to Terron for, none less than Yoga! Terron is the one that took me to my first Yoga class at the Bikram Studio in Union Square in NYC.  That changed my life.  I absolutely would not be who I am or on the path I am had it not been for that. I will forever be grateful to my friend Terron for that blessed gift.  We have had a few ups and downs over the years but when I knew I'd be in Portland he jumped to the top of the list of who I had to call, he's one of those guys you know you could call for anything and he'd do all he could to help you.  A big part of our relationship is how much each of us discovered our selves and grew up along the way parallel to each other.  We were both having exceptional careers in our generation of models and were the stars of our agency for that time.  We both owe a lot to our agent (and my dear friend) Jason Kanner, the man who shaped my 20's more than any other and to whom I'm the most grateful! We made a lot of money, we spent a lot of money, we traveled the world, we became NYC locals and unbeknownst to us great friends along the way.  The second night I was there Brendon, Terron's older brother, drove us to Salem for Karaoke.  The Woods brothers are great singers and karaoke naturals, I wish I could sing like that! They sang the Killers, King's of Leon, Matisyahu, and several other challenging vocalist's hits.  I enjoyed the music and, again, seeing people who are good at something they love and going out and doing it as this was not an amateur karaoke night.  The next day, after a nap of course, we went to the old swimmin hole Terron grew up in and floated the river for an hour.  There was a house there that had a huge telephone pole stuck in the ground,  I assume it was there for exactly the  reason I observed because it had a small platform mounted on top that a hawk had made a nest on.  It was really beautiful, I watched it as long as could,  there were two hawks with white heads and black and gray bodies, absolutely regal and majestic.  I didn't get to see them fly off or see any others arrive although I kept hoping to.  After we got out we recovered the longboards we had stashed in the blackberry bushes at our exit point before we drove down and jumped in so we skated back through a neighborhood, found the truck, and went for prime rib and mashed potatoes, with plenty of Horseradish Cream sauce, just like my brother has always had it and now I guess I'm the same because I ordered a second serving of it!  We were sufficiently sun beat and digesting meat, we called it a day.  The next day the great idea was to drive half an hour to play disc golf. This is something I have been wanting to do for my entire adult life and never had the chance.  Terron is pretty good at it and has a full collection of discs.  That is an activity I could, and plan on, really getting used to!  It's super chill, it's outside, requires very honed skill, there are endless way to improve, it's basically free and required minimal exertion.  Most of my activities require high levels of exertion so I really appreciated the laid back nature of this sport, it's like golf, minus all the country club-ness.  After that we made our way to his parents place for the fight, which was everything you want out a fight night you pay fifty bucks to watch.  Terron and Brenden are certainly UFC super fans and were great to watch it with.  The next day it was back to the real world, err, my real world for the time being. Because I had stayed two extra days Terron drove me 100 miles down the road and up the hill.  It was a 3,000 foot climb and I don't have any part of me that tells me I don't succeed if I don't ride every single mile so we road tripped down along the Columbia river on highway 84 then turned north on 97, crossed the river which is the border and found ourselves in Washington state.  This was the only part of eastern Washington I have ever seen, Maryhill, an uber famous  downhill run that we have had world cup races at every year that was traveling and racing downhill skateboards.  We pulled off at the overlook where you can see most of the hill and I had a mini sentimental moment there with all the memories from a very different part of my life.  It was weird being there and not having a skateboard or a hundred of my friends,  I miss those days, there not over!  The nearest town is Goldendale, another easily missed little town if not for that hill.  We used to stay in the hotels or campsites there and I know it well.  Fifteen miles past that we found the Brooks Memorial state park on the west side of the street and I was "home."  I set up camp while Terron napped on the picnic table and eventually we said our goodbyes, I hope it's not so long again until we reunite.  I climbed into my tent and read more of Thomas Paine's classic The Age Of Reason, I suggest this for everyone.  It's brilliant, it's so many things I have spent the last decade of my life coming to understand all distilled into easily consumed pages and I have been pouring over it, I can't believe this book didn't some to me sooner except for the fact that I know everything that teaches me comes to me at exactly the right time.  The title "The Age of Reason" caught my eye at the Nakima RV Resort on a "give one take one"'  bookshelf in the laundry room.  It sat there amongst fiction and self help books and called to me, I took it, I didn't have one to leave but I was grateful and I don't think my karma will suffer.  It took a few days to make time read among all the demanding writing schedule I have made for myself but now that I did I'm hooked! If you have ever struggled with why religion seems to be such a big shitty man made monster now but can't jump straight to nihilism/ atheism then this books for you.  Paine essentially shits all over religion while maintaining and true scholar's approach to scientific and rational deduction of knowledge.  His point so far is not just that religion is wrong and stupid but that it was flawed from the get go because it was crafted by men in order to make populations more moldable and profitable. We don't need any structure to teach us about God! Creation is the only case that needs to be made or observed in order to understand divinity and our place in it.  I'm only in  the first half but he's already gotten into the triangle being the foundation for math and then science and understanding the rules of the universe. Namely, the movements of the heavens which parallel the law  of physics on earth from which we can understand the magnitude and omniscience of our God, creation, our place, our divinity and reason all without needing any hint of dogma, fundamentalism, sin, shame

[joisapig]

Looking Back and Moving Forward

With the new year resolution made, my life was back on track. So much freedom and happiness in me and I feel like the luckiest woman on earth to have so many close and loved ones supporting me.

¾ of 2016 had been rough from the beginning till after the break up. However, it was also a relief that I got myself out of that shit hole which I kept falling back in the last quarter. It wasn’t easy, and I wouldn’t say I was proud of myself either but I managed to get out of it.

And was I glad I did.

I become the person I am and do things I want to. The experiences were amazing and they filled me to the fullest.

Right after the rough stint, I went to Malacca with my brother and his family in mid Aug. They welcomed me with open arms and the “self-pitiful” me went along and was pulling a long face the whole three days because I was supposedly heart-broken. However, having family around is the best thing ever. They left you alone to your moods but still tried to be there at the same time. For that, I’m grateful.

Estelle invited me to try pole dance with her. At first I was skeptical, I ain’t got no dancing bones in me! Been there, done that! 4 years in modern dance in secondary school. And I still feel stiff as fuck. I suspect it could be my shoulders know. Like cmon, relax man~ But, I still went for it. I joined kfit. What’s there to lose? Nothing. I needed to keep fit anyway. Tried many studios, tbh it was fucking fun. I’ve always love doing new things, more of like challenging myself. Imagine hanging on the pole and doing some awesome tricks but still looking graceful. Well, I can try that, cant I? But, I was err “shy” or should I say lazy? And this is what Estelle told me, “I’m going US the next month and you should really go for classes yourself instead of only when with me. Because this will then prove that you genuinely like it and you aren’t going because I am.” Woah. What?! That was a given challenge. Hey woman, I love it so I’m gonna show you that I really do. And that’s when I did. Went for pole classes myself, made new friends and brought friends in. Fun as fuck. And Estelle returned from US amused and proud of my improvements.

Phuket in Sept was next with liyuan for 5D4N. It was amazing. I said I want to surf and she went right along with me. That was fun and I absolutely enjoyed myself that we went again! It was liberating to do things for myself. I had time. Time for myself which was lost when I didn’t know how to manage.

Then Bangkok in Oct was next with lovely Huiyi and Zhimin. Huiyi’s mentor tagged along and I must say I was a little sad that they didn’t have anything going on. I really wish for her to have someone who’s not him in her life instead. Then there will be future ahead. But Bangkok was fun. I shopped so much! Bought stuff for myself too! I was happpppy!

And in the very same month, I got a surprise from my manager that I’ve got a salary adjustment for my work. It was great news because I felt at least now I’m earning the “right” amount in comparison to others in the society. I love my job. I love IT. And to be recognized for my effort was encouraging because this is a company which values its people. I’m blessed.

In Nov, I’ve decided to join an all girls’ darts league. It was a great decision made. Tiring as it was, I got to meet many people and gained league experiences. It was challenging and for the first few games, I was nervous. I always wish that I can focus. It’s like I am a 3 minutes person. Ooo, I love this, I’m gonna do this and excel in it. Then, I lose focus and it’s gone. But this league, it keeps me going. I didn’t have a choice. It was a commitment. And because I have teammates which I don’t want to “let down”, I practice. And when you practice, you improve. And it is still fun to me. When you hit the bulls and triples, the sounds coming from the dart board exhilarate me.

Yixuan broke up in Dec. She said I seem so happy and doing things that I like which made her see why her relationship wasn’t working out. I don’t know how her relationship was. But I have always felt that relationships starting out since secondary schools or junior colleges lasting till now seems to be like couples only having each other. This is what I see from social media which I could be wrong but the couples are usually hanging out with only each other. And that isn’t healthy I suppose. Sometimes, we need friends around us too. But of course, always set your priorities right. I’m really glad for her though. Super glad. Not the break up but her changes. She is so much happier now and amazing. She was the matured one in our clique. Now there’s this wild side of her appearing and full of life. Spontaneous but hopefully, still able to keep herself safe.

So past 2016 after the break up, I told myself that I would stay single for a year but I have friends telling me there’s no such thing. When love comes, it comes.

Even though I said I would be single, I did go dating around. I was just thinking like hey you know what, I have to meet people. Meeting people is interesting. You get to read them, find out what you like or dislike. I know I don’t have to meet guys and I don’t need any more new friends, but I would wanna know what’s good for me too. I’ve always wanted to settle down but I find out that hey, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t want to settle down then you meet anyone and that could be the person for you. No. Because you don’t settle. I want to meet the person who makes me want to settle down with. The idea is different now.

Truth be told, I’ve probably met about 7 new persons from tinder. None matters of course. But sometimes, the funny thing in life comes least expected. Met up with Chelsea and the rest as usual to have meal in HV and we were just talking about life when she teased me about liking Indians and wanting to intro her friend to me. I was like nah, not interested luh. I don’t like Indians specifically but I like nice people. And liking nice people don’t mean I have a thing for anyone. So after the meal here and there, apparently there was a plan to go clubbing and her Indian friend was going along. And that’s when I met him.

Okay, cute. Okay, tall. Hello beer belly. Hello smokes. Eek. Nopes! Haha! So I formed these in my head. But he suddenly became fucking cute to me that night in the wee morning which must be due to the alcohol. Entwined his fingers around mine to lead me in the club was interesting as I dont usually do that with strangers. But then again, my clubbing experiences could be counted with two hands back then. Haha.

Whatever it is, somehow, he texted me the following evening and we began texting everyday. I would say our texts were purely friends. Just talking and I didn’t read much in them which of course I shouldn’t. He seemed nice but I didn’t feel that we had a lot to talk about because we were only getting to know each other. But when we started to self disclose in our meetings, it felt different like in a nice way.

And in someway, he slowly grew on me like a constant. I can tell him anything and I don’t have to worry what fucks he thinks about me. I can be me and I am me. I feel comfortable around him and it was nice yet scary at the same time. I don’t know what the fuck I was getting myself into. I really don’t want history to repeat itself and so I really have to protect myself. I am cool headed. I have to be. I was a diver. Not literally. But someone who falls head over heels over a human quickly and stays devoted when there is supposedly chemistry or sparks. I can’t be that person anymore. This time, I need to be in control of myself.

He told me he likes me and asked me to go The Canopi with him but I was afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again in any way know. And somehow, when he mentioned Taiwan (I love Taiwan), I thought hey that seems fine.

Side track (so me!), I went to Bangkok with my family and friends in early Jan. Months filled with travels make me happy. All the exciting line ups. I feel like a free bird. Oh and I joined a new mixed darts league too as the previous one ended. This bunch of new people is just as fun and lovely!

Anyway back to Taiwan, I went there with him this Feb. It kinda changed things. We grew even closer and I would say we had fun together. Good fun. And I really enjoyed his company. He’s respectful and have amazing self-control there. Thumbs up gentleman. And Kenting was fucking amazing. Especially that one full day we had where we e-scootered the area and ended the night off with the perfect suggestion from him to look at stars together on the beach in the night. I’ve always wanted to do stuff like that and I get to with him. Seems like our travel plans just worked out and flowed when we are together. For now I would say as it is just the beginning. I daren’t look into the future just as yet.

A week plus after Taiwan, we had our first fight kinda too and he just bolted. It felt like when things got bad, the supposedly close person to you would leave. It felt like people only stay when time is good. That feeling sucks big time but we did get to know one another a little more than before. I could have just fucked it and moved on with life initially but me being me, I needed answers and clear cut ones too so I messaged him first. Felt like a loser but as usual I wanted closure. What was the point of closure though when someone doesn’t want me already and yet I kept questioning why. No means no, simple as that. But if he bolts again, I don’t think I want to deal with it because it hurts I hope I am firmer and stronger now than before.

Anyway we had our first staycation together on 25 March. It was the best stay I ever had. I felt so at ease with him just being me. Saying shit and doing silly things with him knowing that he will not view me indifferently after. It was liberating and exciting much. Lovely meal at TheLab. He picks good meal choices yet he doesn’t know. Heh. And all he talks about was McSpicy, no lettuce add cheese only. Teehee. And jacuzzi was awesome. There were lights and he filled the jacuzzi up with bath salts and shower gel. So many bubbles and so foamy! We drank and danced a little. His dance moves are so frigging adorable. Haha!! I love it when he seems so carefree and happy. Okay fine, he drank a lot more than me. Ha!

Oh and when he winks with one side of his lips inching upwards, that is fucking hot and cute. There’s this cheeky kid in him that makes me smiles and I just want to squish him so bad. Those big eyes staring into mine. I can lose myself in his eyes all day and night.

Mid March was Hongkong trip with my JC clique. So blessed to be able to hang with them the 9 years of friendship and still counting. That aside, all I can say was boy am I glad someone didn’t show up due to work. Because by then, I only want to be seeing him and none other.

Oh and I’m rubbing my feet now too. So smoooth.