#but the rainbows were too weak to do what i wanted so i experimented with some other light and a b&w filter

[robo-dino-puppy]

hfw: burning shores | aloy 39/?

[the-lark-ascending69]

I just got an idea for whump Ronance.

What if Robin and Nancy gets captured by Brenner?

Like, they end up becoming his new lab rats. Thry get tortured and abused just like El was.

What do you think?

(Also, what kind of powers do you think they would have respectively?)

Anon I am so sorry i wrote a long asf response to this and then it got deleted and I was so mad I didn't want to do it again but now I feel inspired and motivated to give it another try.

SO. Wonderful concept! I love it! Let me share my thoughts!!

So what I came up with is:

At age 15, they both get lost in the Upside Down. They only vaguely knew about the other's existance from school but when they found each other down there, they became inseparable. This is an AU in which Will never went missing. Anyway they're terrified and starving and exhausted but at least they have each other, and they hold hands almost the entire time because they both desperately need the comfort.

Eventually, they make it out on their own after finding a gate... and it's in the Hawkins Lab. They come out on the other end before the unbelieving eyes of dozens of scientists, who were convinced no one would survive a minute in there without the proper equipment. Yet these trembling, starving young girls covered in grit survived with only the clothes on their back for a week.

Brenner recognizes them immediately - Nancy and Robin, the two girls from the missing person posters circulating through town. Everyone already thinks they're dead. They made fake bodies of them, for Christ' sake, he's not letting this opportunity go, especially after the disappearance of his only remaining test subject, 011.

This will be a new experiment. A different one. They are given different numbers for ir - A01 for Nancy and A02 for Robin. They get that tattooed in their arms. The purpose of the experiment is to study the effects of short-term exposure to the Upside Down on humans of their height, s.ex, age, health status and weight. They call themselves doctors. They give them separate rooms and run a series of tests daily on them. They try to be subtle at first as to not scare them too much - they don't want another 011 - so they call them by their real names for a while. They ask questions about their lives before the Upside Down and reassure them this is meant to test radiation levels - a standard procedure, before they can return them to their parents.

They immediatelly call bullshit. Why can't they talk to their parents now? Why can't they see them through a glass, at least, or a camera, if radiation is what they're worried about? Why won't they tell them what that place was or why it led back to the Lab? Do their families know they're safe? What is going on? They ask so many questions about every procedure ran on them, resisting in more and more extreme ways until the scientists need to tie them down and drug them whenever they want to do anything.

Brenner notices similar brain activity in them to that of his old test subjects, and he suspects the Upside Down might have given them some kind of ability. He keeps them in the rainbow room, hoping each other's company will help them develop their powers, yet for a long time nothing comes. They can't move objects with their mind, or astral project, or open gates. Even despite everything they do to them. Despite every horrible procedure they perform on them. Drugs of all kinds, leaving them delirious and weak for days. Electrocompulsive therapy. Hypnosis. Pain tests. Sensory deprivation. Solitary confinement. Brenner wants to activate their powers in one way or another, desperate after losing subject 011.

(It's terrifying each time. Nancy is invaded by pure rage while Robin is paralyzed by fear. Whenever they take one for a procedure, the other waits impatiently for her return, fully concious of what they're doing to her - or so it seems. Nancy, at least, thinks she knows what they're doing to Robin. She thinks they do the same things they do to her - tie her to a chair, put an IV in her, maybe, or stick a needle into her neck. Brenner will do this while casually telling her she'll only feel a small pinch, before doing such a monstruosity to her that she'll be woken up by seizures at night. It takes Robin some time to tell Nancy the truth).

They seem completely useless for a long time, but that changes the moment they capture a russian agent.

He was a scientist, working from an unknown location beneath Hawkins, trying to get intel from the Lab when he was caught and tortured to extract information from him. Robin wasn't usually allowed to wander the halls alone, but someone left the door unlocked and she was curious, and soon she found herself in front of a closed door, hearing panting and ragged breathing after this man received the beating of his life. He was talking to himself - curses and meanderings about death and whether or not he'd see his family again. Robin, despite having never learned Russian, understood everything, and in a perfect accent she began to talk to him. She didn't know why - she didn't even realize they weren't speaking English. For a moment he thought he was being rescued, and he shared with her a lot of information.

Brenner caught her in the act and severaly punished her. Solitary confinement for one week. She would only see other people when they ran tests on her, and even then they wouldn't speak to her at all. He ended up not living up to his threat when, not two days after the event, he noticed her brain activity going wild. He has fascinated, and he asked her what had happened, if that russian spy gave her something like a drug. "Russian?" she asks, only then understanding what had happened.

They believe her powers are related to xenoglossy, the supernatural ability to know a language without having ever learned it. Something extremely useful in that specific historical context. She'd be an incredible spy, and oh, Brenner can't wait to experiment with this. They kill the spy after she tells them everything he told her.

They begin to give her a special treatment over Nancy - not exactly for the better. Brenner wants to understand this new ability, developed not in the womb like in other subjects but when subject A02 is a teenager, possibly caused by exposure to Upside Down radiation, though that's not confirmed. Maybe it had more to do with their experiments. He thinks he hit a dead end when it's revealed Robin already knew intermediate-to-advanced French, Spanish and Italian from before being captured - she'd be just a regular poltglot in that case, a prodigious one, right, but with nothing of interest for Brenner. But he quickly realizes this is not the case. Robin didn't know a word of Russian before, and he develops a hipothesis he'll spend the following year testing. He tries her ability with different languages, escaling on rarity, complexity and distance from English. From reading a single short text, Robin becomes profient in Finnish - a non-indoeuropean language Brenner doubts she's ever had any contact with. Proficient, but not fluent. It seems like she can very easily extract a language's grammar from a short sample text, applying it to terms she's familiar with, but she can't magically "guess" vocabulary of grammatical rules not present in the material she was given. For example, by reading a text in which all 15-16 grammatical cases of Finnish are present, she will be able to apply them to any noun in nominative case she knows, but she can't do it with nouns she doesn't know, and she can't use grammatical cases not present in the sample text given to her. She also can't guess spelling or pronunciation without both text and audio samples, and she can't speak in accents she hasn't heard (though she can easily switch accents in a way native speakers of the language can't, a skill that is curiously not translated (lol) into her native English). She learns faster with audio than with text, but even faster with a real-time conversation. Brenner brings a colleague who is fluent in Japanese to test her and he's amazed by how quick her progress is. His hipothesis, seemingly now proven, was that hers was an entirely mental skill, not a supernatural one, since she doesn't magically have access to languages she never had any contact with. This would make her ability not real xenoglossy.

A few more fun facts about her "power":

Her pre-existing skill with Spanish, French and Italian didn't improve until she was exposed to these languages again after being captured. She becomes incredibly skilled at solving puzzles and cracking codes. Brenner believes her power developed thanks to her intensive studies in languages through her childhood. Her brain activity is similar to that of non-native speakers of a language during the few first minutes of having contact with a new language, but in less than an hour, it will be the same as with native speakers. She's confused by some reconstructed languages, but not others (Proto-Indoeuropean was easy for her to learn, Proto-Uralic took her some time before learning more finno-ugric languages than just Finnish. If this were happening in the 2000s, when the Dené-Caucasian theory was already formalized, then Proto-Dené-Caucasian would have sounded like absolute gibberish to her).Some of Brenner's colleages hipothesize that her knowledge of living languages help inform her of the grammar and syntax of proto-languages in an extremely accurate way, to the point she subconciously knows when a reconstruction is wrong. This would make her an amazing paleolinguist. Brenner is less interested in the reconstruction of ancient turkic languages in Siberia and more interested her use as a spy and code-breaker - though it wouldn't have hurt him to take a second look at the idea of turkic languages, because that Russian agent, he was from a region of Russia called Tartary, and he spoke another language aside from Russian, the Tartar language, though he never got to speak it in Robin's presence. Brenner and his colleagues, not familiar with the vast diversity of languages on Earth, spend a long time working with an incorrect hypothesis because they couldn't notice Robin speaking Tartar to herself as a distinct language from all the others they were teaching her. A year and a a half passes before someone spent enough time listening to her to notice the difference. It's a discovery that shatters completely Brenner's first hypothesis on the absence of a supernatural element in Robin's ablity, and he's once again fascinated when he discovers it. His new hypothesis: Robin's power grants her access to a person's mind through speaking to them in a strange, confusing way, and he can't wait to destroy her, pick her brain apart and figure out how it works even if he kills her in the process.

In fact, he does. Literally. He does it over and over and over again, and Nancy has to watch it happen time and time again.

Because here's the thing: Robin wasn't the only one to develop powers, and in fact, she wasn't even the first one.

If you've heard of the videogame Life is Strange, anon, then you'll understand Nancy's power here: she can rewind time. Her power is pretty much the same as Max's in LiS - she can rewind time up to a certain point, though it causes a great mental strain, and eventually, she will discover she can time travel to specific points in time through photographs she's present in, as her younger self.

She discovers her powers the first time Robin is killed.

Misbehavior got her punished - solitary confinement after a long testing session. She had an overdose in her cell, and no one noticed in time. Nancy barely remembers what happened then, other than the horror she felt, before the events of the day flashed backwards before her eyes and she was brought back to Robin - warm, alive, breathing - in the rainbow room.

She begged her to do as they said, to behave, to not fight back. Robin is confused but Nancy is in tears and she agrees to do as she says.

This time, when she has an overdose, they treat her on time. She was in a comma for a week, but soon she was back on her feet and back in Nancy's arms.

It keeps happening - over and over again. The time she swallowed her own tongue during a seizure because Nancy didn't hold her right, and she had to try over four times (and watch her choke and die four times) before she got it right. The time she didn't die - but she lost her ability to speak after hours of electroculpulsive therapy, and she had her fake an illness so they would submit her to less aggressive procedures. It happened again when, after a similar trial, she forgot her own parents and thought the scientists were her parents. But she mostly just died. Over, and over, and over again. Mostly from overdose or brain damage during seizures, but one time, she was purposely asphixiated during a test. To this point Nancy still isn't sure what was it that they wanted to test with that. She suspects it was just torture for the sake of torture. To break her, somehow.

Nancy is terrified of long-term effects of all of this on Robin's health. She's scared the damage will cross the point of no return too early, to a point she can't go back to, a point in which she can't stop it. She can hold Robin's head during a seizure but she can't stop the seizures, and the lasting damage they leave.

Robin is aware of Nancy's powers. Nancy didn't even have to prove them to her - she believed her immediately whe she told her, and she trusts her judgment completely. If Nancy tells her it's better to do X, you can bet Robin will be doing X. Robin doesn't tell Nancy about her newfound ability immediately - she doesn't want her to worry about something she can do nothing about. But she does share it with her, after some time. She felt the need to explain to Nancy why the sudden interest on her. Nancy worries about her Robin so much, so so much, because she's just become Brenner's favorite new toy, and he'll do anything and everything to exploit her. She's in much more danger than Nancy is, and Nancy wishes she could take her place, make herself into Brenner's toy, draw attention away from Robin, but they both know the best they can do for their safety is to keep Nancy's invisible power secret. Nancy hates herself for not being able to take Robin's pain for her.

They escape one day. It's a complicated plan including short-distance time travel, manipulating russian spies through a stolen radio, several forms of treason and going out the same way they came in - through the portal. Nancy does her best to keep them safe with her power as they search for the other gate, the one they first crossed three years ago. And then, they're out. They're found unconcious on the side of the road.

They wake up a few days later in the hospital, surrounded by their families. Nancy's brother, Mike, has a new friend - a quiet girl with long brown hair and a 011 tattoed on her wrist, and she knows she needs to speak to her desperately, but she's exhausted, so for the time being, she'll sleep for some time, feeling almost at peace now, knowing Robin is safe and in the good hands of doctors.

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

Queen + Adam Lambert in Philadelphia on October 18, 2023

Well, that was one of the best experiences of my life! These are my thoughts (pictures and videos will go in separate posts):

I loved how much the entire thing really was a production. It wasn't simply people standing there and playing/singing songs, you could tell every aspect of the show was well-thought-out with set pieces, costume changes, and basically a light show.

I sat in a section on the side that was pretty close to the stage. When they were performing on the main stage, I was able to see everyone pretty clearly, and Spike turned to us and told us to clap sometimes. When Brian and Adam went down the catwalk, their backs were to us. That meant Brian’s back was to us during LOML, but I got a clear view of the whole arena lit up with everyone’s phones. It was beautiful, and the people around us were commenting on how moving it was, too.

Let’s expand upon that: My sister isn’t even in the fandom, but even she said how beautiful LOML was, and how the whole show feels like an homage to Freddie even during the parts when he’s not explicitly mentioned. She said she had a cheesy moment where she was standing there while Adam sang “Who Wants to Live Forever” (which had beautiful rainbow lights), and she thought of Freddie and said to herself, “This is what it means for someone to live forever.” It really is. You really feel like you’re part of this experience of keeping Queen and Freddie alive, and people are so fucking stupid to accuse Brian and Roger of merely cashing in. Even my sister said they have enough money for 3 lifetimes, and are obviously doing it because they love it. Anyway, LOML was genuinely a moving experience, hearing Brian sing and to look out into a sea of lights, and towards the very end of the show, they played Freddie’s vocal call-and-response with the crowd from Wembley, and I did get emotional seeing how Freddie still had a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand +30 years after his death. It made me really wish he was still here.

Adam: You know, I didn’t dislike Adam before this, but my sister and I agreed that we have a newfound respect for him. He’s an incredible performer. When you actually hear him sing live for 2 hours, you realize what Brian means when he talks about Adam’s voice being a gift and everything. His voice was so strong and clear, not a single sour or weak note. These are notoriously difficult songs to sing, but he really nailed them. Adam is also a really charming, likable performer, too. He has fantastic energy and often comes off as very playful. He was delightfully campy as he applied powder and perfume in “Killer Queen.” You can tell he’s having the time of his life, and he took a moment to talk to the audience and say how lucky he is to be in his 10th year of performing with them. Also, his outfits were amazing. He wore glittery boots that looked 12 feet high lol

Brian and Roger: I always knew they were incredible musicians, but god, actually seeing them perform really drives it home. You do have this moment like, “…Damn, they’re really up there playing all of that.” My eyes kept going back and forth between watching Brian on stage, and watching the quick and intricate movements of his fingers up on the screen. 

Brian was wonderful during LOML, despite his back being to us. His voice was warm, and he told us to sing the song to everyone we’ve lost. “‘39” was fun. I loved his solo section. He was way up on a pedestal with a screen to make it look like he was standing on an asteroid, and bright, colorful planets descended from the ceiling and floated around him as he played a calmer melody. It was so lovely. Again, my sister isn’t in the fandom but after the show, she commented that while Roger doesn’t seem like a bad guy, there’s just something approachable, likable, and nice about how Brian came across on stage :’)

Roger was still great, too. I really don’t know where the fuck he finds the energy to still be that good at the drums in his 70s, and even though I don’t like “I’m in Love With My Car” as a song, it’s still objectively impressive to watch him sing and drum for it at the same time. With him and Brian, I can’t comprehend how they’re still doing this. I feel exhausted just from standing there and watching them lmao, but they’ve still got it in their mid 70s. You can tell this is just what they were born to do, and tbh watching how completely they throw themselves into a performance, and picturing them doing that night after night for several months on end on and off for like 15 years……yeah, I see why they had so many personal issues and their domestic lives fell apart lol. I’m not even trying to be mean, I just think something’s gotta give when you’re doing that kind of work, and that’s not even mentioning any harmful aspect of the rock ‘n’ roll party culture. Anyway, the point is that it’s crazy that they’re still able to do this and give it their all, and I’m so happy I got to see them do their thing.

Finally, Brian came out in a Philadelphia Phillies T-shirt during the encore, and my sister and I screamed lol

10/10. What a night. I think Freddie would be so proud to see his work not only being carried on, but how Brian and Roger (and their team, of course) are still adding things to the production to keep it all fresh and give it their 110%.

[ghost-cherry-blossom]

Appleblossom Head Canon 🌸🍎

Corpse Bride Au by Sketch Quill (Goes via sketchquill on tumblr and QuillSketch on Twitter/X)

Disclaimer: I know this is not an Appleblossom Au. I know in this Au, Julie is the villain and murdered Wally; but this is base on a what if scenario. What if Julie was possessed by Home? She never wanted to kill Wally because she found the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. That loved and cherished her in ways she never experience before, however, because of the deal she made with Home she has a debt to repay.

"The day, the day I murdered him was the day I felt a piece of myself died along with him. The blood on my hands....l can never forgive myself…I tried Y/N, I did everything I could to protect him. Unfortunately, they made the devil so much stronger than a man." Julie wheezed softly as she looked at the sword stabbed into her stomach then looked at Y/N. Tears began to cascade down her pale pink cheeks, a bitter smile forming on her lips.

"I….I love him Y/N. I really did love him. He was the sunshine that made the gray stormy clouds go away.” More tears dripped down her cheeks as she tried to choke down a sob.

“….Maybe in another universe, our love was meant to be." The taste of iron filled her mouth as she began to cough and spew the life giving liquid. Black dots were forming in her blurring vision. "D-Don't tell him Y/N... Please…Please let him continue to think of me as the monster that I am. It's time for me to atone for my sins."

“No, no Julie, he needs to know. You can’t do this to him and yourself.” Y/N pulled the sword out quickly and began to put pressure on the wound to try to stop the bleeding. However, Julie was quickly loosing too much blood.

“Y/N, Y/N….I don’t deserve his forgiveness. I never deserved him in the first place; but I really wanted to be better, he made me want to be better for him. My selfish wish was what made him lose his life. All….all…I want is for him to be happy…even if….even if it meant he would be happy without me. Despise me…I deserve it…I deserve it for everything I have done.” Julie couldn’t stand anymore, her legs giving out from underneath her as she slid down the wall. Staining it with her blood.

Y/N followed suit, kneeling down beside Julie. With trembling hands, they continue to put pressure on the wound, Y/N knew it wouldn’t help. However, they didn’t know what else to do. “Julie” was all they could mutter shakily as Y/N sobbed.

The rainbow monster’s complexion became pallid and wan. Her limbs grew weak as she felt herself slowly slip away. Despite her end drawing near, Julie faced her mortality with a quiet acceptance, she knew this day will come and she gladly accepted her seat in hell. “My time has come….Don’t waste your tears on me. Be happy. Be at…peace, you defeated, defeated….the….black widow.” The light in Julie’s eyes faded, she went limp. Lifeless and gone from the world around her.

[queer-cosette]

AO3 tag game

Thank you for the tag @apopcornkernel my love kissing u /p

how many works do you have on ao3?

45 right now!

what's your total ao3 word count?

According to my stats page, 781,604! Holy smokes, Batman!

what fandoms do you write for?

Right now, mainly Heathers, but I've also written for Les Misérables, Derry Girls, Monster High, Miraculous Ladybug, Total Drama, Equestria Girls, and Rainbow High, and have posted some original work on AO3 too (mostly poetry).

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

mArinette (a Miraculous Ladybug easy A AU)

today I woke up wanting to kiss you (plotless Duncney fluff)

Cute Boys With Short Haircuts (Miraculous Ladybug angsty one-sided identity reveal)

Mistlejoke (Miraculous Ladybug christmas fluff)

Waitin' on the Sunrise (shameless fluffy JDonica porn with plot)

do you respond to comments?

I try to lol. Usually I'll respond in batches because executive dysfunction is The Worst

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ooh, does original poetry count? Because if so, Kathryn, a midlength poem I wrote about Kathryn Howard the fifth wife of Henry VIII who was beheaded between the ages of 17 and 22. Or maybe these are times that can’t be weathered (and we have never been back there since then), a story about a Miraculous OC discovering Hawkmoth’s identity.

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Personally, I think it’s The Dark Gate, part four of my Les Mis Winx Club AU. The happy ending is really earned and needed.

do you get hate on fics?

Not really since I stopped regularly writing for Miraculous Ladybug. Boy, that was a wild experience. The fandom was really big at the time and it was the post-Season 3 salt era, so Opinions were both abundant and poor in quality.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Yes indeed! I was born on the run (but I’ll die holding your hand) and Waitin’ on the Sunrise are both JDonica smut fics that I am very very proud of! They’re… very fluffy. You know that rule about how you see in fandom the stuff that was missing from the source material? Look, I just want my awful blorbos to be happy. And also to bang a lot.

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Does On Se Sent Comme Par Magie count? It’s really more fusion fic, it’s the characters of Les Mis living out the plot of Winx Club. Look, it just… it made sense in my head, y’know?

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know, and I hope it never happens!

have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I did write an English translation of a fic I wrote in my native Scots! Never posted it, though.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have tried and miserably failed. I just can’t do it, babes.

what's your all time favourite ship?

Probably JDonica. I just… he’d kill for her?? And he does?? Does it get more chewable than that??

what's a WIP you want to finish but sometimes doubt you ever will?

Oh god I haven’t actually written anything for two months. I need to get back to Waitin’ on the Sunrise, The Last Faery on Earth (Part 5 of OSSCPM), and The Mystery Solvers of Derry (Derry Girls SDMI AU).

what are your writing strengths?

According to my beta reader for OSSCPM, readability, characterisation, and cliffhangers.

what are your writing weaknesses?

I’m really bad for run-on sentences - it’s not my fault, okay, I started reading Les Mis when I was sixteen and impressionable, and Victor Hugo did a number on my psyche that I doubt will ever be reversed because unfortunately Vicky Huge-ho lives rent-free in my skull and whispers in my ear to just use more semicolons like the whore he is.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I’ve written in Scots before, which was fun! I kind of want to do it again, but the Plot Bunnies aren’t cooperating right now.

first fandom you wrote for?

I think. Technically. It was a documentary about Sperm Whales that had a really sad ending that I saw when I was six and I wrote a little book that gave it a happier ending, if that counts? If not, probably Equestria Girls. Although, thank god, my early fic experiments are all stored on a hard drive that will never see the light of day again.

favorite fic you've written?

I was born on the run (but I’ll die holding your hand)!! Fluffy JDonica smut for the win!!

tagging: @theladyfae @private-bryan @galahadwilder @swxxtcidxr if yous want to xo

[yellowcry]

In fire and ice

It was the night when Pepa knocked on Agustín's window asking for help. Snow would be a great birthday gift. Probably. They hoped Alma doesn't seem too happy

A bit of adults childhood! Let's go!

Agustín woke up from the tapping on his window. He put his glasses on looked at the clock and groaned: it was the middle of the night. Who in their mind would try to wake him up at such a time? He sighed and sat up, wishing to kill whoever it was. There was a bright light coming from the window, too strong for such a time. Then he realized.

Of course, it couldn't be anyone but Pepa. He looked through the window with a wide bright smile, definitely planning on something. Agustin stood up opened the window and stared at her with a questioning face.

"Hey, I need your help." She whispered, climbing over the windowsill.

Agustín sighed. "Why couldn't it wait until the morning?" 

The girl shook her head, explaining. "I want to make a surprise for Julieta and Bruno for our birthday." He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, not really getting the idea. Their birthday was tomorrow! Wasn't it... a little bit late? "Bruno just read one of his books, and it was about the 'winter'." Pepa muttered happily, shining with excitement. "And he said that he wished to see snow!"

Snow? Is it that thing from a book? He had heard about this too! It happens when it rains in a cold temperature.

"Oh!" He smiled, realizing the idea. "You want to create it!" 

Pepa nodded confidently. "So... I need some help for this."

Agustin winced in surprise. "Don't you know how to do it?" How would she expect him to know her gift better?

"Of course I don't" Pepa huffed in annoyance, tapping her foot, as her impatience started to create a weak wind in the room. "From where could I know it?"

He rubbed his nose bridge, hoping that his room would survive this experiment, but also interested in helping. "I'm with you." 

She smiled thankfully, as Agustín asked her to look away to change into his daily outfit. Would he get in trouble? Definitely. Would it be something abnormal? Not at all. Being Pepa's best friend was honestly a wild experience. Their friendship had started as a result of them both being a walking catastrophe. Gus was probably the only one who could windstand everything Pepa was up to. They probably were pretty the same. Both were getting in trouble all the time.The only difference is that Agustín did it by accident. Pepa just loved being a menace.

The only light in Casita was a famous candle of the Madrigal family. Standing high in Señora Madrigal's window. His Papa described the moment when the miracle had appeared as the most beautiful thing he ever saw. With flashes of light surrounding them and throwing away the bad guys.

Pepa paced around the patio, bursting with nervous energy that caused a wind that messed up their hair. There was a little problem. None of them knew what it was supposed to look like. Agustín heard that the snow was white, soft, and cold. That's about it.

"What could possibly cause snow?" The young Madrigal muttered to herself as the wind grew stronger.

Agustin sighed in annoyance, leaning against the pillar: Well, I can tell it isn't worry." Jumping to the side from the following thunder.

"I noticed." Pepa huffed, crossing her arms. "Do you have any ideas?"

Remind him, why did he agree to help?

The best notification was to write down what they knew to exclude the wrong possibilities. Happiness turned into a rainbow, sadness was a pouring rain. Anger came with destructive lighting.

It continued for hours to come. Agustín spent all night awake, trying to play with Pepa's emotions. Push them in a different direction. Good thing she was emotional. As wild and non-constant as one of her hurricanes. 

By the morning, they had an entire patio in a light white layer. Fear. Snow was caused by scaring the life out of Pepa. But Agustín had to confirm that after being stuck with a lighting several times it would be the last time he agreed to this. As much as he loved triplets, it wasn't a fair price.

Pepa trembled as a leaf on the wind. Her dress collar was covered in white. Snow melted, making the orange fabric stuck to her skin. "Snow is so cold!" She complained as her palms were turning white.

Agustín wasn't much better. His head looked as if it had silver hair, flicking on the light.

"What is this?" He froze, hearing Doña Madrigal's words. Damn it, she didn't sound too happy with them.

Pepa's teeth were chattering from the frostbite. "It's snow! For our birthday!" She exclaimed with all proudness in her green eyes.

Alma's eyes widened as she stared at two kids down the patio. Pepa and one of the local boys who had a specific medical history. Both are pale, almost white. Their cheeks flushed in grapefruits. Bodies trembling. Díos Mio, they looked awful. How long did they sit in here, colding? 

"Casita, can you please set a kettle?" She sighed. These two needed to get in warm as fast as possible before they had caught something.

Pepa swallowed her coffee, wrapped in a stupid amount of blankets. Still trembling, but now better. As she wasn't in the cold anymore Agustín sat beside her, coughing. Alma had touched his forehead, checking his temperature. Pepa at least was used to being in the middle of bad weather. Alma would have to tell Señoras Rojas that their son was with the Madrigals.

"You little gremlins," She sighed, wrapping another blanket around them. Maybe it was a little too much but Alma didn't take any risks. "Just what were you thinking?"

Pepa looked up, sniffling. "I just wanted to surprise Julieta and Bruno!" She exclaimed, rubbing her eyes. "With show!"

Stay calm, Alma, she reminded herself, kneeling beside her daughter. "Okay, but couldn't you tell me? I would make sure you and they had proper clothes and won't get freeze"

"I didn't know it would be like this. Why is the snow even this cold?" Pepa scowled, her arms crossed. Still paler, but slowly getting her color back. She pulled onto one of the wool blankets. Her little fingers gripping the white fabric.

Alma had patted her head of red tangled hair. It was sweet, she would never think of something like this. "The snow is just like this, cold."

Agustín took Pepa's arm in silent support. "At least Julieta and Bruno will see the snow." It lifted the young Madrigal's mood as she chuckled, a smile appearing inside her eyes.

Alma didn't have the heart to tell them that the snow had probably melted by now, and turned into some water puddles.

[voids-colourful-creations]

The Difference Between Crystal and Glass - A Nemona Fic

[Read on Ao3!]

Rated G - No Archive Warnings (angst with no happy ending) Pokemon Scarlet/Violet No Relationships 2743 Words

Summary: Nemona presses her hands against the walls of her glass house in the hopes of attracting someone to someone to throw stones. Nemona would rather be weaker and have someone to fight against, but loves battling too much to be anything but extraordinary. Nemona catches sight of moving trucks and a kid her age, and for a moment, allows herself to hope.

Notes: In current SV speedruns, players lose to Nemona in every battle save for the first and last. Someone in a stream chat w/ me once asked offhand how Nemona would react if she knew we were losing on purpose. They quickly responded with "She'd get angry." Personally, I think it would happen more like this.

---

When Nemona thinks about herself, she finds herself caught; a glass wall between her and her peers that stretches on as far as everything does.

And it’s cold and it’s hard, and Nemona spends much of her time after becoming Champion rank- the youngest Champion rank in Paldea- with her hands up against that wall. She’ll press her face against the glass just to feel the heat of her cheeks melt into the cool pane, watch her breath obscure it, as if that’d somehow make it any less there.

She’ll tap her feet, find a glass floor beneath her. A ceiling really, the top of a stadium she’s climbed to find no one waiting. It is unbearably lonely, a pedestal made of crystal.

There is something about them , though, Nemona can see it from the get go. She wants to say it’s in their eyes, though she can’t quite meet them. It’s in the way they carry themselves; a dart in their steps and point in their direction. And for the first time in a while, Nemona thinks that this kid, her new little neighbour, might be able to scale the same heights she has. The very idea is enthralling, and once it was created it hooked on to her, wouldn’t let go. It gives her hope, of a sense.

She asks to be friends from the outset, not keen on the idea of reservations in any capacity. To her delight, they immediately agree.

Nemona squints downward, through the vivid bright reflections on the glass floor, slivers of rainbow caught in nothingness, caught on white. There, just there, tiny and near transparent, there they are.

Come and join me. I don’t want to be alone.

---

It’s not that much of an accomplishment to win a first battle with a type advantage, if you know what you’re doing. More, it’s the idea that they actually know what they’re doing, that’s what's exciting.

Are you like me? Did you study before you were old enough to have a Pokémon? Did you count down the days?

It could always be a fluke, it could be nothing, but somehow, Nemona doesn’t think so. It’s the eyes, always the eyes, she swears it.

It’s not just her, right? That odd lizard-like Pokémon, that second-year boy who always skips. They see it too, don’t they? They do.

---

She passes them a Tera Orb, feels the adrenaline course through her at the mere thought of using it. Her own use, their use, it hardly mattered either way. It would be so exciting to see them use it for the first time. A bit of pride perhaps, getting to teach them. There had to be some benefits to being a champion ranked trainer, something more than a clear cage. This was one of them.

Nemona’s only sent out her first Pokémon, still weak to her new friend's initial choice. That… Pokémon isn’t here now. They’ve caught something new, a Lechonk. Nemona feels that excitement rush through her again. Already they’re going to try new Pokémon against her! Already they’re experimenting! How wonderful!

Still… She’s miscalculated though, the Lechonk isn’t as strong as those first partners, and it falls in a single hit. Nemona feels a tug in her chest as it topples over, guilt and regret. It’s only a moment though, only the first Pokémon.

Her neighbour only shrugs when Nemona looks to them to send out their next Pokémon. They turn out their pockets, retrieving a handful of coins and offering them outstretched.

Somehow it’s already over, and Nemona has won. Again.

Nemona hesitates for a moment, but it’s proper rules to offer currency upon defeat, even if it was really more of a courtesy thing for low level battles. She only picks up a few small coins, unable to will herself to take any further.

She’d gotten over excited again, she hadn’t calculated their strength right. Granted, she wasn’t prepared for them to not bring their partner at all , but… that was exciting too, wasn’t it? A gamble on their part possibly, unsuccessful for now… but perhaps in the future, ah what then!

Forget being ripe yet, her friend had hardly sprouted. Patience was key, encouragement was paramount. No matter what, she’d support them through their journey however she could!

“I guess the hill wore you out a bit, huh?” Nemona muses aloud. “Still, even if I did take the win this time, your moves weren't bad! Not bad at all."

This time, she says, it’s a loss this time. You do not plant seeds with the intent to eat them the next day.

Nemona waits, and she waters.

---

They lost again. It’s another clean sweep from Nemona, a nothing sweep. It feels like nothing, she feels nothing , no satisfaction from the win. That little spark she felt fighting them the first match is entirely absent. A flick of warmth no longer, it feels much colder. She feels colder, cruel almost for trying to face them like this. But even if they’d lost, it was fun, right? The winner doesn’t matter as much as the experience!

That sort of excuse is hard to fall back on when it’s a single shot victory, and her neighbour turns out their pockets with a shrug.

It is selfish of her to get discouraged over this, naturally, so she smiles, grins. It’s her victory after all, how fun. Still, encouragement, still, there is so much potential.

This isn’t how winning a battle should feel. She doesn’t want this to happen again.

It does, though. And again. And again.

Every time she bumps into them, again it’s their loss.

To amend, every time Nemona fights them, she wins .

Because her friend, they are friends, is sparkling brilliantly everywhere else.

Student Council President is more than just another title to add to an ever growing stack, and she takes her work somewhat seriously. As seriously as Nemona takes anything, save for battling, her culmination.

More than rumours, it’s like the school itself is buzzing about them, the walls whisper and the floors groan, and it’s all the same sort of news.

They challenged Team Star and won. They kept tangling with giant beasts, tackling them down like it was nothing . Blazing fast through the gym challenges, a pace to rival even Nemona, they said.

So then why wouldn’t they rival her? Every time she bumped into them, the fight was over in a flash, Nemona picking up pocket change from an outstretched palm.

If Nemona was a vain girl, perhaps it’d be a point of pride. How excellent she was, while this new kid may outpace her, she still reigned strongest.

Far the opposite, Nemona feels herself unravel with each win. She is good, and well aware of it. She is not this good.

Easier to take as a sign than anything else, whenever they faced her, it was only with a small untrained Pokémon and a shrug.

It’s not lack of preparation, she’s given them that and more. A chance for a rematch, the time to restructure the team, the opportunity to go out as long as they wish, to find anything, anyone to bring up against her! Instead no, it’s a rushed out toss, a little thing almost confused to find itself battling at all.

Nemona doesn’t fault them for it, not ever. She can’t, couldn’t bring herself to scold them for a lack of sense in any match up. Like the very idea of battling, basic knowledge and sense, was something they explicitly wanted to avoid bringing against her.

It grates and it grates and grates, that potential she feels tucked away from her grasp.

Little by little, Nemona grows ever stronger despite herself. Too strong perhaps? Despite starting from flat again, it’s in her nature to reach for the heavens, up and upwards, past her little glass walls to an open sky.

But perhaps it’s otherwise. There is more to her neighbour than they are sharing, Nemona knows it.

She isn’t stupid. She is clueless and foolish, but aware of that in some respects. Not all, not in the moment, but hindsight is 20/20.

Ryme always battles in doubles, and she’s seen that shining ghost badge pinned onto their backpack straps. Yet somehow, every time she takes down a single Pokémon in those “rival” battles, they empty their pockets.

Once they’ve beaten Ms. Tulip and Nemona has claimed the most currency in any of her battles against them, they walk off without any proper goodbye, recalling their fainted Pokémon without much of a thought.

Dimly, Nemona begins to wonder if they were going easy on her.

Unable to shake the faint thought, she lingers around for their next battle.

Quietly, carefully, she hangs around the Glaseado arena, hiding in the crowds of people gathering to watch them battle it out.

The match, much like her own, is over in a flash. And yet so much unlike her own, because here, here , they decimate.

Practically a stranger in her eyes, commanding quickly, fiercely, and Grusha’s Pokémon fall one after another. Without even the need to Terastallize themselves, they send Grusha’s Altaria to the ground, crystal shattering against the snow.

They claim their prize somewhat silently, smile for a picture, and walk off with Grusha still talking to them.

They are going easy on Nemona.

Once the thought has registered fully, it’s a light show that explodes in her mind.

The prospect is so unbelievably exciting Nemona can’t stand it, shakes and jumps and tries to ignore the stares of passersby as they disperse from the arena.

She doesn’t know why they won’t meet her fully, but she can hardly find it in her to care! Such a person does exist, a rival for her, a friend they’ve said, someone like her.

She giggles and kicks her feet out as she walks at such an idea.

Really, someone like her…

---

Nemona runs breathlessly from the academy when she gets the message from Geeta. She’s been beaten out in record time.

Her heart pounds against her ribs as hard as her shoes pound against the worn dirt path up to the league. How many times has she walked up here the past year, bored and itching for a challenge? How many times as she challenged the gyms again, bothered Rika into a rematch just for fun, just for anything to do?

It doesn’t matter they’ve beaten her out, it doesn’t matter they were holding back before, just- please! Please, now, now is the time! This is it, right? That moment she’d been trying to capture? The feeling, the excitement she hadn’t felt in so long, a challenge, an equal!

She’s still trying to regain her breath when she asks them to be rivals once more, more than friends, partners in competition, in contrast.

She’s beginning to fear they’re the only person in the region to really challenge her, let alone someone around her age, someone her rank, someone like her, anyone like her, really and truly.

They say no.

Nemona laughs it off. 

It’s all been one big joke right? To them at least, because the gym challenge is fun! And for them it must’ve been easy, what a laugh. They’ve been joking with her since the beginning, haven’t they?

She asks again. Denial once more.

It’s not a very funny joke.

They had said they were friends, hadn’t they? That… that couldn’t have been a lie.

She’s not sure what she’s done wrong.

“Okay, wait. You will be my rival, won’t you?”

She feels herself drawn in, cradles her right arm- her weak arm- in her left, tries not to bite her nails.

They crack an odd sort of smile- smirk, and say yes, of course, don’t be silly.

Nemona brightens up, beckons them forward for their battle, yet still can’t help that rotting feeling that gnaws away at her stomach.

---

She’s almost scared that this will be another of the same. They’ll toss out some disoriented Scatterbug, freshly hatched, then toss a few coins towards her.

She doesn’t allow herself to think about it too much. This fight is different. It feels different. She will make it different.

And when they show up, Nemona feels like she’s starving. Like she’d been wasting away for an age, and finally, a buffet is spread out before her.

There is something about them, Nemona can see it as they circle each other in the town’s centre. She wants to say it’s in their eyes, though she still can't quite meet them. It’s in the way they carry themselves, a dart in their steps and point in their direction.

She opens with Lycanroc, and they counter.

In a single hit, Lycanroc falls.

And Goodra falls.

And Dudunsparce, Orthworm, Pawmot, fall, fall, fall.

It’s all going so fast as always, but this time it’s her Pokémon that dissolve in an instant. Thrilling, exciting, and terrifying the same.

She’s down to her last, by now she knows well enough she will not win. But there’s much more to this than that, so she takes out the final Pokéball, and her Tera Orb as well.

Nemona smiles wildly as she feels the impact on her arm, familiar in its ache, energetic in its drain.

Terastallizing takes its strain on the Pokémon, sure, but just as much on the trainer. Physical force like a typhoon, sending her ponytail slapping against her back. Nemona braces her arm with the other, she knows she’s hurting herself, but they’re just going to love this when they see it! Fighting out with amazing power; a beautiful spectacle. Who wins the battle doesn’t matter as much as them having fun, them both having fun, but Nemona already knows she’ll be happy either way. How can she not be, when someone’s finally fought her seriously. Right?

Her partner Pokémon, chosen right at the same time as theirs, from that first battle, the beginning of the end, shatters like crystal before her feet.

Without a second thought, they have swept her to the ground, her team to sand. Decimated, the team she spent so long trying to craft for them, it's all for them if they’d just take a chance and look at it-

It’s over.

The cheers go up from the crowd, and Nemona covers her eyes with her arm as she recalls her fallen friend.

She bites her tongue and doesn’t cry, because Champions are understanding, and this is her friend.

Her friend.

They are so much stronger than Nemona had ever thought, and the prospect is the most terrifying thing Nemona's ever seen. But fear is the same emotion as excitement when you peel away the curvature, and she lets the latter take precedence, for distrust of feeling anything else.

So she grins and she congratulates and she means it, every word she swears. It’s only what she’s not saying that lingers, those doubts.

And it’s when they walk away, when they look back at her after the battle is over. When congratulations are well and done, the crowd beginning to disperse as the night creeps in later. That is when she sees it.

She was wrong after all, silly girl. They hadn’t taken her seriously from the start.

When Nemona thinks about herself, she sees herself trapped; a glass wall between her and her peers that stretches on as far as everything does. And when she looks down through the glass flooring, she can see their reflection as they stand a million miles above her.

Less than a wall, more a cube Nemona can push her arms against and never come close to cracking.

Ah, what a shame. Neither by strength nor weakness would she find an equal after all.

Nemona squints upwards, through the vivid bright reflections in the glass ceiling, slivers of rainbow caught in nothingness, caught on white. There- just there- tiny and near transparent, there they are.

As always, they’re looking forward. As always, they don’t look back.

Nemona is certain that they’ll keep going, climbing and climbing walls that are invisible to heights she can’t see.

She presses her hand against the ceiling, against the cool crystal that forms her cage.

Ahhhh... I guess I wasn’t a very good rival to you after all. I’m sorry.

Half transparent and ethereal, they climb further and further until they’re outside of her vision, let alone her reach.

Nemona watches their silhouette rise higher and higher, and softly, gently, smiles.

[End]

[nomimits7]

Happy | 5

Here comes bad news talking this or that

Title: Happy

Pairing: Yoongi x OT6

Warnings: Manipulation. Gaslighting. Violence? Guns. rich people have no laws. It's kind of noncon, but not that sexual? Panic attack! If I missed something, let me know

Summary: In a world where Auras can be seen, Yoongi lives a peaceful life as a broke, young adult. He attends Uni just so he can get into an internship to escape his current life. What he doesn't know is that six others are looking for him. They want him. They need him and they will have him. Forming a rainbow would give them all the power they could dream of.

“Do you live alone Yoongi?” Jungkook asks. They have been working for a few hours now. The atmosphere has been calm. All three of them got lost in their work. Yoongi’s ears were being blessed by Hoseoks voice blasting in his headphones as he added some echos and adlibs. So, it came as no surprise when he jumped slightly to hear a different voice in the once quiet room. 

“Uh, yeah. Why?” Yoongi asked. It was only natural for him to be surprised by the question. He wasn’t sure why, but it made a spike of anxiety roll through his body. Maybe it was just because he wasn’t used to sharing his personal life with anyone else. Yoongi also had some bad experiences with trusting people, so he was naturally hesitant to share too much of himself. 

“Oh, no reason. Just want to get to know you. You’re a really quiet person and naturally, I was just wondering if you are just shy or if you don’t really know how to talk to people” Jungkook says matter of factly. He looks curiously at Yoongi, almost expectantly. Yoongi knew he could see the hesitance in his eyes. He knew it was painfully obvious that he didn’t trust them at all. They have only been hanging out for a few weeks. 

Yoongi has no idea how to answer a question like that. How much was too much to share? Why does he struggle to open up to people? Should he trust these two men? Could it be that he is hesitant because he lives alone? Is he shy or just weird? All these questions were now swimming around in his head and none of them seems to have an answer. 

“Hey, we're friends, aren’t we? I now me and you started of on the wrong foot, but your cool. You can trust us” Jungkook said as he looked at Yoongi. A pang of guilt made its way through Yoongi’s system as Jungkook words. He was right, they were friends. Yes, he and Jungkook started of rocky, but the younger has been going out of his way to make it up to him. He has been giving him rides, bringing him food, and he even bought Yoongi some new headphones. Of course, Yoongi should be able to trust them. Then why was he hesitating? 

“Hey, Jungkook. Leave him alone. He’ll trust you when he trusts you! Give him time. Not everyone can be as open as you. Anyway, Yoongi. I believe I have completed this segment of the song. Do you want to listen to it all together?” Hoseok interjected. 

Yoongi quickly scrambled over to the other side to take hold of Hoseok's earphones. The song was good. He could hear just how hard Hoseok had worked on it. It made a stinge of jealousy run through him at the thought of someone else doing something better than he could, in a field where he was supposed to be the top. 

“So, I know Hoseok said not to pester you, but I do have one more question I feel is fair to ask. What color is your aura? I can’t seem to pinpoint the color by just looking at you” Jungkook asked once Yoongi took off the headphones. 

“Uh, well. I don’t know, actually. My color has always been too weak to pinpoint it to any one of the colors” Yoongi said, eyes a little distant as he thought back to all the times he had been alienated just because he seemingly had no aura color. 

“Wait, you don’t know your color? How did you fill out your applications for well… anything?” Hoseok asked.

“I, well. I guessed? And when they asked me why they couldn’t see my aura I just said that it was weak” Yoongi said. He knew it wasn’t very smart to lie about his aura, but what else could he have done? He has no idea how to test his aura color and without a steady income he couldn’t do the aura test. 

“Ah, I see. Maybe we can help you. If you manage to get the position under Seokjin’s company, they could cover the costs for that test. It’s kind of a mandatory thing to do, but the results stays between you and the big boss. Seokjin said you need to give him a demo right? Why don’t you give him a full song?” Hoseok said excitedly. 

“Yeah! We can help you. What do you need from us? Do you want me to sing? Oh, please let me sing” Jungkook all but wined from his seat. Yoongi felt the excitement in his bones at the idea of impressing his potential boss to the point of him becoming a permanent employee. 

“You would help me?” Yoongi couldn’t help but ask. He still didn’t believe them when they told him they were his friends. 

“Of course, what are friends for?” Hoseok answered. 

***

“Violets are one of the most captivating aura colors to see. Some people are blessed with such a deep color that it almost looks blue. Often these people are associated with creativity, nobility, and spiritual insight. 

It’s nothing strange to see a Violet dressed in the latest fashion, or how others would describe it, odd clothing. In ancient times, the color violet was the sign of power, luxury, and mysticism. It was hard and very expensive to make any shade of violet and that is why we believe the ancient royals wore the colors. 

Our historians have also recently discovered some old-world manuscripts that hint at the possibility that violet and purple colors were symbols of divinity. The manuscripts described the gods of the old world to have been dressed in violets and purples as they ruled over their world. This is also why we also believe that violets hold the key between the physical and spiritual world. 

Violets are very rare to see. Usually, they are made part of a partial rainbow as soon as they are of legally binding age. They are kept from the public eye and treasured by their fellow bond colors. There is no explanation as to why most partial rainbows hide their violet auras, but seeing a violet is an honor not everyone gets to have. 

The biggest gifts that are associated with violets include sensitivity, compassion, beauty, and imagination. These auras are very useful in positions of power as they can change fear into positive emotions by simply being in the same room as the so-called target” Professor Choi began as he flipped through slides of badly edited pictures of so-called violets. 

Perhaps no one has ever really seen a Violet and thus they had to make up most of what they claim to know about said color. Its a little unsettling to think a color could be that rare. Like, out of all the students in the lecture room, no one has ever seen a violet? Impossible. They had to be myths. 

“Professor? Don’t you think that that could be the reason most people hide their Violets? Maybe they are scared that someone in a position of power might steal them and use them during negotiations or whatever? If Violets have such a strong impact on the people in a room, I would have used them to rise up in the ranks” A cocky red-aura student said as he smirked at his so-called entourage. It was clear that he was still a freshman that had zero life experience. 

“Well, that reason alone might be why Violets are so rare. Violets have control over their abilities, like every other color. Just because they can be used to help someone gain power unfairly, doesn’t mean they do. This is one of the instances where one of the so-called bad traits is used for good. They can be arrogant and stubborn. They are rare, but not easy to convince to do anything that could lead to bad results” Professor Choi said. He had a smirk of his own as he watched the student's face fall. 

Yoongi has to admit, it was very satisfying to see. Just as Professor Choi was about to dismiss the class, a new student walked in. The whole class gasped as they stared at the young man's aura. His aura was a deep Violet color. He was dressed in casual clothes, nothing like the professor indicated, and his voice was deep as he spoke. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt professor. I’m Kim Taehyung and I am looking for a student. My boss has been trying to call him for the past hour, he wants to hear his progress on the demo he is working on. A Min Yoongi? I would appreciate any assistance as I don’t like being disturbed like this on one of my off days” The man, Taehyung said. He looked bored and slightly irritated 

The whole class glanced around in search of the mysterious Yoongi. Yoongi quickly took out his phone and nearly fainted at the sight of over twenty missed calls. Crap, so much for not making a bad impression for his, perhaps not future job. 

***

“I am so sorry,” Yoongi said as he met up with Taehyung outside of the lecture hall. After his little speech, the other had just upped and left through the doors once he received no answer. This man was clearly not someone who possessed an ounce of patience. 

“I presume you are the infamous Min Yoongi who apparently has some hearing problem?” Taehyung sassed as he folded his arms over his chest. 

Correction. This man was clearly not someone that anyone could easily like. It reminded Yoongi a bit of how he met Jungkook. Yes, the other was just your average asshole at first, but he turned out to be nothing but a clingy bunny. This specimen before him, however, seemed to be leaning towards a kitten. A very angry kitten. 

“I’m not deaf” Yoongi retorted softly as he slowly followed behind Taehyung. The other merely scoffed at his weak retort as he lead them to a parked black van. This was clearly how Yoogi would die. He knew Taehuyng looked familiar. Maybe he was part of the bandits that shot up the train and now they were taking out all the witnesses. 

“You might not be deaf, but I also don’t see why my boss would want anything to do with the likes of you. You're just another unknown self-proclaimed producer who has nothing to his name. I bet you don’t even have a family” Taehyung sneered as he got in the car. He didn’t even wait for Yoongi to get in before starting it. 

Yoongi stood frozen outside of the car. He knew he was unknown in the producer world but what this practical stranger just said was unfair and rude. He studied his ass off to be the best student. He worked horrible double shifts at stores just to pay for his studies. He tried his best to get a good internship and now that a golden opportunity came by, he is called useless. No, he won’t allow some uptight probably born rich prick to tell him what he is and what he isn’t. Clearly this guy has never had to fight for what he wanted. 

“Do you need me to open the door for you princess?” Taehyungs voice pulled him out of his spiraling thoughts. This mother fu-

“I am not. Just so you know. I don’t waste my time with useless things” Taehyung continued as he turned to stare out the front window. Yoongi had enough. He would rather strip down to his birthday suit and parade around campus screaming he loved clowns who get in a car with someone who has no sense of humanity. So, he did what anyone else would have done. He turned and started walking away. He would get to the company on his own. 

“Hey, where do you think you are going?” Taehyung screamed as he saw Yoongi walk towards the subway. Yoongi just kept quiet as he walked. He didn’t need to waste his breath on some stranger. 

“Are you kidding me? Are you really going to act like a child? Get in the fucking car. We are already late because of you” Taehyung said. He must have gotten out of the car at some point because his voice sounded a lot closer than it was a few seconds ago. 

“I am not the childish one that insults people they know nothing about. You must be really fucking stupid if you think I will get in a car with you after you made me feel like absolute dirt. Just because you were born into some privilege doesn’t give you the right to assume anyone is any less than you” Yoongi sneered as he rounded a corner and started to jog towards the subway entrance. 

He would have made it if strong arms hadn’t scooped him up onto a very sturdy shoulder. He would never admit out loud that he squeaked in surprise at the sudden action, but he also would not go down without a fight. He started to wiggle as much as a worm on a hot rock would. He could feel himself slipping off of the shoulder when a sharp smack made him freeze. In his moment of brief shock, his attacker twisted his body around. Reaggranging him onto their hip like a child. 

“You should eat more. You weigh barely any more than my baby cousins. Also, you were rude at first. If you had just answered when I called for you, we wouldn’t have gotten off on the wrong foot. Now, be a good clover leaf and stay still” Taehyung said as he swiftly carried a grumbling and slightly squirming Yoongi back to the car. 

Would things really have been better if he had just raised his hand in class? He didn’t mean to make the other mad. He just doesn’t like to be in the spotlight. He froze and looked where it got him, strapped into a car like a child being driven to whoever the boss of Taehyung was to show them a demo that he wasn’t finished with yet. 

He just wants to go home at this point. Maybe take a shower and cry a little. A nap would do him wonders at this point. He thought back to the words Taehyung said earlier. They were true. He isn’t anyone significant and he probably won’t ever be. Before he could stop the tears, they were silently flowing down his cheeks. How did his life end up like this?

[miguenhasthoughts]

05/03

The sun is bright. Its rays cascade on this once fragile skin. It bathes all that it touches with a warmth that would be overbearing if not for a cool spring breeze. Time is still and gives you time to breathe. Time to appreciate all the colors that live on this world. All the colors of a rainbow. Vibrant in the sunshine. My heart is warm. It is peaceful.

I think daily isn’t in the cards anymore. It feels more like a weekly diary. It is more so that I forget than anything else. I guess it could be that the depression is seceding a bit.

Turns out when you people who are competent at their job things fall less on my shoulders and I am able to relax and be successful at my job. What a shocker. The new people are learning so quick and take an initiative. What a concept. With that and actually getting the drugs that I’ve always needed. I’m actually in such a better spot than I’ve ever been last year.

I bought femme clothes and wore them out on a date! It was the most skin I’ve ever shown in public. My heart was out my chest. I kept telling myself I was passing enough. I have boobs, my figure hour glassy! My make up and hair were on point. I kept telling myself that, not to say going out while not passing is bad at all. Everyone should be treated validly no matter how they look. However the world is cruel and going out the first time all dolled up made me incredibly nervous and passing would make that easier unfortunately. If people gave us dirty looks, I didn’t notice and no one said anything. So to me, mission accomplished. One day down for the rest of my life 😤

Thank god May was so cool about it. I was worried about going out with a cis girl. I have not done that in a long while. She was supportive of me being femme. She even helped me with my outfit. We really hit it off. We ate fruit in the park and talked a lot. It felt like they could go on for hours about whatever topic. I really appreciated that. She was so pretty too. She wore really colorful eyeshadow and a flower crown. She was a hippie through and through. I went rollerblading after. I kept falling on my ass 😂 she was super nice about it tho. She kept holding my hand to keep me balanced. Made me blush. I really related with her life experiences and it was endearing how strong of a person she was.

It was also affirming when they fondled my tits while we made out 🤭😳🫣

I have another date with someone else next week but it was nice actually connecting with someone. I feel like there has been such a hard time meeting people I have that chemistry with so I’m glad this was a good time and we are trying to watch anime sometime lol

As far as Micah… I don’t know what talking to them would look like. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’d love to still talk to them. Yet I don’t think things would be the same unfortunately. I am missing them less and less. I stopped checking the mailbox to see if the written back. If they do they do. I honestly noticed today that it had actually been a few days that I haven’t thought about them. As always I do wish them well. I do want them to genuinely be happy.

I guess to end this on a negative note. These last couple days is the first in a while where I felt the effects of not eating. Almost I was in autopilot mode within a vessel too weak to function or think properly. I always try to eat just enough. I guess half a sandwhich and a couple bites of fruit wasn’t enough. I made it a point to force myself to eat more than I’d had liked because I don’t want to hurt myself. Tbf it still wasn’t a lot but it was more than I’ve ate all week. I don’t know how to stop…

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

Guppies

Guppies are popular freshwater aquarium fish. As with the pheasants we met in Chapter 3, the males are more brightly colored than the females, and aquarists have bred them to become even brighter. Endler studied wild guppies (Poecilia reticulata) living in mountain streams in Trinidad, Tobago and Venezuela. He noticed that local populations were strikingly different from each other. In some populations the adult males were rainbow-coloured, almost as bright as those bred in aquarium tanks. He surmised that their ancestors had been selected for their bright colours by female guppies, in the same manner as cock pheasants are selected by hens. In other areas the males were much drabber, although they were still brighter than the females. Like the females, though less so, they were well camouflaged against the gravelly bottoms of the streams in which they live. Endler showed, by elegant quantitative comparisons between many locations in Venezuela and Trinidad, that the streams where the males were less bright were also the streams where predation was heavy. In streams with only weak predation, males were more brightly coloured, with larger, gaudier spots, and more of them: here the males were free to evolve bright colours to appeal to females. The pressure from females on males to evolve bright colours was there all the time, in all the various separate populations, whether the local predators were pushing in the other direction strongly or weakly. As ever, evolution finds a compromise between selection pressures. What was interesting about the guppies is that Endler could actually see how the compromise varied in different streams. But he did much better than that. He went on to do experiments.

Suppose you wanted to set up the ideal experiment to demonstrate the evolution of camouflage: what would you do? Camouflaged animals resemble the background on which they are seen. Could you set up an experiment in which animals actually evolve, before your very eyes, to resemble a background that you have experimentally provided for them? Preferably two backgrounds, with a different population on each? The aim is to do something like the selection of two lines of maize plants for high and low oil content that we saw in Chapter 3. But in these experiments the selection will be done not by humans but by predators and by female guppies. The only thing that will separate the two experimental lines is the different backgrounds that we shall supply.

Take some animals of a camouflaged species, perhaps a species of insect, and assign them randomly to different cages (or enclosures, or ponds, whatever is suitable) which have differently coloured, or differently patterned, backgrounds. For example, you might give half the enclosures a green foresty background and the other half a reddish-brown, deserty background. Having put your animals in their green or brown enclosures, you'd then leave them to live and breed for as many generations as you have time for, after which you'd come back to see whether they had evolved to resemble their backgrounds, green or brown respectively. Of course, you only expect this result if you put predators in the enclosure too. So, let's put, say, a chameleon in. In all the enclosures? No, of course not. This is an experiment, remember; so you'd put a predator in half the green enclosures and half the red enclosures. The experiment would be to test the prediction that, in enclosures with a predator, the insects would evolve to become either green or brown - to become more similar to their background. But in the enclosures without a predator, they might if anything evolve to become more different from their background, to be conspicuous to females.

I have long nursed an ambition to do exactly this experiment with fruit flies (because their reproductive turnover time is so short) but, alas, I never got around to it. So I am especially delighted to say that this is exactly what John Endler did, not with insects but with guppies. Obviously he didn't use chameleons for predators, but instead chose a fish called the pike cichlid (pronounced 'sick lid'), Crenicichla alta, which is a dangerous predator of these guppies in the wild. Nor did he use green versus brown backgrounds - he opted for something more interesting than that. He noticed that guppies derive much of their camouflage from their spots, often quite large ones, whose patterning resembles the patterning of the gravelly bottoms of their native streams. Some streams have coarser, more pebbly gravel, others finer, more sandy gravel. Those were the two backgrounds he used, and you'll agree that the camouflage he was seeking was subtler and more interesting than my green versus brown.

Endler got a large greenhouse, to simulate the tropical world of the guppies, and set up ten ponds inside it. He put gravel on the bottom of all ten ponds, but five of them had coarse, pebbly gravel and the other five had finer, sandy gravel. You can see where this is going. The prediction is that, when exposed to strong predation, the guppies on the two backgrounds will diverge from each other over evolutionary time, each in the direction of matching its own background. Where predation is weak or non-existent, the prediction is that the males should tend in the direction of becoming more conspicuous, to appeal to females.

Instead of putting predators in half the ponds and no predators in the other half, again Endler did something more subtle. He had three levels of predation. Two ponds (one fine and one coarse gravel) had no predators at all. Four ponds (two fine and two coarse gravel) had the dangerous pike cichlid. In the remaining four ponds, Endler introduced another species of fish, Rivulus hartii, which, despite its English name, 'killifish' (actually that's quite irrelevant since it is named after a Mr Kille), is relatively harmless to guppies. It is a 'weak predator', whereas the pike cichlid is a strong predator. The 'weak predator' situation is a better control condition than no predators at all. This is because, as Endler explains, he was trying to simulate two natural conditions, and he knows of no natural streams that are totally free of predators: thus the comparison between strong and weak predation is a more natural comparison.

So, here's the set-up: guppies were assigned randomly to ten ponds, five with coarse gravel and five with fine gravel. All ten colonies of guppies were allowed to breed freely for six months with no predators. At this point the experiment proper began. Endler put one 'dangerous predator' into each of two coarse gravel ponds and two fine gravel ponds. He put six 'weak predators' (six rather than one, to give a closer approximation to the relative densities of the two kinds of fish in the wild) into each of two coarse gravel ponds and two fine gravel ponds. And the remaining two ponds just carried on as before, with no predators at all.

After the experiment had been running for five months, Endler took a census of all the ponds, and counted and measured the spots on all the guppies in all the ponds. Nine months later, that is, after fourteen months in all, he took another census, counting and measuring in the same way. And what of the results? They were spectacular, even after so short a time. Endler used various measures of the fishes' colour patterns, one of which was 'spots per fish'. When the guppies were first put into their ponds, before the predators were introduced, there was a very large range of spot numbers, because the fish had been gathered from a wide variety of streams, of widely varying predator content. During the six months before any predators were introduced, the mean number of spots per fish shot up. Presumably this was in response to selection by females. Then, at the point when the predators were introduced, there was a dramatic change. In the four ponds that had the dangerous predator, the mean number of spots plummeted. The difference was fully apparent at the five-month census, and the number of spots had declined even further by the fourteen-month census. But in the two ponds with no predators, and the four ponds with weak predation, the number of spots continued to increase. It reached a plateau as early as the five-month census, and stayed high for the fourteen-month census. With respect to spot number, weak predation seems to be pretty much the same as no predation, over-ruled by sexual selection by females who prefer lots of spots.

So much for spot number. Spot size tells an equally interesting story. In the presence of predators, whether weak or strong, coarse gravel promoted relatively larger spots, while fine gravel favoured relatively smaller spots. This is easily interpreted as spot size mimicking stone size. Fascinatingly, however, in the ponds where there were no predators at all, Endler found exactly the reverse. Fine gravel favoured large spots on male guppies, and coarse gravel favoured small spots. They are more conspicuous if they do not mimic the stones on their respective backgrounds, and that is good for attracting females. Neat!

Yes, neat. But that was in the lab. Could Endler get similar results in the wild? Yes. He went to a natural stream that contained the dangerous pike cichlids, in which the male guppies were all relatively inconspicuous. He caught guppies of both sexes and transplanted them to a tributary of the same stream that contained no guppies and no dangerous predators, although the weak predator killifish were present. He left them there to get on with living and breeding, and went away. Twenty-three months later, he returned and re-examined the guppies to see what had happened. Amazingly, after less than two years, the males had shifted noticeably in the direction of being more brightly coloured - pulled by females, no doubt, and freed to go there by the absence of dangerous predators. [...]

Nine years after Endler sampled his experimental stream with such spectacular results, Reznick and his colleagues revisited the place and sampled the descendants of Endler's experimental population yet again. The males were now very brightly coloured. The female-driven trend that Endler observed had continued, with a vengeance. And that wasn't all. You remember the silver foxes of Chapter 3, and how artificial selection for one characteristic (tameness) pulled along in its wake a whole cluster of others: changes in breeding season, in ears, tail, coat colour and other things? Well, a similar thing happened with the guppies, under natural selection.

Reznick and Endler had already noticed that when you compare guppies in predator-infested streams with guppies in streams with only weak predation, colour differences are only the tip of the iceberg. There is a whole cluster of other differences. Guppies from low-predation streams reach sexual maturity later than those from high-predation streams, and they are larger when they reach adulthood; they produce litters of young less frequently; and their litters are smaller, with larger offspring. When Reznick examined the descendants of Endler's guppies, his findings were almost too good to be true. The ones that had been freed to follow female-driven sexual selection rather than predator-driven selection for individual survival had not only become more brightly coloured: in all the other respects I have just listed, these fish had evolved the full cluster of other changes, to match those normally found in wild populations free from predators. The guppies matured at a later age than in predator-infested streams, they were larger, and they produced fewer and larger offspring. The balance had shifted towards the norm for predator-free pools, where sexual attractiveness takes priority. And it all happened staggeringly fast, by evolutionary standards. Later in the book we shall see that the evolutionary change witnessed by Endler and Reznick, driven purely by natural selection (strictly including sexual selection), raced ahead at a speed comparable to that achieved by artificial selection of domestic animals. It is a spectacular example of evolution before our very eyes.

— Richard Dawkins, The Greatest Show on Earth

[rayons1only1started]

Neutral

I followed Davis as he stomped out to where we had planned to *draws hand across throat*.

He was SO mad I didn't do anything but go to my hiding place. I think he didn't even look over at me before calling "ASH!". Like, I know you're mad, BUT YOU CAN"T JUST FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE BITCH! I'll talk to him later.

I grabbed the pocket knife I kept for emergencies. This technically was.

From where I was hiding I heard Ash's voice. Its soft voices.

What now? Have you decided to stop fighting against me?

Ash knew Davis hadn't, it knew he would never, but the fucking bastard wanted to tease him. That's my job.

No? I thought you were smarter than that. Why did you come here anyway? To kill me? You can't. You know that. To ask about Red? He is good as dead. His mind is gone, and so he's a shell. But something tells me that's not why you came. 

Are you really going to try that? You know, and well, that was never going to work. But you hoped. What a disgusting word, hope. 

 I nearly tumbled out of the bush at it said then. 

Come out, Tawny. Or Tawy. I don't give a fuck. 

It turned and faced me.

Hello bitch. It's been years. Where were you? Wait, I don't care.

See this? See my hand? GONE. ALL GONE. YOU KNOW, THIS HURTS LIKE HELL. BUT YOU WON'T BE THIS LUCKY. SOON YOU'LL BE GONE OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH, IN HELL. BUT NOT YET. FIRST, YOU'LL FEEL THIS. AND MORE.

A LOT MORE.

It started toward me, forgetting about Davis. He looked a bit shaken, and unfocused. Hopefully he would come around soon.

NOT SOON ENOUGH!

I turned and ran. It followed me. With a knife. Where did the knife come from? 

It was gaining on me, screaming things.

Horrifying things. But I can't stop and break down. I'll be in hell momentary.

I can't keep running forever. I'll tire, and then I'll *draw my hand across neck*. WHERE IS BLUE? HE CAN HELP ME. 

"BLUE!!!" I screamed, nearly out of breath because of that.

He won't come fast enough.

I spun around, realizing I had let Ash chase me into a corner. Flipped open my knife, and growled. 

Stray dogs, are we now? Ash wasn't slowing down, running at me.

"Even if I am a dog, at least I have honor." I said, flipping Ash off.

--------------Davis's POV------------------

No... it can't be...

Is what Ash said true? Is Trenton gone? And I can't bring him back?

But I'll still try.

I looked up, to look at Ash, but it was gone, and it had left a trail of Ash. Tawy was gone too. 

TAWY!

I ran along the ash, hoping I could actually do something. I hope Tawy made it out before Ash caught her. I turned the corner, hoping they weren't here. They were. And Tawy was in the corner, backed into the wall.

She clearly fought well, as there were a lot of nicks and scratches and some deep cuts on Ash visible from the angle I was standing at.

But Ash had gotten the better of her. Tawy's arm had deep slits in it, and the rest of her had so many scratches they were uncountable.

And her expression radiated pure pain. I don't think she knew I was here.

...You thought you could stop me? You are way too weak for that, all of the Rainbow Friends are. *knife slices another slit* Listen here. You are nobody. And no one cares that you are here but me. And *takes other hand and starts slitting it* I only care that you won't make it out of here, but first experience a lot of pain.

Ash then took the knife, and cut Tawy's bad eye, causing her to cry out.

I won't stand this any more. I ran and jumped at Ash, causing it to lose balance. There goes all the hope for Tawy's eye. 

Tawy was watching, and knew she had to help. She lifted her hand with the knife still in her grasp, and threw it, while a waterfall of blood came from her hand.

It met its mark. Ash's chest. Its heart.

Tawy saw that, and said "I probably won't wake up. Just know... your boyfriend... is really lucky... to have... you."

Ash didn't care. It pulled out the knife in its chest, and tried to knock me off. But it was too weak, from the damage to its heart. It fell. It was still moving, but I could tell its time was up.

Fuck you... and... red...

I no longer cared what it was saying. I ran toward Tawy who was out in a pool of her own blood.

I sure hope she makes it. 

There was no time to ponder on the state of her, right now she needed to get to the infirmity. I picked her up and ran.

The infirmity had life support (don't ask), but I'd never had to use it before. Placing Tawy down, I turned on the life support and hooked her to it with these weird tubes. Then I bandaged up all of her wounds, aware that the cot was nearly soaked with blood. I cleaned up her eye and bandaged it up.

I think I did a good job, but Trenton was always a better doctor than me.

I looked around just now realizing that this room looked like a murder scene. There is SO much cleaning I need to do.

As if on clue, Blue walked in, asking "Davis, do you know where all the blood came-". He saw the walls and floor, then Tawy.

"So that's Tawny? Why does this room look like a murder scene?" I only now realized that the rest of the Rainbow friends didn't know who Ash was.

"I'll tell you, and everyone else, after I clean up all this blood. Please help me." I said expecting Blue to get suspicious. He didn't.

----------------Time skip-----------------------

The blood was everywhere. It took SO long to get off of every fucking thing. Curse you, Ash. 

Speaking of Ash, its body disappeared, and no one cared.

"Finally. Please go get the others, Blue. I'm not saying this twice.". I doubt I will get to sleep anytime soon.

They all came, and I started.

"When I was here the first time, I created another being. Its name is Ash. I don't remember why I created that sick motherfucker, but I did. Ash can't feel anything but anger. And it had many voices. One, its real one, was unearthly, and it never used it. But the rest of them were soft and feathery. It would whisper to you in those voices, and you would think they are your conscience. They would tell you the worst things. Drive you insane."

I looked up and asked "So, then Tawny comes in. She is another one of my creations. She was the second one, actually. She was a human, but she hurt Ash, so I made her a Rainbow Friend to keep Ash in line. Well, Ash being Ash, snapped her spine, so I chained Ash up. It hated me. And as revenge, it had Tr-Red go insane. (The Rainbow Friends don't know that Trenton is Red). So I asked Tawy to come from Boston and help me do something about Ash. She is the only one who could hurt it."

"Our plan was for me to confront Ash, while Tawy comes up behind it and stabs it. But Ash found out, and chased Tawy into a corner. They had a knife fight, and Ash overpowered Tawy. It slit her arms, and cut her bad eye. Then I came and distracted Ash for a few seconds, in which Tawy threw her knife at Ash's heart, and passed out. Ash died soon after that." It was hard for me to say all of this.

"I know, I should have told you. I'm sorry. I understand if you don't trust me. I wouldn't if I was in your place." Everyone but purple said that they trusted me, and I was shocked.

Yellow and Cyan left, knowing this talk was over. They were followed by purple (in the vents), Orange, and Blue.

Green stayed; asked "Do you think Red will get better?". I wish I could say yes.

"I don't know. It tortures me, because Ash said that he is a shell now." I said dejectedly. 

"I'm sorry. Red must have meant a lot to you." Green said. I felt my face heat up, and quickly added "Not like that".

"But Tawy said-"

"Nope." When did she even have time to chat with Green?

"Okay. See you later."

I hope Trenton wakes up soon.

--------------------------------------------

1419 Words! Woo!

[angelvibezluv]

Thoughts on planets in the 12th house

Sun in 12th Looking at the world from a distance. You enjoy solitude. Away from society and within your imagination. You can see the bigger picture. You act upon your dreams to turn them into a reality. But at times you procrastinate as you tend to dream the whole day away. As you catch yourself drifting off too far, you find that you have to ground yourself back into this reality. Back into society. You may feel as if others have forgotten who you are or as if they don’t even know who you are. You feel alienated. Maybe you can’t, but everyone can see that you come up with the best creative ideas. You are a true artist. You are compromising and you accept those you feel for. Those who are alone and have no place to go. But you can have a hard time seeing things for what they are. Or you just don’t want to accept things for what they are. You may try to convince and lie to yourself often. Try not to hide yourself too much. You deserve to be seen.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Moon in 12th Your dreams are everything to you. Similar to Sun in 12th you like to disappear and spend time alone. You may like to sleep the day away because you rather be in that world. A world that isn’t like this one. A world where everything you desire comes true when you close your eyes. Though your internal realm manifests in the physical way faster than the rest. You are a daydreamer. You may feel as if you’re already living within your fantasy. A place where you feel most comfortable. You may have many dreams of your past experiences. They seem familiar. Like you’ve already lived through them before. You feel extremely connected to them. Unrealistic but intuitive. You may feel as if you have a hidden psychic ability. You are sensitive to energies so you must be careful with those you surround yourself with. Remember to protect your own energy.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Mercury in 12th You like to communicate your thoughts through art. Writing and drawing. You speak slow. Almost as if you’re pondering on your thoughts as you speak. Trying to think of the wisest thing to say. You take your time. You give great advice because you think of what’s best for everyone. Keeping in mind that others have their own thoughts and feelings as well. Though at times you may have clouded judgement. Finding it hard to think clearly. The emotions and feelings of others influence your own thoughts. You can confuse yourself easily. Losing your train of thought. Thinking of one thing and forgetting it soon after. “I feel like...” is something you say a lot. Going on and and until you decide not to share your thoughts longer. Keeping them a secret.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Venus in 12th You are the romanticizer. You have many romantic fantasies. Dreaming of the perfect significant other. You long for this love to come true. Dissvoling the boundaries of this physical realm. You feel deeply connected to those you value in your life. Staring them deep into their eyes as you create an unspoken connection. A spiritual connection. You are naturally gifted with creative skills. Feeling pleasure when creating art and diving into your imagination. You attract a lot of secret admirers. You seem to be out of reach so they watch you from the shadows. Becareful with showing compassion to everyone you meet. Your way of self care is isolating yourself from there rest of the world to self reflect. Though it can get lonely, especially when it comes to relationships. But once you do find yourself a love interest you keep them a secret. You don’t feel the need to show them off to the world.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Mars in 12th You attack your dreams with force and passion. You are full of vitality but you can be unaware this. You are restless as your passion knows no bounds. You want to do as much as possible. But you tend to drain yourself out easily. Finding yourself needing excessive amounts of rest. You have a this sex appeal that you may be unaware of. Fierce, confident and dominating. But you can be impatient, and forceful. You may try to avoid conflict but you are braver and stronger than you think. So protective, finding yourself defending others without a thought. But you mustn’t let these energies to control you. Your impulsive decisions can get you into a lot of trouble. A lot of sexual fantasies and scenarios happen in that head of yours. You may have a lot of hidden enemies lurking in the shadows. Those looking for an argument. It’s seems like they want to challenge you and poke at your weak spots.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Jupiter in 12th You are highly spiritual or extremely religious. Interested in connecting with with whatever you believe in. You are attracted towards esoteric and taboo things. Tarot cards, astrology, and maybe even witchcraft. You want to learn and experience it all. Your private space may be filled with incense, candles and crystals. You are so wise and some may even call you physic. Collecting information from your dreams and adding your own meanings and reasonings. Your empathy is out of this world and you have so much to give. You may enjoy charity work and giving back to others. Though you rather remain anonymous for these selfless acts for kindness. At times you can get lost in your own world. As you tend to overdue it. You love to travel to wherever your mind takes you.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Saturn in 12th You may have felt like you missed out on the unicorns and rainbows in the earlier years of your life. As if your innocence was taken away. Growing up you felt as if you were more mature than the rest. As if you were extremely aware for your own age. You may have been restricted from anything that had to do with spirituality. Not being allowed participate in occult like things. You take your dreams seriously and you work hard to achieve them. Though there can be delays and road blocks. Although things may not always go your way you are highly creative. Never doubt yourself. Eventually all your hard work will pay off and your dreams will come true. You are so imaginative, and always working on your creative skills. You will be able to benefit greatly from your skills one day. You might even profit off them.. ✨

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Uranus in 12th You have the wildest and craziest dreams. They’re always a good story to tell. They can be confusing and chaotic. Your ideas tend to be misunderstood by others. Ideas that only makes sense to you. At times you may feel as if you have this psychic ability to see the future. Having many prophetic dreams. You are insightful and your intuition is heightened. Your imagination is out of the ordinary. Out of this world. Very different from the rest. You may have been called weird, but soon enough you became an inspiration. Others followed in your foot steps. Admiring your creativity, wishing they could be as skilled as you. You are extremely influential. You’re always one step ahead. Living an unconventional life as a traveller, artist or writer. Living in your own realm of reality, as if you’re not even here.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Neptune in 12th You seem to be living in this.. eternal dream state. You are incredibly intuitive and sensitive to the energies around you. You can always feel when something is off. Your dreams may be foggy and you can forget them quickly so writing them down in a dream journal can be extremely beneficial. You may not find interest in daily routines. Your mind wonders off quite often. Way too often. Constantly zoning out and finding it difficult to stay focused. Grounding yourself will be extremely important. As well as finding creative outlets to channel your imagination and to keep yourself busy.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

Pluto in 12th You feel you must dig into your own darkness so that you can come out strong enough to help others. You give others this sense of power that intimidates them. You can sense their energies. Especially negative ones. You go through many transformations on your own. Once you come out of hiding everyone will notice your dramatic changes. Though you can be prone to addictions as you may find it hard to deal this darkness. You may be afraid of it. The power and intensity within you. So you conceal them. You may have many dark thoughts and scary dreams. You’re always staring into the abyss.

・゜. ✭・. .・✫・. ゜. ・。.

𐐪𐑂 love, angel 𐐪𐑂

[alreadyblondenow]

I loved you first, but you’re not the last

“....You’re special so it requires extra effort. Happy Valentines and happy first day of being a couple,”

Pairing: Mark Lee x female!reader

Genre: Angst, SMUT, fluff, childhood best friends to lovers

WC: 4,588k

Warnings: Fake dating, break up,swearing, mentions or other idol, reader x Taeyong in the end, Taeyong as Mark’s brother, unprotected sex, virginity loss, a lot of making out, mentions of making out, touching, a small amount of dirty talking, oral sex (female receiving), overstimulation

A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I get my internet connection back. Gosh I hope this posts. Part of Request Party

It was in the middle of the night when you received a call that did not just woke you up, but also woke your whole being. Body, mind and soul.

“You’re back?” crankily you sat up from bed, scratching your heavy eyes and about to get out of bed because the person on the other line is right outside your house, waiting for you.

He has been away and gone for too long because of college... and you should be excited as you go downstairs to meet him, but you know why he’s here and it’s no good news. Let’s face it, this night will not end nice.

“Here goes nothing,” you murmured. Wrapping yourself with your thick jacket before you finally step outside.

And the moment you opened the door, snow was falling and you didn’t miss how the snow landed peacefully on Mark’s eyelashes. Eyes looking straight to you, those sad eyes that can’t hide the pain that he’s holding. A pain that you caused.

You wanted to finally reunite first with a hug, but he got ahead of you and took your chance to show him how much you missed him.

“How could you?” he started, eyes still locked on yours. “I thought we were going to wait and do it right- how could you date my brother while I was away?”

Even you find it cruel. What you did to Mark was cruel, selfish, and unforgivable. And truth be told, you don’t have the right words now. You wanted to explain of course, but you’re scared it might break him even more. “I love your brother,” you said softly. Not even brave enough to look him in the eye because you feel bad.

“You loved me first,” he bite back. And you can’t help but be weak in front of him and cry. Usually whenever you cry, he will walk towards you and remind you how much you mean to him. But you guess not tonight, maybe you don’t deserve love tonight.

“You left me, remember?” you dried your tears and tried being brave even just for a short period. Just until you have the guts to walk away.

“Whatever. It’s not yet too late. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy,”

He finally said his true purpose tonight. This was his last chance and the only to win you back. But even though he has never been more honest in his whole life except tonight, he feels like not even telling you his feelings can bring you back to him. Mark was so frustrated that he has tears in his eyes already that you wanted to dry so bad. But if you really want him to respect the relationship you have with his brother, then this is the perfect time.

“I may have loved you first, but your brother is the last man I’ll love. I’m sorry Mark,”

And just as you finish saying those hurtful words, you finally have the bravery to turn your back on him and ignore his shouting that you’re sure your parents and neighbors heard. This is you throwing a decade of good friendship because of unrequited love.

FOUR YEARS AGO

The day before Valentines day, you don’t know what’s up with your mood or with you in general, because you’ve been so envy with the people around you, couples to be exact. As you admire happy couples in school who celebrates Valentines as early as now, you can’t help but to imagine someone.... someone that will give you flowers, chocolates... kisses, or whatever you’ll accept in whole heartedly.

Valentines is like Christmas, it’s a day of giving and receiving. But that only applies if you have someone special whom you can spend the day with and exchange shiny, glittery, and sparkling Valentine cards with.

“I can be your fake boyfriend, come on it will be fun,” he raises his seagull eyebrows and smirked. Come to think of it, it’s not a bad idea. You’ve been best friends even before kindergarten, you watch each other grow and went through puberty together until the next thing you know, you’re printing college applications together in your room because his printer broke down.

“Let’s not go to college without having the experience of high school love... you know, let’s have fun before we graduate with flying colors. Let’s go to parties, participate in Valentine-gram tomorrow, go to prom together. What do you say?” he added.

“But everything’s fake? What’s the point of fake dating if we already look like were dating ever since we started being friends?” You whine and flop on your bed, Mark did the same thing.

“Don’t think about it too much, just say yes,” for a moment you both just stared at the ceiling, wondering what could go wrong if you started fake dating. “Anyway, you don’t have a choice. I need to get home and answer these- Bye, you’re my girlfriend now!”

“W-what? Mark-“

And just before you could reason out with him, he’s gone with his college applications and you’re left with your thoughts and excitement. You don’t know why but Mark’s crazy idea made your heart jump, it’s like a good electricity that made you look for your art materials and spend the whole evening making your fake boyfriend a blue shiny, glittery, and sparkling Valentine card.

Even if the motive was fake, the effort was real and it felt good and right at that very moment.

But little did you know that his idea of fake dating was only his way to not shock you when he finally confess his feelings to you.

That’s right, your best friend is in love with you.

If she wears blue tomorrow I will confess to her. He tells himself as he stares in his ceiling, feeling the same excitement and electricity in his heart. Trying so hard to sleep but he kept on thinking about you and can’t help but feel the excitement for tomorrow again.

“You and Y/n started dating? Since when?” Mark’s mother exclaimed happily while driving. Looking at his son admire the roses he got you from the flower shop downtown.

“We’re just starting mom. Thanks for helping me pick these up by the way,”

“Oh there she is! Wearing blue! Oh I never realized how you two grew such good looking kids until now,”

Mark breathed in and let it out with a smile, thankful that you wore his favorite color, because he can’t continue to hide his feelings for you. Maybe you and him are really bound to happen.

As you wave goodbye to Mrs. Lee with a bright smile, there you see Mark carrying a unique bouquet of roses and your eyes immediately went big and sparkled because. Not to mention your heart beats so hard and fast because he looked so handsome even in his casual clothes.

“Wow- I’m speechless, these are beautiful. Where did you get these?” you accept the bouquet as he hands it to you with a smile. Engraving the look of your face in his mind and heart, swearing to himself that from now on he will make you happy like this everyday.

“It’s a secret. You’re special so it requires extra effort. Happy Valentines and happy first day of being a couple,” he said and planted a kiss on your forehead. Something so natural for you and him, but today is different. Nonetheless, you believe that today will be a beautiful and eventful day.

In the see of people wearing red and white in your school’s hallway, you and Mark are happy wearing blue. Such a sad color but you wearing it makes him the happiest guy today. Everywhere you look has a dash of red and pink, hearts are hanged here and there and almost everyone has red roses on their hand... except you.

Because you’re holding a bouquet of rainbow roses.

This year’s Valentines wasn’t like any other Valentine’s you usually have. Today you have Mark.

You have Mark to hold your hand while you walk on the school’s hallway. You have Mark to look at you so lovingly that your heart melts whenever you catch him looking. You have Mark to take you out on a date after school and take cute photos in a photo booth. You have Mark to share a big drink with two straws.

And most especially, you have Mark to kiss you under the dark sky full of stars in front of your house.

His lips were soft as expected. And the way his tongue swipes on your lip in the most subtle way just makes you want him to kiss more. He smiled in between kissing when you pulled him closer and kiss him more when he was about to pull away. And oh! You did not miss the way he softly moans, such music to your ears but sad to say you can only hear them tonight.

“Did you liked my Valentine card? I left it in your locker,”

You finally pulled away and surprised him. Wiping away the spit from your mouth, you wiped Mark’s as well. He only smiled to you and you wish he would stop doing it because you’re growing a little crush on him already.

“It’s full of glitters, it’s blue and it has watermelons. Of course I love it” he said then did it again, melted your heart with that damn handsome smile.

“Good,” you said softly, fixing his hoodie and finally giving him a bear hug that he deserves. “I don’t want this night to end,” you finally admitted it.

“Then let’s not end it,”

“Wait, you’re not faking anymore aren’t you-“

And just like that Mark cut you off with a deep kiss. Nothing like how he kissed you earlier. This time he was holding you tight that you’re almost out if breath and you feel like he’s about to crush you anytime. But the way he kissed you... it’s his way of confessing his love to you.

On the following days, everything changed between you and Mark. Though it’s clear that what you feel for him is only just a crush now and he knows it, still the guy is hopeful that you will love him like how he loves you.

Mark is the perfect definition of consistent. He showed you how he feels for you each day, and each day he became better than the day before, sweeter and bolder. He was putting everything on the line for you, showering you the love he has always kept in him. That’s why, in a matter of months you finally made it official with him and you can’t wait what the future has in store for the both of you.

“What do you love about me?” you asked out of nowhere while he was in the middle of playing his guitar. It wasn’t a hard question, but it made him stop and think for a second.

“I love how you give me constant reasons to love you even more each day,” the first line was enough, but Mark has more to say. “The way you kiss my cheek in the most friendly way but it always meant something to me, how you accepted me to be your friend and now boyfriend. I love how you love me, because being loved back by you is something so special that only us can understand”

What he said moved you of course. You didn’t know that he loves you deeply even before you started the fake dating thing. And knowing that Mark is just crazy and madly in love with you, you can’t help but wish that you are too. For now all you can do is accept his love, and give back however you can. You love him of course, but you can’t keep up with his love yet.

Days passed by and your relationship grew sweeter. More sweet words were exchanged and more kisses were given. Way more. Until you find yourselves making out whenever you two are alone.

“Aw!” you express your pain when Mark accidentally bit your lip. Something so sexy but it hurt and it made you both stop what you’re doing.

“Oops. Sorry, I got carried away” he says and took a look at your lips. “You’re fine right?”

“Mhmm” You answered, but just before he was about to start kissing you again, you stopped him by pulling away. “And it’s getting late, I think you should go home,”

“But I want to stay for more,” he said with a sly smile. Caressing your shoulders and soothing your back. If course you did not miss what he was talking about for more. You and Mark are young, and being new to this relationship thing just makes you both want to explore and feed each other’s curiosity.

“When I’m ready. I promise it will be worth the wait, for now it’s getting late and you need to go home... And work with some homework,” you gave him a final kiss and thankfully he did not pry.

The relationship you have with Mark was nothing like the friendship you used to have. The friendship was still there, of course, but friends don’t kiss your neck while you’re busy reading a book or slam you to the nearest wall and kiss you wildly. Friends don’t taste your favorite ice cream flavor through your tongue in the middle of a Netflix movie, and friends don’t get affected when they see you in your thin shirt and panties only whenever they give you a surprise visit.

“It’s the weekend, why are you here?” You whine as you try to go back to sleep. Clinging to your pillow and thick blanket but your boyfriend is currently losing his mind. Nonetheless, he remained a gentleman and covered your exposed leg and butt, covering you completely and keeping you warm. “Come to bed with me. Cuddle with me instead”

The young man’s eyes brightened and quickly joined you in bed. Swinging his arm around your waist from behind and nuzzling your neck to tickle you.

“I got into my dream college,” he whispered excitedly beside your ears which made you quickly turn to him and hug him.

“That’s why you’re here! Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realized” you planted kisses on his cheek the ones he loved receiving other than your slow and deep ones. “You used to talk about this ever since we were just kids. Ugh, I’m so proud of you”

“Promise to support me no matter what?” This time it’s him who went closer and planted kisses on your face. Of course you said yes, it has been his dream, but now that you knew you’ll miss him everyday and you know that the image of him walking away from you at the airport will truly hurt you, so you can’t help but fake it.

You rolled on top of him and his eyes immediately went big, wondering why and how are you like this. You have never been this bold and confident even in your wildest times, it’s like he’s seeing a totally different side of you and he loves it.

“Want to claim your early graduation gift?” you completely surprised him and started kissing his neck, while Mark is actually enjoying the moment by caressing your ass cheeks and teasing you by tugging your panties. You wish you have the same level of confidence with Mark, because you well know that between the two of you he is the one experienced with sexual activities, so now you try your best.

“Mmm” a loud pop surrounds your room as Mark sucks your nipples through your thin shirt. Taking turns with your left boob and right boob until your shirt is partly wet because of him and he can finally see your nipples. The sight of it gave him the feeling like no other. Of course this is not his first time seeing boobs, but this is different because it’s you.

The mere sight of your boobs just made him lose his mind and not to mention hard in no time. You watch him roll his head back while you slowly grind of top of him with a ruined shirt, looking so hot than ever so he quickly switched places with you. Putting you underneath him, looking down on you with hungry and lustful eyes.

“Do you wanna touch my boobs?” You asked him so innocently,reaching for his hand that’s placed on your waist. You put your hand and his hand inside your shirt, slowly lifting the wet shirt just above your chest to expose your boobs to him.

“I wish you were my first,” he said and immediately kissing your right boob while his hand kneads the other, pinching you or teasing you, or whatever he just wanted to hear something from you. And when he stopped making your nipples swollen, Mark just kept on kissing you softly and saying ‘i love yous’ over and over again. making you smile through his lips and soft touches, it is as if he’s taking away all your shyness and making you comfortable with the situation. The situation where your boobs are expose to him, your legs spread wide and Mark is in between your legs, grinding his clothed cock on your ruined and wet panties.

You were just kissing passionately but now you felt his hands hooked on your panties and the next thing you know he’s pulling it down without breaking the kiss until it reaches your thigh and eventually remove it but the shyness crept in again, making you close your legs and bite your lips in hesitation.

“Can I? Open your legs?” He asks, kissing your neck and calming you through the way he kisses you and touch you. And when he felt that you’re ready, he tried opening your legs again and this time you let him. Letting him place his body in between your legs, smiling through the kiss as if he’s telling you ‘good job’.

Mark spread kisses around your body, kissing every inch of your being, earning a giggle from you and with that he’s happy you’re not nervous anymore.

And when Mark pull away to discard his clothes, and release his cock, you were speechless when you saw it that you removed your own ruined shirt just to be fair ask him to get back in between your legs this instant.

“Lets do this right,” he said and immediately placed a finger on your wet slit that took your breath away. Up and down, you feel his finger nothing else, and when the moment comes and Mark put a finger in, your hand reached for his hand and tried to stop him because the pleasure was too much. But your handsome boyfriend was just smiling at you, smirking because you looked so ruined right now all you can do is smile back at him. And when he insert two fingers, he kissed you deeply and caught every moan you let out, every cry of his name, every groan, or whine.

And the next thing you know you’re closing your legs as you shiver and curl your body. Trying to get away from Mark because you’re sensitive already but your boyfriend is not stopping.

“First of many,” he says and stopped to pull out his fingers. But he is not yet done. He only gave you a few seconds to catch your breath and went back kneeling in between your legs again.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” you asked with ragged breaths and tired expression.

Mark did not answer you verbally, but he did physically. Licking your pussy juices and spreading your pussy lips while his eyes are completely locked on yours.

You said ‘no’, but you didn’t mean it and the moment his tongue swipes on your cunt you grabbed hold on your headboard and hold on for your dear life. Clenching and unclenching as Mark eats you out, trying so hard to close your legs but you can’t until your second orgasm drowned you quickly and all you can do is breathe in and out heavily.

“I hate you” you said but you’re clinging to Mark and sharing your warmth to him.

“I love you,” he said and intertwined his fingers with his, kissing your knuckles before he place both your hands above your head. You voluntarily spread your legs wider for him, and with his free hand he lines his cock finally.

“I didn’t know you’re big,”

What you said made him smirk and proved your discovery even more by pulling out entirely and slamming his cock back in your wet hole. “Now you know,” he said small grunts and went in deeper. He knew what he’s doing to you is too much pleasure because it’s your first time and also he can tell by the way you hold on to his hand.

“Planning to crush my hand?” he let out a cut giggle like he isn’t fucking you deep right now. How can he do that? Be insanely cute while doing something filthy to you.

“Y/n, I’m close can I go faster?” and you can only nod.

Fucking you faster and harder than earlier, you watch Mark become someone sinful when he started focusing on his own release, kissing your boobs while he fucks you, give your ass a tight squeeze, lick your neck like you’re a fucking ice cream and whisper dirty words or word that make you shy that you didn’t know you would love hearing. Like,

“Let me fuck you again,”

“You like it deep huh?”

“Y/n, you’re worth wait, you’re mine forever”

“This is the last pussy I’ll fuck,”

And in the end he pulled out and jerked in front of you, letting his cum fall on your lower abdomen and watch his cum drip to your sheets. It’s a shame that he can’t cum inside you, it would have felt great.

“Fucking shit- that sex was great,”

He rests his head on top of your boobs, but went back to kissing you again on the lips. Apologizing for his mess, aplogizing for his words and saying ‘i love you’ over and over again.

That morning, you stayed naked with Mark in bed for a few hours just talking and laughing, flirting and kissing. It felt great having a huge progress with your relationship, especially that it’s Mark who took your virginity.

“Hey, you okay?” he was talking about your pussy because even though he didn’t went hard earlier, he did fucked you a little bit harder knowing that it’s your first time. “I meant what I said earlier. Please be my last, I don’t want to give my love to anyone but you. It’s too early to talk about marriage but, I know it’s you. I’ll love you better each day, I promise”

Comfort, warmth and safety. That’s what you felt hearing those beautiful words from him that you became speechless and crashed your lips to him.

His promise was kept every day until you both finished high school together, enjoy the summer before he leaves and make unforgettable memories as many as you can.

But knowing that he’s going away to follow his dreams and fulfil his goals, Mark worried too much about long distance relationship and how it never worked.

“Are we really together now? I’m not dreaming right?”

Your sleep was disturbed when Mark called you in the middle of the night. Today, you taught him how to bake and had a couple of rounds during Netflix and chill, so to be honest you’re really exhausted and tired.

“Mark, we kiss, we date, we have sex almost everyday. Yes baby, we’re together for almost four months already. Now can we please go back to sleep-“

“Go down open your door. I’m outside”

And the moment you opened the door for him, you gave him a ‘shh’ sign, telling him that your parents are already asleep. You came closer to him for a kiss, and told him, “it’s real. I’m real. Can you please promise me to stop overthinking, you’re making me worry,”

He didn’t answer you but lowered his head. You knew he’s sorry and he’s just doing this for you,

“I love you, Mark. I’m yours forever,” you said and kissed him again. Deeply this time, to the point that it put you both in the mood and the next thing you know Mark is fucking you while he’s covering your mouth with his hand.

When Mark left you for college your relationship went downhill and you’re both getting hurt already. Fighting is part of the relationship, yes, but the fight you have with Mark almost everyday was becoming the reason why you want to distance yourself from him. You feel caged with how he love you, you feel like he’s strangling you with all these rules you need to follow to maintain trust in your relationship but nothing is working.

Until he finally realized what he’s doing to you.

So during his vacation, he visited you and you were so excited to the core that you welcomed him with a tight hug and the biggest smile. Only to find out that he wanted to break up.

But

“It’s just until we finish college. Let’s wait and do it right. I don’t want to fight for you while hurting you at the same time. Please understand. I’m not breaking up because I don’t love you. This time off will heal us both,”

The breakup did you no good. You were sad every day and to be honest you would rather want him to nag you than miss him like this and you can believe that between the two of you, he’s the one doing great in life. It makes you want to believe that he doesn’t love you anymore. Like the man you fell in love to, wasn’t there anymore.

“Still crazy about my stupid brother huh? Come here and help feed my fishes,”

His brother, Lee Taeyong, disturbed you and your ugly thoughts while you finish the drink their mom gave you during one of your visits.

“Well, college was good to you. I see you’re back and finally opening a bakeshop downtown” he hands you the fish food as you wait for him to talk and feed the fishes generously.

“I’m very much excited to open my bakery. Want to make cookies later instead of being broken hearted?”

And as days, weeks, and months pass by, not only Lee Taeyong making you forget about Mark, he also healed your heart and won it fair and square.

It started how he makes your heart flutter whenever he holds your hand while teaching you how to bake, how praises you and tell you that you look beautiful everyday, how he makes his kitchen your own little world during closing time and you’re sitting on the kitchen counter with Taeyong in between your legs and taking your breath away with a heated kiss.

When you and taeyong started dating, you experienced true love. You didn’t want to hurt Mark but what you have with Taeyong is real and you had to hide this from him for years and years and years, until you finally graduated in college.

And Tayong proposed to you. It was the only time you couldn’t hide your relationship from Mark anymore because Taeyong was the one who confessed to him.

*this is the part where you read the first part again JEJEHEH

[nwr77]

So, since I already posted the Valentine's Day piece, I guess I might as well do a bit of an introduction to my humanisations

So, this is what I call "Humanish AU":

It's a shapeshifter type deal, but no one really knows why or how it happens (except us. we know why), especially since it only happens on Sodor so no one ever attempted to study it, and the phenomenon is simply dubbed "Sudrian magic" (although the engines were under strict "no showing off to foreigners" policy until around 1980/1990s)

There is only one limitation discovered so far, and that is that they can't transform when they give up on themselves - ex. Hiro and Glynn being abandoned, Luke before he meets Victor again etc... (a.k.a when they're convinced they're going to be scrapped)

When they are in the humanish form, they barely seem like engines - the only "unnatural" thing is (sometimes) eye colour, which is dependent on the livery, and

retractable wheels, the amount and placement of which depends on ones wheel/axel configuration [ex. conf. 1'C2' would have 1 wheel on each shoulder, 3 rollerblade-like wheels (on each foot) and 2 wheels on each ankle. A type configurations have heelies instead, and diesels and electrics only have rollerblade-like ones since their configuration works differently]

They get phantom pains if their wheels are hidden for too long though

Wheel colour, just like eyes, depends on the livery, however when an engine has more than one dominant colour, wheels take the colour that mixing them would result in, whereas eyes are heterochromic

Humanish heights have nothing to do with the engine size, although it often seems like it.

It takes ages of practice to be able to choose your age, so no one really bothers, especially since mid-twenties (which are the basic age) are quite comfortable. There are exceptions though.

They are immune to human illnesses, but get injuries corresponding to their crashes/malfunctions

Longer lasting problems get translated too - ex. poor steamer = very weak lungs/trouble breathing

Somehow they can get tattoos though?? But they do show up on engine afterwards, so...

They are kind of like SU gems, in the sense that they don't need food but can eat if they want

They are very much still capable of getting drunk though (and no, I don't have a valid reason for that, I just thought it would be funny to see them drunk)

TV show and books still exist and they're kind of famous for that, so they ain't gonna be scrapped

Since around 1995 they have had a choice of staying in sheds or in special apartments issued for them, especially since steam went at least partially out of use

They were required to register themselves with some sort of "surnames" when they moved though, just in case someone tried investigating

They can work part time jobs if they want to

Most engines do

They also have access to the internet, and as of 2022 most of them have social media (twt, tt and fb being the most common)

It is possible, and not that uncommon, that engines get married

They obviously come in all shades of rainbow, but there has been a long running misunderstanding in that no one really explained to them what sexual attraction is (someone did explain sex though) - so they categorise it mostly by whether or not they want to ... partake in the activities connected, since none of them really experiences that attraction because well... they're machines, after all (but they don't really realise that). To be fair though, the only time it's relevant is when an engine would date a human, which happened once so far, and that human also happened to be ace so not much has been explained.

Now, I present the first 7, including some headcanons and heights lmao

(2nd pic includes wheels) (that's the only difference) (redraw here)

#1 Thomas

Wears his number on the back, like a letterman jacket type deal

Bi (preference for male-presenting individuals)

Configuration C, therefore has only 3 rollerblade-like wheels (6 total)

Has a lot of scars all over, but they're mostly small. The biggest one he has is on his abdomen from Lost Treasure

193 cm (6'4"), making his humanish form 56 cm (1'10") taller than his wheel diameter.

Involved with James since mid 2010s

Moved to the apartments in 1996 under the surname "Tank" (he wasn't feeling very creative)

Originally roomed with both James and Percy, until the latter moved out

Really likes dogs

No one knows who told him the mullet looks good, but they're all cursing that person under their breath

Doesn't work a side job; he earned a lot of money from the show, but also he's still full time passenger train with Annie and Clarabel because the fans want to go with him

Has "#1" tattooed on his wrist (it shows up on the half round thing above his front wheel)

Loves kids and is very good with them - envies Connor being able to become a preschool teacher (since he's not as famous)

^ Still helps out where he can

Initiates a lot of rollerblade races

Loses most of them

Likes food a lot, especially cookies - has a massive sweet tooth

#2 Edward

As seen, wears their number as a bobby pin

Pan and Non-binary, chill with he/him pronouns because it took over a century for them to realise that they/them is more comfortable

Configuration 2'B

Has surprisingly little scars, but the most prominent ones are on his forearms that look like... (you know the type)

Doesn't like showing them

188 cm (6'2"), making them 6 cm (2 in) taller than his wheel diameter

Gets called short by people who haven't actually met them because of people they hang around

Has broken the law by being romantically involved with Henry since 1932, but no one except James knew, so they're chill

They got married in 2018

But they've been living together since 1995, and they chose the surname "Briley" together after looking through an English surnames list

Has a weird liking for snakes

Owns an Emerald Tree Boa

Bill and Ben have considered him their Dad for a loooong time

Doesn't like eating, but enjoys tea a lot

Is very artistic

Found a job in a tattoo parlor

Has a small heart tattoo that says "Love Forever" on the inside of their left hand (it's barely visible, but it shows up on his front left bumper)

#3 Henry

Wears his number on a chain attached to the pants

As I mentioned, engines' view of sexual attraction is kinda skewed, the fact that he identifies as ace basically means he's sex negative (not completely repulsed though)

But also, all kinds of innuendos just fly right over his head, so he's an innocent type ace

Configuration 2'C as of now, but 2'C1' pre Flying Kipper

Speaking of which, while the rebuild at Crewe didn't change his frame - he's still as tall and skinny as he was before - but it did make him look different, with his skin paling and his hair being slightly more orange and curling/waving naturally

He also got burned up pretty badly on his face and left upper body, and has a lot of (?)stitch scars, as well as some small regular ones

218 cm (7'2"), making him the second tallest of the steam team and like top 5 of Sodor

As stated above, has been with Edward for almost a century, getting married in 2018

Also uses "Briley" as his surname

Has been living in mostly his humanish form since the tunnel incident

At first because it was more comfortable, and then he got so used to it that it felt weird otherwise

Because of that he knows his abilities and limits better than other engines, and has slightly better control of movement

That being said wins a lot of the races - not because he's the fastest, but because he knows the best ways to accelerate/avoid loosing speed on difficult points (so far no one else figured out that the best way to get downstairs on wheels is backwards, for example)

If there's a designated sober engine at a party, it's probably him because he often works morning shift, and still pulls the Kipper

Works in a gardening shop (not as a clerk though. he's there to take care of plants they're selling and getting things from the tallest shelves)

#4 Gordon

Wears his number as a brooch/pin

Closeted gay (he thinks only Scotsman knows, but there are a couple others with great gaydars that know too)

Configuration 2'C1'

220 cm (7'3"), the tallest of the Steam Team, but not the tallest of Sodor.

17 cm (7 in) taller than his wheel diameter

Treats Rebecca like his daughter (she considers him a father figure too)

Lives with her since 2000, and they have a guest room specifically for Flying Scotsman

Prior to that, he lived alone for around 3 years

Uses "Gresley" as a surname, and is teased for it by most engines

Says keeping animals is ridiculous

But it's because he secretly gets very upset whenever they die, even if he doesn't interact with them much

Except fish. He genuinely doesn't like fish (neither for eating nor petting)

Has a vast knowledge about all kinds of engines. At first he was interested because of his pride, but as time went on he got fascinated

Because of that, he's heavily involved in choosing next engines to be bought, as he knows the requirements of the railway from a practical perspective, and likely knows what models would do well to match them

#5 James

Wears his number on his shirt

One of the first engines to come out after homosexuality was legalised

Configuration 1'C

Has a fake leg from the brakes incident, as well as burns on both his legs and multiple other scars

Doesn't really care whether or not others see them

165 cm (5'5") making him one of the shortest standard gauge engines on Sodor

2 cm shorter than his wheel diameter, which makes him extremely salty because he is the only LY&R Class 28 with wheels so big

President of "Tall Engines Are The Enemy" until he gets drunk - he gets very touchy and apologetic with them then

Excellent gaydar; it's literally like he can smell queerness (and yes, he's one of the aforementioned people that know about Gordon)

Played matchmaker for Edward and Henry, Emily and Caitlin and Douglas and Oliver, but absolutely did not notice Thomas pining for him for 2 years

(Which gets even better if you consider he's actually the one who started pining first)

Entirely too invested in others' love lives

Very into style and make-up

So much so that he launched his own make-up line

Did make-up for every one of his friends that wanted to wear some at their wedding

Cannot stand some of his friends fashion choices; he thinks Gordon should have more variety, as he literally only wears his uniform on daily, Henry should absolutely not wear skinny jeans along with the loose sweaters (it makes him out to be even more of a stick than he actually is!), Toby's individual pieces don't match each other, Thomas is completely hopeless, etc...

Like Thomas, he also loves dogs

They adopted their first puppy not long after Percy moved out

Obsessed with the colour red (aside from the brakes incident's anniversary. He can't force himself to wear/use red things then)

Therefore his favourite alcohol is cherry vodka.

Uses surname "Croy", as it vaguely translates to "the red one"

Enjoys fruits and sweets, but not many other foods.

#6 Percy

Wears his number as a button/clip to close his mail bag

Demiromantic

Used to have a crush on Thomas but never acted on it, and luckily for him got over it before 1×5 happened

Configuration B

Would be 185 cm (6'1"), but he's the only one bothered to learn controling his age

Because he feels weird being viewed as an adult (despite being one of the oldest), he appeared 12 until 2017, then Duck convinced him to change to 14

147 cm (4'10") as 12 year old and 167 cm (5'6") as 14

(the only reason he changed was to tease James by being taller)

Used to live with Thomas and James since 1996 to 2016, then moved in with Duck instead, not wanting to be "a constant third wheel"

Uses "Trojan" as a surname (it's the nickname for his basis, if you didn't know)

Spends the most time on social media of all the engines

Has the best knowledge of memes

Can be really annoying with them

Surprisingly speedy

Works full time in postal service, be it pulling the mail train or being an actual postman

Likes spicy food, but can't handle it

Drinks despite looking like a teen, and is one of the ones with the best tolerance

#7 Toby

Wears his number on his cap

Omni with a preference for female-presenting individuals

Configuration C

183 cm (6'0")

Isn't all that fond of being humanish

His crush on Henrietta (who can't transform) is probably at least partially at fault for that

She only convinced him to move to the apartments in 2010, since it would be more beneficial for the railway as a system

Uses "Tram" as a surname

Keeps doing his normal duties full time

Unless Henry's working, he's usually called on everytime the gang holds a party because they need someone sober

Toby never drinks, because the smell of alcohol is highly disturbing to him

He also doesn't like parties (introvert bby)

Out of every aspect of being humanish, he likes curling up with tea and a book on the couch in the evenings

That's it for now, I suppose

(edit)

Decided to add Emily here, since I lack the motivation to finish the second part of these that she was originally in.

#12 Emily

One of the very few that doesn't wear her number - partially because it took her a long time to get one in the first place, and partially because the heart shaped bracelet that has it is now worn by someone else

Lesbian, and the episode "Best Engine Ever" was her gay awakening

2'A1' configuration, which means she got heelies

183 cm (6'0") (same as Toby)

With what I mentioned about her awakening, you're probably guessing that she's romantically involved with Caitlin

You'd be right, as they'd been dating since 1970s and got married in 2008, being the first queer couple to do so amongst the engines

Has taken up making clothes as a hobby in 1920s and is making somewhat of a career with it

Currently has a double surname, Mag Raith-Georgeson, with Mag Raith being her own, Scottish idea and Georgeson being the original surname of streamlined siblings

Has been living in the apartments since 1998, alone until 2006

Has the highest alcohol tolerance on all of Sodor

Now that's it

[chocoladieimagines]

Hey can I request akatsuki fluffy HC with a black reader

Thanks 😊

Sure thing! It took me a bit of a while to think of an idea but I got you! I also hope it’s fine that I am comfortable only doing a few of the members in the Akatsuki🤎🍫Enjoy!

Akatsuki x Black! Reader

For one of their missions, two people are sent to a village called Nikkōgakure, meaning Village Hidden by/among Sunlight. They see a possibility of finding the person they’re looking for by infiltrating a local rally, but only experience the feeling of nostalgia after seeing a childhood friend. Y/N L/N is a civil rights activist who has become very well known throughout villages and is sought out by citizens for social change.

Kisame Hoshigaki

- The Akatsuki had to operate in teams that would be most efficient in earning money but also not draw attention to themselves. With two shinobi, it’s the bare minimum to have an actionable team that can accomplish goals.

- Two individuals highly skilled such as Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha are sent to the village, acquiring information about the shinobi forces so the Akatsuki could provide more mercenary services.

- Aside from tracing Jinchuriki, a back up plan was to make countries increasingly dependent on Akatsuki’s services, corner the entire market for shinobi missions and eventually put all of the shinobi villages out of business.

- Kisame didn’t expect the village to have such an ethereal beauty; everything in honeyed tones like there was a layer of tinted filtering added to the sky. As the sunlight sauntered in, it ignited shadows to vivid oranges and reds, giving vivacious hues to the village like it was another world of art.

- The broad days of sunlight allowed tenacious vegetation; flowers seen in every turn he made.

- The truth was that the people could never see flowers too many times; they brought flowers into hospitals and graveyards, used them as a vibrant way to express their love and would plant them in their backyards though they couldn’t bear any edible fruits. The village spent thousands replacing them along the streets and as soon as they would brown, more are brought in.

- “Maybe this place wouldn’t be so bad.” Kisame said to himself but it was more likely loud enough to be heard just between the proximity of him and Itachi.

- “Yes, there’s something about it that makes it look so peaceful. Like it’s ducked off from the world’s ugliness and imperfection.” Itachi spoke. “Therefore, we will not spark any attention on ourselves. We will only pursue what is absolutely necessary.”

- Kisame followed in Itachi’s words as they watched villagers gather inside of a place, soon walking behind them.

- They both sat in the corner of the room at a small table, everyone’s conversation dying down after the lights dim.

- Kisame heard the sound of heels becoming discernible as they progressed closer to the stage. Once they stopped, the spotlight shined on a beautiful woman.

- He felt himself be captivated by your features; dark satiny brown skin, these dark expressive eyes—pools of honey each time the sunshine hits them, as you wore your hair naturally in its born state.

- You greeted everyone with a warm smile and it seemed a lot of your audience has seen you before—Kisame knew he definitely has.

- He remembered you back in Kirigakure, Village Hidden by Mist or The Hidden Village of The Land of Water. He often saw you tagging along the crewman that traded goods with his village. Having many adventures as a shinobi prior to joining the organization, some of his missions consisted of being involved with the lakes featured along the many islands composing his village.

- The two of you have crossed each other up until the point you kindly greeted him and couldn’t help but feel intrigued by his unique features. He didn’t take offense from it, taking in mind how your voice sounded out of admiration and saw your hand raise a bit like you wanted to feel his features you thought as surreal.

- He only smirked a bit and answered that that was the heredity of his folk, then turned the question on you and asked, “How come whenever the sun hits your skin, you start glowing?”. He watched you stare at him in shock.

- From there on, you two had nice conversations but then you suddenly didn’t see him anymore. You assumed he was getting caught up in a lot of missions and became too busy, which lead to dreading if he could’ve been killed.

- This proceeded for years unbeknownst of him participating in the Akatsuki. But today, he saw you stand behind the podium winning cheers from the crowd. He felt the weird feeling of an adrenaline rush pumping through his bloodstream as his heart rate accelerated by the second he kept looking at you.

- He began to space out from your words, then pondered to himself how he followed the code of the Shinobi in order to “kill his emotions”, which would prevent the average from running wild and causing the mission to be a failure.

- Despite if he was able to feel a drawback from violence, he sadistically enjoyed fighting so there was nothing more that could ever make him feel so vulnerable. He didn’t want to look weak.

- Itachi noticed how Kisame stared at you and honestly he couldn’t blame him. But there was something he sensed other than the gravitation of your beauty, but more like Kisame was remembering you. Like he recalled your appearance from years ago and felt some type of desperation or allure to speak to you.

- “If you wish to speak to her, I recommend this cafe I saw not too far from here. Or take her for a stroll along the street side and visit this flower shop with the biggest garden. But do it when it’s getting darker— the time we’re not on duty.” Itachi assisted, much to his friend’s surprise. “Trust me, I don’t need my sharingan to see how you look at her.”

- With that, Kisame left an anonymous note, telling you to meet him at the heart of the village, where there’s an enormous flower bed, at 8. You wore a fitted kente dress with bell sleeves flaring at your wrists and adorned your hair with a head wrap—having the complementing color, red. His eyes lit up when he saw you approaching the address, watching you look around until you see a man rise from where he was sitting.

- Your mouth was agape in shock as you had a closer look, throwing yourself at him before slowly wrapping your arms around his neck. Kisame stiffened at your display of happiness since he wasn’t sure how you felt about his appearance, if you had a new life with someone or if you shared the same feelings as him. Yet, he wrapped an arm around your waist and walked with you that night.

Deidara

- Deidara felt at ease by the village he was assigned. Unfortunately, being tasked with Tobi made his experience less enjoyable than he would’ve liked.

- But he accredited Nikkōgakure for the artful displays of rainbow freckles adorning the window boxes, the raised medians, or by canopying storefronts. The village always seemed like it was in the presence of a clear sky; the sun mooring itself in the blue as if anchored to heaven’s ether. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold but adequate for the black cloak he was wearing.

- Tobi openly expressed his awestruck by continuously wanting to stop at places. He even grabbed a brochure upon entering which contained a map of the village, since they were aware of often having newcomers.

- He wandered different places to the point where Deidara would be looking in one direction and next thing turn to see that Tobi is gone. He caught him sniffing the ingredients being chopped up at a vegetable soup stall; tasting some of the scooped broth from the wooden spoon the cook used to mix.

- Deidara snatched him from the stand, “You dunderhead! Do you know what we were even sent here for—,” Tobi raised a finger in clarification. “Don’t answer that question. We are here because there was traces left of a jinchuriki, while you’re steady lollygagging around with your head stuck in a shit-filled world of cupcakes and rainbows called your ASS! Hm. It’s like I’m looking after a fucking child.”

- But then, he noticed that Tobi was looking in another direction; poking his finger out for a black swallowtail butterfly. His menacing glare made the male detect it was silent and looked towards Deidara. “I’m sorry, what did you say again?”

- The blond growled in frustration, chasing after Tobi until he caught him and punched him unconscious. With a huge knot on the man’s head, he snored with a snot bubble drawing from his nose as Deidara dragged him by the back of his collar.

- Suddenly, the snot bubble popped shortly after Tobi awakened. Five minutes into realizing Deidara was pulling him, he caught sight of an art exhibit.

- “Hey Deidara!” Tobi’s childish accent startled the boy. “How did you—” “Look! An art exhibit!”

- Deidara begrudgingly turned to his side to see what appeared to be a church with gardened—pruned—shrubs of hydrangeas; blossoming large, globe shaped flower heads in shades of purple, blue, pink and white.

- “I’m not falling for another one of your shenanigans.” He resisted. “Oh please! I promise this is the last stop! Gaah, I thought you liked art.” Tobi whined. “Art comes in many forms. What would you know about it anyway? Hm.” “It just looks so pretty in there. Do you even try to take your time with things once in a while? Ya know to soak everything in? Enjoy it while it lasts? Yeesh, you should indulge in yourself more.” “Shut it.”

-Although, in the back of Deidara’s mind, Tobi actually made a point. Their duties often consisted of violence after the lead of Nagato or “Pain” concluded that the only way the world would turn away from its constant warfare would be to experience such catastrophic death destruction that it could never again stomach the idea of conflict.

- Nikkōgakure had many amenities that it already looked like it was in its own world of peace. There were only a few times the members had a day off, why not take the opportunity to enjoy himself a bit while he had the chance now? “Your pondering silence means you’re letting my words settle in, doesn’t it? Go on, I’m waiting.” Tobi said, beginning to file his nails. “You really have the nerve to test my patience when it’s my decision to choose how we’re carrying out our mission, hm. I bet you chose an art exhibit just because you knew I like art.” Deidara anticipated. “Who cares? Can we just go in now?”

- Tobi rocked on his heels and swayed in place in impatience, mentally questioning what could possibly be keeping the boy from submitting into a positive answer. Deidara sighed, “Fine, whatever. We don’t have all day.”. The man-child squealed and raised his arms in the air as he quickly ran through the doors. Approaching the exhibit, Deidara’s interest in the hydrangeas returned; feeling drawn to reach out to a grouplet of periwinkle flowers. He was surprised to feel the sensation of paper, stroking his thumb on the cut out petals to realize they were made out of coffee filters. “Incredible, they look so realistic.” He thought.

- On entering, it was even more colorful inside; each of the whitewashed walls possessed by the colors refracting and dispersing from the sun’s light. The walls had pictorial designs of contrasting pieces like mosaics but as stained glass. They took on the designs of flowers with their leaves blooming from the lead frame by being painted along each side of the room. Most significantly, up in the front of the main entrance, there was a large window panel of a tree; it’s branches winding away from it into leaves of different colors. They were soft shades of pink, blue, yellow and green. “Truly beautiful.” Deidara thought.

- Then, he realized he lost track of Tobi. Although Tobi was an adult and could take care of himself (past tense “could”), it was more like he couldn’t because of his antics. Plus, he wanted to make sure they remained on track of their mission.

- On his search to look for him, he was still in amazement of the exhibit and found himself walking down different halls. The building was a combination of both indoors and outdoors. Some of the roofs became like a greenhouse; transparent ceilings allowing the sunlight to shine through as rooms became greenery with more artwork.

- There was a imperceptible voice down the halls, so he began to follow it. He was finally brought to another room but it was filled with people. He almost ignored it until he caught a glimpse of a girl. You were on stage, a blissful smile wide on your face while he acknowledged that you were the one speaking. He took a double take once he saw you; your hair is in tribal braids, free of your face as they accentuated your golden features. Your eyes never aged, they still spoke of your youth and liveliness.

- Just as he remembered, back in the days before he joined the Akatsuki, you two were friends in his home village, Iwagakure: Hidden Stone Village or The Hidden Village of the Land of Earth.

- You were a ceramist in the Ceramic Village, a small village in the Land of Wind, who was a practitioner of Hanasaki. Hanasaki was known for its pure white color and the series of fine cracks that run along its surface which resembled blossoming flowers (befitting its name). As it brought fame to Ceramic Village, Ninja of Sunagakure frequently requested that parts for their puppets be made in the Hanasaki style, but Hanaski was already difficult to produce for mere ceramics.

- Masho, leader of the ceramic village and created of Hanasaki, rarely took requests because of this. However, you were compliant with many ninjas including Deidara who used the high-quality clay because inferior clays wouldn’t take the exact forms he wanted nor would their detonation be as impressive. Hanasaki was the best clay he found as well as you being the best person he could rely on it from.

- Ceramic Village began running low on Hanasaki but you had set up kilns and workshops throughout villages and found different types of clay, including a muddy clay in the Village of Lies. Back in the village, Masho and other Hanasaki ceramists were killed because it was bringing the village to its downfall from hugely relying on Hanasaki as a source of income. The killer‘s motive was that it would be better to pursue new art styles.

- But, you survived because you often hung out with Deidara, flying on his C2 dragon (a large, flight capable dragon), while he showcased different explosives and experiments he made. You convinced him into throwing them into the air like they were fireworks so he wouldn’t hurt the tons of life below you. He enjoyed seeing your reactions to his explosives because he wanted to impress you, to show you that your clay wasn’t going to waste.

- This soon came to an end when he suddenly left the village as an S-Rank missing nin. Now that he was seeing you currently, many of his memories were brought back to him and so were his feelings. The instant he saw you made him feel warm inside, like he body began starving for sweetness and clung to an emotional sugar source. The sound of your laughter along with the people in the room ignited something in him.

- “Deidara! There you are. You know you shouldn’t run off like that, I was looking all over for you. But I gotta say, I knew you would explore this place top to bottom.” Tobi said. “You dumbass. It’s not my fault you got lost in here and along that, sounding like a baby looking for his mom. Hm.”. Tobi shook away what Deidara had to say and instead looked ahead to see you. “Sweet mama, whose the babe? Don’t try to deny it Deidara, I saw you making goo goo eyes at her,” He began nudging him. “Come on you can tell me. Who is she? Your girlfriend? Best friend?” “She is none of your business.” Deidara said through grunted teeth.

- He wasn’t sure about going up to you. He expected that you would be mad, if anything feel betrayed that he could’ve used you for Hanasaki clay. Really, he enjoyed your company and developed feelings for you. But he didn’t think that you returned them and after all, there were many other ninjas you made clay for. So, he left without telling you, not thinking it would mean much or have a significance.

- Yet, here he stood, watching you shake hands with the host of the event as everyone applauded you for your speech. “I may be a dumbass but you really would if you don’t go and talk to her.” Tobi chimed into Deidara’s trance. “Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t you think I would if I could. Hm.” “Why can’t you? She’s right there! The gods have chosen you two to meet each other again!” “Would you shut up.” While they were bickering, you slowly walked up to the blond, recollecting your memories of your old friend.

- “Deidara?” His body jolted at the sound of his name, like you scared him or he was caught by surprise. He slowly turned to look at you, his roseate cheeks burning when you were much closer to him than behind the podium. You looked even more attractive to him being a short distance away; the way your lashes distinguished the gold flame in your brown hues, the way the sunlight shining through the transparent walls hit your skin. “Long time no see.” He could only say through his awestruck, expressing his familiar smirk he always given you. Maybe Tobi did hand it to him this time, he could’ve been onto something all along.

Obito Uchiha

- “Tobi” arrived at Nikkōgakure on his own. Instead of it obligating to be a mission, he knew where your whereabouts were and visited the village following as you described.

- “Dear Tobi, It’s a village named Nikkōgakure. It is very beautiful here; there are flowers everywhere and the people seem so happy. You will notice the disappearance of clouds but a clear blue sky, making way for the sun’s rays. I believe Nikkōgakure has made a settlement somewhere near the outer circle of the equator since the village’s weather is always content and sunny—just right. Turns out, I will be included in a meeting with other kages in order to suggest a change in poverty villages or else referred to as slums. They are low income places where people were displaced in from wars. We are planning to be supplementing money and food into these villages so they may rise and expand on shinobi forces. Then we could affiliate our alliances for times of need...meet me at the sun perennial garden. I hope to see you soon. Sincerely yours, Y/N.”

- You met Obito after he was saved from White Zetsu who was following orders from an elderly Madara. You were a subordinate of Madara, who took you under his wing because of your omni-benevolence. Along with his Eye of the Moon Plan; replacing the contemporary world of violence and death with one where nobody ever needs to die, he spent his time keeping a close eye on Konohagakure to find a suitable pawn to take his place.

- Omni-benevolence meant that you had the capacity to be infinitely good and good in every capacity that good is recognized by any sentient being in existence. This associated with embodying virtues that consisted of your capability of seeking unity and being able to join others or have others join you. You subconsciously emitted an aura that could induce emotions; generally that of compassion, courage, peace or charity. The inducement would draw others to you; alluring social attraction to make people feel appreciation, respect, trust or a liking towards you. It would form an allegiance with that person or anyone you encounter.

- Madara observed this and thought he could use it as another tactic for his idealism of world peace. He could use you to align different villages who crossed each other as enemies and end all conflicts that contributed to war. At the time, since you were only a simple villager who worked at an orphanage in Konoha, it took little for Madara to send Black Zetsu to sway you into Madara’s plans. Black Zetsu opted that you were born with supernatural/psionic abilities and could be the aid for world peace, leading you into the mastermind behind it.

- From the moment on, you were by Madara’s side and helped tended to Obito’s injuries; following the procedure of removing his body parts too damaged to be healed and replacing them with limbs cultivated from the cells of Hashirama Senju. Obito felt frightened by the legendary Uchiha but immediately fell comfortable by your mere presence. He felt indebted to Madara for saving his life, along with you and was willing to render any assistance he could, an offer Madara made clear he would collect upon. However, you had no harmful intentions and would often share your backstory with Obito as a way of bonding.

- Being an orphan himself; Obito grew up without knowing who his parents were and was left in the care of his grandmother. Hence, he felt alone in the world and aspired to become the Hokage so that the people of the village could acknowledge his existence. Finding out that you were training your natural abilities by working at an orphanage, made him feel warm and felt as though you were doing him a favor too.

- After witnessing the loss of Rin Nohara by Kakashi unintentionally plunging his chidori through her heart, Obito vowed to do anything for Madara if it could bring him together with Rin and Kakashi again. Now, Madara would explain his Eye of the Moon Plan and imparted all of his knowledge and plans to Obito, taught him abilities he would need moving forward, entrusted him with his possessions and would have you along with Black Zetsu to assist as a guide. Until Madara’s revival, he told Obito that he would act as Madara Uchiha.

- You knew all about the plan moving forward and there wasn’t a single bone of malevolence in your body. Although Obito was technically in leadership of the plan, you walked up to the man while he watched the sunset and made a proposal to him, newly as Madara.

- “How about we go through with the plan in two ways. I would like to go undercover as a Civil Rights activist to create conditions for the healing of the brain as a resolve to world problems and spread more love. To spread a new philosophical idea.” You said. “Look at you, Y/N. Too pure to be tainted by the world’s sickness. You sugarcoat Earth’s harsh realities with the idea that there can be social change. If anything, humans should be wiped off the face of the planet. We take and take from Earth and yet there is not plenty for all because some of us are greedy and seek a profit. God used to be our guide. Now people worship the corruption of money. There is much evilness upon our world. We lust after killing one another. And no one seems to care.” Obito unfolded, his voice almost cracking.

- “Madara has projected his hatred onto you. It is the Curse of Hatred that has imbued your disillusionment.” You softly whispered in his ear. “An Uchiha’s love can instantaneously turn into hatred, leaving them more inclined to do anything and everything in their power to achieve their goals and show their own superiority, regardless of the consequences and repercussions of their actions. I can heal that, I can allege the world in love.” You noticed he became calmer by your words, the pace of his breathing slowed and with the patient intent to listen to you speak.

- You continued, “Love reduces the cortisol, the stress hormone, which alters brain architecture for the better. Of course I agree with you that humans are imperfect, their flaws drilled and fracked into our planet. We aren’t evolved enough to be trusted with love. We’d try to engineer it, alter it, use it, weaponize it. Power addiction is always the wrong route to escape fear. The only way to understand love is to feel it, embody it, embrace it.” Obito stood in silence for a bit, you assuming that he was taking in your words. Then he sighed, “And you have a feeling this could work?” “Well, the question is, how do you know your plan will work? Will everything matter in the end?” He acknowledged your words again, feeling the lightest bit of hope. “Fine.”

- He concluded that you will have to send letters of your progress as evidence that your plan is going through development. Or else, they will result to what was set originally of projecting the Infinite Tsukuyomi on the moon in order to trap the world in a dream, thus saving mankind from destroying itself but robbing free will of the world.

- This lead up to recently, visiting Nikkōgakure to see you. Just like you addressed, you two met at the Sun Perennial Garden; the flower beds of Daylilies, Hollyhocks, Geraniums, Alstroemerias, etc. The huge glass enclosed garden was filled with butterflies and hummingbirds, like an exhibit, with pathways of stepping stones—tiny flowers blooming between the crevices. He felt that warm feeling again, just as he did when he was first getting to know you. He looked at you with your hair braided into dookie braids (or known as jumbo box braids) that lengthened down your back. You dressed in a patterned halter top with a matching wrap skirt and strapped heels, expressing your body to the homely temperature. He thought you looked more prettier than ever, not because of your open honey brown skin, but because of the peace illustrated on your face. It made him realize maybe the death of Rin could’ve meant something. Not that it was good.

- But was it for the sake of moving on? Meaning so he could make room for another? Or so he could realize the inevitability of death opens the door to pure potential that can make you a better, more open and loving person? All he knew was that it all had to wind down with him meeting you and slowly falling in love like you were saying. I can allege the world in love.

Sorry to keep everyone waiting! I hope you all are having a great day and enjoyed reading!🤎🍫

[teawiththegods]

I know you usually answer witchy/pagan/Hellenic asks but I need a parental/safe space guardian figure right now and I didn’t know where else to go besides you if that’s okay,,,,

I identify as bisexual but I’ve never really had relationships before (of any kind). I am female too, so while I do acknowledge and accept myself as being romantically into other women, now that I’m talking to another woman who is also showing some romantic interest back, I feel… dirty? My parents don’t know my sexuality. My sister does. But there’s also a fear in me that I’ll be outcasted if I do start dating a woman (but my parents for the most part seem accepting of the lgbt+ community). And I just don’t really know where to go with these emotions? Or what I can do to not feel those negative emotions towards myself and my sexuality? Because I’m genuinely interested in her but a part of me feels like I shouldn’t be and this is bad/I’m lying to myself… sorry if this is also too heavy of an ask out of nowhere at that,,

Hello, love! And Happy Pride!

The good news and the bad news is that what you're experiencing is actually very common for us Rainbow Darlings. Growing up in an Anti-LGBTQ+ society (even if those around you are supportive) unfortunately can have that effect on you. I went through something similar in my early years actually. I refused to see myself as anything other than straight despite being in a relationship with girl and having a very apparent history of being attracted to women. But for some reason I didn't want to wear my rainbow proudly. Well not really "some reason", I know the reasons and it does link back to how society pushes heteronormativity as well as my lack of knowledge around what being LGBTQ+ meant and looked like.

The world unfortunately is not built for us so its very rare to find a fellow Rainbow Darling who hasnt struggled to get to the self realization and self acceptance stage they are currently in. To be honest I think its an endless journey for us but not as treacherous as you get further down the road.

Anyway, with that said there is no quick fix to what you're experiencing. Its gonna be a process, an Odyssey if you will indulge me the reference. But as I said you're not alone on this voyage. Many are also traveling that road just as you are or they have already climbed that mountain and you are walking in their footsteps.

My advice is to try and dissect these emotions. WHY do you feel this way? Where is it coming from? Why is it wrong to like this woman? Be like Socrates and keep asking yourself the "Whys" until you get to the root of the feelings/thoughts.

Why I suggest this is because I personally believe the best way to begin combating certain beliefs/feelings/thoughts is to understand their origin. Its like when you play Pokemon and its easier to win the battles when you know what each type is weak against. Knowledge is power, my friend! So gaining knowledge about these thoughts will help you figure out which methods to us to move past them (Or you know which Pokemon from your party to send out!)

I also recommend looking more into the bi experience if you havent already. Like i said part of my refusal to accept my Rainbow membership was that I didn't have enough knowledge (again we go back to knowledge is power. Apollo, you bi babe, get out of my responses! xD). Maybe seeing other bisexuals doing their thing, living their lives, thriving, loving, being celebrated, and being the baddies they are (well we are bc as a Pan-cake I am under that beautiful bi umbrella!) will help ease any of those thoughts you have. It will also give you the opportunity to see if any of them have dealt with similar struggles as you and how they were able to heal.

And kind of piggybacking off of that idea, finding community within this big beautiful Rainbow is pretty essential imo. I really wasn't able to embrace my overall queerness until I found my community both here with my Pagan family as well as in my away from keyboard life. Seeing others live authentically and happily, sharing their stories, and learning about how free and fluid our Rainbow truly is allowed me to understand and accept myself better. I'd never be able to say "I'm Non-Binary and my pronouns are she/he" if it wasn't for this amazing community!

Anyway, I do hope you find some wise wisdom within my chaotic ramblings! <3