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#but the way some ppl talk n post about it it sounds like they genuinely think that killing is the answer and. Hm. Well. Call me.
apopcornkernel · 5 months
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"jason was right to kill blah blah blah it was a good thing that he murdered blah blah blah" ok quick question. whats ur stance on the death penalty.
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just-a-sleepy-idiot · 2 years
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Spn Gabriel Headcanons: Being your Archangel
Written for @thewitcheress2389​ for giving me the coolest Birthday gift!! (on a different post now cause on mobile ppl couldn’t even see the title before because of ask post ratio)
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He thought he was duty free ever since he fled heaven but oh no sir, thats about to change when he meets you
You’re the youngest sister of Dean and Sam and when he first heard of your existence he was both intrigued and cautious, cause on one hand that means another Winchester to play with and on the other that could be an indication of even more destiny crap
What he didn’t expect was that said Destiny was tied to him cause when he laid eyes on you he felt that strange heavy feeling in his chest that remind him of the divine forces up when he was in heaven
He tries to stay far far away from you at first, but that seems to make it worse, up to a moment were he felt terribly alerted and appeared just in time to save your life. Thats when he knows- he’s your Guardian Angel
He hates it. Why the fuck does it have to be him huh? And a Winchester too? He is about to send some hate mail via prayer to God when you timidly thank him, still unsure who or what he is since your brothers refrained from talking to him
He pauses and presses his lips together, but eventually that signature smirk is there again and he fully turns towards you „I don’t think we‘ve been introduced yet, might be cause your brothers have an extensive history of being party poopers.“ You laugh in surprise and take his hand to shake
Your brothers are  r a g i n g  when he tries to explain the situation to him cause he gotta, now that he’s gonna be with you for a while but your defense of him snaps them out of it and rather causes confusion- why do you trust this guy? You can’t explain it in a way that differs from the bond he described
He signs off and expects to appear when needed, what he didn’t expect was for you to call him down to.. chat
Gabriel will make innuendos and cheeky remarks just cause he doesn’t know how to handle this.. genuine way of affection
You will ask him about himself, not about all the heaven stuff but actually about him as a person, not as a soldier from god. He will quietly smirk and eye you for a moment before answering honestly
You‘ll take note of his love for sweets and call him down surprisingly to share them with him
„Gabriel“ „..Yes? Y/n?“ He‘ll rise his brows in amusement and you sternly present him a cookie, „This is delicious. Absolutely fantastic. Here.“ You offer him half of it and make space on the couch for him
He‘ll laugh and sit next to you to eat it, both of you making faces and sounds because of how delicious it is. He shakes his head as he glances over to you for a moment. You just thought of him because of a cookie? You’re a curious one. He likes that
You‘ll end up having inside jokes and develop a secret handshake just to annoy your brothers. He never thought that a Winchester could be fun like this
He gets very, very mad whenever something happens to you but honestly he‘ll be more angry at himself for not being there soon enough. Gabriel will easily snap at anyone in this state, not leaving your side until you’re fully ok again even if it’s just a broken leg in the end. Then he‘ll sit opposite you and put your leg on his lap
He doesn’t even notice how he develops a habit of playing with your hair, leaning his legs into yours when you’re sitting next to each other and how he‘ll pick you up to spin you around or just throw you over his shoulder randomly when he’s in a goofy mood
He‘ll give you nicknames to annoy you but when he ends up using them they always kinda sound cute. You give him joking nicknames too to see his reaction, like Agent G or Senior Snickers but he‘ll start referring to himself that too at some point
Some nights you can’t fall asleep because of the things you‘ve seen as a hunter. In those nights he will show you his favorite crappy Cartoons and joke so much until you wake up your brothers with laughter
On some days, especially when he’s seen one of his brothers, he‘ll just appear and want to sot next to you. He will try to appear normal but you know immediately if somethings off so you tell the guys to go hunting without you this time and stay back to spend time with him
ALSO he will listen in if you sing in the shower and be cheeky about it later but his mockery somehow turns into a Karaoke contest when you bet who sings better. Castiel will sing too but he will rather just.. read the text rather than sing and you‘ll two be his background singers
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Please comment you guys, I get my motivation to write from your feedback!!
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liverpool-enjoyer · 1 month
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hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.
also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.
mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).
its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.
it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.
i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue
oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.
so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.
so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.
tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO
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desire-mona · 4 months
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dead poets society chars but i assign them random things ive seen happen on the internet / random videos or posts i remember (not based on anything it is genuinely at random):
neil - tony crynight's fnaf animation series which i dont entirely remember the plot of but i'll try to describe. so basically its fake mangle lore to say that mangle is the way they are (all broken and shit) because Mangle kissed Foxy and Chica got jealous so she took a Machete to Mangle to Mangled them. and then the gang tries to save mangle or whatever
todd - fluffle puff, someones pink fluffy mlp oc who was in lesbians with chrysalis (i think thats her name, i never watched mlp). mosy notably known for the animation to pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows. also the creator is a pedophile i think
charlie - sorrow tv and his entire existence. sorrow tv was a youtuber who made videos reading out reddit videos in silly voices. there was a whole posse of youtubers who did this, and he was the most popular just bc his voice acting was rly good. i still watch him every couple months even tho he hasnt posted since 2021.
cameron - does bruno mars is gay? i think about cameron man door hand hook car door every day, so i obviously need to point to my third favourite silly trying to be serious sentence. most ppl know this from game grumps but im not linking a game grumps video on here. rumour come out!
knox - venturiantale, the youtube channel usually consisting of 4? siblings playing gmod together usually. the channel itself was ran by this guy named jordan i think? and his siblings has their own channels. i knew them best for their fnaf gmod videos and their fanmail videos. turns out they were all very christian? and the whole family was abusive and way deep into said christianity if i remember correctly, one of the siblings who left first made a video on it. the venturiantale channel hasnt posted in like 2 yrs and the slow death was kinda sad to see bc he (jordan) blamed it all on The Algorithm.
meeks - that one nagito komaeda kinnie back in Whenever it was cutting off their finger to. i guess prove that they were a nagito kinnie frfr? if u dont know danganronpa lore then nagito gets his hand cut off and replaced with junko enoshima's hand because sheeeee got... executed? i wont lie i dont remember this part of the games story sorry. but essentially that one person was like I Gotta Do That........ anyway im jk the audio was faked and nothing actually happened + the person is fine LAWL
pitts - the key of awesome's parody of tiktok by kesha called glitter puke. theres no lore to this the key of awesome is / was ? a silly little song parody channel. this video was made in 2010 and it kinda shows in some moments but other than that it holds up. just checked and the key of awesome is Not still going, it ended 6 years ago and the last video was actually rly good and genuine
keating - onma island is buried a treasure chest. ok so basically mr beast made a video talking abt a private island and he buried. a treasure chest for a viewer to find. during the video he said "on my island is buried a treasure chest" but it sounded like "onma" which this one youtuber (pinely) found rly funny. it became an inside joke with his friends (one of whom got a tattoo) which then became a lowkey meme. mr beast even tweeted it so. good lord thats a lot of links sorry there isnt a know your meme page or anything
chris - i dont have any links for this one sorry, im just gonna tell the story and u have to believe me when i say i swear it happened (its very a believable fandom story im sure you will). so back when the genshin impact was still in its fairly early days (late 2020-early 2021) the phrase "hear me out" to refer to characters n stuff started becoming popular I THINK at the same time. so people in the genshin fandom were like hear me out with increasingly more heinous shit. started with characters, then npcs, then enemies, then bosses, then weapons, the stamina bar at one point, etc. a lot of these were jokes or straight up bait but back then (maybe now too - i havent been part of the genshin fandom for a LONG time) people took bait far more often than they didnt. so it became a "genshin fandom bad" gotcha to point out That One stamina bar post.
ginny - $300 junko enoshima wig! sorry for double dipping with danganronpa it was just the first fandom i actually started like. on purpose noting fandom happenings with + a lot of shit happens in that fandom. this one cosplayer who at the time was called snowthesaltqueen / badguyincorporated started selling pre-made (and styled) junko enoshima cosplay wigs for $300. which WOULD be fair (i think? idk how cosplay commissions work) if said wig was styled well or quality at all, but what was ACTUALLY provided was a rly basic wig base and few clips with no note or no nothing, and rly flat. like on purpose. like that was "the styling". also you may recognise this cosplayer for 1) getting in trouble when they did a cosplay photoshoot (danganronpa cosplay funnily enough) in a graveyard, posing ON a gravestone. 2) KILLING SOMEONE. they were screwing around with a firearm and fake pointing it at someone and then they accidentally shot them.
i could do this forever like actually. i have SO many internet stories in my brain its actually bad.
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narwhalandchill · 4 months
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oh and also speaking of wuwa. what is it with chinese gachas these days and their one (1) random fucking Dude With A Finnish Name For No Apparent Reason
like theres welt from hi3rd and hsr. aka originally known as joachim nokianvirtanen. whos presumably half german half finnish. but the worst fucking thing about it is that like. while joachim is a very standard german name. ""nokianvirtanen" is NOT a finnish surname. its like an amateur writer looking up random finnish words to mush together into a surname with 0 research into what finnish surnames actually sound like. now by themselves. nokia? virtanen? oh absolutely that works 100%. together? it literally sounds AI generated it makes me cry 💀💀💀
(It could also just literally be nokia-virtanen or virtanen-nokia with the hyphen and work. but nokiaN is possessive form . but NOBODY is fucking called "nokia's virtanen" WHAT. THATS NOT HOW IT WORKSSSSS or like if theres Any legit surname w a possessive form in it which there prolly are some its a Very specific thing not sth broadly applicable at all)
whereas sampo koski is like. honestly peak bc its the complete fucking opposite. this name is like. this is literally Just A Dude. Theres probably like hundreds of actual fucking sampo koskis out there whose linked ins have been permanently buried under Rail the Stars game search results on google i literallg NEED to meet one irl someday and ask them about it its so fucking funny 😭😭😭
like. okay koski is just an uhhhhhhhh. its a type of a waterfall in a river . Rapids? but yeah its a very standard surname. Except not like this SUPER common generic googled the top 10 tier name bc its genuinely an authentic name you run into that sounds natural. Like it doesnt sound like A Character surname its too normal. and then sampo refers to a mythical miracle machine in karelian and finnish folklore with 3 corners that each makes riches of the ocean (represented w salt) the soil (w grain) and the earth (w gold) freely for whoever owns it. In lore some ppl fight over it long story anyway louhi was right. which is again its not some uber common name but its a Very natural one its so weirdddd ive had a sampo for a classmate its cursed 💀💀 and have prolly known a koski at some point too
Anyway point being. Sampo koski is literally the Quintessential normie This is a person not a Space Gacha Game Character name idk HOW they just. came up w it it feels so weirdddd. this is like if boothill was just called like. Josh.
anyway my only real issue w sampo is just that he doesnt fucking act finnish. yes its true reducing nationalities to caricatures is bad but. Listen if you rep us. it HAS to be all the stereotypes actually. we arent all antisocial and depressed for half the year bc its too dark and insomniac and pissed off the other half bc its too bright just to get some fruity fucking aha follower with a name youd see on the employee list of the most mundane fucking office job . i like sampo i just cant claim him . he talks too much and dresses too flamboyant hes an impostor
which brings us to. Wuthering waves. and like as we can see hoyos finnish names have had their interesting moments for sure. so like hows kuro games faring?
Oh they called him--
They Called The Random Finnish Name Guy Of The Wuthering Da Waves Game---
AALTO?????????!??!??? AALTO?????!?
THEY LITERALLY CALLED HIM WAVE IN FINNISH WHAT THE FUCKKKKJKK
honestly idek if i should be insulted or just like. Amazed by the sheer balls it takes to just call him half the title of ur game and be like ah. Perfect. represented the feeble finns again
anyway tho unironically. While he also (to my knowledge at least) has the like. cocky lighthearted menace personality which like. No. at least the way he looks is peak acceptable like yeah this is a random finnish guy animefied and airdropped into this post apocalyptic scifi fantasy world. the quintessentially finnish awful out of fashion speedy sunglasses (this is a cultural in joke that i will Not be elaborating on). the sensible tactical gear. i respect him the white long hair is clearly a survival tactic its camouflage. hes fine. also props for having an aspect of camouflage in his kit w the taunts bc yes historical reference winter war the finns are indeed out there blending in with the environment wahoo. no particular thoughts tho i did pull him so ig legal obligation to build his ass
anyway aalto is also an university. lowkey the students there should just do a power move and make an aalto cosplay like the secondary uniform alongside haalarit itd be funny
but yeah am i going anywhere with this? Making some serious critique god forbid? Not in particular i am just. Continuously baffled w this. bc its not like these characters Are finnish by any metric. They just get random fucking finnish names and its like every single chinese gacha now needs to have a token one and im just here like.but why . What is the purpose of it . what is so effervescent about googling random finnish names and slapping them on your male characters . I do not understand
+ honorary mention to ukko the frostarm lavachurl in genshin. Another folkloric reference (ukko the sky/thunder god) . couldnt even give us a fruity guy in that one. though sitting in your bespoke isolation in a freezing hellhole and beating the shit out a random traveler disrupting your peace is way more finnish than a single sentence most of these characters have uttered so like. Fair actually that Is a mood. king behavior
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creepiefarm · 2 years
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With some music based subcultures like scene and emo, what do you consider to be some core features or values of both? Also, would you happen to know of any accurate resources online to learn more about them?
with emo values and features, i had my good friend @iront33th help me phrase this bc they're way better at putting emo To Words:
"honestly unapologetically emotional, it was always about being open when stuff like mental illness, self harm and absent parents was considered taboo. and it talked about things no one wanted to talk about at the time.
obviously sonically there's a certain sound, like not just any song about anxiety or depression could be considered emo. otherwise ppl like logic could be emo LMAO bc musically it stemmed from post hardcore, so that combo of heavy instrumentals with emotionally heavy lyrics i think rly encapsulate what emo was truly all about.
i think in part the newfound openness about this stuff also made people unapologetic in their appearance as well, there was the basics set by the goth and punk and metal movements so ppl found their personal ways of being "different". and obviously when the big bands in the scene had dyed fringe and studded belts and those rubber hot topic bracelets it carried over to their audiences."
for me as well emo is about being unapologetically emotional, and talking about things no one wants to talk about or acknowledge. emo art and poetry play a big role in it too, as much as the fashion does. (emo is always about the music Most and First, fashion n culture was secondary) probably when you read this you're gonna say "but ppl talk about parental issues all the time?" but we didn't in the early 2000s! and that leads into my next point, i mean this very genuinely and not in a gate-keepy way,
you had to be there. there are posts or videos that do a decent job showcasing or talking about aspects of emo culture, and i do believe it still Exists, i mean i'm emo and i know other emo ppl. but it's changed so much and the, Feeling and Experience just doesn't exist the same as it did back then. i was very young then, but my older brother practically Lived in hot topic so i was exposed to a lot of it, even if i couldn't participate in the culture until i was older. (the change is not all for the worse tho, old emo culture had a lot of issues w fatphobia, lgbtphobia, it could be very exclusionary to poc, etc.)
scene does not, in my opinion, have a core value or message. scene was a subculture of emo, it came from crunk and rave culture. it was mostly about the fashion, looking good and having fun would be the only core meanings. don't get me wrong, i Love scene fashion! but it's like...emo for people who weren't as depressed ig lol? it's hard to even pin down scene music in the way u can with emo.
resources like...look up old hair tutorials or lyric videos. listen to the music that was popular then, there's plenty of accounts dedicated to old pics too. but emo is smth that varied a Lot by region and person and year. it's kinda too broad to say "oh just go read X" or whatever
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pettydreamz · 1 month
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i am grateful she called me out. i can admit i was slightly flustered n embarrassed that she finally perceived me, but honestly it's been about time.
i know i would voice my frustration on the blog bc well, this is a VENT BLOG. especially my insecurities, or even my spiralling mental breakdowns.. he..he..he ^^;;. but everyone should know i was going to voice them to her one way or another. everyone knows about pacing, timing, when people are ready for it. but yall forced it to happen, ig thats ok. who knows maybe i would've waited forever. but i dont think so. but whatevs ig.
this is my vent blog, like how many ppl have as well. this is i mean well TUMBLR lol. like how i respect everyone elses blog even all of hers.
i know i am insecure but who isnt. it's clearly v obvious i am. but it's never her fault, i do feel bad i cant get over it and that she can be a triggering factor to it. but it's never like i hate you type of shit. i just hate the person i can be, thats not her fault.
i am allowed to have these feelings, it's never having malice-intent (although ik it can come off as extreme hater-ade). i vent. the spur of the moment. i put all my feelings that i feel at the time. i calm down, and assess. thats why i let all my dramatics out so i can be the understanding side come out with her. bc she doesnt need that insecure side of me that im working on. she doesnt need that burdensome energy. thats why unfortunately i release that fucked up side of me on this blog. so i can try be the true friend and person i need to be for her. maybe sounds like a shit excuse but hey, thats what i think n feel. how other ppl are allowed to as well. just sorry mine can come off as fucked up n shady. but i've never tried to hide my bitchiness, ppl know i am. but to the sweet ppl they dont deserve that side of me, only if im done wrong than maybeeeee.
pls have a good day lol, it's ok if yall cant understand me. it's not your job to understand the stupid shit i say bc a lot of the time, same lol. this blog represents the nitty gritty dark thoughts of my mind, so ytf would wanna try understand it ;3 you're not my therapist, tho i should get one. but if yall read enough of shit yall should know why i havent been interested for it as of rn. i have other priorities. and im just not ready for that type of help yet, sorry.
im genuinely concerned about the ppl that follow me. you ok..? also any of you guys uncomfortable with this blog pls, from the bottom of my heart… fuck off. like no ill-intent with that but i do talk about concerning n sensitive topics. and i am again sorry to my bsf, i truly am. but yeah to some followers, you need to unfollow if my blog is not for you. and if you wanna stick it out, dont say i didn't warn you this time. but yeah hey welcome to the chaos of my mind. i didn't think i needed to say some of this shit but ig yeah i didn't need to post this at all… but this my blog n im delusional ;3;
sorry
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thewickerking · 2 years
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OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)
#updates on my last posts tags: i dont like actually see spiders i just see movement out of the corner of my eye that isnt there and then my#brain always categorizes it as spiders and its nearly never spiders but it makes me rlly on edge and scared 4 no reason#itll just like be a little black blur out of focus (when theres genuinely nothing there other than like. my white sink or bathtub) and my#brain is like 'ah oh no spider' and my pulse quickens and i get scared and think its gonna kill me cause im sooo normal btw#i joke abt being scared of spiders n stuff but theres genuinely terrifying to me and have given me super bad panic attacls :#anyways.#erm abt the last thing abt Bad Sounds ik its probably a symptom of something but i havent heard of anything that sounds right except maybe#overstimulation but very rarely feel overstimulated im usually very understimulated and its not that theres too many sounds its just theres#one really bad one that sets me off like weird random things like snoring and certain dripping faucets and breathing and like. certain ways#people brush their hands together when they have something on them but they do it for too long and the sound is horrible but subtle#and also certain times people are tapping against fabric like. stuff that ppl overlook and u can barely hear but it drives me off the walls#like idk what common thread they have other than NORMAL EXISTING HUMAN SOUNDS but like. idk if pain is the right word to describe it but#its genuinely something physically pain adjacent like. tension. like when u pull a rubber band super far apart and it cant fucking#stay like that like cmon it hurts it needs to snap please let it out. but letting it out is like. erm. not good and if the sound doesnt end#after u let it out like it didnt do anything it just goes back. ough idk idk idk. i used to not tell anyone this stuff cause i mostly did l#it at night and i think ppl will say im exaggerating and faking cause they dont witness it and my mother doesnt do it i think so its not an#acceptable form of mental illness /s but like genuinely i dont feel like im allowed to mention it but whatever!!!#anyways this is rlly long if u read it. hi. i love u. i hope u have a good day/#night also hmu if u know what whatever this is called i wanna talk about it in therapy and i think my words dont feel professional enough#ik u shouldnt have to act professional in therapy bur erm. i feel like i need to in some ways its complicated#.ares
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1kook · 4 years
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ZOOM CALL
⇢ meeting two
jeon jungkook x (f) reader
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⇢ series masterlist
summary: Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group. genre: fluff, slice of life, smut (tags tba) warnings: ITS A SLOW BURN OKAY...., sweetheart jk, campus crush jk, college crushes, social distancing, zoom -_-, jk owns a keroppi plush, oc thirsts over his hot bod, jk’s sweet attempts at flirting </3 he’s just 2 cute for his own good ratings: e for everyone <3 wc: 3.7k
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notes: this took long bc i wrote one version but it was SO LAME u guys r lucky my friend and editor ( @kigurumu​ 🖤 ) stopped me from posting it. so then i had to reorganize my thoughts n b like girl. the ppl are waiting. get it together. anyway here’s zoom jk 😎
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Being grouped with Jeon Jungkook (he/him) for your first class on the first day of your first Zoom semester truly sets the standard.
By no means do your other classes suck; they’re quite enjoyable, more relevant to your area of study. They’re familiar which makes them comfortable, your Zoom meetings filled with faces you’ve seen time and time again the last four years. The material interests you, so you definitely don’t have anything against them or your classmates. 
That being said, no one is prepared for the awkwardness that comes with each and every Zoom meeting. You never thought you’d be embarrassed to turn your mic on— to speak in a class filled with your peers. And the meetings are all like that, filled with uncomfortable silences and endless black screens. 
You wish there was a Jeon Jungkook (he/him) in every class. 
Jungkook’s just got this bubbly aura to him, this magnetic presence that staples itself into the back of your mind with each passing day. No one fills a Zoom call like he does, making every person laugh and smile like him. 
Wednesday rolls around and you find yourself a little disheartened when you don’t get sorted into the same randomized group as him again. Disappointment melts into annoyance when you find out how incompetent your other classmates are, refusing to speak in the small group or just completely clocking out all together. A lot of them didn’t do the reading— the one you stayed up all night doing —and your first partnered assignment of the semester finds you doing it all by yourself. Muted mics, black windows, complete radio silence; you hated it all. 
You find yourself weirdly longing for Jeon Jungkook’s presence, even if he’s only there to talk about some movie he saw last night. No one is as much of a chatterbox as him, can’t even hold a candle to the way he draws everyone in with his mindless conversations. At least he speaks during Breakout Rooms, you think bitterly. 
Anyway, the first week of classes ends and your brain is a frenzied mess. There’s schedules to memorize, professors to impress, assignments to plan out. There’s definitely no time to sit around and fantasize about the curly haired cutie in one of your general classes. The weekend is spent trying to organize your planner, filling in due dates and exam days ahead of time. It’s your last semester and you’re dead set on making it your best one yet. There’s a lot of written work this time around, analyses and research papers that need to be organized. The road ahead is manageable, but you’ll have to work hard to keep it that way for the next five months. 
Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group.
Jungkook is early this time, not like on Monday where he’d been one of the last to filter in, and he’s looking as chirpy as ever. Donning this horrendously hot pink shirt, completely unlike the neutral tones he’d worn during your last two meetings and that decorate his room, and the cutest pair of circle glasses sitting on his nose. He says his regularly scheduled ‘good morning’ to you all and receives a collective response from the rest of the class that not even your professor got. 
Speaking of the professor, you’ve been giving him the stink eye this whole time. Not that he can tell, given the fact he’s probably miles away in his own home while you angrily glare at him through your webcam. It’s this old guy who’s decided to sort you all into semester long groups for the class, which is the absolute worst. These types of groups always go the same way: you make a group chat promising to study together, those plans fall through, and then everyone just leeches off of each other for homework answers. And in most cases, it’s you handing over your homework answers because no one else ever bothers to do anything. Sadly, it’s a routine you’ve had to suffer through many times in your academic career. 
The thought makes you sick. Having to spend another semester being labeled as the bossy, nerdy dictator of the group? Not exactly how you wanted to spend the last few months of college, but there’s nothing you can do. Maybe this time around you’ll just let it be, won’t fight it (and by it, you mean your lazy classmates when they inevitably try to guilt trip you for homework) and simply let it run its course. 
“I’m going to put you guys into Breakout Rooms with your new groups!” your professor claps excitedly, and then you and the rest of your classmates are forced to watch him lean too close to the camera as he begins clicking around to find the preset groups he’s assigned the class. “Remember, guys, this is it for the rest of the semester. So if something isn’t right, let me know by the end of today.” 
Man, this was going to suck, you groan. The syllabus had said that the purpose of these groups was to keep you all connected with your classmates during these trying times, to give you the same opportunities in-person learning would. Frankly, you’re not too worried about making friends with everyone in this large class. Most of them are younger than you anyway, save for Jeon Jungkook (he/him) and a handful of others who are apparently in your year. Befriending lowerclassmen only to have to bid them adieu in a few months seems awfully sad, a little too heartbreaking. You really just want to get a good grade in this class, collect the last of your credits, and put this whole college experience behind you. 
Your thoughts are wrapped up by the pop-up message that appears on screen. 
The host is inviting you to join a Breakout Room: Group 12
You sigh, contemplate dropping this class for all of two seconds, before dutifully accepting the request. Worse comes to worst, you make up some lie to tell your professor that you’re allergic to group work and hope it works. (It won’t.) 
You sit through the mandatory loading screen for a few seconds before being abruptly dumped into your new room, Group 12, or so the message had said. There’s no one else here yet, which isn’t really a surprise. A lot of your classmates are probably like you, scowling at the pop up message every time your professor sends you into small groups before accepting the request. So you chill by yourself, eyes tracing over your own mirrored image. The notes on last night’s reading are neatly laid out before you, your copy of the book off to the side. 
Another beat and then, much to your surprise, Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is appearing in your room. “Oh,” he says, round eyes magnified by the thick lens of his glasses, the glare of the computer’s glow casting a funny shape across the lens that momentarily robs you of his pretty eyes. His pretty pink lips stretch into a smile, upper lip thinning out a bit when he flashes you those perfect teeth. “Hi, __,” he greets politely, bubbly. 
It’s embarrassing how much his presence affects you, your back going ramrod straight in a terrible attempt to compose yourself. “Hi, Jungkook,” you manage to get out, fingers nervously reaching for something, anything, to ground yourself. They land on a pencil. 
Jungkook doesn’t seem even the slightest bit aware of the commotion he causes within you. “I was really nervous for these groups,” he begins rambling right away, lips pushing down into an exaggerated frown as he shivers at the memory. “But I’m glad I got placed with someone hardworking like you!”
Despite how sweet he sounds, you’re not entirely sure if he’s buttering you up just to take advantage of your ‘hardworking’ attitude later down the road or if he’s genuinely being polite. The little information you know about Jungkook wants you to believe it is the latter; he’s very kind, sweet and nice in a way that makes everyone he speaks to feel warm. Still, for all you know this could be some elaborate ruse of his to make you trust him now and then convince you to do all the work for the rest of the semester. 
Tentatively, you ask, “and how would you know that?” You try your best to keep your usual snappiness out of your voice, pose it simply out of curiosity. But everything you say or do feels like a stark contrast to Jungkook and his bubbliness. 
His head tilts cutely to the side, imploring brown eyes looking at you for one hard second. And then, “I read your forum analysis from Wednesday,” he admits, breaking into a smile. Shy and tiny, bashfully looking down at his desk. “I thought your perspective on the piece was really interesting,” he says, lips pursing together as if he’s suddenly too embarrassed to admit such things to you. 
Stunned, all you can manage is one slow nod. “Thank you,” you eventually choke out, trying to ward the heat away from your cheeks as Jungkook sheepishly nods back, cute smile still on his face. 
“Oh, please,” he chuckles, raising his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Don’t thank me!” 
It is in this exact moment that you are suddenly made aware of two things. 
One: despite his collection of soft sweaters and t-shirts, his bouncy curls and sweet smile, Jeon Jungkook’s body is neither as cute nor as soft as any of his belongings. In fact, Jeon Jungkook’s body is all hard planes and prominent veins. Arms beefy, biceps that bulge beneath the fabric of the short sleeve t-shirt he’s donned today. His shoulders fill out the material nicely, making him look broad and huge, but that’s not even the worst part, because—
—two: Jeon Jungkook is covered in ink. Dark streaks and swirls paint his forearms, curling around his elbow. Every inch of his pale skin is littered with tiny designs. They dance along the back of his hands, over his knuckles, and end at an unidentifiable point beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. When he tugs at the neckline of his shirt in an effort to readjust it, you hope your eyes are deceiving you and that isn’t a hint of ink by his collarbone. 
Your normal composure seems to slip away at the mere thought. 
It’s Jungkook’s voice that brings you back, a soft timbre that asks, “aren’t we supposed to have someone else in our group?” You flinch as if you’ve been caught ogling him, never mind the fact he’s started mindlessly shuffling some papers around on his desk, not the slightest bit concerned with you. 
“Oh— um, yes. I think,” you stammer, feeling like some creep for ogling your very cute, very sweet classmate. The memory of his inky skin nearly sends a shiver down your spine as you navigate back to the class syllabus. “We’re supposed to have at least three people,” you read off, glancing at the boy on your screen who frowns at the news. 
“Do you think they dropped?” Given it was still only the first week of school, probably. There had been a fewer number of people in the call when it started, you remembered. Jungkook sighs, this rather light sound that ends in a hum. “Well, we can always wait a few minutes just in case.”
So you wait, nervously bouncing your leg up and down. It’s not awkward, or at least, not as awkward as it would be with anyone else. The other week you had silently sat with another classmate in a one-on-one discussion and hadn’t uttered a word for five minutes. It wasn’t because you didn’t care about the class, but because said classmate had been tapping away on their phone the entire time and hadn’t even responded to your simple greeting. That was awkward. 
With Jungkook it’s more weird than awkward. You can tell the silence makes him uncomfortable because he keeps doing these tiny inhales like he’s about to speak, followed by a little head shake where he seemingly stops himself from saying anything at all. He wants to talk, very badly it seems, but holds back for some odd reason. 
He’s scribbling on some sheet of paper, leaning forward to give you a view of the top of his head. From this angle, his shirt hangs forward and a silver necklace falls out from beneath the neckline, thuds against the table. And then your suspicions are nearly confirmed, and oh god, is that a chest piece—
You quickly look away. 
Robbed of his handsome face and feeling like you’ll die if you look at his body any longer, you settle for your newly acquired favorite pastime: inspecting your classmates’ rooms over Zoom. Yes, you’ll admit it is incredibly nosy, but what else can you do? You can only look at your professor for so long until you inevitably grow bored, attention drifting off to your classmates tiny windows. And with no professor in sight, just gorgeous Jeon Jungkook, you quickly begin your examination of his bedroom. 
Jungkook’s room is pretty much the same as you remember it, rather neat and plain. There’s not a lot going on in terms of decoration, which is a little surprising to say the least. Over the course of the week, you’ve watched your classmates’ dormitories and bedrooms gradually change, decorations and tapestries decorating the walls, mountains of pillows added to their beds. It’s only natural that everyone has an innate need to show off who they are now more than ever, and you thought Jungkook would be the same. 
Apparently not. 
Aside from the guitar you had spotted on Monday, his little dorm room remains unchanged. Blank walls, grayscale sheets. The same perfectly fluffed pillows and then—
A tiny Keroppi plush smack dab in the middle of his bed. 
It’s adorable but a little out of place amongst Jungkook’s rather masculine decorations (or lack thereof). A tiny green doll sitting by his pillows, cute striped shirt and ridiculously dopey smile. 
Leaning forward, you unmute yourself and conversationally say, “I love your Keroppi.” 
At the sudden sound of your voice, Jungkook abruptly straightens up, glasses practically at the very tip of his nose. Eyes wide, it takes him a second to process your words before jerkily whipping around to stare at the aforementioned item. “Oh,” he jumps, slowly looking at his screen again, lips pulled into a tight line. “Um… it’s not mi—“
“It’s adorable,” you add, propping your chin in your palm, absolutely endeared with the rosy color that paints his cheeks, fades down the column of his neck. 
He squirms, hurriedly pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He looks like he’ll deny it again, nervously nibbling at his lower lip, before eventually he settles with a sigh. “I won it from a crane machine,” he confesses with a sheepish huff of laughter, rolling backwards to the edge of his bed to snatch it from its spot. 
(Of course he manspreads as he sits, dark jeans hugging his thighs as he rolls back your way. His arm looks so strong, covered in all that ink, you nearly drool.)
“It’s cute, isn’t it?” he says, abandoning his embarrassment as he shakes the little figure around, makes it look like it’s dancing for you. “My mom said it looks like me.”
At that, you laugh. Loud and boisterous because you were definitely not expecting Jungkook to say that, such an odd but weirdly fitting comparison that has you looking at the doll in his hands with renewed interest. And through the pixelated screen, you can see the similarities: Jungkook does have the same smile as Keroppi. 
“Your mom was right,” you agree, wiping a faux tear from the corner of your eye. “Very cute.” 
Jungkook’s got this big goofy smile on, shaking his head in disbelief that you would ever dare agree with his mom. Like he’s genuinely enjoying himself, you think, oddly proud to have evoked that reaction from him. Granted, Jungkook always looks like he’s pretty happy during class, but it feels nice knowing that you were (confirmed) the reason why.  
A little caught up with the bumbling feeling in your chest, you’re not expecting his next words. “Does that mean I’m cute?” he asks, still with that same dopey smile on his face. 
It’s a bold statement you wouldn’t have expected from him, someone who seems content being the world’s friend, but apparently Jeon Jungkook also craves compliments. 
Slowly, you nod. “...yes,” you say, trying to keep the tumultuous emotions inside of you at bay while you grant him this one compliment. Outwardly, you give him what you hope is an obviously feigned look of disbelief, managing to lace it with a little amusement as you shake your head at his inquiry. On the inside, your mind and heart are a thundering racetrack, the roar of the engines and the screams of the crowd enough to momentarily make you lose your senses. “Very cute,” you repeat, hoping he can’t hear the same pounding of your heartbeat in your throat and in your ears as you do. “Like a little frog.” 
Jungkook graces your robotic response with the most boyish laugh, head tossed back as one loud cackle (because, really, there is no other way to describe the sound that tears itself from his throat) escapes him, curls bouncing back from the movement. “Cute like a frog,” he wheezes, seemingly to himself as he shakes his head with a grin, scooting closer to the camera again. “That’s a new one.” 
“You set yourself up for it,” you defend, busying yourself with the papers spread out in front of you before Jungkook can distract you any further. “Anyway!” you announce, neatly lining the papers up. “Our group.”
Jungkook does his best to wipe the glee off his face, but even as he reaches around for his things, it’s still there. “Right,” he agrees, “we have to, um—“ a huff of laughter “—group contract! Or, well, partner project.”
Briefly, you consider calling in your professor to inform him of your missing partner. He had said to let him know by the end of today if something was wrong. But, honestly, you didn’t see a problem with your group the way it was now. While you can only hope he’ll turn out to be as dedicated to his work as you, as it stands now, there weren’t any major red flags surrounding Jungkook’s character. 
Besides, you didn’t mind being with him for the rest of the semester. 
You nod, forcing yourself to ignore the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at you through the screen. “I think it’s safe to say it’ll just be the two of us, which I don’t mind,” you say, glancing at the time on the corner of your screen to see five minutes have passed since you agreed to wait. “Do you?”
On screen, Jungkook profusely shakes his head, curls bouncing all over the place. “Nope,” he hums. “I don’t mind at all,” he reassures you, resting his chin in his palm as he regards you, and then sweetly adds, “it’ll be nice with just us, __.”
Right. 
You gulp, heart fluttering at the dreaminess he exudes through your screen, the soft strand of hair that falls over his forehead, tickles his brow bone when he flashes you another smile.  He was so handsome. Before you say anything silly, you quickly attempt to move on. “But it does make us more of a duo than a group.” 
Jungkook looks away from his screen for the first time in what feels like forever and you finally let your heart rest for a second. “A duo,” he murmurs, shuffling through his papers. “Like Mickey and Minnie?” 
You nearly choke on your spit, coughing to hide the surprise from his rather cute suggestion. He’s not even looking at you, doesn’t even realize the absolute shock he’s thrown you in by comparing the two of you to one of the most famous couples— that’s what they are, a goddamn couple, not a duo! the words mean two completely different things! —in the world. Instead, Jungkook is humming the theme song to Drake & Josh. 
This man was dangerous for your heart. 
After having felt all the emotions in the world in the span of ten seconds, you eventually gather the courage to say, “sure,” and quickly try to move the conversation along. “We just need to, um, make some ground rules and responsibilities for us to follow.” 
Jungkook nods, finally glancing up again, but not at you. He’s glaring at some point behind his computer, brows furrowed together as he begins brainstorming on his own. You try to, really, but his lips pout adorably when he’s deep in thought, and they’re just so pink and look so soft and would feel like—
“Well, we should probably exchange numbers first,” Jungkook says, interrupting your spiraling thoughts with a new topic to spiral over. He tilts his head to the side, brown eyes focused on you. 
“Yes, of course,” you stammer, fumbling for your phone as Jungkook lets out a soft yay at your acceptance of his request. Quickly, he recites his number and you type it in with trembling hands into the number pad, giving him a quick call so he can have your number as well. 
You save him right away, just his name followed by the class you share with him. Not like you know any other Jeon Jungkooks, and if you did, you doubt anyone could ever leave such an impact like this Jeon Jungkook. 
“__, look,” Jungkook calls, that same excitement lacing his already lovely voice, and you raise your head up at the screen again. He’s waving his phone over his camera, so you don’t get to see his face when he says, “It’s a little mouse emoji and a pink bow— just like Minnie!”
Dangerous for your heart and, most likely, the death of you this semester.
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Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.
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shoezuki · 3 years
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Techno used autoclicker? Huh! Where did that get found? Did he like say it or did someone figure it out or...? /gen the only time I've ever seen him use an autoclicker was that one "proof i don't use autoclicker" lol I'm curious tho
SO time for lore.
The biggest source of infirmation i can easily find on it is this post on the hypixel forums talking about technoblade admitting to cheating. Its initially someone saying that ya he fucked up but respected him for specifically coming out being like 'hey i cheated' and taking the heat. Which ended up in a LOT of replies saying he needs to be banned and that he got 'yt privileges' n shit
But what i can gleam from it information wise: technoblade was using an autoclicker back in 2015 under his reasoning that he didn't want to develop arthritis. (Sounds like a shit excuse imo but. Like. Ya technoblade would genuinely do that shit lmao) Either he was going to be 'exposed' for cheating or ppl started noticing in some way, so he publically admitted to using autoclicker.
I dont know conventional hypixel protocols to autoclicking or any cheating so idk if he SHOUDLVE gotten banned. But what DID happen was his stats in hypixel were Entirely wiped. Mans started from scratch.
Its not a big deal i dont feel in any way. He was 20k then and ya ppl got pressed but he jus took the L and moved the fuck on. Love that
A tangent that is entirely speculative: so when this forum post was made was actually AFTER the 'proof i dont autoclick' video was made. Im not sure exactly when techno admitted to cheating, but this post was over a year after that video. So he admitted to cheating after that video is my assumption. (Based off how its spoken bout in the forum im assuming this post wasnt made long after)
SO. thatd mean that eithet technoblade had ACTUALLY been using autoclicker when he made that 'proof i dont autoclick' video. OR he made it BEFORE using autoclicker cuz he was like 'wait so if ppl think i am autoclicking NOW i could get away with actually cheating?'
And both of those. Are absolute Big Dick Energy
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scamoosh · 3 years
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oh PLEASE tell me about the persona 5 megamind au
everyone who sends me asks abt the nonsense i post abt ....... i have feelings 4 u
OKAY SO its a bit unorganized bc i never rlly sat down and worked out the details, its mostly just 4 fun bc i like the movie and i thought itd b funny LOL
-obviously goro akechi is megamind.,,, tho instead of being blue he is just goro akechi (maybe w loki's horns or smth to make him look more alien) and when hes disguised as 'bernard' he just looks like his disguise from the jazz club where u ruffle up his hair n put glasses on him LOL. also he still uses the name bernard bc i think thats funny
-akira is roxanne :3c ambitious reporter who v much enjoys the banter between them every time he gets kidnapped hehe and is sooo enamored w bernard bc hes the only other person who seems so invested in the cruel detective prince despite his Villainous Tendencies
-ryuji is hal (ryuji baby im so sorry) but not in like a 'nice guy' kinda way just in that hes the lazy bro whos always hangin around akira.,, but i love ryuji so rather than going mad w power after getting rejected like some kind of dweeb its more of a persona 4 situation where his concern for akiras safety and his jealousy of he and goros (or bernards as far he knows) relationship - it all combines and his shadow self takes over, so instead of being consciously a douche he is just consumed by forces beyond his control 😔😔 and obv snaps out of it after they beat his ass LOL
-souji is metro man lmaoo i think it fits that hed b like a role model n an inspiration to the p5 characters but also opt out of the fighting b4 it can consume him and become his entire life bc soujis character already struggles w feeling like hes living his entire life for other ppl and not for himself :/
-im not entirely sure abt minion.,, i feel like sumire fits better but i didnt play royal n havent watched the entire playthrough so idk her that well ..,, so in my heart minion is ann <33 i rlly like the hc that goro and ann are friends Anyway n i feel like the petty catty megamind/minion dynamic suits them well hehehe
so basically the gist of it is that akira is repeatedly kidnapped by Villainous Detective Prince Goro Akechi and rescued every time by local hunk and hero souji seta, who fakes his own death to get out of the public eye. in the aftermath of that akechi takes over the city but quickly grows bored w the lack of challenge.,, he and his assistant ann decide that ryuji (while kind of boneheaded) has potential to b strong and should b crafted into his New Rival !! but that backfires, as trying to motivate him through the promise of earning akiras interest only drives his jealousy to the point of being all consuming (this is when his shadow self takes the reigns).
akechi accidentally bumps into akira just like in the movie where he panics and disguises himself ( tho i think rather than freezedrying some poor dude its a magic thing idk bc i think its funny if that why his disguise sucks so hard its just bc he was flustered and in a hurry not to b caught so all he could manage was no horns messier hair big glasses) and akira talks 2 him abt how awful it is that soujis gone and that he never even Disliked akechi in fact hed grown rather fond of him after all their flirty rapport and bernard (akechi) has 2 b like mmhmm yeah that guy sucks. and hes caught between sounding indignant bc his pride is wounded and sounding all too genuine in talking abt how much he hates goro akechi LOL😖
ummm they get closer over time trying 2 pinpoint where akechis Evil Lair might be and then they 100% still have that sad restaurant scene where akechis disguise gets all fucked up (i like to think its bc he got so flustered by being kissed that his brain short circuited and the spell dropped for a sec) and akira does the whole 'wtf why did you lie to me why did u string me along was this all to humiliate me?? or worse was this all genuine to you? did u ever think i could love someone like you??' and walks home in the rain especially sad bc hed confessed that hed had feelings for akechi prior to soujis death so now it just feels like its being thrown back in his face Twice smh
akira still gets snatched up by shadow ryuji and cant do anything abt it but not bc its helpless its bc he doesnt wanna hurt his best friend ): he knows thats not him!!! but tldr goro shows up and ryuji gets bonked around bc akira comes 2 goros aid just 2 subdue him not 2 actually injure him! and then he comes back 2 himself and is so sorry and its ok they r besties again :) and goro and akira kiss on the mouth maybe
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realcube · 4 years
Text
soft haikyuu!! boys with a baddie* s/o  😈
characters:  yamaguchi, hinata, suga, akaashi, nishinoya & tendou
tw// swearing
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*(a/n): anon requested a kinda sassy, sarcastic reader and verbatim ‘she is basically a salt bag, but she also has like some sugar’  so i simplified that down to baddie :) so the reader isn’t really a delinquent but they are a bit rough around the edges uffabvrslbv 
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Tadashi Yamaguchi
he definitely thinks you’re really cool and he wants to be just like you :O
bc you give off ‘bad bitch who doesn’t care about what other ppl think about them’ energy and what he would give tO HAVE THAT!!
so that’s when he knew he needed to be your friend >:) 
so he was like ‘tsukki, go talk to (y/n) for me >:)’ thinking that was his first step to becoming confident pfft
luckily, god was on his side though bc the teacher rearranged the seats and you and him were sitting next to each other 
hence, he got the opportunity to talk to you without it seeming too forced
you both fell for each other so hard
like he would act tough to try impress you but you preferred his natural softness while you tried to act uncharacteristically docile so you wouldn’t scare him off but he liked you for your boldness 
it was a match made in heaven 💞
he eventually worked up the courage to ask you out one day and y’all have just been falling more ever since
although, that doesn’t mean yamaguchi’s forgotten one of the main reasons he wanted to be with you in the first place
‘please teach me your ways, (y/n)!’ he pleaded, his head resting on your lap so you had to cover his puppy-eyes with your phone
‘no, tadashi. firstly, you’re sweet and gentle- you’re just built like that. secondly, i don’t have any ‘ways’ to teach you!’
yamaguchi continued to pry, ‘then how are you just so effortlessly self-assured?’
‘who told you that, tadashi?’
‘no one.’ yamaguchi poked the back of your hand to get you to move it, ‘but remember that time one of the guys in our class tried to make fun of the size of your head and you told him to shut up?’
you rolled your eyes, setting your phone aside before placing a brief kiss on yamaguchi’s forehead, ‘he said he couldn’t see the board because of my ‘big head’, tadashi; that’s hardly an insult. also, what else could i have possibly said other than that?’
but then you remembered this is yamaguchi you’re talking to; if that was him, he’d probably apologise, move his head aside then cry in the bathroom or sumn.
‘i should be the one asking you why you’re so insecure. i mean, i know everyone is a little bit insecure about something but you just take it to a whole other level.’ you mused, absentmindedly massaging his scalp
yamaguchi frowned, ‘exactly! teach me how to stop being insecure.’
‘no please, no thank you?’ you inquired with a snicker, realising that your habits might of accidentally rubbed off on him
bc just a few weeks ago, he’d be thanking you for breathing the same air as him but now he didn’t even say ‘please’ when asking for a favour 
gasp
‘please teach me how to be resilient, (y/n).’
you chuckled, leaning down to whisper in his ear, ‘okay, since you’re so polite, i’ll tell you my secret - but promise not to tell anybody else!.’
‘i promise.’ yamaguchi replied without hesitation
‘okay, first thing you need to do is go to the depths of hell and find satan hims--’ 
yamaguchi let out a sigh as he realised that you weren’t being serious then playfully flicked your forehead away, ‘rude.’
you beamed, pressing another kiss upon his forehead, ‘i know~’
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Shōyō Hinata
let’s not pretend hinata wasn’t shitting his pants when he first heard about you from kageyama
‘they called me a shitty setter the other day.’
but kageyama failed to mention the part where he cut you in line for lunch 🙄 mans had it coming
like hinata genuinely thought that if he came within a 5 foot radius of you, you’d literally come for volleyball career
plus, hinata knew he had a lot of things to be insults on (mostly, his height) so he decided to keep his distance at first 
but when he actually saw you - rather than a vague description that kageyama conjured - he kinda fell head over heels
well, not only bc of your looks - he isn’t that shallow
but the same day, you dropped your purse/wallet on the walk home and ,mhsince hinata was walking behind you, he acted as any good Samaritan would; picked it up then handed it to you 
then you said something along the lines of ‘thanks, shorty.’
not shawty. lord- shorty as in short with a y at the end
and whether you meant that as a dig or not was beyond him - but either way, he fkn adored it 
also it doesn’t matter whether you are taller or shorter than hinata- he is still short-stuff >:)
by some miracle he managed to ask you out successfully and he’s kinda been glued to you ever since
like he wants to spend every second that he’s not at volleyball club/school with you 
and if you tell him he’s being clingy, he’s going to cry-
nonono jk jk
he’d probably be a bit offended but then give you your space
also, you noticed how he was really endeared by the tad mean nicknames you gave him like ‘shorty’, ‘short stuff’ and ‘ginger’
the only ones he didn’t like was ‘boke’ or ‘dumbass’ bc it reminded him too much of kageyama + tsukishima
so you started calling him these things - teasingly - more frequently 
and he loves it ngl
as long as you aren’t truly mean to him, he enjoys being called these things by you for some reason
so, his first mistake was assuming that you’d like being called these joking nicknames just as much as he does
you were helping him with english once and it’s definitely not his strong suit
same, hinata
‘look at that! you spelt all your vocabs correctly, for a change.’ you commented, peering over the desk at the paper sitting in front of him
his eyes widened and his lips curled into a hopeful smile, ‘really?!’
‘no.’ you snickered, pointing to the first word on the list. ‘your word was taxis - you wrote ‘texas’, dumbass.’
hinata let out an exasperated sigh, propping his elbow onto the table to rest his cheek on his palm
then, he had an idea ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
‘alright, stupidface, should i rewrite them?’
you gasped, furrowing your brows at what he just called you 
for a moment, you thought you might’ve misheard him but upon observing his smug expression, you realised that he really did just call you a ‘stupidface’ 
so you burst out laughing 
obviously, hinata was rather shocked at your reaction
‘hey! what’s so funny?’
‘di- di- did you just call me a ‘stupidface’?!’ you panted in-between cackles, clutching your stomach to soothe the butterflies
hinata jutted out his bottom lip and folding his arms over his chest, ‘yeah, what about it?’
‘that is so cute!- do it again!’ you demanded, enthusiastically slamming your fist against the desk
‘IT’S NOT CUTE!’ hinata barked, playfully flicking your forehead 
once you caught your breath, you took hinata’s hands and looked him dead in the eyes, ‘you’re fucking adorable, shōyō.’
the hoarseness of your voice making it sound like somewhat of a threat 
‘you’re adorable-er, (y/n).’
‘i know.’
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Kōshi Sugawara 
he admires how strong and independent you are/seem 😍
and the fact you don’t go out of your way to suck-up to ppl 
he kinda wants to be like you in that sense but unlike yamaguchi, he accepts that he’s way too much of a people pleaser for that lol
so he sticks to admiring you from afar
then he musters up the courage to ask you out with some chocolate cupcakes; the same kind that you accidentally got on his blazer on the first day of second year :))
and you say yes (╯▽╰ )
also a big part of your relationship is aggressive positivity ✨😡
like if he makes a joke about looking crusty, you’ll promptly respond, ‘shut up, kōshi - you look so hot.’
or if you berate yourself for getting a poor mark on a test, suga will interrupt with no hesitation, ‘fuck off, (y/n), you’re literally so smart and hard working - you’ll probably get 100% on the next test.’
also when he’s around you he switches between canon and fanon suga rapidly 
one second he’s like ‘aww, are you stressed bc of school? i’ll bake you some cookies, baby--’ then you’ll jokingly make a comment about his post-practise B.O and he’ll literally get so defensive
‘WOW I OFFER YOU SOMETHING NICE AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! STOP BEING SO MEAN TO ME, COMING FOR MY INSECURITES LIKE THAT  - I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO FOR A SHOWER ANYWAY GEEZ’ ┗|`O′|┛
ISVBFELIAEA plz he is too much ✋
he just prides himself in smelling like ocean breeze 99% of the time so you really didn’t need to hurt his feelings like that when you caught him lackin c’mon LMAO
‘wait so are we making cookies or not?’ you inquired, stifling a snicker at his little diva moment
‘ofc we are 🥺’  
he’ll probably use red icing on one of the cookies to draw a ‘>:(’ face then hand it to you, saying that he drew you
he’ll also break of bits of his own cookie and feed it to you’re doing something that requires both hands like typing, homework, dishes etc
whether you eat it from his hand happily, decline his offer or bite his fingers off is really up to you 
and over time, he probably picks up on some of your traits too
especially being more straight-forward 
the team will never forget the first time he was chatting about something with the vice principle and ‘sorry, but i don’t remember asking’  fell from his lips 
everyone was shocked :o
tsukishima, tanaka & noya were so impressed tho
and so were you IVBEAOGVRN
‘wow, suga. you wanna be me so bad.’ you gloated, pressing your hand against your chest 
‘GAEIVBSLR leave me alone.’ he growled, toiling over the apology letter he was currently writing to the vice principal
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Keiji Akaashi 
he wanted you to be the dark academia to his light academia pfft
it was very much love at first sight btw 
(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ soulmates  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
the embodiment of opposites attract
he’d write you a poem/love letter to ask you out lol
‘you’re so sappy and lame, akaashi’ you scoffed in attempt to hide the smile that was tugging at the corners of your lips as your eyes finally parted from the letter to meet his 
he couldn’t help but chuckle, ‘so is that a no?’
‘-nonono!’ you shook your head rapidly, hastily correcting him, ‘it’s a yes.’
phew 
honestly, he acted all nonchalant on the outside, but akaashi would’ve been devastated if you rejected him
like he constantly tried to remind himself that you would probably say no, i mean he thought you were way out of his league. plus, it didn’t seem as though you were as much of a romantic as him
but fortunately, apart of him stayed hopeful 
now he was cuddled up beside you on a cold winters’ evening, casually drinking is hot cocoa as you both watched a disney movie (❤´艸`❤)
he’s the type to not even care or retort if you call him stupid or whatever
as long as your context makes it clear that you’re joking 
he’d never call you those names back though ✋
to him, you’re always gonna be ‘love’ or ‘sweetheart’
also, he’s probably equally as sarcastic as you so that’s not an issue 
ngl he probably gets really insecure when you’re hesitant about PDA tho
like he just wants to hold your hand but he doesn’t want to force it upon you and make you uncomfortable 🥺
but also, perhaps you’re too embarrassed by him to kiss him in public 
so please occasionally reassure him that you love him (;′⌒`) that always washes all his worries away 
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Yū Nishinoya
it’s literally canon that he likes ppl who show 0 interest in him (kiyoko, tsukki etc)
so it shouldn’t be surprising that he’s all over you after that one time you called him a midget 
to be fair, he had it coming - he stepped on your fkn toe >:(( 
he does everything in his power to impress you and get you to take back what you said 
‘hey, (y/n)!’ he calls out to you in the middle of the bustling lunch hall, ‘could a midget do this?!’ *backflips off the table*
or when he demanded that you come to one of his volleyball games so you could see what he’s capable of and whenever he makes a good receive, he turns to look at you in the stands and winks/ points
or when he actually studies for a test just so he can flaunt his slightly above average grade to you 
‘look, (y/n), i got a 49%!’ he waves a paper in front of your face, which you stare at before lowering your gaze onto your 95%.
but ngl..he really brings out that lil’ bit of sugar in you 
‘well done, noya.’ you choked out feeling your dignity slowly fade in your chest
he’s just so enthusiastic and charming how can you be mean to him 🥺
to his face, at least
as soon as he leaves you beef about him to your friends
‘he is so annoyingly bodacious - audacious! why does he feel the need to show me all of his achievements like i care??? and why does he have to be so cute while doing it???’
‘do you think you maybe have a teeny-tiny crush on him?--’
‘never.’
nishinoya probably asks you out pretty casually like ‘lemme take you bowling this saturday and i can show how good i am at that too!’ he offered with a bright, bold smile
‘sure, whatever.’
‘kay! it’s a date!’
‘wut-’ but before you could question him further, he sped off
nishinoya really likes to fluster and tease you 
you’ll be sitting waiting for him at the park or whatever and he’ll swagger in and shout something like ‘how’s my gorgeous s/o doing today?! i hope you weren’t waiting for me too long!--’
then you’ll have to quickly shush him before everyone with a 7 feet radius is looking at you judgementally 
he also likes to call you the most extra nicknames just to see you blush
‘good morning, my beautiful, divine, radiant god(dess) who i worship every morning of my life!~’ he sung as he waltzed into your classroom to spend lunch with you 
but he only does that bc you are so dismissive of his advances lol
like if you openly adored his kisses and nicknames, he’d probably do them sparingly  
oh and he calls you ‘my hunny bunny’ too - don’t ask why 
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Satori Tendō
you gave him your number/snap for a project and he’s one of those ppl that just assumes that y’all are friend now lol
but that wasn’t nessicarily a bad thing bc you thought he was really cool and you were happy that you still got to talk to him even after the project was over 
not that you’d ever admit it tho (╹ڡ╹ )
he’d send you cursed memes at 3AM and you’d reply like ‘mood’  then he’d fall for you 
you’d also have random, deep convos in the middle of the night 
hence he fell for you even harder 
especially bc he basically just shared his whole life story with you 
he’d spill out all his insecurities to you then you’d reply like ‘ok’ then he knew he had to ask you out bc you’re the first person not to have left him on read
so he asked you to meet him in the park and you’d reply ‘no lol  🖕 ‘ 
then he’d just smile at his phone like ‘wow, they’re so in love with me’
he’s just so used to his friends being mean to him jokingly that he can’t even tell if you’re being serious or not
so he goes to the park at the time he put forward, and ofc you’re there even though you said no bc you didn’t want tendō to show up for nothing 🥺
he was ecstatic that you were there and he probably brought you an energy drink or lollipop then asked you out
and ofc you said yes
i mean- you had kinda developed a soft spot for the poor guy 
you’d let him get away with certain things that others couldn’t around you 
for instance, you’d let him borrow your pencils/pens despite usually not allowing others to get ahold of your stuff
but that was just coz like- he’s your trustworthy bf- not some random classmate who had no reason or motive to be kind enough to return your pencils 
also, you’d let him cut in front of you in the lunch line and he did the same for you
oh and please bully anyone who makes fun of him 🙏
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ambivalent-anarchy · 4 years
Text
Body
Part 1 of 2
Part 2
Masterlist
Gender: Female
Pairing: Peter Parker x reader
Warning: None
Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks
Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this
The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol
A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol
Will definitely be a two parter🙂
---------------------------------------
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Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-
You'd finally finished editing the video.
It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.
People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".
You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.
When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.
Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜
Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.
You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.
The first person you showed was Michelle.
"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.
"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."
Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."
You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."
"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."
You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.
And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?
MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"
"Look, I know it's-"
"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."
The bell rang, signaling the end of class.
"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."
When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.
"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"
"Uh, yeah."
"I have to listen to it right now!"
"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"
He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.
You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.
He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.
He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.
When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."
"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"
"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."
"Are you sure?," you asked.
"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"
"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"
Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."
"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.
He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"
You nodded.
"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."
Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."
You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."
Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."
You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."
"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."
And then there was one...
Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.
When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.
"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.
"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.
MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.
You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."
You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."
Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"
Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."
"Michelle!," you scolded.
She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."
"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"
You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."
His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.
You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.
Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.
His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"
She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."
You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"
Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."
You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"
"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"
"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"
The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."
"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."
Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse
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aegialia · 3 years
Text
self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr
so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.
i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill. 
for good: 
seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through 
i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works
politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well
for ill:
wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone
not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby. 
the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting. 
for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.
one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends. 
at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.
on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me. 
i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness. 
i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories. 
i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.
tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir
p.s. fun facts about this blog:
i’ve never changed my icon or blog title
i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me. 
my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)
during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books
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tarkenee · 3 years
Note
bitches really treat living breathing bisexuals in m/f relationships like we're bad lgbt representation in a tv show or something and not... real people just living our lives lol. it's so stupid, like mind your own business. and i feel so bad for any bisexuals who are friends with those people, imagine if you were happy with your partner and wanted to share that joy with a friend and the first thing they say is "ew stop trying to make me care about your heterosexual relationship >:/ " as if that's not an extremely rude thing to do??
yeah absolutely n it's so infuriating n honesty insulting. like at this point it's not even an exaggeration that i feel like some ppl view bi ppl as just "representation" n treat bi ppl (at least those that r online) as fictional ppl
like i'm genuinely convinced that at least some of that "lgbt ppl don't have to care abt ~straight~ relationships" is just the remnants of like 2016 tumblr where ppl would make lengthy posts abt how they don't have to care abt the canon m/f pairings n instead ship one of the ppl w the same gender bc that rep is so scarce n ppl saw this n applied it to real life..
n i'm not saying that fandom tumblr is the main reason for that ofc biphobia exists off-line too but it's just such an onlie brainrot hot take like if u interact w ppl irl they will care abt u n ur relationships if they're just generally decent ppl. however those who've based their entire identity & sense of lgbt activism on fighting for like. idk clexa & johnlock online r now viewing real life lgbt ppl as representation & the way they express their identity & attraction is a performance instead of recognizing that lgbt exist for themselves n these r literally just their lives i hope these ppl never befriend an irl bisexual
maybe it sounds ridiculous but i truly do feel like the way ppl comment on those tiktoks or other posts r similar to how they talk abt a tv show or a book.. like bisexuals rly r just characters that everyone else in the community has to relate to or else they're useless
that's why i rly hate the way "lgbt experiences" center around relationships. ofc those r a huge part of it n very important but i think it's much more meaningful to look at these experiences identity-first like the individual as a person n not just as a part of a couple? bc the overwhelming emphasis on "gay relationships" as the defining lgbt experience not only implies that bisexuals still have just one foot in the community but also completely erases straight trans ppl whose relationships we should ✨care abt✨ just as much other relationships. like it's literally just ppl loving each other how does that have anything to do w how much some random person cares idgi
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freudsucks · 4 years
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//mentions of animal abuse, dead animals? (warning for ppl who might need it :] )
idk but the thought that some people want karl jacobs to sit down in front of a camera and say “sorry I sang a song about hitting rat with a baseball bat :/” is genuinely so hilarious to me.
like I saw a post comparing the rat jokes made during karl’s karaoke stream to other instances of people making “jokes” about animal abuse that were just wildly different both in tone and context??? idk much about the el*n m*sk situation but it sounds like he was laughing at a picture of a dead deer which is just...cruel? if you find amusement in a real-life picture of random dead animal that’s awful. and the shane dawson situation was so bad because it was not presented as a joke, at all. he was sitting down and talking with other people in a serious, podcast-type setting, and then suddenly described disgusting, graphically detailed events in a regular tone of voice, which of course would cause confusion and disgust.
maybe it’s just me, but neither of those scenarios are really comparable to singing about hitting rat with a baseball bat in a parody of a queen song titled “bohemian ratsody” (the same song in which they also joke about giving rat a glock and her fighting back). why? because their joke song is so far removed from reality that it’s honestly a little ridiculous to put it in the context of real-life issues.
(I don’t want to get into a whole essay about what humor is and the different types of jokes, because I’m bad at explaining, but here’s my two cents). why exactly is rat in particular so memed? because she ISN’T just a random dog, but a famous streamer’s pet, which makes her an ICON. it means that it’s funny to project various strange and outlandish scenarios onto her, much in the way people treat celebrities. making edits of rat wearing fire/demon sunglasses? sure! sending rat to the moon? awesome! giving rat a glock? hell yeah! rat buying the “big daddy” mug? why not! we obviously know that none of these examples are real, that they’re all exaggerated scenarios. so rat isn’t comparable to a real-life dog in these situations, she’s more like a character, an icon, even a Final Boss (ex. think about ranboo singing the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny)
the jokes about hating rat are funny because they’re completely irrational and everybody Knows and is Aware of that— who would /actually/ hate a cute little dog? it’s funny to say “I hate rat so much” because it’s completely strange, starting one-sided beef with a dog. it’s also amplified by the fact that the actions they describe are not feasible in any way, shape or form- first of all, they’re a group of close friends. no one in that call genuinely wants to hurt rat, they all love rat. second, it is literally impossible, as rat is inaccessible to them; rat is not their pet and they are all hundreds of miles away, meaning they would have literally no way to reach her.
it’s like how people make jokes like “I’m gonna punt that small child” all the time and no one equates that to child abuse. why? because the situation that’s presented is outlandish and unfounded. it is so far removed from reality that it’s unexpected and funny. trying to actually put it in the context of reality, (“don’t hurt a small child, what’s wrong with you??!??”) effectively misses the point and ruins the joke. there’s a reason why no one gets mad when technoblade says stuff like “I drop-kicked that child in self-defense” or makes jokes about obliterating orphans. because we understand it’s a JOKE, and not reality. it’s not meant to have any underlying meanings or social implications, it’s just a joke.
anyway, clearly some people didn’t find the jokes funny and were actually very upset about them, and their feelings are totally valid. I don’t want to invalidate anyone’s opinion, as they’re entitled to it. but in my own opinion, I honestly don’t think the jokes warrant an apology or whatever, because this is how a group of Friends joke around together. it’s going to be edgy, yes, but they’re all within each other’s boundaries and comfortable with the jokes. if you, as a Viewer, are uncomfortable, you have the ability to close the stream and find comfort in something else.
(sorry for the messy thoughts! ignore that this is a burner account. I haven’t had time to make a focused blog and I don’t want minecraft youtuber discourse on my main lol)
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