#but then when we do hang out (usually in a group) its always 'lets hang out! lets hang out!' from them but

[reallyromealone]

Can you do a long fic where bakugou has a baby brother like maybe 2 years old?

Title: sibling bonding

Fandom:my hero Academia

Warnings: male reader, baby reader, fluff, big brother Bakugo, soft Bakugo

Notes: I can't promise a long fic as my fic lengths are based off of how much steam I have but ill write what I can

☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️

Bakugo was happy to have the house mostly alone, his parents in Milan for two weeks he had off for a fashion show.

Why was he mostly alone?

Well they couldn't take his little brother, the two year old didn't do planes well and it was just easier to find a sitter or let him stay with someone for the time, usually their aunty. "Uh-oh" (name) said as he dropped his sippy cup carefully lifting it back up before wandering to his brother "ka!" He said happily as he climbed onto the couch "what squirt?" Katsuki said to the young tot who looked at his phone "what do?" He asked as Katsuki got notifications from discord "I'm texting a few friends, they're coming to visit later for a movie" he was always so soft with his brother, sure he was loud as the rest of his family but his baby brother took more after their dad so he always tried to be gentle.

"Oovee?" He asked curiously and Katsuki nodded "yeah a movie, we gotta get some snacks for you and me before it" he said to the boy who smiled "cake!" "No cake but we can get you a cake pop when we get our walk home drink" Katsuki knew how to compromise with the boy who clapped his hands excitedly.

Katsuki helped (name) put on his shoes before putting him on his shoulders, it was easier to do than hold his hands and (name) got to have fun.

The two went to the convenience store as (name) pointed to various snacks, Katsuki having to hinder the boy with the fact he wanted /everything/ the store had to offer but did compromise with some ice cream and little treats for after dinner and such.

"Cake!" (Name) was absolutely thrilled when Katsuki handed him a cake pop, the teen holding the snacks with one hand and had (name) on his hip as they walked home, (name) eating his treat contently, the boy taking a sip from their drink occasionally.

(Name) loved helping his brother, the tot getting to help put things together for the hang out "you get to watch a movie then it's bath time alright?" Katsuki said to his brother who did a little dance before running off to go play with his toys 'weird kid' Katsuki thought fondly as he finished prep.

"YOOOO BAKUBRO!" Kirishima said as he and a few other classmates entered the Bakugo house, Kaminari whistling at how nice it was inside "whose ready to paaaarty!" Mina said as her, ochaco and Momo came inside with snacks "let's watch some scary...shoopuff" mina halted when she saw the two year old in Katsukis arms, little (name) looking curious but recognized Kirishima from a few visits "little man!" Kirishima ran and grabbed the boy and lifted him "what's up!"

"Hiiii!"

"Whose the kid?" Kaminari asked as (name) spoke nonsense to Kirishima but it was probably his day if any context about "walk" and "cake pop" were to go off of "that's my brother" Katsuki said gruffly, a slight glare on his face as his friends looked at the babe curiously.

During the movie, the teens would notice Bakugo would be soft with the boy even when he scolded him "oi, leave that alone" "but you're smelly!" (Name) argued back, holding a book in his hands "put it down and park your ass and watch the movie or its night time" Bakugo said to his brother who huffed but complied "you're not my favorite brother anymore!"

"Ah? And who is?"

"Dad!"

The movie went on well, the group putting on a hero movie and before they knew it, it was (name)s bath time "bubububbub!" (Name) was pleased with the bubbles as he played with his toys, his older brother working around him to wash him "head back" the teen said gruffly as he put a visor on the boys forehead and rinced out the shampoo before repeating it with the conditioner "kaa! Ducky!" The boy squirted some water at his brother who rolled his eyes "wanna see something cool?" He asked his little brother who looked curious "ya!'

Katsuki put his hand in the water and activated his quirk, just enough to give a jacuzzi affect "whoa!" The boy said excitedly as Katsuki pulled his hand out "now, out ya go!"

"Nooo!"

"None of that! Come on, let's brush your fucking teeth and get you to bed brat"

(Name) cuddled into his brothers shoulder as he wore his fuzzy pajamas, the other teens waving him goodnight as Katsuki brought him to his bedroom and tucked him into bed "hah? What's this?" Katsuki held up a small handmade plush of him in his hero suit "Die'ite!" (Name) grabbed the plush and Katsuki felt a small smile creep on his face as his little brother hugged the toy "he a hero you like?"

"He's the bestest!"

[won4kiss]

𖠵 . ׅ ࣪ ⌇ 𝐽𝐸𝐴𝐿𝑂𝑈𝑆

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 bf! 𝓀im 𝓈unoo x 𝑓! reader 𝒢enre. angst &fluff. 𝓢ynopsis. in which your boyfriend is jealous ! 𝑤𝑐 𐙚ㅤㅤ 612 ‎⸝⸝ not proofread skinship insecurities kiss. ୭ৎ — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂 ᥫ᭡

PLEASE LIKE & REBLOG ! 𓂃

YOU HAD ALWAYS BEEN CLOSE WITH RIKI, THE YOUNGEST MEMBER OF YOUR BOYFRIENDS FRIEND GROUP.

his playful nature and youthful energy made him feel like the little brother you never had.

you enjoyed spending time with him, whether it was sharing inside jokes, playing video games, playing baseball together when jake was too tired, or even helping him with dance practice.

it was a sibling-like bond that brought you joy and comfort.

however, sunoo had been acting strangely lately. he seemed distant, often watching you and riki with an unreadable expression painted on his face.

one evening, after you had spent the day hanging out with riki, sunoo had finally reached his limit. — more under cut !

you found him sitting on the balcony, the cool night air ruffling his bright hair.

the stars twinkled above the two of you, but you could cut the tension in the air with a knife.

you took a deep breath and approached him, sensing that something was wrong.

"sunoo, can we talk?" you asked gently, taking a seat beside him.

he turned to you, his eyes filled with mixed feelings of hurt and irritation.

"do you really like spending time with riki that much?" he suddenly asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

the question caught you off guard, blinking twice in confusion.

"what do you mean?"

sunoo looked away, staring at the lit up moon.

"it just feels like... like you prefer being with him over me. i see how much fun you have together, and it makes me wonder if— if you even need me around."

your heart ached at his words, leaving a big pout on your face.

you reached out, placing a hand on his arm.

"baby, no, it's not like that at all. you got it all wrong!"

he finally looked at you with his visibly hurt expression, his eyes searching yours for reassurance.

"then what is it? why do you spend so much time with him?"

you took a deep breath, wanting to choose your words carefully.

"riki reminds me of the little brother i never had growing up. i love spending time with him because he brings out a side of me that i never got to experience. it's like having a sibling i can care for and have fun with."

sunoo's expression softened, and he seemed to relax his tense figure a little.

"wait— so, it's not because... you like him more than me?"

you shook your head, squeezing his arm gently.

"not at all. my bond with riki is different. it's special in its own way, but it doesn't compare to what i have with you. you're the one i love, sunoo. i cherish every single moment we have together."

he sighed, his shoulders dropping as the tension left his body.

"i'm sorry for feeling this way. i guess i just got insecure. i should have trusted you."

you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

"it's okay to feel that way sometimes. i'm glad you told me. we should always talk about how we feel."

sunoo let out a soft giggle, the sound warming up your heart at the hint of his usual brightness returning.

"thank you for understanding. and for being honest with me."

you rested your head on his shoulder, feeling a sense of peace settle between the two of you.

"always. i love you, sunoo."

"i love you too, so much." he whispered.

the rest of the night consisted of being wrapped in sunoo’s arms holding you as you both watched the stars twinkle in the night sky, no problems in this very moment.

everything was going to be just fine.

© won4kiss 2024

taglist open ‹𝟹 @nshmuras @mioons @suneng @pnghoon @shawnyle @laylasbunbunny @privareum @briefsaladfun @greentulip

[booty-uprooter]

some tips on how to make bosses easier if youre feeling theyre too hard:

play a ranged physical dps class. that way you can hang back to keep an eye on the arena and what the boss is doing without having to worry about needing to stand still long enough to complete an induction

on that note, inductions are considered finished before the bar is full. you can usually move right before it fills and still have it go off, but it takes some trial and error to figure out how close you can cut it

move your ui around. my own life was made immeasurably easier when i put the target right above my hotbar so i wouldnt have to pay attention to both the top and bottom of the screen at the same time, but try stuff out and see what works best for you

the best time to mitigate an attack is right before the boss finishes casting it. the second best time is as soon as the mit becomes available, every time it becomes available

use addle and feint. you almost never see these used in casual content and it's a waste because they really are extremely useful skills at any level

use arm's length and surecast. there are some knockbacks they dont work on but those are rare. if you know youre gonna get pushed, use these and you probably won't get pushed

take advantage of duty support. the npcs know the mechanics. watch them and let them teach you

particle effects cant hurt you (usually). with the exception of puddles that stay on the ground for a while or layered stacks like akh morn, as long as youre not standing on the marker when it disappears (or are if it's a stack), you're in the clear. feel free to move through the animation if necessary. more and more mechanics require you to do so to be in position for the next one in time

it's usually fine to let spread markers overlap. just, yknow, make sure another person isnt in yours (though its the responsibility of anyone without a spread to keep themselves out of harms way)

when in doubt, ask your party members. it's extremely rare to match with a group of randos and have everyone be a first-timer. most players are happy to help, and the ones that know the mechanics but are bad at explaining them will usually just stick a marker on themselves (usually a triangle) for you to follow

read your tool tips. boss fights are as much a test of how well you know your class as they are your ability to read and react to mechanics. unless youre playing a healer or paladin, youre going to use your entire kit, so make sure you know what everything does

on that note, freecure is a scam. once you get cure ii/benefic ii, you will never need cure or benefic again. keep them on your hotbar for when you get synced content if you wish, but otherwise you do not need them. do not use them

if you play multiple classes, try to keep skills that do the same/similar things at the same spot on your hotbar. this isn't always possible bc despite what some may claim, not all classes of the same type are actually identical, but it will save you a lot of headaches

entirely new and unique mechanics are rare to the point of being nigh nonexistent. everything is a remix of something else and practicing in lower level content can actually be a big help

look up guides. the internet is full of them in pretty much whatever form works best for you (though they can be of admittedly variable quality)

turn down party effects. theyre on one of the tabs under character configuration > controls. if you put them on minimum you can still see heals and such but you wont have your screen constantly full of explosions

turn on target health percentage. this one is under character configuration > ui. it lets you better see how close the boss is to going down

make summons smaller. we all love titan's ass but not when it's the only thing you can see. "/petsize all small" will make this problem go away

relax and have fun. panicking leads to mistakes, which can lead to worse mistakes. if you need to take a second to breathe, do so. your party members probably wont mind waiting a minute or two between pulls

[moonmunson]

either way / no doubt

a/n: either way and no doubt by Odie Leigh have been on repeat currently and I relate to them so heavily so I word vomited on a Google docs. its a little rushed but oh well LMAO (I'm also always writing with a plus sized reader in mind)

cw: over thinker fem!reader, autistic coded reader, not knowing how to enter into a first serious relationship, kind lover boy!Eddie, no use of y/n

wc: 2.1k

It is the beginning of Spring when she meets Eddie Munson. Genuinely meets him, not just sees him around town and wonders what it’s like to be in his orbit. Working at the local diner, she sees him and his group of friends often. She’s served them a couple times, and they’re always respectful - albeit rambunctious. They tip well, stack their dishes for the busboys to clear, wave to her on the way out. 

It’s the day Eddie comes in by himself that marks it as different, new. He sits in her section of the diner, glances her way and then averts his gaze when she meets it. That’s odd, but she doesn’t think much else of it. Not until the end of his meal - consisting of a solitary cup of coffee and a slice of apple pie - does he stop her when she checks to see if he needs anything. 

He asks if she’d want to hang out sometime, and she laughs - a forced exhale of nerves. He asks why she’s laughing, and she doesn’t know what to say. After a few moments of awkward silence, she relents and shrugs. What would we do? He says anything she wants. What if she doesn’t know what she wants to do? He says they’ll figure it out together. 

They end up sitting in the back of Eddie’s van, the open doors facing Lover’s Lake. She’s fidgety, and stumbling over her words. He keeps staring at her when she talks and she’s not used to anybody doing this much work to stay focused on her and what she has to say, especially because she’s not saying much of substance. He asks her so many questions, and mundane ones at that. How are classes at the community college? What’s your major? She answers as best she can. 

The feeling of someone looking at her makes her skin crawl. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands, she’s uncomfortably aware of the position of her nose on her face, which seems incredibly silly, and then she’s thinking about just how silly that is when he asks her if she’s alright. 

“Sorry?”

“I was just asking if you felt alright. It looked like you went away for a second there,” Eddie ducks his head down to catch her line of sight. Eye contact has always been difficult for her, but this is different - warm - like sunshine. “I know I’m not the most exciting person to talk to, but I hope you’re having a good time. I enjoy talking to you.” 

“I’m here, sorry. I like talking to you too.”

“You don’t have to apologize, it’s okay.”

“Sorry. Oh-” She sucks in a breath and places her hand over her mouth, eyes wide at the realization of her mistake. He giggles, a sweet boyish sound, and it warms his face. She thinks she could love that face, if he let her. If she knew how. She laughs too, despite herself. “It’s a bad habit. I really have to stop apologizing so much.” 

He’s still smiling when he says it’s okay, he understands. 

Later, when he drops her off at her apartment, the sun has gone down. The ride he’d offered her is relatively quiet. It’s a strange thing, to see the way someone adjusts themself around you. The usual loud heavy metal is absent here. The fast driving and sharp turns are traded in for complying with the speed limit, graceful steering and soft brakes. When he looks at her, she directs her gaze out the window - when she looks at him, he is focused on the road. 

He stops her as she takes off her seatbelt and goes to open the door, jumping out of his own and running around the front of the van to open it for her. She leads him to her front door, and he asks if he can see her again, if he can have her number. She nods, and rummages around her purse for a few frantic seconds before finding her waitress notepad and pen. When she rips the page out that she’s written her number on and hands it to him, he clutches it to his chest and smiles.  

“I’ll call you when I get home, if that’s okay. Just to let you know I made it back safely.”

“And if I want to keep talking to you?”

“We can talk for as long as you want to.” 

“Okay.” 

Eddie walks backwards for a few seconds, keeping his eyes locked on hers, paper still against his heart. By the time he’s made it back to his van, he lifts a hand up for a short wave goodbye, and turns to face the vehicle. 

Now or never. 

“Eddie?” In true Munson fashion, he whips around completely at the sound of her calling out to him. 

“Yeah, sweets?” 

“I just wanted to tell you I had a really nice time with you today. I can’t wait for you to call me later.” She tucks her hair behind her ears, needing to do something with her hands to offset the nausea brought about by her impulsive vulnerability. He smiles wider, if that’s even possible. 

“I’m glad you had a good time. I’ve been wanting to ask you out forever, Gareth and the guys kept busting my balls about it. I promise I’ll call when I get home.” 

She nods, her eyes tracking his steps as he makes it to his car. She watches him drive off. It feels so strange, this immediate wanting him to come back, wanting him to come inside and crawl into her brain. To know her fully. It scares her in a way she’s incredibly unused to. When she can’t hear the music blasting from his speakers anymore, she makes her way inside and slumps against the door for a few seconds. 

He does call when he gets home, and they talk until the sun rises. 

__

They spend the next few days talking on the phone. It’s easier like this, she thinks. She doesn’t have to worry about the way she looks when she’s thinking of something to say. She doesn’t have to avoid his white hot gaze, the way she can feel it trail over her face when she’s speaking. If he notices how much more she opens up to him when they’re not actively sitting next to each other, he doesn’t mention it. 

When they’re not on the phone, he clings to her brainspace like moss on a tree. She can’t stop thinking about him, to the point she’s worried she’s obsessing over something that isn’t there. He’d said he had a good time, he said he enjoyed talking to her, so why does it keep bothering  her so much? He feels safe. He does feel safe, but she’s not used to conversations with no expectations. No guise, no hidden agenda. If he notices the way she starts to pull away due to her overthinking, her sentences shorter and stunted, he doesn’t mention it. He carries on as usual, calling her to talk about what he’d done that day. It makes her smile. 

When he asks, unprompted, if he can see her again, she says yes. 

__

They go to the lake again. It is an early March morning, the last tendrils of Winter still grasping desperately for some kind of recognition against early Spring. He brings a blanket and hot cocoa for both of them, and she feels it in her chest - warm and sweet and chocolatey, like his eyes. It’s easier this time, talking to him. She spends less time worried about her posture and cadence - more time really listening to him speak and trying her hardest to maintain eye contact. 

The early morning breeze makes ripples on the otherwise still surface of the water. It’s so beautiful. He’s so beautiful. He’s so expressive when he speaks. She used to think he was careless, jumping on tables and riling up the people he knew didn’t like him. Seeing him up close like this, she realizes it’s kind of the opposite. It’s careful, planned, the way he uses his hands, his eyes. Even when he’s talking about a book he's read a million times, she feels like she's there among the scenery and characters he describes. It’s entirely captivating. She wants to be more like him. Carefully carefree. 

She’s never done this kind of thing - the relationship kind of thing. If that’s what this is, she has no idea how to traverse this new terrain. She can’t find her footing, she doesn’t know what the formula is, what the proper way to go about it looks like. She doesn’t think about sounding weird when she asks:

“What are we doing?” 

Eddie pauses mid sip, brings the cup back down to his lap. 

“Currently? Or like, with our lives?” He chuffs out a little laugh. Not in a teasing way, though it's hard for her to differentiate. “Because currently, from my perspective at least, I’m sitting in my van with a pretty girl talking about our favorite books. What I’m doing with my life is something a lot of people, including me, would really like to know.” 

Levity, she recognizes. 

“Sorry if it's a weird question, I just…” She trails off, breaking eye contact, looking at her hands in her lap. He scoots forward a bit, the side of his thigh touching hers as their legs dangle off the back of the van. He doesn’t push her to say anything, doesn’t acknowledge the unneeded apology, doesn’t fill the silence with his own voice.  He just waits, patiently. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him sit this still. 

“I really like you, and I really like talking to you. I’ve never done anything like this,” She uses her pointer finger to gesture between the two of them, drawing a connecting line between their bodies, “I don’t know how to, if that makes sense. I’m not really a lot of people’s type, I guess.” 

“Hey, look at me,” Eddie sets the cup down next to him and very gently takes her hand, locks their fingers together. When she raises her eyes to meet his, he continues. “There’s no rush, I mean it. You set the pace here, okay? I like you, like a lot. If all you wanna do is sit here and talk, I’m totally fine with that. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”  

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, sweets.” 

“What if you find out how weird I am and decide you don’t want to talk to me anymore?” 

At this, Eddie relinquishes his grip on her hand, hops down from the lip of the back of the van, and stands in front of her. 

“Y’know who you’re talking to?” two thumbs pointed towards himself - eyebrows raised, mouth quirked in a goofy grin, “King of the freaks, misfits, and ne'er do wells. I don’t think you could scare me off, but you’re certainly welcome to try.” 

“So just… be myself?” She scrunches her face up - the idea of being genuine is almost totally foreign to her. 

“Be yourself!” 

“Ew. Yeah, alright, fine.” She sighs in resignation and shrugs a shoulder. Doesn’t think about how convincing he is, or how willing she was to drop some of her defenses. Carefully carefree. She can do it. 

They share a laugh, finishing their luke-warm cocoa together and talking until the sun is high in the sky and the temperature rises too high for them to ignore any longer. This time, the drive home is less quiet. She meets his gaze when he looks over at her from the driver’s seat, she hums along to the sound of the radio, it's nice. Comfortable. 

Just like last time, Eddie hastens to run around the van and open her door for her. He extends a hand to help her down and out, and they stay connected on the short journey to her apartment’s front door. Eddie watches while she digs the keys out of her purse, unlocking the door and leading the both of them inside for a drink. He kicks his shoes off by the welcome mat, and they look like they belong there. 

It is the beginning of Spring when Eddie Munson permanently plants himself in her life, a steadfast source of comfort and nourishment. It is hard for her, and it takes longer than most for her to truly open up. To show him all the nooks and crannies of her mind. He takes it all in stride - her overthinking, her quirks and neuroses. He shows her that it is entirely impossible to trust someone enough to take part in the watering and flowering - that it's not a weight she has to hold alone. She can bloom.

__

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[iznyangwoni]

STRINGS OF FATE, chapter three

“are you sure we can stay here?” you ask heeseung, getting in his room. He said that the coffee shop was getting too loud, and he couldn’t really focus there, so he took you to the dorm. Obviously, you’re not that dumb, you know where he wants this to end and honestly, you dont want that.

But you need to finish this stupid essay, so might as well do it with his help and also, maybe, at least you hope, that being close to him without going too far, will make him want to know you in more than just that aspect. “Ah. Sure, Jungwon is at the gym at this time.”

You nod, something about that Jungwon guy is really iffy. You still dont know why or what makes you think that but, anytime your eyes meet that glacial look, its like your lifespan decreases. Still, he’s not here now, so that’s great. Heeseung leaves a few seconds to go to the bathroom, and you spend that time looking around.

Each dorm room is combined by three different rooms, and since Heeseung and Jungwon are just two, they used the center one as a little hanging out space. Its… not your style, at all. You’re used to open spaces, lots of light entering the room and light forniture, and well, this is the complete opposite.

You’re not even sure it would pass the monthly inspection, the walls are decorated with graffiti, which are banned, the curtains are so dark you can barely see, and it overall looks like living hell here. But you’re no one to judge, maybe thats just how usual VKs are used to live in their castles… cause they have castles, right?

One thing that catches your eyes is a little picture frame. You take it in your hands to look at it closely, its a photo of Heeseung’s group, when they were younger. You can clearly see him, in the center, taller than anyone else and with a huge smile on his face, on his right is who you think is Jimin, both Sunoo and Minjeong have mentioned her a couple of times, and not for good reasons. Meanwhile on the far left is Chaewon, you’ve seen her a couple of times on campus, all you know is that she’s pretty funny but also can be pretty hot headed.

And then, on Heeseung’s right, is Jungwon. If you didn’t know they were friends, you wouldn’t have even recognized him. He was so much shorter than Heeseung, and even Jimin. His cheeks were puffy and you could see the shine in his eyes from the picture, a smile on his face, something you had never seen before. “Stalking around?” you were so focused on the picture that you didnt even hear Heeseung getting out of the bathroom.

“Oh! No, no, this just caught my attention.” “Aah, that one.” the guy takes the frame off of your hands and points at it with an amused smile. “Weren’t we so cute?” you smile, honestly, yes they were cute, but the filthy clothes they were wearing and the dirt on their faces in that picture, definitely makes you think something else instead of ‘cute’.

“Have you guys been friends for long? Jungwon doesn’t even look like himself there. Must’ve been a long time.” Heeseung puts the frame back were it was, and leans his shoulder on the wall, looking at you with that same smile. He nods, probably replying to your first question. “Yeah. that was before the isle of the lost was even open.” You just nod, its been eight years since that happened, you barely even understood what was happening at the time.

“And Jungwon isnt always so gloomy. you know. He just.. he’s pretty different.” You nod again, wondering what he means by that. Most of the people you know here, if not all, are sons and daughters of princesses, princes, royal guards, or enchanted beings, fairies and more. You’ve never really met the son of a god, let alone three deities. But you still wonder how that would affect him, is it in a social way? Maybe he feels like an outcast? You should try being his friend then..

“Anyway, this friday the Princeternity is hosting a party, i know a guy or two there, i was wondering if you’d like to come?” Your cheeks and ears become red the second he asks you that. Is he asking you out? At a party? Are you really going to a party with him? This is a huge deal, you thought he was looking for something casual but this, this is huge. You nod enthusiastically, maybe too much, since he giggles right after.

“Yeah! I mean, sure. Sure. I’d love to. This friday?” He laughs nods his head to say yes. His hand comes to your face, his fingers pinching your cheek gently. “Can’t wait to see you all dolled up for me, uh.”

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[aurorawhisperz]

ethan x fem!reader who smokes 🤭

“What are you doing?” You jumped slightly at the sound of Ethan’s voice. He frowns at the sight of you on the ground and holding a lighter. “Am I interrupting something?” He asks.

“Yes.”

The curly-headed boy raises his eyebrows and looks around, “Doesn’t seem relevant enough to be interrupted.” He grins. You quickly hide the cigarette and sit up, feeling a bit embarrassed by being caught. “Go back to Chad or something.” You roll your eyes.

Every party you had went to, you usually snuck behind the frat house to smoke. Every. Single. One. You liked it when nobody came to look for you.

To your surprise, Ethan appeared next to you, looking a bit out of place.

“So, what are you doing here?” You exhale a puff of smoke. Ethan wasn't exactly known for attending these kinds of parties, so seeing him here was unexpected.

He hesitated for a moment, then finally took a seat next to you. “Mind if I join you?”

You shrugged, taking another drag. “Not at all. Enjoying the party?” Ethan glanced around, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks. “Yeah, it's... different from what I'm used to.”

You chuckled softly. “Well, these parties can be a bit of a shitshow. People usually come here to let loose and rub up against each other.”

“Rub up against each other.” He repeats, chuckling. “I just realized we don’t really hang out, since you’re always with.. my sister and stuff.”

You look at him, surprised that he's addressing the elephant in the room. Your mind races for a moment as you try to figure out his intentions.

Ethan’s voice seems a bit nervous, and he avoids your gaze, focusing on his fidgeting fingers.

“Yeah, you're right,” You reply with a soft smile, taking another drag from your cigarette. “We're usually caught up with the whole friend group dynamic.”

Ethan lets out a relieved laugh, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “Yeah, exactly. It's like we're all connected through each other, but I've been curious about getting to know everyone better.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued by his sudden openness. “Well, what do you want to know?”

He looks up, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before he glances away again. “What do you like to do when you're not at parties?”

Considering his question, realizing that you don't often talk about these things with anyone. “I'm a bit of a book collector, actually. I enjoy reading, and I'm into photography too.”

There’s something about him that feels magnetic this time, being this close and looking at him. It almost feels like a need instead of a want.

The night air starts to feel chilly, and you can't help but shiver slightly. As you take another drag from your cigarette, Ethan glances at you, concern evident in his eyes. “Hey, are you cold?”

You chuckle softly, the cold breeze getting to you. “Guess I didn't dress for the weather.”

Ethan hesitates for a moment, then shrugs off his jacket. “Here,” he offers, holding it out to you. “I don’t really need it.”

You look at him, a bit surprised by the gesture. His jacket seems to be a comforting cocoon of warmth, and you hesitate for a moment before accepting it with a grateful smile. “Thanks, E.”

The nickname made him turn all shades of red and pink.

He smiles back, a touch of shyness in his expression. “No problem. It's better than you freezing out here.”

As you put on his jacket, you're met with its familiar warmth and a faint hint of his cologne. It's a surprisingly intimate gesture, one that makes you feel closer to him in this quiet moment. The chilly night no longer bothering you.

The conversation continues, Ethan seems even more at ease, a genuine smile lighting up his features. The two of you talk about everything from ice cream flavors to childhood memories, each exchanged feeling more comfortable than the last.

Ethan glances at your cigarette and chuckles. “Let me try.” A sheepish grin on his face.

You smirk playfully. “Well, if you're curious, I guess you can try it. But Quinn would go crazy.”

Ethan chuckles softly, his eyes lighting up mischievously. “Actually, I don't think she would care.”

You notice that Ethan's gaze lingers on your plump lips for a moment, and your heart skips a beat. Without fully realizing it, you lean in slightly, drawn by an invisible string between you.

His eyes meet yours, his breath hitching as he leans in as well. It's a moment frozen in time, one where everything seems to hang in the balance.

Just as your lips are about to touch, a loud crash echoes from somewhere behind you, and you both startle, pulling away from each other. You turn to see a purse rolling on the ground, having been thrown out of a frat house window.

You can't help but laugh. “Definitely not the most romantic timing.”

He chuckles nervously, running a hand through his brown curls. “Yeah, I guess not.”

•

The party had started winding down already, and you find yourselves by a streetlight now. “I had a really great time talking to you, (NAME).”

“Unexpectedly fun.” You joke, and look down. Your phone lights up with Quinn's name. “I have to, um, go.” You manage an awkward smile.

But before you can continue, Ethan's lips are suddenly on yours. It's a gentle and fleeting kiss, a promise of what could have been. His touch is soft, his intent clear, and just as quickly as it happened, he pulls away, his cheeks flushed.

How could this boy be so hot and awkward at the same time?

Ethan steps back, a shy smile on his face. “Sorry about that. I couldn't resist.”

Your heart races, and you can't help but smile in return. “No need to apologize.”

As you fumble for your phone, Ethan's expression becomes playful. “You might want to answer that. Don't want Quinn thinking you're avoiding her.”

You step closer. “Well, this was unexpected, but I'm really glad we had this chance to talk.”

Ethan's smile becomes more assured, his gaze steady. “Me too. We should do it again sometime.”

Before he can continue, you lean in and places a quick, soft kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight.”

This night, this boy, this connection, this memory. You were never gonna let it go. It all just happened with a cigarette.

[tacticaldiary]

To Hate A Heart That Beats For You

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Genre: Jealousy, Tension

"Say please." It's all teeth and a sharp teasing voice with her. Ghost stills at the command, annoying flickering its agitated flames.

Every fucking thing about her rubbed him the wrong way, made him so...out of control? Agitated? All of the above? She always somehow manages to make him concede. She did it back then and she's doing it right now with his breath ghosting over her lips, hot and heavy.

Masterlist

There are not many things that shake the foundation of control Ghost keeps a tight grip on.

Throw him in the middle of a gunfight, a brawl or a series of rough drills and he's normally the first one to make it out. All his life he's been the kind of person to keep to himself, to deal with problems as efficiently and effectively as possible.

She was the exception.

Standing in front of him after two years, with the same pride lining her shoulders, the defiance in her eyes.

"You remember the Lieutenant, don't you?" Laswell stands between them, an unknowing mediator.

"We're...acquainted." She says dryly, locking eyes with Ghost himself. Her voice is the same as well. Everything about her is a shock to his system so part of him is glad that she's the one who spoke up.

Two years. Two years since they'd been promoted to the rank of Lieutenant together and gone their separate ways. He'd joined the 141 and she had taken fancy to some tactical intel gathering specialist group.

Laswell pauses, looking up from her file at the clear snap of tension in the air.

"No need for introductions then." She shuts the folder, giving them both her full attention. "She'll be joining your team for today, talking to your recruits about the intel gathering division she's a part of. Sergeant Gaz is already doing vice versa. I expect you to play nice for today, I don't want any... incidents, copy?"

"Copy." She says, watching Ghost nod.

And then suddenly they're alone, with only the thump of distant footsteps from the recruits to punctuate the silence hanging between them.

"As friendly as ever I see."

"I'm as friendly as you are pleasant." Ghost responds.

"I'm plenty pleasant. It's you that's never been able to get that stick out of your ass."

"Careful." He narrows his eyes, pushing himself off the wall. "We know how the last time you picked a fight ended."

"That's cute." She smiles. "I seem to remember you getting put on desk duty for two weeks."

"After I choked you out on the training mat."

"I'm sure you've been dreaming of doing that again." Her self-satisfied smile widens when he doesn't respond for a moment, taken aback. With a shake of her head, she directs her gaze back onto the field where the soldiers are slowly finishing their last lap. "I feel sorry for them. Having to see your ugly mug in the morning with that mask can't make their breakfast settle very well."

An arm brushes against hers, and before he pushes past her, Ghost leans down right next to her ear. "You were yelling quite the opposite the last time you saw it." He whispers with a slightly thicker accent than usual, letting the satisfaction of seeing that smug expression falter for a moment settle deep into him as he knocks past her roughly.

They had a...messy history to say the least.

Two forces as headstrong as them were bound to butt heads. Her earliest memory is arguing with him. The both of them have always had a competitive streak, whether that be on the mat or running timed drills.

That tension had to blow up in their faces sometime, and that time just happened to be the day after they both got promoted...

Her eyes follow his form as he orders the recruits over, telling them to split into small groups, informing them of why she was there.

Red creeps up her neck her mind flashes back to that night. They had been taunting each other in passing all day, silently arguing who the better candidate had been, which one of them deserved it more. It doesn't sound like Ghost at all but they'd always had something more fiery than what they were like by themselves.

One too many jabs had led to a small tussle, which had led to a moment of weakness and...well, now's not the time to remember the frantic touches and calloused hands. The first time she'd seen his maskless...

He certainly had been anything but ugly and that makes her so fucking mad.

Shaking it off, she composes herself and decides to take the reigns.

                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It's been an hour of standing around, supervising the talk, and Ghost is ready to tear into something. Or someone, more preferably.

His jaw clenches, watching how she floats from soldier to soldier, group to group. The effect on them is instantaneous with the way they straighten up, surprised at being addressed before melting into smiles that are a tad bit too wide and eager, and eyes that wander farther than appropriate.

Her hand lingers on some of their shoulders, elbows nudge and compliments flow out of her mouth.

Maybe he's finally going insane?

A few times their eyes meet, and neither of them look away, too stubborn to be the first to fold. Every time, the corner of her mouth quirks up when she turns to keep doing what she was.

A sick, ugly feeling rears its head inside him at the sight.

What gave those pathetic recruits the right to look at her that way? And why are his fingers twitching for the knives strapped along the expanse of his body?

Why the fuck does he care?

"...Ghost? You with us?" She raises an eyebrow when his glare snaps to her instead. She's wandered over to him, leaving the recruits to talk amongst themselves for a break.

"What?" He says coldly.

"Someone piss in your breakfast?" God, he'd throttle her first, then move on to those other men-

"Same person who pissed in yours." The retort gets him a raise of an eyebrow but nothing more.

"Sure. I'm done here, so you can go back to terrorising the poor kids." It's a receptive group, more than a couple of them had shown interest in what she was saying. A few of the more promising ones she had taken a personal note of, intending to pass their names forward to Laswell to consider.

"Until we have the misfortune of meeting again." She says, and maybe it's a throwaway act of trying to remain civil in such a public setting, but she extends a hand towards him.

He eyes it for a second, eyes narrowing.

"If you're afraid I'll throw you over my shoulder like last time-"

She grins smugly when he takes her hands, squeezing it through the brief handshake a little harder than necessary.

                                  · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

This is a terrible idea.

Somehow, because whoever's up there seems to have a personal vendetta against him, Ghost finds himself standing in front of her office door, a file on all the recruit's scores and past experiences Laswell had ordered him to pass onto her clutched loosely in his arm.

It was 11 at night, but the army notoriously never slept.

Because he's not a fucking animal, he knocks, waiting to hear her call out an okay before pushing the door open.

It's as sparsely decorated as his own office. There's not much to keep the value of sentiment in with lives as busy as theirs, but the things that catch his focus are the small picture frames set on her desk.

After her, of course.

Changed into something more casual, his eyes trace the dips and curves that are so utterly her.

"Did you need something?" She asks, the friendly edge to her voice flittering away when she sees it's him.

"No, but you do." Moving closer, he tosses the file onto her desk. Staring at it for a moment, she clicks her tongue whilst flipping through the pages.

"I'd like to snag a couple of these for my team in a few years." She mutters to herself, pausing over a few of the reports. Ghost's hands twitch with the urge to curl them inwards when he remembers the events of this morning.

She's studying him, he realises. With a quiet, titled expression, she's taking him in head to toe and it's the first time in a while Ghost has felt so stripped to the core.

"Got something to say?" His voice comes out rougher than intended. Making no move to speak, the corner of her lips quirk up slightly. Huffing quietly, she spins her chair back around to face her desk, picking up the pen she'd discarded when he first walked through her doors.

It's quiet. The scratching of pen on paper. Something about it jarrs him, ignites a twinge of irritation because why the hell is she so quiet now after he's asked her a question? Normally she sparsely shuts up enough for his heart to cool down from its quickened pace.

He'd say later on that he weighed the decision he made, that he really thought it through but frankly, the only thing on his mind is her, and it's cloudy with enough anger and an emotion he's not willing to admit right now that he acts without thinking. Completely on instinct.

Ghost spins the chair around so he's facing her and looking down. "Ignoring me now?" He says into the sharp silence. "Never thought I'd see the day you shut your mouth."

"Is that the way you talk to someone you spent the night with?" She answers. He grunts in surprise at her hand curling around the back of his beck, yanking him further down until they're face to face. "That's why you're still here, aren't you? Still bothered from this morning?" The smug look on her face only makes Ghost more irritated because she's right. He could have easily left after dropping the file off. He had no apparent reason to stay. "Couldn't stand the thought of sharing something you've already had a bite out of?"

It dawns on him with her tone right there and then.

She'd been doing it on purpose. The glances to him as she made her rounds, the way she lingered over the recruits only when she could feel his eyes burning into her from behind.

Ghost is met with that teasing, smug grin that fixes him into place a little too effectively because when she hooks an ankle around the bend of his knee and pulls, he goes down onto his knees without much of a fight. He's tall enough so they're actually face to face now, eyes level.

"Finally caught on?" The smooth lilt to has his stomach twisting and his mind reeling, though he stays as composed on the outside as always. Waiting. Watching. Urging himself to keep his hands to himself.

"Fuckin' hell." He breathes out. "You little minx."

"Affirmative."

Heated eyes take in the being that is her. Sharp smiles, dirty tactics, and that attitude that made him want to do things that would get him discharged if he were to ever voice them.

All of her was a deadly beautiful.

It checks out that Ghost is lover of deadly.

Calloused, rough hands, trails up her legs and settle around her hips. His eyes flicker down to her mouth and for a moment, neither of them speak. Then she leans closer and for a moment Ghost braces himself.

"Say please." It's all teeth and a sharp teasing voice with her. Ghost stills at the command, annoying flickering its agitated flames.

Every fucking thing about her rubbed him the wrong way, made him so...out of control? Agitated? All of the above?

He swallows past the bitter taste in his throat. Weighs his options.

"Please."

He mumbles it because she always somehow manages to make him concede. She did it back then and she's doing it right now with his breath ghosting over her lips, hot and heavy.

A smirk curves her mouth. "What was that?" She whispers. "Couldn't quite hear you..." Her hands move from his collar up to the edge of his balaclava, toying with the edge. Ghost makes no move to stop her when she slowly, so achingly slowly, starts rolling the fabric up.

"I fuckin' hate you." He growls, actions and words at war.

"You're showing me a lot of love for someone who claims so." Is all she says, movements halting as the fabric bunches over his nose, laying bare the bottom half of his face. "Would you let anyone touch you like this, hmm?" Skimming her fingers over the scar on his chin, his own hands tighten around her hips at the gentle feeling. She ends up cupping his cheeks. "Because I'll tell you this, Simon-"

It's a physical reaction, the way she says his name. He straightens up instinctively and takes in a muted, sharp inhale. She leans closer, and if he only tilted his head up a fraction they'd brush lips.

"It's been a long time since I've let anyone touch me like you are."

It snaps something in him, maybe his patience or perhaps his resolve.

One hand slides up to the back of her neck, the other one yanks her out of her chair and to the floor. He crashes their mouths together in a kiss that brings an instant sort of relief. It's not sweet by any means, all clicking teeth and pulling at each other. Hands roaming and breaths shared.

Neither of them knows who pulls away first, but eventually they're left to catch their breath, their foreheads pressed together.

Then she laughs, a light, soft breeze. "You should've seen yourself back then. Looked like you wanted to flay those kids alive." She snickers.

"I did." There's no use denying it, not when this, when she, makes something curl up and settle down deep within him. As much as she riles him up, she also brings him a kind of peace that he can't describe.

Goddamn, he's so far gone. Maybe he should book in a psych eval soon...

"Never thought I'd see the day you were like this." She hums, "Wish I'd taken a video of it."

"It won't happen again, love." He shakes his head, trying and failing to push down the slightest bit of amusement. "That you can count on."

"Wanna bet?" She says cheekily, scratching at the nape of his neck with her nails gently. It makes a shiver run down his spine, the curl of her lips widens as she feels it.

"You drive me fuckin' insane, you know that?" He mumbles against her lips.

"You love it." Is all she manages to get out before he pulls her in again.

Requests Are Open! Reblog, Like and Comment!

(27/07/2023)

[writing-till-i-am-dead]

Taylyn Oneshot

✨Sapphics✨

The group was having another one of their usual sleepovers. This was now almost an every night occurrence. In a strange way, everyone being together brought comfort to them all after the hellish night they would have just gone through. And tonight was no difference. 

Everyone was panting and gulping nervously, trying to calm down and catch their breaths. 

“Is everyone ok?” Taylor asked. “Anyone need some waters?”

“We’ll be fine..” Tyler said gruffly. 

Taylor glanced over at Ashlyn, who was in the corner and already on her phone. Taylor gave the ginger a worried look and crawled over to her. 

“You ok?” She asked as she sat in front of Ashlyn, sitting on her knees and fidgeting with her hands nervously. Taylor does this a lot around Ash. She’s pretty..

“Ya. Documenting everything that happened tonight, plus any supplies we may need to hide in the morning.”

“Always such a hard worker,” Taylor said with a tired smile. She couldn’t imagine doing all of what Ashlyn did. It worried her. Taylor hoped Ash was taking the time to actually take care of herself. 

“Can’t afford to rest,” Ashlyn said gruffly. 

Taylor gave her an anxious look upon hearing that. “Now Ashlyn, I’m sure we both know that’s not true!”

Taylor looked up from her phone and raised an eyebrow. Her green eyes bore into Taylor’s soul. But she wasn’t complaining. 

Ashlyn set her phone face down on the floor. “What do you want to do, then?”

Taylor felt her face flush. She realized the room had gone quiet. Aiden and Tyler were in the kitchen and Ben and Logan were playing the game sticks on the other side of the room. 

“I..” she stared at the freckled girl. “Maybe, um.. I can do some different hairstyles on you!” Taylor offered. 

Ashlyn tilted her head. “Hairstyles?”

“Ya! I’ve never had any girl friends before. And Tyler’s always had short hair. So, um, I’ve never gotten to play with anyone’s hair before. 

Ashlyn gave Taylor a look that made her feel like she had just recommended the most stupidest of ideas in the history of the universe. 

But, eventually, Ashlyn sighed. “Maybe that would be nice.. help me get my mind off of..” she softly gripped her wrist. In the nightmare world, a phantom had managed to grab Ashlyn’s wrist.

No wonder she’s so stressed Taylor thought. 

Taylor reached into her pajama pants pockets and pulled out a ponytail. 

Ashlyn turned her back to Taylor and Taylor ran her fingertips through the ginger’s long hair. Taylor always admired Ashlyn’s hair. How long it is, how silly it is, how graceful it is.. the complete opposite of her own, always grimy and oily from mechanics club and short, but never looked the way she wanted it to..

She tried out a couple of hairstyles on Ashlyn, the two laughing a bit as they exchanged jokes and secrets.

“Tyler is a moron,” Ashlyn said with a blunt, yet playful tone. “How do you deal with him?”

Taylor laughed. “You kinda have to when he’s your twin!”

Eventually Taylor finished, letting Ashlyn’s hair fall back down to her shoulders like an angel settling its wings. 

Ashlyn’s shoulders had relaxed quite a bit over the 30 minutes the girls had been chatting. She seemed.. happy.. and that made Taylor’s heart do backflips. 

“That was.. kind of fun. Maybe having friends isn’t too bad,” Ashlyn said, making Taylor smile like an idiot. 

“Ya, well, sometimes you’ve just gotta give people a chance!”

Ashlyn turned, the corner of her mouth curved into a slight smile. “Hm.. maybe. Or maybe you’re actually bearable.”

If it were anyone else, this would’ve sounded like a backhanded compliment. But Taylor knew that’s not what Ashlyn meant. In fact, it was rather high praise. 

“Ya, well.. “ she was hand fidgeting again. “I like hanging out with you a lot..”

Ash tilted her head again. Taylor loved when she did that. It was always so cute. 

“You’re really interesting. And your personality.. well, it helps me calm myself down. It’s so quiet and peaceful around you..”

Ashlyn looked rather surprised and Taylor immediately regretting her words. She can’t just go around d saying stuff like that!

She felt her face turn into a cherry and she quickly turned away. “What I’m trying to say is I think you’re really cool and reliable! And I appreciate you immensely for all you do!”

She could still feel Ashlyn’s eyes staring right through her, as if she were an open book. And she probably was. Taylor was so bad at hiding her feelings. She always wore her heart on her sleeve. 

“Taylor..”

Ashlyn’s voice brought her back to reality and she looked up at Ashlyn, who was looking at her like a lioness. Beautiful, proud, and powerful. 

“Yes..?” Taylor whispered. What was this look Ashlyn was giving her? Why did it make her feel like an overheating pipe? Like a robot’s hardwire malfunctioning? Like.. like..

Like a lovesick idiot?

Ashlyn was about to say something before Aiden and Tyler burst back in, Aiden chasing Tyler. “Tickle, tickle, tickle!”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Tyler yelled, throwing a blanket at him. 

Ben and Logan look up in shock and get up to try and separate the two. 

“I..I should go take care of my brother..”

Ashlyn sighed. “Ya. And I’ve gotta get Aiden to calm the fuck down, too.”

Ashlyn got up and went over to scold Aiden. 

Taylor watched her, desperately wishing to call her back. To ask her what she was going to say..

But no words came out. Taylor looked down sadly before getting up to help her brother out. 

She always wondered.. when would it be her day to have a great love story? Or maybe she watches too many romance movies…

Then again, none of those movies were like her. A girl desperately pining for the girl with freckles and red hair and emotionally distant attitude and the cute mannerisms and.. and..

“Taylor, why are you red?” Tyler asked. 

“I think I’m malfunctioning..”

Divider by @cafekitsune

[byechristopher]

loveeed your fwb chris headcanons can you do a confession fic ab it that is all angsty and shit where he’s high and confesses or where reader confesses? whatever you want

I Want More.

– CHRIS STURNIOLO ANGST & FLUFF.

Author's note: thank you so much for the request! I hope you all like it, cuties.🤍 Mwuah. Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol, nothing too much!

"No strings attached, okay? You can hook up with other people if you want, it's none of my business."

"I wouldn't actually mind being with you, you know?"

"Well, yes, I'm just.. relationships are not for me. Sorry."

The words that he said to me when we first started appear in my head every single time he is in my sight. It could be because it hurt so much that I cannot forget, it could also be for the better – because to get hurt is the only way to move on, apparently. Whichever it was, it hurt.

His hand wakes me up from my thoughts when it goes up to my hair, stroking it, "wanna meet tonight?" Chris whispers in my ear, our whole friend group is next to us but he doesn't really seem to care anyway.

"Yes. My house." I nod and he smiles, his hand rubbing up and down my thigh.

And tonight comes. He's all over me, inside me, I kiss him everywhere, he's rough and I love it, I pull his hair, he squeezes me, I scratch his skin, it's messy. One of those nights, that we both need to let it out. Once we're done, he pulls me into a big hug, his hand bringing mine close to his mouth so that he can kiss it.

"You're beautiful." he says and my heart beats a little faster at that. It's amazing; that power that he has on me.

"So are you." I whisper.

He leaves. My hearts shatters.

Another day, we're hanging out again. He's stealing kisses with every chance that he gets, my cheek, my neck, my shoulder. He caresses my thighs under the blanket, he plays with my fingers.

I tell him I want him. I whisper.

"My house, 8PM." he says.

And again, 8PM comes, I'm at his house, he's alone. He takes me by the hand and makes me follow him to his room – he's got candles all over the room, flowers. Is this a dream?

I can't wait, I can't keep my hands to myself. I slowly hug him from behind, kissing from the nape of his neck, all the way down to his lower back, undressing him very slowly. He does the same thing to me too. The night goes on, he's so slow, so gentle, he's filling me with his love and its so overwhelming that I want to cry, he seems overwhelmed too. He whispers sweet nothings in my ear and touches me with ways no one has ever done before. He tells me he loves me. I hold on to him and we both look desperate and filled with love for each other as he makes love to me.

When we're done, the dream is over. He's still holding me, he's still whispering his usual i love you's in my ears but there's something inside me that weighs me down, something that can utterly destroy me, "Chris. I think we need to stop this thing between us." he freezes.

"What? Why?" he whispers.

"I don't feel like doing it anymore, sorry. It's for the better." I try to be as cold as possible, because if I actually say all the things I want to say, I feel like I will scream and cry till my voice is lost.

It's been quite a few days since we last spoke and every time I think about it, the image of him covering himself with his blanket, looking devastated when I left, always comes to mind. I feel bad but I need to be selfish this time.

A call rudely interrupts my thoughts and I sigh – a call? It's 3AM. I check the screen and I see his name. My hearts races.

"Hello?"

"Come outside. I want to see you." he almost slurs. He's either drunk, or high. Or both.

"Go back home, Chris. I wanna sleep."

"I'm not leaving. Please." he sniffles.

I sigh and hang up. I walk towards the door and I stand there for a few seconds, taking a deep breath before opening it.

There he is. With his hoodie and his jeans. His eyes are red and his hair is a mess.

"You'll get cold. Go home." I whisper and he comes closer.

"I don't care. I wanted to be with you." his voice is hoarse.

"Why?" I look at him, hugging myself because shit, it actually is very cold.

"We need to talk." he nods to himself.

"We have nothing to talk about, Chris. You made it very clear that you wanted nothing but sex. I did, too. But I knew I felt something deeper." I say and he comes closer but I stop him, "no. I am talking. You kept messing with my head, making love to me, getting all romantic and shit, bringing flowers everywhere – that's not how friends with benefits are, Chris." I sigh.

He chews on his bottom lip nervously, "I don't know how to do this. I thought you liked how things were." he says.

"I did! But it got too much for me, Chris. I want more. And until you grow a pair and admit to yourself that you are able to fall in love too, that you want this as much as I do, I want nothing to do with you." I clear my throat.

He clenches his jaw and I notice that his eyes are glistening, like he is about to cry, "so is this the end?"

"I suppose so. Yes." I desperately try to gold back my own tears. He nods and turns around. He's not moving just yet but I can't watch him leave again, so I close the door behind him and I feel my world crumbling.

What was I thinking? That I would change him? That he would finally admit that he loves me too? That we would live the dream together? That he would just give me a kiss and tell me that he wants to be with me? How embarrassing.

That's it.

The next day, my heart hurts like a bitch, but I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest for once. Maybe it's because I finally told him how I felt. And maybe because I got an answer, too – he doesn't want to be with me. It hurts, but it's an answer.

A knock on the door wakes me up again and I walk towards it, only to see an envelope. Someone must've pushed it inside. I get a little scared to open the door right away and I don't have a peephole so I just decide to open the envelope.

"I decided that since I have never been able to talk about my feelings, because I'm too much of a fucking coward, I will just write everything down and I will have to find the courage to give it to you.

I don't know why I've got such a problem expressing my feelings like a fucking adult should, but I can't stand the thought of losing you, let alone losing you because of me being a coward. So this letter is for you (I know how much you like all this sappy shit and worst part is, you made me like them too).

I've been in love with you since the day we started "officially" being friends with benefits. You know I couldn't keep my hands off of you, or my eyes. I would get jealous and possessive because you know I never want anyone else to touch you like I do. Or see you like I do. I made love to you because this was the only way to express my love for you – your heart would beat so fast and I would want to cry from how much you filled me with love and passion. Is that normal? I honestly don't know.

Anyways, for an asshole who doesn't know how to speak properly, I think I've written enough. If you think that this letter is me finally growing a pair, then please open the door because it's really fucking cold.

PS – this time my i love you's are changed."

I am ugly crying by the time I finish the letter, but I don't care because I open the door and Chris is outside, crying as well.

"I can't lose you. I promise, I will try for you. I will do anything for you." he whispers.

I quickly throw my arms around him, burying my face in his chest, hugging him so tightly that if I was stronger, he would stop breathing for sure, "I love you, Chris."

"I am in love with you too."

"Your handwriting still sucks."

"Fuck off."

[queeranarchism]

When non-hierarchal decision making breaks down

I already posted this here but I wanted to make it into a post of its own. There are a lot of things that can go wrong in non-hierarchical decision making. This post will be focusing on what coordinators (assigned or informal) can do that can undermine the non-hierachical nature of the group and can put more power in the hands of the coordinator.

Within groups genuinely committed to non-hierarchy, everybody needs to be committed to maintaining a space where it is always socially acceptable to say ‘I think you’re having too much power over this decision making process’ and we all gotta teach each other how to recognize dynamics like that.

Some examples of what to look for:

One person is coordinator for a long time and takes offense at the idea of someone else taking over. Someone taking over would not be seen as a normal rotation of tasks but as a judgement on the coordinator.

Alternatively: a group of close friends rotate key positions and nobody else in the group ever holds a key role.

The coordinator proposes what must be done, instead of letting the group come up with ideas together. The thing the coordinator wants to do ends up being the thing the group decides to do a lot of the time.

Some people talk far more in meetings than others and the coordinator does not take steps to restore the balance and create space for the quieter members to speak.

If the coordinator is sick, the meeting does not happen or no key decisions are made. If anyone else is sick, the meeting carries on as usual.

Meeting dates and times are set by the coordinator alone or by a small group who inform the others.

Access tools such as keys to the meeting space, access to the back account and passwords of the groups email-addresses, website and social media accounts, are not shared with the whole group. 

Important skills, knowledge and networks are not shared. Group members with a less central position can not take over key tasks because they have not been allowed to learn how to do them or build the connections to organize them.

The key decision makers all live in the same house or hang out together a lot, other members find that the plan is already 90% done by the time the actual meeting takes place and they can’t really go in a different direction anymore.

Members that challenge the coordinator(s) are ‘accidentally’ not invited to meetings or meetings are always planned on a day when they have other obligations. 

Meetings in which the coordinator(s) does not get their way are dragged on until members get too tired and agree to the coordinators proposal to get out of the meeting.

Members that challenge the coordinator(s) are told they’d have a bigger part in decision making if they’d do more work, attend more meetings, etc. A few members use the fact that they have a lot of time and a lot of energy to dominate groups and efuse to change their decision making process and meeting schedule to better incorporate members who have a demanding job, or young kids, or who are often low on energy or who can’t travel much, etc. This often ends up putting marginalized people on the side lines, as they often have a lot more stuff on their plate to deal with, and it especially impacts disabled people who can not conform to abled ideas about productivity. At worst, people who can’t keep up with the grueling pace set by the high-energy abled folks face to choice to either burn out or get out.

This is an incomplete list. Feel free to add your own.

None of this means that non-hierarchical decision making can not work. I would argue that it is the only decision making that really works. But we have to keep working at it and recognizing when it's not functioning as intended and we have to be ready to accept the idea that our decision making process needs to be improved upon.

[littlespacereader]

Can I request cg!spiderpunk with spidey! little reader who starts having accidents in littlespace and she's rlly embarrassed cause she's a hero? Thanks! Feel free to ignore!

Heck no I’m not gonna to ignore!! I absolutely LOVE this idea!! This is such a huge issue a Regressor superhero might have! Trying to save the world but what if you need someone to save your world?! What if an accident happens while fighting crime?! I couldn’t love this idea more! So I hope you enjoy this fic! Feel free to send me another idea!!

The Little Spidey

Caregiver! Hobie Brown (Spider-Punk) & Spidey Fem Little! Reader

Tags: an accident, pull-ups, fighting, stuffies, hiding/reveal of regression, sippy cups, stuffie,hurt&comfort

Nicknames: darling, sweet one, love

Alright let’s do this one last time.

My name is Y/N L/N. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for 3 years I’ve been the one and only Spider-Girl.

Thats is, until I realized there’s a whole multiverse full of different Spider people! Recently I became a part of this Spider-verse, which had its ups and downs.

My universe was completely different from everyone else’s, which took some getting used to. In my universe Age Regession was a normal every day thing for people. It wasn’t shamed at or thought of the wrong way.

I’m one of the age regressors in my universe. I regress really young so on missions I usually wear a pull-up, just in case I begin to regress or can’t find a bathroom in time. And trust me, with the long hours of crime fighting, this has come in handy on numerous occasions.

My suit is designed by yours truly. It has a special feature that wearing a bulky pull-up or diaper isn’t shown. It just looks like a normal Spidey suit. I carry a backpack with me at all times with supplies for myself and some extra gear for missions.

Because regression it wasn’t mainstream in most of the other universes, I kept it to myself. That way I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself infront of the other Spideys. There were some universes where regression was just a normal every day thing like mine but those were rare to find, and it was hard to ask incase the answer was no.

After joining, I quickly became friends with Hobie and Pav, my two best friends. The three of us would travel to different universes and kick some butt together! We really worked well as a team!

Pav always strikes me as a Regressor. But I never have the courage to ask him in fear of him asking me if I’m one.

I often visited Earth-50101 to see Pav and spent time in Mumbattan. But I spend most of my time with Hobie in Earth-138 London.

Hobie and I are the closest. He made me feel welcomed the moment I joined the group. Miguel and Jess can be a bit intimidating at times, but Hobie always takes me under his wing.

He makes me feel comfortable and he never lets anyone yell or order me around. He’s a very free spirited freedom fighter. In London I watched his concerts with his band and in my universe we got ice cream together. He’s versatile.He also has the coolest Spidey moves with his guitar! It’s sick!!

He introduced me to Pavitr. Now the three of us hang out all the time! And when we’re not hanging out we’re fighting crime together!

Despite our close friendship I’ve kept my regression hidden from them. When they come over I just hide all my little gear and when we’re out I fight my hardest not to regress.

So with my regression under wraps I continue to fight crime now not only in Queens, NY but in the multiverse as well! Nothing can go wrong!…….Or so I thought.

~~~

Today was my day off, if that’s even possible for a Spidey. I decided today I’m going to regress and relax the rest of the evening. Hobie is practicing with his band, Pav is on a date with his girlfriend and my watch hasn’t gone off with a new mission. So I’m taking a me day.

I ran to my bed room and grabbed the box from underneath. I ripped the box open and grabbed my favorite stuffie and pacifier immediately. Then I had a choice of sippy cup: am I feeling princess or hearts today? Ummmmmmmm…….hearts!

With my things in hand, I walked into the kitchen. As I washed and filled my sippy cup I started to ramble off everything that’s been going on to my stuffie. Gotta let him know all the juice crime fighting details.

Then I made my way to the couch, plopping infront of the tv to watch hours and hours of cartoons. And hours and hours and hours…..

I woke up some time later to the buzzing of my watch. I quickly jumped up and spit my pacifier out before answering.

“Y/N! Where have you been? We been trying to contact you.” Jess aka Spider-Woman yelled at me.

“Sorry I was asleep after a long day. What’s up?”

“We got another anomaly. Suit up we’ll be there soon to pick you up.” And with that the call hung up.

Be there soon?!?!?!

I immediately started to shove everything under my couch or in the couch cushions. Then I ran into my bedroom to get changed fast! I quickly suited up but not without pausing in my bathroom.

I forgot a pull-up, how stupid of me let me just-

Suddenly I heard a portal open in my living room. “Y/N! Where you at?” Hobie yelled out.

I eyed the pull-up and then the door. It’s okay, it probably won’t be a long mission anyway. Just in and out and I’ll be back before I know it. I’m totally not feeling Little in the slightest so I should be fine without protection. Wait who am I lying to?

With that little pep talk I stormed out of my bathroom, grabbing my back pack on the way, and greeted everyone in my living room. There stood Jess and Hobie ready for the next mission.

“How was practice?”

Hobie rolled his eyes, “Don’t get me started! What practice? I was two second from going on when these guys called.”

“Don’t they know you’re trying to be an artist!” I said all dramatically.

He laughed and smirked, “Oh darling don’t you know? I’m already an artist.”

“Come on you two, we got a mission to complete.” Jess redirected.

The three of us set our watches to Earth-3624 and then we took off into the portal.

~~~

The mission is simple, or should I say was simple. There was a Doctor Octopus found in the wrong universe. We were tasked with finding him and sending him to the right Earth. Only problem is he was somewhere in the middle of NYC. So we had all of NYC to find him…just the four of us…looking for one person…in all of NY.

If you’re saying to yourself “Wow that sounds impossible” you’re totally right.

The night began to drag on and on and on. I was exhausted from the constant searching for hours on end. It didn’t help I was also fighting myself from regressing. But as the night dragged on it seemed Doctor Octopus was winning and I was losing.

My regression nagged at me every single moment. All I wanted to do was find a place to curl up, grab my pacifier and take a nap. But I couldn’t! Not now! I had a job to do!

What didn’t help the most was the nagging feeling of needing to go to the bathroom. I know what you’re thinking and you’re right, I should’ve gone before I left. But I was in a rush! I didn’t even know I had to go! Now I’m sitting on the roof squirming every two seconds.

Everything was so frustrating! I’m stuck on some stupid Earth looking for stupid Doctor Octopus in the middle of the stupid night!!…..Okay, maybe my regression was kicking in more than I thought it was.

“Hey,” Hobie swung up onto the roof I was sitting on. “How’s the search going?”

“It’s going.” I said a bit frustrated. “How about you?”

“About the same.” Hobie said, sitting on the edge of the roof next to me.

“I can’t believe they got us working this ridiculous mission. You think Miguel and Jess could just handle this on their own. But noooooo. Instead they pull the two of us in the middle of the night to try and find this wackjob.” I ranted away.

“That’s right Y/N! Stick it to the man! Let that frustration out.” Hobie smirked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I started to squirm in place a bit. I crossed my arms infront of my chest in an effort to mask it.

Hobie eyed me curious but didn’t say anything about it. “I know Jess is searching on the upper east side. I just wanted to join you midtown and make sure you’re doing alright.”

“I’m doing okay. Tired but okay.” I tried to reassure him. But I felt as though he could see right through me. Before he said another word I changed the subject.

“I don’t understand how we’re supposed to find Doc Oct in all of New York.” I said dramatically.

Hobie laughed. “Yeah, what do they expect? Him to come to us?”

The moment those words left Hobie’s mouth we both felt it, our Spidey sense. Of course we jinxed ourselves.

We flipped backward and just out of range for a giant sign that was flying towards us. I landed back on the roof and looked over to an adjacent building. There, standing bold as ever was none other than Doctor Octopus.

“Hello Peters.” He smirked.

Hobie swung over first. “Yeah you’re wrong on both fronts mate.” He swung his guitar at him, landing a nice blow sending the Doctor backwards.

“Once you go against one Spider-Man you go against them all.” He swung his arms again, this time hitting Hobie and sending him backwards.

Now I stepped up, running up, casting my webs and swinging full force towards the doctor. I managed to wrap one of his arms up, but while I did he grabbed me with another. With my leg trapped in his claw, he leaned back and threw me to the roof of a building next to him.

The back of my head hit the ground hard and for a moment I was seeing stars. I was drifting, I wanted to get up and help but my body just wouldn’t let me. I started to fade into darkness for a moment. Both in and out of consciousness.

It was at this time my regression decided to give in. Choosing for itself that it needed to regress more than anything else. What tipped it over the most was the warm feeling I started to feel between my legs. Tears started to fall from my eyes as I realized I was having an accident.

Then came the float gates. My regression wrapped around me like a warm blanket, trying to comfort me in a time of pain and embarrassment. I just want to go home. I don’t want to be here with my wet suit and headache! I just want to go to sleep with my stuffie at home, my pacifier and my pull-up.

I shut my eyes, not wanting more tears to escape. I had to get up, I had keep fighting. What kind of hero would o be if I couldn’t.

“Y/N? Hey! Y/N! Are you okay?” Hobie’s voice echoed in the background. I could hear his footsteps as he ran over to me.

Oh no. Nonononono!

Hobie and I caught eyes the moment I opened mine. He saw everything already. How could I explain the puddle beneath me or the tears streaming down my face?! I’m supposed to be a hero, someone who takes care of others. But I can’t even take care of myself.

There Hobie stood, not disgusting or confused, but worried and concerned about me. “Awwww sweet one-.”

“I’m fine.” I said with a cracking voice. Tears still fell from my eyes as embarrassment filled me.

I tried to sit up fast but he stopped. “Wow wow wow there darling you might have a concussion. Easy does it, easy now.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and helped me to sit up slowly.

He sat beside me, letting me lean on him for support.

I tried my hardest to talk between crying, “ I-I can explain…it just…just-”

“You’re a Little? I figured as much. No need to worry yourself with worries. You’re okay, it’s all okay love. I’ll take care of everything.” He said plain as day.

Maybe it was the concussion. “What?” Was all I managed to say.

“You know, on my Earth everyone knows about regression. It’s more common than you would think. Plenty of Earths know about regression, even if they aren’t as open about as our Earth’s are.” He went on to explain.

“But all of that doesn’t matter right now. Right now we need to get you changed and padded. Then we need to take care of you and your concussion.” Hobie threw his guitar to his back and lifted me bridal style into his arms.

“Wait.” I tried to say.

“What?” He raised an eye brow.

“Don’t we have to get the bad guy?”

“The bad guy? First off, I don’t listen or do what anyone tells me, especially Jess or Miguel. Second off, I already too care of that for us.” He gestured to the roof across from us. There all webbed up stood Doctor Octopus.

“I already phoned Jess who’s on her way to take care of the boring details. I say we get a move on before she starts ask questions we’re not going to answer.” He explained.

After a moment I nodded my head, wrapping my arms around his neck. With the click of his watch Hobie and I were soaring into another portal.

Before I even realized it we were back in my apartment. Hobie walked us into my bathroom, setting me down on the counter top. Then he began to search around.

“Where are your pull-ups at Y/N?” He asked searching under the sink.

To be honest, I was still in shock from this day. Blame it on the concussion but I couldn’t even fathom that this is even happening.

As I watched him raid my bathroom I spoke up, “What are you doing?”

“I just told you I’m looking for your pull-ups.”

“Why?”

“Why?” He stood up and walked back over to me, “Because we need to get you changed before you get a rash or worse.”

I stared at him, still in disbelief. “Why are you doing this for me? How come you don’t think this is weird and why are you being so-.”

He immediately stopped that train of thought by holding my hand in his. “Hey, hey hey. No more worrying about big thoughts okay? Like I said earlier, regression is something I’m familiar with. I’m happy you have an escape from this life as a Spidey. It’s a safe and healthy coping mechanism. I don’t find you or any of this weird. More than anything I want to take care of you.”

“You don’t see me as a weak Spidey because I’m a Little?” I asked, still a bit insecure.

“A weak Spidey?! Hell no!!” He shook his head. “Do you think Pav is a weak Spider-Man?”

I looked at him confused but shook my head no.

“That makes two of us. Pavirt is a Little too. He regresses around the same age as you. Doesn’t matter if you regress, you’re still a Spidey. Don’t get me wrong, I love Pav and I take care of him from time to time when he regresses. But his girlfriend tends to him most the time, I’m just the babysitter. But there’s something special about you. You bring out a side of me that I didn’t know I had.”

He sighed, “I realized early on you were probably a Little, so I kept a careful eye on you. Before you, I was still the cool artist you see before you today. But I was always missing something…something amazing. And I realized that amazing something was you. Without or without your regression. I think you’re truly amazing.”

He leaned forward and took my hand in his, “If you’ll have me, I’d like to take care of you whenever you’re regressed. That way you have someone watching out for you and taking care your needs. I can see you regress pretty young so you’re gonna need a careful eyes watching your trouble maker self.” He smirked.

“So…what do you say?” He asked.

I honestly couldn’t believe my ears. Hobie wants to be my Caregiver?! Also Pav is a Little?!! But mostly, Hobie the “coolest, mysterious, rule breaker” Brown wants to be my Caregiver?!

In disbelief yet happy beyond belief, I smiled and squeezed his hand. “Yes. I’d love for you to be my Caregiver.”

Hobie smirked and squeezed my hand back. “Trust me darling the honor is all mine.”

“But first and foremost let’s get you changed out of that wet suit and into something more comfortable. Now for the final time where are your pull-ups at?” He said dragging the last part out.

“They’re in my backpack.” I shrugged it off and handed it to him.

Hobie took the backpack from me and started to take all the supplies he needs out.

“So you don’t think I’m gross?” I asked, still anxious about the whole accident.

“Nope. You’re a younger Little. Happens all the time. It’s no big deal at all.” He said as if it was nothing. But he’s right, it really is nothing. It’s just an accident. “Alright let’s get you changed darling.”

Hobie helped me take my suit off. He grabbed me a fresh pair of pjs and a new pull-up then proceeded to change me into both.

“There,” he stood back admiring his work. “All nice and cozy!” He picked me up and carried me into the living room. “See? Nothing to worry about. It’s as if it never happened.”

I hugged him tightly in his arms, “Thank you.”

He smirked, “This is just the beginning.”

He carried me over to the couch and set me down. “Hold on, who’s this?” He pulled my stuffie from the couch cushion. “Y/N you didn’t tell me you had a friend over. Introduce to your mate.”

“Hobie this is (your fav stuffie name).” I said introducing the two.

“Pleasure to meet ya.” He said, shaking the stuffies hand. I started giggling.

“Now, I want you resting on this couch. I’m going to get you some juice and a cold compress for your head, okay?”

The moment Hobie left I immediately started to miss him. He’s only been my Caregiver for not even 5 minutes and I’m already so attached to him. Plus he wasn’t even that far! He’s literally just in the kitchen.

Luckily he returned soon, sippy cup of juice in one hand, and a damp towel in the other. “Alright sweet one sit up for a second,” he sat down on the couch and pulled me into his lap. “There we are.”

He laid the towel on my forehead which felt sooooooo nice! He handed me the sippy cup before he grabbed the tv remote. “Alright let’s see what your earth has on the telly.”

I always thought that as Spider-Girl I had to be the one taking care of everyone else, but Hobie made me realized what I needed more than anything was someone to take care of me too.

I haven’t felt safe like this in a long time. Just leaning against him, watching some mindless show on the television and feeling safe and cared for. I curled into his side and rested my head on his shoulder. He leaned forward and placed a kiss to my head.

We stayed like that the whole night, just Little Spidey and Caregiver Spidey.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I didn’t let my friend bring their partner to social events?

We are all in our 30s and all trans/NB/queer. My friend (B) and I have known each other nearly 20 years, and over those years they’ve had a rough dating history. They’ve had several emotionally and mentally abusive or neglectful partners, further details about that I won’t give here. I’ve met most of them and they’ve always disliked me for various reasons (usually they were just jealous of the place I held in their life).

Recently though, B seems to have found someone who makes them happy (we’ll call them T) and T treats them better than their previous partners. Which is great! I’m happy for B. But I find T insufferable.

Granted, I don’t have to see T very often, but when I do its always uncomfortable.

The first time I met T they trauma dumped immediately. In the first half hour I knew all about their horrible family but couldn’t tell you any hobby or interest they had. We were in a very public place and I didn’t feel it was the most appropriate topic to get to know someone, but I tried to relate with my own stories all the same. However, T always had to “one up” every story I told. it felt like a “whose childhood was worse” competition.

The second time we all hung out T ignored me completely, really only hanging around and talking to B. Since it was B’s birthday I didn’t really mind at all. Plus, we were at a beercade so everyone was kinda off doing their own thing. But even when we all sat down they just kinda threw looks my way but didnt say a word to me.

But most recently I had hosted a halloween party (it was only 8 folks so tiny party) where B and T both showed up. When T asked me how work was going I started with what I felt was a normal “Ah yeah, it sucks but—” and before I could say anything else they spoke over me to say

“Yeah you’ve mentioned you hate your job every time I’ve seen you so thats sort of my only impression of you :/ ”

(a possibly important side note: B and T are both doing things that they enjoy but have to hustle a bit to make ends meet whereas I have a full time retail job through which i have insurance so leaving isnt as easy for me since I have more tied up in my job than just a paycheck)

This really pissed me off, as not only is being interrupted a huge pet peeve, but there are aspects of my job I enjoy. I just never got to talk about them because the conversation would either divert or we would just stop talking altogether. Also the way they came across felt pretty judgmental.

T then proceeded to spend the rest of the evening talking about everything from the movie to the snacks with therapy speak and trauma processing. (ex: I think I’m locked into this movie because it might’ve been a safe haven for me during my childhood and I just dont remember watching it but I can feel its importance to me) And only ever to B, never engaging with anyone else.

(another note: they are not the only one at the party with anxiety. two of my other friends have severe social anxiety and while maybe a little awkward were still able to hold casual conversations. no one was a stranger to anyone at the party)

This also meant that I didn’t get to spend any time with B during the party either, which was a shame cause I see them so rarely.

I understand that trauma processing is important and its great if you have someone in your life that can help you. It does not need to happen every where all the time. And I’m worried that B might be getting taken advantage of like they have in the past (in the sense that they have to do all the emotional legwork in the relationship and get very little of that effort back).

I’m tired of catering to this attitude and I don’t enjoy being around them, so I no longer want to involve them in group events I host.

would that make me an asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[abiiors]

secret santa 🎄 // ross macdonald x reader (pt 1 of 2)

twelve days of christmas - day 1

a/n: back in my posting fic era?? this could either be so so good or so horrendous! i am undecided. ps: the band mentioned in this fic is made up cw: very slight angst but that's about it wc: 2k

need to pick secret santa names pls!!!!!!!!!!

that’s matty’s annual reminder text that pings through your phone; every 25th of november at 9 am like clockwork (almost like he schedules it). the exclamation points are generous, excessive even. but you smile and text him back. 

and almost like clockwork, everyone is at his house on the 1st. 

the hang out is like usual—everyone is loud and chaotic and happy. ross makes everyone drinks and he’s generous with the whiskey. matty swears he’s so cold, his fingers are going to fall off. george and charli shoo him away when he tries to cuddle with them and you ultimately take pity on him and share your blanket. 

you laugh till your stomach hurts and giggle at john dancing with polly and take a thousand selfies. and everyone cheers once the jar with everyone’s names is brought out. 

matty stands on the sofa with the blanket wrapped around him like a cape and announces the “commencing of the annual secret santa”. he’s dramatic, he always is, and everyone revels in it. 

you watch him shake the jar and then toss its contents on the coffee table. the folded pieces of paper fall down one by one like falling snowflakes and everyone scrambles for one; one of george’s rings scratches your hand and you accidentally end up stealing a paper from adam but no one cares amidst childlike excitement. everyone holds their chits close to their chest, throws long secretive glances at each other and the room fills with sounds of paper rustling as everyone opens them all at once. 

you don’t. you watch the look on everyone’s face. 

carly smiles wide (so she has adam) and adam frowns slightly (so he does not have carly). george groans but it has an undertone of fondness (matty), charli smirks (either ross or you, reading her is hard) and ross simply shrugs (probably george) before anyone can notice, you unfold the paper and stop the moment the first letter comes into view. 

r… 

one by one the other letters join in and you try and fail to contain your smile. ross! exactly who you wanted, exactly who you were hoping for! 

you spend two whole days tracking it down, the coveted last record of divine connection. you follow every rumour diligently, every single piece of information anyone gives you online until you come across someone who seems trustworthy. someone who knows what they’re talking about. 

it’s important that you get this—the last ever unreleased album from the band that shaped your and ross’ early friendship memories, provided the soundtrack to all those stolen joyrides, all the inside jokes and references that linger between you like a secret language.

it’s important for you to have this, for him to have this—a silent acknowledgement of all the feelings you’ll never confess out loud.

so you stay vigilant. you ask them how they managed to get a copy (they know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy who ran the recording studio where it was recorded) the anonymous seller even agrees to let you listen to the first two songs as a sample. the negotiation takes hours! in the end, you relent. it’s for ross, you don’t care what the price is, you only daydream about the look of utter fucking joy on his face. 

one week later, ross texts in the group chat. 

can we do the draw again? please! there’s someone i want to introduce you to.

jealousy is not in your blood, or so you thought until you see her on his lap, smiling the most radiant smile you’ve ever seen. 

olivia (or liv, which is what she insists everyone calls her) is fucking perfect. there’s no denying it. she’s been here exactly 37 minutes and she’s already won matty over who was previously grumpy about having to redo the draw. and now you sit on one end of the sofa, watching them all laugh at the jokes you laugh at and retell her anecdotes that are supposed to be inside jokes.

a sour taste settles on your tongue like you’ve just sucked on a particularly nasty lime wedge. 

olivia laughs sweetly. 

“thanks for being so nice to me,” she says to everyone, you included, “for including me in the secret santa. i told ross you didn’t have to!”

he waves the comment away like it’s nothing, pecks her cheek even, and the anger in you drains away into a tired sadness. 

liv is his type. not you, never you. you’re the best friend! he’s even said so multiple times. and when her smile lights up his entire face, you can’t help but feel like a bitter cunt. 

“no worries darling! the more the merrier.” you almost scowl at george at that but hide it with a cough at the last minute. 

your phone practically burns in your pocket—a message in particular, the one from the seller, telling you they’re ready to ship it as soon as you confirm payment. it’s unanswered because the fate of it currently hangs in the balance as the minutes tick by. 

for the second time that week, matty brings out the jar of names, and this time they scatter on the coffee table like hail, dumped all at once. you don’t scramble to pick a chit with childlike glee. you don’t bother deciphering the looks on people’s faces. all but two that is! it’s impossible to look away from him when he smiles so sweetly—eyes crinkling and dimples on display. fondness is painfully clear on his face and you know what that paper says. 

next to him, liv’s entire face brightens. 

do you want it or not? i’ve got other buyers lined up mate.

you can feel the sender’s annoyance through the screen. it’s justified though, you’ve practically ghosted them for three days. 

the real question is do you even want it anymore?

you adore matty, the new name on your paper but he has no connection to the band. that’s solely a thing between you and ross, not something you’d be willing to share with matty even tho he’s an occasional listener. logically you know he’d appreciate it solely as a collector. but the thought of anyone else having it apart from ross, even if that someone is matty, burns a hole in your chest. 

and so you text back. 

i still want it. 

and then you send them the money.

the record sits at the bottom of your drawer, taunting you every time you open it to take out a new pair of socks (quite often considering it’s december). and you try to cover it with the book you got for matty (a first edition classic that has faint pencil annotations rumoured to be from the author himself) but your heart quickens at the prospect of any damage to the vinyl—an item currently more valuable than every single thing in your house. 

so that’s how it sits, nestled carefully between thick wollen socks, collecting dust until you decide what to do with it. maybe it’ll make a good birthday present for him. and yet it feels oddly personal now that he has liv in his life. 

it’s a foreign feeling, you realise, strangely hollow and ache-y, to feel like you’re being too personal, too intimate with a man you consider your best friend (perhaps even more so than he’s aware of). 

it’s especially difficult when his invitation sits in your phone unanswered. 

come see the practice show for the uk leg with us.

you want to. so so badly! to watch him be excited and involved and happy with what he’s doing. you especially love the spark in his eyes when he has a new idea, a new trick up his sleeve. to sit there the whole time and watch him in his element might just be the best thing ever. 

so you weigh the pros and cons—it will be like the old times again! liv might be there… but she might not! and even if she is, you can live with it, you can do it. 

and so you text him back and promise to meet up with him in an hour. 

turns out liv is there. 

not only is she there, she’s also involved herself in the process—lending out small ideas here and there, praising someone when she loves a particular detail. you want to be mad at them all for betraying you like this; for becoming so enamoured with her so quickly, despite knowing how childish it sounds. 

it’s not their fault you buried your feelings in so deep that they never even had the chance to guess. 

still, polly’s gaze lingers on you every once in a while, particularly when ross and liv kiss (although you chalk it up to coincidence even when she makes an effort to involve you in the conversation)

“you put so much thought into it!” she compliments while flicking through the selection of dvds that will go into the house eventually. you want to tell her it’s your job, to look throught the films. how you and ross always make a movie night out of it but of course she catches you staring at the stack. 

“wait, ross told me the two of you always end up watching half the films from the stack instead of picking them out!” she giggles slightly and you jolt at the surprise of being addressed so directly out of nowhere. 

“yeah… yeah i guess. it just kind of happens!”

she hums in response. “a friend movie date, that adorable!”

this time ross smiles with her. yeah. a friend movie date. what a fucking oxymoron. and yet you paste a smile onto your face and nod like a malfunctioning robot. 

“it’s really fun, yeah!”

“you should join us next time, babe,” ross chimes in and a pit forms in your stomach. of course he’d want that, for his girlfriend to be there. but the silence that settles over the room is an odd one. and no one speaks of the movies after that. 

liv approaches you when you’re alone, sneaking a tiny cig by the window. 

she tries small talk and it fizzles out within minutes, then she tries empty compliments but it’s clear she’s here with a motive. she’s here to ask you something and so you decide to be direct. 

“can i help you with anything, liv?”

she smiles a sheepish little smile and wrings her hands together. “well… yeah, you guessed it. i’m uh… i need your help.”

that piques your curiosity. what could you possibly help her with? until she glances behind her and vaguely in ross’ direction where he’s busy chatting with jordan and then back at you. 

“don’t tell ross but…i’ve got him for secret santa and i really want to give him something special, you know? i really like him and i don’t just want to give him something super generic just because we’re still getting to know each other. and i thought you’d know since you guys are really close, so i thought…” she takes a deep breath and puffs out her cheeks. “i thought i’d ask you!”

the next time she smiles, it’s a brilliant little thing directed entirely at you and maybe for the first time you really see what ross might like about her. even when you want to laugh at the fucking irony. 

here’s his girlfirend, struggling to find the perfect gift and then here you are, letting the perfect gift collect dust in your sock drawer. 

you look behind her and at ross who quickly averts his gaze from the two of you and back to jordan. his shoulders tense for a split second, followed by an imperceptible shake of his head. this is it, you think. your chance to do something selfless for once. so you smile back at her and make sure it’s at least half genuine this time.  

“you know what, liv? i think i have exactly what you need…”

lemme know what you think <33

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[jacksprostate]

Tyler always liked to pull shit at night. Maybe that's why I went along with it, when he showed up after a month of leaving Paper Street and all its monkeys and me without an owner. Tyler always liked to pull shit at night, so I had become habituated, and when Tyler showed up on a sunny afternoon Sunday with a pickaxe slung long over his shoulder, I didn't interrogate him on where he'd been. Why he left. I didn't want to break the perfect image of his return, and if I'm honest, asking what we were going to be doing as he led me out of the house never crossed my mind.

I usually didn't ask Tyler why we were going to do anything, so maybe that was habituated into me, too.

The reason Tyler came back, I found out, was to tell me I was hopeless. That I was a piece of shit, that I'd never amount to anything, that he had the lowest of expectations and I still couldn't pass muster. He said this as we walked. The voice of my father, all the shit he never outright said.

I told Tyler, What did you expect? You left me.

Maybe I whined it, I don't know. I didn't know what he wanted from me. I still don't.

Tyler said, "I leave for one moment, push baby out the nest, and you crumple. You're a plucked stool-looking pigeon splat on city concrete. You're the roadkill you see on the side of the road, so useless even the vultures ignore you. You regressed."

Where are we going, Tyler? I asked. We were down the road by then, far enough that the space monkeys maintaining the front lawn couldn't see or hear us. I guess Tyler respected me enough to make my discipline private.

Tyler ignored me, as usual, and continued. "I give you one chance to do anything on your own, and you do nothing. You go to work. You go to fight club like it's work, like it's one of your pointless little groups. Like it's hospice. You're so dependent you hang on your own men hoping they'll tell you what to do. I come back and you're wasting away reading Reader's Digest as all the shit I've built for you works its wonders, and you don't even try to join in directing it."

Now, You didn't give me orders, I said. You didn't tell me my part in this, what was I supposed to do?

Tyler rolled his eyes.

"Do you think you're too good for it? You need your own hand delivered invitation?"

No, I said. Spluttering.

"You had your invitation to join. All you needed to do was anything."

Now here we are. In the middle of the street. If I knew I'd failed all his little tests, maybe I would've said no when he showed back up. I want to laugh at the idea of it, but I'm too busy trying to figure out what my punishment will be.

Tyler lets the pickaxe fall. The noise it makes hitting the asphalt clatters between the warehouses. We're past the paper mill now, and the scent of wood shavings and cancer and ass has been replaced by rot and puke. Off of Paper Street lives a processing plant for all the unloved rejects of the supermarket. Recalled, expired, unneeded. Working a place like this, you lose your sense of smell in days. The hairs in your nose fall out and your tongue turns black. Eggs three months old. Fruit like black leather. Baked goods more mold than wheat. They grind it up and feed it down the drains. Sometimes, when there's a storm so big it floods the entire basement, noxious sludge escapes the toilet and sinks at the house. All the colors of the rainbow, consistency somewhere between cottage cheese and blended rotten meat.

For a moment, I stare transfixed as Tyler rolls his shoulders, sweat glistening on them like the first day I ever saw him.

He says, "Take a step back."

I do.

Tyler flips the pickaxe point-down, leverages it into a hole on the manhole cover I'd been standing on, and pulls it out and to the side in one smooth move. Fight club has always been better than the gym.

Looking down, the stench makes the air wave like heat. There's a rusted ladder half broken on the side of the hole. About eight feet down lies everything which should be getting shipped to a biodigester, couched in human shit and vomit and whatever else the processing plant produces.

Suddenly, I realize the disease that's everywhere now may be the least of my concerns. Tyler's hand is on my shoulder.

Tyler says, "Consider it a more direct test of faith."

When Tyler pushes me, it's not that I didn't know it was going to happen. I did. As soon as he opened up the manhole, I knew what was going to happen. I didn't run. I knew I couldn't. I braced myself and fell flat over the hole, and I felt what had to be one of my vertebrae crack. I felt the road eat at my arms and face.

"You think you're shit, you want to rot away," Tyler says. He circles me. I reach out to crawl away, he steps on my hand. "Fine. Rot with everything else."

He kicks at my side. My kidneys. My stomach. My ribs. I'm curling in on myself before I know it, my spine is screaming. I am screaming. I'm curling up, fetal, drooping into oppressive warmth. Back to the womb.

A moment of vertigo, and I've fallen out of the nest for real. Baby bird, splat in the sewers.

I am filth.

I can feel chunks between my fingers.

I fell, and the top of my head ricocheted. I'm used to it ringing. My blood drips in my hair along with something else.

A film is crawling over me. It's hard to breathe. The air hurts. I'm retching, I'm contributing.

I look up, and Tyler is there. Total eclipse of the sun.

He says, "Crawl out yourself. I'm done fixing things for you."

I can't see his face. I'm getting every disease on the planet, and it's a warm sunny day.

He says, "You have all the chances. It's about time you take them."

[strangerquinns]

Deadly Reunion | Chapter 6

Eddie Munson x female!reader // a stranger things apocalypse au

summary: You and Eddie have been best friends since childhood. But when the outbreak happened five years ago, you were torn from one another in the chaos. but now you’re left alone, after your group was killed by another radical crew, leaving you to seek out what was once home. // zombie apocalypse Hawkins set in 1993

warnings: angst + adult themes w/ descriptions of violence, blood, torture + other zombie apocalypse related issues

word count:  3.4k+

⪻ previous chapter | next chapter ⪼ | stranger things masterlist

March 24th, 1988 - Hawkins, Indiana

“How’s everything going out there? I haven’t heard from you in a while,” You spoke into the phone, which was pressed between your shoulder and your ear.

        Your eyes looked out the window and scanned along the slightly busy streets of downtown Hawkins. It was a warmer, sunny day in the small town, the signs of spring and warmer weather showing more and more each day. But even with the town being a little busier than usual, the small bookstore that you worked at was void of any customers. Which didn’t bother you much. Gave more time to clean, read and call Sarah whenever you wanted.

“Everything is going well! Boys are always working late at the studio, so I’ve been left to my own devices on finding stuff to do around here.” Sarah giggled lightly.

“You gettin’ into trouble?” You laughed breathily as you continued to people watch.

“Maybe,” You could hear the smile in Sarah’s voice.

        In the background, you could hear a few voices along with some commotion. Your heart leaped slightly as you heard a deeper, familiar voice in the background. Your body couldn’t help but react and sit up straighter. It was like it was its natural reaction.

        You hadn’t talked to him since the day outside his trailer. They left the weekend after that fight and Eddie never reached back out to you. Not like you did either. You were too hurt and too scared. Eddie had never yelled at you like that, and he had a beautifully sick way of making his words cut deep when he wanted them to. So instead, you let him go. No matter how much it hurt.

        Sarah seemed to pause for a moment and you were thankful. Able to hear his laugh as he joked with whomever else was there. You didn’t miss how your heart raced either.

“Boys are back from the studio,” Sarah spoke after a while.

“How is he?” You asked softly, turning your eyes away from the window. Instead facing the empty bookstore and staring off toward the dark wooden shelves.

Your hand moved up and began to fidget with the red and black pick that hung from your neck. Even after six months, you couldn’t bring yourself to take it off.

Sarah sighed deeply, “He’s…Eddie. I don’t understand why you just don’t talk to him. I can tell he misses you.”

“Yeah, well, he could call as well.”

“He’s a bit of a jackass in that department. His ego won’t let him, even when he knows that he’s wrong.” Sarah scoffed. “Just call him. Ok?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You sighed deeply and felt a heavy sadness come over you. “Be careful ok? News is getting scarier lately with those reports coming in from Russia. That…what was it? Virus?”

“Something like that. You’re sounding like my dad. We’re gonna be ok. But you stay safe too. This shit sounds serious.”

“We will. I love you, Sarah.”

“Awe, I love you too.”

        The two of you hang up and you were left along with your thoughts in the silence of the store. You grabbed the remote sitting beside you and turned the TV you’d muted earlier back up. The News was playing with the same story that had been running all day.

New Virus Outbreak reporting in Russia. 2 New Cases reported in D.C.

“…reporting the spreading of the virus is unknown, but it is acting fast. The two cases reported in Washington D.C. are now in the hospital and under surveillance. Doctors are unable to find a cure at this time.”

“Jesus Christ…” You muttered, just as a customer walked through the door.

        The rest of your day was uneventful if only filled with the news and sitting by as customers came in and out of the store. Once you were locked up and closed, you headed back home. The town was silent as night fell over it, the sunshine from before now replaced with darkness and chilly air. The lights of your living room were on, and the curtains opened, allowing the yellow glow to spill over into the front lawn. You saw the shape of your mother as she seemed to be pacing through the home.

        When you walked into the home you could hear the sounds of the radio playing in the kitchen, from what was being said, it was a news broadcast.

“…new cases now popping up in New York, Detroit, Atlanta, and Los Angeles. Reported 1,000 reported dead nationwide and more coming in on the hour…”

“Oh, thank god, you’re home.” Your mother spoke, rushing toward you slightly with a worried and frantic look in her eyes. She was trying to cover it with a shaky smile. But it wasn’t working.

        It was then you noticed the bags and suitcases piled in the doorway of the living room. Your brows pinched together in confusion as you tried to figure out what was going on.

“W-We going on a trip I forgot about?” You asked.

“Baby, I need you to go upstairs and pack essentials.” Your mother spoke frantically, the mask she tried to have on slipping quickly. “We need to get out of here.”

“Get out? Why?”

“Cause I’m not sitting here like a waiting duck for shit to hit the fan,” Your mother pushed you lightly toward the stairs as she spoke. “The hospital was a mess today with worries of this new virus spreading, and it’s only a matter of time before it hits us. We’re too close to the city for it not to. And we’re not gonna be here when it happens.” You stood there and stared at her like she was crazy, “Go! Now!”

        You gasped lightly awake as you heard the door opening to the room you were being kept in. You weren’t sure how much time had passed since it was a windowless room. But with the stomach pains you were having from the lack of food, it had to have been a long time. You sprang up quickly at the sound of the door but paused only for a second when Eddie came into view.

        He was cleaned up and showered it seemed from the last time you saw him. His curls appeared to be only slightly damp as they hung around his face and down along his shoulders. Stubble decorated his jawline and cheeks, something you hadn’t really seen him with before.

Eddie’s lips tugged up with a wary smile as he moved to stand in the doorway. Even in an apocalypse, it seemed Eddie was still himself. Black jeans with a chain hanging from two of the loops on his belt, black tshirt with the sleeves torn off and frayed at the edges. With the sleeves gone, you were able to see more tattoos decorating his arms, arms that were bigger. You didn’t miss the definition in his arms as he moved to cross them at his chest.

“Joyce said you were asking for me?”

        You just sat there pressed against the wall of the bed with your eyes looking at him wearily. It was then that it hit you, though you knew Eddie all your life. This person in front of you was a stranger.

        Eddie's brows pulled together tightly for a moment as he looked at you. Noticing how stiff you were along with the widened fear in your eyes as you looked at him. He relaxed a little more and rose his hands up so you’d be able to see, before sidestepping into the room slowly.

“I don’t have anything on me…promise,” Eddie spoke slowly as he moved toward the seat at the corner of the room. “…just wanted to come and make sure you were ok.”

“I-I’m fine…” You spoke, your eyes never leaving his. “…she tell you I’m cleared…not Flayed?”

Eddie nodded “Yeah, though I believed you when you said. Don’t think that would be something that you’d lie about.”

        You nodded your head and relaxed slightly as you moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Eddie took that chance to grab the chair and move it closer to you.

“Said they were bringing me food…” You looked around for evidence of anything being brought down when you were asleep.

“And I’m sure they still are,” Eddie nodded and leaned forward on his knees. “How are you feeling?”

“I-I don’t know…I feel like I’m dreaming…didn’t think I was gonna make it back here,” You spoke “Or see you, for that matter.”

        Flashes of the last words he spoke to you came through your mind. But a part of you didn’t care. Not anymore, not after all this time.

        Not after so much loss.

“I didn’t think I was ever gonna see you again either, sweetheart.” Eddie chuckled, almost like he himself couldn’t believe you were sitting in front of him. “Felt like I was lookin’ at a ghost.”

        A silence fell over the two of you. No one knows what to say to the other. No one wants to say the wrong thing.

        But after a few long, awkward pauses, you were the first to speak.

“Is Sarah here?” You asked, Eddie’s head popping up and his dark eyes widening slightly. “I figured if you’re here, that she would’ve come back too. And Gareth? Jeff?”

“Uh…shit…” Eddie reached a hand up and rubbed his hand along his jawline. “…can’t be shocked Hopper didn’t say anything.”

        A hardened sickening feeling dropped into your stomach as you watched him. A cold chill rolled through your body as your eyes watered quickly with the familiar burning in your eyes.

“…no, no…” You shook your head and dropped your face into your hands.

“Fuck…” Eddie spoke and quickly abandoned the chair he was sitting in to move toward you. His arm came around your shoulder and your body began to shake as you cried. “…she came back with us, that much is true. She…She was killed… a few weeks ago by some raiders on a run.”

        Weeks. It had been weeks. It hit hard in your chest to know you’d missed seeing her within weeks. Somehow that made it worse. Like if only you had left earlier then you would’ve gotten to say goodbye. Eddie kept his arms around you as you quietly cried. You turned toward him more at one point finding comfort in him. Once the tears stopped, you pulled away and wiped at your face. You sat there for a few minutes and let this new thing add itself to the grief that was already settled in your body.

“…at least she got to come back,” You spoke after a moment, trying to find a semblance of happiness in the dark truth.

“She did. Sarah helped get this place together with her dad, make a haven for people that didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

        Eddie decided to swallow down the fact that it was his fault, at least to himself, that Sarah was gone. Scared if you knew the whole story you’d only confirm his guilt more.

Also kept it down that he and Sarah were together the last few years.

“ Sadly Jeff didn’t make it out of LA. We joined a caravan group to get back to Hawkins. One night a hoard of Flayed came through, he was protecting Sarah when one got him.” Eddie frowned “She wasn’t…really the same after that.”

“Fuck,” You cursed low under your breath. “And Gareth?”

“Upstairs somewhere,” Eddie spoke with a slight smile. “He helps in the med clinic wing. Likes being able to help people. He knows you’re back and is a little anxious to see you.”

“Oh, good. Good. Fuck, thought maybe everyone…” You shook your head, “I can’t believe Sarah…goddamn it.”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” Eddie moved and rubbed your back gently.

Eddie let you sit there in silence again for a long moment. Someone came down and slid a tray through the door for you. He had to stop himself from laughing at how fast you moved toward it. You’d snatched it off the floor and barely made it to the small table before you were shoving the food into your mouth. You’d fisted the burger between your hands and took a bite, moaning at the taste of a real meal. The sound of laughing drew your attention back to the man you’d left sitting on your bed. You glared at him as he sat there and chuckled at you.

“What are you laughing at? Hmm?” You spoke, words muffled by the half bitten food in your mouth.

“Nothing,” Eddie chuckled slightly. “Just funny…how something doesn’t change.”

You rolled your eyes and moved the chair he’d taken back toward the table. You continued to eat in silence and soon your stomach ached from too much food, not used to a full meal.

“Been a long time since I’d eaten anything outside of canned fruits and vegetables and jerky.” You sighed and reached back against the seat, pushing the tray away from you.

Eddie frowned, “How long?” You looked over at him with a slightly confused look. “How long were you on your own?”

“A while, I told you.” You spoke.

Eddie whispered your name softly, but you’d heard it. “Come on, I just…I just wanna know. I thought you were dead this entire time.”

“Did you look for me?” You asked, not able to look at him as you asked the question. “Did you care? Was I one of the first people on your mind when you crossed into town.”

        Your tone is void of emotion. It was stiff and cold as you sat there with your back facing him more. Eddie hated that he couldn’t get a read on you. Moments ago, you were crying into his shoulder and now you were treating him like a stranger again. Deep down he understood why. Things weren’t the same as they used to and the last time he’d seen you weren’t a happy one. A moment that had been haunting him for the past six or so years.

“Of course, you were on my mind. The whole reason we came back was to make sure the people we loved were ok.” Eddie spoke, conveying his words with conviction in his tone. “LA was one of the first cities to go, and I knew we’d be fucked if we were there for long. It took us months to get here but you were on my mind the entire time. I couldn’t call and make sure that you were alive. And when we got here…after seeing Wayne was safe, your house was the next one after…and seeing…and…”

        Eddie felt his throat tighten at the memory of coming across your house for the first time.

        The streets were quiet as he traveled down the street with Gareth beside him. Most of the town had been cleared out for any of the Flayed, but that didn’t mean they weren’t vigilant. Wayne had taken them to the small camp that had formed right outside of town and that’s where they were settled after their long travel from California. But being back in Hawkins didn’t give Eddie the kind of hope and safety that he was hoping for. Not when he searched through the camp and didn’t see a sign of you.

“No one’s seen or heard from them since everything happened,” Wayne spoke with heavy sadness. “Chief and I went there, and it was crawling with some of those that fell sick. She wasn’t there, son.”

        Eddie wasn’t just gonna take his Uncle’s word for it, sadly, he needed to see for himself. He and Gareth stepped over the bodies of the dead – both Flayed and Civilian. It brought sickness to his stomach, and it was never something one could get used to. Seeing the decrepit blackened bodies of those that were infected.

“Shit,” Gareth spoke as your family home finally came into view.

        The front window was broken and smashed with some of the sidings starting to fall apart. It had been almost a year since the first day the virus hit the states and slowly overtook everything. It took only four days for the entire country, and the world, to fall apart. And in the year since, nature was slowly taking back what was once hers. Homes were falling apart from lack of maintenance. Lawns were overgrown with weeds and tall grass. Cracks showing more and more on the streets and sidewalks. Your family home was no different.

        A hole had caved in at the roof, and part of it caved back into the home. His eyes traveled up to your bedroom window and saw as the wind caused the lace curtains through the opened window. Eddie moved quickly up the lawn no longer vigilant to any danger. He didn’t care. He needed to know if you were ok. Even though he logically knew you weren’t here.

        The front door was propped open, either from looters or from when you left, he wasn’t sure. The floor creaked loudly as Eddie walked through the front doors. Since the front window was smashed in, bits of nature were slowly starting to grow into the home. Sprouts of grass, plants, and mold finding purchase in the rugs, couches, and walls.

        Eddie slowly walked toward and saw that some of your family photos sat on the wall. He grabbed a small frame that held your high school graduation photo. Eddie didn’t hesitate to pocket it and toss it into one of the pockets of his bag. From behind him, Eddie heard Gareth walk in through the front door.

“Looks like they up and left,” He spoke, looking around and seeing everything was ripped apart. Drawers opened with the contents spilled out and scattered on the floor.

“Or someone came in here after a while and noticed no one was coming back.” Eddie sighed, “You know how fucking desperate people became lookin’ for supplies.”

Gareth nodded his head and sighed, “I know. I don’t think you’re gonna find what you’re lookin’ for man. She's obviously gone.”

        Eddie ignored him and headed toward the stairs that would take him to the second floor. Some of the stairs were caved and broken, so he had to skip up a few to make it. When he got to the hallway, the only sign it’s been a while since anyone had been there was the dust sitting on top of tables and along the railing. Slowly, almost as if he was scared, Eddie walked toward your bedroom. The door was closed.

        And as he approached the door, a part of him felt like he was invading your privacy. Like he was gonna crack open a mausoleum and disturb the dead. But after a few silent moments, his hand encased around the door knob before stepping inside. The room smelled of mold when he walked in, thanks to the open window. It looked like the first floor he’d seen. Posters still decorated the wall, though some sun damaged and ruined from the mold. It still brought a smile to his face. The bed was still made, the hamper filled with dirty clothes, and a book sat on your bedside table. He felt a hit to his chest when he saw the faded title, The Hobbit.

        Eddie sat down on the bed and just sat there in silence. Needing to feel he was surrounded by you in some way. Seeing how your bedroom was left was what he needed to believe. Believe that you were gone. Believe he was most likely never seeing you again. Believe that you simply weren’t just hiding away from him. The feelings and hope he held onto to get back to Hawkins finally cracked and took over his body as it turned to an acidic sadness.

        He crumbled as the tears moved down his cheeks and mourned you.

 “You went to my house?” You asked, finally turning to face him. “After all everyone told you?”

“I didn’t believe them,” Eddie spoke tensely. “I also needed to see for myself…I-I couldn’t…I didn’t wanna think of the possibilities that everyone was lying.”

“Why would you think they’d lie about that?” You asked.

“Because of how we left things. I thought you hated me…I-I thought you’d never wanna see me again.”

A deep frown formed on your lips, “Guess I proved you wrong on that, huh.”

“Guess you did,” Eddie nodded.

“So now what?” You asked after another long moment.

“I don’t know. But I do know one thing, I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again.” Eddie spoke firmly.  

reblog + like if you enjoyed

So, more Eddie and Reader like some of ya'll wanted. I hope you liked it! Getting more into how the outbreak happened and Eddie coming back to see Reader was gone. Please let me know your thoughts. I love the comments/replies you guys leave please keep 'em coming! They are an inspiration.

Also trying tagging again - if the list isn't there read this. It explains why.

[osarina]

I JUST GOT AROUND TO READING I, CARRION AND UGH!!

“there’s a lecherous smile on Albatross’s face as he leans against the frame and looks at you, glasses hanging off the bridge of his nose. ‘Damn, if you weren’t the boss’s girl…’” awww stop it you’ll make me blush

THE SCENE W DAZAI FINDING US NOT READY YET “It’s not silly if it has you upset,” kisses on the nape of the neck and then kissing our ankles & buckling our heels >>>>>> “I’m sorry that I’m not a good enough man to do what’s right and let you go.” hey so what if i started violently sobbing. “but if fate brought us together, then far be it from me to deny the one thing in this world that has ever made me happy.” HEY SO WHAT IF I STARTED VIOLENTLY SOBBING.

“Still, he wants to gouge their eyes out.” if my man doesn’t want to gouge out people’s eyes just for looking at me, i don’t want him ‼️‼️

“My, Dazai, possessive, aren’t you?” “Very,” Dazai agrees idly. “Be sure to remember that.” bringing his hand up from your waist to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip as he murmurs, “That’s my girl, always so smart.” blushing giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair

“Fyodor Dostoevsky. A pleasure, truly.” oh no. oh no no no no no. that’s not good.

one more thing, i noticed that you kinda like made up your own characters (which was super cool and really creative btw!!) could you explain how/why you chose the specific authors you did? and i’m assuming you got their group names from something they wrote, any reason you chose those works in particular? (these are the ones i’m talking about: Mishima Yukio of the Sun and Steel, Nabokov’s Pale Flame, Leo Tolstoy’s Three Deaths, Cao Xueqin of the Red Chamber, Kitazawa Michihiro of Fuji Electric)

ty for listening to my ramblings once again ily !!

TUMBLR USER PE4RL-DIVER UGHHHHHH I LOVE YOU WHENEVER I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS IM SO HEART EYES

albatross is truly her no1 fan in this fic and she adores him <3 dazai is so not unsubtly jealous of him whenever she talks to him. gets all side eyed and irritated and then has to hide it whenever she looks at him LOLLLLL meanwhile albatross is just pleased that dazai is no longer an emotionless brick wall with a quick trigger finger

WHEN I TELL U THAT SCENE WAS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE EVER i actually struggled so much writing it not because it was hard to write just because i was yearning so terrible for him LOLLLLL HAHAHAH

</33333 we all need our own beastzai truly life is so unfair he's so perfect

OMGGGGGGGG actually thats my favorite part of writing series/long one shots. i adore being able to build up new characters and organizations. usually i pull them just from some of my favorite authors/works (i cheated with the one electric company its actually just a real company because i got lazy) BUTTTTT mishima is obviously my go to just because there's lowkey already been reference to him and his works in the series but no mention of him, so he's my favorite to build and explore. and then i dont know why but i always have the russian underground divided by three (tolstoy, dostoevsky, nabokov) and usually in a constant territory struggle. of the two ive built up, nabokov is usually the one i use the most because ive hced that he worked with the previous boss pretty often before things went to shit. but i've actually built tolstoy's organization more than his - the three deaths is led by a triumvirate of tolstoy, gorky, and cheknov who were all contemporaries and had were associated with each other. and actually fun fact, i plan on doing a fic with a reader who takes the place of cheknov as one of the three deaths so we're going to see more from them. cao xueqin wrote one of the 4 great classical novels of chinese literature. my fyozai fic i've also built a new organization for - they're based in italy and are in constant conflict with the clocktower, but i don't wanna give anything away because u shall see when i finally post that

maybe one day ill do a whole little page for the organizations ive built & their references in my fics for u guys to look at if ur interested!!