#but there aren't too many of those anyway

[drbased]

Does it ever make you ever feel depressed that men have more variation in IQ? That means even though there will always be more male idiots, there will also be more male geniuses. So women can excel in any field, but a man will almost always be the "best" in it. It just makes me feel inferior every time I think about it, way more than strength difference does. Not only that, but they also have higher variation in all types of brain structure. That would mean men are naturally more diverse, personality-wise.

Sometimes I get into these negative thought processes about stupid shit and it totally consumes me. This is my latest one... Please help

Hmm.

Well firstly, IQ is a completely fake concept designed specifically for eugenicist purposes. You can train for an IQ test, your score can change depending on the day, and your score doesn’t mean anything apart from how good you are at IQ tests. It’s not a measure of intelligence, and ‘intelligence’ isn’t real anyway - as in, there is no such quality of uniform intelligence. I think it stands to reason that the highest IQ scores will be from men, because the tests are constructed around a fundamentally male world-view and value system as well as a white one. And that is what depresses me more - that ‘intelligence’ is viewed as some innate quality that only oppressors can possess so they can prove that they deserve their place in a meritocracy. It’s like that controversy about men winning more at Jeopardy than women - the world is structured around male interests and values, so men achieve in mainstream contests and use that to retroactively justify the legitimacy of those values and interests in the culture.

I’m less interested in the concept of a man beating a woman at certain activities because of him being smarter than her, than I am about him beating her because he's socialised from a young age into enjoying and valuing those activities - but also often regardless of his actual performance, he's also by default assumed to be better and more competent than her purely because he's a man. Take for example that study where when they did blind auditions for orchestras, men still got in more than women, but when they put carpeting down so women's heels couldn't be heard, there was finally a more equal ratio of women getting in. Or those studies where identical CVs given out and names that are typical of women, black people etc. get seen as less competent than those with male and white names.

We don't live in a world where we can objectively measure men's 'natural' abilities at anything psychological. But we do live in a world where we know that women's skills are massively undervalued - women have all sorts of intelligences that make the world run round; we're excellent negotiators, we're less violent, we're great at remembering, we have greater compassion, we make good leaders, we are more responsible, we have greater tact, we are safer in the workplace, we're more conscious of social issues and the environment, etc. etc. And none of what we have is seen as 'intelligence'; in fact, quite the opposite - many of our intelligences are dismissed outright as sentimentality and pearl-clutching.

Once again, though, I don't believe these traits are uniform across all women, or that they're 'natural' to us, just as men's traits aren't 'natural' to them. In the nature-nurture debate, there are too many factors in nurture that can't be realistically measured - and I have a suspicion that for many, feminists included, simply saying that men and women naturally possess certain traits is an easier narrative to swallow, because for many women the fear exists that if men can be socialised to be better, then dismissing them as evil would be morally wrong. But I don't think people need to be intrinsically, ontologically evil for us to dismiss them as oppressors - I simply judge by behaviour, which is more measurable.

Going back to intelligence, I think it's also worth saying here that women are socialised into not recognised or appreciating our skills, and to partake in behaviours that psychologically hobble us. Take for example in that orchestra study - under a feminist lens, wearing heels is a form of hobbling that's both literal and psychological. The woman is performing a feminine ritual, wearing a physically debilitating item that submissively marks her as a woman. Not to say that she would be respected more if she was gnc, but I find it interesting how women accidentally lost their spot on the orchestra in the study because their performative clothing made them noisier and easier to recognise as women. And on top of that, we have stereotype threat - there was a study done where men and women were performing some sort of test, and in one half they were in normal clothes, and the second they were in swimwear. In the second one, women performed more poorly than they did in the first, and men saw no change. Once again, we have two inexorably interlinked factors at play, here - women's swimwear is not built for utility but rather to be sexy, and women's bodies are considered inherently sexual; that's not to say that if women were wearing men's swimwear they'd do better at the test, but rather women are socialised to be self-conscious of themselves but also expected to show more skin - we're expected to dumb ourselves down in the name of being sexy.

The upside in all of this is that the moment you recognise that these things aren't set in stone, and rather that these are all skills you can develop if you gain confidence in yourself, you develop a robust sense of self that you can be comfortable and happy with regardless of external measure of male-approved success. I, for example, found confidence in myself and my writing, and now I'm finding success and getting praise online by women on tumblr. It seems you're best finding yourself environments surrounded by other women, especially feminist-minded women who are consciously choosing to fight against established biases by valuing the skills of women that are undervalued by society. Devaluing male interests and achievements in your own head is something you can also do, and I once again recommend feminist spaces as an excellent opportunity to de-program (obligatory plug for my side blog @learningwomanhood where I do exactly that).

For me, the biggest wisdom to be gained from feminism is the psychological distancing yourself from male thought - the more things you reject that you once unthinkingly believed to be normal, the more you feel that you can truly be human, vibrant, unconstrained; and the more silly the whole enterprise of patriarchy looks. It's not nice that rejecting patriarchy means rejecting mainstream society, but the older you get the more you realise that you simply can't dwell on these things and instead have to do what benefits you within it; nobody is owed a perfect existence, and once you realise that you have to choose a life for yourself and choose to be happy with that, your life will be much more comfortable. In the end, life is all about the gestures of love you make to yourself and others. When you realise that it's your job to be your own best friend, you can carry that energy with you your whole life; you will be inpenetrable because all that matters to you, no matter what situation you're going through or what hell you're in, is that you made decisions that showed love to yourself. That could be considered a form of intelligence - perhaps wisdom itself is a form of intelligence that is devalued specifically because it's female-coded. But wisdom sounds like nothing until you internalise it - all the language in the world can't seem to really get to its essence until something inside you clicks and you understand it.

One thing I would like to say is that those negative thought processes you have are not stupid: they are a valuable part of your processing of the world and are worth attention. We have this cultural idea that with regards to mental health, the parts of us that are 'real' and 'valid' and 'truly us' are all the good parts, and the negative thought processes and patterns of behaviour are like cancerous tumours that need to be artifically removed. One of the best things I ever did for myself is to take myself seriously - because that's my prerogative, as myself and my own best friend. The only thing 'bad' thing about those thought processes is that they cause you distress; that's it. So, then, it's up to you to decide how much you want to indulge in them. I find the best way to really tackle unpleasant behavioural patterns is to simply do them shamelessly, because clearly a part of you wants to do them anyway; one of the first ways I got out of my depressive spirals was to decide that I was going to do all the depressive actions (stay in bed, eat junk food etc.) but simply embrace that those are things I want to do and not feel guilty or sad about it. That way, the depression hasn't consumed me and instead I have made a choice - I have reformed my relationship with myself as an active agent and a made a choice to show love for myself through the gesture of taking my desires seriously, not dismissing them as 'mentally ill'. I could go on but the point is that all of your head is necessarily you - as in, it doesn't come from anywhere else but you, and therefore all of it should be respected and valued. Mainstream society won't tell you that - there's always supposed to be a limit, there's always something that's 'unhealthy' in some sort of metaphysical sense, there's always a part of you that's supposed to be beholden to some external standard, that keeps you feeling insecure and needing validation. But there is no true objective measure of a healthy mind; the only thing that matters is if you're comfortable with yourself, and you can always make gestures of love to yourself regardless of your situation.

[mourningmogaicrew]

how do you relate to the trans community outside of mogai circles? do you see yourself as having much in common with trans people who don’t use mogai labels, are you friends with other trans people who move in different circles, do you read about trans topics?

All of my trans friends are people in know in real life, and most of them have don't use MOGAI terms or we've never discussed it. I have a ton in common with all of them!

Some use microlabels (a-spec labels, xenogenders, neogenders etc) and a couple use neopronouns. Most have ""more normal"" pronouns and gender labels. But I use 3 sets of neopronouns irl with they/them as an auxiliary, so I don’t make friends with exclusionists.

I’m on the board of a queer club and I read a ton about queer news/theory/history/etc. This year I actually was part of a presentation on gender, which was cool. So yeah I consider myself not that active in the MOGAI community (this account is pretty inactive and I have no mutuals) but I have other queer accounts online and lots of queer stuff going on irl.

I think I have a lot in common with most other trans people (being trans, trying to transition, discrimination, etc). The only people in the trans community I truly feel like I can't relate too that much are transmedicalists and even then I can still kind of relate because I used to be one many years ago 😧. I also can't relate to rich people.

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

The Water Outlaws

fantasy inspired by a wuxia classic

a woman who’s an expert arms instructor is labelled a criminal after being assaulted by a powerful man

she joins a group of rebellious bandits who fight for justice, and becomes entangled in politics both with the group and the empire - who are trying to develop powerful magical weapons

mainly queer & female cast

[martianbugsbunny]

Love how Episode 5 felt like Clone Wars not just because it was magical and psychological and everyone was being their slay-ass Clone Wars selves but also because of the emotional damage I missed that

[lrdvyke]

in going with the hivemind idea for the frenzied flame, that would mean vyke's thoughts, feelings, and dreams are all shared with those who have the frenzy flame in them and vice versa. anger will come to him when he's not angry, only to make him think it's now his anger, etc ( example from kale ). dreaming / possibility of having a difficult time sleeping. will say, joining that with my idea of the evergaol's cutting off people from outer god influences ( reason why vyke uses dragon incants in there and not frenzied flame ) then he may have felt at least some kind of small peace in there because, if cut off from the outer god of chaos, he would then be cut off from everyone else afflicted with the frenzied flame. so escaped vyke, upon leaving, all that would be slammed back into him the moment he leaves the evergaol. however, if going with a specific ending that is more neutral ( like ranni's ending ) then there is a chance that effect would dwindle as the afflicted die off.

[rillette]

What do you think happened to Charlie during Emerald Twilight? Did he know what was going on or did his ring just suddenly not work while he's on some strange planet and now no way to get off, for like. Years.

oh theres actually an issue of quarterly (#3) that tells us what happened when the battery was destroyed the first time!! he was on a planet (Hwagaagaa) trying to stop an invading military force from taking over and he ignored the call to assemble bc he was busy, and then his ring cut out and he was stranded in the middle of a warzone with literally nothing, so he ran for his life and hid until some farmers found him and then bc gerard jones is gerard jones, charlie somehow teaches the farmers to become a fearsome military through the power of acting even though charlie is, lovingly, a bitch and a pussy. anyways these panels are interesting to me bc if you squint and ignore the author you can pretend that the subtext here is that charlie became an actor because he's running from himself and he wants to be someone better than he actually is but he chooses the escapism route instead of self-improvement which adds a layer to his alcoholism and dead brother guilt backstory

and this is where his bandanna comes from! its more of a cape but im ignoring that godbless

anyways they eventually repel the invaders through a war of attrition (the invaders go this sucks idc anymore and leave), and charlie roams around the planet teaching people about the wonders of Shakespeare. and then somehow he joins the darkstars so i guess he either got off planet somehow or john swung by and rescued him. and then he dies 👍

[spacedkey]

the eternal struggle of reading webcomics/manga/manh(w/u)a that i think are really good but have cringe ass titles so i can't recommend them without someone doubting my sensibilities and taste in stories

[cosmics-beings]

starscream is the type of bot to say he doesn't like kids or want sparklings just to keep an appearance. but deep down inside that has always been one of his biggest desires. He's just always afraid of the type of parent he'd be. But in reality, Starscream is actually a very good parent when he finally has his own sparklings (well adopts/takes in first. i first hc that he takes in sparklings but then he ends up having his own), which is something that shocks everyone around him.

he may be awful at other things but when it comes to parenting it is somewhat natural to him - at least he thinks.

[ladsofsorrow24]

love how studio orange made vash go super saiyan mode to explain him getting the trimax hairstyle lmao

[leatherbookmark]

an interesting thing abt jgy antis is like. where is the source of their, shall we say, negative opinion of jgy? like, 1. jgy is a villain, he does horrible things with no remorse, he’s willing to do everything to achieve his selfish, egotistical goals. --> 2. the source of this claim: this, this and this scene. --> 3. alright, but to me -- says someone who’s not an anti -- this reads differently. that he did all those things, and did them on purpose and without remorse, is not that obvious to me. why do you think that? --> 4. well, obviously because he’s a villain and does horrible things with no remorse.

like... he’s evil because he does bad things, and he does bad things because he’s evil. i’m interested in how antis came by those opinions, but a, unfortunately i have them all blocked, and b, even if i or someone else made a poll, it wouldn’t be authentic because no sane anti is going to say “well, people hated him and wrote all those things about him on twt, so i started hating him as well”, or “i only care about wgxn, you could sell me anything about other characters if your arguments were convincing enough because i zoned out during the parts when wgxn weren’t on screen/pages of the book”. it’s all “written in the book/shown in the show” and “logical arguments you’d agree with if only you could read”.

[thyandrawrites]

Just had a weird thought

You know how fic writers often don't have tumblr accounts that match their ao3 pseud... So a lot of the time they fly under the radar on here unless they link their socials in the fic notes.

Well. It just occurred to me that some of my fave writers might be following me / have followed me and I might as well never know. What if we interacted?? There are so many anons who send me excellent food for thought at times. And I guess it only now hit me that some might be fic writers incognito. I don't think my brain was ready for that Revelation

[thebicanary]

.

[lovelaceisntdead]

I want to be sleeping but unfortunately my brain is a hell place and will not allow me to rest.

[nostalgia-tblr]

Thor: Ragnarok could instead have been a sit-com about the Asgardian monarchy where Thor is due to inherit the throne and Loki has to murder him to get the job instead and Hela has to murder both of her brothers (because sexism, boo) and everyone's running about pretending to be Wholesome Siblings but fratricide of some sort is very much on the agenda and Thor's lightning powers are all that's keeping him alive at this point (because his siblings are ambitious and talented and own many sharp objects!) and I don't know how all that Jeff Goldblum stuff fits in, maybe it just doesn't, but anyway some sort of comedy hijinx ensue and it's a lovely heartwarming film/series about how your real family are the people you choose as allies while you murder your way to the throne and who you're gonna have to get rid of ASAP once you finally manage that because they know where you were on the night your older brother(s) were mysteriously stabbed by unknown assailants and how your dad really died.

[jankwritten]

first psychiatry appointment done. feeling....weird about it.

(venting in the tags. cw for what might be transphobia but i'm not entirely sure lmao)

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

♾ 🥺❤️

😊💗💗💗

I put my mp3 player on shuffle and this is what it came up with: “All Through the Night” by Cyndi Lauper

“Keep with me forward all through the night/And once we start, the meter clicks/And it goes running all through the night/Until it ends, there is no end”