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#but there was a time 2 years back when i was so fucking happy to go to schl
hanniebaeee · 19 hours
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Back seat
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Lee Know x fem!reader x Bang Chan
Warnings: SMUT MDNI
Genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, smut
Summary: Your best friends, Chan and Minho are fighting, and you find out why. And it leads to some very interesting back seat fun.
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It was later than you throught it would be, and the rain pounded relentlessly on the windshield. Minho's face was scrunched with focus as he drove through the rain.
You sat comfortably in the back, your eyes traveling between the two men in the front. There was silence lingering in the car, the air thick with a lot of unspoken things. This was supposed to be a simple road trip, but obviously, these two were idiots, and not talking to each other.
"Minho, pull over," You snap, having had enough of this drama. "We need to talk. Right now."
"Right now? In the middle of this?" Minho asked, his eyes meeting yours in the rear view mirror.
"Now." You said firmly and he sighed, looking for somewhere safe to pull over.
"Babe, what-' Chan started, but you cut him off with a glare.
'Don't even start.' You warn him.
When Minho finally turns to face you after parking the car, you poke Chan on the shoulder, making him sigh and turn around as well.
"What's this, Y/N?" He sighed. 'Can't this wait?'
"You two could've been considerate and kept the fight for when we got home. Did you do that?" You ask and Chan falls silent.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to-" Minho stopped mid sentence as you look away.
"You guys haven't talked in two days. And you won't even tell me what this is all about," you complain. 'I wanna know. Now."
"You don't." Chan said with a force that you've never seen him use on you before.
"I'd like to be the judge of that," You said, leaning forward. "What's wrong with you two?!"
"Babe, it's nothing important." Minho assures you, reaching for your hand.
"Keep lying to me, and what happens next won't be very important too." You snap.
"Just tell her, then." Chan says, his voice so low, and resigned.
"Chan, come on." Minho is shaking his head, totally against that idea.
"She wants to know, Min," Chan says, losing his patience. "Tell her."
"We were being stupid. Nothing to tell at all." Minho counters, turning away from you.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?!"
Your voice rings through the car like an alarm, and the boys stare at you. That's definitely the first time you're raising your voice at them.
"Look its-' Minho begins.
"I love you." Chan says flatly.
You stare at the two, completely blank. Minho is also staring at Chan with his mouth falling open. It looks like he wants to say something, but also wants to kill Chan.
"What did you fight about?" You ask in a voice so low, it was barely audible over the rain.
"Y/N. Drop it." Minho says, his eyes pleading to you.
"Just fucking say it." Chan scoffs.
"Chan are you crazy?" Minho looks at Chan like he's sprouted horns out of nowhere.
"Minho."
"It's nothing!'
"MINHO."
"I LOVE YOU TOO. OK? HAPPY?!"
You sigh and sit back, your eyes moving between your two best friends.
"Was that so hard, Lino?" You ask, and Minho's head snaps up so fast, he may have sprained it. "You two are the biggest idiots I know."
Chan is much more composed at this point, his eyes narrowed at you, but otherwise normal. But Minho was definitely hyperventilating.
"What? Don't pretend like this wasn't cooking for years now." You say, and Minho just turns away and stares out of the window, completely silent.
"She's right, you know." Chan says with a shrug.
"Would you shut up for 2 minutes, Chan? I beg you." Minho's voice was so low and clipped, you and Chan share a look before you lean forward and touch his shoulder.
"Can you please tell me what's wrong, Min?' You ask softly.
"I'm doing my best here, Y/N. You don't want me back there." Minho says through clenched teeth.
"What if I do?" You ask in a small voice, and your eyes meet with Chan's again. If his eyebrows go up anymore, they would definitely go off the roof.
Minho turns to face you again, and you sit back, giving him a little shrug. And that's all it took.
Minho climbs into the back with you, his eyes dark with desire and he just looked so mad. He wastes no time in pulling you towards him, crushing his lips against yours in a hungry kiss. You moan into his mouth, your hands pulling him close. You feel Chan's eyes on you both, watching with an intensity that has your heart racing faster.
Minho nuzzles his way down to your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses along your soft skin. His hands wandered down your body, finding their place on your hips, before they wander under your shirt slowly.
And he pulls back just enough to look at you for permission. You nod, before pulling him close again. The rain outside and the steam inside the car were enough to set you both going.
Minhos's hands cup your breasts so gently, and he gives out a breathy moan as his fingers brush over nipples through your bra. His head dips down, as he takes one nipple into his mouth, sucking and teasing it so gently with his tongue, over the soft fabric.
You whine softly as he fumbles with getting rid of your top and bra, and you feel his warm mouth directly on your nipple.
You look over at Chan, who's watching the two of you, his lower lip caught between his teeth. You reach out for him, and he takes your hand, pressing a quick kiss against your knuckles before moving to join you in the back.
His lips are on yours, silencing your muffled moans with his mouth. Your tongues move together, almost mirroring Minho's on your nipple. You were a little overwhelmed, feeling them both on you, the pleasure and warmth a bit too much.
Chan's hands wander down your body, and rests on the waistband of your jeans, his eyes seeking your permission silently.
"Please-" Was all you could say.
His fingers were quick, pushing your jeans and panties down your legs, and Minho helped pull them off your legs and toss them aside. He kisses you again, his lips so warm and wet and sweet.
Chan's hands are on your thighs, spreading your legs before slipping his fingers in. His fingers slide through the slick warmth of your folds and you gasp as he slips one finger, then two in. Your hips buck against his hand, as you press your eyes tightly shut.
"You're so fucking beautiful." Minho groans as his lips kiss their way down your body.
You finally see Chan and Minho working in perfect harmony, as if they hadn't been fighting the whole weekend. You whimper softly as Minho's tongue laps at your folds, humming in approval. You moan as his tongue teased your clit, sparks of pleasure ripping through you. And as his lips move lower, tongue running through your soft wet lips, you grip at his hair. He chuckles, and then slips his tongue into your slit so smoothly.
As if this wasn't enough, Chan leans forward, his mouth quickly replacing Minho's, his tongue swirling around your sensitive bud. You squirm under them, clearly overwhelmed. It's like you're floating, completely lost in the sensation.
And you have the most mind blowing orgasm you've ever had. You see stars behind your closed eyelids, as you cry out, trying to pull away as they continue to kiss and suck at you, as your core pulses.
You're panting, you can't even breathe anymore.
Minho is sitting up now, looking at you like he's so passionately in love with you, and leans in to kiss you again. You hum as you taste yourself on his lips, and you hands grip tightly at his shirt, pulling him closer.
Chan presses a kiss in the crooke of your neck, and you hold him close too.
"You good, baby?" Chan asks, his breath hot on your skin.
"So good, " You mumble. 'So good."
"You want more, love?" Minho asks, and you look at him, and nod, a soft blush spreading on your cheeks.
And when you ask him to move, he does, setting a slow rhythm. His strokes drove you crazy, so gentle, yet setting your insides on fire. Minho's hands roam your body, his fingers so gentle as he pinched your nipples.
Minho and Chan exchange looks, and Chan is quickly out of his clothes and pulling out a little foil packet from the dashboard, throwing it to Minho, and then taking another one for himself. And positioning you under him, he's in between your legs in an instant.
There's no space to move around, especially with two men who are so much bigger than you are. Chan looks at you one last time, and you nod your consent. And he pushes in, slowly, filling you completely.
The windows steamed up, as the rain continued to drum on the roof. Your nails dig into Minho's shoulder and as Chan picks up the pace. His hips slam into you with each powerful thrust. And you're falling apart under him.
Chan bends down to capture your swollen lips in a passionate kiss as he pounds into you. Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, wanting him even deeper.
"Oh God," You moaned against Chan's mouth.
"Cum for us, baby," Chan murmurs into your lips, and that's all it takes.
Chan follows suit, his own orgasm hitting him like a freight train. He collapses on top of you, struggling to catch his breath. You run your fingers through his sweaty hair, and hes moaning against your neck.
Minho is so silent beside you, that you look at him, and see that hes watching the two of you, still completely dressed.
"You're overdressed, Lino." You whisper, and his eyes glimmer darkly as he starts undressing.
And Chan sits up slowly, pulling you up with him. You give him a confused look, but he winks at you before pulling you forward again. That's when you understand what's going on.
You're on your hands and knees now. In a car. In the middle of nowhere. In a storm.
Minho positioned himself behind you, his hands on your hips and his hard length at your entrance. With a gentle push, he slides in, and you both moan at that delicious stretch. Chan's lips are on yours, as Minho takes you from behind. His steady yet relentless pace has you whining into Chan's mouth.
You cry out again as you feel Minho's fingers in between your legs, and his touch sends shocks of pleasure through your body. Within minutes, your body quakes with another orgasm, and Chan holds you tight against him as you tremble in pleasure.
Minho is crashing into his own orgasm moments later, groaning. His thrusts slow, but he's not pulling out of you. He loves the feeling of being buried deep inside you and his hands caress your hips and butt gently.
Later, when he finally pulls out and the three of you snuggle close, you can't help but giggle, realizing fully what you've just done. Chan's the first to join you. Minho's cheeks are burning red, and he tries to stay reasonable here - but one look at the two of you, he was laughing too.
Sweaty and completely satisfied, you press a hand to your mouth to stop your giggles. And when you're finally back to normal, you glance at the boys, and ask, "So, what happens now?"
Minho sighs as he starts pulling on his clothes.
"Simple. You let us take you out. And see where this goes." Chan says with a shrug.
"Is that something you'd like to consider, jagi?" Minho asks, now looking you.
"Yes. I'd like that." You say, a small smile tugging at your lips.
You look at the two of them, considering this. You've known them forever, they're your everything. Of course you never thought this would happen. But at some point of time you did wish that you'll end up with one of them, at least. But here you are. With both.
"See, I told you. You were brooding for nothing." Chan says, and Minho just huffed in annoyance.
"You never know." Minho mutters, shaking his head.
"Now you do." Chan snaps back.
"Please don't tell me this is what you two were fighting about." You say, pulling on your own clothes.
"It's exactly what we were fighting about. I told him you love us both. He was afraid of scaring you away. I knew you're my little freaky baby - you'll be up for this." Chan wiggled his eyebrows.
"You didn't just call me a freak." You say, hitting him on the arm. "Lino, he called me a freak!"
"Stop calling her that!"
"She just let us take her right here in the car in the middle of a storm. Thats-"
"Don't say it!" You warn.
"Oh my God." Minho climbs back into the driver's seat, and tells you two to shut up.
"Lino, are you shy, baby?" You ask, leaning forward to kiss his shoulder.
"Y/N." Minho warns you, but you can see that hes trying hard not to smile.
"See, that's what I'm talking about!" Chan said, laughing.
"Channie, I swear to god."
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sadstrever · 1 day
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i’m still 114lbs. i feel sick. yesterday was an awful day, i came home and had an out of body chew and spit session. i wish there was more research on this part of ed’s, or just more people who talked about it because i can’t be alone in this. i refuse to believe i’m the only sick person who does disgusting shit like this. anyways the reason why i call it an out of body experience is because it’s almost like binging-just without all the swallowing of food. i came home and immediately started doing it and filled up 1 and 1/2 2 liter bottles with food. i spent 5 hours doing this without even realizing and pretty much emptied out my whole families fridge. the guilt i felt afterwards was worse than a binge in my opinion. not only did i totally waste SO MUCH food, make a huge mess, ended up with disgusting bottles of mush in my room, i also have to face the consequences of my family coming home to an empty fridge. but when they got home they were happy that i “ate.” god i’m such a fucking piece of shit.
anyways after all that i took 4 laxatives to try and get the guilt of wasting the food out of me. i woke up in the morning today in terrible pain but still had to go to class, cuz what am i supposed to tell my parents? “yeah i haven’t eaten in almost a month and basically just threw all the food we have out in the trash and i also took 4 laxatives, can i please stay home tehe?” so i went to 1 class and ended up leaving because the pain was so excruciating. straight from class i went to the gym and somehow burnt 900 calories because i guess that’s what guilt does to me. i had to take the bus 2 hours home afterwards(bus delays and i went to a new further gym location this time), high out of my mind. i’m home now and my stomach hurts but the laxatives finally did their job. i don’t want to keep doing this. 4 years ago i said i’d recover and then i didn’t. since then i’ve forgotten about recovery (with the exception of a few random moments here and there that i block out immediately), i am so used to living in this fucking misery that i didn’t realize how abnormal my reality is. i don’t want to be a bad person anymore. but i can’t stop lol.
this is what bothers me about the girls who romanticize this disorder SO MUCH, when much of the time they haven’t realized how difficult it can become. i know i’ve done this, even now sometimes as a coping mechanism. but man, i’m sick of it.
i have a friend who writes poetry and she wrote a poem about eating disorders that make me so fucking angry. the thing is, i’ve known her for years and she’s always had the best relationship with food out of most of the people i know. she’s naturally pretty thin(not too thin but normal) and she’s very open about her struggles. i know every single one of her stories, i know she’s diagnosed with adhd. that’s HER disorder, that i don’t understand so i DONT write fucking POETRY about it. a few months ago she kind of forced me into opening up about my eating disorder. after i did, suddenly she started writing these stories about her eating disorder-very very very suspiciously similar to mine. i obviously didn’t tell her everything but i told her about how long this has been going on and just my emotions about it. seeing her start to adapt my fucking disorder into her poetry disgusted me. she glamorized the fuck out of it and made me feel so stupid for ever opening up about it. she’s naturally skinny so she got a bunch of support from our friend group from it and i’m just upset man. i’m sick of living in misery while other people can use the idea of living in pain for attention.
i promised my best friend that in 3 weeks i’ll go back to therapy and try my best to recover. it’s not true. man it’s never fucking true. it’s never fucking over. unlike ms.deep-poetry-girl i can’t just fucking write this and log off and then eat a good warm meal and talk to my parents without them mentioning my body. i can’t wake up tomorrow morning and hug them without worrying that they’re gonna feel my bones. i can’t wear shorts anymore without people noticing the bruises. i can’t go to school and keep my focus because i have nothing to feed my brain. i can’t let anyone get close because soon enough they’ll be just like YOU. OR they’ll hate me for not wanting to get better. i can’t love myself like you do because of the disgusting things i do each day. i can’t wake up thinner and suddenly stop hating myself. FUCK YOUUUUUUUU GOD IM SO SICK OF IT GOD. whatever im done. just sick and tired.
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shima-draws · 8 months
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Thinks about how the Straw Hats were separated for 2 whole ass years and how much they must have missed each other and explodes
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littlebigplanet · 2 years
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ten whole years
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nomairuins · 23 days
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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delicatetaysversion · 1 month
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okay ventpost time im bored and my period is late
#my mother is leaving AGAIN#to stay with my father#bhai mujhe nahi rehna akele i don't want to parent my brother#i don't want to cook or stress about what to eat and clothes and laundry and literally buying vegetables every few days#well all these things are just surface level but i REALLYYYYY do not want to live alone with my thoughts#i want to study i can't just study on my phone with no adult mere sarr pe khade hoke asking ki itna tv#kyu dekh rahi hai kya hua class kyu nahi attend kari#kar liya try bhai call me immature and childish and pathetic and dependent and undisciplined whatever but mere bas ki baat nahi hai#also ooooh listen to my moms great solution: she'll stay there and dad will come!! to live with us two!! alone!! haha.#it's sk fucking sad and repetitively traumatizing ki i don't even know how to react#my sister is the only kid both my parents like when she stays home things are mostly calm and happy#they dote on her they tolerate us#and they should i love her too but now i feel like crying because i don't want her to stay back just for me??? my stupid mental health??#she's doing enough by staying here till rakhi just because i asked her begged her to not leave me alone mami ke side#she could've fucked off and gone to live her life 10 days ago#it's not fair#the person i love and want to live with.. if she stays she's miserable and her being miserable mskes me miserable#i just. i miss her so much. she already feels so distant and busy and then she'll go abroad and totally forget about me right#who doesn't need all this constant depression holding you back weighing you down when you're living your best life#i hate that there's no solution i just have to grow up and be okay with it#i already got more time with her than i thought she stayed home like 2 years extra cause of covid#3 actually#ab why am i crying it was a good day#also i don't want to make it all about me but like. idk when i was picturing my adult life i was thinking like#night clubs and gay bars and beaches at night#i never factored in real factors like the horrifying fucking country we live in 💀💀#it's just it was the only thing that kept me going the promise of a better future#but now what.#and like#it's feels so stupid now the fact that i sometimes want to like
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thedreadvampy · 2 months
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it's been a strange arc so far
when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'
when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'
the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'
#red said#this is about one specific relationship btw.#wanted to clarify that because there have been several men over 30 who fucked me up between the ages of 16 and 21#and i adamently do NOT want to keep pretending that was incompetence. that was predation. sometimes incompetent predation.#but with the person I'm thinking of? she really hurt me and the age gap and difference in life stage was a not insubstantial factor#but mostly she was just spiralling out really badly and i offered her something to hold and she did try to keep things balanced and safe#but she was very off balance at the time. so the fucking up was more that than it was about power or control#we were just both very stupid and very sensible at the same time which is a great way to dig yourselves deeper#and idk I'm like 2 or 3? years younger than she was when we met iirc#and the closer i get to her age the more I'm like yeah you know that's a human reaction. i can see how that happens.#and i kind of feel bad for the amount of bitterness I've held and malice I've ascribed because ultimately#i think it was just two people having different crises trying and failing to figure out boundaries around them#but this has come on really suddenly and it's kind of fucking me up as well#cause I'm frightened of falling back into patterns of oh it's never anyone else's fault that i got hurt#but i don't. thiiiiink so? bc it's really only this one thing. i am not making these excuses for other people.#idk. sometimes people just fuck each other up.#I'm not even sure i think it was a bad thing that it happened. a lot of bad happened but we also catalyzed a lot of change in each other.#i feel like the reason i keep picking at this is that it's complicated. it was not good. it was good.#she really fucked me up and she was a terrible friend to me at times. but she was also the first person to really look after me.#and she kind of helped me start to learn how to need other people. which was good.#when my grandma died she wrapped me in a blanket and cancelled her plans to watch TV on the couch with me#even though she barely knew me at that point#and she was one of the first people to consistently ask for consent and check in. and she did genuinely care about me.#but she also truly fucked me over a couple of times.#but mostly that was just because she was buried in a pit of despair and self loathing.#she seems a lot happier now. i hope she is. i don't know if i want to know her particularly but i think if she's happy she'd be nice to know
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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oh girls dont look im rambling in here
#spoilers#?? ig?? potential y8 spoilers???????#snap chats#anyway its been recently revealed by hidenari ugaki that he hasn't heard word about reprising his role as majima yet#and like. part of me doesn't mind the possibility of majima not coming back to LaD8 but:#1.) ugaki sounded upset bout the fact he didnt hear back yet :( if it means he isn't worried anymore then please bring maji back#2.) if majima isn't in the game then im just curious as to what the fuck kiryu's purpose is going to be then#maybe he just hasnt gotten word yet so i dont wanna say its official hes not coming back#but LaD8's set to release two years from now- not even maybe a year and then some#so if he hasnt gotten word yet it is lookin a bit uhhh whats the word/phrase. idk Down To The Wire thats it I Think#im not saying majima and kiryu are stapled at the hip and if one of them is there the other one has to be#it's just... it's just so baffling having kiryu come back as a protagonist#this is less of a ramble about majima's potential return to the franchise and more about kiryu's return haha baited yall sorry#him coming back in LaD7 was already a bit of a stretch but i get it- i cant say im totally mad about it#if that would really be the last time we saw him then i wouldve been happy#but yeah im just.. really anticipating LaD8 now like whats he going to do in it if none of the past players are coming back#cause LBR if not even majima is making it when he's been beyond established as a fan favorite then there ain't hope for anyone else#ugh 2024 get here sooner please i just want to know what's going to happen#i also wanna see my boy ichi again. my sunshine my fellow my guy my pal my--#ok thats all from me for tonight feel free to send me your opinions or somethin idk
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gxtzeizm · 8 months
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having a vivid dream really hurts like hell realizing that it's actually not freaking real because i was thought it was really true at that time 😭😭💔
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orcelito · 1 year
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Bought the memorial plush for Cassy. It's gonna be here on Thursday
It looks pretty similar to Sammy's in style, just with a different pose. I'll see how they look when placed together.
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reikunrei · 2 years
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tell me why it seems like 90% of byler shippers are the most smug, insufferable people i’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing on my dash. like can y’all be normal people LMAO
i’ve been following a smattering of general st fandom accounts that also post a lot about them for less than a week and i’m already like “damn i gotta fuckin go”
you’re telling me i survived 2013-2015 superwholock and free! shipping wars and i’m just right back in it in the year of our lord 2023? get a life LOL
#me seeing the 17th punching-down nickname for mileven: im seriously at my fucking limit#I DONT EVEN LIKE ONE SHIP MORE THAN THE  OTHER#WHO GIVE A SHIT!!! BE NNORMAL!!!#saw a post today that was like 'ppl who ship mileven should be scared#bc the st social accounts didnt even post anything abt them for vday teehee mileven shippers are so delusional'#and i rolled my eyes so hard they almost popped out of my head#this shit does not matter! why are u being so mean to these 14 year old characters LOL#mileven and byler are both good! why are you pitting 2 bad bitches against each other!#when will ppl learn that it's more fun to analyze all ships wwith a neutral-positive pov#rather than trying to explain how the analysis makes YOUR ship better#like seriously go get a hobby that makes you happy#rather than wasting time trying to convince ppl they shouldnt ship smthn bc you dont like it#'oh but el makes mike feel inferior so it's a bad duo' bro what#like i see where youre coming from but he's allso 14#and has the  potential to llearn to not feel that way bc el loves him#not my l key sticking every time i use it#anyway. yeah. it's annoying#time to go back to only following cool chill gifmakers#just. i dont think i'll ever understand the desire to focus only on ships#is it valid to analyze media and come away with intricate thoughts on rellationships? yes of course#but god. i just want general discussions about solo charas and the show as a whole#stranger things is a story about LOVE and not about ROMANCE#my aro/ace tendencies are flaring up :zany emoji:#i say things#ANYWAY. I HAVE TO. SHUT UP LOL
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mwagneto · 2 years
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im finally done with all my exams this was literally the most exhausting month/2 months of my fucking life. and i get one day off bc im doing something on literally every other day but that's gonna be fun im not complaining
#im finally gonna see my friends againnn my god#i literally only saw them during exams and i haven't seen my pre uni friends since summer it's DIRE#i have to squeeze visiting my sister and hanging out with 2 of them into one day coz otherwise it#literally wouldn't fit anywhere else MDMDKDMDNHD christ#and then on Wednesday.... heh😏#barking#my fucking god i need to fit 100000 years of sleep into today coz im lit rally gonna be busy as hell#it's so annoying coz I'm rly happy i finally get to hang out properly with everyone again#but at the same time im like why did you plan stuff when you could just sleep and relax:/#NO i literally miss them so much and I'd just be bored at home anyway#I'd have pretty much the whole month off but somehow i managed to cram it full of stuff and im#also traveling on Wednesday and wont be back til late February which im also kinda all over the#place about coz im so excited but im also like mad at myself for leaving instead of#enjoying being home alone with nothing to do finally but yk. I'd just be bored#also the month/2 months thing all but one of my exams was in the past 30 days but i#had an insane december too with like 50 assignments an exam sickness 3 birthdays christmas and#traveling to someone's house in a different city for half a week and like a bunch of other shit im forgetting#point is my fucking GOD I'm having fun but i need a fucking break for real I'm running myself into the ground#at least im done with these stupid Fucking exams and my average of seminar + lecture grades is#gonna be like 4.0 which is beyond perfect i thought I'd get like 2.5 lmfaooooo#(grades go from 1 to 5‚ 1 is fail 2 is pass 3 is satisfactory 4 is good 5 is excellent)#(like that's literally their official names that's not me calling them that djdnridjeidjdj)#i thought i just wouldn't study at all and skirt by with 3s and 4s like i usually do but i#actually got a lot of 5s im amazed. like genuinely who am i#anyway this is long lmao tldr sorry i haven't been on much im just constantly busy lmao😭#oh and also im not even going to meet my pre uni friends coz neither me or them have any fawking time
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lapeaudelamemoire · 10 months
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Okay. I did my shopping at the place that has the one sale like once a year and also because I pinch pennies about this signed up to the rewards/loyalty system. I have gotten 10 emails or something now because I get a fucking email every time I 'earn points' by doing something like clicking on a thing. I mean, good to know, but also, g-d-fucking-damn it's so fucking annoying ARGH
Plus clicking on all those things didn't let me use my money off reward in conjunction with the discount sale code so what was even the point. Ugh.
#i am annoyed because I did the clever (imo) thing and bought 2 of the thing in case idk it sells out before the next entire year#in case it tears or something; it's so annoying when you get a good clothing item but then when you need another one it's discontinued#or something#but#that means more money#so now i have less money left for the other basic underwear i need to buy from the other place#g-d i hate this.#i was also hoping to have some money left over to buy like a slightly less basic set of things to feel nice about myself#now that my body is all different#but alas#i don't even feel like i'm being frivolous my money is literally going to a) replacing knickers i sized out of#b) basic knickers for work#c) perhaps an item from my wishlist that has been there for years#and only very hopefully d) a set of Some Nice Things#but after spending money on (a) i am already like. fuck. i don't wanna spend more money on other things.#like - should i even?#but even in (b) there's one item that is a replacement because i fucking ordered it in the correct size last time but the owner was like#'i saw your order and i think a size down might be good? seeing as you previously ordered xyz' and i was like 'okay you're the owner#happy to go with your rec'#and it was wrong and i was right originally but exchanging it would be like. about the same price to post the damn thing back as buying it#again since they gave me a code for half off but really i kinda wish they could just give me a new one free since ughhh#i am distinctly getting the feeling that if i buy this basic set of things i will already be upset about having spent this much money#and that it will have already been more than i wanted to spend#and then not get anything else#argh#scream. cry.#personal
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ragazza-paradiso · 1 year
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watching your pet slowly dying is the worst most heartbreaking thing on this planet
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#the burdent of not being understood. its annoying and i dont like it. also its my fault#because if u say something serious in a light tone ppl dont kno wtf to do. prob bc they dont kno if ur delusional or not and like dont#wanna upset u. but then its like annoying bc they still walk away worried and im like ok neither of us r happy bc u dont get how serious#thjs is but i cant tell u how serious it is without making u worried. and y should i make u worry if u can't fuckinf do anything abt it?#so its just annoying. which is to say i went to a retirement lunch today and it was as awkward as i imagined#bc it was me and my boss and a couple professors and i dont do well in these group situations anything so i spent a lotta time spaced out#not hearing anyone bc the noise in the room was messy and my brain was peeling away from my body. but whatever i was there. and my boss#drove us both and on the way back she started the. im worried abt u talk. which i feel like she was too hesitant abt it. which like i get#bc its awkward to bring up but like i dont give a fuck so idk i feel like u gotta start those conversations like. this is how watching u#makes me feel. idk whatever. and i was honest but like it was a 5min car ride so i didnt have thr time to be like ok heres the deal. ya#kno? so now im all annoyed bc my brain is fucking unbearable when i feel like i havent made my thoughts clear. and now its like. do i bring#it back up? or just let it go? whats to be gained by talking abt it? all that i have to say is upsetting bc im very aware im being self#destructive. thats the point. i get boried and my brain only lets me do like 2 things so i use those things to make myself insane. bc at#least then i can observe the symptoms of the stress im exherting on myself. and i kno that not good bc idk how to stop and ppl r always#like u gotta relax. what will help u relax? and im like u dont fucking understand. i cant regulate thr amount i like things. if i like#something i like it so much it becomes stressful. and i like drawing but its not relaxing. its a thing i have to do and its stressful bc im#constantly thinking abt making things perfect and never meeting thst mark. my happiest memories arent even happy moments theyre just times#where my brain stopped for a second and i could just breathe for a minute. so like i cant relax. i dont like anything a normal amount so#the solution must be medication. but my brain has decided im not allowed to fix this problem until i move away so like 🙃 and like i was#giving little bits of this in the car but its like lady i kno its a problem. ive known its a problem for years. the self awareness doesnt#help. except that it keeps me from doing anything extremely bad bc for me if i at least kno where it comes from i can b like ah yes. this#is fucking stupid lol. but i dunno how me sharing all this helps bc im sure it only raises the worry. but like its fine. i mean its not but#like ya kno. and i was kinda explaining how upsetting it is for me to have my schedule changed without warning even if its for things other#ppl would see as good and i wasnt thst firm abt it so it was: but i can't just do nothing for u! and i was like ugh fuck it fine whatever.#and like do i bring that back up bc it is like a respect my boundaries thing but like i feel like if i were anyone else it would be good#to drag someone out of their comfort zone but im being dragged into situations i find profoundly isolating bc i cant seem to function in#groups. ugh its just fucking annoying bc i dont want her to feel bad. i appreciate the effort but like ugh its exhausting. whatever. it was#anyway. im just annoyed thst i should have explained things better. also im annoyed thst i constantly forget most things taste bland and#then im annoyed when i hsve to eat bland things. i think my nose doesnt work right bc i csnt smell much either#unrelated
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pierswife · 1 year
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Older sibling lore unlocked: just found out my older sister also likes Trigun
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