#but they are SPAMMING THE EVER LIVING FUCK OUT OF MY DASH FOR DAYS NOW

[erebidaean]

@staff I am BEGGING you to please add a temporary mute feature

[cookinguptales]

Shit, the post about the podcast and accessibility just came up on my dash and my heart fucking *shattered* when I saw who it was. They're the only group of content creators that I've ever seen be respectful of my neck of the woods, and finding out that, despite their diversity in cast and characters, and the research they put in to be respectful, they didn't even care... I kind of feel like I've been gut-punched. I'm so, so sorry that they let you down like that. I'm grateful that you shared your story.

Oof, blast from the past. Forgive me if I’m a little terse in my response here; I’m currently on vacation and uh. Frankly, that whole thing was a deeply stressful experience.

I guess I’ll just say that they did reach out to me and try to make things right. I did go to the live show despite some misgivings. The seat that the venue saved for me made it impossible to see most of the stage, so… that’s the cripple seats, I guess. I can’t blame the podcasters for that part, nor can I blame them for the intense mistreatment fans of the show sent my way for daring to post about my experiences (someone signed my fandom email up to a bunch of spam lists, for christ’s sake) but like. The whole experience really did sour me on the show for good.

I do agree that part of what frustrated me so much was how much they sounded inclusive on the podcast. This wasn’t like You Must Remember This, which still illegally charges disabled people for access to the podcast (by paywalling the transcripts) or shows that engage in casual ableism. I really did expect better from them, which is why it hurt. I think it’s also why I still have a more emotional mental block where the show is concerned now. It’s just… not fun for me anymore.

I also grew up in and out of Appalachia and… being honest with you, I didn’t have great experiences there. (A lot of my extended family lives there and they are uh. Extremely religious. Their communities messed me up some growing up, particularly regarding my queerness and disability.) So I was kind of finding healing from some of that through that podcast and… well. I guess it didn’t feel very healing anymore lmao.

I did grow up around the concept that the disability I was born with was a punishment for my parents from God, and that my role in the community was to never complain and generally be an opportunity to inspire others through God’s grace, etc., so I’ll admit some of the responses I got from the community about how I should sit down and shut up and be grateful for whatever accommodations able-bodied folks felt like giving me were… kind of triggering, being honest with you. Like, again, my presence was just a particularly annoying burden for “normal” people and I needed to be quiet and know my place. That demanding “special treatment” from fine upstanding folks who didn’t deserve my bitching was something that had earned me all that hate mail.

Not my favorite month on the internet! 🙃

So uhhh yeah, these days I’m not… in the fandom anymore. lmao. That said, I appreciate your kind message. Kind of nice to get some sweetness in a torrent of shit.

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Hi Grey.

If you ever have the time I would really like ti hear more about your writingprogress.

Like. How do you come up with your ideas? Do you do a outline? Where and when do you write? Are you finishing all your stories before posting them? Do you fact check things? How long time does it normally take for you to finish a story? Have you ever regretting posting a story? Why do you write? Do you have a beta?

Youre one of my favorite authors here and I’m really just curious of the mind and work behind the story’s that I’ve spent so much time with.

weeping. I'm one of your favorites???? what the hell??? thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for being so nice. that just made my day.

i am going to put the answers to all those things below a cut to not spam my dash with a long post. but also, i shouldn't give writing advice ever and while i appreciate you asking your questions, everything with a grain of salt. because...i know absolutely nothing and this is just what I do. (and also, im an affectionate idiot so <3)

How do you come up with your ideas?

often my ideas start with a very very specific image in my mind, and then i go from there. sometimes they happen while im listening to a song (for example, FFTF happened because I was listening to Since We're Alone by Niall Horan and there's a line in there that says Why would you want to be someone else? I love you best when you're just yourself and an entire wolfstar narrative exploded, but i had to figure out how Sirius would be guarded in this particular way and....here we are) or sometimes when im on a walk or driving. also, as a total cop out, i write romance-- i get ideas from making foolish scenarios in my mind where people should fall in love and I'll never have a shortage of those.

Do you do an outline?

No! I don't. Once I have the idea, i usually start by writing the specific scene that came to me first (so for ten reasons, i wrote the voicemail scene first. i heard remus's voicemail in my mind so loud and clear and wrote it out) and i go from there. this is for my own unpacking but i almost always can see how things end in my mind before they begin (lol, isn't that a fucking metaphor; for a fun personal fact, I've always said since i was like...very little that i wasn't planning on living past 33, which is horrifying to hear out of a ten year olds mouth, but like...i still think its true). for almost all my fics, i wrote the ending first and then wrote around it. never chronologically. just everything that i want to happen and then i put it in some sort of order (i wish i could show you my doc for tight ends right now). and then i make them lead into one another.

I DO. however, do an obligatory chapter count. and i mean, so arbitrary, with no thoughts applied to it. NMTW i literally said 14 chapters, and stuck to it. this is the only structure i give myself when i write. and its my job as a writer to make sure i fit in there.

i do the same when im writing tumblr series. so like fault lines got SIX, chosen at random, and six it was. it was my job to tell that story in six parts. no more no less. (this is admittedly weird, i understand most writers dont work this way, but this actually helps me immensely. the only time i deviated was with FFTF when i added more chapters because the chapters i did have ended up being like TOO LONG in my eyes for a chapter, so i broke them up).

but also--i know other authors who DO outline and its helpful for them!! Find what works for you!!! I tried to outline once and the fic never left my drafts.

Where and when do you write?

To quote Shakira, "Whenever, Wherever"

I write a lot in parking lots on my phone. a lot of my tumblr drabbles are written on my phone and in a parking lot, ten reasons and tight ends were both started in parking lots.

otherwise on my desktop! in google docs! or if its smut, in a word doc! i write the best early in the morning or super late at night when i should be sleeping. I write when i can! Usually at my desk, or i'lll bring my laptop over and write while my kid is playing video games or we're watching something on tv. sometimes i write in the middle of my work day when i have a second in my office (this is also very quick and very on my phone). i just wrote smut at a nail salon. whenever, wherever.

Are you finishing all your stories before posting them?

yes. head to toe, top to bottom, signed sealed delivered. the stories are written before i post. this works better for me! i need to see the whole thing finished!! it also makes it very fun for me when readers are commenting and are like...in anguish, and im there like "tee hee, i know what happens next".

tumblr drabbles no. i pants those. fault lines, mercy, the pact (is part four written? nah but its started and i have no idea where its going to go!!!), the best worst thing to have ever happened-- PANTSTED. sat and written flat into the tumblr post machine. no outline, no plan, just feelings and vibes. (and yes this means that the end of fault lines was a pants decision and im very sorry it ruined everyone, whoops).

this again varies from author to author! most of my writer friends write as they go because they like to be align with the readers! or they work better chronologically and will just write and post and write and post, but again, this is something personal! do what works best for you!

Do you fact check things?

Lol sometimes? I probably should more often, tbh. I do a lot of geography fact checking because i couldn't map my way out of a paper bag, but otherwise, not...really. But also, my fics dont tend to have a lot of....information in them that needs a fact check. People are just falling in love. also, not to flex, but i have a big brain that stores a bunch of useless information and remembers a lot of things, so if i write something i usually believe myself (writing tight ends right now and putting my football knowledge to good use and there's been a few times I've been like "...hmmm" and referenced google and WE WERE RIGHT! so i mostly just trust my brain.)

Writing NMTW was also challenging because i had to reference SOURCE MATERIAL to see if there was a designated teacher for x subject, or when exactly school breaks were etc etc. but that said, i did not care about being accurate with full moons or course timestables or hogsmeade visits or anything like that. we...simply do not care. (this obviously does not apply to things that very much need fact checking such as if i were to write a medical procedure or something relating to disability or race/ethnicity/languages spoken; obviously do your homework for that.)

How long a time does it normally take you to finish a story?

Cop out-- it depends! Sometimes less than a week. (The pact is short, will be done by tomorrow most likely). I wrote ten reasons in four days. it took me 3 months to write an alleged wip though. it just....depends on my time and my schedule.

Have you ever regretted posting a story?

Sometimes! There was a moment when i was fresh on AO3 (pre-tumblr) where i got a few really nasty comments and it made me regret posting the story at all and made me regret joining AO3, and made me regret thinking my fics could be a thing or that my writing was worth sharing etc. I know I give FFTF a hard time because they're....out of pocket, but there are parts of that fic i really really like, and it seems to connect with a lot of people, so i can't have regrets about that.

i have deleted a few one shots off my AO3 though, because i decided they didn't need to be shared, but i wouldn't necessarily call that regret. just...re-evaluation.

Do you have a beta?

No. I do have one trusted person though who i send things to before i release them into the public, not as a beta but as.....a litmus test (to see how the fic reads but also for me and how i feel about sharing it in the first place; I've done it before with this person where they got something and then WEEKS later tumblr got it. Sometimes months.). I 10/10 recommend doing this. and i feel so so so so so so lucky that i found someone like that here and they tolerate my existence. but pre-tumblr, it was just me myself and i doing the thing. and also it took some time before i even trusted this person (did i mention im paranoid? and private?) to get my work because you can't take it back. and what if it didn't need to be shared? there are a few things this person has gotten that i havent and will never post. but like...im so fortunate to have that. you know?

I...am way too chaotic for a beta. and also have a very particular way i edit my stuff (because ND) and adding another person into the flow of that can get confusing. Too many cooks, you know?

Why do you write?

i saved this one for the end because my heart.

i think i've said before that like...a lot of my time as a child and a teenager and young adult in spaces was spent believing that i was a bad writer because neurodivergent and i don't understand mechanics of grammar or...words or...write in a way you're supposed to (outlines for example). and spent a lot of time giving my ideas to other people who i thought were GOOD writers.

but i...am a creative person. and sometime in 2019, i hit the biggest artist block of my life where i literally didn't draw or paint for a year. and picked up writing instead.

poetry, and then it evolved into romance, which i...turned into fic and here i am. and ultimately, i write because i like to. because its creative and it makes my brain happy when a sentence just hits, you know? because i believe in love and want to see more queer love stories and if i...can do the thing, i should, right?

i write because i...realized that i had stories in my head that needed places to go that i couldn't express visually through my artwork. also, ive mentioned it here before, that i am...young and have experienced an absurd amount of death and loss in my life (personally and professionally). and...well, i write a lot of fics about grief for that reason. i don't think i could ever run out of words for this (and have also published ACTUALLY on grief, both creatively and academically), and sometimes i write to like...sit with those feelings for a bit.

i...also think i write because i am a soft human in a very hard world in a hard career path who experiences things deeply and these things and observations need places to go. i cant carry them around all day, that's too heavy and my hands aren't big enough.

so i make art. and i dance. and i play music.

and i write.

i hope any of this is helpful. and if you get the courage to come off anon, i am more than happy to talk with you in DMS about processes or answer any more questions <3

[chosonore]

part one | oblivion

oblivion [noun. the state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening around one]

pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader

summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.

wordcount: 3.9k

content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, noritoshi is kind of a dick but i promise it gets better so please don’t lose faith in him, we’re not strictly following the manga timeline bc while i am reading it, i do have a goldfish brain, lowercase intended

a/n: hello, here’s the first installment of my sanguine series! it’s the prequel of this drabble (nsfw) i wrote the other week while i was working on the outline of the fic. it’s a little slow burn because i wanted to spend some more time exploring their relationship and the groundwork for it, so yeah. i’ll try to update it regularly, but since i’ve only planned five parts for sanguine, it might take a while bc i want to take my time with it. if you want to stay updated with the series, i’ll post the masterlist to it shortly! i do hope you enjoy it though :) and stay safe, everybody! [tagging @sukirichi​ the sukuna to my yuuji, who just gets spammed when i start rambling about my aus but always screams with me (´• ω •`)]

masterlist - next 

"y/n!" you look up to see miwa storming towards you, thrusting a book in your direction. "could you- could you please give this to noritoshi? i borrowed this book from him like a week ago and if i don't return this anytime soon, i think he's gonna kill me." 

scowling at her, you look at the book in disdain. you wanted to avoid crossing paths with noritoshi as much as possible and miwa was well aware that you didn't like hi- 

"please," miwa pleaded again, taking your hands and placing the book in it. "i'm really scared of him. he always looks like he's going to shoot me soon. even todo is pretty nice if you don't interrupt his takada-chan time!" 

you sighed in annoyance, you just couldn't say no. ever since coming to the kyoto metropolitan curse tech, miwa and you had been pretty close because you strongly disliked the other students. most of them were arrogant and stuck-up, thinking they were better than the other; the two that belonged to the three clans were even worse. on your first day here you'd promptly gotten into a fight with mai, disliking how haughty she was and trying to prove everyone that she was better than them. much to your chagrin, the fight ended in a tie.

"fine, but you owe me some mango," miwa's face lit up in relief and she gave you a thumbs up before dashing to her room, most likely to escape noritoshi's wrath. you inspected the book. was it even worth returning it? maybe you could just throw it in the trash. if noritoshi ever found out, he'd kill miwa first and then you. you let out another sigh before making your way towards the training grounds. he most likely was outside to practice, either with one of the guys or alone. as you were nearing the training grounds, you could already hear the sound of arrows whistling and the dull thuds of them hitting the target. it was hard to spot him through all the trees; you weren't entirely sure where he was. your ears perked up when you heard him release another arrow until you realized that it was heading your way. this bastard. fortunately, you were able to slash the arrow clean in the middle, angrily pointing your sword in his direction. you still couldn't see him anywhere.

"you fucking idiot! you could've killed me," you snarled, stomping deeper into the forest. an amused laugh echoed through the trees. 

"you're acting like i can't control my arrows. it's not my fault you let your guard down," noritoshi retorted smugly, lowering his bow as he saw you approaching. you were fuming, hurling the book at him. how dare he? you watched with satisfaction as it hit him square in the chest - who was caught off guard now, huh? he deserved it anyways. 

"miwa asked me to return your book," you curtly explained and turned back around to leave but apparently, noritoshi had other plans. instead of saying anything else, he just followed you which unsettled you even more. 

"stop following me." 

"who said i was following you? i'm just going back to the dorms. i'm sorry you can't handle me being near you."

you whirled around, sword pointing dangerously close to his neck. he smirked at you triumphantly, it was just too easy to get a rouse out of you. "another word and i'll cut you, seriously. you're pissing me off," you gritted your teeth, hating that you always fell for his stupid games. he knew you all to well, what made you angry, what made you happy, what motivated you. once upon a time, you'd thought the same about him; until he changed so rapidly, so unlike your expectations. you were worlds apart and yet you'd reserved an ounce of hope that he wouldn't turn out to be as arrogant as the clan heads. swift as the wind, noritoshi grabbed your wrist, dragging it upwards and towards him until he could lean down to you. your heartbeat sped up - holy shit why was he so close to you - and you froze in shock. 

"i'd like to see you try, princess," he whispered in your ear, the grip on your wrist tightening. "you wouldn't dare to."

the first time you met noritoshi, he was sitting outside in the garden with his mum. both seemed to have a good time. noritoshi's hair was tousled from the soft summer breeze and he had a soft smile on his face, happily munching away on the snacks that were displayed on the table. while he looked friendly enough, you were wary of meeting and talking to him because you felt kind of queasy around the kamo family. you couldn’t quite place a finger on the feeling, the older members of the family intimidating you to no end. much to your dismay, you felt like you had to be watchful - your parents worked for the kamo family, so naturally the apartment you lived in was close to the estate. you avoided any run ins with the adults, they weren’t exactly friendly to you. noritoshi’s mum had befriended your mum and they spent a lot of time together when possible. and yet you’d never met noritoshi before, seeing how busy he was with his various classes.

the fit that you threw, not wanting to tag along with your mum, was long forgotten when you’d spotted the jar of cookies on the table. before your mum could react, you pulled your hand away from hers and quickly ran towards it. “hello miss!” you greeted enthusiastically, your eyes shining at the sight of the sweets. “my name is y/n! i’m here with my mum and i uhm… could i have some of the cookies? please?” when your mum finally caught up to you, she scolded you quietly and greeted the other two, taking a seat beside noritoshi’s mum. you pouted, immediately climbing on her lap as you refused to sit next to the boy. his mum handed you a cookie which you happily took and thanked her politely. noritoshi was curiously eyeing you; it wasn’t often that he saw other children around his age and he didn’t have any friends to play with. his everyday life revolved around reading books, studying, taking archery classes and sometimes spending time with his mum. noritoshi barely even knew what fun was - he’d only ever felt at peace when he was around his mum.

“y/n, sweetie, why don’t you go and play with noritoshi?” your mum prompted but you immediately shook your head, hiding your face in her chest. she simply laughed and shook her head, brushing your hair back softly. “come on, noritoshi is really nice. you can be his friend one day, right? didn’t i tell you that friends are important?” 

you frowned. then huffed. when she worded it like this, there was no way you could refuse. the cartoon that you religiously watched featured a group of friends that went on adventures and helped each other out. you’d told your mum that you wanted to be like that too! begrudgingly, you slid off her lap and trudged towards noritoshi who looked at you with big eyes. you held your hand out, waiting for him to shake it. “my name is y/n. uhm… nice to meet you,” you shyly whispered, eyes darting away from him. 

it took a while until noritoshi reacted, shaking your hand gently and answering: “hello y/n, i’m noritoshi.”

much to your surprise, noritoshi was actually fun to be around with. he showed you his collection of books, the bow that he was practicing with and you often played the card game you’d received for your birthday together. he was smart and witty, often explaining you things that he’d read in a book but he was also attentive when he listened to you ramble about the other kids in school or when you told him about the cartoon that you were watching. for you, noritoshi was becoming your best friend - for noritoshi, you were his first friend. he cherished you and how unabashedly true to yourself you were. spending time with you was something he looked forward to; you always made him laugh and you didn’t care whether he lived up to the kamo family name or not. to you, he was simply noritoshi. you were like a fresh breeze of air in his life.

noritoshi didn't quite understand why the elders were always so hard on him, so strict and unrelenting. they expected only the best results from him and didn't show any understanding when he exhausted. he didn't enjoy practice anymore, the lessons becoming a chore and burden on his mind. but whenever he saw your face light up at his newly acquired skills, he thought it was worth the trouble. you came to visit him everyday after school, never skipping a day. sometimes he questioned why you weren't visiting your friends from school but you shook your head, poking his chest indignantly. "you're my best friend, 'toshi. of course i'd want to spend more time with you." noritoshi was glad you always chose him, without fail.

even though your parents had always warned you to be careful around noritoshi because his family was strict and didn't like outside influences distracting the heir, you never really strayed from his side. noritoshi didn't have any other friends, who would keep him company or listen to his troubles then? you didn't understand why your parents were suddenly going back on their word. they'd always told you that family and friends were important. you couldn't pinpoint your feelings for him - but your parents saw it. it was obvious; the stars in your eyes when you looked at him, the slight blush on your cheeks when he complimented you and how happy you were when you got to spend time with him. the more time you spent with him, the more they were worried for you. 

"'toshi!" you yelled in excitement as you ran towards him, waving wildly. he dropped his bow and turned to you, a soft smile gracing his lips as he opened his arms to hug you. you squeezed him tightly. two weeks you hadn't seen him due to a school trip after which you got sick and weren't able to leave the house. you'd missed him a lot and you were excited to show him the souvenirs you brought him. 

"look, i bought you an omamori!" you handed him the small object, then pointing on your bag to show him the one you'd bought for yourself. "i got myself a matching one too! my teacher said it wards off evil spirits and brings you luck." noritoshi's smile was bright, so bright. he was happy you thought of him and were always kind to him. your eyes widened as he leaned in to kiss your cheek before thanking you. the two of you were blushing, neither saying a word but not minding what had just happened.

the day noritoshi's mother left the estate was the day you were slowly starting to lose him. noritoshi grew more forlorn and didn't seem to easily find joy in anything anymore. the departure left a deep, deep gap in his heart. it had shocked him deep to the core when she left him. him. why couldn't she stay? why did she leave him when she was the only person who protected him, loved him? she did say that she was hindering his growth but who was she to decide that? he didn't want to become stronger, didn't want to protect other people like she'd told him to. he wanted to stay with her. "'toshi? 'toshi!" a concerned voice broke through his trance, pulling him back into reality. "i asked you a question! you weren't even listening to me." 

you were pouting at him, tugging at his sleeve impatiently. noritoshi apologized, patting your head to soothe your temper. "what do you want to do in the future? mum said it's important to work towards your dreams!" you asked him curiously, grasping his hand to hold it. the gesture filled him with indescribable warmth, drawing him in like a moth to the flames. "my mum said i have a special power, i can heal people! i want to become a doctor in the future, so i can help everyone that got hurt," you explained to him so earnestly that he felt bad for the lie he was about to tell. noritoshi didn't have big dreams or ambitions just yet. he didn't even know what would be suitable to him - he was strictly following orders, never allowed to think for himself. 

but when he looked at you, he only had one wish. "i think… i think i want to help people, protect them. especially those that i love."

with each year passing, you noticed that noritoshi was putting more and more distance between the two of you. at first you'd brushed it off as the stress of his training and number of classes he was attending. but as you spent less and less time together, the weight of the situation didn’t escape you. he was easily irritable, cold and arrogant, often rude towards employees of the kamo estate. every now and then when you’d scold him for being an asshole, he’d simply scoff at you and haughtily ask you how it was any of your business. you sighed, tossing and turning in your bed as you thought about how much noritoshi had changed. it kept you up at night, just thinking about how he wasn’t your ‘toshi anymore. you didn’t know this person. ‘toshi was always gentle and kind, he tended to overthink many things and sometimes he was a little bit of a crybaby but you still loved him regardless. you sneaked out of your room, finally mustering up enough courage to ask your mother for advice. the thought of her discovering your blooming crush on noritoshi was scaring you. your parents were wary around the kamos despite working from them - even more so ever since noritoshi’s mother left and the elders had free reign over her son.

“noritoshi! noritoshi, stop walking away from me! hey, i’m talking to you!” you yelled frustrated as you were trying to keep up with him. noritoshi was crossing the garden in long strides, it was nearly impossible to stop him as you couldn’t catch up to him. you lunged forward, getting hold of his sleeve and tugged him back harshly. noritoshi yanked his arm out of your grip, glaring at you annoyed. 

“what do you want from me? i have better things to do than to quibble with you,” he hissed irritated. you couldn’t believe him, he had the nerve to dismiss you like this when he was in the wrong? 

“you know exactly what i want from you! you can’t just go around and talk to people like you did before just because they’re not from a reputable family! noritoshi, you’re not any better than them just because your last name is kamo.”

as much as noritoshi scared you, you stood your ground. you knew he didn’t take you serious, not with the amused look he gave you. in the past month or two, noritoshi was suddenly hit by a growth spurt - you barely reached his shoulder now and he took advantage of that to mock you, often treating you like an armrest. he pat your head condescendingly, pouting at you in fake regret. “aw, did i hurt your feelings? did i make itty bitty little y/n sad?” he mocked you, before abruptly grabbing your cheeks to make you look at him. “i don’t care what you think of me, cry all you want. i strongly suggest you hold that sharp tongue of yours if you know what’s good. know your place.” 

tears filled your eyes; noritoshi had never talked to you this way. what has gotten into him? your heart broke in pieces, unable to take the pain any longer. you were no longer his equal but below him, much like everyone else.

“mum?” you cautiously knocked at the door of her study, waiting for her response. your mother was most likely still awake and dealing with paperwork like she usually did. upon hearing the affirmative noise she made, you flitted inside, closing the door behind you so your father didn’t catch any wind of this. it was already embarrassing enough and you were sure your mother could offer you better advice. you gingerly took a seat on the armchair, grabbing a pillow and hugging it close to your body. how were you going to approach this? hey mum, i have a crush on noritoshi and he’s weird to me now and i don’t know why? uh yeah mum, i caught feelings for the guy you warned me about and now i look like a fool crawling up to you like this? 

“it’s about noritoshi, isn’t it?” your mother interrupted your stream of thought, spinning her swivel chair towards you. 

“huh? oh no it isn’t, why would it be? i have-” 

“y/n.” 

“ugh okay fine, maybe it is about him,” you sighed defeated, of course she would look right through you. she always seemed to know what you were thinking, even when you hadn’t confided in her before. “but promise me you won’t judge me!” the look in your mother’s eyes told you that she was going to judge you regardless but you knew she meant well - she simply wanted the best for you.

“i- i just don’t understand why he’s been such a pain in the ass lately. and he’s been treating everyone like dirt too, including me! mum, he’s becoming someone else and i… i don’t know what to do,” you sniffled inconsolably, wiping at your eyes with the sleeves of your sweater. she wasn’t supposed to see you getting emotional. “he’s always busy and when we do get to see each other, he doesn’t want to spend time with me. what if he doesn’t like me anymore? and i don’t like how he’s treating you! it’s the same issue with the elders, they don’t know any human decency at all!” 

your mother motioned you to scoot over a little and sat next to you, wrapping her arms around you and patting your back to console you. while she meant well, it accomplished the opposite - you broke down in tears, unable to stop your sobs. “i just want my ‘toshi back,” you whimpered upset, burying your face in the pillow to muffle the sound of you crying. “i know you didn’t like that i became good friends with him but i couldn’t help it and i just really like him and- you weren’t supposed to find that out.”

“sweetheart, i know you love noritoshi,” she handed you a tissue. “you let a lot more on than you were aware of; dad and me always knew you were in love with him.” as if on cue, your sobbing stopped and you just looked at her in disbelief. she knew. she knew. you wanted the earth to swallow you whole. “i think it was always pretty obvious, to be honest. you always looked at him as if he was your entire world and no matter what happened, you were always by his side. i know it’s hard to accept when a dear friend is changing but sometimes you just have to, right? both of you are still growing, there’s no way of telling how your personalities change.”

“but i don’t want him to change like this,” you protested stubbornly, glaring at her. she was talking about it as if it was a matter of simply discarding a bad apple in the trash. it wasn’t easy and it made you anxious. you grew up together, shared secrets and memories. he was the person you’d always looked up to.

“y/n.” your mother sounded stern but you didn’t back down, not yet. “is it really worth it? if a person is changing so rapidly and you’re not getting through to them, you’ll have to let it go. there’s only so much you can do. people grow apart sometimes, it’s only natural. you have to let go of them, temporarily, so you both can heal and grow. y/n, i know you’re being stubborn about this but you’ll have to let him figure things out on his own. fate has curious ways to bring people back together.”

when the time came, noritoshi left to attend the kyoto metropolitan curse tech school without telling you a word. you were disappointed, apparently you weren’t worth saying goodbye to. whatever his reason was, it must’ve been pretty important. important enough to forget the promise that you’d always stay in contact. you wondered whether he'd change again, for the better maybe? maybe you would reconcile when you could finally attend the school as well and train together. you were excited to show him your sword skills, having received your family's heirloom, an elegant steel blue sword. though your skills probably weren’t up to par with the other students, you still wanted to show them off, show him what you’d learned in the year that you spent apart.

noritoshi had changed but not for the better. holy shit, did he get on your nerves. the first time he'd practiced with you, you realized that he had mutated into an insufferable know-it-all. he would give you backhanded compliments or make snide remarks about your posture, how you were supposed to hold your sword, how inefficient your fighting style was. sometimes you wished you could just beat him for once and have him shut up. there was no denying though, noritoshi was way too strong and you had a long way to go. judging from the reactions of the others, barely anyone had beat him either. 

and just like that, your feelings for him were buried. you’d taken your mother’s advice to heart, keeping conversations and interactions with him to a minimum but somehow noritoshi always found his way to you. he was everywhere and a quarrel was inevitable. noritoshi got under your skin and he knew how to push your buttons. why he chose to pick on you was beyond your comprehension; he didn’t pay much attention to the other students nor was he particularly liked by them. just how much was he going to get on everyone else’s nerves? out of all the second years, todo aoi was the most amicable; you had the (dis)pleasure to run into him on your first day and for some reason, he took a liking to you. while he was loud and boisterous, mostly doing whatever he wanted, you couldn’t deny that he was a good friend. even though he didn’t care about anyone as much as he cared about takada-chan. at one point, he’d looked at you in sympathy when he caught you staring at noritoshi, patting your shoulder (too forceful): “i’m sorry, y/n, i’m so sorry.” 

you still didn’t know what he meant by that.

ps.: todo knows and he’s kinda judging you for your taste in men 

[friendofhayley]

I’m back after my hiatus from fanfiction, to give y’all the best multifandom recs of the fics I read this month. Shoutout to all content creators who helped us live to see the close of this year. This fic includes 15 fics for Sterek, Larry, Winteriron, and Geraskier. The starred ones put me through heaven and hell *chef’s kiss*.

Sterek (Teen Wolf)

1. Six Letter Word for Romance by @troubleiwant | domestic kink - omg there’s only one bed - soft Derek - oblivious idiots in love - 6k

Stiles definitely starts off thinking it’s fucking hilarious that Derek-sourwolf-Hale does crosswords and cares about scuffs on his furniture.

But at a certain point, and he can’t pinpoint exactly when, “fully functional adult couple” somehow becomes a massive fetish of his. Derek in sweats and bare feet, nudging his glasses up his nose while he does the Sunday crossword? Unff. Derek filling out forms to get some renovations on his property approved? Oh God, yes. Derek putting away groceries and bitching that the corner store was out of the right type of Greek yogurt? Take me now, Stiles thinks, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth.

This can’t be normal.

2. *Dirty Little Secret* by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | Cora & Stiles bffs - no one can resist the Stilinski charm - celebrity Derek - human au - 91k

“Holy shit, this is a date!” he blurted out, turning back to Derek wide-eyed. “This is a date! You intended for this to be a date, this was supposed to be a date!” He figured if he said it enough times, maybe he would believe it, but so far, no dice.

Derek was scowling again—seriously, did he want wrinkles?—but he just reached into one of the bags and pulled out a burger, checking what was written on the foil in sharpie before handing it over to Stiles.

“Of course it’s a date, what did you think this was?”

3. Can You Feel A Whole New Part of Your World? by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | i genuinely don’t look at authors names i just click i am sorry for spamming you but you write too good - neighbors Sterek - emotionally mature Stiles - the ideal fluffy world you’d want to live in - 53k

Can you hear me singing in the shower?” Stiles blurted out, because he had to know, now. If one of his neighbours had slid that note under his door, then it meant Parrish as another neighbour could hear him, too! He had to know if this was all a huge joke and one person had walked by and overheard him and decided to fuck with him.

Parrish gave him a weird look at the question, but answered anyway, making Stiles’ plans to leave the country speed up in his mind.

“Of course I can. You’re actually not bad. Though you have been singing a lot of Frozen lately, getting kind of tired of the soundtrack.”

4. Theory of Overprotective Canines by @petals42 | derek can turn into wolf - oblivious Stiles - future fic - mutual pining - 11k

Stiles is totally looking forward to living alone in his super cool apartment off-campus. He is. He is also very excited to bike to school every day, ready to set up an awesome game room, and definitely over his crush on Derek Hale. Completely over it.

Or at least he is until Derek decides he's moving in with him. And then turns out to be the perfect roommate. And then starts attending all his classes. As a wolf.

This is not going according to plan.

Larry (One Direction)

5. **The Changer and the Changed** by @homosociallyyours | literally the best fic of all time i want to live in there - girl direction - NYC ‘70s au - trans Zayn - the girls are so lovely - 59k

It’s the spring of 1977 and Harry Styles has just moved to New York City after graduating college. She knows she’s a lesbian. She just needs to figure out how to meet other lesbians.

Louis Tomlinson works at a popular women’s bookstore in the Lower East Side, Womon’s Direction, where she spends her days reading feminist literature, writing poetry, exchanging friendly barbs with her boss Niall, and dreaming of finding someone to love.

When Harry and Louis meet, their connection is instantaneous. Slowly but surely, Louis welcomes Harry into her community of women. Stonewall veteran and old school butch Niall; Liam, a land dyke who’s moved to the city for love; and Zayn, a lesbian musician who’s been ostracized by a vocal part of women’s community for being trans, welcome Harry with open arms, ready to help her find her place in New York City’s bustling lesbian scene.

6. others i’ve seen might never be mean (but they would never do) by @cherrylouvol6 | aaaaaaaa it’s lesbian When Harry Met Sally !!! - rom com - girl direction - coming out and first times - really great sex - 20k

Louis sighs.

“Do you remember what I said to you the first time we met?”

“That I’m naive and neurotic and would be hard pressed to ever find someone who could put up with me?” Harry snaps.

7. some things fade (some never do) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed | aaaaaa this story took me apart and back together again just like Louis and Harry - urban fantasy au - second chances - exes to friends to lovers - hurt/comfort - 25k

Matching tattoos. He’d never thought he’d be the type for tattoos to begin with, let alone matching or magical ones, but once Harry had put the idea in his mind it had never quite managed to disappear. And it had made sense. With their relationship a long distance one, this was simply another way of feeling close to one another. Of knowing where the other was, how they felt. It had made so much sense.

Back then.

8. we can take the long way home by @eleadore | i usually don’t rec my porn but there’s so much feels in this one - canon-divergent - kink discovery - friends to lovers - this was written in 2015 as a future fic but it felt like it was taking place now so good job - 27k

“Fertile,” Louis says, and then laughs because it sounds stupid to say out loud. He hasn’t ever really thought of himself in those terms. Baby-making terms. It’s just one of those things his body can do, like exercise, or go without tea. Doesn’t mean he will.

Winteriron (MCU)

9. **Dig No Graves** by @missaphelion | Tony finds out about his parents right after winter soldier au - Tony Stark has a heart - Bucky heals with bots and lots of sugar - slow burn - 142k

"I'm here to kill you, Terminator," Tony said slowly, "does that compute?"

The soldier looked up at him with wide blue eyes and no expression. "Okay."

Tony froze. "Okay," he echoed. "I tell you I came here to kill you and your response is 'okay'?"

10. A Rifling Matter by Penndragon27 | Winter Soldier has such a big crush on Tony’s weapons, he escapes Hydra au - identity porn - pining Bucky - fluff and angst - Winter Soldier is a fanboy and it’s cute - 37k

All the Asset knows is fighting, killing.

He also knows a good weapon when he sees one and Stark Industries... they make some great weapons.

11. *Winter is Coming (aka Fifty First Avengers Dates)* by @tisfan & @everyworldneedslove | enemies to friends to lovers to 50 first dates - pining Bucky - Tony gets amnesia - no Steve bashing but he’s a little bit of an ass - mental health issues - 109k

Bucky Barnes is still mostly The Asset, and he's pretty sure Hydra is going to come back for him soon, so in the meantime he's just going to keep an eye on the Avengers for them. But then Clint spotted him hiding in the shadows, so Tony came out and dragged Bucky back to the Tower, threw him in the shower, and fed him cheeseburgers.

Now The Asset is having anomalous feelings. In his pants.

Geraskier (The Witcher)

12. *no reason to run* by @yoursummerfrost | different meeting au - only one bed but camping - cursed Jaskier - soft Geralt!!!! - poly negotiations - 61k

"You'll change your mind one day," says the innkeep. "The road can't love you back."

What a strange way to flatten something so beautiful, Jaskier thinks. What a small way to love.

13. *He Fell into a Faerie Ring* by @geraltnoises | Jaskier gets bardnapped after the fight au - non-human Jaskier - soft Geralt - Jaskier encourages people to be kind and becomes a god - emotionally mature Geralt - 57k

Traders are a gossiping sort. If there was a scandal within the noble houses of Posada, you’d hear about it in Cretegor by the end of the week. So, the quick spread of a rumor about a little village in the Kestrel Mountain range was not at all surprising. What was surprising was the story that the traders wove. They said that Luibhtorrach, a sad, ghost of a farming town, had miraculously become a hub for trade, as if overnight. Their lands unbelievably fertile and brimming with crop. Even stranger, each and every one of Luibhtorrach’s people professed that their good fortune was the work of a mysterious beast they’d claimed as their personal deity. Most recent news foretold of their plans to throw a midsummer festival celebrating this newfound god. In preparation, silken blue banners were erected in every corner of the town, each bearing the symbol of their new patron: A delicate dandelion wrapping around a golden sun.

14. Barking Up the Wrong Tree by KHansen | 5+1 things - I’m worried about Geralt’s skills - non-human Jaskier - monsterfucker Geralt - crack treated seriously - 11k

Geralt is 100% certain that Jaskier is a vampire.

He's 100% proven wrong.

15. Bardic Idyll by Lisztful | fake relationship - Geralt is soft and oblivious - pining - fluff and angst - Jaskier you can’t show your emotions mainly through song! - 13k

Jaskier is certain he can win the Continent's annual bardic competition, but he needs to be accompanied by a dashing romantic companion in order to enter. Enter Geralt, who is definitely, for sure, only interested in the free food, and not at all in staring lovingly into Jaskier's eyes.

[widevibratobitch]

you have an eating disorder. you know this. you know you need to gain weight, because you are sick. you are sick and underweight and suffering.

if you were a stray cat, I'd feed you.

i won't patronize you. but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else. you are sick, you have a mental illness, and you need help.

i hope you can keep singing. if nothing else, do it for that. eat so you can sing.

i love you. take care.

okay putting the answer under the cut cuz it's gonna be full of disordered thoughts (yes, i am aware of that), ed talk and yeah, internalised fatphobia which is Bad, and also because i dont wanna spam people's dashes with my bullshit even more than i already do.

first of all, thank you so much for this, anon, I appreciate it, I really, genuinely do. Thank you. BUT. i am not underweight.

i WISH i were because then it wouldn't be such an issue. that's the problem. i started out fat and like, fuck the BMI but just to paint the picture - after xx kg down i am still balancing on the line between "normal" and overweight. if i gain weight now, im gonna just be fat again.

and i dont want to ever go back to how i was before mostly because of how people treated me then and the comments i had to deal with. i dont wanna ever hear again that im either 'pretty for a fat girl' or 'too pretty to be fat', or that id look like [conventionally attractive blonde celebrity] if i just lost some weight. im tired of being afraid of eating in public or going shopping with my skinny friends and not being able to find a piece of fabric that fits me.

i hear so many compliments now, about how great i look and how it's good that i finally started taking care of myself (lmao sike). to so many people around me my eating disorder is a story of success and self-discipline - because i was fat and now i'm not so obviously that's a gOoD cHaNgE. and if i recover (and yes, there is no recovery without weight gain) - it's gonna be viewed as a failure.

life as a fat girl is SO much more difficult. it just is. it's a fact. people treat you differently. i've lived my whole life like that and ive suffered from it since i was a kid. i dont think i could ever go back, especially knowing now how nice it feels to live in a smaller body.

as for my singing. idk. im thigh-deep in shit rn. no matter what i do, i'll be miserable. i am miserable rn so even if i do nothing, i'll still be miserable lmao it sucks. it just sucks.

if you've made it here, thank you for your concern, i really truly do appreciate it. i hope you have a great day and thank you again. ilyt

[anntidote]

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*. 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

i made this blog in july of 2020, and only started writing & posting in september. ever since then, i have already written over 70(?) pieces for the hq community, made a handful of friends, and everything seems to have snowballed since. i’ve seen so much sappy shit on my dash and it honestly makes me sick— but i’m truly thankful. here’s my lil spiel ♡

♡ my followers & misc readers.

thank you for taking the time to click on a post. notes, reblogs, comments— let alone, actually reading it. the fact that you enjoy and spend time reading my content, makes my day.

i can still recall the first requests i recieved and first couple notes i got. i cried because i didn’t think my writing was anything that anyone would pay attention to— but now, a couple notes is a daily thing. although i definitely don’t take it for granted— i really do appreciate you all. whether you’re loud as shit in my inbox or a silent reader. thank you.

you have no idea how much you all mean to me, and how much your support has impacted me through the latter half of 2020. let’s walk brighter paths together this year <3

and hopefully y’all get laid cuz holy shit y’all are horn KNEE sheesh

i’m honestly not any better LMAO

♡ my moots. (i might miss a couple of ya but shh ily all the same)

@liberhoe​ — you ass, thank you for being literally the most interactive/extroverted bih i know. whether it’s me- teasing you about upcoming fic ideas or your thirsts on a libero- i treasure these moments. fuck you thank you for making me **error** throughout the time i’ve been here... also, go drink some water.

@ceo-of-daichi​ — lydz!! thank you for always answering my unique social sunday asks and always being so kind. your voice is always soothing, and i hope you n daichi are spending some quality time together rn c;

@knightofameris​ — Y O U. you kind ass mofo >:( i hope you’re taking care of yourself. thank you for always being so so so so so so so caring towards me, and always tagging me in those cute lil games! i swear i’ll do them soon— but the spam likes got me buried like an animal crossing fossil 😔 anyway, i hope this year brings you better circumstances <3 muah

@atsumoon​ — HANA!! i hope you’re doing well, darling <3 it’s been a hot second but thank you for always checking up on me once n awhile. sending virtual hugs c:

@prettysetterbaby​ — jj, i’m going to fight tumblr because i’ve been trying to be your friend for so goddamn long LOL but i’m glad i’m being given a shot here. thank you for being so open with me, and not telling me i looked like a literal CHILD when i sent the matchup photos LMAOOOO love ya <3 may we become better friends this year !

@stelleum​ — holy shit i still cant believe we’re moots- um okay- d e a d a s s may i say; you, afton (also my moot but im too scared to interact cuz im a clown), saz, and another writer are the reason why i started writing for the hq fandom um- thank you for inspiring me and [most likely] a bunch of other writers in the fandom. although i’m not the most extroverted person in interacting, i want to thank you as one of your readers (and now your moot i guess ahaha *error*) for writing, as i truly enjoy what you put out. <3 stay healthy.

@soft-for-shoyo​ — IT’S GOD SAZ!! i’m sorry i haven’t been interacting a lot,,, i’m not exactly the most extroverted moot but congrats on the success on your december event! i don’t lurk i swearrrr *cough* much love & happy new year !!

@hisoka-married-illumi​ — i just became your moot and your chaos is very much welcome heh i’ve seen you in my motifs and have always wanted to interact but i’m 👉👈 so i’m very happy we’re moots now LMAO thank you for the kindness you’ve shown me and the fact you even read my trash content <3

@jeongccr​ — should i even consider you a moot? LOL you’re more of my son than a moot. thank you for always putting up with my bullshit when it comes to me fangirling about music. as a fellow army, i cant wait to bootleg more concerts with you- and i hope we’ll be able to see the boys live again this year. here’s to making more memories <3

♡ myself (brutally honest)

let’s do better and do more. i know you’re still miserable from losing a year or so of your childhood to something you can’t control- and that fact that you’ve gone through so much loss this year- i know you’re strong and capable of so much more. let’s keep our chin up, and remember where you came from. lias told us we’re the protagonists of the world, so let’s make it a reality.  

[lostinfantasies38]

Having a minor existential crisis today. 

My oldest daughter’s 16th birthday is today. My son graduated high school early in December and is considering the military as a career option when he turns 18 in a few months. And my youngest is 2 and experiencing sleep regression, which means everyone in the house is fucking sleep deprived — all the time. 

Emotions are running high, which is strange because I truly thought I would have a better handle on things as they moved into their adult lives, but it turns out that I am really, really not. Most days I question my abilities as a mom, wondering if I’ve done enough to prepare them for the real world, while hoping they don’t forget that being independent doesn’t mean I won’t help, if they ever need it. 

I am aware that I made some major mistakes in the past — courtesy of having my oldest kids when I was barely older than they are now. Though, I like to think they’re pretty damn good people and that I didn’t screw them up too badly. In a couple of years, the oldest two will be off doing their own things, but the house won’t be empty. There is still a third tiny human (and the last) to help grow into who she’s going to be. I can only hope I don’t let her down, either.

[Sorry for spamming everyone’s dash with my weepy monologue, but I had to get it off my chest.] 

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Liam

aleeunayzhun: anyone else think the ‘monster’ addition was totally unnecessary and has taken away from what was a mildly intriguing ARG concept beforehand?

aleeunayzhun: 🙄 back on the trail for a new rabbithole to fall down

level26: Yeah, axed it for me

aleeunayzhun: the paranormal route can be alright if it’s done right but usually it ain’t and then it’s a cop-out, PM definitely didn’t think where they were going with this

aleeunayzhun: the ones that rely on the real world but twist it are always scarier to me, no one ever has the balls to stick with it, to not throw in some bullshit ghost jumpscares to get the idiots with

level26: creepypasta is where it ends up with barely no exceptions

aleeunayzhun: mhmm

aleeunayzhun: and no one has shanked their mate over anything on there in time

level26: got a few I’ll volunteer if the next 🐇 is more of this or promo again

aleeunayzhun: If one more shitty band thinks throwing out some binary or morse code makes them any less shit, I’ll join you

level26: dednah tfel neve t'nia ylbaborp yeht

aleeunayzhun: imij erew yeht hsiw yeht

level26: 👅💔🍆💔🎸💔

aleeunayzhun: 💔 they reckon hot groupies hang about on reddit

level26: trolls are their groupies, they can only be fuelled by edgy r/hate 🤘

aleeunayzhun: awh, r/hate is only a degree away from r/love after-all

level26: just like that, a plotline that’d be less crap than [whatever this ARG we’re slagging off is called]

aleeunayzhun: not gonna start my annoying beg promo in here quite yet but how hard was that, really

level26: us both being spam bots is still a better twist than the monster did it

aleeunayzhun: Привет, дорогая, хочешь увидеть мои сексуальные фотки? Hажмите ссылку СЕЙЧАС! [‘Hello dear, do you want to see my sexy pictures? Click the link NOW!’ And a link to god knows what lmao]

level26: NO soundcloud rapper link?! 💀 what an r/cockblock

aleeunayzhun: how’d you guess 😏

level26: my paranormal powers kicked in, clicking that link must’ve leveled me up

aleeunayzhun: advert for communism? 🤔🤫

level26: find me and my sick beats on r/motherrussia

aleeunayzhun: MK Ultra is definitely taken by about 1000 other shit DJs

aleeunayzhun: and is the poorly executed plot of several other ARGs I’ve also given up on

level26: KM Extra is my personal fave shit DJ, really doing something

aleeunayzhun: the fact I genuinely know who that is 😷😷

level26: I noclipped into his set at [somewhere she would have heard of even if she’s not been] talk about an eldritch location

aleeunayzhun: you must’ve felt like the only player in a crowd of NPCs 🧟‍♀️🧠💀🧟‍♂

level26: close enough to the review I would’ve left

aleeunayzhun: I’ll leave it

aleeunayzhun: I know the coordinates

level26: I’ll 👀 out for it

level26: you on moscow standard time or one of the other 10?

aleeunayzhun: I’m the Russian spy, I hack you, comrade

level26: ❤️ tôi cũng cam kết với chính nghĩa cộng sản ❤️ [with some link to the Communist Party of Vietnam because we’re saying we’re as committed to communism]

aleeunayzhun: [links to the Communist Party of Ireland to be like obvs we have both worked out we’re actually from here

level26: cracked the code, like, full props to KM Extra

aleeunayzhun: Only in Dubo would that shit fly

level26: they’d eat his head off outside the pale, yeah, galway’d be having none of it

aleeunayzhun: what they got but a bunch of rocks though

level26: easy pick for the murder weapon

aleeunayzhun: you’d never get far enough in the guinness factory to drown someone in a vat 💔

level26: could do if you got a job as manager and closed for essential maintenance

aleeunayzhun: 💡

aleeunayzhun: won’t do no harm to the taste

level26: iron boost if he’s bleeding heavily when he goes in

aleeunayzhun: delicious and nutritious

level26: ARG coming soon from guinness

aleeunayzhun: bastards better give credit

level26: they can have it, we’re not short of ideas

aleeunayzhun: and you ain’t heard nothing yet

aleeunayzhun: not making it that easy for the wannabe PMs with none of their own

aleeunayzhun: 🔐the real ones

level26: fair play, given enough freebies out in this thread

aleeunayzhun: 🤐

aleeunayzhun: [later on though definitely some way to contact her privately but in a way that you’ve got to work it out of course]

level26: [at least then we can switch to y’all’s names ‘cause I can’t think of a username for the life of me lol]

Edie: [You can add it later and change it, it’s fine lol]

Liam: 🔓

Edie: 1 🔑 for 1 💎

Edie: Suitably impressed

Liam: if I knew anywhere that loaded a 💎 into the gun I’d be off but what’s impressive about a swollen and green ear

Edie: Impressive, no; but good footage for the game? Absolutely

Liam: I’d do it here to have time to mess about with all the lighting and angles

Edie: you’re 🎥

Edie: not enough have actual artistic merit so fair play

Liam: but thinking about it, recording the conveyor belt of a trainee stabbing holes in screaming babies ears all day could have some merit to it, maybe I should get myself up

Edie: you can buy anything and everything from bezos

Edie: live your dreams

Liam: putting my dreams on tape would be worse than the monster reveal

Liam: cheapest jumpscares and effects

Edie: not to mention outing yourself to the whole thread, not just me

Liam: how many teachers would crawl out the woodwork if there was a mass reveal

Edie: to offer you the school’s stellar mental health services

Edie: the one nurse phoning it in

Liam: find my dad lurking on the thread too, that’d be a trip

Edie: unexpectedly wholesome

Edie: I’ll start hiding caches where my dad hides his stashes

Edie: unintentional rhyme

Liam: bars 🎼

Edie: @ KM Extra

Liam: Fachtna to his ma who thinks he’s a saint

Edie: Oof

Edie: ARG concept no. ? the horror of the Irish language

Liam: my ma would be 😱 if I went and hugged her for not doing me that wrong

Edie: not the audience we aim to 😱 really

Liam: too easy

Edie: almost as easy as your name to spell and say

Edie: you even from here 👽

Liam: wouldn’t take enough working out to set you as a test, records are basically lying about

Edie: nothing relating to school is a challenge

Liam: just getting that nurse to give a shit

Edie: if she reckons she’s 👀 it all…

Liam: front row of our intended audience

Edie: splash zone

Liam: she’s never off her phone, spy like you won’t have no problem hacking it

Edie: her nudes = actual monstrosity

Liam: dunno what Mr Doyle sees in her

Edie: yeah, he’s such a looker himself, like

Liam: his wife used to be pretty fit

Edie: don’t matter when she explains how and why people cheat

Edie: psychobabble gets ‘em off every time

Liam: if they taught psychology nobody’d be off each other or learning anything then

Edie: sounds like any other standard schoolday

Liam: that's what they’re getting up to in your class, is it

Edie: as cliche as the monster, yeah

Liam: 🔥🏫

Edie: hear hear

Edie: got to make the endless fire drills worth it one day

Liam: can’t miss me standing in line or not

Edie: then I won’t

Liam: next false alarm I pull

Edie: + 💎

Liam: + 👀

Liam: dont have to hate every cliche

Edie: not the good ones

Edie: all about how you use or misuse them

Liam: can you overuse eye contact

Edie: I can

Liam: I can make a kubrick stare work however many takes you wanna do

Edie: you don’t think I’m a one-take 🌟

Liam: I’ve not shot you

Edie: 🤯🔫

Liam: I’m not a one-take 📷📹

Edie: is that a brag for not suffering from premature ejaculation?

Liam: do you need that reassurance

Edie: I don’t know

Liam: I’ll think about other unsexy shit if your eyes start getting to me too much

Edie: Ha, yeah right

Edie: just don’t think about the 🔥

Liam: 🚒 buzzkill

Edie: 🚓 cockblock

Liam: 🚑 scene stealers

Edie: 🛸 out of here

Liam: before you can get stuck there as a 👻

Edie: Purgatory is preferable to that place forever

Liam: stay alive and it’s simple to get out of 🏫

Edie: I’ll leave my bag behind

Edie: 1st rule and only, really

Liam: don’t really need a pile of textbooks

Edie: I doubt that’s what you carry

Edie: I know I don’t

Liam: I can get more of what I do and I bet you could too

Edie: Bars

Liam: 😏

Edie: You’ve promo’d him a lot if you ain’t him

Edie: KM, like

Edie: bit sus

Liam: you said you know who he is, you know I ain’t

Liam: maybe I love him or some gay shit

Edie: none of his tracks sound like love songs

Liam: guess he don’t love me back

Edie: Oh honey

Edie: lock him in when you set the fire

Liam: he can keep spitting out those fuck yous til the end

Edie: dedication ✊

Liam: and +++ for morale

Edie: what a lad

Liam: love triangle is a cliche too far, take a deep breath or something

Edie: bit possessive

Liam: directors are dicks

Edie: and the heartbroken

Liam: yeah, couldn’t be kind to you if I wanted

Edie: I’ll survive

Edie: you’ve given me the heads up, I’ll give you the 👀

Liam: respect killing me with your 👀 and taking him for yourself

Edie: who could blame me

Liam: my ma as I’m dead, like

Edie: true

Edie: i’ll avoid her at the tescos

Liam: 🛒 dash

Edie: got a selection of my own

Edie: [picture because the random crap you would have in the barns lmao]

Liam: [a picture of one he stole at some point that’s on fire or been blown up or whatever]

Edie: 👏

Edie: what else can we 💥

Liam: got any barns you don’t use

Liam: or 🚜 stuff

Edie: loads

Edie: if you’re lucky, I’ll leave another 🔑

Liam: got another ear to put a 💎 in, luck’s gonna run out beyond it

Edie: sounds like some gay shit, you should

Liam: 👌

Liam: [pics when we’ve done this because of course we have, casually raiding either your mother or sister’s jewellery stashes here like]

Edie: Oh

Edie: actually looks kinda sick

Edie: you’re welcome then

Liam: I’ll send the footage when I’ve edited it

Edie: I look forward to it

Edie: I can’t give you any clues

Liam: what makes you think I need em

Edie: [idk how to differentiate but clearly the clue to where you live needs to be much harder to find and then decode lmao]

Liam: [awkward when he blatantly already knows where you live]

Edie: [do not even need to do the work, whoops]

Liam: [convincingly pretend you are though please]

Edie: [thank god he’s not a murderer even if he is a stalker, just giving out this info willynilly]

Liam: [not your stalker, it’s FINE]

Edie: [oh dear oh dear]

Edie: I’ll know when you work it out

Liam: yeah, I’ll show up 📷📹🌾

Liam: or send a 📦💣 if you wanna take things slow

Edie: you decide

Edie: I’ll shake all the packages extra hard

Liam: cancel the real 🐇 I thought about

Edie: animal cruelty is lamer than bed wetting

Liam: never even tipped a 🐄

Edie: they’ll appreciate it

Edie: anyway, if you did, punishment is letting them kick you in the face so you lose in the end

Liam: head injury’s a win if I get caught for the 🔥🏫 or being seen staring in your window

Edie: 😍🤤 just serial killer things

Liam: pretend I didn’t say KM’s gonna be my 1st victim

Edie: I’ll never feel special otherwise

Liam: you don’t feel special knowing I cracked your code

Edie: if anything, it makes you look smart and me not smart enough

Liam: you’re smart enough that I wanted to

Edie: I’m not going to ruin it with a cliche jumpscare now

Liam: me either, you’re smart enough too to see me coming

Edie: and you’re tall, so I hear

Liam: dunno where from, my dad’s not

Edie: he’s definitely your dad?

Edie: I may as well accuse your ma because I’m already avoiding her for the whole killing you thing

Liam: don't act like it which probably means he is

Edie: ha, real talk

Edie: I think you might be taller than mine

Edie: he’s 6’2

Liam: ha, I am

Edie: you’re the tallest person in school, possibly town

Edie: definite 👽

Liam: taking their time parking the ufo and picking me up, typical dad

Edie: did they forget ET or leave him here on purpose

Edie: he was fucking annoying

Liam: if I looked that much like a ballsack I’d understand

Edie: 😂

Edie: least you’d get to get fucked up with baby Drew Barrymore

Liam: baileys on cereal does taste sick, always down for that

Edie: yum

Edie: what do your fingers look like

Liam: [a video of his hands from lots of angles like hello]

Edie: hot

Edie: you can call me Elliot

Liam: or just call you instead of home

Edie: 😎 so smooth

Liam: what’s my ma gonna say, get back, talking to you is smarter

Edie: I’ve got time to set up the voice distorter so you’re not disappointed by the lack of crEEEEeeeEPpPPpyyyyYy vibes

Liam: and I’ll have loads of time to hear how you sound without it when I stake your house out

Edie: I’ll be sure to be loud

Edie: and not chat total inane shit with my family

Liam: you got your own room

Edie: technically not

Edie: but there are other rooms and places to crash in, when I wanna be alone

Liam: there’s my excuse to zoom in creeEEPpILY close 👀 when you’re not

Edie: very awkward and even ruder if you confused me for my sister

Edie: no one’s done that for ages

Liam: how were they ever doing it

Edie: we’re both the white ones, they just didn’t know which was which

Liam: can’t be a hard code to crack, not gonna be confusing you for anyone

Edie: good

Edie: it was pretty annoying

Edie: and I’m already your second victim as it is

Liam: partner in crime, or groupie to mine if you’re not getting actively involved, but still standing at the end

Edie: hope you’re writing some of these down

Edie: ‘cos I’m not gonna be your groupie

Edie: got my own scores to settle, own havoc to wreak

Liam: don’t need to write down I don’t want you to die, I’ll remember

Edie: it rhymed though

Edie: I’ll steal your lines then

Liam: write as many songs about me as you want, be your groupie til I get 🛸✌️

Edie: [send your music links because you ain’t]

Edie: give me a sec to do yours but pretend any of these are about you

Liam: this is you

Liam: serious

Edie: yeah

Edie: if I was gonna lie I’d have done that a few steps ago

Liam: I’m gonna lie they’re all about me

Edie: that’s what serious meant

Liam: it meant I’m impressed and you’re downplaying how smart you are

Edie: you can be my hypeman and overplay it

Liam: [does by uploading this edited ear piercing escapade with whatever song of hers we like and fits the vibe playing in it, giving her credit because we’re not a heathen and also putting on his stories that he’s listening to these tracks and hyping them how you can]

Edie: [so 😍 over this but trying to be chill somehow and somewhat even though we’re extra af anyway]

Edie: maybe I do wanna be your groupie

Edie: what do you want from me

Edie: like, I owe you and I want to give you something too, ‘cos

Edie: talking to you IS interesting

Edie: and not just because I could be talking to my ma or someone else really boring instead just ‘cos you are

Liam: [for real though her views would definitely go up cos the vibe is he knows loads of people through his sister but also through his weird vids and the raves and stuff he goes to now too so]

Liam: all I want’s to keep talking to you, for as long as you’re into it

Liam: people don’t unless we’re off our faces, like

Edie: my notifications are popping off rn

Edie: I know what you mean though, everyone’s too scared to say or do anything when they don’t have something to blame it on, like being stupid or weird or whatever the fuck actually matters

Edie: more than being bored and alone

Liam: dunno what they’re more scared of, what they wanna ask or how I’m gonna answer, least I know what the topic’ll be

Liam: every convo I have is a loop

Edie: all anyone ever cares about and knows is the headlines

Edie: as if there aren’t countless hours minutes seconds before and after the big events they all 👀 and 👂

Liam: work out sweet for you as a headliner

Edie: Getting them to talk about what I’m doing instead of whatever my parents and the rest of the fucking fam did or do is the goal

Liam: with me hyping you up, no bother, keep knocking out hits and I’ll promo em with no trace of binary or morse code

Edie: and you make films

Edie: I wasn’t sure if you were pissing about at first

Edie: every other person in that thread is an aspiring filmmaker so

Liam: did put me off for a while

Edie: Yours aren’t going to be bad Blair Witch ripoffs though

Edie: I can say that much without seeing

Edie: even the stuff you’ve sent today is dope

Liam: do you wanna see

Edie: yes

Liam: [link her cos I doubt all the weird shit is just there chilling on your insta or whatever]

Edie: [just casually watching all of this nbd]

Liam: siht ekil kool annog weiver ruoy

Liam: или, может быть, это

Edie: hoặc tôi có thể làm như thế này [‘or I could do it like this’]

Edie: si ffuts ruoy kniht i looc woh edih annaw tnod i tub

Liam: ba mhó an spraoi é a cheilt agus a lorg go pearsanta [hide and seek would be more fun in person]

Edie: If you’ve worked out where I live like you say

Edie: be fair and count to 100

Liam: you reckon you made it that easy do you

Liam: be cool if you added some 00s to that and gave me a fair chance

Edie: no, you could still be anyone

Liam: someone to be scared of, yeah I probably am

Edie: Do you want me to be scared of you

Liam: nah

Edie: Good because I’m not and I never promised I was a 🌟 so

Liam: 🤩 with or without promises

Edie: How have I never spoke to you before

Edie: so weird

Liam: I wouldn’t have known what to say to a girl like you

Edie: You seem like you’re coping fine to me

Liam: from behind a keyboard I can cope with anything

Edie: You’re not afraid of me either

Liam: not yet

Edie: What do you think I’m like?

Liam: smart, creative, nice to talk to and look at

Edie: then you’ve got nothing to be afraid of

Liam: I’ve got nothing, that’s bang on

Edie: I’m not trying to take anything from you

Edie: but I could throw those compliments back to you x 10000

Liam: you don’t like possessive, I ain’t gonna tell you what to do

Edie: I didn’t say that

Edie: you could claim better than a soundcloud DJ though

Liam: been waiting to hear that compliment specifically

Edie: 😏

Edie: You look like you’d be a fuckboy

Edie: that’s what I thought

Edie: you’re that good-looking

Liam: if I was the game’d be making you think I wasn’t, which is kinda where we are

Edie: True

Edie: so I’m that dumb or you’re that good, what are we going for?

Liam: you’re smart enough to play dumb, I don’t think I can aim for god tier puppet mastery of anyone’s emotions

Edie: I can see the appeal of that

Edie: closing you eyes to thing you don’t wanna see, to see the things you do

Edie: but mine are wide open

Liam: I ain’t mad, there’d be no appeal to yours being closed, unless you drop bars in your sleep too

Edie: you’re gonna find which window is mine and find out, yeah

Liam: wake you up before you name drop KM as it’s MY thing

Edie: that’s your man, I can respect it

Liam: exclusivity is a + for you then, I’m taking notes

Edie: I don’t really know

Edie: everyone’s lame

Liam: I’ve been there, yeah

Edie: I can’t fake enthusiasm for the sake of it

Liam: it’s a shite idea, doable or not

Edie: I don’t intend to

Edie: 🤞

Liam: can’t think why you’d have to

Edie: I won’t make you promise

Liam: what’ll you make me do

Edie: I want you to show

Edie: and be real and not just go ghost after this

Edie: but I don’t know if you will and I know you might

Liam: be a short afterlife, we don’t get american summers

Edie: we both got the capabilities, but I can promise not to stalk you if you like

Edie: if you want to stick to usernames and anonymity

Liam: not working out where you are to prove I can and a face in the window haunting wouldn’t even impress any dads lurking on the thread

Edie: Alright but I’d be more inclined to keep a secret if you asked opposed to all the dads

Liam: I wouldn’t wanna keep anything we do secret

Edie: Yeah?

Liam: if this is a scam I’m falling for everyone’ll see why and if it’s not I’m gonna document everything

Edie: I won’t ask for your credit card details even once

Edie: This is… different

Edie: isn’t it

Liam: you can have my ma’s, you’re avoiding her and the big tescos

Liam: I don’t know what this is, I wasn’t expecting you at the end of any of those links

Edie: It IS the least she could do

Edie: If I had a guess, you weren’t it

Edie: Even though you mentioned Dubo, it isn’t that small of a town

Liam: ha, how livid you’d be if I was another american coming here for the culture

Edie: not close enough to st patrick’s that I was worried

Liam: how did you feel

Edie: I thought no way it was you at first

Edie: and then I couldn’t believe it was you

Edie: and then that I should’ve known you sooner

Edie: what about you?

Liam: I still can’t believe it’s you, I would’ve tried to chat to you sooner if I knew this is how it’d go

Edie: I’m glad we are now

Edie: and I’ve not fucked it up

Liam: if the small world’s not fucked it up, you won’t

Edie: like you said, be shit if you were in America

Liam: be crap if you were anyone else from school, like you said

Edie: If it was anyone else from school

Edie: this convo would be well over by now

Liam: it’s the longest I’ve had for years

Edie: It’s all so surface level, right

Edie: fuck that

Edie: I wanna know more about you, I don’t care if I shouldn’t just say that

Liam: what do you wanna know

Edie: Hmm

Edie: Do I only get the one question?

Edie: Because I’ll think more carefully if so

Liam: nah, there’s no limit on it

Edie: Cool

Edie: so how was your day, and what were you doing just before you went on the forum?

Liam: [send her a video of some rave or whatever you were at because it’s summer bitches]

Liam: + 3-4 hours sleeping

Edie: Lucky

Edie: where’d you sleep and where’s the weirdest place you’ve got + 3-4 hours sleep before?

Liam: [send her some of the blooper-esque stuff you cut out to make it look more fun than it is, cos we know you’re usually bored]

Liam: home, I can’t 💤 in random xD places but I could call your dad short and maybe have him in a fight

Edie: that’s hot

Edie: he could’ve been there and you coulda tested that theory

Edie: but I wanna be there when you do

Liam: you’d have a shite view from the stage with lights blinding you, can’t let on how talented you are while we’re there

Edie: 😶

Edie: he’s not old so it’s not on a par with animal abuse lameness

Liam: and if I get carried away you can stop me

Edie: can I

Edie: + skill points

Liam: 🎶 works on monsters

Edie: have to find a way to get you home before the 💤 hits

Edie: so cute 🥺

Liam: mine or yours

Edie: 😳

Edie: I’ll protect you while you sleep, see if you can at mine

Liam: I can’t if you’re 👀

Edie: that might be a problem

Liam: how long can you not blink for

Edie: [send a vid of an attempt]

Liam: can I keep this

Edie: ‘course

Edie: use it if you can

Liam: when you write a song about me it’ll need a vid

Edie: I’ve started

Edie: I think by the time you find me, it’ll be done

Liam: people who don’t know you are gonna think I edited your eyes that colour

Edie: hashtag they’re real 😏

Liam: the girl who said she had an operation as a kid’s the real you

Edie: 😂

Edie: they were going rouge and I’ve repressed those memories

Liam: what were you doing before you logged on

Edie: not at a rave, sadly

Edie: I was masterminding a sabotage though, trying to anyway

Liam: don’t leave it there giving me no details

Edie: it isn’t even bad ARG plot worthy

Edie: but my sister has her gross boyfriend over and I need to ruin their fun, obviously, because they are unbearable

Edie: easiest way to do that is make them babysit the twins because there’s nothing fun about 9 year olds

Edie: so I convinced ma to go out on a date, but I still need to get my brother out the way and he’s a massive nerd who never goes anywhere so I’m stumped

Liam: we could have fun with it, gotta be a route to go down that’s not just ripping off the shining again

Liam: a nerd how, he’s on mastermind and his subject is _

Edie: 🪓 is just a prop, honest

Edie: bones, not in a cool way

Edie: History, all that old shit

Liam: [obviously find some kind of obscure af exhibit or book signing or something that he’d potentially be interested in and send her the deets because sleuthing is what you do boy]

Edie: OMG but genuinely

Edie: you are too good at this, I’ll have to keep you around

Liam: stashed with the 🪓

Edie: if you fit

Edie: He’ll actually go to this, for sure

Edie: 🐓🚫

Liam: keep what you figure’s useful and chop off the rest 🧩🧟

Edie: 😋

Edie: what an offer

Edie: and I do need to keep busy so I can’t be asked to step in

Edie: not that I’d say yes

Liam: busy like with a 🧭

Edie: go on

Liam: [god knows what scavenger hunt he’s sending you on gal that he apparently just has ready at the drop of a hat but here we are]

Edie: [live your best nerd lives]

Liam: [really hope these clues aren’t something he was gonna torment your sister with, because no thank you]

Edie: [lmao i hope it wouldn’t translate so easy ‘cos imagine]

Liam: [it definitely wouldn’t but a hardcore blag happening here regardless, I like to think you were actually coming up with this for her while you were pretending to work out her address that you already know]

Edie: [that’s a solid shout ‘cos yeah that is a thing lol]

Edie: [definitely sending you the demo of this song at the end as a prize because we’re beyond 😍 now]

Liam: [likewise even though he’s trying to downplay how 😍 he is to himself rn because it’s so weird that she’s Rio’s sister and that he actually also likes her in her own right so we’re fully !?]

Liam: [nevertheless trying to think of something creepy but cool he could send to her house so she knows he knows where it is and that we think this demo is amazing obviously, maybe it’s lots of other people’s shit musical endeavours like KM that we’ve set on fire and otherwise destroyed in creative ways like you’ve slayed the competition gal since cds and tapes are back baby idk]

Edie: [I wonder if I can find something like that to post hmm to pinterest I go]

Liam: [love the visual of you just sneakily dropping off a massive box of melted plastic without anyone seeing you]

Edie: [you’re clearly good lmao, I was thinking we could do a convo with Billie between this and the next one though]

Liam: [good idea boo, I’m up for that]

[pocmuzings]

rpc... it’s time we talked about this... honesty hours / days in group rps

i want to start this off by saying this is NOT just up to the admins to take care of, and i actually hate the idea that admins will SPECIFY that in order to receive anons you should send some out and its still ignored.

tldr for what im about to say: yall fucking SUCK at honesty hours/ honesty days

the last four BIG group rps i’ve been in have had honesty hours / honesty days. this is SO much fun and so amazing, and it can create such a laugh, or character development, or even just a lightness to the rp!! i highly encourage and adore honesty hours / honesty days!!

in all four of these rps, the majority of anons i’ve see on the dash have been... from myself. i’m not tooting my own horn or anything, but no joke- i hate anybody feeling excluded and will go onto so many different accounts, and spam out to AS MANY PEOPLE AS I CAN questions, because i think everybody else will do the same. maybe i have high standards. but how fucking disheartening and just SAD is it to see, that everyone seems to be putting up links, begging for questions, and the only anons / qs  i see are ones I’VE SENT OUT because nobody else is sending anybody questions.

to put it plainly, y’all are fucking selfish when it comes to honesty hours and honesty days. you will put up your own links, and then just la de da, skip off into the sunset and expect your box to be filled, but not send anything to anyone, or send two qs out to your friends or a muse you find hot.

this is AWFUL. it makes me SO FUCKING MAD. 

now i totally get that real lives can get in the way, or being mobile can be really hard to see whos posting what, and when... but if YOU ARE PUTTING UP A LINK, ASKING FOR ANONS, THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS SEND AT LEAST YOUR HOURLY LIMIT OF TEN ASKS OUT IN RETURN. thats all!! i’m not saying you need to spam out accounts like i do, or wait until the hour refreshes and then go again. i’m just saying, we all in the rpc need to get better at this. we need to send out things instead of just asking for things all the time. it is NOT the admins job to remind us to give out questions in order to receive some. we are not in kindegarten and learning how to share. do NOT put up a link to ur inbox if u are not willing / able to send anything in return!!

I KNOW YOU MAY ASK- but g, its so hard to think of qs! or- this person only just joined the rp! i don’t know anything about them, so what on earth would i send them? YOU ARE RIGHT TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS!!! coming up with questions can be so hard. not every one of them needs to be super serious and character hitting. you can send something dumb like ‘what are your five fave songs at the moment?’, or if you REALLY can’t think of anything, i highly recommend just looking over HERE. there are so many questions. you can literally just copy and paste any q from that tag, and send them to people. IT’S THAT EASY!!!

if you want qs, send some out. i’m sick of being the only one actually sending qs out in group rps, and i’m sure many others feel the same way about group rps THEY’RE in. i’m sick of spamming and spamming, and coming back to my inbox to one question in return. y’all will happily and greedily take anything you can, but you won’t ever return the favour, and this needs to change. the rpc has a lot of problems and issues, but i’m hoping this is at least ONE (1) we can actually work on solving without too much discourse. 

[weecoins]

The Trader

8/29

                Oh, what a day. Finally signed the Smorf deal. 50,000 rupees a week for a year. For exclusive rights to my snot. Christ was old man Smorf hot for the stuff. Sure, he balked at 50, but he knuckled right under when I mentioned I was speaking to the Dutch. The stupid old goat had no idea they deal strictly in scrotal drippings these days. I think he was just blinded by lust. I chain smoked throughout all our meetings and he fell in love with my hacking, bronchial cough. He cooed over the samples I’d brought. Ah, bliss. Then Jefferson that whining old black bastard came in crying over our deal. Seems he had some sort of sexual plans for the crate of rotted grapefruit I found in Howard’s basement.  

         He was making demands the fruit simply could not meet, and on and on about his displeasure, with the rancid fruit and with me. Then he demands I return his gunnysack full of oversized crayfish. I covet the crayfish, covet it greatly. I told Jefferson business is business, and I do not guarantee produce. He hit the roof. I then had to threaten him with my stuffed mastiff just to get him the fuck out. Another disgruntled bastard to add to the list. I’ve got to get my hands on a house-trained oclet. Damn it! When will that check reach the Frenchman in Costa Rica?

 9/30  6:47AM

           Damn it all to hell.  What now? Awoke twenty minutes ago to a repetitive striking at the walls and roof of the cottage.  Thought it was hail until a glimpse at the sky light above my pallet revealed a telltale smear of tartar sauce.  Seems Jefferson, that son of a soulless goat, in league with Snieder, Johannasonne, Petersburgman, Ott, Blake, Spacey and that king of assholes McDowell, scorned traders all, were pelting the house with fishsticks from all sides.  Besieged! I pray the mail gets through.

 12:37PM      

           Ha Ha Ha!  The gutless skunks.  They all scurried into the woods at the first sight of the big, shiny blue and white mail truck.  Carlos the carrier stamped and waded his way quite casually through the knee-high piles of breaded fish.  I know he disapproves of me, but at least the mail’s getting through.  A letter from Auntie, all’s well.  Seems she’s had to perform some rather nasty acts for beer money lately, but at ninety-six, that’s to be expected.  Another letter from Rebecca.  She’s still madly in love and wants nothing more than returning to me, but still won’t meet my demands.  What good is a good woman if you cannot market their bodily detritus?  She did enclose some nail clippings; (Perhaps Petersburgman has thrown his last fishstick.) so maybe there’s hope. Dashed off the usual note to her as I sucked the last morsel of meat out of a well-cooked crayfish exoskeleton. It is now raining diced Spam as the idiots are back.  Fuck, this is rapidly becoming a crisis situation.

 8/30  10:00PM

           The Spam storm was short lived, only four hours. I think all that uncrating and dicing took the wind out of their sails. I hope someone was cut.  Spam is a most foul and dangerous thing and its insertion must have serious repercussions or I’m ruined.  My one reliable man for large Spam removal and clean up jobs was shot by his parents when they heard tale of his trade.  This whole sordid mess could jeopardize my crucial snot harvest on Saturday. Damn it! I need a valet! There are just some places where a salve cannot be applied by ones self.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Finally spoke to LaFont after 16 hours of frantic international calling. He’s got my ocelot. Now the heartless pigfucker’s trying to up his fee. We’d settled on expenses plus all the diced Spam I could rustle up, now the deranged bastard is demanding an Oldsmobile. What next? I’m also down to my last 125 lb. bag of coffee and 3 cartons of smokes. It all seems to be falling down around me. Despair.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  There is a god up there somewhere. A simply ravenous pack of dingoes showed up this morning. Not only did they effectively shatter the siege, but are now at work on the Spam and fish. When they finish I’ll shoot and dress them. The Moroccan dingo market is through the roof right now. On a down note the ocelot deal is now dead and I’m stuck with an Olds 442. Seems LaFont got a little careless, lost three fingers and had to destroy it, which is a felony in Costa Rica. He’s facing twenty years of South American hard time and wants my help. What a loser. Not the man I used to know. I shipped him 20 lb. Of dingo meat, a pork pie hat, and my regrets.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Saturday. Snot harvest proving exceedingly more difficult than I anticipated, but I need the rupees. More later.                                                                                                                                                                       Had to cut the snot with Crisco and some vitamin B12, but got the fifty K. Smorf was drooling when I Handed him the product.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Uncle Fuzzysaw’s Cherry Malted Ale. I need a case of it desperately. Unfortunately LaFont was my beer man. That seven fingered fuck. That close to the ocelot. Someday my friends, someday. None of the fucking idiot distributors I’ve talked to in the past four hours have even heard of the shit for Christ’s sake. A certain Teamster, who sall remain nameless, will give me a gross of Marlboro cartons for one case Uncle Fuzzysaw’s Cherry Malted Ale. 144 cartons. 1440 packs. 28,800 cigarettes. All for 24 bottles of what must be the most vile brew ever conceived, never mind marketed.        

[hazkiwislutt]

chapter two: weird dreams, lots of crying, and first dates

{ hi friends!! it’s athena, and here is the second chapter of my new series, chasing love. in this series, y/n is famous, and harry is still famous. y/n is twenty-one right now, and harry is twenty-nine! it’s not as long as the last chapter, but i hope you still like it! there’s mentions of abusive relationships in this chapter, but nothing graphic, so please be careful when reading! thank you, and see you next sunday for chapter three. i loaf u! }

“Harry, I know it’s late, but I need you to come over. Right now.”

Harry had dropped Y/N off at Hannah’s baby shower three days ago, and in the time between then and now, they had texted nonstop. Harry wasn’t normally glued to his phone, but talking to Y/N was fun, and her spontaneous energy was infectious. Within the span of a day, she could send him a deep-fried meme, followed by a cute kitten picture, and then she’d beat him in a game of iMessage pool, but she’d never gloat about it.

They hadn’t fully addressed what had taken place the night before the baby shower, except for two pointed comments the morning after, so Harry’s eyes, which were previously droopy from having been woken up so abruptly, were now large and alert as he processed the fact that Y/N was calling him. At 2:47 in the morning. To come over to her house. Right now.

“Right now?” His voice was gravelly and nearly too deep to understand, but on the other side of the line, it made Y/N shudder.

“Yes, right now. Is that okay? It’s important.” This had Harry fumbling around in his bed like a crazed slug, the phone pressed tightly between his shoulder and his ear, as he tried desperately to untangle himself from his sheets.

“A’right, love. Be there in a bit.” He heard her sigh in relief, before thanking him and hanging up. Harry hopped around the room, trying to shove one leg into his grey sweats while simultaneously reaching for a black shirt hanging from the foot of his bed that he’d discarded a day or two before. He quickly dashed into the bathroom, brushing his teeth as effectively as he could before gargling with mouthwash and shoving his phone and keys into his pockets.

As he started his car, he deliberated on how fast he could get there without blowing himself to smithereens. He backed out of his garage, a funny expression on his face, because it seemed that only Y/N could make him think such intense, but silly, thoughts. He wondered if that was a problem.

…

“Harry, get in, quick!” As soon as the door opened, Harry was seized by the front of his shirt and whisked inside Y/N’s house before he had the chance to open his mouth and greet her. She didn’t even turn around as she slammed her front door shut and quickly dragged him down the hall. Harry thought she was taking him into the living room, but instead, she turned down a smaller hallway that led to a single room, the door propped open a sliver.

“Love, calm down, s’the matter?” He was torn between a mix of curious and nervous, because Y/N would not tell him what was happening, or why they were going into this small room off the main parts of her house, or why she’d grabbed him and whisked him away so suddenly. She pushed the door open, still clutching Harry’s hand tightly in hers, before stepping into the dimly lit room, which Harry realized was Y/N’s music room, as his eyes adjusted to the low lamplight.

It was painted the same mauve color as her kitchen, except instead of white accents, there were pale yellow ones around the trim of the room. There was a grey sofa in the middle of the room that was perpendicular to the door, dilapidated and worn, but large enough to seat three people comfortably, that sat atop an ivory shag rug.

A black grand piano sat in one corner of the room behind the sofa, facing away to the wall, while a full drum set occupied the opposite corner, facing the sofa. Directly in front of the sofa, there was a desk that held a computer, a plug-in keyboard for mixing, and a microphone. On the side of the desk, in yet another corner, various instruments, such as saxophones and trumpets, were put on stands. Harry wondered if she played all of those instruments. He couldn’t recall anything she said in interviews about what instruments she played.

The walls were decorated by an extreme amount of guitars, basses, and ukuleles, pegged on the walls in arbitrary order, but they looked as if they were exactly where they were meant to be. Even Harry himself couldn’t say he had half as many instruments as she had, and he was both amazed and impressed.

Y/N plopped down onto the couch, picking her feet up and tucking them under her bum, as she reached around the side of it and pulled up a simple acoustic guitar with light brown wood grain and nylon strings. Harry followed, tentatively sitting down next to her, still a bit put off by the fact she hadn’t said anything to him yet, as she situated it on her lap. He looked at her in the dim light: her eyes were glistening tiredly, her hair was incredibly mussed and frazzled in a cute, but very noticeable way, and her pajamas were terribly rumpled, as if she had taken a roll shortly before she answered the door. Before Harry could ask what was wrong, she’d already opened her mouth.

“Okay, so, hear me out. I was having the worst luck falling asleep, but when I finally did, I had a dream about you. I was sleeping, like, dream-me was sleeping, and you came into my bedroom wearing my polka-dot onesie for whatever reason, but by the way, when we’re done here, I want you to try it on, ‘cause the pink made your eyes look exceptionally bright, and I want to see for myself,” Y/N paused her mile-a-minute speech, fingers twiddling together as she furrowed her brow as if she were musing the idea.

It was silent for a tick, and although Harry had met Y/N twice in person, and both times she’d been so unpredictable it nearly made him dizzy, he still couldn’t get a handle on how… how… out-there, she really was. He loved it, but his still-fuzzy brain could not keep up with how fast she was talking. Just as he was about to clear his throat to prompt her to continue, she’d already beat him to it.

“Anyways, you woke me up, nearly broke down my bedroom door because I’d run out of Spam, which confused me a bit, ‘cause you probably haven’t had Spam ever, Mr. Health Machine. So, we went downstairs, got in my car, without even brushing or changing, and went to Target. But, the doors wouldn’t open! You know how they’ve got the automatic swing doors? Yeah, those weren’t opening, so you began to sing a song. Not one of yours, or mine, or anyone’s that I know of. But the doors opened, and I woke up, because that song was so… so…” Y/N began gesticulating wildly as she struggled for words to continue her thoughts, “The melody was beautiful and when I woke up, I couldn’t remember any of the words but I just remember waking up with a smile on my face.”

Y/N sat back against the couch, seemingly waiting for Harry’s response. She was looking at him expectantly, mindlessly walking her hands up and down the fretboard in an array of chords. Harry’s mind caught up to her words, and he rubbed his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he prepared a coherent answer.

“S’an interesting dream, innit, love? What’d yeh have before yeh went t’bed?” Harry eyed her as he talked. Y/N looked up from where she was concentrating on a certain chord, staring him dead in the eye.

“A shot of whiskey and an orange. I haven’t slept more than two hours between yesterday and today.” Harry tilted his head, concerned, and perplexed, but he couldn’t help laughing a little.

“God, we have got to stop meeting up when yeh drunk, and yeh need to get more sleep, love.” He laid his head back against the couch, eyes still trained on Y/N. He couldn’t help but feel as if something were a bit different in the way she was acting, but it was also a little past three in the morning, and Harry didn’t trust his sleepy brain.

“I’m not drunk, and I normally do!” She reached over and pinched his waist playfully, which made him gasp and recoil, swatting her hand lightly.

“A’right, moving on, so I sang a song, an’ yeh couldn’t remember it when yeh woke up?” Harry suddenly snorted comically, kicking his feet up under him onto the couch similar to Y/N. He began laughing terribly hard, and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh alongside him, although he hadn’t said anything yet. They were doubled over, properly wheezing, and Harry was sure he’d shed a tear or two.

“God,” Harry was barely able to talk through his laughter, “S’like tha’ one song I did w’the boys a while back… I can’t even remember the- Oh! Best Song Ever! Fuck, it was so bleeding long ago, I was like… I was nineteen when we released tha’ bloody song, an’ now I’m twenty-nine? How the fuck did tha’ happen? Ten years ago? No fuckin’ way.”

Their laughter died down as Harry drank in some memories he’d forgotten existed for a moment. Maybe he’d been so deep in thought that Y/N had to reach over and grasp his hand, because that’s exactly what she did, and it was all Harry needed to come back to her. He looked at her, squeezing her hand in hers and smiling at her reassuringly.

“For the record,” Y/N responded, “I screamed bloody murder the first time it came on the radio from how proud I was of you all, and I didn’t even know you yet. It’s a nice song, right?” Harry grinned bashfully and squeezed her hand again. Both were painfully aware that they were almost completely out of it from how much sleep they were missing, and it was causing them to go on an insane amount of tangents, but they couldn’t find it in themselves to care. They simply enjoyed the feeling of having the other around.

“Means a lot, love. Now, m’sorry for getting off topic. So, yeh had this dream, came down into this room, and… Called me?” Harry raised his brow in question, and Y/N clutched his hand tighter, nodding her head up and down vigorously.

“Yeah, so, I came down here and started playing around, trying to recreate the melody, but I wanted you to hear it, for obvious reasons, and because I didn’t want to take advantage of dream-you’s work. So, here you are, and here I am, about to play what you came up with in my dream. I added the lyrics, but they’re a load of shit, and I’ll probably clean them up later.” She finished punctually, sitting back and situating her fingers along the fretboard, before breathing in and beginning to pick softly at the strings.

The words were beautiful; they painted pictures of a harsh love and a heartbreak that Harry didn’t believe he could swallow at such a late hour, but he did, because it was Y/N singing this beautiful melody about something so sad, and he had the honor of being the first person to hear it, even if it was three in the morning and Harry’s throat was constricting quite fast from the onslaught of emotions. His eyes watered and he gasped disbelievingly, swiping at them gently, as Y/N continued to sing, eyes shut and forehead creased as she crooned out the tune she’d strung together.

It was a short segment of a song that he knew could be turned into something amazing, but as Y/N muted the guitar strings and laid it back down where she’d retrieved it on the side of the sofa, she turned her whole body toward him and grasped his hands once more: something Harry realized she was comfortable with doing with him, and it just made the intensity of what he’d witnessed more prominent.

Harry couldn’t stop the tears for whatever reason; the words brought emotions to the surface he couldn’t even remember feeling, and it was Y/N who was singing those words, and she was just so sweet and lovely, Harry’s heart just couldn’t take it. Y/N scooted closer, gently rubbing his back as Harry wiped his eyes.

“What do you think,” she asked softly, as if anything louder than the way she was asking would break him.

“God, yeh so bloody awesome. Yeh… s’actually a little bit insane.” Harry let out a short laugh, squeezing both of her hands in his, and his heart melted as she looked down shyly.

“Thank you, but Harry, why are you crying?” Y/N moved even closer, eliminating any and all space between where they were sitting, before hesitantly wrapping an arm around his shoulders, allowing her to rest her head atop his and him to slot into her side as she continued to rub his back.

“Honestly,” Harry said, “I don’t have a clue. What did yeh write that song about? S’really, really sad.” Y/N breathed in deeply as she contemplated whether she should be candid about something so serious at this time, but she figured there was nothing she couldn’t tell Harry if he was willing to get out of bed and drive over to her house so late at night.

“My first boyfriend was abusive,” she began, halting for a short period of time before recomposing and continuing, “My next boyfriend was also abusive, and so was the girlfriend I had after, and the boyfriend I had after that… And when I’d finally broken the cycle, with that guy I told you about at Niall’s party, who wasn’t abusive, but wasn’t a saint either, all of the things I’d experienced had been my main muse.”

Harry sat up from where he was tucked into Y/N, pulling back to look at her eyes which seemed a little more dull in color, but a lot brighter in shine because it looked like she was about to cry herself, and her mouth, which was set in a grim line that held an air of determination rather than discouragement. Harry was amazed. He was put in awe of someone so unique and strong and free, and he lunged for her, cradling her close and rocking her back in forth.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” He spoke lowly, stroking the back of her head as he held her tightly.

“I told you I was tired of chasing love,” she said back, nestling her face into Harry’s neck as she let a few stray tears fall. It had been awhile since she’d told someone about those things, albeit just a very watered down version, but she was glad that someone was Harry, who seemed to have a knack for making her heart do funny things and who drove to her house just because she asked him to in the dead of night.

It was quiet in the room as the two held onto each other, until Y/N pulled back to look at him, but held his hands in hers, and said, “It’s close to four now. I’m sorry for making you drive here so late.”

Harry shook his head adamantly, “No, don’t apologize. Wouldn’t have… Wouldn’t have come if I didn’t want to see yeh. While we’re being honest, it seems like lately seeing yeh is all I want to do.”

Y/N startled a bit, Harry could feel it in the way she tightened her grip and relaxed. She stared at him, a sort of shy wonderment in her eyes as he wondered what she was thinking. Just like last time, it was night time, and they were in close proximity, but Harry had no alcohol running through his bloodstream.

He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that sober Harry felt the same way about Y/N that drunk Harry did, even if he did try to suppress the strong feelings of interest he had in her since the night he’d met her.

“Seeing you is something I like doing, as well.” Y/N responded to him quietly, smiling a little bit. The conversation lulled to a stop once again, and Harry decided that comfortable silence with Y/N was not so overrated.

“It’s almost four, and I think I’m a bit tired, Harry.” Y/N said, suddenly, voice a little more soft at the edges and a little scratchy with fatigue.

“A’right, let m’carry yeh up to yeh bed then, since tha’ seems like all yeh need me for.” Harry laughed as she softly pinched his cheek, before he got up to turn off the lamp. It seemed as if she was too tired to object, and Harry didn’t mind.

He scooped her up, and she instinctively tucked her head into his neck as he walked down the hall and up the stairs to her bedroom. Harry thought it was terribly funny that every encounter they’d had ended with someone’s bed, but as he looked down at Y/N’s eyes that were fluttering open and shut with every bounce of Harry’s step, he decided it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, especially since he got to see her struggle to stay awake in such an adorable manner.

Once in her bedroom, Harry gently rested her in one arm and his opposite hip in order to pull back the sheets before adjusting her to place her down softly. He made sure half of her body was covered, and the over half was bare to the air, just like she’d liked the first night he’d met her.

“Get in,” Y/N yawned, “You’re not driving back so late and you give such nice cuddles. Please come lay with me.” She tiredly patted the empty space next to her with a soft hand and well, Harry couldn’t say no.

He walked around to the other side of the bed, gently settled into her sheets, and pulled her toward him, causing her to hum and sigh contentedly. She smelled like everything good and kind in the world, and sleep began to seem like such a wonderful paradise until-

“Turn around,” Y/N urged, before rolling over to face him. Harry obliged, turning over sluggishly, and he felt her arms envelope him from behind, filling him with a sense of contentment.

Cuddling with Y/N is one of Harry’s favorite new things, he thinks sleepily as he lets the pulse of her heart and sound of her breathing lull him to sleep.

He hopes he never has to go without it from now on.

…

When Y/N woke up, Harry wasn’t in bed next to her. The sheets were cold, and the sunlight was more intense that it would have been if it were earlier in the morning, so she assumed it was later. Somehow, she wasn’t filled with dread and negative thoughts didn’t cloud her head. Even if her past experiences had done a number on her, she believed wholeheartedly Harry wouldn’t have simply run back to his house. She knew he was somewhere.

She swung her legs out of bed, yawning and stretching exaggeratedly before hoisting herself up and padding down the stairs. She didn’t hear any bustling, but the smell of food led her into the kitchen. Harry wasn’t there, but instead, a stack of pancakes, sunny-side up eggs, and bacon were arranged nicely on two separate plates, as well as cut up fruit. Y/N’s heart flipped a bit inside, and she smiled wide, biting the inside of her cheek as she fought to wipe it off her face.

Y/N decided that she knew exactly where Harry was, so she turned on her heel and walked down the hall into her music room. Harry was sat on the couch, his back to her, simply looking around at the room. She noticed he had pulled back the yellow curtains that had covered the windows in the room last night, washing the room in the LA summer sun.

“You cooked.” Y/N’s voice didn’t startle him. He turned around, smiling at her, before responding plainly, “I did.” She walked over to him and kneeled in front of where he sat, taking his hands in hers and squeezing them.

“Thank you.” She gazed up at him with so much sincerity that it nearly made Harry’s heart stop. “You always take care of me.”

“F’course, love. S’one of my new favorite things to do, besides cuddling yeh.” She giggled, nodding her head lightly. “Yeh play all these?” Harry gestured around the room to the instruments that glittered in the sunlight.

“I know my way around all of them, but I’m not good at all of them. It’s one thing to know how to play them, it’s another thing to play them well. Like, the trumpet. I can play notes, but I’m no Louis Armstrong.” She paused, before continuing, “I was in band and choir in high school. Music is all I’ve ever been good at. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”

She said it so reverentially that it moved Harry, and suddenly, the feelings he’d been so good at suppressing bubbled to the surface, his mouth opening before his mind could put a stop to it.

“Go out on a date with me.” The words squeaked out of him, and his eyes widened as Y/N sat back a bit and looked at him intently. Harry suddenly thought that the sun’s light began to be a little too hot for his liking as he began to sweat lightly. “Doesn’t have to mean anything f’yeh don’t want it to, an’ yeh don’t have to! M’sorry if tha’ came out as a demand instead of a question, don’t want to make yeh uncomfortable-”

“Sure.” That one word halted Harry so quickly, he nearly got whiplash from it. She squeezed his hands, that she hadn’t let go of, which made Harry internally cringe because it meant she could probably feel how clammy they were. She looked up at him with a smirk, before getting up and sitting next to him on the couch.

“Really?” Harry was struck, gnawing his bottom lip worriedly as if she hadn’t heard him right and didn’t know what she was actually agreeing to.

“I said, sure. I’ll go on a date with you. I’ve been thinking lately that I’ve got a strong interest in you and I,” she breathed in as if the next words would be a laborious task to get out, “and I… Maybe we could see just how strong they are.” Harry just stared at her, still dumbfounded, so she continued, “It doesn’t have to be serious if we don’t want it to be.”

Harry began to nod his head slowly, before moving closer to her, looking her directly in the eyes.

“How about this, love,” he started, once he’d gotten his thoughts in order and his hands became a little less sweaty, “It doesn’t have to be serious, yet.”

His emphasis on the last word filled Y/N with hope as she looked back at him. “Yet” implied that Harry wanted it to be serious down the line, and it made Y/N’s insides turn to mush. Despite the past experiences she’d had, Y/N couldn’t find it in herself to be terrified of the prospect of starting something with Harry.

Not when she was looking into sea-green eyes littered with specks of gold, not when below those sea-green eyes, beautifully pink lips stretched shyly around a grin, and definitely not when those beautifully pink lips were being chewed nervously, as if he was worried he’d said the wrong thing. Y/N couldn’t find it in herself to be scared of chasing love with Harry. Not at all.

“Deal.”

{ @lovableah }

[theadoptedhale]

so, i’ve had vincent for a bunch of years. he started as an experiment in 2015, i watched teen wolf and i saw peter suffer and i just decided that fuck you writers, seriously - he needs someone to pick him up, someone to love him unconditionally, because nobody on the show ever will. (there’s the fact im petopher trash, but shhht, that’s a different kind of ship.) anyway, i spent a good month telling myself i didn’t need another teen wolf muse (i had chris and derek at the time) while thinking about how that twin i would never make a blog for could be like.. and then i let him have a test run on a side blog. 

back then the fandom was still really active and i ended up feeling so fckn welcome and loved on despite being a twin oc, it was crazy. so i moved him to a main blog. and the idea of an exiled and erased twin developed into so much more. the hours upon hours i spent writing him, perfecting him - the way he speaks or thinks, the way he acts and what he likes and doesn’t like, how he reacts to challenges and changes. he’s no longer just a “twin oc” like he was at first - he’s become so much more. he’s become his own person and my soft wolf child. he’s gone through the group verse phase that took over tumblr in 2015, he’s survived me getting attached to abusive muns and even taking a break. he just keeps coming back stronger.

now y’all probs wonder why on earth i’m blabbering at you. i’ve reached an amount of followers i never thought i would on an OC. those usually stagnate at around 100-170 for me, but vince has made it a lot further and as of earlier today, he’s passed 300 followers. so what i’m doing now is a thank you to those who held out a helping hand when i was grasping for straws. 

this is where i get mushy and soft and rambly, so have a cut. 

@hereticdefied -- i should probs ramble on about you over on crowley, but vince and rowena have something i really didn’t expect when we decided to let them bump into each other on a road in the middle of nowhere. she’d probs not admit it and he wouldn’t bring it up, but she’d pack to him and he would die for her without hesitating even for a second. i mean he would also kill for her, but so would crowley, lol. 

@enduringalpha -- we’re in the same time zone. ahem, no that’s not why you’re on here. i saw daniel and i immediately knew i wanted to get to know you both. it took me a good week to say hi, but damn if it wasn’t worth it. you’re so nice ok. i love writing our wolf boys together and i love that for a chance vince doesn’t feel like a monster in a ship. he can let go and he feels safe and it just makes me so happy i get all giddy when i see you in the activity and then you plaster our dash in stephen amell which is like, fantastic. ur fab and i don’t regret a thing. 

@mxleshxven -- words, man. what are words? we got 2 super unique things going and like, we only “recently” started, but shit i’m trash for you and your muses. i lay awake at night imagining eldrick finding out about vince and like, vince expects him to rage and yell and walk away, but instead he just sits there and for the next hour he questions vince on all things werewolf. then there’s vince and thomas, who keeps vince away from all the tom hill crap and the cameras, but some day when he has a live show, he lets his eyes roam the audience and he finds vince sitting there (maybe even with a tom hill shirt which he got off the internet or something) and yes, i’m trash for you. you’re also incredibly nice and easy to talk to and caring and ahhh. 

@ofxiron/ @xsurvivedthecage -- samuel. you are the most precious person on this website and i somehow feel super duper protective of you (already) so you better get used to that. cause i’ll go kick butts if anybody types at you funny *grumble huffs* but also ironwolf is life, okay? we just started it, it’s barely a thing yet, but i would kill for them. i’m so giddy and excited and can’t wait for more. i love love love the idea of sam with a supernatural creature and a werewolf only makes it more feelsy bc of the “heart” ep and i’m drowning in feels when thinking about it and yes, vince is ready for some hugssss. 

@pieceintheirgxmes -- you’ve been with me since before my break even and we’re still writing our wolves and like, vince is so happy to find pack, you got no idea. we don’t spam-reply daily but we’re making progress in the story and i always look forward to your next reply. nico is precious and needs to be protected at all costs. and luka.. mrrrrrr. vince would give him his alpha powers in an instant if he could, just cause. and they only met. xD

@canonbcys -- nobody has ever drowned (in the best of ways) me in memes like you do and i love it. i’ll be honest, i’m always wary of multi muse blogs with more than like 10 muses? i’ve had some really crappy experiences in the past, so while i’m super open to giving ppl a shot there’s a little voice saying “hmmmmmmmmmmm” while i do. (lol, yeah i hear voices sometimes xD) anyway. you’re amazing. each of your muses (and i’ve gotten a taste of a bunch) are different, unique and ..y’know true to their character. they don’t speak the same, act the same, sound the same, etc. i love love love all of those i’ve interacted with and i’m sure i will/would also love the rest. 

@theking-blackheart-muses, @aeternitasintricatae & @thcbcautifullifc -- i haven’t had the chance (i’m slow and bad at communicating) to properly get to know you guys, but know that i’m a fan. i wanna (and will, watch me!) write more with you guys, cause damn. all the love to you three. all. the. love.

this goes to you, but also everybody reading this - everybody who decided that hey, that muse looks kinda cool, i’m gonna follow. thank you for having followed, thank you for giving us a chance and eventually (for now) deciding to stay. thank you. 

[furbyq]

oh my god it’s a bad idea someone has probably already done before with terrible results. but that’s my sim secret, i’m always terrible, so here we go.

when i posted that thing the other day, or last week or whenever, this is the post i wanted to make. i had written most of it and saved it in my drafts, but i thought maybe it wasn’t a good idea. thinking about it today, i’ve realized i don’t really care. i may still delete this post or hide it later, so get your looks in now.

there’s basically 4 hate secret archetypes:

you’re shit

your cc is shit

your sims are shit

and my favorite,

you did this thing unrelated to sims, don’t do that, it’s shit

some people who receive these secrets don’t deserve them. i can’t say whether or not i did, since i am biased, as i am me. but there are a lot of people i’ve seen get picked at who really don’t deserve it and cannot take that kind of rejection from the community. everyone who has ever gotten a hate secret that they felt was unfounded needs to remember: you don’t just have to take shit your entire life from people who treat you like trash. you can also rare back like a horse and hoof them in the face.

so what i’m going to do in this post is go back through all the secrets i have saved that were directed towards me and critique them on how founded they were. and perhaps how nice they looked. 

at the same time, i’m going to tell you exactly what i felt about them when i first saw them and exactly what i feel now. and i may not be very nice. in fact, after having written the rest of this post, i wasn’t nice at all.

chances are, the people who made the secrets did the right thing and stopped following me or looking at my blog a long time ago. and that’s a very healthy thing to do, i’m proud of them. however, possibly, the people who submitted these secrets might be people i know and have talked to, or still talk to. the problem with simsecret is, you never fucking know. maybe i submitted one of these and don’t remember. that’s right, i was me all along.

now, first of all, i must commend this person on making an aesthetically pleasing secret. i mean, the part that they added actually matches my old blog theme a little bit. however, i have to dock points for lack of consistency in that second pooklet. i’m not going to give grammar too terribly hard of a time, because i’m not going to complain about people who may not be native english speakers. i have no way of knowing. but consistency? you get an 8/10.

let me explain you a thing. when a lot of people start posting in any community, it’s easy to be nervous about people critiquing your personal choices. for me, this was a big stumbling block. i emulated pooklet and azaya because their games looked good. they were two people in this community that fanned the flames of my love for ts2 into a fire that will burn for centuries.

this was also when pooklet had just released their lovely templates, which i still use, and they are likely to be the only templates i use until the day that i make my own. milkshape consistency is important to me and diverse facial features are important to me (keep in mind, this was before custom sliders). i would like to think that i evolved as someone who can make sims that look distinctly like my own, despite being based on someone else's templates, but everyone is entitled to their opinion.

nothing is ever going to please everybody. i could release a lovingly crafted piece of cc every day for the rest of my life and someone would complain about me clogging up their dash instead of unfollowing me. but to someone who is new in the community, criticism like this is much more harsh than you may intend it to be and may have an amplified effect. derivation is common in the start of new hobbies, even you probably derived at some point.

the second secret that was specifically aimed towards me is so low effort, i would give it a 3/10. or a 6 out of 9, you somehow fucked it from both ends by making this shit off-center.

first, if you have a similar opinion, you may need to learn the fact that i may prefer to view different things with my eyeballs than you do. since i only have my eyeballs, and not yours, i tend to pick colors i like.

you may think to yourself, “well, why did you make that top area of shirt a different color to the bottom area of shirt??”, and i will tell you, they are not both shirt. the top part is a jacket overlay or some shit. it was a different color on yuxi’s original as well. as for the color choice, i just liked them. especially the middle one, which i tested colors on for half an hour because i knew i wanted to keep that minty jacket and i had already used too much purple.

what does using colorblind as an insult accomplish in this context? you are criticizing something that, if i actually had it, would be a type of disability i could not help. say it’s shit, and say it’s shit to my face so that i know not to share these things with you.

at least use better colors. my colors are notoriously eye-searing but that red is about to give me a goddamn aneurysm. 6/10.

i don’t know how to break it to the original maker of this secret, but much like the tooth fairy does not exist, perfect humans also do not exist. why are you holding me to a higher standard than other people and then discarding me the moment i do something you personally do not like? you liked me. i fucked up. you liked me less than if someone you disliked did the same fucking thing?

in 2015, adfuck was a shitshow, but it is nowhere near the shitshow it is now. i also always provided a secondary link without adfly. i did that shit where i made it smaller for a couple of posts. i did the scum thing. i thought it would be lucrative and help my situation a tiny bit. a dollar earned from adfuck was a dollar i did not have before, and if you’re dying from starvation a dollar will save your life.

the subtext is, if you were afraid of viruses, you should have used the non adfuck link every time. if you were like me, and you had downloaded a thousand things from behind mandatory adfucks with your block disabled before the skipper (the adfly skipper, not like, a sea captain or anything) and hadn’t had a problem, you could very easily toss 1/1000 of a cent to a creator whose work you liked.

my stance on adfucks have changed drastically since 2015. i would never do it again because of its more clear association with viruses and the fact that i do not enjoy knowing that i could’ve made other people’s lives immensely shittier by being complicit in fucking up their computer. but i did do it, and no amount of apologizing is going to change that.

for future record, if you ever find one of my old, reblogged furbyq-sims posts, never click the shortened link. use the non adfuck one. i would have to push link shorteners every single nanosecond of my entire life for it to ever pay anything of substance, and i refuse to promote shorteners anymore. i will never cash it out, so clicking the links is a waste of time. since i deleted furbyq-sims, i cannot edit the links out. do not click them. 

do note that during my run with adfuck, i received 579 total clicks that registered as ‘valid’ or what-the-fuck-ever. those clicks amounted to $1.53 USD. when people use adfucks, be aware that they are doing so to make, probably at most like $5 USD a month if they get thousands of non-blocked clicks. it is the definition of pointless. the danger element is enough to put most people off, the shitty pay should take the rest of them, and yet.

“hey, stop spamming” “hey, to resolve this, spam more” what do you fucking want from me?

again i’m pretty sure this person is not a native speaker, so i’m not going to poke at the grammar more than to mention that contradiction. you got your point across very well. remember to add a white outline to your text next time. 7/10.

let me tell you, desperation will make you do things that may not make sense to anyone else at the time.

think about this: my mom has serious lymph node deficiency that contributes to her getting pneumonia frequently. she’s on an oxygen concentrator at this time. now, oxygen concentrators are the thing that you get when a person needs nearly full-time oxygen. you don’t get a million tanks, you just get a single concentrator, which requires continuous electricity to work. ring ring it’s the electric company, your power is getting turned off tomorrow. you call hospice, hospice is like “well we can get a notice to them in like, two days” so you panic. you scramble for what you believe at that moment is the most important thing, regardless of whether or not you are right.

people who are in need will generally get help to some extent on the internet if they are brave enough to ask. but when it is a dire thing, you will reblog the post as many times as it takes to soothe your profound panic. every time you reblog, maybe one more person will see it. maybe that person will reblog, someone will see that and send $5 your way to help. you have got to keep things like this moving, if you do not ask you will not receive anything and dead posts are as good as not asking.

i don’t mean to sound overly terse, but i do sound that way for a reason, because some things are worth being terse over. and i hope, i hope to whatever deity may actually exist, that you never have to be in that position, where you know exactly why i did what i did. because it means you’re living in hell and it is no place to be.

i know this is an undertale reference of some kind. i don’t understand it, i haven’t played the game. if you’re going to say something mean to someone, maybe you should use your own words instead of formatting cryptic bullshit that includes the word 'garbage’. 3/10.

if you’re going to insult someone, be specific. because when you insult someone, you wield a sword. when i get stabbed, i want it to be a killing blow to my heart and not some lukewarm stabbing about in my midsection. fucking kill me or leave me alone. those are the options, pick one.

people in the sims community make custom content. and some of it is great, and some of it is shitty. and sometimes, both of those things can come from the same person, because everybody in the entire world has off days. i’m not going to say my shit is great, but i have made things i am proud of. proud that i took the time to make something and it paid off, and i realized a creation that would not exist without my existence and efforts. 

other times, my stuff has been shitty. you are not obligated to download what you don’t like, and i’m sorry that me taking up 500 megabytes of the entire internet to host my shit on impacted your life so much back in 2016 or whenever the fuck.

after some angry secrets, it’s good to end on this one. it makes me laugh every time i see it. 9/10.

i’m going to address three points in this picture, but i’m not and have never been mad at this one. whoever made this secret, inbox me. you’re my favorite motherfucker.

when i made the phantom rage skin i had a picture of a man who had very speckled vitiligo saved as inspiration. i lost that picture when i cleared out old files, but this model, genesis castillo, is very similar to the vitiligo pattern that man had. there are a hundred winnie harlow skins. there were none like this where the vitiligo was not evened out with makeup. i then paired tones 1 and 10 and 2 and 8 for contrast, but the 1 and 10 one looks much odder in the low opacity parts, like camouflage, someone said once.

as someone who has a skin condition, i know how emotionally traumatic they are when they change your appearance drastically. i cannot empathize with any traumas of vitiligo that are directly tied to people of color being affected by it because i am not a person of color. 

if i offended anyone who has vitiligo, i am genuinely sorry. my intention was not to make a ‘costume’, it was to make a virtual representation of a type of human being that actually exists. i hope that learning from this experience and using that knowledge to the best of my ability in the future is enough to undo even an iota of damage that was done.

point two, what is wrong with the middle sim? what is wrong with the middle sim? what is wrong with them? they have a mole? they’re wearing two head accessories? what is wrong with them???

point three, the bebebrillit hairline conversions weren’t terrible. fitting shit to the different hairline shape is difficult, so it can lead to some weird edges. at the time i took the previews for the hairlines, i didn’t have a ton of hairs in my folder. i just started doing nouk hairs. i needed to take a picture of the high fashion ponytail, so i killed two birds with one stone. this is not a combo that i played with, thinking they fit together like jigsaw pieces. it was a preview and it even showed that the hairlines did not work with every hair.

also,

there was a mythical 8th secret (yes, there were actually fucking 8 of them, i’ve averaged 2 hate secrets a year which i consider a life achievement). it was a picture of my first ts4 skinblend with the word “hideous” or “this is hideous” or some shit on it. it had the word hideous in it. that secret was deleted before i could save it, but i still remember it. and i can’t even be mad, i mean, they’re right. 10/10. best secret. it wasn’t a secret at all.

i actually can’t remember why it turned out so shiny, i think it’s because there were like no skins close to what i wanted and i tried handpainting before i knew how to.

in conclusion, please, in the future... stay salty, stay mean, continue hiding behind anonymity, but either grow a sense of humor or commit to what you’re doing instead of hurling balls of infernal bitching gently at my face. 

[yeonghcn-a]

1 to 10 ~ sweet trolling~ DABBITY DAB DAB DAAAAAAA~ YEEEEEEEET!

What blogs do you admire most? 

Are you a fast replier or a slow replier? 

What makes you follow someone? 

What makes you unfollow someone? 

Do you have any other blogs? 

How long do your replies tend to be— line, paragraph, or novella? 

How long have you had this blog for? 

Have you ever gone on hiatus— how long did it take you to come back? 

What do you enjoy most about playing your muse? 

What do you enjoy the least about playing your muse?

You absolute brat, lol.

o1. / Oh good god there’s a lot but uh… @suhntaek, @yuntckki, @yeogeol, @wekeepthislcveinaphotograph / @vanderwood-stark / @ps-maybe-i-like-you, @hackermemelord, @sinbongja, @soleilies, @hopefulmuses, @floofymuses… That’s all I can think of right now.

o2. / Depends on my muse for the thread and how my muses are working with me. Usually I’m kinda slow unless I have a pileup of drafts - like I do right now, lol… TT

o3. / If I like their blog and if I feel I could RP with them! That’s what gets me to follow.

o4. / Spamming the dash with too much OOC (to the point where 95% of their posts in one day is OOC, 5% RP - I’ve seen this), reblogging giant manga scans the size of like half my dash, or just being generally toxic and gross or extremely racist and hypocritical. Otherwise, the only thing that gets me to unfollow is long ass periods of inactivity and not even making an approach or attempt to talk to me OOC or IC. I don’t bite. I love new writing partners! Please come talk to me. I absolutely love talking to people, and I know I rarely post opens, but I try to post starter calls as OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. Like them! Most of the time you don’t even have to choose the muse, I’m throwing a random one at you! Come at me bro, I’ll just love you and want to interact more!

o5, o6, o7. / Answered here.

o8. / I can’t do hiatuses. I wind up abandoning blogs and just remaking.

o9. / Just… Sharing my love of writing by writing with other people and exploring facets of characters I’ve created that even I didn’t know where there. Like… With @yuntckki, we’ve talked about how similar Yucheon and ZEN are in terms of hiding their past. How they hold secrets and don’t want to let go of them. It’s one of the main reasons why Yucheon’s best and most true route IS Runa’s ZEN. Because they meld well together and they understand each other on more than a fundamental level. I’ve talked with @ps-maybe-i-like-you about Hanbin quite a lot, and how his parents are later in his life about his involvement in Mint Eye. No one knows the full of what Hanbin went through but Hanbin and, through his own admission, Jeonghwan, Lin’s OC. Not even his parents do. And it just goes to show how just talking with another mun about your muses and doing little discord talks between the muses can really put perspectives on your characters. They start out so 2D, so flat, and you put time and effort into them and make them 3D until they feel like a living, breathing human being inside of your head and on the tips of your fingers as you write and write and love to write about them.

1o. / It varies from muse to muse, but I guess… How people perceive them, based on just the facts about them? Like think all you want but… If you don’t want canon Rika, for example, I have an AU where she actually stayed on with therapy and continued medication. Where she’s actively working to be healthier, mentally. All you have to do is ask and I’ll share my unposted headcanons, my thoughts on that AU, what have you. I actually prefer to use that AU with other Saerans / Rays unless they want canon Rika. It gives everyone a nice break from canon relationships and gives us a… Quite soft and much less painful type of story to work with. If that makes sense? I just. I hate people judging at face value for characters without actually looking into them. Like… Echo Girl is another one that’s hated a lot, and I’m like? Yeah. I don’t condone what she did. But have you ever considered to actually look into what character info we’re given? She’s an only child and is obviously spoiled rotten. Ever consider she possibly deep insecurities? She mentions the size of her breasts and how ‘cute’ and ‘beautiful’ she is. That’s signs of narcissism, even if it’s false. Ever consider she might feel just like ZEN does about her looks? Hm? That’s how I portray Echo Girl. She’s a girl thrown into stardom, riddled with insecurities like any. Other. Fucking. Human. I do not like what Rika and Echo Girl did, but let me level with you. They are human. Like anyone else. Fucking stop with the double standards because I bet if they were men, no one would have as much issue with them. I fucking bet you.

Sorry rant over but I had to let that out.

Meme here~