#but they men’s nt are making me sick

[celeste444spacey]

it's very difficult manifesting love and peace between men and women when i see misogyny everywhere, i literally wanted to use a cute tag "women are beautiful" and then "men are beautiful" but the trendy tags i see is women are c*nts and men superior... maybe i should delete all social media...

I actually remember Abraham Hicks talking about a situation somewhat like this, she was addressing a gay lady who expressed her frustration as to how gay marriage wasn't legalized yet back then and how she wished she could create a change.

I actually totally understand this frustration cause i'm sick of all the hate lately too, like about all sorts of hate you know? I am kind of also working on this rn.

Let me put this out, the amplification of the hate we have seen lately is just mostly due to the visibility factor. It's as if all the haters are finding out a common video or post to gather and hate on. I know this sounds very obvious.

But honestly just stay in the state you are, just be there. Stay in a state of love, don't let this affect you. Just tell yourself in your mind that you only attract situations full of love, and full of respect and adoration. Be in a state that you don't see this hate anymore. And that this hate doesn't affect you and YOUR WORLD whatsoever.

Because honestly there's no reason to attach the result of a better world on someone else. This sort of hate isn't coming from YOU, it's just in the 3D, could be a result of old beliefs or whatever. Fuck it, it doesn't concern you and it shouldn't.

One of the reasons we feel vulnerable when see this hate is because we think it affects us, but that's where you work on yourself. You tell yourself that it doesn't affect you cause you are in an abundant state. Your gender, your sexuality, the color of skin does NOT affect you, or your opportunities or make you different than anyone else. Because you are HUMAN periodt! You are not your skin, your sexuality, your gender blah blah blah

YOU ARE YOU. YOU ARE YOUR POTENTIAL, YOU ARE HUMAN.

The sort of vulnerability people get from these differences is what fuels fear, and then, this fear is used to control them. People make it your weakness by telling you that just cause you are this sort of person you may be at a disadvantage.

BUT WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY TO DICTATE TO YOU WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU GET?????

Take back your power now.

You are your mind and that's all. Keep affirming your dream life, your dream world, your dream experiences. You change first, then the world follows, however long it takes. It's inevitable anyway.

Oh btw, gay marriage is legalized now in the US isn't it?

[greekmythcomix]

Fantasy Odyssey cast

I’m working on the choose-your-own-path Odyssey book/game today, and I thought a good way of trying to write a bit faster (and stop being distracted by the fact that I have a day off from the world to do with as I like and I’m spending it stuck to the computer) would be to visualise the characters as actors I like. Or at least work out whom I have been visualising all this time. I’ll add to this list as I write other sections.

NB: I live in the UK, was a child in the 90s, and like comedies and dramas, so these are probably going to end up all British and aren’t necessarily going to be very exciting choices! Please feel free to make your own suggestions.

PS: I know there’s a film coming out with Ralph Fiennes as Odysseus and Juliette Binoche as Penelope coming out in a year or so, but that casting is just too serious for me (and Binoche is forever Antigone to me after using her NT run to teach the play for coursework, so…)

--------------------

Odysseus:

Michael Sheen

Odysseus is complicated. Apparently he looks like a country boob, but has a voice that commands all and speaks words like falling snowflakes. He can lie at a second’s notice, but is also loyal and magnetic enough for his wife to have wanted to wait for him all this time. The role needs Sheen: the sheer *range* of the man, who can be sweet *and* prickly inside one sentence. His Nero is terrifying yet also somehow vulnerable. He also looks excellently the part - stocky, sturdy, with a woolly beard and hair (perfect streak of weathered white through the front). He’d be captivating.

Telemachus:

Alex Lawther

I’m a bit sick of portrayals of Telemachus making him a total one-note whinge bag (you know which portrayal I mean in particular) and in the text he’s angry yet well-behaved and does a lot of growing up. He’s been brought up by only his clever mother and her loyal servants/enslaved people so he should be a little soft but sharp around the edges (the suitors are almost all the same age as him give or take a handful of years), and he also takes after his father - Homer really paints that comparison on thick - so he should be clever too.

That’s Lawther in a nutshell.

And, if you look at photos of a younger Michael Sheen, there’s a lot of similarity there, so that works too. (And they’ve both played Hamlet, so that would be fun to talk about)

Menelaus

Brendan Gleeson/ Brian Gleeson

The film Troy rather ruined this one, as Brendan Gleeson played Menelaus rather perfectly for me. Only I’m imagining he gets a lot nicer once he gets Helen back. However, he's rather aged out of the part, but his son Brian is almost old enough to play him (yes, nepotism). In Frank of Ireland he’s a lil bit daft and that’s how I’m seeing Menelaus in Book 4, all memories and wrapped around his wife’s littlest finger.

Helen

Right now, possibly Emilia Clarke, but I’m not certain (see below)

Helen is a confident trickster. She’s effectively been abused her whole life, treated as a prize and a sexual object since childhood, can’t trust anyone, and is now leaning into it (see Book 3). But all she wants is stability. It’s probably a choice a little influenced by Clarke’s former roles, but her apple-cheeked visage and winning smile suggest she can get herself out of trouble by getting men to fight eachother for the privilege.

EDIT: wait wait wait... let's go left-field and get Natasia Demetriou. Her Helen would be manipulative, dismissive, sometimes incredibly sweet and naive but only on the surface. She'll dope you to make sure you don't ruin a good time. She's in charge. Oh yes.

Penelope

Nina Sosanya/Olivia Colman

Our Penelope is so sassy, totally on it (Odysseus-in-disguise praises her as a ‘king’, the highest era-appropriate compliment on her rule he can give), but willing to make way for her son. She’s clever, no-nonsense, totally in love but also a realist. I couldn’t pick between these two brilliant actors so I’m picking bits of them: Sosanya’s needliness and Colman’s ability to dismiss you kindly and both of their wit.

Athene

Ruth Wilson

Calculating, sexy, kind of ruthless. Enough said.

Diomedes

Kayvan Novak

He’s not in it for long, though there’s potential for plenty of flashbacks. Diomedes is pretty serious, businesslike, a bit meat-headed, deadly as a sword between your ribs, and while Novak is a lot funnier than that I think he could pull off the character without being unlikeable.

Antinous and Eurymachus

Timothee Chalamet and… TBD

Ok so technically Chalamet is a teensy bit younger than Lawther rather than older, but it’s within tolerance. I think he could pull off older and haughtier, full of insouciance knowing how much he’s worth compared to the rest of them, and properly intimidating and manipulative. The murder plot the suitors attempt against Telemachus becomes a bit of a dark peer prank, with Chalamet as the leader of a group of obnoxious rich boys who only have one impediment between them as suitors and one of them as king, and I can see a face-off between Chalamet-Antinous and Lawther-Telemachus with Ruth Wilson’s delighted Athene bobbing between them.

Eurylochus and Polites

Simon Farnaby and Jim Howick (Ghosts, Horrible Histories)

Obviously these two need bigger roles than in the original text, so they pop up in the alternate storylines. Eurylochus is smarmy and annoying, and Polites is an adorable yes-man. At one point Odysseus wonders whether or not he should actually cut Eurylochus’ head off, and I can see Farnaby and Sheen facing off in my head. And there have to be some comedic characters in here to relieve the tension.

More like 20 years, amirite?

Eumaeus

Not sure yet. Eumaeus is such an important and underrated character, earnest and loyal to the last, but with the bearing of a prince (as he once was before becoming enslaved). I’m fluctuating between Idris Elba, Riz Ahmed and David Tennant, which is a bit mad, but I’m getting back to writing this bit soon and I may have a better idea after they’ve sat down for an interminable amount of time to eat roast piglet. But, now I've seen Good Omens 2, maybe just Michael Tennant with heart-eyes for Odysseus is pretty accurate.

I am desperate to get Matt Berry in here somewhere. I think he’s going to be Medon the herald, who has covered himself in an ox-hide and is hiding under a chair during the suitor-slaughter. BUT WOULDN'T HE BE BRILLIANT AS AGAMEMNON???

Proteus, god of the Sea

Proteus is both king of Memphis in mythology, but also a sea-god (like Nereus) who shepherds seals and cannot lie. I've made them different characters, but I think they could pull off being played by the same actor. Proteus of the sea is a shape-changer, changing into a lion, snake, water and fire (!), but is often thought of as being half-man-half-seasnake.

Hello Sir Derek Jacobi, I love you but am also very cross with you right now, be a seasnake-seal-shepherd.

I’ll edit this post when I think of more.

[sarahhillips]

And I’m at it Again, I’m Toasted Watching Liberty’s Kids

United We Stand

To think from the opening montage that Benedict Arnold was supposed to be a role model for Sarah and then he turned his back like that.

Oh fuck this is the episode with the tarring and feathering.

“Leave your politics on board!” Is the same thing parents tell their kids before Thanksgiving.

Would you like a live chicken sir

“And passions, as you know, can makes mens blood run hot.” So, she is a dragon girl. Give her a dragon.

Henri hanging off the press handle 😂

“Facts can be stubborn things.”

That dude did nothing wrong and James is sick in the head for thinking that that’s funny.

James, you’re being a dick. Listen to John Addams.

DaggerQuill sounds like a 4chan username.

Moses is like ‘Oh lawd with this boy’

Sarah being just as excited about seeing the new land as her dad.

Henri the sheep whisperer 😂

Patrick Henry rocking that plum coat.

Hey mom I just met my bestie Mrs. Addams

Sheep to the rescue! 🐑

Omg James not the sailor guy again

Ok Dr. Sexy

James how did you know that tars that hot

Moses is like ‘Oh we going in there to see him.’

Well, now you know James

Sarah saw the redcoats acting out of line and said ‘We’re not doing this shit today’.

Sheep: 1 Redcoats: 0

Liberty or Death

Bonk

“James, we’re going on a roadtrip.”

Moses is ballsy af

James doesn’t bathe and that doesn’t shock me.

“Omg road trip? We’re totes coming!”

I could never imagine pushing a wagon up a hill like that.

Lady Phillips also wears a golden locket so I’m sure Major Phillips got both of them lockets.

Sarah’s like ‘This place is nice’ then sees the auction block and is like 👁️👄👁️

And then Moses goes off by himself like he doesn’t have a target on his head in this town

Nooooo poor Cato 😭😭😭

Sarah, why didn’t you hit that man.

Harrison is a c*nt.

I’d like to know more about Cato and Moses as children.

Patrick Henry craves violence

Cato already has his mind made up about being a regular character on the show

The cup of liberty? Sounds refreshing. I’m thirsty af.

[destinyc1020]

Finally watched the bachelorette finale.. why am i shocked that the Pete Davidson lookalike love bombed her n then broke up with her 🙃 so many issies with this season:

- why did they only have 2 asian men the whole season? 1 being more worried about the male drama then the relationship he had with her

- the Jack lookalike having the audacity to mention Maria then Devin started following her right afte he broke up with Jenn 😒 we get it, sum of yall wanted Maria. For sum of the contestants to mention a white contestant when yr a whole LEAD of a franchise, disrespextful af. And even more awkward cuz i dnt think Jenn n Maria are even friends anymore. And even if Maria was the lead i still think a lot of these men wuldv fucked it up with her

-The whole Devin situation... was he acting the whole time? So sad

-They shuldve given Jenn a choice to watch the proposal and made Devin watch it. She said "do i have a choice?" and no, she didnt. How sadistic of the producers.

-Nt Jenn related bt the way they annouced Grant was the lead was lame. Shuldv been announced live where we can hear ppl cheer for him instead of it being in a prerecorded video.

Girl! All of this!! 👏🏾

I agree with everything you said.

Girl, I thought the same thing. You're telling me that they couldn't find any eligible Asian men? 🥴 There was a really cute one on someone's season prior. I think his name was John. I just can't recall who's season it was. 😭

Ugh I'm so sick and tired of all the guys wanting Daisy and Maria. 🙄 I'm actually shocked ABC didn't make Maria the next Bachelorette, but maybe they saw greater potential with her for BIP. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Either way, it was disrespectful as idk what of Sam to tell Jenn on a national radio show that he was actually thinking the Bachelorette was going to be Daisy or Maria. See, this is the problem with ABC. They just build a cast, but don't tell them who the lead will be until it's way late. 🙄 That's not fair to woc imo. It also isn't fair just in general because you don't know if the person was really there for you.

I clocked Devin early on. I never liked him for Jenn. I was starting to warm up to him towards the end, only because he seemed like he was so into Jenn, which was smthg that was refreshing compared to indecisive Marcus 🙄. But still, he wasn't my first pick. And sure enough, my gut was right! Always go with your gut ladies!! It almost never fails you. My top two picks were Grant and Jonathan. Why Jenn chose such homely-looking, and indecisive men when she had both fiiiine Jonathan and Grant (who were seriously into her btw) standing RIGHT THERE is totally beyond me. 😒

I agree. They should have aired the proposal and the show the whole way through, and THEN brought Jenn out to explain what happened AFTER the show ended. The way they just kept her on stage and had the camera on her the entire time while she's crying and re-living her pain on air, LIVE, for all of America to see, was just sadistic and very low of ABC. 😠 That was uncalled for.

I thought his phone call to his mom was cute 🥰, but I agree, I would have preferred to have heard the live reaction from the audience. But hey, they said they already had the most applicants for a bachelor ever soooo rofl 🤣 😂

[stormoflina]

Omg your name 😮

I came here to tell you that you were right about middle aged Hungarians and their hate on LGBTQ . I think it's Sheffield utd captain who refused to wear the rainbow armband and one Hungarian jurno posted it like some proud news. You can imagine that tons of comments under it from the grownass old men profile which applauded him and described him as such a hero and only the brave. They even slated Virgil and Liverpool in general for wearing it like Dominik's team support it, their cap wears it, blah blah. feel so sick and disgusting. Imagine If they found out about Dominik liked that prem IG post. Jakub Moder of Brighton liked it too btw.

Too many (okay, like 2 people😭) of you thought my name is Lina. It's not even close, so I felt it was time to come out with the double sz, lol.

Oh yeah, I saw that. It was leading news for a time in the most popular hungarian sports news website, just like you say, celebrating that man like a hero.

That site is crazy toxic, sometimes reading the comments actually makes me depressed of the state of some people. I mean I'm all about respecting people's opinions, but those people are vile.

Funny how you mention Virg, because a month or two ago, for the Dutch nt, Virg said they decided as a team to not wear the rainbow armband and instead he sported the 'respect' one. That was leading news, too, this time praising VVD for being 'normal'. These are the same people who literally jerk of for every bad performance Dominik has and slander him every given chance if he is not named MOTM or scores/assists a goal. That site, and unfortunately many more, are home to really hateful, disgusting human beings.

[slowlystupendousdelusion]

So I saw Nye the other day

Assorted thoughts:

I didn't know that much about him beyond him being Welsh, NHS architect and that they have a statue of him outside Cardiff McDonalds which has the largest amount of bird shit on a statue I have ever seen, so this was also educational.

(Side note: isn't it mad that he's not really talked about that much? Like they spend so long in school banging on about the war they don't talk about the social reforms in the aftermath? Actually this may be due to me dropping history in year 9)

So first of all NT is lovely (at least the inside of it is, I'm clearly a philistine cause I can't get behind the architecture 😅) and we had fairly cheap tickets in the stalls but were still quite close. We were off to the side so the view of one side of the stage was slightly impeded due to the curtains but this didn't impede my enjoyment!

The conceit of the play is that Nye is on his death bed and having morphine-fuelled flashbacks to moments in his life. And the play really takes you through a whole gamut of emotions. (I was going through them like a sine curve)

The joy in the scene where Nye is shown a library for the first time is absolutely infectious. Him chatting up Jennie also made me beam. Before watching, I was worried this scene would be a bit cringe, but Sheen really sold it.

Actually there were quite a lot of laugh out loud bits throughout which felt like quite a feat given that it's interspersed with being on the verge of tears.

Him trying to keep busy to avoid the reality of his father's sickness and impending death and the frustration of his sister is so heartbreaking and so so real. And then later Jennie saying We don't talk about/ he doesn't want to talk about it (emotions) is so sad and really rings true for men of that era.

There were some quite clear parallels being made with politics today which I found quite depressing. Why have the conversations on benefits not moved on in 90 or so years?? (Side note: At the time I really thought that the pandemic would be a catalyst for change in the same way the war had been. The fact that it has not been is so disappointing to me and i was rudely reminded of this when watching) Seeing him raise himself up to MP is quite inspirational, but it did make me question how possible that would be today.

It was quite refreshing to see Churchill portrayed more disparagingly. I wonder if it was perhaps a bit uncharitable to Jennie Lee? She tries to hide the severity of his condition and they speak far more about her infidelity (while glossing over Nye's) which doesn't exactly cover her in glory.

I'm not sure the ending worked that well for me - I think it was supposed to be a celebration that the NHS was able to give people dignity at the end of life, but I came out sad that even with all his hard work, the NHS wasn't able to save him.

Anyway, obviously Michael Sheen was very good, and turns out he can also sing? He is very much front and centre on this - the other characters are rather more in the background. I was also impressed Kezrena James who switched effortlessly between accents when switching characters.

So for the set I love the use of the hospital curtains as curtains (lovely colour too!) and this really makes the red pyjamas pop against them. And obviously you couldn't put Nye in the more traditional blue striped pyjamas for party political reasons. Jennie also wears a lot of red (and I had shoe envy in the hospital scenes too). The way they adapted the curtains to look like the house of commons seats was really clever.

The use of beds was interesting and I suppose needed to stop the hospital setting becoming a bit static. Actually there must have been a lot of choreography needed for this and they make it look effortless. Some of the humour is derived directly from the movement too.

The use of lasers to show a rock face in a coal mine while showing a heart rate was visually interesting but I'm not sure how well it worked for me - maybe it worked better from a head-on seat? I did enjoy the miners lamp lighting the dark stage prior to that bit though.

I think my favourite scene aesthetically was the one right before the interval as his father is dying and the stage is all dark, evoking the coal mine, the spotlight on the (white) bed with his dad laying across it also all dressed in black.

So overall there was quite a lot going on in this play. The song number doesn't feel jarring because of the context of fitful dreams. I almost think it might work better in a film context than theatre though? I don't know whether it's maybe trying to accomplish too much - it tries to cover both the story of Nye the person and the creation of the NHS and switches focus between the halves. Both of those topics (albeit intertwined) would be more than enough to cover within a two hour play! There are so many things that are mentioned in passing but they don't have time to explore - the unconventional marriage, why did Jennie have to give up her career for Nye? (I assume 1930s 30ing but I don't actually know and it's not obvious?), did his relationship with his sister improve?, what was going on with the Labour party factions etc etc. But I guess part of the point is to encourage people to find out more.

There isn't that long left of the run but I definitely would recommend for an enjoyable evening if you can make it (and you might even learn something!)

[papirouge]

You know, this is pretty silly, but I'm kinda starting to dislike the term "PoC", mostly because its used so often when it doesnt make sense. Like I still recognize its usefullness sometimes, but many times I'll see phrases like "POC are usually considered dangerous and threatening". Like I'm sorry, but in what world are asians considered scary or dangerous, or light skinned hispanics and native americans? It's literally only black and brown people that are seen this way. I dont know why so many people like to group every single non-white together when our experiences are often very different. "POC tend to be more disadvantaged at any level of education and perform worse." Again. asians literally kick white people asses when it comes to academics and success, literally what the fuck are you talking about??? Just say blacks and hispanics, like its only a few words more."

That's why I'm pro black women. Not pro Black (Black men can choke and BLM was a pro Black MAN movement) and not pro POC. Asians are infamously anti Black and I'll never forget how glad they were to feast on the anti BLM/the 13% Black menace resentment to push their anti asian hate thing. There was a reddit threat with a asian man saying Black people had the blood of the asian women who got killed by that WHITE psychopath..... His reaction is everything you need to know about how Asians will always suck up whiteness to dunk on Blacks.

And yeah, I roll my eyes soooo bad whenever I see Asians pull out the bEing a MoDel MinOritY is HaRd.....hmmmm, shut up? 🙃 they have the same lack of self awareness has those millionaires complainzd about being stuck in their 1500 square mansion during quarantine..... Just shut up, already.

And despite their struggle of being the model minority, Asians never peep a word when the Whites are using them to diss Blacks and argue that the problem is that they're just stupid and need to integrate moar (of course they forget that Asian vs Black immigration story are entirely different, their racial stigma is not comparable (east asians are still PALE and phenotypically very closer to whiteness than Blacks and that definitely plays a role). So deep down, they LOVE being the model minority and stick up FOR THEMSELVES when the Whites don't on other POC. They just pretend being sad about it to sound relatable to other non White communities and rebuke the "Asians are white supremacy cucks" narrative.

That being said, I'm the first to point out how the Black community needs to get its shit together. Of course, rap culture got created by the CIA to destroy the African American community, this whole ghetto, baby mama, glorifying illiteracy shit got shoved to Black Americans.. None of those things are organic to Blackness, otherwise it would still be as much of a thing in Africa, when that's not the case (African immigrants do better in the USA than ADOS, that's for a reason) but there's still need to be accountability. I'm sick of some Blacks acting like Blacks dealing drugs and shooting each other were victims. They are predator and need to be treated as such. Candace Owens is insane but she's very right on that aspect. Black men are the main source of Black femicide yet those men expect us to mule for them against White supremacy..... Black women need to burn the cape and look out for THEMSELVES. Black men are emasculated bum and will always use their women as human shield than hold themselves accountable (they always blame their shortcomings on White supremacy, yet lust after the White man's women...the same women birthing their oPpResSor lmao). This realization made me snap out of that BLM shit (not that I was really into this anyway but I thought it was still a positive thing that more ppl grew aware of police brutality) and made me pro Black women. Other communities can choke big time.

And don't get me started on Latinos. Those people will clown gringos to sound cool but weren't they the one clowning France soccer NT and how full of Blacks it was so they possibly couldn't be french? Weren't Argentinian soccer fans bragged about their White passing team and how their country wasn't "like a Netflix movie"? lmao Those idiots have the tragic mulato curse written all over their butt. They milk their latin-ness at convenience but will ultimately always stick to the Whites like the brainwashed colonizer crossbreed spawn that they are. They are raging colorists for a reason.... That's why I only trust & claim Black looking latinos à la Dominican Republic or Brazil - the others are White idc lmao White Latinos are demented and I'm absolutely not surprised they were so cool to welcome nazi. Absolute demonic breed... Their lizard lineage can't seat at the POC table. We humans out here.

[yamoksaucebodyshots]

A thing I hate about dating NT men as a trans masc autistic person too is they always eventually throw out the "you're intimidating" comment and it feels patronising in the very least. Like it happens every time and it makes me sick every time.

[rubendiass]

This match just made me so angry as well because of how the women’s nt is treated but still give their all and they played a muchhh better game while the men get all the praise and support and money but play like how they just did. I hate it all

[catchmewjsn]

I'm so upset over things i have no control over!!!!

[gyuprint]

next man tht talks to me thts not hendery xiaojun or yuta is losing KNEE CAPS

[hacked-by-jake]

Jake groaned in pain, looking at his phone. MC has been texting him for the past hour but he gell asleep and didn't answer any messages. If nt that famned fever he would be up and working on something useful instead. He looked at the muted group chat and realized he had anther unread message. Phil.

Phil: Hey emo, your friend wanted help for you so my sister is sending me with homemade chicken soup, you will have to deal with me around 3 pm ;)

Fucking fantastic. The hacker sighed and tried to get up, but his migraine only worsened as he did so. He lied back down and smiled to himself. Phil wanted to get there? Fine, but he didn't have the keys. Jake got more comfortable under the covers and pulled his laptop across the bed so he could finish his work earlier. He didn't even manage to turn the program on as he heard knocking on his front door.

"Hey, it's me, Phil! Open the doors, will you?" He shouted. Jake rolled his eyes, but quickly looked in the doors direction again. "MC gave me the key buddy, you either open them yourself or I will do it."

It couldn't be true, MC wouldn't give Phil the key... Would they? Before the hacker could sit up more straight, he heard key being turned in the lock and, before he knew it, the bar owner was in his appartment.

"Told you." Phil said, peeking into Jake's bedroom. He saw the hacler's expression and smiled. "I brought you food, since you probably wouldn't take care of yourself."

"Get out." Jake growled. Phil chuckled and left the bedroom. He went to the kitchen to get the food ready. The hacker didn't move from his spot on the bed, ppening his chat with MC to tell them he didn't like how they played it. As the answer, he got a smiley face.

"Come on, get up, if you want to go back to doing your mystical computer magic soon, you need to eat." Phil said, entering the bedroom again. He leaned against the doorway, still grinning like an idiot. Jake set his laptop to the side and rised an eyebrow.

"I can take care of myself you know." He said, turning onto his side, away from the bar owner. Phil deadpanned. That would be harder than he thought.

"You clearly can't." The bar owner said and walked to the bed. He grabbed Jake by his waist and dragged him across the bed. The hacker clutched the blanket immediately and covered himself more. "What? Giding something, are we?"

"Shut up." Jake said and blushed. Phil pulled the blanket off the hacker in one swift motion and almost burst out laughing. He was wearing a black cat kigurumi. "Go away."

"Adorable." Phil mused, picking Jake up and throwing him over his shoulder. The hacker would probably try to get away if not how he was feeling. "Now, let's go to the kitchen, shall we?"

"You are going to get sick." Jake said, when Phil decided to rest his chin on the smaller man's shoulder. The bar owner kept the hacker under a thick blanket as they watched movies together.

"I have an amazing immune system, I won't." He said and handed Jake a water bottle. "Drink it or MC will murder me if I won't keep you hydrated."

Phil woke up on Jake's couch with a headache and stuffed nose. He slowly got up to a sitting position only to see Jake, sitting at the kicthe table with his head on top of it and Jessy standing in front of the stove making tea. Phil sniffed, what caused his sister to look around at him.

"Immune system my ass." Jake mumbled, not looking up. The bar owner would murder him if not how weak he felt. Jessy giggled and returned to preparing tea.

"Phil, we are going home. Jake you are going with us, MC's orders." She joked, causing both men to groan annoyed. They didn't argue though, they didn't want to have an angry MC on their backs again.

Omg this is perfect xD

My favorite moment is the moment when Jake says, "Immune system, my ass." 😂 But it’s always like that, isn’t it? Someone says, "Oh, I’m not getting sick." Boom, yes, you will. xD

Oh, I love that. *-* I can well imagine that Jake thought MC was kidding him when he suddenly got the message from them. xD

And the moment Phil says, "MC gave me the key," Oh, I’m sorry for Jake.😂

But it’s sweet how sure Phil is and that he actually came to help Jake, and I like the way you described Phil. Even the sentences he says fit him very well in my opinion. :D

And when he pulled Jake over the mattress, the moment was kind of so sweet and funny, hehe.

And I like the role you gave MC, that everyone says, "MC ordered this, so I have to do it, I don’t want to die." xD

To be honest, I’m not sure they’re going to get well. It’s quite a love-hate thing, it seems to me, and either they help each other to get well, or they just make each other even sicker by annoying each other.😂

It was really good and I really enjoyed reading it, dear Anon! Thank you so much for writing and sharing it with us! I really appreciate it! <3

I wish Jake and Phil a good recovery! xD

Again, thank you a lot! I hope you will have a beautiful day/evening/night! Lots of love and hugs! 💚🌹🎭

[piplupod]

part of me is sick of NT white cishet men being the ones to explore abandoned asylums and make a big spectacle out of it bc theyre usually so disrespectful abt it, but also... oubgh history and abandoned buildings <333

[croatian-nt]

Domo podcast

Alright, I am posting my podcast translations here. Idk how often I’ll be able to post them, but I’ll make sure all 26 of them eventually end up here. So first one had Domagoj Vida and  Ndermin Redžaj (who will be refered as Deki through the text) as first guests. Translation below the cut bc this will be long

Tomislav Pacak, one of two hosts, does an introduction of the podcast and says it will feature each day one player and one member of the staff for 26 days.

Host: Or goal here was to introduce or get to know the players and members of the staff who are part of the team better. I see our first episode, with Domagoj with a physiotherapist Ndermin Redžaj will be fun. Although very challenging for me, a host

 Domo was asked about the end of his season in Beskitas. His was talking about it and at one point he said "of course, we over complicated things for ourselves, the way croatian nt does usually"

Then, Domo and Deki(who is a Domo's physiotherapist) talk about how they know each other for a very long time.

Domo: Yeah Deki is a very good friend and colleague. Along with massaging me, he also cooks very well

Deki: oh Vida cooks even better. He puts us all in the car and takes us to the nearest restaurant

 Host: How does your wife handles the fact that you are in mostly men's company?

Domo: oh, she handles it well. We can also always leave them to handle David for a few hours and we go out alone

 Host: What memories do you associate with your time in Russia in 2018?(directed at Deki)

Domo, cutting in: Bunga, bunga!

Deki, trying not laugh: Well, I definetly remember the atmosphere

 Host: What about you Domagoj?

Domo: Well, for me, I mostly remember what we did in our free time. How we had fun, and most fond memories come from massage room where the whole team often spent a lot of time

 Host: During doček you were hanging from the bus few times right? Who kept you up again?

Domo: oh yeah, I hanged like a ceiling lamp. Suba and coach held me up. But generally, that whole day is one of my most fond memories. Whenever I am at hard point in my life, I turn on doček on youtube and I instantly feel better

Domo: It's weird you know? People still tell me „Thank you" even today as they did on doček

 Host: How was it with all the mixed feelings after the final? Were you all proud immediately after or was there some bitterness at first?

Domo: well, it all depends on people individually. For me, it hit ne hard. We were so close to winning and I was crushed. Everyone kept telling me "keep your head high, we should be proud". It was only after we came back to hotel and started celebrating that the good feelings started to come back

 Host: Alright, first card break. These are which one would you choose

Domo, under his breath: pancakes

Deki: *laughs *

Domo: don't laugh at me dragi! Don't. Oh *looks at first card * you should have pulled out this one. Beer or wine?

Deki: depends on a moment

Host: okay what about...after the win against England? Deki: beer. Definitely beer

Deki, to Domo: sand or pebbles(on a beach)

Domo: sand. I don't like pebbles. They hurt my-

*He cuts himself off, everyone laughs*

Domo: ...my feet

 Deki: Batman or Superman? Domo: what was the first again?

Deki: Batman

Domo: *burts out laughing * there are cameras here!

*both laughing *

Domo: inaudible from laughter in the mouth

Domo, finally stops laughing, makes a straight face: Superman

Domo: just because of...you know *laughs again *

Deki: okay, okay, yeah

 Deki: burek or ćevapi

Domo: ooof. ćevapi. I am sick of burek from Istambul, I eat it every third day.

 Host: Pick three cards in which you'll choose one of your teammate

Domo: Livaković *pointing at something off camera *

Host, turning around: I see he came to watch since it's turn tomorrow

Domo: yeah, he came to watch me break the ice. Watch and learn son, watch and learn

Domo, to Deki: which teammate would you let change your tire

Deki: Livakovic

*all laugh *

Livi, off the camera: you won't go far!

Domo: it's because you have golden hands

 Deki: which teammate would you choose for a partner in show potjera(hunt)?

(So in the show, there are 4 people who signed up to be there and they form a team. They need to go through three challenges to leave with money, and "the hunter", has to try and catch them by answering more questions than them. It's a bit more complicated than that but that's the gist of it)

Domo: Badelj

Deki: which teammate would you let cook you dinner?

Domo: ufff. I don't think anyone here know how to. Hmmm *thinking for thirty seconds *

Deki: Kale, maybe?(Kalinic in case someone doesn't understand our dumb nicknames)

Domo: no, he has good prosciutto, but that isn't cooking

Deki: Sluga?

Domo: Sluga! Yes, he is good!

 Domo: who would you trust with a secret?

Deki: Domagoj Vida

Domo: that-that's. Well. I guess you don't have many of them

 Deki: who would you choose for business partner

*they make eye contact and burst out laughing *

Deki: he isn't here!

Domo, still laughing: Lovren then!

 Host: one of the players you worked with privately, even outside of national team is Mario Mandzukic. He is very popular but he has this sort of untouchable image. How is he in his private life?

Deki: he is only like that in public. He is like the rest of the team. For me, they are firstly good people, and only then good players

Deki: we all know what Mario is like. He seems like he is no good but he is actually a very good man(direct translation is he is a soul of a man which is a term used in croatian)

Domo, in a bit silly voice: soul

Domo: a good man but...no I am kidding. He is a good man and we miss him here in nt. I think he retired too early but it was his choice and we respect it. The two of us(he and Deki he means) used to spend time with him more than the others and he is truly a great man. And he is always ready to help, not just those he is on good terms with but everyone

 Host: you said yourself massage room is very important in national team. Is it the same in your club as well?

Domo: well no, not as far as I noticed. People from foreign countries have different rituals, but I noticed this is very important to people from balkan. It's very important for atmosphere. After training and all the activities for the day are done, 10 or so of us guys will gather there for massage and since you go in one by one as you wait there will be fun and joking around and stuff like that. So that's very important for atmosphere, which we saw in Russia how important that can be

 Host: round three of cards with questions

Deki: what's your favorite part of a training

Host, jokingly: it isn't the breaks?

Domo: ufff. So, I like the most when a day before the actual game, older play against younger and it's the very end of the game. With centre shots between two people

 Deki: Favorite jersey?

Host: That isn't Croatian

Domo: Beskitas. Of course

 Deki: favorite club when you were a child?

Domo: Barcelona

 Host: Domo, you are nt's dj from what I heard

Domo: I suppose-

Host: so, what music do you play before and after games and what in the bus?

Domo: well, mostly narodni radio. But I mostly gave up that role to others now. To Šime Vrsaljko, and there was Jedvaj before, too

Domo: and I think during this time we'll get Livaković to do it too. He is young and he will have a long career in nt, so we should teach him how it's done

Host: you already answered this for UEFA, but I was wondering if you could repeat it. Who is the best dancer, singer etc of the team?

Domo: I am not sure I remember what I said

Host: I can remind you. You said Livakovic is the best dancer

Domo: oh, yes, true! He is the best dance he has these moves *moves side to side with hands and body * and does everything with his hips

Host: And the best singer?

Domo: there is no best singer. We sing the best all together

 Host: Do you still watches Osijek games? Since it was your first club

Domo: yeah, of course. I am glad to see they are doing well. I also watch Dinamo games since I have friend-

Host, half laughing: Livakovic?

Domo, grinning: Livakovic, our dear octopus, and Bruno and Orša...

Domo: but I'd like them to slow down a bit, leave something for Osijek you guys. Although they have been very good this year too

 Host: Last card break. It's „who in the national team...“

Deki: Who gets mad the fastest?

Domo: Broz. But he also stop being angry the fastest

 Deki: Who is the best at public speaking?

Domo: oh, coach, definitely. But from players, Badelj

 Host: so which clubs and players do you love to watch and some maybe that you used to love to watch before?

Deki: well I used to love watching Milan during Boban's time. Today, I love watching Real Madrid. And for players Luka of course. Benzema-

Domo: oh god

 Host: so how is now with Corluka being a coach when he was your teammate only a short while ago?

Domo: well, it's only the first day so we didn't have much time to talk. It's a bit weird with Carli being a joker and a gentlmen both in one. We are used to joking around but during training now that isn't the case because he is the coach and he should be treated as such. After it though, we can relax a bit more and talk

 Host: that's all guys, thank you for this and thank you for breaking the ice in this show. Although you put the bar pretty high, I guess we'll see tomorrow if Livakovic can outdo you

Domo: I am sure he will, you'll have two goalies tomorrow

[clearlyshyobservation]

Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective 

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

[drummergirl231-2]

Happy Autism Awareness/Acceptance Day 2020!

To me, true awareness and acceptance go hand-in-hand. I still don’t mind the word “awareness,” since most people, even people who think they’re spreading Autism awareness, aren’t totally aware of what it is or what it’s like. But I also love calling it Autism Acceptance Day, because that’s what we need more than anything. 

To spread some awareness, I’d like to address some misconceptions about Autism and share some other thoughts I wish people knew/understood.

1. Autists/Aspies do not lack empathy. 

I found this thing and it explains it super well so I’ll just leave it here:

Imagine a scenario where you say something totally innocent and it triggers the person you’re talking to. They start flying off the handle at you and you don’t know why. But because they’re angry, you are, too. But since you don’t know why they’re angry, you don’t know why you’re angry, either. It’s crazy overwhelming and confusing. And you want to fix whatever you did because you don’t want this other person to be angry or hurt, but you don’t know how, because their all-consuming rage makes it really hard to think and try to put yourself in their shoes. Also, you’re scared on top of it all.

That’s what having high affective and compassionate empathy and low cognitive empathy is like. It’s not that we don’t care. It’s that we care too much, and all the super specific nuances of socializing are things we have to learn one at a time, through either our mistakes or others’ mistakes. These things don’t come naturally to us, but it’s not like we can’t learn. If I were to compare math to socializing, it’s like you all have calculators or other doohickeys to do all the math for you and we just have paper and a pencil... and no eraser. 

2. Autism is not a mental illness to be “cured.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I am ALL FOR people finding ways to help us be able to deal with the world better, whether that’s a better diet, items to block out sensory stimuli or items that stimulate, or counselling that can help us navigate social situations and talk through anxiety and/or depression. But those things don’t “cure,” us because Autism isn’t a disease or something wrong with us. Autism gives us different challenges, sure, but neutotypicals have their own challenges. 

The symptoms typically associated with “low-functioning,” Autism don’t necessarily have to be a part of Autism. Many non-verbal kids grow up to be verbal. That doesn’t mean they stopped being autistic. There was a celebrity mom years ago who claimed to “cure” her son’s Autism with a gluten-free dairy-free diet. He’d been so trapped in his head, he couldn’t engage with the world around him. She altered his diet and one day he laughed at Spongebob, and that was a turning point. He became able to interact with people and react to things on TV. It was a huge breakthrough. But he was still autistic. If you were to have plopped me down on a rug as a toddler next to a toddler like this celebrity’s son before his altered diet, you wouldn’t think I was autistic at all by comparison. But I was, and I am.

Autism is a different neurological blueprint, and yes, brain-healthy diets and detoxes can do wonders for us because it seems like our brain type does make us more susceptible to negative effects from neurotoxins. But if you think someone has lost their Autism just because “the bad parts,” went away... no. That’s not how it works.

3. Not everyone is “a little autistic.” 

When I was newly diagnosed and trying to process it, someone told me something along the lines of, there there, we’re all a little autistic. But that’s not true. There are a lot of traits associated with this brain type, and yes, a neurotypical person can have a few of them. That doesn’t make them a little autistic. To be considered autistic at all, you’d have to have a large number of quirks plus social delays (not associated with excessive technology use), odd or repetitive behaviors, unusual and intense interests, communication struggles, and unusual sensory processing. Suppose you’re white. If you are white, this should be easy to imagine. Say an African American just told you about some of the challenges they’ve faced, whether it’s race-based bullying in school or racial profiling later on. Would it be appropriate to say, “There there, we’re all a little black?” NO. One, it’s false. Two, while all people struggle with stuff because to be human is to struggle sometimes, the struggles of different groups of people are totally different, and you can’t say you know exactly what it’s like or pretend everyone’s the same. We all have equal dignity and worth, but beyond that, everyone’s different. Don’t pretend differences don’t exist. Just value them.

4. Autism doesn’t have a “look.”

When I tell people I’m autistic, this is usually what I hear: “Wow! I wouldn’t have guessed! You don’t look autistic.”  ...What does that even mean??? Is it supposed to be a compliment? Because if it’s a compliment I “don’t look autistic,” then that’s kind of an insult to other autistic people. Or do they mean it like, “I don’t believe you’re really autistic because I have a preconceived idea of what an autistic person looks like and you don’t fit the bill so I’m not going to give you grace if you act weird?” I don’t know. Y’all say weird things too, sometimes, ya know? But Autism doesn’t have a look. There is a sort of distant intensity in our gaze sometimes... and I can legit see it when Jim Parsons plays Sheldon Cooper, but when I see an interview with him as himself, it’s gone. It’s not a fixed feature of our faces, and a talented NT could totally put it on.

5. Autism presents itself differently in boys and girls.

You know how not a lot of people know the symptoms of heart attacks in women because mainly people only talk about what a heart attack is like for men? It’s kinda like that with Autism, too. Typically when you hear about Autism, you’re hearing about the signs and symptoms in boys. Even most pediatricians only know to look for the way it presents in boys, which is how so many girls don’t get a diagnosis until later in life, if ever.  One difference is that, for whatever reason, girls tend to be better at nonverbal communication and taking hints. We’re mimics. Chameleons. We take on the mannerisms of those around us and who we see on TV as we force ourselves to adapt. Verbal boys might speak at unusual volumes or with an unusual voice, rhythm, or cadence, but verbal girls learn to mimic the speech patterns of others. Our special interests/obsessions aren’t typically seen as strange given our age and sex. For example, a six-year-old autistic boy might be fascinated by WWII. I was interested in fetal development. People thought, “What’s so weird about that? She’s a little girl who loves babies.” We often play with Barbies or other dolls long after our peers have stopped. It helps autistic girls process social situations. When I was shamed out of liking Barbies, I started writing stories in notebooks or in my head. Autistic boys usually struggle with social communication from an early age, but autistic girls usually don’t have any major communication struggles until adolescence, when relationships, platonic or romantic, get way more complicated.  Since little autistic girls can mimic their neurotypical peers, and since some doctors only know how to look for Autism in boys, we tend to fly under the radar, causing that huge gender gap in diagnoses.

6. Mental illness is common with Autism, but NOT part of it.

I read an article by an autist in the UK who struggles to get help for his anxiety or depression because therapists have brushed him off, saying “Well, that’s just part of being Autistic, so it can’t be helped.” NO! Just like neurotypicals can be mentally healthy or unhealthy, Autistic people can be mentally healthy or unhealthy. Just because something is common for us doesn’t mean it’s how it’s supposed to be, or that it’ll always be that way, or that it’s part of who we are and we need to embrace it. People with mental illnesses should be embraced (literally or figuratively, depending on what they’re comfortable with). Mental illnesses should not be embraced. Ever. Because autistic kids and adults often face abuse, bullying, discrimination, and are ostracized, anxiety (especially social anxiety) and depression are common for us. In more serious cases, especially in autistic teens and young adults, dissociative disorders can develop. What’s worse, it doesn’t take much looking to find the dark corners of the internet where people, autistic or not, are encouraged to embrace their developing dissociative thoughts and feelings. I once saw an interview with someone who found healing from a dissociative disorder, and she gets emails every day from others with the same disorder she had who regret some of the things they were talked into doing while living with the condition and  who want to find the healing she did. She said many of them are autistic and under the age of twenty-five. Autistic people with mental illnesses shouldn’t be talked into believing their mental illnesses are a part of them, or not mental illnesses at all, or something to celebrate and cling to. I reject the notion we should have to settle for being ill in any way. We deserve to be as healthy and whole as anyone else, and it makes me sick there are so many internet predators preying on us in this way, and that there are therapists who think Autism and mental illness has to be a packaged deal.

7. If LGBT people were treated the way autistic people are by the media, it’d lead to outrage. But it seems like no one is outraged on our behalf.

We’ve seen the news stories, haven’t we? A couple invites the news over to their house, upsetting their autistic child who then has a meltdown, the meltdown is filmed and aired, and the parents are just like, “This is what our life is like because of Autism. And it sucks. Pity us.”

There was one video I saw... I’m just so enraged by it, even after two years. A mother was praised for her open honesty as she vilified her autistic son and complained about how he ruined her life and how hard it is to go out and have people stare. I’m sorry, hard for WHO??? I don’t even want to go into the details. I know only sharing this much doesn’t make it sound like that bad of a video, it’s just... ugh. Guys. It’d be a whole separate post. I can’t deal with it right now. 

If parents went on the news after their kid came out to them as gay, and wept and begged for pity and said some of the things this woman said of her autistic son (wondering what she did wrong that made her deserve this or that led to this or saying she doesn’t believe in God but finds herself praying anyway that God’ll “fix him”), America would call them the worst parents ever. But parents of autistic kids who do this are praised for their openness and vulnerability as they publicly shame their child.

Another time, after a mass shooting carried out by a teenage boy, the news reported that he was autistic and that might have contributed to the attack (there they go, combining mental illness with Autism as one and the same again).

If a pedophile were arrested, and they said on the news, “And we just got word that he’s gay, so that may be why,” there’d be a riot. But the news can pin autists as mass murderers and no one bats an eye!

All of May last year working at a clothing store, I watched as various departments filled up with pride t-shirts to get ready for June, and I couldn’t help but think,

Where were the Autism acceptance t-shirts in March to get ready for April?

I probably shouldn’t be so surprised with the media painting us as life-ruiners and life-enders. 

I know it’s a vile and disgusting thing for me to be jealous of LGBT people in this way, especially since they have their own struggles, too. I just wish society had our backs and celebrated us instead of wanting us “fixed,” for their own convenience, ya know?

8. Almost all of us hate Autism Speaks, and those who don’t are probably just new. XD

I used to be all “Light it up blue!” as well (even though that seemed weird to me, given blue lights might be overwhelming to some people on the spectrum). But then I read something on their site that made me feel really betrayed, and down the line, I learned most autistic people hate them... some because they saw them say the opposite of what I saw they said. Basically we all have different opinions but Autism Speaks spouts whatever information their donors want them to (sellouts), and that donated money doesn’t go towards helping us, but toward more fundraising or research on how to prevent people with our brain type. I guess they’re not fond of the artistic and scientific advancements we bring to the table. They should change those puzzle pieces from blue or multi-colored to white with black specks because they want a world that’s vanilla. 

9. Some of us still like the puzzle pieces, even if we hate Autism Speaks.

I’ve talked about this in a fanfic, but I’d love it if we could redeem the puzzle pieces, because they’re still a good analogy if you assign a different meaning. Autists and NTs are puzzling to each other, no sense denying that, but the more time we spend together, the more we start to understand each other. Also, Autism does have a lot of pieces, and figuring out I was autistic was like solving the puzzle of my life. The missing pieces came together and things became clearer and made more sense. Also also, some autistic people are really good at puzzles. And then there are autists like me who aren’t necessarily good at puzzles, but get totally absorbed in working on them anyway (my parents have been doing some puzzles during the quarantine lol they’re traps! TRAPS I SAY!!!).

Nevertheless, I understand why other autistis don’t like the puzzle pieces and prefer the rainbow infinity symbol, and I quite like it, too. It’s very pretty, and the way the colors fade together is a nice symbol of how it’s a spectrum.

It’s a sign of the infinite possibilities in our lives when we’re empowered, because we can do and have done good and great things in the world.