#but they were choices made in the canon and I can use other subtext

[wntrmelts]

Why I view/write Kaeya as living an inherently feminine experience

(reposting this essay from twitter)

This entire post will be a long string of observations and headcanons surrounding why I believe Kaeya’s story is an inherently feminine experience. It includes canon interactions but also explanations as to why I write him in a certain way in my works. Also, I would like to establish that with ‘feminine’ I am not explicitly talking about gender expression, but more so the societal expectations and gender roles that have been put on women. By this definition, a feminine experience is not exclusive to women only.

Starting in his childhood, Kaeya is described as being gentle and polite by Adelinde (1) whilst Diluc was described as more rambunctious. As they grew up, Kaeya, being the more reserved one, seemed to always stay in Diluc’s shadow (2).

The question is whether this was by choice or something that was imposed upon him. In a way, I think it’s both. To survive, he made sure not to cause trouble or speak out of turn, listening to and pleasing the authoritative figures in his life instead.

After Diluc was out of the picture and out of the KoF, Kaeya was given a completely different role. He was expected to lead now, his previous persona would not suffice in an environment like this. He had to be respected, and in order to gain the respect of his new subordinates, he had to change. He became louder and more visible, he had to learn how to stand his ground. This isn’t only reflected in his personality, but also his appearance. A big silhouette that exudes status with the gold accents and fur coat; it demands attention and communicates confidence to outsiders.

Kaeya as we know him has a very big personality. It’s hard to definitively say whether he enjoys the attention he gets from outsiders. Where does the act stop and his true self begin?

In his hangout, we can see him scurrying away with the traveler once he starts getting approached and praised for his on-stage performance in Port Ormos (3).

From the way he treats the interactions, it seems that he can humor these interactions when needed, but does not particularly enjoy them. There seems to be a dichotomy between the way he presents himself and how wishes other people to perceive him, and his true desires. I don’t think this means that he completely dislikes the way he presents himself. After having played this part for so long, it would make sense that at least part of it melds into his true self, but it does imply that his change post-fight isn’t 100% a case of ‘flourishing into his true self’ as his Vision story might suggest.

On that note, the attention Kaeya seems to get from bystanders seems to be something he does not seem /entirely/ comfortable with. Besides the fan interactions in Port Ormos, Kaeya also mentions in his hangout that he got approached by a group of mercenaries to dance (4).

The subtext suggests they were flirting with him, and whilst it is possible Kaeya genuinely did not realize this, I don’t believe someone like him would be oblivious to the implications of the interaction. He doesn’t name for what it was, plays it off lightly, and moves on. 

(To be fair, you can also take him at his word for this interaction. It really depends on how much you want to believe him. But also, my mans is not smiling in these?? At all??)

Now this goes into headcanon territory but I believe Kaeya is very aware of how people look at him. He’s been described to be eye-catching in his character story 5 (5), good-looking by multiple NPCs, even the traveler calls him handsome (6).

Point is: Kaeya looks good! He knows it, but as we’ve established before, he does not always like it. Despite his own discomfort, he still believes he can use this to his advantage. Because as we know, for him, the ends justify the means (7).

Perhaps he plays up his charm a little because he knows what it will get him, or because people will underestimate his true nature if he keeps it up. 

So for my personal interpretation: he’s ‘flirty’, not because he likes it, but because it helps him get things done. The reactions he gets out of it may or may not disgust him a little, but his sense of self-worth is not enough to stop him from using these tactics to get ahead.

Lastly, I would like to discuss how Kaeya, despite everything that has happened to him, does not outwardly express any of his anger frequently. At least, not in an obvious sense. To keep up appearances and to maintain his image, he never bursts out in anger, shouts, or yells. He is always hyperaware of how other people view him, and being angry is simply not appropriate. He remains composed in the presence of others even if he might want to shout or be angry. 

In short, the performative aspects of Kaeya’s character reflect a very specific part of the female experience to me. Always keeping in check with what other people’s expectations are, not wanting to take up too much space when he was younger but having to learn how to take up more space to gain other people’s respect when he got older, dealing with unwanted attention but not voicing complaints and dismissing them to not make a big deal out of it; these are all parts of it. 

All of this is super self-indulgent so don’t take it too seriously~ Just wanted to justify why I think he gets to sit with the girls :D

References (yes, I'm extra):

Kaeya Hangout: Taste of Home https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Taste_of_Home 

Kaeya’s Vision Story https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Kaeya/Lore 

Kaeya Hangout: All the World’s a Stage https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/All_the_World%27s_a_Stage#Must_It_Be_So? 

Kaeya Hangout: Poems Dedicated to the Wind https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Poems_Dedicated_to_the_Wind 

Kaeya Character Story 5 https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Kaeya/Lore 

Archon Quest: Prologue: When the Wind Dies Down https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/When_the_Wind_Dies_Down 

Kaeya Character Story 2 https://genshin-impact.fandom.com/wiki/Kaeya/Lore 

[my-mt-heart]

What Makes Caryl's Romance Organic

By organic, I mean it's a natural path for Daryl and Carol to take as characters and their explicit canon is fully supported by the writing in the flagship show.

The seeds have been planted. We got to see the genesis of their bond when Daryl made it his mission to find Carol's lost little girl, and we watched it grow in "real time" as the overarching story progressed. We saw intentional, suggestive beats like Daryl massaging Carol's shoulder on top of the bus, Carol openly flirting as she tried to reclaim her sexuality after Ed, Daryl's jealousy of "the king," the visual and emotional parallels between Carol and Leah, Carol's dream of being married to Daryl, and I could go on.

By watching their interactions with each other over the course of 11 seasons and perhaps also differentiating them from their interactions with other characters, it's easy to assert that these two broken souls relied on each other not just for survival in the ZA, but for emotional fulfillment. Every character wants something, and in this case we were shown time and time again how much Daryl and Carol desire each other, though not just in a superficial way. After surviving abuse and loss and tragedy, they've come to represent each other's light at the end of the tunnel.

Daryl: What do you want?

Carol: A man of honor.

Judith to Daryl [looking at Carol]: You deserve a happy ending too.

Our investment deepened as the relationship deepened, and we could anticipate where it was eventually going to lead if we kept following along, reading the subtext and analyzing the symbols (the Cherokee rose, the jasper stone, the double capper). The longer that anticipation builds, the more essential the payoff becomes.

In contrast, when we have no expectations for a pairing and they go canon "out of the blue," it's quite possible the purpose of it was shock value. Not that the audience can't still get invested, but as we say in the screenwriting world, it hasn't been earned. Instead of building up to a moment of relief and joy (Finally! I knew it!), it often requires a lot of backfilling, finding moments between the two characters that could be used to rationalize the writers' choice and create the illusion that it was always planned when it wasn't. People will either buy it or they won't.

One thing no writer can control is acting chemistry, and McReedus? They've got it. A lot of it. Any good writer would lean into that, not force them to pull back because when they do that and they're undermining the story that's already being told, the audience will feel cheated. Hence, why so many people hated Carol's line "it'll be good for us [to go our separate ways]" in the finale.

The Book of Carol is the opportunity for AMC and co. to deliver on their "promise" to Caryl fans by giving them explicit, undeniable, canon. Again, when you make them wait over a decade, that Finally! moment has to be well worth it.

[evesaintyves]

Ok long annoying question incoming: Whenever I read your remadora stories im always interested in how you portray lupin with his relationship with sex. I always got the feel that werewolves were looked as sort of sexual predators in the wizarding world. I mean the way greyback is written was very creepy, “specializing in children”, wanting to eat hermione because of her “soft skin”, yikes.

Because of that reputation do you think lupin views himself as a sexual predator when he’s feeling just basic lust? Not even specific to tonks, like do you think he has trouble with his feelings of attraction to anyone. How do you think puberty was like for him? How does gender play into this, does he feel like he’s objectifying whatever person he’s attracted to? Would he even have sex before a relationship like tonks? Is he jealous of Sirius and James because they can be more free with their sexuality? Lol so many questions sorry

hi anon! not annoying at all, thanks for sending an ask! i'm always happy to get them, even if i'm not great about answering them in a timely manner (or at all)

tbh i'm not really a meta-writer and i don't usually fw headcanons too much outside the context of developing a story - but here are some thoughts based on the characterization choices i've made in my work. they are entirely speculative; canon has very little to say about how Remus Lupin uses his dick.

TW for sex, violence, sexual violence, wizard porn, endnotes, Moonchaser*, stuff i wrote at 4 am

so to start there are a couple of much better metas out there by other authors that you might like:

@bikelock28 has a really good meta on werewolves as sexual predators that covers this really well and explores lupin's struggle with it.

@ashesandhackles also has a great meta on the psychology of lupin's lycanthropy/marginalization called the gentleman monster

so yeah, i think you're dead on about the sexual subtext of greyback. in canon we first see people disgusted by and afraid of werewolves¹ and eventually we find out about greyback's notoriety as a child predator². Lupin obviously expresses occasional self-loathing in canon, and my take on that is that he's internalized some of the responses he gets from people aware of his status and some generally-held prejudices against werewolves—he pushes back against Harry's assertion that he's a normal person with a problem³, he refers to himself as "dangerous⁴**," he speaks of himself as having "tried to live amongst wizards⁵," which to me implies that he thinks of other wizards not as peers but as betters who tolerate him. i think his carefully neutral, people-pleasing, equivocating tendencies are his attempt to build a self around the rejection of whatever people might believe about werewolves.

do you think Lupin views himself asa predator when he's feeling basic lust?

my feeling is that, because of all these ideas he's absorbed about what werewolves are like, Lupin might pathologize and abhor some of his own thoughts & behaviors, maybe even normal/typical ones, and have a difficult relationship with urge, impulse, and desire.

How does gender play into this?

he's a boomer who hangs out with a bunch of bros, he takes a kind of patronizing attitude with Tonks in their confrontation in the hospital wing⁶, and he was written by an author who went on to make gender essentialism her whole entire deal as a person, so i feel like he's probably at least a little sexist. i think, just because it's part of the sexist background radiation we all receive, he probably understands women as vulnerable and passive-receptive in heterosexual relationships - so my thought is that he probably has extra hangups about hooking up with women. i think he'd probably have hangups about any sex where the power dynamic favored him, and there are a lot of things about penetration, exchange of fluids, etc. that seem like they might trigger any internalized ideas about himself as violent, sexually rapacious, diseased, etc.

Would he even have sex before a relationship like Tonks?

I don't particularly headcanon Lupin as lifelong-celibate before Tonks, but I get why some people do and it's fine. My personal instinct is that if he experiences sexual desire, he probably finds an outlet for it one way or another***. I think one of Lupin's specific hangups with Tonks is that she's asking for a relationship, she's asking to love him and for some kind of commitment on his part - I think he'd struggle with those more than he might struggle with casual sex. Not just because of the risks to which they'd expose Tonks; some of Lupin's behavior in canon is pretty self-serving - specifically, self-protective against conflict or rejection⁷ - and I think being in any kind of serious relationship might expose him to an uncomfortable kind of vulnerability. personally, i think that's probably a key factor in his apparent misery in the early days of his marriage and his eventual ditching of Tonks—yes, he was trying to protect her, but my suspicion is that he was trying to protect himself too: from the permanent commitments of family after a life spent moving between places and jobs and societies, from the guilt of producing a werewolf kid, and from all the risks of pain and failure that a relationship would bring.

What would puberty be like for him?

Lupin's relationship with his body seems like it must have been pretty fucked up at baseline so starting to grow face & body hair and get physically bigger (and thus harder to control during full moons at home) was probably kind of rough. early sexual feelings and the realization that sexual relationships are going to be difficult and fraught at best for him probably sucked too

Is he jealous of Sirius and James?

so there's that line in the extracanonical Lupin bio where he says of Sirius "he always got the women." i really hate the incelness of this line, but if you want to consider it canon, then sure. tbh i think most of the Pottermore stuff is kind of trash

there's no interaction i'm aware of between Lupin & Sirius in book-canon that would give me the impression that he's jealous, and Lupin always seems to warmly & fondly remember James so... i think it'd be fine if a writer wanted to try and build a case for this dynamic between Lupin and his friends, but it doesn't resonate with me specifically. honestly, I think it'd be easier to make the case that he had a little crush on James than that he was jealous.

if you've read this far, hi, and also i just wanted to mention that i have a fic coming out in July that explores some of Lupin's struggle with—and terror of—his sexuality so stay tuned if you're into that

*god i fucking hate ship names how about "Rames" "Jemus" "Pupin"

** obviously, a werewolf is dangerous at the full moon and it makes sense to be afraid of encountering one. as a reason not to be in a romantic relationship, though, it suggests to me that Lupin thinks of himself as violent/untrustworthy/impure in a general sense

*** ok new headcanon Lupin is one of those guys with an absolutely massive and meticulously-organized porn collection. i bet wizards could make a pretty dope fleshlight. like remember that care of magical creatures book that's just like a weird hairy animal mouth? okay i'll stop

¹ PoA, pp. 336-337

² HBP, pp. 334-335

³ HBP, p. 335

⁴ HBP, p. 615

⁵ HBP, p. 333

⁶ HBP, p. 615

⁷ PoA, pp. 345-346; OoTP, pp. 719, 721

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Yes,I'm gonna talk about THE KISS 💜🌈

I'm still jumping around my home and seeing all the Kokonui edits I can find, 24h later and the hype doesn't go away.

So I wanna talk about why seeing this kiss animated (specially in such a beautiful way, really, thanks Liden Films), was so important for me.

I started to watch anime when I was little and, besides Dragon Ball, Sakura and Sailormoon were the first animes that really catch my attention.

Sakura specially will always have a place in my heart 💜

(and yes, I know CLAMP had a lot of dark shit going on on their mangas, but when I was a kid, I only saw the queerness and that made me happy)

I was around eight/nine years old, it was the end of the 90s and the queer representation in occident was... Terrible. It didn't almost exist and was full of "kill your gays" and queerbating.

Suddenly, I was watching a show were it was okay for a girl like Tomoyo being in love with her best friend, were nobody had any problem with Xioran being oppenly bisexual (he likes Yukito before Sakura), were Toya and Yukito became my first ship ever. I used to scream to the tv with their scenes, saying things like "okay, gave Yukito your magic, but say that you love him Toya! Focus! Kiss!"

Then, Sailormoon had Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus that were girlfriends. More than one character with genderfuckery. The three Sailor Stars that were genderfluid in a legendary level.

Ranma was also there. Non-binary dream for me, thanks Ranma 💜

I'm saying that, for a queer kid in the 90s, the level of genderfuckery that anime had made me felt seen. Made me felt like I wasn't that weird for liking the girls in my class, for not feeling like a boy or a girl (even if it took me decades to realize why). This characters, this representations, made me felt less alone. Made me think for the first time in my life, that there was other people like me, that being straight and follow gender roles wasn't the only choice out there.

Edit, because I forgot to mention Utena. The girl that refuses to adapt to gender roles and ends ups becoming her own prince and saving her girlfriend from the abusive brother. Utena was also mythical for me.

Of course, not everything was wholesome in the way of portraying queer representation in anime and manga, I'm not saying that.

So that was what got me into anime, what made me start buying manga with my small allowance.

A few years later, I discovered fanfiction.net, yaoi and BL. I found a place on the internet full of people shipping characters that were like me. A place were it was safe being queer. I also started getting into shonen, were the queerness wasn't as magical as in shoujo, but thanks mostly to the fandom, it was still there. I could ship them even if it wasn't canon, because most of this characters never had a romantic interest, so... Who said they were straight? (Obviously, even if they were in canon, we could ship them anyway)

And this is what I'm trying to say. More than twenty years later of seeing myself in a character like Tomoyo, of starting to ship gay couples in anime...

I COULD FINALLY SEE A GAY KISS BEING ANIMATED IN A SHONEN!!!

(I insist, in such a beautiful and perfect way)

So no matter what you think about this ship, about Koko and Inupi relationship, no matter if you like it or you hate it...

What happened yesterday was really important for a lot of people. Because having referents, can save queer people lives. Is that simple.

So thanks Liden Films, thanks Ken Wakui 💜

Of course, I also had a big hype when this scene happened in the manga and Wakui gave us so much gay subtext (not so subtle most of the time), that I could make a whole post about queerness in Tokyo Revengers. But let's be honest, there is a lot of only anime watchers out there. Or a lot of people that, like me, discovered manga thanks to anime.

[harlivycentral]

Also can I just say I looooove Howard's Harley Quinn run so much 😭 From the beginning, Howard's run has brought back elements of Harley's character that I love and had missed. I loved the way her first issue leaned into the looney-tunes-esque element of Harley, the way we saw her pull out her big hammer again, the way Bud & Lou were back, the way it at once illustrated her tendency toward criminal mischief and her PhD credentials, etc. This most recent issue (#38) feels like it just cements everything I've loved about Howard's run, which is that she has obvious respect and love for all the iterations of Harley that came before and has used them to create a Harley run that is distinctly her own at the same time. Seeing the panel with all of her friends from various runs gathered for her birthday party made me so emotional--it really felt like not only a fun way to honor the history of the character but also to affirm how many people (in-universe and in her readership) love her!

I loved how Howard brought back Carmen & Bonny, mentioned their "sleepover days," and made them explicitly lesbian. Since the beginning, Harley's had this tongue-in-cheek gay undertone to her character, and revisiting a story line from her first solo run that felt soooo gay while being so not felt like a fun way to nod to that history; making Carmen & Bonny explicitly lesbian felt like a celebration of the fact that we don't have to dwell in subtext for Harley anymore!

I've really loved the way Harley & Ivy have been written in Howard's run. Obviously I think the breakup storyline in Phillips' run was probably more editorial than her own choice, but it's been so satisfying to finally settle into Ivy & Harley FINALLY being a canonical couple AND not instantly broken up. I've really enjoyed the way Howard has explored their relationship and at once explored the way Harley's past with Joker still impacts her while also showing that it doesn't define her. (As a side note, I think a lot of the Harlivy content in the Harley: Black & White & Redder series did an amazing job of exploring that too <3)

I really liked the conversation Ivy & Harley had about the whole concept of "hero vs villain" not making sense to them. I think that's been a pretty clear stance of Howard's since the start of her run, but it's nice to see her have FUN with the character, and I'm excited to see Harley hopefully unleash a bit in the next few issues. It's been fun to have her mallet and hyenas back, and now to have the return of her iconic original costume! Again, I feel like Howard has a real sense of balance in writing this plotline: it's clear that we're not going back to the same emotional place that Harley was in when she first went around in her jester suit with a big mallet and a couple of hyenas, and I'm sure we'll see her out of the suit/continuing to explore teaching as well/etc. I like that we get PARTS of Kessel & Doddson's run mixed in with others. I like that Howard also brought Kevin back in a significant role for the conclusion of this last arc, and I was so right to make this post honestly at the beginning of her run--I think she has expanded on the emotional kernels in Palmiotti & Conner's run.

Idk, Harley has just meant a lot to me personally, and I remember reading her comics not so long ago when it felt like so much of what I loved about her had to remain subtext, or was spread out disparately over so many different runs. I just love love love to see it all being so loving solidified and explored in this run! And it's FUN to read! And the art is pretty! I honestly got emotional reading issues 37 & 38 because Harley feels very much like a Real Person to me in a way that few other fictional characters do, and these past few issues have really honored all of that growth and complexity that used to feel more weaved together by fans! Love love love Harley and also y'all xoxo

[chirpsythismorning]

Has anyone theorized why the Duffers chose to focus on Ten (10) specifically at the start of season 4?

Because looking back, how he was framed at the beginning of s4, compared to the end, makes it obvious he was a red herring.

In 4x01, we get our first (less detailed) recount of the massacre at Hawkins Lab, with the focus singling out Brenner and Ten. While I think there could definitely be important ideas hidden in the subtext during those scenes between them, Ten doesn't seem to hold any importance to the overall story, as his own character, beyond what's given to us in that premiere.

Because in 4x07, when we get a more detailed recount of the massacre, we're now viewing this moment from El's perspective at that same time Brenner and Ten first come into view. But it's at this moment the audience realizes that it was never about Ten.

By the end that same episode, Ten is merely canon fodder. He was given almost all of our focus, and then he was gone. And that was it. But I think that's because it's obvious he was never meant to be important to the overall story in the first place.

Ten was placed at the start of the story, not only as a distraction, but to also act as usable early promo footage.

No, but seriously. It's quite common for shows to post the first 10 or so minutes on YouTube before the actual premiere of a new season. In fact, Stranger Things has done this with the first 8 minutes of s1 & 4.

Planning for marketing and advertising is so fucking essential to Stranger Things roll-out, they would've probably wrote and filmed those scenes, knowing that it could, and very likely would, be used early-on in the promotion circuit (because later scenes in the season are usually filled with spoilers), which meant whatever they focused on couldn't give too much away. If anything it needed to make you think you were getting a lot in the foreground, when in reality the true answers were tiptoeing in the background.

What I think makes the choice to focus on Ten at the start of the season so interesting though, is that he's the number right before Eleven.

Our focus, right from the jump, is specifically on the number that has proximity to Eleven...

And so why do that? Why focus on Ten and then drop him into obscurity?

Maybe to distract us from the fact that the number we should've really been focusing on also has similar proximity to Eleven (literally and figuratively and numerically)... Mayhaps Twelve??

I promise you guys, I was minding my business, doing research for a completely different post, when I noticed a detail that expanded on my curiosity in regards to Ten.

Now, I'm not the kind of byler that tries to add up a bunch of numbers and say that it means something, and that's honestly mostly because I suck at math (and so no hate to the bylers that do that bc that's more of a me problem). And yet despite that, I really don't think this is even reaching. I think they made the choice to focus on the numbers they did and the way that they did, for a reason.

Although Ten didn't give us much of a purpose beyond s4 misleading opener vibes, he still started off the season with a fleeting, but still larger focus than the rest of the numbers besides El.

And so besides Ten and Eleven, which other number played a big role this season?

Two.

Though that's not to say Two operates as a red herring. I would say he actually plays a substantial role the entire season. He has a beginning, middle and end to his arc that stretches the entire season and feels layered in ways that make it clear he was more than just a blip to keep us busy.

And so, for the first episode of s4, these specific numbers were credited first before the rest, as they apparently played the biggest roles. And so, I just find it kind of ironic that:

Do you see it?

Okay, if you're still stuck I'll help you out:

The Duffers have admitted since s4 premiered that a lot of the surprises/answers they're saving for the end of the show, can likely be found within the show itself. This is because, a lot of the choices made, especially in season 4's case, were with the end in mind. And so details that maybe even seemed meaningless or ended up going nowhere, probably had a purpose that went beyond what we assumed when we were first confronted with those ideas. And that was probably the intention. Otherwise the surprise element wouldn't even be there.

Although it might seem like nothing is here, and maybe there isn't. Maybe I am reaching.

I still can't help but feel like these Hawkins lab scenes specifically hold the truth to what is going to play out in season 5.

Because the brothers have also admitted s5 is going to delve into the origins of Hawkins Lab and how Brenner's program went from involving Henry, to evolving and including multiple kids...

Honestly that alone should be enough of an admission that the s4 lab scenes probably hold more answers than we realize. All those choices they made, were made with the truth about Hawkins Lab in the back of their mind.

And so if they're going to make those revelations about the lab in the final season, and s5 is apparently going to also spend a lot of time telling us about Will's disappearance, whatever this all entails has to fit nicely with those scenes of the lab in s4. Because those scenes were extremely recent and also presumably written and talked about beside their outline for s5, meaning that they had every chance to hide the answers in the details... which they've literally admitted to doing by saying the answers to the ending are hidden in the show already... why am I even rambling about this in long form. This isn't a reach if you're actually considering what is in front of us.

That's not to say that we have the full picture yet to comfortably support Twelvegate as a full blown guaranteed theory. Because even though the evidence is astounding, there's still so much missing.

I think the imagery of time/clocks over the seasons being built up, going into the end of the show, and still without really delving into the time/clocks aspect fully, is maybe why I'm so open minded to how they could go about Twelvegate.

What we know about the past regarding Will's childhood along with what happened to Will when he went missing, for all we know might not even be the full truth. And there is some evidence that the facts surrounding Will's disappearance were changed between season 1 and season 2 and so... why was that? Back then fans thought it was just a copy/paste error, but now within the context of twelvegate... it's quite fascinating...

There's also theories Will himself created the upside down? And so, if that were to be the case, in any capacity, I imagine that his role in everything is a lot bigger than we imagine. Like that would make him equally as well known at Hawkins Lab as El.

It's not like we've gotten any imagery like that before, with Will being the center of interest at Hawkins Lab... Oh wait--

It's not like Will has ever been 'the boy who lived' level well known or anything...

But maybe that's because he's literally 'THE BOY WHO CAME BACK TO LIFE' well known!!

WILL BYERS IS THE CHOSEN ONE? WILL BYERS HOLDS THE ANSWERS TO EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN OVERLOOKING AND MISSING FROM THE BEGINNING???

Then there's the fact that Will himself could play a role in how time is going to impact the last season and presumably our perception of the past itself, specifically in relation to Will and his time at Hawkins Lab (possibly).

Lots of fans predict time travel will be involved in some capacity. Though there is a lot of pushback both in the byler fandom and even in the ga at the possibility of this, because I think a lot of people associate time travel in storytelling with entire story resets and so they're scared that time will just start over and everything that occurred over the seasons would become meaningless. And I guess I could see why that would be disappointing.

However, even if time travel plays a role, and I do think it likely will in some way because the foreshadowing is too extensive to not have been intentional, that doesn't mean I think they'll do it in the most conventional or predictable way possible. I think it would have to be way more complex than what most people expect, and it probably wouldn't erase everything they've been through, assuming what they've been through is even the full truth to begin with...

[pippin-katz]

Ygraine’s Sigil

Why did Arthur give it to Merlin?

Alright, we all know about the medieval history thing that this is essentially a proposal, but I think even without that subtext, there’s something really interesting about his choice.

Let’s break this down real quick:

This is a deleted scene from season 4, episode 2, “The Darkest Hour: Part 2”. It has dialogue from the scene right before Merlin saves Arthur from the Dorocha:

This is important because of the implications of the timeline. In the canon version, we can assume he doesn’t give the sigil to anyone, because the conversation in the deleted scene could never have happened in the timeline we’re given.

Why does that matter?

I saw a very sweet post that maybe one of the reasons why Arthur gave it to Merlin was because he wanted part of his mother to stay in the living world rather than come with him through the veil. He wanted her to live on somehow.

I totally love that, and that’s super sweet, so I have no problems taking that as canon!

Though for this post, let’s think about that:

If that’s the only reason why he wanted the sigil to stay behind, he could give it to anyone; specifically, Leon. From what the show implies, Leon is older than Arthur and has been a close friend to him for his whole life. There’s a small possibility that Leon even knew Ygraine, or met her before her death. Elyan would’ve made sense too because he could ask him to give it to his sister.

He doesn’t give it to anyone in the canon version though, so it’s not just “I want this to remain here”. They could’ve easily used one of the canon scenes while Merlin was gone to give it to one of the knights, or even added it more casually into the episode.

But instead, they filmed the scene with Arthur and Merlin, and chose that as the scene. The scene that has the lines of a canon conversation where they actually have an emotional connection. They have this conversation while being the only two still awake and softly talking, the way they frame the shot of Arthur handing it to Merlin, the way Merlin tries to refuse it at first because it’s clearly important, Arthur insisting without even explaining why, and so on.

That’s the scene they chose for Arthur to leave the sigil with someone. So I ask again: why did Arthur give the sigil to Merlin?

I think we all know why; of course, this was cut, much like a lot of other one-on-one interactions between them.

Good god it’s like they were incapable of giving us a sincere conversation between them that was wasn’t dripping with subtext.

[autisticgirliesbracket]

What makes Baru Cormorant from The Masquerade Series the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

- Bracket art created by @anthyiess, used with permission. Baru-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a digital drawing of Baru holding a masquerade half-mask away from her own face. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"her canon low empathy swag whenever she tries 2 flirt she will just explain trade economics untill the woman shes talking to becomes enamoured with her whenever she sees a flock of birds she needs 2 count em (i also do this)"

"low empathy girl swag my favorite repressed lesbian accountant"

"For context, Baru Cormorant is the protagonist of a dark fantasy series about resistance to a vast trade empire. Baru's homeland was colonized by said empire, and Baru decides to join the empire in order to gain enough power within it to free her home. She ends up becoming an imperial accountant and is sent to a remote colony to suppress a brewing rebellion. As the series progresses, Baru becomes more deeply involved with both action against the empire and the empire itself, and has to make a lot of difficult choices. Baru is the most compassionate and authentic depiction of an autistic character who is "low empathy" and struggles to understand/relate to other people's emotions I've ever encountered in fiction. She is very blunt and logic-driven. She tends to view things through the lens of topics she already has a lot of understanding and enthusiasm for (i.e., math and economics) and has trouble with things that don't fit that mold. For example, at one point she begins to realize that other people also have complex inner lives (her low empathy swag!!!) and could only understand/convey this concept by comparing it to hashing (a one-way function, where a specific input will always result in the same output, but that output is not exclusive and may be shared with other inputs. So you can understand that any person you see was shaped by particular experiences or "input", but you can't always tell what those experiences were just by looking at the "output"). Baru struggles with social interactions (outside of the context of power struggle mind games), frequently missing "obvious" subtext in ordinary conversations. Baru can come off as "emotionless" but is shown to feel very deeply, particularly being motivated by deep love and grief throughout the series. She infodumps to people for fun and to express affection; for example at one point she decided to start courting someone and went about that by telling her a bunch of fun facts. There's also at least one scene where she gets overwhelmed and bites herself to calm down, which is a really common stim that I'd never seen depicted in fiction before! Due to the series' historic-inspired fantasy setting, terminology differs from the real world, and words like "autistic" are never used in the series. However, Baru is described as a "savant" by her imperial mentor, a term that in the real world has heavy association with autism. In summary, Baru is so thoroughly autistic-coded that I believe that she was intentionally meant to be read as such and personally count her as "canon rep". Particularly, Baru displays many common autistic traits that are rarely portrayed sympathetically in fiction, much less for characters who are also explicitly written as women of color. Her autistic swag is so massive, reading the books made me realize I'm autistic. I love her. Also she's canon lesbian. Thank you for your time."

"Baru’s canonical biggest character flaw is forgetting that other people also have thoughts feelings and agendas just like she does and her special interest is finance i love my low empathy bestie <3"

"Hiiii she is the most autistic narrator of all time. I don’t have the time to pull text but just trust me on this. Low empathy swag she’s just like me for real the way she connects with other people her special interests in birds and stars the way her mind works she gets me so well. Autistic swag. Also she’s pulled like 6 bad bitches with it"

"Had to have it explained to her that other people have inner lives and motivations just like she does one time. Low empathy queen"

"DIversity win! Your math savant with bad people skills is a lesbian!" End ID.]

[telelsie]

GAY SPOCK REAL OR FAKE PLEASE READ

i haven’t been an active tumblr user in about 3 years but SNW and the whole gay spock debate has been occupying enough space in my mind that i felt the need to inflict my opinion onto you all.

as a spirker myself, i’m not at all denying that the het romance arcs SNW is pushing for jim and spock are by no means my favorite. i dearly dearly wish that we would’ve gotten at least SOME queercoding from SNW this season, but i’m also not as disappointed as some of you are with the choices the SNW team has made for spock’s character. i’ve seen quite a few people begging for gay spock (bless u all) and canon spirk from SNW, which is unquestionably the ideal outcome for the series — and given the way both the writers and actors have reacted to and welcomed fan opinions and questions about where the jim/spock dynamic is heading, i don’t think it’s unreasonable at all for us to be optimistic about the show’s direction. if sybok can be in a queer relationship, then we’ve already gone miles past existing TOS canon in terms of queer rep.

admittedly, SNW has issues (ortegas show us ur girlfriend and the lesbian flag hanging in ur quarters!!! we all know it’s there!!), but i struggle to believe that the het romance arcs for jim and spock were written with the intention of convincing fans to ~let go of spirk~ or anything along those lines. in fact, i think the biggest issue that trek fans are having with SNW is wanting it to deliver on all the subtext and queercoding that existed in TOS on an implicit level explicitly and immediately. SNW is a prequel. it’s whole job is to set up and develop the relationships that appear in TOS; and it does an amazing job of this for the most part, especially in giving the female characters like una, christine, and t’pring traits other than crippling gene roddenberry syndrome. what i’m trying to say is that the SNW writers are doing a good job. yes, even (ESPECIALLY) with spock.

i get why people are protective of his character, i am too, but i don’t understand the lack of faith and, honestly, lack of viewing comprehension, that i’m seeing from self proclaimed spock fans. if you were expecting SNW to give us fully formed Nimoy-Spock within the first two seasons, then i’m sorry, but you’re a little bit of an idiot. a lot of you both don’t understand the purpose of the show (in general and in relation to spock’s development) and don’t value the importance of long form storytelling. in fact, in my ideal world, spirk wouldn’t even be together by the end of SNW. part of the value of the k/s dynamic in TOS was spock’s internal struggle with his feelings for jim, a struggle that defines his character, actions, and life throughout TOS and the movies. this is a struggle that isn’t resolved until midway through the movies, and it wouldn’t be doing justice to the canon that created spirk to have their relationship evolve into romance before the events of TOS.

spirk is, and always will be a long form story which derives its value from the fact that it is a Very Very slow burn. for the relationship to retain its value without being watered down by reinterpretation, it needs to have all the turns, pitfalls, and pining that it did in the original canon. although it’s entirely possible that the SNW writers have no plans of canonizing spirk, it’s also entirely possible that their plans are just a little more long term than what most of the community wants right now. i would far prefer a spirk that begins in 3 seasons of steadily evolving homoerotic friendship than one that jumps the gun and results in an unsatisfying and underbaked depiction of a relationship that deserves to be done justice.

TLDR: be patient!!! stop acting like SNW is actively taking spirk out behind the shed and shooting it!! SNW is already the best new trek to come out of the revival — give it a little more time and slack to build momentum and solidify its position within paramount and the fan community and you’ll be happy you waited.

[starkjoy]

i think i'm just feeling sad if that's okay to express here? like, the writers in the past have just, made me feel so seen and safe as a queer person. they haven't been afraid to explore, like, the ways in which 'deviant'/queer sexuality is subject to ridicule/punishment within family systems and broader cultural systems. i'm thinking about logan's repeat homophobia towards kendall (especially), roman, greg's dad, etc. and then the writer's just built up such like, profound homoerotism between tom and greg and countless other characters. and it just sort of seemed to me like they were gearing up for a really meaningful display of solidarity with queer folk? like with logan out of the way, the frontrunner of the patriarchal oppression olympics, the queer ships could have so much freedom/bandwidth to just, i don't know, live?? and instead it feels like, all of the writers gave into comp. het overnight, and now we're just getting a bunch of conwilla and tomshiv and shiv/mattson scenes as their queer-coded ships fade to the background and sink to the bottom of the sea 😣

thank you for sending this in and trusting me to share your thoughts!

while i don't want to start any major discourse since the season isn't over yet, i don't blame any fans for feeling disappointed or duped by the change of pace thus far. i don’t think succession ever set out to be some bastion of queer representation, and i highly doubt every seemingly queer-coded moment was intentional. that being said, in tomgreg and roman's case, the writers definitively used gay subtext and homoeroticism as both a plot thread and character development tactic. now it seems they’ve put those choices on the back burner, allowing the queer dynamics to rest in ambiguity while straight pairings are given more explicit attention.

it’s disappointing particularly in tomgreg’s case given how vital their queer-coded subplot was to the culmination of last season’s finale. i disagree with takes that are like, "if you ever thought tomgreg was going anywhere, you're stupid or haven't been paying attention." yeah, tomgreg going "canon" was never a likelihood—but i think that's moreso a testament to the realities of queer representation rather than the nature of their relationship in the show itself. that’s a whole can of worms i don’t want to open quite yet without having seen the full season.

despite what the writers may have intended, intention does not invalidate interpretation. in fact, in a business where art is made to be consumed and the art’s financial success hinges on that consumption, interpretation is just as important. don’t let anyone tell you your reading of the show is wrong, and don’t ever feel "stupid" for hoping for more, even if that’s unlikely. if the writers are going to drop crumbs, they shouldn’t be surprised fans want to follow them to a full meal.

[shipcestuous]

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley (Episode 2)

@dragomer: We got canon future incest in The Coffin of Andy and Leyley now in chapter 2.

/

Anon #1: Hiiiii! Have you heard of the game The Coffin of Andy and Leyley? It’s mainly a horror game about cannibalism and murder, BUT it’s centered around two siblings who have a toxic, insanely codependent relationship. They’re really weird about each other but still so very much like your typical pair of bickering siblings. If you have heard of it, it’s FINALLY (yay!!) in early access right now, and part 2 (of 4) is released! Also, (SPOILERS? But it’s technically all over the Steam page reviews) canon content is 100% confirmed to contain explicit, undeniable incest in one of its routes! Like. It’s not subtext anymore. Not even sugarcoating this; it’s depicted pretty straightforwardly. And imo it’s arguably one of the “healthier”—for lack of a better word? bc I don’t think they’ll ever really be healthy by conventional standards—routes for the siblings’ relationship. If you haven’t played it yet, or haven’t checked out the newest installment, definitely recommend! The first ep was great but the second is FANTASTIC

/

Anon #2: Hi, this is the anon who was so enthusiastic about the Coffin of Andy and Leyley a couple of months ago. The full game is now in early access and can be bought on Steam, as the creator has decided (after a community poll) to release the rest of the game episodically. Currently episode 1 (which was the demo) and the shiny new episode 2 are available, with episodes 3A and 3B (different routes based on the choices made previously) being slated for release somewhere in 2024. So, we still have to wait sometime before the full game is finished. But for now, what does Episode 2 – ‘Graves’ offer us? (Warning: some spoilers) The answer is: pure gloriousness. It’s even better than I could've imagined in my wildest dreams. The relationship between Andrew and Ashley is just that amazing. Over the course of the (horrible, awful, and darkly hilarious) events comprising episode 2, we learn a lot more about our favourite pair of cannibalistic siblings. Their not-too-pleasant childhood is explored through multiple dreams and flashbacks, and for the first time we also have segments where we play as Andrew, providing the reader with direct access to what he actually thinks (and feels!) in regards to his beloved sister. And oh boy are his thoughts interesting! A lot of people who picked up on the interesting vibes between them in the first chapter assumed that they were mostly the result of Ashley’s obsessiveness, but this chapter contains an infinite amount of hints that Andrew is actually the one whose feelings towards his sibling are the most ‘romantic’ in the classic sense of the word. The way he physically touches her, the jealousness and protectiveness which was already present in the first chapter but whose full depth we actually see now for the first time, the fact that he regularly shares a bed with her to stave off his nightmares and panic attacks, but then it is revealed that he sometimes fakes them! In one flashback he asks his ex-girlfriend to tie her hair up, which would very obviously make her look even more like Ashley than she already does! At one point he literally thinks this about his sister: “You're struck with an odd urge to pull this broody bitch into your arms, and force her to stay until she smiles. But you push such an idea to the back of your mind. Where it may fester with all the other thoughts you wish you never had.” Ahhh, It’s almost too much, and that’s not even the best part yet of the episode! Depending on the choices you make, a situation can occur in which the siblings have a prophetic dream together (after falling asleep while holding hands! This game is just too much...). The contents of the dream? Well... I don’t want to spoil too much but let’s just say that a canonical incest route has now been 100% confirmed. I’ve already seen the artwork from that scene floating around on tumblr so people who have been following the TCOAAL tags might have seen it already. I could ramble about this game for hours on end but I feel like I’ve been writing and potentially spoiling way too much already. This game has completely taken over my brain and I just wanted to share that. I regret nothing!

/

This is such great news that you all bring! It does sound better than we had any reason to hope for. I will definitely have to play this, but I may wait until it is complete and officially released.

I'm so excited that the creator went full tilt on the incest, and that those of you who shipped it so hard after the demo are being rewarded with such glorious developments.

[ladyinrainbowglasses]

Lolita" as a facet read of the rise of fascism

Title may not make sense. Don't care.

Anyway, was drawn into a discussion about "Lolita" on Facebook, when an old quote from TERF wizard surfaced. In this interview, she referred to "Lolita" as a love story.

Proud of what I wrote there, so copy-pasta:

"Lolita" IS a book with superlative literary merit. It has some of the most beautiful and elegant prose of any prose work in the Western literary canon.

Nabokov made a deliberate choice to write Humbert as articulate, verbally suave, persuasive, and downright charming *because the entire point is that people can justify anything to themselves and will attempt to justify their most unconscionable actions with obfuscation. Intelligent and/or sophisticated people are incredibly good at this obfuscation, to the point that they can charm you into agreeing with their truly monstrous actions.*

If you fall for Humbert Humbert, you will fall for a Bill Cosby. You will fall for a Jim Jones. You will fall for an Adolph Hitler. If rhetoric can persuade you that the blatantly evil and monstrous ISN'T actually bad, then you are normal, but weak.

The criticism IS that a major frailty of the human condition is allowing ourselves and others to tell us lies about our own moral rightness so we can sleep.

On a separate comment, assuring another person that Nabokov was NOT a pedo apologist:

"Lolita" is not an easy read, because the point is not that pedophilia is good - the subtext leaking around Humbert's interpretations of events are VERY clear on that point - it is because Humbert is so elegant and persuasive that an unaware reader will actually start to buy in to his logic.

The cautionary tale is inherently "Be careful who you listen to, no matter how persuasive or charming their rhetoric is. They can get you to agree to the greatest depravity if you are not careful."

The existence of "Lolita" porn and every single film ever made of the story shows that a lot of men in particular do not get the point, while a lot of women do not read it, because they assume it is yet another apologia for the sexualization of girl children.

Nabokov himself insisted that the cover NEVER sexualize Lo. His own instructions on the cover were "NO GIRLS!!!!"

He referred to her as his "poor little girl" and made it clear that 'Lolita' is Humbert's fantasy of the sexually tempting nymphet, while 'Lo', the actual little girl, is already a survivor of sexual molestation who takes the path of least resistance when her stepfather causes her mother's death and kidnaps her. Lo IS inappropriately sexual with adults, but as Humbert discovers the first time he rapes her, it is because someone else beat him to be the first to take sexual advantage of this child.

Edifying for anyone who has not worked with children - a common sign of child sexual abuse is a child who is inappropriately sexual, especially with adults. A person trained in spotting potential flags of an abused child will notice that Lo has a whole 4th of July worth of flags from the moment she appears on the page.

Though "Lolita" as one book on a list of books that people constantly misinterpret so that they can pretend the book supports their thoughts and actions would be fascinating. "1984" is the other one that leaps to mind.

So, how does that circle back to fascism?

We are not quite there yet.

First, I took a bong out to the back porch and listened to "The Books and Movie Guy" about the lack of stories that take place inside the rise of fascism. We, meaning English-speaking audiences, tend to prefer our WWII narrative: fascism is here, it is very clearly bad, and we few, we noble few, we band of brothers are here to ride for ruin and the world's ending. Now the evil fascist leader is dead and we are all covered in ticker tape and champagne and various bodily fluids, hurrah. And suddenly, No One was fascist *ANYMORE*. Enjoy your civilization, you fascist... well, not anymore ~uwu~ ... dragons.

That point is true.

My God, is it true.

It is really hard for us to see "It Can Happen Here" as a narrative, because such a huge part of the American psyche is wrapped up in the narrative of us as THE ELECT. The religious terrorists who formed our first real systems of laws had a religion that was based deeply in the reading of signs and symbols to determine if you were to be allowed into eternal paradise or condemned to eternal suffering. Eventually, it became too complicated to figure out what was and what was not a revelation from God as to whether you personally were one of THE ELECT. Instead, we got to the much simpler idea that if you were born into the community that had the TRUE WORD OF GOD, if you didn't leave, you were probably pretty solid. After all, if God didn't want you personally in heaven, why would he bother having you be born to the only group of people that were joining him in eternity?

This is a vast oversimplification, but gives a general idea as to how America the Divinely Inspired really took root over here.

Every country that has fallen to fascism, therefore, did so because they lacked some of the unique wonderful specialness inherent to Americans, who never, ever do anything bad ever. Especially not politically, my dear doctor.

Thesis established, whys supported, the next step in the conclusion for me was recommending the "Clone Wars" TV series. It takes the lackluster "We are fighting a war and there's like incremental stuff building up over time and something is bad and fascism now!?" that the prequel films deliver as stand alones, and fills in all the things that lead to the decline of republicanism and democracy and the rise of fascism. The allowing of institutions to grow hidebound and rules-lawyery. The impatience with a system that needs to consider all possible angles when there is an EXTANT EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW AND PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DYING WHILE YOU WINDBAGS ARE BLOVIATING. People feeling disenfranchised, silenced, shoved aside.

Filoni makes it work on an extra step, because the audience also gets to watch the decline of Anakin Skywalker into Darth Vader. How does a well-meaning kid, awkward, dorky, but sweet and kind-hearted (established way better in the show than the movie) get to the point where he is willing to slaughter children with his own hands - to murder his own pregnant wife in the support of a fascist regime who could not give less of a fuck about him personally.

THAT is where the disparity connects in my lovely ADHD brain.

If "Lolita" is fundamentally a novel about the use of rhetoric to allow oneself to excuse any depravity, then can it not also be read as cautionary to the rise of fascism?

Obviously, sexual violence against children does not need to get metaphorical. People who brutalize kids aren't thinking of their actions as symbolic of greater problems writ large, nor are the fascists and other planet rapers thinking of more intimate forms of violence as reflective of their own goals. Putting that out there.

But reading in this train of thought opens another line of thought into the insight of propaganda efforts in supporting demagoguery. The violence of fascism is the inherent violence of control. All control forcibly taken is traumatic violence and violation.

The mental gymnastics and linguistic cul-de-sacs Humbert Humbert deals in are all the forms of rhetoric of a classic fascist leader. She is so much stronger. She needs his protection because she is so much weaker. She must have enjoyed it, because he enjoyed it. It has to be solipsistic, because he has to believe he is justified in his actions - if Dolores is a real person - if she is Lo, not his idea of Lolita - then he has done an evil thing.

If we learned anything from Nuremberg, it is that people's minds will go through the most extraordinary pericombobulations to arrive at the idea that one's own actions are always justifiable, and therefore, if not always, at least mostly correct.

Does it really reflect a much broader trend, to read the point of view of a selfish, vain, deluded man using his own opinion of his own innate superiority as having interesting parallels to the rise of fascism?

I think I'll leave that up to Twitter.

[alloutofgoddesses]

PJO TV Thoughts

S1,E6

(There will be book mentions/spoilers)

Can’t lie to y’all im on my second week of this semester and already just so eepy

Okay the first line does tell you exactly what’s happening in this dream but I was so confused by it being Percy’s headmaster from Yancy

Anyway omg I swear you can see Luke in the reflection like it’s gonna be so obvious it’s not Clarisse on rewatches

WE GOT “Little Hero”

Cracker Barrel! What o would give to eat at a Restaurant rn

A SECOND SEAWEED BRAIN HAS HIT THE PERCABETH TOWERS

(I am aware others have made that joke)

Omg hi Luke

Good not being sus Luke

ARREST HER?!?! Percy wtf

Luke I’m positive you would know what Ares is like

OOP if Luke picks up on it IMMEDIATELY…

The episode is titled “A Zebra Takes Us To Vegas” AND WE INLY GET A SECOND OF A ZEBRA ON SCREEN?!?!

Anybody else see the Geia fashion billboard or just me

Way to be obvious about it

“I had a premonition that we fell into a rhythm/where the music don’t stop for life” I think that Levitating was chosen WITH INTENTION for these lyrics only

ODYSSEY MENTION

Graphic novels do count

ODYSSEUS MENTION

Oh besties… the lotus eaters have upgraded darlings

WISE GIRL WISE GIRL WEE WOO WEE WOO IT’S HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY CALM

The fact that they haven’t shown Grover eating garbage yet… cowards. COWARDS.

I do think that them knowing takes tension out of it but they think that it’s okay unless they eat something

CASTELLAN LORE ALREADY

A Saytr?? I’m saying that TV screen image is a sun so APOLLO MENTION

A gay satyr?!!! The subtext

Oh? I’m compelled certainly what kind of magic does the Lotus have to convince satyrs Pan is there

DREAM TALK

Like you can see extras wearing dated clothes but it’s just not the same

Also I’m waiting for others to find the di Angelos, I know I’m not gonna be able to find anything

(If they cut it out I will lose it)

Are the employees also under the spell? I would have to assume so

Uh oh Grover is forgetting

HE’S HERE

The way his face fell… I’m afraid LMM is eating as Hermes

BTW I saw someone say LMM was a bad choice as Hermes because canonically Hermes has the most children and they don’t think LMM is sexy enough for that… girlie do you not remember what happened when Hamilton came out be SO FOR REAL

At first I thought I wouldn’t be able to seperate actor from character but he’s doing such a good job that’s Hermes I’m sorry (no I’m not)

ORPHEUS MENTION (I’ve helped others [get into the Underworld] before)

Are the fields Italy? Once again folks I’m not gonna be able to find it so I’m reaching out to

Someone looks back I’m guessing

Oh babey the lore the tension

HEY WHAT WAS THAT

My guess is something to do with Gabe or as one brilliant Twitter user said, Percy’s first time at boarding school

YEAH ANNABETH MOVE BABY YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT

(Also how the fuck can Hermes do that)

Sure buddy see you next season

“This was all just a waste of time. We don’t have time to waste.” Oh Annabeth I’m so sorry for what you’re about to learn

I love all the helmets and stuff really lets you know what’s going on

Oh noooooo oh boy oh buddy oh wow that hurt

Sorry he’s making Hermes feel so empathetic which is exactly how he is in the books. He’s good!

OOP

Were those the di Angelos? They were brunette and small (still reaching)

Oh so that’s why they mentioned days earlier I see

HIS KEYS?

Are George and Martha on there are they wondering what’s happening

CENTRAL AIR BABEY

Oh no Percy’s forgetting too

Just rip him out and leave besties

Oh geez they’re never leaving at this rate

Damn there’s that fatal flaw again Percy

RIP Grover playing a human hunter game I will never forget you

Annabeth it was good it really was but you’re right. He is the god of thieves.

Oh boy now we know why they let him drive though

Me when I first started learning how to drive standard

Just in case you forgot Percy is a New Yorker

Oh NO bestie got distracted looking at the princess (his words not mine though I agree) next to him

NO DON’T TURN OFF THE LIGHT I WON’T BE ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING

What did I just say. What is happening on screen

Oh boyyyyyy

He’s just three apples tall

Oh it’s so much worse underwater

SEAWEED HAIR

Wait… were AFTER the summer solstice? WHY

Exactly Percy you gotta finish it

YEEAHHHHHHH

Four?!?! What about ‘you will fail to save what matters most in the end?’ He better lose one I stg

Next ep trailer

Okay so who’s eye is in the credits what do we think

Crusty’s!

Desert and terrible forest?

Okay yeah he definitely loses one or uses one to trick someone or something he said said “you guys leave with my mom”

Oh wait what if he uses it on Crusty… Disney let Percy actually be violent

SWORD FIGHT NEXT EP? At least the beginning

HOLD FAST MOM OHHHHHHHHH OUCH

BONUS: Hermes in cat form

[kyrodo]

Marcus was a welcome sight after Ronnie & Friends shat on me and left. Marcus also played a role in my initial head canon with Ronnie. Being a horror fan, really liking pyramid head and silent hill, overall text style. Ronnie very much reminded me of Marcus in his younger years. Marcus was a college friend I met alongside Red, originally Sally.

He was crazy, he was funny, he was fun to be around, cussed freely and always had stories to tell from the darkest sides of the Internet to a loose life in highschool. It was really fun hanging out with him and he always had so much energy.

And that's partly why I thought I would get along with Ronnie just as well. But my approach to him in many ways was off. I kept throwing out all these random memories to get Ronnie up to speed on me, to catch him up to where Marcus is history wise without actually experiencing it. Even though that is not the way to approach someone old or new.

I kept wussing out, sometimes overdramatically because I didn't know if I was gonna lose Red or not. I was overreactive to any small reason I could think of, or I'd "social distance" because I felt like the subtext side of things was too toasty on his end.

But Pennsylvania was a dream future. My thought was that it'd be like how Orange County used to be for me and Red, where everybody we knew was within reach, mostly people we met at the Prancing Skiltaire. Except it'd be Ronnie's friends and I'd slowly get in touch with them the same way I did with my furry pack during college.

So a lot of my subtext respected that dream. It wasn't just Ronnie I wanted. I wanted to make friends with his to replace mine. The people I was leaving behind when I went to Utah. Utah had nothing for me. Balloontoes, Red's contact, was suicidal and had serious long-standing mental and emotional issues that put even Shadetail to shame. His friends and his wife were a very cheap replacement for my friends. We only got to see them twice, but my impressions were not good. Kitami had issues with remembering people, one of them joined us at peloton but was not a good worker, one of them was religious which I have a distaste for, and the wife was okay I guess. I didn't much care for Red having to babysit for them as they did have a baby over there, and babies remind me of my own mortality. I also don't like the smell or pretty much anything else to do with them caregiving wise. I don't find human babies cute at all. Kittens, puppies sure. A human baby is kinda disgusting. And given the sus art I'm into I don't want to associate myself any further than that for fear of what people would think of me.

I have a lot of reasons to avoid them. And back when I was about to turn 30, I wanted the least amount of reminders I was getting older as I could. In a sense my aversion to them is a childish denial of time. I wanted to be young forever. Because the happiest days of my life were in college. When I was discovering the furry fandom, going to cons being on the dance floor during cons etc. I had an extremely good time and a building social circle. And I had Red.

And I missed that so much that I wanted to recreate that time through Ronnie. Even if the way I was trying to do it was a poor attempt at best.

I never had to experience meeting someone like me growing up, and that is about as much as I can apologize for. I've never had to be around a has-been and keep them as a friend. I didn't necessarily make the effort to be all that appealing. I was always being an unhealthy looking mess. I made it clear before we met that something about me was off. Every choice I made including crushing on you was impulsive and a means of coping with where I got in life.

And I think we can both agree neither of us had to experience meeting each other at all. I have no business even being in orbit of you. Your life is way too different from mine. Having you see it firsthand why was a treat at first until I realize how openly hostile the act was towards me. My feelings used to allow me to overlook a lot of shit in temporary bursts. Since giving up completely was going to hurt more than accepting you were trying to hurt me. That's over now.

My bubble had to burst somehow. I sincerely wish you chose a better way but it made it easier to move on without looking back. Looking back used to be extremely addicting whether things were going well or not. Moreso than watching the news. But you gave me many reasons to stop.

Most of all the fact that you always took advantage of it to get to me. Guilt trip me into talking to you etc. The only way things would have truly ended is if one of us stopped completely. And I was volunteered.

The only way to stop a feedback loop is to stop giving feedback.

I did find my alternative to you. And he doesn't come with preemptive difficulty scaling. He doesn't come with your short temperment and he doesn't give up on me every chance he gets. He doesn't run away from any conversation that is remotely deep. He doesn't put me on stage for people to throw pebbles at. He's as much wrapped around my thumb as Red is and he loves Red too. What else is there to say.

You used to always be content in leaving me second guessing the meaning behind everything. I'd rather experience than guess, and I am experiencing. I am experiencing everything you pussyfooted out of being for me. And words in my world have meaning. Everything you thought wasn't even "possible" with me and Red, here we are.

Your constant riddles and off-putting reactions always made it feel like I have to prove something to you, no matter how I word anything and no matter what I'm talking about. Well I proved everything now. I proved it could have worked. I proved the only thing that made the equation fail was you. You ever want to try to debunk me again, you know where to fucking find me.

You see this huge disconnect between me irl and these angry posts? That's cause it's me and Red and you're not there. You get it yet? The Anger in me is solely devoted to you. Anger that you've done just about everything to deserve.

[k-s-morgan]

Hello!! I'm really curious why do you ship destiel but not wincest? From what i understand your blog arent they more to your preferences?(possessivenes,gaslighting,overprotective and sam was the character dean loved the most from starting to the end of the show.)

Hello! Thank you for such an interesting question)) While I tend to prefer darker ships, I can fall in love with any couple as long as they share a mutual obsession. This is usually my main requirement, in addition to smaller, more unique personal factors.

In Supernatural, Dean and Castiel share the obsession and they also share canonically romantic subtext and text. While Dean and Sam are definitely obsessive over each other too, it's not for the reasons that attract me personally. With them, it's more like, "I had no one else while I was growing up; I'm terrified of losing you because you are the only person I used to rely on, and without you, I'll be all alone." They were thrown together because of fate, they didn't have a choice. In other realities we see, Sam and Dean don't even get along all that well because they are pretty incompatible. Like in Dean's perfect world fantasy: he and Sam are brothers and they love each other, but their contact is limited to a few visits on holidays and phone calls. From the first episode, their dynamic is not just brotherly - Dean is presented as Sam's father, a person who raised him. They have some romantic subtext and mirroring, but their chemistry is purely familial: I never sensed a iota of romantic tension there. Posessiveness between them comes from the fear of being left alone, not because they actually crave to be the only people in each other's life.

You mentioned that Sam is the person Dean loved most from start to finish, and I both agree and disagree with it. If he had to choose between saving Sam or Castiel, I'm sure he would pick Sam, yes. Because to Dean, Sam is not just a little brother, he's his child, and Dean will always put him first no matter what. But losing Castiel would break him just as terribly - we've seen it on more than one occasion. Dean cannot live without him, and to me, it's stunning because Dean is a character who doesn't give his love freely. He loved his parents, he loved Bobby, but no one got under his skin the way Castiel did except for Sam, who was around forever because he's family. The fact that in so many ways, Castiel and Sam hold the same importance to Dean is huge, especially in parallel, because unlike Sam, Castiel is a fairly recent addition. Castiel killed numerous people, made terrible mistakes that Dean would have never forgiven if someone else did them, and he's not a safe choice - he's literally an angel who can leave any time, with Dean being unable to stop or find him. And yet he still loves him tremendously, to the point where he becomes suicidal without him.

Castiel is the only person who gives Dean what he needs: unconditional love that centers on him alone. Sam loves Dean, but as he said and showed numerous times, he wants to have other people, other priorities, too. Sam's heaven is full of strangers; Castiel's (fake) heaven was supposed to be full of Dean, and that's the biggest contrast between them. Castiel makes Dean a priority; Castiel singles him out and focuses on him with intensity that Dean has been craving all his life due to his self-worth issues. He knows he can count on Sam because Sam's family - Castiel is not, yet he still loves him with abandon, and Dean is helpless in the face of such intense devotion. With Sam, Dean is surviving; with Castiel, he has a chance to live and learn what being happy means. If Dean allowed himself to be selfish and to think of his own happiness, I think he would pick Castiel over Sam.

Interestingly, he did pick Castiel several times, both of which happened in Purgatory. Purgatory has been said to be "pure" - it's a place where Dean doesn't have to worry about obligations and expectations, and it's telling that Castiel becomes his priority there. They chose each other; Castiel quite literally defied the God's narrative out of his love for Dean, and I think it's both epic and beautiful.

Also, before Castiel, Dean didn't understand that people grow up and move on to build their families - Sam did, and this created a rift between them.

Dean: “You and me and Dad—I mean, I want us….I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again.”

This shows the state of Dean's mind and his views on love. Dean wants to stay with someone forever. He craves loving and being loved, he longs for constant contact. He wants to share his life with someone, and in his mind, it can only happen with Sam and John because they are the only people he knows how to love. It doesn't matter how flawed their family is, it's all Dean's got. Unconsciously, he's trying to assign the role of a life partner to Sam and John, and obviously, this could never work.

Like Sam says, "Dean, we *are* a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before."

The script adds: "Dean looks heartbroken."

But Sam is right. Like I mentioned, their co-dependency emerged because in their childhood, they had no one else. No friends, no meaningful connections, no long-term bonds. And as life has it, most family members drift apart with time: they still love each other, sure, but they pursue different interests and they start their own families. Dean doesn't get it. Sam is ready to open his heart to others, but Dean isn't - this is all he knows and he’s too scared and too emotionally closed off to learn.

And that's why observing him with Castiel later is so fascinating. There is suddenly an angel of the Lord who worships him, who structures his whole existence around him, who loves him and values him above everyone else. And finally, after all those years, Dean starts to understand it. He's still fiercely attached to the concept of family, but it begins to expand, and the more he clings to Castiel, the more he lets go of Sam, the healthier and more balanced their relationship becomes. Sam finally becomes a brother who has his own life but who'll always be there if needed; Castiel becomes someone who is going to be there always, period. And Dean can finally become truly happy. Cas helped Dean feel special and loved in a way he's never been before, and this very premise is something I really love.

TLDR: Sam makes Dean fight to stay alive because he needs to be there for his brother. Castiel makes him want to live and actually enjoy this life. Sam and Dean are abused children who clung to each other because they had no other choice; Castiel and Dean chose each other for themselves against all odds.

[charcubed]

Let's talk about Supernatural 15x07, "Last Call."

Or as I like to call it, "the episode that makes me go feral because it tells us so much about Dean's sexuality, character, and arc." 

YES others have written meta! YES I will talk about it myself for the satisfaction! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

This post was originally a thread on Twitter and I am crossposting it to my blog.

Alt image IDs are included in that linked Twitter thread!

Join me on this journey.

What's the context of this episode? Dean's been kind of down/depressed, feeling hopeless in the face of the idea that they have to defeat God (and not really working towards that goal much), and he's mid-divorce with Cas. He goes out on this solo case to try to clear his head.

And he ends up at Swayze's Bar. 

 Look, there are many things to be said about this. Dean loves Patrick Swayze. Arguably has a CRUSH on Swayze. It's very tied up in Dean pretending not to like "chick flicks" but he secretly does, which is queer coding. This was a Choice™️.

Speaking of Choices™️: professional actors made many here. Deliberately. 

 Dean is smacked on the ass by a woman and then Lee smacks him on the ass too. Dean and Lee CONSTANTLY have physical familiarity and fond eye contact. I will limit myself to 1 paragraph about this lest I list it all.

My point is that I just really need every person to digest and accept the fact that this is textually bi Dean. Not subtext; it's TEXT. 

Dean and Lee had a relationship. Their history is alluded to in touch and in words. They had an orgy together. Dean's bisexuality is not repressed.

It's also now canon that Dean tries to hide that he can sing well. Most people don't know (like Sam) but some do (Lee). Hence "Eye of the Tiger" callback.

And so: that's also the implication for his sexuality. Dean singing ON STAGE with bi lighting is him being ready to be Out.

They dedicated an entire half an ep at minimum to emphasizing he's bi... and to Dean having a conversation with someone he (initially) trusts about potentially having a break from hunting, and what that could mean.

LEE: You're chasing missing persons, huh? I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster... Bigfoot.

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

LEE: Damn, brother, that's dark.

DEAN: Yeah, it's been a rough, uh... it's been a rough decade, Lee.

LEE: Yeah.

DEAN: But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this, this right here, this is all right.

LEE: Well, I'm glad you approve. This is nothing you can't have, man.

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys?

LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

"But Lee turns out to be a villain!" some might say. "Isn't the point that giving up hunting is bad?" 

Nope. 

Lee's a DARK MIRROR for Dean. He exists to exhibit the truths behind Dean's desires, and then what they'd look like if they turned bad. Take it from him: "I am you."

There are LAYERS here. You can't focus on the dark side and ignore the truths that take place in the (often bi) light. 

The singing? The conversations about taking a break? Throwing men out of the bar, which is framed heroically? "Road House rules" (another Choice™️)?

NONE of that was bad. It shows what Dean wants. 

Things only get bad–literally and visually–when Dean's tied up as Lee suddenly says wrong things in the dark. 

The contrast exists to show that maintaining Goodness is a choice, and Dean would have no problem upholding that.

LEE: It's called a marid. It's a freaky-looking little thing, isn't it? [Lee laughs, and Dean stares at him, incredulous] Ah. As long as you feed it, it gives you money, it gives you health, everything you dreamed of.

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent. After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

LEE: Yeah. And that's what got you here. Now, takes a while to drain a man, but listen to me. Don't worry about it, all right? Don't worry because once you lose a couple of pints, you just fall asleep, and then it'll be over.

[Lee pats Dean on the shoulder]

DEAN: Lee.

LEE: This... this is not how I wanted this to go, Dean. When that blonde girl walked in here last night, I should've know, you know, Dean Winchester, the righter of wrongs, you were gonna keep digging, and you were gonna figure me out. And if it's got to be you or me, well, I got to pick me, man.

"No one cares, Dean."

"Well, I do."

It's a reminder to himself as much as it is to Lee. It's a re-centering of purpose that he sorely needs.

And what's also key? Lee is human, but is now a "monster" in Dean's words. Because Lee lost his ability to care, Dean can't abide by that.

(Side note: bonus for the fact that Lee dies up against a wall by being impaled and he coughs up blood. You know who doesn’t cough up blood in their very weird and unrealistic death scene? Dean in the finale.)

Remember: Lee is a dark mirror for Dean. "I am you." 

By fighting and (tragically) killing Lee, Dean "kills" the darker side of himself. The side that's struggling to keep going right now... AND the side that fears eventually wanting a break means you must be selfish and stop caring.

He can keep going. He can find strength to fight God–and in the end, take a break and CHOOSE peace. It won't make him dark. He's the most caring man on Earth, even when it's hard. That’s reinforced later. 

Isn't he owed a little happiness? And that's not in the having. It's in just being.

The bonus is what's going on with Cas in this episode. 

Dean's clearing his head and finding his center again while Cas is calling him. 

Come home. I need you. Remember what matters.

And again, contrast: Lee turns out not to be "real/true" in the way Dean thought he was. But Cas IS.

And after Dean goes through all of this... he's grounded again, he recognizes that even amongst questions of what God controls there are still choices to be made, he's reminded that letting his caring heart lead him is priority, he's lost another friend... 

He comes home to Cas.

It's awkward. They're still distanced. 

But this episode is a turning point for Dean. He's not angry at Cas anymore, he wants to talk, he's ready to move forward... he just doesn't know how to yet.

And if you follow the through-line... then you get Rowena saying "fix it"... and then after that is the Purgatory prayer.

I just !!! 

S15 is packed with Dean development to hone in towards the end of his arc, but "Last Call" manages to hit SO many buttons. 

• He's always been bi, & is ready to be Out

• He can want a break–& maybe run a bar like the Roadhouse

• Caring is at the core of who he is

It's about the CHOICE. It's about wanting to live your truths, and that "caring" can mean many things–from defeating God and saving the world, to making the hard choices when it counts, to maybe running a bar where people are safe.

14x10 and its matching Texan Star also say hello:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN: Whoa.

PAMELA: Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

PAMELA: So, still not ready to sell the bar, huh? It's a lot of money.

DEAN: Sell? This bar? This is my dream.

PAMELA; Yeah.

And I recognize that rereading this info is sad(der) now because of what we got in the end, so uh... sorry. 

But that's half the point: it's repeatedly blatantly clear what we were meant to get, down to deliberate echoes in word choice–caring, happiness, deserve, even Roadhouse.

Dean was meant to choose to take a break, maybe run a bar–whether on Earth or in Heaven. At minimum, if Dean was meant to end up in Heaven, he was meant to choose it with eyes wide open. And the next time the phone rang with Cas' name (15x19), he RAN for him. He was VERY ready.

And the whole season tells you that. This episode is just my favorite.

So... thanks for letting me ramble on about it!!! 

DEAN WINCHESTER: BI ICON, ONCE-LOVER OF LEE WEBB, THE MOST CARING MAN ON EARTH WHO DESERVED TO CHOOSE PEACE AFTER GAINING HIS FREEDOM, & SOULMATE TO AN ANGEL

And a very big thank you to the talented kings Jensen Ackles & Christian Kane, and their longstanding friendship. They gave me many rights with their acting choices. 

Here's an iconic bonus for the road.