#but thinking about jere being this far out did it for me

[mitamicah]

I made myself sad drawing prompt 11 for @kaarija-inktober (Frank Edition); Alienated :'3

Honestly I was so ready to draw a silly piece of Jere fooling around bitching about being 'lonely' on his vacation but then I saw this post from World Mental Health day yesterday and decided to change gears and go for angst ... again :'3

Qoute under the line

"I'd had complete given up at that point.

I just lay in my parent's bed and they fed me

and the boy was just fading away."

[caffeinemachine]

Life Jacket- Chapter 2

Hi!! Thanks for all the love on the first chapter! Sorry this out later than I expected but I couldn't stop writing and I didn't want to end the chapter at an odd spot.

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! Hope you like this chapter!

WC: 4.8K

Conrad Fisher x Eldest Conklin Sibling Reader

Blurb | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

~~~~~~~~~~

The first day always went the same. Unpack, swim, shower, nap, dinner. Sometimes the first bonfire of the season was the first day we got there, other times it was the next day. This year it was the first. So today’s order was, unpack, swim, shower, nap, dinner, get ready, party. 

We all gathered around the table for dinner in our usual spots. My Mom, Belly, and me on one side,  Steven and Jere across from us, then Conrad on the end next to me, and Sussanah on the end next to my Mom. The spots never changed over the years, unless we had guests to squeeze in somewhere. The other thing that never changed was the food. Susannah was an amazing cook. She had taught me to cook over the years. I had spent many hours by her side being her ‘little sous chef’ as she called me. This summer she told me she would show me her old college food recipe hacks. 

I picked my head up from my plate when I heard Jeremiah’s voice, “So Y/n/n when do you leave for school? Do they have the swim team go early?” 

I nodded, quickly swallowing my food so I could answer, “Yeah I have to go early, It's not too bad though only 2 weeks before the regular move-in date. I leave on August 5th.”

Susannah spoke next, “We’re so proud of you, our little fish.” Everyone chuckled at the nickname, ‘little fish’. Susannah had been calling me that for years. 

“So what about you man when do you leave for training camp?” Steven asked Conrad, only he wasn’t the one who answered. Jeremiah did.

“He uh quit football.” Silenced stretched over the table. He what? I stared at him in disbelief, but in my heart, a part of me felt relieved for him. Being a student athlete isn’t easy and I knew Conrad only did football for his father. Sure he still loved the sport, but not enough. 

“What you quit? Why man, I would’ve killed to play college ball?” Steven asked Conrad but again he didn't respond, his mother answered this time. 

“He can always change his mind.” That made Conrad speak up, getting defensive towards his mother in a way I didn't usually see from him.

“I’m not gonna change my mind, I was just gonna sit on the bench all season anyway.” I sat quietly. I didn’t know what to say. Conrad and I bonded over our athleticism over the years, it felt weird to think we didn’t share that similarity anymore. 

I hadn't realized I was staring at him until he looked back at me, our eyes locked and yet I still couldn't move. You'd think it'd be instinct to look away but as he came into focus, we just stared. I tried my best to read him to understand why he might do that, Why would he quit? I knew he didn't love it but he had gone this far with it, What made him change his mind?

There was something unreadable in his expression I didn't think it was regret or nostalgia or sadness or anger but instead some combination of all of it. I wondered why. He looked away first turning his attention to his plate as he picked at the food in front of him. I didn't push him on it, I wasn't sure I'd push him on it later either. I’m sure he had a reason, maybe it’d be best if I just let him tell me if he wanted. 

The rest of dinner continued on like normal on the first night. Catching up, making jokes, and just being happy to be in each other's presence again. Everyone went their separate ways to get ready for the bonfire, and Belly and the moms stayed downstairs preparing for their movie night. Their tradition started a few years ago when Belly was 11, almost 12. That was the first year we went to a bonfire, Conrad and I were 14, and Jeremiah and Steven were 13. The bonfires were different then, we were with the younger crowd still unmixed from the older kids.  It was in the backyard of the house owned by a kid Jeremiah and Conrad knew from sailing camp. Belly was so upset she couldn't come with us. She was too young and we didn't want to have to watch out for her the whole night, or entertain her for that matter. I love my sister and she's gotten a lot better over the years but she loves attention, even though she won't admit it. Having her come meant that I would have to keep her by my side the whole night, that I couldn't mingle with new kids and make new friends. The moms promised to hang out with her that night. They went to the drugstore in town and bought a bunch of candy. Susannah made brownies and they watched a movie, a PG-13 movie which Belly thought was awesome at the time. 

I didn't do too much to get ready for the bonfire, it wasn't anything new, but I still like to look a little bit nice. It was the first time I was seeing everybody for the season after all. My hair was down, air-dried from the shower I took earlier so it had a natural wave to it. A little concealer under my eyes, some mascara, tinted lip balm, and that was that. I put on a tank top and some jean shorts with my navy Cousins Beach sweatshirt on top. It tended to get a little bit chilly on the beach at night. I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes catching on the shimmer coming from my ears. My pearl earrings, Susannah's pearl earrings. She gave them to me for my 16th birthday just like her mother did and I've treasured them every day since. 

I had to shoo the thought away as I felt myself getting choked up. I exited my room and went down the stairs, slipping on my very worn-in black Converse by the door.  I heard stories of people in college having a designated pair of shoes they called their ‘frat shoes’. This pair of black Converse was that for me over the summer.  They had been covered in sand, soaked from water, and scuffed with dirt, more times than I could count. 

As I finished tying my last lace, the boys walked down the stairs. I sat up, shoes now tied, and patted my knees, “You guys ready to go?”

“Yep let's do this we're taking my car. Y/N you promised to be DD for the night right? Don’t worry though I won’t drink too much anyway, wouldn't want to be hungover for my first day of duty, right Y/ N?” Jeremiah answered.

I laughed, “No Jere, you definitely shouldn't be hungover. Wouldn't look good for me either after I vouched for you to get this job. But yes I’ll be DD.” He laughed with me throwing his arm over my shoulder as we walked to the car. Steven called shotgun which left me and Conrad to sit together in the back. I hated to admit it to myself but he looked good. How someone could pull off a gray hoodie that well I didn't know, but he pulled off a gray hoodie and jeans better than I'd seen ever before. 

The drive was silent in terms of conversation but in the front seat, Jeremiah and Steven were singing their hearts out to Steven's ‘pregame’ playlist off Spotify. I kept my gaze out the window. Partly because I was still taking in the beauty of Cousins, partly because I could look at him. He looked too good and I always had to distance myself from Conrad before parties. I never knew how they’d play out with him. Sometimes he’d just stick close to us, the crew, and have a super fun night hanging out. Usually, that’s what he did when I was at the party with the guys but I’d been told the stories of his playboy party actions when I wasn’t there, and last summer I had gotten a glimpse of it. A girl named Nicole had come up to him and started chatting with him. Within seconds she was quite touchy-feely. Her hand was on his chest or upper arm, even playing with his hair every once in a while. I had whispered into Jere’s ear who was between me and the horny fest, “Who’s that?” 

Jere took a quick glance over his shoulder and then whispered back, “Nicole, she and Conrad hook up every once in a while.”

I furrowed my brows, “I’ve literally never seen her before.”

“They met at a party last summer when you had left for swim camp, I think her family like only comes out for August.”

I swallowed the information and then excused myself to get a drink. I stole a beer from the kid's fridge and walked back feeling a little bit better now that I had a drink in my hand. But when I looked up to find Nicole on her tiptoes kissing Conrad against the wall, the power of the drink in my hand ceased. I turned back to the kitchen, leaning against the counter by myself for a few minutes. I had my focus down on my hands when I suddenly looked up at the sound of the refrigerator doors flying open. It was her. She was seemingly grabbing a beer from the fridge the same way I had been just a second ago. I expected her to walk back out to Connie, but instead, she stationed herself on the counter, so I took that as my sign to walk back. It was the first, and only time since I had seen Conrad's fuck-boy behavior, but the stories continued, and I never let myself feel unprepared for the chance I might see it again.

Now sitting in the car with him I did just that as I watched the houses go by. The streets are littered with beautiful bloomed hydrangeas. Suddenly, my hair was pushed behind my ear. I turned my head as his hand draped its way down from my ear to the ends of my hair. His face was soft but I could see the dimples around his smile starting to crease. I shifted in my seat, nervous with his attention on me. 

“W-what are you doing?” I spoke lowly. Not that it mattered, Jere and Steven had no chance of hearing over our screaming.

“You’re hiding.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. And it left me speechless. “Your hair is always so soft, you’d think after years of chlorine that wouldn’t be the case.” 

That eased the tension a little, as the corner of my mouth turned up. “Well, that's because I wear one of those swim caps.”

He laughed, “I’d pay to have a picture of that.” 

I laughed with him, “Don’t say that to my mom 'cause she’d easily take your money for an exchange.” 

“Let's go!” Jeremiah shouted, exiting the car along with my brother. I hadn't realized we had stopped.

I looked over my shoulder to see Conrad hadn’t moved. His eyes looked at me like he was observing my soul. I held my breath. As if not breathing would help ease the bubbles floating around in my chest. 

I couldn’t bear it.

With an awkward laugh, I scooted out of the car and jogged over to Jere and Steven. I didn’t want to walk down alone. I knew the boys wouldn’t stay by my side the whole night, they’d go do other things within the first hour, but I liked to hold onto them for as long as I could. I didn’t mind the girls I’d met with the guys here over the years, but we were never that close. Nicole, Dara, Gigi, Marisa, and Shayla, we’d all lose contact over the school year. I also knew some people who weren’t from that crew. Some of them I knew from the swim club I used to do at the Country Club when I was little under the Fisher’s name. I wasn’t exactly supposed to be in the club seeing as I wasn’t truly a member but Susannah had a way of getting people to do what she wanted. Kindness can be blinding. The club was mostly made up of little boys, there were only 3 of us girls, Sydney, Ally, and me. Sydney was a nice girl. She was super smart, and ambitous, she’s set to start at Princeton for business in the Fall. Ally, I remained better friends with as we grew up. She was a dedicated swimmer like me so we even ran into each other sometimes during the school year at competitions. Ally was a total sweetheart, but she liked to have fun. She was easy to hang out with, she understood. I hoped they were here, I had forgotten to text them when I got to Cousins.

The fire wasn’t too crazy, they had to be careful not to draw too much attention from the cops. A big crowd of people had already formed though and it was only 9:30. I grabbed a cola from the cooler as I said hello to everyone coming up to us. Chit-chat was made with numerous people, and I couldn’t help but feel these conversations were really competitions for these kids. It was like every comment had to be a one-up to the one previous.

It was around 10:30 when a hand plopped down on my shoulder abruptly.  I assumed it was one of the guys but then he came into my eyeline, Peter Millington. 

“Yooo Y/N what's good?” He said a little slurred. As he moved to stand in front of me his hand dropped from my shoulder. 

“Hey Peter,” I laughed. Peter was a good guy, he was flirty but it was harmless. Annoying, but harmless. I met him at the swim club when we were 10. 

“So miss big shot where you heading this fall?  I’m sure schools across the country were practically begging outside your front door!” 

I laughed, “I won’t deny that, but I’m actually not going far. I’m gonna be going to Harvard.” His mouth hung open.

“No shit.”

“Yes, shit. How about you, still swimming?” 

He shook his head, “Nah nah, I’m trying to be a sports agent, I’ll be going to Penn State.”

“That’s great, congrats.” I smiled at him. 

He pointed at me a big smirk spreading across his face, “Yeah so you better remember me when you go all famous.” He finished his statement by slightly hitting the side of my arm. 

“You got it Pete, I won’t forget you-”

“Belly what the fuck!” My head snapped and my jaw dropped. I took off over to them. I sort of abandoned Pete but eh, he’ll be fine. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Steven yelled.

I smacked his shoulder once I had run up to them. “Stop yelling! You’re making a scene!” I whisper-shouted at him. 

Then I turned my attention to my baby sister. My baby sister, who wasn’t supposed to be here. My baby sister, who was just talking to a man 5 years older than her. My baby sister, who chose to wear a tiny skin-tight pink mini dress. My clueless, trouble-causing, baby sister. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked her as calmly as I could. 

“What I can’t go to a party?” She bit back defensively.

Excuse me? She didn’t get to give me shit for being concerned when she's the one who showed up out of the blue. I scoffed, “Did I say that?”

“What are you even wearing Belly we are on the beach why would you-“ 

“Steven. Knock it off. Go hang out with Shayla.” This was getting too aggravating. Steven was instigating too much, he must have already pissed Belly off by the time I ran up and now I had to deal with it.

“Did Taylor tell you to wear that or something?” I asked Belly, trying my best to figure out what was going on without having to have an argument in the middle of a party. 

“Why can’t I just dress nicely without being questioned?” Why the hell was she being so defensive? 

 “Again did I say that?” I couldn’t hold back the bite to my tone.

She rolled her eyes before looking at me. But then her gaze sharply caught something over my shoulder. I turned to look. Jeremiah. Drunk off his ass. Standing next to the fire trying to strip and go skinny dipping. He had already stripped off his sweatshirt, shirt, shoes, and socks. 

“Great.” I scoffed, running over to my now 2nd problem of the night. 

When he saw me running over he smiled brightly, “Y/N! We are going swimming come on! OH MY GOSH Belly! You’re here! You come too!”

Belly laughed beside me and I would’ve thrown a dirty look her way if I had the energy to spare. 

“No. No one is going swimming. It’s pitch black, the rip currents are crazy, and you are wasted. That’s all recipe for disaster.” I said authoritatively. 

Jeremiah pouted. “Please?”

“No. Now put your clothes on.” 

“Booooo.” Was he serious? He swayed as he re-dressed, his shirt blocking his vision. Good god.

“And get rid of the drink Jere, You’ve had enough.” 

“Ughhh fine party pooper.” Before I could stop him he threw his drink into the fire. 

“Jere-” The fire grew, a blaze lighting the beach. Shouts were heard as other drunk idiots followed Jeremiah’s lead and fueled the fire. “I can’t with this, Jere hang out with Belly.”

He smiled at that, “Alright come here belly button sit with me by the fire.” She giggled and obliged.

I took a deep breath, my feet taking me to the shoreline without even thinking. I needed to calm down. The chaos was overwhelming. I sat down on the sand a few feet away from where the water reached. The breeze flowed against me and I felt my mind begin to ease. This. This is why I always loved Cousins. I will never feel as at peace as I do when I’m next to the ocean. Water just calmed me down. I was the little fish. 

I hoped that would never change. I hoped I would always be the little fish, no matter how big or how small the pond. No matter what happened down the line, the peace I felt by the water would never be disturbed. I’d always be, as Susannah so deemed me, a little fish. 

I felt a plop next to me in the sand. I knew who it was without even looking, I could simply feel his energy. It was Conrad. He looked out on the water as he placed whatever drink he had in his hand down next to him. I kept my gaze out on the water as well. It felt good to just sit with somebody. With him. 

“So you go around telling everybody you’re going to Harvard?” He said, slight humor in his tone.

I sighed, “I mean only when anyone asked.”

“No shouting from the rooftops?” 

“No shouting from the rooftops. I’m not a big bragger.” I snickered, and so did he.

“You? Please! You have always been humble but you never shied away from sharing your accomplishments. You should be proud of yourself, it’s a big deal.” I just shrugged in response.

“I’m proud of you.” I looked at him then. His eyes were full of sincerity. I don’t think he knew how much that meant to hear. I caught his eyes flicking to my lips. 

Wait what-

He was looking at my lips and when he looked back up his eyes shone with vulnerability. I couldn’t help myself when my eyes dipped down to look at his. I imagined what it’d be like to kiss him. His soft pillowy lips moving against my own. I wondered where he’d put his hands. He seemed like the type of guy to cup the back of your head. I’d feel the weight of his hand as he pulled me into him like he was desperate for our connection. Maybe one hand would fall to my hips or my thigh, acting like an anchor. 

I couldn’t let my mind wander too far. Lord knows where that would lead. When our eyes met the tension was unmistakable. I couldn’t. I couldn’t let myself fall into him. I’d never stand back up. 

“Stella? Alright, thanks man!” 

Spell broken. Peter had just snatched Conrad’s beer from its spot between us and was taking a big slug of it. 

“Pete what the hell?” I said, standing up from my seat on the sand. 

“Dude give me my beer back.” Conrad stood up as well, Pete was standing between us. 

“Whaaaat? You weren’t even drinking it man! It was just- you know just sitting there and all the- all the other Stella’s are gone.” He was plastered. I felt my chest sink. This isn’t gonna go well.

“I don’t give a fuck if there aren’t any left, that one is mine now give it back to me.” Conrad defended.

“Connie come on-” 

“It’s just a beer man.” Pete turned to face primarily towards Conrad. 

“Exactly, so give me my beer back and get yourself your own.” 

“No.”

“Pete come on you definitely don’t need another drink.” I approached him, going to put my hand down on his shoulder to try and calm him down. Then just as I did he rolled back his elbow saying,

“Oh fuck off.”

I fell to the ground. His elbow collided right with my ear and the side of my face. Well, that hurt like a bitch. I’ll have a black eye on my first day back to work. Awesome.

“Y/N-“

I kept my eyes clenched shut for a minute before I felt a hand come to my shoulder, it was Belly and Jeremiah helping me up. My ears rang for a minutes before clearing. I watched as Steven and Jere broke up the fight. 

Conrad looked at me as Steven pulled him back. I shook my head and looked away. Actually, I looked right at the flashing blue and red lights now coming from the top of the dunes. Cops, awesome. 

“Enough!” I snapped everyone out of it, “Let’s go! Come on!”

I grabbed Belly’s hand as we ran up to the car, glancing over my shoulder quickly to make sure the boys were behind us. 

“Jere keys!” I caught the keys as he tossed them to me, unlocking the car doors. “In! Now!”

I started the car, a scowl on my face. My head felt like it was vibrating but it wasn’t like any of them could drive with their intoxication level. I couldn’t believe them. How on earth did they think it was appropriate to act like this?  I kept my eyes on the road, but I was sure they could feel the anger radiating off of me. 

“Y/N look I-“ Steven started but I cut him off.

“I don’t wanna hear it.” 

Then Jeremiah came in, “We didn’t mean to-“

“I said I don’t wanna hear it! Unless you want me to hit a drunk teenager stumbling home, you’ll shut up and listen to me! I’m distracted enough by the pinging in my head.” 

They were silent after that. 

I was mad and I had plenty of reason to be. I had been in this position with my sibling plenty of times, a few with Jeremiah, but never Conrad. I knew he started fights occasionally, but never with me around. 

I pulled into the driveway and parked the car. Then I child-locked in all those mother fuckers. I unblocked my seatbelt and positioned myself to be able to see them all. Steven and Jere struggled to open the doors while Belly sat in the middle confused. To my surprise Conrad just sat in his seat, his focus down in his lap, he made no objections. Once the three backseat idiots figured it out they looked to me expectantly. 

I raised my brows, “What you thought just cause I didn’t want you distracting me while driving you were gonna be off the hook?”

“Y/N what do you even care? You’re not our mom.” Belly said, rolling her eyes.

She only fueled my anger, “Yeah no shit I’m not 'cause Mom wouldn’t have put up with even an ounce of the crap you guys pulled tonight. Do you think I like playing mommy? Do you think I wouldn’t have rathered to enjoy the first night of my summer stress-free? You are lucky I’m a good sister, 'cause I could so easily walk inside and tell Mom everything that went down tonight. Then maybe you’d realize that having you deal with me instead of mom, is me being nice.”  I watched my sibling's attitudes deflate. Jeremiah on the other hand was sitting there trying and failing to hide the smirk from his face. “What’s so funny Jeremiah? Do you think I’m not talking to you too right now? All of you put me in bad positions tonight because of how you acted. ”

Jeremiah chimed in again, “We weren’t that bad.”

My jaw dropped, “Not that bad? Let’s see who should I start with. How about you Jeremiah, I stopped you from getting naked in front of every teenager in cousins, potentially drowning and killing yourself, and even after I did that you acted like an idiot! Throwing alcohol into the fire, you’re probably the reason the cops came! Oh and just the cherry on top, the fact that you’re wasted after promising me you wouldn’t be.” He was quiet now. 

“Steven had to cause a whole scene, but I’m not even that mad at him because he was right to be questioning you Bells! How the hell did you even get there?”  

She peeked up sheepishly, “I walked.” 

“You walked? Belly do the Moms even know you came to the bonfire?”

“No, I snuck out.”  She spoke in a quiet tone.

“Jesus Bells! If you had just told me you wanted to come I would’ve vouched for you. For god sake, I would’ve given you a ride!” My head pounded. I rubbed my forehead trying to ease the pain, I needed some advil. “You guys can’t act like that. It’s dangerous, and quite frankly embarrassing. I’m just- I’m done dealing with it.” I took a breath and unlocked the doors, “Go inside guys. Go to sleep.” I sat forward with my head in my hands. I heard the doors open and close as they got out without a word. 

Except he didn’t. I didn’t look over at him. I honestly didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t know how I felt at the moment. 

“Are you ok? Is your head alright?” He had worry in his voice and I couldn’t help but feel a flutter in my heart. 

“I have a headache and I’ll probably wake up to a huge bruise on my cheek but I’m fine.”

“How come you’re not mad at me too?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t mad at you.” I felt his eyes on me the whole time but mine stayed forward at the house. 

“You didn’t yell at me like everyone else.”

“Because I didn’t know what to say to you not because I’m not mad at you.”

A beat passed. Just us sitting in the car before he spoke up again, “I’m so sorry you got hurt, Pete was plastered-“

“You could’ve just let him have the beer.”

“Y/N I wasn’t going to-“

“Look it’s been a long night, just- just go to bed Con.” I grabbed the keys and left the car. I hadn’t looked at him once and I didn’t look back at him.  I couldn’t. I don’t even think I was truly mad at him, I mean it was Pete’s fault, not his. I was more overwhelmed with tonight’s events and I didn’t have the energy to unpack anything right now. My head was pounding and I needed to lay down. Work would be a nightmare tomorrow morning. 

I went straight into the shower when I got inside. I gave myself a quick rinse. Susannah always stoked our bathroom with luxurious bath products for me and Belly. But I know Steven liked it too.

I walked into my room and plopped right down onto my bed. Man, it was soft, and it only seemed softer after a hard night. 

I went to grab my phone when I saw it. A water bottle, advil, an ice pack, and a cookie, sitting on my bedside table, and I most certainly didn’t put it there. I knew who did. I knew it was him, and I could feel myself smile a little. I felt myself forgive him, he was hard to stay mad at. He wouldn’t mention it, I probably wouldn’t either, but we knew that we knew. That was enough. 

For now.

~~~~~~~

Tag list:

@mid-80s @geekinthefuschiahair @paytonloiselle

[dumblilb]

SUMMERTIME SADNESS

Jeremiah Fisher x Fem!Reader

(Summary: ~ Think I'll miss you forever. Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky ~

No place in the world ever felt more like home to Y/n Rowe than Cousins beach. Sure it was a beautiful place, but it was more to do with the people. Her and her mother spent every summer since she was brought home with the Fishers and the Conklins. It was her favorite time of year.

But this year felt different. Everything felt more intense. She was finally comfortable in her skin. And that meant maybe, just maybe, Jeremiah Fisher might actually notice her.)

(Warnings: none for this chapter besides some underage drinking and insecure thoughts)

(Words: 4074)

* ・゚☆ 。・ * ・゚★ 。・ * ・゚☆ * ・゚☆ 。

Chapter 1:

I loved cousins beach. Maybe even more than home. But then again it never feels quite like home without the fishers and the conklins. Me and my mother have been staying with them at cousins beach since before I could remember. It was my favorite part of the year. It suck’s being so far from your best friends. So the months between June and august we have to make the most of it. Me and belly would call sporadically throughout the school year but the weeks leading up to cousins whe faced times every single night. Planning outfits and talking about what we would do all summer.

And well, the fisher boys. It was painfully obvious how much belly liked Conrad. I remember the day I squeezed the information out of her. Literally. We were in her room two summers ago and it was late. We had been messing around playing dress up in some clothes I stole from my mom when I bring it up.

“Belly I swear I know who you like.”

“No you don’t.” She says looking in the floor length mirror giggling.

“Yes I do.” I say jumping to her shoulders with a hug. She squealed

As we fell to the bed.

“Who then?” She laughs squinting her eyes.

“CONRA-“ I say loudly before she puts her hands over my mouth.

“STOP! Be quiet.” She whispers eyeing the door hoping the boy didn’t her me from down the hall.

“I knew it.” I say muffled from under her fingers. I wrap my arms around her squeezing her in a big hug causing her to let my mouth go.

“That’s so cute! I knew it!” I smile. She just rolls her eyes with a big blush across her cheeks.

“Fine, fine. I like conrad. But you can’t tell anyone.” She said looking me dead in the eyes.

“Pinky promise.” I grin softly.

“Pinky promise.” She says wrapping hers around mine.

“Plus I promise not to tell anyone you like Jeremiah.” She giggles causing a loud gasp to leave my lips.

Sitting in the car on the way to cousins always brings up memories like that. Maybe it’s the nerves that get built up to see him. Would he notice me that way this summer? Did he look better than the year before? It always clouded my mind on the road there. But then we would hit this place in the road where you could smell the sea so strong it would all fade away. And the excitement would flow back in.

We finally pull up to the house and I see Jeremiah and a soaking wet belly run out the door.

“Y/n!” Belly yells jumping into my arms. Getting me slightly wet in the process.

“Hi bells.” I muse with a wide smile.

“I missed the belly flop didn’t I?” I laugh and Jeremiah chuckles walking up to us.

“Oh yeah you did. But this time she got Conrad back.” He says and belly moves to the side letting him get a hug in.

“Missed you n/n.” He says squeezing me tight spinning us around.

“I missed you too Jere.” I say letting go. The feeling on his hands moving themselves from my waist to his sides making my cheeks heat up. Belly just smiles knowingly and then they both greet my mom, helping her with her bags. I start to get mine out when Susannah, Laurel, Steven, and Conrad walk outside.

“My beautiful girl. Look at you!” Susannah smiles as she walks up to me pilling me up in a warm hug. Sometimes the only thing in the world that can make me feel better is a hug from Susannah. She has this was of making you believe everything will be okay.

“I missed you so much.” I say holding her tight.

“My turn, my turn!” Laurel says and Susannah lets her get a hug.

“Ugh I’m so excited to be here with you guys.” I say and she pulls away fixing my hair.

“It’s so good to see you.” She smiles and they both turn to my mom. They all smile and embrace each other. It makes me wonder if us kids will be like them when we’re older. But I’m brought out of thought when I feel a hand aggressively messing up my hair.

“Hi Steven.” I say rolling my eyes.

“You know I’m gonna get pay back for last summer right.” He says with a glare that doesn’t reach the giant smile on his lips.

“Oh yeah I bet.” I smirk. Every summer me and Steven have a little prank war. Last year me and belly stole all of his clothes while he was in the shower and dumped them in the pool. The moms made us do laundry for a week after. But it was worth it.

He goes to say hi to my mom and Conrad comes up.

“You got taller.” He smiles.

“You didn’t.” I say smiling back causing him to laugh.

“Yeah yeah okay, I’m gonna got say hi to the nicer Rowe, before I’m all Rowe-ed out for the day.” He jokes and belly comes up to me.

“Let’s get your bags inside. I wanna get you all unpacked so we can hang out.” She says dragging me to the trunk of the car. We grab everything and head up to my room.

The light blue patterned wallpaper brings this sensation of calm everyone I walk in. It feels serene. My room back home is covered in posters, but here, here was a clean slate for my mind to breathe in every year.

Belly puts my bags on the bed and I open them up starting to unpack my clothes her putting away my makeup stuff.

“God I love all your makeup stuff it’s so pretty. I need to get better at it before I can go all out like this.” She smiles as I put a few shirts in the drawer.

“I’ll teach you don’t worry. Plus you’re so beautiful already makeup for you should just be fun.” I remark. She looks up at me with a blush.

“You’re just saying that.” She scoffs.

“No I’m serious bells. You’ve always had beauty don’t get me wrong, but you had a glow up this year.” I reassure and her smile grows.

“Well you’ve gotten more beautiful too. You just seem so comfortable in your skin this summer.” She says back. Nudging me with her hip.

I just thank her. She was half right. I definitely feel more confident in my self. But I’ll always feel insecure in this town. All the pretty girls on the beach will never fail to make me self conscious about what should be my so called ‘bikini body’. Or not being able to wear makeup to the beach when I’m having a breakout. But I’ve learned to ignore those thoughts as well as I can.

I’m a year older than belly. And I always feel like I have to hide those thoughts from her. Be a good example. She doesn’t need to find insecurities in herself because I’m complaining about mine.

“Hey let’s go to my room real quick I want to change out of these wet clothes.” She giggles pulling me out of thought.

“Oh yeah duh, let’s go.” I smile. “I wanna pick out your outfit though.” I smirk and she sighs.

“You’re so extra about this stuff.” She complains and I just laugh.

“I got a passion for fashion, what can I say.”

“Did you just quote bratz.” She giggles as I go through her drawers.

“And what if I did.” I smirk.

“You’re so-“ she starts to say when the door slams open.

“Hello ladies.” Jeremiah says jumping on belly’s bed.

“She could have been changing you dork.” I say throwing a pillow at him.

“You guys always lock the door when you change. I know you.” He says throwing the pillow.

“But anyways both of you do need to change. I’ve been waiting all day to go to the beach with you guys.”

“I- uh, told my mom me and y/n would go to whale of a tale.” She says and Jeremiah grabs junior mint making a sad face.”

“Please come swimming with me.” He says in this stupid baby voice.

“-I think she can go by herself.” Belly says and me and Jere share a big smile.

“YAY!” He exclaims getting up off the bed. He grabs my wrist pulling me to my room. Before I can say he shuts the door with me in it.

“Both of you go change!” He says and runs downstairs.

I pull out a bathing suit and head downstairs with my towel meeting Jere and belling in the back.

“Ready?” I ask and he turns to me. God his eyes were blue. They had a tack for making me forget what I was thinking about when I started speaking to him. They both say yes and we start walking but the whole walk all I could think of was how he got tanner this summer. And his hair looked fluffier than last. He had gotten taller too. He had to look down a little to make eye contacts. Which made my heart flutter.

“Hey. Did you know my dad's coming up for the Fourth?” Says belly making us look at her.

“Cool.” Jeremiah smiles.

“Yeah that’s great.” I say doing the same.

“Don't you think it's weird?” She asks.

“Not really. I love your dad.” Jere adds.

“Yeah, but they've only been divorced for, like, a year and a half.” She sighs.

“Well, that's what's so cool about your mom, you know? She just doesn't give a shit.” He says.

“Exactly. She doesn't give a sh¡t because she's the one who wanted the divorce in the first place.” She continues.

“Forever grateful I’m adopted. I never have to deal with men. It sounds exhausting.” I giggle and they both join in.

“I think if you don't want to be married, you just shouldn't be married.” Jere says and I nod.

“It’s better for everyone involved.”

“Well, tell that to my grandma. She basically collapsed when my mom told her. Did you know my dad has a new girlfriend already?” She chuckles.

“Well, what about your mom? Is she dating anybody?” Jere asks.

“No. Oh, and he has a beard now.” She laughs.

“Oh yeah?” I say.

“Your dad has a beard?” Jere says with a confused face.

“Yeah. He thinks it makes him look cool.” She sighs.

“Well, does it?” I ask.

“Kind of.” She snorts.

“I've waited all year for this.” I say loudly as we get to the water.

“You want to race?” Jere asks us.

“No, no, I can't, you...” belly starts to say then runs towards the water leaving us behind.

“Oh that is just not fair.” I say and start running too.

“Oh, come on. Wait up!” Jere yells and chases us. He quickly catches up to me grabbing me and spinning me around.

“If I can’t be first I’ll be second.” He smiles. “SORRY N/N” he continues and bolts for the water. I just kinda stand there for a second in a daze. The heat from his body goes just as quickly as it came leaving me in shock. I’ve always had a crush on the younger fisher brother. But for some reasons this year it felt stronger. Maybe it’s because I finally feel pretty enough in my own skin. Maybe he’ll notice me.

Jeremiah fisher is the biggest flirt in cousins. He’s had multiple summer flings for the past few years. But I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to be someone he forgets about in the fall. And maybe being friends is the only way that can happen. But a girl can dream.

We all head back to the house for dinner. Getting changed into dry clothes and seated at the table.

“Steven, I swear to God, if you look at that phone one more time, I'm putting it in the screen basket.” Laurel says scolding her oldest child.

“It's just, we want to see your beautiful faces. Can dinner be a screen-free zone? You know, like the olden days.” Susannah smiles with a small chuckle at her own joke.

“Steven.” Laurel repeats. Jeremiah takes his phone from his hands and throws it into the basket.

“Dude, are you kidding me?” Steven exclaims.

“Boom! Nailed it.” Jere says flexing.

“Okay, okay, okay, we get it, you've been working out.” Steven complains.

“Oh, you're just jealous because Jere has a better body than you.” I say nonchalant but quickly look up to see Jere looking at me with a pleasantly surprised look on his face.

“Thank you n/n. You’re pretty bodacious yourself.” He says quoting ‘bill and teds excellent adventure.’ I made him watch it with me last year and he hasn’t stopped sending me stupid texts quoting it since. I just roll my eyes with a small smile, saying thank you.

“Uh, no, actually, it's all about the lean look now. Otherwise, you can't wear tailored suits.” Steven defends.

“Sure, sure.” Belly says.

“Tailored suits.” Conrad laughs.

“When are you leaving for training camp, man?” Steven asks him.

“Uh, he quit football.” Jere says.

“Wh... Wait, really? You quit?” Steven asks.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Are you kidding me, man? I'd-I'd kill to play college ball.” Steven continues.

“He can always change his mind.” Susannah butts in.

“I'm not gonna change my mind. I was just gonna sit on the bench all season anyways.” Conrad says getting annoyed.

“Well, if you're not playing football anymore, what are you gonna do all summer?” Belly asks.

“Oh, dude, you can work at the club. with me and Jere.” Steven says.

“Yeah. I'm not gonna work at the club.” Conrad scoffs.

“Wait, you guys are working this summer?” I ask.

“Yeah, I'm lifeguarding, and Steven's working at the snack shop.” Jere says doing a lil hand shake with Steven.

“Oh, Belly, Y/n, I almost forgot. I have a surprise for you.” Susannah says taking out two white invitations.

“So, this is why you had to stop by the country club.” My mom says. And Laurel shakes her head.

“I wrangled Belly and y/n an invitation to be a debutante.” Susannah exclaims.

“Is that the thing where the girls wear white dresses and curtsy?” Belly asks.

“It's when a girl comes of age and is presented to society. I-I know it sounds silly, but I swear it's fun. Girls come from all over New England to Cousins just to be a part of it. You'll make so many new friends.” Susannah defends.

“I cannot believe you are still holding on to this archaic dream.” My mom laughs.

“No, it used to be about finding a husband, but now it's about networking. They teach you leadership skills, like how to market yourself, and it benefits charity. It's, um, like a bat mitzvah.” Susannah continues.

“It is not like a bat mitzvah. There is nothing religious about a debutante ball.” Laurel scoffs.

“The whole deb scene is bullshit. It's for sheep.” Conrad says.

“No, it's not. It's when a girl has a coming out, it's a formal recognition she's reached maturity.” Susannah continues.

“Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. Mature?” Steven says surprised.

“Yes.”

“Belly and Y/n?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“A-a couple months ago you had a cat funeral. You made us all wear black.” Steven exclaims flabbergasted.

“Shut up, Steven. I saw you crying in your room.” Belly recoils.

“Wait, Mochi died? Dang. I'm sorry, Bells.” Jere says a sympathetic expression taking his features.

“Girls. Don't you want to get all dressed up?” Susannah asks hopeful.

“It's just not Belly's kind of thing. She's our feral little alley cat.” Laurel says. My mom already knows I’ll say yes. I like dressing up. Meeting new people isn’t my favorite thing but if it’s with belly I’ll do it.

Belly looks to me and I smile softly causing her to do the same and look back to Susannah.

“I'll think about it.” She says.

“She'll think about it.” Says Susannah to Laurel happily.

We finish up dinner and I head up to my room. After a few minutes I hear a knock at my door. Jere cracks it open and I invite him in.

“Hey, there’s a bonfire tonight. I already asked your mom and she said you could go. Get dressed.” He says flopping down on my bed next to me.

“What my pajamas aren’t bonfire ready enough for you.” I say turning to him.

“They are, but I know you. Go pick out a cute little outfit. And let’s go.” He says booping my nose and walking out of my room.

Sometimes I hate how right he is.

I pick out a dress and put on my leather jacket. It gets cold at the beach during the night. I slide on my shoes and head to the door to the back yard.

“Ooo y/n give us a twirl.” Jeremiah says with a smile as I walk up and I laugh doing a small 360 for him and Steven.

“Okay let’s go!” Steven says and we walk out the back door.

“First bonfire of the summer!” jere says loudly.

“All right, we're totally taking my car. You're not driving.” Jere says pointing to steven.

“Come on, man, we're leaving. You ready?” Steven says to Conrad who is sitting at the edge of the pool talking to belly.

“Can I come, too?” She asks.

“Uh, no. The moms are getting everything set up for your movie night.” Steven says.

“See you. Let's go, slowpoke. Have fun with the moms!” Jere says.

“Hey why can’t belly come?” I ask but the boys start walking away.

“Come on y/n.” They say not stopping.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take you out a different night. Just us girls.” I say to belly heading to the car.

We get to the bonfire and I thought I would be hanging out with them but they all dispersed and left me alone. Steven is flirting with this girl and Conrad is already making out with someone. Jere has a group of like four people fawning over his attention. I’m not a big drinker so I just kinda chill by the fire. Till I decide to go walk closer to the water. I needed to get the sight of Jeremiah flirting with other people out of my head.

I loved the ocean. Well. To be honest I loved the shore. The part of the water that you can still see your feet in when you look down.

The first time I realized I liked Jeremiah we were sitting on the shore. We were 12 and we sat covered in wet sand digging for sand crabs. He had found one and told me to put my hands out. He put it and a small pile of sand onto my palms and put his forehead to mine to block the sun. We sat there and watched it dig around. Legs crisscross and knees together. His eyes met mine for a second and he had the biggest smile of his face. That was the first moment I understood what people meant when they said they got butterflies in their stomachs.

I shook the memory out of my head and started walking back to the bonfire. It was getting too cold. When I got there though I saw belly. And she was talking with some guy. They looked cute together so I just left them alone. Till I hear Conrad fighting with some guy.

“What's your problem, man?”

“It's one beer. It's a party. Relax.”

“No, give me my beer back. I paid for this.”

“Stop, stop. You're drunk. Just give him the beer.” The girl Conrad was with says.

“Maybe you should listen to your lady.”

“Stop. You're drunk.”

“No. I'm fine. I'm fine. Give me the beer back.” Conrad argues.

“You guys, you guys, you guys.” Belly says walking up to them just as it’s about to get physical. She gets elbowed in the face by the guy Conrad was arguing with.

“Belly.” Conrad says concerned.

“Guys. What the hell.” I say running to help belly up.

“What the fսck is wrong with you?” Conrad says to the guy.

“Are you okay?” Jere says coming up to belly.

“Come on, big man, come on.“ the guy says still egging Conrad on.

“Quit being a dick.” I yell at the guy.

“COPS!” Some kid yells and lights start flashing. We all run to the jeep and climb in. I look around and notice I dropped my phone.

“Fuck I lost my phone I’ll be right back.” I say.

“I’ll help you look.” Jere says.

We trace back our steps and find it.

“Shit this thing is gonna be full of sand for weeks.” I complain and he laughs.

“It’ll be fine don’t worry about it- hey is that Steven?” He asks and we look over.

“Steven hurry up!” I yell and he runs over.

“Sorry I was saying goodbye.”

“Oooh Steven got a girlfriend-“ I start to say goofing around with him till we get to the jeep and see the cops talking to belly and Conrad. Fuck.

We get escorted home and Laurel takes care of it.

“Officers, thank you. It won't happen again, I can promise you that much.”she says.

“Tell Mr. Fisher the chief wants to set up a tee time when he gets back in town.” The officer says.

“Absolutely. Sorry again for all the trouble. Have a good night, Officers.” Laurel says and shuts the door turning to us with disappointed look.

“How could you guys be so irresponsible?”

“Mom, it wasn't a big deal. All right?” Belly says.

“Seriously. The cops were just looking to break up the bonfire.” Steven says.

“Not a big deal? Yes. I would say getting picked up by the cops for underage drinking is a pretty big deal, Steven.” She says letting out a scoff.

“Were-were you guys, you guys smoking tonight?” Conrad asks and my jaw drops. Why is he being such a douchebag.

“What? Keep your voice down. Susannah and Kate are asleep on the couch.” Laurel says panicked.

“Well, I wasn't yelling.” He continues.

“Well, you-you-you were.”

“Just so you know, Laurel, I-I didn't drink tonight. I was the DD, I swear.” Jere reassured her. But she doesn’t care.

“You're the oldest. What the hell's gotten into you?” She says to Conrad.

“And when did you leave the house without telling anybody? And what in the world are you wearing?” She says looking to belly.

“It's Taylor's. And why am I the only one who's not allowed to go out?” She asks.

“It's not that you're not allowed, it's that you should have told us you were going. How did you even get there?” Laur says concerned.

“I walked.”

“Jesus. You know better than to walk that far down the beach alone late at night.”

“Can you stop treating me like a kid?” Belly pleads.

“If you want to be treated like an adult, you need to act like one.”

“Then maybe you guys should, too.” Conrad says digging himself in deeper.

“What does that mean? I hope you realize this night could have ended a lot differently if your family wasn't your family.” She says to the boys.

“We're sorry, Laur.” I say.

“Just... go to bed, guys.” She says sighing and we all walk upstairs.

Im about to get ready for bed when I feel arms wrap around me from the back.

“Jere go to bed.” I say shaking my head.

“Im so happy you’re here.” He says letting go and I smile.

“Why.”

“Cause me and you are doing another movie night soon.” He says.

“Oh yeah?” I questions.

“Yeah and it’s my turn to pick.” He says. “Be prepared to be stollen from belly one of these nights.” He continues and leaves the room only to crack the door open one last time.

“Good night n/n.”

“Good night Jere.” I say and he shuts the door.

I get ready for bed and climb under the covers. As I’m falling asleep all I can think about is his arms wrapped around me.

This summer was going to be great.

[landos-meat-rider]

1999, part one

ok. this is my very first fic and the first time ive done any creative writing that isnt for a gcse english writing exam. this is part one of a mini series called "1999" (inspired by beabadoobee's song). im literally making it up as i go😍🙏.

please lmk what you think: should i scrap it or keep going? anything i should change?

and maybe repost if you feel extra generous :))

warnings: none!

conrad fisher masterlist

masterlist

     ༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝

Summer had always been a time Belly, Steven and I had looked forward to. Sure Christmas and Easter were beautiful and memorable, but there was something about spending our summer at Cousins Beach. We'd been doing it ever since we can remember. For a whole three months, the Conklins and the Fishers did everything together. It was like while the rest of our year was shit, summer was always there to turn it around. We watched fireworks together, surfed, barbequed, and pulled all-nighters out in the backyard in tents pretending we were far away from our parents in some other country when in reality they were only a few feet away drinking wine and talking. We spent every waking hour together for those three months. And now that we’re all older, we party together.

After Belly and I turned sixteen we started seeing the boys in a different light. It was like they were the same boys we’ve known all our lives but somehow different. 

Steven would make fun of us for what seemed like years on the car ride to Cousins whenever he heard us giggling and whispering about how Belly and Jeremiah were destined to be since he posted a reel with her favourite song (he can't even remember her favourite colour for the life of him). But whenever she’d ask me about Conrad I’d shake my head and blush trying to convince her I didn’t like him like that.

Conrad was…complicated. He was gorgeous and tall and perfect and way out of my league. Hell, he probably saw me as a sister to him and nothing more. I had seen him go through girls year after next and had slowly started to lose hope of there being an ‘us’ anyway.

My thoughts get interrupted by yet another loud sigh by Steven. I swear if I don't end up strangling him by the time we get there…

“I’m boredddd”, Steven sighs.

“Steven that's your tenth consecutive ‘I’m bored’  in a row, can’t you think of anything else to say?” Belly all but yells at him.

He lets out another sigh before I wack the side of his head from the backseat.

“Hey!” he yells out trying to get me back from the passenger seat while Belly laughs and starts recording the moment on her phone.

“Alright, kids can we dial down on the domestic abuse, please? I’d like to go at least a few hours before having to swallow another paracetamol from your headaches.”, Mom says obviously getting fed up with us.

Instead of arguing back I try and shut Steven up by asking him questions.

“So Stevie,” I start, giggling as he annoyingly groans at the nickname Belly, Taylor and I made up for him, “what are you…most excited for this summer?” I ask making up the question off the top of my head.

Steven thinks for a minute before answering, “Surfing for sure.” He nods.

“Drinking wine with Susannah.”, says Mom smiling at the thought of her best friend.

“Fourth of July.”, says Belly.

“You sure you’re not most excited to see Jere?” I nudge her with my elbow as she squeals and looks away.

“What about you honey, what are you most excited for?” Mom asks, looking at me through her rearview mirror.

“The bonfire.” I say, smiling.

I’ve always loved the bonfire. Everything about it, it's always such a vibe. The kegs, the fire, the songs, the smores. It's always been my favourite part of the summer.

Until this summer, when I brought my boyfriend to Cousins.

༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝

“You guys ready for the bonfire, should we go down?” Conrad asks as he enters the living room. I look up at him from my position with Belly on the couch. God, I’d forgotten how pretty he was.

Conrad comes behind the couch and wraps his arms around my neck giving me a slight hug before pulling away, “I missed you.” he says looking down at me.

Before I can reply Steven speaks up, “Aw Connie, no worries man I’m here now,” he says smiling enthusiastically as he pulls Conrad towards the door by his shoulders while everyone laughs at his misunderstanding.

Conrad looks at me expectantly and takes out a small box from his pocket.

“Let's go, man,” Steven says to Conrad before pulling on him again, “I wanna show you this really cool trick I learned the other day…” He drones on as Conrad’s eyebrows furrow and he looks back at me, “Aren’t you coming?” he asks pointing at me questioningly.

I give him a sad smile before responding, “I’ll join you guys later, I’m gonna wait here for Dean he should be here soon.”

Just when I thought they couldn’t, Conrad’s eyebrows furrowed deeper.

“Who’s Dean?”

“Oh didn’t we tell you?,” Belly responds, “Y/n has a boyfriend.”

Conrad and Jeremiah’s faces were a sight to see. Eyes wide, mouths agape and eyebrows straight up, staring at me as if I had told them I got my eyeballs tattooed.

“Okay, you don't have to be that surprised…ouch.” I wince.

Conrad and Jeremiah straighten up and Jeremiah looks at me and smiles before saying, “No, no that’s…uhm that’s great Y/n.” He looks at Conrad halfway through his sentence as Conrad looks down at his feet and puts the box he was holding, in his pocket before turning to Steven and talking to him about setting the keg up for the bonfire and walking out the door without sparing a glance to me.

“That was weird.” I say to Belly as she leans in to give me a hug,

“Totally. What’s his deal?” she responds.

“Beats me.” I shrug before yelling “Have fun! Use protection!” out behind her and Jeremiah before Belly turns her head around and flips me off which just makes me and Jeremiah laugh harder.

I sigh and turn the tv on. With Mom, Susanna and everyone going out, I was the only one left to wait for Dean. I wonder how long he’ll be, I can’t wait to go to the bonfire. Luckily I got a text from him just as I decided on watching Gilmore Girls.

'hey, i'll be there in five :)'

whew that’s part one done! here’s part two!!

1999, part two

[micahthemoon]

Summer 2024

The Are You Tattoo Saga

I have been fascinated by tattoos for a long time. I love the fact that you can make yourself into a work of art quite literally showing your passions and story on your sleeve. There’s autonomy in getting tattoos as well; taking back our body that may or may not give us dysphoria (or other senses of discomfort) and decide what it shall look like for ourselves. Body parts that otherwise would make me uncomfortable have been made a source of pride (on good days) or at least I can look at it with content indifference (on the lesser days). All because of some ink. This might be why I have been getting more and more tattoos that – in some cases- may be seen as a spontaneous decision. This tattoo I’m gonna talk about now however is far from one of those.  

If you read my previous entry about how Käärijä accidentally validated my gender, you may remember that I mentioned a comfort stim sentence: Are You.

It can be linked back to the Eurovision preshow days where Bojan and Jere were just starting to get to know each other which the two idiots did by fooling around on a date. This saying has not only become a way for the two of them to show endearment (or the fans getting to interact with each other and the boys), but it has also been what finally learned me how to roll my r’s practicing the right cadence alone in my room for the simple fact that saying it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was also one of the things I became known for meeting up with fans irl for the first time between Käärijä’s Stockholm and Berlin gigs last year.

And so it didn’t take me long to daydream about getting it tattooed. Which ended up becoming a whole saga when Joker Out announced that they’d visit Malmö on their upcoming Europe tour (which is basically Denmark) and where I later – with a lot of people cheering me on from the sidelines – got Bojan to write the phrase down to me in two different fonts. To this day the concert is amongst my favourites.

Yet things don’t end there because one comment later about the possibility of getting Jere involved as well and I was off making a new sign. I tried getting Käärijä’s attention in Böle to no avail (other than making myself more stressed than I’d ever been at a concert). So, this summer going to Backas and Allas Sea Pool I had let the sign stay at home. Jokes on me, because suddenly in a rush of bravery I made myself a new sign out of half a pizza lid box left behind in the queue for the Allas Sea Pool gig. Low and behold if not Jere saw and reacted to this sign during the concert!! Getting by with a little help from my friends (especially this one finnish fan I’d met at Backas) I went home from the gig with Jere’s handwriting. A little over a month later on August 13 2024 the Are You tattoo saga concluded when I got a local tattoo artist (I’d already fanboyed too back in March when getting one of those spontaneous tattoos of mine) to make the little three way conversation permanent on my skin.

I have no idea how long the brainrot will continue. Maybe I will stop being this much of a fanboy in a year or two. But even so I don’t think (or at least I hope not) this tattoo will lose its meaning. Because It’s so much more than just a fan tattoo. It’s a story about a time I was foolishly brave no matter if it went well (Malmö) or it didn’t (Böle). It’s a story about the importance of interpersonal connections (the fan in Allas), the power of a found family through a fandom (or two) and also just a time in my life I was actively a participant in pursuing my own happiness.

I’ll say it again: I freaking love tattoos.

[frikatilhi]

sorry to be the bringer of angst/negativity(?) in this here askbox, dont answer if u dont feel like it, but i just wanna let out some strange sadness i feel lately

but am i the only pessimist bojere bitch here? like the reason i ship them hard is because i think what they portray is so beautiful and cute? And that irl them are most likely aight friends at best and a lot of stuff are just exaggerated for the publicity? like i can believe maybe jere really is into the friendship at best but that's abt it?

idk, i've just been disillusioned by a lotta friendship/rpf that are milked to high heaven, only to end up being "for the shippers" and that they dont like each other at all?

all i ask is copium/pep talk that will make me believe somehow that the deep friendship they portray in public/socials mirror what they actually have.

soz for being cringe

:((

Oh no, anon, I understand! This kind of thinking can easily make you feel like you're all alone, because we are supposed to stay positive and firmly in delulu land and ignore the stuff that doesn't fit the narrative.

This got long so snip snip

But for what it's worth, leaving all the shipping stuff aside, I do happen to believe the friendship is very real and just as deep as they portray. If anything, I think Bojan seems to be downplaying it instead of hyping it, keeping it more private instead of posturing on social media. When they talk about each other, they seem very genuine.

I could have bought the argument about exaggarating it for publicity during ESC, I mean, the contestants and especially JO were all out there making friends and creating content and buzz about it, feeding off each other's popularity. I remember thinking that myself - oh, that's cute, what a nice bromance, but I am SO over that kind of narrative, straight friends being huggy for clicks, I want the real thing, I want the happy ending, not settling or falling for anyone's media strategy any more. And it kinda worked, didn't it? 7 points from the Finnish public!

Looking back, a lot of the cute insta stories were staged and purposefully filmed so I can see what you mean. (Also looking back, there are also many moments that were NOT like that, my favourites being the dinner date and everything that happened after the final.)

But then, Tavastia 1.0 happened, and that's when it all shifted for me. You mean Bojan dropped everything and flew to Finland, just to see Jere, just to hang out without an actual agenda (yes, he dropped in on the gig but that wasn't the purpose of the visit)?? And they went to karaoke and watched Twilight and Bojan hung out with Jere's friends when he had a gig out of town?? And it was a month after they had seen each other that they decided to actually keep that promise to visit each other and not let their friendship drop and their connection fade? You mean that actually happened??

And after that we've learned that they talk to each other regularly (like, once a week?) and share values and likes and love together. Bojan has been more quiet about it, sure, but (and now we enter into speculation land) he did seem to be a bit spooked about all the attention, I mean, who wouldn't freak out a little when people start obsessing over your new friendship and following your every move and social media click and write stories about you?

And Nordic Tour was... did you see that? Everything that happened (that we saw)? If it was only for publicity (publicity for what?? At this point, why do they still need it?) it was way too much and most of it totally unnecessary. Those were two people who genuinely enjoy each other's company.

Yes, they live far apart and rarely have time to see each other, but that doesn't mean their connection isn't real and deep and important.

[signoraviolettavalery]

So I was taking a walk, and my discord was messaging me gig vids, and then somebody told me Jere was at the gig like a tour wife, and this just happened, ok.

starts with bojere, but is also bokris aka the start of a poly situation

It's a day before their first Helsinki gig, and Jere had, of course, been excited to hear all their new music. They've always supported each other's new creations, and Bojan is eager to share these ones too - including Bluza. Which Jere loves, but asks about the lyrics of.

"It's about falling in love for the first time," Bojan explains. "You didn't think it could be like in the movies and the songs, but it does, and suddenly the room you're in together is too small for the size of what you feel."

"It's about Kris, no?" Jere asks, and Bojan freezes. He can feel himself flushing, feeling caught, but also kicking himself, because Jere has seen the truth.

"Jere - " he starts.

"Is okei," interrupts. "I know you love me. But I think I am not first love?"

"Yeah," Bojan admits. "He was my first. But Jere, I really do love you. And I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, performing this in front of you. It's not fair to you."

Jere just takes his hand and squeezes it, smiling. "Is okei. I am not jealous," he says. "We are musicians. We write about life experience."

And Bojan feels like the luckiest person in the world. A feeling he absolutely must express with a kiss right now, because what else is he supposed to do when he has such an understanding boyfriend?

Then the gigs happen. They premiere Bluza, and Sta bih ja. They premiere another song, and the 'princess' just slips out of his mouth when addressing Kris. And then they're doing Ona, and it's in his native language, and he always feels the Serbian songs so much more deeply, and he's caught in the high of being onstage, of performing again, and he finds himself kneeling for Kris as he sings up at him.

It's only after the gig that he comes back down to Earth. They meet fans, they congratulate each other, and he gets a warm hug from Jere. "You were brilliant, Jokerman!" But Bojan can tell he has something else to say, and his heart clenches. Did he go to far? What was he thinking, kneeling for Kris in front of jere after the conversation they'd had? He's an inconsiderate boyfriend for sure, and if Jere is mad at him, he'd understand.

But Jere is calm and sweet when they get home that night, and calm and sweet when he says "you still love him."

He doesn't need to specify who.

Bojan sighs. "I do. I'm so sorry, Jere. But i love you too, I really do, I swear. And I'd never cheat on you, I'm not like that, I don't do that."

But Jere is still smiling at him. He doesn't seem to be upset in the least, and it's throwing Bojan off completely. He takes Bojan's hand again, squeezes it.

"I think, is possible to love two people equally," he says. "You love him, and you love me."

Bojan blinks. He hadn't ever dared to articulate it to himself in that way before, but it's true. He adores Jere, and his give-zero-fucks attitude, his laughter, his smile, his confidence. And he adores Kris, and his smile, and the sweetness that hides behind his cold facade, and his intelligence, and his talent on the guitar.

"And," Jere continues. "I think he feel the same way."

At that, Bojan definitely snorts. "He most definitely doesn't."

"I see what you do not see. How he look when you not look at him," Jere says. "Onstage and ... off the stage."

There's excitement bubbling in his chest, but it's stifled by the realization of what Jere is probably getting at.

"So are you...asking me to choose?" Bojan asks, voice trembling. "Him or you?"

"No!" Jere is vehement now. "Like I say before. I am not jealous. I think is possible to love two people the same. And I not know how Kris feel, but if he want, and you want, you can have both. Is okei with me."

Bojan frowns. "You're suggesting I have a relationship with both of you? What, one of you is my boyfriend and the other is my side piece?"

Jere sighs and fixes him with a slight glare. "You always imagine worst, Bojan," he says, in that patient but slightly reproachful tone he uses when he's being very reasonable about Bojan's own hangups. "Is possible that relationship be healthy but uncon- not conventional. I have seen it. I have friends who do this."

Bojan looks down at their hands, where Jere is holding his, and twines their fingers together. His heart is thundering, with love for Jere and excitement and half a dozen other emotions.

"And you'd really be okay with that?" he asks.

"Yes," Jere replies. "You know I am honest. I don't do what I don't want to do, I don't agree to what makes me not comfortable. And," this time, he brings Bojan's hands to his lips. "I want you happy. I trust you love me. I trust it not go away."

Bojan shakes his head, tears in his eyes. "How did I get this lucky?"

Jere grins. "Universe works in mysterious way." Then he adds, "talk to Kris."

......and that's all I have for you folks!

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x06 - Palmon's Angry Evolution! / Togemon in Toy Town

Previously on Digimon Adventure: Deep inside the Factory of Redundancy Factory, our new zapping bug pal bug-zapped the bugs out of Robocop. Also we may not be on Earth anymore, something the American team already knew but they don't get to be smug because they spent twenty minutes panicking about being in an unlocked room.

Now Andromon's guided us into the sewers, which he insists will help us but I'm half-convinced it's just a more civil way of flushing the intruders away like waste.

The kids pass the time in the sewers by playing a singing game I'm not quite familiar with. They're divided into two teams: One team of children and the other team of Digimon. They sing a couple verses then pass to the other team, who has to start their verses on the same sound that the previous team left off on.

Agumon briefly stumps Team Kids by ending on an 'e' sound, though Mimi chimes in with a curious little tune.

Jou: What is that? Mimi: It's Enka! My Dad sang this in karaoke a lot.

But since nobody knows the tune, they can't follow her. Koushiro's able to find one they know, and soon they're back to marching and singing.

The dub doesn't preserve the game, but it keeps the singing. The kids are singing a song Agumon wrote for them. Then Agumon singles out Mimi and asks her to do a solo performance. She sings a verse of Home on the Range off-key.

Mimi: ~Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam! Joe: ~Avoiding your drone! Mimi: Hey, come on! I had singing lessons for three years! T.K.: Oh, you did? Did it help? Izzy: Mimi, you should get a refund, that's what I think. Sora: Then let's sing as a group.

Dub Sora defuses yet another round of Dunking On Mimi by bringing us back to the group song, and the kids march on.

Suddenly, Sora lets out a shriek.

Water dripping on her from the ceiling freaked out her. Another drop lands on her shirt. The dub puts a fruit squish sound effect jere, like you'd hear when a tomato or watermelon or something gets crushed, which doesn't seem like the right sound.

The grossness of the moment sends the kids spiraling, starting with Sora lamenting that she wants to do laundry. This opens up the rest to fantasizing about what they wish they could be doing right now.

Sora: I want to do laundry. Taichi: I want to relax in the bath. Takeru: I.... (pantomimes playing video games) Yamato: Takeru, this isn't the time to be thinking about video games, Ahahaha!

Yamato laughs at Takeru for that, but concerned looks from the rest of the group bring out the sincerity in him.

Yamato: I guess I can't laugh at him. What I want right now is sizzling barbecue. I want to eat until I'm stuffed! Jou: Don't laugh, but I miss studying. I want to do loads of homework! Mimi: That's weird. I want to drink ice-cold Cola! Takeru: Mimi-san, that sounds great! I want that too! Koushiro: I want to send emails back and forth with my friends.

Each of their wishes comes with a fantasy sequence, where we get to see what the kids want most visualized onscreen.

In the dub, Sora skips over wanting to do laundry because of gross sewer water on her clothes and ties the singing into her homesickness instead.

Sora: I used to sing at home. I used to sing to myself all the time when I would do my chores. Especially when I'd hang clothes to dry outside, I'd sing really loud 'cause nobody could hear me then. Agumon: (offscreen) It's okay to miss your home, Sora. What do you miss, Tai?

Which then sets the dub kids down Reminiscence Alley.

Tai: I miss playing sports and then taking a nice hot bath. T.K.: Games. My games. I wasn't far from beating Matt on my video games! Matt: Beating me, T.K.? I don't think so. Maybe in your dreams, kiddo!

This is what Matt laughs about in the dub. Unlike the original, where silent stares from the rest of the group make him feel self-conscious, the conversation just continues on from there.

Agumon: (offscreen) So you don't miss anything from home, Matt? Matt: Well, actually, now that you mention it... I've been dreaming about Sunday, when Mom grilled us steaks! Mmm, makes my mouth water! Joe: I miss doing my homework. If I fall too far behind, I might have to go to a junior college! Mimi: I don't miss school, but I do miss going on vacation! Nothing beats having a cool drink on a summer day at the beach! I just love the ocean air! T.K.: Wowee, that sounds like fun, Mimi! Mimi: It is! Izzy: *angrily* Get a grip! *calmly* I miss accessing satellites to look at the stars and planets.

It's mostly the same, with some added detail to fill dialogue space during the fantasy sequences. Except for Izzy, whose internet activities are questionable and who also snaps at Mimi for no reason. Because being mean to Mimi is everyone's favorite pastime in the dub.

Suddenly, the kids hear a sound. A scuffling sound in the sewer tunnels that sets the Digimon on edge. Gabumon ID's the sound as Numemon.

The Digimon explain that Numemon are weak, disgusting creatures who enjoy dark, slimy places. They're the most loathed Digimon in "Digimon Kai", or the Digimon World - A terminology we have officially begun to use as of this episode, since Koushiro made that discovery back at the factory.

At the Digimon's behest, the kids run for it. Taichi doesn't understand why they're running from weak Digimon, but he gets his answer shortly.

The narrator chimes in to explain. Numemon are Adult-stage Data-type mollusk Digimon who attack with their own droppings. His typically stoic voice falters and he sounds incredibly distressed to have to explain that they throw poop.

Mimi takes over narration for this one in the dub, explaining that they throw "Nume Sludge" and have bad breath. "Nume Sludge" is probably the dub's attempt at plausible deniability. It's not poop if it's Nume Sludge! Even though it's clearly poop and uses stock cartoon poop sound effects.

Running for their sanitary wellbeing, the kids take a side passage and emerge from the sewers.

The Numemon stop following as soon as they see daylight, instead retreating back into the sewers. Agumon explains that Numemon can't stand sunlight, just in case that wasn't clear.

Which it wasn't; Like, they could have been freaking out because we crossed into some really dangerous Digimon's territory or something. So I appreciate the clarification.

Back above ground, the kids get to walking again. In time, they come upon another strange anomaly of the Digimon World.

You know, there are worse things we've run into out here than a metric fuckton of vending machines. Maybe this is where vending machines go to reproduce or something, IDK.

You know what that means, though. You know what they have in vending machines? You know who specifically wanted what they have in vending machines?

Wish granted!

Of course, since the dub changed Mimi's lamentation to wanting to go on vacation rather than wanting an ice-cold Cola, this doesn't connect as well. They're forced to generalize it with a bit of extra dialogue.

Mimi: I bet there's enough snacks to last us a lifetime, at least. Tai: Mimi, they probably don't work. Don't you remember the phone booths? Palmon: Hey, that could be. I bet it's a trick, Mimi! Mimi: I won't accept that!

They don't have to write too far out of their way to make it work, but it's nonetheless a solution to a problem created by earlier writing choices removing points of characterization that later scenes were going to do something with.

As Mimi races to the vending machines, I want to call special attention to this exchange.

Taichi: Mataku... (general expression of annoyance) Sora: It can't be helped. She's still just a kid.

And its English counterpart.

Tai: Mimi! Sora: You can't stop her. She's so stubborn!

Mm.

Mimi descends into the nesting grounds of vending machines and picks out one she licks. Then she inserts a coin. Rather than dispensing cola, however, the front of the machine falls off and nearly crushes her.

Oh, I suddenly regret not being crushed to death. Can I have a do-over?

The Numemon immediately hits on Mimi, but she aggressively shoots him down and calls him a lowlife. Dub Mimi goes even farther, calling him a "short, slimy, sewer-sliding sludge-slinger!"

(Probably a good time to remind everyone that Mimi is 10 years old. So. Y'know. Fuck this guy.)

Mimi's response is so blunt, in fact, that Palmon worries about Mimi upsetting him. However, Mimi points out that the bright sunlight means he can't do shit to th--

Oh. Well.

Fuck.

Numemon Chase, Round Two begins as not only that Numemon attacks, but all of the vending machines open up and pour Numemon out into the plains, who descend upon the kids slinging even more poop.

(A fairly accurate metaphor for being hit on in public. "Why can't women just say no directly?" Because this is what happens when they do.)

Yamato suggests splitting up, and the kids break off individually with their Digimon Partners.

(Surprisingly, Yamato does not try to stay with Takeru; Instead, they go completely opposite directions.)

Palmon tries to fight off the Numemon with her signature move, Poison Ivy. But before she can even attack, the Numemon freak out and flee for their lives. Mimi initially credits this to how cool Palmon is, but the true source of their terror quickly becomes apparent.

The narrator introduces us to Monzaemon, a Perfect-stage Vaccine-type Digimon.

Narrator: Although he looks like a stuffed animal, he's actually a Perfect-stage Digimon. His special attack, Lovely Attack, even makes his enemies happy!

For her part, Dub Mimi's narrative has this to say.

Mimi (V.O.): Monzaemon looked like a cute big ol' teddy bear, but he wasn't very cuddly!

But this is only for our benefit. For her part, Palmon has to explain Monzaemon to Mimi too. He's the Mayor of Toy Town and a lot stronger than he looks. She assures Mimi that he is a good Digimon.

Monzaemon immediately opens fire with eye lasers while rambling out salutations.

Monzaemon: We've been waiting for you, Miss. *fires* Enjoy yourselves! *fires* It's an honor to meet you!

Like Meramon, he just sounds like he's spitting out words senselessly. Dub Monzaemon comes off just slightly more coherent.

Monzaemon: I must say, so pleased to make your acquaintance! *fires* Please, come spend a fun night at Toy Town with me! *fires* Why are you running? Did I startle you? Sorry!

Dub Monzaemon seems at least to some degree cognizant of what's happening around him, but the vibe is about the same.

Forming an unlikely alliance, a Numemon offers Mimi and Palmon shelter from Monzaemon.

As soon as he's passed, Palmon wonders aloud if something's happened to Toy Town. Numemon presses his luck by asking Mimi to go on a date with him at Toy Town. She rejects him immediately, and then she and Palmon crawl out of the trench to go check out what's going on in Toy Town without him.

No sooner do they arrive than they find the rest of the group that split up earlier. The other kids are here in Toy Town, being played with by the toys. Forced to run around and pretend they're having fun. Emotionlessly regurgitating sentiments like "This is fun" or "Banzai" or "I'm so happy", but visibly exhausted.

Their Partner Digimon, on the other hand, are nowhere to be found. Though a bit of poking around quickly reveals what's become of them.

Oh, they're locked in a chest. That was easy. Entering the warehouse, Palmon confirms with Agumon that the rest are in there with him. Agumon then recaps the story of how they got here.

It's exactly what you'd expect. Monzaemon came after each of them, and they were powerless to defend themselves against him.

The bubbly hearts from his Lovely Attack - or Hearts Attack in the dub - scooped up each of the kids and their Digimon, then whisked them away to Toy Town. The Digimon were imprisoned in the chest, and we've seen what became of the kids.

An interesting note: When the kids split up, Yamato and Sora departed off the left side of the screen while Jou, Koushiro, and Takeru left from the right side. Taichi and Mimi went straight down, though they clearly got separated from each other.

However, when Monzaemon attacks, he takes Taichi alone, Sora alone, and then takes Yamato, Jou, Koushiro, and Takeru together. This implies that Yamato realized he fucked up and doubled back for Takeru.

Once he's collected his prizes, he issues his decrees for the fates of his prisoners.

Monzaemon: The Digimon will go in the Toy Box. The children will have their emotions erased and serve as toys for the toys!

Dub Monzaemon has... a bit more confusing of instructions.

Monzaemon: So all of you will now serve us! You're all going into our community Toy Box! Our Toy Box is only filled with children!

...no, the Digimon are in the Toy Box. Also, what do you mean, "Our Toy Box is only filled with children!" That implies that you regularly put children in the Toy Box, but there are no humans in the Digital World outside of our Isekai'd kids.

Absolutely butchered that set of lines.

The Digimon don't know how Mimi and Palmon can get them out of the Toy Box, but they don't want them worrying about it; The other kids being played with to exhaustion are the priority right now. In order to save them, Palmon and Mimi will have to do the impossible and defeat the Perfect-stage Monzaemon.

Leaving the warehouse, Mimi and Palmon talk shop. Palmon doesn't understand what's happening; Lovely Attack is supposed to be a happy move, not to do all of this.

Then the toys find them. A monkey with cymbals starts clapping his cymbals together in Mimi's direction, as if trying to make her play. Mimi stomps on the toy instead.

Just then, Monzaemon arrives, stomping around the corner to greet Mimi.

Mimi lets him have it.

Mimi: Be quiet! I don't know what happened to you but you can't just take away my friends' feelings! Give them back!

His answer is eye lasers.

(On the one hand, it's not fair that everyone else gets Lovely Attack but Mimi keeps getting eye lasers. Man, even both versions of Corrupted Monzaemon are mean to Mimi! But on the other hand, given what we've seen Lovely Attack do to people, it's probably for the best.)

Suddenly, the Numemon swarm appear to fight Monzaemon and defend Mimi.

It does not go well. He stomps and swipes his way through the swarm. Mimi is genuinely touched by the sight of the Numemon.

Mimi: The Numemon are fighting for me... Even though they can't to anything but throw poop....

Dub Mimi doesn't quite convey the same emotional sincerity.

Mimi: Well, Palmon, what can I say? When you've got it, you've got it! ...oh no, I don't think the Nume Sludge is working!

Yeah, not really capturing the touching emotional moment there.

Palmon joins in the fight, attempting to entangle Monzaemon with her signature move, Poison Ivy.

But he's too strong and easily throws her off.

Finally, Monzaemon goes for his Lovely Attack. However, the Numemon form a wall, blocking his hearts from reaching Mimi and Palmon, and getting captured themselves in her place.

Palmon: They're useless and cowardly, but the Numemon are desperately trying to protect Mimi!

Again, the emotional sincerity of this moment gets lost in the dub, where Palmon just shouts a battle cry.

Palmon: Time to take it to the next level! I may be a lady, but I am not a pushover!

The sight of the Numemon sacrificing themselves provides Mimi and Palmon's trigger for evolution. Palmon SHINKAAAAAA!!!

Palmon's evolved form is Togemon, an Adult-stage Data-type Digimon. "Toge" or 棘 is the Japanese word for "thorn"; She's Thornmon. An appropriate name, given both her prickly exterior and her signature move Chiku-Chiku Bang Bang, which the dub calls Needle Spray.

Despite Monzaemon being Perfect-stage, Togemon's able to overpower him in this fight. Showering him in needles, she hits him hard enough to send him hurtling to the ground, and to dislodge the Black Gear from him.

(It helps that she has Type Advantage, as a Data-type against a Vaccine-type.)

With Monzaemon defeated, he unpacks what was going through his head with the kids.

Monzaemon: When people get tired of their toys, they break them readily, without a single thought. I couldn't forgive that. That's why, as Mayor of Toy Town, I wanted to raise the social status of the toys. Mimi: "The social status of the toys"? Jou: I think he means making us realize the importance of toys. Monzaemon: That's right. Toys shouldn't be toyed with, but played with. Taichi: So that's why you made us play with the toys! Monzaemon: I'm sorry. I got carried away with myself.

As the kids watch the Black Gear disintegrate, the sight of it fills in the rest of the explanation for Monzaemon's behavior. They're familiar with this concept by now. Dub Tai remarks, "Y'know, I'm beginning to take this whole Black Gear thing a little personally!" which is a line I really like.

Once he's finished apologizing, Monzaemon offers up his ultimate apology: A true and proper Lovely Attack, bathing the kids in pure concentrated happiness.

Briefly interrupted by one more person, ready and eager to receive his reward.

It was nice of the Numemon to put up a defensive wall against Monzaemon and stuff but, like, nobody asked them to do that. We close on a straight-up riff on romantic entitlement.

(Ten. Years. Old.)

Assessment: As with the other kids, this episode serves as our proper introduction to Mimi's distinctive qualities. Mimi is open, honest, and direct. She wears her heart on her sleeve, speaks her mind, and doesn't think about the consequences of her actions. She knows what she wants and she reaches for it without hesitation. There are both positives and negatives to that way of being, but that's who she is.

Mimi is closely associated with a childlike innocence, which is why hers was the episode that featured something as juvenile as Toy Town. As Sora said, Mimi's still just a kid - even compared to the rest of the group, who are still kids themselves.

So far as the dub goes, some questionable decisions were certainly made. They make extra work for themselves in the sewers when they remove Mimi's desire for Cola, and they butcher a few parts of the third act in Toy Town. Also, of course, a Mimi-centric episode is a perfect time for the dub to bully Mimi some more.

But there's some parts I really liked. Mimi's extended version of her insult to the Numemon is great, and the actress's delivery when she realizes the sun isn't protecting her anymore is perfect. Tai taking personal offense to the Black Gears is also funny, especially given where this arc is going with that.

This episode probably isn't the best of the character introduction episodes. But it is Mimi's episode, and she was my relatable character from when I was her age, so that automatically makes it the best by default. Sorry, I don't make the rules. Take it up with the Fandom Parliament.

[rosetta-j-stone]

So...I wanted this to be a one-shot but I think it might end up being a slow burn after all...

Er, I mean, yes, I absolutely intended this to be Chapter 1 of MANY.

ANYWAY

AU BOJERE FANFIC LET'S MM MM GOOOOOO

If you'd told him five years ago that he'd be living in London, he wouldn't have believed it.

London is for rockstars. Models. Hotshot city boys.

Bojan is none of those things.

But he does love people. And excitement.

So maybe it's not so surprising after all.

...OK, so it's a bit less glamorous than he expected. He's working three jobs and sharing a house with four other guys.

Five, if you count that mate of theirs who's always coming over.

Anyway.

He checks his watch. Plenty of time.

He takes one last drag on his cigarette, savouring it, then lets it fall, still smouldering, to the ground, before shoving his hands deep into his pockets and hurrying back inside.

He'll never get used to the British weather.

****

Jere is nervous. This is definitely the right place. Right? He checks his phone again, like he didn't check it a hundred times on the way here. Yep. Definitely the right place. Probably.

It's just...there's no one here.

He can't be the only student on this course, can he?

He hopes not. He still remembers that summer when he had to retake Swedish. He shudders.

But no...wait...those are definitely footsteps echoing down the corridor.

Phew. He won't be doing this all alone after all.

He turns with a smile to see who his classmate is.

****

There's already someone waiting outside the classroom when Bojan gets there. Either they're really keen, or they live so far out that they've learned, as he has, to allow 2 hours to get anywhere in this city. Or both.

He's about to introduce himself when the student thrusts out his arm, grasps his hand firmly and vigorously shakes it, rather faster than Bojan is used to.

"Hellohelloyoualsohereforlanguageclassyesyes? Nooneelsehereyetbut" - he breaks off from shaking Bojan's hand to dig his phone out of his pocket and check it - "Ithinkweinrightplace"

Bojan grins. Yes, he is also here for the language class.

AKA the worst-paid of his three jobs.

****

Jere is gabbling. He knows he is, he can hear he's talking too fast, but honestly he thinks he's doing pretty well getting any actual words out when he's just been confronted with one of the best-looking men he's ever seen.

And Jere considers himself something of an expert.

This guy should consider himself lucky Jere isn't speaking total gibberish actually.

He leans against the wall, which is 100% so he looks cool and casual and definitely not because he suddenly feels weak at the knees.

"So...you new student like me? Or you do this course already some time?"

The other student stifles a laugh for some reason. Jere frowns. Did he accidentally say something weird? Or is...is this guy laughing at his accent? That's pretty rude of him.

...pretty...him.

OK, he needs to focus.

****

This is what he gets for teaching adults, his sister would say, before asking him for the umpteenth time why on earth he doesn't work with kids, he's a natural, she can put in a good word for him with her friend who's a headteacher, he only has to ask-

He doesn't do it because he's a coward, is what he'd tell her.

He'd say it'd be too much to be surrounded by kids all day every day when he still doesn't have any kids of his own.

He really did think he'd have at least one by now.

Anyway, that's what he'd tell her. If he wasn't a coward.

Besides he doesn't really mind being mistaken for a mature student once in a while.

"Actually," he says, taking a key from his pocket and unlocking the classroom door, "I'm the one giving the classes"

****

Of COURSE he is. No wonder he was trying not to laugh.

Although, in Jere's defence, this guy looks way too young to be anyone's teacher, even if he does have a streak of grey in his hair.

Hmm, distinguished.

Focus, Jere.

You're here to learn, remember.

He sighs and follows his new teacher into the classroom, kicking himself every step of the way. Hopefully the rest of the students will arrive before he can make a bigger fool of himself...

[hxllfires-gifs]

PAIRING. jere pöyhönen x gender neutral!reader

SUMMARY. during the grand final, jere is left sad and frustrated by the results, but he thankfully has his partner of two years by his side to cheer him up.

WORD COUNT. 965

THE RESULTS OF the Eurovision Grand Final wasn’t what most people in the Green Room had expected, Finland coming second rather than winning. Y/N L/N couldn’t help but to feel their heart break when they turned their head to see how their boyfriend was feeling after hearing the information. There was a sadness in Jere’s eyes that they could see, which they didn’t want to. Neither liked to see the other upset or in pain.

They sighed and laced their fingers together as a way to give him some comfort. They could tell that he needed it and wanted to help him in any way possible. He had worked so hard for months and he was hopeful that he’d win since there was so many people cheering him on. For a split second, it felt like that was for nothing.

The younger of the two rubbed their thumb over his knuckles, earning a small squeeze of their hand. The Finn ran his free hand through his hair as he attempted to push down the frustrated feelings blooming in his chest. It was so close yet so far.

Luke had come over to give Jere a hug, seeing that he was saddened by the end result. Y/N thanked him softly before he returned to his spot in the Green Room. Their attention then turned back to their lover, not really listening to Lorine’s performance, instead choosing to comfort the taller male. They did like ‘Tattoo’ but they were rooting for the man they loved more than anything.

Jere was first backstage once everything was over and he disappeared into one of the bathrooms, leaving his partner to wonder where he was at. However, they were aware of his patterns and how his brain worked, so they decided to search for him in the place where they thought he’d be.

Stood in front of the same bathroom, they knocked on the door gently. “My love, please let me in.”

They didn’t care how it looked, only caring about how Jere was doing. They heard some shuffling close to the door which opened up a few seconds later. They were met with Jere’s tear stained face and their eyes softened instantly, their heart seemingly breaking even more. They didn’t see how it couldn’t honestly.

They slipped into the bathroom and was sure to close the door behind them, locking it. Fresh tears fell from the man’s eyes. Y/N hadn’t seen him this sad in such a long time and all they wanted was to make him feel better. He was their cute boyfriend who was the embodiment of a puppy; he was always smiling and laughing and making them feel so much happier. Seeing him crying almost felt wrong.

He was always there for them when they were down so they needed to return the favor. The H/C haired being reached their hand up to wipe away some of his tears, wrapping their other arm slightly around his waist. By now, he was shirtless, having taken off the green jacket that he performed in.

“Did I work so hard for nothing?” His voice was full of emotion, genuinely thinking that question.

Y/N shook their head before responding to the question that they thought was absurd. “No, absolutely not. I know that you are disappointed, as am I, but you did everything right. Your hard work paid off! Even though you didn’t win Eurovision, you won the hearts of so many people.”

Jere went to argue but they didn’t let him, needing to get their feelings out in the open first. They wanted him to think about all that had happened, all the friends he had made. It wasn’t all for nothing and deep down, the dark haired male understood that.

“Jere, I’m so proud of you, as are the friends we’ve made here. I didn’t have to feel the stress of competing and I can’t even imagine how it’s felt, but you always inspire me.” It was true, their boyfriend was their inspiration for quite literally everything. They were amazed by him and how kind he was, how hardworking he was.

He sniffled and calmed himself down. He was quite a sensitive person and sometimes he just had to allow himself to feel anything he needed to, Y/N was aware of this, but they still were there for him no matter what.

“Thanks, angel. I just needed to let out some of these emotions. I feel like I’m starting to be emotionally drained but I am grateful for you being here with me, I love you more than you know.” The Pöyhönen did not know what he would do without them.

The two had been dating for two years now but they still had him wrapped around their finger. They were the best and he wholeheartedly believed that they were the only person for him.

“Of course. You know I’m always here for you. I love you too, bub.” They took their right hand and touched Jere’s chest, close to where his tattoo was. The touch was given to further calm him and ground him.

“I’m okay,” he stated.

They only let him go wash his face once they were sure. Once he was done, the two were ready to join everyone again. Y/N was sure that they were all wondering where the two went.

“You ready to see everyone?” Their question was genuine since they didn’t want him to do anything he was uncomfortable with.

When he nodded, the L/N opened the door and the two walked out, wandering off to find their friends. Jere grabbed something to drink whilst Y/N talked with Alika. Everyone spent the rest of their time at the venue, cheering up the Finn further and messing around, wanting to cherish these moments.

[mitamicah]

.

[sarah-cam]

This is the same anon that just messaged about Jeremiah/Conrad! I forgot to add sort of in the analysis Jelly/Bonrad and why you think one is "better" analysis-wise or even personal-preference-wise 😊

alright i’m going to start this with just my personal preference and then get into an analytical side. a lot of my opinions on the ships revolve around my opinions of conrad vs jeremiah, because a lot of the reasons i don't like jere have to do with jelly (that post is here)

again, i want to start this by saying that if you ship jelly that’s awesome for you but to be blunt lbr y’all are delulu if you genuinely believe that bonrad won’t be endgame 😂

jenny han spent several years and three books building the relationship between belly and conrad, and now two seasons of a show where not only are belly and conrad ALWAYS the underlying relationship, but conrad is imo clearly the lead male over jeremiah. he continuously has storylines outside of his relationship with belly, vs jere's focus pretty much only revolving around that so far. she’s not going to change the endgame… she’s just not 🤷🏻‍♀️

first things first — i don’t choose the ship, the ships choose me 🙏🏼 it’s pretty simple and probably is for a lot of people, i just get all the tingly feelings and that’s that

from that first slow motion walk up, the chemistry was CHEM👏🏼IS👏🏼TRY👏🏼ING👏🏼!!! lola and chris have such amazing chemistry in every single scene, even when they don’t even say anything, and that chemistry is romantic straight from that very first scene

and i will admit, lola and gavin have good chemistry too!! (lola honestly has such great, unique chemistry with every other actor) even though i have my issues with it, the scene between belly and jeremiah on the side of the road DID hit me in the feels. the issue for me though is that the vibes i get are just not romantic in the same way as it is with conrad, its bestie vibes. at the very least, they start the show with bestie vibes and romantic vibes "develop". it just feels forced in a way, especially since belly and conrad is just always there.

i should be able to see it - you shouldn't have to tell me. most notably, when trusky goes on that weird rant about their "vibes" when they were literally just standing next to each other, worrying about conrad, and jere was rolling his eyes about conrad being depressed over belly. they constantly talk about their "ESP" but when it comes time to show how well he knows her, it's not even just that he doesn't know her favorite candy is sour patch kids - he literally doesn't know that she hates swedish fish

taking some points from my conrad/jeremiah analysis, i don't like the way jeremiah is manipulative and constantly makes belly feel guilty for being happy or simply just existing next to conrad. rolling his eyes when she seems a little jealous of sophie and when she has a little smile when she learns conrad was staring at pictures of her, constantly eyeing them when belly worries about conrad in "love fool", interrupts them with an angry look when they talk in the store in "love fest", brings her up in his fight with conrad also in "love fest", keeps giving nasty looks in "love triangle" when conrad gives her his sweatshirt, the stuff with the candy, and when their hands BARELY touch at the motel. in that same lane, i just feel like he invalidates her feelings a lot, shames her for loving conrad, and dismisses/shuts her down when she tries to talk about it (which was funny when lola said in an interview that jere made belly feel more heard 😂 she's fighting for her life out there)

the episode with his narration was PAINFUL. i'm sorry but he gave off the biggest incel vibes. everything he said revolved around hating on conrad or victimizing himself, like "doesn't she know i would treat her so much better?? doesn't she know how much i want to be sitting next to her?? conrad had no right to date her after ignoring her for years." IT WAS GROSS. and also, not true. jere said himself that he started liking her after she 'turned pretty' which... i don't even believe. he only started liking her after he saw her almost kiss conrad. he is supportive of cam cameron and encourages their relationship. he's only jealous of conrad.

to conrad, this isn't a competition or a game. and if it was, he would voluntarily lose if it meant belly would be happy.

and in case you were still doubting the iconic soulmatism that only occurs in the ultimate endgames - here ya go!!

tropes: i found an amazing list laid out here and picked out some of the best ones

all girls want bad boys

anguished declaration of love (more so the 3rd book so it hasn't happened yet)

childhood friends/best friends to lovers (yes because conrad is ALSO her best friend)

childhood crush

everyone can see it

first love/first guy wins

i want my beloved to be happy

settle for sibling

single-target sexuality (conrad only ever loves belly and lbr she only ever truly loves him)

unrequited/secretly-requited love

music: like... come on... it's pretty clear (and before you bring up delicate, don't: "this ain't for the best" "we can't make any promises")

lover, "can we always be this close forever and ever?"

the way i loved you, "and i never knew i could feel that much"

this love, "these hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me"

false god, "we'd still worship this love"

august, "for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all"

back to december, "it turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you"

last kiss, "i never thought we'd have a last kiss"

invisible string, "all along there was some invisible string tying you to me"

sweet nothing, "i find myself running home to your sweet nothings"

snow on the beach, "time can't stop me quite like you did"

exile, "we always walked a very thin line"

when the party's over, "i've learned to lose you, can't afford to"

drivers license, "how could i ever love someone else?

deja vu, "she thinks it's special but it's all reused"

never really over, "just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over"

steal my girl, "we want the same things we dream the same dreams"

i'm kissing you, "but watching stars without you my soul cried"

little things:

conrad was the only one growing up that ever included her

they have their own handshake in the volleyball game (vs belly teaching jere her and taylor’s)

he gets her meaningful presents (junior mint, glass unicorn, infinity necklace, bouquet of candy)

he always knows and gets her favorite things (muffins, candy)

they call each other all the time

he gives her his sweaters even when she says she's not cold, because he knows she doesn't mind the cold but likes being cozy

pictures of the two of them are constantly showed (belly's phone, her room, the polaroid)

conrad is the leader but they also look to belly as a leader too (deciding to throw the party, boardwalk, team belly/team conrad)

conrad cheers for steven to fight milo but breaks it up as soon as belly tells him to

always worrying about each other (conrad jumps in to defend laurel from adam when belly gets upset, she always looks to him first when something bad happens)

he can tell that she's awake in the motel because she isn't snoring

they have the same dream of the future (coming back to cousins)

and most of all, susannah, laurel, AND steven ship it 👑

parallels:

first off, the flashbacks typically mirror what's going on in present day and almost every flashback is of something important with conrad

the pool scenes with belly swimming while conrad has his feet in

she dreams of him kissing her in the beginning of s2 in the same way he kisses her when they are in front of the fireplace

they continuously have important scenes on the beach

he picks her up the same way the last time they were on the beach as a couple and the first time since their breakup

her wearing his cousins rowing shirt and then still having it, wearing his sweater/sweatshirt, wearing his t-shirt even when broken up

she brings up how he helped her with trig during 'shoot your shot'

he always plays with her hair/brushes it from her face

the infinity necklace and junior mint always being there

constant parallels to staylor (i made a post about them here), jenny has literally said that steven is taylor's conrad

quotes:

conrad - "i'm glad that it was me" "i do want you" "you're it for me" "my chest physically hurts to not be able to tell her that i'm in love with her" "i don't think i could ever get over you" "[you're cold-hearted] for everyone else maybe, not for you"

belly - "you were great" "being with you is all i'ver ever wanted" "i want it to be with you" "there's only you, there's only ever been you" "i was in love, steven, like, out of my mind in love" "he made it so hard not to love him" "i loved conrad longer and truer than anyone in my whole life" "i'll probably never love anyone like that again" "i would've fought for you" "i don't regret any of the times we were together"

laurel - "for belly, conrad is the sun, and when the sun comes out, the stars disappear", saying that a cozy campfire (jeremiah) is not enough compared to fireworks (conrad)

steven - "conrad's her soulmate"

susannah - "i knew it" "take care of him", the letters she's writing in her last scene

foreshadowing:

most obviously, infinity - like it's pretty hard to argue with. also, when conrad explains infinity he compares it to a racetrack, and at the boardwalk him and belly cross the finish line of the racetrack together

dancing - all of the times belly dances, it's with conrad. the deb ball dance especially foreshadows a first dance at a wedding

venus - it is an evening star before it disappears, and then it returns as a morning star. conrad disappears from her life before returning

belly flops - conrad is always holding her under the arms, by her heart

rollerblades - belly talks about her feelings for conrad being tucked away like her rollerblades, which came out of storage in s2

staylor - belly and taylor's conversation about forgetting first loves and then taylor immediately ignoring that and getting with steven... she's so real

deja vu - belly constantly sees things that remind her of conrad, especially when she is with jeremiah. the song literally plays while she's in the car with him. like again... "it's all reused" 😂

names- isabel susannah conklin and conrad beck fisher... talk about fate amirite

lighting - the motel scene... enough said

[landos-meat-rider]

1999, part four - final part!

oh my gosh. final part and what a surprise, she's a long one again💀💀ive loved writing this silly little series so so much and i love all of you very very much🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽please give me requests on what to write next bc my mind is completely blank rn, all i can think of is the cold war and bolsheviks from my history revison and i dont think they would make v good fics🤡🤡

lmk what you think of this part and your fav moments, enjoy!!

warnings: tiny angst, mostly fluff, swearing

conrad fisher masterlist

masterlist

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conrad’s pov

Since Y/n is unable to hold a phone herself, I'm tasked with a lot, but I didn't fully realize the worry of her family until she had me working through each task with her.

No wonder she’s overwhelmed. The number of texts from Laurel, Mom, Belly, Jere and Steven she has to sift through in a given hour would drive anyone insane.

Or maybe I'm just going crazy by sitting this close to her. The smell of her coconut soap is permanently ingrained into my memory as she sits flush against me, pointing at different texts with her uninjured hand.

I can tell her nerves grow stronger as the Uber near the hospital.

Her knees bounce up and down as she dictates message after message I need to send, confusing me more and more with every word.

The work doesn't stop there. After we check in, a nurse hands us a clipboard filled with pages of information that need to be filled out. Y/n stares at it like it might catch on fire at any moment.

"Here." I pass it to her.

Her eyes shift toward the exit. "Will you help me please? I can't write like this." Her voice drops to a barely audible whisper.

"Okay. Tell me your answers and I'll write them down."

Her throat bobs as she scans the first line. It takes her far longer than necessary to read the first question.

"Do you mind reading the questions aloud for me? I'm too stressed to concentrate right now." Her overcompensating smile irritates me.

"Are you sure? Some of the questions are probably personal."

Don't be a dick. Just do what she says.

"I don't care.”

The rigid way she sits in her chair says the complete opposite.

She seems to be one minute away from breaking down, so I concede. I sigh as I grab the pen and get started on the first question. The paperwork doesn't take us as long as I anticipated, so Y/n and I sit together in silence. She stares at the exit longingly.

The way her eyes dart around the room as she gnaws on her bottom lip makes me feel merciful enough to save her from the anxiety eating her up inside.

“If it's any consolation, I hate hospitals too."

Her head swings toward the direction of my voice.

"Yeah?"

I nod. "Haven't been to one since…"

"I know." she says as she sees my chest heaves as I remember the millions of times we’ve been here before.

I keep my eyes focused on the soundless television playing in one corner.

Her good hand clasps onto mine and gives it a squeeze. I'm grateful she understands me enough not to ask any other questions. The idea of offering another raw part of myself feels like a betrayal of the years I've spent carefully developing a certain kind of persona.

"I hate them too." Her voice cracks.

"Why?"

She stares down at her swollen hand. “My dad…” She pauses, and I give her hand a reassuring squeeze like she gave me. "Let's just say mom ended up in the ER a couple of times for being clumsy."

I take a deep breath to stave off the anger bubbling beneath the surface. "And did you have issues with being clumsy?" If she says yes, I swear to God two men will end up floating in the Chicago River tonight.

She shakes her head rather aggressively. "No. No." My rapid heart rate can be heard through my ears. "If you were, you can tell me." While I can't promise I won't do anything about it, I can promise to make him hurt. A lot. With sulfuric acid or something, those pre-med studies are starting to come in handy now.

The overwhelming sense of protectiveness hits me hard, and I don't shy away from it. There is nothing I hate more than men who use their fists against innocent women and children.

"It never got to that point. Suze made sure of it." she says with a small smile.

"How?"

"She caught onto the signs and interfered before things got bad. Used her savings from my grandpa's life insurance policy to help Mom get a divorce and start a new life." A tear slips down her face, and I can't stand the sight of it.

I brush it away with the pad of my thumb, but the damp trail still lingers. A driving force inside of me wants to erase the sad look on her face. "Did her plan also happen to include a jug of sulfuric acid?"

She forces out a laugh. "I think concrete shoes were more in style back then."

I fake shudder. "Remind me to never make mom angry again."

"Forget her, you'd have to deal with me." She holds up her injured hand like a war trophy.

"I'm absolutely terrified."

"Miss Y/n?" a nurse calls out.

Y/n doesn't move at the sound of her name.

"That's you." I place my hand on her thigh and give it a squeeze.

She sucks in a deep breath as she stares down at my hand.

Her chair nearly tumbles behind her as she bolts out of the seat, throwing her one good hand up in the air. "I'm here!"

The nurse leads us through the emergency room bay.

Individual beds line the wall, each area divided by a paper curtain.

The empty bed meant for Y/n is unacceptable. Between the person retching behind one partition and the individual on the other side hacking up their lung, I refuse to let her be seen here.

"I'd like my…my friend, to be taken care of in a private suite," I speak up. I know I sound snotty right now but honestly, I’ll be damned if I let her already horrible hospital experience get any worse.

The nurse grimaces as her gaze licks across my body. "This is a hospital. Not the Ritz. Take a seat and wait for the doctor like everyone else."

Y/n hops on the bed without any complaint, and I'm tempted to grab her and go elsewhere. The nurse doesn't seem the least bit bothered by all the noise happening around us as she checks Y/n’s vitals and asks some routine questions.

Y/n answers each one while chewing her bottom lip raw. This atmosphere couldn't put anyone at ease, least of all her.

The nurse hangs the clipboard at the foot of the bed, and I decide to try again.

"I'll pay whatever it takes to have her seen somewhere quieter. Money is no object."

The nurse only replies by shutting the paper curtain in my face.

Y/n laughs while I stare at the curtain, dumbfounded to be treated like this.

"You find this funny?"

She nods, her eyes alight for the first time all night. "Did you see her face when you said money is no object? I think if she didn't put the clipboard away, she would have slapped your face with it."

"It's not my fault she isn't accustomed to how things are done in the real world."

"Wake up baby. You're living in the real world." She waves around our room.

"It's terrifying." I say, looking away so she couldn’t see the blush that appeared on my face at the nickname.

"Come here. I'II make it better." Y/n pats the bed.

Doubtful, but I'm a glutton for giving her what she wants lately. Paper crinkles as I sit next to her. I take up most of the bed, giving her little room to get away from me. My thigh brushes against hers. She tries to scoot away, but there isn't enough space.

“Isn’t this cozy?" she quips.

I give her a small smile before she asks, “Hey! Let me see your tattoo.”

God I’d forgotten all about them. I move the collar of my shirt to show the two small ivy leaves we’d gotten. She gasps and gently touches my skin, “Oh my gosh it’s so pretty Connie.” she stares at it for a moment before I ask to see hers.

She lifts up her shirt on the side, exposing her ribcage and the two matching leaves.

“I can’t believe you agreed to get a Taylor Swift referenced tattoo with me Con.” she says as I admire the tattoo for a bit.

I smile until saying, “Hey I might be quiet and mopey but at least I have good taste in music.”

She softly smiles at me before eyeing the IV bag with horror before checking out the exit.

"What’s wrong?”

She leans closer to me and whispers, "Is now a bad time to admit I pass out whenever someone tries to stick a needle in me?"

My lips lift at the corners. I don't know why I find the idea hilarious, given her ability to watch eight consecutive hours of true crime documentaries without so much as flinching.

"You're afraid of needles?"

She sputters. "No. I'm not afraid. It just happens to be a bodily reaction I can't control."

“That's good then because the nurse needs to set you up with that IV when she comes back."

“No! Don't tell me that! I thought she was one of the good ones.”

I nod, pressing my lips together to prevent myself from laughing.

"She lied to me!" She bolts from the seat and would have tripped over her own heels if I didn't reach out and catch her.

*Careful." I place her back on the bed and decide to stand guard in case she gets any ideas to flee the scene.

Her eyes fit from me to the gap between two curtains, as if she is thinking how she can get past me.

"I'm joking.”

She scans my face for the truth before she slaps my shoulder with her good hand. "Asshole! I believed you!"

Laughter explodes out of me like a bomb, stunning her.

“Did you just laugh?”

"No."

“Yes." Someone calls out from the other side of the curtain.

“Now, do you mind shutting up? Some of us are trying to get some sleep over here after having our stomach pumped."

Fuck this place and the people in here. "We're leaving."

"Not so fast. You can't leave before I check you out." The doctor strolls in and points at the bed with his clipboard.

Y/n remains tight-lipped as the doctor checks her chart. He asks her some questions about how she got hurt, all while staring me up and down like I'm the person she was trying to injure. She is taken away for a few scans, and my breathing doesn't return to normal until the nurse brings her back.

That should be my first sign that things are getting out of hand on my end. I'm inching closer to an emotional minefield without any kind of map, only one wrong step away from exploding.

The doctor checks the scans. "It looks like you have a boxer's fracture."

Her face brightens. "That sounds badass."

I glare at her. "Calm down, Muhammad Ali. I wouldn't count today as a victory by any means."

The doctor's eyes lighten. "Next time, avoid any initial contact on the fourth and fifth knuckles."

"Please don't encourage her."

The doctor shakes his head with a laugh before giving Y/n a detailed set of instructions regarding the healing time. I'm skeptical about the whole visit and, given the setting, doubtful about the level of care. I'll be damned if Y/n sustains permanent injuries because of Dean. My chest tightens at the idea.

“Great Thanks, Doc!" She hops off the bed, but I hold my arm out, stopping her

"I’d like a second opinion." The command bursts out of me without any rhyme or reason. Deep down, I know a boxer's fracture isn't the worst thing that could have happened. But things aren't right in my head where Y/n is concerned. At least not anymore.

Both of the doctor's eyebrows arch. "For a small fracture?"

"Don't mind him. He tends to be a bit overbearing." She shoots me a look as if I'm the crazy one out of the two of us.

"Okay..." the doctor says.

Maybe I am losing it because why else would I care?

You hate it when she cries.

You wouldn't mind murdering someone who hurt her.

You took her to the hospital even though you despise them with every fibre of your being.

The signs all point to one thing: our situation is quickly crumbling, and I'm the only one to blame.

Y/n interrupts my thoughts. "I'll be sure to wear the brace for a few weeks and avoid any kind of activities that could aggravate the injury."

"Perfect. And don't forget to schedule a follow-up visit with your physician. "The doctor gives me one last look before handing Y/n the discharge paperwork. "Nice meeting you."

"Will you help me with this?" She holds out the clipboard with her left hand as the doctor leaves.

I grab it from her and fill it out.

She checks the time on her phone. "Well, at least that didn't take as long as I thought it would. I'm sure you're dying to get back home."

That's the scary thing. I didn't think about anything or anyone once during our entire time here because making sure she was taken care of was my only concern. I've spent the past seventeen years of my life thinking solely about my future, and all it took was one girl to make me completely forget about my responsibilities for a few hours.

As if that doesn't scare me enough, it only takes one glance at her makeshift brace to make my blood burn hot under my skin. I know exactly why her injury angers me more than anything else.

It's the same reason I feel the urge to push Jere away from her whenever he gets too close or the way I unexplainably need to see her whenever she is out of my sight for longer than a few hours.

You’re in love with her.

Fuck.

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y/n’s pov

We’re in an Uber on the way home, sitting in comfortable silence until Conrad breaks it.

“Why’d you get with Dean anyway?” My stomach doubles over.

Comfortable silence is so overrated.

I sigh. I’ve been dreading this question for ages now.

“I don’t know.” I answer vaguely.

Conrad gives me a puzzled look, “What do you mean you don't know? You must’ve had a reason.”

His restlessness gets me more agitated.

“I don’t know Conrad. I don’t know why I got with him, I don’t know why I was waiting on you for so long either.” I look out the window as the car stops in front of the house.

“What? What do you mean?” he says as I get out the car and speed up to the front door, taking the keys out of my pocket and refusing to carry on with this conversation anymore.

Conrad keeps yelling after me as he follows me upstairs to my room, both of us trying to ignore everyone else who joined Conrad and are trying to ask their own questions.

I slam my door shut and collapse on my bed hearing Conrad trying to calm everyone down and telling them everything that's happened until he asks them all to give me some space for now.

I cry in the silence as I hear everyone leaving from outside the door until it opens.

“Hey.”

Steven. Thank God.

“Steve…” I say sniffling.

He looks at me with a sad smile before sitting on the bed with me and taking me in his arms.

“Con told us everything,” he says after a few minutes of holding me, “did you really get a boxer's fracture?”

I laugh in tears before showing him my hand and saying, “You should see the other guy.”

Steven and I laugh together before going back to the silence as he hugs me.

“He really cares about you, you know.”

“No he doesn’t. He hates me. I yelled at him and now I’m crying here on my bed like an idiot.”

“Did he say anything to you?” Steven looks down at me.

I shake my head before saying, “He asked why I got with Dean.”

“Oh. That’s not too bad.”

“No it’s not.”

“Then why are you so upset?”

“Because I’ve been waiting for Conrad for so long and I’m just sick and tired of always being there to help him get over his breakups when he’d be so much better off with me. I know I sound selfish and none of my reasons are justified but I just thought that after everything we’ve been through together, he’d maybe like me just a little bit.”

Steven hugs me again and softly says, “He does.”

After that almost everyone but Conrad came in to check up on me and make sure I was okay, making me feel even more guilty about being all emotional like this. It’s not until Susannah’s holding me and whispering sweet nothings that my eyes start to feel heavy.

I think I fell asleep after that, I don’t remember much except waking up to the sun shining its very unwelcome face in my eyes.

I step out of my room after freshening up and I’m about to make my way to the kitchen for food until I’m stopped by something in the hallway.

Or should I say someone.

“Conrad,” I bend down and stroke his hair out of his face, “Conrad wake up.” I say gently.

He stirs for a minute before sitting up and taking my hands in his.

“Have you been out here all night?” I ask.

“Yes.” he says in a raspy voice.

God that voice would make my knees give out if I wasn’t already on the floor with him.

“Why?”

“I need to talk to you.”

I sigh before he interrupts me, “Listen, I heard everything you said to Steven last night and I know I shouldn’t have and I was eavesdropping but I’m sorry it was by accident. And I know I don’t deserve any more of your time…I’ve already wasted a lot of it but just hear me out for ten minutes.”

“No.” I try to get out of his grasp.

“Stop fighting and give me ten minutes.”

“No way.”

“Nine then.”

“Five.”

“Eight and a half.”

“Six.”

“Seven.”

I pause, knowing that he won’t let me go anywhere before I hear him out.

“You don’t deserve seven seconds, let alone seven minutes of my time.”

“How about seven words then?”

I laugh. “I’d like to see you try.”

“I am falling in love with you.”

I blink up at him. Either I am still sleeping or I must have not heard him correctly because there is no way Conrad Fisher just admitted that he is falling in love with me.

Absolutely no fucking way.

Right?

I squeeze my eyes shut as if that can erase the words from my memory.

"You're joking.

"I'm not."

"This is just another part of your game." I try to push him away, but he doesn't budge.

"It stopped being a game for me a long time ago."

"You're lying."

His brows pull together. "Ask me why I hate when people touch my bookshelf."

"Are you serious right now? What does that have to do with any of this?" I think back to his bookshelf he won’t let any of the others go near but loves to let me organise and re-organise each year.

"Because I did it for you."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I read somewhere online that organising objects like books and things is good for people with anxiety, because then they can feel in control of something and know exactly what to expect especially if things are the same as they've predicted all the time. You love reading too, so I changed it. Bought all the books you like to read so that you’d stay and read with me more often. I forced everyone else out of my room and especially away from that bookshelf. All because I wanted to help you."

Emotions clog my throat, preventing my ability to reply.

What can I possibly say that could compare to that?

Conrad doesn't give me an option as he continues. "Want to know why I kept this plant you got me?" he says pointing to the small green cactus with “Don’t be a prick” written on the pot that we could see looking into his room from the hallway.

I nod.

"Because it was the first time someone got me a present that made me laugh."

If hearts could melt into puddles, mine would be liquified right about now.

I take a deep breath.

Remember what he did.

“Con that doesn't change anything you still ignored me for a whole year. Every time I tried to call you or text you, you’d just leave me on read or decline, and now you’re telling me you love me? Who does that?"

"Someone who doesn't understand the first thing about loving someone, but is willing to try if you give me a chance."

"You want me to give you a chance after everything? Do you think I'm stupid?"

He winces, and a bit of my anger fades away at his vulnerability.

"Intelligence has nothing to do with this."

"Easy for you to say when you're not the one who feels like a fool."

"Really? Because based on your reaction today, I'm feeling pretty damn foolish for ever admitting that I'm falling in love with you." He gets up off the floor, leaving me feeling chilled to the bone.

"Con..." I reach out, but he takes a step back.

My eyes sting from his rejection. It hurts.

“I’m not asking you to love me back. I don't expect that and I'm not sure if I ever will because I'm the furthest thing for lovable. I'm selfish, and rude, and don't know the first thing about being in a proper relationship with someone. But that doesn't mean I’m not willing to try for you if you let me."

How am I supposed to be angry at him when he thinks he is unlovable?

A pain rips through my chest at the thought of him talking about himself this way.

I get up off the floor and walk straight into his chest. His arms quickly wrap themselves around my waist, holding me even tighter.

"Just because you make selfish choices doesn't mean you're a selfish person. At least not completely."

This boy had been there for Belly, Steven, me and Jere for years without any kind of payback, especially when Susannah was going through her cancer and despite feeling an immense amount of pain himself, he shoved all his emotions aside so that he could be there for us. For me. If that isn't a selfless sacrifice, I don't know what is.

"Your logic is half-baked at best."

"So is yours, seeing as you called yourself unlovable."

His body tenses. "I'm stating facts."

"I don't know what bullshit your father told you over the years, but it's not true. Your brother loves you."

"He’s obligated to."

"No one is obligated to love someone else. Blood or not."

He takes a deep breath. "You're right."

I smile up at him. "I could get used to hearing those words."

He reaches up and cups my cheek. "Give me a chance and I'll tell you them every single day."

I sigh and look away. "I don't know.”

"Tell me what's stopping you."

"You don't do relationships."

“Good thing our feelings lead us here rather than our minds, and mine are willing to try then."

I avoid his penetrating gaze. "What if my feelings are telling me to run?”

“It's cute you think you can outrun me, but I'll give you a head start just to make things interesting." he smiles down at me.

"Do you always have an answer for everything?"

"Not for the one that matters most." The way he looks at me stirs up something deep inside of me.

Longing. I want to give him a chance, regardless of the potential fallout.

You might get hurt.

I might, but I might miss out on something special because I’m too afraid of the what ifs. I'm done being that person. Even if it means getting hurt, I'd rather try and fail than never try at all.

I stand on the tips of my toes and press my lips against his.

He holds me tight against his chest, as if he is afraid of letting me go.

I pull away, only to clasp onto his chin. "This could be a disaster, but I'm willing to try."

He shuts me up by pushing his lips against mine, sealing our new deal. The way he kisses me is different than any time before. He cups my face with the palms of his hands as his lips mold against mine, teasing me until I feel dizzy. His thumb brushes across my cheek back and forth, and heat rushes down my spine straight to my belly. He makes me feel cherished. Protected.

Loved in a way that makes me never want to come back down to reality.

I could spend forever being kissed like this and still feel like it isn't enough. While Conrad might not be the best with words, his kiss says it all.

He is falling in love with me. And I’m falling in love with him. No translation necessary.

                ༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝༝ ˚ ｡⋆ 𓇼 ⋆｡ ˚ ༝

ahh i cant believe its finished omg😔💔...

anyways, onto the next one😍🙏

again please lmk what you think of this and please give me requests on what to do next!!

[sweetstars-posts]

✶ don’t be a loser!!

tsitp x young!fisher!reader

·˚ ༘ ༉‧

(fem reader)

summary — Y/n Fisher and her best friend Scooty show their new friend, Jancey, around Cousins Beach.

It was safe to say that summer was dear to all of the Fishers and Conklins. The summer house was something they all looked forward to.

Even though y/n was only 7 years old, the young girl had a pure blissful connection to the beach house.

She even had very close friend at Cousins, Scooty. They did everything together. They got ice cream, went on walks, annoyed their siblings, and they still never got bored of the magic of Cousins.

Recently, Y/n and Scooty befriended a young redheaded girl named Jancey. They all already knew that they would become super close.

Now that Belly was being a debutante, Steven and Jere were working summer jobs, and Conrad was off with his fling, Nicole, Y/n didn’t have much to do.

Scooty and Y/n decide to go take Jancey on a tour of cousins.

Their tiny feet smacked against the concrete ground, the waves crashed in the distance, and soft giggles escaped the young kids’ throats.

Jancey lived further away from Scooty and Y/n. Jancey lived in one of the complexes a couple of blocks down.

The two kids finally reached Jancey’s house, rapidly knocking the teal coloured door.

Jancey’s grandmother who takes care of her opened the door, “What do you kids want?”.

“We want to play!!” Y/n spoke with a playful tone in her small voice.

“What kind of game?”

“Just a game!!” Scooty said throwing his arms up in the air, exaggerating.

“You want to play Jance?” Jancey’s grandmother asked Jancey.

One happy nod from Jancey led them all outside. They all walked side by side. They sang, they danced, and the most importantly had fun.

They now started to approach the country club where Steven and Jere work at. Because of Steven working at the small food bar, Y/n and Scooty would always go there to get free ice cream.

Turns out they have gone way too much in the past week of them being there.

But did that stop them?

No

They still ran up to the snack bar giddily. Looking over the ledge of the bar, the kids sat on top of the large chairs and rang the bell over and over until Steven turned around.

“Again? Seriously?” He sighed, but nonetheless gave them one vanilla ice cream, “Don’t tell anyone okay?!”

They all took turns taking licks and bites out of the vanilla ice cream cone.

They just kept walking, showing Jancey everything about cousins.

They now arrived at the big gift shop. Scooty and Y/n always loved coming down here.

“Don’t you think we’re going too far?” Jancey’s soft voice spoke from behind the two others.

“No, just come on. Don’t be a — don’t be a loser!!” Y/n’s said while running with Scooty.

“Don’t call me that but okay!”

Scooty and Y/n spent a couple of hours showing Jancey around cousins and all of their favourite hang out spots.

They were all now headed back home. They first headed to Jancey’s house.

“Goodbye Jancey!!” Scooty and Y/n exclaimed as Jancey walked through her house doors.

Scooty and Y/n started to make their way back home. They were neighbours, that’s why they were best friends.

After saying bye to Scooty, Y/n made her way inside her house.

Upon walking inside the living room, she saw her oldest brother, Conrad, sitting on the couch.

“Hey, Y/n” Conrad spoke softly, walking towards her a picking her up, “What did you do today?”

Y/n explained everything word for word on what the trio did that day. Conrad just sat and watched with a small smile on his face.

But he knew that this was only temporary.

[stilldancewithyou]

No cause THEY REALLY MADE BELLY THE CHEATER ALREADY 😩 I assumed she would’ve broken up with Jere before the last scene of s1 but they made her convo with Jere after that last scene according to the new clip… just insane if JH doesn’t use the cheating plot on J in s3 but made belly a cheater that’s just so nasty to treat your female lead like that in favor of the man 🙄

Yeah I don't like ANYTHING about that Jeremiah/Belly clip. Idk if this is a hot take or not but I don't think anybody cheated in season 1. To me, what happened wasn't cheating at all all. Unless I missed something huge, she and Jeremiah were never actually dating. She's actually just being respectful and doing the mature thing by having a conversation with him about her and Conrad now that she knows that's what she wants. She didn't actually owe Jere anything, but the fact that she tried to be mature and explain it Jere and you can feel how bad she feels for hurting him and he acts like THAT? wtf dude. They kissed twice, talked about their feelings for each other and she went to the ball with him but they never said they were being exclusive with each other. I mean seriously, Cam Cameron was so sweet when Belly broke up with him, he just told her she deserved to be happy and they had something closer to an exclusive dating relationship. Also I'm pretty sure the timeline here, from when they kissed in the pool to the deb ball is maybe a week, maybe just a matter of days. Also, yeah, you were 100% the placeholder for Conrad (and you will be again!) because YOU threw yourself in the middle of it instead of letting them be. It's hard to feel bad for Jere because he openly admits like 187976354 times that he knows Belly has always loved Conrad and it's inevitable and he knows Conrad also loves Belly. I mean...Jere what exactly did you think was gonna happen sweetheart? Why are you acting so surprised? She's been in love with this man her whole life and just found out it was never unrequited. She was always going to choose him.

I just do not like the way Jeremiah talked to her in that scene AT ALL. I feel a little bad for him because I know how shitty it must feel to be trying to come to terms with the fact that your mother is probably dying and then the girl you liked wants your brother all in the same day but would he rather have had her not tell him and just ride off into the sunset with Conrad??? Bc that's the vibe I was getting. And then that line about "my mom has cancer!" are you kidding me??? You're really gonna guilt trip her right now? Also Conrad's mom has cancer too so...is Belly also supposed to abandon him? Does he not deserve love and support but Jere does? That line in the trailer where he tells Belly he's mad at her for being there for Conrad but not him and I get it believe me I do but also was she supposed to not be there for Conrad??? I'm confused what his expectations of her are.

I fully believe we are 100% getting the Jeremiah cheating storyline. The books are being followed so closely right now I don't see why they wouldn't be heading towards that. Also all the subtle hints and foreshadowing that has happened so far...the wedding chaos is happening. It has to happen.

[frikatilhi]

it’s sadly nothing too specific, but maybe it can still be a source of inspiration. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jere in that luchadora mask and Bojan training with that MMA champion. I’m sure they’d /enjoy/ play fighting (or maybe training together) a lot a lot…

Oh my god. Okay, confession time: Bojan’s instastories about training with that MMA champ did numbers on me, and I accidentally wrote a Bojan/omc pwp that I’m now just sitting with and wondering if it fits in another story or not or if it’s just doomed.

Anyway, here’s an answer to your prompt! Jere and Bojan sparring. I know nothing of sports, if you can't tell. 😂

Jere wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. But Bojan had asked so enthusiastically (“There’s even a Finnish sauna there! We can go afterwards and you can make fun of how wrong it is!”). Usually Jere was always up to trying anything new, and he had been working out a lot himself lately, if mostly only with weights, so he thought why not? Martial arts? Could be fun?

Now, looking around at the gym, he was having serious second thoughts. He wasn’t insecure about his looks, and he couldn’t care less what these dudes - ripped, sculptural, giant dudes - thought of him and his short legs and soft belly. But something about this place got to him, a little. Maybe it was the way some of these guys were looking at him, like they were sizing him up. Or maybe it was the way Bojan was fist-bumping everyone, laughing, excited, clearly in his element. 

Because Bojan wasn’t always like that. Jere had seen him at some of his low moments, and watching this Bojan, so giddy and carefree, felt awesome and bittersweet at the same time. He wanted to think he had something to do with it - he’d been like this at least since Finland, Jere thinks - but on the other hand, there could be a million reasons. Anything and everything could be behind Bojan’s new mood - making new music, touring, big stadium concert, meeting new people, maybe finding a new sport? Which, admittedly, to Jere seemed less like a sport and more like a form of foreplay, but hey, if Bojan liked it, who was he to judge?

Then again, maybe that’s exactly why Bojan liked it, and the thought sent an unpleasant jolt through him. He couldn’t deny that the sight of Bojan rolling around with some… thigh-master of a human, it woke something in him, something he maybe wasn’t super proud of.

“You ready?” asked Bojan, jogging towards him.

“Sure.” Jere followed him to the mat.

“Have you done martial arts before? Boxing or kickboxing?” asked Bojan.

Jere jumped on his feet a little to warm up. “Only cardio, with bag.”

“Ok good, so you know some basic techniques?” Bojan was also bouncing, moving his weight from one side to another.

“Sure, some, yeah.”

Bojan beamed. “Ok, so let’s do this!”

They started with simple one-for-one exchanges. Staying within punching range, taking turns. Slips, fakes, returns off of a block. They kept it light and easy, laughing as they went. Bojan showed him a few sequences that they then repeated until the movements were smooth. Jere found that he was enjoying himself, despite not being in his comfort zone. His hockey days might be far behind him, but the quick movements and core control required to stay in control seemed to come natural to him. 

After a while they moved into takedowns. Bojan had been working hard on learning them, so he was enthusiastic about showing off his skills. This required more contact, and soon Jere found himself pinned down, locked in between Bojan’s legs. Relaxing himself, admitting defeat, he started to get up, but Bojan pushed back, his thighs keeping Jere in place. 

“Say it,” Bojan said, laughing.

Jere huffed out a laugh, as well. “You want me to say it?”

“Yes, I think I do.” Bojan squeezed his legs a little harder. The sensation was… not bad, and it took Jere by surprise. He wanted to laugh it off, make a joke, but suddenly couldn’t think of anything to say. Nothing light-hearted enough came to mind, instead, his breath caught in his throat and he felt–

Shit. Shit shit shit.

“Okay, you win,” he breathed out quickly. Bojan stopped laughing. He let him go and stood up. He reached to pull Jere up, and Jere took his hand.

“You okay?” asked Bojan, looking at him closely.

“Yes yes, of course,” Jere said, trying to laugh it off. “Again?”

Bojan smiled. “Your turn to try!”

Maybe it was time he talked to Bojan, Jere thought. About… things. Maybe it would be better than accidentally getting hard while working out with him. Wouldn’t be any less awkward though, maybe. 

But that would be later. Now, he was ready to take Bojan down.