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kinktae · 4 years

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beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !)

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?” IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

#beyond the story #bts smut #Jungkook smut #bts jungkook #bts #bts imagines #bts preferences #Jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook

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professorsnape394 · 3 years

Text

The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Eighteen: Faith

A/N: This is the Eighteenth part to my fanfiction ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-18 can also be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below or send me a message if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 4199

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

The rapping of knuckles against the old oak door echoed throughout the potions master's office. Breaking through the thick silence that had engulfed the room, a wave of anxiety washed over Severus Snape.

"Can I not go one day without you bothering me, Miss Dumbledore." Snape complained, trying to hide slight crack of nervousness in his voice.

"Sadly, Severus, it is not your beloved Miss Dumbledore." A thick Bulgarian accent announced.

Admittedly disappointed by the unveiling of his visitor, Severus lowered himself back down into his chair, not willing to make an effort for anyone but his apprentice.

"Why are you here, Igor. You should have learned your lesson by now to leave me alone." He said, rubbing his eyes back into focus and running a hand through his hair lazily.

"I have something you'll want to hear." Karkaroff divulged mysteriously, plopping himself down on the chair across from the professor.

"I do not imagine anything you have to say is of any interest to me."

"Then lucky for you Snape, I won't be the one talking."

Unbothered by the man's deliberate awkwardness, Severus allowed him to ramble on, too exhausted to argue with him.

With a flick of his wand and a small puff off smoke, the space between the two men began to whirl and spin, slowly forming a picture-like image in the air, the scene beginning to unfold. Revealing a staff room full of unusually dressed professors, the focus turned to a small cluster of teachers gathered in the centre of the room. Recognising both Igor Karkaroff and Aria Dumbledore sitting side by side on the old couch, Snape grew suspicious of the man's intentions.

"Why are you showing me this?" Severus asked, unsure of whether he wanted to see what was about to happen.

"Just listen." The Durmstrang headmaster hissed.

"How do I feel about Snape?" Aria wondered, the scene enclosing in on her.

"He's... curious. He has the capacity for love and friendship just like the rest of us, yet he chooses to be mean-spirited."

"I don't want to hear this." Snape declared, turning his eyes away from the woman.

"You must." Igor demanded.

"...he can be mean and arrogant and cruel. And despite it all I try my best to show him kindness, but where does that get me? He calls me out in front of practically the whole school? That was so fucking humiliating, and I'm just supposed to forgive him? I think it's safe to say I'd live a happy life if I were to never see that man again."

Severus felt his heart drop in his chest, unable to process what he had just heard. Slowly a sharp ringing in his ears grew louder and louder, deafening him to the scene before him, as well as the reality in which he existed. He refused to believe the woman he cared so much about, the woman who had demanded to be his friend, had lied about everything. Did she truly hate him beneath her annoyingly cheerful demeanour, was it all a façade?

He wanted to insist Karkaroff had fabricated the whole thing, but he knew exactly what spell he had cast, there was no way he could have faked it.

A deep rage grew within the man, an anger he had not felt in a number of decades. Severus Snape prided himself on having a monotone disposition, void of all emotion. But that familiar feeling of being betrayed by someone he trusted brought forward a plethora of pent up emotions, namely anger and frustration.

A wide, devilish grin spread across Karkaroff's face, satisfied by his colleague's reaction.

"You see now what she is truly like, Severus. You see now that she was playing you all along. That girl pretends to be your friend to keep her job, not because she likes you." Igor laughed maliciously. "You and I both know what is coming, and when it does, Dumbledore is prepared to replace you. Even he knows where your true loyalties lie. Do not be fooled into thinking the Dumbledore's are your friends. They use you for their own advantage, but the second you are no longer useful, or you become a threat to them, you'll be taken down by any means necessary."

"You're lying." Snape tried to convince himself, refusing to meet the professors gaze. "You're scared of what he will do to you if he returns. You need an alliance with someone on the inside."

"He has returned, you must feel it just as I do." The ex-deatheater practically screamed.

"I will not be manipulated by you Igor. This changes nothing, the girl was nothing but a distraction."

"We both know that isn't true." He sniggered, attempting once last time to convince Snape. "Do you know what she said to me, the last time I was in this office? She told me she could never be with a man like you, she told me your actions were unforgivable. I can prove that as well if you don't believe me."

"Get out, Igor. Just leave." Severus exhaled, starting to pace slowly behind his desk. He knew Karkaroff was trying to manipulate him, he was not stupid enough to fall for that. But proof does not lie, and the facts remain. Everything he was saying true, there was no denying it.

With a short bow, Igor danced out of the room. Completely satisfied with the havoc he'd reeked. He'd successfully toyed with what little emotions the great dungeon bat had left. And who's to say what can happen when Severus Snape's feelings get hurt?

Hoot. Hoot.

The bird bleated as it swooped through the open window.

"Another letter for the pile?" Aria sighed to herself. "Will he ever stop?"

Whoo.

It purred in response.

The witch couldn't help but laugh at the coincidence.

"You know exactly who." She giggled, plucking the envelope from the creatures beak, and throwing it on the ever growing pile.

"I just wish he would give me some time to think, you know?" She asked turning back to the barn owl, only to witness it taking off, disappearing into the distance.

Look at me. I'm talking to a bird. She thought with a roll of her eyes. I need to get some sleep.

Catching a glimpse of herself reflection of the window, Aria decided she needed to freshen herself up with a little pamper time, finishing the day off with a very long and well deserved nap.

Dumping almost a whole bottle of bubble bath into the tub, topping with springs of lavender and dried chamomile, Aria plunged herself deep into the warm water.

Relaxing for approximately 2.5 seconds, the woman flew out of the bath, her naked body sopping with bubbles, dripping puddles of water as she explored her quarters impatiently.

"Why can I never find any of my books when I need them most!" She groaned, shivering from the sudden change in temperature as goose bumps formed all over her arms and legs.

Letting out a single yelp of excitement, Aria grabbed the first book she laid eyes on and dived back into her tub.

"Pride and Prejudice, of course." She mumbled, thinking back to that night Severus visited her quarters.

As she read and her mind wandered, Aria found herself making unconscious comparisons between the infamous, brooding Mr. Darcy, and her stern, yet lovable Potions mentor, Severus Snape. They were both mildly rude and arrogant, determined to never show their true emotions, but deep down it was quite possible that they loved more fiercely than anyone ever could.

Elizabeth Bennet enchanted Darcy mind, body and soul. If only there were someone brave enough to do the same to Professor Snape. Aria thought, as she allowed herself to drift off to sleep in the water.

Hours later a thunderously loud 'Bang' frightened Aria awake.

Although not positively sure of how much later it was, she could be certain a decent sleep was had given the icy temperature of the water.

Aria allowed herself a moment to come to, bracing herself against the cold, her was body aching from the ceramic constraints of the tub.

A series of bangs came this time, chapping very loudly on her chamber door. Who ever it was was clearly extremely impatient, forcing her to hurry herself up.

Wrapping herself in nothing but a white cotton towel, the witch slid her way through her rooms to the door. Clearly she wasn't even awake enough to remember where she was, and that answering her door half naked wasn't exactly professional.

Bang. Bang. BANG.

The knocks reverberated through her body, sending shivers down her spine.

Gingerly she opened the door, revealing a more than pissed off Severus Snape.

"Severus." She yawned. "What's wrong?"

"Don't act dumb with me, girl. I am not falling for this act any longer." He snapped.

"What act, Severus? Why are you here?"

"Just tell me why?" He seethed. "Why did go to so much trouble trying to convince me to be your friend, only to confess to Karkaroff, as well as the rest of the Hogwarts staff, your true feelings. Why couldn't you just leave me alone."

"Severus listen, I think we need to talk about this in private. Please come in."

"So you can try and seduce me again? I don't think so. Jesus, look at the state of you, are you really that desperate to entice me? What's next, showing up to dinner completely naked? You really are just as I thought." The potions master growled, his pitch back eyes looking her up and down.

"Severus stop" Aria begged. "I thought we had moved past all this."

"So did I. But considering you have deemed me as "unforgivable" then there doesn't appear to be much point in trying to redeem myself, does there?"

"But you're only going to make everything worse. Let me explain myself, please."

"There is nothing to explain, I shall be putting in a formal request for the headmaster to employ a separate tutor for your apprenticeship in the morning, so you never have to see me again."

The professor stormed off, just as quickly as he had arrived, achieving exactly what he had come to do; humiliate Aria Dumbledore.

Desperate to apologise for her cruel words, Aria made to follow Severus to his classroom.

Forgetting her attire, or rather lack of, she was soon reminded of it when a crowd of Slytherin students erupted in a fit laughter with its fair share of cat-calls and whistles. Clearly they had emerged from their common room to investigate the noise, but stayed for the show of the two arguing potions professors.

"Nice legs, Miss." One of the older boys called, sending a wink in her direction.

Shit. She mumbled under her breath, rushing back to her quarters to change.

Hair still dripping wet, Aria shoved it into a bun on top of her head and pulled on some shorts and an oversized t-shirt, before hunting down the potions master.

"Severus, open the door." She called, upon initially finding it to be locked.

He didn't even bother to reply.

Fine. She thought. I'll do it myself.

"Alohomora." The lock burst apart, allowing the door to slowly creep open, revealing a dishevelled and distressed professor sitting at his desk.

"Severus, please." She whispered softly, realising he had clearly come down from his short outburst of rage.

"Get out." He commanded, though he didn't make any effort to remove his head from his hands.

"Let's talk about this." The woman pleaded, pulling a chair up next to the man. "Let me explain everything."

Snape stirred from his position the closer she came, until finally he was able to look her in the eye.

"Go on." He droned. His eyes red and blood shot, whether it was from lack of sleep or tears was unclear.

"You know more than anyone that Karkaroff cannot be trusted-"

"Don't try and lie to me, Miss Dumbledore. I saw the whole thing with my own eyes." Snape snapped.

"Will you let me finish. I'm not lying to you, Severus." Aria promised. "I said what I said because I didn't want them to know the truth, Karkaroff especially. I don't know what his problem is but I know he's up to something and it involves you. You really think I'd answer any question he asked me truthfully. You're my friend, Severus, I care about you, and that man is a snake for trying to turn us against each other."

"Why should I believe you. I've barely known you a few months, I've known Igor decades."

"That is precisely why you should believe me. He's not your friend, Severus. If he was he'd be able to see the real you; the man behind the mask." She urged, begging for his trust.

Reaching out her hand to take his, Aria stroked a thumb over the cold and calloused hand of her friend.

"And who might that be?" Severus questioned in return, feeling slightly nervous under her touch, but not enough to want to pull away.

"A man." She stated simply. "Not a beast, as you and many others may presume. A good, and decent man. Perhaps he's a even a little bit scared, of what I'm not entirely sure yet. But I will find out one day, if you'll allow me, that is. Let me be your friend, Severus. Let me see what you hide from everyone else. And I promise, I'll be there for you when it matters most."

Her sweet soft tones encapsulated Severus. He had become so lost in her words and her touch that without realising he found himself falling for her speech wholeheartedly. He even risked settling his remaining hand upon hers, clasping her delicate fist between his palms.

"Well then I suppose an apology is in order. I believe I may have acted rather rash and unprofessional."

"There's really no need. You reacted just as you should have to the things you heard. I would have done the same thing in your circumstance." Aria admitted, removing her hand from his, as she made to stand up. "Though there is one thing you could do to make it up to me." She suggested.

"Dare I even ask?" Severus joked.

"I want to know what Karkaroff's after. Tell me how you know him. Why does he care so much about your life?"

Snape practically laughed in response.

"We may be friends now, Miss Dumbledore, but I'm afraid that information is rather personal. And I am not convinced we are quite at that stage in our friendship, just yet."

"I respect that." She shrugged, knowing he wasn't about to give in that easily. "I suppose that just means we'll have to get to know each other a bit more." She smiled almost ear to ear at the prospect.

"What do you have planned for your lesson today, Professor Dumbledore?" Severus queried, finally using the woman's rightful professional title.

"Ooooh 'Professor' now, am I?" She smirked, sashaying in front of her co-worker, balancing a handful of potion ingredients in her arms.

"I suppose that is your given title after all, I might as well start using it."

"Hmmm I'm not sure. I think it make's me sound too much like my grandfather. I'm not sure I could pull of the beard quite as well, what do you think?" She giggled, holding her long hair in front of her chin, imitating the old wizard playfully before clumsily dropping another dozen bottles on the table.

Severus tried his hardest to conceal his smile, busying himself with paper work, but however hard he tried he could not hide it from Aria. Every so often she managed to catch him off guard, with a silly joke, or a quick witted comment, in those rare times he allowed himself a glimmer of emotion she always managed to notice. Most of the time Severus found himself smiling at the woman for no reason other than she was simply smiling too.

Finally turning her attention away from the potions master, Aria finished setting up her table full of small bottles and vials.

"We're going to play a game." She announced cheerfully spinning on her heel.

"A game?" Severus asked, unable to stop himself turning his nose up at her idea.

"Yes. It's like a test, but more fun." She persuaded, sensing his judgement.

"And what, might I ask, is wrong with a traditional test." He queried bitterly.

"The students need motivation, Severus. The word 'test' makes people nervous. With nervousness comes panic, and with panic comes mistakes. Fear is not an accurate motivator, however competition is. The students will be less inclined to make mistakes, if they are rewarded for their efforts." The apprentice hypothesised.

"And this reward is?"

"I haven't decided yet."

Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes, but allowed her to do her thing uninterrupted.

Since their little 'heart to heart' that night in Snape's office the two professors were finding working with each other a lot more amiable. Severus had given Aria a little more free reign with her portion of the lessons, which in turn, allowed her to respect Severus' strict theoretical practices without causing too many interruptions. The pair had almost started to enjoy working together.

Student by student the class trickled in, each of them intrigued by the new set up of the class room.

"Everyone please take your seats, do not touch the table at the front of the room, class will begin momentarily." Miss Dumbledore announced.

A moment of panic set in as Aria scrambled around Snape's desk, looking for her list of possible potions. This may not have been her first time teaching solo, but it was, however, her opportunity to prove her practices are successful in front of her mentor, Severus Snape. The man in question could see the fear in her eyes, and that she was desperate to impress.

"Here." He mouthed, handing her the piece of parchment. "Relax."

Brushing fingers, as she took the parchment from him, Aria grinned.

"Thank you." She whispered, once again turning to face the class, now with a little more confidence.

"Now today, as you may have guessed, we are going to do something a little different. Professor Snape and I have chosen to take this opportunity to allow you, our promising young N.E.W.Ts students, to show off your skill set to the best of your ability's. On this table in front of me you will find a select variety of potions ingredients that correspond to a number of potions all very much within your capability, your task is to complete one of these potions within the allotted time, at the end of which, a winner will be selected by us."

"What do we win then, professor?" One eager student asked.

"A potion of their choice." She declared, impulsively.

A murmer of chatter instantly broke out among the class, intrigued at the prospect of winning such a thing.

"That all sounds very exciting, Miss Dumbledore." Snape cut in, unwilling to take a backseat quite so easily. "However, sadly as an apprentice professor you are not permitted to take anything from my stores to use so frivolously. The prize will have to be decided at a later time."

Unsurprisingly the students weren't too pleased with Snape's intervention causing for a series of disappointed groans and heckles.

"Then I shall make it myself." Aria concluded.

Another bout of cheers erupted.

"Collect your ingredients, light up your cauldrons, your time starts now!"

Immediately the students jumped from their seats, swarming the table to get what they needed. The professors moved away from the crowd, giving the class a moment to get started.

"Miss Dumbledore, this is not a wise decision." Severus spoke in hushed tones. "I understand entirely the prize of a potion chosen by you, but to give them a choice could be extremely dangerous, think of the chaos that will ensue."

"How about you have a little faith in them for once. Trust that they will make the right decision."

Looking down on the woman, Severus couldn't help but trust she would be right.

"I have faith in you. Not in them." He made clear.

Severus made to walk away, leaving Aria to relish in her small victory, until he was suddenly pulled back by the young woman's hand in his. Not saying a word, Aria Dumbledore gave him an appreciative squeeze, before releasing him back to his desk.

The first hour of the classes passed by effortlessly, the students worked quietly and Severus found no reason to complain. All in all, Aria was quite pleased with how her lesson was going.

That was until...

"Oh shiiiiit."

"Language Mr. Lawrence." Severus warned, briefly looking up from his marking.

"Right, sorry sir. But what the fuck am I supposed to do when this thing starts bubbling like crazy." He freaked out, completely ignoring the potions master's warning.

"What?" Aria gasped, only just becoming aware of the situation.

"Yeah like this thing looks likes 'bout to blow, to be honest with you." The seventh year Hufflepuff boy informed nonchalantly.

"Step away from that cauldron students, quickly!" Aria ordered, ushering them to the sides of the classroom. "You were attempting a wit-sharpening potion, is that correct?"

"Yup."

"I'm afraid there's no saving it now, Mr. Lawrence, the best we can hope for is that it does not turn to acid and burn through bench."

"Out of my way." Severus huffed impatiently, forcing his way through the crowd of students that had formed around the cauldron.

"Pass me that root of ginger" Snape demanded, positioning himself in front of the ever growing cauldron of bubbling green liquid. Aria obeyed hastily, as the professor performed what she could only describe as a miracle on this horrifying concoction. "Some more newt spleens." He requested, holding out a hand expectantly, while the other gripped onto his wand, casting an enchantment over the potion.

The potions master continued adding a bit of this and a dash of that to the potion, all ingredients Aria Dumbledore would never have considered to associate with this particular brew. Jars of herbs, spices and animal parts were passed through the classroom in order to reach Professor Snape who continuously stirred the potion, muttering all sorts of charms and spells.

However skilled Aria had assumed she was at the art of potion making, it was made clear to her that she was no match for Severus' skills, brewing potions was second nature to him now. Within minutes he had achieved what Aria Dumbledore had deemed impossible, and thus the potion was brought back to it's natural state.

"Severus..." The apprentice gawped. "That was amazing."

"That was nothing." He replied curtly, removing himself from the scene. "Everybody back to work, this is not an excuse to slack off."

Still in awe at the pure artistry she had witnessed, Aria trotted sheepishly back to the front of the class.

Blissfully unaware of the pure talent they had just seen, the students continued on with their work. The Hufflepuff boy did not even have the decency to thank his professor for salvaging the mess he called a potion, let alone be grateful he never received a detention, or deduction of house points.

"What are you staring at, Miss Dumbledore, is there no better way you can spend your time?"

"I'm sorry Severus, but that display was just... brilliant." She beamed.

"Like I said, it was nothing. It comes with the job, I refuse to have any of those delinquents burn through my entire store cupboard because they cannot brew a simple potion, a year below their level no less."

"Well, at least we know who definitely won't be winning anyway." Aria giggled.

"The most we can hope for from that boy is that he manages to finish his potion, god knows he'll need it."

Playfully slapping Snape on the arm for his cheek, the witch perched herself on the edge of the professor's desk, attempting a quick sketch on a scrap piece of parchment, while the students begun to finish off their potions.

"Professor Snape, the winner?" Aria asked, turning to her colleague for a verdict once all of the potions had been completed.

"You want me to choose?" Severus replied, skeptical of her offer.

"Of course. I don't think it would be fair of me to do it, considering I've been giving all of them tips this lesson."

"Very well." He droned, stepping forth to analyse the contents of the cauldrons.

"This one." He announced, pointing a single finger to the cauldron of a young Slytherin witch. "Given that it was the only potion brewed to complete perfection, there is no other possible candidate. I suggest the rest of you get studying before your N.E.W.T's exams, at the rate you lot are going, none of you besides Miss Johnstone here is likely to pass." Snape scolded.

"Well then, congratulations Miss Johnstone, you are the winner of a potion of your choice. See me after lessons tomorrow and let me know your decision."

The girl practically beamed with pride, expecting nothing less than first place.

"Class dismissed."

Taglist:

@ayamenimthiriel @lizlil

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imaginationintowords · 4 years

Text

Folklore [song series]

illicit affairs

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x OC!Reader; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

Word count: 2393

Warnings: some swearing, nothing too unsettling, Bucky being Bucky.

[a/n: please let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist or if you’d like to be removed. If you’d like to be added to the taglist just simply message me]

Previous part

Series Masterlist

Age: 19

Year: 2013

Location: New York

When Bucky had brought up taking it slow with Elizabeth he truly meant it because he wanted to give their relationship a fair shot. He really did want the relationship to work. He really wanted to be with Elizabeth again.

At least that's what he had thought.

For the past year, while away at school he always had this notion that they would be getting back together once they returned fro the summer.

For the first couple of months at school Bucky ignored any person who tried getting with him. He was determined to change, to prove to not just Elizabeth, but to himself that he's a changed man.

He was going to focus on himself. Truly work on himself.

And it was all going well until he and his roommate Sam went to a party. The party was being thrown at a nearby fraternity. Everything was going well until these two girls started to flirt with him and Sam.

Bucky ended up leaving with one of the girls and as did Sam.

Bucky had woken up the next morning feeling completely awful about what he had done. He spent the greater part of his morning self-loathing.

Once Same had gotten back he became worried over seeing the state Bucky was in.

"Hey are you okay?" Sam asked

"No, I fucked up," Bucky said sitting at the edge of his bed, pulling on his hair.

"What did you do?" Sam asked concerned.

"I hooked up with that girl from last night."

"Are you serious?" Sam shook his head in disbelief over Bucky's freak out.

"Yes, I'm serious."

"Aren't you single?"

"Yeah," Bucky looked at him as if he had three heads.

"Did you both consent to having sex?" Sam asked sitting down on his own bed across from Bucky.

"Yeah."

"Then I don't see the problem," Sam said, "You both consented and you're both single. So what am I missing?"

Bucky froze. Realistically he didn't do anything wrong. He and Elizabeth weren't together, and it's not like she knew he wanted to get back together. Plus, she was on the other side of the country. It's not like she would hear about this.

"You're right. There isn't a problem," Bucky said, feeling himself calming down, "Just had a bit of a moment."

"Are you sure you're good now?" Sam asked, "I don't want to come back from taking a shower to find you spiraling again."

"Yeah, I'm good," Bucky assured Sam.

That girl wasn't the last girl Bucky hooked up with. But he also didn't go crazy with it. He was at NYU on partial scolarship, so he needed to also focus on maintaining high grades.

Over the course of his first semester he found a good balance between school and having a personal life. The one thing Bucky did make sure not to touch was alcohol. Growing up he had a front row seat to the negatives of what alcohol could do to a person. The last thing he ever wanted to do was be like his father.

By the end of his first year of school he was thriving, mentally and physically. He had made it onto the Dean's List and he made a lot of wonderful new friends. He had also decided to take some summer courses, wanting to speed up his timeline to graduate.

For the first time in a very long time Bucky was proud of himself. He couldn't wait to show Elizabeth the young man he had become. Someone worthy of being with her.

Bucky was back home a week before Steve was due to return. He had spent part of the week unpacking and spending time with his family.

It was one day, the same day Steve was flying back in, that he took Rebecca to the mall.

Rebecca was browsing the candles in Bath and Body Works, that's when Bucky bumped into her.

Natasha Romanoff.

He hadn't seen her since the end of last summer before she left to go to Yale University.

Nothing romantic had happened between them after everyone found out about their affair. Natasha did try bringing up the idea of them giving it a try, but Bucky had told her he wasn't ready for that. His head space wasn't in the right place to be with anyone.

"Hey Bucky," she smiled brightly, subtly checking him out.

"Uh hey Nat," he awkwardly said.

"You look good," she complimented him.

"So do you," he cleared his throat, finally taking in her appearance.

He would be lying if he didn't say she didn't look good, hell even better than before.

"I see you're back as well," she lightly laughed, trying to make small talk.

"Yeah, just got back last week," he said, "When did you come back?"

"Two days ago," she said, "It's kind of weird being back home, not going to lie."

"Yeah I know what you mean. Even though I was close by, it feels weird," he laughed.

"Bucky, I'm ready to go," he turns around to see Rebecca walking up to them with a bag in her hand.

"Hi Rebecca," Natasha friendly greeted.

"Hi," Rebecca said curtly forcing a fake smile.

Bucky's eyes widen at his sister's rude behavior. Before he could say anything Rebecca was already by the exit of the store.

"Sorry about that," he embarrassedly apologized.

"No worries," Natasha lied, shaking off the feeling.

"I better go," Bucky said starting to walk away, "It was good to see you again."

"You too," she said.

As Bucky walked away, Natasha called out his name. She walked to where he was standing in front of the open store door.

"Maybe if you have some time today, you want to meet up for some coffee?" She hesitantly asked.

Bucky didn't know what to say. He knew he should've rejected the offer, but after the way Rebecca treated Natasha he felt like he needed to accept. And a part of him was missing her.

"Sure," he smiled, "I have to drop off Rebecca first, how about we meet at the cafe a block away from the high school in 30 minutes."

"Deal," she winked.

Bucky thought he was being careful. He thought he had covered up the tracks of what had happened in his car two hours before picking up Steve.

He thought wrong, the second Steve held up Natasha's red lace panties.

After his hook up with Natasha he had promised himself that that was it. With Elizabeth being back home, he couldn't risk her finding out.

Bucky was clearly lying to himself.

That first week Steve was back he alternated going from Steve's to Natasha's. Making up excuses about where he was. Steve didn't suspect a thing, too focused on unpacking his things.

Bucky was actively avoiding his house, afraid of seeing Elizabeth. Part of it was that he wasn't ready to see her quite yet, the other part was guilt for what he was doing with Natasha.

He tried to push that guilt aside, reminding himself that the difference this time was that he was actually single. He and Natasha even agreed to keeping it casual, seeing as Bucky would be busy with school this summer.

When Bucky saw Elizabeth walk into the Rogers' backyard all his thoughts stopped. Steve was right, she looked happy.

He was taken back when she made the first move to talk to him. He was even more surprised when she invited him into her empty house. Which he declined. It's not like he didn't want to, because he really did. His conscious wouldn't allow him to do so. He knew if he really wanted this to work with Elizabeth, they couldn't rush the process. Bucky went to bed that night promising himself he would end it with Natasha in the morning.

That didn't happen.

He told Natasha the truth, that he and Elizabeth were going to try again. When she asked if they were officially back together, Bucky told her no.

He ended up back in her bed.

That's how he spent his summer, going back and forth between the two young women.

It was going well. Or so he thought.

Word had gotten around that he and Elizabeth were spotted out on a date.

Thanks Inez.

So Bucky and Nat had to be extra careful about their meetings. They found themselves meeting in empty parking lots during the early mornings before Bucky headed to class.

As July approached Bucky found his schedule getting much busier, he and Elizabeth weren't seeing each other as often as they were used to.

Truth be told he and Elizabeth weren't even being physical with each other.

Not for the lack of trying on Elizabeth's part. He just couldn't bring himself to do it, not when he had spent his mornings with Natasha.

He knew she was getting slightly frustrated. He just kept telling her that he needed them to take it slow. He knew he would have to end it with Natasha, if he wanted to be with Elizabeth.

So that's what he did.

The week of Steve's birthday Hamptons getaway, he ended it with Nat. He explained to her how he really needed him and Elizabeth to work.

Natasha pretended to understand letting him know there weren't any bad feelings between them.

She spent that week crying over the same boy who couldn't love her back. She felt humiliated about letting him do this to her once again.

Yet she couldn't help but to long for him.

She loved Bucky like she had never loved anyone else.

If that meant always coming second to Elizabeth Sanchez, she would. As long as she had him.

______________

Natasha ended up going to the Hamptons with some of her sorority sisters for the 4th of July. They had heard about a party down the street and decided to check it out. Natasha wasn't expecting to find anyone she knew there, let alone Bucky, with Elizabeth by his side laughing.

She managed to avoid Bucky and any of her hometown classmates. She didn't want that drama. She also didn't want her new friends finding out about her past.

When everyone went out front to watch the fireworks she stayed behind. She just wanted some time alone, away from the crowds. She also didn't want to see the happy couple together.

As she sat on the couch scrolling through her phone she heard someone walking in. She looked up expecting to see a stranger's face, only to be met with a surprised face Bucky.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" He asked, turning around making sure no one had followed him inside.

"Don't worry, I didn't come here to stalk you," she rolled her eyes, "I'm here with some sorority sisters, didn't expect to see you or them here."

"Oh," Bucky tried to ease his nervous tone, he was standing awkwardly by the living room entrance.

"I'm not going to bite," Natasha said annoyed by the way Bucky is behaving, "So either come into the room or leave."

Bucky hesitated for a second. He knew he could've just gone upstairs to his own room. That would've been the safer choice. Yet he found his body making it's way towards the couch, sitting a cushion away from Natasha.

"Big crowds?" She asked him.

"Yeah just felt a little suffocating," he admits wringing his right wrist.

"Tell me about it," she sighed.

"So are you two official?" Natasha asked looking everywhere but at him.

"Nat," Bucky sighed, not wanting to start any drama.

"What? It's just a question," she raised her eyebrows at him.

"I'm going to take that as a no," she answered for him after a few moments of silence.

"What are you trying to prove Nat?"

"Nothing," she defended, "Just don't understand why we had to end things when you two aren't even 'official'."

"Nat, I need this to work with her," Bucky admitted looking into her eyes.

He saw the hurt behind them. He feels guilty for all the pain he's caused her. He never meant to hurt her. Never meant for things to go this way. Bucky truly did care for Natasha, even though it doesn't seem like it. He really did. He just doesn't get why he can't fully give himself to her. He had no trouble physically, and at time mentally. There was just something keeping him from doing so, like a tight grip on his arm tugging him away.

Natasha just stared at the silent boy in front of her.

“I really am sorry for the way everything played out,” Bucky sincerely apologized, feeling his eyes begin to tear up, “I know I keep saying this, but I never meant for all of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Can I ask you just one thing?” She asked clearing her throat, feeling a lump in her throat.

Bucky nodded his head, letting her continue on.

“What makes her so special?” She asked, tears threatening to fall.

“She was my first love.”

“And you were mine,” she confessed, tears silently falling down her face.

Bucky scooted closer to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, bringing her into his side as she cried.

“Natasha, I really did love you,” he whispered.

“Not more than her,” she looked up in his eyes.

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. He himself didn’t know if he did or not.

“We never got a proper goodbye,” her voice cracked, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Nat-”

“Please,” she begged, “Just one last time. I promise I’ll leave you both alone. Please.”

Bucky quietly got up front he couch, taking a moment to think his next move over.

He surprised Natasha by sticking his left hand out for her to take.

She reached out for it, letting Bucky lead her upstairs to his room. When he reached his room he opened the door for Natasha to walk in, before entering he turned around making sure no one was watching.

_______________

As they walked out Natasha made a joke lightening the mood, causing both of them to laugh as they made their exit.

Bucky walked out behind Natasha, only to meet the eyes of the last person he would want to catch this moment.

He froze in his spot.

Nothings changed.

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jalapeno-princess · 4 years

Text

Chapter 2: Bump in the Road

(Yo man all these Mark pre debut pics got me feeling some type of way) (Why did nobody at my high school look like that idgi???)

Mark Tuan X Reader

Part of the Crazy Little Thing Called Love Series

Genre: Fluff, angst and awkward, experimental and extremely adorable smut

Word Count: 13.7K (Daaaaamn I really thought it was longer) (Still long as hell though)

Summary: Falling in love with Mark had to be one of the easiest things you have ever done in your entire life. However, the trials that came with loving him were all the more challenging and you didn’t know how much of it you could possibly take.

A/N: Okay so this one is all over the place (I say that about all my imagines recently) but seriously this one is kind of complicated but please bare with me. I also am not particularly a fan of how I ended this chapter but oh well. Happy reading! (The smut scene in here is actually more humorous and meant to be clumsy and inexperienced lol but honestly it sucks hahahahaha)

“Y/n! This is the mile run, not the mile walk! You have exactly twelve minutes to run four laps around the field. This is only your second lap and you’ve wasted seven minutes just dragging your feet through the dirt. Pick up the pace or else I’m failing you for not putting in effort!”

You released a frustrated grunt at your p.e. teacher’s words, but did as you were told. Back in elementary school, p.e. was one of your favorite subjects. You loved taking a break from your studies and getting to play all kinds of different sports; dodgeball, sham battle, volleyball, basketball and even doing all kinds of relay races—but middle school ruined the class for you entirely when you realized that you were no longer allowed to play around and have fun.

No. Middle school was serious business now. You were being graded on whether you changed out in to your uniform, how many jumping jacks you could do in one minute, how many times you could kick a soccer ball in to one of the field goals and today, you had to run one mile which you and the rest of your classmates have been preparing for every single day in the last two weeks. It wasn’t like you weren’t physically active enough to run all four laps; you joined cross country only two months after transferring over to Middle school from Elementary.

Running long distances were something you were used to. What you weren’t used to, was the fact that your boyfriend had p.e. during the same period you did. It’s as if fate wanted you to fail miserably. Over the last two years, Mark only grew more and more attractive and your mind always drifted back to when you first saw him going through physical changes when you were in the fourth grade. What you thought back then to be his beginning stages of puberty or so you’ve been taught in health was nothing compared to the change he was currently going through as of right now.

His features became even more prominent; his jaw was more defined, his eyebrows were sharper, his chubby cheeks were slimming down immensely and his lips have grown fuller. His voice that was once squeaky and high pitch was now deeper and more “manlier” in his words. He was even excited to tell you that he was slowly but surely growing facial hair.

It was hard for you to prevent yourself from laughing when he pulled you to the side one day at recess and showed you the two strands of hair on his chin—but it was also very cute. From the time he entered middle school, Mark would always complain about being scrawny and not masculine enough for someone in middle school. Although you were still too young to really understand what was expected to happen to both girls and boys while puberty transformed their bodies entirely, you had a feeling Mark was taking this whole “growing up” and “maturing” too seriously.

You were only two months away from moving on to the seventh grade which also meant that Mark was going to become a high school freshman. Nothing much has changed since you graduated from Elementary school and settled in to Middle school other than being able to see and spend more time with your boyfriend. From what the older boy would describe over and over to be some of the best years in school he has experienced so far—well, educationally.

All those years in elementary that he spent with you; learning more about you, getting to see that contagious smile of yours and being the main reason behind it, falling in love—or what he claimed his parents called “puppy love” with you, those had to be some of the best years of his life. Unlike you, Mark enjoyed school. He loved learning about all kinds of things. Right now, his favorite subject was social studies specifically because he and the rest of his classmates got to watch all these documentaries about some of the most important events to go down in history.

Since he had every intention on being with you as much as he possibly could, Mark brought up the suggestion that you’d joining an after school activity together. You had yet to tell anybody other than your older sister and a couple of your closest friends about your relationship in fear of your parents finding out and forcing you to break up with him. Your family was well aware of your friendship though and they genuinely really liked Mark.

For someone who was right about to turn fourteen-years-old, it was evident that he had a excellent head on his shoulders. You would always think back to the first time he introduced himself to you and how he told you his mom said he was a good boy in order to get you to trust him. He always had your best interest at heart—he did whatever it was for you in order to help you in any way possible, or just to make you happy.

Your happiness was Mark’s sole priority. Almost every single day, he would walk you back home before walking back to school for practice. On the days he had nothing scheduled for after school, he’d be over at your house playing video games with your older brothers or watching a movie with you out in the living room. It always made you smile seeing how well he got along with your family and although you had yet to really get to know his, Mark told you he was confident that they would love you just as much as he did.

In his three years of middle school, he had built quite the reputation of being the campus’ all around student. Although he could be shy and introverted towards students he wasn’t all too familiar with, he was very kind and thoughtful to anyone who had entered his path. It was also known throughout the school that Mark had one of the highest g.p.a.s in his grade. There were a few occasions that his teachers would have him tutor other students for extra credit and being the polite person his mother made sure she raised him to be, he always said yes—even if he didn’t particularly want to.

He was also very involved in sports and extracurricular activities; soccer, football, baseball, water polo, cross-country, student council—you name it. Mark just really enjoyed making new friends and taking on new challenges. Since you were the only one out of your siblings that would return back home once school was over, your parents recommended that you’d look for some kind of activity that you would find interest in. It was actually your boyfriend’s idea to join cross country with him; it was pretty much the only sport that he knew you wouldn’t get hurt in and that helped keep his mind at ease.

The last thing he wanted was something bad to happen to his favorite girl under his supervision. On the first day of practice, you didn’t think it was all that bad. Your coach had the team run five laps around the tennis court before calling it a day. Unfortunately, you couldn’t say the same thing for the rest of that week when you found yourself running up and down an extremely steep hill ten times. By the end of it, you felt as if you were about to throw up your lungs—it was terrible and what was even worse was the mocking laughter that came from a few of your teammates since you were the last one to finish.

Mark tried to stifle back a laugh, but it wasn’t a laugh to insult you in any way. The word proud didn’t even describe half of what Mark felt watching you put in so much effort to finish your rounds, no matter how visibly exhausted you were. He found himself giggling because he thought you looked so adorable with your flustered, pink cheeks, hair sticking out all over the place and the fact that you flopped on to the grass without even worrying about getting dirty. He waited for your coach to inform you all what he had planned for the rest of the day and allowed you some well deserved rest before pulling you up. As soon as he noticed that everyone was out of sight, he all but gently yanked you against his chest and placed a reassuring kiss on your cheek.

“Hey, ignore them. You’ve tried your best y/n. You’re the only six grader here—everyone else, they’ve been running for years. You only joined a week ago. I’ve seen a lot of them having to stop in the middle of a race because they’d get side pains from eating right before a competition. Hell, some of them even walk when no ones watching. So don’t beat yourself up about it too much okay? You have me. I’m here. I’m always going to be here—nothing to worry about baby. Let’s go. If we have enough time, I’ll buy you some frozen yogurt before I take you home.”

You beamed up at him as your heart fluttered hearing his words. Sure, the idea of him treating you to your favorite dessert excited you—especially after all you had to suffer through, but hearing that you had nothing to worry about because Mark had your back was such an amazing feeling. Even after all these years, not once had he ever shown you otherwise. He was practically glued at your hip and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You placed a small peck on the corner of his mouth before intertwining your hands together and you grinned to yourself when you saw the blush rise upon his cheeks.

“Can I get extra toppings?” He playfully squeezed your hand before bringing it up to his lips and placing a sloppy kiss on the back of it.

“Of course you can babe. God—you’re so cute you know that?”

Although there were some days you felt as if you were still too young to be in love or to know what love actually was, you knew in your gut that what you felt for Mark was extremely intense. Hell, if what was going on between the two of you wasn’t love, you didn’t think you’d actually get to experience it because you had no intention on being with anybody else. You were overjoyed with what you had with Mark.

From what you’ve seen in movies and television shows, what you’d hear your sister go in to detail about over the phone with one of her friends and just witnessing your parents interacting with each other, you had an idea of what being in love was. You saw the way Mark would look at you; as if time stopped whenever the two of you were together and all he wanted to do was look at you in admiration—in awe of your beauty. It was in his actions; he made it a point to continue his overprotective habit he started in Elementary school—walking you home to make sure you got back safe and pushing you on the inside of the sidewalk to keep you away from the road. It was in the way he would leave his friends to go be with you.

Every single time you’d have a rough day, you would find a candy bar or a bag of skittles in your backpack as his attempt to cheer you up. He might have said it repeatedly on a daily basis—even if he didn’t understand just how powerful that four letter word was, but you’ve witnessed the love he harbored for you with his many sacrifices and sweet gestures. Nobody would do even half of what Mark does for you if they didn’t love you and honestly, Mark’s love and just Mark in general was all you could ever need.

Even if he were to be the only friend you’d have in your entire school career, he was the only friend that mattered. If the butterflies that would swarm in your tummy whenever you’d see him were any consolation, that breathtakingly beautiful boy was the rightful owner to your heart. You did whatever you could in order to even pretend that you were going to put more effort in to your movements, but you were too busy watching Mark swing his bat at the baseball.

Out of all the clothes he owned, why did he have to wear a muscle tank? You didn’t think biceps came with puberty but you weren’t complaining. Since all of your focus was on your boyfriend, you failed to notice the rock that was dead center on the track until you face planted right on the dirt. You heard a few people calling out for you; you assumed one of them had to be your teacher while the others were your classmates—but the voice that was quick to grab your attention belonged to none other than the person who was to blame for your accidental fall.

“Shit—y/n are you okay? You ate the ground pretty badly. Are you hurt? Does anything hurt?”

He brought his hand up to your face and squeezed both your cheeks. Immediately, your boyfriend began to scan your face for any cuts or bruises and his brows furrowed once his eyes landed on the huge gash in your arm. You were always so clumsy and sometimes you failed to pay attention to your surroundings—however, this was the first time you ended up practically face planting on to the floor. Before you could say or do anything, he was picking you up from right of the ground and briskly walked over to your teacher.

She was obviously worried for numerous reasons, but you had a feeling she saw that you were distracted. If so, you could only hope she didn’t know exactly why—but it didn’t matter. What now had your full attention was the throbbing pain in your right ankle. You were no doctor, but the pain was excruciating and it didn’t move when you tried to twist it a little bit.

“Would it be okay for me to take y/n to the health room?”

She had no choice but to say yes—not that she planned on saying otherwise. Mark had you pressed tightly against his chest as he carried you bridal style; your teacher wasn’t born yesterday. Anyone could see that Mark wasn’t only volunteering to help you out because he felt bad. Also, the way he was holding you; so tightly and protectively as if he were to lose you if he set you down led everyone to believe that the you both were well acquainted with one another. As the two of you began making your way to the office, Mark pressed a sweet kiss on your nose all the while giving you a concerned look.

“My clumsy girl—how did you even fall? I saw the custodians smoothing out the track yesterday. Were you not paying attention? Did your shoelaces get untied without you noticing—“

“Stupid muscle tank.”

You were currently hiding your face against his chest, so your sentence came out as a mumbled whisper. As much as you hated to admit that your boyfriend was the reason you were probably minutes away from heading to the hospital, it was the truth. You were surprised that only now you made a fool out of yourself and got in to an accident. It was currently three months in to the last semester and you found yourself ogling over Mark with every chance you got during p.e.

There was one time your class and his class had to share the basketball court and instead of teaming up with his classmates and playing games with them, he decided to teach you how to make a jump shot for that entire class period. You secretly thought it was his excuse to have his hands grip your waist, but you never said anything or questioned him about it—and you were quite a fan of his touch, so you weren’t really bothered knowing that he needed to always have his hands on you.

“I didn’t quite hear that, what did you say?”

You shook your head, hoping he would just drop the entire thing. Even if you were to lie and give him another excuse, Mark knew you like the back of his hand. You’d feel pathetic if he knew you lost your balance because your focus was directed on him and his ever-changing body. He could tell right off the bat when you weren’t being completely honest with him.

“I think my ankle is broken.”

He looked down at you and frowned. Mark has been playing sports long enough to know what a sprained ankle looked like. To his dismay, the area was bruised and swollen. Yeah—you definitely twisted your ankle. Good going y/n. You didn’t realize just how popular Mark was throughout the school until you heard almost all the staff currently in the office greet him. You were in a trance; completely mesmerized with how friendly and respectful the older boy was. It was one of the things you admired about him the most.

He had so much confidence in his personality and he had every right to—he was the actual sun in human form, radiating positive energy everywhere he went. The nurse smiled up at the two of you as soon as you both entered the room, but her smile was quickly replaced with a look of worry and concern when she saw the look of discomfort on your face.

“Hello Mark dear, what brings you two here today?” He gently placed you down on one of the beds and grazed your cheek with his thumb before turning back towards the elderly woman.

“Y/n tripped and fell in p.e. and she thinks she might have sprained her ankle. I also noticed a couple of cuts and bruises on her arms and her left knee.”

“Oh no—that’s not good, let me take a look.” She pulled a rolling chair over to where you were lying down and reached for your leg. “Do you mind if I take off your shoe?” You shook your head in disagreement and allowed her to examine your swollen foot. You looked up at Mark and gave him a sad smile when you saw that he was already looking at you.

If this was under different circumstances, your heart would’ve fluttered with the way he was looking at you, but the pain was unbearable. She had you prop your foot on a few pillows while she began inspecting just how much damaged your fall did to your leg. You couldn’t help but hiss at one particular lift of your leg—not once in your life would you have ever thought you’d twist your ankle—it was even harder to believe that your boyfriend was the reason.

Sure, you knew you were at fault; if you just did as you were told and completed your run, then there was a chance you wouldn’t be having to ice your ankle as you watched the nurse call your parents. However, you weren’t really all that upset and it was probably because deep down, you knew you’d do it again and again. All you ever wanted to do was take as much time as you could gazing at your boyfriend in adoration while mentally tracing out his charming features.

Whether or not he was there, you were sure that you’d get distracted by him one way or the other. Your mind would always drift off to him—sometimes even when you weren’t aware of it. Honestly, the hollow and empty feeling you would get when Mark wasn’t around and the indescribably warm and ardent feeling that built up in your chest as he held you in his arms was enough proof that he was your purpose; the reason why you’d wake up excited every single morning knowing that you’d get to see him later on that day.

Your mood for the entire day depended on whether or not you got to see or hear from him. If this was how you felt for the older boy as a pre-teen; still having yet to gain more knowledge about life and it’s many ups and downs, you were excited to see just how much better things would get for you and your boyfriend as the two of you got older. Mark motioned for you to sit up so that he could take his place behind you; he had you lay your head on top of his lap in the hopes of making you feel the least bit at ease. He began running his fingers gently through your hair; twirling some stands in between his fingers and smiled lovingly at you.

“Hey—I’m sure you don’t want to hear this right now, but can I be the first one to sign your cast? Ow—what? I’m being serious babe—with the amount of times you’ve hit me just now I find it hard to believe you’re in any pain at all. Fine, fine, fine. No jokes about your temporary disability. Although, I’m sure hopscotch would be all the more challenging now that you can only use one leg—you know what? I think it’s time for me to head back to class. It’s obvious that someone isn’t all that appreciative for carrying her all the way here—“

To his surprise, you made sure the nurse was still busy on the phone with your mom before you pulled at the collar of his shirt and smashed your lips all but innocently against his. However, right as he was about to deepen the kiss, you pulled your mouth away before things could escalate any further.

“I’m very thankful for all that you’ve done for me and continue to do for me. Not just today—for every day I’ve known you for. Thank you. I’m very grateful for you. You mean so much to me Mark, I don’t think I say it enough.”

You could tell your words visibly moved the older boy by the way he couldn’t stop the huge smile from occupying his entire face. While Mark was a boy of both words and actions, you didn’t think you were all that smart to actually form sentences to describe your feelings for him. Little did you know, on the rare occasions that you did express to Mark how happy you were being able to call him your boyfriend—each and every single word tug on his heartstrings.

God, he was so in love with you.

Just like how it always was when the two of you were together, you and Mark were too caught up in your own little worlds that you failed to hear what was going to happen to you. The nurse walked back over to you and your boyfriend from behind her desk and gave Mark a knowing look. You wouldn’t have been surprised if she caught you and Mark being affectionate—and honestly you were beginning to care less about your teachers and faculty members finding out that you and Mark were in a relationship.

If they weren’t too favorable towards the idea of middle school relationships, it wasn’t like they could really do anything about it anyway. Who were they—or anyone else for that matter able to tell you that your feelings were invalid because you were “still too young”? Love was valid for anyone and everyone of any age.

“Y/n, your mom is on her way to take you to the emergency room. I don’t want to scare you, but I think you might have to get surgery on your ankle or else that part of your foot will be permanently paralyzed. As for you Mr.Loverboy, I think your job here is done. Thank you for helping y/n out, but it’s time to head back to class.”

You quietly sighed to yourself at the thought of not having Mark with you while you went to the hospital. The thought of surgery didn’t worry you as much as it should have; needles, knives, blades and anything sharp never failed to make your skin crawl. However, you were too upset knowing that Mark wasn’t able to be there with you. You knew he’d be able to take away any feelings of anguish and despair just with his presence alone. He was quick to notice your sullen expression and brought his hand up to tenderly cup your cheek.

Other than your older brothers and hanging out with your boyfriend’s friends, Mark was the only boy you really got to learn about. You didn’t think teenage boys were capable of such compassion and tenderness, but Mark wasn’t a normal teenage boy. He put the feelings and well-being of others before himself. Sure, he loved playing video games, reading comic books and going to the park to practice his free throws, but none of that could compare to the sheer happiness you would bring him.

“You’re going to be just fine okay? It’ll be over before you know it. I’ll try my best to make it there to you, but if I can’t—please remind your mom to call me when it’s over? I hate the thought of you suffering. Forget froyo this time baby, I’ll buy you a whole gallon of ice cream. I’ll see you later, I love you.”

He felt extremely shy having to kiss you in front of any adult; even more so now that the nurse was aware of your relationship, but he wasn’t too sure when he was going to be able to see you next. Mark would lose all his sanity when it came to you. You just had that effect on him; but it was something he was very fond over.

He loved being in love with you.

“I—um—I’m sorry Mrs.Kim, do you think you could turn around?” His cheeks were red from having to ask such a question and he scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. The older lady giggled softly at his request and nodded in agreement before giving you and Mark your privacy. While grazing his thumb over your forehead, he lowered himself so that his lips were barely touching yours and finally did both of you a favor by connecting your lips together. His lips were soft and his kisses were gentle; he kept his hands to himself because he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave if he were to touch you.

Not wanting to get either of you in any trouble, he stole a few more fleeting kisses from the corner of your mouth before wishing the kind woman a nice day. “That boy must really like you. I’ve never seen someone his age so starry-eyed over a girl before. I must admit, the two of you are very cute together. I’m just assuming by your age that your parents have no idea about your relationship so—I guess it’ll be our little secret.”

You gave her a tired smile before murmuring a quiet “thank you.” As kind as she was, you were grateful when she left the room to talk with one of the other staff members. It was nice having people around, but you do enjoy the moments you had to yourself, by yourself. The only person you didn’t think you could ever get tired of being around was Mark, but that was a given.

Even if on some days he could joke around during the times he was supposed to be serious, no matter how much he could get on your nerves, you could never stay mad at him for too long. Almost fifteen minutes later, your mom was frantically storming through the office asking around for you; but once one of the counselors led her to the health room and she saw that you were taking a nap, she immediately relaxed and the nurse began to inform her of what happened.

Although it was expected, you needed to get surgery to help with the swelling and the tension. This also meant that you had to stay out of school for the rest of the school year. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy getting to stay home and having your siblings wait on you hand and foot. The only thing that really upset you was not getting to experience all the festivities that came at the end of the year. Mark in more or less words was an absolute angel.

He came to visit you after school was finished almost every single day. There were days that he even asked his mom to call him out sick so that he could tend to you as much as he possibly could. Both the Tuan family and your family were understanding when it came to the older boy going over to your house in order to spend time with you. Your sister let out snarky remarks and a couple of eyebrow raises here and there since she had a feeling what went on between you and Mark behind closed doors, but it was all in good fun.

You weren’t going to lie; it was extremely frustrating not being able to move around as much, Mark did whatever he could to help uplift your spirits and take your mind off of your leg. Once you and your mom arrived home the day after your surgery, your brothers were quick to want to write on your cast as soon as they realized you had one, but you were adamant on having Mark be the first one in doing so—even if you playfully threw punches at him when he brought up the idea.

“I can’t believe you actually let me write on here. I hope you feel better soon princess.-Mark”

He told you he wanted to write something more romantic but he didn’t want your parents getting suspicious as to what your real relationship with Mark was. From what he’s told both your mom and your dad and what they witnessed, he was like an older brother to you—and because he got the chance to watch you grow from this tiny, adorable kindergartener who was a Picasso in the making to the upcoming seventh grader who only grew prettier and sassier as she got older, they understood why he was so protective and so fond over you.

Over the course of a month and a half, you continued to do your school work at home; you kept your leg elevated on a couple of pillows and hardly ever left your bed unless you really had to. You were upset at the idea of not being able to witness Mark’s graduation, but you were even more worried knowing that he was moving on to high school. It didn’t really occur to you that your boyfriend was going to be a high school freshman—nor did you think that things were going to change in your relationship.

Nothing happened when Mark transferred over from Elementary school to Middle school and honestly, the distance helped your relationship thrive. If he was willing to walk twenty minutes in order to visit you two years ago when you were just about to move on to the fifth grade, and how he was eager to ditch both school and practice to give you any assistance you needing during your healing process, then you were sure nothing was going to change—or so you could hope. Your parents surprised you with a pair of crutches and informed you that your doctor said it was okay to get up and start moving around if you were physically and mentally ready to do so.

As much as your family loved helping you out, you understood that they all had their own things to worry about and having to tend to you practically every fifteen minutes was a lot to handle. You decided to keep it a surprise from Mark that you were going to be there for his graduation; your mom already told him that she didn’t feel like it was a good idea seeing as how you weren’t really ready to be mobile and the look of disappointment on his face really made both your stomach and heart ache. You never wanted to see Mark anything but happy. All he ever did was put others before himself; and the happiness of the ones he loved—you especially was his main focus.

You remember hearing a conversation between your sister and her boyfriend and he told her she deserved the entire world. For the entirety of that day, you tried to think about what exactly that meant. Instead of asking your sister in fear of her getting mad at you for eavesdropping, you asked your mom out of curiosity. It means that person really adores you and wants nothing but the best for you. That’s exactly how you felt about your boyfriend. Mark Tuan deserved the entire world on a silver platter and you were going to take the time to learn what you had to do in order to give it to him.

You did particularly enjoy knowing that he wanted you there—you would be upset if your favorite person just so happened to get injured and wasn’t able to see you on one of the most important days in your educational career. But it proved to you how important you were in Mark’s life. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware of how much Mark adored and thought the world of you. The older boy practically had it tattooed on his forehead. You just loved being reminded of the love you had for one another.

On the day of Mark’s graduation, you and your family picked up some gifts for him and planned on sitting a few rows back from the stage so he didn’t see you just yet. Hearing your principal describe Mark as such a hardworking, dedicated student who was so caring and quick to lend a hand to whoever needed it made you feel proud of him. Today was supposed to be a happy day for him, yet his smile didn’t completely reach his eyes and his shoulders were slumped. Your sister playfully nudged you knowing that you were the reason for his sullen demeanor.

Once the graduation ceremony was over, everyone made their way towards the football field in order to congratulate the graduates. It was hard to describe the feeling that built up in your chest when Mark’s eyes landed on you. Although his entire family came out to congratulate him, it was obvious he wasn’t all that happy and honestly, he looked as if he couldn’t wait till the entire thing was over. However, as soon as you came in to view, his jaw dropped and he wasted no time in running toward you and picked you up as if you were as light as a feather.

Neither of you even seemed to care about your crutches falling to the ground; he was just feeling so many different emotions in that moment to even bother about anything or anyone. Mark was extremely grateful that his grandparents flew all the way from Taiwan to come and see their grandson shift over to high school—graduation of any sorts was a huge milestone in their family—but he was most excited for your appearance. He didn’t even give himself time to think before smashing his lips against yours out of pure happiness.

“You came—I can’t believe it, you don’t know how much this means to me—God, you’re so amazing. I love you so much—“ If you didn’t hear the cough that you assumed came from your mom, you would’ve continued to kiss him; but it was in that moment that you realized you and Mark weren’t alone and he just gave away your relationship.

“Oh—I—um—I—I’m in love with your daughter. I hope you’re not mad.”

You didn’t even want to look at either of your parents; you were sure they either had looks of anger or disappointment on their faces and the last thing you ever wanted to do was go against their wishes. However—your relationship with Mark was the only thing you had no problem breaking your parent’s trust for. He whispered a mumbled apology in your ear and was right about to say something else, but your mom was quick to respond to his sudden outburst of love for you and her next few words shocked you.

“I know. I’ve actually known for a while now. You’re not particularly as discreet as the two of you probably think you are. I wanted y/n to be honest with me instead of forcing it out of her. You’re a good kid Mark. Although I still feel as if you both are too young to be dating, I see how much you care for my daughter and as a mother, that’s all I could ever want for her. You make y/n extremely happy. Thank you for taking care of her. With that being said, there will be some ground rules for your relationship—but we’ll talk about it another time. Congratulations again sweetheart.”

Your family stuck around for a couple more minutes—allowing you enough time to celebrate Mark’s big accomplishment. When your parents did decide it was time to go, you said your goodbyes to Mark and his family before leaving a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Congratulations again baby.”

You got an earful in the car while the six of you made your way back home, but you were just so content that you no longer had to hide your relationship with Mark from your parents any longer. It took one more month for your ankle to completely heal and for the rest of that summer, you and Mark found yourselves going anywhere and pretty much everywhere your hearts desired—well, anywhere your parents allowed you to go. One of their rules was that you had to be under adult supervision, but it was expected.

Your sister and oldest brother got a kick out of having to take you to the arcade or to the movies. The love you held for Mark continued to grow the more time you spent together. You learned something new about him every single day. His favorite color was blue—specifically navy. He loves ketchup but hates tomatoes and his favorite tv show was Full House. Sure, any time spent with your boyfriend never failed to send you over the moon, even if the two of you were doing nothing at all.

You’d rather do nothing with him than to do something so exciting with anyone else. But it was in the moments where he’d tell you his dreams and worries for the future that you savored the most. Knowing how introverted Mark could be, it must’ve took him a lot of courage to tell you about his fears and doubts and to trust you with his deepest secrets. Your seventh and eighth grade years went by in the blink of an eye. If you were being honest, you didn’t particularly care of any of it.

There wasn’t much excitement that came with middle school and you couldn’t wait to move on to the next chapter of your education. Mark raved about how exciting high school was. He claimed it was the most fun he’s had in his eleven years of being in school. There was more freedom for High school students; they could eat lunch wherever they wanted, they no longer had to wear uniforms, there were more sports that Mark wanted to get involved in and there were a lot more places on campus that he could study at other than the library.

To your dismay, your fears of growing distant with Mark came true as soon as he started high school. Being the adventurous and athletic guy he has always been, it was only natural for him to join practically ever single sport his school had to offer. High school sports were a lot more different than middle school. The athletes were expected to give all their time and effort in to the sport that they played; this meant more of Mark’s time spent on the field and in the gym and less time with you.

You only really got to see him on the weekends and you tried your best to show that it didn’t bother you—but you did worry that he would one day forget about you completely. There was a point where you wondered if you and Mark should take a break; you were at that age where you understood how to manage someone’s priorities and what needed to come first. It took a while to accept it, but you were no longer Mark’s main priority and it did hurt you—but there was no way you’d allow yourself to interfere with that part of Mark’s life.

What really made you sad was that Mark didn’t think anything was wrong—but why would he? He was too busy experiencing the dream life; he became captain of the baseball team only a month after he joined. He was the first freshman to ever be captain and you were elated that he was having a good experience so far. However, you couldn’t stop the tiny voice in your head telling you that Mark was better off without you. It was something that began to plague you more and more each day.

The last thing you ever wanted to do was be a burden to your boyfriend. On the days you did get to hang out with him, all your worries seemed to disappear. Mark was extremely apologetic with not being able to see you as often and he did remind you that he hated not getting to spend time with you. That’s the reason why you allowed yourself to stay with him. With time, you knew things would get better.

It wasn’t like he was purposely ignoring you—when he did have free time, he always called you and sent you text messages to see how you were doing. The effort he put in, no matter how tired he probably was never failed to tug on your heartstrings. You loved Mark and you knew he loved you. That’s all you really needed. After what felt like forever, you finally completed middle school and made your way in to High school. Mark was more than happy to welcome you with open arms and to show you around the campus.

On your first day of school, he barely even gave you two seconds to take in your surroundings before introducing you to his group of friends. They all seemed to be very friendly and outgoing; they were quick to offer you help if ever you needed it. Your boyfriend was extremely excited now that he was going to see you more; and he began planning out so many things with you. He was quite the gentleman; seeing as how he got his license back in his sophomore year, he would pick you up from school every morning and if he had the time, he would drop you back home.

He would walk you to class and even waited outside so that he could go with you to lunch or to your next class. His friends would tease him about it, but he would even feed you out of habit. You were able to attend some of his practices and even a couple of his games and it didn’t take you long to understand why Mark enjoyed being in High school so much. There was just a lot to get involved in and be excited for. At least once a month, there were pep rallies held and it was always so much fun.

Your High school was also very supportive and involved when it came to sports. The seats would always fill up at a lot of Mark’s tournaments and you knew seeing all those people in the crowd gave him the motivation to do his best. His friend Jackson joked around about you wearing his jersey so that girls would know he was in a relationship and back off. You didn’t know that your boyfriend had girls chasing after him, but you weren’t surprised.

He was a sight to behold; plus, he was so gentle and sweet. He was soft spoken and just so happened to be the MVP for both the basketball and football teams. Every time you attended one of his games, your cheeks would get sore from how many times you would smile hearing all these people cheer him on. He was quite the popular guy, but he always was. Mark stood out from the crowd whereas you believed you blended in, but not in a good way.

It wasn’t until Jackson made that comment did you find yourself observing the way that other girls would look at him or interact with him. A lot of these girls were very pretty—prettier than you thought you were and you soon grew very insecure about being the lucky person who Mark was in love with. You felt as if you needed to change your look to impress him—you didn’t think skinny jeans, band tees and converse shoes were going to cut it anymore.

Most of these girls wore dresses, curled their hair and put on makeup. It was only a matter of time that Mark would come to the realization that he wanted someone more mature who actually took care of themselves. You were too focused on having to worry about other girls that you failed to notice Mark never batted an eye at any girl that would approach him. His heart has been yours since the day he approached you over ten years ago.

You were the most beautiful girl in his eyes and you’ve captivated him in ways that he never thought he was capable of experiencing. Mark believed he was one of the lucky ones. It’s rare to hear about couples who started dating when they were really young that were still together. Mark knew even at seven years old that you were going to be someone very special in his life.

Actually, he was growing irritated every time a girl would come up to him because he made it very clear with how he would always hold your hand or wrap his arm around your shoulder that he was in a relationship. At first, he did like the attention he was receiving for his athletic talents—but when it came to romantic feelings, you were the only person he wanted to receive attention from. He did feel bad letting girls down, but he was more afraid of you growing insecure if you were to see just how many girls had a crush on him.

There was nothing you had to be insecure about—nobody held a candle to you. There’s a saying, “nobody’s perfect”—Mark believed it was complete and utter bullshit. You were nothing less than perfect in his eyes. As soon as he received a team jacket with his last name and number on the back, he gave it to you and asked you to wear it so that everybody in school knew that he was yours and that you were his. You never gave him any reason to be jealous—you only made three friends and even then, they weren’t ones that you’d spend time with other than when you had class with them.

You were always with Mark and his friends and you’ve grown very close to them in a matter of days. Your freshman year was a great start to your high school experience and as excited as you were to become a sophomore, you weren’t excited knowing that this was Mark’s last year in High school. He never told you his exact plans once he were to graduate, but you did hear his mom talking on the phone with his grandmother one day when you were at his house and you heard her mention that he was looking at a University in Massachusetts that specialized in engineering. You asked him about it a few times; out of sheer curiosity but he always seemed to redirect the question as if he didn’t want to answer it.

A part of you felt as if you deserved to know—it was just as much your future as it was his, but you didn’t want him to get annoyed with your continuous pestering. In your first semester, health was your first class and to your delight, BamBam and Yugyeom had it during the same period. It was nice seeing familiar faces and Mark’s friends always make you feel so safe. However, you were soon regretting your excitement when your teacher began covering sex. You and Mark had yet to get intimate and honestly, sex wasn’t something you were all that interested in just yet.

In fact, from what you’ve learned in class so far, you were terrified. BamBam and Yugyeom always made dirty comments about you and Mark—they even had the audacity to ask if you guys did it yet. You ignored them because it wasn’t any of their business, but you couldn’t help to wonder if they asked Mark and what he said about it. Did he want to have sex? He had to at least thought about it once or twice; you learned in health that boys desire sex earlier than girls do.

There were a few instances where your make out sessions would get a little too heated and Mark would excuse himself to go use the bathroom. It didn’t make sense to you why he always seemed to have to pee whenever the two of you would kiss, but after taking health, you realized that he wasn’t in the bathroom for the reason you thought he was. The more you learned about sex, the more curiosity ate at your conscience. Was it as amazing as people claimed it out to be? Did it hurt as much as you felt it would? What happens after the first time a girl has sex? It didn’t take too long for your curiosity to get the best of you and you wanted to know your boyfriend’s outlook on it.

One night, you were sleeping over the Tuan’s residence in order to keep your boyfriend company. His family went to Taiwan for his cousin’s wedding but because he had a tournament, he wasn’t able to go. At first, your parents were hesitant to let you stay over because they didn’t like the thought of you and Mark being alone—but they trusted you and they trusted your boyfriend. Sometimes more than they trusted you.

The two of you were cuddling up on his bed, watching a movie; his thumb was gently grazing your thigh and you didn’t think much of it. Skin ship was something normal in your relationship and this wasn’t the first time he had his hand on your leg. However, there was a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’ve never experienced before. You felt as though you wanted him to bring his fingers higher up to where there was now a warm and tingling sensation. Neither of you expected it, but a sex scene came on out of no where and it felt awkward watching the two characters naked and pressed up against one another.

You could tell it was also affecting Mark with the way he sat up and pulled his hand away from you. You decided that you would use this time to ask him the question that’s been on your mind the day your class was learning how to put a condom on a wooden penis.

“Hey Mark?”

He paused the movie before turning towards you—giving you his full attention. You quickly picked up on how red his ears were and it was something you’ve discovered would happen when he was either embarrassed or flustered. He hummed in curiosity before bringing his hand up to your cheek.

“Do you—have you ever—do you want to have sex?”

The fit of coughs that fell from his throat made you feel like a child; stupid BamBam and Yugyeom for telling you that sex was a natural way of life and that Mark told them that the two of you already had sex on multiple occasions. You’ve been with Mark long enough to know he wouldn’t do such a thing. Whatever went on with you and Mark stayed between the two of you. He was just as defensive when it came to his privacy. He looked at you in shock before taking his hand off of your cheek and bringing it up in to his hair.

“Wait—what? Sex? Are you asking me—I mean—right now? Wait—sex? You want to have sex—please correct me if I’m wrong babe—are you insinuating that you want to have sex or—where is this coming from—“

It was always a sight to see whenever Mark would get shy or flustered if you were the cause behind it. He was eighteen years old now and it made you laugh that even as an adult, he still had his childlike qualities to him. You could only hope he’d continue to be a child at heart because you’ve grown to learn that sometimes life isn’t all that kind to us and we tend to lose track of ourselves if we become too serious. Mark looked as if he was on the verge of a mental breakdown; so you crawled over to him and did the unthinkable—you sat on his lap and wrapped your legs about his back while you brought your hands around his neck.

You were well aware that you were stepping in to new territory. This was the closest you’ve ever been to your boyfriend and it was a closeness you were quickly growing to enjoy.

“I’m sorry—I didn’t mean for it to sound like I’m asking you straight out to fuck right now—“

“Woah, language missy—“

You playfully rolled your eyes before thumping his forehead for interrupting your confession. “I was just curious if you wanted to have sex—theoretically. We’re learning about sexual intercourse in class right now and I just—I don’t know. I’m sure you have your needs and desires or carnal urges as my teacher refers it to—you’ll be going off to college soon so I was just wondering if it ever crossed your mind that you wanted to have sex—and if you’d want to do it with me.”

Your last words caused him to look at you as if you grew another head. He couldn’t process the idea that you felt he would want to have sex with anyone else other than you. Once he finally decided to take a look at you and saw you biting your lip in anticipation of his response, he all but gently gripped at your chin and pulled you in to a searing kiss. He playfully licked a few stripes against your bottom lip and nibbled on the top teasingly before pulling away.

“Look at me.”

This all felt like deja vu. You were reminded of the day back in elementary when you confessed your feelings for Mark and refused to look up at him. You could feel your heart racing because of the proximity and because you knew he was probably going to be upset with the fact that you were questioning his future plans.

“Babe, you’re crazy to think there’s ever going to be anyone else in my life for me to do anything with other than you. I’ve loved you and I’ve been in love with you for over ten years now. You’re stuck with me y/n. I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. You silly girl—why would you even think I’d want to do something so important with anyone else? You’re my person baby—my soulmate. Yes, I’ve been thinking about sex a lot these days—especially because I can never seem to take my hands or eyes off of you. You only get more and more beautiful as you get older and it’s getting harder for me to resist wanting to finally relish in our love together in that way. I just wanted to wait for when you were ready. I’m sure the idea of losing your virginity is scarier as a girl than it is for a guy—but just know that when that time comes, I’m going to take such good care of you okay? Wait—BamBam and Yugyeom didn’t set you up to this did they?”

It was your turn to look at him in confusion and he giggled softly at your expression. You wouldn’t have been surprised if they did talk to him about what they’ve been bugging you about for the last three weeks. They were all guys; you were sure they were all excited talking about their sexual lives amongst each other. It was something you assumed all guys did.

“Those assholes weren’t bothering you too much about were they? I’ll kick their asses if they ever made you feel uncomfortable. They told me they had class with you and then they began asking me all kinds of questions about our sex life and if we did it yet. I guess for guys, it’s a competition to see who does it the youngest or the most—it’s really stupid if you ask me. Sex is supposed to be romantic—making love to someone is more than just penetration and reaching an orgasm. It’s two people connecting on a spiritual and intimate level. Sex is just a body count to the guys; to me it’s something so special. To be honest with you, it doesn’t matter how old we are when we both agree to have sex—just know that I’ll wait however long you need me to baby.”

With the way he was looking at you so lovingly; holding so much tenderness in his eyes, you were just seconds away from saying fuck it and giving him what he’s been wanting for some time now. Like Mark said—sex was more meaningful than what a lot of people painted it out to be. You didn’t really look at it like that, but hearing him speak so passionately about it sent off a burning sensation in your chest. A part of you was very nervous, but it was expected. You were still learning about your lower region—hell, you were still getting used to menstruating. You didn’t think you were desiring sex as of right now but that was because you didn’t understand it completely. You didn’t know what took over your body in that moment, but you found yourself leaving sloppy kisses along Mark’s jaw while running both your hands through his soft, curly locks. He let out a soft sigh and his hands made their way down to your lower waist.

“Baby, what are you—“

“It’s time we get BamBam and Yugyeom off our backs. Let’s give them something to talk about shall we? I—I want to be one with you Mark. I don’t want you thinking I’m doing this for your sake; I’ve actually have grown curious to see what sex is actually like and I’ve always wanted to take things further in a sense with you. I trust you Mark—with my entire being. I’m safest with you. I’m yours if you’ll have me baby.” The noise that came from the back of his throat wasn’t one you’ve heard before. It was a mixture of a growl and what you assumed was a moan—it was extremely sexy.

“Fuck—I—you’re otherworldly you know that? I love you so much—so so much. I got you y/n. I’m gonna take really good care of you okay? Just tell me if it hurts or if you want to stop okay? I’m so fucking excited.”

The laugh that fell from your lips hearing how eager he was to finally make love to you was natural. He was so adorable—what did you do to deserve him? It was a question you always seemed to ask yourself even after a decade of knowing him for. You didn’t doubt that he was going to be gentle with you during the process of taking away your innocence. It was obvious that he was nervous—he had no idea what to do himself. This was going to be a learning experience for the both of you.

As he reconnected his lips with yours and tightened his grip on your waist, you could feel the adrenaline running through your bones. You were about to give yourself—your body, mind and soul to the breathtakingly beautiful boy in front of you. Your relationship was going to change but you knew it was in a good way. Goosebumps began to rise on your skin with every graze against your arm and every moan he hummed against your lips. There was a fire building up inside of you that you were dying to put out and you had yet to learn what it was exactly. Less than five minutes in to your steamy make out session, you felt something hard press up against your thigh and the feeling made you giggle. “Mmm—Mark—“

He pulled away gently in fear that he was doing something wrong. Your sudden mumbling made him worry; was he taking things too fast? “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just—every single time we’ve made out in the past—you’d leave to use the bathroom. You never actually used the bathroom while you were in there—did you?” He shook his head in disagreement while a cheeky smirk rose on his face.

“I’m gonna tell you this right now; I get hard just by the thought of you alone baby. So anytime you touch me, hug me or kiss me—I get kind of excited, if you know what I mean.” The two of you laughed at how blunt he could be but the playful banter was quick to end as soon as he felt you palming him through his sweats.

“Shit y/n—“

You continued your movements while bringing your face in the crook of his neck. Everything about your boyfriend was so flawless; so pretty. His skin was so soft and milky—his neck was long and you wanted nothing more than to leave love bites along his nape, letting everyone know his bed was spoken for. You grazed your teeth right above his collar bone and absentmindedly began grinding your self against his hardened member. You must’ve been doing something right with how he was helping guide you along his girth and by the way he was growing vocal the longer you continued.

He brought his hands up in to your shirt and you shivered at how cold his fingertips felt against your skin. When he started to play with your bra, you had an idea of what he wanted to do and so you unclasped it in one swift movement—taking it off and flinging it somewhere in the room. You then brought his hands up from your lower back to your breasts and squeezed them all but lightly. It was your turn to let out a moan—the feelings of his hands gripping on your perky mounds only made the coil in your stomach tighten. You never really thought much about your boobs; they were a part of women bodies—you weren’t someone who necessarily obsessed over them.

There were girls in your p.e. class that would compare their bra sizes and some of them would grow excited if they noticed their boobs got bigger. You didn’t think you had the biggest breasts ever, but then again you were still going through puberty. What you had thought may not have been big in your eyes as a completely different story with your boyfriend.

He never had the guts to admit it to you, but there were times where he had to force his stare away from your chest. It was as if your breasts grew overnight and he wasn’t complaining at all. Every time you wore a tight shirt to school, he had to bite back his tongue. He loved every single thing about you; but your breasts were now one of his favorite body parts of yours. He began to show love to your mounds—massaging and kneading them while pinching and twisting your nipples. Right as you were going to make a comment to get him to continue his movements, he playfully jiggled both your breasts and earned himself a punch on the shoulder.

“Ow—what was that for? I’ve been dreaming about the day I got to play with these pretty titties of yours. They’re so big and bouncy—you know, I’ve heard from some of my friends that it’s normal for women to be rough during sex but I don’t think this is what they meant. Having you hit me isn’t the way I’d be getting bruises tonight. Fine, fine—I’ll stop. You’re no fun. I hope you know I plan on fondling and playing with these every time I get the chance so start getting use to it. Would it be okay if—I um—can I take off your shirt now?”

Did he really go from confidently playing with your breasts to shyly asking if he could take your shirt off? He was so whipped for you. As soon as you pulled your shirt off and tossed it to the side, his mouth widened in shock. It was one thing to cup and fondle your sensitive buds, but it was another thing to actually look at them. How were you so perfect? There was absolutely no flaw on you.

“Close your mouth Tuan, you’ll catch flies.” You knew he was about to retaliate so you decided to tug at his shirt with every intention of him discarding it.

“Someone’s eager.” He wiggled his brows contently.

“Shut up.” One by one, every piece of clothing was now scattered throughout his room. What you felt as you gazed at him with nothing but his underwear on was hard to fathom in to words—sure, you’ve seen him shirtless whenever the two of you would go to the pool, the beach or after practice but this was the first actual time you’d be seeing him naked and bare.

“You’re so hot.”

His cheeks grew pink at your compliment—anytime you were to tell him how handsome, intelligent, talented and hardworking he was never failed to fluster the older boy and you would purposely say or do whatever you could to see him so bashful.

“Well—then, that must make you fucking sexy. You’re so breathtakingly beautiful my love. God, your body is a wonderland. I can’t wait to be inside of you—ah, hold on. I’ll be right back.”

A smirk rose on your face watching him practically run out the door as your eyes fell to his cute little butt. It wasn’t really hitting you that you were just moments away from losing your virginity; you were now more excited and ready to give yourself completely to your boyfriend. What should have been some of the most nerve-wracking minutes of your life waiting for him to return and being alone with your thoughts were eerily calm. Less than a minute later, he came in with a tiny piece of foil in his hands and from your lessons in health, you were sure it was a condom. He held it up as if it was a trophy of some sort and the concept caused you to giggle.

“I had to dig in my parent’s drawer for this. It’s fucking gross thinking that they’re still doing it at their age—“

“Only you could ruin a sexual moment with such an unnecessary comment. Just hurry up, put the damn thing on and fuck me already. I’m going insane here.”

“Wow, never in all my years of knowing and loving you would I have ever thought you had such a naughty mouth on you. I love it. Your wish is my command baby.”

He made his way on to the bed, crawling towards where you were waiting for him up against the headboard. You kept your eyes on his—he held so much emotion in them. Lust, excitement, happiness, worry, nervousness—losing your virginity was a huge deal and he wanted to make sure you had an amazing experience. Right as he took his underwear off and you saw his hardened erection, you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh.

It wasn’t because of his size—no, definitely not. You didn’t have anything or anyone to compare him to, but he was extremely big in your opinion. His cock was long and pretty girthy; you didn’t know how it was supposed to fit inside of you but you were so ready to finally find out.

“Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy hearing that contagious laughter of yours—especially when I’m the reason behind it. But I don’t know how I feel hearing you laugh right after I pull out my dick.”

“It’s not—I’m not—it’s just—penises are really ugly.”

“Babe seriously?”

“What? I’m being honest. Yours is an exception though. I guess it’s attractive? M—Mark stop! Please—I’m—sorry—babe!!”

He was quick to pin you to the bed with one hand while tickling your sides with the other. You didn’t think sex—or what you were told was foreplay could be all that humorous, but it was your fault you were so ticklish. Thankfully, Mark seem to have read your mind and placed a sloppy kiss the corner of your mouth. Hearing him rip apart the conform wrapper brought your attention to his pelvis and you could physically feet your throat choke up.

He kept eye contact with you as he rolled the thin rubber on to his cock. You had a feeling he was more nervous than you were; his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and his movements were shaky. Once it was finally on, he lined himself up against what he believed was your entrance. His lips were rough against yours—his tongue was needy; the need to kiss you with so much passion and fervor was all he could think about.

“Ready baby?” You gave him a gentle smile—hoping you weren’t underestimating him and what he was capable of.

“Remember, if it hurts or if you want to stop, just let me know.” Since you were well aware that he was right about to make his way inside of your soaking walls, you took in a deep breath to calm yourself down. However, the penetration you were expecting never came.

“Wait, what the hell? Where’s the hole?” This earned him a look of confusion and you had to cry out in laughter—honestly you were growing to believe that tonight wasn’t going to end the way you anticipated it would.

“Y/n, I’m gonna need you to help guide me, I have no idea where your vagina is.”

It took your boyfriend almost five minutes to finally line himself at your core—two of those minutes were filled with laughter and snarky comments; more so from you about how unprepared the two of you really were but it made tonight all the more memorable. He kissed you with all the passion and energy he had in his body and it wasn’t until you felt him finally make his way in to your pussy did you understand why he did that.

The stretch was exceedingly uncomfortable; more uncomfortable than it was painful, but still. It felt as though someone was pushing their hand down on your clit with so much pressure and it wasn’t a feeling you particularly cared for. Your boyfriend—just like he always seemed to in every single situation picked up on your uneasiness. He brought one hand up to cup your cheek as the other was placed in to your hair.

“You okay?”

“Mhm, just a little uncomfortable. How are you feeling?”

“Incredible. You’re so fucking tight and you’re practically soaking.”

“Is that a good thing?” He nodded adamantly and smiled at your innocence.

“Well, it feels fucking insane. You feel so amazing. I—uh—please tell me when I can move. You feel so good baby—but like I said, I’m not doing anything until you give me permission. Tonight is all about you.”

After you non-verbally gave him the okay to quicken his movements, he started to pump himself in and out of you. You weren’t going to lie; the first couple of thrusts felt like hell and you were worried that there was a chance he could have been doing something wrong since it was his first time also. But soon, the pain turned to pleasure—sweet, fervent pleasure. You both began to moan together in unison at how wonderful it felt.

There were so many kisses shared between the two of you—some rough and needy while others were sensual and feather-light. His thrusts only fastened and grew harder the longer you continued your love making session. Countless love confessions, sweet nothings and dirty fantasies were thrown back and forth to each other.

All-in-all, it had to be one of the best nights in your entire life. Albeit a little clumsy and hesitant at some points, Mark fulfilled his promise of allowing things to escalate at your pace and ultimately taking good care of you. You could tell he was holding back a lot of the time not wanting to harm you if he acted on his desires. Once you both reached your highs, Mark left you for a little while and came back with a wash cloth and a water bottle. You were too exhausted after spending almost two hours exploring the depths of one another.

Mark loved on your body like a man starved; he left multiple hickeys across of your chest and on your lower stomach. After cleaning you up, putting one of his shirts on you and giving you a pair of his underwear while he also got prepared for bed, he took his place right next to you. His arms were wrapped tightly around your waist while he placed his cheek against yours.

“So, is sex everything you could ever hope it out to be?” He beamed down at you while furiously nodding his head.

“It was so much better than I was already expecting it to be. You were perfect baby. That had to be one of the best experiences I’ve had ever. I’m gonna have to make love to you at least ten times a week from now on. God—I can’t even describe in to words how much I love feeling you wrapped around me and how beautiful you look right as you were about to come. How was it for you though? I didn’t hurt you too much did I?”

You shook your head and left a quick kiss right above his eyebrow. Less than twenty minutes ago, he was pounding his dick inside of you as if he had vengeance against you. Now he was treating you as though you were such a delicate flower. Mark Tuan—always the charmer.

“No, not at all. That was honestly so mind blowing and I know it’s because you were trying your best to make sure I was having a good time. You always put others before yourself and tonight was no exception. I’m also going to second that notion—I love how you stretch me out. It felt so good. I love loving you and being loved by you. Thank you baby.”

From that night on, you and Mark had a sexual awakening. Whenever you had the chance, the two of you would relish in your love no matter where it was. There were countless times where you’d find yourself sucking him off in a janitor’s closet or being pressed up against the lockers in the boys locker room; Mark took advantage as team captain having access to the keys and took you up against every surface the locker room had to offer.

Unfortunately the closer Mark got to graduating, the more time he took signing up for scholarships, applying to many different collages, taking up as much extra credit as he could and completing his senior project. He finally admitted to you that he had no plans on staying in your town for college. The only thing holding him back was the thought of leaving you.

All he really wanted was to stay with you and wait until you finished graduating so you could both attend the same college together, but you refused to let him give up on his dreams and being able to experience better opportunities that your small town didn’t have to offer. You knew there were so many colleges out there with better sports teams and even better choices of majors that he could choose from.

Mark always wanted to be either an architect or an engineer and you were very supportive of each and every one of his endeavors. However, you hated overthinking what would happen to your relationship if he did get accepted to a university in a different state. You knew the love you had for one another was undefeatable; indestructible.

Deep down in your heart you believed your relationship with Mark wouldn’t falter even with 5,000 miles in between the two of you. But the doubt that weighed heavy on your heart taunted you—what if he were to get frustrated with the distance? What if he didn’t want to be alone and found someone new at his university? What if he decided that your love didn’t mean as much to him anymore? You tried your best to stop the negative thoughts from taking over, but he was never around anymore to prove otherwise?

As dramatic as it sounds, if you were to lose Mark, you’d probably die of a broken heart. He loved you more than life itself; there was no doubt about it—but sometimes love just wasn’t enough. It was the last semester and you secretly wanted the days to go by slower to prolong Mark’s stay. You couldn’t help but feel selfish wanting him to change his mind about leaving you—but you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself knowing you were the one to prevent him from having a fun college experience.

You were currently in science class; everything your teacher was explaining about mixing carbon dioxide with hydrogen peroxide went through one ear and out the other. Thankfully, your lab station was in the far back, so she wasn’t able to catch you texting your boyfriend about your plans to hangout after school. You didn’t even realize she stopped speaking until you heard a different voice—one much deeper and obviously belonging to someone younger. This caught your attention; it wasn’t one of your classmates—you’ve been with them for five months now, you would have recognized them immediately.

When you looked up to see who it was, your eyebrows raised for reasons you didn’t quite understand. He had to be a new student; you don’t remember seeing him once on campus and although your school was enormous, he had a distinct look to him that stood out. His face was sharp and so were his eyes. There were two tiny freckles right below his left eyebrow, his hair was dark and just below his ears. His skin was pale and he had extremely broad shoulders.

You had to admit, he was very good-looking—but you’ve become desensitized to anyone other than your boyfriend. Something about Mark—well, many things about Mark drove you to the brink of insanity and you didn’t think there was anyone who could set your bones on fire like he did.

“Everyone, this is Im Jaebeom. He is a foreign exchange student from South Korea. He plans on staying with us for the next two years, so be nice to him, introduce yourselves to him and try to make him feel welcome. Jaebeom dear, you can take a seat at the empty chair next to y/n in the back.”

When his eyes landed on you, he sent a flirty smile your way and gave you a wink. He placed his bag on top of the table and took his seat next to you. Your eyes were quick to land on his hand that was now right in front of your face.

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you y/n. I look forward to having you in class.”

Yeah, you were screwed.

#got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan #mark tuan imagines #got7 mark

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burningdarkfire · 3 years

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books i read in dec 2021

[these are all short + casual reviews - feel free to msg me and ask about individual ones if u want a full review or ask for my goodreads!!]

i tried to do a challenge in december where i finished a book on every weekday and i succeeded until dec 16 after which i gave up and read at roughly my regular pace 🤷‍♂️

these violent delights - micah nemerever ★★★★★ (romance thriller)

there are a lot of stunning lines in this book but funnily enough the one that gave me the largest gut punch was in the acknowledgement where micah nemerever wrote that “what this story records, ultimately, is the deep fear i once carried about my loneliness and what it could do.” this book knows the old and ugly parts of myself that i haven’t even thought about in years because i knew it was necessary to grow out of them. this book understands what it means to feel that if i love someone, i want them dead. i’ll be thinking about it for a while to come

graceling - kristin cashore ★★★★★ (YA fantasy)

i’m so happy to finally reread this! this was a foundational book for me and it’s aged spectacularly. katsa and po are one of my favourite couples of all time and katsa herself is everything i wish i could be

network effect - martha wells ★★★★★ (scifi)

i only had to read seven entries in the series but i am finally in love with murderbot! the payoff of the longer word count of network effort is so good and worthwhile. i loved seeing how murderbot’s relationships with all the recurring characters have grown over time and parts of this book were just so sweet. definitely bumps the series up to a “must-recommend” for me

fireheart tiger - aliette de bodard ★★★★☆ (fantasy novella)

it’s tempting to say that this novella is mostly metaphor but tbh i think that doesn’t quite do it justice. there’s an obvious abstract level of meaning-making, yes, but that’s true for any romance, because the systems we live under also impact the love and understanding we have with each. i liked the complexity here!

the last wish - andrzej sapkowski, trans. danusia stok ★★★★☆ (fantasy short story collection)

this book was weird because i never wanted to pick it up while reading it but i still think about it like every other day even a month later. i find this original geralt to be interesting, much more so than the show, and i’m definitely going to read more of the series (i also adore dandelion, which honestly surprised me)

catboy - eric walters ★★★★☆ (contemporary children’s lit)

this was a super cute book by a local author that has all of the usual life lessons about multiculturalism, caring for others, helping your parents, how condos are evil, etc. y’know, the usual!

fugitive telemetry - martha wells ★★★★☆ (scifi novella)

middle of the pack for murderbot novellas i think. not much to say about it

the magicians - lev grossman ★★★☆☆ (fantasy)

quentin coldwater has to be the quintessential unlikable protagonist. he’s so fucking miserable and this book is so goddamn awful to read, but like, i get it. i get why he is the way he is, and worse, i can relate. really this book is wonderfully written and i think succeeds very much in doing what it wants to do, but that makes the reading experience so painful lol

aptitude - cooper shrivastava ★★★☆☆ (scifi short story) the wonderful stag, or the courtship of red elsie - kathleen jennings ★★★☆☆ (fantasy short story) now we paint worlds - matthew kressel ★★★☆☆ (scifi short story) black leg - glen hirshberg ★★★☆☆ (horror short story)

the above were four tor shorts that i read while struggling to finish the magicians. honestly none of them stood out to me so they don’t get individual reviews

queen of volts - amanda foody ★★★☆☆ (YA fantasy)

this was an OK end to a trilogy that was really frustrating overall. i’ve kept reading these books despite the problems because the world was so interesting, but in this final book nothing stood out (for better or worse). i’ll probably avoid amanda foody’s books in the future though - it’s obvious her writing style isn’t for me because i find it painfully overdramatic

the kind worth killing - peter swanson ★★☆☆☆ (thriller)

i don’t even like strangers on a train that much but it feels like an insult to associate this book with it. just a typical whatever thriller

the love hypothesis - ali hazelwood ★★☆☆☆ (romance)

sorry i’m a huge snob and i couldn’t deal with how trope-y this entire book was 💀 i can’t stand main characters who refuse to communicate and i also hate reading anything but especially romance/porn that makes a huge deal out of the characters’ size difference (and the cringiness of that conversation about virginity haunts me). also the way i literally could not stop thinking about adam driver/kylo ren while reading. no thanks!

ace of spades - faridah àbíké-íyímídé ★★☆☆☆ (YA thriller)

this is literally how we fall apart by katie zhao but with the opposite problem when it came to intersectionality. all of my complaints are the same: the writing is childish, the characters aren’t believable, and the overlooking of class as a factor landed wrong. i wanted to DNF this so badly but i kept hoping it would get better since this book has been so hyped on social media. nope!

#my posts #books #liveblogging books #reading wrap up

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padfootagain · 4 years

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Girl Crush (I)

Chapter One : Gardenias In Crisis

And here I go again with a new story. Am I desperate case? Absolutely. For my defence, I have around ten chapters written for this story already, so might as well post it on here…

Am I writing for someone new again? Yep… can't you see me walking around dressed as a clown? Blame the quarantine for my helpless fall for Harry (yes, I was lost before that, but shush!).

Anyway, I hope you like this story, which is gonna be wildly cute and wildly angsty, the perfect recipe for a romantic series worthy of a good old rom com!

No warnings for this chapter except for outrageous cuteness and a tiny mention of blood (but in nothing dramatic, it's just a scratch).

I really hope you like this! First chapter of a new series AND first time writing for Harry Styles, so please, tell me what you think about it!

Word Count : 3110

You were running.

Literally running around the whole place.

These gardenias in your hands were delicate plants, but you had so much practice in carrying them while hurrying to and fro that you had no worries about breaking them. You had found the perfect stance to protect them while running by now. And it was very efficient.

Which was how you were now running down a flight of stairs with your arms full of these white flowers.

You still had three tables to decorate before the whole venue would be filled with the guests of the wedding. Someone famous was apparently getting married. Who? You had forgotten that detail, and didn't exactly care. Your boss was the one in charge of the clients, you were only there as their apprentice, and for now, it meant making bouquets and carrying plants around. Considering that it was your first job in the business, you didn't complain and on the contrary, you reckoned that you were lucky to be under Mary's wing. She was strict, too much to your liking sometimes, but at the end of the day she didn't have a bad heart and was more than talented. She was right when she told you that flowers were a tough business. You needed to learn as much as you could by her side, and you intended to do just that, even if it meant that for now you weren't allowed to take decisions, just to carry things around and reproduce the bouquets Mary had created.

You put down the gardenias at the centre of one of the tables, arranging the plant to make it a little prettier and display all the blooming flowers. You checked the rest of the table, but everything was in order.

Only two trips left to go to fill up these two tables at the back that for now remained empty, and you would be done. Then, you had to find Mary to check with her that everything was to her liking, and correct whatever details she thought could be improved.

You swept away the sweat that had gathered on your forehead, and took a couple of seconds to breathe deeply, calming your racing heart. You threw a glance at this staircase you would have to climb up and down again, and found a new burst of hate for stairs growing through your veins that, without a doubt, would follow you even after this job was done.

But you had to go back to work, so you toddled off to the truck once more, picked up more gardenias and headed to the venue for what felt like the thousandth time.

You were out of breath by now, but it didn't stop you from hurrying. You didn't have much time left, and everything had to be perfect for when the guests would be moving in the large mansion. For now, they were in the garden, but you didn't have much time left, and you didn't dare to imagine what Mary would shout at you if you fucked up at a celebrity's wedding, surely she would…

BANG!

Your train of thoughts was stopped as a vivid pain crossed your side, then your lower back, then the palm of your left hand and finally the back of your head.

What on earth had just happened?

"Ouch! Are you alright?"

A strong English accent rose from what seemed to be thin air. That was when you realized that you weren't standing anymore. Instead, you were lying on the marble floor, the cold from the stones now flooding through your frame.

"Hey, are you okay?" the voice asked again, but you couldn't focus enough to answer, nor even to truly analyse the words that were spoken to you.

You felt dizzy, and the sharp pain that broke through your skull when you tried to move your skull indicated that you had probably hit your head quite forcefully against the ground, which explained why your head was spinning.

You blinked a few times, but there was someone bending above you all of sudden…

Bright green eyes, brown curly hair falling down across his shoulder, a strong jawline, and an expression full of worry that made a little crease appear between his eyebrows.

He seemed nice…

"Are you okay? Can you hear me?" he asked once more.

"Huh… yeah, I think I'm okay," you answered, finally forcing the words past your lips.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there. Was just looking for the bathroom. Can you sit up?"

His voice was very deep and reassuring.

"Yeah, I think so."

He helped you up to a sitting position, your head spinning a little too much for you to go too fast. A flash of pain crossed your temples, and you shut your eyes tight in an attempt to soothe it down.

"Did you hit your head?" he asked with concern oozing from his voice.

"Yeah… it hurts."

"Do you mind if I take a look?"

"Sure, go ahead."

He moved to inspect the back of your head, and gently pushed your hair out of the way.

"I don't see any blood," he reassured you.

"I guess I'll get a big bump and a headache. I'm fine."

"Your hand doesn't look so good though."

It's only then that you realized that you were bleeding quite profusely. There was a large cut across your palm… you closed your eyes again.

"Are you okay?" the stranger asked and worry seemed back on his features and in his tone.

"Umm… I'm not a big fan of blood. It makes me… sick."

"Oh, okay. Not a big fan of it myself if it can reassure you."

"I would be more reassured if you turned out to be a doctor?"

"I'm afraid I'm not a doctor at all. Hang on a sec."

You heard him walk away towards the large hall where the dinner would be served and that you were decorating a moment earlier, and then come closer to you again.

He pressed a napkin against your palm, making you jump in pain and let out a sharp shriek.

"Sorry. It's gonna help with the bleeding though."

"Okay," you nodded, feeling panic rising inside of you, with tears stinging your closed eyes.

You seemed to grow dizzier, and his worry deepened. He reached for his phone as no one seemed to be around.

"I'm Harry, by the way," he tried to pull your thoughts away from your pain and your bleeding hand. "What's your name?"

"Y/N."

"Lovely name."

"I hope you're not flirting with me while I'm bleeding to death…"

He chuckled.

"I'm not flirting, just trying to keep your mind busy. And you're not bleeding to death."

"Okay."

"You're gonna be fine."

"Okay."

"Can you say anything else than 'okay'?"

"Not right now."

"Liar, you've just done it."

Despite the odds, you actually chuckled at his silly answer.

He unwrapped the napkin, that had turned from beige to crimson in a matter of seconds, and he couldn't help but wince.

"It looks a little deep though. You're gonna need to have someone take a look at it, I reckon."

"Okay."

"But it doesn't look too bad. It's a clean cut. Okay? Nothing serious."

"Okay, not serious. Okay."

But the next thought had you open your eyes wide in terror.

"The gardenias!"

"Huh?" Harry raised an eyebrow, not following your train of thought at all.

You seemed even more panicked now. You looked down at the pots, and indeed, one of them was broken, the porcelain shattered and freeing some of the earth it held before. The plant itself seemed pretty damaged. The other though seemed alright.

Your breathing was more laboured now, and tears threatened to escape your eyes even more.

"Hey, it's okay. It's nothing," Harry tried to reassure you.

"I need to clean this up, and get more gardenias. We have a few to spare."

"Not a chance. You're panicking, you're staying right here, I…"

"Y/N?"

Mary's voice startled both you and Harry.

"What happened?!" she shrieked, rushing to check the damage.

You opened your mouth to answer, but Harry was faster.

"Hi. I'm Harry. I wasn't looking at where I was going, and we bumped into each other. She has a pretty bad cut on her hand."

"You said it was nothing!" you protested, turning to him again, with fear sparkling in your eyes.

"Hmm… no, it's not too bad. Just… huh…"

"The gardenias!" Mary exclaimed.

"One of them is ruined, but the other is fine," you informed her, nodding towards the mess of earth, porcelain and branches.

"How many tables left to do?"

"Only two. The rest is done."

She heaved a deep sigh, and her voice sounded frustrated as she spoke again.

"Okay, I'll get the plants, and finish up. You get your arse in a hospital, you're bleeding a lot."

"I can help clean up."

"You've done everything else, I'll handle it. You call for a cab or whatever and go to get that hand fixed. Call me when it's done, we'll see if you can come back or not."

"Okay."

But Mary was already grabbing the unbroken plant pot and carrying it away.

"Do you feel better?" Harry asked, focusing his attention back on you.

"Yeah… I'm okay. As long as I don't look at the blood, I'll be fine."

"I'm gonna get you to a hospital."

"I'll be fine, I can go there…"

"It's my fault if you're in this mess. I'll drive you there."

"You should stay at the wedding."

"Don't worry, I'm not family or anything. They'll survive without me. And you look like you're about to faint, so I'm most definitely not going to let you go anywhere on your own."

Mary walked past the two of you again, hurrying back towards the truck, and cursing under her breath.

"Your boss?" Harry asked, looking at her with a frown.

"Yeah."

"She seems to be lovely to work with, a bit stressed out, perhaps," he joked, and it made you smile.

"She's nice enough. A bit rough sometimes, but not a tyrant either."

"I'm gonna get my keys, and warn my girlfriend I'm leaving, okay? You stay here, I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay."

As promised, he was back a moment later, a very beautiful yet angry woman on his heels. He seemed annoyed and to be ignoring her on purpose.

"I can't believe you're about to leave me here alone to go with a perfect stranger…"

"To the hospital. I'm going to the hospital, because it's my fault if she has a deep cut across her hand that might need stitches. I reckon that's nothing extraordinary, simply what any decent human being would do," he snapped back at her.

"What about me?"

"You're with your family and your friends, I reckon you'll do just fine without me. Besides, are you bleeding right now? Do you need to go to the hospital too?"

"Why can't you be normal and call for a cab for her, instead of going there yourself?"

"She was looking like she was about to faint."

"You're unbelievable."

Harry heaved a deep, angry sigh, and you pretended like you couldn't hear anything of the interaction, but there was no way you could miss any of their words.

"I don't want to fight with you right now. I'm gonna drop her to the hospital and then come back. I'll be back soon."

She huffed in frustration, but turned on her heels and walked away.

Harry crossed the distance between you and kneeled back by your side, you noticed that he was wearing a black jacket now upon his black shirt.

"You don't have to drive me," you argued. "Your girlfriend seemed pretty pissed off."

"She'll get over it," he dismissed your objection with a tired wave of his hand. "I'm gonna help you get up, is that okay?"

You nodded, and he held you by the elbow to help you back to your feet. Your head was spinning for a moment, and Harry waited for you to look a little less drowsy to guide you to the exit.

"I'm okay. It's nothing, it's just… I don't like blood," you said again.

"We'll get you checked up," he replied, his tone decisive. "I'm really sorry for getting you in trouble."

"It's okay. You didn't mean to, I'm sure. Otherwise, I officially hate you."

He let out a laugh.

"I'm not a psychopath or anything, don't worry."

He guided you to what looked like a very expensive car, but you were too busy trying not to look at the blood that was dripping from the napkin held against your left hand to notice any detail about anything.

He opened the car door for you, and took his own seat behind the wheel. It's only then that you saw him rubbing his wrist.

"Are you hurt too? I'm sorry, I didn't even ask you if you were okay. I'm terrible…"

"I'm alright. I fell on my wrist though, it's a little painful."

"You should get it checked out too. It could be sprained."

"I'm sure it's nothing."

But as he drove through the crowdy streets of L.A. he realized that it was not 'nothing', the pain most definitely intensifying as he used his wrist more and more to guide the car through the busy traffic.

"It looks like it's swollen," you insisted.

"Yeah, you may be right."

"Camphor is very efficient to stop the swelling."

"Thanks for the tip," he smiled.

"An old trick from my grandma."

"How's your hand?"

"I don't want to look at it."

"Okay, don't then. Just… please, don't faint in my car."

You laughed.

"I'm not kidding," he chuckled as well, shaking his head. "With a bad wrist, I don't think I could carry you to the hospital."

"Thank you for taking me there."

"Well, I think I'll end up checking in too, so…"

Once at the hospital, you were asked to wait for quite a while. None of your injuries were serious, your hand had stopped bleeding, and so you waited together in the emergency room, sitting next to each other in a pair of old and uncomfortable chairs.

"You're a florist, then?" Harry asked after a while to make some conversation.

"Yes, have been for six months."

"You're just beginning! That's great! Do you like it so far?"

"I love it. I've always wanted to work with plants."

"Do you only do weddings?"

"No, Mary… my boss, she has a shop too."

"Would you like to have your own shop one day?"

"That's the goal. The dream, actually. But to do that you need to have some experience, and a lot of money. And for now, I have none of the above, so… I'm just the assistant for now."

"You're just getting started. But I'm sure you'll make it."

"How do you know?" you mocked, but he was more serious than you had expected.

"I just know. You seem like you deserve to achieve whatever you long for."

"And what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a musician. Singer," he answered casually, giving you a shy smile.

"Oh, that's awesome! Do you have like… a band or something? Sorry, I don't know much about music."

"I was in a band, we decided to take a break a few months ago though. So, I'm gonna try to do it on my own now."

"Wow, that's brave!"

"Or absolutely foolish, I haven't decided which one it is so far," he laughed.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Were you successful with your band? I mean… there are so many amazing artists out there who struggle to pay a rent."

He nodded in agreement, taking a few seconds to choose his words carefully.

"Yeah, I know. But huh… we were pretty… successful, I guess. I can pay my rent, most definitely."

"That's nice!"

He nodded, giving you a kind smile.

"What was the name of the band?"

"One Direction."

"Never heard of it," you shook your head. "Or maybe I have… I don't remember. I have to admit that I don't follow music very much, sorry."

"That's alright. I don't follow the last trending tendencies in floral arrangements either, so I guess we're even."

You both laughed at that. And you decided that you quite liked Harry. He was nice, he seemed to be genuinely worried about you. You would have been lying if you claimed that you didn't find him attractive, but what truly defined him to you so far was just that he seemed to be a good guy.

And God knew that these were rare these days…

Meanwhile, Harry decided that he quite liked you as well. Besides the fact that he found you lovely, you seemed kind and gentle. And if you had not been about to faint for most of your exchange with him, he was sure that he would have found an hilarious sense of humour too.

A doctor finally came to take a look at your hand, and Harry was soon treated as well. His wrist suffered only of a small sprain, and he was soon released with a simple bandage and the recommendation to apply some ice on his articulation regularly for a few days. He still waited until you were free to go as well, and he welcomed you with a warm smile as you walked out.

"How's your hand?" he asked with a nod towards the white bandage wrapped across your palm.

"Fine. No stitches, but I got these… weird… things to keep the skin together, I have no idea how they call that. But I should be fine in a few weeks. And your wrist?"

"A little sprain, nothing to worry about. Do you need a ride?"

"I won't be going back to work, I'm not supposed to use my hand for a few days. I'll just call a cab and go home."

"I can drive you home if you want."

"It's very kind of you, but I don't want to bother you…"

"It's the least I can do. I'm the one who caused all this mess in the first place. Come on, I'll get you home."

Considering your cautious nature, you should have politely declined the offer again. But there was just something about Harry that made you trust him, at least enough for him to drive you across the city.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

You followed him back to his car, exchanging a shy smile, and as he opened the door of his car for you again, you reckoned that you didn't mind so much the bandage around your hand anymore.

********************************

Tag list : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy @addictedtofictionalcharacters @staringmoony @madamrogers

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #imagine

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my-mt-heart · 4 years

Text

Don't mind this newbie. Just dropping in many years late to the party (I blame my social anxiety) and kicking things off with my thoughts on the season 10 finale of TWD. You’ll notice I have significantly more to say about Caryl because, well, that is where the bulk of my interest lies...

I'm a TV show loyalist, so I've learned to accept the frustrating plot contrivances. There are going to be things that aren't quite believable like for instance the size of the horde, the choreography of the action sequences, minimal casualties on the survivors' side, and some other things, but what keeps me tuning in, what I always hold out hope for, is the emotional impact and in this episode, even that was either outright missing or not hitting hard enough in some places. Not to sound like a perv, but in Carol's and Daryl's scenes especially, I kept telling my screen to give it to me harder. There are a few exceptions, but overall I felt that the pacing was too fast. There wasn't enough breathing room, not enough time for the tension to land, which is strange and irksome when you consider the episode all together was only 45 minutes give or take. All that being said, there were many aspects of it that I thoroughly enjoyed. Here's a more in-depth breakdown:

Eugene and Co: Cool speeches, bros. Commonwealth, here we come.

Aaron and Alden: The first time I watched, I didn't see Alden at all and thought maybe he died off screen. I found him in the re-watch though, and I guess he got to stand next to Maggie. Cool. Meanwhile, a wishy-washy story arc for Aaron ended in three short scenes in which he did not have any lines or do anything noteworthy. Not cool.

Connie and Virgil: I knew it. I fucking knew it the whole time. Okay, at least since watching the opening minutes when they were first released back in April. Looks like they'll be getting their own arc next season or maybe in the six bonus episodes, which I am looking forward to. If you're one of those people who holds some resentment towards Connie for shipping reasons, that's your prerogative. Personally, I consider it a waste of energy. LR is awesome and her character deserves some time to shine on her own, not as a potential (though unlikely imo) love interest for Daryl. Will she and Virgil strike up a romance? Honestly, I think it would be an insult to Connie's intelligence for her to fall for a half-crazed, so far untrustworthy character like Virgil, but I'm also not counting it out as a possibility. Also, not that this is at all related to anything, but did anyone notice she looked very young in that scene? Maybe it's the mud mask? Kidding.

Kelly: Daryl and Kelly signing to each other was sweet, and it was interesting to see the horde through Kelly's perspective. If the silence (or muffled audio?) is anything to go by, I do believe this was meant to convey her hearing loss. With Connie still away, I'm really hoping we get to delve into Kelly's story some more. I grow more fond of her every time she appears on screen. Let's bump her up to series regular, yeah?

Jerry and Magna: How sweet of Jerry to be there for Magna, who appears to be have some PTSD from the last time she had to walk through a massive horde. Do I sense a blossoming friendship? I'm super down for it.

Father Gabriel: Were his parting words for Rosita something that had been referenced in a previous episode or just something out of left field that we're somehow supposed to accept as super meaningful? That aside, I did manage to feel some of the emotional impact of him staying behind to give the others a chance to escape, but maybe it would have packed more of a punch if he died? I don't know. I'm torn on that one.

Maggie: So...she's back now. I think the reason it didn't hit me the way it should have is because, if you'll recall, she had this really thrilling heroic moment back in season 7 when she came into the Savior attack on Alexandria guns blazing, and I guess since she's been gone so damn long, I expected something to top that. Oh, well. Her reunion with Judith was nice. I can't stress enough how much it sucks that we didn't get her initial reaction to Negan being out of his cell, which I'm sure would have been fraught with tension, and unless the bonus episodes are a direct pickup, we probably have to settle for some acknowledgement in passing.

Negan: In many of his scenes, Negan channeled a much more earnest side of himself in lieu of his usual charisma, which I think really helped me sympathize with him more. While I'm resentful of the Negan/Lydia bond shown throughout the finale taking precedence over the Daryl/Lydia bond developed earlier, I do understand the importance of the communities' biggest outcasts being there for one another and assisting with the other's personal growth to a degree. As for Negan's scene with Beta...well. I read the reviews prior to watching it, yet somehow it still surprised me to see just how short it was (If anything, that might be a testament to how good the reviewers are at their job). For someone who had such a big role this season, I expected Negan's contribution in the final battle to be more than "Hey, shithead," followed by being shoved to the ground.

Beta: Seriously though, am I a fool to want a drawn-out, on-the-edge-of-your-seat type battle to put an end to this "fee-fi-fo-fum asshole??" Apparently. You know that expression, sneeze and you miss it? I am not kidding when I say I sneezed twice and all of a sudden he's being eaten by his horde. I had to rewind, got distracted by a text message, and missed it again. Want to learn the meaning of anticlimactic? Go watch this scene, preferably alone in a room void of distractions and things to trigger your allergies.

Lydia and Carol: Hands down, these two had the best scenes. Hands. Down. All of their interactions played out beautifully, the laughable VFX on the cliff taking me out of it a little bit, but I can shrug that off. They absolutely deserved this closure with each other and for themselves. I feel bad for suggesting this, but part of me (and yes, I'll admit it's probably the shipper in me) feels the scene on the cliff could've been given to Caryl, maybe with Carol and Lydia bonding in the woods afterwards to tie things up. I know, blasphemous right? Here me out, though. I get that it's a nice callback to the season 9 finale when Lydia tells Carol to kill her because she's weak and Carol tells her she's not. I get that this moment, particularly throwing away the mask, represents them overcoming Alpha's emotional reign of terror, something that had affected the two of them more than any of the other characters. As much as I love that, as much as I love Carol and Lydia, as much as I love the chemistry between CM and MMB, the season in its entirety has not been centered on their dynamic. Carol and Daryl are supposed to be "the heart" of the story as I believe AK put it, so I think it stands to reason the season finale's heaviest, most emotional moment should fall to them. Picture Daryl in Lydia's place, tugging Carol out of the way right before she's about to go over, crying with her behind the rock, holding her hand as they both peer over the edge, and tell me it's not an even more powerful, more heart-wrenching, and frankly just a harder-earned moment of reconciliation and bonding? Plus, it would've been a great callback to the season premiere when Daryl tells Carol he needs her to stay. Ultimately though, this would be too much too fast. Not for me personally (floor it, baby!), but clearly TPTB have a longer journey planned for them, and I'm willing to let that play out. Still, is it awful of me to say I'm jealous that Lydia and Carol were closer to kissing than Carol and Daryl? Yes? Okay, moving right along then.

Daryl and Carol: Their scene on the stairwell broke my heart. In just that one line, "I'm still here," Carol is clearly trying to make amends and prove that she isn't lost anymore, but Daryl just isn't ready to believe it, and this is a good lead-in to Carol wanting to sacrifice herself. It baffles me, however, that Negan wasn't a topic of conversation between them. Releasing the man with whom Daryl has a very strong, personal beef is one thing, but going behind his back to do so? That's a pretty big deal, a much bigger deal than blowing up the cave I'd argue, yet it was kind of just left hanging in the air after Look at the Flowers. We know Diane is pissed, but if anyone should have voiced their thoughts on the matter, it really should have been Daryl. Now, about that hug. I liked it. The accompanying score was beautiful, the emotions were palpable, and though it was much more subtle than some would have liked, we still got a nod to No Sanctuary when Daryl was leaning against the tree. I see what the show is trying to accomplish with some of the restraint. The objective is to show that yes, they are making up, yes Daryl is always going to be there for Carol, yes they are eventually going to ride off into the sunset together, but ultimately, there is still some damage to repair before that can happen, and I'm certain this will be their journey together in the first part of the new season, or bonus episodes, or whatever the hell comes next. That being said, I absolutely understand the letdown. The gravity of their situation in this episode (whisperer war, certain doom) is the ultimate launching pad for Carol and Daryl to really grapple with the possibility of losing each other, and we just didn't get that. What we did get is a "Where's Carol?" when she was still in the horde, the payoff being a pat on the arm after it was revealed she made it through. So that's what we're saying Daryl's first instinct would be, huh? Alrighty then, I'll let that go since it's only the first or second act of the episode and far too early for them to fully reconcile. But what about when Carol left on a suicide mission (Luke's words, not mine) to lure the horde off the cliff? If we weren't going to see Daryl take Lydia's role there, I would have liked to see him at least react to Carol being gone all of a sudden. You know like, "OMG, I convinced her I don't care about her anymore and now she's going to sacrifice herself, and now I'll never see her again, what have I done???" Cue Carol and Lydia waltzing back in unscathed, filling him with relief and reminding him what she means to him. Then yeah, maybe we still get a little of that brilliant, beautiful tension they showed leading up to the hug, only the hug itself would be more needy and there would be more crying. So much more crying. Again though, TPTB needed to put up a speed bump, which unfortunately makes the moment feel less organic. Looking at Caryl's journey together over the whole season, I understand the expectation for the show to move the needle even just a smidge in a new (and hopeful) direction, but in a way, it seems we may have actually backtracked because now time has to be devoted just to rebuilding the friendship. Carol and Daryl will get to where we want them to be, guys. It'll be slow. It'll be painful, but they will get there. For the record, TV shows are not meant to be viewed with the bigger picture in mind, but with Caryl and the TWD in general, I find it to be quite good for my sanity.

I have some more predictions for the bonus episodes and season l1, but I will save them for another post because this one is already way too long. If you made it to the end or even just skipped around, I appreciate it!

#caryl #twd spoilers #a certain doom

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ficsandcatsandficsandcats · 5 years

Text

An Ever-Fix’d Mark: Cinderella!AU

Part I

Word Count: 1,839 Pairing: Jaskier x Reader, Geralt x Yennefer Rating: G Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock a/n: A retelling of the Cinderella fairytale as popularized by Charles Perrault. Inspired by reader request.

Spring was the busiest time of year for the Lettenhove markets, the gorgeous blooms drawing in visitors from all the neighboring lands. You’d been going to the markets since you were a child yet never had it been quite like this. As you wound your way through the crowd you could glimpse a familiar face in the distance. Yennefer waved you over and you began to make your way to the sorceress you had befriended years before. When you’d met her she’d looked quite different but she was the same Yennefer. Well, significantly more powerful, and intimidating to many, but you saw a side of her few others did, and you were grateful.

“What’s going on? Are we going to war?” you asked, yelling to be heard over the din of the crowd though you stood mere inches from your friend.

“House Pankratz is throwing a series of betrothal balls. Well, they won’t call it that, but everyone knows that’s what they’re for,” she explained, gesturing to an announcement pinned to the stall of tulips nearby.

“What does that have to do with us?” you asked. Though the markets were one of the few places that people of all classes mingled, many of the ones here today seemed to be fellow peasants.

“They’re hiring more people on to help with the preparations. It’s going to be quite the spectacle,” Yennefer explained, amusement playing about her lips.

“Well that’s something I suppose,” you admit, “Too bad none of them will get to see it.”

“They may not, but you shall,” Yennefer said, turning and walking farther down the line of stalls.

“What does that mean?” you called after her, hurrying to catch up.

“Just what I said,” she replied enigmatically, “You are going to that ball if I have to take you there myself.”

“Why?” you asked, catching up with her as she fingered a length of cornflower blue ribbon.

“Because you need to get out and this could be the way for you,” she said simply.

“Since when did you concern yourself with my future?” you asked.

“I’ve been concerned for a while, I just haven’t said anything because I knew you’d be stubborn,” Yennefer answered. You stared after her as she let the ribbon go and kept moving through the stalls, chasing after her and peppering her with questions, throwing a quick apology to the man you bumped into in your pursuit.

———————————-

“Sorry!” the woman called.

“No worries!” Jaskier called back to the woman’s retreating back, eyes turning back to the man walking next to him. “Explain to me again how this is a good thing.”

“Your parents mean well, Jaskier,” the man responded, his voice deep and brusque. The milling crowds parted for the two men as they walked though some perked up in recognition.

“Viscount Pankratz! Many congratulations on your approaching nuptials!” a merchant called. Jaskier forced his face into a grim smile and waved.

“They may mean well but it’s humiliating. And invasive,” Jaskier replied, keeping his face in the pantomime of a smile while biting out the words.

“What do you intend to do about it?” his friend asked, not for the first time. Jaskier stopped and turned to the man, hand on his hips in frustration.

“That is the fourth time you’ve said that or something like it, Geralt, if you have an idea I’d very much like to hear it,” he said, exasperation plan on his face.

“Hmm,” Geralt grunted and then, miraculously, spoke again, “Don’t do it.”

“Oh, that’s your brilliant plan, is it? Just don’t do it. If only I’d thought of that before, what a mastermind you are Geralt! How is it you were shunted off onto me as a bodyguard instead of being my father’s advisor! Truly Lettenhove suffers from the loss of such sage wisdom,” Jaskier groused, gesturing grandly.

“Alright then go,” Geralt said, an edge of frustration to his tone.

“I am going but… Well damnit, Geralt, it isn’t fair. I should get to choose who I marry or if I marry. It’s not like we’re royalty, the land won’t suffer if I don’t create any heirs,” Jaskier muttered. Geralt watched the wheels turn in his friend’s head and stayed silent as he worked through it. They’d stopped near a stand with tulips and Geralt caught a scent of something in the air. Something unlike a tulip. Lilacs? Gooseberries? It was the briefest moment, but it distracted him long enough that when he looked over, Jaskier was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck,” he muttered, and began searching for his friend and charge.

———————————-

“You’re not my mother Yen, you don’t have to worry about me,” you insisted. Yennefer had continued her shopping though you’d protested the entire way.

“Of course I don’t have to, but I am. Sometimes we feel things we can’t help,” she replied and then turned to you, focusing her violet eyes on yours, “Y/N, what do you lose from going?”

“Perhaps my life! Impersonating a nobleperson can be punished up to and including death,” you answered in hushed tones as though fearful someone would overhear and apprehend you for even uttering the thought. Yennefer waved away the concern.

“The first of the balls is hosted by the people. It will be held in the gardens tomorrow and all are invited,” she said.

“That never really includes peasants, Yen, you know that.”

“And yet the law does not prevent you from attending. Especially when you arrive dressed as you will,” she said with an enigmatic smile.

“Alright, fine, I will go to that one ball but only that one!” you insisted.

“Very well, but I am going to prepare just in case you change your mind,” Yennefer said and turned back to the stall, checking a bolt of midnight blue fabric.

“What do you think is going to happen anyway?” you asked, leaning against a roll of brown velvet, ignoring the glares from the merchant, “I find some nobleman who asks me to marry him and I run away and live happily ever after?”

“Perhaps not marriage but you can’t climb higher if you keep your head down. They want you to think that you can but they only do that so their own positions stay secure. Do you like this red?” she asked, holding up a swatch of silk against your cheek.

“Why did you come back?” you asked. Ever since she’d returned, looking the way she did now with the abilities she’d grown, you’d wondered why she would come back to a place she’d been so eager to leave. She smiled, a soft smile that reminded you of the girl you’d known and the woman who still held that tenderness somewhere hidden deep inside.

“I had very few friends then and somehow even fewer now. I value what I have, and I believe in protecting the things that I value. And people,” she added. You smiled back at your friend and resolved to stop protesting. It was just one party, after all. Things would go back to normal soon enough.

———————————-

“Oh Geralt there you are, look at these beautiful instruments,” Jaskier as Geralt finally caught up to him, standing at a stall selling instruments. Geralt bit back the many things he wanted to say to Jaskier about running off. There would be time for that when they weren’t around people who may not take kindly to him condescending to the Viscount that way. But there would be a conversation later.

“You already have a lute,” he said instead.

“Yes but Geralt not like these,” Jaskier said, gently strumming a tune. It was ornately decorated and the quality of the wood was much better than the one he’d been gifted when he showed an instrument in music when he was young.

“You know I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier,” Jaskier said as he reluctantly handed the lute back and walked away from the stall.

“Hmm,” Geralt replied, listening.

“If I did leave, I think I’d like to travel. Perhaps making money performing. People do it all the time,” Jaskier’s voice grew a bit distant as he spoke, blue eyes glazing over as he daydreamed.

“Hmm,” Geralt said.

“It’s true that I don’t want this marriage. Or any of it. But I have this… problem. It’s you,” Jaskier said, turning to face Geralt whose brow furrowed in confusion and frustration.

“What the hell do I have to do with it?” he asked, past caring who overheard his tone.

“Well what would happen to you if I left, Geralt? You know you’re only here to keep me safe and if I left you’d be let go and I know it wasn’t easy for you to find the work in the first place. If you hadn’t saved me from those elves it likely never would have happened,” Jaskier explained. Jaskier worried for a moment that Geralt had finally completed the transformation into gargoyle, his features frozen in that severe expression as he stared at Jaskier, unmoving.

“Geralt?”

“That’s bullshit,” Geralt bit out.

“Well hey now –“

“If you left I’d go with you,” Geralt finished. Jaskier opened his mouth and then shut it just as quickly.

“You would?” he asked. Geralt avoided Jaskier’s eyes.

“Of course. You’d never survive without me,” he said. He glanced up and saw Jaskier smiling at him, a smile that was as teasing as it was sincerely touched.

“If we did this,” Jaskier said, his voice growing serious, “We’d be fugitives. My family wouldn’t take this quietly and there’s no telling what they would do to you if they caught up with us.”

“Then we don’t let them catch up with us,” Geralt replied simply.

“Right,” Jaskier said, nodding and thinking and grappling with the sheer audacity of what he was considering.

“Right,” he said again, his voice resolute as he smiled up at his friend.

“We’ll need time to plan,” Geralt warned as they continued walking.

“The parties start tomorrow. There’ll be the people’s party, then the court’s party, then mother’s party, then father’s party and then the engagement party. Do you think we could finish preparations by the fourth night?” Jaskier asked.

“Yes, that’ll be plenty of time. As long as you do everything I say and there are no distractions,” Geralt said. He opened his mouth to add another warning, but it came again, lilac and gooseberries, he was sure of it. He gently caressed the bolt of dark blue velvet but quickly looked back up for Jaskier, remembering what happened the last time, but the man was still standing in front of him, deep in thought.

“Four nights. Just four more nights,” Jaskier said to himself. Then, turning back to Geralt he said, “This is the scariest thing I’ve ever done.”

“You’ll be fine,” Geralt grunted, clapping his hand on Jaskier’s shoulder, “As I said, no distractions.”

“I’ve gone to loads of events like this Geralt,” Jaskier scoffed, making his way back towards the market entrance with Geralt close behind, “What could possibly distract me?”

#jaskier x reader #geralt x yennefer #the witcher #fanfiction #An Ever-Fix'd Mark #Cinderella!AU

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nastybuckybarnes · 5 years

Text

Wicked Games - Three

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Soulmate AU

Summary: Everyone in the world has a soulmate. And until they meet that soulmate, everyone in the world stops aging at 25. Wrongfully accused of a horrendous crime and on the run, you happen to bump into the man who’s been avoiding you for the past seventy-five years.

Warnings: Language, Minor Violence, Injury

Word Count: 1.3K (she’s short, sorry)

A/n: I’m really tired rn and idk how good this chapter is. I just wanna write the spicy stuff lmao

MASTERLIST 1 2 Series Masterlist

You wake up slowly, confused and kind of scared.

Your wrists are cuffed together behind your back and you’re lying down uncomfortably in... a bathtub.

You push yourself up on your elbows and look around as much as you can, hissing in pain as your calf burns. A quick glance down to it let’s you know that it’s still bleeding and quite possibly infected. The white bathtub has red smeared where your legs are and you feel bad for whoever’s house this is. Until you remember who lives here.

Just as you’re about to sit up further, the door unlocks and opens, the cop standing there in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

Your eyes are drawn to his left arm, the one made totally out of metal.

“(Y/n) (Y/l/n). We’ve been looking for you for a while.” You look up to his face and tug against the cuffs, sighing heavily in defeat.

“Why am I here? Why didn’t you bring me to the station? Or do you have guys coming to pick me up?” He stares at you for a few moments then walks into the bathroom, towering over you.

He sizes you up with his eyes, lingering on the still-bleeding wound on your calf.

“You killed a police officer, called the cops, then ran. You’ve got quite a file growing.” You glare up at him, “you’re not allowed to be conducting this kind of interrogation without my lawyer present! I know my rights!”

He chuckles and leans back, his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m sure you do, sweetheart. Now you stay here while I go make a few fun phone calls.” With that, he stands up and walks out of the bathroom, locking the door behind himself.

“Buck? You’re up early,” Steve’s groggy voice says from the other line. “Did something happen? Did you find her?” Bucky opens his mouth to respond then stops, hesitating for a moment.

There’s an annoying voice in the back of his mind telling him that he shouldn't tell anyone that you’re here and that he should keep it to himself. The same annoying voice that’s causing him to be strangely entranced by not only your story, but you as a person as well.

“Bucky? Is everything okay over there?” He snaps out of his trance and clears his throat. “Yeah, everything’s good. Just wanted to know if you knew anything else.” He surprised at his words, having wanted to tell Steve about your presence in his main floor bathroom.

“Nothing yet. But we’ll figure it out." Bucky sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose, frustrated with himself. “Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’ll let you go now. Sorry for waking ya, punk.” Steve chuckles from the other end, “whatever. See you later.”

After hanging up the phone Bucky paces around his kitchen for at least fifteen minutes, pissed off that he didn't tell Steve about you but relieved at the very same time.

It’s exhaustingly infuriating.

Eventually, he calms down a bit and makes himself a coffee, deciding that he’ll go for a jog to clear his mind then come back home with a solution.

You’re not sure how long you’re alone in the bathroom, all you know is that your leg hasn’t stopped bleeding and it’s very very hard to pull down your pants when you’re hands are cuffed behind your back.

You’re unravelling a roll of toilet paper when the bathroom lock clicks and the door opens, revealing the officer fully dressed in his uniform.

“Taking me to the station?” You ask, your voice wavering with fear.

He stares at you with an unreadable expression in his eyes. “Why did you kill Rumlow?” You glare at him, trying to shove aside the part of you that wants to open up to this strange man. “Go to Hell.” He sighs and squeezes his eyes shut.

“You know, I might be one of the only cops in this town who actually cares about your side of things.” You snort, “is that why you’re keeping me here against my will? Holding me hostage?”

“Let’s not forget the fact that you broke into my house. Which is trespassing. So you’re not innocent at all in this situation, keeping in mind the fact that you’re a wanted criminal.”

“And you’re keeping me from the law now, which means you’re breaking even more laws too!” You exclaim, smiling as he glares at you. “There are only a handful of cops on this case that will help you and listen to you. The rest all want you dead or behind bars for killing Rumlow. Chief of police-” “Alexander Pierce wants me dead too,” you interrupt, having your own reasons for saying it.

“Well, yeah. Rumlow was like a son to him. He won’t really listen to a single word you have to say.” You exhale deeply, closing your eyes for a moment. “Why do you seem to care more than your colleagues? What makes you so different?” He opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to figure that out for himself.

“You just... stay in here till I get back.” You open your eyes and look over at him, “you’re not turning me in?” He looks at you, fighting an internal battle before slamming and locking the bathroom door, not speaking another word to you before he goes to work.

You lie back in the bathtub, confused as to why this cop isn’t turning you in.

Dread settles in the pit of your stomach as you realize what he might do or want you to do. You’re a wanted criminal and he’s been letting you stay here so far. It’s only a matter of time before he asks you for some form of payment.

You shudder as the different things he could ask of you flash through your mind.

Mustering up your strength, you push yourself to your feet and step out of the bathtub, limping over to the door and trying the handle.

“Fuck,” you hiss, wishing you weren't cuffed.

Swallowing your fear, you open one of the drawers, turning around and looking at the contents.

Nothing useful.

“Fuck fuck fuck!”

You continue looking through the bathroom for nearly an hour, finding absolutely nothing helpful or useful in any of the cabinets or drawers. Eventually you give up and get back into the bathtub, closing your eyes and trying desperately to come up with a plan.

Bucky dreads going back home.

He doesn't want to face you and what you still being in his house means for him.

But, alas, he has to return home. And when he does he’s surprised to see you asleep in the bathtub.

He walks over to you cautiously, kneeling down and inspecting the gouge in your calf through the blood-soaked gauze.

You open your eyes then kick your legs up and around his neck, pulling him down beside you.

“Fuck!” He shouts, struggling to get out of such an awkward position.

You pull yourself up and pull him down, trying to knock his head against the tub.

He eventually shakes you off of him and gets back onto his feet, chest heaving and eyes set into a steely glare.

“If you don’t fucking stop pissing me off, I’ll hand you right over to Pierce!” You glare up at him, fighting tears as you feel hopelessness wash over you. “Now, either you stay fucking still and let me stop you from bleeding out on my bathtub, or you slowly bleed out and die. You pick.”

You lie back in the tub and squeeze your eyes shut, surrendering to the man.

As he cleans and stitches your leg you can’t help the few tears that stream down your cheeks.

Although he hasn’t hurt you yet, he still might. And that idea alone is enough to make you wish you were dead.

You slowly open your eyes, realization dawning on you.

Right now, with this cop in the room, you’re as good as dead anyway.

TAGS:

PERMANENT TAGS: @smolbeanbucky @wildefire @inumorph @impalatobakerstreet @nanna022 @mummy-woves-you @m-a-t-91 @wtfholland @bookgirlunicorn @beautifulwisdom2001 @deep-sea-glitter @mrhiddles-81 @iamwarrenspeace @bitchacho25 @escapetheshackles @i-know-i-can @buckyssoul

MARVEL: @fallenangelfangirl @look-to-the-stars-and-wish @maladaptive-ninja-returns @cliffordasparagus @april-14-blog @potteritis

BUCKY: @chuuulip @nerd-without-a-cause @natashasnight

WICKED GAMES: @lilypalmer1987 @bisexualfangirlsblog @i-am-always-famished @clarysthing @starkxpotts @e-wolf-98 @i-run-on-green-tea @nerd-without-a-cause @jamesbuckybarnes13 @theonelittleone @bradfordsgreekgod @littledeadrottinghood @ashlebetty @izhetbean @mu-mu-rs @bruisedfaye @bisoueffleurer @itsphinee

#Bucky x reader #cop!bucky x reader #bucky x reader soulmate au #bucky x reader au #bucky x reader soulmates #bucky x reader soulmate

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yougottalovegameofthrones · 5 years

Text

Safe and Sound (Robb Stark x Reader)

A/N: Well... I’m actually back now, I promise. XD School was kicking my butt, but now I finished, so my updates will be much much more regular. I will create a updating schedule in the near future, but until then, it’ll just be whenever I can. I have “Almost Home Pt. 4″ in the works, but until then, I made this little angsty sad piece for you all. Hope you enjoy. <3

P.S. I decided to change up some things that weren’t how it went down in the books or television series so be ready for a few little twists. I also switched certain lines of dialogue used in this scene around, but bear with me. It makes it work. XD

Y/N’s POV

I knew from the moment I married Robb Stark that my life would never be entirely safe, at least until the war was over. Although there were numbers of people who wanted Joffery’s head, there were many others who wanted Robbs and anyone who dared associate themselves among side him.

At times, it frightened me. The idea that my life would be cut tragically short, only because my husband deserved to be King of the North. But I knew the love I had for my husband was far stronger than any fear I had, and as long as I had him, that was all that mattered.

“I would never let any harm come to you. You know that, don’t you?” He smiled at me softly as we lay in bed one night, slowly feeling ourselves drift to sleep.

“I thank you for your protection, My King.” I jokingly roll my eyes, and he scoffed before gently pulling me onto his lap. His sparkling eyes gazed up at me before he sat up, his strong arms wrapping around me.

“I am serious, you know.” Robb leaned his forehead against mine. “The thought of you in any type of pain absolutely devastates me.”

“I guess we better hope our child is a boy then.” I smiled as I led his hand to the small, growing bump. “That way, you’ll only have to be devastated once.”

“I will be perfectly content with either gender.” My husband chuckled, his other hand moving to cup my cheek gently, and his eyes flickering to mine. “As long as I have you with me, safe and sound.”

“You will always have me with you, my love.” I leaned my cheek into the palm of his hand, and my heart stirred with the same amount of love I had for this man from the day I first met him. “Safe and sound, as always.”

“And I for you.” Robb leaned in slowly and brushed his lips against mine, sealing our promise with a tender kiss. Slowly, it began to grow deeper and I sighed longingly as I pulled myself before it grew any further.

“As much as I would love to continue, Your Highness,I’m afraid we have to be up early in the morning. We don’t want to be late for the wedding, do we?”

“As always, you are right, my darling wife.” Robb sighed, as I rolled off of him onto my back in the soft sheets. “I would rather we did not have to see my dear uncle wed the Frey girl. Poor thing.”

“Which one?” I let out a small giggle.

“Both.”

---

The wedding had gone very smoothly, with an acceptation from a few crude remarks that almost made Robb confront Walder Frey, who was stopped by his mother.

I tried to ignore the harshness in his words. I understood the trust that had been broken, that resulted in bitterness that would stay for some time. But Robb wouldn’t stand for any dishonor or disrespect to myself.

Soon, we were led into the great hall, and began to feast. I sat next to my husband, smiling and listening as the orchestra played and the surprisingly happy couple talked at their own table.

“I suppose that this ended up working out, wouldn't you say?” I smile slightly, as I looked at my husband. His blue eyes were content, and a smirk pulled at his lips.

“Yes. But I do think that I got the better end of the deal.”

“Oh yeah? Why do you think that?” I took a sip of my wine, my smile still present.

“I got the most beautiful girl in existence to fall in love with me.” Robb took my hand in his, our fingers lacing together. “Oh, and she is also carrying my heir. How much more could I ask for?”

“You are too sweet, my dear husband.” I felt my cheeks start to heat up slightly at the compliment.

“I love that you still blush at my words. It’s quite adorable.”

“Stop it.” I looked away quickly, trying to hide my face. But two fingers pulled my face back towards him, and before I could say a word, his lips were touching mine softly. I kissed him back for a moment before forcing myself to pull away. “We don’t want to steal this day from the bride and groom, do we?”

“No, I suppose not.” Robb sighed, before smirking and adding, “But I’ll remind you of our own wedding night once we return to our room.”

“For goodness sake...” I groan playfully, and laugh along with my husband as I look around my room. But suddenly, I feel my laughter start to die away. The music began to change to something somber, and the atmosphere began to morph into what I could only describe as unpleasant. Something terrible was about to happen, and I was terrified to find out what it was.

My eyes met my mother-in-laws, and from just one glance, I could tell that she could sense it too. After a few moments, I turn back to Robb, and grab his arm gently. “Robb, can you do something for me?”

“What is it, my love?”

“I can’t seem to find my earring.” I frowned thoughtfully, before continuing. “I think I might have left it up in the room. Could you go find it?”

“Must you have it for another hour or two of drinking?” He chuckled as he sipped on his wine.

“Please.” I pleaded gently, and he finally gave in, standing and kissing my hand gently before walking towards the exit and finally disappearing through the doors. The breath that I had held so tightly escaped my lips, and I turned back to Catelyn, revealing the ‘lost’ earring in my hand that I had taken out in a moments notice in order to persuade my husband to leave the room. A lump grew in my throat, knowing that I would most likely never see my dear husband again.

The relief that spread across her face was quickly replaced with fear as the doors slammed shut behind us, and the music coming to a complete stop.

“Where has our dear King disappeared to?” Walter Frey frowned as he rose from his seat.

“He has fallen ill, but will return to the feast once he feels better.” I lied quietly, my eyes never leaving the man’s face.

He hesitated for a moment before sighing and continuing. “Ladies of Stark, I feel that I have been remiss in my duties. I have given you meat, wine, music, but I haven’t shown you the hospitality you deserve. My King has married, and I owe my new Queen a wedding gift.”

I felt the breath hitch in my throat as the sounds of blades being drawn filled my ears and It turned to look at my mother in law once again. Her eyes were watery in the fear of death as they met mine, but there was still some relief in the fact that her eldest was not here to watch this soon to be deadly scene unfold.

And I couldn’t help but feel the same.

---

Robb’s POV

As hard as I looked in the damned room, I could not find my wife’s earring. It must have fallen out somewhere in the dining hall. With a grunt of frustration, I shut our room door, and began to walk back towards the great hall. Men were slowly beginning to walk through the door and I began to frown. Was the feast over?

Roose Bolton was the last to exit and he gave me a calm smile before clapping my shoulder gently. “He has a wedding gift for you and your lovely Queen inside. I hope you enjoy it. It will definitely be a shock.”

I nodded hesitantly, slightly ruffled by his words before entering the room. My heart dropped as I saw the countless dead bodies of my men on the floor. Their blood painted the long tables and the cold stone floor.

“Was it a shock?” My eyes flashed towards the main table, seeing Walder Frey sitting in his seat, sipping his wine leisurely. “I was sure it would be.”

I walked forward quickly, my eyes urgently scanning the bodies for those of my mother and my bride. My pregnant bride.

“Are you looking for something?”

“Where are they?” My voice almost broke, as I realized they weren’t among the dead.

“What was that, Your Grace?”

“Where is my mother and my wife?” I stood a near ten feet away from his table, my heart thudding in my chest as I waited for his answer.

“Well... I decided to keep them alive until you were here.” The old man snapped his fingers, and two guards entered the room, each dragging a separate figure into the bloody room and throwing them onto the ground in front of the great table.

I recognized the first as my mother. Her hair was ruffled and her eyes were red. A bruise shadowed her eye, but there seemed to be no injuries that threatened her life. As her eyes focused on me, her eyes began to water with tears.

“Robb, you need to go.” My mother’s voice was broken, hopeless, as she stared at me from her place on the ground. “Get as far away from here as you can. Get as far away from this war as you can. “

“And why would I let him do that?” Walder Frey’s voice interjected, with no remorse at all.

“Please.” My mother turned to stare up at the man. “He is my son, my first son. Let him go, and I swear that we will forget this. I swear it by the Old Gods and New, we will take no vengeance.”

“You already swore me one oath right here in my castle, you swore by all the Gods that your son would marry my daughter!” The words were spat from his lips venomously, and my mother flinched back slightly.

“Take me as a hostage. But let Robb go. Let Robb and his wife go. She has done no wrong.”

“She whored herself to your son, and made him break his oath! She has done everything wrong.” Lord Walder scoffed.

My eyes flickered to the second figure, which lay curled a few feet from my mother. It was my darling wife, my darling Y/N, bruised and beaten almost beyond recognition. Her eyes were filled with tears of pain and sadness.

“Listen to your mother, my love.” Y/N’s voice trembled as she spoke to me. “You need to get as far away from here as you can.”

“I can’t leave you with him.” A lump grew in throat. “I can’t leave the three of you with him.”

“I’m afraid that number has dwindled lower than that, Your Grace.” the guard mocked, and my eyes flickered to my wife’s stomach.

Scarlet stained the bottom half of her dress and I could only feel my heart shatter more than it already had. Y/N’s tears began to fall down her bruised cheeks, and she tried to hold back sobs as she cradled her stomach.

“You will not get away with this.” I said darkly, my sadness almost as powerful as the anger that was building inside of me.

“Says whom? The ‘King of the North’?” Lord Frey snorted, and the guards laughed. “You are no King anymore, Stark. There is one solution that I can think of, that wouldn’t result in all of your deaths.”

The two most important women in my life stared up in agony at the man who had been so kind only hours earlier, eager to hear what he had to say.

“I will let you, Robb Stark, leave the castle with your dire wolf, your life, and your mother. “

My voice was almost lost as I found myself at the mercy of Lord Frey. “W-What about-”

“Consider this a second chance. You will leave immediately, and get as far away from here as you can. If any of my men find you anywhere remotely close to my castle after sunset, you will be brought back here and executed, alongside your mother.”

I opened my mouth to speak again, but my mother was already at my side, pulling my arm. “Robb, we need to go.”

Her eyes flickered in pain, as she repeated the four words from before. “Listen to your mother.”

My eyes met Y/N’s, and I knew that this wound would take far longer than any other wound I had to heal. Maybe it wouldn’t even heal at all. I wanted so desperately to save her, but I already knew what she wanted me to do.

“Can I say goodbye?” I pleaded, my voice thick with unshed tears.

“Fine. Make it quick, because you don’t have much time left.” Lord Frey snapped his fingers, and the guard drew his sword and stabbed Y/N through her shoulder.

My feet moved me quickly towards where my wife lay on the floor. Her breathes were sharp gasps, as scarlet began to travel quickly down the front of her dress. Even in all of this pain, she some how still managed to look absolutely beautiful, and managed to take my heart completely.

“I-I found my earring.” She whispered softly, a tear running down her cheek as she showed it’s place in her ear.

I shook my head as my own tears began to fall. “You figured it out, didn’t you? Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“He would’ve killed all of us.” Y/N shook her head. “There wouldn't have been anytime to do anything. I wanted to save you.”

“Don’t you remember what you said???” My voice broke into a sob. “You said I would always have you with me. Now you’re leaving me forever. “

“I will be with you, My King.” My wife took my hand and kissed it gently. “Maybe not with you when you wake up in the mornings in bed, but I will be with you. I pray to the Gods that you know that.”

“I do.” I nod through my tears, before leaning down and kissing her passionately, not caring if her lips tasted of blood because I knew that I would never be able to hold her a close as I was now ever again. I pulled away moments later, and leaned my forehead against hers. “I love you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you.”

“I’ll keep our child safe.” Y/N’s voice began to grow softer, and I felt my tears run faster down my cheeks as I watched her tired eyes meet mine once more. “We will see you one day, My King.”

Her gorgeous Y/E/C eyes left mine and set on the ceiling before her breathing ceased altogether. I cradled my wife’s body against mine, rocking her back and forth before I felt my mother began to yank on my arm.

“Robb! We need to go!”

Numbly, I let go of Y/N’s body and began to run towards the door with my mother, not looking away once until we left the hall. I would never forget that day, or the days that followed. The days that I lived without my wife, the love of my life and my unborn child. Walder Frey had taken everything away from me, and I didn’t know if I would ever be able make him pay for what he had done.

But my mother was safe, and for that I was grateful. We found our horses and Grey Wind, before immediately leaving the castle Where would we go? We did not know. But our lives were spared that day, and it was a blessing and a curse altogether.

A/N 2: Thinking about a part 2, buuuuut idk. Let me know what you think.

#gameofthrones #gameofthronesimagines #Robb Stark #robbxreader #robb stark imagine #robb stark x reader #robbstarkimagine #robbstarkangst

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bangtanstanst · 6 years

Text

Broken | 2

You're not sure if your best friend even wants to see you after you walked out on him - but you have nowhere else to go.

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: mentions of abuse and an abusive relationship

word count: 1.6k

a/n: hi guys! The original fic of this wasn’t necessarily supposed to have a sequel, but I hate unhappy endings and so this happened ;) I hope you enjoy it!

disclaimer: I am not trying to romanticise or make light of abusive relationships in any way, claiming to know what it’s like to be in such a relationship, nor attempting to generalise anyone’s experiences.

masterlist

You’re crying. There are tears streaming down your cheeks, your chest is heaving with sobs, your eyes are starting to throb – you know you’re crying. But you don’t feel anything.

You keep walking, keep fighting through the crowds around you. People pass by, but all they do is give you weird looks and move on. Your legs are carrying you somewhere you haven’t been for weeks, but you continue on your way, hiding your face as best as you can, burying it in the black fabric of the hoodie you grabbed in all your haste. You’re trying not to think about what happened, trying not to think of the backpack that pulls your shoulders down, your heavy heart pounding in your bruised ribcage.

But, as much as you don’t want it, you can’t help but remember. Remember the way your boyfriend had screamed at you, thrown his fists, screamed some more, and how, when he finally stopped and went ‘out’, as per usual, realisation finally dawned on you. You don’t know what got the process going, you don’t know what was different about this time, and you have absolutely no idea how your brain suddenly came to the conclusion. Regardless, you’d jumped up, sobbing uncontrollably as you grabbed your backpack and started to pack, only one thing in mind. That, no matter how much you loved him and no matter how much he loved you, no matter how much you wanted this to work out, no matter how much you wanted to stay with him, help him – there was only one thing there was left for you to do.

Get out.

And that is exactly what you did – with no idea as to where the hell you wanted to go, no money except for the little bit of cash you keep in your purse, a few of your belongings in your small backpack. You honestly don’t even know half the things you stuffed in there – your eyes had been too teary, too puffy to really see much of anything. But without checking much, you’d rushed out of the apartment, so scared to bump into him that you took the emergency stairs and zigzagged through small streets and alleyways, taking the most unconventional path you could think of.

Now that you’ve finally managed to remove yourself far enough, you feel like you’re walking around aimlessly, weaving through thick crowds of people with short breaths, lungs burning. You’re still crying, you’re still hiding your face, and you still feel like your body has taken control of you, that you’re just a passenger in all of this.

And then your feet stop in front of a tall apartment building.

You recognise it all too well, and the lump in your throat grows bigger and bigger as you stare up at it, eyes wide. You haven’t contacted Jungkook at all since you stormed out, but that hasn’t stopped him from trying. Your boyfriend had advised you to just ignore him and his or your other friends’ attempts to get you on the phone or come to your apartment – and you’d actually done it, too.

To your absolute regret now, you kept it up for much too long. You kept it up because you agreed with your boyfriend, because you’d been so angry at Jungkook for judging you like that – but now, weeks later, you realised he was right. You hadn’t wanted to hear it then, but you know you needed to if you wanted to stand any chance at living a normal life.

A breath in, a breath out, and then you step forward and pull the door open. You feel a little more in control again as you make your way up to Jungkook’s apartment, the familiar surroundings giving you at least some level of comfort, though they still stress you out. You have no idea what you want to say, what you want him to say – all you know is that you need to see him. You need him to know you’re sorry beyond words, somehow.

The elevator ride up takes much too long, as it always does. You’re nervously tapping your feet and biting your lip, watching the floor number as it flashes at you in bright red and climbs ever so slowly until you finally hear the ‘ding’ and the doors jump open to Jungkook’s floor.

The hallway is deserted. It smells like old cigarettes, a familiar smell you never particularly minded, nor enjoyed very much. You ignore it, uselessly wiping your cheeks once again as you rush up to his door. 141. The elegant black numbers stare at you and you stare right back, knees growing weak. This is such a bad idea. You don’t even know if he wants to see you, and you’re randomly showing up at his apartment, crying?

You let out a long sigh, burying your face in your hands. The endless stream of tears seems to have ceased – for now – and you only feel a few leftover drops cling to your skin, transferring to the palm of your hand. You shouldn’t be here, you have no reason to. You’ve been ignoring him for weeks, and it’s not fair to him to just suddenly be back, with no words ready to say to him, not even an explanation as to why –

“Y/N?”

You let out a sharp breath, gaze snapping back up at the numbers, not daring to turn and even so much as look at the source of the voice.

“Y/N?” Jungkook repeats. His voice is weird, a little wobbly, a little creaky. You hear his footsteps come closer. “Is that you?”

Willing yourself to turn around, you finally face your friend, the door to the staircase falling closed behind him with a bang neither of you acknowledges. He’s far away from you, across the hallway, grocery bags in his hands. His eyes are as wide as saucers, mouth hanging open.

Taking a breath, your eyes flutter, but you force yourself not to close them. You have to face him, especially after you so explicitly didn’t the last time you saw him. “Jungkook,” is all that rolls off your tongue, the single word coming out shakily, breathily.

He’s in front of you a second later, grocery bags falling to the ground with disregard for any of their contents. And then his arms are around you, holding you tight. You bite down on your tongue, ignoring the pain that shoots through you at his touch, the bruises he’s pressing down on. Instead, you wrap your arms around him, too, relaxing into his embrace with a sigh, tears welling up into your eyes again.

“Are you okay?” he asks as he pulls back, eyes scanning your face, studying you closely. You sniff, wiping your cheeks, and shrug. He frowns, tilting his head. “What happened?”

You shrug once more, looking ahead of you at the floor. “I just –“ You close your eyes, letting out a sigh. They flutter open again and you stare up into his eyes as you continue, “I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you whisper lowly, blinking fast, wiping your cheeks. His frown deepens. “I’m sorry for everything,” you add, another sigh. “You were right.”

His eyebrows shoot up, lips parting. “Huh?”

“You were right, about him,” you say. The words feel weird, you feel icky just saying them aloud. Jungkook doesn’t say anything, just looks at you, waiting for you to finally say why you’re here.

“I need to get out.”

It’s like his whole face clears up at that, an emotion you can’t quite pinpoint washing over his face. Relief, happiness? Nothing you think of quite cuts it. He sweeps you up in his arms again, lifting you up this time, quickly putting you back down when you wince and hiss involuntarily.

He smiles down at you, cupping your cheeks, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that,” he whispers, his touch soft and feather light.

There always used to be this feeling of frustration or anger when he’d say things like that. You’d never agreed with him, you’d always lamented why the hell he was acting this way, especially when he knew you were in a relationship with someone you loved, with someone who loved you, too.

But you feel nothing of the sort this time.

You just return his smile, holding onto his wrists to keep his warm hands on your skin, even though he doesn’t make a move to pull away.

“Does he know?” he asks softly.

You slowly shake your head. “I packed while he was out.”

He nods subtly, thumbs soothingly stroking circles into your cheekbones. “You have a place to stay?”

Once again, you slowly shake your head. You hadn’t even thought of it when you left, you realise now.

“You can stay here if you want to,” he mutters. “Or I could take you to a hotel or a friend’s place or something.”

You don’t even think about it for long – there’s only one place you really feel safe now, even though it’s likely the most obvious place to find you if your boyfriend wants to look for you. “Can I stay with you?”

He smiles, nods. “Of course,” he replies without pause. “We’ll figure out a plan together, okay? We’ll get you out.”

You let out a sharp breath through your nose as you nod at him. Where you expected at least some anger, some kind of backlash to your sudden visit, you see what you always see in Jungkook’s eyes – warmth, welcoming, kindness, excitement. Reassurance.

Whatever happens, you’ll figure out a plan together. You’re not alone, and even though that feeling is foreign to you, it fills you with happiness.

And you’re crying again, but you feel it this time.

masterlist

a/n: thanks for reading, I hope you liked it!! Let me know what you thought of it and if you perhaps want me to continue with this series :) I hope you have a great day/night wherever you are!!♥♥♥

#bangtanarmynet #bangtan bookclub #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #bts #my fics

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6stronghands · 5 years

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Goodreads interview with Seanan McGuire

Author Seanan McGuire is the busiest person you know, even if you don't know her yet. She's that busy. McGuire has 33 novel-length works currently listed on her bibliography page, and that's not counting her pseudonymous acquaintance, Mira Grant. Scroll down and you'll find short fiction, essays, comics, nonfiction, and poetry. The crazy part? She didn't turn to full-time writing until about three years ago. Along the way, McGuire has won several marquee book prizes, including Hugo and Nebula awards for speculative fiction. Her series of fantasy novellas Wayward Children was recently picked up by the TV network Syfy for development. McGuire's brain is clearly a restless explorer, and her ambitious new novel, Middlegame, maps out another enormous chunk of notional real estate. In the new book, a pair of separated twins named Roger and Dodger endeavor to solve a series of increasingly sinister mysteries. Why were they separated? Why are they being hunted? Why are they developing world-breaking powers? And perhaps most importantly—why did they get such ridiculous names? The brother-and-sister team find themselves squaring off against a cabal of eldritch predators who have cracked the ancient code of alchemy, the missing link between science and magic. Speaking from her home outside Seattle, McGuire talked with Goodreads contributor Glenn McDonald about the new book, the weird science of alchemy, and the curious case of the prescription typewriter… Your bibliography is really astonishing. Are you just writing all the time? Seanan McGuire: Well, I'm not writing at the moment because I'm talking to you. But yeah, I was writing right up to the point where my phone rang. That's pretty much my life, because I am a workaholic and I enjoy what I do. GR: When did you make the leap into full-time writing? SM: I made the transition around January 2016, I think. The best advice I ever received from anyone, about professional writing, was from Todd McCaffrey. He said: Don't quit your day job until you're reasonably sure you can pay your bills off of your royalties. My last job was for a nonprofit, and I was basically sick all the time because I was writing all these books and I was still working a full-time day job. My friends never saw me. Like, never. Then the ACA happened, the Affordable Care Act. I don't think people realize what a difference that made, for all of us that work in the creative fields, to be able to get affordable insurance. I kept my day job for a few years after I strictly had to, just because I was terrified of dying under a bridge. The attacks on the ACA that are happening now are terrifying. Genuinely terrifying. Especially if they take away the protection for preexisting conditions. GR: Were you into writing as a little kid?

I was. I did not figure out that writing was an option until I was about three. I started reading before I was talking, really. Then I started getting migraines because I was trying to write, but I didn't have the physical coordination to actually write at the speed that I could think. So the doctor prescribed a typewriter. Really. My mom went to a yard sale and got me this gigantic thing. It weighed more than I did. I started writing stories. At the beginning, they were all very factual. I would write stories about going to look for my cat. A lot of my earliest work was what we would classify as fan fiction now. There were a lot of adventures with My Little Ponies. The thing about being a genius when you're a kid is that you grow out of it. I was perfectly average by the time I hit school. But there was that brief, frustrating time when I was so far ahead of where they wanted me to be that they just didn't know what to do with me. I would write until 3 a.m. on my typewriter, which sounded like gunfire. GR: There seems to be some of that experience in the new book, with the child prodigies Roger and Dodger. Their relationship is fascinating; it's a sibling thing but also this deeper connection that suggests they're resonating on the cosmic level. SM: I love that this is my best-reviewed book so far and it's about characters with intentionally terrible names. It's a delight to have people have to try to talk seriously about the relationship between Roger and Dodger. It's terrible, and it makes me so happy. Roger and Dodger really are soul mates because they are functionally the same person. They're one person split into two to embody the Ethos [the alchemy formulation sought after in the story]. I don't think that's a huge spoiler; that's basically the premise of the book. We know that, but they don't for a good part of the story. Locking down their relationship, a lot of that was looking at my own relationships with my siblings and the places where it's good or weird or awkward. GR: For readers who might not be familiar, what do we mean when we talk about alchemy? SM: Alchemy is sort of like magical chemistry. It's this idea that you can transform parts of the world into other parts of the world. You just have to figure out the right combination of elements. The classical example is lead into gold. But alchemists also believed that there were spirits and such that could be called upon to help with these processes. It has some of what we might call sorcerous ideas. They were trying to find the magical formulae for these things, like the panacea, which is the cure for everything. Or the alkahest, which is the universal destroyer, a fluid that could dissolve literally anything. Then there's the Philosopher's Stone, which was said to give eternal life. Harry Potter fans are probably familiar with alchemy, more than previous generations, because of the character Flamel, who was an actual and quite famous real-world alchemist. GR: Did you research the actual history of alchemy?

Yes, this was the first time I really jumped into it. I did a lot of research, and research makes me so happy. I hunted down every book I could find on alchemy; they're all downstairs in the library now. Alchemy was a real thing, even if it never worked, even if they never turned lead into gold with these processes. Really smart people spent a really long time trying hard to make these things happen. I wanted to make sure what I was trying to do would fit into at least one school of alchemical thought—and there were many, many schools of thought. Alchemy sounds a little ridiculous now, but there was a time when it was a commonly accepted belief. GR: In the book you have a great villainous force in the Alchemical Congress, who are modern practitioners of the ancient art. They reminded me of historical groups that purported to be keepers of secret knowledge, like the Masons. SM: Right, or like the Order of the Golden Dawn. I never found a specific historical analog to that in alchemy, but maybe that's because they never got it to work. My Alchemical Congress is a group of people who can actually say that alchemy works. They're able to do all kinds of ethically negotiable things. With that kind of power, you're absolutely going to have a group that locks it down so it stays in what these people consider the right hands. GR: The cover image of the book depicts a delightfully creepy magical item known as the Hand of Glory, which also has a historical basis. Do you recall when you first came across that? SM: I feel like I've always known. I don't remember where I first read about that. I studied folklore in college, and the Hand of Glory was very common in certain parts of Europe. It's amazing. Everyone was chopping hands off for a while there. GR: When did you actually start writing Middlegame? SM: Middlegame is kind of unique. I'd been thinking about it for ten years, but it took me a while to develop the technical skill to tell the story and have it make sense to people who don't live inside my head. My brother must have heard me explain this story 90 times before I even sat down to write it. At this point in my career, I have the enviable problem that, for the most part, I don't get to just sit down and decide that I'm going to write. Everything has been pre-sold. I'm working off contracts until 2023. So I know exactly what I'm going to be writing every day when I get out of bed. GR: Don't you ever just get burned out? SM: Well, I think I'm dealing with ten years of systemic burnout because I'm exhausted all the time. But if you mean: Do I ever get to the point that I can't write? Thankfully, no. I think everybody's wired differently that way. So much of my storage space is devoted to people who don't exist. There's a certain concern that if I leave them alone, those parts of my brain will go offline. GR: There are fictional lives at stake! SM: There are! You don't depend on me for your persistence of existence. If I forget about you, you'll still be fine. GR: Your series Wayward Children was just picked up for development with the Syfy channel. Is there anything you can disclose about that? SM: No, not really. For the most part, for myself and other creators, we can't disclose anything because they don't want to let us know what's happening. We have family members that are going to ask, and they don't want us to be the leaks and endanger the production, so we're frequently not told things. I've basically just sold them my canvas, because I'm a wee baby author from the perspective of Hollywood. I have no properties under my belt, I have no track record. There's not a lot of bargaining power on my side of the table. But I trust the people that are involved in this project. And even if I didn't, honestly, television changes everything. The worst show that absolutely butchers my concepts—which is not a thing I'm expecting with this team at all—but the worst show in the world is going to be seen by more people than have read the first book. So that bumps my book sales, almost guaranteed. That sounds very mercenary, I'm sure, but that's just the math of it. Jim Butcher, Charlaine Harris, even Neil Gaiman—they weren't household names until they got something on TV. My mother raised three daughters on welfare, and she lives with me. I'm basically her sole support. I worry fairly regularly about what would happen if I get hit by a bus and can't write anymore. But what happens with a successful TV show—or even a failed TV show—is that my mom lives off my royalties for the rest of her life. GR: This is a question we've been polling authors on: When you read for pleasure, do you read one book at a time or do you have several going at once? Some people say it's insane to read multiple books at the same time, but I usually have two or three going. SM: Well, I'm currently reading six. GR: Is there anything else you'd like to highlight or discuss about the new book? SM: Middlegame is currently a standalone, but there are two follow-ups I'd really like to write, so please buy Middlegame from your local bookstore so that my publisher will let me continue!

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silvertonguedslavicwitch · 6 years

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Πειρασμός | Peirasmós

Chapter 4 : Series of Betrayal

After so many months of residing in Kattegat, serving as nothing more than a thrall to the princes of the household, this was finally the first time she had the treatment she once received before. The other thralls were careful not to braid her hair too tight as she wasn't a viking like them. She was a foreigner, a princess who just so happened to hold a high price and value to some. They had a mild practice of braids back in her homeland, but none like them. However, she grew to be enthralled by their braids, seeing the numerous variety they were able to weave through.

After washing herself up, she leaned against the chair that was placed before a mirror that she found sorted somewhere in between the chest that she received earlier. She noticed, the people of Kattegat did not possess such trinket. They used the water for reflection purposes instead. Which was quite dangerous, if she had a say in it. Throughout her time there, she was always surrounded by dirt and had to clean herself twice more than she was used to. Now, she was returning to her former flair. She decided to wear the proud green coloured dress that symbolizes her defiance, somewhat. It wasn't that bright of a colour but nonetheless, brighter than anything she's seen they wore. The jewelries and crowns that laid before her was arranged neatly. Her hazel hues never left its gaze, as she watched the emerald stone gleam in the late evening. As soon as the crown rested comfortably on her head, was when she blinked after a while of being in a daze.

Donning herself decently with the previous preparation, she glanced at her reflection one last time before walking out. Erika looked like herself again. But she didn't feel it. Which came to her as an entirely vague feeling, because she saw the small void left behind. She felt empty. Walking out from her room, she almost bumped into Margrethe, who just came out of Hvitserk's room. She paid her no attention as she ignored her presence before gliding towards the main hall. The affairs between the two brothers and the blonde thrall wasn't unknown to anyone in Kattegat. They weren't exactly masters at being discreet. By the time she arrived, everyone was already there, with the exception of Hvitserk, who no doubt came sauntering a few minutes later with his disheveled state.

“You cleaned up well.” Sigurd noted, a genuine smile playing by his lips. Sigurd was sometimes rude to Ivar but it wasn't without a reason. He was neglected as a child whereas Ivar was dotted upon. It wasn't as if Ivar was the golden child there, so the raven haired princess understood his clear distaste towards his youngest brother. He was, perhaps, the only brother who bothered to learn more about the art and culture of the world. He played music and was highly fascinated by her stories that she told regarding her homeland, and even Wessex.

As a child, she didn't stay in one place for long due to the frights of being assassinated by those who wished to overthrow their family's dynasty. Her parents left the world early, both killed by their trusted advisor, leaving a 6 year old Erika caring for her younger brother, Alek. They probably would have not survived the day if it wasn't due to a loyal minister who sneaked them out and reached out to their contacts. She was given to King Ecbert, the current King of Wessex and Mercia, who raised her up well with no expense spared. Her younger brother, who is now the current King, was given to their mother's sister in Sicily. However, he returned with large forces as a child, led by their minister to retook their home and has been ruling it ever since. Erika never had a desire to rule over their kingdom, not once. She doesn't see herself as a leader, nor a follower. She was a warrior, a fighter. Who will live her life accordingly to what she believes.

While waiting for her brother's arrival, she was pushed into her own memory lane. She remembered being spared by Ragnar when she was 10, because King Ecbert sent her to King Aelle in Northumbria to preside her growth while he was away. He had covered her with a blanket and came back as soon as the other vikings emptied the house. She asked for a name and he gave it to her. Ever since then, she saw herself as an individual who was given a second chance at life. Which was why she intends to make the most and best of it. It was until then, that her brother had graced the room with his presence. A smile adorning his handsome features as he embraced his sister. “Brother.” It has only been months but she has missed him dearly.

Before her departure to Algeciras from Wessex, when he visited her in England, was the first time she saw him in person after being separated for 20 years. They had to grow far from each other, for reasons she now understood. After their brief reunion, both Russians took their respective seats by the table. “I heard you wish for me to spare some of my soldiers at your expense. In return for my sister's safe return.” Despite being younger than her, the 21 year old prince was very mature and wise when needs to be. It was supposedly a given since he has governed over their kingdom since a young age.

The nod he received from Bjorn made him raise his eyebrows. “I have another proposal to adjourn, instead. A better outcome for you Northmen.” She wasn't sure what it was that he was planning but she trusts her brother to do the best possible thing. Which was a huge mistake on her side as what comes out from his mouth was not what she expected. “An alliance.” Bjorn lets out a strangled laugh, but Alek didn't seem to be laughing alongside his brothers. The fact that both siblings had the gift on speaking their language made it easier for both sides. Soon, the eldest Ragnarsson stopped his jest and beckoned for her brother to proceed. “Alliances can break any time. It has been broken even before the dawn of time. Why would this one be any different?” Erika just had to voice her opinion on this matter, because she just had to.

“It depends on both sides of the party, sister. If both could offer the same stance, it should withhold.” While she could not disagree with his words, she disapproved greatly. The difference between the alliance they had with the Saxons and the Northmen would prove to be very distinct. “I will give you aid in going after King Aelle of Northumbria, to avenge your father. However, this alliance should not die as soon as both of us has no need for each other no longer. And so, I will offer you the one I hold dear most, in return for none of you will go raiding our small lands in the East no more, and what comes next of it if you followed your father's dream on conquering other kingdoms.” She didn't know where this direction was going but stood silent despite her inner self threatening to bust itself there. The brothers seemed to be interested in this said proposal, especially Bjorn and Ubbe. “And what is it that you hold dear most, your Highness?” His answer caught her off guard.

“My sister.”

What?

“Before you ask why I would give her away so easily, I will tell you my reasons. My sister is the eldest child, despite being a daughter and not a son to both our parents, inherited the privileges given to first borns, in our custom and tradition. She relinquished her claim to the throne, in favor of me. As of now, she is only the Princess of Novgorod and Sicily, befitting her current status. She also holds command over our Rurik army as their commander. But, I do not wish to marry, thus making my sister my successor to the throne, after my departure. She will then hold control over everything that governs our rights. Her children will be the future successors after her. If you were to marry her, one of you would be prince to both kingdoms we have now. That is more than you could find yourself wanting. Even greater, when one of you will end up becoming King after my death when Erika becomes Queen. And your children will be heirs to more than what you could imagine having now. Isn't that much more valuable than one or two army?” She cannot believe what was coming out from her own beloved brother's mouth. Was he selling her out just like that with no regard of asking?

“Am I allowed a say in this?” It comes back to a conversation- or argument, where none but the two of them were able to understand. They were conversing in their native tongue. “Yes.” The fuming royal gripped the steel knife on her right hand, which would have been dangerous to anyone who walks over her temperament, at the moment. “You said you would never force me to do something I don’t wish to do. You said you would never force anything upon me.” Through her gritted teeth, her jaws clenched itself tightly as the scowl masked over her delicate features. “I did. But did you not swear to do anything in your power for our kingdom? Did you not swear you would lay your life for Novgorod?” Erika hated that her own flesh and blood brother was using her words against her. “I did. I would gladly die for Novgorod.”

“Then it should not bother you to marry.” Sighing in aggravation and frustration, she loosens her grip onto the knife. “But this is another thing, Alek.. Marriage is a sacred duty. A duty I would not mind taking up upon if needed, but to a Varangian? Is that even possible? Would our Lord not be angry with me? To spite such hatred for me?” She knew she could not fight her brother, if not as a sister, she would never be able to pull a weight down on his words as King. A King she swore her fealty to in all perpetuity. “Their uncle, Rollo, the Duke of Normandy married Princess Gisla of Frankia. They also had 3 children together.. Is that not a sign for their prosperous life?” The Russian had heard of them but it was different. She could not accept this will. “He renounced his Gods and became a Christian. That alone is different.” With no more argument to throw, she found herself slumped against her seat, a sour look present across her face.

“It is settled. Now which one of your brothers will marry my sister?” She could already calculate the chances. Bjorn was already married. Ubbe was going to marry Margrethe, if she heard correctly. And Ivar was not an option, not that she thought so, because her brother wanted confirmation on heir, or heirs, soon. Their viking tradition might be different from their own, but a married man can never marry a second legally, before an annulment. Which can only be reached by the spouse's death or unconsummated marriage. Both which she was sure not abided by the likes of them. “Why not her favourite person.” Ubbe suggested and she stopped herself playing with the knife in her hand. She knew exactly where this is going. Her most ‘favourite' person would have to be a war in between two people but one of them were already out of the equation, in impotency issues, so there could only be one left. “You can't be serious..”

The third prince did not look so thrilled on being tied down so early in his life, but knowing well what he'd get in return, he wasn't really complaining. “Your wedding will take place after your quest to Northumbria. Under one condition, my sister will lead the Rurik army.” Though they find it hard to believe that, especially Ivar, who was not liking the fact that his brother is marrying a Christian, and that a woman like her will lead a large army, Bjorn made sure they were voted on and it was settled.. Unanimously. It has only been a few hours since she thought she got a grasp of her freedom and now it was taken away. Not only is she forced to wage a possible war with her ward, King Ecbert who is King Aelle's ally; who no doubt will come to his aid. But she is also forced into a marriage she did not wish for, with an individual she was sure she scorned over. Who said being a princess is easy.

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#hvitserk #hvitserk x oc #ivar the boneless #ivar #bjorn ironside #vikings #sigurd #ubbe #peirasmós

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kylos-girl-blog · 6 years

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Moving On Is Hard To Do

(A/N: Hey, hey! This was part of a story that I wrote for my OC, but I decided to change her whole arc and do something else with her entirely. I liked this little one shot a lot though so I decided to turn it into a reader story, hooray! Takes place after Ben's fall (approximately 2 years after) So I don't think the Resistance has recruited Poe at this point and he's still with the New Republic navy stationed on Mirrin Prime. Also, a Kaadu is the big animal the Gungans rode in A Phantom Menace, for reference.)

Warnings: None really, a little bit of angst, little bit of fluff. Reader gets harassed just a little but thats about it.

You hated parties, or at least you did once you had gotten older. Now that you were on Hosnian Prime working with Senator Berenko it seemed like there was some gala or meeting every time you turned around.

You hated forcing a smile and dancing with every Tom, Dick and Harry that came your way. Who bowed, making a big show telling you how pretty and smart you were, all while ogling your breasts. It made you cringe when they touched you, made your skin crawl.

To them you were just a bauble, something pretty to hang on their arms and make them feel good about themselves. They tried to talk to you but all they wanted to talk about was how gorgeous your eyes were, how pretty you looked, no one ever actually spoke to you like you were a human being, who by most accounts was smarter than they were, which was why you hated parties.

Now you were backed into a corner as some Senator from who the force knew where, was leering at you. He was your father’s age for makers sake, but he insisted you accompany him to this military ball. You backed farther away, as politely as you could, the manners that had been drilled into your head since your childhood refusing to be overridden, as you forced a smile and politely refused his offer for the second time.

“I’m so sorry Senator. I really can’t, but I thank you for your offer all the same.” Your voice was firm as you said this, and you took another step back as he moved closer. This man, Amarkin you finally remembered, had no concept of personal space, and despite his larger stature he moved quick. His graying blonde hair swept to the side to hide what you were sure was a receding hairline, over a wrinkled forehead colored like the underbelly of a kaadu. It was obvious the man never really went outside in the sunlight, too busy lining his pockets with ill-gotten funds and drinking enough Corellian whiskey to drown a large rat.

“Why not?” He pouted, much like a spoiled youngling told he couldn’t have his favorite sweets, “It'll be too late to work on the archives, and there are no major bills coming up to help Berenko with. Come now, I have no one to go with, since my wife is off planet. I insist you accompany me. We can make a night of it.” his eyes roamed down the length of you, and somehow by a miracle of the force you were able to repress the shudder of revulsion that crept its way up your spine.

The way he said the end part made bile rise in your throat. You knew exactly what he meant by that statement, he’d been trying for months to lure your someplace where he could be could be alone with you. You weren’t dumb enough to fall for it though, which you knew frustrated him.

“-I really can’t Senator, because I-“

“Because she's already agreed to go with me.” A smooth voice behind the older Senator said. They both looked to address the man in a pilots jumpsuit, He had dark hair and eyes with an olive complexion, you recognized him from somewhere, but couldn’t quite place where. A small orange and white BB unit rolled up next to him.

You breathed a sigh of relief and gingerly stepped around the Senator to stand beside him, mouthing a thank you to your savior before turning to face Amarkin once again.

“Oh, Dameron. Didn’t know you two even knew one another. Don’t you have duty that night?” The agitation in his voice was palpable, but Dameron didn’t even flinch as he put his arm around your shoulders pulling you flush to his side.

“I’m off that night. So, I ran into my friend here and asked her to go.” Dameron said winking at you, making your face grow hot.

Defeated, and a little more than angry at being thwarted the Senator left, throwing a “If he has duty again that night you know where to find me.” Over his shoulder.

You breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed slumping against Dameron’s side, as Amarkin turned a corner, leaving you and the handsome gentleman who saved you alone.

“You alright?” he asked squeezing your shoulder. You nodded.

“Thank you. I have no idea how I was going to get out if that if you hadn’t come along.” You laughed, and he smiled down at you.

“You looked like you were in distress, besides, I know he doesn’t like the word no. Seems to barely understand it from what I’ve seen in holo’s to be honest.”

You put out your hand and formally introduced yourself. He shook it, it was warm, rough and calloused.

“Poe Dameron.”

“Commander Dameron? As in the son of Shara Bey and Kes Dameron? You’re commander of Rapier squadron, right?” It was hard to hide the excitement in your voice as you said this, nearly bouncing out of your shoes. His parents were legends, ones that your parents had only known in passing during their time in the Rebellion.

“You know your stuff. I’m impressed.”

You snorted a little. “Please don’t be. I’m just a history nerd who knows way too much trivia for her own good.”

There was a very loud, unimpressed series of beeps from below the two of you, the BB unit that had accompanied him was not happy about being left out of the conversation and let both of you know it.

“Oh, I’m sorry buddy, this is BeeBee-ate.”

You smiled and said hello to the little droid, who beeped a very polite greeting.

“He’s adorable.” You practically gushed.

“He’s my right-hand man, don’t know where I'd be without him.”

BB-8 beeped a response that made you shake with repressed laughter as you covered your mouth.

“That’s not entirely true BeeBee, I’d have made it out of there. Eventually.” His cheeks seemed to darken in embarrassment for the briefest of moments before he cleared his throat and stuffed his hands in his back pockets nervously.

“You’re Senator Berenko’s aide, right?” you nodded. “I also work on the Republic’s archives in my free time. We’re here for the annual military inspection. I was on my way to send some files off when Amarkin cornered me.”

There was a few moments of silence as the two of you stood in the hall, neither of you sure how to act on what was happening between you.

BB made what could be only be the droid equivalent of an exasperated sigh and rolled up behind you bumping himself against the back of your legs pushing your toward Poe.

‘If you don’t ask your I will for you.’ He chimed at Poe, who turned another, deeper shade of red.

Poe cleared his throat nervously, “So, listen, I really am free that night if you wanna go.”

Now it was your turn to turn scarlet. It had been so long since someone near your age had offered, and here was the most irresistible pilot asking you to go with him. You would have been stupid to say no.

“I’d love to.” You breathed.

~~~

You'd never had so much fun in your life, dancing and talking for hours, you were incredibly grateful for the distraction, even if only for a little while. Senator Amarkin glared at you and your handsome date all evening, stewing in his own muck as he got drunker and drunker. He tried several times to approach you and ask for a dance, but Poe wouldn’t let him, slyly sneaking your away every time he saw him get close.

That was how you both wound up on the open patio. The fresh air was wonderful and Mirrin Prime's city was much calmer than Hosnian Prime’s capital. You were both leaning against the carved railing looking out at the skyline chatting quietly about different things. Your parents, your jobs, where you had both grown up. It was so nice to talk to someone who understood what growing up with parents who had been in the Rebellion was like, there had only been one other person who you had been able to talk this freely with.

“I've never seen you fly before, but a few of the senators have told me it’s incredible to watch. Better than some of the racers in the Five Saber’s.”

“Do you have any experience flying?” he asked as he moved a little closer to you.

“I don’t particularly have an affinity for it." You answered shaking your head. "I’m sure if I was shown what to do I could at least off planet, but nothing like the feats you pull off."

“Where’d you get these?” He asked holding up your wrist to admire the gold bangles. The intertwined birthstones glittered in the city’s lights, reminding you of when you had first gotten them.

“A friend. He gave then to me for my birthday when I was nineteen.” You answered simply.

“Do I know this friend?”

You shook your head, Ben and Poe had never met, which had been surprising considering how close their parents had worked during the Rebellion. “I don’t think you two ever met, but you probably knew of each other. I think a lot of us who had parents in the Rebellion know of one another, but we're all so spread out, not many of us meet.”

He nodded his agreement. “True, we should have a club, where we all talk about our parents and their stories. I’m sure your dad would love it.” he teased, you giggled like a school girl. “Oh please no. We'd be there for hours. I don’t think he’d ever leave the stage.”

The two of you stared for a moment, silent, for the first time all night, leaning closer to each other in the dim lighting.

A shout interrupted the calm stillness of the air around you, and you turned your head away at the last second. Several other officers were leaving the gala, laughing and shouting as they stumbled over their own feet. They had to have been drunk you thought shaking your head as you laughed to yourself, your heart thundering in your rib cage at the thought of how close you had been to kissing him. 'Not yet.' your heart sighed, not ready to let go just yet. That stubborn thread of hope unable to be cut, even after two years.

The moment gone, Poe tugged at your elbow to get your attention. You could tell he was a little disappointed but he didn't push, and you were all the more grateful for it.

“I think he’s gone if you want to head back inside?” It was getting a little chilly.

“Yes, besides you owe me another dance.” You said entwining your arm with his, trying to lighten the mood between the two of you once again.

“As many as you want. We have all night.”

It was so nice to finally have a connection with someone, but there was a nagging voice in the back of your mind, making you feel terrible for having fun like this with anyone else, even as Poe entwined his fingers with yours and led you back inside to the brightly lit ball room.

Ben was gone, and the sooner you accepted that, the sooner your heart could move on.

Even though Ben Solo was dead a part of his feelings still lingered inside Kylo Ren. Every now and then they bubbled to the surface like a toxic sludge to pester him. He was normally able to push it back down, back into the deepest recesses of his soul, but today he couldn’t seem to make it stop.

He picked up his datapad and stared at the article. He kept tabs on the Republic, it was part of his responsibility to try and stay one step ahead of them, watch for weaknesses. That’s what he told himself at least.

‘Thought you might like to see this.’ Hux had sent. He could almost hear it in the man’s sniveling voice.

Today’s article was frivolous in its subject matter. It talked of a military ball, one the New Republic had been hyping up for weeks. His lip curled in disgust, what a waste of time.

The front holo picture was what caught his eye first.

He stopped and stared at the holo of her. She was smiling up at some pilot, while he twirled her around on the dance floor her eyes sparkling in happiness.

It was like a punch to the gut. That smile, the way her hair fell, everything. He almost tossed the thing across the room but thought better of it. Stars, she was more beautiful than he remembered.

Shaking with rage, he read the caption under the holo. “Republic Commander Dameron and Senatorial Aide (L/N)”

There was some speculation as to what their relationship was, but it went no further.

Another holo caught her as she laughed at something Dameron said to her and It took all of his training to force the bubble of emotion that welled up inside him back down again.

So, she was a Senator’s aide now too. He slammed the datapad down on the table and left the room, wanting to break everything in his path.

The image of her smiling like that at anyone else was driving him nuts. He hated it, hated the way he felt, hated that Ben Solo's feelings for her had not dissipated. If anything, they were stronger now that he was free to feel them as much as possible. This Sith had gotten one thing right, Peace was a lie.

He stomped into the training facility and flicked on a switch, determined to destroy something, and distract himself from these emotions as they warred inside of him.

By the end of the session, he was dripping with sweat his black hair sticking to his reddened face as he took deep, nearly gasping breaths as he worked through the pain. He had destroyed at least three training droids and had exhausted himself past the point of caring, or at least that’s what he told himself.

After showering he went to eat, sitting at the small table in his room, the datapad still face down where he’d threw it earlier.

He stared at the stupid thing, It was taunting him, laughing as if he was too weak to push past his feelings for her, but he had to, if he was going to become like his grandfather, he had to move on.

He couldn’t stop himself as he picked it up and let his fingers glide over the screen, accessing files he hadn't opened in almost two years.

Holo's and pictures and every message she’d ever sent. He couldn’t quite bring himself to delete them just yet, justifying keeping them so he could remind himself of what he couldn’t afford to be weak about.

Her soft voice was pleading in the first one as she looked straight into the commlink. ‘Please, please answer me.’ Fat tears rolled down her cheeks before she wiped them away with the back of her sleeve and tried to keep her composure.

She was sobbing in the next begging, pleading with him.

“Please, please come back. Please answer me. Let me know you’re okay.”

That had been the one to break his heart the most, he had replied to it, in a moment of weakness just to let her know he was safe, it hadn’t been a lie either, but he had paid for that one word, Snoke had made sure of that.

Eventually he watched them all, with a sort of detached numbness. He glanced at the date of the last one, it was after he’d destroyed the new Jedi order.

She had sent it not even knowing if he would ever receive it. Her bright eyes looking into the lens as if she was resolved to whatever had happened to him. Did she know, he wondered, or was she in the dark as to what exactly had happened?

‘I don’t know where you are, I don’t know what happened, I just wanted to let you know I’ll be here. If you ever need me, I’ll be right here. I-“ he shut it off before she could finish and tossed it to the other side of his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his heart, soul and mind at war with one another.

Ben Solo was dead. His feelings and attachment to his family and friends had made him weak, unable to take his true place in the galaxy. She was just another one of those things that weakened him.

#kylo ren x reader #poe dameron x reader #kylo ren x you #poe dameron x you #star wars #reader insert #kylo ren #poe dameron

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