#but this one is romantic in such a poetic way i'm losing my mind over it

[yanderes-galore]

Hello! I love much your writing!! 💕 Can i please request yandere Thor with prompts 37 + 4

I'm happy you love my writing! I was assuming my prompts so here you go :) Kept it general but I guess this takes place sometime after the first Thor movie or after Thor: The Dark World. Which could range anywhere before or after Endgame, lol.

Yandere! Thor Prompts 37 + 4

"We should get married! It's been long enough, hasn't it?"

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it."

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Clingy behavior, Mutual relationship turns forced, Obsession, Implied paranoia, Slight delusional behavior, Jealousy/Possessive behavior briefly implied, Forced marriage, Trauma implied.

If Thor was new to Earth you could understand his lack of privacy as something like Asgardian culture shock. However... Thor has been acquainted with Earth for years now. You'd think he'd learn to give you, his significant other, privacy.

The Asgardian's affection started as comforting and even cute! When you started getting to know each other he was in a pretty rough place while trying to protect his people and home. You ended up helping him through his break up and grief due to many events in his past.

When he eventually asked to date you, how could you not accept? Dating someone like Thor sounded like a dream. It was like a dream...

For the most part.

Thor is nothing but caring towards you, you can still say that even now. The issue is his inability to be away from you. For someone as intimidating and strong as Thor, it's strange to see him so upset over you leaving his side.

When you're together Thor loves the feeling of you in his arms. You find yourself always encased in his hold one way or another. Laying down, sitting, or standing... Thor has himself draped over you.

Thor peppers you in kisses and praises. He holds you like you're as precious as any jewel, maybe even more. Thor is dedicated and loving... completely devote to his Midgardian love.

"My heart belongs to you, I'll adore anything you do to it." Thor murmurs to you when you're alone, saying it like a promise. In his mind you'll always be together, he never wants to lose you.

You find it flattering, it's a cute display he does to show affection. You just thought Asgardians were poetic and affectionate with their love. Even if that is true about their culture...

You wish Thor would stop claiming what he's doing as "dedication" rather than "obsession".

Thor's affection only ever increased. It grew to the point Thor never left your side. People originally thought of it as cute that Thor adored you so much. Now it bordered on strange.

His affection was usually soft and caring. It's just there was too much of it. That and when others were around, you noticed his grip tighten.

Encouraging him to at least stand beside you instead of hold you all the time is met with opposition. There's minor fights but nothing too bad. You try to tolerate his behavior and excuse it with his past. He's lost loved ones... surely he's just a bit shaken still?

You thought you could tolerate it... but when Thor asked for your hand in marriage, holding onto your hand while on his knees, you feel trapped.

"My Dear..." He starts, a grin on his face. "We should get married! It's been long enough, hasn't it?"

"Thor..." You say hesitantly, watching as he kisses the back of your hand. "Don't you think it's too soon?"

"What makes you say that?" Thor asks, concern lacing his voice. You have trouble swallowing.

"It feels too soon for me. I love you, I just feel we should take things slow. It's only been-"

"Almost two years, dear. It's almost been two years. Why must you make me wait even longer for you?" Thor sighs, standing up and pulling you into his chest. "I've pledged my loyalty to you and our love... can you not do the same?"

"I'm just a bit scared-"

"There's nothing to be scared of. I'm here to love and lay my life down for you."

"Why are you forcing me?"

Thor thinks for a moment, pulling away to look at you.

"I'm forcing you?"

"Can't we wait a little longer? To see if things work out?"

"Things will work out. I know they will."

"Then we can wait!"

"I don't WANT to wait, dear! I want you to be mine until the end. Who knows when I will have the ability to ask you again...."

"... then I want to call things off."

That phrase creates a deafening silence. Thor's face is that of shock, trying to discern if you meant what you said. Meanwhile... you just look like a cornered animal.

"... you can't."

"Thor, you may have been royalty in Asgard, but this is Earth. I have the right to refuse marriage. It wouldn't be happy between us if we forced it!"

"I can't lose you, dear. This is why I wanted to marry in the first place. We can't throw away what we have now!"

"Please, Thor... I need a break." You say, turning around.

Only for Thor to grab your waist.

"I promise it will be to your liking. A combination of Asgard and Midgard tradition. I'll give you the prettiest ring. You'll be lovely...."

"Thor. Let me go."

"... and if I say no? What will you do then?"

You realize you can't do anything. Thor is much stronger than you. Him holding you like this is effectively a vice grip.

"Thor... please, I love you. We just need a little break."

"If you love me..." Thor whispers, turning your face so he can kiss the corner of your lips. "Then we'll marry."

"If I say no?" You whimper, Thor looking at your eyes briefly. His gaze is dark, pools of yearning within them getting darker.

"We'll work things out...."

---

The cold metal of the ring felt uncomfortable on your finger. The outfit you wore was overly pretty and much to your spouse's taste. It was a wedding... and you were unhappy.

Thor, your soon-to-be husband on the other hand was ecstatic. Part of you wishes you stood your ground, yet how long could you keep that up? Thor is an Asgardian, he could overpower you in seconds.

The entire time up to the wedding and during it, a sensation of feeling trapped weighed heavily in your gut. When you looked at Thor and his behavior... you felt chills. He truly had more power over you than you would've liked.

You were powerless to stop what he had planned.

"My dearest, you look wonderful...." Thor praises you in your outfit. "I understand if you're still nervous... but I promise it will be the same as before."

That's what you were scared of. He was clingy before, now he's going to be even worse in your eyes. You only sigh and nod in response. Thor gives you a smile.

"There's no need to be scared, I'll always be here for you. I love you, my dearest."

He holds you close, a kiss pressed to your lips. You knew he meant this all as comforting, which normally, would be lovely to you.

Yet you never wanted this and the trapped feeling never went away.

There was a need to be scared and Thor, the one you used to love, was the reason behind it.

[sp00kycrumpet]

Find A Way. (3/4)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Rating: E

Tags: season 1, soft!Joel, reader was besties with Maria, idiots in love refusing to admit it, pre-established relationship

Warnings: swearing; character death; spoilers (if you haven't watched the series/played the game)

(Part One) (Part Two)

Will also be posted on my AO3

You couldn't believe it. In your search to find Joel, you'd somehow found his brother instead. All through dinner and your evening with them both, you tried to work out how to bring it up. Maria leant you some clothes to change into, and you were grateful to finally be clean and warm. You padded back downstairs, fingers playing with Joel's necklace as you got lost in your thoughts. Tommy was in the kitchen, tidying up after dinner.

"Hey, didja want somethin' to drink? I think we still have some wine around here." You nodded a little with a smile, thanking him. Tommy poured you a glass of wine, talking about how people were making their own alcohol within Jackson now. He turned to hand over the glass, his eyes falling to the necklace sat around your neck.

"Where'd you get that necklace?" He asked quietly, something in his eyes as you glanced at it.

"Oh this? I was given it." You replied, Tommy frowning a little. You knew Joel never took it off, if this was the Tommy Miller who was your Joel's brother then he'd surely recognise it.

"Who gave it you?" He asked, folding his arms loosely over his chest. The same defensive stance Joel took, there was no doubt who this man was before you. You licked your lips, watching Tommy as Maria came in.

"Woah, serious conversation?" She asked, sensing Tommy's apprehension. Tommy glanced over at her, his posture softening slightly at being around his wife.

"I was just askin' where she got that necklace from." Maria turned to look at it, tilting her head slightly.

"That is an unusual looking pendant." She commented, pouring herself a glass of orange juice. Tommy hummed in agreement. You took a sip of your wine, toying with the glass between your fingers.

"The guy I was looking for gave it to me before he left Boston." Tommy inhaled at that, his eyes not leaving your face. You could tell he was torn between believing you or assuming the worst and Joel was dead, his body looted. His jaw clenched a little as he tried to formulate an answer.

"Oh that's romantic. And you told me you don't know what is between you!" Maria laughed a little, looking at Tommy in confusion when he didn't say anything else. "Tommy? What's wrong?"

"That's Joel's necklace." He muttered, Maria blinking in confusion before looking at you. "If you look on the back of it, there's two deep scratches where he damaged it at work one day, caught it moving some wooden beams and damn near broke his neck." Lifting the pendant slightly, you turned it over and saw that Tommy was right. There was indeed two deep scratches on the back. You looked up at Tommy.

"Why are you here and with my brother's necklace around your neck?" His tone seemed cold, you shifted on your feet uncomfortable. Maria scolded him for being so stand off-ish before glancing at you. You took a breath, placing your wine glass down.

"Because Joel left me in Boston to go on a mission to get a battery for a truck. He couldn't get hold of you and he was losing his mind. He gave me this and promised he'd be back for it but he never showed. So I left to try and find him." Maria's eyes went wide, her gaze moving between you and Tommy.

"Joel Miller is the guy you've been seeing?" You nodded a little.

"I know it seems hard to believe but I'm telling the truth. I didn't intend on coming here, but when I realised I couldn't find Joel. I figured I'd just keep moving… and I ended up here. Almost poetic I set out looking for him and instead find his brother that he was looking for." You twisted your fingers together, Tommy nodding a little before apparently deciding to believe you. The two of them shared a look before Maria faced you, reaching to squeeze your hand gently.

"Well that'll make finding him again easier." She gave a little smile and you couldn't help but worry they were keeping something from you. The topic was dropped for now, instead talking about the cottage Maria was letting you have and her asking if Tommy would mind helping you if anything needed fixing up. He agreed and seemed less irritated now, a smile working over his face.

The next morning, you found Tommy in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Hey, look I'm sorry for bein' a bit of an ass last night. I assumed the worst when I saw that necklace and shouldn't have." You shook your head, watching him.

"Honestly I was wondering if you were the Tommy that Joel spoke of so often and was so desperately trying to find. And how to bring that up. Such a small world that I set out to find Joel and instead found you married to my best friend." Tommy laughed slightly, plating up some bacon and eggs for you.

"Weird, huh?" You nodded, thanking him for the food and sitting down to eat. "Although not as weird as thinkin' my big brother actually let someone close enough to him that he'd hand over that necklace. Joel hasn't dated since Sarah's mother left. The outbreak made him cold. Although for a while I thought he and Tess had a thing. Guess not. But… I'm glad he has someone." You gave a little smile.

"Had. I can't find him, remember?" Tommy paused, making a little noncommittal noise in the back of his throat.

"Joel has a habit of turnin' up when you least expect it. I'm sure you'll find him."

After eating, Maria handed you a bag of clothing and the keys to your new home. It was small, two bedrooms and needed cleaning but it was quite homely. The living room had a fireplace and a small kitchen dining room. You loved it instantly. Tommy helped fix the window shutters and got some cleaning supplies, Maria joined you later in the day with a small box of groceries that would keep you going for a bit while you got settled. You agreed to help where you could around Jackson, Tommy was impressed with your shooting ability after he took you to the range to practise and you blew away half of his troops without even trying. He talked Maria into letting you be part of the daily patrols under the agreement it wouldn't be every day and you could help her with keeping the town running. You seemed to settle in easily, splitting your time between learning patrol routes and your team, and spending time with Maria to learn the ins and outs of Jackson. You were still holding out hope you'd find Joel, catch a glimpse of him while out patrolling and hunting. Maria found you a radio to use and you would scan stations in case his voice came through. As the months went by, you started to lose hope and just focussed on your new life in Jackson. It felt wonderful to be able to spend time with Maria like you used to do before everything happened. Winter passed and Spring crept in, flowers were peeking out through the grounds, birds would chirp and everyone seemed to be happier as the days got warmer. You made a couple of friends, spent most of your time working or helping people out. It felt nice to be needed and to be doing work that wasn't trading expired drugs for a morsel of food.

By February, Maria was ready to give birth, joking she couldn't have a February baby and risk them being born on a leap year. She asked you to be there when it happened, as well as Tommy. You agreed and helped get a bag together for when she needed to go. Excitement for new life took over your days, constantly hanging around Maria's in case it happened. You were woken up in the early hours one morning by Tommy hammering on your door. Maria had gone into labour suddenly, Tommy panicking and grabbing you to watch her while he fetched the doctor. You ran over there, greeting your friend with warm towels and blankets ready. She looked like she was struggling and already tired, you set everything around her including water bottles and anything else you thought she might need. She cried out in pain as the contractions got closer together and more intense. You held onto her hand, trying to help talk her through it and repeat that Tommy was on his way back now. But the baby had other ideas and wanted to be out as soon as possible. You sat between your friends legs, encouraging her and praising her as you saw the baby emerging. You grabbed blankets and a soft towel for once the baby was out. You'd never done anything like this before but figured Maria knew what she was doing. You helped ease the baby out the last few inches, careful cleaning his tiny face before wrapping him up just as Tommy burst through the door. You smiled up at him as Maria gave a tired sigh of his name. You handed the baby to Maria and moved away for the doctor to step in and help. You glanced down at yourself and realised you were a little bloody. But Maria and the baby were both doing fine, Tommy cut the cord before finally having a cuddle with his son. You excused yourself to go downstairs and wash your hands. You couldn't believe you'd just done that, of all the things the apocalypse had forced you to do - midwifery wasn't on the list of things you'd expect. You stood by the back door, taking in some fresh air as you dried your hands. You never heard Tommy approach until he placed a hand on your shoulder.

"You doin' okay?" He asked softly, you smiled up at him and nodded.

"Yeah. Can tick deliver a baby off my Apocalypse Bingo card now." You chuckled, draping the towel over your shoulder once your hands were dry.

"Thank you. I don't know what we'd have done without you." You smiled, patting Tommy's arm gently.

"It's what friends do Tommy. We help each other." Tommy nodded, you let out a breath as you looked out at the garden. Tommy watching you before he pushed a hand through his long hair.

"Look. There's somethin' I need to tell you. At first I didn't because I didn't wanna give you false hope." You looked up at him, your breath catching in your throat.

"What is it Tommy?" Tommy steeled himself, ready for an outburst if you got angry.

"Joel was here." You stared at him.

"What?" Tommy nodded, shifting his weight on his feet before fixing his gaze on you again.

"About a month or so before you showed up. He turned up outta the blue with this kid by his side, said she was some Firefly bosses daughter and he had to take her home. I was sceptical… we had a fight because he didn't act as supportive as I'd hoped when I told him about Maria bein' pregnant. Selfishly I assumed he'd be happy but I guess you never know with Joel." Tommy leaned against the doorframe beside him. "I found him hidin' in a store tryin' to repair his worn out boots with tape. I gave him some new ones and he admitted the truth to me. That she was special, that he was afraid to take her himself because he's been havin' these anxiety attacks and he's slower. Dude's only 56 but actin' like he's 96. He told me someone was waitin' for him at home, but he wasn't sure he'd make the journey back to them again." Tommy glanced at you, you inhaled sharply as you watched him. Tommy nodded a little. "Imagine my surprise when you arrive with Joel's necklace and a similar story to the one he told me." You could feel your hands tremble at the revelation. Joel had been here. So close and yet still so far. That had been so long ago though, you didn't dare think about how long. There was a look exchanged between Tommy and you that you both understood as assuming the worst case scenario.

"Thank you Tommy." You said softly, Tommy nodded.

"I just thought you outta know. I don't know if he will come back but if he doesn't… know he left here with you in his heart still." You smiled slightly, that did make you feel a little better. You heard the baby cry from upstairs and glanced at Tommy.

"Go on dad. I'll see myself out, I got first patrol in two hours so I should probably go shower." Tommy embraced you tightly, thanked you again for your help before dashing off upstairs to Maria and his son. You smiled to yourself before turning to let yourself out of the house, it was an emotional evening and you wanted to just crawl into bed and sulk in self pity for a little while. You stood in the shower, trying to wonder where Joel could possibly have gone and if he'd come home. Or if Tommy had finally told you so you'd stop spending your life waiting for Joel, just in case. You went out on your morning patrol, ending up being sent home early when you almost got swiped off your horse by a low branch. You explained about Maria's baby and your team were less pissed off, but still irritated they were a body short. You slept the whole day once you'd gotten back, a mixture of exhaustion and your brain just shutting down as you tried to accept that you were never going to see Joel again. Maybe you'd finally accept the pestering from a fellow patroller to go out to dinner as a distraction. You burrowed yourself into your blankets, cursing yourself for not telling Joel how you really felt that day he left. You let yourself spend the day relaxing and just sulking, allowing yourself to just be in your feelings for the first time since Joel left.

(Part Four)

[the-crow-binary]

Dracula and Lisa ☕️

OH BOY OH BOY INTERACTION LETS GO OK SO

I actually have two ways of looking at their relationship: One is "if Lisa is Elisabetha's reincarnation" (wich hasn't been confirmed canonically as far as i'm aware ?), the other being, obviously, is Lisa is her own person and not Elisabetha's reincarnation. in both scenarios she pegs Dracula

So to start with the first one:

Love them, they're cute, there's something poetic about Mathias' wife coming back for round 2 as Drac's wife. It's pretty heartwarming, ESPECIALLY considering Lisa brought Dracula's humanity back just by... being her. I don't think she tried anything special. I see it more as something like a "beauty and the beast" kinda story, where the beauty didn't try to change the beast (at least, not actively), but her personnality was so charming that it brought back to life what had died centuries ago in the beast, and encouraged him to be better. And this change is probably what charmed Lisa too, if we consider that she has no memory of her past life (maybe a few flashbacks here and there ?). The only problem is that Dracula changed for HER, not for himself nor anyone else. So, of course, when she died... he had no reason to continue on the right path. He couldn't see any reason, at least, because of his grief and the traumatic memories of losing his first wife.

But yeah, in this version, i see them having a pretty wholesome relationship. ON THE OTHER HAND...

In the context of Lisa NOT being Elisabetha, MAN, HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT OKAY. I mean from a story perspective, it's very interesting, BUT OTHERWISE, LISA, MY GIRL, YOU DESERVE BETTER-

Do I need to explain how toxic it is for Dracula to get in a relationship with a woman just because she reminds him of HIS DEAD EX ?? Going out with someone just because they look like your ex IS ALREADY BAD ENOUGH I MEAN OERIGHSERLGKNESRMLKGN YOU NEED TO GET OVER YOUR LOSS FIRST ?? THE WOMAN ISN'T A REPLACEMENT, SHE'S NOT SOME OBJECT YOU CAN PROJECT ON Y'KNOW ??

Ok hold on i'll explain in a little bit more details:

So, in this context, after 400 years or so, Dracula is STILL not over Elisabetha. Can't really blame him, she's like, the whole reason why he turned into a vampire in the first place... But then Lisa appears, and Dracula immediately sees Elisabetha in her. She's not her, but in Dracula's mind, it's the same thing. He cannot see her as someone else, as her very own person, and say (probably think) he is in love with her, when truly, he's in love with the illusion of his dead wife. And clearly, he'll treat her right ! This "restoring his humanity" thing is still very true, but it's not because of Lisa being herself. It's because she looks like Elisabetha (both in body and mind. I mean we don't know much about Elisabetha but i like to think she was a very smart, kindhearted woman as well), and Dracula has never been able to truly differentiate the two, wich isn't healthy for ANY of them. I can even picture Dracula slipping up and directly calling her Elisabetha at one point, when he was very sleepy (not even remembering it afterwards). Lisa definitely knew, but delt with it anyway, because she knew she had a "good" effect on him (and we know she was ready to sacrifice herself for the "greater good"). It's thanks to her that Dracula calmed down for a few years. Plus, i do think she loved him sincerely, to the bitter end... Dracula did too, in his own twisted way (like he did LEON but that's another story for another day)

But if there's something that both version shares is: Dracula... is SO BAD AT DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF HIS LOVED ONES. HE'S- HE SUCKS AT BEING MENTALLY AND EMOTIONNALLY STABLE. And not JUST THAT, but he also seems to be VERY emotionnally dependent on Elisabetha and Lisa. The whole "he's ready to destroy the world for his lover" is DEFINITELY NOT AS ROMANTIC AS SOME PEOPLE THINK. IT'S TERRIBLE. THE MAN IS INCAPABLE OF MOVING ON NO MATTER HOW MANY CENTURIES PASSES- GUYS IT'S BAD. OUR MAN IS NOT OKAY. And i find it SO GOOD AND INTERESTING. The big bad of Castlevania, the man, no, the MONSTER everyone fears, responsible for LOTS and LOTS of innocent deaths, many curses, even went as far as re-creating the RAREST and most POWERFUL of stones and making a deal with Death itself to steal a powerful vampire soul (consciously provoking the death of his best friend's betrothed in the process)... his lover die and he is CRUSHED. DESTROYED. RUINED. HE CAN'T EVEN THINK NOR CARE ABOUT HOW BAD HE'S HURTING HIS OWN SON. OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. IT'S JUST PURE HATRED TO COVER THE INTENSE GRIEF. It's honestly tragic. And i LOVE IT so much... had Lisa decided to be a therapist instead of a doctor, maybe he wouldn't have turned the way he did lol

ANYWAY... i think about Drac' a lot. Less about Lisa/Elisabetha ngl but i can't think about the Dark Lord's sentimental shortcoming without thinking about them.

[absensia-archived]

let me indulge my decade long obsession with myer-briggs for a second, and put on the record that charlotte has a real problem with those whose dominant or secondary cognitive function is extraverted intuition -- and it has to do with her dynamic with the primordial void as its vessel. while charlotte has and continues to do her best to comprehend the incredibly intangible, horridly abstract, and staunchly impractical nature of something that is ( and always will be ) outside the realm of complete human comprehension, she also made the decision long ago to not worry herself too much over these kinds of abstract, bigger-than-life, and unsolvable philosophical concepts. she does not enjoy spending her time and energy debating ( at length ) topics like the time - space continuum, the meaning of life and the universe, the essence of what a soul is, the significance of dreams, etc. this is, in part, why she isn't the biggest fan of poetry, and has a hard time getting along with people who are often lost in daydreams, who often speak in poetics or with a romantic edge, and who are seemingly so preoccupied with these intangible, dreamy, future - inclined ideas that they miss what is happening right in front of them. she finds these sort of people impractical and foolish; she doesn't hold much appreciation for their starry - eyed gazes, and while she does understand that abstract thinking is indicative of intelligence in its own way, she doesn't care enough for non - applicable theory to indulge this kind of thinking.

char's main qualm with the abstract and tethering of one's entire worldview and way of thinking to intangible possibilities and "what if's" is how it directly clashes with her desire to cling to the practical and tangible wherever, whenever, and however she can get it. she needs to ground herself this way because otherwise, she would be lost to the endless quagmire of fragmentary memories, skewed perceptions, half - truths, and the flux between unreality and reality, the tangible and the uncanny, etc. so, no, it doesn't help the work char literally depends on to make sure she doesn't lose her mind is unsettled by people insist on debating abstract theories w/o tying it back to a practical sense of reality. what i'm not saying is that char is unstable to the point where merely being around these people or speaking about these kind of topics would make her lose her mind; she hasn't made it this far without having worked on her mental fortitude. which is why, when it comes these people like this, char can be anywhere from kind of annoyed to "I absolutely cannot stand this person," where the latter would see her in constant conflict with this person, which by definition, means that charlotte does hold her own in her part of the clashing. of course, even if this is really the way she feels about one of these types of people, it also doesn't mean that she's going to show it, not especially if she's trying to get something from or out of said person.

[yellowloid]

💫, 🎀, 💥, 💋, 💌 for the writing asks 🥰

thank you so much for the questions 🥰

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

i love love love long comments where the reader just goes over a whole list of things that stuck with them while reading, little details, images, ways a character acted, something the characters said; i just absolutely adore hearing about what the reader felt while reading my fics, how a particularly angsty passage put them in their feelings, a very fluffy bit sent them giggling and smiling at the screen, or a smutty scene had them losing their mind skfjshsfh. i also love when people tell me they've got passages from my fics screenshotted on their phone or quoted in their journals, or when they tell me that something i wrote helped them smile when they were sad, or helped them through a difficult time, or simply managed to distract them from real life problems, even if just for a bit. i love knowing that my writing can have a positive impact on other people's lives, no matter how small it might be <3

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i think i'm pretty good at coming up with new images to express the kind of visceral love i write about whenever i write milex, both with the romantic and sexual aspect of it; i also think i do a good job at making the most of the more "aesthetic" part of writing - making sure my words and sentences not only make sense, but also "look good" together. i want my writing to sound as poetic and melodious as it can, that's really important to me and i tend to spend a lot of time trying to achieve that :)

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

my least kudos'd fic is the third and final part of my 'satin and lace' series, 'of loving at will, of loving till death'. my venice honeymoon fic <3 one that, in many ways, closed a chapter of my life that started back when i posted the first part of this series; if you know me, you also know how much this trilogy means to me. writing and posting the last part not only felt like a challenge, but also a quite emotional one sjfhshsjgh because i knew i'd miss those chaotic smitten husbands so much </3

despite it having less kudos than other fics of mine, i'm still really fond of this one. i made so much research for it - which now results in me knowing a whole lot of random trivia about venice - and i'm very satisfied with how realistic and accurate the descriptions of the city turned out, as well as the way they mixed with the expression of their love, the romance and drama of it all... plus i went on vacation this summer and spent a day in venice (i'd visited once when i was a kid but didn't remember much) and it just meant so much to me, visiting that city now that it holds a whole new and special meaning to me <3 it felt so !!!! walking around those sunny alleys and crossing all those bridges over the canals, imagining miles and alex doing the same, hand in hand, disgustingly in love with each other. it was just so magical and special - and i think that fic really captures the spirit of venice as a whole 💙💜

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

absolutely!! i think it's not only ao3 etiquette, but also like... the whole point of it? if i leave a comment it's because i want the author to know i loved their work, and if they never reply i feel like a. they secretly hate me or smth or b. they haven't seen my comment and now they won't know i loved their fic!!!!! when i know damn well that they don't hate me and they also most likely saw the comment and appreciated it, but just didn't reply for whatever reason. some people don't reply to comments and that's okay skfjshfhs but i certainly do in most cases and i definitely want to hear back from other writers when i leave one myself!!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

okay okay so. this is all assuming i don't have a mental breakdown over it and drop it lmao but basically. it's a long-fic. two and a half chapters are already written. it's very angsty and alex is a stupid self-loathing idiot in it (<3). their performance of 'last night i dreamt' by the smiths @ alexandra palace is an out of context spoiler for it. that's all i can say without getting into spoilery details and/or giving away the whole premise of it gkskfjsdhgk

[lwt28brave]

drop your favorite lyric from each fitf song and let us see if you have taste or not!

Thanks @faithinlouisfuture, @polaroidplanets and @fruitylouis for the tag ily ♥ (look at me begging to be tagged and still doing this three days later..... anyway).

The Greatest

Back dancin' in the dark Back to the very start Findin' pieces that can fit Making up for what we missed

I see this song as being about us and I don't think I'll ever see it in a different way. He had a plan, COVID ruined it, we disappeared for a while... but when together again we're the greatest! With this lot behind me, I need you, you need me... So at the end of the day, it's back to the start, trying to make up for the missed opportunities but doing it together ♥

(You can disagree just know you won't change my mind)

2. Written all over your face

It's hard enough to get you sober Got no chance if I'm hungover I ain't even woken up yet Not nearly vertical All I know is I'm in trouble 'Cause the atmosphere's so cold, so

I'm horny, you're horny. We're all horny. Louis is not nearly vertical, but I volunteer to be horizontal with him.

3. Bigger Than Me

So come on, call me "liar" Yeah, you're so quick to judge

We are quick to judge. We did get Change studio version after all. It was in the album.

4. Lucky Again

'Cause I'm a hard man to lose But I figured it out, then made my way back To a life I would choose

I'm not the biggest fan of this song's lyrics. We don't vibe. But since I interpreted this line as introspective and like losing yourself inside of your head and then having to figure yourself out again... I'm going with this.

5. Face the music

Close your eyes and count to ten If you're standin' on the edge of fallin' Open up and looking down Everything that matters is forgotten

Do I know what he's saying? Not really. Do I think that he snaps? Yes. Absolutely. Probably something along the lines of take a deep breath and your fears/anxieties will disappear for a moment so you can enjoy here and now? Can't relate.

6. Chicago

Just because it didn't work doesn't mean it's meaningless to me

I think the idea is cute. You don't have to hate your exes (and even if this is about old friends written with a romantic tone, same goes, just because you and a friend are not speaking anymore it doesn't mean your friendship was less valid).

7. All This Time

When it gets cold Oh, sometimes, sometimes, you lose your hope But the friends we make, the love it takes It's worth, it's worth, it's worth the pain The friends we make, the love it takes It's worth, it's worth, it's worth it all this time

This could be about life in general and it would still break me to pieces but i feel like this is about art. About creating something, about pouring your heart (the love it takes) into a dream... and even if it's hard, it's worth it.

8. Out Of My System

With me, I know you wanna come with me Take anything you can carry And leave everythin' else behind

First of all, yes. But also, we're heading to a disaster because that's who we are so why not stick together.

9. Headline

So fast to judge in error, you thought you knew me better

Pretty straight-forward, but yeah. I really like the meaning of this song bc I feel like it can be understood as both "you used to know me really well and you stopped trying" or as "you never bothered and always stuck to this super stereotyped, first look (headline) idea of me in your brain" and both situations it's always the other person fault so... yes. Growth. Not taking the blame.

10. Saturdays

Somethin' about the way The light catches the mirror in my brain It gives me shade

This is very poetic. Pretty words. Very deep on the introspective side again, how you see your actions reflected on your head.

11. Silver Tongues

I love all the things you know

It's been so hard to pick just one ;;__;; I love, love, love Silver Tongues so much. I adore the fact that there're songs in this album that are so clearly about platonic love and friendship and community and ♥… Okay, clearly I need to ramble about this song on a post of it's own. For me this is what love is about TALK TO ME FOR HOURS ABOUT SHOWS I HAVEN'T SEEN AND VIDEOGAMES I'LL NEVER PLAY AND YOUR FAVORITE SCIENTIFIC THEORY AND I'LL LISTEN. BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU HAPPY!

12. She is beauty we are world class

Conversation is currency Shapes become a language Square eyes and sunglasses Finding faces in the trees Fabricated fairytales Bring a new world to life Sit down, sit down in the space and time

I think this is the time and place to admit I've never been high. Never tried dr*gs, not even we*d. So I don't think I get this song. I don't see what he sees. That being said, the lyricism is starting to grow on me. Floating or whatever.

13. Common People

Common people, not who you know Just how far you're willin' to go If you act like you're one of us Just act like you're one of us

I know I'm about to be jumped for this... this is a sweet song. But a little on the corny, christian rock/country side of the music genre spectrum. I don't know, again, that sense of belonging and community and togetherness I mentioned before.

14. Angels Fly

You'll be okay, we can talk tomorrow I'm on my way with some time to borrow

Some days (most days) you just need Louis Tomlinson to tell you that you'll be okay.

15. Paradise

Lately, lately it's been so easy To see my life completed Instead of half way full

Can't relate. But I'm manifesting. Wish that was me. Like to recast or however that works. The fact that the song that screams Faith in the Future the most is not on the actual album......

16. Holding on to Heartache

There's endless versions of the thing That keeps me driftin' back to darkness

I exercised inhuman levels of restrain by not posting the whole song. This line makes me so sad but it's also so easy to connect with.

17. That's the way love goes

When it cuts you, when you bleed That's when you're feelin' it the most That's the way, that's the way love goes

Ain't this true for every part of life too?? When the feelings are negative they almost drown you, hurt you physically too, they're more intense.

18. High in California

I could just roll the windows down Let the golden hour wash through the room

This song just makes me feels so relaxed, life is easy, there're no problems just sit in the sun and enjoy. I love it.

Tagging: If you wanna do this consider yourself tagged ♥

[starks-hero]

Okay you did not need to deliver such a fucking fantastic fic! Apologies for the entire ass rant I'm about to leave but you don't get to write something this good without some maniac of a fanfic reader squealing and flailing about it so...

Firstly, the title absolutely divine, but then I am a sucker for romantically poetic notions especially if there's a thread of angst in it

This is the first Thorin fic I've ever read, I'm not that big on Thorin (esp not when fili is right there👀 ) but *ahem that gif also your note of 'the intimacy of going insane with your crush' reeled me in, if that isn't the best genre ever! 🤣

You captured the eerie murkiness of Mirkwood so well and you really got Thorin's essence like nothing seemed out of place at all

THE DIALOGUE 👏👏👏 magnifique

'In the bogs of a cursed forest with your friends lost and your mind bewitched, all so that the king would keep looking at you as he was now'>>> I loved every word of this. You know that feeling when you haven't listened to ABBA in a while and then out of nowhere you hear it playing somewhere and there's a rising of joy in your soul and it feels like all the world has been righted. That is the feeling of that paragraph. Sorry but I love words and I love reading and you just killed it with that wording okay

🌌THE WHOLE INTERACTION WITH BOG CREATURE THORIN!!!! "I'm so glad, Amrâlimê, you must not look so surprised, my love" his thumb grazed your jaw, "that I should wish to call you such a name">>>cue me almost throwing my phone and screeching like the fell beasts of the Nazgûl🌌

Not to mention Thorin's interaction with the bog creatures! "Reader" being dismissive about the safety of the others and 'Thorin offering a baffled look that doubled as a warning'

Once again need I mention THE DIALOGUE IN THIS FIC! 💕

Question about the LOTR Dead Marshes, if you drown in there you become one of them, right? So if an siúlóir portaigh get you drowned do you become one of them?

In case you couldn't tell (lol) I'm seriously loving your own irish mythology infused into Tolkien's world

I feel like celtic/irish stuff and Gaelige fit quite well in Tolkien's creation. I dunno why but the Irish language feels at home in Tolkien's world to me, same with Scottish Gaelic

I have such little grasp of my own language it feels like old world/other worldly literary/mythical creation to me. Probably why it meshes so well with Middle Earth in my mind. Like it doesn't seem real to me but maybe that's cuz I'm from the North 🤣 (I will get my ass in gear and learn it better one day but laziness and annoyance win thus far)

Thorin staring off into nothing. Being brought back to reality by the sting of his wound. And then the first thing he does is worry/obsess over the illusion he saw. **weeping**fucking weeping* Your honor I need them to be together 😢 If you ever part 2 this pls tag me girl

P.s. I find it cruel that you aren't a published author. I need to read a whole book by you. Your writing style is sublime. It's just in that exact vein that is just so appealing to me. I'm not great at articulating myself so I'll just say this had me like 'ooh you bastid (affectionate).' YOUR. WRITING. SLAPS. If you ever publish your own book pls alert me cuz I will read it despite the possibility of it inducing cardiac arrest in me. Sorry books make me excited. From your mythology of the siúlóir portaigh and your general writing style I'm getting V.E. Schwab vibes but way way better

Imma shush now. Peace out ✌ God Bless 🕊 and Slán

Putting a read more option because I'm about to lose my mind :)

I want to start by saying that this is one of if not the kindest messages I've ever received, I mean wow. You completely moved me to tears. Watch me drive to the North right now just to give you a hug.

If it's okay I'm going to rant right back at you lol because there's so much things you mentioned that I want to discuss!

The title is actually based on a poem about sirens! I thought it fit the vibe of the fic really well.

Dialogue is something I've always struggled with. I could use a thousand words to describe a tree but I always get nervous when it comes to dialogue. I feel like when I write conversations they're always clunky so to get such positive feedback about that aspect of my writing is so lovely <3

GIRL YOU DID NOT JUST COMPARE MY WRITING TO ABBA! I needed to sit down reading this part. This is the greatest compliment I've ever received–

“If an siúlóir portaigh get you drowned do you become one of them?” when it comes to the siúlorí I haven't really fleshed them out enough (haha get it) to have any solid lore for them. So far all I have is that they roam bogs, marshes and wetlands and use a siren-like approach when hunting their prey. Wether they attack people to sustain themselves, to condemn their victim to the same faith as them or just out of maliciousness I haven't decided. It's completely up to interpretation :)

Bestie, don't get me started on how well the Irish language and Irish culture fits into the world of Tolkien. I could write essays. I think that's why I've always found middle earth so comforting, it's a fractured reflection of my own home.

As someone who's been out of school for a year and is still learning gaeilge, I promise we'll get there someday :)

Prior to my Thorin fic I hadn't written anything since October of last year due to writers block and self doubt. So to not only hear such lovely things about my writing but to also be compared to a published author– You have no idea how much it means to me. Thank you so much! You are every writer's dream.

Slán go foil, mo chara! Agus go raibh míle maith agat <3

[alichiraku]

In today’s news: I love mistranslations. 

[undiscovered-horizon]

Mafia!Billy Russo Headcanons

[TW: mentions of mafia and related topics. This is just a work of fiction but please do remember that the actual mafia is not a romanticized fictional character doing questionable things. Mafias ruin lives and countries, they have no mercy or shame.]

Author's note: told ya this was going to happen. Guy Ritchie's Gentlemen is partially to blame too, I love that movie. This is going to be in parts, I also have a lot to say.

[Part 2]

I feel like mafia!Billy and yandere!Billy make a Venn diagram

So he's rich, violent, possessive and handsome. The Soviet Union hasn't seen so many red flags.

His "field of expertise" would probably be illegal arms and mercenaries. Many rich and/or important people use his "services". He could make bank on supporting terrorists but chooses not to.

When your parents and friends ask what your husband is doing you just pull off a very convincing lie that he runs a private security company. It's not entirely a lie, because he does, but that's just the tip of the iceberg.

He has probably rubbed off of you and, over the years, you have become significantly rougher than before you met him.

You probably own a business too, both as a cover and to have something to do. It took a quite big fight with Billy to make him understand that you're going to lose your mind if your daily schedule is "lay and smell of roses".

I'm thinking like a cafe or a restaurant, often visited by Billy's "business friends" and their wives.

Billy and you are that couple. As in, "he's definitely wanted for multiple crimes in several countries and she looks cute but will stab you"

But it hasn't always been like that.

When the two of you met, you were just a girl, working 9 to 5, going to bars with your friends, binge-watching Game of Thrones and complaining about disastrous dates.

You met Billy on your friends' engagement party: you knew the bride-to-be and he knew the groom-to-be. Fate had it, you sat next to each other at the table. You remember your first impression of him: good-looking and confident, the type which sole existence makes people feel intimidated. And you weren't any different.

At first the conversation was pretty one-sided until you became convinced that he's not as big-headed as he might have appeared

And it turned out that talking to him is absolutely great! Time flew by and suddenly it was late at night and he offered to drive you home

Part of you wanted to invite him inside but there was still some unsureness about him as a person - you have known him for a few hours. And considering your friends were engaged, it was obvious you were going to see him a few more times. It was better to take it easy

So you asked him to have lunch with you and that decision was what started the spiral.

You started to see Billy every few days and his romantic interest in you was painfully obvious: the gifts, the flowers, the expensive restaurants, the wax poetic - you name it.

It was like a teenager's Hollywood dream

(You could pay off a mortgage with one of your earrings)

At some point, you became his plus one to official events and that was the moment you were introduced to the luxurious world of illegally acquired wealth

Billy genuinely loves your confusion at some things that he has grown quite used to

"Just because you can put caviar on an oyster and wash it down with champagne doesn't mean you should."

"How can alcohol be more expensive than a house?"

"I could paint the soles of my shoes red and no one would know the difference."

"I could ask anyone in here how much milk costs and they would have no idea."

"Just out of curiosity, are they ever sober?"

Perhaps that's what made him even more fond of you.

Or maybe it was the way you looked during those events. You may have said, on multiple occasions, that those galas and banquets were just people arguing about who has more houses in Bali or who owns more mountains in Switzerland but you always went with him.

Maybe he should start throwing those galas himself if that meant seeing you more often in a long gown and high heels. To him, you looked expensive but in a noble way, like a daughter of the emperor of the world

Each time he looked at you he felt like he was falling in love all over again

And as you were holding his arm, moving among the masses of absolute elites, he couldn't help but feel smug, especially when he noticed other people staring at you

Billy has, on multiple occasions, used all of his willpower to not start a fight with some guy who tried flirting with you

With time you have become the talk of those parties. Some wanted to be you and others wanted to be with you, all while you appeared elusive and out of their reach

The worst are some auctions he shows up to in order to talk to someone or simply because it would be rude not to go.

If you even suggest you like something, he's going to win it.

"You didn't have to buy it. If I want you to buy me something, I will ask."

"What kind of husband am I if I have to wait for my wife to tell me to spoil her?"

Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming but you know he doesn't have bad intentions. He just doesn't know how to express his love and appreciation

Billy always puts up an intimidating facade for the public, which toes the line of "sexy" and "actually terrifying".

Once, you were listening to him berating some employees and for a moment you wondered what it would be like if he spoke like that to you and the general consensus made you realize you might have a kink

Which you jokingly mention (kind of to see his reaction) but Billy knows you too well and let me tell you: you played yourself. He knows now.

Sometimes it so happens that you go to his company (to drop something off most of the time) and even after being married for a few years, it still feels weird when all of his employees stop what their doing to tell you "good morning" and ask how's your day going. No doubt Billy had something to do with it.

Weirdest part is that they call you "ma'am", which makes you feel a bit old. No matter how many times you tell them to call you "Mrs.Russo" or by your name, it doesn't stick

As the life of a spouse of a mafia boss goes, you have been threatened quite a few times. It was more to scare Billy rather than you, though. At first, it was mortifying (understandably) but with time you grew to just say "bite me" and carry on

Billy has openly admitted it turns him on

The hardest part was, quite obviously, accepting the fact that your then-boyfriend was a violent criminal.

Was it your naively kind heart or the blinding love you felt towards him, you shocked yourself accepting the reality, although you didn't speak to him for a few days.

But he understood that. It pained him to no end but he understood it's something difficult to take in.

He wanted to marry you the moment you called him three days after his dramatic reveal and said that you want him, whatever he brings with him.

I should mention that your friend's fiance (whose guest was Billy) has explicitly told you not to mix up with him because although he is a great person to be around, becoming an important, close, part of his life was dangerous. At the moment you didn't know what that meant and he didn't want to elaborate, so you didn't take that suggestion to heart

Both you and Billy are grateful for that

Absolutely random "wanna go on vacation?"

Your first question is always whether he's done something and needs to flee the country

And he reminds you that it was just one time and you had fun, so you shouldn't complain

Billy and you have come up with elaborate lies and code words to keep the less legal activities a secret in front of your friends and family

Your parents genuinely believe you married an ambitious, ex-marine who has his own, flourishing business and is definitely a man of the law.

Billy is suspicious when you can wash out the blood from his clothes without leaving a trace

"You know, love, there are other ways of getting blood on clothes that do not involve murdering someone."

Noticing how you change into a more dominant, tough person gains some weird, almost sexual, satisfaction from him.

He has a primal need to keep you safe, to protect you but he does so in a more secretive way because you tend to get angry when he gets overbearing. Although he finds your anger attractive, he doesn't want to be the reason you're upset so he just makes sure you don't know he's pulling the strings to protect you.

Billy always has a hand on you, especially in public. Be it on your lower back, on your waist, around your shoulders or have you hold his arm. He's a possessive man and wants his "territory" to be visibly marked.

Also he's an absolute sap for you clinging on to him but he won't admit that openly. He has a face to maintain.

So, in private, he often seeks the comfort of your physical closure, holding you close whenever he can

It could be out of a reasonable fear for your lives. In his line of work, it was easy to become a widow or a widower prematurely. After all he's suffered, he has a wife that loves him and sometimes he feels like he has to hold on to with all of his strength so that you don't leave him

Not that you're planning to

______

@intothesoul

[dearwriters]

Hi! I’m writing about two female characters who “got off on the wrong foot” when introducing themselves to each other, but I can’t figure out any dialogue that will push forward the story/their friendship. Do you have any examples/advice? I feel like I’m losing my mind over one scene. Tysm!!! ❤️

Building a relationship "off the wrong foot"

I don't know if there is specific dialogue I can recommend here. I'm not one for dialogue promts. But what I can say is: this sounds like a job for a concept I learned by the term of braiding roses. It's usually used for romantic relationships but I think it can be applied to any relationship! The concept is basically this:

Developing a relationship between characters comes along with a lot of scratches and bleeding fingers. Essentially: Conflict. Their thorns will scratch each other. But with time and work you can braid the roses, so the petals face inside and the thorns face the outside. Your characters will let each other in and the thorns that were once pointed at the other, will now protect them. They form a bond against the conflicts of the world.

Of course this is quite the poetic way of saying: Human emotions are hard, don’t make it too easy, or nobody will buy it. But I think the picture helps. Just imagine: What are these characters thorns and what are their petals. Their flaws and their good sides. How will these interact with those of the other character, how will this create conflict and how can it be resolved?

Essentially, what I recommend here: Let one of the characters see a good side of the other (even if the other doesn't intend to show it) and react accordingly in a "huh, maybe she's not an asshat afterall" way.

A thinks B is stuck up and rude to others. But then A sees B comfort someone and it turns out B is just very bad at communicating and A can relate to that.

OR

B thinks A is simply annoying and too much. But then B hears A talking about something they are passionate about and B thinks it's actually very sweet and maybe they just communicate differently.

You know what I mean? I hope this was helpfull... Have fun writing!

[allsassnoclass]

hiiii hazel!! top 5 petunia pictures & top 5 youngblood lyrics!!

hiiiiiiiiiii maya thank you for asking i am happy to answer these!!!!!

Petunia pics!!! I love her so much did you know that????? i had more petunia pics saved than lashton pics. this decision was also a lot harder than the lashton pics because she's adorable in every pic she's part of

1. The Hoodie Sequence - petunia in a hoodie is my absolute favorite thing ever

2. The Origin - he loved her so much from the beginning!!!! And look how much she loved him!!! Look at that face!!!

3. she's so cute i'm losing my mind

4. LOOK AT HER!!!!

5. there are so many pictures that could go here i tried to add more but tumblr would only let me do ten images and i already used three for the hoodie sequence

top 5 youngblood lyrics

1. "Flashing back to New York City / Changing flights so you stay with me / Remember thinking that I got this right" and then the later change to "Problem was I thought I had this right" from Lie to Me - okay so as an actor/storyteller I think a lot about how to make things feel more relatable and truthful to others and it's often in the specificity, which feels like it should be the opposite? but Denzel Washington agrees with me lol this is acting advice that he gave to Michael B Jordan once. But basically the more specific that you are with details the more fleshed out and real your story is, which bleeds over into other aspects of it even if those details aren't necessarily relevant (this is why I'm a big fan of actors in plays having to do hot seat interviews and think about little details that might not be present in the script, such as their character's favorite food or childhood memories, because it helps sculpt a fully fleshed-out character and makes the performance feel more real despite the actor obviously acting). anyway i'm going on a tangent but that's what this lyric is to me. it's one of those specific details that makes the song feel more truthful and relatable. i've never been in nyc and changed my exes flight so we could have more time together, but I know the feeling of wanting to spend more time with someone I love and trying to make that happen, and I can relate to thinking that you were doing things right in a relationship (platonic or romantic) only for it to fall apart on you anyway because of things that you either didn't want to see or that they withheld from you. this got so long i'm so sorry but i felt like i had to justify why such a small lyric is my favorite on the album lol

2. "That my feet don't dance like they did with you" from Ghost of You - I LOVE when people switch one line at the end for some impact and that's exactly what they did here and it HITS. also. as a dancer. OUCH

3. "Thinking 'bout you lots lately / have you been eating breakfast alone like me?" from Moving Along - I don't know why I like this one so much but I just do! It strikes a very clear picture in my mind. It's such an easy way to show what the narrator and you-character used to be vs. what they are now. also, similar to the first point! a little detail in the story that makes it feel truer and therefore makes it more relatable, even if you can't relate to the exact scenario of having breakfast dates with someone and now having to eat them alone

4. "The stupid truth is I'm so bad for you" from Monster Among Men - I really love this song! I like that the narrator is the one who is like "I am not good for you we're not doing this again," which I feel isn't necessarily a perspective you always get, I feel like in songs it's usually the person who gets hurt who is narrating. I also like the use of the word stupid here.

5. All of Babylon. I can't pick out a specific line because I think all of it is really well crafted lyrics. They're some of the most poetic lyrics they have, especially with the amount of rhyme and assonance, but it still clearly tells a story and leans into the metaphor of babylon well. there's a reason this is my favorite song!!!

ask me top 5 anything

[retvenkos]

not asking you who you'd ship me with in the grishaverse because at this point everyone on tumblr knows the answer to that probably (though any chance of getting more of your wonderfully divine headcanons about matthias & I is a chance I gleefully take), but since you are shipping everyone I have to tell you that I've been thinking about Mal & you together for a little while. I just see it so clearly??

I think you'd have a relationship quite like Alina and Mal's, except healthier and less dramatic lol. but Mal is the epitome of friends to lovers and to me you embody exactly that. you're not the unbridled fury that enemies to lovers can be nor the bittersweet inevitability of soulmates, but really this idea of familiarity and comfort that you only unlock after spending a lot of time with a person, probably in childhood. Mal would represent exactly that to you: home, family, and love, and you're not really sure how or when you realize that it's not the same love you used to feel at Keramzin, that your feelings have shifted in the most terrifying yet beautiful way, but they have.

so in this scenario if you are Grisha, you get tested and your powers found out and you get sent to the Little Palace and your goodbyes with Mal are probably the most tearful moment Ravka has ever seen. You're holding on to Mal for dear life because he's really your family and you don't want to leave him behind, they're taking you to an unknown place without him, and you're so scared - but Mal tries to hold it all together because he has to be strong for you, and promises he will write to you every day and you will never truly be separated because he'll find you when he's older and strong.

(as soon as the carriage leaves he locks himself in the dormitory and cries all evening on his bed because your absence is so loud in these silent halls)

Inevitably years pass as you continue your training and Mal's letters become more scarce - sometimes you're the one who forgets to reply for a whole month, sometimes it's him - until you're not in touch anymore but you don't forget him, you never do, and you dream of him so often and all the words you wish you could tell him but never got the courage to

Until one day, almost a decade later, he is received at the Grand Palace for a particularly triumphant feat of his (Mal, always the hero) and the King wants to meet the First army soldier everyone is talking about, and you happen to run into him as he's trying to find his way to the audience room (because how stupidly huge are these Os Alta palaces, really?) And you literally can't believe your eyes.

so you'd be getting the childhood friends to lovers reunited after losing contact for many years which is TOP TIER romance

and Mal has changed obviously but not so much, and so have you; and he's taken aback by your beauty in your purple Kefta, and suddenly all the petty and insulting stereotypes about the Second Army he used to joke about with his regiment friends leave his mind because Saints - who needs a Sun Summoner when you're glowing like all the stars in the sky?

you'd quickly fall back into your common habits because they never left you, they're second nature at this point - Mal has basically forged your personality from the youngest age and you have his, and you fit together so perfectly

he'd be assigned to a more permanent post in Os Alta thanks to his prowesses in battle, maybe as the King's personal guard, meaning you'd get to spend so much time together

People would raise eyebrows at the sight of a couple between the two rival armies, but you don't care one bit - your love for Mal runs in your blood much deeper than arbitrary oppositions based on foolish pride.

If you're not Grisha, I don't think you'd join the First Army; war is probably not for you. I think your paths would separate too when he joins the Army and you leave the orphanage with what little money you saved over the years (sneaking out of Keramzin and reciting or singing your poems on the streets for a little bit of coin, or selling the meat and fur Mal would hunt for you) to move to a bigger city and try to do something with your life. You could be an artisan, or another kind of shopkeep! I can see you being manually gifted and creative, so you'd probably have an artsy business in the capital, like pottery or tapestry or painting on porcelain or something of the sort

and once again Mal is called to Os Alta probably for the same reasons - he just can't help distinguishing himself in combat, can he? - and he steps into your shop by total chance, and he's like. Olive???? Since when do you do sculptures???? And you're like. Malyen Oretsev???? Since when are you taller than me????

(Though the sculpture part doesn't surprise him that much, because you were always so creative and gifted in the arts, and he's always admired you so much for it.)

(But the TALL part??? ok, you are short, but you left him when he was like, thirteen and he was Not That Tall. how can your forever friend have grown that tall so fast???)

And so you ALSO get the long-lost childhood friends rekindle and fall back in love trope because my heart goes mushy for it ❤

your dynamic would be on point, because Mal knows you better than anyone and so he can read you like an open book. Either when he needs to find the teasing comment that will get you all riled up, or when he senses your discomfort or sadness and has to find the words to cheer you up.

You'd just make so many sweet memories with Mal, and he'd be down for every single thing you want to do as long as he gets to spend time with you. Want to be rambunctious on the streets of Os Alta and pull pranks on passerbys like you are 8 again? Yep, can totally do that. Feel like breathing in the fresh air of the wilderness and getting out of town to see a beautiful sunset, like you would in Keramzin? Of course! Just want to chill together doing your own thing and relishing in each other's presence? Absolutely.

he loves when you read to him, whether that be a book you own or a story straight from your imagination that you just wrote, and he's absolutely mesmerized by your voice and how much emotion you put in it. (though he can't help himself from making little jokes every now and then or trying to guess what will happen next in the story because he's what my mom calls a Culo Inquieto™)

you'd generally be such a cute couple who never lost that mischievous but oh so comforting and familiar spark from when you were kids, and is willing to stay with the other through thick and thin. you've found your other half in each other and I'm so soft for that. 💜💜

sorry I rambled but I just think that idea is so cute and you deserve a ship! (also, don't even get me started on the Chaos BFF Duo you would make with Jesper...) my head is killing me so I won't write any more but just know I hold this ship in extremely high regard. <3

clara, i will have you know i waited until i got ice cream in order to read this, because i knew it would be an experience™ and now, i,,, 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i'm so goddamn soft, how dare you make me yearn????

you mean to tell me you came up with all of this... for me? you think of ships for me??? how—how dare? how dare you be such a good friend, to the point where i am baffled by your kindness??? how dare you be this thoughtful and poetic,,,,,,, and just, big brained, ma'am.

because all of this is so perfect!!!! ohmygod i'm soft. i'm in love. everytime you write a ship or fanfic, i sincerely wish i was a romantic like you so i could have a proclivity toward fathoming such soft romantic scenes,,,,, you, clara, know how to do a ship™.

(also, i have to say i love the childhood friends torn apart, only to come back together,,,, it has laughter lines by bastille energy,,,, listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have the same vibes that that very specific and heartwarming trope,,,)

but, since you gave me such a beautiful gift, and since i would do anything for you, here are some more headcanons for you and matthias:

first of all, i think that you and matthias would spend a lot of time finding the beauty in small things. i think that it would be good for him, since he’s reevaluating who he is and his place in this grand world, and i think since you’re a romantic, small things would be important to you both.

— for example, you guys definitely star gaze together. it’s hard, since you are in ketterdam and the smoke is impossible to see through, but maybe you guys leave ketterdam for a while, and you spend a lot of time looking up at the stars. matthias loves to learn about everything you know, and repositioning himself underneath the sky is a good start to figuring out who he is. 

— you also like to sit by the water and talk. there’s something about the water that pulls memories from you both. matthias talks about what it was like, far away, in his little village before the drüskelle. (i get the feeling his dad was a fisherman or something,,,, the vibes are there), and you get to talk about people you once knew, dreams you once had. point is, you do a lot of talking - swapping stories and hopes.

— oh! another idea i can’t get out if my head is that matthias asks you so many questions. i feel like it’s a sign of real love and trust, when matthias starts asking you questions, because you have to be like,,, level 50 in order for matthias to admit weaknesses, and one of his biggest is that there’s so much he just doesn’t know. i think you also get really good at just,,,, telling him stuff so that he doesn’t have to ask, and he really just appreciates it.

i also just love the idea of matthias giving you to strongest hugs, or tbh, just holding you, and it’s all because he’s the big, strong one™! you know he’s got a protector complex, so that kind of feeds into his hugs,,, just that intense need to protect you, but also, he’s deathly terrified of losing another person he cares about, so he clings. (but only when you’re alone. the drüskelle in him is too Proud, but if you hang onto him in public,,,, he’s not complaining, just getting used to it)

okay, but i got a little bit ahead of myself, because i didn’t even talk about when you guys first meet, and the whole dynamic that is that™

— so, clearly, you are bffs with nina, whether your a grisha or not, and since i want fluff oNLY we’re just going to pretend like helnik didn’t happen,,,,,, they’re just friends. anyway, she’s the first one to pick up on your feelings for matthias because a) heartrender, and b) you two are the best of friends, and she just knows.

— and so you know a lot of teasing ensues, and almost everyone gets in on it and constantly makes jokes about you and matthias,,,, sometimes while he’s right. there. you’re Mortified But Coping™ and you can’t imagine what is going on through matthias’ head, because there’s no way he can feel the same, right?

— wRONG, we’re all idiots when we’re in love, and no one is more of an idiot than matthias. he is definitely ~soft~ for you but refuses to let it show because (1) the dregs are crass and he doesn’t want to give them fodder, and (2) you seem very uncomfortable about this whole thing, and he doesn’t want to make it worse

after some time, the teasing dies down, because both of you are too boring to tease. it would be funny if one of you freaked out, but you’re just,,,, suffering in silence. boring. and besides, inej and kaz are way more funny to tease. have you seen the murder in both of their eyes whenever you mention anything??? scary, but golden.

for the most part, the jokes die off, and i think after the jokes stop, you and matthias become much more comfortable with one another, and it leads to so! many! good! moments! 

— did i ever tell you matthias is in love with your stupid humor? your enchanting laughter? you’re so infectiously light and it makes him feel like he’s walking on clouds or something,,,,, he’s enchanted by you, but doesn’t have the words to explain it. 

— you know he remembers all of the little things his dad used to say about his mom,,,, and he feels all of that awed respect and soft warmth for you, but what to do with it???? he can’t really remember what his parents would do - it’s been so long and cold without them, but he tries to remember, and it’s the little things he does. he’ll tell you something really sweet in fjerdan and you’re just like ??? but it doesn’t translate super well, so you’re just left with the way he said it, and it means the world (plus, if you really get the courage, you can ask nina to explain it,,,, fair warning though, she scoffs at it every time. because it’s fjerda, alright?)

— you definitely end up reading him some poetry. it’s all under the guise of him ‘learning about the beauty in other cultures’ but really, it’s just an excuse to read him romantic shu poetry (they really know how to do it, let me tell you). and you also end up telling him stories about your childhood and your life, and he finds your rambling so adorable. especially since he has seen your work on paper! he finds it so sweet that your mind is so full of life that it wants to go everywhere at once, and experience every possible detail.

— you definitely end up showing matthias his way around ketterdam, and he keeps all of your hastily drawn maps, and whenever he goes past a street corner, he remembers the way your eyes sparkled in the light of the streetlamps.

i definitely have the feeling that you confess your feelings first. matthias has been trying to get the courage to do it, but he just can’t, and one day you tell him late at night - when, for just a moment, the world is still and quiet, and you can’t hold in all that warmth in your chest. you’re a little shy about it, but so is he, and when he hears you confess, all he can do is smile, because you have all of the confidence and strength he wishes he had. and all that courage laced in his chest, he’s learned it from you.

that’s ll i got for now, but i believe in clara x matthais supremacy.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Do you have a fav scene between Henrik & John?

That's a really good question. I don't know if I could pick a favourite - all their interactions are brilliant.

First thing that came to my mind when I saw this ask - so make of that what you will - was the scene between them in John's lab in Report to the Mirror part 2. "It's time people saw you again, John. The real you. Us." I don't know what it is about that scene. Maybe the fact that it's Henrik in his evil era. Maybe it's the way Guy delivers the line, or the way Henrik looks at John in that scene.

Obviously the "I won't let you go" scene is iconic. And for good reason - it's so utterly romantic in every possible way. And the moment at the very start of the scene when John drags Henrik into his dorm room and they're both just so utterly overcome with emotion, Henrik apologising on a loop and John in distress and shock over the whole thing and the thought of losing Henrik... just... gah. It's a beautiful scene, it really is. Also, again, just... the way they look at one another. The look on Henrik's face when he puts his hand on John's shoulder and promises not to leave him, especially. <3

There's an underrated but lovely little moment in Primum Non Nocere part 2 when Henrik walks into John's lab to talk to him, and he's standing in the doorway, and John walks up to him and it's framed so it looks as though John's looking in a mirror and seeing Henrik... POETIC CINEMA.

Speaking of poetic cinema, their whole scene at the start of No Matter Where You Go, There You Are part 2 when they're flirting in John's lab and then they're walking through the basement together and John is practically bowing in front of Henrik like a loyal knight. I adore that scene. https://lonelier-version-of-you.tumblr.com/post/678634440605548544/john-and-henrik-in-s20e13

Basically every scene they have in Stains is brilliant and perfect and so romantic and I'm not even going to bother listing them all (although special mention to John's love letter - "but it was you, my friend, who provided the greatest gift of all: purpose." <3).

Going back to Report to the Mirror, I adore this conversation in part 1:

John: But you... your visit to Lisbon, the chance to show you Lana... realigned something in me. The guilt that had been consuming me lifted.

Henrik: And turned into something else?

John: Yeah.

Henrik: Something... positive?

John: *nods* But it was because it came from you.

Henrik: Well... I'm very glad. *adorable little smile*

And when Henrik's talking about John operating on Roxanna alone and he says: "I can't imagine what that felt like. Emotionally, I left you to face that. I won't do it again." And just gives him the loveliest little look. Just. GAAAAAH THE LOVE OF IT ALL.

Also, it's just, like, the fact that by the end of the two-parter Henrik's broken his promise; John asks Henrik to drown with him, and Henrik refuses. He leaves John to face death alone. And if that won't break your heart I don't know what does. 😭😭

And then, of course, the beautiful, beautiful scene in part 2 where they talk about the night John saved Henrik's life. If not my favourite Johnrik scene, it must be at the very least in the top 3, because it's just... perfect.

John: I know how you suffer. Every day, like the rest of us, you report to the mirror. But when you come into work, you come into a place where so much tragedy has befallen you. And yet you're still able to carry on. For this vision. So that we can do this together. If we don't have this, then... how do you do it, Henrik?

Henrik: It was you who pulled me from the water, John. I've never forgotten that.

John: I very nearly joined you. I swam out to where you were, saw you disappear under the surface, and I thought about joining you.

Henrik: What stopped you?

John: *shakes his head* I don't know... *looks at a text on Essie's phone from Meena about "taking down Gaskell"* *laughs sadly, shakes his head again, looks back at Henrik* ...I don't know.