#but when a WOMAN stereotypes a guy its bad??

[fr4ncium]

Me to those annoying ass Tiktok ppl getting upset over a villain being a LITERAL villain

[mothslimes]

said it before i say it again. maybe it's less internalized misogyny and more "girls who look and act like this literally bullied me from kindergarten to 12th grade and beyond" so no i would rather not talk to girls who treat female beauty standards as the holy law

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for purposely ruining a woman's hair?

I (19f) am a licensed hairdresser fulltime. A bit of backstory My best friend (same age) got married this year to a man who is older than 28 but younger then 35. I tried to discourage her and explained that the age gap is fucked considering the guy is the same age as my mom (like if my mom dated someone my age it would be fucked and my friend said that but its fine because "we grew up with him" and i said that made it worse).

He actually was my neighbor for most of my life. He wasn't a bad person, always seemed good, but obviously I dont think highly of him now. We all went to similar events like festivals and saw each other, but we never hung out. He saw me and my best friend a lot together and when we became 17 he started talking to her. It was a whole "meetcute" story according to my friend. Neighbor who she saw and thought was cute for years happened to invite her over in the pouring rain because I got delayed and didn't meet her at my house in time and her parents had already dropped her off.

They started dating the day she turned 18 and got married soon after she was 19.

Mary, the mother of my neighbor and now my best friends MIL (turning 50f) has been vocal about not liking me for literally my whole life. I've been called trouble, a nuisance, trash, etc. Made slutshaming comments because I got a belly button ring, called me a exotic dancer to my face because I was dancing and shaking my hips and butt, and then a whore when I wore a tank top and shorts...just The stereotypical "Christian" white woman.

Mary is talking constantly to my friend, her son adding in, that I'm a bad influence and now my friend is pulling away.

Well long story short (too late i know sorry want to give background info but it turned out to be like a lot) Mary came into the shop. She asked for a cut and color and I was the only one available. She visibly sneered but agreed and made snide comments the entire time I tried to figure out what she wanted. She wanted red. A natural red. And I was going to do it, but then she said I needed to make sure I washed my hands so I didn't get her dirty and then when I glared at her and asked what she meant by dirty because my hands were clean she laughed and said "oh I didn't mean no offense sweetie".

So I went and brought out the book that has hair color samples and stsrt showing her reds. I asked her if she wanted E3 or 5A for example, those aren't at all but you get the idea. She said she wanted red, so I went "oh like 4A" which was FIRE HYDRANT red. I knew she wanted naturalish and NOT that but she verbalized yes yes that 4A.

So I did. It came out bright red and she started yelling and screaming. My coworkers heard her say which one she wanted and we pulled the book out and showed her thats what she had verbalized, so I'm off the hook.

But now im like...that was a bit mean? I mean she can redye it, and my work gave her a discount. I didnt chop her hair off or do anything out of what she asked, but I know damn well she didn't want that. My friend texted me really upset accusing me and I played dumb. She's already pulling away from me and now I feel its going to be worse because of this...aita?

What are these acronyms?

[ladyloveandjustice]

Speaking of the Sailor Moon manga, I've been thinking about the thing with Haruka and Usagi in the manga, and I think it makes more sense to me when I remember that Naoko has said Haruka is her "ideal woman" and she's also stated that Mamoru is her "ideal man" and definitely means it in a romantic sense.

Usagi is the character the reader is supposed to project on (and who Naoko has indicate she projects herself onto), and I think the whole thing suddenly makes a sort of sense when you look at it through the lens of something we often see, which is experiencing a queer fantasy but in a "safe" way where all "fault" is removed from you for that fantasy (like in Dracula, etc). Naoko wanted to explore kissing and being attracted to what she considered the "ideal woman", either for her readers or herself (or both), but OBVIOUSLY Usagi can't cheat on her boyfriend, that would be bad! So hey, Usagi is clearly attracted to Haruka, but she doesn't actually know she's a girl at first soooo! And also the cool lesbian kisses Usagi out of nowhere, so hey, Usagi didn't do anything wrong, it wasn't consensual or anything! And sure, she thinks about the kiss afterwards and even dreams about it and dreams about Haruka in both "feminine form" AND "masculine" form but it's okay, that's also not cheating, it just kind of happened. She gets Haruka telling her that gender doesn't matter and leaning towards her seductively and she gets to swoon a little and maybe actually considers receiving a kiss, but she gets interrupted. And now she can go back to Mamoru no harm, no foul, she (and the readers) got to live the fantasy but she didn't cheat on her guy or do anything wrong, it's cool.

This obviously doesn't make it good writing, as it makes Haruka come off like a horrible person and completely disregards Michiru and plays into some stereotypes, but I do kind of understand why it was this way when I think of it through that lens.

I don't think Naoko was thinking of what it said about Haruka and Michiru at all. I think Naoko put exploring that fantasy (while absolving Usag and (thus the reader) of all responsibility) above all. And is that progressive or good? No, but I can sympathize with wanting to live out that fantasy. Maybe Naoko didn't want to face her own feelings and fantasies, or she understood her readers wouldn't want to, so they get to live out their fantasy this way.

Notably, she's also a fan of Takarazuka and based Haruka off that, which is very commonly how female fans experiencing the thrill of being attracted to a woman but hey she's playing a "male role" so does it really count? They get to experience that attraction is a "safe" way and then go home, put that attraction in its box, and resume their lives without having to face and unpack those kind of feelings they don't want to deal with. It's just a fantasy, it doesn't "count", but you can always go back to swooning over the hot girl. because she's sticking around and continuing to be hot and protective of and devoted to you.

It's a very 90s approach, but I kind of get it.

[sebastianthemadlad]

Why I don't like the trans woman Vil headcanon

You probably saw my repost of another person talking about this but I wanted to rant about it by myself so here we go.

Before you start calling me transphobic, I'm not angry BECAUSE he's being headcanoned as trans (I actually headcanon him as trans myself, but as a trans man) and at the end of the day he's just a fictional character and it doesn't really matter so do whatever the hell you want.

That being said, a huge part of Vil's characters is not liking gender roles/stereotypes

This scene with him and Epel speaks for itself:

Why is this a problem? Well the main reason I'm seeing a lot of people headcanon him as a trans woman is because he is feminine-

My reaction:

Ah yes because feminine men totally cannot exist! They HAVE to be a trans woman! Same with tomboys they have to be trans men! Oh my god-

I want to clarify I'm not blaming trans people for this, in fact I've seen mainly trans people in the twst wonderland fandom call this out and mainly non trans people headcanon Vil as a trans woman.

To be fair, a lot of trans people started out as masculine "women" or feminine "men" before they realised they were trans, but that doesn't mean ALL feminine and masculine men and women are trans (or at least not transitioning to be the opposite gender I have met plenty of masculine trans women and feminine trans men)

Like the post I reposted said, if Vil truly WERE a trans woman, s/he'd probably be a tomboy, because a huge part of Vil's character IS 👏🏻BREAKING 👏🏻GENDER 👏🏻ROLES!

A lot of the trans male friends I have who also like Twisted Wonderland look up to Vil, because they want to break male gender roles and pass enough to be seen as a feminine guy and not a woman (what I mean by that is when trans men are feminine and like wearing dresses and stuff they are often a bit too afraid to do it due to social dysphoria and being misgendered so they usually wait until they begin passing more to wear/do more feminine things, its sad)

So when said trans male friends see the other twisted wonderland say Vil HAS TO BE A WOMAN just because he's feminine it makes them upset, they think they aren't "trans enough" and that to be a "true man" they must conform to male gender roles so they can be "trans enough"

The same goes with female characters who are masculine, trans women who are tomboys could be happy that a woman in media they watch is more masculine like them, but when people start headcanoning said woman as a trans man, it could make the trans women upset

I'm not saying headcanoning certain characters as trans is a bad thing, do whatever the hell you want, I'm not the type to get angry over fictional fun, I scoff at people wishing death upon proshippers because yeah its gross but at the end of the day its just fiction and the person behind it are often just a weird pre teen, I barely even make "call out posts" about these types of fandom stuff but subjects like being transgender often hit home for me because I have many trans friends and a few trans relatives whom I worry about because I know dysphoria can often make people think unhealthy and suicidal thoughts, so I'm just concerned about the harm certain headcanons could cause

[straightbaittournament]

may the best bait win! propaganda under the cut:

tatiana and curt:

They have a whole song where it seems that they're going to get together just because he's a girl and she's a guy, but in the end Curt comes out to her and she's supportive (which is AMAZING because it's the 1960's) Doing This. That is all.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MT-EpN911GA

There’s an entire song (Doing This) which is about the two of them feeling like they need to be in a relationship due to societal pressures. But neither of them really want to and, after they kiss, decide that they’re much better as friends. Not to mention that Curt’s canonical gay as well.

their first few interactions are them flirting with each other, and they have an entire song about how they feel like they should kiss because heteronormativity. but curt is gay, and this is revealed after they kiss, and tatiana isnt CANONICALLY gay but pretty much the entire fandom interprets her that way and the creators have reposted fanart of her with the lesbian flag. spies are forever breaks so many action/spy film stereotypes and the biggest one is curt & tatiana. curt is the suave, james bond type "womaniser" protagonist and tatiana is the cool femme fatale who is lowkey kinda mean to him. in anything ever, they would get together because obviously a man and a woman cannot work together without making out!!!! they even flirt a little to start with, and their duet "doing this" is just poking fun at heteronormativity. and curt is gay, canonically, it is a MAJOR plot point. they flirt at first, then they feel like they should kiss, then they kiss, its bad, curt is gay (NOT CANON but tatiana is also maybe gay) and they just end up best friends. also the "you dont need to hide behind a beard to make you look cool" line goes so hard. their friendship is so beautiful and nice and they just care about each other alot but in a way that is so very platonic

They literally start making out and stop when Curt reveals he's gay. They sing a whole song about it. It's dope.

mako, korra, and asami:

it's that one meme where the guy ignores his girlfriend to check out another girl, only the two girls get to know each other and get together. S1/2 has love triangle drama between who Mako will be with (Korra or Asami). S3 no one is together but Korra and Asami become really close friends. S4 Korra and Asami are together. Mako is single. Like the only example of exes being good friends and Not getting back together, as well as giving the middle finger to heteronormative assumptions when after the love triangle is over, the two girls get together

[bbgliker-teehee]

i genuinely hate how the only plus size/ fat rep in both shows is given to either BG characters viv wasn't involved in or just the "evil guys". you cannot tell me that woman has any respect for plus sized people at all.. she enforces harmful stereotypes and outright refuses to add ANY diversity to her characters (the "i'm afraid to draw muscles" bs for example)

• literally how can you make the embodiment of gluttony not at least a little bit chubby?? she literally can summon all types of foods & drinks?? thats her entire thing?? she is built like a kardashian.. how. if you're gonna depict the main two fat ppl in your shows as food addicted a-holes why not stay consistent (impossible for her)

•both main fat characters (adam, mammon) are always seen eating unhealthy stuff in masses. a very harmful stereotype. and also adding to the stigma plus sized ppl face on a daily basis.

•not to mention the constant fat "jokes" directed at moxxie, which are a) unnecessary and b) blatantly wrong?? moxxie isn't even fat?? and even then its always implied fat people are fat because they can't stop eating or only eat junk food, like blitz telling moxxie to eat a salad. or loona.

• husk. that man literally consumes alcohol like it's water and he doesn't have an alcohol belly??? hello??? thats...not avoidable when you're an alcoholic... SAME FOR VEROSIKA.

•the mammon & fizz bs. a fat character telling an already skinny person they're "chungo?" and he should lose weight cause people find it sexy af? and its outright implied its bad behavior? she's just immensly hypocritical with this. loona & blitz said similar things towards moxxie but there it's funny & acceptable? f off.

•mimzy is the only fat character that she designed that is close to the HH main cast and she's also portrayed as a shitty person. every fat character is a shitty person and called out for it.(adam with charlie, mammon with fizz, and mimzie with alastor) everyone else literally looks the same and is equally shitty as a person but is never called out because its her blorbos.

but we're talking about the woman who turned st. peter into a blue eyes, blone haired anime twink and refuses to draw BIPOC- or any diversity for that matter....

Adam and Mammon are so similar that Vivianne might as well make them the same character...

And Mimzy my love....they did you dirty

[wasted-women]

ROUND 1C, MATCH 3 OUT OF 8!

Causes of Death & Propaganda Under the Cut:

Tara Maclay

Cause of Death: Shot in crossfire

Propaganda:

Ok so idk if she actually counts but I'm submitting her and please throw her out if not. Here's why I think Tara was fridged: the sole purpose of her death was to further the plot and cause pain to other characters. Now, because it's Buffy, these other characters were women. So her death was only to cause pain to her girlfriend (ex-girlfriend? They were broken up but mending) Willow, cause her to relapse into magic, and then make her essentially the big bad of the season. All of this was then to cause Buffy, the protag, to have to fight her best friend and be told she needed to either stop her or kill her. So while Buffy and Willow are both women, Tara's death was solely to cause them pain as significant other and protagonist and to further the plot. (It's also bury your guys and Joss Whedon sooooo). Tara literally was killed sloppily for no other reason than as a plot device in a desperate "well we already killed our protag and brought her back to life, how do we raise the stakes from here" ploy necessitated by crappy writing. If she doesn't count, again please throw her out, but I feel like she counts as fridging esp when looking at how Joss Whedon rights Buffy in this season to essentially bc a self insert of man pain but as a woman.

this is the only lgbt example I can think of but it definitely counts imo. link to death scene here (scene starts a minute into the video, with obvious trigger warnings for death and blood and gunshots): https://youtu.be/01NxsKojYyM?si=dxZvcvOhp3x6S8ha

Stuffing a woman in the fridge is one thing, but stuffing a queer woman who was one half of a beloved same-sex couple on a TV show famous for its strong female characters for the sake of drama while enforcing negative LGBT+ stereotypes in the process is really something else.

Her girlfriend, Willow essentially plays the role of the man in the relationship. Tara dies to facilitate her villain arc. Xander is also sad about her death and he is a man.

Mako Mori

Cause of Death: Exploded in a helicopter

Propaganda:

The Mako Mori test has been proposed as a "better" version of the Bechdel Test (which I'm well aware of the bechdel tests point and common misuse) she has a full, rich arc that is not romance oriented in the first movie. Also she pilots a giant robot. In the second movie she's textbook definition fridged.

Daenerys Targareon

Cause of Death: Stabbed by her lover for becoming a tyrant

Propaganda:

I'm just. I can't believe she hasn't been submitted yet. Classic example of end game fridging, where she *had* to be killed by her male lover to bring him pain and Man Tears TM. Clearly it effects him (sad) more than her (dead). Now obv Dany had a whole plot prior to this, but her death itself is such a classic example of fridging that I have to submit her, it legit only happened for a stupid "plot" to bring Jon ManPain. It was a death so stupid that GOT, what once was a cultural touchstone, isn't talked about except in how bad the end was

[kdinjenzen]

Now I'm curious WRT how 'Barbie' didn't hit for you.

I’ll say this first. If you liked the movie, I’m happy for you and I’m not here to tell you to hate the movie. I’m glad you enjoyed it and hope you continue to enjoy it.

That said… this movie was NOT for me and I did not enjoy its story at all. I loved the set design, costume design, the performances, the music, the dedication to creating the world, all that stuff was great.

The plot itself. It felt circular without actually purposefully dealing with the issues it tried to talk about.

The fact that Doctor Barbie, who is trans, is the one who is told to “go seduce Ken by telling him you feel don’t feel pretty” - as if this isn’t something that leads to violence toward trans women in the real world and also why her to be the one who doesn’t feel pretty? Wtf?

The Kens of Barbieland are basically all losers, are grossly incompetent compared to Barbie, treated poorly, and our main Ken (aka Beach Ken) has severe self worth issues… so naturally all the Kens become the villains and are able to overthrow all of Barbieland later on in the movie by doing …. they never explain how. Somehow a world full of, and built by, the most capable women ever are overthrown by like 20 dudes who they treated poorly and who aren’t very smart. Beach Ken’s root problems are only barely resolved and none of it feels meaningful.

Gloria and Sasha, the human characters who work with Barbie to fix Barbieland, are just as much caricatures and tropes as Barbie herself. Sasha, the daughter, is a mean Gen Z who just openly lashes out at Barbie (a stranger), and everyone else who is actually nice to her, for no reason. Gloria is “a sad mom who pretends to be happy” but they never explain why at all, it’s assumed that it’s because “she lives in a patriarchy”, but the only person who’s directly mean to her in the film is… her daughter.

Gloria gives a speech to each Barbie, individually, to snap them out of the Ken’s brainwashing (which like AGAIN how did that happen? It makes no sense at all and just confuses me) - the speeches are not empowering at all, they’re just about how women in the real world suffer a double standard on how to exist and SOMEHOW with all those depressing revelations thrown at them it… restores their self-confidence/self-worth and undoes the brainwashing?

Weird Barbie, whom everyone says is ugly and gross and they have violent “EW!!!” reactions to her face, is played by Kate FUCKING McKinnon. Meanwhile Stereotypical Barbie, while having an ugly cry breakdown about (again) not being pretty anymore, is played by Margot FUCKING Robbie. A fact that the movie points out as “the wrong casting choice to have this scene and cast Margot Robbie as Barbie saying she’s ugly.”

I heard so much about how it was a “queer positive movie” but there’s nothing queer about nor really in the movie. So it got to cling to the rainbow and scream “allyship” and everyone praised it for essentially doing nothing.

Everyone is like… mean? Everything feels so mean and mean spirited. It’s supposed to be very tongue in cheek, very snappy and quick, and everyone has a comeback for every situation but… it just really feels like everyone is just being mean for the sake of being mean and it makes moments where you’re supposed to feel sympathy for any character just drop immediately when they say the rudest shit ever for literally no reason.

They talk about Midge, aka the pregnant woman in the Barbie line, and then say “no don’t look at her anymore, she’s weird and creepy” … which AGAIN feels like that statement undercuts the point of women empowerment that the movie wants you to take away from watching the film?

It tries to balance jokes and seriousness in a way that undercuts the message of “society is kind fucked up and broken” that they’re trying to talk about. The “good guys” are also constantly mistreating other people, the “Barbieland bad guys” became bad by going to the real world and leaning “patriarchy”, the “Real world bad guys” literally do nothing except take up movie time for random gags and really don’t service the plot at all, and as much as it’s like “TAKE THAT MAJOR CORPORATION” at every turn… the movie was fully approved by Warner Bros Discovery AND Mattel… so it’s never actually going to say anything worthwhile about corporate greed and corruption without putting on kiddie gloves to do so.

The only person who I felt true sympathy for, understood their reasoning, and felt they deserved a happy ending was ALLAN, aka Ken’s Best Friend, who is treated equally like shit by basically everyone in the film. Allan points out that Barbieland and the Real World both kinda suck, how life is only just slightly more miserable there after the Ken’s took over, and how he just “wants to run away” and when given the chance does so, only to defend Sasha and Gloria from a bunch of Ken’s single handedly and telling them to “get out while they can”… and then is subsequently brought back to Barbieland by Sasha and Gloria to fix everything and… AGAIN none of this pays off because Allan’s purpose is dropped immediately when they get back to Barbieland. And Allan is played by MICHEAL CERA. I feel like I’m losing my mind at this point.

It feels like the movie wants to talk about the issues women face in all walks of life, but is never able to punch hard enough to make that message matter nor stick. It talks around gender issues, self worth issues, and problems in society without actually saying something real about them. The meanness of all the dialogue makes me really not care about pretty much anyone in the movie because… man I’m just so fucking tired of everything and everyone having to be “mean” in movies to prove a point.

The movie ends with a gynecologist appointment.

I dunno what to tell you. The plot is “not for me” and I didn’t really connect with anything.

The movie just made me sad and disconnected because of how much everyone praised it, saying it “made me proud to be a woman” or “it’s inventive, immaculately crafted and surprising mainstream films in recent memory - a testament to what can be achieved within even the deepest bowels of capitalism.”

And it didn’t feel like that for me at all.

Maybe it’s because of all the “that’s womanhood” talk throughout the movie. Because I’ve had so many women in power give me that speech after I came out as trans only to be abused directly by them in the same way that they said men abused them all while I was still ALSO being abused by the same men who abused them too. So like YIPPEE this fucking SUCKS and it was kinda trauma triggering!!

Maybe it’s because I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for 17+ years and know how stuff like this gets made and how many corporate approvals you need for it to make the “take THAT major corporations and CEOs!” jokes land like a dead fish on the floor. The people they are directly calling out said “yes, this level of joke at the expense of our richness and power is okay” and that’s the ONLY reason any of those moments are in the movie. So it doesn’t even really fucking matter, it’s all manufactured, it’s all there to make you feel like it’s doing something when the people with all the power just allowed it to happen. It’s not a “win” or a “heavy blow to their ego”, they literally don’t care.

So I DUNNO, this movie kinda just made me feel depressed and made me remember how badly I had been treated by people after coming out regardless of that person’s gender. The movie felt mean in a way that was too “on the nose” and real for me but then praised most of the characters for their mean actions or words.

[bunnyshideawayy]

i made a tiktok about this but i just want to expand on my point here so in this essay i will….

the HotD and F&B have different canons and while this is true it is made abundantly clear which side is more right than wrong in the situation. Rhaenyra is the rightful heir in both and therefore has more justification/right to defend her position from a usurper. both book canon and show canon state, imply, and reaffirm multiple times Rhaenyra is who Visarys names as heir. by law and tradition she is next to sit the Iron Throne.

now that this is settled i want to explain my love/hate relationship with Alicent specifically. i’ll start with this, i prefer book Alicent over her show counterpart any day. yes, she was a stereotypical “evil step mother” and she OWNED IT!! she activity participated in the plot to take the throne, maybe had a hand in poisoning Visarys, beefed with a child, and more! she was the Cersei before Cersei! yes, she was still a victim and played as a pawn by Otto but she does not sit lukewarm on these issues. she is fully ready to commit war crimes to bring Rhaenyra down, including telling Jaehaera to sit Aegon III throat. meanwhile, in an attempt to sympathize her character more they change crucial aspects in the show. she is aged down, made Rhaenyra’s friend in place of Laena, and stripped away any agency she might’ve had left. honestly it’s frustrating- book Alicent wanted power, too, yes to secure her children and please her father, but also because she wanted power. mother of the king is a queen, still.

the show frames her character as if she is a plaything for men (Visarys, Otto, Aegon II) and cannot help but do what’s best for “the good of the realm”. it’s what she’s been conditioned to do, and as of the first season she does not firmly place herself anywhere. she doesn’t fully support the war and usurpation nor does she fully support Rhaenyra. the only “justifiable” stance she takes is toward the end when she believes Visarys is talking about HER Aegon on his deathbed, even though the show had shown us she would’ve never supported Rhaenyra as queen regardless, she needed a reason to believe so guilt free.

im tired of the feminist vs patriarchal presenting of this story, as if its woman vs woman, when in reality Rhaenyra was robbed of her birth right for power (and possibly a religious agenda if you believe the Maester conspiracy). the story is about a family fighting for power and destiny. even the book, which is from an arguably pro green writer in universe, does not shy away from or neglect the bad parts of both parties involved especially for the greens as they ARE the bad guys in the story. it doesn’t matter how sympathetic you make the characters, how much you change them, age them, have them believe xyz, etc, if the story ends with the greens usurping the throne leading to a dragon civil war then the greens will always be in the wrong.

[diedinflorida]

internalized transandrophobia warning

i wasn't able to unpack or even begin to understand why i couldn't seem to respect or understand other trans men/mascs until i started reading and learning about transdrophobia/transmisandry.

we have it better, i'd say, because that was what i was supposed to say, it was "correct". and i'd wonder why i didn't take other trans men or myself seriously. trans women were always easier to relate to, i rarely if ever had issues with misgendering my transfem friends wrong, i'd be able to hear the pain they went through and empathize and understand. i had way more issues with other trans men. maybe i didn't say it out loud, but when i or other transmascs faced bigotry or hardship, i'd think "it's not as bad as what a trans woman would face". i internalized that so badly i didn't think that trans men as a group had problems. among many other things, the medical barriers and sexual harrassment "weren't bad" because i and others like me were (trans) men. what was my problem, i wondered, why did i keep accidentally misgendering other trans guys? why couldn't i reach the same level of respect and understanding i had for trans women? why did i not take my or their issues seriously?

then i found out about transandrophobia. i saw a post mocking gender koolaid's bio and wondered what transandrophobia was. i wondered why all the reblogs and replies to that post were so hostile about trans men. i looked up "transandrophobia". the first post i saw was from a transmasc of color talking about how they'd never had a word for their oppression before, how they'd never felt a they had community like this before. i thought "that makes sense, why were people being so combative about transandrophobia?"

so i read more. i went to gender koolaid's blog and read their what is transandrophobia page and thought, "i've been through this. i can see how i was wrong about that. that sounds right. i haven't thought about it this way before, etc." and i wondered again, why were people being so awful about the word?

so i dug further. and the further i got, the more i saw of myself in the people raging against the term. the more i saw the stereotypes, the hatred, the things i'd been made to believe about myself and other trans men that had held me back from truly respecting myself or those like me, the more i realized that we truly HATE ourselves. i worked out of a knot of self hatred through accepting the word transandrophobia for what it is to me and others: unapologetically accepting that our identities and issues are not lesser, that we face unique issues, that we do not have it "better" by virtue of our suffering being silent.

i'm still working on my problems but i have way less issues with mine and others' transmasc identities. unlike the way folks act online, respecting myself and other trans men did not come at the cost of respecting trans women. if you want to fully unpack your transphobia, you have to work on all of its facets. including transandrophobia/transmisandry/whatever you want to call it.

[yamameta-inc]

okay so. i've always thought it was obvious that yoshiwara in flames arc's main relevance to gintama's overall narrative is as the prelude to rakuyou. like it's not thematically very interesting on its own, right? but it exists mainly for kagura and kamui's sake, establishing the sort of parallelism that gintama lives off of. it isn't really that connected to the red spider arc even though at first it might seem to be.

but i had no idea about the meaning of the name "rakuyou" until i saw @suchira 's post about it earlier today. and before that i also hadn't thought about utsuro's connection to the sun, which they've also talked about.

given everything that happens in rakuyou, this has expanded my thoughts quite a bit! i'm going be thinking through this as i go, so this is going to be me rambling.

housen is one of the few big arc villains who don't feel related to gintoki. jirocho, jiraia, oboro, takasugi--these kinds are obviously meant to be foils to gintoki. isaburo functions differently as a character, but even he gets directly compared to gintoki by nobume. but housen isn't really there for gintoki--he's there for kamui. he isn't a particularly interesting character, nor is his death very satisfying because of the wishywashy writing about hinowa showing kindness to him at the end. previously i'd thought that his thing with the sun was just a weaker example of craving something that would destroy you, and/or running away from one's weaknesses and vulnerabilities to the point that you become a sort of husk.

that's probably still a thing, but the introduction of the sun motif on the much more meaning-dense end of gintama adds so much more. because now the pre-existing thematic framework of gintama can do the heavy lifting for housen (who is, again, a pretty uninteresting character), hinowa (who is cool, but suffers from both Woman and Mom in shounen), and tsukuyo (who is very cool, but suffers egregiously from Woman in shounen).

so what is housen, really? he's the guy kamui chose to go with when making his very bad life decisions, the end result of the path he decided to pursue. for simplicity let's call him kamui bad end, though they aren't very comparable in canon itself because housen doesn't come across as nearly self-destructive enough. but the basic logic is that housen is one of those characters who gave up everything in single-minded pursuit of power--he's a flat character because he already "emptied himself out", as kamui says, before the series started. (but then he got scared and lonely, and all that.)

what's funny is that if housen is a bad end, then the guy who he considers his rival automatically comes to mind as an opposed route. i think it would be a serious stretch to call umibouzu the "good end" for kamui, and that's definitely part of the point in how the yato are written. but in any case, kamui clearly looked both ways (insert roads leading to two castles meme) and saw housen stereotypical villain bad end on one side, and his dad on the other. so obviously he chose housen.

rakuyou is a planet where it's always overcast. you could say that kamui chose to leave that "safety" in order to pursue something that shone much brighter to him, even if it would disintegrate him in the end. or, since rakuyou's name invokes the sun, you could say that he chose to flee the place of his weakness and pain, where his family was, like housen deciding to flee the sun and build an underground paradise.

when i go over my gintama cast tarot assignments, i always hesitate over hinowa. is she the Sun? or the Empress? how can i choose? and i think this is essentially the same conundrum. and i think the fact that she's both (thankfully, actual gintama storytelling isn't restricted to 1 character = 1 arcana) also provides us with the best answer here. hinowa is the object of yearning of both housen (as the sun) and of seita (as a mother). obviously, as i said before, the whole seita-hinowa thing is meant to lay the groundwork for kamui's motivations, and is also why he's introduced in this arc in the particular way that he is. but kamui is both seita and housen. he's the child yearning for his mother, but also the warlord who fears the sun so much he'll lock not only himself but countless others into the dark forever. but housen also desperately longed for the sun. kamui looks down on seita for being weak, and he looks down on housen for choosing to drown himself in vices at the end of his life. in the end, he doesn't kill either one of them.

if the sun is what kamui yearns for, he wants to leave rainy "rakuyou" behind--and/or he misses his home, his childhood, his family, even if these things feel like they will destroy him. or, if the sun is what kamui seeks to avoid, he wants to turn away from "rakuyou", all the things that hold him down so that he can throw himself into single-minded pursuit of self-destruction--and/or he's afraid of the weakness and pain that the sun inflicts on him, and desires to be strong enough that he won't feel them. see, a whole lot of words to say the same thing over and over.

i've always assigned housen the Emperor arcana. and i've often wondered, should it be umibouzu instead? should it be utsuro? and that, i think, is another illumination. thank you tarot for being an icon. it's so effective here because gintama is predictably built on parallels, and overlapping arcana assignments are bound to make you think: why?

in the end, housen builds a city underground in order to avoid the sun, but he also severs hinowa's ankles so that he can hold her, the sun proxy, captive in his grasp. he can't bear to feel sunlight, but he can't bear to let it go either. kamui is much the same, but he's young--he thinks he can let it go, his fears and regrets haven't caught up to him yet, because he still has so much to reach for. housen attained the peak of his strength and notoriety, and then there was little left for him.

what else happens in rakuyou? well, oboro and takasugi fight. oboro is sort of a seita figure in his own right, if seita had burned down yoshiwara in hopes that it would drive hinowa running to him. of course, seita didn't know that hinowa couldn't run; and oboro didn't know that shouyou couldn't, either.

but aside from seita and housen, there's another character in yoshiwara who yearns for the sun--not to possess it, but to protect it, to serve it. tsukuyo is an interesting character heavily let down by the realities of living in shounen jump. from my own understanding of sorachi's character, i don't think the following was intentional on his part. but i do think there are real reasons why these parallels are textually present (mainly through gintoki).

tsukuyo is the closest oboro has in this series to someone similar to him. not in the sense of a reflection in the mirror or hole-sided adjacency, but as in someone who sort of has a similar job and background to him. or had, anyway. as i implied earlier, the few, specific, clearly intentional similarities she has with gintoki (hello red spider) bleed over into her similarities with oboro, of course, because gintoki and oboro are... you know. just look at them.

tsukuyo swore herself to hinowa, but technically she was working under housen. she led housen's paramilitary force--fortunately, the hyakka loved her a lot more than the naraku were probably ever able to have an opinion about oboro. i don't think tsukuyo and oboro would ever get along--but they did have the same job. oboro did it in the heavens, tsukuyo did it underground. anyway, hinowa "saved" tsukuyo by teaching her about fighting from inside one's cage, and so tsukuyo gladly walked into the cage, just like oboro returning to the naraku without shouyou. because they thought it would be worth it. and also because tsukuyo had been groomed from a young age for the Hole (apologies to those who haven't read my ouroboros essay), to give up on her selfhood, and also to kill her sensei (hello gintoki). but hinowa remained around, unlike shouyou. tsukuyo never thought she could really free her--but protecting her, being able to see her, was enough.

oboro's life problem is a bit like if hinowa and housen were the same person. but kamui would see in that pairing only a reflection of his parents. and also, kouka is a bit like if hinowa and utsuro were the same person. but utsuro is already like if shouyou and utsuro were the same person--because oboro's actual life problem is that shouyou and utsuro are the same person.

i've spoken a lot about tarot, but the moon in gintama has little to do with the Moon arcana. in gintama it's the backdrop, the symbol of promises--promises made, promises fulfilled, promises held on to dearly whether they can be fulfilled or not. i don't truly think that the sun as represented by hinowa interacts directly with this. but tsukuyo and oboro share moon-related names, and their promises (or rather, their vows of devotion) towards hinowa/shouyou are one-sided. one-sided promises aren't a problem in gintama--our silver-haired protagonist wouldn't be alive if it weren't for them.

if the naraku, if utsuro, if oboro under utsuro is associated with the sun through the yatagarasu, perhaps it's because of the evaporation of the promise through the eclipsing of the moon. shouka sonjuku, after all, burned down, and utsuro emerged from a pyre. and though i think that the sun is overall a motif much more strongly associated with the yato--that which they avoid, are weak to, and secretly long for--i don't think that's incompatible with the crow-meaning.

rabbits can die of loneliness, you know--or they can die from overheating in the sun. i think the question here is, is this a trick question? are those two the same thing?

[our-transmasculine-experience]

Sorry this is a bit of rant, but I hate toxic masculinity and gender norms so so so much because now I'm subscribing to them, and I cannot stop myself. Sometimes I want to wear a dress, but if I do, or even so much as think about it, my body shudders or I want to vomit. Because the idea of being seen as feminine even in the slightest way physically hurts me, and its all because of the way I was raised. I'm in an extremely conservative household, and there is so much toxic masculinity. My brother has fucking curls for gods sake, he is a cis man and my dad makes remarks about how its gay (otherwise sayings its feminine) to take care of his curls!

Now me being a closeted trans guy, every time I hear my dad talking to my brothers, or talking to other men when women are around there is such a stark line between the two groups. My dad and his friends and my brothers are MANLY MEN AND WOMAN CANNOT BE IN THE MEN GROUP while the women around me kind of drag me into the stereotypical womanly position and giggle and joke around and there's so much internalised misogyny. I had my mother the other day berate me for not shaving my own damn legs, her big point was that it was 'unhygienic' even though my dad is covered in hair. Then the real point came out, apparently not shaving my legs makes me look like a lesbian!

It sucks man, it just sucks. I love my brother though because even though he also as equally as transphobic as them, he doesn't subscribe to their weird toxic masculinity and honestly he's the closest I'll ever come to being out of the closest.

I used to think my sister might be in the closest but as we get older and she conforms more and more to my parents ideologies I realise I was just fooling myself. And I hate being like this, because my family are good people in general and their not unkind to me, or treat me poorly, they treat me really well, I'm really well off and I'm grateful to them. But if I ever came out, I would be cut from this family so quick it would make my head spin.

Being around all these stereotypes just feeds my insecurities because sometimes when I listen to the things the men around me say I know its so misogynistic and I know I should strive to be better than that, but I can't help but really want to fit in with them because all I want to be seen is as a boy. But I never will be. I really really fucking hate it (excuse the language) when the women in my family try to pull me into their side. I hate that my older brothers just see me as my dad's daughter from his second marriage, I love them so much and I just want to be friends with them but I'll never get that, my younger brother will though BECAUSE HE'S A CIS MAN!

Its selfish, I'm really selfish for thinking like this, because I live really really well, I have parents who love me even its not for who I actually am, and we have money. Seeing how bad others are living compared to me and then complaining about my household is selfish I know. I just wish these stereotypes would go away, I wish I wasn't trans, I wish I was a normal girl, but I'm not, I'm a boy, I'll never be a girl and it's the worst thing in the world. It doesn't help either that I'm bisexual and got outed by my so-called best friend and had to pretend it was just a phase that I grew out of. I want to scream, but I can't, and I won't. Because if I ever want to succeed in this world, I need my family's support.

I hate this, because I do love my father and my mother and my brothers. I just know they only love the girl they see. That's what I hate. My mother keeps telling me to dress like a girl, to be a normal girl, and honestly her acknowledging that I am not like your average female is the closest I'll ever get with her acknowledging that I'm trans. But I still love them, I love them so much, please don't think that they are bad people because they really aren't. I just cannot fucking stand how they continue to think that trans people aren't really trans or that being trans is 'demonic' its screwing with my head. I know they would never utter a bad word against a gay or trans person they met in real life but god the things they say when the curtains close.

Not to mention that all the stereotypes have ruined having children for me. I want children, I want to get married, but I can't! I can't get married! I can't have children because all I can think about is how that is the 'WOMAN'S POSITION' EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT! But if I ever have kids or get married, I will be shoved right into the 'I told you so' 'You're a woman!' I will be put in the feminine box, and I hate it! I will just be another woman who got married to a guy that pretends to be nice in public but is not so nice at best and full on abusive at worst behind the scenes which seems to be the constant with every woman I know. God forbid I ever married a woman!

Sorry that this was long, I really needed to rant. I'm honestly so grateful that the internet exists because I can't be out in real life, but I can be out online, even if no one actually knows who I am. Thank you for listening have a great day! I love your page so much it brings me so much comfort and joy!

i would get tf out of that environment as soon as you can. never apologize for feeling unhappy with that situation because most people would be, too. that sounds horrible, and i’m really really sorry that you have to go through that.

best of luck, brother.

[ystrike1]

Kimi no Tamenara Nandemo Suruyo Kyouaidanshi ni Torawarete - By Takeru Uduki (2/10)

Behold the worst yandere offering I have found in the year 2023. I cannot believe how bad this got. Every chapter gets more ridiculous and less fun at the same time. The main character is an annoying coward who marries an equally boring side character in the end. This one gets some points though. The criminal stalker actually gets punished.

Nana is a boring, nice girl with an extreme phobia of men. She's also pretty.

Her best friend Kaoru isn't actually a woman. It's a man. Not just a man. He's the same rich, spoiled boy that harassed her for attention in elementary school. He's completely insane.

The ONLY good part of this story is the fact that he lives a miserable life. Nana doesn't choose him.

Kaoru screwed Nana up so bad. She had to go to an all girls high school. She doesn't go out much. She avoids places that are popular with men. She's in university...and her only friend is Kaoru...

I know it's not fair, but it's impossible to make friends when you have such an extreme phobia.

There is one normal man in this story.

His name is Nanjo. He's bland as tofu and he marries Nana in the end.

Kaoru regularly drugs Nana so he can take pictures of her while she sleeps. Kaoru also touches her. He also has a secret room full of trophies that belong to her. He wanders around this room completely nude.

He's extremely creepy and scary. The setup isn't awful, but everyone sucks.

Every single character in this is so gratingly annoying its unreal. Also some of the art looks like shit.

I thought this would maybe be an ok read by chapter 2, but then it pisses the bed. It shits the bed. It pisses me off. Nana gets abused. She escapes from her yandere tormentor. This SHOULD be a very cool story.

But.

It absolutely ruins itself, and the finale is dogshit.

Kaoru is a rich brat.

He's supposed to marry a nice, rich girl who is super in love with him. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this poor girl. We see her during the finale, and she's totally smitten with this loser. She's also very pretty, but for some reason Kaoru has been stalking some boring girl...who hasn't given him the time of day since elementary school.

Nanjo Normal tries to assault her....but Nana is actually smart enough to suspect foul play. Nanjo said he was drugged, and he only touched her. He didn't violate her. He had a fever too.

Izumi, a professor who is secretly an evil bastard butler, drugged Nanjo to isolate Nana. To increase her fear of men. To make her more dependent, and distracting for Kaoru.

I hate Izumi because it seems like he's obsessed with Nana too for a minute, but nope. We don't get an ending with two hot yandere half brothers.

Izumi only cares about taking over the family.

Kind of a huge bummer for the yandere fans reading this.

I hate this guy. Izumi. Izumi. Izumi. He tortures Nana so damn much. All so he can have his brothers position. She is absolutely an innocent victim, and it's just sad to see it.

Also.

Izumi is a secret half brother illegitimate child character!!! Which is a very boring cliché.

He usurps Kaoru and he becomes the heir...because Kaoru is a moron that won't marry the ideal fiance he has.

By the way.....

...

Kaoru isn't actually a real yandere.

He is obsessed with Nana, but Izumi has been enabling him. Spoiling him. Suggesting that Nana is his true love and prize. Basically, Izumi encoured Kaoru to become a stalker so he could easily usurp Kaoru to get power.

Izumi has been doing this since Kaoru was young and impressionable.

Another bummer for the yandere fans trying to read this garbage.

The story becomes a boring cliché drama about the two brothers. I am not kidding Nana barely appears for like half a chapter. She's supposed to be the POV character it's ridiculous. The rich boy drama is so stereotypical and boring. It's a yawn fest, which features alot of gratuitous woman abuse.

It's just no fun.

The story JUMPS from Nana having lesbian feelings for her female best friend who is actually a male stalker.....to this???

We don't even know Kaoru is rich until like chapter three.

Anyway the ending sucks.

Nana goes through more traumatic shit.

She chooses to be with Nanjo.

She FORGIVES Kaoru. She doesn't even punch him in the face, and Izumi gets away with his countless crimes because he's rich and powerful now.

WTF????

It takes THREE YEARS with Nanjo for her to get over her trauma, so she can finally wed the nice guy that treats her right.

Kaoru is forced to...marry a gorgeous girl and be obscenely weathly forever??? How awful?? Kaoru never even cared about ruling the family. He just wanted the power to stalk Nana without being thrown in jail. He's a worthless little shit and his wife deserves better.

Izumi is never ever punished for anything, and we get the WORST wedding scene ever.

Kaoru stands there across the street, while she gets married. Izumi is a guest for some God forsaken reason, and he brings flowers.

From Kaoru.

Nana cries and holds the flowers, and she thanks Kaoru for leaving and letting her be happy?????

Um???????

Punch Izumi???

Punch Kaoru????

This is a very rare case. Nana had no real romantic interest in Izumi OR Kaoru. She was just abused by them, and she was used as a tool by Izumi?

WTF is he at her wedding?

Girl didn't get to enjoy any money or good s** what gives?

Kick em out of the wedding hall Ugh.

Ugh.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

I’m sorry but I’m just a really huge Yves stan. Like listen, Yves would freak me out so bad that I would probably be sweating profusely every time he is within a 6 feet radius, but like as someone who went through parentification and was essentially a glass child with unmet needs when I was younger , the motherly vibes that Yves exudes,,, I’m sorry but I would be hooked, addicted even. Hell I might become the yandere too who knows LMAO.

Like Monty would be cool because I wouldn’t be as intimidated by him, well aside from his sheer size but he’s just a bit sleezy to me I dunno but Yves has this sort of lithe, vampiric, serpent like essence to him that would make me nervous but excited. Hell having someone pour into me in THAT fashion would have me excited.

Also and like correct me if I’m wrong (this is my interpretation) but I feel like Monty is the type of guy that would’ve folded for any person that gave him attention during that time. Like reader was just caught up at the right (wrong) time and now has him following them everywhere, when this literally could’ve been someone else (I think this was already addressed in the story, either this one or the first Monty story I can’t remember) but like YVES, I feel like he has a specific reason why he chose the reader, we would never know but there’s probably something really unique about his darling that makes him so enamored, maybe it a combination of things, who knows. But I feel like his love is more unique and special, to me.

I dunno man I just want someone to check up on me like Yves, I’m down bad.

tw: implication of suicide

YES I BE FUKIN DOWN BAD 4 YVES TOO CAUS HE IS SO MOTHERLY

okay so like the reason why Yves is so into you has been a hot topic on this account, originally i planned to be like some sort of reincarnation shit but that wouldn't hold much water and it would be a little too creepy to imply that he was watching even before ur birth, kinda like preordering a partner and that's already grooming

so i left it vague and up for interpretation and just said he's the allegory of a perfect parent (one link within the link) like i promise i do not condone grooming n incest shit but like, something about having someone knows you deeply and wholly like a fucking parent is really hot, not hot in the "i want to fuck my mom and dad" kinda way, but more like "OH GOD PLEASE I FUCKING WISH YVES IS REAL I WANT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF SO BAD AND I WANT SOMEONE TO SEE IM SUFFERING AND TAKWE IT AWAY FROM MEEEEE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE PLEAASSSEEEEEEE"

these themes literally show up in almost all my works esp Yandere older brother, Yandere best friend and heavily in my Language Barrier series

Whereas for monty, that was my attempt of like trying something new, stuff that I' don't necessarily fancy but it's a nice change of pace, the exact opposite of Yves; the stereotype of the man of the house: dirty, manchild (cant cook), fixes shit his own, doesn't even own a house to handle its affairs, uses dishsoap to wash himself, sex fiend, financially irresponsible, inattentive but trying his best beer is my best friend

Whereas Yves is a stereotype of the woman, cooks, clean, has a 20 step skincare routine, takes care of his looks, hygiene, dress up well, proper etiquette, makeup, handles the finance, saving himself after marriage, more research than the FBI, loves fashion, fitness, live laugh love

and like i get it im not surprised , there will be those who prefer monty over Yves and Yves over monty. just like there's this anon who said something along the lines of Monty are for those who want to fix him, while Yves is for those who wants to BE fixed.

i did have a lot of anons disliking both sides of the yin n yang which was expected n shit

and yes ur right, Monty would have fallen for anyone who saved him not necessarily you, you just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time- but his saving grace is that once he latched on , he's never letting go there is no one that could replace you. Mans is going to off himself if you're gone

in conclusion, im also downbad for yves

sauryy montyy

[oceanwithouthermoon]

part of the reason i love kubosai and its shipping community so much is because i never see people making them the stereotypical gay couple i usually (like..almost ALWAYS) see in mlm shipping.. like, yk how in every mlm shipping community there are THOUSANDS of (usually girl) fans who assign one character "the pants in the relationship" and the other is basically the girl.. I HATE THAT

they always create this unbalanced dynamic where the guy theyve chosen to be the man (usually the taller, stronger character) is ALWAYS the comforter and the one theyve assigned as the woman (usually shorter, weaker) is always the one showing their emotions and being comforted.. GUYS..

BIG STRONG MEN HAVE FEELINGS AND NEED+DESERVE COMFORT TOO..

when its straight girls doing this (which it usually is) it makes me worry for their boyfriends because they've obviously made these gay relationships into what they think is "normal" (a straight relationship) so does that mean they think men just dont have emotions ??? they dont ever think their bfs need comfort too ?? yall.. ur bf deserves just as much love as you do..

like, random example but take heartstopper.. how often do we see nick crying and being comforted by charlie ?? do we ever ??? i cant remember one time, so maybe there are a few but its rare enough that i literally cant remember.. but then how often do we see nick comforting a crying/upset charlie ?? LIKE EVERY OTHER CHAPTER..

i dont have a solid opinion on heartstopper and im def not saying its a bad webcomic/show (personally i enjoy it) but i AM saying that its one of many mlm ships with this dynamic and its actually CANON in this show so its kinda.. ehh..

its definitely not bad to have a similar dynamic and it does NOT make you girly to be the "charlie" in your situation, but god damn dude, why is it EVERY ship ??

kubosai never does this and we all agree on how they make EACH OTHER better and comfort each other and ugh.. its so nice and such a nice stark difference from other mlm ships.. im talking like even in the saiki k community, too, like im not gonna name drop any but i think yall know😭