#but yeah yesterday was way too much. and it wasnt even that much by anyone else's standards

[milkweedman]

I had another pain management setup appointment this morning, this time with a physical therapist, and she was asking me about my flare ups and everything and i came to the realizations that 1) theres always a bit of a leadup to the flare, where i'll have a couple days where i feel like shit and my joints feel hot and weak but its also nowhere near the pain levels of an actual flare up. And 2) i am in fact in a pre-flare up right now :/

All this to say that im warping another belt but im not trying backstrap again right now because i can already tell im going to feel like death tomorrow

[user220811]

hii i saw ur crush/best friend headcanons for lo’ak and i loved them sm. i was wondering if u could do hcs where lo’ak and reader both like each other and the reader gets jealous over tsireya? what would lo’ak do if he found out?

“I see you”

Lo’ak x fem!omatikaya!reader imagine (fluff)

Please read!!! I only posted my first avatar imagine yesterday, and am now at 100 followers!! I want to thank you all so much, I am more than grateful!! Hope you enjoy :)

Sorry this ones kinda crap

I see you- “I see the love and your feelings and your soul and you mean everything to me.”

You and Lo’ak have always had a special connection, and everyone is aware of it. You also clearly like eachother, but both of you doubt that the others feel the same. When you joined them on their travel to the water na’vis, you were quite nervous with what to expect.

“What if they find us?” You ask warily.

“Well then I will protect you.” Lo’ak states.

You smile at his braveness, even though you and him both know that deep down he is just as scared. But Lo’ak loves when he gets a chance to act brave and fearless like his dad.

When you all arrived at the reefs, you were still kind of cautious, and Lo’ak saw this, so pulled you between him and Neteyam. You kept your head down, avoiding the eyes of the Metkayina. You looked away as Jake spoke to Tonowari and Ronal, and glanced at the water around you.

Thats when you spotted a girl emerging from the water. She seemed about your age, and was beautiful. Way prettier than you, you thought. You noticed how Neteyam and Lo’aks heads turned in the same direction, and seemed to linger on the same girl. Neteyam you didnt really care about looking, but you felt insecure as Lo’aks eyebrows ever so slightly raised as his eyes followed the girl, and she looked at him, too. You know you shouldnt feel this way, but you cant help it. For all you know, Lo’ak doesnt have any interest in you, not like you with him.

When she was introduced as Tonowari and Ronal’s daughter, it made you feel even worse about yourself. You weren’t anyone special back in the jungle, just a normal omatikaya na’vi. With Lo’ak being Jake’s son, you felt worried that they would have stronger connections than you and him.

You were taken away from your thoughts by a tug on your arm, and snapped out of it to focus on Lo’ak infront of you.

“Y/n, come on, they are showing us our home. Are you okay?” He says, a hint of concern in his tone.

“Yeah yeah I’m fine, come on” you reply, going ahead with your hand still in his. Lo’ak wasnt fully convinced, but decided to drop it.

Once you had settled in to your home, you were all called to the water, to learn the ways of the Metkayina. You stayed beside Lo’ak, as you were lead to the rocks by the water, by Tsireya and her two brothers. You all sat in a circle, you securely sat between Neteyam and Lo’ak.

“You must learn to slow your breathing to be able to survive under the water.”

She knelt infront of Lo’ak, and placed her hand on his lower abdomen.

“Breathe from here” she instructs

You know it is just their way of teaching, but you felt a wave of jealousy come over you. You werent the type to cause a scene, so you stayed sat down, quietly.

Once you all were able to slow your heart rate enough, you were lead to the water. Lo’ak had a sense of urgency about him as he went ahead with Tsireya, clearly going way too fast for him to handle so soon, and this made you feel deflated. You had only been there a matter of hours and already felt like Lo’ak had found someone over you. You didnt like feeling this way at all, and needed to get away from it. Neteyam, who was swimming beside you, noticed this, but before he was able to check, you spoke up.

“I dont feel all that well, I’m gonna go back.” You say, which is clearly a lie.

Neteyam could tell this, and with a quick glance to Lo’ak and the others ahead, he knew why you felt that way. But he knew you were reserved, and wouldnt tell him the truth, so didn’t want to push it.

“Do you want me to come with you?” He asks softly.

“No no its okay, you go on. Just tell the others I’ll join them another day.” You insist, and turn to swim back to shore before Neteyam could muster another word.

You were now sat down on the edge of your home dangling your feet in the water, splashing the surface with small glum kicks. Neytiri and Jake were with the girls exploring their new home and meeting the clan, so you were on your own.

That was until you heard footsteps.

“Y/n” you hear Lo’ak say as he spots you.

He sits down beside you, placing his feet in the water like you were, and shuffles up close.

“How come you didnt come with us into the sea? It was amazing!” Lo’ak says

“I uh, I didnt feel right,” you said with your head down towards the water “Just wanted to be on my own”

“Are you okay? You have seemed quiet.” He says, gently placing his hand on yours, “Have I done something?”

You look him in the eyes, his filled with concern, yours with longing.

“No, no, its just, its nothing.” You say, returning your focus to the water.

“I know its not nothing y/n, your eyes tell me different.” Lo’ak replies sincerely.

“I guess Im just worried,” you begin.

“About what?” Lo’ak ponders, scooting even closer to you.

“That you’ll forget about me.”

“Wait- what? Why do you think that?” Lo’ak questions, worry filling him.

“Lo’ak, Ive seen the way you look at Tsireya, I mean, I get it, she’s beautiful, shes talented, shes smart, shes-”

“Y/n, stop.” Lo’ak says

You stop.

“Do you think I like Tsireya?” He asks, looking you deep into your eyes as you look up towards him.

“Well its kind of obvious” you painfully chuckle.

“Y/n, I dont like Tsireya.”

You look at him confused, and he shakes his head with a laugh, looking down at his lap for a second.

“Y/n, its always been you.” Lo’ak states. You are taken by surprise, and Lo’ak notices this. He grabs both your hands, and hold you close.

“Y/n, I see you.”

[tinybed]

im just going to vent post real quick because this bothers me and i just want to talk about it ok -_- this week at work i did everything i could but i’ve been feeling so mentally and emotionally drained, and physically very very drained, literally lifeless and in pain Lol. my forearms are stiff and creaky, my wrists and my fingers hurt, and my lower legs and feet hurt. it was extremely busy on sunday and monday wasnt too much better. so its been a hard week for me, on tuesday i went home and just cried a lot. and its really embarrassing because i wish i didnt feel this way and i was doing really good, but i guess my stamina is still adjusting and i had worked rly hard the past 3 weeks, so now im just kind of dealing with the effects of pushing it too far i guess. anyways yesterday one of the supervisors i rarely work with asked if i wanted to go on bar and i said yeah and he said it would be good for me to practice, and that made me feel shitty lol because i havent been practicing for a while now. i’ve been flexing between different stations and making all the drinks pretty fast, running around and being super attentive to every detail for the most part, and basically just doing everything everyone asks of me. and then later i told him im not rly practicing anymore, and he said i just need to get faster…. and that bothered me so much that i actually went upstairs and cried for a second that i had downtime :-/ it was just so discouraging, like i’ve been trying so hard and pushing myself to the limit in every way and now im burnt out emotionally and physically less mobile and i have to hear someone tell me i need to get faster despite that being the only time they have worked with me on bar? i told him my arms hurt and a co worker kinda made a joke about how lifting milk jugs is a work out for her, which eased the awkwardness a bit but clearly im still upset about it lol.

im going to keep trying and pushing forward but im worried because the amount of people we had on sunday + monday was so beyond what i feel capable of handling, and it kinda makes me feel like i suck honestly. i just worry about my future and what im going to do. i dont want to be a weak person or buckle under pressure, but im getting more and more stressed out seeing how my body cant keep up with what im doing. i’ve noticed my ability to listen and concentrate is deteriorating, i keep forgetting things. i was doing so well that i didnt even think to mention it, i was just happy with how i was progressing and proud of myself, so my confidence isnt very high now and i feel scared of what my future holds if im having this much of an issue doing something that most people would consider something anyone can do :-(

[totentnz]

in the thing i wrote yesterday, kerry, v and johnny hang out for a day. of course johnny has to be a little shit:

"you wanna pick the music?." the question directed at him pulled him out of his thoughts and caused him to appear next to v in a position similar to hers. she was in the middle of negotiating something with kerry. johnny almost declined her offer, after all there were more important things to do. but perhaps having a day off of merc work would do both of them good. besides he liked it when v spent time with kerry; they took care of each other in a way. he pulled a pack of cigarettes from a pocket and lit one. "yeah why not." and shrugged at v's surprise. a few moments later v was running towards the pool, all excitedly - like an 8 year old who just finished her homework and was now allowed to play. it was refreshing to see her like this and it even brought a smile to his face. he glanced over to kerry and saw him smiling too, getting back up after v had pushed him down to get an advantage in the race to the water. "you really didnt need to do that, you are faster than him anyway."

so johnny was allowed to pick the music, v liked to get him involved in the more mundane things in their life. it was still difficult for him to accept these gestures, after all he was killing her. but even if he refused she wouldnt let that slide so it was easier to just accept her love... ahem. affection. so he began to look around for a song. a particular song that he very much enjoyed. a song he knew kerry would love. a song that v knew by heart. "there you are." muttered to himself, a mischievous smirk on his face. and so he sent this and their whole discography to the stereo. fists fall by rotten it said on the display, not that anyone saw it. the song started with a whisper: "no more tears, stand up to your fears." he could feel v's heart drop. she turned around, still in a full sprint and for a moment their eyes met. the look in v's eyes was one of betrayal - but johnny knew she would be thankful in the end. however his grand plan had to go to shit one way or another: v tripped over her own feet and planted her face onto the pavement, followed by a disgusting and fleshy crack. the sound caused johnny to flinch, he did not expect for that to happen. everything went dark for a moment and when he opened his eyes he found himself in v's body, a worried ker cradling his head with both hands. "shit v, are ya alright?" kerry asked. "fuckin preem." johnny groaned, touching his nose - it was tender, definitely broken. "she's gonna be so pissed. ha!" he laughed and looked up at the sky, trying to stop the blood from dripping on her chest, she had already removed her top to jump into the water. "oh, johnny?" kerry asked, removing his hands from v's face. "yeah, the gonk passed out. i get to drag her to safety whenever that happens." johnny was wiping the blood away using his forearm. "she'll be back in a few moments, don't worry." he reassured him, johnny had planned to fuck around a bit but he didn't wanna ruin this day for them. "aight wait here im gonna-" kerry was about to get up but johnny grabbed his arm with his unoccupied hand. "thats not important right now. you gotta listen to this." he pointed at the stereo. of course the music had continued playing. of course neither of them had actually listened to it and kerry wasnt getting the hint. "what?" he asked, clearly annoyed but johnny insisted. the quality of the music was terrible, clearly not professionally made. the instrumentals were nasty but in a good way. definitely harder than anything samurai or kerry had ever produced - hardrock or perhaps even metal. the lead vocalist was a woman, a very pissed off one at that. kerry was too occupied with his injured friend(s) to clearly listen to the lyrics. every time he tried to say something johnny would tell him to shut up so he eventually gave up and just listened. after 3 minutes the first song was over and kerry picked up a towel that was lying on a nearby chair. "okay?" the gears in his brain were clearly turning. "you dont hear it?" johnny asked, finally allowing kerry to wipe away the blood. "the guitar? yeah the guy has potential but--" johnny whipped his head away from kerry. he was irritated now. "the vocals! sound like anyone you know?" he gave kerry a moment before gesturing at his temporary body. "hold up, no.. no way! what the fuck?!" kerry replied, getting up from his hunched position to walk around and listen to the other song that was playing now.

[itsdelicate]

sorry this is late but hiiii!!

YES exactly omg like when i wanted to get into f+tm it took me forever to choose smth to listen to first so i just asked a friend what to listen to. yea ur absolutely right. she did she did and then acted like it isnt one of the most addictive songs on her discography??? when i first heard the bridge i thought she said he looks so pretty like a devil and that did me in but the actual lyric is everything too lmao YES hey taylor just make the longest album all a bunch of 10 mins song thanks babe lol

omg thatd be so fun!! they came to my country and we totally missed it and my mom was so sad ab it like she was all "why didnt you tell me they were coming" lmaodsjk and i wouldve loved to go as well. aww its ur "i thought they were boo-ing me" sorta moment (thats the first thing that came to me lmao). YES which is why im trying to get into other artists cause soon im going to have listened the hell out of all the discographies of my fav artists djskmdlm

HAHAH yea good thing taylor is a master of putting depressing lyrics together w dancey beats akmddsnm i love slow sad songs cause of my mom i think cause she played those slow whitney houston and celine dion songs on repeat when i was younger lol

yea dont fall for the peer pressure to watch them its a lot and not so amazing anyways lol. i mean yea but some of the plot is bit iffy for me like the cultural roots of the whole avatar people and that dash of white saviour stuff in the first movie so its like eh.

OHH okok glad u had fun!! well i went to my grandmas in the weekend and went out w my cousins yesterday which was loads of fun!! def wanna do that again soon. wbu? did anything kinda fun or even pretty lame or really just anything lol

omg im actually a bit in the middle for me! lol like i do like it but its not smth i listen to as much as most of her other songs. it is!! im def never doing a whole ranking lmaokdwk OOH yesyes i love lwymmd since the mv like i thought it was the most iconic thing ever when i watched it and i wasnt even a fan at the time. ooh def closure!! i could not listen to it at first then after a long while i went back to it and tried to listen to it like the first time and LOVED IT!!! now shes everything to me and i will defend her w my life <3

how's ur day been? any little things in it that made u happy?

xxx ur secret santa

ahhh my reply’s late too that’s alright!! i’ve been working on assignments, very upsetting that it’s back to reality now 🥲

oooh that’s a great way to get into music! honestly only one of my friend’s is a big music lover so i never get recs from anyone except her ahsjd omg same i thought that was the lyric as well! no literally like give me a 10 min version of the great war,,,,

oh nooo it would’ve been so fun!! are you a big concert person? shdkf it was Exactly like that i thought they were laughing cause i was bad at singing or something 💀 i always end up switching from whichever album i’ve been playing non-stop! i just saw & juliet the musical last week so for now it’s the soundtrack instead of midnights hehe

sad bops are so good 😌 oooh very fair! what was your very first album you got on your own?

noted 😭 oh oof tbh idk what the avatar movies are about at all except that they’re blue msjfkf

aw that’s lovely!! i saw the life of pi play and & juliet last week and then also went to the zoo which was for my assignment (i study animal welfare) but also a nice day out 🥰

i want to like it more it’s such a fun song but idk why i just shdjf lover is my lowest ranked album although some of its individual songs are my fav! it’ll take the whole of 2023 to do an entire ranking tbh 😭 i think taylor can make a whole album faster than i’d be able to rank all her songs lmao omg yess and the mv whew, ooh yeah!! a lot of people didn’t like the “clanging pots and pans” LOL but it’s great!!

my day’s been good! i tried out a new recipe today and it was really successful so i’m pleased 😌 wbu!!

[punkscowardschampions]

Cali & Marly & Group Chat & Barly

Ali: [Private to Carly, probably the day after the Johnny kiss and leave drama because you’re needing the rest of the day to try and process that]

Ali: I’ve made [some kind of diet treat Carly’s mother would approve of, probably vaguely alcoholic, full hun behaviour, you know the drill] to say thank you to [said mother] I’ll drop them on my route, if that’s cool

Carly: its grand she’ll be 😁🥰🤗 but you know u didnt need to worry yourself saying nothing 💛👼🌟🧚‍♀️✨🐝🌞💛🌻 she loves u its never no bother

Ali: ah this was no bother neither, besides, it was properly short notice yesterday and I wasn’t feeling the 🌞

Carly: 🥺☔️😢🌈

Carly: Im here if you wanna talk about the 🌞💛 going

Ali: I should’ve prepared for it, I thought I had

Ali: he was okay, better than that, even but it still was hard to see, you know?

Carly: I dont reckon theres no preparing for some things baby, much as I hate it for u

Ali: I reckon you’re right 🐇

Ali: and maybe I’m just being judgmental, sure, is he any more out his head than we get when we want or need?

Ali: Just looks different in a hospital

Carly: I shouldve put aside the fear theyd lock me up & come w you, I’m sorry

Carly: Im being a bad friend of late like

Ali: You never are, there’s been lots going on in your 🌍 too

Carly: nothing that matters like you reconnecting w your brother its massive & 🌍🌱

Ali: It should be

Ali: and it is, one of those things you thought would feel bigger and 💗 though, I think

Ali: I’m going to go see him regularly now so

Carly: ah sure it was only the 1st visit though you’ve to give it time for your magic to work is what mine’s saying 💙🔮💜

Ali: I’ll be ready next time, you’re right 🎯

Carly: & I’m serious about coming if youve need of it, phobia or no, ILY more than I could ever be scared

Ali: You’ll make me cry, in my fragile state

Ali: I wish your mum liked better baked goods so you could enjoy them more too now 🥺🥺

Carly: I cant be risking myself going to shit for 🍩🥧🍪🧁 physical state of me is as fragile as your emotional 😅

Ali: You’re perfect, I hope Moses is reminding you

Carly: you’ll make me 😳🍨

Carly: only u cos u know hes not saying things to me like how you are

Ali: but he makes you feel it, or as close to it as any of us do

Carly: he makes me feel alive

Carly: maybe cos hes after killing me most the time ❤️💜💙 idk but still 

Ali: We like alive

Ali: 💀💀💀 only in the good ways

Carly: hes pure class @ them ways, give the lad that

Ali: And he’s still looking after you, how we said, yeah?

Carly: ive not been 🔥💀👻 yet

Ali: Did you tell your ma what was said, what did she reckon about it all?

Carly: sure look we all reckon bb’s full of it 👶😭 she says he’ll calm if go for him next 💚

Ali: I don’t wanna 🌍☄️ but I had heard talking that it might be a bit more serious than that, could be

Carly: nobody grown’s talking, never are or [her mum] would be 🔥💀👻 donkey’s back for her carry on 😅

Carly: its yer man there cos I’ll not tell him hes a ride & I love him

Ali: What if it is about her carry on too, like it’s all being counted now

Carly: my da’s to be counted for us not having been moved on, his 👻 & her craic for what a decent non gorja fella he were 🙃 its k

Ali: Do the elders buy it, like 🌹✨

Carly: ah no but long as he no shows to claim hes true some fella working down the kebab or the like, what are they to say?

Carly: if she don’t have the knowing herself who he is they cant tell her who he isnt

Ali: You’ve a point 🤞

Carly: he could be a traveller sure as not 🌹✨ I like to think its so

Ali: He’s left it sos he could be anyone to you

Carly: if only for the wind up of em lads I deserve it

Ali: Serious

Carly: will we talk about yours?

Ali: My daddy?

Ali: I’m not sure I like where that’s going 😆

Carly: you’re gas but u know well I mean your boy there who was after taking you for joe til he wasnt 

Ali: I don’t know what to say about it, or him

Carly: you could start yourself on whats the meaning of the one way cos you didnt walk to [the name of the place where the psych ward is]

Ali: We got that far, like

Ali: can’t make much chit-chat on a bike going [whatever ‘cos undoubtedly you’re speeding, not meant to be on it anyhow at your age]

Carly: & he got himself 😤😠 over what when yous came off for being there?

Ali: God, nothing more tragic than recounting your failed attempts at flirting, is there? 😶💀

Ali: That was before, then we left it, he said he’d still take us but he shouldn’t of

Carly: I’m sorry he dont know you’re perfect or how 🐇🍀🌠 hes youve an eye for him out of everyone u could have your pick of

Ali: I know it’s stupid, how much he hates us but he doesn’t stick to it, my head is still spinning

Carly: hes ✂️ from same cloth as mosey to be sure, my god that boy hates me til he dont I feel 😵‍💫 its work making him like me at all

Ali: at least you’ve found a way, I feel clueless now 

Carly: your body isnt gonna be the thing for johno, well it is but he wont say thats as true as it is for any lad, he’ll act hes 😤😠 if you send him pics or throw yourself his way 

Ali: He threw his self at me 

Ali: then he was really 😤😠

Carly: oh now theres sense

Ali: Shall we just run away and never think about them again?

Carly: away w ye for 💭 youll let him win

Carly: hows he to get what he wants & not you? I reckon not, baby, we’ll be staying 🌼🌻

Ali: 😣

Ali: Ack, it was so good

Carly: I know, I felt your 😣 before u put it there

Ali: He’s after being good, doing what he needs to do

Carly: ah, it’s a con, hes allowed to fuck gorja girls morning to night, theyre all allowed to do as they please from cradle to grave its only the girls who cant

Ali: Then he’s just not after me 😒🤕

Carly: its that hes after stopping the others being w me & he cant if hes on you

Carly: its my fault im sorry 

Ali: He shouldn’t be so concerned with telling them their business, that’s him, not you

Carly: hes always reckoned im a manky wagon idk, that’s on [her mum] maybe, but she’d be sorry for it to u too if she had the knowing

Ali: Please don’t, this has got to stay between us only 🔒

Carly: 😶🤞💛 id never say a word to hurt u or stand against something youre after

Carly: id rid myself of my 👅 1st & ive much need of it

Ali: I can’t have that

Ali: ✂️ away, it’s all his loss, not ours

Carly: what are we to do then?

Ali: 💭☁️👻🦷🤍

Ali: Party

Carly: grand ive caught the 🌞 enough to look unreal in 🤍

Ali: I don’t mind looking ghostly and fading into the background

Carly: oh please you could never fade & yer man john boy isnt gonna have you reckoning its so

Ali: if he’s a 🐺 Ro is like, a husky

Carly: hes a 🐜 sorry

Ali: ☹️ ughhh

Carly: you can pick what moses is to 🌻😁🌞💛 yourself some idc

Ali: 🦟 is the only suitably rude comparative 

Carly: I love it 😅

Carly: he does make me 🩸🍓❤️ sure enough

Ali: Are we to be ashamed of our awful taste 👅 

Ali: I’m all scuffed and scraped and I just want to see him again so badly 

Carly: Shames for folk like your poor daddy who’ve no say being born to it & keeping it in em 💔🙏📿⛪️💔 you’re wild & free 🐅🧡

Carly: we’ll get him for u 💜🔮💙 he wants it as bad theres no for proper y not

Ali: I don’t know but being wild and free will help me get over it otherwise 🐅🧡

Ali: don’t need to force it 🧘‍♀️

Carly: ive known the boy forever I know what he likes its why he hates me this much

Ali: We’re the same, in his 👀🌍 

Carly: he wishes but he cant 👀 u like that cos we’re not & hes 😤😠😡

Ali: You’re great, he’s an idiot

Carly: hes not wrong for that 💭

Carly: I’m 🌚 to your 🌞

Ali: 🌇🌃

Ali: Can I stay when I swing by? I’m doing nothing here except over💭

Carly: u dont ever need to be asking

Ali: Usually but I’m 😣😖 rn

Carly: its k ill 💭 how to calm you down

Ali: 🍃💚

Carly: on your 🚲 w ye 🧚🏼‍♀️💚

Ali: 💨💨

Carly: [just putting a note here that we’re doing a timeskip so it’s some time before Ronan’s bday not immediately after the convo we just did or when we read it back in the future we’ll be like ?? what]

Carly: u @ work still?

Moses: thereabouts

Carly: 🥺 til when?

Moses: Don’t know, not like wes work to a schedule or to anyone’s pockets but our own

Carly: yea k true

Moses: then we’re going out, it’s [some club night, idk]

Carly: wes being only the lads is it?

Moses: Not the elders, like

Moses: except for [the cringe uncle, we all know the vibes]

Moses: You wouldn’t get in anyway

Carly: i’m not after the - craic from [cringe uncle] you’re grand 😅

Moses: That I am 👍

Carly: later then like 

Moses: Don’t wait up

Carly: tell your mammy that one there

Moses: I don’t still live with mine

Carly: mine would get us in

Moses: I’m after her craic just as much

Carly: i got you, boy unless weve 💪🍆 youre not after us coming

Moses: No one is after taking lasses to the club, just taking ‘em home

Carly: how I said ⬆️ ive worked out what the craic is

Moses: Your mam ain’t it

Carly: she’ll be 💔🥺💔😢💔😭💔 youre her fave 

Moses: Like you, she don’t have them

Carly: ah sure u know youre mine too

Moses: Give over

Carly: why are u giving out about it? u like it

Moses: That’s not what we are, let’s not play that game

Carly: idk why u want what we are is to be us not liking each other

Moses: we like each other for what we need to

Carly: yea & youre giving me what I need so youre my fave

Moses: When I’ve got nothing or no one better on, ‘course

Carly: k no its your turn to give over cos i drop what I’ve on for you all the time

Moses: yeah and you wanna, not asking you more than once

Carly: yea I wanna cos I like you y are u 😤😠 @ me for it today?

Moses: I’m busy

Carly: sorry ill 👋💙 til youre less 🌺🐝🍯

Moses: [just don’t respond rudely]

Carly: [he’s a charmer, go have your own fun girl either with Ali or with Drew and Caleb or all of the above, you’ll be posting about it making him mad but not to make him mad, not even for his benefit really cos we’re trying to be chill about this and keep busy too]

Moses: [when you always do the wrong thing, god bless girl, love that for you]

Carly: [hope you’re FUMING sir, couldn’t be more deserved]

Moses: [setting up the lovely atmosphere for this party nicely mwahaha]

Carly: [poor Ronan, between Moses and Johnny that’s half these lads that don’t wanna be at his bday]

Moses: [I imagine this is standard, someone’s always got beef with someone, you just don’t know why until Moses just tells you he’s bored of Carly and throws her at you]

Carly: [clearly these boys are always kicking off at each other about something the way these type will]

Moses: [mhmm, god bless the mess, constant source of drama]

Moses: [anyway, hi groupchat at Ronan’s party, here we go]

Moses: Birthday boy, where are you 🎁

Ronan: [Wherever he is], me and Ali… 

Ronan: should I be legging it from this 🎁 of yours?

Moses: Best get rid of her, you’ll like it but you won’t want the audience 

Ronan: Do I even like the sound of it? 

Moses: Come on, you can’t be a baby about it now, big man

Ronan: Ah, what’s going on, to be sure I don’t know what you’re giving a lash here

Moses: Presents are meant to be surprises, play the game

Ronan: Yeah, true enough, I’ll play

Moses: Go on over to my trailer, everyone’s been booted ‘cept 1

Ronan: [when he is just gonna go because bless this boy he’s a bit slow on the uptake here]

Moses: [me like God I hope you went alone]

Ronan: [I feel like he would’ve because he was told to, oh boy I’m so soz that this is occurring, like you could say no, Carly isn’t gonna force you THAT hard but still]

Moses: [you know if you walked out immediately that he’d know/Lord knows who else would know you hadn’t done it and this is peer pressure as we can all see here]

Moses: You’re welcome, brother

Ronan: [also he wouldn’t wanna reject Carly like that cos they are friends and she was his first kiss when they were younger as Carly said so walking out immediately like ew no would be brutal, and yeah, the peer pressure and pisstaking would feel worse and last longer than just getting this over with from his POV]

Ronan: Thanks a million, Mosey boy

Carly: no need to say it to me too & make yourself 😳

Moses: As you can see, you’ve done us a massive favour too 👌👌

Carly: wow 😍🥰😘

Carly: thanks I get from u there boy

Moses: You got yours 

Carly: yea, your brother is glad of my massive favours idk how hes been raised better than you 😅

Moses: Give him chance to go get something better, he’s had five minutes 🍒

Ronan: Come on, give over will yous 

Carly: im sorry ro, mosey has no party spirit idk where hes left it like

Moses: Don’t be speaking for me

Moses: You enjoy your party, kid

Carly: ❤️😶💙 then you can stop being after falling out w me both of yous

Ronan: I’m not, Carls

Moses: There you go

Carly: there I go, yea 🥳🎀🎊✨🎉🎆🎇

Moses: s’good thing you’re not kept around for your brain

Carly: whats the damage w yours?

Moses: How off her face was you mam whilst you were inside her, it’s genuinely not possible to be this thick and not a little special with it, Christ

Carly: go & ask her as youre on one to ruin the party so bad

Moses: I’d sooner pluck my eyes out than talk to that woman

Carly: 🙄 & you tell me I lay it on thick

Moses: If anyone at this party liked either of yous, they’d send you both home

Ronan: Quit this carry on, can’t yous both? As a favour to me

Carly: do you want me away home, ro? 

Ronan: You’re grand where you are, but what’s the need to be giving it out & slagging each other, eh?

Carly: I’m sorry for proper, its your bday & this is - craic

Moses: Because she is one, and that’s the only reason she’s ever been tolerated anywhere

Moses: I’m not here to play pretend but you use her ‘til it’s boring, that was the 🎁

Bartley: [Private to Carly after this group chat of delight]

Bartley: Did you go home?

Carly: go on & tell me yourself too I was waiting for it

Bartley: was just going to tell you I saw them driving off in [one of the older lad]’s van

Bartley: so, you don’t have to, if you don’t want

Carly: whats to stay for ive been opened thats all any of yous want

Bartley: Not everyone, don’t be such a bighead about it, like

Carly: johno dont count & its everyone but that lad

Bartley: not everyone was in that group chat and not everyone wants to ride you

Carly: k there I am told again

Bartley: God, I’m just trying to help

Carly: why

Bartley: That was pretty embarrassing

Carly: you know ive no shame, I’ll be grand

Bartley: It’s not optional, you always say it like it is

Carly: wasnt optional for a girl like me to have none, what they say

Bartley: my point exactly

Bartley: Anyway, Ronan did say you could stay, even if he didn’t stand up for you

Carly: yea, what I’ve no got in shame I make up for in other shit

Bartley: I don’t want to hear about it

Carly: sure, you didn’t open your mouth neither

Bartley: and say what?

Bartley: You did do it, he’s the one you did it with, it should be him if it’s anyone

Carly: sure look idk youre here saying u wanna help me now when it dont matter

Bartley: I was just telling you you didn’t have to go hide and cry

Carly: you would say that

Bartley: what are you on about?

Carly: your go next, we can do it rn if you want

Bartley: I told you not everyone wants you, shut up

Bartley: sure, isn’t Ro your boyfriend now

Carly: come on, none of yous can be my bf even if he was after it being like that & hes not

Bartley: That doesn’t mean you have to act out like that

Carly: everyones forgot w how theyre acting but its a party 🥳🎀🎊✨🎉🎆🎇

Bartley: and you’re not a gift

Carly: youre not opening me, youve said

Bartley: Why would you let them do that

Carly: its his bday

Carly: ali not dont mean he should stay 🍒 if he dont want

Bartley: so you just, be what he says you are, that’s your grand scheme to get out of feeling a giant eejit over it all

Carly: I’m not sorry unless ro wants me to be & says it

Carly: i was his first kiss why shouldnt i be his first for this too

Bartley: ‘cos you didn’t want him to be your first, he’s not as stupid as he looks

Carly: nor am I but ali dont want him to be hers

Carly: he couldve waited it werent like I held him down, how am I to when hes least twice the size of me?

Carly: but no, wes friends so he did it, best me over some random girl moses decides instead

Bartley: How, how’s it better it’s you?

Bartley: It’s been how long and you’re already moving on, trying to, why would anyone want it to be you when you’re like that

Carly: he trusts me, no need for you to bother yourself with doing

Carly: that lad knows I’ll never say nothing about what we did or didnt do, he can say what he likes & be the big man for it or whoever else he’s after people reckoning he is

Bartley: ‘Cept it weren’t your decision, Moses told you to do it and then told everyone the exact time and location it happened so

Bartley: already proved not true but why would you take any responsibility for that when you can just blame him

Carly: I wouldntve done it only on his say

Carly: I did it cos I like ro how I told you before I like all of yous

Bartley: You act stupid so blame can go the same way as shame

Carly: blame for what? whatve I done so wrong

Bartley: Just let Moses treat Ro like a little bitch, for tonight

Bartley: it is meant to be a party, haven’t got the rest to write you a list

Carly: I cant get between ro & mosey, none of yous

Carly: idk what would happen to me but itd be no party

Bartley: Aren’t you though?

Carly: how

Bartley: Come on

Bartley: you’ve literally got under them both, how’d you work out that’s a safe and good idea then?

Carly: Moses is done w me & now I’m not safe

Carly: the good ideas to give ro what he wants for his bday hes a decent lad

Bartley: He was never gonna keep you safe

Carly: he said he would, travellers keep to their word, no?

Bartley: sure and what reason would he have to lie

Bartley: A ‘nice’ stereotype is still just that, like sure all black lads LOVE how you’re obsessed with what’s going on in their pants

Carly: sure I know one who does but hey

Carly: you rub your salt in boy idc it already hurts

Bartley: I’m just being honest

Carly: & I was being stupid, no need to worry yourself with the telling of me

Bartley: Someone should

Carly: everyone is, its enough to knock a girl 🤢🤮

Bartley: but not enough to make a girl listen, like

Carly: I can hear you loud & clear

Bartley: hearing ain’t always hearing though

Carly: I’m sorry I’m not a good traveller girl how you & johno wish

Carly: or a gorja girl who’ll go away

Bartley: trust me, no one wants you to be one of us

Bartley: least of all him

Bartley: Just don’t be a bad person, not much to ask of anyone, surely

Carly: I didnt know I was a bad person until yous all started saying

Bartley: I never said you was the only one I know

Carly: least however alone I feel tonight im sure in good company there now

Bartley: Come on now

Bartley: sites full

Carly: but I wasnt supposed to join em even if I couldnt for proper beat em, not for the crime of liking people

Bartley: Have you ever had a friend? You know this isn’t what you do with them, yeah

Carly: theres no sense in that youre to have fun w your friends, make them 😁

Carly: give em gifts on their bday

Bartley: Friends do not fuck

Carly: fwb has it there 1st letter

Bartley: This isn’t America, or a romcom

Carly: k he isnt my friend, you 😁?

Bartley: He is though

Carly: yea

Carly: what am I to say? I was trying to help him

Bartley: right…

Carly: you think I’m full of it, I know, like

Bartley: He wasn’t about to die

Carly: it didnt feel life or death before moses started his gobbing off, it was just a fuck

Carly: havent you done it?

Bartley: I don’t put my business about like that for a reason

Carly: I’m not gonna shout it about to nobody, no friends to if you dont believe us for no other reason

Bartley: Why would I tell you, or anyone?

Bartley: it’s meant to be private, my point

Carly: I’d keep it private, mine 😶💚

Carly: but I’m only asking to ask if you loved every girl you did it with

Bartley: Why, you think that’s impossible?

Carly: no but you’d be the 1st Ive met

Carly: Id have to get you a present, something proper good not me offered up again

Bartley: not going to convince me but a good attempt there

Carly: if you dont want it i dont, I said, I’m not forcing nobody

Bartley: Okay, okay

Bartley: I didn’t accuse you of nothing proper

Carly: still loads of time, have your fun bb

Bartley: Quit your crying yet?

Carly: my business & youd hate me to put it about

Bartley: Ha ha, funny girl

Carly: 🤡

Bartley: You don’t look that shocking

Carly: u cant see how I look 👀🩸❤️

Bartley: true enough

Bartley: Hope you can wash your face wherever you’re hiding

Carly: idc everyone knows I’m 👿💔

Bartley: Oh right

Bartley: sympathy drinks

Carly: I might or I might b off home when I can see

Bartley: not got far to go

Bartley: nor no motor to be driving into anything

Carly: 🌳🚗 s’bit much unless ronan hates me as much himself

Bartley: Of course he doesn’t, calm down

Carly: then I’ll live to be whoring another day

Bartley: Least whores get paid, think on

Carly: i get paid in 😍🥰😘 catch yourself on

Bartley: is it now?

Carly: can’t tell you its private

Bartley: Group chat will have to find something else to be about

Carly: yea, if youve ideas 👂💚

Bartley: Someone’ll do something worse before night is over, no worries

Carly: id feel bad 🙏 

Carly: for loads of reasons, before you get in there to say it about us 1st

Bartley: I was 😶

Bartley: Your guilty conscience, obviously

Carly: 😶 myself on the state of any part of me

Bartley: What’ve you done?

Carly: I’m grand

Bartley: Definitely not

Carly: grand enough for home

Bartley: Are you going to make your ma go with?

Carly: k not that grand, sorry

Bartley: Fine, your pal then, where’s she?

Carly: idk

Bartley: I can find herr

Carly: ro probably has again let em be

Bartley: He should be looking for you

Carly: how you 👀🌎💭 is cute, boy

Bartley: Whatever, I’ll tell him you’re crying and he’ll feel bad

Carly: ah dont you be doing it, hes not to feel bad

Bartley: Why not?

Carly: he isnt in the wrong

Bartley: I’ve already told you that’s you

Bartley: but idk why I bother

Carly: yea then y would you be after making him feel bad

Bartley: I’m not but he’d come find you if he did, idiot

Carly: idc i dont want him to like

Bartley: you was after letting him inside you and now you can’t talk to him?

Carly: & say what?

Bartley: Assumedly he’s going to have some shit to say, if you’re in the state you said you were

Carly: he can when Im in less of one if hes bothered

Carly: its not what tonight is about

Bartley: fucking suit yourself then

Carly: quit having sense, I’m not used to it from you 😵‍💫

Bartley: Ha

Bartley: so who’s gonna believe you

Carly: nobody never

Bartley: Charming

Carly: sorry, I meant cos of it coming from me

Bartley: Ah, well, ‘course

Carly: 😶💚

Bartley: That’d be the day, like

Carly: u talked to me im never starting it

Bartley: so

Bartley: I just wanted to take the piss, who wouldn’t after that group chat

Carly: k 💚

Bartley: Shut it

Carly: more like it

Bartley: You take everything too far

Carly: where else am I to take it for a party? 

Bartley: It’s Ronan’s 12th, it’s not [a more dramatic and special event, idk but you know the vibe lol]

Carly: summers almost over

Bartley: and you’re back to school, little girl

Carly: sure, you’re no older than us 👶

Bartley: Old enough not to bother with that, and I am, a bit

Carly: old enough not to make the most 🌞🌚 has u acting up like youre some old fella down the pub 🍻😅

Bartley: just ‘cos you’re upset Mosey would rather be there than with you

Carly: more if u dont have the knowing life’s magic

Bartley: It ain’t, yours especially isn’t

Carly: 👴🍺🚬

Bartley: You think you’re amazing

Bartley: any of them have 10x the sense you have

Carly: sure look, I know what you think

Bartley: You reckon

Carly: u tell us your opinion of me every time we talk

Bartley: I ain’t allowed to have one, is it?

Carly: just idk why youve to keep on @ me w it

Bartley: stop being so dumb and I won’t have to, girl

Carly: stop troubling yourself about me

Bartley: I don’t

Bartley: not all of us think acting like we don’t care about anything will make us cool and everyone will want us around

Carly: care about things, but u know I’m not worth being one

Bartley: yep

Carly: k well later 💚

Ali: [Private at Carly]

Ali: Where is he

Carly: ro? idk I 💭 he was w you

Ali: No, Moses, I’ve been looking all over

Carly: off in [that lad’s]s van

Carly: he had his fun @ this party

Ali: Fucking pussy

Ali: Jesus

Ali: how are you, I’m sorry, that’s what I should have been asking first

Carly: he’ll be after staying out of johno’s way when he hears

Carly: ah sure ive had my fun too im home 

Ali: He must not have his phone on him, I only just found mine and it’s near 💀 as per

Ali: Do you want to be alone? 

Carly: charge your phone if you want but the bday boy shouldnt be

Ali: He’s not, despite his absolute cunt of a brother bailing, there’s still loads of people here

Carly: youre his fave though you cant be taking yourself off too

Ali: You’re important too, and no I’m not, he likes you too

Ali: are you okay?

Carly: ive only now quit my 😢😭 youll have us going again if youre nice to me

Ali: That’s why I was going to deal with him instead but he’s run away

Ali: I can’t be mean to you

Carly: leave it to johno I cant let you get hurt cos of me & moses

Carly: youre too important yourself

Ali: I won’t get hurt, don’t worry

Carly: no I am, I know what hes like

Ali: Okay, I won’t go find him

Ali: but he’s an absolute disgrace

Carly: you’re not to go near him, promise

Ali: I promise, entirely for your sake, not mine and definitely not his

Carly: I can’t 💭 about it rn i’ll 🤢🤮 again too

Ali: No, don’t, it’s not worth it

Ali: nothing is going to be made sense of now

Carly: ive no sense

Ali: It was just cruel

Carly: I knew it was coming him being done w me idk why I listened to him about this

Carly: to my way of thinking it was a decent 🎁 for the boy before they all got in my head for it

Ali: Do you want me to check on Ro

Ali: without him knowing I am, obviously

Carly: yea maybe idk

Carly: I didnt force him but moses & the to be a big man of it all was to get in his head too

Ali: Who would do that to their brother, it’s so wrong

Carly: he only cares for himself

Carly: but Im almost as bad

Ali: Come now

Ali: no you’re not, you didn’t force him, of course you didn’t

Ali: Moses manipulated you into thinking it was a good idea though

Carly: we said he werent ready to do it, I knew that & i went for it still

Ali: but was he?

Carly: he did but I take everything too far hows he to tell me no

Ali: I’m gonna talk to him, okay

Ali: and I bet he’ll say it was alright

Carly: he would say that hes not after hurting me

Ali: I can get to the truth though

Carly: its your magic

Ali: It will be okay

Ali: I’ll talk to him and I’ll make sure it is

Ali: and I’ll make sure Johnny beats him up super hard for everyone, yeah

Carly: theyll kill each other

Carly: & ill have to lay myself proper low

Ali: it’s clear whose idea it was, neither of them can act the fool on that

Ali: Moses was too drunk or too thick to think that one through when he was running his mouth

Carly: too proud of himself

Carly: but Johno already hated me before this idk whats to happen

Ali: Just stay home

Ali: I’m going to find one of them, eventually

Carly: k 💛

Ali: Trust me?

Carly: yea

Carly: if friends dont fuck youre my only one

Ali: who said that one?

Carly: 1 guess

Carly: who always needs his say about me 

Ali: Oh Bart…

Ali: he knows it’s less than nothing to do with him

Carly: he was almost nice to me though 😵‍💫

Ali: He only pretends nasty sometimes, usually he just misses the mark with the joke though

Ali: I’m glad someone is being nice

Carly: he might find you, I said no but he dont listen the best to nobody & not to me ever, sorry

Ali: he can help me look

Ali: he’s not being avoided as hard as I am

Carly: what a party, like

Ali: Boys, right 🙄

Carly: 👶😭

Ali: I’ll come see you later, check in

Carly: if you see [her mum] avoid bringing her with, I can’t tonight

Ali: 👻 promise

Carly: 💛👼💙

[xx-neon]

june 12th

hi 

i wanted to start writing because i feel like itll help me in some way, ive never really said anything i think or feel. i never really say anything at all. 

if for some reason someone who isnt me reads this im sorry. itll be a lot of word vomit and just generally unpleasant so maybe dont read all of it lol. im going to try and not use lol beacuse i do that to lighten the mood.

anyway.

yesterday before i went to work i had this really strange feeling. it was this weird sense of nothingness and everything? i feel like thats how people feel before they die. like a weird calmness. i felt comfortable and okay with everything. so i felt nothing really when i googled if hanging yourself hurts, i have a rope and everything but i just wanted to make sure i wouldnt feel any more pain. in my head i thought it would be kinda like a slap to the face if i wanted to kill myself because of the pain and then the last thing i feel is pain ha. 

anyway. i got really annoyed when all the results were for the suicide helpline. numbers to call, resources, texting lines everything. i just wanted to know. but then i gave up. as usual. 

all day yesterday i was just planning on when id do it. i wanted to pick a good day. i remembered that i have to clean my apartment first, make sure my cat is fed, but then my friends birthday is coming up and i wanted to wish them a happy birthday, and i had plans to hang out with my friend, and then after that i had plans to hang out with another of my friends. i realized maybe im too busy to die and i really didn't want to disappoint anyone. so i just gave up on that thought. (i did see my friends i was supposed to see yesterday, and this guy bought my food and drinks which has never happened before which was really nice) 

idk how i got here honestly. ive tried suicide before but obviously im writing so that didnt work. but before was different. i just went for it. i didnt think about it. i didnt plan anything i just went 1,2,3 go. i mean, i know how i got here. myself. if i wasnt such a fucking people pleaser maybe I'd have enough balls to be in a better place. 

my ex and i officially broke up last week, and thats kinda where it all started. i know it sounds stereotypical but i dont want to die because of the breakup but because of the feelings that came after it. i really wanted to break up. it was my idea in the beginning. but it took him forever to just say “yeah i dont have any feelings so this is it”. it was like my ego took a flip. ive actually have never had someone say that to me. that sounds really uppity i know. but its true. in my head i thought “after all i did for you thats how you end it?”. and i really ruined my life for this guy. i quit my old job i did hate it tho, moved away from my friends and family, he got into an accident so i used all my money to take care of him and had to take off work, drove him everywhere bc he couldnt drive, etc. and what did i get in return? he cheated on me twice, treated me like shit, slammed a door in my face so hard it broke my glasses, tried to hit me. the relationship was so bad all im left with is alcoholism and an eating disorder. so honestly, good riddance. 

he left me in a really, really bad place. i have to figure out where to live now since he just up and left. i dont have enough money to live on my own anymore. tbh i dont even want to write about it since it stresses me out so much. so i wont. ive just been drinking and going out to distract myself. not from him but like i said, the feelings that came after it. i want revenge, i want peace, i want him to apologize, i want him to never do this to anyone, and i just want to die. i dont have people to talk to about this stuff, i do but, i dont want to seem like an angry ex. i just want people to see the hurt that ive been through. i just want someone to tell me its going to be okay. that what i feel is normal. that people go through this all the time. i just want comfort. 

im sure if i actually told anyone about this theyd be like “but you have me!! you have your family!! you have people who care about you!!”. and yeah i do. but when youre so far down a hole, you dont see the light at the top, just darkness. and probably dirt lol. 

i cried for the first time today. since all of this happened i havent cried at all. my chest has been hurting so much since ive been holding it in. but the reason i started crying was kinda dumb. one of my old friends found me and reached out. he wanted to see how i was doing and what ive been up to. what was i supposed to say? “hey ive been horrible! just planning my suicide and and stuff ya know” but of course i couldnt say that so i just said ive been good. we caught up for a bit and thats when he said hes getting over a breakup that messed him up. so i took the bait and said yeah me too. he just said if you ever want to talk you can always call or text. so i just said thank you it means a lot and that things can only get better i guess. and idk why but thats when i started crying. he said 

“theres so much good to come” 

its so dumb but i felt like those words were just a giant warm blanket. especially with the head space that im in. obviously i could hear that from anyone. but hearing it from someone i haven't talked to in like 4 years meant so much more.

there are so many people who care about me. ive just been stuck dealing with my ex and only caring about what he had to think or feel. he never really cared about me like these people do. theyre concerned about me. they tell me to eat, they tell me theyre worried about my drinking, they dont want me to be out alone, they want to make sure im okay. 

so fuck my ex. fuck him and anyone who thinks hes a good person. hes such a manipulative piece of shit. no one really knows what ive been through. no one knows how hes left me. no one knows about the cheating. no one knows about the abuse. they know nothing. im sure hes talked about me. im sure hes told them how i have a hard time showing feelings. im sure hes told them.. i dont even know. hes probably pulled something out of his ass. and they probably feel so bad for him. i hope they do. and i hope one day they feel just as stupid as i do. 

i just had to get my anger out. 

but my friend is right i think. maybe there is good to come. ive decided to stick around to find out. 

[koneko-3]

Chapter 2 of "Light"

I stood frozen, looking at the room containing the unimaginable. Blood was spilled all across the floor with both of them left with no life in their eyes. The only thing I could do was run. Run as fast as I could because they could be looking to get me next. Who? I didn't know. All I knew right now was my life was on the line. I bumped into somebody. I looked at them and there I couldn't believe who it was. It was that boy from earlier. I forgot what his name was already. "Are you okay?" He asked while lending out a hand to help me up. "I'm not even too sure..." "Wait, your that girl that helped me this morning. Ryuka right?" "Yeah..." he was dressed differently than his school uniform. "Im looking for something if your wondering. I don't think you could help in anyway. But why were you running?" I didn't respond but started crying. I couldnt stop myself. I cried so much that I passed out.

I woke up in a place I wasnt familiar with. I was lying in a small bed right next to a nightstand. On top of the night stand was a lamp and a stack of clothing. I got up and tried to investigate the room I was in. I heard a knock on the door. There the boy from earlier came in. "So, I have some news..." I sat on the bed. "Where am i?" I asked. "This is my house. You're in my guest room at the moment. I brought you here since you passed out. You kinda scared me." I stayed quiet. I didn't want to say anything. "So I'm guessing you were running from a crime scene?" "Yeah..." "They were family, werent they?" I nodded. "I'm sorry. You can stay here for as long as you want. But you cant go home right now." He sounded pretty serious. He didn't seem like the same person I've met before. "Why do you want to help me?" "Because, I'm a detective." He said confidently. "I'll leave you be for now but if you need anything my father or me can assist you. Also I put a set of clothing you can use. It was my mother's old clothes." He said pointing at the stack of the clothes on the nightstand. After he left there was one thought in my head. He's actually kinda cute. I liked this side of him. Besides that, I pulled out my phone and called the person I trusted. Tsukuba. I rang but she never picked up. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I did the only thing I could do. Sleep.

I went to school the next day. Everyone seemed so cheery, meanwhile there was me. I didn't speak in class and Setsuna tried to talk to me but I ignored her. I wanted nothing to do with anyone. Remember his name now. Ryu. I went back to his house and I just sat in the room I was in before. I stared at the wall. I only thought to myself, what would have happened if I stayed or even if I never went to school. I knew I couldn't cry anymore. But I was curious now. Who did this to me? Who hurt me this way and why?

Ryu opened the door. "Your here Harakawa-san, I didnt expect you to be here. But I need you to come with me. I need to ask you questions." He said sternly. Questions? What kind of questions?

At the police station, there where four men. One of them being Ryu. They asked me questions regarding my aunt and gram gram. I answered them to the best of my ability. I wanted to cry. I missed them so much. My only family left, taken away from me. I asked when I would be allowed to go back and the only response I got was, "Eventually." Ryu introduced me to his father that happened to be one of the three other guys. He seemed kind at least. I went back to my temporary home and slept.

I woke the next morning with the text from Tsukuba saying "Hey r u ok?" I didn't respond. She started spam calling my phone but I ignored every single one of them. She sent another message saying "I thought we were gonna hang yesterday. But u never showed." I ignored it. I went to school again today. Setsuna finally got on my nerves as she was annoying me with tapping her nails on my desk. "What do you want?" I asked. "Since yesterday, you haven't seemed like how you were acting on the first day. I wanted to cheer you up!" She shouted. "What's the point... there's nothing you can do." "What's wrong?" Ryu was standing behind us. "I can tell you, just leave her be for now." He said. "Okay?" She said. He told her and she looked at me with shock. I think she understood now. Setsuna left me alone for the rest of the day. I was stopped by Ryu before I could go back to his house. "What do you want?" "I wanted to do something for you." Was he asking me to go on a date or something? That felt weird as he said it but I was curious. "What did you want to do?" I asked. "Follow me." I did as he said. He took me to this dinner. Inside there was two familiar faces. Setsuna and her friend I think was Margie? I sat down at the booth next to Setsuna. All of them were giving me concerning faces like they were worried about me. "Ryuka, I want you to know the three of us are here for you, no matter what happens. We all know about what happened and well..." Setsuna said only to stop. "What she is trying to say is, we want you to be happy. We know right now is tough but if there's anything you want. We'll be here." Margie said with a slight smile on her face. "You know what I want? I want to find that fucker that killed my family!" I said filled with anger. Ryu looked at me. "You know, you can help me with this case." "Really? But i dont-" i was cut off by Ryu. "I know you have no experience with this, but I can teach you." He said full of confidence. Margie and Setsune chimed in, "we're gonna help too!" In that moment I felt really happy, knowing the fact people actually care about me and wanted to help.

[my-lunaberg]

Yeah just to clarify, Im qatching the no way home vod now I'll probably make this a seperate post for the sake of keeping shit more organized

*

Oh they are in prison my hearst beating so fast rn

*

Oh dear god technical difficulties

*

Bruh did they drag them to jail with fishing rods thats fucked

*

Oughhhh the fucking armor thing aaaaaaaaaaaa

*

Okay the real question is, does Dream want Tommy to die or does he still wanna keep him alive n shit

*

I knowww wI definitely need another break but its already noon and I just gotta power through this shit man

*

NOOOOOO ERYNS ARMOUR.........

*

"You broke in and killed me in my owm house" idk why but thats so funny to me. dreams house, The Prison

*

Dream smp got me rockin back and forth dude

*

Bro did Tommy keep DreamXDs bell from the cell really

*

Okay Tommys keeping his weapons, some pearls and his totems thats good

*

Ah nvm

*

NO WAIT THE DISCS ARE IN THE ENDERCHEST

*

NOOOOO

*

Oh this is so painful to watch man i feel like im gonna die

*

Oughhhhh the discs.. ...... even aftrr all this time

*

At this rate its gonna take me like 10 hours to watch this hour long stream man

*

Okay he kept cat and mellohi

*

OHHHHHH WHAZ THE FUCK WHAT THE FUKC

*

Bro look att them just watch. sickos

*

Oh yeah baey its monologuin time

*

What if its just the snake monologue. like word for word

*

Maybe thats just me but "I dont have anything to say to you" from Tommy followed by a long ass pause and then "I have a lot to say to you" from Drea has the same kinda vibes as "I dont think about you at all" from Wilburs fanfic

*

"I hadnt bothered you for months!! I just left you with lifelong trauma!!"

*

"Bro, I was too busy trying to ruin the lives of these other guys to even try gaslighting you again!!"

*

Im trying to discern if Dream actually believes the bullshit hes saying or if this is another manipulation attempt rn this is so fascinating

*

Oh boy philosophical discussion about death time

*

Ok nvm i think

*

Cmon white boi tell me about the meaning of life

*

Dream is basically like "oh why does this stupid shit matter so much to you when theres immortality and life after death" and its like okay, but why would you wanna live forever if you cant even enjoy yourself though. Like, what are you doing this for if not so you can go hang out with your friends in peace and have fun forever

*

Bro Dreams actually the kinda guy who goes "well, why shouldnt i be god" without a hint of irony

*

Dream is about to actually lose it man

*

Why are they all talking about death as though they have absolutely no idea what happens after you die permanently? Like, both Wilbur and Ghostbur talked about what limbo was like to anyone who listened and Dream was literally JUST dead. Like yeah, it was only for a few minutes but if the conversion is 1 day on the smp = 1 month in limbo then he mustve spent atleast a few hours if not days there right

*

What are Punz' opinions about all this does he want his boytoy to be god. is he familiar with the god that looks exactly like his boytoy

*

"while you were recovering from the lifelong trauma i gave you I was studying the meaning of life"

*

I spent the entire day yesterday just watching musical bootlegs on youtube and all i can think of rn is that part in Twisted where Aladdin is like "im gonna break the chain! youll see!! Im gonna live forever!!!"

*

Imagine pouring your fucking heart out about what you think ks the meaning of life to two teens that you kidnapped and one of them just goes "what kinda life is that" i would start crying

*

"We want a life without mystery" where is your fucking whimsy bro

*

You know, if Sam wasnt basically responsible for Dream being tortured and Dream didnt break him down as revenge, the two of them and Punz couldve been a real death defying power trio. And then i guess Tommy, Tubbo n Philza would be the death defyer-defying power trio

*

what do you MEAN not contribute anything by just walking around on the dream smp??? HOW is the Dream SMP connected to any other place??? HOW IS IT CONNECTED TO FUCKING UTAH

*

"We need to be alive together to find out what life is" youre never gonna know if you dont die though. Especially because like, theres no such thing as heaven in this world, its life and then you die and then its hell for eternity so you gotta make life heaven but the only way to truly appreviate and comprehend that the life youve made is heaven is to think about it in hell, if Im making sense here

*

I would love to watch these guys try to have this discussion with Philza that would be soooo interesting

*

HE CALLED HIM A BUG AGAINNNNNN

*

the victim complex is strong in this one

*

Ohhhhhh the bois are fightinggggggggg

*

Hey, is Dream gonna address that fact that the actual capital g god of this world looks exactly like him any time soon. because that seems relevant

*

Oh my god this kind of dehumanization of the people around him is so painfully relatable it hurts im in pain

*

Bro how is he bringing up Ranboo right after bringing up Foolish but not yknow, DREAMXD

*

Okay Im gonna b real with yall, Ive been having a pretty good time with this vod and this finale so far but now hes bringing up mind control and the stuff with Ranboo and Im not a fun uh uh absolutely not

*

Alright so, they revealed that the revival book can do mind control as well, ive read spoilers about this and i was desperatrly hoping that I just misunderstood but sighhhhhhhh, no.

This is so fucking stupid man. The revival book was a really good concept because of how simple yet effective it is and how scary it would be for someone like Dream to have it, it doesnt need any more powers or whatever. Obviously the stuff with Ranboo being controlled by Dream to some extend has been planned for a really long time, and it does make sense, but they shouldve gone about it way differently. My fix is simple: bring DreamXD into this.

Like, right now it doesnt seem like Dream and DreamXD are connected in any meaningful way when Dream couldve been like, idk a worshipper of DreamXD who eventually earned his favor, or just a human that DreamXD thought was interesting and wanted to help occasionally so he'll keep entertaining him. Maybe he gets the revival book and immediately tries to test it out and then DreamXD appears and hes basically like "okay, i wont kill anyone for you or destroy anything or get too involved in all your petty mortal squabbles, but if you call for me I'll help you out bc Im so nice XD dont rely too much on me tho or else I'll kill you XD" and Dream is like "k i'll keep that in mind" and then when Ranboo shows up he calls for him like "okay, can you make me like, a mindlink to the new guy so I can control him" and XD is like "okay, sure, I wont help you anymore though" and Dream agrees and thats that. Maybe DreamXD is even like "Im still rooting for you though XD" and then Dream could bring up the fact that god is on his side during this unhinged monologue

*

Okay, when hes saying 'other dimension' is he talking about limbo or is it like, the real world that has the Utah that Wilbur went to and everything

*

Ohhhhhhh hes talking about the End uh yeah, no way man DreamXD is gonna put a stop to your foolishness so quickly if you try to go there

*

HE WAS IN LIMBO BEFORE???

*

Okay, the fact that both of them have been to limbo really takes a certain edge away from their motivations though

Like, if they hadnt known what death was like and just feared it because it was the End of Everything that wouldve been so interesting and then Dream died and came back to tell Punz about it and how its nothing but suffering that wouldve made it feel a lot more human if that makes sense because sure, i just spent a bunch of time poetically philosophically whinging but at the end of the day I wouldnt wanna die just to spent eternity in a hell made specifically for me yknow

*

I slept 8 hours today so Im perfectly well rested as Im writing this but honestly, at this point I'd rather be sleep deprived and delirious itd make this go by way faster and make it more fun too

*

Oh my god please tell me its not gonna get meta

*

They were in the End?!??!? Bro are they gonna bring up DreamXD anytime soon

*

Im serious how are they not gonna bring up DreamXD cc!Dream knows the lore around him because he PLAYED HIM

*

Okay so I guess theyre just gonna sacrifice people to make up for them reviving each other over and over? Idk man this is barely comprehensible I feel like i might as well be delirious the only differenfe is im not having nearly as much fun rn

*

what do you MEAN "whatever god is" YOU SAW HIM WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES. HE GAVE YOU A BELL

*

I realize that Dream is like, a villain and also clearly mentally ill so Im not expecting his plan or his worldview to make any actual sense but this just seems pointless. Like, if you revive too many people or if you revive yourselves too many times it could bring about the end of the world, presumably bc ya boi XD needs souls to eat. So you need to kill people to balance shit out but if you kill people, its gonna paint a massive target on your back and people will want to force you to revive people. So, you really cant revive people then right

*

Oh good god what now

*

Not the guy who was in limbo for maybe a day trying to lecture the guy who qas in limbo for like three months 💀💀💀

*

If it wasnt for the fact that these guys just hit me with like three massive disappointments all in a row I'd say something like "oh i forgot about this but yeah, I am kinda curious as to why Tommy never came back as a ghost, like even Schlatt was there for a day atleast" but my spirit has been crushed and so all im hoping for is that the explaination isnt too stupid

*

"We know the responsibility that comes with the revival book! Thats why we kept reviving people even after we knew it was slowly destroying the world!!" Its giving oil companies talking abt climate change yknow what i mean

*

"The worlds fucked up, we fucked up" BRO. STOP FUCKING REVIVING PEOPLE IT CANT BE THAT HARD

*

Okay, the stuff about limbo changing based on the circumstances of your death is pretty interesting hopefully they wont fuck it up

*

Ohhhhh I think I can see where this is going one of these guys is gonna have to die for their buddy isnt he

*

Okay, im at 27:51 in the vod Ive been at this for atleast two hours Im gonna go take a walk again

*

Alrighty then time to watch these bozos torment these boys

*

Bro the dehumanization right off the bat man

*

Ah so this is that Drunz Sandwich Date ive heard so much about

*

"You can warn the others about their inevitable doom that is... inevitable" he has such a way with words man

*

Something something the definition of insanity

*

Okay but Dream cant be all high and mighty about Tommy and Tubbo doing the same shit over and over because he literally does the exact same thing

*

Aarhghggh pain and suffering

*

cc!Tommy just left thats hilarious

*

Noooooooo Tubbos still in rp mode this is so funny man

*

Theyre both about to die with the lergy 😭

*

OHHHHHHH HE STILL HAS THE DISCS HE CAN USE THOSE HOLY SHIT FUCKING SET UP AND PAYOFF BABEYYYYY

*

ARGRHFHRGFGFREFSHUPEGUSGHI ONE DISC GONE 8NENDISCS GONE

*

Okay now what. both of the discs are gone now and they didnt hit the pressure plate. I dont think that was planned.

*

Oh I cant believe this this is so awkward man

*

NO HE FAILED AGAIN BRUHHHHH

*

Oh man

*

Okay theyre just carrying on time to jump through the hole

*

TUBBOS DEAD???

*

okay i dont think that was planned either lmao why did they think this was a good idea to do on stream

*

HES BLOWING SHIT UP????

*

👁👁 project dreamcatcher??

*

Right now the thing is, ive read spoilers so i roughly know how all of this is gonna end, I just dont know how we're getting from this exact point to that ending yknow what i mean

*

Theyre gonna nuke them arent they

*

NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM NUKE HIM

*

This is so upsetting man

*

TUBBO WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE THE NUKE??? i mean, atleast they remembered that plotpoint

*

YEAHHHHHHH SEND THOSE BASTARDS TO HELL BABEYYYYYYY

*

Ohhhhh Tommys gonna use himself as bait

*

The only way to destroy gods is to nuke them

*

THEY DONT HAVE A SCHEDULE, THEYRE GODS

*

Dude, the Dream SMP as a post post apocalyptic world though

*

Lets fucking nuke that sonofabitch!!

*

NUKE TIMEEEEEEEEE

*

the bench,,......

*

Okay so theyre gonna kill Dream and Punz and then everyone will be free from them and the revival book but like, what about their ghosts though. I mean, those presumably wont be able to revive anyone but they could still like, harass everyone n shit

*

Okay but why would no one believe them about Punz being evil now, doesnt he have a reputation for doing whatever for a paycheck and Dream is like, one of the richest guys on the server

*

Oughhhh watching Tommy tell Tubbo to tell everyone their stories is so painful when you know its all gonna become lost history at some point

*

Theres no music..........

*

Okay Im not gonna watch this again from Tubbos pov

[abittersweetsongforyou]

hey i don't know how often you're here anymore but i saw you on caitlins blog yesterday so hihi. i wanted to ask you bc you spoke about it before but do you have any tips on getting more comfortable with being inexperienced? i'm 24 and i've only had one kiss ever, it was so awkward and he was quite drunk so it wasn't like a good kiss anyway but it made me too scared to even try again. i feel like i am missing out on meeting people and having things i want but i find it so embarassing

hello my love!!! yeah being inexperienced in your twenties is super anxiety inducing im always a bit scared too. i dont know about tips, i usually just try to keep up a mental dialogue with myself remind myself that ultimately the fact im not out kissing anyone is a choice in a sense, like if i (or you) you really wanted to we could go out to a club and there would probably be someone who would be willing/wanting kiss us, but we're not doing that and thats okay! thats our choice and there's nothing wrong with not wanting to do that or wanting to save that for someone we're comfortable with but theres also nothing wrong with going out and making out with a stranger if thats something you want. and i remind myself that its okay if i just haven't connected with anyone, i have really bad social anxiety and i just dont want to be too intimate with someone i dont know or someone i dont trust and if or when i do find someone im comfortable with, if they care about me or love me my inexperience shouldn't matter to them and i wouldn't want to be with someone who wasn't understanding of that anyway.

in terms of being scared to try again, most of the few kisses ive had have not been good either lmao so i definitely understand how you feel and when its awkward like that it sort of makes you feel like youre doing something wrong. i think its good to acknowledge that youre not going to feel right with every person and not all experiences are going to be good and thats okay too, i know its difficult but i really just try not to put a lot of importance on it, if i want to kiss someone i can and if i dont i dont and if its a bad experience well who cares, i wanted to so i did, and if dont want to i wont and i try not to think about it too much. i know it can feel really important for it to be good and i really understand why youre scared but thats the best advice i can give is just remind yourself it doesnt matter, in the end its just a kiss, or just sex and honestly if i never did either of those things ever id be okay. if i meet someone great! but i dont feel that im missing out on something by not seeking out those things. (i hope that comes across as encouraging and not like disparaging lmao i dont mean it in a dismissive way just thats its okay to not put all this weight on intimacy because i think thats where the fear comes from).

thats just how i try to view it! even though im a hopeless romantic like i genuinely do really love love and romance and want to have a partner i just try not to let my inexperience be the thing that stops me or makes me afraid i just try to take it chill, if it happens it happens if it doesnt it doesnt and both of those things are absolutely fine xx

i hope literally any of that was helpful, i know it wasnt very articulate sjdjsasdhajks

[marioyuri]

I dont even think i have a best friend like im just me n i chill on my own most of the times n i hang out with passing people but i dont belong to any friend group and there isnt a person out there who needs me to be with them on everything they do like im nobodys best friend either im just me on my own n thats okay tbh.

[honeyycorpse]

Lost n Found (Kuzusouda fic)

   Fuyuhiko couldn't find Kazuichi that day. He was no where to be seen. Which was unusual for his boyfriend, the taller male would want to follow the other like a lost puppy most of the time, often showing up at Fuyuhiko's dorm door when he's not working in his room or the shop the school has for his talent.

   "Peko, have you seen Kaz? I haven't seen him all day and he won't answer my texts." Fuyuhiko had almost startled Peko mid practice with the question. He had been sitting watching his sibling as they trained but hadn't brought up his reasoning to be around Peko so much that day. Peko knew he had a lot on his mind though.

   The silver haired one set down their bamboo sword, "My apologizes but I have not. Have you asked Ibuki or maybe Leon from the 78th class?" Fuyuhiko shook his head.

   "I'll go find them and maybe ask around on the way, thanks Peko." Peko nodded, "Just keep me updated."

   Fuyuhiko passed by many in the hallways on his way to where Ibuki usually would hang around. The hall monitor with crimson eyes, a short female with blonde hair along side a taller female being a shy stutter bug as usual, even the robot and his detective boyfriend but none would be Kazuichi.

   Entering the dimly light music room, the Yakuza already knew Ibuki was in here from the sound of her odd music filling his ears. He saw a swift figure on the stage and another still frame sitting in a chair in front of the bold stage. Fuyuhiko flicked on the lights to illuminate the rest of the music room.

   "AH! Who turned on the sun!" The music's cut was unpleasant and there was a sight of Ibuki rubbed their eyes with the palms of her hand. The other female was Miu Iruma who, coincidently, was another one of Kazuichi's friends. She also rubbed her eyes to adjust to the sudden burst of light.

   "My bad, I just came to ask a quick question." Fuyuhiko didn't plan on staying long as he leaned against the door frame.

   "Ooohhh Mr. Yakuza coming to ask a question! Well spill away virgin!" Miu's mascara was smudged due to her frequent eye rubbing, and if it wasnt for the comment, Fuyuhiko would have actually told her.

   "Have either of you seen Kazuichi at all today? I haven't been able to find him."

   Ibuki put a finger to her chin to insinuate they were thinking, "Oh- Ibuki is sorry! They haven't seen Kazuichi since dinner yesterday!"

   Miu also tried giving it a thought, Fuyuhiko had no faith she knew something until she said, "Nah I haven't seen the twerp today but I saw him talking to Leon yesterday before the nighttime announcement. Don't know what they were talking about or if you knew."

   Fuyuhiko didn't know, but It's almost confirmed now Leon had been the last to see Kazuichi. The Yakuza gave Kazuichi a goodnight kiss a little after dinner because he was going to bed early. Fuyuhiko thanked the two and turned back off the lights. He knew he needed to find Leon soon.

   The blonde first peered outside a window from the second floor at a good spot to where Leon would be practicing baseball. To no avail, Fuyuhiko instead tried to remember people other than Kazuichi, Leon surrounds himself with. He sooned realized the hall monitor he saw earlier was seen around Leon sometimes. Fuyuhiko rushed back down to the first floor to find the man, he quickly sped walked throughout the hallways, peeking into classrooms to make sure he wasn't in any. Turning the corner sharply, he began to pick up his pace, he didn't know when his heart began to race but his thoughts were soon torn from him as he heard a loud,

   "Slow down!! You cannot run in the halls!!"

   Fuyuhiko stopped instantly and whipped around and was faced to face with the who he was looking for at the time, Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

   "I was looking for you that's why!"

   "You ran in the halls to come find me? You could have done the same thing without running!" Kiyotaka shot.

   The Yakuza rolled his eyes, "Whatever, have you seen Leon? I need to talk to him."

   Kiyotaka tapped his foot, he obviously knew something, "This will not turn into a fight will it? I will not inform you about Leon's whereabouts if you're out to get physical!"

   Fuyuhiko was getting frustrated already with the taller man, as he always did, "No you idiot! I'm just trying to find my fucking boyfriend!"

   "Kazuichi? The one with the garish outfits?!"

   "Yeah that would be him." Fuyuhiko huffed. Taka let out a big laugh as he always does, "Ah! You should have just said so! Leon is with chihiro in the greenhouse! Chihiro may not be there anymore though.." Fuyuhiko let out a sigh of relief and mumbled a slight thank you. Before Kiyotaka could say anything, the blonde bolted up the stairs as fast as he could.

   He didn't notice how much he had started to worry about Kazuichi, even though it wasn't like him to go a whole day without talking or even seeing Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi has disappeared a couple times after being mad at his boyfriend. Though, Fuyuhiko couldn't recall him ever doing anything to piss off or upset the pink haired man recently. Maybe Kazuichi was instead having a bad day, wanting to be left alone and deal with whatever it was by himself. That wasn't uncommon for him either.

   What broke Fuyuhiko out of his thoughts this time was a tap on his shoulder. He hadn't even made it into the greenhouse so the sight of Leon Kuwata was a surprise as he turned around.

   Leon rubbed the back of his neck, "Man I knew you'd come looking for me. Can't find Kazuichi can you?"

   "Don't make it sound so fucking ominous! Just tell me where he is!" Fuyuhiko barked, clamping his fists shut.

   Leon took a step back, "Wow chill man! He's in the greenhouse but he told me to guard it for him so no one will go in to bother him,, but he doesn't seem too good so if he gets pissed you got in just tell him to blame it on me." Leon shuffled over to unlock the doors to the greenhouse, "He really needs you, man. Even if he doesn't admit it."

   Fuyuhiko took a peek inside the greenhouse and looked back towards Leon, "Thanks." Leon nodded and shut the door behind the blonde.

   The Yakuza didn't see anyone at first but as he began turned the corner of the giant plants stationed in the middle of the greenhouse, he heard a small sniffle. He stopped, and peer around the corner and there he was. Kazuichi Souda.

   Leon was right when he said Kazuichi didn't seem too good. Kazuichi's back was facing where Fuyuhiko stood, but the sight was just....sad. His beanie was across from him, assumed to be thrown with how disheveled it looked, his slouch from sitting on the floor was worse than usual, his hair seemed unkempt and tattered, not even his jumpsuit was tied in the front like he would always do when he was too hot, it was instead displayed across the cold floor. The most noticeable feature of disarray from Kazuichi, was the small sobs and whimpers that left him. Fuyuhiko knew he couldn't leave Kazuichi alone like this.

   "Kaz?" Fuyuhiko's voice was calm and quiet but Kazuichi still jumped and whipped around. Kazuichi didn't even get to respond as a hoard of tears streamed down his face and he ran to hug Fuyuhiko. The vaster sobbed into his boyfriend's shoulder. Fuyuhiko wrapped his arms around Kazuichi and began to rub his back, trying to calm him with light "Shh"s and "It's okay"s.

   The blonde was able to set Kazuichi in his lap, on the rough floor once again as his lover began to calm down. Fuyuhiko tried his best to brush and play with Kazuichi's hair without accidentally pulling at it and disturbing the boy. He used his other hand to rub soothing circles around Kazuichi's back under his tank top.

   "You wanna talk about it?" The blonde whispered, still holding Kazuichi close to him. Fuyuhiko saw the tears fall from Kazuichi's eyes as he blinked tears away, he waited for a response with patience.

   He soon felt the pink haired boy shift and sit up, wiping his tears from his eyes and shaking his head, "Not...not right now.." He avoided eye contact with his lover.

   Fuyuhiko nodded, "Whenever you're ready to talk I'm here to listen, Babe." He placed a kiss on Kazuichi's cheek, "I love you."

   "Thank you..I love you too.."

[sapiowoman28]

Try (Chapter 9): the filler chapter?

Pairing: mark x female reader x johnny

Genre: smut, fluff, undercover au

Warning: no smut this chapter, it's kind of a filler, mentions of mark screwing up, more context to Kun's behaviour, and yay! Y/N has a female friend who's a party animal.

Johnny woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs. He got up immediately. He didn't trust Y/N to not start a fire in the kitchen.

"Hey," he hugged her from behind. He recognised the smell of her hair as that of the shampoo she used at the unit house.

"Hey babe." She turned and gave him a kiss, his eyes on the frying pan. Nothing burnt so far.

"You stayed at the unit house?"

"Yeah, Mark and his boys decided to hang there after the party. So i joined them."

"Mark talking?"

"Yes.."

"Great! I was worried you guys would stop being friends."

"Babe, nobody stays angry with me for long." Y/N bragged. Johnny giggled, holding her tighter, kissing her neck.

"Johnny, morning wood." she gigled.

"Yes...."

"I need you to have your breakfast quick. We have a call with Mina in 30 mins."

"Argh! I forgot!"

"Go shower! I want you to make a good impression."

"I always make a good impression."

"Omg did i tell you Taeyong has been talking to everyone about you? EVERY SINGLE PERSON at the party came up to me yesterday to ask me about my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend. I like the sound of that. Never get sick of hearing it." Johnny chuckled.

Mina was actually Mark's childhood friend. They met at the age of 7 in the neighbourhood playground and were inseperable since then. It was only when Mina had to pursue her degree in English Literature that she left for London to study. in many ways, their long friendship was like the one Y/N and Johnny had, though with a lot more booze, partying, fighting and generally stupid and impulsive behaviour.

Both Mark and Mina were always partying together back home and in London when he visited her. Each time they got drunk, a lot of things happened, not neccessarily good. That one time 2 years ago where he was there a month was the ultimate, and required a lot of therapy to fix both their heads, as well as 2 sets of very angry parents to placate because they really got into deep deep trouble.

Kun, who was one of the first few people Mark confided in, never let him forget that one month. Mark sometimes wondered why he told Kun anything in the first place.

Six months ago, when Mina came back to visit her parents and friends, Mark introduced her to Y/N and the two of them got on like house on fire. He almost regretted the decision instantly, when both of them ganged up on him. They were both different, yet similar, and Mina was always thankful with the therapy suggestion. She felt more measured, more grounded now.

Y/N adored Mina. She didn't always agree with the things she did. But she liked her a lot. They spoke often over video calls, sometimes even more than Mark and Mina. Mina told Y/N embarassing stories about Mark, and they both agreed he could be less of a slut, though Y/N never told her about the informants he secretly slept with.

Now, she wasn't going to tell her only female friend about the threesome either. Or what happened the night before. She wasn't so sure how Mina would react. With guy friends it was one thing. With girls, it was different. Ok, girls and Kun.

Y/N knew Kun had an irritating way of showing concern. But at the end of the day, he really cared and was only looking out for everyone. She felt bad about what happened at the unit house after the party. Neither Kun nor Lucas asked to be dragged into this. She was sure Kun was uncomfortable. Maybe she'd talk to Kun tomorrow.

Introducing Johnny went swell. He charmed the socks off Mina as she did with him. When Y/N and her started talking about make up and European fashion designers Johnny slipped off to do his own stuff.

Johnny was happy with his redefined relationship with Y/N. Five months now, and it was great. Truthfully she made him happy. He was nuts about her, and he never could stop thinking about her when they were apart. She loved him fiercely, and always had his back. He trusted her more than anyone else in his life.

He was very tempted to ask her to move in with him, but he also knew Y/N wasn't partial to the idea. She always felt a bit of space between them was what kept their passion for each other alive. That she had stopped seeing the other guys she was screwing was good enough for him.

And Mark? He seriously didn't care. It was just a physical thing. Y/N being Y/N was honest about it and he wasnt jealous one bit. Y/N had already said she was in it for the long haul with Johnny, and he knew she'd never leave.

But today, Johnny was waiting for Y/N. He saw a lovebite on her neck. It was a small one that was hardly noticeable. But it definitely was a lovebite. He was surprised she hadn't said anything. She never kept anything from him. So he wondered why she was not telling him what happened. now.

"Mina thinks you're sexy, babe." giggled Y/N after the call. She sat on his lap. Johnny grinned.

"She is wise." he said nodding his head. "How was last night?"

"Omg, Doyoung came, and Yuta and his girlfriend were fucking in the toilet, and Yuta and Jaehyun were fighting, and people were on drugs. it was a mess. and now we're getting a new guy called Jeno."

"Sounds like fun."

"No not really. Doyoung kept watching me whenever Lucas came to speak to me. He really doesn't want me to get close to Lucas."

"Well he can't control you. Nobody can"

"Well Doyoung thinks he can control me." Y/N rolled her eyes. "That's where the whole problem started. Actually the problem started even before that, when he gave Mark hell."

"Oh how's Mark?"

"He's good. I told him about Taemin. He understands now."

"That's good. I'm glad you guys spoke."

"Ok, what's wrong?" she asked. She sensed it.

"You haven't told me if you and Mark did anything naughty." he teased. She blushed.

"So you guys did. I saw a little lovebite on your neck.

"We made out." she admitted. "I was afraid to tell you."

"Y/N I promised you I'd never control you, princess. I don't have a problem with you guys making out. I just don't understand why you're afraid to tell me."

"I didn't want you to think I was having second thoughts about us." she said.

"I've never doubted you." he stroked her cheek. "I know you too well. You'll always be mine. Plus, Mark doesn't stand a chance."

She giggled.. "Thanks, babe. I love you so much Johnny."

"I love you too, princess." He kissed her forehead. "Wanna shower together?"

"If you carry me to the bathroom."

"Your wish is my command, princess."

[the-marauders-enthusiast]

Red Hair and Butterbeer

George Weasley x Reader

(not my gif)

1.6k words

Category: fluff :)

Summary: You work at The Three Broomsticks as a waitress. The best days on the job are when you see a certain red-haired wizard walk into the Inn.

-

A little extra foam, and the drink was perfect. You carried two platters filled with drinks from table to table, seeing the happy smiles on customer's faces. This was a regular occurance for you, as you worked at The Three Broomsticks.

You got this job because your parents were struggling with money lately, so you wanted to help them out as much as you could. Of course, it wasnt the most fun experience, so you were glad you only worked on weekends (as you were in school during the week).

your favorite days on the job, however, were when students went to Hogsmeade. Not only did you make the most money those days, you also got to see a certain red-haired boy.

he never really payed attention to you, and youve only ever talked a few times during class. However you always like serving him his drinks, as he would give you his attention for the slightest moment, and then continue with his conversation.

Today was one of those Hogsmeade days, and you saw him talking to his twin, Fred, and Lee Jordan.

You walked to their table to deliver their Butterbeers, watching as George conversed with his friends. He saw you walking towards them, making eye contact for a few seconds before you arrived at their table.

“Hey boys, Here's your Butterbeers !” You said cheerily, watching the smiles grow on their faces. You placed their glasses down on the table, but as you gave George his glass, he reached up to grab it. You felt his fingers slightly brush against yours, as you once again made quick eye contact.

You stumbled over your words before saying, “Call me over when you're ready to pay.”

You saw him smile at you quickly before you walked away to deliver more drinks. Without you noticing, George followed you with his eyes, watching as you gave customers their drinks.

“Ohhh i think Georgie has a crush!” Fred said enthusiastically. “Really? Who's the lady, Georgie?” Lee caught him staring at you, instantly smiling. “I don't know, Fred, I think he's in loooooove!!" Lee laughed, winking at him. George blushed and looked away, trying to surpress his smile.

They finished their drinks and called you over. You gave them a brilliant smile, and they payed for their Butterbeers.

“Have a good day!” you said, not expecting a reply.

You froze when George replied “You too” with a grin. It took you a few seconds to move from your spot, quickly going to another table.

You finished your shift for the day and went back to Hogwarts, smiling at the events from today. You fell asleep that night thinking of red hair and butterbeer.

Today was another Hogsmeade day, you were serving tables rapidly, quickly getting tired. You heard the bell ring at the door, meaning a customer was coming in. You sighed exasperatedly. Normally you would be happy to see a lot of customers, However today was a particularly busy day.

When you saw ginger strands passing through the Inn, your mood instantly brightened. You saw that today he was sitting alone, looking a little nervous. You furrowed your brows together, questioning why he was like that. You quickly walked to his table, without him noticing as he was lost in thought.

“Would you like the usual today?” he looked up quickly. “You remember my order?” Your eyes widened and you stuttered a little before saying, “u-uh yeah, of course, one frozen butterbeer with extra foam.” You looked at him nervously before he nodded and confirmed the order. You walked to the bar, telling the bartender George's order.

After serving some other tables, you were finally giving George his drink. You walked up to his table and placed down the drink, his fingers once again brushing against yours. “Enjoy your drink!” you said nervously, starting to walk away.

“Wait, (y/n)!” You froze for a millisecond, and after recollecting yourself, turned to face him. “You know my name?” you asked, surprised he even knew who you were. “Of course I do, we have a bunch of classes together. But thats besides the point. I was wondering if you would join me here after your shift?”

Your eyes widened, and he quickly started again, “I mean- it's okay if you dont want to, totally your choice, you dont have to-” “okay, sure” You interrupted, giving him a small grin. “You- you will?” He asked with a shocked expression. “Yeah! i still have to work for another 30 minutes, are you okay with waiting here?” He nodded quickly, giving you a small smile.

You continued working your shift, hoping for the time to fly by.

Once your shift was done, you walked to the backroom and changed out of your uniform into normal clothes, seeing Madam Rosmerta on your way out. “George Weasley, huh?” She smirked at you. “Shut up, Rosmerta” You laughed playfully. You put your hair down, fixing it a little, before walking into the room and towards George's seat.

You gave him a quick greeting, “Hey George”. He smiled at you before nodding towards the seat in front of him. You sat down before Madam Rosmerta appeared at your table asking for your orders.

“I'll have a frozen butterbeer with extra foam” he said brightly. “And ill have the same,” you added.

Rosmerta smirked at you quickly before walking to the bar. You looked at George quizzically before saying, “I'm sorry if this is weird, but why did you ask me to sit with you today?” He fiddled with his fingers for a bit before responding, “Well I've been wanting to ask you for a while, im kind of.. interested in you?”. He looked at you nervously and blushed. “Wait... is this a date?” you questioned. “Uh, i was hoping it was” He responded anxiously, “Why, do you not want to be here or-”

“No, no, it's not that at all! I'm just surprised.” You replied quickly, “Why are you surprised?” He looked confused. “It's just- You never really acknowledged me at school or anything. I just thought you'd never be interested,” You looked down.

He looked at you, baffled. “You seriously never noticed that i was staring at you in class like all the time?” Your eyes widened, “wait what?”

“Yeah, ive been practically pining after you for years!” You gasped, “No way, ive been practically pining after YOU for years!!” A grin broke on your face.

“You're kidding!” He laughed and sat back against the wall, you join in on his laughter.

It wasn't long before Madam Rosmerta came back with two frozen Butterbeers with extra foam. She placed the drinks on the table, smiling at the two of you.

“Cheers!”, He said, clanking your drinks together. You took a sip of your Butterbeer, putting the glass back on the table and looking up at George. He took a glance at you and laughed quietly. You frowned, “What are you laughing at?” He pointed to your mouth and another laugh escaped his lips. “You have some foam on your lip” He smiled. You quickly tried wiping away the foam. “Did i get it?” you asked cluelessly.

“not quite.” He leaned over the table and wiped away the foam. He continued staring at your lips before whispering, “May i?”. You felt yourself move forward as you nodded at him. He closed the gap between you two, and kissed you softly. It was sweet, as he tasted of Butterbeer. You returned it, kissing him just as soft, felling him smile against your lips. He broke off the kiss, smiling warmly at you.

You could feel your face reddening, and you twiddled your thumbs nervously. “That was..” you smiled. “-brilliant”, he finished. You looked down, smiling from ear to ear. When you clocked in to work today, you did not think you would be kissing George Weasley while having Butterbeers together.

“So do you wanna come back here tomorrow?” He asked, smiling softly. “I don't have work tomorrow so I'll be free for the day. I'd be happy to” you beamed.

After paying for your drinks, you both left The Three Broomsticks and went back to hogwarts, excited for the day awaiting you.

You were on the train to Hogsmeade with your friends, excited to spend the day with George. You vividly remember yesterday's events, and you were so glad it wasn't a dream. Once you got off the train, you walked to The Three Broomsticks to look for him. When you went inside, you noticed that the Inn was packed. You couldnt see George anywhere, but you did see Harry, Ron and Hermione. You figured that if anyone would know where he was it would be them.

You walked up to their table. Hermione looked up at you, “hey (y/n), can we get one hot butterbeer-” “im not working today Hermione” you interrupted, laughing slightly. “Oh, are you here with anyone?” she asked curiously.

“Well im supposed to meet George here-” Ron raised his eyebrows, “-but I don't know where he is. Have any of you seen him?” You heard a bell jingle and looked at the door, seeing the tall red-head walk in. You smiled wide before turning back to the trio, “Found him! I'll see you guys later!” You grinned and walked towards George.

“Hey,” you said softly. George gave you a greeting in return, then intertwined your hands together. You looked at eachother for a quick second before going to sit at a table. You talked for a while, laughing and smiling at eachother, enjoying eachothers company.

Suddenly he looked at you softly and said “(y/n).. i really like you.” You smiled at him in return, replying “I really like you too George, and i hope we can keep going on dates like this.”

He leaned closer to you and tucked your hair behind your ear, his hand moving to hold your chin lightly. He tilted your head up and leaned down to you. You fluttered your eyes closed and pressed your lips together. He brushed his hand down your arm, and held your hand. Ron, seeing this from across the room, choked on his Butterbeer. You broke the kiss and smiled up at him, squeezing his hand.

He leaned down and whispered, “Be my girlfriend?” You nodded and kissed him again, smiling.

You spend the rest of the day together, excited about your new relationship and what it could bring.

[zmayadw]

Evening all :)

Hope you all had a nice few days :)

Anyway, here is the next part.

Enjoy your evening!

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 16

The sun was out already when i woke up the next day. Jake was still asleep next to me. He looked so peacful, no worry showing on his face. I smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek, running my hand through his hair. „'Morning, sleepyhead.“ I said, nibbling softly at his ear. He smiled, his eyes still closed. „Are you trying to kill me? I'm so sore from all the fun we had yesterday, i'm not sure i'll be able to get out of bed.“ I laughed at it „Don't worry, i'll let you rest.“ Adding, kissing him on the neck „At least for the morning.“ Now he laughed, taking the pillow form under his head, throwing it at me. „You're crazy.“ He said turning, giving me a long kiss. „You're welcome to take a shower.“ I told him „it might ease some of the soreness off.“ „That's not a bad idea.“ He gave me one more kiss, getting out of the bed. As he neared the bathroom doors, i asked „Is it ok if i turn my phone now?“ „Oh, i forgot.“ He said, going to the desk, unpluging my phone, handing it to me. „It's fine, you can use it normaly.“ „Thanks.“ I turned it on, checking a few messages i got while it was off. One was from Jessy, asking if i contacted Jake. I chuckled, thinking how Jessy will be thrown out of her shoes when i tell her about all that happened with him. I replied to her, asking if she wants to meet for coffee later. I checked other messages, and tensed a bit when i saw the one from Phil. „Hey gorgeous, hope you ok. Havent heard from you for a while, just checking up on you. Don't be a stranger ;)“ Shit, i tought, i forgot about Phil. I threw my phone on the bed, burrying my face in the pillow. Ah, crap. I will have to talk to Phil soon, and i dreaded it. He was always nice to me, and i was willing to give him a chance if things with Jake didnt turn out like this. I took my phone back, replying to Phil „Hey, hey, all is fine. Been bussy working. But thanks for checking up on me! Will come to Aurora for a drink soon, promise! :) „ Jessy replied in the mean time, telling she is free arround 13h, and i replied confirming our meeting. Phil also replied. „Glad to hear you ok! Dont work yourself out, take a break ;) See you soon, gorgeous.“ Bah, i tought, throwing my phone back to bed. I so didnt want to have another talk with Phil. Even tho he said he would be fine, i knew it wouldnt go easy on him. He really was into me, and i didnt feel good knowing what i had to do. I got lost in my toughts, that i havent noticed Jake was standing at the bathrom door, looking at me curiously. „Everything ok?“ he asked. I sighed, giving him a small smile „It will be.“ „You sure?“ he asked, and i could see he wasnt sattisfied with my answer. „Yes, Jake, im sure. Its nothing that cant wait.“ I said giving him a bit better smile. He looked at me a bit skeptically „Alright, if you say so.“ My phone rang then, and i was grateful for it. I really didnt want to talk to Jake about Phil, at least not right now. Jake got agitated at my phone as i took it, answering it a bit surprised. „Hannah?“ i said, and i saw Jake was being confused as much as me. „Hello, Maya.“ She replied cheerfuly „Hope i'm not disturbing you.“ „Ofcours not.“ I told her „Whats up?“ „Well, i called to ask if you are free tonight? I'm inviting everyone for drinks at the Aurora. I'v got some good news to share with you all.“ „Ofcourse!“ i told her cheerfuly. „Great.“ She chimed from the other side. „You we'r the last one i needed to call. I tried yesterday, but your phone was unreachable.“ „Yeah, i turned it off, wanted some peace while working, sorry.“ I said sounding apologetically, looking at Jake. He just grinned at me. „No need to apologise, i understand. Well, i do have someoe else to contact.“ She said „I dont suppose you heard from or seen my half-brother recently?“ „Jake?“ i asked, trying to sound surprised, and he looked at me rising his eyebrows. „No, sorry, i havent seen him, or talked to him recently.“ „Hmm, i called him few times, but he didnt answer or called me back.“ She said, sounding a bit worried. „Im sure hes fine.“ I told her, grinning at Jake., him shaking his head at

me. „Yeah, you're probably right. Anyway, i have to go now. Cya tonight, arround nine.“ „Cya tonight, Hannah.“ I lovered my phone, Jake asking „What was that about?“ „Well“ i started „Hannah wants for all of us to meet at the Aurora tonight, she has some news she wants to share.“ I looked at him inquiry. „Dont look at me, i have no clue what she wants.“ „Hmm, i guess we'll find out tonight then.“ I said. I looked at him „By the way, was it ok i told her i havent seen you? I mean, we havent really talked ourselves about all of this.“ He smiled, sitting next to me. „Its fine, Maya.“ He took my hand, entwining his fingers with mine. „Maybe we should keep it to ourselfs for a while.“ He said, but looked at me with a grin „Even tho i dont care who knows.“ I grinned „Same here.“ „Hmm, you sure about that?“ he asked, and i looked puzzled at him. „Well, we are meeting Hannah at Aurora tonight, and i know one person there who would care.“ Shit, i tought. „If you mean Phil, im very well aware of it.“ I said, getting up from the bed. I got a bit annoyed by Jakes words, even tho i knew he was right. „Maya“ Jake started, and i looked back at him. His eyes met mine, and my heart skipped a beat. I could see insecurity written all over his face, his eyes gloomy. „Do you still feel the same about Phil?“ he asked. I walked back to him, taking his head in my hands, leveling his eyes with mine. „Do you really have to ask me that, after all that happened?“ i told him witha a smile and kissed him. I moved back, meeting his eyes again. „It was always you that i wanted. Only you, Jake.“ He pulled me to him and kissed me, and this time it felt different. Before, his kisses wer packed with desire and lust. But this time his kiss was deep, tender, i would dare to say full of love. „You're amazing.“ He told me „I'm lucky to have you.“ He kissed me again, with that same depth and tenderness as earlier, sending tingles. This time, every move we made was slow and gentle. This time, we made love.

I was getting my sneakers on, as Jake was zipping his hoodie. „Will you be ok tonight? At the Aurora?“ i asked him. „I mean, seeing Phil acting as he would arround me.“ He groaned a bit „Not really, but i'll survive.“ I walked to him, putting my hands arround his neck, saying teasingly „I'll make it up to you later, if you promise to behave.“ He raised his eyebrow at me „That sounds tempting“ he started „But i cant promise you i wont be tempted to not behave.“ I grined at him, giving him a quick kiss „Well, do your best.“ „That, i can promise.“ He said, grining back. I let go of him, grabing my phone checking the time before throwing it at my purse. I took the car keys „I'm gonna be late! You ready?“ „Yes, lets go.“ I gave him the car keys, and he drowe us to the towns center. „Are you gonna tell Jessy about us?“ he asked. „I dont know.“ I said „She was the one who begged me to contact you about the calls, so she knows abou that.“ I paused for a while, a smile creeping to my face „And Jessy can be quite perceptive, she might figure out on her own that something is up.“ I looked at him „Would it be alright with you if she knew?“ „I wouldnt mind“ he said „If she can keep it to herself, for now at least.“ „If i ask it of her, she will.“ I told him. „You two became really close.“ He said , as we came to the parking in the center. „We did , she means a lot to me.“ He turned to me, taking the keys from the ignition. „But you are on top of my 'special people' list.“ I said leaning in for a kiss. He kissed me back, moving away, giving me the keys. „Good.“ He said, grinning „Now off you go, you're late already. And before anyone sees us.“ We left the car, and i started walking backwards from it, blowing him a kiss „See you tonigh.“ He smiled „See you, Maya.“

Jessy was already at the cafe when i came, sitting myself on the chair accross from her „I'm late, i know, i'm sorry!“ I looked at her appologeticaly. „Its fine“ she said, smiling „I got here few minutes ago myself, to be honest.“ „Good.“ I told her. „So what have you been up lately?“ i asked, her face getting cheerful. „Well, as a matter of fact, i have some good news.“ „Yeah? Well, out with it allready!“ i chimed happily. „Ok, ok. Well you know i had to find a new job, after all that happened.“ Her face got a bit gloomy as she said it, and i understood it. I gave her a small smile, thinking how much her life must have been affected by all that have happened. Jet, she stayed so positive through it all. „Anyway“ she continued „I had a job interwiev today.“ „Oh, Jessy, that's great!“ i exclaimed cheerfuly „Where at?“ She smiled „At the library.“ I clapped my hands at it, i knew how much Jessy liked that place, and books, too. „Thats excellent, not just good news, Jessy! I'm happy for you.“ i told her, smiling sencerely. „Well, i havent gotten the job, jet.“ She started „But i have a very good chance for it.“ „I'm sure you will get it.“ I told her. „Anyway, enough about me. Did you contact Jake already?“ she asked, getting all serious on me. „I did.“ I said, a small smile appearning at the corner of my lips. „Good.“ She said, not noticing „And, what happened?“ A lot, i tought to myself. „Well, he checked my phone, to see if it was hacked or something.“ „Did he find anything?“ I sighed „Unfortunatly, no.“Thats not good.“ Jessy said „Can't he do anything else? I mean, isn't that like his expertise?“ „He is trying one more thing.“ I told her. „He connected' to my incoming calls, again.“ I started, and Jessy looked inquiringly at me. „We're hoping he can figure out the location from where the calls are comming like that.“ „Hmm, that would be usefull.“ „Indeed“ i said „I just wish all would end soon, i'm getting terrified by it all, Jessy.“ „I know, Maya“ she said „I'm sure Jake will be abel to find something.“ „I hope so, Jessy.“ I said. „He will.“ She said, smiling reasuringly at me „We all know how skillful he is.“ Indeed, i tought, and not just with computers. Jessy was looking at me now, like she could read my toughts. She squinted her eyes at me „Something else is up.“ „What do you mean?“ i said, trying to sound as calm as i could. „You look different.“ „Different how?“ i asked. „I dont know“ she started „It's like, you're glowing.“ She continued looking at me, and i got a bit fidgety. She was staring intensly at me. Then, all of a sudden, her eyes opened wide, a grin on her face. „You hooked up!“ she almost screamed. „What?“ i tried to sound confused, but she didnt bought it. „You and Jake, you hooked!“ she chimed again. „Dont denie it!“ she said, grinning at me. I groaned „Fine! Yes, we hooked.“ I looked at her, and we both started squilling like a teenage girls. „Finaly!“ she said laughing „Im happy for you, Maya.“ „Thanks, Jessy. Im happy ,too. But, please, keep it to yourself. At least for now.“ I said pleadingly. „Ohh, i'll try my best, i promise.“ she said. „Give it your best, at least for tonight.“ I pleaded her again. She got serious „Uh, oh, Aurora tonight.“ „Yes, Aurora tonight.“ I said, dreadfully “It can never be simple for me.“ She gave me an akward smile, squizing my hand. We stayed silent for a moment, before a smile started creeping back to Jessys face. „Sooo“ she started „Jake and you? Talk! And i want to hear everything. And i mean, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.“ I laughed, Jessy looking at me with the biggest grin on her face. „Alright.“ I said, Jessy clapping her hands excitedly.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon back again. Heads up im going to be busy for the next week about so it may be a bit til I submit my next bit. I'll try to get something in though! Even if its just a bunch of incorrect quotes I have stored up or songs that inspired the story (or if you have questions you haven't been able to ask you can ask those, literally any question is fine).

1: Not particularly, but it does give him an advantage in everything basically. Cause he was taught how to survive in many different areas (like treating wounds and how to survive in a tundra when you have nothing), this teaching is what allowed him to live alone for 4 years, and is what gives him a strong advantage in the Pit because he's almost fully trained in fighting and has many different tactics for multiple scenarios. Ranbob was distraught and was sent into a depressive episode when he discovered that, almost his entire family was dead, and got even more distraught and sent into a state of hysteria when he found out he was the one who killed them. He acted much the same when he found out he killed his friends, Ran's friends, and every single mentor and leader that was there. Knowing full well he may of very well doomed Mizu, if anyone was still left alive of course. 

2: Grievous remained salty for the rest of the day, and showed distaste in Ranbob as well. But the day after Grievous was back to being friends with and gently pranking Ranbob, forgiving him for yesterday's accident.

3: Eh? It depends I'll say. For life threatening situations and stressful situations, yes definitely. He doesnt last long before breaking down and begging Benjamin for help. But if its something like getting everyone to work toghere, giving directions, stopping fights, or even making calls in a very important decision, he doesnt get overwhelmed too easily. Benjamin is basically the co-leader of the group, only really leading when Isaac is unable too. 

5: Yep! Just cause this is a mythical and fake world doesnt mean there can't be some real world attributes. Im trying to keep it mythical but also use real world functions and trying to show the change/mix in times (like how while some of the world is machinery and its slowly gaining popularity, it's still mostly midevil based)

7: If the person is in the arena he gets revenge. Though sadly he can't get it outside cause last time he did that he got banned from fighting for a month. But if he sees one of the people who made fun of Jackie in the arena he makes sure to go hard to them, pushing them to their limit, but not pushing hard enough to make them lose if that makes sense. He makes sure to fight in a way that's draining and causing pain for the person, but not draining enough to make the round end so he can drag it on until the person collapses. 

8: He does! He's kept all of his books from his adventures and sometimes re-reads them to make sure he doesnt forget anything. And sometimes if the others beg, he reads them outloud to the group as a sort of bedtime story. He goes wack, he wacks Jackie when he's being a little shit, he wacks Grievous after a prank, he wacks Genevieve when she brakes a training dummy, he wacks Levi especially hard when he gives Jackie alcohol after he specifically told him not too. He watched the dressmaker, baker, farmer, fletcher, cleric, cartographer, and butcher! He learned all tricks of the trade and learned how to properly make clothes, map maps, how to take care of animals and what certain animals need, how to cook anything basically, how to harvest and preserve food, and how to make arrows and the basic necessities for a bow. 

Ran does not necessarily make them often, he mostly only wrote them down so he wouldn't accidentally brew a potion of poison and drink it thinking it was a healing potion. Its considered no longer necessary to go into the nether, as the only thing really needed is netherwart and building supplies, but the building supplies are very rarely needed and every major city has a netherwart farm. Also cause I wanna add it, no one knows about netherite. Only a few adventures know about it but consider it a hoax, it's only Rans netherite sword that actually proves that it does exist. I actually wasnt planning on it at first but now definitely, I could do a lot of things with them in the SMP grounds. Weeks, it takes weeks for Ran to decide their ready. Because they need to pass whats basically tests about mobs of the nether and their habits, mine plenty of gold, learn about what to and what not to do around Piglins, learn about bastions and fortresses and areas to completely avoid, learn to be able to take multiple mobs on at once, and be able to withstand the heat there. Watson tries to get Ran to lighten up on the requirements but Ran is firmly sticking his ground and Watson ends up giving up and letting Ran do whatever. Though even with all of Rans training their not completely ready for the nether. The fishermen originally refuse to go through, but eventually go through, mostly to make sure Ranbob is safe, and because Cletus wouldn't stop whining about going. 

10: I am very tempted to add angst here because their fighting against Dream after all. But I've made a lot of angst so far so I'll only do it if you want me too. 

12: He does end up stepping in! He goes to Ranbob one night and says how he's noticed he's been stressed and always sad and asks how he can help. Ranbob brushes him off at first but is debating going to him again and asking for help one last time.

13: Yeah he's like a final boss. When you fight as a General your allowed to use your own personal weapons and whatever tricks or tactics you want, along with 3 potions of your choice. While when fighting as a typical gladiator, you have to use the weapons supplied (although unless specifically stated you can use any weapon given at any time), and have to use tatics and tricks specifically allowed in the rules. Though there are 2 more titles! Sergeant and Corporal. Ran and Watson are both Sergeants, they get to use personal weapons and mostly any tactic and tricks they want too. While Grievous is a Corporal and only gets to use his personal weapons. 

14: Yep! The whispers disappeared gradually the futher away they got from Mizu, and even while he was moving away from Mizu Dream was asking, almost begging him at the end, to come back to Mizu. Saying how the futher Ranbob gets the lonier and colder he feels, and how he's sorrh, trying to guilt trip him into coming back to Mizu, or at least coming closer again. 

15: It is!

1: Huh. What kind of things would people learn if they chose other idols, exactly? Also, ouch. Why do I keep asking questions I know will hurt me later on?

2: Gently pranking. I applaud his restraint. Is that how Grievous forgives people? Gently pranking them? Just joking with them in general. Also, who laughed at that little situation?

3: So Isaac’s good with everyday things, not so much high stress situations. Gotcha. Is there a reason Benjamin is able to remain calm where he can’t? Practice, experience, personality trait?

5: Very cool. Can’t wait to see what else you do with that, honestly.

7: Petty. I love it. 

8: Aww, adventure bedtime stories! Also, him wacking people is so funny to me, thank you for that. And Levi gave Jackie alcohol? How did that go down? Did Jackie get drunk, or did Watson manage to keep them from drinking it? Watson sounds like he could probably establish a small village if he so chose, and honestly, good for him.

Dang. Does this mean like, everything from the Smp has been lost? So many of them had netherite armor and stuff, what happened there for people to not even know it’s a thing anymore? What happened in general, for so much of the past to be lost to history? How does their little Nether trip go? Anyone get hurt? Are piglin tribes around to trade with? Do they find anything cool, like a fortress or bastion?

10: It’s your AU, do what you will. I’m going to read it regardless, because for some reason, I enjoy breaking my heart like that(and the AU in general). Just give us some bonus hurt/comfort if you do, please? Just a smidge?

12: One last time? What does that mean, exactly? Should I be concerned?

13: Huh. So how many people know that Jackie’s the General? What kind of status does it give him? And how many people have managed to beat him when he fights all out? Would you say he and Ran are on par? How about him and Watson? And do the Sergeants and Corporals fight before the General, as like, mini bosses?

14:Oh no. Did it ever cause Ranbob to try and go back to him toward the end, or did the Fishermen manage to distract him long enough to get away from the whispers just about completely?

15: Yay!