#but you gotta think about it from the other characters’ pov

[copperbadge]

Immediate Writer's Block

Had a comment on another post where I thought I'd probably need more space than the notes in which to respond, so:

constant-state-of-self-discovery Oh I get the envy I feel it right now how the fuck do you manage to write without impassable writers block after 5-9 sentences because I haven't fucking figured it out lol

I do have some advice on this!

I think most writers get blocked from time to time, it's normal and my general strategy is just to wait it out, but if you're frequently blocked after only writing a very little bit, I think the problem is one of two things: either you don't know what you want to achieve with the scene you're writing, or you don't know what should happen next within the scene to achieve that goal. If you frame "I'm blocked" as "I don't have an answer I need" then often you move from just sitting there, sweating and staring at a blank page, to thinking productively about how you're going to get where you're going. It's the difference between not knowing an answer and not knowing an answer but knowing where to look for it.

An invaluable piece of advice for this, which I think I picked up from someone who got it off a National Novel Writing Month messageboard, is "When in doubt, ninjas attack." It's not meant to be literal, you don't need to have ninjas or fight scenes just because you don't know what to do, but it helps to get the creativity flowing again. If you don't know what should happen next, or you know but you're having trouble actually writing the scene, it can be very helpful to induce a moment of uncertainty or surprise -- to have a metaphorical ninja attack. One time I did this literally -- the POV character was just on the road somewhere and I didn't know how to get them from a pastoral country road to their actual destination in an interesting way, so I had them get attacked by highway bandits and have to fight them off, which also allowed me to demonstrate that the character had significant unarmed combat skills. But it can also just be like, two characters who are having a boring conversation can be interrupted by a third person, even just a stranger asking for directions, or there can be, IDK, an explosion, or something goes missing, or etc.

Sometimes it also helps to leave it alone but keep it in your mind and go do something else -- listen to a podcast, take a walk, read a book, not because those things are distracting but because all our inputs eventually feed into our brain and come out as reactions. If you're thinking about your book while you're wandering around a park, something you see in the park might have an impact on it. If you've got YOUR story in mind while reading someone else's, you might be more inclined to look at what they're saying and see what you think of it, how it might play into your work.

And honestly, sometimes you just gotta go past it. I'm working on the next Shivadh novel right now and it opens basically with Simon the chef getting into a spat with his love-interest-to-be over some cheese. He want the cheese, she won't sell him the cheese, so they get off to a very contentious start. But I suck at writing conflict especially when it's basically "A character I like is being pompous and another character I want people to find likable is being stubborn and somewhat unpleasant". I've been stalled on it for a while. But I know where the scene ends up, like I do know what the goal is, so I just...skipped it and went on to writing a scene I like better, where they meet a second time and actually discover each others' identity and that they're about to be forced into the grownup equivalent of a school project. Once I've gotten dug deeper into the story I'll come back and write it, and by then I'll have the benefit of knowing the love interest a bit better.

So yeah -- I think a lot of breaking a writer's block, especially when you don't need rest but are just stumped about what to do, is to twist and look at it from another angle. It's not that you don't know what to write, or don't want to write what you know you have to -- it's that you don't have the correct answer to a question, or you need to leave that part alone to ferment and come back to it later. At least, for me.

[mrfoox]

i wish i trusted my own feelings more but here i am?

[antimony-medusa]

Honestly though like if you're following Philza you should get used to the fact that since the dawn of him streaming RP people have violently disliked his reaction to any angst beats because like, the cc finds angst rp funny and is also a very giggly guy. And if you're here for drama and tragedy it looks like he's not taking the pain seriously, which is obviously going to be something you don't like seeing. Trust me. We have been here before. I have watched DSMP. There were people saying he didn't take Techno's IRL death seriously enough because he was positive on stream. Like, this is top five things people get mad at cc!phil and his characters for, after "breaks the fourth wall" and "is an imperfect person/parent" and "idk his vibes just grate and I read them as Bad y'know".

I personally think that like the fact that he was repeatedly saying to the eggs that they were gonna get Tubbo back, they'll bring him back with the create wrench cause he cares about create, don't worry it'll all be okay; that was all evidence that the character does care about Tubbo and for heaven's sake, if you want angst, read that as denial and you're fully comfortably in one of the recognized stages of grieving. I was making jokes the day people in my life died, this is also one of the ways people deal with loss. But I also see why that's a POV clash if you wanted a more straightforward depiction of grief and angst? Phil was pretty far from being in tears, which is what some people think was warranted. So like, sure, if you've been watching a specific perspective, Phil's reaction was trivializing. I can see that perspective as well.

It is not fun to see someone calling your POV "vile" and "heartless" and "too selfish to consider other people" and the other delightful stuff that I just saw on a scroll through the tag, but like, that's just POV clash, you gotta let people have their own opinions and block the neg tags and maybe block people who are being really loud. Sincerely, it does nobody any good to go beefing about people being mean about your favourite cubito. Post careful lore exploration on your own blog if you want but doing replies, sending anons, all of that is the way down which A Bad Time lies. Sincerely like, this has happened before, this will happen again, just go listen to good music or something and ignore it.

[pshcomforts]

➳ shameless | psh.

highschool!sunghoon x fem!reader

“there’s just inches between us”

synopsis: you and sunghoon are academic rivals, always going head to head.

warnings/content: written in third pov. cursing. not proofread. sexual tension. kind of suggestive? a little bit of idiots in love. sunghoon gets jealous.. and possessive? reader’s always late to class but somehow still has the best grade. (this one’s my favorite so far)

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 3.9k

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s partner), min-su (heeseung’s partner), and ji-woo (jake’s partner).

current song playing: shameless by camila cabello

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

2:35 ──────────────|───── -1:04

another day, another struggle of being late to class.

y/n sighed as she checked her phone for the time.

[ 10:42am ] — it read. she felt her heart weigh down at the given time. “fucking late again..,” she groaned while speed walking her legs to class. an unusual amount of notifications blew up her silenced phone, indicating that her friends were questioning her whereabouts.

“come on, i gotta make it.” the girl harshly huffed in quiet and unsteady breaths. “mr. lee’s gonna kill me.”

in minutes, she found herself booming through the door with only deep breaths audible. [ 10:56am ] — her phone beamed.

“made it..,” she murmured through her harsh gasps for air.

“y/n, you made it!” yelled her friend, dae, who had widened eyes. “well to second period but..”

“y..yeah, hold on… give me a second.” her hands smacked down on his desk as her head lowered with exhaustion.

dae giggled at her state. “did you run here?”

“i basically did!” she yelled out, causing him and their two other friends — min-su and ji-woo to laugh as well.

“you’re who i have to beat and yet you can’t even get to class on time?” a voice from behind jerkily snorted.

y/n’s head instantly bolted up at that familiar, stupid tone she could easily recognize. “shut the hell up, park. you’re here more than me and yet your scores are lower, you really wanna mention who’s beating who?” she shot back with an intense glare.

her rival, sunghoon, only chuckled in a laugh at her words. “your score was lower than mine last test, second place. i don’t think you should be talking either.” he let a stupidly handsome smirk tug onto his lips.

she rolled her eyes, blood beginning to boil the more she looked at him. “who’s grade is higher hm? exactly.” the girl uttered, before turning her full back to him.

she heard him humor a chuckle before giving a faint ruffle to her hair. “we’ll see about that, nerd.” her hands went to the messy strands, huffing out an annoyed sigh as he left with a playful smile plastered.

her friends giggled at their relationship.

“girl, you and sunghoon need to get together already.” ji-woo chimed with a teasing grin.

y/n’s face morphed into disgust before furiously shaking her head. “are you crazy?? i could never be with someone like him.”

“your dynamic is cute though. a little disgusting, but cute.” min-su added in, shrugging her shoulders afterward.

“puh-lease. he hates me and i hate him, nothing could change that.”

dae’s brows slightly raised. “mhm… okay..,” he murmured.

“look, just because you guys are dating his friends, that doesn’t mean i should date him. he’s too much of an asshole anyway, who would even like him?”

she would. the girl was in complete denial, turning all her confused love into misdirected fuel for competition.

he was a distraction and she made sure she’d always see it that way. he couldn’t possibly differ her from the strong perspective she had of him being the hot, asshole nerd he was.

he was attractive, maybe a little too attractive; but his personality couldn’t agree with that. as her academic rival, he joked and played around with her, enjoying the little reactions he could get out of the cold, heartless girl.

but she couldn’t say she liked the teasings she’d receive from him. she could never admit to it because no matter how appealing he’d may be, he was still competition.

“well we’re not saying you should-“

ji-woo’s words were cut off by the entrance of mr. lee and their widely known friend, jay.

heads were turned and confused faces had morphed in onto each student.

“class, this is park jongseong from mr. yang’s class. he’s transferred to ours so his schedule can fit a few other classes, please welcome him,” he announced to everyone.

y/n’s eyes twinkled with delight at the sight of her friend who was awkwardly waving to his new peers. “hello..,” she heard him beam with a smile.

“you’re welcome to choose whichever empty seat you’d like. i’d suggest sitting next to either of my top two students, y/n,” mr. lee pointed to her, “or sunghoon. both are great choices to choose for catching up with our class.”

given that jay was a friend of both, he remained a little unsure before ultimately deciding to sit next to y/n.

he placed himself on the right side of her, giving sunghoon a clear shot of the two alarmingly close to each other. he let a puff of air slip by his lips as he subtly rolled his eyes.

“could’ve sat next to me but chose to sit next to that loser?” he silently fumed in his seat, forcing his attention away from the two who were conversing.

sunghoon didn’t know why but his heart was burning, aching almost. he’s never felt this way before. seeing how the girl he attempted to hate smile and smack his friend’s shoulders churned his stomach.

his jaw clenched and his ears fell deaf on everything else once he heard his rival call him — “park.”

“park?? park?” he guffawed with a loud, clear scoff in his throat. “she’s calling him park? my nickname she has for me??”

he angrily folded his arms as he tried to keep himself quiet. his mouth continued to spew out a few other words about her existence, along with some curse words added in for jay’s part before being interrupted — “why are you so loud?”

his head whipped to the right, meeting eyes with his friend, heeseung whose head was laying on the desk. “almost everyone can hear you, hoon. you’re showing that you like her a little too much.” the older male teased with a shit eating grin.

sunghoon exhaled a long breath before uttering a quiet — “shut up” to his friend. just then, a little note was thrown onto his desk, catching his attention.

his head cocked to the side in confusion before turning to the direction of where the paper came from.

in seconds, he found ji-woo’s boyfriend, jake, mouthing ‘open it.’

his hands crumbled it open and found the words — ‘are you jealous?’ — written on it.

hoon’s face immediately wore a frown as his brows furrowed back to his friend. in return, jake motioned for him to write back with his hand doing little scribbly lines.

he groaned out a soft sigh before complying to his friends words. ‘jealous about what?’ he wrote, faking his coy state to hide how he felt.

he gave a harsh toss back to jake, allowing the aussie to open it with a ‘pft’ leaving his lips afterward.

‘don’t act stupid, you’re looking sus ඞ’ — written back to sunghoon.

jake tried to throw it back to him but with such a bad angle toss, it ended up landing on jungwon’s desk.

he cocked a brow at the crumbled paper, opening it to find the two different sets of colored words — red from sunghoon and black from jake.

won turned to sunghoon with an eyebrow raise, giving a quick toss back to him, not before adding in his own input of course.

‘hoon’s jealous? about what? y/n? (⚆ ̫ ⚆)’ — colored blue to the tall boy.

sunghoon gave an annoyed grunt after reading his friend’s words. almost a little too harshly, his hands quickened in a pace before throwing it to jungwon once more.

‘i’m not jealous (ง •̀_•́)ง’— he rolled his eyes at his confirmation. “me? jealous?” he quietly scoffed in disbelief.

before he could toss it to jungwon’s desk, a snatch from the right was made to the paper, indicating that heeseung had caught on to their little game.

he crumbled it open, raising his brows and widening his eyes in amusement. sunghoon softly sighed as he watched the older male start writing as well. “great.. heeseung’s in on this now too.” he whispered under his breath.

min-su’s boyfriend finished his thought and gracefully threw it to jake. ‘he’s such a liar, i heard him just minutes ago talking about them (ఠꍓఠ)’ — heeseung wrote in green.

the younger boy silently laughed, widening his bright smile as he scribbled a few words back. ‘hoonie has a crush (ꗞ _ ꗞ)’ — he threw to y/n’s rival.

sunghoon opened the note before rolling his eyes and clenching his already-tense jaw. his hand wrote out his thoughts, pen undeniably denting the paper in frustration.

the passing of the note went around the four for a while, eventually reaching niki and sunoo as well; jay staying mindless to all of it because well, he was still talking to y/n.

the two conversing and turning to one another for a peer talk was the view from sunghoon’s perspective.

soon enough, mr. lee caught on as well, and just with luck on its side, sunghoon was the one to be seen with the passed note.

“one of my star students? really?” the teacher uttered in a slight scoff.

hoon’s head instantly lowered at the obvious disappointment present in his teacher’s tone. he’s never felt this sort of fizzling letdown before and he didn’t know how to take it.

“what? no, i-“ he tried to justify, only to be cut off by mr. lee — “i’m fairly disappointed, sunghoon. i expected more.”

everyone’s eyes were on him and all he could do was have an embarrassing amount of blush on his cheeks.

“you’ll serve detention for disrupting my class after school today. see me then.”

his head lowered even more, avoiding the judgmental stares received from his peers.

a snicker then came from the direction of where his rival was at. a poorly hidden snicker at that.

y/n softly snorted out laughter, hands attempting to cover her mouth but doing it very horribly with the fact that her worst enemy was just embarrassed.

sunghoon shot a glance to her, teary eyes narrowing at the girl before shifting to jay who was trying to quiet her down. there it was again. his heart painfully throbbed at how his friend interacted with her.

“well if you think it’s so funny y/n, you can join sunghoon for detention as well,” mr. lee spat to her.

almost immediately, her eyes widened at his words. “what?? but-“

“can’t wait,” he intruded with a push to his glasses. “would anyone else like to join my two students who i thought were my academic weapons before i return back to this lesson? no? okay, let’s proceed.”

min-su, ji-woo, dae, and the rest of the enhypen members avoided eye contact from the two

y/n fumed in her seat, grumbling out quiet curse words to herself as she rolled her eyes. “he gets in trouble but i somehow get sucked in? pft, asshole.” she mumbled, putting the blame on him even though it was her own fault.

from the back, hoon placed his hand over his mouth to cover himself from sneering a laugh. sure, he hated the fact that he was about to spend more time with the girl he hated (liar), but he felt satisfied that she got in just as much trouble as him. then the thought of having to see her again clouded his head, and it pissed him off once more.

karma really was a bitch.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

hours passed through the school day, and ms. choi was the last and final teacher.

with just a few minutes left, she caught everyone’s attention. ”your tests have finally been graded, so scores will be out soon. please look out for it on the bulletin board when you get the chance.” she said, giving an approval head nod seconds after the bell rang to head over.

students scattered around to the bulletin board, little pushes and shoves were made as most of y/n’s friend group rushed for their score.

“a 95! yes!” screamed ji-woo.

“92! i can live with this,” dae pointed out.

“93! holy shit, i passed!” min-su yelled.

y/n’s eyes widened. “97?? OH MY GOD! i actually passed! all that hard work paid off!” she shouted, jumping up and down in glee.

the academic group cheered together, giving hops in their designated stance all at once. they circled around, still in oblivious glee before y/n had come in contact with sunghoon’s score.

68.

her heart dropped a little for him. she immediately stopped her jumps and examined the paper.

eight rankings.. the boy went down by eight rankings, no longer being her competition for now.

she didn’t know how to feel. for as long as she could remember, they’d been going head to head for first place, and now she’s got the upper hand.

y/n was finally in the lead and for once, sunghoon wasn’t the runner up.

her eyes continuously looked over at his score. she couldn’t even lie, she’d be in distress if her score went low like that.

‘wait- no way i feel bad for him?? i should be happy that i’m finally rank one by myself.’ she thought, scoffing in disbelief with how she almost felt sympathetic for a jerk named sunghoon. but she’d understand him — the disappointed looks from his family, the eating guilt from doing bad, the expectations to never failing again — she knew what it was like.

and it was then that y/n shifted her attention from her friends to across the hall where he was. her heart instantly thumped in pity as she watched his strikingly, attractive face turn sour with every step he took.

the look of disappointment was clear in his facial expression, and she could see it herself. she almost wore a frown when watching him slowly disassociate from his conversation with the enhypen members — something that only she noticed.

the girl watched him excuse himself to leave, then it clicked into her head that she had detention with him.

“aw fuck!” she cursed aloud, catching her friend’s attentions.

“what?” asked ji-woo with a head tilt.

“she has detention with sunghoon,” jake chimed from behind, slinging an arm around his girlfriend.

min-su and dae snickered in laughs before y/n exhausted a groan. “shut up!” she yelled to them.

“have fun,” min-su’s boyfriend, heeseung, teased with a sly smile.

“you know she won’t baby,” his girl intervened, following his smile and mirroring the evil grin he had.

the single girl rolled her eyes after noticing their friends link arms with their significant others.

“it’ll be over soon, y/n. just ignore him!” dae yelled. “i mean you could talk to him but..,”

“babe, does it really look like she wants to talk to him?” jungwon asked, planting a soft peck onto his boyfriend’s cheeks afterwards.

“well i’d rather be in there than seeing all this couple stuff.” y/n refuted, huffing out a breath of air before leaving to detention in defeat.

she left the scene, hearing the remaining words of jay scream out — “i’m staying after school for a bit, so say hi if you see me!”

when she approached the class, she felt her heartbeats in her throat. she softly clenched her chest. ‘what is this feeling? pft, this is stupid,’ the girl thought while entering in.

“y/n, good to see you’ve finally arrived on time. take a seat right there,” mr. lee spoke with another push to his glasses.

a red color picked at her cheeks when she met eyes with her arch rival, sunghoon. being announced that she wasn’t late for once in front of the person she hated was way too humiliating.

but then she remembered that he got a low score and she suddenly felt better.

y/n sat across the room from him, making sure that she’d breathe no same air as him. she gave a soft sigh as she checked her phone.

[ 3:17pm ] — it read.

it’s gonna be a long while.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

about an hour passed, and detention was almost over.

the entire time the two were stuck in there, it remained silent. tension filled the air with every quiet glance they could get, every small glimpse they could steal from each other.

a few minutes later, and mr. lee had finally announced they could leave.

“i sincerely hope that my two star pupils won’t disrupt my class again, have a great rest of your day.” he murmured, lips firmly pressed together to emphasize disappointment.

y/n groaned out a sigh once the teacher had made his exit. “finally gonna go home,” she mumbled under her breath.

a clink from behind was made, indicating that sunghoon was still in the class. she gave a quick stink eye and though he couldn’t see it, she felt stupidly proud of herself.

she exited out before he could, head directly staring down onto her phone, causing her face to meet a very broad chest.

y/n shot her head up, expecting to see a stranger but instead saw a familiar face. “oh jay! you stayed!” she yelled.

his face beamed a bright smile before nudging her head. “yeah i had to for a class, how was it spending time with sunghoon?” his brows raised in amusement, enjoying how frustrated she got.

“shut up, park!” she cackled, sending a smile and a smack to him.

it was then that sunghoon’s feet were glued to the ground at the door frame. he seethed through the gaps of air in his teeth. there it was again; that stupid pounding in his heart.

the nickname ‘park’ was in a different sense of tone that he’s never heard before. a playful, sweet tone that set him off in the wrong way.

“park?” he unbelievably scoffed.

he watched the two interact from afar, hearing how they unintentionally flirted with each other was boiling his blood. jealous? no. can’t be.

“are you about to leave?” he heard jay ask her with his infamous smirk.

“yep, just waiting for my brother.” y/n beamed, showing him a bright smile that should’ve been for hoon.

the tall male rolled his eyes. she’s never that nice to him.

“i could take you home if you want?” jay asked, lips pressing into a line.

sunghoon’s heart dropped, sank even. taking her home? his arch rival? hell no.

he stepped into the scene with a firm jaw clench. arms folding in an irritated way, he spoke — “i’m gonna talk to y/n, no need to take her home.”

he stared down at jay, unintentionally burning holes into the boy who had accidentally got involved. no sense of indulging familiarity spoke in his eyes because all he could do was drag his enemy away with a tight grip on her wrist.

hoon brought her to a more secluded area, ignoring her confused whines to let go. he loosened his grip, letting go just to grasp her in his hands again. they dug into her shoulders as he pushed her back against the wall.

he furrowed his brows before keeping his gaze down, avoiding eye contact. y/n didn’t say anything as she stared at him in confusion.

only heavy breaths from him were heard before he angrily spat — “you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

his teeth gritted, digging his fingers deeper into her shoulders. he didn’t know why he was acting this way. he just couldn’t stand the fact that she was so close to jay after basically spending an entire day together.

y/n’s brows furrowed at his question. “what? what’s wrong with you? i was just talking to jay.”

hoon’s head picked up at her words, finally locking gaze in a softened look she’s never seen before. “does he mean anything to you?” he croaked in a husky voice.

“he’s just a friend. why are you even asking this? you’re not my boyfriend,” the girl scoffed with a slight smile. “you’d like to be though, wouldn’t you?”

“shut up,” he seethed in a stern expression. his softened eyes turned back to a glare. y/n quickly caught onto the pent up frustration in it, hinting that his test score added in on his outburst. “you don’t know how badly i wanted to pull you away from him today, how badly i should’ve shown him that you’re not his.”

sunghoon’s face inched closer to hers, noses delicately coming in contact. she could feel his breath on hers and all she could do was feel physically weak.

“i should’ve huh?” he uttered in a scoff, trailing his gaze from her lips and back to her eyes. “would you have liked that?”

their lips were close to connecting, grazing against each others. she’d pull in but he’d pull away, and when he’d pull in, she’d pull away as well.

✩ ‘i want you to give in, i want you to give in’ ✩

tension raised and so did their body heat. y/n’s hand was firmly pushed on his chest but she didn’t actually push him away, she just liked having the chance to have her hand lay there. she felt her heartbeats get louder within each second, chest heaving at how close he’s been getting.

✩ ‘there is tension between us’ ✩

“this is not like you, sunghoon.” her brows furrowed more. “you can’t be acting like this.”

“i can’t?” he cracked with a shit eating grin. “and why can’t i?”

his head cocked to the side before questioning with his eyes. “isn’t it better for us to act like this than us acting like enemies?” he inched his lips closer once more, letting just heavy breaths be audible to ears.

✩ ‘i just wanna give in’ ✩

y/n’s hands finally pushed against his chest. “control yourself, park. you’re not my boyfriend.” she repeated, face becoming stern.

“control myself?” he laughingly mocked. “you don’t know how much i’ve been doing that in front of you. i’ve been holding myself back this entire time from doing more, and you want me to control myself, now?”

✩ ‘it’s been a secret for the longest time’ ✩

sunghoon’s grip tightened around her shoulders once more, pressing her harder against the wall.

“look at me, pretty girl.” he spoke, letting one of his hands hold onto her chin.

y/n gulped. her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach at the sudden name change. she’s never seen this side of him before. it was new and unfamiliar, and she liked it.

✩ ‘i need you more than i want to’ ✩

hesitantly, she let her eyes fall on him.

he jerkily smiled, enjoying how his academic rival had now fallen under his touch.

“control myself?” sunghoon restated. “fine, i’ll control myself.”

he quickly backed away, grip loosening and letting go. he watched her fall into ease, hands clenching onto her chest to stop her rapid heartbeats.

a sly smirk curled onto his lips as he raised his brows. “see you tomorrow, nerd.” he uttered, walking away soon afterward so he could have the last say.

y/n stayed still in her stance. her sense of touch almost went numb as she tried to process all of what happened.

she suddenly felt her phone buzzing, indicating that her friend group was calling. her brows pinched together before declining the call, and texting that she’d join when she’d get home.

a breath of air left her mouth once she found a text notification from her rival, sunghoon.

park 👎🏼:

Let’s talk soon, pretty girl.

I don’t think I could ever control myself around you.

nothing would ever be the same between the two again.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

[theshadowrealmitself]

I’m on some weird side of TikTok that hates Gwen for some reason and I’m terrified of looking on tumblr and seeing if that’s just the majority opinion, but anyways my thoughts on it:

So most of the videos I’ve seen on hating Gwen are about her “not being there for Miles” and because “she didn’t tell him”, and I don’t think those people watched the movie because

1.) Gwen joined an organization. An organization with rules. An organization with rules with tracking technology. There’s no way that they would’ve been okay with her just visiting Miles. Yeah she visited other Spideys, but those Spideys were a part of the organization.

If they had caught her visiting Miles for no reason, which they would have most likely noticed immediately, if not because of the tracking technology, then because of Jessica checking in on her often as her mentor that vouched for her, she could have been kicked out of the organization. Which for Gwen meant going back to her universe where she’d either be homeless and on run from the law, or just in jail.

There was no way she could have just visited beforehand, and they most likely had her on strict rules on not contacting him too (because this is an organization that tries to prevent the multiverse from breaking down, there’s no way they didn’t have strict rules), but the second Gwen was able to go to his universe, the very first thing she does, is stop by his house.

In fact, her mission is a second priority to her, she just leaves a tracker where the Spot is going to be, and then focuses on spending time with Miles.

2.) She tells him, then what? Either he accepts it, and just,, waits for his dad to die, knowing it’s not an event that he’s allowed to change (to their knowledge), or he fights against it, which would be the natural instinct of a 15 year old hearing that a loved one they’re close to is about to be killed, which would then put his entire universe at risk.

You heard them, they can fix Pavitr’s timeline “if they’re lucky,” most likely if Miles saved his dad and his universe started collapsing, they might not be able to save it, then he doesn’t just lose his dad, he loses everyone (if they let him join the society, would he be able to if his universe goes or does he go with it?)

Yeah some of the Spideys have some suspicions on whether or not interfering with the canon actually does cause a universe to collapse, but the only for sure facts they have is that Miguel fucked with a universe’s canon and that universe fell apart, it’s too risky to test it out on a hunch, and y’all wanted her to still risk it? knowing that there’s a 50/50 chance Miles still tries to save his dad and accidentally takes down his whole universe???

Now we as the audience have different information, and we’re pretty sure Miguel is wrong about the canon events, but you gotta think about what the characters know in universe, and what Gwen knows is that a Spidey wouldn’t want to just sit back and let a loved one die, and that screwing with canon might cost someone waaaay more than just one loved one

So Gwen not telling Miles anything and not visiting him wasn’t actually her flaws in the movie, yeah we felt betrayed that she did that, because it’s from Miles’ pov and Miles felt betrayed, but just because we wished she had done something different, doesn’t mean that her actions were wrong

Tragically, knowing what she knew, her mistake in the movie wasn’t “not being there more for Miles,” it was actually being there for him and visiting him, instead of avoiding him and focusing on her mission to capture the Spot, because if she had done that, then she could’ve stopped him before he started screwing with the multiverse

[anonymous-dentist]

Okay I did some vod searching and here’s Cellbit’s pov of the prison announcement (in the form of a pretty badly clipped video lol)

A couple of things to note:

The silence

The stammer

The knife

The eyes

First, the silence, because it could be easy to miss from another pov because he was already pretty quiet before. But you can see the literal second it registers what Forever had just said because the change in the silence is palpable. He didn’t even raise his voice above the noise when he asked Forever if he was being serious.

Second, the stammer. This is a man who is very good at talking. Look at him during the presidential debates, nothing was able to keep him from talking, not even his own suicide. But then here he… can’t talk. He’s that shocked, and he’s terrified. See:

Third, the knife. Now this knife. Now this knife. It’s his emotional support murder knife. He only brings it out when he feels scared, and it’s gotta be a real deep fear for him to bring it out. It’s only been a few times, namely when he’s been triggered over his past, most notably when he and Richarlyson explored the Federation prison after Pac’s kidnapping.

And then fourth, the eyes. After he takes the knife out, Cellbit’s eyes flick back and forth between Forever the audience in what appears to be genuine confusion. Because, and this is important, Forever never told Cellbit about the prison. So between the fear and the Horrors, there’s some actual legitimate confusion in there because he didn’t know about this.

So now, after all that, let’s take a look at q!Cellbit’s character in general because I know there are people who don’t know about his very tragic backstory.

So Cellbit was in prison for… something. Probably murder tbh, but that was never confirmed. He was in prison with Pac e Mike and he was a really bad person. As in, murdering people, threatening people, ripping human ears off, stabbing, inciting riots (I think???). He killed Felps. He almost got Pac and Mike to kill each other.

And then, after being left to die alone on an island, Cellbit got some goddamn help for the first time in his life.

Before prison, he was in a war (ie the Hunger Games.) Then he was in prison, and the math is hunting towards him being incarcerated prior to his eighteenth birthday. He was 18-ish when he was in prison, and he’s 26 now, and he spent those eight years in therapy. Now he’s a better person, and he’s a very scared person.

He has many triggers, but the one that’s come up the most has been prison. He killed Abueloier that first time because they were in a prison-like cell. After hearing that Pac e Mike were arrested, he almost became another person as he interrogated Foolish (just watch that vod back, the whiplash is there.) When exploring the Federation’s prison, he was visibly on edge, clutching his emotional support murder knife and tensing when he saw all of the cells and almost stabbing Cucurucho when it appeared. Foolish asked if he could arrest him, Cellbit immediately turned him down, and he went behind his husband’s back to convince Foolish not to arrest him, either. (I’m not sure if he knows in-character about the prison cell in the new murder mystery game, but he will Not be happy if he gets put in there.)

So. Prison.

He wants to be a better person, is the thing. Cellbit doesn’t like thinking about who he was as Cell- he canonically even avoids cellphones when he can (see: Abueloier.) But he can’t help what happens when he’s triggered: he killed Abueloier, he almost attacked Cucurucho and risked his whole new infiltration plan. He’s worried about hurting someone again, because he knows he’s capable of it. He might not be the best at pvp, but that doesn’t matter when half the server is just as bad as he is (/affectionate.)

He doesn’t want to hurt his family, and there being a big huge physical trigger all of a sudden in the form of this prison he wasn’t ever told about has clearly made him realize that, oh shit, this could be bad. Bad for himself, and thus bad for others.

[outlaw-apologist]

Saved By The Gang | RDR2 x Reader

In which your SO saves you from your kidnappers! This was a request from AO3 :) Characters: Arthur, Hosea, Dutch, Sean, Charles GN!Reader Warnings for each story: Arthur: Graphic depictions of violence, cannibalism, and dismemberment Hosea: Graphic depictions of violence and human trafficking Dutch: Graphic depictions of violence, Dutch being himself Sean: Depictions of violence, use of strong language Charles: Graphic depictions of violence. Implied SA Notes: I kinda ended up writing these more from the characters POVs, so I hope that’s okay. I apologize for any errors of if my writing is bad. I’ve been struggling with insomnia so I'm not thinking great rn. I looked at this so much I kinda hate it lmao so I’m just gonna raw dog my mistakes :’) AO3 Link Arthur: Arthur had been gone for awhile doing the craziest things. He didn’t mean to be away from camp for so long, it just kinda happens. He decided to stop in Van Horn to finish up some quick business when he noticed your horse. Was it really-? Arthur’s eyes narrowed as he studied the markings on the horse’s coat. That definitely was your horse but you weren’t the one in the saddle. “Hey there partner.” Arthur made quick work crossing the road with long purposeful strides. “Where’d you get that there horse?”

The rider looked a bit flustered. “Isn’t’e a beaut? I found it just due south of Roanoke Valley all alone. Rider abandoned it so I thought I outta take ‘em in and give ‘em some good old lovin’.” “Roanoke Valley you say?” He scoffed. What the hell would you be doing up there? “Well, I know the owner of this fine horse and they wouldn’t just go off and leave like that. Where exactly did you find it?” “Listen Mister, I don’t want any trouble.” Agitation arose in the rider causing Arthur to throw his hands up in surrender. “No trouble here. I couldn’t care less about the horse. I just wanna make sure my friend is okay.” After careful consideration the stranger finally shrugged. “I found it drinking at the Kamassa river Northwest of Annesburg.” “Thank ya kindly.” Arthur tipped his head graciously. He hadn’t been up in that area before but the stories he heard weren’t great. This undoubtedly meant trouble. Arthur hardly mounted his horse before a bit of gossip reached his ears. “Another wagon disappeared near the mines. This time three women went missing.” “It’s gotta be that Murfree Brood. I heard they eat anyone they capture. Incestuous cannibals the lot of ‘em. Doubt we’ll ever see those poor women again.” “Shit!” A growl ripped from Arthur’s throat. His heels dug into his horse’s sides and he slapped the reigns. What if that were you? Kidnapped with those women? He needed to find you and fast. “C’mon Y/N. You better not be dead.” His heart pounded in his chest, wind whipping past as he cut off other riders on the trail in haste. He didn’t mean to be gone for so long… Away from YOU for so long… He always thought you understood it. His need to be everywhere and anywhere. And you did… You do… Yet, somehow, regret was eating at him like a deranged wolf. Snapping at the back of his mind, replaying memories upon memories of him returning to your arms after being away for ages. Arthur took for granted that you’d always be there when he gets back. He shouldn’t have left you as much as he does. He should have asked you to come with him. If you had business up in this region he could have been there to protect you. That horse is your world, he knows that. Maybe that’s why his mind was racing with so many regrets and thoughts.  That horse is your everything, if you weren’t on that horse you were probably seriously injured… or worse. That realization put a lot into perspective. It was always ‘What if I never return to Y/N?’ and never ‘What if Y/N never returns to me?’ “C’mon Morgan. Keep it together.” He had to shake these stormy thoughts away. Was it possible that he’d find you alright? Maybe a mild injury? Absolutely. But fuck, if it didn’t give him so much anxiety. Upon reaching the approximate area Arthur slowed his horse using gentle praises. “Easy now.” He reached out to pet it appreciatively, allowing his body filled with tension to drop down. Blue green eyes squinted while searching for clues or any sign of his beloved. Luckily Arthur picked up a few things while bounty hunting and it only took him ten or so minutes to find footprints he thinks matches yours. While following them he started noting how far apart your steps were. You were running. ‘Running from what?’ “Christ.” Arthur’s nose wrinkled just as the wind carried over the scent of rotting flesh. Sure enough there was a dead fellow not far from your tracks. The bullet casings surrounding the corps were definitely from your gun. Was this one of the cannibals? Arthur moved the body, flipping it over using his foot. He looked malnourished and white as paper. Even his clothes were rags. Arthur wasn’t really sure exactly what a cannibal looked like but if he had to take a guess, a cannibal would look like this feller right here. “Fuck, Y/N. What’ave you gotten yourself into?” Those sinking thoughts were back, dragging him into a pit of despair. Would he find your half eaten corpse somewhere in the woods? Are you still alive? Were you scared? You’re a shit significant other, Morgan. That’s what he told himself over and over again, shifting trough the bramble. What kind of man doesn’t know what his lover is up to? If he wasn’t so far up the ass of being ‘Arthur Morgan the big bad Outlaw’ he would know. Regret. Regret for not holding you in his arms every night. For not returning to you more often. He should have had more time with you. Should’ve spent every waking moment with you. How could he be so dense? This life was dangerous! He always stressed that to everyone who would listen. So why didn’t he spend all of his free time with you? None of you knew when your last breath would be taken, how could he waste so much precious life away from you? That fear only grew when those scared eyes focused on the disturbing image of human arms sewn together into some kind of hanging tree ornament. A gloved hand covered his mouth to suppress a gag. Gore wasn’t something that usually affected Arthur, but the thought that this could be you made him feel ill. At least he knew he was going in the right direction. It wasn’t long before he stumbled upon a couple of the Brood. He couldn’t hear the exact words being said because his ears immediately attuned to your cries of pain. Creeping closer in the grass, hand on his holster, Arthur grit his teeth at the scene playing out before him. Never in his life had he felt so much white hot rage. One of the sick fucks held you by the hair while another tried to pin you down. “We’re just gonna cut yer leg off!” He laughed. “What’re ya cryin’ for?” “No!” You screamed, desperately trying to fight against them. For three nights you watched in horror as the others captured were slaughtered, tortured, and eaten. Carved like Thanksgiving turkeys. For three whole nights you couldn’t sleep, drink, or eat because you were so terrified of these monsters. They saw how scared you were and they loved it. Milking every second of it. Because of your exhausted state fighting against them was grueling. “You killed our brother, it’s only fair.” A scream ripped through you just as your flesh tore against the blunt blade of a rusty sickle. “Get away!” Everyone froze, heads snapping towards the all too familiar voice. “Arthur?” “Y/N.” Arthur caught your gaze, a look of relief washing over him. You’re alive! “Hey! Who do you think you are coming hea-” The Brood member pulling your hair didn’t have enough time to finish his sentence before his head was blown off with a crackling BANG! Silence rang out after the loud pop from Arthur’s gun, then the mans body dropped. “You shot my brother!” “And I’ll shoot you too if you don’t get the fuck outta here!” With a click of his cattleman revolver, the last man scrambled up to run. “Too slow.” A dirty finger squeezed the trigger and down he fell. You simply stared as everything unfolded before you, your cries not subsiding but becoming much quieter. After all your pain and torment… All those people gutted like human sacrifices… Arthur killed your captors so easily. “Y/N.” His voice was gentle as he knelt beside you. Finally you shattered. Sobbing violently as soon as his arms enveloped you securely. You wanted to say his name. To tell him everything that had happened but couldn’t manage anything past blubbering incoherently. Never had Arthur felt so much heartbreak. Not from any loss or any breakup he had experienced so far. You’re one of the strongest people he knew. Seeing you look so small and afraid was devastating. Especially because this should have never happened to begin with. “I know.” Was all he could say. “Shhh, I know. You’re okay.” While embracing you with one arm he peered over to inspect your thigh. “I know darlin’, I don’t wanna let you go but I need to stop the bleeding.” He quickly hushed the whimper that passed your lips upon feeling his body shift away. Arthur’s fingers trembled, fumbling with his bandanna. Christ, this affected him more than he ever could’ve imagine. It took a minute but finally he managed to tie it above your wound to limit your bloodflow before immediately picking you up. Arthur made sure you could hide your face in his chest so you didn’t have to look at any of the hanging dismemberments on your way out. “God Y/N.” His arms around you were tight. “It’s okay. I’ll protect you. It’s okay now.” He tried to console you. To console himself. Hell, if he were in your shoes this would be more traumatizing for him than the Colm O’Driscolle ordeal. He could only imagine how you feel. Arthur couldn’t even bring himself to sit you on his horse yet. The moment you were in fresh woods he dropped to his knees and held you. Rocking you, kissing your hair and breathing in your scent. Sweet nothings fell from his lips in soft shaky whispers. Pads of calloused thumbs wiping away every tear from your cheeks. All you could do was cry and cling to him. All he could do was hold you as if it were for the last time. And it almost was. The last time. “How’d you find me?” After what seemed like hours of you two embracing each other, Arthur finally helped you onto his horse and you were on your way back to camp. “Saw some feller in Van Horn ridin’ your horse. Complete coincidence.” Arthur could feel how tense that statement made you so he added quickly, “Don’t worry. I’ll get your horse back. I just wanted to make sure you were safe first.” “Thank you, Arthur. For everything.” “I know how much you love that horse, it’s nothin’.” “No, I mean… Thank you for always being there when I need you.” Silence washed over the both of you. Arthur didn’t know how to respond. “I’m sorry darlin’.” You could feel him arm gently tighten around you in a loose hug. “I could’ve lost you tonight. I got to thinkin’ and… I know I haven’t been the best to you. I always prioritize everyone else. It shouldn’t be like that.” “Oh Arthur-” “I’m serious. I’ve lost Mary and Eliza. Most of my friends are long cold in their graves. I don’t know nothin’ about gods or divine intervention. Don’t know if something led me to you or not this time around….. I guess I was always feelin’ sorry for you because you’re datin’ a walkin’ target. Thought some space between us might do us some good in case I die. Never did I once consider life without you.” Arthur let out a hollow laugh which lacked any mirth or warmth. “What a fool I’ve been. I ain’t never learn my lesson. Tonight showed me that, that’s for damn sure. I dunno what you were doin’ out here but for now on if I leave camp I’m not going anywhere without you.” An exhausted smile reached your lips. “Good. My handsome man, it’s always been you and me. You just had to ask.” “You and me, huh? I like the sound of that.” You fell asleep in Arthur’s arms long before you reached camp. Arthur held you when you arrived, petting your hair as Ms. Grimshaw stitched up your leg. Arthur was needy after your attack. He never let you out of his sight and would always insist on holding you. Especially during nightmares that plagued you for months after the accident. Arthur stayed up singing to you and rocking you for many many long nights. And, of course, he got your horse back! How he did it or by what means, you didn’t care to ask. Slowly life returned to normal and the incident was long behind you both. Arthur kept his promise to take you everywhere until the very end. ___ Hosea: Five minutes. He took his eyes off of you for FIVE minutes so he could speak to the owner of a fence in San Denis while you waited for him outside, and you were gone. “Y/N?” He called out in confusion, scanning the sidewalks and streets for any sign of you. At first he’s annoyed. Did you wander off without saying anything? Hosea waved over the nearest group of men lingering nearby. “Good day. You wouldn’t happen to have seen my associate hanging around out here, would you? They seemed to have disappeared.” One of the men nodded. “Oh yeah, some nasty business I tell ya.” Well shit. “Nasty?” Hosea cocked his head, resting his hand over his holstered gun. “How so?” “These crazies came and bonked them over the head, saying they owed money or somthin’. Decided to mind my own business because they’re all brandishing guns.” “Money, huh? What way did they go?” “That way.” He pointed Eastward. “Towards the docks.” Tipping his hat, Hosea made his way down the sidewalk. He looked both ways before crossing the road, grabbing onto the trolley as it passes, riding the step until he reached the docks. The sun was setting but he knew your form like the back of his hand. It wouldn’t be too hard to spot you against the fire of the sky. However, you nor the supposed men were anywhere in sight. “Excuse me.” He flagged down a sailor and asked him if he’s seen you. He had not. Neither had the other five people he asked. Hosea knew this wasn’t good. The trail ran cold, leaving him hopeless.  There was nothing he could do but return to Shady Belle with a heavy heart. As your husband he was always supposed to protect you. Never in a million years did he think you’d be snatched away right under his nose. Mounting Silver Dollar, Hosea struggled to hold his tears at bay. The city was starting to suffocate him and he needed to leave in order to breathe and think. The weight of the world was finally settling into his old bones on the ride back. The horror the gang had experienced the last few months was devastating. The Blackwater incident aside – Arthur’s escape from Colm, Sean’s death, little Jack’s kidnapping…. Dutch wasn’t listening to reason anymore. The gang was in shambles and now… He let out a defeated sob, hanging over his horse for privacy. What was he supposed to do without you? You’re all he has left. His entire world. What if he wouldn’t be able to find you? It all happened so quickly. To think only an hour ago you were fixing his shirt collar, hanging on his arm with a smile on your face and now POOF! Gone. This was the last drop in the bucket for Hosea. Suddenly he couldn’t stop his tears no matter how hard he tried. He was tired. So god damn tired. Silver Dollar slowed to a stop just off the road. If anyone who passed-by peered close enough through the darkness they could make out the silhouette of a broken man with his head in his hands. He kicked himself for stalling your rescue. Precious time finding you, wasted. By the time he made it back to camp it was late into the night. Dragging himself up the stairs of Shady Belle he knocked on the door to Dutch’s room. Candlelight could be seen flickering through the crack of the doorway leading to Hosea believe he must still be awake. Silence. He knocked again, this time Hosea could hear the bed squeak. “You better have a good reason to disturb me.” Those words flew sharply through the cold humid air. “Dutch…” Hosea would have cursed himself for sounding so… weak. Calling out his friend’s name with a wavering voice. It was noticeable enough to immediately draw Dutch’s attention. The bed squeaked under Dutch’s weight then heavy footsteps led to the door. Hosea kept his gaze down, watching Dutch’s shadow as he moved until the door creaked open and the faint candlelight illuminated Hosea in contrast against the inky hallway. “Hosea- What happened?” “Y/N… I don’t know, it all happened so fast.” Wrapping an arm around Hosea, Dutch led him inside, guiding him to sit. “What happened to Y/N?” “I was looking for a buyer for the bonds we have left, asked them to wait outside because I was just going to be a moment. I stepped out and Y/N was gone. Apparently a group of men took them towards the docks. I tried not to arouse suspicion, I-… Maybe I should’ve gotten there faster, I don’t know…” He shook his head as if to clear it. “Y/N wasn’t there. I may have been too late.” “Someone just took them? In broad daylight?” “Just like that.” Hosea snapped his fingers. “Somethin’ aint right.” Rubbing his chin quizzically, Dutch began pacing the room. “Y/N isn’t stupid, they would’ve screamed or something. You really didn’t hear anything?” He paused to watch Hosea shake his head. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Staring down at his hands, Hosea slowly uncurled his fingers, watching the light dance over his palms. “It was a setup.” “It was a setup.” His friend repeated. “But by who?” “Could be Milton.” “I don’t think so. He’s a thorn in our side. If it were Milton he would’ve showed up in our camp already. Waving Y/N around like a prize.” “That’s very true…” Hosea only looked up when he heard Dutch abruptly halt. “It can’t be….” “What?” “Perhaps… Bronte had a hand in this? I don’t think we’ve done anything to cross him but he’s the only man in the city who could kidnap anyone in broad daylight and not a soul would tell.” He could feel the relief wash through him, the possibility bringing him a weird sense of comfort. He hoped it was Bronte. That would mean you’re probably safe and sound somewhere just like Jack was. “We’ll get Y/N back, Hosea. Let me pull some strings. We’ll find them.” The strings were pulled quite quickly as Hosea found himself waiting outside yet another fabulous party for Arthur to return. “It wasn’t Bronte.” His heart sank. “It wasn’t? Are you sure?” “Pretty sure.” Arthur leaned against the residential fence while lighting a cigarette. He was gussied up to fit the mood. “Asked around ‘n’ nobody had a clue what I was sayin’. I did, however, get this.” Held out between two fingers was a business card. Interested, Hosea accepted it. “Exotic Imports and… Impurities?” “Human trafficking. They apparently have these masquerade parties where rich folk can bid on people anonymously. I think that’s where Y/N is.” God… Was Saint Denis truly such a shit hole? He knew this place was low, but a human trafficking ring? “Are you sure?” Arthur met Hosea’s gaze with the most sincere look he could muster. “Hosea-” “I know you wouldn’t lie to me dear boy.” “I heard someone mentioning there’ll be an auction there this Friday. They mentioned someone who sounds pretty darn close to Y/N’s description in the lineup. I’ll scope the place out, maybe we can rescue Y/N sooner than that. And if not…” Hosea tucked the card into his pocket. “I guess we’re attending the masquerade.” Arthur knows how much you and Hosea are sweet on each other. How hard it was for Hosea after Bessie’s passing and how you brought life back into him. Arthur would do anything for you. So when he had to scope out where the auction will take place he took the job very seriously. He wanted to get you out as soon as possible if you were really there. The place was heavily armed, much to his dismay. An open window was easy enough to sneak into but getting you out was near impossible. He couldn't even find you. However, in a back room Arthur discovered a pile of discarded clothing. A shoe caught his eye, one he knew you wore often. Before he was able to grab it Arthur had to leave as the area filled with guards. “Y/N is in there alright. Too busy for me to get ‘em.” He reported back upon his return to camp. That’s how Hosea, Dutch, Arthur, Bill, Micah, and Charles found themselves attending one of the most unnerving ‘parties’ in San Denis on a muggy Friday evening. They looked expensive, dressed down to the newest shoes on the market. Each donning their own masquerade mask. The building looked beautiful. Expensive. Guest flooded the entrance. “Guns aren’t allowed at this event.” A doorman held his hands out while the gang handed over their weapons. They weren’t worried. If everything was going according to plan John and Javier should already be inside posing as security. Upon entering the mansion, the gang mingled and sweet-talked everyone they could. Trying to get information, word of your safety, anything. One by one they slipped out of the room to John or Javier who gave their guns back to them before joining the guests in the auction room. The auction room was massive, theatrical even. Women in glorious gowns, men who’s suits cost more than a house, they all gathered with glasses filled with alcohol of their choosing. Chatting and laughing as if they’re about to watch a play. Hosea’s stomach churned. The curtains opened to reveal the first person to be auctioned. It was a young girl trembling and sobbing. He gripped the armrest of his seat, knuckles turning white. One by one these people were being bid on. “7,000 dollars. Do I hear 7,000 dollars? 7,500. 8,000 to the man in white!” All of this stress made him want to down glass after glass of alcohol. If he didn’t need to be clear headed he would’ve. “Next up, folks, is person number 9.” You were shoved onstage. Even though your face was covered he recognized you immediately. Almost a week ago you were idly waiting outside, gazing down at your clothing trying to fix a button when you were struck from behind. Blurry vision greeted you after, god only knows how long you were unconscious. Blinking it away you tried to move but to no avail. Hands and feet bound, you were left alone in a cold room. Little light trickled into your cell. You could hear the cries and pleas of other people who were presumably prisoners too. Every time you tried to snap at or fight against the guards they beat you. They fed you just enough food and water to keep you barely alive. It was hell. Every night you prayed someone would find you. Anyone! Hosea, Arthur- were they looking for you? It had been so long…. “Get up.” You snapped awake with a groan as you were kicked. The guard pulled you up, dragging you to get washed and dressed. Stumbling into a back room after being shoved, you blinked at all the faces staring back at you. These were the people you heard crying at night. “What’s happening?” You whispered. Only one woman was brave enough to speak up. Her low voice shook with emotion. “They’re selling us.” “What!?” “Be quiet or I’ll make you quiet!” A guard snarled at you, causing you to shy away. For hours you listened silently to the auction from backstage. Was this really happening? It felt so surreal. Fear filled you as the line moved forward until you were next. A bag was forced onto your head so you couldn’t see. Fingers dug into your arms, you could feel yourself being dragged onto the stage, causing you to stumble. “Next up, folks, is person number 9.” Your breath hitched painfully. Heart racing loudly. This is it. You were about to be sold as person number 9. Bracing yourself for the bidding a loud boom crackled beside you, so loud it made your ears ring. Your head snapped in the direction it came from. Not being able to see anything, panic arose within you as the screams and sounds of running reached you. The crowd was fleeing for their lives! Gunshots popped off in the surrounding area. You ducked down in case any bullets flew your way. “Y/N!” “H-Hosea?” The bag was lifted off your head, beaming lights above glared into your eyes causing you to squint. Hosea’s face slowly came into view. He wrapped his arms around you, throwing you over his shoulder. “I’d love to have a romantic reunion with you, my dove, but I’m afraid we’re in the midst of a shootout.” “I can see that.” You groaned, hanging onto him. For an older man he sure did carry you with ease while shooting his way out with the gang backing him up on either side. “Hosea, let’s go!” Dutch shot the guard who blocked off the door. Hosea had to pass you to Arthur, who barreled through a cloud of bullets with you safely tucked in his arms. He was able to reach the rendezvous carriage, placing you inside before anyone else could enter. Hosea slid in and gathered you in his arms. “Drive, damn it!” He called out, causing the carriage to lurch violently before moving. “Oh Y/N. Oh my little dove.” He carefully looked you over as tears filled your eyes. You were shaking, veins pumping with adrenaline. Your rescue happened so quickly it made your head dizzy. Hosea’s hands were gentle as he touched you in case anything hurt or scared you in your shaken state. He examined every inch. Face was pensive, while taking in every mark and bruise on your delicate skin. “Are you seriously hurt anywhere?” “No.” You whispered, pressing against your husband for comfort. He gladly held you, kissing your lips over and over again. “I’m sorry it took me so long my love. I shouldn’t have let you out of my sight.” Hosea rest his head atop yours and rubbed circles on your back soothingly. “Let’s get you back to camp and fed.” “Thank you.” You nuzzled him, breathing in his comforting scent. “I knew you’d come for me. I missed you.” “I missed you too.” The rest of the ride was quiet. When the carriage parked outside of Shady Belle, Hosea scooped you up immediately. You gasped as the whole gang rushed  over to greet you. “Y/N’s back!” Abigail announced. “Oh Y/N, I’m so glad you’re safe!” Mary-Beth gushed with relief. Even Pearson was there to see you. “Welcome home Y/N. Camp ain’t the same without ya.” “Thank you everyone.” You let out a watery laugh, heart filled with love. You were so appreciated amongst this group and it showed. Hosea brought you inside, cleaning you carefully. He asked if anything hurt or if anyone touched you and you responded with yes or no. He clothed you in his own clothes, hoping his scent would bring comfort. A warm bowl of stew was pushed into your hands. Hosea held you while you ate and snuggled you up until you went to bed. He played with your hair all night, unable to sleep after losing you. ___ Dutch: Dutch doesn’t notice you’re gone until the ransom note arrives. “$3,000 in exchange for your lover?” He scoffed. “Who does he think he is? We’ll light his ass up.” The page was quickly crumpled in his hand. Dutch felt a deadly fury rise in him so great his own blood ran colder than the Upper Montana river. Colm O'Driscoll won’t get away with it this time. Not after what he’s done to Dutch’s past lover and to Arthur. “Dutch, I think we should be cool about this one. He already captured me to draw you in for the Pinkertons. He’s probably not done try’nna cut his deal with ‘em. If we ride in hot-” “Not now, Arthur. A few Pinkertons we can handle. This is Y/N we’re talking about, for Christ’s sake.” He scoffed, face snarling up in anger. “Y/N would have come for you, dear boy, had we known you were taken. Y/N would have come for you.” Arthur heaved out a sigh. He still wasn’t fully well after the green gang shot him up. “I know, Dutch. I love Y/N just as much as anyone. We ain’t ever leave one of us behind. I just think… If they want to draw us in they’ll treat Y/N right. If it’s a trap it’ll make more sense for us to come in quiet and get Y/N outta there safely.” “We don’t have time!” Dutch grabbed his gun, much to Arthur and Hosea’s exasperation. “Dutch, I know you love Y/N, but I think Arthur may be right.” “Who’s side are you on, Hosea? If that were you we would already be on the road.” He waved his gun around before holstering it. The air in camp was tense. Dutch seemed… Unsettled. Unpredictable. His eyes were crazy. Love made him crazy. “Who’s with me? John, Micah, Bill?” John and Arthur exchanged looked while Bill jumped up eagerly. Micah seemed interested but didn’t bother grabbing anything extra like the others. “I’m comin’ with you.” Arthur’s shoulders fell. He followed Dutch through camp up to The Count which Dutch mounted with ease. “No, dear boy. You rest. Watch the camp with Hosea, we should be back before dawn.” “Alright, if you say so. Be careful out there Dutch. Things are getting nasty. Bring Y/N home.” “Oh, I intend to.” With the rescue party ready Dutch rode out with his boys. “If you see an O’Driscoll, shoot. If you see a Pinkerton, shoot. We leave no one alive. Not even the women. If Colm wants to play, we’ll play. By our rules.” John moved up beside Dutch, calling out over the whistling wind. “Are you sure about this Dutch? What if Y/N gets hurt?” “Y/N isn’t getting hurt.” The words were spoken as if John’s idea was ludicrous. “Now you boys know how I feel about Y/N. And I-… Well, call me foolish, but I’ll never let any man, beast, or tycoon lay a finger on the love of my life. The moment we slaughter his sons he’ll know we mean business. Colm is many things, but stupid he is not. He knows hurting Y/N would give us cause to burn his world down piece by piece and I don’t think he could take the heat.” “As is your right, Dutch.” Micah spoke up. “The O'Driscolls should know by now you’re a kind and just man. I’m sure they understand the reckoning hurting their assets would bring.” Feeding into Dutch’s anger pleased the gang leader. “That’s what I thought.” He agreed. The rest of the ride was tense with anticipation. John knew there was nothing he could say. He just hoped you’d survive all of this. Dutch was getting sloppy and with you involved… He would slaughter the whole world if he had to. “We’re here.” Dutch announced. Night had long fallen by the time they reached the O’Driscoll hideout. “Let’s make a little noise. Micah-” Riding closer to the compound, Micah lit a stick of dynamite, throwing it over the fence. Dutch watched with great pleasure as the O’Driscoll boys caught in the blast began to scream. “Let’s show them you don’t fuck with Dutch van der Linde.” The guns came out. Time slowed down, men began to rush at them. The Count reared, spooked by the sudden barrage of bullets. Dutch shot every single O’Driscoll effortlessly, one by one. You were beginning to think Dutch wasn’t coming. Why would he after Arthur outed Colm’s setup a week ago? They had kicked your face in until your mouth filled with blood and your nose cracked in three different places. Breathing was hard with your damaged ribs. The O’Driscoll’s wasted no time in beating you to a bloody pulp before tying you up. The way you were tied was ridiculous. Your hands and feet were tied separately then were tied together to ensure you wouldn’t be able to move an inch. You guessed Arthur’s escape was a sore spot. You struggled and fought until the ropes dug angry marks, rubbing the skin away. In all honestly you usually would have half a mind to spit at or curse any O’Driscoll out, however this seemed different. It was grim, very grim. You remember how scary it was watching Arthur collapse off his horse barely alive and wondered – would you make it? Surely they won’t let an escape happen again... Dutch would probably move camp, you thought. And if you could survive… I don’t know, a week longer, he’ll come and get you. These were the thoughts running through your head while you tried to plan your survival. ‘It’ll be torture, but I can last that long’, you reassured yourself. It didn’t work. Colm killed Dutch’s girl way back, what’s stopping him from doing it again? You knew the man had a nasty streak to him. And Dutch… well... killing you sure would make Dutch slip up enough to get caught. That bastard Colm just wanted to see him hang. Many many thoughts occupied your mind as you dozed off. Aches and pains were screaming at you so being unconscious was probably best. At the brink of sleep you were jolted wide awake by a loud explosion. You froze, halting your breath, straining your ears to listen. Silence. What’s going on? BANG BANG BANG! Dutch- It had to be him! Your face lit up with hope, eyes fixated on the door. Any minute now... The O’Driscoll’s screamed, cursed, and cried out. “Get ‘em!” “Don’t let them inside!” “We gotta hold this for Colm!” Despite anticipating its happening you still flinched back when the door was kicked in. “Y/N.” Dutch sighed out of relief. Kneeling down he cut you loose, brushing the hair from your face. You both were quiet. Just taking each other in. You because you had missed him, and him because he was stunned by how badly you were beaten. “Those animals. We’ll make ‘em pay.” Dutch’s words were said more to himself than to you. “I’m alright, I can walk, I think-” Helping you up, Dutch’s eyes filled with sadness when he noticed you wincing. He could hear your chest heave with pain and it was grading against his eardrums. “I’ll carry you. Just hang on, we haven’t cleared them all yet.” Scooping you into his chest, your arms were granted purchase around his neck. Dutch was stronger than he looked. He held onto you with one arm wrapped tightly to secure you while shooting any man who ran this way with the other. “Bastards! They’re everywhere! John, Micah, let’s go!” “You get Y/N?” John asked after shooting three more men. There were so many O’Driscolls they couldn’t even take their eyes off them to check on you. “Yeah. Let’s get outta here.” Micah covered Dutch’s right while John covered his left and back. They shot the best they could until finally they were free of the building. Dutch placed you on The Count, climbing behind you. The others quickly mounted seeing as there was no way they’d win this gun battle if they stayed. “Shit! Incoming!” Bill cried out, alerting everyone to the drove of Pinkerton galloping straight towards the gang’s direction. “God dammit!” Jerking the reigns, Dutch kicked his horse into action. “This way, c’mon! Let’s lose them through the trees. We gotta hope we can outrun them.” There you were, rocketing towards salvation on a white horse. Pinkertons and O’Driscolls crashing down around you like violent ocean waves. There was so much noise to the point where your ears rang in an effort to tune it all out. Breath didn’t leave your body. Time slowed. You watched in horror. Every bullet shot by John seemed to take ages before knocking down its opponent. Bill was screaming yet not a word of it reached you. You could feel Dutch’s arm wrap tighter and tighter around your waist. Suddenly you’re soaring through the air, hair flying back against the dusty breeze. This was it. The moment of truth. The Count’s feet touched down  after leaping over a fence and suddenly time returned to normal and everything sped up in your race for life. Your heart thuds erratically, clammy hands clinging to the saddle for dear life. “Duck!” Dutch ordered and you immediately lowered your head before a low hanging branch creamed you. You stayed low Dutch’s body now covering you protectively. You couldn’t see and had no idea what was going on. Your own breathing was so loud at this point it took you awhile to register – the shooting had stopped. There was no more screaming, no more calling out or angry orders being shouted. Only the sound of four horses huffing and puffing and your own shaky breaths filled the air. “My love… Are you alright?” Dutch lifted himself off of you, his horse slowing to rest. “I…. I think so.” You gazed down at your hands and arms before looking at Dutch with wide traumatized eyes. “Oh, my little bird. I’m so sorry they hurt you. I came as soon as I could. They’ll pay for this.” Something sinister swirled behind his eyes but his fingers were gentle against your skin while caressing your face. “Come now, let’s get you cleaned up and to bed. You need rest.” Dutch kissed your shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re here now. So glad.” ___ Sean: Sean thought you were mad at him. Avoiding him for some awful comment he made because he, yet again, went too far. It hurt his feelings but he decided you’d probably come back when you were ready to see him again. “Sean, have you seen Y/N?” Mary-Beth asked. “I haven’t seen Y/N since yesterday morning.” Sean’s heart fell to the pit of his stomach. You weren’t the type to leave camp often or without someone accompanying you. “Christ, I haven’t. Where’d you last see them?” “Over by Kieran. I already asked him and he said Y/N helped with the horses then wandered off.” “An’ no one saw them come back?” He began power walking through camp, searching the area for you. “Has anyone seen Y/N?” Tilly and Uncle shook their heads, John just gave a shrug. “That isn’t weird to any of yous?” His voice was raised enough to get the attention of Arthur who had just rode in. “What’s goin’ on now?” “Y/N is fucking missing and no one said a damn word about it.” “Alright, alright calm down. I’m sure we can find them, where were they last?” “Oh I don’t know English, lemme just take this crystal ball out of my ass-” Sean rolled his eyes while grabbing his gun. “We’re gonna have to track them down. Think you can do that?” “Well…” Arthur wipes the sweat from his brow. “Charles taught me a few things.” He paused, gently catching Sean’s shoulder. “I know you’re upset but I need you to keep your head. I’m sure wherever Y/N is they’re okay. We’ll get them back safe.” “Speak for yourself, I always keep my wits.” “That right there is what I’m worried about.” Arthur huffed while mounting his horse. Sean was silently grateful for Arthur’s words though he’d never admit it. There was a storm churning inside of him. An ocean of guilt rocking his consciousness. If only he respected your boundaries and didn’t make that joke maybe you wouldn’t have gone missing. “We’ll bring Y/N back safe.” He repeated to himself, climbing onto his saddle. Arthur gave him an affirmative nod. They rode around the outskirts of Clemens Point looking for any sign of you. Sean felt like throwing up the whole entire time. Suspense was killing him. “Over here!” Air left his lungs in relief as soon as Arthur’s voice broke through the thick air. Walking his horse over, that relief was short lived. “Fuck.” Sean hissed. Arthur held a ripped piece of fabric clearly bloodied. The fabric was from something you wore often making it was unmistakable. “Looks like three riders were here. ‘Dunno who they could be, but…” Morgan hesitated, knowing Sean probably shouldn’t hear the next part. “There was quite the struggle.” The Irishman cursed, kicking at a nearby stone, sending it throttling into the trees. “I’ll kill every last one of ‘em! I swear it.” The Van der Linde boys followed the hoof prints best they could, using other clues to figure out what way your kidnappers may have turned when the trail disappeared. With each passing minute Sean’s knuckles turned more and more white around his reigns. “I shouldn’t have said anything. This is my fault.” His feelings were so big inside of him they spilled out of his lips like a broken dam. “I’m a right bastard.” “You two have a fight?” “Sort of… We was fuckin’ around and Y/N got sick of me and asked me to stop teasing them but they look so cute when they’re angry I just- I don’t know.” He hung his head. Arthur studied him silently as they rode. “Well… Sounds about right for you two. I’m sure Y/N wouldn’t blame you.” “Maybe not, English, but I blame myself. I just hope they’re okay.” They didn’t talk any more after that unless to comment on the path changing. A few hours away from camp they came across smoke indicating a fire, right in the general direction of your kidnappers. “Must be them.” Sean was ready to charge in, but Arthur’s hand shot out across Sean’s chest, stopping him in his tracks. “We should get to higher ground first, see what we’re dealing with.” “Are you crazy? Y/N could be there!” “That’s exactly why we can’t rush in like fools! What happened to keepin’ your wits? Do you want Y/N getting shot?” Sean’s mouth opened and closed, words getting choked up in his throat. The thought of you getting shot was about to bring tears to his eyes. Shoulders slumping forward, he sucked in a shuddering breath. “Let’s go look up that hill.” “That’s better.” Arthur snapped his kicked his feet, leading his horse higher with Sean close behind. Sean wasn’t playing around now. Knowing you might be close and that you were probably hurt- It took everything in him to quench ranging fire burning within. He whipped out his binoculars, setting eyes on the men surrounding the campfire. “Stupid Lemoyne fucks.” “Do you see Y/N?” Arthur asked. Sean moved his binoculars with his turning head. “I’ve got eyes on them. They’re tied to a wagon just outside of where they’re sitting.” He bit his lip while taking in your sorry form. You were filthy, bloodied, and your face was swollen. They clearly didn’t treat you kindly. “Let’s kill those fucks, Morgan. My baby needs me.” Without another word Sean tucked the binoculars away, charging full force down the hill, cattleman revolver in hand. He managed to shoot one guy in the throat, ducking on his horse to avoid the flying bullets. His horse galloped straight for you, stopping just shy with the intention of creating a barrier between you and the shootout. Arthur did most of the shooting while Sean nearly flung himself off his horse to cut you free. “Oh my baby! What did those bastards do to you?” He gently cleaned your face with his handkerchief, ignoring all the gory sounds echoing from behind. Sean didn’t even notice when everything became silent. You had his full undivided attention. “Sean!” You wept, wrapping your arms around his neck to bury your face into his chest. “I’m sorry baby. I should’ve never let you out of my sight. I’ve got you, my rose. I’m here now.” He kissed your hair, rubbing your back. “Did they hurt you real bad?” Tears now stung his eyes when you nodded. It was difficult seeing you this way. He loves you more than anything else in the world, seeing his partner so beaten and broken- “Shhhh. We’ll make it better.” Sean attempted to calm his tears, crying silently while burying his face in your hair. His chest was warm and welcoming after what you’ve endured. Even though every bone in your body ached all you wanted to do was hug him and you were grateful he didn’t pull away immediately and put you on a horse. “I love you. So much. I was so scared.” You whimpered. “I know, I know I’m so sorry Y/N. About everything. I should’ve never pushed your buttons. I thought you ran away.” “What?” You pulled away in confusion, studying his face. “Sean… You think I’m upset about that?” It was cute seeing Sean feel guilty over a minor playful argument, something you both have often, and you couldn’t help but to giggle. “Don’t be silly.” You reached up, wiping away his tears. Confused, Sean gently caught your hand, pressing kisses to your palm while examining the bruising on your skin. “I guess that’s who I am when I’m with you, Y/N. A silly man. C’mon now.” Carefully you were scooped up into a loving embrace. Sean placed a peck on your lips. He was afraid of hurting you further so he treated you as though you were made of glass. Once you were in his saddle he pulled himself up behind you. “Let’s get you to camp, baby. I’ll make you feel better there.” “Thank you.” You pressed your back against him in relief. Exhaustion flooded your still trembling body. You never had any doubt Sean would come for you but the experience of the Lemoyne Raiders kicking your face in was rather traumatic. “Glad to see you’re okay L/N.” Arthur shot you a little smile. “Sean here was real riled up about your disappearance. Nearly bit my head off.” A faint smile crossed your lips. You winced as your skin pulled on a bruise. “Thank you for coming too, Arthur. If you weren’t here I don’t think he would have been able to rescue me.” “Oh not this again!” Sean groaned. His arm was wrapped loosely around you and he still pressed an odd kiss to your hair here or there. “I would've done just fine!” “You shot one bullet!” Arthur pointed out with a laugh. “Then you flung yourself over your lover like some actor in one of those dramas. If I weren’t here you and Y/N would be riddled with holes by now.” “I love you Arthur Morgan, but shut up. I killed that fellow with one shot! ONE!” “What was stopping you from killing the rest of ‘em?” “Y/N needed me!” “See if I didn’t come-” “Shut up Morgan!” Listening to their familiar arguments was the best welcome home you could’ve ever wished for. Your eyes fell shut as you listened and soon the pain shooting through you and the exhaustion of being awake and afraid all night  started catching up. Slowly your body fell limp against Sean’s chest. You were only faintly aware of his arm tightening around you, keeping you safely on the horse. It was pitch black when you came to. Fear shot you awake, your eyes scanning the darkness. “Sean?” You could hear an exhausted exhale to your right, a hand reached out from the black to gently pet your hair. “I’m here baby.” There was some fumbling then a match lit, illuminating your lover who had fallen asleep sitting next to you. Sean lit a lantern and that’s when you noticed you were laying in Arthur’s cot. “We thought it best to give you some privacy until you’re in tip top shape. Said I wasn’t allowed to sleep with you in it though.” Sean leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m just glad to have you back. Get some rest, no one will hurt you now. I’m here.” Relaxing again your fingers laced with Sean’s as you settled back in to sleep. ____ Charles: Charles usually minded his own business whenever you fucked off outta camp for a few days. You had been running with the gang far longer than he has and everyone knew you to be quite capable. God only knows what you’re up to half the time. Similar to Arthur, you’d go off and do your own thing then return with money or a fresh kill and a story of your adventures. Charles likes that about you. He admires your independence and how you have so much strength. When you didn’t show up to camp for a week he didn’t think anything of it. You were probably off climbing waterfalls or helping strangers. The gang carried on as normal unless Dutch wanted to offload a job onto you, then he’d ask around. “Charles.” Dutch called him over with a waggle of his finger. He already heard him calling your name and asking the ladies if they’ve seen you so Charles had an inkling as to what this was about. “Can you go find Y/N? I don’t care what it takes, just get their ass over here. We have money to make.” Charles didn’t mind being asked. Any reason to get some peace and quiet and reunite with you was a good reason in his eyes. The problem was, you were flightly, and your tracks were old. It has rained twice since you left camp. Charles followed your prints the best he could. Up into Strawberry, then to Mt.Shann where he took a break to enjoy the view and watch the birds. Charles smiled a little when he saw you had set camp there at one point. It was a beautiful place to stay, he would have done the same. He then doubled back to Owanjila lake where you had your second camp. He wondered what you were doing in the area, having absolutely no clue. He did, however, chuckle to himself when he found one of your gloves that you must have dropped. “Oh, Y/N.” The words slipping from his lips were fond and warm. He scooped the glove up deciding to store it in Taima’s saddle bag then he carried on his way. Charles began to get confused when your trail led straight back to Valentine. So… you were close to camp and didn’t stop by to rest your horse or grab supplies? That’s very unlike you. These tracks were fresher, not more than a few days old if even. Your lover became frustrated when entering town as the hoof prints belonging to your horse became lost in the bustle of main street and Charles couldn’t pick them up again. “Excuse me. Have you seen-” He began stopping residence of Valentine, asking of your whereabouts. You had been seen at the arms store and according to the man at the front desk of the Saints Hotel you stopped by for a wash only a day before. Well… If you were here yesterday you’ll probably be back at camp soon. After thanking the clerk, Charles returned to Horseshoe Overlook to inform Dutch you’d be back soon. The next day Charles awoke early. “Mr. Smith, can you please go into town and get us some supplies? Normally L/N does it but they ain’t back yet. Ms. Grimshaw ain’t too pleased.” He was attempting to enjoy his early morning coffee when Karen approached him. “Sure.” He set his cup down, accepting the list. “Did Pearson add what he needed?” “He only asked for corn.” He raised a brow in amusement, sharing a knowing look with Karen. “I understand.” Tucking it away safely Charles finished his coffee, throwing the rest out, then made his way to Taima. Your whereabouts weighed heavily on his mind during his ride into Valentine. ‘I miss Y/N’, he thought to himself ‘I hope they return soon’. Camp just wasn’t the same without you. He liked the gang alright but he liked you more. Valentine was a breath of fresh air after Blackwater. Quite literally. Charles took deep breaths, breathing in the crisp mountain air before entering town. Taima was soon hitched outside the general store where Charles leisurely strolled in. He walked around, footsteps echoing in the empty room as he gazed at the shelves. The clerk wasn’t there. “Hello?” He called out. Soon, sound of a door being swung open and rushed footsteps up the stairs filled the silence from what he assumed must have been the store room. “I’ll be right with you.” You were bound painfully tight. Ropes dug into your skin until your wrists bled. Tied to a chair and gagged. It had all happened so fast. Days ago you were going about business as usual. You stocked your ammo; took a nice long bath; and followed a dog around you wanted to pet before returning to camp, and of course, to the arms of Charles. What can you say? You love dogs and this one was particularly funny. You had grinned to yourself, studying the animal as you followed it out back. You didn’t expect to look up and be met with the stares of men who were clearly in the middle of an illegal operation. “Shit!” Your hand flew to your holster then froze as you heard a click and felt the barrel of a gun pressed to the back of your head. Your hands slowly rose as you tried to eye whoever was behind you. “Well well well, look what we have here, fellers.” “Real unfortunate, ain’t it?” You narrowed your eyes but kept silent. O’Driscolls by the looks of ‘em. “Hey…” A tall one began circling you, looking you over as if you were bait. “I remember you. You run with the Van der Linde boys, don’tcha?” This wasn’t good. “I think you’ve mistaken, mister.” “No… No I recognize you alright.” He stopped in front of you, leaning so close you had to recoil when the stench of his foul breath hit your face. “This isn’t your lucky day-” Before you could react he drew his elbow back and punched you so hard you nearly flew to the ground. Quiet laughs rang out among the group. Pain overcame you when one grabbed you by the hair, literally dragging you into the basement of their operation where you were hastily tied up and beaten several times among other unsavory happenings. For days you starved. Your face swollen beyond recognition. Only did the grocer show you any compassion. Feeding you water while muttering little ‘I’m so sorry, I wish we could let you go’s. He was a nervous man… A sweaty man. Hell you’d be nervous too if a gaggle of insane Irishmen took over the basement of your shop. You appreciated his little kindness but the weight of the situation was never lost on you. You needed to get out and soon, or else they’ll kill you. You thought of Charles and your beloved friends Arthur, Mary-Beth, and Lenny. Were they looking for you? Did they ever realize you disappeared? Today repeated the last two. The second the O’Driscolls noticed you were conscious their abuse started again up until mid morning when they left to take care of some business. The clerk made his way into the basement, removing your gag so he could give you water. “I’m sorry but you have to understand. If I let you go they’ll kill me.” You were too tired to argue with your heavily bruised jaw, sipping at the cool liquid. Suddenly a sound met your ears. Old floorboards overhead creaked with heavy footsteps. “Oh goddammit.” Cloth was shoved into your mouth once more, immediately drying your tongue. “H-Hold on. Stray here..” You glared at the clerk. Where the hell were you gonna go all tied up like this? The sweaty man dabbed his forehead with a handkerchief, opening the door that divided you from the outside world. “Hello?” A voice called out, rushing the clerk who felt so overwhelmed and frenzied with stress that he accidentally left the door open. “I’ll be right with you.” Staying coherent is a struggle for you at this point. Listening to light footsteps run up the stairs you let your head hang limp against your shoulder. “What can I help you with?” “Just here to resupply. Do you happen to have… uh… a bushel of corn?” “Corn? Yeah, we got it.” Wait… was that? CHARLES! Energy rocketed through your veins with the hope of rescue. Charles was here! Gazing around frantically you searched for something, ANYTHING. The only thing close by was a broom. Hopping your chair over to it depleted you immediately, every bruise and broken rib screaming out. But you had to do this. You had to get Charles’ attention. It was so much work just to get close enough to tip the broom over. CLINK! Your head snapped towards the stairs with anticipation. Charles read the list over again. “Actually a bushel of apples too.” CLINK! He glanced down at the stairs then at the clerk who laughed nervously. “Haha don’t mind that. Just some junk.” Charles hummed, grabbing a few cans off the shelf. “I’ll take these as well.” “Is that all for you?” Your heart squeezed in your chest. It didn’t work. ‘Charles! Charles I’m right here!’ You so badly wanted to scream. No words left your muffled mouth beyond your hearing. There had to be a way to get his attention. Nothing else was close enough to you and you didn’t have the strength to move yourself and the chair any further. The only thing you could do was throw yourself to the ground as hard as you could and hope for the best. BANG! This time Charles froze. His eyes napped towards the basement then back at the grocer.  A terrified look flashed over the man’s face. That’s suspicious... Oh- “Just some junk, huh?” “Yes sir.” In once swift movement Charles pulled out his gun, cocking the hammer. “Then you wouldn’t mind showing me what’s down there, right?” “H-Hey listen! I don’t want any trouble.” “No trouble here. If there’s nothing down there then I’ll pay and leave.” “It’s just junk mister! Honest!” “Then it should be okay if I take a look at this ‘junk’.” The clerk folded under pressure. “They said they were gonna kill me if anyone found out!” “Then get out of here and hope they don’t find you.” Charles didn’t know who ‘they’ were but he had a pretty good idea about what was going on.  He watched as the grocer fled before cautiously making his way down the stairs, cattleman revolver still drawn. Charles was stunned. All breath left his body in disbelief the second you two made eye-contact. “Y/N!” He hurdled himself towards you, picking the chair up to sit you upright before removing the gag. “What did they do to you?” Swift work was made of your binds and soon you were pulled into the comfort of his chest. Giving a whimper of pain you couldn’t help but to cry tears of relief. “Charles!” Your voice cracked. You almost thought it wouldn’t work and he would leave without you. Charles rubbed your back, pulling away to assess your injuries. “Y/N…… I-.” He didn’t know what to say.  So many emotions hit him in waves, washing over him strongly which inevitably flashed across his face. Anger at the people who hurt his beloved. Guilt for not tracking you any further. Resentment towards himself for not considering you might be missing or in trouble. Sadness. So much sadness. He had never seen you this badly beaten and it disturbed him. Quickly he tried to hide his thoughts. You were so small and frail in his arms, crying uncontrollably now. Charles could imagine by your current state that it must have been a horrible ordeal. “I’ve got you. Can you walk?” All you could do was cling to Charles while shaking your head. You felt the weight of his coat drape around your shoulder before feeling yourself being scooped up. “You found me.” Charles winced at how weak your voice sounded. Placing a gentle kiss on your forehead he shushes you. “Save your energy my love. You’ve been through a lot. Let me take care of you.” It’s the least he can do after failing you so badly. As he carried you up the stairs Charles make eye-contact with Sheriff Malloy who bowed his head slightly out of respect – serving as a silent apology. “We’ll hang whoever did this.” He promised.  Deputies flooded the store actively as he spoke. "When we find ‘em, you’ll be the first to know.” “Thank you.” Those words meant nothing to Charles. The Valentine law was useless and it showed. All he could do now was shield you from curious onlookers while mounting Taima with you securely in his arms. “Are you in any pain?” He whispered, making his horse walk so the ride wouldn’t jostle you too much. “Yeah.” Charles had to lean down to catch your quiet words. “Try to rest against me. I’ll get some morphine from the Reverend. Just hang in there. I’m sorry, I know it hurts.” He was trying desperately to find the right words to say. Anything that might help you or ease your suffering. Anything that might relieve his guilt. Grasping at words floating around his mind yet none could be combined into something coherent. They rode on in silence. “Mister Strauss, Reverend. We need medicine.” Most of the gang couldn’t see what was going on, Charles had you tucked protectively against him for privacy. He knew you probably didn’t want everyone ogling at you. The air of the situation was enough for everyone to gain understanding and many sprang into action. “How bad is it?” Strauss asked. “I think their ribs are broken, maybe sprained jaw. Definitely a sprained ankle.” “Bring Y/N over here.” Arthur called, leading Charles to his cot. “Probably better than the ground. Shouldn’t be movin’ much with cracked ribs.” Your eyes fluttered open the second you were placed in the comfort of Arthur’s bed. Charles immediately helped you take medicine to ease your suffering. “Do you need anything my love?” His voice was gentle as if speaking to a spooked animal. Large calloused fingers brushed the hair from your face. “Food… Water…” Arthur gently squeezed Charles’ shoulder, earning a grateful look from his friend. “Let me.” Your love settled into a chair beside you, still playing with locks of your hair. “You’re so brave Y/N. And so incredibly smart. I’m so happy you’re safe now. I-… I’ll never let this happen to you again.” He watched you struggle to stay conscious. Maybe the food will have to wait. Slumping forward, he places a feather light kiss upon your lips. “I’m coming with you everywhere for now on.” He knew you couldn’t hear him but it eased his soul just saying those words out loud.

[choccy-milky]

I know there's some parts of your fanfiction where Clora has some passing feelings of jealousy because of a comment or two made by background characters towards Sebastian, but I was wondering how you think Clora and Sebastian would genuinely react to a situation where someone was actively trying to pursue him? I was just curious since the raven and the snake have a good bit of people chasing after Clora and Sebastian being jealous (cough physically violent cough)

BAHAHA seb doesnt get physically violent when he gets jealous, he just gets irritated and petty LOL. gotta defend my boi for a sec, hes only gotten physically violent twice, and once was when clora was being blackmailed/SA'd, and the other was when he was corrupted by the relic, so it wasnt REALLYYYY him.

BUT to answer the question, this is what happens when clora gets jealous LOOL basically its: she gets jealous > knows that its unfounded and seb wouldn't reciprocate, so she keeps her feelings to herself > but still cant help but feel down about it > seb catches on and makes sure to reassure her. and seb would 1000% be willing to just never talk to the other girl ever again if thats what it took BAHAHA but obvs clora would reject that and tell him thats way too extreme. and altho seb thinks its cute when cloras jealous, he also doesnt like making her feel that way, since he considers it a sort of failure on his part (like, if ur feeling jealous, it means im not proving that i love you enough LMAO) whereas for when seb gets jealous, its: he gets jealous > tells clora of his suspicions / that the dude is trying to get with her > clora tries to reassure him that its nothing, and that its all just platonic (bc it IS from her POV, whether the dude actually likes her or not, bc shes naive af) > seb has no choice but to put up with it LOL bc he's self-aware and knows he gets jealous easily, and accepts that he might be overreacting, but he'll still keep an eye on it regardless. he trusts clora but he doesnt trust the guys, and unlike seb, clora wouldnt stop talking to someone she considered a friend just bc seb THINKS they like her. unless the dude is straight up asking her out/being super bold and obvious about it, clora would just default to 'oh hes just being friendly😇 LMAO. basically seb is too jealous and clora is too naive and they both know this about themselves and each other, so they kinda have to meet in the middle on these things HAHA. for seb its like yeah fine, i might think every guy has nefarious intentions, but YOU also think every guy is completely pure and has absolutely NO romantic intentions ever LOL. but they know this so it works out LMAO (plus even if it is slightly infuriating for each other at times, seb still finds cloras naivety/innocence endearing, and clora also finds sebs possessiveness/jealousy endearing as well🥰) also unrelated but i finally changed my pfp after a year and its cracking me up. that is all

[pedroscurls]

Innocent Eyes

Character(s): Javier Peña and Reader (female, second person POV)  Summary: Javier and his partner, Steve Murphy, finally have one night off. So, when they go to a local bar to unwind, Javier certainly wasn’t expecting you to walk through the doors.  Word Count: 5,251 Author's Note: So, this one-shot originated from a dream I had last night lol and it was all I could think of all day. I hope you all enjoy this! Happy reading🫶  Warning: smut!!! (idk if this needs to go into detail, but javi gets it innnn🥵)

Javier was exhausted, tired from working around the clock just to get an inch closer to catching Pablo Escobar, but every time they got close enough to even reach him, he was gone before they could even act. So tonight, instead of choosing to stay in and get rest, Steve managed to convince Javier to just have a couple of beers with him at the local bar near their apartment. 

If anything Javier knew to do, it was to distract himself of the reality of his life. He already had his mind set that he would take a woman home to help him further distract himself from how helpless he felt whenever he went to work. No matter how much effort he put in, how much intel he received, it just was never enough. 

And as he was sitting in a small booth across from Steve, his eyes wandered. There had already been plenty of women that came up to their table, trying to get the two men to buy them drinks, but Javier didn’t find any of the women appealing enough to bring them back home. Steve was off-limits, married, so it wasn’t like he could even take any of them home either; he had always been so faithful to his wife, Connie.

“So, plan for tomorrow is–” 

Javier shook his head. He was leaning back against his seat, giving him a clear view of the entire bar. Bringing the cigarette back to his lips, Javier just glanced over at Steve. 

“I really don’t want to talk about work.” 

“Right, right,” Steve said. “You’re right. We’re supposed to unwind, relax…”

“Whatever the hell that means,” he shrugged. “How’s Connie?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders, looking over at his partner. “Fine.”

Javier chuckled, letting out a puff of smoke. “Can’t imagine that this is what she expected.”

“It isn’t,” Steve replied. “But she’s stuck by my side through everything. This is just another thing we gotta get through.”

“You’re a lucky man, Steve.” Javier said. 

“And you? Never had a woman you ever thought of settling down with?”

For a brief moment, Javier’s mind drifted to Lorraine. He had been so close to getting married, but even now, he couldn’t imagine being a married man while having to deal with Pablo Escobar and the demons that only seemed to come out at night. He was envious of Steve, having Connie who was a strong enough woman to stick by him, no matter how difficult it would be. 

All the women Javier had been with never had gotten close as Lorraine did and even then, he wasn’t sure that Lorraine was the woman he was meant to be with (hence leaving her at the altar). Besides, Javier didn’t think he could even go through the stages of being in a relationship anymore. The talking, the getting to know each other, the sharing of secrets… the women that Javier encountered didn’t want that either, so it just worked out. It was always just a few nights shared, not bothering to talk about each other; it was just another distraction. 

“Not the settling down type,” Javier replied, letting out a quiet laugh. “I’m fine with the way things are.”

“Ah, you mean the women at the brothels?” Steve chuckled. “You know what you’re doing, man. As long as you’re clean, guess that’s all that matters.” 

“I’m not stupid. I get tested regularly. Besides,” Javier said, downing his drink. “Why in the hell are we talking about my sex life?” 

Steven laughed, raising a hand in the air to get the waitress to come by to the table so that they could order another round. “Fair enough.”

A group of women came by to the table, giggling and trying to entice both Javier and Steve by leaning over the table, pushing their breasts together and towards their direction. Javier couldn’t help but look, his eyes obviously raking over their frames. They were beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but the fact that they were exuding desperation was a complete turn-off for him. Usually, Javier didn’t mind, especially if he needed to distract himself, but for some reason, tonight, it wasn’t working for him. 

But, as the doors swung open to the bar, Javier turned his attention towards the door. Then, when you entered the bar, he felt himself become immediately intrigued. You looked to be lost, looking around the bar like you had no idea where you had just stumbled in. You definitely didn’t look like the rest of the women that were in the bar either. The dress you were wearing was black compared to the other colorful dresses that the other women were wearing, but it was still skintight, though reaching just above your knees. It looked as if you had barely worn any makeup, except for the dark red lipstick that Javier found inviting, practically begging for him to nip and bite as he pleased. 

As you skimmed the room to find the people you were supposed to meet, you noticed him. He was leaning back against his seat, white button shirt underneath a dark denim jacket. The cigarette hung between his lips and his arm draped over the back of the seat. He didn’t look at all the least bit interested about the women who were at his table and when you noticed that he was looking back at you, a blush immediately appeared on your cheeks. You gave him a smile and brought your hand up to tuck the hair away from your face. 

When the women at Javier and Steve’s table realized they weren’t interested, they scoffed and decided to walk away, blocking Javier’s view of you after he had locked eyes with you. When he saw you smile and noticed that you were looking at him too, he felt an unusual feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach. 

“Javi,” Steve said, gently reaching over to nudge at his arm. “Hello?”

“What?” Javier replied, pulling his eyes away from searching the room for you and looking back at Steve. “Sorry. My mind was–”

“Occupied by the woman who entered the bar. You never quit, do you?” Steve chuckled. 

Javier rolled his eyes. “Are you getting the next round or what?” 

“Yeah, I got it.” 

When the waitress came by the table, Steve ordered them another round of beers. Javier, on the other hand, kept looking around the room and when he finally found you with your back facing him, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander your frame. The dress clung to your curves in all the right places, but the length was still modest enough that you weren’t showing too much, unlike the other women and especially unlike the group of friends you were with. 

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom. I’ll be back,” Javier said. He stood from the booth and finished his cigarette before he decided to walk in your direction. He knew he had the confidence to be able to come up to any woman and start a conversation, but he wasn’t sure why he was now feeling nervous. 

As he inched closer to you, Javier could hear the voices and laughter amongst your group. But when you turned around, Javier felt like his breath was taken from him. Your group of friends dispersed onto the dance floor and you remained, probably because he was looking at you without saying a word. 

“Um, hi?” you finally said, breaking him out of his trance. 

“Hi,” Javier replied, clearing his throat. “Hey.” 

You looked up at him and tilted your head. Your eyes were luring him in, so innocent and pure like you hadn’t yet been corrupted by the world. He had to wonder why you were here in Colombia, what your name was, what you did for a living, the things you liked and disliked… It certainly went against everything he had known. Women served as a distraction for Javier and he never thought that learning about the women he slept with was worth his time, but here he was, wanting to learn every little thing about you. 

“You okay?” You asked. He was quiet, which was surprising to you, especially since he had seemed to exude so much confidence and charm. 

“Sorry,” Javier chuckled nervously. “I’m Javier. You can call me Javi, or Javier, or whatever you’d like.” 

You smiled and Javier bit at his lower lip at the sight. “Javier,” you repeated. “That’s a very nice name.”

“And yours?” 

You told him your name and Javier smiled. He found himself being unable to look away, despite the loud music and chatter that filtered the entire bar. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” Javier asked. 

You looked over his shoulder at your friends who looked to be unbothered by your lack of presence on the dancefloor and you glanced at the booth that you had noticed Javier was sitting in when you walked in and noticed the man he was with was sipping his beer. 

“What about your friend?” 

Javier looked over his shoulder at Steve and shrugged. “He’s fine. He’s a big boy who can handle being alone for a few.”

“Well, in that case, I’d love a drink.” 

—

An hour later, Steve had decided to call it a night, raising a hand to wave at Javier who was deep in conversation with you. Your friends had also decided to go to another bar, making sure that you were okay before they left. And now, you and Javier were sitting next to each other at the bar, inches separating your bodies. 

“So, you’re visiting,” Javier repeated. “Why Colombia?” 

“One of my friends is getting married and this is her bachelorette party. She wanted to go to Colombia, so… Here I am,” you replied, sipping your drink. “What about you? You don’t have an accent, so I’m assuming you aren’t from here.”

“I’m actually from Texas. I’m here for work,” he replied. Javier found himself captivated by your presence, by the innocent look in your eyes, by the way your smile managed to give him butterflies. Javier Peña had to wonder if this was love at first sight… How cliche. He made sure to make a mental note not to tell Steve, or else he’d probably never hear the end of it. 

“Oh?” You asked, intrigued. “Can I ask what you do?” 

Javier bit the inside of his cheek. He looked down at you and tilted his head. He knew that he had to be careful with telling people what he did for a living, especially since he was going after the most wanted man who had so many people supporting him. If he wasn’t careful, Javier knew he would be the next person on Pablo Escobar’s hit list. 

“Can I trust you?” he asked quietly. Javier leaned forward, his body facing you. His legs were spread apart to give some space for your seat. You, however, were facing forward and you looked over at him, biting your lower lip as he inched closer to you. 

“Is your job top secret, Javi?” you whispered.

Javi. The way you said his name sent the blood rushing straight down towards the center of his pants. In fact, he wanted to hear more of it, wanted to hear you moan and scream his name in pleasure. 

“Ay, bonita,” Javier whispered, lips hovering near your ear. “No tienes idea.” You have no idea.

You cleared your throat and turned your head to face him, seeing him up close in your personal space. He was searching your facial expressions, seeing if this was something you didn’t want, but when he saw you lean closer to him, Javier didn’t move, didn’t falter. He noticed the pink hue in your cheeks, the anxious biting of your lower lip, and he certainly noticed the way your legs squeezed together. 

“Y–You speak Spanish,” you whispered lowly. 

“Sí, bonita.”

“I really want to kiss you,” you admitted. “But I want you to know that I don’t always do this and I’m not that type of girl and–”

Javier chuckled quietly. “We don’t have to do anything, bonita. I’m fine with just talking.”

“Really? Even if I want to kiss you and possibly invite you back to my hotel room?”

Javier cleared his throat. He wanted that so badly, but the innocence in your eyes, the purity that you exuded made Javier want to take his time with you. He wanted you to be comfortable, safe, and absolutely certain of what you wanted before he took you to his bed. 

“Something tells me, bonita, that you aren’t completely sure and I’m okay with that.” 

You sighed in relief. You were telling the truth. This wasn’t what you were used to. Even back home, you had been the only one in your friend group that didn’t partake in one night stands, but this was different. Colombia wasn’t home and you probably wouldn’t ever see Javier again after tonight, so you figured that you should try something different. You were sure that Javier was going to agree without question and take you back to your hotel room, but when he sensed your hesitation that this wasn’t something that you were absolutely sure you wanted, it only made you want him more. 

“But I still do want to kiss you. Can we do that?” 

Javier grinned. He nodded and cupped your cheek, running his thumb along your jawline. “Me encantaría, bonita.” Then, he leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against yours, letting his eyes fall shut. Javier felt you kiss back immediately, almost leaning forward out of your seat to move your lips against his with fervor. His other hand moved to your seat, bringing you and it closer to him. As a result, you let out a gasp which parted your lips for him. He smiled against your lips and darted his tongue out to run along yours, hearing you quietly whimper against him.

Javier felt the center of his pants tighten at the sound and he felt your tongue eagerly run along his as both of your lips moved against one another. The hand on your cheek moved to the nape of your neck, your hair entwining in the spaces between his fingers. With a gentle squeeze, Javier gently pulled away and pulled your head back. Your eyes remained shut and you tilted your head up, feeling his lips move along your jawline. Javier dragged his teeth against you, nipping gently as his lips moved from your jawline to the side of your neck. 

This certainly wasn’t just talking. 

“Javi,” you whimpered quietly, moving your hands to his thighs. 

Javier smiled against you and pulled away, licking his lips as he looked at you. “Sorry, got carried away there.” 

“You really know what you’re doing, huh?” you smiled, biting your lower lip. 

“I know a few things.” 

“I promise that I don’t go around kissing strangers. I’m actually a real good girl.”

Javier cleared his throat at that. He tried to think of something else, to think of anything else, to stop himself from getting an erection right here, right now. He wanted to test that out, to see how truly a good girl you really were. 

“I think you know what you’re doing too,” he replied. 

You blushed and bit the inside of your cheek. “I know a few things too,” you winked. 

Javier chuckled and leaned forward to gently peck your lips. “Wanna grab some food? I know a good spot nearby.”

“I’d love to.” 

—

You and Javier were sitting next to each other at a local taco shop. He had paid for your food, which you thanked him by giving him a kiss on his lips. He wanted to kiss you longer, but you had pulled away before he could get too carried away. And now, you were both laughing with each other, taco in hand, and it felt like you had known him forever, like this was normal. 

“My dad owns a ranch back home,” Javier smiled. “I used to pretend to sleep in to get out of doing my chores,” he chuckled. 

You laughed quietly, looking over at him. “Sounds like a teenager thing to do.”

“Oh, trust me, my dad caught on pretty quick. Didn’t last long.” 

“Is he a strict man? Your dad, I mean?”

Javier shrugged. Since coming to Colombia, he hadn’t ever talked about his personal life; it just didn’t seem right to mix work with his life at home, but he found it so easy to talk to you, to talk about his life from before Pablo Escobar, from before Colombia, from before the DEA. 

“I wouldn’t say strict,” Javier replied. “He's a man of few words, but he’s taught me everything I know. The man I am today is because of him.” 

You smiled. “Sounds like a great man. Do you miss home?”

Javier didn’t know how to answer that. He hadn’t been back home in years, too focused on trying to catch Pablo Escobar and not wanting to go back home without anything to show for it. 

“Yeah,” he whispered. “It’s been a long time.” Javier took a bite of his taco, glancing over at you. When he swallowed his food, he decided to change the topic of conversation. 

“What about you? Any siblings?” 

“Two younger brothers,” you answered. “But my parents were strict,” you laughed. “Being the eldest and the only girl came with a lot of responsibilities and expectations.” 

“Ah,” Javier replied. “Sounds about right.”

“Growing up, I always wanted to leave home, get out of that small town, but,” you shrugged. “I always found my way back.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Always felt like they needed me in one way or another,” you replied. “Coming here, to Colombia, was definitely out of my comfort zone. I’m used to people relying on me, but I would be lying if I said that this vacation is only because of my friend’s bachelorette party.”

“And what else is this vacation for then, bonita?” 

You set your taco down and wiped your hands. You turned to face him, looking up at him with big, soft eyes. Javier bit the inside of his cheek. The way you looked at him made him feel all sorts of things; you were looking at him like he mattered, like the things he had done since coming to Colombia didn’t define him, like he wasn’t a disappointment, and he found himself craving more and more of the feeling you were stirring up inside of him. 

“Well, I wanted to have fun,” you replied. “I wanted to do things I don’t normally do, to step out of being that good girl that people expect me to be.” 

Javier bit his lower lip. There you go again, saying those words like it wouldn’t cause a reaction out of him, but the way you were looking at him and the way you were inching closer, the more and more he realized that you were becoming increasingly sure that you wanted him as badly as he wanted you.

“Oh, so you want to be bad?” Javier asked, running his fingertips along your back. 

“With the help of a certain someone,” you replied. 

“And who might that be, bonita?” 

You leaned into him, biting your lower lip. “I’m sure you know the answer to that already, Javi.”

He growled lowly and leaned down to capture your lips heatedly. Immediately, you melted into him and moved your hands to his chest as you gently nipped at his lower lip. Javier groaned against you, pulling away as he felt the center of his pants tighten. 

“Tell me what you want, bonita…”

You were breathing heavily against him, pulling back enough to look up at him. “You… I want you, Javier.” 

—

Javier had been peppering kisses along the back of your neck and shoulders as you tried to unlock your hotel room door. His hands were resting on your hips as he nipped gently at your skin, causing you to push back against him to feel the throbbing bulge beneath his pants. He groaned at the sensation and pulled you flush against him. When he heard a quiet thank god when the door unlocked, he pulled away and walked you both inside. 

Javier felt you pull away to turn the lights on as he followed you towards the bed. He watched as you took a seat at the edge of it, immediately reaching down to remove your heels. Once they were off, Javier watched as you kicked them to the side. He had already removed his denim jacket, tossing it somewhere in the room. 

He was unbuttoning his shirt when he saw you look up at him, reaching back to pull the zipper down on your dress. Javier grunted to himself at the sight of you looking up at him so innocently and so pure that he wanted your eyes focused on him when he finally got the chance to fuck you. 

Javier shrugged the shirt off from his body, reaching down to unbuckle his belt to relieve some pressure in his pants. You stood from the bed and turned around, motioning for Javier to pull the zipper down. It was obvious that you could have done it yourself, but wanting Javier to do it instead made him even more excited. 

Javier’s pants were undone and he reached up to drag the zipper slowly down to reveal more of your bare skin. When he realized you hadn’t worn a bra, he used his free hand to squeeze himself in excitement. He leaned forward, peppering kisses along more of your exposed skin. Once the zipper was completely undone, Javier took a step back to watch the dress pool around your ankles to reveal that you were now only just wearing a very skimpy lacey, black thong. 

“Fuck me, bonita,” he whispered, watching as you turned around to reveal your exposed front. 

“I’m trying,” you smiled, letting out a quiet giggle that made his member throb even further. 

Javier pushed his pants down his legs, kicking them to the side. You gasped in surprise when you noticed that he hadn’t been wearing any underwear, his manhood standing erect and leaking at the tip. 

“Well, seems like I’m the only one naked.” Javier said, reaching down to tug on his length.

You nodded in agreement, tucking your thumbs into the waistband of your thong and pulling it down your legs. Once it reached your ankles, you pushed it aside and slowly lowered yourself to your knees. You looked up at him, licking your lips as Javier slowly stepped forward. 

“Can I?”

Javier growled. “So polite,” he said, stroking his member a few times before he let his tip rest against your lips. “Wow, you really are a good girl, aren’t you?” 

You smiled, parting your lips and running your tongue along his tip. The taste of him settled on your tongue and you wrapped your lips around his tip, sucking gently as you brought a hand up to stroke the base of his length. Javier groaned, moving a hand to your hair as he kept his eyes focused on you. 

You pulled away, licking your lips as your hand continued to stroke him. Still, you were staring up at him with the same look you had given him the moment you walked through the doors of the bar earlier that night. 

“Fuck, bonita,” Javier groaned. 

You smiled in accomplishment and wrapped your lips around his length, bobbing your head and hollowing your cheeks as your hand continued to stroke what your mouth couldn’t cover. Javier’s hand tightened its grip around your hair at the sensation and when you pulled your hand from him to try and push yourself further down onto his length, he moaned, hearing you gag quietly as the tip of his length hit the back of your throat. 

Javier thought it was too much, but you continued, bobbing your head repeatedly and quickening your pace. He had to pull away from you, to prevent himself from coming too fast before he could even feel your walls wrap around his member. 

“You keep that up and this is gonna be over,” he teased, gently taking your hand and pulling you to your feet.

“I’d like to do that again,” you smiled, running your tongue across your lower lip. 

“Oh, this good girl thing is just an act, isn’t it?” he grinned, moving his hands to your hips. 

You let out a quiet laugh, shaking your head. “What can I say? I guess you bring out the bad in me, Javi.” 

Javier groaned and gently laid you back on the bed, crawling above you as he settled himself between your legs. You stared up at him, eyes still so innocent and pure and he felt like he could come right then and there with the way you were looking at him.

“Damn, bonita,” he said, taking the condom you handed him. “You’re driving me crazy the way you look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

Javier slid the condom onto his length and grasped it in his hand, slowly running his tip along your sex. He kept his eyes focused on you, watching as your lips parted for a moan to escape. 

“You look at me like I’m the only thing that matters,” he whispered, slowly sliding into you and groaning as he felt your tight walls immediately wrap around his member. 

You gasped, keeping your legs parted for him. Javier lowered himself to press his lips along your jawline, wanting to be close to hear your moans against his ear. His hips slowly moved in and out of you, allowing your tight sex to loosen up to his length. He had to wonder if you had done this before or how often you had done this with how tight you were and it was driving him crazy; he didn’t know how he was going to let you go after tonight. 

You couldn’t even think, couldn’t even process what his words meant because all you could focus on was the way he felt as he thrusted in and out of you, the weight of his body against yours, providing you a surprising sense of safety and security. Javier’s lips continued to move along your skin as he pulled his hips back and pushed back into you repeatedly, creating a rhythm that elicited quiet whimpers and moans from you. 

Javier was always so rough with the women he had been with, so rough and quick, but this time, for some reason, he wanted to take his time. He wanted to revel in the way you felt wrapped around him, the sounds of your moans and the way you said his name, and certainly the way your arms moved to wrap around his shoulders, holding onto him. 

“Javi,” you whimpered, feeling him deliver a sharp thrust. He remained still within your depths and you moaned, feeling so full of him that you wanted more. You wrapped your legs around his hips and tightened your hold around his shoulders as you lifted your hips to move against him, moaning loudly as it bounced off the walls. 

Javier groaned, pulling back to prop himself up onto his hands as he watched your hips move against him, rolling them up and down. He pushed into you, moving a hand to your hip to stop your movements. Javier pulled out to his tip and slammed back into you; he repeated this for a few thrusts before his pace quickened. The sound of his skin slapping against you mixed in with the sounds of your moans. He gripped your hip, his fingertips digging into your skin as he leaned down to bite at the side of your neck, sucking on it afterwards. 

“Fuck, bonita,” Javier groaned. 

“Oh god, Javi,” you moaned. “Please, don’t stop.” 

Javier grinned, slamming his hips into yours repeatedly. “Tell me how it feels, bonita.” 

“Javi,” you muttered, feeling your climax slowly edge its way closer. “Feels so good… Oh my god…”

“I’m gonna want to do this again,” Javier whispered, his hips not faltering as he felt your walls begin to tighten even further around him. “Next time, I’m gonna fuck you from behind and watch your ass bounce against me.” 

You would be lying if you said that you had experienced this before, that the men you had been with had given you this much pleasure, but Javier was different. This was different, in all the best ways possible. 

“Please,” you whimpered. 

“And then,” Javier groaned, slamming into you. “I’m gonna eat this pussy and make you come until the only thing you can think about is me, bonita.”

That was it. Your walls tightened around his length as your body began to shake once you reached your climax. You held onto him and heard Javier’s grunts and groans against you as his hips began to thrust into you erratically. You knew he was close too, so you ran your nails up and down his broad back as you whispered into his ear. 

“Come for me, Javi.” 

Javier delivered one last thrust and released himself into the condom, groaning against you. He hadn’t ever reached his climax as hard as this and he had to wonder if it was because of you. He was telling the truth that he wanted to do this again and again and again… 

But he also wanted to get to know more about you, spend more time with you, show more of himself to you, but he knew that wasn’t possible. Colombia wasn’t home to you and you would be going home in less than a week. This was all it could ever be. 

When he pulled out, you whimpered and watched as he removed the condom, tying it shut and tossing it into the nearby trash. He lied back down with you and pulled you into his arms as you tried to catch your breath. 

You looked up at him, biting your lower lip as you started to wonder how this could even work when you went back home. Maybe this was why you never did one night stands because while you wanted more sex with Javier, you also wanted to get to know more about him, more about his family, his home, but how could that be possible if you were expected to go home and he was supposed to stay here for work?

“We are doing that again,” Javier said, smiling. “I’m a man of my word, so–”

“So, you’ll eat me out and then fuck me from behind?” 

Javier narrowed his eyes, leaning down to peck your lips. “I think I want to keep you, bonita.” 

“That’s a great idea,” you smiled. “Can we make that happen?” 

You kept staring up at him, which gave Javier that same feeling from earlier this night. He wanted more of you, obviously in more ways than one, but you made him feel good about himself, made him feel like he wasn’t just some disappointment, made him feel human. In fact, you gave him hope that this could be something more. He never did understand the concept of love at first sight, but what he was feeling was something he hadn’t ever felt before. 

Maybe it was love. Maybe it was something else, but Javier wanted you.

Needed you. 

“I think we can,” he finally replied. 

[eydi-andrius]

His Point of View (Gojo Satoru x Reader)

A Sequel to Side Characters End Up Alone

a/n: I'm really sorry that it took a while but I feel much better now to write for angst. I hope this is worth the wait. Thank you lovelies! Again, I appreciate likes but comments and reblogs makes me feel well-loved.

cw/tw: pure angst, unrequited love, pov of the person who was confessed to, from love to despise, probably unexpected pov but I gotta write it, may upset some audience but I have been thinking of this as canon in this story

divider: @/cafekitsune

summary: Gojo knew how precious you are in his life. You are his greatest confidant, his other half and someone to whom he can never live without. However, no one ever told him how to handle a situation wherein his childhood best friend is truly madly deeply in love with him but he only sees her as his friend

The once cute white squared beads of letters that used to spell his name and yours, sewn together as proof of your long lasting friendship, was now across the floor of the dim parking lot.

He could barely see some of it. The place was illuminated by the yellow, almost dying light of the old light post. It buzzes and flickers as it does its best to give light. The dim colour makes his head hurt more. It was already throbbing when you went to pick him up, but after running after you, the feeling intensified, like splitting his head in half.

However, the blur in his eyes from the pain did not mask how worn out those beads were. He can see the first letter of your name, rolled near his shoe. He bent down to pick it up and raised it, to see clearly on the only source of light. It looks old, yes, but it is well-kept, polished even. As if someone had smoothened it for years…..because she cares and truly treasures this childish gift he gave to her once upon a time.

Gojo closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

Long ago, when you confessed to him, he didn't know what to do. There were only two of you behind the school, you were fidgeting, scared and a pale mess, as you shared your heart out to him. Confessing the supposed to be beautiful truth, but at that moment, can either create something new or break something perfect, that you both had established together for a long time.

Surprised, unprepared and confused, all he did was stare at you, mouth agape. His world stopped, not expecting that you feel that way towards him. How…No one ever told him what to do at this moment. He felt trapped and his mind was swirling, trying to think of the best words to reply, the best course of action to do when your childhood best friend confesses to you. He was overloading and for a long time was just wide-eyed staring at you.

Probably, when you realised he wasn't going to reply, you felt embarrassed and humiliated so you chose to run away from him. During that time, Gojo found that his voice was working as he called out to your small frame, slowly vanishing from view.

You two did not talk about it until after three days. After he had a conversation with Geto. He helped him realise his feelings, for he thinks Geto was really wise for his age. And he is wise and provided good advice. He made Gojo feel confident enough to share his true feelings to you and that was him loving you as his precious friend, nothing more, nothing less.

Gojo wished that at that time he realises that Geto was just the same age as him, and no amount of good advice will come from a person whose life experience were in equal to him. If he knew right there and then, he would have let the friendship go and freed you of the burden of loving him. In that way, you would have been happy. In that way, you probably would have found someone to whom you deserve. Someone who will love you, more than you loved him.

But he was young, foolish and scared about the what ifs. What if you were the best he could ever have in this lifetime. If he lets you go, what if he will never have you anymore? He was scared to be alone. A selfish brat.

And so like a fool, when you pleadingly asked to keep the friendship, he agreed and continued acting the same.

It worked out for a while, until he started having feelings for other girls. Your eyes. God! Your eyes cannot lie at all, it screams your feelings like an open book being read out loud. Doe-eyes stares at him, openly hurting and in pain. It made him go crazy, insane even, affecting his relationships and becoming a toxic partner to some.

Of course, those weren't your fault. It was his. That was his relationship, not yours. However, there was a slitter in his gut, he used to ignore it, until its ugly head showed its face and he openly hated you for destroying his connections.

He was resentful and he admits, he does things to see you suffer. You did that to him!

Of course he knew he was wrong and stupid but he cannot stop the feeling of pure hatred every time beautiful things were ruined in his life because you existed.

You were his blessing but he made you his curse.

Opening his eyes, he stared at the dark sky. The moon was nowhere to be seen but a lone star twinkles beautifully, claiming the sky for itself. His blue orbs twinkled as he stared at it.

He cannot help but smile. It was a true smile. A smile of someone who was relieved. Of someone with a thorn in his chest for years, finally plucked out, relieved of the pain. Finally, your curse was over. The curse he implanted by his side was over.

If someone hears his thoughts tonight, they will probably hate him. But he doesn't care about them.

He was just so happy that now ... .now it was finally over.

He loves you, he cares about you but he cannot deal with your hurt anymore. None of your hurt was his fault. He was torturing himself for years and now, it was truly done.

Feeling the hot tear running down his face, he laughed. It was full of mirth. He is thankful, grateful even.

He wishes you the best as he clutches the only bead he picked up, close to his chest.

He treasures you but he also treasures the distance you now gave him. He cannot wait to finally start his life over.

[st6rrrs]

DARK MOON | RAFE

CAMERON X TOPPER THORTON

please enjoy!! do not copy, steal, or use any of my work :))

Summary: y/n’s on an overnight school trip and she is forced to be partnered up with rafe Cameron and topper thorton Sarah’s brother and her boyfriend. The trip is not at all what she expects when rafe and topper decides to plan something.

Warnings: NON-CON,violence, dub-con, smut, breeding kink kind of, cursing, 18+... please let me know if I missed any.

MINORS DNI!!!

Characters: Rafe Cameron x Topper Thorton x Reader

A/N: this is my first ever time writing smut especially NON-CON so please be patient and thanks for reading 🙏

You roll you’re eyes as you walk behind rafe and topper to the hotel room carrying three heavy bags which rafe nor topper helped you with. they were whispering and laughing while you were trying not to fall over. you couldn’t just take the elevator because it was “out of order” so you guys were forced to walk up the stairs to the fourth floor.

“I would fuck her so hard man” topper says to rafe while laughing, you roll you’re eyes again, why the fuck did Mr. Steven’s have to assign you with two hormonal teenage boys.

“True that” they laugh as we make it into the hotel room, You shake you’re head , huff, and throw you’re stuff down on the bed. Pulling your phone out checking the time 8:47pm , when you realized that there was only two beds. You hoped that the two boys would sleep in the same bed as each other.

“Bro there’s only two beds” rafe mentions to topper. “ well there’s no fucking way I’m sleeping in the same bed as you” topper said while looking at you.

“Yo y/n” you turn around to look at both rafe and topper stand side by side “what?” “Which one of us would you rather sleep with?” Topper says “excuse me?” “Like sleep, like take a nap with” topper laughs looking at rafe “unless you would rather do the other thing too”. Rafe tries holding in his laugh but fails terribly.

“Uhm no and I don’t know” “why cant you guys just share the bed together?”

“Why cant you just pick one of us?” Rafe says getting frustrated. You sigh “ugh fine rafe i guess” you say as you turn back around to get your night clothes out.

“Why rafe?” Topper ask “cause it would be weird to share a bed with your friends boyfriend” you say as you’re still picking out you’re clothes. “but you’ll sleep with her brother?” Your starting to get angry why the fuck are they pestering you about why you picked who you picked topper should be happy you didn’t pick him.

“Listen you guys told me to pick someone and I picked someone now leave me the fuck alone” you says as you gather ur clothes and walk towards the bathroom walking in and locking it behind you

____________________________________________

Rafes pov

As y/n walks to the bathroom you couldn’t help yourself but look her up and down you weren’t gonna lie she was hot. You turned to topper almost immediately.

“Bro that’s what I need to get my hands on” rafe says to topper

“Who y/n?”

“Fuck yeah didn’t you just see her she is fine as shit” “ I needa fuck that” topper looked at you like you were crazy at first but then started thinking about it,

“I mean yea you could say that”

“Listen top I gotta plan and you’re gonna like it since Sarah ain’t putting out”.

____________________________________________

Y/n’s pov

As you finished putting you’re shorts that barely covered you’re ass and you’re crop top you heard them mumbling about something out there but you didn’t really care so you just ignored it. You were honestly exhausted from today all the walking and talking you had to do, you just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up

As you walk out the bathroom rafe and topper are already in bed they both immediately look at you as you walk over to rafe getting in the bed climbing over him to get to the other side of the bed as you get under the covers you feel one of rafes hands on your thighs squeezing it hard probably bruising it.

“Oww rafe what the fuck is wrong with you”

“Shut the fuck up y/n” rafe basically yells at you gesturing topper over here. You try to get up but rafe climbs on top of you pinning you’re shoulders down onto the bed beneath you looking at you with hunger while you look up at him with fear and confusion, topper walks over with the same looking eyes as rafe.

That’s when you felt something poke you between your legs rubbing against you’re cunt it felt good but you didn’t want you. You tried pushing him off but he was far stronger than you

“Listen y/n this is either gonna go one way or another” “ you’re not gonna fight us I really don’t wanna hurt you’re pretty little face” some tears fell out you’re eyes as you looked at rafe then topper. You smacked rafe on his cheek he looks back down on to you and grabs you’re throat choking you while taking you’re shorts off then throwing them across the room

“god she’s so pretty when she cries isn’t she top?”

“Gorgeous”

“Top get your ass over here stop standing there looking retarted” “help me get her shirt off”

Topper rushes over and pulles you’re shirt off while rafe pulles your underwear down sticking two fingers in you’re cunt going in and out repeatedly, you couldn’t help but whimper at the feeling.

“You’re wet for someone who doesn’t want it” rafe smirks.

“please- please-“ i sob begging him to stop, my body convulsing, eyes rolling in the back of my head

Topper laughs while throwing my bra across the room and starts sucking on my hard nipples I moan loudly making rafe laugh.

Rafe pulls his fingers out and pulls down his shorts and underwear

“Rafe… no stop please” he moves his tip through my folds then Lining his tip with my entrance

“Topper stop” you push him but he’s not moving rafe grabs your throat then pushing into you thrusting in and out slow at first but starting to speed up.

Topper pulls down his shorts and underwear and shoves his dick in you’re throat making you gag repeatedly

“Fuck y/n ,you’re so tight” rafe groaned, tears coming out you’re eyes as you’re still gagging on toppers cock.

Rafe notices you start to zone out so he grabs you’re jaw

“Look at topper well you’re choking on his dick”

You do what he says cause you’re to scared to see what happens when you don’t listen.

“Good girl. Keep them teeth back." Topper fills your mouth, unable to breathe as he fucks your throat hard, You gag, trying to keep your teeth back as he takes what he wants. You're getting dizzy. Droll drips down your chin. Topper is stretching out your mouth and Rafe pinches your nose shut.

Why were you enjoying this? You hated them. But you'd always secretly fantasized about being used. You just didn't plan on it being Rafe and Topper.

Topper finally pulls out of your mouth and lets rafe finish as he walks to the bathroom turning on the shower and closing the door.

Rafe grunts, slamming into you at a rate that will leave you sore for days. You cum with a scream, your nails biting into rafe’s shoulders as an ungodly amount of liquid gushes from you. You hear a laugh and a curse, your body going limp as you drop your head back down onto the pillow.

“You fucking squirted all over me.” You barely register rafe’s words as he slams in hard one last time, panting as he releases inside you. he pulls out and places a gentle kiss on my chest.

Rafe wipes the sweat from his brows and puts his pants back on, he walks over to the table and pours himself another glass of whiskey that he brought in his luggage.

Rafe sits across from my numb body and watch me recover

you’re such a good girl” Rafe praises “you’re never getting rid of me”.

[violetarks]

Kishibe x afab fiend?

can i get a kiss? and can you make it last forever?

anime: chainsaw man

character: kishibe

summary: unbeknownst to other devil hunters, kishibe was actually the first forced to house a fiend for work.

warnings: afab! reader, she/her pronouns, second person pov, reader is the theft devil, my first request in ages!!, but i dont really like how this turned out ;-;

the first one to find out about you, other than makima for obvious reasons, is kishibe's work partner.

"i just gotta' get something from inside before you go, 'kay?" kishibe says, looking to his work partner quanxi. the woman couldn't be more disinterested at the sight of kishibe's home. it was a simple apartment, on the third floor, with a 'welcome' mat and scratch marks on the key slot. when the door pushes open, kishibe clears his throat. "i'm home!"

quanxi raises a brow, wondering why he was announcing himself. as far as the office knew, he was a single man, and stayed so with the help of (or lack thereof from) quanxi. walking into the kitchen, kishibe puts his things down on the counter, heaving off his heavy overcoat. quanxi stands still beside him, analysing the room. it was well-kept, maybe a little mess here and there. but nothing too bad.

when she hears footsteps, she thinks 'daughter?', but then you round the corner, dressed in one of his hoodies and sleeping boxers. her eyes widen a little as you wipe yours, yawning.

"kishibe? why are you—..." you stop, staring at quanxi, and she the same to you. kishibe leans against the counter, knowing that you two were bound to meet at some point. "who's this?"

"y/n, this is quanxi, my work partner." kishibe says, crossing his arms over his chest, "quanxi, this is y/n, the theft devil."

in a split second, you and quanxi charge at each other, quanxi drawing her blades and you turning your hoodie into a sword by ripping it off your body. kishibe frowns, now knowing his hoodie was no longer his.

"leave this residence!" you shout, jabbing the handle of your sword into her stomach. quanxi blocks, gaining her footing. "don't ever return!"

"you've grown weak, since the last time i saw you." she replies, kicking your side and watching you tumble back a few paces. quanxi knocks you off your feet, getting on top of you and holding her blade to your throat whilst yours was pointed into her stomach.

"alright, stop that." kishibe huffs, clapping his hands. he rests one on quanxi's shoulder. "get off her."

"you're housing this fiend?" quanxi spits, staring down at you. you glare at her, opting to stick out your tongue and thrash a little around her. "does... makima know?"

"surrender your life and i'll make you into a pretty bow!" you scowl, kicking your legs beneath her. she tilts her head at your threats.

"you think i would willingly let the theft devil stay in my home?" kishibe mutters, tugging quanxi up. she brushes the dirt off her as you stand as well, trying to lunge at her when kishibe holds you back. "makima put her under my care a few months ago, since the last host we fought got away from us."

you frown, looking away and tossing your sword into the pile of clothes in the corner. "your partner is a hybrid, kishibe. i can smell the distasteful scent." you huff, tugging on his shirt that you wore, "you devil hunters are the strangest beings on earth, working with your enemies..."

"calm it, y/n." he says, standing in front of you. you roll your eyes, crossing your arms and turning away, marching to the balcony where you throw open the sliding door and lean against the railing. the wind blows the shirt gently and kishibe looks back at quanxi. "she's a bit possessive."

"the theft devil often is." quanxi responds, fixing her jacket, "it seems she's claimed you as hers."

"she's technically mine since she's living under my roof." kishibe defends, hands on his hips.

quanxi looks around the apartment. "it doesn't look like it." she grabs her blade, sheathing it, and walks to the exit. "i'm waiting in the car. do what you must."

as she leaves, shutting the door behind her, kishibe turns to you. you're still sulking, making it known by the way you cross your arms and glare at the buildings in front of you. kishibe walks in your direction, putting his weapons on the counter. he then stands behind you, hands bracing the railing to trap you between it and his chest. you lean further into the railing, almost squishing your ribs in a desperate plea to get away from him.

"you can't fight anyone i bring to this apartment, y/n." he tells you, making you frown.

"why are you bringing others to my home?" you counter, tugging on your collar, "i don't want anything that isn't mine to come here."

"alright, alright." kishibe says, wrapping his arms around you and tugging you into his chest. you squirm, trying to get out, when you feel his lips press a kiss to your neck. you stop moving, shivering at his touch. "i guess you just feel nervous meeting other people."

"hm." you grumble back, hands trapped against your chest as kishibe holds you. he leans back, leaning a chin on your shoulder. "i want her head."

"she won't let you have it." he tells you.

"i'll steal it myself. it's what i'm good for." you claim, remembering her scent. you can identify where she is, sitting in the backseat of the black car out front. you perk up a little, kishibe tilting his head. "she smells of other fiends."

"i never know what quanxi gets up to." kishibe responds, rubbing the back of his head. he pushes himself away from you, watching as you turn to face him. "i have a job to get to. i'll bring home some dinner, got it?"

"okay." you respond, holding his sleeve. he stops and stares at you. "come home soon."

"i will." he says, kissing your forehead, "as soon as possible."

"good." you mutter out, holding him in his place. kishibe lets out a small chuckle, watching as you purse your lips. he then dips towards you and connects lips, giving you the gentle treatment as you eagerly kissed him back.

it had only been a couple of months, but you had managed to gain feelings for kishibe. and with your nature as the theft devil, of course you'd become jealous when you saw something that wasn't yours. kishibe had assumed it was your power at work, but slowly began to warm up to your attitudes and eventually reciprocated them.

he didn't know whether makima had planned this to make sure he was always on the public safety division's side, as you were technically 'property' of makima and she could do whatever she pleased with you, or if makima had no idea of your feelings. but kishibe knew for sure that he wanted you all to himself as you wanted him.

the second group to meet you is a young himeno, who knocks on kishibe's apartment door in hopes of getting him to help her track down another fragment of the gun devil. but it's early in the morning and you're in the kitchen trying to make your own breakfast since kishibe came home late last night.

"he better answer... if he gets mad, he can argue with makima, she sent me here." himeno sighs, placing a hand on her hip. she begins to knock again. "kishibe! open up! c'mon, this won't take long!"

the door swings open and you chuck out your hand straight away, trying to grasp at himeno. your vision focuses on her, and you watch as she pulls away quickly, her widening her eyes and attempting to push your hand away.

you fail to make himeno one of your possessions, making you dodge her punch and step back into the apartment.

"a fiend? who the hell are you?" himeno mutters, fixing her collar. she steps forward with caution, not knowing if you were dangerous enough to call upon her contract. "i'm pretty sure this is kishibe's apartment."

"leave now." you say, backing up into the living room. your hands held up, ready to fight, tugging on the collar of your (kishibe's) shirt. "or i'll make you my own."

"oh?" himeno giggles, tilting her head at you, "that's sweet of you."

you rush forward, swiping your glass of water on the table and turning it into a clear dagger. you dash at her, ducking under himeno's punch to push her against the closed door, bringing an arm up to strike her in her shoulder. but himeno is quick to react, side-stepping and hooking her arm around your elbow and yanking you down to the ground.

the impact shakes the table beside you that holds kishibe's keys, rattling in the plate. as himeno readies another attack, you roll out of the way and kick her in her stomach, making her land against the door. you turn your dagger in your hand, reeling back and launching it towards her head. himeno, quick to think, ducks down to dodge. the dagger strikes the wooden door, half of it sticking through.

"it's too early for this..." himeno groans, tilting her head at you with a huff.

before you can charge again, kishibe enters in nothing but his sleeping shorts, covering his mouth with a yawn. "mornin', sweetheart. what's for breakfast?" he questions, walking directly to you and unknowingly ignoring the other woman.

"morning..." you drop your act, reaching out and grabbing his arm as he leans forward to land a kiss on your cheek. he wraps a loose arm around your shoulders, making you walk towards the kitchen where himeno stood, confused. "i was thinkin' we go out for lunch. as long as i can see you, it shouldn't be a problem."

"um... kishibe?" himeno says, blinking at the sight of her coworker and a stranger/fiend so close. "what is going on?"

the man almost looks annoyed, but he wipes his face and sighs loudly, "what are you doing here?"

"makima sent me to discuss the gun devil shard that has popped up around here." himeno speaks, watching as kishibe grabs some sweatpants from the folded laundry on the couch and puts them on, "she said you may have some intel."

"well i don't know jackshit about that, so you've wasted your time." he calls, opening the fridge and taking out two eggs. he saw your bowl of cereal on the counter and placed it in front of you with a spoon, watching you begin to eat with your eyes on the two strangers. "i see you've met y/n."

"that fiend?" himeno scoffs, crossing her arms as she watches you eat your breakfast. aki's eye twitched at how familiar you sat in the room of devil hunters. "how long has she been under your watch?"

"probably around half a year now. surprised nobody else has noticed, to be honest." kishibe says, watching as you sit in silence now, "you two should become friends."

"fuck off." himeno grunts, crossing her arms and shaking her head.

"no way!" you shout, slamming your half-empty bowl on the bench.

"fine." kishibe responds, shrugging his shoulders. he waits until you return to eating to speak to himeno. "you should get goin'."

"right..." she sighs, collecting herself, "you stay safe, kishibe."

"you too." he says, watching as she leaves the apartment. he then lets out a breath, ruffling your hair. "c'mon, y/n. you can't keep doin' that every time someone comes in, got it?"

"whatever!" you call, pushing his hand away, "stop bringing random people in here!"

your complaints are common, but kishibe can't help that. he only nods, like always, and kisses the side of your head.

"alright, sweetheart. i won't." he chuckles, sitting beside you.

he hears about the next time he goes into work. makima asks him to keep the secret of you quieter, even though she was the one who sent himeno to his place knowing full well you were there. he begrudgingly agrees.

he listens because he would rather die than lose you. there's no way he'd let you land in the hands of makima...

you stole his heart. and he knew you had no intention of giving it back or sharing.

[alwaysxlarrie]

harry is louis’ baby fic rec masterlist part 2 :)

hi hello, so, i actually started putting together this masterlist at the end of april (since then, ‘ain’t that a kick in the head!’ has been deleted, which was on the original list. big rip) but then life just kept getting in the way. & i have like 57485 fic rec masterlists that i want to get out but i wanted to post this one first, so. here i am. i usually do 50 fics per rec list, but this is 25. so it seems i can do a (semi) shorter fic rec list. who would’ve thought? anyway, enjoy!!

a million roses (bathed in rock n’ roll) by deLILAh

i’d come across this fic a number of times before i actually read it because i don’t listen to lana del rey (thank you jennifer & @hlkings for showing me the wonders of her music) so i wasn’t sure if i’d be able to follow the storyline. but!!! worry not. that knowledge isn’t required. amazing strangers to lovers, good smut, 10/10 relationship development & individual character development 

and the truth shall set you free... by @jaerie / jaerie

jaerie knows i love this fic. my friends know i love this fic. i’m pretty sure most of the world’s population knows too. the relationship development in general & portrayal of inexperienced!harry/experienced!louis is top tier. it’s interesting reading harry going through his journey, in a generally pretty accurate way (from the perspective of someone who grew up religious), so i love that it’s in harry’s pov. i love how louis goes from teasing to soft to guiding so naturally, as well.

a rose, by any other name by @canonlarry / iwillpaintasongforlou

this fic portrays protective louis so well while harry’s still independent & in charge of his own autonomy. there’s some mentions of violence in this, just a disclaimer, but it’s veryyyyy minor! really good (dark) plot twist at the end too!

a cage for every ugly spirit by sarcasticfluentry

listennnnnnnnnnnnn. this fic??? & it’s sequel???? amazing. top tier. i just love how all the different elements of religion, kink, romance, smut, etc connect

be my little good luck charm by 100percentsassy

the flirting!!!!!! my heart!!!!!!!!!! i know larry hitting it off right away is a canon trope & all that but it’s not always easy to write in a way that doesn’t feel rushed & this fic depicts that perfectly. there’s so much wonderful humor, fluffy moments & lots of domesticness.

baby we could be enough (i’ll make this feel like home) by orphan account

i am an absolute sucker for fics where either harry or louis is a single father & the other one just swoops into their life & fits. & that’s exactly how this fic is. i’m not an angst person at all, but i also love how there’s realistic angst/concerns that a single parent would have about bringing another person into their lives. other than that bit, there’s still a whole lotta fluff !!

breathless for eternity by cabinbythesea

wow another fic where they’re strangers, hit it off immediately & have the cutest dynamic!! i’m a walking cliché atp but listen, although this is mostly pwp imo, the way louis picks up on harry’s mannerisms, what he needs as a sub, how to tease, etc is beautiful???? that takes talented writing!! we love to see it?? thank you for this???

boy for sale by @ohpleaselarry / ohpleaselarry

i mean, listen. do be mindful of the tags & what not, but. at the very core, harry is simply louis’ baby & you will not be convincing me otherwise. i would absolutely die for a prequel or a sequel. the undertones throughout this fic are *chef’s kiss*

baby thinking of you keeps me up all night by ballsdeepinjesus

i am nothing if not consistent with loving famous!louis/fanboy!harry fics, alright? you gotta give me that at least. the internal struggle louis goes through throughout the majority of this fic is so funny but also so real of him??? plus, we love thigh fucking here, so. a winner in my book!

do not falter (there’s a star ahead) by @londonfoginacup / ladylondonderry

all you need in life is harry feeling safe surrounded by louis’ scent. shit, me too, harold. there’s so much cuteness in such a short lil fic & altho it’s open ended, we all know they got together & lived happily ever after, thank you v much

gotta get (me) outta my head by @parmahamlarrie / parmahamlarrie

i have severe adult adhd & the way bee wrote this is phenomenal at making anyone who has adhd feel so seen & understood. i dream about writing my struggles w adhd as wonderfully as she did. & the way louis helps harry & is there for her in just the right ways so, so fantastically done. top tier fic for sure. 

heartbeat (fire on fire) by @larryficwriter / theifinlife

this fic was written for my @notjustsmutficfest & i adore it. louis being so vulnerable to comfort harry, louis’ family being so supportive, the check ins during the smut, the way harry makes sure louis is okay too??? I’M CRYING PEOPLE (also, there’s great smut, too)

i love this feeling (but i hate this part) by @lululawrence / lululawrence

i love the crack mixed with cute dynamic mixed with dealing with very real life situations. & the teasing at the end????? i cry!!! give this a read asap rocky

i’ll crash until you notice me by @aliensingucci / stylinsoncity

i love the pacing & how it brings in realistic elements of a boss/employee relationship while not taking out you out of the fic. top tier smut & dirty talk. the bar + bathroom scene??? that shit was art. also i love how much harry went to bat for the natives & kept coaxing louis to respect the culture of the buildings & all that. (like it’s the bare minimum really but i do like the fact that the fic went into that aspect & acknowledged it!)

late night talking by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything

this is simply just me continuing to not let lauren forget how much i love this fic. i could talk about this fic for hours & i’ve included this on a masterlist before but idc bc listen. the sneak dating?? the flirting?? the tension building?? there were a few plot points that kept me on my toes (everett, i’m looking at you & how long you managed to stick around for) & i respect that. i have so much more i could say about this fic but i’ll stop here so i don’t spoil anything lol.

my pleasure (to make you mine) by @zanniscaramouche / zanni_scaramouche

i don’t think i’ve let zanni have a moment of peace about this fic since i read it. for that, zanni, i’m sorry. but i’m also really, really not. the way their dynamic right off the bat is so seamless & louis does his best to make harry feel comfortable is what we in the industry like to call cinema. prior to this fic i didn’t really care one way or the other about nipple play in fics & now i don’t understand why it doesn’t occur more in fics?? zanni, you’ve changed me as a woman thx bb

meow or never by velvetnoodle

as a cat lover who has attempted to discreetly bring cats home before & a louis lover, i understand harry’s dilemma. i would also do exactly what he did if given louis’ offer. i will leave it at that & will let you bask in the magic that is this fic.

no bunny but you by @crinkle-eyed-boo / crinkle-eyed-boo

this is another fic i will simply never shut up about. louis is smooth as shit??? like. i WISH a guy would do for me what he did for harry in this. there’s just so much to adore in this from the flirting, the teasing, the relationship developments, the softness, all the little plot twists. 10/10, top tier, no notes

promise not to fade away by @nobodymoves / you_explode

i adore the way this toed the line of angst & fluff so well. it’s so sweet & cute & hot & has an open/ambiguous ending that still gives you a sense of closure imo. as someone who typically is not an open/ambiguous ending fic fan, i absolutely endorse this fic. 

stood up by panda_bear21

the pop punk!louis/popstar!harry (or the bad boy!louis/good boy!harry) trope will always give me the will to live. i love this fic bc it’s cute & does sexual tension well & while it does bring up closeting & general hollywood shittiness, it does a good job of making you feel like it’s not the actual focus of the plot & still leaves you with some hope, if that makes sense & i appreciate that v much

three french hems by 100percentsassy & gloria_andrews

idk if it’s because i started reading fan fics on wattpad (i mean, really my journey started w fanfiction.net & the fics that had the actual fic in the youtube description box & the video was a slideshow of pics but i digress) but i have a soft spot for smaus. & they can be....tricky (the wattpad homies know) but this is done so well & i need someone to get louis some perfectly cooked prawns pls!!!! also louis having a thing for harry’s thighs rly makes this baby a winner imo

to be a better man by @thedevilinmybrain / devilinmybrain

i have a weak spot for fics where harry or louis cheat on their significant other w each other. it’s my guilty pleasure. sue me. jen is so good at describing feelings, actions, etc to make you feel like you’re in the fic watching it happen. i adore the changes in larry’s dynamic, how smoothly it all happened, how much louis cared & understood exactly what harry needed, how easily harry gave in &let louis take care of him. i would absolutely read a part 2 of this w harry & louis together

wrapped in light, in life, in love by orphan account

i will never not be obsessed w fics that have the louis is gemma’s best friend & harry’s in love w him trope. that mixed w how easily & instantaneously harry & louis get along even after not seeing each other for years? add a dash of harry having louis’ baby & how obvious they are about their feelings for each other? GIMME

when we were young by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16

ok so this is a series, not a fic B U T i feel like  you can read the fics stand alone & you can feel the vibe from each fic, but i think since they both have the ~vibe~ you just feel it all so much more when you read them together. ANYWAY. they’re so obviously smitten w each other & of course everyone else can see it but them. harry is an oblivious shit but we love him (&so does louis).

you took my heart by surprise by @loveislarryislove / livelaughlovelarry

it takes a while for harry & louis to warm up to each other, but once they do, it is just...so, so good. annika’s writing will make you feel like you’re actually experiencing the same emotions as the characters are. louis’ protectiveness & how adamant he is to not let anything get in the way of protecting harry, including himself is so heartbreakingly sweet. i cry. i adore how annika describes the emotionally conflicting emotions & situations while keeping the undertone of how much they care about & want each other. annika does not play when it comes to angst & that is a warning (although this is def not her most angst-filled fic by any means)

your heart can love again by sloganeer

this fic speaks to the famous!louis/fanboy!harry stan in me. a shocker, truly, i know! it’s so cute. i love how their relationships transitions in a way that’s quick but doesn’t feel forced & just makes sense -- the way they get domestic so quickly is simply *chefs kiss*

**friendly reminder to please leave kudos & comments on any of the fics you end up reading from this !! show the writers some love :)**

[trashlie]

Love and Deepspace Thoughts

I promised some thoughts about Love and Deepspace and we're a week into the game and I think I can finally ramble about it for a while. I've been immensely enjoying myself and screaming daily with my friends lol and I think I've been able to formulate my thoughts pretty well! Idk how many people actually wanna read this, but I always love to have a record of my thoughts - especially something this early in game, because knowing papergames, there's going to be so much angst, so many twists and turns, and I'm already seeing a lot of threads of how things could play out and I like to be able to look back and see how wrong I was lol.

I play on the North American server and have completed chapter 7, so this will be full of spoilers for story content, as well as a lot of spoilers for anecdotes, tender moments, and some of the myth stuff - I'll try to denote where I'll mention certain spoilers in case you're trying avoid certain things, but it'd be impossible to write all of my sincere thoughts and capture all of what I really love and am looking forward to without spoilers, unfortunately.

Below will have a lot of thoughts on the current LIs as well as speculation about the 2 coming LIs, as well as their dynamics, and further speculation on where I think - or maybe just would like to see - the story could be going. To be clear, I have not cleared all anecdotes or myths, as I'm trying to savor things and good lord I cannot pull all those cards; a lot of this is compilation between my experiences as well as @poisonheart and further things I've read and discussed in the server. I will also be approaching this as a longtime player of MLQC, papergames' other otome game, because I cannot help but see the comparisons between the game and sing the praises of where I feel like they've grown and refined, but I don't think you'll need to have played MLQC to read this - you can honestly just ignore those bits lol >A<

What I can outright, sans spoilers, say is that I'm really enjoying Love and Deepspace so much and I think that it's come at a really good time for me, personally, as a MLQC player, because there's so much in game that's been completed and we're basically going through the motions doing our dailies, waiting for our new chapter events or participating in the occasional events (if you aren't hoarding resources for SP wish tree events) so it feels SO refreshing to dive into a new game that takes place in the same universe/world but have so much new stuff to uncover, so much new lore, new characters to meet and get to know. In MLQC I have a very clear favorite, but so far in LADS, I find that while I think I might have a favorite, I really enjoy all three LIs so much and I don't feel bad when I pull someone else's card, because it means I get to gobble all the lore! I don't feel like "UUUGGHH THIS GUY" when we get to X's chapter route. Perhaps it's just that LADS really caters to specific tropes and cliches in a way that I enjoy, but I feel so much like they've done these characters great justice! This goes for the MC, too, who doesn't feel at all like a cookie cutter MC meant to be a stand in for our own self-insert, but rather has a lot of personality of her own, is feisty and discerning.

Also, I gotta give a lot of props to the character customization features. I understand why people are upset that you can only change your hair and hair color in the photobooth function, but we rarely see MC out of that feature - so much of the game is in first person POV - and the times that we do see her, she's seen from the back, so maintaining the same hair for all characters allows them to keep something they can use for her stand in in such scenarios. But the customization is legit nuts! You can do so much with it, I spent so long tweaking mine the day before the game launched! I want to make side accounts I will never play just to play with that function lol

But let's get into the good stuff!

I really cannot sing the praises for the LIs enough, and that's going to be the bulk of what I'll talk about, because even this early in game, there's so much nuance to the LIs in both their characters as well as their dynamics with MC. Everyone brings a little something different to the table, and with what little we know of the upcoming LIs, I think even if for some reason the current LIs don't work for people, maybe the new ones might? But personally, I am so invested in all three of them! While I think I have a definite ranking in favor forming, it's not like it means I dislike any of them at all, and I'm always so eager to learn more!

One thing I'd like to mention before getting into it is that I love the inclusion of the myth cards, and though they are treated as alternate universes, I think it's more like they are previous or parallel timelines, but I'll try to get into that a little more as I talk about the characters!

From what I can see so far, I think Rafayel is one of the more popular fans with the North American/English-speaking fanbase - and it's not hard to see why! He's sassy, provides good comedy, he's fun to bully, and he's really pouty. I had a feeling he would be my favorite from the get go, just because I tend to have a thing for really pathetic men lmao and I have SUCH a fondness for him. I said I think I have a ranking forming, but it feels WRONG to rank them because that's how much I really like them, but if I had to, Rafayel's #2 position is really, REALLY close to #1! But the thing is, it's not just because of all of those traits above. I'd argue that he's one of the characters who has a lot of iceberg depth, as in there's a lot of depth to him that may get ignored or glossed over because of the sass and brattiness that accompanies, or even masks, it. As poisonheart puts it, the comedy hides the pain - and Rafayel comes with a LOT of pain! There's a delicious complexity to him where he is one part needy and clingy, but also one part resentful and hurt. MC made a promise that she doesn't recall - whether it was in this life or another - and you really get the sense that Rafayel wants to settle the score, but at the same time his feelings get in the way of those bitter, hurt feelings, and I really enjoy this complexity a lot! I think it elevates all of the sassiness, gives it a purpose and meaning.

Take his Nightly Stroll Bond: on the one hand it comes across as comedic and even manipulative -and it is! But when you get into it, you understand why. That's not to say if I think there's justification for manipulation because that's not what I'm here for; I'm just here for a good time and a good time I'm having. But when Rafayel says "It's been 800 years!" I don't think that's an exaggeration - he just isn't talking about just the day that he waited. Is faking an injury/illness and checking himself into a hospital overkill? Sure lol but that's what makes him so delightful to me. There's all of this hurt and unaddressed resentment, but as much as that, there's all of these feelings! Because even though he's hurt, he CARES about MC, SO MUCH. That's the problem! It would be easier if he didn't care, but he does. He's so needy, so clingy, he wants her attention because he's waited for so long while she was off, having forgotten him, living a life that abandoned and left him behind while he waited and waited and listen ;~; my stinky fish man I'm so sorry I cannot wait for her to learn the truth. I want to know SO BADLY what happened! When did they meet, anyway? He makes a comment on the homescreen when he's sulking lol about "See you in three months... three minutes, landlubber"

HOW LONG DID HE WAIT FOR HER IF ONE MINUTE IS ONE MONTH TO HIM?!

And listen, idk what anyone else thinks, but the end of chapter 7 had me in my FEELINGS, with the way he tried to leave her at the bottom of the ocean - but he couldn't, because of their promise, because he's unable to go back on it, because even though she forgot all about him and their promise and went about her life without a memory of him, he can't do that. It's the hurt! It's the resentment! It's the confliction between his feelings, because it seems like they take up equal space - his hunger for her attention, for what feels like she was so fickle to give and take away, the way she meant so much to him and he feels like it wasn't the same ;A;

(I've contemplated how possible it is that they met when she was younger, before she was attacked in the Wanderer incident 14 years ago, and if that could somehow have affected her memory, but I feel like it must be something greater, because seeing the fish glow in his heart means the vow they made was binding, so something strong must've caused her to forget. But that's also why I've contemplated if this was in another life? I'm less sure about this, because in Rafayel's second anecdote, he crosses paths with MC at university, though of course she doesn't recognize or recall him, and he specifically recognizes her voice. "Though her voice has matured, her pronunciation, enunciation, the rhythm of her speech, and even the emphasis in her sentences... Every word strikes like a drumbeat, awakening long-buried memories in his mind" It feels more likely that it happened while they were younger. Also I feel like this passage really encompasses her significance, that he can recall these details, to recognize them after so much time ;~; stinky fish you make my heart ache ;~;)

I appreciate so much that they've given Rafayel so much depth, that under the comedy of his pathetic, sulky exterior is so much reason for it, that there's an undercurrent of resentment and something dark - after all, we haven't actually uncovered what happened with the painting and Raymond. We saw the mermaid skeleton in his house - was Rafayel seeking revenge for his people?

But Rafayel also shows tremendous emotional sensitivity, in ways that sometimes catch me off guard. I distinctly remember lol sitting in shock after 4-3, and the text from Rafayel that pops up asking MC if she got the thing, telling her about how he asked a seagull to send a white seallshell why hasn't it arrived yet lol and I remember going "NOT NOW RAFAYEL READ THE ROOM ;~;" and then he goes on, telling her "if you draw on it and put it into the ocean the sea will carry the feelings you poured into the drawing to the soul you yearn for" and I just started SOBBING lol ;~; It was just so.... poignant but so simple. He didn't say I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences or anything like that - it was his own chaotic, weird method, but it was sincere. Likewise, he shows that similar sincerity in Ocean At Night, despite initially dismissing paper lanterns as silly human traditions - a lantern will be blown out why would you put all your hope in something so fleeting - coming around to using his own flame, that will never go out, to light a lantern for MC with the prayer that her hopes will never go out. ;~; Listen, I cried. I was TENDER my heart was soggy ;~;

And while I know people love a good pathetic man and enjoy chaotic sass and the fact that we really, truly NEVER know where his plots are going to go lmao - always an adventure with him - I hope they appreciate that depth and don't disavow the darker elements of him that give reason to those core elements of him. Rafayel is a character that carries his hurt and bitterness on his sleeve, rather than hiding it or shoving it away, and I really look forward to exploring it and all the messiness it has to offer, and how it will play out for MC.

On the very far end of the spectrum is Zayne. He's the character I expected to not be too fond of, so I was so pleasantly surprised as we got to know him to find myself proven wrong! I expected him to be... hm... I guess colder? More prickly? Than he turns out to be? And, admittedly, he is still rather aloof and cold on the surface, but I think it helps that he and MC have that history and that we are introduced very early to them through the A Frozen Promise Bond. It made it readily apparent that Zayne was not a cold and aloof person because he was too lofty or something but rather... it just seemed like maybe he'd been someone more awkward when he was younger, someone who didn't know how to connect very well with the daughter of this family friend, but he still tried. The snow seal took me out, you guys ;~; I never moved on from that!!!!!!

Despite seeming so cold, there's a certain kind of warmth to Zayne, just under the surface. He shows his care and concern in the ways he knows best, as MC's PCP, caring about her well being and health, but their Tender Moments are a collection of wonderful moments showing them growing closer, getting to know each other better as people, as friends and equals. For the record, Starry Nocturne hurt me so much, but it did two things I thought were so important. a. It showed that he was not infallible, which I think is very important, because often characters are written in their roles as geniuses who never fail, or else accomplish the impossible, and to see him lose a patient, while painful to read, made him so human but also b. It gave him that moment of vulnerability with MC where he could lean on her. It's so, SO important! for a MI to be able to lean on the MC, I feel, for them to be those equals, for him to be able to be vulnerable with her, but especially so for a character like Zayne who feels very reserved and closed off.

MC makes statements about feeling like there's distance between her and Zayne, especially when they first come back into each others' lives for the first time, so getting to indulge in these little Tender Moments of them taking little steps towards each other, closing that gap between them, is so satisfying! Having that history gives them a dynamic unlike Rafayel or Xavier's with her, because she has her memories of their childhood, of who he was when they were younger, and who they are now, and can compare the warmth of him opening up, of the chuckles and laughter she elicits from him. They also have this kind of flirtship I really enjoy - something very coy, not in an uwu so shy way just.... very coy, both dancing around the bush, before one of them calls it what it is - I thought the A Heartfelt Paradise Tender Moment a really good example of this!

It's so easy to read Zayne as being cold and aloof, but he really does have so much warmth, he just isn't good at showing it. He doesn't wear things on his sleeves like Rafayel or MC. But good LORD when he's in private....!!!!!!! The Business Trip Memoria TOOK. ME. OUT!!!!!! This is the game launch and they're already throwing this at us?! It was, to me, such a mature kind of date to give us? Two people who have had to grow used to each other's absence in their lives, and continue having to make space for those absences, as both are busy people - Zayne, a dedicated cardiac surgeon and MC a hunter - and what it means to grow used to the absence and to miss each other. But listen - when MC got in his lap?! She was touching his mouth? His face?! "What did you want me to do, in front of all those people?" he asked her? SIR?!

HELLO?! Girl. Listen.

I had to fan myself alfjkkfkjafjkafkjaf lmao

I looooooove them for that element of normalcy - for the people who have important careers and lives that they have to attend to, but still find the room for each other in their lives. The implication that Zayne rushed his way through school, took on grueling workloads and lacked a social life amongst classmates much older than him, not because he loved learning or even because he was so dedicated to his career - but because it was his way back to MC, so that he could return to stand in front of her? GOD. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? Knowing that he did it all so that he could stand in front of you again? HOWLING pls LISTEN.

Zayne may feel cold on the surface, but he is SO warm, he cares so much. And not just about MC, either. Thank God, too, because I'm not huge on the "Cold man only cares about the woman he loves" type, but Zayne cares so much about his patients, and making sure they feel seen, cared about? His first anecdote had me crying about seniors in hospitals with no relatives to accompany them to their examinations ;~; What a man.

I haven't had a chance to dig into his myth yet, which is a shame, but his third anecdote DID destroy me. I'm not even exaggerating, I was sobbing in my bedroom - and the worst part is I knew it would be painful going in and I still wasn't braced for impact enough! I mean, frankly, both his second and third hurt but nothing like the third! Parallel universe Zayne in a grim reaper role where he must kill humans turning into Wanderers - so very opposite the surgeon version of him who does everything he can to save people, both of them living parallel lives to each other, experiencing each others' lives through their dreams/nightmares. THIS HAS ME SCREAMING!!!!!

So much of MLQC has a lot to do with timelines - parallel worlds, some alternate universes, a whole timeline that's technically the same timeline reset but also still moving forward...... lol I can't help but think about where all of this fits in to LADS. Even though the Myth storylines are taken as alternate universes.... I think they're part of everyone's stories. We see echos of them. I haven't finished Rafayel's but even little moments, like making a break for it and having to run to escape attention echos a scene of Rafayel and the Princess MC making a mad dash in the market alley to escape the palace guards. It feels especially true for Xavier and MC, which I'll get to. But especially with Zayne - whose myth, again, I haven't been able to dig into, but seems to pose him as a sort of god, a forseer - we have two very different timelines/events now: his myth/Philos story and his parallel Grim Reaper self. How many timelines/parallel universes are we playing with, I wonder....?

I really want to revisit this in the future when I do get to dig into his myth, because I can see how Rafayel and Xavier's myths tie into their identities and their dynamics with MC, but I don't know yet how any of that works for Zayne and MC! I'm so intrigued, I can't wait!!!!

And finally, Xavier. God, I should have known lol in retrospect I should have realized Xavier would be my weak spot but listen..... sometimes I gotta lie to myself lol I love everything about him, the seemingly gentle eepy man who is also simultaneously a walking weapon of mass destruction but also so easily stumped by a UFO machine lol. Much like Rafayel, I'm especially fond of him because of the depth and dynamics, but also, honestly, much like Rafayel, he just checks all the boxes. Poisonheart puts it best when she says Xavier is the perfect middle-ground of the two - he's not as sassy as Rafayel is, but he'll still roast MC, he's very grounded and comes off a little aloof sometimes, but he doesn't seem nearly as aloof as Zayne, and he's also really unintentionally funny! He plays the middle-ground of them SO well. And where Zayne was working hard in order to show up in front of MC again and Rafayel has a score to settle but also so much neediness, it feels like Xavier has a LOT of karma to make up for.

Now, I personally don't have his myth cards, but poisonheart does, so everything I know I've experienced via her and all of our hours of screaming lol and the thing that really gets me the most about Xavier and MC is like..... okay it's the way he's clearly this really incredibly strong guy, but he plays the submissive prey role so well? lol He begs if she tells her to, he doesn't resist, he indulges her, he plays along - but when the mood strikes, he'll pull the dominant switch and flip the table and alkfjlFKJKAFJ ALKJFAF LAKJFAKFKJFAJ AFLKJD GODDDDDDDD IT GETS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Xavier has that sense of like.... everything for MC, right? Like he's making up for a lifetime. There's implications that maybe he's been searching through space and time for her, trying to find her, that they've lost and each other countless times before - or rather, she's lost him - and his Shooting Stars myth supports this. Sometimes it's really subtle, sometimes it stands out so much I'm in agony. She remarks so often how he feels so distant, like he's as out of reach and mysterious as a star. She has nightmares about him disappearing and he is incredibly reassuring about staying, about not leaving. And maybe I'm reading into it, but he even talks about her hanging on tight, like maybe if she's strong enough, she can keep him from ever being taken away, keep them from being separated this time.

He's also the one who feels like he's actually endured all the years. Rather than separate timelines or parallel worlds it feels like Xavier has actually traveled through space and time, like he's the same Xavier from the myth himself, which makes him talking about the loneliness of stars so much worse. How long has he been alone, searching for her? ;~;

But their dynamic just really gets to me - it's those echos, the way MC subconsciously acts on them, and how indulgent Xavier is towards her. It's the playful teasing and the gentleness and how he plays so submissive and docile but when the mood strikes he can switch it up and catch her (and me!!!) off guard. It's the way he texts LMAO never writing out you or one lmao (which is marginally better than Rafayel's COMPLETE LACK OF PUNCTUATION LMAO ALFKAJFKJAFKJAFKJAFJK) It's the way he has that innocent baby face and could absolutely get away with murder.

Initially I had contemplated if it was possible he is actually a star and while maybe that isn't true I am still not certain he's human - at least he's not from our world (especially if he really is the very Xavier from the myth) but I still like to think of him as one, because he wears the star motif so well and likens himself to one so often. Also, look, I am a SUCKER for a star motif. I was doomed from the start lol.

There's just something about the agony and TRAGEDY in their past, in the echos, the subconscious fears, and the sheer indulgence!!!!! It's MC telling Xavier he might be her enemy later and the distress it caused him, prompting him to share his access privileges with her to earn her trust ;A; It's the way he's apparently spent DECADES, at the VERY LEAST, on our earth AND HE'S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE COOK lmaoooooooo it's the stupid little lines he says because he's not as overtly clingy and pouty as Rafayel but an armful of plushies is a dreadful thing because then he doesn't have a free hand to hold MC's hand !!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS?! WHINES

I could write a whole essay about Xavier and I'm restraining myself and attempting to be really, really normal about him okay?

But yeah for him it's that depth of like... the guilt and agony he carries - because not only does leaving her hurt him, but it hurts himself, too. That unbearable loneliness, the endless wait, hoping, wondering, unsure of when, or if, he'll find her again, but refusing to give up - and when he does, endeavoring to make up for it. Like, as it is, there's something about strong men being submissive that is so lakkjfkafkjfkjaf alfjakfaf but it's the way Xavier does it with MC that is soooooo INDULGENT, so VERY "for you, because it's you" that makes me want to chew my keyboard and howl at the moon and every time he reassures her he won't leave I feel dread but also I want it to be true.

I know how papergames operates. I know Xavier may mean it, but I also know.... ;A;

And to think, this is all JUST THE LAUNCH STUFF! We haven't even passed chapter 8 yet lmao We don't even have all our LIs! We've (maybe?) yet to meet our antagonist? WHICH I'M EXCITED ABOUT BTW

Listen.

I have some thoughts and I'll try to keep them short (yknow, for me) because this is already long and rambly and maybe I can just expand on this later but: Sylus and Caleb are confirmed as LIs right? But are they the same person or not??????

If Sylus = Caleb it gives us a LOT of potential for exploring some really complex, grey morality. I mean, no matter what, Sylus is going to bring grey morality lol but especially if it turns out Caleb is actually secretly the leader of Onychinus, because it brings that whole "Who is this person I thought I knew?" and more so because Onychinus is poised as an enemy to the Hunter's Association.

But something Papergames has done in MLQC and I fully expect them to do here is explore grey morality, not only in Onychinus, but the Hunter's Association. Xavier's Tender Moments Garden of Secrets brings up the implication that some Wanderers are, in fact, intelligent, and while it's rare, it can occur. And with parallel world Grim Reaper Zayne having to kill people before they turn into Wanderers it begs the question of this world: can that happen here, too? And it gets into the moral conundrums. That's not to say the Hunter's Association are bad for killing Wanderers and protecting people but it starts to bring up questions, because in Grim Reaper Zayne's world, this is being covered up. What about this world? There's also the question of what is Onychinus even doing? I fully expect to find that whatever their objective is, it will be a question of the greater good and if the ends justify the means and the such.

Ultimately, an antagonist LI has to be sympathetic in some fashion, because how else are they going to write the story for them lol. Like they can certainly have Bond/Memoria/Tender Moments that are more about the combative element of their relationship meeting the chemistry that draws them to each other, but at any rate, there has to be something that draws them to each other and makes them care, right? So therefore, he can't be entirely bad, or at least MC has to be able to empathize with him and his objective, or the cause of it or something like that.

If Caleb = Sylus, that might be more achievable because of their history, but obviously that isn't a requirement, and that can also make it more complex, because again, that whole "this person I thought I knew".

I think there's a possibility for that overlap partly because we already have a LI with a history with MC - but to be fair, Zayne's history with MC is very different than Caleb's and has a different dynamic, so even if they didn't give him the villain route, it would still play out very differently and give them a significantly different enough dynamic that I don't think it would be a big issue.

If he's not Sylus, then there's still a lot of avenues to explore with Caleb. They've already implied that Caleb wants to take care of MC, wants her to lean on him and let him play that role for him, to stop being so strong in front of him, and I think that could very well affect his story and what has lead to his "death". Being in the airforce makes me wonder if it's possible that the military is associated in any way with Onychinus - after all, didn't he say that he does top secret work involving the deepspace tunnel, and isn't Onychinus interested in that? It wouldn't be the first time a government agency was written as being corrupt lol (and again there could be a lot gray morality here where Onychinus isn't necessarily inherently bad). Caleb could have gotten involved simply by his job.

There's the revenge angle, if he, too, was an experiment subject (which would make sense because why did Granny take him in as well?) and wanting to get back at? the people who experimented on them. Or wanting to be more involved? A spy case? SO many possibilities and I'm really excited to see where it all goes!

I think regardless of how Caleb is reintroduced to the story, I imagine there's going to be some kind of conflict - his "death" and then reappearance.... did he know that was going to happen? was it planned? was he involved? I don't think they'll bring him back and yay! now she has a family member back but I think there will be some kind of strife to work through, some good ol angst that really plays with the dynamic of feeling hurt and betrayed but wanting to return to the old times that can never be returned to, wanting to seek refuge in someone who maybe doesn't exist anymore, being drawn to someone you cared so much about and feeling so conflicted about it alfkjkfjkjafjkaf kj

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a rambling mess so kudos to anyone who made it this far. Maybe I'll manage to write some more bitesized thoughts later @___@

[serpenndragon]

Ok hear me out on this idea qsmp skephaloers I'm talking to you

I've had this fic idea for YEARS. like. actual years since the dsmp days and I'm obsessed

Ok so. I am in awe I havent really seen content of this idea at all but the TLDR is that one day the CCs wake up as their characters, on the island, eggs (which are baby dragons) and all And I don't just mean "woah omg the qsmp is real we're our characters" I mean like. Shock. Body Horror. Parental responsibilities put on these people they never expected to have, forms features and instincts they have to get used to. Phil, Quackity, Baghera, Jaiden? Hva eto get used to having feathers and other birdisms, but they have the easiest out of all the members who werent just mostly humanoid, Bad, Bagi, and Foolish for example? Have newly aqquired teeth claws strange anatomy and all sorts of other wackadoodle stuff O_o

This fic would be verrrrryyy skephalo centric, Skeppy is at his motel with Jr and eventually Puffy, that must have been a shocker lmao

I've actually sketched out a lot for this idea (specifically Bad's pov waking up and a bit of Skeppy's pov) hold on

blurgg as you can see very roug but hopefully it makes sense kinda ??? maybe ????

More ideas for this I rambled about:

I feel like bad and the other islanders would be working on stuff/trying to figure shit out while Puffy and Skeppy (and jr) were all trying to find if anyone else they knew was around Bad would claim he somehow "felt" Skeppy was somewhere (which is his demon soulbond he has with Skeppy, it's not just a normal feeling cough cough) and Skeppy would be convinced Bad HAD to be around also because Jr and Puffy were there, they were their characters, the fictional kid he had with Bad was with him so he just had to be Quackity and the other admins would ofc not be the gatekeeping overlords of the island and actively work to figure shit out, including using the train system and seeing if anyone else they knew was around I have an idea that they'd send people out from the island, (like maybe group members who havent met skeppy before) who find Skeppy/jr/puffy, and realize who they are Bad would have stayed on the island because of his protectiveness over the eggs (thanks demon instincts) and couldnt leave them, and they figured he'd be the best bet to keep them safe anyways, + he was losing hope that his "feeling" that skeppy was around was real and just delusion that is UNTIL the other islanders come back with a new few people ermmm shocked teary reunion when

Aaaaaand I actually sketches this out too woah (this is one I wanna clean up for SURE bc omg

ANYWAYSSS you gotta get on board with this one I'm sooo so normal abt it

aughh more ideas:

- the other islanders dont know what skeppy and bad's deal is LOL half of them think theyre boyfriends (and for drama purposes, in this they are not officially yet but by god are they obvious) - Bad semi flipping the FUDGE out because his demon features are a LOT to get used to and he has instincts he has to repress and just lots of silly stuff. like why is he so pissed Skeppy's taking food from somebody else? Why does he feel like Dapper and the other eggs need to stay close to him at all times/ride on his back? Instead of his regular nervous bbh sounds he makes inhuman garbles and growls which is new, not to menation the mountainload of other things like his anatomy and going from a warm to cold blooded creature LOL his eyesight is also different and he's sensitive to light - Skeppy and Bad have like. actual children now which is a huge fucking deal hello??? They gotta navigate and talk that shit out because jr is like a 5 year old and Dapper + the other eggs while still being the admins are baby dragons O_o They went through crazy changes as well, being a baby animal comes with having baby behavior despite their intelligence - Besides ALL THAT after being overjoyed with seeing eachother again, Skep and Bad have like a little argument over Bad refusing to see skeppy as frequently as he promised to which Bad is like "are u rlly worried about that right now look around you" ermmm a little beef there but they figure it out dw

- hmmm idea what if everyone realizes that the code entity is not an admin, and is a real thing tryuing to kill them maybe (?) omg maybe - Skeppy gets to meet all teh babies!!! I have a feeling he'd get along with the eggs great but also maybe have a small rivalry with a few of them?? lol in a silly way - Islanders find more about themselves and the things they can do yay! Like ppl with wings learn to fly, ppl learn their weapons, magic users start to learn magic and they all decided to learn asl for the eggs - lotssss of angst these motherfuckers are still so confused and miss their regular lives despite the incredible and odd situation theyre in - islanders are still confused on what skeppy and bad's deal is like. they have kids they live together and dont leave eachother's sides prettymuch and go to eachother for comfort primarily - Bad and Skeppy disregard remarks and questions about their relationship THIS IS THEM CENTRIC ALWAYS N FOREVER… - skephalo need to have "the talk", bad needs to face his insecurities and skeppy needs to face his sexuality crisis

silly dads with their silly kids (real) this sketch is kinda old but I wanna clean it up sometime maybe and it fits with this idea very much WRITERS HIII If someone with qsmp knowledge is interested in maybe collabing with me to bring this idea to life please do hmu

IM GOING TO EXPLODE SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME U GET ME WITH THIS ONE aughh also I want to yap about this so bad

PLEASE ask any questions u have, my response box is open and you're welcome to in the comments to!! Or dms idc

AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!! am I crazy or no

If you've read this far you are a real one anyways live laugh love skephalo

[crazylittlejester]

considering your love of warriors, do you have any fic recs?

There are SO many amazing fics out there, and this is gonna sound INSANE coming from me but most of the fics I read are about Twilight 😭

There was this one fic series I read and loved and I can’t find it, but it was about Legend and Warriors and they kinda became buddies who had each other’s backs? All I remember was something about chess and Legend called Warriors Bluebell (and if anyone can find this fic for me i will owe you my LIFE i think about it AT LEAST once a every two weeks and I think I read it months ago) Edit: Two super awesome people found it, it’s called Broken Together by Flamingidiot on ao3

and then i gotta recommend one of my top 3 favorite fics EVER of all time and that would be Level One by LightBluScrubs on ao3. (IT IS COMPLETE!!)

It was written by someone who works in a trauma center and it’s an au about all of them working in a hospital and they all have their different roles to play to get Wild up and running again after a motorcycle accident. Twilight is the main character i think? But it focuses on all of them really, and you do get different povs. and I’m gonna be 100% honest: I wasn’t the biggest fan of modern au’s UNTIL I READ THIS FIC. (and, yknow, now I have au’s i myself am writing- don’t come at me, i’ve learned the error in my ways, i absolutely love au’s now they’re absolutely fantastic and amazing, i’ve learned i’ve repented)

is it intense at times? absolutely, and it’s a lot of medical stuff, but good lord above i reread it several times a months and i’ll probably go reread it after i hit the post button- the character relationships in that fic are so GOOD. AND ALL THEIR ROLES???? PERFECT. that kinda stuff ain’t for everyone but i love that fic so much and it’s absolutely everything to me, i love it DEARLY the ending made me tear up in the BEST way, it’s fantastic