#by reading and re reading some of my fave stuff about my guy so yeah this happened

[girlpetrarca]

he would have loved ibuprofen

[fitbuturlosingit]

My Fave Fanfic Authors.

I just wanted to do a shoutout post, for my fave fanfic authors. I am a sucker for a good fanfic, and these guys do it better than anyone else, in my humble opinion.

First up, we have my queen @negans-lucille-tblr (AKA Bee). Bee is undoubtedly my favourite writer. I’ve followed her work for a long time, through various different blogs, and for various different fandoms. Her Supernatural fics drew me in, then I fell in love with her Walking Dead and The Boys fics. I currently subscribe to her website, cos it has loads of cool members only stuff, and she writes a banging commission. (She will bounce ideas off you, and makes sure you’re always satisfied with the work). She’s also an absolute angel of a human being, and I’ve had some lovely conversations with her! ❤️

Next up, we have @kittenofdoomage who writes hands down, some of the best A/B/O dynamic fics I have ever read. I’m pretty sure her writing was my first proper discovery of A/B/O, and honestly, she blew my mind. If you like Supernatural, or the Walking Dead, then she should be top of your list. Pretty sure she also introduced me to some new kinks I never knew I had, haha!

Keeping with my Supernatural theme, I’m also going to recommend @pink-sparkly-witch ☺️ If like me you love Dean Winchester, and Jensen Ackles, then this is the blog for you. Her fics are incredible. She writes Jensen and Dean so well, it’s phenomenal. The way she writes paints such a vivid picture. I’m glad that I found her blog through other Supernatural themed blogs.

Moving on to my other obsessions now - The 1975. I’ve got a few authors that I follow, who write amazing 1975 fanfics.

First being @procrastinatinglikeapro who is very friendly, and answers any asks you send towards them. They’ve made me feel very welcome in this fandom, as it’s one of my newer fandoms. I love her writing style. I love how easy her master list is to navigate, she has a little key on there, so you know exactly what it is you’re looking for. Her posts are always a pleasure to see on my dash, and I just get all round good vibes from her. So, if you like The 1975, head on over and drop her a follow!

The next 1975 blog on my list is @tillthelandslide who actually follows me. I don’t have many followers so it meant a lot to me when she followed me. I’ve had some lovely interactions with her, which is always nice, especially when you’re new to a fandom like I am. (I’ve been in to The 1975 for just under a year, now). I originally followed her cos I loved her fics. Her fics are the reason I am now obsessed with Ross MacDonald, so thanks for that, girlie! Made For Me is such a good fic, and I bloody love it. Ross girlies, go read it! Again, her masterlist is easy to navigate, which I love. So yeah, go follow her!

We have the legend that is @lottiecrabie who is responsible for some of the classic 1975 fics. Fics like Don’t Fuck the Linecooks, and Choose Your Own Smut. I loved the innovation of Choose Your Own Smut. Very original idea, well executed. It was the first fic I’d read of hers, and I was HOOKED. Girl can write, hot damn. She’s definitely helped me become totally obsessed with the 1975, and now when I look at Matty pics I think “oooh this is PFMS coded”, or “this is so Linecook Matty”. It’s becoming a problem, haha!

@abiiors is another 1975 legend. Her masterlist is huge. So many incredible fics, so much talent. She’s responsible for me becoming obsessed with George. I never was a George girlie, but now I am. The “Threes a Party” fic changed my life. It was without doubt the hottest thing I have ever read. I still think about it now. Her posts make her seem like such a lovely person, and I feel like if we met, I’d really vibe with her.

@toomuchracket with the d word Matty posts. My god. I love her fics, and her blurbs. The blurbs are always fun little bits to read, and I find myself frequently looking through her masterlist to re-read my favourites. Again, seems like a genuinely nice person. I really enjoy her fluffy blurbs, as well as her smutty posts. Fluff doesn’t usually tend to appeal to me, but the way she writes it is so much more appealing, and interesting. It’s more realistic, and I do love that about her work.

Finally, @the1975attheirverybest is the blog I go to quite often. I find it very reliable in terms of news/updates so it’s a great way of keeping my finger on the pulse, in the fandom. I’ve had some really positive interactions with this blog. I’m trying to avoid using a gender as I don’t want to unintentionally misgender anyone, and I couldn’t see a clear indication of preferred pronouns, hence why I will refer to the blog as they. They have an extensive masterlist with Series, One Shots, and Concepts. It’s easy to navigate. I’ve read so many of their fanfics, and again, I really enjoy the writing style, and the blog itself, not just the fanfiction element.

Thank you for reading, if you managed to stick around until the end. I know it’s a lot of word vomit, and I’ve tried to keep it coherent, but I’m autistic, so my brain can’t always do that shit.

This post is just a massive love letter to my faves on tumblr, sending out good vibes, and love. You guys keep me sane, you give me a great way to unwind, and spend my time, and you keep me positive. So, thank you so much. Forever grateful for every single one of you.

[faeriejones]

Howdy, Kringle here!

I really kind of thought I’d replied to this, isn’t that funny? But then I thought about it more and realized, wait. No. Sorry! Sometimes if I read things and don’t reply right away, I’ll have composed something in my head and the memory of thinking about what I would say becomes a memory of having said it.

Oh it’s cool you checked out Belle and Sebastian! They were just sort of around in the indie air when I was super into music as a teen/young adult, you know, back in the day. My favorite records are If You’re Feeling Sinister, Fold Your Hands Child, and Dear Catastrophe Waitress. I feel the band is a bit TOO democratic sometimes, in that I like the songs not written by Stuart less, so it makes them uneven sometimes! I do think lots of people consider them too “twee,” but I enjoy it. Hmm. Picking single songs is so hard! I was into them back when you listened to a whole CD, you know? But hmm. I cry at “Piazza New York Catcher.” “Get Me Away From Here, I’m Dying” is a good one. “Seeing Other People.” “Stay Loose” Is a bit of a turn for them but it’s so good. OH! “Fought in a War.” Yeah. Ok I will stop now–dammit now I’m gonna listen to all of it again ha.

Honestly, re: Paul and WIngs, I don’t think people actually know which is which. I mean yeah, I think “Wild Life” and “Red Rose Speedway” aren’t great, but everything after that through Back to the Egg, I enjoy! 

A cozy family Christmas is just fine! I’m heading out tomorrow very early to visit the family (I live quite far from the rest of ‘em) and there’s going to be a little juggling since both my brothers have families now and haven’t quite adjusted to the reality of, you know, not necessarily being able to do all the same things anymore! But it’ll be nice to see everyone.

We do watch a lot of films–It’s a Wonderful Life is a fave, of course (again, people think it’s cheery? But it’s dark AF). I tend to prefer the older holiday songs, the Bing Crosby type stuff, or carols. Christmas is largely about nostalgia for me, I guess! Do you have any Christmas favorites? Movies, songs, foods?

hello, Kringle! i hope you’re doing well and that you’re having a lovely week so far!

haha, no worries! i forget to respond to people constantly, so you don’t need to fret about that. ‘tis quite alright, dear chum!

falling even deeper down the belle and sebastian pipeline, i can definitely see why ‘dear catastrophe waitress’ is one of your favorites by them! songs like ‘stay loose’ and ‘roy walker’ are more upbeat in comparison to ‘fold your hands’, and a bit reminiscent of ‘ram’ in some parts. ‘seeing other people’ sounds like a song you’d hear in a coming-of-age film during a scene in which the protagonist undergoes an extensive amount of introspection after a raucous event occurs in the story. ‘get me away from here, i’m dying’ is a well paced, earthy song and i like it! it’s actually wild to think that DCW was released when i was practically a baby! also, if people consider them to be a bit too “twee”, that’s their prerogative. but music should incorporate sweetness and sentimentality, not everything has to be serious!

i must say, i actually like red rose speedway (i mainly like the art that’s included inside the album lol). but it’s one of those albums where i’d really have to be in the mood to listen to in its entirety, y’know? as for wild life, it’s okay. it’s one of his more, and i hate to say this, “forgettable” projects, but it’s not terrible. it’s a record that you can put on as background music during a long car ride through the rural countryside.

it’s funny that you mention ‘it’s a wonderful life’ because there’s an episode of the fairly odd parents that parodies this exact film. which is totally bizarre that a children’s show would reference that because isn’t the movie about a depressed guy who gets rescued by his guardian angel and is basically told, “i’m gonna show you real quick what the world would’ve looked like if you never existed. oh, merry christmas, by the way!”?

i hope you have a lot of fun when you visit your family this year! and yes, children can be quite a handful, haha. surely, your brothers will get the hang of it eventually. although, parenting may be a blessing, i’m assuming it can get rather strenuous at times, as well. my older brother already has two children of his own and he’s still in his mid 20’s! he’s a great father, and i can only hope he and the girls can relax on christmas!

during this time of year, i love watching those stop-motion animated, christmas themed rankin bass films. ones like ‘santa claus is coming to town’, ‘the year without a santa claus’, ‘jack frost’, and of course, ‘rudolph…’ my family and i used to watch those together on abc family all the time when i was younger. as for songs, i’m not particularly into christmas music, but i will say i don’t mind hearing ‘wonderful christmastime’ every now and then (i was on the verge of blacklisting that song from my brain last year at my old job because it would constantly play over the speaker lmaoo) ‘happy christmas (war is over)’ by john is a good tune as well.

speaking of john, we’ve engaged in a lot of paul-related banter so far. so i’d like to ask you ; what is your opinion of his music? how would you evaluate his character as a musician (and if you’d like, as a person as well)?

[theophagie-remade]

"I'm going to wait for Vinland Saga season 2 to drop. I'm not going to read the manga, and if I do I won't do it from the beginning" I said, and lied

Chapter 1

I think it's cool that the manga begins in medias res (and that it even shows the battle's aftermath no less!) :^) I don't want to compare it to Berserk because only about 1848495 people have done it already, but it's a narrative technique that really goes hand in hand with these kinds of stories

*heavy breathing sounds*. Fun how in the anime Thorfinn walks away from the spectator, while in the manga he walks towards the reader. Also maybe it's because the mangaka's style wasn't as refined yet, but Askeladd looks much, much younger here :0

🥺 I think I really like the idea of some of the mercenaries liking Thorfinn, and even looking out for him. It's not an actual Thing, but it's a really cute thought

Chapter 3

Thors is much more expressive in the manga, which I really like🥺 I understand that the anime really wanted to highlight his otherness, in a way, but he feels much more natural this way

Chapter 18

Oh wow, so the manga doesn't say that Helga is Sigvaldi's daughter, but it says that Thorkell is his brother right away :0 I guess that it will make the future reveal more impactful, yeah

Chapter 19

It's so cute how Thorkell calls Thorfinn "little one", I don't even think it's to belittle him, it's just that he's so big and Thorfinn is so small 😭😭

Chapter 27

I haven't mentioned them yet, but I like how the anime made the two brothers reoccurring characters since the beginning, it makes their betrayal a bit more impactful. Not by much, but it does. I think this is the first time Skar shows up in the manga, and I'm almost at the part where they reach Mercia already. On the other hand though the mercenary band feels much more "alive" in the manga exactly because there are many more background characters saying this and that in their place, so I'm a bit conflicted on this

Chapter 40

When Thorkell asked Thors where he would go, he answered "Somewhere that's not here"... I just remembered that the chapter where him and his family are introduced is titled "Somewhere that's not here"... the dots...

Chapter 48

The anime does show Leif looking for Thorfinn but seeing what he does in the manga left me 🥺🥺

'Aight, now that I've finished reading VS's manga prologue it's safe to say that I'm french kissing and holding hands with the anime producers because boy did I not expect that some of the Askeladd/Thorfinn parallels and interactions I immediately latched onto were anime originals. I've been played like a fiddle. I'm having "Hunter x Hunter 1999 is 1/3 fillers" flashbacks •_•

But I'm really looking forward to seeing whether Thorfinn will join the hall of faves through the power of character development! I know of stuff already because I don't mind spoilers, but I don't know how said stuff will happen, so 👀

Chapter 55

Nothing to say yet other than I've read that lots and lots of people love this Einar guy, so I have VERY high expectations

????? *checks notes* no, I can't say that sudden nipple teasing and dick grabbing were in my "things I expected to see" list

Leif!!! I assume Einar will remember Thorfinn's name for having heard it from him?

Called it >:) era telefonata a livelli clamorosi ma I called it >:)

Chapter 56

Seeing Thorfinn be so mellow is making my heart go 💔 poor boy. My poor boy. I really look forward to knowing what went down after Askeladd's death and how he got where he is now

Chapter 57

Thorfinn my boy my heart aches for you but also I love how Einar keeps trying to make him talk and even straight up dumps his whole past on him while he's just there completely unresponsive 😭

Chapter 65

He smiled🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 *gently holds*

"Were you trying to sneak into bed with me or something?" ajskdckoghk this guy

I really like the tough love thing Snake and the old man have going on 🥺 hi surrogate son, hi surrogate father

Chapter 66

THE FUCKING "LET'S PRAY" SCENE FROM BORIS?????????

IT REALLY IS THE SAME SCENE I'M SCREAMING

Chapter 68

I'm on the floor kicking and screaming🥺😭😭

Chapter 76

Leif just adopting a random Thorfinn thinking that it was his Thorfinn... I'm wjdjfkfkfgkgk

[4lph4kidz]

oh yeah you’re new here huh. anyway i’m flattered that you ask but i absolutely will not be able to provide you a concise or coherent reply here. i have too many thoughts. and i can’t be objective about this character, despite Wanting to be analytical. i’m emotionally invested in a way that surely clouds my judgement. anyway. rambling under the cut.

look. there are just so many things that drive me completely fucking nuts about dirk specifically - his thematic substance and narrative role / utilisation, the way his portrayal reflects HS’s ideas about masculinity and toxic masculinity and sexuality (wowww dirk is just so masculine and rational and doesnt use labels, not like the other silly effeminite and emotional gays), the way he embodies the relationship between creator and creation.. the meta stuff, the philosophical stuff, postmodernist themes, the weighty existentialism, the moral quandaries, the ocean imagery, the isolation... there’s whole a lot for me to dig into, analytically speaking, a whole range of ideas i personally find compelling all packaged up in one extremely fucking weird boy. a boy who i like on the surface/story level, also. i think his brand of dry humour is funny, he’s a fun combo of rose and dave’s personalities, and i like his rapport with his friends, despite their conflicts and communication problems - he has some genuinely  sweet moments. he’s pretty badass, which is cool. he’s also kind of incredibly fucking tragic. assigned self destructive @ skaia. i can’t read him as anything but tragic, same as any of the alphas, which is why i love them. they’re all fatally flawed, but i feel for them, and would like them to overcome those flaws.

i was going to get into the ways the character is flawed / morally gray / a problematic fave but i really ran out of steam and don’t feel like trying to recreate the d*rkscourse that happens in my brain on a weekly basis. just know i think the ways he is flawed and the question of responsibility wrt his splinters and the harm they cause is also absolutely fascinating, and i’m willing to indulge some critical takes on the character because i like to punish myself for enjoying things i think seeing what this guy is like at his worst is sort of... integral to what i perceive to be the core of the character? the tension between his worse traits / selves and what i see as fundamentally good aspirations...  essentially big-brother-style protectiveness, warped by a less than healthy attitude / shitty ideals wrt to heroism and masculinity, as well as communication issues partially related to a commitment to self-aggrandising and insincere cooldude posturing. i think as a defence mechanism if the breakdown on the roof is anything to go by. i’m not sure if i’m correct in that read, but it’s what made sense to me. i’m going to re-read soon though, maybe this will change?

like... essentially, in homestuck proper - he’s not a villain but he really, really could be. he is, if you want to look at hal that way. the things dirk thinks are heroic (masculine/stoic/powerful/martyrdom) ideals are very much being deconstructed by homestuck as a work, that’s more what dave’s arc is about but it goes for dirk too. those ideas, especially as handled by “villainboy diva” prince dirk, are in some ways flawed and harmful and could be putting him into villain territory if he takes them too far... idk. the tension between dirk’s multiple selves embodying his worse qualities, vs his own genuine desire to do good, do better, despite what he comes to perceive as his own totally innate and inescapable flaws... ugh, maybe i’m just also a self absorbed and mentally ill piece of shit, but jesus christ that is fascinating to me? like... it’s really hard for me to not connect some of my own personal feelings and struggles to that conflict, even if the circumstances are Obviously not even remotely similar and i don’t want to project :/ (i totally do though)

well. that was a lot of words. have fun trying to make sense of this, i guess

[bourbon-ontherocks]

I was tagged many moons ago by @septiembrre  @00gangfriend00 and @lemoncupcake to share my favourite line from EACH ONE of my fic, which is the most sadistic tagging game that I have ever seen: not only does it take forever to complete, but also while it was extremely pleasant to rediscover old fics that I had completely forgotten about it was rather traumatic to realize that everything I’m writing these days thinking that I’m being original I’ve already written before and forgotten about.

- For Love and War

Oh boy, re-reading that was hella embarrassing, God! And you guys kept reading my stuff after that?? So I had a hard time at picking a fave line because I’m mostly meh about this whole fic and especially its writing style, but I guess this one’s worth an honourable mention?

Think you know someone, he thought, and then outta nowhere she shoots you, and then tells you she wants you to kill her before falling in your arms and calling you by your name with pleading eyes that just make you wanna kiss her.

- For Four seasons in one day

Oh oh oh, I know this one!

Life hadn't put Elizabeth Boland on his path, nah, it was way more than that, it had fiercely thrown her through the glassy walls of his life like some wake-up call wrapped in golden curls and giant baby eyes full of inner darkness.

I just like the imagery here!

- For A Reason To Fight

Ugh, this fic is wayyyyy more OOC than I remembered... But I still love the Rio POV chapter very dearly, and especially this line because it was a turning point in my style and the way I use adjectives in my writing:

It's clumsy but he responds, almost out of an automatism, and it's timid, and soft, the way the tips of their tongues meet.

- For While Your Lips Are Still Red

So this fic is actually a pleasant surprise to re-read even such a long time after, obviously the writing could be better but I didn’t die from embarrassment which is a start, I guess. And obviously my favourite line has to be the one about Rio’s handwriting lol

Above the key, with a handwriting that clearly suggested that the person had theoretically heard about the concept of alphabet but never actually seen one, three words were written.

- For Love of the game

God, you still read my stuff after this one?? You’re the real heros here. Honestly it wasn’t that bad on a re-read, like the plot was honourable and the dialogues were okay, but the writing overall... ugh! So it’s hard to pick a fave because nothing actually sparked a specific light, but I did really enjoy most of Annie’s lines in this so maybe

"Oh come on, get a room! I swear I could get pregnant just from the sparks of your eyefucking!"

- For Nauseous

Mhhh, probably

Pulling the trigger in the middle of a kiss definitely sounded like him. Although it had to be kind of messy, right? Probably a lot of pieces of brain and skull to clean off your face afterwards

Because practical yet mildly inappropriate Beth is one of my favourite!

- For He’s not dumb

Not much to see here, but yeah, this one made me raise a brow

The instant is deafening because the sound isn't.

- For Moose hunting

"It lacks small graduations,"

Obviously

- For Something you love

[About Dean’s “you don’t kill something you love”:]

At the end of the day, the accuracy of Dean's epiphany was somehow upsetting.

I just think it’s a funny way to put it haha! Also this fic is actually funnier and less bland than I remembered lol!

- For Your husband won’t like it

Side note: this fic is absolutely hilarious, I should re-read myself more often lol

She mentally scans the sexual list she sent to Mick last night, trying to remember if there was anything in there suggesting that she was even remotely open to the idea of a threesome with him and his boss.

Because I think it’s funny

- For Don’t steal from me

Oh there are a lot of pretty ones in this, but I guess it’s still

The second seemed to stretch into an hour, two people losing their balance at the edge of a cliff and faltering for the excruciating eternity of an instant before falling into the void, swallowed by the ocean.

because I love the imagery so much! Also honorable mention to this foreshadowing of my Dean x Rio x wardrobe shenanigans crush though:

[Dean] developed a strange obsession for counting and recounting his clothes, convinced that Rio wouldn't have passed on an occasion to steal one of his suits

- For It’s all coming back to me now

NONE!!!! This fic is my personal nightmare and I just hate everything about it. Ask again when I’ve finally finished it...

That being said, after a quick scan of the scenes that I know I like, there’s this, which I think was kind of a turning point in my writing style

"Elizabeth." A statement, dipped in light sarcasm.

- For We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

Okay I already knew the answer to this one

The bubble they're living in is as thin and fragile as the wings of the butterflies in her stomach, and she knows it will tear up as soon as she'll step back in the outside world

- For Take a dip

I hadn’t reread this fic in literal ages and turns out it’s way better than I remembered! There are so many cool things that I love about it and had  completely forgotten about oh my gosh!! Picking a fave line was HARD. But maybe

If she was meant to burn her wings, it would be against his flame

But really, there’s competition here

- For Envelopes comin’ in the mail

Obviously my favourite pun ever

He could get high on that sheet.

- For Please don’t remember me for my crimes

Honestly I just love this fic so freaking much I can’t tell, there are so many!!! The level of meta and the humour in this fic made me squeak every two sentence on a re-read... Mick x ghosts! All the easter eggs I planted there and forgot about and just re-discovered! The Stationery Fair!

I really love this one, which marks the beginning of the tense switch and the Encounter:

Something woke him up, a metaphorical clap of thunder

And also the ending which includes one of my favourite imagery - arbored and flowery cemeteries with old graves

But maybe it's just the wind, whispering through the apple trees, and carrying with it the perfume of blooming flowers.

Also honorable mention to this line from @missmaxime comment on that fic which is close to actually be my fave line

Omg Rio, what else is an appropriate reaction when someone switches from 'So, dying hurt or what?' to, 'Excuse me, do you have a vagina?'

- For It Hurts When I See You Struggle

My babbyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! I love literally everything from it, I’m just such a proud mama bear about this one!! Now if I have to control myself, I’d say this one for sure:

Anger and hatred spill out of him, soak the sheets, leak down on the carpet, drip along the walls, pour over her head a shower of contempt and dissolve her like acid.

I just love the metaphor and the imagery! And also this one, because *metaphor* and also I just lovvvvvve it

It's as if every part of his body spoke a different language. But eventually these all weave in to create a tapestry of anger and desire, hate and affection, that she's not sure she's ever seen so clearly.

- For Pour me a drink and I’ll tell you some lies

I actually can’t believe that I wrote that, every sentence made me snort so hard!! I forgot about the pompousness AND the innuendos I put in there, and also Fed Up Mick packing the glass away... Man, what happened to me? Why can’t I write stuff like that anymore? God, me x writing were in a really good place last fall

So basically my fave line was all of it. But perhaps this?

Poor babbling ignoramus, so unaware of their divine essence, the millenary dignity of their heritage, too busy as they were wondering with excitement and — should he say it? — horniness about how sparkling drinks feel when they spill inside of you.

Oh wait no, I remember, this is my fave line

But the point is, the other occupants of the sinister cave talk, although he doesn't trust this chatty flute who claims that she's been the witness of Her sparkling glee, or the garbled tales of this garishly daubed mug — ceramics' memory is as porous as their clayey structure and he most certainly won't listen to this chaotic oddball's mish-mash.

- For When I got nothing but my aching soul

I honestly don’t have the energy to re-read the entirety of this fic right now, but I know that I raved in @00gangfriend00 DMs about this line even before it was even written in (and she called it a mic drop), so it must be in the top 3 anyway

Because here's the thing with broken hearts. They never stop beating.

- For I hear her scream (and I feel nothing)

I want to say all of them because I love this fic so much, but if I really need to pick faves, I’d say that it’s a tie between

It's the notion of an answer, rather than its content, that fuels his expectancy.

and

The thought of any Jimmy 2.0 getting off on the live broadcast of her little moans ricocheting against his ear to hit the mike somewhere is enough to give him the hard-on of the century.

I just love the imagery and implications of both!

Oh and also

Gratuitous honesty's never been Elizabeth's forte.

I just love this one too

- For Fifty Percent

Maybe eventually they'll find in each other their missing peace.

I just love word plays. Also this was literally a last-minute addition right before I clicked on ‘post’ and I love when inspiration strikes like that. Also I really like this one which was my initial pick:

But now? The butterflies ballet is nothing but phantomatic.

Tagging absolutely no-one because I wouldn’t wish my sworn enemy to go through this but also if you’re reading this and want to play just consider yourself tagged by me <3

[hidingoutbackstage]

infodump to be about resident evil handsome <3

Ohhhh my gosh where to start.

Honestly I'm just gonna talk about my favorite characters and why I like them, and also the problems I have with them

It'll be under the cut, for those who don't care lol

Gonna start with Rebecca because she's the fave that I have the most issues with. I really like her character, she's smart, she's strong, she's a good fighter, and she's witty, and for all of those reasons she's fun to watch and play as. My issues with her are that Capcom has absolutely no clue what to do with her. She's a side character in the first game that doesn't get to do much except get told to stay out of the way, in her own game, RE0, she's literally the main character but ends up feeling like a supporting character for Billy's arc, and holy fuck is she nerfed in Vendetta. She has that scene at the school making the antidote in the lab, and has a good scene where she fights off some zombies before hiding and getting rescued. She tells Chris what she knows and they go find Leon before she gets kidnapped and gets to do absolutely nothing else for the rest of the film. She's a damsel in distress, is almost forced to marry the villain because she looks like his fridged wife, and is infected with the virus and rendered immobile until Chris and Leon rescue her. Like that entire scene she's just sitting on the table writhing and moaning makes me so uncomfortable. Capcom made a great character, they just didn't know what to do with her (and apparently STILL DON'T considering she's not even in Welcome to Raccoon City) Also, can she not be older? It's impressive that she graduated from college at 18, it shows her incredible intellect, but that doesn't mean she has to be 18 in the first game, does it? Can she not be more adult-like? Idk

Next is Claire. Claire is great! Claire I have less issues with, considering the franchise has been nicer to her character recently. Obviously the peak of her character was in the RE2 remake, but she had other great moments too, I liked her a lot in the darkside chronicles, but also like Rebecca, it seems like the game doesn't always know how to use her character, or end up sidlining her for the male characters. Example, Code Veronica, she's fine, but she's way too broken up about Steve imo (maybe I just hate him) and once she's reunited with Chris she's kind of a player 2 to him. And in Revelations 2 she's kind of just a catalyst for change in Moira. And holy fuck don't get me started on how nerfed she was in Infinite Darkness. She is TOTALLY the B story to Leon's A story and even has her damsel in distress moment with the acid. I liked the ending of ID and I liked the story but I just wish there'd been more Claire.

Leon is fine, I love his character arc from RE2 to Vendetta and all the bits in between, I just think because he's so popular it gets exhausting lmao like Capcom knows how popular he is so they milk it for all it's worth and with there being so many fans there's obviously going to be a lot that I don't like/don't agree with. That's probably splitting hairs though, I do think he's the best-written and best handled RE character Capcom has by far

Jill Valentine my sweet summer child you deserve so much better. She's never been overly sexualized (if you don't count whatever the fuck was going on in RE5) which like. The bar is on the floor but something about Capcom's treatment of her character always kind of rubbed me the wrong way. The character herself is fantastic, do NOT get me wrong, I just wish Capcom had done things differently like not make her version of the RE1 playthrough "easy" mode or not incapacitated her for days in RE3 making her totally useless (not that I don't mind playing as Carlos, mind you) her popularity is well earned, I wish there was less fanart that sexualized her but whatever, and I love her friendship with Chris, definitely one of my top 3 platonic RE relationships.

Chris needs to stop being in so much RE content or I'm gonna go insane. There rlly was no reason to include him in RE7 other than to connect it more to the other games, but his "not a hero" dlc is pretty alright. Obviously his inclusion in 7 led to his role in 8 and oh my g-d I cannot forgive that ridiculous plot point of not telling Ethan about Miranda impersonating his wife. It's so dumb. His rivalry with Wesker never felt earned, but it was always entertaining to see. His rivalry with Arias was fucking stupid and completely unearned (I know they only had one movie to make it happen but still. I love that movie and hate it all at once) Also RE5 is unforgivable except for giving us Sheva so y'know Chris is a mixed bag for me.

Ada is a great character that gets treated like absolute shit. I love morally grey characters, and Ada is a great example of one, and the fandom almost always ruins her somehow, or Capcom finds ways to use her that I typically just personally don't like (like honestly that Ada clone shit in RE6 is ridiculous and totally unnecessary) She's done fantastically in RE2 remake which I love, and I'm honestly glad Capcom somewhat knew to pull the reigns when it came to the idea to have her in RE8 that was ultimately scrapped (it would've made no sense, it was ridiculous, I would not have liked it) so Ada is also another mixed bag for me. I also wish she had more of a connection to this stuff than (for the most part) Leon. Her mission doesn't always involve him, but she's only ever really there when he is, and it irks me.

Ethan Winters sucks and I don't like him and don't care about him and the whole RE7&8 fandom is wrong for liking them and yes that includes my boyfriend

Sorry about that. He's a fine character, he's a protagonist you wanna root for, especially in 8, but man do he and his story get on my nerves.

Alcina was just fanservice and gamerbait and for that reason I can't bring myself to like her, sorry guys. Same goes for Heisenberg even though he was less fanservice-y and a little more interesting than Alcina

Yeah that's all I got, if you read through all this, I am kissing you on the mouth

[human-person234]

UPDATE UPDATE UP DATE U P D A A A T E

I'm sobbing with relief, you guys. I've been so stuck on this. I can't believe it took me two months to update. Things were getting better, over the last week or so I managed to write a few sentences here and there, but today it just clicked and I banged out the whole chapter like nobody's business. It feels so good. I don't have the next one written, but I have it outlined, and I have a tentative outline for the rest of the fic--not that we're too near the end, yet. It's just a good sign.

I have some thoughts about the chapter, the fic, and its effect on my mental health, but I have a feeling this will get long so I'm going to put a break. Click if you want to read my rambling about all that, I guess.

Writing this fic ended up being a bigger part of my personal mental health journey than I anticipated, so it's natural that they'd be intertwined. I only wrote it because I was so obsessed with the Suicidal Midoriya Izuku tag I ran out of fics to read and had to make my own. Not exactly "mentally stable" behavior.

If you read Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, esp my notes and comments, you know that suicidal ideation is a very real issue for me, both in my past and (surprisingly, like for the Izuku of that story) my present.

I'm not opposed to talking about it, so if anyone wants to chat about that kind of stuff, my DMs and asks are open, seriously, I love talking about mental health and any excuse to talk about myself is welcome. But I won't get into it too much here.

Basically, I was depressed, and dealing with some other physical health issues (TURNS OUT I'VE BEEN BREATHING MOLD FOR MONTHS NO WONDER I'M EXTRA LETHARGIC), and when I started to fall behind on updates, that only exacerbated my anxiety and guilt and, thus, depression.

Something else that came up for me was that I don't totally feel qualified to write about suicide recovery, because I never experienced it in the way I'm writing it.

I basically dumped this on Izuku in Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, but essentially, I do have experience with being suicidal, just not the "getting help" part. I do see a psychiatrist for my disorders, but no one ever found out about the suicidal part.

So, like Hizashi and Shouta say in Chapter 13, "Who do I think I am? Why do I think I could take care of a child?" I have no idea what guided recovery looks like, because I did it alone. I kept thinking, what if I'm doing it wrong, what if I'm missing something important, what if people who really had these experiences think I'm taking it lightly?

So that's part of the source for my end note for this chapter--I realized that as long as I'm doing my due diligence, I don't have to feel guilty about getting it wrong, because real people get it wrong too. Also, it's fanfiction, I'm allowed some wiggle room. I've read and loved and recommended fics with far looser basis in reality, and never considered complaining. I'm just a harsher critic of myself than I am of others, as are most people.

On a more technical note, I also struggled with pacing the story. I kept feeling like I was stuck in a real-time pace, and I couldn't figure out how to stop describing literally every action my characters took. How hard is it to zoom out and do a fucking timeskip, for goodness' sake?

For me--very hard, it turns out.

So I kind of gave up, gave myself permission to stop trying. I even stopped reading MHA fics for a little while (no way I could stop reading fics, though). I went back to one of my all-time fave fics, from what might be my favorite anime--Run With the Wind. The fic is Beyond the Wind by kstar2091.

Honestly, I thought my first fic would be in this fandom. I figured it would be a poor homage to this fic, a continuation of canon events finally giving us the romance that had been simmering all 23 episodes. My pfp is best boy Kiyose Haiji for a reason.

Uh oh, that was a bit of a tangent.

My point is, re-reading my fave fic (with delicious new chapters) inspired me, bc kstar is legit VERY GOOD at exactly what I was struggling with--passing a lot of in-story time without sacrificing content or intensity.

So, the little interlude in Izu's POV covering a week or so in the chapter I just posted--that's thanks to kstar2091, Beyond the Wind, and ofc my best boy Haiji. Once I got through that bit, it all started flowing like chocolate sauce at a Golden Corral.

There's a lot of juicy bits upcoming, some of which people have been eagerly awaiting. One of them is obvious. Others, you might hate me for?? But also I hope you'll love them, because you're all screwed up like me.

So yeah, I'm not promising weekly updates anymore, but the juices are flowing, the sun is shining, the mold is blooming in my bedroom, and I'm slowly getting back on my mood stabilizers.

If anyone wants to talk about mental health, or ask me anything personal, feel free, you won't offend or upset me. Or, don't say anything, and just keep reading! Or stop reading, idk, it's your life.

[katierosefun]

well, here we are! june basically flew by and it was a little rough, but we’re back with some long recs on cool things i’ve read/listened to/watched, and i’m about to force everyone to sit down and listen to my sleepover-esque ted talk in which i give unwarranted and unasked for rec lists. so here we go!

kdrama:

while you were sleeping

okay, so i tried to watch this kdrama when it came out in like...2017, i think? but for some reason, i wasn’t able to get past the first episode. i don’t really know why? because it’s so beautifully shot, and i super love the premise, which is basically this girl and this guy are somehow able to see things that are going to happen in the future...but only in their dreams. this whole kdrama really handled the plot super well--each episode honestly felt like a movie in itself, and the filming was just stunning, and i think this has to be one of the most visual kdramas i’ve ever seen. each character is also super interesting and complex on their own, and i really loved seeing such a strong cast of characters interact with each other in this world. 

i think the only slight downside of this kdrama was that i couldn’t really get invested in the romance? i’m not quite sure why--i found both lead actors’ performances wonderful, and don’t get me wrong, i did think they were cute together as the drama went on, but i still couldn’t find myself buying into the romance until maybe relatively late in the drama (like...ep 11 or so? ep 16 was honestly when i realized that awww, wait, they’re actually super cute). but then again, i feel like the writers weren’t really prioritizing the romance either--i think they really wanted us to think about the beauty of dreams and redemption and how everyone can touch another person’s life in some significant way, so i can’t really be mad about it!

but anyways, overall i really enjoyed this kdrama and watched it all a lot faster than i thought i would! SOLID music, beautiful cinematography, good acting, mostly good writing, and some really memorable characters! def. a must-watch if you love suspense, aesthetics, and some wonderful characters.

the ghost detective

i’m someone who doesn’t like horror or scary things at all, but i was so intrigued by the plot and whatever material i saw on tumblr, and...of course, choi daniel, lee joo young, lee ji ah, and park eun bin. honestly, this is just a really wonderful and really underrated cast, and they really all brought out their a-game for this 32-episode supernatural / thriller / horror drama. basically, this kdrama follows the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out who murdered her younger sister...and of course, there’s something supernatural going on. 

honestly, this kdrama was such a ride. i loved the crime-solving aspect of it, and i was really in love with the interactions between all the characters, esp. that of eun bin and daniel’s characters. (guys...they’re so ride and die for each other. there’s also so much yearning. so much yearning in this kdrama, it just about killed me--) 

the villain was absolutely, appropriately, elegantly creepy, and like...scary beyond belief. basically, the villain (lee ji ah’s character) feeds her victims these harmful thoughts and ultimately get them to kill themselves. it’s sad and haunting, especially when you see that the victims tell their victims “don’t listen to the bad things. try only to listen to the good things”. and...yeah. themes of how to handle all of these bad feelings inside of you really came through in this kdrama, and there were a lot of themes of suicide and the kind of rage and sadness that comes with that. (also! if you’re a fan of lots of angsty/whumpy situations....this kdrama definitely does not hold back with all of your fave whump/angst tropes! literally! every! episode! i! had! to! lie! down! because! too! powerful!)

school 2013 

(aww, look at this precious cast…as though they didn’t all make me ugly cry at least five times—)

yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ve talked about this kdrama ad nauseum, and i know i watched it last month, but as i was studying for the lsat, i really, really, really needed some comfort. most notably comfort re: studying life, academics, how difficult it is to study but also be uncertain of your dreams…and if you are certain of your dreams, how that sometimes requires studying but that just makes life all the more overwhelming…can you tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot

i’m not going to ramble more about this kdrama considering i already have done so multiple times, but i enjoyed this rewatch and honestly,,,my love for this show has just grown even more. there’s a good reason why people consider this a comfort kdrama, because. i consider myself deeply comforted. also, i’ve been listening to the ost for the whole month. it’s become a problem. but sometimes. sometimes you need to listen to songs that feel like someone’s patting you on the head and telling you don’t give up, set down your burdens, don’t think you’re alone and dream whatever you want to dream, go wherever you want to go. i’ll stop talking now, but god. when i say that i think everyone who has ever felt incredibly tired by work or school and just wished for someone to give them a big hug either then or now...god. this is just one of those kdramas that i think honestly touched so many people’s lives, and i’m very grateful for the cast and crew and writers for ever bringing this story to life. :’) (god, okay, now i’ll stop talking before i make myself cry i’m fine this is fine)

your honor

so, i watched this kdrama thinking that it would be light and funny given that yoon shi yoon is the main male lead, but boy was i wrong--don’t be fooled by these happy little faces, this kdrama is heavy. this kdrama is about a young man (with a criminal record) who winds up impersonating his twin brother, who happens to be a judge. we also have a trainee who, after seeing the legal system fail her older sister, is on the rise to dispense justice through the courts the best she can.

honestly, the first few episodes were rough, mostly because of the content. big trigger warning for rape, violence, and sexual harassment at work. this kdrama really didn’t hold back when it came to addressing how the very people who use the law can also be the very same people who manipulate and abuse it. because of that, i found this kdrama incredibly powerful. that said, it certainly had its lighthearted moments too. 

overall though, i liked this kdrama. the main characters were incredibly complex and genuinely the type to make me believe that for all the injustices in the world, there are still and always will be people fighting for the right thing. as someone who wants to enter the legal field, this kdrama was just uplifting. i was so blown away by the absolute rawness of the main two leads, esp. yoon shi yoon, who i’ve only ever seen in super lighthearted kdramas. so this was a really interesting change of pace, and i genuinely enjoyed watching this!

waiting for love

so this kdrama is just two episodes, and what’s better is that it’s available on youtube! it’s about two college students--a young woman who’s been hurt by falling in love with jerks now just wants to date, not really fall in love...and a young man who’s excellent at giving dating advice except he’s afraid that he’s never going to actually fall in love, so he just dates a girl for the sake of dating.

now, i kinda thought that this show was going to be kinda lighthearted, a little shallow--but it was weirdly...comforting? idk, i found myself liking it a lot more than i thought it would be. this is far from the perfect kdrama, and i kinda wished that we got more than 2 episodes because i think some of the plot points could have been better expanded, but...there were genuinely a lot of scenes that made me think a bit more about what it actually means to be in a loving relationship--like how it’s not enough to just put on a happy smile and eat meals together, but like...you know. there has to be trust and actual liking and also, yeah, maybe a bit of frustration in order to actually know whether a relationship is real or not. and given that the characters were all discussing the pressure on getting married and romance esp. when you’re in your twenties...idk. makes you think about are you dating someone for the sake of appearances? or do you genuinely...like them?

there was also quite a few tropes that i personally adore in this kdrama, which helped balance out the stuff i found more tiring. there was a lot of the “right person, wrong time” stuff going on (you really want the two main leads to get together after a certain point, and you just keep holding your breath whenever they walk past each other and beg please please please let it be this time...), and also that good old “two strangers fall in love with each other purely over writing to each other” (god. first the half of it, then me & au, then greenhouse podcast...something about this trope huh). that said, there were def. some parts that made me “:////” because some of the characters were kind of frustrating, but i’m gonna chalk that up to good writing since i think i was mostly mad about how i knew people like some of the characters lol. overall, i think this might be at least semi-enjoyable--it’s probably not something i’ll watch again, but it def. made me mull over what it means to actually be in a loving relationship, esp. if you’re in your twenties and everyone around you seems to be in happy romantic relationships/getting engaged and whatnot. 

movie: 

columbus 

i’m a firm believer that there are some movies that are meant to cheer you up, some movies meant to make you cry, and then there’s some movies that are just meant to...sit with you. and this movie is definitely one of them. this story follows casey, a high school graduate, and jin, the son of a famous architect. the two of them are both so incredibly exhausted with their lives (casey with her constant worry about her mother, who’s a recovering drug addict; jin with his surface-level lack of concern for his comatose father). in their small town of columbus, indiana, the two of them bond over architecture and just. being quietly there for each other.

this movie’s been compared a few times to lost in translation in the sense that there’s this not quite romance between the two leads, who have a bit of an age gap (john cho and haley lu richardson have about 20 between them!). to be honest, i didn’t really get the sense that there was supposed to be a romance. if anything, it just felt like...two really lonely people finding each other. definitely not a simple friendship--definitely not a familial kind of relationship, definitely intimate. 

idk. i think this movie might not be for everyone--i definitely agree with a lot of past reviewers that this movie is on the slower side. there’s some stuff here about complicated relationships with parents, a lot of cool architecture, really beautiful shots...and overall, it’s just...quiet. it’s lovely, and i can’t really stop thinking about it. it’s subtle, bittersweet, and oddly compelling. might not be the kind of thing you’d want to watch in the middle of the day, but if you’re a little sad and in the mood for something not to necessarily lift your spirits but...at least acknowledge them and sit with you, then...this is the movie to watch. idk. i felt kind of crummy the day i watched this movie, and i felt as though someone just sat next to me on a park bench until the sun went down. (mayhaps specific but hush, i’m writing this right after finishing this movie, so i’m...feeling a certain way.)

wish dragon 

i watched this movie right after watching columbus because a) decided i was in the mood for something lighter, and b) i learned that john cho?? voiced?? the dragon?? (caroline your crush on john cho’s jumping out this month...) 

but anyways! i loved this movie a lot. it was so satisfying? like, just narratively speaking? and the animation was wonderful and also weirdly smooth and satisfying, and there were a lot of funny and touching moments. this movie’s about this young man named din who stumbles upon a magical teapot that holds the wish dragon long--long has to grant din three wishes, and yes, i know, very aladdin, but that said, this movie has so many original twists that it feels weird to call it an aladdin retelling. it really did feel like a movie completely on its own, which i applaud the writer and director for! 

i don’t want to spoil too much of this movie, but something i really enjoyed was that din’s main wish is just to see his old childhood friend again. idk, i think we all have that one friend from when we were really little that we miss--and this movie really dug into that, as well as themes about parents wanting to do the best they can to provide for their kids, and!!! and long the dragon gets his own storyline and amazing character development too!!! i was honestly just amazed at how this movie fleshed out the characters so well and had so many wonderful themes that just made me tear up. guys. this movie’s great. highly recommend for its wonderful characters and the power of friendship. just a grand old time in general. :’))

searching 

yeah...yeah, i wasn’t kidding about my crush on john cho this month. yes, i watched three of his movies within 24 hours. this movie is about david kim who’s looking for his missing 16 year old daughter, margot. this film is honestly noteworthy for many reasons, one of them being that the entire movie is told through like...a laptop screen, as in we kind of follow david’s frantic search through facetime, facebook, tumblr...which i honestly didn’t think i’d be into, but whoo boy, i was wrong. it just added to the whole addictive quality of this movie, as it usually does when it comes to anything from the thriller genre. 

but besides this just being a straight up addictive thriller with absolutely mouth-dropping twists (but like...good twists, and smart twists, good god--), this movie was just...touching? there’s so many themes related to what grief does to a family (because we learn within the first 10 minutes that the mom died due to cancer), and there’s just...something really fragile about relationships between surviving family members. i was absolutely blown away by john cho’s performance as a tentative and grieving widower whose world just absolutely falls apart in his search for his daughter. this movie was just so...real because of that. like, yes, this movie has all of the suspense that you would expect this kind of movie to have, but there was also just...so many beautiful themes about grief and how far parents would go for their kids and godddd yeah no i started sobbing when the movie ended. god. 

also, my bias towards john cho aside, i...really loved his character. david kim is absolutely believable, and like? he’s not just the guy putting the pieces together--he’s also the guy who misses his wife and also the guy who wishes that he was there for his daughter. he’s also the guy who pauses and re-writes all his text messages because he’s trying to be a good dad. i feel like with a lot of these suspense / missing person movies, it’s really easy to have characters who are just the stoic alpha male types--and david kim definitely had his badass moments in this movie, but like...something i just loved was seeing the vulnerability that comes with...having a missing child. being a parent. god. this movie messed me up but in a good way. i can honestly say that this movie is now probably going to be one of my fave movies of all time. highly recommend, am literally obsessed with it.

book:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

ohohoho………where to begin with this book. this was one of those books where i was like “huh i kinda don’t understand why people are so obsessed with this book”, but then i hit like...page 20 or 30 and was like “oh god i Literally Cannot Put This Book Down Oh No” and wound up finishing it in like three days (mind you, i only read at like...midnight these days. i don’t understand why either). 

i finished this book at like 2 am and promptly burst into tears because this was just one of those books. it follows the story of evelyn hugo, a famous hollywood actress from the 60s or so and onwards. known for her intense beauty and her seven husbands, she’s now giving an exclusive interview to the young reporter monique grant, where she’s about to tell all about her life. this book had me dropping my mouth multiple times, and i think tjr can spin one hell of a story, with so many good twists and turns and intensely memorable characters. by the end of the book, i was actually mad that evelyn hugo wasn’t a real person, because i, too, fell a little in love with her and thought, i want to actually watch her movies. i want to learn even more about this remarkable woman. 

but alas! she’s not real, so i don’t get to see her accept an oscar or look up all the tabloids about her and her seven husbands or her speculated (and very, very, very real) relationship with celia st. john. basically...i just loved this book. the last line made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit (actually...cry a lot), and y’know...i’ll admit it’s not totally perfect, but i’m glad this book exists, and i’m glad that even though tjr isn’t bi herself, was very adamant in this book about bisexuality being real. just. like. god. once again. mad that evelyn hugo isn’t real. it’s fine, she’s real in my heart.

[janiedean]

i feel lucky that i entered the fandom in 2014 post s4 lol. i read the books first then joined tumblr as i was watching the show and ofc book 3 and 4 i IMMEDIATELY latched on to jb because of all the feels (i dreamed of you????????? golden bitchslap???????? brienne remembering jaime looked like a god even when he was half dead lmao????????? jaime's thoughts going to brienne "unbidden"??????? hahaha AND ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS aka my kryptonite along with a bunch of other tropes??????) BUT i honestly thought i was alone in this because the few friends i had who were reading the books didn't care that much about jb, they didn't hate it but they didn't STAN it like i did. and a lot of the most popular asoiaf/got blogs i got as recs when i joined tumblr weren't hugely into JB either. :(

BUT on ao3 there were quite a lot of JB fics and i devoured as many as i could lol and then followed these people on tumblr etc it was like "I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE" hehe. the thing is a lot of the bnf people would have the same takes on a lot of characters and i agreed with some of it, but a lot i didn't and the way these guys read jaime and cersei is one thing. (a lot also about why is cersei evil while tyrion and jaime are the "good guys" and meta about how all 3 are equally bad and im just :| *thor meme about is it though??*)

as someone who actually first fell in love with jaime's character and then jb as a ship and he's if not #1 fave then at least #2 fave from asoiaf watching the bigger jb blogs counter with jaime meta was hugely satisfying haha.

I mean you probably dodged a few bullets joining at that point X°D but yeah I mean nvm that I 100% agree with you, you're... dead-on re the major opinions re jaime and tyrion vs c. but again that's because all of the groundwork for those takes happened before S2 and it was mostly because of the same few people having a lot of traction and dictating the narrative except for some exceptions *shrug again* that said I was ride or die for jaime in book one anyway and he was in my top three until theon's adwd chapters happened and he had to cede but like... I was def into both j and b as separate characters way before they met but j was in my top three from the get go and when I showed up after my month of binging I was like 'wait what are these takes why' but again I never interacted directly with any of them and I have zero interest in doing so now I'm just waiting for george to just-dessert everything esp re all of them being equally bad (which they aren't X°D) also anon your jb enlightenment and mine were just about the same dkllkjgs but that said: the above is 90% of the reason why in this fandom if you want to read stuff re jb you have to go where the shippers are and not in the general area bc there's like maybe two major ppl I can think of who actually are into it :(

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.

to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….

when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.

like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????

and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.

and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.

this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).

but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.

this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.

this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.

i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.

hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.

i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.

just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.

because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.

please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey steph! how long would you say you spent on sorting out fic recs and tagging them and all that stuff? just curious because i really wanna start a fic rec blog too

Hey Nonny!

UGGGHHHH Tumblr deleted my entire response, so I’m going to just jot out what I remember.

Depending upon how long you’re willing to spend, a LONG time. You guys have NO idea how much work it is, and how much off-tumblr time I spend doing it. When I keep saying “it’s a full time job” it really is. The blogging you guys actually see takes about 2 hours, from filing my blog to answering a few asks here and there, but the rest is ALL filing my fics and creating lists. 

Now, mine is “perfected to my liking” after two years of trial and error and headaches, but yeah, if you’re serious about becoming strictly a fic rec blog, prepare to put in a lot of time and effort. BUT to be fair, I’m ridiculous in my sorting and organizing... I have a weird OCD thing where I need stuff sorted in a certain way, and it takes longer than it probably should. But it works for me and it has become very streamlined now that almost all of my Ao3 bookmarks are finally sorted. In the beginning, when I decided I would start reccing fics, it was only meant to be a here and there thing, but then people kept coming to me more and more and that’s when I decided I needed to keep an offline list. So here’s some tips from me to you:

Keep offline lists. Tumblr fucks up enough that you WILL lose interest in redoing a big 50-fic list if tumblr decides that nope, today I don’t feel like posting your file because you didn’t refresh your page BEFORE typing it out.

Going along with the above, keep an offline masterlist of your read-and-tagged fics. All the recs I give you guys? They’re all on one of three list masterlists I have offline: GO Recs, FFNet Recs, and Ao3 Recs. This will be SO much easier for searching for topics when making new lists.

Do the lists WAY ahead of time. This has given me back many-a-Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday nights because I prep my lists ahead of time.

Develop the “public” system of filing for your things, and use that for your Masterlist, so you don’t have to redo it every time (so like don’t have just Ficname by author if that’s not what you want to do for your recs). For example, my system is this, emphasis included: Fic Name by Author (Rating, wordcount, Chapter count || WIP/AU if applicable || PODFIC LINK if applicable || list of personal and/or author tags here, even if they spoil the story; i’ve found some people with triggers appreciate that I tag EVERYTHING I find in the stories) – Author’s description or personal description if there isn’t one. Series link if it’s part of one. This way, all I have to do is copy-paste it into new documents for each list, and then copy-paste the whole list into the Tumblr doc. 

Also, re: the above, do the layout in Tumblr if you’re doing a Tumblr rec blog. It keeps the formatting consistent and I don’t have to fix it between Ao3 and FFnet if I just copy-paste everything into a blank Tumblr doc, and then copy paste THAT onto the masterlist. Trust me on this one. 

Draft everything. This goes along with all the above. I always “start” a list and put a big header so that I can find it in my drafts (that’s why they have the big bold H1 headers on them) and then hit “draft”. Then keep a list of your drafted fics in your preferred method of organization. I keep everything in Text Edit RTF files. I believe Alexx told me once she did spreadsheets. Either way, develop a system BEFORE jumping into this thing, because you will EASILY get overwhelmed if you aren’t used to high-stress levels.

Tag fics as you read them. Trust me on this one. Because it will save you MONTHS of re-reading every single bookmark so you can properly file fics. I do this on my Notes App with the story title, and then all the tags I know are popular requests or are for lists I know Nonnies have asked for.

Keep CONSISTENT in your tags. Don’t tag one thing O!verse but another Omegaverse. I had to redo a lot of my older tags because CMD+F was pointless on a document I purposely made to streamline the process.

USE Ao3′s TAGGING FEATURE for your bookmarks. Just make sure that if any of your tags are spoilerific, make sure you keep the rec private.

File EVERYTHING as soon as you bookmark it. It will save you a LOT of hours of going through all your recent bookmarks to file them. 

That said, HAVE A FILING SYSTEM if you’re keeping everything offline. Keep separate documents for each list... Trust me on this. I used to just have one document each for Fluff fics, for example, and put subheaders in them, and it just got messy and annoying as my fic reccing became more common and plentiful. Instead, have a nice list like this, for instance:

The grey dots next to some of them are old filing methods that I need to fix and pull out. Also, as you can see, every time I finish a list, I file it into Posted and start a new list appended with a Pt number. It just keeps the system moving smoothly. I also have a system for the coloured dots; Grey is Old and refile, Orange is drafted on Tumblr, and Orange and Green means it’s drafted and ready-to-post.

I also have an offline “drafted posts document”:

That also has a system as you can see, but it keeps me knowing what I’ve already got drafted on Tumblr if I forget to tag the files with the colour dots.

It looks tedious and complicated, but I promise you, it’s really simple once you’re familiar with my method. Which is why I’m saying, you need to develop this kind of system REALLY early rather than 2 years later like I did. This drafted posts list is only recent as of... February I believe is when I started it.

Hmmm. Ah, yeah, so you can see it’s a lot of work, and this is why I absolutely dislike HateAnons negatively criticizing my lists, because it IS a lot of MY free time, between 8 and 48 hours a week. But if you truly enjoy sorting and organizing like I do, it’s a bit easier to cope with. So, yeah, whenever I tell you guys “I need some time away” this is why, and usually I switch to playing video games or doing art, both of which I miss doing on the weekends. I’m trying to keep the Tumblr stuff to mostly Weeknights these days, so that it’s an extension of my day job. Funny how I have less free time working at home than I did when I wasn’t; because I feel obligated to always be on my computer now, and I hate that. Like right now, I just bought 2 new games to play and I haven’t tried them yet because I’m always working both day-job stuff AND Tumblr stuff on weekends. 

So yes, that’s another tip: Don’t let it consume you, and set a schedule. Don’t feel obligated to answer every request. When I am tired and I just genuinely don’t have the energy to dig through 1000+ fics to find 2 or three for an obscure ask, I usually make it an interactive ask – not only does it encourage community involvement and a sense of belonging for everyone, but I also discover new fics to read too! I am IMMENSELY proud and happy that my fic lists have essentially become “fic exchange” grounds. Before it was only on one or two lists, some timid new authors added their fics to my big lists, but now, since people SEE that I add their fics hidden in the notes to the main post, now everyone is happy to share their faves on the main lists AS WELL AS the smaller single asks. I like to think of myself of a “curator of happy things” so that’s what I like to do with these. 

That said, you have to also decide if you’re going to be this interactive as well. Because that adds an ADDITIONAL hour or so as you make a separate “MFL” document and file those too. It’s time consuming, but totally worth it because if I’ve read the fic, all I have to do to that post in my MFL list is add my tags and file that block of text :)

I hope I helped you out a bit, Nonny, and I hope you guys enjoyed seeing a bit of my process. If I can get OBS to work on my laptop, maybe I’ll do a short video so you guys can see me doing it live. 

Anyway, sorry this got long. :P

[duhragonball]

BEGIN: Battle Tendency Liveblog.   JJBA Ch. 45-47

🇺🇸🗽🧗‍♂️🧼🪀🌵Part 2, Hell Yeah!🌪️🎈🛩️🌋🚬

I'm pretty friggin' excited for Part 6 anime, and Part 6 is one of my faves, so one could understandably assume that Part 6 is my favorite.  And I post a lot of other JoJo stuff on this blog, so it's probably not obvious, but Part 2 is the best.   

I got into JoJo in 2017, watching Parts 1-4 in anime version, then reading the scanlations of Parts 5-8 while I waited for the anime to catch up.    Then I re-liveblogged the Part 5 manga because there was finally a proper translation available.   And technically the Part 8 liveblog never ended, since the manga is still ongoing.  

As I developed an appreciation for the manga, I started to feel like I should go back and check out the comic versions of Parts 1 through 4.  Where better to start than my personal favorite?   But I never got around to it, until now.

There's a few things I want to explore with Part 2.    First, I want to go through and work out why exactly I like it so much.   It's kind of tough to articulate, but usually I just say that it's fast-paced and something's always happening.   Part 1 takes a while to get going, and Parts 3-8 rely on the Stand concept, which means that each of them occasionally fall into the trap of becoming formulaic.   Part 2 doesn't have the hassle of introducing all the lore, and it doesn't have the luxury of just doing a gauntlet of Stand Battles to pad out the story.   But I think there's more to it than that.  Battle Tendency has a charm all it's own, and that's what I want to talk about.

Second, now that I've become familiar with Parts 1-7 (and most of 8), I want to go back and see how 2 holds up as part of this mythos.   BT sort of gets overlooked, I think, and that's fair, since it doesn't involve Dio, Stands, or the more outlandish costumes of the later installments.  A lot of fans write off Parts 1 and 2 for being "boring", but at least Phantom Blood carries the prestige of starting it all, and providing the origin of Dio.  Something I think a lot about is whether or not Part 2 "connects" with the later entries in the JoJo series.  It forms a trilogy with 1 and 3, and Part 4 features Joseph's legacy in an important way, but what about the later ones?   Parts 5 through 8 owe a huge debt to Stardust Crusaders for introducing Stands, and to Phantom Blood for introducing JoJo's, but what does Part 2 give them, if anything?   

Third, I'm interested in seeing how BT holds up in isolation.    It's a direct sequel to Part 1, and it ends with a prelude to Part 3, so it's clearly designed to function as part of a larger saga.   But Parts 4 and 5 really don't operate that way, and that got me thinking that maybe Part 2 is more self-contained than I give it credit for.  

But enough about that, let's get this started.

There's two plot threads in these opening chapters.  One reintroduces Robert E. O. Speedwagon, now a 70 year old oil tycoon, and Straizo, who has succeeded the late Tonpetti as the Ripple Master.   Speedwagon has been using his oil fortune to fund a research organization called the Speedwagon Foundation, and it discovered something major during an archaeological expedition: an engraving of the stone mask, the same one Dio used to turn himself into a vampire 50 years earlier.   Note that the mummified corpse lying on the slab with the engraving has vampire fangs.   Whoever this guy is, he didn't just know about the masks, he used one personally.

It might get revealed later in the comics, but I'm pretty sure the anime version had Speedwagon explain that he primary purpose of his foundation was to learn more about phenomena like the Stone Mask, which is probably why they were digging up an Aztec temple in Mexico to begin with.   As I recall, the Stone Mask was discovered in that part of the world, and taken back to Europe, where it eventually came into the possession of the Joestar family.   Speedwagon would know this tale, and so if he wanted to find out more about the mask, he would have known where to start.   Fifty years later, he seems to have hit paydirt.

But the mask engraving isn't why he called Straizo all the way in from Tibet.   Deeper in the temple, there's a weird looking area that looks like something from out of an H.R. Giger painting.   In the center stands this column, or pillar, if you will, and mounted on the pillar is...

...This guy, surrounded by more stone masks.   When I first watched this part of the anime, I though the big reveal here was that there were lots and lots of Stone Masks, which would be a big problem, since Part 1 made a big deal out of destroying the one Stone Mask that started all the trouble.   And maybe the guy in the pillar was the one who invented the things, I thought, but the bigger problem is that he made so many of them.   But no, Speedwagon explains that the "Pillar Man" is not an image carved into the stone, but a living being, in some form of suspended animation.  He even has a pulse.   

So who is this guy and why did he create the Stone Masks?   Speedwagon does not care.   He only wants this Pillar Man destroyed before he wakes up, and that's the sole reason he called in Straizo.   The two of them were the only survivors of the battle with Dio 50 years ago, and Straizo's Hamon power, also known as the Ripple, can destroy vampires that were created by the Stone Mask.    So he's desperately hoping Straizo can finish off the Pillar Man the same way.   But Straizo doesn't seem as concerned about it, and he asks about Joseph Joestar instead.    So I guess I ought to circle back to the other plotline... 

Fifty years after Jonathan Joestar sacrificed himself to defeat Dio Brando, his wife Erina and his grandson Joseph have moved to New York City.   Joseph tries to buy a Coke, but this kid swipes his wallet.   Kind of funny how Joesph's first and last appearances in JJBA are him getting robbed. 

But the kid runs afoul of the local corrupt cops, who bludgeon him with their batons and threaten to put him in jail for 20 years unless he agrees to give them a cut of whatever money he makes from pickpocketing.   When Joseph catches up to this scene, the cop even says he's going to keep Joseph's wallet "as evidence".   I gotta say, not everything from Battle Tendency has aged well, but this police brutality stuff has become incredibly relevant.  This could be 2021, except the cop would have had a gun, and he would have shot Smokey, then Joseph because he mistook the Coke bottle for a rocket launcher.  

Joseph tries to defuse the situation by claiming he gave the wallet to the kid as a gift, but the cop doesn't believe that story, and he wouldn't care even if he did.   He even smears boogers in Joseph's face just to prove that he can say and do whatever he pleases.    Up to this point, Joseph looks and seems a lot like Jonathan.  Later artwork tries to downplay that resemblance, probably just so it's easier to tell them apart.   The anime gave Joseph different color hair, and Hirohiko Araki himself started drawing young Joseph with aviator goggles all the time, even though he doesn't wear them that much in this story.  But starting out, the idea was that Joseph is the spitting image of his grandfather, and it almost looks like this is just an clever way to sneak Jonathan back into the story and transport him forward in time, except....

Coming through, coming through, coming through now  

Coming through, coming through, coming through now

Coming through, coming through, coming through 

Shake it like it's heat, Overdrive!

Yeah, so Joseph can do Hamon/Ripple tricks just like his grandfather, and all the others guys who could use Hamon back in Part 1.   The difference is that when Joseph does it, it looks coooooool.  After breaking Officer Hulk Hogan’s trigger finger, Joseph takes a big swig of soda, because it’s awesome.

To Smokey’s surprise, Joseph did all that badass stuff a second ago, but he’s terrified about his grandmother scolding him for it.  So Joseph wants to run for it, and that suits Smokey, so they rush off together, beginning a long tradition of JoJo’s running from things.   Enemies, consequences, you name it. 

Smokey asks Joseph how he learned how to do that trick with the coke bottle, and he says he has no idea, he’s just always been able to do it.    He knows his grandfather had the same power, but he’s dead, and so are his mother and father.  Curiously, Joseph’s father did not have Hamon powers, so it seems to have skipped a generation. 

And that sets up the other side of the plot.   Speedwagon wants Straizo to destroy the Pillar Man immediately, but Straizo first asks about Joseph.   He had heard some time ago that Joseph had innate Hamon abilities, and he had used them once to rescue Speedwagon from a kidnapping attempt in midair.   A flashback shows us this moment, with guys threatening to ransom and kill Speedwagon, but Joseph is just chilling in the back with a Superman comic. 

Okay, time out.   This panel rules and all, but the Superman comic book didn’t start until 1939, a year after Battle Tendency begins.   Superman was featured in the 1938 magazine Action Comics, but this scene on the plane is a flashback to Joseph from his early teens.   Also, the earliest DC bullet logo didn’t appear until 1940, so what is this?  Some kind of magic, time travelling comic book?    I hope someone got fired for this blunder! 

Anyway, Joseph was content to ignore the hijackers until one of them struck him, and even that wouldn’t have upset him except he got his own blood on his clothes, which Erina bought him, so that sends him into a rage.   Speedwagon was worried that Joseph might clobber the hijackers, but instead he knocks out the pilot, then drags him and Speedwagon out of the plane before it crashes.    The main thrust of that story was that Speedwagon was more worried about what Joseph might do than the hijackers who had already threatened to murder him.   Joseph is slow to anger, but once you piss him off he’s going to go to war, and he doesn’t always think things through.

But he’s never been trained to use his powers like Straizo’s order.  Upon hearing this, Straizo kills his own disciples, and all of the Speedwagon Foundation guys, then knocks Speedwagon himself out.   This will anger Joseph when he hears about it, but Straizo is counting on this.    As he explains, Hamon power can slow his aging process down considerably.   He and Speedwagon are both about 70 here, but he looks much younger.   Even so, he’s feeling his age, and he confesses that he always admired Dio for his immortality and power.   So now that there’s Stone Masks available, he’s decided to use one on himself, become a vampire, and become “a being that surpasses all”.  

And that’s a theme that runs through all of Battle Tendency, along with the rest of the JoJo franchise.  The main villains always seek power to position themselves above the rest of humanity.  At first, it seems kind of random for one of the men who opposed Dio to suddenly switch allegiences like this, but in truth, it’s human nature to be tempted by this kind of power.  Dio succumbed to the lure of the Mask, and now we find that Straizo would have done the same.   He just didn’t have the opportunity until now.

But the reason he’s concerned about Joseph is that he’s thinking this through.  Dio was defeated after all, so Straizo wants to eliminate anyone who could potentially defeat him.  Aside from himself and Speedwagon, the only others who know about the battle with Dio and the Stone Mask are Erina and Joseph.   Once he eliminates them, he’ll be free to do as he pleases.

Back to New York, this is a pretty sweet drawing of a car.    I’m not a car guy, but even I can get behind this.  By now, Smokey has met Erina Joestar, and he finds out some of the backstory from Part 1.    Erina’s husband died at sea, and she was pregnant with their son, Joseph’s father, and had a baby girl whom she rescued from the same incident at sea.   The two children grew up, married, had Joseph, and died, the father in World War I, and the mother of some unspecified illness.  Perhaps out of loneliness, Erina is “unflinchingly kind” even to someone like Smokey Brown, who doesn’t seem to think he’s worthy of her favor.

Anyway, Erina wants to take Smokey out to dinner at this nice Italian restaurant, but this racist mafia guy makes a big stink about a Black person being allowed to eat there.    Joseph gets up to kick his ass, but first he has to check with Erina to make sure it’s okay, and she’s like “Yeah, destroy that guy,” because even though she doesn’t approve of Joseph beating up people, she can’t abide disrespect to her friends.   This leads to the memorable fight scene where Joseph is like eight steps ahead of his opponent.  He goes for his brass knuckles, but can’t find them, and Joseph deduces where they are because of some bloodstains on his shirt.  He even suggests what this guy is about to say next because he’s so predictable.

Then he dodges every blow, moving so quickly that this jerk thinks he was hitting Joseph, when in fact he was punching a hat rack behind Joseph, and somehow he didn’t notice that he impaled his hand on broken wood until Joseph explained it to him.     And honestly, this feels like the prototype for a lot of Stand Battles down the line.  I’ll have more to say on that later.

What puts Battle Tendency over the top is how Joseph not only outwits this big lummox, but the rest of the diners at this restaurant all start applauding him for doing it.    They’re just honored to be present in this insane comic book where literally anything can happen.   “He made that asshole punch a hat rack!   This is awesome!”

Then this dude suddenly speaks up.   He’s not only the mafia guy in charge of the first guy, but he’s also heard a hot tip about Speedwagon getting murdered in Mexico by a Tibetan man.   He knew Erina would be interested in hearing this, but he’d never met her before.  Small world, huh?  

How would this guy already know about it, though?  I guess Straizo deliberately leaked the story, specifically so Joseph would find out about it sooner, but it seems awfully convenient.   But that’s how Battle Tendency rolls.   This thing’s only seven volumes long, and we’ve got a lot of ground to cover...

[towerofgodscreamblogwink]

reading last chap of s2 after covering several chapters yesterday, also since it's end of the season, for once I put some bigger serious thoughts at the end

who the FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE???

OH MY GOD KARAKA IS TSUNDERE

there are OTHER slayers?? (except fucking ex white)  if they mentioned it earlier i must’ve forgot

that’s not how to talk to your daddy greatest

 -(no i don’t like jahad i’m here to bully karaka because i tend to bully my faves)

*punches table* rabbit boy. get out. i have not sighed so loud in my entire life

oh i see why people were calling them furries.

listen, you either give us catboys or leave.

please don’t say “creatures” if it’s like your furry way of talking

that guy: not to worry he has a permit

gustang: *pulls out paper* “i can get whatever i want”

i’ve read “gremlin” im dONE

you know what maybe i should just go to bed rn

also cat is destroying my door dear lord

ok so it’s the next day now

“ahahaha”

“I can’t read...”

SHIT I HAVEN’T NOTICED RACHEL GOT TELEPORTED

erh i’m dumb on this one, why have they made this parallels?

I don’t want to tell you this but he just reminded me of chara undertale...

wangan: onii-chan!?

wait what

ouch

soooo karaka believes wangan’s story even w/o ring then?

*spits tea* ow goddammit not the feels

anyhoo that’s the end of s2, siu put a note about break but yeah that was years ago, so pretty sure i’ll be starting s3 even now but i won’t be posting it rn

anyhoo well that was suprisingly long season? my usual knowledge of “Seasons” is usually from anime, and these tend to have seasons with usual 2 or 3 arcs but they usually don’t go in so many different directions 

personally it feels like half of season 2 is a season on it’s own tbh, and maybe that’s how anime could adapt it, perhaps? although 12 episodes would work best with just setting on saving bam from fug.. either anime would make the seasons in parts like aot did with s3 or have lots and lots of seasons, since probability of anime getting 24 episodes has gotten awfully small those years

As for the opinions on season 2... I see first half and season on it’s own, so let’s start from this - Bam getting rescued, and first time they enter hell train. First of all, Bam as Viole is absolutely nailing this, and I wouldn’t mind having Viole as protagonist to be honest, although it would be indeed sad as Viole is not the happiest person, but damn is he a cutie. Is he a baby. 

Wangan - oh dear I dunno if others saw the plot twist coming, but I did not - I have absolutely been viewing him as Bam’s counterpart to his Viole side, just a complete shounen protagonist who’s completely ordinary. Boy was I w ro n g. I only remember vaguely being sus about him when Viole has mentioned his ring, but that was about it, as it was never mentioned again, I forgot about it. And then it appeared Karaka has this ring. Boy was I shooketh.

I don’t think I exactly liked the further progression though until Wangan’s story was revealed - until then he kinda fell into background, and then soon again as said story was revealed. However I do know Siu has big plans with him, and at this point I know Siu’s writing enough, so I don’t have much worries about his further progression

Also sadly there was no Karaka-Wangan brother bonding

Next in mind I have Khun, naturally, as he’s my icy hot favourite. I don’t really know why even, when I saw him in anime I was quite indifferent about him. So if you want me to explain why do I like khun, I can’t really explain. Other than when he was becoming my favourite, I remember being dissappointed in myself and making a post to myself “Goddammit don’t fall for him just because he’s your type” and he’s not even really my type in terms of personality, but at that point I was jsut shrugging it off, maybe it was his childish over-dramatic posture contrasting his cold personality because I just hit that protect button

Also yes I may be basic just slap me already

And before I’ll start talking: girl’s scout outfit, really? I support my son and I can understand his edgy and k-pop fashion... But I’d be lying if I said I understood him for shit at that moment

So now that we’re past back... I was actually recently re-reading first chapters, and damn, the difference of Khun before Bam was rescued - was rather intriguing. He was laughing his ass off at silly things (his team being dressed silly) but oh sweetie did it feel weird.

Next, I keep thinking about him on the train obliberating Rachel - despite popular opinion, his cockiness was actually getting on my nerves, and only thing saving it, was his reasons were Bam - so in other words, at least he wasn’t an asshat for his own sake.

I much liked his personality during second half of the season 2 - as much as there wasn’t much khunbam content - seems like Khun has grown as a person,as his cocky aura much disappeared as he became more understanding towards his own weaknesses. Now his “cockiness” became rather entertaining if you catch my drift, because despite his jerk nature, he *is* well aware of his flaws, and I just like that. Not that he *wasn’t* considerate of that already, but the hidden floor really did wonders on him.

And dear my, his relationship with Bam. I’ll be honest, at some point during reading first half of season 2, I felt like I was reading romance story between him and Bam. It was all the little things, like playing with Rachel just to know Bam’s past, Khun noticing Bam was uncomfortable with Viole wig, Khun being near Bam as he spoke he has no reasons to live, Khun standing up for Bam when strangers tried to use him and Isu asked for his help but skipped the asking part, Khun looking back to Bam telling him he’ll be back when going to catch the fish on train, Khun trying to talk to him when Bam locked himself up in his room on train, constantly checking and finally waiting in his room when he notices Bam is gone, Khun noticing lack of Bam’s presence before going to floor of death right *after* he just said he feels like world is ending if Bam isn’t here, and then beeming when Bam does in fact appears. And that’s just all the stuff I can remember right now, and I mean the *little* things. The big things are the ones we know well - “So that I can always chase” and the famous world one I don’t have to quote.

Second half didn’t have much scenes, but there were few that did stuck to me - Bam’s line to Kiseia how he understands why she hates him, but he’ll do everything he can to stop her if she plans to harm Khun *again*. Because it seemed like Bam kind of moved on from Khun getting stabbed by his sis, but that panel did show that not only it *did* stay with him, it also stayed with him that it was *Kiseia* who hurt him.

Another scene was the one I don’t think I need to talk about much, as we all pretty understand - moment of Khun and Eduan awkward father-son bonding. Khun tries to close himself off, but Bam reaches out, and forces him out of comfort zone

But what mostly stuck out to me, was his behaviour after Khun became kinda dead. It was the way he spoke to endorsi and rest, how *he’s* going to take khun and follow the *harder* path, and anyone who *don’t want to come*, can take the easier one. Basically, he was prepared to go the harder route completely alone because it meant taking Khun with him, and he was just, prepared to go without any help, he only optionally added that others can join if they *want* to.

Another interesting scene, was Hwaryun calling him out, when few of his teammates has been captured, due to them taking the different path from Bam - but if they are meant to escape with Khun, they have to leave them, and when Bam gets steamy about it, Hwaryun goes - “I didn’t choose the teams. You’ve chosen them based on who matters more.” It’s so subtle, so cruel, yet intriguing - one of the most worst way to tell someone he cares for someone else more - she’s only saying Khun mattered to him more, but in this context, it sounds accusing, making Bam’s decision selfish. And that’s something that’s absolutely in my mind - his care for Khun, called out in “accusing” matter - as something that stopped him from commiting other decision - as something he’s willing to priotize others over.

So I can’t stop thinking about that, and truthfully? That last “take care of Khun after me.” line.

But the other line from bam’s monolouge that gets me is “Wait a bit more Khun... I’ll wake you up again.” That “again” gets to me, but I can’t really explain it. Maybe it’s the way he looks at Khun longily. 

So this covers their relationship, and I think I’m only gonna mention Bam now real quick and perhaps Eudan and Jahad, because the post’s getting long and I don’t want to make *this* post specifically long.

I don’t have much to say about Bam, as Bam himself doesn’t have much to say about him. He didn’t have much definying features or characteristics besides the time he was Viole, but you have to hand it to him for growing after meeting after she pushed him for the first time - it was still hard to say anything about him though. For several chapters later - as well, except he did manage to develop the traits of self-sacriface, and actual resolve to save everyone - because he talks about *always* and sure fights for his friends, but who doesn’t? Where his personality shines in this regard, is in the moment of Bam saving his enemies with no questions asked, and White by the way definetely helped Bam to develop his personality for sure.

But either way I’m here roasting Bam, while my goal was to say, that it was in the hidden floor where I’ve actually started recognizing him as his own character - it was in the moment of him having final confrontation with Viole, I finally saw what kind of person he was. And I liked it, he became a solid character in that moment, accompanied by proper flashbacks and exploration. And Bam continues to be then written quite consinstely as in one of later flashbacks, he indeed says, what he said to Viole a while ago - he’s afraid of being alone. Not only that, the internal conflict was added - is he a monster? is he not? It’s simple conflict but can do wonders, and it’s not something that Bam even thinks about, it’s more of a really subtle conflict within a character design itself, rather than Bam.

So basically now Bam indeed feels more of an actual character

And before I’ll end it for now, I want to mention the meeting of young Eudan, andyoung Jahad - truth to be told, I don’t have most unique feelings towards them as anyone sees the point - the adventures with pure intentions turned evil, aka how everyone can turn evil. What makes me more interested, is how Siu has used it for storytelling... Main characters having a big meeting with the younger versions of villians? Haven’t seen that one yet, so I’m interested what direction Siu will take with it, since this is my first time seeing it, so I’m really curious how exactly you can utilize such scenes in terms of long planned story, and not only how they affect story as a whole, but how they also affect just aspects of it as well.

So, that’d be it on my commentary and small “opinion” on season 2. It wasn’t like I exactly wanted  to put it here, but I wanted the end of season 2 to have more meaning to myself. But not only to have a meaning to myself *just* for my own reasons, but because I didn’t want to leave the whole season with nothing but small comments there and there. I wanted my experience altogether to be something bigger - but not only experience, but my “legacy” as well. So, that’d be about it x2, if you’re still reading, congratulations, I appreciate that, and you get an apple

[seijorhi]

asks :)

i love you guys, just putting that out there 💕

We stan a supportive dad who hates the miya twins 💅 @lovelyvillainess idk it won’t let me tag you :(

I figured at least one of them should have an ounce of common sense lmao

Holy shit! The Miya twins meet the parents was soooooo good. I've just finished reading it and come here to gush and now I will go re-read it because wow. The tension. The feeling of dread that sinks in when you realize what reader might be in for tomorrow or the next day. But the dad is my hero!! It makes me wonder what Kita and the crew would say because they certainly saw the Miyas bullying their soulmate. We are not worthy of your genius

🥺 dfghgfhkl thank you!! But also yeah, it’s a temporary victory at best and you’re definitely gonna pay for it the next day 👀

🥺🥺🥺 go dad for having our back i feel like its rare for parents to actively support u in yan!fics so like...heart is warmed

so who wants to see daddy dearest go ham on the Miya twins and beat their asses??? 

omg ive never sent a message before but the meet the parents with the twins when her dad protected her i 🥺🥺❤️❤️

He is the only valid parent just sayin (still won’t make a difference in the long run, but at least he tried?)

I'm reading your newest drabble and came across the line, "it’s the pity he’ll give you. He thinks he ruined your life when he left (he didn’t)" I love this reader's energy lmao

Definitely not me projecting one particular ex of mine onto this fic, nope, not at all. But seriously those ex’s are the fucking worst 😒

Hi! Just popped in to say i love ur meet the parents drabble. One of my fave things about ur writing in general is how well you write dynamics between characters and that recent drabble was some good food brah. Thanks!! ❤️

ahh thank you so much, bby! 

Just passing by to say you are an absolute queen and that I love you and your writing very very much !! 💞💗❤️💖💓💘

Hi anon, i’d die for you i just wanted you to know that! 💕

Reread NFWMB again. Idk if you have watched or if your familiar with Bungoy Stray Dogs, Rhi but reading it again made me think of OdaSaku 😅 Idk, it's probably the opening line about kids. So I kind of had this screnaio in my head where Iwa's higher ups and contractors are surprised that he finally agreed to kids but what they don't know is that instead of killing them, he is taking them to the reader.

I have not watched BSD but I’ve heard about it?? it is on my ‘might fuck around one day and actually watch’ list, if i can ever stop re-watching my other faves. I did write Iwa as much more of a morally ambiguous character - he’s not gonna push an old lady in the street but he also probably wouldn’t stop somebody if he saw they were getting mugged kinda guy - obviously with the reader being the exception to that. But I do like the idea of Iwa just bringing home some kid he was supposed to kill and being like ‘this is now our child, we’re a family and i will straight up murder anyone who tries to take either of you from me’

but then i also like the idea of him seeing her be good with kids and just suddenly *breeding kink* ya know?

Okay unironicly??? Nice guy yandere Bokuto is my kink and that last piece hit the nail right on the head. Everyone is cooing that you guys are adorable together, so why does it feel so awful every time he puts his hands on you~ you cant find it in yourself to say no, but you want to get away from him as soon as possible~

Yandere Bokuto makes my heart horny and it is a straight up tragedy that I don’t have more written for him (soon, bby, dw) because he’s all soft and cuddly and needy and incessant, but the moment you start pulling too far away - oop. Now you get to play with an upset Bo 👀

For all the hard work you do, someone should write for you. Depending if you're into the really disturbed, angst, smutty kind where there are no such things as regrets. That's me. I write that stuff all the time. Keep up the great writing beautiful. What's next on your upcoming lists of fanfiction you're going to post? 💋💞😍🤗👀 Love ya! @doloresdaizhamorgan

Ahh thank you, bby! You always send the sweetest asks (and btw I hoped you liked vamp Touya!!) Next up is slasher Bokuto, Akaashi & Kuroo which I am v excited about 🔪

Hi! I was wondering how you think the yandere soulmate pairings would react to the reader favouring one over the other? Would they get jealous of the other—leading to the reader's possible escape route? Also just wanted to say I love your writing so so so much—it genuinely gives me chills in all the best ways :)

I think it would be difficult for the reader to prefer one to the other as they’re all bad in different ways. However as it’s kind of implied that both Oikawa & Iwa and Ushijima and Tendou are also each others soulmates as well, I think they’d find a way to manage it without too much drama between each of them - probably exposure therapy. Say you start to cling a little more to Ushi because Tendou’s being sadistic mean, he’ll leave the two of you to spend some ‘quality time’ together - surely you’ll be feeling better by the time he gets back (you aren’t). Or if you start showing more favouritism to Iwa because he doesn’t go as hard with his punishments, the two of them will agree that next time it’s all up to Iwa, and he’s gonna make it hurt while Oikawa will be there to take care of you afterwards.

It’s all about balance.

If its with the twins, good fucking luck. They’re already bickering over the small stuff - they’ll just take it as an excuse to lord it over the other one - which ill inevitably prompt the ‘loser’ to remind you of exactly why you should really reconsider, especially with how good he’s gonna make ya feel. Basically - it’s a tug of war with you caught in the middle. Have fun tho!

[lovemesomesurveys]

What brings out the worst in you? These past few years with my mental and physical health struggles really has. I’ve just become someone I don’t want to be or even recognize anymore. I don’t want to be like this. And currently, due to some setbacks, things have been extra rough and I know I haven’t been pleasant to be around. What all did you eat today? So far just scrambled eggs and biscuits with country gravy. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, not at all.  Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom. She’s seen a lot of that lately.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?  I keep a lot to myself because I find it really hard to talk about that kind of stuff. It doesn’t come out right and I don’t always know how to express it. It comes out like a jumbled mess. I also don’t like the focus and attention on me and discussing my issues; I turn conversations on the other person and other topics rather than spend time talking about myself. It just makes me uncomfortable. Now, with surveys that’s obviously another story because I share a lot, ha. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? My mom wears a nice perfume. Do you know anyone that is gothic? No. I honestly haven’t seen anyone with that style in quite awhile. I also rarely go anywhere anymore, so. Have you seen UP?  Yeah. How is your mom? I know she’s stressed, overwhelmed, worried, and frustrated as well due to current circumstances with me and other things.  What color hair does your mom have? Black. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Uhhhh. It’s been a long time. I’m a mess, there’s nothing cute about me. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches?  Uh, HELLLLLL no. I’m so glad I’m done with having to give speeches and presentations. All the many times having to do them throughout school never made it any easier for me.

Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? Yes, it’s a must. Did you have school/class today? I’m done with school. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? A few giraffe paintings and a couple my uncle painted. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? Yeah, as a kid my mom had a lot of those done. Plus school pictures and grad photos. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? I don’t like either. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? It’s been awhile. Do you know how old your house is?  I think it was made in the early 80s. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”?  Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No.  Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? It would be tempting... like, how bad would it really be? If I was going to be absolutely miserable then no. I guess it really would depend. Of course I’d rather do something I enjoyed, but... perhaps I’d just give it a try for a bit. Are you a moody person?  Ohhh yes. What are you listening to? An ASMR video. What video game could you waste the most time on? The Sims. What is your favorite condiment? Ranch. I eat it with a lot of things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? Neglect and ignore things I shouldn’t have. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? A Bible study group. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? I like peppermint and chamomile. Do you hear any animals right now?  Not currently. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? Bat Country was my jam back in the day. Do you like Batman? Yeah. Have you ever played fetch with a dog?  Countless times. Does your house have a fireplace? Yes. Have you ever pet a stingray?  Nah, I’m good. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Gahhh, I couldn’t do the dissections. Nopeee. Who is the last baby you held? My cousin’s. Do you like Sunkist? Strawberry is good. Would you ever consider being a cannibal?  Wtf.

Do you have any scars from an animal? No. Have you ever seen an Igloo?  Nope. Do you like Korn? I liked a couple songs. How many animals do you have? One. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes?  I’ve never experienced either one, thankfully, but both sound terrifying. Ever rode in a helicopter?  Yes, but it was when I was 7 months old after my accident and I had to be transported to another hospital, so I have no recollection of it. Do you like rabbits?  Sure. Do you like mushrooms?  Ew, no. What was the last movie you cried at? I don’t remember. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small.  What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you?  Use and play me for a few years. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yep. And watched the series. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Eggs and biscuits smothered in country gravy. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. <<< Me either. Have you ever been on Omegle?  Yeah, like once just to see what it was. Are you still in love with one of your exes?  No. Do you think being born was a mistake?  No. Has a relative ever been arrested? No one in my immediate family has been. Was it a serious crime? -- Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension?  No. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? No. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way?  Hmm. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? Creative writing. I took an art history class, but no not one where I did art lessons. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? I’m gonna give it that to Linkin Park and Chester Bennington. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? Not something I’ve thought about or want to think about. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. My mom is a shift lead at Walgreens and my dad works at a mechanic shop. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house?  I don’t have any plans or desire to move for the foreseeable future. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I’m not employed or looking at this time. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? It was probably tequila. I haven’t drank alcohol in almost 10 years, so I don’t quite remember.