#c-span and chill

[baconandvibrators]

This is a very real thing that you can purchase

[galaxywannabe]

Munch O'Clock

Joaquín Torres x Fem!Reader

Summary: Joaquín comes back from his morning run hungry. He really should just let you sleep, but how else is he supposed to make sure his day starts off on the right track?

Warnings: 18+ contains smut mdni. Joaquín being the goofball boyfriend we all deserve. Reader identifies as a woman and has a vagina but there are no other physical descriptors as far as I'm aware!

Word Count: Roughly 2.5k

A/N: Ahhhh okay! So the idea for this came from this post and my addition to it, and then I said fuck it and gave it my best go! And this is that! Constructive criticism is always welcome, and if you have something nice to say about it or you liked it please let me know! It feeds my soul and keeps me writing! Anyways I'm done yammering your ear off, enjoy!

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Joaquín gets up for his daily run stupid early, like, before the sun is even all the way up early, even on his days off. So naturally, when he arrives back at your apartment roughly 45 minutes after he left it, thoroughly sweating through his cutoff t-shirt despite the early spring chill, you're still fast asleep.

You are decidedly not an early riser, even on the days that you really should be, and accordingly your alarm isn't set to go off for another 3 hours - hours you intend to spend blissfully unconscious, dead to the world. That is, until you're startled awake with a yelp as your boyfriend tugs you by the ankles down to the foot of the bed. 

The transition from sleep to wakefulness is an abrupt one, the peace of unconsciousness ripped from your grasp in the span of a single second, and as you lift your head to meet the rich, brown puppy dog eyes of your boyfriend, you know there's only one culprit responsible. 

“Joaquín, I was sleeping,” you grumble, reaching up to rub the grit from your eyes as his expression turns sheepish.

“I know, mi amor, I'm sorry. You just kicked all the covers off yourself, and you looked so pretty laying there, and then before I knew it…” 

He gives you those innocent eyes again, like it was by complete accident that he ended up kneeling at the foot of your bed, your body dragged down the length of the mattress so your pelvis was directly in front of his face. You sigh, already knowing what's about to happen and resigning to your fate - as if it's such a chore being constantly lusted after by your beautiful boyfriend. 

“Was there something you needed at-” you turn your head to the alarm clock on your nightstand, the glaring red numbers a cruel reminder of the sleep you should be getting right now, “-5:56 in the morning?”

He hesitates for a moment, chewing his lip as he flicks his eyes between your face and the space between your legs, obviously conflicted. You can tell that he desperately wants to ask, but he's not sure if he should.

He really does look guilty for waking you up, and you feel bad as you watch him actively consider suppressing his desire so he doesn't inconvenience you. You were only being grouchy in a playful way, not actually trying to dissuade him.

You reach down for his hand resting on the mattress by your hip, taking it and squeezing reassuringly. “If you do need something, you can ask me, angel. I was just teasing, I won't be mad.”

He looks up at you, his gaze holding yours as if he's searching for the truth in your words. When he finds it, he seems to relax. His shoulders loosen a little, and there's a more obvious glint of excitement in his eyes as he looks back down at the part of your anatomy hidden by the gusset of your little sleep shorts.

He looks so gorgeous right now, even moreso than usual despite the high standard he sets. The sun is starting to rise, soft rays of light breaking through the blinds of your window and reflecting off his deep brown irises, highlighting the desperation there. He's still absolutely soaked through with sweat from his morning run, dark patches in the grey fabric around his chest and armpits from the exertion, and you can smell the musky tang of it from here, sharp and masculine in your nostrils, 100% Joaquín.

Setting off the whole image, the perfect cherry on top to his already devastating appearance, is the backwards baseball cap on his head, a few dark, sweaty curls flopping through the opening in the front and touching his forehead.

The slightly shy smirk he gives you as he finally decides to make his request is absolutely panty-melting, one big hand coming up to grip your inner thigh beneath the hem of your shorts, warm and possessive. “Breakfast?”

You almost let out a groan, but you don't want him to misinterpret it as anything other than completely positive, so you suppress it. Instead you just give him an amused little smile, anticipation fluttering in your gut as you raise one brow skeptically.

“That's what you want for breakfast, Joaquín?”

He nods enthusiastically, his eyes dancing with humor as he bows to kiss the exposed skin of your thigh gently. “Absolutely. I wanna start my day off right, angel. Gotta get in my fuckin’ Wheaties or whatever, so I can go crush the rest of my day.”

You laugh, shoulders shaking at the ridiculousness of that entire statement, your gaze fond even as you roll your eyes. “Is that what you're gonna tell Sam later, when you meet him down at the ring for sparring? That you've got an extra spring in your step because you ate your girl's pussy this morning?”

“If it means you'll let me do it right now, then yes, I absolutely will tell him that,” he answers, the look in his eyes completely serious despite his smile.

Horrified at just the mental image of such an exchange, you shudder, wrinkling your nose but still finding your boyfriend's desperation amusing. “Ew, no, please no, do not tell him that. I'll let you have it, just please don't tell Sam anything about our sex life ever.”

Joaquín’s eyes light up, a dog with a bone as his fingers skate up your hips to hook in the waistband of both your shorts and panties, stopping short of removing them until he has explicit permission. “Yeah? Deal.”

You can't help but snort, completely enamored by both the excited glint in his eye and the way he's willing to agree to whatever the hell you want as long as it gets his mouth on you. If you were a more scheming woman, perhaps you'd use that to your advantage, but as it stands you can never deny him anything when he looks at you like this.

Some days it's hard to believe you have a partner who wants you so badly all the time, but then you have a moment like this one, where he's on his knees by the end of the bed, still soaked in sweat from his workout but too desperate to wait another second, and you know it's genuine. He couldn't fake that pussy-drunk look in his eyes if he tried. 

“Alright then, deal. Go ahead, take what you want. It belongs to you anyways, you know that.”

You'd think you just offered him the keys to the city the way he's looking at you right now, a visible shudder wracking down his spine at your dirty words. He tugs your shorts and underwear down your legs like he's worried you'll change your mind, though over the course of your entire relationship you don't think you've ever given him reason to suspect you would.

The room air is a little cold against the heated, damp flesh between your legs, but in an instant he's so close that his warm breath is there on your skin, chasing away any chill. He looks up at you, waiting like he's giving you one more chance to back out. Like you ever would when there's head from Joaquín Torres on the table. 

“Go ahead, amor, have your breakfast. I think we both could call this a great start to our day, yeah?”

It's all the permission he needs, but he doesn't dive in the way he so clearly wants to, the way a person might be expected to given the slightly crazed look in his eyes. Even in a heightened state of arousal, Joaquín is all about savoring things, especially where you're concerned.

He starts with soft kisses on your plush inner thighs, scattering them sweetly on each side, slowly approaching his ultimate goal. Your legs instinctively part further for him, falling open on the mattress in an involuntary reaction to his touch, and he pats the outside of your thigh in approval as he continues to work his way up, his pace unhurried. 

Even when he gets there, he still doesn't partake quite yet, pausing to take in a slow inhale, a satisfied rumble going off in his chest at the scent of you. You can’t help but let out a small, flustered whimper, a blush rising to your cheeks; having a man be so unabashedly enthralled by your body is simultaneously incredibly flattering and a little embarrassing. There’s no shame on Joaquín’s face, though, just his half-lidded, hazy stare as he turns his eyes up to meet yours, dragging out the moment as you wait with anticipation for him to begin. Jesus.

Your boyfriend’s a bit of a hyperactive guy, always jumping around with boundless energy, but nothing shuts off his brain faster than eating your pussy. That’s not to say that he’s thoughtless about it - he’s not - or that he's not incredibly skilled at it - he definitely is. It’s just that when he’s doing this, it’s all he’s thinking about, and something about that sets every inch of your body on fire every time.

Either unwilling or unable to hold himself back anymore, your boyfriend lowers his face carefully to your center and licks a long, hot stripe from your hole to your clit, collecting the ample moisture you’ve already produced along the way, tasting it on his tongue. You know he makes a noise of satisfaction because you can feel the vibrations spread pleasantly through your skin, but you can’t hear it over the loud gasp that tears from your lungs, nor over your heartbeat thudding in your ears.

This burst of pleasure should not come as a surprise to you - Joaquín has probably eaten you out more just over the course of your relationship than most women experience in their entire lives, and it’s always incredible - but somehow despite their familiarity, his ministrations on your swollen flesh feel brand new. Rather than dipping low again for another taste, he lingers at the top of you, his tongue flicking against your clit this way and that, quick but gentle, careful not to overwhelm you. It’s a nice sentiment, but when he’s on you like this, it’s pretty much inevitable.

As he starts to work on you in earnest, suckling gently at your bundle of nerves and then shifting down to probe at your entrance to give you a moment of reprieve, you hit an infuriating conundrum. As is your instinct when in the throes of passion, you reach down to tangle your fingers in your boyfriend's hair, both to ground yourself and as an outlet for the restless energy thrumming through your veins. But just when your fingertips should be making direct contact with the soft, silky curls at the top of his head, you feel fabric beneath them instead, and you frown. 

An indignant whine breaks from your lips and, god help you, your ever-attentive angel of a boyfriend catches it even in the midst of his favorite activity. His eyes flit up to yours, and his face pulls back just a hair so he can speak without muffling his voice against your folds.

“Okay, querida?” he checks, his voice rough as his tongue flicks out subconsciously to gather some of the nectar shining on his lips.

You're about to grouse and tell him that the stupid damn hat needs to come off, to get it out of your way so you can hold on the way you like, but now that you're actually looking at him you feel indecision rising in your chest. Shit. He looks goddamn incredible like this. His lower face is glinting slightly in the early morning light with your arousal, which is obviously a sight to behold all on its own.

But when you take in the rest of him - the residual beads of sweat from his morning run still dripping down the side of his face, the workout clothes that he's too occupied to notice are sticking to his skin - it's even worse. And that damned hat, as inconvenient as its presence might be, is the most important part of this picture. 

It's just some old cap with the air force logo on it, probably pulled from the back of his closet and plopped backwards over his bedhead haphazardly before he left for his run. But goddamn, something about the fact that he's still got it on as he makes out sloppily with your cunt? It's debauched, it's filthy, and it's so incredibly hot.

Your mind spirals over this observation for several long seconds, wheeling between wanting his hair freed and needing the cap to stay on for the rest of his damn life, but to Joaquín it must seem like hesitation because he starts to pull away with concern. You shake your head urgently, reaching out in panic for the back of his head as if to keep his face back where it belongs. 

“Shit, no- I mean yes, everything is great! Sorry, I just looked down and got distracted by how pretty you are for a second. Please keep going.”

It's the truth, but you decide not to mention the hat specifically in case he gets self-conscious about it and tries to take it off. He quirks an amused brow at you like you're the biggest weirdo on the planet - which is rich given he's the one who literally woke you up just to eat you out first thing in the morning - but he seems comforted by your reassurance, and with a huff through his nose he obliges your request, getting back to work without another word.

As you watch him fall back into his rhythm, that damned ballcap perched tauntingly over his sweaty curls, you resign yourself to gripping the sheets instead to keep you grounded through the onslaught of pleasure, just this once. 

Joaquín makes you come hard on his lips and tongue twice before he's satisfied with his “breakfast”, and then he's dashing off to the shower to rinse off his workout, not even asking you to return the favor like the gentleman he is. As you listen to the water running in the other room, along with the muffled sounds of Joaquín singing off key, you reach your trembling fingertips out for your cell phone.

Despite your whole body still buzzing with the aftershocks of your orgasms, you hastily add about 10 new baseball caps to your shopping cart, making a mental note to order them while he's away on his next mission. Your poor, unsuspecting boyfriend has no idea there's about to be a new staple in his wardrobe, though you have a feeling if he knew the reason, there wouldn't be any complaints.

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[warmblanketwhump]

Idea for you. Let’s say we have 5 characters living in one household. They’re all very close. A brings an illness into the house. B catches it while taking care of them. Then C joins the party. Then finally D catches it as well, leaving E to take care of all of them. They start to feel ill, but power through. By the time the others have recovered, E’s fever is bad, and now they have to take care of the caretaker.

this flu season, everyone got sick.

First to fall was A, who came home from work with a pale face and a raspy voice and went straight to bed. When E went up to see them, they found them huddled in bed, blearily staring at the wall.

“I don’t feel good,” they whimper.

Next, C’s nagging cough deepened. It had started a tickle in their throat, but soon moved all the way down into their chest. C was the active type—always going for runs and spending time outdoors—so E knew they were in trouble when a short walk from room to room left C breathless, and soon, they were bedridden as well.

Then, B started complaining about feeling chilled.

“Aren’t you guys freezing?” They sat at the dinner table with D and E, a blanket clutched round their shoulders as they stare blankly at the meal they’ve barely touched.

“No?”

B runs their hands up and down their arms, then hugs themselves tightly with a shudder. “I just can’t get warm.”

D and E exchange a look before D rests a hand on B’s shoulder. “I’ll get the thermometer.”

In the span of 36 hours, three of them had become bedridden.

At first, it’s a bit of a joke between them all, D and E commiserating as they move between rooms with cough syrup, tissues, blankets, and tea.

“We should open up our own hospital,” E cracks as they

But that all changes four days in when E comes downstairs to see D at the kitchen table, ashen-faced and clutching a mug of tea in their hands.

“D, you look awful.”

D hugs the mug closer to their chest and shudders, coughing weakly. “I’ll manage. It’s just the sniffles.”

Before D can move away, E’s got a palm to their too-warm forehead and a sinking feeling in their chest. “Off to bed with you, D. You’re the next victim.”

D groans, slumping over with their head on the kitchen table. “E, I can’t just leave you.”

“Yes, you can and you will. You’re feverish and pale as death.”

D pulls the blanket tighter, a sheepish look on their face. “I thought…I thought it wouldn’t get me too.”

“No one thinks it will. Bed. Now.”

So that’s how D winds up the fourth victim of the flu, and despite their protests, they were arguably the worst hit. What they tried to pass off as a quick rest turned into a six-hour nap. they woke that evening with a 104 fever, having sweat through their clothes and bedsheets.

“It’s going to be a long night,” E whispers under their breath.

——————-

Two days later, E’s standing in the kitchen, fighting to keep their eyes open as the coffee brews, when they feel it.

A chill, prickling between their shoulder blades before it washes over their whole body.

No. I’m just overworked and sleep deprived.

Generously, E had slept for a combined 3 or 4 hours over the past two nights. It was partially their own fault. They’d been sleeping on the hallway floor so they could be equally close to everyone, which meant they heard every whimper, every cough, every quiet plea for help.

C had been up all night with a body-wracking cough, and B’s fever had spiked twice, which meant two changes into dry pajamas. A seemed to be through the worst of it, but they were still so weak they had to be helped to the bathroom. D woke at 2 in the morning, wracked with chills so violent that E gave into their pleas and helped them take a bath to warm up. After being dried off, they spent the rest of the night clutching a hot water bottle.

After that ordeal, E hadn’t even gone to bed—they’d just collapsed on D’s carpet, tugged the nearest blanket around themselves, and passed out.

Until they were woken by C’s coughing a couple hours later, and it all began again.

I'll just finish these dishes and then go sit by the fire. It's probably just this cold snap getting to me.

But as they wash dish after dish, E finds that each one becomes harder and harder to lift. Even the effort of standing makes their knees shake, and goosebumps prickle on E’s arms for no reason at all.

No. No. I can’t get sick.

By midmorning, it’s clear that something is very wrong. E’s chilled to the bone, despite being layered in thermals, a thick sweater and multiple pairs of socks. They resist the urge to wrap up in their bathrobe—the others will know something is wrong if they have that many visible layers on.

So they take A a glass of water, trying to hide how badly their hands are shaking when they hand it off. A must be thirsty enough they don’t notice as they gulp the glass down, but they frown once they’ve finished.

“E, you’re pretty peaked.”

“Hmm?” E snaps to attention, their focus drifting.

“You just look sorta washed out. Have you been sleeping?”

“I’ve been fine. As much sleep as I can with four patients to take care of,” E snaps. They instantly regret their tone as A flinches, then raises their eyebrows. “Sorry. It’s just…it’s been a lot.”

A props themselves up, wrapping their discarded robe around their shoulders. “E, I promise I’m feeling better. I can sit with D for a while—“

“No way. You couldn’t even walk yesterday.”

“And that was yesterday,” A says, patiently. “Give me an hour. If I don’t feel up to it, I’ll tell you.”

“Fine,” E says, too tired to fight with a suddenly chipper A. “But if you even seem slightly faint, it’s back to bed.”

——————

C is the next patient to raise alarms. Though their hacking cough has rendered them voiceless, they seem to be on the mend—vigorously pointing on things and writing messages on their notepad.

E, you look sick. C stabs the pointed message with their finger for emphasis.

E stifles a groan. “You’re one to talk. Drink your cough medicine.”

C accepts the shot of dark red syrup, but their eyes don’t leave B as they take it.

E meets A in the hallway, and before they can ask, A rattles off a report on B. “Fever’s still holding steady at 101.4. They’re miserable, but they’re not going to die. Gave them a cold washcloth, aspirin, and an extra blanket.”

“That’s….good work, A.”

A rolls their eye. “You’re not the only one who can play nurse.”

D is the final stop—they’re still in the roughest shape, feverish and mumbling incoherently, but A manages to soothe them with a cool hand to the forehead and some soft words. E adds another blanket to D’s bed and forces some more medicine into them, and D’s asleep in three minutes.

All patients accounted for, they leave D to rest. E’s about to tell—no, demand—that A goes back to bed, when a sudden dizzy feeling washes over them, and they grab the doorframe.

“E? You alright?”

“I…..I…” Suddenly, E can’t even form words, they just know they’re freezing, and they’re torn between keeping hold of the wall and wrapping their arms around themselves, get warm get warm get warm, and when they choose neither, their knees buckle and they crumple to the floor.

——————

The first thing E realizes, as A and C help them to sit on their bed, is that their sheets are crisp and clean. When was the last time they’d slept a full night in their bed?

“A, go….go to bed,” E rasps weakly through chattering teeth, huddling on the edge of the bed as A helps them into pajamas. “I’ll manage.”

“E, you can’t even keep your head up. Just let us help you change.”

E shudders weakly as their bare, feverish skin hits the chilly air, and A eases them under the covers, rubbing their back. “There you go. Nice and warm.” E leans into the touch, groaning softly, and they feel a thermometer poke under their tongue.

“103.6.”

E groans, pulling the blankets tighter. “I…I can’t be sick.”

“Hush.” A covers them with another blanket. “You took care of us, now let us take care of you.”

E is too feverish and cold and achy to protest, so they let them.

[b0nten]

COOKIES

[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷｡ baking cookies with ran

[NOTES] ˚⁀➷｡ fem reader, rindou guest appearance🤗; requested by anon !! not proofread

“girl, you know damn well we could’ve bou—”

“shut it.”

RAN snaps his mouth shut — as instructed — while his brows raise and eyes widen.

“yes ma’am.” he nods, looking at you expectantly, like he’s a puppy waiting to be rewarded after doing a trick.

he looks around the kitchen, and sighs. if it makes you happy, then he’ll bear the burden of spending the next hour in front of the stove, melting butter and sticky hands from separating eggs.

‘if it makes you happy’ has become his new mantra, at this point.

“come onnnnnnnnnnn!” a whine echoes from the living room, “i’m hun-”

“you go to your room.” you command, and rindou quickly shuffles away, shōchū bottle slipping from his hand and hitting the hardwood floor before he quickly picks it up again; followed by the sound of his door closing.

“now,” you hum, tapping your index against your chin, “preheat the oven at 170°C.” you say, and even though he barely understood half of what you just said, your boyfriend speeds towards the oven and starts turning the buttons, “and when you’re done, separate a yolk from the white, and keep it. then, sift me the flour.”

“am i gonna be doing everything?” ran complains, but quickly quiets down when you give him a glare.

how you managed to tame ran haitani might have to be considered a new wonder of the world, but in all honesty, it’s fun. he — somehow — behaves whenever you’re around, and whenever you need him to. and despite his childish antics, he’s actually quite sweet, especially when he wants to be.

“do you need the larger ones, or the smaller ones?” he asks, inspecting the eggs like he’s never seen one before.

“large, please.” you reply, stirring through your bubbling butter, “do you know how to properly separate them?” you add.

“i’ve seen you do it plenty of times.” he shrugs, and cracks the shell. you absolutely try your best not to laugh while he gags in silence — egg white slipping through his fingers into the sink — recoiling in absolute disgust.

sometimes you wonder how he can beat people bloody but he draws the line at a freaking egg.

against your initial expectations, ran actually does good — everything exactly as you ask him to. he mixes the dough, something he insisted on since he’s “the man of the house”;

(said louder than normal to elicit a ‘whateeeeeeeever’ from rindou)

and you don’t even have to ask him twice to pop the tray into the fridge for the cookie dough to chill. he even offers to put the cookies into the oven, all by himself, like the proud baker he’s become in the span on an hour.

and when you lay your head on his shoulder and say “wake me up in fifteen.”, accompanied by a small yawn, he feels like he’s on cloud nine.

except for the fact that he understands fifty instead of fiteen, so after fourty-five minutes you feel him nudge you gently.

“hey, sweetheart-babycakes-honeybunch?” he pokes your cheek sheepishly.

“hm?” you hum, eyes fluttering open to see him in his apron, gloves on his hands.

“i might have… accidentally..misunderstood you….” he says, “and…. kinda let you sleep for fifty minutes, and the cookies bake for about the same time… haha!” long, bouncy hair sways in front of your face while ran tries his best to look not afraid.

you glare at him.

“they’re still edible…!” he defends his creation, placing a burnt cookie in your mouth.

‘deep breaths.’ you tell yourself, ‘deep breaths.’

“NO THE FUCK THEY’RE NOT!”

looks like rindou’s good for something, too.

[biblical-chronicles]

Seated

_______________________________________

where Liam watches a movie in which you star, not realising you are cast as the murderer.

_______________________________________

Liam wasn’t one for films. Not really. He had the attention span of a fruit fly when it came to sitting still in the dark for two hours unless it was about The Beatles, football, or some geezer getting twatted in a war. But tonight was different.

Tonight, he was feeling supportive.

Some posh cinema in London was doing a one-off screening of an old film you’d done years ago, way before you met him, before you were even a household name. It had a bit of a cult following, apparently, and you’d been roped into doing a Q&A after the showing. Liam, being the devoted boyfriend he was, had decided to tag along, despite not knowing a single thing about the film itself.

“Yer gonna love it.” you’d teased, squeezing his hand as you walked in.

Liam, stretched out in his seat, arms crossed, smirked. “Yeah? What’s it about then?”

You just smiled. A little too sweetly. And for a moment, he felt a faint prickle of suspicion, but then the lights dimmed, and the film started.

At first, it was alright. Bit slow, bit atmospheric. Some old house in the middle of nowhere, the usual. Liam was half-watching, half-thinking about what he was gonna get for a takeaway later.

And then you appeared.

Looking all young, all fresh-faced, moving through the screen with this quiet, eerie kind of stillness. You weren’t like the others. Weren’t screaming, weren’t running. You were just watching.

Liam frowned. “Alright…” he muttered to himself, shifting in his seat.

He glanced around. The audience was dead silent, completely locked in. He looked back at the screen, just in time to see some clueless lad wander off into the woods alone.

And that’s when it happened.

You emerged from the darkness, slow and deliberate, the glint of a serated knife catching the moonlight. And then you stabbed the poor bastard right in the throat.

Liam jumped.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ—”

The person in front of him turned around and shushed him.

He blinked, staring at the screen, at you. Calm. Composed. Blood spattered across your face as you twisted the blade before letting the body crumple. Then you tilted your head—just slightly—and smiled.

Liam felt a weird, cold chill creep down his spine.

The fuck was this?

He turned to you—except you weren’t there. You were alreaady at the front of the cinema, sat with the panel, watching the film along with everyone else. But that didn’t help, because now the real you and the on-screen you were bleeding into each other in his head, and suddenly, he was dating a psychopath.

For the next hour and a half, he sat in silent, horrified awe as you absolutely butchered your way through the cast. The worst part?

You looked like you were having the time of your life.

By the time the credits rolled, Liam felt like he needed a pint. Or two.

Back in the lobby, people were buzzing, queuing up for autographs, gushing about how brilliant and iconic your performance had been. Liam, meanwhile, was still standing there, arms crossed, looking genuinely unsettled.

You found him by the bar, nursing a beer like it was a lifeline.

“Well?” you grinned, nudging his arm. “What did you think?”

He turned his head, stared at you.

Then, leaning in, voice low, dead serious, he muttered, “What the fuck was that?”

You laughed.

Liam didn’t.

“Nah, seriously,” he continued, shaking his head. “Yer tellin’ me I’ve been livin’ with a serial killer this whole time?”

You rolled your eyes, reaching for his drink and stealing a sip. “Oh, come on. It’s acting, Liam.”

“That weren’t actin’,” he said, pointing at you like you’d personally betrayed him. “That was proper fucked.”

“Oh, don’t be dramatic.”

He squinted at you. “...That head tilt thing. The little smile. You’ve done that before.”

You shrugged. “Maybe... you just piss me off sometimes.”

He exhaled through his nose, running a hand down his face. Then, after a long, contemplative pause—

“Right. So, what yer sayin’ is, if I wake up missin’ a leg one day, it’s on me.”

You grinned, looping an arm around his waist. “Exactly.”

Liam sighed, finally—finally—breaking into a smirk. “Yer fuckin’ tapped, you.”

“Aw come on” you hummed, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, “you love me.”

As you and Liam made your way towards the exit, the low hum of voices around you was suddenly interrupted by the unmistakable sound of someone clearing their throat.

“Liam! Quick word?”

You turned to see a reporter, mic in hand, grinning like she’d just won the lottery. A cameraman hovered just behind her, already recording.

Liam, still recovering from the absolute psychological torment he’d just endured, blinked at her like she’d asked him to recite the periodic table. “Eh?”

She laughed. “Just wanted to get your thoughts on the film—how was it seeing your partner in such a, uh… different role?”

Liam exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. Then, like a man recounting a near-death experience, he turned to the camera, wide-eyed, dead serious.

“I’m fuckin’ traumatised.”

The reporter chuckled. “That bad?”

“Mate,” he huffed, throwing an arm out, “I just sat through two hours of her choppin’ people up like it was a casual Tuesday. Two hours.”

You rolled your eyes, nudging his ribs. “Oh, come on—”

“Look!” He pointed at you dramatically, stepping back. “She’s already gettin’ violent! And so it begins.”

The reporter laughed, while the camera guy shook his head, trying to keep steady.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” you muttered, crossing your arms.

Liam wasn’t done.

“I’m tellin’ ya now, if I don’t show up to a gig next week, I need you lot to come check the freezer, alright?” He pointed at you again, nodding towards the camera. “There’ll be some big, tragic headline—‘Liam Gallagher, taken too soon by his own missus. Found in pieces, next to a box of fish fingers.’”

You smacked his arm, laughing. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah, well,” he grinned, throwing an arm back around your shoulders, pulling you into his side, “better safe than sorry.”

The reporter was still chuckling, shaking her head. “So, despite the trauma, would you say you’re proud of her performance?”

Liam looked down at you then, his usual smugness softening just a little. He gave a small shrug, smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Yeah, ‘course,” he said. “She was fuckin’ mint.”

You nudged him again, only for him to lean down and give you a brief kiss.

_______________________________________

loved the idea, hope ya like it xx

[jjungkookislife]

Quarterly Fic Rec List 2023 #4

Hello! This is the last list of 2023! These are the wonderful fics I ended my year with! I hope you enjoy them! If anyone would like to be removed from this list; please let me know! As always each of these fics has its own content warnings, and most, if not all are 18+ so Minors Do Not Interact!

Seokjin

daydream @joonie-beanie

summary: Your literature professor has a bit of a…gift. A gift that let’s him see other peoples thoughts when he wants to. And despite the fact that he warns his class openly about this gift, one day you forget, and find yourself in a bit of pickle when Kim Seokjin reads your mind, and finds you imagining some not so school appropriate scenarios…involving him.

pink panther @gimmesumsuga

summary: The one where your boss, Kim Seokjin, tries to show you how beautiful you are

9 months to fall in love @floralseokjin

summary: It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in. Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it. Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

dream come true @sugaurora

summary: Since your brother had warned you years ago that his best friend Seokjin was off limits, you’d only allowed yourself to safely fantasize about him in your dreams. You’re not sure why tonight his lips feel so much softer and his hands so much warmer than usual, but you’re also not about to complain.

whole @yoongiphoria

Yoongi

can't afford love @dollfaceksj

summary: Your childhood dream of having 2 children in a big house with a blooming marriage by this point in time has been eliminated the moment divorce came knocking at your door. With only one child and finding yourself back at square one, you ask your ex-husband—Min Yoongi—if he’d be down to fulfill 1 of these 3 things on your childhood’s bucket-list. And no, it’s not giving you a big house.

u suck !! @kithtaehyung

summary: Jimin’s cul-de-sac is filled to the brim with autumn leaves, trick-or-treaters, and halloween spirits. but the scariest part of the night? yoongi himself. and the way he looks downright sinful in his costume.

three tangerines ^

summary: throughout high school, you sometimes caught glimpses of your brother’s older friends: some of them were sweet, some of them were smart. but the one closest to him? that guy was a total f*ckboy from day one. after a foray of horrid relationships spanning years - ending with one that broke up with you for an alarming reason - you needed advice on what the hell you were doing wrong… and this wasn’t a conversation for anyone sweet or smart.

broken pt. 1 ^

summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell.

ghostface killers @gimmethatagustd

summary: You’ve had your eyes set on Yoongi for as long as you can remember. What you didn’t know is that he’s had his eyes on you, too.

red & white @sweetestofchaos 💜

summary: you and yoongi have something to share this holiday

Hoseok

spookie coochie @gimmethatagustd

summary: The only monster Hoseok wishes you were interested in finding this Halloween season is his monster c–

drink champagne in my airplane @bangtanintotheroom

summary: Your friend Hoseok decided to use his excessive wealth for good and take the both of you on a much-needed vacation. The flight was meant to be relaxing until he broke out one of his most expensive bottles of champagne.

a holly, jolly crisis @kpopfanfictrash

summary: At this time last year, you thought you had it all. A kick-ass screenwriting job for the hottest TV show in LA, an actor boyfriend whose career was taking off and an affordable apartment with not one, but two bathrooms. Fast-forward to now and you’re single, soon-to-be jobless and searching for a way to scrape together January rent. Everything seems to be falling apart, which was why you told your family you weren’t coming home for the holidays. Enter your little sister, Sara, who recently became engaged to her boyfriend, Yoongi and needs you home to celebrate. The biggest problem? Returning home means you’ll be forced to face everything and everyone you left behind, including Yoongi’s best man – and your ex-best friend, Hoseok.

12 lays of christmas @minisugakoobies

summary: Your brother’s best friend Hoseok really likes your cookies 

it's a promise @sahmfanficbts

arranged marriage au

Namjoon

close, closer, closest @augustbutwinter

summary: you know your soulmate is close, but you haven’t met them yet. every day your counter goes up when you pass that one station. until one day it doesn’t.

make an effort @7ndipity

summary: When you ask Joon to be your fake boyfriend, he ends up finding out about your very real crush on him. Luckily for you, the feeling’s mutual.

a word from our sponsors @ugh-yoongi

summary: you’ve co-hosted a podcast with namjoon for three years; have known him even longer. the two of you have always been the picture of platonic, but that hasn’t stopped the internet from doing what the internet does. the shipping? a little weird at first, but you can understand it: two attractive twenty-somethings always in close proximity to one another, obvious (platonic!) chemistry—people have created ships for less. the fanfiction, though? also pretty funny… until you can’t stop thinking about it.

Jimin

cloud nine @suga-kookiemonster

summary: “he’s here again,” viv whispers. “you know who. the hot guy who’s totally into you.” and he is hot--devastatingly hot enough that you know he can’t actually be into you, because the universe simply doesn’t work that way. that still doesn’t stop your heart from pounding when he smiles at you from across the room.

menace @eoieopda

summary: Far and away the worst of your brother’s friends, you added Park Jimin’s presence in your life to the long list of grievances you held against Seokjin. Too bad you can’t keep your hands off him.

crescent bound @parkhabits

summary: One night you’re having the best hookup of your life and the next you’re being told that the little mark on your neck is more than just a hickey and that Park Jimin was more than you expected too.

the dark side of the moon @dovechim

summary: falling in love at first sight is cliche, not until it happens to you on a dark night in a lonely alley. but you’re only human, while Park Jimin is Alpha of his pack; it could never work out. so you resort to pining for him like a wolf howling at the moon, but when Jimin goes feral, that’s when everything changes. 

a remedy for mondays ^

summary: all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.

heavy petting @kittae

summary: Your boyfriend is not just a cat hybrid, he’s also very needy! When you come home from work and you expect him to be all over you, you’re fairly disappointed to find he prefers a nap over some well-deserved quality time. You’ll make sure to pay him back for that.

the devil in his details @johobi

summary: Evil comes in many forms. In this instance, it’s a 5′8″ pretty-boy with an even prettier dick. And you’re the form you want him to come in.

me, you, and this thing we have between us @boymeetsweevil

summary: You’re pregnant and jimin is…happy about it

devil's advocate @7cypher

summary: You had met the devil on a hot summer day. He had shown up in a red polo, red cap, and white sneakers on his feet. That day, you had invited your devil into your home and he hasn’t left since.

no strings @kpopfanfictrash

summary: It started off as such a simple question. How to know if you’re bad in bed? Of course when you asked, you didn’t imagine Jimin would actually answer.

the ten days of ex-mas @kpopfanfictrash

summary: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling. Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.

Taehyung

midnight @sailoryooons

summary: Taehyung loves being your prince charming, even if it means trying to find where you’ve wandered off to in the middle of a Halloween party without your shoes. 

the holi-date @kpopfanfictrash

summary: When your ex-boyfriend becomes engaged to his new girlfriend at your annual Holiday party, you admittedly are not in the best place. Which explains why you down six shots of alcohol, enthusiastically drop it low on the dance floor and – oh, yeah – tell everyone you are also dating someone. The only problem? You are obviously not. Good thing your neighbor happens to be cute and in need of a ride to work every morning.

of lace and lust @hobidreams

summary: friendship rule number one: don’t imagine how amazing your best friend’s cock would feel inside you. except that’s all you can think about after accidentally discovering taehyung’s kink for panties. specifically, the lacy ones you’re so fond of wearing.

hush @suga-kookiemonster

summary: four seats, five bodies. “careful, sweetheart,” he breathes into the shell of your ear, hands tightening over your waist in warning. you lick your lips, pausing just long enough to ponder: what if you don’t want to be careful?

rotten angelcake @inkedtae

summary: she’s as sweet as angelcake; he likes her honeyed rotten. this is a series following the complicated relationship between a sugar baby, sugar daddy and his corruption kink.

sausade @kimvvantae

summary: no one is born to be alone and no one can be complete in oneself - that’s why, in this world, every person has a pair, someone that complements their soul in every aspect. you, however, are an exception to the rule, for the mark on your wrist indicates that your pair has passed away way before you were born.

kinda hot @kimnjss

summary: you’ve always been cute, soft, tiny in taehyung’s eyes. but that’s changing one night when you’re accidentally sending him a naughty picture. forcing him to realize, maybe his best friend is kinda… hot?

Jungkook

jungkook drabble @euphoricfilter

summary: obsessed gf m/c and equally as obsessed boyfriend jungkook. he’s the light of her life, and she’s the reason he smiles

blessed with a curse @sweetestofchaos

summary: When your company throws a mandatory Halloween party, you aren’t thrilled. You’re even less thrilled when a delusional coworker ruins the party and places a curse on everyone because her crush, the resident werewolf, Jeon Jungkook, rejected them.

seasons don't fear the reaper @augustbutwinter

summary: life is short, they say. one day everyone meets their death, they say. how often can you meet yours before he takes you with him?

because i love you ch. 13 @readyplayerhobi

summary: According to society, Jeon Jungkook should not be with you. He should be with a younger, hotter and thinner girl instead of wasting his time on you. It’s a good thing Jungkook doesn’t care what society thinks then.

a holiday snowdown @kpopfanfictrash

summary: The Inn on the Hill is in trouble. Or that's what your boss, Namjoon, says during the last-minute All Staff holiday meeting he calls. You need money, and you need money fast, or his parents are planning to sell the resort. When no one can think of an easy solution, Namjoon proposes his parents' idea: a weeklong social media blitz with a celebrity guest. The celebrity? None other than Jungkook Jeon himself: two-time Olympic gold medalist, world-class snowboarder and the nation's sweetheart. What's the problem? You happen to have met Jungkook Jeon before, and sincerely hoped you'd never see him again.

all grown up @btsgotjams27

summary: A family reunion brings back the young boy you grew up with. Though he wasn’t the doe-eyed boy you once knew, he stood in front of you all grown up.

this is us ^

summary: you start to fall hard for jungkook.

OT7/Multiple Members

carnival of terror ch. 2 @theharrowing

summary: The carnival is in town, and it is unlike anything you have ever experienced. Will you make it out alive?

the gentlemen @honeymoonjin

summary: Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now!

of storms and vampires @wishesunderthestars

summary: During the worst storm you have witnessed in your life, a bat crashes on your window. When you bring it inside your cottage to take care of it, you realize it isn’t simply a bat but a baby vampire. Your past has come back to haunt you because Jungkook’s sire is no one else but Min Yoongi, who you had left behind when you disappeared five years ago.

oh, little red @jincherie

summary: You knew they warned you about that path for a reason, you knew you shouldn’t take it as a shortcut. You knew, but you were running late, and you did it anyway. Oh, little red, just what have you gotten yourself into?

Ateez

Seonghwa

let me keep you warm @sweetestofchaos 💜

summary: “Are you cold?” “A little bit but I’ll be okay.” “Come here, let’s get you all warmed up.”

[lilyminer]

Y’all remember when I made a headcanon timeline for c!Phil? Well I made one for c!Techno too! It’s less divided into distinct eras like Phil’s, more just listing what he was doing during any given time span.

It came out way more tied to Phil’s history then I think I meant to make it but there’s only so much space on the paper so 5 time spans to describe is fine with me. Here’s Phil’s way more detailed one btw lol:

Phil lore aside:

I always headcanoned them to have met during Phil’s military arc but only realized when I started putting this together that that means Phil was already very chilled out by the time they met. Which is fine, Techno doesn’t have to have personally witnessed all of Phil’s war crimes to forgive them. Honestly I kinda like the idea better that no one who knew Phil in his first few hundred years is alive anymore. Kinda adds to the angst that Phil is haunted by the crimes no one alive was there to witness him commit, what he’s done is between him and the gods now.

[coveholdenmyluv]

I. Midoriya - New Beginnings

Synopsis. Stained and calloused, the commission has nurtured your palms into silent artillery and trained you to fight the wolves they throw you in with. Not at all accounting for the possibility that you too might learn to bite the hand that feeds you.

- Or alternatively - in which the Hero Commission recruits YOU to go undercover as a student in UA to keep a certain class, who already seems to be a magnet for trouble, in check...

It's safe to say you get a little more than what your briefing covered.

A story of the finding of self love, a family, and a new beginning.

Series masterlist.

Chapter warnings. slight manga spoilers in the beginning portion, though it isn’t obvious and not noticeable if you haven’t actually read the manga. blood. reader is very troubled. fluff. slow chapter.

Chapter synopsis. Have you ever wanted to chill with Keigo Takami and watch the sports festival? Well, here’s that.

Prologue: Beginning of the End. 10.5k words

The smell of copper inhabited your nostrils, along with the stench of sweat and humidity; it was stifling.

Your hair went disheveled and stuck to your dewy forehead whilst you laid upon dirt and what was left of the tattered ground. Your hero suit was torn arbitrarily and your aching limbs thwarted your ability to pursue your current goals of saving Japan, but most importantly, the man beside you. The ring wrapped snuggly around your finger now tore into your skin, and the newly acquired injuries that would surely leave behind their scars on your still young body were spewing out crimson liquid — the same crimson liquid you have gained familiarity with throughout the span of your entire life. Your own body is sizzling to the touch, you swear you're almost steaming, and figures familiar to you were littered across the expanse cage you have enclosed yourselves in, most just barely clinging to a steady breath.

"You were mine since you were young, Y/N. There was no use hiding and rejecting me." The monster with detached golden eyes declared. His hand clutched the thick of your throat, an action that causes your own to instinctively claw at his grip as tears gathered in the corners of your E/C eyes. Your legs, now dangling above the ground, went limp and would serve no more, they were as lifeless as your wilting will to live.

And then, an agonizing wave of invasion swept into the entirety of your body, it seeped and snuck its way into the nooks and crannies. It was as if there was a foreign soma forcing its annexation onto your soul, mind, and spirit. It came with a purpose — there was something it yearned from you, and it would not accept defeat.

And, unfortunately, it was succeeding.

You could physically feel that part of yourself being ripped and pried from the inside out, it was excruciating to your very core. Though, perhaps it wasn't as physical as you had first thought it to be. There was something that made up the entirety of yourself that was being pilfered right from your very hands and there was no struggle to be had.

"I will take what is rightfully mine, something that should have been done years ago." He continued with no quiver present in his voice and no bluff to be detected.

The man beside you must have realized that fact, for he groaned in protest and in a last ditch effort to frustrate the one sided exchange, his curled fist pierced a fine edged carmine sword into the monster's chest. He wouldn't, nor could he, allow even a fragment of the essence that fabricated your being to be pilfered. He couldn't ever bear the will to forgive himself if so.

Newly crafted tears slid down the fat of your cheeks, though their origin did not stem from the pressure being applied to your esophagus. You wanted to cry out and protest, you yearned to do so, but all that escaped your throat were croaks, rasps, and coughs. You had run out of fight and could save no more, for even the salvation of yourself seemed intangible.

"Mine."

You were hopeless.

But then, your name began to ring, your actual name — not that wretched hero alias you had been bestowed when young. Someone was calling out to you, the real you. That small and fragile girl curled into a ball in the warm pits of your own heart for she deserves no less of a home. The minute delicacy you treat with the utmost care because no one else dared to.

No one else, expect for him.

Because he too cradles his own self with the thick skin of his worn hands, for not even his own mother, and much less his father, had ever cared to. He, who you'd hold a million times over if that meant he'd receive the same amount of comfort you have been allowed.

Him and them.

They, who have allowed you into their found family with wide open arms and a spot within. They who saw you, the real you, and despite each finger on both of your hands being stained with the same crimson liquid currently spewing out of your figure, still handled every callous with the utmost care. They held your tainted hands and soul with their own contrasting ones because they love you.

They, both them and him, give you purpose; the will to live.

So when you hear your name being cried, that once small and fragile girl stands towering and impenetrable. An invigorating draft spreads throughout your entire body, one different than the blaze your skin is experiencing. The tepid feeling enveloping you feels right and like a security blanket. It's a sensation that you never want to slip from your grasp, you crave to feel it for the rest of however long your life filled with a never ending fight lasts.

Unfortunately, it is slipping and seeping through the cracks of your fingers and it has yet to seize.

Your name is still being called, you can hear it, only now it's louder and the hot breath can be felt in your ear. The voice is familiar, so near and dear, alike a feather on your cheek dancing across your skin to the soothing tune making its way towards your nose.

Then, you awake.

"Tickle tickle." Came a smooth but masculine voice. "Yo, sleeping beauty! Don't make me get Kitty on your case." You could feel the weight of his body inhabiting the space beside you, as well as the open palm laying atop of your shoulder where his head perches itself on. "Good morning, bed head. Where did you run off to in dream land this time?" He continued.

In a frenzy, your body suddenly shoots upright and your breath goes rapid while your head feels feverish. Your heaving causes your fingers to grip the sheets on either side of your thighs in an attempt to ground yourself whilst your bloodshot eyes look every which way frantically.

"Woah, hey hey, calm down." Said the familiar voice, though not as animated as it previously was, now sounding more intimate in tone. His face appears within your line of sight which causes your heart to begin to steady itself immediately. "You're safe." He whispers.

Keigo.

Shutting your eyes and reaching your fingers across your chest, you clutch your shirt, willing your heart to calm it's hasty thumping. Warm hands plant themselves atop your shaking shoulders, bringing forth comfort to your panic stricken self. After you allow yourself a moment to gather your bearings, your eyes hesitantly peek at your surroundings.

You realize you're in your bedroom with pale violet sheets enveloping your form. Your curtains are drawn, most likely the doing of the young man now trying his best to wiggle himself into your line of sight. That is the moment you truly allow yourself to gaze at him: his scar free skin and unruly dirty blond hair were the first to strike you.

You could have sworn his mane was shorter the last you had seen it.

His golden eyes were the same, though they were missing the clues of stress and sleepless nights. His vibrant red feathered wings were tousled behind his back, always appearing ruffled in the early hours of the day.

Using a palm, you touch your own forehead in an attempt to ease the slight headache currently possessing you. "Was it that dream again?" He speaks softly, both of his brows nearly meeting each other in a worried manner.

You sigh before you answer, "No, this was... different. It wasn't a memory- or at least I don't think so. It seemed too real for that. As if I could feel the pain, mentally and physically, that I was going through." You explain.

He cocked his head in confusion, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Your puzzled gaze meets his own and you hesitantly reply, "That's the thing... I don't even remember what it was about."

Keigo hums in ponderment while his lips purse, "I see... well, I made coffee downstairs if you want some. Hopefully it'll come back later." He suggests, though you aren't sure if reliving that dream sequence is something you desire. "Don't force yourself, you can always stay and rest if your head hurts too much." He reassures, and you surmised that he must have noticed the discomfort on your face.

Suddenly, sharp claws and soft paws anchored themselves into your thighs, almost branding you as dough in the process. "Ouch." You mutter as you rub at your tired eyes. "Kittyyyy-" You whine next and slip the small fur ball into your arms in an attempt to halt her affectionate assault.

"Told ya." The man at your side teased, "She doesn't want you to miss the introductions." He adds.

"Introductions?"

"The Sports Festival is about to begin, if you want to join me. Like I said, don't force yourself. I could always record it for you if you'd prefer, and then we can watch it during dinner instead."

'Oh, that's right. I promised I'd watch it with him.' You reminded yourself.

"It's fine, I'm probably just hungry." You chuckle lightly.

He perks up at your words and lifts a finger in the air as if to stop you from speaking any further. "Say no more, I made you a smoothie bowl! Topped with your favorites, of course." He declared with a smug grin.

"Thanks Kei." You say with a small smile tilting your lips, "I think I can deal with it for today."

He lifts himself from your bed and you notice that he is still clad in his crème silk pajama set, dressed to stay in for the day. "I know you can, trooper. I'll see you downstairs, don't take too long." He told you with a sing-song lilt to his voice. It's only when he's halfway out the door that you notice the two of you have slept in matching apparel.

You gasp in horror, "Did you copy my PJ's?! Again?!" You yelled after him.

"I had them on first!" He defends with the same amount of volume.

"I highly doubt that." You mutter to yourself bitterly.

Slipping the covers off of your body, you begrudgingly swing your legs to dangle on the side of your bed. Your arms instinctively stretch themselves above your head as you prepare yourself to take on the leisure day and your body begins to mourn the loss of comfort that your duvet provided. Kitty hops off of your bed and pads along the ground behind you as you slip on your fluffy house slippers and begin your journey to your personal bathroom.

Stepping up to the sink, you grab a hair tie and sweep your long locks out of your face to begin the cleansing of your teeth, albeit as groggily as humanly possible.

Today is the annual Sports Festival and also happens to be one of your very rare days off. The event is one that people from all over the country clear their schedules for in favor of tuning in. Always eager for a taste of what the next generation of heroes have to offer, and rightfully so, considering they will one day be the Pros patrolling their familiar streets. Graduating from UA, the only school that holds a festival as grand as this one, almost guarantees you a spot within the top 100 heroes. That fact being proven by most of the top 5 currently inhabiting the rankings having been UA graduates themselves.

Keigo, or Hawks as many know him, is apart of the minority so high in the rankings that haven't even spent a day on the campus. You are set to follow suit, once you are of age.

After you finish with your teeth, you turn the faucet to begin the purification of your face. Closing your eyes, you gently douse water into your pores to rejuvenate your skin. Once you feel adequately satisfied, your eyes flutter open and you lift your hand before you in aim to close the flow of the water.

Only to find that once your eyes adjust and clear their vision, water is not what coats your fingers, palms, and face.

Sanguine liquid paints the skin of your palms so heavily that even your fingerprints are not visible.

Your breath quickens and your body begins to tremble as you instinctively lift your gaze onto the mirror and gape at the reflection bearing itself back at you. Your unnaturally green irises stare petrified, but what causes your lip to quiver is the striking color of liquid that is splashed against your face. You forcefully squeeze your eyes shut and your palms slam themselves onto the surface of your counter; breath heavy as you attempt to ease your mind.

Red.

Red.

Red.

All you see is red, everything is red. You hate the color red. Red brings carnage and horror-stricken screeches preaching bloody Mary. Red draws out the nightmares buried from your past, a past your mind refuses to remember. The feeling of warm red liquid hauls the taste of bile to your throat, clawing and cleaving its way up into your mouth. You hate vomit, it makes you feel like you can't breathe or speak. You feel like you're drowning and the harder you swim, the faster you sink.

"Meow."

You halt mid breath and cautiously pivot your head towards the sudden noise.

You forgot Kitty had followed you into the bathroom, where she sat delicately on your counter whilst she groomed herself.

That's right, Kitty.

Keigo had allowed you to keep the once frail stray, despite the slight allergies her presence brought him in spring. It was only ever in that season when his nose would grow red and his eyes puffy. He even helped you choose her name, despite how stupid it may be. You both weren't as bright when it came to those matters, but you didn't mind. It was a name you both chose of your own free will, with no external power or matters crying in your ears for something different.

Red — Kitty's collar is red, and furnished with a bow littered with small sewn in fishes. You had picked it out yourself and attached a silver bell to the ring.

Keigo's wings are red, as well. The most vibrant shade of carmine you have ever seen, and they were stunning too. Those feathers littered around your home were soft and velvety, not once have they ever made you feel asphyxiated, it was the opposite really.

Your lips aren't naturally red, far from it,but in the past you had seen The Snake Hero: Uwabami flaunt her newest shade of vermillion on a billboard. You didn't feel stifled then, either.

You allow yourself to breathe at your own pace and in-take as much oxygen as your lungs can hold. "It's just in your head, it's just in your head. It's not real, nothing is. You're home, you're safe." You whisper to yourself.

Your eyes cautiously draw themselves back towards the mirror to risk a glance at your reflection.

Your green eyes still peer back into your soul, as expected, though your face is no longer obscured, showing off the beautiful tone of your supple skin. Shifting your gaze, it lands on the palms that are displayed before you and you begin to analyze every line and indent engraved into the pads of your fingers, until you clench them into tightly closed fists.

Your vision grows cloudy as you whimper, "How did you do it, Nagant?"

You guess she hadn't known the answer herself, which is why her situation ended as it did.

"How did you deal with the guilt?" You whispered into the vacant air, words lifted and towed with the flow of your AC. Questions that would never be heard nor answered.

Still, you steeled your piercing gaze and reminded yourself, "Purpose. This is my purpose." That familiar phrase that has been repeated since you were young. "What I'm doing is the right thing. I'm a hero." You say with a now steady breath, though the pit in your stomach remains as heavy as ever.

Finishing your morning routine in silence, you then head down the stairs of your shared penthouse and into the open kitchen where Keigo waits patiently. He hands you your favorite mug filled with coffee upon your arrival and makes his way into the living room where he takes his place on your plush modern couch.

"You're just on time, intros are about to start." He informs you with his own steaming mug in his hands.

Still standing behind your kitchen counter, the open layout allows you to view the flat screen TV without having to move a centimeter. "Yay me." You husked dispassionately, taking a sip from your cup and savoring the creamy taste on your taste buds. Keigo always makes the best coffee in your opinion.

"Shh, it's starting." He dismisses your remark with a wave, earning a soft chuckle from you.

The screen opens with the Voice Hero: Present Mic making his enthusiastic appearance. His boisterous voice was heard from your speaker, announcing the commencement of the annual event.

"Heya! Pay attention audience, are you ready?!"

They couldn't have chosen a person more fit than the voice hero himself, having the ability to uplift the audience with their energy and commentary alone. The screen pans to a lively audience who all express their excitement in their own ways.

You grab the smoothie bowl that Keigo had prepared for you, indeed being topped with your favorites just as he had promised, and made your way into the living area to join the man lounging on the couch. The moment after you take your seat and set your meal onto the coffee table before you, a light weight settles itself into the warmth of your lap.

"Morning, Kitty." You spoke softly while petting the fur ball that vibrated on your thighs.

Kitty was blessed with a silky grey and white coat of fur that fluffed up in every which direction, but most especially near her tail. She has hazel eyes embellished by natural black eyeliner which resembles that of Queen Cleopatra herself.

Kitty is one of the few privileges you were granted that other kids your age might also be — she is continuously a beautiful reminder of the joy you are allowed.

You hummed, "Hey, you fed Kitty, right?" You ask the man beside you, knowing his morning task was to do so. "She's been following me around all morning like she wants something from me." You narrow your eyes suspiciously.

The man in question nods in confirmation, before he looks to your lap where he gifts the kitten a disapproving glare. "You ate before your Power Nap, Kitty. You need to wait for lunch like the rest of us." He scolds before he leans himself nearer to you and shields his mouth with a palm to whisper, "She's giving you the feed me now look, don't fall for it Y/N."

Whether due to her keen hearing or Keigo's inability to undertone his voice, she very obviously caught his words and how hypocritical she thought them to be considering the dull expression she gave him and the bowl in his hands. It was almost as if she was questioning why he wasn't practicing what he was preaching.

You guessed she had seen him sneak in a snack before you joined him downstairs, which wouldn't have surprised you nor would you have blamed him if so. The strict diet the commission had you both sustaining did not allow much leeway, so anything extra you could sneak in during the day was considered a blessing.

"Wha- Did you see that, Y/N?! Your damn cat is calling me fat!" He yelled in pure anguish whilst pointing an accusatory finger her way.

"Keigo, you were nominated for this years "Sluttiest Waist in Hero Society" and the only reason you came as a close second was because apparently, EdgeShot activating Foldabody to lessen his amount of millimeters, was allowed. I think you're fine." You state blankly. "Plus... she's my cat and therefore can never do wrong in my eyes."

He squawks in offense before he decides to simply return his irritated gaze to the television you had both been ignoring.

Cats and birds never did get along, did they?

"The miraculous new stars who overcame enemy attacks with their hearts of steel! Hero course, Class 1-A!"

Out stepped twenty teens that marched their way onto the center of the stadium where they took the stage.

"Oh wow, what a colorful class." You chuckled through a snort, though you harbored no ill intent. The variety of the colors that made up the sea of first years was so vast, it humored you a bit. The screen panning allowed you to spot heads donning colors from brown to pink and even two-toned manes. The contradicting expressions of nonchalance and trembling fear over the attention they were harboring brought the both of you such hilarity that you couldn't contain.

You yourself weren't a stranger to lenses being shoved in your face — it's a package deal that comes with constantly being seen beside the number three hero.

"Ain't that right. Holy shit, that's Endeavors kid isn't it? The smallest Todoroki, I believe." Keigo says as he squints his eyes at the screen.

"Endeavors kid? He joined UA?" You ask, though it was a pretty stupid question. It shouldn't have surprised you that such a protégé would follow in his father's footsteps, but for some reason it did. You have never met the boy nor his father but you wouldn't stagger if that were to ever happen, seeing as both you and the two-toned boy rank similarly in the social hierarchy.

He nods his head and sets his, now empty, bowl beside yours on the coffee table. "Yup, did I tell you that I'm thinking of mentoring one of these kids for an internship?" He asks.

Your face contorts in slight perplexity, "What? No you haven't told me anything pertaining that. I thought you weren't interested in mentoring anyone from the next generation." You question the man as you shift to look his way, he doesn't gift you the same courtesy, instead opts to keep his gaze pointed at the screen displaying the rest of the first year classes.

"Not true, you're apart of the next generation and I'd like to think I've played a diligent role in your mentoring." He rebuts.

Kissing your teeth, your eyes roll dismissively, "That's different."

"How so?"

"You know how."

"Well, I had a change of heart." He states and you have trouble believing him.

"So, what? Don't tell me you're considering baby Todoroki, he's probably going to be scouted by his own dad." You remind him.

"We'll see. I have time, maybe someone else will catch my eye." He considers.

Slapping a palm to your lips, you snort, "Stop looking at them like you're at a pet store, Kei!" He grins and shrugs his shoulders at you. "Why the sudden change of heart anyway? Since when do you need a UA sidekick? Last I checked, the agency was doing so good that the sidekicks you already have are allowed two breaks per day." You ask him.

"Cause why not?" He says nonchalantly.

Keigo has always been blunt and a very good liar, so theoretically his answer would have fooled anyone else, anyone but you. He was present in your earliest memories which led you both to know each other like the back of your hands. Your existences played crucial roles in your reasons for being heroes.

The longer you looked at him as if he were demented, the more he let up on the front he was attempting to mask himself with.

"Look, it's nothing, okay? I promise. Just a bit of investigation on my own part, and I'm not even one hundred percent sure I'll be making any offers yet." He reassures you as softly as he can.

Hawks is a hero through and through, and a damn good one at that. You trust Hawks to handle the safety of the citizens with the utmost care.

But Keigo? The Keigo you have known and grown with? You trust that man with every fiber of your being, so much so that if he grew the strange urge to awaken you at some ungodly hour of the night and told you to pack your shit because he planned to run away with you, you'd grab your luggage and ask where to. So, if that man is telling you that this is no cause to worry about, you'll try your damn best to let him be and not worry about it.

"Fine." You relent.

"Quiet everyone!" Says a new voice coming from the speakers, stealing your attention. Standing tall on the designated stage was the R-rated Hero: Midnight, dressed in her controversial hero outfit. "Representing the students this year is Katsuki Bakugo from Class 1A!" She announces proudly, whipping her whip for emphasis.

With his hands in his pocket, an ash blond with scarlet eyes trudges himself up the metal steps exuding an air of boyish insouciance. The stadium settles into an eerie silence with the attendees on the edges of their seats, eager to hear what the student had to pledge.

"I pledge... that I'll be number one."

His declaration of war causes the throng of students before him to catapult aggrieved 'Boo's' in his direction, not at all pleased by his haughty assertion of dominance. Contrasting the sour group of teens, the man beside you cackles at the audacity.

"Can you believe the balls on that kid?" He says through a fit of giggles.

"I wonder if the puppy's bite is as strong as his bark." You add amusedly.

Midnight then officially begins the event by appointing an obstacle course as the first game they will have to compete in. It seems easy enough and may even be enjoyable considering they are allowed the use of their quirks.

The very obvious first obstacle was the narrow entry way in which the students rushed through to get to the rest of the hurdles, ignorantly paying no heed to the cramped space. Most students try their best to bulldoze their way through, almost molding themselves as one in the process. Though, suddenly their attempts get thwarted by a frosty sheet of ice billowing white mist along with it and effectively immobilizing and solidifying the students to the ground.

"Baby Todoroki." Keigo says, clearly impressed by the quick spring to action displayed by the teen who emerged on the other side of the entrance, successfully sauntering through the first obstacle.

Although a few managed to escape his frozen shackles, he was the first of the first years to take action and in the span of seconds, which was an impressive feat on its own. "He doesn't seem like much of a baby to me." You admit. Not only that, but his quick and skillful thinking has acquired him current first place, which was sure to garner the attention of quite a few elite pros, including the one beside you.

It seems that the few who promptly escaped the frost king's clutches were none other than his fellow classmates. Their difference in experience unquestionably playing a crucial role in the measures being displayed today.

"Are those... sticky balls?" Keigo asks from beside you, his face teetering the edge of genuine curiosity and mirth. He was referring to a small boy pulling at dark purple balls that lined the top of his head, which he used to ricochet off of.

Without warning, a guffaw slips past your lips which you eagerly attempt to conceal with a palm. "S-stop Kei... that's so immature and so not f-funny."

Colossal robots, that were once again swiftly subdued by the same two-toned boy, were the next obstacle that the school had invested in.

"That boy does not miss." Keigo remarks.

Unfortunately for the rest of the students, he had only hindered the mechanical objects momentarily, though that didn't seem like much of a hassle for the confident blond named Bakugo. The boy used the explosions erupting from his hands to carry himself up and over the obstructions. Following his perseverance, a few more of his class members make their way through, displaying their unyielding tenacity.

"Class 1-A doesn't waste time standing around." You comment. "It's interesting, just the one experience has drowned out their hesitance?" You murmur, not ready to admit to yourself that you were thoroughly impressed.

"Oh, I'd dominate this one." The pro next to you says as the next obstacle appears on screen — a landscape with various chunks of rocks stemming up from the ground like pillars, creating multiple dangerous cliffs leading to who knows where. The duality of the hurdles needed to be overcome presented the ability for a variety of quirks to make their marks. A girl with what you assumed was a frog quirk easily made her way across the thin tightrope, a support course student showcased her own inventions as she swung herself through the course, and a boy with engines in his calves did his best to glide on through.

And finally, the third test was a huge dirt field with hidden landmines, a minefield.

"By the way, these landmines are for games, so they're not that powerful... but they're loud and flashy enough to make you wet your pants!" Present Mic announces enthusiastically.

"Mic is in his Tengen Uzui era?" Keigo questions.

"That or UA wants to see how many lawsuits they can get in a day." You guessed.

As if proving truth to your words, many students acting impulsively haphazardly step on multiple mines, causing them to be thrusted into the air by the hot pink blasts. You had to admit, the sight was quite entertaining.

"Oh you've gotta be kidding me." You comment with a roll of your eyes as you notice the callow way Todoroki and Bakugo, who have both consistently kept the lead, seemed to be getting physical on the field all the while sustaining their pace to the finish line.

"And now we've got someone new in the lead! Rejoice mass media, it's the kind of development you guys love!"

Just as the brawl between the top two was growing interesting, a profound explosion was heard near the beginning of the field, and out came a green tuft of hair from where the blast originated, soaring in the air on a matching in color chunk of metal.

"Class A's Midoriya is in hot pursuit of first place... actually, scratch that, he's taken the lead!"

"Where the hell did he come from?" Keigo asks stupefied.

"I don't know, but... that was kind of badass." You answered, finding your interest piqued by the sudden change of events. If this underdog had a plan as to how he was going to land, be it with his quirk or not, then he might actually have a chance at taking first in the last few seconds.

"Holy hell, he used them as stepping stools!" Keigo yelled with a flutter of his wings, most likely caused by his sudden excitement.

Kitty, who had gone unbothered for most of the morning, had decided she had enough of the man's voice and hopped off your lap. The ball of fluff pranced her way up the stairs, presumably on her way to the comfort of your room. Not that either of you noticed since you were preoccupied lifting your jaws off the ground.

The teen had lunged himself in a way that seemed as if he had used the back of the former leaders as a means to steady himself so that he could slam the green slab of metal he was riding onto the floor, applying the pressure needed to activate yet another explosion to propel himself forward. The eruption of pink smoke billowed in the air, hindering only two of the three boys fighting for first place.

"He just violated his classmates..." You uttered in astonishment.

"Violated? He demolished and humiliated them." Keigo countered, "No way he's gonna stay in first though, right?"

Your lips pursed in thought, "I'd say it's fifty-fifty, we don't even know if he's used his quirk yet." You surmise. "But, to be honest? He stuck the landing, so the odds are looking pretty well for him. Gosh, what are they feeding these kids?"

"Fried chicken."

Surprisingly, the underdog was indeed able to sustain his rank and claimed first place in the primary game. It was far more impressive given the fact that, as far as you saw, he didn't seem to make any use of a quirk. Even throughout the second game, a Calvary battle that team Todoroki emerged victorious in, he pursued his consistency of foregoing quirk usage, and that fact alone was enough to puncture your skin with a hook and reel any spectator in.

With the start of the final game, one-on-one duels, tension was already palpable in the air, though not only for the competitors but as well as the audience.

"Ten bucks that Tokoyami takes the dub?" Keigo offers as he shifts in his seat. He donned a yellow headband designed to resemble a chick that swept the blond tufts away from his concentrated face, the orange beak protruding from the soft fabric only making his paired expression more comical.

You slipped on a similar hair piece, only instead of a chick, yours was that of a purple kitten with small ears jutting out from the top.

With a moist sheet mask being extended in your direction, you readily accepted the skin care he offered to apply on your face. "Hell no, that's who I was gonna bet on." You reply, doing your best not to obstruct the way his fingers gently smooth over any visible wrinkles.

"Womp womp, you have to pick someone else now."

"Fuck off, fine." You grumble and once he completes the application of the mask on your face, your head moves to the screen displaying the remaining competitors. Gliding your irises across the faces of your many choices, your first thought is to select the first that catches your attention.

"Hitoshi Shinso," You declare and finalize your statement with a nod of your head. Placed into your hold was another mask doused in nourishing serum causing the refreshingly cool slime-like substance to coat the tips of your fingers. "Give me your face." You order and hold your hands out towards your companion.

Keigo obliges and leans into you with his eyes closed as his brows express his confusion. "What? Why that guy? He hasn't really done much to stand out or at the very least enough to gain your trust in his victory."

"Have you learnt nothing, child? Always root for the underdogs." You mentor the grown man as the pads of your fingers glide over the sheet to secure it onto his skin. Though, after you take a second to clear your throat, you hesitantly add, "...Also I like his purple hair. I think it's cool."

The two opponents set to fight the first match of the day have yet to show off their quirks or even utilize them in any capacity that would aid them in garnering attention. So, in that aspect, it'd be safe to assume that they could both be considered the 'underdogs' of the bunch; though the reason you had chosen the boy that you did was because the purple hair managed to grasp your attention with a tighter grip than the green did.

"First of all, no way you're going bashful over a guy who looks like he hasn't slept since he left the womb, and second, I never received the memo that I'm suddenly the apprentice." He mutters as he slumps back onto the back of the couch once you complete the application. "Also, since when have we been basing skillset off of hair? If that were the truth, I'd have better hair than you." He adds with the cross of his arms.

"I do have great hair, don't I?" You bask in the compliment before you realize the backhand he dealt it with, forcing you to use your actual back hand across his chest. Folding in on himself, he feigns a critical hit as if your blow held twice the power it actually had. "Asshole. Pay attention, it's starting." You chide, because you know you'd never hurt him. At least, not intentionally.

"Are you ready?! I know you are with all that's happened, but it's now come to this. A serious battle!" Mic almost spasms in his seat from the excitement buzzing around the stadium.

Your lips purse in thought, "If we're being realistic, I actually don't have a single clue as to who'll win this round. We don't know either of their quirks so it'll have to come down to what they pull out of their asses."

"That or whoever moves first."

"Of course you'd say that. Either way, I have a feeling this'll be a short match. Let's just hope it's interesting." You further your predictions as the screen displays the pair of boys in topic.

"Why does he look like he's about to shit his pants?" Keigo asks, scrutinizing the boy as if he had offended him personally.

"Maybe he is." You add with a shrug.

It was only when you inspected his face, as well as the front profile picture allowed you to at least, that you noticed something.

You don't know what it is about the green haired teen, perhaps the way his smile wobbled in the corners or the fact that his bottom lip never ceased to be nibbled on, but every time you glance at him, be it his picture or on the live broadcast, there was something in the back of your mind crawling its way to the forefront, fighting for its place to be heeded. It told you that you needed to know more — or furthermore, it solidified that there was more to be learned about.

But, don't get it twisted.

It wasn't a feeling that brought you intrigue or that conspired any interest, you didn't even want to find out just what it was that your subconscious whispered about. It triggered your flight or fight, it spoke of danger and treading in discretion.

It irked you.

"I've changed my mind. My money's on Midoriya."

"What?!" Keigo staggers at the abrupt switch of your tune, "The guy who desperately needs a toilet? Why?" He asks as his golden eyes narrow in suspicion.

"I uh, don't know." You replied, to which this earned you a dull stare from him. "I'm serious! I've just got a gut feeling."

"Okay..." He drew out the word, before a yawn purloined his attention and he finally slid his misty eyes away from your face. "Well, your womanly intuition is rarely ever wrong, so I'll take your word for it."

You doubted the fact that you were a woman had played any role in his observation, you were simply built different when it came to the guessing game — or, that's what you had thought.

After Midoriya's victory in the first round only worked to prove your decision correct, your thoughts on the extensively intricate boy solidified themselves into your mind. Like tightly woven floss creating knots in every one of your gyrus and sulcus.

"I didn't even notice that guy was in general studies." Keigo mentions. "How'd he make it this far when competing against kids who spend their days training?"

"It has to be his quirk, a powerful one at that. There's no way he worked this hard to earn a spot in the finals only to remain in general studies. This means he actually aims to be a hero, so that begs the question: why the hell isn't he in the hero course?"

Cupping his chin with his palm, Keigo leans his elbows onto his knees as he squints at the television screen. "His quirk doesn't seem very combat oriented." He surmises.

Nodding your head and mimicking his pose, you continue, "And given the events of the sports festival, I think it's safe to say that UA doesn't have their priorities quite straight if they let this diamond in the rough slip through their cracks."

"Ha!" Keigo cackles and slaps his knee, "It also means your womanly intuition was right, once again!"

"Does this mean you owe me ten bucks?" You tease slyly.

"Tut tut, slow your roll Speedy Gonzales. Speed is my thing." He wiggles a finger in your face, "The festival isn't over yet, I placed my bet on the finals."

"These are the finals."

"Well, the final finals."

In the midst of your eye roll, you notice a riveting detail you hadn't quite heeded before. "Wait a second... his fingers... they're broken." You utter in bewilderment.

The solemn faced boy stood before the opponent he had quickly defeated in the first round of the pivotal arc of the tournament, clutching his left hand as blood stained the skin beneath his nose.

You hummed in thought, "The purple haired guy must have had some type of hypnotizing quirk, right? So, finger destroyer kid must have destroyed his fingers which in turn must have destroyed some kind of connection that allowed the quirk to function. Like if you unplug your desktop from its PC."

Keigo's lips purse in thought as he looks at the ceiling, "That adds up, maybe pain breaks that connection. I wonder how it's formed in the first place, perhaps eye contact?"

You huff airily in amusement, "That would be too OP, I'd be glad he seems to be on the hero route."

"There's no such thing as too OP."

"There is when we live in a superhuman society. Especially so when you're in the work field that exercises what makes us super everyday."

"Okay, fine. You win."

The next match was between a dual toned Todoroki and Sero with a choppy haircut. This duel consisted of Sero wielding a strong start, but ultimately resulted in Todoroki brutally immobilizing the latter with an unnecessary amount of ice. Leaving you to wonder why the victor has yet to flaunt his flames if he truly had the ability to wield them.

Electricity and thorned vines engaged in a brisk battle, the last mentioned emerging victorious by thwarting an all or nothing attack. Following the rapid fight was a speedy hero and a clever support course student using her opponent to her advantage in an attempt to attract attention to her creations, providing you with a very comical display. And though you felt pity for the boy, the details on her interesting inventions occupied your attention far more.

Underwear was on display by the time the match between Mina Ashido and Yuga Aoyama had concluded, resulting in hysterical laughter erupting from the man beside you clutching his stomach.

"Mina Ash-ido." You drawl out the pinkette's name, the sound feeling foreign on your tongue. "She's got a nice quirk, it's lethal. Not to mention, did you see those moves she pulled?"

"Yup, she has great control of her body." Keigo comments as he sheds the mask on his face, rubbing the remaining residue into his skin gently. "Her quirk is impressive, but she didn't rely on it heavily, which can be a common rookie mistake." He adds onto your assessment.

"Wow, you sound professional for once-" You begun to compliment the man, before his hand gets shoved on your mouth.

"Shh! It's Tokoyami, this is who my bet is on. Y/N, shut up." He oh so eloquently exclaims.

"You do know that we're not actually betting, right? I'm not putting any of my money on kids I don't know-"

His palm moves to drape itself on your entire face, effectively halting your arguments.

"From the hero course, it's Fumikage Tokoyami! Versus, all purpose creation! She was admitted through recommendations, so her abilities are UA certified. From the hero course, it's Momo Yaoyaorozu!"

"Creating to your mind's extent? That's gonna be hard to beat." Keigo admits, finally ridding you of the burden of his large hand due to your adamant pawing at his skin.

You sputter at the relief and gingerly peel away at your mask as well, chucking it into the bin beside you. "Oh? Scared she's gonna be the demise of your precious hatchling?" You coo teasingly.

The blond scoffs, "Puh-lease, there is no match for a dark entity that inhabits your own body."

"Maybe so."

And he was right. Four hits was all it took for that entity to simply shove her out of bounds. With no time left to conjure up a path to her victory, all the teenager could have done was create a shield to protect her body, which was ultimately all for naught. Dejectedly, she accepted her defeat and slumped her way off of the concrete battle field, brows furrowed and arms clutched to her chest in shame.

"Ouch. That was hard to watch." You murmured to yourself. "I was actually rooting for her at one point."

Sensing that the next match would not end anytime soon, considering it consisted of metal and rock meeting in repeated punches and jabs, you take your tub of Vaseline from the coffee table and delicately apply the creamy substance onto your lips. Once finished, you hand the container over to Keigo and he mimics the steps you have just taken. After that was your eyelash and eyebrow serum that you expertly work into the fine hairs with much care.

Special attention to vanity came as second nature to you, it was hauled along with quirk and fitness training. The commission values public appearance and perception, fake smiles and flawless skin were almost always juxtaposed with the combat oriented skills that carved the tight muscles under your clothes; they were drilled into your youth.

It allowed for a gorgeous mask to the monsters they create. So yes, a requirement to slip into their mold as the ideal protégé is to be what society deems as attractive. Applying care to your appearance was as important as learning how to wield a blade.

Luckily, both came easy to both you and the man beside you.

"Okay, I'm gonna be honest. I can't tell if this is funny or boring." He says, "They just keep throwing punches and have the same reaction to each one."

"Well, who do you think is gonna win?"

"I don't know, it could be a tie but, what are the chances of that happening?" He ponders your question.

"One is from class A and the other is from class B so either way they're both from the hero course, but I'd say it's still a fifty-fifty chance."

His lips purse in thought, "Mmm, I don't know about that." Keigo says, which causes one of your brows to contort in interest.

"What do you mean?" You question.

"Well, the silver guy is metal, right? I'm not sure exactly what type of metal, but the fact still stands. Metal can be pretty sensitive if not taken care of properly."

As if a lightbulb was suddenly lit beneath your skin, your eyes light up in comprehension, causing you to think of possibilities you hadn't thought of before. "Then, I wonder if corrosion affects him as well. Salt water could be his biggest enemy. And what of the guy with the hardened skin? Is durability his only weakness or does his quirk bring along similar disadvantages?" You reflect.

"And both contestants are down! It's a draw! In this case, after they recover, they will be subjected to a simple contest in order to determine the true winner, like arm wrestling!" Midnight announces with her hand slicing the air.

"Never mind." Keigo deadpans.

"Well, at least we can be sure that the next won't end in a draw. There's no way zero gravity and explosion can knock each other out at the same time." You suggest.

"Yeowch, that's a face only a mother could love! It's Katsuki Bakugo versus, and she's the one I'm personally rooting for, Ochaco Uraraka! Eighth match, start!"

"Explosions and zero gravity, okay this could be interesting." Keigo determines. "And she seems to be making the first move."

"But, he still hasn't moved an inch. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. And for who..." You say.

Directly following your words, Bakugo emits a powerful blast from his palm, which projects Uraraka back to where she had originally started. Blast after blast, no matter what clever trick the pink cheeked girl plays on the scowling boy, she is persistently hit and takes the explosions with stride.

"I can barely see shit." Keigo says, squinting as if that would aid in his pursuit of better vision on the other side of the screen. Because of the continuous explosions, the smoke doesn't dissipate.

"I wonder if they can see each other, and if they can't, then who is that giving the disadvantage to?" You ask.

The fight continues and the view doesn't improve, forcing the both of you to begin to envy the people present at the event, or rather their advantage on point of view.

All of a sudden, a foreign voice was heard yelling from the stands, "Hey! How can you claim that you want to be a hero but then subject that poor girl to this torture?! If there's such a huge difference in your abilities, then hurry up and send her out of bounds! Stop being a mean bully!"

Resounding murmurs and yells of disapproval ignite in volume, telling with how the crowd agrees with the rando.

"What are they booing for?" Keigo groans, hating the prospect of not knowing what the hell was going on.

"I don't know, but I don't think she's passed out or else they'd have announced a winner... so why are they so quick to announce her defeat?" You murmur, not liking how he demeaningly he phrased the words 'poor girl'.

"And why is he whining like a toddler?" Keigo unnecessarily adds.

A deeper voice, noticeably not Present Mic's, spoke soon after, "Was that a Pro speaking just now? How many years have you been a Pro? Let me tell you something, if you're saying that with a straight face, there was no point in paying your entrance fee, pack up and go home. I'd suggest looking into a career change." The voice finished, effectively halting the ruckus that the stranger had caused.

"Oop, I know he's embarrassed."

"Bakugo is being relentless because he's acknowledged the strength of his opponent who has made it this far. It's because he's aiming to do everything he can to win that he can't go easy on her or let his guard down. In other words, your complaints are pointless."

The smoke begins to disperse and you can now see both opponents standing only a few feet away from each other. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, large boulders begin to cascade from high up in the sky. The rocks fall at a violent velocity, making a headway towards the concrete floor.

With a gasp, Keigo announces astonishingly, "It's like a meteor shower in real life!"

"You've never even seen a meteor shower in real life, Kei." You tease.

Just as it seemed as if Uraraka had a chance at catching the blond off of his guard, he aims and fires a massive explosion towards the sky, knocking away every single object heading his way and sending the creator of the meteor shower back to where she had started. And though she managed to lift herself in preparation for a counterattack, the impact must have harmed her more than the others had and she collapses onto the ground, using the last bit of energy she could muster to attempt to crawl before falling unconscious.

She's done.

"I'm still mad that I couldn't see shit for the majority of that one. They should have had better camera angles, doesn't UA have a high budget? It's practically non-existent." Keigo shakes his head in disappointment.

In the end, Bakugo emerged victorious and so the first round of eliminations concludes.

"You'll live." You tell him impassively. "Anyway, who do you think'll win this tie breaker? I'm thinking the red head."

"Mm," He hums as he seems to genuinely ponder the thought for a second longer, "I think the same."

"The winner is Kirishima! He advances onto the second round due to Tetsutetsu's defeat from metal fatigue!" Present Mic announces, proving Keigo's earlier point correct which he will surely be a menace about.

"Told your ass there had to be a downside to the metal." He proves your thought process correct.

"I literally agreed with you."

"The first match of the second round is an exciting one! Unlike the others..." The latter portion is muttered lowly, "The man who won a huge victory in the first round, quite literally leaving the audience frozen, from the hero course, Shoto Todoroki!"

"Man?" Your head cocks in curiosity, "I thought they were around my age?" You mention.

"Well yeah, but he's not gonna call him a boy." Keigo answers.

"Well, why not?"

"Well, because it would be insulting."

"Well, why is it insulting if it's the truth?"

"Well, because of our fragile masculinity."

"Bingo! I'm glad you're self aware, at least."

"On the other hand, this guy barely made it past the second round! Let's see what he'll pull out of his inventory this time, from the hero course, Izuku Midoriya!"

"Okay, for real this time," Keigo assures, "What do you think of this match?"

"Well, we haven't seen anything quirk related from Midoriya, ignoring his broken fingers from his last match since we have zero idea how that occurred, and from what we could tell, Todoroki is a very well rounded student. Whether this is another short match will depend entirely on what Midoriya demonstrates." You judge.

"Ding ding ding! Correct again, my pupil. It also depends on their limits as well, whether they're physical or quirk related, they've both got them. Since we haven't figured out finger breaker's quirk, I'd say his lean on the physical side. I'm just wondering what're Zuko's." He builds on.

Humming to yourself, you use the opportunity to voice a question that has been teetering the edge of your mind. "I've been wondering, did Todoroki inherit Endeavor's quirk at all? All I've seen is ice, which I'm assuming is from his mother." You ask, before a sudden chortle escapes your lips involuntarily, "Which is kind of ironic. What are the chances of fire Mario and Elsa falling in love?"

He ponders your question for a second, before surrendering and rendering himself as useful as ever, "Now that you mention it, I don't know."

"Start!"

Present Mic's highly pitched screech acted as the push to start for both boys, Todoroki being the first to move and conjure up splinters of his icicles heading directly towards his opponent, giving the illusion that a hasty match is in the cards for the dual toned boy. Seconds away from being frozen where he stood, Midoriya avoided the attack by shattering the ice and hurling it back to its creator. Gusts of winter air fill the stadium, hugging person to person, effectively tussling hair and drying eyes.

"He mirrored his attack?" You utter questioningly.

"His finger," Keigo notices, "It's broken again."

"So, he negated it... with just a flick of his finger?" You ask dubiously, your eyes squinted in apprehension.

"Finger blaster." Keigo whispers in suspense.

Your head shakes with confusion, "That means, it's his quirk that hurts him. The same thing happened earlier, which means he has no control over whether it hurts him or not. Can he not manage the power output? If not, then that was an all or nothing attack, which means-"

"It's all he's got." Keigo finishes your sentence.

Astonished and baffled all at once, you breathily broach, "It's almost as if he's a toddler with a newly developed quirk..."

"Time traveler?" Keigo offers.

"Honestly, that's more believable than developing a quirk in your teens."

Hit after hit, the same attack and defense commences, and each time the pair of boys end up a closer proximity than before. Broken fingers being pushed to their limits, knuckles crunching with force, and alizarin crimson ejecting in streams. Little by little, the young aspiring hero protégé Todoroki exhausts himself, that fact not going unnoticed by you.

Sinking into the couch, you scrutinize the screen before you, "Huh, he's slower, almost sluggish in his movements. I'm guessing Midoriya isn't the only one giving all or nothing."

"Those powerful attacks must be taking their toll on his body."

You hum in agreement, "Which is to be expected. After all, having enhanced tolerance for low temperatures doesn't mean that you're completely immune to their effects."

Whether because of the mention of glacial temperatures or the AC directly above your seats, Keigo's velvet wings subconsciously huddle closer to his body, offering their unwavering warmth. "Finger blaster kid might be able to predict his attacks now."

Prodigious flames emit from the taller boy, exuding light that almost blinds you. "He's using his fire." You whisper, almost as if afraid one exhale would make it all disappear.

"Well, there's our answer, I guess. I just wonder why he didn't use it before." Keigo says just as mesmerized.

"Perhaps he felt he didn't need to."

Fire and ice against what seemed to be powerful wind currents was set to destroy both opponents, though luckily, UA bore some safety precautions. Pro hero Cementoss held no hesitation when creating his signature wall of cement in an effort to nullify the powerful explosion the teens would surely create with the combination of their quirks.

Unfortunately, not even the wall of cement was enough to halt the attacks, because though it minimized the effects, the Pro Hero did not succeed in neutralizing them.

"Jeez, I can't see a thing! Hey, who won the match?!" Present Mic asks Midnight who was still recovering from the explosion.

Green unveils itself from within a layer of thick billowing steam that envelopes the stadium, and there stands Midoriya, bruised and battered, on wavering legs that fail to uphold his weight before long.

"Midoriya is out of bounds!" She exclaims, "Todoroki advances to the third round!" Her palm slices through the air once again, finalizing the results.

Picking your jaw up off the ground for the umpteenth time, you sit taken aback at the outcome of the stress inducing match.

The next couple of matches were a blur, with some spent consoling the man beside you when his favorites would bear the short end of the stick. Todoroki vs. Bakugo was the grand finale, and while it had looked to be in the dual toned boy's favor at one point, it came as a surprise to many when he willingly allowed himself to act as Bakugo's Howitzer practice dummy. The blond emerges victorious, much to his dismay, as the first place winner of this year's annual sports festival.

His bite was indeed as strong as his bark, and what a loud bark that was. The Pro's resulted to restraining his body to a thick pillar of cement, with his mouth muzzled by a decently sized slab of metal.

"Yikes, that is not pretty. I wonder how hard it was to even get him in those things." You winced.

"He looks like he has rabies." Keigo tilts his head in inspection. "And a face only a mother could love..."

"Anyway, is it just me or are these first years very different from the usual. Like, weird kind of built different." You question.

Crossing his arms and facing you entirely, he ponders your question for a moment, "Do you think it has to do with the quirk singularity theory?" He offers.

Mimicking his motions, you shake your head, "I don't know. Either that, or there's something in their food."

Keigo chuckles at the thought, "Har Har, that's funny, but speaking of food~"

Rolling your eyes, you dramatically belly flop yourself into his lap and groan tragically at the mention of a topic very sensitive to yourself. "Kei, I will literally die if I have to eat protein shakes and avocado for lunch again." You whine, and you turn yourself to face him with the best puppy dog eyes you could conjure. "I'm craving ramen, real ramen, can't we sneak some of that for once?"

Unfortunately due to your tedious meal preps, you're only allowed to indulge in a small portion of your chow desires, and strictly during dinner time. Though, since being allowed to move in with the man before you, you've had a fair amount of leeway. 'What the commission doesn't know, won't hurt them.' is what Keigo always says.

"Do you want take out?"

"To be honest, homemade ramen is perfectly fine. As long as I can choose the toppings myself. We have some, right?"

"I think we should, it's probably old though, are you sure ramen is fine? That's kind of basic, no? I can order anything you want."

As you mull your response over in your mind, your lips pursing in thought, Kitty's soft paws came padding down the stairs. It seems she has awoken from her nap and decided it wouldn't be too much of a hassle to join you both once again. Taking her rightful spot on your lap, you bury your fingertips into her fur as she shifts herself to fit her own comfort.

You hum softly, "Yeah, ramen sounds perfect."

And you meant it, the thought of such a mundane activity with both Keigo and Kitty, still in your matching sleepwear, not worrying about whether your actions were at the approval of the higher ups, sounds like your personal heaven. It was as if you were but a mere civilian who never bore the burden of reoccurring nightmares and visits from demons of slumber.

Keigo knew that as well, which was why he so readily agreed to your request. He understood, just like he always had.

Going about your day and savoring the sweet taste of rare normalcy caused all thoughts of class 1A and the sports festival to appear as nothing more than dark shadows in the back of your mind. Blissfully ignorant as you were about the leaden presence hovering above what seemed to be such a bleak future, and the significant impact your soul would have to brace for.

What is it that you would find, and what was it that you would have to sacrifice to have a future at all?

There wasn’t much happening this chapter, but the next should move the story along much more.

- arlo <3

[anton-luvr]

wonbin sfw alphabet plz.

love your work 🤍

# SFW ALPHABET ; WONBIN edition.

⚝ bf!wonbin x gn!reader | fluff | bf au ⚝ note ; thank you anon! hope you like it <3 also this was so requested like ?? to the other 4 anons who requested for this too, enjoy :)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Wonbin is very affectionate. But not in a kiss-you-till-your-face-falls-off kinda way, but by holding your hand whenever and whenever he can and pressing kisses all over your face while he calls you his pretty angel <3

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He would be the calmest best friend ever. You could be furious, ranting to him about the beef you have with a classmate and he would be like "Oh. That's crazy :|" He's not ignoring you, he's just chill like that. The friendship would start from being assigned as partners in a class project, because Wonbin doesn't like making new friends on his own.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves cuddling! He wants to be as close as possible with you, and his favorite way to cuddle is to have his entire body wrapped against yours.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Wonbin definitely wants to settle down, but only after your relationship becomes more serious. He's not the best at cooking, but he tries! (keyword: tries) Trust that he'll always keep your place spick and span.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would be so cold... he'll even seem emotionless as he tells you that he thinks it's for the best if you both break up, calmly giving you his reasons why and walking away on good terms.

F = Fiancé (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Wonbin's a bit hesitant when it comes to commitment. He'll give you his all while you're dating of course, but he's not sure where he stands on marriage- he's only 21 after all.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's so so so so gentle :( he's always gentle with you, because the last thing he'd ever want to do is to accidentally hurt the love of his life. And whenever you need someone to talk to, Wonbin is already waiting with open arms.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it?)

He loves hugs!! He does it whenever he can, and he loves back hugs the most. It's just so convenient, because he can hug you that way even while you're cooking or when you're getting ready for classes in the morning.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Wonbin's love language is more on acts of service and quality time, so he'll be quite slow to tell you he loves you. Instead, he prefers to show you his love through cleaning your apartment for you, doing the laundry, and planning a vacation for the both of you <3

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Compared to the rest of the members, I think Wonbin gets easily jealous. He'll get all sulky and petty, making sure you know how upset he is by replying sarcastically to you. If you need help opening a jar, he'd go "Oh, why don't you go ask that guy you were talking to instead?" and fold his arms with a pout. But once you reassure him that he's the only boy that matters to you, he'll be immediately happy again.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are so... deep. He takes it slow, love radiating off of each move of his soft lips against yours. Even if he's running late for work, he'll kiss you for a minimum of five minutes first. He likes to kiss your lips, and he likes it when you kiss his lips too <3

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Wonbin is great with children. He automatically becomes their new best friend, squeezing himself behind the sofa to play hide and seek and gasping dramatically when they find him. His energy levels are high too, so he can go on running around and playing with them for hours on end.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Lots of cuddling and sleepy mumbles of 'I love you's. He'll rest his head in the crook of your neck, pressing soft kisses there for as long as he can till he has to get out of bed.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Lots of cuddling too, but with him as the little spoon this time. Wonbin's scared of the dark, so he needs to be in your safe and secure embrace to fall asleep :(

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Wonbin would take his time. He's quite closed up because of his fears and personal worries, so he needs to make sure you're someone he can fully put his trust in first. Once you gain his trust, he'll open up to you bit by bit.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He doesn't get angrily easily, but he gets annoyed more often instead. If someone cut his line at the grocery store or he gets served by a rude waiter, he'll roll his eyes and glare at them for a while.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Wonbin remembers everything about you and everything you tell him. He's very attentive, so he remembers everything you tell him - even if it's something insignificant, like complaining about the pothole you bumped over on the way home. He'll surprise you when he texts you 'be careful of the pothole! see you later <3' the next day when you're on your way home.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Wonbin's favorite memory was when he first opened up about his fears to you. He's quite embarrassed by them, but to see you accept him and support him with zero judgment made him feel so loved and so relieved.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

Wonbin is very protective. If you're going out somewhere, he makes you promise to update him time to time on where you are, just for safety reasons. If you have to work overtime, Wonbin will drive up to your workplace to bring you home. It's a scary world out there, and he doesn't want anything to happen to you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He always puts in his 100%. He doesn't hesitate to splurge on these things too, personalizing each date, anniversary, and gift so it'll all be something for you to remember fondly on and love for years to come. In terms of everyday tasks, he might slack sometimes, but he gets them done by the end of the day.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Somedays, Wonbin just wants to lie in bed and watch YouTube for the whole day. You understand he's tired and he definitely deserves the rest, but sometimes he goes to the extent of not wanting to eat. You have to drag him from the bed and force him to eat. It's a bad habit he's had for years, so he'll need some time to break it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Wonbin's not really concerned with his looks - he's already naturally drop-dead gorgeous. He just keeps his basic hygiene, does a sheet mask once in two weeks, and works out twice a week to stay presentable.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Very much. Wonbin's a very clingy lover, so when he's without you, he'll feel so empty and sad.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Wonbin plans the cutest dates ever. He spends a lot of time on his phone, so he often comes across posts about cute parks or interesting museums that he's sure you'll love. He does a lot of research too, making sure there are things that you'll be interested in and cafes nearby to bring you to.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Wonbin hates it when people push his boundaries, especially when it's related to his fears. He'll instantly shut down and end the relationship, regardless if it was a family member or a friend.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Wonbin sleeps like a koala bear. He has to be in contact with you somehow, be it his arms wrapped around your neck or his longs legs tangled with yours or his head resting on your arm.

© anton-luvr, 2023.

taglist: @wonbons @mxlly143 @keehobaldboy @shawyle @yenart

[jules-writes-stories]

Held Close, Like a Secret

Azrisweek | Day 6 | Changes

Dedicated to one of my all time favorite Azris writers @futurehunt

Read full story on AO3 | 6k

“I guess you are too chilled to race after all. It is fine if you forfeit, bat. I am uniquely aware of how sensitive your wings can be. I’ll just winnow us—.” Before Eris could finish his sentence, Azriel’s wings snapped open to their full span, a cool wind drifting over the fireling.

“The only rule: if you winnow, it has to be in single spurts. You can’t just winnow back to the bottom,” Azriel said.

Eris nodded. “Fair.”

“Also, loser has to do whatever the winner says. For the entire night.” Azriel's eyes gleamed wickedly, as he took in the Autumn male's red hair peaking beneath his fur lined hood, to his beautiful face in the moonlight, and down his lithe form.

“Deal.” Eris said, with the confidence of a male who knew he was going to win. “Are you ready?”

Az nodded. “First one back to the cabin wins.”

His wings were raised and ready, knees bent. Azriel was certain he’d win. The wind would practically carry him down the mountain. And Eris, only allowed short spurts of winnows, would have to traverse most of the rocky terrain on foot. Even his High Fae speed couldn’t compete with Illyrian wingspan.

“Ready… and go!” Azriel took flight immediately, gaining an altitude where he could keep an eye on the fireling, but still beat him. The Autumn male was liable to fall down the mountain in the darkness. The Shadowsinger would probably wind up saving his life.

But when he looked down, there was no sign of Eris. Had he already fallen? Did he cheat and winnow back? Where was the male? A sudden flash of movement caught his eye. Azriel almost missed it...

Please lmk if you ever want on/off the 🏷️ .

@molcat07 @pippsmcgee @chunkypossum @fieldofdaisiies @christeak @the-darkestminds @azrisweek @hieragalbatorixdottir @c-starstuff-man0

[icycoldninja]

Fluffcember #23 (Astarion x reader)

Fluff headcannons

-Gives you sass all the time, always talking back and making comments even in serious situations. Heck, if you're in the middle of a wine-spurred argument, he'll still make some smartass quips and manage to lighten the mood, effectively ending the argument because you're now on the floor, laughing like a maniac.

-Loves to gossip with you about everyone and everything, from what that guy next door is doing in his yard at 8:00 A.M. to why that cashier he saw at Walmart kept making eyes at her male coworker.

-Watches lots of drama like K-dramas, C-dramas and things like that. Also keeps up with all the celebrity news and Kpop idol scandals.

-Since he doesn't have a reflection, he relies on you to do his hair, even though he's managed to do it himself for 200 years, he still likes having you do it. It's relaxing.

-Enjoys being pampered, but likes to be pampered with you more. Going to a salon together, getting face masks and your nails done while just chilling out, flipping through magazines together? That's his kind of heaven.

-Elves don't sleep (unless you feed them narcotics or use tranquilizers on them, then they sleep) but Astarion learned to sleep for your sake. Humans have relatively short life spans compared to elves, and they spend 1/3 of that already short lifespan sleeping, so in order to spend as much time as possible with you, he learned to take meditative rest to an entire new level and sleep.

-Physical touch is a tad new to him (he isn't used to it), so things start slow; hand holding is as far as things go for a while, but give him time, and he'll start hugging you, kissing you, and allowing himself to be kissed and cradled.

-Once that happens, prepare to become Astarion's personal seat. Whenever he gets a chance, he'll plop himself right in your lap, hook his arms around your shoulders, and rest his sweet little head in the crook of your neck, ready to be snuggled. Failure to comply will result in the pouty treatment; a procedure during which Astarion will pout at you in the saddest, most heart-melting-est way possible until you relent.

-Will take you with him to go stargazing or to just hang out at night--if you're a night owl, then this dude is perfect for you because 75% of his activity takes place during nighttime.

-But no matter what the situation, Astarion enjoys just spending time with you, because he loves you a little more than he loves himself. 😉

[bingodotorg]

Precious Iris

Ship: Zombie!Ruby/Leon

Description: Leon sucks at puzzles so much even his zombie stalker decided to be chill for once and just see what happens, out of curiosity.

Tags: Canon/OC. Human/Zombie. Ruby is basically Mr X. Manic Pixie Nightmare. Possible OOC Leon.

TW: RE typical gore. RE typical stalking. Soft Necrophilia (Zombie). Suicidal thoughts but in a…Ruby way. The stupidest puzzle you have ever read.

WC: 1176

Having these games and puzzles in these places was always a bit of a confusing concept to Leon. So many intricate mechanisms for things that could just have a…lock. It honestly sometimes feels as if someone is watching him through some hidden cameras and just wants to see him suffer through these veiled tasks. This was one of those tasks.

It seemed like he needed to insert the right gem into a slot in the wall, in order to open a door. He was able to find gems around the area, so that part was over. Now the problem was…he didn’t know which one to use. The only clue he had was a piece of paper that was as vague as words on paper could be. 

“The colors of fear and desire Her dream is his nightmare”

To say that these sentences mean absolutely nothing to him is putting it lightly. He looked around, nearly turned the whole office upside down trying to find something else but no…this the only clue he had.

As Leon suddenly hears loud breathing near his ear, he looks back to see…Ruby. God, she always sounded out of breath. He’s not sure if he should be creeped out or flattered at this point.

This monster was following him right as he entered the building. She seemed more aware than most but also more dangerous because of it. No sane person would choose this life willingly, but she decided that being controlled by immediate desires is better than…whatever she did before. She saw liberation in rotting and there are not a lot of things that can stop someone with nothing to lose.

This is the first time he was so close to her without being attacked. Ruby was genuinely curious about what he was doing, to the point of ignoring him as a target. Even when he looked back at her, she didn’t try to bite, just waited for his next move.

- Um…hi.

He said, a bit awkwardly, getting a rotten, sharp smile in return.

Leon still wasn’t sure if she would stay like this or suddenly lunge at him, but he couldn’t really do anything for now…only wait and see. Leon looked at the note in his hand again but reading suddenly became a bit harder, as he felt her get closer, bending down, trying to read it too. Her eyes darted around but it seemed like they weren’t really focusing on the words, as if she’s acting like she reads to fit in.

- Can you even read?

Leon asked in a slightly mocking tone. She shook her head which pushed a chuckle out of him. The unreadable scribbles on paper bored her pretty quickly and she approached the office table next to him to jump on it and sit down. 

He would still glance at her from time to time, making sure that she’s sitting in one place. Everytime she moved he would watch her closely only to see her do something dumb instead of attacking him. 

In the span of 10 minutes she managed to:

1) Start beef with the vending machine

As he was looking at the door, she suddenly came over and poked him in the shoulder. Leon shuddered but gave her the attention she was asking for.

- What?

Ruby points at the vending machine standing in the office and Leon doesn’t get what she wants to say until she makes the “money” motion with her fingers.

- I doubt it works

The machine had an obvious indent and the lights weren’t even working but it didn’t stop Ruby, as she let out a growl. Fearing for his life, Leon pulled out a coin out of his wallet and passed it to her.

He was right, the machine didn’t work. The coin just fell into the slot, without giving anything in return. Ruby was less than happy as she started shaking the thing, making Leon watch her again as there’s no way he’s getting anything done with all this noise.

2) Do circles on a chair with wheels that then fell over.

Leon tries to hold in a laugh as he sees Ruby smack her face against the floor.

- You alright?

He asked, mostly out of habit. He doubts that something so minor will have lasting damage on the already rotting body. She shows him the okay sign.

3) Hide a gem and watch Leon try to find it.

It ended up being on the highest shelf, of course.

- Don’t do this to me.

Leon sighs, dreading the moment he will have to stand on a chair to reach it. Ruby doesn’t say anything, only smiling in return.

4) Stand WAY TOO CLOSE.

The more ridiculous things she did, the more he became accustomed to her presence. Leon even got comfortable enough to sit down by the table and start writing down his own notes as he analyzed the clue and thought about where he found each gem. Ruby couldn’t stay in place for long but she would sit on the table he was working on to watch the man…in between doing dumb shit.

As she layed on the table and Leon glanced at her once again, something suddenly clicked.

- Wait…Is this about you?

He realized, looking up at her. Ruby sat up straight, with a widened eye, she was as surprised as he was. Leon got up and grabbed her face as she growled in response, trying to slightly move away but also not fighting it full on. 

- I need to see something.

She sat still with a confused look as he analyzed her eyes. He slightly opened her eyelids with his fingers, as her left eye was permanently squinting. Behind the rainbow glint of spilled oil he could see the blue sky peaking through. 

He picked up the shattuckite gem, the one that reminded of the ocean mixed with oil. As he puts it in place, he hears a click but…nothing happens. 

- Is it stuck?

Leon whispers to himself and approaches the door. He pulled on the handle, but nothing happened. He decided to try and push it with his shoulder, hoping that this will somehow trigger the mechanism to work.

Ruby silently watched him but then noticed that there’s another slot that Leon didn’t see. She approached the gems laid out on the table and glanced at him once again, trying to notice a glint of color in his detriment squint. She took the blue beryl in her hand and twisted it around, watching it glint under the ceiling lights. Ruby placed this gem into the slot, which triggered the door to open right away, causing Leon to fall onto the other side. 

As he started to get up, he looked back to see Ruby just…standing there, in the entrance, watching him. He could see, no, feel, her eyes change. She was watching him like a hunter, ready to pounce at any second. Just being under her for a brief moment evoked something. As Leon heard her neck crack, he knew the chase was on.

[windrunner]

okay. ame plush photo dump so i can look at them when i don't have my phone. i should have brought his little boyfriend and made them kiss but i didn’t have time to grab both of them from the house b/c i was so busy ;; maybe day after tmrw when we go back….

ame welcomes u into the house and the kitchen. offers u tea. i put him on the stove and he was tasty. many such cases!

i love these old fashioned kitchens and i LOVE the tv in the kitchen alongside the "spacesaver" can opener. i'm a retro bitch what can i say.... god he's so cute on the windowsill here look at himmmm AUGH

i had a LOT of fun dangling him over the edge of the loft. didn’t actually drop him b/c i didn’t wanna piss anyone off but. i wanted to. i really wanted to

laughed hard taking these and i have a video of me up on the loft zooming in slowly on him like a horror movie. my creature. my bug. pest infestation found footage

relaxing on one of the cool chairs + pretending like we’re playing chess on the combo chess + backgammon board (neither of us would have the attention span for it i think)

my amoeba chilling once again in the (former) guest living room. i have a zoom in video of this and once again it's the funniest shit ever 2 me. idk. i love him so much. truly

finally... ame with a blender that is older than me and that still works Really well??? baffling. i'd put him in it as jokes but if he got hurt for real i'd cry and sob. we then went out to dinner!

[yuexuan]

[Review] 反派只想做咸鱼 The Villain Just Wants to be a Salted Fish

Title: 反派只想做咸鱼 The Villain Just Wants to be a Salted Fish

Author: 夕朝南歌

Length: 134 chapters + 3 extras

Tag: transmigration, showbiz, fluff

Summary [taken from novel updates]:

Ye Zexi transmigrated as the big villain in a danmei novel, who shares the same name as him. Then, he found out that everyone regards him as an imaginary enemy.

In this regard, he adheres to only one principle: Don’t want to fight, take everything you want.

In the boy group’s audition show:

The team member wanted to take the C [Center] position from Ye Zexi.

Ye Zexi took the initiative to withdraw for the sake of being lazy.

The team member was complacent and thought that Ye Zexi had stage fright and the team member was determined to win.

After the performance, Ye Zexi took first place.

Team member: ?

The instructor asked everyone about their purpose to join the competition.

Other contestants: Dreams, because we love the stage!

Ye Zexi: In order to go home and inherit the family property.

Other contestants: ???

Unexpectedly, not only did Ye Zexi fail to be lazy, he also became more popular.

Novel | Novel[translated]

Comments **Contain spoilers**:

A simple fluffy story about how Ye Zexi (MC) transmigrated into a novel as a second-generation wealthy villain by the same name. Having worked his ass off in his previous life, Ye Zexi dreamt of inheriting the villain’s family wealth and living a carefree life thereafter. All of this came to a startling halt when he realized that his ‘father’ had frozen his cards, forcing him to pick up his old trade as a celebrity. 

Much to everyone’s  - except his own - surprise, Ye Zexi outshone the other celebrities, making a name for himself. In the course of doing so, he attracted the attention of the star actor and the main gong of the novel: He Jinyun (ML). 

This is a pretty entertaining read if you are looking for something fluffy and that doesn't require a lot of - if any - brainpower. The storyline is the standard transmigration story where MC accidentally attracted the love interest of the novel’s gong, replacing the original shou, and their slice of life thereafter. 

As such, there is a surprising lack of drama. Characters that present themselves as possible love rivals (e.g., Tang Jing) or family obstacles (e.g., Yan Man / Ye Haoyan) turn out to be pretty chill characters that are easily swayed by the MC’s charisma. The only real antagonist is ML’s father He Xiu who wanted the main couple to separate, but even that little conflict got blown over in the span of 1-2 chapters, as there is nothing much the father could do to public figures such as MC and ML.

If you are into a happy-go-lucky MC and a doting ML, with just sweet fluff and no conflicts (only mild misunderstandings), this might be up your ally!

[mikailys]

F: Am I disturbing you, by any chance?

i see this goddamn man and i lose it istg i want to punch him so bad.

i was trying to catch up with hsl on my other acc where i'm following nath's route and i saw the devil. i just hoped to never see him again in-game and yet here we are.

and oh my. wasn't i lucky enough to meet him again not once, but twice in the same episode, in the span of 5 minutes.

i'll just do a rant about this part of the episode because it's unbelivable that this is the only part i got covered before my ap brutally finished i only wanted the illus :(

also sorry if i'm being inaccurate in certain parts but i got back into the game recently and probably forgot some background info/context.

F: Nathaniel has always wanted to study Engineering at University.

N: *not very amused by it – comprehensibly*

i had no idea that during hsl ep40 he would attend the graduation ceremony – or maybe he did and nvm i don't remember it i mean it's been 5 years since i've last played it – and he had the guts to still impose himself and talk about nath like that. after everything that happened and with all the parents, kids and professors around?

god. like haven't you learned anything, have you, dumb fuck?

N: I have to stop by my parents' house because I need to take some stuff. But seeing how the wind is blowing, I don't really want to go there alone.

another thing i wouldn't have imagined is that we would actually go back to this old house. i can only predict where this is heading.

N: This house holds only bad memories.

C: Don't worry. I'm with you.

N: Yeah, thanks God. *cutely smiles*

bambolottino che sei ti abbraccio patatino cucciolino :(

and then we enter into his house and meet – again, unfortunately – that amazing person his dad is, who is never, ever satisfied and he can kindly go fuck off for as far as i'm concerned.

F: What was that foolish act you delight us with during the ceremony? (...) You understood very well. I'm talking about your speech. We have come to expect the best from you.

C: (Nathaniel takes a deep breath, to handle his increasing anger)

F: I wonder if you have anything left of what we taught you to make such a scene.

N: Dad, you really want to talk about what you taught me?

exactly f-word, do we wanna talk about what you and your lovely wife taught him? to always achieve perfection? to be scared to walk through the front door and spend the evening at the dining table with his family? cause, believe me, i wouldn't be so proud.

i guess we have different ideas about these so-called "teachings" you two gave him then.

anyway we leave with nath and then the most incredible thing happens. our soon-to-be father-in-law – omg bless candy's soul – calls us thieves. lol.

it's pure comedy at this point.

F: Don't play the innocent. I caught you in the act, you're peeking around. It's a hobby, right? For you to just stick your nose where you shouldn't.

well first i'm pissed you're thinking i'm a thief and second, i'm even more pissed because you're kinda right, snooping in people's business is actually candy's job so can't really argue on that.

C: I wonder what could I even stole in this house.

F: I don't know. You tell me. *damn chill bro*

C: Maybe your house is very big, but it lacks of the most important things.

anyway it's so funny that in italian - the language i'm playing the game in - he just keeps using the formal pronouns and i say it's funny because it seems like that behind his serious tone he's constantly trying to mock us in a kinda patronizing way.

but we're the bigger person and, even if i'm seething we can't be too unpolite to him, so we just tell him that his house sucks because there's no love within its walls.

politest person ever.

but spoiler he doesn't take it very well.

anyway to sum it up, he just says candy is responsible for nath's sudden change and for making himself look ridiculous in front of the whole school.

obviously we don't support any nathaniel's slander, for now, and we are ready to take over this insane situation by praising our bf who was right down the hallway, listening to this all madness.

N: None of this will make me look better in my father's eyes.

damn. that kinda hit close to my home too

after this argument we leave since we're good to go. but on the doorstep we're blocked by the best of wives and best of women (derogatory) who, unexpectedly, wants us to stop by and celebrate the graduation with the family – oh my.

okay i'm not gonna lie but for a millisecond i felt bad for adelaide. only a millisecond 'cause then i quickly regained consciousness.

i appreciate she's understanding the situation and that she still cares about her son wellbeing – in some twisted way – but i cannot excuse she was an accomplice to her husband's mistreating and beating and the fact she wouldn't report any of it if it wasn't for candy it's gutwrenching.

regardless, nath doesn't want to spend another minute in that house – understandably. when they're about to leave, adelaide takes candy by her arm and tells her to please keep an eye on his son and we, taken by an unusual kindness, accept, encouraging her to pay him a visit.

how sweet candy is.

just like a candy i'm so sorry but it was served on a silver plate

and after that we're done. nath takes us back to our home and asks us if the day after we want to go to his place, since we have never been there before – which it takes me by surprise cause i can't believe you two have been together for almost 14 episodes and you have never found a moment to go to his house before.

candy tells him that first she has to ask to his parents – but we already know she will go cause they have to do the deed – and that's all cause i finished my ap right after this dialogue :|

this ep with the new – not very new now but for me it still is – ap mechanic is exhausting. 550 ap just to fight with nath's parents really did the thing and i still couldn't finish the ep.

to think i still have to continue university life and start love life haha...

anyway to conclude: fuck nath's parents 🖕🏻

[grumpycakes]

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO CONT.

DAY 4 • October 20, 2023 • Third Vote, bye bye Jordan

< Previous (Day 3 Oops No Vote)

HOOO BOY MY DUDES.

So for some reason they planned this vote at 10am (cause they hate the west coasters??? Oh. Oh wait yeah, they probably wanted to make it more inconvenient so people want to get it done.)

Also C-Span hecked up??? And didn’t come on till a bit into ten and while the ALTERNATE CHAPLIN WAS ALREADY PRAYING.

This guy is NOT NICE CHILL LADY CHAPLIN. He sounds chill, but he said shit about "We need more of you (God)," and "[Lord] Lead us in your will." which again AGAIN. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE. AT LEAST nice Lady Chaplin asks god to lead us for what is best for the people. WHERE IS OUR NICE LADY CHAPLIN.

They do the pledge and then do their "Call of the House" (head count buzz in to make sure they have a Quorum/majority of the reps). This also serves to find out what the total number is to base the needed votes for a majority. This is why they let the timer lapse around as long as it was going, to make sure they have all the votes possible for better chances at getting majority.

C-Span actually had journalist/reporters going today??? Which they hadn't all week. But good info was had that I'll add in the takeaways. Made me jump tho during roll call rofl.

We hear that one Republican is out on a """Fact Finding Mission to Israel""" and he is one that votes Jordan so, not great for that. Apparently NORMALLY there are 435 seats for a majority of 218 votes needed, but there's been 2 vacancies so that's why it's been 433. 2 Democrat Representatives are out (V. Gonzales and Payne, no word why but not really an issue). Roll ends with 427 Present (Which would mean 214 to have a majortiy but by final vote it was 429 votes, so really only 4 ppl MIA instead of 6 and 215 needed)

SPEECHES

lolol So McCarthy gave this nomination speech for Jordan and like, I know they don't hate each other but I hope that hurt.

Says, contrary to Dem talking points, Jordoran is an effective legislator (WHICH GETS FUCKING LAUGHTER, AMAZING)

Continues that the Speakership is about compromise and working long hours to get it done (implying Jordan can and has done these things) GETTING MORE LAUGHTER AND CHATTER and McHenry even fucking calls us to order about it lol

"Democrats are attacking Jim" because they don't want secure borders (my dude it is YOUR PARTY not electing him)

Called Jordan selfless (DOUBTFUL)

Quotes people who worked with or under him (stupid and ofc only the good ones)

Goes into an example of Jordan and like, man I hate the way McCarthy speaks/tells stories/way he talks. Grates on my nerves

We've got a job to do (yeah, yet you seem incapable so far)

Does more Jabs at democrats cuase he's exhausting and desperate to blame anyone but his party

BLessedly not the longest but still annoying

Clark, Rep of Massachussets is here to give us a speech (OOOooo she's new to me)

Blah blah 212 consistently, we rock and are united

Republicans are disconnected from the people

Pointed out Jordan voted against healthcare for Mothers, chlidren, elderly and Veterans (haha which got angry dissent noises, sucks to suck)

Also notes he voted against lowering the cost of insulin multiple times

That he's a reproductive healthcare extremist

Reminds us Jordan's an election denier, misinformation spreader, and a threat to our democracy

American people want us to work for them and re-open the house, but the republicans keep fighting each other instead

blissfully short and with a good pace and snappy delivery, I like you Clark

The fucking dems started chanting Jeffries name again and this time McHenry tried to gavel them back to order but tHEY STARTED CHANTING LOUDER FASTER TILL THEY DEVOLVED INTO CHEERING. and Honestly, go off since you have to keep coming back to this bs

VOTING COMMENCES 429 Present • 215 To win •

Jordan can only lose 3 votes

NOTABLE VOTES (key: *change in voing, + same as last vote)

Bacon - McHenry * (Voted for McCarthy last vote, AND WE'RE OFF)

Bilirakis - Jordan +

Bost - MIA/Votes Jordan on recall

Buchannon - Donalds + (-2 votes)

Buck - Emmer + (-3 Jordan can't lose any more votes)

Chavez-DeRemer - McHenry* (-4 murmuring from crowd cause Jordan has lost)

Cohen - "For the 18th time Jeffries" (gets laughter about it)

Conolly - Did his long sentence for Jeffries

D'Esposito - Zelden + (someone tried to clap about it rofl)

Diaz-Balart - Scalise +

Elllsey - Mike Garcia +

Ferguson - Scalise +

Fitzpatrick - McHenry* (NEW DEFECTOR WEE WOO WEE WOO)

Fox - MIA/Votes for Jordan on recall

Garbarino - Zelden +

Gimenez -McCarthy + (loll one of the few that doesn't switch to McHenry)

Gonzales (T) - McCarthy +

Gonzales (V) - MIA/does not vote on recall

Granger - Scalise +

Hunt - MIA/does not vote on recall

Isa - Votes for Jordan but is standing in the democrat side, so the house is temporarily confused at a vote for jordan coming from there, laughter ensues)

James - Donalds* (Voted for Candace Miller of MI last time)

Hearty cheers when Jeffries votes for himself, lack luster cheers and polite clapping when Jordan votes for himself

Kean NJ - McCarthy (NEW DEFECTOR WEE WOO WEE-)

Kelly PA - Scalise* (Oh we decided against Boehner this time???)

Kiggans - McHenry* (haha i'm loving all these people dropping McCarthy for his bud)

Kilde - gets claps for voting Jeffries, unsure why

LaLota - Zelden +

LaMalfa - Jordan + (sticking to it)

Lawler - McHenry* (voted for Granger last time)

MccCarthy - Jordan (gets none attention haha)

Miller-Meeks - McHenry* (Voted Granger last time)

Molinaro - Zelden* (NEW DEFECTOR WEE W-)

Payne - MIA/does not vote on recall

Pelosi gets claps for voting but they're not crazy

Rutherford - Scalise +

Scalise - Jordan +

Spartz - Jordan +

Stauber - Westerman +

VanOrden - MIA/Does not vote on recall (out)

Vargas - yells Jeffries and gets laughter for it

Womack - Scalise +

Recall happens and McHenry does the normal, talk to vote talliers if you missed voting or need to change ur vote.

429 Voted • 215 to win

Jordan - 194 votes (HE LOST 3 MORE PEOPLE)

Jeffries - 210 votes (2 dems missing)

Scalise - 8 votes

McHenry - 6 votes (McHenry laughs as he gets cheers for it and does gently call for order)

Zelden - 4

Donalds - 2 votes

McCarthy - 2 votes

Emmer - 1 vote

Garcia (M) - 1 vote

Westerman - 1 vote

NO MAJORITY, NO SPEAKER CHOSEN McHenry immediately calls recess

TAKEAWAYS AND NEWS

The thursday closed meeting was 4 HOURS and Jordan had a SECONDARY MEETING with the holdouts for 2 MORE HOURS after that. DURING that meeting Jordan was REPORTEDLY told "He'd never be speaker."

Spartz had said that she'd back Jordan one more time, but if he lost again she would vote for someone else.

Jordan supporters said something to the effect of, It's not Jordan's fault Republicans who don't vote for him are getting death threats, it's their fault for not voting for Jordan. (AND LIKE HELLO???) Another Republican lady was like, I get death threats all the time, and I'm sorry for them but suck it up, so .. a lot of sypmathy.

Gaetz and the other 8 repubs that voted to ouster McCarthy (sealing his fates as none of the dems would vote for him) have come forwar offering themselves if that's what it takes to get Jordan nominated. Offering that they'd take sanctions and removal from the conference (basically getting kicked out of the party though they're saying they'd still be repubs??? and it would kick them off of their committee seats... so could we do it anyway??? llol). Gaetz says that he thinks this BS is actually GOOD GOVERNING (sure Jan) and tHEN ASKS, What else do they want, except a pound of our flesh?" (Which like... they want NOT FUCKING J JORDAN AS THE SPEAKER)

Jeffries did a Press conference and offers bipartisan stuff but like, man am I sicsik of that being kinda empty cause the Repubs will never and the Dems wont sacrifice human rights, so it's a moot point.

A lot of Republicans were defending this BS by pointing out how may times McCarthy had to run the vote but like THAT WAS ALSO BAD AND A SHIT SHOW

It was PROJECTED that Jordan would lose 5-8, 10max, voters, he only lost three but still

THE LAST TIME SOMEONE GOT THIS LOW OF VOTES WAS 1923, FINNIS GARRET GOT 195 VOTES. JORDAN SURPASSED HIM... MAKING HISTORY....

Brian Tyler Cohen made a interesting correlation of Jordan being an election denier making sense as he was refusing to accept his losses.

AFTERMATH

The Republicans held another closed door meeting (THEY'VE BEEN CALLING THEM ""FAMILY MEETINGS"") where they held an anonymous vote as to whether or not Jordan should continue as the nominee. HE FUCKING LOST in his OWN PARTY'S MEETING.

HE HAS removed himself as a nominee. We are back to square one.

McHenry announced that they were taking a 72/weekend break and would be back on monday to do a candidate forum (to some dissent, and many lawmakers just WANT THIS DONE WITH)

The repubs that have offered themselves as tribute

(With the assumption that they are boilerplate Repubs. over LGBTQ+, Abortion, Taxes, Immigration, etc etc. *Election denier means they have made statements, did not support the ratifying of the electoral college votes, voted against impeachment and investigations.)

Tom Emmer - not an election denier at minimum, current GOP Whip (assistant leader)

Kevin Hern - Already tried before Scalise got nominated and dropped out (election denier)

Austin Scott - Was close to Jordan in numbers for the repub speaker nominee (didn't argue electoral college shit and has said USA voting is solid, but didn't go after Jan 6/trump)

Byron Donalds - the dude the Fuckaround 8 kiiinda backed against McCarthy in JAN. (election denier)

Jack Bergman - apparently wanted to challenge Jordan but didn't, JUMPED when jordan was out (election denier)

Jodey Arrington - only said he was considering, but apparently others have brought him up as an option (election denier)

Mike Johnson - has been calling around to see if ppl support him as speaker (election denier)

Pete Sessions - ALSO jumped when jordan was out (election denier)

FINAL THOUGHTS

So ends our sordid tale of Jim Jordan. May he feel stupid about this for the rest of time.

No Republican speaker is going to be good but jfc can we not have literal government destroyers????

I guess the pass on the budget was for 45 days, we have spent 18 (to be 20) of them on this bs.

SHOULD I KEEP NAMING THESE VOTE 2, DISASTER BOOGALOO since it is still technically the 2nd speaker vote of this congress, or should I name it something else now that Jordan is out?

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